#ace/allo romance

[sflow-er]

Walty fic for ace week: 'Last chance'

I don't have the time to make a visual yet as I'm going away for a few days, but the first part of the ace Henry thing I wrote for ace week is now up on ao3!

I meant to post it as a one-shot, but in the spirit of spreading awareness, you can have one part now and another at the end of the week.

Read 'Last chance' chapter 1/2 on ao3.

Summary:

As Henry and Walter's friendship takes a romantic turn, Henry decides to take the last chance to come out to his best friend before everything changes.

OR: Kissing - discussion of asexuality (including past acephobia, please read the tags & start notes) - hugging - getting together - kissing. Post-S2 (set in April).

Not consistent with my other ace Henry fics.

--

Henry’s knee-jerk response would be to just brush the question off. The truthful answer could get in the way of his plan for the rest of the night – rediscovering Walter’s features up close and setting higher scores on the scale that was just invented for this occasion – and it won’t even be relevant for a while yet. He may have been wrong about the tongue thing, but he knows more about the stuff that’s supposed to follow than Walter does. Or rather, he knows more about them in the context of an actual relationship, and whatever they’re doing here, it certainly isn’t going to be a hookup.

But now that the rush of their first kiss has faded, it’s impossible to ignore that Walter is unwittingly asking the very thing he’s been wanting to tell for ages, and this is a pretty unique window for it.

[viviennevermillion]

Seeing people only use "but some asexuals have sex!!!" and "some aromantics are in romantic relationships!!!" so they can sexualize & ship the little representation we get makes me hope someone explicitly establishes a popular character as sex-repulsed so we can see the shippers get cooked online for it

[redysetdare]

Oh so when repulsed ppl or non-partnering ppl bring up their experiences it's suddenly "not all aros/aces! Don't generalize the community!" But a choir of assholes crying out "Aros and aces can still date!" In response to ppl pointing out the erasure of those who don't is not generalizing and totally fine? Yeah, uh huh ok.

[glimblshanks]

Okay I have to ask-

[genderqueerdykes]

while we are definitely happy for everyone celebrating, as a romance repulsed aromantic, we will not be reblogging/posting any Valentine's Day content due to always having felt alienated from and disgusted by the holiday

instead, i'd like to say that i hope that every aromantic, demiromantic, greyromantic, cupioromantic, allo aros, and every other arospectrum person, especially those of us who are romance repulsed has a great day, and that they care of themselves and prioritize their own needs for at least today. i'd also like to remind you that it's okay to dislike this holiday and want to avoid it.

it is not for us, even a partnering aromantic like myself has never enjoyed or celebrated it. i've always been forced and obligated to by past partners, and it's always been a tiring, uncomfortable, expensive slog. you should never feel obligated to spend money on something you do not wish to participate in, remember that.

take care of yourselves today, fellow aromantic spectrum people. of course it's okay if you celebrate, but if you don't, do what you want to do, fill your space and time with what you want today. feel no obligation to participate in activities that don't benefit you, spend your money how you please. keep showing people that humanity is full of diverse experiences, and don't force yourself to bend to things that do not suit you. have a great day, fellow aros

[aroace-menace]

Being aro or ace in a society that’s obsessed with romance and sex is so funny actually. Because everyone is constantly talking about how great these things are and we’re just like??? Huh???

[lesbianfakir]

Thinking about this post and can we talk about how important it is that fakir was okay with Duck not loving him back?

I think it’s fair to say it’s pretty heavily implied that he’s in love with her, and it’s explicitly confirmed in the guidebook.

While Duck’s feelings for him are more nebulous and hard to pin down, from his perspective she’s in love with Mytho. We as the audience know she doesn’t actually feel that way about Mytho but from Fakir’s perspective everything she’s done so far has been for Mytho. She admitted to him in episode 12 that she had feelings for mytho and there has been nothing to dissuade him from this line of thinking. In fact, he finds her crying because mytho chose rue.

There’s this little moment I like. When Duck tells him mytho has chosen rue as his princess his eyes narrow ever so slightly.

[ID: two screenshots of Fakir from episode 25. In the first he is looking at Duck (off camera) with a serious expression. In the second he narrows his eyes slightly. End ID]

He REACTS to this news, even if it’s subtle. And he doesnt look happy about it. Fakir is upset that Mytho rejected Duck. And this seems so antithetical from what we come to expect from a romantic subplot.

So the girl he loves loves someone else… and he’s okay with that. He never tries to pressure or guilt Duck into being with him. Hell he never even mentions his feelings. She likes someone else so what’s the point. But this never dissuades him from his devotion to her. He doesn’t give her an ultimatum or make her choose. He doesn’t even seem get upset that she loves someone else. Even when she goes back to being a duck destroying his last hope of being with her romantically, even then he never wavers. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Whether that’s as friends or as partners or as just a simple boy and a duck, he wants to be with her. How she feels for him doesn’t matter so much as getting to share his life with her.

And I find this such a refreshing spin on tired romance tropes. “Just friends” looms large in our media so it’s lovely to see a boy in the so called “friendzone” who’s okay with it. Beyond okay he treasures the time he spends with Duck. His affection for her doesn’t hinge on reciprocation.

It’s so common for characters in fakir’s archetype to grow angry or sad that they’re not “the one,” often lashing out at the girl who doesn’t return their feelings. But instead we have Fakir who’s perfectly content to stay Duck’s friend. After all, being her friend is a gift in itself.

I just love to see a platonic relationship not treated as a lesser stepping stone to a romantic relationship. Sure, Fakir has feelings for Duck. But that in no way undermines the friendship they already have. It’s treated with all the gravity usually reserved for romantic relationships. They’re going to spend their lives together and whether that’s as friends or as lovers—that part isn’t important.

I’m tired of media treating friendships like they’ve suddenly become worthless when one party develops feelings and the other doesn’t return them. With fakiru, the lovely part is that their relationship is built on such a strong foundation it can stand on its own. We the audience are free to interpret it as romantic, platonic, or something in between, but with any reading their close friendship forms the centerpiece.

[vroomvroomwee]

No one talks about the aroace universal experience of all your favourite movies and shows you've had throughout your entire life are the ones where the characters have strong friendships, and only later on, after you've found the right terminology, you realise how unconsciously you've been drawn to media where the plot doesn't involve romance or sex.

For me, it was when I realised I had been playing the fourth season of Doctor Who on repeat. RELIGIOUSLY. Why point that season out? It's one of the few with an amazing plotline and one of the best most beautiful friendships, that's even bordering on a qpr, we have on television.

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

Hot take but the aggressive hardline separation of asexual and aromantic is actually EXTREMELY harmful to a lot of ace/aro people.

Angry rant under the cut

It's one to thing to go: "okay yes sometimes they go together but it's important to remember that for some people they can be different things and you can be one and not the other"

And go: "These are TOTALLY DIFFERENT 100 always separate there is no intersection EVER and if you DARE to be both then you have to piecemeal your identity to not uwu invalidate others(we do not care that we are invalidating you though lol) Don't you DARE ever experience them together you are CONFLATING"

It's like yall just want asexual to = alloromantic only and aromantic to = allosexual only.

You don't give a shit about aroaces, aces who aren't alloromantic but don't ID as aromantic or aros who aren't allosexual but don't ID as asexual.

The aspec community despises us. We get talked down to demanded to split our identities apart for your comfort. We can't exist in certain spaces because our presence there is a personal affront to allo-aspecs. Shout out to the alloaros that bitch about those disgusting aroaces just clogging up the aromantic tag ☺. Shout out to the alloaces who can still love and aren't totally heartless monsters 🥺.

Don't talk about ace shit in the aro tags, Don't talk about aro shit in the ace tags...what's that you're both? And can't neatly separate them and it brings you comfort to be able to discuss your whole orientation? SHUT THE FVCK UP YOU CONFLATING IGNORANT SHIT HEAD.

If you want to be in the aromantic community you have to leave your ace-ness at the door same for asexual community and disregarding your aromantism.

A personal example was an Aspec discord server I was in that had two media recs channels one for sex repulsed people and the other for romance repulsed. Now the issue came is that they didn't acknowledge someone could be both i.e both sex & romance repulsed/just looking for media that had neither sexual nor romantic content, what this lead too is that the romance free media channel was filled with graphic hookup erotica or sexually explicit songs and the sex free channel was just fade to black romance books 🙃...wonderful.

Or when polls/forms will ask you to pick your orientation but only things listed are het,gay,bi/pan yes even the ones made by aspecs, and what they actually mean is use the one that correlates to your romantic/sexual attraction...so fvck aroaces and non sam aces & aros?

And don't get me started on how you treat non sam aces & aros. You at least tolerate the self IDing aroaces, because they have the "curtesy" of separating themselves from the real proper aces & aros.(let's not question how many aroaces would prefer to just ID as just asexual or just aromantic but are forced into aroace identity because that would be "conflating" and they don't want to deal with the harassment).

"UwU don't say asexual when you actually mean aromantic" Some bitches don't use to SAM fvck off with allo-splaining my own sexuality to me.

It would be so much easier and save a lot of pain if yall just went : "asexual for some means no sexual attraction and it says nothing of your romantic attraction AND some people use it to mean no attraction generally". And "aromantic for some means no romantic attraction and it says nothing of your sexual attraction AND some people use it to mean no attraction generally" and "for some they are separated but others not so much as there isn't always a strict separation. Just be chill about it don't accuse people of being ignorant or conflating they know their identities better than you". But no ya chose violent aphobia instead.

But ultimately nobody cares because this shit is only harming the undesirable aces/aros the ones who are harmful stereotypes the ones that make you "look bad".

I know deep in my heart there are a lot of alloaces & alloaros that who would be happy if aroaces & non sam aces/aros didn't exist, there I said it. How can I not come to that conclusion when at every turn they shit on us. They talk about how the worst thing in the world is to be mistaken for one of us. That our representation is actively harmful.

A last parting spicy take it's either "asexulity and aromantism are full identities on their own and aren't modifiers" OR "actually neither asexual nor aromantic can stand on their own they need to be paired with another orientation and they actually are just modifiers" you can't have it both ways. 🤭

[eclaire-went-bam]

although i think it's important to acknowledge the complexities of aro & ace identities, & to be welcoming of aroace identities that may be sex/romance favourable/hypersexual & seek those relationships, i think it's still important to acknowledge that completely romance/sex repulsed aroaces are still a minority in the ace community despite being the stereotype. & we should still listen to those voices,

[sflow-er]

Walty fic for ace week: 'Last chance' (complete)

Happy last day of Ace Awareness Week!

We count weeks from Monday to Sunday in my country, so it's technically still ace week for me!

The second and final chapter of Last chance (my Walty first kiss + getting together fic for ace week) is finally up on ao3.

Read Chapter 2: The talk

(or start with Chapter 1: The kiss)

Summary:

As Henry and Walter's friendship takes a romantic turn, Henry decides to take the last chance to come out to his best friend before everything changes.

OR: Kissing - discussion of asexuality (including past acephobia, please check the content warnings) - hugging - getting together - kissing. Post-S2 (set in April).

Not consistent with my other ace Henry fics.

Rated T. Content warnings under the cut.

--

Henry’s knee-jerk response would be to just brush the question off. The truthful answer could get in the way of his plan for the rest of the night – rediscovering Walter’s features up close and setting higher scores on the scale that was just invented for this occasion – and it won’t even be relevant for a while yet. He may have been wrong about the tongue thing, but he knows more about the stuff that’s supposed to follow than Walter does. Or rather, he knows more about it in the context of an actual relationship, and whatever they’re doing here, it certainly isn’t going to be a hookup.

But now that the rush of their first kiss has faded, it’s impossible to ignore that Walter is unwittingly asking the very thing he’s been wanting to tell for ages, and this is a pretty unique window for it.

CW: discussion of aversions in both chapters (French kissing, vague references to other aversions; none of these are actually depicted), discussion of acephobia in ch2 (Henry's ex-girlfriend), discussion of past internalised acephobia in ch2 (minor, Henry is in a good place now), discussion of sex in ch2 (not specific at all, but Henry does have past experience of and is more favourable to sex in this than my other fics), discussion of emotionally immature ex-partner (Henry's girlfriend again).

[redysetdare]

I keep seeing posts where people are saying "Valentines doesn't effect asexuals!" "romantic relationships have nothing to do with asexuality!" And while i understand the point they are making is to stop conflating Aromanticism with Asexuality, it is still extremely annoying to find people don't understand the nuance that comes with asexualities connection to romance - because it DOES have a connection to it. It DOES have problems in relation to romance. To say it doesn't is ignoring a huge set is experiences that ace people face.

One of the most common experiences for asexuals is the struggle to be in romantic relationships because they are asexual. a lot of romantic relationships expect you to have sex. if you're someone who doesn't have sex then unfortunately that causes a lot of people to lose interest in you romantically as well.

There's also non-sam aces, and let me tell you it's so very strange to hear someone bring up non-sam aros but then ignore the existence of non-sam aces in order to prove some point of it somehow being ace peoples fault that aro and ace are viewed as the same. Some non-sam aces do not date either. they are still ace and they can still face similar problems to aromantic people because of that. they are still effected my amatonormativity.

Aces DO have connection to romance. Asexual DID have a reason to trend on valentines day along with Aro and Aroace. Asexuality is effected my romance and amatonormativity. Sop acting like it isn't. stop acting like aros and aces have absolutely nothing in common. We can work together and have similar experiences and still be seen as separate identities. there is overlap. stop treating this as black and white where one identity can only be effected by one kind of problem. It's naive at best and down right hateful at worse.

[humandisastersquad]

Hate how people are going on about how “the doctor is queer now!” as if the doctor hasnt been intentionally and unintentionally with various degrees of explicitness, portrayed as non-binary, as well as ace- and aro-spec for decades, from both writers and the actors portraying them. But obviously that "doesn't count" bc sooo many people only equate queerness with same/similar gender romo/sexual attraction (and also havent consumed dr who outside of the rtd1 era) and lauding some off-hand remarks about being attracted to male historical figures, ignoring and downplaying the decades of far more important and meaningful queer portrayals of the doctor being nb and aspec

[tsams-confessions]

im not hiding myself, I send an ask a long time ago saying how, as someone who liked to ship, I was doing my best to keep Moon as Ace representation as best as I could (Im demi- who loves silly lovers) I speak to some Ace artist and they had guide me, I been follwing a nice blog too! that often responds to my ask, but I leave this ask now to say.. what Im doing wrong? I keep reading these ask saying "how aphobic people are when removing the sex repulsed out of NewMoon!" when.. all I do is going by how he is acting in canon and what he said- the "I dont swin any way" was to a literal monster showing his ass.. but but , im not here to get yelled at. im here to know, to ask those anons who say me and others artist are being aphobic, to please guide me, what Im doing wrong? maybe is my like to proyect into characters I like? is it because I view im as Ace-Sex favorable? is it because I just like him to be with Solar? I ask those who leave those type of ask, to please tell me, and by extent. others that will read, what is it aphobic to view NewMoon as another "type" (hope is ok to say it like that) if Ace, please because I care to know..

.

[truly-sincerely]

I'm asexual and aromantic in the sense that I am not interested in having sex at all or particularly in being romantic/romanced

But as a writer/consumer I am extremely horny and extremely romantic

Is there a unique name for this, because it kind of feels bad getting lumped in with the sex/romance averse and disinterested aces/aros

[altschmerzes]

out there doing the lord’s work (headcanoning characters as aromantic and Not interested in romantic relationships at all actually, alienating one fandom at a time but having a fantastic blast with it all the while, which is really all that matters)