#and now we know they can all every single one be absolutely obliterated by the lightest application of a single classic Foghat song

[justporo]

A Night of Song and Laughter (Part 6)

In which Astarion basically says "Murder is okay, but it's not okay to disrespect my wife". A lot of swearing in this one, be warned - also Astarion's bares his claws.

So - ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER ONE?? I'm honestly so tired, at the moment, it's doing my job at day, being a fanfic writer and servant to the fandom at night. Which results in poor sleep schedule and eating habits. Didn't even get to keep playing for a few days. But I love all the things happening, all the content people create and people liking my content as well - after all I am just as prone to flattery as Astarion is.

Also I should make a post where I will link all chapters - I will do that probably tonight or tomorrow - depending on how quick writing the next part will be.

You know the drill by now, you can already continue reading on AO3!

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You)

(Gif from here!)

Astarion quickly made to take everyone’s drink orders. When Daegin opted to get off his stool and get himself another beer and almost fell off it, Eodin just about caught him and convinced him to take a round of water. So the dwarf complained and made to rest his head on the table.

Before Astarion left for the bar he threw a quick questioning glance at you, with it asking if it would be okay to leave you for a few moments. You nodded slightly and smiled reassuringly at him but in fact you were dreading to be alone with these people even though they were your friends.

When Lira offered to go with him to help carry everything your heart sank even deeper. Closing your eyes for a short moment, you steeled yourself for the words that would definitely be had once Astarion and Lira would be out of earshot. At least they would think that, when you were pretty sure Astarion would use every one of his heightened vampiric and elven senses to not miss a single word.

When you opened your eyes again you saw how Lira practically beamed at Astarion who was much taller than her. She didn’t even reach his shoulders. Lira had always been your closest friend in the group, she was truly a sweetheart – you had wondered how she did make such a formidable thief though since she seemed so honest and soft. You were more than sure Astarion already had a place in her heart, and she would use the moments she had to completely obliterate the vampire with many more questions about him and your relationship. The thought made you smile.

Astarion swiftly and elegantly managed to navigate through the now much bigger crowd to the bar while making sure the much smaller half-elf wasn’t pushed over by anyone in the pretty drunk crowd. You could barely make a step without bumping into people, so he softly touched her shoulder, kept his hand there lightly and motioned her to walk in front of him, so she wouldn’t be elbowed in the face by accident. She was completely oblivious to his show of polite chivalry since she had started bombarding him with questions about himself and Tav.

“Have you been together long? Did you save her like a hero on a white horse and she inevitably fell for you? Wait, you said, she saved you, what happened? Are you staying in Baldur’s Gate? We have to meet again some time, I need to know absolutely everything. You two are such a beautiful couple, Gods, you would have gorgeous babies! Does she make you happy? She seems so happy, I’ve never seen her this happy, you have to take good care of her for me, promise?” Astarion kept softly nudging her to get her to move to the bar while she basically kept walking backwards and blabbering. Since he was also trying to focus on the conversation that no doubt was going on at the table he had just left, he only gave pretty short answers to Lira: “A few months now. Once or twice, no horse needed though, they bite too much for my liking. Much longer story. We are. I’m sure we can. Uhm, thank you.” But the last few things Lira had said and asked made Astarion focus entirely on her. He looked at her expecting face and replied: “She makes me very happy and in a way, I didn’t think I could ever feel. And if I truly make her only a fraction as happy as she’s made me, I can be considered the luckiest man in all of Baldur’s Gate, nay, Faerun. And I’ll promise you I will do anything I can to keep her happy and safe as long as she’ll want me by her side.” The sudden change in tone and sincerity in his words stopped Lira in her rambling. “Wow”, she simply whispered silently and looked at Astarion. Then she suddenly jumped to give him a quick hug. Astarion almost made to step out of reach before her arms went around his waist, but he let it happen. The concept of hugging was still pretty new to him, except with you of course. And since he didn’t quite know how to react correctly in such a situation, he just kind of went to awkwardly pat the adorable half-elf on the back. This was still new, but he was pretty sure that it was nice and warmth filled his chest.

Lira let go off him, seemingly also surprised by her sudden outburst: “Sorry… I’m just so happy for her… and for you too!” She smiled warmly then turned around, since they were finally at the bar. “Soooo – I am certainly invited to the wedding, am I not? Can I be Tav’s Maid of Honor?” Astarion would have probably blushed would that have been possible for him. Did anyone ever make him this flustered in a matter of hours since meeting? Well, you probably, but other than that? He was released from questioning though when the barmaid came over and took their order. As they waited, Astarion decided he definitely liked this one of your friends and decided to be his best polite and interested self and asked Lira to tell him about herself.

You watched the two of them wander off into the crowd. Then you remembered the two rather grim faces in front of you and the one, that was already much too drunk to actually really notice anything.

Eodin had crossed the arms over his chest again, dropping the façade completely: “You have some nerve, Tav.” His tone was bitter. You see Miyena’s lip slightly curve into a smirk. “You disappear for months, leave us with a load of jobs, we can’t finish because we need your goddamn elven ass, since you are the best with sleight of hand and all. Which made us not only miss out on said jobs but also caused us to lose most of our clients, because now we seem to be the most unreliable band of thieves this city has ever seen! And then you reappear with this fucking elven twink and basically let him take you right on the fucking table like a slut!”, Eodin’s voice rises more and more during his rant while Miyena’s malicious smirk grows bigger. At least you can tell who it was who spewed so much venom into his ear. Daegin didn’t seem to react even though Eodin was practically shouting, in fact, you could hear some soft snoring.

You are completely dumbstruck. Had you expected a verbal ass-whooping? Absolutely! Had you expected this? Absolutely not! The feelings of guilt you had for abandoning your friends albeit there hadn’t been anything you could’ve done about this vanished in an instant. His words were pure venom and you could feel rage slowly rear inside you. Being angry about all of this was the one thing but it was the way he said it, especially with the intonation of your and Astarion’s elven heritage and calling you a slut? You were done with the niceties and you started to feel murderous.

You sucked on your teeth and mimicked Eodin’s aggressive stance, looked him straight in the eyes and asked: “Mind telling me, what exactly changed in the past months I wasn’t here? I get being angry and wanting an explanation. What I don’t get is you insulting me and Astarion – who you’ve never met before today, might I add – making a scene here in front of everyone and especially, what specifically makes this about me being an elf?” You saw how Miyena side-eyed him and raised an expectant eyebrow. “And you certainly didn’t think of me as slut, when I jerked you off and you were too drunk to get it up properly! You disgust me!” He winced at the mention of this particularly embarrassing night you had shared, which incidentally had been the last. You were disgusted by the memory. Bile was raising in your throat, making you gag – why did you ever think this guy deserved you at all?

“Well, I thought you weren’t like them – all fleeting attention, mysteries, riddles. I thought I knew you, Tav, I thought you were my friend… and I even thought you were more for some time. I thought you were one of us, so sweet and nice… So… indeed, Tav, what has changed?” You couldn’t believe your ears. Never had your elven heritage made any difference at all, especially since you’d grown up on the city streets and hadn’t had the comfort of a sheltered childhood far off in the woods in some elven enclave. His words hurt. You might’ve never seen him in the way he once wanted you, but he had been a close friend, an understanding friend. This angry and obviously jealous side was not only new but disgusting to you. Your eyes wandered over to Miyena who was still smirking. “Well, for starters”, you said “thinking really ever wasn’t your strong suit. You should leave that to the others. Ah, but seems you already handed that duty over to Miyena here.” You turned to the tiefling and threw her a death glare: “Don’t think I don’t see how you’ve been smirking and side-eyeing Eodin the whole time, you bitch. You always wanted everything for yourself. Go ahead, you can have him, his limp-dick and all loot and coin you get from your jobs, I don’t care.” The tiefling woman looked ready to throw daggers at you. Eodin opened his mouth, now having at least the decency to look the slightest bit guilty, but you lifted your hand before he could speak and continued: “If all it takes for you to turn against me and discriminate me is being away for a few months, then consider everything – our work friendship, our work arrangement – separated. You were always very impressionable, but never would I have thought you were so easy to turn into a hot toxic pile of garbage. Go right on with Miyena, but be careful, she was already eyeing Astarion, because she always wants what others have.” And with that you ended your spiteful little speech.

The man and the tiefling looked at each other for a second, then continued to stare angrily at you. A year back, you ‘d never would have called them out on their bullshit, you had indeed changed. Back then you would have eaten up the shame and would have given in to your strong people-pleasing tendency. But you were done taking the world’s and everyone’s shit and be thankful for mere scraps they threw you, you deserved better than this – something your vampiric soulmate had taught you. “Now, you can fuck off or you can stay and be nice for the night because I don’t want to spoil the evening for Lira and Daegin”, you added when neither of them said anything.

This suddenly seemed to get Miyena and Eodin out of their stupor. Miyena simply hissed at you, when Eodin spat: “Why don’t you fuck off, you and that arrogant elven prick. Who is he really anyway, did you sell yourself off to him as a plaything or mistress or something? You don’t belong…”

A glint of silver and there was a blade at each Miyena’s and Eodin’s throat. Astarion was standing impossibly close behind them both, his arms around each of their shoulders. He’d masterfully had sneaked up behind them. To others, it would have looked simply like a drunken hug from afar – only the two daggers pressing against their necks were distracting from that. “I’d advise you to hold very still or you’ll find out exactly how prickly I can be”, Astarion whispered to them in a voice that was actually rather made for candle light and dark bedrooms, his red eyes were glinting with fury. The tiefling slightly hissed at him but tensed, Eodin just whimpered.

“Now, I really did not appreciate your tone and how you spoke to my partner. But seeing as I was enjoying myself so much tonight, I’m giving you one more chance. You can be nice little puppies now and be polite and graceful for the rest of the evening. And after tonight I never want to see a shred of you again”, he whispered to them hoarsely, his mouth wandering from Eodin’s ear to Miyena’s and back again. The daggers pressed slightly harder against their throats now.

“Or”, Astarion drawled and smiled wickedly “you can fuck off right now, just as my lovely lady here proposed. Choose as you wish but behave or I will splatter you all over the walls.” You swallowed hard, did he have to be this threatening and with that tone in his voice. In a very twisted way, you enjoyed what was happening way too much. Gods, you loved when Astarion became all protective. And something wild and dark in you enjoyed his threatening, predatory demeanor. The softest gasp left your mouth and you squeezed your thighs together – hard. This was not the time to get aroused. Astarion heard though and his eyebrow shot up, his eyes flicking to yours for a split second and his signature smirk found its way back on his lips.

“What will it be now?”, he then whispered to his two captives again “I wouldn’t want to end the night in bloodshed – well, maybe a little.” He grinned baring his fangs and licked over his lips slowly. Eodin turned completely pale and Miyena’s eyes widened.

“Go… let us go”, the man whispered and started to struggle against Astarion’s hold while trying to not get knicked by the knife at his throat.

“Then have it your way”, Astarion sneered and in one swift movement withdrew his daggers, turned them around and pushed them off into the crowd - hard. They stumbled away, bumping into the people around them but quickly made their way away from you.

Astarion rolled his shoulders and sighed dramatically, then looked at you grinning: “Ah, darling, so good to be alone with you again, don’t you think?” His eyes wandered down your body and he licked his lips again. “Nothing like a little drama and knife play to spice up the night, am I right?” His red eyes turned even darker with an impossible hunger shining in them. You gulped, Daegin snored.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being EJP Raijin’s Manager

Suna’s Crush

Rintaro Suna (featuring EJP) x GN! manager

Warnings: fluff!

AN: this is a request from @kitakashi! Also let’s talk about how freaking 😮‍💨🥵 timeskip Suna is ok 🤚🏻

Ok you are definitely one of the lucky ones YN

I mean, EJP Raijin?!?

Have you SEEN their lineup…

Washio from Fukurodani, Komori from Itachiyama and Suna from Inarizaki???

Like are we being fr right now because 😮‍💨

Anyways, you someone how managed to score this literal dream job

And boy are we all jealous!

I want to say EJP is probably a lot calmer than MSBY and even the Adlers

They give stoic yet sensible vibes

And please, they are absolutely a stellar team!

Middle blocking is dominated by Washio and Suna and Komori handles receives

Defense specialists 👏🏻

Nekoma who? We don’t know them 💅

Anyways your job as manager is exciting and fun

The guys all respect you, helping you out as much as they can

Please Komori and Washio drink respect juice every morning

Washio helps you set up the net while Komori helps you collect volleyballs at the end of practice

But there’s one player in particular who is really attached to you 👀

Yep that’s right! Our precious love Suna Rin

Now Suna doesn’t attach himself to just anyone, oh no

He remains mostly aloof, unbothered by most people and things

But there’s just something about their dear manager that draws him in

Maybe it’s the fact that you let him nap on you 🧐

Or maybe it’s because you make the best bento boxes?

Nah it’s definitely because you add the perfect ratio of protein powder to the teams shakes

Or maybe 👀 just maybe it’s because the man is utterly infatuated with you

Oh that’s definitely it 😏

Suna always volunteers to walk you to the train station and even meets you every morning for coffee

This is strange to the team because before you started, Suna was always the last one to arrive for practice

Heck Komori often had the job of getting Suna TO practice

But not anymore, oh no our precious YN has obliterated any need for that 💅

I bet your thinking “there’s no way EJP hasn’t noticed this change” and you would be correct

Because they most definitely did

But unlike our other feral div. 1 teams, EJP isn’t as dramatic

Or at least, that’s what they’d like you to think 👀

They simply by their time, waiting for the right moment to pounce

Now that doesn’t mean they don’t bait Suna

For instance, you often come up in locker room discussion

“You know, YN is really the best manager. They just do such a great job at everything,” Washio gushes

Suna 👉🏻😐

“And they are super hot! Like wow level hot! Like ‘dang this person actually exists outside of a book’ hot!” Komori says

Suna 👉🏻😐😑

“Honestly I’m surprised Yn is single, it’s not like they don’t get fair share of looks. Sometimes I think they get more attention than we do after the game!” Washio adds

Suna 👉🏻😑😠

“For real! Plus have you seen the number of times they’ve gotten asked out? YN showed me their dms and like it’s insane!” Komori says

Suddenly, a locker slams shut as Suna stomps out from the locker room

Komori and Washio 👉🏻😐😏 got ‘em

Suna knows your popular and it drives him insane!

He’s been wanting to ask you out for a while but he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship or professional relationship

Because you see, Suna actually thinks about things outside of his own feelings

Unlike SOME people

*cough* ATSUMUBOKUTOHINATA *cough*

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get jealous

It honestly annoys Komori and Washio that he hasn’t asked you out

Because you see, it’s also obvious to them that YOU like Suna as well

They see how you stare at him and how you smile when he’s around

How you desire to be close to him 🥰

Everyday that passes, they get more and more annoyed that neither of you will make a move

But you see, that’s all about to change

And not because Komori or Washio snaps

Oh no, because the universe has their backs and is sick of this mutual pinning

🙌🏻 picture this 🙌🏻

It’s finally game day and EJP is facing our favs MSBY

😏 you know where I’m going…

And because MSBY isn’t allowed to have a manager yet because they are too feral and might bite, they must simply be satisfied with looking at You

But oh no, that’s not good enough for them

Because our little jackals get so jealous of pretty managers

Especially ones as pretty as you 🥺

So when Atsumu is staring at you a little longer than he should and Suna notices, glaring at his former teammate

Komori and Washio also notice 👀

And ever the opportunist they pounce!

“Hey Yn why don’t you see if the Jackals need help? I mean we’ve got it over here,” Komori suggests

“That’s a great idea Motoya!” You : D

Suna 👉🏻 yeah great idea MOTOYA 😡

You skip over to MSBY as Atsumu continues to stare at you

You smile and laugh with the team as Suna stands there, hands clenched and fuming

“Suna you good man? You look tense?” Washio questions 😏

“I’m fine!” Suna growls out as he turns and stomps away

When the game starts, Suna is on FIRE 🔥

Literally, the wall of Suna

MSBY is struggling hard to score today because Suna is just that on point

When Atsumu attempts a setter dump, Suna shovels it right back in his face scoring a point for EJP

Komori and Washio are standing there like 😌😌

Please they are so satisfied right now

After the game which was dominated by EJP, Atsumu decides he’s going to make the most of this opportunity and ask you out

“Hey YN, I was wondering if you’d like to go out tonight. I could use some consoling,” he says, a sad look on his face

Suddenly a looming presence enters engulfs you

You stiffen, feeling someone behind you as you turn to see Suna literally FUMING 😡

Quick Yn deal with this!

Komori and Washio 👉🏻👀🍿

MSBY 👉🏻 🧍‍♂️👁️👄👁️

“Umm I’m sorry Atsumu but I actually like someone already,” you say as Suna continues to loom

“Oh, yeah no problem-” Atsumu responds, slowly backing away

He has some self-preservation skills ok

You turn to Suna as he continues to glare at Atsumu

Suddenly, he feels lips press to his cheek as he immediately melts

Suna 👉🏻😡😐😳☺️

“YN I like you alot! Would you please go out with me?” He asks as you nodd

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask! Of course I will!” You gush as you hug him, sweat and all

Don’t worry Yn, Komori is totally filming this for you and Suna to watch later 🥰

[goosewriting]

“Have we met?” - Part 2

summary: Fives keeps finding himself coming to see reader, so they decide to confront him. 

relationship: Fives x gn!reader

warnings: hmmm angst :^), mentions of characters’ deaths, implied brainwashing?, comfort at the end

word count: 1.7k

A/N: i'll do everything in my power to bring this man back time and time again >:')

prompts used (source): - it hurts me, just how much i ache for you - i feel your absence in everything that i do alone, in every place i go without you

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 (you're here!)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

→ PART 2: When you came back to him

Several days go by without you and Fives interacting much. He’s mostly focussing on his missions, and you’re focused on your work as well, trying to distract yourself from the pain of being away from your beloved by taking shift after shift. The nights are long and cold for you, and you can barely sleep. You wonder if he feels the same at all.

One evening, a ship comes back in such a bad state, they call all hands on deck to repair it. So you go down to the hangar to work on turning whatever is salvageable from the wreck back into a working part. After taking one last sip of your caf (it was going to be a long night), you set the cup away and crawl under a panel, looking at the messy wiring. It isn’t long until you hear some steps approaching and stopping beside you.

You climb out from under the ship and see none other than Fives, just standing there, helmet tucked under one of his arms. He looks unsure and kind of tense. You lean onto the ship’s frame.

“Hey, handsome,” you greet him with your usual pet name. 

“Hi,” is all he replies. You rise your brows at him, asking for him to continue, but he doesn’t. For a moment, all you two hear is the sounds of machinery and indistinct chatter of the hangar. 

“So,” you stretch out the word. “What brings you here this fine evening?” 

“I’m… honestly not entirely sure myself,” Fives responds, looking around as if he only now realised where he was without knowing how he got here. Then he heaves a sigh. “I found this in my last mission and had the sudden urge to bring it back for you, for some reason.”

He digs around in one of the pouches on his belt with his free hand and takes out a little rock. Offering it to you, he holds out his open palm, and you almost burst into tears right then and there. Back when you started dating, you had jokingly told Fives that on his next mission he should bring back a souvenir for you. And since then, he’d always do that, bringing you rocks or trinkets he found. Once he actually gave you one of his old armour parts, a shoulder pauldron, that got absolutely obliterated in an explosion because he hadn't had the time to get you anything better. You kept it anyway, because it was a reminder to both of you that even after going out there and risking his life, you were here waiting for him to come back to you.

And he had, every single time. Except that this time, he came back, just not to you.

Seeing that you're just staring at the rock in his hand, Fives clears his throat.

“You know what, nevermind,” he mumbles, about to put the rock back into his pouch. “It was silly anyway.”

“No, wait,” you stop him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to space out. I’ll take the rock.”

You take it into your hand to inspect it, turning it around in your fingers against the light. One half is of a brick red, while the other partially transparent, of a milky blue with specks of green and gold. It looks a bit like a galaxy, and the thought brings a smile to your face. Clutching the rock in your fist, you bring it to your chest and look up at Fives with a genuine smile. 

“Thank you,” you say, tilting your head to the side slightly. “It’s been a while since you brought me one of this colour.”

“Right…”, he says and starts studying your face, but then his hand shoots up to his head as he takes a sharp breath through his teeth.

“Are you okay?” You reach out to him, but he takes a step back.

“I-I’m fine,” he says through gritted teeth, trying to calm his pained breaths. “Sorry to interrupt you while you’re working. I better get back.”

“See you around, I hope?” you ask, hugging yourself.

He leaves with a nod, but you could have sworn you heard him say “me too” under his breath.

This goes on for a couple of rotations; Fives suddenly appearing at your workstation in the hangar looking like he’s lost, or entering your workshop only to come to a sudden halt, as if he forgot why he’s there right after passing the door. Often he'd have a little trinket for you. Other times he’d just come by to say hi. But every time you try to bring up something from your past together, his head starts hurting and he leaves.

At some point, you decide you've waited long enough. You'd get nowhere by just waiting. After all, he was coming to see you. Even if he didn’t know why himself. So now it’s time to go to him instead. You've wooed him once, surely you can do it again… right?

On a particularly frustrating day at work, after trying to design a new electrical panel for a ship and not being able to make it work after what felt like a hundred tries, you decide you need to get out and move a bit to clear your mind. You’re still grumbling and thinking about the panel, turning it over and over in your mind’s eye, trying to find the problem. All the while, your legs are walking on their own, and it’s not too long before you find yourself at the barracks of the 501st. 

Standing in front of the door, you sigh, thinking back to how many times you had sneaked in and out of here. Officially, clones weren’t allowed to have romantic relationships, but you knew there were actually a handful on this ship. And everyone who was in on it kept the secret. The 501st was well aware of your relationship with Fives, and they had always been supportive, Rex included. You’re sure the Generals also suspected something, but they never said anything, for which you were thankful.

Unsure of what you even wanted to do here in the first place, you’re about to turn around and leave when the door suddenly slides open and you’re met with Fives, sans armour. He’s only wearing his blacks, a bag hanging from his shoulders; he’s going to the gym. 

“Oh, hi there,” he greets you with a small smile. “Were you looking for someone?”

Screw it, you think.

“Actually, yes. You,” you answer and gesture towards his bag. “Leave it, we need to talk.”

— — —

Entering to your room, you sit down on your bed, and Fives sits down on a chair next to it.

“I’ve been wondering for a while now,” you start, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. “Do you remember what happened on Ringo Vinda?”

The question takes Fives by surprise, but he makes an effort to try and think back to those events. He tells you what he knows, from the start of the mission to seeing Tup shoot General Tiplar, his memories ending when the Kaminoans put him under for a routine check-up.

“I had this recurring nightmare for several days after I came back,” Fives ends his retelling with a frown. “I kept seeing Tup on Kamino, in the room next to mine. He was dying and there was nothing I could do to stop it.” 

You reach out to hold his hand, but as his head starts spinning again, he retracts his hand from yours at first. But this time, he reaches back for your hand with a groan, and brings it to his face so you cup his cheek. 

“Every time when I’m with you, it hurts,” Fives speaks in a whisper. “My head is screaming at me to get away from you. And at the same time, it hurts me, just how much I ache for you.”

He tightly closes his eyes to refrain from crying, but the tears are already rolling down his cheeks. You feel incredibly helpless.

“Why can’t I remember who you are?” he asks, his voice breaking, just like your heart. “I don’t remember seeing your face or hearing your voice before, yet I feel your absence in everything that I do alone, in every place I go without you… I find myself looking for you wherever I go.”

By now, you can’t hold it back any more and take both his hands, pulling him to sit beside you on the bed, and hug him. This time he hugs back, and he's shaking. 

“I don’t know what happened to you, Fives, but it’s okay,” you say into his shoulder, gently stroking up and down his back. “You’re back here with me. We’ll be fine.”

By the way he’s shaking, you can tell he’s trying to choke back a sob.

“It’s just you and me, sweetheart, just let it out.”

Fives starts crying properly, holding onto you for dear life, his face buried between your neck and your shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Fives,” you say, your own tears staining his blacks. “I wish I knew what to do. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” he breathes as he pulls back slightly to look at you, and for the first time since he came back to the Resolute, it feels like he’s finally properly looking at you like he used to; eyes filled with love and a little bit of mischief.

You lean in, your hands at the nape of his neck, and pull him in for a kiss. It's sweet, almost shy, like he's kissing you for the first time. He sighs into it and pulls you even closer, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Once you break for air, both of you panting, you lie down on the bed, pulling him down with you so he’s on top of you, and you hold his head to your chest. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” Fives asks, and you can’t help the light chuckle that escapes you.

“Of course.” 

You spend the next minutes in silence, just basking in each other’s presence.

“Will you tell me about us?” he asks after some time. “How we met, and how I definitely charmed you?”

You laugh, running your fingers through his hair.

“Sure thing, I’ll tell you everything.”

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings, @kalea-bane, @soka-writes-things, @padawancat97

[latoyalestrange]

enough pt. 2

s. sallow x slytherin!f!reader

summary: continuation to another blurb by yours truly. are they called blurbs or drabbles? imagine's? one shots? help me out here young people. anyway, i saw a tiktok of an angsty monologue done by ai seb and i need everyone to hurt the way it hurt me.

words: 1.4k

warnings: angst, pining, fluff, begging, kissing, minors dni as always pls. not edited!

ib: alentiahart on tiktok

despite his better judgement, ominis found himself checking the undercroft for his best friend. he knew of what happened, knew he needed to distance himself from sebastian, but he needed to make sure he wasn't a danger to himself or anyone else first. a part of him also couldn't believe what happened. he needed to hear it from his friend himself.

a series of mechanical clicks sounded from the secret entrance to the undercroft as he approached it. a familiar sense of dread came over him, like the feeling he had when in the catacombs with you and sebastian. nevertheless, he carried on into the dimly-lit hideout, listening for any sign of sebastian.

"sebastian? can we talk?" he was met with a rigid silence. he concentrated for a moment, listening intently.

"i know you're in here, sebastian. i just want to know that you're alright." he felt pathetic pleading him. why did he care so much after he's committed such atrocities? ominis couldn't give you a precise answer, but he knew it was due it part to the sentimental value of their relationship. they'd been best friends through everything. sebastian stood up for him time and time again when a sour-mouthed gryffindor had the nerve to taunt him, and was constantly aware for him, helping him with whatever he needed. however, he also knew that those things hardly mattered anymore.

finally giving in, sebastian sighed and stepped through the shadows near the far end of the room.

"i never wanted this to happen, ominis." he was quiet for a moment, trying to decide how he wanted to react. he took a deep breath before answering.

"i know." sebastian felt an instant wave of relief wash over him. you had decided you wanted nothing to do with him, which he understood, but all he wanted was to be heard.

"not just with solomon...but with y/n." the boy sulked over to the leather couch and let himself fall into it. ominis followed close behind, joining him on the arm rest of the opposite side. he didn't realize it in the moment, but he had instinctively left your spot open.

"you know, when i first met her--" he chuckled, shaking his head a bit. "she was so confident in her magic, every single cast, every movement was effortless...i was dumbstuck." ominis was lost on where sebastian was taking this, but he listened anyway.

"i remember everything about that day. i remember how she wore her hair, how she answered every question correctly and spoke so confidently. i remember when our eyes met for the first time." his gaze was growing more distant with every detail he relayed, wrapped up in the images in his mind.

"and then she absolutely obliterated me in front of the entire class." ominis tried to hold back a chuckle, but he couldn't hide his shoulders from shaking with amusement. sebastian noticed and joined in, relieving some pressure form the atmosphere in the room. the laughter quickly died out, however, and they were left defenseless with their thoughts again.

"that's when i knew i wanted more...so much more. i wanted all of her." ominis could tell he was beginning to lose his composure, his voice quivering as he spoke.

"what are you saying, sebastian?" his brow arched inquisitively. normally ominis is an observational person. how could he have missed it?

"don't get me wrong, i will cherish our friendship forever, truly. she always dropped everything to help me and now i see how i took her for granted. she gave me kindness in a time of need and i used her for every last drop of it. i knew that it wasn't all for anne, but for me, too." sebastian didn't have to say it outright for his friend to understand. that was all the confirmation he needed.

"does she know any of this?" ominis was met with silence for a moment while he struggled to find an answer.

"maybe. no? i don't know." the boy let his head fall into his hands. everything was so complicated now.

"then i think you know what you have to do." ominis pulled himself off the arm of the couch and started towards the exit. "i have to say i'm not very fond of you at the moment. but if anyone didn't deserve to be hurt in this, it's her. she's been crying for days. if you can fix it, i might be able to forgive you." sebastian blinked away tears, trying his very best to be tough in front of his friend.

"okay...okay," he agreed. ominis left with a nod, leaving the boy alone with his thoughts. there was only one place she could be.

every since the incident, sebastian was as straight as an arrow. he was on time to every class, turned in every assignment, and stayed clear of any sort of trouble. he talked to fellow students other than his two best friends in order to avoid raising suspicion, but it was all an act. inside, he was terrified and alone. he felt no different as he scanned the slytherin common room for the familiar sight of you. when he found no sign of you, it was onward to the dorms. he avoided detection as he took the girls' stairs instead of his own and advanced down the hallway until he found your door. it was closed, so he put his ear up to the door. not hearing much, he knocked cautiously on the door.

"y/n?" as he expected, nothing.

"y/n, i don't know if you're in there, but..." he cursed himself as he found tears pooling in his eyes despite his best efforts. "i'm sorry. i was wrong before. can you open the door so we can talk?"

on the other side of the wooden door, you found yourself drawn to his voice. you rested your hand on the splintered door, wishing it was his chest.

"y/n...i understand that maybe we've lost our chance, but if it's worth anything, i feel awful for the way i've treated you. i know most of the time i spend every minute pretending that i don't care, but i do. i care for you so much, y/n..." you heard a dull thud as he let his head fall to the barrier between the two of you. you inched closer to the doorknob. god, were you really about to let him in again? it was your turn to curse as your nimble fingertips brushed the cold metal, still contemplating, almost as if you were waiting for him to say the magic words to get you to swoon into him again.

"i have more than care for you..." there it was. he had said the one thing that tugged at your heartstrings in just the right way. you prayed to merlin that this wasn't some sick trick and you weren't mistaking ingenuine words for fact. in the blink of an eye, your door was wide open, and he was towering over you once again, his eyes tried and swollen. he looked shocked to see you, realizing you'd actually heard his profession.

"say it." he blinked, almost taken aback. "enough with the sonnets. i need you to say it." he suppressed a smile, meeting your gaze as a knowing smile shown through anyway. he slowly dropped one knee, then the other, keeping his eyes locked on yours the entire way down. his hands rose to grip your hips, pulling you closer to him. his hands then took yours, pulling them together.

"y/n...i love you with every fiber of my being." he brought your knuckles to his plush lips, kissing them as his eyes worshiped you. "i swear that for the rest of my days, i will never hurt you. i will never break another rule, i'll never go out looking for trouble, and i'll never look at anyone else ever again." he kissed your wrists again. "please make me yours...and please be mine, y/n."

you had to admit, seeing sebastian sallow on his knees, begging for forgiveness, and giving you butterfly-soft kisses was making you weak in more ways than one.

"that's better." a smirk cracked through your serious expression, making him chuckle against your soft hands as he held them close. he kissed them once more before straightening his back to look down at you again.

"i'm so sorry, my love." he brushed the stray hairs out of your face and gently tilted your jaw to see your face better.

"i know. i am too."

[sntechsupport]

how does the "development" of a game like SBURB go in general? That is, it literally moves players to another reality and destroys entire civilizations, how can its "code" be changed?

and by the way, the question is also different: if you are the developers and technical support of the game, then... Who are you? In this case, you are even more powerful beings than the gods themselves in the game.

Answering this is not as trivial as it might seem, because since the start of my work on Sburb (as SkaiaNet called the game when we started making it) a lot of retroactive coding has been introduced it.

Initially we were developing the game for desktops, but they didn’t really… have the capacity to hold it. Since ~ATH code works with real-life conditions (especially nearby deaths), the logical step to “okay, let’s make the game play out in reality” is super obvious. Or at least it was to us. I think that at this point Glue, who worked on the inner codes, got the game infovirus.

Our first wave of testing was done by yours truly, I was one of the dedicated members of the testing team. I was there when the game was in 2D only. Test Sessions didn’t play the full game out, we looped and cloned one Incinisphere and changed its inner variables… Kind of like making a balloon animal, except instead of a balloon you use a bubble of existence.

The second testing wave was releasing the Sburb Alpha. That went… better than we expected, but much much worse than we anticipated. The “destroys the entire world” bit took us by surprise. We didn’t know how it was possible that the game released across countless timelines either. Granted, we didn’t want to be obliterated with the rest of the planet, so… We went down to the core code and instead of the game code we changed our code.

You see, ~ATH is amazing: It is a code that can describe anything. Even a living being. How it acts, what it looks like, how it reproduces… and how and if it exists. What we did was that we made SkaiaNet stop existing in those timelines in which Sburb destroyed our planet. We created a backup of those alternate selves we had there and merged them with “ours”.

I have (had) a lot of parallel memories. I am a lot of Gears, but ultimately I am just Gears. That delete-and-merge code is still active and it has eliminated me and our entire SkaiaNet to one singular instance.

And then it deleted that instance and made us literally not exist. We have always existed and yet never existed in the first place. Hence why time is sort of weird for us and we are on the wrong edge of the whole reality thing. Our SkaiaNet Headquarters is every single SN HQ that could have ever been (but of course, never was). I am every single Gear that could have been, but of course never was. A lot of those Gears could have never been born.

Currently at the HQ there are just 4 (I have absolutely no idea where Marketing Department is… and it is not my problem). All of us are infected with the game infovirus, so our placement is also a sort of a quarantine. Is the virus a computer virus or a disease-virus? Yes. When you think about it, there is no difference. It is a string of information that compels its host to replicate itself. It is now integrated into our own source code (and DNA). It has overwritten parts of code that are vital for people to remain, well, people. For example our death mechanic is ultimately broken. If we die, our bodies repair themselves, we get up and carry on. And that’s even if there is nothing left of the bodies.

The catch here is: The infovirus is the core-most line of the game itself. That’s it. The game wants to spread and exist… and so we work on it. We have to. We literally can’t stop. We can venture deep into the source code that allows us to manipulate the fundamentals of the game itself, I literally carry around brackets and spaces and backslashes and order the code physically around. Having the infovirus makes me part of the core source code, and makes it possible - I presume that without it the abstract strain would tear my consciousness apart, which is what happened to a couple of my colleagues.

So… Technically I suppose that the four of us are incredibly powerful and we have the capability alter the foundation of reality itself. But we can’t. Because it would make a shit game. And we can’t not make a bad game. We have to make the best game possible, one you’d play and suggest to your friends and family, one you’d play with your children and schoolmates.

Speaking of, I’ve procrastinated by answer this long enough, back to those giraffe-necked Prospitians.

Gear out.

[chemicallywrit]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! What a delightful and spooky Halloween week. As usual, this list is not comprehensive, but this is what stood out to me this week. Some spoilers ahead, in the shape of vibes~

🩸Hemophobia did NOT disappoint. My word. The strange disconnected way the story was told; the fact that the sermons were more coherent and clear than the action; the Extremely Teenage Teens. Man. I cannot wait to listen to this next episode.

🦀 THE SILT VERSES. Every day I think about Faulkner. The person he is. The apostle and the fool. Jeez louise. I can’t tell if he’ll save the faith or obliterate it and take everyone down with him. @thesiltverses

🌊 Modes of Thought In Anterran Literature - is that Felix Trench??? On the one hand, hearing a familiar voice does break the immersion a little, like the most unnerving part of this show is how real it feels; on the other hand, Felix did such a good job, the immersion break didn’t last long. This new character sucks, i love him.

👻 Palimpsest!!!! New palimpsest!!!! Easily one of my favorite single-narrator shows, and this one is set in the 1920s, which is one of my favorite historical periods. They’re also very good at a horrible subtle twist, so I can’t wait to hear more about this ghost.

😈 Kakos Industries is literally always good, but I really feel for Corin being like “PLEASE leave me alone on Halloween.” Man, this show is funny. Why isn’t it more popular. Please listen to Kakos Industries. They’re on hiatus, there’s no better time to catch up. @kakosindustries

🍔 Mayfair Watcher’s Society always knows how to get to me. It’s like, the absolute corruption of the Normal into something horrific and wretched is the point of the show, especially when it’s something you always suspected was messed up. Like a fast food job. I shudder.

🌲HALLOWOODS JEEZ. Mx Wellman did in fact try to kill me. I survived. I WISH SOME OTHER FOLKS HAD. @hellofromthehallowoods

❄️ Red Valley. Man alive. One of the things I love about this show is how there are no real heroes, but this season from the POV of the villains—the architects of the apocalypse, in a lot of ways. Creeps. It’s delicious. Today’s episode, watching Clive finally reaping what he sowed, was absolutely glorious. @redvalleypod

🦷 Welcome to Night Vale - HOBOY. Idk if the return of Kevin is going to be a plot point, but it’s the perfect idea for a Halloween ep. Chilling work as always, Kev! It’s also fun to listen to him seethe about his loss of power.

🅿️ Podcube is always a delightful treat, but this week had a fantastic little bit of sound design, which I’m told is this sound designer’s first attempt at such a thing. He did a great job! I love this show, everyone listen to PodCube. @podcube

👑 Malevolent: We’re Back To The Horrors. I’m honestly relieved. Arthur having friends and family is so scary, I keep waiting for something horrible to happen to them. And now something has! Which is not to say more terrible things won’t happen, but i feel like the other shoe has dropped. This is not a criticism at all, Harlan is so good at this.

🌞 I finished Fall of the House of Sunshine this week and…it made me cry? This goof goof show made me CRY? It really is just You Make Your Own Meaning The Musical, isn’t it? If this show had to have a moral, then “even if all you can do is something small, it matters” is a pretty good one. The fact that there was a moral at all is pretty miraculous. I’m going to go listen to the soundtrack a million times now.

🧛🏻‍♂️ Re: Dracula is coming to an end in just a few days and here is a secret: i haven’t heard these last few eps yet. Tal and Stephen finished working on them while I was in the thrall of New Job, so I get to hear their excellent sound work new with you. I am so excited for the final showdown, let’s GO. @re-dracula

🧟‍♀️ The Dead premiered this week! Go subscribe to it, it’s about to get REAL WEIRD. We did some table reads for the next story this weekend (and we have one more today!) and if you think zombies on a plane are scary…

Go check it out!

Now that all is well on the job front, I hope to get back to recording Inn Between soon, because I Want It To Exist. If you want to help us out or you just like what I got up to today, please drop by my ko-fi!

[cyberneticlagomorph]

A Goblin Market isn't for the faint of heart, especially not one this big.

Goblins of all shapes and sizes hawks their wares at the tops of their voices to be heard over the constant dull roar of conversations and objects clattering together; in addition to all of the sights and the smells to be had, both good and bad.

Thick and heady steam from the food vendors mixes with the dank animal musk of the livestock traders, the rank stench of leather tanning, and the sour bubbling of fermenting goods. It all swirls together with the perfumes and incense for sale until there is an absolutely snout obliterating miasma that settles over the market like a blanket.

Zeb gagged, clapping his hands over his nose and refusing to take a single step closer to the noisy, filthy menagerie of shops and stalls. His eyes were watering, stomach churning, suddenly dizzy with over stimulation he stumbled back to the entrance tunnel and half collapsed on the floor.

You rubbed his back gently as he took gulps of relatively clean air with all the ferocity of a drowning man fighting to keep his head above water.

"How... how are you not s-sick too?" He says, now lightheaded on top of being dizzy and everything else.

"Do you know how many diapers I've changed? How many number two's have destroyed my nose? How many buckets of animal crap I've had to scoop every day?" Your smile is wry. "You'll get used to it after awhile but here, this should help."

You hand him a wooden mask, grown not carved into the shape of a rabbit's face. It smells like summer days full of warm sun, cut grass, and chlorine choked pools.

"...what is it?" He shies away from the mask, eyes narrowed and suspicious. He can feel the raw magic curling off of it like smoke and he wants no part of it.

"It's a charm my mom made, it should help with the overstim some, it won't hurt you I promise." You rub your thumb over the mask's cheek where the wood has gone smooth and shiny from too much loving, there are tear tracks burnt into it, where acid tears ate away at the still living wood.

"...do I have to wear it?" Zeb takes the mask, gingerly as if afraid it would grow teeth and bite him.

"No, I just thought it might help." You stand up and dust yourself off. "If this place is too much I could just zap us home if you like, I don't wanna stress you out."

"N-no!" Zeb cries out, you flinch at his outburst and watch him flinch back in sympathy. His eyes sweep across the market with the same wonder and joy you've seen a million million times but will never tire of. "I... I'll wear it, we're here to get stuff for Egg and Null right? I wanna get them stuff too, so I can say I'm sorry."

He puts the mask on, and it fits like it was made for him, like a new skin almost. The effect is immediate, everything around him is suddenly sharper, brighter, clearer.

Muddled scents straighten out, becoming singular and defined.

Sounds do too, what was once an unruly chorus has become... not a song, but something similar, each voice rings out on its own in perfect clarity.

Zeb looks you in the eyes and for the first time he Sees what coils there in their depths, he does not flinch, but you can feel his sadness and concern.

"Whatcha standin' around for?" Tigger asks as he bounces up to the pair of you, his arms already full of assorted trinkets. "C'mon c'mon c'mon we're burning presh-ee-us daylight!" He grabs Zeb by the hand and tries to tug the boy to his feet.

"Ok ok!" Zeb giggles, actually giggles, as he stands up.

Tigger grins, bouncing and bounding in circles around you before picking any direction at all and racing off to do more shoppin'

"C'mon," You say, offering Zeb your hand again. "We better catch up before he buys something weird."

The boy still hesitates to touch you, but he holds on so tight like he's afraid you'll just disappear.

[notmuchtoconceal]

joey and jacek have different mothers. joey and jacek's mothers, the relationship between them is not dissimilar, in the mechanisms of their entanglement, from joey and jacek themselves, though their separation is total and their point of origin now disparate, for only one may be isolated. one may be purged.

. / . o 0 O 0 o . \ .

-i gave him every opportunity. i gave him the bare minimum which is all any mother should ever be asked to give. i gave him the bare minimum, and that boy made so much of himself because i was smart enough to stay out of his way. you know, some mothers, they never devote a single thought to their son's well-being, but nevertheless like to play at being the perfect mother while company is around; attend school functions and put on a brave face, gritting all the while through their painted grimaces, and in some small dark corner of their hearts deluding themselves into thinking they could truly love the beast which festered inside them for nine months, kicking and tugging, weighing you down and crushing your knees, needed to be excised like a tumor after a prolonged duration of crippling agony which left the very foundations of their bodies shattered and broken. it's the sort of offense which no woman, particularly one with no want to be in want of anything, could possibly forgive, and to even humor the possibility that forgiveness is possible would be an outrage against decency and imagination. he was always such a smart boy, we always had such an understanding. i always let him know how it was, and i never lead him on, never let him think he could expect more, always made it very clear that he was absolutely on his own, and this was the greatest gift, for i knew damn well i could never love him, never care for him, never nurture his prodigious, fanciful, ingrateful and irritating mind in the way it needed, for quite simply i have had so little love put in me, you can't blame me for playing to my strengths and letting him develop his. he would be worse off in every way if i had tried to be there, knowing i couldn't, tried to help him knowing i could only harm, prioritizing my own needs to be wanted and cared for myself, giving him care in such a way that he couldn't help but prioritize me. i know damn-well all the ways i am manipulative by nature, an absolute mastermind of flattering, beguilement, treachery, ruin, and i spared him the overwhelming majority of it by always playing it curt, always playing it straight -- never capitalizing on his popularity, his victories, his academic, personal or artistic success in any way which would allow me to flatter myself as his patron or ingratiate myself into his circle. i gave him the bare minimum -- of a residence, sustenance and the time and lack of attention to develop himself in opposition purely to the deafening nothingness which threatened to obliterate him. a boy doesn't have to understand. he should know by now how damn loveless i am, being quite so loveless himself, i wish! he has that horrid little suck who loves him to death. that strapping gallant beast of a man who's service he's placed himself in. that cheeky and dreadful, far more charming than he has any right to be, cpt. haruspex, who really would be so much of a better influence on him if he would only get his head out of the clouds and make him. he's surrounded by men who love him and men he loves. what has he to hold me in any contempt for? it's not as though he in any way desires a woman, i can assure you i saw to that myself!

[starkey]

so many otherwise chill people post the most un-informed, wildly anti-vegan takes On Here (and I have unfollowed many people because of it) that I had a moment of panic about that pleather post before the reading comprehension set in.

Omg yeah it’s crazy! My theory is that it’s because (a) this website is mostly Americans, who have the highest meat consumption per person in the world (almost 100kg of meat a year… in the uk it’s almost half that) and (b) a lot of people on tumblr engage with left wing politics in a very identity-politic us-centric way, which means they understand homophobia and racism to an almost academic level but apparently completely lack any political understanding of the environmental catastrophe we have on our door steps. (Gonna go on a Massive Rant now sorry, I just finished A Life On Our Planet and I’m filled with miserable rage)

Like… I decided when I was 15 that if I wasn’t willing to literally kill an animal myself for the sake of a meal, then the ethics of offloading that action onto someone else (likely someone financially vulnerable enough to have a slaughterhouse job in the first place, with the high amount of trauma, injury and burnout we know that generates) then I simply should not eat animals. I wouldn’t kill a dog, I wouldn’t kill a cow, why would I eat a hamburger? It just never made intuitive sense to me.

That is, at heart, an opinion though and if someone simply doesn’t care that animals have to die for them to eat a McDonald’s burger then that’s difficult to argue with. I can still advocate for animal rights, the same way I argue for human rights, but at the end of the day it’s just “I don’t know how to explain to you that you should care about (people) sentient creatures”.

But! The evidence of the meat industry’s effects on the environment are undeniable. To deny them is to be on par with a climate change denier or a flat earther - it’s a persistent and self-indulgent disregard for raw facts. Meat production is one of the single most significant drivers of climate change - equivalent to every form of transport used in the entire world. It requires an unfathomable amount of deforestation (every minute seven football fields of rainforest are cut down for cattle farming - even nice little benign local farms feed their cows on huge volumes of crops grown on deforested land).

That deforestation releases carbon stores that have sat there for millions of years, and we’re rapidly reaching the tipping point of forest death where the Amazon will simply die because after a certain point the rainfall will lesson and the irrigation will fail. This further exacerbates climate change, which causes more forest fires, which destroys more carbon stores and biodiversity. It’s also the cause of more water pollution than every other industry combined. We’re talking catastrophic destruction of local and indigenous species and a monumental loss of biodiversity. Between human beings as a species and the animals that are our domesticated livestock, only 4% of the species left alive today are wild mammals, and only 4% are wild birds. 60% of the biomass of the planet is animals we eat.

We’ve also overfished to the point that we’ve all but destroyed most of the large ocean ecosystems. In the last 55 years 90% of the large ocean predators have been made extinct. We’re on track for the fishing industry to be literally wiped out by 2048!!! How many livelihoods will be lost then? How much of the biodiversity of the oceans will be obliterated?? There are ways to fix this!!

Like… we stand upon the brink!! The absolute precipice of environmental disaster. And Americans who are used to living in a fascist ultra-right-wing police state (which resembles no other western democracy in politics or culture) somehow have the rest of the English speaking millennial/gen z woke online population convinced that there is absolutely nothing we can do to avert it. But like… if you eat a plant based diet you release 1.5 tons of carbon dioxide a year less into the atmosphere than someone who eats meat!! We need to rewild our natural ecosystems, return land to indigenous populations (who already manage their own land sustainably), stop fishing in international waters, invest in renewable energy sources, stop subsiding the meat industry and paying them public money to destroy the environment. AND WE NEED TO EAT MUCH MUCH LESS MEAT!! We do! We need to! If we don’t the planet will literally burn to the fucking ground! I know going vegan is hard! I also very much like cheese! But living in a post apocalyptic wasteland will undoubtably be a lot harder!

So yeah, going online and seeing some American who by their own admission didn’t learn about other countries until the 10th grade talk about how leather is really good for the environment, actually, well… it is detrimental to my inner calm.

[adragoncalledcat]

Alright, enough of things from *insert place* that would put other people in a coma; here’s things that I interact with every day that would kill a high value alpha male on site:

The tv show willow: honestly I think they would watch the first episode, see Kit and Jade kiss, and then immediately perish. The vibes of the this show are too queer and powerful for their small minds

Rock climbing: now you would like a high value alpha male would be good at rock climbing since they all never shut up about how strong they are, but let me tell you something. I’ve been a climber for years, and there is so much technique involved; not just with your climbing movements, but all of the different types of hand holds as well. They would go into it so cocky and arrogant and get absolutely demolished.

Therapy: I mean, no explanation needed, we all know what will happen.

My fashion professor: listen, I love this woman with all of my heart she is the single most intense person I’ve ever met. this 5’3”, 65 year old is an absolute force, she would humble an alpha male so quickly

Foolish_gamers: if you don’t know who this is, foolish he’s a variety streamer on twitch. I’ve been watching him for a few years now, and for reference this is what he looks like

Yeah. Now, I know what you’re thinking, how could this insanely gorgeous person defeat a high value alpha male? Well, I’ll tell you how. foolish dresses like such a frat boy, and also works out a lot, so an alpha male would immediately like him. but upon finding out he’s the kindest, sweetest person ever that also listens to/respects women like a motherfucker they couldn’t handle it. He’s also an absolute nerd that plays Minecraft/valorant all day, he is quite literally their worst enemy.

A single interaction with Brennan lee mulligan: I mean this with my whole heart Brennan would take one look at Andrew tate and just utterly obliterate him with the most elegantly crafted improvised monologue you’ve ever heard. He’s also a native New Yorker so he can also cuss them out just as easily.

[capitalism-is-a-psychopathy]

Amazon Strikes Again: Cutting Jobs in the Gaming Industry

Oh great, just what we needed! Another company doing their part to obliterate jobs in the gaming industry. But this time, it's Amazon taking the glorious stage. How original. Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love when companies come in and demonstrate their creativity in slashing jobs left and right. Who needs job security, am I right? So here's the deal. Amazon, the one-stop-shop for all your online shopping needs, has decided to expand their empire and swallow up the gaming industry. Because, why not? They clearly don't have enough going on already. And what better way to make their mark than by cutting jobs? It's like a rite of passage for any self-respecting corporation these days. I mean, who needs passionate, knowledgeable professionals when you can just replace them with soulless robots, right? But hey, let's try to look at the bright side. At least Amazon didn't stop at just one round of layoffs. Oh no, they went all out and executed multiple rounds. Talk about dedication! Now, I know what you're thinking – it's understandable! Companies have to make tough decisions to survive and all that jazz. But come on, let's be real. We all know it's the shareholders' pockets that really matter. Who cares about the hardworking individuals who poured their hearts and souls into making those games? Not Amazon, that's for sure. But don't worry, my fellow gamers. Amazon's got your back! They'll gladly sell you those newly released games with their lightning-fast shipping. You know, the games that were developed by people who are now unemployed thanks to Amazon's brilliant strategic maneuvers. So let's raise a glass to Amazon, the latest champion on the battlefield of job eradication in the gaming industry. Stay tuned for their next incredible move – maybe they'll pioneer a way to replace every single employee with a drone. It's what the world needs, after all. Based on https://bbc.in/3MMKK7R

[msunitedstatesjames]

So, I’m playing through Dragon Age 2 for the first time, and you just kind of have to love the midnight street gangs that mob every inch of available street/roof space in Kirkwall as soon as the sun sets every night. These are truly the bravest and stupidest individuals in all of Kirkwall. Every time I see a gang now I kind of just want to applaud them before Hawke & Co. inevitably destroy them.

I mean, especially by Act 3, everyone knows Hawke by sight, and they still don’t even hesitate to immediately jump her/him every time she/he rounds a bend at night.

They’re just like, “Yup, we can take down the person who took out the Arishok in single combat.”

And then there’s the fact that Hawke is basically never seen without a posse of other absolute badasses. Any gang that tries to corner her/him has to figure that in addition to the Champion they’ll have to take on at least 3 of the following:

-A bloodmage

-An apostate who is clearly possessed

-A pirate captain

-A vengeful prince

-a Mabari

-the captain of the city guard

-An angry elf with lyrium powers who’s just looking for any excuse to rip out some more hearts

-A dwarf with a crossbow who will definitely make you all look like chumps when he tells everyone in Kirkwall about how easily the Champion wiped the floor with your whole crew

And that’s not even taking into account the fact that the Champion’s entourage has completely obliterated mobs of Qunari, blood mages, templars, dragons, darkspawn, and, by Act 3, at least six other gangs.

These gang leaders have gotta be like, “Yeah, if we just get like 20 of our most generic grunts in there, maybe throw in one mage or like a handful of Mabari, we should be good. Some of you guys could maybe jump from the roof midway through the fight. Just try not to break your legs when you land because then you’re definitely gonna be easy fodder for heart ripping. Anyway, good luck.”

[jarofstyles]

neighbourry part two please!!! pretty please!! 🍒🍒🍒

Hehehe… here we go.

It’s pretty👀 even without true smut.

If you like this, check out our Patreon!

—-

“Kiss?”

Y/N looked at Harry with slightly wider eyes, confusion in them. He wanted to kiss her? Spend time kissing her? In general? What rhe fuck was this dream mixed with nightmare rain?

He couldn’t back down now. He swallowed, nodding and keeping his face calm. “I- yeah. Kissing. Can be fun… and not let ya focus on the rain. Y’know?” He trailed his fingers over her jawline, watching her face carefully. He wasn’t going to push. If she didn’t want to, he would take the rejection and feel embarrassed about it later. But he had to make some sort of move.

He had been a little bitch about it for years and he knew that it was a bit fucked up of him for wanting it this badly and not being fully transparent but he hoped he wasn’t alone in that.

“It wouldn’t be weird?” She felt her heart pounding in her chest at the idea. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to- of course she fucking wanted to. Have you seen his mouth? She had been aching to do that for years. But it spooked her. It really did.

They’d been close since they were younger. Being close wasn’t exactly a new or unusual thing at all. In fact, the pair seemed to gravitate towards one another every time they got the chance. Their parents saw it, their friends saw it, and it was often teased that they’d end up together. But it dawned on her that Harry never really denied it. Simply rolled his eyes or smirked when Y/N would huff.

Harry’s eyes didn’t leave her face as he carefully examined her expression. He knew her so very well, and her emotions were always very much evident on her face when she did have a thought. Simply from the shock alone, he didn’t pull back and let her work through the thoughts. She didn’t hate the idea, she didn’t truly recoil, but it obviously made her blink a few times as it settled in.

“No. Why would it be?” He whispered, grazing his fingertips back over her chin. Keeping himself calm was the best thing he could do despite the thundering in his chest. This was something that could change them but… he didn’t want to think about it right now. He wanted to kiss her.

“I don’t want to make things weird, H.” She whispered, fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. Her eyes avoided his for a moment before looking back up at him with a soft little pout. “It’s not that I don’t want to but what about-“ she was cut off with his thumb pressed to her lip, eyes widening as they crossed to see his finger and then back to his.

“So you do?” He confirmed. His own breathing was a tiny bit heavier as he watched her nod, a tiny smile rising the corners of his mouth. She didn’t make an attempt to move his finger, staying still with the exception of her fingers toying with the worn collar of his shirt.

So she wanted this.

“It doesn’t have to be weird, angel.” His thumb gently pulled her bottom lip, dragging it down just a little bit. It was so warm and soft, beautiful fucking mouth that he spent time thinking about. Much too long thinking of for a best friend. He knew that much.

“We can just… have fun. Y’know? We don’t have to make it a huge deal…” it was. It was a huge deal and he knew it but they both wanted it and she found herself nodding again.

Another rumble of thunder made her tense, pushing herself further to him. She fucking hated storms, but loved that she got an excuse to be all over him like this. Got to have his hands on her… and now he was offering kisses.

“Okay. Okay- yeah. I want to.” Her voice was tender with the tiniest bit of fear but true desire. Their faces had gotten closer as Harry decided not to rush into it. With the thunder rumbling, he hushed her and gently nudged her nose with his own as his hand finally finished its tracing work and held the side of her face.

“Shh. S’alright. Just focus on me.” He cooed. “S’gonna be good. Yeah? Kissing is fun, isn’t it?” He didn’t wait for her to reply before pressing his lips to the very corner of her own. His body was buzzing as he pulled back just enough to speak. “Just relax for me. M’always gonna take care of you. Always have, always will.” He pressed a slower kiss to the same spot, smiling lightly when he felt her exhale slowly.

“Yeah… I know.” She sighed, body burning with an unusual warmth. The spot he had kissed felt like a new mark. Surely she shouldn’t be reacting to such chaste kisses with the heat she felt swelling deep in her belly? Then again, the lingering tension the two had was always going to come to a boil. It was inevitable.

“How’s that?” He asked, moving to kiss the girls cheek. “Can I fully kiss you yet, angel?” Waiting for permission was a bit more nerve wracking than he thought, but he was pleasantly surprised with how quickly she nodded, their noses bumping again.

“Good. Jus… do what you want. I’ll distract you.”

Their breaths mingled as they paused, his face closer to hers than it had ever been. The anticipation was killing her. It seemed like hours as he descended his lips, pressing them fully to her own.

It was like everything else melted away. Y/N feeling his soft, slightly chapped lips pressed against hers for a few moments before pulling back for a single moment, going right back to her. It was gentle. Tender. Sweet. His kisses smoothing over her lips as his fingers held her cheek as if she was the most precious thing to him.

They stayed like this, repeating the actions over and over. Y/N let him be in control but puckered her lips to meet his. Her fingers tugged lightly on his shirt, feeling like she wanted to be closer to him. As if this wasn’t good enough.

He did the opposite, pulling back from their embrace for a moment, smiling lightly when a tiny little whimper from their loss of his lips came from her own. Y/N opened her eyes, a little dazed as she looked at his green eyes. They were different. Darker, maybe.

“Still good, sweetheart?” His words were whispered, barely there. Her fingers tugged him closer again as she nodded, this time gaining a little confidence and pulling him back towards her.

Harry was a little shocked but eagerly went back at it. His mouth connecting with hers again, soft sounds of their lips embracing over and over again filling the room. Whatever show was on in the background and the rain was hitting the windows and roof, but the most perfect noises came from their kisses. They got a little deeper, spit slicking their swollen lips as Harry gently lifted himself up a bit and gave a better angle for them to continue.

The taste of sweet mint and his sugary soda he had sipped on the way here coated his lips. She could only barely taste it but Y/N found herself itching for more. His hands were so respectful, laying under her cheek and the other over her arm, roaming up and down. She didn’t have a ton of experience with kissing or making out- that was more Harry’s area of expertise, so she felt a little embarrassed- but he was a very good teacher.

Feeling her frustrations, Harry shuffled a little bit closer and moved the hair from her face, taking the hand from her arm and laid it on the side of her neck. His thumb was sneaky, rolling over the pulse point to find out what she liked. None of his past kisses or ventures ever made him feel this… odd. In a good way.

“Can y’open up a little for me, angel? S’that something you’re alright with?” Her eyes didn’t open at his words, merely nodding again quickly as she surged forward and kissed him again. It spooked him for a second but ultimately? turned him on a little. Obviously, she was enjoying this just as much as he was.

Her hands decided to be brave, hesitantly moving to his hair and pushing it back. Her fingers carded through it, ever so gently tugging by accident. It went straight to his cock.

Harry grunted, the action making his half stiffy pulse. How she managed to get him to be so… needy during just the beginning of some kisses was unreal. That was y/N though. She managed to exceed all his expectations he ever had for women. It’s just the first time he had gotten to be around her the way he wanted.

“Sorry!” She squeaked, pulling back from their kiss. Their lips were slightly sticky with whatever leftover gloss she had- watermelon, he knew- and their spit, eyes widening af the throaty noise her best friend had let out. Harry didn’t let her get too far though, tugging her right back into a harder kiss. Fuller. His teeth grabbed her bottom lip, nibbling on it a little bit as his hand pulled her closer to his face while he tugged lightly on it.

“Don’t apologize.” He panted. “Felt a bit too good.” Harry was always affectionate with her. He made dirty jokes and they would joke around about sex, but actually… hearing one of those noises? Knowing what he liked? It felt so odd. “But maybe… don’t do tha’ today. Cause m’Gonna get all worked up, and we jus’ Wanna kiss a little.” He nosed at her like a puppy, pecking her swollen lips. “Right?”

If she wanted more… he would ever, ever say no. That would change a lot, but he wasn’t going to say no to it. He wanted her, damn it.

“Jus’ kissing, H.” She promised, returning to her position close to him. Their kissing was paused, his necklace chain taken in her hand as she played with it. It was a comfortable silence, Y/N tucking her head into the crook of her neck. Her panties were wrecked. Absolutely obliterated. If he even spread her legs, he could probably taste it in the air. It was a little embarrassing but more so frustrating. Her poor cunt was aching for some touch that wouldn’t come until Harry was sound asleep and she could get to the bathroom.

“Okay.” He settled back in, taking this as a break in their activity. His mind was fucking reeling though. Did she like it? Did she ever want more? Did she feel the same as him, hungry to touches and just as needy? He thinks he didn’t read it wrong. Surely she wouldn’t be laying like this and cuddle him if she didn’t. “Did you….” He paused to swallowed, looking up at the ceiling. “Did you like it? Was good, right?” His nerves were getting the best of him though. He so desperately wanted to do it again. To have permission fo do it whenever.

“Mhm.” She nodded against his warm chest, stretching her leg over his thigh. “I did. I… I want to do more of it, maybe. Just need a breathing break.” Her voice was delicate and a little raspy, making him melt. She didn’t seem upset or hesitant. Just a little… effected.

“Can do as much as you want. Got the whole night… but I did get you some food. Need to eat.” He tucked some hair behind her ear, allowing himself to kiss the side of her temple. It was allowed. Right? He thinks so.

“M’kay. Will eat but… this stuff… kissing…” she brought it up again. “Is it just for tonight?”

Boom. The question that was on her mind. Harry froze for a second, hoping he hadn’t read it wrong. Her tone didn’t indicate either way, and he took a breath before replying honestly.

“No. If you want to like…‘do it more than today? We can. We can do as much as you’d like… as often as you’d like.” He tried to calm himself so she didn’t feel his heart go harder. “I liked it a lot. Would be a little sad if we only did it once.”

Despite how unclear it was for their feelings, he thinks this may be a good gateway. Getting them closer to the spot he hopes to get to. Her smile could be felt growing against his thin shirt before she pulled up, initiating another longer kiss that had his fucking head spinning.

She was so good at that.

“Okay. Youre Gonna have to be patient with me though.” Her gaze through her lashes made him want to groan again. “Haven’t had nearly as much experience as you do.”

Selfishly? He was glad. His kisses didn’t mean Jack shit compared fo what this was. This? This was a dream.

“Good. I’ll give you whatever you want… teach you whatever you want to know. You’re always callin’ me your ‘simp’ or whatever. Guess I am.”

Her giggle lifted his heart, making his own dimples break out of a smile as he leaned back over and pecked her cheek. “Enough of that.” The thunder wasn’t done yet, but he noticed she hadn’t even flinched. Was that him?

“Alright. Then why don’t you show me how to kiss better?” As if she needed the help.

[furiousgoldfish]

Learning more about trauma recovery, I realized that even if we all have similar cptsd symptoms (emotional flashbacks, inner shame and guilt, abandonment issues, fear of other's negative reactions to us, fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, highly anxious behaviour, perfectionism, catastrophizing, chronic exhaustion and pain, panic attacks, struggle expressing anger, dissociation, grief, negative thinking, fear of the future, hopelessness, suicidal ideation) it's usually one or two of them that are specifically strong and tako a hold of someone's entire personality. For instance, someone will try to find a way out of fear by constantly doing more and more and try to always be perfect, another one will freeze and do nothing in a stressful situation; some will avoid people altogether, some will run from one painful relationship to another. Some might find their inner critic so powerful they get unable to do anything due to the constant shame and berating from inside of their head, and some will sink into dissociation and numbness in order to withstand being alive.

For me, it was the inner catastrophizer that was so loud, overbearing, and impossible to fight; I hadn't recognized it as a trauma symptom because I believed every bit of it was true. My imagined catastrophe was dying from lack of resources, or being tortured to death. Both felt like a very likely scenarios to happen because I do live in poverty, with minimal resources, and I've already experienced torture so it seemed like it's highly possible for it to happen again. I couldn't see that I've survived years on my own, without any help, and that I've became more resourceful than most people, or that I had saved myself from torture and kept myself safe. Every single time a minor stress would appear, I would spiral into wild scenarios of myself homeless, dying, or in unbearable pain. It would trigger a nervous breakdown, lots of flashbacks, panic attacks, and bring me to such highly anxious state I wouldn't be able to move for days. I didn't see a way out of this, I believed I was brainwashed to experience this over and over again, and panicked severely when it started getting worse.

It was only when I found out about other survivors having the exact same imagined catastrophy, I was able to see it was fake. People with jobs, friends, family, loved ones, resources and safety, were having the exact same fear of dying homeless. Circumstances don't matter to the catastrophizer, it will find a path to your worst, most painful scenario even if it's next to impossible for it to happen.

Reading the 'Complex PTSD' book, I learned that these catastrophic thoughts can and should be de-escalated and stopped in their tracks by a stream of logical, factual thoughts that challenge the unlikeliness and fakeness of the imaginary disaster. I trained my mind to do it immediately, unspeakably relieved to know it's something I can do on my own, it's do-able, it's progress I can make just by arguing with my own thoughts!

Ever since that day, I haven't allowed myself to spiral into a catastrophic thoughts once, and it's done wonders for my recovery. It was like dragging myself from the bottom of the pit to a place where I could breathe again. I only now acknowledge how extremely damaging it was on my body to be broken down like that regularly, how impossible it was to live always followed by that terror, how unreasonable it was to expect from myself to endure it. I still break down a lot, but from grief, which is healthy for me to break down about, and it doesn't throw me into a paralyzing pit of terror.

I also need to acknowledge that this is not something I'd be able to do at the beginning of the recovery; at the start I had every single symptom screaming in my face, it was all I could do to stay alive thru it all. Over the course of several years, a lot of the symptoms quieted down on their own, just because I was getting used to life in a non-abusive environment. The catastrophizer was one that kept getting bigger and more stressful as others got smaller and more manageable.

I believe most of my symptoms died down because I was allowing myself to seek out a comfort zone; giving myself a place to feel safe and not triggered by whatever, gave me a lot of peace, a refuge to hide in. After finding a little peace of the world I was safe in, this world began to expand, until I saw a way to have a life in it. It has its limits, of course, and if I try doing certain things I will absolutely get triggered and my well-being will be obliterated. But I'm not looking for a life where I can do everything. Only to stay alive, and to not be in terror. It's a humble yet very complicated desire for a traumatized person to have.

I no longer have to actively stop my catastrophic thoughts; my brain now does it for me. If I start spiraling, a voice in my head will go 'Wait a minute, that doesn't sounds realistic, isn't it more likely x will happen and it will be okay? Come on, you don't have to be terrified about this, because it's not real. It will be okay, and here's every single instance where a similar event went well for you. You will pull thru this one, and even if you don't, the consequence won't be death, or torture, or everyone alive hating you. At worst you will feel slightly bad, so it's okay to feel good now. You've done a lot to get this far. All will be well.'

And that is a very pleasant inner voice to have, and I am grateful for it. I wish so badly that I had this earlier in life, but I guess looking at my parents, there was no way.

What is your worst reoccurring symptom that stops you from progressing in your recovery? If you feel like you're at the stage where you can recognize it and talk about it, it would be beneficial for everyone recovering to read more experiences.

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

[ragingbookdragon]

Raise Hell And High-Waters

Lanternfamily x Reader One-Shot

Word Count: 1.2K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: Based on the ask about Batman trying to adopt the little scrappy Lanternkid! Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Hal set the kid down on the couch in the lounge, setting their Justice League backpack beside them. They immediately busied themselves pulling out the game console, switching it on as they cocked their legs up on the cushions, slinking down until their chin was in their chest, head bent up against the arm of the sofa.

“You gonna be okay right here?” he inquired.

“Mhm,” they hummed, pressing the buttons until the music flowed through the speakers.

Hal nodded, then reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet; he flicked it open and tugged out some money, setting it in the cup holder of their backpack. “Here’s ten ones, okay? The vending machines are over there, get a snack and a drink if you want it.”

“Can I get a soda?”

“No sodas after eight.” He announced, like a parent, hands even cocked on his hips.

“Loser,” they griped, then looked at him. “Do they have flavored waters?”

“Any kind you can dream of kid,” he reached down and ruffled their hair. “Look, the meeting was last minute, and I wouldn’t’ve brought you if I could’ve found a babysitter in time.” He smiled halfheartedly. “I should only be gone an hour and a half, okay?”

They smiled. “Can we go to the movies after this?”

Hal’s face pinched. “Jesus kid, you really wanna see that midnight showing, don’t you?”

“Well, the child actor in the movie is like me,” they theorized. “Super smart way above their classmates’ levels.” Shooting them a bored stare, they said, “If you weren’t home-schooling me, I’d be a college graduate by now.”

He rolled his eyes and ruffled their hair again. “I gotta go. Don’t move,” he warned. “I’m serious. Stay right here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He gave them one last look, then hurried off down the hallway.

***

It’d been an hour or so before they’d heard any movement, but when they did, it was above their head, brushing over the back of the couch. Hal had told them the Watchtower was completely safe, so they didn’t immediately panic. Whoever or whatever it was, was friendly.

“What are you playing?” The person—a man by the low gravel of their voice—asked.

“The new Pokémon game,” they murmured. “It’s easy compared to the other games.”

“How far back through them have you played?”

They pursed their lips, thinking for a moment. “Uncle Barry had his Game Boy and the original Red and Blue still in their cases.” Holding up the console, they said, “Hal bought me the Switch and Pokémon Sword and Shield the other weekend.”

“How do you like the newest games compared to the oldest ones?”

“They’re easier, built for a fun rather than a competitive, skilled mode.” They grinned as they caught a Lucario. “I haven’t lost a single battle since I started playing last week. Honestly, the last Pokémon games that actually made me try were HeartGold and SoulSilver.” Letting out a bored, ‘pfft’, they added, “Every game after that is all about building up a dream team and completely obliterating every opponent.”

“What’s your dream team?” they asked.

“Aurorus, Charizard, Gardevoir, Greninja, Lapras, and Lucario.” They shrugged. “I substitute Lapras out for Talonflame or Yveltal from time to time.”

“How do you play?”

“Offensively. I build up my teams stats then just take things head on.”

“No moves that boost defense?”

“Players that focus on stat moves are losers. Play hard to win or don’t play at all,” they griped, finally turning to look at the mystery man. “You’re Batman.”

He peered at them through his white cowl. “I am.”

“Why do you know so much about Pokémon?” they inquired. “You’re awfully knowledgeable for a grown man who takes down supervillains.”

Nodding, he replied, “My third son loves the games. He’d probably get the crap knocked out of his team by yours.”

They grinned. “Lemme guess, he focuses on stat moves?”

“Mhm.”

“Loser,” they snorted.

Suddenly, Batman looked rather serious. “Why are you out here all alone?”

“Hal had a meeting and couldn’t find a babysitter. The other guys were busy too.”

“They take care of you as well?”

“Yeah. I stay with Hal or John when they’re on earth, Hal mostly. Kyle and Guy keep an eye on my when I’m on Oa.”

“You’ve been to Oa?”

“A few times. Weird place. Weirder aliens and people.”

“What about school?”

“Hal home-schools me.”

“How come?” he questioned, watching them trample another player.

“I’m really smart. Like Einstein genius smart.” They shrugged. “Hal said it’d be easier to avoid attention if we home-school me.”

“Do you like it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not growing up around kids your own age. You’re by yourself a lot.”

“I was on the streets before Kyle found me,” they retorted. “I’m used to being on my own. And besides, kids my age are annoying. They’re still stuck in the play stage of development and I’m in the ask really inquisitive questions and solve impossible physics problems stage.”

Batman chuckled. “You’re pretty smart then, yeah?”

“Yeah.” They shut off their Switch and shoved it in their backpack. “Hal and the others can’t keep up.”

Getting off the sofa, they wandered over to the vending machines, sure that Batman was following them. They tried to reach the number pad, but couldn’t, frowning as they turned to him and held their arms up.

“Help me.”

He bent down and lifted them, letting them press the buttons; when they were finished, he didn’t set them down, merely carried them as they opened the chip bag and snacked. They were apparently content to lean onto his shoulder, head tucked under his chin. Batman gently rocked them, as he walked around, and soon they felt their eyelids falling shut.

***

“—ere are they!”

They awoke to shouting, startled by the sound of Hal’s panicked and scared voice. Batman’s hand touched their side. “It’s okay.”

“Hal’s worried,” they murmured, eyes droopy, tone sleep laced.

“Kid!” Hal’s voice was close now, then they were being yanked out of Batman’s arms and into the Green Lantern’s, life practically squeezed out of them. “Holy shit, you scared the hell out of me.”

“They were fine,” Batman sighed. “I had them.”

“I’m not talking to you!” Hal griped. “You okay?”

“Can’t—breathe—” they gasped and immediately his arms loosened, letting them inhale deeply. “‘M fine.”

“Come on, I’ve got your backpack. Let’s go home.”

As they walked off, Batman’s voice reached them. “You need to enroll them in a school that’ll let them grow and mature with other kids their age.”

Hal spun, fire in his voice as he snapped, “Don’t tell me how to raise my kid.”

When they turned the corner and walked to the Zeta tubes, they asked, “Do you mean that?”

“Mean what?” Hal asked.

“That I’m your kid?”

Their voice sounded so far, so lost, so…afraid. Afraid of hope, afraid of love, afraid of another parent leaving them on the streets, turning their back on them like all the rest did before.

Hal pulled back so he could stare at them, and he took their small chin in his hand, affirming, “Absolutely.” His eyes were serious but still warm. “You’re my kid and you always will be. And if anyone, and I mean anyone, tried to take you from me…I’d raise hell and so would your uncles to keep you with us.”

Tears flooded their eyes and they sniffed, burying their face in Hal’s neck.

He smiled, gently petting the back of their head. “I love you, kid.”