#and they believe they can reality shift which. I don’t believe in. but I’m not going to be an ass and tell them that because they’re clearl

[badolmen]

Some of you will not enjoy your leftist utopia because you can’t let people believe in harmless things that you personally don’t believe in.

[orikiys]

✿ ✿ 〞arguements with skz

✰ pairings :  ot8!skz x gn!reader

✰ genre : angst

✰ warnings :  heavy angst, mentions of toxic behavior in some, misunderstandings, failing to communicate

✰ word count :   2.7k + words

part 2

౨₊ৎ chan

"why are you so angry about all this?"

“you’re seriously asking me that?” his brows raised in disbelief as he spoke.

this what you two had been dealing with lately. unnecessary fights and constant bickering over anything. even today, a weekend, which chan called his ‘golden day’ , you two were yelling across the room.

“yes i am. and i’ll keep asking till you stop acting petty,” you looked him dead in the eye now. your faces were edging closer and closer to his, a defiant glare sparkling in your eyes. chan glared back, but he looked away as quickly, not being able to look at you when you two were fighting. he was used to the warm and admiring gazes, but not these sharp and angry stares. it made his stomach churn with the thought, what if you both got tired of fighting one day?

“if you’re not going to open your mouth no one will be sleeping tonight,” your voice snaps him back to reality, he silently stares at the floor with his head hung low.

“you know i hate him, don't you? i’ve told this story to you like a thousand times already and yet you still talked to him! do you think that’s fair?” he raised his voice and immediately regretted it. but there was no taking it back now. words can only be taken back in laptops or phones, not in real life.

“i just talked to him for barely even two minutes, chan! you’re being ridiculous at this point. do you think this is fair?” you cock your eyebrow at him, not hesitating to raise your voice as well since he walked down that path first.

“it doesn’t matter how long you talked, the point is you talked even after knowing our rough past. it’s almost like you don’t care about me or my feelings anymore! you’ve changed. you’ve become. . . selfish,” ouch. that had to hurt. and chan noticed the way your eyes instantly dulled. he licked his lower lip anxiously and watched as your frown deepened.

there were no further words uttered from your side which made him realise just how far he went, “babe. . . i- sorry,” the words were stuck in his throat and he could practically feel the tears building in his eyes as you took a shaky breath. he took a step closer and raised his hand to touch your face, but you avoided that and walked away.

maybe it was selfish indeed. or maybe not, he wished to not answer that as he sat on the couch and dragged a hand across his face filled with guilt. and as he stared at the hallway where you walked out, he could only hope to turn back the time and undo his mistake. but for now, he needed to wait. or fight for you.

౨₊ৎ minho

minho let out a frustrated groan when he felt the couch dip beside him. he threw a mere glance, before opening his laptop and typing something. it was unusual of him to act this frustrated and even when you tried to talk to him he glared in your way.

“i understand you’re having a bad day but it doesn’t mean that you can act however you want,” you muttered and scooted away from him before crossing your arms over your chest.

“then simply don’t understand,” he muttered nonchalantly and leaned closer to the laptop screen as he typed. this infuriated you even more.

“can you at least pretend to care? i’m not a statue sitting beside you!” his gaze shifted to you and he pressed his lips into a straight line.

“of course i will! should i even leave my job and tell my boss that my partner wanted to argue with me while i work?” sarcasm dropped all over his tone and it made you nauseous. you couldn’t believe your ears thay minho, lee minho was acting this way. he rolled his eyes and muttered a ‘thought so’ , upon seeing you go quiet and diverted his gaze back to the laptop in front of him.

“why do you have to make everything so difficult? why can’t you just talk like normal people do?” your gaze hardened and he could feel it. rolling his eyes, he switched his gaze back to you and saw you, a new you. your jaw was clenched harshly it was almost as if you were a ticking time bomb, just finding the right time and you could explode.

but minho was no less. the last thing he wanted was to submit his work after his deadline. and time was ticking as always. it doesn’t wait for him.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you! you need to know that. i have submissions to make and i can’t afford to lose my job when i’m this close to getting promoted,” with a final look he picked up his laptop and marched into your shared room. you poked your inner cheek with a tongue and wiped a lone tear that dripped on your cheek. this was going to be one hell of a night. and what hurt you even more is that he didn't even try.

౨₊ৎ changbin

changbin just unlocked the door to your shared apartment and quietly took off his shoes before slipping in the flip-flops. his heart dropped out it’s chest when he saw the date and time. it was two minutes past three. and he wasn’t surprised when the lights flicked on and there you stood, with an exhausted expression and wearing formals.

“shit. . . babe i’m so sorry-“

“you’re sorry?” your scoff definitely took him back. he stared at you nervously and felt his palms get clammy.

“if you’re sorry then you wouldn’t have forgotten our second anniversary! if you’re sorry then you wouldn’t have forgotten our booking! and if you’re really sorry then you would’ve at least called!” you yelled loudly and he could feel himself grow annoyed even though he was at fault.

“babe, i’ve had a tiring day and a bad headache. could you please not shout?” his soft tone took you by surprise but there was disappointment all over your face as he simply began to walk away.

“that’s it then? you’re just walking away like that? like a coward running away from his problems?” your throat felt dry when his head turned and his eyes met yours. his brows were furrowed in anger and he took a step towards you.

“me? a coward? if working my ass off means i’m a coward then maybe i am one. but i’m not running away from my problems. i’m simply solving them at the right times,” he muttered and gave you a tight smile.

“right time, huh? then why can’t you appear at the right times during our dates?” you replied, weakly. you were tired too. tired of his excuses, his empty promises, his apologies. they felt like nothing anymore. he had let you down too many times.

he opened his mouth to say something but closed it back again realising it could worsen the situation. with a soft sigh, he pressed his lips to your head and muttered a sorry before walking away.

maybe, the right time required you both to sit down and talk calmly.

hyunjin

“baby,” you hummed in response, making him continue, “i have a tour coming up so i’ll be gone for two months.”

the words slipped his mouth so easily as if he almost didn’t care. he came back home a week ago. out of which, he spent more than half of his time occupied at the company.

“you just came back!” the exasperation was visible in your tone and hyunjin bit his lip, feeling guilty. he cupped your face and said, “i’ll call you everyday, i promise.”

with a glare you shrugged his hands off and sat straighter to get your point clear, “if i wanted a boyfriend who can only call me why didn’t i just go for long distance?”

hyunjin’s expression changed. he ran a hand through his hair harshly, “i thought you knew what you were getting to when you started dating me.”

“yes i did! i still do. but that doesn’t change the fact that you have the upper hand in your life. which means you should be able to make some time for me?” it felt pathetic, to beg for his time. to sit there at home waiting for him. always. like the desperate being you were. and you began to even pity yourself.

“how long do i have to wait for you hyun? just how long?” and as the tears finally slipped through, hyunjin pulled you in a tight hug. he let you hit him. he let you curse him. and in the end he didn’t let you walk and slip away. but maybe, trying harder would be better. the thing that stung the most was time. time that he didn't have for you. time that he promised he would give, but never did. maybe it was time to take some right decisions for both of you.

౨₊ৎ han

you had been trying to get your boyfriend to talk to you for about 15 minutes now. it was a chore. it was exhausting. but you knew something was wrong and you weren't going to let him suffer alone.

“what’s your problem?” he snapped. annoyance written bold on his forehead as he stared at you, waiting for an answer.

“you’re too unusually quiet today,” you muttered under your breath but he managed to hear it.

it was one of those days where the two of you didn’t hold back.

“oh so now you decide whether i talk or not?” you sighed noticing him still look annoyed.

“don’t put words in my mouth jisung,” your eyes warned him, and he snapped himself out of it before covering his face with his hands.

“can you just go away for now?” he whispered and looked at you. he looked so . . . tired.

“is that a request or a warning?” your joke had no smiles, neither out of you nor him. he expectantly looked at you making you bitterly nod to yourself.

“always has to be me,” and even though it reached his ears he gave no expression, seemingly feel his head throb with thinking too much. he slammed his hands on the desk it made him feel better, maybe not much. but it did not fill the gap in his chest. and it hurt him to reach this point.

౨₊ৎ felix

“lix, i don’t think i can do this anymore,” you muttered and looked away knowing that one look at his face would have you running back in his arms. you had become that weak for him. that weak that you couldn’t resist him or his lies.

“what do you mean baby?” he looked so confused that you almost felt guilty, but then you remembered that he was just being innocent. as if he didn’t lie to you a hundred times. as if he didn’t cause you pain and misery almost everyday.

“i’m tired of you, lix. i’m also tired of us. how long are you going to make me suffer?” your tone caught him by surprise. he stared at you baffled, trying to find words to make you stop speaking like that anymore but he chose to remain quiet when he saw that look of sadness take up on your expression.

“i know we fight a lot babe but i swear i love you,” he held your hands in his hands and pressed a tender kiss while looking at you.

there it was. those words he uttered again, just like always. he would hurt you and then later on he would sweet talk you. and you had grown extremely tired of it.

shrugging his hands off you took a step back, “that’s it felix! if you try to manipulate me once more i’m breaking up with you!”

his brows furrowed in confusion. he didn’t know what you were playing at, but he wasn’t going to back off after being told those words.

“manipulate? i’m simply trying to remain calm! but looks like all my efforts are going in vain,” hurt spread all across his face as he said it. maybe you overthinking it, or maybe not. but one thing was clear, you both hurt each other in ways you didn’t know.

“you always do this! make promises you can’t keep and then talk me out of it,” and even though you stood firm with your decision, you weren’t a fool to not notice the way his shoulders slumped down, and his mouth turn downwards forming a frown.

“what more do i have to do to make you believe that i a sincere about this, about us?” he let out an exasperated sigh after pointing between the two of you.

“just be honest and love me,” and as you uttered those words, your eyes met his and you could see the way it reflected deep sorrow and perhaps guilt? you couldn’t name it.

with a dejected nod, he grabbed his wallet, bag and phone before rushing out of the house.

“i’ll be staying over at chan’s,” he muttered giving you one final look, as if telling you to stop him. but you didn’t, you just nodded and looked away.

he felt all his hopes shatter down upon that one thing, all the things he dreamt of for future could be seen crumbling down and all he could do was let out a shaky breath with his hand trembling all the while as he drove away.

౨₊ৎ seungmin

“where were you?” he practically shouted, startling you.

“i told you i was out with some friends,” you replied, trying to be the calm one.

“some friends? or a special friend?” his tone felt poisonous. it felt unfamiliar on his tongue to speak in this way but he tried not to look too fazed.

“what is that supposed to mean?” you replied pointedly, totally forgetting about remaining calm and stared at him.

“you know exactly what i mean,” his voice lowered down for a second and so did the anger in his gaze, but he held contact wanting you to know it was serious.

“i’ve called you like a million times and i was worried sick because you didn’t tell me where you went!”

“i can take care of myself, seungmin.”

“sure you can, but i don’t trust the other men,” he sighed and his eyes finally softened.

“good night,” he mumbled and walked away, leaving you standing all alone. things were getting better for worse? or for better?

౨₊ৎ jeongin

“stop shouting,’’ he said. It almost made you scoff when he was the one who started it.

“babe it wasn’t funny you know that?’’ you muttered, dejected but he just looked away not having any words to speak.

“i understand they are your friends but you can’t just go and tell them about my problems like that!’’ jeongin let out a deep sigh and looked at you.

“i thought maybe they could help in a way. they’re like my family.’’

“still. you could’ve at least asked me before telling them, you’re basically feeding off every bit of my secrets and i’m even scared to tell you anything now,’’ now that sounded ridiculous to him. you could trust him, and he wanted you to know that.

“you’re clearly overreacting. i just told them why you were feeling off,’’ he ran a hand through his hair growing frustrated that you both didn’t understand each other.

“you gave them the entire speech jeongin. don’t you dare lie to my face!’’ that was the high point. the two of you looked at each other with an abnormally furious gaze. and it made you realise just how long would it take for this to end?

“i’m not lying! Why don’t you understand me? i was just trying to make you feel better!’’

“if you wanted to make me feel better then you could’ve talked to me! and not them!’’

a minute of silence was all that was heard before you took your cue to speak, “am i dating you or am i dating them?’’ the tears came as quickly as they fell. you had grabbed your coat and bag, heading for the door. you didn't think anything else could hurt you. but you were wrong.

what hurt the most was that he didn't stop you.

[che444]

Decide.

I remember when I started my journey learning of myself and my power, I was very insecure in my ability, which by the way is totally normal. It didn’t seem natural for me to just decide what I wanted and have it, it seemed too easy, because a lot of us did not grow up having things so easily so there can be some resistance within us to accept our desires. Again, normal.

However, we have to understand that there are infinite realities, infinite scenarios, infinite lives that we can live. It doesn’t have to come with emotion, it doesn’t even have to feel real at first, but you yourself have the power to choose who you will be. That is the point of life, and if you have discovered this, congrats you have won.

There are many things I have decided over the years. At one point in life I decided I was ugly, and I experienced nothing but that. However the lovely part about deciding is that you can always change your mind. As of now, I have made several decisions that have completely altered my life:

I decided my mom was going to mom into a new house in a wealthy neighborhood by a park I grew up going to but could never afford to live close by to. She called me last week and told me about a house, in the wealthy neighborhood, by the exact park that she is buying this month.

I decided that I was beautiful, and that every person I like is obsessed with me and from that point forward I have randomly manifested love interests I haven’t even spoken to in years calling me wanting a chance, flowers, dates, compliments, secret admirers, and more.

I decided when I was around 16 that I was going to be a rich housewife. Now this is more of a in the future thing, but I have no doubt I will live that life because I have decided. I can see it so clearly in my mind that I have quite frankly already been there, and I know it to be true. So much so that everyone in my life has told me they don’t see me in any other type of relationship when I get married except one of that nature. Right now I’m preoccupied with just being a girl, but again, I KNOW it is going to happen, and my life is aligning every second of the day for me to get exactly what I want.

I decided in high school that no matter what happened during the year, I never ended with less than a B. missing assignments, things turned in late, missing class, whatever it was, didn’t matter and doesn’t matter, and to this day, I have never received less than a B, even in college. It’s something I’ve always believed and it’s never failed me.

These are just a few things, but most importantly, once you decide. STAY STEADFAST IN YOUR DECISION. You need to understand that things are always happening, things are shifting every second in your favor when you hold on to your belief. They quite literally have no choice. EVERYTHING IS YOU, EVERYTHING MOVES ACCORDING TO YOU!

If you decide you can’t manifest, you won’t. If you decide this is fake, it has no choice but to be fake. You will forever be stuck in a loop unless YOU choose otherwise.

So sweets, what’re you going to decide today?

luv, che 🌷

[charmedreincarnation]

hey charm !

i have known about manifestation for years now but i still have a problem with it. so basically, i know for sure that i’m going to enter the void but i don’t know when. everytime something happens in my life, i’m like "it doesn’t matter anyway bc i’m going to manifest my dream life". i have been daydreaming all the time for years so it’s very natural for me. as i see myself in stories that my brain creates, i started doing the same for my dream life. now, i know exactly what it will look like and i live those scenarios in my head like if they were really happening.

the problem is that when i want to enter the void, i’m always trying (i don’t really see myself succeeding) bc i’m scared that if i put too much effort in it or if i really believe it and i don’t succeed i’ll be discouraged.

i really don’t know what to do bc i realized that if i continue just trying and thinking "i’ll get my dream life later" i’ll never manifest it. also i don’t understand the wish fulfilled state bc i feel like i’m already doing it by daydreaming and being sure that i’m going to have my dream life. i want to convince myself that i can enter the void and get everything i want RIGHT NOW and not "later if i’m lucky enough". i feel stuck and i don’t know what to do anymore to keep going.

i’m sorry for the long ask and my bad english…

thank you 🤍🤍

Hi love, first and foremost your English is even better than mine so don’t apologize, and secondly I struggled with this so badly I completely understand.

It's easy to feel stuck waiting for what you want to come to fruition. Even though you might sense that your desire is on its way, it can seem far off, like it's in the future instead of the present. Time passing can make this feeling even stronger, even though time is always moving forward, which makes it even more contradictory. But feeling comfortable and sure that what you want is already yours is the important feeling. By focusing on the idea that your desire is already part of your life, you will shift from waiting for the future to feeling like your desires are already here and now. That's why it's emphasized in the community that you should allow yourself to believe deeply in the fulfillment of your desires right now.

When you really embrace the natural feeling of knowing that your desire is already a part of your life, you will naturally align your thoughts and feelings, with the state of having what you want regardless of the method or technique you’re using to achieve it. That’s what helps me feel confident about making my desires a reality.

seriously understand what you want isn't just something for the future; it's a part of your life right now.The process of manifestation isn't just about daydreaming or imagining your desired reality though that helps. It's about deeply believing that what you want is already real. Shifting your mindset from waiting for luck to deserving and capable of having your dream life will always give you comfort. Also to overcome feeling stuck, i liked practicing mindfulness and using affirmations. Being mindful will help you stay focused on the present, while affirmations helped strengthen my belief!

It's also helpful to detach from the need for immediate results. By letting go of the pressure for instant success, it should reduce your anxiety and allow your inner world to work its magic while staying true to your intentions. Because regardless of how long you think it will take, if you understand it’s immediate and time is passing regardless you will stop trying to fight with the concept of “waiting.” I also recommend reading my time post and this one as well!

Regardless It's natural to feel unsure at times, but start by nurturing your belief in the wish fulfilled state and keep doing what else keep your mind at bay with knowing you really don’t have to do anything unless you want to. Because you’re always doing eveything right

[h4rring1on]

hello!! if you can and want, could you write some angst with steve x fem!reader in which reader feels insecure - in a way that she thinks she's annoying because she talks too much and sometimes too loud, and one day, steve has the party over for a movie night and one of the kids mention that she talks too much and she's too loud while steve goes into the kitchen for something (or to the bathroom, whatever). so from that moment on she tries to speak as little as possible until steve brings it up to her one day and comforts her about it.

i'm sorry if it's too specific, if you can't do it, it's alright! your writings are some of my favourites on tumblr!!! 🌼💗

you and steve never really had any major problems, little fights every now and then but it wasn’t big. you still loved each other, you completed each other

but sometimes, just sometimes, you’d wonder if you really did complete steve. moments like this would always come up, like you’d be play fighting with steve and you’d say “i’m gonna catch you!” a bit too loud

when that would happen, you’d quiet down, you’d be the same, just calmer and more quiet. steve never really notice it until one day, where it became way too clear for him not to.

you were with the party, everyone was wrapped around blankets, popcorn and snacks in hand as they watched the movie, steve was next to you, holding you close as you watched

“wait i don’t get it—how did all that happen when her boyfriend was just sleeping, he must’ve noticed, right?” you asked

“hm, don’t think so, it was outside so he couldn’t have heard it” steve explained

“ohh, yeah right” you said, steve then told you he was gonna go get more snacks from the kitchen

“that one’s my favorite” you pointed to the girl on the screen, you liked talking about the characters and movie overall

“oh my god” mike whined

“we get it, jesus” lucas said

“what the hell, guys?” dustin said

“im sorry dustin i cant take it anymore” mike said, “cant you go one minute without talking? it’s so annoying! we can barely hear the movie because of how loud you are!” mike rolled his eyes and dustin smacked him

“oh…i’m sorry” was all you said, you turned back to the movie and snuggled closer into your blanket, wishing you could hide under it forever. you wanted to disappear, to go away.

you zoned out as the scene kept replaying in your head, you knew it. you finally knew what they truly think of you, what they hate about you. and it was exactly what you hated about yourself

you felt steve sit next to you, making you snap back to reality

“got you your favorite” he smiled and gave you the bag, you slightly smiled and ate in silence

ever since that night, you barely spoke. when you’d visit steve, you’d just listen and nod when he’s speaking. only time you’d actually talk is when you had to give a verbal response.

even then, it was low and wasn’t the way you used to talk, it was worse when you were around the party, you wouldn’t utter a single sound. you thought nobody would notice, but steve did. very much.

steve was working robin’s shift, so it was just you and him, he called you earlier, asking if you could come over since he’s closing the store now, you muttered a small ‘mhm’ and went to the store, helping him close up

he was talking to you about one of the customers that came today, and how they’d taken so long to decide what movie they wanted

“can you believe it? 45 minutes just to pick ghostbusters, it’s not even that hard of a decision to make” he said as he put away the tapes, he looked to you and saw you nodding

“let’s go sit for a bit, take a little break” he said and you nodded again, he sat in front of you, holding your hand

he called your name, and you shook your head in question, “you know i love you, right?” he said and you nodded, “you know you can tell me anything, right?” and you nodded yet again

“did i do something?” he asked and you furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head, “talk to me” he said, his tone frustrated

“no” you shook your head

“then tell me what’s wrong” he asked and you stayed silent, “i know somethings wrong, please—tell me why are you acting this way?”

“what way—“

“are you serious?” he cut in, “you’ve barely said a word to me for the past few days, i know theres a reason—talk to me, please.”

you looked at him for a bit and looked down, “there’s nothing wrong, okay? just—some people finally decided be brave enough to tell me the truth”

“what truth? what people—“

“the truth is that im annoying!” you snapped, “that im annoying—and loud, and talkative. and im happy to hear it because they’re not wrong. they’re not! i should actually thank them for finally telling me what’s wrong with me.” you sighed

steve looked at you with such hurt in his eyes, “who said that?” he asked in a low voice

“why do you even care—”

“why do i even ca—are you—because it’s a lie! everything—they’re all lies! baby, who cares if you like to talk about things more than others do, who cares if you’re loud? you’re you and thats what matters, whoever said that is saying complete bullshit, and i don’t care about it. i just—“ he sighed and held your hand tighter, “i miss your voice, i miss the way you get excited about things, i miss the way you talk on and on and on, i miss you. i miss you, peach.”

a smile found its way on your face and you hugged him tight, “i love you, stevie” you said

“i love you too” he smiled, a feeling of comfort finally coming back to him, to hear you and have you in his arms again.

you two held onto each other for a bit before letting go, “now, you wanna tell me who in their right mind said that?”

[strangermarvelss]

strange love- e.m (pt 2)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Summary: eddie has a date, with someone who isn’t you. you’re less than thrilled about it

Warnings: best friends!-to-lovers!, ANGST, jealousy, cursing, mentions of vomiting, fluffy ending, eddie's a total sap

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: here is the second part to my strange love fic, which you can find the first part linked below. i love writing for eddie and this little multi-part was fun and i want to continue to write for everyone’s favorite metalhead hehe. i hope you all enjoy :)- sava

part one

“I cannot believe that happened. I’m such a fucking idiot!” you exclaim as Nancy comes running down the stairs of her basement, arms full of junk food, magazines, and the movies Robin picked up from her shift at Family Video. Robin was by your side, rubbing your back and whispering soothing little phrases in an attempt to calm you down, while Mike just ran up to his room to try and call El, not wanting to hear or deal with any of your drama anymore. 

You on the other hand, were an absolute mess. The world around your was spinning when you walked into the front door of the Wheeler’s house, prompting Robin to help you down the stairs. The pit of your stomach was a gurgling mess, the horrible thought of spewing your guts still on your mind. The tears now dry on your cheeks from all the crying in the car, but now mixing with new tears forming as your thoughts from the events that occurred less than an hour ago keep flooding back to your memory, trying to process and recount everything that happened. You weren’t shocked by your response to it all, because your greatest secret just escaped from your own personal fortress and out into the world.

Your best friend knew you liked him.

And he just stood there. Looking disgusted. Horrified. 

The more you thought about it, the thicker the air became around you and the harder it became to breathe. Closing your eyes, you try to focus on your breathing and think of the place where you are most relaxed, a trick your school counselor taught you when you met weekly during your parents divorce. 

The only problem? Your happy place was now compromised. 

The place where you felt like no wrong could happen or all the bad things that Hawkins kept throwing your way couldn’t reach was down at the Forest Hills Trailer Park, listening along to a kick ass song that a sweetheart of a metalhead would strum on his guitar as a joint hung loosely on his lips, all while you nursed on a warm beer that you would normally hate. Your nights would usually go about like that, or watching a movie together all cuddled up on his living room sofa. The times you would spend with Eddie made the fucked up world around you feel small and insignificant, like it was just the two of you existing for the rest of eternity. You would give anything just to be near him with no worries in the world. Now, that just wasn’t in the cards anymore.

“Okay so,” you hear Nancy say, setting down the stuff on the table she brought out and clasping her hands together, causing you to snap back into your current reality. You look at all the food and entertainment in front of you, wanting so badly to just indulge yourself for the evening and believe for a second that it can all be okay and things will be just fine between you and Eddie. But you know in your heart that it’s only a distraction, and when you wake up tomorrow, the pain you’re feeling now will still be very present. 

“You have your pick of…well anything tonight, Y/N. Movies, magazines, any junk you want. We can even order a pizza if you’re in the mood?” Nancy suggests, sitting next to you on the couch. 

“Of course she’s not in the mood, Nance! She and Eddie just-“ Robin began to say, before earning a slap on the leg from across the couch.

“Robin! Don’t bring it up! This night is about having fun and definitely not talking about any guys or girls,” Nancy yells. 

“Guys, I really don’t feel like-“

“Oh so we’re not going to talk about what happened with you and Steve?” Robin asks Nancy. You scrunch your face and look at Nancy, raising your eyebrows with the puzzled look smeared across your face. 

“Wait, what’s going on with you and Steve?” you ask her. Now this was a conversation you were interested in having. If you were going to have a distraction at all tonight, you wanted it to be this conversation. 

“I caught the two of them flirting at Family Video the other day,” Robin admits, causing your jaw to drop as you look between the two them. Nancy lets out a huff and reaches for the bag of Cheetos in front of the three of you.

“Oh yeah? Well did Robin tell you about her and Vicky?” Nancy says, her face sliding into a smirk as a loud gasp escapes Robin’s mouth. You bust into a fit of giggles as the two of them playfully argue over the two people they were trying to be romantic with, grabbing yourself a Hostess cake to sit back and watch the drama unfold. 

The three of you continue to discuss different things, ranging from their crushes, to graduation rounding the corner, and even jokingly planning a trip to take to Indianapolis for a weekend, unsure if the other two girls really meant it. Smiling to yourself, you stuff some food into your face as the jokes and conversation carry on into the late hours of the night, glad that they were able to distract you from the horrible events of the night and wash away for the time being, just living in the moment. You were trying your best to create happy memories without Eddie in them, since that is what your current future was looking like.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of footsteps stomping above you pull you from a blissful sleep. At some point in the night, the couch was converted into the pull out bed and the blow up mattress was put together. You weren’t sure what time the three of you wrapped your conversations and retreated to your dreams for the night, nor were you aware of what time it was currently, but part of you didn’t care all that much. Saturday’s were usually just carefree days for you anyway, catching up on homework or hanging out with Eddie.

Eddie.

The pang in your chest ignites as you recall the events of the night before, images flashing into your brain as you close your eyes and let out a deep breath. Eddie’s giddy smile as he told you about his date, Shirley draped over Eddie on his throne, Eddie’s horrified face when he found out you liked him. It hurt, it hurt more than anything you’ve felt before in your life. More than the stitches you got when you were 8, and even more than your parents divorce. 

You’ve never been in a real relationship, just a few makeout sessions here and there, and Eddie was the first guy you’ve ever truly liked to the point where you thought maybe, just maybe, things would become more than the fantasy you pictured in your head. You saw yourself going on dates with Eddie, which wasn’t too different from your usual interactions and outings with him, it was just paired with more affection and…other stuff. You never thought it would be in the cards for you until you got close with him. But seeing him last night with another girl made those hopes and dreams vanish, cementing them into what they truly were: a fantasy.

Looking around, you notice Robin’s sleeping body still lying next to you on the pull out, while Nancy’s form is not in her blow up mattress she set beside the both of you on the floor. Carefully, you slide out beneath the covers and rise to your feet, walking towards the steps that led you out of the Wheeler’s basement and onto their ground floor. 

The smell of pancakes, bacon, and eggs fill your senses as you open the door from the basement, looking around to see the family just now finishing up. Holly was sitting at the table with Mr. Wheeler as he read his newspaper, and Mrs. Wheeler was beginning to clean up the dishes everyone used. You flash Holly a smile when she looks to you and turn around quickly when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“Hey,” Nancy says. You let out a sigh from the heart attack she nearly gave you and she leads you into the living room away from everyone, and away from the yummy food that was still left over.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, placing her hand on your shoulder for reassurance. Letting out another sigh, you shrug and look out into the distance, trying to collect your thoughts and truly describe just how you feel this morning.

“Not good,” you simply say, looking to Nancy with a tight lipped smile. “But last night really helped me not think about him in the moment, and I appreciate that. I had a lot of fun,” you tell her, pulling her in for a hug, which she quickly reciprocated. Her soft hands rub your back in a soothing manner, causing you to relax a bit more before pulling away to meet her eyes again.

“Do you want some breakfast? Then I can drive you and Robin home?” She asks. You nod and you both stand from the couch and make your way back into the kitchen, Nancy heading towards the basement door to inform Robin of the delicious food that awaits. 

Part of you wanted to beg Nancy to stay here for the rest of the day given how close in proximity you lived to Eddie. You desperately wanted to stay at the Wheeler’s and watch the movies Robin picked up for the three of you that you never got around to last night due to your ongoing stream of consciousness conversation. Hell, you’d rather ask Nancy to take you to Skull Rock than back to the trailer park. Eddie didn’t have a job, so his weekends were spent practicing for his band or hanging out with you, and given the circumstances of last night, the latter wasn’t bound to happen this weekend. Or perhaps ever again. Regardless, he’d be at his trailer when you got back, and if what Shirley was saying last night was true, maybe he wouldn’t be alone. 

And that would just be the cherry on top of your shit sundae.

Your mind and bodily reactions were moving at 1000 miles a minute as Nancy got closer and closer to the trailer park. Robin was dropped off first as she lived closest to Nancy, then the two of you began your journey back to your home. Your nerves that had been buried deep inside since last night were bubbling to the surface again, feeling exactly how you felt yesterday when you found out about his date, then accidentally confirming your feelings to Eddie. Pain in your chest, sweaty palms, light headed mind playing tricks on you.

You notice Nancy checking on you now and again, giving you positive reassurances to settle you down. She and Eddie were the ones who knew you the best, gathering the years of friendship to analyze your distressed tells and noticing even the most slight offness of your presence made both of them concerned. You sure had a way of picking the most observant people in your life.

Pulling into the trailer park, you feel the gravel beneath you shake you in your seat as Nancy carefully passes your neighbors. You rub your thighs up and down a few times, in an attempt to both stop the sweat from gathering on your palms and also to calm your nerves. Passing by Eddie’s trailer, you see his van parked right beside it, signaling that he was home, not that it was any kind of surprise. That didn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat then quickly picking up the pace. 

Turning the corner, you both drive up to your trailer and see the familiar mop of brown messy curls sitting on your steps. His leg was bouncing as he bit his nails, something he really only did when he was extra nervous, as he didn’t want the bad shape of his nails to interfere with his guitar playing. Nancy looks to you and you let out a sigh, not wanting to go and have a conversation about how he doesn’t love you back and that the two of you can’t be friends any longer. All because you fucking hesitated like an idiot. 

“Thanks for the ride, Nance,” you tell her. She pulls you into a hug and you let out a shaky breath, the nerves rising up more and more as you notice Eddie’s watching the two of you from her car, rising to his feet. 

“You got this, okay? And if you need me, call me. I’ll be over in an instant,” she informs you, making you smile. The two of you break away from the hug and you gather your things in your hands as you open the car door. Stepping out, you thank Nancy again and shut the door, turning your attention towards Eddie, slowly walking closer. 

“Hi,” you say. He continues to look at you, his face unreadable. 

“You didn’t come home last night.”

“I slept over at Nance’s, we made the plans during school yesterday,” you respond, attitude dripping in your voice. “Besides, you were busy with Shirley last night anyway, so why does it matter to you?”

“I didn’t bring Shirley back here. I took her home after Hellfire,” he simply admits. You stand there for a minute looking at him, his face completely serious. Not something you saw from Eddie Munson very often, as his goofball and eccentric personality something you loved most. But you knew today was not the day for that kind of mood.

“Oh,” you let out quietly. You kick your feet in the gravel, the silence around you as thick as it was last night in the high school parking lot. You weren’t sure what to say to him. Just kidding, I don’t have a major crush on you that I think about nearly every second of every day, good times right? No, you know he knew you were serious. Those observant instincts of his could always kick in at the worst possible moments.

“Listen, Y/N, I wanted to talk about last night-“ Eddie began to say. He couldn’t even look at you as he spoke, and avoiding your nickname he had for you altogether? This isn’t something you wanted to deal with right now, trying to think of several scenarios that would allow for you to slip past him and into the sanctuary of your trailer, all so you could flop on your bed and let these emotions flow freely. 

“Look, Eddie, I really don’t want to have this conversation with you right now. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle hearing this rejection, not now. Hell, maybe not ever. So I’m just gonna go inside, okay? I don’t need some big speech about how you only see me as a friend, and how you don’t think you can even be that anymore because I’ve ruined everything between us, so can you please go home and let me-“ you were rambling on and on, your breathing beginning to become uneven as the words kept spewing out of your mouth and you tried slipping past the metalhead and towards your front door.

“Jesus H. Christ, Y/N, can you please shut up and let me talk?!” He huffs out, grabbing onto your wrist to stop you. You stop in your tracks at his tone and turn towards him slowly, the sadness creeping up your spine and the tears pinching behind your eyes. Stay strong, Y/N. Do not cry in front of him, not again.

“Sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just…God, I’m nervous and I don’t know how I want to say what I’m about to say, even though I’ve been thinking about it all night,” he says. Now it was his turn to start rambling. 

“Just spit it out, Eddie,” you tell him flatly, crossing your arms and waiting to brace for impact. Waiting for the bomb to drop and destroy everything in your path. Years of friendship to be destroyed in a matter of seconds.

“Right, yeah. Well, I-uh-I like you,” he blurts out.

What?

“That’s actually an understatement, sorry. I love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you,” he tells you, his eyes peering up and meeting yours. The genuine look on his face was tearing your heart to shreds. There was no way he was being serious right now, after how last night played out. You standing there in the parking lot looking like an idiot as Eddie looked scared out of his god damn mind.

“Bullshit,” you say, your words laced with venom.

“S'cues me?” He asks, his brows furrowing as you continue to hold your eye contact.

“I don’t have it in me to play games Eddie, so don’t bullshit me, I’m begging you,” you let out, sounding defeated. Part of you felt that he was only saying this because he felt sorry for how he humiliated you last night, only ‘reciprocating’ these feelings out of pure pity. 

“I’m not bullshitting you, Y/N. These feelings are as real as the tatties on my body baby,” he tells you, flashing is chest tat quickly. You roll your eyes. He could never be serious for one single moment, could he?

“Give me a break. I saw how you looked at me last night, Eddie. You were…you were disgusted and horrified that someone like me could like you. It was all over your damn face!” You exclaim, walking back down the steps to be on the same level as he was.

“Sweetheart, I was in shock. I didn’t ever expect you to tell me those words…the words I’ve been waiting for years to tell you myself,” he says, walking closer to you. The two of you were mere inches away from each other as he takes your hands in his, trying his best to look up at you with his big, brown, doe eyes through his messy bangs. You felt a tear run down your face as he looked at you, feeling as if you needed to pinch yourself to see if you were still asleep and dreaming on Nancy’s pull out.

“W-why didn’t you tell me sooner, Eddie? Especially last night. I felt like a fool,” you ask, your voice trailing off as your sentence tapered into nothing. Keeping his grasp on one of your hands, he brings his other to cup your face and brush away the few tears that collected on your soft cheeks. 

“Are you kidding? You’re one of the most gorgeous girls in all of Hawkins, and I’m the town freak. I never thought we’d be as close of friends as we are, let alone you wanting to be mine. I was scared out of my mind, and…I didn’t want anything to break up our friendship,” he tells you, making you giggle. “What’s so funny, sweetheart?”

“It’s just…those are some of the exact same reasons why I never told you any sooner. I didn’t want to lose you as a friend, and I thought…not having you in my life outweighed the hurt of walking around thinking you didn’t like me back,” you explain to him. You look up at him and brush his bangs out his face a bit, getting a better view of his precious eyes on you.

“Guess we’re a couple of idiots, aren’t we?” He asks, making you laugh. His laugh fills your ears which prompts you to wrap your arms around his torso, breathing in his usual smell of weed and musk. The classic Eddie smell you know and love finally filling your senses once again and soothing your nerves. Eddie pulls away ever so slightly to look at you again, his face inches from your own.

“I am so sorry about last night, sweetheart, and I am so sorry for making you feel bad and embarrassed because of how I reacted. Had I known about your feelings, that stupid date would’ve never happened. I just thought maybe moving on would help the feelings I had for you go away, but I started to realize that wasn’t the case when you started acting off during Hellfire. All I wanted to do was stop the game and come comfort you,” he explains to you. He brings his hand back up to cup your cheek and you melt into his touch.

“It’s okay, Eddie. As long as I can finally call you mine, right here and now, I think it’s something I’ll be able to forget about,” you tell him.

As if it was his answer, his lips were quick to move to yours, his smooth pink lips moving against yours, the taste of him almost heavenly…better than anything you could’ve imagined yourself in that head of yours. You wrap your arms around his neck and move deeper into the kiss, allowing his tongue to slip past your lips, your tongues massaging one another and swapping saliva like your lives depended on it. 

Eddie Munson was yours, and you were his. Everything was coming together better than you could’ve imagined. Well, almost.

The two of you pull away from each other and you suck in some deep breaths, making Eddie laugh. You bite your quickly swelling lip and continue to hold him close to you. You feel your heart banging against your chest, except you knew it was for all the right reasons now. The safety of Eddies arms pull you in tight, feeling as if he could never ever let you go and had to stay like this forever.

“I’m going to spend the next however long making it up to you and showing you just how sorry I am for last night. I love you sweetheart, don’t ever get that twisted,” he tells you, placing a soft kiss on the tip of your nose.

“Well…if you say so. You got any ideas in mind for how you’ll make it up to me?” You pull away and ask, quirking a brow as you start walking towards your front door once more, pulling Eddie’s arm as you drag him along with you.

“Oh believe me, I can think of a few.”

[mistystepmoonbeam]

Reborn into BG3: Chapter 10

You're reborn into BG3 with only the memory of your past life. Now you're Tav's companion on his journey, and must learn about yourself as much as your new reality.

Chapter 10: Tiefling party time! And Scratch finally makes an appearance.

Word count: 2K

Warnings: Drinking--reader gets drunk!

A/N: I can't believe how many of you want more Tav x Reader romance lol

You find yourself sitting at the edge of the river during the tieflings party, staff upright and twirling between your fingers.  The small length of sand between the water and the grass behind you is soft enough to let you sink down an inch, but the scattered stones don’t let you disappear like you want.  The party is in full swing and you’re hiding in the shadows beyond the small rock arch beside Wyll’s tent, moping. 

Well, the noise was aggravating your headache too, but still.  At least out here it’s quieter than in your tent.  

“And here I thought I would be the only one hiding myself away during the celebration.”  Wyll sits beside you, two silver goblets of wine in his hands.  He passes you the closest one which you take. 

“Loud noises and head injuries don’t mix,” you say with a sniff at the wine.  It’s dark outside but you can tell it’s white wine, nose tingling at the high alcohol content.  Without much thought you down the cup.  It passes over your tongue with barely any taste.

“But alcohol and misery do,” he counters, watching you press the bottom of the goblet into the sand.  “I thought the devil might have spooked you but something tells me that’s not the case.”

You move your eyes over the water.  “I was just thinking about how much I’m going to miss you guys.  I know it hasn’t been that long since we met but you’re literally the only people I know.  I just…don’t know what I’m going to do in the morning.”

“What are you talking about?” Wyll questions.  When you only offer him a shrug in return he watches you carefully.  If you were looking in his direction you would feel smaller than you already do under his scrutiny.  Finally he says, “Perhaps that devil did get in your head.  Whatever he said, whatever he promised, don’t consider it for a second.”

How could you not?  Raphael only said what you were thinking.

The alcohol forces a warmth through your body that you don’t want.  It was too much like the kindness you’ve been offered so many times since waking here, too much like the magic used to heal your repeated injuries.  You bring your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around them.  

“I’m not.”  Liar, you think.  You’re even considering going to Auntie Ethel.  “And he didn’t get in my head.”

“Then what are you talking about, missing us?”

“I mean,” you say, maybe a little too forcefully, “that when you go I will notice you’re gone.”

You huff and shift in the sand.  Wyll runs a hand over his face, muttering, “By the gods you’re just as foolhardy as me.” 

He sets his goblet in the sand and faces you.  “And where will you be when we’re gone?”

You shrug and throw your hands in front of yourself.  “I don’t know!  Without the tadpole or any idea who I am, I have no idea!”

In your outburst you grab Wyll’s goblet and down what was left, about half of it.  It stings your nose and throat, something much stronger than the drink he’d given you.  Far too politely, he lets you do this and watches.  You cough and inhale harshly, head already starting to spin.  But maybe that’s the concussion and the couple of drinks you’d had earlier…

“Did someone tell you you’re not welcome here?” Wyll asks.  His voice hints at his amusement more than the downturn of his lips.  “I can’t imagine Tav sending anyone away.  He’s just found a frog that he insists stay with us.”

You tilt your head in agreement and lean back until you’re laying in the sandy grass.  There’s a rock poking at one of the many bruises on your back but you ignore it.  Your mind grows foggy, and you run your hands over your face in hopes of clarity.  But all you get is…you’re not even sure.  More sadness?  Anger?  And at what?  Not the group.  The gods?  Whichever one put you here and didn’t let you remember who you are, only who you were?

Philosophical questions of identity and perception cross your mind but you’re now too tipsy to think them through.  You cover your eyes with your forearms.

“I miss…” you begin, but you can’t finish the sentence.  “I just want to remember something other than what is.  He made it sound like…like he knew me.  Not just giving me my memory back, but he knew me.”

“Devils are fantastic liars,” Wyll tells you.  “Come on, I think we should clear some things up with the others.”

You listen to him stand and then feel his hand gently grab your upper arm.  He gives you a pull and you let him get you to your feet with little resistance.  You hug your staff to you, unwilling to let go of Tav’s gift.  If not for Wyll leading you and the staff to lean on, you’d be stumbling along the path or just falling down, but he manages to get you to Gale and Karlach who are drinking by the tiefling siblings as Rolan performs firework tricks.  

Before he can say a word you spot a fluffy white tail nearby, and despite your swirling vision you recognize the owner immediately.  

“Oh my God,” you shout, kneeling (well, fall, really) onto your knees as Scratch barks at Rolan, making the tiefling flinch.   “Puppy!”

Scratch turns to you and pounces when he sees you’re on the ground with him.  He knocks you onto your back and licks your face–by now you’re too drunk to even notice.  You scratch behind his ears and squish his face, laughing as he rubs his face against yours.  You’re mumbling about what a good boy he is when he lays down on you, resting his full weight on your torso.  He’s…heavier than he looks in the game.

You groan, waving a hand at the companions around you.  Someone throws something towards the centre of camp and Scratch takes off, using your stomach as a launchpad.  You nearly vomit at the sudden pressure and roll onto your side.

A hand lowers to you.  Your body is shaky but you manage to grab hold of it and he helps you to your feet, even picking up your forgotten staff and passing it back to you.  Of course, it’s Wyll that gives you a solid foundation to stand on.

“Karlach, Gale,” the warlock begins, “our dear friend here thinks we’ll be sending them off alone, what are your thoughts on that?”

Karlach and Gale exchanged a confused glance before looking at you.  Gale says, “Just because you don’t have a mindflayer tadpole doesn’t mean we’re leaving you behind.”

He’s too smart, you think.  And his shirt looks so soft right now, the perfect pillow.  You waver left and right, eyelids growing heavy.  It’d be so easy to just lean forward and close your eyes…no!  Awake, be awake!  The alcohol is twisting your thoughts too well.  But Gale is too polite too, if you just happened to rest on his super soft sweater a moment, right?

“Is that what that means?”   Karlach’s eyes widen and she nearly drops her cup.  “Haven’t you heard of no soldier left behind?  We aren’t just going to leave you here like a stray cat.”

You pout, eyes on your staff.  “I’m not useful without the tadpole, though.”

“You weren’t useful with it,” Gale responds.  If looks could kill, Gale would be cinders from Karlach’s glare when you lift your head.  He holds up a hand in surrender.  “What I mean is that we may have all come together because of our ocular insertions, but there’s no need to separate without them.  I would be—disappointed to see you go, but if that’s what you want, I won’t stop you.”

Karlach shifts.  “I guess I won’t either, but I will try to change your mind!”

Wyll’s hands are on your shoulders.  “Do you want us to go on without you?  It’s a dangerous journey and without the parasite it would make sense for you to be the one to leave us.”

“No!”  You cover your mouth with one hand, realising just how loud you’d shouted.  The younger siblings, Cal and Lia,  look at you curiously before going back to teasing Rolan.  Quietly you repeat, “No.  I want to—I want to help.”

It sounded a little more mature than “I want to hang out with you some more”, at least, or “please for the love of god don’t leave me I have no idea what I’m doing”.

You blink slowly at them, eyes scanning the area in hopes of hiding whatever emotion is clear on your face.  You’re sure it must be sadness, but there’s a smile threatening to rise at the thought they want you to stay with them.  Tears, too.  

“I think I need water,” you mumble, “lots of water.”

“Excuse me.”  The voice draws everyone’s attention to one of the tiefling guards.  Arka.  It’s a good thing you’re drunk because the shock you feel is delayed enough for you to keep it hidden.  She’s watching you, her expression a mixture of sorrow and anger, but it soon turns to defeat.   She wets her lips.  “I heard about what happened—Mirkon asked me to thank you.”

You tilt your head, unable to remember the name. 

Arka’s own brow furrows in confusion.  “You told the druids about him going to the beach; the guards found him about to be harpy food—they’d been so busy with the rite they hadn’t bothered to clear out the nest over there.”

There’s a deep venom in her words about the druids, and maybe at you for not remembering any of it.  Or maybe it’s just in your head because the world is getting a little—twirlier, than you’re used to.

“Right,” you say.  “I’m glad he’s okay.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Karlach questions.  “I just got my upgrade, I coulda taken those harpies no problem!”

“Four harpies is a lot for even you,” you respond.

“Hey, you tell me about your next bad feeling and I’ll prove you wrong.”  Karlach laughs loudly.  She tells the others of your “bad feeling” about the singing and the boy, and mentions how she’s taken on worse than a few harpies.

If you weren’t so out of it you might have noticed both Gale and Wyll watching you closely.  With more than concern for a drunk friend, but you don’t ask what they’re thinking.  Another death you prevented.  Not to mention one too many details—how did you know it was four harpies?

When Arka turns to leave you grab her wrist.  “You don’t have to do it.  Memnos—that’s his name—Memnos will be sad.  They need you for what’s coming in the…the—what is it—the dark place.”

Your eyes are closed for this speech.  You can clearly see her dead body in your mind, but it’s not on a screen, it’s real.  So real you can smell the blood and feel the breeze on your skin as you look down at her corpse.

Silence overtakes you as you pass out a moment.  You’re jolted awake a few seconds later by Gale, his hands on both your shoulders when you look at him.  “Oh, I’m so glad you don’t have a boar head.”

But behind him Arka’s eyes are wide—terrified.  Gale begins to lead you towards your tent.  “Apologies for our friend here.  As you can see, wine loosens the tongue of its nonsense.”

Arka points a finger at you, her shock now turned to anger.  “How could you possibly know that?”

You lean into Gale’s side, trying to remember what she’s talking about.  “Know what?”

“That I was—that tonight I…”  Her words trail off.  She gulps whatever else she was going to say and shakes her head, spinning on her heel and joining Memnos and Alfira on the other side of camp.

You look at Gale, or more accurately his shoulder and that soft, soft sweater.  You lean your head on it and ask, “What do I know?”

You’re not sure if you’re supposed to hear his reply.  “More than we thought, it seems.”

Taglist:

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[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

as someone who's an azul kinnie im curious why you placed azul on the slightly dislike list considering you like scheming characters

[My TWST character tier list is here.]

I think the easiest way to explain it is that I came in with the wrong expectations of him? I thought Azul would be similar to what Jade’s character actually was, so Jade ended up upstaging him in that regard. Essentially, not all scheming characters are equivalent; Azul has other traits which weigh him down for me.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll reiterate it here because I feel it is very relevant for Azul. I… tend to not like “main” guys because of of how much they appear everywhere (including merch and marketing); it makes me feel like I’m being “pushed” to like them specifically rather than being allowed to think for myself about who I like. This is the case for dorm leaders, which includes Azul. Additionally, “main” guys tend to get more of a story focus (also true of the dorm leaders), and that in of itself can be a double edged sword. It means more information + backstory about that character, and while that’s great for lore and fleshing them out, it also means potentially polarizing the fans who were content with their perception of the character prior to the reveal. Once that change happens, it completely shifts how you see the character and then you can’t go back to how you felt before. This was a painful factor in what I call the “stock market crash” of my opinion of Azul Ashengrotto.

I actually quite liked him at first. I took his hand at the start when I first started playing TWST back in 2020 ^^! I even *gasp* simped a little??? (weird AU where Azul was my oshi instead of J word…) He was every bit an intelligent and calculating deal maker as I suspected he would be—well, at least that’s what the few vignettes available at the time and book 2 implied. Back then, only books 1 and 2 were available in full and book 3 was slooowly being updated in chunks. And really, I was liking book 3 a lot (he was still being a silly little scumbag, lol) and took no issue with it… UNTIL THE LAST PART DROPPED 💀 AND WE GOT HIS BACKSTORY…

Now 💦 I’m aware that the OB boys’ backstories usually garner sympathy and enhance the preexisting love we have for those characters but… Azul’s backstory actually had a very strong opposite effect on me. It was the moment I realized, “Hey, maybe I don’t like you as much as I thought I did.” I’d describe the feeling like having a pleasant dream and then you’re suddenly violently awoken by a loud alarm clock, a screeching parrot, and Sebek shouting in your ears at once.

I want to be clear when I say I do not mean to demean or to diminish Azul’s experiences of being bullied. I also do not mean to shame Azul for being (rightfully) upset about his circumstances or for being emotional. When I say that I started disliking Azul because of this backstory, it’s for a very personal reason: I just don’t like stories where a victim of bullying becomes a bully, thus perpetuating the cycle. It’s sad to see someone go down that path, spreading more hate because of the hate they had received before… and I’ll never believe that revenge is a good response for an injustice 😔 Azul’s case is a little different, as he does eventually go on to recognize how far he has strayed from the benevolent ideals of the Sea Witch and is now actively trying to work on himself (which I appreciate and applaud him for). However, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth that I can’t quite scrub away. I think it’s because I found myself relating to kid!Azul in some ways, so that personal connection amplified the disappointment I felt in the decisions he made. It feels like looking into an alternate reality where I, too, went down a dark path—and that thought is unpleasant, to say the very least. Now I view Azul more like a cautionary tale and keep a safe distance from him.

[girlwitheconverse]

MUSEUM

╰┈➤ SIMON “GHOST” RILEY

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader

Genre: romance, angst

Story type: one shot

Word count: 2k

TW(s): death, mentions to the greek myth of Leda and the Swan

masterlist

“And then Johnny told me that I should go home and take a break, can you believe that?” Simon says as he paces around his room, he stops and looks at you: pretty as always as you listen to his rants from where you are: sat on his bed with his favorite shirt on you.

“Why would you need a break?” You ask confused as you fidget with the pillow on your lap.

“That’s exactly what I thought!” Simon says with a smile as he sits on the bed next to you, “I’m perfectly fine, don’t I look fine?”

“You look handsome and at your best, as always.” You reply with a smile as you place your hand over his, “Maybe it’s Johnny the one who needs a break.”

“That’s what I told him!” He says as he leans with his head on your shoulder, “And do you know what he said after? That I should talk to Price and find a solution!”

“Talk to Price? Like a child who goes crying to his daddy?” You chuckle and kiss the top of his head. “Will you go and talk to Price?”

“I guess I will, if he gives me some days to spend back home I could convince him to take you with me…” Simon says as he hugs you “And we could go see the museum that you wanted to see so badly.”

“The one I begged you to take me before the last mission?” You say excited and look up at him with wide eyes, Simon nods. “I can’t wait! Go and talk to Price now!” You say happily as you jump off the bed.

“Okay…I will, you calm down.” Simon chuckles as he walks to the door, but you stop him before he can exit his room.

“I love you, Simon.” You whisper with a nostalgic smile as you hug his pillow, Ghost looks at you confused.

“I love you too, sweetheart, I’ll be back soon.” He says with a smile as he walks to Price’s office, on his way there everyone avoids him – like they've been doing for weeks now – and gives him weird looks. After knocking he enters Price’s office and sits on the chair across the desk, in front of the Captain.

“Hello, Simon, everything’s okay?” Price asks with a soft smile as he looks at Simon from head to toe.

“Of course, everything’s perfectly fine.” Simon says as he shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to ask for a few days off – Price’s expression fills with hope at his words – for me and Y/n, I want to take her to a museum that she’s begging me to visit.”

The hope in Price’s eyes dyes immediately as the last words leave the Lieutenant’s lips.

“Oh God…Simon…” Price says as he looks at him with a sad expression.

“What? We can’t have a few, maybe three, days off work?” Simon asks, a little irritated.

“Simon…I thought you had got over it…” Price whispers, “Simon…You know well what happened…”

“What? We already used all our days off?” Simon acts confused but there’s only one thought going on repeat in his head: your voice saying ‘everything’s okay’.

Price sighs and looks at Simon in the eyes, “Simon, Y/n got killed in action two months ago…You know it…She died in your arms, Simon.” The Captain says as he remembers how painful your loss was for everyone on the Task Force.

“Why do y’all continue to repeat this shit? It isn’t funny…Y/n is in my room waiting for me to take her to that museum.” Simon says and it doesn’t take long for Price to realize how deep in denial Simon is. Ghost continues to shift in the chair as he looks around the office.

“Simon…Y/n is dead, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Price says as he looks at Simon with pity in his eyes.

Ghost stops his movements and looks down at his feet with a sigh, “I know it…” he whispers as reality hits him.

All the times in these two weeks where he talked to a pillow in his room which had your scent on it, all the times he hugged that same pillow, slept hugging it — all while pretending that it was you.

“But we didn’t go to that museum…” he whispers as he fights his tears, he won’t cry in front of Price, he may be close to him but he’s still the Task Force’s Captain.

“I’ll give you the days off that you asked for anyway, you can take some time to deal with your loss…Maybe you can go to that Museum Y/n wanted to see, even without her.” Price says as he looks down at the paper on his desk.

“I’ll take them, maybe…Maybe I do need a little break.” Simon says as he finally looks back at his Captain, “I’ll go prepare the luggage.”

“After this mission we’ll go back home and you’ll take me to the Museum, like you promised me!” You say happily. You and Simon are hiding in a building as you wait for the enemy to show up. “Even if you always postpone it, the exhibition will end and we still won't have gone!” You huff with a pout.

“Why do we have to go to a boring Museum?” he rolls his eyes annoyed, “we could…I don’t know…have some fun just us two instead…The exhibition will stay for another four months…”

“No. I want to go to the Museum!” You insist as you continue to stay alert anyway.

“If that’s what my darling wants…” Simon says as he closes his eyes and leans against the wall.

And that’s his mistake.

He usually doesn’t make mistakes during missions. Usually.

But this time things are different, he feels more relaxed. He shouldn’t.

He doesn’t notice the red dot on his chest. But you do.

“Ghost!” You scream as you move him away from the sniper’s viewfinder just as they shoot.

The bullet hits you in the chest.

“Y/n! W-Why…” Simon whispers in shock as he takes you and hides behind a wall, away from the sniper’s view. Or at least he hopes so. “Stupid idiot! Why did you do that! Hang in there!” he says as he calls for help through his earpiece.

“Oh shit…!” you moan in pain as you start to breath heavily, frenetically looking around until your eyes stop in Ghost’s, you smile, understanding that the end for you is near.

“Oi! Don’t pull this shit on me! Don’t smile like it’s the last thing you’ll do!” he says as he places his hands over your wound to try and stop the bleeding. “You aren’t going to die…You can’t die!” Simon says as tears start to form in his eyes.

The pretty brown eyes that you love so much.

“Simon…Hey…” I smile up at him, it’s ironic how it’s me who’s dying but I still want to comfort him.

“What? Help is on the way…You’ll live…Y-You can’t die…” his voice continues to get lower as he speaks “You can’t…Leave me…Alone…Here…Please…Don’t leave me alone.”

“Everything's okay…” You whisper with a forced smile, a smile that costs a lot. Just that takes away what could’ve been some more seconds of life. “I love you.”

“I love you too…But please…We…We have to go to that Museum, right? You really want to go there! You can’t die before going there!” he says as he hugs you, “Yea, that’s right…Help will come and you’ll survive and we’ll go to see that shitty museum, I’ll be bored but I’ll still listen to everything you say about the art pieces there…”

He continues to talk and hug you for minutes, unaware that for half of the time he was hugging your dead body.

“God, I don’t even know the name of the artist…But you’ll tell me, right? What’s their name? Y/n? Y-Y/n?” he stutters as he looks at your body in his arms, that’s when he notices that you aren’t breathing anymore.

Half an hour after you got shot.

“Fuck!” Simon curses as he wakes up. He’s sleeping on a mattress on the floor of the small apartment where he now lives. He couldn’t stay in your shared house after you passed away, there were too many memories. Everything reminded him of you.

And when he finally got some sleep the memory of your death went on replay in his dreams, or more like nightmares. Every time he closes his eyes he sees your lifeless body in his arms.

Every. Fucking. Time.

Even when he blinks.

And your last words echo in his ears, in his mind, in his heart.

“Everything’s okay.”

“I love you.”

I love you.

I love you.

You loved him, that’s why you didn’t hesitate to save his life at the cost of yours.

But he didn’t understand that — he didn’t want to understand that.

Blaming himself was easier.

“Fuck it.” Simon says as he stands up from the ‘bed’ and goes into the bathroom to take a shower.

He will go to that stupid Museum, even alone. That was your last wish, and he will honor that.

Cold water runs on his tattooed body, as he cries, again. He doesn’t deserve the luxury of taking a hot, relaxing, shower — that’s what he thinks.

It should’ve been me, goes in replay in his head. He deserves to die, not you.

He was the monster, not you, you were his little ray of sunshine in his rainy days — everyday.

“Da Vinci, uh?” Simon says as he looks around the exhibit of all Da Vinci’s works, the only missing is the Monalisa, the Louvre didn’t want to give it, they were afraid of someone stealing it.

He stood in front of Y/n’s favorite: Leda and the Swan.

He didn’t know why she liked that particular piece, for him it was kind of disturbing, especially the fact that Zeus slept with Leda in Swan form.

And the fact that she birthed eggs.

When Y/n was still with him she would tell him all the myths she knew and he would often comment with things like: ‘that’s fucked up’ , ‘what the fuck?’ , ‘how do you like this kind of things?’

But now, his new apartment was full of books about Greek mythology and Greek myths.

Now there’s a fresh tattoo on his chest, right over his heart, a simple phrase: Y/n, my goddess. You told him many times that saying that someone is as beautiful as a goddess (worse if the goddess is Aphrodite) is basically asking to get cursed for life.

But he didn’t believe it, nor does he believe it now. But he can only hope for a curse, in the end, you’re already dead…

What curse can be worse than this?

His death? That would be a blessing.

Giggles.

He hears a girl giggle and that takes him out his thoughts, deep and dark thoughts. He looks to his right and sees a girl giggling as she looks at a painting and talks with a guy, her boyfriend maybe.

“What do you find so cool about this painting?” the guy asks as he tilts his head and looks at the painting, the lady with an ermine.

“I don’t know…I just…like it.” The girl says with a smile.

This could’ve been us. He thinks. I don’t even know why she likes this painting so much.

“Swans mate only one time for their whole life.” A girl next to him says, Simon turns his head and looks at her. She’s smiling as she looks at the painting. “I mean…at least that’s what happens the majority of times.”

Simon looks at her with wide eyes. ‘You’re my swan, Simon.’ was the thing you said to him when it was your one year anniversary. At that time he didn’t understand what you meant, but now he does.

“Sir? Are you feeling alright?” the girl asks worriedly.

“I lost my swan.”

If you liked my work (if I made you cry) like, comment and reblog! <3

[hellobabydoll333]

The Dilemma of ‘Feeling(s)’ & Why You Should Keep the Focus on Yourself

Sometimes I get into the feeling of having and then I’m anxious. I don’t want it to end. I want to know what I should do if/when it ends. So I panic n over-consume- desperate to keep it alive, and then it ends.

We all know that to manifest you just assume. But unfortunately some of us are dealing with circumstances that makes our mind think it’s not that easy. But it is, don’t get me wrong. However, the pressure, the anxiety and the fear is all real. And this is how Law of assumption ties in with mental health and wellness.

I talked about my problem above but luckily I’ve found something that helps and I’m gonna share it with you. If you’ve read my blog, you’ve maybe seen that I live by 3 things:

I am pure consciousness

It is done.

Fuck anything or anyone that says otherwise.

They’re all pretty self explanatory but I shall do a quick dive into all three.

I am Pure Consciousness

I believe I am the creator of my reality and anything can be created at anytime BUT everything I want is already created and I just have to choose what to be aware of just like how I don’t identify with my outer body, but instead, the ‘inner man’ or my soul. I really resonate with this because the soul isn’t something I can see but I know it’s there. So therefore I’m pure consciousness.

It is done

LOA is based off of assumptions as is said in the name. Whatever you assume to be true is true. It’s all about what you assume to be true. If you assume you have all your desires, you do. Which is why we say it is done. Assume it is done and it is so.

Fuck anything/anyone else that says otherwise

As the goddess of my reality, why would I have to care about what anyone else says? I decide, not anyone else. I’m not meant to ever give my power away to anyone or anything ever. I shouldn’t let anyone’s opinions ever affect me or take control of my actions, thoughts or assumptions. It is always me. Why would I let someone influence me into believing that I am anything other than I say I am?

Keep the focus on YOURSELF

After I remind myself of these three principles, I’ll move on. Some people say that obsessing over your desire is fine and is something normal. I agree but if you’re like me obsessing can lead to negativity- thoughts questioning everything and everyone. Sometimes I do dwell in knowing I have everything I want, but when I realize it’s turning into something negative and questioning, I shift my focus. I’m low key a procrastinator (working on it) so I got shit to do always.

The most important thing I’ve been procrastinating is myself. I’ve been looking for ways to better myself and I noticed it’s by learning more about me. Not letting anyone decide who I am. I know that I’m the best version of myself but as I get to know myself more and more I find out how and I find out more and more who this best ver of self is. Who is she? Me.

So something’s I’ve been doing is focusing on participating in more hobbies. And your hobbies don’t need to be destructive, you can do so many things like learn a language- which is fun and educational, you can read- expands your vocabulary, knowledge and is fun. And there are many more. My fav pastimes

And I’ve been focusing on bettering myself, baby steps but I’ve been building a morning, night and other little routines for myself that’ll only do good for myself now and in the long run.

And allat to say

It’s okay if you slip up. We all have our moments however it isn’t the end of the world. During these times make sure you take care of yourself and your mental health and remember that your thoughts not anyone else don’t hold the power- you do. It is done. There’s nothing to stress or worry about. If you ever need someone to talk to (as long as it isn’t trauma dumping) or you have any questions, you can always send me an ask. <3

hellobabydoll333

If you read this already because I accidentally posted it two times… no you didn’t

[darthannie]

day sixteen: degradation with jackson rippner

pairing: Jackson Rippner x f!reader  word count: 785 warnings: noncon, mention of stalking and kidnapping, choking, breath play, use of ‘sir’, spit, face fucking, he's mean a/n: I need him to say WORSE things to me. Like SO much worse. I need him to be TERRIBLE. kinktober masterlist

You woke up in a bed with your wrists bound in front of you. The last thing you remember was being hit in the head. You had no idea where you were or why. Fear set in as you saw a figure by the door. He spoke, “You don’t know me, but I know you. I know you very well.” 

“Please don’t hurt me,” you said as tears welled in your eyes. This was your biggest fear and you couldn’t believe it was becoming a reality. 

“I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to see what all the fuss is about.”

You yelped as he grabbed your legs, pulling you down to the edge of the bed. He took off your shoes and yanked down your jeans and panties. He knelt so his face was near your pussy. He licked your entrance and tasted how wet you were. He hummed at the taste. “Your hole is nice and wet for me. At least you’re good for something.” He stood up and pulled down his pants, taking out his cock and stroking himself in the process.

“Now when I speak to you, you respond with Sir. Understand?”

“Fuck you,” you spat.

“Hm. Not quite.” Anger flashed across his face as his hand wrapped around your neck, choking you. “Let’s try that again. Are you ready to be used like the little slut that you are?” You didn’t respond and his hand tightened. “What? Is something making it hard to respond?” You nodded slowly. “Say. Sir, please let me breathe.”

Your voice was thin. “Sir, please let me breathe.” His hand relented and you gasped. Without warning he thrust into you. He went slow, but his thrusts were calculated. There was nothing sloppy about his approach. He wanted you to feel him each time he pulled out and entered you again. Your elbows bent and your hands rested over your heart, which was beating out of your chest. You tried to pull on the restraints but they were too tight. 

“Fucktoys don’t get to use their hands. Disgusting sluts like you are only good for their holes.”

You groaned as you felt him shift inside you. His thrusts were more shallow now, but they hit an entirely new spot. It was starting to become pleasurable. He grabbed your breast over your shirt and toyed with it. “I’ve watched you day after day. I’ve seen you go to and from work. I watched you go on dates from Thursday to Sunday. And, I’ve watched you give it up almost every single time. What a fucking slut. Whoring yourself out as often as possible just to get a quick fuck. You’re so pathetic.”

He pushed your legs as close to your head as possible while he fucked you. “Did you know only worthless whores like being fucked in this position? Are you a worthless little whore?” 

You stayed silent and he spit in your face. “I said, are you a worthless little whore?” 

“Yes, Sir. Yes, I am,” you stuttered. 

“Say it”

“I’m a worthless whore,” you whined. 

“Such a needy little thing.” You moaned as if you agreed with him. You moved underneath him as he sped up. “Do you think you deserve my cum? Huh, fucktoy? Do you deserve my cum?”

“Fuck. No, Sir, I don’t deserve it.”

“Right answer.” He pulled out and dragged you onto the floor. “Luckily, I have another warm hole for me to use.” He shoved his cock in your mouth and started fucking it. 

“Say ‘Thank you for fucking my mouth, Sir’.”

Any sound you made came out muffled and distorted. He laughed at you. “Come on you can say it.” You tried again to no avail. “Here. Let me help you.” He pulled out of you just long enough for you to repeat after him, and he put his cock back in your mouth right as you finished. He moaned as he felt himself go as deep as he could. He shuttered as he came down your throat. 

“That’s it. All your good for is swallowing my cum. Say ‘Thank you for your cum, Sir.’” He pulled out and you repeated. As you did, a drop fell out of your mouth. He took his thumb and swiped it from your face. He stuck his thumb in your mouth and you sucked without being instructed to. 

“Look at that. My cumslut actually learning something.” He cleaned himself up and put himself back together, leaving you on the ground. He turned to leave and right as he got to the door you spoke up. “Sir, what now?”

He simply replied, “You wait until I need you again,” and walked out.  

Taglist:

@devotedlyshadowytheorist, @dxnger-dxys, @tommyshelbywhore, @quinnlilias,@madnessandobsession, @mvpr-moon, @nela-cutie, @faebirdie, @charmed-asylum, @anasanthology, @ilikefictionalmen, @akanne-aka, @no-fooking-fighting,@queenofstresss, @flwrs4aust, @mrkdvidal1989, @00hsv, @laylasbunbunny

(If something is up with your tag or you would like to be added, let me know!)

[writing-for-life]

Dream's Therapist

I’m not sure if I should apologise for this brain fart in advance, but it just found its way to the page after this. Yes, this is how my brain works (or rather doesn’t)…

Intake Session

The client presented for his intake session on 22/04. When he made his appointment, he showed particular interest in the fact that this is an integrative therapy practice which uses cognitive, behavioural, somatic and Jungian approaches and is also versed in sex therapy. Naturally the ethical kind.

He was extremely on time (that is to say, close to three hours early), but he insisted on spending that time in the waiting area instead of coming back later. My receptionist assured me he did not move from the offered chair during that time and that he, in fact, did not move at all. She occasionally had to check (inconspicuously of course) if he was breathing.

Upon entering my office, he was polite if slightly aloof. He was dressed all black and refused to take off his coat. No problems with personal hygiene could be perceived from a distance. After getting seated, he enquired whether I could dim the lights ever so slightly because it was too bright, to which I agreed.

I noticed his staring at the crystal paperweight on my table for an extended period of time before he, seemingly out of nowhere, asked: “I trust your office is a mere illusion, a fleeting moment in existence?”

DT: Something like that I guess. What brings you here?

Dream: Well, I have these recurring nightmares. Not while I am sleeping, since I obviously don’t sleep.

DT: Obviously.

Dream: I create them.

DT: The nightmares?

Dream: Yes. And all of a sudden, they all suffer from… existential dread instead of helping to get rid of it. Also, my hair keeps getting tangled and knotted all the time, but I am not quite… certain if this relates in any way.

DT: Interesting. And how does that make you feel?

Dream (deadpan): Feel? I don't “feel”. I weave narratives, conjure nightmares, and occasionally attend celestial tea parties. Emotions are for mortals. The hair is inconvenient though.

DT: Right. Let's explore your childhood. Did you have any issues with your family?

Dream (I notice uneasy shifting in his seat): My family? My father, always running late. My mother… (I notice a slight tremble in his bottom lip)… well, she is… dark. My sister, Death, tells me I am a buzzkill, especially at family gatherings. Truthfully, I believe all my siblings are just trying to gaslight me into believing so because I can be… quite entertaining? (I notice uncertainty). Plus, one of them is… let's just say: they are the reason I have commitment issues.

DT: Commitment issues. Let’s expand on that a bit. Have you ever been in love?

Dream: (I notice extreme rigidity): Love is a quaint human invention, like gluten-free pizza or reality TV.

DT (I don’t know what that means and ignore it): I sense reluctance around the topic?

(He stares at the paperweight for a good 3 minutes)

Okay, let's try word association. I'll say a word, and you respond with the first thing that comes to mind. Ready?

Dream: Proceed, mortal.

DT: Sand.

Dream (I notice a raised eyebrow and a slightly tetchy sigh): Golden grain sifting through my fingers.

DT: Pillow.

Dream: A convenient weapon during astral battles.

DT (I momentarily feel confused and lose my footing, to which he reacts with)

Dream: I could show you? (I notice he makes a move to get up from his seat)

DT: That won’t be necessary right now… Word association: Unicorn.

Dream: (I notice grave seriousness) My ex-wife. I think.

DT: That should suffice for now. Let’s briefly discuss coping mechanisms. How do you handle stress?

Dream: Stress? When the universe unravels and the fabric of the Dreaming tears, I binge-watch reality shows. The Kardashians, mostly.

DT: Why the Kardashians?

Dream: Distraction. Inspiration. For all manner of things. Mostly nightmares.

DT (I notice the recurring theme of nightmares): Do you hold any hopes or dreams for the future?

Dream (I notice a nervous twitch around his mouth which he tries to hide unsuccessfully): I am the King of Dreams. Dreams shape reality itself. But if you must know, I dream of a world where everyone flosses regularly and understands general relativity.

DT: Why is flossing important?

Dream: I just like good teeth.

DT: Why general relativity?

Dream: Because it would help. With ships.

DT: What ships?

Dream (I notice eye-rolling and bridge-of-nose-pinching): Never mind.

DT: It’s okay, we can talk about anything that seems important to you.

Dream: It is of no import. Is time up yet?

DT: No.

Dream: Good, I shall leave then.

DT (I feel confused but try not to show it and respect the client’s wish to leave. I’m getting paid either way): Same time next week?

Dream (who is already standing): Time is a mere construct. But yes, let us pencil it in. And remember, reality is just a draft…

Further notes: The client suffers from insomnia and thinks he creates nightmares. He potentially has internalised he is one. He seems detached from his feelings to the point he believes he does not have any emotions and does not seem to relate to being human. He feels misunderstood by his whole family and suffers from the delusion that his sister is Death. He makes another of his siblings responsible for his failed relationships, which has led to the ingrained belief that love is not for him. He seems to compensate with believing he is above others and refers to himself as the “King of Dreams”. I notice a tendency to shirk potentially painful topics. He seems to communicate diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities apart from binge-watching TV, but he seems quite enamoured with the concept of astral battles and general relativity, which requires further exploration…

Next Session >

[starlitmark]

𝑴𝒖𝒅𝒅𝒚 𝑷𝒖𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑹𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒃𝒖𝒅𝒔

Summary: If only you knew how to look where you were flying Pairing: garden fairy!San x fem frost fairy!yn Tropes: fairy au Genre: fluff Rating: G Warnings: language but Tinkerbell-ified Word Count: 808 Note: for the Ateez Fairy collab hosted by @cultofdionysusnet

You’re so incredibly late to your duties to start the season-changing. You aren’t a wind fairy, but you fly at a speed that could rival them. As you fly, you take notice of a few blooms starting to sprout from the Earth. The garden fairies are putting their work in to make everything look pretty for the upcoming spring season. Then you see one garden fairy in particular that steals your breath away. He’s stunning, to say the least. He has the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen, and his white blonde hair stands out boldly against the dark green grass he’s surrounded by. You end up being so distracted by him that you don’t look where you’re flying. One moment you’re zipping through the air, and the next, you’re stuck in some sort of soft textured red thing.

“Oh, jingles.” you huff, trying to see if you can find you’re way out of whatever this is.

Suddenly the thing around you opens up, and you see daylight peeking in. As it opens more, you realize you flew directly into a rosebud and managed to get yourself stuck inside. You’re already embarrassed, but when you see the garden fairy that’s helping you, you think it wouldn’t be so bad if you stayed stuck inside the bud. That pretty garden fairy you were stunned by is the one who’s freeing you. You see his pretty smile alongside a deep set of dimples. His pale blonde hair pushed up and out of his face, showing sharp angles. You try to hide in your hands for a moment, hoping that it isn’t reality that he’s helping you.

“What a pretty flower.” he muses from his place on the ground.

“Yeah, yeah.” you sigh, staying sat in the now bloomed rose, “You guys are really putting a lot of effort in this year.” “Oh,” he smiles widely, almost resembling a cat, “I was talking about you.”

You feel the heat of a blush rush through your neck and your cheeks. You hold your face hoping to cool it down. The garden fairy looks amused, though. He’s still smiling brightly at you from the ground.

“You wanna come down here so I can properly introduce myself?” he offers.

You look down at the ground properly this time and realize he’s standing in a large muddy puddle, “I… don’t do mud.” you admit.

He chuckles, “It’s not that bad, see?” he giggles as he stomps down into the mud, some splashing up onto the bottom of his pants. 

You groan, “Watch out, I’m making an ice patch next to you.”

The garden fairy steps sideways and gestures for you to do as you wish. You gently move your hand and watch as the ice crystals form a patch big enough for you to stand comfortably beside him. After flying down, you grimace at the amount of mud around you. The blonde fairy has a bit on his cheek, which he likely doesn’t care about at all.

He reaches his hand out to you, they’re slightly dusted with dirt, but it’s clear he’s trying to give you a friendly gesture. You take it in yours and shake it. Shivers run up and down your spine and through your wings as you make contact with him.

“I’m San,” he smiles, “do I get the pleasure of knowing your name, pretty flower?”

“I’m y/n.” you smile back, “I’d love to stay, but… they need me over at the shift point and-”

“You’re running late,” he chuckles, “I could tell that from the moment I saw you fly into that rosebud.”

You groan again, “Yeah… do you maybe wanna fly over with me? They won’t believe me if I said I got stuck and had to let the handsome garden fairy help me…” you throw your hand over your mouth as soon as you process that you said he was handsome out loud.

San smiles at you, “I’ll go with you if-”

“If?”

“Just walk through the mud. It’s not that bad.” he giggles.

You sigh but tentatively toe into the mud just off of your ice patch. Cringing, you take a deep breath and take a step fully. San walks ahead to where the dry dirt is. The adoration is practically dripping from his eyes. He literally just met you, but he thinks he may risk it all for the pretty frost fairy in front of him. He watches as you cringe with each step. Small whines about how your pale blue and white clothing is getting covered in the dark mud. The moment you reach him, you look at him and huff an exasperated sigh at him.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it, Snowdrop?” he giggles, booping your nose.

“It was horrible. Never make me walk through the mud again.” you whine.

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Tag List: @sanjoongie @jaehunnyy @ericssmile @anyamaris

[charmedreincarnation]

Hi charm. Your posts have helped me lots! Im keeping consistent for once and understand the law and shifting properly. My question is that I’ve been trying to considerate my understanding and application of states and A+P. This sounds stupid but I go back and forth and try to apply them, but the debates about them don’t make sense to me. I think rn I reinstate more with states but some I do prefer to just affirm and I’m just curious on which one you “preferred” and how you applied that to shifting. Thanks 😊

I think it really does depend. I love the law of consciousness, and under that really anything goes. But for me personally, I really do think there’s a point of no return when it comes to A and P and states. Just in my experience, feel free to believe and do what you like. First and foremost, your beliefs are more important in your reality. But I feel like everyone says that so often. If you don’t understand that, it's not really my job to coddle anyone at this point 😭😭 everyone is their own god and that’s the most important thing to understand.

But I started my journey back in 2020 when I was 16, and I manifested so much with mirror work and affirmations because I didn’t know about the law, and honestly I barely knew anything about manifesting either. I was only a shifter. And all my shifting friends, not on Tumblr, who shifted pretty easily and I consider "master shifters" (not that it exists or matters), honestly didn’t get into LOA either. They just affirmed (but used LOA, by knowing they’d wake up in their desired reality without knowing). Ever since then, they don’t gripe in the community because sometimes ignorance rlly is bliss. If I was in 2020 and stuck with that, I would have gotten everything so easily. But looking back, somethings happen for a reason because the desires and drs I wanted at 16 are nothing like the life/drs I want and have right now. I’m so grateful I struggled for a bit; it was a blessing in disguise 😭😭😭.

Around that time, I hated LOA because I talked about this in a different ask, but my favorite master shifter on Reddit (I’m an OG Reddit girl) who brought LOA to Reddit eventually left because she claimed she thought she was mentally ill, and shifting is psychosis. So I hated Neville and LOA for a while, which is so funny, because what did he do? I also didn’t like states because none of my shifting friends knew about that, and all shifting was just knowing and affirming. I wanted to do that too, not live in my head or whatever I understood states as.

I obviously eventually learned about LOA properly and learned so much about the "mechanics" and origins and over-consumed, just like a lot of you guys. When I tried to go back to A+P, I struggled so much because I really did believe in states. I thought about my horrible childhood, but how I got through it was knowing and believing in magic and my eternal happiness. From ages 9-14, I was a very happy and lucky child despite my circumstances and depression, because I was in the state of someone who had it all. I always knew life was more than what we can see with our eyes, so really, I knew A+P wasn’t really what was working, it was my state. But I refused to admit that for a while and got mad when my affirmations stopped working (that’s what I mean by point of no return).

Also, my shifting friends are using states, and when I started asking them about it, they started talking learned about their methods and how they suceeed easily. Most of them used some variation of SATS without knowing and music to fulfill their inner man and know that, regardless, they’ll wake up in their desired reality. So I started doing the same, and that’s how I manifested my first shift.

But everyone is so different. Like look at all the success stories. Some people just use science and logic with lucid dreaming steps. A lot of people in LOA now didn’t even use LOA to manifest at first or get into the void or whatever. Some people shift without knowing or by accident, etc., etc. The point is understanding states helped me because that’s the type of person I am; I like knowing the mechanics behind the seemingly magic. But maybe you don’t, maybe you don’t care about states, you know they’re behind everything but don’t care. That’s all good too. I don’t care how anyone achieves or understands the law to get their dream life, as long as they’re not spreading misinformation. The law is about you and understanding what fulfills you; you don’t need to follow debates to fulfill yourself.

A lot of people feel very strongly about their beliefs because it’s what helped them achieve their dream life, so they’ll die on hills for it. And I honestly get it; that’s how you feel about shifting. So I really don’t like when people try to dunk on it or like "debunk it." And that’s how everyone feels for their beliefs; it’s the human in us, we feel strongly about our passions. But don’t let people make you feel bad about your beliefs. Sometimes Tumblr can get like middle school-esque with the labels and drama, but again, it’s a good reminder that no matter how godly you are, we still have our human shell, and that’s oddly comfortable to me so I don’t care that much tbh. Just do you girl, at the end of the day it’s your happiness that matters

[jayden-killer]

Heyaaa! Saw your requests were open, is it alright if I ask for moon knight with a reader who overworked themselves and sort of just collapsed? It's okay if not thankuuu <3

REASSURING WORDS.

Moonknight boys x gender neutral reader.

Omfg this is my first request IM SO HAPPY thank you so much for requesting and i hope you will like it!<33 Remember you can request at the top of my profile button, 'Ask me anything!'. :DD

☆

You know when work is so much, but like so much, and you don’t have a moment of peace? That. The workload I had accumulated in the days before was impressive, and I was almost amazed at the work I had to do. Eating seemed like a waste of time, drinking seemed like a waste of time... And if I needed to fulfill my duties, I had to do it without unnecessary breaks or interruptions. That’s why I warned my three boyfriends, Jake, Marc and Steven, not to worry about my sudden disappearance. ''Don’t worry, I just have a lot of work to do.' Xxx :)))' Something told me they would worry. They would understand, right?

Everything seemed so.. Complicated. Maybe, I should have continued. But the concentration began to disappear and slowly my eyes closed, and the breath regularized. Leaning my head on the wooden desk I closed my eyes, succumbing to the sleep so rejected.

«Love? Are you awake?»

A voice as sweet as honey brought me back to reality. I felt a sweet shake of my body, waking up from that 'nap' I had promised myself to have. And, in an instant, I found the hazel eyes that I loved so much about Steven. He smiled at me. «Love, I see that you’ve collapsed. What... What’s going on?» he asked me in a concerned tone.

Rubbing my eyes, I checked the time. 7.39 fucking pm. The last time I checked the time was 4.11 pm. Man, that nap took longer than I expected.

«It’s okay, Steven. The job’s just a lot, but I’ll be fine.»

He sighed loudly, fidgeting with his fingers. «Lovie, I know you have a lot to do. Believe me, I appreciate how much you try, but...It's dangerous for your health.»

«Hey, it's okay. I-I think...»

«You’re trying harder than you should.»

Steven’s sweet tone changed to a harsher one, yet concerned. Even his eyes changed from sweet to almost expressionless.

Marc. It could only be him.

«Hello to you too, Marc. And no, I’m sure I’m not putting my health at risk. I’d stop in time otherwise."

He made a mocking noise. «I, no, we know your habits very well. And we all know that you would risk your health for something as trivial as...this.» He pointed rather angrily at the work table, filled with papers to fill in and the computer, which had an open document not yet complete.

«Marc...»

Marc tilted his head to the side and stared at the computer screen. I turned to look where he was looking and thought he was seeing Jake’s reflection there. Suspicions were confirmed when he rested on the mental conversation he was having with the latter. «They're are not well! I can see that well, I am not stupid yet, man.»He Inhaled and shook his head, pinching his nose. «All right. Try talking to them, since you know what to do every time."

And here his facial features harden more than before, shifting to an expression of pure anger. Now Jake crossed his arms, but there was a half-smile on his face. «Florecito, Steven, Marc and I believe you should rest properly. So whether you want it or not, we will drag you into bed and let you relax. ¿Has entendido?»

Maybe I didn’t deserve them. I didn’t deserve how they paid me so much attention so easily, like it was the most normal thing in the world. I had always put work above everything else, risking losing even important hours of sleep for the previous day. Jake took me gently by the arm, so I got up from the chair and looked him right in the eyes. I could feel Steven and Marc behind those eyes.

«You’re right. I’m not gonna finish this without resting and eating at least.» I showed him a smile, and he smiled back, tracing the index finger on my forearm. «It’s my fault, florecito. Ah, ¡callense! Steven and Marc say that it’s not that I have to take all the credit.» I laughed at seeing my three guys fighting each other.«It’s thanks to all three of you that I’ll be better by tomorrow.» I left a kiss on Jake’s lips gently, and he took me by the hips, bringing me more to himself, adjusting his hair dishevelled.

«Ah, I’d be lost without your help, guys!»

[wonfilms]

sunghoon was planning an ice-skating date. you’d been together for over a year now and he couldn’t believe he’d never thought about it before.  it was all perfectly laid out in his head, everything he wanted to show you. he went all out to make it something special, he decided to take you to the ice rink where he’d first learned how to skate.

the ice was like his second home, it was somewhere he had a lot of good memories and he just wanted to share it with you. he was smiling from ear to ear  his eyes were twinkling and he couldn’t wait to tell you what he had in store for the two of you. 

well.. that was until he saw your face drop at his idea. “uhm.. babe.. i have something to tell you.” you mumbled looking down at your shoes sheepishly. he quirked an eyebrow at your words, concerned. he was expecting the worst, had he upset you earlier ? gosh he’s so stupid! ? were you breaking up with him? that was definitely it-

“i can’t skate.“ 

sunghoon was shaken out of his spiralling thoughts. “what??” 

 you felt the heat rise to your cheeks in embarrassment. “thank god” you heard him sigh in relief. “so you’re not breaking up with me!“ 

“what?? when did i say that?” you question as sunghoon pulls you in for a hug. “that’s nothing! i can teach you!“ he smiles widely, you couldn’t bear to upset him so you agreed. in reality you found nothing more terrifying than standing on ice with literal blades as support. 

when the day rolled around you couldn’t stop that twisted feeling arising in the pit of your stomach, though you knew sunghoon would be, oh so, careful with you. you watched his tie his laces with ease before standing up to stretch. you couldn’t stop your hands from trembling as you tried to knot the lies on your own skates. 

“need some help?” he smiled as he knelt down on his knees and took the ice skates on your feet into his hands. you tried to calm the nervous jittering of your leg as he did his work by focusing on the way his warm breath condensed in the coldness of the rink. “sunghoon” you whispered reaching to tilt his head up to face you. “hmmm?”

“i’m scared.“ 

you felt his movements cease as he let go of your ice skate, “i’m sorry, this is so embarrassing, i know it’s just ice but-” you ramble before he takes your shaking hands into his own. “you know it’s okay to be scared y/n, i was terrified the first time i skated..” he said rubbing small circles on your palm for comfort.

“i’ll take good care of you. okay?” he smiles and you feel your heart squeeze with his affection, “you promise you won’t let go of me?” you whisper. “i promise.” he says before standing up and leading you to the ice. he extends his arms as soon as he gets his balance on the rink , signalling you to hold on. 

you’re still nervous as you reach out to hold him, but once you feel the warmth of sunghoon against you , you feel safe and sound. 

“we’ll go super slow okay?“ he says , skating backwards slowly. you attempt poorly to copy his actions which leads you you skidding a little almost falling backwards. he grabs your arm in time pulling your forward toward him. your heart thuds against your chest in a panic, “don’t worry, i’ve got you!” he shouts, “just hold on to my chest okay and follow me”

and he does. he held you close allowing you to imitate his actions slowly before picking up the pace. “see you’re skating! you barely needed my help!” he smiles widely when he realises your feet are moving at the same rate as his. “oh my gosh” you whisper, you felt a surge of proudness arise at your achievement.  you look up at sunghoon with a grin , his nose and cheeks are red and you feel butterflies build up in your body at his praise. “just move your feet in time with mine yeah?” you nod following his directions.

“i’ll come to your side and hold your hand now okay?“ 

you feel him shift to your right and slip his hand in yours before skating at a steady pace forward. you feel yourself skate alongside him and you realise you’re no longer nervous.

you were left  with a sense of relief at how simple it really was, especially with someone like sunghoon teaching you. you finally let yourself relax and notice how beautiful it all really was. you were so wound up in your worries that you didn’t notice how happy sunghoon looked now that you two were finally skating. a sweet smile played on his lips and he hummed along to the song playing on the speaker at the top of the rink. 

“you really like it here don’t you . babe?“ you say softly  “god i love it, i’m so glad you’re here“ he whispers, you squeeze his hand as the two of you stop to get a breather.  you pull him in by his scarf and place a kiss on his lips, he’s so warm compared to the cold air that’s flowing around the building and you feel yourself melt into his touch.

“thank you for coming here with me, even though you were nervous” he says leaning his forehead on yours. “it means so much to me”

“you don’t need to thank me sunghoon, seeing you happy like this means so much to me .“ you say before leaning up to kiss him again. you feel him smile against your lips and you feel the remnants of your nervous jitters melt away. 

a/n : this is my first enhypen fic so i hope my representation of sunghoon is alright! i really love this man, i just had to write for him ah!