#and your brain is telling you to get up but eventually it gets tired too and lays with you

[bethereasonyousucceed444]

It has to happen because you made the rules

Hi babyyyy

I hope you’re not procrastinating

I feel like you are

Lemme tell you this then

STOP PROCRASTINATING STOP BEING LAZY

Dude you’re literally just laying down

How much lazier could getting in the void state get?

You’re “trying”

You’re asking “how”

There’s only so many “how’s” before you realize

There’s no more information to pile up

How about you just lay down

Forget everything your desires included

Just chill

My baby you’re too cute to be stressed

Stop doing that

Yo you don’t get this stressed to go to sleep do you?

I’m confused

So you can say dream

Sleep

Disassociate

Fantasize etc

You mean to tell me you can do ALL THESE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR 3D

But you can’t get in the void?

Yeah that’s right

You can’t

Why?

Cuz you assumed it

This is your life bitch

So why are you fighting against yourself?

You’re the one who discovered this

You’re the one who has been here since the beginning of YOUR time(birth)

You’re the one who’s gonna be in YOUR life forever

And YOU discovered the void and LOA

So if anything

Your self concept should be sky high

Cuz you’re that bitch

And you’ll always be

Nobody is above you

We are all baddies

We are all god

We are all powerful

All you’re doing

Is what I always tell you

On my other posts

Lay down

Use a method or don’t

It’s up to you

Use a subliminal or don’t

Your choice

But vibe

Literally don’t even think of your desires and don’t think of the void as a place

It’s not a place

It’s an experience

You dream

Not a place but an experience

Everything you’re doing

Even right now is an experience

Your home is a place

But you living in it and doing things in it

Is experiencing it

Experience is not equivalent to a place because places like homes restaurants etc are just places

Experiences would be whatever happens IN those places but it’s got nothing to do with the buildings

It’s what YOU are doing that creates the experience you had/have

It’s the energy that you have your awareness

Like you could see a house

Cool

By creating memories IN that house

You experienced living in it

That creates such experiences

I know it sounds confusing but let me break it down

The void is not a place

It’s an experience

Because when you’re openly willing to experience something you’re unconsciously giving yourself freedom and power and control to do that thing

Like I said

OPENLY experiencing

Because I know we all “experienced”(I’m tired of using this word now lol) some things that weren’t good

But guess what

You still hold the power to change those “experiences”

The void is inside of you

You can’t “go” there

You become aware of it and you experience it

It’s not a house

It’s not the bakery

It’s you

Your desires were yours the moment you said that you wanted it so there’s no need to worry or constantly try to get in the void only to get your desires if that’s your only goal

You’re cooked

Because why as a god

Are you so desperate to get your desires?

Chill bro

Your subconscious knows you better than you do

Because it developed way faster than you it makes up 95% of our brain power

You come out the womb already knowing how to cry

How to blink

Etc

Yes you eventually learn to walk crawl etc

Why

Because it was embedded into your subconscious mind in how to do that

You can still walk

And you’re how old? Think about it

Your subconscious mind IS THAT powerful it remembers everything you learned as a baby

It remembers things you don’t

Like mastering the void as a newborn

Who knows how many times we’ve probably accidentally gotten in the void as a little baby

I’ve heard stories about people saying they had to get in the void as a CHILD! But they didn’t know what it was

It’s meant to happen

You discovered the void

Not by accident

Although we can all enter everyday me in the world is capable what makes you special is that

YOU know you can

Others don’t

You discovered it for a reason

It’s meant to be

Things that are meant for you

A apart of you and it can never be APART from you

The void is kinda like your soulmate

It’s gonna always be there

It’s always been with you

Will always be

And no matter how much you procrastinate complain overcomplicate stress over nothing

You’re still gonna enter the void

Why

Because this was your first experience

You’re a pro at this already

You’ve been unconsciously doing this since your mothers womb

If you do something repeatedly on accident you can do it on purpose

Good day

Much love 🩵🩵

P.S Everyone has different opinions on what the void is

Or how they enter

This is mine only flow with what you resonate with

I love you Good Luck Queens!!!!

[love-3-crimes]

Your [silence] deafens more than any sound

[casualhedonists]

✩ it don’t need your loving, it just needs attention ✩ (chapter five)

pairing: Coriolanus Snow x reader

warnings: NSFW (18+), snow being snow, themes of sex work (not the reader), cuckolding, eventual smut, fake relationship, unprotected sex, themes of voyeurism & mild exhibitionism, murder/violence mention (but no actual murder) , MAJOR manipulation/gross power dynamics + generally darkish themes, some power play, lots of switching between dom/sub dynamics, oral sex, thigh riding, face sitting, degradation, dirty talk, edging/orgasm denial, roughhousing, eventual piv, one chapter specific dubcon scene (pls tell me if i forgot anything!)

chapter: 5/6

words: um. 9.5k (sorry? but also you're welcome??)

chapter warnings: this chapter contains a scene that falls solidly into dubcon territory, so please proceed with caution, stay safe out there.

moodboards

series masterlist

a/n: WELL. here we are, almost at the end of our little rollercoaster ride. i've lost brain cells over this chapter, almost cut it up into smaller chunks, but ended up leaving it as long as i originally planned (longer, in fact. whoops). as always, feedback is very welcome + encouraged (i love hearing/reading your thoughts as things progress) buckle up, please do take note of the dubcon warning, prepare for the angst, and most importantly, enjoy!

i do not give permission for my work to be reposted/translated anywhere, under any circumstances.

He was back to ignoring you again.

But this time, the feeling was mutual. You’d never felt as thoroughly rejected as you did the night he had you walk back to your room, legs weak, wrapped in nothing but his shirt.

Once upon a time, this scenario would have been one you dreamed of, but reality often falls flat on its face. You wouldn’t have dreamt of walking away from him like this if you’d known it would feel this empty.

Humiliation ran rampant through your body, starting with the tears you blinked away as you left his room, closing the door behind you, and then flooding over as you stepped into your own room, slumping on the bed, curling up into yourself and weeping, pressing your still aching legs together but too upset to finish yourself off.

You kicked yourself for getting carried away, for getting too loud, too possessive with his face between your thighs and your hand in his hair. For getting so caught up in the moment, briefly forgetting your games, and for believing even for a second that you would be on the same page.

This push and pull had begun to wear you thin, and you were tired. So, you slept. Until nearly midday the next morning, when Lucille knocked on your door to remind you it was time for your monthly PR debrief.

The good news, though arguable at this point, was that your arrangement hadn’t been affected by recent events. At least, not on paper. Cordelia ran you through each gala, public appearance, and dinner, barely noticing your preoccupation, rambling on about speeches, coordinating outfits, dates and times of events, what to say and how to say it.

For you - and you could only imagine, Coriolanus too - everything had changed over the span of a month. 

Your shame made you abnormally quiet, head hung low, gaze averted, nodding along as Cordelia prompted either a response or approval from you. Snow just stared, glancing at her only when completely necessary, but otherwise, he didn’t take his eyes off you.

He was enjoying this. The sick fuck. You were glad when the meeting ended and you could scamper into the library, eager to lose yourself in a story of any kind other than the one you were living.

This went on. By day, you barely looked at him; by night, you tried over and over to prove that your own fingers were enough to keep you satisfied. To convince yourself that you just wanted him, you didn’t need him.

Because if you needed him, then he called the shots. He would win. And victorious as he may seem, the game wasn’t over yet. You’d slipped up in a moment of vulnerability, he’d tricked you into a corner just to prove his point.

You wanted him, you didn’t need him. But if you did… well.

He was going to have to need you more.

You held back this time. Keeping your cards safe, close to your chest. In a strange way, you found a kind of solace in your arrangement. Recent events had caused it to feel unstable, breakable even, but the meeting had ensured that it was all still on the right track. It allowed you to take a small piece of what you wanted from him without guilt or repercussions. After all, it was planned out to benefit you both. Then, when you were ready, and with a gentle hand, you began to weaponise it, loading it up in the barrel of a gun aimed directly at Snow.

You didn't have much left, but you had this. You knew where your promiscuity had led you. This time, you wanted to pull on his heart strings. Make him feel remorse, or whatever similar emotion he was capable of. Make him soften to you. Torture him with almosts that were never enough.

So when you took, you took cautiously, tentatively. You deepened your usually light kisses to what was just past socially acceptable, only to pull back when Snow began to lean in, turning away and smiling at the people surrounding you, or full-on entering into conversation with somebody else. You'd brush your thumb against his when you held hands, waiting for him to look at you, drawing your hand away when he did. You'd offer smiles to everyone but him, talk and laugh a little louder when you could feel him watching.

You pretended he didn’t exist. You could feel him begin to simmer. It wasn't as brazen as your usual game, but it was working.

Until it wasn’t.

“Something’s wrong, what is it?”

Lucille’s face dropped, her shaking hands lowering from the zip she was struggling with. You were getting ready for a luncheon, and you’d picked out an emerald green dress, one of your favorites for daytime events.

“I’d hoped you wouldn’t notice, ma’am. I apologise. It’s my brother, he… it’s getting worse again.”

“Sit down for a second. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

You listened to Lucille open up uncomfortably, visibly nervous that you would offer your financial support as you’d done before. But you didn’t, sparing her from having to turn you down.

Lucille was stubborn - she would never accept your charity. She was more than happy to work for her wages, and frequently worked longer hours. As months went by, you’d brought her pay up as high as you could without her noticing. But now things were getting more critical, and you knew there was only one thing you could do.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Go and see your brother.”

“But you’re not dressed-”

“I’ll take care of it. Go home, Lucille. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

She smiled softly.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

You’d tried with the zip, you really had. You didn’t want to have to knock on Snow’s office door with two favors to ask instead of one, but the dress was tight and the zip kept getting jammed. So, there you stood, dress half undone at the back, heart in your throat. You counted your blessings; at least it wasn’t his bedroom. You didn’t think you could face him at all in there. You heard typing from inside.

“Come in.”

You pushed the door open, feeling like an intruder.

“Sorry, I just… Could you help me with this?” Your hand tightened behind your back, holding the dress together.

He narrowed his eyes. He was already in his suit, typewriter on the desk in front of him.

“Lucille forget how to do her job?”

“I don’t need snide right now. Please, Coriolanus? I’ll explain when I’m not half naked. It’s drafty in here.”

You tried to make it clear in your tone that this wasn’t some ploy. You weren’t sure you had many of those left to offer.

“Fine.” He sighed, and stood, making no motion towards you, so you crossed the room, gripping onto the fabric, turning your back to him.

His hand came to rest on your waist as the other took the zipper, and you tried not to flinch at his touch. You pressed your lips together as he carefully zipped you up, cold metal sending a chill down your spine. Or maybe that was just him. You felt your eyes slide shut and your lips part as his hand lingered on your waist. You couldn’t hear anything but your heartbeat and the tick of his grandfather clock.

“Is that okay? Not too tight?” His breath on your neck gave you goosebumps, you hoped desperately that he wouldn’t notice.

“No, it’s perfect. Thank you.”

The second his hand fell from your waist, you missed it. You carefully met his eye; he was looking at you like you had something he wanted.

So why hadn’t he wanted you? You’d been right there, and he’d turned you down.

He cleared his throat.

“I should finish this letter before we leave. Was there anything else?”

You paused.

“Actually, there is. Could I ask you a favor?” You glanced off to the side, suddenly very interested in the knots of wood on his desk. What helped was that you'd never seen inside this room before, and you hid behind your curiosity like it was a lifeline.

“What is it?”

“It’s…” you lowered your voice, “it’s about Lucille. Her brother, actually. He’s in the hospital again. The family can’t afford the medical bills to keep him in for as long as he needs. I’d like to foot the bill, but I can’t do it anonymously. I thought… well, I was wondering if you could pull a few strings.”

You were overexplaining, something you weren’t at all used to doing, but these days, just being in the same room as him made you nervous. You stared at his desk, at the lack of photographs on it, the single pen laying to the side, the smoothness of the glaze.

It was quiet for a moment.

“Consider it done.”

You looked up.

“Really?”

“Did you think I’d say no?” He asked.

“I- no, but…”

“It’s something that matters to you.”

You blinked, dumbfounded at how simply he put it.

“Yes. It is. Thank you, Coriolanus.”

“Don’t mention it. I’ll make sure it’s anonymous.”

“Thank you. Or, I mean…”

He looked at you, and you wanted to melt. Wanted to throw strategy out the window, god, but -

You couldn’t. It hadn’t worked last time. You’d hoped to avoid a stalemate, but here you were, sat right in the middle of one.

“The car’s coming in a half hour. Are you almost ready?” He asked.

“Yes. Almost.”

The luncheon was going well, at first. You were at the head of a large table, sat beside Snow, straightening your salad fork as he stood up to make a speech. You’d been glancing at him throughout the afternoon; it wasn’t so hard to anymore. It felt like his willingness to help Lucille without question, just because it was what you wanted, had more of an effect on you in five minutes than the entire week of your teasing had on him. One conversation, and the tides had changed.

As he began talking, you started to realise that your gentler approach may have been affecting you more than it had him. The party was transfixed; people loved to hear him talk, and you were proud. He had a certain way with words; you knew better than anyone. You’d fallen victim to them.

You weren’t sure why his words affected you – you’d been there, you’d agreed when Cordelia had suggested he say something nice about you in this particular speech, really make the crowd swoon, lay it on thick - but when he started to talk about you, about how proud he was to have you by his side, how strong you were-

You knew he was just reciting a script written for him, but you couldn’t help it. The tears began to quietly fall. You thanked whatever higher being was listening for not letting anyone notice.

Or so you thought.

It was just typical that out of all the people that could’ve noticed, the one person who knew better was the only one who did.

The rest of them would’ve brushed it off as you simply being moved by emotion, honored by his kind words. You blinked away your tears, taking small, polite sips of your wine. It was painful because you knew it wasn’t true. None of it was, you knew he could never say those words and mean them.

And he knew that too.

It was dark when you got home, and you trailed behind him awkwardly on your way upstairs.

“Can I have a word?” his voice was gentle, and it set you on edge.

“Sure.”

You stood awkwardly in the hallway, then he led you into the office. He leaned against his desk, and you shifted your feet where you stood, eyes on the floor, on the art on the walls, on anything other than him.

“You were upset today.” He started.

You swallowed.

“It won’t happen again, I promise.” you kept your voice steady. He paused.

“If that was my fault, I apologise. If I took it too far, if I upset you-”

You weren’t sure which part he was talking about, but you finally looked at him in a sort of distant defiance.

“Do you even care if I’m upset?”

“Of course I do. Especially when it’s something that affects you… publicly.”

You huffed, forcing yourself to stare him down.

“Because that’s all that matters, right? What the public sees?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Sure it is. It’s okay, Snow. I’m a big girl. And I can take a hint, too. So don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine. Business as usual, right?”

He just stared, puzzled. You took a breath.

“Look, it’s been a long day. Can I go, or are you going to keep me here all night?”

The silence was like smoke, clouding between you. His brow furrowed, calculating. Then he sighed, long and heavy, and you tried not to let it phase you.

“Fine. Go.”

You nodded.

“Goodnight.”

You’d never been more relieved to get away from him. Your broken walls were starting to build back up. You wouldn’t let him break you, you couldn’t. You were stronger than this.

That night, for the first time, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was truly what you wanted.

“Darling, you look ravishing.” Lilian drawled. “It’s a pity Snow is so far across the room, and can’t appreciate you. If I dressed half as nicely as you did, perhaps my dear husband wouldn’t be screwing the maid.”

A scandalised chorus of giggles erupted from the group. It was a pretty dress, one of your best. Long and smooth black fabric, ruched at the waist, with a deep cut up the leg that was just acceptable for an evening gala. You stood tall, champagne glass in hand, gossiping with your friends.

Well.

Friends was being generous. You kept few true friends, and they would hardly be gossiping in a circle like this.

Acquaintances was a better fit. Pawns if you were being brutally honest. Politicians’ wives, senators’ mistresses, a chancellor’s daughter or two. Pieces of chess, really, in this bigger game. Anyone who could help you climb higher, whisper carefully spun words into open ears at your whim.

“I just know George would rip that dress off me the moment I got home. He might not even be able to wait, and just pull me into a closet here instead.”

Another eruption of giggles.

“Well, I’m flattered, my darlings.” You smiled. “This is one of my favorites. Coriolanus treats me well.”

“I’m sure he does,” a suggestive glance from Lilian, “in all the ways one would expect, I assume?”

You gasped in mock modesty.

“Lilian,” you drawled, “I certainly hope you’re not suggesting I disclose our-”

“Oh, just tell us dear, please. We’re all dying to know. You’re always so coy about it. What’s he like?”

You pulled your lips into a knowing smile, your perfectly painted face helping you slide into this facade. You scanned your eyes across the ballroom, across to Snow. He stood talking to a group of men, colleagues of his. You recognised their faces.

It had been four days since the luncheon. Four days since your outburst. Four days of hiding away. You’d been dreading tonight’s gala, but it gave you an excuse to dress nicely, and as soon as you’d arrived, you and Coriolanus has gone your separate ways.

“Well,” you hummed, masking your uncertainty as anticipation, “he can be a slight tease.”

A few dramatic gasps sounded through the group, and you turned back to face them, their eyes wide and expectant.

“Salacious. Do tell.” Another voice piped up with a giggle.

“He can be fun to toy with. I do enjoy pushing back, but sometimes he takes it… a little far.” You said carefully.

“My, who would have known? But you get what you want, my dear, surely.” Lilian asked.

You smiled, glancing back at him, suit pristine with a white rose in his breast pocket. You hated how good he looked. He was smiling politely at the group of men around him, but you could tell from the tick in his jaw that something was bothering him.

“Sometimes, I do. Others, I wait for my chance to push his buttons right back.”

“Oh, but where’s the fun in that? I don’t suppose,” she pressed, “that you’re in one of those… entanglements at the moment?”

“Lilian, darling, you know I don’t kiss and tell.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Another giggle sounded from the group.

“Oh, my.” Lilian repeated, glancing between the two of you. “I do hope you’ve been making him suffer.”

“Well, I’m playing a longer game this time, so I’m afraid there hasn’t been as much fun lately.”

Lilian sucked in a breath, like the perfect idea had just dawned on her.

“Well, I see no moment like the present. You’re here, you’re dressed marvellously, I propose you walk right over there and show him just what he’s missing.”

A chorus of yes and do it and we’ll cheer you ons rang out. Loosened by the champagne, you looked across the room at him again. You could do it. He wouldn’t be able to react, it would be the most perfect torture. You suddenly decided that you were done making small moves, done playing it safe like this was some schoolgirl crush. It was time to step up to the mark again. Take your power back.

Your group could sense the newfound determination in you. You smiled, slow and cunning.

Show him what he’s missing.

Simple. It’s what you did best.

“Watch and learn, ladies.”

A hush fell over the group as they watched you run a hand through your hair, handed your glass to one of them, and pressed your lips together. Before you’d left the house you’d added a swipe of red lipstick, dark red, almost bloodlike. It always made you feel more confident and tonight, you needed the pick me up.  

The middle of the ballroom was practically empty; the dancing was over, and everyone had long since gathered in groups to the sides. So you turned heads when you stepped out, the only one on the floor, black satin hugging your frame like a second skin. You didn’t look at them, you made a steady beeline to Snow. You felt more and more eyes on you as you crossed the room, heels clicking on the floor. They all watched, waiting for… something. Coriolanus didn’t look up until you were a mere few steps away, now deep in some conversation he was going to forget very shortly.

Blue eyes flashed to yours with a confused apprehension, but you didn’t give yourself time to think about the twitch of his brow, or the looks on the faces of his colleagues. You didn’t think about the way he opened his mouth as if to say something, only for it to be swallowed away.

You didn’t think about any of that.

Because your lips were on his.

Hot and hungry, teeth clashing, your hand grabbing the back of his neck as he leaned in, surprised at first, then warm, wanting. Lips tugging at yours like he was starving.

It was sinful.

You’d never been kissed like this before. Your fuzzy brain wondered how you’d gone through life not knowing what this felt like, the press of his lips devouring yours, heated and messy.

He kissed you like breathing, like you were his oxygen supply. His hand slid to your waist and pulled you in, and you heard the echoes of chuckling coming from around you, morphing into a few light claps.

Then, just as you felt him fully melt into you, your hand slipped higher to the nape of his neck, grabbing a fistful of perfect platinum curls, and tugged.

It was nothing but an affectionate display to the people surrounding you, but a brazen reminder between the two of you. It was your way of showing you hadn’t forgotten, that you wouldn’t be made to feel ashamed, to cower in a corner while he got the better of you.

Not in this lifetime.

The second it happened, his breath hitched, and his hand tensed on your waist. You were the only one who caught it, getting high off the satisfaction, finally pulling away.

You weren’t sure you’d ever seen a prettier sight; his blown-out eyes, his face stained with scarlet.  

How’s that for tasting your own medicine.

Watching him attempt to collect himself was sweeter still. Watching him reset his face into one of distant amusement. He let out a small laugh, glanced at the rest of the party.

“Everything alright, doll? Had a little much champagne, perhaps?”

His colleagues chuckled, but you didn’t look their way. You stood your ground. Offered a sweet smile, but he could see your slyness.

“Oh, I’m swell. And I think I’ve had just enough, actually. I’m gonna go freshen up.”

You turned on your heel and made your way through winding halls to the bathroom, riding an adrenaline high. You picked up a glass from a server’s tray along the way – the champagne had dried out, all they were serving now was posca, which while disgusting, worked a treat to take the edge off. It wasn’t long before the door swung open and you saw Coriolanus appear behind you in the mirror.

“This is the ladies’ room, handsome.” You looked away, continuing to reapply your lipstick.

He stepped closer.

“What was that kiss about, sweetheart?” Straight to the point.

“Nothing.” You shrugged.

“Didn’t feel like nothing.”

“That’s called acting, Snow.”  You rolled your eyes, vaguely aware that your words sounded a little jumbled. You put the tube of lipstick away. “We had an audience. A rather expectant one at that.”

He folded his arms.

“I don’t like it when you catch me off guard like that. Not with people around.”

“Seemed to like it plenty to me.” You mumbled.

He didn’t answer, pacing past you to the other sink, grabbing a towel and wiping it against his face, where the red had stained his skin. It only served to spread it around further, and if you weren’t already smugly entertained by the marks you’d left on him, now it was just plain funny.

He glared at you when you laughed.

“Don’t give me that look. Here,” you offered, stepping across to him, taking the towel and wetting it, “let me.”

You wiped at a patch, but he snatched the towel back and took over.

“No, you’re rubbing it too hard. It’s-” he glowered at you – “fine. Do it your way.”

You went back to lean against your sink and took another sip of posca, admiring the ornate decorations in the room. A little excessive, a little new money for your tastes.

There was a rap on the door.

“President Snow?”

“Just a minute.” He said coolly.

“You’re in a mood tonight.” You remarked, and he huffed.

“Running a country can get exhausting. Don’t expect you to understand.”

“Right.” You said flatly. “Because I’m just a brainless pawn like everybody else.”

He looked over at you, at the drink in your hand.

“How many of those have you had?”

You shrugged again, and he tossed the towel into the sink, walking over to you.

“Answer me.” His voice was stern, and for a second, you soaked it in, drenched in the danger as he approached, closing in. Your tongue slipped out to wet your lips, and your eyes followed his as he moved to stand in front of you.

“Shame you don’t have someone to let all that frustration out on, isn’t it? Sounds like that could be helpful.”

His eyes pierced yours.

“Doll-”

“I’m just saying, it’s a pity you don’t.” You moved to bring the glass to your lips, anticipating the burn in your throat, but he gently stopped your hand.

“Okay, that’s enough.”

“Posca? It’s my first glass.” You smiled, eyes batting.

“You know what I mean. I think you should stop.”

You looked at the glass, then back at him, and pried your hand away, slowly and pointedly taking another sip.

“Sweetheart.” He warned.

“What, are you punish me? Gonna make me beg for you then kick me out again? Already did that once.”

He gave an incredulous half-laugh.

“That’s what this is about? You’re not really going to be mad about that forever, are you?”

“That depends. How long is forever?”

The door knocked again, and he worked the glass out of your hand.

“Drink some water. Sober up. We’ll talk about this when we get home.”

You sighed, heading for the door, but glanced back at him, his face still a stained mess. You brushed a finger against your own cheek to mirror his.

“You missed a spot.”

You sat in silence in his office, feeling a little like a schoolchild caught misbehaving. His typing was the only sound in the room. The seat was low; almost as if it was there to point out his authority over anyone who sat in it. Knowing him, it probably was.

He’d managed to clean off the rest of your lipstick, but his face looked rubbed raw, uncomfortable. A tall glass of water sat on the desk in front of you.

“Thought you said we’d talk.”

“Not until you finish that glass. I’m not talking to you inebriated.”

“Seriously?”

He shot you a look from behind his typewriter.

“Fine. Whatever.” You reached for it and took a few sips. He looked back down again. A few folders cluttered the desk, and in your boredom, your eyes scanned them. They looked complicated; legal.

“What are you writing there anyway? Or am I too dumb to understand?”

He offered another unimpressed glance.  

“It’s a new bill I’m trying to pass. Except apparently, I’m the only one around here with their head screwed on enough to work on it.”

You waited as Snow pushed the typewriter’s lever, carriage sliding the page as he began writing the next line. You sipped your water.

He sighed. “One day I won’t have to mingle with these idiots anymore. They’ll just listen to me, and obey.”

You took that in.

“Do you feel that way about me?”

He studied you for a second, and stopped typing.  

“No. Not really.”

“But you wish I’d be more… compliant.” You stared at the floor.

“Not necessarily.”

“You sure? Didn’t seem to like it the other night.”

His eyes narrowed. Knowing this conversation was a game of chess like any other. But lately the stakes were higher than ever.

“Never said I didn’t like it. Just that you were out of line.”

“And where is that fucking line?” You snapped. “I’m serious, Snow, because we’ve never talked about it.”

“You want to talk, all of a sudden? Okay, sweetheart. Fire away.”

You put the glass down on the table, heavier than intended.

“I just don’t understand you, Coriolanus. I mean, first you don’t want me, then you do want me, then you don’t again. And now what? I don’t know what I’m supposed to think when you don’t give me anything to go off.”

He watched you carefully, and you wanted to shake him, to scream, anything that would give you answers. You stood, unable to sit still, and started pacing.

“You know what’s worse? I don’t even know if you want me here anymore. I don’t know how to act around you because I never know what you’re thinking. At first I thought all this, the whole push and pull, was just some control thing. But-” you laughed, airy and insane, “you know what I realised? You’ve had me fooled, Snow. All this time I thought we were equals, but now I think I finally realise.”

He frowned, waiting for you to continue.

“You pay for my company, if you think about it. We trade services, don’t we? You get something from me, I get something back. I live in your house, eat your food, wear nice clothes. At the end of the day, that’s just it, isn’t it?”

“What?”

You shrugged, tears filling your eyes as bitterness took over, so strong you could almost taste it.  

“I’m no better than a whore myself.”

You’d never heard a louder silence. If that hadn’t just taken everything out of you, you’d have begged him to say something. Instead, you just stared, eyes blurry with tears, as he seconds seemed to stretch into minutes, and you gave up trying to read his mind, because his expression was indecipherable.  

After what felt like hours, he took a long breath.

“Sit down.”

You glanced at the floor, then took a step towards your chair. He stopped you.

“Not there. Here.” He nodded at the desk in front of him, and you swallowed thickly, stepping around the desk, getting awfully close to him, and pulling yourself onto the desk, legs pressed together. He stood, looking down at you. 

“That’s really what you think of yourself?” He asked, voice steady and controlled.

You kept your eyes averted.

“Am I wrong?”

He lifted a hand and brushed his fingertips against your jaw, tipping your head up to look at him. And when you looked at his eyes, you knew exactly what he was feeling. He wasn’t hurt, or upset.

He was mad.

“Tell me something. What do you think I’d do if I heard someone talking about you that way?

“I don’t-”

“I’d have them executed. And you expect me to stand by and let you talk about yourself like that?”

You felt a tear spill down your cheek.

“I don’t know, Coriolanus, you tell me. Am I disposable to you?”

“Of course not."

“But you’d replace me if I left.”

“What makes you think I’d let you leave in the first place?”

A chill caressed your spine.

“That’s right. I’m keeping you here, doll. If I made you doubt that, I apologise. But you’re no whore. Though sometimes, I…” He trailed off.

“What?”

His eyes were on your lips again, hungry. You wondered how someone could switch from distant to depraved and wanting this quickly.

“Sometimes I wish you were. Because it’d make it a lot easier for me to take what I want. If you were, then I’d have no hesitation in ripping your clothes off right here. Fucking you on my desk, or up against the wall, not caring if you cum. Not caring if you enjoy it. If you were a whore, I’d have fucked you in every room in this house, twice over. I wouldn’t let you sleep.”

His hand was on your thigh, the now-creased fabric of your dress crumpling as it slid up. You weren’t sure when your eyes had fallen shut, your hot breath mixing with his as his thumb rubbed against your skin.

Your voice was pathetically quiet.

“Then why don’t you?”

He sighed, tone shifting into something tense, something you could cut through with a knife.

“Because you’re fucking impossible, you know that? I can barely think when you’re around. I don’t know where the games begin or end. I don’t… I don’t understand this power you have over me. I thought you knew, you must know that you’re under my skin. I don’t know if you’ll ever stop playing with me. It drives me fucking insane.”

You opened your eyes, hand gripping his wrist and pulling it from your thigh. You slid off the desk and took a step away from him.

“You think I’m playing with you? The only time you pay an ounce of attention to me is when you’re trying to fuck with my head, Snow. I said my piece, you heard me and you still didn’t care. So please, for both our sakes, stop torturing me. Just… come find me when you decide you want me again, okay? Let’s leave it at that.”

You made for the door, which you slammed with such an impressive force that it even took you aback.

You replayed his words in your head that night until you fell into a deep sleep, and when you woke, you felt like your dreams made more sense than he did.

“Tigris!” you exclaimed, catapulting into the blonde’s arms. The people who stood scattered around you in the manor’s large ballroom spun their heads around at your display. A few even dodged to the side as the momentum that you’d built running down the stairs nearly knocked her over.

A few days of silent glances and fewer exchanged words had passed. And now, you were just happy to be hosting in the comfort of your own home, and to finally see Tigris again. You wondered if she noticed how you hugged her, if she wondered - like you did - if you’d ever let go.

“I’m so happy you’re here. How’s your Grandma’am?”

“She’s quite well, she’s sorry she couldn’t make it. You look beautiful as ever. It’s been too long!”

“I know! I don’t think I’ve seen you since your birthday, which makes me the worst friend ever.” You groaned, scrunching up your face in shame.

“It’s okay! I know busy Coriolanus keeps you with all these functions. You must be going out of your mind by now. How are you holding up?”

The two of you walked to the edge of the room, where prying eyes had settled down after your greeting.

You looked at Snow, stood across the ballroom, dressed in a pristine suit with a champagne glass in hand, talking to yet another group of men who worked for him – ministers and such, a little higher ranking than the group from the other night – and spared you the occasional glance. As if he was keeping tabs on you. It wasn’t long before Tigris caught on and politely inquired.

“I don’t understand him, Tigris. I think he hates me.” You sighed.

“What? No, he could never. He has a soft spot for you, really, and I have it on good authority.”

“I’m not so sure anymore. I think I’ve pushed it a little far this time. I think… maybe we both did. I’m in uncharted waters, here.”

“Look, I know I don’t know all the ins and outs of how this thing between you works, but I don’t think he could ever hate you for doing anything. Coryo – I mean, Coriolanus, he does care, contrary to popular belief. It’s just that his way of showing it can get a little…”

“Fucked?” You offered, and she laughed.

“Yes, exactly. Now, I’m not going to lie to you and say that he’s an angel on earth, he’s had to do things to get to where he is now. Things that even I don’t know the extent of, and they’ve… changed him.”

You rarely got the chance to speak with Tigris alone these days, with Snow usually playing chaperone, or keeping one or the both of you busy, but it had always been easy to slide right back into conversation with her like you’d never been apart.

You’d first met Tigris at a Plinth gala years ago, on the same day you’d met Snow. The two of you had talked and laughed and she had an easiness around her, she wasn’t shallow and judgemental like a lot of the girls you’d grown up with, though you never knew why until many months later. Snow had placed a large wall between his life before the Plinth endorsement, and after. Few people knew the conditions he’d grown up in, but after countless hours with Tigris, you’d begun to assemble small pieces. Despite your closeness with her, you knew from her warnings that Snow had a sort of temper when it came to this topic, so you approached it with caution.

“Changed him how?” You inquired, finally.

“Well… It wasn’t always fancy balls and lunches with him. It never was, with any of us, as you know, but especially for him. He’s… had a different experience. Grandma’am and I, we’ve known hard times, but we haven’t seen what he’s seen. Not even close.”

“What kind of things?”

She glanced over her shoulder, making sure nobody was hovering.

“He’d kill me for telling you.”

“You know I won’t say a word. But you don’t have to tell me, if it’s too much to ask.”

 She took in a breath, and sipped her drink, voice dropping to a whisper.

“This stays between us, okay? Coriolanus has… been out there. In the districts, I mean. Before all this. And I can’t go into detail, he’d have my head if I…”

You swallowed.

“The districts? But… why? I don’t-”

“Tigris, lovely to see you, it’s been so long.” A male voice interrupted, and you quickly excused yourself, slipping away to let the two of them talk.

After mulling it over in your head and making small talk with a few more guests, you snuck out of a side door and into the hallways, winding upstairs until you were finally met with Snow’s bedroom door. The sound of voices and music a mere echo below you, you pushed tentatively, and stepped inside. It was strange, being in there alone, for the first time since he’d turned you away. But you paced the floor, looking for something, anything, that would answer the questions you had. Why the districts? Why couldn’t Tigris tell you what had happened there?

Glancing back at the door, you began thumbing through his closet, peeking inside drawers. You’d already given his room a once over, but you worked more meticulously this time, every corner you unsuccessfully turned over only fuelling your curiosity. You walked around the room again, getting frustrated.

You headed back to the door, scanning the place, and retraced your steps a third time. Knocking a little on cupboards and anything that appeared the slightest bit odd or out of place. It was a perpetually tidy room, neat as ever, save for the desk which contained folders you were sure weren’t for your eyes, but that didn’t stop you. You kept on, trying your best not to leave any stone unturned, and most importantly, trying not to move anything out of place.

Eventually, you moved to the smaller desk drawers again, rifling through them haphazardly, annoyed by the lack of evidence you were finding. One of the two drawers had very little inside it, just a pencil and a pocket dictionary, and as you pushed your hand further inside to feel for anything else, you noticed it felt smaller than the first. Shallower. When you knocked, it was hollow.

It had a false bottom.

Your father used to keep his cigars beneath one of these when you were growing up, so you knew what to look for. You felt around the edge until you touched a small, metal handle, then emptied the drawer, hooked your fingers into the handle and pulled. You frowned at first, there was less in the hidden compartment than there was above it. But you peered inside, and there lay two items: an old photograph, and a silver dog tag.

Suddenly, it all made sense. His efficiency, his drive, his orderliness.

Military. The districts. The dog tag.

You unfolded the photograph, caked in a layer of dust, and it hit you like a ton of rocks.  

Coriolanus was a peacekeeper.

But why? When? And why keep it a secret?

In the photograph, his hair was buzzed, and he was in a uniform you recognised immediately; if only because of the annual reaping ceremony shown in every building in the Capitol. He was standing next to a boy with dark hair, also buzzed. You recognised him as Sejanus Plinth, you’d never met the kid but you’d been to his funeral with your family, and had seen enough pictures to know.

You knew that the Plinth family had backed Coriolanus’ education, that he became their new heir, a protégé of sorts, but not that he’d been friends with their son. Not that they’d been this close, at least. They weren’t smiling in the photo, stood pin straight and alert in what looked like barracks.  

You folded the photograph and placed it back where you found it. Your hands lingered on the dog tag, though, despite the logical side of your brain screaming at you to put it back, leave the room and pretend you didn’t see this. But the louder part egged you on as you pulled it out of the drawer, examining the engraved words, running your hands over the name SNOW and, further down, DISTRICT 12.

You’d heard bedtime stories from your mother while growing up, about the war, the Hunger Games and why they existed, and why it was never safe to set foot in the districts, not even the richer ones.

They’re beneath us, she’d said. They’re dangerous. Barbaric. And 12 was notoriously the poorest, most dangerous of them all.

Coriolanus had now become more of an enigma to you than ever before, and a thousand new questions flooded your head.

You closed the drawer halfway, holding the chain, pulling out a chair in front of the mirror to sit down. You turned the tag over in your hands, as if it would start giving you the answers, if only you looked hard enough.

Why was he sent to 12? Why couldn’t he talk about it?

Despite the conditions Snow grew up in, there was respect behind his family name. It didn’t make sense why someone of his social standing and education would leave to be a peacekeeper, of all things, and in 12, of all places. A strange sort of pity filled you, wondering what he could’ve seen out there. What he could’ve done. It all drew you in as you got lost in a world of what ifs.

Despite yourself, you pushed your hair from your neck, and as if in a trance, wrapped the chain around it. It fell heavy and cold against your skin, sending a chill through your bones. You were so busy staring down at it, so lost in thought that you barely noticed the sound of the door pushing open. Or the floorboards lightly creaking. Or his reflection in the mirror. You didn’t notice any of that, until the door swung shut with a bang.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Coriolanus had had a long day, most of which he’d spent simmering over work and you. He’d kept his eye on you that evening; on the way you’d thrown yourself into Tigris’ arms, and talked, transfixed, and he hated not knowing what was being said. A strange feeling set in as he saw the two of you get deeper into conversation from the other side of the large room, a deep-seated uneasiness stirring him up as he drowned out the tales of his associates’ incompetence. It felt like a breath of relief when he sent someone your way to interrupt whatever talk you were having, pretending that Tigris had been looking for him earlier. He focused on your brief tour of the room when the distraction worked, eyes flitting around like you were preoccupied.

When he saw you dart away from the ballroom and up one of the stairwells, he followed you as soon as he got the chance.

He’d wondered if you might act up today, but this wasn’t what he was expecting. When he saw you, the all too familiar glint of silver around your pretty neck, something shifted in him. Something he’d done a very, very good job of keeping at bay during his first few years of presidency.

Rage.

Your eyes met his in the mirror.

“Coriolanus, I-”

His hands were on you before you could finish your sentence, hauling you out of the chair, fingers wrapped in a death grip around your arms, squeezing as he pushed you to the wall with a satisfying thud.

“What, you can explain? I highly doubt that.”

“I’m sorry, I just-” You gasped as he squeezed tighter, gripping your wrists.

“Do you even know what this means?” He seethed, dog tag pressed between his fingers, chain pulling at your neck.

The forest. The birds. The gunshots that deafened him for weeks.

“I didn’t know… I’m sorry. I never knew you were a peacekeeper, Coryo, I-” He flinched, saw the way you winced the second it passed your lips.

Snow may have been cold, but his eyes were fire. And you were only stoking it.

“So I’m Coryo now? Who the fuck told you call me that? Was it Tigris? I saw you talking to her, don’t lie to me.”

“No.” You shook your head. “She didn’t tell me anything, I promise. Please. It was just me.”

He moved in closer, eclipsing you altogether, grip on the chain so tight he was certain you’d be able to feel it pinching the back of your neck, digging a mark into your flesh. He let the sadistic part of his brain take delight in it, in the way your eyes widened, face pleading.

Whatever this game was between you, you’d gone too far this time.

“How did you find this?” He snapped.

You were crowded against the wall, unable to move. Tears started to brim, and you didn’t answer, he wasn’t sure you could. You just shook your head over and over, repeating I’m sorry like a broken record.

“Take this off. Now. Take it off.” He ordered, dropping it back to your chest, stepping away a little so you could lift your shaking arms over your head, removing the chain. He snatched it from you, gripping it in his palm, looking down at it, and you breathed out in relief.

“I didn’t mean to… I was just looking. I had so many questions. I didn’t know what I’d find.”

“And? Are you fucking satisfied now?” His voice chilled you to the bone as he looked up at you again.

You shook your head. Apologised again. Wished you could apologise in any way that would matter, but it was too late. You’d never been more afraid in your life, anticipating what might happen, remembering echoes of rumors you’d heard, of Snow poisoning his enemies, of sending them to hang. Some you knew to be true, but others you boiled down to rebel gossip.

Now, you weren’t so sure. These were the eyes of a man who’d dropped his mask, and it was like staring into a dark void. You could get lost in it, and never find your way back.

“Please. Don’t… I won’t tell anyone, I promise. You can trust me.”

He scoffed.

Stupid girl. Hadn’t you learned by now, that trust meant nothing?

“Like I trusted you in here? I don’t think so. Can’t believe you had me feeling sorry for you. Probably just made it up so you could lower my guard then turn around and stick your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“I didn’t, Coriolanus, I swear.” You pleaded. You were crying, tears slipping down your cheeks.

“I’ve been very patient with you, little girl. But this is where I draw the line. You have no idea how far you’ve pushed me. And you don’t even realise it, you’re so caught up in your little crush. Do you know how easy I’ve been going on you? The things I’ve let you get away with… I’ve killed people for much less.”

“You’ve…” You trailed off, barely hearing your own words, barely processing a thing. He laughed, low and dark.

“Does that scare you, sweetheart? Does it make you afraid?”

Eyes frozen open, you just stared. You felt your jaw go slack.

“Good.”  

Coriolanus toed an invisible line, one that had never been crossed before. You wanted him to show you he wanted you? Fine.

He looked down at the chain wrapped around his fist, but he didn’t pocket it, or place it to the side. He unwound it, and slowly pulled it over his own neck.

Your eyes dropped to where it sat in stark contrast, heavy and shining, garish against his fancy dress shirt. You felt your blood run cold.

“Get on your knees.” You heard him say. Your eyes darted back up.

“What?”

When he spoke, it sounded like someone else was talking. Someone you didn’t know at all.

“You heard me. Get on your fucking knees. Right now.”

What could you do? This was what you’d wanted. Just… not like this. Not when your hands were shaking in fear, and you had no idea what this Coriolanus was capable of.

Your head said yes; your heart wept. But you were far past listening to your sorry heart.

So, you obeyed. Legs all but giving in as you lowered yourself to the ground, knees meeting cold hardwood as the chill cut through your dress.

His fingers slipped under one of the straps.

“Take this off, baby.” He murmured, distant, like he wasn’t all there. Your head hung in shame, eyes on his feet as you pushed the straps from your shoulder, top half of the dress falling down. You heard his zipper slide down, and you shivered. No longer sure if it was in fear or anticipation.

“Head up. Look at me. Good,” he said, when you obliged, “now let’s see what this pretty mouth’s really good for, shall we?”

More tears welled up as his hand brushed your jaw, hooking a thumb to your bottom lip, pushing your mouth open. You couldn’t help the way your tongue grazed over it, tasting salt, whining when you realised it was the taste of your own tears. When your eyes fell open again, you finally caught a look at him, hard and tip weeping, and your brain filled with nothing but want, eclipsing your fear for a mere second, enough to bring Coriolanus to the ground again. He may have done terrible, unspeakable things, but he was still a man. A man who wanted you.

And why did that make your heart beat out of your chest? It thrummed like a hummingbird as you took in the sight of him, unbuttoning his shirt as he waited for you to move.

You’d seen how big he was from a distance. You’d felt him between layers of fabric, and you’d imagined this a million times over. But now, as he stood waiting in front of you, you hesitated, because it all finally felt real. Your mouth watered despite yourself, seeing the mess he’d already made, any more and he’d start dripping -

“Go on, sweetheart. It’s not gonna suck itself.”

Your eyes squeezed shut as you let him past your lips. The heady taste of precum filled your mouth as you ran your tongue along the shaft slowly, trying to start steady. He wasn’t having it. His hand twisted through your hair, pulling you in closer, making you gag a little. You instinctively lifted a hand up to his thigh to brace yourself, and he laughed.

“Giving up so soon? Thought you’d try harder than that.”

He pushed further, and the indignant sound you made as you adjusted only served to spur him on.

You tried to focus on breathing through it, but he slipped in and out your mouth unevenly, and faster than you could think, catching you off guard. He looked down at the way your mouth struggled to take his length as if you were a piece of art, like he was mesmerised by it, and that feeling was encouragement was enough to keep you going. His hand twisted harder in your hair, making a fist, and he swore when you hummed in discomfort.

“Look at you.” He said, strung-out and shaky. “You strut right in here from your silver spoon life, and think you can call the shots? You’ve bitten off more than you can chew, sweetheart. You have no fucking idea what the world is really like. What people are like. What they have to do to survive.”

He moved faster, and you let your jaw go slack. You were barely moving now, he was starting to fuck your throat like he owned it. You’d started to cry again, and when you looked up at him, it was a blur. The furthest you could see was his chest, shirt unbuttoned and falling to the sides, and the dog tag, silver catching in the low light, swinging against his chest as he moved. You closed your eyes again, trying to go somewhere else in your head. Trying to breathe through your nose, to focus on being used, on how good you were making him feel, on finally being his. It was all you had left to hold on to.

But he was unwinding you with his words, knowing just where to press to make it sting, to make the tears fall harder.

“You don’t have any fucking shame about it either. Touching yourself on my bed and wearing my clothes, like you’re – fuck, that’s it - like we’re married or something. Like you’re worth more than everyone else. But look at you. Maybe you were right after all. Maybe you are my whore.” he gritted out.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you tried desperately to catch your breath between sobs.  

“I mean, you sure look like it now, on your knees for me, making a mess of your pretty face. So fucking good. You’re sucking me off better than she did, and you’re barely even trying.”

You hated it. Hated the way his thumb brushed painfully gently against your cheek, dusting away a tear as his cock bruised the back of your throat and you tried not to gag around him. Hated the way his words twisted around in your head, and how fucked up it was that your broken brain took it as praise instead of punishment.

Most of all, you hated the throb between your shaking legs, panties soaked through and probably ruined. Humiliation seeped through you as you imagined it dripping down your legs and onto the floor. Your salty tears spilled down your face, mixing with your spit and his precum. Hating every second, until your head went blank, and you didn’t feel much of anything anymore.

You weren’t sure exactly how it happened.

One second, he was pulling your hair, twitching in your mouth and spilling down your throat, and the next, in what felt like a flash, you were on the floor, loud, wrecked sobs spilling out of you as you held your knees to your chest, face hidden. He was on the floor too - when did he get down? - and his voice was soft, oh so soft and gentle, saying something you couldn’t quite make out, dull and repetitive past your ringing ears.

“- so sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. I know I - I didn’t… I took it too far. Can you hear me, sweetheart? Look at me. Please, look at me. I’m right here.”

You pulled your head from your hands, and through blurred eyes, you looked at him.

This wasn’t a face you’d seen on him before. His brows knitted, lips apart as he stared at you, like you were some wounded animal he wanted to save.

“Talk to me, sweetheart. Please.”

“I can’t…” You trailed off.

“You can tell me.”

Another wave of choked back sobs took over you. He held your jaw up like you were something breakable. Like maybe you’d broken already, and he was holding you together.

“I can’t do this.” You whispered. “Not like-”

He nodded, brushing a tear from your cheek.

“Okay. It’s okay, baby. Tell me what I can do for you. Just say the word.”

You caught your breath, and he flinched a little as you collapsed into his arms. The cool metal of the dog tag pressed into your cheek.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” You cried.

“I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t realise how far I’d pushed you until… I know I can’t make it up to you, but I’ll try. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it. If you want to leave, I understand. I’ll make the arrangements.”

“What? No, that’s not…”

He cut you off, looking into your eyes.

“Decide tomorrow, okay doll? You don’t have to think about that now.”

“I didn’t know about… about the districts.” You hiccupped. “About you. You didn’t want me to know. I ruined everything, I-”

“Listen to me. It doesn’t matter anymore, I promise you. It’s okay, baby.”

You nodded into his chest.

“Here.” He leaned away from you, and you looked up in a question. He took the chain from his neck and placed it in your palm.

“You can have it. So long as nobody sees. You can throw it away, wear it around the house, whatever you want. It’s yours.”

You pressed it between your fingers. It cooled your hot skin like a salve.

“Thank you.” You whispered. Your head sank back onto his chest, and when you spoke again, it was barely audible.

“Coryo?”

He tensed for a second, but relaxed again just as quickly.

“Yeah?”

“Can I stay with you tonight?”

His hand brushed gently against your hair, and you relaxed into it.

“Of course you can.”

a/n: baby's first dubcon scene!! (screams cries and throws up bc navigating that was scary as fuck) p.s one more chapter left!! do we think they'll get their shit together?? who knows!! (i know)

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[feyascorner]

Ok but what if tav is the hero of baldurs gate right, the god killer, slayer of the chosen three, savior of the emerald grove etc etc and after all that is told they had this incurable illness that the parasite had only slowed down. Now, with it gone, it’s progressing again and Tav can’t help but feel so stupid, weak even, that such a mighty hero could be struck by the weaknesses of their own body

Maybe pushes everyone away when they find out, too afraid to tell them that after everything they’ve been through after surviving all of that that they were going to die anyways

AND THEN ASTARIONS REACTION!!! Because surely he would not take that news sitting down (if he found out at all)

a/n. anon how did you know this type of prompt is exactly my cup of tea <33

It's not fair.

You did everything right. You saved the grove, the Tieflings, the Druids, the gnomes, the city, and even those who did not deserve saving, you always came to their aid. You've slayed gods, mind flayers, githyanki, even a bloody elder brain. And now, finally, after so long, with the brain having been defeated, and nothing but pure bliss occupying your headspace, you think you finally have time to relax.

Instead, you're reeled over the bathroom sink, eyes blurry from how much your body seems hellbent on making you miserable.

Ah, you remember. No matter what you've done for others, no matter what you've sacrificed, you're reduced to nothing but a sick patient. One that has no hope for a cure.

The months spent with little to do with your illness has left it to come back tenfold, and now all you can do is grovel on the bathroom floor, head in your hands as you understand that this is all you were meant to amount to. In the end, you were always destined to rot away by yourself and succumb to this gods forsaken disease. You are no hero. This is what you truly are---the pitiful remains of someone who longed for more.

The weeks following the defeat of the elder brain are filled with mournful streets for those who lost their lives and the joyous laughter of those who live on for them. Celebration--though it's difficult with half the taverns having collapsed in the battle--is not out of the ordinary. Strangers and friends alike come together every night, singing praises to whichever gods they worship. Your companions are no exception.

But each and every time, you deny their offers. You've become quite skilled at making up excuses about feeling tired, about having errands to run, or having loose ends to tie up. In reality, you're a coward. Despite the trust they put in you, you cannot provide it back--not in matters like this. Not when you've all been through so much, just for your own journey to amount to nothing.

It's not like you haven't known about this disease. You knew your death was imminent. But now, after experiencing just a fraction of what life has to offer, you no longer want to let go.

It's just not fair.

For what seems to be the millionth time this week, you hear someone knock at your door. Whichever one of your companions it is, you don't bother taking a step from your bed, face still planted into your sheets. You don't have the energy to move, and the useless healing herbs scattered across the room don't exactly hide your secret. So instead of standing, you bury your face deeper into your bed.

"You can't stay in there forever."

You flinch as you realize it's a voice you've dreaded hearing. One that invokes so much love yet fear as you remember that if you see him right now, it might be your last. And you don't want that. Not at all.

"I don't know what we've done to make you push us away like this," he says through the door, and your fist tightens in front of your chest. "But this is getting ridiculous, darling. You have to come out eventually."

You remain silent.

"Gods, just--" he stops, and you can hear the hesitance in his voice. You swear it almost cracks a little. "--Have I done something wrong?"

At this, you're suddenly on your feet, rushing to push yourself against the door, but unwilling to open in. "No, Astarion, you haven't done anything wrong. Don't you dare think that way."

You can hear him shift. "Then why do you avoid me? The others, I can understand, but me?...I mean, I thought we were more than that..."

"We are, it's just..."

"Just what?"

The final thread of your resolve snaps, and you reach toward your lock. Your hand falters for a moment, but you eventually open the door slowly. And if the way his face falls tells you anything, you must look absolutely dreadful.

"Oh, my sweet, what's happened to you?" he whispers, his eyes widening even more when he sees the mess of your home behind you. The clothes all over the floor, the blinds shut despite there being no sunlight to shield from, the healing potions and herbs messily tossed around...you'd feel ashamed if you weren't so tired already.

"...Are you sick?" he steps inside, taking his time to take in the state of what you call home. When you don't answer, he whips around to you, alarmed. "You're sick. Is it a cold? Flu?"

You shake your head, sick of having to lie to the one person you don't want to deceive. "It's a long story."

"I'm undead, darling. I have all the time in the world."

"It's not a very nice story."

"If I wanted a nice story, I'd be listening to a bard someplace else," he says, and you feel your eyes bubble with tears as he steps closer. "What's happened?"

The words spill out like vomit, and you're soon telling him what's been weighing on you for so long. You find yourself sliding down to the ground, and he goes with you, letting you grasp desperately at the sleeves of his shirt while you tell him everything. You can barely breathe with how fast your talking but you're afraid you won't say everything if you get any slower. The entire time, he just stares at you, his arms circled around you, and only when you're done does his gaze finally flicker.

"...Surely, there must be a cure." He's suddenly glancing around the entire room, at pieces of herbs. "Surely, at least one of these would--"

"None of them work, Astarion."

"Then we can find the finest healers in the city--we can even go back to that damn druid, and ask him."

"I've tried."

"Well, you haven't tried hard enough, obviously, if you haven't found a bloody cure!"

You give him one hard look--one with dark bags under your eyes and a weariness that stretches on for weeks--and his temper seems to cool. His shoulders slump, but he reaches for your hand, rubbing his thumb against your skin. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just felt so weak," you whisper. "I didn't want you to think that too."

Immediately, his eyes harden, and he takes both sides of your face in his hands. "No. I don't think you're weak, and that's not going to change. You've proven yourself more than I can count, and I know you enough to know that you can't let it end like this, love. You can't leave like this."

"Astarion..."

He shakes his head. "I won't let this take you from me. There have been too many opportunities for us to lose each other, and we've overcome them all. We'll just do it again. We'll go to the most skilled healers in Faerun. We'll go to all of them if we have to, and we'll start tomorrow."

You can feel yourself tear up again, and he kisses your tears away while you sob in his arms.

"I'll save you," he mumbles against your temple. "Even if it's the last thing I do."

[jinjeriffic]

DC x DP prompt/ficlet

Throwing my hat in the ring with this idea that has been doing the zoomies in my brain for days. The Tim/Danny Accidental Ghost Marriage to Fake Dating to Friends to Lovers AU:

Pariah Dark was a piece of shit. Before his imprisonment, mortals would sometimes manage to bargain with the Ghost King for scraps of power. One of the "standard" deals was to send PD a "Bride" to play with and feed on (because I HC he feeds on fear and pain) and what better way than a little mortal battery that couldn't get away from him? The deal was sealed with a cursed amulet. Now in one instance, the contract was never fulfilled (maybe the petitioner died before he could complete his half) and the amulet was lost. After Pariah was imprisoned and couldn't make deals anymore the knowledge of the rituals needed was gradually forgotten since they didn't work anymore...

Eventually the amulet gets dug up by archeologists (maybe in Egypt or Mesopotamia?) and ends up in a traveling exhibit in Gotham. A Rogue robs the place (Riddler? Two-Face? doesn't really matter). When the Bats show up to foil the robbery, during the fight with the goons a drop of Red Robin's blood gets on the amulet, there's a blinding flash of green light and the amulet is suddenly glued to him.

While everyone is dazed by the ghostly magic flashbang, Fright Knight pops out of a portal, yoinks Red Robin across his saddle and jumps back through the portal before anyone can stop him. Cue the Bats trying to frantically figure out what in the multi-dimensional occult hell happened and where RR went?!

Meanwhile, Danny is disturbed to receive a ghostly missive in his college dorm to tell him that his Mail Order Bride has been delivered to his Ghost Zone Palace and is awaiting him so they can consummate their Unholy Matrimony.

----------------

Danny: Wtf I have to study I don't have time to get MARRIED

Fright Knight: I'm sorry my liege, but according to the laws of ghosts, gods and magic you already ARE

Danny: Wtf. How did this happen?

RR: I would like to know that too

Danny: Oh shit, you're a superhero. Frighty, you can't just kidnap people! Especially not SUPERHEROES!

RR: While that's good to hear, I would really like to know about this supposed marriage..?

FK: I am not aware of the exact details, I was merely summoned to retrieve the Bride of the Ghost King. There used to be standard magical contracts for this, which went into effect when the Bride bled on the King's Token...

RR: Shit

Danny: Hold on, PARIAH got married? Multiple times??

FK: ...but we can always consult the Royal Archivist, if we can dig him out from under the several thousand years worth of paperwork that piled up while there was no King actively ruling...

Danny: Oh ancients, am I gonna have to deal with that?? I have exams to prepare for, dude!

RR: ...the dead still have to do exams? And paperwork?? *horror*

-------------

Some time and explanations later...

Royal Archivist: It took some digging, but I believe I have found the contract in question. You are one Timothy Drake-Wayne, correct?

Tim: Fml

RA: Ahem. The contract was sealed with your mortal blood, as is standard procedure. Congratulations, you are officially King-Consort of the Infinite Realms! Until death do you part, and all that

Danny: Can I see that contract? ...This isn't in English

RA: Oh dear, looks like we will have to schedule your Royal Highness classes in reading cuneiform/hieroglyphics

Tim: Okay, does it say anywhere in that contract how to dissolve it? What's the procedure for a ghost divorce? Fright Knight mentioned the previous king being married multiple times

RA: Well usually, when Pariah tired of a consort he would simply devour their soul...

Danny: Ewwwww I am so not doing that

Tim: I concur. I can't imagine my soul would taste good anyway

Danny: That's what you took from that??

RA: ...but when you die and your soul passes into the Afterlife proper, the contract will be fulfilled. As long as you're not resurrected again.

Tim: Nuts, there goes that loophole

RA: Until then you are the Consort and duty-bound to fulfill his Royal Highness' every whim; ghostly, spiritual, carnal...

Danny: *sinks through the floor in embarrassment*

Tim: Can't he just... release me from the contract? Take the amulet off me or something?

RA: Not without obliterating your soul, no

Danny and Tim: Fuck

--------------

Some time later, while Danny is away consulting other ghosts on possible ways of dissolving the contract, they discover the nasty little clause that if Tim isn't in regular physical contact with Danny the amulet starts draining his life force. To prevent victims from escaping you see... Danny really really hates Pariah right now.

They eventually return to the mortal plane to explain to the Batfam what the hell is going on and that they're still trying to fix it. In the meantime, Danny can't miss any more classes (studying areospace engineering at MIT or sth) and Tim has to stick close to him because of the curse...

Alfred: Oh dear, looks like Master Timothy will have to go to college after all *unflappable British Smugness*

Bruce pulls a lot of strings to fast track Tim getting his high school diploma and let him attend classes with Danny (he's not officially enrolled yet, but Money, Dear Boy). They never know when Danny has to respond to a ghost emergency or Red Robin to a Bat emergency, so they stay pretty much joined at the hip in their civilian lives. Of course there's gonna be rumors. Why did the Wayne CEO suddenly drop everything to go to college? So they make up a story about Danny and Tim having been secret boyfriends for a while and Tim becoming so smitten that he moves with him to Boston...

Cue the fake dates, interviews with magazines, couple photoshoots to really sell the bit... and the two young men gradually becoming friends... and then "Feelings?? But what do I do?? He was forced into this?" etc.

[princessbellecerise]

Late Nights

──── ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧ ────

summary | Steve’s had a long, long night. And the only thing he wants to come home to is you

warnings | soft sex, soft!steve rogers, slight somnophilia (reader is awake but steve doesn’t know it), creampie, unprotected sex, mentions of size difference and kink, soft slow and romantic, tummy bulge, consensual sex, 18+ NO MINORS

this is an eighteen plus fic. minors please do not enter

divider by @princessbellecerise

You feel the bed sink but you don’t say anything. He’s late again, of course, but you can’t even bring yourself to be mad, just grateful that he’s here and he’s alive, especially in his line of work.

Steve thinks you’re sleeping, so he doesn’t say anything and tries to be as quiet as possible as he stumbles around the room trying to get out of his ripped uniform. He curses a few times before he actually manages to do it, throwing the tattered fabric in the corner and hoping that he doesn’t have to see it for a while.

He’ll ask Tony to repair it in the morning, but for now the only thing he cared about was crawling into bed with you and feeling your warmth. Something he missed terribly during his cold mission to Siberia.

You have to say Steve is right to think that you were asleep, because honestly you weren’t all that much awake. You were just lucid enough to know that he was there, to feel his presence. But yet, your body was so tired from staying up all night waiting for him that you couldn’t find it in yourself to fully drag yourself from sleep.

Instead, you decided that you were content on teetering between sleep and awareness, not rising from your position. Eventually, Steve crawled into bed, giving a small hum of satisfaction as his skin pressed against yours.

He was warm, just like he always was. And he wasted no time before he cuddled up to you, head nestling in the crook of your shoulder. He peppered kisses along your collarbone to which you responded with a sigh, but even with his super hearing, Steve was too tired and too distracted to notice.

He had missed you of course, but what he didn’t tell you over the numerous phone calls was that on this particular mission, he was filled with a different kind of longing for you.

Steve missed you. He missed your laugh. He missed your smile, god he missed your very presence. But the one thing he just could not stop thinking about was your cunt, and how good it had taken him right before he left.

The sex replayed in his mind like a nonstop recording, Steve’s brain taking notes and savoring every single detail. Every kiss, every moan of his name had all been lingering in his mind and he hadn’t been able to make it go away for an entire week. The entire week that he was away, the only thing he thought about was coming back home to you alive, and what would await him once he did get back.

Of course, you guys always had amazing sex when he returned from his missions, but usually he didn’t show up this late. And since you guys were in different time zones, you had been staying up later than usual just so that you wouldn’t miss his calls.

This caused your sleep schedule to become a little messed up and Steve knew he would feel bad if he woke you, especially if it was just to have sex.

He couldn’t do that to you — especially not after seeing how adorable you looked with your mouth slightly parted open, soft pants leaving your lips.

He couldn’t do that to you. He couldn’t wake you, but what he could do was assume that you wouldn’t mind if he still had a little fun. So, Steve decided to do something that you had always asked him to do.

At first, when you first proposed the idea of him fucking you in your sleep, he had been a little taken back. Not to mention worried about the consent lingering around it. After all, Steve was extremely old-fashioned and fucking your wife in her sleep wasn’t exactly common during the times he grew up. Sex in general was a very sheltered topic, so it came as a surprise to Steve that you were so open and willing to talk about it.

He had been hesitant before, but now feeling how desperately he wanted you, how bad his cock throbbed and ached for your body, he figured that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try.

So, leaning his chest against your back, he pulled you as close as he could against him before gently tugging on your leg and throwing it around him. Steve wanted your legs open so that he could pleasure you first before he fucked you. That way when the time came, there would be no question if you could take him or not.

Steve knew he was big, and often times if he didn’t warm you up, it was nearly impossible to fit himself inside of your cunt. You were just so tiny compared to him; but nevertheless, you were always eager to take him anyways.

This time though, you weren’t awake to strain yourself against his cock, so he had to do all the work himself.

Taking the hand that was most available, Steve used the pad of his fingers to trace your body and greet all the curves that he had missed so desperately.

He could feel your warmth as his hands traveled all over, sometimes tracing your stomach, sometimes your breast, and other times dipping dangerously close to your exposed heat.

Steve was in no rush, so he decided to savor everything, even inhaling your scent before his hand finally dipped between your legs.

The first moan that you let out was so sudden, Steve merely thought that you were groaning in your sleep. He didn’t consider that you were half-awake so he didn’t stop, using his long fingers to brush up against your clit and feel between your wet folds.

Even in your sleep, you were eager for him. The thought made Steve smile, loving that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. It made his cock throb to feel your arousal and he wanted more. So, he positioned a single digit at your entrance, and lightly pushed it in.

“Mhmm.”

Even half-asleep, you felt the intrusion, but your body welcomed it as it always welcome Steve. With no resistance, allowing him to push the digit even deeper until it was buried in your cunt.

You let out a quick breath, but by this time, you were sure that Steve thought you were asleep and you didn’t want him to stop if you woke up.

So, you stayed still, lightly biting your lip to keep yourself from moaning too loud. Meanwhile, Steve decided to add another finger and you had to clench your fist to keep yourself from telling him how good it felt.

Slowly, he began to move the two digits in sync, pumping them in and out of your cunt at a delicious pace.

It wasn’t his cock, but Steve’s fingers were still thick enough to fill you up and definitely long enough to hit all the right spots, making your body jerk even in your ‘sleep.’

Steve smiled as he noticed the reaction, leaning down to press a kiss to the side of your face before slightly picking up the pace. He pleasured you just as he would have had you been awake: slowly, so that you could feel everything. It was no secret that Steve liked to take his time with you, and this was no different. He wanted to gently pleasure you and take it slow because you deserved it. And even though he was eager, his cock throbbing painfully against the curve of your ass, he had to be patient and get you ready for him first.

Otherwise, he knew he wouldn’t fit.

Such a delicate little thing you were — and so pretty as Steve observed your sleeping face. You were relaxed, no hint of stress or worries clouding your beautiful face. Dare he say it, you almost looked like you were…enjoying his pleasurefull assault, which only made him sink his fingers deeper, curling them inside of you and hitting that delicious spot over and over again.

It made it extremely difficult to stay still, and you found that part of your body thrashed even though you tried your best to keep still.

Even though you tried, your legs still shook, your core still clenched, and it was a miracle Steve didn’t figure you out when you came, seeing as the moans that escaped your lips should’ve alerted him.

But alas, you were glad that they didn’t as you were craving what was to come next. You could feel Steve shifting behind you, panting slightly and almost painfully as he slowly removed his fingers from your sticky core.

You felt empty, but you knew you weren’t gonna be for long. Steve scooted down and gently opened your legs even wider. He positioned himself right between them, grabbing his cock to line up it with your entrance.

And then, he pushed in.

You couldn’t help yourself this time; nor stop the mewl that left your lips as Steve sheathed himself inside your cunt, stretching you until he bottomed out. He was as deep as you could take him, and you could sort of feel your tummy bulging as your pussy struggled to accommodate him.

It had been a while; a week since Steve had felt you wrapped around him. Entirely too long in both of your opinions, and he almost came right when he entered. But he had to remind himself that he wanted to make this last; he wanted to make this special into make up for the time he was gone.

So, Steve paced himself, slowly snapping his hips back-and-forth while low grunts left his pink lips. Euphoria almost immediately began to cloud his vision as he dragged his cock along your walls, the squeaking bed hiding your moans.

You buried your face until your pillow as Steve fucked you from behind, brain beginning to wake up as well as your body. And honestly, you didn’t even care if he heard you anymore as you began to cry out. You just missed him so much that the feeling of him inside of you was driving you insane. You needed to wake up so that you could fully feel him, so that you could relish in the way he was touching you.

Opening your eyes, you started to rouse just as Steve began to pound against your sweet spot. You moaned again, the feeling making you see stars which clouded your vision. It almost felt like you were being blinded by the pleasure that Steve was providing you.

Your sweet sounds began to mix in with his, and Steve brought his lips down to kiss your neck while he quickened his face.

You could almost imagine the face he was making as his lips attached to your skin; nose scrunched up and eyebrows furrowed as he focused on not just his pleasure, but yours as well.

After so long together, Steve knew the exact ways to work your body. And he knew that kissing your neck was a sure way to rile you up. He knew that bringing a hand down to rub your sensitive clit was enough to make your knees buck; enough to make your hips jerk in pleasure as your body tried to run from the overstimulation.

He knew just how to cloud your senses, and he knew well enough that he had to keep you in place as the intrusion of his cock and the pleasure on the rest of your body sent you into a frenzy.

You cried out, a hand instinctively going behind you to grip Steve’s arm. You needed to ground yourself as you started seeing stars again, flashes of white hot pleasure traveling straight to your core.

Steve knew exactly what he was doing as he fucked you, and you found yourself trembling as your orgasm approached you once again. Again, Steve was going to make you cum, but it wasn’t like you had any objections as the coil in your stomach tightened.

Faster and faster, Steve began to rut into you like he would never have the pleasure of feeling your cunt again. He began to grow desperate, his own release creeping up on him, but not before you came he reminded himself. He was determined to make you come undone once more, and as the last of his strokes hit your G-spot, that’s exactly what happened.

Your body began to unravel from all the pleasure, your lips opening and sweet sounds escaping as you quivered. White hot and blinding, your orgasm took over you. And before you knew it, you were clamping down on Steve’s cock for dear life as you came with a cry.

You squeezed him and God, your pussy had never felt better; you had never sounded sexier as your release washed through you, swiftly prompting his own.

As your chest heaved, and as you began to come down from your arousal, Steve finally allowed himself to let go — stilling inside of you and filled your cunt to the brim with his cum.

He didn’t care at that moment that he forgot to put on a condom. He didn’t care that you weren’t even on birth control. All he cared about was the feeling that rippled through his body, the coils that snapped and caused him to almost fall over in his moment of pleasure.

Steve didn’t care about anything other than the way you wrapped around him, and in that moment it felt like he would never care about anything else.

Nothing else was as important as this: you pressed to his chest as you both came down from your highs, heavy breaths and scattered moans still lingering in the air.

Nothing else felt like it would even come close to you. No mission, brief or assignment.

And as he thought of this, Steve leaned over to survey your face, taking in the glow that seem to surround you. Finally, it seemed like he acknowledged that you were awake as your tired (e/c) eyes met his. Gently, he caressed your face and brought his lips to kiss your head again before cheekily saying,

“Well good morning, sunshine. I hope that was a good enough wake up call.”

[alittlebitofsainz]

- just don’t want your friends to see -

prompt: “said you needed me, wanted to be with me, just don’t want your friends to see”

pairing: lando norris x reader

summary: the pressure of keeping the relationship a secret is getting to you both. is he ashamed of you? (everyone needs a little soft and reassuring lando in their lives every now and then)

a/n: can be considered a lil’ part two to told her you were just a friend. lyrics from ‘you to you’ by maisie peters :)

masterlist | the spotify wrapped collection

“hey, you guys, hope you haven’t been waiting long!”

your head turned to follow the sound of the voice, seeing max and his girlfriend pietra approaching, a few minutes late for lunch. you noticed lando doing the same, his fingers immediately disentangling from your own as soon as he spotted them, your hand feeling empty without his clasped around it as he took a step away from you. you knew you should be used to it by now, you’d both agreed that this was for the best, keeping your relationship in the shadows, locked behind closed doors. I want this relationship to be just ours, he’d said. it had sounded nice at the time, poetic, even, and you’d agreed, maybe a little too eagerly. but as you sat at lunch with max and pietra, perched awkwardly on the edge of your seat so as not to seem too close to lando, listening to him laugh off questions about his romantic life and saying he hadn’t really met anyone special yet - you had to admit that it stung. it stung the same way it did every time, and you found yourself unnaturally quiet throughout the meal, eyes flicking between person to person as the conversation continued around you.

if you’d thought it had gone unnoticed by lando, you thought wrong.

“baby, everything okay?”

even the pet name stung, the façade of ‘friendship’ falling by the wayside as soon as you made it back to lando’s apartment. just the two of you, a safe space, away from prying eyes and listening ears. you could be in a relationship again, having put it on pause for the time you were out in public.

you looked up, trying to plaster a fake smile across your face, the expression faltering slightly at the edges.

“yeah, fine. just tired, that’s all.” came your reply. but lando wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t blind, either. you tried to escape through to the kitchen, but he wasn’t having any of that.

“y/n, I know you. I can tell you’re not fine. talk to me, please.”

the gentleness of his voice coaxed you to be honest, letting out a sigh as you turned to lean against the kitchen counter, facing him. you couldn’t quite meet his eyes, almost embarrassed. you’d both agreed on this - why were you suddenly feeling so upset about it all? you knew lando loved you, appreciated you, but something about the way he acted when the two of you were out in public, around colleagues, around friends, even, that just got to you.

“are you embarrassed of me?”

the words left your mouth before filtering through your brain first, and you regretted them immediately; the way lando’s face fell, pain and guilt etched across his features - you swore you would never forget it, and you never wanted to see it again.

“no, no. fuck, y/n, I could never be embarrassed of you.” his voice was strained as he took several paces towards you across the kitchen, casting a cautious gaze over you as he tried to decide whether to give you space or comfort. you felt emotions bubble up inside you, ones you’d been trying to keep hidden for months, for the sake of your relationship. you’d always worried that if you caused a fuss or spoke about your emotions in any way, it would push lando away. why would he want someone who was such a problem when he could have pretty much anyone he wanted? it was irrational and you knew it, but keeping it inside for so long, unable to talk to anyone about it…? well, it had festered in your mind until it had taken over.

“I just feel like that’s why you don’t wanna tell your friends about me…” you eventually said, voice coming out as more of a whimper than you’d intended. lando closed the remaining space between you, hesitating for split second before taking your hands in his, his eyes searching yours imploringly.

“baby, I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel like that.” his voice was firm, filled with conviction and sincerity, but also tinged with a hint of emotion, upset that he’d ever hurt the person in his life that he cared the most about, “I swear, I never meant to. I’m so sorry.”

“it’s just difficult.” you murmured in reply, relishing the feeling of your hands being in his once again as you dropped your gaze down to look at them. “I feel like I’m always acting in public, like I can’t relax. and I can’t even talk to anyone about it.”

“I wish you’d talk to me.” lando’s voice was equally as quiet as yours, his tone so genuine that you couldn’t help but relax just a little, fears of pushing him away by being too honest dissipating by the second. he reached a hand up to cup your cheek, and it was only when he brushed a thumb across your skin to wipe away a tear that you realised you’d started crying.

“really?” you blinked up at him with wide, watery eyes. “I thought you wouldn’t wanna hear about it.”

he took your face in both hands, eyebrows curved up into a soft frown. “why would you think that? is it… is it something I said? something I did?” you could tell he meant it genuinely, but it made you realise just how irrational you were being. nothing lando had ever said or done had given you any indication that he wouldn’t want to hear your thoughts, your concerns, the things that made you upset. you were still navigating things, but you were beginning to realise that this was someone who you could really open up to. someone who cared about you. you shook your head, brushing away your own tears with the palm of your hand, letting out a wet chuckle.

“no, no. you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being stupid.” you admitted, but now it was lando’s turn to shake his head.

“you weren’t being stupid.” he murmured, dropping his hands from your face and instead wrapping them around your waist, drawing you into his chest as he placed delicate kisses to the top of your head. “nothing you feel is stupid. it’s not easy keeping us a secret, trust me, I know.” he sighed, resting his chin on your head as he held you close. “I’m not embarrassed of you, y/n, I’m just trying to protect you. people… they can be pretty crazy when it comes to people I date. I just wanna keep you away from that just a little longer.”

you nodded into his chest. deep down, you knew that. you just needed to hear it from him. you let out a soft, contented sigh, the sound mirrored by lando as he tightened his grip round you just a little. he didn’t want to lose you, especially not over something like this, a fact he told his mum on the phone later that night as he finally told her all about you.

the final part is out now :)

a smau based on this fic is out now :)

[wriothesleybear]

Here's another Gallagher brain dump~

I dont know why but I can't stop thinking about Gallagher's legs. I dont know what it is about them that got me feral. Like just imagine sitting on his thigh. He'd have really nice thighs to sit on. When he wants you to sit on his lap, he'd just pat his thigh and tell you 'c'mere beautiful'. How could you say no to him. Everytime you sit on his thigh, he puts his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him to make sure you don't fall off. His heart melts when you're so sleepy that you fall asleep against his chest, head nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Also, when you rub his stubble with your hand or play with his hair while sitting on his lap, he can't promise that he won't fall asleep. It just feels so nice.

Anyways, on to the spicy thoughts. MDNI!

Man thinks it's hot when you rub yourself on his thigh or get off on just his thigh alone. He'll put his hands on your hips to help guide you. He also thinks it's hot when he's fully clothe while you don't wear anything or you wear one of his shirts with nothing underneath as you rub your pussy on his clothe thigh. Makes him feral. As you shake and moan from your release and his pant leg is soaked, he can't help himself from pushing you onto your stomach and thrusting his cock into you.

He loves to take you from behind. The view of your ass bouncing on his cock and the sight of his cock disappearing inside of you gets him hard. He also likes when your back is flat against his chest as he grinds into you. He's able to wrap an arm around your waist and put a hand on your throat as he thrusts into you from behind. As you're both getting close, he moves the hand on your waist down to your clit and rubs circles into it to help bring you closer to the edge. Little does he know the sounds of his grunts in your ear as he thrusts into you, begging you to cum helps brings you closer to the edge the most.

He likes cumming with you so he doesn't cum until you cum. As you both release, he helps you through your high as the circles on your clit slow down until they stop completely so he doesn't overstimulate you too much. As you're busy catching your breath, he's whispering praises of 'good girl' into your ear as he leaves sweet kisses onto your neck and his hands rub up and down your body to massage any sore spots. Once he can tell you can't stay up anymore and need some rest, he lays down onto his back and has you lay on top of him. Your head resting on his chest, listening to his soothing heartbeat as his hand caresses your back, occasionally combing your sweaty hair out of your face. He knows you like your head scratched so he gently combs your hair with his fingers, his nails softly scratching your scalp, putting you in a mesmerizing trance. His touch makes you calm and fall asleep faster.

Sometimes he talks about mundane things, but all you do is usually listen because you're too tired to speak. He doesn't mind though. Other times, you just lay there quietly, basking in each other's warmth and presence. It's a comfortable quiet, where all that can be heard is his calming heartbeat in your ear, the sound of his hand going up and down your bare back and eventually, your soft breathing as you fall asleep. He leaves a feather like kiss onto your forehead and he falls asleep as well.

[yoongiseesawmp3]

secret - jeonghan & seungcheol (m)

summary: new boyfriend!jeonghan & ex!seungcheol. your relationship with jeonghan is still new, and your breakup with cheol is still fresh. the three of you used to be close, but time, new jobs, and moving to different countries pulled you apart. now jeonghan is back home, filthy rich and very single. so are you. after some fun at a party, you start dating jeonghan seriously. will cheol’s return send you back into his arms, or will you stand by your man? or, perhaps, a mysterious third thing will happen instead :)

word count: 27k (don’t look at me)

warnings: afab reader. eventual threesome. lots of sex. lots of cum, creampie, cum mixing, cum eating? oral (m and f receiving). bondage. use of the color system. use of a vibrator in public. fingering. car sex kinda. some ass slapping? use of the word slut. 

masterlist

waking up at jeonghan’s was still a new experience for you. it’d been a few weeks since he asked you to move in with him, but it amazed you that you could open your eyes to an angel laying right next to you. today is no different. you rolled over after the first signs of morning woke you up, and you see jeonghan asleep with his hair slightly in his face, lips pouted in a silent snore. you brush the strands away from his eyes, and he lets out a noise between a hum and a groan.

“i’m sleeping,” he tells you.

“you’re doing a great job.”

“go back to sleep.”

“can’t, i’m bored now.”

“you’re insatiable,” he scolds, eyes snapping open because he knows what ‘bored’ really means. you spend the rest of the morning tangled in his sheets. er, your sheets. you live here now. jeonghan’s your boyfriend. isn’t that wild?

-

your relationship with jeonghan started because you were both bored. casual friends since college, you’ve known each other for years and never really knew each other. you weren’t confident you knew his last name until you heard it at graduation. after you graduated, you didn’t hear from him much, but that was more your fault than anything else. you broke his best friend’s heart. you were public enemy number one, until you weren’t anymore. 

you and seungcheol dated all through college. you fell in love fast, something so sickly sweet it made people around you gag, and a little jealous. let’s be clear though: jeonghan wasn’t one of those people. when you were with cheol, you were 100% his, and jeonghan respected that more than anything else. he was a good friend to cheol, and by proxy a good friend to you. nothing more. until he wasn’t anymore. 

your break up with cheol was messy. graduation took you both in different directions, and egos made it impossible for you to find a compromise. deep down, neither of you wanted to break up, you knew it was just the circumstances tearing you apart. but you chose your career and so did he, a stab to the chest that was self inflicted on both sides. when cheol chose his career, he also inadvertently chose jeonghan. they got jobs at the same great company abroad, and their twenty something brains couldn’t comprehend just how much fun they could get into as two handsome men with a lot of money. 

you’re doing well for yourself too, thanks for asking. not as filthy rich as the boys, but you were living comfortably. you kept in touch with a good chunk of your college friends, catching the way they tried not to gossip too much about seungcheol’s shenanigans overseas when you were in earshot. that’s how you heard jeonghan was in town a few months ago. he was going to a party that night, and just as the idea pops into your head your friend turns to you and asks if you want to go. 

the party, it turns out, was boring. the people there were also boring. what was exhilarating as hell was catching jeonghan’s gaze on you when you both knew it shouldn’t be. he’d play coy, turning away for at least a second before finding you again. finally tired of the conversation you can’t seem to escape, you keep staring back at jeonghan until he decides to come over and say hi. 

“y/n,” he smiles that cheshire cat grin at you, pulling you in for a polite hug. “it’s been so long.”

“i know,” you agree, a similar smile plastered on your own face. “i see you haven’t cut your hair since you left?”

“what, you don’t like it?” he laughs, shaking his long locks out so that his bangs fall slightly into his eyes. he looks good, you find yourself thinking. he took the black tie memo on the invitation seriously, wearing a suit so stunningly fit to his body you know it must be custom. 

“no, i like it,” you nod. “it’s a little douchey for a business man, but you make it work.”

“i thought being a douche was part of the job though?” he asks, and it’s your turn to laugh. jeonghan takes a sip of his drink, surveying the room before he turns back to you, “nice party.”

“sure,” you nod. “a little boring though.”

“stuffy too,” he tries, eyeing you carefully. “you wanna join me on the balcony?”

you knew going out there with jeonghan was a bad idea. you knew you shouldn’t be talking to him. you knew a lot of things were wrong with this scene, but too much of you wanted to see where it would go. turns out, it would go downhill pretty quickly. 

you joined jeonghan outside, letting the cool air brush off your nerves. you look at jeonghan and find him staring at you again, so you ask, “is my makeup smudged or something? you keep looking at me.”

“i can’t admire beautiful things?” 

“nice,” you chuckle, looking down at your shoes next to his. “did you want to say anything special? or are we really just out here to breathe some air that doesn’t smell like chanel no.5?”

“it’s been a long time,” jeonghan says again, and you nod. “are you seeing anybody right now, y/n?”

“hah, no,” you shake your head. “kind of on a break from men, if i’m honest. i started attracting too many weirdos not worth my time.”

“shame,” jeonghan tsks. “must have been hard for you.”

“yeah,” you agree, finding his eyes again, “boring too.”

“are you bored right now?” jeonghan asks. “because i’m pretty good at killing time.” 

“are you?” you challenge, and jeonghan hums. you feel a smile breaking across your face, your stomach doing flips as you say, “prove it then.”

-

that was about six months ago. if the owner of that venue’s asking, no you didn’t fuck jeonghan out on the balcony that night. anyone else asks and the answer would be yes, but you’d say it with a touch more dignity. you don’t know what attracted you to him so much that you had to have him right there. maybe you had been on your strike for too long, and you were just horny. or maybe it was the idea of something familiar. something safe. close to home. close to-

you’re ripped out of your thoughts by the sound of jeonghan calling your name. he had started a shower for himself before work, and now he’s all but begging you to come join him. why else would he have two shower heads, if not for you to spend some quiet time with your boyfriend who wants to dote on you before you start your day. or maybe he has them so it was less obvious to the builder that he wanted a shower he could have copious amounts of sex in. really, his obsession with shower sex probably needed to be analyzed by somebody, but he swears he likes it for ease (already naked) and just one personal reason (soapy boobs). 

the past six months have been...interesting to say the least. you really care for jeonghan, you do. you always have. but getting to know him in this new sense was different. every day was a surprise with him. part of that was due to his job, a not-so-9-to-5 that he ditched his crazy life in europe for so he could be closer to family. he left a life of beautiful food, beautiful places, and seungcheol behind for a better opportunity. maybe that’s what bonded you so quickly. despite not really wanting to, you’d both abandoned seungcheol without meaning to. 

you don’t talk about him much, only getting an update from jeonghan every so often when cheol deigns to text him back. they still work for the same parent company, so sometimes their paths cross in meetings or cheol has to call to confirm numbers with jeonghan’s new domestic team. other than that, there’s nothing to say. you’ve moved on (mostly) so you assume he has too. and now that you have jeonghan, you don’t have to worry about your feelings for cheol anymore. 

-

jeonghan asked you to move in with him mostly because he was bored. he had just renovated this huge penthouse, and after throwing a couple rager parties there he realized it was too lonely when everyone left and it was just him there, alone. you’d been trying to make a career change, so he convinced you by promising you could stay rent free and save up for when you get a new job and most likely take a pay cut. plus, he doesn’t worry about rent here either. he paid for it upfront, in cash. 

once you saw the penthouse, you knew you had to say yes. it was a dream, but what sold you was the view. standing at the floor to ceiling window, jeonghan’s hands around your waist, was the first time you’d felt something stir so deep in your heart for years. you haven’t said i love you yet to jeonghan, but then again neither has he. you know you care for each other through your actions. there’s love there, even if it’s unspoken right now. that’s part of what makes dating jeonghan so thrilling. you never know what he’s going to do next, a scheming smile on his lips and an exciting adventure planned for you no matter how big or how small. 

-

jeonghan is pretty adventurous, to say the least. he likes taking you to new restaurants where you’re not really sure what you’re eating. he loves whisking you away for weekend trips to places neither of you have ever been. his favorite though is bending you to his will, pushing you farther than you’ve been pushed before, just to see what it would take to make you crack. 

the sex with jeonghan is phenomenal. another aspect of your relationship where you never know what to expect. he likes to keep you guessing and gasping his name out in cracked moans. you started talking about things to do for his birthday, and when you asked what he wanted his only response was “you.” to some people that would be romantic, but you know it’s a challenge. it sent a shiver down your spine, much like his gaze whenever you catch his eyes at an event or get a random text throughout the day. you know when he’s bored it really means something else, so it’s become a code word of sorts. at tiring work parties or other obligations he wants out of, all he needs to do is look at you and yawn and you know to meet him in the closest secluded corner for a quick fuck. if he texts you that he’s bringing you lunch at work, you go ahead and tell your coworkers you’re taking the full hour, because you’ll need time to catch your breath and redress once he’s done with you.

today is one of those days, despite jeonghan’s best efforts earlier. you had a shitty morning after jeonghan left for work, almost forgetting your lunch, missing your train, all to come in and find out your biggest project to date is completely changing course. you were so frustrated you could cry, and when you texted jeonghan that you made it to work safely he knew something was off. he didn’t press though, knowing you well enough that asking what’s wrong instead of waiting for you to tell him will just start the waterworks early. instead he keeps his phone unlocked on his desk, completely ignoring whatever his assistant seungkwan is rambling about. 

“we need you to sign off on this, jeonghan,” seungkwan insists, pointing again to the document on jeonghan’s desk that he’s ignoring to watch your three dots appear and disappear again. he half asses his signature without reading the document, and seungkwan snatches it away from him. jeonghan will talk to him about that later. for now, he picks up his phone to read about your awful day and let’s out a quiet “aw baby” for you. as soon as seungkwan leaves there’s another knock at the door. jeonghan knows he’s getting into meeting after meeting now so he types out something sweet and encouraging before he puts his phone in his desk, standing to welcome whoever is on the other side of the door. 

jeonghan’s message boosted your mood, slightly. he knew how to sweet talk you, promising a bath, wine, and your favorite movie tonight when you get home. it was enough hope to get you through the day. that and imagining a cartoon anvil falling on this man in your meeting who keeps mansplaining the platform that you built. you’ve almost had it when you notice the clock, and you tell the team everyone should break for lunch. you all but run back to your desk before anyone can stop you, and when you’ve barely sat down you get a text. 

“coming for lunch,” jeonghan simply says, and your heart skips a beat. you contemplate eating quickly before he gets here, but he says he’s so close by that you don’t even have a chance. you dig for your food in the break room fridge, knowing you won’t get a chance to eat if jeonghan’s coming. at this point it’s mostly for show, because you can’t make it obvious that you’re leaving just to stress fuck your boyfriend. you tell your manager you’ll be taking the whole hour anyway, and then scurry outside just as jeonghan’s expensive car pulls up to your building. he slows the car to a stop in front of you, the window already down so he can call out, “hey sexy, you seen my girlfriend around here?”

“sorry mister, my mom told me not to talk to strangers,” you joke back, and your bad mood lifts when jeonghan laughs.

“get in baby,” he says, watching you intensely as you slide into the front seat. he frowns at the food in your lap, picking up the grocery bag you shoved your lunch into before you left. “what is this?”

“a picnic?”

“there are dinosaur nuggets in here,” he grumbles when he takes a peek. he looks up to you and asks, “you were gonna eat this for lunch?”

“yeah,” you shrug. “i didn’t have time for breakfast because someone took too long in the shower, so i had to pack something.”

“i didn’t even know we had these in the house,” jeonghan continues, looking at the chicken nuggets like he’s never seen something so foul. he carefully ties the bag and then tosses it into his backseat, much to your dismay. he looks at you with a cheeky smile, his hand squeezing your chin as he starts to maneuver the car out of the parking lot. “look back there baby, i picked up real food for you.” 

“i don’t wanna eat yet,” you say shyly, but jeonghan doesn’t hear so you have to repeat yourself. “i don’t wanna eat yet. don’t need all that sloshing around when you fuck me in a minute.”

“oh i’m gonna fuck you huh? and what if i just wanted to share a meal with my beautiful girlfriend?” he asks in fake shock. you lean across the armrest to kiss his cheek as you reply, “then i’d ask who you are and what have you done with yoon jeonghan.”

‘good girl,” he chuckles, expertly pulling the car into a parking spot in the empty spots at the back of the parking lot down the street from your office. for your sanity and jeonghan’s reputation, you pray there aren’t security cameras over here.

“so how was your morning?” you play coy as you watch jeonghan turn the car off. something passes over his face as he responds, but it’s there so shortly you don’t know how to read it.

“fine,” he clears his throat. “lots of meetings. almost got in a bitch fight with seungkwan because he didn’t want me to leave, said i’d be late to my next meeting.”

“he knows you well.”

“yeah, whatever,” jeonghan says as he twists in his seat to look at you directly. his hand is back on your chin, lifting it up so he can trace your lips with his thumb as he asks, “what was so bad about your morning?”

as you explain your trials, jeonghan slowly moves his hand from your chin down to your neck, across your collarbone, and down to the hem of your shirt. he carefully untucks it from your slacks, listening intently as you speak while unbuttoning your blouse slowly. when you get to the part about the jerk who assumed you didn’t know anything, jeonghan’s hand was working it’s way past your panties, his fingers dipping down to your entrance. he interrupts you only to ask, “damn baby, you this wet for me?”

“i’ve been wet since you texted me,” you say like its obvious, and jeonghan smiles proudly as he tells you to go on. you start recounting your meeting from hell, voice shaky now as his fingers circle your entrance and collect your slick so he can move them up to your clit, rubbing gently without applying too much pressure. when you’re finally done speaking, jeonghan captures your lips in a kiss, pulling back only slightly so he can tell you, “i’m sorry baby. you know you could always come work with me, and then no one would treat you like anything less than a queen.” you sigh instead of responding because jeonghan’s slipped two fingers into you, your arousal providing enough glide that he didn’t have to work you open with just one. he hisses when he feels how warm you are, and jeonghan is reminded for the millionth time why he’d follow you to the ends of the earth and back. your eyes. your smile. the way you cuddle into his neck when you don’t want to get out of bed. and the glorious feeling of being inside you, whether it’s his fingers, his tongue, or his cock. he can’t get enough of you, and he knows you feel the same way because you’re already bucking your hips, begging him for more. he pretends not to hear you, just fucking his fingers into you slowly as he listens for the lewd squelch of your pussy around him. 

“how’s it feel baby?” he asks quietly, and you whisper back that it feels good. “just good?”

“need more, hannie,” you whine, and he tuts.

“not yet,” he says as he checks the clock on the dashboard. “we’ve got time. you want another finger instead?”

“please,” you breathe out, and you watch him capture his tongue between his lips as he focuses on fucking you slowly. to fill the silence you ask quietly, “what did you bring for lunch?”

“i’m literally knuckles deep and you’d rather talk about the sandwich i bought you?” jeonghan laughs in disbelief. “i can’t believe you woman.”

“i told you, i didn’t eat this morning. i’m hungry.”

“need something in your mouth?” he asks, and as it so often is with jeonghan, you know this is a challenge. you think about what the right answer might be, and when you nod he lets a smile creep over his features as he says, “use your pretty little hands to get my cock out, then.” 

you do as he says, gasping when you lean over to reach his crotch and feel jeonghan’s fingers slip deeper. with shaky hands you undo his belt, looking up to make sure jeonghan’s watching. his dark eyes glint at you from above, and you blow him a kiss before unbuttoning his pants to find he’s not wearing any underwear. you look back up and see his shit eating grin, shrugging as he says, “what? i was running late.”

“you’re a menace,” you hiss, his fingers scissoring inside you. he does this a few more times as you take his cock in your hand, and when you lick the tip he stills completely. 

“don’t tease or i’ll stop right here,” he warns, so you get back to work, welcoming his cock past your lips and hollowing your cheeks so you can bob on his cock quickly. you’ve done this enough to know jeonghan wants something quick, messy, something that will make you embarrassed to face your coworkers after. you’re constantly shocked by his willpower though, moaning around him as his thumb finds your clit and starts drawing lazy circles. the vibrations of your moans shoot straight through jeonghan, but he shows no sign of mercy or that this is even affecting him at all. 

you groan and bob your head faster, using the saliva pooling past your lips as lube to stroke the rest of his cock. you pull off of him to catch your breath, jeonghan whispering encouragement above you as his hand stills at your core. he only starts moving again when you lean down to kitten lick his balls, legs twitching ever so slightly at the contact. you’re happy to have some kind of reaction from him, your ego boosted enough that you take a few more playful licks before holding him by the base and tapping his cock over your lips and waiting tongue. he watches you amused, waiting for you to give in, and when he shoves yet another finger inside your pussy you moan so loud your eyes roll back slightly, and jeonghan admires the way a little bit of drool drips past your lips onto his seat. he swipes it up with his free hand and pops the finger in his mouth, winking at you as you watch. 

you take him back into your mouth, ready to come and wanting to show him how good you can be, so you swallow around him until his cock is hitting the back of your throat and your nose is nestled against his lap, the smell of his expensive detergent drowning your senses. you’re brought back to visions of him fucking you senseless in his king bed, the sweet smell of fresh linen mingling with the scent of sex as jeonghan pulls orgasm after orgasm out of you. you shudder just at the memory, and he chuckles as he asks what you’re thinking about. you start to pull off of him to reply, but his hand stops you, chuckling as he says, “good girls don’t talk with their mouth full.”

you let him hold you down on his cock, giving up on sucking him off as you feel yourself get closer to release. jeonghan knows, so he holds you in place while he works you up to your orgasm, almost shrieking around his cock. you look up at him just as his eyes flutter, his hips sputtering as he starts to come. he keeps working you to your own high, and feeling jeonghan twitch as he comes down your throat sends you over the edge. his seat is almost ruined he thinks, seeing the way your release drips down his wrist. he groans as he watches you shake below him, always thinking you’re a work of art like this. he can’t help but admire it, and when he’s sure you’re done he moves his hand from the back of your head, reaching for your chin to carefully pull you off of him. you stick your tongue out for him to see that you swallowed it all, and he coos as he finally pulls his fingers from your core. he could be nice, he thinks, and just let you lick them clean, but instead he runs them across your face and watches as you lick at the arousal left behind. he swears he sees more drip out of you, and he has to look away or else you’ll never leave this car. 

“you ok baby?” he asks as you try to clean yourself up and avoid the puddle you left in your seat. 

“i’m great,” you say hoarsely, looking in the glovebox for napkins just to find a vibrator and handcuffs instead. you hold them up and jeonghan just smirks, saying, “i didn’t know what kinda mood you were in. i’m like a boy scout, gotta be prepared.”

“you don’t happen to have any of my makeup in this magic glovebox of yours do you?” you ask as you look at yourself in the rearview mirror, heart still racing from your high but somehow picking up speed when you see how fucked out you are and jeonghan barely did anything. he could drive you crazy, you think. when he softly pushes your arm off the center console to reveal everything you could possibly ever need (gum, jeonghan’s favorite lipstick on you, wipes, hand sanitizer, a pair of panties? and your favorite concealer and mascara) you think you could cry. this is what you mean when you say jeonghan loves you through his actions. he further drives that home as he reaches back for your lunch, mumbling to himself, “can’t believe she was gonna eat dino nuggets.”

-

when you come home that day, you’re giddy like a schoolgirl. because everything with jeonghan is still so new, sometimes it just hits you that you have a boyfriend. a boyfriend that you live with, and that always makes sure he’s home before you are so he can wrap you in a hug and kiss your forehead as soon as you get through the door. you’ve pavlov’d yourself into expecting this every time you get back from work, but today when you open the door and call out his name you’re met with silence. your eyes sweep across the living room and notice his briefcase tossed onto the couch, so you know he’s here somewhere. you head to the kitchen, stomach growling, and try to find a snack before you go searching for jeonghan. 

as you’re cutting up a mango, you hear soft steps padding down the stairs and jeonghan’s hushed voice on the phone. you strain to hear what he’s saying, wondering if this is a work call or something else. maybe he’s booking a reservation he doesn’t want you to hear about, but too bad. you leave the kitchen with the plate of mango in your hands, quietly joining him on the couch as he gives you a strained smile. you smile back, kissing the corner of his mouth before holding up a piece of mango for him, humming contently when he takes it despite saying something to whoever’s on the other side of the phone. you’ve ascertained that he’s setting up a meeting, and while you usually don’t pay too much attention to the specifics of his job you can tell he’s being vague. you watch him a little longer, absentmindedly licking the mango juice off your fingers before whispering that you’re going to your room, and jeonghan nods at you before smacking your ass as you walk away. he chuckles quietly when you let out a squeal, but his heart drops to his ass when he registers what’s being said on the other line.

“what was that?” seungcheol asks, and jeonghan’s hand heats up where he just touched you. “you need me to let you go?”

“no, no, i was just getting my mail and bumped into my neighbor,” jeonghan lies easily, hoping cheol is gullible enough to buy it. 

“big important guy like you i figure you’d have someone to do that for you,” cheol laughs, and jeonghan gives him a pity chuckle before bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand.

“so when’s your flight?” 

“end of this week,” seungcheol sighs. “i’m not ready to leave yet, man. i’m gonna miss how beautiful everything is here.”

“life on this side of the world isn’t too bad,” jeonghan tells him. 

“yeah sure, with all the mail you’ve been getting i bet it’s nice,” cheol teases, and jeonghan should’ve known his friend would see through him quickly.

“whatever,” jeonghan laughs. “just let me know when you’re in town and we’ll get dinner before the meeting.”

“you’re a classy man, yoon jeonghan,” cheol says, and jeonghan’s throat constricts ever so slightly. if only his friend knew who was in his bed right now, maybe cheol wouldn’t be so kind. 

jeonghan tiredly trudges upstairs, ears perking up at the sound of music coming from the bedroom. he cracks the door to see you leaning against the copious amount of pillows, scrolling through your phone as you snack on the mango at your side. you look up at the sound of the door, smiling softly at jeonghan. you’re about to beckon him over, but he takes a deep breath and says, “i’ve got to tell you something.”

“oh,” you breathe out, a little worried about what it could be. you pat the spot next to you regardless, and jeonghan perches on the bed cautiously, almost like he doesn’t want to be close to you when he says what he has to say. you’re nervous for a moment, but the way he’s looking at you isn’t what you expected. he’s not about to tell you he did something wrong, he’s about to tell you something he’s afraid of.

“seungcheol is coming back,” he starts, and before you can even react he says, “he can’t know about us.”

“he-what?” you ask, and jeonghan reaches for your hands as he settles on the bed, trying to bring you closer as he explains, “he’s coming back to work at my company. i didn’t hire him, i swear. we apparently acquired whatever business he was running, so now he’ll be managing it under me. he called to tell me the good news. he’s coming back this friday. and he can’t know that we’re together.”

“why not?”

“because it’s...weird,” jeonghan says nervously.

“what about us is weird, jeonghan?” you ask, and he can tell he messed up.

“no, baby, that’s not what i mean,” he tries to backtrack. “i just. for a little while. it might be best for you to...not come around so often?”

“what, so i just stop coming to your work parties?” you ask, and jeonghan closes his eyes as your frustrations rise. “can’t come visit you on my days off? and when you invite people out after work for drinks, i assume he’ll come with you. so i’m just supposed to sit at home all the time now?” 

“honey, i’m sorry,” he says softly, his eyes meeting yours and you can tell there’s a little bit of hurt there. “i just don’t know how we could explain this to him, and it’ll be hard enough getting him integrated into the company. i don’t want this to fail before it even starts, so, for now, he can’t know. but you’re still my number one, baby. i don’t know how you could ever think otherwise,” he says softly, brushing your hair behind your ears. you’re quiet as you think of how to respond, and you let jeonghan use his hand on your neck to guide you in for a tender kiss. against your lips he says, “i’m sorry.”

“don’t be sorry,” you sigh, leaning back in to kiss him again. “i’m proud of you for acquiring his company, that’s big,” jeonghan nods, “and i agree, it’d be too weird to explain. honestly i don’t know that i want to see him at all. but this means i’ll see less of you,” you pout, and with jeonghan’s hand still on your neck you feel his grip tighten.

“impossible,” he whispers, pecking your lips quickly before swiping his tongue over your bottom lip. “mm, you taste like mango.”

“yeah?”

“lemme taste something else,” he says with a smirk, and soon you’ve forgotten what he came in here to tell you in the first place.

-

a different version of you would’ve been upset that you could forget cheol so easily. for a long time, you thought he was the great love of your life. but if both of you would pick something else over each other so quickly, maybe your love wasn’t that great after all. you had settled into your life without seungcheol, so it makes sense that you forgot about his return so quickly. 

for seungcheol though? he’s wondering if he should call you. at least let you know he’s gonna be back in town. he won’t say that he’s staying, he’ll open the conversation and see what you do with it. he just wants to see you, see how you’re doing. a selfish part of him wants you to see how well he’s doing too, and he thinks for a moment that he should get the gang back together and invite jeonghan. he decides against it only because he wants some time alone with you to apologize. if this goes well, then he can think about jeonghan coming along. 

when cheol picks up his phone to call you, jeonghan is staring sappily into your eyes over dinner. you’ve had a rough week at work, so jeonghan insisted on comfort food at his favorite fancy place. he wanted to pamper you tonight, starting with giving you the shoes you’ve been salivating over for weeks now. he helped you get dressed and took his time kissing every inch of your skin that he could reach. now, over a plate of the most delicious pasta you’ve ever had, jeonghan is listening to you passionately talk about god knows what. he could listen to you talk like this for hours, but you stop mid-sentence and start looking for something. 

“what’s wrong baby?” he asks, reluctantly letting your hand slip out of his so you can twist around in your chair.

“i’m looking for my phone, it’s ringing,” you mumble as you struggle to untangle your purse from the back of your chair. 

“but baby,” he whines. “we’re on a date.”

“you know my mom usually calls me around this time,” you point out as you find your phone. “i at least need to check that it’s-”

“what?” jeonghan asks, noticing the confusion on your face. “not your mom?”

“no? it’s a weird number,” you say, showing him quickly. it looks familiar, and when jeonghan realizes why it’s too late. “hello?” you ask quietly, not wanting to be the annoying person on the phone in a public place, but curiosity got the best of you. 

“y/n?” seungcheol asks, and your breath catches in your throat. “y/n? hello?”

“seungcheol, hi,” you respond, looking at jeonghan with your eyes wide. he sits back in his chair and groans, but the sound of the restaurant covers it up. “um, what’s up?”

“how are you?” cheol asks, and you give him a curt response. “listen, i can tell you’re out doing something, but i just wanted to let you know i’m coming back home. i mean, i’m leaving my job in europe and taking on a new role here. with jeonghan. kind of. it’s his company. whatever, i’m rambling, i just wanted to let you know-”

“hang up,” jeonghan mouths, and you shake your head, listening to cheol talk himself in circles a little more. jeonghan reaches across the table and tugs on your arm but you swat him away, whispering a fierce warning to stop. 

“sorry, seungcheol, um, that sounds like a great opportunity,” you tell him once he’s finished up. “t-tell jeonghan i say hi. and good luck with everything, really.” you hate to rush him off the phone like this, but the way jeonghan is staring at you has your stomach doing flips. there’s no way cheol can be onto you so soon, but you tried your best to keep him off the scent. you just hope it works. “it was nice hearing from you, bye cheol!”

“yeah, sure,” he says suspiciously, looking at his phone to confirm that you did in fact hang up on him. your response was weird, awkward, which is understandable. but the weird part is that you completely ignored his invitation to meet for lunch. you sounded distracted, so maybe you didn’t hear him. maybe you didn’t want to see him at all. or maybe you were out with someone who wouldn’t like their girlfriend making plans with some random guy. whatever it is, cheol is onto you, but what keeps him content is that he knows your paths will cross again soon, planned or not. 

jeonghan was quiet after you hung up, mostly playing with the food on his plate as you watched him. you tapped his foot with your own beneath the table, skirting it up toward his calf when he doesn’t respond. you feel a warm hand grab your ankle, and jeonghan’s eyes are staring at you sternly as he asks, “why did you answer it?”

“i was curious.”

“but i told you not to answer it. then i told you to hang up, and you didn’t listen.”

“it’s my phone?” you say incredulously. “i’ll answer it if i want to.”

“but it was seungcheol,” jeonghan says. “he could figure out what’s going on.”

“why are you so insistent on cheol not knowing about us?” you ask. “like, i get not wanting to hurt his feelings. but he’s not here right now, and you’re being kind of a dick.”

“baby, i’m sorry,” he sighs. “i’m just afraid of you getting hurt.”

“me?”

“you and cheol have a lot of history,” jeonghan says carefully. “i guess i was trying to protect you from being around him and, i don’t know, getting upset over what happened. that you’re not with him anymore.”

“how could i ever be upset when i have you taking care of me?” you ask softly, looking for jeonghan’s hand so you can squeeze it assuringly as you say, “baby, yes, cheol and i have history. but you’re my now and my future as long as you don’t break me during sex some day.”

“got it,” he finally laughs, taking a deep breath. “sorry for being weird about it.”

“it’s ok,” you tell him. “you being possessive like that was a little hot.”

“down girl,” he teases, squeezing your hand now. “we’ve got two more courses here before we can leave.”

“have i mentioned how much i love this food, by the way?” you ask, and that sends you both into an easy conversation about food and how you want to do a pasta making date night. jeonghan takes his phone out to make a reminder for himself to find the best class in the city, and he sees a message that makes his heart stop. it’s from seungcheol, short and sweet.

“we need to talk,” it says. jeonghan locks his phone then, putting on a smile to cover up the way he just started to sweat.

-

you and jeonghan enjoy a sweet weekend together, having two blessed days where you don’t go anywhere. saturday is spent mostly sleeping, only leaving your bed for necessities and to find another book when you finish your first one. as you’re scanning the bookshelves jeonghan put up in his room just for you, he admires the way his old dress shirt hangs off of you. he doesn’t know why you insist on sleeping in his old clothes, but it warms his heart nonetheless. he loves that you don’t wear much underneath, so it’s not hard for him to pull you in for a hug just for his hand to brush you in places that send goosebumps across your skin. he wants you to hurry up and pick a book so you’ll come back to bed, his hands itching to skirt across your waist and pull you into his chest. 

he knows you’re both serious about each other. like you, he knows this is love without it being spoken. but he almost said it this morning, it almost slipped off his tongue as he woke up to the sound of clinking coffee mugs. he smiled sleepily at you as you placed his on his nightstand, grabbing your now free hand to kiss your palm and each of your fingertips. you claimed the warmth of the coffee in this heat is what caused your cheeks to flare up, but jeonghan knows better. he watched you proudly as you shuffled to your side of the bed, all of a sudden very happy that you’re here, his, and living in this space with him. 

you take a delicate sip of your coffee before you crawl back under the covers, and jeonghan admires the way you relish the taste, eyes closing slightly and a content smile on your lips as you finally rejoin him in bed. you yelp as he pulls you closer, hooking an arm around you so that you’re laying against his chest with his lips at the crown of your head. he thinks about saying it then, those three words, but your polite “let go of me, you freak” shakes him out of his thoughts, chuckling as he loosens his grasp so you can grab your book and then lay back down in his arms. you hold the book so that he can read along with you if he wants, but he’s still tired, so instead he lets himself drift off as you speed through the pages. 

when you finish your book, your first instinct is to get up and replace it on the shelf it came from. jeonghan always scolds you for keeping a messy nightstand, so you try to get in the habit of returning finished books as quickly as possible, but when you turn to look at the man in question you coo and decide that admiring your sleeping angel of a boyfriend is the better option. you reach out a hand to trace his eyebrows, down the soft slope of his nose, ending at his mouth. you press a kiss to your fingers and trace the outline of his lips, giggling when his top lip twitches at your touch. you love his lips, love the way they feel against your skin, the way they stretch across jeonghan’s perfect smile when he tells you something cheeky. you lose yourself for a moment as you play with them, maybe flicking your thumb over his plump bottom lip too hard because next thing you know there’s two strong arms holding you captive. jeonghan peeks an eye open at you, sheepish smile on your face as he asks, “what the hell are you doing?”

“playing with your lips,” you reply easily. “they’re my favorite toy.”

“oh these?” he asks, pouting his lips as he feigns going cross eyed to stare at them. he loves to make you laugh, the sound breaking him from his silly expression and into a fit of giggles similar to yours. you press your forehead to his as you calm down, your breaths mingling together as they steady out into the same inhales and exhales. “i really like waking up next to you,” jeonghan admits quietly. you look up to make sure he sees your eyes as you respond, “it’s kinda my favorite thing now, so i’m glad you like it. even when i have morning breath.”

“good thing you drink coffee like an addict,” jeonghan teases, tickling your nose with a strand of your hair. “because right now i’m just getting cafe bustelo and brown sugar.”

“mm,” you hum, “i want another coffee,” you say as you try to get up, but jeonghan’s vice grip stops you. 

“kiss first,” he says sternly, and you feel your cheeks warm as you lean back down to press your lips into his. he deepens the kiss briefly, letting you pull away to say, “hm, you taste like brown sugar too.”

“and you taste like cinnamon,” you smile, loving that spending so much time with you has turned jeonghan onto your favorite coffee recipes. “now let me go and i’ll make you a new one.”

“fine,” he sighs dramatically. “but come back quick.”

“you’re clingy today,” you notice, and you look at him fully. “is everything ok?”

“yeah honey,” he smiles, but there’s a hesitation there. “i just..you know i’m yours right?”

“of course i do hannie,” you smile back, and he nods. “anything else?”

“if i’m yours, you know that means you’re mine,” he smirks, and you nod again. “no complaints?”

“hm, you could do laundry a little more often-” you start to joke, but a pillow comes flying for your head. with a laugh you reach out for jeonghan’s leg under the covers, giving it a reassuring squeeze as you ask, “are you sure everything’s good? this is weirding me out.”

“i’m good,” he shrugs. “wanted to be sure.”

you watch him closely, but you decide there’s nothing further to discuss. you reach for his coffee mug and he passes it to you, only jerking it back once or twice when you reach for it. once you start pouting he gives in, handing it over with ease. you’re gone and back within a few minutes, two new drinks in your hands, but jeonghan’s eyes are closed again so you place his drink down before kissing his forehead lightly. you put your drink down and finally return your book, looking for your next victim. when you lay back down you stick to your side of the bed, not wanting to bother jeonghan. you’re obviously unaware that he was watching you the entire time you searched for a new book, but once you’re settled with the amount of pillow to back ratio you hear him mumble something into the blankets. you lean closer and ask him to repeat, and you hear a soft, “will you read to me?”

he’s never asked you to do this before, and you’re not sure how romantic it will be to read a thriller novel to your boyfriend, but you do it anyway. something’s gotten into jeonghan, you’re not sure what, but something’s on his mind. you’ll let him come to you about it, but even as you read the book out loud you barely process the words. you’re just worried about the change in jeonghan over the past few days, and you think you know what, or who, the culprit is. 

-

jeonghan had to welcome cheol into the office next week. he’s starting this week transitioning back to life at home, then he’s coming in closer to the weekend to finish up his paperwork. he starts next monday, and jeonghan has promised him dinner one night this week. he does this with any of his new employees, no matter their status. he takes them out for a meal, gets to know them, makes them feel welcome as part of the company, and everyone loves him for it. it’s why so many people fight to get the chance to work for him, and it’s also the reason why nobody wants to leave once they do. jeonghan takes care of his people. he defends them, wants the best for them, and can mediate any problem no matter how big or small. he’s the perfect boss, the perfect boyfriend, he’s just...perfect. 

but lately, he’s been having doubts. he’s been doubting himself, his relationship with you. he won’t admit it, but he’s afraid of you seeing cheol after all this time and wanting to go back to him. he never understood how you two could split so easily, so his biggest fear is that whatever feelings may be laying dormant will come back with a vengeance the moment you and seungcheol are back in a room together. that’s why he tries to talk about him as little as possible despite being on the phone with him all the time. seungcheol is a hard worker, so he’s already got questions for jeonghan, clients to bring over, applicants to interview for his assistant. jeonghan admires the tenacity, but he’s walking on eggshells around you so the topic of cheol never comes up. that becomes nearly impossible when seungcheol reminds jeonghan of their promised meal together, and jeonghan tries to pick a night when he knows you’ll be tired and therefore fine with him going out. 

he decides on tuesday night for dinner with cheol, and everything seems fine at first. you’ve got to go into the office early for a slew of back to back meetings, so you assure jeonghan you’ll be exhausted when you’re done. whatever “company thing” he has to do tonight can be done solo, and you tell him you’ll be expecting a kiss when he gets home, even if you’re asleep. he takes a slight breath of relief and promises he’ll be sweet to you when he gets back, pleased that it seems the topic he’s avoiding won’t have to come up at all.

tuesday comes, and you were fine with going home to no jeonghan, but as your day dragged on you realized there was no way you’ll be leaving on time. thing after thing keeps getting dumped on you until you’re on the verge of a freak out, and you text jeonghan to get some clarity. you tell him your day’s been awful, you’ll be home late, the usual, and he doesn’t respond. you’re so busy you don’t even have time to be upset about that, because as soon as you put your phone down you’re getting an email that almost makes you cry frustrated tears. you work on though, the only thing getting you through is the idea of falling into jeonghan’s arms as soon as you walk through the door. 

jeonghan didn’t respond to you because seungcheol ended up coming into the office today, eager to set up his office and get straight to work next week. it was a surprise for sure, seeing his friend after so long, but thankfully they fell back into their usual rapport once the awkward pleasantries were over with. jeonghan had been busy helping seungcheol organize his desk, explaining some of the more important files that seungkwan had already placed in cheol’s office for him to review. jeonghan was trying to save some of the business talk for their dinner tonight, but they ended up having a working lunch instead, jeonghan divulging all of the things he’s needed his best friend for in their time apart. 

“shit, is that the time?” cheol asks as he checks his watch. jeonghan looks at his phone then, seeing messages from you and wishing he could answer immediately. he’ll wait until he’s back in his office just to be safe. “i took up your whole day, i’m sorry.”

“no worries,” jeonghan waves him off. “it was nice catching up. it’s gonna be good having you here.”

“i’m really excited to get started,” cheol says.

“no shit, couldn’t tell,” jeonghan laughs. “but we’ve basically gone through everything i was planning to say at dinner. welcome to the team, this is the company culture, stay on top of your tasks, blah blah. come to me if you ever need anything, and uh, don’t drink the hazelnut coffee in the break room. it’s disgusting.”

“got it,” cheol nods. “i can’t believe i kept you here this long, if you need to leave, we can forget dinner.”

“no, i have time,” jeonghan thinks for a moment. “i should at least take you to this whiskey bar down the block, i think you’d like it. i do a lot of client meetings there.”

“sure, let’s go!”

-

the bar ended up being closed. who knew tuesday was a slow day for whiskey, because apparently it’s always closed on tuesdays and jeonghan had no clue. he feels bad that he’s not giving cheol the promised welcome meal or a nice drink on the company’s dime, so when seungcheol asks to see jeonghan’s place he has a hard time saying no. 

“i’m sure you’ve got a great home bar,” cheol says, “and i’d love to see your place. if that’s ok, of course.”

“um, let me just-”

“check with your girlfriend first?” cheol asks, and jeonghan stops cold. he tries to play it off, shaking his head with an excuse on his lips, but when jeonghan looks up at him there’s a knowing look in his eyes. “you don’t have to hide it. i knew there was always a reason you sound distracted on the phone. just didn’t know sly yoon jeonghan could be held down by anybody.”

“haha, yeah, it’s a miracle,” jeonghan laughs nervously. “but, um, no, i don’t need to check with anybody. i was just. yeah, sure, yeah, we can have a drink at my place. but i need to make it quick, sorry,” he starts to lie, “my meeting with london tomorrow just got pushed to the ass crack of dawn, so it’ll be an early night for me.”

“just one drink,” cheol nods, clapping his hand on jeonghan’s back. “send me your address. you want me to bring flowers as a housewarming gift, or is that too much?”

-

when you’re finally leaving work, it’s about three hours later than normal. you took a break to eat dinner, so that added to your time, knowing that jeonghan would have a hissy fit if he knew you worked late and didn’t eat. your meal added on to your time, but it definitely didn’t diminish the amount of work you had to do. by the time you get back to your apartment, you’re tired, you’re frustrated, and those tears from earlier are creeping back again. you text jeonghan when you’re close by, and again when you get into the lobby and ask if he picked up the package that came. nothing all day, and now suddenly he can’t seem to respond quick enough.

“wait for me outside,” the text reads, which you think is odd, but whatever. you check the mailroom anyway, shuffling along on autopilot as jeonghan loses his mind upstairs.

why? because cheol is still here. jeonghan forgot how easy it was for drunk cheol to go off on tangents, and he’s in the middle of one now that doesn’t seem like it’ll slow down in time for jeonghan to shoo him out the door without running into you. he’s trying to run through each solution when he hears your key in the lock, stopping cheol mid-sentence so he can smirk and say, “guess the lady of the house is home?”

jeonghan shoots up to intercept you, trying to stop the door from pushing open too much to reveal you to cheol or vice versa. but he’s too late. he can tell by the shock in your eyes, followed quickly by tears. you duck back out into the hallway and he follows, closing the door behind him and praying to god that cheol stays put. 

“baby, baby what’s wrong?” jeonghan asks, holding your hands to his chest as you try to calm down. your lip trembles as you explain, “i just had the worst day at work, i’m so tired of this job, i’m exhausted and frustrated and i wanted to come home to you and i was already about to cry but then he’s in there-wait, why is he in our house, hannie?” you ask, a bit of understandable anger in your voice. “i thought he couldn’t know about us,” you all but spit out, and jeonghan lets his head hang as he explains.

“i thought i’d be able to get him in and out before you got back,” he starts out. “i’m sorry i didn’t respond to you all day, but everything got away from me, and the place i was going to take cheol was closed, and he asked to see the apartment and i couldn’t really say no.” 

“well get him out of there,” you hiss. “i can’t handle this right now.”

“handle what?” jeonghan asks, and you groan at the jealousy in his voice.

“hannie!” you whine. “you know what i mean. i was trying not to cry all the way home and now there’s a man in our house and i have to cry in the hallway. my day can’t get any worse.”

“i’m sorry,” jeonghan says. “i’m sorry. i’ll get him out. but...”

“what?” you groan, and jeonghan looks at you shamefaced. 

“baby, if you don’t want to see him you’ll have to hide in the lobby or something. otherwise i bring you back inside and you have to address him there, or you stay out here and see him then.”

“i can’t just hide behind you?” you ask quietly, and he shakes his head. “‘fraid not, my love.”

“you’re in the shit, yoon jeonghan,” you say with an accusing finger under his chin. “you owe me.”

“you know i’ll make it up to you,” he whispers, dipping down to give you a chaste kiss. he leads you back to your door, pushing it open and clearing his throat when he sees cheol sitting with his head almost between his knees on the couch. “seungcheol, i can explain.”

“i don’t want to hear a word,” he says, standing up to get in jeonghan’s face. “some friend you are. how could you not tell me?”

“i’m sorry, i-”

“leave him alone,” you pipe up, and cheol’s anger turns to you briefly. once he looks at you, really looks at you, it all fades away and a soft ache replaces it. “seungcheol i think you should leave.”

“but-”

“you’re a guest in our home, and you’ve overstayed your welcome,” you hold your ground, but still don’t make eye contact with him. it’s comical, actually. you really are hiding behind jeonghan as you watch cheol leave.

“i can’t believe this,” he scoffs, gathering his things and pressing past you both. he looks back at you passingly as you close the door in his face, and your heart stirs in a way you don’t understand. the way cheol was looking at you burns into the backs of your eyelids, and you shake your head to get rid of it. jeonghan’s soft lips on your neck pull you back to reality, and he falls into another round of apologies. you turn around in his grasp, resting your head against his neck before you say, “jeonghan, it’s alright. let’s just go to bed.”

-

it’s safe to say that seungcheol is pissed. what’s infuriating about it though, at work he acts like nothing’s wrong. in meetings, through emails, on conference calls, cheol is the perfect associate. in the hallways though? the elevator? the break room? jeonghan feels ice shooting daggers through cheol’s gaze whenever their paths cross. he needs a chance to explain, but cheol won’t give it to him. he’s hurt that his friend would do this to him and keep it a secret, but what hurts just as much is that you’d date his best friend, hell, you’ve moved in with him, and cheol had no clue. from either of you. it’s hard to process that two people who were once so important to him could betray him like this, and with each other. he’s content to keep his relationship with jeonghan completely professional, hopeful that if he plays his cards right he’ll never have to be around you for extended periods of time. 

the first test of that comes this friday with a company celebration for the acquisition of so many new accounts, cheol’s included. he has to go, and he knows you’ll be there a majority of the night. he’s ready to dodge and weave, staying on alert for where you are at all times. but the moment he lets his guard down, you’re at his side, ordering a drink at the bar. you didn’t notice it was cheol or else you never would’ve approached, but jeonghan has been talking to some creepy accountant for so long you needed an out. cheol glances to the side and sees two glasses in your hands, sadly meeting your eyes as he acknowledges that one of them must be for jeonghan. you open your mouth to say something, but he’s disappeared into the crowd before you can even say hello. 

you get back to jeonghan to find him typing on his phone, and a quick peek tells you that he’s asking seungkwan to remove said creepy accountant from the premises. you smile as you hand him his drink, putting your hand under his chin so you can steady yourself to kiss his cheek. he lets you once, but then he turns so he can steal a kiss before you realize what’s happening. it makes you laugh, and the sound rings out across the corner of the room. 

“shh, baby,” jeonghan laughs. “can’t let everyone here know you’re having a better time than they are.”

“it’s a nice party though,” you tell him. “they should all be enjoying it.”

“i hope so,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to hold back the strands that have fallen out of place, only for them to drape back over his face softly. 

“you look sexy, by the way.”

“do i?” he smiles, and you nod, kissing his cheek again. he uses this as a chance to whisper in your ear, “and you’re stunning as always. i can’t keep my eyes off of you.”

“hannie stop,” you giggle, letting your face heat up as you pull away from him again. he drapes an arm around you now, pulling you into his side as he turns to face the rest of the room. with his lips closely pressed to your hairline he whispers something else that makes your skin erupt in goosebumps.

“i’m not the only one who can’t stop staring,” jeonghan says, turning you until you’re facing seungcheol from across the room. he’s right, cheol’s eyes are locked in on you and jeonghan. weird, considering he couldn’t get away from you fast enough earlier. even now his gaze holds strong, and you feel your blush deepen, this time from embarrassment and something more. “he’s been watching you all night.”

“stop,” you repeat, and jeonghan chuckles so lowly that you feel the sound rumble in your own chest pressed next to his. “he’s angry.”

“you think so?” jeonghan asks, his own gaze following yours to stare at cheol. “think we should talk to him?”

“actually, i do,” you say, breaking the stare down to look up at jeonghan. “or at least i should. you’re a good man, hannie, but i’m afraid you’d both get so cocky you wouldn’t be able to get through to him.”

“you think that’s a good idea?” he asks with a touch of warning in his voice. “he’s been hard to get through to all week-”

“and maybe if i talk to him, i can fix that,” you reply. then, quieter, almost like you don’t want to admit it to yourself, you ask, “come on, don’t you miss him?”

either you’re right and jeonghan does miss his best friend, or he’s scared to acknowledge that you might miss him too. regardless he nods and loosens his grip so you can step away. cheol watched that whole exchange, so he sees you coming. when you get close he tries to hide, but you don’t care, you call out his name loud enough for the partygoers around you to part like the sea just to get you through to him faster. 

“cheol, hi,” you say with a shy smile once you’re close enough to speak at a normal volume. “um, i didn’t get to say anything earlier at the bar, so i’m sorry i yelled just now.”

“no worries,” he says curtly. 

“i just..wanted to get your attention,” you continue, watching him unsure. “i want to talk, if that’s ok.”

“i don’t wanna hear it,” he replies, and he’s about to turn away but you place a delicate hand on his arm, squeezing lightly as you say, “no, really. we need to talk.” 

you can feel jeonghan’s eyes on you as you lead cheol out to the balcony, major deja vu to the first night you and jeonghan became something. crazy how things come full circle, you think. you catch jeonghan’s eyes from across the room and nod at him, but his face is unmoving, watching you apprehensively with something close to worry in his eyes.

out on the balcony, cheol tries to keep as much space between you as possible. you tried joining him at the railing but he slid away childishly, and then when you took another step in his direction he moved to the chairs like he was going to sit down. you can tell there’s nervous energy behind his dark brown eyes, so you let him scramble for a minute before calling his name.

“cheollie,” you whisper so softly that the wind almost takes it away. the sound of his nickname falling from your lips stops him cold, his sad eyes looking up at you as you begin to explain. “none of this is what it looks like.”

“you sure about that?” he scoffs, finally sitting down at one of the chairs in front of you. you remain standing, leaning against the railing, and you can see the flash of jeonghan’s suit through the windows. was he listening?

“jeonghan and i started dating a few months ago, after he moved back home. we hadn’t even talked since you and i...broke up..but we were at the same party, and we started hanging out-”

“i don’t need to hear that,” cheol says dismissively. “i need to hear you and jeonghan apologize for not telling me. my two best friends. the two people i used to be closer to than anybody else, leaving me for each other?” 

“that’s not what happened though,” you whine.

“y/n please,” he rolls his eyes. 

“no, seungcheol, you’re not listening to me,” you say sternly, crossing your arms over your chest for good measure. it’s just a bonus that it makes your dress shift ever so slightly, showing the lacy edge of your bra underneath. cheol’s eyes are shamelessly on your chest as you go on. “jeonghan and i never did anything to betray you, other than choosing what was better for our lives, our careers, in the long run. if i remember correctly, you had a couple choices to make too, and i think you chose exactly the same thing. so whatever butt hurt feelings you have? get over it. we’re all here now. you and hannie need to work together, so put your big boy pants on and work. that also requires you to at least say hi to me when i see you at these events.” you take a breath before you go on. “i know it may not be easy..but it’s what we all have to do. got it?”

“yes ma’am,” cheol nods, standing and crossing over to you. he moves so that he’s barely caging you in, making sure you can’t leave as he says, “but just know. i’ll be mature about this. i’ll be the best god damn employee here, and i’ll treat you like a queen if that’s what it takes to make you stop pouting. but you and i both know we belong together.” he pauses so he can try to read your face, continuing with his dark eyes staring you down. “so know that every day i come into work. every fancy party i’m at. all i’m going to be thinking about is you.”

“cheol, i-” your voice is cut off by the sound of the balcony door opening, and your heart stops until you see vernon, seungcheol’s assistant, poking his head outside. 

“hey, you’re missing the toast,” he tells cheol, who hasn’t turned around at all. he nods and says he’ll be there soon, vernon stepping back into the party unnoticed. cheol holds your gaze a moment longer before finally turning away.

“it was nice talking to you, y/n,” he says once he reaches the door. he sends you a wink before slipping through the door. “hopefully i’ll see you again very soon.”

-

you can’t stop thinking about what cheol said out on the balcony. you rejoin the party a few moments after him, sticking to the back as you listen to jeonghan lead the toasts to all their new employees, a brighter future, his usual charming boss speeches that everyone just eats up. you’re pressing your fingers to your lips, thoughts flooding through your head, when you hear your name called out and suddenly feel a roomful of eyes on you.

“and personally i just want to thank my rock, y/n, for being my voice of reason,” jeonghan says. “you’d be surprised how many of the important decisions i make here are actually because of her, so i’d like to raise a toast to her and all the other unspoken heroes of our company-” as he continues on, everyone’s focus shifts, but you feel one set of eyes still on you. you turn and find cheol, staring at you knowingly with a champagne flute in his hand. he tilts it toward you with a wink before swigging it down in one gulp, and you turn away when you catch yourself admiring his jawline. when curiosity gets the best of you and you look back, he’s gone. 

-

once the event is over, you go back to jeonghan’s office to wait for him to politely talk to people until they get the hint that they need to leave. jeonghan says this is the reason he has a couch in his office, so you have somewhere comfortable to wait for him after parties, but really he got it because he doesn’t always want to fuck on his desk. you wonder if tonight will be one of those nights, but you think that question is answered when jeonghan walks through the door and collapses on top of you in exhaustion. you wrap your arms around him, a hand instantly falling to the back of his head so you can play with his hair. he hums into your neck, placing a single kiss on your skin before his breathing evens out. you lay like this for a while, content to stay like this all night, but you know you need to tell him about cheol. 

“hannie,” you whisper, and his lack of a response makes you think he’s actually asleep. you push him up by the forehead, giggling when he looks at you confused and mumbles, “what.”

“hey cutie,” you whisper, kissing his forehead. “get up, you’re crushing me.”

“deal with it.”

“jeonghan, seriously,” you say, and he finally lifts himself up, staring at you expectantly. “i need to tell you about cheol.”

“tell me tomorrow,” he says before falling back onto your chest. “don’t feel like getting pissed off right now.”

“you’re both annoying,” you grumble, and that gets his attention. 

“he was annoying?” he asks, his cheek still pressed against your chest. you can feel his warm skin on yours, and his cheek is pushed up so that his face is smushed. it’s cute, but you can’t get distracted. “tell me more.”

“he’s mad,” you start, “so i was right-”

“you’re always right-”

“don’t be a kiss ass,” you say sternly, and jeonghan chuckles. “what?”

“now i’m just thinking about your ass,” he says with a cheeky smile, peeking an eye open at you. 

“jeonghan!” you whine. “can you please take this seriously! i tried talking to cheol about us, about all of us being mature about this, and he was really...he made it seem like..”

“like what?” jeonghan asks, sitting up suddenly. “he made it seem like what, y/n?”

“like he wasn’t over me,” you whisper, and jeonghan sees red for a moment. “he didn’t try anything. he didn’t want to be anywhere near me, n-not that i tried getting close to him! but like, i tried talking to him at the railing and he ran away, and then i could tell he was staring at my chest and he was like, super vague but still upset, and he said something about us being meant for each other and i just-”

“do you agree with him?” jeonghan asks, and you stop. “do you think you’re meant for each other?”

“hannie, i...he’s upset,” you reply, not giving him the response he wants. “he didn’t want to hear me explain anything, but he’s obviously hurt. he said he was going to change his attitude at work, but i don’t think this helped as much as i thought it would.”

“he’s the most stubborn man in the world, y/n.”

“oh so that explains why you two used to get along,” you tease, running a hand through jeonghan’s hair. your hand settles at the back of his head as you say, “i’m happy with you, hannie. you make me feel like the special-est girl ever. don’t look at me like you’re worried.”

“i’m not worried about you,” he says, turning so he can press soft kisses onto your wrist. “i’m worried about him.”

“whatever,” you shrug. “cheol is gonna be cheol. this will get easier with time.”

“hm,” he hums, lips still against your wrist. “speaking of time, how late is it?”

“late,” you reply. “we should go.”

“late?” he laughs. “that’s not a time baby.” 

“i don’t have a watch,” you shrug. “and someone is laying on me, so i can’t reach my phone.”

“should i buy you a watch?” jeonghan asks, that glint in his eyes whenever he’s ready to spoil you. “maybe we should get matching ones.”

“minnie and mickey mouse?” you suggest, and he laughs. 

“we’ll go shopping this weekend,” he promises before he hoists himself up, pulling you with him. “let’s go home now baby.”

-

it’s been a few days since the party, and you haven’t stopped thinking about cheol. it’s really bothering you, but you don’t want to bring it up to jeonghan again because you know it’ll just upset him. you’re thinking about what you should do as you make dinner tonight. you were able to come home early, excited to surprise jeonghan after such a stressful couple of days. he hasn’t said much about cheol, only that he’s been keeping to himself while still getting his work done. you figure this is how it should be, cheol doing his job and leaving the two of you alone, but there’s just a sliver of your heart that wants more. you’re thinking about it as jeonghan walks through the door, calling out your name before following the smell of food into the kitchen.

“is it my birthday or something?” he asks with a happy smile on his face. 

“hm, no?” you think for a second. “just wanted to do something nice for you.”

“you’re an angel,” he says as he walks over to join you, his arms wrapping around your waist and head falling to the crook of your neck. “you have perfect timing too, my day sucked.” 

“aw hannie,” you try to turn around in his arms, wanting to watch him as he explains what went wrong, but he holds your waist firmly so you won’t move. 

“keep cooking,” he whispers into your neck, kissing at the spot behind your ear that sends a chill down your spine. “let me blow off some steam before dinner. just tell me when it’s too much, got it baby?” you nod, but you hear jeonghan grumble, “use your words y/n.”

“got it,” you whisper out, and you feel jeonghan smile against your skin. he keeps kissing up and down your neck, moving your hair out of the way so he can kiss right where your neck and shoulder meet. you feel his tongue against your skin and then the sharp pang of teeth, jeonghan working on marking your neck. you let him work, trying to focus on not burning the food, but he’s making it incredibly difficult. 

“turn the heat down baby,” he advises you, noticing your lack of attention. “don’t want you to ruin dinner because you were distracted.” you do, your breath shaky when jeonghan’s hand slips from your waist to cup your pussy through your shorts. your breathes start coming in little gasps as he gives you the least amount of pressure possible. you groan frustrated, and he chuckles against your neck. “impatient baby.”

“i’m almost done cooking, hannie,” you tell him. “hurry up.”

“turn the stove off then,” jeonghan rasps out. “we’re staying right here.” his hand slips to the edge of your shorts, his fingers pushing the fabric of your shorts and panties aside to feel the arousal pooling at your core. “you don’t want me to stop, do you?”

“n-no.”

“no what?”

“no sir.”

“good girl,” he whispers, nipping at your ear as his fingers dip to your core. he loves feeling you falling apart on his fingers, you’d think you’d be used to this by now. but feeling him sink two fingers into your core has you shaking in his hold, grabbing onto his arm for leverage. you try grinding down into him, wanting more, but jeonghan is ever patient and ignores your attempts to feel more. he takes it slow, dragging his fingers in and out at an excruciating pace. it’s not enough, so your mind starts to wander to other times jeonghan has had his way with you in the kitchen, folding you over the counter, kneeling between your legs as you cook, and you jolt as your mind starts conjuring up images of cheol doing the same. your eyes fly open, jeonghan so tuned into your reactions that he chuckles as he whispers, “feel good baby?” and your heart starts to race. he doesn’t know. he can’t read your thoughts, so he doesn’t know what you were just imagining. but you feel...wrong. you feel like you’re doing something forbidden, not allowed, as you let jeonghan work you toward your high with thoughts of cheol still flashing through your mind. 

“i’m c-close hannie,” you breathe out, trying to anchor yourself in this moment. you feel him biting your neck again, leaving another hickey you’re not sure you’ll be able to cover up. 

“let me hear you then,” he says, fingers finally working faster, trying to make you come. you moan freely, feeling jeonghan’s hard cock pressing into you from behind. your eyes start to roll back as you come, letting out a soft moan, “oh, cheol-”

jeonghan stops.

all the air leaves your lungs, and you gasp as you try to cover, but jeonghan shushes you, arms tightening around your body as his lips graze your ear. “what did you just say?”

“n-nothing-”

“don’t lie to me,” he whispers. “what. did. you. say.”

“i-i said ch-cheol,” you stutter, jeonghan’s fingers still inside you, feeling the way your walls clench around him as you mention he who must not be named. “hannie, please, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to, i-”

“should i call him?” jeonghan asks, and you hate the way your body reacts to the idea. “let him hear you moaning so pretty for him while i’m playing with your pussy? or should we skip that and just invite him over here to fuck you?” he asks, hands pulling from you so he can turn you around and cage you in against the counter. he gets closer, eyes angry and a little turned on as he asks, “you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“hannie, no, i want you, need you,” you say, afraid to touch him as his hands work at his belt. he’s got his cock out in record time, lazily stroking it as he watches you.

“you want me, you need me, but you want him too, don’t you?” he asks, and you could cry at how frustrated you are right now. you let jeonghan lift you onto the counter, spreading your legs as he pulls your clothes to the side. he taps his cock over your clit, reveling in the way you whine for him. “come on baby, talk to me. told you to use your words.”

“i-i don’t want cheol,” you say shakily. “i want you, jeonghan.” that’s all he needed to hear, slamming his cock into you as you let out a choked sob. he’s relentless, fucking you so fast you’re not sure how you’re going to hold out. instantly his thumb is rubbing over your clit, wanting to make you come as fast as possible. considering how close you were, he doesn’t wait long, a scream of his name ripping through your chest as you release around him, but he doesn’t stop. proudly, he smiles as he fucks into you, watching your pussy swallow his cock as he says, “what do you think cheol would do if he was here right now?”

“jeonghan-”

“answer me,” he says, eyes finding yours and holding your gaze. you can see the way his pupils are blown out, lust taking over him, and you realize with a gasp that he’s enjoying this. he’s mad, sure, but this is turning him on. the thought has you clenching around him hard, and he smiles evilly before he goes on. “you think he’d want your mouth? or would he want your pussy?”

“b-both,” you stutter out, jerking in jeonghan’s hold as you get closer again. “he’d want both.”

“hm, greedy. just like you,” jeonghan tuts, bringing his thumb up to your lips before asking you to suck, you hold onto his wrist, steadying yourself as you suck on his thumb while he fucks you, and you can’t believe you’re about to come again. “hold on honey. wait for me.”

“jeonghan i can’t-”

“you will,” he says sternly, switching his pace so he’s thrusting into you so deep you feel like he’s going to split you open. your pussy keeps clenching down on him, making it hard to move, and when he looks up and sees you with his thumb still hanging from your mouth he groans, holding your chin as he watches you slowly unravel. he admires the way your eyes flutter first, then your jaw goes slack, whimpering as he thrusts into you to help you come. your body starts to shake and he can feel you spasming around his cock, his hips jerking as he starts coming deep inside you. he thrusts lazily until you’re both spent, your sensitive body jerking at every movement. he finally pulls out, moaning as he watches his come spill out of you. he looks up at you with an evil smirk, asking, “should i send a picture to seungcheol?”

“jeonghan, i’m sorry,” you sigh again, head falling to his shoulder. “that didn’t mean anything, it just came out.”

“but why did it come out?” he laughs nervously, stroking your hair as you latch onto him. with your arms firmly around his shoulders, you wrap your legs around his waist and he carries you into the living room. then he sits down with you in his lap, looking up at you softly as he asks. “what were you thinking about in that pretty head of yours?”

“i was thinking about you,” you start honestly. “and how you love fucking in our kitchen, for some reason-”

“i just love fucking you,” he admits as he plays with the strands of your hair falling over your shoulder. “so you were thinking about me and that made you moan cheol’s name?”

“no, i um,” you clear your throat. “i don’t know. he’s just. it’s been on my mind a lot lately, i guess. so my mind wandered. it just came out,” you say earnestly, cupping jeonghan’s face, “i’m so sorry.”

“don’t be,” he shrugs, a sad little smile on his face. your thumbs rub over his cheeks as he stares at you, and he opens his mouth to say something but stops. 

“what?” you ask, knowing there’s something else on his mind. “say something baby.”

“you’re not over him,” he says sadly, and you feel tears in your eyes as you shake your head. “you’re not, and that’s ok.”

“but hannie, i love you i don’t know why i can’t-”

“you love me?” jeonghan asks, and you stiffen. you’ve never said that to him before, and this is how your stupid brain lets it come out?

“i do,” you whisper, “i love you so much, yoon jeonghan.”

“but you love cheol too,” he says quietly, and you nod. 

“i think i still love him,” you admit. “but i don’t understand why, because i know i love you.”

“well,” jeonghan sighs, hands snaking around your waist again. “for what it’s worth, i know i love you too.”

“really?” you sniff, and he presses a soft kiss to your nose.

“i’ve known it for a while, actually,” he tells you. 

“you love me,” you smile.

“and you love me,” he nods. 

“i’m sorry,” you pout again, and he shakes his head.

“don’t be. you love me right?”

“i do,” you nod, kissing his chin as you wrap your arms around him. 

“then that’s all that matters,” jeonghan says quietly, and you sit together like that, wrapped in each others arms, minds racing. 

this isn’t how you wanted to tell him. you wanted the moment to be right, your confession of love needing to be special because jeonghan is special. he means so much to you. you haven’t felt this kind of love since..well, since cheol. jeonghan treats you like royalty and you want to treat him the same, so you’re torn at the thought of not being able to love him fully. but as you’re struggling to accept this, jeonghan has one thing running through his brain.

he needs to talk to seungcheol. now.

-

the next few days with jeonghan are insanely soft. you’re not sure if it’s because both of you let your feelings be known, or if it’s both of you trying to cover up the other feelings that were revealed a couple nights ago. either way, you’ve been in heaven. the rest of the work week flew by, both of you taking turns making each other’s favorite meals and then cuddling on the couch, not wanting to be far from each other for more than a few minutes. it’s like the early days of your relationship all over again, and you love it. 

jeonghan was serious when he said he was going to buy you a watch though, so he takes you shopping first thing saturday morning. you whine at him not wanting to sleep in, but he makes a good point that the mall is unbearably crowded after lunchtime. so you reluctantly drag yourself out of bed, making coffee while jeonghan picks out a couple outfit he insisted you wear. you smile when you see what he’s chosen, two red flannels and your favorite pair of jeans. you try to keep him at bay as you dress, but he grumbles at you as he pulls his own clothes on.

“so mean to me, the man you love,” he says in disbelief, watching as you pull on a white tank top to wear under the flannel. “nice tits.”

“focus.”

“sorry,” he smiles. “do you wanna eat before we leave or get something on the way there?”

-

you spend some time following jeonghan around this very fancy department store, helping him pick out new work clothes. he begged you to stay with him, not wanting to lose you to the purses he saw you gravitate towards when you walked in. he grabbed your hand and held on tightly, only letting go every so often to hold up a new shirt or jacket to ask for your opinion. jeonghan usually gets everything tailored, so trying things on isn’t that much of a concern for him here but he happily lets you slide your hands down his arms, slipping off the flannel so you can see what the blazers look like on him. he loves watching you step back in thought before (usually) deciding he looks great and he needs the suit immediately. really, having you here is no help to his wallet, but it boosts his confidence like hell. 

he’s about to ask you about a pair of pants when he turns and sees a flash of red moving through the racks behind you two, but he doesn’t pay it any mind. for now, he decides he’s looked at enough clothes and grabs your hand again to go find the jewelry counter. he called yesterday to place an order, and you’re mostly here to see if the watch fits. when you get to the counter you start looking in the glass to see what you might like, but jeonghan’s voice brings you to the end of the counter. he’s thanking the worker as they pass over a velvet box that jeonghan handles with care, looking up and beckoning you to come closer.

“do you like it baby?” he asks, showing you the silver watch with pearl inlays on the timepiece. you gasp and jeonghan laughs with the worker as she says, “i think she likes it!” you reach your hand out and let jeonghan secure it around your wrist, nodding proudly at the perfect fit. he looks back to the attendant and says, “i’ll go ahead and take the other one i called about.”

“sure thing,” she says before heading to the storage room behind her. she comes back with a similar box and jeonghan holds it under his arm as he closes the box your watch came in, knowing you won’t want to take it off now. they’re already paid for, so he offers his free hand to you and you carefully move your newly adorned arm to link through his. as you start walking through the store you think you see a familiar face up ahead, but it’s quickly obstructed by jeonghan’s fast pace.

“wait, did you get something?” you ask, stopping in the middle of the store. let me see yours.”

“i was serious about us matching,” he replies, handing you your box so he can open his. he shows you an almost identical piece, the only difference being a single pearl that connects the two clock hands. 

“i love you,” you whisper to him, like it’s a secret the world shouldn’t know about just yet. you cup his face and kiss him, whispering against his lips, “thank you. you’re too wonderful.”

“y/n?” a deep voice calls from behind your boyfriend. you separate from jeonghan and see cheol standing a few feet away, a look of not-so-hidden disgust on his face. “what are you doing here man?”

“same as you,” jeonghan says comfortably, draping his arm across your shoulders. “you mentioned getting some new suits and i realized it’s been a while since i got any new work clothes, so we started here and now we’re probably on our way to that fancy cooking store y/n loves so much.

“nice,” cheol nods, looking at you both awkwardly. you notice then that your heart is beating quickly in your chest, and you hope jeonghan can’t feel it. 

“hey, we’re all matching,” jeonghan points out, gesturing between the three of you and your shirts in various shades of red. “that’s cute.”

“right,” cheol nods awkwardly, regarding you both with a strange look in his eyes. you know that look, he looks like he’s trying to hide a secret. “well, um, enjoy the rest of your day.”

“bye cheol,” you say meekly, jeonghan waving as he turns you both toward the exit. you slap his side once you’re far enough away, and cheol rolls his eyes when he hears jeonghan’s unmistakable laugh. 

that was weird, he thinks to himself. yesterday jeonghan was out of character, talking to cheol for far too long in the break room, wanting to know about his weekend and what his plans were. when cheol told him he was going shopping, jeonghan didn’t mention anything about needing to go himself. he just asked where cheol planned on going, and then he’s here the same time as him the next day. that’s not a coincidence, is it?

-

after you spend too much time and too much money at the next store, you leave with bags in your hand that you immediately push onto jeonghan when you find him waiting for you outside. 

“jesus woman,” he laughs, “did you buy us a new kitchen?”

“no, just some things we needed,” you say innocently, and jeonghan sighs as he tries to balance the bags in his arms while still typing on his phone.

“what are you doing?” you ask, reaching out to help him but he swats you away.

“i’m texting cheol,” jeonghan says nonchalantly, and your heart drops to your ass.

“oh.”

“i invited him to lunch,” jeonghan says, looking back up at you again. “that ok?”

“um, i don’t know,” you reply. “should we? i mean, are we good?”

“i’m good,” jeonghan nods. “i think it would be nice. maybe we can try going back to normal.”

“o-ok,” you say, unsure of your boyfriend’s intentions. “so, where are we going?”

“we’ll meet him there,” jeonghan says, holding his arm out for you to grab onto. “come on, let’s go to the car.”

-

when you got to the car you didn’t expect jeonghan to put the bags away and immediately pull you across the center console to sit in his lap. he’s holding you down by the waist, capturing your lips in a kiss that he deepens just to moan into your mouth. you don’t hate it, but you also don’t know what’s gotten into him. you push away from him slightly, his lips chasing yours, but you put your fingers to his lips to hold him off.

“baby. talk to me. what is going on with you,” you state more than ask. 

“i wanna do something,” he says mischievously. 

“that’s obvious,” you say as you roll your eyes, and jeonghan nipping at your chin makes you swat him away and sit up fully. “what do you want to do. drive me insane?”

“yep,” he nods. “open the glovebox.”

“jeonghan-”

“what did i say?” he asks, and you stop talking, reaching awkwardly over to the glovebox to find the bullet vibrator and handcuffs still there from a few weeks ago. you hold them up, and jeonghan says, “put the cuffs away. too noticeable.”

“what do you mean?” you ask, confused. “jeonghan, what are you up to?”

“do you trust me?” he asks, and you nod. “words, honey.”

“of course i trust you,” you tell him, placing your hand on his cheek. he hums as he nuzzles into your touch, kissing your palm. he opens his own hand, and you pass him the toy. he turns it on to the lowest setting, pushing your flannel out of the way so he can trace it over your chest. you jolt in his lap when he traces over your nipples, smiling when he sees the buds poking through the thin fabric of your shirt. “hannie, we have to go to lunch-”

“to see seungcheol,” he says, eyes watching your chest erupt in goosebumps as he continues dragging the vibrator slowly over your skin. 

“yes, and it’d be rude if we invited him and then we were late,” you scold, “so whatever you want to do get to it. or, better yet, wait until after.”

“why would that be better?” jeonghan asks, looking up at you darkly. “you wanna see cheol so you have more to think about when i make you come later?”

“that’s not what i me-eant,” you struggle to say, moaning a little at the end when jeonghan presses the vibrator over your clothed cunt. he pushes it up a few levels and you let out a shaky breath as you try to keep yourself from grinding down. 

“give me a color baby.”

“green.”

“good,” he smiles, unbuttoning your pants as he keeps talking. “here’s what i want you to do. i want you to take this and keep it in your pussy while we have lunch. can you do that for me?” 

“hannie, i...” you trail off, eyes holding his gaze as you realize he’s looking at you the same way he did a few nights ago. that dark lust is still there. that signal that he might be into this more than he’s letting on. there’s a plan brewing in that pretty head of his, and you let out a shaky breath as you think.

“baby, i need a color,” he repeats. you hold his gaze a little longer before whispering, “green.”

-

jeonghan is a piece of shit. you hate his guts right now, watching you so happily as you listen to cheol describe his life in europe. you’re struggling, trying so hard to not make it obvious that you literally have a vibrator inside you right now. jeonghan is staring at you with stars in his eyes, and cheol is trying to ignore it, but he can’t stop himself.

“listen, man, did you invite me out to make me jealous or something? i’m sure y/n told you what we talked about at the party,” he says, glancing at you and considering your expression for a second. you look...off. he can’t place why, so he turns back to jeonghan. “i’m not gonna do anything, but come on. be mature about it.”

“i had no ill intentions inviting you out today,” jeonghan says. “we really wanted to catch up, didn’t we y/n?” and all you do is nod. “she’s been wanting us to get back to normal, so i thought this would be a good start.”

“this was your idea?” cheol asks you, and you open your mouth to speak, shifting uncomfortably but soon realizing that was an awful idea. the vibrator has slid up so it’s pressed right against your clit, and your eyes flutter slightly as you try to speak.

“i mean, i wanted you to-” you take a breath, “to get along since you work together. but lunch was his idea,” you explain, pointing a shaky finger at your smug boyfriend. “but i want to hear more about europe. did you go to italy at all?”

“oh my god, you’d go crazy over there,” cheol smiles at you softly. “lots of cool food, amazing coffee.”

“sounds nice,” you smile back, and watching the two of you makes something warm stir in jeonghan’s chest.

“baby, tell him about that pasta you tried making,” jeonghan teases, and you roll your eyes. 

“i thought i would try to make fresh pasta,” you start telling cheol, “but i fucked up. i started boiling it and the pasta just...dissolved?”

“it was disgusting,” jeonghan nods. “like a big eggy blob.”

“ew,” cheol says, looking down at the eggs in his noodles. “don’t ruin my appetite for me dude.”

“sorry,” jeonghan laughs, looking at you carefully. he can tell you’re close, so he decides to let you have a break, turning to cheol. “so be honest. how’s work?”

“you mean aside from our assistants having some kind of beef?” cheol laughs, and jeonghan joins him. “it’s good..” you stop listening, instead focusing on the vibrations between your legs. you press your thighs together looking for more pressure, and as the boys talk about some work drama you cover your mouth to hide a silent scream as you come. you play it off as a yawn, but cheol looks at you curiously. “y/n, you ok? are we boring you?” he laughs. if only he knew what that word meant to you and jeonghan.

“oh no, profit margins and revenue blah blah is sooo interesting,” you tease, shooting them both a glare. “no, i’m just really tired. someone didn’t let me sleep in this morning-”

“we had errands!” jeonghan whines, and cheol watches you two fondly.

“i think i might go splash some water on my face,” you tell them, looking at cheol so you don’t see the way jeonghan will react to you leaving. cheol catches himself staring, but he realizes now why you look different. it’s subtle, but he’d recognize it anywhere. you’ve got that kind of glow you only have when you’ve just come. cheol watches you leave, and then turns back to jeonghan. 

“she ok?” he asks, and jeonghan shrugs. 

“yeah, but we may not stay long if she’s not feeling well,” jeonghan covers, and cheol watches him closely, but eventually decides to leave it alone. surprisingly, he was having a good time. so he let’s himself enjoy this, returning your smile when you come back from the restroom (vibrator securely in your pocket now). “all good baby?”

“yeah,” you nod. “sorry, guess i haven’t slept enough this week.”

“you need to take better care of her,” cheol says to jeonghan, sipping his drink as he waits for him to respond.

“she’s the one that stays up late!” jeonghan whines, and you try to kick him underneath the table. “whatever. pay for your own lunch then.”

“i got you,” cheol says instead, and jeonghan feels a pang of jealousy shoot through his chest. whatever, he thinks to himself. his plan is going well. he’ll just let this play out and hope it works in his favor. 

-

cheol is still thinking about your lunch together when he goes back to work on monday. it was...nice. like really nice, being back around you and jeonghan. he almost felt comfortable with you again, but there was something about the way you acted that made him suspicious. 

he’s got a long day ahead of him, so he needs to stop thinking about you. it’s hard though, being back, so close to you yet so far. he loved you so much, still does. and he knows you do too. but jeonghan...

speak of the devil, there’s a knock at the door to cheol’s office as soon as he sits at his desk. he tries not to groan too loud before telling them to come in, and he’s a little surprised to see that it’s jeonghan. they weren’t supposed to meet until 10, why was he here already?

“you got a crush on me or something?” cheol teases as jeonghan makes himself at home and sits in one of the plush chairs in front of cheol’s desk. “we’ve been around each other a lot lately.”

“you’re a handsome man, what can i say,” jeonghan laughs, and cheol can feel his ears warming at the compliment. “no, i wanted to catch you before your first meeting. i’m afraid i have to reschedule on you.”

“aw, darn, you mean we don’t get to argue about budgets until seungkwan breaks it up?”

“i like to think of it as negotiating,” jeonghan replies, and cheol rolls his eyes. 

“you’re such a boss. i never thought you could be this professional,” cheol tells him. 

“it’s weird right?” jeonghan laughs, and they spend a few minutes reminiscing over their adventures as crazy kids loose in europe. jeonghan checks a watch that looks so brand new it seems to sparkle, and he stands with a sigh, telling cheol, “so i’ll get kwan to set up a new meeting with vernon?”

“sure,” cheol shrugs. “or whenever you have the time. you don’t need an appointment to come talk to me.”

“oh that reminds me,” jeonghan says, stopping with his hand on the door. “y/n wants to have you over for dinner, so text me when you’re free. it’s a standing invitation.”

“um, jeonghan?” cheol calls, and his friend stops with his back to cheol, smile creeping over his lips. “how is she? like, is she sick, or something? i just noticed on saturday that...”

“that what?” jeonghan asks, turning back to face cheol. “she seemed all right to me. maybe a little distracted.”

“yeah, distracted,” cheol says as he narrows his eyes at jeonghan. “you weren’t..doing anything, were you?”

“what do you mean?” jeonghan fakes innocence, cocking his head to the side. 

“never mind,” cheol brushes it off. “i’ll text you to let you know when i’m free.”

“sounds good,” jeonghan waves behind him as he leaves, smug smile on his face as his plan falls into place.

-

when you come home from work later that week and find cheol on your couch, you’re shocked. well, this has happened before, so it’s not as shocking as that first time, but if you had a nickel, right? it’s weird that it’s happening again, and you have deja vu to that first night seeing cheol again after so long. he can tell you’re surprised, so he wants to go find jeonghan in the kitchen and sucker punch him. 

“um, are you here for dinner?” you ask, and cheol nods. 

“i thought jeonghan had told you, i’m-”

“sorry baby,” jeonghan says, leaning against the wall near the kitchen, drying his hands. “we talked about this at work, and when you said you made too much of that pork thing i figured it was a good night to have him.”

“yeah, that’s fine,” you nod. “heads up would’ve been nice though, what if i said something embarrassing when i walked in?”

“y/n, we dated for four years, you can’t embarrass yourself around me,” cheol says, and you look at jeonghan to read his reaction. he just shrugs and says, “he’s right. you have no shame.”

“i meant what if i said something embarrassing for you,” you correct him, gliding toward the kitchen to kiss jeonghan on the cheeks. “what if i came in here calling you snookums, then all the guys at the office would know you’re a big softie.”

“snookums?” cheol laughs from the couch, and you turn to him with an accusing finger.

“watch it, or i’ll tell jeonghan what your nickname was.”

“what was it?” he asks anyway, an evil smile on his face. 

“sweetcheeks,” you and cheol say together, and jeonghan laughs.

“because he’s got cute cheeks?” he questions, and you shake your head.

“butt cheeks,” you clarify. “he’s got a nice ass.”

“whoa,” cheol chimes in, and you ignore him. 

“she never talks about my butt like that,” jeonghan says, and cheol laughs nervously as you move past jeonghan into the kitchen. you’re checking the pork you left in the slow cooker this morning when you feel a presence behind you, and assuming it’s jeonghan you say, “a text would’ve been nice.”

“hey, i told him i shouldn’t just show up like this,” cheol’s voice replies instead, and you jump at the unexpected sound. “shit, sorry.”

“no, it’s ok,” you laugh it off, turning to find him awkwardly standing behind you. “it’s really fine that you’re here, cheollie. promise. i wasn’t expecting it, but hannie was right, we’ve got plenty of food.”

“are you making that thing we tried in vegas?” cheol asks hopefully, and he does a little happy dance when you nod. a couple years back, a pair of your friends from high school got married in vegas and invited everyone they knew. you and cheol went for the ‘ceremony’ but stayed a couple days longer for your first real trip together. there was one restaurant you visited just about every day so you could go back and try everything on the menu before you left. you both agreed that this pork was the best thing you’ve ever had, so when you found the recipe online the other day you knew you had to try it. “do you need help?”

“um, could you make the sauce for me?” you ask, and he nods before walking to the sink. “bowls are above the microwave, utensils by the sink.”

“you y/n-fied jeonghan’s kitchen?” cheol teases. “isn’t there some kind of system you always used when you put dishes away? there’s a reason everything is where it is.”

“well i knew i would be cooking in here the most so i kinda made it mine,” you say, and a whine from the doorway makes you turn. you see jeonghan pouting and you roll your eyes, turning back to the meat as you say, “tell me i’m wrong and i’ll sucker punch you.”

“baby, we have a guest, be nice,” jeonghan mumbles as he opens the fridge, asking you both if you want something to drink. he falls into working alongside cheol, chopping veggies to go with the pork and making sure the lettuce is clean for the wraps. 

“y/n, taste this,” cheol says, and you turn to him as he offers a spoon. he makes an airplane noise as he brings it to your lips, and you close your mouth to glare at him. he accidentally bumps the spoon into your chin, spilling a little on you. 

“you’re a child,” you grumble, tongue licking at the sauce on your lips. “but damn. that’s good.”

“right?” cheol smiles, turning to jeonghan to do the same, sans plane noises this time. you watch fondly as jeonghan tastes, humming cutely to signify his approval. everything is done for the most part, you just need to let the pork brown in the oven for a minute so you all take your drinks and head back to the living room, obliviously sitting down on the couch in a line, jeonghan, you, cheol. jeonghan immediately places his hand on your thigh, and you see cheol’s hand twitch to do the same. he catches himself though, looking up to see if you caught him just to find your eyes staring back. you’re about to say something, or you want to, at least, but jeonghan asking for the tv remote interrupts. you point behind cheol and he finds the remote, passing it across you to jeonghan. 

you watch jeonghan pick something to watch, but it mostly ends up as background noise when he turns excitedly to cheol to ask about some show they both used to be obsessed with. you listen at first, but you lay your head down on jeonghan’s shoulder and close your eyes for a moment. jeonghan doesn’t miss the way cheol admires you like this, and he almost mentions his plan now. but it’s not the right time. instead, he lets you rest, only shaking you awake when he hears the timer in the kitchen going off. he and cheol watch you leave, and when jeonghan notices cheol’s eyes following your ass he smiles. 

“do you need help baby?” he calls, and cheol is up and in the kitchen before you can reply. he sees you struggling to reach the nice plates at the top of the cabinet, so he comes behind you with a hand at the small of your back to reach above you with ease. you look back at him, eyes glancing down at his lips so briefly, but he’s tuned into your every movement. he catches it, smirking like hell as he goes to set the table. jeonghan comes into the kitchen next with your discarded drinks, and as you start taking the food he says he’ll get the utensils. 

“um, where do you want me to sit?” cheol asks when you enter the dining room, and you look at the table and back at him, shrugging. 

“wherever,” you reply. “we barely eat in here, so we don’t have assigned seats.”

“can i, um,” he clears his throat, “can i sit next to you?”

“sure,” you nod with a shy smile, pointing to the spot closest to you. “i’ll probably sit there.”

“so you do have assigned seats,” cheol squints at you, and you giggle as jeonghan finally comes back in, drinks and utensils balanced dangerously in his hands. cheol rushes to help and you say you’ll grab the rest of the food, leaving the two men alone. 

“where are you sitting?” jeonghan asks, watching where cheol points so he can place the drinks accordingly. “don’t try to lay a move on my girlfriend.”

“i would never,” cheol says, looking at jeonghan with a slight challenge in his eyes. “same as you?”

“right,” jeonghan nods, and you come back in to some tension. you awkwardly walk past them, the smell of the pork pulling their attention like cartoon characters smelling a pie. they start complimenting you without even trying the food, cheol pulling your chair out for you politely as you sit down. he helps you show jeonghan how to build the perfect wrap, and when you’re done demonstrating you hold the one in your hand up to your boyfriend. he leans forward, looking between you both as he takes a bite, moaning openly at how good it is. “fuck, that’s delicious.”

“damn,” cheol hums, cheeks full of food as he looks at you, “you’re unreal. this tastes exactly like it did at the restaurant.”

“i think she’s a witch,” jeonghan jokes, and you kick him under the table. 

“behave, you two,” cheol warns, a joking lilt in his voice, but you and jeonghan listen obediently, everyone falling silent as you start piling your plates and feasting on the delicious food. there’s really no talking, which is fine, but when the meal is over (plates cleared) the boys bicker back and forth over who’s going to do the dishes. 

“cheol’s a guest, he shouldn’t have to do your chores,” you weigh in, and cheol drapes his hand over the back of your chair as he looks at jeonghan smugly.

“baby,” jeonghan whines and you shake your head. “you’re mean.”

“you’re meaner,” you reply, standing and stacking plates so it’s easier for jeonghan to take into the kitchen.

“how am i mean?!” he cries, and you hold his gaze, trying to remind him of the last time you ate with cheol. a smile slowly breaks out over his face, and cheol coughs delicately behind you. 

“should i leave you two alone?” he jokes, a hint of seriousness in it though. he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome, but you and jeonghan insist he stay, so he relaxes. he grabs two more drinks for you and himself from the kitchen, playfully sticking his tongue out at jeonghan stuck at the sink. 

he comes back into the living room to you sprawled on the couch, so he leaves your drink on the coffee table before sitting in the armchair. you look up at him cutely and pout, saying, “you’re so far away.”

“i’m right here baby,” he lets slip, and when your eyes bulge slightly he backtracks. “shit, sorry, i didn’t um, sorry.”

“it’s ok,” you say, holding his gaze. “so. tell me more about europe.”

“what else do you need to know?” cheol chuckles. “i feel like i’ve droned on about it.”

“you haven’t said..everything, i’m sure,” you say, and cheol gets it. you want to know if he was with anybody else, his ego boosted at your subtle jealousy.

“i haven’t?” he asks, and you know he’s teasing. “i’m not quite sure what you mean, y/n.”

“um,” you sit up before continuing, “any uh, any lucky ladies over there heartbroken that you’re back home?”

“probably a few,” he nods, and you scoff. “i don’t care about them though.”

“oh,” you say meekly, still holding his gaze. 

“never did, if i’m honest,” he goes on. “my heart wasn’t in it.”

“sad,” you point out and he nods. 

“i’m glad to be back though,” he says with finality. you’re about to respond but jeonghan comes back in and plops down on top of you, pushing your body down into the cushions.

“hannie, we were talking,” you mumble into his chest, not able to move with his lanky body draped over you like this. 

“just talking, huh?” he whispers just low enough for you to hear it. “i have something i wanna talk about.”

“what?”

“cheol,” jeonghan calls as he sits up, and you follow, trying to fix your hair as you listen. cheol quirks an eyebrow at you both, and jeonghan says, “you’re still in love with y/n, right?”

“what?” he asks, caught off guard. “i mean, i, i don’t know what you want to hear, man.”

“the truth,” jeonghan admits, and cheol stares for a moment before he says quietly, “i do. i love her.”

“good,” jeonghan smiles, turning to you next. “y/n? you love cheol, right?” 

“hannie,” you whisper, and he shakes his head. 

“to cheol, baby, tell him,” he whispers back, and you look at cheol as you say, “i think i still love him. yeah.”

“perfect,” jeonghan smiles, looking between you both. “and you love me?” he asks you, to which you agree. he turns to cheol and asks the same, and cheol hesitantly nods. “so we’re all on the same page.”

“no, i don’t think we are,” cheol says, and you nod, pulling his hand to your lap as you ask, “hannie, what are you doing?”

“i want to see you two kiss,” jeonghan says, eyes searing into yours. you gasp, eyes flicking over to cheol, and you catch his hands twitching on the armrests. you look back to jeonghan, who’s waiting expectantly. “what do you think?”

“i think you’re crazy,” you whisper, and his expression falls only slightly. 

“it’s just one kiss baby,” jeonghan says with a shrug. “i won’t mind. i’m sure cheol won’t mind. i know you want to,” he says, and you don’t respond. “it’s just one kiss, you can do it for me,” he says again, and your heart picks up speed when cheol pipes up.

“yeah, y/n, it’s just one kiss,” he smirks, and you glare at him.

“you stay out of this,” you point, and he puts his hands up innocently. you look back at your madman of a boyfriend and see the way he’s looking at you, and it’s weird. you know that look. you know he wants this. he’s...hopeful? and you think saying no would hurt his feelings. you look back at cheol, who’s watching you in a similar way, and you breathe out, “fine. one kiss.”

“get to it then,” jeonghan says, patting your thigh as you look between the two men again. your skin feels like it’s on fire as you stand, walking over to cheol knowing they’re both studying your every move. you stop in front of him, suddenly self conscious. you don’t know what to do, so when jeonghan says softly, “sit in his lap baby,” you do it, hands carefully placed on cheol’s shoulders as you straddle his lap, hovering over him. you hear shifting behind you, guessing that jeonghan is moving so he can see better, and then you flick your eyes up to cheol. his pupils are the size of saucers, and you can’t help but let out a little whimper as his hands fall to your hips. 

“get comfortable,” he says, “can’t kiss you so stiff like this.”

you let him push you down into his lap, one hand staying on your hip as the other comes up to cup your chin. he lifts it softly, bringing your lips to his in a delicate kiss. your skin erupts in goosebumps, memories flashing back at hyper speed. the feeling of cheol’s lips on yours is intoxicating, and you instantly want more. your lips chase his, eyes still closed as he pulls you away, and the sound of the two men chuckling pulls you back to the moment. 

“how was it honey?” jeonghan asks behind you, and watching cheol you respond, “it was good.”

“just good?” cheol pouts, and you slap his shoulder, getting up before you lose your courage. 

“i’m, uh, i need to go shower,” you say quickly, avoiding their eyes. “thanks for coming over cheollie. i mean. whatever. thanks for coming.”

you’re gone so fast it’s like there’s a gust of wind in your wake, and cheol looks at his best friend before asking, “what the fuck man?”

“i have a proposition for you,” jeonghan begins, “only if you’re up for it...”

-

finding cheol in your apartment is becoming more common than you’d like. well, it’s not that his presence is unwanted. it’s just that jeonghan likes to stay unpredictable, so you never know when you’ll come home and find seungcheol on your couch, in your kitchen, in your bathroom? you presume jeonghan is up to something, you just don’t know what yet. he hasn’t asked you to kiss cheol again, though. that was...interesting. 

you’ve been trying so hard to forget cheol. you were with jeonghan and you knew you loved him, so you wanted to be there for him in every sense. you tried your best to forget about how cheol made you feel, about how you felt for him, but as soon as your skin touched, as soon as your lips grazed his, everything came flooding back. for a good period of your life you thought cheol would someday be your husband. now, after several whirlwind months with jeonghan, you’re conflicted. you love them both, and you don’t know what to do about it. 

jeonghan does. 

he knows exactly what he’s doing, inviting cheol over so you never have a chance to talk yourself out of seeing him. he knows exactly what he’s doing when he undresses you in the hall before you shower together, leaving your panties on the ground purposefully for cheol to see them later. he knows what he’s doing when he takes the armchair in the living room, leaving you and cheol to sit so awkwardly far from each other on the couch. jeonghan watches in amusement the way your eyes always flick back and forth to each other, never seeming to look when the other is staring. he knows you both want something. he just needs to sit you down and tell you that he wants something too. 

one particular night, you had a feeling you’d find cheol when you came home. you expected it at this point, surprised now when jeonghan would tell you it was just him. today your inkling was correct, and you open the door to jeonghan at the couch, casework laid out on the coffee table while he yelled to cheol in the kitchen. you walk over to him first and press a kiss to his cheek, glancing at the work and piecing together that it was budget stuff he and cheol are constantly bickering over. you get up to say hi to the other man, almost colliding with him as he leaves the kitchen, two drinks in hand. you press your hands to his chest to stop him from spilling everything all over you, and you absentmindedly rub over his pecs as you say hi. he smirks down at you, chest warming at your touch. you catch yourself wanting to stand on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek much like you did to your boyfriend, but that’s not appropriate. you excuse yourself so you can go change, leaving the boys to do their work for a while longer. they get through a couple pages before cheol turns to jeonghan expectantly. 

“what?” he asks, barely looking at his friend. “pouting at me won’t get you the money for that advertiser you want.”

“when are you gonna tell her?” cheol asks instead, and jeonghan stills. he told cheol about his plan the night of the kiss, and not so shockingly he was on board. they laid out some ground rules, negotiating much like they are now, but cheol was all for it. jeonghan just had to mention it to you, and he was sure it wouldn’t take much convincing.

“we can talk to her tonight if you want,” jeonghan shrugs, focused on the papers in front of him. 

“how are you so casual about this man?” cheol scoffs as he leans back in his chair. then in a quieter voice he says, “you ask me to fuck your girlfriend and you keep talking about it like it’s a business deal.”

“we have an agreement,” jeonghan points out. “so it’s kind of like a business deal.” 

“but she’s your girlfriend-”

“and she’s your ex,” he cuts cheol off, finally meeting his judgmental gaze. “we both know her really well. we both know she’ll be into it. the agreement was just...a formality.”

“a formality?” 

“so no one gets any funny ideas,” jeonghan says sternly, eyes flicking to the hallway when he hears the bedroom door open. soon you’re walking into the living room, a pair of his boxers and an old sweatshirt replacing your work clothes. jeonghan doesn’t miss the way cheol checks you out as you sit down, throwing your legs over jeonghan’s lap even if he was trying to work. 

“i can’t believe you still have that,” cheol smiles, speaking to you as jeonghan starts clearing the coffee table. cheol points at your sweatshirt and says, “you stole that from me two years ago, remember?”

“i didn’t steal it, you left it at my apartment!” you argue, and he shakes his head.

“no, i left it at your apartment once and then you wore it to my place like a week later. i took it off of you and hid it so you wouldn’t take it back,” he says, and you can feel yourself blush as jeonghan looks in your direction. “but then when i was packing that apartment up, hm, suddenly that shirt was missing again. guess i finally know where it ended up.”

“oops?” you offer, and cheol laughs. 

“i’m glad you kept it,” he says shyly, eyes darting over to jeonghan ever so briefly. he’s holding onto your thighs, rubbing them softly as he watches you with a strange look in his eyes. 

“sorry baby, i can go change,” you start to say, sitting up so you can get off the couch, but jeonghan presses a careful hand into your stomach to keep you in place. 

“no, keep it on,” he says. “i don’t mind.”

“o-ok,” you stammer out, stomach doing flips at the heat coming off of your boyfriend. he keeps watching you, and after what feels like forever he eventually speaks.

“baby, i have something to ask you.”

“um, should we go to the bedroom then?” you ask, and he shakes his head. 

“later,” he tells you, hand leaving your stomach to grab your own, lacing your fingers with his. “how do you feel about me and cheol?”

“hannie, we’ve talked about this, i care about you both a lot but i love you,” you emphasize with a squeeze of his hand in yours. he smiles softly as he brings your knuckles to his lips, kissing each one as he speaks. 

“not what i meant, but that’s good to hear,” he says lowly. if cheol didn’t already know what he was going to ask he’d be straining to hear, but he’s been imagining this moment for weeks. he could practically speak with jeonghan because he’s so sure of what he’ll say next. “no, baby, i wanted to know if you’d be ok with fucking me and cheol. or letting us fuck you. it’s your choice, really.”

“what?” you breathe out, looking at both men in disbelief. as shocked as you are right now, you can’t deny the way your stomach just flipped. 

“we can have sex and he can watch, you two can have sex and i’ll watch, it’s whatever you wanna do,” jeonghan continues, and his eyes darken when he feels your legs shift in his lap. “come on baby, use your words. we know you want this.”

“i-i don’t know,” you whisper, looking to cheol who’s staring back at you like he wants to devour you. it sends a familiar shiver down your spine as you look back to jeonghan, his hand coming up to brush your hair back behind your ear.

“yes you do, pretty girl,” he encourages. “do you want to?” you nod. “words baby.” 

“yes, i want to,” you say quietly, and cheol feels his dick twitch already. 

“what do you want?” he asks, and he watches proudly as you and jeonghan turn to stare at him. you take a shaky breath as you decide.

“i want you to fuck me cheollie,” you answer, looking at jeonghan as you say, “then i want you hannie.”

“let’s go to our room then baby,” jeonghan says before he pulls you in for a kiss, pulling you up with him as he stands. your lips stay latched onto his as you walk, until you feel a pair of strong hands pulling you by the waist. cheol’s chest collides with your back, kissing from the spot behind your ear all the way down your neck. he’s making little marks, but he’s doing it so quickly you wonder if jeonghan told him not to leave any. when he sucks on the part that always had you shivering, jeonghan takes your open mouth as an opportunity to dive back in, his tongue gliding past your lips as cheol pulls you onto the bed with him. jeonghan keeps kissing you as he drapes his body over yours, cheol brushing more of your hair out of the way so he can kiss along your jaw.

“you’re gonna have to let go of her man,” cheol mumbles, sounding only a little bit pouty. jeonghan pulls away from you with a pop, your lips still pursed as he helps turn you around. you feel jeonghan’s hand at the back of your neck as he pushes your face toward cheol’s your lips meeting his in a tentative kiss. you feel sparks ignite across your chest. despite all the forgetting, despite how you feel for jeonghan, you still missed cheol deeply. he missed you, and he can’t see himself letting you go anytime soon. his hands are holding onto your hips for dear life, which makes what jeonghan’s trying to do a little more difficult. he pushes cheol’s hands up so they settle at your sides, holding onto the soft skin of your stomach. meanwhile jeonghan is pulling his boxers down your legs, hissing when he sees you weren’t wearing any panties.

“damn baby, it’s like you knew what we were planning,” jeonghan smirks, tracing his thumb over your swollen pussy lips. you jerk in cheol’s hold, and he takes this as a chance to separate from your lips, peeking over you at jeonghan to ask, “she not wearing any panties?”

“nope,” jeonghan replies, still watching the way your arousal drips out of you, pulling your lips apart as you try to hold back little moans. 

“looks like somebody’s still a little slut for me huh?” cheol asks, whispering into your ear. if jeonghan weren’t watching you react to it right in front of his eyes, he would clock cheol for calling you such a thing. but with a shudder of his own he realizes you like it, your entrance clenching around nothing as cheol continues whispering foul things into your ears. “bet you’ve been thinking about this for weeks. months, maybe? how often did you think about me fucking you?”

“answer him,” jeonghan chimes in, and he hears you let out a shaky breathe before you respond. as soon as you start to speak, jeonghan licks a stripe from your entrance to your clit, struggling to reach your bundle of nerves at this angle. he pulls you up by the ass so you’re straddling cheol with your knees tucked up enough to arch your back, pussy on full display for your boyfriend. “sorry baby, i didn’t hear that.”

“just that one t-time,” you reply, jeonghan’s hands tracing around your pussy but never touching where you need him most. 

“tell me the truth, baby.”

“a c-couple times,” you admit. “wh-when we were in the kitchen. when, um, when we were in the shower a few days ago. and....today. when i was coming home from work.” jeonghan is quiet, the room eerily still, but then you hear and feel jeonghan spit directly onto your pussy, spreading his saliva around to mix with your arousal.

“what were you thinking about?” jeonghan asks, his fingers massaging your pussy without touching your clit. “tell cheol.”

“today,” he adds. “what were you thinking about today?”

“i was-” you gasp when jeonghan’s fingers trace over your clit, “god, i was thinking about sucking your dick.”

“really?” cheol asks. “always so cock hungry. she like that with you, jeonghan?”

“all the time.”

“you like making your men feel good?” cheol asks as he strokes your hair, and you nod. with his hand still on your head, he softly starts pushing you down, saying, “well then show me what i’ve been missing, love.”

you feel jeonghan back away from you, letting you shift down the mattress until you’re at eye level with the bulge in cheol’s dress pants. you settle on your stomach, fingers tracing over the outline you know so well. as you tease cheol you feel jeonghan between your legs, kneeling behind you so he can grab your waist and hold you in place while he eats you out. 

you gasp when you feel jeonghan’s tongue at your core, slowly licking up every drop you let out as you undress cheol. you remember how big he is, taking a small gulp when his cock springs to life after you pull his boxers down. you stroke it a few times but you know he doesn’t like to wait, so you lean forward to suck his tip past your lips. the way he groans makes you clench, and jeonghan continues licking, dipping his tongue to your entrance to let you suck him in as he eats you like a man starved. 

“don’t tease me baby,” cheol growls, his hand tangled in your hair as he starts pushing you further down his cock. jeonghan rubs his thumb over your clit and you gag around cheol, so he pulls you away for a second to breathe. “fucking missed this.”

“don’t get used to it,” jeonghan says into your pussy.

“no promises,” cheol replies, sighing as you go back to swallowing him slowly. the foul sounds coming from your throat are no match for the way jeonghan is devouring you. he brings two fingers up and hisses as he watches your pussy take them in, and he moves so he can suck on your clit while he finger fucks you. you keep bobbing on cheol’s cock, whines coming from deep within your chest. cheol takes over for a minute, his hands in your hair guiding you, and he curses as he watches saliva spill past your lips. when jeonghan hits that spot inside you cheol watches in awe as your eyes roll back, moaning over his cock and sending shockwaves through his body. he’s trying his best not to fuck your throat, but he wants so badly to let go. to have his way with you. it’s like jeonghan reads his mind, because he pulls back just long enough to say, “don’t hold back, cheol. let her have it. fuck her like you used to.”

he looks down at you, fucked out gaze and a polite nod confirming you want that too. cheol’s grip tightens, bracing himself before he starts fucking into your mouth recklessly. he’s close, but he won’t come until you do. he just hopes jeonghan is feeling generous. 

and he is. jeonghan is always happy to make you come. unlike cheol, he never wants you to hold back. jeonghan always wants you to come, but once you start he may not let you stop. you can feel yourself getting closer, jeonghan’s lips sucking your clit alternating with delicate touches of his tongue all while his fingers keep a steady pace at your core. you make the mistake of looking up at cheol, seeing the way he’s staring at you, and the overwhelming feeling of his eyes on you and jeonghan’s touch sends you over the edge. you start to come, jeonghan coaxing you through it, and as your throat constricts around cheol while you moan, his dick twitches once, twice, and then he’s coming down your throat. jeonghan pulls you off of him while he’s still coming, the last few spurts falling over your lips and chin. cheol watches in shock (and a little arousal?) as jeonghan pulls you to his lips, licking up the bit of come you couldn’t swallow. he kisses you, obviously wanting you to taste yourself on his tongue. cheol can’t believe he’s getting hard again, but when jeonghan drops you back down to his lap you can’t help but laugh.

“i’m not the only needy one, huh?” you tease, flicking at his red tip. 

“don’t get cocky baby,” cheol smiles. “we’re just getting started.”

“what do you want to do next?” you ask as you swipe your hand over your chin. you look between them both and jeonghan nods to cheol.

“ask him,” jeonghan replies. you turn to see cheol with an evil smile, and he asks, “you still use the color system?” you and jeonghan nod, but cheol shakes his head. “need you both to say yes.”

“we do,” you say with jeonghan. cheol keeps watching you both, an idea brewing behind those beautiful brown eyes of his.

“have you ever tied her up before?” he asks jeonghan, but his eyes stay on you.

“please,” jeonghan rolls his eyes. “we did that before she was even my girlfriend.”

“where do you keep them?” cheol asks, this time expecting you to answer. 

“um, box under the bed,” you reply, and you watch him slide off the mattress to kneel on the floor. he looks for a moment, mumbling about there being multiple boxes down here. “it’s the black one.” he’s quiet for a moment, so you ask, “did you find it?” his head pops up, silk ties in one hand and something else in his other. 

“what is this?” he asks jeonghan, and that’s when you see he’s holding a dildo. “your dick doesn’t work or something?”

“that’s not for him,” you answer instead, and cheol looks at you in shock. he looks back at the dildo, then to jeonghan who shrugs, a cute blush on his cheeks. “put it back, unless you want me to show you what we do with it.”

cheol scrambles to return it to its box, crawling back on the bed so he can reach for your shirt. “take this off, baby.” you start to do as he says, and he turns to jeonghan, same fiery look in his eyes as he says, “you too.”

“what?” jeongan sputters, and cheol holds firm. 

“get undressed, i’m tying you up too,” he explains, and jeonghan looks at you for support. 

“what are you doing cheollie?” you ask, a hand reaching out to cup his cheek. he leans into the touch, kissing your palm before he replies. 

“this is your punishment,” he says, looking to jeonghan who’s only wearing his boxers now. “both of you.”

“why?” you ask, checking on jeonghan yourself. he looks fine with this, but the way he’s staying quiet has you worried.

“you both left me,” cheol says, his eyebrows furrowed as he unties the silk. he looks up at you, then jeonghan, and asks, “is this ok? what color?”

“green,” you and jeonghan reply, and you look at your boyfriend again. he smiles at you, blowing a kiss, and cheol tells you both to lay down. he sits between you, and starting with you he leans over your body to take your right wrist and tie it to the headboard. he moves to jeonghan next, and you watch closely at the way jeonghan’s eyes keep flitting down to cheol’s lips. he ties jeonghan’s left wrist to the headboard, leaving each of you a free hand still on the bed. cheol uses what’s left of the silk to tie your left wrist to jeonghan’s right, and he smiles when you instantly grip jeonghan’s hand in yours. 

“i’m gonna fuck her, is that ok?” cheol asks, dangerously close to jeonghan’s face. he nods, whispering his approval. cheol looks to you and you nod, trying to reach out for him but only getting so far. cheol chuckles darkly as he undresses fully, your breath catching in your throat at getting to see him bare like this again. you’re staring but you don’t care, drinking in the way cheol’s muscles ripple with every movement. you watch as he grips his cock, bringing it to your clit and tapping it over the sensitive bud a few times. you yelp when he slides his cock through your folds, the tip catching on the hood of your pussy. you want him to do more, but he just watches you squirming beneath him in amusement. “baby?”

“hm?” you reply. 

“can you do something for me?” 

“anything,” you breath out, squeezing your eyes shut as you feel him rubbing his tip against your clit again. “anything, cheollie. just fuck me, please.”

“needy baby,” he tsks, sitting back as he speaks. “i need you to make hannie feel good for me while i fuck you, can you do that?” 

“but i’m tied up-”

“you can still move your hand, can’t you?” he asks, gesturing to your hand on the mattress that’s squeezing onto jeonghan’s for dear life. you shake his hand off and reach over to his lap, smiling when hannie let you trace his cock through his boxers. his hand covers yours, guiding your movements, and cheol mumbles, “yeah, just like that baby.” 

“need help, cheollie,” you whimper, cutting through jeonghan’s whines and cheol’s intense focus on his friend’s cock. he looks at you concerned, and you tell him, “i need help getting his boxers off.”

“you can do it on your own,” cheol encourages, and he watches you struggle to pull the waistband of hannie’s boxers down enough for his cock to be free. you look at cheol who reaches for your hand to kiss it softly. saying, “see? you can do anything, pretty girl.”

“say something nice to hannie too,” you pout, and both boys feel their stomachs flip. cheol looks at jeonghan, from his eyes down to his lips and then down to his cock. when he looks back up at his best friend he says, “hannie has a really pretty cock.”

“he does,” you agree, using your mobile hand to reach up and stroke his cheek. his own hand gets in the way and you giggle, but jeonghan is a blushing mess. you don’t get to see him like this often, but when you do, you eat it up. 

“keep looking at him like that baby,” cheol says, shifting at the end of the bed. “gonna fuck you now. want him to watch you come undone on my cock.”

“he knows what it looks like,” you whisper, and jeonghan smiles at you. you lean forward to kiss him, pulling back with a gasp when cheol thrusts his cock deep inside you. jeonghan can’t help but moan with you as cheol fucks you, your pussy remembering every inch and every curve. he finds a rhythm quickly, holding you down even though there’s no where for you to go. he tears his eyes away from your pussy swallowing his cock to see you disobeying him, not doing anything to please jeonghan. he reaches for your hand and wraps it around hannie’s cock for you, once again your boyfriend covering your hand with his to help you. he curses under his breath as you jerk him off, and you whine at the feeling of cheol fucking your pussy like he’s never fucked you before. 

you can tell you’re dripping, and you feel some of jeonghan’s precum spilling over your hand. you bring it to your mouth to lick clean, jeonghan moaning so pornographically it makes cheol’s dick twitch inside you. you go back to stroking jeonghan off, focused on making him feel good so you can ignore the way you wanna cry because of cheol’s cock. he’s not having that, knowing you’re holding back. he knows your body better than anyone. better than jeonghan, even. he lifts your legs above his shoulders, your thighs squeezed together as he fucks you deeper, and his next thrust rips a scream from deep within your chest. he keeps fucking you, watching as your pace on jeonghan’s cock shows how badly you’re falling apart. if jeonghan weren’t helping you, cheol is sure you would’ve stopped by now. you’re letting them both use you however they want, and cheol can’t help it, he comes again, this time painting your walls with his come. 

he keeps fucking you, but he gets a new idea. he starts untying your arm from the headboard, stilling inside you but hissing as he feels you clenching on his cock. he lets you catch your breath before he pulls out, admiring the way his come leaks from your pussy. he grabs you by the hips to push you over to jeonghan, sitting you up over his cock. jeonghan moans when he feels some of cheol’s come drip onto his cock, and cheol whispers in your ear, “fuck him for me, baby. show me how good he makes you feel.” 

cheol and jeonghan both watch in awe as you sink down on hannie’s cock. once you’re settled on his lap, cock fully sheathed inside you, you let out a choked moan and cheol feels himself get hard again. he always wanted to see you fuck someone else. you’d talked about it before, but it never happened. he can’t believe he’s watching it now, his best girl and his best friend, and he can see the love in your eyes as you bounce on jeonghan’s cock. you know what drives him crazy, both of you moaning softly as you ride him. you sit for a moment, resting your legs, but cheol slaps your ass and tells you to keep going. you listen, fucking jeonghan like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. his hand reaches up to tweak at your nipples, your hand tied to his trying to push him away. 

“what’s wrong, honey?” he asks. “too much?” and you nod. “too bad. if it’s too much then you need to come.”

“want you to come with me hannie,” you tell him, and he shakes his head. 

“you know the rules honey. you come first. now if you want to come, come.”

another scream rips from your throat, a few tears falling past your eyes as you ride through your high on jeonghan’s cock. he waits until you’re still on top of him before he starts fucking up into you, the aftershocks of your orgasm jolting you with every thrust. cheol watches as you come again, this time triggering jeonghan’s release. cheol lays down so he can watch your pussy flutter around jeonghan’s cock, both men staring mesmerized at their come dripping out of you. without saying anything they both reach down, swiping fingers through the mess between your legs. you open your mouth, waiting for them to shove their fingers in, moaning at the taste of both of them mixed together. you hiccup when they finally pull back, and cheol helps you carefully lift yourself off of jeonghan. he’s about to say he’ll be right back with a wash cloth, but as soon as you hit the pillow you start drifting off to sleep. cheol looks at jeonghan who shrugs, asking quietly, “can you untie me now bro?”

they’re quiet as cheol undoes the silk, and after jeonghan stretches his sore limbs he shakes you carefully. they both chuckle at the way you wake up, fond smiles staring back at you as you mumble, “what? i’ll kill you.”

“we need to get you cleaned up, honey,” jeonghan whispers before kissing your cheek. he looks to cheol as he says, “will you keep her awake while i start a bath?”

“of course,” cheol nods, watching jeonghan walk to the en suite bathroom. he looks back at you, staring sleepily up at him, and cheol reaches out to stroke your hair. “hey baby.”

“hi cheollie.”

“how you feeling?” 

“good,” you hum, watching as cheol moves to lay down next to you. “i missed you.”

“i missed you too,” cheol replies, still playing with your hair. he brushes the sweaty bit away from your forehead, cupping your face after and just admiring you being so close to him again. he never thought he’d get this chance again, and he wants to thank jeonghan for being a freak and making this happen. he also needs to figure out how to make sure nights like this can happen again. now that cheol’s got you, he’s not letting go. he notices it’s been a few minutes, just you and cheol staring at each other, and then jeonghan’s voice pulls cheol back to reality.

“baby?” jeonghan calls, and cheol gets up to help pull you off the bed. you stumble into his chest, wrapping your hands around his waist and waddle walking with him to the bathroom. jeonghan laughs loudly when he sees you two, heart full at the soft smiles you’re sharing and the shy tint on cheol’s cheeks. jeonghan gestures for you, and cheol helps you walk on your shaky legs over to the bathtub. they help you step in, and once you’ve sat down you look to them sadly.

“what’s wrong?” cheol asks, and your pout deepens. 

“neither of you are getting in with me?” 

“baby, i don’t think the three of us will fit,” jeonghan chuckles, reaching out to stroke your hair just like cheol was a few moments ago. jeonghan carefully traces your features with his thumb as he whispers sweet nothings to you, and cheol moves toward the door. he knows you just had a threesome, but this feels like something he shouldn’t be watching.

“where are you going?” your voice stops him, one foot back in the bedroom. 

“um, i was gonna wash up in the guest room,” cheol says. “jeonghan said i could stay there tonight.”

“our bed is big enough for all three of us,” you say as you lay your head on the edge of the bathtub. you yawn as you keep talking, “you can just sleep with us. i mean, technically you already did.”

“um, i don’t want to overstep-” cheol tries to say, but jeonghan cuts him off.

“stay,” he whispers, something in his eyes that cheol can’t read. “she’s right. it’ll be cozy, but there’s plenty of room.”

“i can sleep in the middle so you won’t get cooties from each other,” you chime in, and cheol breathes a sigh of relief. 

“ok, if that’s fine,” he nods. “i’m still gonna shower in the other bathroom. you two do whatever you want in here.” 

“you heard the man,” he hears you say as he picks his clothes up from the bedroom floor. 

“you’ve had enough tonight honey,” jeonghan tells you, and cheol laughs as he hears you dramatically whine, “hannie!!”

once cheol takes a shower, he pulls on the clothes he brought to sleep in and suddenly feels too self aware. he’s in someone else’s home. he’s in your home, your’s and jeonghan’s. he shouldn’t have a space here. he shouldn’t feel as comfortable as he does. he definitely shouldn’t be sharing a bed with you two tonight, but as if jeonghan knew, he’s standing at the door, calling softly, “come on cheol, y/n keeps whining that you’re not in bed yet.”

“she gets needy when she’s tired,” cheol points out, and jeonghan nods enthusiastically. 

“i know,” he agrees. “but it’s kinda sweet, isn’t it?”

“jeonghan?” cheol says quietly, and his friend steps into the room to hear him better. “thank you. for trusting me. with her. with this.”

“sure,” he nods, visibly nervous, but not for the reasons cheol assumes. “i mean, you’re the expert here, really. i just. i’m glad you were up for it. she really liked it. i..really liked it.”

cheol is about to say something else when his phone ringing stops him. he chuckles and holds it up for jeonghan to see, who rolls his eyes. cheol answers, speaking loud enough for you to hear him down the hall. “what do you want?”

“is jeonghan with you?” you ask, and cheol hums confirmation. then they both hear you yelling from the bedroom, “then come back here!!!”

“i’m getting water, do you need anything?” jeonghan asks as they both leave the guest room. 

“i’m good,” cheol waves him off, and jeonghan says he’ll be right back. cheol walks back to the bedroom, stopping in the doorway. you’re on your phone, but you let it fall to your chest when you hear a presence at the door. “hey. jeonghan’s getting water.”

“ok,” you reply, scooting over to make room for him on your side of the bed. “come lay down.”

“is it against the rules if i kiss you goodnight?” cheol asks jokingly, but you shake your head no, and jeonghan adds from the doorway, “no, it would actually be kinda rude if you didn’t.” cheol watches jeonghan walk around him, placing a glass of water on your nightstand. he kneels on the bed to reach your lips, kissing you softly before he walks around to his side of the bed, leaving you to look at cheol expectantly. he bashfully gets on the bed, on instinct grabbing you by the waist as he lays down. he looks at you before leaning in, kissing you softly and whispering good night before he pulls away again. 

“night cheollie,” you whisper back, reaching for jeonghan behing you. you manage to pull his arm around your chest, tucking it under your own arm so his hand is at your chest. you press a kiss to his knuckles and whisper, “night hannie,” and you knock out pretty soon after that. 

“are you gonna turn the light off?” jeonghan asks, and cheol notices he’s been watching him. your head is so low on the pillows that jeonghan can stare directly at cheol, and he watches as his friend turns around to flip the light off. cheol returns, finding jeonghan’s eyes still watching him.

“you waiting for a goodnight kiss or something?” cheol teases, and jeonghan shakes his head.

“not unless you want one,” he challenges, and cheol stares back, mind obviously somewhere else. “what’s wrong?”

“why her?” he asks quietly. “why did you start dating y/n, of all people? i’m happy for you, please don’t think i’m not, but...it hurt, finding that out. it hurt from both sides. so..why?”

“because i missed you,” jeonghan whispers back, something sad in his voice. “i think we both did, and something about this, about us, just made it seem like you were here.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

“anymore questions?”

“not right now, no,” cheol shakes his head, hair falling into his eyes. “but it’s...good to know.”

“we can talk about it more tomorrow,” jeonghan says, situating himself so he’s more comfortable. he closes his eyes before he says, “you need to rest cheol.”

“yeah,” he sighs, knowing he’s got too many thoughts floating around for that to be a possibility. “night jeonghan.”

-

you wake up in the morning to sounds of snores. usually it’s just jeonghan’s soft, airy snores you wake up to, but today it’s like there’s a thunderstorm happening. that’s when you remember cheol, and as if on cue, his arms tighten around your waist and pull you closer to his chest. jeonghan’s face was laying on your shoulder, so he falls slightly and wakes himself up. he blinks up at you a few times, smiling when he finds you staring back.

“morning baby,” he whispers. 

“morning my love,” you reply, and he kisses along your shoulder. “how’d you sleep?”

“good,” he nods. “i didn’t wake up at all, which is surprising with snore master over there.”

“i can hear you,” cheol grumbles. “go back to sleep.”

“no,” you and jeonghan say in unison, and cheol groans. 

“you’re annoying.” you roll over so you can wrap your arms around cheol, jeonghan grabbing onto your waist and propping his head on your shoulder. cheol peeks an eye at you both and says, “you’re annoying. but kinda cute too.”

“who, me or hannie?” you ask, and cheol pretends to think about it.

“both?”

“sweet,” jeonghan smiles, kissing your shoulder again as he slides out of bed. “i’m making coffee. you gotta get up if you want any.”

“how long did it take him to figure that one out?” cheol asks while you watch jeonghan get dressed.

“like the second date?” you guess, and jeonghan nods to confirm. you look back at cheol and say, “he’s pretty smart. he also learned not to interrupt me when i’m reading like way earlier than you.”

“no fair, i told him that,” cheol pouts, and jeonghan whines back that he wouldn’t remember something like that. they bicker back and forth, cheol’s pout getting more and more pronounced. you lean forward and kiss him mid-whine, stilling nervously with your lips still on his. you look around and find jeonghan watching you, and he shrugs. 

“if you weren’t gonna shut him up i was,” he says as he walks out the door. “no more kissing without me though, i’ll feel left out!” 

“so he’s ok with us kissing,” cheol smiles at you, and you smack his shoulder. 

“we fucked last night, yeah he’s fine with us kissing.”

“well! that was last night,” cheol starts, fiddling with your hair like he always did when he was unsure of what to say next. 

“what’s wrong?” you ask, and he looks up at you sadly. 

“i can’t leave,” he whispers. “i don’t...i can’t be without you again.”

“cheollie,” you sigh, threading your hand through his hair. “let’s go talk about it, ok? you won’t lose us again, i promise.”

cheol follows you like a lost puppy into the kitchen. he nods politely when you ask if he wants coffee, and his heart flips when you hand him a mug made exactly how he likes it. jeonghan’s got yours ready, so you all stand around the kitchen drinking quietly. you’re staring at cheol, and his eyes keep nervously flicking over to jeonghan. finally you turn and reach for jeonghan’s hand.

“hannie, i have a question,” you start. jeonghan grabs your hand in his and kisses it before telling you to go on. “is it ok if cheol stays a few more days?” 

“a few more days?” he asks, looking to cheol for confirmation. he doesn’t want to meet jeonghan’s eyes, but when he does, he relaxes instantly. that thing cheol couldn’t read last night is back. the way jeonghan’s looking at him right now is the same way jeonghan looks at you. that gives him enough confidence to nod, clearing his throat as he says, “yeah, um, i could stay in the guest room? but. i was wondering. if we could maybe...”

“date?” jeonghan finishes. “like, the three of us?”

“maybe?” cheol squeaks out. 

“sure,” jeonghan nods, looking to you and then back to cheol. “you wanna go out today?”

-

after a quick breakfast at home, you all get ready to run some errands before the actual “date” jeonghan claims to have planned. in reality it’s just dinner and a movie, his treat, but he keeps talking it up like it’s gonna be the best night ever. and maybe it will be. you never knew you could feel so loved, but you realize now that being with jeonghan and cheol gives you more than enough. you happily watch your boys argue over the best snacks at the grocery store, cheol swearing up and down that he knows what you like best while jeonghan argues that maybe your tastes have changed over the years. they’re both right, though. you like both. all. put everything in the cart, boys included. you’ve never been happier, and seeing the two of them together shows you how much they care for each other, too. 

one of the stops on your list of errands was, surprise, shopping for a new outfit. you needed something to wear for a big investor’s dinner coming up, and it was funny to watch the boys bicker over who would pay for your dress. it was also very distracting and borderline disrespectful to have them comment on every piece you tried on, their comments getting bolder and both men getting antsier the longer you sat them through this torture. you told them you were doing one final sweep of the store, hoping to find something that really jumps out, and when you return you push them both into separate changing rooms to try on some pieces you found with your boys in mind. it gives you a moment alone to try on the last dress and admire it without any heckling, but when jeonghan steps out of his dressing room he lets out a low whistle.

“you look hot as fuck, baby,” he tells you, arms wrapping around your waist and his head falling to your shoulder. his hands drag across your stomach, admiring the beading, and he tries moving a sneaky hand up beneath your chest. the sound of cheol coming out of his dressing room diverts your attention, and you make grabby hands for him to join you in front of the mirror. 

there you stand, smiling proudly at your boys. you look gorgeous, and they look...confused? cheol looks at himself in the mirror, then at jeonghan, then turns to you and asks, “did you make us try on the same outfit?”

“what?” you laugh, pulling jeonghan from behind you so he can stand at your side. with both of them on display, now it’s easy to see that you gave them the same clothes. you’re almost drooling at the way that they both effortlessly make a pair of slacks and a button up look so sexy. you grab their hands closest to you, swinging them as the boys stare at their reflection.

“his thighs look better than mine,” jeonghan points out.

“sure, but your clavicle is very tantalizing,” you tease, kissing his cheek. when you turn back to the mirror, you see jeonghan’s blush and give his hand an extra squeeze.

“why’d you do this?” cheol pouts, still looking at the three of you in the mirror. “i feel silly.”

“sorry, i’ve just always wanted two boyfriends,” you start out, “because i want to dress them like twins.”

[fixfoxnox]

Mw2 headcannons where Shepherd kills us as bait and sends a video of it to the team...

Oh boy oh boy this is dark isn't it? This should be fun though. Not sure if you wanted this as romantic or friendship so I'll try to toe the line.

141 Sent A Video of Reader Dying

Warnings: Reader Death, gunshots

Price is the one the video gets sent to, Shepherd knows that if it gets to Price the rest of the 141 will see it too

Price has been stressed about you being taken hostage by Shepherd, and while he's tried not to think the worst, he knows immediately what the video is as soon as it shows up.

The second he looks at it and sees no letter or anything attached, a part of him just knows. A part of him starts grieving right then.

For the rest of the 141, Gaz and Soap had been staying pretty positive.

It was clear that Gaz was feeding off of a lot of Price's energy, so while he knew the possibility, he'd been cautiously optimistic about getting you back.

He was one of the younger members of the team and while he'd seen death, it had never been anything as close as this. So in his mind, the possibility of you dying just didn't seem real.

There was no world for him in which he wouldn't eventually see you again and get to have your warmth to brighten up his days.

For Soap, he wasn't even letting himself consider the bad that could happen.

Even when Price and Ghost were trying to keep him realistic, to him there was just no world in which you didn't come back. He never even questioned it for a second.

Your disappearance didn't seem to bother him, because he expected that by the next week you'd be right back at his side, teasing him about something or the other.

For Ghost, he was probably the most pessimistic of the group.

Ghost has seen loss. He's seen loss and he knows what men like Shepherd are capable of, what they'll do to prove a point

So the second that Ghost hears that Shepherd has you, he practically already starts grieving.

He's more quiet and reserved from the rest of the group and when he refers to you, its already in past tense.

He and Soap butt heads a lot during this time. Ghost isn't being positive enough for Soap's taste, and Soap isn't being realistic enough for Ghost's.

Several times, Ghost just closes his eyes and tries to picture your voice and your face. He wants to commit you to memory, keep everything fresh enough that he can't forget.

Roach doesn't know what to think.

He's worried out of his mind and his brain keeps bouncing between grief and determination to get you back.

A part of him wants to just sit still and do nothing, a part of him is frozen in that state, just numbness as it tries to work through what is happening

The other part of him is working his ass off. This part doesn't care about processing what happened, it just wants to have you back.

He's already planning your return meal, the breakfast and lunch and dinner he'll make for you as he recovers.

Similar to Price, as soon as Ghost see's the tape, he knows.

Price walks in to the meeting room with it, Laswell trailing behind him and Ghost sees the little tape in his hand and his mouth just snaps shut. He doesn't say a word.

Price warns the group flat out. He tells them whats likely on the tape, he tells them that if they don't want to watch, if they don't want the chance of seeing, then they can leave

None of them leave. They can't, not when it comes to you. They have to see.

The video starts and immediately they're all on edge. There's you, tied to a chair in some dark and dank room.

You look tired and even over the video they can see the cuts and bruises on your skin, the way your clothes are torn and cut, how defeated you look.

Shepherd starts talking. He's walking around you, stopping behind you to place his hand on your shoulders. When he does you flinch.

Soap is seething as he watches the video. Roach seems frozen in place, Gaz is wringing his hands together nervously, Ghost hasn't moved a muscle, but his whole body is tense. Price seemed defeated.

They only pick up on bits and pieces of what Shepherd says, they're so focused on you.

They pick up on Shepherd saying that you've given them nothing, stayed loyal and kept your mouth shut no matter what they tried. Each of the boys feels pride flood through them at that.

But, of course, the video has to end and Shepherd brings things to a close.

He stops behind you in the video. "If we can't get anything from them, the least we can do is send a message."

He pulls his gun out. You don't flinch as you feel it press against the back of your head. You just stare forward at the camera, unmoving.

The gunshot rings out and your body slumps forward. The video cuts off and the 141 are left in the silence of what they've just seen.

It doesn't take long for tears to start falling. For Soap to collapse with his face in his hands against the table. For Gaz to look to Price, hoping to see something only to be met with the signs of clear grief on his face. For Roach to feel tears slide down his cheeks as he stares forward, completely unmoving. For Ghost to get up and leave the room, unable to sit with the group any longer as grief consumes them.

A cloud lays over the 141, they've lost one of their own. They have to start grieving.

[beenbaanbuun]

Ateez with an s/o who's always a little horny right after waking up. That's it. That's the thought.

(This totally doesn't come from the fact that I'm like that and wake up constantly wishing yunho's fingers or mingi's head were between my thighs)

~lyra

OKAY SO THIS?!?!?!? IMMACULATE IDEA!!

(warning for smut and somnophilia but i feel like that’s obvious)

seonghwa

okay so i’m of the opinion that seonghwa will do anything to keep the love of his life happy

if that means letting you grind on his thighs when you wake up first thing in a morning, then so be it!

like i can imagine him waking up to your moans one morning, all bleary eyes and confused while you try your hardest to push yourself to an orgasm

he watches through his lashes for a second while he decides what to do because he’s still tired but he can’t leave his love to suffer!

“just use my thigh, darling,” he mutters eventually, voice still a little scratchy, “i cant sleep with you squirming about like that.”

you’re a little confused, but seonghwa just pulls you closer and slides a thigh between yours

“there you go,” he says as you grind down, “now go crazy, darling.”

hongjoong

hongjoong strikes me as someone who likes to use toys in the bedroom (idk why, he just gives me those vibes)

like he collects them like pokémon cards and just keeps them in one of his drawers for when the opportunity strikes

and it does strike when he wakes up one morning to you moaning and squirming in your sleep

he takes him time picking a toy out before shaking you awake and dangling in front of your tired eyes

“you want this, baby?” he watches as you sleepily nod, “ask for it like a good girl.”

and even though your voice is slurred with sleep and your eyes are already fluttering closed again, you can’t help but quietly beg for what hongjoong is offering

yunho

oh you’re so right about yunho’s fingers - i am a huge fan of them personally and i think he definitely gets off on seeing his partner fall apart on them

so when you have a conversation with him about always being horny when you first wake up, a million ideas flood his brain

“what if i woke you up by making you cum?” he asks as if it’s the most casual thing in the world, “y’know, play with you a little to get rid of that tension.”

you’re practically squirming in your seat at the idea, and of course yunho can tell

so the next time you sleep over, he puts it to the test and begins to play with your clit first think when he wakes up

and by the time you even wake up, he already has two fingers stuffed deep inside of you fucking you mercilessly as he pushes you closer to the edge

yeosang

yeosang would be so nonchalant about it but in the best way possible

like it’s kind of hot when you nudge him awake, a whine climbing up your throat as you struggle to make yourself cum with your fingers

he just grunts at you tiredly and pats his lap for you to climb on, which you do in a heartbeat

“you can ride me if you want,” he says with his eyes still closed, “i’d fuck you but i’m too tired right now.”

and you’re kind of too tired as well, but the horniness outweighs it and you power through the ache in your bones as you work to get him hard before sliding down onto his cock

and the moment you’ve finished he’s wrapping you in his arms and pulling you to his chest

“10 more minutes and then we’ll get up.”

san

if you don’t think san is doing everything in his power to make his lover happy then i’m afraid you’re incorrect

so when he finds out about your little morning horniness problem, he’s obviously filled with sympathy and compassion (and horniness…)

“you can wake me up, you know,” he shrugs, trying to seem chill about it, “or just use my body, or some shit. i don’t mind, babe.”

and of course you take him up on his offer; you use any part of his body you can think of

his thigh, his bicep, his abs - it’s all on the table for you, and it’s so good every single time

and when he wakes up to see you already a moaning mess, grinding on the muscles he’s worked so hard on, it’s safe to say you’ll have to prepare yourself for round two… and three

mingi

i’ve said it a million times before but this man has an oral fixation and you know i’m right!!!!

so obviously when you complain about how much you hate waking up horny all the time, it’s like christmas has come early for him

“do you want me to sort that for you?” he perks up, eyes glistening like you’ve just given him the moon, “i can sort that for you…”

and of course you agree because you’re so sick and tired of always having to wank first thing in the morning!!

but what you don’t know is that the alternative mingi is suggesting is you waking up to him mouthing at your core like a starving animal each and every morning

you cant complain when he does the job so well though

he always makes you cum at least three times before pulling away and shoving his dick inside of you to solve his own morning wood problem…

wooyoung

again, i’ve said it a million times before but he’s such an evil little shit!!!!

like i can imagine him waking up pretty early in the morning, only to hear the sweet sound of your moans echoing through the room

he turns to you with an amused grin, watching you way your face screws up as you desperately paw at your clit

“want some help?” you nod desperately, “you’ll have to say sorry for waking me up first. i couldn’t sleep with you being so loud!”

and if you weren’t so desperate you wouldn’t even considered it for a millisecond, but you’re right on the edge and you just need one more thing to push you over the edge so…

“m’sorry, youngie,” you say with a sleepy voice, “please make me cum.”

and how can he say no when you ask so nicely??

jongho

jongho is another little devil who i think takes great pride in teasing you for being so horny

“you want me to fuck you while you’re still asleep?” he cocks an eyebrow at you when you first bring it up, “you really can’t get enough of me, can you honeybun?”

and you can’t help but roll your eyes at him, even though he’s right; you really can’t get enough of him…

the next morning you wake up to jongho’s moans in your ear and a heavy cock spreading you open and fucking into you

“g’morning,” he grunts into your ear, “didn’t think you’d be asleep for so long but i guess you’re a slut even in your dreams.”

the both of you finish pretty soon after you wake up, and the moment you do, jongho goes back to being his usual teddy bear self

literally has you pinned to his chest and his soft cock still inside you for pretty much the rest of the morning

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Good Evening - Charles Leclerc

<word count - 880>

You hadn't seen Charles for pretty much the whole of the day, since he had been stuck in online meetings. You had taken him some drinks and lunch, but all you received was a quick kiss on the cheek accompanied by a 'thank you'.

Now, you were in the kitchen, not sure of what to do for dinner. Charles was still in a meeting for as far as you knew, so you didn't want to interrupt by knocking on and asking. You were at a loss, unable to come up with anything to do with yourself.

In the end, the stack of dishes beside the sink seemed like something that needed tackling, and you hoped to be done by the time Charles was finished. Asking the speaker in the corner to play some soft jazz, you set yourself up in front of the sink and set the hot water running.

You piled dish after dish into the sink, before setting it on the rack to dry, and it took you awhile to even get through half. You couldn't even remember how it had gotten so bad, it felt like you had done them yesterday.

You gently swayed your hips along to the music, humming as you carried on scrubbing. You jumped a little when you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, a kiss landing on your cheek.

"You done for the day?" You asked, continuing with the dishes as Charles rested his weight onto you. "Mhm," he hummed, burying his face into your neck.

"What do you want for dinner?" You also asked as he squeezed you tighter. Charles took a minute to think, but his brain had already done double the amount of thinking it could handle for the day. "I don't mind, whatever is easiest," he answered, offering absolutely zero ideas.

"Thanks for the help on that one Charles, really inspirational," you teased, and you felt him huff against your neck. He was grumpy, and you liked to rattle him just a bit when he was. "I'm tired, baby," he groaned.

"I know you are, you've had a long day," you told him, finishing up the last of the dishes and resting your arms over his, just standing there together. "Can you come to bed with me? I'm not hungry, just tired," he whined.

"OK, OK, we can go to bed," you said, turning your head to the side and kissing him on top of his hair, which was ruffled as much as it possibly could be. The songs were still quietly playing in the corner, and you still swayed your hips to the rhythm.

Spinning in his arms, you slung your arms over his shoulders as he swayed with you. He pulled you close, leaving his arms grasped around your waist. You gently rested your head on his chest, hearing the slow thuds of his heartbeat.

He buried his face in your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo as you silently swayed to the music. "I love you, so so much," Charles mumbled, just having a moment.

There were just these times when he was filled with love for you, and he just had to tell you at any given opportunity. You were the light of his life, and you were everything he had ever wanted in his life. 

"I love you too," you said, your words muffled by his chest. As you swayed, you eventually made your way to the kitchen door. "Can we go to bed now?" He asked, already trying to tug you towards the bedroom.

"Yes, we can," you said, letting him pull you through the apartment and into you room. The lights were never switched on, Charles just flopped down on the bed and let you close the curtains.

You chuckled to yourself as he fell down face first into his pillow, waiting for you to join him. You purposely took your time, quickly leaving the room to get a glass of water. "Baby! Hurry up, I'm tired and I need cuddles," you heard him yell. 

You could just picture his scrunched up, grumpy face with a pout on his lips. "I'm coming!" you called back, switching off the lights as you walked through the apartment. "I'm here, you can stop whining now," you playfully scolded, lying down on your side of the bed.

With all the energy he had left, Charles hauled his body over to you, until he was practically on top of you. "Now this is what I need after a hard days work," he muttered, snuggling into you. "You call sitting in online meetings all day hard work?"

"You don't?" he softly laughed, closing his eyes as he listened to your heartbeat. 

"Well, you can sleep now," you told him, tangling your fingers into his chocolate locks and mindlessly playing with the strands, earning a hum of happiness from him. "And sleep I will," he smiled, settling comfortably. 

"Goodnight," he mumbled, feeling the good vibrations through his head as you messed with his hair. "It's 5pm," you told him, and he just groaned at you.

"Fine, good evening then," he said, eliciting a chuckle from you.

"Good evening, Charles," you smiled, liking the fact he was pretty much acting as your weighted blanket. You were both tired, and an early night never hurt anyone.  

A/N - Another short little thing I whipped up until the big day tomorrow! Fun fact, it's not only Maxie's birthday tomorrow :0... There WILL be a celebratory post, and look out for a poll to do with something Christmassy coming soon! Requests are open, so send in whatever you like! Have a wonderful evening/day, and I love you loads 💖

|masterlist|

[kaciidubs]

telling pillow princess hannie to top you, and so he sits there dumbfounded, unsure of where to even start. as he’s desperately fucking into you, he’s whining and begging you to take the lead again, because it’s just soooo difficult and tiring for him to do all the work </3

PLZ MAKE THIS A DRABBLE / MINI FIC

Nonnie, your brain is AMAZING for this! I'll turn it to a short drabble for now, but perhaps in the future it could expand it into a mini fic! ❣️ ❣ Warnings; Pillow Princess! Jisung, Fem Mean Dom! Reader, decryphilia, begging, degradation, dom/sub dynamics, slight feminization, mommy kink ❣ Additional tags; Han is referred to as Jisung, Sungie, and more, Reader is referred to as Jagi, and Mommy

Telling pillow princess! Jisung to top you would go something like this...

"Y-You want me to what?"

It wasn't that he hadn't heard you clearly, no, not at all, but the words you said almost sounded foreign to him the first go around.

"Fuck me."

Yep, that's exactly what you said.

Of course, he'd wanted to get into your pants the second he came home, his brain going dumb as any and all thoughts centered around you, you, you - but he didn't want the lead, he wanted to be used as per usual.

Jisung was submissive through and through, and though he had spikes of switch tendencies, they all usually ended with him begging to fill you or be filled; body resting beautifully on the crumpled sheets of your shared bed - your dirty little pillow princess.

"I... But... I wanted you to-"

A disinterested hum floated through you as you laid against the bed, taking his place amongst the pillows and blankets, "That's strange, I don't remember asking you what you wanted, Sungie. I told you to fuck me, did I not?"

He whimpered, his already hard dick jumping between his legs at your harsh tone, "Y-Yes, mommy."

"Well, then," you parted your legs further, inviting him toward your glistening cunt, "come and do as you're told, princess."

He tried, truthfully he tried, but the minute his tip sunk past your walls, he was doomed; body shivering with restraint as he tried to think of how to start without fully crumbling to his desire of chasing his orgasm.

Did you want him fast? Slow? Should he have eaten you out first? No, you didn't ask him that - you would've sat on his face without even mentioning it. God, you were so tight, how was he supposed to do this?

"Jisung, if I wanted to cockwarm you, I would've done it myself."

"'M sorry, I just-" An airy moan fell from his pink lips as you purposely clenched around him, shaking hands seeking refuge on your hips, "F-Feels too good, Jagi, I don't know-"

"Move."

He looked up at you with teary eyes, pouting in hopes of coercing you into changing your mind about putting him in control, "Jagi-"

"Move, Jisung."

Heeding your command, he delivered a shallow thrust, eyes fluttering as a wave of pleasure shot up his spine, before he repeated the action again, and again, and again - eventually working himself up to a slow, unevenly paced flow.

Your fingers tweaked at your nipples to provide yourself further stimulation as you watched your adorable sub worked himself into an overstimulated fit.

It was too slow, it was too sporadic, he couldn't fight his full instinct of burying himself to the hilt in order to give fuller strokes and he couldn't take it. He didn't want your guidance, he wanted you to use him like a toy - fold and bend him to your liking and take as much of him as you desired, he was good for it, after all.

"Mommy?" He was defeated, and it didn't even feel like a full ten minutes of him topping, "Mommy, please, I-I can't do it."

A disappointed sigh escaped you, though from the way you were practically dripping around him it was obvious you weren't truly dissatisfied - you loved watching him crumble.

"Are you that much of a needy slut to even take what you want from me? Even after I offered myself up to you so nicely?" Tilting your head, you sized him up with a sharp gaze, "You can't even get yourself off without begging for my help, can you? What a shame, I shouldn't even let you come."

Jisung let out a sob, shaking his head frantically, "N-No! Please, mommy, I need it - I need you!"

Deciding to spare him further turmoil, you nodded your head to the side, "On your back, princess."

Pulling out of you with a whine of disdain, he quickly flopped onto the empty space beside you and watched as you pushed yourself onto your knees; throwing a leg over his lap to straddle him with ease.

"Just so you know," you huffed, hovering above him and watching as that familiar spark glimmered in his eyes, "I'm not stopping until you're dry, you hear me? You want me to use you like the little sex toy you are, fine - I'll use you."

[Unedited]

[talaok]

Hi!

I have a joel request

Ok so reader is with Joel from Boston, maybe Tess introduced them, but they’re end up taking a liking to each other and don’t tell Tess.

Reader ends up pregnant (remains a secret between Joel and her) but she joins them on the quest with Ellie and to Tommy.

They meet Haney and Sam and Joel is extra overprotective of reader all the time, maybe she’s around forth month and just slightly showing, enough for Henry to catch on

Pt. 2

You didn't know exactly how or when it had started, it kind of just... had.

The Boston QZ wasn't an easy place to wander alone, so when Tess had offered you some company, you hadn't refused.

Since you were both smugglers, after some time she had introduced you to who you believed to be her partner, to work together for a job. As it turns out, Joel Miller wasn't her boyfriend, what he was, however, was a man of few words.

It wasn't easy at first, you kept asking him questions and he kept answering with no more than a grunt or a mumbled yes or no.

You were sure he despised you or was just unnervingly indifferent to you.

But then one day, something changed.

He had asked you to help him out with a job, and of course, you had agreed, completely conscient of having just condemned yourself to hours of endless silence.

But that's not how it went, not at all.

He had spent the night asking you questions, and thanks to some kind of miracle, even answering yours.

You had talked and talked for hours, and that night, the man who up until that point you believed to be just a ruthless survivor, turned into a kind, fun man.

You had asked him about that night months later, and after a bit of pressuring he eventually confessed:

"I don't know, I guess I finally decided that I had spent enough time punishing myself... and I was tired of seeing your pretty face frown each time I pushed you away"

Things after that night changed, you started spending more and more time together, until well... that's all you wanted to do.

He showed you part of himself he kept hidden, and you did the same until you both knew every good and bad and sad of each other. Until there was nothing to hide anymore.

It's weird... finding love at the end of the world, and yet, you'd done it.

And as happy as you were, you were both terrified too.

In the world you lived in, love wasn't just love anymore, it was weakness,

it was the possibility of losing everything again.

And the fear only grew stronger when you found out you were pregnant.

There were so many things to be scared of, the practical part, having to deliver a child in a world where zombies roamed the streets, having to be a good mother, not knowing how to be a good mother, and then finally... having to tell Joel.

You saw the fear in him too, when you finally told him, you saw the paralyzing fear flash before his eyes, and then, like magic, you saw it all melt away.

He had hugged you for what felt like an hour, feeling so many things at once he had no idea what to say.

Until, finally, leaning away, he had made you a simple promise:

"I love you. And I'll protect you, if it's the last thing I do I'll protect you, both of you"

You chose not to say anyone, not even Tess. It was safer and easier. When the time would have come, you would have said something, but then Ellie came along.

Joel had begged you with everything he had to stay in Boston, to not follow him and Tess, and to forget about him if he was to never come back.

But you had fought back with the same intensity. You had told him the truth. That you couldn't do it without him, that he was the only person you trusted.

"fine" he had sighed, after you had given him a headache "but don't do anything stupid"

And at that, you had smiled "When have I ever?"

Now everything had changed once again, Tess was dead.

You would expect it to get easier, loss... but it doesn't.

you never told her, she never knew, and now she'll never know.

You were four months pregnant, shirts had just started getting tighter, and your brain fuzzier.

you still hadn't told Ellie. For some reason it felt like the moment you did, everything would become real, and your luck would run out.

You had "met" Henry and Sam along the way, Joel wasn't a big fan, but you liked them, especially Sam, he was a smart boy.

You had walked in the tunnels all day until you stumbled across an underground settlement.

"Can we rest here for a while?" Ellie asked after she and Sam found one of the awful comics they apparently both loved "There's like- actual shit to do here"

"wouldn't be so bad to wait the light out a bit" Henry intervened, feeling the need to explain himself better when Joel shot him a look "safer in shadows when we pop back out on the other side"

He wasn't convinced, you could see it, and your feet were killing you, so...

"please Joel" was all you needed to say to change his mind.

"fine" he sighed "Just for a while," he said, before walking to you.

"Are you all right?" he asked, worry evident in his tone

"I'm fine, I'm just tired"

"did you eat enough?"

You smiled "I did"

His eyes fell to your belly for a moment "Here" he said, reaching in his pocket for some food he had in a napkin "Eat this"

"Joel..."

"I don't need to eat tonight, don't worry"

"you do need to" you protested, trying to give it back

"no" he shook his head "what I need is for you to be healthy"

You bit down a smile as you put the food in your backpack "Y'know... I miss kissing you"

"I kissed you this morning"

"yeah well..." you pouted

"I know," he said, as his thumb stroked your arm "I miss it too"

Ellie's laugh brought you both back to reality.

You grinned, watching as she talked to Sam.

"I better go see what she's up to," you said "wouldn't want her to teach the poor kid all the bad words she knows"

Joel's lips twitched into a small smile "We'd be here for hours" he joked, making you laugh "Try to rest, ok?" he said, more seriously now.

"Yes sir" you mocked "you too"

Something traveled between your eyes before you went your way.

Joel watched as you sat with the kids, and decided to sit next to Henry, he owed him some sort of apology.

"If you were collaboratin' to take care of him, I shouldn't have said what I said. I don't know your situation. And I'm not saying they should let it go, but... all things considered, seems kinda cruel to send a whole army after you for that" Joel spoke, his eyes not leaving you. He knew damn well he too, would do anything for you or the baby.

"You know, I wasn't exactly telling you the truth before, about me not killing anyone," Henry said after some time, as he started telling Joel everything, about Kathleen's brother, about Sam's sickness... everything.

"I am the bad guy because I did a bad guy thing," Henry said, pain and frustration tracing his words "but you get it though. you might not be her father, but you were someone's... and you're gonna be someone's"

Joel's jaw twitched, and he tightened his fists as he stared at the man.

How does he know?

"I see the way you glance at her whenever you hear a noise, I see how you always get her behind you," he explained, without needing to be told to "The first thing you said when we woke you up with guns pointing at you was, - don't point it at her-" Henry recalled "plus" he smiled "she's the only one you listen to"

"don't worry" Henry said, noticing Joel's look "I won't tell"

They both turned in your direction, as they heard you reading the comic aloud.

Both the kids were looking at you, completely hypnotized.

"she'll be a great mother"

"I know," Joel said "I know she will"

— —

Pt. 2

[mrsriddlenott]

The Sixth Day Of Smutmas

[smutmas masterlist] [main masterlist]

~ Secret Santa ~

bsf!Sirius Black x fem!Reader

Summary: Sirius gets your name for Secret Santa and decides to prank you by having you open a dildo in front of all your friends. However, he’s shocked and flustered when you jokingly say you’re grateful and you’ll need it since your sex life is stale. In private, Sirius tells you he’d like to change that.

Warnings: 18+ Content!! Language, Alcohol, SexToys(not used),Size Kink,Smut, Unprotected PinV, Creampie, Kinda Public Sex.

Your face went hot as you slowly unwrapped the box in front of you and began to realize exactly what it was, you were positive your cheeks were bright red as you removed enough of the wrapping paper for the whole group to see the red and white striped dildo in it’s box.

“Oh….wow,” Your eyes widened as you realized the sheer size of the object, “That’s much bigger than I’m used to.” You joked, thinking about who would possibly get you this as everyone around you laughed. “Okay I don’t know. Who got it for me?”

“Well I did of course.” Sirius pipes up proudly with a snicker, “I saw it and thought of you.” You felt like it should have pissed you off as it was clearly an attempt to embarrass you, but it didn’t. The thought of Sirius, your absolute best friend, thinking of you using the sex toy and wanting to watch you get embarrassed was honestly turning you on. You knew you had to say something that resembled a come back as your friends watched you, suppressing giggles as Sirius’ eyes locked into yours tauntingly from the couch across you.

“Jeez, thank you Siri, I don’t know how you knew I needed one. I may actually use it, I haven’t had sex in months y’know.” You laughed to yourself as your friends joined in, laughing even harder when you saw Sirius’ wide eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he gulped and leant back on the sofa, spreading his legs and taking up far too much room as his eyes followed you to your room where you tossed the object inside onto your bed.

As the night continued, Sirius found it difficult to take his eyes off of you, if he was being honest he always found himself staring at you, but after your comment about his gift it increased ten fold. His brain filled with images of you alone at night chasing a high you couldn’t reach with some tiny pathetic dildo, he loved the idea of you pleasing yourself on his gift, filling you up more than you ever had been. When you eventually flopped down on the couch beside him, clutching your wine glass in one hand as you tugged your legs up under you, facing him entirely as his arm draped along the back of the couch by your side his fantasies intensified. “You’ve been quiet tonight, what’s up?”

His brain clouded with your scent, filling with thoughts of you below him, whining as he stretched you out further than you could even imagine possible. He was much larger than the dildo he’d gotten you, which was rather average in size despite you seemingly thinking it was pretty large. It hurt him to know that you thought that was big, what asshole lied to you about that?! He found himself angry at the thought of you fake moaning and clenching around some douchebag who knew you needed someone bigger, someone like him, someone who could stretch you out and keep everything insi- “Siri?”

Your soft voice pulled him from his thoughts, forcing him to realize he had been staring at you for at least a minute, “Sorry what?” Your giggle that escapes your lips as you grip his wrist sends his heart rate skyrocketing before you ask again if he was okay.

“Yeah I’m okay, you’re here so of course I am.” He sighed, watching you light up at his words, smiling brightly up to him before you were falling into a yawn. He couldn’t help but smile ridiculously wide at you, your were absolutely adorable in his eyes. He couldn’t fathom how you could be so unbelievably sexy while at the same time squeezing his heart with every little thing you do. “You’re tired, maybe you should get to bed after this glass.” Sirius stated as he gently tapped at the rim of your wine glass teasingly.

“Oh my Gods, remember when me and Lily would sneak into you guys’ dorm for sleepovers?!” You asked excitedly, feeling a little bubbly as you took another sip of your wine, “Maybe we could do something like that for old times sake, I’m sure Remus wouldn’t mind if you guys stayed the night, right Rem?”

“Of course, it’s your place too y’know? You’ve lived here for almost a year, you don’t need to run plans by me” Remus chuckled, barley turning to you as he sat nursing his one and only drink of the night, chatting with Marlene about one of the books he’d just gotten as a gift.

“I’ve been wondering by the way,” Siriys seemed to stall, as if contemplating if he should ask his question before ultimately deciding and continuing, “Why did you choose Remus to be your roommate? After you said you were moving out of your parents’ house I guess I kinda assumed you’d wanna move into my flat like you always used to say.” His eyes avoided yours, watching his fingertips tug at a thread on the couch beside your shoulder as if it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me there,” You stuttered on your words as you tried to form an excuse, “I mean, you never offered so I guess I just thought it was one of those teenage fantasies we had like starting a bike shop that doubled as a tattoo parlor.” You laughed, trying to make light of his statement that you were sure you were reading too much into. Everyone dreams of living with their best friend but you always imagined it differently than he must have been.

While you were imagining romantic mornings and sensual evenings, you figured he was imagining help with the rent or chores, and maybe a few fun nights drinking before you’d both return to your separate bedrooms. Which couldn’t have been further from the truth. In reality, Sirius would imagine how you’d look when you’d wake up or go to bed, what you’d wear on a hot day, how you’d react if he’d come to your room at night and - Sirius shakes his thoughts from his head as he refocused on you, “I would have loved to have you if Moony hadn’t swooped in first.”

You chuckle nervously as you turn to the rest of the group downing the last of your wine before you spoke, “I think I’m gonna call it a night, I’ve had a few too many glasses of wine,” You exaggerate as you move toward your room, searching for an escape from your awkward, inappropriate feelings for your best friend. You quickly changed into your matching Christmas sleep set before falling into your bed, almost immediately slipping into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

Only a few hours went by before you were awake again, it was only a little after one when you woke, finding it difficult to go back to bed so deciding instead to turn on your light in order to read a book in the hopes that you’d fall asleep again soon. Not long after you were abruptly interrupted by an urgent knock at your door, jumping from your bed to open it, half expecting Remus to be on the other side injured or in need of something.

“What are you doing here? It’s almost two in the morning.” You laughed in an attempt to suppress your nerves as Sirius leant himself against the frame of your door, his hooded eyes raking up your body, observing how your Christmas sleep shorts and matching tanktop moved as you stepped aside to let him in your bedroom. His cocky smile you loved so much was plastered across his face as he stilled in the center of your room, letting you shut the door before he eyed you and spoke in a deep, gravely voice you weren’t familiar with, “I saw your light was on when I left the bathroom, and I wanted to ask I wanted to ask if you liked your gift?”

Your face flushed as you stuttered over your words, chuckling awkwardly and avoiding his questioning eyes, “It was funny yeah.” You tried, though he didn’t seem pleased with that response, stepping closer to you and quickly invading your personal space while eyeing you hungrily, “Y’know if it’s not enough I could always….help.”

You couldn’t speak, you tried to force your brain to spill every single thought it ever had about the man in front of you but it just wouldn’t. You stood still, eyes darting between his and his lips as his breath frantically fanned across your face before you shoved yourself forward, slamming your lips into his. Sirius immediately melted into you, as though you were made to be slotted against each other, his hands dancing across your back as your lips melded with his. Your hands tangled themselves between his raven locks, tugging as he shoved you against the door behind you. He was gaining his confidence that you loved so much back, his hand trailing up your waist to the side of your neck to pull you in closer. “Fuck, please tell me I can fuck you, I can’t wait Baby any more. We can talk about my feelings for you after but please please let me.”

He sighed against your neck, silently begging you to say yes as he licked up and down your neck, occasionally nipping at the flesh teasingly. “Yes, fuck yes please.” Sirius immediately tugged at your thighs, lifting you up and helping you wrap your legs around his waist as he walked you both towards your bed. He lightly set you down, maintaining eye contact as he crawled toward you, eyeing you like you were his prey.

“Are you sure Baby? You can say no, I promise I won’t be upset.” Instead of answering you launched yourself forward, tugging him down to you and between your legs as you wrapped yourself around him. You bucked your hips up against him, egging him on as he hastily unfastened his belt, still leaving his lips on yours absolutely unable to disconnect from your touch. He aggressively tugged your shorts and underwear aside as he shoved his pants down, freeing himself to spring up against his abdomen.

You separated from his lips in a gasp as you watched him bounce up and down beside your thigh, “You- you’re really big.” He chuckled down to you, kissing your forehead softly before he spoke in a gentle voice you weren’t use to.

“Don’t worry Sweetheart, I’ll go slow.” He whispered as he slowly began to push himself inside of you, forcing a gasp from you as he stretched you out. You whined in pain and pleasure, screwing your eyes shut as he bottomed out inside of you with a groan and whispered moan of your name. After a minute to let you adjust to him, he pushed himself up holding his weight up by a hand beside you head, the other supporting your hip as he set a steady pace, slowly pushing in and out of you as your wetness coated him and began to slip past you onto your bed.

Your whines became moans as he sped up slightly inside of you, still slowly thrusting into you, pressing against your g-spot each time, “Look at me.” Sirius demanded as his thrusts sped up, snapping into you until your eyes fluttered opened, “Good girl.” His voice sent chills down your spine as he returned to his previous pace, making your eyes roll to the back of your head as his tip massaged your softest spot.

The agonizingly slow thrusts against your tight walls was driving him crazy, his balls tightening quickly as they hit softly against your perfectly sculpted ass, “It’s been a while Baby, I might cum soon…mmph fuck…can…can I fuck my cum into you please…please I want to come inside.” You whimpered at his words, clenching around him desperately as you begged him to.

“Yes Gods yes please, I want you to mark my body Sirius, no one else ever has.” He groaned down to you, leaning in to capture your lips in his, picking his pace up to a perfect middle ground as you both panted against the others mouth, riding the edge of both your highs as he trailed his hand down your torso to toy with your clit. Sirius stuttered inside you, feeling the wetness on his fingers as he quickly played with the swollen bud of nerves, desperately holding back his release to cum in synch with you.

Sirius drew figure eights with his fingertips, loving the gasps from your mouth as he praised you, “You sound so beautiful, do you wanna cum for me Princess? I can’t cum until you do. Don’t you want me to cum Baby?” His words matched with two hard, quick thrusts sent you over the edge with a squeal as you clenched around his cock, finally allowing him to release inside you, painting your walls with his thick cum as he moaned your name loudly, surely alerting your friends that were once sleeping in the living room. Sirius remained still inside of you, keeping his cum buried deep until it squeezed it’s way around his shaft and onto your sheets, mixing with the growing puddle of your arousal as you both tried to catch your breath.

~~~~

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[hotyanderedaddies]

Yandere Werewolf (Secretly) Walking You Home...

[Yandere! Werewolf x GN Reader]

・゜・:.。..。.:・☆・゜・:.。..。.:・☆

You had gotten in trouble at school since one of your teachers accused you of cheating on a test (which you did, but still). As punishment, you were forced to stay after school and sweep/mop the entire upper floor.

You finished around 7:45 PM.

Hell no, you weren't going to call your parents for a ride and let them know you'd gotten in trouble. Hence, you decided to walk home in the dark.

The streetlights were on, but they were old so the yellowed light was already flickering and making it near impossible to see. The streets were already empty of people and cars, making it eerily vacant.

The voice in your head told you not to put in your airpods so that you could hear it if someone decided to sneak up on you. You shoved your hands in your pockets, your phone clenched tightly in your hand so that you could dial 911 in a moment's notice.

You could trim thirty minutes off your walk if you cut through a little section in the nearby woods...

"Um," you verbally hesitate, shivering slightly as you stare up at the dark woods that loom threateningly in front of you. It's late and you want to get home, but you were born with a sliver of self-preservation.

Still, it was late and you really wanted to get home as soon as possible.

"Damn it," you mutter to yourself and stomp towards the trail that dissects the forest.

The moonlight trickles down through the tops of the trees, barely illuminating your way. It's dark and cold, and you shiver as you pick up your pace, eager to get out of the woods quickly. Your heart is racing in your chest and a cold sweat breaks out on your forehead. Even the tiny hairs on the back of your neck stick straight up as fear courses through your veins.

SNAP!

You freeze at the sound of a twig breaking behind you... close behind you.

Your breath is caught in your throat.

Your limbs go numb.

Your eyes frantically dart around the forest but you can't see anything.

"Grrrr..."

"Fuck this shit!" you cry as you sprint as fast as you can. Your brain can barely register anything happening as all of your nerves scream at your legs to keep moving.

You swear that footsteps thud out behind you, but you're too terrified to look.

Eventually you made it out of the forest and didn't even slow your pace until you made it to your house. You hurried inside and did the lock and bolt behind you, nearly collapsing against the door in your exhaustion.

As you struggle to catch your breath, you can hear a wolf's howl echo out.

・゜・:.。..。.:・☆・゜・:.。..。.:・☆

Daddy wasn't happy that his pup (his loveydovey petname for You) had gotten in trouble at school. He makes a mental note to punish you later.

He's mainly mad because that means he has to wait to see you.

You walk to and from school everyday. You leave your house at 7:00 AM promptly, and walk home at 3:00 PM. And each time, Daddy makes sure that he's free to walk you to and from school.

What kind of Daddy would he be if he didn't make sure his pup was safe at all times?

You got out of school late, but rest assured that Daddy was diligently waiting for you in the shadows. He was tired, but he was also concerned that you might not get enough sleep for school tomorrow-- he'll have a "chat" with the teacher who kept you late.

Daddy keeps a safe distance between you two so that he can keep an eye on you, and you won't get scared of a the big hulking werewolf who's following your every movement.

Daddy loves you but he hasn't figured out how to tell you that you're his yet. So he bides his time.

He's happy with watching... for now.

He chuckles as he watches you hesitate on whether to take the long way that stays closer to the suburbs, or to take the shortcut through the woods. You decide on the woods, and Daddy puffs out his chest as he follows behind you, ready to protect you.

The smell of your fear permeates his senses and your frightened heartbeat assaults his ears. Before he knows it, his instincts take over and he dangerously closes the space between you two.

He can reach out his big, clawed hand and grab a tight hold of your hand and let you know that it's okay-- that Daddy's here. He wants to wrap both of his big arms around you and yank you into his chest so that he can give you some cuddles and make you feel better.

He gets closer and-- SNAP!

The both of you freeze in tandem as he accidentally steps on a twig.

OhShitOhShitOhShit!

Your fear spikes, and Daddy can't help but growl in response. Not at you, no, he could never growl at you that way. He's mad at himself because his pup is scared and it's all his fault.

You take off running, and his lupine instincts yell at him to chase.

Silly Pup, werewolves love to chase. And Daddy loves to chase you.

He follows behind you on all fours. You don't run that fast and if he wanted to (which he definitely does, but he knows that now isn't the right time), he could easily catch you and drag you back to his den.

Still, he lets you go home and only stops following behind when he hears the sounds of your lock and bolt.

Daddy lets out a reassuring howl, letting you know that he loves you and he'll see you tomorrow.

It's a promise.