#anyways i live for complicated family dynamics

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Ok no because hear me out-

When Emet Selch/Solus first appears near the end of Stormblood his conversations with Varis make me think a little y'know. Idk if I hallucinated this, but I think he says something along the lines of "you were always so emotional" to Varis. Or like, he insinuates that Varis has always had little control over his emotions.

(I haven't gotten to shadowbringers yet plz do not spoil too much. also apologies in advanced if I am wrong abt Solus/Emet Selch)

Solus was undoubtedly a horrible father and grandfather- and Varis is too- but Varis was sensitive as a child. Like he's genuinely just a guy- according to the wiki, like he denounced a massacre and disbanded the legion responsible. Also, his dad died and that kind of left Solus to be his paternal figure which was definitely super fucked up. Given how much Solus belittles him even in death and when he's the emperor- he was no better in life.

And idk where I saw this, but I think he actually genuinely loved his late wife? Y'know, Zenos' mom who died in childbirth or something? And listen, he's only twenty years older than Zenos- he was a young father. Can you fucking imagine that? Being raised by your asshole grand daddy, and then your loving wife fucking dies and leaves you with an entire new human being at like twenty.

My point is that Varis isn't a monster like the rest of the imperial family. No I'm not defending him, but he somehow just turned out pretty normal compared to the other two memebers of the royal family we know of. He has sympathy, he has morals, he has (or at least, used to have) a line he will not cross. Yeah he turned out a militaristic tyrant, but he was a normal fucking guy at one point and we definitely see that it peeks through a bit. Like I kinda remember he at least tries to be diplomatic when he meets with the alliance and the scions, and he still seems hurt by Solus' words. Idk man I just- he's not completely gone. He has some humanity left in him and he isn't as unapologetic as Zenos or Solus/Emet Selch.

And listen, I'm not defending his parenting style either- but I do understand why he just had no desire to be present in Zenos' life. After having Solus as his parental figure for most of his life, I think he has a fucked up idea of parenthood.

See, I think he loves Zenos somewhere deep down but yk generational trauma and maybe he's even a little envious of what Zenos is. Zenos is this paragon of mortal strength; a prodigy. Varis was no doubt great when he was younger as well, but Zenos is just so strong, unfeeling, and self assured- things Varis was expected to be when he was younger. He wasn't any of that though because we know (or I know because I hallucinated it) that he was emotional when he was younger. Also, Varis was just kinda neglectful towards Zenos, no? He never outright abused him or gave Zenos reason (for most of his life at least) to believe that Varis hated him. Idc if it's not canon, to me, I don't think he hates Zenos. Hates what Zenos had become maybe, but he seemed genuinely distraught or at least shocked when Elidibus was in Zenos' body. Like he took offense to it so you cannot tell me he doesn't at least care a bit.

Idk man. I don't even think I was able to get my point across that well?? I have lotsa thoughts bc I'm writing a little thing. Once again, not defending Varis, but he's very interesting to me in this regard because generational trauma is a song and dance any ethnic child is familiar with so I just had to share my two cents.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Outdrawn

f/f contemporary romance

two cartoonist who’ve been rivals since uni, and now have competing webcomics online, have to work together on the relaunch of a cult classic at the comic press they both work at

they both struggle with art-related physical and mental health issues, and complicated families

[mkstrigidae]

I'm developing so much more sympathy for GRRM's habit of going off and writing prequels and smaller vignettes while he's working on TWoW. I'm sitting here trying to work on APWH and the gremlin in my brain is like 'Edmure and Roslin pov story nownownow'.

[amatres]

what if part of hawke hated malcolm for leaving the family behind (he died) and leaving the role behind that they had to fill in

[bluedosjaykewon]

🥹✨Enhypen as Dads✨🥹

Fluffy, only lots and lots of suggar

Heeseung

Making everyone very sad (I know we would all like to see Heeseung being a “girl dad”, I would love it too) but I see Hee being father of two boys (about 3 or 4 years apart)

I honestly think he would be so happy with that since he grew up with his brother too so he wants to provide a childhood as cool as his children was

He is 100% the type of father "don't tell your mother"

"Don't tell your mother we drank soda at dawn"

"Don't tell your mother we stayed up playing video games until 4 in the morning"

"Don't tell your mother I took you to Burger King after school"

Etc etc

I also can see you scolding your son and he saying "hey honey but he didn't do anything wrong" and you just look at him and automatically he turns around and says “VERY BAD KID THIS IS VERY VERY BAD”

What can he do???? He's the good cop

I think Hee would be the kind of father who would be very supportive of his children, especially if they want to pursue a career in music, but I think he would be very wise to tell his children that it's a very exhausting life and full of very complicated obstacles

His oldest son is definitely his best friend (he lives to make this boy feel proud of him)

His youngest son is his baby

As Heeseung is the youngest children in his family I think he sees himself in his baby boy so is that the reason why he’s always very emotional about the youngest

He wants to be the cool and laid-back father to his youngest son while he wants to be the loyal friend of his oldest

I can really imagine him taking his oldest son for a drive at night to clear his head

Speaking of cars, these 3 always go on a fishing trip every month IT'S A TRADITION

His youngest son doesn't like fishing that much but he loves spending time with his father and brother so he goes anyway🥹

His children always come back covered in mosquito bites because Heeseung always forgets his insect repellent home, but they come back smiling and happy so it doesn't matter.

Jay

Ok, let's go

Jay is a couple father, DOES EVERYONE AGREE?????

He has an older daughter, who he raised with all the love, affection, care and protection and will always take care of her because she is his princess.

And he has a younger son that is his best bro forever (maybe 6 years between the children?)

I imagine that his daughter must have been so jealous of her brother when he was born

I can see them at 16 and 10 years old, having a Disney Chanel sibling dynamic, who live to make each other's lives hell, are fighting 100% of the time but deep down love each other deeply

He and his youngest son are quite a duo

They have a garage band together🥹🫶🏼

Jay taught him to play guitar but the boy's passion is the drums

I imagine that he is much closer to his older daughter, but he doesn't know how to deal very well with his daughter growing up and no longer depending on him.

So he spends all the time he can with his youngest because when the youngest grows up it's over for him

Jay loves to keep his kids entertained so he would be up for anything

“Daddy, are we going to the Taylor Swift concert?”

“Sure, my love.”

“Daddy, can we go to the skate park?”

“We’ll leave in a few minutes, okay? Just let daddy finish this first”

Btw, he supports everything his children want to do

I swear his children have already taken every course and private lesson that exists on the earth

Jay will enroll them in and out of anything they want

Because he wants his children to be happy and he grew up with a family that gave him so much support that I believe he will do the same

Btw, the family tradition is take the childrens to see baseball games

In fact, Jay had a huge existential crisis when his daughter started not wanting to go to the games🥹

He started remembering her when she was little with a t-shirt and a cap that was too big for her, sitting on his shoulders and watching the game🥹🥹🥹🥹

Poor man, he collapsed

Jake

I imagine him being such a calm and relaxed father, you know?

I think he would be such a relaxed father.

His relationship with his children is based on trust, affection and love 100% of the time.

I don't think he smothers his children or wants to be with them 100% of the time.

Of course he is a present father, but I think he respects his children's time a lot.

But let’s go, he has 3 children.

2 older boys and a younger girl (about 2 years apart from each child?)

Oh, how this man was in heaven when these children were born.

Jake loves being a father, I think he considers it his favorite profession.

And he is simply so delicate with his children, his tone of voice is always soft and loving, he touches them as if they were made of porcelain.

He loves taking them to the park, riding his bike with them and stopping for ice cream afterwards, or taking them to the pool, spending the whole day at the water park and then stopping at the McDonald’s🥹🥹🥹🥹

God, he loves his little 4-year-old girl, he’s an idiot for her (she gets whatever she wants, he’s her personal butler)

You see him walking around with weird hairstyles and stickers on his face quite often (he’s a regular at the 4pm tea party with his daughter and her bunny every Wednesday)

But he’s so incredibly in love with his 8 and 6-year-old boys

I can imagine them playing with lots of Hot Wheels tracks lol (and Jake taking it so seriously)

They build a lot of Lego together too, God, his kids have BOXES AND BOXES of Lego of every possible and imaginable type

He’s the kind of father who dances with his daughter dressed as a prince and gives her flowers so she gets used to receiving love early on so he doesn’t worry about future relationships

At the same time, he’s an example of such a good man for your children

Your children are so in love with your relationship🥹♥️

I imagine the 3 of you being so close, they are brothers who truly love each other unconditionally because the only reference they have is love, love and more love♥️😭

Sunghoon

OKAY LISTEN…

Two girls

NOBODY WILL PROVE ME OTHERWISE

He has two girls who are about 3 years apart from each other

His oldest is like “🎀✨💕DADDYS GIRL💕✨🎀” and his youngest is more like “💋✨⛸️DADDYS GIRL⛸️✨💋” if you can understand me

Like the oldest is more “Daddy, can I use your card??? I need a new dress” and the youngest is more “Dad, I told you! You don’t have to buy me anything”

BTW

He is absolutely in love with them to an extreme level

They are his world, after they were born nothing else matters more to him than the happiness of his two little girls

He is a REALLY OVERPROTECTIVE FATHER

like really

He can’t be able to sleep if he knows that your girls are on a party or on a date

He just CAN’T

And you’re like “babe, cmon, let’s rest a little” and he will be like “I can’t sleep, y/d must call anytime”

Something he miss when the girls are little babies…

When they were little they cried for him to put them to sleep and sing to them😭♥️

And now his princess wanna buy short skirts and dance all night😭💔

His youngest really like to skating so they do it together sometimes

These two girls are the pinnacle of what a doting and protective father can do with a girl

But like I said he is protective

The day you came to him saying he was so cute like your oldest daughter had a boyfriend in kindergarten….

He went to the school to have a serious talk with a 5-year-old boy and his parents

Even today, more than 10 years later, he still has a grudge against the poor child who just held his little girl's hand

I can imagine your daughter going to say that she has something important to talk about and him saying "did you find out you're a lesbian and are you going to get rid of that idiot?😃"

and your daughter saying "no daddy" and he would reply with "are you absolutely sure you're not a lesbian?😃"

You think Jay would spoil his children but nothing is as good for the economy as Park Sunghoon, his daughters and his black card at the mall

You know that scene from Beverly Hills where the father asks what his daughter is wearing and she answers "Calvin Clain"

They have this energy

He takes them and picks them up from everywhere because he doesn't like his princesses to walk around alone and he doesn't want boys bringing home

Nothing in the world would break his heart more than seeing his daughters cry. He always makes a point of buying their favorite foods, giving them a cuddle and leaving a kiss on their heads when they are crying.

Now if it is because of some boy... God have mercy and may he not find out the address of that boy

Sunoo

He has two girls too, but they are twins.

He is over the moon with them.

Do you agree with me that they would wear matching outfits????😭😭😭😭

He knows ALL the Disney princess songs

ALL OF THEM.

He would be his daughters' best friend 100%. He gives his daughters a lot of space to talk to him about absolutely anything and everything, he is always very present and aware of everything that happens in the lives of his little gems.

One of them is really extroverted and shining just like him and the other is like “omg you two are making me feel embarrassed please stop”

But he is also very protective of them.

Not like Sunghoon, of course.

Dad Sunoo is like a mother lioness, he protects his children tooth and nail no matter what.

(Like the “PELA CRIANÇA EU DOU A MINHA VIDA GRAÇAS A DEUS!!!” meme)

If this man finds out that one of his daughters is being bullied at school... I feel so sorry for the principal of that institution because he will DESTROY her.

He also watches a lot of movies with his daughters, when he gets home from work and his girls have already come home from school, it's always the perfect time to order food and watch Korean dramas together

He would always be available for serious, intimate, or everyday conversations

I think he would be such an attentive father🥹🥹🥹 but at the same time he would have no patience at all

He seems to me like the kind of father who when his kid makes a fuss he leaves the child on the floor of the store crying, walks away and pretends he doesn't know her

I imagine him being very truly with his daughters too, like "are you going out like that? With those clothes???? No, you can't change that, it's not good, you're dressing like Sponge Bob"

He would be their safe place too

I can see him comforting them when they were crying about something, like them lying on his lap while he caresses them and says "it's okay, love, it'll pass, I already have your age too, it'll pass"

Jungwon

He has a son, a little boy

You are thinking about having another one, but he is always analyzing how you have such a comfortable life with only one child and that a second child would require you to give up some privileges, etc.

Obviously he would be up for more children if you wanted, he catches himself thinking about another baby often, but he always brings up this conversation at some point

But anyway, your little boy is around 5/6 years old????

I feel like Won is in a limbo between “being the cool dad” and “being the example of a responsible man that his son needs”

He demands a lot of himself as a father

whenever he gets home and sees that his son is already in bed sleeping and he didn't get him “good night kisses” he feels terrible😔😔😔 (I think you will have to reassure him several times a day that he is doing an excellent job)

I can imagine him like this:

“What's up, son? Boys' day today, huh? Let's go to the park, the movies, and then have ribs for dinner, what do you think????”

“What's up, buddy? How was school today?”

And your son LOOOOOOOVES HIM

Like that type of kids that say “MY DAD IS MY SUPERHERO” is really cute

Doesn’t help the fact that this kid has his father kitty bubble tea eyes😭✨

But he’s really shy when he’s not with you or Jungwon, like, your two are his best friends.

Jungwon is such a fun father🥹

Even if he comes home feeling sad, limping, anemic, fragile and inconsistent, he will take time to play with your son and this will charge his energy 100%.

Just like Jake, Won is the kind of father who lets his son do whatever he wants with him.

His son will stick stickers on his face, draw a mustache and a goatee with a marker, etc., etc., and he will stand there laughing at how cute his son is.

He loves taking naps with your son (he even went through a difficult time when your son stopped being afraid of sleeping alone and asked to sleep with you every night).

I think he would be such a responsible father. He would know how to say no to his child when necessary and would teach that there is a time and place for everything and that we should be polite and patient. 🥹♥️

Riki

Just like Won, I imagine that Kiki has 2 father skins: the fun-child father with a 4-year-old mentality and the extremely mature father who is aware of his activities as a father.

He fluctuates a lot between these two.

He is extremely responsible when it comes to his children, he can handle any situation on his own without any problems.

Btw, I can see him having a family just like his own (two girls and a middle boy🥹). They are like 10, 8 and 5 years old. 🥹🥹🥹

He and the older ones do so much messy together that I swear to God I don't know how your house is still standing.

They play a lot of running games until Kiki stops and says "Aaaaaah daddy's back isn't the same anymore."

Like I said, his older ones brought out his fun and agitated side, but his youngest is so calm and sweet that he can't be the childish father with her, he just wants to protect her from everything

(he also joins the team of daddys who let their little daughter do whatever she wants with him) this girl is almost always riding on her father's shoulders😭♥️

He is the biggest fan of his children, he is there for everything his children want to do

I can see his children so interested in his “idol” career and always with stars in their eyes when they see videos of enhypen's performances

But unlike Heeseung, I think Riki would be reluctant to let his children enter the world of stardom, especially young ones like him, I think he wouldn't want his children to go through as much as he did and he would be far away and imposing to do something...

His favorite pastime is taking his children to Disney, I swear to God they are at Tokyo Disney almost every weekend

I like to think he likes to hold his two oldest ones by the feet while his youngest is on his back and playing mechanical bull AJAKAKAKAKAKA

His kids feel so comfortable talking to him (he's not a very jealous dad either)

I also think that there’s moments that Riki just stops, look at his kids and says “wow” like “they’re real, I made them”

And I think he’s the “what your mom thinks about that?” Type of dad, like “bro, you know that mommy is the leader of this family go ask her”

[bella-goths-wife]

Hi :3, i am new in here and i'm a bit lose, ¿Why does Vox sees their pet like a substitute daughter 🥲?

Sorry if the question it's a bit dumb, but i genuinely don't understand that 🥲

Anyways, i hope you have a great and lovely day (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ (and sorry if i said something wrong, english it's not my first language)

No it’s okay, I’d love to explain it :D

Why does Vox see pet as a daughter

Warnings: mentions of miscarriage and pregnancy, obsessive behaviour, forced affection, forced paternal behaviour, just overall a complicated and sick dynamic, abuse mentions

This is just my story’s backstory for Vox since i can’t find a canon backstory

So we all know that vox is from the 1950s

And we know that most men from the 1950s had it built into them that it was their duty to continue the family name and legacy by marrying a nice girl and having a few kids

And I believe Vox would be a very big believer in legacy and having an heir to pass down his legacy to, since he was probably a big celebrity and quite wealthy

But during his time of being alive, he never had any children

He had an arranged marriage that was set up by his father, in which he married a woman he had never or would never love

But Vox wanted one thing from this marriage, one simple thing that he craved so heavily

A child

At first he was convinced he wanted a boy, someone who he could mold into being someone worthy of carrying on his last name

But then he realised something, having a son would only challenge Vox as the man of the house

What if his son became more than Vox or overpassed him?

Most fathers would be proud of their son achieved great things but the thought only made Vox seethe in jealousy that one day his legacy would be surpassed by something he created

But a daughter, she would be his to protect without the worry that she would ever overpass him

He wanted something he could own and protect, something to be part of his legacy but always staying below him

A daughter is what Vox wanted more than anything, a daughter that was strong enough to be given his last name but weak enough to need his protection

Of course he’d want a son or two to continue his last name, but a daughter is the only child he’d ever love

Sadly, he and his wife were unable to have children with his wife only being able to conceive and lose pregnancies

The furthest pregnancy that they got to was when his wife was six months pregnant before losing the baby

During the six months Vox fantasised about his child, his perfect girl who he would love more than anything

So when his wife lost the baby, he felt a part of himself lock away forever

The softer part of himself was pushed away to die

He threw himself into his work to distract himself from the loss of his child

He also threw himself into many criminal situations and made very bad decisions which would later land him a place in hell

Vox had already given up on the thought of having children during the living and finding out that sinners couldn’t conceive only pushed him further into the belief that having a daughter wasn’t in the cards for him

And then he met you

Granted when he met you he just assumed you were another scrawny sewer rat who had to steal and cheat just to afford some food

But you quickly changed his mind once you started working for him

Seeing your abilities progress and grow stronger was a magnificent sight for Vox, it was an achievement that he had coined for himself as your mentor

Combining your abilities was also an amazing feeling, to know that there was someone in hell who could only enhance his power made him feel like he could rule the underworld

You unlocked parts of him that he had long forgotten, a more forgiving and softer side

You were strong enough to protect yourself but also weak enough to need his protection

You were smart enough to keep up with Voxs conversations but also naive enough to manipulate to his wishes

You had a strong ability but not strong enough to survive outside of his providing, at least in his mind

You were young enough for him to be able to see as a child at 18, but also old enough for him to be able to exploit you and profit off of you

You were the perfect heir in his mind, the daughter he had always craved

So Vox would find himself being fatherly towards you and showing you fatherly affection, even if he ignored the way you tensed up at his touch

But parts of Vox hated this and denied his attachment to you

He wanted to smack himself for being weak and bending to his own obsessive cravings, but instead he smacks you instead to rid himself of feelings that could soften the sharp image he had created of himself

He craves your presence but despises the thought of you

But because he suppressed his fatherly feelings for you, they manifested into an abusive and obsessive addiction

He obsesses over every minuscule part of you and exposes it because he wants to know you but doesn’t want to get close enough for you to become a weakness to himself

Vox abuses you because he fears you most of all, he fears that the mere thought of you dating sends him into a blind rage or the thought of you getting hurt sends him into a deep panic

He wants to hold you close but parts of him want to smother you in his arms to make it so he doesn’t care for anyone anymore

So vox will always see you as a daughter in his mind no matter how much he tries to deny and suppress it

The only thing his denial does is make his feelings manifest into an abusive and obsessive relationship with you

He sees you as his daughter that he has always craved, and you see him as your abuser who will always be watching you

@hazbinhotelxreader @idontreallyexistyet @perkypeony @sparkleyfishies @buttercupfangirl @repostingmyfavs @lilyalone @the-faceless-bride @fandomaddict505 @corvid007 @rerarlo

[spacebubblehomebase]

My Official Hazbin Hotel Stargazers AU Masterpost!

Or the #HHStargazersAU Checklist + MORE!!!

But before all that, here's the general synopsis:

Charline is introducing her first ever girlfriend, Vaggie, to her circus running dad, Lucius Magne. But unbeknownst to them, Vaggie is hiding a big secret: She's Charlie's guardian angel! Tasked with setting her on the right path towards good, but to make things more complicated, the family's live-in hire, Alastor, is actually a demon that's been trying to tempt Charlie's dad to the opposite side! So how can this unlikely pair keep their respective truths hidden while mysteries start to unfold, how do they play house while playing tug-of-war for Heaven & Hell, and just HOW did they get in this situation in the first place? Well, one thing's for certain, family dinners will never be boring as feelings unravel and everything grand is yet to be revealed. So tune in~!

Or something like that...

So if this summary seems like your cup of tea and you happen to enjoy both Chaggie & Radioapple content, then hop on aboard! Because, let me tell you, the ride I've prepared is so convoluted, I wish I charge people for it, but it's FREE! Unfortunately, all updates usually depend on my schedule and plans for plot may always change. But this semi-serious story of mine follows a loose "artfic" format anyway. A term I use to mean: I write just as much as I draw. So this is both a fanart and a fanfic AU now basically. But everything for it can be found on Twitter, Insta, or Tumblr. I post just about almost the same things in each, so there's no need to look further for more! Though I won't protest if you ASK for more as in the end, this gigantic AU is just a personal project of mine and any support. Be it a little acknowledgement or a major gift of a comment goes a long way to fuel my motivation! Now that the sappy stuff is out of the way though, here's the links to my story and list of future posts that would be regularly updated anytime I remove or add something new!

Relevant Lore List:

Click title to be redirected to the post and some titles are [Redacted] for the sake of avoiding any spoilers...

-A New Day Will Dawn. ✅

-BONUS Interaction (& Ask). ✅

-Color Palette Reference. ✅

-Say My Name. ✅

-Divorce Aftermath (Ask). ✅

-Meet The Magnes. ✅

-The Stargazers. ✅

-Shadow Of His Light.

-His Pride.

-Her Joy.

-Close Calls.

-Surprise.

-The Dreamers.

-Phantom Pains.

-[Redacted] The [Redacted].

-[Redacted] That Day.

-A Cold Day In Hell.

-The Dancing Devil's Circus.

-Blossoming Feelings.

-False Start.

-The [Redacted, Redacted, Redacted].

-When A [Redacted, Redacted].

-The Last [Redacted] Lament.

-Moth To Her Flame.

-A Taste of Temptation.

-Better Than Never.

-Free Fall.

-HerStory.

-Wake Up Call.

-Seeds Of Doubt.

-Mother Knows Best.

-Fuck You, [Redacted].

-Juliet Is The Sun.

-With Tax Benefits.

-Dawn Of A New Day.

-The First Stage.

-Reprise Reveal.

-A Third [Redacted].

-The Show Must Go On.

+++++++++++++++

Related Posts:

((Asks are answered in between updates, but due to the amount of them, I unfortunately may still miss some. But rest assured I do read them! I just can't get to everyone. TvT Very much appreciate them though!))

-AU Idea Announcement.

-Magnes Are Humans (Asks).

-AU Name Explanation (Asks).

-Author Is Delulu.

-Excited To Spoil (Asks).

-Human Carmilla Carmine.

-Radioapple Dynamic (Asks).

-Alastor's Eyes (Asks).

-Questions About Lilith (Asks).

-Outdated Sneak Peek (Asks).

-Stimming Radioapple (Asks).

-Cryprid Alastor (Asks).

-Flavor Of The AU (Asks).

-Magne Discussion (Asks).

-Artist With Chaggie (Asks).

-Hug Alastor Request (Asks).

-Vaggie UwU (Asks).

-Yep. Still doing the AU (Asks).

-Alastor's Voodoo (Asks).

-Radio Signals (Asks).

-Masterpost Suggestion (Asks).

-Future Animatic Announcement!

-Dynamics & SPOILERS!!! (Asks).

-BONUS Vaggie's "dad" (Asks).

-Radioapple + Art Advice (Asks).

-ALAKAZAM!!! (Asks).

-Update about updates (Asks).

+++++++++++++++

Other Account Links:

((Just in case you want to experience my story somewhere else you're more comfortable with!))

For Twitter Account, click this sentence!

For Instagram Account, click this sentence!

((Note: I advice y'all to keep on checking the original masterpost on my page and see if it's updated as it may not show the new changes in reblogs. Thanks for reading!))

-Bubbly💙

[riewritten]

in my head nothing absolutely bad happens in monster anime and they’re actually triplets in a family sitcom somewhere

more headcanons under the cut ✂️

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

༘⋆ FOR CONTEXT

no child experiments. no kinderheim 511. their birth sequence would be Johan first, Anna second, and Nina the youngest. it doesn't actually materialize that much in their dynamics (given they're triplets) except that these two oldest are oooooover overprotective of nina. mama vera was forced to labor the three of them prematurely out of stress upon receiving the news of her husband's death. her brother-in-law, klaus poppe, who had helped vera with the kids after the hubby's death, tried to pursue her not long after. and not only that, klaus also tried to lure anna into this silly lil experiment about children which he claimed was for 'work' at the red rose mansion all the while their mother was out. vera almost killed the man when baby johan exposed him while crying. this event led vera to cut ties with the poppe family and valiantly raised her triplets on her own. vera wasn't able to squeeze any info out of anna (on what poppe had done to her specifically while she was out). worried that she might be traumatized, vera got her into therapy. in the end, only johan and anna knew of it, and whatever happened sure left wounds deep inside anna's heart.

SO, that said!

-ˋˏ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ANNA

would be sooooo villanelle-coded (minus the psychopathy of course). like she is the Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss but at the same time she could also be the Female Rage™️. i am absolutely whipped at the thought that she'd have a complicated relationship with johan despite being inseparable during childhood because she's astute enough to know the real him, without filter whatsoever, and she could notice things the naive nina couldn't. no, johan didn't have to be a murderer in this universe for anna to hate him, he just got The Attitude that anna despises. it's jus the typical sibling fight though no worries. it's like there's this modern family-esque interview segments of them talking shit about each other every episode (little do they know, if a war ever breaks, they would absolutely sacrifice themselves to save each other — of course after ensuring their youngest sister's safety first and foremost).

in @suusoh 's head which i claim to be the same as mine because susu is rie and rie is susu, anna is as queer as she could be. and, in my silly lil daydreams, she actually labeled herself queer for clout bc she wanna rebel against societal standards only for it to end up the truest thing she had ever said about herself years later. on top of that, she actually envies her twin brother for having a dick like oh my god girl what the hell is wrong with you. ironically, she tends to be an absolute man-hater sometimes (depends on her mood). she could be a little impulsive, too, especially when she reached the rebellious age. boyfriends here, girlfriends there, and out of curiosity she even tried polygamy that's absolutely not her thing but she did anyway to annoy her conservative christian stepfather.

there's this only moment anna had accepted johan's attitude, remorsefully so, and thats when some girl tried to maul nina at uni (thank god she's good at judo) after mistaking her as anna ㅜㅜ this stranger apparently had her boyfriend stolen by anna during one of her impulsive moments (jesus christ). nina assured them it was all good after anna cried. but johan was absolutely pissed, and anna had a hard time forgiving herself for putting her loveliest babiest angel of a sister in danger bc of her shenanigans.

-ˋˏ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ JOHAN

who is he, indeed, if red rose mansion wasn't that traumatic and kinderheim 511 never existed ? it's also hard to imagine for me, tbh, it's just that i think he'd be a chill lil guy who lives in his own head. nina has a hard time managing countless of confessions from different people in the campus—you see, anna is too wild to approach, johan is too absent-minded to care, and nina is the most amicable of them three. when nina opens her locker she'd expect a bunch of love letters addressed to three people: anna, johan, and then herself. majority of them is addressed to johan, tho.

if anna takes pride in her beauty and charisma while nina takes pride in her congeniality and physical prowess, johan keeps up with his brains. he is constantly the school's top one. he gets sent to other campuses for academic competitions. and back in highschool, a faculty even offered vera to have him accelerated due to his intelligence. johan denied the opportunity because he likes the fact that he's on the same grade level as his twin sisters. they have this sort of bonding where they do homeworks together as soon as they reach home. how would he do that if he's accelerated to a higher grade level? who would help nina manage anna's wild tendencies at school? who would help anna keep up with her acads if nina's too busy with her extracurricular activities?

vera is quite concerned johan is having a hard time connecting with people, but little does she know, her lil boy just doesn't want to. socializing is a chore the same way studying is. unless he has an ulterior motive, he chooses to stay at the corner with his books (boo. bummer. a nerd.)

-ˋˏ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ NINA

is their cute lil baby! she's everyone's favorite. i think her personality in canon monster (before her 20th bday) is pretty much the same in this one, except that it's more chaotic in her house because she has two sibs trying to kill each other here and there. if not for her extracurricular activities and side jobs (which johan and anna tirelessly demanded her to quit so she could have a rest, only to no avail because nina is the angel who wants to help), i think her academic excellence would be in par with johan's. she also has a lot of friends—that's the reason why johan and anna are protective of her. she could indeed defend herself physically, but she's too kind and naive for her own good it annoys the two. if someone makes her cry, they doubt nina would even put them in their place physically or emotionally because she is just that kind—that's when johan and anna enters behind her back. they could be sneaky little vengeful devils if need be for nina. maybe they got it from uncle klaus.

-ˋˏ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ☆ ༘⋆

cutting this before it gets longer lol. thank u for reading! i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did lmao. i had sooo much fan imagining and drawing them this way 🤭

[robinsfilm]

Peccatores

Masterlist. Navigation.

Summary: In which two confused individuals try to pick up the pieces of themselves slowly, but together.

Pairing: Jason Todd x GN!Reader

Warnings: Gore, blood, description of harm and injury, panic attacks, manipulative behaviour, angst, fighting, explosions, don't worry theres fluff, reader has a life outside of jason, paramedic!reader, imposter syndrome, complicated family dynamics (not only the bat fam).

Notes: Hello to all of you lovely people! Again, thank you for your support for giving me the final push to finally post this. I am looking for advice to improve my writing so I would appreciate your feedback. This first post includes the prologue and chapter 01. In this first part you'll see about four original characters and reader: The unknown man in the prologue, Eden, Chief Rösli and Lorian. In two or three days I will post chapter 02 (you'll be seeing Jason in chapter 02). Chaper 03 was just written. (Meet cute! As cute as him bleeding out in your apartment is). Have fun reading!

Word count: 3.5k.

Dark blue sky, no stars, dark red blood turning bright. A quiet night, only the sound of squelching flesh and blood echoes. Does blood always stain this much? Last time it was already hard to clean out. It doesn't matter anymore. He directs his attention to something else.

Actually, someone else. Their cries go deaf on his ears. It's a job, a dirty one, yes, but a job. Something about a leak. Someone wavering in their loyalty. He just needs to tie the loose ends.

There was no loyalty here, anyway.

He hears a whisper, "P—please, I made a mistake!" They grab at his feet, "a mistake... a stupid, stupid mistake!" They look up at him, face scratched, eyes red, fingers bleeding, nails gone.

He looks down, thinking how feeble life is. How unfortunate.

But this is just a job.

He pulls the trigger.

The silence that follows is thick, almost tangible, a stark contrast to the earlier desperate pleas. The dark alley, hidden away from the bustling city, absorbs the last echoes of life. He watches for a moment, making sure there’s no movement, no final breath escaping. Satisfied, he holsters his weapon, his mind already moving on to the next task.

The city lights flicker in the distance, a reminder of the world that continues on, oblivious to the darkness that festers in its hidden corners. He walks away, blending into the shadows, just another faceless figure in the labyrinth of Gotham.

The night is still young, and the list of tasks is long. As he moves through the deserted streets, the weight of his actions settles in, not as guilt, but as a reminder of the grim reality he has chosen. This life, this path, is not for the faint of heart.

In the back of his mind, a thought lingers. It’s not about loyalty or betrayal. It’s about survival. And in Gotham, survival often comes at the cost of one's humanity.

He heads toward the dilapidated building that has served as his temporary headquarters. It stands as a relic of a bygone era, once majestic but now crumbling under the weight of neglect and time. The windows, shattered and covered in grime, offer no glimpse of the inside. The door, barely hanging on its hinges, creaks ominously as he pushes it open.

Inside, the air is cold, a biting chill that seeps into his bones. The walls are adorned with peeling paint, revealing layers of forgotten history. Dust hangs heavy in the air, disturbed only by his presence. He takes a deep breath, the musty scent filling his lungs, grounding him in the stark reality of his surroundings.

The building’s interior is a maze of rooms and corridors, each more decrepit than the last. Faded photographs and torn posters cling to the walls, remnants of lives once lived. The floorboards creak under his weight, threatening to give way with each step. He moves cautiously, the dim light from his flashlight casting eerie shadows that dance along the walls.

In one of the rooms, he finds a broken mirror, its fractured surface reflecting a distorted version of himself. He stares at the reflection, seeing not just his physical appearance but the person he has become. The coldness in his eyes, the hardness etched into his features. He barely recognizes the man staring back at him.

The sound of distant sirens pierces the silence, a reminder of the world outside. He turns away from the mirror, refocusing on the task at hand. He needs to gather his thoughts, plan his next move. The job is far from over, and any lapse in concentration could be fatal.

As he navigates through the building, he thinks about the person he just left behind. The panic in their eyes, the desperation in their voice. He had seen it all before, countless times. Each encounter blending into the next, a never-ending cycle of fear and resignation. It was always the same, yet somehow, it never got any easier.

He enters a room that appears to have once been an office. An old desk, covered in dust and cobwebs, sits in the center. Papers are strewn across the floor, their contents long faded and illegible. He pulls out a chair and sits down, the wood groaning in protest. For a moment, he allows himself to relax, to let the tension drain from his body.

The cold seeps deeper into his bones, and he wraps his coat tighter around himself. He thinks about the warmth of a fire, the comfort of a safe home. Luxuries he can no longer afford. His life is one of constant motion, never staying in one place for too long. Always looking over his shoulder, always ready to move at a moment’s notice.

His thoughts drift back to the cries he had heard earlier. The sheer panic in their voice. The way they had clung to his feet, begging for mercy. He knows he should feel something–remorse, guilt, maybe even pity. But there’s nothing. Just a hollow emptiness, a void where emotions used to be.

The job has changed him. Hardened him. He’s seen too much, done too much. There’s no going back now. He has accepted his fate, embraced the darkness that has become his life. And yet, a small part of him still yearns for something more. A glimmer of hope in the midst of the chaos.

But hope is a dangerous thing in his line of work. It makes you vulnerable, weak. And weakness is something he cannot afford. Not in Gotham.

He pushes the thoughts aside, forcing himself to focus. There are more tasks to complete, more loose ends to tie up. He cannot afford to dwell on what-ifs and maybes. His survival depends on his ability to stay sharp, to remain detached.

The wind howls outside, rattling the broken windows. He glances toward the sound, seeing the darkness beyond. The night is unforgiving, much like the city itself. A constant battle for control, for power. And he is just a pawn in a much larger game.

He rises from the chair, the cold air biting at his exposed skin. He needs to move, to stay active. The building offers little in the way of comfort, but it provides shelter, a temporary reprieve from the harsh realities outside.

As he makes his way through the corridors, he hears a faint noise. A soft, almost imperceptible sound. He stops, listening intently. The sound grows louder, more distinct. Footsteps. Someone else is here.

His hand moves instinctively to his weapon, his body tensing. He presses himself against the wall, blending into the shadows. The footsteps draw nearer, echoing through the empty halls. He waits, his breath shallow, every sense on high alert.

The figure comes into view, a silhouette against the dim light. They move cautiously, their head turning from side to side as if searching for something—or someone. He watches, waiting for the right moment to reveal himself.

As they draw closer, he steps out from the shadows, his weapon aimed. “Stop right there,” he commands, his voice low and steady. The figure freezes, their hands raised in a gesture of surrender.

They're a child. Blonde hair a mess on his head, clothes dirty and layered on him to keep out the cold.

“I’m not 'ere to cause trouble,” he says, his voice trembling. “I 'ust... I need help.”

He studies the kid, taking in his appearance. Disheveled, their clothes torn and dirty. There’s a look of desperation in the kids eyes, a familiar sight. He lowers his weapon slightly, still wary but willing to listen.

“What do you want?” he asks, keeping his tone neutral.

“Shelter,” The kid replies, his voice cracking. “'ust for the night. Please.” The accent seeps out of his voice. The childs green eyes dart around the room, ready to run if that's what it takes to keep himself alive.

He considers the request, weighing the risks. The building is a temporary refuge, not a safe haven. Allowing someone else in could compromise his own safety. But there’s something in their eyes, a flicker of vulnerability that tugs at a long-buried part of him. The child reminds him of someone.

“Fine,” he says finally. “You can stay. But don’t try anything. Understand?”

The child nods quickly, relief washing over his freckled face. “Thank you,” they whisper.

He gestures for them to follow, leading them to a small, relatively intact room. “You can stay here,” he says. “But remember, I’m watching you.”

He doesn't know if he should laugh or curse himself. There should be no mercy in this job. But he keeps contradicting himself. Every step, he holds out that feeble hope.

They nod again, settling down on the floor, grateful for the small mercy. He watches them for a moment longer, then turns away, his mind already shifting back to the tasks at hand.

The night is long, and there is much to do. But for now, in this cold, abandoned building, there is a brief moment of respite. A small spark of humanity in a world consumed by darkness.

*****

The alarm stopped ringing about an hour ago. It was a cloudy day with no sun—typical for Gotham. You opened the window to let some fresh air in as you leaned against the kitchen counter. The coffee grew colder with every passing second.

You couldn't help but feel anxious about today. You should be excited. You scored this job. You earned it. Yet the feelings of unease clung to you, tasting like rot in your mouth and taking root on your tongue.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the television. It was the news, Gotham News Channel - 08:00 AM Edition. A woman in her thirties looked over the paper in front of her before she gathered the courage to speak.

"Good morning. I'm Eliza Vádas, and this is Gotham News. Our top story today involves a chilling discovery in an abandoned building in the heart of the city." She tore her gaze away from the papers.

She took a breath before continuing, "Authorities are currently investigating the scene of a brutal crime at an old, dilapidated warehouse on the outskirts of downtown. The building, long known for its derelict state, became the focal point of a shocking police investigation early this morning."

"Reports indicate that the victim, whose identity has not yet been released, was found under disturbing circumstances. Sources close to the investigation confirm that the scene was one of extreme violence, with signs of a struggle and evidence suggesting a prolonged and harrowing ordeal. Victim was found with torn fingernails and broken rips among other injuries." My god.

You could say typical Gotham, but that never succeeded in pushing down the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach every time you heard news like this. It traveled up, reaching your throat and gripping it tightly. You felt like you were going to throw up.

"Police are tight-lipped about the details of the investigation," Of course they are. "–but have assured the public that they are pursuing all leads." Of course they have. "They are urging anyone with information to come forward as they work to piece together the events leading up to this incident."

"This tragic event adds to Gotham's growing list of unsolved mysteries and raises concerns about safety in our city's neglected corners. We'll keep you updated as more information becomes available."

You could see it in her eyes. She was used to this. Gore, murder, death, missing people, and never-ending bodies to add to the list of other horrid things taking place in this godforsaken city.

The coffee had gone cold. Good job, you thought to yourself. What a way to start the morning. You should be getting to work. That shift isn't going to cover itself.

As you wallowed in your thoughts, you spotted vibrant colors in the corner of your eyes. Tango squawks, and Mango follows suit. They are loud, but what did you expect? The vet did say sun conures are quite vocal and come with colorful personalities. Right now, they were eating. Cute.

You gathered your things. Hair first, jacket next, then onto the shoes and grabbing the bag. A well-practiced routine. Never changing. You were used to it.

Stepping out of the apartment building, you felt the chilly air hit your face. Thank God for the jacket, you thought, making a mental note. You got into your car and started heading for the fire station. Working as a part-time paramedic was no easy job, but you enjoyed it. The people, the environment—it was good. As good as it could be.

As you approached the fire station, the building loomed ahead, a sturdy relic of Gotham's past. The red brick facade, though weathered by time, stood strong and unyielding. Large, arched garage doors, painted a vibrant red, contrasted sharply against the gray sky. The station's name, "Fire Station 21," was emblazoned in bold, white letters above the doors, a beacon of safety and service.

To the side, a tall, narrow tower rose, used for training and drying hoses, its silhouette cutting through the overcast sky. The building's windows, framed in dark metal, were clean but hinted at the wear and tear of years of service. A small, neatly kept lawn with a few hardy shrubs and flowers added a touch of color to the otherwise utilitarian structure.

You pulled into the small parking lot, the gravel crunching under your tires. As you stepped out of the car, the chill in the air made you pull your jacket tighter around you. The familiar scent of smoke and faint traces of engine oil filled your nostrils, mixing with the crisp morning air.

Taking a deep breath, you walked towards the entrance, your footsteps echoing softly against the concrete path. As you reached for the door handle, you couldn't help but feel a mix of nerves and anticipation. The building, solid and dependable, seemed to mirror your resolve. You were ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, or that's what you told yourself.

First, check in. As you step in, you can already hear Eden's voice, elegant but firm. You look around before you spot her curly brown hair.

"Eden, what's got you so worked up?" you questioned, hearing people getting out of briefings, talking, and catching up.

She turned to you, her face softening before she continued. "We unfortunately have a few problems with the paperwork. Documents got mixed up and now they've ended up here." She gestured to the small pile of paper she was holding.

Her brown eyes found the archive room, gesturing to it. "There's even more to organize. It's medical records, so we are the only ones on the job." Being the only two paramedics on the job, there was alot of work on both of your shoulders.

You couldn't figure out how to react to that. Happy because that is all you have to do, or disappointed because there's nothing else to do. You sighed before replying.

"I'll get to it. You go take a break. You're always early," you said with a small grin. Eden's always working. Her sienna-colored fingers crossed over her stack of papers before giving you a thankful nod.

Eden sighs, looking at you. "Do not hesitate to ask me to join you. I am more than ready to help. It is my job after all." she answered, giving you a rare smile.

"No, no. Absolutely not! You always do this. Work and work and no breaks." You narrow your eyes at her. "C'mon, leave this to me. I'm grown, I can handle it."

She chuckles, "Of course, so mature and grown. What would I do without you?" She teases. "I'll get going then. Chief Rösli needs me."

You give her a wave and turn towards the archives room.

The archives room was a hidden gem within the fire station, tucked away at the end of a dimly lit hallway. As you pushed open the heavy wooden door, a faint creak echoed in the quiet space. The air inside was cool and slightly musty, filled with the scent of old paper and leather bindings.

Rows of tall, metal shelving units stretched from floor to ceiling, each shelf packed with meticulously organized boxes, binders, and folders. The shelves were labeled with faded, handwritten tags, indicating the years and types of records stored within. Some shelves held large, leather-bound logbooks, their spines cracked and worn from years of handling. Others were filled with neatly stacked boxes, each containing a treasure trove of documents.

At the far end of the room, a long wooden table stood under a single overhead light, casting a warm, yellow glow. The table was cluttered with various files, maps, and old photographs, remnants of past research projects and investigations. A few chairs, their cushions faded and threadbare, surrounded the table, inviting anyone who needed to delve into the past.

Against one wall, a row of filing cabinets stood sentinel, their metal surfaces cool to the touch. Each drawer was labeled with precise detail, cataloging the contents within. The cabinets contained a mix of official reports, personnel records, and incident logs, all carefully preserved for future reference.

In one corner of the room, a small desk with an old computer and a vintage typewriter sat side by side, bridging the gap between the past and present. The computer was used for digital records, while the typewriter bore the weight of history, a reminder of how things were once documented.

Soft light filtered through a single, narrow window high on the wall, casting long shadows across the room. The window, partially obscured by dust and cobwebs, provided a view of the outside world—a stark contrast to the timeless atmosphere within the archives.

The walls were lined with framed photographs and newspaper clippings, each telling a story of the station’s history. Faces of firefighters from decades past stared out from sepia-toned images, their expressions stoic and proud. Yellowed newspaper articles recounted heroic rescues, devastating fires, and moments of triumph and tragedy.

As you moved through the room, the faint rustle of paper and the occasional squeak of a drawer were the only sounds. The papers that needed to be looked through were on the table.

Time to get to work.

The medical files were... well, just medical files.

Patient: Ravi Patel

Incident Date: June 14, 2023

Description: Patient was involved in a multi-vehicle collision on the Gotham Parkway. Sustained a broken left femur, multiple lacerations, and a concussion. Initial treatment included stabilizing the leg with a splint, controlling bleeding, and administering pain relief. Patient was transported to Gotham General Hospital for further treatment and surgery.

Patient: Jody Chastain

Incident Date: July 5, 2023

Description: Patient suffered from severe anaphylactic shock after exposure to peanuts at a local restaurant. Immediate administration of epinephrine and oxygen therapy provided on-site. Patient’s condition stabilized before being transported to Gotham Medical Center for observation and further care.

One file did catch your eye.

Patient Name: ///////////////

Incident Date: July 24, 2022

Location: Abandoned Warehouse, East Gotham

Description: Patient found with severe injuries consistent with violent assault. Evidence of a prolonged struggle.

Injuries:

Lacerations: Deep cuts on torso and limbs.

Facial Trauma: Bruising, swelling, cuts on face.

Fingernail Damage: Torn fingernails.

Fractures: Broken fingers, possible rib fractures.

Contusions: Bruises on chest, abdomen, back.

Shock: Rapid heartbeat, low blood.

Initial Treatment:

Stabilization: Secured airway, administered oxygen, started IV fluids.

Wound Care: Applied sterile dressings.

Pain Management: Administered analgesics.

Immobilization: Splinted fractures.

Transport: Taken to Gotham General Hospital for emergency treatment.

Notes: Patient regained consciousness en route. Showed signs of distress and disorientation. Immediate surgery required.

Follow-Up: Admitted to ICU for monitoring and recovery. Further imaging scheduled. Psychological evaluation recommended.

Talk about déjà vu. Isn't this just like that crime from the news? What is something like this doing here? Shouldn't this be with the police? Similar place, similar injuries..

As you ponder over the file, the door opens. You tear your eyes away from it to look at the intruder. One of your colleagues, obviously. Who else would it be?

"Lorian, there's a thing called knocking, you know. You scared me," you say, giving him a light chuckle. Lorian runs his hand through his blonde locks, his green eyes darting around the room before landing on you, and then the record in your hands. His freckled face filled with unease.

He straightens his posture, his voice soft and low. "The chief needs that," he says, gesturing to the paper.

You look at him, confusion furrowing your brow. "Why does Chief Rösli want this? It’s just a medical record.

Lorian hesitates for a moment, his gaze shifting uncomfortably. "I'm not sure. I was just asked to retrieve it. It’s not really my place to question, you know? But it seems urgent."

You nod, a bit reluctant. "Alright, I'll hand it over." Chief Rösli is his father. Alot of people say that's the only reason Lorian got the job. Your opinion is a bit different. Yes, he's a bit aloof and distant, but he does his job brilliantly.

You carefully place the file into his hands. Lorian gives you a quick, appreciative nod before turning and leaving the room.

As the door closes behind him, the room is swallowed by a heavy silence. You stand there, the dim light casting long shadows on the walls, your mind racing with questions. Why would the chief need this particular record? What connection does it have to the crime from the news? Why send his son to retrieve it? Maybe you're overthinking it.

It's just a medical record.

You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. The archive room, once a comforting haven, now feels oppressive, filled with unanswered questions and unsettling parallels. You take a deep breath and gather yourself, preparing to face whatever comes next.

With a final glance at the room’s cluttered serenity, you turn off the light and make your way out, leaving behind the mysteries of the archives room and the unsettling echoes of the morning’s news.

© ROBINSFILM ﹕ I do not give consent for my writing to be posted or used on any other platforms without my permission and proper credit.

[krirebr]

I Know I Should Know Better 2

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Female Reader, minor Colin Shea x Female Reader

Word Count: 5418

Summary: Curtis has been working as your body guard for almost two years now. Standing by and watching you work and party your life away is becoming more and more difficult, but is there anything he can do about it?

Warnings: Angst, adult themes, complicated power dynamics, minor age difference (not explicit in this part, but reader is mid-twenties and Curtis is early thirties), drinking, explicit language, bad boyfriend, self-destructive behavior, anxiety, negative self-talk. The reader's having a bad time, you guys. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: We're back! I so enjoyed writing this part. I hope you like reading it! Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you thought will be greatly appreciated. As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

You were stretched out on one of your lounge chairs by the pool, sunglasses perched on your head, wearing a bikini with a sheer coverup draped over your shoulders and an aperol spritz in your hand as you tried, for the third time, to get through this script.  It was unbelievably dull. And the female lead was barely a person. You were clearly wrong for it. At least ten years too young, for a start. But your agent, Wilford, was insistent that you read it. Some up and coming guy was attached to it and apparently, he could be ‘talked into you’ for it. And as Wilford always said, “It’s not what it is, it’s what it represents.” So you would read it. And you’d tell him why you didn’t like it, and he’d talk you into it anyway. Same as it ever was.

  You heard the door to the patio open and close. Michelle and Curtis had both been out doing who knows what and now you figured one of them was back and needed something from you. You’d been grateful to have the time on your own after a few days of Curtis’s careful glances. You didn’t remember exactly what you’d said or done after your fight with Colin outside the club, but you woke up with the feeling that you’d said something to Curtis and the way he’d watched you since seemed to confirm it. But he hadn’t said anything, so you hoped that you hadn’t embarrassed either of you too much.

When you looked up, it wasn’t either Curtis or Michelle who was standing on your deck.

“Mom!” you said. You blamed your shock for the fact that the next words out of your mouth were “Who let you in?” She was supposed to go through Michelle if she was going to visit, give a few days notice, let you prepare yourself.

“Who let me in?” she asked, aghast, her Chanel bag swaying aggressively from her arm. “That’s how you greet your mother? Who let me in?”

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice small. You were not prepared for this today. “I was just surprised.”

“Yeah, I bet you were,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You and your rules. Well, if you must know, it was the young man with the goatee and muscles. I don’t think I’ve seen him before. He’s not nearly as rude as the other people that work for you.”

“He’s new on my security team. His name’s Jensen.”

She waved dismissively at that. Of course she wouldn’t be bothered to remember. She sat down on the lounge chair next to yours and fanned her long, floral caftan out around her. “I bet you don’t give your father this runaround.”

Your father only ever called you on your birthday and at Christmas, content to live with his new family in Utah and only drop your name when it could get him something. So technically no, you never gave him the runaround.

“Well, how are you darling?”

“Um,” you bit your lip. Conversations with your mother always felt like a game you didn’t know the rules to. “Fine, I guess.”

She hummed in affirmation. “You’ve been all over the gossip sites.”

You groaned. “You shouldn’t look at those. It’s all bullshit.”

“Well, maybe if my daughter called me occasionally, I wouldn’t have to resort to a google alert to see how she’s doing. People on deux moi are saying you’re rude to your fans. And then there are reports of you fighting in clubs with your boyfriend.”

You shrunk in on yourself. Michelle did her best to keep all that away from you, but you still knew how people talked about you. “I told you. It’s all bullshit,” you mumbled.

“Well, it’s not the sort of reputation you want to have.”

“I know,” you said weakly. 

“Whatever happened to that other boy you were seeing? What was his name? Jimmy? With the snowboard? I liked him”

“Johnny? I haven’t talked to him in, like, a year,” you said. She’d only met him in passing when you’d unexpectedly run into her at a restaurant opening. It’d been right in the middle of the one month you’d dated him.

Your mom scoffed. “Well, who can be expected to keep up, with how quickly you go through them?”    

You clenched your fists where they rested on your thighs. This was just how she was. Feeling hurt by her never did any good. “Why are you here, Mom? Do you need something?”

“I’m here because I am your mother and I want to have a relationship with you, even though you don’t seem to want one with me. But,” she paused and you fought the sinking feeling in your stomach, “now that you mention it, Luka and I are going to France next week and what you’ve given me for the month just isn’t going to cover it.”

You closed your eyes for a moment. Of course this was about her allowance. “Mom,” you said, focusing on the part of her request that didn’t have anything to do with your money, “who is Luka?”

Her face went hard. “You would know who he is,” she said, “if you ever listened to me. You’ve always been so self-absorbed, you know that? You never think about anyone else.”

Your hand moved to grip the chair beneath you as you tried to take a deep breath. You were sure she’d never mentioned him before. You would remember. For all she gave you a hard time about dating around, she was just as bad, if not worse. The only difference was that her hookups didn’t get reported on. But you didn’t have the energy for the screaming match this would devolve into if you pointed that out, so you just said, “I’m sorry. I must have forgotten.”

“Sure,” she scoffed. “He’s someone who’s very important to me. And so is this trip.”

“You know I don’t control any of that. You have to go through my accountant.”

“Yes, I know,” she said, frustration bubbling over. “I already called him, obviously. He said you have to sign off on it first. It’s like you all think I enjoy having to come here and ask for money. When it was my hard work that got you all this.”

She loved to do this, bring that up. And you knew that she’d worked hard and sacrificed a lot. You did. She was the one who got you an agent and drove you to auditions and acting coaches and put your team together. But both your parents acted like you were just a doll that they’d placed in front of the cameras and then pulled your string to make you talk. You’d worked hard too and you were just a kid when you did it.

But, again, if you said any of that it would just start a fight and if you’d learned anything on all those sets as a child, it was that fights with your parents were to be avoided at all costs. You would never win. So you just said, “I know, mom. I know everything you’ve done for me. I’ll call him and tell him it’s fine.”

She started to brighten. “Today? You’ll do it today?”

“Yeah, I’ll do it today.”

She patted your knee and smiled warmly at you. You did your best to pretend that it didn’t feel like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. “You’re such a dear,” she said. “We’re trying to get everything booked, so time is of the essence! Text me the name of the place you stayed last time you were in Paris. Your pictures were incredible!” She was getting up now, hoisting her bag back up her arm.

“Are you leaving?” you asked, disappointed despite yourself. 

“I’m so busy, honey, So much to do! But let me know as soon as you talk to him. And we’ll have dinner as soon as I get back, you, me and Luka! And you can bring your boy too! I want to try that new sushi place, down on Vine? They’re booked out for months, but I’m sure they’ll have a table for you!” Just as she was getting to the door back into the house, Curtis came out of it. He stepped out in front of her, narrowing his eyes, and pulling himself up to his full height. “Perfect timing,” she muttered, “your guard dog is here.”

“Mom,” you sighed.

She just rolled her eyes at you. “Calm down, it’s fine. He knows I’m joking. Don’t you, Carter?” You grimaced, but Curtis didn’t react.

“Ma’am,” he said, without any inflection at all. You could see her bristle at the address; she hated anything that reminded her that she was old enough to have an adult daughter. But she didn’t say anything else, just gave you one final wave and then moved past him into the house.

You took a deep breath, and then another, wrapping your cover up around yourself as tightly as you could. “Are you ok?” Curtis asked, startling you. He was closer now than you’d realized, standing right beside you. You’d never understand how a man that large could sneak up on you like that, but you were always surprised by the reality of him.

You shook your head and his brow furrowed. You shook it again, “No, I’m fine. I’m fine, it’s just–” you trailed off and shrugged. She always left you so jumbled. “It was fine.”

“It shouldn’t have happened,” he said, sounding deathly serious. “Jensen’s been talked to. He knows better now. It won’t happen again, not without Michelle’s say so.”

You nodded and picked at your sleeve. “Do you think I’m awful?”

“Why would I think that?” he asked, his voice so soft.

You shrugged. “She’s my mom and I make her jump through all these hoops just to see me.”

He nodded slowly and stared out over your pool. “I think,” he started, but then paused for a moment. “I think that you aren’t the kind of person who would just do that for the sake of it. I can’t imagine you ever being that spiteful. If this is something you need, then there’s a reason for it.”

He did that sometimes, made statements about your character that left you reeling, that made you wonder about the person he saw when he looked at you. It always seemed so different from the person you saw in the mirror. 

You looked up at him, but he was still focused somewhere on the horizon. You were struck by how beautiful he was, as the sun shone down on him. His broad form, immaculate stubble, long lashes. You tried to think of him as just the wall of muscles that protected you from the world, but it was getting harder every day to ignore the ineffable Curtis-ness of him. He was so much, too much.

“What’d she want?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Money, like always.”

“You ever think about saying no?”

You shook your head. “She’s not wrong when she says she sacrificed a lot and worked hard to get me here. She did. I wouldn’t be here without her. If this is what she wants from me,” you shrugged, “I feel like I should give it to her.” 

He hummed at that and went quiet again. You looked down, went back to picking at the thread on your sleeve. After several moments, he said, “I think if you looked at all the sacrifices you made to get yourself here, and everything you’ve already done for her, you might see that you come out more even than you expect.” He finally looked back at you and nodded to himself. “I’ll leave you alone now. I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

As he walked back into the house, you felt like your skin was too tight. You tried to shake it off and grabbed your phone. It was too quiet. You needed something to distract you. You pulled up Colin’s contact and sent a quick I want to see you text. Then you threw your phone on the lounger, shrugged off your cover-up, and dove head first into the pool.

When Colin showed up a few hours later, he was on you immediately, pulling you out of the pool and back over to the lounge chair where he settle you between his legs. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he breathed into your chest as he laid back, bring you with him. When you resisted, he sat up, pushing his face into your neck and starting to trail kisses along your collar bone.

“Colin, it’s been a weird day,” you said, trying to push him down. Instead of backing off, his lips found your chest, just above your bikini. You tried again to slow him down. “Hey, hold on. Come on. I’m trying to talk to you. My mom stopped by out of the blue.”

Colin finally sat back with an annoyed huff. “Okay?” he said, “And?”

“And, I don’t know, seeing her always makes me feel really off and I just wanted to see you. Wanted you to come over and make me feel better.”

“Isn’t that what I was doing?” he asked with a grin, running his hands down your sides and then up your back, stopping to play with the string tying your bikini together.   

“Colin, I’m being serious! I just, like, want to tell you about my day and have you listen to me. Okay? I just need someone to listen.”

He looked up at you and you leaned back a little at the annoyance in his eyes. “You seriously dragged me all the way out here to talk at me about your mom? I left a studio session early for you.”

“Ok, well, I didn’t know you were busy! You could’ve just said.”

“You’re so hot,” he said, starting to paw at you again. “How could I say no to you?”

Maybe he was right. Maybe this was the best way to make you feel better. What good would talking do? What you really needed was to stop thinking. You leaned into him again and he picked up where he left off. “We could go out,” you said. “Get real fucked up.” 

“Mmm,” he said, with his face in your neck and his fist in your hair. “That sounds fun. You gonna promise not to abandon me in an alley this time?”

You pushed back against his shoulders and sat up with a glare. “Don’t be a dick.”

He rolled his eyes. “It was a joke. I’m joking.”

“It isn’t funny. I already apologized. And you never apologized for flirting with that girl.”

“This again? Seriously? I didn’t apologize because I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t flirting, you’re just insecure.”

“Fuck you,” you said, standing up and putting as much distance between you as you could on your deck.

He rolled his eyes at you again and started picking up his stuff. “You’re so fucking high maintenance, you know that? One of these days, I’m going to wake up and decide you aren’t worth it.”

“Yeah?” You sneered, the pit in your stomach that started with your mom’s surprise appearance growing bigger. “Is that going to be before or after you use my instagram account to boost your album sales?”

“Fuck off. You think you’re so important. I don’t need your help.”

You threw your arms in the air. “Then why do you keep demanding it?”

“Whatever. I can’t believe I came all the way out here for this.” He shot you one final glare, before heading back out the way he came. 

You stood at the edge of your pool and looked out over the canyon that expanded beyond your property. “Fuck!” you shouted. It didn’t make you feel any better.

You picked up your phone and started scrolling through your contacts. You didn’t want to be alone right now. You just needed someone to talk to. But everyone in your phone was a ‘going out friend’ or an ‘impromptu house party friend.’ And suddenly, the thought of going out, with the loud music, and flashing lights, and all the paparazzi yelling at you, made you want to crawl out of your skin. You scrolled through your whole contact list again. You didn’t have a single person who you thought might drop everything and come spend the night on your couch with you. You didn’t think you ever had. You felt tears starting to gather in your eyes and quickly wiped them away. This was dumb. You were fine. You could spend one night alone.

You walked back into your house to find Curtis glaring at his phone, leaning against your kitchen island.

“Hey,” you said, trying to get his attention. When he looked up at you, you saw him take all of you in. Your wet hair, bikini, tense shoulders, and your eyes, which you could feel were still damp. He straightened up, looking very concerned. “Um,” you looked down, feeling like you needed to avoid his gaze, “I’m not going out again today, so you’re free to go. You and Jensen.”

“Ok,” he said. 

You looked back up to find him still looking at you carefully. When he finally started to move, you panicked and added, “Or, um, I’m probably just going to order a ton of food and just, like, watch TV, so if you wanted to, you could, um, you could stay. And, like, just hang out.” What the fuck did you just do? You were so pathetic. Why would you do that? What was wrong wit–

“Yeah, sure, I can stay.”

“Oh!” You didn’t know how to keep the shock off of your face. Or the intense relief. You started to feel yourself calm, just a little bit, for the first time all day. “Ok, great. I’ll just order the food – Thai ok?” He nodded. “And then take a shower and change. I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time,” he said. “I’ll let Jensen know that he’s good to head home.”

You just nodded and went upstairs.

After a long shower, you dressed in your comfiest pair of sweats and a large old t-shirt, clothes that usually stayed buried at the bottom of your drawer. You went down to your living room to find Curtis unpacking the bags of food onto your coffee table, the TV softly playing at a low volume.

“Thanks,” you said quietly.

He looked up at you and nodded. “I grabbed a couple beers too, that ok?”

“Yeah,” you said, grabbing one and pressing yourself into the corner of your large sectional.

“You want a little of everything?” he asked. He didn’t wait for an answer before he started making you a plate.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know.” He handed you a plate piled high and a fork, then started serving himself. “You doing ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you shrugged, “just a shitty day.”

He sat down a few spaces away from you. “Colin wasn’t here very long,” he said with a practiced casualness. 

“No,” you frowned, “he wasn’t.”

“Can I ask you a question that’s none of my business?”

You looked at him warily, “Sure.”

“Why on earth are you with him?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you. “Uh,” you stopped to think, “the sex is pretty good.” He’d known where your clit was, which was more than you could say for a lot of your exes. “He can be fun to go out with. And we look good together. I don’t know, he gets it, which not a lot of people do.”

Curtis looked at you confused, “Gets what?”

“The whole thing. Just, what it means to be with me. Like, that I’m going to get recognized when we go out, and there’s always going to be paparazzi around, and sometimes I’m going to have to be on location for months at a time. It’s just there’s all this stuff around me. Being with me, it’s asking a lot, you know? But he gets recognized too, sometimes, and he doesn’t mind getting his picture taken and he goes on tour and stuff. He’s more willing to put up with it all.”

His brow furrowed. “You shouldn’t be something to be ‘put up with’”

You shook your head and waved his comment away. “You know what I mean. Anyway, moot point, probably. I think I’m done. He wasn’t very nice to me today and I’m just kind of over it.”

“Probably just as well. His band is terrible.”

You let out a big, loud laugh at that, head thrown back, as you felt some of the stress of the day slide off of you. When you glanced at Curtis, he was watching you, pleased. Proud of himself. It sparked a little blossom of warmth in your heart, and you ducked your head. 

After a few moments of comfortable quiet, he cleared his throat. “For the record, anyone who makes you feel like it’s hard to be with you probably isn’t worth being with.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. You could feel him watching you but you were suddenly too afraid to look at him. After too long a pause, you said, “Well, you just described all of my exes, so…” with a weak little chuckle. He didn’t say anything, but you could feel your feeble attempt at a joke fall flat. You focused intently on your plate and shoved some food in your mouth for want of anything else to do. After a few minutes, you tried to change the subject. “I feel like now I should get to ask you something that’s none of my business.”

“Yeah? What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know,” you said, looking back at him. He leaned back into the couch, plate balanced on one thigh, a beer in his hand. It was the most relaxed you’d ever seen him. “I don’t really know anything about you.” You studied him carefully, feeling like this was your one chance at something, you weren’t sure what. “What were you like as a kid?” you asked without thinking, and then immediately regretted it. What an embarrassing question.

He didn’t laugh or roll his eyes at you, though. He just took a drink of his beer and then said, “Angry. I was really angry all the time.” You didn’t say anything, waiting to see if he’d volunteer more information or change the subject. He took another drink, then added, “I grew up in a few different foster homes and I was just mad, at everything. An angry little thing. Finally, when I was a teenager, I crossed paths with someone who gave a shit. Helped me figure out how to channel it, move past it.”

You sat for a moment, deathly afraid of saying the wrong thing. You didn’t want him to think you felt sorry for him, pitied him. You didn’t. But it felt glib to say you admired him for it or that he must have been so strong. You settled on “Thank you for telling me.”

He nodded and took a bite of his food. Once he swallowed, he asked “What about you? What kind of kid were you?”

You blanched slightly. You normally hated talking about your childhood, but in this moment it felt like it might be ok, like you didn’t have to sugarcoat it. Like you wouldn’t get in trouble for being honest. “I was really lonely. Um, I was never really in school? Or, I guess I was for the first couple years, but my parents were constantly pulling me out for auditions and commercials and stuff. And then when I was 9, I booked the show, and so from then on it was all studio tutors. And there were never really any other kids on the set. So, I don’t know, I was just by myself a lot of the time. Or with my parents.” You grimaced. “Even now, I feel like if I’m not working, I don’t really know how to interact with people. Never really learned how.” 

“You’re doing fine right now,” he said, voice so gentle it made you squirm a little bit.

“You don’t count.” He raised an eyebrow at you and you shrugged. “I’ve always been comfortable with you.” You weren’t sure why that felt so much like a confession, but when you met his eyes and saw how serious they were, you knew he felt it too. You took a sip of your beer. “My turn.”

“Your turn?”

“Yeah,” you grinned, “it’s a game now.” He rolled his eyes, but smiled and gestured for you to go ahead. “Are you seeing anyone?” 

He shook his head. “I don’t date much.”

“Really?”

He shrugged. “I have other stuff going on right now. And my work hours can be kind of weird and unpredictable.” He must have seen the way your face started to fall, because he rolled his eyes goodnaturedly and said. “This isn’t your fault. I just have other priorities right now. I’m sure that if there was something I was looking for, I’d be able to find it.”

“Yeah, you definitely would,” you said with a laugh. He looked at you somewhat quizzically and it was your turn to roll your eyes at him. “Oh, come on! I know you know how hot you are.”

He cleared his throat and let out a small chuckle. “Uh,” he said, as he rubbed the back of his head and you noticed that his ears were turning red. He was uncomfortable. You had made your big, scary bodyguard bashful. It immediately filled you with so much glee. “That’s maybe been mentioned to me, once or twice,” he finally choked out. Just as you started cackling, he cut in, “Ok, me now. When was the last time you took a break?”

You looked around with a slightly furrowed brow. “You mean, like, other than right now?”

He shook his head. “No, I mean, I’ve been with you almost two years now and you’ve worked nonstop pretty much the entire time. When was the last time you took a real, sustained break?”

“Oh, um,” you had to stop and actually think about that. Everything had always been go go go, ever since you were a kid. And even once you were an adult, everytime you thought about slowing down, there was always something to capitalize on, an opportunity that shouldn’t be ignored. “Oh! The summer I was, I think, 12? Maybe 13? I didn’t book anything for hiatus and my parents were so mad. But I just got to hang out all summer. It was amazing. There was this girl my age who lived down the street. And we would just like, hang out in her backyard, or go to the pool, walk to get ice cream. Whatever we wanted to do. I was so excited to have a real friend. It was the best summer I ever had.”

“Did you keep in touch?” he asked softly, startling you when his fingers brushed against yours.

“No, the next season was when they started to really beef up my role, which meant I got paid more, so we moved. I never saw her again. Which was fine. It was really fun while it lasted.”

When you made eye contact with Curtis, there was a touch of sadness there that you couldn’t stand to look at, so you went back to your food. You were fine. Look at everything you had! You were good. You had no reason to be sad.

“You should think about taking a year off,” he said quietly.

You looked back up at him and scoffed, “A year?!”

“You just told me you haven’t had a real break in 13 years. I think a year is reasonable. I know you’re doing fine financially. You should think about it.”

“Maybe,” you said, but you were sure that no one involved in your career would let that happen. You couldn’t even imagine it. “Okay, my question. What do you do when you aren’t looking after me?”  

“Aside from sleep?” he asked, laughing at himself. You were instantly mesmerized by the sound. You didn’t think you’d ever heard it before. Dry chuckles, yes, but an actual laugh? You felt instantly addicted to it. “Uh, I go to the gym most days. I like to read, whenever I have the time. I’ve kind of been teaching myself how to cook, here and there. I don’t know, I’m not that interesting.”

You begged to differ, but saying that felt like too much. Like it would reveal more than you even realized. You were done eating now, so you put your plate on the coffee table and shifted to get more comfortable, bringing your legs up under the rest of you. As you did, your knees brushed against Curtis’s thighs. You stopped, surprised, and looked at where your bodies touched. Without realizing it, at some point during the conversation, you’d both eliminated the space between you. Wanting to see how far you could push it, while ignoring just how much you wanted the physical contact, you adjusted yourself again, so that now your thigh pushed against his. You watched for his reaction very carefully, while trying to look like that was the last thing you were doing. Something fluttered inside of you when he pressed imperceptibly closer. “It’s your turn,” you whispered. 

He turned so that he could look at you fully and just watched you for a moment. You could almost see him thinking, trying to find the perfect question. Finally, “What would you do if you weren’t acting?”

You felt your brain short out for a second. “Like, instead?” You asked dumbly. He nodded. “Um, I have no idea? This is all I’ve ever done. I don’t think I’m really good at anything else.”

“I highly doubt that,” he said and you were thrown off by how sure he sounded. You weren’t sure anyone had ever sounded so confident about you before, especially when it was so unfounded.  

“Well, it’s true,” you said and wincing internally at how harsh it sounded. “I don’t know. I don’t like that question.” Your skin was too tight again and you felt so, so small. He was seeing all of you now, how little there was, and had surely found you wanting. 

“Ok, that’s fine,” he said quietly, like he was talking to a spooked horse. Something about it made you want to flip over the coffee table. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to– I’m sorry.” You just nodded and folded in on yourself. “We can stop playing.”  

“No,” you said. “I still have one question left.” There was really only one you wanted an answer to. “Why did you stay tonight?” 

He didn’t stop to think before he answered. “Because you seemed like you needed me to.”

“That’s not part of your job,” you said, feeling defiant without really knowing why. 

“No, it’s not.”

You didn’t know what to do with him. This wasn’t how people treated you. You were either something to be vaunted or something they could use. Your parents, your friends, the people who worked for you, the people you dated. They all wanted to get something out of you. Curtis never seemed to want anything from you. But he didn’t put you on a pedestal either. He had always treated you like just a person. It was unnerving. What were you supposed to do with that?

You turned back to the TV, finally registering what was on. It was some reality show you’d never seen before. “I have no idea what this is,” you said.

“Me neither.”

Whatever comfortable calm that had existed between the two of you on this couch, it was gone now. You curled up, placing your chin on your knees. “I’m probably going to fall asleep.” You were exhausted, not just today, but in your bones.

“Do you want me to go?” he asked. 

All you could do was shake your head and let out a small, whispered, “No.” As all over the place as you felt, you knew you weren’t ready to be alone yet, weren’t ready for him to leave.

“Ok,” he said, softly, as you felt his arm moving behind you to rest on the back of the couch. “I’ll stay.”

Part Three

[cheshiresense]

Hi Cheshire! Thank you so much for the Yuzu snippet! It was SO great. I LOVE how fucked up the Kurosaki family is (wonder what Isshin thinks of this? We saw a glimpse but like... Is he an outsider and tolerated because he's the Only Adult Around?). I! LOVE! Poison!Yuzu! It's so great, makes so much sense. Also the easy way everybody was like "Ah, yes, OF COURSE the bowls are poisoned." So Neat. So Fucked Up. Being real I came for the ShinIchi but the UraShinIchi is The Best Trio and I am SO here for it. The fact Ichigo has NO idea he likes Urahara? Amazing. The fact that Shinji is SO LONG the favorite? ALSO amazing. Usuallly with the trio it's almost always the other way around or UraShin incorporating Ichigo later, so It'd be nice to see how this mechanic develops.

I also love "Mizuiro-niisan." Cute and terrifying. I wanna know what you have prepared regarding Mizuiro, he was always one of the most fascinating characters in Bleach taht wasn't 'part of the plot' so to speak (c'mon, dude knows how to make a fucking Pipe Bomb and has a harem of older women. There's A Story. (Also does he still have the 'harem' here or...?))

Anyway thank you for the chapter

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! Lol Isshin is very much the outsider to his own family after Ichigo neutralized him, they're basically like two strangers who happen to live in the same house, and even then, Ichigo went and got his own apartment once he had the contacts for it. I wouldn't say he set out to alienate his sisters from Isshin, so long as Isshin wasn't hitting them too, he doesn't really care what their relationship is like, but considering Ichigo's also been pretty much raising them single-handedly for the past 6+ years, they're bound to learn from him when it comes to Isshin too. Plus they do remember the way Isshin used to smack Ichigo around before Ichigo put a stop to it. So anyway, the twins still talk to Isshin and let him be his loud dramatic self around them but there isn't really any love coming from their end when it comes down to it, and they live with their brother at the apartment half the time anyway. As for Ichigo, he actually doesn't hate Isshin or anything either after the man left him to his own devices and doesn't bother him anymore. And yeah, the fact that he's the nominal adult of the house is still useful since Ichigo's still underage. It's just that he also very much wouldn't care if Isshin kicked the bucket tomorrow.

The Urahara/Ichigo/Shinji is also a surprise to me lol. Tbh, I didn't really have a ship in mind when I first started this AU, but UraIchi is my otp so naturally if there is a ship, I'd go for that. But then I wrote Shinji, and suddenly ShinIchi became a lot more probable, and then I wrote the Yuzu POV and Urahara elbowed his way back into the race. So the most likely ship now would be UraIchiShin lol.

The UraIchi dynamic actually turned out pretty interesting in this 'verse cuz this Ichigo is the type to get rid of anything that irritates him. If it's annoying and cuts into his time, he's not the sort to put up with it. And yeah, Kisuke's strong enough with enough connections that if Ichigo wanted to off him or even just threaten him like he did Isshin, it would be really difficult at the moment, but at the very least, he'd still work towards it, and he wouldn't spend any time with the guy. But here he is inviting him over for dinner and letting him properly meet the twins and just generally tolerating his presence, something he's never done with anyone else before, and it's a toss-up whether he's even really aware of the exception he's making. And on Kisuke's part, he doesn't know Ichigo well enough yet to realize how much leeway Ichigo's given him.

This Ichigo is just Grudgingly Fascinatedᵀᴹ by this cryptic bastard making his life a lot more complicated than he'd like, but is also strong and smart and offered his life up on a platter the moment Ichigo asked for it like it's tradeable currency so whatever he wants Ichigo to do in exchange has to be something even Urahara can't do himself, and Ichigo has just enough curiosity for that to add to the fascination pile just as much as it adds to the annoying asshole pile. Meanwhile, Shinji's just chilling with his poison rice, and Sakanade thinks Ichigo is yum with an adorable kitten for a sister. TLDR they're a trainwreck in the making but a pretty entertaining one.

I'm not sure what I really want to do with Mizuiro here yet but I'm definitely giving him a powerup in the future, he's Ichigo's best friend here, as much as Ichigo or even Mizuiro can have friends, and Mizuiro is absolutely ride or die enough to invade Soul Society with him. Plus I'd like to see what I can do with a character who's not exactly a frontline fighter but not a healer either like Ichigo's canon friends.

[hangmanbradshaw]

Rare personal post, under the cut (trigger warning re: death and grief and complicated family dynamics and a lot of sentimentality haha)

Today would’ve been my dad’s 60th bday. It’s only two years fresh so I never know what feelings to expect, but I was looking through old pics because of my cousin and smiling, and that’s good? He struggled with addition, and caused more scars than I’ll ever be able to talk about no matter how much therapy and EMDR I do, but as complicated as our family was, I love and miss him. There were so many good rays of moments in it, especially when I was younger. My teenage years were hell. The end wasn’t good. It’s all true. I never thought I’d be in my 20s being next of kin- making decisions about life support and planning funerals and burials and giving eulogies and writing obituaries and taking care of my grandparents, but I think I’ve found my peace with it. It hurts, but it’s bearable.

I keep thinking about the eulogy I wrote and gave, what I believe in my heart about loss after losing my best friend, my dad, other friends. They really stick with us? In so many ways we don’t always see. It’s not about moving on, truly it’s about just finding space for the rest of life too. Widening your heart to it. I watch Star Wars and I think of Andrew. I talk to his mom and we laugh. I get excited for football or hiking or going on an adventure and that’s my dad. All these pictures of him younger, healthier, playing football and bringing us to games, teaching my brother and me how to play, taking us white water rafting and horseback riding and hiking and camping over and over. Pictures of him doing it himself when he was younger. And it’s just like. I’m his daughter. He lives on in my life because I see those things in my life, and for that, I’m so grateful. I look at my life and that lyric is so true- There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.

My writing journey started about a year after he passed as art therapy. I realized I loved it. I met all of you, wrote IWTBY, wrote my novel now. I took myself to the Super Bowl and watched the team he taught me to love win. I took myself to a movie premiere, to Europe, to all these things he never got to do. To national parks he did visit. To parks he took us to. My brother and I are going to Austin this fall and staying out on a ranch like we did as kids. I live in a peaceful little apartment with a job that helps people and wonderful friends and all that pain and hurt led to it. Anyways, just a long, ridiculously sentimental rant to say I’m grateful for this little community. For my little life. It’s simple, and it’s mine, and I am forever thankful for it. For all of you and the love you show me, whether it be for my stories which truly have changed my life, or in general. I wrote that one shot last night, and immediately was blown away by the love y’all give it and me. If my little stories have made you smile, or feel something, it’s all I can hope for. I hope everyone who sees this finds their own peace, no matter how impossible it seems, truly. Keep your head up, keep finding the beauty and joy in the little things. In the sun shining and laughter with a friend and movies that make you inspired. With love, Steph 💙

[punsbulletsandpointythings]

So I've been watching My Hero Academia and like

GOD ALL THE TODOROKI FAMILY BAGGAGE HURTS SO GOOD.

Like damn. What a complicated situation. I love that all the kids are handling things differently. I've already figured out the (obvious) Touya twist and BOY do I hope we get a reverse Darth Vader moment with that.

But also like. Fuck Endeavor with a rusty spork. He's a terrible terrible person. But gosh what a good character. That contrast between being a Great Hero and a Terrible, Abusive Father is a deeply compelling story, is definitely a part of how the show interrogates the idea of heros and the complexities around a society and culture of heros and villains.

We already see that complexity with All Might, and how by becoming a Symbol of Peace he's made it so he can't do anything but destroy his own body and still try to put on the smiling face for the public, and when he forcibly can't do that that anymore, for a few moments, the public turns on him, until he shows he's /still/given all of himself for the "Greater Good". Which is heartbreaking, and fascinating, I hope between him and Deku we get to examine that dynamic a bit more.

But that's like.....the needs of an individual being put aside for the expectations of society and how by being There for Everyone All The Time, All Might unintentionally became part of a system that can't really survive without him, so he can never leave, until he's forced to, and the plot becomes how society deals with that sudden lose of security.

With Endeavor, it's like. How do you come to terms with the duality of this person. He's saved so many lives, and in doing so, in his status rising because of his heroics, he turns around and commits atrocities. But it's not so much society forcing him into a corner like I think All Might is. Yeah societal expectations of heros probably played some part, but I think the larger part is the narrative pointing out how Endeavor's own drive, while I think coming from an initially good place, is corrupted by his own way of viewing the world.

We know he cares for people, he clearly can manage that on wider, impersonal scale. But he can't, or doesn't, apply that to his own family, because his own drive and desire to Be Better Than All Might outweighs everything else when he's not out in hero mode, thus: a Good Hero and at the same time, an Abusive Asshole Father.

And I like that, at least so far, the characters and the narrative won't let him forget that! Even as he tries to "fix things", I like how, as far as his family is concerned, he can't! He can try, but Natsuo and Shota, and even Fuyami, have no reason to trust him, and even less to forgive him, and I like that they say that! Like, good! I'm glad he's trying to be better, but fuck him!

AND I like that we see Shota seeing that juxtaposition of Good Hero v Terrible Father. I love that scene where he straight up says, "Don't pretend to be a good parent in front of my friends. I'm here for Endeavor, not Enji ((that's his name right?)) Todoroki, and I'm only here because it will benefit me and my training."

I don't entirely know where I'm going with this but it's all just! Such a good story! And there are so many other bits I could ramble on about (Fucking!!!! Bakugo???? Listen, as someone who was bullied for uhhhhh most of my pre-uni school life, if this were real I'd have OPINION. But it's NOT it's FICTION and GOD Bakugo and Izuku and their fucked up co-dependant situationship delights me, what delicious storytelling!!!) but I'm currently watching the Todoroki Backstories episodes of season 5 and ANNOYED (Read: delighted, again this narrative is WORKING SO WELL) that I'm so invested in Endeavor and his painfully slow realization of just how badly he fucked up!

Anyway, I'm gonna need so Todoroki Family Time Travel Fix-It aus please, because I want Rei and All Her Children to not get Backstory Trauma, so if anyone has recs (or like. MHA recs in general) HMU!

[yourwitchmama]

How do I make my dreams become reality? Pick a Crystal

Get ready for some tough love

Diamond:

You’re going to have to be more realistic about your dreams. Will you be a billionaire with what you are doing right now? Is it realistic that you’ll get into the music industry? Acting? Preforming? You need to start small and work relentlessly. Dreaming and doing the bare minimum is not going to get you anywhere.

If you want to be signed to an agency, are you taking acting classes? Singing classes? Any music classes? Are you going to school to learn about music, acting, or production? Are you healthy and ready for a perfect reputation? A social media screening test?

This also may be a sign from the universe that you must see the bigger picture of what you want to do in life. Write in a journal, in detail, why you want these things. Keep asking why like a child until you know exactly why you want it and why you feel it is your purpose.

Ruby:

You dream of a perfect relationship/friend group.

If you want to be with someone and have a successful relationship or a friend group, it’s important to get back to the basics of what it means to be in a relationship. It takes time, effort, and selflessness.

Are you ready to call a friend at midnight for hours to let them vent about their breakup? Are you ready to make plans with people and keep them? Are you able to be in a group where you may not like one person? Are you ready for a complicated dynamic? Are you ready to be vulnerable? Are you able to go into this with an open heart and an open mind?

Ask yourself these questions on pen and paper. Maybe you are too afraid of making the right decision. With social lives, you need to dive in and find your way to the right people through experience. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Amethyst

You’re a mystical independent person, perhaps you want to grow as a spiritualist or build a business. Maybe you want to combine the two.

Take your manifestation to a new level by listening to the universe. When you’re doing or thinking the right thing, you’ll see repeating numbers such as 111, 222, 333, etc. this will usually be on a clock. Let the numbers guide you on your journey to success. If the universe offers you an opportunity, take it.

Do not let fear or hesitation get in your way. The universe will give you signs, but don’t hyper fixate on them. Notice them and see if they are relevant. Focus on expansion and exploring unknown territories with an open mind.

Quartz:

You just want to be comfortable, possibly have a family, a significant other, and a generally stable life. You’re DONE. You want peace. It is important for you to budget, pay your small debts off, and use the extra money you get from not having those debts by paying off bigger debts.

Debt is easy to accumulate and hard to get rid of. Being frugal and strategic is going to be your best friend if you want to have a stable life with stable people. Take care of your body, mind, and soul and think about your future. Ask yourself, “do I really need that?” “Will I use that in a month?” “Is this an impulse buy?”

reading books on how to manage your money and make good relationships will also be helpful. If we grow up around people who do not make good financial decisions, or we grew up without much of anything anyway, it’s easy to slip into that pattern because it is all we know.

Start small.

[mamawasatesttube]

So i was just rotating your "Jack drake lives au" in my mind and at the same time remembered those panels of superman shaking hands with Some Fucking Guy (i think he was being a bitch to Lois or smth) and he makes direct unflinching eye contact with the tight lipped smile and his grip is a little too tight to be friendly

Anyways im not saying he hates Jack but i do think Kon off-handedly mentioned the "joke" about his nail polish and Clark went "oh really now?" And didnt forget

So rip Jack at that family dinner night bc not only is Lois waiting for an excuse to obliterate him but Clark is right there with her and if jack thinks that Good Ol Country folk Ma and Pa will back him up then hes in for a surprise lol

oh yeah absolutely!!!! the thing is. literally Nobody likes jack in this au ksjdhfkd like kon and dick absolutely have texted each other to bitch about him, ma openly shakes her head when she hears about how he treats tim (and she WILL speak her mind if he ever tries to shut that sweet boy down in front of her!), cass literally won't speak to him bc he failed the vibe check so bad, etc...

and like. no one is telling tim this. they Know it'll make him feel like he has to defend his dad bc he loves him! but sometimes tim mentions oh he can't join for games this friday night, he and his dad are going on an early morning fishing trip. and cass just meets kon's eyes across the room behind tim's back and rolls her eyes so hard.

but yeah. clark will mostly let lois handle the obliteration with ma's backup as needed bc he knows she's got this. his form of expressing his severe disapproval of jack, his views, and his parenting? supporting tim. thanking him for doing the dishes after dinner, praising his work ethic, ruffling his hair and telling him he did a great job with that case he wrapped up last week, etc. it makes tim go "!!! :D!!!" like that pic of the cat getting patted. tim has always craved approval and affirmation and affection from people around him and he gets it in spades from the kents. and jack sees his son light up and open up around these people way more than he does with him. it's not a good feeling.

it's just tough bc like, tim doesn't want anyone getting mad at jack. but the idea of anyone getting mad at jack on his behalf is also just such a shock to him. he's not used to that. he feels like he has to manage jack and be responsible for him in a lot of ways (if jack says something shitty in front of lois, tim cringes because now jack is gonna get his ass handed to him and feel humiliated, and that's his dad and he was trying to help, and also he feels like it's on him that his dad is being like that. why? oh you know.) (its the unnamed emotional abuse, thats why.)

but also clark and kon watch lois ask tim how his degree is going now that he's in engineering school, and lightly rib him and ask if she can't poach him into investigative journalism instead, because she doesn't usually take interns but she'd make an exception! and tim cocks his head like a dog and says well, maaaybe he'd be down to consider an internship if she's serious? it does sound cool. what are the details? and jack, who barely gets more than one-word answers when he talks to tim about his future, is just kinda seething. heart rate goin up bc hes mad. and kon and clark just exchange extremely amused glances across the kitchen and sip their hot chocolates.

like the tim and jack dynamic is complicated; it'd be a lot easier if the love wasn't so real but it is present. its just that jack is soooo emotionally immature and grounded in Classic American Manhood and ideas of fatherhood. and the fact that tim is growing beyond that and not fitting in the mold he's "supposed" to eats at him. its a tragedy but also we are all pointing and laughing at jack every time superfam make him grind his teeth.

[sarahreesbrennan]

Hi Sarah, I'm so excited to see your upcoming release. (Villainess deserve representation too!) I was rereading Love From Both Sides for the dozenth time - as one does - and I was wondering if you had any plans for a spin off with Adara and Natalie? Their story has so many uncharted possibilities, I'm dying to know more. And relatedly, we're gasping out here for more sapphic media that goes as hard as your work does 🥺

I'm sorry if this has been asked and answered before, I couldn't find anything in your archives. Thanks again for writing In Other Lands, a precious and rare delight. I hope you're having the bestest day with at least one friendly nuzzle from a puppy

Hey my love, Never be sorry for asking anything! This world is bettered by the questioners, and it’s a great compliment to me that you care.

As regards Adara and Natalie specifically, I couldn’t tell you. I’d love to write more in the In Other Lands world (about which more later) - but whether I could do a short story or a series of books would obviously change my answer. It’s not entirely up to me, but I definitely do have plans for Adara. She’s a foil for Elliot, and the kind of character I really like - one who I see treated shallowly in other media, when few people really are shallow. If there’s too much skimming the surface, I long to explore the depths. And with the depths come adventures. Thank you for your care!

I also thank you for being excited for Long Live Evil. Villains and villainesses do definitely deserve representation, and have long been beloved by me because they’re often complicated, witty because they see the world differently, and queer-coded. I was also thinking when writing it about the different ways audiences can come to a story, and using the same evidence how different people presume characters are (for example) straight or bisexual. And often the ending will be very uniformly heterosexual. But if you go into the story, and change its direction… Are the things you presumed true? Are the things characters presumed about themselves true? Would certain subtexts surface, and certain texts submerge? How do we influence art by engaging with it? Anyway, I am categorically not making any promises because that’s got me in trouble before. But it’s an ensemble story (I was inspired by the group dynamics and relationships, all given weight, of Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows) and these are some of my preoccupations when writing it. I hope you shall find much to enjoy.

In the meantime, if you seek sapphic media that goes hard, and Sappho knows we all do… The Jasmine Throne and the Oleander Sword by Tasha Suri - this series is a huge favourite of mine - and not just mine, it won the World Fantasy award. Its central f/f pairing features one party holding the other at knifepoint for fine reasons and they have a brilliant dynamic based on understandably conflicting ideologies and complicated family situations! I love it.

Thank you for a delight of a letter and your kind words. I write this being yelled at by a cat for skritches, which is pleasant as puppies. I wish you a beauteous day with animal companions of choice, with apologies I couldn’t answer more definitively!