#but I'm having so many mixed feelings about how i want to transition and it's making me really emotional I'm trying really hard not to cry

[yanderes-galore]

Is it possible to ask for a romantic concept of Eren + Mikasa (AOT) sharing a darling???

Sure! I'm not finished Season 4 so I chose this to take place during Seasons 1-3 personality and plot-wise. If you want a Season 4 version eventually, I can probably do that.

Yandere! Eren + Mikasa sharing a Darling

(Seasons 1-3)

Pairing: Romantic - Sharing

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Jealousy, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Violence/Implied murder, Yanderes sharing, Blood, Stalking, Kidnapping/isolation, Dubious/Forced relationship.

Honestly, these two are such a duo.

They would definitely share more than fight over their obsession.

Although, as this is romantic intentions, I have a feeling there's some quarreling.

A way this could work is Eren starts with romantic feelings and Mikasa just means to support him at first.

So essentially... It can start as Platonic! Eren and Platonic! Mikasa... then Romantic! Eren and Platonic! Mikasa... then eventually we get to both of them as romantic.

You're no doubt a Scout like them, which just adds to their protective behavior.

Originally the two are just your friends and comrades.

You admire Eren's driven personality and his determination... even if it gets him in trouble.

You also grow to befriend Mikasa, mostly due to the fact she's grown up with Eren and naturally wanted to know more about you.

She may be quiet and stoic, but she clearly cares for both you and Eren.

The two very well may stay platonic for awhile.

They always have looked out for you since you were Cadets.

Now, as Scouts, they're always with you in the field.

The two are actually terrifying as yanderes, that's not even including season 4.

First of all, Mikasa is one of the best Scouts there is.

Second of all, Eren's a titan-shifter.

You are probably one of the most protected Scouts there is.

When Eren has more control of his titan, he probably lets you and Mikasa sit on his shoulders.

I imagine romantic feelings slowly develop when it comes to them.

It probably starts for both of them, but one of them is more intense (Most likely Eren).

Eren is no doubt the one who admits to Mikasa that he likes you.

Mikasa is surprised, perhaps even a bit hurt, but supports Eren.

Which transitions the duo into Romantic/Platonic instead of Platonic.

Mikasa's feelings take longer to brew, but Eren certainly adores you.

Two problematic "rivals" for both of them could probably be Armin and Jean.

They both care for Armin and in earlier seasons despise Jean.

I imagine if you were close with Armin, the two are conflicted.

They care about Armin a ton, so they'd never get into violent fights.

Eren may express irritation or feel dejected, but Mikasa is calmer.

They may be more subtle with Armin in their attempts to distance you two.

But Jean causes a more volatile reaction from both of them.

Eren, in earlier seasons, naturally hates Jean's personality.

Plus iirc, Jean would flirt with Mikasa sometimes, which she hates.

Safe to say they both despise it when Jean speaks or flirts with you.

Eren starts to pick fights but Mikasa tries to soothe herself and pull you away.

Eventually, Mikasa realizes she loves you too.

She probably learns this while working with you in the Scouts for awhile or realizing how irritated she feels when you take your attention away.

Eventually she probably gets the courage to tell Eren about it, feeling guilty as she knows Eren loves you... but hasn't confessed.

Eren seems to have a mixed reaction to this information.

He's a bit possessive about you and is unsure what to think.

However, if Eren was going to share with anyone, it would be Mikasa.

Which then makes the duo both romantic.

Confessing... well, confessing takes time.

The two have gained a reputation when it comes to you.

Many in the regimen know Eren and Mikasa collectively have a thing for you.

It's seen in the way they fight beside you, always prioritizing you.

If you're in trouble, Mikasa's either cutting down a titan's nape or Eren's tackling them in his titan form.

As for human encounters?

They're somehow around you, watching carefully.

Both of them don't mind spilling blood, even more so in season 3.

If anyone dared to hurt you... they're dealing with a dangerous duo.

Now eventually... confessing will happen.

The two ask you to meet them in private, that or one of them approaches you to meet them in private.

Then when you all gather, the two let loose.

They tell you their feelings, everything from how much they care about you to how jealous they are of those around you.

They admit they're scared to lose you and both want to date you.

The decision is... difficult, no doubt.

However, the two are willing to wait.

Due to their persistence... there's a good chance they aren't willing to give you up completely...

But they will wait until you're ready to accept them.

If you don't? Well... They'll find some way to convince you to see it their way... Even if it means losing the freedom you strive for.

For example, they stage an injury to keep you out of combat and with them... or they just straight up go rogue and kidnap you.

If anyone tried to stop them, Mikasa isn't afraid to bloody her blade and Eren certainly isn't holding back either.

You may be crying... shaking at the sight of them covered in blood... but everything will be okay in the end, that's what they say.

Soon... Soon they know you'll be happy with them.

You just need some convincing....

[autolenaphilia]

Edit: as hoshi9zoe pointed out, the original version of this post needlessly berated other transfems like Jennifer Coates, for which I do apologize, and I have toned it down in this edited version. The original version survives in reblogs.

Some months ago, I was searching through this transandrobro blog to see if they posted a callout of me, and i found this reblog, which I couldn't really write about for months, because what do I even write. I recently wayback machined it for posterity, and I guess this is my attempt to write a post about it.

It's saint-dyke himself, the coiner of transandrophobia, saying that the infamous (at least for me) article "I am a transwoman. I'm in the closet. I'm not coming out" is what made him coin the fucking word. It's literally bolded and underlined: "Reading this article is what made me coin “transandrophobia”.

The reason I put off writing this post is that reading that article makes me feel like i'm drinking poison. And it is poison, make no mistake, it's internalized transmisogyny brainworms dripping out of the writer's brain and onto the page.

It's a justification for why the author, known by pseudonym Jennifer Coates, doesn't want to transition, despite knowing she is a trans woman. And it's the exact kind of internalized transmisogyny that keeps trans women in repression and not transitioning. "I'm not going to pass, i'm forever going to be an ugly freak who will at best be humored by other women, the closet is uncomfortable but at least it's safe"

It's the same exact bullshit a lot of represssed trans women tell themselves because it's what society tells us about trans women, that we are freakish parodies of women, that we will never pass, and if we don't pass we have failed and are ugly freaks. It's all to scare us into staying in the closet and make others hate and fear us. Transmisogyny permeates our society, and the majority, maybe all transfems will absorb and internalize some of it.

Coates says that it all is just applicable to her, but again so many transfems believe this shit before transitioning and realizing it's a pack of lies. If this bullshit was in any way valid, a lot of trans women shouldn't transition, because before we actually transition many of us believe it word for word. And "it's only true for me" is how we justify it to ourselves. We tend to be way harsher on ourselves than others. This kind of self-hating transfem tends to think: "Other trans women are beautiful graceful goddesses, earthly manifestations of the divine feminine, always destined to be women, while I'm an ugly forever male ogre who just has a fetish."

It's all bullshit, it's poison, it's internalized transmisogyny.

And the rest of the article is bullshit too. It is not some insightful mediation on gender as some people say, it's the author confusing and mixing up actual transmisogyny with an imagined problem of misandry. She does this because she has gone full repression mode, and decided she has no other choice to live as a man, so her dysphoria and experiences of transmisogyny are actually men's problems.

It's a bad article, excusable because as Coatas points out, it's "essentially a diary entry." that was meant to be a way to "vent frustration" and she "did not intend for anyone else to actually read it." It is clearly not the product of a healthy mind.

I hope the author sometime in the past seven years eventually did transition, and that for whatever reason she didn't want to publicly repudiate her own article. Maybe she lost access to the medium account so she can't delete it.

Far worse than the article itself is the response to it. I've seen it passed around as some insightful commentary on gender by the "feminists are too mean to men, misandry is real" crowd. I have argued against this before. And other people have made insightful comments about it.

And learning that saint-dyke claiming that he was inspired to coin the word "transandrophobia" because of this article is the cherry on top of this shitcake of transmisogyny. For my thoughts on "transandrophobia" theory and how transmisogynistic it is, see here.

Of course, Saint-dyke absolutely could be bullshitting here. Claiming that Coates's article is what inspired him to coin the word might be a lie to claim that transandrophobia theory is not transmisogynistic because it came from listening to trans women.

This is why "listen to trans women" doesn't work. Because TME people will always choose a trans woman who confirms their prejudices. Blair White has made an entire career out of this. And Coates article is popular because it says that misandry is real and trans women's issues are partly caused by it, misgendering herself and other trans women.

And it's popular for another reason. Coates has thoroughly internalized transmisogyny, and thus her article presents a trans woman that is exactly as transmisogynistic patriarchal society wants her to be. She is suffering, but ultimately accepts her assigned role. She truly believes that her biological sex dooms her to forever be male. She literally "manages her dysphoria by means other than transition" as conversion therapy advocates want us to do. She never makes an social claim on womanhood by actually transitioning, so she doesn't invade the sacred women's spaces. Yet she performs the role of woman perfectly by serving men, by defending them from supposed feminist misandry. And she fulfils the ritualistic role that the rhetorical figure of "trans women" sometimes serves in progressive spaces, of giving a blessing to TME people's pre-existing views and actions, all while actual flesh-and-blood trans women are destroyed by those same deeply transmisogynistic spaces. This time it's a blessing for the same "misandry is real" soft-MRA bullshit that has infested the online left and created the transandrophobia crowd.

That is why this article and the positive response makes me sick, makes me feel like i'm drinking poison. This is what its fans want trans women to be like. I'm acutely aware this kind of self-denial is exactly what transmisogyny wants from me and tried to indoctrinate me into doing it. And I want none of it. I want to live, I want to be a woman.

[catboybiologist]

About to fall asleep ramble time, this has been kicking around in my brain for a bit and I need to get some form of this thought out

I was diagnosed with ADHD and gender dysphoria one day after the other back in August. Extremely stereotypically zillenial of me, I know. Handling both of these has dramatically improved my quality of life. yes yes insert discourse about how much you need to have dysphoria as a diagnosis, it's just a tool for the medical system that's ultimately meaningless, that's not what this is about.

There's one thing that was really, really weird about the experience of getting care for both of these.

Most treatment and public talk of transition and motivations to transition are about misery. How much despair your birth sex gives you and how gender affirming care is the only stopgap against suicide (oftentimes, used as a barrier to entry that it should only be given when it's at the suicidal point). How crushing dysphoria is.

In contrast, most of the public perception of ADHD is this cutesy, "omg look I'm so quirky" kind of thing. People talk of ADHD "superpowers" and how neat it is to have hyperfixations (I'm low key starting to dislike that word, even though it's an accurate description of many things- it's very overused).

My actual experience has been almost exactly the opposite.

I absolutely had gender dysphoria, and still do, and misery associated with being AMAB. But is that what defines my trans experience? No, and in fact, it feels like a more incidental blip in it. My trans experience has mostly been defined by joy, by feeling my mind and body slowly make me more and more content with my default existence day after day. And the exploration of it all! The social roles, the romantic dynamics, the friendship dynamics, even small aesthetics like clothes and makeup, and again, the body and mood changes. It's incredible and it brings me joy so much of the time. That, more than anything, has defined my trans experience.

In contrast.... ADHD has objectively made nearly every aspect of my life more miserable. Working with my therapist and my pysch, as well as feeling what it's like to be properly medicated, have shown me extremely well how much the constant feelings of misery I always seemed to have were caused by ADHD. ADHD means being unable to receive a baseline level of dopamine to function under normal circumstances, so your brain starts looking for any way it can get new sources. And wouldn't ya know it, novel stimuli are a perfect way to do that. Keep in mind that dopamine isn't just "the pleasure molecule" it's a neurotransmitter with a broad range of functions. If you don't have ADHD, or even if you do, I want you to think about how miserable of an existence that is. Your default state is depression and inability to do things. It has been for me for most of my life. Additionally, anxieties creep into your head and distract you far more easily. You're less functional. You can't do simple things most of the time. You're distracted and have anxiety spikes easily. Continuous tasks are hard. And day in, day out... You are miserable. Almost constantly.

Oh also, you're easily addicted to extreme novel stimuli. For me, it was self harm. And when that stopped working... Well, I was in a state of mostly background depression that was only punctuated by spikes of massive, overwhelming anxiety that my brain hooked itself on. At a certain point, I just wanted it to end, by any means necessary.

It's been almost ten years since that day, and at this point I can genuinely say that I'm glad I'm still here.

But it wasn't dysphoria that did that (it contributed a bit, but still wasn't the biggest factor). Or a depressive disorder. Or bipolar. Or whatever the big, more "scary" mental illnesses or neurodivergencies are. They tried to treat me for some of them, and it ended horribly. My symptoms fit mixed presentation ADHD perfectly, including my physiological response to stimulants. They don't fit anything else. I likely don't have any strong comorbidities, unless you count the symptom-level anxiety and depression. ADHD did all of that to me. The "cute and quirky" one.

By the time I got around to a diagnosis, my pysch was astounded that I made it as far as I did with symptoms as severe as mine. Tackling ADHD has removed so much misery from my life, it's indescribable. Adderall has been the only thing that has ever actually gotten rid of my constant anxiety.

It's not fucking cute. Keeping with this being the flip side to my dysphoria, I do try to keep it light most of the time, and I join in on all of the classic "whoopsie doopsie my ADHD" trains and jokes. You don't have to stop making those, hell, they're fun. There are cute and funny parts to having ADHD, and ways it's made my personality what it is. But don't forget that this is also something that makes people genuinely suffer well beyond the "oopsie I'm such a procrastinator!!!" Type thing.

Idk where this thought is going. It's just kind of an observation that's been kicking around in my head for a bit. So uh. Hope it at least generates discussion? Feel free to add your experiences if you think it'll help you. But fuck I need to sleep lol

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for accidentally outing my fiance?

I (27F) am engaged to a 24M guy. He is trans, but he doesn't identify as trans anymore - he's post-everything, passes 100%, lives stealth/as a cis man, and no one who didn't know him pre-transition knows him as anything but a cis man. I know keeping that up is very important to him, we've had a lot of conversations about how happy he is just being seen as cis and being able to pass. I know getting outed and 'found out' is also a big worry of his, for example for our upcoming wedding he's rushing around trying to make it clear to his family that they shouldn't mention him being trans or refer to him as she/her at our wedding because he has so many friends coming who don't know he's trans. It's not that he doesn't trust them or he's ashamed of being trans or anything, he's very supportive of his trans friends, but he just doesn't publicly live as trans.

We're in a big Discord server of friends that have been quite close for about a year now, enough that we've met multiple of them in person and two of them are going to be in his wedding party as sort of 'best man' equivalents (we're not really sticking to bridesmaid best man stuff just our mixed gender friends). He has kept his Facebook very private for as long as I've known him, the only people on there are IRL friends and family because he has in the past posted trans stuff on there, like transition updates, it still has old pictures of him pre-T or in early transition, etc. I knew he didn't want this found. He also hadn't told any of this group aside from the people he was especially close with and had invited to the wedding his surname and location in case they looked him up and found something.

People in the server were sharing their Facebook profiles and I shared mine so people could add me. My fiance messaged me right after pointing out that me sharing mine would dox him as I had him in my relationship status and friends list, but I unfortunately didn't see this message for a while as I was distracted and doing other things. By the time I saw, everyone in the group had already clicked and gone through my profile and found his.

He tried to go through and speed-delete everything he could find that was public that mentioned him being trans or showed him pre-transition, any comments from family referring to it, etc but pictures that were set to friends only were still popping up in previews on the side and some of his family have public profiles that show cover images with him pre-T and things like that.

Our friends were making jokes about finally knowing his surname, going through his whole account down to the time it was first made back in 2018, commenting on old statuses of his, so they definitely saw his profile and went through all of it. He was panicking because he had no way of knowing if they'd seen that he's trans or not and got super upset and freaked out about the possibility, and he couldn't ask without outing himself or making them suspicious.

I apologized and deleted the link but obviously by then it was too late.

I do think it's not a huge deal as much as he thinks because I know our friends would be supportive and wouldn't think of him differently, but I know it was still important to him. I'm not sure they did see because some of our friends are the type to have just blurted out "You're trans?!" in the server without thinking about it (not because they're malicious or judging it, but some of them aren't as online and don't really know how to talk about it sensitively if that makes sense) and they didn't say anything. However he thinks they did because they were talking about statuses older than the ones he managed to get to deleting in time.

Like I said i did apologize but I feel like he's still upset with me for not thinking before sending my profile. On top of that I have kind of a habit of doing things impulsively and without thinking (I have bpd and bipolar) and not always taking into account how it will affect him or what consequences it will have,which I've been working on for years but I worry this is just adding to that which I know already wears on him.

What are these acronyms?

[spdrvyn]

7 days until valentines

as compensation for my lack of posts, here's a short blurb of miguel with an autistic reader! i'm projecting really hard though

Miguel didn't know where the transition from his to 'our' workspace had begun. It was the little things, you'd leave a small cup with pens in it at his desk without bothering to pick it up after you leave his office. Eventually, that cup became a real pencil holder now you had journals, notebooks, and basically everything that wasn't work related neatly cornered into one part of his desk home with the scattered papers and unfinished gadgets Miguel has.

You also make home at his desk, efficiency was one of your strengths, but your productivity reached maximum capacity whenever you were with him. No words were spoken while the two of you worked, Miguel greatly appreciated it.

Not that he'd mind a little bit of small talk, but he enjoyed silence without feeling like the loneliness was clawing at his insides.

Though normally you (almost inhumanely) finished your work way earlier than he did, but you didn't leave. No, you didn't.

This habit of maintaining his presence while you're off doing something kept even when you were pursuing your own personal interests, Miguel would catch you on your laptop chatting to your friends whenever he had to check something on one of his monitors.

Other times, you'd have headphones on. Listening to music or catching up on one of your shows, your reactions are as muddled as they can be to not disturb. But one moment, he'll look away with you completely deadpan then look back to see your jaw widely agape and pupils blown wide from devastation.

Tonight was no different, if anything more convenient for you because a new episode of this unnamed media just dropped. Admittedly, your expressions and small noises entertained him as he worked. You did try to be discreet, but that super hearing of his could pick up on your small gasps and 'aww's on opposite sides of a workspace.

His concentration is broken when you practically slam your laptop shut, packing your earbuds into their case with an audible snap. You hop off of your place and solemnly walk over to where Miguel is standing, he quirks a brow at you.

Uncharacteristically, you slump your head against his shoulder with the biggest frown he's ever seen you in. "They're not getting back together, Miguel."

"Oh?" maybe feeding into your theatrics wasn't a smart decisions, but analytics dulled in comparison to whatever was going on inside your head. "Who?" he continued to interrogate.

"My only reason for light and happiness, my true inspiration for spreading love and joy across every corner of the multiverse." Miguel rolls his eyes. "Do not give me sass right now, I am so upset."

He genuinely can't tell if you're joking or not, perhaps a mix of both. "I don't get how I'm supposed to sympathize with this ex-couple when I don't even know the title of their story?"

"It's a cartoon. You'll laugh."

"Cartoon or animated?"

You quirk your eyebrow this time. "Huh?"

"I'm asking you, cartoon or animated? There's a difference, animated features aren't always classified as cartoons. Cartoon is more of a term for animated medias directed towards children. Aren't you the one more adept at this topic?"

He looks at you with an almost-smirk. It's teasing at his lips, full and plump. There are many sensations that you hold resentment for, but one you've always wanted experience is Miguel's lips against yours. The ultimate sensory triumph, all you've been waiting for.

God, you want to kiss him.

"Yeah, I- uh, animated. I mean, animated."

"Tell me about it when I'm not trying to keep the world from ending, please?" he grumbles, and you raise your head off of his shoulder. Damn right you'll tell him about it, and probably kiss him after too.

[zzzzzestforlife]

practical daily habits and affirmations for high-energy productivity 💫

tips from a busy part-time psychology student / full-time software engineer🏃‍♀️

i was inspired by HBR's "energy crisis" checklist but i wanted something more positive and affirming 🥰 so i ripped the thing apart and put it back together with (self) love 💕

bonus tip: don't try to incorporate too many new habits at once! start with just one or two and once you find yourself doing those easily, you can add more!

Show Your Body Some Love 🤗

🛌 I regularly get at least seven to eight hours of sleep, and I often wake up feeling well rested.

I have a strict bedtime, even on the weekends, and start my night routine at least thirty minutes to an hour before.

I follow Best Zesty's night routine. 😉

🍴 I eat a healthy breakfast.

I wake up thirty minutes to an hour before my day actually needs to start so that I have time to prepare food and eat at the table/bar.

I eat fruits/veggies, carbs, protein, and take my supplements.

🏋️‍♀️ I work out enough (at least four sessions a week that are a mix of strength and cardio training).

I follow workout routines that are safe and body-positive.

I consult with a doctor or trainer if necessary.

😌 I take regular breaks during the day to truly renew and recharge, including a relaxing lunch.

I listen to my favorite music.

I go for walks in nature.

Show Your Emotions They're Valid

🧘‍♀️ I am able to let go of feeling irritable, impatient, or anxious at work, especially when work is demanding.

I take time to meditate, practice mindfulness, and/or breathwork.

I recognize that I have a distinct identity that is independent of what I create/produce.

💕 I am fully present with my family and loved ones.

I enjoy deep and frivolous conversations with my people.

I put away my devices when sharing physical space with others.

🥰 I have enough time for the activities that I most deeply enjoy.

I schedule and protect my focus time for both my work and my hobbies.

I run my life like a well-organized engineering sprint. 😉

🙏 I stop frequently enough to express my appreciation to others or to savor my accomplishments and blessings.

I write thank you notes (or text messages) for the people in my life.

I keep a gratitude journal.

Show Your Mind It Is Powerful

🌲 I am able to focus on one thing at a time, and I am not easily distracted during the day.

I use technology to my advantage with apps that help me focus.

I start every day with a to-do list I made the night or week before so that my transition between tasks (a.k.a. the black hole 🕳️) is seamless and distraction-free.

👀 I spend much of my day focusing on activities with longer-term value and high leverage, rather than reacting to immediate crises and demands.

I regularly say "no" to optional activities/tasks that I know do not serve my long-term goals.

I plan for the future to prevent crises from arising in the first place.

🤔 I take enough time for reflection, strategizing, and creative thinking.

I keep a morning pages journal.

I regularly engage in a creative hobby/collect inspiration.

🚪 I don't work overtime, even if it's just answering/reading messages.

I have a strict clock-out time and snooze my notifications on a schedule.

I schedule activities after work that help me unwind and/or think about something else.

Show Your Spirit What It's Capable Of

✨ I spend enough time at work doing what I do best and enjoy most.

I am honest with my manager/mentor about my career goals so that they can help me align my daily tasks with them.

I keep a daily log of my activities at work so that I am aware of how I'm spending my time.

💖 There are no gaps between what I say is most important to me in my life and how I actually allocate my time and energy.

I have a vision board to remind myself of what is most important.

I keep a mood tracker so I can find patterns in what makes me happy and what doesn't.

😤 My decisions are influenced by a strong, clear sense of my own purpose rather than external demands.

When making a decision, I take time to articulate my own opinion to myself before soliciting the opinions of others, which I then consider from multiple angles.

I know that we don't just "find" our purpose in life, we create it by the little things we do every day.

💝 I invest enough time and energy in making a positive difference to others.

I regularly volunteer to help others and/or set aside time to help others when they ask.

I share quality time, physical affection, helpful information, etc. with others.

feel free to add your own suggestions/thoughts in the reblogs/comments~ you got this! 💪

[joesalw]

All of Taylor's albums were tailored to the most popular aesthetic at the time. She didn't make shit popular, she just adapted. Especially when she made the transition into pop music.

True. She's currently jumping fences with rep as well. Making it out to be a goth punk moment and using trendy words like 'female rage'. The album has the most romantic songs she's ever written. C'mon now. The whole record is electropop with some R&B elements thrown into the mix.

She portrays 'Lover' as her social justice warrior era. 'If I was a man, then I'd be the man'. Yeah, we've seen it Taylor. Miss 'me becoming a billionaire is good for the world because I'm a woman'. She makes herself out to be this 'feminist girl's girl' when in reality it couldn't be further from the truth. She's not a feminist and she doesn't want to be the woman that's advocating for women's rights and leads the path for the future generation of women. She wants to be the man at the top. Her motto is literally 'gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, greenhouse gases'.

Another thing is her queer allyship. She's mentioned it when and only when it was profitable to her. During her tour she hadn't said a thing when the number of states signed anti-trans bills and the state of Tennessee where she says she lives *according to her own documentary* banned drag. I don't think she said anything about the anti-abortion legislation either. Her activist era started and ended in 2019.

Don't get me started on her position regarding the BLM movement. She only posted something because her own fans started calling her out and then declared that she's 'ferociously anti-racist'. She positioned herself as an advocate *by herself* and then immediately dipped when it stopped being as profitable. If you don't want to be dragged for your silence about social and political crises, don't proclaim yourself as an activist. Simple as that.

I've also seen the video on Youtube about TS being a narcissist (someone posted it on your blog earlier I think). And the guy in the video brought up her guitar teacher. So I looked him up and found an article where he talks about his experience with the Swifts which he got sued for later. According to the man, Taylor's mother was interested in him teaching her daughter how to play country music and was just a stage mom in general. And TS says that she'd been begging her parents to allow her learn how to play guitar and that she's self-taught. She wants her success story to be a rags to riches so bad I can't even.

She's a woman with an extremely fragile ego where millions of people could be praising her and a single negative comment would set her off. She can't handle any form of criticism, break ups or inconveniences like a grown woman simply because she doesn't have enough emotional intelligence to do so. Her being surrounded by yes men also doesn't help the situation. If i were her, I'd rather invest in a good therapist rather than 2 PJs. She drowns herself in work and relationships so she doesn't have time to go inwards and sit with her thoughts.

I kinda feel bad for her, honestly. She's been in the industry since she was 15 and her success was almost immediate. She doesn't know what the world's like because she's been sheltered her whole life and then had other people do things for her. I don't think she has many real friends as well. By real I mean people who aren't afraid to tell you the truth and are able to call you out in your face. Instead she has a bunch of people who appease her afraid of pissing her off and ending up on her bad side and as a result her vanity grows and she completely loses any sort of perspective whether in her friendships, romantic relationships or maybe even her own family.

I also wonder what she thinks about her fandom pirating her concert film instead of paying to rent it. I sort of hope that her fans are starting to wake up to her conning schemes. I mean, you've already made a shit ton of money from the theatre release, why charging 20$ more to RENT IT?Not even buy it. Or is it another narrative about how 'no one can own my work but me'?

This woman sells well but her cultural impact is almost nonexistent. She hadn't done any good for the world causes or inspired several generations of performers like Michael Jackson has with his philanthropic endeavors and incredible performing skills. The artists like Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Justin Timberlake (bleh) and The Weeknd were hugely influenced by MJ. These artist create their own unique legacy and impact on their communities. Especially the ladies. Gaga's been an avid LGBT+ advocate since the beginning of her career and created a foundation that focuses on issues like self-confidence, well-being, anti-bullying, mentoring and career development. She also participated in anti HIV and AIDS campaigns, spoke against immigration laws in the US, contributed to 2011's earthquake and tsunami relief campaign in Japan. Beyoncé's a huge advocate for the black community and black women especially which always finds its way in her work and visual art in particular. She's been platforming black culture and history for her whole career (2016 Superbowl and Coachella performance are the brightest examples of black american culture and releasing her Lion King album to showcase African artists' excellence). She also has a foundation where she provides black youth scholarships, clean water for communities abroad and housing to families in need in her home state.

What exactly makes Taylor Swift's cultural impact? Thousands of tons CO2 emissions? Music labels putting a clause in the contract so the artists can't re-record their material for 10 years now instead of 5? Making several versions of the same CD or vinyl so the sales are bigger? Mind you, that's all excessive plastic and paper. Some countries and US states are banning gas stoves. Her position regarding artists being paid during the early days of streaming (when the platforms were launching with a free period tial) was right but no one really benefited from it but her. She was shitting on Apple Music, then they offered her money, filmed an ad and released her 1989 Tour DVD exclusively on their platform. She shat on Spotify, then when LWYMMD came out, she was all over their biggest playlists all of a sudden and recorded Spotify Singles later on. Spotify's always promoted her every release like a motherfucker shoving her in every corner of the platform. Especially for the past 3 years. She doesn't have any memorable outfits or unique style to be called a fashion icon either. She's not a trailblazer she thinks she is. She is only popular because a lot of people *mostly ww* who peaked in high school see themselves in her. She's average in everything she does, her writing topes are also the same (only now she started using compound or uncommonly used words to mask it) but she's extremely commercially successful so that those people can see themselves in her. She doesn't have unique music style or chameleon-like discography like Gaga, Bey, MJ, Madonna, Shakira, Kelly Clarkson, Miley Cyrus or Nelly Furtado. She doesn't have a unique singing voice like Bjork, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Janis Joplin, MJ or Bob Dylan. She's no instrument prodigy either. And swifties say that 'Michael couldn't play any instruments'. Well, he was an exceptional beatboxer. She can strum 4 guitar chords and play basic piano, that's it. She doesn't have an outstanding dancing and/or vocal skill.

What is she gonna be remembered for? Her numerous relationships with famous men? While that might be misogynistic or sexist to some degree, she's the one who makes her relationships the centre of her music and public persona and brings them up even 10 years after they ended. Her public feuds with men and women that she can't get over years after? This woman is certainly can hold a grudge and is extremely vindictive. The leader of a parasocial cult that blindly defends her bigotry? I believe so. I don't think I've ever seen a fandom as toxic and as hive-minded as swifties. And again, it's Taylor's own creation. She's the one that constantly says 'look closely for the easter eggs' in her content making her fans theorize on every aspect of her life, or 'if you're very loyal I might invite you to MY HOUSE and you can listen to the new album early, we'll take pics and I'll bake you some cookies'. Of course they'll follow your any order. I'm glad I escaped.

Oof, I'll stop here. That's a very long one already

sorry hehe

.

[eightyuh]

That Penn art is so good! ❤️ It's a great fic, too. @ratcatcher0325 does fantastic character arcs.

So... have you transitioned from 'I just found out what G/t is' to 'Okay, I might have accidentally joined this community.' ?

I'm curious to hear your thoughts because G/t has so many potential settings, concepts and vibes, that I think tons more people could get into the 'fandom' (actually more of a trope).

But one of the major things driving people away is the mixed association with NSFW/kink stuff. Even the most wholesome G/t fluff feels like something weird I have to hide from friends/family. 😞

Feel free not to answer: but what were your initial impressions about the G/t fandom? How did they change as you learned more?

(first of all, this is like a really good ask-- I appreciate your insight on the matter haha ... what with me accidentally creating Wick's End as a G/T comic and coming into all this as an outsider)

Thank you!! It was a nice read; they did a good job writing. Unfortunately for me, I can't just enjoy media without analyzing it. It was interesting to see how another author wrote a story intentionally as G/T - setting up scenarios ;) and indulging in the element of physical contact as a love language.

While I hesitate to claim membership to any fandom as an identity, yes, I would say I am a G/T enjoyer among you. :) I appreciate how flexible it can be used to express themes like emotions, protection, vulnerability, disability, etc.

I'll admit, I was initially cautious because I did suspect it was a kink-oriented. As time went on, I came to see that G/T makes efforts to separate itself from the perverted sect off in another corner. The genuine feelings of earnestness, wholesomeness, and shared sense of vulnerability is what won me over. I love that understanding and taking care of one another is a foundation within the G/T community. Really, I can't think of the last internet community I came across and thought positively of-- if that means anything haha. That doesn't mean it doesn't have total weirdos too lol. I even lurk in the GTCon Discord VC occasionally while I work on Wick's End as a sort of parallel-play motivator >/////<

. . .

The reason I still don't tag Wick's End as G/T is because I don't want people reading this story thinking that was my intention. YES it is G/T, tropes and all, but I did not write it with the intention to indulge in that sort of fantasy. It's meant to be a storytelling aid that illustrates chronic burnout... which otherwise would be an invisible condition. I don't want outsiders to mistake this as written for a kink / community they don't belong to -- and at the same time -- I also don't want G/T community members to misinterpret it as fiction written specifically to entertain the trope.

I hope breaking this up in paragraphs + adding a pic made it less of an eye-sore haha. Thank you for asking such a personalized question!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven, are you going to watch the upcoming new Disney movie "Wish"?

I've seen mixed reviews, but i'm lowkey excited since we get to see a new Disney villain, especially since Disney got really lame villains after all the old classic movies!

Have you seen the trailer for the movie? What are your thoughts so far?

I saw Wish with a friend recently! I'll give my thoughts on the trailers here (in case you don't want spoilers for the film itself) and put my full thoughts beneath the cut (if you're okay with spoilers).

Looks-wise, I think Disney was definitely trying to go for something more stylistic and painting-esque for this?? And while I commend the effort, it definitely doesn't look as interesting as Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish. The humor also definitely isn't for me, it feels very "quirky" and "so relatable" (Asha reminds me of Mirabel in that sense), and other times too juvenile (like the goat butt joke). I do like the idea of the villain passing as a good guy in-universe and actually being vain and selfish, especially since the marketing is making it clear who the bad guy is rather than making it a "twist" villain scenario. Not sure if I like Magnifico himself though??? All the ads with him in it feel like Disney is trying too hard to make people thirst for him. From just the trailers, Magnifico does seem interesting and like more of a return to the traditional "villain" rather than the protagonist having to deal with an existential dread or concept.

***Spoilers for Wish beneath the cut!***

Right off the bat, my first impression is the narrative is SO ham-fisted. Within the first 5 minutes alone we're establishing so much information and in such a clunky, unnatural way. Like... Asha says hi to her friends but then they robotically have a dialogue where they overtly call each other "friends" just so it's clear to the audience (when in reality no one talks like that). It's telling instead of showing, and this happens sooo many times early in the film.

Could not for the life of me remember the friends or their names. There were just too many of them when 1 or 2 would have been just fine to move the plot along and to help Asha. (Yes, I know they're a reference to the 7 Dwarves but it's STILL not necessary to have so many just for a reference.)

Bruh, the makeup in this movie is on point. Every time there was a close up of a character, I was staring at their eye makeup (especially Asha and the queen's).

Asha as a protagonist was... fine? She feels very close to Mirabel and at times Rapunzel in her character. I didn't dislike her by any means, but she didn't reinvent what it means to be a Disney protag. Her motivations also come off as… really “out of nowhere”. We’re told she “cares too much”, but she initially only wants to save the wishes of her mom and grandpa; she randomly decides she has to free ALL wishes midmovie and that was jarring. There could have been a smoother transition. Instead, it was abrupt and Asha didn’t change in any meaningful way. Even her “I want” song was vague (what exactly is “to have something more for us than this”?) and didn’t connect well with her character.

I do really like her design though! Her freckles, earrings, and how her hair moves are my favorite details.

Valentino was not as annoying as I thought he would be. Still didn't care for his sass and brand of humor, but at least he helped out a few times.

I called it, the film is trying so hard to make Magnifico "hot" 🤡 I don't get it but okay, Mouse. I see your effort.

Loved his fit!! Very cool cloak and diamond/star motifs everywhere! His lab and study was also fun to look at.

I quite liked the moments when the queen talked to her husband and tried to smooth things over with him. “I can fix him energy”— Their relationship seemed very genuine at the start of the movie.

NOT THE WISH NEPOTISM...

If they were going for “sympathetic” with Magnifico, it didn’t work. He gave this backstory about how he was traumatized before + left as the only survivor of a great tragedy and so now he wants to use his magic to prevent that from happening to anyone else. Thing is, we only ever know about this via his word and staring at a half-burnt tapestry. We never see the event on screen, nor what was left of the tapestry. I was expecting a twist where it’s revealed that he lied all this time about his backstory and rewrote history so he could more easily manipulate the people of the kingdom he founded and live out the fantasy of being worshipped as a “good guy”. That was such a missed opportunity!!

Something else I was thinking of (this was during “This is the Thanks I get” was??? Maybe Magnifico started off genuinely good but became worn down over time as people’s wishes grew more selfish and they became ungrateful for what they had?? Then he could have become bitter and disillusioned by the behavior of his people.

Another idea is maybe Magnifico was “villainous” only in Asha’s eyes, since they don’t agree on how to best handle granting wishes. This would be more of a clash of ideologies rather than the traditional Obvious Evil vs Obvious Good that Disney is so known for, but hey, it could be a neat evolution of their storytelling from classic fairy tale roots.

This is to say that there were so many more interesting directions they could have gone with Magnifico’s motives, character, and portrayal 😭 but the second half of the movie never commits to any of these, they just blame his complete insanity and turn to the dark side on Forbidden Magic which is such a cop-out.

The trailers gave away the twist that Magnifico was the villain. It wasn’t revealed until like the second song into the movie. Would’ve worked better as an on-the-spot reveal rather than part of the marketing, in my opinion.

When they showed the wishes, the TWST fan in my was shouting, "OMG IT'S WISH UPON A STAR, THE LIMITED TIME STORY EVENT FROM THE HIT DISNEY MOBILE GACHA GAME TWISTED WONDERLAND!!!"

As Wish is Disney's anniversary film for 100 years, there were tooons of easter eggs scattered throughout. (I had fun looking for them!) Some were visual (I saw Aurora's dress, Snow White’s well, Peter's Pan's costume, Ursula's green smokey hands, Asha's robes resembling those of the Fairy Godmother, etc.) or extended imagery/scenes (Asha recreates Mulan's dinner and “Reflection" scenes), others were more overt lines of dialogue (Magnifico says the "Mirror, Mirror" lines along with others, a deer named “Bambi”, Valentino mentions an animal metropolis in reference to Zootopia, etc.).

In theory, the wish magic sounds cool but has so much that isn't explained??? And yeah, it's magic so it technically doesn't have to be. However, there are things not explained even when it is important to the plot. For example, Magnifico crushes some wishes and seems to absorb their power for himself (including the wish of Asha's MOM, so you'd think this would be important)? The consequence of this is that the wish's owners... become sad??? Okay, what are the long-term effects??? Why isn’t this fully explored?? But then later in the film we see the same people whose wishes were crushed... regenerate their wish??? So what, he has to keep reaping them??? And why are the wishes only taken at 18 years old? What if a wish changes? Ironically, the townspeople of Rosas have a scene where they question the technicalities of this wish magic. Magnifico essentially tells them to shut up, and it kinda felt like Disney was telling us to not question their lore www

It was weird that they never fully explored the ramifications of going without your wish. You’d think they’d show us people without ambition or hope (which would incentivize Asha to return their wishes), but everyone seems blissfully happy without their wishes?? The only exception is Asha’s friend that betrays her (cannot for the life of me remember his name), and that’s namely because his asshole friends keep ragging on him for it.

I thought the movie was going to go in a “you can make your own wish come true!!” direction but NOPE, turns out it’s just magic. Felt like Disney unintentionally wrote a whole movie about "wishes not coming true unless some big powerful entity allows it to come true” (Asha literally becomes the fairy godmother of Rosas at the end, making her ultimately no different than Magnifico)… ie a metaphor for how Disney owns so many properties it practically owns our childhoods www

"The power of friendship saves the day" ending 🤣 It was very Paper Mario ending-esque...

A song saving the day though?? It’s giving the Illumination Lorax film…

I was right about the humor. Too "quirky" and/or juvenile for me.

Animation was alright? Nothing awful about it, it just didn't feel as detailed or as experimental as other films with a similar style.

Songs were mid, which checks out with the recent Disney music excluding We Don't Talk About Bruno--

Some of the lyrics however were awful. “I let you live here for free and I don’t even charge you rent” is redundant. “So I throw caution to every warning sign” means you’ll show more caution than usual, not that you’ll forego caution. The correct expression is “throw caution to the wind”. Etc, etc, etc.

There was a cute after credits scene where they reveal that Asha's 100 year old grandpa (same age as Disney omg) wrote the "When You Wish Upon a Star" theme, which was sweet since his wish was "wanting to make a mark".

THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE WAS STAR!! It was very cute (partly because it couldn't talk and just jingled and giggled, I was dreading another annoying mascot animal voice) and reminds me of my own pet… The way Star infused everything with glitter and formed unique shapes with the red twine was so fun 😭 I'M A STAR STAN, IT WAS ADORABLE AND KINDA BRATTY AND I'M LIVING FOR IT

Decent ideas, "meh" execution. Enchanted and Shrek did it better in terms of self-aware, fairy tale defying stories. It felt as though the movie was trying to deliver a profound message but got lost in the sauce of making as making Disney references possible and didn't fully commit to actually saying something meaningful. As a result, the film feels somewhat… hollow.

That one friend betraying Asha was the biggest surprise in the film but I still saw it coming 😂 I do get where he’s coming from though (being worried that his wish won’t ever come true) but it also felt like his conflict wasn’t resolved??? It might have gone better if the movie actually fully tried to push the “you can make your own wish come true” message (to reinvigorate the traitor to make his dreams a reality on his own) but they don’t 💦

Wish didn’t end up being “the wishing star’s origin story” because not once did anyone question where Star came from or why it was different from other stars (or what the significance of Magnifico blotting out the other stars was).

I think the people that would enjoy this movie are the people that are already highly invested in Disney and the nostalgia of it.

... Anyway, stan Star 🤩 (and the talking mushrooms 🍄)

[vonnythemuse]

I am 15.000 days old today.

I woke up early this morning, or rather, this night; not because I set my alarm, but because I needed to go to the bathroom. While there I remembered I had seen a post on tumblr just as i went to bed last night, on self defense for a specific target group that I wanted to read, but had failed to save.

I decided to search for it using a tag I expected to be in there, because I was still kinda sleepy. Instead I found that tumblr had nuked the account of a user, after this user had complained for a year or so about continual harassment, on the basis of mislabelled sexual imagery (fully clothes transition pictures).

I got sucked into this narrative, even though I don't know any of the people involved. I only use the platform of this CEO who decided to have a public meltdown on this topic, citing a post by said nuked account concerning hammers and exploding cars in a very tumblr-esque way, which wasn't cited in the ban report. But this hardly makes me an expert on the situation at hand.

I see lots of posts, of many people, showing solidarity. Pictures of their own transition to see if they'll get banned too.

Should I show my solidarity this way? My own transition is so long ago, the programs used to store my current photos didn't even exist yet. I'd have to go home and take a picture of an old photo, lying forgotten in a cabinet.

Oh, yes. I've turned 15.000 days and I'm not at home reading this, I'm on holiday, reading about how a website I've not been using for that long didn't seem as supportive of who and what I am as they claim to be. No surprise there, I've seen this before, I'll see it again. I think of my younger friends, who just started their own transition process, and wish it didn't have to be like this. That I didn't have to see this again, that they'd never have to see it.

I read all this, huddled half under my blanket. I don't want to wake my wife, she'll just tell me to not read this kind of stuff. Turn away, keep my head down. I get it, she's not under threat, and in my daily life I can be pretty open about who i am and who I was, with friends and even at work. I'm privileged in that way, having experienced only minor harassment in my real life, and tell myself that this isn't because I learned very quickly which places to avoid and when and how to keep my head down. Being open about who i am feels like an act of rebellion sometimes. I hope, and genuinely think, that doing this allows my colleagues to experience that we're just normal, kind people too. That I'm doing my part in some small way.

I'm 15.000 days old today, and I wonder when walking across the street and being in public becomes dangerous to me too. Like, more dangerous than it already is. Mixed in with the posts I read this morning, are reports of the death of a non-binary kid of 16, bullied to death in the United States. What a world to live in. What a world to be 15.000 days old in.

My alarm goes off, my normal work day alarm because even if I'm on holiday i prefer to keep my sleep schedule intact. I get out of bed, letting my wife sleep a bit longer. I greet my family in law, with whom we're on holiday with. I don't tell them about what I've read either, they will understand my worries even less.

I'm 15.000 days old today, and I worry about the future, and I worry about my friends and my friends' future, what it has in store for them.

But worrying about my friends also makes me think about my friends. How kind and supportive they are. How kind and supportive I can be for them. How I can maybe be the role model I never had, even though times have changed so much I have no idea how any of this works anymore.

I think of my friends, and feel warmth and solidarity. So here's to them being amazing, and me being amazing, and it's being amazing together. What a world to be 15.000 days old in.

And I write a post about hammers and exploding cars because I don't have my old pictures at hand.

[loupy-mongoose]

I don't know how you shade things so perfectly! I'm excellent at blending colors but I can't shade even if my life depended on it!😅🤣

How do you do it so good? Could you lend me some tips?

First off, thank you very much, but I refuse to accept my shading as "perfect". I'm proud of how far I've come, but it ain't perfect!

Tips... Hmmmm...

I have a pretty good understanding of the characters' and objects three-dimensional shape in my mind, so when I shade I subconsciously keep in mind how the light will affect them and where shadows will form.

Don't be afraid to look at books, references, tutorials, and Youtube videos! Take advantage of the vast library of resources at your fingertips!

I've spent a lot of my teen years watching speedpaints--Twarda8's Pokemon paintings on Youtube are old favorites of mine. Ironically their playlist called "Junk'n'Old" played a MASSIVE part in my artistic upbringing. One man's trash is another man's treasure~ I've also looked at many many mannnyyyy tutorials over the years, some of them multiple times, taking in how different shapes affect the shadow outcome. For example, sharp cut-offs will result in solid lines of shadow, while rounder shapes will have softer transitions from dark to light.

Take, for instance, my latest masterpiece; The eyebrows are meant to somewhat sharply overhang the eyelid, so they cause a sharper shadow cut-off.

While rounder parts of the body have smoother shading.

Mix and match them depending on the shapes present! (Hopefully that's coherent enough. X3)

A few extra things;

-Different light sources and surroundings can influence shadows as well. For example, the sun will create sharp, defined shadows, but clouds will soften the shadows considerably.

-When shading colored artworks, try to avoid using pure black to shade. If possible with your tools, use a darker color set to the Multiply or another darkening blend mode. Experiment! (I have another post about my painting process here if you're interested, although the canvas size in that may be incorrect now.)

-Find brushes you're comfortable with! I don't want to advocate that an artist can't be good without certain brushes, but I do think it's important to love the tools you use. But also don't feel like you have to stick with them for eternity--Every once in a while I get dissatisfied with my brushes and tweak them a bit, or dump them for others.

-For doodle shading like the above, I scribble in rough chunks where I want the shadow to be, then smudge and erase them as I see fit. All on a separate layer from the line-art, of course.

That may be more than you bargained for, but you can pick and choose what you want to take from this, if anything at all. I just felt like dumping. Happy shading! ^w^

[yanderes-galore]

So, it started!

Fandom: FNAF

Character: The mimic

Type of fic: concepts

I don't think there's much to add for this plot that wasn't said in that brainrot that was posted some time ago about him.

-🐻

Yeah, sure! I'll see what I can do for The Mimic. In this concept I refer to the character as just "The Mimic"/It as I'm not sure if there's a canonical gender pronoun (Wiki says The Mimic is Genderless and says "It")?

Also, FNAF related side note; I love how I've seen a 🦊🐻 and 🐇 anon but no chicken XD It would've fit so well. There may have been a 🐣 anon but they never interacted so idk....

Potential spoilers for FNAF: Ruin and Tales From The Pizzaplex?

Yandere! The Mimic Concept

Pairing: Romantic (It thinks so, at least)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Murder, Blood, Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced affection, Forced "relationship".

The Mimic does exactly what you think it would.

It mimics what's around it... that's how it's survived this long.

It's creation was meant to be an AI that learns and mimics things it sees.

This is how The Mimic learned to copy its creator's son, it's also how it learned violence.

Mimicking what's around it caused so many gruesome murders by its hands.

The Mimic takes up violent behavior way before you even meet it.

It's locked away underground yet occasionally still finds new victims.

How it transitions into yandere territory is this according to the brainrot I was sent:

It copies other behavior.

Maybe The Mimic sees two Pizzaplex workers getting a bit too... friendly with each other.

Perhaps on the job they decided to use the private time to show some affection.

Holding hands... hugging... kissing... telling each other they love one another.

The typical stuff you'd see with couples.

Sadly... they quickly become victims of The Mimic.

But not before The Mimic learns something new.

The Mimic learns a new thing to copy... compassion.

Or at least... a twisted form of compassion.

The Mimic picks up on what couples do, yet the violence it learned before still lingers in its code.

Who knows, maybe the AI even finds jealousy to copy from the same couple or some other workers.

That or jealousy is something it learns on its own.

The Mimic is finding ways to process these new lessons and behaviors up until you find your way into the underground Pizza Place.

You could be another guard sent to clean things up or just an outsider who managed to find themselves stuck here while exploring.

Either way, as you roam the underground levels, you're being stalked.

The shambling Frankenstein of a bot follows you around yet its intentions are unclear.

It stays out of your view and it processes what it wants to do next.

It's mind goes to violence again... like all the rest.

Then it thinks of something else... copying how those other humans treated one another.

Their interactions appeared... softer... more positive.

The bot recalls when it was once praised and cared for.

It remembers being playful and being treated well.

Perhaps it feels it wants to recreate that... it wants to feel that love again.

For this concept The Mimic's actions could be interpreted as "Romantic".

Yet that's mostly because that's what it saw.

If it saw more platonic actions it would mimic those with you, but I'm going to make this concept more akin to the brainrot I was given a long time ago.

Either way... The Mimic intends to feel loved again.

With you as its target of affection.

Your encounter with the bot is no doubt creepy.

First of all, the appearance of the bot is mixed parts and strangely humanoid compared to its more animal-like peers.

Then there's the fact it can mimic voices.

The Mimic would use the voices of victims to lure you closer to it

It would then try to mash together voices to communicate with you.

It also doesn't have much of a moral compass.

So when it eventually comes up to you to act out the affection its mimicked, it has no idea its wrong.

When it eventually corners you, you fully expect to die.

Maybe the machine even has dried blood on it from previous victims.

You cower in place... expecting some sort of physical blow.

Only for the machine to kneel down in a clunky fashion and lightly reach out to you.

You feel cold and rusted metal on you skin as the bot tests things out.

It tries to find a comfortable way to speak with you and not scare you.

You may even feel the tall and lanky seven foot bot pick you up to stand you in your feet.

For being a killing machine... towards you it appears oddly friendly.

More than friendly actually... affectionate.

It tries small things with you.

Things like grabbing your hand and just holding it, maybe even patting your head.

Then there's times it holds you a bit too tight.

Or it feels it's appropriate to press its rusted teeth to your skin in what can only assume is a kiss?

Or it's biting you?

You can't tell and really don't wish to know.

As you roam about the Pizza Place, The Mimic follows.

You feel uneasy as it clinks and clanks around behind you.

Glowing eyes never leave you as it tries to learn from you.

The Mimic would definitely copy things from you.

It copies your voice and movements in an attempt to relate and appeal to you.

If it looked different and didn't murder... one could find it twistedly cute.

The Mimic still keeps the violent behavior it learned, however.

For example, if you were a worker and another guard came down to check on you, The Mimic reacts with hostility.

Or if you came to explore the ruins with a friend?

It doesn't like the idea of this other person touching or talking to you.

Up to this point The Mimic hasn't displayed violent tendencies with or around you.

You've been able to tolerate its strangeness towards you.

Things go down hill the moment another person is involved.

Like some sort of switch... the moment its eyes lock onto your friend/coworker, it stops playing nice.

Before you can say anything The Mimic attacks.

You scream yet it doesn't respond.

The bot pounces on your companion and tears into them like an animal.

There's blood... gore... the sight in unbearable and horrid.

Yet it's not like you can do anything.

They're long gone by the time The Mimic touches them.

As a result, you run.

You run to look for an exit and escape.

The Mimic is disappointed when it stops attacking as sees you gone.

In an attempt to find you it leaves its mess behind to search.

Things change by this point.

The Mimic still has a twisted sense of affection towards you.

But you don't see it as harmless anymore.

The Mimic doesn't understand the fear you hold towards it.

When it finds you it tries to mimic the behavior it learned from you.

Although you don't respond positively as you can see it dripping in blood.

The moment you met The Mimic, your fate was sealed.

This is because it doesn't plan on even letting you leave.

It will just drag you deeper underground and continue to mimic affection towards you.

It won't kill you... but if you fight it...

It's violent behavior does tell it to break something of yours to make you comply.

The Mimic is a very interesting character in this sort of story.

All its doing is mimicking and learning due to its adaptable AI.

It isn't entirely conscious of its actions, at least not to the degree of other bots.

A yandere Mimic is the result of a poor combination of events.

If The Mimic was properly contained... you'd probably never be in this situation...

Yet now you're here... locked away underground... with a robotic amalgamation watching over you like a hawk.

[sapphsorrows]

Opinion on Blair White? (I personally think she’s iconic)

I have such mixed feelings about him because I've been watching him since 2017.

He definitely contributed to me thinking that there were actually "true trans" people out there, and it was only until this year that I realized no, no one is trans, and at the end of the day there is no difference between Blaire and the "cringe" trans people on tiktok that he criticizes. Blaire categorizes someone who is "truly trans" as (1) someone who was "trans from a young age" (whatever that means) and (2) someone who has medicalized.

That is a very low bar. Basically anyone can say they believed something at an early age. It's an unfalsifiable claim. Also, LOTS of people he dunks on have medicalized and would therefore be "truly trans." Even fucking Chris Chan has medicalized, even if he just used estrogen cream and gave himself a self-inflicted taint wound, trying to create an "unclit," as he called it. Most of the trans people he has "debated" have also medicalized.

I think there is a great sadness to Blaire. He's talked about how he was sexually assaulted, and it seems to be he has a lot of internalized homophobia, especially around the fact that he is a very feminine gay man. I feel like he transitioned (1) to escape the trauma and (2) to escape his own homophobia. I'm really glad he seems to have found a partner who loves him for him, though, but like... I wish he could realize he could have done that without trying to be a woman, something he will literally never be.

I do still watch his videos occasionally and in many ways I love his energy BUT I wish he could be sassy and feminine... without appropriating womanhood. And I know he says "I'm a male/I'm a man" all the time but we all know which restroom he uses and buddy it is not the men's.

I definitely feel like he's trying to control the narrative of trans. Trans, at this point, is a sinking ship. LGBT acceptance is going down specifically because of trans cray. He's willing to sacrifice the (mostly) mentally ill trans people on tiktok in order to prop himself up as "one of the good ones". He claims to be gender critical... but still claims to be a transwoman. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Being trans is literally his career. He is a millionaire because he is trans. He was able to pay for all his surgeries because he is a well-known trans figure who rakes in a ton of youtube money. If the whole industry goes down, he won't have a job, and he won't be able to continue having surgery and taking hormones. The end of trans would be the end of Blaire.

Sorry this is so long, like I said I have a lot of feelings.

(PS: I find his interview with Shapeshifter SO fascinating. Here is Shapeshifter, dressed as femme as Blaire White, saying that he went through the whole process of being trans, even to the point where he cut his penis off, and he says "I am a man, I was never a woman, I was never trans." Blaire still has his penis and insists that he is "truly trans.")

[weeby-monster-the-bastard]

just a little trans vent

TW: phalloplasty, dysphoria, SH

so i was just doing some research on transgender-affirming care and was like "huh isn't there one that is bottom surgery?" so I researched about it and I'm getting mixed results I don't have very bad bottom dysphoria most of the time but I don't want a v#gina I started to get freaked out about how long it will take and the scar I would have from my arm or thigh and I was looking at the results it seemed 'ugly' to me (not saying you are wrong for getting one if you are happy with how it looks great I'm happy for you ^^) it just looks like a meat tube not even like it looks like the actual cis thing so I am worried if I get it I will regret it but I want to make a full transition I'm just so stuck between the two either get it and regret it if it doesn't go well or suffer feeling not enough of a man its just so terrifying for me since I couldn't handle that scar even so since I have so many SH scars that I think they would deny me even if I really wanted it since both my thighs and forearms have scars all over I just need advice I feel stuck and alone

[trans-axolotl]

i am so sorry if this is the most ignorant shit you’ve ever heard—that long post about how the trans community isn’t inherently safe for intersex ppl—can you outline the harmful, like, ideas? phrases? intersexist talking points that you’re referencing? again i’m rly sorry, for some reason your intersex questions tag won’t show up for me but if you’re willing i’d love to maybe know what phrases or words i should look for to call ppl out on. obviously feel free to tell me to eat shit. i appreciate ur time thank you v much

you're totally fine anon, I'm usually open to most questions when I can tell that people have good intentions :)

So I'm gonna list out a lot of shit but I do want to clarify that it's not only trans people who do this stuff; cis people are horribly intersexist as well. I'm just going to be talking about some specific intersexist things I see more often in trans spaces and also because my audience online is a lot of trans people.

A huge thing is I see a lot of trans people saying that they "want to be intersex" or "wish they had an intersex body." This is an issue for a lot of reasons, because it feels fetishistic, is ignorant of what intersex actually is, ignores the fact that being intersex means you're going to face a lot of oppression, and generally contributes to stereotypes that intersex is like some mythical third sex where you perfectly have a mix of all your characteristics in a gender-affirming way.

Faking being intersex. I haven't seen this shit as much online in a while but this honestly was a kind of big issue in some of my online circles like 5 years back and I still see it popping up every now and then. I don't think I need to explain why this is bad.

Literally just using slurs. I see wayyy more dyadic trans people than I should saying "hermaphrodite" when that is not a slur that dyadic trans people can ever reclaim.

Saying stuff about "AFAB bodies" or "AMAB bodies" or generally talking about sex assigned at birth and assuming that means people have certain body parts or experiences. Not all people who were AFAB have a uterus, not all people who were AMAB have a penis. Generally, I see a lot of trans people making generalizations about the "transmasc or transfem experience" in a way that doesn't leave room for intersex trans people who have different experiences with transition or different ways of understanding their trans identity. Acting like AGAB tells you anything more than what is assigned at birth is a problem, because it excludes intersex people who have different bodies, sex characteristics, lived experiences, all that.

Saying really harmful shit about our bodies, whether that's about body hair or genitalia or our voices, or anything. I've had a lot of dyadic trans people say weird shit to me that I think they think is complimenting me but is just really fucked up. People make weird offensive comments about my body hair and will just say a lot of invasive stuff about my body that is not their business. Asking invasive questions about my genitalia, demanding to know what's in my pants, that sort of stuff.

Specifically harassing a lot of intersex people of color and saying racist shit to them when they speak about intersex topics. This is something I've seen a lot irl and also on tumblr, and people specifically have targeted intersex poc on here and said really racist shit to them if they call people out for saying intersexist stuff.

Getting involved in intracommunity discussions about whether or not intersex is LGBTQ and ignoring intersex people when we speak on it. Our relationship to the LGBTQ community is intersex people's business and we all have a lot of different thoughts on it, and too many trans people speak over us on that.

On the flip side, always leaving us out of conversations where we are relevant (like reproductive rights, lgbtq bills, some types of discrimination, medical abuse, stuff like that)

Only bringing up intersex people when they're arguing with transphobes. Way too often i only see people bringing up intersex issues when its like "Take that transphobes! People with XXY chromosomes exist so you're wrong!" And it's like yeah, that's true, but it's shitty when y'all only bring us up when we're a convenient talking point and then don't know shit about what our activism is, what issues are important to us. It feels exploitative to only use our issues when convenient for you and then not pay attention to us the rest of the time.

Currently a lot of people are ignoring the way transphobic bills are also intersexist. People don't realize that all the things they're saying about "It's so easy for cis kids to get hormones, why is it so easy for cis kids but it's hard for trans kids!!!" is ignoring the fact that most of the cis kids who are "easily" getting hormones are intersex kids who are put on hormones in a way that is often coercive and is trying to "cure" being intersex. All these transphobic bills have specific exceptions to enable intersex medical abuse and it isn't cis people being lucky, it's intersex people being abused.

In general, trans community will ignore intersex exploitation when it's convenient. This one I'm less mad about because I don't think that even a lot of intersex people know this, but the history of how gender-affirming surgery and transgender clinics have been created in the US is really not great. Like obviously gender-affirming surgery is great and I want gender clinics to exist and trans healthcare to be easily accessible, but a lot of transgender healthcare was borne out of intersex medical exploitation. Look up John Money and the John Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic for a particularly bad example. This isn't trans people's fault at all, of course, but what is an issue is when I see trans people unquestionably celebrating doctors who invented trans surgeries, or celebrating the birth of gender clinics without critically understanding the horrible history some of these places have.

Acting like being intersex makes it easier to be trans, or would make it easier to get hormones or be respected by cis people. Most of the trans and intersex people I know have gone through so much shit. I went through hormonal conversion therapy because i was trans and intersex, which was literally so fucked. Because I was both trans and intersex, they did a lot of fucked up medical abuse to try to turn me cis and dyadic, and it did not make medical transition at all easier, it made it harder. That's why it can hurt so much when trans people say that being intersex makes being trans easier, because it fucking doesn't.

Also, I've seen a lot of dyadic trans people lately acting really hostile towards intersex organizations that are advocating for an end to intersex surgery because they think it's going to limit access to trans surgery. Dyadic trans people do not get to fucking say that we should stop advocating for ending intersex genital mutilation because it's "not the right time politically." It's always fucking necessary to be advocating to end IGM, and if there was a specific issue with a specific policy that intersex orgs were advocating for that would make it difficult for trans people to get surgery, that would be important to bring up, but most people I've seen saying that stuff are just saying that we shouldn't talk about it at all.

Not educating themselves on intersex issues. Most trans people I know have no clue what intersex is, what our major activist issues are, what the major intersex org for their country is, what the legal landscape of intersex rights is in their country, stuff like that. I'm not saying that trans people all have to be experts on specific intersex intracommunity debates, intersex history, intersex politics, but I do think that dyadic trans people do need to do the bare minimum of education.

Honestly? This is a little more personal but I know so many intersex people who have had bad experiences in their relationships. A lot of dyadic trans people can get weirdly jealous of their intersex partners, which is fucked up when you consider the fact that the things they are jealous of are things that cause us systematic exploitation and abuse. I know a lot of dyadic trans people who also just...trying to think of how to put this. Who are really not considerate partners during sex for some unique needs that intersex people have during sex. Again not a issue unique to trans people but something that I know happens in like most intersex people's relationships so it's good for trans people to be aware.

In general, the way a lot of trans people talk about and think about biological sex is counterproductive to intersex justice. Biological sex is a social construct. Sex isn't real, in terms of there's no reason sex is tied to gender, and also no reason that we've decided some body parts are now all linked together in a specific way that for some reason is going to be sorted into two categories. Chromosomes and genitalia are not some special body part that is entirely different than like, your kidney or your stomach. Biological sex is not real and the sex binary is not real and I see a lot of people talking about stuff like "male" or "female" is a real category that means anything. There is so much diversity and variation of sex even within dyadic people, and I see a lot of trans people clinging to biological sex in a way that is really apparent and also pretty harmful.

This got kind of long but these are some things that really bother me. I also left out most of the overt stuff like actual hate crimes and assault because I think that most people can recognize that as intersexist when that's happening. Again, I don't want to make it seem like it's only trans people doing this shit, but this is the stuff that I am seeing a lot specifically in trans community and some stuff that has some unique dynamics from trans people. And I think that trans people a lot of times will say things about "how close our two communities are" and "how much our issues overlap" when in reality they don't, and most dyadic trans people aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans intersex people. Cis intersex people also aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans people either, to be fair, and I'm really mad at them too, but I'm talking about this from the perspective of a trans intersex person who's already existing here in these spaces. other trans and intersex people feel free to add on.

okay to reblog.

[elluendifad]

Hi!! Could you talk a little about what following Tolkien elven religion is like for you? (Only if you want, of course.)

I'm a very newly awakened elf and I've just started reading the silmarillion. I haven't even gotten that far yet, but already it's the most connected I've felt to any religious system/religious lore before. I'm considering practicing Elvish religion, but idk. I feel a little strange saying I want to practice a religion from a work of fiction, y'know? (Please don't take this as me saying your beliefs are strange— I think they're incredibly cool. This is very much just a me thing.)

Anyway, I guess my question is something along the lines of How did you realize this was the religion for you/What do you believe wrt Tolkiens work being or not being fiction?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and doubly so if you choose to answer! Have a nice timezone :))

Alatulya, welcome kin! this one is a little long so there is a break. i also accidentally hit publish early, so we will see how editing it works lol.

table of contents: 1. my personal history and variety of practitioners 2. dealing with fictional mythology + my fave paper on this 3. specifics of tolk elven religion

Eldarin religion has been my primary religion (buddhism and my eclectic animistic witchcraft also there and co piloting) for seven years. I have been working with other eldar on our own group experience of this religion for two or a bit more years. I have taken a bit of priestly service role of collecting and organizing materials and keeping track of the calendar, which we call Loa and which assigns different holidays and themes in order throughout the year. i suspect this role is agreeable and natural for me as minya, but that anyone could do it. the degree of demand differs depending on the person, and i would say that much of my time is set to thinking of or practicing our religion. others have less involvement, and some of us feel our cosmology and philosophy is more cultural than religious the way humans might think being a member of a religious group should be. as for my own journey of getting here, i have been otherkin for most of my life and many years of that was 'generally a nature spirit type thing.' which became 'an elf but i am not sure what kind.' which then became 'oh god… am i one of those hoity toity tolkien elves?' bc there is a cultural expectation among elfkin that tolk elves are more dour and care what color clothes you wear or something… turns out that is not true! or, at least, i have not met these grim arbiters of what is becoming of the firstborn! reading the silm and other texts in the legendarium to fill in what i had absorbed from the hobbit and lotr (books and movies) was the lightbulb in the dim cellar. i use a mixed spiritual and psychological theory of origin and function for my several theriotypes and elven kintype, and this experience filled in some gaps i had just been sitting with. i personally feel that i am living one continuous eldarin life--awoken at cuivienen among the minyar, lived and died, spent my time in mandos, and was reembodied here. my sense of memory is dim, and i generally assume that is just a sign that memory is not necessarily important for this part of my life the way it was in arda. it is a great honor to live this life and to find other eldar and folks of all kindreds to share my love of life with. it was natural to transition from my magic and religious work with nature spirits to a cosmology centered on the legendarium-some of the spirits i still work and live with admit they are maiar, others are not maiar and are of the many kinds of spirit and sprite that entered into ea after its foundation to explore. our working relationships and the techniques i use for magic have stayed much the same. so how i do it is just one example in a variety.

2. i will answer first on dealing with the fictional aspect and wrestling with the nature of constructed or pop culture or modern mythology spirituality-the individual beliefs differ there, too!

for my part, i do not think the legendarium is a factual history of this actual world we currently live in. i do think jrrt was channeling something, and may or may not have been kin himself of arda reembodied here.

i think ea, like most faerie realms, is both here and not here and you have to open yourself up and step into it. once most people have experienced the enchantment of an otherworld, they are never fully able to drop the sense of it. i do feel that the legendarium makes a suitable mythopoetic 'history' for powers and themes that apply to both this world and ea and where they overlap, and that the legendarium becomes more historically factual the closer you move into ea and the further you go from current earth.

there is a lovely paper that i surely have annoyed everyone with titled the tolkien spiritual milieu by Markus Altena Davidsen of the university of leiden that really gets into the anatomy of constructed religion and what is present in certain medias that lends itself to that anatomy, which he calls 'religious affordances' in the text. it details a number of groups of many varied beliefs in the tolkien spiritual sphere, some active and some long gone, and i feel that it is a great way to expand one's vocabulary and mental concept of constructed religion and the wide variety that is possible in such constructions. the pdf is available from the university website here

if you check out mr davidsen's other published papers on that website, there are several others also relevant to fiction sourced mythology and spirituality including some by other authors.

3. that being said, there are religious affordances for the eldar in the texts, but not necessarily enough for a fully fleshed out practice as is prepared and given to new members of various world religions. it will take a bit of crafting, but we elves do love to craft! most of us blend legendarium cosmology and philosophy with practices or philosophies we are previously familiar with, like neopaganism or judaism or etc etc.

we have developed some structure in the forms of: a multiply layered observational calendar for the six seasons, eight holidays, twelve months, and seven days of the week; the fourteen valar and several named maiar associated with certain valar; the panentheistic experience of the creator Eru; and the use of witchcraft, meditation, devotional or worship activity, enchantments, glamor, and arts like music poetry painting crochet etc.

most of us practice our own personal flavor by ourselves, and group rituals or ensorcelments are rare at the moment. we are all exploring, and i would be thrilled to hear about your own explorations and what calls to you!

sooo… basically i have a worship and work relationship with our gods and supportive spirits, and give observation on the schedule of the loa. i have daily practices, like offering of beverage an thanks or an oil anointment of my body, and then weekly practices like an eruhini veneration and well wishes for the dead. and monthly practices on the full and dark moon, which is focused on the vala of that month, where i usually do spellwork for the constellation. there are holidays at the start of each season and at the solstices, where i will sometimes do magic for the group but is usually about the personal journey. the one time another elf was physically with me i did do some small rituals including that elda. my herbalism work is inherently religious to me and i also count both learning and practicing herbalism as a devotional activity, same with going on walks or drumming.

i invite you very earnestly to reach out any time and through any means you are comfortable with, and i wish you a very blessed full moon of winds. hantanyel ar namarie!