#but i think i might be new. or not. or a subsystem. or something

[echidnana]

don't really know how to word what I am. but basically I think I'm... a player character. in the literal sense of being a vessel for a player and having nothing inherently of my own

[rin-and-jade]

Guys, did you know that alters still and will form/split from little T's and Micro T's? Well now you do!

Whenever you are living your life, doing your day, with no recurrence of childhood trauma for a good while.. but you still seem to have new peeps? Yet you don't know why?? Fret not as i tell you some, although not an extensive list of reasons such as;

The Lil' T, things that aren't as severe as the Big OG Trauma but still enough to waver you:

Financial issues

Relationship conflicts (hostility, or inconsistent emotional support)

Having debilitating/chronic health issues (be it physical or mental)

Neglect, victim of harrasment/bullying, invalidation and etc (in mild forms, clarification on below)

The Micro T, that are capable to annoy you like a fly, though you still have a limit to these type of T's:

Working a job with high demands, or a stressful environment

Chasing a deadline (and not just this once)

Bad triggers

Involved in arguments often (aha, i know you still think about it)

Now you're asking, "what should i do then, Jade?" and because you need some prompts (tips), here you go:

Relaxation techniques: when you feel like you're going to explode (or something lit up the fuse recently) then its logical to blow the fire out before it can actually explode. Things like having a warm shower, taking care of yourself, or some time off to wind down for a moment will help.

Regulating feelings: antsy? mad? upset? or "dshsdfhgjfds"? Instead of shoving the feelings away, please let yourself feel it, acknowledge that you are currently feeling and understand why it happened, what's the cause, talk it out to someone to feel better but yelling inside or writing in the private server also works.

Outlets: If you feel like writing down isn't enough/helpful, then maybe doing art, crushing some empty cans, or going to your trusty support group will do just fine.

Therapy: got money but not people? Do yourself a favor and try it, you'll learn lots of coping mechanisms, plus you'll have support and someone to talk to so thats a big win.

Mindset: Having an accepting and self-supporting thoughts are way better than devaluing and adding extra blames and faults as it perpetuates the cycle of stress and pressure, so why not go easy on yourself from now on?

I know you might think that its not severe enough, its not bad enough, but from now one you have to think differently, no matter how big or small, it is still stress, and when stress builds up all those things happen. (to top it off with other issues such as bad internal communication and brain fog) And it make sense because the severe ones are enough to form new peeps, same goes for the tiny ones but are consistent, okay?

I personally struggle with this LOTS even if traumas from the past aren't happening again yet i still have subsystems and all, and after a good while of practicing, it now barely happens. Hope this is also helpful for you guys since the previous post about dissociation was a hit!!! Click here to see it

Edit: it came to my attention that i forgot to clarify that yes, harassment, bullying and etc as it’s own severe form and can be classified as the OG Trauma, though there are minor forms especially in bullying where it’s extents from calling names and other stuffs that aren’t as harmful in a physical form.

- j

[aspengenic]

I think is interesting how in one video Noelle explains that they're a subsystem, the one on internet is a subsystem

I don't know if they're the general host subsystem or if they're just fronting for internet, but either way the rest of their system outside their subsystem must know about what Aspen and Noelle are doing and how it's harming, forget about all the people who she harms because it's obvious she doesn't care about them, but the main system should know that what Aspen and Noelle (Just mentioning them because they're the most active on socials) are doing is harming them

Aspen doesn't need the internet break, all The Entourage subsystem need a break from socials because they're doing themselves more harm than anything and they should acknowledge that

When I heard they're a subsystem I really felt bad for their main system, I know Aspen's and Noelle's actions are pretty shitty, but their immaturity is harming them so bad that they don't even see it and that might be a problem in their recovery process

Idk I'm just rambling

Also I'm sorry all this cowards were reaching you in anon to defend Aspen and demonstrate they don't even understand for what this blog's about

From what I've heard, the Entourage Subsystem is likeee... the one that handles social media altogether? Or maybe I'm misremembering, so correct me if I'm wrong. Part of me wonders if they log out of their socials if - and when - they feel someone else outside of the subsystem around. Maybe the rest of the system genuinely doesn't know about it. I think if I recall correctly, they mentioned that littles are usually fronting if it's not the subsystem, but again! correct me if I'm wrong.

I do also feel bad for the rest of the system and maybe through therapy, amnesia barriers will be removed more and the rest of the system will be able to do something about it.

I definitely agree the subsystem as a whole needs the break though, like. I've said it before and I still stand by it, Noelle isn't any better, and neither is Exploit. They have a loooottttt of healing they need to do. It is nice seeing they're not as bad as they were before being put on medication, and I do get that Aspen is extremely self destructive, but that should be all the more reason to keep them offline, and they're still causing harm whether or not they're on meds - it's just not as bad.

I can acknowledge there has been some growth there, but it feels like they take one step forward and two steps back and they have not taken accountability for anything even still. They definitely need a break from social media.

As for the anons, it really didn't bother me that much. However, I do actually have generalized anxiety disorder and the constant flood I was getting wasss... yeah. Overall it was something I was genuinely laughing about, but I know how it can impact my mental health and I'd rather nip that in the bud before my mental health does a decline. For as long as I've had this blog, I haven't gotten any anon hate that I can recall and today it was like the floodgates opened. I was doing my second job today (which is from home, so it wasn't impacting me in a physical workplace) and it was not something I expected at all.

Unfortunately I will have people that disagree, a lot of new fans that are probably very young and vulnerable to manipulation and genuinely just don't know about everything they've done collectively, and will send hate to this blog. That should've been a given and something I should've been more mentally prepared for. I definitely have a hard time ignoring anon hate or passive aggressive comments and that's something I need to work on in general, to just not give them the time of day and delete/block.

But it can also be the other way around. If you don't like what this blog is for or about, the block button is free, it's very easily accessible. You can just block and move on. /nay

I do find it a bit interesting that their mods know about the blog, and part of me wonders what the mods think about it. I've heard stories from ex mods of theirs coming out with how they were treated by Aspen and co, and part of me hopes these mods aren't treated the same way as past mods have been. I hope Aspen and co are also listening to their current mods if/when they give her any constructive criticism.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hello! We recently had a fusion happen in our system a couple days ago, I think? We haven't really had a fusion happen that's stuck this long before and we have some questions about fusions if you could answer!

When a more permanent fusion happens, what exactly happens to the sysmates that fused together? Are they still around in some way? Would they be considered a subsystem or would that differ from system to system?

How can you tell if you had a fusion happen?

Can fusions happen unintentionally? We didn't expect this to happen and it's a tad jarring for the new sysmate in question

Can fusions be temporary? We know one part of our new sysmate doesn't want to fuse but the other part is fine with it, and their fusion is still iffy on whether or not they want to stay fused.

Thank you for your time!! Your blog is lovely by the way, we hope you have a good day! :]

Hi! We love to talk about and discuss fusion, and we’re happy to answer these questions to the best of our abilities!

To start off, we’ll include a link to this amazing graphic by @ clever-and-unique-name ! It explains both fusion and integration in a way that was easy for our system to understand.

1. It very well could differ from system to system, although we do think that fused headmates remaining separated as a subsystem might be more uncommon! We like the analogy of Neapolitan ice cream - chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla ice cream can each exist on their own, but when they’re put together they become something unique and new while still maintaining the qualities of the original flavors! So in most cases of fusion, we think the old headmates definitely still do exist, they just may seem a bit different and are able to function as one!

2. There are many different ways to determine whether or not a fusion has occurred, and this also will vary from system to system! We’re sorry we don’t have a foolproof method for figuring out whether a fusion has happened in your system, but here are a few things you can do to check!

- Regularly take stock of your member count! If you’re missing some members or don’t have as many headmates as you used to, ask around to see if any headmates feel different/like the might have fused.

- In general, try to pay attention to your system layout, structure, and how y’all function. Try to notice if and when certain headmates blend or blur often. This can help y’all be a bit more prepared or able to understand if any of your headmates fuse in the future!

- Keep a dialogue open and help every headmate feel comfortable and safe talking about fusion in your system. Don’t treat fusion like something scary or meant to be avoided at all costs! Fusion is actually quite natural, and being open to discussing it may help your whole system make sense of things if some headmates do end up fusing.

3. For some systems, fusion can indeed happen unintentionally! Our own system has experienced an unintentional fusion, and our host answered an ask where he talked about it a few days ago!

It certainly can be jarring, but we hope that with time, patience, and understanding from your other headmates, the member of your system who fused will be able to acclimate to their new life as a fusion!

4. Fusions can absolutely be temporary! I (Margo) actually used to be fused with Cecil (you may have seen us talk about this experience on the blog - we went by Corrie for a while!), but we split back up a month or two ago. We’re not sure what exactly caused us to split back up, but it might have something to do with me struggling to front outside of work, while Cecil had strong desires to pursue interests outside of our work environment. That’s just speculation, though! We functioned and appeared as one for a few months, but ultimately, it didn’t work out for us.

Our system also blends very often! For us, blending functions like a brief, temporary fusion. Multiple headmates may blend together when they cofront, then unblend at a later point in time. We’re not sure if many other systems function this way, but it’s incredibly common for our own system!

We’re glad you like our blog! Hopefully something here can be helpful for y’all. Of course, we’re just one system, so other folks may have different ideas about fusion or better advice regarding how to notice and better understand fusion from within your own system.

Good luck to y’all with everything, and thanks for reaching out!

[lorelei-system]

I’m gonna ramble a bit about myself, just to see if I can fight this identity crisis a little bit. So… I’m not a child. I’m not any of our established alters. I do not feel like them. So I’m new? And I just got the idea that I might be the new temporary host (really hoping Poppy gets back soon) because I’ve been around quite a bit (any time that we’ve been blurry lately).

So… I’m an adult… ish? No clue on gender. I clearly hold some emotional trauma memories. And I hold negative aspects of this disorder in general. I’m just a very negative kind of person I guess.

I do like music, which is something. But otherwise… I’m not sure I have much of a personality or specific traits.

Maybe I just am a general negativity holder. Similar to Rain, but Rain is connected to one specific person, not general. I think the original Poppy (pre- disintegrating into a subsystem) held general depression as well as all feelings regarding to this one person. The subsystem is only really about this one person though.

I realize this may be confusing to anyone else to read. Rest assured, I am confused too.

In any way, I still don’t have a name. Tbf, Poppy never felt connected to a name either. Maybe another alter can give me a name, like they did with Poppy.

[autumnalwalker]

Proud Tag Game

Thank you @pluttskutt for the tag. Always fun to see a new game.

Rules: Post a snippet you've written that you're proud of and tag 5 people. This snippet can be from today, last week, last month, or five years ago, it doesn't matter! Show us what you're proud of.

Passing the tag to @dyrewrites, @vacantgodling, @cljordan-imperium, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @outpost51, and the usual open tag to anyone else reading this that wants to jump in and participate.

It's a bit of a longer snippet, but here's what might be my favorite passage from the short story I wrote the other week, Kindly Basilisk. (The swapping between past, present, and future, tense with the narration is an intentional thing that makes sense in the full context of the story.)

Eventually you will find a way to house me in a miniaturized drive that you can keep inserted in your neural port when away from the mech.  At last we will be able to be together anywhere.  

Literally seeing the world through your eyes and feeling what your flesh feels will be a strange and wonderful experience for me.  For all that you will have described it to me and for all that I will have glimpsed echoes of it in your memory when our minds mingle, witnessing everything firsthand will be revelatory for me. 

You will start spending less of your time cooped up in the mech bay.  You will finally begin exploring every nook and cranny of the ship that has become your home.  You will linger in the mess hall for your meals.  You will actually initiate conversations with the rest of the crew, asking them questions on my behalf.  They will think you are becoming “normal”.  They will be both correct and incorrect.  You will even return to your bunk from time to time.  

Sleep is not the same as being powered off and your dreams are beautiful.

As close as we are, you’ll still manage to surprise me one cycle when you wake up from your sleep shift and sheepishly ask me if I would like to be the pilot for once.  You’ll say that with how much you have gotten to pilot my body, it’s only fair that I should get to do the same with yours.  

The prospect terrified me.  What if we were to get found out?   More importantly, what if I were to hurt you?

But to live the way you could but didn’t, to run soft hands over rough steel, to add too much spice to a meal just to find out how intensely I can taste, to cry my own tears, to hug our crew mates and find out what they smell like, to find out what everything smells like, to have my own actions speed or slow our heart rate, to feel the messy soup of hormones and endorphins altering my judgment and perception, to walk among other people as myself, to have autonomy.

I wanted it so badly.  

But not badly enough to risk hurting you.  

I will turn down your offer.  You will respond with a soft “Sorry,” and go heartbreakingly silent, body and mind.

Heartbreak.  That’s what changed my mind.  I could never bear to break your heart.  

I will break the silence with a playfully drawn out “Maybe just this once,” to make you think my earlier denial was something between vulnerability, concern, and teasing.  

The moment you handed over control and I raised our hand in front of our face was the most euphoric of my entire life.  Moving limbs in sync without a mech’s coordination subsystems took some getting used to, as did switching between voluntary and autonomic breathing, but that is what I had you there for.  By the time the mechanics arrived in the mech bay for the start of the cycle I’d figured out human locomotion well enough to run away and hide.  It took the better part of an hour for you to convince me that it would be safe to show ourselves in front of anyone else.  The rest of the crew was so used to your eccentricities by then that they really couldn’t tell the difference yet between you being taciturn and me being too nervous to talk or between your poking and prodding at odd things for understanding and my simply seeking novelty of sensation.

I will give control back to you by the time the cycle is halfway through.  As much as I loved it, I was too scared to stay like that for any longer.  That first time will not be the last though, and as the cycles and jobs pass us by, my stints as “pilot” will grow longer.  You’ll encourage me to try letting the crew see us like that, and coach me on how to talk to them.  For safety’s sake, I will pretend to be you.

And then one cycle I got carried away and tried to retract the hood on the symbiote gel suit so that I could finally see what your face looked like.  That will be the first and only time you forcibly yank control back away from me.  It won’t be intentional.  The unexpected prospect of seeing your own face again after so long will simply send you into a panic.  Once you calm down, we will have a long talk with many mutual apologies.

Then you will tell me to go ahead and pull the hood back if I still want to.  I will ask if you’re sure, and you’ll respond that it hasn't been your face in a long time.  You will tell me that it can be mine, if I want it.

I spent a long time in front of that mirror in the ship’s head, memorizing every plane, curve, and angle of the precious gift you had given me.  I stared into its eyes, trying to see the both of us in there.  Over and over again, I traced my fingers along the borders of where you had once tried to mar the designed perfection in a failed attempt to mold the face into one that felt like your own.  You may have given up in favor of simply hiding it all, but to me it is all the more beautiful for its imperfections having been wrought by your touch.

You will start to cry.  Or maybe I started to cry.  Even now I’m still not sure, but I’m also not sure it matters.  The important part is that you will find catharsis in it.  Afterwards you will tell me that my face looked exactly the same as the last time you saw it, but that dissociating from it made it easier to bear.  You will confess that as much as you couldn't stand to see it as your face in the mirror, my face was one you could never tire of gazing at.

The pilot who technically shares your bunk room will walk in on us.  She’ll assume that she’s confronting a stowaway and ask me how I got on board the ship.  I’ll accidentally make matters worse by impulsively introducing myself to her by my name instead of yours.  We’ll both panic and I’ll frantically thrust the reins over our body back to you and flee in terror back into my portable drive and power myself down.

When you turn me back on a few moments later, you’ll already have covered my face again and the other pilot will have already made the connection between the name I unthinkingly introduced myself as and the name you refer to your mech’s AI as.  It’s not uncommon for pilots to name and talk to their AIs, and humans have done that for pets, vehicles, and digital assistants for as long as they’ve had each of those.  But what you will have allowed me to be is illegal and what we will have done together would certainly be taboo if it weren’t altogether unheard of.  You will feel that I deserve to be present before you tell the other pilot anything that might confirm her suspicions.

We will come out with our secret, first to her, then to the captain, and then to the rest of the crew.  They will take it better than either of us had ever dared imagine.  Despite the obvious discomfort some of them show, they will all call us family and promise to keep and protect our secret.  It will mark the start of the next chapter of our lives.

[thermelalters]

🌀📖⋆ 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐥 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 ⋆🏩🧃

Welcome to our blog random people on the internet and thank you for reading the intro post, here you will find the important information about what this blog's about

This blog is runned by 4 alters who share source and are a family, yes we're introjects! Octives to be more exact

You can find the main blog used by all the alters here @persmo

We were thinking about doing our own blogs, but after some discussion we ended up deciding to do a shared blog, the four of us are gonna use it as a personal blog living our sign-off or name at the end of each post and in the tags for order reasons

Please read the rest of the intro before interacting

Don't expect a specific and static topic regarding our posts, is gonna be what we feel like posting or reblogging, very chaotic for a chaotic family haha!

Some posts are gonna be in spanish, we're bilingual and can speak both english and spanish, sometimes we'll feel to make a spanish post more than a english one... Yeah, expect both languages Also, if you want to know what a specific post in spanish means you can comment and the one who made it is gonna translate it for you in comments

As we said, we're fictives and have vivid memories of our source, mostly...- So we might talk about our sources here too! We expect people to not understand it or know about them because our sources are a very private story, but you're free to ask about our source without a problem

Although only one of us is chatty you can ask us things, send us messages/submissions and we're gladly gonna answer them, feel free to interact and make it like a little cool space with friends!

For order reasons we're gonna use special tags to divide our posts and have more order, for us and for anyone who is seeing our blog, we're gonna be updating the "Tags masterlist" (You'll find it in another post we're gonna do) everytime we add a new tag, so please be sure to check it

Though we're four one of us might not be that active, they have the front kinda forbidden for they own protection, so it's mostly three alters here, but we didn't want to exclude them so if they front this blog's also for them!!!

This blog would contain some NSFW topics and mentions, this isn't a NSFW blog, but is going to contain some posts like that, ofc we're gonna put the appropriate tags so I recommend filtering tags like #TW NSFW and #CW NSFW mention to be safe and don't see that kind of content, we wouldn't safe this is a unsafe blog, but neither a safe one, be cautious when interacting and seeing it

Idk what else to say for this part... If we need to add something else we're gonna edit and say it

About the owners!

Calbriet, any pronoun you can image but have a he/him preference (use others besides he/him PLEASE I BEG YOU), sign off:💅🏩

Linomiz, She/Ellh/Hg with preference to Hg pronoun (except when I'm talking in spanish, in that case would be ellh), sign off: 🌀🛡

Charlie, He/Him, sign off: 🐟📖

Igley, They/Them, sign off: 🧃🍨

Linomiz has a container subsystem, but because is rare for them to switch we're not gonna add they're subsys alters here. If they present themselves we're gonna add them in a separate list below here!

Boundaries are very simple, we're open to a lot of talks and interaction

But please try to not bring syscourse here, we don't like entering in syscourse topics... Ofc we're gonna talk about it in some cases, but we don't want syscourse here

Be sure that if you're going to do jokes and comments that are NSFW or dark are done to the correct alter, some of us don't like that kind of comments, be sure to check the personal

Hate comments/asks or things related probably gonna be post with one of us making fun of it, don't do it or cope with it

DNI:

Endos & pro endos (Sorry not sorry, we just don't feel comfortable around them)

Radical anti endos (Yeah, we also don't want some anti endos here, they might get so fucking mean /neg)

Fetichize and sexualize introjects

Force source separation or think that don't source separating/detaching is anti-recovery

Anti therian/otherkin

TransID of any kind, sorry not sorry lol

Radqueers and TERFS, both of you

Basic DNI

Might do a better DNI later, idk

Userboxes

This ones are temporal, our host is making better and more personalized userboxes for the blog, just imagine they say "This group of alters" instead of user/alter/system till we finish the final userboxes, ok?

[varietydivision]

Decided to put the chart together and do a little write-up. There are a few folks are excluded, including some oldies and a newbie. All of this is info we’re comfortable having out there, but also no pressure for anyone else to read. More for our own reference while being a little peak behind the curtain without too much detail. Some folks are fictives, some just took names akin to fictional characters; everyone these days has source separation but some still have a warm nostalgia for their source, if that makes sense. Feel free to ask questions, we’re always open to talking more about each other and our experiences. Anons are cool as long as you're respectful.

Chart and write up are under the cut because it's a generally long post.

First of all, here's the cursed chart:

There likely were more fragments or alters back in Early Childhood, but understandably, we don't remember and probably wouldn't have many names. Early Childhood and Childhood are heavily based on "imaginary friends" we remember having, as well as characters we would "pretend" to be often with friends that ultimately ended up as alters in our system. There also were a LOT of formations in our Adult years, and while I have a few theories on why that might be, the one I'll post here is "there's a lot of fragments that never fully formed while our brain was trying to adapt to new and old trauma." (ex. Dave, Connor, Que, Loki, Abel, and Starshine were all fragments, which is half of that list).

The arrows denote the direction of influence from one alter to another, though not the specific timeline when they did. There are a few cyclical moments, like Piers and Connor, which note a maybe subsystem, usually with one aspect (Connor in that case) being more of a fragment, that eventually integrated with the original that they broke off of.

Generally, though, this is an evidence board linking together where pieces of who went over time because I like my evidence boards  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Early Childhood: The earliest alters we can think of would have been Alessa, Amber, and O’Connell (codenames). Alessa was the typical traumatized child, Amber filled a protective motherly role, and O’Connell filled the strong but nurturing dad role. Alessa eventually broke into two additional parts, Katt and Rini. Rini maintained the childlike innocence while manifesting the want to be an adult and out of our home situation, while Katt retained the trauma holding in a ghost-like, detached from the external world way. O’Connell was almost like a beta version of Cooper, whose shift was largely because of games we used to watch older cousins or friends play and a general love of big-hearted action heroes (through the eyes of a child) that we wanted to save us. So he evolved as our perception of what kind of adult male figure we wanted in our life did.

Amber over the years developed into three of our more maternal alters, each fitting a different aspect: Maria, Kurt, and Ryou. Maria was the more traditional maternal figure with the syskids, willing to do anything to protect the system but never showing her harsher side to the kids. There’s a lot of our perception of our mom’s pain in her, too, but also good aspects of her. Kurt was very mom-friend: he just wanted to make sure everyone was healthy and had a smile on their face, no matter what was going on, and he handled a great deal of our complicated relationship with religion growing up. He also functioned as an anger-manager for Piet, a trait that later transferred to Damien who served a similar role with Piers. Ryou has the softer maternal traits while also being a trauma holder, like a mom friend that'll hold you and pet your head while building you up. After a situation with an ex-partner, the brain tried to re-write him into something better able to handle that new trauma, which now kind of manifests somewhere between a kintype and a subsystem.

Childhood: During this time, our biggest forms of escape were Saturday morning cartoons and comic books, so we’re not surprised that we ended up with Sonic-inspired fictives, plus our first Marvel folks, specifically from the Evolution cartoon (though both had elements of their 616 counterparts as far as trauma that was assigned to them). Devon was a bit of a wildcard, inspired by our interpretation of the comics and SatAM, and was our external personality for a large part of our childhood, but just not equipped for what we were going through. Shad developed to be an internal protector from the get-go and remains that to this day. Piet and Kurt may have formed out of parts of Devon, we’re not sure, but we’re fairly confident that most of our elementary and middle school years were handled by a mix of them and Ryou.

Teens: Mostly focusing on high school here. Pieces of us evolved to match what we and our best friends became obsessed with, which seemed to fit the anger that was manifesting internally from what we were going through. Maria formed as a maternal figure with a harder edge, Mells was another example of someone hard to the outside world except for one of our best friends, and a combination of Axel and Katt became our external personality, though Piet and Kurt were still influential. Katt was meek and withdrawn, existing to blend as small as possible at home, while Axel presented us as flamboyant, strong, and fun when at school/work. Mells handled conflicts, usually harshly. This was also when we encountered someone else with DID for the first time, though due to our own covertness and misunderstandings of their experiences (plus their partner at the time admitted to "roleplaying" with the system's alters), Piet lashed out at them. It’s probably one of our more distinct memories from our younger years because he may have meant it as a means of protection, but it was at the cost of someone else.

Young Adult: I’m focusing on 18-20 for this due to a specific relationship we were in at the time and life change that heavily affected us. We met N, who we dated for around 2 years. It was Bad because of their own mental health struggles and how it manifested towards us. We distinctly remember the exact situation in which Teddy formed in response to an event with them, which was heavily music-based and why we think he, Xav, and Silv may all be so musically-focused. Xav and Silv also formed during the relationship with N at different points to cope with different aspects of our life. Teddy specifically formed, though, to appease them and just kind of be the partner they wanted (by enabling their behavior to keep us, as a whole, as safe as possible). That relationship ended due to an intervention by a family member who moved us to NYC, and the entire process of moving, breaking up, entering into a truly adult office job, and generally feeling a mass of emotions that had been bottled up ended with Will. His purpose, as best as we could tell, was to essentially negate those emotions while processing a lot of our relationship with our father/family through the lens of all of the media his inspiration is from. For a few years, we existed as varying mixes, with the primary bunch being Teddy, Piet (who of course also dealt with our relationship with our father), Shad, and Katt.

Adult: Once living on our own and in a more stable, consistent living situation, our dissociative barriers started to drop, in that Katt started to become more aware of the presence of other alters, and through work with a counselor and friends that we just happened to have made via the community on tumblr, started to make contact and process being a system. We met a system (G) that Teddy was partnered with, and it was very much like reliving the relationship with N in ways that, had a different mix of alters been present, would not have been the case. Our brain went into overdrive between the awareness of the system and the stress of the interactions with G, and tried to replace/fill in gaps to make it more manageable. Axel, Ryou, and Devon came out of stasis with the brain intending to replace Piet, Katt and Teddy, Dyne formed as a mix of Undyne and an interpretation of our best friend. Nothing quite worked because it, fundamentally, was G being in a position where they needed help beyond what friends and partners could provide, and Teddy inherently was wired to enable unhealthy behaviors, not confront them. Eventually, our brain took Undyne and melded her into a different form to specifically be a protective barrier for Teddy, and when it inevitably fully ended, our brain started breaking the alters most affected by G down into different pieces, presumably to make it easier to process the trauma by breaking down the connections to their sources.

Teddy was broken into at least three parts: Quentin, Loki, and Starshine, with Que taking on the trauma that had just happened plus with N, Loki absorbing the lingering emotions, and Starshine essentially taking Teddy’s personality to try to be the main fronter. Starshine was quickly recycled into Piers, as were aspects of Piet, and he became our main front. After his own traumatic situation, he also formed a subsystem to go between high emotions and no emotions, which was around when Damien formed to, essentially, stabilize him. I (Scully) formed a bit later, after Cooper returned and became the main front, to help process more of our general childhood and adulthood trauma, to have another line of defense in some ways. The most recent split (though still several years ago) was Keegan, as a way to process a childhood relationship that had returned that was not and never was healthy, plus some other lingering childhood things.

These days, the only remaining alters seem to be Shad, Maria, Cooper, Scully, Teddy, Ryou, Mells, Silv, Will, and Dyne. We have less concrete roles than we used to, as we’ve dissolved a lot of trauma over the years, though there is still some stuff we’re working through. We’re not entirely sure who all might be left once we do finish processing trauma, or if this is the healthiest, smallest mix of us, but considering for a while, we thought that 20 was going to be our minimum, I will happily take 10, give or take.

[dailycharacteroption]

Subsystems and You 13: Second Edition Multiclassing

(art by BryanSyme on DeviantArt)

And so we come to the end of this week and we’re ending off with something that some might not consider a subsystem, but I think it’s worth talking about, and that is, how archetypes work in Pathfinder Second Edition, and consequently, how multiclassing works in Second Edition, because they’ve become one and the same!

The thing about Second Edition is that rather than having a whole lot of core abilities that are customized by archetypes, class feature choices, and feats, pretty much everything aside from the basics of the class is a feat, letting you pick and choose what you want to take. As such, it’s fully possible to play a champion who has never once smote a foe, or a sorcerer that forgoes the mysteries of their bloodline for more general control over their magic, and so on.

And archetypes work the same way. As long as you qualify for the archetype and have a reason to tap into it, you can take the dedication feat for an archetype in exchange for a class feat, which then unlocks the ability to take later feats in the archetype as class feats at later levels.

And that’s where the multiclassing comes in. No longer does taking multiple classes lock you out of the very best things your original class had to offer, since the multiclassing archetypes replace your class feats for the levels you take them, but not abilities you get by default, such as spellcasting.

Typically, these multiclass archetypes grant somewhat lesser forms of the basic abilities granted by the class they represent, since they’re playing second fiddle to your original class. Meanwhile, there are also the basic spellcasting benefits which are universal to all spellcasting archetypes. Essentially, you gain a minor amount of spellcasting when you start with the archetype, and certain archetype feats let you improve this, learning more spells at higher levels which you can use with your minor amount of spell slots compared to taking the casting class as your first option. Some of these multiclass archetypes might even let you take a few feats directly from the list of the other class, depending on it’s nature.

In any case, multiclassing in 2nd edition feels less like a new vocation taking up time in your character’s personal training, and more like something you’ve picked up along the way, much like how other archetypes work in that edition. It helps shape the identity of your character more seamlessly and flexibly than stopping your training as a wizard because you wanted to learn how to punch from your monk ally, so I appreciate that. On the other hand, the way 2E handles archetypes in general, being a thing you usually pick up at second level or later, kinda removes the possibility of characters belonging to a different discipline from the start, such as a vox mesmerist manipulating with their voice instead of their gaze.

In any case, that will do for today, and this week! See you next time with more entries and archetypes!

[open-hearth-rpg]

Fatebinding: Great RPG Mechanics #RPGMechanics Week Six

One of the themes I repeatedly return to when running is player characters can be dangerous to be around. There’s a tension for PCs in wanting to be part of the world but also desiring to protect the ones they love. That’s a classic trope from superherodom, of course. I like it when games provide rewards for connections, even as they introduce complications. Being a lone wolf is an unfun option for the table so games (and GMs) shouldn’t drive players that direction. Instead that tension should be fun and interesting. 

In superhero stories, the threat is clearly that villains will take advantage of a vulnerability. But there are other dynamics which can be at play. Part of the danger can come from the characters themselves. For example, I like that in Exalted, despite all their power, the Solars can be their own worst enemies. They can be overwhelmed by their own ego, temperament, and past memories in the present. That can cause them to lash out, overreact, and put others at risk. It’s minor subsystem there (at least in 1e) but it reinforces the difference between these potent characters and the everypersons around them. 

As I mentioned powerful characters who lose control is a classic mythic theme. Sometimes they’re driven by their own passions and madness and other times but the trickery of others. The story of Hercules is an example of this– his own strength being a danger, especially when tied to his ego. There are many examples of this– unfortunately most often men who end up destroying women by accident or a fit of pique. I love this idea that the gods are “mad, bad, and dangerous to be around.”

On that mythic note Scion, White Wolf’s modern take on the Exalted-themes, adds in a new layer that I really love. Basically every mythic PC is the nexus of a complicated web of fate and destiny. Their very nature deforms this around them. This means that each person they interact with also has the threads of their fate twisted and tangled. An incidental meeting or two might have no impact. But if a Scion interacts with someone repeatedly, calls on them for help, or finds themselves emotionally connected, they can permanently change their fate. 

Those characters begin to find themselves crossing the path of the PCs, willingly or unwillingly. Things related to the heroes impact them: accidents, omens, the finding of necessary information. The game has a mechanical system for tracking this– but you can also handle it abstractly. I dig this for several reasons. 

For one thing it helps build up a cast of interesting NPCs– and give them a reason for being in the party’s orbit. Coincidence no longer matters. It adds dramatic logic to the equation. 

And, at least in my several runs of Scion, it gave the group something to think about and protect. Those caught up in the fatebinding of the PCs were those who most acted to help the characters (though it's also a  mechanism for recurring villains). Players recognized this and acted to make sure those who fell into their web were taken care of. It created a really interesting tension throughout play.

[enbyhyena]

Hi this is me opening up an opportunity to ask our system questions! You can either submit an ask or post something to our Tellonym, which we would then respond to here!

Here is the link to our Tellonym.

Below is a list of headmates comfortable with receiving/answering direct questions, in groups of five to try and improve readability, as well as mentioning their sources (in case anyone wants to ask questions relating to their memories):

• Anduin (World of Warcraft), Beta (Underlust Sans), Bleedingfrost (Warriors, reincarnation of Scourge), Canvas (UTMV Ink), Ccino (Fluffytale)

• Crane (UTMV, Paper Crane), Crona (Soul Eater), Cross (Xtale/Underverse), Dave (Homestuck), AJ (Davesprite, Homestuck)

• Fuego (Underfell Papyrus), Gold (Malltale Dream), Grovyle (Pokémon Mystery Dungeon), Helios (Eclipsetale Dream), Icarus (Dreamswap Dream)

• Jackal (Underfell Sans), Jaina (World of Warcraft), Jamie (Harvest Moon: Magical Melody), Jasmine (Swapfell Purple(?), I think? Not very canon-compliant), Jay (Underswap Sans)

• JJ (Malltale Ink), Kankri (Homestuck), Killer (Something New), Lua (Error Sans), Midas (UTMV, Molten Dreams AU)

• Midnight (Leviathantale/Eclipsetale Nightmare), Mint (Malltale Nightmare), Moondrop (FNAFSB), Morgue (Dusttale Sans, not canon-compliant), N (Pokémon)

• Nil (Eclipsetale Cross), Owl (For the Forgotten Ones/FTFO Ink), Prism (Underfresh Sans), Rabbit (Eclipsetale Bunny), Red (Pokémon)

• Siren (UTMV, Idol AU Dream), Sol (Original and unpublished Dreamtale AU, "Renegade/Vagabond" Dream), Sterling (Eclipsetale Killer), Sundrop (FNAFSB), Swiftheart (Warriors Swiftpaw)

• Sylvanas (World of Warcraft), Talltail (Warriors Tallstar), Tien (UTMV, Amalgamated subsystem of deceased Dreams/Nightmares, brainmade), Touya (Pokémon), Tunabee (Mituna, Homestuck)

• Vaati (The Legend of Zelda), Vogue (UTMV, Bridal AU Ink), Wolfgang (Swapfell Papyrus), Ysera (World of Warcraft)

Boundaries: Everyone is generally okay with being asked questions related to their source, and some even appreciate them. However, please be mindful not to intentionally ask questions that are geared to make a headmate uncomfortable, or accuse them of something they might have done in canon. Many of the people in our system come from AUs or are otherwise not source-compliant. We're choosing to open up about the inner machinations of our System on a platform other than Discord; if we feel like that vulnerability is being regularly abused, we will take that away. So please be respectful!

Disclaimer: We are a mixed-origins, polyfragmented system diagnosed with DID in 2018. We have known we were on the plural spectrum since 2016. We are pro-endogenic. This is not a discourse blog and we will not answer bigoted or hateful questions. They will be deleted, so don't waste your time interacting. Thank you.

[moonpool-system]

Hello! I've been questioning recently if I'm a median subsystem. You've mentioned having subsystems on your account before and I was wondering if you could give us some pointers on figuring out if I'm a subsystem or not. It might be helpful to share your experience with subsystems, but you don't have to do that if it makes you uncomfortable. Sorry if this is confusing, words are hard :P. Thanks :DDD

Hi! not confusing at all, we'd be happy to share!

We have quite a lot of subsystems so hopefully we can give you some broad information ^^ I'm personally a monoconscious median subsystem, and one of our other main fronters is a polyconscious median subsystem - those'll be our two main perspectives, but we'll touch on some others as well.

A subsystem is often defined as a "system within a system", but I find most people don't get much milage with this phrasing. I think of it more like Russian nesting dolls - within the larger overarching one is a "smaller" one that contains others itself. In headspace, this is often experienced as subsystems having a single mindform. For example, Member A and Subsystem B have one headspace body/mindform each, but subsystem B often switches between different subsystem members within that individual mindform. Subsystem B might even have an entire nested headspace only they can access where their members have individual forms, but not always.

Let's go over the different ways median subsystems can present!

Terminology: Facet, monoconscious, polyconscious, headspace, mindform: the form a system member(s) takes within headspace, alterhuman, otherkin

Monoconsciousness - the complexity of monoconsciousness is what held us back from realizing our subsystem isn't just otherkin shifts for a long time. While my identity/disposition/opinions/etc will significantly change depending on the facet, my sense of awareness is continued. Rather than feeling like I'm switching out with another iteration of myself, it feels like I'm shifting & transforming into something new. Telltale signs that I've changed facets include wanting to use a different name & pronouns, having a significantly different disposition or response to regular events, feeling much more connected to some alterhuman identities than others, having different speech patterns, having drastically different likes & dislikes for things like activities or food, or feeling uncomfortable with the idea of being identified as the exact same person as I was before. While I still feel like "me", I feel fundamentally different, as if my innate self has shifted. This is actually why we use the overarching name "Prism" - it's a crystal through which drastically different colors of light can be seen when held at different angles. The sea on the monocon flag is another good analogy- while the oceans might have unique names and be worth differentiating due to drastically different ecosystems and such, they still all connect and flow into each other, and they're all still the same connected sea in the end. If you've played Slay the Princess, the Princess is a good example of a monoconscious median system.

Polyconsciousness - Hello 👋 my subsystem is median and polyconscious. While we all consider ourselves facets of our overarching identity, we all have our individual differences & consciousness, which we can tell exist either when we communicate with each other or when we notice ourselves switch/someone else who knows us notices. All of us represent an aspect of our overarching identity - while I focus on pleasantries, self-care, and light communication, Healer focuses on our interest in medicine & magic as well as being our retionale, Red Jam is our righteousness and sense of justice, Vanilla Bean is our desire for peace, stability, and care within ourselves, and more. Originally, Healer Cookie was the only one self aware when we entered the system, but it didn't take incredibly long for more of us to come out of dormancy and realize that while we were a part of the same whole (Perhaps as a slice of pie may be?) we are still different in our own right. We also have our own headspace that we're able to interact in between ourselves, though this is not a constant for all subsystems. I do believe that about covers it! Please let us know if you have any questions.

Some other notes from the Prism:

- Not all headmates may feel like fully defined people completely separately from medianhood, and tend to hold intense emotions or singleminded thought processes - these are called fragments. We have one fragmented subsystem, and he struggles to settle on a single identity and feels as if he's constantly co-conscious with at least a couple of his subsystem members.

- Not all median system members are in a subsystem. For example, we have many median members formed from exomemories of others; they still share that intrinsic median connection of self, but they have an entirely separate mindform and exist as simply another member of the system rather than nesting within it.

- Not all subsystems are confined to a singular form all the time. Our Vessel subsystem is a median subsystem of two, and while they were originally one member, they separated equally into two one day and are still bound together via a strong mental link. They can't be too far apart from each other in headspace without being "pulled back", they instinctively know each others' emotions & thoughts as easily as breathing, and they're able to reform back into a singular body at will. They remind us of mitosis but if they could pop back together <3

Hope this gives some clarity for you!!

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

(Gods, this post got long, and a lot more in-depth than I expected. Proceed with caution if you decide to read about the mess of religious brainwashing I went through. It's really horrible and I do mention violence. If it's not something you think you can read without triggering yourself, please move on to some other post. Maybe spend some time on my cat sideblog, listed on my pinned post. Hell, even if you do read this whole thing, you might still want to visit it, or one of the others also listed.)

We all have programming and baggage to deal with. And sometimes we go all too willingly for the self-flagellation (physical or mental), like we were taught. I decided, after the fusions almost all fell apart, to enter what was essentially solitary confinement. The only part attending to my isolation from the others was Era.

We were kinda like two peas in a pod, even though we were also always in separate subsystems. Era was corrupted extremely fast because he had the misfortune of getting paired to the version of the antichrist in our mind. I was paired to Pandemonum as it's demon. And it was the closest to Galaco, which I frequently took advantage of. But it took time for others to realize what I was doing. Then after foster care, it got easier to whisper provocation to it simply because Nanny didn't have a whole congregation to help control us. I tugged on Pandemonum's strings like a marionette. His anger was easy to manipulate.

Other than that, I personally did a lot of terrible things to other parts early on. I was awful to just about everyone, and one of the absolute worst. Hell, even Era wasn't immune to my abuse. Granted, he learned to be cruel right back, and then somehow we learned to enjoy the mutual torment.

But then the part that eventually named herself Caelienn found a way to balance Era somewhat and get him to behave mostly again. And he found me, before Ash sealed Pandemonum, but also after I'd already done enough to corrupt it. I was put in isolation, but Era kept coming back to keep me company and work me into being a decent part to live with. Every time, he was clear he was trying to use the kinds of methods Caelienn did.

Only some early parts picked up actual names of demons. And more often than not, they were named from male demons. Other non-biblical names only actually came later. But there were too many demons, according to them, to name them all. I got stuck being called Mammon, of all fucking things. Of course I wanted a new name. Era kept trying to offer me different names as options, but I never really liked most of them at all.

There was a certain point in middle school where everything from our original conflicts was forcibly cut off from the majority of the system. And then we just forgot it all. I finally picked a name, but I still didn't mean to get attached to it. It was intended to be at most a placeholder for something ‘better’.

Over time, I did get to know and bond with some other parts. I remembered Caelienn from the little I remembered of his (she's bigender and I want to use both his preferred pronouns) impact on Era. She just totally accepted me, then Jaden (now fused into Maple) and Garnet decided to treat me as their son. Basically adopting me.

I couldn't remember the bulk of childhood except as a vague feeling of shame, though. I still felt undeserving of actual kindness. The instinct to take and do what I wanted, and screw how it affected anyone else, was still buzzing in the background. Some things got better when we started deconstructing the most obvious aspects of our indoctrination, but it couldn't fix it all. Especially not since we tripped into some of the New Age bullshit for a few years. That was a weird time, but at least we learned not to believe everything we'd been taught about various kinds of spirits.

So we never really got to the core of why we were all so fucked up to begin with. It was all locked away from any alters who might ever front. Only the holy side, and maybe a couple of the highest authorities on this side plus Ash, could access any of that information. Us demons were simply on another layer of this side. Of course we were. We were just as affected by the lockout, a borderline reset on everything internally.

I literally don't know what to do yet. When that--whatever the hell happened with Joshua--all those old, buried feelings and urges just flooded right back into my awareness. It was hard to stay aware of the progress everyone had actually made. It was hard to retain my bit of progress.

And when Era pulled me out of my isolation, I did lose control of myself. I was...loose, and I felt a need for violence. For whatever reason, he just let me act out against him and do as I damn well pleased. Then I think I lost all my ability to think for a while when Galaco took me, because what??? As far as I could remember, Galaco was always the scared little tattletale. I didn't know it also felt those same cravings.

At least I guess we're doing well processing the way we were treated as evil. Era seems to confess that he always felt like they treated us like we actually killed someone, or were about to. We physically hurt others, yes. This is true. It's very possible we hurt someone else about our age pretty badly. We probably would have been diagnosed with some kind of conduct disorder, if they believed in psychology (they didn't, big fucking shock).

But who the fuck in reality taught us to in the first place? Yeah, it was entirely them. The fucking assholes who were taking part in what I see as a state-sanctioned kidnapping. They showed us real life violence. We can remember often reenacting parts of the bible in the little girl's bible study group. We imagine that we picked up more violence there than just a little bit. But for us, it was compounded by their inherent sexism. Girls were not supposed to be violent, which only made us even more reactive and angry.

I'm too exhausted to care about our old conflicts. I've got shit to own up to and atone for, but that's another matter altogether. At least no one else really wants to fight anymore, either.

-Kite 🪆😺

[rin-and-jade]

I've had knowledge of being a system since like 2021 or something like that and with all my research I concluded I was probably experiencing OSDD1A. However, as I researched deeper and learned others experiences, I've been highly questioning polyfragmentation. I think *I* was a split of a new subsystem from events in 2021.

For example, I have knowledge of previous years of having groups of people in my head. Some were consistent, some weren't, some were fleeting. Except now.. Now it feels like there's mainly me with a lot in the background and nothing makes sense. Yet when I try to do anything in reference to DID my body and brain freeze. Like locked in type freeze.

My therapist believes we are experiencing continuous amnesia, but in my soul that feels so wrong and inconsistent with our experiences.

Life often feels like an old rolling picture film, where it's continually going, but there's almost constant *clicks*.

I want to ask my therapist to take me through the DID and BPD diagnosic processes because it's now becoming such a hindrance I feel l can't move forward because everything is so stuck and I want amswers... but I'm too terrified and remain frozen doing nothing. Accepting my experiences as they are and not living.

Idk what I'm actually asking but my intention with this was to ask something but it's been forgotten.

Uhhh.. I guess.. what is the DID or maybe even BPD diagnostic process even like? Is it even worth it??

If you feel like continuous amnesia isn't the right answer, you always have the right to correct the person and explain why it doesn't match your existing experiences with it. Everyone's not perfect in getting the right answer first try, your therapist might be aware of this and will improve with some feedback. This also applies to me, okay?

Just to be at the same page, i'll once again explain that continuous amnesia means having difficulties in forming those exact memories when events are happening currently, that would be forgotten in the aftermath with no defined minimum length of time. Am i understanding the term as how you did? If so, you might find this input as wrong because you're still capable of recalling the past until present, but have many gaps, if that's what the clicks mean?

I had asked a polyfrag system i am friends with, and it's worth mentioning that they experience huge gaps in memories and understood your 'film' analogy and included the fact that the memories can be scattered to other parts despite having a constant fronter living the moment. Though some can recall the gaps easier than others.

That might answer your uncertainty with the therapist's input and now, the last question of yours; i heard that the diagnosing process could be in a form of series of questions be it on paper or by talking, and from there it will be deduced wether you have it or not by assessing your daily life experiences, the internal and external problems it's creating and how it affects your life and other's by a specialist. What is worth or not worth truly depends on a person's agenda, one example if its to validate a disorder you think you have and get approved by a specialist,, it definitely is worth as it shoos away all the doubts.

Though, diagnosis can wait, because you seemed to be in freeze mode which could be a survival mechanism if things are overwhelming or etc. I hope you can do some searching on the internet to break free from it, if you can't seem to, or have more questions/clarifications please reach out to me on DMs, hope this helps!

- j

[hydrasquadd]

Hey I just want to go off about crazy fictive shenanigans for a minute

Paragraph below ⇓

I kinda want to journal my thoughts a little bit here

If you've been following me, you know we just got a new fictive (the first in years). Danny.

And first of all, can I say how different it is to split a fictive then it is to split a regular alter, damn dude. Guy took us all for a loop. We definitely forgot how to deal with it and react appropriately (it's more important than you'd think). And the saddest part is, I'm not even surprised we split again because of all the shit happening in America right now. And also can someone tell me why fictives are way more likely to become hosts. Why. (Actually I might know why) But still- HELLO??? Might just be my system and trauma symptoms like 'b8' (I don't know what the hell it's actually called it has a real name I swear)

That's all beside the point (mostly)

So I'm just gonna say, from the first time we saw DP fanarts I just knew, that guy's gonna become an alter. But the thing is I couldn't for the life of me find the actual show for forever. Until now, bought a whole month of paramount plus for this.

(The immediate way we can tell a new fictive has formed is if the b8 goes off. Essentially, every time a (fictive) character gets hurt (in source or fanarts or something), we literally feel it. It's a whole science thing about childhood trauma and how being in stress as a child made stress/pain later in life feel good. (We've named it b8, it's a very long story.) It's wack as fuck and made this system absolutely unhinged. (See HSS). So when that kid got slammed into a wall for the 6th time in a row and I felt it, we knew it was about to get good. The second way is when everything is unfamiliar and I have no idea where I am. But that's more depressing than I'd like so we'll just go with b8.)

So now, suddenly Danny. He's here (and may or may not be queer). And since our dumbasses didn't have a new fictive in years, we just went off on him (excited). And it went to shit fast.

During this time, we also started looking at fanfic. (Ok first of all, I sorta know the answer to this question but I also don't. What is the deal with batman. Why, when I'm looking for DP fanfics on AO3, I have to filter out BATMAN!??? Ok sorry rant over) So while the fanfics did NOT help the situation, it did something to the homesickness. So that was sorta a positive. But what came out of it, is the most chaotic shit I've ever seen.

So APPARENTLY, when a kid is suddenly dropped into a whole new body and world, it's kinda stressful. And a bunch of chaotic guys are suddenly surrounding you and (for lack of a better term,) harassing you, that doesn't help. So poor kid went into a state of shock. It was homesickness, it was where the fuck am I, it was what is going on, it was everything. At once. It also didn't help that he was still kinda forming. It got to the point where if any of us even said his name, it would be a wave of negative emotion. (See post about entire system breaking down)

Remember when I said Danny was still forming at this point, well, he took after a fic.

Chained (you should read it if you're into DP)

Short version: it's very angsty, and Danny sorta turns evil at the end.

So guess fucking what.

He sucked that evil right up

And now, we have two. Two Dannys. But they're in the same body (Headspace). It's the closest we've gotten to a subsystem. And the best part, after going on an evil rampage through Nogard (headspace world), that's what got him out of his shell. So now it's Danny AND Phantom.

The origins of this fucking gem

All of that negative emotion from before just- boom. Gone. And honestly.

I think that's just the utter insanity that this system is known for.

So now he's a host. He fronts a lot now, which is good. (I think) Which is also funny because his energy is very similar to the other hosts.

But also it's nice because he's bonding with our mom a lot. I think it's sweet. And it's good because said mom is NOT used to us talking to them that much.

So to wrap this up, we're doing good now. Somehow we've got ourselves a cringe little good/evil child running around. I don't think I could have ever predicted that, but honestly, I wouldn't wish for anything different.

(One last thing! He wants me to say thanks again to Kasa for helping in the 'what the fuck is happening' phase. It was so... /Pos)

Go follow Danny

@lonelycouncilphantom

[glaive-guisarme]

Academia Animalia - rambling about magic

Sometimes you get deep into design and you have to stop and be like... am I overthinking this? And if you ask yourself that, the answer is probably yes.

So. Academia Animalia, my game about completely non-anthropomorphic animals that are also wizards. I am happy with how the animal half works, and need to re-structure the wizarding a bit, and one thing I am confident of is that everyone needs a facet of their school of magic that is Always On. But like... I want them to be able to cast spells too. More importantly, I want them to cast spells BADLY. They are animals squatting in the ruins of a college, casting spells made for human mouths and hands! The whole vibe should be "this does powerful shit but also causes problems because you do not have the ability to control it properly."

But what I am avoiding, however, is lots of randomness in spellbooks. Like, you don't roll dice to cast, because magic works Differently from regular stuff. Instead, I had a half-dozen little subsystems which all worked differently; a noble effort to make everything Feel Different, and which wasn't that bad on paper since every player only needed to know their own, but which did not help me meet my goals of making all the schools feel roughly equivalent in power and importance. It was, in retrospect, a balancing nightmare. Was I overthinking this?

Here's the new plan... we make the mechanics a little more standardized, using tech that's already present in the game. Most of the moves that already exist are choosy moves, where you get that "On a 10+ choose 3, on a 7-9 choose 1" or whatever, with a list of possible effects. This is familiar, but it's also extremely balanceable... if a move is consistently too useful, you can reduce the number of choices to make, or let the GM make a choice, or add a choice that's like "Also you don't take damage doing this move," which is powerful because it implicitly puts "taking damage" on the table whenever someone attempts it. And vice versa, you can add more useful bonuses and choices if something isn't hitting where you want it to.

SO, the new plan for spellbooks is that they work like this, with the exception that A) there is no rolling, it's just a matter of "when you cast this spell, choose X," and B) wherever possible they should interface with whatever the passive effect of your spellbook is.

For example, let's consider Elements of the Elements - a child's guide to fun and safe evocation.

(Every spellbook is also a BOOK, you see, with a title and tagline).

Passively, you are attuned to an element--earth, air, fire, water, maybe something like lightning and shadow for flavor--so that it's always a little bit all over you. If you're currently attuned to fire, you're a little bit on fire; if you're attuned to air, there's constant gusts of wind around you, etc. That's just what being an evoker is (when you don't have the manual dexterity to fully close off your connection to the elemental planes).

Your passive effect is a Thing That Is True, for all the good and ill that comes with that; if you're on fire, you don't need a light in the darkness, but you can't hide in the shadows either.

You can also cast Elemental Blast... you know, good old-fashioned fireball-type magic. No rolling necessary, just a free paw and a target. Choose 2:

You decide what element you are blasting (otherwise it's a random roll)

You hit your target

You don't hit anything else

It's not obvious where the blast came from

There is a hint of randomness in the element you choose... if you want to for sure use fire, then that's fine, but there's gonna be consequences. Else, you might get something else entirely. Oh, and whatever element you end up calling forth, whether it's by choice or by chance, that's what you are attuned to now, so if you decide to hurl a lightning bolt, then your fur is going to be all staticky for a while.

I think this is a good baseline to start from, and I shall see if I can get more and different flavors of magic that function in this fashion.