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#but in the process they're just killing more and more people when they don't even KNOW if a cure is possible
gingermintpepper · 5 days
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As usual I read your tags always and so you said Apollo did not ask for resurrection of Asclepius and Hyacinthus so i just wanted to share this. About Asclepius death I read it on theoi.com, that earlier authors don't make him resurrect as a god but that's a later development mentioned only by Roman authors like Cicero, Hyginus and Ovid. But still Apollo has a role in Ovid's version
Ovid, Fasti 6. 735 ff (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) : Clymenus [Haides] and Clotho resent the threads of life respun and death's royal rights diminished. Jove [Zeus] feared the precedent and aimed his thunderbolt at the man who employed excessive art. Phoebus [Apollon], you whined. He is a god; smile at your father, who, for your sake, undoes his prohibitions [i.e. when he obtains immortality for Asklepios].
So here it is actually because of Apollo the decision was taken to resurrect him as god. And with Hyacinthus, I don't think I've read about Artemis playing the primary role. I know in Sparta there was a picture of Artemis, Athena and Aphrodite carrying Hyacinthus and his sister to heaven.
This is not on theoi.com but I saw on Tumblr it's from Dionysiaca by Nonnus
Second, my lord Oiagros wove a winding lay, as the father of Orpheus who has the Muse his boon companion. Only a couple of verses he sang, a ditty of Phoibos, clearspoken in few words after some Amyclaian style: Apollo brought to life again his longhaired Hyacinthos: Staphylos will be made to live for aye by Dionysos.
So since he is singing inspired by amyclean stories it probably means in that place it was believed Apollo was the one to bring back his lover to life.
Apollo as god of order was very important so i think it shows how special these people (and admetus too) were to him that he decided to go against the order for them 🥺
ANON!! Shakes you like a bottle of ramune!! BELOVED ANON!!!!! I'm littering your face with kisses, I'm anointing you with olive oil and honey - you absolutely made my night with this because, not only did I get the pure serotonin shot of having someone interact with my tags (yippee, wahoo!!) I also got to have that wonderful feeling of "oh wow, have I misunderstood something that was integral to my understanding of this myth/figure this whole time or is this a case of interpretational differences?" which is imo vital for my aims and interests as someone who enjoys mythological content and literature.
I'll preface my response with this: Hyacinthus is by far the hardest of these to get accounts for because his revival itself, as you very astutely point out, is generally accounted for in painting/ritual format which muddies the waters on who interceded for what. I wasn't actually familiar with that passage from the Argonautica - and certainly didn't remember it so thank you very much for bringing it to my attention!
That said, what I've come to understand, both about Hyacinthus and about Asclepius is that in the accounts of their deaths, Apollo's position is startlingly clear.
For Hyacinthus, it is established time and again that Apollo would have sacrificed everything for him - his status, his power, his very own immortality and divinity. Ovid writes that Apollo would have installed him as a god if only he had the time:
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(Ovid. Metamorphoses. Book X. trans. Johnston)
Many other writers too speak of how Apollo abandoned his lyre and his seat at Delphi to spend his days with Hyacinthus, but they also all agree that when it came to his death - he was powerless. Ovid gives that graphic account of Apollo's desperation as he tries all his healing arts to save him to no avail:
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(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book X. Apollo me boy, methinks him dead. trans Johnston)
Bion, in one of his fragments, writes that Apollo was "dumb" upon seeing Hyacinthus' agony:
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(Bion, The Bucolic Poets. Fragment XI. trans Edmonds)
Even Nonnus in the Dionysiaca speaks constantly of Apollo's helplessness in the face of Hyacinthus' fate where he writes that the god still shivers if a westward wind blows upon an iris:
and when Zephyros breathed through the flowery garden, Apollo turned a quick eye upon his young darling, his yearning never satisfied; if he saw the plant beaten by the breezes, he remembered the quoit, and trembled for fear the wind, so jealous once about the boy, might hate him even in a leaf...
(Nonnus, Dionysiaca, Book 3. trans Rouse)
And the point here is just that - Apollo, at least as far as I've read, cannot avert someone's death. He simply can't. Once they're already dead - once Fate has cut their string - all Apollo's power is gone and he can do nothing no matter how much he wants to. And this is, as far as I know, supported with the accounts of Asclepius as well!
Since you specifically brought up Ovid's account, I'll also stick only to Ovid's account but in Metamorphoses when we get Ovid's version of Coronis' demise, he writes that Apollo intensely and immediately regrets slaughtering Coronis. He regrets it so intensely that he, like he does with Hyacinthus, does his best to resuscitate her:
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(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo's regret)
And like Hyacinthus, when it becomes clear that what has happened cannot be undone, Apollo wails:
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(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo wept.)
Unlike his mother, Asclepius in her womb had not yet died and so, with the last of Apollo's strength, he does manage, at least, to save him.
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(Ovid, Metamorphoses Book Two. Apollo puts the 'tearing out' in Asclepius.)
But it goes further than even that because Ocyrhoe, Chiron's daughter, a prophetess who unduly gained the ability to directly proclaim the secrets of the Fates, upon seeing the baby Asclepius, immediately prophesies his glory, his inevitable death and then his fated ascension:
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(Ovid. Metamorphoses, Book Two. Ocyrhoe's prophecy. trans Johnston)
Before she too succumbs to her hubris and is transformed by the Fates into a horse so she can no longer speak secrets that aren't hers to share.
These things ultimately are important because it establishes two very important things: 1) Apollo can't do anything in the face of the ultimate Fate of mortals, which is, of course, death and 2) even when Apollo is Actively Devastated, regretful, yearning, mournful, guilty or some unholy combination of all of the above, when someone is dead, he accepts that they are gone. Even if he is devastated by it, even if he'll cry all the rest of his days about it - if they're dead? Apollo lets them go. In Fasti, when Zeus brings Asclepius back, he does not say Apollo asked him to - Zeus, or well, in this case Jove, brings Asclepius back because he wants Apollo to stop being mad at him.
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(Ovid, Fasti VI. Apollo please come home your father misses you. trans. A.S Kline)
Even Boyle's translation which you used above in your findings hints that Zeus made Asclepius a god because he wanted Apollo to stop grieving. (i.e 'smile at your father', 'for your sake [he] undoes his prohibitions')
And like, Apollo was deeply upset by Asclepius' death - apart from killing the Cyclops in anger, in book 4 of the Argonautica, Apollonius writes that the Celts believe the stream of Eridanus to be the tears Apollo shed over the death of Asclepius when he left for Hyperborea after being chastised by Zeus for killing his Cyclops:
But the Celts have attached this story to them, that these are the tears of Leto's son, Apollo, that are borne along by the eddies, the countless tears that he shed aforetime when he came to the sacred race of the Hyperboreans and left shining heaven at the chiding of his father, being in wrath concerning his son whom divine Coronis bare in bright Lacereia at the mouth of Amyrus.
It all paints a very clear picture to me. Apollo did not ask for either of them to be brought back. Though bringing them back certainly pleased and delighted him, they are actions of other gods who are moved by Apollo's grief and mourning and seek to mollify him. Him not asking doesn't mean he didn't want them back which I think is a very important distinction by the by, but it simply means that Apollo knows the natural order of things and, even if it hurts, he isn't going to press his luck about it.
Which, of course, brings us to Admetus. And I'm really not going to overcomplicate this, Admetus is different because, very vitally, Admetus is not dead. Apollo can't do a thing once Fate has been carried out and Death has claimed a mortal but you know what he absolutely can do? Bargain like hell with the Fates before that point of inevitability. And that's what he does, ultimately for Admetus and Alcestis. He sought to prolong Admetus' life, not revive him from death or absolve him from death altogether and even after getting the Fates drunk, he's still only able to organise a sacrifice - a life for a life - something completely contingent on whether some other mortal would be willing to die in Admetus' place and not at all controllable by Apollo's own power.
All of these things, I think come back to that point you made - that Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore these people are very special to him if it means he's willing to go against that order but, I also wish to challenge that opinion if you'd let me. Apollo's place as a god of order is very important and therefore, I would argue, that it is even more important that it is shown that he does not break the divine order, especially for the people that mean the most to him. The original context of my comments which started this conversation were on this lovely, lovely post by @hyacinthusmemorial which contemplated upon Asclepius from the perspective of an Emergency Medical personnel and included, in their tags, the very poignant lines "there's something about Apollo letting go when Asclepius couldn't that eats my heart away" and "you do what you can, you do your best, but you don't ever reach too far" and I think that's perfectly embodied with the Apollo-Asclepius dichotomy. Apollo grieves. He wails, he cries, he does his best each and every time to save that which is precious to him but he does not curse their nature, he does not resent that they are human and ultimately, he accepts that that which is mortal must inevitably die. There is nothing that so saliently proves that those who uphold rules are also their most staunch followers - if Apollo wants to delight in his place as Fate's mouthpiece, he cannot undo Fate. And, if even the god of healing and order himself cannot undo death, what right does Asclepius, mortal as he is, talented as he is, have to disrespect it?
The beauty of these stories isn't that Apollo loved them enough to bring them back. The beauty is that Apollo loved them enough to let them go.
#this is such a long ass post oh my god#ginger answers asks#This totally got away from me but I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS AAAA#Anon beloved anon I hope you don't take this as me shutting you down or anything because that really isn't what I'm trying to do#I'm definitely going to dig more into the exactness of 'who petitioned for Hyacinthus to be revived actually?"#I always stuck to the belief that it was Artemis because of the depictions of his revival + his procession is usually devoid of Apollo#I know some renaissance paintings have him and Apollo reuniting but that's usually In The Heavens y'know#I genuinely couldn't think of any accounts that have Apollo Asking for anyone to be revived#Apollo does intercede sometimes but that's usually for immortals like Prometheus#Or even when he's left to preside over Zagreus' revival and repair in orphic tradition#Concerning Asclepius there's like a ton to talk about tbh#There's the fact that in some writings (in quite a lot actually) the reason Asclepius was killed wasn't necessarily that he brought someone#back - it was that he accepted money for it#Pindar wrote about it and Plato talks about how if Asclepius really did accept gold for a miracle then he was never a son of Apollo#It's a whole thing really#I think it's very important that it's Asclepius in his mortal folly that tests the boundaries of life and death tbh#The romanticisation of going to any length to bring back a loved one is nice and all#But sometimes the kindest and most lovely thing you can do for someone is to accept it#Just accept that they're gone - accept that there was nothing that could be done and even if the grief is heavy - keep living#Maybe we won't all get our lost loves back#But there are definitely always more people worth loving if you just live long enough to find them#apollo#asclepius#zeus#admetus#greek mythology#ovid#oh my god so much ovid#hyacinthus#coronis
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scattered-winter · 2 years
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devastated to announce that I'm back in my maze runner era thanks to this fucking au.
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jytan2018 · 1 year
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I read the comic in one sitting less than an hour after finishing the movie, and wow I have many Thoughts™.
- It's very obvious the two versions were meant to cater to different audiences AND tell different messages. I don't get why people are going "But the comic was better! It had more nuance!" just because Nimona was easier to root for in the movie.
- The comic was written back when ND Stevenson was still trying to process a lot of stuff, so all the characters are morally grey/straight up evil and the climactic battle is between a Ballister who regrets turning against Nimona, even if it was to save others vs. a Nimona who's too hurt to care if her lashing out was going to hurt innocent people.
- By the time Nimona got a movie adaptation, ND was a lot more secure in his sexuality, so the climactic battle was Nimona vs. the Director, the symbol of religious oppression and bigotry. It's not just about your friends turning on you because you're "too much" for them anymore, it's also about a society that would rather bring itself to the brink of ruin than coexist with you.
- (I totally get why people were upset about Ballister's surname change, though. Like come on, the media dubbing him Blackheart just to be mean was RIGHT THERE).
- Nimona's metaphor for not shifting is such a neurodivergent thing. Even in the comic, Nimona's parents insisting she's a monster who replaced their daughter is reminiscent of the changeling myth, which is what many parents thought their neurodivergent kids were—changelings who replaced their "real" children.
- Ambrosius being trained to cut off HIS BOYFRIEND'S WHOLE FUCKING ARM instead of merely disarming him is a very cop thing to do. As much as cops claim they're trained to de-escalate situations, their training still teaches them to treat everyone as a potential threat, and that level of constant vigilance can turn anyone into a trigger-happy/arm-choppy bastard. Even the Director, who can use a sword but probably hasn't actually fought someone in ages, STILL can't see Ballister reaching for the squire's phone without assuming he has a weapon.
- And on that note, the Queen getting killed simply because she was trying to reform the Institution and allow commoners to become knights? That's the best "no such thing as a good cop" metaphor I've seen. Because even if there ARE good cops and they ARE in leadership positions, the system will crush them before they make any meaningful change. It's not a good institution that turned rotten, it's an institution that only exists to spread its rot and refuses to be good.
- That's why Ballister's characterisation is so different in the movie vs. the comic. Comic Ballister had 15 years to come to terms with his trauma and the Institution's evildoing, while Movie Ballister is still freshly traumatised and hasn't found a way to define himself beyond the role he was assigned by the Institution.
- Not to mention Comic Ambrosius was not very noble to begin with and genuinely believed Ballister was better suited to villainy than heroism, while Movie Ambrosius never wanted the glory that came with his lineage in the first place and only antagonised Ballister because of indoctrination he needed to unlearn (which he did, all by himself, after witnessing the lengths the Director will go to just to kill Nimona).
- It really shows how important it is to surround yourself with loved ones who are open to change. Comic Ambrosius can love Ballister all he wants, but he'll still blast his arm off because he thinks Ballister deserved it anyway. Movie Ambrosius will stop to question what "the right thing" even means, even if he didn't love Ballister enough to defend him unconditionally.
I have so many more thoughts bubbling beneath the surface, but I'll probably address them some other day. In conclusion:
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[ID: A pink-haired Nimona grinning evilly while holding up a knife.]
Watch Nimona. This is not a request.
Edit: Added more thoughts!
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earlgraytay · 3 months
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Chest binding is a form of body modification.
Like all forms of body modification, it comes with its risks and drawbacks. That does not make binding bad-- but it means you need to be informed about what is and is not safe.
I've gotten a couple of people on my 'don't buy Amazon binders' PSA trying to claim that warning people about the risks of binding is transandrophobic TERF fearmongering. And it's true that TERFs will often overstate the risks of binding to make younger/newer trans guys afraid to try it. But here's the thing.
Binding your chest is like dyeing your hair, or getting a tattoo, or gauging your ears. It's a process that modifies your body for cosmetic and psychological benefits. There are 'right' and 'wrong' ways to do it-- and generally, the 'wrong' ways to do it are the ways that can cause you serious injury.
If you dye your hair with a box kit, it can damage your hair- possibly permanently. You can wind up with hair that's the wrong colour (say, green instead of blonde), you can wind up with frizzy or thin hair, or you can wind up with a permanent bald spot. If you get a tattoo from your friend Steve on his kitchen table with a sewing needle, you can get a tattoo that doesn't look like it should (because of bad ink or technique), you can get permanently scarred, and it can even theoretically kill you from blood poisoning.
These are the 'cheap' ways to get a body mod, and some people still do them. For some people, they even turn out okay! But you are taking a risk when you dye your hair with box colour or when you get a tattoo from your friend Steve. It might be a small risk; it might be a big risk. The people warning you about these things aren't trying to tell you that you should never dye your hair or get tattoos- most of these folks are heavily dyed and pierced, and many of them have made these mistakes! But they're trying to tell you to get body mods in a way that minimizes risk.
Similarly, the people warning you about chest binding being dangerous are generally older transmascs who have messed up with binding in the past. If we tell you, "don't bind with ace bandages" or "don't buy amazon binders" or "don't bind for more than eight hours at a stretch", it's not because we want you to stop binding! It's because we've made these mistakes with binding, or we've seen our friends suffer from the consequences of these mistakes.
Just like your tattoo friends don't want you to die of Steve-induced blood poisoning, your transmasc friends don't want you to break ribs or start getting asthma attacks. You are free to listen, or not-- but we just want you to know what the risks are so you can choose how to live your life.
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gremlinmodetweeker · 2 months
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Hugging König
Hope you like your spine breaking, bro. No seriously this guy will give soul crushing hugs. It's gotten to the point that the only safe way to hug him is to give him an awkward shoulder side hug. Anything more and you risk your life.
If you've gotten to the point that this man is willingly hugging you without holding himself back, you are one of the blessed(?) few to ever experience this phenomena. Don't get me wrong, he does the awkward polite hug when leaving parties before, but other than that the only time he hugs people is if they hug him first, and even then he gives an awkward pat on the back before he subtly shimmies away. The only others close enough to experience a true König Hug (tm) are Horangi and his family. If you've gotten the privilege to have this man hug you, you've earned his deepest trust and respect.
The only way to get this oaf to loosen his grip is if you squeak, which will remind him that he is in fact a big man and so he'll relax a bit, giving the true glory of a König hug. Once he relaxes his grip, they are the absolute best hugs. They're so warm and he's got a nice amount of softness to his form, so you can sink into his chest. If you want to hold on, he'll rock you gently and tuck his face into your hair. Honestly, if it weren't his first instinct to kill everything with overbearing kindness, he might actually be a viable hug therapist. Sadly, unless you train him otherwise, he's a chiropractor.
In the end, you can probably train him to be a bit gentler and not crack your back whenever he comes back home to you (unless you have a death wish, in which case hats off to you for being able to take it). Sometimes he'll get overwhelmed and forget his training, so just watch out for that. Maybe put a barrier between you and him when he comes back from a long deployment if you want to avoid meeting God prematurely. Also, I'm sorry to tell you this, but please don't assume your training will apply to anyone but you. Pray for anyone you introduce this man to.
However, one thing you can't train out of this man is how he hugs you. His favourite hugs are a bit of an ordeal. He'll crouch down and envelope you in a hug and then stand up straight so your feet are dangling. This is regardless of your height, btw. He's done this to Horangi (it took him a whole minute to process what happened because nobody's picked him up in a hug since he was 12). You, his partner, are most certainly not immune, no matter your size. You weigh over 300 lb? He'll lift you. This man has one helluva dead lift.
You will be lifted.
You will be crushed.
Nobody is safe from König's hugs.
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headspace-hotel · 1 year
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Researching herbicide resistance in weeds.
A decade ago, everyone said rotating applications of different herbicides was key to stopping herbicide resistance.
Then, around 2015, evidence from a large study emerged saying that this actually causes weeds to be MORE resistant, so the best thing to do is to spray a combination of multiple herbicides mixed together at once.
Now that is being called into question too. Whoda thunk it...
Herbicide resistance among weeds is only getting stronger. Recently, scientists found an annual bluegrass (Poa annua) on a golf course that was resistant to seven herbicide modes of action at once. Seven. SEVEN. Amaranth plants been found with resistance to six herbicide modes of action at once. Twenty years ago, the narrative was that resistance to glyphosate (Roundup) was unlikely to become widespread; today it's the second-most common type of resistance.
What's more, plants are developing types of herbicide resistance that are effective against multiple herbicides at once and harder to detect. Instead of changing the chemical processes within them that are affected by the herbicides so the herbicides don't work as well, they're changing the way they absorb chemicals in the first place. Resistant plants are producing enzymes that detoxify the herbicides before they even enter the plants' cells.
It took Monsanto ten years to develop crop varieties resistant to Dicamba (after weeds made 'Roundup Ready' crops pointless). Palmer amaranth evolved Dicamba resistance in five years.
So I asked, "Why are all the proposed solutions dependent on using more herbicides, when we know damn well that this is going to do nothing but make the weeds evolve faster?"
The answer is that chemical companies have the world in a death grip. They can't make money off non-chemical solutions, so chemical solutions get all the funding, research, and outreach to farmers.
But why do chemical companies have so much power?
One of the biggest reasons is the U.S. military.
In the Vietnam war, all of Vietnam was sprayed with toxic herbicides like Agent Orange, which was incredibly toxic to humans and affected the Vietnamese population with horrible illnesses and birth defects. Monsanto, the company that made the herbicides, knew that it did this, but didn't tell anyone. The US government didn't admit that they'd poisoned humans on a mass scale until Vietnam veterans started dying and coming down with horrible illnesses, and even then, it took them 40 years. (My Papaw died at 60 because of that stuff.) And the soldiers weren't there for very long. As for the Vietnamese people, the soil and water where they live is contaminated.
Similarly, during the "war on drugs," the US military sprayed Roundup and other chemicals on fields to destroy coca plants and other plants used in the manufacturing of drugs. This killed a lot of crops that farmers needed to live, and caused major health problems in places such as Columbia. The US government said that people getting sick were lying and that Roundup was just as safe as table salt. (A statement that did not age well.)
So chemical companies make money off arming the USA military. The American lawn care industry, and the agricultural system, therefore originates in more than one way from the United States's war-mongering.
The other major way is described in this article (which I highly recommend), which describes how after WW2, chemical plants used for manufacturing explosives were changed into fertilizer producing plants, but chemical companies couldn't market all that fertilizer to farmers, so they invented the lawn care industry. No exaggeration, that's literally what happened.
This really changes my perspective on all the writings about fixing the agricultural system. The resources are biased towards the use of chemicals in agriculture because the companies are so powerful as to make outreach and research for non-chemical methods of agriculture really hard to fund. All the funding is in finding new ways to spray chemicals or spraying slightly different chemicals, because that's what you can actually get ahold of money to look into. It is like the research has to negotiate a truce with the chemical companies, suggesting only solutions that won't cause lower profits.
Meanwhile my respect for Amaranth is skyrocketing.
Who would win: The USA military-industrial complex or one leafy boi
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hedgehog-moss · 5 months
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In my neverending quest to keep Pampérigouste from achieving her dreams, I have launched a formal investigation into her last escape, which I had no explanations for at the time.
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I figured it out! At the far far end of her pasture, near the road, a few fence posts have become more or less horizontal (the ground is quite wet / muddy there so they've never been very stable, especially with Pirlouit using them to scratch his forehead)—so instead of a high jump + long jump combo to get to the road, Pampe just had to clear the long jump over the ditch. Which is still impressive.
I also suspect that she chose to escape from this place near the road on a snowy morning as a deliberate strategy, knowing the snow plough would erase any traces of her jump, thus preventing me from discovering where the weak spot in the fence was. Well done.
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You need 2 people to fix these fence posts so in the meantime I decided to kill two birds with one stone: cut all the broom and thorny bushes in this corner of the pasture and use them to form a discouraging barrier. I set to work earlier this week, and here's the same place as above, mid-process:
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When I texted my mum to tell her about my new thorn-based anti-Pampe plan of action, she said "Like the Maasai who make fences with thorny acacia branches to keep out lions!" and it made me feel even more confident. I mean, I have neither acacia nor Maasai fencing techniques but my thorny shrubs are pretty aggressive, they pricked my fingers even through my thick work gloves—which felt satisfying in an anticipatory way. Excellent! prick Pampe's nose exactly like this. How could a llama not be deterred by a fence material that deters apex predators?
Vexingly enough, she seemed quite supportive of my efforts. At one point she breathed some warm air against my shoulder in a gentle, patronising way.
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We were engaged in psychological warfare all afternoon—every time I stepped away from my vegetal fence, feeling like it was now good enough, Pampe would immediately come to inspect it, cheerful and impatient, which sapped my confidence so I would go and add a few more shrubs. (Note that I sort of plaited the first / biggest shrubs with the pre-existing fence so they don't go flying on the road, and so Pampe can't just push them aside.)
On the right: Poldine, looking for little fresh leaves to eat amidst the chaos. On the left: Pampérigouste, thinking.
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(At this point the barrier was only 20% thorns, and 80% broom—the fact that she waded through it without a care and didn't prick her belly made me go and add more thorny shrubs, and pack them more densely)
It's kind of fun watching Pampe think, honestly. Can I jump over this? Do I have enough visibility? Can I eat my way to freedom (again)? But these shrubs are disgusting. Am I above exploiting my daughter's lack of culinary discernment to achieve my goals? Maybe I should go back to my calculations re: probability of wild boar destruction. I may have pincushions for hands after handling prickly bushes for two hours but I'm helping stimulate my llama's intellect and creativity and that's so important.
I tried to alternate broom and thorny branches so that the non-thorny broom became tangled up with thorns and brambles to form an impenetrable and incomprehensible wall. I will call it this method the salmagundi-fence.
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Poldine is in awe of my vegetal installation.
Can I just say, compared to Pampérigouste who constantly has a devilish glint in her eye, Pampelune's face exudes wholesome politeness and moral goodness. It's still hard to believe they're mother and daughter.
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I went home once my fence started looking like Maleficent's forest of thorns and Pampe had long stopped trying to wade through it, but I still felt antsy and ended up coming back one hour later to have my apéritif with the llamas so I could keep an eye on Pampe until nightfall.
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... where is Pampe?
Oh. Here. No worries!
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Still staring at the road. Still thinking.
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...
With all that said, please admire my beautifully delirious Forest of Thorns-fence and let me know what you think.
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Surveillance pricing
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THIS WEEKEND (June 7–9), I'm in AMHERST, NEW YORK to keynote the 25th Annual Media Ecology Association Convention and accept the Neil Postman Award for Career Achievement in Public Intellectual Activity.
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Correction, 7 June 2024: The initial version of this article erroneously described Jeffrey Roper as the founder of ATPCO. He benefited from ATPCO, but did not co-found it. The initial version of this article called ATPCO "an illegal airline price-fixing service"; while ATPCO provides information that the airlines use to set prices, it does not set prices itself, and while the DOJ investigated the company, they did not pursue a judgment declaring the service to be illegal. I regret the error.
Noted anti-capitalist agitator Adam Smith had it right: "People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices."
Despite being a raving commie loon, Smith's observation was so undeniably true that regulators, policymakers, and economists couldn't help but acknowledge that it was true. The trustbusting era was defined by this idea: if we let the number of companies in a sector get too small, or if we let one or a few companies get too big, they'll eventually start to rig prices.
What's more, once an industry contracts corporate gigantism, it will become too big to jail, able to outspend and overpower the regulators charged with reining in its cheating. Anyone who believes Smith's self-evident maxim had to accept its conclusion: that companies had to be kept smaller than the state that regulated them. This wasn't about "punishing bigness" – it was the necessary precondition for a functioning market economy.
We kept companies small for the same reason that we limited the height of skyscrapers: not because we opposed height, or failed to appreciate the value of a really good penthouse view – rather, to keep the building from falling over and wrecking all the adjacent buildings and the lives of the people inside them.
Starting in the neoliberal era – Carter, then Reagan – we changed our tune. We liked big business. A business that got big was doing something right. It was perverse to shut down our best companies. Instead, we'd simply ban big companies from rigging prices. This was called the "consumer welfare" theory of antitrust. It was a total failure.
40 years later, nearly every industry is dominated by a handful of companies, and these companies price-gouge us with abandon. Worse, they use their gigantic ripoff winnings to fill war-chests that fund the corruption of democracy, capturing regulators so that they can rip us off even more, while ignoring labor, privacy and environmental law and ducking taxes.
It turns out that keeping gigantic, opaque, complex corporations honest is really hard. They have so many ways to shuffle money around that it's nearly impossible to figure out what they're doing. Digitalization makes things a million times worse, because computers allow businesses to alter their processes so they operate differently for every customer, and even for every interaction.
This is Dieselgate times a billion: VW rigged its cars to detect when they were undergoing emissions testing and switch to a less polluting, more compliant mode. But when they were on the open road, they spewed lethal quantities of toxic gas, killing people by the thousands. Computers don't make corporate leaders more evil, but they let evil corporate leaders execute far more complex and nefarious plans. Digitalization is a corporate moral hazard, making it just too easy and tempting to rig the game.
That's why Toyota, the largest car-maker in the world, just did Dieselgate again, more than a decade later. Digitalization is a temptation no giant company can resist:
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1wwj1p2wdyo
For forty years, pro-monopoly cheerleaders insisted that we could allow companies to grow to unimaginable scale and still prevent cheating. They passed rules banning companies from explicitly forming agreements to rig prices. About ten seconds later, new middlemen popped up offering "information brokerages" that helped companies rig prices without talking to one another.
Take Agri Stats: the country's hyperconcentrated meatpacking industry pays Agri Stats to "consult on prices." They provide Agri Stats with a list of their prices, and then Agri Stats suggests changes based on its analysis. What does that analysis consist of? Comparing the company's prices to its competitors, who are also Agri Stats customers:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/04/dont-let-your-meat-loaf/#meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy
In other words, Agri Stats finds the highest price for each product in the sector, then "advises" all the companies with lower prices to raise their prices to the "competitive" level, creating a one-way ratchet that sends the price of food higher and higher.
More and more sectors have an Agri Stats, and digitalization has made this price-gouging system faster, more efficient, and accessible to sectors with less concentration. Landlords, for example, have tapped into Realpage, a "data broker" that the same thing to your rent that Agri Stats does to meat prices. Realpage requires the landlords who sign up for its service to accept its "recommendations" on minimum rents, ensuring that prices only go up:
https://popular.info/p/feds-raid-corporate-landlord-escalating
Writing for The American Prospect, Luke Goldstein lays out the many ways in which these digital intermediaries have supercharged the business of price-rigging:
https://prospect.org/economy/2024-06-05-three-algorithms-in-a-room/
Goldstein identifies a kind of patient zero for this ripoff epidemic: Jeffrey Roper, a former Alaska Air exec who benefited from a service that helps airlines set prices. ATPCO was investigated by the DOJ in the 1990s, but the enforcers lost their nerve and settled with the company, which agreed to apply some ornamental fig-leafs to its collusion-machine. Even those cosmetic changes were seemingly a bridge too far Roper, who left the US.
But he came back to serve as Realpage's "principal scientist" – the architect of a nationwide scheme to make rental housing vastly more expensive. For Roper, the barrier to low rents was empathy: landlords felt stirrings of shame when they made shelter unaffordable to working people. Roper called these people "idiots" who sentimentality "costs the whole system."
Sticking a rent-gouging computer between landlords and the people whose lives they ruin is a classic "accountability sink," as described in Dan Davies' new book "The Unaccountability Machine: Why Big Systems Make Terrible Decisions – and How The World Lost its Mind":
https://profilebooks.com/work/the-unaccountability-machine/
It's a form of "empiricism washing": if computers are working in the abstract realm of pure numbers, they're just moving the objective facts of the quantitative realm into the squishy, imperfect qualitative world. Davies' interview on Trashfuture is excellent:
https://trashfuturepodcast.podbean.com/e/fire-sale-at-the-accountability-store-feat-dan-davies/
To rig prices, an industry has to solve three problems: the problem of coming to an agreement to fix prices (economists call this "the collective action problem"); the problem of coming up with a price; and the problem of actually changing prices from moment to moment. This is the ripoff triangle, and like a triangle, it has many stable configurations.
The more concentrated an industry is, the easier it is to decide to rig prices. But if the industry has the benefit of digitalization, it can swap the flexibility and speed of computers for the low collective action costs from concentration. For example, grocers that switch to e-ink shelf tags can make instantaneous price-changes, meaning that every price change is less consequential – if sales fall off after a price-hike, the company can lower them again at the press of a button. That means they can collude less explicitly but still raise prices:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/26/glitchbread/#electronic-shelf-tags
My name for this digital flexibility is "twiddling." Businesses with digital back-ends can alter their "business logic" from second to second, and present different prices, payouts, rankings and other key parts of the deal to every supplier or customer they interact with:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/
Not only does twiddling make it easier to rip off suppliers, workers and customers, it also makes these crimes harder to detect. Twiddling made Dieselgate possible, and it also underpinned "Greyball," Uber's secret strategy of refusing to send cars to pick up transportation regulators who would then be able to see firsthand how many laws the company was violating:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/03/technology/uber-greyball-program-evade-authorities.html
Twiddling is so easy that it has brought price-fixing to smaller companies and less concentrated sectors, though the biggest companies still commit crimes on a scale that put these bit-players to shame. In The Prospect, David Dayen investigates the "personalized pricing" ripoff that has turned every transaction into a potential crime-scene:
https://prospect.org/economy/2024-06-04-one-person-one-price/
"Personalized pricing" is the idea that everything you buy should be priced based on analysis of commercial surveillance data that predicts the maximum amount you are willing to pay.
Proponents of this idea – like Harvard's Pricing Lab with its "Billion Prices Project" – insist that this isn't a way to rip you off. Instead, it lets companies lower prices for people who have less ability to pay:
https://thebillionpricesproject.com/
This kind of weaponized credulity is totally on-brand for the pro-monopoly revolution. It's the same wishful thinking that led regulators to encourage monopolies while insisting that it would be possible to prevent "bad" monopolies from raising prices. And, as with monopolies, "personalized pricing" leads to an overall increase in prices. In econspeak, it is a "transfer of wealth from consumer to the seller."
"Personalized pricing" is one of those cuddly euphemisms that should make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. A more apt name for this practice is surveillance pricing, because the "personalization" depends on the vast underground empire of nonconsensual data-harvesting, a gnarly hairball of ad-tech companies, data-brokers, and digital devices with built-in surveillance, from smart speakers to cars:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/12/market-failure/#car-wars
Much of this surveillance would be impractical, because no one wants their car, printer, speaker, watch, phone, or insulin-pump to spy on them. The flexibility of digital computers means that users always have the technical ability to change how these gadgets work, so they no longer spy on their users. But an explosion of IP law has made this kind of modification illegal:
https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/
This is why apps are ground zero for surveillance pricing. The web is an open platform, and web-browsers are legal to modify. The majority of web users have installed ad-blockers that interfere with the surveillance that makes surveillance pricing possible:
https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/
But apps are a closed platform, and reverse-engineering and modifying an app is a literal felony – several felonies, in fact. An app is just a web-page skinned with enough IP to make it a felony to modify it to protect your consumer, privacy or labor rights:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/07/treacherous-computing/#rewilding-the-internet
(Google is leading a charge to turn the web into the kind of enshittifier's paradise that apps represent, blocking the use of privacy plugins and proposing changes to browser architecture that would allow them to felonize modifying a browser without permission:)
https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/02/self-incrimination/#wei-bai-bai
Apps are a twiddler's playground. Not only can they "customize" every interaction you have with them, but they can block you (or researchers seeking to help you) from recording and analyzing the app's activities. Worse: digital transactions are intimate, contained to the palm of your hand. The grocer whose e-ink shelf-tags flicker and reprice their offerings every few seconds can be collectively observed by people who are in the same place and can start a conversation about, say, whether to come back that night a throw a brick through the store's window to express their displeasure. A digital transaction is a lonely thing, atomized and intrinsically shielded from a public response.
That shielding is hugely important. The public hates surveillance pricing. Time and again, through all of American history, there have been massive and consequential revolts against the idea that every price should be different for every buyer. The Interstate Commerce Commission was founded after Grangers rose up against the rail companies' use of "personalized pricing" to gouge farmers.
Companies know this, which is why surveillance pricing happens in secret. Over and over, every day, you are being gouged through surveillance pricing. The sellers you interact with won't tell you about it, so to root out this practice, we have to look at the B2B sales-pitches from the companies that sell twiddling tools.
One of these companies is Plexure, partly owned by McDonald's, which provides the surveillance-pricing back-ends for McD's, Ikea, 7-Eleven, White Castle and others – basically, any time a company gives you a hard-sell to order via its apps rather than its storefronts or its website, you should assume you're getting twiddled, hard.
These companies use the enshittification playbook to trap you into using their apps. First, they offer discounts to customers who order through their apps – then, once the customers are fully committed to shopping via app, they introduce surveillance pricing and start to jack up the prices.
For example, Plexure boasts that it can predict what day a given customer is getting paid on and use that information to raise prices on all the goods the customer shops for on that day, on the assumption that you're willing to pay more when you've got a healthy bank balance.
The surveillance pricing industry represents another reason for everything you use to spy on you – any data your "smart" TV or Nest thermostat or Ring doorbell can steal from you can be readily monetized – just sell it to a surveillance pricing company, which will use it to figure out how to charge you more for everything you buy, from rent to Happy Meals.
But the vast market for surveillance data is also a potential weakness for the industry. Put frankly: the commercial surveillance industry has a lot of enemies. The only thing it has going for it is that so many of these enemies don't know that what's they're really upset about is surveillance.
Some people are upset because they think Facebook made Grampy into a Qanon. Others, because they think Insta gave their kid anorexia. Some think Tiktok is brainwashing millennials into quoting Osama bin Laden. Some are upset because the cops use Google location data to round up Black Lives Matter protesters, or Jan 6 insurrectionists. Some are angry about deepfake porn. Some are angry because Black people are targeted with ads for overpriced loans or colleges:
https://www.theregister.com/2024/06/04/meta_ad_algorithm_discrimination/
And some people are angry because surveillance feeds surveillance pricing. The thing is, whatever else all these people are angry about, they're all angry about surveillance. Are you angry that ad-tech is stealing a 51% share of news revenue? You're actually angry about surveillance. Are you angry that "AI" is being used to automatically reject resumes on racial, age or gender grounds? You're actually angry about surveillance.
There's a very useful analogy here to the history of the ecology movement. As James Boyle has long said, before the term "ecology" came along, there were people who cared about a lot of issues that seemed unconnected. You care about owls, I care about the ozone layer. What's the connection between charismatic nocturnal avians and the gaseous composition of the upper atmosphere? The term ecology took a thousand issues and welded them together into one movement.
That's what's on the horizon for privacy. The US hasn't had a new federal consumer privacy law since 1988, when Congress acted to ban video-store clerks from telling the newspapers what VHS cassettes you were renting:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_Privacy_Protection_Act
We are desperately overdue for a new consumer privacy law, but every time this comes up, the pro-surveillance coalition defeats the effort. but as people who care about conspiratorialism, kids' mental health, spying by foreign adversaries, phishing and fraud, and surveillance pricing all come together, they will be an unbeatable coalition:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/06/privacy-first/#but-not-just-privacy
Meanwhile, the US government is actually starting to take on these ripoff artists. The FTC is working to shut down data-brokers:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/16/the-second-best-time-is-now/#the-point-of-a-system-is-what-it-does
The FBI is raiding landlords to build a case against Frontpage and other rent price-fixers:
https://popular.info/p/feds-raid-corporate-landlord-escalating
Agri Stats is facing a DoJ lawsuit:
https://www.nationalhogfarmer.com/market-news/agri-stats-loses-motions-to-transfer-dismiss-in-doj-antitrust-case
Not every federal agency has gotten the message, though. Trump's Fed Chairman, Jerome Powell – whom Biden kept on the job – has been hiking interest rates in a bid to reduce our purchasing power by making millions of Americans poorer and/or unemployed. He's doing this to fight inflation, on the theory that inflation is being cause by us being too well-off, and therefore trying to buy more goods than are for sale.
But of course, interest rates are inflationary: when interest rates go up, it gets more expensive to pay your credit card bills, lease your car, and pay a mortgage. And where we see the price of goods shooting up, there's abundant evidence that this is the result of greedflation – companies jacking up their prices and blaming inflation. Interest rate hawks say that greedflation is impossible: if one company raises its prices, its competitors will swoop in and steal their customers with lower prices.
Maybe they would do that – if they didn't have a toolbox full of algorithmic twiddling options and a deep trove of surveillance data that let them all raise prices together:
https://prospect.org/blogs-and-newsletters/tap/2024-06-05-time-for-fed-to-meet-ftc/
Someone needs to read some Adam Smith to Chairman Powell: "People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices."
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/05/your-price-named/#privacy-first-again
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Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
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bellsmess · 4 months
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Whenever someone calls Charles Rowland straight, an angel dies.
What straight guy tells his best friend who just confessed to him that there's no one else – no one – he would go to Hell for. And that they have forever to figure out what that means. You don’t get his repressed bisexuality like I do!
Even modern bisexuals (I may or may not be speaking from personal experience) are oblivious to the fact they're bi because heteronormative roles are so engraved in our minds. When you're attracted to other genders, it's easy to miss a same-sex crush, only then to realise that oh, it wasn’t just admiration, it was attraction.
Charles, having grown up at the height of the AIDS crisis, with an abusive and probably homophobic father, killed by racist bullies? That would make anyone repress any gay feelings. Especially if you experience crushes on people with a different sex to you.
Charles sees Crystal and takes his chance. He's enamoured with this smart, strong-willed, pretty girl who can see him not only in a physical sense, but pays attention to him. He longs to be loved. Then he says the infamous "That sounds alot like you, doesn't it? Maybe that's why I like her so much" line. What an icon. And he compares himself and his best friend to the greatest love story of all time, Orpheus and Euridyce's.
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When Edwin confesses to him, he doesn't rule out the possibility of returning these feelings. He knows they're already devoted to each other. They've already had 30 years of companionship and solving cases together.
"As long as I have my best mate and a case to solve, I'm good."
Being with Edwin is simple. They solve cases, help others, run away from Death. It's a simple existance. Charles gave up eternity to be with Edwin, because he was kind to him when he was dying. Charles finds him fun, wants to protect him, knows that Edwin is a kind and good person. One that Charles wants to be.
"Bad guys don't worry about being bad guys. And you, Charles Rowland, are the best person I know."
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Crystal's role is very important in changing the dynamic between Edwin and Charles. Not only because Charles falls for her, but because she opens them up. She digs out their repressed feelings and trauma. Charles finally deals with his dad's abuse, his happy-go-lucky mask falls. She points it out to Edwin. Charles kept it up so well because Edwin didn't press it, but Crystal does. And Charles finally lets himself process what happened to him, and how that affects his relationships.
Charles never saw genuine love between his parents, and that affects how he views relationships. It impacts how he forms them, too. But he's a loverboy, he longs to be loved, he falls easily. Why wouldn’t he fall for someone who stuck to his side for 30 years?
Crystal and Monty's roles mirror each other – they help the boys figure out their feelings and desires. Crystal makes Edwin jealous that there's someone else Charles cares about in the same sense he cares for Edwin. The Cat King helps Edwin discover desire, Monty – genuine love. As Charles' and Crystal's relationship kickstarts (albeit ends as quickly) and Monty persues Edwin, he discovers the depth of his feelings.
"These complicated feelings that you have? They're for Charles."
I would love to see their wants explored more in the future season(s, hopefully multiple). Charles giving into desire with Desire of the Endless' guidance? Yes please.
I simply cannot believe that anyone would doubt Painland/Payneland endgame. They're everything to each other. They're a constant presence, reassurance, and love. Platonic, romantic, it doesn't matter. Their bond is so deep and genuine that immortal beings see it and leave them be, in the afterlife they chose for each other. Their love is so deep it transcends planes: from mortal plane to Hell, it leads Charles to Edwin. Charles is not Orpheus, when he turns around to hear Edwin out on the staircase from Hell, he manages to get him out. And they have literally forever for each other.
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rafeandonlyrafe · 7 months
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the compound part one
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words: 2k
warnings: alien apocalypse au!, violence, reader gets injured, hunger/starvation, mentions of death
part one / part two
you take a deep breath as your eyes focus on the pile of supplies. you know it's bait. you know it's purposely set up near the border of the compound to entice thieves, that someone elses eyes are likely on it right now.
but you have no choice. your stomach growls. you can see canned food. it's been so long since you had something from before. you've resorted to killing wild animals and gathering as much edible berries and plants as you can find, but even those are hard to come by. everything is hard to come by.
you look at the fence separating you. it's chain link, easy enough to climb. there's barbed wire placed on the top, fashioned together with zip ties, but plenty of space for you to fit between.
your eyes adjust as darkness falls, glad your hiding spot is shielding you from most of the wind. now that winter is rolling through the north carolina woods, you need to come up with a new plan. whether it's moving south or finding others to survive with that you trust enough to not kill you for using their resources or leaving you behind as alien bait.
a cloud passes over the moon, sending the world into even further darkness. you don't allow yourself time to second guess, shooting forward as fast as your legs can carry you, praying that your speed makes up for the sound as you scurry over the fence.
you groan when in your haste you cut your leg on the barbed wire, but you have no time to stop and see if the gash is deep.
you make it to the stack of supplies seemingly without notice, but the second your hands touch the box of canned food, a floodlight illuminates the yard of the compound.
“shit.” you allow yourself to mutter a curse word, picking up the small box and tucking it under your arm as you head towards the fence, knowing the other side means safety. 
“stop!” someone shouts from behind as you begin to climb, moving slower now that you have less mobility of one arm.
you let out a scream when someone grabs your leg, you try to kick them away, but then your other foot is grabbed, being pulled down by compound men. you struggle the best you can, even dropping your precious cans of much needed food in hope it hits one of them, but your hands can only hang on for so long before you succumb to their pulling, falling backwards with a thump, head hitting the ground and darkness enveloping you.
--
your head pounds as you try to blink your eyes open before realizing that they're covered by a blindfold. 
what a shitty way to go out, you think to yourself. blindfolded and gagged by compound men. at the end of the world, you don't meet your end in an aliens bite but rather from other humans.
it makes you question if along with the apocalypse people lost their humanity, or if they're just finally able to show their true colors without the expectations of society.
you slowly become more aware of your body. your hands are restricted behind your back to some kind of chair. your fingers reach out to touch the rope and then the chair, sighing when it's cold and smooth. wood you could possibly break, but you have no chance with metal.
your feet aren't restricted. you try to feel around for anything, but the floor around you seems clear.
you consider tipping your chair over, but you have a feeling that would only result in more pain for you.
“you awake?” the question is asked. it's a male voice, of course. it's widely known the compound is almost completely male. only a few rare women have ever been seen behind the fence. you're not sure what their recruitment process is, but you've heard whispers that they bring impressive people in. people that try to steal from them and get caught or defend their stash when the compound men leave on their raids.
you thrash in your seat since you're not able to respond. no use delaying the inevitable. if they're going to kill you, you don't want to wait around for it to happen.
“good.” the voice says, and then all of a sudden the blindfold is tugged off your eyes. it takes you a second to adjust before you can properly look around the room, realizing you're up on a stage, auditorium seats in front of you with a few men in them, all heavily armed.
you realize quickly that the military base the compound men took over must have had some sort of stage for speeches, and that you're now center spotlight.
“she did pretty good.” one of the men in the auditorium hums from the seats as the one who took of your blindfold exits down the stairs to join them. “got to the fence. most people don't even get that far.”
you try to tune out their words, eyes sweeping from some sort of escape, or help. you've learned not to rely on human help after the aliens came, but you might not have any choice.
“yeah, but she got caught.” one man huffs out.
“shit, billy, shut up. we need more women around here.” a new man says, his eyes feeling predatory as he looks over your body, making you press your thighs tightly together. you manage to look to the side to realize there's an armed man on either side of the stage, tucked slightly into the wings, but their dark eyes on you.
“we shouldn't even be arguing.” the man who untied your blindfold says. “wait for him.”
him. the infamous leader of the compound. you've never seen him or even heard his name, but he has a reputation from the bit of gossip you've managed to pick up. cruel. not bloodthirsty or barbaric like some of the men under him, but unflinching in his standards. refusing to give out any sort of help or aid even if a mother is on her knees begging at the fence.
you've heard from some that he doesn't care, you've heard from others that it's because his men come first.
you also know every time the compound men leave on a raid, they're looking for more than just food. someone. someone that the leader lost. presumed dead, just like most of the people after the aliens came, but that doesn't stop him from looking.
your heart breaks for him despite his cruelty. you wonder if it's a son. a daughter. a sister, mother or wife.
you refuse to let your mind turn to the ones you lost. you weren't close with your parents when it happened, but your friends… your boyfriend. you shake your head, willing the thoughts to leave. no use getting emotional right at the end.
you hear footsteps, the men scattered around the first few rows moving to situate themselves, sitting a little straighter, making sure their makeshift uniforms are done properly.
the doors at the back of the auditorium open. you wait for the figure to step out of the darkness, the emerge from the shadow from the mezzanine above.
“untie her. now.” the voice rings out, so familiar it hurts as the men from the wings move quickly to undo your gag. you feel the sudden coolness of a blade against your wrist, but it slashes away at the rope.
the man is moving quicker now, your eyes widening when you realize who he is.
“rafe!” you scream, shooting up from the chair. tears are already streaming down your cheeks as you run, sprint as fast as you can across the stage, rafe also breaking into a run as you take the stairs so fast you're worried you'll fall.
“y/n!” rafe yells out as you reach each other. you're lifted into the air behind him, sobs racking your body as you press your face into his neck, legs wrapping around his hips.
“you're alive!” you can hear the disbelief in rafes voice. 
“i-i thought you were dead rafe.” you whimper into his neck, pressing kisses to his skin between the words. “i came to tanneyhill after they arrived and it was-” you can't finish your sentence. partly because the pain of having to describe what happened to tanneyhill, the home you spent so much time at. but mostly you don't finish because rafe sets you down, moving your head out from his neck to press his lips against yours.
you sigh with relief before kissing back, hands fisting in his uniform, just now realizing how bulky his clothing is, various weapons hanging from them.
“i-i love you so much.” you tell rafe, pressing your fingers against his cheeks, the plains of them still as smooth as you remember. you look into his eyes. it's the same rafe, your rafe, but at the same time he's different. clearly hardened by the apocalypse, aged quicker from the stress.
“i love you.” rafe kisses you again. “i never stopped looking for you.”
you. you're the one. not a son or a sister, but the person the compound men were looking for.
“i-i didn't know you were here.” you wish you saw rafe out on a raid, but just like everyone else in the north carolina woods, you scatter when the compound men leave their base, almost as much of a threat as the aliens are.
“otherwise you wouldn't have stole from me, huh?” rafe smirks, making you giggle. he clearly hasn't lost his sense of humor.
he pulls you close to his chest as he looks to his men. “dismissed. i will be in my chambers. no disturbances unless it's an emergency.”
the men instantly scatter. rafe waits until they all leave before turning to look at you, hands skirting down your body to your wrists. he sighs deeply when he sees the marks from the rope, red and bleeding in some places.
“let me get you cleaned up.” rafe says, and you just nod. it feels surreal to finally be back with him, your boyfriend who you could have sworn was dead. you didn't stay long in the outer banks, not with the limited resources of an island, but you looked every day for rafe to see if he somehow survived the aliens before you fled into the woods.
you feel like your eyes are still glazed over as rafe leads you out of the auditorium, promising you a full tour of the compound later as he moves swiftly down the halls, two men walking in front of him and two men behind him.
you should have known rafe would get himself into some sort of leadership position even after the apocalypse. he might not be the most well versed in combat or shooting, but he can lead and throw commands around like he was born for it.
“this is my- our chambers.” rafe pushes the door open, the four men remaining outside as rafe leads you in. it's surprisingly comfortable inside, suddenly feeling like you're in a home rather than a military base.
“i-i think i may have died when i fell off the fence. there's no way this is real.” you genuinely have to run your hands along your arms, pinching yourself to make sure you aren't dreaming.
“it's real, baby.” rafe sighs with relief as he strips off the weapons, placing them at the table near the door before stripping off his fatigues until he's just in a plain white tshirt and shorts, looking just like the boy you knew before the end came.
as he steps closer, arms wrapping around you and allowing you to relax into his hold, reality comes rushing to you. you try to keep your cries quiet, but in no time sobs are racking your body, rafe lowering you both to the ground as you cry, loud sobs, even interlaced with screams from all the horrors you saw surviving without him. you let it all go, finally safe enough to.
rafe doesn't say anything, just holds you until your cries lessen and you pass out, exhaustion pulling you to sleep.
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utilitycaster · 3 months
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I said this late last night but actually, I was serious: I really do feel like the stasis bubbles are ultimately at the core of Ludinus's attitude towards Aeor, and the fact that he doesn't seem to have focused on them at all is the key to understanding his agenda.
I don't believe the stasis bubbles are a lost cause. I think there's certainly failure points, ie, I think if one does not go about this with utmost care then yes, the people within will rapidly age or wither to dust and be lost. But I don't think a successful release of the Aeorians in these bubbles is impossible within the canon of Critical Role. I think it is very, very difficult, but I think it could be done.
Ludinus doesn't seem to have focused on this at all - not even a half-assed attempt. He's gone for a literal moonshot, connecting with something he didn't even know existed and destroying Molaesmyr in the process. To his limited credit I think it's entirely likely he didn't know about these stasis bubbles until Aeor excavations began about 60 years ago, but I don't think Aeor became his focus until he realized he could strip it for parts: both for its technology, and as part of his propaganda machine.
Ludinus's grudge against the gods began with the end of the Calamity, in his own youth, in those final battles, and we know that he was already studying mages like Laerryn and using the harness to extend his lifespan while he lived in Molaesmyr. He may very well have known about Aeor, but his goal was to kill the gods. He only just saw what was in the Occultus Thalamus now.
Aeor is a useful tool to him, and it's a better tool to him if he can act like it's lost forever and everyone is dead. Aeorians only help him if they're doomed corpses. If he cared about the deaths of the people of Aeor and the culture of the city, why let his general repeatedly target FCG, one of its only current survivors? Why shut down the researchers from Uthodurn and the Dynasty in the past 7 years? Why push towards this Thalamus even as his army falls to Dominox when the stasis bubbles are just outside? Are those collapses Essek noted just the ravages of time, or was he destroying the city even further?
He doesn't really care about Aeorians in the slightest. He wants to kill the gods, and treats this mass slaughter and cultural destruction of Aeor as a boon that fell into his lap so that he can say "look what they took from you" to the world that he's been ravaging and slaughtering his way through himself for the past few months (and, on a slower but no less violent scale, the last millennium). The second he lets one of the Aeormatons brought back by D speak? Or brings back one of the thousands of Aeorians who could, perhaps, survive and come back and even revive that lost knowledge? Well, then it's not lost forever at the hands of the gods now, is it, and that makes for bad press, and we can't have that now, can we, not when we're about to crack open the moon and eat the gods! Sorry that a phoenix killed your family and no one could resurrect them, but you know how it is. Let bygones be bygones, unless they're his trauma and his trauma alone.
Any claim that he cares about Aeor is a lie. He cares for himself and no one else. He loves that Aeor is gone because it's always been gone to him and, like any fossil, is only good as fuel for his own agenda. And we and Bells Hells are about to see a glimpse of life in the city that's more convenient to him when it's dead, and he thinks that's going to help his cause.
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caputvulpinum · 3 months
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How To Be Native American: Five Tips To Acknowledging The Indian In You!
Wonder why you're writing this. Debate with yourself about the form and the function. By making a performance out of your criticism of the inherent performativity of being a white-passing Native, is that denying or adding to the power imbalance that actually white people already have over your life, your identity, your culture? Ponder blood quantum for the seventh time today and really just sit down and ask yourself, "Is this going to be the metaphor that justifies my existence within my culture to white strangers online?" Accept it probably won't be and write this inadvisably anyway. They weren't ever going to get it anyway, but for once, this isn't about them.
Do your research! Take your knowledge and academize it. If you can't cite your sources when you try and explain why this privilege is killing you, are you really a victim of genocide? Or are you just 1/16th Cherokee Princess? FUN FACT: So many people are "Pretendians" that anthropological scholars are trying to examine the psychology behind why! You know why, of course. They feel so alienated from their culture as settlers that they cling to whatever they can, like mud on a duck's bill, steadily reshaping Turtle Island in their image. Remember that by criticizing Pretendians you simply give people more reason to assume you're one. Pretend this is fine.
Read Braiding Sweetgrass again. It won't help, but the words are familiar enough by this point that you can start the grief process a full three chapters ahead of the words you're thinking in your head. Wonder if this is all you'll ever get to have: Stories of dead grandmothers and dead strawberries and dead nations, bones piled upon bones with none of the nitrogen fixing jack shit. Think about how you have never gotten to braid sweetgrass with someone who understands who and what you are. Reread the last few sentences because your tears have blurred the ink so badly at this point it's like trying to be fluent in a language no one will teach you.
Brush your hair out, because you have gingery ringlets rather than sleek, thick flint. Your name is Red Fox Jesus Man and you've only got a little bit of a complex about it. Think about how, when people claim you look like Jesus, they aren't talking about the Middle Eastern Jew, they're talking about the Italian. You aren't even a little bit fucking Italian. Microaggressions are a form of racial validation, right? Especially if they aren't intended to be, right?
Light a candle for your dead grandfather. None of his stories got passed down onto you or your mother or your father. Maybe none of your great-great-grandfather's stories got passed down to him either. This is a comfort, in a selfish, self-destructive way. If you don't know the names of the teachers in the Mission your people were sent to, that is a sort of pyrrhic victory. Not a meaningful one, but scraps will fill your stomach if you settle for enough of them.
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sharkboywrites · 1 year
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Wait, This Is a Date!?
Riddle, Idia, and Malleus with an autistic reader who didn't realize they were on a date
Male/gn reader, autistic reader, missed signals, Idia is implied to also be autistic
A/N: I've noticed that some people aren't very obvious when asking someone out or generally establishing their feelings. I actually realized that one of my ex-friends stopped being friends with me because I wasn't picking up on their signals, what's up with people lmao
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One afternoon after you had finished all of your classes, your closest "friend" approached you looking rather nervous and asked you to accompany them later. Seeing this as just a request to hang out was friends, you accepted. When he suddenly thanks you for going on a date with him halfway through your activity your caught off guard.
"Wait, this is a date!?"
Riddle Rosehearts
Oh boy, be prepared to start apologizing because the once surprised look on his face at your sudden outburst melted to one of pure sadness. He was absolutely dejected
He took this as you rejecting him halfway through the date he put so much effort into
He even baked all the pastries for your little tea party date :(
He cleared his throat and straightened his posture. He put on a serious face despite clearly being on the verge of tears, and apologized for... making you uncomfortable? Wasting your time?
Well that wasn't what you wanted
In another quick outburst you cut him off and say that you didn't actually mean it in a negative way
You started doing the usual over-explaining hoping that he wouldn't get the wrong idea (more than he already had) and apologizing for not getting his signals
The relief he felt in that moment was something he doesn't think he can compare to anything else in his life
He actually started crying for the fact that "oh thank the sevens they're not rejecting me"
After he calmed down the two of you went back to your tea party date, although both of you aware aware that it was a date this time
bonus: Trey and Cater screaming internally after watching all of that from afar (They'd be there for Riddle's first date as emotional support you can't convince me otherwise)
Idia Shroud
Lord have mercy you're going to kill him
It took him so much to build up the courage Ortho blackmailing him to come over and play video games just for you to not know he was asking you on a date???
He played Stardew Valley with you what could be more romantic than that???
He kinda just sits there and stares at you
He's processing give him a minute
Literally the only response he gives you is just a "Uhh..yeah. Duh." (he's trying to not give away how disappointed he is)
And in you just respond with an "Oh."
Awkward level 100%
After sitting there for a few seconds rocking back and forth to make yourself a little more comfortable, you take a deep breath and lean your head on his shoulder
"Well I like this date."
He tries to hide his flustered face after that, but you can see the tips of his hair turn a soft pink in contrast to the usual blue
He really is bad at hiding his emotions
for the rest of the night the two of you keep playing video games together, and you eventually fall asleep on him, which he freaks out about but tries not to wake you up
Really just two autistics trying to figure out how to date and flirt
Malleus Draconia
So funny thing
He thought the two of you were a couple long before the two of you went on your "first date"
You know that thing on tiktok that's like "check with your autistic s/o that they know your dating because it turns out I've been dating someone for months and had no clue" Yeah that's the two of you
In his eyes it was established that the two of you had been dating. He probably confessed in his old poetic fae way of talking.
So he was just like "You are the sunrise to my day, the cool breeze on a summers day, the blood in my veins." and you were just like "Yep me and my good ol' pal Malleus. besties :)"
What do you mean friends don't give each other little trinkets they find pretty? What to you mean that's fae courting?
What do you mean friends aren't that affectionate? What do you mean friends don't hold hands, hug, and tell each other how much they appreciate them?
Honestly when you burst out with the question, he just laughs after a minute while you sit there flustered and confused
he has to sit you down and explain to you that you've both been dating for at least three months by this point. Lilia was even starting to ask him if he was going to ask you to marry him (he's impatient)
He does make sure that you're okay with this relationship and that you actually want to date him
After this you're relationship grows even stronger rather than growing weaker, he thinks it's endearing
He'll make sure to be more forward and literal with you from now on
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if I'm being honest all three of them give me "autistic just not diagnosed yet" vibes. Ty for reading and have a nice day
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Sighting: wintersoldier!reader x simon ghost riley
The car hummed as they got closer to their destination. Ghost sat in the back, his eyes barely leaving the the car floor as he gripped his gun.
The ride had been tense and uncomfortably quiet. There was nothing to say, nothing to joke about as they made their way towards the beginning of getting the answers they all prayed for in last five years.
Ghost did everything to keep himself straight. He ignored the chest pains and the shortness of breath, the pit in his stomach and the nauseating bile in the back of his throat.
You were alive yet you were gone. Gone from the task force. Gone from him.
"Remember we need information." Price said firmly. "Capture only. We can't afford to mess this up."
They were going to get information about who they were dealing with. The people who you had been with were Russian and all signs pointed to Konni Group but they had to make sure. And in the process they could find out where you were, if you were actually with them.
Ghost still didn't want to believe it still. He refused to.
You wouldn't join the other side. Not you, not the woman who fought so hard against it, who fought with such fire.
Price parked the car in an alley away from the main building and they all filed out. They stuck to the shadows as they made their way to it, keeping their guns ready as they found an entry point.
Inside the building was supposed to be a hideout, a place that would have some kind of information that would connect them the group they saw in the video.
Price took point and Ghost followed.
The walk up the stairs was slow. Never in Ghost's whole career had he felt impatient in these situations. He was find with taking his time when he needed to but he wanted to get to the room as soon as possible. He didn't care if he got shot, especially since as they moved upwards they had to drop a few targets before they continued, because he just wanted to find you.
When they got to the top they could hear someone on the other side of the door frantically moving around speaking in Russian.
"Remember, capture not kill." Price looked at Ghost and he nodded.
Ghost pushed the door open and they rushed in guns raised.
"Wait, wait! Don't shoot." A man stood in the middle of the dimly lit room with his hands raised high. He looked distressed as he frantically looked at all of them. "I can tell you everything, they're going to kill me."
"Step away from the table." Ghost ordered, noticing the gun that sat on it.
The man moved away quickly, his hands still in the air until he stood in front of the windows. He shook violently as he glanced behind him and around him.
"You're here about the intel we stole right? I can tell you where we have it-"
"You could be lying." Soap barked but he shook his head.
"I promise I'm not! I'll tell you everything if you get me out of here. They're going to kill me."
Ghost glanced at Price and saw the hard look in his eyes. It was hard to tell if the man was actually telling the truth or if he was stalling for something. Even if he looked actually scared, Ghost wouldn't be surprised if he was just trying to not get shot.
"Gaz, secure-"
The window shattered and the man was shot in the head, his body falling to the floor before another shot flew through the window right at Ghost.
Everyone quickly scrambled for cover, two more shots hitting into the walls of the building before they were out of the sights of whoever was outside.
"I thought we only had to worry about the inside?" Gaz kept himself hidden.
"Someone called for back up?" Soap wondered but no one had an answer.
Ghost grabbed the nearest object and threw it across the room before it was struck with a bullet. He clenched his jaw, staying behind the alcove he tucked himself in as he thought up a plan.
There was a window to his side that lead out to a fire escape. He could climb to the roof, hopefully without being shot, to get a good angle of whoever it was.
"Keep 'em busy." He nodded towards the window and Price nodded.
Price shout out the light, blanketing them in darkness while Ghost opened the window. They moved about the dark and baited a couple more shots from the assailant while he slipped outside.
He climbed up quickly, ignoring the shots the continued to echo off the buildings. They were lucky whoever it was didn't have night vision on their scope.
When he reached the roof, he hid behind an air-conditioning unit and readied his weapon. He waited for more gunshots, knowing he'd get the best opportunity when they were busy.
A singular shot rang out and he whirred around, immediately looking down the scope and his finger ready to pull the trigger.
Then his heart stopped.
It was you.
You sat crouched on top of a roof from another building. You were looking down your own scope as you waited for one of the others to move to try to pick them off. You looked just like you had in the video, a mask covering most of your face save for your eyes.
Ghost froze, his heart pounding against his chest as he moved his finger away from the trigger. He would've shot you by now and would've killed you with one shot. The higher ups would've yelled at him to do it, he knows that they'll be pissed that he didn't.
You were an enemy.
But he couldn't.
He must've moved and caught your attention. He barely had enough time to duck behind the unit again before a bullet ricocheted off it. In the distance he could hear sirens, which meant time was running short.
In an instant, Ghost found himself wanting to leap across the gap to get to you. He shot up from his spot ready to do so but you were gone, leaving nothing behind as if you'd never been there.
"Ghost." Price's voice crackled over the comms. "You didn't take the shot."
There was an edge to his voice and Ghost merely stared at the place where you had been as if you'd magically reappear if he willed it.
"It was her."
Silence. That's all that was left.
TAGS ARE CLOSED!
A/n: not my best work honestly. next parts will hopefully be better i just wanted to get this out to get it over with
Tags: @bucky-lents @theweirdgeninistuff @igotchuuknj @rafaelacallinybbay @yyiikes @paintlavillered @tacticalanklebiter3000 @spicyspicyliving @cod-z @whiskytoast @soapscannonwife @bossva @agustdpeach @shinchanboi @catkatchuck @luluzinha444 @blush-haze @pepsicolacoochie @mercurysjoy @keiraslayz
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brucewaynehater101 · 3 months
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do NOT kill Tim
stop being mean to tim in your fics when Bruce is right there to be mean to
let Tim run off and get into shenanigans with his friends while Gotham burns
maybe give tim amnesia and somehow gets reported as dead on a yj mission and his friends help him recover and accidentally on purpose don't mention anything about Gotham except Cass who is his sister and their friend so she's allowed and she sees Tim happy for the first time in so long that she goes along with letting Tim remember, or not, in his own time
and maybe he does remember, when they're in space and too far from Gotham for Tim to immediately rush back and try to fix things because fixing things, trying to help, has always been his first impulse, and he's convinced to wait, to see if anyone tries reaching out to him instead
and he becomes resigned as only cass reaches out, as the rest of the bats just accept that he's dead, without even a body, with just one line in a mission report, a mission report that they didn't even read, the bat computer just noted key words and updated red robin's profile accordingly in its system and no one noticed until someone mentioned that red robin had no patrol routes assigned for awhile and then the profile is brought up
and in the meantime space shenanigans for yj, including the retired ones, and cass who wants her brother to be happy
I mean... you're 100% fair in that I should emotionally beat up Bruce instead in my fics. I do have one where Tim leaves the Bats/Gotham. He has a goodbye conversation with Dick, Jason, and Damian, tries to have one with Bruce, and leaves a video/note for Alfred and Babs. I'd love to chat more about what he does afterwards if anyone wants to know more.
So... I have one fic where he leaves the Bats. There :)
As far as the rest of your ask, I'm so vibing with the amnesia. Let Tim get into wild adventures with his friends (family) and have Cass stop by to say hello. Maybe Tim goes to see her a bunch since he's no longer stuck in Gotham (if Cass is still based in Hong Kong).
I also absolutely love the idea where he gets his memories back in space and spends the entire trip back to Earth processing his thoughts. Should he go back? It's all he's known, but should he try to help out the Waynes some more? Tim is still doing good. He's still helping people. He's just no longer helping specifically Gotham and the Bats.
The part where the Bats don't notice he's dead is cruel and so delicious. Very tasty angst.
I'd also kill for Cass's POV in this (maybe a few chapters), where she discovers Tim is amnesiac, starts to realize the other Bats don't notice or seem to care about Tim (it's hard to understand the way you or a family member is being treated is wrong if that's "normal"), has her own growth and realizations about the Bats, and has complicated feelings about loving the people who are usually good to her but usually bad to Tim (in this AU).
I don't know as much about Cass's canon, but I would be interested to hear more about how her canon could or could not apply to this.
Then let the Bats have a meltdown that Tim is "dead" including their own warped perceptions of how they DO care/love Tim. Maybe they blame Tim for being distant, blame themselves, and try to hunt down who killed Tim. Let them remember certain interactions with Tim that RR remembers differently. Let the Bats be grey in their relationship with Tim because they never did mean to hurt him [they never realized that they did].
Just fun complexities of dysfunctional families :)
Moving on, let Tim be free from the Bats as they all collapse and chat about him. He can have his space adventures far from the chaos as they implode (perhaps the Bats try to take Gotham with them, and the JL has to get involved).
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24hlevi · 8 months
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I know we've got Lottie x innocent reader.. But what about th othe yjs 🤔🤔🤔
ooooh 🤭 imma give a few thoughts for each of them cause i love this but can't come up with full hcs sorry. thank you for continuing the innocent reader vision anon 🫶 also this is more with their adult versions in mind!
shauna -
- shauna adores your innocence, she literally thinks it's the cutest thing ever when you two first get together, how you haven't done anything like smoking or drinking, how you wear whatever clothes you want without realizing the way people look at you in said outfits
- she will subconsciously baby you tho, she will of course stop if you say for her to but she loves babying you :( not in like a weird way but just in a nurturing way that shows she loves you dearly
- she has such a thing for marking you up for everyone else to see how your hers and hers only, a smile always forming on her face whenever you don't try to cover it up and you two go out being given weird looks by the amount of hickeys on your neck
- she tries to start out slow with you during your first time with her but she can't help but get rough at the sounds of you whining and moaning just for her :(
nat -
- she's the one who enjoys your innocence the most, the fact that you have barely done anything rebellious in your life leads nat to being the gf who will make you do reckless things and live life to the fullest, maybe getting arrested in the process (oops)
- nat also thinks it's kinda cool that you two are polar opposites when in public and you're wearing the cutest thing possible and she's just in her leather jacket and jeans, she'd rather die than use the word aesthetic for how pleasing it is, but that's what it is lol
- nat is also the biggest on the corruption side of things, to just break down those innocent walls that stop you from whimpering her name underneath her is like winning a prize to her and when you finally let go of feeling shy and innocent, she is going to make sure you know you're hers
- thinking of her teaching you how to ride her strap for the first time and she slowly coaxes you into moving your hips faster and make more pretty noises for her, smiling at your whines before flipping you over and just pounding into you
misty -
- misty definitely takes advantage of your innocence, most of the time without you even realizing it, which makes it better for her in the end when she makes you do things that you wouldn't do otherwise without her there, it gives her a sense of pride and that she's needed
- she also just thinks it's cute when you have little to no idea what's going on or when people try to flirt with you and you just think they're being nice, misty is one to get jealous, but just so she can take you back home and make sure you remember who you belong to
- misty is the second biggest on corruption imo, she loves how innocent you are, buying you pretty revealing clothing to wear around the house so she can have you whenever she wants and seeing your eyes widen when she grabs you by your hips pulling you towards her gets her going so bad she will take you right then and there
- roleplay is huge for misty, especially medical themes, and she loves opening your mind to those things and show you how to have fun and have a good time as well even when she's three gloved fingers inside of you and is degrading you beyond belief mixed with praises
tai -
- the only normal one (jk), tai is one that thinks it's cute and enjoys the way that your innocence is genuine and how it's just how you are, not like you're doing it on purpose or something
- tbh tai doesn't seem like she would get jealous because of it, will she glare daggers at whoever is attempting to flirt with you to the point they back off? yes. but she won't be verbal about it 😭 you go over to her wondering why the overly kind person just left and she's like "ah idk babe" acting like she wasn't killing them with her mind
- tai will make you be verbal with what you want, she won't do anything until you tell her what it exactly is that you want, loving to see the way you break down crumbling and soon start begging for her to do something, anything
- you cannot tell me this woman doesn't have a thing for being called ma'am, like you'd say it as a joke and she would immediately change up and tell you to say it again which leads to a newly found word to use when having sex
van -
- van thinks your innocence is a little silly at first (affectionately), how you don't realize the certain things you do would be seen as flirting or not noticing when others are flirting with you, they think its silly
- they definitely show you all kinds of movies you haven't seen before to expand your horizons of cinema and entertainment, especially the more spicy ones to open your mind to some things 🤭
- van grins so hard when you tell them you wanna try something that you saw in a movie or something else and immediately drops everything to do it, they'll take their time with you to make sure you actually want to do it before going down on you like never before
- van is into experimenting with anything, whatever you wanna do they will gladly do for you, you basically become their pillow princess/prince and they will make sure the neighbors can hear cause they just love the sounds you make when they're pounding into you with their strap
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