#but today I was able to comfortably talk about miles with them

[edith-is-a-cat]

The character development in being comfortable in telling my parents about my online friends

[chaosandmarigolds]

Ya know how everyone is like Simon is black cat energy- well, I don't deny he can be like that what I would like to counter with is black lab energy around the person he's most comfortable with

Simon, who drags you on his morning runs because he will spend the entire time talking about trucks or something boyish

ie: "And so then you gotta- baby? Why'd ya stop?"

"We-just-" heave, "Ran a fort-four miniute-" heave, "mile."

"Yeah? Cmon, six miles today."

Simon, who will do push ups before bed if he has too much energy and knows he will just toss and turn

Simon, who loops a finger in your belt loop whenever you're shopping because lord knows that man has separation anxiety

Simon, who did once hide your shoes when he knew you had to leave super early in the morning so you would be forced to wake him up to ask him where he put them

"Simon."

Hes been awake, obviously, the phone praticallly thrown at the wall when you opened the door was an indicator, "Mm, noo. sleep."

"Simon O'Donnel Riley I swear to god if you don't give my shoes right now-!"

"...I require somethin' in return."

"You birts and your taxes, 'm going barefoot."

Simon who loves intimacy, yeah sex but he likes being close, like if he squeezed you any closer he may actually break your bones on accident

Simon, who doesn't tell you this but that one time when you got the flu? he had the time of his life, normally because you're the one cleaning him up after missions, tending to his needs, and he liked being able to do the same to you

Simon, who has the worst (best) puppy eyes you've ever seen

"one kiss."

"I have a face mask on, do you want to kiss me when I look like a taxidermy panda?" You reply with a frown, book in lap and craning your neck to see your boyfriend from how he leaned over the sofa.

He blinks at your reply and the next thing you are aware of he's laying atop of you on the sofa completely trapping you under his weight, "Jus take it off if it bugs ya tha' much."

You playfully pout your bottom lip out, "But it's supposed to be on for twenty minutes. It's been ten."

"But I wan a kiss."

"But I want to have a pretty face."

Then it was his turn to playfully pout, "You have the prettiest face."

(long story short you obvious gave in cause...I would so therefore so do you <3 )

Simon, who goes from loving and doting boyfriend to scary military man as soon as he gets out of the car

Simon, who is aware you have a video of him baby talking that you took when he wasn't aware that you were recording

(yes based off that one tiktok, I laugh every time I see it)

Simon, who hates pecks but loves giving them, like this man will just hold your face and shower you with kisses for minutes on end (its his hobby or something)

Annnnyway thats it! feedback and comments, an alllll that jazz mean the world to me! <333

[03jyh23]

—  moonlit promises || park seonghwa

idol!seonghwa x non-idol!reader

synopsis: you just miss your fiancé

genre: fluff

trigger warnings: none

words: 1.3 k

reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! this was written for my best friend when she was having a bad day. "moonlit promises" was personalized to suit her so i decided to post only a short part of the original work. since i posted a lot of angst lately, i think it's a good time to post this short fluff.

love, monika. ♡

if you enjoyed this post, i’d be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!

taglist: @hoeforalbedo (if you'd like to join my taglist you can just let me know here!)

You sat by the window, the soft glow of the moon casting a gentle light across your small room. It was late, and the world outside was quiet except for the occasional rustle of leaves in the breeze.  

You hold your engagement ring delicately between your fingertips, and you can’t help but marvel at its beauty. The ring glimmers in the soft light, its facets catching the light in a mesmerizing dance of sparkle and shine. The centerpiece, a brilliant diamond, seems to hold a universe of its own within its depths, reflecting the love and commitment shared between Seonghwa and you. You trace the intricate patterns of the band, feeling the smooth metal against your skin. Each curve and twist seems to tell a story of your journey together, from the moment you first met to the promise of forever that now lies before you. The ring feels like a tangible symbol of your love, a constant reminder of the bond you share and the future you are building together. 

As you gaze at the ring, you feel a swell of emotion wash over you. It's more than just a piece of jewelry; it's a promise, a vow, a testament to the depth of your love and the commitment you have made to each other. And as you slip the ring onto your finger, you know you won't be able to resist calling your fiancé. 

With your phone in hand, you dialled Seonghwa's number, heart fluttering with anticipation as it rang, hoping that he would have a minute or two to talk.  

 "Hey, love," Seonghwa's voice greeted you, warm and comforting despite the miles between you. 

 "Hi, Seonghwa," you replied, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd call you." 

"Ah, I'm glad you did, we already finished our rehearsals for today," Seonghwa said softly. "Did the stars made you think about me again?" he asked, his voice carrying a soft smile that you could hear. 

"Yeah..." You admitted shyly "I miss you a lot, especially on nights like these when the stars are out and shining so brightly. Nights like these always reminds me of you, but even though they shine brightly, they just don't seem as magical without you by my side."  

"I miss you too, baby," Seonghwa whispered "But talking to you makes it feel like you're right here with me." Your heart swelled at his words, your gaze drifting to the sky outside once again. When you look up at the stars, you feel a deep connection to your fiancé, even across the miles that separate you. The stars serve as a reminder of your love and the special bond you two share, it’s like the stars are strengthening your connection despite the physical distance. You sighed softly; voice tinged with longing as you spoke to Seonghwa through the phone.  

"I wish you could be here, holding me in your arms," you murmured, as you wrapped the blanked around you, your words carried the weight of your separation. "The hoodies you left... they've lost your smell already." There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line before Seonghwa replied, his voice filled with empathy.  

"I know, love. Next time I will spray all of them with my perfume twice as much." He laughed softly before continuing "I miss holding you close, feeling your warmth against me. I miss your eyes. But even though I'm not there physically, know that my love for you hasn't faded, not even a little bit." you closed your eyes, a tear slipping down your cheek as you listened to Seonghwa's words.  

"I know," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath. "And I hold onto that." Seonghwa's heart ached at the sadness in your voice, wishing more than anything that he could be there to comfort you.  

"I promise, Y/N," he said softly, his voice filled with determination, "One day soon, I'll hold you in my arms again." you smiled through tears, feeling a glimmer of hope within your chest.  

"You better keep that promise, Park Seonghwa" you replied playfully, voice warmer than before. "Until then, I'll cherish every moment we have together, even if it's just through late-night phone calls and memories of your scent." 

You never blamed Seonghwa for living his life as an idol, truth be told, even after all these years in a relationship, you remained his fan, genuinely thrilled by his success. You knew that no one deserved success as much as ATEEZ. From his early days, you had been there for him, supporting him every step of the way. Yet on a night like this, the ache of missing him became overwhelming. You wished he was beside you.  

"Speaking of stars," Seonghwa said, his voice taking on a playful tone, "did I ever tell you that you're my little star? Shining bright even in the darkest of nights." your cheeks flushed at his endearing words.  

"You always know how to make me smile," you said, heart overflowing with love for him. 

"And you always know how to make my heart skip a beat," Seonghwa replied, his affection evident in every word. As you continued to talk, your laughter mingling with the gentle night sounds, you couldn't help but feel grateful for moments like these, when distance seemed to fade away and your love shone brighter than any star in the sky.  

"I love you, Y/N," Seonghwa's voice came through the phone, gentle and sincere, wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. "And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you" Your breath caught in your throat at his declaration, your heart swelling with love for him.  

"And I can’t wait to marry you," It’s been four years since you started dating, one year into being engaged, but you never got used to hearing those three words from Seonghwa. "I love you too, Seonghwa," you whispered, voice filled with emotion. You lingered in silence for a moment, basking in the warmth of the love you shared, before Seonghwa spoke again, his voice soft and soothing. 

"You should go to sleep, my love," he said tenderly. "What time is it there like... 3 am?"  your eyes fluttered open at Seonghwa's words, a small smile playing on your lips as you glanced at the clock beside your bed.  

"Almost, I’m amazed that you know," you replied softly, "It's actually 2:40 am." Seonghwa sighed on the other end of the line, the frustration evident in his tone.  

"I hate these time zones," he admitted, his voice tinged with longing. "I wish I could be there to tuck you in and cuddle you close." Your heart ached at his words; your own longing mirrored in his. "But I guess tonight you will have to settle for my hoodie," 

"I wish you could be here too," you whispered, voice filled with sadness, "But knowing that you're thinking of me, even from miles away, is enough to keep me warm." Seonghwa's response was immediate, his voice filled with love and reassurance.  

"I'll always be thinking of you, baby," he said softly. "No matter the distance." You felt a sense of peace wash over you, knowing that even in the darkness of night, Seonghwa's love would always light the way.  

Seonghwa's voice continued to fill the quiet of the night, a steady rhythm that lulled you deeper into sleep. His words were like whispered promises, wrapping around you. 

"Sleep well, my darling," Seonghwa murmured, his voice soft and affectionate. "Dream of us, together under the stars, where distance cannot separate our hearts." You smiled, your dreams already filled with visions of Seonghwa's warm smile and the promise of your future together. With his voice as your anchor, you surrendered to the peaceful embrace of sleep, knowing that no matter the distance, your love would always bring you back to each other. And as you drifted off to sleep, Seonghwa's voice remained with you, a constant presence in the darkness, guiding you through the night until the dawn of a new day. 

[leth-writes]

yandere spiderverse

today I’m kinda going insane over the idea of a yandere spiderverse. Just the idea of your death being a canon event in pretty much every universe, the thing that makes or breaks each spider-person (spider-being?). Your death is what either motivates them to become a better hero, or the very thing that corrupts them completely. It’s the difference between being a hero and being a villain. So, you kinda serve as a Gwen figure for most of the spiders.

As a result, when they see Miles’ universe and you’re just… alive, all hell breaks loose.

Since Miles’ universe is a little to the left, especially with all the anomalies, you’re able to slip through that cosmic crack and avoid your death completely. I can honestly see you being a close friend of the Peter that died in Miles’ universe, so when the others all go to Aunt May’s to access his lab, there you are.

You’re giving everyone a tour of the lab, explaining to Miles all the different suits and their purposes and their histories, and they’re all just staring at you, this person they’ve all lost. Peter B.’s having a flashback to you falling, Penny’s thinking about holding you in her arms as you bleed out, Noir’s thinking about seeing you be shot, etc etc. Chaos ensues. They’re NOT letting you get involved, no matter how much you want to help them. You’ve spent the better half of a decade working with Blond! Peter, and you’re used to engaging with all the craziness that comes with the spiders. You’re so used to that particular brand of obsessive you probably don’t even notice how weird they’re all being.

I’m just imagining that it’s a universal constant among the spiders to be a little bit obsessive. I mean even in the films, Andrew Garfield’s Spider-man self-admittedly stalks Gwen all the time. It’s normal for them to keep track of the people they love, using any means necessary. I’m talking following you around, taking pictures of you, stealing your stuff, getting rid of any threats, saving you in case of danger, even trackers in your bag or clothing.

You don’t even blink, you’ve been through all this with Blond! Peter before. It’s honestly a bit comforting, like he’s still watching over you. You’ve had any idea of a normal relationship completely twisted.

That sense of normalcy is also what saves you from being completely kidnapped; if you run, you activate that predator sense they have and they’d give chase, it’s like a horror movie. They definitely let loose, showing their more spidery habits, including that insane flexibility and strength.

You hide behind a dumpster and Peter B. picks it up with one hand, stuff like that.

Anyways, so you don’t run. They still keep you confined to May’s place, who’s more than used to this and doesn’t really notice.

You’re trying to help with the planning and suddenly they’re all blocking your view from the terminal, looming over you, and they’re all like “It’s okay :) Go sit down :) Let Peter B. bring you a hot chocolate, maybe give you a back massage!”

They love that loose, easy sense of affection you have. It’s nice, many of them have been completely isolated since your death, too emotionally wrecked to feel comfortable reaching out or making new friends. Besides, no one could replace you.

You’re probably closest to Peter. He lost you almost a decade ago in his universe, so it’s like looking into the past. He has this almost paternal sense looking at you, he’s so protective he won’t let you out of his sight. He’s particularly disarming, so even if he’s not letting you leave, it comes off almost as a joke. Still, he can be intimidating when he’s pinning you down to the chair with webs and telling you not to worry, that he’ll take care of the Prowler once and for all, that he won’t let you get hurt ever again.

Gwen hadn’t known you very well when she’d lost you, she hadn’t even gotten the opportunity to kidnap you; you died in the same incident that took Peter from her, and that caused the rift between her and her father. It practically ruins her life, losing everyone and everything she’s ever loved in one moment. It hurts even worse knowing she’ll never get to grow closer to you; she was trying not to weird you out with how intense her feelings were. It’s her greatest regret, not just kidnapping you when she got the chance. She makes sure to work with Peter, keeping you trapped in May’s house. She’s the most likely to physically restrain you, with or without her webs.

Noir is used to the grim realities of his world, but losing you sucked every last bit of variety and life out of him. He becomes disillusioned with the system, harsher and harsher and less likely to pull back when fighting. He loses all regard for himself or for others. Seeing you is the most intense burst of color he’s ever seen; he never realized what he was missing, not being able to see the shine of your skin, the gleam in your eyes, the way the sun catches your hair just right so you look like you’re glowing. He’s entranced by your beauty, and you’re most likely to find him just kinda staring at you. It’s honestly kinda creepy, but hey, all the spiders stare at you, so you find yourself putting it out of mind.

[seeingivy]

sofia

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

previous part linked here

songs mentioned: champagne problems by taylor swift, when emma falls in love by taylor swift, and minor sofia by clairo insinuation (+ the name of the chapter)

“Can I ask for a favor?” Eren asks. 

You look up to find Eren and Armin standing in front of the dining table, both leaning on the backs of the chairs. The first whiff you get is a mix of sweat and deodorant, and you instinctively push your notebook closer to you and nod. 

You hate that Eren and Armin work out together. 

Not really, of course. You’re glad that Armin was able to find some type of segway that felt comfortable enough for him to interact with Eren, that they were slowly building back whatever it was that they lost. 

You just hate that Eren always wears that stupid headband to keep her hair back and insists on wearing a tank top – or no shirt at all –  for the five mile run they do at the end. 

You’re lucky that today is the former and not the latter. 

“Yeah, what’s up?” you ask. 

Eren places the little glass bowl in front of you, before giving Armin a nod, and sliding into the chair across from you. Armin takes his leave with Annie at his side, before giving you a passive wave over the shoulder. 

The first thing you note is that Eren’s fish tattoo is on display. It’s one of the few moments that you get to admire it – the physical reminder of you inked on to his arm – since the makeup team is always covering it up or he’s wearing a jacket. 

And the second is that Eren doesn’t really fit in the chair – because his legs are overstretched and hanging against the sides of the legs – and he nearly falls back when he moves a little too much. 

It’s crazy to think that there was a time that you and Eren would have your feet dangling in the air from how high the chairs used to be. 

You eye the little bowl, before reaching forward for it, and taking it in your hands. There’s only two little requests left, though you swear yesterday that you only had one left – which was Eren’s. 

“I know I technically already have a request in there. But could you please do another one for me?” Eren asks. 

“Sure. Which one is it that you want me to pull? The green slip or the pink one?” 

“Oh, no. It’s a separate request. I need you to write a song about Mikasa for me.” Eren responds. 

“Ah, yeah. Sure.” 

You reach forward into the bowl anyways and pull both of the slips out but Eren’s quick to reach forward and snatch them from your hands, much to your dismay.

“Hey!” 

“I just asked you to write a different song. Why did you take both of these out?” Eren asks. 

“Why are you in such a rush? I already have a song about Mikasa somewhere in one of my books, I just need to find it. I’m more curious about who added a request yesterday because there was only one left last night.” you respond. 

“It’s part of my gift for Mikasa. The wedding is next week, idiot.” 

Shit. You had yet to plan what you were going to give Jean. 

Eren looks back at the little slips, before tucking the green one closer to him and handing you the pink. You take it in your hands and find Sofia’s name scribbled over the top and open the slip. 

“It’s Sofia.” 

You pale when you read the slip. 

write a song with historia about how she said no to ymir’s proposal. (please!!!! if you can!) 

You hand it over to Eren who reads it before setting it down on the table. 

“Just don’t sing it at the end, especially if Ymir is there.” Eren responds. 

“I…do you think I should? From my very limited information, I think Ymir would hate it if Historia wrote another song about her.” you respond.

“That information is very limited because you refuse to talk to Historia. And Ymir won’t talk about it unless you ask, which you won’t.” Eren responds. 

You slouch back into your chair. 

“I’m not refusing to talk to her. I’m just in my nice….ignorance is bliss bubble. I like Ymir and Sofia but I also like Historia. I don’t want to get all complicated with the feelings if I know everything that happened.” you respond. 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“You’re already mentally siding with Ymir because you know that Ymir got on her hands and knees and begged Historia to be with her after she said no to the proposal. And because you like Sofia.” Eren responds. 

“Can we go back to when you weren’t calling me out on my shit? What gift are you getting, Mikasa?” you ask. 

Eren smiles, before leaning forward. 

“For the record, I…I sided more with Ymir and Sofia too. Or did originally at least. I feel like you’ll run into the same thing as me, but we can’t really hold it against Historia. She just has different priorities than us and picked differently than we would have, but it doesn’t mean she’s wrong. And I’m making Mikasa an edited video and I want the song in the background to be about her. Preferably written by her best friend.” Eren responds. 

“Do you think Historia will hang Sofia at the stake for requesting this?” you ask.

Eren shrugs. 

“I’m positive that Sofia just requested it because Historia’s been making lots of snide comments to Ymir all week. And saying stuff about Sofia that she eventually finds out about. Everyone’s been telling her about how the songs and stuff have been helping them with their own situation, so she might have just seen it as a segway. Just don’t tell Historia who asked for it and  make it seem like it’s your idea. I don’t think Sofia meant ill will.” Eren responds. 

“No. No, I don’t think she meant anything malicious either. She’s so sweet. And she must feel awkward since we all grew up together and she’s the other woman, or something” you respond. 

“Yeah, she is really sweet. She kind of reminds me of you, sometimes.” Eren adds. 

“As if. She reminds me of you – she literally has the same dimples.” 

Eren scoffs. 

“Lots of people have dimples. I would look like half of the people on the planet by that logic. She actually reminds me of you, when you first got here. She’s just so…” Eren responds. 

“Normal.” you respond. 

Eren sighs. 

“Yeah.” 

 You choose to withhold your comments about how you're not that type of normal anymore. And it sours all together – because that was one of the things that Eren really loved about you when you first started dating. 

Eren gives you a smile before making his move to leave. But he stops before he retreats to his room, his hand is warm on your shoulder as he squeezes. 

“Still the same in all the ways that matter. To me, at least.” Eren mumbles, before walking off. 

You sigh. 

If Sukuna was still here, he’d call you hopeless. And you’d have to agree with him. 

--

You find Historia on set, intently watching Eren and Armin while they’re filming. You take the seat next to her, reaching forward to squeeze her shoulder and catch her attention, as she shuffles to the side and makes space for you. 

“Hi Hisu.” you whisper. 

“Is the Y/N L/N finally gracing me with her presence?” Historia responds. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Shut up.” 

You feel a tiny smack, before you turn around to find Levi glaring at the two of you. And the guilty culprit – the pencil he projectile launched at the two of you. 

“You two shut up.” Levi warns, before walking back to where he was standing at the viewfinder, with Hange. 

You both smile, like you’ve been caught passing notes by a teacher, before looking back down at the script to the scene that they were filming. 

“So what did you think?” Armin asks. 

“About what?” Eren asks. 

“About Y/N?” Armin asks. 

You lean forward, tucking your legs close to your chest, as you watch them. 

“The makeup team did really well with the hair.” Historia whispers. 

“Yeah. It almost looks like he still has the man-bun.” you respond. 

“Which hair was your favorite?” Historia asks. 

You pause. 

“I like the length it’s at right now. But, I kind of liked his short hair, like from before. Sometimes I feel like when his hair is too long it kind of drowns everything else out, like his eyes and stuff.” you respond. 

“Imagine thinking you’re not in love with the guy but talking about him like that.” Historia grumbles, as you reach to shove her in the side. 

“Who said I think that?” you respond. 

You watch as Historia’s eyes widen and you turn back to the two of them. 

“Do you think she’ll be able to forget about you and live happily with someone else? Just like you wanted.” Armin asks. 

Eren shrugs. 

“Well. Who knows?” Eren asks. 

Armin reaches forward and punches Eren in the face. You bite down on your cheeks to stop yourself from flinching, as you turn to your left to find Reiner and Connie shoving their faces into their own scripts to avoid distracting them with their laughter.

Reiner and Connie never got over laughing at immature stunts. Like punching each other. 

“The hell kind of answer is that? I still haven’t forgiven you! How do you feel about the fact that you ignored Y/N’s feelings?” Armin screams. 

You bite down on your lip. The deja vu feels uncanny. 

“Y/N risked her life and only ever had eyes for you. Did you really think you could say forget about me and it would be just that?” 

Sometimes you wonder if Eren’s a sadist for writing scenes like this into the show. You’re positive Levi must have insinuated the same when he suggested the entire thing to him. 

“At the very least, Y/N should forget about a heartbreaker like you and find happiness. She might find a good guy sooner than you think and hit it off with him.” Armin responds. 

It comes out quietly – Eren’s voice. Almost like a whimper. 

In all honesty, you had almost forgotten he was there for a second, with Armin’s screaming. But when you look over, you find Eren sitting there in the water, with tears streaming out of his eyes. 

“No. No, that would kill me.” Eren responds, his voice breaking. 

You press your hands to your cheeks, letting your fingers block out the periphery as you watch the two of them, and feel your chest compress. It’s almost like you can feel everyone else looking at you – Jean and Mikasa, Historia at your side – and you choose to ignore it for the time being. 

“I don’t want her to find someone else. I want to be her one and only for the rest of my life! And after I die, I want her to pine after me for at least ten years!” Eren responds. 

Armin pauses, lifting his hands to tousle his hair. 

“Oh. I didn’t think you’d say something so…pathetic…” Armin responds. 

Eren sighs, shoving his palms into the sockets of his eyes to still the crying. 

“Don’t tell Y/N any of this. I want her to find happiness. I really do…I don’t want to die. I can’t leave Y/N…or any of you.” 

Armin crouches down, hands heavy on his shoulders, as he pleads. 

It’s enough to make the wave of discomfort bubble up in your throat – because it’s the exact same as last time. And even in the fictional version, Eren won’t heed anyone’s advice. 

“Eren! Let’s keep trying! Let’s find another way!” Armin screams. 

You can’t watch them anymore. You reach for your script, giving Historia a smile, before you retreat to the dressing room and give Levi a wave as you pass. You can tell that he shoots you a concerned look, which you shake off, before you settle into one of the makeup rooms at the back and slam the door behind you. 

“We don’t need you till later.” 

“Yeah, I…just needed a breather from out there. Do you mind?” 

The stylist shakes her head as you shoot her a smile and settle into the chair. You lift the script again, still open on the page that they were just shooting out there, as you pause. 

You focus more carefully this time on the lines. You had read this scene when Eren wrote it – way back when, when he and Armin were still fighting. But Eren had given you the second half – about meeting each other in hell. 

You never read the part that he just said because Eren never wrote it. The only line that he was actually in the script was the first one, about how it would kill him. 

He had improvised the rest. 

It was like a lingering thought that was in the back of your mind at all times. 

Now that your previous excuse, that you needed everything to be settled before you could even think about Eren, was virtually gone. 

You had done the awards show, you had given your performance. And as annoying as it was, Eren was right. The heaviness of letting go was because now you had to move forward, because that chapter of york ife was sealed now. Danny and Sareen, Scott Clarkson and Hyla, Ricky even – they were always just going to be a footnote from here on out. 

Which is why you spent all three days of the break that Levi and Hange gave you thinking about Eren. About what would be the right way to approach him again. And every idea that you came up with seemed horrible, not good enough to bring him back. 

Deep down, you knew that Eren wanted you. That some part of him still loved you, and that if you made the move, he wouldn't reject you. 

The fear was what came after that. What if your relationship wasn’t the same? What if you two had changed too much, that there was just too much baggage that you both came with, that it would eventually drag you down? 

Then you’d really lose Eren forever. It almost felt safer to keep it the way it was now. 

But that came with its own mess. Because Eren wouldn’t wait for you forever and if you had to watch him move on with someone like Sofia, the same way Historia had to watch Ymir, you’re positive that you would handle it worse than her. 

There’s a knock on the door and it’s almost like you’ve summoned her by thinking about her. Because Historia’s peeking into the room, gesturing for you to follow her out. And you oblige, as the two of you quietly march back to the townhouse, arm in arm. 

--

Historia takes you straight to her room. And you note the sign scribbled on the door, how Historia’s crossed Ymir’s name out as you walk in. You both settle into the sheets, Historia throwing the throw blanket over the two of you, as you stare up at the ceiling. 

It’s quiet. And the thoughts are racketing around in your brain like a pinball machine. 

“I’m getting deja vu.” Historia states. 

You laugh. 

“Tell me about it.” you respond. 

“Can I tell you something that won’t help in any shape or form?” Historia responds. 

“Please.” 

“He improvised all of those lines.” Historia responds. 

“I knew that already. I realized it when I went into the stylist’s trailer.” you respond. 

“Well, he kept going after you left. He’s either down horrendous or he really wants to win an award.” Historia responds. 

You smile. 

Eren probably would win an award for this. And if he was lucky, he’d win Actor in a Leading Role – and actually get to celebrate it this time around. 

The thought of getting to win a triple threat again crosses your mind, but falls dead in its tracks. No one’s ever gotten it twice. And it was insinuated enough that it was more of a…lifetime achievement award, so your chance was already out the door. 

“So. You said no when she proposed to you?” you ask. 

She doesn’t respond. You look over to find her staring at the ceiling, her eyes almost blank. You reach for her hands under the blanket, following her lead instead of asking again. 

You can only imagine how agonizing it must be to watch someone as…nonchalant as Ymir beg on her hands and knees. 

“I would have married her.” she whispers. 

You feel your chest tighten, as you pinch your eyes shut. This is exactly what you didn’t want to hear. 

“I-I really would have, I swear. I just wasn’t ready.” Historia repeats. 

The retort is on the tip of your tongue. How were you not ready when you’ve loved Ymir since you were kids? 

But then again, you’ve loved Eren since then you were kids too. And you have yet to muster up enough courage to go for him, when he’s standing right in front of you basically waiting for it. 

“It was really perfect. She had invited everyone to fly out and come watch us, after I was done touring. Levi and Hange were there, Sasha and Jean, even Erwin was there. And they were all watching from afar and…and she…” 

Historia pauses. 

“I…I was already crying when she started by saying my dear, Historia. I could see the little box in her hand and I knew what was coming. And then she….she dropped to her knees.” Historia starts. 

She shakes her head, almost like she’s trying to rid herself of the mental image. 

“I always had this stupid running joke, ever since we first got together, that Ymir would never humble herself to propose on her knees. That…that was never really her style, to do something like that even though I’ve always wanted someone to propose to me like that. I’m more traditional and…and Ymir really hates that type of shit, so I just figured she wouldn’t do it when the time came.” 

You sigh. 

“I only knew the answer was no when she actually got on her knees and asked me. Because…because if it was me, I…I wouldn’t ever do that for her.” Historia adds. 

“What?” 

“I wouldn’t do that for her. If getting on my knees and proposing wasn’t my style, I wouldn’t get on my knees and propose. But…Ymir would, for me. And I know it’s fucking stupid and not that serious, but I just…” 

Ymir loved Historia, more than Historia loved her.

“I couldn’t say yes in good faith… because I wouldn’t give something up for her like that. Or…or for anyone, at that time. Even if it was something as trivial as where you stand while you’re proposing.” Historia states. 

You pause. You can tell what she’s trying to get at, though the comparison is hardly fair. 

“Well, your career is hardly trivial to you. But in all honesty, I don’t think you’d lose your career if you were a popstar who was gay.” you note.

Historia sighs. 

“I know you don’t feel the same way. I know that…that a lot of you don’t and that…that I must seem stupid but. But –” 

You hear her sniffle, turning your side to note that there’s tears flowing out of her eyes. 

“I’m not a bad guy for wanting to keep my career the way it is now. I’m not the villain for saying no to her proposal and not wanting people to know that I’m gay. Getting to make music, being in shows like this – it’s what I love. You know that most things like this are…are temporary anyways. I still need something I can fall back on.” she responds. 

You deflate. There was a small part of you that was hoping that she would deny it. That this wasn't really the reason that she said no. You lean closer to her, resting your head against her shoulder. 

“No one thinks you’re the bad guy, Historia. And you’re not the villain for wanting to keep your own life private. We…we just don’t like that you think you can’t be a popstar and be gay at the same time. There’s….there’s so many people who are successful. Just look at Hange.” 

Historia shakes her head. 

“Hange…doesn’t count to me. I had even tried to talk to them about it, but…it didn’t really apply. They even agreed with me.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Hange blends in more than I do. Then Ymir and I would. They’re dating Levi and...if you didn’t know, you would think they’re a straight couple. On the outside, when they walk on red carpets together, they still look normal to people. But if Ymir and I…” 

“It would be different. There would be no question.” you respond. 

“You know that Hange gets overlooked for certain opportunities, right? Imagine if it were me. I’m not charismatic like Satoru Gojo and…and maybe I don’t want to have to forge my own path. I get that it’s glamorous to do things like this to some people but…it feels unfair that everyone else gets to do things normally but I have to be some trailblazer just to get to the same place.” 

You don’t know what to say. Because it makes complete sense to you. And she had checked you on what you had been thinking yourself. 

That Historia was insanely talented and that she’d continue to prove herself just as she did before people started doubting her. That when she came out of it at the end, people would love and praise her – for going above and beyond mere expectations that were put on her and staying true to herself. 

But it wasn’t fair. And you know well enough now, there’s nothing glamorous or fulfilling about climbing your way to the top like that. To have people speculate on every portion of your life, especially something so sacred like the ones you hold ear. To expect Historia to do it would be unfair. 

Eren’s words echo through your mind. Just because her priorities aren’t the same as ours doesn’t mean she’s wrong. 

It’s a silent thankfulness you have – that you and Eren are on the same page. You wouldn’t be able to handle it half as well as Ymir if he wasn’t. If he had picked his career over you.  

“Things like love aren’t temporary, though. You could have fallen back on her when things got hard.” you murmur. 

Historia scoffs. 

“You don’t believe that.” Historia seethes in response. 

“I do. There’s…there’s so many examples of it around us.” you respond. 

“I know that everyone’s on a high because Jean and Mikasa are getting married next week. But you weren’t here when they were fighting. I promise you, no part of that was pretty for Jean. She gave him more hurt than he deserved.” 

“But they moved past that! They love each other now.” 

“But not everyone does. Not everyone gets to rock bottom and climbs their way out – and in fact, most people don’t. Jean and Mikasa are the exception, not the rule. If you didn’t think that was true, you and Eren would be going to the wedding as a couple.” 

You sigh. She’s wrong. She’s so wrong – but you can’t throw it in her face. 

“It doesn’t seem like you really believe it either.” you respond. 

Historia shrugs. 

“Two things can be true at one time, Y/N. I can believe in love but know that Ymir and I are hopeless. We have been since she kneeled.” 

You reach for your notebook, which you had discarded on the floor, and for the shitty pen that was left in between the pages and scribble on the first open spot you find. 

sometimes you just don’t know the answer till someone’s on their knees and asks you 

The question bites at you. Historia still loves Ymir. 

“Would you say yes if she asked you now?” you ask. 

“Yeah. I think I would.” 

“Even if she got on her knees?”

“I’d crouch down just to be there with her.” Historia responds. 

The earnestness in the statement makes your heart crush. She was already too late. 

“What do you think about Sofia?” 

Historia rolls her eyes. 

“It’s irritating how likable she is. Like it actually pisses me off.” 

You snort. That sounds familiar. 

“Lacy, oh lacy…” you hum. 

“You’re not funny, bitch.” Historia responds, reaching to shove you in the side. 

You both laugh. 

“I wrote a few songs about her and Sofia. No one knew it was about them, but…but Ymir knew. Sofia knew, but she was too nice to say anything about it. I wrote this song called traitor, because technically, Ymir actually knew Sofia while we were still together. And she got mad because…” 

“Because how is she a traitor if you’re the one who said no…” you finish. 

“Yeah. It…it really hurt, Ymir. And maybe I did that on purpose, just because…I never actually expected her to move on. It felt like a betrayal to me.” Historia adds. 

“I know you’ve been making…comments here and there. To Sofia and Ymir. I know you don’t like her, but…you made your bed, Historia. You have to lay in it now.” you respond. 

She doesn’t respond. 

“I think Ymir and Sofia just want what’s best for you. Sofia is the one who wanted me to write a song with you about it, just…just so you could get some of it off of your chest. We all want you to be happy.” 

Historia pushes up off the bed, hiking her knees to her chest, as she buries her face into the hardness of her knees. You can tell that she’s racking out a sob, her breaths heavy, as you wrap your arms around her, resting your head against hers. 

“Historia–” 

“If Ymir wanted me to be happy, she would have gotten back together with me when I asked yesterday.” Historia mumbles. 

You cringe. 

“Don’t tell me you –” you murmur. 

“We…we were talking about how nice it was to be around each other again at the funeral. And Ymir was saying that…that I’d always be someone who would bring comfort to her, just like I did to her then. I thought she was trying to say that it was always going to be me so I asked. I begged her this time. And she said no.” Historia adds. 

“Historia, I’m so sorry. You–” 

She shakes her head. It’s almost like you’ve hit a brick wall, because instead of talking further, reaches for your notebook and scribbles the words onto the page with you. You can tell that the conversation is over, and that in true Historia fashion, she’s so stubborn she won’t touch it again. 

Wwith your permission, she rips the page out of the spine. The look she spares you over her shoulder before walking out of the room is haunting. 

--

Eren pops his head into your room an hour later. 

“Can you do me a favor?” Eren asks. 

“Can you stop asking me that?” you retort back. 

“My response is contingent on your answer.” Eren

“Yes. I can do you a favor, Eren. What is it?” 

Eren smiles, holding his hand out to you, as he all but yanks you off of your bed. 

“It’s not really a favor. I just wanted you to come into my room. Gabi and Falco are trying their outfits on for the wedding.” Eren responds. 

You smile as you walk straight across into Eren’s room, to find Gabi and Falco sitting eagerly on the couch. There’s four big boxes in his room, freshly delivered from the courier, as you take the seat next to Eren on the bed. 

“Okay. Falco, this is yours. Gabi, you can change in Y/N’s room and Falco take the bathroom. And don’t rip anything or you’re both going to the wedding naked.” Eren instructs. 

You watch as the two of them burst out into a fit of giggles, before they shuffle into their respective rooms with the hangers stretched over their shoulders. You turn to Eren, tapping on your thighs, as you wait for them to come back. 

“Your dress is here, too. If you want to try it on.” Eren offers. 

“Oh! Yeah, maybe I will. Are you going to try yours?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I might.” Eren responds. 

It’s swelteringly awkward. You have no idea what to say. 

“I…found the song I wrote about Mikasa. Nico and Armin put together a backtrack for me so I’ll send it to you.” 

You watch as Eren’s eyes light up. 

“Thank you so much! I really hope she likes it.” 

“She will. You know how sentimental she is, I-I think she’s really going to love it.” you respond. 

“Speaking of. What are you getting Jean? I am morally obligated to hang you at the stake like it’s the Salem witch trials if it’s something bad.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“I actually need your help with my gift for Jean.” you state. 

Eren dramatically places his hands on his chest. 

“It’s your lucky day, Y/N! I live to serve. Especially when it’s you.” 

“When did you get so theatrical? Are you on something?” you state, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Not only am I extremely helpful, but I’m really generous too. I’ll give you some of my fix.” Eren responds, returning the energy back in full flesh. 

“Not me getting the princess treatment! What did I do to deserve this?” 

Eren shoves you in the side. 

“Shut up. What do you need my help with?” Eren asks. 

“Well…” 

It’s right at that moment that you hear Falco and Gabi’s giggly voices again, as they both run into the room. You immediately press your hands to your cheeks and nearly squeal at how cute they both look – and specifically melt at Falco’s bowtie matching Gabi’s dress. 

Seeing Falco wear suits is less cute than it was when he was a kid. Only because he looks like a full grown person, instead of being a sweet little kid, and it makes your heart hurt at how big he’s getting. 

You know that Falco can tell what you’re thinking and he preemptively complains about it. 

“Y/N. Quit looking at me like that. You’re embarrassing me.” Falco states. 

“Do you remember when you threw up on me in first grade? Don’t talk to me about being  embarrassing.” you scold. 

Eren shakes you off, before gesturing for Falco to walk closer to him. Eren’s readjusting the collar against the coat, tightening the tie, before he gets up and rummages around in his drawers. 

“Okay, Falco. I’m going to let you borrow my cuff-links for the wedding, but you have to promise to take really good care of them, okay? These are really special to me.”  Eren states. 

“Really, Eren? You’re going to let me wear them?” 

Eren reaches forward to lightly mess with Falco’s hair, before he hands him the box. Falco sticks his hand out as Eren secures them on for him, before offering him a smile. Falco’s sheer excitement makes your heart flutter – and melt that Eren so freely offered something of his own – as Falco excitedly shows them to Gabi at his side. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” you whisper. 

Eren shrugs. 

“Of course, I did. It’s Falco.” Eren responds. 

Eren turns back to the two of them, watching the excitement on his face, as they thank him profusely. 

“What’s special about the cuff-links, Eren?” Gabi asks. 

“I wore them at one of my first award shows where I won something for Attack on Titan.” Eren states. 

Gabi curls her nose in disgust. 

“Eren. You hate award shows. You don’t even care about awards!” Gabi complains. 

“You’re right. I don’t. But, it was a pretty memorable one for me. Got my first tattoo, performed with Y/N for the first time.” 

You turn to him, as he gives you a knowing smile, and you shake your head. And he has the nerve to call Mikasa over-sentimental. 

“Wait, Gabi. I have something for you too.” 

Eren watches as you quickly rush to your room, noting that you must really be rummaging through things in your dresser since he can hear you drop things and shout in pain, before you run back with a little blue box in your hands. 

You hold it open for Gabi, as she admires the little earrings. 

“Do you like them?” you ask. 

“I love them, Y/N.” 

“You can wear them at the wedding. Here, I’ll put them on for you.” 

Gabi excitedly pushes her hair back, as you watch Falco with his lovesick eyes as he observes you fixing them. You tuck her hair behind her ears as you admire her dress in full, squeezing her wrists. 

“You look beautiful, Gabi. They’re perfect.”

“Thank you so much, Y/N. I love you so much.” 

You can’t help but frown as she presses herself into your arms, returning her warm embrace in full. You look over at Eren, who wraps his arm around Falco and smiles at you. 

“Gabi! You’re going to be the prettiest girl at the party. You should have at least given Mikasa a fighting chance.” Eren jokes, as you watch Gabi shake her head and blush at the compliment. 

“You’re corny, Eren.” Gabi responds. 

“Do you have a date to the party, Gabi? It would make my night if the prettiest girl at the party walked in with me.” 

Eren’s so sweet. It reminds you of how Levi used to be with Sasha. 

“Sorry, Eren! You snooze, you lose. Falco already asked me.” Gabi responds, linking in her arm with Falco’s. 

Eren clutches his hands to his chest, giving the two of them a dramatic display of hurt, before he puts his hand on Falco’s shoulder. 

“Fair enough. You’re a very worthy opponent, Falco. Make sure you put the cuff links and the earrings back in the box nicely. And again, if you rip your clothes, you are going to the wedding naked.” Eren states. 

It’s an innocent thought that crosses your mind. That Eren would be a really good dad, when it came to it. 

The two of them wrap their arms around you again before they run out of the room again and Eren turns to you, narrowing his eyes. 

“You’re a copycat. You only got the earrings idea from me.” 

“You’re just bitter because she gave me a bigger reaction than Falco gave you.” you bite back. 

Eren shakes his head, as he starts shuffling through the tagged clothes and looking for your dress. 

“Have to ask. What’s so special about the earrings?” Eren states. 

You smile. 

“I wore them to Levi and Hange’s vow renewal.” 

It was the first time you and Eren said that you loved each other.  Eren turns back, giving you a soft smile. 

“You’re a sap.” Eren responds. 

“Takes one to know one.” you respond. 

Eren places the dress at your side. You eye the silver beading through the little zipper, admiring Mikasa’s cursive handwriting on the little label. 

“So what do you need my help with?” Eren asks. 

“Oh. Well.” 

You tap the open spot next to you. 

“When we were going to the awards show, Jean told me something. I had asked him back then if he was delaying his wedding because you and I were fighting. He said that it wasn’t just that, but it was because…he wanted you as his best man and he was having a hard time letting go of that thought when it was how he always imagined his wedding.” 

Eren nods. You figured Jean had told him as much. 

“He said that he’s always imagined his wedding the same way. That Mikasa would have long hair, a short train but a long veil. That you would be the best man and I would be the maid of honor. And that we’d sing a song for them, one that we wrote together for their first dance.” you state. 

Eren smiles. 

“Fuck. Your gift is way better than mine.” 

You laugh. 

“Is not.” 

“You’re giving Jean his dream wedding. I’m giving Mikasa America’s Funniest Home Videos.” 

“She loves that show!” you defend. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll help you write the song.” 

--

Levi attempts to ban Connie from coming to set the day you’re filming the kiss scene. Naturally, Connie decides to sneak in by dressing up as one of the crew members, before he’s dragged out by the ear when Hange catches him. 

You count yourself lucky that Hange and Levi had thought ahead and made sure that the cabin scenes were the last ones that you filmed for the show. Dead last – meaning everyone would have already been gone by the time you and Eren actually prepared to film them. 

It was enough consolation that you’d be alone with Eren in the last few days, before it was all really over. Similar to the way it really started, just the two of you in the townhouse.  

Eren’s sitting high in the makeup chair, lazily reading through the lines of the script, as the artists paint deep red lines into the sides of his cheeks. You give him a halfhearted wave as you take a seat a few feet away, cracking all your knuckles in nervous anticipation as they start powdering your face. 

Levi and Hange walk over, hands on their hips, as they look over to the two of you for weary eyes.

“Are you ready?” Levi asks. 

You give him a nod, Eren shooting two thumbs up to them, as they both squint their eyes. They don’t believe you.  

“Just one kiss. It’s not a big deal – you’re both grown adults. And you’ve done it before! So it’s not awkward. If anything, it’s like a peck. Just a quick one and you’ll be good, Y/N.” Hange adds. 

Eren glares at Hange.

“If it’s not awkward, why are you being weird about it?” Eren deadpans. 

Hange deflates. 

“Right then. Well, legs up in five!” Hange responds, before shuffling off to the other side of the room with Levi. You can hear the two of the murmuring under their breaths, rolling your eyes at how utterly disbelieving the two of them were of you. 

You turn to Eren, the two of you giving each other a shared annoyed look, before you turn back and focus on the scene at hand. You watch as the entire crew tasks themselves with testing the lights, pulling the cameras into view, and scribbling quickly on the clapperboard. 

It’s fairly simple. You just have to stand there and kiss him. No lines, no big confession – just one kiss.  

The cast stages you and Eren – bustling hands fixing the lapels of your clothes, the stray strands of your hair as you and Eren look at each other. 

“Hey.” 

Eren smiles. He seems fairly calm, considering things. You on the other hand, you can’t help but feel that bubbling ball of anxiety pulsating in your stomach. 

“Hi Y/N. How are you today?” 

“I’m good. Good, good. You?” you respond. 

“Great.” Eren responds. 

You shove your hands into your pockets, wiping the accumulating sweat on the inside of the pants, when you feel the little plastic box in your pocket. 

“I have something for you actually.” you add. 

You pull the box of Tic-Tacs out of your pocket, before holding them out in front of Eren. He gives you a hearty laugh, before cupping his hands and holding them out to you and you pour three in his hand, before downing your own. 

“That was very self-preservationist of you. But, I’ll have you know that I didn’t eat anything all day just to avoid this type of issue.” 

You snort. 

“No way.” 

“They had pizza for lunch. God forbid I taste like marinara sauce when you kiss me. I’m not a dog.” Eren responds. 

“I’ll admit. I did eat the pizza, but then I vigorously brushed my teeth for like five minutes.” you respond. 

Eren smiles, placing his hands on his cheeks. 

“All for me? I’m flattered, Y/N.” 

You smile. 

“Okay. So, like…do we need a gameplan? Do I lean towards the right? The left? Do you have a preference? Because I can –” 

You watch as Eren’s eyes go wide, as he looks at you like you’ve grown another head. 

You can tell that he’s trying not to laugh. You glare at him, huffing as you cross your hands over your chest. 

“What?” you seethe. 

“Are you…staging a kiss right now?” 

“Just so we’re on the same page! You know, I don’t want to just lunge at you and catch you off guard.” you respond. 

Eren smiles, before reaching forward and placing one of his hands on your neck. He uses his thumb to rub into the softness of your cheek, before narrowing his eyes at you. You can tell what he’s trying to say. 

Relax. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll just do what feels right. Sorry for being weird.” you respond. 

Eren shrugs. 

“S’not weird. I just think you’re overthinking it. We’ve done it hundreds of times. It’s on your move anyways, so you’re in control.” Eren responds. 

“You guys ready?” 

You and Eren look over at Levi and Hange, their legs crossed in the director’s chair, as you give them a nod. You turn back to Eren, who gives you a mini-salute, as you back up a few steps and shake your hands at your sides. 

“Alright, Y/N, we’re rolling. On your move.” Levi calls. 

It’s like your feet are cemented into the ground. You can feel the unease that had been pooling in your stomach all day wash over you as you become acutely aware of how thick and warm the air is. It’s almost like it’s weighing down on you – hanging heavy on your skin, nearly throwing you off balance. 

You try to shake the feeling off, shutting your eyes before cracking each of the knuckles in your fingers. You can see it out of your peripheral vision, Levi shifting his head to the side to look at Hange, and the embarrassment bubbles in your throat. 

“I’m good. I just need a second, sorry.” 

Levi shakes his head. 

“Take your time. Whatever feels right.” Levi responds, giving you a comforting enough smile. 

It’s just a kiss. You’ve done it hundreds of times. 

The walk towards him, though it’s only two or three steps, is excruciatingly long. The clothes are too starched, too constricting, as you reach forward, and press your hands to Eren’s cheeks. The makeup pressed to his skin comes off on your hand, as you tilt his head up – slotting your lips against his. 

Eren’s quick with it. His lips quickly glide over yours, the familiar taste of the mint you had just offered him lingering, as he lifts his hands too, pulling your face closer to his. 

Eren can feel it – your entire body freezing against his, like the first time he had ever kissed you. The urge to swoop in and fix it, even though you’re the one who was supposed to take the lead is too overwhelming. 

He knows it’ll crush you if you don’t do it right. 

(And maybe Eren’s a little selfish.)

You can feel the blood rushing to your head, as Eren brings his hands up – one hand cupping your cheek and the other one slithering around your back to pull you closer. You nearly gasp into his mouth as he leans forward this time, the softness of his hands making you melt in his hands. 

It’s Eren. Tender, soft, and intoxicating. You don’t want to stop. You return the kiss in full this time, properly leaning forward and giving it back. 

But Eren’s the one who pulls away, resting his head against your forehead, as he lightly squeezes at your neck, where his hands are resting. You’re both panting in tandem, eyes still pinched shut and foreheads pressed together, as you swallow hard and try to catch your breath. 

“Hey guys. Quick note for you.” 

You both flinch at the sound of Hange’s voice in your ears, awkwardly taking a step away from each other, as a different embarrassment washes over you. You avert your eyes from Eren and look at Hange, who shoots you a weird look before focusing back on Eren. 

“Hm? What, Hange?” Eren mumbles. You can see him out of your peripheral vision – lifting his fingers and pressing them to his lips, a slight shake in his hand. 

“Eren, honey. She just decapitated you. Like, cut your head off. You are dead.” Hange clarifies. 

“Right?” Eren hums. 

“So, you can’t use your hands to kiss her. You don’t have hands anymore! And…and that was way too lively for someone who is supposed to be dead. Tone down the excitement a little.” Hange responds before shuffling off, as Eren’s cheeks go bright pink. 

Eren turns back to you, giving you a sheepish smile, as you shake your head. 

There was no need to be embarrassed. Not when you were the one who led wrong and he was trying to fix it. 

Not when you enjoyed that way more than you should have. 

Eren watches as you march back to your spot, shaking your hands at your side, as you fix your hair. Eren turns back to look at Hange and feels the humiliation increase when they mouth something that looks an awful lot like touch starved. 

Eren throws the thought out of his mind as he leans back again, tucking his hands behind his back. The situation is less than ideal, with his eyes closed – because Eren doesn’t really clock that you’re kissing him until you’re actually doing it. 

It’s your sweet hands cradling his face and then the warmth against his lips – before he can feel himself sinking into your embrace.

You can tell that Eren’s more apprehensive this time, as you flutter your eyes shut and lightly bump your nose against his on accident. You pull him up closer to you, scanning his face and smiling, before you lean forward and rub into the skin on his cheek. You can’t help but smile as you lean forward, the anticipation palpable as you press your lips to his. 

Eren can still feel his heart thrumming, at the way you’re so carefully holding him like glass, while making him feel like his body was on fire. He’s caught off guard when he feels your tongue against his, unable to contain his smile. 

You pull back, your lips burning and skin humming, as Eren looks at you, with a soft smile on his face. You give his cheek a little pinch, which he responds to by giving you a wink, before Levi walks over – his hands crossed over his chest. 

Eren groans. 

“What did I do now?” 

“Not you, Eren. Y/N. Well, you too, but she started it. Y/N, you just murdered the love of your life. LIke fully, had to be the one to murder him even though you didn’t want to because you were the only one strong enough to do it.” 

“Right.” 

“Could you not…smile into the kiss? You have no reason to be smiling.”

You cringe. 

“Right! Right, so sorry, Levi. Won’t happen again.” 

“Okay, because. You smile and then he smiles because you did. And again, just for extreme clarification, he is dead. This is supposed to be sad.” 

Levi rolls his eyes, as he shuffles back to the chair. You spare him a glance while Eren isn’t looking and he mouths something that looks an awful lot like the word freak. You shake him off, as you turn back to Eren, giving him a sheepish smile. 

“Sorry.” you offer. 

“Not a problem. I love it when you smile.” Eren responds, running his fingers over his lips again before he drops them. 

You can feel your head spinning. 

“Okay. Last one.” you clarify. 

“Third time’s a charm, princess.” Eren responds. 

You walk back to the spot, before you wait for Levi to give you the cue. And this time, walk forward as slowly as you can and repeat it to yourself. No hands, no smiling, no tongue.  

You reach forward, placing your hands around his neck, and lean forward. You slide your lips over his, circling your fingers into his neck to ground yourself into the touch rather than his intoxicating smell, as you kiss him. It’s overwhelmingly tender this time – the way you linger over him, before you pull back and let go. 

But the second you pull apart, it’s an immediate pang in your chest. It felt too final. 

“That was great guys! That’s the one.” Hange responds, as you look over and give them a smile. 

You awkwardly drop your hands, letting go of Eren, as he offers you a polite smile in response, holding out his hand to give you a high-five. You oblige, slapping your hand into his, though you can’t help but notice that the smile he gave barely reached his eyes. 

--

On your way out, you can feel the steaming that was pooling under your skin fizzle out as you walk out into the cold air, as you start marching on the pavement back to the townhouse. You prepare yourself for the unnecessary barrage of questions, and for how irritating Connie can be, as you push into the foyer. 

When you walk into the main room, it’s unexpectedly quieter than you thought it was going to be, the faint sound of the piano getting louder as you walk closer. And when you push into the room, the quiet warmth that was blooming under your skin is replaced with an ice cold pinch when you catch sight of what’s happening. 

Historia’s playing the piano, for the group of them. 

Mikasa looks up at you immediately, giving you wide eyes, as you press your hands to your temples, and look to your left. Jean and Connie give you the same look, the group of you all sweltering in the awkwardness, as you avert your gaze back to Historia. 

You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse

Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems

Eren walks in right behind you, nearly bumping into you, as you press your hand to his forearm and squeeze hard. 

“Wha-” 

“Be quiet!” you whisper. 

Eren gives you a puzzled look, as you watch his eyes scan around the room, and watch the realization register in his face. He looks down at you, giving you an awkward look, as you shake your head. The two of you avert your gaze to the left again, to find Sofia crying with one of her hands pressed to her chest. 

How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

"She would've made such a lovely bride What a shame she's fucked in the head, " they said But you'll find the real thing instead She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

Watching Ymir is like watching someone get sucker punched in the face in real time. It reminds you of the same reaction that Eren gave you the other day, while you were filming, a visceral physical reaction. You watch as Ymir stumbles back, nearly loses her balance, as the tears start collecting in her eyes. 

And even worse, watch as Sofia tries to reach for her but Ymir pushes her away. 

And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket Her picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems

You won't remember all my Champagne problems

The second she stops playing, Ymir runs up the stairs – her feet leaving a pounding sound before the door slams shut. And you watch as Sofia takes a deep and heavy breath, before running out the front door. 

--

You find Sofia two hours later, a block and a half away from the townhouse, on a bench. You reach down, picking up her bike off of where it’s toppled on the concrete, and rest it against the edge of the armrest, before taking the seat next to her. 

Sofia doesn’t hesitate to talk – like almost half of the people you know. 

“Is Ymir okay?” she asks. 

You shake your head. 

“Last I know, Eren and Mikasa went to talk to her. I’m sure they talked her down.” you respond. 

Sofia gives you a nod, inhaling shakily, as she hikes her knees to her chest. You can barely see her face – the hood pulled over her head obscuring her face – as she presses her cheeks into her knees. 

“I didn’t think she was going to sing it. I’m really sorry, I –” 

“Did you know that Historia asked Ymir to get back together with her yesterday?” 

You deflate. 

“Yes. She told me right before I went to film with Eren.” you respond. 

Sofia doesn’t respond. It’s chilling – to see someone you’ve only seen smiling for the past week and a half so defeated in one fell swoop. And even more than that, knowing how small it can feel to be competing with things that feel larger than life, in an entire world that you don’t feel like you’re a part of. 

“Ymir said no. I know she really loves you.” you offer. 

“I know she did. She came and told me right after it happened. She walked in all hot and heavy, nearly red in the face, pissed at the audacity Historia had to say that.” Sofia states. 

She pulls her hood back, resting her head against the back of the bench, as she flutters her eyes shut. 

“There’s nothing that…that gets Ymir moving like Historia. Whether she’s mad…or happy…or sad, no one can make Ymir feel as much as Historia does. If Historia and her have a good talk about how they’re always going to be important to each other, she’s on top of the fucking world. If she gets on her hands and knees and begs for her back, it’s enough to send her into a blind rage. And if she sings a song about how she got away…it’s enough to send her sobbing into her room.” 

You swallow hard. 

“I feel like I’m intruding on people who are meant to be. I don’t think I should be here.” she adds, her voice cracking. 

You shake your head.

“Ymir really loves you, I-I can just tell by the way that she looks at you. It would kill her if you left, Sofia.” 

She shrugs. 

“I know I’m never going to be Historia. And I know that first loves and…and sexual awakenings or whatever are sacred to people, but…I can’t sit here when I’m not even a part of the competition. I’m smart enough to know when two people still care about each other more than they should. I feel like I’m committing a fucking crime by keeping them apart.” Sofia responds. 

You bite down into the hardness of your cheek, before leaning your head against her shoulder. She welcomes the touch, leaning her own against yours before you break the silence. 

“I don’t necessarily think you’re wrong. There isn’t anyone that gets Ymir going like Historia. But that doesn’t mean that they’re right for each other. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t Ymir’s perfect match.” you respond. 

You shift. 

“Just because Ymir gets to these big…big emotions with Historia doesn’t make her better than you. In fact, I think that’s the leg that you have up on her. Why you’re the one who is marrying Ymir and not her.” 

“Really?” she whispers. 

“I’m not sure how familiar you are with Jean and Mikasa’s situation but –” 

“I know. Jean slept over at our house once when they were fighting. We ate ice cream together at three in the morning and talked till the sun rose.” 

You smile. 

“Jean told me that there’s lots of different types of love that you have in your life. And I just think that there’s one person…or one situation that deeply cuts into you, so hard that it changes you. I think that’s what Historia is for Ymir. Because to her, it must have been devastating that she would have done anything, that she could have changed herself any type of way, and she still wouldn’t be enough for her. I think that would get anyone moving, being reminded of the deep hurt, the complicated feelings that come with that person.” you respond. 

You feel your phone buzz, as you look at the little screen. 

[eren]: did you find her?  [eren]: ymir wants to see her.  [eren]: really badly. 

You respond back, before turning back to her. You have to turn this around for Ymir. 

“The big feelings aren’t the ones you chase after, Sofia. They fizzle out eventually, when the spark is gone. You pick based on comfort, on consistency. And Historia’s never…been consistent. She could never give Ymir what she wanted like you could. Like you do.” 

Sofia gives you a halfhearted smile. 

“You’re really sweet, Y/N. I really like you.” 

You smile, your chest panging with hurt. 

“I really like you too, Sofia. I hope you know that Historia didn’t do any of that to hurt you. She just…feels first, thinks second. It’s how she’s always been. And it’s not fair to you, but…but I hope you know it’s not personal. Or anything about you.” 

Sofia puts a hand on your shoulder. 

“Thanks.” 

You can tell that she’s ruminating over your words and the two of you sit there quietly, dangling your legs over the side of the bench, as you wait for Ymir. Your stomach rumbles loudly, as you shoot her an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry. I didn’t take my lunch after Eren and I were done filming.” 

Sofia’s eyes light up, through the redness and puffiness. 

“Didn’t you kiss?” 

You groan. You only oblige the conversation because you know she means well. 

“Yes. We kissed.” 

“Was it hot?” Sofia asks. 

You snort. 

“Um…kind of. I accidentally used my tongue the second time.” 

Sofia gasps, excitedly pressing her hands to her chest as she leans forward. 

“The second time? Meaning you did it more than once?” you ask. 

You bury your face in your hands. 

“Three times. He…he got too into it the first time. Then I got too into it the second time. It’s supposed to be a really sad scene but –”  

“But you guys are horny, I get it.” Sofia finishes. 

“We’re not–” 

“Ymir says you guys eye fuck each other. I thought she was being kind of crude, but you really do.” 

You groan. 

“Sofia–” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You guys are actually really cute and I hope you don’t think we’re all pressuring you. I just think it’s really neat the little things you guys do for each other. Connie was telling me about the mints that you got him before you kissed.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I was just kind of trying to break the ice so he was comfortable and stuff.” 

“No, I totally get what you mean. Okay, like. The first time Ymir and I went on a date, I was so ready to kiss her – I had been thinking about it all week. And before we got into the car, I ate an entire box of Altoids.” 

“An entire box? Doesn’t that get painful after a while?” 

“Listen, she’s like way out of my league. I had to impress her! Plus, it gets rid of that doubt in my head when I lean in and stuff.” 

“You wanted to impress her with minty breath?” 

“Okay, don’t question my methods. She’s my fianceé now. After we kissed and I went home,  Ymir told me that she really enjoyed it. So every time I went to see her, I would eat another box just so that she would enjoy it again.” 

“You know that Ymir hates mints, right?” 

“Is this just common knowledge that everyone knew or something? I literally had no idea. Mikasa told me a month later and I was fucking furious. God, I never bought another pack again.” Sofia complains. 

“You didn’t? I thought you said it got rid of the doubt.” 

“Yeah but, why would I? She doesn’t like them. I got over it.” Sofia states. 

You pause, leaning your head back. You refuse to comment on it, because winning her over was Ymir’s battle. And you surely hoped Ymir would be able to do it, because this was, in fact, her perfect match. 

Who would give up trivial things for her, like kneeling on the ground or chugging mints, just because Ymir asked. Just because it would make her happier. 

“How did Connie know I gave Eren the mints? Hange kicked him out.” you state. 

“Oh. He climbed onto the roof. That kiss was really important to him and Mikasa.” Sofia states. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Of course it was.” 

You scoff, before shaking your head. It’s enough to make her laugh through her tears. And surely enough, Ymir and Eren appear after twenty minutes – out of breath and panting. You take the cue and jump off the bench, reaching for Eren’s outstretched hand, as the two of you quietly walk back to the townhouse and leave them to it. 

“They’ll be fine.” Eren murmurs, trying to pull you into walking the other way. He’s trying to reassure you. 

You look up at him and smile. 

“Yeah, I’m sure they will be.”

--

Jean and Mikasa don’t do bachelor or bachelorette parties. Early on, Eren had clocked that something like that, a party celebrating them get married without the other present, wasn’t something that wouldn’t even be remotely fun to them. 

But you still had to do something. Which is why Eren settled for throwing the two of them a laid back party after filming at the end of the week, with enough alcohol for them to get drunk to their hearts desire. 

“Sometimes I have genuine concern for how their livers are still functioning.” Eren states. 

You avert your gaze from Gabi and Falco – who are sitting in the corner playing a very intense game of cards together and giggling – to Jean and Mikasa, who are very drunkenly dancing with Niccolo and Sasha, who unfortunately got roped into it. 

“Tell me about it.” you respond. 

You can’t help but smile as Niccolo takes turns spinning Mikasa around, as Sasha and Jean attempt a very dangerous version of a dip, which results in Jean dropping her flat on the floor. Eren’s ready to jump up, but Armin gestures for him to keep sitting before jumping up. 

“Sometimes I think it’s sweet though. I think back to all those award shows and realize that they probably had a really great time together. Just dancing together, enjoying each other's company.” you respond. 

“Yeah. That first one we did though was really fun. I mean, Sukuna and the lollipop thing was like really fucking annoying. But besides that, I really liked that we were all just sitting together having a good time.” 

You snort. 

“Do you ever think about how…important moments seem after the fact? And that…sometimes you don’t really know how much something will mean later?” you ask. 

“What do you mean?” 

“When we went to Seattle, I was talking with Lana. And I was telling her that Sukuna and I are nowhere near as close as you and her are. And she was telling me that Sukuna and I were like that. And that back then, when I met him, I was the one of the first people to kind of… understand that he was joking. To not immediately think bad of him or be weirded out by it, I guess.” you respond. 

Eren shrugs. 

“I guess. I mean, you showing up for my birthday dinner, it must have seemed to you that I was being so reserved when I left with Hyla. But that was the moment for me that I knew I wanted to be out of that thing, that kind of started everything.” Eren responds. 

You feel your cheeks heat up. And you’re sure that the four shots that Mikasa gave you earlier, the slight buzz in your veins, is what makes you say it. 

“This is one of them too. The important moments I’ll look back on.” you respond. 

You watch as Eren’s eyes go wide, before he awkwardly scratches at the back of his neck and smiles at the ground. 

“How so?” 

“All of this time that I get to spend with you. It’s up there, with everything else.” 

Eren reaches forward, linking his hand in with yours, before he squeezes three times. 

“Me too.” 

The two of you keep your hands that way, linked together and raised in the air, before the wind nearly gets knocked out of you by Jean leaning his entire weight on you. You can see that Mikasa is doing the same to Eren, hands tangled around his neck and nearly strangling him. 

“Did you guys know you’re the best maid of honor and best man ever?” Mikasa whines. 

Eren takes her hands, untangling them from cutting off his circulation, before letting her lean against his shoulder. You can see that he’s pleasantly surprised from the affection, wrapping his arm around her and leaning his head against hers as well. 

“Yes, Mikasa. We know.” Eren responds. 

“Stop being cocky, Eren.” Jean grumbles, as you turn your head to the side to smile at him. 

“Yeah, Eren.” you respond, emphasizing each syllable as he rolls his eyes. 

Eren shakes his head at the two of you, before looking down at Mikasa. 

“Are you ready for your gift, Mika?” Eren asks. 

“What? Really?” 

Eren gives her a nod as she nearly jumps up with excitement, teetering on the heels of her feet as Eren momentarily disappears to grab the little tape. Jean looks down at you, giving you a steely glare, as you roll your eyes. 

“What, Jean?”

“You are getting me a gift, right?” 

“Do you think I’m a nutjob? Obviously, I’m getting you a gift. You’re getting married.” 

“It better blow my fucking mind, Y/N. I have seriously high hopes after finding out what Eren got Mikasa.” 

You grin. 

“Trust me. It’s going to be everything you wanted and more.” 

Jean glares at you. 

“I don’t like your tone. If it’s a gag gift, you’re not meeting any of my children.” 

“They’re also Mikasa’s children. She’ll let me see them.” 

“No, I won’t let her.” 

“You don’t own the kids, Jean.” 

“The fuck do you mean? They’re my kids.” 

You elbow him in the sides. 

“These aren’t even real kids yet! Why are you getting territorial over people who don’t even exist yet?” 

Mikasa slings her arm around both of your shoulders, before squeezing the two of you way too hard under her grip. The two of you give each other wide eyes as she nearly cuts off your circulation and scolds both of you. 

“Why are you guys always so mean to each other? I thought you guys were getting along.” 

“We do get along!” Jean responds. 

“So along! We’re two peas in a pod!” you respond. 

Mikasa slightly loosens her grip as Eren walks up, twisting the little CD in his hand, as he eyes the three of you. She absentmindedly links her arm in with his and Jean, as Jean and Eren mimic their motions and loop you into the circle. 

There’s tears bubbling in her eyes, as you and Eren spare each other a glance, and prepare yourself for the waterworks that are going to follow. Mikasa was always an emotional drunk. 

“Thank you guys for planning such a good party for us. And for being really good friends to us.” Mikasa responds, voice cracking. 

You smile, cheeks nearly hurting, as you squeeze Eren and Jean’s arms. 

“Of course, Mikasa. You-” 

“We’re never going to be able to repay you both. I never forgot how many times you both took the fall for us back in the day whenever Levi got mad at us for switching our rooms around. And that you guys always did it whenever we asked.” 

Eren shakes his head. 

“I promise that we wanted to switch rooms just as badly as you guys did. Relax, Mikasa.” 

“I want you guys to be so happy. You guys are both such good people that it makes my heart hurt. You’re so, so perfect for each other.” 

You can feel Eren stiffen at your side as your cheeks heat up, the awkwardness sweltering in the air. 

“Thank you, Mikasa. That’s very sweet of you.” 

“I want my kids to be like ring bearers or flower girls at your wedding! I want our kids to be best friends like we were best friends and make those stupid videos like we used to do back in the day.” 

“Speaking of those videos, can I give you your gift now, Mikasa?” Eren asks. 

Mikasa lifts her hands, wiping the wetness off of her face, as she nods. Eren walks towards the TV, setting up the little video player, as you grab the group of them and signal them to join you around the couch to watch the video. 

The song starts playing, the soft little piano, of a song you had coincidentally written about Jean and Mikasa years prior. You and Jean had visited Mikasa on the set of one of her old films, Emma, and you had half heartedly scribbled some lyrics about it. You were able to find the old book in the back of your drawers and piece it together properly with Armin and Niccolo’s help. 

When Emma falls in love, she paces the floor Closes the blinds and locks the door When Emma falls in love, she calls up her mom Jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong She waits and takes her time 'Cause Little Miss Sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain When Emma falls in love, I know That boy will never be the same

'Cause she's the kind of book that you can't put down Like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town And all the bad boys would be good boys If they only had a chance to love her And to tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her

Eren pieced together the perfect videos. You’re positive that he’s stolen from all of Levi’s old tapes, as well as the dumb camera that the group of you all used in the early seasons. The clips are all of Jean and Mikasa – of such seemingly unimportant moments that nearly make your heart burst at the sight of the two of them now. 

There’s sprinkles of you and Eren in the videos, of the two of you recording them in the background holding hands when you were trying to catch their attention. And of Connie and Reiner just blowing kissy faces at them or Sasha and Bertholdt trying to imitate the two of them. 

Nearly everyone’s laughing at the clips – at how little Jean and Mikasa look at all of the clips – and Mikasa secures her hand in with yours. 

“Is that you singing? Did you write this song about me?” 

“Yeah. Way back when you filmed Emma.” 

You can see her face curl up in emotion, before she leans her head against your shoulder. She still has one of her hands wrapped in with Eren’s, stopping every few seconds to give him a really big smile that you can tell means the world to him. 

Emma met a boy with eyes like a man Turns out her heart fits right in the palm of his hand Now he'll be her shelter when it rains Little does he know, his whole world's about to change

'Cause she's the kind of book that you can't put down Like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town And all the bad boys would be good boys If they only had a chance to love her And to tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her Yeah, between me and you, sometimes I wish I was her

The clip ends with the group of you hugging, when you had finished wrapping season one. You remember the moment distinctly – the dread that came with it. Because you didn’t know if you were going to get a season two, if anyone was even going to like the show, or if you’d ever see any of them again. 

Armin initiates it first, by leaning forward over the couch and wrapping his arm around Eren and Mikasa. And then one by one, you’re all piling on each other – warm tears in your eyes as everyone ruffles Jean and Mikasa’s hair – the two of them pink in the face with their tears. 

You stand up to pop the CD out of the box as you watch Eren and Mikasa give each other a long hug, Eren responding warmly to the babbling mess coming out of her mouth. 

“Eren. Eren, I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Mikasa.” 

“This is perfect. This is so perfect, you’re one of my best friends ever, you know that?” 

Eren laughs, before placing both of his hands on her shoulders. 

“You’re one of my best friends too, Mikasa. Save one dance for me at the wedding, okay?” 

“Of course. Of course, of course we have to dance together. You can’t leave me hanging, Eren.” 

“This was my idea! And you’re the one who’s going to be so busy. Just don’t forget me.” 

You’re caught off guard from watching the two of them when you feel a tapping on your shoulder to find Ymir at your side. You give her a smile as you both lean against the wall. 

“Hey.” 

“I was wondering if you could do me a favor. You can say no.” Ymir states. 

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?” 

“That was…a really sweet song you wrote about Mikasa. I’ve always really loved how you can feel the emotion in songs you write.” 

You smile. 

“Is there any way that you could write a song with me? About Sofia? Because, we’re good but I want her to know that she means the world to me. And she’s been a fan of yours for so long that I think that it would be something that was really special to her. And I know that things are complicated because of Historia and that you might have picked a side, but I’m just asking you for this as your friend and –” 

“I’m on your side too.” you state. 

“Hm?” 

“Historia is my friend. But you are too. And I want you and Sofia to be happy, I really like her and I really like you.” 

You watch as Ymir deflates. 

“Really?” 

“You’re meant to be together. I think that she can really love you in the way that you deserve.” 

Ymir leans forward, uncharacteristically affectionate, as she wraps her arms around you and squeezes your arms. 

“You’re a really good person, Y/N.” Ymir states. 

You laugh. 

“You must be as drunk as Mikasa.” 

“No, no I really mean it. You always have really good intentions at heart. I know that your whole lover girl branding must be…frustrating to look at after everything that happened. But that’s always who you’ve been, with all of us. It’s a really good part of you.” Ymir states. 

You smile. 

“You’re speaking really highly of me. All I did was say I was going to write a song with you, Ymir.” 

“I think you deserve really good things. People have given you way too much hurt than you deserve.” 

--

The following morning, you’re able to snag Armin to help you play Ymir’s song for Sofia. And surely enough, you can feel it radiating as you watch her face light up, the way she nearly beams at the two of you as you sing. 

You sit abandoned in the room, hours after Armin, Ymir, and Sofia trickle away. 

Only because it’s so overwhelming that it nearly suffocates you. The love in the room. 

Ymir and Sofia. Jean and Mikasa and Gabi and Falco. The way Eren and Armin have reconciled and how you always see Levi smiling at you from the back of the room when the group of you are messing around. 

You’re so full of it that you can barely breathe, so nervously anxious that it makes your stomach hurt. 

“You okay?” 

You look up to find Eren looking down at you. At the love in the room, staring at you so intently. 

“Yeah.” 

“I had a question.” 

You tap the open seat on the couch next to you, shuffling to the side, as he joins you. 

“Sure. What’s up?”

You watch as Eren leans forward on his knees, eyes trained on the ground as he cracks through each of the knuckles in his fingers. 

“You can say no. You don’t have to feel obligated to answer in any way because it was just an idea I had. I won’t be hurt if you don’t want to, or…or had other plans I don’t know about because you’re obviously entitled to that! And you know, it’s a harmless type of thing that I just wanted to –” 

“Eren.” 

He pauses, looking up at you. 

“Just ask.” you finish. 

“Will you be my date to the wedding?” Eren asks. 

You feel the butterflies swarming in your stomach as you smile at him, squeezing your hands into fists as you hold them close to your chest. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I want to go with you. We’re doing a song together and…and we’re all good. It would be nice to be together, like we did back when we wrote invisible string. That and I kind of need you to point out all the love in the room for me just so I can remember it all.” Eren responds. 

You smile. 

“Of course. We’ll take turns. I’ll point one out and then you.” 

Eren grins. 

“Deal.” 

You reach forward, placing your pointer finger against his chest. He looks down before looking back up at you, confused. 

“What?” he asks. 

“You just asked me to point out the love in the room.” 

You watch as Eren leans his head back, unable to contain his smile, as he shoves your hand away and mimics the motion by pointing back.

--

next chapter linked here

an: anyways ymir requests a song about her relationship with historia later on and they write you're losing me. and yes, you're losing me and champagne problems end up being about the same relationship. also historia being so jo march coded by saying she would accept ymir's proposal now that she's actually with someone else and can't have her....anyways jeankasa wedding oh we cried

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[dominos-palast]

Lessons on flirting

Fandom: XMen

Pairing:   Kurt Wagner x fem!reader

Characters mentioned: Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Peter Maximoff

Used Pronouns: (she/her)

Warnings: none

Request: yes

Part: 1/3

A/N: I made an exception and did a fem!reader one since it was requested like that. I will eventually upload a gn!reader version

P.S.: I decided to split the request into 3 because I wanted to post something since it’s taking longer than promised :’)

Summary: Kurt has a crush on one of the best fighters in the institute, but doesn’t know how to approach the situation. Thank goodness that Peter and his friends are there to support him.

Word Count: 1k

“I did not get my ass whooped.” Scott walked between Jean and Kurt, trying to defend himself from Jean’s accusations.

“Of course not. How could you ever? We all know how strong the great Scott Summers is.” Scott would have felt flattered by such a response if it weren’t for the sarcasm behind her words.

“Yeah, yeah. Keep making fun of me. As if you had done it better,” he said eyeing the ice pack Jean pressed to her shoulder, only gaining a slight strong nudge on his bruised arm.

Kurt couldn’t help but snicker at their bickering. They had been on it since their last class. The topic had been self-defence. The catch: The use of powers was strictly prohibited. This type of class had become more frequent since the rumours of a new power suppressant circulating in the black market started. The professor wanted all students to be able to defend themselves, with and without powers.

“You sure can laugh,” Scott glanced at Kurt. “We aren’t allowed to use our powers, but you still can use your tail to fight.”

Kurt smiled proudly and swung his tail from side to side, mocking him even further.

“These classes are stupid. I have literal lasers for eyes. I can fry anyone even miles away from me. Why should I train in close combat if no one can get close to me anyway?” Scott let himself fall on the couch, resting his feet on the table in front of him. Jean already knew it was his frustration talking. They all had been lectured enough to understand why such classes were necessary.

Jean followed Scott’s lead and made herself comfortable beside him. Kurt leaned against the armrest of the couch.

“He indeed has an advantage, but I wasn’t expecting him to be that good.” She directed her eyes toward Kurt “You put up a pretty good fight against her, considering she is top of the class,” said Jean approvingly.

Kurt’s eyes suddenly lit up, and he turned toward them.

It was clear to him who she was talking about.

You hadn’t been in the institute for long but you managed to make a name for yourself right away. You hadn’t lost a spar in the self-defence class until now, making you one of the strongest fighters in the class.

“But how come she’s so strong? Does she have enhanced strength or something?” asked Scott raising an eyebrow.

“No. Her power is to transform drawings into solid objects,” Kurt responded.

Jean nodded and added, “I saw one of the spars she had with an older student. She pulled out a literal sword from the tattoo on her arm and beat his ass right in front of everyone. But do you know why she really is so strong?” Scott looked up at Jean’s questions with expectancy. “It’s because she is not a couch potato. Unlike you, Scott”

Scott threw a pillow at her, which she quickly stopped with her telekinetic powers.

The conversation went on with more complaints and remarks about the self-defence classes.

Kurt's mind drifted away, thinking of today’s class. More specifically the spar you had with him.

The first time he met you was in the self-defence class where he has been witness to your many wins. He has seen how graciously you can move and how powerful every single punch of yours is.

His admiration for you grew further and further from that day on. Not only because of your abilities but also because you remained humble and kind instead of letting your accomplishments get to your head. You were someone Kurt looked up to because you didn’t simply knock your opponent down. You gave hints and advice on what the correct stance is, how to throw a proper punch and so on. After every spar, you helped your opponent up and cheered them up like a football team’s coach would do. And you did exactly the same thing with Kurt after sparring with him.

He had lasted longer than the majority of the students you had gone against, but you still managed to make him eat dust. He lay on the ground as you approached to lend a hand. Kurt noticed your hand and was about to accept your help, but then hesitated. He was sure you would feel uncomfortable, considering Kurt’s unusual handshape. But to his surprise, you grabbed his hand and pulled him onto his feet. He felt his cheek burn when he noticed the short distance you had between each other, but you kept your grip on his hand. The words you said stuck to Kurt like glue: “That was amazing. Just as expected. We have to repeat this sometime soon”. That along with your beautiful, bright smile made his heart beat unusually fast.

“Earth to lover boy, are you listening?”

Kurt turned his head toward Scott and Jean. Both were staring at him with sneaky smiles on their faces.

“Entschuldigung?”, asked Kurt clearly confused.

Jean and Scott exchanged glances in amusement.

“You’ve been smiling like an idiot since we mentioned her”, Jean said raising her eyebrows.

Kurt felt his cheeks grow hotter. “Oh, I was thinking of- you know, class- I mean-”

“Dude, it’s so clear you have a crush on her. You drool every time she is near,” Scott said rolling his eyes.

“It’s not like-”

“You have a crush on her” Kurt yelped at the sudden presence behind him, teleporting onto the spot between Jean and Scott on the couch on reflex. “Like, totally obvious” Quicksilver took a long sip from his apple juice, only to look disgusted at it. “What’s the expiration date on this?”

“I didn’t- I didn’t realise.” Kurt looked worryingly at Peter. “Do you think she noticed? Oh no, what if I weirded her out?”

“Well, only one way to find out.”

Everyone stared at Peter expectantly as he sipped his juice with risen eyebrows.

------- Part 1/3 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[outsideratheart]

Decisions, decisions (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: Chapter 2 in the Legacy series

You wish you could say you had been able to put your departure from Ajax to the back of your mind as you prepared for and played the World Cup with The Netherlands. The team had made base in Paris for the last two games of the tournament. It was a city you had always found peace in whenever you visited.

So far The Netherlands had reached the semi finals after beating Japan in the round of 16 games thanks to two penalties from you and then you beat Italy in the quarter finals with goals coming from you and Viv. Most of the world hadn’t seen you play with you playing in the Dutch league but this tournament it seemed that everyone had eyes on you.

The semi final was something that you found incredible difficult. Madgalena Erikkson did a very good job at marking you, in fact you had less touches in that game that you had in any other game throughout the tournament. It didn’t matter though because Jackie managed to score in the 99th minute, a goal which you somehow assisted. It was a goal that would send you to the World Cup final. As you embraced the woman that had been stuck to your side the entire game, she whispered something in your ear that you didn’t expect.

You’ll make my job hard next season if you go to arsenal.

It wasn’t public knowledge that you planned on leaving Ajax. The fans had doubts every summer transfer window because they knew you deserved to play at a higher level but you never gave then any reason to think you were planning on leaving them. 

A few days later the team had a day off and whilst you did spend the day with them, you were ready for some time to relax so you and Viv went back to the hotel with the promise that you will meet back up with the team later for some food.

A couple of hours later you no longer want to be alone so you to go to Viv’s room 

“Are you ready for the final?” Viv asked as the two of you took refuge in her room.

The national team were your family but they could be a bit much sometimes and Viv shared your need for peace when things got too hectic. She could also tell something had been bothering you but she wasn’t one to push when you weren’t ready to talk about it. 

When Viv gets only a hum in response she notices that you have your attention on the phone in your hands. It was obvious that whatever you were reading made you feel uneasy because your eyebrows furrowed, something that happens when you’re thinking deeply.

“Y/N” Viv’s words fall on deaf ears. It is only when she throws Flip at you do you look up at her before going into the bathroom.

Something was definitely wrong. Your eyes were glassed over. 

There on your phone was the headline that sent your thoughts running a hundred miles an hour and led you chest to feel like it was being weighed down by an anvil.

JOHAN CRUYFF’S DAUGHTER TO FOLLOW IN HER FATHER’S FOOTSTEPS.                            WILL SHE SHINE BRIGHT OR SETTLE IN HIS SHADOW?

Viv knew the struggles you had been facing and whilst Barcelona was a dream she knew you had been struggling with thought of being in a city that held such strong memories of your father. 

There was a sense of betrayal in your gut. You wasn’t sure if it was someone within your management team, Barcelona or Arsenal but now the world was talking when you wanted this topic to remain silent.

When you re entered the bedroom it felt smaller than before. Viv didn’t know what to say and within seconds her decision to comfort you is taken away from her because Danielle and Lieke come barging in. Both of them, oblivious to what they were walking into, make it clear that you are to rejoin the team. Viv tries to tell them that you aren’t feeling it but you cut her off.

“Actually I have somewhere else to be but it’s on the way so I’ll walk with you” 

The three Dutch women give you a shared look. You didn’t have any media or appearances because today was the mandatory day off so where could you possibly be going.

The four of you walk along the streets of Paris for twenty minutes before you bid your farewells. Viv and Danielle didn’t know the significance of the hotel you were stopping at but Lieke did. 

“This is where some of the Spain girls are staying. Are you going to see anyone in particular?” Lieke knew this is where some of her friends are staying. Their World Cup journey may have been over but they were still football fans and they wanted to support their club team mate in what could be one the biggest games of her career. Lieke of course thought there could be other reasons but whenever she brought it up she got shut down very quickly.

“A friend” you reply was short and gave very little away.

It wasn’t a lie. You were going to see a friend, you just wasn’t stating which Spanish player you were going to see. Whilst Danielle had your attention, Viv told Lieke about the article that had changed your mood drastically. Your best friend has a feeling who you were going to see given that you had kept very close eyes on a certain Catalonian during the tournament and said woman had been pestering her for your phone number but she didn’t want to get involved. Lieke knew she would have to let this play out organically even if it would be painful to watch.

It’s save to say Lieke had to do a double take when she saw a group of familiar faces walk past her. 

“Lieke!” 

“Alexia” 

She wasn’t who Lieke expected to see on the streets of Paris. If Alexia was here who had you gone to see at their hotel. It is pure coincidence that her club team mates were on their way to a restaurant close to hers so they walk together. 

“I saw the article. How is she?” 

Alexia had put herself in a difficult position. She wanted to be your team mate but given her own loss she wanted to make sure you were ok. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have strangers constantly remind you of the person you have lost.

“That depends on why you’re asking. Do you want to know because part of you cares or because you want to know her decision?” 

The brunette regretted the way she interrogated you that night is Barcelona. Even though you offered her a fresh start, she hated to think that you saw her as Joan Laporta’s spy. Even if you didn’t sign for Barcelona she hoped that you could be friends.

“Lieke, I told you I’m sorry for what I did in barcelona and to answer your question, I’m asking because well, because I care about her. she—“

“Ale are you talking about Y/N again” Mapi comes out of nowhere “You know if you like her then you should ask her out. Don’t pry Lieke for information”

“That’s not what I’m doing” Flush floods Alexia’s cheeks.

“Y/N’s ok, I think” Lieke ignores Mapi’s teasing and answers Alexia’s question “She‘s actually at your hotel. I thought you might have been going to see you but you’re here” 

Alexia wonders why your best friend thought you would be with her? 

“Why would she have come to see me?”

“Alexia you are Barcelona and between you and me, I think she is leaning towards joining us. You also know the pain she feels on a daily basis” 

Alexia rarely spoke about her father but the loss was known within the team. 

“I would be there for her” she barely knew you but this much she was certain on.

“I know you would”

Meanwhile you sat in the lobby of a hotel you had no right to be in. You needed to speak to someone that knew you but that you didn’t have any responsibilities with, at least not yet. You had kept in contact throughout the competition, both been the outside perspective that the other one needed.

Now you had to remember which room she was in and pray that you don’t rub into any of her team mates. You wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries.

401, 402, 404 and then 405, her room. You knock quietly hoping not to interrupt anything or risk waking her up if for some reason she is asleep. After knocking for the third time with no answer you take it as a sign that you showing up uninvited wasn’t a good idea. When you are half way down the hallway you hear the door opening.

“Y/N is that you?” The Spanish accent is thick but easily understandable.

“I was just leaving, sorry to bother you”

“Don’t be silly, come in”

“Thank you Tana”

It felt strange to be in her hotel room and you didn’t know where you should sit so you choose to stand against the TV unit.

Both of you wait for the other to speak which leads to silence. It’s not exactly comfortable but it’s not awkward either. A few seconds pass and both of you start laughing to fill the empty space.

“It got out” 

“I saw. Are you going to say anything” Aitana asks and she gets a shake of a head in response.

“I just want to play football. It’s all i‘ve ever wanted and now I’m a story”

The small Catalonian hands you a bottle of water out of the mini fridge.

“Can I ask you a question as friend and not as a player?” You ask her.

“You mean a player who plays for Barca?” The look she receives gives her the answer “Right now I’m your friend”

“Before I start I want you to know that I haven’t made up my mind yet but if I were to sign for Barcelona would they be able to get over my last name?”

Your team mates up until now had always let you be your own person. Ajax and the National team meant a lot to your father but you were never compared to him within the team. One of the reasons why is because they met him. The got to know Johan the supportive father but in Barcelona they only knew or knew of Johan Cruyff the legend, the man who invented Barcelona football.

“Your last name means something to the club and the team. If you sign for Barcelona you will become a part of our family. Some of the girls may freak out at the beginning. They will ask you questions about him but they mean nothing by it”

“You didn’t. I’ve known you for a few years now and you never asked about him even though I know you are a huge fan. You wear his number for god’s sake”

“I am huge fan of your fathers but when Barcelona first asked me to work with the foundation and work with you, that is what really excited me. I am a Y/N Cruyff fan first and a Johan Cruyff fan second”

“That’s not true” you laugh at her effort to make you feel better.

“It’s an even tie. I guess what I’m trying to say is I got to you know you as a person. At the minute the girls don’t know you like I do but once they do I promise they won’t see you for your last name”

“Ok”

“Ok? So does that mean you’re coming to Barca?” The young midfielder couldn’t help herself. She wanted you to come to the team for more reasons than one.

“Nice try. I have a few weeks to make my decision”

Not wanting to overstay your welcome given that you weren’t invited in the first place, you thank Aitana for listening before bidding her farewell.

“We are going to Ibiza after the final. If you want to you could join us and get to know your my team mates you know just in case you join us. Feel free to invite some of your friends too”

“I just might take you up on that offer Aitana. Thank you again. I’ll see you in a few days, maybe”

“Good luck for the final”

If only her well wishes worked. The Netherlands end up losing 2-0 in the final against the United States. It was a heart breaking loss but you chose to focus on what you could learn from the game and be proud of the fact that you made the World Cup final in the first place. It would hurt for a while but you could think of worse places to wallow than in Ibiza with your closest friends and those that could soon be your new team mates.

[leviathans-watching]

Uuuh uuuh uuuuh I got a request!

Remember that drabble you did about Mc from the new obey me game keeping a painful distance from the brothers cuz they are not the same brothers as the one form the og game?

What about a reversed perspective for this one?

How does the brothers feel about an mc who's clearly into them and clearly keeping distance?

obn!brothers reacting to a distant mc

includes: the brothers x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .7k | rated t | m.list

a/n: oooh this was so fun! and i really think that they'd just think mc was a freak lololol. thanks for requesting and i hope you enjoy!! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback, so come stop by!

please please please reblog

➳ lucifer just doesn’t understand. sure, it’s not like he wants this random demon to be all buddy-buddy with him and his brothers, but sometimes you act in the oddest of ways. sometimes you seem to be able to practically read his mind, leaving him with a strange sense of familiarity, but other times you won’t even look him in the eyes. he knows he can be harsh, but surely it wasn’t to that extent, right? it’s not like he wants you to be buddy-buddy with them, but he has to admit he wants to see that sadness leave your eyes when you look at them.

➳ mammon scratches his head. that was the second time today you’d done that. the two of you were just having a nice conversation and then you’d suddenly shut down, eyes going a million miles away. you’re a strange one, that’s for sure. and the way you kept your distance from them was just plain hurtful. mammon was once a great angel and you won’t even talk to him half of the time! even despite all of his gracious attempts to try to get to know you better. all for your benefit, of course, no other reason.

➳ levi hesitates to approach you sometimes. not because he doesn’t like you, but because you don’t seem to like him very much. you jump when he talks to you, as if you’ve seen a ghost, and when you think no one’s looking, extend that to all of them as if you can’t quite believe what you’re seeing. at first, he’d kind of thought it was angel/demon prejudice, but as time goes on, it really doesn’t seem like that’s the case. and whenever someone tries to ask, you play dumb, an act that convinces no one, except for maybe diavolo. but he’s always been an odd guy too.

➳ satan can’t figure you out at all. you’re hardly scared by his outbursts, or at least hide it well, and you sometimes talk to him as if you guys speak comfortably all of the time. you also have his tastes figured out, recommending him books that are weirdly suited to him, but at the same time, you seem cautious towards him. like you’re trying not to get too close. but again, it doesn’t seem like it’s due to his anger. you’re often nicer to him then compared to when he’s more levelheaded, and it’s kind of nice but also confusing at the same time.

➳ asmo watches you move around them, suspicion rising in his bones. you’re just so attuned to him and his brithers–acting before they speak, sensing what they need before they do. it’s like you can predict their movements, and he’s not excluded from the treatment. you know his favorite brands even though he can’t remember telling you them, cook his eggs just to his liking, and even understand his complex closet organizational system without him having to explain it. yet you pretend you don’t, asking questions he’s sure you already know the answer to, and it just rubs him the wrong way, there’s something off about you.

➳ beel thinks you’re pretty nice. you understand the pull of their sins without passing judgment, help them out when needed, but you maintain a coolness, a distance he can’t quite bridge despite his efforts. and sometimes, you’ve got this look of grief in your eyes that makes him wonder if you’ve lost someone too, but you never open up about it, dancing around your past with the help of solomon. he wants to get to know you better, connect with you, but sometimes, that seems like the last thing you want.

➳ belphie wants to hate you, he really does. how is he supposed to accept this random demon in their house, all up in their business, just because stupid diavolo commanded it? ridiculous. but you grow on him over time and he finds himself wanting to get to know you better despite his best efforts, something you don’t seem to want, except for every now and again when you’re strangely soft with him. he doesn’t get it and definitely doesn’t get you; what kind of demon is so nice anyway?

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[clonedchaos]

Ripple Effect

Orchids and Oranges: A Yasammy Week Special

Yippee! It's Yasammy Week, brought to you by @yasammyweek! Pardon the late kickoff, had to attend my sister's bridal shower today as well as writing this 2,000 word one shot in one day. I know most ppl here are doing art, but I can't draw, so fanfic it is! Enjoy! <3

Day 1: Hurt/Comfort

Rating: G/PG

Summary: Yaz thought she had left the dinosaurs behind. She thought it was time for her to finally heal… until she came face to face with one on the mainland.

AO3 Version:

Tumblr Version:

Yaz wrapped her arms tighter around Sammy’s waist as she gradually got used to the fluid movement of the stallion below them. The saddle wasn’t the most comfortable or practical of inventions, but Sammy had insisted it was far better than riding bare back.

Yaz let her gaze wander as a smile crossed her lips and her heart gave a little flutter. The maple trees surrounding them were colored in vibrant shades of orange, red, and brown. Despite fall coming to a close, Texas was still as humid as ever. It was the polar opposite of her home upstate— the moment it hit October, the temperature would plummet. 

Yaz had gotten used to the frigid air over the years thanks to her daily morning runs. She would be quite out of her element down here if it weren’t for the months she spent stuck on a tropical island. She’d take the Texas heat over Nublar’s every single time.

And, of course, she loved Texas because of Sammy. Her parents had been the textbook definition of southern hospitality ever since Yaz came down to spend the week with them. Sammy had been a hurricane of energy and enthusiasm ever since her arrival. She talked a mile a minute at any possible opportunity and paraded Yaz around to see every nook and cranny of their land. It had been fun; she knew Sammy had been waiting a long time to introduce her officially to her family-- cattle included.

A pleasant breeze brushed past them, Sammy’s hair tickling Yaz’s nose. Yaz sneezed, the sheer power of the act nearly sending her reeling backwards.

”Bless you!” Sammy immediately chimed in, looking over her shoulder. Her hands held the reins in a loose grip as the stallion came to a stop. His ears and tail twitched. Yaz’s behavior had irked him.

“Sorry about that, bud,” She apologized, patting the horse on the flank. A whistle and nudge from Sammy ushered the stallion forward again. 

The cowgirl kept her eyes on her girlfriend. Yaz felt that wasn’t the appropriate course of action given she was the one guiding the horse down the path. It seemed almost as dangerous as taking your eyes off the road while driving.

”The trees are mighty beautiful, aren’t they?” Sammy cooed with a grin. She reached forward and plucked a leaf out of Yaz’s hair. How long had that been in there?

”It is beautiful, Sammy,” Yaz admitted. Truly, the scenery was gorgeous. The Gutierrez’s land was pure nature’s bliss, all 700 acres of it. She liked to call it “The Eight Wonder of the World.”

Sammy glanced up towards the sky, its colors glowing with muted hues of pink, blue, and purple. “It’s gettin’ late. Perhaps we should head back to the stable.” Her gaze darted to and fro before she leaned forward and whispered, “Ol Kota’s eyesight isn’t as great as it once was.”

Kota nickered in response. Yaz snorted. “I think he heard you.”

"Oh, that wasn't an insult, boy!" Sammy quickly corrected sheepishly, getting a chuckle out of Yaz. Sammy's baby talk toward her critters wasn't at all meant to be taken seriously, but Yaz couldn't help but think it was adorable. 

“I suppose you’re right. Hey, think I could beat Kota in a race?” Yaz asked with a clear undertone of a challenge. If he galloped at full speed, she knew he would be able to overtake her effortlessly. But at his old age, she might just have a chance if he were to trot.

Sammy’s eyes shone as she turned her attention back onto Yaz. “Oh, that’s a gre—“

Kota saw the Triceratops first. The elder stallion reared up onto his back legs. Yaz lost her grip on Sammy and hit the ground hard. The breath drew out of her lungs, leaving her momentarily stunned at the blunt impact. Surely that was going to leave a sizable bruise on her tailbone.

”Woah, boy! Easy… Easy!” Sammy yelped as she tightened the reins and fought for control. Yaz instinctively rolled to the side to avoid getting trampled on by hooves, just barely scraping by with nothing more than a dust cloud in her face.

With her chest heaving in gulps of air, Yaz finally lifted her gaze toward the instigator. A bulky Triceratops stood before them in the path, its head lowered and grazing on the sparse patches of grass that sprung up from the dirt trail. At the stallion’s cry of fear, the herbivore lifted its head. Its horns glinted off the dying sunlight’s rays, the tips sharpened points that could skewer her should the animal desire.

Yaz didn’t know why, but she screamed. She screamed a blood curdling cry that sent the nearby birds scattering. Her hands tore up clumps of dirt as she balled them into a fist. Her heart pounded, she could hear it in her ears and feel the blood coursing through her veins. It was getting hard to breathe. Why could she not breathe? Why couldn't she think? Why was her vision spinning? Was it a concussion, or was she losing it?

The Triceratops bellowed and raked its front leg on the ground. Despite being in fear’s clutches, Yaz subconsciously knew it was about to charge. Suddenly the aspect of getting trampled by a horse seemed far more appealing.

The Triceratops stomped forward, waving its horns threateningly. Yaz couldn’t move. She wanted to pull herself off the ground and bolt toward the nearest tree. She wanted to be safe, to be inside, to be far away from this prehistoric beast. But her body was rooted to the floor, tied down by unseen vines. Despite the adrenaline pulsing through her veins and the chilling numbness of her hands, she could only watch powerlessly as she sat directly in the line of fire.

“Yaz!” Sammy was suddenly right by her side on horseback. Quite literally her knight in shining armor. She extended a hand down to her. Yaz felt a sharp pierce plunge through her heart at the palpable fear she found lying behind Sammy's eyes. “Come on!”

Yaz still felt frozen by invisible roots. She wanted to reach for Sammy. She wanted them to huddle under the blanket fort Sammy had insisted they build in her room last night. Her and Sammy had been at checkers for nearly two hours before Sammy’s mother had called them down for dinner. She wanted to wake up in the morning and breathe in the aroma of fresh, fluffy cinnamon rolls and salted, crisp bacon. Would she ever partake in these memories again? Or would they be snuffed out, much like her life might very well be. If only she could just…

MOVE!

With one hand wrapped around the stirrup, Sammy leaned down and grabbed Yaz by the arm. Yaz knew her girlfriend was strong, like really really strong. Calling her "country strong" wasn't just a cute pet name, it was a fact.

Sammy's rapid maneuver was enough to nudge Yaz up and back into the saddle. With a quick snap of the reins and click of her heels, Sammy ushered Kota forward. The trike missed them by a hair, nearly getting clocked on the muzzle by the stallion's hooves.

Yaz had her arms wrapped around Sammy in a death grip, her face buried against her wool jacket. It felt like she was holding her breath for every second until they had made it safely to the barn. Her chest was tight and sweat rolled down the side of her head. She could barely feel her fingers besides the buzzing, staticky feeling she noticed there.

"Yaz?" 

She looked up with rounded eyes. Sammy released the reins and kicked her leg up and over as she dismounted. Immediately, she turned and extended a hand toward Yaz in a gesture of assistance. "Are you okay?"

No. No she wasn't. With a shaky breath and trembling hand, she reached out. Sammy's hands were worn with numerous callouses; no doubt a result from her long days of working hard on the ranch. Her fingers intertwined with Yaz's. At the touch, the dam holding back her tears finally broke. Yaz sank to her knees and began to sob.

Sammy was right there, kneeling down and pulling her into an embrace. "It's okay, Yaz. I'm here," She cooed, gently rubbing her back in a circular motion. 

Yaz nestled closer to her, hoping Sammy's very presence would be enough to chase away her inner demons. "I... I thought... I thought we'd be done with dinosaurs," She admitted weakly. She hated feeling like this. Vulnerable. It was like she was a little kid all over again; someone who needed to be coddled and comforted by her mother.

"I know..." Sammy replied sympathetically as she rested her head against Yaz's. "I wasn't expecting to see a trike so close to home."

It was getting a little easier to breathe now. Just a little. "Why? Why is it here?" She choked out, closing her eyes.

Sammy grew silent. Yaz didn't expect her to answer that rhetorical question. After all, how in the world would she know what a dinosaur was doing hundreds of miles from Nublar?

Rather, Sammy began to hum. Her tone lilted in a melancholic sway. Yaz seemed momentarily taken aback as her heartbeat began to steady and her limbs slackened. With every rise and fall in tempo, Yaz begun to notice an unmistakable pattern in the rhythm.

Yaz leaned back and cupped Sammy's cheek in her hand. Her eyes still stung, and she knew she probably looked like a bedraggled mess. Right now, that didn't matter. "How do you know that song?"

Sammy leaned into Yaz's touch. "Your mother taught it to me. She knows you've been having a tough time since the island..." She trailed off and averted her gaze.

Yaz relaxed her features and silently urged Sammy to continue. "She told me it used to help you when you were little... and I thought it might help in this situation," She murmured sheepishly and rubbed her arm in embarrassment with flushed cheeks.

Yaz cracked a gentle smile at that and swiftly planted a kiss atop her forehead. "It did help. I'm sorry. For freezing like that..."

"Hey, none of that," Sammy lectured sternly with a good-natured smile. She held both of Yaz's hands in her own. "Just because we're off the island, it doesn't mean those feelings just up and disappeared. But I know you, Yaz. You're the bravest, most stubborn fighter I know. We just need to take baby steps again."

Baby steps. Right. It was like running a marathon; you don't go full sprint right off the bat. You pace yourself until you're further along with the finish line in sight.

"It just... surprised me is all," Yaz continued. The fireflies casted a gentle, infrequent glow across the purple and blue painted sky. "I thought I would be over this. But what if...? What if there are more dinosaurs?" Particularly the ones that would have them for a midnight snack.

"I don't know," Sammy admitted, returning the kiss on Yaz's forehead. "But what I do know is that I'm here if you ever need me. We conquered Nublar together. And if dinosaurs are on the mainland now, we'll conquer that together too. You're stronger than your fears."

Yaz smiled and pulled Sammy close. There was one constant in her life when it came to dinosaurs: Sammy. When her PTSD got the better of her on Manta Corp's island, she was there to help ease her nerves and shift her attention toward other matters. Even if they were states apart, she knew Sammy would just be a phone call away. And that was enough.

"I'll always be here for you, mi rosa. For now, and forever."

[naomikozura]

Playing With Fire: Chapter 10

Jason Todd (Red Hood) x Fem!Reader (Criminal)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Forbidden Romance

Warnings: strong language, violence, mentions of gun use, abuse, mentions of bombs, death, mental and physical torture, bodily harm, blood, angst no comfort, past trauma (lmk if I missed any!)

WC: 11.7K

Summary: Six years ago...

Series Masterlist

Chapter 9 || Chapter 11

Six Years Earlier || Jason’s POV

Gotham Academy was known for its influx of high society students all of which were practically bred into the life of glitz and glamor. If there was one thing he hated more than criminal scum, it was that of the students at Gotham Academy. The uptightness, the rude, and mainly the ones who only talked to him in hopes to get to Bruce Wayne, his adoptive millionaire of a father. Jason never bothered to try and make friends, especially since he could sense their motives from a mile away. He didn’t care about school, his life revolved around nightlife. His responsibilities as Robin. Ever since he first put the suit on he felt exhilarated, he felt whole, like he was on top of the world. His day life was too mundane, too boring. 

The teacher rambled through another lecture, trying to get the students involved and even though a few did catch interest, Jason felt bored and ignored the teacher to look out the window. The class was right next to the open field that was by the entrance of the academy. He noticed three figures walking up the sidewalk to the front doors. It was a taller dark haired man, a red headed woman, and a smaller figure. A girl. close to his age or probably a year younger than him. Was she late? Was she new? 

“Mr. Todd. Would you like to tell us what we just discussed?”, Jason snapped to look at the teacher who stood tapping her foot impatiently. 

“I, um..”

“Focus. Next time I won’t give you a warning.”, Jason scowled at her comment, sliding down in his seat as he zoned out once again. Another 15 minutes passed and there was a knock on the door. The teacher stopped to open the door and the schools Head Director stepped through, the girl from earlier behind him. Jason immediately snapped up, his attention back in focus. 

“Good morning class. Sorry to interrupt Ms. Leonard but you have a new student for your second hour class. Class, this is (Y/n) (L/n). She’s new at Gotham Academy and she’ll be in your second year classes for the remainder of year and moving forward until graduation. Please introduce yourself during passing periods and make her feel welcome.” 

You didn’t say hello or even introduce yourself, you just moved to the first empty seat you saw and class continued for the last ten minutes before being dismissed. Jason followed behind you, seeing as some people tried to introduce themselves and you just ignored them. Aren’t new kids supposed to like this type of attention? 

The school day went by and Jason found that the two of you shared two classes together, which was a given since you were in the same year and Gotham Academy kept classmates close to build those networks and friendships. 

The day ended and Jason walked back to the Manor, his head focused on you all day. Why did you look familiar? He didn’t see you after class, especially since the last hour you had different classes. When he arrived home, he went to the kitchen to find Alfred preparing dinner for him, Dick, and Bruce. Jason walked to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge and undid the cap as he heard Alfred’s voice echo through the room. 

“Good afternoon Master Jason. I hope school went well today.”, his voice was calm as it normally was, Jason watching as he placed something into the oven. 

“Hey Alfred. Yeah, it was interesting. We have a new girl in our class”, Jason said as he leaned over the counter, taking a drink of his water. 

“A new student? Isn’t it a bit late in the term?”

“That’s what I was thinking. Maybe her family was able to pull some strings and get her enrolled. She’s quiet.”, Jason thought back at your actions back at school.

“She’s probably just not used to such a place like the academy. You remember how overwhelming it was when you first started?”, Alfred had a point.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right Alfred.”, Jason grabbed another water from the fridge before heading upstairs. “I’ll be down for dinner in a bit.”

Jason closed the door, locking it before pulling out his laptop and trying to do a soft search on your background. He used Bruce’s background systems, the state or the art and yet, you were completely nonexistent. No background, no family, no education, nothing. But how did you get into Gotham Academy if you didn’t even have a public record? 

He thought, thinking of the names of the couple he saw walk you into the school. He typed in their names, and like he hit the jackpot, he was able to see their family history and that you were adopted recently by them. The East End Orphanage. Where all the kids who live on the street go if they’re under 18 and somehow get caught by the police. Jason knew that most kids preferred to live on the street than deal with the messiness of an adoption, to deal with the publicity and image that the families would get for helping a “troubled life”. It was an ego booster for the high class in Gotham. Nothing more. 

Yet, he wanted to give your particular family the benefit of the doubt. 

Maybe it wasn’t that way for you. 

Jason closed the laptop. He had no right looking into your background when he didn’t even know you. You could just be some other new student and mind your business and him his. Yet a tugging in his chest made it difficult to leave things just be. 

He ignored the thought as he changed out of his clothes and went into the gym, letting his mind drift into patrol training versus the new girl in his class. That needed his focus more. 

Jason looked out the window, taking in some of the seniors outside in the lawn playing soccer as he tuned out whatever his teacher was saying about midterms. Right then, the bell had rung for class to be dismissed, his body in autopilot as he grabbed his bag and walked into the hall, the crowds of students flooding the hallways as he made his way to his locker. Although Jason was well known and popular at the Academy, he often felt bored with the day to day, his friends being the only thing keeping him from just skipping class. That and Bruce would actually kill him if he found out Jason was skipping his classes. 

As he walked towards the lockers, he saw a familiar set of (h/c) hair, his heart skipping a beat as he watched you in front of your locker, your face buried in a textbook. Jason stopped in the hall, contemplating his next move as he bit his lip, his impulsiveness winning over logic. He walked towards you, trying to come up with an approach in the five seconds it would take to reach you. 

He walked towards you, all eyes watching as he reached your locker and your head lifted, turning to face him with a blank expression and darkness in your eyes. Damn. If he didn’t already know any better he would think you wanted to rip his head off with how dark and blank your stare was. You didn’t say anything, and it made him get a chill from the awkwardness that filled the air, but forced himself to speak with confidence. 

“Hey”, he said in a calm, even tone, casually leaning against the locker next to yours. 

You stared at him blankly, your face neutral with uninterest. 

“I’ve seen you around.”, he continued. “You’re new here right? I just thought I’d say hi.”

You glanced at him, your eyes cold and indifferent. You didn’t smile or reply right away. You just closed your book, pushing it into the locker neatly before closing it then turning towards him. “I’m busy.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, trying to keep his composure but you really were standoffish. “Hey, I’m not a bad guy, I just… I’d like to get to know you better.”

Before you could answer, Jason’s friends, who had been watching from a few paces away, decided to make their presence known. They swaggered over, clearly enjoying the spectacle. 

“Jason, are you seriously trying to talk to her?” one of them snickered. “You know she’s got a reputation, right?”, by the time Jason tried to catch you, you were long gone, disappearing into the ocean of people. He felt a tug in his gut, an annoyance flooding him as he listened to his friends continue their stupid spiel. 

Another friend stepped closer, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Yeah, I heard she’s been in trouble—like, serious trouble. Thief, arrested, all that crap. Why waste your time?”

“Guys, seriously, lay off. I’m just trying to have a conversation.”, he protested. “She’s new, it doesn’t hurt to make transfer students feel more welcome.”

“She isn’t a transfer dude, she was picked up off the street.”

One of them threw their arm around his shoulders, leaning in mocking him. “Oh, man. Are you that desperate? C’mon you’re a Wayne. You can do better than that.”

“Seems like Mr. Wayne passed down the charm, always gotta be nice to everyone.”

“Shit, Jason. You could use that charm on any other girl, why her?”

“Why don’t we fuck with her, set her up on a fake date and see if she shows. Man that’ll be hilarious” 

Jason felt a surge of annoyance. What dicks. “You guys are assholes. Why are you guys even indulging in dumbass rumors, just because there’s talk doesn’t mean it’s true.” 

“It’s not about what’s true or not. She has a record, someone found her juvenile record, it’s fact. You’re really gonna get involved with someone like that?”

“C’mon man, you’re a Wayne, you got no business entertaining someone at that low of a level”

Little did they know he also had a juvenile record, luckily enough, Bruce was able to keep it off public. It was erased completely actually. Regardless of his name, thanks to his adoptive father, he was no different than you. The Wayne name was the only thing that separated him from who he was before Bruce found him. His jaw clenched at how easy it was for these assholes to rip into anyone they saw as beneath them. 

“Whatever. I’m not interested in rumors.”, he spit out, his friends only shrugging and laughing it off. 

“Ah, alright. We’re just fucking around. C’mon let’s go to gym. Coach will kill us if we’re late again.” 

Jason rolled his eyes, his head turning back down the hall, staring at the empty space where your presence lingered before he turned around and continued down the opposite direction with his so-called friends. 

He wondered if he’d see you at the Academy again, his mind filled with how different the entire interaction could’ve gone. He pushed the thought away as he continued down the hall, the day passing by and everything continuing as it normally did everyday.

Once school was released, Jason sat outside during the last few minutes of the day before heading off, heading a group of girls past behind him and started to laugh. Their voices clawed at his insides. 

“Is that…. Is that her?”

“Yeah, I heard that they took her off the streets after she got arrested”

“Who let a person like that into the academy? Have we started going downhill?”

He turned his head slightly to see what they were laughing at. Jason felt himself burn with anger, his chest filling with an anger he didn’t know how to control. He turned his head, looking at the girls as they stifled their laughs and pointed at you as you walked by. 

He knew the girls did nothing but start rumors, they were known for this at the academy but he felt something stab at him when he saw you trip and fall to the ground, the contents of your bag falling everywhere. This fucker. Jason thought as he saw a familiar set of blonde hair towering over you, mocking and laughing at you. 

“Looks like you still enjoy picking trash off the ground, streetrat.”, the comment alone made Jason boil. You were picking up your belongings when he saw the guy grab your arm and tighten his hand enough to make it noticeable. 

“Hey, I’m talking to you, street rat” 

Jason had enough, if he didn’t stop this no one else would. He was surprised they were even able to find out who you were in the past few weeks. Turns out the blonde’s father was in business with your adoptive father and he had mentioned the topic of adopting you from the East End Orphanage and so started the whispers in the hallways. Even Jason couldn’t ignore them. 

“Now, let’s calm down, yeah?”, Jason’s voice hardened, stepping in front of you to block you from view in hopes they would leave. 

“You’re lucky I don’t have time to waste on charity cases, Todd.”, and with that he left. 

“Sorry about that, you okay? It looks like your arm might bruise up”, Jason stretched his hand out to help you stand but you pushed him aside and walked away. 

“Hey! You’re walking away again?”, he hadn’t even had enough time to stop as you whipped around to look into his eyes, his heart skipping a beat. 

“Who are you? What do you want?”, you asked him with a sting in your tone. He looked at you with surprised eyes.

“I remember you, from a few months ago. I offered you water.”, he tried to get you to listen but you replied harshly,  not bothering to turn around. 

“No, sorry. I think you got the wrong person.”. 

He stood there in place as you walked off, heading back towards the courtyard to grab his own bags when he noticed the same blonde from earlier. He walked up, grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder. 

“What’s up with that, Todd? We don’t give people like her a second thought. This academy was built on prestige, don’t waste your time trying to convince her that she belongs here. She will never be one of us.”

“I think that’s a load of shit and you know it, Mitch.”

“Whatever. But know where your loyalties lie. You’re the son of Bruce Wayne, not some street rat who plays suits.”, with that, he turned and walked away. Jason watching his retreating figure. 

Little do they know. 

He breathed before walking back towards the manor. 

There was an overwhelming sensation flooding his body, the way he was able to take flight and feel the wind on his skin and feel free. For the first time in his life, Jason felt on top of the world. Jason took a deep breath, savoring the crisp night air as it whipped past him. He was stunting his new Robin suit that Bruce had helped update for his growing stature. The mask fit his face better and the utility belt held more variety of weapons.

The new Robin suit was more than just an upgrade; it was a symbol of trust and growth. Bruce had never given him this much space before, and Jason intended to prove he was ready for it. The suit's upgraded features and enhanced utility belt felt like an extension of himself, perfectly in tune with his movements. It was the best thing that he could receive almost like he was a kid opening presents on Christmas. 

He had the night to himself. It was rare that Bruce would let him out on his own, but he promised to stay out of trouble in order to get him to approve of his nightly adventures. He was at an age where Bruce trusted him to go out alone and not get into trouble. Trouble meant being potentially benched from the field and that was not something he wanted. Not when he felt on top of the world right now. 

He found himself going through the city, jumping from the roofs of buildings one after another. He came across a building that looked over the main streets of Gotham, the lights shining up from the ground. He jumped on the top of the roof and looked down at the streets. The sounds of the cars passing by and the small noises of the people left on the street filled the night to keep it from feeling eerie. 

Jason looked over the passing cars, his eyes looking over the streets until he turned his head, catching a glimpse of a figure sitting on the edge of the building. He used the compact binoculars in his belt to look, seeing a girl around the same age as him, her back facing him so she was oblivious to his quiet figure. He wondered what she was doing out alone in the cold, and why so late at night?

He jumped down from the building that was just a bit taller from where you sat. walking over to you, his stealth helping from making a loud noise when he jumped down. He noticed that she had (h/c) hair, reaching her mid back and it was a bit messy, blowing in the air since it started to get colder as the minutes passed. 

“It’s a bit chilly to be out here isn’t it?”, he said, announcing his presence. 

You turned around, looking at him with the most beautiful pair of (e/c) eyes he had ever seen. You were prettier than he thought. Hell, he can’t even remember if any of the girls at the Academy were as pretty as she was. Your skin being illuminated by the light of the city, noticing your knee bouncing from the cold. It was a lot colder tonight than the past few days. 

You saw his face and after looking down at his chest, the noticeable ‘R’ shining on his chest like a badge of honor and protection. You seemed to visibly calm down. That gave him the perfect in to get closer to you. 

“Shouldn’t you be with the Batman or did you finally get granted privileges?”, you spoke out, the sarcasm dripping from your tone. He smirked to himself, amused by your comment. 

“That’s funny, but I do go solo sometimes, get a feel of the streets.”, he walked over and stood next to where you were sitting, trying to act as cool as possible at the fact that he was sitting next to one of the prettiest girls he had seen in a while. Probably ever in his whole life, even more than Barbara. 

“What are you doing up here? Don’t you have a curfew?”, he genuinely asked, wondering why someone as young as you was sitting out in the middle of the night. Of course, she could ask the same to him. 

“I snuck out. Don’t necessarily care what the family tells me.”, he noticed the sadness in your tone and the fact that you didn’t say ‘my’ family but ‘the’ family. Were you adopted? An indentured servant? 

“I see, well, I’m Robin, what’s your name?”, he smiled at you, hoping he could get some sort of response. 

“If I tell you, will you leave me alone?”, Okay ouch. 

“Depends”, he said while swinging his feet, trying to act as nonchalant as he could to get a name out of you. 

“Depends on what?”

“Depends on how this conversation goes.”, Jason kept poking at you, hoping you would give your name even though he knew he couldn’t give his in return. 

“(Y/n).”

He smiled over at you before looking back over the city. It suited you well, it sounded like it would be the only name he would end up thinking about for the next few days.

“That’s a nice name”. 

He noticed your hands shaking, pulled open a small compartment to his belt and pulled out a little baggie, turning on the heat button and passing it to you calmly. You looked down at his hands before you hesitated in taking the item. 

“It’s a hand warmer”, Jason answered, knowing your question was stuck in the back of her throat. Your eyes narrowed slightly before taking it, he watched as you let the warmth sink into your skin and hold it in a tight grasp. 

“Why are you up here alone?”, he found himself a bit intrigued, he couldn’t quite place why he wanted to sit and talk to you, maybe it was just his hormones, puberty, or something else but he couldn’t bring himself to care for the reason. 

“It helps me escape.”. He paused not knowing what to say to that but somehow understood what you meant. Hell, he chose to become Robin to escape from living in the streets. Of course, Bruce found him and took him in, training him and showing him the ropes but it was still his form of escape. His freedom all wrapped in red, black, and yellow. 

“I don't have to think about the world down there, I can just escape reality for a while”, Jason stared at you for a moment longer, feeling the emotion that poured out of you touch him “This city hasn’t been kind to me, so being up here lets me escape that I live in this shithole.”

“Would you leave if you could?”, he asked. 

“Oh god, yes. If I could hop on a plane and disappear from this city forever I would do it in a heartbeat.”, Jason smiled at the response, a part of him having the same feeling. 

He felt like he could escape from his life on the streets when Bruce took him in. He felt like this second life as a vigilante distracted him from the cruelty in the world, wishing he could get rid of all the bad people in the world and make it a better place. 

“Yeah, me too.” he answered truthfully, hoping you’d find solace in his answer. 

Jason felt your eyes staring at him, and he turned to look at you. Everything seemed to fall perfectly into place, the moment was everything he needed at that point in time. Right when the moment seemed too perfect to be ruined, that familiar voice rang out through his comms. 

“Robin, where are you?”, he turned off his radio, forcing himself to his feet and stepping off the ledge. 

“I’m sorry. I have to go.”, he apologized and noticed your face glow with a small smile. It made him happy knowing there was someone who found the same escape in such a shitty city. Right as he turned to leave, he stopped, turning towards you, and speaking out. 

“I hope we can meet again soon, it’d be nice to get to know you more (Y/n).”.

~

~

~

Jason felt like a love sick boy, the days went by slowly when he wouldn’t see you. He knew the both of you went to the same academy, but he couldn’t risk making himself stick out that much to you. It would give away who he was too carelessly. Though, he enjoyed being able to spend the spare time of his patrol nights with you. You both shared your dreams and future aspirations, the way the world was cruel but there could be good in it too. 

The both of you had a lot in common, Jason especially liked that your eyes would shine when you talked about traveling and seeing the world. You wanted to try all these different foods and see different museums, the biggest libraries, everything. He liked that the most, that you found interest in similar things like he did. He loved reading books and you liked art and museums. You were deep and intricate about things people at the Academy were very surface level about. When you mentioned wanting to visit libraries and galleries abroad, Jason turned to you, raising his pinky up and promising a pact for the two of you. You stared at him before raising your own pinky, promising with him. Jason promised to leave Gotham with you once you were old enough, to see the world and visit every place on your bucket list. He got drunk off your laughter, especially when you smiled at him and promised that you would follow him to every part of the world.

Jason wasn’t sure when he started to feel so strongly about you, but he was sure he was starting to fall for you. You two just clicked, it was all so natural, so calming, so mundane. It brought him into wanting to live a normal life with you, maybe even the rest of his. He liked that you had a fiery personality, you weren’t scared to stand up for yourself and you were passionate about the things you wanted. It made you stand out that much more to him and he wondered if any part of him stood out to you too.

Jason remembers you sharing about your life on the streets, the way the family that was a part of Gotham’s elite adopted you, and the way you felt grateful but spiteful at the same time. He felt his heart tug at the thought of the city being so cruel to you. He wanted to be the one you found comfort in. He could see how your eyes changed when he told you how happy he was when someone like Bruce had taken him in, seeing the softness in your eyes. Jason found comfort in you, even if you were only strangers to one another, he enjoyed knowing you more. 

Jason felt the wind on his skin and brushing through his hair, the wind softly blowing yours as well. The both of you stood on the ledge of the building, looking down. Jason was known for his crazy antics within the family, his impulsivity, but in that moment he was sure he wanted to show you what flying felt like. He grabbed the grappling hook from his belt, extending his hand out to you, your eyes filled with confusion and uncertainty but took his hand anyway. 

The way you felt against him made him go crazy, almost like your body was made to fit in his perfectly. He grabbed you tightly, your arms around his neck and he shot the line and jumped off the building once it hooked. You were in the air for what felt like a lifetime, the sound of your laughter filling the air and his own following after yours. 

He kicked the window to the abandoned building in order to land safely, rolling over, Jason found himself under you, his heart beating fast inside his chest. The laughter leaving your mouth still sounds like a melody to him. 

Jason raised his hand and brushed your hair behind your ear, your smile still painted on your face in the most beautiful way. He smiled back at you, still trying to catch his breath. In that moment, he felt as though he lost control of all thought, he lost all self-control, he needed you to know how he felt. Needed to know how you tasted. 

He leaned up, placing a hand behind your head, and softly placing his lips against yours. He felt you tense slightly, but leaned into the kiss, the softness of them making him swoon. He tried to memorize the way they felt against his own, wanting them for the rest of his life. 

Jason wanted you, he was so sure. He hadn’t ever wanted anything so intently and intensely in his life before, not even being Robin compared to how he felt with you. You were like a newfound freedom, a deep rooted connection he never wanted to get rid of, a reason to keep going. 

And he would be yours in a heartbeat, all you had to do was tell him.

He wanted to be yours, he wanted you to have him.

All of him. 

That night, Jason returned to the Batcave, his heart still racing from his time with you, your touch lingering and overwhelming his senses. As he made his way in, the subdued hum from the Batcomputer and the dim lighting created a comforting backdrop, making the ambiance seem fitting to the cave. He took off his domino mask, holding it in his hands as he began to slip out of his Robin suit and started stowing it away when he heard Bruce’s voice, deep and steady, as it called out from the shadows. 

“You’re back early tonight.”

Jason’s head looked up, taking in Bruce’s form as he stepped out from behind the Batmobile, his cowl coming off his head as he revealed his face in a calm resting expression. Bruce;s eyes focused on Jason’s form, a mixture of curiosity and intrigue filling his expression. 

“Yeah, just finished up early.”, Jason replied, trying to keep his tone light as he shrugged. He moved over to the equipment area, pretending to check his stock in his belt. “Gotta keep an eye on things, you know, Robin things.”

Bruce’s gaze didn’t waver, his deduction already aware of where exactly Jason had been spending his nights alone the past few weeks. “You’ve been in a good mood lately. Anything specific happen tonight?”, Bruce questioned as he walked over to the computer. “You’ve been disappearing quite a bit on your solo patrols, even when we don’t have missions.”

Jason shrugged again, trying to stay nonchalant but couldn’t mask his subtle smile. “Nothing really, just nice to get out and do things alone. You know how it is.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced by Jason’s answer. “You’ve been out a lot more than usual, and not just on patrols.”

Jason fidgeted with a piece of gear, avoiding Bruce’s piercing gaze. "It’s just… been a good week. I just like going out alone. Sometimes, it’s nice to have something to look forward to."

Bruce’s expression hardened slightly, though he kept his tone even. "Jason, you know you can talk to me about anything. If something’s going on, I need to know. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe."

Jason met Bruce’s gaze briefly before looking away, back to fidgeting with his utility belt. "I’m fine, Bruce. Really. Just… enjoying life a little, that’s all. Enjoying the freedom"

Bruce’s eyes lingered on Jason. He had noticed the changes, the occasional late-night absences that didn’t coincide with their patrols. He understood the need for personal space, especially at Jason’s age but his obvious dismissal and evasiveness was a red flag. Deep down, Bruce knew there was more than Jason was letting on, and even if he wouldn’t say it out loud, Bruce already deduced exactly why. 

"Alright," Bruce said after a moment, though his tone remained serious. "Just remember, being Robin isn’t just about the suit or the thrill. It’s about responsibility and trust. Don’t let anything—" 

Jason cut him off, a touch of defensiveness in his voice. "I know, Bruce. I’m on top of it. Just—give me a little space, okay? I’ve got this."

Bruce studied him for a moment longer before nodding, though his concern remained evident. "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

Jason nodded and gave a light smile. "Thanks, Bruce."

As Bruce turned to leave, Jason’s expression softened slightly, a mix of relief and unresolved tension. Jason knew he was only trying to act like a good father figure, he knew Bruce cared about him and his safety but for now he wanted to keep you separate from his life at home. He wanted that part for himself. You were his own and he didn’t want to share that with Bruce or the rest of the family just yet. 

The early afternoon sunlight cast a warm glow over Gotham, the streets filled with all sorts of people either shopping, meeting up with friends, getting lunch, or just window shopping. Bruce and Jason walked through the upscale shopping district as the sounds of conversations floated all around them, the crowds enjoying the light breeze of the weather and soaking in the sun. Bruce suggested a brief outing to pick up a gift for one of his ‘friends’, a rare but nice moment that allowed both of them a sense of being normal people in society instead of vigilantes. 

Jason trailed slightly behind Bruce as they entered a nice jewelry store, the cases filled with intricate and beautifully designed pieces. Bruce walked around before stopping at a case, observing all of the pieces inside as Jason wandered off to the other side of the store, his attention drawing to a small display that held a collection of emerald jewelry pieces. The display had different handcrafted jewelry from delicate necklaces, dainty earrings, and intricate bracelets.

Jason paused, his eyes drawn to a dainty necklace displayed in the case, the green stone stunning as it reflected under the light. It was a classy design, simple but with a beautiful dark green emerald inside. It was the perfect mix of timeless and personable. The color and elegance drew him in, and before he knew it, he was calling over one of the clerks to help him. 

Bruce had noticed Jason talking to the clerk, his eyes observing as Jason pointed to the necklace in the case and examining it with his own eyes. Jason’s demeanor was different from his usual confident bravado; he seemed almost contemplative, as if weighing a decision of significant importance.

“Is this the necklace?”, the clerk asked as Jason nodded, looking at it with observant eyes. “Excellent choice, you have a very good eye, sir.”

Jason cleared his throat, slightly flustered but held his composure. “I’m also wondering, do you have any earrings that could possibly match this?”.

The clerk nodded, guiding Jason to the case just next to the necklaces as he pointed out a few different pairs. Bruce watched quietly as he picked out the gift he was getting, his curiosity piqued. Jason hadn’t ever bought gifts for anyone, but his choices in the jewelry shop were thoughtful and intentional. He was picking something special, with meaning, it wasn’t just a random purchase. 

After a few moments, Jason picked between four pairs of earrings, selecting the one that would go best with the necklace. The clerk nodded as he wrapped up the items neatly inside small velvet lined boxes before placing them carefully inside the store marked branded bag. Jason walked over to the register, pulling out his wallet and the card Bruce had gotten him that had his monthly allowance on it, quickly paying for the items and thanking the clerk for his help. 

Jason walked over to Bruce, who also had his own bag with jewelry inside, the both of them walking out and continuing their walk through the streets. “Something special for someone?”

Jason tensed, Bruce’s question catching him off guard as he smiled slightly with an airy laugh. “Just a small gift. Thought it might brighten someone’s day.”

“$5,000 is hardly a small gift.”, Bruce chuckled, the small tease going over Jason’s head as he saw his jaw clench and his shoulders tense. He raised an eyebrow at his son, deciding not to press further. He could tell Jason wasn’t ready to share those details, deciding it was better for him to share on his own terms. “It’s thoughtful. I’m sure whoever gets it will appreciate it.”, Bruce offered a genuine smile at Jason. 

“Yeah, I hope so”, Jason nodded, a small smile playing at his lips.

As they left the jewelry store and continued through the shopping district, Bruce couldn’t help but feel a sense of curiosity mingled with a hint of pride. Despite the tension that sometimes hung between them, moments like these reminded him that Jason was growing into his own person, a well raised young man that would eventually take the world by storm. Bruce felt a lot of pride in him, knowing he would soon be someone who valued his morals and family above all. 

The two walked side by side, each one lost in their own thoughts as a comfortable silence fell over the both of them. Jason felt a sense of anticipation, feeling content in his choice of his gift for you that made him feel warm inside, a feeling only he would cherish. Bruce felt a calm and relaxing feeling, the day a reminder of how in the midst of their complex lives, the both of them could still have mundane and normal lives outside of the night. 

~

~

~

The dining room of Wayne Manor was filled with the fresh smell of a well-prepared home cooked meal, thanks to Alfred’s gift for cooking. The food was set up nicely at the table, everything well laid for the family to share their weekly family dinner as tradition. 

Jason was wearing his normal home attire, a pair of dark jeans and an oversized hoodie as he leaned back in his chair, looking at some texts from his classmates from school for the midterm study group he had. Bruce eyed him, clearing his throat before Jason tucked his phone away. 

Bruce was stuck about his no phone at the table rule.

Bruce sat at the head of the table, quietly looking over his meal as the both of them waited for the final member to join them at the table. The atmosphere was quiet and calm, a normal and common aura that Jason had grown used to. The quiet was short lived when he heard his older brother barge through the front door and greet Alfred, making his way to the dining room and placing two hands on Jason’s shoulders. 

“Hey Jay, how’s it going”, he smirked, poking Jason’s cheek as Jason swatted him away. 

“Screw off, Dick.”, Jason pushed his older brother away, rolling his eyes as Dick walked over to greet Bruce before sitting down at the table. 

“So, how’s life as Boy Wonder, been enjoying it? God I hope you’re bringing it justice, can’t have you tarnishing the Robin name”, Dick was as overdramatic as he was charismatic and charming, but Jason looked up to his older brother even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. 

“Doing just fine. Been doing more for the Robin name than you ever could”, Jason smirked as Bruce smiled at himself. 

“Ooo, you’re playful today. What’s got you in a good mood?”, Dick leaned forward, taking a bite of his food as he raised an eyebrow at Jason. 

“Nothing.”, he said in a neutral tone. 

“Nah, what’s going on?”, Dick continued. “Oh, is it a girl? Alfred told me about how you bought a $5,000 necklace for a mystery person”

“Master Dick, please keep me out of your teasing”, Alfred said as he placed another pitcher of water on the table, replacing the empty one. 

“C’mon, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed that Jason’s been less grumpy the past few weeks”, Dick smirked, “There’s something going on, c’mon Jay, spill.” 

Jason narrowed his eyes, “Drop it, Dick.”

“You’re the one being all secretive. C’mon what happened to us telling each other everything? Besides, you’re starting to creep me out. You’re never this happy” 

The annoyance radiated off of Jason as he glared at his older brother. He might be the golden boy but he was an annoyance more than anything. 

Bruce finally decided to stop keeping his silence, speaking across the table at his adoptive sons. “Dick, let Jason have his privacy.”

“Ugh, fine”, Dick rolled his eyes, going back to his food but not before getting in his final words. “You owe me details later”, he said as he pointed his fork at Jason who ignored him. As Dick relaxed into his seat, Alfred chimed in regardless of how he just asked to be left out of the conversation. 

“Master Jason’s mood has improved significantly over the past few weeks.”, Alfred said casually, Jason slumping in his seat. “It’s nice to see him engaged and happy for a change.”

Bruce glanced at Jason, before looking over at Alfred, “Indeed. It’s good to see some change around here.”

The rest of the dinner was quiet, only filled with talk about Dick’s new job and how he and Barbara were supposed to go out for dinner in a week. Bruce only added in where the conversation needed it as well as Alfred. Jason ignored the conversation entirely, his mind entirely else where as he tried to focus on finishing dinner and retreating to his room. 

When dinner finished, Jason walked to the back of the house, stepping into the cool air as he looked at the pool that was in the backyard, enjoying the quiet. The sound of the sliding door opening made him turn around, then turn away in annoyance. 

“So, you gonna share what’s got you so happy?”, Dick teased. “Are you trying to keep her a secret?”, Jason looked away as Dick wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Ah, c’mon. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Back when I was Robin, I had all of the girls after me. It was a bit of a problem honestly.”

“Yeah, but you also couldn’t keep a girlfriend. You’re a dog, Dick.”, Jason muttered. 

“Ah, c’mon. Who is she? Is she cute? What is she like? Well she has to be pretty mature to tolerate someone as broody as you.”, Dick continued as he ruffled Jason’s hair, the annoyance seeping deeper into Jason’s bones. 

“Dick, leave Jason alone.”, Bruce had stepped out into the yard, having a basketball in hand as he walked over to both the boys.

“Hell yeah, 2 v. 1?”, Dick asked with a smirk, and Bruce sent one back.”C’mon Jay, you and me against the old man.”

Jason smirked at his older brother, following behind him as the three of them moved over to the basketball court and continued the evening with a friendly basketball game. The sense of normalcy falling over the family as thoughts of Jason’s improved mood began to slip away into the night, the only focus on the game the three of them played.

~

~

~

One Week Later

The dining room of the manor was quiet, the occasional clink of silverware ringing out through the silence. Bruce sat across from Jason at the table, enjoying the meal Alfred had prepared for the night. Despite having a nice dinner and the ambiance being calm, Jason felt distant, distracted, and his thoughts all over the place. 

Bruce watched him from across the table, noticing Jason’s distracted behavior. “Something on your mind, Jason?”

Jason’s eyes snapped towards Bruce, looking back down at his place with furrowed brows. “Nothing. Just… a lot on my mind recently.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”, Bruce hummed. 

“It’s just… it’s nothing.”

“You know you can talk to me right? You don’t have to keep everything bottled up.”, Bruce said openly, hoping Jason would take his offer to help. 

Jason only sighed, his mind still all over the place and couldn’t think straight. “It’s complicated. I’d rather just not get into it.”, he shifted in his seat. 

“Is it about that girl you’ve been sneaking out to see in the middle of the night?”, Bruce spoke calmly as he raised his fork to his mouth and took a bite of his food. Jason straightened, looking at Bruce from across the table. 

“How did you..”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at him, his gaze steady. “I’m a detective, Jason. Don’t act like I wouldn’t have figured it out eventually.”

Jason’s face flushed slightly, a mix of embarrassment and frustration crossing his features. “Are you going to make me stop seeing her?”

Bruce’s expression changed slightly, though his voice remained firm. “No. As long as it doesn’t affect your performance in the field, I’m not going to interfere. But you know what happens if she gets too involved.”

Jason’s eyes met Bruce’s, “I know. I’ve been careful.”

“You need to keep a balance. If your personal life starts compromising your work, it will become a problem. But I trust you to manage that.”

Jason’s shoulders relaxed a fraction, though his mind was clearly still preoccupied. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

The dinner continued in silence, Jason’s thoughts still spinning as they led back to you. He was struggling with the choice of telling you about who he was. Would Bruce even let him or would he shut down the idea immediately? That would be something to get into another time but for the time being Jason just wanted nothing more but to ensure that he was careful. 

He’d never forgive himself if you somehow got tangled up in his work in the field. He’d make sure that never happened. 

Even if his life depended on it. 

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆

Your laugh filled the air as Jason continued to tell you about his latest mission with Bruce and how he managed to knock out a bunch of Penguin’s goons when Bruce had cornered them after trying to rob a bank. He watched as the brightness in your eyes met his gaze, making him feel like he was on top of the world. 

“It was great”, he smiled brightly, his cheeks hurting from laughing for the past 15 minutes. “So, what about you? Anything exciting?”

You rolled your eyes as you played with the small ninja star he had let you hold. He’d always showed you the least dangerous weapons in his utility belt, aka those that couldn’t explode while you messed with it. 

“Not really.”, you smiled. “Oh, well maybe this might be interesting.”

He leaned back on his hands, letting his hair fall over his forehead instead of pushing it back. “Okay, shoot.”

“There’s this guy at school who keeps trying to talk to me and I don’t know what his deal is but it’s kinda annoying.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, trying to hold back a smirk. “Annoying how?”

“He’s always trying to get my attention, like he’s constantly hovering around me. He’s nice enough, but it feels like he’s just trying too hard. I don’t get it.”

Jason’s lips curled into a knowing grin as he tried to suppress a chuckle. “Sounds like he’s a bit overzealous.”

You glanced at him, sensing his amusement but not understanding the reason behind it. “Yeah, tell me about it. It’s like he doesn’t get the hint.”

Jason just laughed, letting himself enjoy the naivety you had. “Sometimes people do weird things. Maybe he just wants to be your friend.”

“I don’t need friends.”

“So what does that make me then?”, he moved his head towards you. 

“A pain in my ass”, you smiled at him and Jason moved his hands towards his chest in a stabbing motion as shoved him gently while he laughed. 

“You seem to think its funny when it’s not”

“Just give the guy a chance, maybe he’ll be more than you expect.”, he shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I think I’ll pass. Besides I don’t need anyone else, I have you.”, you said as you hugged your knees to your chest and laid your head on them, watching him as your hair fell over your arm but framed your face perfectly.

The night continued in ease, the both of you catching up after a week of not seeing each other, the smile on Jason’s face never leaving. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on his: he knew he was the reason for your annoyance but he enjoyed seeing this feisty side of you. When he first saw you in school you were standoffish, closed off, maybe from moving to such an elite school full of people from a different life than you. He knew that feeling of assuming everyone saw him as a nobody, the only thing saving him was the Wayne name. 

He wished it could be as easy for you as it was for him. 

Maybe then it’d be easier to tell you about everything. 

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆

Today was one of the few times Jason and you were able to go out in daylight to enjoy yourselves together. It wasn’t often that he would meet with you in civilian clothing, but for some reason he wanted both of you to go out to the park. It was starting to get warmer and he figured a springtime walk wouldn’t hurt. He pushed his sunglasses up, watching as you stopped to look at everything in the ground. 

The flowers were starting to bloom and the trees started to grow buds that were slowly opening. It was a pretty sight indeed, not to mention the little family of ducks swimming in the lake right at the heart and center of the park. 

“It’s all so pretty don’t you think?”, you turned towards him as he stood there with his hands in his pockets smiling at you. He soaked in the sight of you looking at the flowers and kneeling to watch the small ducklings. 

It wasn’t often the two of you would go out like this together but moments like this were the exact reason he preferred going out than just being confined to the four corners of the roof. “Yeah it is. It’s a nice change for once.”

You looked up at him, your eyes sparkling with joy. “I didn’t realize you liked nature so much. I would’ve guessed you preferred staying perched on that roof.”

He chuckled, something he knew you admired about him. “I do like it, but some days it’s nice to just be in nature and not think about anything else. Disconnect from the city to connect with nature. That kind of thing.”

You stood up, brushing off your pants and walking towards him. “I mean we’re technically still in the city.”, you teased. 

“You get what I mean.”, he laughed as the both of you continued down the nature trail around the lake. He fell into step with you, both of you moving together with ease as you soaked in the rest of the sun and the gentle warmth it brought onto you. 

After a while, you both reached a nearby bench under a massive oak tree, its branches providing a small amount of shade as the both of you sat under it. You had stopped talking and looked down at the grass, Jason staring at you in concern. 

“Hey, you okay?”, he asked softly. 

“Yeah, it’s just… I’ve been thinking a lot.”, you murmured. 

“Thinking about what?”, his brows furrowed as he waited for your response, worried he might’ve done something wrong to make you upset. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel upset. 

“Just, you know a lot about me. You know what I look like, my birthday, the school I go to, the family and it feels like I don’t know anything like that about you.”, you looked up at him with vulnerable eyes. “I feel like it’s a bit unfair”, you let out an airy laugh.

“Y/n, you know I would tell you if I could.”, he answered. “It’s just… it’s complicated because..”, he trailed off as a couple walked by, waiting for them to be out of distance before continuing. “Because of my job.”

“I know, I know and I’m not expecting anything crazy it’s just..”, you trailed off again. “I mean… I wish I could know you.”, you whispered, your hands in your lap as you messed with the end of your sweater. “I wish I could know the real you.”

His heart skipped a beat in his chest, staring at you as he let your words sink in. The very thing he had been contemplating over the past few weeks were the very thing you just said you wanted. Was this the opening he needed to show himself to you?

He smiled weakly, looking at you with a warm gaze even though you couldn’t see it. “I know”, he murmured. It was all he could say. 

He leaned in, your eyes watching him with observant eyes as he grabbed your hand from your lap and stroking it gently. You soaked in his warmth and he could sense the desperation in your soul. The desire to know him, the desire to see his face, to know who he really was. He wanted that too. More than anything. 

He leaned closer towards you, reaching up to push your hair behind your ear as he caressed your cheek and leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a gentle yet emotionally charged kiss. You leaned into his, your hand squeezing his as he deepened the kiss. Your body soaked him in, wanting to feel his presence and him yours. 

After what felt like an eternity, Jason pulled away, touching his forehead with yours as he looked into your eyes. He felt it right then. The answer he’d been looking for the past few weeks. He knew what he wanted. 

He wanted you. 

Wanted to tell you who he was, wanted you to be a part of his life for however long you’d let him be there. He wanted to tell you his real name, wanted to introduce you to Bruce and Dick, wanted to show you how he trained for his missions and tell you how he was the guy from school.

He needed this. 

He needed you. 

The tension in the Batcave was palpable, the argument between Jason and Bruce growing more intense as Jason continued to push for his ask. The both of them stood facing each other, the dim lighting casting shadows over their faces as they stood face to face, both in their respective suits. The argument had been going for what felt like forever, both of them holding firm in their stance. 

“Jason. No.”, Bruce said, his voice filled with a deep seriousness and an overwhelming sense of authority, but it didn’t stop Jason like it normally would have. “You can’t tell her. It’s too dangerous.”

“Bruce, I trust her.”, Jason’s frustration was evident as he continued to push for this. “I don’t want to keep hiding who I am from her, what kind of relationship is that? What kind of person would that make me to keep seeing her and just lie to her about who I am?”

“It puts everyone at risk!”, Bruce stood tall, and even though Jason was a good foot shorter, he pushed his shoulders up, his posture matching Bruce’s as he held his gaze. 

“I won’t keep lying to her.”

Bruce’s face hardened, the weight of his responsibility as both a father and a protector clear in his eyes. “If you tell her who you are, she has to know about Dick and me. That’s putting her at risk—and us. You have to understand the implications.”

“How is this any different than you and Selina? How long did it take before Selina found out who you were?”, Jason used his trump card, his desperation seeping through. 

“That’s different, Jason.”

“How?! You two are basically always flirting and going out and you both know each other’s identities.” Jason felt himself growing frustrated with Bruce. “She knows who you are, you’re always going out with her and you both have been open about your double lives. Why can’t I have the same thing?”

Bruce sighed, seeing the resolve in Jason’s eyes. He knew well how rare it was for Jason to trust someone, it had taken him almost two years to trust Bruce, so him asking to share who he was with his mystery girl wasn’t something to take lightly. The depth of feeling Jason held towards you was clear and Bruce could see it from miles away. If it wasn’t for that fact, Bruce would have strictly shut down Jason’s request. 

“Bruce, please. I’m asking you to trust me on this. She’s the only person I want to share this with. I know she won’t say anything. Please, I can’t keep lying to her,” Jason’s voice wavered slightly, his emotions laid bare.

Bruce looked at him for a long moment, weighing the risks but even in his contemplation he could see Jason’s trust in you. After a moment of tense silence, Bruce spoke in the same firmness but with a hint of resignation. 

“Do you trust her?”

“Yes, I do.”, Jason spit the words out faster than he would’ve liked but he didn’t care. He wanted this more than anything. 

“Alright,” Bruce said, finally giving in. “You can tell her, but under one condition. If anything happens—if she’s put in danger or if you let this affect your duties—you’ll be benched from patrol and training for an entire year. That’s non-negotiable.”

“Fine, yes, deal. Thank you so much.”

Without thinking, and for the first time since he’d been taken in, Jason moved towards Bruce and hugged him. It was simple yet surprising for Bruce. With slowed hands, Bruce returned the hug briefly before Jason pulled back, a slight smile tugging on his lips as he grabbed his robin mask from where it was set on the Batcomputer. 

Jason quietly nodded towards Bruce, turning towards the exit of the cave and heading towards the elevator that led up to the manor. Jason couldn’t help but feel on top of the world, his heart pumping in his chest on how he would tell you. He wanted to do it within the next week, wanted to get it out of the way as soon as possible. 

He wanted you to know him as him. 

Just him. Just as Jason. 

That would be more than enough. 

~

~

~

A little less than a week went by, Jason’s entire world came crashing in. He received a note from a woman claiming to be his mother. Bruce had been there to analyze the note and check its validity, proving itself to be an authorized note. Jason felt himself desperate for answers, why his mother abandoned him, why he was forced to live on the streets for so long. 

“Bruce, I have to go”

“No. It could be a trap.”

“Bruce, if she’s claiming to be my mother, I want to know.” Jason pleaded. He needed answers, he needed that closure from the trauma the streets had caused him. 

Bruce stayed firm in his resolve. “Jason, you aren’t thinking clearly. This could be a trap, there is no reason to believe this could be your actual mother.”

Jason’s eyes grew darker, his face illuminated by the harsh light of the Batcomputer, showcasing the mix of anger and desperation. “Do you know what it’s like, Bruce?”, his voice wavered slightly. “To live with that void of never knowing why your mother left you? Not knowing why you were abandoned? I know you lost your parents because of someone else’s selfishness but wouldn’t you do anything to see them again and not be left alone in this city? Please… Please let me meet her. I need this.”

Bruce’s gaze hardened, his thoughts contemplating. He knew the feeling of the void all too well, it was something he wished could’ve been different for his younger self, and even though Jason had a point in wanting to connect with his mother as the abandoned son, Bruce couldn’t let him go. His protective instinct and intuition couldn’t let him. “If you go without proper planning you could end up in danger. This isn’t just about reconnecting, it’s your safety on the line too. You need to be smart about this.”

Jason’s anger flared. “So what? I should just sit here and do nothing while you make the decision for me? I’m tired of being left in the dark! I need to do this.”

After another long moment of back and forth, Bruce made his final decision, turning to head back to the manor as he left an emotionally overwhelmed and defeated Jason alone in the cave. The glow of the computer screens illuminated his face as he clenched his fists. The cave, usually Jason’s comfort place, felt like a prison. Bruce’s words echoing through the space as he stood still in place. 

His mind raced with the details of the note, replaying every word and the hope it had sparked. The unresolved trauma of his past felt like a heavy weight pressing down on him, and he could almost hear the echoes of his younger self, yearning for answers that had been so cruelly withheld. 

He let out a sigh of defeat, letting his shoulders slump as he went to get out of his uniform, taking off his utility belt as he let himself contemplate his options of where to go from here. He wanted to go but the more logical side of him knew Bruce had a point, yet something inside of him made him think if he could go at it alone. Would it help keep his sanity if he could just meet his estranged mother? 

The thought contemplated in his mind as he continued to undress and change into his night attire. His mind still all over the place but a subtle hint of rebellion lingering inside of him. 

If Bruce wouldn’t let him, he knew he would have to do this on his own. At Least for the sake of his sanity. 

Jason felt his heart pumping in his chest at a record speed, he felt on top of the world at the news he’d tell you. He arrived at the roof of the usual spot the two of you would always meet, calming himself down before walking over to where he could see you looking down at the street.

“(Y/n), I have to tell you something.”, he called out, wrapping his arms around you. He noticed how you had to crane your head up to look at him, the height difference made his heart flutter. He noticed the necklace around your neck, the necklace he got for your 15th birthday that brought out how beautiful your eyes were. He didn’t just choose the emerald stone for you, he picked it out to match his own hues. To secretly know he was with you always. 

“W-what is it?”, he heard the slight worry in your voice, but he smiled at you to help ease your nerves. His heart pounding in his chest, taking your hands before he spoke. 

“I know that we.. we’ve been..seeing each other, and I know you feel the same things that I do.”, the rush of adrenaline causing his heart to beat faster, you’d be the first to know outside the family who he really was. 

The real Jason. 

You’d get to meet him, his family, see into his life as Jason and not as Robin. 

“I want to tell you who I am, beneath the mask, beneath the Robin suit. I want to take it further. I just need to do something else first.” , he felt relief wash over him as the words left his mouth, a burden he hadn’t realized he was carrying was now lifted. He saw you stiffen, your eyes filled with concern and uncertainty. 

“I’ll be gone for a few days, so don’t think I’m abandoning you, okay? But I promise, when I come back, we’ll get a real date. You’ll know me as… me. I promise, okay? Wait for me, okay?”, the words left his lips all too fast, praying that you would wait for him, praying that you would have him and let him have you too. He saw you nod your head and hug him, his arms wrapping tightly around you, the words so close from leaving his lips at that moment. 

He grabbed your face and kissed you and you kissed back. The kiss was tender yet filled with every emotion he had bottled up. Your lips moved against his, feeling the surge of euphoria flow through his body. His heart exploded and he was like the happiest guy alive right then. He would come back, he would tell you his name, he would be yours and everything would be perfect.

He swore on his life he would come back and find you. 

He would tell you the words that were desperate to leave his lips.

He tasted the promise of a future together, and the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you.

You were the only thing he wanted. 

The stinging coursed through his body, the pain all-consuming. Jason felt every hit, every cracking sound of his bones, all the pain seemed to flood his body almost like every blow was carving itself into his very essence. It left him raw and exposed. He couldn’t find a way out, even with his blurred vision, he couldn’t even see where he was. His bones ached, his ribs burning him from the inside out because of the pain. 

“Which hurts more? A or B? Backhand or forehand?”, the maniacal clown asked out loud, the crowbar making contact with his already broken bones. Jason could feel each of his bones screaming in pain. He silently prayed that Bruce would be here. Silently prayed that he would come save him. 

How had he ended up here? Why hadn’t he heeded Bruce’s warnings? The questions tormented him, swirling in his mind like a storm. Did Bruce even know he was missing? Was there any chance of rescue?

The laughter echoed through the empty warehouse, the nightmarish sound echoed within the walls leaving Jason feeling haunted by the maniac that was beating him. The only thing that could be heard for miles was the Joker’s hysterical laughs. Laughs that seemed to burn themselves into Jason’s memory. Jason tried to muster the strength to speak, his voice coming out as a ragged, barely audible whisper. Joker yanked Jason’s head up by his hair, forcing him to meet his gaze.

“Ah, ah? Speak a little louder lamb chop, I think you might have a collapsed lung”, Jason spit the blood from his mouth into the Joker’s face. Joker’s response was swift and brutal—he slammed Jason down onto the concrete with a sickening thud.

The pain was eating him alive, how could he be so naive? Why didn’t he just listen to Bruce? Where was he? Did Bruce know he was missing? 

When the hits stopped, he heard the door close, the heavy silence fell over the warehouse signaling Joker’s departure. The stiffness settled into his body and he lifted himself from the ground, trying to walk before he collapsed again. His thoughts were focused on getting out, the intensity of the situation starting to settle in. 

His thoughts became a frantic whirl of fear and desperation. He dragged himself toward the door, his hands shaking as he fumbled with the handle. It was stuck, locked from the outside. Panic surged through him, making the pain in his ribs feel even more excruciating. The sense of hopelessness grew with every second that passed.

At that moment, he could only think of you. The nights you had spent together, the countless hours on the roof, the laughter, the warmth of your smile, spending your birthday together—every moment flashed back to him with vivid clarity it was almost unbearable. It all crashed back to him. He never thought that night three days ago would be the last time he’d hold you, the last time he’d feel your lips on his. Your presence forever burned into his memory, a bittersweet reminder of what he was losing.

A ticking noise grew louder, an insistent and chilling sound that filled the warehouse with an air of impending doom. Jason forced himself to look at the countdown timer mounted on the crates along the wall—ten seconds left before the explosives would obliterate the entire structure.

10…

The reality of his situation settled in, a cold, hard fact that there was no escaping the end that was so close.

9…

He knew that it was done.  

The weight of unfulfilled dreams and missed opportunities pressed heavily on him. The simple joys of life with you—late nights, shared moments, future plans—were slipping away, forever lost.

8…

He felt his world crashing in, the reality of never having been able to take you on a real date. 

The awareness of never truly discovering who he was, of never having the chance to share his world with you, was a bitter pill to swallow. The chance to explore new horizons was vanishing.

7…

The reality of never knowing who he was. Never getting to meet his family, never welcoming you into his world, never experiencing new places together or even getting to see each other again. 

The thought of never hearing his real name spoken with affection by you again was a sharp, painful reminder of what he was losing. The intimacy and connection he longed for were slipping through his fingers.

6…

The sorrow of never being able to call you his, of never again feeling the comfort and warmth of your presence, was a deep, hollow ache.

5…

Never getting to feel you near him again. 

4…

Never getting the chance to tell you how much he loved you. 

3…

He closed his eyes and rested his head back, accepting the inevitable. He silently sent a prayer to whatever being out there that existed that you knew how much he loved you, even when he never said it out loud. That you would be okay without him, that you wouldn’t lose hope. 

The weight of his regrets and the finality of his fate pressed down on him, making the seconds feel like an eternity.

He braced himself, his mind filled with memories of you, a final testament to the love and life he wished he could have shared with you.

The explosion was instantaneous. The warehouse was consumed in a blinding flash, a forceful wave that ripped through the structure with deafening intensity. The world shattered into chaos, the ticking stopped, and everything that had been a part of his final moments was obliterated.

In the midst of the destruction, there was a final, eerie silence—a silence that spoke of the end of pain and the conclusion of the torment. It was a silence where his love for you lingered, a final, unspoken testament to what had been and what might have been.

A/N:

I had been wanting to do an entire chapter from Jason's POV for a minute and had the flashback chapter in my mind for a while. I really hope you guys enjoyed this! Also just letting you know that new upload days will be Sundays! This just works easier for my schedule since I draft everything throughout the week and spend weekends editing so Sundays work best for me!

Again, thank you guys for all the love and support on this series, I think we only have 5 or 6 chapters left before the end?! It went by SO fast!

And also thank you for the love and support on my Sukuna x Reader story: Love of My Life! It's been doing so well and it makes me so happy that it's been received well.

Thank you guys again and see you next week! xx.

[sardonic-the-writer]

—a text away

SUMMARY | in which you have a habit of blowing up wilburs phone

PAIRING | wilbur soot x reader

REQUESTED | no

WARNINGS | none

WORD COUNT | 1.2k+

AUTHORS NOTES | long distance fic. tagging @lyssys @zooone @beep-beep1

🍂 Masterlist 🍂 Navigation 🍂 Rules 🍂

Technology is everywhere these days.

It's the one thing that's almost impossible not to notice anymore. From the stoplights that direct traffic, to the earbuds nestled tight in pedestrians ears as they go about listening to music. Even our microwaves have been a product of humanities thirst for creation. Or maybe it was the thirst for power that spawned that one. You can never decipher the difference between the two these days.

But, you think your favorite bit of technology might be the ability to text your partner. Even when you're sat hundereds of miles away, watching as he livestreams.

"Alright chat—no. No that was not funny. I don't know why I even turned on media share."

Wilbur sat in his studio, cheek smushed up against his foam covered mic as he glanced at the speedy chat screen, looking for a coherent group to words to string together.

"I thought today was a chill day yeah?" He pretended to chastise the people on the other end of the screen, smiling as he went for a sip of water. A bit spilled from his mouth as he attempted to speak again, laughing it off before swallowing this time.

"No making fun of that. An—hold on! Yes it was a laugh, but we're not doing you laugh you lose. I already explained this. It's just a talking day. Don't—don't boo me you hooligans. I could end stream, do you want me to end stream?"

Sometimes being a twitch streamer, eyes constantly looking and expecting you to do something, or slip up, was enough to wear down everyone. Wilbur has had his fair share of bad days, a few of them ending in the thought of him ending streaming completely. But then there were moments like this that countered it, where the heckling didn't really feel like heckling and he could just be comfortable.

"Mods, I gonna need you to ban the next person who says babybur. I am not being a baby. This is—hey! This is not a tantrum! Ban them too!"

It was the times like these, where his face felt sore from smiling for so long, that he really appreciated being able to do what he did for a living. And the best part of it? He had met you along the way.

"No, (Y/n)'s not with me here today." Wilbur was quick to change the topic from everyone spamming babybur to his partner currently overseas. Chat always loved to pester him about you. Not like he cared. After finding out you were okay with him talking about you on stream, he found every excuse in the book to include you into each and every conversation he had, proudly boasting about how much he loves you.

"You guys want to see them again? Yeah, me too. Maybe if their okay with it next time their here, I'll bring em back on for a bit, yeah?" Wilbur already knew the answer before he had even asked it, watching as his chats speed broke the frame rate on his monitor after mentioning it.

A few more minutes of talking passed before he felt the days hours catching up to him. Normally he knew when he was getting tired enough to sign off, but this time it had taken his legs cramping up for him to take the hint.

"Chat I've got to go. And don't say five more minutes becuase the last time that happened you tricked me into staying for an hour more and I was late to a wedding." Wilbur began his wave at the screen, smiling warmly at his camera before clicking the end stream button.

Pushing his chair out, he was quick to stand up and stretch his legs. The office he worked in was great. Most of the time. It would be perfect if not for the fact he was just a little above the height average that the room seemed accustomed to holding.

"Bloody fuck." He sighed.

His phone was quick to be picked up. Wilbur liked to keep it a couple arms lengths away as he streamed. He had most of what he needed at his computer, and his insesent need for doom scrolling was sure to get in the way if he didn't limit himself while live.

However this did seem to get in the way of your equally peristant need for blowing up Wilburs phone like it was the last thing you would ever do.

The line only rung once on your end before you picked it up.

"Really darling?" That was the first thing you heard, your boyfriends warm chuckle following it shortly after. "Fourty eight messages? That's a new record for you."

"I missed you Wil. Plus I was watching this time from my computer. Chat was funny today." Your smile was audible to him, only resulting in him shaking his head with a laugh.

"You think so? All they talked about this entire time was a really sweet and adorable sounding person. Said they wanted to see them again soon. Couldn't recall their name though. Did you happen to catch it?" He teased you, sinking into his desk chair while wiping the edge of his fake glasses on his shirt.

"Did it happen to be (Y/n)." You answered with false curiosity.

"That's it!" Wilbur snapped his fingers even though you couldn't see him. "And honestly I think they're onto something. They sound amazing and I'd really like to see them. Preferably soon?"

You rolled your eyes. He always did this when you were on call. Well, he always did this anyways, not just on calls. You didn't like being away from him anymore than he did. But Wilbur had always been the more antsy one out of the two of you.

"Just a week more Wil and I'll be back at your flat in no time."

"Promise?"

"When have I ever lied to you love?"

"Well—" Wilbur cleared his throat. "—there was that time on Halloween when you said you were going to dress up with me, and when you lied about getting McDonald's without me, and don't even get me started on all the lies you said just to get that suprose party for me organized last year."

"Wow. You must be really proud of yourself for remembering all that Wil."

"I am, actually."

"Do you want a gold star."

"I know you're making fun of my but yes. Yes I would."

He listened as you laughed from the other end of the phone. He couldn't help falling in love with you. It was too perfect, the two of you. Like something out of his own songs. Wilbur wasn't one for the whole soulmates shtick, but he'd be damned if he said you were anything but that. His soulmate.

"I love you so much (Y/n)." He whispered. "And I hate I can't hold you right now. I hate that I can't kiss you and feel you in my arms."

Your laughing had ceased with a soft sigh. You knew what he meant and more. Too many a night you had laid awake, unable to sleep without the feeling of his hands around your waits and hoodie around your torso.

"I know Wil. Just seven more days and I'm all yours."

"Don't forget my gold star." It was quiet, but you still found yourself gently smiling.

"Seven more days, then me and that gold star are all yours."

[oopwoop]

Comforting Them After a Long Day

pairing(s): e!1610! & e!42! Miles, Hobie, Pavitr

warning(s): Swearing, hurt/comfort (?), unedited

e!1610! Miles Morales!

- Today had been a particularly hard day for Miles. He had barely gotten any sleep the night prior due to fighting all night. Once he got home that night- more so in the morning- he immediately fell asleep after changing. It gave him no time to relax, message or call you, he didn’t even get to eat anything that night, too tired to care.

- After what was only a few hours of sleep, Miles was awoken by his police scanner. “Why can’t I just sleep..?”. While fighting, Miles had gotten thrown, bruising his ribs and causing him to twist his wrist, along with many more smaller/minor cuts and bruises. By the time he was done patrolling for the day it was already 10PM, meaning another night of not being able to talk to you without the worry of crashing into a building.

- When Miles got to his room and climbed through the window he didn’t notice you sitting on his bed. Unusual for him, considering his spidey sense. It really must’ve been a long day for him, huh?

- “Miles.” Was the only thing you said. He turned, eyes wide with what seemed to be the biggest eye bags you’ve seen on him. “C’mon, come here.” You patted his bed, motioning for him to sit next to you. Slowly he walked over to you, settling onto the bed next to you. Next thing you knew he had you in a tight embrace, resting his head on your shoulder.

- “I take it you had a bad day?” You whisper, rubbing shapes into his back. All he did was hum, sighing into your shoulder.

- Pulling away from the hug, you grabbed his face in your hands, thumbs caressing his cheeks. Miles leaned into one of your hands contentedly, eyes shutting. “You may wanna change into to some comfortable clothes, yeah? I can clean up any cuts, get an ice pack for any bruising and after we can watch a movie on your laptop before sleeping. How’s that sound?”

- “That sounds absolutely perfect. Anything with you does… Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Miles praised. He was so glad you were here, that he could relax, even though he felt like passing out from exhaustion. He’d go through so much more for you, what’s staying up a little longer gonna do?

- “I’ll go get the stuff, and don’t worry, your parents are already asleep so you don’t have to worry about them seeing anything. I love you, too” You pulled him into a loving kiss before getting up to grab any needed supplies.

e!42! Miles Morales!

- He had been ignoring you recently and you don’t know why. Whenever he did talk to you it was short and he seemed irritated. Was it something you did? No, it couldn’t have been. He always communicated when something was wrong between you two. Instead of dwelling on it you took it upon yourself to talk to him. It was around 6 PM on a Friday when you went to his house. Knocking the door you heard a muffled ‘one second!’, you assumed it was his mom.

- Not even a minute later the door opened to Miles’ mom standing there. “Oh, cariño (sweetheart), it’s so nice to see you! Miles never told me you were coming over, come in, come in! I was just finishing up with dinner, go get him for me, will you?” She rambled, pulling you into a tight hug.

- You hugged back just as tightly, smiling at her. She was always so kind to you, how could she not be? You made her little boy happy. “Hi, Ms. Morales, it’s nice to see you too! Miles didn’t know I was coming over, I really need to talk to him. I apologize for coming over uninvited.”

- “No worries! I’m assuming he did something, sí? Do I need to knock some sense into him?” She pulled away from the hug, huffing at the thought of her son doing something to upset you.

- “No, no, it’s okay. Thank you, though! I’ll go talk to him and let him know dinner is almost ready.” You walked through the door, taking your shoes off and walking to Miles’ room, hearing his mom say ‘thank you! let me know if I have to smack some sense into him’ down the hallway. Getting to the door, you knocked before walking in after hearing his muffled ‘what?’ through the door.

- Miles looked up from his phone at you, sitting on the bed. He sighed, rolling his eyes. “What do you want?”. Your eyes widen at his words and the fact he rolled his eyes at you. He has never once done that to you.

- “What’s up with you, Miles? Did I do something..? You didn’t even call me ma or anything.” You asked sadly, sitting on the bed nearest his feet, setting a hand on his knee. Miles just shook his head, mumbling a ‘no’ as he looked back at his phone. Since you didn’t do anything, he must’ve had a bad day you thought. It wasn’t wrong, nothing seemed to be going right for him today.

- “Scoot, give me some room. I want to cuddle and I know you’re in need of some.” You moved up to the head of his bed, laying down with him as he complied silently, his head now resting on your chest. “Now, instead of ignoring me, tell me what’s going on under that pretty head of yours, yeah? Tell me what happened. If you don’t want to we can just sit here in silence or watch something. I’m here for you. I love you.”

- “Thanks, ma. Love you too.” He sighed, finally opening up to you about what was going on with him.

Pavitr Prabhakar! (I love him sm(.◜ω◝.)♡)

- Pavitr was used to Spider-Man being an easy job. Sure, there were days where it was a little more stressful, but never this bad. Today he had gotten hurt, a gash in his side, and he was unable capture on of the villains he fought because of it. After that, he had known to call it quits for the day and immediately to your house.

- When he got there, he knocked on the window, hoping that you’re in there. Not even a second later, the window was being opened and he was being helped in. You noticed him holding his side, some blood seeping through his suit. Luckily it wasn’t an alarming amount so you didn’t have to worry about him bleeding out. You escorted him to your bed, sitting him down before getting your first aid kit.

- “Pav, what happened? How did you get this?” You motioned to the gash, kneeling down and getting out the needed supplies from the first aid kit. You asked if he was able to take the top of the suit off without hurting himself, if not you’d have to cut it. With your help, you got the top of the suit undone and now it was pooled around his waist.

- “It’s nothing serious, jaanu (darling, sweetheart, beloved). Just a small cut, I’ll be okay!” He smiled brightly. You’d almost believe him if he wasn’t hissing softly in pain when you treated the wound. No matter the situation he always tried his hardest to act like he was okay and comfort you. While you appreciate it, you wished he’d open up a little more and let you comfort him.

- “Pav, baby, you know you can tell me, right? Anything at all. I know for a fact you aren’t always okay, you’re allowed to be upset, okay? Talk to me, tell me what happened.” You insisted, finishing up dressing his wound. Once you were done you sat on the bed next to him, pulling closer to rest his head on your shoulder.

- He pulled you into a full on hug now, pushing you down onto the bed so he was now laying on you. You moved a hand up to run through his hair, it was unfair how pretty his hair was without having to do much for it.

- “The last villain I fought today was hard to fight. He was fast, which is how he got my side. It stunned me for longer than normal and he got away.. I feel like I failed today.” Pavitr mumbled into the crevice between your neck and shoulder, giving it a soft kiss.

- “I’m sorry to hear that, baby. But just because you didn’t catch one villain doesn’t mean you failed, you still saved many people today, captured other bad guys, yeah? That’s a win in my book. Better yet, you’re still alive and breathing, so that’s the best thing. You didn’t fail, Pav, I promise you. I’m so proud of you, I love you lots.” You rubbed a hand down his bare back, nails softly scratching it.

- “I love you too, meri jaan (my life). I love you so much..” Was the last thing you heard from him before his breathing relaxed. You probably should wake him up so he could change, but he deserves and needs to sleep, so you let him be, still laying on top of you.

Hobie Brown

- You knew today that there was gonna be a huge protest against the British government. Originally you were gonna go with Hobie, but ended up getting called into work. Your boyfriend stated it was ‘a plan from the government so you couldn’t go and is a trick’. You wish he was right, but your job insisted they needed someone, at least for a few hours.

- When you got back home it was around 7 PM. Normally, the protest would still be going on, it would be all night long, but you didn’t know something went wrong. So when you got home and saw Hobie sitting on the couch with his head in his hands in the living room you were shocked.

- “Hey, why you home so early, B? Did something happen? Are you okay?” Questions fell from your mouth one by one, walking over to Hobie and grabbed his face softly into you hand, checking for any injuries. There was nothing fatal, just a bruise on his cheek and a cut lip. He looked at you, eyes full of anger and sadness. Whatever happened at the protest must’ve been really bad.

- “Yeah, ‘m fine. Don’ worry.. the fuckin pigs showed up. It was a peaceful pro’est, so I haven’t gotten a Scooby Doo on why they showed. Threw tear gas an’ arrested people. Turned into a ‘uge fight an’ shit.” He sighed, resting his forehead on your chest.

- You sighed as well, pissed at what had happened at the protest. How dare people stand up for what’s right and call out the government for their wrongs, yeah? You figured it’d be best not to worry on it too much right now and comfort Hobie.

- “I’m sorry, B.. I wish I could promise it’ll all get better but I know I can’t. What I do know is that none of this is your fault, okay? Unfortunately, it’s bound to happen. Cops are pigs, the government is even worse. That’s not on you, you did your best and I know it, even if you don’t believe it. I love you, Hobie, you did so well today.”

- “Mmm.. I s’pose so.. I luv you to. Let’s go make up some grub, aye? ‘M famished.” He said, moving back to look you in the eyes, hands coming to rest on your hips.

- “I am quite hungry, could definitely go from some dinner.” You agreed, your stomach making that well aware. You grabbed his hands and moved back, pulling him up and towards the kitchen.

a/n: I genuinely could not think of what to write for Gwen so unfortunately I didn’t write for her. If anyone can come up with an idea let me know and I’ll edit this and add her (o´∀`人)

[aphroditesmoon]

cool about it

gwen stacy x afab!reader

summary: she's always been able to catch you when you fall, and this time she's not letting go.

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff ending, allusions to abuse, anxiety, dissociation, coping fic.

°°°

Gwen can't tell if she was being paranoid. She rethinks everything she's done for the past week, trying to figure out which moment exactly she could've hurt you.

You still hold her at night, still cook her eggs in the morning and kiss her goodbye before you leave for your work, still leaves pasta for her to reheat when she comes home. And yet your touch feels more empty, a habit more than a show of affection. The way you turn your head away from her when you think she's fallen asleep and cover your whole body under the suffocating blanket hurts her more than she should.

You don't meet her eyes when she's talking, rarely interrupting her daily rants about her day, the interrupting was her favourite parts of talking with you. Sometimes she cant even tellbif youre listening, she watches you, staring down at your fiddling fingers, but even at that, you didn't seem to be focusing on, your eyes was distant, away from anything present.

So she goes quiet, and her eyes remain trying to read you, trying to if it'll speak in some way, a hint of what's dragging you away from her.

Today wasn't an eventful day for the ghost-spider. Miguel had her off early, not without belittling her for something stupid again. She comes home to a quiet apartment, you had been to bed early it seems.

Opening the door to yours and her room, she finds you in a position she'd already expect, under the covers, not even your head visible.

She takes her suit off quietly before changing into one of your sweatshirts, small spider engraved on the shoulder. Despite climbing up slowly, you still flinch when the bed shifts. You pull the blanket off under your chin immediately, groggily saying her name.

Gwen mumbles an apology before gently pulling you into her arms, she feels like she's dragging a dead body towards herself, the way you succumb into her touch. Like you would've let her do anything to you at the moment.

You found your head placed on her chest, her heartbeat so clear to you, thump, thump, thump. "I missed you." You whispered, she heard you still.

"You saw me this morning babe." You could hear the small smile in her voice. "Missed you anyways." Gwen releases a slow, relieved breath, holding onto that small assurance you've handed out to her, a lifeboat floating miles away while she's drowning, but it's there, and she still have enough fight in her to keep swimming.

The comfortable silence was calming, but her eyes were still wide and awake as she looks down at yoi, combing her fingers through your hair. Your face was buried to her chest, she couldn't see your face, but she heard you when you spoke; "I saw my brother last week."

Gwen feels her heart pulls at your words, an uncomfortable foreign topic you always avoided throughout your relationship with her, was your brother. You had told her of course, of your past, and all the demons from them that still haunts you till now, but you never brought him up again after.

"Where?" She finally finds courage in herself to respond. "The shop. He was, looking...for a- a new blazer." You recall, stumbling on certain words.

"Did you talk to him?" She asks. She feels you shake your head. "I hid in the back, Hayat assisted him until he left." You explained. Relief swarms Gwen's heart again. "Fucking pri-" "It's fine. I'm fine." You assure her immediately.

"No, you're not." She snaps, immediately regretting her tone after. She pulls away from you slightly, making you tilt your head up at her. You let out a forced laugh at that. "No, I'm not."

It was only them, she noticed how sunken your eyes were, and how wet your cheeks and her shirt was. "I know, I should be over it at this point, over all of it, but I-" your voice cracks, and your sentence dies at your throat as the tears burst out, a choked sob. Gwen pulls you back into her, squeezing you tight, her own eyes watering.

She hated how you're trembling and crying, because of him. He didn't deserve to be cried over. And you didn't deserve any of this. Your hands fists the sides of her fuzzy sweatshirt, your whole body shaking.

And Gwen lets you, as she kisses the top of your head repeatedly, gently swaying you like a crying infant. Her grip on you doesn't lessen. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't know." She whispers to you. And over and over, she repeats that she loves you, and that she's got you.

[jaidens]

The sand from your hair is blowin' in my eyes Blame it on the beach, grown men don't cry

pairing [s] : bradley bradshaw x reader

warning [s] : mentions of : crying, anxiety, death, drinking | angst with comfort!

a/n [s] : requests are open!

Bradley sits on the beach, but he feels a million miles away from everything.

You sit next to him as you tell him about work recently and how your coworker did something. Admittedly, he wasn't listening like he usually did, but he stares at the breaking waves and the wind that slips through his cloth Old Navy t-shirt and the shorts he brought to swim in.

Bradley grew up without a father figure after he was five years old. He only had the distinct memories of Goose, his Uncle Maverick, and his mother. He craved the feeling of being able to hug his dad one last time, not just staring at the picture of his Little League team and his father's dumb mustache and Ray-Ban Caravans that sit on his nose.

Bradley sits next to him with a dumb, blond bowl cut and a huge smile as he sits with Goose in his arms. He craves that feeling of being a kid, without worry. He's beside himself as the tears blur the sunset and ocean out of his view, striking like a broken mirror.

“Bradley..” A quiet voice is let through to his ears, as he covers his face with his hands and curls in on himself. “Hey, hey what's wrong?” He can't pull himself to look at you, the person he truly loves as you let your hand touch his arm softly.

Bradley found love, and was able to tell his mother as she laid sick that he was happy. After his father's death, he couldn't live for himself to love. Until Carole had slapped some sense into her son, telling him to find love and that everything will start to make sense. He heard all the stories growing up about Goose's romantic gestures of singing Great Balls of Fire; dedicated to his lovely wife.

When he found you, sitting at the bar sipping on a Sprite and eating one of Penny's famous dinner foods, he knew he was in love. He was freshly out of the Flight Academy, young and dumb when he met you. His mustache barely growing in and still wearing his college baseball shirts.

“Brad, don't ignore me. I know you can hear me.”

One thing about Bradley was his ignoring of problems. His therapist had tried to work him out of the habit, after the dangers of almost getting hurt in the plane after he disregarded Maverick’s commands. It also stood for emotionally ignoring. A year ago, Bradley would have never talked and would've let it out with anger and crying if he was confronted with a problem he wasn't sure how to solve.

“I—I–...” Bradley begins before that frog in his throat appears, biting on his tongue. The tears well up in his eyes, as he takes his hand and wipes them away. The feeling bubbles up inside of him like a Coke shaken with Mentos inside.

“It’s okay, I'm here.” You remind him softly, making sure to hold his hand to help him further in knowing you weren't leaving him alone.

“Hangman— today he mentioned Goose. Told everyone. Maverick didn't even do anything either, I almost fought him too. Then, I remembered Dad. He would've despised me if I used violence.”

“And– and, Maverick keeps bugging me about just fixing my relationship with him. I have no reason too! He pulled my papers!” Bradley stops when he starts practically sobbing, tears running down his face and hands shaking. The anger mixes into his sadness and fear of everything.

He feels embarrassed acting like this in front of you— a grown man crying in someone's arms about another grown man. Bradley feels the weight of his body falling off of him as you rub his back with your hand, and keep on hand raking in the curls of the back of his head.

“Bradley, whatever Hangman said, was unacceptable. Hopefully he apologizes because you do not deserve that at all.” You said. “Maverick loves you Bradley, he basically raised you. What he did as well was horrible, but from what I know about Mav, it was probably meant to happen.”

Bradley takes your words to heart, holding onto your hand now with an actual grip. His lip quivers while he feels your thumb trace over his knuckles. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffles quietly. You smell like salt water and coconut as he lays in the curve of your neck and shoulder. “Thanks.” Bradley says a few minutes later.

Bradley stares at you, the soft smile you have and his big Ford Bronco t-shirt you have on. You look ethereal in the golden and pink hues that collect in the San Diego sky. He feels your connection that wraps your souls together. He's so in love with you, and he thanks whatever big guy is up there, that puts you and him together.

“Why?” You ask him back, looking down at him at where he lays.

“Because. You're always there for me. Always say the right things.” Bradley admits softly. Messing with the towel you have laid on the ground. “It’s why I love you so much.”

His words are anything but foreign to your ears. You smile at him and see him still finding his breath after the cry that he needed to get out of him. “I love you too. I will never stop loving you.”

He feels closer to everything, you as well as himself. Bradley hopes his mother can see him now, holding the person he loves in his arms.

[mrsevans90]

Puppy Love

Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 10

Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?

Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 

Warnings: smut (oral/m receiving), talks of period intercourse, detailed PTSD flashback, graphic death of character discussed, self-deprecating talk, language

MINORS DNI! Must be 18+

I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 

This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 

Author's Note: This is a heavy chapter--- Big time PTSD flashback so consider yourself warned! Also, I purposely chose to not use characters in the flashback from the movie Sand Castle. I just didn’t want to kill off anyone’s fave character, so we are going to pretend this flashback was another mission from another deployment right before Sy retired not related to the movie. It was just easier for my conscious to write it that way. 

Part 9

All night long I have nightmares about the war. I wake and try to reset myself like the therapist taught me with deep breathing, water, change of environment, etc.; but nothing is working. I maybe only get about 2 hours of sleep total and I’m exhausted. I still go on my run to try and exhaust myself even more so that maybe tonight I will pass out into a dreamless sleep. I try to fake enthusiasm for whatever Nana is rambling on about in her phone call to me on the way to work but I’m sure she can tell that I’m starting to spiral. Alex can tell that today is one of those days so he asks me if I’m good and when I grunt at him he keeps his distance. God, I’m an ass but I’m obviously not good and I just can’t talk to him about it. Nobody really understands except the boys that I was with when it happened and several of them are dead now. I’m supposed to be their leader and I feel like I should have my shit together. My nightmares continue to worsen throughout the week and I feel like I overcompensate by working harder or exerting myself in more difficult physical pursuits in hopes of tiring my body and my brain out. I forced myself to run four additional miles on Friday even though my leg quickly protested. I focused on pushing through the pain and ended up having to ice my leg after work.

Friday evening finally rolls around, and Emma shows up at the house as planned with a little overnight bag in tow and homemade banana pudding. I’m cooking us some chicken and veggies out back on the grill when she arrives and I feel like I calm a bit just being in her presence. She still looks absolutely adorable as she shows up wearing comfortable clothes-a tank top and soft shorts. I love that she’s feeling relaxed enough with me to just be her most authentic self. After we eat, I fill my belly up with her decadent dessert and I swear I see stars. She’s quite the chef; as if she needed any more of a direct line to my belly or my heart. Assuming she’s still on her period, I ask her if she’s feeling alright and she nods but doesn’t offer more. I suggest we get in bed and watch a movie and she gleefully agreed. We get all cozied up in bed and she chooses a rom-com to put on. Not my first choice, but I’ll do anything to make her smile like that. It’s nice having someone other than myself warm my bed. We fall asleep easily tangled in each other and I’m relieved that I have no nightmares. Maybe Emma is the cure to my nightmares? Or did I really succeed in tiring myself out enough that I slept too hard to dream. Either way, I’m not complaining.

Saturday morning. I wake up at my usual time and smile to myself at finally getting a decent night of sleep. I lay in bed watching my girl dream before I decide to get up and go for a run. If it’s the exercise that helped me sleep last night, I’m not going to miss the opportunity to do it again. I leave a little note on Emma’s nightstand and decide to only run two miles today so I don’t fuck up my leg more than I probably already have. When I get back home, Emma is still a mess of hair and sheets and I can tell that she never missed me. Her hair is halfway across her face, one of her breasts is almost spilling out of her twisted tank top, and the covers are tangled all in her legs which brings a smile to my face. For someone so effortlessly beautiful, she’s kind of a mess when she sleeps and I can’t help but find that to be one of the most endearing things ever. I attempt to take a quick shower and am surprised when ice cold hands wrap around my stomach as my eyes are closed under the spray of the water and I jump like a cat. 

“Damn woman! Your hands are ice cubes.” I say as she laughs uncontrollably.

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She says as she hugs me from behind. 

“I woke up and heard the shower running so I figured you wouldn’t mind if I joined you.” 

“Always, join me Sugar. My favorite showers are the ones with you.” I tell her as I turn around to see her. She’s got her beautiful hair tied up in a bun on top of her head and I shift her so that the water runs down her body to warm her up. I spy her adjust the temperature higher and I can’t help myself.

“What is it with women taking showers equivalent to the heat of lava?” She smiles.

“We are colder than you are. Gotta warm up somehow.” She presses a sweet kiss to my lips before turning around and washing her body. I can’t help but stand there like a creep watching her but I’ll never turn down an opportunity to see her wet and soapy.

“I hope you don’t mind that I hijacked your shower.” She smiled sweetly.

“Darlin’, I was done anyway. Now I’m just here for the show.” I arch my eyebrow at her as she spies my obvious erection.

“Let me help you.” She seductively suggests.

“I can help us both.” I offer but she shakes her head.

“Still on my period.” She replies without making eye contact.

“So?”

“We can’t have sex when I’m on my period!” She looks completely shocked.

“Says who? You know, sex actually helps relieves cramps.”  

“But..I might get blood on your…”

“Dick? What’s your point?”

“Isn’t that gross?” 

“Sugar, I told ya, I’m a man. A little blood isn’t going to scare me off. Now if you’re not interested because you don’t feel well or you just don’t want too, I have no problem with that. But, if you’re not interested because you think I’m going to be grossed out or something, I promise I won’t be. You can have me anytime you want, Sweetness. There’s no pressure either way. If you’re uncomfortable with it, I won’t mention it again.”

“Maybe give me some time to come around to the idea of it. I’ve never really considered it as an option.”

“Sure thing, babygirl.”

“You are something else, Bear. You mean it when you said I can have you anytime I want?”

“Mmhmm.” I say as her fingertips trail down my abdomen and she wraps her hand around my throbbing cock.

“Can I taste you?”

“Always, but don’t feel like you have too. I’ll be alright if not.”

“I want too.” She says before pushing me towards the shower bench and taking me in her mouth. In no time at all, I’m coming down her throat after receiving one of the best blowjobs of my life. She has my legs trembling from the stimulation and I can’t help but caress her cheek and kiss her gently when I come back to reality.

“my EmKay.” I whisper as I kiss her tenderly.

“Your EmKay?” She asks. 

“Mmhmm.” 

“Funny, I don’t remember being asked to be yours.” She haughtily replies.

“Ya’ ain’t going to make this easy on me, are ya?” Shit, what am I doing. I should have thought this through. She shouldn't want to be with me. The unreal blowjob has me not thinking clearly.

“Now why would I do that?” She retorts with a smile. I palm her cheek so that she’s looking right at me.

“Will you be my woman?” I ask seriously. Fuck it. Why not?

“Only if you’re my man.” 

“Well, I’ve been told that I’m a bear, but I’ll be your man too.” I joke before pressing my lips against Emma’s in a feverish kiss.

As the water gets cold, we finally climb out and get dressed for the day. I decide to take Emma out for breakfast at the diner in town before we go in search of furniture for her guest bedroom. Her parents are arriving next weekend and it was adorable when she shyly asked me if I’d be willing to meet them. I assured her that I’d be happy too and to just let me know when.

We spend a few hours at the furniture store where Emma purchases a matching bedroom set before going to a mattress store and trying out all of the mattresses to determine which would be a good purchase for her guest bedroom. They are able to deliver it same day which is nice so we pick a time for it to arrive that afternoon. We then head to a department store so she can pick out curtains, bed linens, and other odds and ends that I’m told a room requires like lamps and decorations. Being a single man for the majority of my adulthood that was mostly away in the military, I didn’t realize how much work women put into buying all of this shit. Why does she need the guest bath towels to match the hand towel in the bathroom? Or all of the little knick-knack items she bought to go on the dresser? I’m even more confused when she was discussing bed trains? No bed skirts. I’ve slept on friends couches without even a blanket but she’s really rolling out the red carpet for her parents. It’s a bit concerning if they are expecting all of this from their daughter who has lived here for under two months. Maybe they don’t expect it and she’s just trying to show them that she’s a capable adult who plans on settling here. I watch as she spends a small fortune trying to get everything in order for their visit. It’s obvious that she values their opinions. What if they don’t like me? I’m certainly different from the preppy type of guy that they’re used to seeing her with. I’m kind of rough around the edges and although I think I’m pretty smart, I certainly don’t hold advanced degrees. I’m broken from my thoughts when Emma asks my opinion about curtains. It’s sweet that she wants my opinion but I’m a fish out of water when it comes to decorating.

We load up all of the stuff and head back to Emma’s house where I get started hanging curtains as we wait on the furniture and mattress delivery. Emma orders us pizza and we munch on pizza and beer for a while. I’m regretting all of my additional workouts after I finally get the bed put together and the mattress put on it. Emma tried to help but she’s so little I didn’t want her to hurt herself so I ended up just man-handling it myself. She had washed the new bedding and put everything together before we took a look at it and she dove across the top of the bed. Emma patted the space beside her and I laid down next to her on top of the comforter. 

“I’m fucking exhausted and I didn’t even lift the heavy stuff.” She exhaled.

“I didn’t realize it was so much work to put together a bedroom. You sure know what you’re doing though.”

“Thank you. I just pick what I like. I couldn’t have done it all without you though, so thank you, baby. I can’t wait to have them visit and see that I’ve got my shit together here. That I’m not some dumb kid who needs rescuing. I’m able to handle myself.” Ahh, so I was right about that. It’s about proving herself to her parents.

“I think they’ll be impressed, Sugar. I know I am.” I smile at her before yawning.

She kisses my lips before scratching my beard gently. 

“Can we go back to yours, shower and then go to sleep? I’m dead on my feet.” She asks as she stands up and fluffs the new pillows. Why are there like 5 pillows that will just get thrown on the floor? Seems wasteful.

“You still want to come back to mine with me?”

She nods. “I want to be with you and the pups. Since they are at yours, it wouldn’t make sense to get them and come back here. I always sleep really good with you…Unless you’re too tired for a sleep over.” She says sheepishly and I wrap my arms around her.

“Nothing could be better than having my girl in my bed with me.” I tell her because I’m beginning to believe it’s the truth. “Let’s go.” 

We turn out all of the lights and lock up before heading back to mine. Emma’s car is still parked out front from where she left it and it makes me happy that she wants to be here with me. There’s a summer storm approaching and the wind has picked up which has Emma’s hair twirling in the breeze. I pull the patio cushions inside when I let the dogs out to do their business. After a quick shower because we are both too tired to do anything but clean ourselves, we do our nighttime routines before climbing into bed. Emma snuggles next to me with her head on my chest and I’m confident that it’s going to be a good night as we drift off to sleep.

It’s hot, but more than just hot. It’s sweltering. I can feel the sweat rolling down my chest and my back. It’s the type of unbearable heat that has your clothes sticking to your skin the instant you walk out of the mess hall. Then you add your gear, and the added weight from your gear plus your sweat soaked clothes is a certain feeling that I’ll never forget. I smell the smoke of an explosion further in the distance. We have our orders and it’s my job to lead our special forces team in to execute our orders exactly like planned. The problem with that is that most things never go as planned. It would be easy for this to be a cookie cutter mission where we get in and out and go back to base and fuck around for the rest of the afternoon. No, this will require me thinking on my feet at every turn. It’s what I’m trained for, hell, I’m the best which is why I’m the captain. I’ve got seven men with me whose lives rely on me assessing our situation and giving correct orders. They are sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, and friends who have people waiting on them at home. Each order I give is weighted by the knowledge that I’m responsible for them. We’re crouched in different positions behind the old dilapidated building that the informant said our guy would be in. The sun is glaring across our faces but we’re in the best position we could be in for this mission. We’ve been after this specific hostile for months and never been this close to him before. We can hear men inside the building, yelling in Arabic and moving around so we must remain completely silent. If we can hear them, they could hear us. We are ghosts that can’t be seen or heard but must work as a team for this to go smoothly. If one person spots us, it will turn into a close-range gun fight that I can’t imagine we will all win. I inhale deeply and even though there is dust on every inch of myself and the ground, I try to focus my thoughts. 

As I am about to give orders to direct my guys to move on to the next step of our plan, I hear the tell-tale whistle of a bullet zipping through the air. I swivel to the left with my gun and look for the insurgent. I can’t see anyone but the bullet buries itself in the left shoulder of Waites across the way from me. We were fucking set up. I swing my gun back around and that’s when it happens, I hear the bullet and feel it explode into my lower left thigh at the same time blood spews from my friend, Goodwin’s head who had crouched beside me when I stood to look for the shooter. My leg gives out and I instantly drop down into the dirt to where I’m level with Goodwin’s face and it’s obvious, he was killed instantly. His eyes are still opened and he has a massive wound to the head. Anthony. Fuck. His girlfriend is expecting a baby girl in a few months. My leg is burning from the inside out but my adrenaline spike helps me ignore the pain and I grab my gun and instantly start shooting towards the rooftop where I believe the sniper might be. I hear Brown screaming before I realize he’s got Waites against the building and is yelling into the radio for help. I watch as insurgents start coming out of the building we were casing and I start taking them out. Lowell goes down. Setas is either hurt or attempting to provide aid to Lowell. I can’t tell but I never stop shooting. Ramirez is also trying to find the source of the ambush with his own gun. Bullets are flying, many from my own gun as I empty the clip into the only building the sniper could have been on, Browns pleas for backup, along with Waites heavy gurgling breaths fill my ears. I feel a hand on my arm and flinch.

            “Austin! Captain…Captain Syverson. Look at me.” Two hands on either side of my face help me focus in. “St..Stand down. You are safe, the threat has been eliminated. Your superiors have given orders to return to base for further instruction. Do you understand?” 

I blink against the water that’s dripping down my face. Emma?

“My men. The injured men in my unit. Where?”

“They are at base getting medical. Captain, I need you to confirm that you understand me.”

I blink and then nod slowly. “Roger that.” I mutter distractedly. I look around. I’m in the backyard of my house, leaning against the brick exterior in my underwear. I have my pistol tucked in the back of the waistband of my boxers and I’m wearing the boots I leave by the back door. In my hands I’m clutching my old hunting rifle that I keep on the top shelf of my closet. Shit. I’ve done it again. I’ve had a PTSD nightmare, but this is so much worse because Emma is here to witness it. I look over at her. She’s crouching on her knees in front of me wearing nothing but my water-soaked t-shirt and panties while she’s barefoot in the mud. Water is dripping from the ends of her hair from the rain that’s pouring down on us. She looks terrified and concerned. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” My throat aches either from unshed tears or maybe I was yelling earlier.

“Austin, baby, are you back?”

I nod. “Emma, I’m so sorry.” I mutter as tears mix with the rain that drips down my face. This is what I was afraid would happen if I got close to her. If I let her in. I would relax and then my past would quite literally present itself.

“Baby, don’t be. You’re okay, we’re okay.” She tells me as she reaches towards my face that’s now aimed at the ground.

“Aika?” 

“I left her inside. I know you said she could help but I wasn’t able to tell if your rifle was loaded and I didn’t want her startling you and there being an accident.” 

Jesus. She was afraid I’d shoot my own dog, because she’s right, I was nowhere near my right mind. Here we are over six months since my last flashback yet this was the most involved PTSD episode I’ve ever had. Thank fuck I keep my ammunition locked and separate from my guns for situations like this. 

She stands and reaches to help me up but I can’t let her help me stand. My leg feels as though it has been shot just yesterday but that could be a result of me crouching on my knees in freezing rain outside in the middle of the night, not just the psychological pain from my flashback. 

“Come on baby.” She takes the rifle from my hand and I don’t protest. I follow her silently back to the house. The air conditioning on our soaked skin has both of our bodies covered in goose bumps. Aika bounds to me whining and crying and I sit down in a chair from the table and run my hands through her thick fur. I bury my face into her back and focus on breathing. My palm clutches my leg that’s radiating phantom pain from where I got shot. Emma appears next to me with a towel but hesitates. 

“Can I help you clean up a bit?” She gestures with the towel.

I nod and she leans down and starts wiping the mud off of my legs. 

“Sugar, I…”

“Baby, nothing needs to be said. I’m okay, and you are going to be. Would you take a warm shower with me?” I look at her and want to just burst into tears. How is she so kind and understanding after what I just did? After what I could have done?

“Please?” She urges and I nod. I follow her to the master bathroom and watch as she turns the water on. Aika stays close and sits down behind me in the bathroom floor. I have no idea what time it is in the night or early morning or how long she’s been awake dealing with me. Emma pulls out two fresh towels for us and then whips the sodden shirt off of her torso before removing her panties. She looks at me and then slowly and gently eases my soaked boxer briefs down my legs before taking my hand and pulling for me to get in the shower. Once I step in, steam surrounds me and I take a deep breath. I’m exhausted, flashbacks always take the energy out of me and it’s not like I’ve been sleeping great this past week. Emma begins lathering a wash cloth with soap and gently starts cleaning me. I stand there perfectly still and let her do what she wants as I attempt to think of anything that I could say to make this situation better. I’m aching with embarrassment. Once she washes me, she quickly washes herself before turning around and caressing her hand on my cheek. She leans down and picks up my wrists that were laying limp by my sides and wraps them around her waist before putting her own around my neck. My eyes are aimed down focusing on the suds swirling around the shower drain.

“Baby, look at me.” She says with the sincerest and worried look on her face and that’s when my resolve breaks. I bury my face into her neck as the hot tears stream from my eyes. I can’t seem to stop them and I ache when I hear myself let out a sob that sounds so painful and broken even to my own ears. Emma tightens her arms around me and guides me back to the bench that we once used for a much different form of intimacy. Emma curls herself around me and holds me tightly while I fully break down. Once my breath starts to come easier, I carefully pull my head from her shoulder and try to clean my face up.

“Let’s dry off and lay down.” She says as she turns off the water and starts toweling me off. I gently take the towel from her, not wanting to be babied but not wanting to seem ungrateful. Once we dry off, Emma hands me some boxers and she tosses on a dry shirt and panties on before we sit on the bed. It’s silent and I feel like I have to say something.

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be thinkin’ but I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I woke you, scared you and I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I completely understand if this is the last time I see you.” I say quietly and she looks shocked.

“Austin, I’m not going anywhere. This is what relationships are about. Holding each other through the good and bad. I’m not scared and you’re not fucked up. You’re haunted and although I don’t know the details of it, I want to help you through it. Even if you don’t want my help, I’m not leaving you.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I should be better. I survived, Damnit! I shouldn’t have any problems. Goodwin, Lowell, Waites, they are the ones who died. I just got shot in my stupid fucking leg after leading them to their deaths!” I sob.

“You are allowed to have problems. Their deaths are hard on you but you are not responsible for it. I don’t know what happened, but I know it’s not your fault.”

“The informant set us up, we were ambushed. Goodwin, God. Goodwin got shot right in front of me. I watched the life drain from his eyes. He has a little girl that he’s never met. If I had questioned the mission from my superiors or done more digging on the informant, they would all be alive right now. I had to look at their family members at their funerals and I’ll never forget the grief from their loved ones. Goodwin’s pregnant girlfriend, Lowell’s widow, Waites’ mom. I still see them sobbing over their caskets in my mind. I didn’t deserve to live when they didn’t get too.” I finally say out loud. I take deep breaths attempting to calm my body from going into another spiral.

“Bear.” Emma reaches for me.

“It’s been years and I still get like this. Hell, it might be getting worse. I don’t think this is something I’ll just get over. I’m too fucked up, Emma. You deserve someone who doesn’t have these types of demons.” My eyes blink heavily.

“You are not fucked up. I deserve you because you treat me better than I’ve ever been treated before.” My eyes droop and I know it’s a result of the flashback. When I have them, my body goes through the trauma all over again so when the adrenaline finally stops coursing through my body, I basically crash.

“Love, you look exhausted. Can you try to sleep for me?” She asks and gently pushes for me to lay down. My head is resting between her breasts as she lays back on her back. We’ve never laid like this before but it’s comforting.

“I’m right here, I’m not leaving. Aika’s here and so is Mills.” She tells me while caressing my head but my eyes are already closed, too heavy to fight staying open longer. I wrap my arm around her waist and within moments, I’m deeply asleep soothed by the steady rhythm of Emma’s heartbeat as she caresses my scalp.

Part 11

Taglist: @shellyshellshell, @henryownsme, @caramariehurst, @beck07990, @mollymal, @kingliam2019, @syversonswife, @identity2212, @starfirewildheart, @hannah9921, @wa-ni, @kneelforloki, @cutedoxie, @enchantedbytomandhenry, @foxyjwls007, @geralts-yenn, @courtlynwriter, @corrie1013, @squeezyvalkyrie, @summersong69, @livisss, @mayloma, @uunotheangel, @warriormirkwood

[paintyoureyeswithavividmind]

close to home | chapter twenty five

close to home | chapter twenty five

plot: the reader and Maggie have a heart to heart about a certain archer, and Eugene tells everyone the truth about his devious lies

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 1,259 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd A/N: thank you for reading!!! How's everyone liking dead city? Idk how I feel about it tbh

You stared around, dripping wet with water and blood. The smell of decayed bodies was revolting, and Tora was digging into your back through the bag. 

You and Maggie shared a look as Abraham laughed and congratulated Eugene on his quick thinking. You were too annoyed by Abraham’s controlling nature to really be paying attention and just followed Maggie into the truck. 

Despite the group’s hopefulness on the truck, it broke down a mile or so outside of town. You were frustrated and hot and missed your friends and family at the church. You wanted to lie down and cry and just give up on everything.

You were sitting on the road, watching Abraham work on the truck and ignoring the pain on your side. It was better again today, and you didn’t need more painkillers. Still, it hurt. But it was easier to ignore. 

“You okay?” Maggie asked, sitting down next to you. 

You shrugged, playing with the hole in your jeans. “I guess so.”

“Thank you. For coming with me. With us. I know I asked something big of you; I just….” She trailed off. 

You looked at her, shielding your eyes from the sun. “You don’t have to thank me, Maggie. You didn’t have to ask. I’d follow you anywhere.” 

Maggie smiled and hugged you quickly before handing you a water bottle. “Drink.”

“Yes, mom,” You sarcastically said.

“Daryl’s alive. I don’t know where he went, but… he’s alive.” She said, nudging your shoulder. “I know you’re worried about him.”

“I’m worried about all of them.” You said. 

Maggie smiled and looked at you, “I know. But you worry about him more.”

You didn’t reply as you thought about him. His blue eyes and pretty smile--when he did smile. His hair was always in the way of his eyes. The scruff on his chin. You did worry about him. And you missed him. You’d only been reunited for a few days before he disappeared, and you left. You missed being around him. You missed just sitting in silence with him. That was your favorite thing. How comfortable you were with him. You’ve never been able to just sit in silence with anyone until you met him. And you loved it. You loved being able to just sit with him. 

“Did anything ever happen…?” Maggie asked. 

You glanced at her before you realized what she meant. “No. We’re just close. He’s…”

“Older than you?”

You shook your head, “No, no, that’s not what I was talking about. I just meant that he’s like my best friend. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Did you ever want anything to happen?”

Your cheeks reddened, and you shook your head. “It doesn’t matter if I did or didn’t. I doubt I’ll see him ever again.”

“They could be right down the road from us. What would you do if you saw him right now?” Maggie asked. 

You glanced at her. “Yell at him for leaving like that. I don’t know, Maggie, it was never like that. I know what you’re hinting at. I don’t think he was interested like that, and besides, he and Carol are really close too. And she’s closer to his age.”

Maggie laughed and stood up, dusting off her backside. “He doesn’t look at Carol the way he looks at you.”

You snorted, “Like I’m a pain in his ass?” 

She smiled and shook her head. “Like Glenn looks at me.”

***

Your cousin's words were still on your mind as you stared at the thousands of walkers a mile down the road. Like Glenn looks at me. Surely that isn’t true. Maggie didn’t know what she was talking about. She was blinded by her love for Glenn. She looked at everything through love-tinted glasses.

It was silent, and you didn’t really want to voice any opinion on the matter. You didn’t want to be the one that Abraham pointed his fury at. 

When Glenn started walking away, you all followed him. 

“Let’s go. We gotta do.”

You had only walked a few steps when Rosita started calling for Abraham, and you groaned in frustration when he started talking about going straight through. 

“This isn’t going to work.” You said, agreeing with the group as Abraham, again, continued to talk about not stopping. 

When the redhead grabbed Eugene and started pushing him forward, you all started yelling to get him to stop. You were nearly at the truck when Tara tried to get him to stop, and he pushed her away. 

That sparked a rage in everyone, and Glenn attempted to get him to stop again. You glanced backward, hoping that all the yelling wouldn’t attract any walkers in the woods. If enough were there, they could pull that massive herd. 

Rosita knocked into you and you both fell, and you cursed loudly as she landed on your leg. But neither of you took a second to breathe before you were back up and trying to get Eugene away from Abraham. 

Over the screaming of you all, Eugene started yelling. “I’m not a scientist! I’m not a scientist! I lied. I’m not a scientist. I don’t know how to stop it. I’m not a scientist.”

It was silent. And you were too shocked to say anything.

“You are a scientist, I’ve seen the things that you could do.” Rosita said. 

“I just know things.”

“You just… know things?” Glenn asked. 

You let out a disappointed sigh and looked around, a hand pressed against your forehead. Eugene started to explain why he lied in an insulting manner, and you looked back as Rosita almost started crying about people dying to get him there. 

You looked at Maggie’s face; the devastation made your heartache. You wanted to say something to her, but Abraham stood up and attacked Eugene. 

You immediately jumped to help in, but everything happened too quickly, and Eugene was on the ground. You and Maggie quickly knelt down, and with Glenn’s help, you rolled him over. You looked over his facial wounds, your stomach dropping at the sight. His head took a huge hit and you tried your best to see what kind of damage he had. 

“I think a concussion…” You said, looking at his glazed-over eyes. “Or shock cause of the pain.” You said to Maggie and Rosita. “I think he’ll be okay. His body needs to fight it off. We don’t have anything else….”

***

The next few hours were uneventful. You stayed with Maggie to watch over Eugene and Abraham while Glenn, Tara, and Rosita looked for food. You and your cousin had nothing better to do than to sit and wait, so that’s what you did. 

Tora was sleeping in the truck with the windows pulled down, and you were sitting at the back. Maggie was trying to talk some sense into Abraham, but he couldn’t hear a damn thing. So instead, she grabbed a ladder, and you jumped up to help her. 

Once Eugene was in the shade, there was nothing to do but wait. And wait. And wait. 

“What do you think?” You asked Maggie quietly. “We go back to the church?”

“No sense in going to D.C.; probably the smarter thing to do.” She sighed. 

“You okay?”

“I didn’t want to get my hopes up about all this… because it was hard to believe. But to know. For sure. That it isn’t. Well…”

You nodded, understanding her completely. There weren’t any other words to say.