#but...well...I have no pokerface

[andyourhostkristenwiig]

Remember when I was 21, in job training, and had a major crush on the vice mayor aka my 2nd boss who was 12 years older than me?

Well get ready for the sequel where I am 29, in a full-time job in a different town and have a major on crush on the head of my department aka my 1st boss below the mayor, who's 5 years older than me and a friend's cousin.

[pumaskulls]

I really do find a way to make this joke for literally every one of my stories, huh...

[alyakthedorklord]

Bat Poker Face Training

Dick, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Jason all crammed into someones room, with a kidnapped Duke sitting awkwardly with them, kinda scared.

Duke: “Uh… what’s going on?”

Steph, completely blank faced and standing ominously in the corner: “It has come to our attention that you require training.”

Duke: “Bruce is already teaching me really well-“

Jason, also blank faced: “That’s bat training. This is robin training.”

Cass, carefully but without a single emotion: “Sibling training.”

Dick, face just as blank as all his other siblings: “It’s much more fun.”

Duke, freaked out by the empty faces: “Am I being hazed?”

Jason: “Eh, maybe. Scared?

Tim, not giving Duke a second to reply: “Yes, he is. It’s written all over his face. And while its okay to be scared, sometimes hiding your true emotions in the field is a matter of life, death, and secret identities.”

Dick: “You’re going to be flustered. Humiliated. Terrified. Angry. Relieved. Your vigilante ID dragged through the mud in front of you as a civilian. Someone worried about your civilian ID and you need to keep them away.“

Tim: “Not just as a Bat, but a Wayne. Some dinosaur at a gala is going to say the most out of pocket thing you’ve ever heard in your life and you’ve just got to stand there.”

Duke: “So that’s the reason you’re doing the creepy thing?”

Steph: “Yes Duke. You need to have a poker face that Even Superman can’t break. That even a Fifth-dimensional Imp can’t crack! And that is the purpose of our training tonight!”

Duke, getting the program now: “Okay. I’m ready.”

Jason, allowing a creepy grin to slide over his face: “Don’t be so sure. Because what we are about to show you… it has broken Batman.”

Dick: “Damian is too innocent to see it, which is why he isn’t here.”

Steph: “If you can handle this, you can handle anything.”

Tim, tapping on his computer, chanting under his breath: “the horrors, the horrors, the horrors…”

Duke, terrified of what Tim is about to pull up, on the edge of his seat wondering what on earth can shake the Bat of Gotham, what the family considers too awful for thier arguably LEAST innocent member to see, what vile images he’s about to be shown…

Tap. The screen lights up white.

Duke: “No.”

Jason, grin widening: “We’ll be reading this aloud, for your entertainment.”

Duke, trembling and inching towards the door: “No.”

Steph, vice grip on Duke’s arm: “There’s no escaping it, Signal. This is your mission- to stay completely pokerfaced through Real Person Fanfiction of us- the Batfamily. And co, of course.”

Duke, sobbing: “Please, why… why would you do this to yourselves… oh god, is that… is that… is that Kate with Bruce? She’s a lesbian! And his cousin!”

Steph: “They don’t know that, Duke. They know nothing. And the depths of a human imagination is comparable to the depths of the ocean… there’s some weird shit down there.”

Tim, without a single emotion on his face, least of all mercy: “I had to sit through Young Justice fawning over Dick and Bruce. Do you know what they said? About my own father figure? Right in front of my salad? I was lucky I was wearing a mask. I cried, and I cried in silence. They knew NOTHING, because I showed nothing. This is what you must achieve.”

Jason: “I’ve had to listen to criminals talk about what they’d do to the ‘Prince of Gotham’ and not twitch. I’ve had to listen to both goons and civilians play fuck marry kill with our vigilante identities and not move a muscle. I know this feels like overkill, but trust me, it’s not.”

Dick: “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it mostly PG. Tim? Begin with the wildly out of character and aggressively heteronormative Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman love triangle. Then maybe we’ll work our way up to slash readers and…” shudders in horror, “…batcest.”

Duke: “NOOOOOOOO!!!”

[ellecdc]

Ooooo Mother, i'll do one better!!

What about the boys (established relationship) being needy over reader?? Like something she does or says or wears.

ooooooooof good one babes

okay, mature content ahead: viewer discretion is advised

James:

you come down the stairs to the Gryffindor party looking like that

certified simp, there would be no question what was going through his mind when he get's needy like this

glassy eyes just ogling you

following you around like a lost puppy - his friends would joke that you had him on some invisible leash

probably has a hand on you at all times

I see him getting a little whiny: "can we go now?" "the party's almost over, right?" "they won't miss us for a few minutes?"

whatever ends up happening afterwards is rushed and frantic - it's very obvious how absolutely desperate he was for you

Sirius:

you come down the stairs to the Gryffindor party looking like that

I don't think he lets you make a full round of the party before he's pulling you up to his dorm and locking the door

"Siri! I was talking to Emmeline!"

He'd scoff at you as he started shedding his clothes. "You come down stairs looking like that and expect me not to want to jump your bones immediately? Fuck, look at you; who even gave you permission to look this good, huh?"

idk about you but that sentence alone would have me in a puddle

ravishes you - you both look like a right mess afterwards

he takes about 30 seconds to revert back to his dishevelled rockstar appearance (which is so unfair because it took you a little longer to get ready tonight)

he dutifully helps you get redressed - the whole nine yards. Hair, makeup, outfit; though he makes sure some of the marks he's decorated your skin with are visible... "they compliment the ensemble, doll face"

Remus:

you come down the stairs to the Gryffindor party looking like that

he's got a good pokerface, but there'd be signs

he'd be a little quieter during conversations - most of his attention placed on you, one of his hands would be near his mouth as he played with his lips (like a nervous tick, almost like he really wants a cigarette right now)

but this man's M.O.? Get you feeling just as needy as he is

he would ask you to dance - and it'd be sinful: your back pressed up against his front as your hips sways in sync to the beat

his hands would be all over you: running up and down your thighs, slipping under the skirt of your dress, arms wrapping around your middle, gentle kisses pressed to your ears and neck

he'd have you so wound up and when you finally turn in his lap to ask him if he wanted to go upstairs, he'd smile at you and say "great idea, dove. I don't think they'll miss us for a little while."

get's exactly what he wanted and somehow it had been your idea

Regulus:

you come down the stairs to the Slytherin party looking like that

I think it would piss him off a little bit, quite frankly - how dare you come down stairs looking that good and acting like you weren't knocking the wind out of Regulus? (and likely every other partygoer there)

I think because he's feeling slightly jealous/a little peeved at you, he'd keep his distance at the party; but you would feel his eyes on you all night

his predatory gaze watching you as you navigate the party, sending threatening glares at anyone getting too close or was looking for too long

finally as the party is dying down, you're halfway through a conversation with Dorcas when you feel a looming presence behind you

"We're leaving." He says simply, taking your elbow and ushering you towards the dorm rooms.

you try to scold him for interrupting your conversation and rudely dragging you away from the party

he narrows his eyes and looks you up and down: "you don't get to show up to the party looking like sex on a stick and then berate me for finally getting you alone"

you smirk at him. "if you wanted me alone so bad, all you had to do was ask"

"Well, here I am." "I'm all yours, reg"

Barty:

you come down the stairs to the Slytherin party looking like that

your foot has barely hit the last step before you're hastily thrown over Barty's shoulder and he's running to his dorm room

"But Barty! The party!"

"Fuck the party! There are more important things to do."

you guys never make it back to the party - a shame too, you really liked that dress....the one that was since ripped off of your body and sat in a pile on the floor

"Don't worry treasure, I'll buy you 40 more of those dresses; though I can't promise they won't end up in the same state"

[holdmytesseract]

🩷Salut mon amie🩷

I just can't let this perfect opportunity slip... What about a Daryl x f!reader post-outbreak song fic with “So High School“ by Taylor leading your wonderful mind??? 😊

Clandestine Meetings

Daryl Dixon x fem!Greene!Reader

Summary: You sneak out to meet Daryl in the watch tower - the first moment of privacy you share since months.

Warnings: 18+!!! Minors do not interact! veeery suggestive smut/'smut' (not very graphic, but it's there), fluff, we ignore the age, humour?

Set in Season 3!

Word Count: 1,4k

a/n: Thank you for requesting, my friend! I don't know if it fits 'So High School', but that's what my mind came up with. Hope you like it! 🤍

Daryl Masterlist °☆• Masterlist °☆• Echoes of Hope Masterlist

The sun was about to set when you made your way out of the C-Block. Snuck was probably the more fitting word, though. You snuck your way out of the C-Block. To your luck was everybody else occupied with other things, so you had more or less free rein to get unnoticed to your destination... The watch tower. Once you reached the yard, you adjusted the rifle strapped around your shoulder; a victorious smile spreading on your lips.

You crowed too soon.

"Y/N?" A very familiar voice suddenly cut through the air and caused you to stop dead in your motion. "What are you doing out here? Where are you goin'? It's almost dark..." Maggie... Your sister.

"Damn..." You cursed under your breath; now seeing her approaching you, wearing some of the police gear. A bloody knife was in her hands.

You lifted your head to meet her eyes. "I could ask you the same, y'know," you retorted playfully; hoping that you'd somehow get out of this situation. Maggie frowned for a moment; stepping closer. "Been out with Glenn; fixing the fence and gettin' rid of some walkers." "Ah..." You nodded, "Ya sure do look like it." and giggled; still hoping to get away.

"Where are you goin'? We shouldn't walk 'round here alone. Especially at night. Even though the yard is cleared." "I'm not plannin' to walk around," you immediately said; lifting your hands in surrender. "Don't worry, sis." Your sister crossed her arms over her armoured chest; a stern expression on her face - and you knew immediately that she wasn't up for jokes anymore. She was being serious now. "Spit it out, Y/N - and it better be the truth." You sighed defeated; knowing that you had lost. Well, perhaps you were just really bad at lying and keeping a pokerface. "I wanted to go to the watch tower," you finally admitted; nodding towards the tall building at the foot of the prison. "The watch tower?" Maggie raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Since when are you on watch this late?" "I'm not." You shook your head. "But, uh, Daryl is."

Maggie looked at you surprised. "Daryl?" You nodded; biting your lip. "Uh.Huh. Thought I keep him company for a bit." "Keep him company?" "Mhm."

Your sister gave you a suspicious look, before crossing her arms over her chest. "Is there somethin' I should know about?" "No," you said, but the pink on your cheeks was betraying you. "Y/N..." Maggie pushed; your awkward behaviour rising only more suspicions. "Okay, fine!" You sighed once more. Yeah. you had lost. For real now. Maggie wouldn't let you go without telling her the whole truth. She took her sister role very seriously.

"I, uh, I really like Daryl. Have been since the farm and well, uh, we're kinda together?"

A big smile stretched over Maggie's face. "Honestly? I suspected that you two were a thing." You blinked; shocked and surprised. "W-Wha'? How?" Her smile widened as stepped closer; wrapping an arm around you. "The looks you give each other? Him always making sure you're safe? Especially when we were on the road? I noticed, sis. You two were being not quite subtle..." Your cheeks reddened even more at her words. "Hey, sweetie. No need to be embarrassed 'bout it. I'm happy for you, truly. Daryl is a good man - but if he hurts you, I'll still cut off his balls." You couldn't help but giggle; your nervosity finally melting away. "He won't, Maggie. He's a keeper." "I know. I'm just sayin'..." Your sister said and started to walk away. Halfway, though, she turned back to face you; a smug grin on her lips. "Hey, sis?" "Yeah?" "If you need some, Glenn and I can spare a few condoms," she hollered over; winking and causing you to blush once again. "Maggie!" "What?" She laughed. "Wrap it 'fore you tap it." You rolled your eyes and reached inside your pocket; fishing for something. Once you found the little foil package, you lifted it up for Maggie to see. "I know! I'm prepared!"

Your sister's smirk even widened, "See you in the morning then." and winked at you once more. Before she could walk away, you stopped her. "Maggie?" Again she faced you. "Don't tell daddy yet, okay?" Your sister nodded, "I won't. This is up to you." and truly walked away this time.

Your gaze lingered on her for a moment, before you made your way to the watch tower; silently closing the door behind you and walking up the steps to reach the top door. Cautiously, you stepped inside; finding Daryl gazing out of the window.

"Yer late," his deep, gruff voice urged to your ears as he turned with the tiniest smirk twitching on the corner of his lips. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I, uh, ran into my sister on the way." He shook his head, "'No need ta apologise, darlin'. Hell, 'm happy ya even came." and put his crossbow carefully down; leaning it against the wall beside you rifle.

You raised a playful eyebrow at him. "Why on earth shouldn't I? This is the first time we have some real privacy since the farm." Daryl shrugged his shoulders; chewing on his bottom lip. "Dunno. Coulda lost interest in me or somethin'." "Lose interest in you?" You asked almost in disbelief, "Daryl..." and stepped closer to the archer. You casually leaned against his broad body; hands playing with the buttons of his ruby coloured shirt. "I will never lose interest in you. I love you way too much for that - and the things you make me feel."

A small, smug smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. "The things I make ya feel, huh? Tha' good?" You scoffed and playfully slapped his chest. "You know damn well it is."

The archer held your intense gaze for another moment, before he cupped your cheeks and without further ado connected your lips with his; dragging you into a fierce, passionate kiss. A kiss which was enough to light up the fire between you.

With his lips still hungrily moving against yours, Daryl's big hands went to grab your waist and swiftly turn you around in order to urge you forward. When the back of your thighs collided with the edge of a little desk, you knew what Daryl had in mind. Before you were even able to finish your thought, one of Daryl's strong arms engulfed your waist and effortlessly lifted you onto the desk. A soft squeak escaped your lips at his sudden movement, but it quickly faded into a moan as the archer started to latch on your neck; his arm still firmly wrapped around you.

"D..." You gasped and tried to somehow signal him that you were in desperate need of more; arms clinging to his broad upper body. But the man was so lost in you and your sweet scent, that he didn't notice. So, you had to take the steering wheel.

Wrapping your legs around his thighs, you urged him closer; hips colliding with yours. A deep, guttural grunt left Daryl's lips. He pulled back to look at you; pupils blown wide - swallowed by love and desire. Now he got the hint.

Wetting his lips, he made quick work to open your tech-wear pants. "Get rid of 'em, will ya?" He grunted with a nod; now undoing his own rugged jeans. You giggled at his sudden impatience; shedding your pants and underwear, before hopping back onto the desk.

Daryl stepped between your open legs; calloused fingers dancing over your bare thighs, causing goosebumps to spread across your skin.

In a swift motion, he hooked his palms underneath the back of your knees and pulled you forwards; lips crashing against yours once again. Before your hazy brain was able to catch up, were Daryl's hips moving against yours. All you could do was moan into his kiss and hold onto the archer for dear life.

"D-Daryl..." You breathed; fingers clawing into his angel-winged vest. You could feel him shaking his head against your shoulder. "I-I know, s-sunshine," he grunted; biceps bulging at how tightly he grasped the edge of the wooden desk. You moaned; burying one hand in his hair, which had grown quite a lot in the past months.

Moments later, you fell into the sweet abyss of pleasure together.

The archer was panting hard against your neck; palms now resting on your thighs. "I love ya, too." You giggled and turned your head to press a lingering kiss against his scruff cheek.

Tags: @fictive-sl0th @loz-3 @celtic-crossbow @erebus-et-eigengrau @sweetz1919 @fuseburner @in-this-minute @stitchintimefan @suniloli @mandywholock1980 @mischief-dream @km-ffluv @crimson25 @buttercupcookies-blog @salvinaa @javagirl328 @marvelcasey05

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 17 - "I never said it would be easy."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: T

Warnings: -

A/N: I saw a post with a comment that Dan chronological wise is ten years old according to a wiki, I haven't seen it myself but I decided to run with it for this anyway.

It was supposed to be a normal morning but that got quickly interrupted by a long drawn out shout of 'Bruce' and a white and black blur suddenly flying though their ceiling right at Bruce. Two out of four present bat-kids instantly sprang up from their chairs into defense positions and with drawn weapons. The other two only arched an eyebrow before turning their attention back to their breakfast with a suppressed laugh, they had seen that black and white blur often enough during their times as Robin.

Damian glared at his older brothers as he stood with drawn throwing knives while Tim after a second of realization sighed, righten his chair from the ground and sat only slightly embarrassed at how Dick and Jason laughed.

Hovering above their breakfast table with his hands on Bruce's shoulder was now Phantom also known as Danny Nightingale, looking completely frazzled. The source of the yell as well as white and black blur from seconds ago.

"Bruce! I need your help! Please! I can't ask Jazz because she is busy and I sure as hell won't ask Trenchcoat. I don't think Supes can handle them and you're like the only one else I could think of to ask! Bruce, please!"

None of the bat kids really knew how long exactly Bruce had known Phantom. The man had only recently admitted to personally knowing the Ghost Hero when Nightwing had caught Phantom collapsing onto Batman and de-transforming and Batman handling it like that hadn't been the first time. They only knew that he had been an unofficial member of Justice League Dark and was the one that helped Jason with his Pit Madness as well as came to visit every now and then as Danny. What they had learned additionally from Alfred was that Phantom was the adopted son of Alfred's old friend and that when Bruce had been younger, he often came to visit or to hang out with them to escape his own family drama.

The bat-kids had figured out that way that Bruce and Danny were probably something akin to childhood friends that both also worked in the hero buisness.

Either way no one was in danger and so they watched on with curiosity as to what Phantom wanted. So far the Ghost Hero was still rambling on and on about something he couldn't entrust to anyone other than Bruce, while their father was leisurely taking a sip from his coffee completely pokerfaced like he was used to the other man rambling at him like that.

"Danny." Bruce finally cut in as the other was about to restart his entire plea for help. "World ending or personal."

The white haired man blinked as he finally floated to the side and let his reformed feet touch the ground. "Both? Sort of?"

Bruce grunted, the universal sigh for the other man to elaborate and the children payed attention interested on what was going on.

"I have a diplomatic meeting with the Tempest Dimension. One of their Demon Lords discovered that interdimensional travel is actually possible by having created a portal when he tried to teleport somewhere in their Dimension. I can't take Dani and Dan with me for this, the last time I allowed them to accompany me they nearly caused a dimensional war. Clockwork doesn't want to watch them, Jazz is to busy trying her newest psychological tortur- I mean therapy on Joker and I can't make the fruitloop watch them since both Dan and Dani swore they would wreck havoc if I leave them with him during football season."

Bruce arched an eyebrow and Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yea I know, but last time Trenchcoat watched them he nearly sold his soul again to never ever babysit them again. And Clark is too nice to watch them, they will use it against him."

Bruce hummed. "How old are they now?"

"Five and ten body wise since the assimilation process with their bodies finished a couple years ago. They should start normal aging soon."

The bat-kids exchanged confused, disturbed and partially horrified looks at what the two men were talking about. There were so many questions they had. They were wondering if they could make Bruce talk about his childhood and get some information about Phantom that way. Tim had attempted researching him once and barely found anything besides some disturbing information about a haunted tourist town called Amity Park that was Phantom's territory.

"Bruce! Please! They have a dragon with a human body in that dimension! I just know that Dan or Dani will attempt to fight him!" Suddenly an idea popped in Dicks head and exchanged a glance with his siblings, checking if they had similar thoughts.

"We could watch them!" Dick then piped up, this was their chance to find out more about Phantom and his relationship with their dad.

Wide green eyes blinked at Dick and for a moment he felt like he had made a grave mistake, especially as he noticed Jason was sneaking away now like he decided he did not want to be part of any of this. Which is fair but come on, this was their chance.

"Are you sure?" Phantom questioned him carefully, side eyeing Bruce who was still calmly sipping his coffee and gave phantom a slight nod.

"You said five and ten, right? How bad can it be watching kids their age! They can even hang out with me and Dami!"

"Do not involve me-" Damian's complaint was shushed by Tim stuffing a pancake in the others mouth, earning him a death glare from their youngest but it was good to know that at least one of them was on his side with this plan.

This time Danny exchanged a full on look with their father, it appeared like they were silently talking. Something Dick doesn't really remember Bruce doing with anyone in the way he saw it right now.

"Well if you say so…" Phantom slowly agreed before reaching with his hand into a green portal pulling out a heavy looking bag. "This is the medicine box. If either of them look the slightest bit melty use the syringes in here. That's ecto-dejecto and basically ghost medicine for them. Though for emergencies there is a portal amulet that leads right to Frostbite."

The bat-kids looked stunned at what Danny was holding up before putting it back into the medical box and pulling out a silver green thermos front he bag. "If Dan misbehaves in any way or form use this to put him in time out. Just point the open Thermos in his direction and press the button down here. Pressing the button again will release him, but if he misbehaves to the point of having to use the thermos you can leave him in there until I pick them up again."

They knew that Phantom wasn't completely human but was that normal parenting? Hadn't they seen him use that thermos on enemies of the JLD before? And he was using it to discipline his kids?

"They know better than to overshadow anyone to get their will but in case one of them does, these bracelets should keep you safe from it. Otherwise call Bruce, he is one of the four and a half adults they listen to too."

"Is all of that really necessary? I am just babysitting them right?" Dick asked, still a bit stunned as Phantom handed him the bag.

"Yes. I never said it would be easy." The man only answered before opening another portal and sticking his head through for a brief moment.

A little girl of five hopped out of it a second later looking like a perfect copy of Danny Nightingale's human form, though what was more shocking was the hulk of a man with flaming hair coming through the portal growling and snarling at them as the grown man stood behind the girl with crossed arms. From the corner of his eyes Dick saw Phantom pinching the bridge of his nose. Before he floated over to the tall man and quite frankly pinched and pulled on that man's ear.

"Dan. Human-form now."

The man continued to growl and snarl for a moment with blazing red eyes before two white circles formed around his middle. A transformation they had seen a couple of times before from Phantom after Bruce had admitted to knowing him personally and introduced him as Danny.

Instead of the hulking beast of a man there was now a ten years old boy that looked surprisingly similar to Damian just lighter skinned and blue eyed. The boy still growled at them with his arms crossed while the little girl giggled. Damian was looking at the two with narrowed eyes before he turned his stare on Bruce.

"This is Dani and Dan." Danny introduced the two kids and Dick heard Tim mutter something about unoriginality when it came to naming. But before anyone else could comment on anything or even greet the kids an eyeball appeared out of thin air. The ghost hero and his kids looked at it for a moment before the man sighed dismissing it with a wave of his hand.

"I have to go now! Dani, Dan behave and play nice. If anything goes wrong Bruce has my emergency summoning pendant!" A second later Phantom disappeared through the portal the kids had come in, the little girl, Dani, gleefully shouting a quick "Bye mom!" Before the portal closed.

There was a moment of silence before Damian decided to break it. "Father, I believe there is something you have failed to inform us about."

"And that would be?"

"The existence of blood related siblings you have sired with Phantom."

[emelinstriker]

Soundwave & Shockwave ♡ Be More Expressive

Second X Reader one-shot to be dropped. And guess who's just been told that her wisdom teeth need to be extracted. Fuck. :D

[TL;DR] You have stickers and art supplies. And two lovely victims.

♡ ~ Fluff ~ ♡

"There is nothing logical about what you are doing."

"Shush'up, Shocky- I'll have you know I'm great at drawing!" You sassily stated as you continued working on a little doodle on his shoulder pad. You drew it right in your science lover's field of view so he would also remember you were there. However, your body was in front of the drawing to make it a bit of a surprise. So for the last few minutes Shockwave was only able to stare at your butt. Not bad of a sight in his point of view (literally), but he was still curious.

"That's not what I was referring to."

"I know, I know... But then you'll have something that reminds you of our relationship! No worries, it's easy to wash off if you don't like the drawing in the end." The cyclops ex-vented, deeming your response as logical enough to please him.

"And... tadaaa! What do you think?" You moved aside so Shockwave could have a proper look at what you did to his shoulder pad.

You drew an adorable little piece of his and Soundwave's helms, as well as your head surrounded by a heart. Shockwave actually felt a little flattered by your artwork, and yet he decided to play off what he actually felt.

"It looks logical", he commented. You pouted at his response. Again, he found your human way of expressing yourself interesting.

"Be more expressive, damn'it!" Suddenly your gaze locked onto your little bag filled with your art supplies... including stickers and sticky notes. You had a grin on your face as you pulled out a package of stickers and took out a few. Once you had a few sticking to your hand, you turned to give your Conjunx a bright smile before leaning down and lightly slapping random colorful stickers all over his chassis. If Shockwave had a faceplate instead of one optic, he probably would've given you a confused pokerface mixed with internal screaming. But here he was, simply observing your actions out of curiosity.

"What are you doing?"

"Sticking sticky stickers, duh. Here," you started as you grabbed a sticky note and wrote something on it before aggressively sticking the note just above his optic. "You deserve a DUM sticker for that question, mister!" You pouted at him before slapping his frame with more stickers. You finally decided to stop when you emptied one whole sticker package, finishing by putting a little unicorn sticker on your own cheek for a little partner look. Leaning back to have a better overview of your newest masterpiece, you hummed in satisfaction. The scientist was covered in stickers that looked definitely odd on him, accompanied by a DUM sticker over his optic. Good thing the note was so much smaller than his optic because otherwise giving him a little kiss on it would've made it a bit harder. "I love you."

After giving him the little kiss as appreciation for his tolerance, a certain Intelligence Officer came into the lab, much to Shockwave's relief and your happiness. You frantically waved one arm around up high, leaning back against Shockwave's helm. "Hiya, Sounders!"

As he walked over to the two of you, his visor held the image of a smile until he was standing in front of you and the bigger mech. The ex-gladiator raised his servo up next to you and gently rubbed your cheek with a digit. A pixel heart appeared on his visor as he did so. You giggled at his affection, leaning into his digit's touch. "Aw, I love you too."

You glanced at Shockwave's sticker-covered frame and smirked mischivously, turning back to face your other Conjunx' visor. The heart instantly faded and got replace with a raised eyebrow emoticon. He didn't like that look on your face and decided to leave while he still could. So, he slowly pulled his digit away from you and took one step backwards.

"Hey Shocky," you started as you pulled out another package of stickers. "Wanna see me make Sounders suffer as well?" His ear fins perked up in delight. He was definitely amused by your suggestion.

"Equality only seems logical, sweetspark."

Shockwave approached the shorter mech, already armed with you in his servo. You were smirking, menacingly. The scientist held you out towards the TIC's chassis. And before said mech could escape by moving further back, there was already a unicorn sticker slapped onto him. Surprised by your swiftness, he looked down at his chassis. You caught him off-guard once more when he saw you had already drawn a little red heart on Laserbeak's left wing.

That's when he heard rather evil giggling coming from his right.

Oh scrap. You were now on his shoulder pad, doodling away with a line of stickers already trailing up from his chassis to the side of his helm.

You and Shockwave weren't exactly the sneakiest duo, so this greatly surprised him. Then again, he must've been in some form of trance in that moment. However, there wasn't much he could do to stop you now that you already marked him with your stickers and drawings. Well, more like he didn't have the spark to stop you. You have managed to basically capture him and he was being a good sport about it.

The scientist had already resumed working on the project you had interrupted earlier, calm relief visible in his posture. His sticker-covered frame turned to you one last time. "They are your artistic problem now, Soundwave. Do not bring them back until all their stickers and art supplies are gone from their possession." His right ear fin flicked upwards by a little, as if he was smirking at your other lover.

You laughed at his words while the masked mech showed a smiley on his visor as he nodded. Then he decided to walk out of the room with you still present on his shoulder, having your fun with your supplies.

Bonus:

Shockwave approached Megatron's location, ready to report his progress, when the warlord suddenly let out a chuckle. He couldn't even look the cyclops properly in the optic. The DUM sticker was too much of a funny distraction.

"I see. Soundwave wasn't the only victim affected by this... sticky situation."

His ear fins drooped at his master's discovery, unamused by the joke. That's when he looked behind the grey mech and noticed Soundwave completely covered in stickers and lovely drawings. He had more stickers on him than Shockwave, and yet still held a pixel heart on his visor as he used one digit to pat their shared organic Conjunx, who was still on his shoulder pad, on the head.

[ Masterlist ]

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Then, Can You make a fluff oneshot between Beidou and Make Reader with kuudere Personality and Cryo vision?

Beidou with a cold reader

characters: Beidou x gn!reader

warnings: none, just fluff

a/n: I haven't written for Beidou in… a while. So if I got some aspects of her character wrong I’m really sorry! If it shouldn't be to your liking, tell me and I'll try again once I have the time/motivation!

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Beidou

While you had your moments, your general attitude matched your vision to a tee. All in all, it was rare to see you wearing anything but a pokerface on your face, no matter if at a celebratory meal with the rest of the crew or while fighting monsters and storms on the sea, you remained unfazed, always looking disinterested and yet never refusing to participate in anything Beidou suggested.

Even if some outside observers might have found it difficult to imagine any reasons for two personalities as clashing as yours and your captain’s to get along as well as you did, Beidou herself could think of at least a dozen. From a professional standpoint having a number two as collected as you helped to balance out her… more enthusiastic personality. But there were also more than enough reasons for the two of you to get along well in private. Including but not limited to:

No matter how uninterested you looked, you were still a great listener, letting Beidou talk your ear off whether she was sober or not while somehow managing to remember more from your one-sided conversations than she did herself. You were good at making sure she didn’t overdo it during her more reckless moments and most importantly: the way you managed to tell any story from your adventures in a completely deadpan and unimpressed manner proved some of the most unexpected comedic entertainment either she or the rest of the crew could ask for.

“Come onnnnn, pleaseeeee", your drunk Crewmate begged you, slurring while holding on to your arm as if his life depended on it, only for you to briefly close your eyes in slight annoyance, grabbing your vision with your free hand before pressing it against his until the cold became too much for him to bear and he was forced to pull away.

“You were there as well. Tell them the story yourself”, you refuted, only to almost immediately make out the sound of several other of your drunk companions to start whining to you.

“I’m too drunk”, he retorted, and while he was obviously telling the truth, his argument was still far from convincing you in the slightest.

Just as you were about to tell him he should have told the story before drinking then however, a sudden weight on your shoulder caused your attention to shift towards it, only to be greeted with the sight of Beidou standing next to you, one hand on your shoulder and the other on her hip, the blush on her cheeks making it obvious she herself wasn’t sober in the slightest. And yet she was still a thousand times better off than any of the others.

“That and you’re just the best at telling stories”, she added with a smile. 

If it was anyone else, you would have brushed off the compliment as flattery and nothing else before quickly turning them down, and yet whenever it was Beidou that asked you, you found yourself considering it.

You had never really understood why they always wanted you to be the one to relay their adventures. When you had asked her however, she told you that while everyone else tried to embellish their stories and make it sound even more impressive than it already was, the way you did the exact opposite and made even the most epic fight sound like it was just another tuesday was more entertaining than anything the others had to offer. And while you still found it difficult to understand just why exactly that was the case, you had the sneaking suspicion you wouldn’t be able to get a more satisfying answer no matter who you asked.

“Alright”, came your brief answer, only for everyone to huddle up in earshot almost immediately, and yet all your mind paid attention to was the small cheer coming out of Beidou’s mouth as she removed her hand from your shoulder, placed it on your head, and ruffled your hair for a moment before sitting down next to you.

Thankfully everyone was too drunk to remember the small smile that broke across your face.

[katz-chow]

dinner party w/ john price

synopsis: you make john have better self control :)

warnings: mdni, porn no plot, under the table, vibrator, public, sub!m, dom!gn

It wasn't too often that you find yourself hand in hand with John to one of his colleague's houses for dinner. It proved to be worthwhile when you get to dress up, have a dinner made for you at no cost, have a good time, and make new friends. So here you two were, sat at the large, wooden table, John being rather quiet. He mumbles when he speaks, a beer in hand but taking more sips than he should be.

"Price, we're having dessert already and you've barely spoken. You got a stick up your arse or something?" One of his friends laughs and you see John smile, a free hand rubbing over his face tiredly.

John sighs and drops his head, face growing a bit red. Your finger hovers over the app on your phone, ready to increase the speed whenever you deem it's readily available. "Just not feeling all that well, I suppose." He shrugs.

Your finger lands on the steady circle on your app, swiping up to the top of your phone. You see John's knuckles grow white from his tight grasp on the neck of the glass bottle. You tease him again by lowering the vibrating intensity. Instantly, his shoulders drop as a breath he was holding gets released. He looked worked up, tired even, so his excuses worked.

His colleagues seem to accept this as they continue their talk on whatever military jargon they were involved in, something about an overbearing CO. You smile softly at the other spouses, a bit lost themselves as your thumb swipes up on your phone again from under the table.

John shifts next to you in his seat. You smile a bit wider, resting the side of your face onto his bicep for comfort, whether yours or his, it was uncertain. His free hand drops under the table, finding itself on top of your own. You smile at his reaction, thumb deciding to swipe up and down on the speed of the vibrations, disrupting the rhythm he seems to have gotten used to.

His hand grip onto yours, clammy from the tension and pleasure that has been rushing through him. He moves your hand from your lap onto his, a hard cock meets you through his jeans. You palm him along with the vibe attached to his tip whirling at a slow, steady beat. You see his eyes close tightly, scrunching his face up.

A laugh bubbles up in your throat but your pokerface plays its game on your face. He speaks up, "Lovely time, lovely dinner, lovely house, but I think we'll have to be the first to leave...Not feeling all so well, that's all."

Another polite smile danced on his face as he went to stand, pushing his chair out and yours. You stand and collect your things, slipping your phone back into your pocket.

His friend, the one with the mohawk, claps him on his back and walks him out as you wave to the others. The two of you say your goodbyes and walk into your car, John driving.

As both the car and the house doors close, John pulls you into him over the center control of the car, tongue slipping into your mouth, lapping up your sweetness. "You need to turn it down...please, Darling..."

You look at him, eyes a bit wide in confusion as you dig for your phone.

It was turned all the way up. Must've happened when you slid it into your pocket...whoops.

"Let's get home, I think you need that." You say, a nasty grin on your face.

[tokiwarcube]

Whether reader is a fan or works with Dethklok in some way, if they were trying to keep a relationship a secret from the public and even the other band members (at least for a month or so) who do you think would be the best and worst member of Dethklok at sneaking around with reader? Like for secret makeout sessions and dates, or sneaking in and out of rooms at night and in the morning, etc; whose the one whose only gonna make it a couple hours cus they can't keep a pokerface with you in the same room as them vs the whole month, and everyone is actually shocked they never noticed?

This was such a blast to work on -- took this one with me to noodle at on my trip, and finished finally finished up back home! Enjoy!

+ Charles as well, because I said so <3

1.) Charles

Charles is such an obvious choice for the number one spot here — while his eyes do get notably soft around you, there are certain… benefits to working with five, easily distracted dumbasses. If you two already work together, then really, there isn’t much to worry about.

But if you don’t? Well, that becomes a little bit harder. If they get even the inkling that you two are something more — even if its as some offhanded joke — they’re never going to let it go. They probably won’t blabber about the two of you to the media, but that’s really only because they don’t do media.

But truly, Charles’ composure is like no other: you could be perched pretty on his lap in his office, and the second he hears footsteps you’ll be back in your own seat — and no matter how frazzled you are, his calm is always enough to sway curious minds.

10/10, no notes.

Pickles the Drummer

Pickles is a bit of a mixed bag, but overall, he’s pretty good at keeping your relationship under wraps! You two have such a good dynamic within your relationship, with such an even back and forth of playfulness that really, it’s hard for outsiders to actually distinguish it from his usual banter. He pokes so much fun at you, and vice versa, that it never really seems like you’re getting special treatment in front of the guys.

And believe me, he loves getting a bit handsy just as much as the next guy. Or… maybe a bit more. But he can keep it in his pants until you’re behind closed doors… and a casual hug here and there can easily be blamed on the alcohol. He’s pretty good at redirecting the guys when they start prodding a bit too much into what exactly you guys are to one another.

The biggest risk to y’all getting exposed, however, is his jealous streak. It doesn’t take too much to set him off, and the spiral he goes on is a bit too deep to be considered an entirely platonic reaction.

8/10, surprisingly good at the game, but falls apart quickly under certain circumstances.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

His ranking here might be controversial, but I think if you already work together, or are at least spend time together regularly, he’s capable of keeping your relationship a secret for a good while — and only partially because of his reputation.

You two were likely friends long before you entered a relationship, so from the guys’ point of view, its not unusual for him to perk up when you enter the room. And even before you started dating, he was a bit of a flirt. As such, he has a good bit of leeway in public, or even around the boys with that! I mean, he’s Skwisgaar Skwigelf — of course he’s eyefucking you at the dinner table. Of course he’s flirting with you, leaning into your space, and calling you all these pretty names. It’d be weirder if he stopped doing all of that, honestly. The biggest red flag is when he stops bringing people back, though. Now that really catches people’s attention, and makes them start second guessing what you guys really are to one another.

Being a fan complicates things a bit more, though. As I’ve said time and time again, relationships are exceedingly rare for Skwisgaar, and so having to keep the only real one he’s ever had a complete secret is really hard for him! Because as a fan, he can’t really bring you around all the time, or flirt too heavy in public without raising a few brows. This all becomes especially hard once he starts getting acclimated to your sweeter, more innocent touches. He just wants to be close to you, and he can’t really do that in public.

7/10, benefits from how slow-burn you were, but fumbles it with his newfound desire for emotional intimacy.

William Murderface

Honestly, I think he would take a bit of offense to keeping the relationship a secret. You’ve gotta have a pretty good reason for it to keep it from hurting his feelings.

Once you get him through that, he actually has quite a bit of fun with it! But… he is painfully obvious in his affections, contrary to what he thinks. He has a lot of trouble spewing his average level of vitriol at you once he comes to terms with the depth of his affections, and there’s not a single person on earth who couldn’t pick up on that change. When you’ve built your career — and really, your life — on being a dick, even the smallest bit of softness stands out like a flare in the night. It might take people a little bit to pick apart his actual affection for you from the intermittent flattery he throws at people, but once it’s pinpointed, it’s pretty damn hard to miss.

He also lacks some situational awareness… by which I mean when you’re making out, his entire world narrows onto you. So if there’s even a microscopic chance that you could be walked in on, it’s up to you to be the aware one.

And while he can sneak you in and out of his room decently… he isn’t exactly subtle the morning after. He might as well lean back with a smoke in his hand, at this rate… no, wait— that’s exactly what he does. Like Toki, his primary saving grace falls back onto how the band and media just… refuse to take him seriously. Poor man.

5/10, but through little effort of his own.

Toki Wartooth

Listen, Toki is about as subtle as a brick through the window. He doesn’t really get your reasoning behind the secrecy in the first place, but to his credit, he will try for your sake… however, its still painfully obvious that you’re not exactly platonic. He’s liable to let some sweet pet-names slip, and while he’s fairly touchy with friends, he absolutely clings to you more than most.

He is, however, alarmingly good at sneaking around with you. And he’s gotten damn-good at stealing kisses in the microcosm of time where you aren’t being watched — if anything, this becomes his own game to see how much he can get away with before you two get caught.

His one saving grace is that his bandmates (and the media) don’t really take him seriously. He could be planning your wedding on live TV, complete with finances and documents, and a single refutation on your end could dispel every single accusation lobbied at the two of you.

4/10, but only through sheer luck.

Nathan Explosion

Listen: Nathan thinks he’s fantastic at hiding a relationship… but Nathan in love is a completely different person. It’s painfully obvious that he’s got something for you, and frankly, the guys were already suspicious when he was still in the crushing stage. He’s softer around you, he actually listens to your opinions and what you have to say… and once you start dating, you’ll notice how his hands trail after you a bit when you leave the room, too. He’ll deny the accusations when his bandmates start prodding, but of course, they see through him pretty damn fast. He’s down abysmal for you.

Not to mention, it’s also borderline impossible to miss him in a hallway, Mr. Frankenfeet, so sneaking in and out of his room always has to be a solo endeavor.

And well, he doesn’t really think before speaking… or punching, for that matter — so if one person starts talking shit about you, the cat will be pretty much out of the bag.

2/10, for effort.

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

"Do you require assistance?" Phantom perked up at the mans voice. Red Robin was the guy multiple ghosts had recommended to him even though he was still alive. Okay, so they kinda did it in a half joking manner, but Phantom was desperate!

The nine year old came out from the shadows and could immediately feel the man in front of him cataloging everything about his appearance. Wierd. But he had dealt with Weirder. Besides, he was glowing, so he guessed the human had a right to be curious. "I heard you were really good with machines."

Red Robin looked somewhat tense, like he was ready to fight if need be. Why does everyone wanna fight him? He's nine!

Phantom quickly brought out a little silver sphere with an OwO face from his bag and quickly began speaking, "This is my friend Livvi, she started acting wierd a while back and I haven't been able to fix her."

To his credit, Red didn't attack him. He just looked gobsmacked. "You came out to Gotham, in the middle of the night and tracked down a vigilante to ask for tech support?"

"Livvi is different!" He fumed, "She's my friend!"

A sigh escaped from the mans lips and Phantom looked up to see him pinching the bridge of his nose, "Okay, you're probably not going to go away until I fix her. Just promise me you'll try to be safer."

Phantom hummed as if contemplating, "I'll try."

With that, the vigilante took Livvi from him and began working on her from the blanket Phantom had laid out. Red Robin began to look more and more curious about Livvi as he worked on her. He even took out one of Livvis ectoplasm powerbanks to examine it more thoroughly. "Can you explain to me what problems she's been having?"

The kid bit his lower lip, clearly worried about the little robot, "Shes having trouble maintaining flight and producing shields. Her speech sometimes comes out glitch or warped despite me not finding anything wrong with her voice box or programming. A few times she's just turned off mid flight and dropped."

The man looked thoughtful for a few seconds before asking, "Have you ever heard of the Lazarus Pit?"

"I've heard of Lazarus, but I don't know what it is. I've only ever heard of it in passing. Why?" The ghost was genuinely confused by the change in topic

"Can I text a friend about this?"

"I don't see why not. The more help Livvi gets the faster she'll get better right?" The bird wasted no time activating his coms and whispering into it telling some unknown people about "an unknown glowing meta child with futuristic tech that runs on Lazarus water"

Within the next ten minutes a guy dressed as a bat landed on the rooftop alongside a boy around his age dressed like a trafic light and scowling as if he had just been told that he was grounded from ever having ice cream again. The big goth dude introduced himself as batman and offered him a lollipop. "I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers." Phantom said seriously, "Unless its Halloween."

Batman...well he didn't smile exactly but he didn't seem angry. "Do you know where you're parents are?"

"No. But thats okay. They don't like me."

Batman maintained a cool pokerface, "why don't they like you?"

"I don't remember. I think I knew when I was older-"

"Older?" The other boy interrupted, "Is this not your true age?"

Phantom pouted at him, any hopes he had of making a friend he didn't construct himself were flung out the window, "Yeah, but I don't remember it. Appearently I ate a time god and lost six-ish years from absorbing his powers."

There was a beat silence, then: "You ate a time god?!" Red Robin looked horrifed

"In my defense, I have no memory of what was happening at the time. All I know is that the place i used to live is in ruins and I'm dead."

[invye]

So my friend has me watching One Piece again which means I am back on my Mihawk brainrot--

Therefore let me introduce you to the list of hobbies I headcannon Mihawk to practice when he's sailing from A to B or taking a bit of time off in his goth castle:

cooking

reading

gardening

embroidery

wood carving

soap making

Extensive and rambly collection of thoughts on all of these under the cut:

Cooking

Reading

My man lives alone, of course he can cook. And he enjoys it. He is the type who technically can eat anything and everything no matter the taste as long as it gives him the nutrition he needs, but ever since he started cooking more regularly he's caught himself getting more picky about the quality and taste of his food. This becomes a problem when his unbidden guests (read: Perona dragging Zoro along) decide to help with the cooking duties... Mihawk has to go through a unexpectedly difficult phase of adapting to liking food that he hasn't made himself exactly fitting to his own taste again.

(Also Zoro on vegetable cutting duty leaves a Mess™. Mihawk makes him scrub the entire kitchen back to his standards after the first time, and while Zoro at first only marginally improves on the not making a mess part, he significantly improves on the cleaning the mess part. [Mihawk's standards for a clean kitchen are exactly as high as Sanji's, a fact which serves Zoro well after his return.])

Gardening

Mihawk enjoys his books. Nothing like a nice evening of quiet reading with a good glass of wine. He reads while travelling too, because lets be honest, there is only so much wistful staring at the horizon he can do and only so many naps he can take while he sails Hitsugibune from one end of the world to the other. At this point he has worked his way halfway through the library of his castle. Which does not stop him from buying new books. He's surprised that it still isn't a commonly known fact about him, with how often he has caused near heart attacks in poor bookshop owners when they are faced with the World's Greatest Swordsman having appeared in their shop to buy a book?? But he supposes it's one of these "no one will ever believe you" kind of situations.

Mihawk also has a lady two islands over from Kuraigana who supplies him with romance novels. She wisely knows not to comment, but he will never forget her wild grin the first time she saw him reaching for a queer novel. The woman seems to pride herself in always having a new queer story available whenever he stops by, and Mihawk has stubbornly decided to pokerface his way through their interactions forever and ever.

The library has significantly grown since Mihawk moved in. It's sorted by genre now. He'll never let Shanks in there so he doesn't have to admit just how much and what kind of romance he's reading.

Embroidery

Roses. Mihawk has an aesthetic and he commits to it 100%. He keeps the most immaculate rose garden Shanks has ever seen, and Shanks has seen plenty of pretty places. At least half the different species of rose bushes are actually gifts from Shanks after he's seen the beginnings of the garden the first time he visited (read: dropped by unannounced) Kuraigana after it became known Mihawk had claimed the island. So now, years later, Mihawk has probably the most extensive collection of rose species in all colours, shapes and sizes in all the seas.

To Zoro's chagrin, the garden is set up like a maze. It's not a big maze. Even the rose bushes Mihawk has allowed to grow tall during his absences barely even reach higher than Mihawk's shoulders. No reasonable person could ever get lost in it. It quickly becomes apparent that Zoro is not a reasonable person.

'Hidden' within the rose 'maze' there are some dedicated patches of ground making up a kitchen garden. Mihawk got tired of doing supply runs every couple weeks, so he grows his own vegetables and herbs (healing purposes included) and even started to grow the spices he prefers.

(To his own annoyance that garden is not able to support feeding three mouths instead of just one, so the supply runs are back to their old frequency until he makes Zoro and Perona spend a week helping him extend the garden. By year two Kuraigana is mostly self-sufficient again. [By year three Mihawk doesn't know what to do with his extra produce anymore so he decides to actually host Shanks' crew for once instead of just Shanks on his lonesome. They are surprisingly respectful of his space, he might even get the utterly insane idea to do this again.])

Wood carving

You have seen his clothes. Everyone has seen his clothes. You know the chances of finding a good, waterproof coat that not just fits perfectly but also exactly reflects your style? They're abysmal. And even if you found the perfect piece of clothing for you, it needs to be properly washed and maintained if you want it to last longer than a storm or two. Also, professional hand embroidery costs a ton of money. So yes, Mihawk made all the little embroidered details himself. At this point he doubts anyone even remembers how his coat looked back when he bought it and before he had time to put a needle to it. Well, anyone who isn't Shanks. Because Mihawk distinctly remembers Shanks staring when he first showed up to a duel with his brand new coat and then staring again after Mihawk was done with it.

Embroidery is more of a winter hobby, when the garden doesn't need him, and he feels the urge to keep his hands moving. For a while he considered teaching Zoro to give him more of a feeling for fine control, but he quickly discarded the idea in favour of helping Perona with her clothes making adventures.

Mihawk never thought or intended for wood carving to become an actual hobby at all. It started out with him finding himself having sailed into a middle of a rather big reef in an attempt to evade social interaction with Vice Admiral Garp after he spotted his ship on the horizon in the early days of Mihawk's Warlord-ship. The reef had plenty rock and coral formations just closely hiding beneath the water surface, interseeded with sand banks that shifted with the tides, which any ship that lays even slightly deeper in the water than Hitsugibune would not be able to navigate. Mihawk relied on his Haki and superior eye-sight to spot all the obstacles and even with all that it was difficult to sail Hitsugibune safely. Then the winds turned on him rather suddenly when he crossed a climate barrier, bringing along heavy cloud cover and fog, and Mihawk decided he needed to make note of the rock formations somehow to not run into them after all as visibility pretty much approached zero. Being not at all talented in map drawing, Mihawk used Kogatana to carve the map into a random scrap of plank instead. It served him well (he sucessfully avoided Garp and there was not a single new scratch on Hitsugibune) and it kind of just became a thing he did. He now has a small collection of carved maps of mostly reefs and other dangerous waters he uses for hiding and evading purposes. And if he carves the occasional bird or other animal when he's bored out at sea, no one needs to know.

Soap making

It's another hobby Mihawk stumbled upon mostly by coincidence. One day during a supply run he got annoyed by how expensive soap is. The next day he had everything he needed to make it for much less money. A week later he had a year's worth supply of soap sorted out. Shanks asks how Mihawk manages to always smell of roses, even when he has been gone from Kuraigana for weeks. Mihawk says nothing while Shanks' crew mercilessly teases their captain for always getting up and close into Hawkeyes' personal space to even know that. They are smart enough to know not to comment on Mihawk allowing Shanks this close in the first place.

[karamad]

mean!aeri x reader

cw: suggestive, mean aeri, degradation

have this draft i never finished😍

‼️MINORS AND MEN DNI‼️

who could have guessed that having a a fight with your ex would lead to you having the most mind-blowing sex ever? surely not you!

while aeri was over at your place to collect her things after your nasty break-up (that happened simply because she thought you spent too much time with your best friend, minjeong) you were walking around your room nervously. it's been 3 weeks since you've last talked to aeri before she dumped you over text. you could hear her aggressively pack her things in the living room.

maybe if you just stayed in the comforts of your room she'd be gone soon. but oh boy were you wrong. hearing aeris footsteps come closer to your room you prepared for the worst, you've accepted your fate, but to your surprise she didn't even look you in the eyes. she didn't even acknowledge you standing there and just started packing more things from your room.

you were speechless. first she dumps you over text after dating for 2 years without telling you why, and now she won't even look you in the eye? needless to say, you were pissed. at her and her attitude towards this whole situation SHE got you into.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" was the first thing aeri heard leave your mouth after those long agonizing 2 weeks. she simply scoffed "watch your mouth."

"watch my mouth?? how about you explain why you dumped me over text like I'm just some side bitch of yours? what the fuck is that all about?!" you semi-yelled, getting into her personal space. you couldn't hold back anymore, cornering her into the wall. "i gave you every part of me, i gave you all my love and undying support and this is the thanks i get? after two years? and now you cant even face me?" you started tearing up.

aeri however maintained a pokerface. oh how you hated it. just as you were about to give up, not expecting her to say anything to your frustration, you turned around and started walking away. well that was the plan at least!

aeri was quick to grab your arm and switch positions with you, cornering you into the wall and staring into your eyes with an emotion you couldn't pinpoint. anger? frustration? lust ? "why do you have to run your mouth? didn't i teach you any manners you dumb slut?"

there it was. slut. oh you were gone.. your legs were about to give out before aeri pressed her body into yours, making you gasp in surprise. she simply chuckled "still a whore for my attention even after i left you hm?" you couldn't talk, you were dumbfounded. all you could muster was a tiny nod. yes, she broke up with you, but oh was she hot when pissed. so why not push her buttons even more?

you tried pushing her away, muttering a small "fuck off". it was quiet but she heard it. instead of letting you push her away, she pressed her body into yours even more, pulling her hand up to your neck squeezing it lightly. your breath hitched. you couldn't give her more reactions. you stared at her blankly.

"fine, have it your way." she turned around about to walk away. this wasn't your plan! quickly grabbing and turning her around to face you once again "no please im sorry aeri" you looked at her full of regret. she simply put her hand to your cheek, gently caressing it. "still just my stupid baby hm?" she cooed at you, before slapping you. hard.

your cheek burned. you looked at her in surprise and fear. she's never hit you before, but for some reason, you couldn't find it in you to care much. "please" you whisper. "please what baby?"

"please make me yours again."

she smirked, before pulling you into a kiss, pushing you further into the wall and coaxing a moan out of you and pushing her tongue inside your mouth. you held onto her shoulders, not even bothering to fight for dominance in the kiss. you searched for one of her hands and pulled it up to your neck. pulling away from the kiss shortly just to look into her eyes pleadingly. what better way to get her to go crazy on you?

[whydousernamesevenexist]

@rosekillermicrofic 2nd May: Dread (it's like 03:15 in the morning and I probably have a fever lol)

Cw: mention of homophobia

Exposed

Word count: 798

Shit, shit, shit.

Barty frantically rummaged through his backpack. It wasn't there. His journal. Not a diary, mind you, that was for lovesick teenage girls.

Although Barty couldn't even be sure if he wasn't a lovesick teenage girl anymore.

Ever since he realised his feelings for his best friend two weeks ago, it's been eating him alive. Every waking thought, every dream, was filled with him. His Evan, his Rosie. And Barty began analysing every interaction with Evan. To be honest, he wasn't even trying to figure out if Evan likes him or not, he was sure Evan didn't. He was analysing his own behaviour to be sure he wasn't too obvious.

That's why he got the journal, too. Because his head felt like it was going to burst with all the running thoughts.

And now it wasn't there.

Who could've taken it? Or did Barty forget it somewhere?

He tried to summon it, but no such luck.

He sighed. He better get to lunch before Evan and Regulus get suspicious. Maybe he can look for the journal afterwards.

He managed to eat lunch without Evan noticing something was wrong with him. Regulus had some errands to run, so he wasn't at lunch.

But then he saw them - Mulciber and Snape. They had his journal. And they were looking this way.

No. Please.

He was immediately filled with overwhelming dread. And shame, too.

These two read about his deepest secret, and there was no chance they'd keep it to themselves.

Just what were they planning to do? Expose him, that's for sure. But how? When? Will they humiliate him in front of the whole school, or just Evan?

Well, it didn't matter much. If Evan found out… Barty wasn't sure what he'd do.

Shit. They were heading here.

What should he do? Ignore them?

"Hey, Crouch!" Snape yelled, an evil smirk plastered on his face.

"Lost something?" Mulciber laughed, waving the journal.

"Give it back," Barty pleaded quietly.

Of course, they didn't. Mulciber barked out a laugh and held the journal in the air, just high enough so Barty couldn't reach it.

"I didn't think you'd be bent, Crouch. You surprise me," Mulciber sneered, "is it the daddy issues?"

"Wait, Barty's gay?" Evan asked, surprised.

"Bisexual," Barty muttered. "Doesn't matter. Give it back."

Mulciber just laughed.

"Hey, he's right. Give him the journal back," Evan said firmly, stepping forward to reach for the journal.

Mulciber just smirked and lifted the book higher, out of Evan's reach.

"Wanna know who he's gay for, Rosier?" Snape laughed.

Something like hurt flashed in Evan's eyes, before he schooled his features into a practiced pokerface.

"I believe Barty will tell me about his crush when he's ready," he replied icily.

"Aww, you're not even the smallest bit interested?" Mulciber mocked. "That must've hurt, didn't it, Crouch?"

"Shut up," was all Barty could say. His breathing quickened, and he was sure everyone could hear the beating of his heart.

"It must've hurt, to know your little crush doesn't even care it's him, right?" Snape laughed. "Here, take it," he handed Barty the journal with a condescending smirk. "I don't think I could read one more disgustingly sweet line of your hopeless pining over poor Rosier over here."

Barty swallowed his tears, grabbed the journal, and bolted out of the Great Hall. He didn't dare to check Evan's reaction. He was sure it'd break his heart.

The astronomy tower.

He ran upstairs, and then sat down, pressed against the cold wall. It was a bit grounding.

Tears were streaming down his cheeks, and his breathing was quick, ragged. He was clutching the journal tightly to his chest.

He heard quick footsteps. Evan appeared at the top of the staircase.

"B? Thank Merlin I found you," Evan sighed, out of breath. "I was worried you'd do something stupid."

"Just leave me alone, Ev," Barty sobbed out. "You don't have to rub it in."

"So it's true, then?" Evan ignored his request. "You really like me?"

"Yeah. Sorry." Barty replied and hid his face in his knees. "Now go away, will you? I'm already humiliated as it is. I'm sorry for making it weird between us, and for making you uncomfortable. We don't have to be friends anymore. But please, don't tease me about it even more," he choked out.

"Oh for the love of- come here," Evan sighed, exasperated. He sat across from Barty and pulled him into a hug.

"I like you too, alright? Honestly, I can't believe you didn't figure it out earlier, I'm not exactly the most subtle person."

Barty looked up at him, searching for a trace of joke in Evan's face. There was none.

He smiled slowly.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered.

"Of course," Evan smiled, and leaned in.

[sevendeadlyheadcanons]

The Seven Deadly Sins when they give hugs

Idk what this is i can’t lie

Meliodas

-Firm hugger. Very tight squeeze

-Hugs his friends if he knows they need it “Bring it in big guy”

-Will hug in public but loves to proper snuggle in private

-If someone he doesn’t know hugs him he’ll just stand there pokerfaced

-He’s very warm being a demon with fire abilities so he’s nice to lay on

-Always initiates group hugs between all the sins

-Only gropes when other people are around as a territorial thing. When he’s alone he will go all soppy.

Diane

-SHE IS SO CUDDLY

-Publicly, privately she is not afraid to snuggle!!!

-She hugs everyone while greeting them. She also loves to kiss everyone on the cheeks platonically.

-When she is big she likes to put smaller people on her neck or shoulder and let them koala onto her, or hold them to her face so they can cup it.

-She also loves holding people in her big hands

-When she’s small she loves to still use her giant strength to pick people up and twirl them.

-She hugs King a lot because he’s so small and smells so fruity

Ban

-Not a hugger in public but in private?

-He will be the little spoon but not if you ask him to. Only if you “coincidentally fall into that position” while hugging. He won’t admit he likes it either

-He loves having his hair stroked or stroking other people’s hair

-He hugs Meliodas all the time when drunk but coincidentally forgets it when he sobers up.

-If you run up to him and hug him he’ll probably pat your head or back

-Before Elaine was revived he would hug a pillow and pretend it was her

King

-Denies being a hugger but he LOVES THEM

-He’s very awkward and doesn’t know what to do if he’s being hugged. Like where does he put his hands?

-It also depends on how close he is to the person hugging him. If he knows them very well he’s very confident on what to do but if he’s not well acquainted with them he’ll be apprehensive

-Imagining Diane forcing him to hug Howzer. The most awkward bro hug ever.

-He is very soft and warm and his clothes always smell very fresh.

-May revert to old man form and repel whoever is hugging him.

Gowther

-Pre getting his memories and emotions he’s very uncomfortable to cuddle. He doesn’t know when to let go and can’t naturally figure out what to do with himself

-He will pat your head and go “pat pat” and simply wrap his arms around you in a way that either is too light to be a good hug or too firm that you nearly die from lack of oxygen

-When he does get his emotions back though he is SUCH A HUGGER

-He’s not particularly comfy to lay on and snuggle but that look on his face makes it worth enduring

-He will hug EVERYONE if he is feeling excited!!! A little ball of energy

-He still doesn’t quite understand the appropriate times to hug someone and the intensity it should be so he’ll just be like “HAI BAN GOOD MORNING :3” and rugby tackle him into a cuddle thinking it was a normal human greeting

Merlin

-Doesn’t necessarily hate hugging just doesn’t do it frequently

-She hugs more out of comfort more than simply because she can

-If she needs comforting she’ll stand outside Meliodas and Elizabeth’s room in the doorframe like the “mum i just threw up” meme and wait for Elizabeth to initiate the hug

-She does privately like a good hug. Sometimes she’ll get somebody (probably Escanor) to come into her lab and let her sit in his lap while she does her research “for science”

-Probably conjures up a tamed demonic beast to cuddle on the down low so that nobody sees her vulnerable

Escanor

-Once again an awkward man. He doesn’t quite know what to do with himself

-Although he is less awkward than King because hugging is a human custom he grew up with whereas King just sort of found out it was a thing one day

-He does love cuddling but he has to be close to the people/person doing it otherwise he gets quite flustered

-Definitely cuddles a pillow at night to help him fall asleep

-Probably very touch starved.

Elizabeth

-Loves cuddling other girls. With boys it feels awkward to her but girls? Just feels natural

-She doesn’t even flinch when Meliodas gropes her mid hug anymore because she just expects it, although she hates it and wishes she could have just one moment of intimacy with him which doesn’t get sexual

-She does like to hug Gowther too though. She just finds him very sweet once he got his emotions back and sees him like a little boy.

-She’s very motherly towards her friends and as soon as she sees them struggling she cuddles them and gets the whatever they need

-Hugs are just very natural to her (because unlike everyone else she has Bartra and was loved as a child oop-)

Elaine

-Doesn’t quite understand the human hype of cuddling

-Thinks it’s something between family and lovers and that’s all

-When someone else cuddles her that’s not Ban or King she gets confused but will put a hand on their back and comfort them anyway

-She does love hugging animals though. She’ll hug Hawk and Oslow a lot and will pick up random cats she sees in the streets (much to the cats dismay)

-She loves hugging Ban because he’s so much larger than her and she loves being Engulfed by Large Man

I hope you guys are having a great day 💙

[telleroftime]

King of the Koopas ||| Bowser x Reader

Headcanons

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Some fluffy headcanons for Bowser inspired by his character model in the new Super Mario movie. (Because I paid a bit too much attention to him when I first watched it).

Pairing: Bowser x Gender Neutral ! Reader

Relationship: Romantic

Tone: Fluff

Warnings: Spoilers for the movie if you count description of Bowser's character model as a spoiler. There's nothing beyond that.

Bowser Masterlist

A/N: I may have one group project and one coursework due this week, alongside a seminar on Monday and an exam on Tuesday - buuuut my love for Bowser prevails.

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Bowser has multiple small scars all over his body - from his legs to his arms - all from his previous battles and any other accidents he's been in. Notably, there are a couple of small marks near the right edge of his jaw. They're mostly unnoticeable, however there is a pale shine when they catch the light, especially firelight and any hot glow emanating from the falling streams of lava.

Bowser had forgotten about them. To him, they are just one of the many cuts and bruises he's gained from fighting. They're just insignificant parts of his body. Not only that, he wouldn't see them often unless he was to look into a reflective surface, which realistically he wouldn't do that commonly unless he needs to boost his confidence and pep talk himself.

But, once you notice, you won't forget.

He wouldn't know how to react when you kiss him there.

At first, he wouldn't assume much of it. A kiss is a kiss and he will take anything he can get from you with how touch-starved he is. From your gentle caresses to your undivided attention. He'd revel in the way you tilt and angel his face, and will get all flustered and smitten and every other love related word.

However, even through his heart-eyes, he would take note of you kissing that one spot if you chose to make it a habit. It would take a while, but he would pick up on it and he'd eventually ask why you choose to kiss that spot every time, only to be surprised when he finds out it's all because he has scars there.

He would completely melt if you were to kiss any other scar on his body, especially any on his arms where he can see you.

Tough-guy who? Not Bowser. Not when he's with you.

And there would be no poker-face. He's bad enough at masking his emotions as is. If you were to look up at his face, you would see him grinning like a lovestruck teenager.

Oh, and speaking of shiny and reflective things: his scales reflect light. A lot.

The ombre of green scales on his shoulders have an almost iridescent sheen to them. They reflect the environment very well, glowing golden in the firelight and purple in the night sky. Some of the scales are glossier than others, and there's a pattern of mismatched reflectiveness.

And sometimes the scales look like scattered stars around his body.

Because of their position, it would be another aspect of himself Bowser doesn't really pay attention to. Not only are they just like any other scales to him, and he has plenty of those, but he wouldn't pay much attention to the appearance of his shoulders and neck. I doubt it would even be something his eyes flicker to when looking at himself in the mirror.

Which is why you mentioning them would throw him completely off course.

His eyes would be wide, and he'd do his best to look at the scales on his shoulders, angling his head to see what you see. He wouldn't understand why you find them so interesting, and would be too stunned to fully take in your explanations if you chose to compliment him.

You find his scales fascinating? But they're just scales... And you say they shine like stars? But diamonds can do the same thing...

He wouldn't understand at first, until he realises you like them because they're beautiful in your eyes and they're a part of him.

And then cue the tail wagging, because he would be the giddiest Koopa in his entire kingdom.

And another thing - if him lacking a pokerface wasn't obvious enough - his eyes glow with his emotions. Though it's mainly visible with ones of wrath and anger, they do glow. And there are stages to it. They go from his normal crimson coloured eyes and carefully climb up levels of brightness. They become a copper orange and increase in saturation to mimic the tones of molten rock.

It's almost like he takes the phrase 'seeing red' literally.

It's that glow that lets you know whether your attempts to calm him down work. If you coo at him, gently stroking and patting his arms to place him back in reality, you'd know of its effectiveness almost immediately. If it works, that dangerous glow would sizzle out, and he'd look at you with the most endearing eyes, completely forgetting what made him so angry.

There'd still be smoke puffing out of his nose, but the absence of the glow would tell you that he sees you, and that he's in control of himself.

If your attempts to calm him down don't work, you'd know to give him some space and wait patiently for him to calm himself down. He would, eventually, and he'd come straight to you.

It's also what lets you know if something you said upset him. Not like he'd ever direct his anger at you, though. It's always good to know.

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Bowser Masterlist