#cause ultimately i like being but i know for a lot of people it’s less than - so hell if there’s anything i can do to make it easier

[zero-a]

people will go all "just be yourself and love yourself! :)" and then go "if you don't act the way i want, you gotta reprogram your entire way of thinking then reach into the very core of who you are and what makes you you, discard it, and replace it with this better, friendlier, more empathetic version that's coincidentally far more convenient for me to deal with than any other possible compromise we can make that you can do for me but doesn't stretch your mind to nothing but thin bands of what you'd consider 'You' :))))))"

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

[communistkenobi]

prefacing this post by saying that I am a big enjoyer of “this site has poor reading comprehension” jokes on here, but I think there needs to be better and more precise language about this sort of thing that isn’t bound up in like, the ability to parse text, which is always going to be tied to class and ability. I’m not saying every joke about this site not being able to read is classist/ableist, and I don’t think anyone is making any grand ideological proclamations when dunking on a stupid reply to their post, but the backing behind that kind of joke is, ultimately, “haha you’re an adult that can’t read.”

And aside from some potentially troubling baggage, I don’t even think that’s what’s going on in the first place! I think the more precise (but admittedly less catchy) term for “poor reading comprehension” is something along the lines of chronic incuriosity, or a rigid adherence to normative thinking. if you see a post saying, for example, women shouldn’t have to wear makeup to be viewed as human beings, and the comments are filled with “actually you can just wear some winged eyeliner and foundation it’s not that hard to wear makeup and also women love makeup stop gatekeeping,” what is happening is not a failure to comprehend the text in front of them. these responses are not made in ignorance, as in, they are not the result of a failure to understand the sentence they just read. these responses stem from a refusal to challenge base assumptions, and reacting emotionally to the mental dissonance this causes (probably something along the lines of “I think of myself as progressive but this person is challenging something I like doing and this threatens my weak political instincts”). These people are rejecting the opportunity to analyse the habits and behaviours they previously assumed to be non-political (eg, wearing makeup), and then externalising that rejection as a defence mechanism. That is not a failure to read a sentence, that is a demand to be intellectually coddled, which is very different.

Again, I’m sure people are already aware of this. I enjoy being a hater, and having people constantly swarm your posts with ridiculous and hysterical replies is incredibly frustrating (speaking from a lot of personal experience here lol). This is also not me saying you have to do the coddling and explain to them that they’re being ideologically incurious about the world, you don’t have an obligation to do any of that. but I think framing a person’s failure to be curious about their own biases as “they don’t know how to read” situates the problem as an issue of ignorance or lack of technical skill, instead of the much more prevalent problem of people refusing to be challenged or reconsider things in their life they didn’t think about before. Calling these kinds of people ignorant is just letting them off easy

[collaredkittyboy]

Well it's come up multiple times today so I'll make a post about it.

I think the popularization of the word "twink" has ultimately been really bad for people in general.

I know it's hard to track the positive and negative effects of language but I don't think it's hard to see how creating a word for a group of people wherein the most consistent qualifying trait is "being skinny" is healthy for people's self image. Obviously people have lots of ideas about what it means to be a twink- gay, lacking body hair, feminine, beautiful, young, white- but the most consistent descriptor I've seen is "skinny." Hell, it's even a body type on Grindr; the size below "average."

So it kind of functions as a code word in the gay community: anyone can say that they're only interested in twinks and they don't have to look shallow by saying they only like skinny guys. It's such an accepted attitude that no one really bats an eye when they hear it.

I'm not even going to get into how it's become part of the larger issue of people turning "top" and "bottom" into gender roles 2.0, but that is closely related, because people with any internalized homophobia can look at a skinny, feminine man and turn off their fag alarms by viewing him as a woman or not a "real" man, and it makes twinks more acceptable to society at large.

No, ignoring all of that, one of the biggest issues is that gay men are taught by society that they are only attractive while they are skinny. Just having the label "twink" reminds a boy that people are looking at his body and judging it. There were countless times when I was growing up that people would tell me, "You're such a twink," or argue about whether or not I qualified as a twink because I had body hair. People around you, unpromted, judge your body and give you a label based on it, and that label has a large influence on whether or not you're seen as objectively attractive. I know many other gay people who say they wish they were a twink so they could be more attractive to guys.

So think, you have all these kids growing up being told whether or not they qualify as a twink, and then we have the gay community as a whole where it's completely acceptable to say you're only attracted to twinks. I think its because of all of this pressure to be a twink (in other words, to have a below average weight) that many of the gay people that I interact with struggle with a negative body image or eating disorders.

I mean, people talk about "twink death" like it's an actual event that makes a gay man much less attractive, and no one thinks that, maybe, it's harmful to tell a guy that the very day he stops being young and thin and pretty, he will stop being attractive and celebrated?

I'm not qualified to speak on fatphobia in physical queer spaces because I don't have the ability to frequent them where I live, but I can't imagine that these aren't issues at social gatherings as well. I also can't speak on my own experiences with weight discrimination because so far in my life I have had a naturally thin body, but I have experienced a lot of outside pressure to be thin that have caused me to pick up unhealthy eating habits to reduce my weight in fear that I could become fat later on. Thankfully that is something that I've mostly been able to work past. I'm not an expert, but idk, I just wanted to rant on my silly tumblr blog.

Obviously it's impossible for a word to be inherently bad. I'm not trying to imply that saying "twink" is a magic word with evil powers. Obviously the real issues at play here are fatphobia and harmful beauty standards and body shaming. But in my opinion, the popular use of the word twink has made it much easier and acceptable to express fatphobia, etc, in the gay community by turning "skinny person" into a "type of guy that you should try to be so you can be attractive."

[diluc33rpm]

What fundamentally matters to you?

[aesethewitch]

Ghosts 101

Spirit work has always been the ultimate base of my spiritual and magical practices. Some of my earliest clear memories are of encounters with spirits, and I’ve always had a talent for sensing them. In a horror movie setting, I’d be that person who gets the weird feeling in the hallway right before all the doors slam shut at once, feeling the shift in the air before whatever ghoul’s around makes its mischief.

I mention this right out of the gate so that you, the reader, know that most of what I know about ghosts (and spirits in general) comes from personal experience. Not books, not videos, not other people’s work. There’s a lot of UPG in this little essay. Just keep that in mind as you read.

If there’s something you disagree with or have different experiences with, I’m not surprised! Everything in the realm of spirits, including ghosts, can really only be theorized about. Disagreeing opinions, experiences, and theories are very, very welcome. Drop ‘em in the replies, reblogs, or my inbox. Or, if you want, make a post of your own and tag me in it. I want to see them!

Anyways, with that lengthy UPG disclaimer out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff.

What is a Ghost?

I think it’s important to note, though kind of obvious, that ghosts are a sub-category of spirit. All ghosts are spirits, but not all spirits are ghosts. But what is a ghost, exactly?

As with most things, theories differ. In general, ghosts are thought to be… well, dead people. Some folks think that ghosts are the soul, essence, or spirit of a person who has died. Others believe that ghosts are just a fragment of a person’s spirit. But I’ve also seen theories stating that ghosts aren’t really ghosts, they’re echoes or imprints of human energy that once existed in a place.

Then, there are folks who think ghosts don’t exist at all. I can’t really blame them; empirical, repeatable proof of ghosts is tough to get in order to be satisfying in a scientific way. The only reason I personally believe in ghosts is because I’ve had several encounters that can’t otherwise be explained. Plus, for me, it goes hand-in-hand with other types of spirit work. Ghosts being real just makes sense with the framework I use to engage with the world.

So, obviously, there isn’t one single, concrete answer as to what a ghost is. We can only theorize.

My Theories

My personal theory aligns more or less with one of the more common theories. I think that ghosts are the lingering spirits of living beings who have died. Note I say living beings — some people think that only humans can become ghosts, but I think that any living thing can become one. In the case of plants and trees, ghosts behave somewhat differently than animals; but that’s a whole other conversation to be had. For the sake of this post, I plan on focusing mainly on human ghosts.

The way I understand it, ghosts are the whole, complete essence of a person that lingers in the physical realm for a time after their physical body no longer functions. I believe there are also energetic imprints — energy left over from the living, often (but not always) caused and fueled by strong emotions and lingering ties of memory in a place. These imprints can seem like a haunting, but the key difference is that they aren’t sentient. They may echo when you call, but they won’t give answers that are intelligent or timely according to questions asked or stimulus provided by the living. Sort of like recording a ringing bell; playing the bell’s chime back doesn’t ring the bell again. It just plays the sound it knows.

Now, death does funny things to the mind. Depending on the circumstances of the death, a ghost might have full awareness that they were alive, have died, and are now a ghost. I find this is most common for people who died of old age and long-term diseases: people who knew they were nearing the end, for one reason or another.

Ghosts formed from more sudden deaths, on the other hand, are likelier to not know what happened. They may figure it out given time, or they may never learn the truth. As with most other things dealing with individuals, the exact circumstances vary. No two ghosts are exactly the same. Some people don’t become ghosts at all, I’ve found! They simply move on.

Another important aspect of my theories on ghosts is that I think they fade. Unless they’re continually tied to a space, fed a steady supply of energy, and purposely kept in the physical realm, I believe that they can’t sustain a form here. Without a physical body to keep the spirit, soul, consciousness, or whatever we are, a ghost is gradually pulled into the more ethereal side of things. The astral plane, the other side, the afterlife, et cetera; I’m not sure, personally, where they end up. Maybe it depends on what they were attached to in life, maybe it doesn’t. Who knows!

I think this is where I draw the distinction between ghosts and ancestor spirits. “Ancestor spirits,” in my practice, aren’t individual people from my past. Rather, they’re a sort of collective consciousness made up of all the people who came before me who are connected to me through familial, cultural, and blood ties. I like to believe that ghosts become part of that collective when they fade out of the physical world. All this is to say, ghosts are just people who are dead. They won’t be around forever unless they’re bound and kept “fed.”

On Hauntings

The first half of the things everyone wants to know is: How do we know when a ghost is actually present? It’s a good question, one that’s hotly debated in ghost hunting circles. For the sake of argument, I think we need to define the word haunting first.

To be clear, a haunting isn’t just when a ghost is present. A ghost just passing through or lingering for a little while doesn’t necessarily make a haunting. That would be better described as a presence. A haunting, in my opinion, is a long-term, sustained presence of a ghost or imprint.

And the first step to dealing with a haunting is to determine whether the place you’re in is actually haunted. You don’t have to have super sensitive psychic powers to detect the presence of ghosts. Some folks might have an easier time of it than others, but anyone can learn how to discern when a ghost is hanging around.

It’s important to note that commonly-reported signs of ghost presences and hauntings are also symptoms of other issues like mold, electrical issues, pressure changes, carbon monoxide, stress and anxiety, noisy neighbors, animals outside or in the walls (including bugs), sleep apnea or insomnia, and more. It’s important to consider mundane reasons before leaping to magical, spiritual, or ghostly ones.

With that in mind, let’s say that you’ve ruled out all the mundane possibilities, and you’re still left wondering whether that place is capital-H Haunted. How can you tell?

In my experience, there are a few signs that will stick out:

Disembodied sounds, such as voices, knocking, and walking

A pervasive chill or prickling feeling, particularly on parts of the body that are covered

A feeling of being touched, poked, or prodded

Visual disturbances like mist or shadows

Sudden smells that can’t be explained, such as perfume, tobacco, or food

Batteries in things like phones and cameras draining very quickly

Now, note that even with these signs, a lot of these things can happen with spirits that aren’t ghosts. The only way to know for absolutely sure that you’re dealing with a ghost and not a mischievous, physical-realm-poking non-human spirit is to make contact and ask.

My fellow sensitive individuals may experience other signs during a haunting. Depending on where your abilities lie, you might experience stronger sensations or detect signs of a haunting earlier than others who haven’t trained these senses.

What Causes a Haunting?

It’s hard to say. Some people (particularly ghost hunters with big TV shows who need to make those viewer numbers go up) say that ghosts stick around because they’re pissed off or had some tragedy befall them in life. Trauma ties them to their surroundings, trapping them between life and death as a specter, or something like that.

Honestly, all that tells me is that these guys are trying to sell you something (their show). I’ve met maybe two ghosts that were like that, and they had extremely good reasons for it. That’s not to say there aren’t traumatized ghosts out there; just that they aren’t nearly as common or the only explanation for a haunting.

I’m personally not sure what causes some ghosts to linger over others. I think it does partly have to do with emotion, but it may also have to do with the amount of energy the person had left when they died. For example, the ghost of my great-aunt faded within a couple weeks after she died, because she was old, tired, and ready. On the other hand, the ghost of a guy I went to school with who died in an accident a few years ago is still lingering on the train tracks where it happened. It’s an extremely individual thing.

Another part of lingering ghosts and hauntings, I think, is interaction with the living. Without a physical body, the ghost has no native source of energy. Part of working with ghosts, for me, has been learning how to share energy (mine or from other sources) with ghosts to help them communicate, interact, and continue existing. When the energy runs out, they fade. With a steady supply of energy sources, a ghost could theoretically haunt a place indefinitely.

So, what causes a haunting? I don’t really know for sure! What causes a haunting to linger? A steady source of energy, I think.

Making Contact

So, you want to talk to a ghost. Cool! You’ve got a ton of options at your disposal.

There are the witch-typical methods of spirit communication, most of which would work fairly well for talking to ghosts. I’ve talked a little bit about spirit communication methods before in a more general sense, but I find that ghosts don’t always respond well to divination.

In my experience, simpler tools are better. Unless I knew for a fact that a person understood tarot in life, I would be unlikely to use it to talk to their ghost. Tools you can easily explain that provide clear answers would likely serve you best for most ghosts. My biggest suggestions are pendulums, which are easy for ghosts to understand and manipulate, and ouija boards. Yes, yes, I can hear the gasping and booing already.

Listen. Ouija boards are not evil. Ouija is a game. But talking boards really are good tools for talking to ghosts. Again, they’re easy to understand and manipulate. Plus, you can get really clear answers from a talking board if your ghost is chatty.

There are other tools that have been popularized by ghost hunters that may come in handy, too. Personally, I’ve had success with voice recorders catching EVP (electronic voice phenomena) and, on one notable occasion, a ghost box.

Honestly, I’ve had little use for tools like these outside of ghost hunting scenarios where we’re trying to prove ghosts’ existence in a scientific sense. Voice recorders catching wisps of voice in the background are super cool, and I definitely would suggest having one on hand when doing a ghost adventure. But they’re not great for in the moment communication, since you have to stop a recording to listen back to it and then react who knows how long later.

Where ghost boxes are concerned, I’ve only had the one opportunity to try it out. We were in a location I knew to be haunted thanks to previous visits, and it did seem to work okay. I’d like to try it again sometime to see if it was just a fluke or if it’s an actual, viable thing to use. With any tool commonly used in ghost hunting TV shows (or that’s otherwise Popular By Spectacle), I always approach with serious skepticism. Those shows are all about creating a reaction that can be captured; and when they don’t receive a response, they’re liable to make shit up for the cameras. It’s annoying, especially when a tool might really be useful but it’s shrouded in the very necessary skepticism around these shows.

Now, my personal go-to method to connect to ghosts is to just… talk to them. I don’t usually need to use any tools for it. But I’ve spent many, many, many years honing the skills needed to do this. It’s worth learning how to do if you plan on working with spirits, but it does take effort to get good at, even if you have an innate talent for it. If you can, take some time to develop a sense for spirits. Learn what spiritual presences feel like for you. You may not get immediate results at first, but the skill of sensing energy can apply across the board. And even if you get no “real” response, you can still talk to the ghosts.

When you go to communicate with a ghost, just remember that they’re still a person. They’re not a spectacle, though they are fascinating. Not all ghosts are going to want to talk to you. Not all ghosts are going to like you. Be respectful. Treat that ghost like you’d treat any stranger out in the wild. Don’t be an asshole.

On Mediumship

This is mostly just a brief note, since it’s an adjacent topic that I’ve gotten questions about before.

Not everyone who talks to or works with ghosts is a medium. A medium is a particular career or path that describes someone who acts as a connector between the living and the dead. I tend to think of mediums as the telephone in a conversation — relaying messages back and forth. I used to do medium work all the time. It’s an exhausting path that requires a lot of self-discipline and solid boundaries dealing with both the living and the dead. I don’t do it anymore, though I do still communicate and work with ghosts regularly.

Just keep in mind that you don’t have to take on the title or mantle of “medium” in order to talk to, work with, or research ghosts.

Ghostly Q&A

I received a handful of questions about ghosts in the run up to posting this; thank you everyone who sent in a question! If you’ve got a question and want my perspective on it, feel free to drop it in my inbox or in the replies/reblogs of this post.

From @moonmargaritas: “How do you tell the difference between nervousness at discerning the presence of a ghost (new practitioner who still gets jitters 🤙) and sensing actual hostile intent?”

This is a really great question! This is something I had to work through myself when I got started. And honestly, I still get jitters sometimes many years later! It can be scary, even when you’re used to it.

The biggest piece of advice I have is to learn how your body experiences nervousness or anxiety. Where does that sit in your body? What kind of feelings to you experience?

For me, nervousness is a sort of itchy tingling around my shoulders and tightness around my ribs. It also manifests as the feeling of being watched or observed too closely. It’s easy to misattribute those feelings to a ghost’s presence — tingling and feeling like something’s watching? Those are classic ghost interactions! But I know that’s what anxiety feels like. That’s how I feel when the lights go out too fast or I hear a branch snap in the distance.

Once you know, you can work past those feelings and focus on what’s actually happening with the ghost (or spirit). I think of it like knowing when someone’s mad at me. Are they mad, or am I just anxious? It’s the same idea.

And, as a note, ghosts with hostile intent are few and far between. I personally don’t think that most ghosts, even the nastiest ghosts, can actually hurt you; they don’t have the energy resources for it. The ones that do are obvious, and you won't really have to question their intentions. However, you can always work with the communication methods mentioned above to determine the ghost’s feelings and intents. If you’re worried about negative interactions, a bit of salt and rosemary in a little pouch placed in your pocket goes a long way for protection.

From anonymous: “What’s an unusual way people could use to communicate with spirits? Like an expected divination tool or something we should pay more attention to.”

Hmmmm! Honestly, I think that classic, actual call and response is underrated specifically when it comes to ghosts. Yeah, we’ve all seen the Ghost TV Guys call out for a knock or a word or whatever, but when they get a response, they wig out and don’t do anything with it. It’s annoying!! Because genuinely, saying “tap once for yes, twice for no” and asking questions is a really, really solid way to communicate with a ghost when you have no other tools that will work on hand. I’ve had ghosts lead me to important places and objects within houses doing this. I think more people should give it a try without falling prey to the over-the-top reaction of “DID YOU HEAR THAT?!”

From anonymous: What advice would you give someone dealing with a haunting?

For a run-of-the-mill, regular old haunting? Let it run its course. Most hauntings, when left alone, will fade. However, if you’re inclined to talk to the ghost(s), get them to leave quicker, or get them to be less intrusive in your life, there are a few things you could do.

To talk to them, choose a method of communication and try to reach out like I described above. Get to know them if you can, and set some ground rules. If they won’t (or can’t) communicate with you, and you really want them gone, I would probably recommend a gentle banishing ritual. Something that doesn’t scream “get out” so much as kindly say, “It’s time to move on.”

Or, if you don’t want the ghost gone, just a little quieter at night or out of your bedroom, you could set up wards or activity-dampeners around specific spaces. Choose ingredients and spells that protect against unwanted spirits or just unwanted activity. Keep it activated all day long or just at night while you’re trying to sleep.

Thanks for Reading!

Posts like this are usually put on my Ko-Fi as exclusives first, but since the questions in this one came from Tumblr, I decided to post it in both places at once! (:

With that said, if you did enjoy this post, consider throwing a couple dollars at my tip jar. Tips, commissions, and shop purchases get you 30 days of access to my entire backlog of exclusive posts and upcoming ones. Monthly members get continuous access plus extra benefits! All support helps me keep the lights on, so it's very much appreciated.

If you've got Ghost Questions, shoot 'em my way! My inbox is open.

[starboyjun]

batfam as types of isekai romance male leads

in this post: bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd, tim drake, cassandra cain, stephanie brown, and damian wayne

bruce wayne as rudiger winterwald (i will change the genre)

bruce is definitely the cold and "i make misunderstandings for a job" type of male lead. he's the one people in the comments bash or defend for their life. bruce in his past life is the one that the female lead thinks hates them so they die thinking that he won't care but plot twist: he does care... a lot. he's the one to destroy the entire world after their death (regis floyen core) and he's the one who turned back time for her.

dick grayson as isidor visconti (isn't being a wicked woman much better?)

dick grayson is the childhood lover, the one you don't think would be interested in you because of his bright personality. you think he's doing all these things out of pure kindness until after 100+ chapters he likes you. dick grayson is the one to stick by your side and in both lives, was devoted to you.

jason todd as izek van omerta (how to get my husband on my side)

jason todd is the one who unintentionally is cold to you (another idea is he's your killer in your first life) and probably causes your death... unintentionally... maybe. he's the slow burn type of romance where you fix past misunderstandings that have been building up for the past years you've known each other/been together. after a lot of years you've spent together, he's the greenest green flag you've ever met.

tim drake as schdermel raft (my dear aster)

tim drake is the male lead who takes a while to own the reader's hearts lowkey. timmy is a duke that rose to power in the female lead's previous life and is the one that could help her/protect her from her family/problems. timmy is such a sweetheart and i think it'll take a while before romance starts to come in the story (and has reader's asking novel readers who's the male lead).

cassandra cain as dorothea millanair (the tyrant wants to be good)

cassandra cain is the ultimate "i didn't want to be this, my surroundings made me be this." cassandra had a hard childhood because of her father and her "home" similar to many manhwa female leads. cassandra is the type to regret her past life and change for the better. she's not a brainless female lead, she knows a lot of things and will want to change (similar to dorothea).

stephanie brown as athanasia de alger obelia (wmmap)

stephanie is a female lead who is kinda stupid ("why did the plot change" type things) but overall is a strong female lead. she's one to go down in history (like athy). she's one who doesn't need a male lead to back her up and overall chases the plot to chang people's lives. steph is a happy girl and deserves a happy ending.

damian wayne as maximilian kasin ashet (father i dont want to get married)

damian is the one who (unintentionally/intentionally) killed you in your past life. damain grew up as a stuck up brat kid, though he is less of a brat, he's a trained killer for gods sake. damian is one who isn't familiar with love and being gentle. he probably grew up on the battlefield and is labelled "mad dog" or "cold blooded killer" or something along those lines. once you show damian you're not like the other girls afraid of him, he starts to fall... hard.

bonus: alfred pennyworth

the reliable butler of the family who's been serving the family for ages. he's the first one who trusts you and gets to know you on a personal level. he's always there to talk to the waynes and convince them you're a good person.

idk what to do next so lmk lol

[r6shippingdelivery]

There’s been a lot of talk about AO3 and censorship lately, due to one of the candidates to the OTW board. And I realised I have very strong Opinions:tm: about censorship and the freedom AO3 stands for.

Censorship is not a solution. It doesn’t work and it’s not even easily agreed upon where the line should be drawn. What some people might deem as immoral or reprehensible is not the same others will consider so. For example, you and me can agree that sexual stories about minors turn our stomach, yet other people would also include LGBT+ content there, even the sfw ones, and others might decide that any sexual content at all is immoral. So, how do we agree about what to ban, when nothing of it is even illegal?

because let’s be honest, it’s all fiction. As in, not real. Things like incest, rape and pedophilia are illegal irl, but not in fiction. Cause they’re not harming anyone. Really. You can find it disgusting, I certainly do, but I also recognize no person, no actual human, is harmed in the making of those stories. Because they’re made up and about made up characters. I won’t seek it out, and if I see someone making that kind of content I will most probably avoid them/block them (without harassing them), but they have the right to create any kind of fiction they want.

It always baffles me how readily understood that is when it comes to murder and violence in fiction. Nobody thinks that someone who writers murder mysteries or procedural shows really wants to go out and kill people. However, as soon as it’s about sex, people are up in arms ready to believe that those make believe scenarios are an indicative of someone’s real desires. Why is that? And since we’re on the topic of double standards: why are people clutching their pearls about fanfic, but literature gets a free pass, more or less? You go into a library and you’ll find lots of books with shocking and distasteful topics, including those that contain pedophilic content (like Lolita, to put a famous example), incest (Game of Thrones, among many others), rape, murder, etc. But they want me to believe that fanfic, the medium with severely impaired social acceptance and magnitudes smaller reach, is the actual problem that will “normalize” those ideas? Nah fam, I smell a moral panic, and people finding fanfic writers easier to bully into submission. Because this is all about controlling what forms of creative expression are deemed acceptable. Fanfic IS a form of art, popular art if you will, but still art. And by virtue of how AO3 is designed, it’s ridiculously easy to never see the kind of stories that you find objectionable.

Tags are a wonderful thing. I can specify what I want and what I don’t want in my story results when searching! Tags are the author being responsible and giving due warning. Especially the “dead dove: do not eat” tag, it lets you know that the content of the story will have questionable content, proceed at your own risk or keep scrolling. Same as the “chose to not use archive warnings” that one is a warning in itself that the story might contain triggering/upsetting content, and it’s the prerogative of each reader to decide whether they’re comfortable continuing reading or not. Ultimately, it’s all about taking responsibility for one’s decisions. People who are in favor of censorship in AO3 either don’t know how to control and curate what materials they access, or feel entitled to everyone else taking their morals into account instead of taking responsibility for their own experience in the archive.

None of the stories on AO3 is illegal. Fictional stories are not illegal, not even those dealing with unsavory topics. The archive makes people agree to continue reading whenever you click on a story with a certain rating (or without any rating at all, just in case!), so the reader is giving their consent to continue reading, they’re making an informed choice. Same as with the tags. They’re there, they’re a warning. If someone reads the tags, finds them displeasing and still continues reading, that’s on them. If I find a story with tags about rape/non-con, for example, I keep scrolling. Cause I know I will find the story displeasing and upsetting. The people clutching their pearls and going “but think of the children!” are, mostly, people who refuse that responsibility and ask the world to accommodate them and their morality. And then throw around words like pedohilia and accusations of “kiddie porn” careleslly, watering down the seriousness of such accusations. No, an explicit fanfic of twin, underage siblings going at it is not CSA. Cause there’s no real children involved in it. It might be disgusting for a lot of people (me included), understandably, but you can 100% avoid reading it and interacting with the people who write those. 

Finally, let’s not forget the recent history of fandom spaces, shall we? LiveJournal and Fanfiction.net both had purges of content, after some campaigns for censorship gained traction and popularity. So now everything relating to certain topics is eliminated! Well, except that also includes communities of support for survivors of sexual abuse (it happened in LJ). Well, except that the people pressuring for censorship weren’t happy with the gay smut either, so a lot of LGBT related stuff is now also gone! (happened both in LJ and ff.net). Except, in some countries anything sexual at all, is frowned upon, so why not ban that too? Censorship supporters will always move the goalposts, forever shifting their aim whenever they accomplish something. Because it’s easier and more comfortable to make others conform to their standards than accepting some artistic expressions will be uncomfortable to some people. And trust me, none of them will care if the dark fic in question was written by a survivor of similar experiences trying to cope with their trauma or raise awareness, or if it was done simply for titillation or to safely explore different scenarios in fiction. And the topics that were banned in those websites didn’t disappear at all, they just weren’t properly warned for/detailed in the summaries, so anyone could stumblre upon them by accident. The complete opposite of what happens in AO3.

AO3 was created by people who lived through those censorship events in different fandom spaces, as a response to it. To seeing whole communities and swathes of fan content being unceremoniously deleted overnight. AO3 is an archive and an online library, not a social media platform. It’s a safe haven for anyone to host their fan creations, but that doesn’t mean it’s a safe space as people understand the term in other platforms. In AO3 you make your safe space by using the tags. Because that is the only real way we can have a safe haven for EVERYONE. 

The thing about freedom of speech is that sometimes, you have to defend things you dislike (that, I repeat, are legal in this case), because experience has shown time and time again that as soon as you give an inch to the censors, they take more and more. And today they’re up in arms about “pedophilic fanfics”, but once that is done? It might be all nsfw content, it might be trans related content, it might be something else. But it will happen. 

[greenandhazy]

okay but it's the fact that CQL is in large part about what you would sacrifice for the people you love, and in almost every other instance in the show, that sacrifice is portrayed as, if not necessarily the Right decision, at the very least evidence of fundamental goodness. the Yunmeng trio, Wen Qing for her brother and Nie Mingjue for his (Fatal Journey counts 100%), Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, they make difficult choices for love and that makes them Good even if it doesn't make them happy.

and then there's Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang. whose identities are so fundamentally wrapped up in being His Mother's Son and The Little Brother, respectively, and they are so singularly devoted to the legacy of their relative that they will continue to fight for it long after death. they will sacrifice others in a heartbeat. they will lie, they will scheme, they will cause others pain. they will endure humiliation after humiliation. they will put on a persona that makes their true selves unrecognizable even to the people who know them best. ultimately they will sacrifice their own morality, their own goodness, in a way that would probably horrify the people in whose names they make this sacrifice.

I am falling asleep and these are random disjointed thoughts but other things that drive me feral about them is:

the backstory CQL gives, Meng Yao being at the Unclean Realm for (?) a length of time, and allll the visual signifiers of a close, basically familial relationship between them

(I know fanon likes to talk about "the Nie braids" as a sect-wide thing but they ARE NOT. they are a HUAISANG AND MINGJUE AND MENG YAO THING. litcherally no other Nie disciple wears them, not even Nie Zonghui! that's so significant!)

CQL/FJ leaning hard into the suggestion of the brothers being more or less on their own, very little discussion of their parents, leaving room to lean into the idea of NMJ fulfilling a parental role as well as a brotherly one, and the parallel between him and Meng Shi being even stronger

the final flashback to Meng Yao and Meng Shi, and how it's framed to suggest that as coming from Huiasang--a cherished memory Meng Yao passed on to him?

I've seen this floated around on tumblr before, about how it's very likely that Jin Guangyao underestimated the depth of Huaisang's love for his brother, based on how his love manifests as overachieving. so that moment of revelation in the temple being not just "oh, you're the one who was behind this the whole time" but "oh, you and I have this same sickness, this same depth of feeling."

the character songs. I'm obsessed with them. the fact that Jin Guangyao's is a constant litany of questions, uncertainty, revolving around "How many people are willing to know your true face?", while the Nie brothers' song has their relationship as this unshakeable foundation, to the point that they're the only two characters represented by one vocalist. the Unclean Realm being unquestionably "a place of deep love" and the only uncertainty being "when will we see each other again?"

(...and that being answered in part by the title, the repeated use of farewell with connotations of permanence. Huaisang defying death, wanting his brother back in any form possible, while Jin Guangyao literally meets his doom because he is so concerned about earning his mother an easier time in her next life.)

mutual obsession over Nie Mingjue. Meng Yao keeping his head in his treasure room. there are lots of jokes about how LXC is left out of the get-along coffin, but can we talk about the fact that Huaisang sacrificed his moral compass, the reputation of his sect, the life of a troubled teenager, and 10+ years of his life all so he could free his brother's mutilated body from Jin Guangyao's clutches... and at the end of it all, Jin Guangyao is the one who will be with him for eternity?

in conclusion: I love them, your honor.

[delzinrowe]

How do you explain a feeling? - Choso

WORD COUNT: ~2.2K WARNINGS: None. F!Reader SUMMARY: Choso's still learning to understand different human emotions, this time "love". A/N: I have no excuse for this, it's pretty much garbage, but enjoy

There was no word to describe the sheer absurdity of how Choso’s life had changed over the course of a few short weeks.

All he had known in the past was to fight for his brothers. Admittedly, his past did not hold a lot of memorable moments due to being stuck in a tiny tube and contained, sealed away from humanity.

Now that he stood on the good side of this fight, after most of the battles had been fought, he was almost displaying a childlike eagerness to learn about human traditions and customs. One subject that plagued his mind mostly were human emotions and feelings. How different people were. It showed in their vastly different reactions to certain situations, or even hardships.

Was it inappropriate to say that it fascinated him? Maybe. However, this was his home now, among humans. It was a strange feeling to be accepted, even if it was only by a handful of sorcerers who would most definitely be classified as abnormal humans either way. Accepted nonetheless.

Among all these new sensations, lessons, experiences, and situations he found himself confronted with, there was a particularly enchanting one; Y/N.

Whenever the female sorcerer was around there was a certain feeling of warmth in his chest. Something he could not quite describe, much less understand. It was odd, really. He didn’t feel it with anyone else, only her.

At times when he wasn’t attentive she would sneak up on him, and after successfully scaring the bejesus out of him she would let out this heartfelt laugh. Maybe it was only a chuckle, maybe it was a giggle. All he knew was that the sound of it was just about the most welcoming sound he had ever heard. Except for when his name would drop from her lips.

Sometimes Yuji would shoot him a gaze that Choso couldn’t read, with raised eyebrows, a slightly tilted head and a smirk on his lips while nodding towards her. But the half-human being was left puzzled whenever he received this particular gaze from his little brother. Couldn’t he just tell him with words what he wanted to say? Why did humans feel the need to make it all complicated by using body language which no rational thinking being would be capable of decoding?

Yuji’s non-verbal messages had him guessing more than the feeling in his chest whenever Y/N was near. And ultimately, Choso decided to confront his little brother about this strange thing he did. He loved his brother and he would fight for him to the death, but for fuck’s sake, he needed clear words to understand whatever the hell he wanted to tell him.

———

It only took the half-curse half-human being around half an hour to find Yuji and as he approached his little brother he was glad that no one else was around. However, before Choso even had the chance to say a single word Yuji already spoke up.

“Hey Choso, how are things going with Y/N?”, once again he had this confusing expression on his face. His eyebrows were raised but his lips curled into a smile. The tone he used made it all the more difficult for Choso to understand his little brother. “Just what do you mean?” Even without this choice of words Choso’s tone of voice made it quite clearjust how confused he seemed.

“Oh come on, I can see how you look at her and how you blush. You like her, it’s obvious.”, Yuji stated his reply, much to Choso’s horror.

It took the older one more than just a minute to process everything, his face mimicking a grimace now. Was that the strange feeling? Was it really possibly that it was of romantic nature? The thought never crossed his mind. It seemed way too absurd, after all he was a half-curse half-human being. He didn’t even know that he could feel anything like that.

Yuji must have seen on Choso’s face how the wheels started turning inside his head, causing the younger one to out a heartfelt laugh.

“I know I’m not the brightest, but even I noticed how whipped you seem for her.”

Choso could only guess the meaning of the word ‘whipped’, although that wasn’t his main focus at this point.

He barely had a chance to even think of his words when Yuji already spoke up again.

“Listen, you’re half-human, you’re capable of love. Right now I think that’s exactly what you are feeling. If you want my advice, go and tell her.” Wasn’t it ironic how the little brother gave such a mature commentary and even offered advice when it should have been the other way around? As the eldest of the death paintings Choso always felt responsible for taking the lead and offering advice. However, the topic of love was never brought up. For who would ever love a curse?

A pat on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts and his gaze lifted towards Yuji. He watched his little brother give him a thumbs up and eventually walking away.

No amount of thoughts could have prepared him for the conversation he just had. Love? It was a word he wasn’t familiar with, at least not the romantic kind. The only form of love he ever felt was the one towards his brothers. But that was nowhere near as intense as what he felt when Y/N was around. Maybe Yuji was right? Was he truly capable of this type of love? And even if he was… what did that mean? What was he supposed to do now?

‘Tell her.’ Yuji’s words rang in his ears, repeating in his mind like a command he wasn’t sure he could follow. Choso was prone to overthink certain scenarios, with this being a major cause for overthinking.

———

Even hours after his conversation with Yuji Choso couldn’t think about anything else than his little brother’s words. He needed to do something about all of this, right now. If that required him to talk to Y/N then he’d do that. Anything to finally clear up that foggy chaos in his mind.

It didn’t take him long to find Y/N. As usual she’d be around the training grounds, sitting somewhere at the side while observing the younger ones during their training. But this time there was no one fighting or trying out new weapons. Besides her, the training grounds were empty.

“What are you doing here alone?”, Choso’s sudden question almost made Y/N jump. What an embarrassing thought to admit that she was lost in thoughts and didn’t hear his heavy steps…

“Nothing really, just thinking.” She didn’t bother to look up at him as she responded, knowing fully well that he would eventually sit down next to her like he had done so many times before.

Although this time she seemed to wait in vain when Choso simply kept standing close to her. He didn’t even approach her. Was something wrong? Had she accidentally offended him in any way?

“What is love?” The question had caught her entirely off guard, even causing her eyes to widen before she furrowed them and looked at him puzzled. “What is *love*? Why that’s a damn random.”

“My apologies if I-”, Was it a bad question? Should he have waited for a better time? Either way, Choso’s apology was quickly interrupted.

“No, no. It’s alright.” Her gaze returned to a soft smile. With a tilted head she examined his features. “Are you asking for a specific reason or do you just want a general understanding of the human emotion called love?”

The way she looked at him, her voice almost gentle as she asked. How come she was so kind to him? The only good thing he ever did was side with Yuji. There was no reason for her to be so understanding and accepting of him, but there she was, trying to make sense of something other people would have just laughed at.

There it was again… this warm feeling in his chest. Something he just couldn’t quite describe. For a moment too long Choso got lost in his own thoughts before he remembered that he still had to answer her question. “A general understanding.”

A hum was all she responded with. His gaze lowered towards her as if he had tunnel vision. Everything around him was suddenly drown out. The rustling of the trees that surrounded the training grounds, the birds chirping away on some branches not too far away, the river nearby gurgling with fresh water. It all seemed muted, all he could focus on in this moment was Y/N.

“Well, I don’t speak for everyone but to me love is the warmest sensation I ever experienced. When you walk into a warm room after spending hours outside, and your fingers get those tingly feelings. Do you know what I mean? Iin the most positive way, it’s like that for me. Only a thousand times stronger.”

She wasn’t really sure what kind of answer to give him, or what exactly he wanted to know about love, all she knew was what she felt. Hopefully describing this would be helpful.

“Love can be everywhere, between family, friends and partners. But since you have brothers I guess you know the platonic kind of love anyways.” A warm smile was sent his way as she tilted her head once more. He still stood next to her, not having moved at all.

“But the romantic kind of love… That’s entirely different. For me personally, it’s when I can’t stop thinking of someone all day despite them being close by. Or when I catch myself missing them but it’s only been a minute since I saw them. It’s when the mere mention or thought of them makes me smile so brightly that I forget all my worries.”

Choso took in every single word she said. He figurtivaly hung on her lips like a dried leaf refusing to part from tree branch in late autumn. Did she always smile at him this way? Were her eyes always sparkling when the sun shone on it?

“Love is genuine happiness, it’s wanting to be with someone and being willing to do anything it takes to make that person happy. There are a lot more words and ways to describe it, but with the way you’re staring at me I think I’m failing pretty miserably.” Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle with the way he had been looking at her. She couldn’t read his gaze, all she knew was that the intensity of it was almost enough to cause her chest to tighten.

“You didn’t fail at all. I think I understand.” Choso’s remark was short but enough to intrigue her, eliciting another soft chuckle as she stood up to be closer to his eyes.

“Then what’s love to you?”, she asked with a quiet hum at the end of her words, her smile still evident but having dwindled by a bit.

Within a second his mind went completely blank. There was a peculiar sound in his ears, it sounded like drumming. Was that his heart? Did it actually beat as loud as it sounded to him? For a second he thought it would jump out of his ribcage.

“You.” There it was, his one word answer, dropping from his lips so casually, yet it left a burning sensation on his lips. But he felt the need to clarify as soon as he saw her widened eyes.

“I love you.”

Choso had seen some romance movies with Yuji before. He knew how these thoughts were supposed to happen on the screen. What he didn’t know was how to react when Y/N didn’t respond.

Seconds passed until she finally sucked in a deep breath, letting it go in a sigh only moments later. When the corners of her lips lifted into a smile he felt a weight fall off his chest. This had to be a good sign. She was smiling at him. The possibility of a heartbreak didn’t even cross his mind. When he focused on her smile nothing bad would ever come to his mind.

“I love you too.” Was it a bit early to say these words? Surely, but she knew that she had been crushing hard on Choso ever since he joined their side. He had always had such a gentle nature to him, despite being a half-curse. In some ways, she thought he was probably the most gentle soul she ever met. 

Y/N felt an overwhelming urge to be close to him, but even after confessing their feelings she felt somewhat too insecure to initiate anything. Or perhaps it was exactly because of it that she felt shy.

Choso on the other hand didn’t think twice about his actions. An overwhelming sense of happiness surged through him. He remembered the phrase “having butterflies in your stomach”, it felt fitting but he was still bewildered by the metaphor. Nonetheless, he wasted no time wrapping his arms around Y/N and engulfing her in what was definitely the tightest hug they had ever shared.

He remembered how he choose the life as curses with his brothers, when he convinced himself it was due to his brothers not being accepted by humans. But right now he was eternally thankful that he followed Yuji into a life among humans and sorcerers. This life that was filled with new friends, new sensations, new emotions.

A life he was determined to live to the fullest, with her by his side.

[mochinomnoms]

Sequel to my "Best (human) boy for periods" ranking; here comes the worsties (Affectionate)

Ace - Ultimate teenage boy(tm), is gonna make a big stink and fuss over how he doesn't wanna hear about you being on or think about it. "No poops, no farts, no periods"! kinda guy. He'll get better when he's older but in your first year as friends? He's gonna tease and antagonise you. If you're the emotional type when you'er on, you can turn the tables on him by crying and getting the whole class to go "Wow, what an asshole" at him for the rest of the week tho.

Vil - This guy holes everyone to the same standards as him, fully believing everyone can give 110% at all times. He's gonna come at you about how just because you're on the rag doesn't mean you can start snacking on chocolate bars all the time (or any comfort food). He WILL critique your skincare routine if your skin breaks out. One day he'll look back at how he treated you and thank Rook for literally carrying him away from you before you killed him.

Epel - Not really his fault, but considering his "old fashioned" upbringing, things like periods were just Not Discussed, even between the women in his family, so Epel's first reaction to learning that you're on is just a sound "I didn't hear that" slowly evolving into a "Why tf are you telling me this?" (Because I bled through my trousers and can't get up from this chair Epel, jeez). Just will not engage with the subject at hand.

Deuce - More of an inbetween than actually the worst(tm), he earns a lot of brownie points for wanting to help you and is the type to panic buy every item on the shelf. BUT! if you're the type to get moody or aggressive when you're on, he's instinctively gonna meet aggression with aggression and you two will have to be seperated for a while.

Idia - Just straight up wont deal with it, he'll send Ortho to help you. Best you're gonna get from this guy is a "RIP LMAO" when you text him that you're on :(

Honorable mention: Silver. Not his fault either, but being raised in a predominantly fairy based family unit, periods are an alien concept to him. Won't really understand what's going on when you try to explain it to him, and with Lilia as his main guide, is gonna make a LOT of mistakes before he gets things right but he get's a lot of points for trying to help. Might even use his UM to see into your dreams/memories to get a feel for what it's like, just so he can better know how to help you.

Aww, see I get that it would be realistic for some of the boys to be immature and get grossed out, but it's a fantasy world! Maybe my fantasy is that the boys are semi-educated on the human body and are gonna support me during my periods 😭

I really think both Vil and Deuce should be given more credit, though. Vil is very in touch with his femininity, and doesn't really disrespect others unless they disrespect him or cause trouble, based on his interactions with others at least. I think he'd be excellent because he can make the best pain potions for your cramps, and might be willing to give you tips on how to care for your skin during your hormonal periods. But only if he likes you.

Deuce was raised only by his mama, and based on what I know of her from the JP event, she def gives off the vibes of "I'm teaching my son how to care and respect women." He'd probably understand that you're not being aggressive with him for the sake of it, you emotions are being messed with due to all the hormones fluctuating in your body. But I do agree that he is the type to panic buy one of everything to help you out.

The others, I can see it, though I would like to this that Epel's case is less of being raised old-fashioned (nothing about him and the way he interacts with others screams old-fashioned to me), and more of being one of the few young people in a town of old people. The folk that can have periods don't because they've probably gone through menopause! It doesn't occur to them that he should probably know about periods!!!

Ace and Idia are just immature and dumb and I love them. Also, rip Silver, he's never interacted with another human outside of Sebek's dad.

Anyways my headcanon for the TWST universe is that they actually teach biology and anatomy so people aren't taught to know nothing about things like periods. Cause that's stupid why do we do that?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting mad at some people in a discord server?

So this is in a fandom server that is dedicated to a certain character. But we are allowed to talk about other characters there cause of ships. It started out as a fun place, but then it started becoming less fun. Since the server got more busy, sometimes people would ignore messages from other people or talk over them. Lots of people would do that to me too, so I found a small group in the server that would talk to me.

But things changed. Since my small group would have our own talks, other people began to butt in and talk over us. Once I mentioned the Female avatar for a ship, someone would jump in with "this ship can be done with Male avatar too!" The others laughed it off at first, but then it started happening every time we would talk about the female avatar. The conversation would always be forced to talk about the male avatar too.

When I got mad at the person that would keep jumping in, they said "why does it matter? The ship dynamic won't change just cause we make the avatar male." I told them that it mattered because we were trying to talk about the female avatar and that it sucked that no one could talk about her without male avatar being mentioned. The person apparently tattled to the mods about what I said because I got a warning for "being overly aggressive and making people uncomfortable." And I was told that if I did that again, I would be banned. Then upon request from the person that kept butting in, they put it in the rules that "you cannot get mad at someone if they want to talk about female/male avatar when you are talking about female/male avatar. they share the spotlight."

In the beginning, the mods had made it clear the server would be a safe haven for female avatar supporters and that they would not tolerate it if male avatar supporters tried to push her out.

So I got upset with the server because this was what I was afraid would happen. I told them it was unfair that they were pushing this when they had originally said that female and male avatar would be treated as different people because others had complained that they didn't like that they were being viewed as the same character. The mods had known that female avatar gets hated just for being a girl. And they know that people tend to just reduce her to being an alternate version of the male avatar. So by changing the rules the way they were, they were just pushing that out the window.

The mods said I was pushing it. So I called everyone in the server jerks and were catering to people who would ultimately ruin their server. I left and did not reply to anyone that dm'd me.

I ended up joining a server that respected the female avatar. Then suddenly I was banned from that server with no warning. After awhile a mod from that server that had given me a warning. dm'd me again a week after I had left and blamed me for the server disbanding. They called me an asshole and that they messaged other character servers for that fandom and had them all blacklist me. So if I join any, it would be an instaban. It hurts that it is going to happen. Now I can't enjoy the fandom without having to watch my back. I am considering apologizing just so they would retract the blacklist, but I am scared people will just keep talking behind my back about it.

So... AITA for getting mad at them?

What are these acronyms?

[katareyoudrilling]

The Sweepstakes: Frankie Morales Epilogue (Porn Star AU)

Series: The Sweepstakes

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Porn star Female reader

Summary: You texted Frankie after your evening together, but what happened next?

Word count: ~600

Rating: Explicit (18+ only. NO MINORS)

Content Warnings: descriptions of sex acts

A/N: This follows the events of The Sweepstakes: Frankie Morales so be sure to read that first!  I did the most minimal of research for this, so please forgive any inaccuracies.  I have been overwhelmed (in the best way) by the response to Sweepstakes Frankie.  I hope what I’ve imagine here does him justice.  Enjoy!

Reblogs and comments greatly appreciated!

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist – link in my bio or ask me to add you!

“Frankie! Come see this!” you exclaim from the bedroom.

“What is it?” Frankie comes in, running a towel through his shower-damp hair, wearing just his worn blue jeans.  You take in the view of his soft tummy and bare feet, momentarily distracted from the news you called him in to share.

You just had him in your bed less than an hour ago, but you’d gladly have him back again.  You shake your head to clear the distracting thoughts.

“Right. I was just uploading today’s video when I saw that we hit 1,000 subscribers!”

“What? Really? That sounds like a lot.”  He sits down next to you on the bed, his weight causing the mattress to dip and bumping your knee against his side.  His fresh, clean scent wafts over you and you have to resist the urge to snuggle into his warm skin.

“It is a lot,” you beam at him, and he returns your smile with a lopsided grin of his own. “We’ll be making real money soon.”

It had been after another fun and satisfying fuck with your favorite civilian that you had pitched Frankie the idea of starting an OnlyFans with you.

The way you saw it, there was an untapped market for soft, brown-eyed men, who gave amazing head.  Your rapidly rising subscriber numbers are proving your hunch to be correct.

Frankie had thought it over, but he said it was ultimately a pretty easy decision.  Why not try to earn a little extra money doing something he loved?

You called your channel “The Pussy Eating King”

Your signature videos were first person POVs of him eating you out.  Sometimes he looked directly down the camera with those soulful eyes.  Others, he closed them to get completely lost in the pleasure of your cunt.  It was devastating… in the best way.  And the viewership numbers agreed.

Second to those, were the videos you filmed from between Frankie’s legs, looking up at him while you stroked his gorgeous cock until he came.  His disheveled curls and pink cheeks are the stuff dreams are made of.

Dirty dreams.

Dreams you wake up needy and desperate from.

It would be selfish to keep that view just for yourself.

“I think we should celebrate,” Frankie muses, pulling on his t-shirt and running his fingers through his messy curls.  “Can I take you on a date?”

“A date?” Your pulse pounds in your ears.  Sure, you have sex with Frankie on a regular basis.  You have sex with a lot of people.  Sure, you often wind up spending the day in bed with him just talking, but being with him in public? With clothes on?

Frankie senses your hesitation.  “It doesn’t have to change anything.  I just really like you and want to spend time with you.”

“I… ok,” you hear yourself answer.

“Great, I’ll pick you up at 8.”  Frankie kisses the top of your head and makes his way out of your apartment, picking up his hat as he goes.  Before he closes the door, he turns and winks.

- - - - - - - - - 

Later that night, Frankie takes your hand as you walk down the sidewalk.  He twines his fingers with yours in a way that feels more intimate than anything you’ve done in the bedroom.

He said nothing would change, but things always change.

For the first time in a long time, you wonder if maybe that isn’t a bad thing.

- - - - - - - - - -

A/N: If these types of videos exist, please let me know…

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist – in reblog

[lustfulslxt]

Sweet Nothings - Matt Sturniolo

summary : as matt’s girlfriend, you feel very insecure being plus size. he assures you he loves every bit of you.

warnings : insecurities and sex.

—

Matt and I had been out at some pool party for a few hours, and quite frankly, I was beyond ready to go. I’m not really a people’s person, much less when I’m surrounded by people who make me feel self conscious.

Being bigger, I’ve always struggled with loving myself. And sometimes I do well with it, but then there’s times like these; when everybody surrounding us is small and beautiful, and I can feel their judgmental stares.

Sometimes, I wonder if Matt sees it too. Surely, he does. He could be with literally anybody he wanted, why would he settle for me?

“What’s the matter, princess?” His voice cuts me from my thoughts.

I turn my head, only to be met with his concerned face staring down at me. I give him a slight smile and shake my head a bit, causing him to wrap his arm around me.

“Do you want to leave? Say the word and we’re gone.”

I pondered for a moment, before ultimately nodding, “Please.”

He brings me in closer, hooking his arm around my shoulders and planting a kiss on my temple. With that, we were finally exiting the party.

Upon making it to his car, he opens the door for me. Once I get in, he stands there looking at me with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“What?” I ask him, feeling a little self conscious at the moment.

“You know, you might not want to talk to me, and that’s fine, I won’t force you to. But if you change your mind, just know that I’m here for you. Whatever it may be, I’m always here.” He says, staring me into my eyes.

My lips grow into a smile as butterflies dance in my stomach. I lean forward and plant a soft and gentle kiss on his lips, which he passionately returns.

“Thank you.” I whisper.

He gives me another small kiss and a slight nod, then makes his way over to the driver side of the car. He gets in and we’re on our way.

Throughout the whole ride, I couldn’t help but let my thoughts wonder again. I couldn’t shake my insecurities this time, and it was forming an uncomfortable pit at the bottom of my stomach. I think Matt could sense I was anxious, because he reached over and placed his hand on my thigh, rubbing circles into it.

I truly love this man. He’s everything to me. He’s so funny, so kind, so caring, so charming, so pretty. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was the same for him.

“What on your mind, princess?” Matt asks, sparing me a quick glance.

A frown immediately made its way to my face. I wanted to talk to him about this, but I was also scared. I didn’t want to feel stupid, and I really didn’t want to humiliate myself.

Sighing, I ask, “Are you attracted to me?”

Chuckles continuously fell from his mouth, him supposedly finding my question very amusing. Once he took in my serious expression, his face fell.

“What? Are you serious?” He asks, bewildered. “Of course, I find you attractive. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

He frowns, “No! Why? You are perfect to me. Where is this coming from?”

I looked away from him, avoiding his gaze. I could feel a lump forming in my throat and I hate that I just want to cry. I’m always so sensitive sometimes, I just can’t help it.

“I don’t know. Sometimes, I just think.. Like, maybe, you’d rather be with someone else. Someone prettier… Smaller.”

Realization dawned on him, having known about my struggles with myself. He’s always been supportive, caring, and encouraging. It’s just hard to love yourself sometimes.

He doesn’t say a thing, only pulls into a vacant parking lot on the side of the road. Once he’s parked, he stops and stares at me, again, not saying anything.

I began to feel a little nervous under his stare, fidgeting in my seat. Just as I’m about to open my mouth to say something, he swiftly lifts me up and places me on his lap. My cheeks heat up and I immediately try to lighten my weight for him. However, he notices and pulls me back down against him.

“You are beautiful.” He says, giving me a kiss. “You are amazing. You are phenomenal. You are perfect. I’m in love with you and everything about you.”

As he’s talking, his lips are going from my own to around my face and neck. His hands are grabbing all over me, hugging me and pulling me flush against him. I could feel him growing underneath me, and it only made my cheeks turn darker.

"I don't want some scrawny little girl, I want you. You may not like yourself, but I'm going to do everything I can to teach how to love yourself as much as I do. You’re perfect to me, princess.” He tells me, nothing but genuine love and adoration in his eyes.

I can't help but ask, "Why are you so nice?"

"I'm not nice. I'm honest, and you're deserving of it."

I only give him a small smile, then capture his lips in mine. His hands run from my waist, down to my thighs and around to cup my ass. My hands hooked around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

After just a moment of kissing, Matt pulls away. “Can you feel what you do to me?”

As he asks that, he repositions me, so I was now sitting on his full erection. His hard on was directly beneath my core, poking up into me through my shorts, the pressure feeling good on my clit.

"Let me show you." He speaks again, his mouth meeting my neck once more.

My head tilted to the side, giving him more access as he licked and nibbled on my skin. His hands continued to knead my ass, softly grinding me against his groin, soft whimpers leaving my mouth.

"You're so beautiful, baby. Even just the sound of you makes me want to cum." He whispers into my ear, goosebumps spreading across my skin.

"I love you." I whisper back, taking his lips in mine.

It was a sweet yet passionate kiss. We moved perfectly in sync, becoming one with each other. It was like we put every unsaid emotion and feeling into it, figuratively speaking through tongues. I was telling him he was everything and more to me. He was telling me he does and always will love everything about me.

Once we pulled away to catch our breath, he cupped the side of my face with his hand. I leaned into it as he stared into my eyes, both of us taking in each other's features. He leaned forward and placed another gentle kiss on my lips.

"Can I take this off?" He questions me, grabbing the hem of my shirt.

Instead of answering, I just swiftly pulled it over my head and tossed it onto my seat. Out of habit, I covered my stomach with my arms, already feeling a bit self-conscious.

With a frown on his face, he softly grabbed my wrists and pulled them away from me, revealing my stomach. His hands grabbed at my bare skin, fondling me sweetly. He slightly tossed his head back, groaning as he grinded me against him again. Looking back up, his arms reached around my bikini top and tugged the strings, untying them and letting it fall in between us.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful." He says, his hands cupping each boob and squeezing them.

My hands reached the bottom of his shirt, tugging at it so he could take it off. He does, then immediately pulls me against him, our warm skin flushing together. He places his left hand on my hip, his right hand going behind my head and bringing me closer.

"I wanna make love to you.” He whispers, his voice husky yet soft.

I couldn’t help the heat that spread across my cheeks, my stomach twisting and my core throbbing. Hearing him say that lit a fire in me that only he could put out.

I slightly lifted off of him as he scooted the seat back, and removed my bottoms after struggling a bit from the awkward position. We couldn’t help but laugh with one another, amused from our predicament. As I was adjusting myself, Matt pulled his swim trunks down to his knees, revealing his throbbing cock.

Once we both got settled, his dick was right under my pussy, begging to enter. Matt connects his lips with mine, and one of his hands finds it’s way between my legs while the other goes back and forth from teasing each nipple. His slender fingers poke and prod at my slit, slicking them with my arousal.

“Mm, so wet for me, princess.” He groans, tossing his head back.

“Feels good, baby.” I moaned back.

He slightly lifts me up and lines himself up with my entrance, letting me sink down on him as he rubs my clit with his thumb. Soft whimpers and moans leaving both of our moans at the feeling of each other.

One of his hands wraps itself in my hair, bringing my face closer to his so he could leave a trail of wet kisses down my jaw and neck. His other hand was rubbing up and down my back, before both of them ultimately landed on my ass as he helped me grind against him.

My hands hooked around his neck, my mouth meeting his as he guided me on his dick. Our tongues worked together, exploring each other so deliciously. I was in heaven right now, and from his heavy breathing and slight moans, so was he.

“You feel so good. I love you so fucking much.” He moans into my ear.

He held me so tightly, pulling my body impossibly closer as he thrusted up into me, soft and hard. I couldn’t help the lewd moans that poured out of me, feeling nothing but euphoric. He was fucking me so good, but it felt different than usual.

His hands continued to roam my body, grabbing at every roll and crevice, as if he couldn’t get enough of me. Seeing him indulge in my entire being made me feel so good about myself.

“I swear to god, I love every single thing about you. I could spend the rest of my life like this.” He says, his voice strained from pleasure.

“I love you so much, Matthew.” I moan out, clenching around him.

I could feel him twitching inside of me, indicating he was close. Our bodies were hot, glistening with sweat as we made love. The sounds of our heavy breathing and moans filling the atmosphere. It was all so sexy, I couldn’t help but feel even more turned on. And the fact that Matt was truly showing me he loved every part of me, made it a million times better.

“You’re so good to me, princess.” He moans out.

My face scrunches in pleasure, his praising sending me over the edge as I convulsed above him. My legs were shaking as I fell into him, my orgasm pushing through as I climaxed with a loud pornographic moan.

My finishing pushed Matt to his, his stomach tightening as his hips sputtered. He released his hot load into me, still continuing to push it deeper, filling me up. His voice cracked as he let out a string of moans, his forehead falling to my shoulder.

“Fuck. That was so good.” I gasped, trying to catch my breath.

“I just wanted to show you that I love you. All of you.” He tells me, his hands once again grabbing at every part of me.

“I love you so much, baby.” I respond, pulling him into me.

He peppered kisses all over my damp skin, from my shoulders, up my neck, and to my cheeks.

“Mine forever.”

—

a/n : yuhh, mid :( i just need some matt love idkidk. enjoy, send requests 🫶🏼 not proofread btw

[catgirl-kaiju]

even more than ever, i'm endorsing that every person who is still an active harry potter fan and is reading the books, watching the movies, playing the games, and/or buying the merch is a monster who will ultimately be condemned by history. i hope you carry a deep personal shame with you until you grow the fuck up and stop supporting media made by the most prominent figure in a global hate movement.

stop putting your comfort and desire to consume above the safety and well-being of trans people, jewish people, and people of color.

i grew up with this series. it's meant a lot to me over my life. my dad used to read the books to me and my sister as kids, and we continued that tradition until the last book. we went and saw the movies together as a family. we went to a book release party dressed as characters from the books. even after i came out as trans, i had a hard time letting go. i kept harry potter merchandise around with me and had a little hufflepuff keychain. but i gave that up almost a decade ago because of the harm it started to cause to me and my community. i can't engage in these stories anymore; they make me feel sick. and the realization that antisemitism, racism, misogyny, and transphobia have been a part of these stories since the beginning means that it would be wrong to try and engage with them even without financial support and even under death of the author.

harry potter is, at this point, a symbol of hate. one that makes me feel unsafe. i don't care if you, yourself, are a member of the communities affected by jkr's hate or the hate expressed in the series. you should know better if anything.

fuck you. you can't do the bare fucking minimum to support us, jewish people, or people of color and that's sad. i legitimately hope you die so that there will be one less person in the world giving support or indifference to fascists. the world would be better without you in it, as long as you refuse to let go of a series of antisemitic, racist books written by one of the most prominent and active transphobes alive today.

sincerely,

a trans woman that you are statistically likely to ignore or harass

[gachagon]

I watched the newest episode of The Amazing Digital Circus, and yeah I can already tell this is gonna be a great show. I think it manages to handle both its comedy and horror pretty well without one being less effective than the other.

The pilot was great, but I really like that episode 2 shows us a better picture of the characters than what we already thought about them. I think the most surprising character who's development was made really clear was Pomni.

In the pilot she's naturally apathetic and also freaking out about everything, and the promo material with her included seems to follow that same track record, but here in this episode Pomni does what Ragatha's been trying to do with her the whole time! She consoles this cute little gummy gator guy about his own existence and stuff in a really mature way that we just haven't seen Pomni do before.

This episode is really about the fear of not belonging or having an impact on other people. The beginning nightmare sequence where Pomni imagines herself being abstracted versus the end with Kaufmo's funeral really shows that what she's most afraid of is that she ultimately won't have a place here at all, even if being there terrifies her.

I think Pomni has come to terms with the idea that she won't be able to leave or find an exit right away, but the fear of not fitting into her role as the Jester and doing the same song and dance for eternity eats away at her.

The funeral is a really good coping skill for all of the people in the Circus (minus Jax who just didn't go to the funeral at all) because it eases the fear of not remembering any of the people you spent all that time with, but also eases the fear of being forgotten.

I can imagine the idea of Gummigoo not remembering Pomni but still being out there "Out of bounds" is sad, but unlike the people in the circus he can always come back and in a weird ironic twist always has a place in the world he's in. And even if he doesn't remember Pomni, she'll always remember him and that's the really important part.

Also can I just say that I love this little crocodile/gator man T_T He showed up with such a silly concept but I think he really added a lot to the episode. It makes me wonder what would've happened if he really was allowed to stay in the circus despite not being real.

The episode has a lot of themes about being aware of your own mortality and why you're even alive and what purpose you serve. And in the end, for Gummi he was able to stomach the truth of his own existence with the help of Pomni, but he decided to just keep it a secret from everyone else up above.

After he gets "poofed" its safe to say he'll always still exist just not in the way Pomni saw him. And whenever Cain wants to use him for a future quest, he'll still have the same old memories of his friends and his "sick mom" who needs syrup, but the knowledge of Pomni and being Out of Bounds will not be there.

Is it better that he doesn't know what's out there? That his mother isn't actually real, and that he and everyone he knows is just 1's and 0's in a computer? Or is it better if he does know and is able to cope with that reality? Likewise, should Pomni really even worry about trying to leave this world she's been forcefully thrust into, or should she just go with the flow and accept her place as the Jester in the circus?

Truly an "Ignorance is Bliss" kind of story. We already know from this episode alone that the one thing Jax craves is chaos but that's not because he's fallen in line with being a rabbit in the game or because he wants to leave.

I think Jax is an excellent parallel to Pomni in this episode. Where Pomni tries to peacefully cope with her place in the circus and possibly coexist with the world around her, Jax wants to do nothing but cause as much disruptions as possible. Jax has accepted long ago that he's not leaving, but instead of losing his mind over it he's just become an incredibly selfish person who only wants to take his entertainment from other people. He uses his veneer as the trickster rabbit to cause as much problems in their journey's as possible all so he himself won't go crazy.

And even though in the end he's not there to witness what happens to the candy people, I think just having something new to think about is enough for him in a weird way. While Pomni struggles with feeling like she belongs, Jax has been there for a long time and his biggest struggle is "disappointment". It's being so mind numbingly bored that you forget yourself.

This is leading me to believe that what causes people to abstract isn't finding the exit or thinking about the exit, but that it's more personal than that. Abstraction seems to be when someone really truly breaks under the pressure of being in the circus itself. All of the members of the circus seem to cope with being in the circus in different ways. For Gangle it's drawing and art, for Ragatha it's throwing herself into all of the journey's and just immersing herself as an actual "ragdoll" who's going on quirky adventures, Pomni just potentially found her way of coping which could be trying to just help other people with their own baggage and being an ear to listen to, and Kinger has by all means lost his marbles so as long as he's not thinking about how hard it is being in the circus he's fine.

I think Zooble's is to just not go on the adventure's at all or maybe we just haven't seen how they cope yet. I'm guessing that Kaufmo didn't really have a coping skill, either that or it became too much and he abstracted. I think his obsession with finding an exit had something less to do with the exit itself making him go insane, and more about the possibility of him remembering something he wasn't supposed to.

He probably regained his memory in some way and that was what led him down the spiral into abstraction, looking for a way out in any way he could.