#cw relationship issues

[nanamin-nah-nanamine]

TW: rant‼️

Basically recent life events and the reasoning why I probably won’t be writing as frequently. If you’re easily triggered by relationship issues and mental health this is nawt for you pookie stay safe🫶🏾

Y’all I just got out of a five month long relationship literally yesterday and I’m still processing so much of it. I thought the information I garnered yesterday was the end of it but turns out he’s just been playing pretend,using me to feel loved and said and quote “I thought you would catch on to me being unhappy” when I’m SO autistic and have told him many times that I need things spelled out for me. Like I don’t get undertones a lot of the time in day to day conversations and I’ve mentioned it so many times so now it hurts even more to know that the whole duration of the relationship my needs were just falling on deaf ears. And it sucks even more that I was being played like bozo the fucking clown the entire time simply because I couldn’t read between the lines of his bullshit.

Like I already have trust issues from previous relationships both romantic and platonic and this really nailed the coffin shut on that. It’s looking like it’s back to therapy for me to unpack this shit cause Jesus Christ.

Like y’all I want to be so fucking mean about him right now but it’s not in my character to hurt the people I love even though I really want to but I know better so I took the high road and it doesn’t feel good even though I told him about his ass.

Like I just want to snap and be a bitch and yell and scream but I’m too god damn nice to hurt anyone unless they’ve pushed me past my breaking point which has only happened once in my life despite everything I’ve been through.

Like it’s so jarring to think this was the man I was going to move in with and marry and have a family with only to realize his love for me was a lie because he was too much of a coward(his words) to let me go because he liked the way I made him feel.

No matter what I say or how cocky I get I am a LOVER and I am SENSITIVE y’all. Daughter of Aphrodite kinda shit. Been having crushes since I was four kinda shit. Thinking about marriage since I was eight kinda shit. I am a lover and a nurturer and sensitive and fragile and one hell of an empath which this world wasn’t made for so I’m fighting for my life.

Everyday I wake up and choose to be kind but it’s like a choice that isn’t mine because it’s etched into my being and comes as naturally as breathing. I hate being kind because it’s always been to my detriment but I will continue to do so because that’s what I’ve always done.

Im honesty just sick and tired of being hurt and I don’t even know what love feels like anymore.

I will continue to be a lover, and that will be the thing that ruins me.

Me if you even care btw

[ts-sides-head-canon]

Hey there, I might send in another post later, but I just have to share this. It's been in my head for half of the day. But first, this is mainly for a human AU, and also content/trigger warning for toxic and abusive relationships, self-image and romantic issues, and unhealthy dynamics with "intamacy". Part of me has no idea if this is gonna end up being deleted, but please let me know if it is. I just feel the need to share this.

I have no idea how much people realise the potential for creative twins angst with the song "Mad at Disney." There's so much potential angst you could dive into for both of them with their potential views on romance. I imagine that Roman would primarily sing the verses, Remus comes in for the pre-chorus, and they share the chorus.

For Roman, it could be him lamenting the fact that all his romantic relationships so far have been one-sided, the fact that he puts his heart in other people's hands only for them to have been using him for wealth, status or pleasure. The line "What the hell is love supposed to feel like?" being about how he's well aware of what it feels like to be in love, but not what it's like for that love to be reciprocated. The ending line "No more wishing on a shooting star" could indicate Roman completely giving up on love as he can't trust his own judgement and doesn't feel like anyone will ever be telling the truth when they say I love you back.

For Remus, it could be him lamenting that he's never going to be loved. He's constantly insulted and ridiculed by his peers, and the only people who are ever nice to him are only after a "good time." At this point, he's completely convinced that nobody will ever love him, so he avoids falling himself, even keeping affectionate things like kissing out of more carnal encounters because it's so connected with love. For him, the line "what the hell is love supposed to feel like?" means that he has no idea what it feels like to have the feeling that he even could be loved, that he's worth loving. The ending line "No more wishing on a shooting star" indicates that he's resigned himself to only ever being used for the pleasure of others, and the belief that he's never gonna be worth the time and effort of growing attached let alone falling in love.

I know this is kinda heavy, but I just can't help but imagine this. I didn't even listen to the song, it just popped into my head, and I was like, "Oh yeah, that's angsty. " It honestly could incapulate most of the issues that I give the twins romantically in human AU'S. Again, please let me know if this is too dark or sad or something like that, I sometimes have a hard time telling with these things. I'll probably have something more light-hearted later, so even if this doesn't make it to your blog, you can share that info dump instead.

HI! I am so sorry this took so long to answer properly. I am going to say for Remus's section that that's about as far as I'm going to let ventures into more NSFW topics go.

Anyways these are so sad dhdhdh.

[steddieas-shegoes]

pins and needles

for @steddiemicrofic prompt ‘pin’

388 words | rated t | cw: a/b/o dynamics, implied fertility issues, mpreg | tags: omega Steve Harrington, alpha Eddie Munson, established relationship, a rare omegaverse sighting from me what is happening

🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃🫃

Steve glanced at the clock again. The office closed in ten minutes. Maybe he should call.

“You gonna tell me why you’ve been on pins and needles all day?” Eddie asked around a bite of lasagne. Steve had yet to touch his own plate.

“I’m fine.”

Eddie’s eyes squinted back at him suspiciously. “You’ve been acting weird for days now. And you smell different.”

Steve’s breath caught at that.

He thought about the two positive pregnancy tests he took three days ago. He thought about how his smell would be different if he was pregnant.

But then he thought about the two negative tests he’d had that same day. That was what made him get his blood tests done at the doctor the day before.

They promised results by the end of today.

So maybe Steve was just a little bit on edge.

“Do I smell different? Really?” Steve asked.

“A little. Just a hint of some fruity smell? Can’t quite tell what it is, maybe a berry?” Eddie sniffed. “Blueberry?”

Just as Steve was about to admit to taking the tests without his mate, the phone rang. He jumped up and ran to grab it off the hook, barely even saying hello.

“Yes, it’s Steve Munson. Uh huh. Yes.” He could feel Eddie’s eyes on him from the table. And then the doctor gave him the best news he could’ve heard. “Really? I am?”

Eddie was suddenly behind him, probably sensing the shift in his tone, hearing the tears in his voice.

“Yeah, I can come in next week. Monday at ten sounds good. Thank you so much. Okay. See you then.”

He hung up the phone and turned to Eddie.

“What is it? Are you sick?” Eddie looked pale and his scent shifted to something laced with concern. “We should call Dustin. He has a friend who’s a doctor now.”

“Eds.” Steve grabbed his hands, pulled them to his still-flat but hardened stomach. “Baby.”

“What?” Eddie was still confused.

Steve covered his hands over his stomach and kissed his cheek. “We’re having a baby.”

They’d tried for nearly two years, almost convinced they couldn’t because of the bats in the Upside Down nearly eating them both alive. But now they were. They were gonna be parents.

Eddie looked down at their hands. “Holy shit! Really?”

“Really.”

[stil-lindigo]

seeing clearer

(sequel to another comic of mine, the calamity.)

--

all my other comics

store

[mamawasatesttube]

i was thinking further on how i could reconcile transmasc tim hcs with jack drake being the authoritarian republican parent that he is, and i think i figured it out. (cw for transphobia and deadname talk!)

tim, with a deadname of something like "jacqueline", aka "jackie", aka the tomboy girl who's almost as good as the son jack really wanted, who jack calls a total daddy's girl and brags about "li'l jackie" being named after him. except one day, when he's out of his coma and starting to recover and feeling soooo guilty for leaving his poor sweet innocent baby girl all alone after her mom's death... feeling guilty enough to even take her suggestion for which house to buy into heavy consideration...

and so "jackie" comes to him and says, hey, dad. can we talk about something? and explains that she actually wants to be a he. and jack's initial response of course is that this is ridiculous - is this some kind of grief response? except... the more she talks, the more it kind of makes sense. he has always wanted a son. and she's always been interested in boyish stuff. he thought that fixation on the circus kid from childhood was a crush, but maybe... she just wanted to be that kind of boy? and it's still not great, and he doesn't love it, but he supposes he can at least hear her out...

and the real final nail in the coffin is when she says dad, would you help me pick out a boy's name? if i'd been born a boy, maybe, what you and mom might've named me? and um... i was thinking i could maybe make my middle name something that can still shorten to jackie, 'cuz being named after you is important to me...

and what's an old pops who's been a little worried about bruce wayne replacing him as his kid's father supposed to do, when she--uh, he--flutters those big ol' baby blues at him like that?

now. here's the thing.

that was on purpose.

tim knows jack's been wallowing in guilt. that he's insecure about bruce. that he's always wished for a son instead of a daughter and that that is currently compounding the guilt he feels. tim is fully aware of all of this. tim is autistic with a special interest in "people" and he's completely cognizant of his father's vulnerabilities--a rare status that means he's actually listening more than he ever did before. and that's why he chose this moment to strike.

he is also going to have at least 4 minor existential crises over the next several months over the ethics of "was it wrong of me to knowingly and intentionally emotionally manipulate my father into being okay with me coming out?" but that's just how he is, i guess.

[gabessquishytum]

tw stepfamily fantasy, age difference. Human AU.

I promise this is Dreamling, stay with me lol

When Time dies, Night is eager to find herself a strapping young husband. Enter Hob, who has heard that the widow Endless is filthy rich. Don't get him wrong, Night IS a beautiful woman, but it's the money he's after. He charms her easily enough, and in less than 6 months they're married and living together in her huge mansion... it's only then that Hob gets to know her kids.

He knew she had 7 of them, of course, but, well, this is a lot. The eldest two seem well-adjusted enough, sort of, but they're early 20's and out of the house already? The youngest boy ran away from home and no one bothered to look for him. Del and Despair aren't getting any mental health care they seem to badly need. And then there's Desire and Dream.

Desire is beautiful and charming and smart as a whip, but they change sexual partners more often than most people do underwear and they're only 16. They love their twin but are awful to their other siblings and downright cruel to Dream.

And Dream... he's a piece of work, yes. But he's pretty. Just as pretty as his sibling, if not more. He's got a bratty cruelty that echoes Desire's but could still be corrected by a firm hand... He mocks Hob mercilessly for his humble origins and because Hob married for money, and to Dream's heartless mother of all people! He's so closed off to affection, shouts at Hob even while bursting into tears when Hob tells him Hob could at least be a friend to him, since 34 is a bit young to be a father figure to a teen. But oh, Hob can tell: this boy is so, so lonely. Dream wishes someone would take him, even if only for money...

Desire, of course, immediately figures out that Hob isn't actually in love with Night and promply tries to seduce him. Hob gently rejects them, of course, but they try again. And again. And again. And... well. And it's hard. It's really hard to resist them. They're really really beautiful, of course, and they're so good at this... but Hob's one braincell that's still getting blood knows better than to fuck a 16-year-old with that huge a cruel streak. That's just asking for trouble. And besides, Hob likes a challenge. Desire is just... too easy.

Dream, however... what a little temptation he is. He's so reserved. He tries to focus on his art. He tries to pay Hob little mind, but can't help to listen and smile at Hob's tales. He's gotten his heart broken more times than anyone should have any right to at his age, and is just as depressed as Despair and only marginally better at hiding it... Now, that's a challenge. And such an easy target at the same time. Seducing him would be so fun! Hob can just imagine how outraged Dream would be at first... but Hob can be convincing, and Dream so badly needs someone to want him. And Hob is so horny, with Desire touching him all day, whispering filth in his ear, trying to sext him and send him nudes. You see, Night has a pretty low libido, too low if you ask Hob, and Hob's hand is a poor substitute for sex with another person.

Hob doesn't want Night to divorce him, of course, so he's wary of looking for sex outside the house, afraid to get caught if he's out too long with no explanation (he doesn't need to work now after all) and he wouldn't stoop so low as to take advantage of the house staff...

Isn't it so convenient that Dream just turned 18?

-PA

(reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated)

Oh fuck oh FUCK this is hot. AND HEY PA ANON I MISSED YOU <333

Hob feels like he's living inside a powder keg, honestly. He thought that marrying for money and living a life of luxury would be wonderful, but now he even longs for a job that would just get him out of the house. He's trapped in horny hell and he's sure that he's going to do something terrible and/or stupid. As a last ditch attempt, he sweetly suggests to Night that the two of them could take a little vacation - just the two of them, to the gorgeous little tropical vacation spot that the family owns. Death and Destiny can watch over the kids, and Night can have a well deserved break!

Alas, she just smiles and kisses Hob’s cheek. Unfortunately she's far too busy for a holiday right now. But she encourages Hob to go and soak up the sun - he's starting to look pale and stressed, and she can't have her toyboy husband looking under the weather. Her one request is that Hob should take Dream with him. She's noticed that Dream and Desire's fights have been getting more and more serious recently, and she's tired of the screaming matches. Some time apart will be beneficial for the siblings. And it will make Night's life a lot quieter.

Hob can't backtrack now, so he agrees. And he's even more glad to get away, because when Desire finds out that Dream has been sent off on holiday with Hob, they throw an absolute fit. Naked. In Hob’s bedroom. Hob’s single braincell really needs to get out of there.

It's not like Dream is even pleased to be forcibly packed off on holiday with his "step-father". He spends the whole journey in snide silence, occasionally muttering under his breath about Hob being a total creep. (And he's right, because Hob is still shamefully horny about the beautiful 18 year old. He nearly embarrasses himself completely when Dream grabs his hand because they hit turbulence.)

But it's funny how you can hate someone and still want to fuck them. Older men were always Desire's territory, but Dream is starting to see the appeal. He's starting to think that his mother is a fool for letting Hob out of her sight. When he catches his first glimpse of Hob on the beach in his swimwear, Dream makes up his mind: he's going to be a bad person.

Hob fucks him for the first time on the beach-house balcony. There are stars above them, possibly - Dream doesn't really recall. He's sure that Hob recalls even less. He's desperate, primal, unhinged. He cums, and just keeps going until both of them are exhausted. Obviously somebody needs to take care of him properly, if this is how wound up he gets.

Well. The Endless family have always been fucked up. This is just another chapter in the story. Maybe Night will even be grateful to her son, for keeping her husband happy...

[qprconcepts]

qpp with eating issues x qpp also with eating issues

cw eating disorders / issues / problems

<3 everyone has their journey! my qpp has been helping me along mine, consistently. we will all be better and be okay! i’m always here for any one of you honeybees

[thedeafprophet]

Jamie's relationship to alcohol/drug is a complicated magter, even before...direct influence comes into play. So many factors come into play, many outside their own influence.

The social attitude at the time very much allowed them to be brought into contact with things at a younger age than they perhaps would have otherwise, not to mention how common it was in the social areas and artsy scenes they frequent, back on the surface and on the neath. It was and is practically expected of them.

We've all seen the texts about the bohemian faction after all.

This mixes rather poorly with Jamie's individual circumstances. Trauma and mental illness can make one vulnerable to these things. Combined with the unknown issue of highly impacting ADHD, Jamie leans often into fully unaware self medicating to help themself function in the day to day. A few times becomes habit, a process becomes routine, and they don't even realize what is ongoing until things are far, far too late.

And there's something to be said, for how those who are vulnerable and struggle with mental illness, can often be targeted by those who are predatory.

[sofiaflorina2021]

It's Better if My Mother Doesn't Know Much About Me

I don't like it when my mother thinks she knows everything about me. No, there are a lot of things she doesn't know about me and it's better if she doesn't know it all. Not necessarily if she knews he would understand, It will likely only make the relationship worse.

[pain-is-my-game]

It hurts finding out that your mother is abusive. Especially if you're autistic like me and you've only just now realized that your childhood was in fact traumatic. I feel so stupid. All these years have passed and I never knew. How come I never saw it when it's so obvious?

[calic0o]

I didn’t call any names but its Ghost x Soap !! I just.. don’t expect anything normal from me its either toxic or angst .

Cw// Toxic relationships!!

They fell back into place, thats how it worked.

They always fell back right into the shape. They fit perfectly to each other. It was like they were created by holy hands with such diligence and dedication that they were like puzzle pieces fit together. Puzzle pieces that made an entire puzzle complete.

But oh dear, the edges were sharp. The edges of the pieces were sharp, and more they held onto each other, more deeper they cut. Into themselves and to each other.

They would fight, a lot.

Not with shouting words, or violence. No.

They hit each other where they know would hurt the best. They spit out harsh words, bring out old habits, sorrows and remorses. The energy around them changes, the sweet, light eyes turn dark , filled with hatred. They look at each other like enemies.

An enemy who holds your heart. An enemy who knows your deepest, darkest secrets. An enemy so dangerous.

But it would never last long. They are too sickly in love for that. It doesn’t last long before something happens and they both forget about it. The darkness of the stares, glares and harsh words would get all forgotten. That’s just the way they are.

They always fell right back into place.

[obstinatecondolement]

The fact that Folger's adjacent themes in mainstream porn are so ubiquitous these days as to be unavoidable, but it's all so heavily caveated with "STEP-[whatever]" even when it doesn't make sense* is so funny to me. I think they should start doing it with other Problematic fantasies. "Relax, you're just my substitute teacher."

*Like, what is a step-aunt? Your step-parent's sister? Your parent's step-sister? Has this term ever been used outside porn?

[marbleheavy]

hmm question for all socialized as a teenage girl, did y’all hate your moms?

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

this rewatch of sdmi has so far been a combination of skipping around and watching straight through from the beginning, and my feelings are increasingly that shaggy, daphne, and marcie are precious and oh my god someone please get these poor kids away from everyone else in this cast

[ickypuppi3]

“you’d do anything i asked, wouldn’t you?”

“fuck off, harrington.”

“no, see.” steve presses his fingers into billy’s thighs “i don’t think you mean that. because” he stops to brush a kiss against billy’s jaw “you’d do anything i asked. anything i wanted. as long as it means i’ll pay attention to you. isn’t that right?”

“i fu- fuck- i hate you.”

“no. you don’t.”

he’s right. of course he is. and billy hates it when steve’s right.

[frodothefair]

CW: anorexia (not mine, other people's)

Today I found an anorexic person's blog, and scrolled through it for ten minutes with a sad fascination.

Then I remembered that I dated a man in college who said that he liked "anorexic looking girls." After we ended things, I shared what he said with a male friend, and the friend said, "yeahh, that's the kind of comment that would get you punched, because you're basically reveling in the fact that your loved one is hurting themselves." Something like that -- not his exact words, but that was the gist.

But I guess it made sense, in a way -- the guy I dated had his own body image issues, which he (unsurprisingly) projected onto me.

Sometimes you look back, and you think, "my goodness, I can't believe I wasted my time on such a person." But every relationship teaches you something in the end.

In this case, it taught me not to waste my time on assholes.