#dick: yes lois it is i. an old man.

[hood-ex]

omg i havent read any of the goatee moments issues that youve mentioned and it has me crying looking at his disguises 😂 why does he look like a decade older in all of them 😂

That means the disguises are working 😆. If you want to talk about older, check out Dick's bald cap disguise:

Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane #6

[ggomos-maribat]

8 | in which Bruce is not the only aspiring Marinette-adopter

Part 8 of No Mr. Wayne You Can't Adopt Me! | Masterlist

"A visit to the Kent family farm?" Marinette echoed, "This sounds like a family event only. Are you sure I should be going?"

"I know it sounds like I'm pre-adopting you—"

"Yes, it absolutely sounds like that—"

"But Dick suggested for you to come instead of him since he won't be able to come," Bruce explained. "Besides, Lois specifically asked for you."

Lois, huh. Marinette felt an incoming headache already. On one hand, a part of her knew she should be declining it firmly but it would be terribly impolite to turn down the invitation as well. It was a problem indeed.

But if I go, I can just stick to the Kents and avoid the Waynes, right? She wondered. It's free food too and I won't need to work on a Friday.

One work week later, she ended up squeezed inside a van with Bruce behind the wheel, driving to Smallville. She had a basket of pastries at her feet, window to her left and Damian on her right. Everything seemed to be going fine when—

Screech!

The car suddenly halted and before Marinette knew it, Damian's arm was in front of her to keep her from face-planting on the back of the car seat.

"Sorry! There was a dog!" Bruce apologized from the front seat.

"If you were gonna drive this bad, you should've let me drive instead," Jason groaned from the passenger seat, rubbing his head.

"Yeah, Bruce, you should've told us if you were gonna send us to an early grave," Stephanie piped up from the back. "Damn it Cass, we have to redo the cracker tower."

When Marinette took a peek, she saw that the girls were trying to pile up some Ritz crackers on top of a sleeping Tim's forehead. Tim (lucky for him) was just snoring away the whole time.

Bruce threw his second son a look. "We both know you're going above the speed limit if you drive."

"I only speed when I'm on my bike!" Jason denied. "I can definitely drive better than you, old man."

Marinette figured these were the effects of not having Alfred around. The butler had to go to the farm ahead of them in the promise of helping the elder Kents prepare. But Marinette knew Alfred just secretly wanted to escape the family's chaos.

"Are you okay?" Damian whispered beside her. She nodded and smiled in reply.

In fact, Marinette was about to open her mouth to offer to drive but then she remembered her agreement with Bruce: on the trip, she wasn't supposed to act as an assistant but rather a family friend. She sighed inwardly in defeat.

"Father, if you're already too old to drive, I can take over the wheel as well," Damian said.

"I'm not too old to drive." Bruce rolled his eyes. "It's fine, I can handle this."

"Famous last words," Jason scoffed. "If Dickie were here he'd arrest you for reckless driving."

"I'm not recklessly driving!"

Marinette withheld a chuckle. Seeing someone causing trouble for Bruce other than herself was amusing. She stretched as much as the small space allowed her and whispered to Damian, "Can I rest my head on you?"

He stared at her for a moment. "Of course."

Grinning, Marinette leaned her head against his shoulder. Their arms were only slightly touching but she could feel his warmth. From her position, she could see Bruce squinting at them through the rearview mirror.

"Bruce, eyes on the road please," Duke warned.

Bruce huffed through his nose but focused on driving.

"Why can't Clark take us there instead?" Stephanie complained, "It'll be much faster."

An image was painted in Marinette's head: Superman carrying the van over the skies while Bruce sulked on the front seat.

"He's busy," Bruce replied, glancing towards Marinette (probably checking if she found the statement odd). "Don't you think I'm perfectly capable of taking us there safely?"

"Nope," Stephanie responded.

"Ditto," Cass said.

Stephanie snorted out a laugh. "I only agreed to go anyway 'cause Kara and Lois are there."

"Ditto."

"Hey if he gets any worse at driving, I'll call Alfred and tell him we got kidnapped," Jason suggested.

"No, you're not," Bruce sighed in exasperation.

"Twenty-one crackers!" Stephanie cheered suddenly. "Agghh, hold it there Cass, I'm taking a picture!"

Marinette's gaze strayed downwards. Our hands are really, really close. Their knuckles are just barely brushing. Sucking in a breath, she moved her fingers to touch the back of Damian's hand. To her surprise, his hand wrapped around hers with his thumb rubbing her knuckles.

The car swerved again.

"BRUCE!"

"That's it, I'm calling Alfred."

"Fuck! The crackers!"

". . . Wha . . . huh? What's happening?"

***

"Where is she?! Where's Marinette?"

One of the things Marinette dreaded. Seeing Lois Lane-Kent again. The woman practically squeezed past the other Kent boys to lock her in a suffocating hug the moment she stepped out of the van.

"Marinette!" Lois said, pulling away and squishing her cheeks together. "Jeez, recommend an assistant job to a girl and she never reaches out anymore!"

"I answer your calls sometimes," Marinette weakly protested.

"But no visits." Lois turned to Bruce with an accusatory glare. "Are you overworking the poor girl?!"

"No, no, I'm fine." Marinette gently pulled away from her hold while Bruce escaped to help the others prepare the picnic table. "It's a great job, honestly. The pay is very generous."

"You know Marinette, Lois?" Duke asked as he helped unload another box from the van.

"You haven't told them?" Lois looked at her, and Marinette responded with a sheepish look.

Lois smiled proudly, wrapping an affectionate arm around Marinette. "I had the absolute honor of interviewing this girl about the Paris akuma attacks. She was the civilian aide for the heroes!"

"Lois," Marinette groaned.

"We kept in touch, and I was the one who suggested she get a PA job at WE when she moved to Gotham." Lois patted the top of her head. "Hmph, on second thought I should've kept you as an assistant for myself."

"I told you, journalism isn't my expertise," said Marinette.

"You're a brilliant girl, you can learn! If you stay in Metropolis, you can even live with us!"

Marinette's eyes widened in horror. "No please, I've had enough of serial adopters."

"What? Oh, is Bruce trying to . . ." She scowled at the girl's boss again. "I knew it! I knew this would happen, agh I shouldn't have sent you to him!"

"Lois . . . no, you can't legally adopt me . . ."

The woman's eyes gleamed. "But illegally?"

"You were a civilian aide?" Damian asked, staring at Marinette.

"No big deal. I just worked behind the scenes to help defeat Hawkmoth." She kept a wary eye on Bruce. If he were to find out, he will combust for sure . . . and become more adamant on adopting her.

"Read my article, you'll see how amazing she is!" Lois boasted.

"Lois, please," Marinette sighed. "I'll go set these up at the table."

Fortunately, a savior by the name of Ma Kent called Lois back to the house so Marinette was able to shake her off. She was grateful for the journalist, really—recounting what happened to Paris was no easy feat and often other reporters liked to focus on the heroes and villain only, not the trauma or lasting damage on the city. Lois even helped her settle in, lecturing her on the dangers of Gotham despite not being its resident.

But Lois was . . . the second one who expressed the desire of adopting her before Bruce.

"Didn't know the Waynes had a new one," a new voice said.

"Kon!" Marinette put down the basket and reached up to hug the boy. "I didn't know you're here!"

"When I heard you were coming, I knew I couldn't miss this." Kon raised an eyebrow. "You're such a traitor, Mars, you're one of them now?"

"Of course not!" She huffed. "I wanted to skip out on work and, er, Lois wanted me to come."

Another familiar face approached the two. "Full offense, but you look like you're part of the Wayne family now."

Marinette lowered her tone to a whisper, leaning to give Jon a side hug. "Mr. Wayne wishes." She rolled her eyes. "But he can't, obviously."

A few feet away from them, Clark fell into a coughing fit. Oops, he heard that didn't he? Marinette's cheeks reddened.

She had been visiting Metropolis during her third meet up with Lois. At that time, she had the two boys join them for lunch, and that was when Marinette got to meet them. Both seemed just as energetic as the Wayne boys, by her observation, but in a different way.

Jon threw an arm around her shoulder. "Hey, is it just me or Damian looks extra broody?"

"Probably . . . jealous?" Kon looked at the boy.

"Jealous of what?" asked Jon. Slowly, his head turned towards Marinette, seemingly coming to a realization little by little. "What? No way."

"Maybe . . . yes way." Marinette brushed a hand over her bangs. "There was this, um, thing on our way here you see."

"What is it? What is it?"

Marinette rubbed her heated cheek. "I'll tell you later!"

Just then, Clark came to the table to set down some glasses and utensils. "It's nice seeing you again, Marinette. You haven't run into another Batman-related trouble I hope?"

"Batman-related trouble?" Jon repeated, directing a curious look towards her.

"Nope, not at all," Marinette chuckled. "In fact, he stalked me one night in an empty street just to apologize."

Clark's eyebrows raised. "He did?"

"You never told us that!" Kon chimed in.

"I know, it's a long story." Marinette grinned evilly. "But I think it's best told over lunch with everyone."

***

"Tea or coffee?" Marinette asked her guest, who was sitting at her humble dining table, hands folded together.

"Tea please, my dear. I do miss your personal brew—it's one of a kind."

Marinette rolled her eyes as she grabbed a teacup from the upper cabinets. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

The guest tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "It's not flattery. It's only a comment."

Marinette prepared the tea diligently, and even brought out leftover banana bread she made for herself and her neighbors. From her periphery, she could see the woman looking over the photographs she had framed on the pastel walls. "There's too much of you who want to adopt me, you know," she said.

"Oh?"

"My boss and . . . Lois just the other day. I don't know if she was joking or not." Marinette scrunched her nose. "Seriously, legally none of you can adopt me."

"Who said I was going to do it by legal means?"

"Kwamis, don't say that, Talia. I think Bruce is an inch away from doing it under the table too."

With the tea and snacks prepared, Marinette put everything on a wooden tray she put together herself and brought it over to the table. If she anticipated Talia's visit, she would've cooked an entire meal. Alas, the woman popped up during the most unexpected hours.

"Your honey jar is very cute." Talia chuckled.

"Hmpf. It was a gift." A house-warming (or apartment-warming?) gift from Adrien: a custom transparent jar with a cat design painted on it. The top of the dipper's handle was carved out into a paw.

"How is Damian, by the way?"

"I thought you came here as a friend." Marinette crossed her arms. "It's not my job to keep tabs on your son."

"I know that, my dear, but he doesn't like seeing me . . ."

"Just talk to him." Marinette took a bite of her bread. "You know, the key to being emotionally constipated is to actually let it all out."

Marinette had met Talia al Ghul way before she met Bruce or any of the Waynes. She found out the woman's connection to them much later, however. After becoming guardian and losing Fu to amnesia, Talia had become somewhat of a mentor to her. Someone who taught her more about eccentric skills than magical knowledge and responsibility (the woman was crazy skilled in the most random things, it used to drive Marinette crazy). Since they'd parted aways after she graduated, Marinette saw her more like a troublesome aunt than a teacher.

"He has taken an interest in you, no?" The way her emerald eyes glittered spoke of her slyness. 

"Taliaaa," Marinette groaned.

"What? It is very funny how fate brought you two together." She sighed wistfully. "I never saw it coming."

"Do you seriously want me to be with your son just so you can make me your daughter?"

"What's the problem? You like him too, right?"

"Talia!"

She shrugged. "'I'm just saying I'm not opposed to the relationship."

Marinette rubbed her face, hoping to ease off the heat on her cheeks. "I thought you're here to see how I'm doing, not badger me about my love life. You're starting to sound like my mom."

Talia's grin grew wide. "Your mom?"

"Wait, no—"

Talia set her chin on top of her locked hands. "Would you like a League-themed wedding, my dear? Have a little blood pact mixed in?"

"Damian and I aren't even marrying!"

"Yet," the woman added. "I can't wait to have you in the family. I've got the perfect heirlooms to pass on to you. A sword, if you'd like or even a kunai."

"Oh, come on—"

"You have my complete blessing Marinette," she cooed. "In fact, I'd rather have Damian be with no one else but you."

Marinette stood up so quickly, red in the face, and her chair scraped the floor. "I'm going to bed."

Talia reached over to grab her hand. "Leaving your guest all alone! Where are the manners I taught you?"

"I'd actually love to chat if you have something else to talk about," Marinette huffed.

"Alright, alright, sit down. I'll behave myself, I promise." The former mentor smiled. Marinette narrowed her eyes. She should've closed her window that night.

***

After a debate with herself, Marinette decided to voice out her request to Bruce at the time she served coffee and snacks in his office. She was setting down his mug on a coaster when she popped the question: "Mr. Wayne, can I have next Thursday off? I can work on Saturday to make up for it."

Bruce looked up from his screen. "Hm? What for?"

"I've finally decided to let Lois adopt me."

"What?" Marinette had never seen Bruce so panicked. She didn't know if she should laugh or feel sorry for it.

"I'm kidding." She transferred the snacks next from the rolling cart. "Some of my friends are visiting Gotham, but their only free day is on Thursday. I haven't seen them in a while so I really want to catch up."

Bruce slowly regained his composure, clearing his throat. "Right. Of course you can go, Marinette. No need for the extra hours."

". . . Are you sure you'll be fine without me?"

"Yes, we have no meetings scheduled that day, do we?" Bruce waved the thought off. "Enjoy the day off. You deserve it."

***

It was Chloe who got them the reservations for their dinner: an open air chabudai-style restaurant that served Japanese cuisine. The tables were low, comfy enough for them to sit cross-legged on cushions while still keeping elegance.

Marinette sipped on her drink and nudged Luka with her shoulder. "You never told us what you were in Gotham for."

The now world-renowned musician ran a hand through his hair. "Dad's having a tour around the U.S. He wanted to check the venue here since this is the last stop. Our band's opening."

Marinette sucked in a breath. "Congrats, Luka! I didn't know about that, Jagged hasn't put out a commission yet!"

"Planning's still in the works." Luka smiled. "I'm sure Penny will reach out soon."

Adrien groaned and stretched his arms. "I'm so fuullll." He fell on his back, positioning his head on Marinette's lap.

"I told you to lay off on the maki roll," Chloe tsked to which Adrien stuck out a tongue in reply.

Marinette ignored the bickering pair and turned to Kagami. "What about you, Kags? Have you met up with your new student yet?"

"What new student?" asked Adrien.

"You're not reading the group chat, are you?" Chloe scolded.

"It's alright, I only mentioned it in passing." Kagami poured more cups of beer for Luka and Chloe. "A former coach told me about a rising fencing prodigy in Gotham. I wanted to take a look for myself if I can mentor them. Unfortunately there was an emergency at the airport earlier so I'm meeting them tomorrow instead."

Marinette grimaced, distinctly remembering that some Rogues had broken into the airport in the morning.

"Prodigy or not, the kid's gonna be an international level pro if you're the coach, Gami," Adrien pointed out.

"Hm. You have too much faith in me."

"What about you, Maribug? How's work?" Chloe directed her inquisitive gaze at the girl.

"Just the same old." With a little bit of something going on with my boss' son. "My boss still wants to adopt me, everyday's busy, sometimes I get caught up in robberies and hostage situations for a little spice."

"M'lady?" Adrien suddenly said in a soft voice.

Marinette reached down to stroke his hair. "What's up?"

"I think I saw something move behind the trees over there."

Marinette squinted into the dark, past the lantern lights. Familiar . . . shadows moved around, cloaked by the darkness.

"Oh hell no," she whispered. "What the fuck? Those are the Gotham vigilantes."

Adrien's lips shaped into an 'o'. "Ohhh, I think . . . I think they're here because of me."

"What?"

"Well, the small business I asked to do the landscaping for our runway event is Pam and Harley’s," Adrien explained. "I talked to them earlier and they got worried since it's my first time here in Gotham. They offered a security detail even when I said I didn't need any!"

"And that . . . security detail are the vigilantes?" Chloe stared.

"Guess so. Hey, do you think we should offer them some food?" Adrien sat up and waved at the shadows. "Do you think they'll join us?"

"Adrien," Marinette groaned. "Anyone but them."

"What, why?"

***

Meanwhile . . .

"Rob, you've been staring at Marinette and that guy for a long time."

"I am not."

"Are you jealous? She said they're her friends right? They must be really close."

"Tt."

Taglist: @hammalammadamdam @animegirlweeb @fairlyfatale @agentxx92

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

Me and Mr. Jones

Featuring actor, Eddie Jones

Back in 2003, I was working as a grip on a low budget film called Fighting Tommy Riley. It was 5 day shoot, but I was lucky enough to meet one of my favorite character actors, Eddie Jones. Best known to audiences as Superman’s adoptive father Pa Kent on Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, when Eddie was on set, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. When he was off-stage, his broad, bright smile would light up the room. He was a sexy man for his age of 69 with his broad face, imposing presence and solid build. When he was off-set, his broad, bright smile would light up the room.

Everyone who knew Eddie as a friend, or had the good fortune to share the stage with him, was touched by his gentle and generous nature. He was very nice and enjoyed the attention I paid to him. Actually talked to me. What had seemed like just a cute, older guy on set turned out to be a seriously hot daddy for which I was developing a major hard-on. I enjoyed passing the time by watching him work, fantasizing about him being naked.

How much of that fur, if any, spread across the rest of him? Did being big of stature mean he had a small dick or was he one of "nature's surprises" like I'd met once or twice? I really wanted a chance to find answers to these questions, but knew it wasn't likely to happen. He's married, but we all know that does not mean a thing.

That evening, after a very good meal in the dining car, I began the walk back to my trailer. I saw him at the other end of a narrow corridor. Slowing as we approached each other, we exchanged pleasantries.

"Hey Eddie." I said as we came up to each other.

"Hi there! Did you enjoy dinner?" He asked.

"Oh, yes. It was great."

"Good."

It was clear he was on his way somewhere, so I stepped back against one wall to let him by. It turned into to a moment I'd never forget. Not only did he fail to avoid brushing against me as he squeezed past, but he made a point of slowing down and actually pushing his ass into me as he slid by. There was a relaxed feeling to his butt muscles against my crotch. I immediately went hard. I don't think I'd ever gone fully erect that fast. Ever. I didn't even know a guy could.

After he slid past me he looked over his shoulder and smiled. This wasn't one of his professional "have a nice day" smiles. No. There was a distinct twinkle in his eye. He continued down the corridor leaving me standing there staring after him.

"I'll be checking on you around 8:30." Eddie said without looking back.

"Fine." I replied with a dazed grin. I continued down the corridor, trying to smooth out the bulge he'd left in my pants.

At 8:30 sharp, I lightly tap on his trailer door. The door opened to those sexy blue eyes looking at me as he flashed that warm smile again. Eddie made a quick check to see if there was anyone to see me enter before letting me in. While stepping in he closed, locked the door in a single motion and we fell into an embrace, sharing a long passionate kiss. We began frantically pulling off our clothes. I didn't know if he was eager or just didn't have much time to "fuck around" before going home to the wife, but he wasn't waiting for any conversation. And I certainly didn't mind.

As his shirt came off I saw that, though not quite as hairy as some of the "chubs" I liked to see, but there was plenty of body hair to enjoy. His forearms were thick leading to those masculine hands I'd admired earlier. I continued down his stomach until it ended in a mostly black bush above his rising cock. I quickly dropped to my knees and took his dick in my hands.

His cut rod had a thickness that filled my mouth nicely as I slid my lips over it and took it down to its base. He exhaled slowly as he stood there, his hands on my shoulders. I could smell old fashioned cologne along with his natural musk. My tongue worked his fully erect shaft as I moved slowly up and down. I pulled up again to enjoy a good look at his knob before licking around the tip.

I pushed Eddie toward a nearby couch and he sat down. He leaned back and spread his legs wide allowing me better access. I worked my tongue around his dickhead as my other hand was feeling the hair on his balls. They were much larger and heavier than I'd expected. I thought about what his load might taste like. I took his dick in my hands, stroking up and down as I worked my tongue down under his nuts. I gnawed gently here and there, slowing the pace of my stroking on his dick. He moaned a bit, then a bit more. After a delicious minute or two he suddenly exhaled, "No!"  

I was nearly knocked over as he jumped up. He was getting too close, too soon so I paused and waited for his cue. Whatever he wanted next, I was going to do my best to please him; not that I didn't have ideas of my own.

Earlier in the day I'd fantasized about what it'd be like to fuck him. Those fantasies were about to be realized as Eddie turned around knelt on the couch with his butt now at my eye level. I set in quickly on eating his ass. I covered his hole with my tongue and licked long, broad strokes up and down his crack. Starting low against the back of his balls and on up to where his crack ended at his tailbone. I continued slowly moving up then down again. He moaned deep and low. I could tell he was enjoying it as he squirmed a bit, pushing his ass back into my face.

I slid my tongue into his warm canal and continued to work my way in until I couldn't get my tongue in any further. Eddie continued moaning as I worked my tongue in and around. I felt him start to relax even more as he leaned forward laying his forehead on his folded arms, tipping his ass up a bit.

Eddie was breathing heavily when I finally stood up. He looked back without saying anything, but his sexy blue-eyed gaze told me he was ready for me to stick my cock in. I worked up some spit in my mouth, transferred it to my fingers and spread it around my fully erect cock. I set the tip against his hole and paused: this was the moment I wanted to last forever.

As the head of my dick slipped in he gasped. He was pretty tight and I didn't want to hurt him. So I kept the pressure constant while letting him take me in at his own pace, leaning back into me. Putting his hands against the back of the couch, Eddie rose up and pushed ass back and down on my dick. It was time to go in all the way.

"Yes…" Eddie moaned as he reached back to pull me against him, making sure I was all of the way in.

It looked so hot to see my cock was now firmly buried in. I pulled out and pushed back in. He turned back to face me again and I leaned forward to kiss him. We held a kiss as I worked his ass. He turned back to the wall and moaned as I continued, now moving a bit quicker. Every so often he would squeeze my dick with his ass muscles. I continued to pick up the pace. My fucking worked up to a solid rhythm, my balls occasionally slapping against him. He began moaning low. It was very quiet, but with an encouraging note. As I continued to fuck him his moaning grew louder. His ass felt so good that I knew I couldn't hold back much longer.  

I was about to pop as Eddie pushed back hard into me. That was my cue to go for it. It was only another three or four strokes before I slammed up against him and held myself there, my dick in him as deep as it could get.  

"Oh fuck!" I gasped as my cock began to throb, pumping my load into his ass. He was moaning and rocking, his warm hole enveloping my throbbing cock.  

"Yes! Yessss…" Eddie said, ending in a whisper.

As my cock's throbbing lessened and I started to go soft I reached around and under to jack him off, but to my surprise, he had already cum. So I slowly pulled out and stepped back. Eddie stayed kneeling laying his head back down on his arms. I stared at his hole, now visibly open wider than when I'd first gone down on it. I could see traces of my cum as I watched the hole pulsing along with his breathing.

[internalsealpanic]

Contrition

summary:  Dick tells Bruce he's a grandfather. It goes swell. a/n:  This part (part 2 two Convalescence )was made primarily because I did not have the heart to throw away the conversation I wrote for Reader and Bruce in my original draft of the fic. Clark being in this fic is also just me wanting to write Clark warnings: Everyone is a little shit, emotional conversations, very self-indulgent on my part.

"Clark."

Clark rubs his face, groaning at himself for answering. "Bruce, it's—" he squints at the clock— "It's 2—" he checks again and regrets it immediately—  "2:38. AM. Is it an emergency?"

Bruce goes quiet. The normally steady beat of Bruce's heart ratchet's up and so does Clark's. He's off the bed, floating and readying himself to zip to wherever the emergency is. Clark's nerves fray as Bruce struggles with his words. The worst possibilities flit through his mind.

"I'm—" Bruce's breath comes out harsh— "I have a grandchild."

Clark slowly lowers himself back onto the bed; he feels a little disoriented as the loud rush of blood in his ears dies down. "Congratulations," because that was the right thing to say but Bruce's pulse was still up to an 11.

"What do I do?"

Clark looks at the clock wearily, his few hours of sleep waning away with every syllable. This really is a conversation he's having at 2 in the morning. He can't exactly hang up on Bruce, not because the man owns the paper he works for but because Bruce is gonna keep calling people until he gets terrible advice. "Have you tried asking Alfred?"

"He laughed."

Clark pinches the bridge of his nose. "And you think I wouldn't do the same?"

"Why do you think I called you at 2 AM?" Bruce says, a grin creeping into his voice.

Clark suddenly remembers that no matter how old they get, Bruce Wayne is a little shit. There is a vein in Clark's forehead that is threatening to burst. Beside him, Lois stirs, rubbing the sleep out of her narrowed eyes. Clark kisses her forehead apologetically. She rolls her eyes and motions for him to put Bruce on speaker. Clark chuffs but does it anyway.

"It shouldn't be too different from having kids, right?" Clark says, wrapping an arm around Lois.

"How would I know?" Clark's forehead creases with the real irritation bleeding into Bruce's normally flat tone. "Clark, am I on speaker? I can hear Lois trying not to laugh."

Clark glances at Lois whose face is buried in his shoulder. "Sort of."

"Clark."

Lois grabs the phone. "Brucie, you forfeited your right to privacy the moment you decided to call at 2 AM."

Bruce replies to this by grunting.

"So off the record," Clark glances pointedly at Lois who holds her hands up innocently," who's the new parent?"

There's a long enough pause that Clark considers hanging up.

"Dick."

This time there's a long pause from Clark's end which is abruptly cut off by a string of not-curse-words from Clark and whispered cheers from Lois.

"What was that?"

"Sorry, I just signed myself up for two months of dishes," Clarks says rubbing his face.

"Did you just bet on my children?" There's no anger in the words, just abject confusion.

"Yes but tell Dick congratulations for us... You did congratulate him, right?"

"Sure."

"Bruce."

Bruce sighs. "He called me and I reacted by hanging up."

"You what?!"

Lois is full-on laughing at this point.

"Bruce, you hung up on Dick when he was trying to tell you he has a kid," Clark says slowly.

"Clark, this wasn't an infant. The kid looked 3."

Clark takes a moment to let the information settle and now he understood the apprehension in Bruce's voice. All Clark could say was "you didn't think to lead with this?"

"Sorry let me start this conversation over. Hello Clark, my boy has a 3-year-old child after being a childless bachelor the last time I saw him. Does that work better?"

"It sounds like a terrible headline," Lois pipes up.

Clark hums in agreement. "I would probably save that for the body paragraphs."

"I'm being serious, you assholes."

Clark heaves a breath and rubs his face again. "You have talked to Dick again after that."

"No."

"Bruce."

"I know. But I don't know what to do."

"Talk to him? Check on him?"

Why was this so hard?

This isn't rocket science.

"It's not that simple," Bruce chuffs.

Clark draws in another breath. Rocket science. Bruce can do rocket science but broaching emotional subjects is objectively hard for a man who has more than 5 kids. "We are going to Bludhaven," Clark grunts, shoving socks on his feet, careful not to tear them because darn it Bruce.

"Clark, no."

"Get dressed, I'll be there in," Clark looks at his phone, "a couple of minutes." He shoves a sweater on, not even mildly concerned about the fact that he might have put it on the wrong way. He did but Lois isn't going to tell him that. He'll figure it out eventually.

"It's 3 in the morning."

Clark pauses, very close to lasering his own phone. He pushes the urge down, settling for shooting back a quick "I'm sure he's awake." Dick won't be happy but Clark thinks he can handle a grumpy Dick. Not the first time.

The lines of your vision are starting to blur, still, you keep them on the steady rise and fall of August's chest. Your own chest feels tight. It's probably the only thing keeping you awake. The flashcards for your presentation today lay forgotten on your lap as you sing to August, melody quiet and almost imperceptible against the droning of machines around you.

"Are you really singing Black Parade in a hospital?" Dick chuckles, handing you a much-needed cup of coffee.

You accept it gratefully, smiling at the steam rising from the cup and avoiding his eyes. You've already seen the bruising under his eyes and the guilt bubbles up under your skin. "What else do you want me to sing?" you laugh tiredly, rubbing your hand over August's chest, feeling the slow beat of his heart, desperately trying to push down the feeling of being overwhelmed by Dick. This wasn't the right time for it.  August needs you to be ok today.

This isn't made easier by Dick sitting next to you, his warm comforting presence lulling you. The tiredness seeping in through the cracks, your shoulders slump. You feel like crying. You just want to hold August and make him feel better. You just want him to be ok. You wish you could make him be ok. You wish you didn't need to rely on Dick so much. You wish you could just stay awake.

There's a hand on your shoulder and when you look up you're met with Dick's concerned face and your heart drops to the floor.

"Hey," the word is soft and you have no idea how Dick is allowed to put you at ease with just one word. Dick doesn't even say it a particular way. It's just his 'hey' and the world feels mildly more alright than it is. "You look like you're gonna keel over."

You set the coffee on the table, your flashcards spilling to the floor. 'I'm fine' would just make Dick frown at you. 'Don't worry about it' will inevitably lead to an argument. 'Please don't' is what you want to say but that's a bad idea on multiple levels and you're not emotionally, mentally, or physically equipped to deal with the fallout of making Dick more worried than necessary. Instead, you lay your head on his shoulder and try not to sob.

Dick wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer and planting a kiss on your forehead. "Doc said he was gonna be ok," he says, squeezing your shoulder. "Says the My Chemical Romance songs helped."

You sniffle, slapping his thigh half-heartedly. "Did you check if he was actually a Doctor?"

"Pretty sure," Dick hums, resting his head against yours. "Think his name was Dr. Sexy."

Your constricted throat lets out a wheeze of a laugh. Pressing your face into Dick's neck, you try to muffle hysterical laughter. Dick's ears turn pink but he focuses on laughing into your hair. The joy and relief of laughter blankets the room, easily rising over the drone of the machines around you.

In the bed, August stirs, his little body shifting under the sheets. Your breath stutters as he moans, face squishing into the pillow. He flails his hand as if to tell you to be quiet. A hush falls over the both of you and once again the room only has room for the beeping of machines.

When August is once again on his back, you let yourselves breathe out loud. Dick squeezes your shoulder and smiles at you. In a low voice, he says, "Go home. I can take care of him."

You freeze. "Dick," you chew on your thoughts before pushing out the rest of your sentence. "I can't. I have to—"

"Rest, so you can prepare to rock that presentation," he says squeezing your hand. He brushes strands of your hair out of your face. "We're ok here. Promise. I'll call you if something happens. Just... just get some shut-eye, yeah?"

You sigh for the hundreth time that night. "I owe you."

"I take cash."

"Do you prefer stripper dollars?"

"No, but I will take Smart Cow coupons."

You snort. "Oh, of course."

"Ok, so I love you guys but why are you here?" Dick sighs, unconsciously pulling the bundle of blankets in his arms closer to his chest. In Dick's living room, Bruce and Clark are calmly sitting on the couch like functional humans (previous evidence points to the contrary) while in his kitchen, Duke, Damian, and Jason are all mixing different concoctions and with the pantry wide open, Dick can only guess what unholy abominations they're all cooking up.

August whines softly, burrowing deeper into the blanket, feeling cold from the hall. Dick shuts the door quickly and softly.

"Hi to you too, Dickweed," Jason says around a mouthful of brioche.

Dick debates on whether he actually needs to cover August's ears for that one probably not but it doesn't hurt to be cautious. "Hi. Now, answer my question."

They all share a look and the first to pipe up is Bruce. "You called."

Dick rattles his brain to try and remember when he called and what for.

"To tell Bruce about August," Clark adds helpfully.

Duke squints at Dick. "You told him via call? Wouldn't it be better to see his shocked expression in person?"

Bruce flings Duke a look which, through years of hard work (aka asking Dick), Clark roughly translates as 'whose side are you on'. Duke grins and shrugs.

"I can't screenshot Bruce's face in real life."

"Photos are a thing, Richard."

Dick rolls his eyes, adjusting his hold on August. "Yeah well, I can't hang up on him in real life."

“He does it to Commish a lot . I think you've noticed."

Jason has a fair point but that is once again too much effort and that still doesn't answer why all of them are there. He gets Clark. Bruce wouldn't be here looking like an Irish Setter otherwise but what are the other three doing here? "Don't you have school," is the first thing he asks because he apparently doesn't look like enough of a dad already.

His siblings are nonplussed by this, more annoyed honestly, but Bruce and Clark look like a torpedo just launched out of his chest cavity.

"We heard about Father's trip here."

"Squirt here was worried," Jason adds, ruffling Damian's hair. The kid looks like he's gonna tear Jason limb from limb and it occurs to Dick that maybe Damian and August will either get along swimmingly or murder each other.

It warmed Dick's heart but he had to school his features back into his best Alfred impression he could pull off. "That doesn’t explain why you all came," he says, snuggling August further into his arms.

Bruce sighs, "I honestly don't know."

Clark elbows him then turns that very Midwestern smile on Dick. "Bruce wanted to meet August."

"And I was listening in on B's calls," Jason admits.

Dick opens his mouth but Jason supplies, sweeping his hand over to Damian and Duke, "then I kidnapped these two from school."

Damian huffs imperiously.  "What Todd means is that Duke and I demanded to come with him and he obliged."

Under duress, Dick thinks but still, he smiles at them. "Ah ok, but August is a little sick so he might not be up to really talking," Dick says walking over to the living room. August isn't heavy per se but he's not keen on stressing out his muscles more than strictly necessary.

"That's fine," Damian crosses his arms.   "Children that age often have nothing intelligent to say."

August chuffs in protest.

Duke laughs. "I'm not convinced  you were ever that small."

Damian refuses to dignify that statement. Instead, he looks over August and raises a brow. "Richard, have you given him some medication?"

Dick tries not to be offended. "The hospital gave him some. Doc just said he needed rest," he says, flopping down beside Bruce who still looks like he's been drained of blood.

August looks so soft swaddled in the blanket. It makes Bruce's heart hurt and lets him ignore the fact that it is actually a Green Arrow blanket. Dick eagerly awaits for him to notice.

Bruce's movements are stiff and awkward as he reaches to touch August. You would think Bruce was reaching for a bomb. Brushing August's hair away from his face, Bruce can say with absolute certainty that the resemblance is undeniable. His mind floods with memories of Dick as a child and how small he'd been when he first came to the Manor. It strikes him again that Dick is an adult now and with a child and the feeling of vertigo hits him again.

August's face is crunched and annoyed. He turns away, ducking into Dick's chest.

Dick chuckles. "He's grumpy when he's tired."

"Bruce is like that too," Clark says, earning a scowl from Bruce.

Dick laughs softly and presses August into his chest tighter.  "He’ll be ok by morning, well, he’ll be a lot better." Dick debates on whether to warn them about August's forwardness.

"He looks just like you," Bruce says stupidly.

A loud snort erupts from the kitchen.

"That is how genetics works, Bruce," Clark says with a voice that sounds a little amused. Bruce snaps his mouth shut before he can say anything August will remember.

Dick shrugs. "I dunno, he looks a lot like his mom to me." He brushes his knuckle against August's cheek, looking down fondly at the boy.

Bruce bristles remembering why he had so many reservations about coming here. He didn't exactly have kind words for you.

"There is a mother," Damian says incredulously, opening his palm and waving it at Jason.

Jason hands over a five begrudgingly. "Are you sure he isn't a clone or an impostor?"

"He isn't," Dick scowls then the expression immediately slides into being sheepish, "I checked."

Clark looked at him mortified.

"He's kidding," Duke assures. Bruce, Damian, and Jason look doubtful, forcing Duke and Clark to turn to Dick. Dick is not helpful when he tosses them an innocent smile. "You are kidding, right?"

"I did one test," Dick says quickly. Clark buries his face in his hands. They dissolve into a debate on which test was best suited to trying to determine whether August was evil which in turn resulted in Jason and Damian being convinced that the kid is in fact evil but evil in the way Dick is.

Stumbling out of the cab, you nearly slip on the sidewalk, clucking your tongue as you right yourself. All you want to do is chuck your heels at someone, specifically the board reviewing your thesis, but scooping August up into your arms and peppering your face with kisses sounds much more appealing.

The elevator ride is awful.

The click of your heel is as endless as the ride.

At some point, you take your heels off and stuff them in your bag. Your foot continues to tap against the metal, head falling as you press your back against the wall. A different kind of nervousness settles into your bones.  You're not blind. You've noticed how Dick has been looking at you and how his jokes have become flirtier and it scares you. Biting your lip, you draw in your breath. You've thought about it. You brush your hair back and feel your stomach flip. It's all too much. Dick has always been overwhelming but the fact that he can look at you like that after what you did— Damn it, Dick.

You fish the spare key out of your coat. Dick had the audacity to give you the Nightwing design but you partnered it with a Flash keychain just to be petty. It is extremely petty but fuck it.

The door is unlocked.

Your stomach drops.

What if they're in danger?

You push the door in quietly, your breath frozen in your chest. The knot in your stomach tightens the release when you hear laughter and bickering but then the knot tightens into a choke hold when you see the people in the living room.

An itch ripples all over your skin, and the oxygen in your lungs burns up and snuffs out.

Suffocating.

That's the word. You're suffocating as the room shifts their focus from August to you. You feel the pressure bear down on you and you feel like you're going to fall through the floor and land straight down to the basement of the building.

"Hi," you choke out, repressing the urge to slam the door shut.

Bruce is giving you that cold look and the urge returns with a vengeance. The only things that keep you in the room are Dick's smile and the little whine August gives.

You answer mechanically to whatever questions they have as you stumble towards the kitchen.

You can feel Bruce bearing down on you as he walks up behind you.

"How are you?" You ask, desperately keeping your hand steady as you add another spoonful of chocolate powder. You don't dare look at Bruce even as he settles next to you.

"Good."

You sigh inwardly; wrenching your gaze from the countertop, you glance at the glass of the cabinets. "It looks like everyone's excited to meet August."

Silence.

"Dick's contending for dad of the year and I think—"

"How old is August?"

Your hands shake but you try to answer with as even a voice as possible. "5 as of 3 months ago."

The anger is palpable from Bruce and you feel yourself shrinking as it grows in intensity. You look at the space where Dick should be to calm yourself down. It works and you hate that it works.

"5 years."

4, you want so desperately to clarify. You don’t, so you and Bruce continue to stew in silence. You tilt your head to look over at Dick. Dick mouths 'help me' from across the room. You raise your thermos to him and mouth 'suffer', the corner of your lip curling sharply. Pouting, Dick mouths 'I hate you' but his eyes say something else entirely. The look that passes between the two of you is familiar. It's cast in the same shape as the puppy looks you gave each other when you were younger but something has shifted. The bedrock of that new look is something else entirely.

Bruce pauses.

He knows that look and knows it well.

Your tunnel vision widens to the tangled crowd of batbrats (plus Superman) fussing over the bundle of blankets laying next to Dick. You smile as August wraps his arms around Dick, face half-buried in his dad's stomach. You're sure it's the hot cocoa that's warm in your stomach.  

Even the large wall named Clark Kent doesn’t stop you from staring so fondly at the space and Bruce is forced to concede. The turmoil in his gut, still acrid but low enough to look at this objectively. "One of us can watch over him while you two go on a date. I don't advise leaving him with Jason... or Tim... or Cass... I'll ask Alfred if he'll help me with babysitting."

Your heartbeat stops and the blood in your veins turns sluggish and cold and deeply uncomfortable. "Me and Dick..." Putting yourself in the same sentence felt wrong. "We—" This feels like an even worse substitute. "Mr.–" Bruce frowns so you walk yourself back. "Bruce, I think you misread... Dick hasn't..." Hasn't what? You shut up because you can't seem to think of a coherent sentence.

You wet your lips. This isn't hard. There's a good reason you never made a move. There isn't a move to be made.  "We're just getting to know each other all over again and... and I don't know if I'm—" You stop once again, a rush of words plugged up by the heart-clogging your throat.   You put your hand over your mouth. The unnamable insecurities lingering in your throat are barbed. You try to swallow them down to make room for facts. You start slow, words coming as a drip. "Dick gives as good as he gets. Maybe he gives a little too much." Your eyes fall down to your hands, looking at the lines and calluses. "I'm... Bruce, I'm not it. I'm not what he needs and I don't—" You breathe, feeling your eyes sting. You can't bear to look at Bruce because you know he of all people can see that.

A choked laugh bubbles up next to you. You're honestly not sure you can call it a laugh. It's more like a wet bark. You hazard a lookup and see Bruce politely trying to hold in laughter. You have no idea whether being offended is appropriate or if you should search for another emotion.

"You two are a match made in hell," Bruce says, finally managing to control the barking.

"Sorry?" This is not the correct reply but it was a hell of a lot better than just staring at Bruce goggle-eyed.

Bruce shakes his head, trying to school himself.  "You know he still loves you, don’t you?"

You flinch.

That was not the reaction Bruce was hoping for.

Most of his amusement fades away.  "I don’t think he’s ever stopped loving you…" He says, eye-sliding over to Dick who is trying his level best to fend off the chicken soup from hell that Damian made.

You let out a soft, tired laugh. You're pretty sure that it would be like Dick to keep loving someone even if they were a complete shit bag like you.  "He really is stupid that way, huh?”

"Sometimes. It—he was learning and he made mistakes... Some of them my fault—I put him under pressure." Bruce rubs the back of his neck and has this look on his face that is too reminiscent of Dick and it makes your heart hurt.

You know what Bruce is thinking. He must think you're still mad at Dick. He's trying to mollify you and it stings. You push against the countertop, pivoting to face Bruce because you need to make this point crystal clear.

"Bruce. I've forgiven Dick a while ago even before bumping into him and..." You had a point but it's hard to keep it when it's so tethered to this nebulous feeling of being angry and when the feeling just slips away when Bruce gives you that earnest look. The feeling of irritation you felt suddenly feels misplaced. "Bruce," you try again. "I know he loves me and that's the problem."

Bruce gives you the most confused look in existence.

You rub your hand over your face. "That's just it. I don't know if he loves me just because of August." Instinctively, you grip your wrist. "I don't want him to love me because it's good for someone else."

Bruce frowns. "Is that what you think?"

You force yourself to breathe because the answer on your tongue is so hard to put into actual words.

What else is there, you think.

When you look up again, Bruce looks like he just aged twenty years. You wince, wanting to apologize but it's still too hard to breathe, so you save the oxygen and let him speak.

Bruce flat out refuses to believe that he is actually the emotionally intelligent one in this conversation. This is not what is happening.

"You think Dick," Bruce pauses trying to think of how to articulate this, "you think Dick is in love with you because you think he has to?"

The way your head drops is answer enough.

He will one day laugh about this.

"Dick isn't an idiot."

"He isn't," you agree, "but he leaves his heart out for people to pick at. We both know he's not good at emotional insolation and this is the kind of crap he would do."

You're not entirely wrong. Bruce rubs his temple and he distinctly remembers having a conversation with Dick about how you were bound to figure out his secret identity a long while ago. You're too sharp and too dull at once.

"Do you still love him?"

Every angle in your body sharpens, looking ready to stab Bruce if he says anything else. Your shoulders rear up and it takes so much in you not to scream at Bruce. "Of course, I do."

"Is it because of August?"

"Bruce, not falling and staying in love with Dick Fucking Grayson is so much harder than resisting gravity. And no, I don't love him because we have a kid together. I could set the world on fire for that kid but—" Your breath hitches and you feel your eyes prickle. Your vision is murky and fuck, you hope you weren't shouting.

A warm hand rests on your shoulder. You push it away half-heartedly. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't budge. You rub your eyes. "That's a dirty trick."

Bruce squeezes your shoulder. "It worked."

"Just because I feel that way doesn't mean Dick does."

Bruce huffs. "What if he does? Give it a chance."

"I'm scared," you admit, voice hoarse and fragile like breaking glass. "Bruce, I can't be good enough for him or August. I can't. I'm not."

Bruce sighs again for what seems like the hundredth time in this entire conversation. You can't blame him. You're not even paying for this therapy session. Neither of you is drunk enough for this conversation.

You make a mental note not to get buzzed in front of Bruce next time.

You're glad for Bruce's ability to just exist in a room for once. You don't need him to fill in the silence, wanting it to be as loud as it can while you try to ignore the tears that are springing up in your eyes.

You pivot away from him and this time his hand simply falls away.

"You're not a horrible person. You're better than you think you are."

You tip the thermos against your lip. "Should he really be settling for mediocre?"

"Have you tried to call yourself mediocre in front of him?"

You smile up at Bruce. "I'm really fond of not having my head bitten off, thanks."

Bruce quirks his mouth and you want to punch him because you don't know whether his similarities to Dick are intentional. It's funny how people can be so similar even when they're not related. The bitterness from your smile slips a little when you think of how Dick's habits are starting to creep into August's.

That stupid quirk of his lip for example.

You pinch the bridge of your nose.

Bruce's hand is on your shoulder again and this time, it's gentle and barely there and good lord, this man wants you to rip him an entirely new asshole.

You stagger that feeling and place a hand over Bruce's.

"You trust Dick, so trust that he knows what he feels," Bruce says, squeezing your shoulder. You squeeze back but still you're not entirely convinced. Bruce knows it'll take time and knows that there is a real possibility that you'll hurt Dick again. Not the same way as before but something.

Bruce pats your back, feeling a little awkward now that the emotions are beginning to plateau. "Were you really never planning to introduce them?"

You laugh breathlessly, scrubbing the heel of your hand against your cheek. "Listen, I have no clue what Dick has told you about my social skills but I'm the kind of person who would rather not show up to a lecture than show up late." Straightening up, you stretch and shake, trying to slough off the excess energy living under your skin. You cup your hands on the curve of your neck and look straight at the crowd again, not willing to let Bruce see the puffiness of your eyes. "I tried once... During my pregnancy, I tried to tell Dick and... that resulted in me slamming my smart phone like it was a land line." The laughter that trails the sentence is flushed and you kind of wish you hadn't said anything.

"I can't tell if you're joking."

You want the ground to swallow you. "I wish I was. I had to ask my folks to lend me money for a new one." You angle your body away a little more, knowing outright stepping away is too obvious. "It... wasn’t my proudest moment."

Bruce crosses his arms.  "Which part? The new phone or not telling Dick?" The archness of the statement was unintended.

"Both?"

The nervousness is obvious in your voice. Bruce has to play at damage control before anyone notices and by anyone he means Dick. The obvious wince Clark does makes it pretty obvious that he heard some of the conversation. "You haven't told Dick about it, have you?"

"I'd rather die than give him another karaoke incident," you say, turning to him, posture a lot less braced.

Bruce and Clark's shoulders both fall with relief. "How did you run into each other?"

"Well..." Your hand is on your wrist again but your smile is wry. A fond memory then. "August and I were in the grocery store because I bought the wrong flavor of frosted flakes and Dick was kind of there looking at the gross healthy cereal." Your nose scrunches but still, your eyes are crinkled and your mouth is quirked. Bruce nods and when he turns to ask his next question, you're already piecing together your answer.  "He did not vault over the shelves."  This garners a soft snort from Bruce. You look up to the ceiling, your chest feeling oddly loose. "He kind of went into autopilot as soon as he saw August. I think he was trying to analyze the kid to see if he was an alien. August hated that. The kid doesn't like being stared at.” Bruce hums in contemplation. “Unlike me, he’ll bark at you to quit it,” you laugh, the volume rises a little and the sound finds its way to Dick’s ears, snapping his attention towards you.

Dick leans and gets suspicious as soon as Clark starts actively trying to block his view. He narrows his eyes at Clark who moves his shoulders in a vaguely apologetic gesture. Dick's heart drops to the floor, noticing for the first time that Bruce wasn't there.

Shit.

Dick hooks his hand underneath August's arms, pulling the kid up to rest his head on his chest. August whines and thumps at his chest weakly but in a matter of seconds, he's asleep again. Carefully, he tugs him off and hands him to a very reluctant Clark.

"Did I miss anything?" Dick asks, his hands on his hips. You and Bruce share a look. Your head drops but there is a shared laughter which is frankly concerning in Dick's opinion.

Bruce looks between the two of you and after a moment, he pushes off the island, brushing past the accusatory look Dick gives him. He makes his way to the couch to make sure Jason hasn't imparted his wisdom yet. Clark wastes no time handing August off to Bruce who is frankly terrified the moment the sick five-year-old's body feels too light in his arms. Duke gently reminds him that August is a normal-sized child and Bruce is a mammoth of a man.

"You ok?" Dick asks, settling next to you, rocking on his heel unsure of how much space you needed.

You answer by leaning into his space, letting out a shaky breath. "Bruce does not get any less terrifying does he," you say, running a hand over your face.

Dick chuckles. "I'm gonna level with you I'm not a good judge of that," he says, testing his luck with how much space he can take up. You don't pull away and his heart flutters.

You laugh softly. "Because he's protective of you. Imagine being on the other end of that."

Dick blinks, looking adorably confused. "He gave you the talk?"

"No... sort of... He gave me a talk and it gave me a lot to think about."

Dick's organs pool beneath his feet and he turns to you.  "Whatever Bruce said—"

"I want to make it work."

Dick falls silent. The pages of prepared responses collapse into a heap. The pieces are all indiscernible and Dick highly doubts that he can form a response from the rubble left behind.

You turn to face him fully, fists clenching and unclenching. "Not just co-parenting but ... us. I want to... what I mean to say is..." Your eyes snap shut and you take a breath to keep the oncoming panic attack from flooding in.

He takes your hand in his and cups your face with his other hand. Dick feels overwhelmed and thrown off balance but it's not unpleasant. It's the feeling you get after releasing your fist after clenching it too hard. His chest fills with more hope than he's allowed himself over the last few months.  "We should go out sometime?" He tries, stroking your cheek.

Your eyes flutter open, letting yourself see his eyes. "Ah, yeah. That would be nice." You kick yourself for such a smooth reply while Dick kicks himself for such a debonair way of asking you out. This all occurs while the crowd on the couch watches on.

"They're so dumb," August wheezes quietly into Bruce's chest.

[zahri-melitor]

Hi! How and when did you get into DC comics?

Well my original entry to DC was that I was a fan of Lois & Clark: the New Adventures of Superman when I was a kid and it was originally showing. This actually was a decent entrypoint to the DC mythos, as it's famous for having probably the best TV-comics synergy of all time: the Death of Superman was written to have a plot running while Lois & Clark built up to the wedding, so they could do simultaneous weddings in the comics and the show.

It worked out pretty well for DC.

But DC Comics, as comic books? Well somewhere around 2006 or so I'd transitioned into reading some fic for Lois & Clark, as a change. I then moved on to stories about Bruce/Selina (which I had a reasonable amount of background for from the Burton & Schumacher movies), and ended up in the scans_daily scene on LJ. This was the heyday of scans_daily, when you could pretty reasonably follow along a lot of major comics via the 1/3 posting rule; you didn't get everything, but that plus the summary got you across events pretty well.

I'd liked Barbara Gordon as a little girl, watching the movies. It was at this point I discovered Oracle.

The first comics graphic novel I ever purchased was Birds of Prey: Perfect Pitch. I've still got it. I ended up reading a bunch of runs recommended via content I liked on scans_daily: Birds of Prey, Robin, No Man's Land, Nightwing, Batgirl 2000, Blue Beetle, and Young Justice. A couple of these I was buying trades for (BoP and Blue Beetle); the rest I was reading via ye olde torrent packets. I was also reading and collecting a bunch of Vertigo titles: The Sandman, Fables, Y: the Last Man, and one or two Marvel titles (Runaways and Power Pack).

I dropped out of DC fandom, like so many others, around 2010-2011. It was actually prior to n52 in my case: I wasn't enjoying Batman Reborn, they'd cancelled my two favourite books (Birds of Prey and Blue Beetle), but the last straw was probably when they murdered Lian Harper.

I noped out. And it was a pretty good call on my part, given that n52 was barrelling down anyway.

I was still occasionally dipping in to read fic, mostly about characters I particularly cared about, but every time I took a breath and paid attention to gossip about what was currently happening in comics, it was mostly terrible news (Lian was still dead; people told me Roy's personality had been obliterated; Barbara was Batgirl and magically healed; the universe resets sucked and everyone hated them; Jason was somehow still alive; everyone was mad about something that had happened to Dick; etc etc)

It was during 2022, when I don't even know how I came across it, but I discovered that DC had finally reprinted Young Justice in trade. This was huge; collections had refused to do this during the 2000s aside from a trade of Sins of Youth back when it came out. There was a general attitude that the group of largely younger and largely female fans weren't worth catering to. The fact that DC now saw us as a lucrative market suggested to me that my contemporaries were finally getting their chance to start running the asylum.

So I dipped back into the community. It was a little hard at first, because hubs had changed, and locating fans who liked the things I personally liked took a little while. But I got back into the fandom, and got back into the fic, and discovered that back in about 2017 there'd been a revival to start reprinting a lot of my favourite comics runs, and that DCUI was the best way to read comics these days, and I could get access to it in Australia.

And because DCUI was just so much better than the methods of reading comics I'd been dealing with 15 years previously, and I'd had an idea for a story I wanted to write, I started a canon read through review, starting all the way back in ALPOD with Tim's earliest comics.

And here I am. I often have older opinions on things simply because I remember being in these debates 15+ years ago, and then I missed the intervening period, so my opinions never updated or heard the changed details (or are only slowly doing so now). I'm a preboot girl at heart because that's where I fell in love with various characters. I, like every other Batfan with a similar history to mine (and there are a lot of us) went through that moment of sheer bemusement over the Tim & Jason tag at AO3 as my most prominent memory of their relationship was Tim kicking Jason in the nuts.

And I've bought a lot of trades ever since getting back into the fandom, because I can't lose access to them AND they're just so far superior for collection purposes than floppies.

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Hi I got more questions about the starburst duo!

1: what’s their favorite video games?

2: what is their favorite anime and/or cartoons?

3: Chris has a brotherly/uncle relationship with Kon-El/Conner, what’s Jake’s relationship like with Kon-el?

4: you know how in some movies and tv shows a pair of best friends would get into a fight and act like: “your not my best friend anymore!” And towards the end they get back together, has that happen before between the two of them?

5: what’s the rouge galley for the both of them?

Silly question :p

6: on a scale of 1-10, how likely are they gonna aim for the crotch against a dude villain/goon? Speaking of that what’s their reaction seeing that stuff in movies like how in the first kung fu panda movie Po got hit in the tenders?

(Cracks Fingers while grinning wildly)

Back for more I see, my friend? Very well then…

1) In no particular order, they’d like (in spite of Dick and Lois having some second thoughts in allowing them for playing M Rated titles)

Mortal Kombat

Blitz The League

Cuphead

Dark Souls

Asura’s Wrath,

and perhaps their all time favorite,

The Rockband series (out of them, The Beatles Rockband being their top one. Chris can do both Vocals and Bass while Jake does Drums and Harmonies)

2) Dragon Ball…basically all of Dragon Ball. Whether it’s The OG, Kai, GT, or the upcoming Daima, they’ll be lined up in their best shirts that are either patterned after Piccolo’s outfit or have the Z Fighters on it with their snacks by their side on the couch and engage with an all night marathon of episodes and films. Their favorite character is unanimously Son Gohan

3) Those two get along as good friends though from Jake hears about Conner courtesy of his Uncle Tim and ‘Aunite’ Cassie, whenever Conner inevitably screws up with trying to win a girlfriend off the streets with his egotistical charms and attitude, Jake gleefully takes the chance for snarking about that screw up, much to Conner’s conniption.

Aside from that though, the two make it a sworn oath on working together for making sure Chris is safe and secure from the threats even he’s too great to handle, whether externally or especially his own internal ones including tendencies of low self esteem and fears of abandonment. Conner and Jake are there for him no matter what

4) Much to even their own surprise, not exactly. Yes, there have been moments the two have gone separately from each other before reuniting in full but the thing is, they never had said to each other that they’re no longer friends. They’re never actively taking pot shots or any sort of bad mouth each other even during their lowest points in their friendship.

In fact, it’s because of their close friendship, it’s how they’re able to communicate the message of “Hey Man, I really like to hang out with you but I don’t if it’s the right time right now. Maybe a little later? Still love ya as a friend btw” with little to no words whether it’s face to face or via phone texts. They have mutual respect and understanding of those moments and take their time.

Once they have a chance though, like say in the middle of a crisis or few, they’ll rush to each other’s aid and make up for it once it’s all said and done. Even in a hypothetical Civil War between all the superheroes which has the two in opposite sides would have a similar pattern between them.

5) I once answered this in a earlier ask but I feel like it’s the perfect time for a sort of expansion to that list. Some names here would be old classics while maybe one or two would be OCs of mine for villains.

General Dru Zod (Chris’ birth father and somewhat arch nemesis due to his….very tough love approach to put it very very mildly think of their relationship akin to say Omni Man and Invincible)

Mr Victor Zsasz (Jake’s own Gotham based arch enemy due to a particular case involving street orphans and urchins forcibly fighting a gladiator style tournament to the death and Jake facing Zsasz face to face at the climax of said case, a duel involving a rather brutal beat down since Jake’s powers were shut down briefly that includes a sharp blade and that old damned crowbar)

The Gordanians (Since Jake’s mother is Kory aka Starfire, it should be pretty self explanatory and easy to understand his dislike for these particular aliens)

Deathstroke the Terminator (Similar enough reason to the Gordanians only in this case it’s via what he done to Dick throughout the years as a Titan, whether it includes the forced apprenticeship or other misdeeds)

The Court of Owls (not only due to both Mar’i and Jake being offsprings of the ‘Gray Son’ but they also can sense Chris somehow being a unique sort that distinguishes him from the other Kryptonians (I.e. his unique physiology courtesy of his birth in the Phantom Zone and being a host for the Nightwing entity) that they can claim for themselves, an evolutionary step in their arsenal of Talons)

Cinderblock (The big dumb concrete lug frequently challenges Chris and Jake for a challenge in Bludhaven’s streets which they’re all too happy to take. He’s fun for them to take on)

Xa Du, The Phantom King (As the main ruler of the Phantom Zone himself, he naturally sees Chris as an obstacle to his own path of universal domination)

(And time for some OCs I have in mind)

NKVDemon (an ex-Spetznaz and apprentice of the KGBeast though his goals and methods are far more grand and widespread in comparison than his mercenary teacher’s. While not a cyborg like KGBeast or enhanced like Deathstroke, he’s dangerously intelligent, at peak human condition and utterly ruthless to the core)

Lion Master (a constantly bullied street orphan who ran to join a traveling circus where became the apprentice of an old kindly lion tamer, it all truly went downhill during one performance at Ivy Town when due to a simple mistake on his part, the kid ended up causing the old tamer’s unfortunate demise in front of the crowds, leading to him being kicked out of the circus he called home and the lions ordered in being out down. Not willing to see the felines he can call his friends meet their ends, the orphan frees the four big cats. Now with nothing left to lose and returning to the streets once more, the old tanner’s apprentice turns to a life of petty crime with his four kings of the jungle by his side and at his beckon command; competing his transformation into the Lion Master. Has a beef yet also somewhat a bond with Skybird due to their own connections to the circus yet Skybird and Nightwing ‘Phantom’ always foil his crimes)

La Llorona (‘The Weeping Woman’ herself; the Duo once encountered her during a vacation their families were taking in Mexico. A one time antagonist who they actually were able to communicate with in order to help her find peace with them but certainly a memorable one)

The monkeys and undead guardians of El Dorado (Ling story incredibly short, Time Travel shenanigans had Chris and Jake land in the a time lopping ancient city of gold with these monkeys and zombified warriors attacking the intruders almost every step of their way within their adventure to escape)

Vla-Bol (A Kryptonian juvenile delinquent who led an equivalent of a street gang doing all sorts of petty crimes and ruled their city streets/Hallways with an iron fist. At first, The Kryptonian High Coucil had Vla drafted into basically boot camp under the command of an ancestor of a certain Kryptonian General, Grand Admiral Gro-Zod. Unfortunately for Vla, despite or maybe because of taking the Admiral’s teachings and philosophy to heart, he went on committing plenty of bad conduct and failed to hold back his fury during war time as a Private. For this misconduct, Vla-Bol was banished to the Phantom Zone at the age of only 14 years, swearing vengeance on the House of Zod for this indignity. It just centuries later and once he finally is able to leave the Zone and find planet Earth, there happens on being a descendent of the old Admiral, Lor Zod aka Chris. Vla-Bol is an utter show off and Grade A jerk who flaunts his powers without any hesitation or second thought. Powers that are surprisingly deviant from standard Kryptonian ones as while yes he can fly, lift extremely heavy objects and exhibit super human speeds, for one he relies on Moonlight to fuel them. Also, in place of heat vision and x ray vision, Vla-Bol instead can make copies of himself composed of shadows and summon dark energy from the Zone itself, capable of leveling entire city blocks at the palm of his hands)

(*Phew* I think that should do it lol)

6) Chris: 3, Clark taught him well enough to not resort to dirty tricks in fighting his opponents

Jake: 10, Being raised in Bludhaven by Nightwing and having Red Hood as an Uncle….it’s pretty obvious he would fight dirty like they can lol

As for their reactions, both of them would giggling at those moments.

Okey Dokey, I’m pretty sure that’s a plenty for my answers, Anon

If there’s any suggestions to add or constructive criticisms, please Reblog/Reply. It’ll be very appreciated ;-)

[youve-doomed-us-all-jerk]

man of steel watch 2023😁(long af reactions under the cut lmao copied from twitter)

fuck it you already know

still wonder what zacks plan was with the codex🤔🤔🤔was it just there to thematically be him carrying the kryptonian refugees or was there more

still crazy that zack in his unsubtle way made the villain colonizing eugenicists and people got mad at him for saying the appropriate response was killing them lol

minor thing but appreciate jor not saying anything when zod was pleading that lara abort the launch, just a look, he trusts her, feel like thats paralleled with clark and lois's relationship later, again minor but superman medias all about speeches so lmao

"his name is kal, son of el and he is beyond your reach"🥺

lara's theme is so good

the pan to his abs, zack knew the demographic he was reaching for

the worlds too big scene😭😭

if i saw a big breasted man run boobily across a lawn and steal some clothes i wouldnt snitch

he aint need to throw ross out the water like that but he uses words like dicksplash so he deserves it

😭😭😭(got nothing to say about the "maybe" scene, im tired lmao)

forgot how many emotional hits they roll out so early in the movie lmao

lmao remember when people said ludlow wouldnt try to fight clark cuz he was huge, cuz as we all know toxic masculinity definitely doesnt make men act stupid and vile lol anyway proud of clark for fucking up his truck sexual harassers deserve nothing

its her lois lane shes here

genuinely didn't know joe was clark for my first 3 views of this movie lmao

the flashlight to clarks laser eyes transition was cool(so was the pod landing in the farm transitioning to the boat crashing against a wave scene)

super buff sexy drifting doctor clark kent

fuck this nerd who sold lois out after she gave him info. zack was already laying the seeds of the media being dicks from this one blogger lmao

"and kal, that's my name "🥺

jor-el's power point presentation let's go

do remember someone in good faith(hopefully lol)saying jor was "glorifying" colonization when he spoke "fondly" of the era of expansion of krypton, and maybe fair though that could also be why he and lara chose not to escape with kal, the whole they were a part of the problem

genuinely fav supes suit I get the desire to have the ma kent suit but i cant see it anymore as anything other than him reassuring his loyalty to earth(america) to the gatekeepers, martha had a whole lifetime with him let him have one of the few connections to his culture he has

first flight😃😃😃😃

seeing this for the first time as a teen and finally understanding "you'll believe a man can fly"

no superhero media has done flying as good as this, not even bvs or zsjl theres just something about MoS's flying that makes my brain light up

don't forget lois lane figured out clarks identity(b4 he even went public) without luther or bruce's resources, smartest bestest investigator in dcu🗣🗣🗣

should they have had a younger actor play 18 yr old clark in the argument with jonathan in the car scene, maybe, though cavills teen angsty" i didnt say that!" and "you're not my dad !>:(" voice was p believable lmao

the way she drops the biggest story cuz her kindness is as big as her drive to get the truth, no wonder she's what inspires him

ngl recently heard laurence fishburne in moon girl and devil dino and the whiplash between his 2 performances lmao

seeing the butterfly trapped in the chain has new meaning now

soundtrack: *hits those mos piano notes* me everytime:

well maybe for a little bit⚰⚰⚰

you think swanwick was watching the your are not alone message and thought it was a cliche

the military people behind the glass watching these two flirt right in front of them

when he breaks the cuffs while standing up😛😏

"it did to me"

maybe love is real idk

the ship atmosphere thing was such a good way to foreshadow kryptonite lmao(yes did still take notes while my twitter was down lmao)

Jor-els fun informative power point presentation vs zod's very bad no good drug trip

clarks mind vision of himself is literally still a farmboy idk why people still think he isnt "connected to his humanity" in the iteration lmao

black suit but with no silver to symbolize pure darkness, death and to make him look the same as zod

though not to jump to zsjl but we know zack had to smuggle the black suit in with the metal padding and post color editing in that movie do wonder if he was gonna go with a totally different design if he had complete control, maybe capeless, pure metal for the silver and a beard? do also remember him teasing the long hair in one interview lmao

watching superman sink into a mountain of skulls really rewired my teenage brain since i only knew of him from pop culture at that point ngl

will say kinda funny that clark is clearly torn up about killing while lois was just blasting kryptonians blam blam🔫🔫🔫girl boss

the escaping the ship ost is so good😩why wasnt it on the official soundtrack, i know theres a good youtube ver of it but lmao

ok starting to think the jor colonization criticism wasn't in good faith cuz clark does kinda bring up the whole "do you agree with zod about wiping out humans???" thing lmao

clark saving lo in the escape pod scene got me tense af in the theater

"YOU THINK YOU CAN THREATEN MY MOTHER?!" still goes hard

do like when clark is a lil petty lmao "cranky cuz your momma didnt teach you to not be overstimulated hmm"

neat little quirk clark does in all of zacks movies, before he gets in a serious fight theres usually a shot of him clenching his fist lmao

nam-ek popped the pilot like a blueberry

faora's so cool

my man fighting for his life in this ihop in front of all his old friends too

flying really was his one advantage against these soldiers and he loses that when he fights zod too they really put him thru it on his first day😭

faora made him waste all his bullets, wait till he pulled out a knife and then pulls out a bigger one like

like to think zack having the military drone strike smallville is a parallel to when the US did it to the african village in BvS

yeah big floaty alien thing in the middle of the city may be a lil overdone now but half dont look as good as how zack did it back then

world engine sound design so sexy too😋

zacks cape porn👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

oh god🥺best scene, yes am getting emotional, scene means a lot to me

also kinda weird when zack does invoke the moses allegory people arent like "he's literally saying supes is moses!" like they do with jeezy creezy and his imagery lmao he's literally looks like he's parting the sea here lmao

in the wider snyderverse am realizing theres more moses stuff you can connect to even if the timeline is wonky and its not 1:1, obviously darkseid is the pharaoh with his whole enslavement thing, him turning supes to his side could be interpreted as ramses and moses

in this way zod, who believes in kryptons removal of "free choice" like jor and lara said, is the guard moses kills when he sees him mistreating one of his people

and the destruction of the genesis chamber and the other kryptonians being sucked back into the phantom zone could be an allegory for when god killed the first borns of egypt, no moses expert tho so could be reaching lol but fun connections, tangent i know lmao

oh also rather than a race thing it becomes more that clarks "people" are the ones who believe in free will and choice while darkseid and zods dont lmao anyway

"krypton had its chance!" still to this day lives in my mind rent free

lmao love that lois and clark are just horny for each other no matter who is watching not the military not lois's coworkers or the other survivors

zod's monologue👨🏽‍🍳👌🏽

to this day idk if i can think of a cbm fight thats topped superman vs zod, just in like raw visceral action and the fact they actually have stakes in it

thinking about how i remember shannon telling zack "as long as my suit isnt cgi i dont wanna wear those pajamas" or something and zack said yeah and then it was lol

my superman hates and constantly destroys military drones

and welcome to the planet! Glad i watched this again after so long, definitely needed that, hopefully work lets up enough for me to watch the rest of the trilogy✌🏽

[stoptellinglieslois]

Principal of pleasure part 33

As Black mask quickly takes the manor hostage his plans fail as the batfam has the upper hand.

Superman x Nightwing pairing

Dick

As the tirade of gun shots in the air exploded out of the machine guns of thugs. Black mask showed himself in the middle of the ball we stood behind him thinking of a strategy.

The guests tore for the exit as thugs closed the door in front of them. "I came to talk to some of you today I came for Bruce Wayne any idea where he is." Black turned his head from side to side making a show of looking around.

And that's when one of the thugs had a uzi pointing at Tim temple. The night just started and the party didn't even lift off the ground yet. Bruce didn't get to greet his guest we came before he did.

I realise we are wearing masks no one knows who we really all are.

Are identity safe we could dispatch these thugs in no time and that's when Jason pulled out a gun on them but we are behind them so some couldn't see if Jason was pointing a gun out at them.

Bruce didn't want to make any sudden movements it would cause hostility.

Jason didn't care about hostility or Black mask and shot a round on the thugs.

Black mask turned around and found us four standing there, Lois didn't have the time to find a safe place to hide when Jason told her.

As green smoke immersed quickly on the floor and took hold of the room people fell to the ground as it hit there sense.

Only us four covered our mouth and noses and I ran for Tim and carried him out of the room.

We ran out of the room all we heard was the sirens from a distance.

The night went from one disaster to another getting rid of Black mask is the only triumph tonight.

I needed to leave right now because of many questions about the cologne and me smelling like Kal.

I had to escape right now I would let the others figure this out about Black mask I needed to flee.

as sirens rang louder as I tried to leave my family behind.

I went towards my room and I didn't close the door behind me but I felt a presence behind me.

"Where are you going." Damian came from the shadow in the corner of my old room.

"I gotta go."

"Where ?"

"Home do not ask me these questions Damian you caused a lot of problems do you get me." I grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard.

"I was the one who smoked out Black mask and his thugs I had to." Damian confessed. "Look I never wanted to cause anyone to have an issue but if you leave I wanna know Clark.... did he leave Lois." I didn't want to deal with Damian right now.

"Don't leap out the window and dodge my question." Damian said he was quiet and not as combative as he sometimes or who am I kidding most of the time he's usually combative.

"I can't talk too much here it was not wise for me to talk freely here. Damian so if you want your answer leap out the window with me." I told him gathering my things and throwing them in a duffle bag.

"Then I'm leaping out the window with you." He said and we went out the manor window and leap out like thieves in the night.

Patrol cars red and blue lights flashed the premises as we took off and hurried through the maze of the gardens.

As we jogged a little and made sure we had a good distant from the manor.

We stopped the light jogging and we started walking slower and more at ease. "Yes Clark divorce Lois on her birthday." I told him he seemed stunned but schooled it to seem more calmer that's when I grabbed his shoulders again.

"You leave us alone no more talking no more saying anything to me or the man of steel do you get me. You caused him a lot he does not deserve this from you he is not perfect nor are you the hell you caused why didn't you just let us deal with it Damian I would never do this to you ever." All of my pent up anger and frustration I took it out on Damian.

I was angry and upset because all of this was making me and Kal being forced out in a very strange and unpleasant situation.

"If I don't do this it will cause more problems It does not matter if you're together just not with other people. I don't want anyone getting hurt that's all." Damian said he sounded more his age now instead of a forced grown up.

"Well you made sure that would happen because I have to tell Barbara soon that I want to separate from her, So good job buddy thanks for pulling teeth for us It's really good of you to do that." I was sarcastic and not really going for whatever he was going for he put Kal inner and outward turmoil state he was hiding his true thoughts and feeling from me he is not really elaborating the whole break up thing with me and I never pushed anything either knowing I will go through the same thing soon.

"My father loves your Superman I've always suspected this if he ever finds out about the two of you. Grayson it would destroy us as a family this would be the ultimate betrayal of his life, His son with his best friend and he fell for him I'm not telling you to breakup with Clark. But this will be such a triangle of a mess that not even mother and her love for father would even come close to this mess." I stood there listening to this little man saying all of these things to me and I knew I could no longer pretend to play charade for much longer.

"Our you warning me."

"No I'm preparing you."

"For what exactly."

"For him of course."

"For whom Bruce."

"Yes you fool."

"I should have not come tonight then."

"No you shouldn't have."

"I am wearing his cologne right now and everyone is getting stir crazy over it." I said realising I needed to go home to Barbara but she wasn't in town right now I needed to prepare to speak to her as well this would not be a walk in the park.

If I go back tonight to Kal and the cabin I just know I won't go to my apartment or Barbara.

"I can't drop everyone all together it would be to obvious."

"For Bruce it will make it too obvious that you two are together."

"At this moment do you think he knows anything."

"No you both are still alive."

"I can't believe this."

"Why couldn't you say no to him."

"No Damian that's not how this shit works and when you fall in love with someone you will know what I mean." As we stood in the garden I heard heavy footsteps coming near us a crunch of the grass as Jason shows up behind Damian.

"Hey boys wondering where you all are." Jason said.

"Bruce is asking for you guys he notices you two leaving out the window." I was shocked and realise I need to leave now.

"He could have followed me here." I said nervously about fixing my duffle bag on my shoulder.

"No he's too busy talking to the police to follow me." Jason explained.

"I gotta go."

"Don't leave like this."

Damian said but my back was already turned as I left the two of them and jogged towards the exit of the garden.

"Please no matter what don't hurt her and yourself." Damian called after me but I was already out of the garden and out of sight.

End of part 33 next is part 34

Thank you for reading

[soulmate-game]

Maribat March 2021 @maribatmarch-2k21

Day 1: Found Family

“Ah! Bonjour!” A cheery voice called, as a short Eurasian girl bound over to the unfairly intimidating mob of tall people with sharp eyes. Chloe had called in a favor. “My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Chloe told me that your tour guide cancelled at the last minute, so she blackmail—sorry, begged me to fill in for them. You are the Wayne’s, non?”

The one at the front of the group, clearly Bruce Wayne since Marinette didn’t live under a rock and had seen the man on several American news broadcasts before, nodded and cleared his throat. Man, was he intimidating. Even when he shot her a dazzling smile that was sure to blind Paparazzi with fake cheer. It was a nice smile, Marinette wasn’t about to deny. But it was empty. Distant. And Marinette wasn’t going to buy it for a second.

“Yes, that’s us. Mademoiselle Bourgeois mentioned she had asked a close friend of hers to take care of our tour.”

Marinette nodded again, clasping her hands behind her back. “I guarantee, you won’t miss anything the tour guide would have shown you. In fact, Chloe mentioned that you all were very curious about the now retired Parisian heroes, right? My former best friend ran the Ladyblog back when they were active. I am more than confident that I can answer any questions you have while we go through the city.”

A boy with a white streak in his hair rose his hand, as if he was in a class and needed to wait to be called on. Which, considering the sheer size of their family, Marinette was actually grateful for. But damn, this was another imposing figure. Slightly taller than even the six-foot-three-inches that Bruce Wayne owned, he was solidly built and rocked a brown leather jacket and ripped black jeans. Marinette smiled and nodded for him to speak.

“How old are you? Because I don’t know if twelve year olds are allowed to do guided tours,” there was an obvious tease in his voice, but there was also legitimate concern in his blue-green eyes. Marinette almost missed that concern amid her quickly building annoyance. She even felt her eyes twitch.

“I’m turning eighteen in a few months if you need to know, Monsieur,” she evened out the bite in her voice with an overly sweet smile. “And if you want to get lost and possibly pickpocketed in the busy streets of Paris, then please continue to make comments on my height. If not, we can begin our tour and you might even enjoy it.”

Several Wayne’s snickered at her comeback, one man in particular elbowing the white haired gentleman with a little too much glee. Even the stoic Bruce laughed softly, and a boy with enough bags under his eyes to make the airport jealous nearly fell over himself with his suppressed laughter.

The man himself just snorted, sending her a lopsided smirk that oddly radiated approval. It was almost as if she had passed some sort of test.

“My name’s Jason, Pixie. You already know B. The guy trying to break my ribs,” he pointedly shoved off the one who had elbowed him, “is Dick. He’s Bruce’s first adoptive casualty. The one that looks like a zombie is Tim, we might need to take a break to get him more coffee before he passes out halfway through. The one who hasn’t stopped glaring at you is Damian, the badass redhead is Barbara but we all call her Babs. The annoying blonde is Stephany, the other cool badass over there is Cass. She doesn’t talk much. And the one trying to pretend he doesn’t know us is Duke.”

Each member he introduced gave her a little wave or nod. Even Damian managed a short nod of acknowledgement before resuming his glare. He looked to be a couple years younger than her, so she just brushed it off as teenage drama.

“Alright then! It is very nice to meet you all. Now, Chloe did inform me that you guys are very multilingual, which is another reason she asked me instead of one of our other friends. If you ever need it, I obviously am fluent in both French and English. But added to that, I am fluent in Cantonese, Mandarin, Italian, and I know basic survival Japanese. I also know French Sign Language, though I’m not sure if that’s very useful for you unfortunately. If you ever need to communicate non-verbally, I will do my best to accommodate that. Now, I believe you guys were scheduled to start the tour with a visit to the Louvre, non? Right this way.”

As Marinette led the large group out of the Grand Paris, they didn’t bother taking time to admire the sights before asking questions.

“Have you ever met one of the heroes?” Dick, who might have been shorter than Jason and Bruce but was muscular enough to still inspire caution (and admiration), asked. His blue eyes seemingly stared right through Marinette as he continued; “If you’re almost eighteen, then they must have been active through a lot of your school career.”

Marinette smiled. “They did only retire last year,” she agreed with a nod. “Yes, I have met all of the Parisian heroes at least once,” she snorted at a stray thought. “In fact, I met Chat Noir quite a lot. You see, my old College was basically ground zero for a lot of akuma attacks. And by a lot, I mean a majority of them,” she shook her head before pausing to get everyone to cross a street. “After a while, Chat Noir started calling me ‘princess’ to make fun of how often he had to save me. He’s an annoying ass.”

Despite her words, everyone behind her could easily hear the fondness there. They all traded glances. What if this was a Lois and SuperMan situation? Regardless, they all had a suspicion that Marinette knew more about the heroes than she let on. Or, at least more about Chat Noir.

“When you say that your school was a hotspot for Akuma attacks,” Bruce spoke up cautiously, his Dad Senses going haywire. He didn’t like how nonchalantly she had said it— she was far too casual. Sure enough, he watched as the muscles between her shoulders stiffened slightly at the conversation change. “What do you mean? Surely it couldn’t have been that bad if the school is still around.”

Marinette sucked her teeth, grimacing. “The school is still there, yeah, but only because of Ladybug’s ability. You’ve heard about the Cure, right?” It was Tim who answered her;

“Yeah. It fixed the damage done during a fight, right?” He asked, tilting his head a little. Marinette ignored her brief thought that the gesture made him look like a curious puppy. She sighed.

“Yeah. But when they say damage, they mean everything. Injuries, collateral. Death,” she said the last example darkly, far too much weight behind the word for it to be meaningless. She heard Jason hiss in sympathy. “But there are good things. The Cure also erased anyone’s memories of dying besides the vague knowledge that it did happen, so there isn’t much trauma there to unpack. Not as much as there could have been anyway,” she assured them. “And I’m one of the lucky ones. I never died, and I was never Akumatized.”

“Hmph,” Damian’s voice cut through the brief silence that followed her admission. She looked back at him to see his sharp green eyes staring right into her. “You don’t honestly believe that’s lucky.” It wasn’t a question. Marinette clenched her jaw, turning around and ignoring him.

Because, no. It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t lucky that she was the only one that remembered everything— all of the deaths, all of the Akumatizations, everything that others mercifully forgot. Since she lived through all of it, she remembered all of it. And survivor’s guilt is nothing to scoff at.

But she wasn’t about to reveal her trauma, or at the very least the full scope of it, to people she had just met and was leading on a tour.

“If you look to the left, you’ll see a statue that was made depicting Ladybug and Chat Noir back during the first years of their activity,” she suddenly told them, gesturing to the still-standing statue. Nobody missed the obvious topic change, but nobody commented on it either. Turns out the statue was something they had been looking forward to seeing in person, Tim even went up to take a few photos with his camera. Barbara took a few circles around the statue, easily pivoting her wheelchair around it as if she was trying to see every angle and imperfection possible. Marinette couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at the sight.

“Your family are pretty big fans, huh?” She asked Cass and Duke, the only ones that had stayed back with her. Duke snorted, and Cass gave her a small grin.

“They like to keep up to date with all the heroes,” Duke answered with a shrug. “Since we’re so high profile, it isn’t weird for us to be saved by one here or there even when we’re away from Gotham.”

Marinette just gave him an odd look, furrowing her brows. “But the Miraculous team has been disbanded since HawkMoth was defeated,” she reminded them. “There’s no need for them to save anybody anymore.”

“Old habits,” Cass spoke up softly, her voice barely a whisper. Her eyes locked with Marinette’s. “Not easy to break.”

The smaller woman had a feeling that Cass wasn’t talking about her family’s habit of keeping up to date on heroes.

“Alright! We need to head to the next stop or we might not have time to see everything!”

The tour went pretty similarly. The walks between stops were pleasant, and filled with questions about the period of time where HawkMoth was active. Marinette wasn’t even the least bit surprised nor put off; everyone was curious about those years now that the tourism restriction was lifted and people could ask freely about it. Besides the many questions about the Heroes, Marinette found the group to be very pleasant company. They were polite, but also rowdy in a very endearing way. She caught a lot of inside jokes they had with each other, and a lot of good natured teasing and fighting. They even managed to rope her into it somehow, and she found herself snidely teasing Damian or casually threatening Tim with not allowing them a coffee break. She even got to ride on Jason’s shoulders for a bit after he made another comment on her height that she Did Not Appreciate. But the ride she got made it worth it.

But soon the sun was high in the sky, and it was about time for them to take a lunch break. They had all been walking for hours with only a few chances to rest, and honestly Marinette was impressed that none of them seemed too tired out by it.

“Alright,” she put her hands on her hips proudly. “Since some of you won’t stop whining about needing coffee or being hungry— Dick, don’t you dare buy anything from that vendor! I’m gonna lead you all to my parent’s bakery so we can have lunch and caffeinate all of you. And conveniently enough,” she smiled widely. “The bakery is right across the street from my old College! So you’ll be able to get a look at where the majority of Akuma attacks happened, and maybe I can tell you a few specific stories if you want,” she offered. There were a couple cheers (Tim and Dick) from the crowd and everyone seemed pretty pleased with the next step in their tour. Smiling, Marinette turned and began to lead them in the direction of her home.

Sirens blared, a fire truck zooming down the street next to them.

Headed in the same direction.

Marinette frowned, watching it go. “That’s weird. I hope everyone’s okay, whatever happened,” she mused idly. But as they kept going forward, the sirens didn’t get any softer. If anything, they started getting louder again after a while. Marinette was visibly concerned by then, her pace picking up. “This is my neighborhood,” she told the solemn group behind her. “I know everyone on this street—“ they rounded the corner, and Marinette stopped in her tracks. Her world ground to a halt.

There was the fire truck, stopped right in front of her bakery.

Which was completely ablaze.

A string of curses flew out of her mouth, the little Eurasian wasting no more time before sprinting towards the building. She could hear people yelling at her to wait, slow down, stop! But she ignored them. The only thing on her mind was that her home was on fire.

“Marinette! Wait!” Dick reached out to grab her arm, but like a snake Marinette easily slipped out of his grip and continued forward. Steph was next, deciding to just tackle Marinette— to no avail. The Parisian just shouldered the bigger woman off of her with pure adrenaline fueling her muscles, and everyone else knew by then that they could not stop her. The Wayne’s decided all they could do was jog behind Marinette, keeping her in sight as they tried to gauge the damage.

“The top floors don’t look like they have even been touched by the fire yet,” Tim whispered, though his eyes flew between the building and their tour guide. Marinette was speaking rapidly with a firefighter that wasn’t immediately busy, trying to get information. But before anyone could decipher what was said, Marinette tore a large strip off the bottom of her shirt and tied it in a hasty mask around her mouth.

“Wait!” Bruce was the first to realize what was happening, with his years of experience with self sacrificing children and their stupid stunts. But Marinette managed to kick him away before he could grab her, dashing into the inferno without paying any heed to the many protests that followed her.

The group of Gothamites could do nothing but watch the flaming building, then. If they went inside, it would only overcrowd a hazardous area. Minutes passed, and there was movement in the fire. Out of the doorway came Marinette and a firefighter, both having to work together to carry the body of a large man outside. The sight of the man made the Gotham family blink— he was as big as Bane! And that was nothing to scoff at. But despite his unusual size and muscle mass, the man had all the signs of being a normal civilian.

Marinette didn’t stop there. She ran back in. Coming out a lot more quickly this time with a barely conscious Asian woman— everyone saw the resemblance between her and this new woman immediately.

It had to be her mother.

“Shit,” Duke hissed. Nobody else could say a word. It wasn’t looking good, and this wasn’t a situation where random vigilantes showing up out of nowhere could actually help. Not this late into the fire. Bruce’s hands curled into fists.

The woman that everyone guessed was Marinette’s mother was suddenly struck by lucidity; she gasped and grabbed at Marinette’s hand without seeming to see who she was even talking to. A single word that none of the Waynes could hear left her throat, and judging by Marinette’s returning panic it hadn’t been good.

She rushed right back into the building, and came back out with the last firefighter who had been searching inside.

Marinette carried a child. She screamed out in panicked French;

“She’s not breathing! I need first aid now!”

That was their cue. The firefighters started their hoses, focusing on getting rid of the flames now that nobody was left inside the building. Bruce and Damian got to Marinette first, and this time she listened as they instructed her to set the child down. Damian, being smaller and having more hands-on medical knowledge, took charge of the resuscitation. Marinette sat there silently, eyes riveted to the small child— a girl.

But Marinette wasn’t reacting like a normal civilian to tragedy. She was eerily calm, eyes focused and barely concealing a terrible rage. She took over chest compressions when Damian started to lose momentum, not giving up.

But then the EMTs arrived, and it was only five minutes with the child hooked onto oxygen that the news arrived—

Marinette heard the monitors on the ambulance flatline before she even registered what people were trying to tell her. Manon. Manon was—

Marinette didn’t register Nadya Chammack at first. She was just another body in the quickly growing sea of them. That is, until she heard Nadya’s pained shriek. A mother who had just lost her baby girl.

“Perhaps we should head back,” Bruce offered softly, giving Marinette space but keeping a keen eye on her. He saw her begin to tremble, then shake. He was pretty sure he could hear the grinding of her teeth for a second before she went still. Just… all movement stopped, the tears that had been building just falling silently for a second before they ended.

And he recognized that carefully practiced emptiness in her bluebell eyes. The same emptiness he had seen in Damian’s eyes when he had first arrived at the Manor. The same emptiness he saw in Dick’s eyes in the days following his parent’s deaths.

The same emptiness he saw in the mirror, every time he had another nightmare about the day Jason had been taken from him, years ago.

Suddenly he could imagine all too well exactly what kind of strength she had to have, to avoid her negative emotions ever being used against her during Hawkmoth’s reign. Especially if she had constantly been dealing with her friends and family being Akumatized and/or dying on multiple occasions.

She didn’t even seem to have heard him. Bruce sighed.

“I called Chloe,” Barbara informed everyone solemnly, holding up her phone for emphasis. “She’ll be here in five.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Chloe hadn’t come alone. With her had been Adrien Agreste, former model when his father hadn’t been… well, in prison. Nowadays he was just a normal student who occasionally gave lectures on neglect and child abuse, and how to help children in those situations.

And, apparently, he was also Marinette’s closest friend. Even more so than Chloe. As soon as they arrived back at the Grand Paris, Chloe herded everyone up into her suite and she and Adrien surrounded Marinette with pillows and blankets. Adrien curled around Marinette like an affectionate cat, and Damien even swore he heard the guy purr at some point

“We should probably leave,” Bruce whispered to their hostess, who looked inbetween him and her friends for a moment before jerking her head towards the door.

“I wanna talk to you first,” Chloe whispered back. Once they all filed out into the hallway and the door was safely closed, Chloe took a breath. “First, I want to tell you that I got a call from the hospital. Marinette’s father is stable, but in a coma right now.”

“Is that the man who looked like he could bench press a car for fun?” Dick asked, earning a weak grin from the Bourgeois heiress.

“Yeah, that’s him. But…” Chloe’s face fell, and she looked around as if to double check nobody was eavesdropping. She still lowered her voice anyway. “Her mother, Sabine. She…” Chloe swallowed a lump in her throat, images of the extremely kind Chinese woman flashing through her mind without permission. “She didn’t make it.”

Several people took a sharp breath, acknowledging everything that had gone so wrong for Marinette on a day that had started so perfectly.

“The smoke?” Cass asked gently, but Chloe winced and shifted on her feet.

“No. They… there were rope marks on Sabine’s neck,” Chloe clenched her eyes shut at the admission. “Marinette’s dad might be big, but he’s not a fighter. Sabine, though… Sabine was. She was raised in a martial arts family back in China. I’ve seen Sabine take down five men at once, all twice her size,” Chloe kicked her lips, shaking her head in disbelief. “Somebody knew… somebody knew that the little Chinese woman was a threat but the big baker with tons of muscle was harmless.”

Nobody took that well. Not only had Marinette just lost her home and half of her family, but her father was in a coma and it had all been foul play.

“Okay,” Bruce nodded once the news had time to sink in. They could help with this; this was their specialty. They might have only known Marinette for six hours, but she had made a big impression. It wasn’t just anybody that could mesh with his family so seamlessly in that short span of time. “Is there anything else?”

“I want you to get temporary custody of her,” Chloe said it the way only Chloe Bourgeois could. With her back straight, chin high, and the tone of a woman who expected to be listened to or else she’d make life Hell for the person that didn’t take her seriously. Bruce could only blink.

“Can I ask for your reasoning?”

“Marinette has been closing herself off more and more over the years,” Chloe admitted. “Hawkmoth’s reign was hard on her. Only Adrien really knows everything she went through during those years. But even after the disbanding of the team, she hasn’t… she hasn’t allowed herself to get close to anybody new. That’s why I tricked her into doing your tour. She needed to socialize with new people, and if she wouldn’t do it herself then I had to pull some strings.”

A few eyebrows raised at the admission that Chloe had fully planned for Marinette to be their tour guide the whole time. It honestly seemed like the kind of well meaning manipulation that one of them would try to pull off.

“She likes you,” Chloe’s voice went soft again, showing how uncharacteristically serious she was about that fact. “She was comfortable enough to let you guys carry her back here. To let you try to help Manon. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but it says a lot to me and Adrien. And… getting her away from Paris for a while is probably a good idea. She was planning to go to Gotham for university anyway.”

The Waynes traded glances before Bruce crosses his arms and asked some more questions first. Doesn’t Marinette have other family? Answer; only her grandmother, who travels all the time and nobody ever knows where she is until she shows up. Bruce agreed that Gina Dupain didn’t exactly seem like a good candidate for Marinette’s new guardian with that description. But finally, to none of his children's surprise, he did end up agreeing.

“But,” he held up a single finger. “We’ll Wait here in Paris for a week, so that she can try to salvage everything she can from her house and so we can get an idea on how her father is doing. There’s still a chance he’ll come out of his coma fairly quickly. And of course, we will only go through with this if Marinette agrees when we ask her tomorrow.”

Chloe agreed to those terms, looking like a weight had been lifted off of her.

Chloe never cut corners when taking care of her hive. And if that meant making sure that her brave soldier bee could move on to start a new hive, one that was better equipped to take care of her, then Chloe would do everything she could to help that move. And really; Chloe was far more resourceful and observant than people gave her credit for. The butts definitely matched, and Bruce Wayne was her last hope to get Marinette the support she needed. Outside of Adrien, anyway.

Chloe took a breath, watching the Waynes trickle off into their own rooms. Marinette was like the little sister she never wanted, but grew to love more than anything. Though, Chloe knew she really chose Marinette as her sister the same way they both chose Adrien as their brother. She just didn’t want to admit she was sentimental like that. But Chloe knew that someone like Marinette needed a bigger family. More support.

She could only hope that Marinette and the Waynes grew to become family for her like she and Adrien had. Kwami knew that Marinette needed all the help she could get for the foreseeable future.

“You did good, my Queen.”

“I know, Pollen. Now we just have to find out who dared hurt my hive.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Dude this took so long to write, but I’m actually really proud of it. Probably gonna take this Maribat March a little differently than last year, and make a few longer stories by connecting some of the prompts together. Maybe each week will be a full story? Idk I’ll figure it out. I know I’m behind but I’m working on it.

I tried to keep the angst out, but it found it’s way in here anyway. Oh well!

[squishneedsahero]

Building Bonds

Awesomest of Them All 2.0

Part 3 of 13

Word Count: 1259

Batman x Batmom!Reader

You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.

This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.

"You sure you want to take him with?" Bruce asks.

You look up from packing, "Yes Bruce, have you ever known me to not be sure of something?" You move out of your bedroom to sit on your couch next to Bruce.

He wraps his arms around your waist, "He can be quite the handful," as he speaks you lean against his chest.

"I know," you pause, "but we've been dating for over a year now, and I want to get to know Dick better."

Bruce sighs, "Alright, I'm going to head home and I'll let him know," he stands up and you do as well.

"I'll come pick him up tonight," you lead Bruce to the door of your apartment.

"I'll see you then," he leans in and kisses you before leaving.

"Hello Miss l/n," Alfred greets you at the door.

"Hi Alfred," you say shaking his hand because what else are you supposed to do when someone won't just call you y/n? As soon as you step inside you hear a shout.

"Y/n!" Dick exclaims running up to you and wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

"Hi Dick! Are you ready to go?"

"Almost," Dick releases you and goes to grab his bags.

When you stand up from hugging the boy you feel two arms wrap around your waist from behind you. "Hello you," You say turning around to face Bruce as he holds you tighter.

"Be safe," Bruce says before he kisses you and you kiss back, not as long as you'd like as you hear a gagging noise behind you.

You smirk and pull away from the kiss, "No promises, conventions can be quite dangerous," you release from the hug as you lay a hand dramatically across your forehead. You then turn to face Dick, "you ready now?"

"Yup!"

"Then let's go," You say going to help him carry his bags. You take the duffel bag from the eleven year old and throw it over your shoulder. "See You next week," you say kissing Bruce one last time.

"See ya," Dick says hugging Bruce then Alfred.

"Be good," Bruce says ruffling Dicks hair.

"Goodbye Master Dick," Alfred says hugging the boy back.

"Were driving?" Dick asks when he sees how packed your car is.

"Well I am, but yes we're driving," you reply to his question.

"Cool," Dick says, "we usually just fly to things, it's been a while since I've been on a road trip..." he trails off sounding slightly down.

"You get to be the D.j.," you say waving at the radio, trying to lighten the mood as you get what he's saying about the last time he'd been on a road trip, as it was probably last with his parents, the flying Graysons.

"Really?" Dick looks at the radio then back to you excitedly.

"Yup. We'll listen to whatever you want to," you say, smiling at him.

He turns on the radio and finds the aux cord and plugs it into his phone and hits shuffle. He's heard the weird music you listen too, a little bit of everything so he knows you won't judge his taste in music. He obviously still picks a playlist he thinks you'd approve of that is all Disney music since that's always a safe bet to play around adults when you're only 10.

The two of you bond during the long drive to Metropolis, singing along to all the classics such as Under the Sea and Hakuna Matata. The both of you share a joint hotel room for the night, Dick in his own room to be sure he's comfortable and knows he is free to have boundaries with you. The two of you go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and bump into some reporter who apparently knows both Dick and Bruce relatively well.

The tall broad shouldered man introduces himself as Clark Kent and you introduce yourself just for Clark's girlfriend Lois to ask you for an interview while you're in town.

You're about to turn her down but Dick answers for you, saying he's sure you'd love too and he'd just go hang out with Clark for a while. It's a little odd but you go with it since Dick seems so excited about it. After talking for a while and setting up a time to meet they leave the restaurant to let you and Dick finish your dinner and desert before going back to the hotel.

The two of you walk into the convention center and Dick exclaims, "Woah! This is awesome!"

"Yeah, it is," you say following him where ever he went. You had let Dick pick the costumes so you were dressed as (Disney Princess) and him as (Quirky Sidekick), since today wasn't a day you had a panel for the third book of the series you were writing. "So, where to first?"

He shrugs, "I don't know," he keeps craning his neck to look around, "I've never been to one of these before."

You shake your head and tsk softly, "come on, I'll teach you how to enjoy a comicon kiddo," you gently take his hand and lead the way incognito over to the artists alley.

The main reason you gave Dick for being dressed up was so less people would recognize you since you really had blown up in popularity since releasing your first and second books and the third being released this year.

In the artists alley you both look at all the cool stickers and pins that they had made. You get lots of stuff since you could now afford to actually support the artists with more than a like and a follow.

As the two of you wander you come across someone who had drawn some merch for your series. Their art was amazing, catching the character's personalities perfectly. It's as you're talking with the artist about their different work that they suddenly recognize you as y/n l/n and not as just another fan.

You smile and laugh softly, this was the one reason you enjoyed being a public figure, so that you could make people's days in such a small way by just liking their art or smiling at them. Anyways, Dick is hungry so you hurry along since you know he won't complain as he's used to Bruce getting held up. Anyways you quickly get the artist's contact information and take a picture with them, letting them know they can share it that night once the con was over for the day.

After that you move on with Dick to find some junk food to eat and a couple panels to sit in on. Over all the two of you have an amazing week together, bonding over movies, music and food. You get interviewed by Lois who is just as confused as you are as to how Clark and Dick know each other. Then you have a fan panel yourself at the con, answering lots of fan's questions. Plus the fact that you finally found someone to be the official artist for your books.

With a week spent together you and Dick are closer than ever. The two of you hadn't been not close but without Bruce and Alfred not around to buffer your interactions you have closer to what you think a mother son relationship should be like. After that week spent together you head back home to Gotham, the two of you had had fun but it would be nice to get back to normal life once again.

[iloveitwhen]

how about tim and marinette jokingly planning world domination and then accidentally carrying it out (to the annoyance of the batfam)??

this was so fun to write and I hope it makes sense! Marinette and Tim are extremely delirious so it was hard to share their thoughts while also having it make sense to the readers... I hope you like it!

“Dick, stop lying! There’s no way we could have done that. There’s no way we “accidentally took over the world.” Do you really think the two of us could have taken out all seven JLA members?” 

“What day is it, Marinette?” Dick asks instead of answering her question. 

“Tuesday,” Tim answers for her. 

“And the number?”

“Nineteenth,” Marinette crosses her arms and looks at Dick impatiently. 

“It’s Saturday the 23rd,” he declares hotly. “Haven’t you been wondering why you’re so hungry this morning? The two of you have been sleeping for 32 hours and had been awake before that for almost an entire week with maybe an hour of sleep a day. But it’s ok! Because before you fell asleep we got you on camera admitting to everything that you’ve done and we have your notes, which you will have to decipher by the way because for some reason you thought it was a good idea to code everything in your notes and you are in so much trouble right now!” 

“Show us,” Marinette was now understandably a little concerned because she totally did have the weirdest dream last night. And was it really the 23rd?

Five minutes later Marinette is standing side by side with Tim watching a video on the bat computer of the two of them in the interrogation room while Dick is questioning them. 

Marinette’s head is resting on the table, clearly sleeping when Dick slams his hand on the table forcing her to snap her head up in alarm. 

“You are NOT going to sleep right now. The last time this happened you couldn’t remember a thing! Tell me everything and I’ll let you go to sleep.”

Tim who has already been sitting up but was still very much asleep and didn’t seem to be affected by Dick’s outburst snaps his eyes open. 

“How dare you!” he bellows causing Dick and Marinette to look at him in surprise, Marinette’s much more exaggerated than Dick’s, “We will never agree to these terms!”

There are a few moments of silence in the video and Tim makes a noise of embarrassment from the back of his throat while Marinette holds back laughter. 

“I wouldn’t laugh quite yet, Marinette,” Dick admonishes. 

“Wait I’m really tired though… ,” Marinette complains to Tim.

“Great!” Dick claps his hands together and turns his attention to Marinette, “after you tell me everything you can go to sleep.”

Marinette nods very seriously then takes a deep breath and shakes her shoulders as if she’s hyping herself up to start a race or lift some heavy weights. She looks at a point on the wall a few feet to the right of Dick’s head and begins speaking as if she is a narrator of a science documentary. 

Marinette cringes, some of the memories coming back to her like how she had believed she had one more mission, and that was to let the audience know the “trials and tribulations of their story” as she had so eloquently thought about it in her head. She watches as Video Marinette recounts their story remembering that she had believed it was a serious story and that the imaginary audience (that she wholeheartedly believed were watching) must understand this.  Her hand goes to her mouth in horror as she watches herself on the screen go silent and stare at the point behind Dick’s shoulder for several awkward minutes, several times throughout the video. She remembers she had been trying to portray the scene that was passing before her mind’s eye for the “audience” to see as well. Clearly it didn’t work. 

---

** italics indicate when Marinette is using her narrating voice and is staring into the “camera” 

** dashes indicate flashbacks

“It was an accident.” Marinette starts, “Really, truly an accident. You can’t blame two delirious teenagers with a combined two hours of sleep within 3 days and half a brain cell to share between them. Honestly you can’t judge them, it’s not their fault the Lustice Jeague- Justilea- Just- Justice. League. Fell for it. You just can’t. It’s not their fault the justice league-”

“Marinette.” Dick interrupts.

“Right. Did I already say that? Well, anyways, point is. Not their fault….” 

-------

Marinette pops her head suddenly and looks conspiratorially at Tim, “Hey.”

“Hmm,” not stopping his clacking away at his computer. 

“Did you know Superman’s biggest weakness is Lois Lane?”

Time grunts in response as if saying, “yeah, what about it?”

“Like, he would literally be incapable of doing anything if Lois Lane was in trouble, like if Lois Lane disappeared so would Superman.” 

“Yeah that’s crazy,” still clacking away at his computer. 

“And do you know what Batman’s biggest weakness is?” 

“Superman?” 

Marinette giggles, “that’s funny. No, his pants.” Tim’s finger’s still as he processes what Marinette just said. “Think about it. If batman has no pants then he would disappear as well. Do you really think Batman would show up anywhere if he had no pants?” A pause. “Batman must really love his pants,” Marinette adds thoughtfully.

Tim begins ferociously clacking away on his computer again. “This is amazing,” he whispers, “we can use this against them! Amazing,” he says, whispering the last word with, well, amazement. 

“I know, right? We could like… take over the world with this information or something.” 

Tim gasps, finally turning to Marinette sprawled on his bed, “we totally could!” Suddenly he looks around and lowers his voice as if sharing a secret, as if there was anyone else besides Marinette to hear anyway. Marinette sits up and leans in excitedly, “we totally could,” he repeats. 

Marinette nods her head enthusiastically, “and we can totally give it back afterwards. Like, it’s no big deal. Just to like, prove we could.” 

Tim’s eyes grow wide and he nods his head with child-like excitement, “let’s do it.” 

-------

“24 hours later, now with 7 hours of sleep between them in four days, Marinette and Tim had developed the most bestestest plan to ever grace the mise of anyone, it was-”

“Mise?” Dick interrupts again, trying to figure out what she was saying. 

Marinette scrunches her face up, “My- mizzzee- my- m- myyy-nnnd. Mind.” She finally corrects then turns her focus back to the imaginary camera, “of anyone who ever lived. It was spectacular.”

“This is horrific.”

“Exactly. So horrible that it worked miraculously. I say that totally seriously. Seriously. No, I am not a miraculous, ask Ladybug.” Marinette then switches demeanor shifts in her seat and asks: “Ladybug?” she shifts in her seat again to slightly face the opposite direction and answers herself, “Yes?” She shifts again. “Are you a miraculous?” Shifts. “No. I am not.” Marinette looks back into the imaginary camera, “See? She says Marinette is not Ladybug….” she trails off for a moment, her head slowly dropping indicating she was very close to falling asleep. 

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Marinette snaps her head back up.

“Oh but it has. Tim and Marinette had targeted every single weak point of every JMLA member, the Jumpstice League stood no chance against the duo. Tim crafted a device that tracked Lois Lane, gathering any and all data on her to mimic her, including her heartbeat and scent so that Superman would be properly duped. Setting the trap in his very own house-” she suddenly cuts herself off and looks between Tim and Dick, “by the way did you know? That man is like, super weak to Kryptonite. It would have been so much easier to know that in the beginning. And also that he has a cousin? She’s very pretty, right, Tim?” She turns to her boyfriend who is looking at her with a soft smile.

“Mmhm. You’re very pretty.” 

Marinette ignores him and continues, “So Tim and Marinette trapped him in a cage of kryptonite-”

“You did WHAT!?”

“-and he totally passed out, the two heroes are still a bit confused why he was making such a big deal about it.” Marinette pays no mind to Dick as he reaches out and shakes his hands like he wants to strangle her neck.  “Tim then crafted a signal miminicking a detest call-”

“Distress,” Dick corrects. 

“-distress call from Themyscira rendering Wonder Woman unavailable. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for us it was her birthday and since I’m good friends with Momma Wonder,” she abruptly turns to Dick and points a finger at him as if he was a five year old in trouble and adds: “that’s Queen Hipopotolia to you, Mister,” before turning back, “they threw her a total rager,” again changing her demeanor and rolls her eyes “which I’m missing right now by the way, so she’ll be gone for a few more days, those gals really know how to party…. 

“Then the Flash. He was easier than the two expected, they meanly- I mean merely, well, meanly too- slapped a speed force inhibitor around his wrists. He couldn’t tap into the speed force to vibrate through it, he couldn’t cut it off, he would definitely die including everyone else in a mile radius-” Marinette swivels her head to Dick and smacks the table,”-nuclear bombs are SUPER dangerous by the way, you really don’t want to mess with them. 

“He couldn't contact anyone, any electric device he came across was rendered useless due to Tim’s genius, once again. 

“You’re so smart, baby, they couldn't have done this without you,” she adds out of the blue looking at Tim with a proud smile 

“Mhmm. You’re so pretty,” he repeats while Dicks drops his head into his hands. 

“They knew the Flash had friends so they did what they had to and locked him in one of those big containers that you sometimes see on trains and sometimes see on big ships and is currently in the middle of the ocean. Also that inhibitor thingy works as a shock collar too so like screaming electrocutes him preeeetty bad.”

“If the JLA doesn’t kill the both of you, I will.”

“The Martian Manhunter, well, you know what they say, show, don’t tell…. Marinette looks deep into the “camera” willing it to see what she was seeing.

--------

“J’onn J'onzz.” The green alien turns around to find two young adults who looked uncharacteristically professional, hands clasped behind their straight backs and serious expressions.

“...Ladybug. Red Robin. What can I do for you?” J’onn places an alien piece of tech down to focus on the two of them. Unfortunately he could not read Ladybug’s mind when she was in the suit and Red Robin’s mind was a mess of noises and jumbled thoughts that made no sense whatsoever, except one that was a bit louder than the rest and was repeated like a mantra. 

Christmas eve, 1998. 

J’onn tensed, “What do you want,” he demanded more than asked, overly concerned about how and why that thought was in Red Robin’s mind. 

“Nothing. Exactly that. Nothing,” Ladybug responded. “We need you to leave, to go somewhere for a few days and to not resurface or interfere in any way, shape, or form. And in return we will delete anything and everything that ever existed on Christmas Eve of 1998. It’ll be like it never existed.” 

“I can’t do that.” 

Ladybug suddenly broke her composure and groaned. “Oh come oooon, We promise no one will get hurt!” she linked her hands together and gave the Martian a pout, “pleeaaseee?” 

“The last time you two were like this you “accidentally” created a multimillion dollar company solely based on cosplay.” Ladybug was not phased and Tim was still chanting Christmas Eve, 1998 in his head, the boy probably wasn’t even aware time had passed since he got there. J’onn sighed, whatever they were up to it probably wasn’t too big of a deal. “Fine. But I want proof everything is deleted.” 

“Yess, it’s a deal, big man. See you in a few days! C’mon Tim.” 

“Can I stop repeating that thing in my head now?”

------

“Marinette.”

She breaks and looks at Dick impatiently, “I’m telling a story right now, what do you want?”

“You’ve been staring at the wall for 5 minutes straight, where is Martian Manhunter?”

“Oh I don’t know, he should be back on Tuesday though,” she shrugs and nods at the same time but like a switch has been flipped she is serious again. “As for Aquaman? Well, he has his own problems in the undersea. As you know the detective of Justice is Batman, Aquaman? Not much of a detective at all. But, having a mystery that needed to be solved in the undersea would have to be done with the bat’s assistance. However, Batman had his own problems to mace. 

“Face?”

“Yes. A problem that he will never be able to solve without asking for little help of his own. Unfortunately for him, his pride and dignity was on the verge of devolution- devil- devolve… ded- destru- destruction! Also all communication to Alfred was severed and he was sent to the Bahamas to relax since Tim and Marinette promised that since Batman would not be able to be fight he would be safe.”

“Ohhh is that where he went? No wonder there was no breakfast this morning.” Tim drops his hand supporting his face and looks at Marinette in wonder. 

“Babe we went over this like one time, you should know this.”

“Oh, right, yeah… I still haven’t eaten.” Tim lays his head down on his arm sadly and promptly falls asleep. 

“And last, and definitely least, Green Lantern. Marinette, miraculoused in her all-black ninja suit- wait no- no miraculous involved, it was just black clothes,” Marinette trailed off and snorted. “I really just stole the Green Lanterns ring… It was uhhh, it was actually kind of easy….

“Marinette had slipped the ring from Hal’s hand and put it on her own, quickly and quietly slipping out the way she came but not before taking the battery thing that powers the ring and stealing every single cup in the house. The ring had then proved useful as it assisted in Marinette’s journey.”

“Wait. How?” 

Marinette shrugs as if it weren’t such a big deal when it definitely was. “I don’t know, it actually gave me a little speech about going to Goodwill and then told me I was a lantern. Wait, do you think someone would have bought me if I posed as a lantern…? Oh yeah! I totally had a green suit and everything, it was crazy. Look! I still have it,” she stuck her hand out to show Dick, the thick green ring almost making contact with his face as she practically jumped over the table to show him. “I don’t want to give it back to Hal though it’s like… a really cool ring,” she says sadly as she sits back down, not giving Dick an actual chance to look at the ring. 

“Ok. Ok.” Dick drags a hand through his hair in frustration. “What about batman? Where is he?”

Marinette shoots both of her hands up and points at the one way mirror behind Dick’s head, “Boom! Right behind ya in that there mirror.” Then she again turns to the imaginary camera to continue her saga.

“Batman. The easiest, yet most difficult. The smartest, yet most helpless. And though Marinette and Tim wish they could have said they did it alone, they desperately needed the help of a certain… seductress.” 

---

Selena Kyle leans a hip into the counter of a kitchen, quietly making tea when a dark red and black tangle of something falls through an open window and crashes onto the floor, bumping into the family dining table and rattling the vase of wilting flowers. Selena curses loudly and goes to flee but realizes what, or rather who the pile of dark red and is. It’s Red Robin and Ladybug, otherwise known as Tim Drake and Marinette Dupain-Cheng. 

The two groan loudly and clumsily untangle themselves and flop on the ground next to each other apparently too lazy to stand up at the moment. 

“Hey,” Ladybug says, moving her head to the side to look at the standing woman. 

“Hey,” Selena takes a sip of her tea and almost laughs when she realizes that Red Robin had either been knocked out or  had simply fallen asleep. 

Ladybug’s words are slurred together when she says, “we need your help,” while slowly blinking. Either she was on something, very drunk, or very sleep deprived. Knowing the two of them and considering Red Robin was fast asleep on the floor it was probably the sleep deprivation. 

Selena acts as though she’s considering it even though she would help regardless, whatever it was these two were planning she wanted in. 

“Only if you agree to owe me a favor.” 

Ladybug (who had closed her eyes for a moment) snapped her eyes open and grinned, quite evilly, “what we’re planning will be favor enough.” Then, as if the conversation had ended, rolled her head around taking her surroundings in, “this isn’t your house.” 

Selena chuckles, “no it’s not, but you found me here anyways.”

“Ohhhhh, right I forgot about that, do you know the person who owns this house?” Selena shakes her head and Marinette hums in response, wandering her eyes over the kitchen. “So what do you say about the pant situation?” 

“The what?”

------

“The mystery woman had easily fallen for the trap. With her help, Tim and Marinette had almost succeeded in world domination, all that was left was to carry out the plans….”

---

Dick pauses the video and turns to the two heroes who were blushing furiously and fidgeting, waiting until they could bolt. 

“I thought you were going to sit there for a few more minutes then start talking again but you just kept sitting there until I realized you had fallen asleep with your eyes open.” He huffed and started to type into the computer again. “You’re lucky none of the JLA members got hurt or that this-” he clicks a file “video did not get out to the world.”

Ladybug and Red Robin stand in a professional stance with hands clasped behind their backs, they were standing slightly off-center of the screen with an empty JLA table behind them.  

“Good evening, world. I am Ladybug.”

“And I am Red Robin.”

“We have single handedly disposed of the JLA.”

“They will no longer terrorize our world-”

“Burn down our cities-”

“Trample us underfoot-”

“Wait-” Ladybug breaks character and turns to Red Robin, “are we describing Godzilla?”

Red Robin furrows his brow for a moment before bursting out in laughter, grabbing onto Ladybug and dragging her down into hysterics as well. They fall to the floor out of view of the camera but their guffaws are still spilling over the speakers very loudly. 

Several minutes later they stand up, wiping their tear-streaked cheeks.

“Anyways,” Red Robin continues, a chuckle still present in his voice, “We totally have taken over the world and you!” he points into the camera.

“Are!” Ladybug repeats his movement.

“Under our control!” they chorus together, pointing their thumbs at themselves as if this were some sort of disney channel ad, some sort of joke and that they hadn’t just literally threatened world domination, hadn’t just succeeded in world domination. 

They held the pose for a moment before Red Robin relaxed, Ladybug held her pose and continued to look into the camera while Red Robin reached up and paused the video.

“Luckily,” Dick begins, “You streamed the video straight to your own computer and not to the entire world, and luckily, you left your computer open on the dining tables for Duke to see it and for the rest of us, minus Jason,” he adds hotly, “to fix your mess.” 

“At least you caught the perpetrator?” Marinette adds helpfully, her voice going up like a question and her face scrunched up hoping that the comment would placate Dick.

It did not. 

Bonus:

Dick has both Marinette and Tim sitting side by side in an interrogation room, Tim is smiling and staring at Marinette with hearts in his eyes and sighing happily every once in a while Marinette is staring intently at the wall a few feet to the right of Dick’s head and talking as if she were the narrator of the documentary of her Tim’s “adventure” of literally taking over the world. 

“This is insane.” Bruce Wayne whispers behind the one way glass with a towel wrapped around his waist, every single pair of pants he owned was still missing. And would continue to be missing until he admitted he needed help, the rest of the batfam had collectively agreed to not help him until he asked for help, much to Bruce’s chagrin. 

Bonus Bonus: 

The video is shaky but clear, it’s facing a dingy empty stage with a lone mic stand in the middle at what seems to be Karaoke night in an even dingier bar. The crowd is mostly quiet save for the buzz of conversation until the start of “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey starts and everyone cheers. The camera violently shakes and Hal Jordan’s voice booms through the speakers,

“Let’s go babyyyyy!!” 

A few moments later and J’onn J’onzz, in his human form, hops onto the stage clearly hammered and most definitely not in control of his actions. He dances awkwardly around the stage until the first lyrics on the screen behind him light up. 

“Oh when you walk by every night, talkin sweet and lookin fine, I get kinda hectic inside,” along with the words he points to someone in the crowd then puts the back of his hand to his forehead to indicate “swooning”. 

“Oh baby, I’m so into you,” he clumsily hops off the stage and staggers over to someone at one of the front tables. The video zoomed in for a bit and focuses on the woman who briefly looks around her table with a laugh and she raises her strong arms, welcoming the drunk martian. 

“Darling, if you only knew,” J’onn’s smile was so wide and he laughed into the mic instead of singing the next few lyrics. He forced Wonder Woman’s chair from the table with his telekinesis, and with an excessive amount of exaggeration he circled the chair, dragging his hand over her face. The other women, more Amazons by the looks of their arms, pounded the table howling in laughter. 

“But it’s just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby, When I close my eyes, you come and take me,” he circles to her front and boops her nose as he sings “take me” before turning around and facing the stage. 

“On and on and on,” he looks back at Wonder Woman seductively and winks, “it’s so deep in my daydreams,” he hops back on the stage, “but it’s just a-” his foot gets tangled in the mic’s cords and his voice is cut off when he tries to save himself from smashing into the ground. 

He fails. 

Laughter erupts in the bar and the camera is slammed onto a table and Hal’s wheezing is heard above the others before the video cuts off.

phew *wipes brow* that was... actually a loooooottttt, but I hope it made you laugh and i really hope it wasn’t confusing to read! *smiles awkwardly and waves* byee....

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[morgansunflower]

Blushing And Cupcakes

Bruce Wayne/Batman X Reader

Dick Grayson/Robin X Mom! Reader

Clark Kent X Sister! Reader

Warnings:non

Words: 1284

Y/N Kent, twin sister of Superman. She is in love with a man whom she once thought she hated. They respected each other, then they began a friendship and now she's beginning to fall for him. Dick aka Robin, totally sees their love for each other and thinks they would be perfect for each other, so does Clark.

I step into the lounge of the watchtower. I walked in and saw a little boy in a uniform, with a mask. He saw me and gasped holding Bruce's leg. So cute!

"it's alright Robin. I thought you wanted to meet, H/N?" he said

I halfway smiled and knelt down

"hi" I said to the shy boy

I held my hand out he shook it

"I'm D-Robin" he said

He let go of my hand and Bruce. He gently smiled as did I

"hi, Robin I've heard a lot about you. I'm, H/N"

He smiled confidently "I have so many questions. Like, can you see my bones right now? Can you fly? Well I already know that, can you read minds? Or hear my hear my heart beat? Oh, can you tell the difference between mine, Superman's and Batman's heart beat?"

"Robin" Bruce said stern

"sorry" he says uncomfortable

I wink at him "it's OK, Robin and yes to all your questions"

"cool!"

I chuckled and stood I see, my brother softly smiling to me. I am never going to hear the end of this. One year later, at my old home in Smallville. In my civilian clothes and wearing my glasses. Visiting with my Ma. I held a cup of tea as did Ma wall we sat on the porch swing.

She touches my wrist "so tell me about your new boyfriend?"

"what boyfriend? You know I'm too busy for any of that nonsense"

"so you're brother was fibbing to your Ma" she questioned with a knowing look

Dammit, I feel my cheeks slightly heat up thinking about Bruce. Ma, began to laugh. I chuckled shaking my head. Ma, squeezed my wrist.

"all a mother wants is her children's happiness.." she touches my cheek "perhaps some grandchildren to"

"Ma!" I exclaimed

She chuckled softly. I hear my brother's Heartbeat! I saw, Clark.

Mom slightly scoffed "oh, there's your brother we were planning to surprise you"

What is he doing here? I haven't seen him in such a long time. He had been off planet for 6 months.

"Clark" I gasped I super-speed hugging his neck

"Y/N" he said

He hugged me I hugged him tight. We parted. He touched my cheek and sighed

"I missed you" he said

"I missed you too"

I softly smile to my older brother.

"I haven't seen you in a while. Let's go talk and catch up" he suggested

"sure" I nodded

We walked through the meadow just like when we were kid's. We stopped by the lake skipping rocks all the way to the other side of the bank.

"I was gone for too long I missed my baby sister" he mumbled

"missed you too"

He skipped a rock across the lake "so tell me about what happened?"

"what are you talking about?" I intrigued

"Bruce, you can't tell me that you haven't seen him today"

"how did you?.. " I was with Bruce helping him on a league mission a few hours ago

"Y/N, I'm not stupid everytime you've been around him your heart is literally racing for hours. Not to mention you're in a lot better mood"

"my heart doesn't race in fact it's very steady" I appalled

I look at him seeing his smirk

I scoff rolling my eyes "oh, whatever what about when you are around, Lois"

He laughed "that's exactly my point" I elbow his gut "ouch! I'll tell Ma!" he said laughing

"I'm so scared" I mocked "which speaking of Ma I don't appreciate you telling her my feelings for Bruce"

"so you do have feelings for him"

I grunted "I'm going to heat blast your ass" he chuckled, putting his arm across me to my shoulder and rubbed my arm leaning me to him. I huffed readjusting my glasses

"I hate you always see through me" I sighed

"I know" he says kissing my head

Later that evening a fundraiser for Wayne enterprise that, Clark and Lois convinced me go to. I made it standing outside wearing my f/c dress. People standing outside. This made me feel even more uncomfortable. I just want to see Bruce and Dick

"hey, Y/N!" I hear Grayson say

I look seeing him he made a funny face. I chuckled sticking my tongue out to the side of my mouth. I saw Bruce! I instantly stopped putting my tongue back in my mouth. I brushed my hair back looking like a fool. Dick, started laughing. I'm going to wash his mouth out with soap!

"H-hi Bruce I uh it's good to see you" I feel my cheeks redding, dammit.

I'm such a stuttering idiot

"hello, Y/N" he says bluntly as always

"Mr Wayne!" I hear a reporter yell

Can I please die right now? That was so humiliating. Bruce, walked off to the sound of a man calling him. Dick walked to me and laughed. I touch his chin and squint my eyes at him

"you just had to go and make me embarrass myself in front of Bruce"

I lower my hand he just grinned

"you know he really loves you" he said with a chuckle

"would you like to spend the evening talking about something enjoyable and not my affection for Bruce"

"so you do love him!"

"alright moving on let's go find something to eat"

Dick held my hand and pulled me inside. I saw the decorations and food on table's. Dick, pulls me to the tower of cupcakes. We both enjoy the cupcakes

"Y/N, do you have any kid's?" Dick asked

I ignored the question and saw he had icing on his lips. I smiled and used a napkin to wipe his face

"well?" he asked

"well what?" I asked chuckling

I wiped all the icing off his face he laughed. I threw the napkin in the trash bin

"do you have any kid's?" he asked again

"no I don't have any kid's what makes you think I have kids" I asked laughing

"nothing you're just very motherly"

"well thank you for the compliment, Dick. I do love kid's" I said

"and Bruce" he added smirking

I sighed "I'm going to have to wash your mouth out with soap you little squirt!" I say

He laughed. As it started getting late Dick and I sat at the chairs by the table playing I spy. Bruce discussing God knows what with other people that were interested

"I spy something" Dick yawned "pink" he said tired

"the cupcake wrapper and you already picked that... I spy someone tired" I said

I looked at my clock on my phone and huffed this thing won't be done for a while. Bruce would probably not like Dick sleeping in here

"hey Dick you want to go for a walk" I asked

His half-open blue eye's look at me. He gently nodded he got up and rubbed his eye's. We went outside I carried him on my back. As I walked he fell asleep. I waited for Bruce wall I stood outside. Finally it was over people started leaving

"Dick!" Bruce yelled

I walked up to him, Bruce saw him he sighed

"thank you for watching him, Y/N"

"my pleasure. I'll help you put him in the car" I said

Bruce didn't respond, I followed him to the car. Bruce took the sleeping boy from my arm's and laid Dick inside and shut the car door

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow" I said softly wishing my heart would steady

He touched my chin and kissed my cheek as I instantly blush bright red. He got in his car and left. I flew high into the sky screaming in joy

[liquid-luck-00]

Gifts

Bio!Dad Bruce

Day 13: Gifts

@biodad-bruce-month

Ao3 ~~~ First ~~~ Previous ~~~ Next

~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas seemed to arrive much sooner than anyone had thought possible. Marinette had only been part of their family for two months but anyone could tell that something had changed in the Manor.

Christmas eve was spent baking. Well Marinette and Alfred baked. Everyone else was only allowed to watch and then help with the frosting. The Kents had come over for dinner and afterwards Barbara and Commissioner Gordon arrived. Followed by Stephanie, Cass, and Duke.

A game tournament was held until 11pm, where there was a lot of UMS III, several board games, and two extremely competitive games of Clue. Dick had organized a secret Santa and gifts were exchanged at midnight, only after every one got snacks, their gifts, and any other last second thing came up. Bruce gave the first gift at the stroke of twelve to Lois.

Bruce gave Lois a new recorder, notebook, and per set. Lois gave the peacock pin to Alfred, at Marinette's suggestion and offer. Alfred gave Cass a book set with taped recordings. Cass gifted Jason with a replica of Jack Sparrow's pistol. Jason gave Barbara a charm bracelet with a bat, crystal ball, and a police badge. Barbara gave Damian a faux leather jacket and a pair of throwing blades. Damian gave Stephanie a box of chocolates and a new traveling bag. Stephanie gave Tim a new insulated mug and the strongest coffee she could find. Tim gifted Clark a new communicator/watch, he tends to break them a lot. Clark decided to give Gordon a classic analog watch. Gordon presented Dick with the poster of the Flying Grayson's when they were last in Gotham. Dick, thanks to Mari, gave Duke a custom yellow motto jacket designed after the Bride's in Kill Bill. Duke, curtesy of Tim, gave Jon a watch communicator similar to his dad's. Jon gave Marinette a sketchbook with a note from him as well as a sketch from Damian. Finally Mari gifted her father with a hand embroidered tie, little bats that only showed when the light hit it just right, and black bat cuffs to match.

After the exchange everyone either watched Christmas movies, played more games, or in Mari and Jason's case slipped away to fight an akuma in Paris. Luckily it was an easy fight that was less than 5 minutes.

By 2am Commissioner Gordon and Barbara left followed by the Kents. Duke, Stephanie, and Cass left not long afterwards, saying something about meeting the Titians or was it the YJ for a mission.

"Your seriously not going to try this again are you baby bird?" Dick asked Damian from next to Mari.

"Santa Claus will be caught, I will make sure of it" he said resolutely.

"You couldn't do it last year, you won't be able to this year" Tim replied sipping his cocoa, since 10 pm Mari had been swapping his cups so he finally gave up after the 25th cup.

"Replacement's right" Jason seconded.

"Qamri your with me right?"

"If you want me to help rig a trap I will" she began "but you won't catch him" she finished with a smirk.

"Wait what does that mean?" Dick turned towards her, well everyone had.

"Santa Clause is a powerful and old spirit or Meta if you prefer" Mari answered.

"How do you know this? If it is even true that is"

Damian questioned.

"Tikki" she shrugged "Anyways if he can get on Apokalips and get past Darkseid, give him a chunk of coal, without being caught. I don't know if you will do any better."

The four watched Christmas movies and fell asleep on the couch.

---

Bruce had woken up and it was a silent Christmas morning and that was odd. Usually Damian would have been in a rage for either not staying up or complaining that he didn't catch St. Nick. So naturally he went to see if he was still asleep. What he found was an empty bed. He checked Jason's room empty, but that wasn't that odd. Marinette's room was also empty, but he didn't smell any sweets and that was odd. Dick wasn't in his room either but he would probably be itching to open gifts.

So he went down to the living room and that was where he found all his children asleep on a pile of pillows and blankets.

"Why don't we break tradition and have breakfast while opening gifts?" he spoke to Alfred who had appeared beside him.

"As you wish Sir"

"I'll help" he followed Alfred and carried a tray of pancakes, waffles, and toast, while Alfred brought cocoa, tea, fruits, and syrup. As they walked in

his four children began to wake up.

"Is that hot cocoa?"

"Yes it is Miss Mari"

“No big strategy to catch St. Nick this year Damian?”

“There were but an unforeseen variable came into play”

“And what was it”

“Tikki and her seemingly vast knowledge of the man in question” He was confused and he was about to voice that confusion when he was jarred from his thoughts.

Dick who already seemed completely awake already. "Who gets to give the first set of gifts?" At that Marinette, Tim, Damian, and Jason seemed to wake up.

Before anyone could argue Bruce spoke up "Mini it's your first Christmas with us would you like to be first?"

---

"Sure" She moved to the tree and pulled six gifts.

Jason was the first to get his. It was a new brown leather jacket with a hood, lined with a deep red. Tim was next, she gave him a custom work bag that was reminiscent of Red Robin with the Gotham skyline. Damian was given a watch with a hidden Robin 'R' on it. Dick got a letterman jacket with patches from where he preformed with his parents, while the front patch was his Nightwing insignia. Alfred she gave a complete recipe book from her parent's bakery. Finally she gave her father a sketch of Batman and his partners, a framed photo of the two of them in Paris, she took it while he was distracted covered in flour, and she wrote him a letter on the back of the photo.

Afterwards everyone else gave their gifts. She got a katana from Damian. A black leather jacket with blush pink lining and piping from Jason. A new drawing tablet and pen from Tim. Dick had given her a necklace and bracelet set to complement her miraculous. Alfred gave her a mini bat backpack. Her father gave her a strand of pearls all were white but the central pearl, which was golden.

Everyone was enjoying, and for one not arguing or fighting, the morning. All She could think was that her father, grandfather. and brothers are the best gift she could have received.

Bonus:

"Qamri, really a watch how come even the replacement got a better thought of gift?" Damian pouted.

"Not everything is what it seems" she giggled. she put the watch on his wrist and turned the crown four times. He was engulfed in shadows and then he stood there in his Robin uniform.

"How?"

"A modified miraculous binding, Tikki helped me with it. But long story short no time limit and when you need to change your uniform, upgrade or fix, just scan it."

"So it's not magical?"

"Nope more like translocation"

Next

~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@mochinek0 @justafanwarrior @abrx2002 @ranger-gothamite @fantasiame @moonystars14 @mochegato @bigbeautifulandfullofsugar @maribat-is-lifeblood @iglowinggemma28 @miraculous-ninja @talutah0 @vixen-uchiha @danielslilangel @witchsblackfox @pawsitivelymiraculous @lizziejay @marinettepotterandplagg @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @dast218 @sassakitty @miyla-lokidottir @lilkymilky @tazanna-blythe @tired-butterfly @lozzybowe @smolplantmum @queencommonsense @loopingtangent @chez-pezeater @paintedhope7 @technicallyburninggarden @meme991001 @wannajointhecrabcult @melicmusicmagic @trippingovermyfeet @greatcatblaze @fidget-eep @miraculouslydumb @iamablinkmarvelarmy @laurcad123 @hauntedwintersweets @fc-studios @fusser90 @madking-warqueen @buginetye @little-lady-bird @thebooki3h @iamabrownfox

[anunvalidcritic]

Justice League: Snyder Cut

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Oh, the time has come my friends! Now, I originally did a review on Batman V.S. Superman and I didn’t care for it, so I deleted it. But before I start, I would like y’all to read this statement made by @verified-villain-fxcker - You can click HERE to read it. As I stated in my repost, I couldn’t have said it better. May Autumn Snyder continue to rest in peace. Let’s get started!

It’s been so long since I’ve made a post I can’t even remember how I do this LOL.

CLARK is outta there to say the least...

WONDER WOMAN and LOIS look flabbergasted, as they should... BRUCE as well.

Talk about a shock-wave scream 

All jokes aside, the hate that LEX has towards SUPERMAN is just to much energy to be giving to another person..

THESE BITCHIES ARE READY

why are they letting a minority approach the fucking the cube?!?!

*insert travel montage scene here*

                      Part 1 - “Don’t count on it, Batman.”

BRUCE knows damn well he’s talking to AQUAMAN. Let’s move this shit along lol

“Oh Gotham? How’s that shit hole?” - AQUAMAN

Ik these bitchies aren’t singing rofl

I’d sniff anything wore by Jason Momoa too.

“Maybe a man who broods in a cave isn’t cut out to be a recruiter.” - ALFRED

TALK YO SHIT ALFRED!!!!

AMY ADAMS can literally take my heart, step on it, throw it in a river and I still wouldn’t be mad. 

Here comes the lovely WONDER WOMAN!

broooo her hands were moving like Donnie Yen in Ip Man!

Fucked that entire ceiling up

Ofc the one who tried to touch it would make the stupid statement. 

STEPPENWOLF is really wildin’ out

Don’t look back! I hate it when they look back!!

These are some strong as women!

                             PART 2 - “The Age of Heroes”

“It’s toxic, that’s good.” - STEPPENWOLF

I can only imagine that this is how toxic people think. 

this dude really just threw that lil demon fella like it was nothin’ lmao

You know you're working at a job for too long when you say this is the first time in a while that they're going home early smdh

Now that shit was pretty lit....

SILAS thinkin’ shit I better check on my son. 

“You know a lot about monsters, don’t you? Especially how to make them.” - CYBORG

If that isn’t teen angst, then I don’t know wtf is lmao

Seeing Gal in this tomb makes me want to re-watch Wonder Woman 1 all over again!

DARKSEID ol’ trifflin’ ass

plopped him down like he was dirty laundry

God bless Willem Dafoe, this man is a fuckin’ legend!

“This world is divided. They’re a primitive species. Unevolved and at war with one another. Too separate to be one.” - STEPPENWOLF

DeSaad kinda looks like Doctor Doom in the Fantasic Four reboot lmao

GREEN LATERNS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

we really need a Green Lantern Corps moving...

ZEUS + ARES = A Dynamic Duo When They Aren’t Being Dicks To Each Other

You know I feel bad for man because all they did was bury that shit in the ground rofl

                  Part 3 - “Beloved Mother, Beloved Son”

BARRY + IRIS = Love at First Sight 

The burger can’t be that good like damn. 

Bro the detail on his fucking shoes and the glass!!

ROFL PLEASE TELL ME HE TOOK THE HOTDOG FOR HIS DOG!?!? 

damn did the car really need to explode...

lol BARRY must really need the job lol

... I would’ve just played dead after he threw me against that rock...

Man of Steel probably has one of the best soundtracks not just for a superhero movie but just in general

Americans love their football!

I have this love-hate relationship with CYBORG being in the JL and not with the TITANS you know since he’s a kid, but he’s a college student in this one. 

Thank God DIANA spoke with VICTOR instead of BRUCE because I honestly don’t think he would’ve gotten him on board.

Everyone can literally zigzag zoom across this planet at undeniable speed except for BATMAN lol

Come on, VIC, help the lady out.

You know honestly, BARRY has a pretty cool pad for someone who's trying to get by paying for a Criminal Justice Degree. 

“A very attractive Jewish boy. Who drinks milk, I don’t drink milk.” - BARRY

“Fuck the World.” - CYBORG

dang Ik DIANA has every right to grieve over STEVE, but damn that man has her whipped!

“You’re looking at the hottest thing on Earth. The exact same thing I said to my prom date. She dumped me anyway.” - RYAN CHOI

Why does MERA have an accent in this but not in AQUAMAN?? (ik the answer)

DAAAYYUUUMMMN MERA TURNED INTO A WHOLE BLOOD BENDER!

                               PART 4 - “Change Machine”

CYBORG just glided over silently

STEPPENWOLF + WONDER WOMAN = EPIC FIGHT SCENE

Seeing BARRY move like that to stop the debris and to ping DIANA’S sword really is amazing..

But he should not be screaming like that LOL

How do you not remember the planet that’s habitants almost killed you?? Because if that was me, I wouldn’t have forgotten that shit at all!

 Would've held a big ass grudge until I could go back. 

“I know we’re all thinking the same thing right now. Who’s gonna say it? I’m not gonna say it.” - BARRY

WOOOAAHHH J’ONN JONES?! (forgot about that)

 “There are six, not five. There is no us without him.” - BRUCE

Damn, no faith at all 

                         PART 5 - “ALL The King’s Horses”

ICONIC DIALOGUE

BARRY - “Wonder Woman. What do you think, man? You think she’d go for a younger guy?”

VICTOR - “She’s 5,000 years old, Barry. Every guy is a younger guy.”

I would’ve kept swippin’ that ID like a cashier at Wal-Mart swippin’ a debit card.

They're movin’ a little too slow for me. Ik they’ve never been on the ship before, but I would’ve been zoomin’ through that entire ship just to hurry and get the job done. 

NOT THE PREGNANCY TEST

Damn, they couldn’t have at least picked up the photo??

The foreshadowing was spectacular! It will always amaze me. 

I’m sure Allstate will cover that person’s car...

Just when LOIS was about to move on. 

CLARK grabbed DIANA like miss me with that Rafiki shit.

I would’ve come back to my senses too after looking at Amy Adams. 

AQUAMAN + THE FLASH = A CONUNDRUM

DR. SILAS takin’ one for the team

                              PART 6 - “Something Darker”

As crazy as radiation is, it’s quite an amazing spectacle.

I wish this Justice League movie could’ve held off until we got some other heroes such as the Green Lanterns, Hawkgirl, and many others. 

Our generation was truly blessed to have an incredible actor as SUPERMAN, and we are not putting him to use!

JONATHAN sounds like President Biden lol

Alright, team?! Break!

AQUAMAN is totally enjoying this fight. He rode that Parademon like a surfboard.

AQUAMAN + CYBORG + FLASH = *THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN*

I swear every scene that WONDER WOMAN enters into does not fail to include the “Ancient Lamentation Music”. 

VICTOR hurry up and say “one” god damnnit!!

SUPERMAN COLD!!!!

Somebody needs to put this fight on WorldStar

BARRY = HE’S A RUNNA HE’S A TRACK STAHHHHARRR!!!

THAT WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

The Unity  = The Three Bitchies

I bet DARKSEID will remember that shit now

                        EPILOGUE - “A Father Twice Over”

VICTOR = A Final Requiem

LOL VULKO and MERA look stressed tf out!

“Uh, I have too much to live for. And more important things to do.” - LEX

A cocky motherfucker LMAO

Alright, we’re back in this type of dream sequence. 

“Who have you ever loved?” - MERA

Uh, bitch his parents, Robin tf?!

Thank you, JOKER, for stating the facts for Ms. Fish-stick

 Oh shit, they let LOIS die, goddamn it!

HARLEY’S DEAD TOO?!?!?!

BRUCE LOOK SICK AF!!!

Well, the dream is over once again...

I just don’t see how people can live with all those fuckin’ windows. 

“Oh, and some have called me The Martian Manhunter.” - J’ONN

Alright...

________

Yes, the movie was long but what needed to be expressed was. As we already the Snyder Cut wasn’t supposed to be seen because a father simply wanted to grieve the death of his child. I’ll once again reiterate what @verified-villain-fxcker you don't have to like the film but at least give it the benefit of the doubt from its predecessor. For me, I did enjoy watching his version, but let’s be honest what he who shall not be named did was just fucked up. 

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Daminette Rough Layout AU #1

Warning- This is a Salt AU, it contains Lila salt, Adrien Salt, Alya Salt and Class Salt. Some of the Salt is dramatized, pkease read at your own digression.

Note- Changing things up a bit-they are in high school now-Damian 16 and Marinette 15 and juniors, obviously things are different from canon. Gabriel gave up both miraculous after Adrien dies in one of the akuma fights, he has Nooroo and Duusu bring them to the guardian. Marinette helps heal Duusu so that if he is ever used again the holder will not start to die. Soon after Master Fu takes back Adrien's miraculous and names Marinette the guardian.

He doesnt lose his memories but he does pass away a week later. Marinette also deletes her original website and makes and entire new one under MDC designs after Lila threatens to leave bad reviews.(This happens before she meets Damian, right when they are entering high school.)

They met online after Damian got tired of his brothers making fun of him for talking like an old man. He found Marinette on Twitter, (She has a very popular Twitter blog where she Tweets in English and is considered a meme god.) and after reading her tweets decided that she'd be a good teacher.

After reaching out they agreed on how much she'll be paid and a time that works best for both of them. Every Monday & Wednesday the video chat when Damian has his lunch and study period. For Damian it is 12 to 1 pm, and for Marinette it is 7 to 8 pm. After two months Marinette has successfully made Damian her friend, and he has began opening up to her more. Meanwhile Damian begins to mess with his brothers using memes.

Tim to Jason- I will die if I don't get coffee soon.

Damian passing by the kitchen on his phone- Then perish.

Jason-...Did he just?

Tim- Impossible.

_____________

Dick over the coms while on patrol-I really want candy right now.

Damian drops down next to him and pulls a tidepod of of his belt giving it to Dick before continuing on.

Dick-What the fuck...

Tim having seen from a distance-What did Damian give you candy?

Dick- He gave me a tidepod.

Jason-Your shitting me Goldie.

______________

Jason-What are you eating Damian?

Damian taking a bite of a pop tart- Ravioli...

Jason-Im going fucking crazy.

Alfred-Language Master Jason.

They now text each other durning their free time, Marinette loves receiving pictures of Damian's pets and silly pictures of Damian's friend Jon. Damian loves seeing pictures of her newest designs and Paris at night.

Jon is the only person who knows about Marinette and thats because he crashed one of Damian's classes. He gushes over the fact that Damian is talking to his favorite person on Twitter, then full on fanboys a second later when she follows him back on Twitter. Soon after she becomes friends with Jon too, Lila comes back. After two weeks of fighting her she stops after both Damian and Jon point out that if her classmates were really her friends they wouldnt believe someone they just met over her. Marinette stops doing extra things for the class no more free pastries, banners, clothes or anything. She spends majority of her time on school work, her comissions and talking with Damian and Jon.

Madame Bustier at one point asks her to stay after class. She tells her she is disappointed that Marinette is distancing herself form the class so much. Marinette just tells her that she is done, that if she wants a perfect role model then she should use Lila instead and leaves. The next day she tells Madame Bustier she is stepping down as class president, everyone in the class except for Chloe and Marinette vote for Lila. Marinette has had more free time then she has had in a while and is thriving. She is able to take more and more commissions and even allows Jagged and Clara to give other celebrities access to her website. With a push from Jon she also sets up a Twitter and Instagram account under MDC Designs. With in no time everyone is trying to get an MDC original.

At one point she gets a call from Jon asking her how much it would cost for a MDC original for his mom. Marinette smiles softly telling him to just get his moms measurements for her. When he argues she finally agrees to accept payment but gives him a family discount. Jon agrees with a huff, a month later Jon sends her a video of his mom opening his gift.

Lois-Oh Jon love you know you didnt have to get me anything.

Jon-And let Connor out do me this year? No way.

Connor laughing-Oh shut it Jon!

Jon-cone on open it already mom!

Lois lauging before unwrapping the box- Is this? Jon is this a MDC box?

Connor looking at him with wide eyes.

Jon-open it and see!

Clark-So thats why you asked me for her measurements.

Lois pulls a beautiful knee length navy blue pencil dress. It had a classy V neck and flounce bell sleeves Jon is this and MDC original?

Jon-weeell if you look at the inside of the right sleeve your see her signature marking. Thats not all though mom theres another box!

Lois grabs the other box and unwraps it opening it quickly to find a pair of white lace up Oxford pumps with matching navy laces, MDC hand stitched on the back in navy.

Lois-How did you-how did you get MDC originals?

Jon laughing-I'll never tell!

Marinette saves the video on her phone and tells him he wants a photo of her in it for her website. A week later he send her pictures of his mom in the outfit posing with his dad and the next day he send pictures of her posing with Bruce Wayne on the red carpet. She quickly posts them on Instagram and Twitter tagging Lois, Clark, Bruce and Daily Planet.

'I knew Mrs. Lane would make this one of a kind outfit look beautiful! I was happy to make the dress and shoes as a surprise from her son! Mrs. Lane your son has my number, if you ever want another original talk to him! 💋'

Lois immediately responds to her tweet thank her for the amazing gift, while also asking how her son got in contact with MDC.

Marinette- ' 🤫🤫😘😘💋'

Jon-'You'll never know!!'

Lois, with her bosses approval, writes an article joking about the mystery that is MDC at also an interview where she grills her son on how he knows MDC.

Its a blows up and part of Jon's interview becomes a meme. This part;

Jon-Superman, please come save me from my mom!

Marinette being the meme godess she is decides to quote it on Twitter, but she messes up and posts it on MDC desgins.

MDC-Superman, please come save me from these deadlines!

Half an hour later

MDC-That was meant for my personal Twitter...

Now everyone is also talking about MDC memeing.

After talking with the Kwami Marinette decides to tell Damian and Jon about her time as Ladybug, and how she still goes out and patrols to stop muggers. In return one day Damian and Jon flies him and Damian to paris and they finally meet in person and they tell her their own identities. They leave Gotham at 7 am in Gotham and make it to Paris at 3 pm and wait for her outside of her parents bakery. Marinette flips out and practically tackles the both if them in a hug. She pulls them inside happily introducing her parents to her American friends. After they tell her they decide to spend the rest of the day together. Marinette also takes their measurements telling them its for a surprise. Damian tells her that his brothers are obsessed with MDC and how the wouldnt stop hounding Jon when they found out he had gotten in contact with her.

They go out and Marinette shows them Paris while Jon is slowly pushing them together. He is ecstatic when Marinette wraps one of her fingers around Damien's finger and he respond by grabbing and holding her hand. They are all immensly happy until they are passing by a park and notices her class having a party. At first she doesnt care and just shrugs it off, until the class notices them. Alya accuses Marinette of trying to start drama, she rolls her eyes telling Alya she didnt even know about the party and was just showing her friends around. Damian frowns glaring at the class when he feels Marinette hand start to shake and releases her hand wrapping an arm around her waist in support. Jon is also frowning but simply reminds Marinette that they were going out to eat. Marinette nods and begins telling them about the restaurant they were going to while leaning into Damian's side.

They turn leaving the class behind only for Adrien to hurry after them. Adrien tries to convince Marinette to return and spend time with the class saying he missed his friend. Marinette tells him that they arent friends anymore, that friends dont allow lies to be spread about their friends. She takes the boys and they finally make it to the restaurant.

Damian pays refusing to let Marinette or Jon touch the check. They spend the rest of their time at Marinette's house watching movies until they leave at 9pm wishing Marinette goodnight and making it back to Gotham at 3 pm. When they get back to the manor Bruce confronts Damian asking why he got notified that Damian's card had been used in Paris. Thats how Bruce finds out about Marinette.

Bruce- shes been teaching you memes?

Damian-yes.

Bruce-...well at least your making friends.

Damian-dont tell the others, they'll want to meet her and Id rather not be embarrassed

Bruce-I wont say anything until they catch you then.

Around the end of Marinette's junior year Lila accuses Marinette of theft and she is once again expelled. Only this time Marinette gets the school board involved and she is quickly cleared of charges. once again. However she decides not to return to the school tired of their treatment. Instead with the help of Jagged and her parents permission she enrolls at Gotham Academy and doesnt tell Damian to surprise him. Jon does know that way he could help her.

Within the week Marinette is in Gotham in her new penthouse apartment with her new gaurdian, a maid/nanny that Penny had recommended. Her name is Margaery she is in her 60s. The next day Marinette is dropped of at school by Margaery, Jon is already there early and helps her get his schedule and everything. Then they wait for Damian to arrive hiding until the see him open his locker Jon distracts him while Marinette hides behind the locker door. The school is very surprised whe. Damian smiles brightly at seeing her. Within the day she is known around the school as both Sunshine and Gotham's new Goddess.

Soon enough Damian Marinette and Jon are never seen withiut tge other except in classes. Many teachers see Marinette as a blessing classes have been calmer shes always willing to volunteer and shes even started tutoring some of the students. Even though she entered late in the year she starts to help the student council and things were more organized and running smoother. What everyone is really happy about is how she seems to bring out the teen in Damian and encourage him to act his age. The only reason they havent posted about her and Damian's relationship is because Damian made it clear he didnt want his family to know.

He starts calling her Angel and Red Bird. Marinette starts calling him Dove and Birdie. They slowly start going on dates while also making sure to hang out with Jon so he didnt feel left behind. Its the beginning of summer when Marinette gets invited to a Wayne gala by Bruce himself with a little note.

'Miss Dupain-Cheng, I would like to meet the girl that has stolen my youngest's attention. Please do not inform him I invited you, I think it will be quite the surprise for him. -Bruce Wayne

She tells Damian to wear a seafoam green tie because it will bring out his eyes, in a sly way so that they will be matching. She then makes a seafoam green Asymmetrical A-line off the shoulders dress adding layers of tulle that forms teirs and finishes with horsehair hemlines. The MDC signature is stictched on to the second layer of tulle.

The night of the Gala she is dropped off by Margaery and Jon leaves his parents to meet her. She tells him that Damian didnt know either and Bruce wanted to surprise him. Jon starts laughing causing Marinette to dissolve into giggles. This catches Jon's parents eyes and they walk over. Jon wuickly introduces her as one of his best friends. Lois and Marinette quickly hit it off and enter the gala together with Jon and Clark following behind them. After 5 minutes Damian spots them, and discreetly hurries over to them.

Damian-Angel!

Lois and Clark are surprised at the nickname and that Damian is smiling even more surprised when he hugs her and holds her hand gently. They stare into each others eyes for a moment until Lois coughs catching boths attention. Damian greets them as he lets go of Marinette's hand wrapping an arm around her waist as she does the same. They stand talking with each other until Lois spots someone she wants to interview and hurries off with Clark. The three of them share a look before all saying food at once. Jon walks ahead of them as Marinette and Damian follow talking to themselves.

M-'Your father wanted to meet me so Im afraid I will no longer be a secret.'

D-'Of course he did, I was hoping to keep those embarrassments known as my brothers away.'

This causes Marinette to laugh leaning her head on his shoulder.

M-'I am sure they arent that bad.'

They spend a good half hour talking with Jon and eating before Bruce finds them and introduces himself to Marinette. Five minutes later she notices Damian's brothers starring at them in shock. She starts giggling and points it out to Damian who groans. Soon after the boys rush over to interrogate their brother dragging him away from Marinette Jon and Bruce.

While Damian is dealing with them Jagged and Penny both find Marinette. Eventually the boys force Damian to introduce them to Marinette. She hits it off with all of them promising to visit the mansion. Jon convinces Damian to ask Marinette to be his girlfriend. He asks her to dance with him and asks while they are dancing. That night Marinette Damian and Jon leave together for an impromptu sleepover at Marinette's. Margaery picks them up greeting both parents and assuring them that there kids will be safe, and they will be camping out in the living room.

Marinette surprises the boys with handmade pjs once they get to her house and Margaery surprises them with cookies. The next day she goes to the mansion with Damian and gets to know his brothers more piecing together who is who of the Batfamily. At one point Jason insinuates that Marinette couldnt fight so she challenges his to a spar. Jason being cocky holds back and gets his butt kicked, he asks for a rematch and doesnt hold back this time, still gets his butt kicked.

While Damian and Marinette are saying goodbye she jokes about how long its going to take his siblings to realize shes a hero not a civilian. Damian finds it hilarious. When Marinette gets home she tells Margaery that she was going up to the roof to look at the stars for inspiration. Margaery allows her making her take a blanket, hor chocolate and some cookies with her. That night Nightwing lands on her roof and 'startles' causing her to throw her cup at him hitting him in the gut

Robin chuckling-That bitch empty,

Mari and Robin together-Yeet!

Marinette laughs offering him a cookie as Nightwing gets up

Nightwing-Nice throw.

Marinette laughs harder her eyes twinkling.

Mari-Sorry you startled me I must have lost track of time I should head back home now. Have a safe patrol Birdies!

She says before passing other of them leaving the plate of cookies behind for them. Over the summer Marinette and Damian visit her parents for two weeks before returning to Gotham. The rest of the summer is filled with dates between her and Damian the Gotham Gazette is having a field day with them.

They're referred to as the Goddess and the Prince and every date is talked about the next day. When summer is over Marinette Damian and Jon are back for their senior year. Marinette decides to run for student body president and Jon runs as her vice president, they both tease Damian about being the trophy boyfriend and he responds that he is fine with it as long as hes the trophy boyfriend to Marinette. Marinette and Jon win with an almost unanimous vote. It is half way through their senior year when Damian's brothers realize she knows. Bruce and Babs already know. Jason teasingly jokes about Damian outing them to a civilian and Marinette jist goes

Marinette-Jayby(This is her nickname for him), I have beaten you in spars 9 out of 10 times and you still think Im a civilian.

Tim-What?

Marinette sighs before calling Tiki out and transforming. (She has a different outfit. Period. Her hair is pulled into a high ponytail, held by a red ribbon. It has a completely black mask, her top was sleeveless and was a deep red. She had gloves that stopped at her elbows the same deep red but with black poka-dots. Her pants were completely black with a red belt holding her yoyo. Her outfit was finished with red combat boots with black soles.) Everyone is silent as they taken in her outfit.

Damian-God your so beautiful.

Marinette-Aw Dove

Que a sweet kiss where Jason gags jokingly before Tim flips out about her being Ladybug. Marinette jokingly says that he didnt react that way to her being MDC.

Tim-what?

Dick-This time your oulling my leg.

Marinette-You didnt know? I was always giving you guys family discounts.

Tim-Your MDC...my favorite fashion designer is my future sister-in-law. Thats why your commissions always seemed cheaper than others. Im chalant right now.

This causes Dick to burst out laughing.

Dick-Really becuase Im whelmed!

Bruce smiles slightly remembering when his eldest would use to his 'Unwords' all the time.

That night Marinette patrols with them and Gotham gains a new hero LadyBird. With a little shove from Damian and begging from Tim, Marinette begins to grow MDC even more by partnering with Wayne Enterprises. Marinette and Damian are the power couple of the school, they have majority of their classes together both being in AP and Honors classes. As the school president Marinette is notified that during the last quarter of second semester a French class is doing an exchange program at Gotham Academy.

Her and Jon have to escort them around the school the first week. Marinette argues a bit at first.

Mari-I understand that it is important but Jon and I are still heavily working on Prom, Senior's Last Peprally, Senior Awards, Senior vs Freshman Football, Prom King and Queen vote and The Senior trip.

Jon-Mari is right is there anyway we could pick someone else to show them around. There are a few other people in student council that speak French.

They both convince the Principal to allow the Secretary of the Student Council, Candy St.Cloud, to show them around. Marinette, Jon and Damian avoid them, none of Marinette's old class knows Marinette is there until votes for Prom King and Queen pops up and Marinette's name is on the ballet.

Lila bursts into tears claiming her Dami promised her she'd be on the ballet since he goes to that school. They all try to hunt her down and give her shit for booting Lila off. However majority of Gotham academy has noticed their attitude towards Gotham's Goddess and everyone makes sure Marinette is unreachable.

They pretty much only see glimpses of her until Senior's Last Peprally when she and Damian are announced Prom King and Queen. Their boos are covered up by the school's cheers. Marinette and Damian share a quick kiss which causes more cheers as the teachers roll their eyes calling out Pda. Then both her and Jon announce whats going to be happening at the peprally.

At the end of it all the seniors get together for one last class photo in the front is Jon Marinette and Damian. Damian and Marinette are wearing the sashes and crowns and Marinette is in the middle of them. Bustier's class is upset they cant be a part of the picture because they arent actually seniors at the school. The next night is Senior awards the class doesnt go but the trio does.

Marinette and Damian get best couple.

Damian gets the award for best grades.

Jon gets the award for most likely to secede in life.

That night all three are on the news and trending on Twitter when they go out to celebrate at Bat Burger, videos and pictures are posted off Marinette and Jon dying of laughter as Damian cuts his burger with a knife and fork. At the hotel Lila is crying claiming that Damian is cheating in her with Marinette. The class continuously message Marinette even when they get a response saying that the person is not Marinette amd that they've had the number for two months.

The next day at lunch they confront Marinette, they followed Jon to the room the Student council eat lunch in. Que them berating Marinette infront of everyone including the teachers. Marinette just rolls her eyes not wanting to give them the time of day.

Alya-I cant believe you tricked Lila's boyfriend into dating a bully like you!

This causes Jon to launch to her defense, he steps in front of Marinette glaring at the class.

Jon-Lila's boyfriend?? You mean Damian, so Lila was dating Damian first?

Lila-Yes! And Marinette purposely seduced him!

Jon-Really tell me when did you firat meet Damian?

Lila-oh he was so sweet! It was when we were 6 and we met at a gala here in Gotham! A older women was being incredibly mean to me and he stood up for me telling me that he'd have his dad kick her out. We were always meeting up over the summer and started dating at the beginning of senior year!

Jon-Oh so you know Arabic?

Lila-What?

Jon smirking-Well Damian didnt learn English until he was 8, his first language is English. Also you couldn't possibly have met Damian here when he was 6 because Damian didn't come to Gotham until he was 10. When his dad was informed that he had a son. On top of that Damian spends every summer with his family and closest friends. Actually he usually spends a few weeks on my family's farm, this summer he didnt because he went to Paris with Marinette. Also at the beginning of senior year? St. Cloud, when did Damian ask Marinette out.

St. Cloud- Beginning of the summer at Mr. Wayne's first charity gala of the summer, he asked her while they were dancing. It was really cute and Marinette looked amazing in her MDC dress!

Mari-Thank you St. Cloud, I could give you her number if you'd like a dress

Lila runs away embarrassed the class starring at Jon and Marinette in shock.

Alya-who-who do you think you are?!

Mari-Alya do you really not recognize your idols son?

Marinette is disappointed as she introduces them to Jon Kent, after that the teacher finally forces the French class out, while also telling them how kuch trouble they'll be in.

The class starts trying to get on Marinette's good side for the rest of the year but she ignores them. Prom comes and goes and when its finally time for graduation Damian is valedictorian. He gives a fairly inspirational speech and at the end he smirks finishing it with.

Dami-And lastly I would like to thank my eldest brother, without him Id never be able to give this sappy inspirational speech, he is really good at them.

When they throw their caps in the air Damian finds Marinette and dips her pulling her into a deep kiss.

That night while they are all celebrating at the Wayne Mansion Marinette finally lets go of Paris, she decides that her place is in Gotham with Damian.

Lets do a time skip!

Marinette is the top name in Fashion, Damian is Co-Ceo of Wayne enterprises with Tim. They are both married and living in Marinette's penthouse together with Margaery, I am to emotionally invested to kill off her or Alfred even if it is do to age. They visit the mansion almost every day, and family dinners are common.

Jon started going out with St. Cloud and are engaged, he has also taken up the mantle of Superman.

Damian has taken up the mantle of Batman with his Robin, Johnn'i Thomas Grayson-Wayne, Richard and Koriand'r's second child that did not inherit his mothers powers, and his partner Ladybird. That is until Marinette discovers she is pregnant. She surprises the family while they are getting their family portrait redone, with only Kori and the photographer knowing.

All the girls are in chairs with the boys behind them. Seating goes.

Babs, Kate, Selina, Marinette, Kori, Stephanie, and Cass. For a few of the pictures Marinette holds up a sign saying, "Another Wayne is on the way!" Then they hide the sign so they have a regular family portrait.

A few days later when the entire family is gathered to see the photos they are surprised when Bruce stars at them in shock. Alfred and Margaery merly smile offering congratulations, everyone is confused until Bruce turns the picture around.

Damian is looking at the pictures in shock until he jumps up and picks up Marinette spinning her around. Soon everyone is screaming and cheering offering congratulations. While Damian and Marinette hold each other close crying softly.

Mari-Your gonna be a Daddy Dove.

Damian-I love you so much Marinette. So much.