#discussing health issues

[fjordfolk]

Today's tepid take is that there is absolutely no - none, zero - good reason for any of the british terrier breeds to not outcross to each other

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

[dropthedemiurge]

I've seen things after SOTUS extreme actor harassment, I've been here through BMF "hate watching flashmob" and you know what, this year I will actually stop tolerating BL fans (at least on tumblr) who don't even have the decency to just ignore things they don't like and who think bullying someone is a good fandom sport, and start calling out. No matter if you believe clickbaits or you're a proud member of celebrity witchhunt or just don't believe people and situations can change, whatever, I really don't want to see KristSingto hate if - when - they will come back with another BL series.

Peraya fans have been waiting and hoping for KristSingto reunion for years, they wanted it themselves for so long as well, and we've unfortunately encountered way too many people who don't use their braincells and who encourage others to follow their footsteps when making derogatory comments about (mainly) Krist or Singto who they don't even know about, or their shows. For years. Some even go to talk shit and laugh right at his face. What the hell.

Maybe don't ruin someone else's parade and don't turn a nice community lake into a swamp. If you consider yourself a good person who can have an opinion "I just don't vibe with this person/show", watch it unbiased, be open minded and if you don't have a full picture, ask fans of the actual story or do research and read proper compilations about him instead of blindly stacking your opinions on repeated echoed insults from yt and tiktok. And if you aren't willing to be open minded and rational, well, let the fans celebrate and stick quietly to your swamp.

It's really no fun to gather around to discuss something and slip on poop piles thrown around for no reason. What happened to civil discussions?

[radlymona]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen one account so dedicated to making the most disingenuous statements as this one:

Her whole platform is clearly built off retweeting every slightly gender critical thought and putting the most absurd spin of the original tweet. Having any marketing that shows disembodied “female” (read: barbie doll) legs is disturbing and misogynistic. Saying 1 in 3 people get cervix cancer is blatantly false. Even her twisted statement is untrue. Plenty of women (especially those whose first language differs from the one spoken in their country) are woefully uneducated about cervix cancer. Women being told they should get screened for a disease because it is female-specific doesn’t make them dumb. This women has thrown women and their issues under the boss for the sake of a steady ~4K Twitter engagement. And for what? What does her “activism” actually achieve? Why bother going after an account like the above one that has like 50 followers and 500 likes on the original post just because you’re so obsessed with owning the terves

[apricotbuncakes]

Before we start, here is my GoFundMe to help me afford Top Surgery. I have several posts on the subject on my blog but if need be you can ask questions in my ask box.

CW: Discussion of Suicidality. No explicit actions thoughts or ideas depicting the act of suicide are written, but suicidality is discussed.

It's very difficult to explain that "I can't afford my gender affirming care" = passive suicidality.

Cuz like, I'm not gonna do anything. I've learned to not make plans at this point. (<- A joke you may laugh at). But seriously, how do I tell people "I am suicidal because I cannot get top surgery" and then ask them to donate to my GoFundMe?

I don't want to be manipulative, or even potentially be accused of it. I don't want people to pity me or say "things will get better". I know they will. I know that it's just a matter of time. I know I'm not alone. I'm not clueless. At the same time, posting the same "here's my GoFundMe so you can help me reach my goal!!! 😁😁🫰❤️❤️❤️" when my reality and thoughts are much darker is killing me. I feel fake. I feel dishonest. It's not just a casual thing to ask for money, especially $10,000 but it's what I need.

That's the key word. Need.

Top Surgery isn't something I decided on a whim. It's not something I can live without. My dysphoria is so bad. I need top surgery more than I can possibly explain. Even in this post I'm making sure to keep several things to myself because even this admission is very difficult for me. But it's safer to scream into the Tumblr void and hope my echos bounce to people who can help me than to just keep everything bottled up.

Because I cannot afford to tell my therapist and risk getting out in a hospital. Literally cannot afford it. I need to put whatever is left of each paycheck towards top surgery in order to inch closer to my top surgery goal. Sitting in a hospital won't help me in this case.

So once again here's my GoFundMe in case you can spare something.

[the-adventures-of-dave]

A friend of a friend is looking to purchase a French bulldog from a breeder and is unsure how to start. Cats are more my wheelhouse, so I was wondering if any of my dog-owner followers have any resources on how to find a good dog breeder?

[coffeexxcigarettes]

Almond Milk

-

Sometimes I don't know what's actually me.

I'm sure that's confusing,

So hear me out, if you have the time.

I believe we are made of wires

And memories.

Pathways to which we learn lessons.

For example,

If you speak too loudly and are shushed,

The wire bends within you.

You learn to speak softer.

I'm not sure, I suppose,

If I really like almond milk,

Or if you taught me that there were good foods

And that there were bad.

I'm not sure if blending almonds with water really does taste better,

Or if the wire within me tangled into a ball

To fill my stomach instead.

I trusted you to teach me young,

Yet I have memories of us,

Counting every damn almond in the house.

Strange how I have no memories of us

Actually eating one.

x

..

..

..@nosebleedclub April 17th- Almond Milk

[sbd-laytall]

[cerise-on-top]

Ghost with a Schizophrenic!S/O

I've been going through it again as of late, so I decided it's time to write something that would help me cope. Not requested, because who would request something like this in the first place? I'm very nervous about posting this, but I thought maybe someone else would like to see something like it, maybe someone else can like it as well. That's the reason why I started to write in the first place, so the things I want to see are somewhere out there as well. Anyway, what it says in the title. These are based on how I would like someone to treat me, so this is not at all a guide on how to treat someone with the condition. I wrote the same thing for Soap, except his is twice as long. I'm gonna post it afterwards.

As soon as you come home from your appointment, either completely dejected or empty looking, he’ll know something was up. Whether you outright tell him or not is up to you, but he will ask you what happened, he’s just that worried about you. Your diagnosis must be pretty bad if you, usually so cheerful and always trying your best, are pretty down in the dumps about it. He’ll gently try to coax it out of you if you won’t tell him immediately, he just really wants to know what he can do to help you. While he won’t force it out of you, if he sees you’re feeling especially blue about it then he will try to ask you about it. Making you budge in a gentle way is his goal, he just really wants to be there for you whenever he can.

In all honesty, Ghost is probably the last person to judge you for something like that. When it comes to you he’s understanding and patient, just communicate with him what you need. You really don’t need to be ashamed of your being schizophrenic in front of him, or at all, you can just tell him.

When you do tell him, he’ll be quiet for a moment, processing the information and what he should do with it. Granted, he doesn’t exactly know what it all encompasses, thinking it’s just hallucinations of varying degrees, but the second he has some time to spare he will read up on it and what kinds of symptoms there are, what it’s like for someone who has the illness and, most importantly, how he can help you. While he may not always trust what his sources have to say, he will openly communicate with you about what he read and ask you if it sounds like it might be of help to you. Generally speaking, he wants to understand this as well as possible since being schizophrenic can be quite the hurdle.

You have a problem with obsessive thoughts? He can’t take them away from you, he knows that much, but he can try to help you with them. You wanna hurt yourself? It’s alright as long as you don’t act on it. While he will grow concerned with you and maybe put the knives somewhere you can’t easily reach them at first, he trusts you to not act on your autoagressions. If it gets so bad you’re nauseous, shaking or twitching, then he’ll gently put your hands in his and tell a few jokes to get your mind off of things, to get a conversation with you going so you can be distracted from it all. It might not always work, but if it helps even somewhat then you can be sure he’ll try again, try harder next time.

Your mind is foggy and you’re confused, incapable of thinking well, or at all? He won’t judge you and try to make the conversation easier for you to follow. He definitely won’t belittle you and act as if you’re stupid for having a hard time. He tries to repeat things he said during a sentence so you can remember better what the conversation was about in the first place. And if you can’t speak at the moment in the first place? Not a problem either! The two of you can just spend your time together in silence, watching a movie or a series, maybe reading a book together while drinking some tea. If it’s easier on you, then he’ll help. By the time you’re together, Ghost probably knows you well enough to be able to respond for you from time to time, if you’re comfortable with that.

Thoughts or delusions of persecution? He knows it’s probably even harder for you in that regard since he works for the military and thus you might become a victim of the government or other organizations at any point in time, but he’ll go to great lengths to show you that he’s not affiliated with the government in that way. While he’s also well aware that you likely won’t believe him either until your episode is over, he’ll repeat it as many times as you need to hear it. Problems with thinking everyone can hear your thoughts? Oh, he’ll play a guessing game with you. Whatever it is you’re thinking, he’ll try his darndest to guess it wrong just to help assure you that he cannot, in fact, read your thoughts, regardless of what vicinity you’re in. He does try to make his wrong guesses a bit humorous as well. After all, it definitely wouldn’t hurt to see you smile again.

If you’re isolating yourself, he’ll tolerate it to some degree. While he knows that that’s just something a lot of schizophrenics do, he does want to spend time with you and make sure you’re doing well. If you’re prone to loneliness despite isolating yourself from time to time, then he’ll slowly introduce you to the people he trusts the most, namely Soap, Gaz and Price. They won’t know about your condition, but he’s hoping that you can befriend them somehow and have a good time with them as well. Soap especially is a social butterfly and it’s not that hard to get along with him. If you’re scared of any of them, he’ll try to desensitize you towards them with silly stories and making time for hangouts every once in a while, but he won’t force you to see them. Being scared of people is hard, but he just wants to help you be less lonely and maybe find some friends as well.

[iamf0rtis]

alright this one might get me in some online fights here on tumblr but i feel like *someones* gotta bring it up

aborting a fetus with a genetic or mental disorder because you cannot take care of them is not eugenics.

bringing a fetus into the world when you can not care for their disorders is cruel.

if you can not care for a kid, you shouldn't have it. yes, that includes kids with autism, kids with down syndrome, kids with cystic fibrosis, etc. its not eugenics, its wanting the best for yourself and any kid you bring into the world.

its not bad to abort a fetus you can not care for. its bad when you know you cant take care of that child but have it anyway.

genetic testing doesnt necessarily promote eugenics, it allows parents to make educated choices about their family and the children they are bringing into the world. frankly, i think it makes the lives of disabled people better.

if you could make sure your child doesnt suffer from a chronic disability, wouldnt you do it? i dont think thats a bad thing.

[dearreader]

if i see one more person quote the 2019 article where taylor says she doesn’t go to therapy as her fairly recently saying it ill scream cause it was five years ago and also before the pandemic where everyone started getting therapists

[orchidvioletindigo]

How to not feel terrified and guilty every time I have more than one sweet per day.

I'm fighting a battle here where on the one side it's compulsive overeating and hereditary diabetes and on the other side it's potentially deadly restrictive eating. I feel like no one has an answer for me. Doctors either tell me that I'm prediabetic and sugar is gonna kill me if I don't stop eating it in anything but fruit or that I'm skinny so I don't have to worry about getting diabetes at all. The research on any of this is so horrifically mired in fatphobia and diet industry bullshit that I can't tell what the actual facts are and what I should be concerning myself with.

I err on the side of overeating because I figure that's less likely to lead me to an early grave, but I'm scared of becoming dependent on expensive medication and blood sugar monitors that are controlled by the whims of the for-profit medical and health insurance industries.

I wish I could just eat when I'm hungry and enjoy the food and be done with it.

[gejezbiedronki]

anti-psychiatry is not a hill i would die on, because i believe that while autonomy Always comes first the current "standard" treatments may be the best option for many people. but it is very disheartening to realise that yes, community support is another option, but like. we all might as well have half of the dsm printed on the inside of our eyelids. it takes an enormous amount of work to unpack the psychiatric paradigm. so how do you get community support if your community believes the first thing to do in a crisis is to take someone's autonomy away? even if they mean well, that's just what they've been taught. how do you reach out to people if you already have psychiatric trauma? asking a friend for help feels like institutionalisation with extra steps. anyway i don't know where i'm going with this. read foucault maybe

[anarcho-mom-unist]

Could you imagine if a conversation about public health could happen in like any context without the specter of The Fatties being brought up as a clearer and more present danger than whatever is the actual topic at hand.

[justanotherkathrynjanewayblog]

hey google, why do i feel uncomfortable when people compliment me???

[coffeexxcigarettes]

Recovery

-

I will never be the girl

That turns heads

With her body.

I will never start wars with my curves,

Or set hearts aflame with my smile.

This is not for lack of trying.

Starving.

Crawling.

Bending.

Breaking.

But I will never be that girl.

And some nights,

That's harder to cope with

Than others.