#don't get me wrong I'm happy that I have enough motivation to do actual work

[thatwolficorn]

Watched Murder Drones ep2 again for the third time and I just realised

V licks the bubbles??? Ngl I'm 99% sure I did that as a kid and had a similar reaction lol

I just think it's funny, I love the chaos

[asmosmainhoe]

Hiii! I hope you're doing well 🫶💍

Can I please ask your headcannons about how would lucifer, mammon, satan, beel, diavolo and barbatos react if MC offers to put chapstick on their lips?

I know it's a strange ask, but imagine this scenario: It's gotten really cold suddenly (in? On? At?) the devildom and MC notices said character has chapped lips and seems very uncomfortable with it. She offers them her (can be gn!reader but I'm using she/her for better explaining) chapstick and they deny, but she insistist in putting on them, and they feel giddy because she's caring so softly for them 😭😭😭

I'm feeling the vibe of soft casual love today. It's okay if you don't answer, but I'd be really happy if you did! Lots of love, stay warm 🩷🩷🩷

MC offers their chapstick

Note: Huh my motivation is partly back

Gender: neutral

Warnings: none

Masterlist

Lucifer

He says that he doesn't need it of course even though he really does and you offering your chapstick makes him notice his dry lips even more

You already left him so he could continue to work in peace, but your words simply don't let him go

His tongue keeps darting out to lick over his lips which makes it only worse and the feeling bothers him more with every second

Only half an hour passes until he looks for you around the house to ask if the offer still stands

Mammon

WHAT?! YOUR CHAPSTICK?! BUT IT WAS ON YOUR LIPS FIRST! SO IT WOULD BE LIKE A KISS MQJSBAJAN

He immediately short circuits and isn't responding for a couple seconds

"If you're really insistin'."

Mammon snatches the chapstick away from you and puts on a thick layer

"I actually thought that I could put it on you, but that works too I guess."

He's devastated

You better be prepared to share it some more in the future, because he will ask for it on a regular basis and don't even think about buying him one. He wants yours

Satan

A light blush is forming on his cheeks and ears upon your offer, but he'd be a fool to decline it. It's the closest he can get to a kiss for now after all especially when you get so close to his face to put it on

He takes an extra moment to rub his lips properly together and is surprised by the pleasant taste. Would a kiss taste like this as well? The thought alone makes him become even more red

"Should I buy you one too?"

"No, but thank you. I don't need it that often."

Wrong! He just wants an excuse to use yours

Beelzebub

Of course he's not one to say no to that! It's so kind of your to offer it in the first place. Not many people are paying as much attention to him as you do

Much to your surprise though Beel leans forward with his eyes closed which makes you think for a second that he's actually about to kiss you

Beel shoots a small smile in your direction as he thanks you. Ugh, so handsome...

You make sure to offer him your chapstick more often in the future

Diavolo

"Oh, I didn't even notice that my lips are so dry!"

"So can I put it on then?"

"Absolutely!"

Much like Beel he has to bend over a little bit so you could reach him better

Being this close to him really makes you realize just how attractive he is. As if having the prince of hell only inches away from your face isn't intimidating enough

But he seems to genuinely enjoy it

Barbatos

No idea how this man manages to take such good care of his appearance while handling so many tasks

So it's kind of a big thing when you notice that his lips are super dry AND HE EVEN APOLOGIZES FOR "BEING SUCH A MESS" LIKE BABE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL

"Thank you so much for pointing it out. Could you maybe be so kind and put it on for me? I'm afraid my hands are full at the moment."

ANYTHING FOR YOU, LOVE

It's a short moment, but somehow incredibly intimate

[ryker-writes]

to say that I'm obsessed with your broken siblings series is an understatement

i LOVE them it's just so comforting for some reason and i had an idea about one with epel, but then you posted the Leona one and i just need the no forgiveness ending

the pain my heart needs

but i'll still tell you my epel idea obviously

so imagine growing up with epel as your brother, always admiring him for his hard work and outgoing personality and that even tho he looks cute he can still beat ass

but then you get to nrc and he changes, and doesn't spend as much as with you as you guys used to, imagine vil separating you bcz you're not a good example for epel (+bonus points if reader is part of savannaclaw and epel gets bitter bcz they were always the fragile sibling and yet he was the one in pomefiore)

i don't imagine this relationship as angsty as the others, i can imagine epel getting over his jealousy pretty fast if it meant hanging out with them rather than listening to vil

it's actually really hard for me to imagine epel being a bad brother to his siblings, i think he just wouldn't realize they're hurting bcz he's too busy with his own problems

finally had some motivation so here we are! I completely agree with you that Epel's probably isn't as angsty because Epel actually would be a good sibling lol, but for the sake of angst, I deliver

Request Rules and Masterlists

Broken Sibling relationships

Epel as a sibling (Broken relationship)

You and Epel used to be very close!

When you were younger, the two of you used to play together a lot

Being some of the only kids around the same age in Harveston, you two spent a lot of time together

But you two were very different...

Epel had always been stronger than you were. He would show you how to do a lot of work on the farm, and he never let anybody just walk over him

You admired him!

In a way, you looked up to him and wanted to be like him. While he was stubborn and fierce, you were more calm, and weaker than him

But that never stopped you two from being close and spending all your time together!

That was...until you went to Night Raven College

You both had been very exited to go to NRC

In fact, you two were practically attached to each other before the entrance ceremony

The magic mirror called his name, and told him "Pomefiore"

it was unexpected, but you were happy for him! He certainly was cute enough get into Pomefiore, and he had the spirit of tenacity. There was a part of you that was optimistic about getting into Pomefiore with him

But then the mirror called your name, and said "Savannaclaw"

You felt your stomach drop at the word. Savanaclaw was known to be a very athletic dorm and filled with stubborn and tough people, so why were you put there?? It seemed like a dorm much better fit for Epel, not you

Had the magic mirror somehow gotten the two of you confused? Shouldn't it have put Epel in Savannaclaw? But the magic mirror doesn't make mistakes with this kind of thing

Savannaclaw was very overwhelming for you. Without your brother by your side, it was very tense. Everyone there was much different from you, and it was hard to feel like you belonged there with all of them

At least you could still spend time with your brother outside of dorms, right?

Wrong.

Anytime you went to Pomefiore, you were turned away by some Pomefiore student

"You're too much of a distraction."

"We don't need any Savannaclaw brutes here."

"You'll taint his beauty."

"Epel has more important things to worry about."

"Can't you just take a hint? We don't want you here."

Each and every time, you were told you weren't wanted there, and that you shouldn't be around Epel

While originally you kept trying, it got pretty disheartening after a bit to hear repeatedly that your brother didn't need you there or that you weren't welcome near him

When you kept trying, you were eventually met with the housewarden himself, Vil Schoenheit

"You clearly can't take a hint, can you? You are not welcome in Pomefiore. You would be nothing but a bad influence on Epel, and I will not stand for Pomefiore's reputation to be tarnished by you."

His tone left no room for arguments, and he left immediately after

It really started to feel like Epel himself didn't want you there at this point, and it hurt you

Eventually, you stopped trying. They made it clear you had no place in Pomefiore, and you would forever be part of Savannaclaw

It felt hopeless

You had once been so close to your brother, but now, you can't even talk to him

It's as if the two of you were in entirely different worlds now

[pinkanonwrites]

Hello there fellow human! Could I interest you in some headcanons of the dorm leaders + Jamil receiving headpats from a cute short female S/O?

I only do 7 characters per post for Twisted Wonderland, so for this post I'm going to leave off Jamil and just do the dorm leaders for this post. If you'd like to request Jamil again when the ask box opens back up, I'd be happy to write it!

Fem! Reader

It takes a few seconds for Riddle to process what exactly you're doing, but once he does? He prickles up just like those hedgehogs he's so fond of, face flushing red all the way up to the tips of his ears as he tries and fails to stammer out... Something. Anything. A scolding, perhaps? A demand of an explanation? Anything to hide just how thoroughly you've flustered him.

Part of him considers the act incredibly demeaning. Something you would do to placate a small child, you're instead using on him? Do you even take him seriously? But he can't find it in his heart to demand you to stop, because the rest of him (the "never got positive reinforcement from a parental figure" part of him) actually adores the feeling of being coddled and praised by you, as hard as it is for him to admit.

It's a very subtle change, but you may start to notice him going out of his way to show you his accomplishments more often. Whether that's a perfect assignment grade or an Unbirthday party going off without a single hitch, he'll subconsciously start to seek out your praise and approval more often.

The first time you do it Leona is lying his head in your lap, just about to doze off when he feels your fingers massaging his scalp. He's not even certain if it's real or a dream at first, the gentle touch of your fingers against his ears, the soft, mindless melody you hum to him to lull him to slumber. Whatever it is you're doing, it works, because Leona sleeps like an absolute boulder with his head resting on your lap.

Normally Leona would have no qualms in making demands of you, especially if they help him to sleep. This though... This almost feels a bit too vulnerable, too intimate for him to demand of you. He'll make a point to rest his head in your lap more often, but he's not brave enough to actually ask you to pet him.

If you bring it up first though, he's certainly not going to tell you to stop. Actually, that's the absolute last thing he wants.

"This doesn't bother you? When I play with your ears? I can stop if you want." "...Nah. Keep doin' it. Don't worry bout me, you'll know if you do something I don't like anyway."

Azul is in the middle of going over his plans for the next Lounge event with you when you reach over and pat him square on the top of the head, and he immediately malfunctions. He stops in the middle of a word, droning out a single syllable as you watch his face get redder in real time until he processes what just happened and frantically excuses himself.

You've completely destroyed his train of thought. How is he even supposed to face you now? Were you merely teasing him, or was your affection genuine? Even though the two of you are dating Azul still has some trouble discerning between the two. He doesn't sleep well that night, mind racing with thoughts and questions and "what if's".

When you apologize the next morning for making him uncomfortable he's quick to brush it off, to assure you that you've done nothing wrong. To be honest, he did quite enjoy it, even if he wasn't mentally prepared. You're welcome to give him headpats from time to time, so long as no one else is around at least. He does have a reputation to uphold, after all.

One of only two boys on this list who is willing to openly ask for headpats from you! The first time you patted Kalim on the head he thought he was going to ascend to heaven, you were just too cute! He let out an audible whine as soon as you pulled away, and quickly made it his mission to earn as many headpats as possible from you.

Jamil is torn on the prospect. Because on one hand, your headpats motivate Kalim to get his homework done quickly and on time for a change. On the other, he definitely cooks up a lot more troublesome schemes with the final end goal being nothing more than a pat on the head from you as a reward. You've got to drill it into his head that he doesn't need to throw you a party just to get a pat, that you'll gladly do it anytime.

He gets the biggest, dopiest smile whenever you pat him, leaning into your hand like a content cat. Everything else just seems to melt away when you play with Kalim's hair. He'll sllump into your shoulder with a big, cozy sigh and let himself float away at your gentle touch alone.

To be completely honest, Vil's first instinct when you reached up to touch his head was to slap your hand away. Even if you were his girlfriend, he did just finish styling his hair and couldn't have it looking unpresentable. Luckily you were able to give him a soft little pat before instinct kicked in, and for once Vil found himself wordless at the unexpectedly heart-squeezing gesture.

Vil doesn't actively seek out your pats, nor does he request them outright. No, that would be terribly embarrassing, far too vulnerable for someone such as himself. But he isn't above asking you to massage his temples for him when he's feeling stressed. He enjoys being away from the public eye for a moment, letting his head rest in your lap as your carefully cradle him in your hands.

Vil doesn't make an active effort to mimic your affections, but the gesture seems to rub off on him. You're in a much easier position to receive headpats than give them given how short you are, and you always give him the most delighted, moony-eyed gaze in response. You're a very fortunate little potato, you know? He would never give out his headpats to just anyone, after all.

Idia is so jumpy that it's hard to even reach for something near him without him flinching away in response. Your best bet at giving him some headpats is when he's in the middle of a game, especially a rhythm one. He won't even realized you've braided his flaming locks for him until he's finished the song he's on, and once he does you'll get to see that entire braid go a delightful shade of pink.

He'll stammer and stutter, doing his best to playfully admonish you for doing something so cheesy. "Wh-What is this, anyway? Some sort of otome event CG? So cringe!" But please don't take him seriously, because if you ever stopped Idia thinks he might just die. The bravado and teasing is just a defense mechanism, he doesn't actually want the headpats to stop.

Hes definitely at his most vulnerable when he's gaming, but it's pretty easy to give him headpats when he's tired too! He's the king of caffeine and staying up way too late on projects, but a few fingers carding carefully through his flaming hair is a great way to get his mind off of his programming and heading straight towards dreamland. He'd never be brave enough to admit it himself, but he loves to fall asleep to the feeling of you playing with his hair.

Malleus is the only other boy on this list who is willing to openly ask for headpats from you once you start giving them to him. And can you blame him? Most people aren't even willing to get too close to him, but here you come along with your praises and your soft laughter and your gentle hands brushing his silky hair. He can't get enough.

He'll go out of his way to plan you little surprises and bring you little gifts with nothing more than a headpat in mind as a reward. He's almost like a crow, the way he spoils you with shiny little trinkets. You'll notice that after you thank him for something he'll being to subtly lean down slightly, just enough to put the top of his head within your reach. He'll pout until you give him his reward.

You are the only person allowed to touch Malleus's horns in the way that you do. He'll tolerate maids or staff doing his hair or adorning his horns with jewelry for an event. But you're the only one who gets to run your fingers up and down the ridged onyx surfaces, mapping the bumps and grooves and digits with careful fingers. A dragon's horns are their pride and joy after all, so it makes sense that he should only allow his mate to touch them in such a manner.

[comicaurora]

I watched Castlevania: Nocturne the otger day and liked it a lot less than you seemed to, so I want to hear a more detailed opinion if you have one. Am I in the wrong to think it was more shounen and less "deep" in some way?

I'd say it's definitely more shounen. Introducing the "Richter can't do magic because unresolved trauma" thing right from the jump meant a Believing In Yourself powerup was pretty much inevitable, but I liked the execution of that scene enough that I didn't mind much.

It doesn't quite have the backbone of the original Castlevania, which was grounded so strongly in Dracula's apocalyptic grief - a motivation the audience is directed to find deeply understandable from minute one - that it gave the characters a solid thematic core to play off of. This let the writing stay pretty tight by letting Trevor serve as a foiling mirror for Dracula in their mutual disgust with the failures of human kindness, Sypha for Lisa in their altruistic use of their knowledge and their vilification for "witchcraft", and Alucard in the middle torn between worlds.

Nocturne is more loose and character-driven, but it still has a core theme - the argument over "the natural order" and how that plays into a fear of change from those currently on top. However, Richter doesn't really have a horse in that race, since his motivation starts and ends at Kill Vampires while everyone around him is more complex, trying to overthrow the aristocracy and free the enslaved and such. I think this makes Richter feel a little less important than Trevor was, narratively, because he sort of stands apart from the core philosophical debate at play. It took me a few episodes to get what his deal was and start caring about his self-actualization, and I think he's definitely got further to go. Possibly Alucard's presence in season 2 will give him more to play off of.

I think Nocturne has several independently interesting villains instead of one really good villain, which is a complaint I also saw about Castlevania season 4 - I liked Death just fine, but he really didn't work for everyone, and the secondary villains like Saint Germaine were much more interesting and complex. Nocturne does, however, pull off something Castlevania didn't as much, which is most of the characters acting on their own internal consistent motivation without cleanly falling into the "good guy" or "bad guy" box, causing them to slide into and out of conflicts and alliances depending on the circumstances.

I feel like Bathory is kind of a weak core villain with almost no human-level motivations or ideas beyond General Villainy, and the extent of her development being a darkest hour shonen villain powerup/frieza transformation doesn't help much, which is why I'm kind of holding out hope that they just bite the bullet and bring back Dracula. He's the nemesis from the Castlevania games, and while they gave him and Lisa a happy ending in Castlevania season 4, I don't think they need to keep him on the bench forever. It's been 300 years, Lisa is almost certainly long dead again and Dracula doesn't need to be full Mad With Vengeance Burn Down The World to still be a credible problem in need of a little Belmonting.

I had fun with season 1 of Nocturne with the understanding that the first four-episode "season" of Castlevania wasn't representative of the final shape of the story either. Sypha's character, for instance, was very flat before she and the gang went on their season 2 bonding adventure, not much more than some banter and infodumps. I think Nocturne did solid setup of the cast and the theme they'll be unpacking, and it has lots of room to explore these characters in interesting ways once they energy-ball-tennis Bathory out of the way first.

[otogariado]

only halfway thru the new frieren episode i was almost tearing up because the theme of protecting each other and caring about life more importantly than winning is so poignant. not all the characters are human in species but once again the humanity is blossoming in frieren's story. i was so afraid they'd actually get killed last ep but i mean it's so funny now what was i even thinking. this is frieren. they won't kill unless it was really necessary.

the reveal that richter raised the platform not to make his fight with lawline and kanne easier but actually to protect them from denken's attacks was so good. the "magic is nothing if you cannot imagine it" line is so wonderful because i'm a big fan of magic systems that revolve around that logical "science-y" aspect of like. understanding how it will work in order to do it. (same reason why i love the magic in "world's greatest assassin".) laufen getting caught by frieren even though she knows it's a trap just bc she didn't want denken to get hurt was also so good. the reveal that denken didn't have a grander motive to be a first class mage beyond "i wanna go back to my hometown and visit the cementary there but only first class mages are allowed to enter" was so painfully human and so reflective of real life. it also strikes you because he was introduced as a high-profile, politically influential mage.

i love what denken says about not going out without a fight. i love that the episode ends in a fistfight for him. i love it when media uses fistfights and punching in such an emotionally-charged human way, beyond the violence, instead depicting it as some sort of catharsis really. because sometimes all you need is a good rough n tumble. in denken's case, it's his way of not giving up without a fight. i like that. i also like that this was foreshadowed by denken telling laufen to cut the tree down instead of trying to cut the restraint. "we don't have any mana" "neither do they". sometimes all it takes is to find a differently way to approach your problems and sometimes the solution is simpler than you think.

i'm a big fan of frieren breaking the barrier because she thought it was unfair to cut kanna (and by extension lawline) out of her source of magic, giving her an unfair disadvantage and honestly a handicap. it's a short part of the episode but it's so important, because it shows that if people are given the right tools and the accessibility, they can do for themselves what they want and need to do. i love that frieren is like "can you imagine winning against a water manipulating mage with water around? i can't."

i'm a fan of how the "basic" combat and defensive magic are depicted and treated as in this show. yes, people more on from traditions, but traditions are there in the first place. richter's explanation of magic history in their world provides an insight to how modern magic evolved from the foundations. but the foundations were still foundations for a reason. they made it a point with fern saying "frieren doesn't restrict me from spells" (even tho it was the setup for a small joke) that the point isn't to pick a side between tradition vs modern, but rather to learn from both and decide for yourself what you want to apply to yourself. the depiction of fern and frieren winning with traditional magic and richter and kanne overwhelming each other with modern magic makes it clear that the show isn't trying to preach to either side.

i also like the theme of "pursuing magic out for the sake of magic is enough". it's nice to hear that denken shares this mindset with frieren, because again he was introduced as someone influential and you'd think he thinks like he could use magic as a source of power. and that's the impression i got of him too from previous episodes, but a lot of first impressions of mine were proven wrong later and i'm so happy for that bc these characters have so much depth packed into them in so little time.

what else have i missed...

[theambitiouswoman]

Examples of Limiting Beliefs 💭👎🙊✨

Limiting beliefs are thoughts that make us think we can't do certain things. These thoughts can stop us from trying new stuff or achieving our goals. Our words and thoughts have power. They can influence our own feelings, behaviors, and perspectives, as well as those of others. For example, if we believe we're bad at something, like math, we might avoid it. This means we never get better or discover if we could actually enjoy it. These beliefs can come from past experiences, things people have told us, or what society expects. When we believe these negative thoughts, or speak negative words, we might miss out on opportunities, feel stressed, or even make decisions based on fear. These beliefs can also make us feel less confident, lower our motivation, and even stop us from being happy or connecting with others. To get over these beliefs, we need to understand them, question if they're really true, and then think in a more positive way.

“I can't handle failure."

"Others are better than me."

"I'm not worthy of success."

"I can't pursue my dream because it's impractical."

"I should always put others before myself."

"I'm bound to mess things up."

"I can't learn new things."

"I'm too different to fit in."

"Making money is wrong or evil."

"Rich people are greedy or unethical."

"I'll never be wealthy."

"It's not possible to earn money doing what I love."

"I don't deserve to be rich."

"Money doesn't come easily."

"There's never enough money."

"I have to work extremely hard to earn money."

"Wanting more money means I'm materialistic."

"I have to please everyone to be liked."

"I'm not good enough."

"I'll never be successful."

"I'm not smart enough."

"People don't like me."

"I'm bad with money."

"I can't do that; it's too hard."

"I'm too old to start something new."

"It's too late for me."

"I don't deserve happiness."

"I'm not creative."

"I can't change; it's just the way I am."

"I'm always unlucky."

"I don't have enough experience."

"I'll never find love."

"I have to be perfect to be loved."

"I always fail, so why try?"

"It's safer to stay in my comfort zone."

"I can't trust anyone."

"I'm not a leader."

"I should be content with what I have."

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕔𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕪 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ not a request

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ I couldn't hold any event for Valentine's this year because of lack of motivation so I just picked my favorites (or the ones I felt like writing atm) out of all groups and wrote different classic prompts for them! Hope it's also a decent celebration!

And happy being in love with someone, your pet or yourself! Whatever suits you haha

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff, TW: mentions of scars and scratching in An part, amnesia and mentions of coma and hospital in Rui's part

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

✧ soul mates (scars show on both)

You weren't really the ugliest nor did you lack any charm. So you went through lot of relationships, but every single one had something wrong with them... They either only cared about looks and profits from your relationship, couldn't accept you as you were or you just didn't felt like they were the ones you wanted to spend rest of your life with.

Maybe it was nice to have experience in dating, but it was also disappointing with time... how hard can it be to fine your life partner? Do they even exist?

To forget about your worries, you went to your favorite cafe on Vivid Street, Weekend Garage.

"Hey An... some strong coffee please..."

"Woah! That's not like you at all! Are you alright? Don't tell my you had another break up..."

"Yeah, unfortunely I did... I'm starting to doubt there is person right for me... available at least..."

You added last part on purpose, since you always felt a bit warm around An and it wasn't necessarily thanks to the amazing coffee she could make. She was like your comfort space. We're you falling for her? Maybe. Did it felt like she cared more about her singing partner than you? Yes... And you couldn't blame her. She deserves more than anyone to be happy!

"Have you thought of using the soulmate method? It's enough if you scratch your cheek enough to make it a bit red and it'll show."

"Maybe but... I don't want to hurt my soulmate..."

"You too?! Yeah, I'd already check but I don't want to cause problems for them..."

"Well... would you be willing to do it with me? Just small scratch? I'd feel more confident with friend next to me..."

"You know what? Sure! I'll do it on left cheek and you do it on right. Remember not to overdo it, just a little red space!"

You both brought your nails to cheeks, shutting your eyes and gently scratching your cheeks gently. When you opened them, you saw An staring at you with small shock and both of her cheeks slightly red.

"Are you blushing...?"

"No. I'm actually not... But it may be the case too I guess... because if I am then... you're too..."

You looked at your reflection in the glass and did notice both of your cheeks slightly red. It was her! The girl you found too perfect for you for this whole time, being your soulmate!

You both smiled at each other as if you just as a miracle. It was her who finally broke the silence.

"How about I take a break and we can both calmly catch up? Coffee and cake on me!"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @badwhole @qxmmi - come get your star girl!

✧ love from first sight

Ichika was just hanging around in the music shop. She was looking through Miku shelve, looking for the newest album that recently dropped.

Though she couldn't find it even tho she looked through whole shop 6 times if not more! So she decided to approach a worker there with hopes of getting the album she came here for.

"Excuse me... I'm guessing you work here... Do you maybe have... uh..."

You turned around once you heard someone calling for you. It was long blue haired girl. She surely didn't lack any charms but you had to swallow the urge to flirt or ask for her number since you were during your work hours.

She couldn't make up any words, stuttering. You thought she's just shy and wanted to encourage her a bit.

"Yes? What may I help you with? I assure you I can definitely at least try finding your album."

She cleared her throat and tried fixing her composure. Sure, she was a bit shy on daily basis but when she saw you? It's like her words stopped at her lips and instead turned into pink hue on her cheeks.

"I-I wanted to know if you maybe have... Miku... albums... album! A... recent album. Miku album. Heh..."

She scolded herself in her thoughts for ruining her chances. She wanted to just grab that album and leave at this point.

"Ah, I think I know which one you mean! You have a good taste I just admit! Follow me, it should be somewhere in the corner area..."

Girl followed you while avoiding eye contact. Once she saw the album she wanted, she hesitantly grabbed it. She couldn't shake off the thought you also liked Miku... That's of course not uncommon but she was charmed by you from the beginning.

"Thank you. You helped me a lot... I'll... head to pay and... hopefully we can meet again!!"

After these words she rushed away. She couldn't believe how emberassed she was in that moment, she even said things that she normally wouldn't. Now afraid to come back because she might make things even more awkward, but on the other hand, she also wanted to see you again... And you did! You just didn't knew you both fell for each other at the same time and couldn't admit to it because of different obstacles.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @prsk-krow - come get your Miku lover!

✧ enemies to lovers

You and Ena were in the same art class and you were enemies almost everywhere when art came in the way. In classes you were always asking teacher who's drawing is better or which had less flaws. In media you were comparing your followers and likes count just to rub it into other ones face.

Though soon enough your competition changed into... wanting to impress another. You both felt the same but none of you knew about it. Too proud to admit it, you covered your desire to impress another with simply being a bit mean.

"Ha! Would you look at that! Your drawing is so much worse than mine!"

"Oh shut up!! At least I didn't made grass yellow like you did!"

"It's shade of green! Not yellow! It's you making composition mistake 3 times in a row!"

"And you messed up the lightning 4 times in a row!"

"And you have pretty face and I'm not mentioning it somehow!!"

"And you-!! Wait what..."

Both of you stopped in your tracks. Suddenly the childish fight was replaced by silence. She wanted to say something but her thoughts were filled with you complimenting her.

"Um... last photo you posted... it was... pretty..."

"(Last photo I posted...? Do they mean my selfie with night town in background?!)"

Brown haired girl blushed gently as she argued with herself what to tell. You weren't in the public eye so maybe it was alright to say something opposite to insulting for once?

"Well I... found a nice cafe I wanted to go but I didn't wanted to go alone..."

She put a strand of her hair behind her ear as she looked away. Now small blush appearing on your face as well... she've never spoken so softly to you before!

"And... what if we went there together?"

You looked up awkwardly, looking her in the eyes with small hope. It was rather awkward talk of yours since you're usually competing against each other and now you're both trying to ask another on a date without saying it out loud.

"Sure. I guess it's alright since... I can check it right away instead of waiting for others..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @qxmmi @modyuki - come get your cheesecake lover~

✧ forbidden love

Shizuku was an idol and a model, and you were her manager. You had to look as friends because rumors would spread in blink of an eye and you'd loose your job, while she'd have to deal with not only new manager but also all the messages from her fans.

But both of you weren't friends, in fact you were dating for 3 months now and none of you felt even slightly bit like it's not working out!

"Y/N!! What are you doing here standing with head in clouds?"

You felt someone hugging you from behind and could only chuckle as you knew well who it has to be.

"Hey Shizuku. Are you done with your practice now?"

"Mhm! I thought we might visit a cafe nearby?"

"Well... are you sure? We both know we often tend to be affectionate and forget about other people... we can't just show off like that even if we'd want to..."

"Ah right... we could ask for to go cakes from there then and I'll make us drinks!"

"Hehe~ Sounds good to me. We can go to my place then and I can get blankets ready while you make drinks."

"Sounds perfect~!"

She immidietly hugged you tighter and kissed your cheek. It was obvious she was excited to start your little date, but so were you!

You exchanged one last kiss before you left without even letting your pinkies touch. You wanted to seem like just 2 friends on a hangout and ordering some sweets for movie night! Nothing out of the ordinary!

Your relationship wasn't even supposed to exist and it unfortunely was an obvious fact. But you didn't wanted to listen to any of it and made it real either way! You just kept it a secret from everyone outside of MMJ~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @qwnelisa @miya-akane - come get your beautiful model~

✧ amnesia

Rui was an inventor not only for WxS but also for his own benefits. He didn't care much how dangerous the robots in his room are as long as he gets to have a bit of fun while making them and showing them off when they're finished!

Though one day... he let you come a bit too close to one of his robots... and now there he was. Coming to your hospital bed every day with one flower, now forking bouquet on your desk.

Today he came with no other intentions, to see his loved one asleep and tell them about the show he did at Phoenix Wonderland this afternoon.

"Hey love... I know I'm late but I just-"

He stopped in his tracks upon seeing you sitting up and your eyes open, accompanied with curious look. He immidietly ran up to you, taking your hand in his as he started to tear up a bit.

"You're awake! Oh I have so much to tell you... there's so much to catch up and-"

"Who are you?"

After these words his smile was wiped away. Did you forgot him? Doctors had told him you have small amnesia and don't remember few recent years of your live but... do you not remember him at all?

But your voice was gentle... you even brought a hand to wipe his tears away. He saw it as act of your kind personality but you... you found him so pretty you couldn't help yourself but admire him a bit. You had no idea who he was but you just felt so safe with him around...

"You're so pretty..."

He looked up at you, regaining small smark of hope. Your words gave him just the push he needed to realize that even if you forgot him, he'll do his best to make new pretty memories with you.

"And so are you, my dear... Will you let me take you to nice cafe after they let you out? I know for one you really like cookies there..."

You nodded your head, not even knowing why. He just felt so safe and familiar, you wanted to be next to him.

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@bleachtheidiot @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @bl4cktourmaline - come get your crazy inventor!

[lukaherehelp]

Playboyy EP2 - Getting What You Want?

(feels ominous now)

Instead of commenting as the episode progresses, I'm going to go straight to analyzing everything that has caught my attention. Fasten your seatbelts, this is gonna be a long one with no brakes!

SO!

Let's get out of the way the horniness first because it has me distracted. Yes, more shirtless Teena, yes to Aob's melons are out first two minutes buT I NEED TO GO UNHINGED ABOUT THIS MAN FOR A SECOND:

he fuckin pulls in wearing converse, leather pants and jacket, a white tee and while still wearing those fuckin nerd glasses while smoking a cigarrette and y'all want me to skip it?! And then we procced to learn that he was in this sugar daddy/sugar baby with master/slave dynamics with Nant (where idk if there were actual feelings or not) AND Y'ALL WANT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT?!

I'm taking Nant's place! I'm running across the globe to be his barbie doll, all the feminism in me has left, the traditional woman protocol is activated. Sir, how do you want your eggs in the morning? I get Fiat now when he said he would let Leo tie and lock him up, this man has awaken that in me.

... okey, moving on to my actual notes. Let's begin again:

PROM & PORSCHE

two bad bitches in one single frame, they are blood related.

This two are so fuckin sus that at this point I actually think they are yet another red herring (at least Prom). But I'm not talking about their involvement in Nant's disappearence right now, I'm talking information and dynamics:

Prom works in Playboyy, Porche is in charge of Miracle Car Wash.

Prom is the older brother, Porche is the younger one. Yet, Porche is out here ordering around Prom like he is taking care of a child. Either he is truly the baddest bitch on this show or growing up Prom was not the most severe brother against Porche taking in account how family dynamics in Thailand tend to go... Porsche has some balls.

Now, Porche doesn't want Prom to work on Playboyy anymore. He even states that he must hand his resignation due to Nant be back, which makes Prom smile:

Prom is obviously happy about Nant's comeback but also about his job, he ain't bending down to his little brother's wishes.

Is Playboyy also one of their father's business? Would makes sense that you put your eldest in charge.

Porche is coming out to be quite the ambitious boy, managing Playboyy would be a much more profitable and exciting job that a fuckin carwash, but Prom gets more from his job in Playboyy than just being the maître and a possible host.

Porche comments about how meeting up with Nant again can screw them over... Why? Because of their relationship or because of the clips Nant was sending to Captain? Was one of them with Prom? Is Porche looking into protecting the family name?

To continue with Prom for a little: as happy as he seem to the news of Nant being back, he doesn't seem that thrill when meeting Nont.

clever of you to go see him in Nant's white, Nont, but I do think Prom knows his baby better than you do.

Still don't know what the fucking dynamic is apart from what has being obviously stated before but here is when I slowly slide in to talk about

NANT & NONT

First of all, Nont has run out of info and is already slipping, I was fully expecting for him to come clean to First and Zouey during the breakfast:

a bunch of babies

... yet he didn't but found out important info:

the relationship (money wise) Prom and Nant had.

the clips Nant was selling to Captain.

that he's into kinky sex lmao

Seriously now, in what type of trouble was Nant in that all the money (which is not little) Prom was transfering him, combined with what Captain payed him for the clips, wasn't enough? And that's if the money is the problem.

Nont seems to think that Nant is death (so do I) and he could have fallen victim of a rough session gone wrong. Is a possible. It could be accidental.

But if it wasn't, if someone is behind it... Let's go with our only clear suspect right now: Porche.

what is the motive? could be from jealousy or pride. Is not strange for younger siblings to think their older siblings are out of bounds to their friends and Porche is a possesive bitch. If he didn't like Nant to begin with, him fuckin Porche AND getting paid by him would probably send him to the fuckin edge. It could also be a matter of family pride as well. Maybe he knew about the clips, or maybe knew about the relationship by other means and that could tint their father's reputation, therefore also his. Specially if the problem is the clips... that shit would spread like wildefire.

quick to scream at

CAPTAIN

My brother in sin... WHERE THE FUCK ARE THOSE CLIPS GOING AND HOW ARE YOU SO NON CHALANT ABOUT IT? SPECIALLY SINCE YOUR "FRIEND" IS INVOLVED IN THEM?

anygay, he's currently distracted with Puen and Keen and I can tell he's already planning how to get in Keen's pants to join the team...

I don't have much comment (for now) on Teena and Zouey since they seem to be in their own bubble and not involved in the mystery at all, but I'm going to address the elephant in the room:

SOONG & FIRST

My mind tells me two things: "well, this fuckin sucks" and "is a red herring".

We had them going at it with their fuckin shenanigans (never better said) for almost the whole episode. But we keep being reminded about how materialistic Soong seems to be:

First adores this man to the same level Zouey adores Teena, but his eyes are set somewhere else: profit.

Now, we can go to Denial, the river in Egipt, for a while and say that he's being thruthful about how he doesn't want people to think he's with First for the money... But he is. First is a giant bhath sign for him. Even when he goes to leave First home after their little "cosplay" adventure (ominous that they were dress as knock off versions of Ghostface), he just have eyes for the fuckin watch First has eventually given him:

so much so that he gets caught by First's dad

which makes me go into two theories:

either Soong is really dumb and for real has being playing First + he's straigh up a psycho

OR

as many are wishing for, after the massive argument First and his father had, and the knowledge we have that First cannot move out due to his father's controling nature, him and Soong are teamming up to con First's dad... which I also think is a dumb idea, but how cares for now.

or at least that's it for now... I'll probably write more and go in depth as we wait for EP3, but that's my investigation work for now.

Remember, my ask box and my dms are open if anybody wants to scream my way,

Luka out!

[brokenntable]

Cravity as Lovers

writing to procrastinate my upcoming A level exams // none of this is proof read whoops

Serim

Boyfriend! Serim is the type of lover that wants to always be around you. don't get me wrong, he definitely promotes you both having other friends and hobbies, but he's just like a puppy that follows it's owner everywhere. Definitely the type to never miss a day of good morning and night texts! he wants to know if you're happy and how he can be there for you without overstepping boundaries. he's definitely the type to brag about you to his family too.

Allen

Boyfriend Allen! is the type of lover that always wants to help you be your best self. if that means helping you clean your room to help you get out of a depressive episode or stay up until the early hours of the morning studying for a test you're really anxious about, Allen is a giver! he's the type of lover that will wait with you until you're ready, or if you need cheering up will do anything and everything in his power to do so even if it means embarrassing himself a little. he won't mind because its all for you.

Jungmo

Boyfriend! Jungmo is the type of lover that always wants to physically comfort you. you might not even need comfort, he just really loves to cling onto you and check you're okay. holds your hand everywhere. he just likes the feeling of proximity. loves to hug you're waist and burying his head into you when no ones around. you both will be watching a show, every now and then you'll watch as he lifts his head up, reads your face and when he's satisfied you're fine carries on what he was doing. would be the most anxious person if you both were opposites sides of a room with other people in it. he'd just rather be near you.

Woobin

Boyfriend! Woobin loves to spend quality time with you. he's at his happiest to sit in a room with you, write new music (using you as his inspiration hehe) and just knowing you're with him is enough. he likes to know that you're still in arms distance and he can look at you at any time without feeling obliged to fill the silence, although I'm sure secretly sometimes he wants you to bug him when he's 'busy' so he can hear your voice and remind him you still love him. he's the type of lover that will go see you at work during his breaks so he can be motived to work harder so he can treat you more.

Wonjin

Boyfriend! Wonjin is not only your boyfriend but also your best friend. Definitely the type to spam your messages with memes he thought were funny. 'who are you meeting? I thought I was your only friend' turns out it was your mum or something anyway and he was right. one day you both realise you have no photos together so you go on adventure to take the most stupidest photos you can so you can actually prove you're dating to other people. the type of relationship other people are jealous of because you guys always laugh the loudest at each others jokes. the type of relationship where when in a room with others, you both have an entire conversation with your just your eyes.

Minhee

Boyfriend! Minhee is the type of lover to remember every small detail about you. he won't remember your birthday and he definitely won't remember your anniversary but he'll remember your favourite flower or the time you spent an extra few minutes too long looking at a pair of shoes and proceed to buy them for you on your birthday. he's the type to take you away from a party early because he knows you hate loud noises and he's not really bothered either.

Hyeongjun

Boyfriend! Hyeongjun is the type who always matches your energy no matter what. when you're happy he's at his happiest. when you're sad that makes him even more sad. he loves surprising you with new dates or gifts, big or small because he loves to see you happy so much. the type to have Pinterest and saves ideas, or if something will catch his eye he'll take a picture and send it to you. you have your happiest highs and biggest laughs with Hyeongjun but you've also had the most comfort when sad from him too. boyfriend Hyeongjun gives the best hugs (canon!)

Taeyoung

Boyfriend! Taeyoung loves everything you love. you're his person, so whatever hobby you're hyper-obsessed with he will also become obsessed with. if you're really big on a current artist or show, no matter if it's not his cup of tea, he will watch/ listen/ research the thing so you're able to talk to someone about it. you're obsessed with bees? every time he sees something bee related he'll at least take a photo and send it to you 'hey, I saw this bubble bee doorstop in the store today. I don't know if you need a doorstop but I bought it you anyway'.

Seongmin

Boyfriend! Seongmin is the type of lover to share his everything with you. his personal life, his favourite moments. Seongmin would be the type of lover to see you as the other half of him. so that means the things he enjoys, his favourite things. if he's enjoying a show he wants you to also watch that show because he wants you to feel the happiness you felt. he's definitely to type to make small matching bracelets and want to wear matching clothes with him.

I am more than happy to expand on any of these btw! I had so much fun writing them <3

I want boyfriend Minhee and Wonjin ngl

[whysojiminimnida]

WELL I SEE IT'S TIME TO TALK TATTOOS AGAIN

Holy cats, hoes mad:

I just adore Black&White KM, don't you? Honestly, never yells at me no matter how often I steal their pics, they give out freebies at concerts, they're respectful -- if you're gonna make a living off photographing famous people, do it like they do. Honestly. So they're in Qatar doing their whole job and hoes losing their shit all over the internet, apparently, all because a certain JM is darker. STILL.

This is not a brand new development.

Y'ALL HE DID THIS MONTHS AGO WHY ARE WE JUST NOW FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT?

This is at LAST YEAR'S GRAMMYS Y'ALL:

And completely unedited, unretouched, the JM was darker enough then that I did a whole post about it.

I MEAN DAMN have we not gone over this, like, several times? (In case you're new to this house elf situation we have here, yes. YES WE HAVE.) We have talked about Jungkook's tattoos at GREAT LENGTH. Well, I have, as far back as a while ago, most recently along about here but also here and here and here and several other places. There is zero tag organization in this house, I don't know what else to tell you.

Anywho Jungkook's tats do not, as nearly as I can tell, mean this:

Because, like the nice graphic above says that I just edited, THIS IS FAN-MADE BULLSHIT. I dunno who made it but I suspect the addition of the J upset some folk enough to need to make JeiKei's motivation anything OTHER than Jimin. Because, as we know, he started out with his ink like this:

Yes, that is a pic someone ripped off. I don't like using it. But it's what we have, and it's years later, and it's been out there for a long time, don't shoot. But I have expounded more than once on why it makes NO SENSE to GO BACK LATER to add one letter to a near-complete hand piece. It doesn't. And that A is not, never has been, a V. In Korea you can go literally anywhere and see Samsung logos, Shilla hotel logos, and of course Jimin's dad's cafe' all using that stylized A with no crossbar.

And I think it's pretty clear what JK thinks the JM means. It means Jimin. Ji Min. JM. DUH. And just like his "rather be dead than cool / make hay while the sun shines" crossword ON HIS ARM, he has a crossword on his hand. A very obvious crossword. Who he loves is written for all of us to see: ARMY, and JM. And lest I forget about that crown:

It's THE SAME CROWN. Wanna go one better but likely utter fanfiction, you could even go heart-arrow-crown like so: 💜 > 👑... ... and make that story work. It actually makes more sense than one J for four people and four letters for three. But we're not here for that. Occam's Razor tells us that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one, and the simplest explanation is the one that's got bitches tearing their hair out. Because THEY KNOW. They KNOW that JM means Jimin, and they HATE IT. (And so what, to quote JeiKei directly. We're gonna talk about fan hate today, too, just... not in this post).

MEANWHILE JUNGKOOK is always showing us his hand, too, have you noticed? Ever since he got the tattoos, but I think more in the last year. It's gotten really pronounced since the PTD dates.

Jeon Jungkook does what Jeon Jungkook wants, and what he wants is for us to pick up what he's been throwing down since, oh, FOREVER but even more recently. Like, it's NOTICEABLE, the way he gets that tattoo in frame at every opportunity. I'll run out of image space before he runs out of ways to show us his touched-up hand.

Yeah. I think the fanmade bullshit has been exposed for what it is. Some of us have known it all along, but even if you're baby Army and you accidentally got stuck watching a lot of comic sans rainbow font youtube garbage (or got up on the wrong side of stan twt), there's no shame in that. I ain't even mad. I'm just happy you're here. Jeon-Park house elves, how we doin'?

[nuzzle]

How do you feel comfortable going out in lolita? I love the fashion but only wear it at home so far, I hate attention and don't want other people to perceive me let alone make fun of me thinking I either try to look like a 'kid' because of the sweet pastel motifs or if that's a fetish thing :( ((I'm a sweet lolita))

i definitely wasn't comfortable with it until after the first couple of times, you're not alone in feeling apprehensive about it!

i'm the same way as you, i dislike attracting attention/people looking/staring and commenting and such.. but you get used to it after the first few interactions. the reality is there's a preconceived notion a lot of people have about those who wear alternative fashions—that anyone dressed "differently" than the norm is doing so to invite others to talk to them, interact with them, stare, take photos and all even though a lot of us prefer to be left alone. especially with sweet lolita as you mentioned, there will be certain people who are convinced of it being something sexual or related to some sort of age regression.

it helps to be content with knowing you're wearing it with the intention of simply wanting to dress a certain way, and that there's no deeper meaning or motivation behind doing so. you don't owe people explanations and don't have to convince them otherwise, it's completely okay to let people be wrong about you. a good amount of people you'll be seeing on the streets will be unable to understand what lolita is, even if you took the time to explain it, let alone able to comprehend why people would want to dress that way... which is fine really, with time you'll value judgements from strangers less and less.

interactions with strangers will often be a mixed bag. you'll get compliments but you'll also have rude people who overstep boundaries or make snide comments. sometimes people will smile at you or look with interest/curiosity but there will also be people who give you nasty/rude looks. a lot of people will blankly stare or look for a while in general, but it's often best to assume they're simply staring because it's something different/interesting rather than staring to be rude.

it's important to remember you have the choice to remove yourself from situations that make you uncomfortable. i often remind myself that i'll likely never see any of these people again if i find myself feeling especially nervous. i highly recommend having plans ready for days you'd like to go out. it helps to have a coord you're very happy with prepared, a fun activity or place to eat to look forward to, a supportive friend or partner (even if they don't wear lolita) to go out with you. personally i wore something toned down for the first time (neutral colors) and then after felt comfortable enough to wear bolder colors and more OTT looks. you could work up to it/ease into it at your own pace, but throwing myself out there is what worked best for me. the "do it scared" saying resonated a lot with me.

and lastly, some positives:

every now and then you'll inspire someone/give them the confidence to also dress in a way that's more expressive and true to how they'd like to dress rather than conforming to what's considered acceptable.

you'll eventually run into people who know what lolita is and recognize what you're wearing, that's always cool to experience!

you will be doing what you want and what makes you happiest. at the end of the day, you have yourself and you realize how little the people you see in passing actually matter. you're the most important person in your own life, put your happiness before other's opinions, life's too short to not live how you want out of fear of how others will react, etc!

[etoilesombre]

Never have I ever game-- you're known for playing with the source material in ways that don't change canon's outcome, but would you ever do a non-canon Black Sails take? An AU that is entirely different setting from pirates, mod au, fairytale au, space au, cowboy au, etc?

Oh that is a great question. I don't generally do AU, and especially not modern AU, because for me personally it is hard to put them into a high enough stakes environment to explore the elements of the show I'm interested in. HOWEVER. There is one that I started to consider a while ago and have pretty thoroughly fleshed out, and have a serious plan to start once other projects are finished, and that is: Russian Revolution AU! Ok. Stick with me here. [Or don't. I'm going to put this under a cut, it is a lot, and may not make very much sense if you don't already know something about the historical period.]

So, I love the idea of using the Russian revolution as a way to explore some of the same dynamics as the show because it is a period in which there was a lot of righteous idealism, and then it all went very wrong, which naturally brings up questions of ideological commitment vs survival, what are you willing to sacrifice, how do your ideals hold up in the real world, etc. It is also a time when how queerness was treated was very in flux, fitting well with 'we care if its politically convenient to care.'

Basically, we start in the early 1920s right after Lenin dies. Flint is a general, old guard party member, was a commander in the civil war. He is known for doing Really Heinous Flinty Shit during that period. He is sort of revered but also feared, and very ideologically motivated, and so of course he is about to get his ass purged when Stalin starts to consolidate and bring everybody into line.

Silver (10ish years younger) grew up during the upheaval of the 1905, WWI, 1917. He's his survivalist trauma bundle self, and ends up working as a low level NKVD (early Soviet intelligence) guy. He gets sent to keep tabs on/gather evidence against Flint - there is immediately a Frenemies attraction spark there. For Plot Reasons they have to do something together and become Reluctant Allies. I have some of the actual plot worked out but I'm not going to get much into it here, but there is absolutely a parallel conflict in values to the show, and choice that has to be made at the end.

IN THE MEAN TIME interspersed through all of this, in flashbacks: back sometime in the years right after the 1905 revolution, Flint is a promising young military guy who came up from nothing, and has a Hennessey parallel benefactor who sends him to school to be educated. He falls in with Thomas, who is the son of a minor prince, very queer and getting away with it, and is a radical in the Christian anarchist Tolstoy model. Flint gets radicalized through him and his friends, they spend happy years abroad in exile with Thomas writing and Flint being a tactician and doing direct action stuff. They come back in 1917, the civil war starts, Thomas is basically murdered by his family because he sided against them, and he is still set to inherit. SO, that is why Flint goes all Darkness and gets especially nasty during the civil war.

There is a Miranda proxy as well. I believe she disappears and her disappearance is what sets off Plot Events.

It's also set in St. Petersburg, if anybody is wondering. Moscow, with the level I have Flint at, would involve too much interaction with Actual Historical Figures, and while I know a fair amount about this era and am totally committed to research, but still, that gets to be Much.

So, there you have it, Russia AU! My delusional long-term goal is for this to be different enough from canon that it could be published. Thanks for the ask, it's helping me get excited about that project again!

[silkling]

Not to be that person, but you've been quiet and haven't posted anything here or ao3 for some time now, is everything alright?

Hi! Don't worry, you're not being "that person"! I'm sorry to have worried you! I've just been really busy with university! This semester has been especially busy for me! But the good news is that I am working on some updates! "Of Finding Family" is my current project, and I'm struggling with how to make the thing I want to happen actually happen. But! I have the outline of the rest of the story mapped out, it's just figuring out the fiddly bits of how to get from point A to point B, so to speak. After "Of Finding Family", I'm hoping that the inspiration from that will carry me to "Watermarked by Your Ancestry"! I hit a major roadblock with that project just after I last updated and have been struggling since, but my hope is that the success of finishing "Of Finding Family" will give me the boost I need to get over that particular hurdle.

As for Tumblr....yeah. I stopped posting my fics here because they never get much engagement. Now don't get me wrong, I don't write just for the engagement of the audience, but that interaction with readers is what motivates me to actually post, y'know? Sure, I daydream the ideas and write them for fun mostly for myself, but when I post them it's a lot of work to take it from messy daydream brain-vomited onto a page, to the actual finished product. And the interaction and feedback from my audience is what makes me want to put in that extra effort. I get a lot more of that on Ao3 (And I promise, even if I don't respond to most comments out of me just straight up overthinking myself into stress, every single one makes me super happy)

To that effect, I've honestly been considering just. Shifting the focus of my Tumblr. Maybe using it to post general TF thoughts, headcanons, blot bunnies, theories, fic updates....that sort of thing. But idk. Just a thing for me to consider.

Also, more good news I've joined this year's Reverse Mini Bang, and if this year is anything like last year's Big Bang, I'll probably overshoot the minimun word requirement again. So, that's one more big(ish) project you can look forward to! (Even if the posting period is a bit of a ways off)

All in all, I have a handful of projects planned! I will do my best to update "Of Finding Family" soon, but I can't promise anything. At the very least, I'll have a lot more free time as summer hits, so at least there's that.

And finally...I want to say thank you. Real life's been keeping me busy, but I felt like I had to respond to your message. It's honestly super touching to know that people like me and what I do enough to notice that I disappeared for a little. So...thank you. :D

[oonajaeadira]

State of the WIP Address

Nothing like a deadline to get a thing done, amirite? I'm just amazed that I got my Secret Santa fic done a whole 24+ hours ahead of posting time. I truly thought I'd be up all night sweating it. I guess all I needed was the SO to be gone for the evening so I could make it happen.

Think I might start cracking the whip on modern dom!Pero tonight too....

Tasty teasers under the cut.

STATE OF THE WIPS

I have one million projects happening, but these are the pieces I’m actively thinking about and working on at the moment.

SECRET SANTA Where it’s at: It's finished!!! I'mma post it tomorrow with all the other Secret Santas. I really hope my giftee likes it. I really hope anyone likes it. If not, I get it. It is a bit of a downer. Tasty teaser:

He only sat long enough to watch the churchgoers file out of mass, many of them with people they loved, humming, happy, cheeks glowing in that way when one steps into a fresh cold after being an hour or two in the warmth. And once the square was empty again, he stood, gave only a fleeting look to the river, and then walked resolutely down Yaëlle’s street. A little house with a red roof and a candle in the window. He stayed for supper and came back many nights after. And then one night he never left.

TROPE FIC: MODERN DOM!PERO Where it’s at: Playing the wip game this week and answering Leslie's ask about this really zinged me into full gear and I have to admit that I had to tear myself away from it to work on my Secret Santa piece. But. The feedback and comments actually helped a lot and I need to rework a couple of sections before I dive back in, but I think I'm ready to rock on it, so expect this one soon. Tasty teaser:

“Did I…Did I do something wrong?” You don’t know where it comes from, this sudden neediness for him to clarify what just happened. When he turns you notice first the way he looks you over, matter-of-factly. “No, of course not.” And then you notice something else…that he’s physically aroused. He doesn’t move to hide it, nor does he seem to let it otherwise affect him. “This is not the place. I won’t take advantage of you here. Another place and another time. When I can worship you properly.”

TROPE FIC: ALPHA!JAVI Where it’s at: Again, the wip game did wonders on my motivation on this! And knowing that Birdie is out there enthusiastic about it makes me want to get it going again. I'm focused on Pero at the moment, but I'll be back at this one soon enough. I have one little thing I really need to figure out, but other than that, I'm confident in bringing this one around. My favorite scene so far is reader's first heat, and my second favorite is the moment where everything goes terribly wrong. So get ready for more sweetness and angst I guess. Tasty teaser:

You’d sat smiling out of the car window on your way to another weekend at the Gutierrez compound, knowing full well that you’d return with a mark on your throat. You’d need to remind Javi to bite hard, to make it last. He was gentle enough that it might not take at first.

TROPE FIC: SEX POLLEN!OBERYN Where it’s at: I think I stepped away from this one too long. It's okay. The outline is solid. I just have to get Pero and Javi taken care of and then I can start working on this one again. Tasty teaser:

“Ellaria? Thank you. This is very kind.” Slowing in the courtyard and wearing the sunshine like a shimmering cloak, she returns to you once more. “It is you who are the kind one here, Pet.” “Me?” Her nod is slow, suddenly vulnerable. “You called me Lady. There are not many from outside these walls who would do that when they know who I am.” “But…you are very much a Lady.” She smiles, allowing this, turning to go. “And you are a guest. Even so, the Princes would want you taken care of. I am merely at their service. And yours.”

GOOD. THINGS. TAKE. TIME. Where it’s at: The asks are all sorted, and Shell is coming up next.... Tasty Teaser: I don't have anything written yet, but one of the asks I'm answering in the next installment is: "Does Preciosa ever get jealous thinking about Pats' other clients?"

LEAVE OFF YOUR WANDERING: WINTER Where it’s at: I've been daydreaming about it, so that's a good sign. I did slap down some dialog that came to me the other day. Ellie's gonna get mad. No teasers for you. Get ready for some darkness.

[undercoverpena]

Hey there, I truly admire your openness about your anxiety, and I was wondering if you could offer any tips or techniques that have helped you, especially in the context of being active on this platform. Love your work!

tw: anxiety

hi anon! thank you so much, that's really nice of you. i deffo think i could be more open about it, but it's nice that I've been able to be open enough for you to reach out. i'm sorry it took me a day or two to get back to you, i just wanted to make sure i thought up/over things so i was being as helpful as possible! it's important for me to stress that my situation and my anxiety isn't going to be like everyone else's, and how i cope with it isn't like the "go to". but here are some things that help me (i am not claiming that any of these i came up):

creating a rainy day folder: bad days are a thing for everyone, but i know what things put me in a "stormier" frame of mind, and what i'm critical about. so, when things make me smile (comments, nice reblogs, tags, inbox, dms) i screenshot them and pop them in this folder. and when i need an extra boost (or some proof to fire back at my brain that it's wrong) i spend a bit of time in there. as it's me, it's highly organised HA! but, it deffo helps having the folder, and its reminded me, at times, why i love what i do here.

celebrate with cake: i'm a high-functioning person, who has super low self-esteem. for a good portion of my life (an embarrassingly large portion, honestly) good accomplishments were not celebrated. so, now i make a point to celebrate certain things with food (or books, if I'm reading a lot). one thing I've learnt with my anxiety is that it's easy to get into a cycle, and one way of breaking this is to stop and take the time to realise the milestones I've accomplished or how far I've come. just the other day, i took a walk to the shop and grabbed myself a chocolate bar. a year ago, i wouldn't have felt comfortable doing that by myself. and it's important to recognise those achievements when you've had a hard time. i also recommend everyone gets themselves cake when they finish a series (it's the rules, i swear).

learn about yourself: i'm going to be brutally honest and hope this doesn't bite me on the arse, but there are a lot of times i don't really like myself? i don't see the value i offer, i feel like i let people down, etc etc. it used to be worse, and one of the ways that helped me go from every day i didn't like myself to occasionally disliked myself, is by educating myself on me. I've spent a lot of time making myself small to fit in, I've done things others are into so i fit in to the point i wasn't sure who i was. so, when i had a menty-b (the name i call it), i sat with myself and learnt what i liked. music. movies. clothing. passions. hobbies. i have always written, but i wasn't necessarily writing things i loved. so, i changed it. i dated myself (a term lots of people use). i told my husband i was going to spend Friday nights with myself, and i did something i wanted to do. on my own. and in time, that helped with my anxious feelings and my fears about being online. because i spend a lot of time worrying about what people think, but by dating myself i could learn nice things about me - and that way, had things i could tell myself i knew were true: that i'm actually very nice, kind and really funny. it might not making pressing 'post" easier, but i can hold my chin a little higher?

set yourself a goal of happiness: we're all motivated by different things. sometimes, we make a mental goal to ourselves and it becomes blurred and distorted in numbers. but, if your anxiety (like mine) likes to have a thing to measure itself against, choose something that isn't numbers based, but happiness based. did someone tell you this month that your writing/art/gifs made their day? did something you say make them feel better? it's hard, it really is, and i know there will be people reading this and scoffing, but truthfully, one person telling me something i wrote made their day is all a jo really fucking wants. because i'm going to write regardless, it's a choice i make to share it. so, while i gave examples above, that isn't my current goal, but it was a goal i had, and as long as i try to remind myself of that it helps.

which leads me into, try to stay away from the numbers game which i know is hard. but it does nothing for an anxious mind. like, it's a fickle thing. moods change. don't base your worth on a number, you matter far more than it.

accept it's a part of you: this one is more about me, but since you're asking me i thought this is probably allowed. i have a long-term anxiety disorder - which took a long time to get diagnosed - and i have some other little... things that come with that. and for a long time, i felt broken. but, i was reading a self-help book (because your girl loves reading books about brains) and i realised that i have anxiety. it is already part of me. so i need to work with it. anxiety isn\t nice, it's not kind and it's really annoying. but it also makes me empathetic, it makes me care about the work i do (both here and in my day to day life), or makes me compassionate. whether you have it short term or long term, sometimes it's better to accept it's there, acknowledge it, but DON'T FEED IT. have the worries, and then halt them, tell them no. I've found fighting it before I've got the strength doesn't help me. but, waking up, knowing it's there, nodding at it helps keep it in check. this might not make any sense, but, you know.

and finally, the one i'm still working on is: i cannot fix everything and this is fun, so i need to ensure it stays that way for me. which i know isn't really a tip. but it's a good thing to remember. i am one person, it is not on me to check on every single person. it isn't on me to read every single thing. i don't have to engage with things i don't agree with, i don't have to say all my opinions. i can change fandoms. i can not post for a day/week/month. and all i have to do, if i want to, is offer my absolute best. that's it. it's hard. and it's tough to swallow. but sometimes, a jo just needs to be jo.

i am not sure if my rambling has been helpful, but i thought i could list these: plot your fic, find a buddy to talk about things with, surround yourself with good people. but I've said all of these. but the above are things i can do by myself. they are things i can control. and with anxiety, we're all just looking for the things we can manage, and so i based the list in that way. thank you for coming to my jo-talk, i'm going to go hide from being so vulnerable.