#edit: 20 minutes later and I still have a sick feeling in my stomach

[thisisarcanereverie]

When the World Went to Shit (Chapter 1)

Joel Miller x FEM! Reader

A/N: this is a SPOILER WARNING, this contains spoliers from the first episode (and more to come). Also I did NOT bother editing, so if there are a few mistakes my bad.

WARNINGS: Canon level of violence, swears, reader is ready to fight a goddamn child, Joel is sad, talks of grief, PTSD, brief mentions of gore, Eventual Smut, pining (on both ends), grumpy idiots in love, reader is in her late 30's to early to mid 40's.

Summary: 20 years later after the world went to shit you, Joel, and Tess have to take 14 year old Ellie to the Firefly base outside of Boston QZ. What was supposed to be a simple plan turned into something much more complicated.

**************************************************

You were visiting your family and friends in Texas when everything went to shit. One minute you were on your way to a movie with your mom and the next you were driving frantically to Travis County with your mom, and your old friend Tommy (who you hadn’t seen in years) and his brother Joel and Joel’s daughter Sarah. Your car had overturned at some point, your mother and Tommy on one side and you, Joel, and Sarah on the other. You had agreed to meet at the lake, you tried to ignore the fires and screams of people around you and focused on surviving. But the pleas of help and the inhuman clicking etched itself into your brain, you could transport yourself there if you closed your eyes long enough. You could feel the heat from the various fires as you passed them, the metallic stench of blood permeating the air and turning your stomach sour, you could feel the burning in your lungs as you ran from the infected person as it chased you animalistically. You could still feel the hope you had as you looked at the soldier crumble as he fired at you and the sharp stab of grief that almost consumed you as you watched Joel mourn Sarah and as Tommy told you that your mother didn’t make it. 

You took in a sharp breath when you woke up, the morning light burnt your eyes until you closed them again. Your back ached from the outdated springs on the old bed. You felt like you had been run over by a bus quite honestly, and despite what you had assumed to be a decent amount of rest, there was a tiredness deep in your bones that had settled there for the past 20 years. Begrudgingly you sat up, a low groan escaping you as you stretched, your bones popping and cracking throughout your body like some sick symphony. 

You slowly open your eyes as they adjust to the dull brightness that day provided and look around the unit that the Boston QZ provided you and your roommate Tess, though you guess she’s more like a ghost nowadays since she spent most nights with Joel. 

Joel. 

You, Joel, and Tommy arrived at the Boston QZ together, during what you would easily call the worst few years of your life. During which time both you and Joel bonded over your loss. With every year you got better at handling your loss, and started to move on. You were a nurse before everything had ended, so you helped out where you could medically and on the side you accepted some other jobs. You helped smuggle a few things here and there, even sent some reliable customers Joel and Tess’s way. You used to just shoot the shit with Tommy, talking about what the world was like before it ended. But that was before he went ahead and joined those goddamn Firefly’s. When you found out you were so mad you could’ve screamed and hit him, but you left that to Joel instead. You admired the way Tommy still held onto hope, despite all that he’s seen and went through, but joining the Firefly’s was going against FEDRA, and going against FEDRA never went well. 

You were so lost in thought that it wasn’t until you heard a silent ‘shit’ coming from the kitchen and the sound of glass shattering across the floor that you realized you weren’t alone. Instinctively you reached for your gun, You were often alone in the unit and just because the world went to shit didn’t mean things didn’t happen. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had to defend yourself in your unit. You walked silently as you walked toward the kitchenette, gun raised and your thumb hovering over the safety. It wasn’t until you saw the familiar long light brown hair that you lowered your gun. 

“Fuck Tess,” You cussed as you took a deep breathe attempting to calm the nerves you had gotten, “I thought you were-what the fuck happened to you?” You asked as she turned around, one half of her face was swollen and littered with scars, her clothes had droplets of dried blood dotted across. Not enough to notice from afar, but up close you could spot a large droplet or two. You rushed over to her where you motioned her to sit on the rickety chair next to the table. The floorboards creaked as you walked over to the floorboards in front of your radio. Uncovering it to reveal one dusty bottle of rum and a first aid kit filled with things you had snuck out of the clinic over the years. Tess was silent as you set the first aid kit and the rum on the table before grabbing two mismatching glasses filling up both, before passing one to her. She downed hers as you poured yourself one and dabbed a bit on a piece of clean cloth. 

You dabbed the cloth onto her cuts and bruises before applying just the smallest amount of antibacterial onto your fingers and just dabbing it on the deeper cuts. Once you had put the antibacterial back in the first aid and the cloth was set aside, you downed the rest of whatever you had poured on your glass. 

“So,” you broke the silence, “gonna tell me what happened or am I going to have to ask Joel?” You see Tess take a deep breath before sighing, pouring herself another glass and taking a swig of it before responding. 

“It was Robert,” She revealed, “I found out he was going to fuck us over with the car battery,” your nails dug into the palms of your hands. You never did like Robert, based on his personality you assumed no one else did either, “So I got jumped by a few of the teenagers in his rank and next thing you know I’m tied to a goddamn chair and he’s pacing around paranoid about Joel.” 

“I would too,” you interjected, Joel had become increasingly violent over the years, earning himself a fearsome reputation. And while you would never admit it, you were both scared and intrigued about what his rage could do. What he was willing to do while in that state. You took another sip of the rum, hoping the liquor would hide that particular thought away. Forcing it down with the rest of your more complex emotions. 

“Yeah, well if it weren’t for the Firefly’s I would probably either still be in that chair or dead by now. They blasted through the damned wall and a full blown shootout ensued. I tried to leave but FEDRA caught me, thinking I was Firefly. When they let me go after some intense interrogation I came here and you wanna know what really just fucks me off,” You nodded, “Robert fucking weasled his way out, fucking scot free.” 

“FEDRA didn’t catch Robert, but they caught you?” You asked, when she nodded you rolled your eyes in annoyance. Of course FEDRA would focus more on capturing a (at the time) defenseless woman and feeding their ego by reinforcing their superiority before actually capturing someone guilty of something. You finish off your glass before setting it back down on the table. 

“Well,” you started, “did they hurt you anywhere else? Any cuts or bruises that need tending to before I put this shit away?” 

“Are you asking for a strip tease Doc?” Tess teased as she sent you a wink, you rolled your eyes before closing your kit and the bottle to the rum before grabbing it. 

“You wish, Detroit.” You winked back as you placed the kit and bottle back to its place beneath the floorboard next to the radio. You looked at it for a second, thinking briefly that you hadn’t heard from Bill and Frank a while and hoped that they were doing fine. Maybe you would stay longer than you did last time, Bill was getting older and Frank’s condition was worsening. They could use the extra help, but you were sure Bill would refuse, just like last time. 

You turned back to Tess who was still sitting at the kitchen table. 

“Tess,” You put one hand on your hip as you leaned against the wall, “we’ve got to tell Joel.” 

“I know,” She sighed, “he’s not going to like it.” 

“He’s most likely going to fly off the handle, yes.” you agree, “but still, Robert’s not going to get away with holding you captive and fucking you two over.” You grab your shoes, pull them on and lacing them before making your way to the front door. You opened the door for Tess and locked the door behind you. 

///////////

“Joel.” 

“Yeah.”

“Who the fuck is this?” you ask, motioning towards the petite 14 year old brunette staring out the

window. After informing Joel on what happened you left for your shift in the clinic, after the shift ended and you saw the sun was about to set, you rushed home to grab your first aid kit and stuffed it discreetly in your bag and made your way back to Joel’s where you were sure him and Tess would be there ready to be patched up. Instead what you found was Joel lying on the couch and an unfamiliar girl staring out the window with a far off look in her dark eyes. 

“The Queen of England,” The girl sarcastically replied, “and who are you, off brand GI Jane?” 

“Can you even point to England on a map, aren't you like five?”

“I’m 14” 

“Tell that to your height.” 

“Alright,” Joel groaned, getting up from the coach rubbing his eyes slightly before getting up fully, “enough.” you kept eye contact with the girl as Joel makes his way to you, a calloused hand on your shoulder. “At ease Doc, this is Ellie, we’re taking her to the Firefly base outside of the QZ.” You missed the warmth of his hand as soon as it was removed. 

“By us do you mean-” 

“We’re going to need you Doc,” Joel said gruffly, almost like he didn’t want to say it, “if we give Ellie to them with so much as a scratch on her the deal's off.” You walked over to where he was by the sink, leaning close to talk quietly. 

“What deal?” You asked, eyes searching his dark ones, they shone with a tiredness you’re sure yours portrayed as well. 

“We take her there, and they give us what we need.”

“A car battery.” 

“And weapons,” Joel added, you had to admit weapons and a car battery that worked sounded nice. But

you looked over to where Ellie sat, fiddling with the book in her lap. 

“Why?” you asked, eyes still trained on her, not seeing how his eyes lingered on you for longer than they should, “Why go through all this trouble? Who is she?” 

“I’m thinking she’s some higher ups daughter,” he explained, “they didn’t give us a clear answer on that.” Despite your suspicions you decided to leave it for now. You continued to watch her for a second. It was strange to think that Ellie and kids her age would never know what the world was. Sometimes you liked to wonder what kids her age would’ve been like had this life not been forced upon them. But you would shake those thoughts away, it was useless wondering what could’ve been when you needed to survive. 

You walked over to her, sitting cautiously beside her. 

“So,” you started, “You’re Ellie.” 

“Yeah,” she responded, looking at you cautiously. You couldn’t blame her, so young and affiliated with the Firefly’s already, You don’t know what kind of people she’s been exposed to.

“It’s a cool name,” you said, extending a hand, “people call me Doc.” Warily she accepts it. 

“Like Doctor?” Ellie asks. 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you a doctor?” 

“Closest thing to one at the moment,” you said removing her hand from your own, you see her tugging at her sleeve but pay it no mind. 

Tess entered not long after, it was time. And so far everything had gone smoothly, well, as smoothly as it possibly could be with Ellie being distracted over the outside world a few times, almost getting caught in the process. Until you eventually got caught. Even through the blur of the flashlight you could feel Joel tense, you wanted to reach out to him and calm him down. For a minute though before the soldier had you on your knees with your hands behind your head, you were sure he was going to let you go. He was testing you all, ‘doing this by the book’, he said. The uncomfortable tingling of the handheld device was over nearly as it began, you were clean. 

Then came Ellie. 

As soon as he touched her neck she stabbed him with a knife you didn’t notice she had before. That’s when all hell broke loose, you don’t know what did it for Joel, if it was the flashlight or the fact that this officer was going to shoot a little girl, but you saw Joel break. Without caring about getting shot he disarmed the soldier, but he didn’t stop there. You’ve seen him get violent a few occasions before, but this, this was something he was holding back. He kept pounding on him, blood decorating the stones, he would’ve kept going had you not pulled him off of him. You held onto Joel, riding out this PTSD driven rage, coaching his breathing. Until finally he ceased, you let go and distanced yourself from him before seeing Tess. The handheld device in her hand as her eyes widened. 

“GUYS!” She shouts, showing the screen on the device, a bright shining red.

Fuck

[waitinguntilnovember]

a non-romanticized day in the life of a jobless artist/writer high school student

12pm: around this time, I was able to wake up. I have very bad insomnia, which does not mix well with going to school at 8am, but thankfully yesterday was a Saturday, so I could sleep in.

12:30-1pm: I made myself a coffee with almond milk and plant-based creamer and no breakfast because I find it very hard to eat when I wake up. Because all of my mugs ran out (thanks, mom, for stealing my favorite one) I had to use a short glass cup. I have an easily sick stomach and I'm lactose intolerant but honestly, I still have cookies and milk at 3am when I'm writing. Screw my nausea.

1-7pm: I spend my daylight rotting in bed, doing god knows what. One minute I'm watching a nice cozy art vlog looking for inspiration and the next I'm upstairs making cereal as my only meal of the day and then going back into my cave. There will be short 5-minute intervals between where I'll take snacks or socialize with my family, but I always make it back to my room, stuck to my laptop. I might sneak in a quick one-line poem I thought of and frantically look for a pencil to write it in my notebook. I might think of a random idea for a book or painting. These hours are spent doing absolutely nothing but simultaneously everything at the same time.

7-11pm: painting is my #1 healthy outlet besides writing. I try to paint almost every free day I have to calm myself down when things get rough mentally. Yesterday, I painted a branch with flowers on a small canvas. It wasn't much, but I like it anyway. With insomnia, it's like everything is obscured or blurry, so having these things to keep me on track is very nice.

11pm-around 5:30ish am: at later hours, I write. I spent as much time as I possibly could writing. I find my mind is much more active, or creative, in this time period. Most of the time when I say I'm going to write, I end up editing and revising previous paragraphs. It's a habit I need to work on. What I'm working on right now is a short novel that is told through therapy sessions, where the main character is spiraling slowly with each chapter and has a very warped view of life. A lot of the experiences the main character has come from my own. I'm figuring out a few rough details but I have the plot completed as well as the precise timeline and writing technique I'm going for. If I do end up publishing this, I don't want to put spoilers on Tumblr, so don't expect much out of me relating to this subject.

About 6am: I finally start to feel tired after staring at my ceiling for about 20 or 30 minutes. It takes a bit longer to actually fall asleep after this.

Today, at around 12pm again: I woke up and did the same 12-1pm routine. After, I spent about 30 minutes rereading and only slightly editing my writing from the night before.

.・。.・゜✭・.

Everybody goes through hard points in their life where romanticizing can't make it better. Right now, I'm struggling a lot with my personal health and it's affecting my life and making my mental health so much worse. The passing of midterms this last week has been a great help with my gentle recovery this weekend, as I've finally been able to rest, but I still find even in my relaxed, comfortable state I manage to be stressed out.

And that's able to be dealt with.

I know that most people crumbled under their own pressure like I am with mine, and they made it out. I believe once the season changes and the school depression passes along, I can have my healthier version of this lifestyle back. I will be able to eat meals during the day and go out with my friends without coming home drained. But, unfortunately, all of this takes time.

Do not expect your change to come the moment you set your mind to it.

It's a gradual change. In your sleeping schedule, your moods, your eating habits, everything-- it can't be achieved in one day. If you want to see results, you will have to work and wait for them.

I know there will be moments when it gets even harder, and you feel like you almost need to be sad to feel something, but please trust me when I say that is not the answer. You can experience something other than that zombie-like blankness you feel every day.

Please realize it takes time to feel it, though. And do not give that up if you think it won't work.

.・。.・゜✭・.

Remember that my inbox is always open if you need someone to talk to. I'm a stranger over the internet, I'm faceless, I will tell nobody, not a soul. I promise you that you will always have someone to talk to after seeing this post. Do not think otherwise ever again.

[tefilovesreading]

It’s a match! Part. 2

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem!Reader

Word count: 2k

Warnings: None, language but that’s it.

A/N: LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED. 

Edited by: @theamazingtomholland​ 

MASTERLIST // PART 1 // PART 3

“What do you mean he sent you a good morning text?” Jo asked, almost choking on her toast.

“He asked for my number last night,” Y/N explained, her hands shaking while she tried to unlock her phone, “and when I woke up, I had a text from him saying good morning and wishing me a good day.”

“Damn the boy is a keeper,” her friend whistled and winked at her after she read the message.

“He told me he wanted to FaceTime.”

She sat on the stool next to where her best friend was sitting and rested her chin on her hand. The butterflies in her stomach felt more like hundreds of bees buzzing fiercely in there. 

“And you?” Jo questioned with an intrigued look on her face, “do you wanna do it?”

“I think so,” Y/N answered, biting the inside of her cheek, “he’s really cute, and I had fun texting last night.”

“Well that’s a new one,” the ginger girl joked. All their friends knew how much Y/N hated texting, leaving messages on read for days, or taking absolutely forever to respond. She always felt weird texting, not knowing very well how to keep the conversation going over text.

“Tell him you have thirty minutes, and then you have to go do something else,” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and Jo rolled her eyes, “that way if you don’t feel comfortable you have an easy exit.”

“And what if I’m enjoying it?” Jo looked at her as if she was trying to explain how the water cycle worked to a kid, “Jo I’m being serious!”

“In that case, my love, you hang up and call him again after you tell me everything.”

“Who said I was gonna tell you anything, uh?” Y/N smirked and blew her a kiss after her friend gave her an offended look.

“Whatever, Y/N,” Jo flipped her off, “just tell him your professor was sick or something like that.”

“You’re a lifesaver, did I tell you that?” Y/N kissed her friend’s cheek and then jumped off, “I’m gonna go take a shower, see you later.”

“See you later, babe,” Jo said, “don’t forget to eat!”

“I won’t!” Y/N yelled, on her way to the bathroom they shared.

Y/N: Good morning! Hope you have a great day too

She smiled satisfied at her reply and hit the send button.

Y/N couldn’t remember the last time she felt so giddy about a guy, it was exciting, to say the least. Charlie seemed like an easygoing person and really easy to talk to. Sure she was nervous talking to him, but who wouldn’t? The guy was super cute and so nice to her, she already knew she’d be crushing hard.

Thirty minutes later, she was on her way to class with time to go to her favorite coffee shop and have a quick breakfast.

Charlie: Didn’t think you’d answer me so early hahaha Y/N: I have a class in like 20 minutes, wouldn’t have woken up this early if i didn’t have class lol Charlie: So you’re not a morning person Y/N: Oh no, absolutely not!!

She smiled at the boy in the cashier and laughed softly when he asked her if she was ordering the same thing she always did.

“Oh, can you add a brownie please?” Y/N asked politely, while she looked for her card on her bag. After paying for her food, she went to one of the tables in the back.

Charlie: Noted! I swear i try to not wake up early but i can’t Y/N: I bet you’re the kind of friend that wakes everyone up with a lot of noise  Charlie: How did ya know that hahahaha Y/N: I was just guessing, but you do seem like a loud person Charlie: I am, i won’t try to deny it Charlie: What about you??  Y/N: Mmm Y/N: It depends Y/N: But my laugh is extra loud, so I can’t say I’m a quiet girl

“Vanilla latte!” Y/N put away her phone and stood up to get her order.

“Thanks, Dylan,” she thanked the boy and grabbed a few napkins before making her way back to her table. 

Charlie: I bet your laugh is really cute

Her cheeks were burning after that message, and it took her a couple of minutes to tame the butterflies in her stomach before she was able to type a response. Because as much as she wanted to laugh it off and change the topic, she knew he was flirting with her and if she didn’t flirt back, their conversation was basically dead.

Y/N: Guess you’ll have to find out yourself ;).

That was a nice reply, right? She screenshotted their chat and sent it to Jo. If anyone knew how to flirt while texting, it was her best friend.

Y/N: How does it look? Is it too much?? Too little?? Y/N: H E L P

Jo’s response was quick as always. One of the many reasons she loved her.

Jo: Girl it’s fine Jo: Stop worrying about it Jo: It’s mysterious and a good way to tell him you wanna FaceTime Y/N: Ok ok thank you love ya Jo: Love you more  

Checking the hour on her phone, Y/N finished her bagel and gathered her stuff. She waved Dylan goodbye and left the coffee shop. She spent more time than she expected to in there and if she didn’t hurry she’d be late for class. 

It was times like this one that made her regret not knowing how to drive because even if all her classmates liked the Lyft program they had for free, she still felt unsafe getting in the car without a friend.

Back in the day, when she was still dating Lance, he’d made sure to call her and talk to her during the whole ride to wherever Y/N needed to go just to make her feel safe. After all, he was never a bad boyfriend, their paths just went in different ways and they both wanted different things in life.

Charlie: Yeah i guess Charlie: What if i call you later when you’re done with your classes??Charlie: No pressure

She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks for the second time in less than an hour and had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling. 

Y/N: Sure, i’ll let you know once i’m done Y/N: But i have to say bye for now Y/N: Gotta pay attention haha Charlie: Get that degree! Charlie: Talk to you later!

Focusing on whatever her professor was saying was a hard task, she just wanted to pull her phone out and text Charlie, see what he was up to and get home as soon as possible, so they could FaceTime.

Sitting on the edge of her seat, she couldn’t help but bounce her leg to relieve the eagerness rushing through her veins. She still had fifteen minutes left, and then she’d be sprinting out of the classroom and going back to her apartment.

“Dude, do you gotta use the bathroom or what?” Sadie, the girl she always sat with during class, whispered through gritted teeth.

“Sorry,” she apologized, crossing her legs to stop herself from bouncing her leg. Although the new position didn’t stop her from moving her foot. 

“What’s up with you?” Sadie snorted once she realized Y/N couldn’t sit still.

“Nothing,” she replied quickly, scribbling on her notebook the pages she needed to read for the next class, “I just wanna go home.”

“But you have never been this eager to leave this class,” the girl commented without looking at her, too focused on taking notes, “you love this class.”

“I don’t know,” Y/N let out a sigh and checked the hour on her watch, “I just don’t feel like sitting here right now.”

Her classmate didn’t make another comment about her eagerness to leave the classroom, she just nodded her head as if she was telling her she understood.

“I think that’s all for today, guys,” the professor mentioned, leaning on the desk, “have a good day, and don’t forget to read the articles I mentioned.”

Y/N hurried to gather her things and waved Sadie goodbye before walking as fast as she could to the door. She needed to leave before the halls flooded with students. Y/N considered taking the stairs instead of the elevator but knowing how clumsy she could be, she opted for the latter. Falling down the stairs wasn’t on her plans.

Twenty minutes and a mile later, she dropped her keys on the bowl next to the door of her apartment and kicked off her shoes. She checked her out in the full-length mirror Jo had in their living room and shrugged. Charlie knew she was a college student, and it wouldn’t be weird to see her wearing a hoodie with her college’s logo, also, she was comfy and didn’t want to change into something else. 

She fixed her hair and made sure she didn’t have smudged mascara under her eyes and then made herself comfortable on the couch.

Y/N: Just made it home

Y/N: That was one hell of a long class haha

She bit her nails, the nervousness kicking in while she waited for a response from Charlie. Maybe he was busy now that she wasn’t. God if their schedules didn’t let them at least FaceTime, she felt like she’d start crying and delete the app. It wasn’t like she was talking to other guys though.

Charlie: Finally!! Charlie: Wanna FaceTime?? Or are you tired?

“Fuck no,” she whispered to herself before she started writing her reply.

Y/N: Nah! Let's FaceTime

Her heart started pounding on her chest when the video call entered and the phone started vibrating in her hand.  

“Shit, shit, shit,” she cursed before putting a smile on her face and answering the call. “Hey!”

Holy shit. His pictures didn’t make him justice. 

“How you doin’?” Charlie said and her cheeks blushed.

“It’s that a Friends reference?” she asked trying to hide her smile.

“I swear I don’t mean it in that way,” he laughed, and the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled made her heart flutter. “But seriously, how was your day?”

“It was good even though I hate waking up early,” the way Charlie was looking at her with so much attention, even if it was through a screen it  made her feel so confident, “I had breakfast at this little coffee shop near my apartment and then went to class.”

“But that sounds like a nice morning,” Charlie mentioned, his sweet smile never leaving his face.

“What were you up to anyway?”

“Not much actually,” he shrugged and the gesture made him look young, “I went for a run, then I had to film some tapes for a few auditions, and now I’m chilling.”

“You’re an actor,” Y/N pointed out, not even surprised about the new information he just revealed. It was Los Angeles after all.

“I am,” he smiled, and she swore she could see a pink tint on his cheeks, “I started back in Canada when I was about fourteen or fifteen.”

“Any chances I’ve watched it?” Charlie scrunched his nose and shook his head.

“Maybe, if you are into foreign films,” Y/N tilted her head confused at his answer, “It’s in French.”

“You learned how to speak in French for the movie?” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows together when Charlie started laughing.

“I grew up speaking French and English,” he explained with a soft smile, “I’m French Canadian.”

“That makes a lot more sense now,” she laughed off her embarrassment, “I’m gonna blame the fact that I woke up early today. I’m not this dumb, I swear.”

“Don’t worry,” he said and the smile faded just enough for her to notice his intense stare, “I thought it was cute.”

She bit her lip at his words and tried to look away from the screen, but Charlie’s eye contact felt as if he was looking right into her soul and she couldn’t break that connection even if she wanted to. And she definitely didn’t want to do that.

tagged: @chevyimpala00067​ @samanthawilliamspring​ @searchingunderthestars @luke-patt @moneybagmgk @angisbr @happinessinthedarkesttimes @knitsessed @cordeliascrown @crybabyddl @phantompogues @the-romanian-is-bae @doaspeggy-says

[roseworth]

Aligned

word count: 2001

description: Rapunzel is pregnant, and Nigel thinks that she needs to give her child an arranged marriage. She and Eugene strongly disagree.

Nigel had been droning on about customs regarding the newest addition to the Royal Family for almost an hour now, and Eugene felt like he was about to fall asleep. Their baby still had at least 6 months until she was even born, yet apparently, they still had so much to figure out.

“Captain, are you even listening?” Nigel asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, royal customs, baby things,” he said, bored out of his mind.

“What he means to say,” Rapunzel cut in before Nigel could answer, “is that we have months before the baby is due, couldn’t we spread this planning over time?”

“We are spreading it over time, Your Majesty. This child will be the heir to the throne, there are lots of preparations to make before she’s born.”

Eugene held back a groan as Nigel pulled out a long scroll. “We can finish for today once you make a decision on who to promise the child to.”

“‘Promise?’” Rapunzel repeated. “What does that mean?”

“It means to give her an arranged marriage.”

“That’s dumb as hell,” Eugene said.

“Eugene!” Rapunzel scolded, though she didn’t disagree with him.

“Sorry. Respectfully, that’s dumb as hell, Sir.”

“It’s tradition! Future Kings and Queens should be promised to other royalty,” Nigel said tritely.

“I don’t want to do that to our child! What if I had been promised to someone, then where would we be now?” Rapunzel argued.

Nigel frowned. “Your Majesty, you were promised to someone.”

“What?” Eugene and Rapunzel said at the same time.

Nigel nodded. “As I said, it is all future rulers. Your marriage just fell through when you were… ahem, taken.”

“So what happened to who she was promised to?” Eugene asked.

“I assume he was given a new Princess,” Nigel shrugged.

Eugene frowned at the idea that Princesses were something you could just give away. It made them sound like some kind of cattle rather than human people. That didn’t sit right with him, especially concerning his wife and future daughter.

“Well, I appreciate the concern, Nigel, but we won’t be ‘promising’ our daughter to anyone,” Eugene declared, crossing his arms.

“But you have to! It’s tradition.”

“There’s no law stating it,” Rapunzel pointed out. “If it’s just ‘tradition,’ I think we’re gonna pass.”

Nigel tightened his grip on the scroll. “Your Majesty, I would strongly urge you to comply with the traditions of the Kingdom. There’s no use changing it if it’s worked well enough so far.”

“But it hasn’t! We wouldn’t even have this baby if I had been forced to marry someone else,” she said.

Nigel sighed. “We’ll come back to this issue at another time,” he said as he exited the room. Rapunzel turned to her husband.

“I’m not promising this child to anyone.”

“I agree with you, Sunshine. And I’m sure we can get Nigel on our side eventually, or at least wear him down ‘til he gives up.”

“Ugh, imagine if that marriage didn’t fall through. What if I had come home just to be told I had to marry someone else?”

“Honestly, sweetheart, I don’t think that could’ve happened, only because you would have raised hell the second they told you.”

“Hey, I just know what I want!” she defended.

“Well, I guess I’m just lucky enough to be what you want,” he said, kissing her cheek. “So who do you think you were promised to?”

She shrugged. “I guess it could be any of the princes or kings.”

“Like King Trevor!”

Her jaw dropped. “Trevor?”

Eugene had a cheeky grin on his face as he responded, “You never know! Maybe that’s why he never leaves us alone!”

“Or maybe it’s because you’ve broken into his castle twice,” she said. “Plus, we did technically crash Trevor Jr.’s wedding.”

“Blondie, that was a seal wedding. If anything, we made it more interesting.”

“Well, I doubt it’s Trevor. He was in love with my mom, remember?”

“All the more reason to try to marry you!”

Rapunzel smiled and rolled her eyes. “I guess it doesn’t matter who it is, since I’m clearly not going to marry them.”

“Come on, aren’t you at least a little curious?”

She sighed. “Yeah, I kind of am now,” she admitted. “I bet my parents would know, we should ask!”

So, at dinner later that day, they brought up the subject of the arranged marriage again. “Nigel thinks that we should promise our child to some random Prince, which I think is a little crazy,” Rapunzel recounted. “But he told me I was also promised to some random Prince.”

“The tradition of promising the future rulers is long-standing, but if you think breaking it is what is best for your family, by all means, break it,” Frederic said.

Arianna smiled. “I was pretty reluctant about arranging a marriage when I had you, I’m glad you’re standing up against it.”

“Do you know who my marriage was arranged with?” Rapunzel asked. Her mom thought for a moment, then shook her head.

“I believe we made the agreement long before you were born. After everything we went through with my pregnancy, I hardly remembered by the time I had you.”

“Was it Trevor?” Eugene asked jokingly. Arianna choked on the food in her mouth before laughing.

“Oh, dear, I hope not!”

Rapunzel giggled, placing a hand on her stomach. Looking at the way her family so easily cared for each other, she couldn’t help but feel excited about their new edition. Their daughter would be loved and cared for, no matter what happened. Rapunzel was ready to do everything she could to give her daughter a happy life, starting with making sure she wasn’t married off without a say in the matter. It was the least she could do.

Over the next few weeks, Nigel would occasionally bring up the matter of arranging a marriage, only to be immediately shot down every time. No one was surprised by his insistence in the matter, though. He was always concerned with upholding the traditions of the kingdom, even if the traditions were outdated and, as Eugene so gracefully put it, dumb as hell.

They finally got a break from all the preparations when they went to visit the Dark Kingdom. Ever since Edmund had left to restore the kingdom, Rapunzel and Eugene did their best to visit at least once every other month to stay connected with him.

Edmund was elated to see them as always. He walked over to them with a grin on his face and wrapped his arm around Rapunzel’s shoulder. “It’s great to see you two! Or should I say, you three?”

She laughed, placing a hand on her stomach. This was the first visit to the Dark Kingdom since they found out about the pregnancy, but Eugene had told his dad everything in a letter. Needless to say, Edmund was beyond excited to be a grandfather.

“Yep, one more Der Sonne on the way!” she beamed.

The three of them exchanged pleasantries, with Eugene and Rapunzel talking about the pregnancy, and Edmund talking about all the progress he had made in restoring the kingdom.

Edmund gave them a quick tour of all the changes he had made, but in all honesty, they couldn’t tell the difference. They had only been to the Dark Kingdom once before the restoration, so they didn’t notice things like new carpeting in a random room on the edge of the castle. Nonetheless, they nodded along as they listened to his descriptions.

“Oh, you two must be tired from your travels! Come with me, we’ll sit for dinner!” he said, leading them to the dining room. “Plus she’s pregnant, she must be tired enough as it is!” he added to himself. He had gotten better at keeping his thoughts to himself, but he still slipped up sometimes. Rapunzel just giggled lightly, shooting Eugene an amused glance.

“So, have you two been swamped with planning for a royal baby?” Edmund asked.

Eugene snorted. “Definitely, I’m getting sick of all this work that comes with it.”

“It was the same way when your mother was pregnant with you. There was so much paperwork for just one child. And none of the paperwork even mattered after the kingdom fell!” he added exasperatedly.

Rapunzel’s eyes widened excitedly. “You had to do the paperwork for Eugene? Did you promise him to someone?” she asked. Edmund nodded, and a smile grew on Rapunzel’s face. “Who was it?”

“Seriously?” Eugene groaned.

“Hey, we don’t know mine, so I at least want to know yours!”

“Sorry, Rapunzel, I don’t know off the top of my head. I might still have the documents in storage, though,” Edmund answered.

After some convincing, Rapunzel dragged her husband to a storage room so they could sift through old Dark Kingdom documents to find his birth records. There were cabinets and boxes full of various documents, each one starting to rip or fade.

Eugene was quickly scanning papers for information, but Rapunzel was reading as in-depth as she could into each document. “It’s so cool! There’s so much to learn about the history and the culture of the Dark Kingdom in these documents!” she said.

“Wow,” he replied. “I can’t believe I married a nerd.”

Rapunzel giggled and nudged him lightly, going back to her dive through all the documents. About 20 minutes later, she was halfway through a record of the trades between the Dark Kingdom and Neserdnia when Eugene spoke up.

“Hey, I think I found them!” he announced.

“Oo, what does it say?”

His eyes flitted over the page, then a huge smile grew on his face as he looked back up at her. “Wow, Blondie, it looks like you have some competition.”

“What?”

“I mean, the girl I was promised to is a real catch, you might have to look out,” he said teasingly, handing her the documents. She raised an eyebrow as she took them, reading through the page. She couldn’t help but smile as well when she saw what was written on the page.

Prince Horace of the Dark Kingdom is to be married to the first born Princess of Corona.

“Look at that! I guess we were destined to be together after all!” she beamed.

“Or just a really lucky coincidence,” he responded.

“Come on, there was some kind of fate working on our side!”

“Let’s not give Max that much credit.”

“Fate or not, we still found each other after all,” she said, grabbing his hand. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The two of them spent the rest of the night trying to come up with ways that their lives could have gone differently, but still finding each other every single time. They knew there were so many small coincidences that led to them meeting and falling in love, but even if all the moving parts weren’t there, they would still fall in love. That’s the thing about soulmates- they’ll always find their way to each other.

“The ruggedly handsome Flynn Rider would easily woo the beautiful and mysterious Princess Rapunzel!” Eugene laughed. Rapunzel scoffed.

“Maybe Princess Rapunzel would think Rider was an arrogant thief,” she teased lightly.

“Maybe, but then she would realize deep down, he’s just a rogue with a heart of gold,” he said.

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. “Yeah, she would. And they would fall in love despite everything.”

“And live happily ever after.”

Maybe it wasn’t “fate” or “destiny” or “soulmates,” but no matter what, the universe was on their side. Or maybe it was all just luck. They’ll never really know for sure if any magical forces were at work to bring the two of them together.

In the end, it didn’t matter how they met. What mattered was that they loved each other more than anything, and they would make sure their child would feel that same love. That’s all the “destiny” they needed.

[karasuno-volley]

anon request : new parents with bokuto and kuroo? maybe they can both have sons? :)

plot : how could he do this to you?

warnings : very slight inferred anxiety attack if u squint.

pairing : kuroo x fem!reader

a/n : parent stuff lives rent free in my head. this was not edited bc i am v tired. might do that later. likes / reblogs welcome, no reposting, please !! love, volley. note : bokuto’s is here.

     You fear that he’s left you there, gripping the pregnancy test, one arm resting over your growing stomach. The sunlight drifts in from the window, bathing everything in gold. It makes you feel sick, and you reach for your phone in somewhat of a blind panic. You wonder who to call in this situation, and out of simple habit, you hover over Kuroo’s number. Then you realize that would be stupid, of course, considering he’d just walked out on you. You’re about to call your mom--even though she didn’t live near you and had no way of alleviating the situation, before you eye Kenma’s name, just a few above your fiancé’s.

     It’s rare for you to call him. At least, not unless you were checking up on him or calling to see where he was so you and Kuroo could find him in crowds faster. You take a deep breath (though your lungs seemed to not want to inhale any oxygen), and call him. It rings only twice before you hear his best friend through the receiver. “Hello? …Y/N?” You can’t stop yourself from letting out a few quiet sobs, struggling to explain to him that Kuroo had seemingly just run out on you right after your confession. Kenma listens quietly before speaking once you’ve calmed a bit: “Hold on. Don’t go anywhere, I’m on my way.”

     It feels like forever before Kenma finally knocks on your door, but it was probably only 20 minutes later. You open it for him, still absentmindedly gripping the pregnancy test. “I just want you to know, once I find him, he might come home with a black eye or two.” Kenma warns, moving past you towards the kitchen. “Coffee?” He offers, and you watch dumbfounded as he starts brewing some. “... Do you know where he is?” You ask, voice quiet; fearing the worst as Kenma quietly puts the hot mug in your hands, forcing you to drop the test on the living room table. “Of course I do.” You watch him run a hand through his hair. “I called him on my way over here.” “Well where…? You know what, nevermind. If he’s gonna run off like this, then…” You spin your engagement ring around on your finger. It’s a nervous habit, but Kenma picks up on it all the same. “Woah, Y/N. It’s not--.”

     A knock on the door interrupts him, and Kenma glances at you once more before opening it. The only thing you see are Kuroo’s legs. The rest of him is covered in soft plushies, his arms struggling to hold them all. “He’s an idiot.” Kenma offers, and you hear Kuroo from behind the pile, half-yelling. “Y/N! I’m so sorry. I really thought I said something before I went to… Uh, I brought some stuff for him.” He drops it all by the door, a small teddy bear falling down the mountain of presents and toys. Kuroo looks at you, a mixture of joy and pride and apology falling across his expression, a hand going to rub the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’m an idiot. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

     Mouth agape, you find a way to speak. “Kuroo…. What is wrong with you?” Something that sounded like a laugh fell from your lips. “You ran out on me so you could… Buy presents and stuffed animals?” “Oh!” He’s obviously suddenly reminded of something, digging through the pile before holding up a playing-block version of the periodic table. “I thought he would like this… Are you crying? Y/N, don’t cry, it wasn’t… I didn’t…” He comes to you in two paces, easily wiping the tears from your cheeks that you didn’t even know were there. Somewhere in the background, you hear Kenma leave, but Kuroo doesn’t even notice as he tugs you against his chest, chin resting on top of your head. “I just figured he could use some presents and stuff is all. We can change my office into the nursery.”

     You pull away then, unable to really process anything. Hitting his chest, a mixture between a laugh and sob escapes. “He? You think they’re a boy?” Kuroo reaches down, caressing your stomach. Nothing’s there except a slight bump, but he holds it all the same. “Positive.” He kisses you, but just as you start to give in, you move away, half-yelling. “Kuroo, if you ever do that again, I’ll…!” “I know. I’m sorry, babe. I already got an earful from Kenma on my way back here.”

     A smile graces your lips. You toss him the positive test then, and wipe away the last of your tears, though your cheeks are still flushed from emotion. “Can we try this again?” Kuroo smiles then, excitement coming over him as he grabs your hand, tugging you to his office as he shows you how he envisions it. Chair there, crib there, toy box in that corner…  As you let him explain, you lean against the doorway, one hand covering your engagement ring, feeling it twist and move underneath. Maybe you don’t just play with it when you’re nervous.

master taglist :  @beanst0ck​, @owlnymph​​ ( send an ask or message to be added ! )  

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH49

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

-----

Chapter 149: Purgatory Reunion (I) {cw: misgendering}

[Player Qi Leren has completed the task Star Death Reality Show. The task completion rate is 77%.]

[A reward of the base 15 days survival days has been given. 77% of task completion rewards 31 extra survival days. Best of the Day ranking was received 3 times, earning the reward of 15 survival days. Eliminated all amphioctopuses for the reward  of 30 survival days. The proportion of the audience who questioned you was 47.8%; the reward is retained.]

[Data synchronization countdown, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, synchronization complete.]

　　&&&

"Aaaaah how could they kill us!" As soon as he came back, Qi Leren heard Dr. Lu’s screams. "It's really crazy! Blowing up the four of us together to destroy the octopus! Is this something that people do?!”

Du Yue was also very depressed: "That, how can it be like this..."

Qi Leren thought that this was unexpected. Looking at the strange things done by the copy’s cast, and how many strange alien creatures existed in the universe, the future interstellar world was probably not a civilized world ruled by law. In order to avoid future problems, it had bombed the planet, destroying the humans and the threat together… If the military in the Alien movies was so decisive, the Alien series wouldn’t have been able to go on for so long.

He just didn't know how the audience felt. But as for what kind of "audience" existed in that copy, Qi Leren couldn't figure it out now. He guessed that there may be no "audience" at all, and the Best of the Day and questioning rate were just a set of data simulated by the system.

Qi Leren took a look at his survival time. He had had 147 days at the start of the copy, and his survival time would not pass while the task was in progress. However, because he had used that bug-like card [Sophisticated Lawyer], he’d consumed 130 days of survival time all at once, and only 17 days remained at the end of the task.

This task had rewarded a total of 91 days, so now he has a total of 108 survival days, which sounded good, but... Qi Leren looks at his missing left hand. He would have to pay at least one hundred survival days to make it grow back—he had come back to life, why couldn't his missing hand grow back as well?

Qi Leren has many speculations about how he had been resurrected from a pile of meatloaf. He vaguely felt that he was different from before. He could feel a huge energy, but he didn't know how to push open the heavy door that blocked him from it.

Dr. Lu wanted to take Qi Leren to find the player who could regrow limbs. Qi Leren refused: "I’m in a hurry now, I’ll come back to you later when I’m free."

Saying goodbye to Dr. Lu and Du Yue, Qi Leren rushed to Chen Baiqi.

When Chen Baiqi saw Qi Leren, she was really surprised: "What happened to your left hand?"

"It's a long story, listen to me first! Is it safe here?"

"...Come with me."

In the basement that usually acted as their training ground, Qi Leren spoke quickly about what had happened in the task, and also told Chen Baiqi about the laptop.

Chen Baiqi listened to him quietly until she heard the news of Ning Zhou's death.

"So I have to go to the Underground Ant City’s Purgatory as soon as possible, and I don't have much time left," Qi Leren worried.

"Yes, but I'm afraid it's dangerous for you to go alone. You’ve broken your shell now, and you’ve already sensed your original force. Although a half-field hasn’t yet been completed, you’ve been much faster than I expected... We’re not ready, tsk, it’s troublesome, and you survived falling into a mess of meat. I’ll go to see the Prophet later and ask his opinion." Chen Baiqi's slender eyebrows furrowed. It was rare for her to have an uncertain expression. "Forget it, I can’t help with anything right now. When you bring Ning Zhou back, we'll think it over again. Wait a minute and hold your horses, and I'll ask if anyone at the Court will go to the Underground Ant City. If so, they can take you there."

The next few hours were as busy as a fight. Qi Leren took the time to recover his left hand. Dr. Lu volunteered to help him pay all the medical expenses. Qi Leren was very moved and then refused him: "Forget it, I’ll be going somewhere dangerous soon. I may not be able to come back alive. If I owe money, I won’t be at ease when I die."

"...This is the first time I’ve seen someone curse himself so bluntly." Dr. Lu looked pained. "You have to cherish your life, isn't it good to live?"

"This is only the worst case scenario," Qi Leren said calmly. He had realized that whether he raised flags or not, his lucky value wouldn’t change from E to S, so it didn't matter.

"But treatment takes 100 survival days at once. This is still the value of friendship given to you by your cute peer... Hey, shouldn’t you have a lot of survival days from the previous Holy City task?" As soon as Dr. Lu counted the time, he felt that Qi Leren’s survival days weren’t quite right.

"I encountered some things and deducted 130 survival days... I will come back and tell you in detail next time." Qi Leren felt depressed when he thought of Su He’s face.

"Did you have it deducted because too much of the audience questioned you?" Dr. Lu said doubtfully.

"No, it's something else." Qi Leren said anxiously, "Don't talk about this right now, talk about the treatment."

"Oh, then I'll pay some of it for you first. Give it back to me when you have more time next time," Dr. Lu said generously.

"Well, I'll sell this to you." Qi Leren remembered the reward he received after killing Leviathan, and showed the item [Lucky Revolver] to Dr. Lu.

[Lucky Revolver: There are six slots in this gun’s chamber, one of which is loaded with a bullet. Shooting at one's own temple can give one minute of absolute defense within a radius of 500 meters around the locked target, but the absolute defense is invalid for this bullet. Even if you are lucky, God will only give you five minutes. If you are not afraid of death, you can continue for another minute. Locked target: not set.]

"Oh, this is good!" Dr. Lu picked up the revolver and said happily, "You can get five minutes of absolute defense in a critical moment!"

See, this is the confidence of a European emperor. When he looked at it, he felt that he would not be shot, while Qi Leren felt that he would absolutely be shot! If it had to be used, it could be paired with S/L Data, but Qi Leren was short on time now, so he chose to sell this item to Dr. Lu.

Finally, this item was given to Dr. Lu for 20 survival days. After deducting the treatment cost, Qi Leren had 28 days left, which was enough for him to go to Purgatory deep in the Underground Ant City.

After his limb regrew, Qi Leren, who was sweating profusely, rubbed his newly grown left hand and hurried to Chen Baiqi's house.

"Why is it you?!” Qi Leren saw the Illusionist drinking tea with Chen Baiqi, and he had a bad feeling in his heart. After asking, his hunch came true. The Illusionist just wanted to go to the Underground Ant City to perform his mission, and promised to take Qi Leren with him.

"Can you fly an aircraft? Do you know the way to the Underground Ant City? Do you know how to deal with demons? Do you know anything about life in the Underground Ant City? Do you know where Purgatory is in the Underground Ant City? If you don't know all this, do you dare to go to the Underground Ant City? Kid, do you think the world outside is as peaceful as the Village of Dusk?" the Illusionist mocked Qi Leren with a smile.

Qi Leren didn’t dare to refute. Although he had gained a preliminary understanding of information about the Underground Ant City when acting undercover as Red, after all, he had never been there, and his understanding of it was very superficial, so it was very dangerous to rush forward.

"Time is of the essence, you should set off tonight. Take this material and equipment, Qi Leren. You can use them on the road, and ask the Illusionist directly if you don't understand anything. Although he talks a lot of shit, he’s still reliable," Chen Baiqi said concisely. She threw a big bag of things directly to Qi Leren.

"I have no money now, after coming back..." The poor Qi Leren said sullenly and was interrupted by Chen Baiqi: "As long as you bring Ning Zhou back safely, these are all free."

"I’ll definitely bring him back!" Qi Leren said firmly. Even though he was still sitting in the cottage in the Village of Dusk, his heart had already flown over the vast wilderness and arrived at the distant Purgatory.

Chen Baiqi smiled, and uncharacteristically did not refute him: "Well, I know."

The senior single dog Illusionist’s face shifted, turning his eyes away with an unbearable expression, then turned his head to continue drinking tea with a straight face.

　　&&&

At 23 o'clock that night, the Court’s official aircraft took off. The driver was not the Illusionist, but an executive officer of the court. He gave a gift to the Illusionist and was very respectful.

The Illusionist and Qi Leren sat in the back seat of the aircraft, and both of them were very silent along the way. Qi Leren studied the information about the Underground Ant City and watched it for more than two hours at a time, until a faint headache worsened to the same pain as electricity drilling into his brain. He retched a few times and felt sick.

The Illusionist said with a look of disgust, "If you dare vomit here, I will throw you out."

"Don't worry... There’s nothing in my stomach to vomit." Qi Leren covered his throat and poured himself some water.

Qi Leren hadn't had a rest for a long time. Except for his death in the underground glacier, he hadn't slept for more than 48 hours. His body protested physically and mentally. He could still hold on under tension, but now he was sitting in the aircraft and forcing himself to watch the information intently for more than two hours. He couldn't hold on.

He also knew that he should have a rest, but the urgency of time that waited for no one spurred him on, leaving him with constant fear and uneasiness.

He was really too scared. When he closed his eyes, the figure of the black dragon sinking into the lake of flames would emerge in his mind. Just imagining the pain and fear of losing, it felt like the string of reason in his mind was broken.

But he had to rest. Qi Leren himself knew that he couldn't meet the next challenge in this state.

"I'll sleep for a while," Qi Leren whispered.

"There is a bed in the back, go and lie there," the Illusionist said without looking up, pointing behind him.

"Thank you." Qi Leren gave thanks, climbed from the seat to the back cabin, and pulled down the bed curtain that cut off light and sound. Although it was just a cot narrower than a college dormitory bed, he felt satisfied when he lied down to rest for a while.

Qi Leren, who had a splitting headache and was exhausted physically and mentally, took two pills, which were the sleeping pills he had asked Chen Baiqi for. Before they kicked in, Qi Leren took out Ning Zhou’s life crystal. It was intact, suspended in his hand safe and sound, and there was a small drop of blood in the center of the crystal, which was surrounded by the slowly rotating bright spots of gold and silver.

He just looked at it gently and quietly, letting his overflowing thoughts hover in this narrow world.

At the moment of reunion, he thought, he would have to give Ning Zhou a hard hug, hard enough to convince him that they would never separate again.

The roaring mechanical sound outside the aircraft faded away, and the exhaustion began to emerge. Qi Leren carefully returned the life crystal to his item bar and slowly fell into a deep sleep.

-----

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

[whyjm]

Why I did not like the Spn finale

This is gonna be a long post..

I cannot get over my thoughts about how it ended and how bad I feel about it. I am so angry, sad and feel so utterly disappointed, I cannot wrap my mind around how this was supposed to be a satisfying tying up emotional archs ending??? Bc it was so far away from satisfying I would laugh if I was not presently crying over it..

There are several things that irked me a lot. Many people have voiced the problems of this show and its ending much more eloquently than I will ever be able to do.. But I gotta get these fucking thoughts and feelings out of my system.

I have been with Spn since the first episode aired. I am a straight woman, I don’t have to fight for representation, I don’t have to worry about coming out and being accepted for who I am, I don’t have the daily struggles of feeling anxious or depressed or suicidal or not being able to be who I am. I am lucky that way!

To me love is love and all love should be equal! And I stand with all who struggle and all who are not free to be who they are. I see you and I love you and I support you fully!!!

To see my friends having to fight, and then on top of that have a show that has meant so much to so many people be butchered and have a negative last message sent out, in its last 36 minutes of its life … It is a hard pill to swallow.

Cas and Dean  

In 15x18 we got to have a beautiful confession from Cas to Dean where Cas tells Dean he loves him and we know this is romantic love bc Cas begins by saying that the one thing I want I know I can’t have and then later I love you. Also Misha confirming it! This scene made me ugly cry so hard bc FINALLY.. (BUT what is missing from it.. the editing is strange.. bc Cas pushes Dean to the right but he falls to the left. Dean has no tears in his eyes while he looks straight at Cas when he talks, but he has tears in his eyes when he looks over his shoulder and see the empty. So what in this scene has been cut away and WHY?) Misha and Jensen did a great job with this and Cas got to find peace in just speaking his truth...  And it was beautiful to watch and after having seen Dean sitting sobbing on the floor the natural and logical continuation of this would have been to in the next episode address this, but in episode 19 no such thing happened. And I wondered where did Dean’s grief go where did his CARE for Cas go?? Dean who has been depressed and suicidal when Cas have died before is all of sudden cold and act like nothing have happened at least nothing that affected him very deeply.. It felt disconnected and strange. And it continued on like that and it felt very strange to NOT address such a HUGH plot point. It’s not enough to have Dean say to Chuck to bring Cas back or to see him wasted out of his mind, or hugging a dog like his emotional wellbeing depends on it.. This is not resolution or addressing it.

All of season 15 has felt like the relationship between Cas and Dean has been in focus and important to the overall arch of the season, and explored and then all of a sudden all traces of it are just ripped away, erased completely.. To have a confession like this go unacknowledged to me is poor writing bc you do not leave this big of a thing hanging in the air without resolution (fine you can argue Cas got resolution but I feel that no Cas did not get resolution either bc his feelings SHOULD have gotten a response no matter what that response was.. Dean did not, we never got to hear or see his version or his thoughts about it.)

I was thinking narratively they HAVE to address this, Deans thoughts and reactions to this gotta be shown. They HAVE to resolve this, acknowledge it. I have been sure a long time they would NEVER have Dean reciprocate Cas love  but keep it in subtext bc they are too fucking chickenshit to do that but at least have Dean talk about Cas….. that I expected him to do.. But it was not done in 19. I got the horrible feeling in my gut that they are not gonna resolve this they are gonna fuck this up, they are gonna go full brothers only and not give a fuck they are gonna push Cas out and show no care. Then we come to the final episode and boy howdy is there a lot to unpack with this episode.

(I had watched the long road home before the finale and when I watched that I KNEW that the end was going to be a letdown I felt it in all of me that I was gonna be disappointed. And I was proven right. And I have so many thoughts all jumbled up around each other that I don’t know in which end to start so sorry if what follows is incoherent and rambly.. )

15x20 - The end  

20 felt like a FILLER episode, right up until Dean’s death scene I was bored and was seriously considering turning my computer of and just not watch. (A finale should be as engaging and emotionally packed like episode 18 was. I refuse to acknowledge 20 as the end.. To me it ended on 19. That wrapped things up. Not completely satisfying but hell of a lot better than the disaster that 20 is.) But then Dean was impaled on that rusty spike thingy and I was watching with attention. I GET why they did Deans death the way they did, even if that is one shitty death for Dean and could have been fixed so he did not die.. I get what they wanted to get out of it: a brothers sad moment that they turned into a irksome thing. I actually cringed about the head thing and the hands and the farming of it all just urgh I got sick to my stomach watching that. What should have been a beautifully sad moment was put together in a romantic coded way and that to me ruined the heartfelt goodbye. Bc you do not touch and hold a dying family member like that. I KNOW I have said goodbye to my fair share of loved ones that I have loved soo deeply, but the thought of touching like that NO no way.. And also they have NEVER done that forehead touch in previous deaths, so to do this now just felt irksome.

They killed Dean a character that has struggled his whole life with being daddy’s blunt little instrument, who has self-worth issues and are suicidal, who has never lived for his own sake but have only ever lived to protect and raise another, he continues to put others before himself though (up until the last couple of seasons where we have seen them both break away from this toxic behavior). Finally he was allowed to LIVE and have a life that was not controlled, not running in a hamster wheel like a fucking puppet on a string. He was Free of all of that. He was free to go after what HE wanted for himself and what Dean wanted was LOVE, in my mind its perfectly clear that Dean loves Cas back bc that is what the story have been telling us.. its right there and the story do not make sense without it. Many others have done a great job at talking about this and describe this way better than me. So I leave further discussion about that topic to them.

Dean was looking for a job.  The angel Dean has loved since purgatory told him that he loved him and then died sacrificing himself to SAVE Dean yet again and then Dean dies a few days later.. How is this doing justice to Dean and what the hell kind of message does this send out to the ones watching?? They are saying it does not matter if you fight, your destiny is written for you and the only relief and comfort you will have will be death. They are saying Meh don’t fight it’s better to die bc it does not matter what you do. This is one of the fucked up messages this godawful ending sent to all those who have identified with Dean and Cas throughout the years.

They also say Cas who has been part of the story for 12 years is not important enough to have there, they IGNORED Cas, a mention in passing does not do justice to a character that has been crucial to the boys lives for 12 years. Dean Screamed in Sam’s face CAS IS FAMILY, Dean was destroyed when Cas died, he was hurt when Cas left bc everyone leaves Dean, Sam missed Cas etc… but still not important enough to show up in heaven in the last episode greeting first Dean and then Sam to heaven.. PFT��

To leave Cas and Misha out of the FINALE of a show that he has been part of for 12 years is so fucking disrespectful to Cas, to Misha and ALL the fans who love and adore both. It also makes no sense since  they all say how beloved Cas and Misha are. and don’t go fucking covid made it impossible bc the last scene with all those people without masks.. No that is just lying liars who lie…Covid my ass! This angers me a lot.

Family do end in ONLY blood apparently…..  

(And maybe lead to a lot of viewers for walker???  hence this very nice shirltess Sam scene............. ) shirtless Sam is always good though so no complaining here.

We see Sam and the dog give Dean a hunters funeral.. NO OTHERS are there?  How is it possible that none of the found family wouldn’t want to be there and show up?? Jack has restored everyone but still only Sam and the dog are there, no Eileen, no Jody and the girls, Donna, Garth, and the list goes on and on. Bc they wanna hammer in harder that supernatural has ever only ever been about two brothers and no one else matters ever.. It does not matter that this has not been true since the earlier seasons. The show of course is about Sam and Dean’s lives and journey through life, and I have loved to follow along on their journey.  BUT it was a long time ago this was the ONLY thing that mattered (bc if it had only been about the brothers the show would NOT have gone on for this long). Along the way they have picked up FOUND Family, and the message of the show has been Family don’t end in blood, Always Keep Fighting. But this last episode reverted back to season 1 and disregarded ALL character growth and storytelling of the past 12 years and went with fuck it ONLY Sam and Dean are important. So the next fucked up message they sent where: There is no Family don’t end in blood.. The only family that matters is blood. And then they have the balls to say Always Keep Fighting.. Are they fucking kidding????

Character development…….. who????  

Sam lives on after Dean dies and we get a montage of his life where he look miserable and is shown to not being able to get over that Dean died. We get a blurry wife and a kid named Dean. In his house there are photos of ONLY himself, Dean and their parents and maybe one of his son? Don’t remember all the details and refuse to watch that episode ever again. But no friends, no family, no happy moments are shown, it looked like a very lonely life. He dies with only his son there.. WHERE are Sam’s friends??? This montage of Sam’s supposed happy life is NOT happy bc he is not able to get over that Dean is dead, he can’t live a  happy life bc Dean is not there - again something that irked me and felt disrespectful to all the growth Sam and Dean have gone through. It was toxic codependency all the way through and that is not satisfying to watch. Especially since the brothers had actually broken that dependency. Sam had broken free, Sam have through the years wanted to get away from Dean and live his life as he wants and then he was happy…We have a moment way back in season 5 maybe? Where Sam runs away and this is shown as one of his happy moments in dark side of the moon.. No Dean in his happy places, Sam having thanksgiving with his girlfriend and her family, Sam alone with a dog. We have Sam and Amelia when Dean was in purgatory. So Sam IN text have been shown being able to be happy without Dean so why could he not do it this time?? Makes no sense! You can grieve but still have a good life.. But they CHOSE to show it like Sam was miserable bc Dean was dead and life was not worth living happily without Dean there..

The brothers have lately interacted like two individual adults, separated from each other, making their own decisions and trusting each other in making them, they wanted different things in life. And seriously WHERE DID EILEEN GO?? Why was Sam not reunited with Eileen that he some eps previous was shown to love, no instead they had blurry wife which feels like such a cop out. Sam did not get to live a happy fulfilling life and why did Sam not deserve to live a happy life with Eileen??? I know they are blaming corona for a lot of things missing in the finale that they intended.. BUT and this is a BIG BUT remember Jensen did not like the ending it did not sit well with him, he had a hard time digesting it, he objected to the ending! He spoke about that dying in battle would not be a satisfying ending - see the video of him talking about this at SDCC 2019. There is so much more to say about this but other people have voiced it so much better than I ever could so I move on to the next issue.

Dean in heaven  

Dean when he first arrives there happens upon Bobby who tells him John and Mary lives down the road and that Rufus and Arheta lives around there too. I hope Bobby’s wife was indoors, and that Jack with the help of Cas fixed heaven.  To this Dean only smirk/smiles.. and then Dean sees baby and goes for a drive ALONE with the words he will be here soon from Bobby again Sam is the only one that ever matter PFT. Dean who found a home in the bunker alongside Sam, Cas and Jack who told John: I have a family and that he was happy with himself and his life…. Spends his time endlessly driving around alone just waiting for Sam to appear.. ALL of Deans growth is thrown out the window.. he is reduced to salad dressing. Deans only purpose is to live for his brother and cannot possibly have what he WANTS for himself not even in death. He drives around for who knows how many years until Sam dies. HOW is this justice to DEAN? How is this a good and satisfying ending for Dean. Dean who wanted to LIVE, Dean who wanted to experience people in new ways, who had let go of Sam and saw Sam as his own person, now in heaven only drives around waiting for Sam to get there having no life or meaning of his own. It pisses me off to no end that they reverted back to toxic codependent Sam is all that is important to Dean shit.. They have broken away from this shit years ago and this is how they choose to end it right back at the beginning..

Now what is the point of telling  a story of growth and love and life if all that that journey amounts to is ending up at the exact point it started on?? You can watch season 1 and 2 and then this finale and it makes sense.. But having watched season 1-15 this ending does great injustice to the characters and the story. Again many others have written way better posts about this that expresses the great disappointment and hurt that is being screamed everywhere right now.

The Actors

I want to add the performance of all actors through the years, the love and care they have poured into their characters are amazing I have loved every bit of that journey. I love Jared, Jensen and Misha, and all the others for their amazing work and that is maybe why it hurts so much it ended in this way!

[whumping-to-conclusions]

Howdy there! Thanks for tagging me on the post. Could I get number 20 please? [voice trails off as I vanish behind a corner in awkward slinkiness]

This snippet introduces a couple of my OCs, Eleanor and Jesse, two definitely-not-in-love programmers in their mid-20s who you'll be seeing on here every now and then. They're a pair of cuties; I hope you like them.

----

Tap. Tap. Tap-tap. Eleanor was typing away at her computer when it started.

It was early afternoon at the office and she was editing a line of code, nose practically pressed to the screen, when suddenly, her vision went fuzzy at the edges. She rubbed at her eyes, thinking that maybe she had gotten something in them, but her periphery remained fuzzy. Lights and blobs of nameless colors started popping in front of her eyes.

“That’s weird,” she murmured.

Then came the pain.

A sharp, clear stroke of pain cleaved her forehead, like someone had driven a searing nail into her brain.

“Agh!” Eleanor took her glasses off and pressed her hands to her head, but it did nothing to abate the throbbing, aching pulse, the nail driving in further second after second.

“Eleanor? You okay?” Jesse’s voice floated out to her from the neighboring cubicle. Eleanor couldn’t even answer.

She heard footsteps approaching. Jesse’s hand touched her shoulder, the brush of a bird’s wing.

“Eleanor? What’s wrong?”

“Headache,” she gasped. “Really bad headache.”

More footsteps.

“What’s going on?” Mia’s voice. A pause. “Is… she okay?”

“I don’t know. She says her head hurts.”

Eleanor heard Mia bend down beside her, felt her feel her forehead.

“Eleanor, can you hear me? Look at me.”

Eleanor lifted her head from her hands and winced at the radiance from the fluorescent light above her. It was much too bright.

Mia was kneeling beside her, and Jesse and a few of her other coworkers were standing around her. She groaned a little. “Nothing―just―the head―and I can’t really see―it’s too bright in here.” She shivered and closed her eyes, pressing her hands to her head again.

“I think she has a migraine,” Mia said to Jesse. “She’s probably going to have to take the day off, especially if she’s got no meds for it.”

“I’ll take her home,” Jesse said immediately.

“You sure? I can take her if you’re busy with something.”

“No, I―I got it.” The others murmured their assent. Jesse’s hand touched Eleanor’s shoulder again. “Can you stand up?”

Eleanor nodded. Woozy from pain, she rose from the desk. It felt like she was underwater, her movements thick and slow. She opened her eyes a crack, looking down at the floor to avoid the fluorescent lights. Mia handed Eleanor her bag and glasses. Jesse offered his hand, and Eleanor took it, grabbing at the walls of the cubicle for support as he led her out of the office.

Jesse stopped and turned to face Mia again. “Uh, tell Ben I’m taking the day off.”

Twenty minutes later, Eleanor was huddled on Jesse’s couch as he brought her a cup of tea. The room was darkened, the lamps turned off to keep from hurting her head. The apartment was cluttered, but cozy--movie posters on the walls, CDs and books piled up around the coffee table and couches, not to mention the wealth of electronics scattered around.

Jesse handed her the cup and tried not to wince. He hated seeing Eleanor like this―her skin too grey, her hands shaking, her beautiful dark eyes dull with pain. He handed her the cup. “Drink this--my mother always made it when I was sick.” Eleanor took a sip, and Jesse glanced at her for her reaction. “You like it?”

Eleanor swallowed. “Yeah, it’s―it’s good. I just….”

Jesse knew that voice―she always had a little hesitation to her speech when she was afraid of inconveniencing someone. “What is it?”

Eleanor set down the cup on the end table. “Something cold sounds better, actually.”

Jesse nodded. “No worries, I’ll get you some ice water. Anything else?”

“And… a cool rag for my head sounds pretty good right now,” she admitted.

“Of course. I’ll be back in a second.”

Jesse dashed out to the apartment’s kitchen and poured a glass of ice water for Eleanor, then took a clean dish rag out of the cupboard and ran it under the faucet. He started wringing it out with more force than what was strictly necessary. The worst part of this whole thing was that there was absolutely nothing he could do to help Eleanor but keep her comfortable. His job as a programmer was all about fixing―tweaking the code, eliminating bugs, changing the programs to function exactly as intended. But this was a bug he couldn’t fix. He hated it.

Jesse returned to the living room along with the glass and cold rag. “Here you go, El.”

Eleanor took a sip and draped the rag on her head, brushing her dark bangs aside. Jesse took a seat on the other end of the couch and tried to let his mind wander. But he was still too fixated on Eleanor’s pain. He found himself looking back at her every minute or so, just to make sure that she was okay.

“You can go do something else if you want,” Eleanor said softly, after a while.

Taking care of you is what I want. “I’m staying here.”

Eleanor nodded.

The afternoon passed by and slowly changed into night, and Jesse’s stomach started to rumble. “I… kinda need some food,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

Eleanor gave a listless shrug. “Still hurts. And I feel a little sick to my stomach.”

Jesse took her hand and rubbed at her knuckles gently. “I’m sorry. Does food sound good or no?”

“I don’t really feel like eating.”

“Okay. Let me know if you want something later, though, yeah?”

“I will.”

Jesse turned on some classical music and thirty minutes later he sauntered out of the kitchen with a bowl of tomato soup.

“I’m sorry,” Eleanor said as he sat down on the couch again.

Jesse’s brows drew together. “For what? You haven’t done anything.”

“I... didn’t want to put you through this whole mess. I… I don’t want to be a burden on you.” She picked at the hem of her blouse.

Jesse set down the soup and looked her straight in the eyes. “Now, I want you to listen to me, El. You are not a burden. Don’t ever think that, okay?”

“Okay.” Eleanor nodded, then rubbed at her temples. “It just hurts so bad.”

“I know.” Jesse gave a sympathetic grimace. “Is there anything that can help take your mind off the pain? Any movies you like, or music? Or maybe… no, that’s a bit silly.”

“What?”

Jesse felt his ears getting hot. “I was going to suggest I could read a book to you, but, you know, if that’s childish or whatever―”

“No, that sounds nice. Really,” Eleanor added, leaning forward earnestly. “You seem like you’d have a good reading voice.”

“Okay. What sounds good?” Jesse got up and walked over to the bookshelf on the other side of the room and started running his index finger down the spines of some of the books. “I have all kinds of novels--mystery, fantasy, a little horror but you probably don’t want that right now….”

“Any fairy tales?”

Her voice was so soft, a bird’s wing brush, that Jesse wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. “Sorry, what was that?”

Eleanor blushed and cleared her throat. “Sorry, I, uh, asked if you had any fairy tales.”

Jesse smiled. Look at her, all embarrassed about it. “I think I do, actually. Give me a moment.”

Jesse darted through the door on the opposite side of the living room and into his bedroom. It took a few minutes to locate the book, but eventually he found it stashed under his bed.

He walked back into the living room toting the huge volume and flopped down on the couch beside Eleanor. The cover was dusty, faded pink and green, and embossed with curly gold letters. Jesse rubbed the dust off the cover. “Hans Christian Andersen’s Compendium of Fairy Tales. My favorite as a kid, actually. Here we go.” He flipped to the first page and cleared his throat. “Once upon a time….”

Jesse had no idea how much time passed as he read tale after tale, keeping his voice lilting and soft as to not aggravate Eleanor’s migraine. Eleanor watched the pages turn with her lovely eyes, which seemed to grow just a bit brighter as he read. Eventually, Jesse realized that it was very silent, and looked over. Eleanor had fallen asleep against his arm, her head nestled in the hollow of his shoulder. Her breathing was deep and even.

Jesse didn’t want to disturb her, so he simply stayed like that for a while, listening to the sounds of the night, until the book slipped from his hands and he, too, drifted off with a head full of dreams.

[snowdice]

Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 56]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24

Okay, let’s see what Virgil has literally dug up.

Chapter 25

“Alright,” Patton said, pressing a kiss to Virgil’s forehead. “I’ve got to go back to my room for the night. Will you two be okay?”

“We’ll be fine,” Logan said. “It won’t be particularly different than the last two weeks.”

Patton nodded and leaned to the side to squeeze Virgil in another hug. He’d been clingy since the incident in the courtyard, and Virgil had been appreciative considering he was still pretty shaky from it. He was still surprised he’d touched the king of Prijaznia (let alone ran into him) and lived to tell the tale.

“Goodnight, Pat,” Virgil said because he was pretty sure he wouldn’t leave if Virgil didn’t.

 “Night Virge,” Patton said with a smile before standing up from where they’d been sitting on the ground. He reached over to hug Logan who was sitting on a chair. “Night Lo! Put the book down and go to bed.”

Logan looked up from his book with a frown.

“It’s almost midnight,” Patton scolded.

Logan sighed and set his book down. “Very well,” he agreed. “We will get ready for bed.”

“You better! I’m going to come and wake you up early in the morning.”

“Early in the morning for you is 9am,” Logan scoffed.

Patton stuck his tongue out at him as he walked backwards out of the door.

 Logan gave his book a mournful look once the door closed and Virgil almost giggled. “I won’t tell on you,” he said.

Logan thought about it for a few moments. “No,” he finally said. “We should probably get some sleep.”

Virgil nodded and pushed himself to his feet.

“We should probably both take a bath after sitting in the dirt today,” Logan said. “Do you want to go first or should I?”

“Don’t care,” Virgil answered.

“You can go first,” Logan offered.

Virgil felt himself smile. “You just want to finish the chapter in that book,” he accused.

“Perhaps,” Logan conceded.

 Virgil just grinned and walked over to his closet to grab one of the outfits he’d been given for pajamas. He chose a pair of baggy shorts that went past his knees and the huge soft black sweater Logan had found in the back of his closet. He headed into the bathroom, noting Logan had already picked up his book again.

Logan may have declared the both of them dirty enough for bathing a few minutes before, but Virgil was cleaner than he thought he’d ever been before coming to the castle. Logan had taught him how to use the tub and what soaps to use for what a couple of days after he’d arrived and had suggested he clean himself regularly.

 Virgil didn’t mind. The tub was enchanted to warm the water inside of it and Virgil loved it. Though, that had the negative affect of making it very difficult to leave.

He cleaned himself up quickly, so he’d have a few minutes to just sit in the water before he felt like he needed to get out and let Logan have a turn. He changed into his pajamas, pulling the crescent shaped protection charm out of his day clothes pocket and storing the warm to the touch stone in the short pocket. He used the clip Patton had made it to pin it to the cloth to make sure he wouldn’t lose it.

 Logan was engrossed in his reading by the time that Virgil exited the bathroom. He did not look up as Virgil approached.

“Your turn,” Virgil said to him.

Logan clearly just barely managed to tear his eyes away from the book. “Right,” he said. “Yes.”

“The book will be there in the morning,” Virgil reminded.

“I know,” said Logan sadly as he set the book aside.

Logan never took much time in the bath, so Virgil quickly went about getting ready for bed the rest of the way. He put his day clothes in the basket Logan had for that purpose and started to straighten out the blankets and pillows in the closet.

 He heard Logan come back into the room a few minutes later.

“Virgil,” Logan said. “What are you doing?”

Virgil looked over at him. “Getting ready for bed,” he answered, confused.

Logan frowned at him. “You don’t sleep in the closet anymore,” Logan said. “That’s only for when we were worried you might escape.”

“Oh,” Virgil said blinking over at him. “Right.” He felt a slight pulling at his chest. He liked the closet. It was warm and soft. Patton had taken a lot of care with how he’d arranged all of the pillows and blankets. It was the best place he could ever remember having to sleep in his life. Yet, he did not argue. He knew getting to sleep out in the open was supposed to be a reward and he wasn’t about to reject it.

 Virgil stood and closed the closet. He tugged on the bottom of his sweater, stretching the fabric between his hands as he watched Logan pull down the covers of his bed and settle down onto it. Cautiously he walked over towards the bed. He wasn’t sure where he should lay down exactly. He dithered for a moment before bending down to sit on the floor near the right side of Logan’s bed and then laying down.

There was shuffling on the bed above him and then Logan’s head popped over the side to squint down at him. “On the bed Virgil,” he said.

 Virgil looked up at him in shock. “But it… I’m…” He trailed off and there were a few seconds of silence.

“It is just a bed Virgil,” Logan said.

But it wasn’t ‘just’ anything. Virgil was pretty sure touching the bed of a royal family member without permission would be considered a capital offence. At least, it would in Mocnejsi. Yet, Logan was expecting him to just… crawl into it?

“Please just get up here,” Logan said. Virgil’s caution at touching something he was definitely sure he should not be allowed to be touching wared with his resolve to repay his literal life debt to Logan by doing whatever he wanted.

 Feeling honestly a bit sick to his stomach, Virgil slowly pushed himself back to his feet. Logan scooted back over to the left side of the bed, and Virgil cautiously sat down on the empty side of the bed. After a second of hesitation he slowly laid down, his head hitting a soft fluffy pillow. He jumped when Logan flopped the covers on top of both of them.

Virgil took a long moment to absorb the situation while Logan took off his glasses and reached over to turn off the light next to him. He’d never slept in a bed before, or if he had he’d been too young to remember. In the orphanage there was a lack of actual beds due to overcrowding and there had always been someone bigger and stronger that Virgil didn’t dare fight for the use of them. During training, none of the kids had a bed. Only a few of the higher ups had ones at the more permanent training sites. There were very few situations where any of the assassins, at least a Virgil’s level, would be allowed to touch a real bed.

 The light switched off, plunging them into darkness.

“Is this…?” Virgil said, eyes still pointed towards the ceiling even though his eyes had not adjusted to the darkness enough to be able to see it. “Do you want… things?”

“Things?” Logan asked.

Virgil did not move his head, but he did reach over and put his hand slightly above Logan’s knee. Logan didn’t move, so Virgil slid his hand up.

Virgil’s wrist was grabbed immediately and pulled firmly away from Logan’s inner thigh. He did not let go afterwards, his fingers squeezing hard, but not quite painfully. “Never,” Logan said, his voice harsher than it had ever been even on the day when Virgil was nothing more than an intruder with deadly intent. “Never offer anything like that to anyone ever again.”

 “I was just…”

“I know what you were doing,” Logan said, voice icy, “and it inadmissible. Never offer that again for anything. Do you understand me?”

“I... yes.”

“Promise me.”

Virgil took a short moment to think. “I promise,” he agreed.

“Good,” Logan said, releasing his hand. His voice got softer too. “Good.”

They were silent for a long time after that, though Virgil had no delusions that Logan had fallen asleep. He could almost feel the tension.

“Sorry,” Virgil finally said softly.

“It’s not something you should be apologizing for,” Logan replied. The bed moved as Logan shifted and a hand lightly touched the top of his head. “Just… never.”

 “Okay,” Virgil said. He shifted slightly after a moment until his head was in the crook of Logan’s arm. Logan brushed the hair out of his face with the hand that had been on his head.

“Goodnight Virgil,” Logan said.

“Goodnight,” Virgil responded. They were quiet after that, though Virgil was still awake for a while yet and Logan’s hand slowly stroked through his hair for a while. Eventually though, Virgil relaxed into mattress. He stuck his hand into his pocket and curled it around the charm in his pocket. The bed was nice, he thought. It was soft and warm… and safe. He finally fell asleep.

  Chapter 26

Patton did their new special knock on the door so Logan and Virgil would know it was just him and they didn’t need to hide the fact that Virgil was sleeping in the prince’s room. He didn’t wait for a response, however, and just shoved open the door. He was surprised to see that Logan was not already out of bed and wondered for a moment if he had broken his promise stayed up way too late reading like he was sometimes known to do. Yet, then, Logan spoke from the bed. “I’m awake,” he called.

Confused, Patton stepped into the room. Logan wasn’t one for lazing around in bed; usually he was out of bed the moment he woke.

 He stepped over to the bed and had to stifle a smile when he recognized the problem. Logan was awake, but Virgil was still sleeping, and he was half on top of Logan, his arms wrapped around him.

“Why don’t you just squirm out of his arms like you do me?” Patton asked, keeping his voice low.

“He isn’t like you,” Logan said. He did not bother to quiet himself at all.

“What do you mean?” Patton asked amused.

In answer, Logan started to move as though to squirm out of Virgil’s death grip on him. In response, Virgil made a pitiful mewling sound in his sleep that landed like a piercing blow straight to the heart. Logan stopped moving immediately and Virgil shifted to grip Logan tighter.

 “Aw!” Patton said.

“It’s not cute,” Logan insisted. “I’ve been stuck for hours and I have to pee.”

Patton chuckled. “Alright, alright, I’ll save you.” He rounded the bed to Virgil’s side and crawled up on it. “Virgil, honey,” he entreated softly. “I think it’s time for me to get cuddles so Lo can get up.” Patton softly touched Virgil’s shoulder and pulled at him gently. He reached forward to carefully pry Virgil’s arms off of Logan.

Virgil made a more confused than heartbreaking sound this time, turning towards Patton so Patton could wrap his arms around him. Logan managed to scoot towards the edge of the bed.

39448

Logan made it off the bed and dashed towards the bathroom as Virgil’s arms came around Patton and squeezed. Patton laughed and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. After a few moments, Virgil’s eyes started to flicker a bit.

“Good morning, honey,” Patton said softly. “Did you sleep good?”

He hummed sleepily. “Beds are nice,” he said. Patton felt a slight pang at that because it implied he didn’t get to sleep in beds very much, but he chose to shove that aside.

“They are,” Patton agreed. Virgil’s eyes started to close again. “Honey,” Patton laughed. “I think it’s time to wake up now.”

 Virgil made a sleepy whining sound, squeezing Patton tighter. “Don’t you want breakfast?” Patton asked. That question managed to make Virgil open his eyes again. “I was thinking we could go down to the kitchen to eat that way it’s nice and fresh and I can introduce you to Mama real quick.” He neglected to mention the fact that they really did not have a choice. Mr. Deknis had blabbed to Mama about Virgil, and worse, had apparently mentioned that Virgil was skinny. As soon as he’d gotten home yesterday, he’d been met with an already worked up Mama firmly insisting that she meet Virgil sometime today.

 He wasn’t going to tell Virgil that though, because he thought it might scare him away from both Mama and Mr. Deknis.

Virgil thought about the prospect of breakfast for a long moment. “Fine,” he agreed. “I’ll be awake.”

“Good,” Patton said. He reached up to bop him on the nose. Virgil narrowed his eyes and then bopped him back making Patton giggle. He sat up then, and Virgil let him. “Let’s get you something to wear and do your hair,” Patton suggested. Virgil nodded and reluctantly got out of bed, just as Logan returned to the room. “We’re going to go downstairs for breakfast,” Patton told Logan. “That way Virgil can meet my mom.” He gave Logan a significant look and Logan nodded once in understanding that this was not a choice.

 Logan and Virgil got dressed, and Patton did Virgil’s hair up nice, before Patton led them out of the royal wing. They went down the main staircase instead of the spiral staircase that went right to the kitchen, mostly because it would be very busy, and Patton thought they should probably eat in the main dining room anyway. He could feel Virgil getting more anxious as they entered the busier part of the castle, and he stuck close to either Patton or Logan from the time they hit the top of the steps all the way to the main dining room.

 There were a few people in the dining room already eating breakfast when they arrived. Virgil’s curiosity seemed to temporarily overwhelm his anxiety as he looked around the large hall and at all of the people there. Patton looked around trying to see it through his eyes. He’d been running around this place since he was little, so he never really thought about how big the room was or how grandly it was decorated, but Virgil was just seeing it for the first time. Patton smiled at him as he guided him to one of the seats. There was already muffins on the table so Patton grabbed one and plopped it in front of Virgil.

 Virgil frowned down at the muffin dubiously. “You just… keep food out in the open?” he asked.

Right.

“It’s fine, Virgil,” Patton promised. “No one here would have put anything in it.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes and looked around at the other occupants of the room suspiciously.

“Honestly,” Logan said. “No one even knew we would be down here for breakfast. Nobody would just put something in random people’s food for no reason.”

Virgil gave him a look like he’d just told him people could in fact breathe under water. Virgil was really from a… whole different world, wasn’t he?

 “It’s really fine,” Patton said. “Logan and I have eaten things on the table like this a lot.”

“I’m surprised your not dead yet,” Virgil said.

Logan rolled his eyes and reached for a muffin. Virgil slapped it out of his hand and onto the floor. “Really?” Logan asked.

Virgil narrowed his eyes at him. “No eating unsecured food!”

“Virgil,” Logan groaned.

“I bet you don’t even know what common poisons taste like.”

“No,” Logan said. “I don’t because I don’t worry about being poisoned on a daily basis!”

“You should!”

People were starting to look over at them. Patton shot an awkward smile at the woman a few chairs down.

20285

“Just don’t eat the muffins Logan,” Patton said under his breath.

“I do not understand why-”

“Because it’s stupid as he-”

“Shush,” Patton commanded out of the corner of his mouth, “people are watching, and Virgil is just a normal castle resident.”

That shut the both of them up at least.

“No muffins for now,” Patton said. “I assume it’s okay to eat the things they bring straight from the kitchen.”

Virgil looked a bit leery of this still, but he nodded.

“Good,” Patton said, “then we’ll just wait for that to get here and then everyone will be happy, right?”

Logan opened his mouth and Patton turned to glare at him.

“Right?”

 Logan closed his mouth, though clearly, he did not want to give in so easily. They’d be doubtlessly rehashing this conversation once they were alone again.

Patton caught sight of one of the kitchen workers he knew fairly well come out of the kitchen and deliver food to a group of people who were there before them. She caught sight of them and walked over likely to ask them what they wanted for breakfast. Patton watched out of the corner of his eye as Virgil tensed, eyeing her approach suspiciously and she slowed under his glare.

This was going to be a long breakfast.

  Chapter 27

After an, honestly quite aggravating, breakfast full of Virgil’s cognitive distortions about the likelihood of being poisoned, Logan was relieved to finally be able to leave the dining area. In consideration to those serving breakfast, Patton did not lead them through the door in the back of the dining room that went directly to the kitchen, and instead took them out of the room and down the hall to a different entrance. This one had a guard stationed across from it as, despite what Virgil may believe, the castle workers did consider the possibility that someone would want to sneak into the kitchen for nefarious purposes.

 Said guard, of course, saw nothing wrong with the prince and the head chef’s son entering the side door even with the bonus stranger. In fact, he may even have known Virgil could be coming through this door if Ms. Heart had mentioned him.

Though Virgil hadn’t managed to catch it, Logan knew enough about Patton’s mother that he’d surmised that she had insisted Patton bring the boy to meet her. It was bound to happen at some point anyway, Logan knew, and he wasn’t particularly worried. After all, this was Patton’s mother. Virgil himself didn’t even seem particularly concerned.

 Logan had seen him panic and, while he tugged a bit at the sweater he was wearing, the motion was not particularly fervent, so he was likely just slightly nervous.

Of course, that may be because he did not know Patton’s mother specifically wanted to meet him and just assumed that they were starting the necessary process of introducing him to castle residents with a low risk person.

When they entered the hallway, Logan could already hear the usual noises of the kitchen: the clattering of plates, the bubble of conversation, and the sound of Ms. Heart’s voice calling out instructions.

 He did see Virgil hesitate, but Logan couldn’t sus out why and Patton was already ahead of them and opening the door into the kitchen. It was fairly calm for the kitchen considering it was meal hours. Logan imagined that Patton had chosen the time between when the day guards ate breakfast before their shifts and the night guards after their shifts on purpose. There was still a bit of chaos as dishwashers attempted to catch up during the lull and a few orders were still being made, but overall the mood seemed, to Logan at least, to be light as Ms. Heart ordered her kitchen around.

 Yet, Virgil clearly did not see the situation the same way that Logan did. He froze when the kitchen door swung open and some of the workers turned to look at them. He took a step back, bumped into Logan, startled violently, realized it was Logan, and then side stepped to hide behind him. Logan looked back at him in confusion, but Virgil said nothing, proceeding to mutely peer over Logan’s shoulder.

Patton had moved over to greet his mother as she wiped her hands off on a rag. She glanced over at Virgil and Logan and Logan saw Virgil shrink back a bit.

 Logan could see Ms. Heart’s eyes soften as she tracked his movement. She turned to the woman next to her and said something before moving to remove her apron and hang it up in its designated area. Virgil’s hands clenched in the fabric of Logan’s shirt when she turned back to him.

“It’s fine, Virgil,” Logan told him, but Virgil didn’t seem to believe him. Luckily, Patton had turned back and seemed to realize something was amiss.

He stepped back over to them. “Hey, honey,” he said. A plate clattered in the kitchen and Virgil just about ripped Logan’s shirt.

 Patton frowned sympathetically. “Too loud?”

“Virgil,” Logan said. “You are digging your fingernails into my skin.” Patton shot Logan a glare. “What?”

“How about,” Patton’s mom suggested. Virgil’s fingernails dug more into Logan’s skin. “We go to my office.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Mama,” Patton said. “Come here, Virgil.” He reached over to touch one of Virgil’s hands and had to pull a bit to get him to release Logan. “It’s back that way, away from the kitchen,” he said when he managed to twine their fingers. He stepped around Logan, probably so there was still a buffer between Virgil and the kitchen and tugged him in the correct direction.

 Ms. Heart shot a glance at Logan and Logan felt irrationally like she was trying to read his thoughts. Logan smoothed his features out and turned to follow Patton and Virgil towards her office.

As head chef, Ms. Heart had a small office where she could plan menus without the hustle and bustle of the kitchen and have meeting with people who needed to discuss dietary needs and restrictions. It was very well organized, but still looked fairly messy because of the numbers of decorations she had in it. She had a tendency to keep everything that Patton made her, thus she had his childhood drawings on the wall and little projects stacked on her desk and on the shelves. A lumpy cat statue acted as a paperweight on a stack of papers on her desk and there was a vase of fake flowers (as it could not actually hold water) sat near the window.

 By the time Logan entered the room, Patton was trying to coax Virgil into sitting down on one of the two mismatched chairs, but Virgil was having none of it. He had turned to face the door and was yanking at his sweater in nervousness.

Logan noticed that Ms. Heart did not come far into the room, instead pausing near the door. She did, however close the door to give them privacy, and that seemed to distress Virgil more.

She seemed to contemplate him for a moment. “Hello,” she said, her voice softer than Logan was used to hearing. “You must be Virgil.”

 It seemed as though he were willing himself to magically shrink, but he still replied. “Yes, ma’am,” he said quietly.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said. “I’m Patton’s mom.”

“I know, ma’am.”

“There’s no need to be formal, Virgil.”

He hesitated. “Okay,” he said somehow quieter.

Her eyebrows drew together in concern, and it seemed that she decided to result to her default way of making people more comfortable. “Would you kids like some candy?”

Logan saw Patton’s hand squeeze Virgil’s lightly. “That would be great, Mama.”

She nodded and walked forward towards her desk. Virgil turned so his back was never to her. If she noticed, she didn’t react. She just grabbed a small tin off one of her shelves and took the top off. “How about a peppermint candy?” she asked.

 She offered the tin out to them. Virgil stared at it like it was a venomous snake. Logan decided to act, stepping forward and taking three of the pieces of peppermint candy from the dish. He stepped over to Virgil and Patton and held out his hand, offering Virgil first choice out of all three.

He hesitated before glancing between Patton and his mother. He must have decided that Patton’s mom wouldn’t risk poisoning Patton and took one of the pieces. Patton took another one of them and popped it into his mouth. Logan ate the last piece.

“Thanks,” Virgil said to Ms. Heart before placing his piece in his mouth.

 Logan watched Virgil’s eyes light up a bit when the flavor registered. His posture didn’t completely relax, but he seemed at least a bit less like he was contemplating jumping through the window. His trust was almost worryingly easy to buy sometimes. All it took was a not poisoned peppermint.

Ms. Heart seemed pleased by his reaction. “I’m actually going to be making some new ones soon and I’m trying to get rid of these. Would you like to take another one for later?” she asked, holding out the tin.

He looked at it warily again, but he still stepped closer slowly and took another piece. “Thank you.”

 “Anytime,” Ms. Heart said, eyes looking over him intensely. “You look like you could do to with a few more sweets every so often.”

Virgil tilted his head in that way he did when he was particularly perplexed.

Patton giggled a bit. “She means your skinny.”

“Oh,” Virgil said. “Logan already gave me a malnutrition potion for that.”

“Did he now?” she asked, her eyes flickering to Logan. Logan winced. He was definitely in trouble for not bringing him directly to her. He was sure he’d hear all about it as soon as she caught him without Virgil in the room.

 She turned back to Virgil with a smile, and Logan imagined Virgil had no idea how dead Logan was. “Well, that’s a very good start, but if there was need for a nutrition potion, we should be careful to make sure you get enough calories and nutrients every day going forward.” She sat down at her desk. “Why don’t you and I talk for a bit about making sure you get some good food.”

He still looked cautious but was predictably enticed by the promise of food. He did not sit still, but he did put his hands on the back of one of the chairs and slightly lean on it. “Yes, ma’am,” he agreed.

“Okay,” she said. “Well, I’m going to have a few more specific questions, but let’s just start with what are your favorite foods?”

“I’ll eat anything,” Virgil replied immediately.

“He really likes chicken alfredo,” Patton contributed.

Virgil perked up at the name of the food. “I did like that,” he agreed.

“Alright,” Ms. Heart replied. That’s a start.

  Chapter 28

Thomas did not have to be told that something had gotten Helen Heart in a tizzy. He could tell just by the amount of food she had sent up on his dinner tray. She always made and pushed more food when she was stressed, and he couldn’t help but chuckle when he found both a hearty serving of roast beef and a mini chicken pot pie on his plate along with three vegetable side dishes and a side of macaroni and cheese.

He could also guess what had happened to illicit such a response. Thomas had caught up to Jeffers Deknis in his garden and they’d spoken at length about Logan and Patton’s new friend.

There was no way that after said discussion, Jeff had not mentioned Virgil (and more importantly his friendship with Patton) to Helen during their daily gossip sessions. There was also no way that Helen had heard the words “child” and “too small” in a sentence and hadn’t flipped. From there the inevitable sequence of events was clear: Patton went home, Helen talked his ear off until he agreed to bring Virgil to meet her, Helen met him and immediately committed herself to making sure he ate three square meals a day as well as multiple snacks.

Thomas had sussed all of that out before the kitchen worker bringing him his dinner had mentioned what had happened that day.

 That in mind, he decided to wait until after dinner should have been cleaned up before walking his own dinner leftovers down to the kitchens.

Thomas was unsurprised to see Jeff already in the kitchen. He was sat at a small table off to the side where kitchen workers usually took their breaks. The only person other than Jeff and Helen left in the kitchen was a dishwasher who was finishing up. Helen usually spent a couple of hours after dinner in her kitchen or her office organizing for the next day and in case anyone needed food on an off hour, and then there was a night cook who would take over so she could go back to her set of rooms.

 Helen took the tray of leftovers from Thomas herself and shooed the dishwasher out of the way. “I’ll handle the rest myself,” she told the girl. “You can leave.”

She nodded and started to take her apron off. Helen dumped the tray on the counter without care and turned back around to usher Thomas into one of the kitchen chairs. Thomas went willingly and she turned to fill the tea kettle with water and set it on the stove.

“It take it she met Virgil,” Thomas said to Jeff.

“She’s adopted Virgil,” Jeff replied, taking a bite out of a cookie.

 “And what of it?” she asked. “Someone obviously needs to feed the boy. Speaking of, you’re grounding your son by the way.”

Thomas took one of the cookies for himself. “Why am I grounding Logan?” he asked.

“He was worried enough about his health to make him a nutrition potion, but still did not bring him to me,” she harrumphed.

“I see,” Thomas replied.

“In Logan’s defense,” Jeff interrupted. “the boy seems rather timid. He may have worried about you scaring him off.”

Helen slapped him with a dishtowel.

“Actually,” Jeff continued. “From what I’ve gathered he didn’t have contact with anyone since the time I saw him a couple of weeks ago until now.”

 “Any adults,” Thomas corrected with a frown. “I’m pretty sure he, Patton, and Logan must have been around each other considering how close they already seem to be.” He paused, “Logan implied he wasn’t particularly… comfortable around adults.”

“I did get that impression, yes,” Helen said, pouring the hot water from the kettle into a tea pot and carrying it and some cups over to the table.

“He was incredibly jumpy,” Jeff confirmed. “I imagine he does not have good experiences with many people, but he seems to have grown attached to Logan and Patton. He defers to them in most things and seemed a bit protective.

 “Where did he come from?” Thomas asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jeff said. “I found him hiding in the garden shed a couple of weeks ago.”

“Did he sneak in?” Thomas asked.

“That’s what I would have thought,” Jeff replied, “but when I asked, he said he wasn’t trying to steal anything and that he was supposed to be in the castle. So, I’d assumed that meant he was the child of someone living in the caste.”

“But neither of us could find anyone who knew him,” Helen said. “Of course, we didn’t even know his name until now.” She seemed to decide the tea leaves had sat long enough because she started to pour them each a cup of tea.

Thomas took a sip. “Earl Grey,” he commented. “I guess I’m not sleeping much tonight.” It was her ‘planning tea.’

 “We need a plan,” she said, “but we’re going to have to be gentle.”

“At least with Virgil,” Jeff said.

Thomas laughed lightly, “and what do you plan to do with the other two?”

“I have my ways.”

Helen rolled her eyes. “You say that,” she said, “but you’re too soft. The two of them learned to run circles around you and your powers years ago.”

“We should talk to them though,” Thomas said. “Separately from Virgil.”

“We should,” Helen agreed. “I already spoke to Patton a bit yesterday, but I will again. We should see if we can ask around and find out why he’s in the castle. We don’t even know how long he’s lived here. Or who brought him here.” The look on her face told Thomas she wanted to have a talk with his guardians whoever and wherever they were.

 Helen took a drink of tea, it seemed to calm herself. “We need to make sure whatever has been happening to him is not happening in these walls,” she said.

Thomas had honestly… not thought about that. He’d assumed whatever made Virgil so skittish was in the past, but it was possible that it was ongoing. The thought made him sick.

“Perhaps you should try to talk to him, Thomas,” Helen suggested.

Thomas winced. “I am not sure that is a good idea...”

“Why not?”

“We don’t have the best track record… I don’t think me being around him would be a good idea.”

 “Oh, please, Thomas,” Helen said disbelievingly.

“No, you don’t understand,” Thomas said. “He seems disproportionately afraid of me. I think it’s a mix of me being king and how we met.”

“How did you meet?” Helen asked.

“I… gave him a bit of a fright,” Thomas admitted. “Logan and Patton weren’t in the room and I didn’t know who he was. He… ended up under the bed. Then… the second time I saw him he accidently ran into me. He freaked out again.” The memory still made Thomas feel gross. It also made him think there was a lot more to his backstory than the three of them understood.

43410

“Perhaps Jeff can try to talk to him then,” Helen said. “It sounds like he was calmest around you. I’ll push Patton towards taking him to the garden more often. I bet fresh air would do him some good anyway.”

Jeff nodded. “I will try to talk to him a bit more.”

“Great,” Helen said, but Thomas already knew the conversation wasn’t over. “Now we need to talk about strategic events to throw over the next few months that Patton and Logan to invite Virgil to. We’ll start slow, but we need to make sure he feels welcome in the castle.”

Thomas met Jeff’s eyes. Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 29

Virgil finished eating the breakfast Patton’s mom had sent for him. It had been going on a week since she’d made the menu for him. She sent up little cards with each meal and he was supposed to rate each thing she sent on a scale from 1-5. Logan would read it to him before he ate, and Virgil mark the little box on the card. Usually, he would put a 4 for everything (he had tried to do 5, but Logan had told him 5 was reserved for things like chicken alfredo). Three was for things that he was neutral on, 2 was for things he didn’t like but could tolerate, and 1 was for things he didn’t like. So far, the only 3 was the unseasoned porridge she’d sent one day.

 “Finished?” Logan asked.

“Yeah,” Virgil said.

“What would you like to do today?” Logan asked. “Patton is busy until after lunch, and then we thought you might like to go back to the garden again. It’s supposed to drop in temperature over the next few days, so it will be the last good day for it.”

“Sounds good,” Virgil said. “I don’t care what we do today though.”

“Well, there are a few options,” Logan said.

“What do you want to do?” Virgil asked.

Logan made an expression, and Virgil titled his head. “I’m don’t have anything in particular I want to do,” he said.

“You’re lying,” Virgil said immediately.

 “You would not be interested in the activity I wish to partake in,” Logan said.

Virgil squinted at him. “I’d be interested in laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling.”

Logan chuckled. “No, truly. The activity I would do if you were not present would involve reading.”

“You can read to me,” Virgil suggested.

“…In Sanskrit.”

Virgil frowned at him. “Isn’t that, like, some sort of dead language?”

“It is,” Logan said. “I taught myself to read it to read a specific book called the Pragilium Text. It’s an encoded book that leads to a magical location that I have been trying to decode for years.”

 “That’s fine,” Virgil said. “You can do that.”

“It would be in the library,” Logan said.

“Okay.”

“But…” Logan said. “It would in no way be interesting to you.”

Virgil shrugged. “Like I said. I’m content to lie on the floor for a few hours.”

Logan frowned. “I can’t make you do that.”

“You wouldn’t be making me,” Virgil said. “I want to go. Maybe you can find me an easy book I could try to read?”

“Are you certain?” he asked.

Virgil nodded, decisively.

“Very well, get dressed and I will show you the library.”

Virgil stood to do so and a few minutes later, Logan was leading him out of the royal wing.

 Both of the guards greeted him kindly, and Virgil hunched his shoulders in a bit, but said a soft “hi.”

The library didn’t end up being too far away. It was through the small dining hall and to the left where the staircase to the kitchen was to the right.

“This is not the main library,” Logan said. “It is just a smaller one. The royal librarian comes here only about once a week to organize. Some other castle residents might come in too, but it is usually mostly empty.” Virgil could tell just by listening for a few seconds that the place was likely empty (unless someone was lying in wait).

 “I’ll look and see if there is something simple for you in case you’d like to read. You can explore a bit if you’d like,” Logan said.

Virgil nodded and stalked off into the shelves to secure the area. There were many books, not that he could quite read any of the spines. The bookcases were mostly cramped into the space. There was the open area where they’d come in with a few comfy chairs and Virgil found a desk near one of the windows. It had stacks of books including one pretty large and old one. He looked at it curiously.

 Virgil heard Logan’s footsteps approach from down an aisle. “That’s the Pragilium text,” he said.

“It’s pretty,” Virgil said, looking at the design etched into the cover.

“Yes,” Logan agreed. He reached forward to touch it and opened it carefully. The print was small and didn’t look like the letters Logan had taught him so far. There was a small map on the side that Virgil could at least guess at the meaning of.

“You can read that?” Virgil asked.

“I can,” Logan said. “Very few people can though.”

“Wow, you’re really smart.”

“Thank you,” Logan said with a smile.

 “Now,” Logan continued. “I found you a book. I apologize as its subject matter is for younger children, but it has many pictures that can help give you context when you don’t know something. You don’t have to read it if you do not wish to, especially as we haven’t gotten very far in our lessons, but I thought you might like the challenge.

He handed him the book and Virgil took it with a smile. “I’ll try to read it,” he said.

“Well, you have free reign of the library. Feel free to continue to explore and to interrupt me if you need to.”

 Virgil nodded and took the book before deciding to finish his sweep of the library. It turned out that appearances were not deceiving, and the library truly was empty. Once he was certain about that, he looked around for a comfortable place to settle down and try to read the book Logan had handed him. He found a sturdy looking bookshelf near where Logan was reading at his desk. He scaled it quickly. It was a little bit dusty at the top, but it wasn’t a bad place. It was close to the ceiling and kept him hidden pretty well, but still gave him enough room to pop up onto his elbows. If he looked left, he could see Logan down bellow with his head in the book, but if he looked right, he could see the entrance to the library.

 He pulled the book in front of him and looked at the cover. It was covered in drawings of different colored flowers. One simple white flower was in the center and there were three words on the cover. He squinted at it and silently tried to sound it out based on what Logan had taught him so far. He could guess that the larger word was ‘flowers’ based on context. So, he was pretty sure it read How Flowers Grow.

He flipped open the book. Logan was right, there were many hand drawn beautiful pictures. He could pretty much understand what was happening just from them even if he couldn’t read all of the words.

 It was an interesting book even if he couldn’t read it and it was obviously made for small children. Judging by the pictures it seemed to be detailing how plants, or at least, flowers grew through some kid planting and caring for a flower over the course of some amount of time.

Virgil had, of course, known flowers grew from seeds, but it was interesting to see things about how the stem would pop out of the seed in the ground and things about the roots growing.

He more looked through the pictures than read it the first time but had flipped back to the front to try to read the words when he heard the library door open.

 Virgil perked up in awareness, but then settled when he recognized Patton’s footsteps. Virgil tilted his head to watch as he walk directly to Logan’s hideaway.

“Hi,” he said, gaining Logan’s attention.

“Hello, Patton,” Logan replied. He glanced at the window and must have seen that time had passed because he closed his book and shuffled his papers.

“The guards said you came here,” Patton said, glancing around. “Where’s Virgil?”

Instead of letting Logan answer that question, Virgil pulled himself forward, with the book in one hand and slid off the bookshelf to land lightly on his feet next to Patton.

Patton screamed before slapping a hand over his mouth.

 Logan had placed his hand over his heart. “Where on Earth did you come from?” he asked.

Virgil blinked at him and then pointed to the bookshelf he’d been on top of.

“How long were you up there?” Logan asked.

“Pretty much the whole time,” Virgil answered.

“I…” Logan said. “I didn’t even know.”

Virgil squinted at him. “You need to learn to look up.”

Patton giggled.

Virgil turned on him. “You need to learn to case the area.”

“Oh honey, your shirt is all covered in dust,” Patton said instead of responding to his very valid criticism. Virgil frowned. “Let’s get you changed and then go grab some lunch.”

“Lunch?” Virgil asked.

Patton chuckled and grabbed his hand. “Yes, sweetie, lunch. Then garden.”

“Fine,” Virgil said. “But you do need to learn to be more observant.

“Yes, yes, whatever you say,” Patton said.

Logan just rolled his eyes.

  Chapter 30

After lunch, Patton and Logan took Virgil out into the garden to walk around. They let Virgil lead them around wherever he wanted to in the garden. A bunch more flowers had died since the last time they’d been out here, and Patton felt sad despite having never felt very sad about that sort of thing before. But, Virgil seemed to really like the flower he’d found last time, so Patton thought he was probably sad on the boy’s behalf.

Of course, Patton thought, perking up, eventually it would be spring, and Virgil could get to not only see flowers but see all of the flowers grow. Patton couldn’t wait to see him amongst the garden then.

 Virgil took them wandering through the orchard for a while, but most of the trees had been stripped of their fruits. They ended up in the food garden after a bit, and Virgil finally seemed to decide on the direction instead of just ambling about.

A few seconds after Patton noticed Virgil seemingly decide on a destination, Patton noticed Mr. Deknis kneeling on the ground a few feet away. Had… had Virgil been looking for him? Patton wondered. That was adorable.

Mr. Deknis looked up as they approached and smiled at them.

“Hello, Mr. Deknis,” Patton said as they came closer.

 “Hello you three,” Mr. Deknis said. “Getting into trouble?”

“No,” Virgil said, shaking his head.

Mr. Deknis gave him a flash of a smile. “I know, I’m joking,” he said. “Especially since there isn’t much left in my gardens for certain princes to destroy with experiments.”

“Oh, okay,” Virgil said. He tilted his head. “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting the last of the acorn squash out,” Mr. Deknis replied. “It’s the last crop to get finished. Good thing too, it’s supposed to start snowing soon.”

Virgil looked down curiously at the dark green squash.

“Would you like to help me pick a couple?” Mr. Deknis asked.

 “Sure,” Virgil said, sounding interested. Mr. Deknis patted the ground beside him and Virgil knelt down to watch him.

“They’re not too difficult to harvest,” he said. “You just cut the fruit off the stem. You want to leave about a hand’s width of the stem left over which will help preserve moisture. The earlier harvests, I left in the field to cure in the sun for a couple weeks, but the frost’ll ruin them so we’ll take them inside the green house and let them sit in the sun for a bit there. We also want to keep the leaves. You’ll probably be eating those for dinner tonight since they have to be cooked up within about 24 hours after they’re picked. Patton’s mom makes a good side dish with them and she’ll be making some curry tomorrow, probably. Maybe some stew if there are some leftover.”

 “Put the squash in this wheelbarrow and the leaves into this pile, okay?” Virgil nodded and Mr. Deknis handed him the extra pair of gloves and shears he carried with him in case one set broke. “These might be a bit big on your, but they should work for now.”

Mr. Deknis looked up at Patton and Logan. “Would the two of you like to help?” he asked. “I can get some more equipment.”

“I can help out if you want, but you don’t need to stop and get more equipment just for me,” Patton said.

“The same for me,” Logan said.

“Well, if you’d like to help still, you can sort the leave. Give your mother a head start.”

 “Sure,” Patton said. He and Logan went to do that while Mr. Deknis and Virgil worked on cutting the squashes from the vine.

“What do you do during the winter?” Virgil asked curiously. “If this is your last crop.”

“Well, at the beginning, I mostly will be working on making sure things are stored correctly along with some of the kitchen staff. There’s some drying to do and some canning. After that’s done, I’ll spend some time organizing and planning. Then, before the spring comes, I’ll start preparing seedlings in the green house.”

“Seedlings?” he asked.

“I let seeds start to grow in the greenhouse that I replant once it gets warm enough.”

 “Why don’t you just plant them where they’re going?”

“I do for some,” he said, “but giving some a head start is good for them.”

Patton watched as Virgil continued to ask questions about gardening while working on harvesting the squash. Mr. Deknis continued to answer them in a calm, soft tone that Patton didn’t think he’d ever heard from the often gruff man before.

Patton wasn’t surprised when, after finishing getting most of the squash off of the vine, Mr. Deknis asked if Virgil wanted to help him with canning some pears in a couple of days. Virgil immediately looked over at Logan and Patton as though asking permission.

“Say yes if you want to Virgil,” Logan said.

 “Yes,” Virgil said as soon as he was given permission. Mr. Deknis smiled at him softly and started loading the last of the squash into the wheelbarrow. Patton offered to run the squash leaves to the kitchen while Logan and Virgil helped Mr. Deknis take the actual squash to the green house.

He dropped the leaves off to a kitchen worker since Mama was busy and headed back out to the garden. By the time he returned, Logan was already back from the green house and sitting by one of the more decorative trees near the castle.

“He’s exploring,” Logan said, nodding at the large patch of bushes.

 Patton chuckled. “I see.” He sat next to Logan. Every so often he’d hear the bushes rustle, but he couldn’t tell if it was actually Virgil or an animal.

“He’s adorable,” Patton commented, keeping an ear out.

Logan hummed.

“I’m glad we kept him.”

“He isn’t a pet, Patton.”

Patton rolled his eyes. “I know, but I’m still glad. I’m glad he’s making friends with Mr. Deknis. Once he knows how to read better, we should get him a book about gardening. He seems interested.”

Logan nodded. “Having a hobby would be good for him. Clearly he has a fascination with the garden.” He nodded to the blur of dark hair that could be seen through the bushes. It seemed Virgil had stopped his exploration and was now laying down in the bushes a few feet away.

 “I’m going to go see what he’s doing,” Patton said. “I’ll be right back.”

Logan nodded and Patton got to his feet. The bushes were part of a small maze that was filled with flowers during the spring and summer months but were mostly just green and brown bushes for now. Despite the fact that Patton had been able to see him only a few feet away, it took him a while to wind through the path to where he was. When he finally turned the last corner and he came into view, Patton gasped softly.

“Ghost kitty!” he said, making sure to make his voice as quiet as possible.

 Despite how soft he made his voice, two pairs of eyes shot over to him. The completely black kitten was perched on Virgil’s lap like she belonged there. Ghost Kitty hissed slightly, but Virgil reached forward to pet her head gently.

“This is Ghost Kitty?” Virgil asked. “I thought you said she was hard to pet.”

“She is,” Patton said. He lowered himself onto the ground from a few feet away from them. “How did you get her to come to you?”

Virgil glanced down at the cat and shrugged, scratching one of her ears. “She just came over to me and let me pet her.”

 “Wow,” Patton said softly. He looked at the cat. “Could I pet you sweetie?” he asked, holding out a hand in her direction. She hissed again.

Virgil frowned down at her. “It’s Patton,” he said as though he expected to understand his words and the exasperation in the tone he said them in.

He pet the cat’s head to soothe her and then reached over to grab Patton’s hand. He pulled and Patton carefully leaned a bit closer until his hand was within sniffing distance. Ghost Kitty sniffed his fingers contemplatively and then bumped her head against it. He barely restrained a squeal, knowing that probably wouldn’t be taken well.

 He carefully turned his hand over so he could stroke the top of her head. He gently scratched her ear, not daring to go for under her chin yet since she didn’t know him well. “Hi,” he said softly. After a moment, she started to purr softly. Virgil reached over and scratched under her chin and she purred louder. “Oh, you’re a good girl,” Patton breathed, letting a hand trail gently down her back once and then again. Patton settled himself carefully into a seating position continuing to pet her. After a few more moments of soft petting, she hesitantly stepped her front paws onto Patton’s thigh so she was sitting in both of their laps. Patton laughed softly. “Hi sweetie.” He glanced over at Virgil who had a wide smile on his face as he pet the cat. This. This was adorable. They continued to pet the cat for a very long time.

  Chapter 31

Logan waited for a while after Patton left to check on Virgil, but the two never resurfaced. It was odd, Patton would usually remember to come back and get Logan or at least tell them where they were. With a sigh, Logan climbed to his feet to go find them. It took him a while to weave his way through the maze of bushes to them especially because they were suspiciously quiet (Well, suspicious for Patton. Virgil was often unnervingly quiet when alone.) Luckily, he knew the bushes enough after all of these years not to get lost and managed to find the two after a few minutes.

“Ah,” he said, immediately identifying the reason for Patton disappearing.

 “Logan!” Patton said, his voice excited, but also quieter than normal. “We found a kitty!”

“I can see that,” Logan responded, taking a step closer. The cat hissed at him in response. The hissing was so intense and wild that he’d suspect the thing was feral if it wasn’t happily on Virgil’s lap having had it’s head in Patton’s lap before Logan had approached.

“No,” Virgil told the animal as though it could understand words. “That’s Logan. Be nice.”

The cat still glared at him and swished it’s tail back and forth threateningly. Virgil pet the top of it’s head and it broke eye contact with Logan to purr.

 Patton seemed delighted by the purring, reaching to stroke under the thing’s chin carefully. “We should give her a name!” Patton said.

Virgil frowned. “I thought her name was Ghost Kitty.”

“That is ‘Ghost Kitty’?” Logan asked skeptically. From what Patton had said about that cat, it was terrified of people and no one could ever get near it, even him. Now it was in Virgil’s lap?

“But that was a temporary name,” Patton said, “for before we officially met her. Now we have to give her a real name.”

“Do not give it a name,” Logan said. “You will get attached.”

 “How do you name a cat?” Virgil asked.

“Do not name it,” Logan said.

“You give them names based on their personalities, how they look, or even just because it’s a cute name,” Patton explained. “Like, remember Mittens? I named her Mittens because she has white fur and black paws!”

Virgil looked at the cat. “She’s completely black,” he said.

Patton hummed. “So, we could give her a name based on that like Midnight or Shadow.”

“Those are fine,” Virgil said.

“No, no,” Patton said. “I’m just giving you examples. You get to name her yourself.”

“This is a bad idea,” Logan said.

 “Just throw out some names,” Patton said. “Anything you can think of.”

“Uh,” Virgil said. “Knife.”

“…Just Knife?” Patton asked.

“Nightmare.” Virgil seemed to think about it. “No, that’s mean.”

“How about things you like?” Patton suggested.

“Alfredo?”

Oh no, Logan thought, he was worse than Patton at cat naming.

“Good start,” Patton said. “Logan, do you have any suggestions.”

“Cat,” Logan said.

“Real suggestions,” Patton scolded.

Logan sighed and thought for a moment. “Aphrodite.”

“Catphrodite!”

Logan glared at him. “Helena.”

“Helenpaw.”

“Claudia.”

“Clawdia.”

“Persephone.”

Patton smiled at him, cheerfully.

“…Damnit!”

Patton turned to Virgil again. “Like that! They don’t even have to be serious. Like, uh, you could name her Madam Fluffywuffykins the Great!”

“Do not name her that,” Logan said, scrunching up his nose.

 Logan sat on the ground, the cat eyeing him, but no longer hissing. Logan gently guided them towards more sensible names despite Patton trying his hardest to drag them into stupidity.

Virgil still didn’t quite get it. He mostly tried to name it after foodstuff, and often not even appropriate foodstuff such as “Corn” and “Acorn Squash” and “Sandwich” and occasionally would drop in semi violent ones such as “Razor,” “Nightshade” and “Void.” Patton suggested names like “Fluffers,” “Bobette” and “Darling” as well as some that were puns. Logan tried to direct them towards more sensible ones like “Salem” and even went so low as to suggest the contrary “Snowball.”

 It quickly seemed to become less about actually naming the cat and more of a game. Patton had taught Virgil about playing with cats and had even gotten out a ball of yarn he cared around for his crafts. Both Virgil and the cat seemed to find endless entertainment with that. Logan hoped Patton had another ball of yarn that color because, he was never going to get that ball back.

The barrage of names fizzled out into naming things around them like “Leaf” and “Bush” until they stopped suggesting names altogether. Patton and Logan sat back and watched Virgil play with the cat.

 Logan watched as they stopped playing suddenly and Virgil and the cat squinted at each other. “Marisol,” Virgil said, pulling the name out of nowhere. “That’s her name.” He said it with a certainty that was surprising considering how he’d treated the naming process with confusion and caution earlier. If Logan did not know better, his tone of voice would indicate that the cat, or Marisol he guessed, had gotten bored of them coming up with stupid names and decided to tell him her actual name herself.

The cat made a sound and batted at Virgil’s face without claws to grab back his attention.

 He turned back to it and bopped its face with a finger in kind. It attacked his finger, but in a clearly playful matter as it still did not extend it’s claws and its teeth did not draw blood.

“That’s a great name, Virgil,” Patton said.

“Much more pleasant than any that Patton suggested all afternoon,” Logan said. He received an elbow to the side for his quip.

“A pretty name for a pretty kitty,” Patton said, scooting over to where Virgil was sat and attempting to pet Marisol’s head. Marisol, however, was too keyed up and batted at the hand.

 “I love you too!” Patton said.

Logan rolled his eyes, but he had long since resigned himself to watching the two of them play with and coo over the cat for the rest of the day.

Eventually, though, it started to get darker. Even after Logan pointed this out, it still took over an hour for them to relent and leave the bush maze to go to the door. The problem was of course, that the cat had managed to grow very attached to Virgil in the last few hours and she followed them all the way to the door with manipulatively heart breaking mews.

 “You’ve got to stay out here,” Virgil said, when they got to the castle door. He pet her ear softly and she shoved her head into his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t have anywhere to put you.” He sounded horribly sad about that fact and Logan felt himself shift uncomfortably. “I basically live in a closet and Logan doesn���t like cats in his room anyway.”

Logan immediately felt unreasonably guilty, probably more so because Logan did not think Virgil was trying to make him feel guilty. “…Bring the dammed thing inside.”

Virgil blinked up at him. “What?”

“It will get cold soon anyway,” Logan said.

He frowned at Logan from where he was crouched. “But you don’t like fur in your room…”

“I will have to find a potion that works,” he said with a sigh, “and we’ll have to say it’s mine to the guards and Father since it will be staying in my room, but it is yours in every other way. That means you are going to feed it, clean it, and clean up after it.”

Virgil nodded immediately and swooped Marisol up in his arms. The cat went without complaint. “Thank you!” he said. “I love her.”

“I know you do,” Logan said, already regretting it already. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to even consider recanting the offer considering how happy Virgil seemed to be. They had a cat now, he guessed.

  Chapter 32

“What are you doing?” Helen asked a few minutes after her son walked into the kitchen and started looking around as though he were trying to find something. It was a few hours into the afternoon, and she and a few workers were already prepping for dinner.

“Uh,” Patton said. “Have you seen Virgil?”

“No,” Helen said. “Why.”

“Er… Logan and I sorta, lost him,” Patton said. He was wringing his hands anxiously. Helen put down the knife in her hand.

“What do you mean you lost him?” she asked.

“Well, see, we were trying to teach him how to play hide and seek, um, but then we didn’t think to tell him that he eventually had to come out if we didn’t find him, and now we haven’t seen him since breakfast.”

 “He didn’t know what tag is?” she asked. That was just one more thing to add to the list of why Helen worried about Virgil and where he came from. Every morsel of information she’d managed to wring from Patton despite his evasions made her lists of concerns grow larger, even little things like him not knowing about simple childhood games. Actually, thinking of concerning things having to do with Virgil. “Wait, so he hasn’t eaten lunch.”

“Um, we don’t know that,” Patton’s mouth said while his eyes said ‘no.’

“He needs to be on a consistent diet, especially when he’s still taking the malnutrition potion,” she scolded.

 “I know, Mama, I know,” Patton said. “I’m trying to find him. I’d kinda hoped he’d gotten hungry and snuck down here. He probably wouldn’t want to risk being caught stealing food though.”

Helen grimaced. Yet another concerning thing.

“Wait! I have an idea, I’ll be right back.” Patton turned and ran out of the room. Helen frowned at the space he’d been and finished chopping the carrot on the cutting board in front of her. If it had been any other person in the castle missing, Helen wouldn’t have worried, but she had literally never seen Virgil without Patton and/or Logan by his side. Even when he’d gone to help Jeff can some fruit, Logan had reportedly hung around to read a book.

 Considering that Logan had never exactly been clingy even with Patton, she imagined that either Virgil asked, or Logan thought he should stay with him for his comfort. So, she was surprised that he was apparently hidden away somewhere in the castle where neither of the other kids could find him.

Still thinking about this, she walked over to the entrance to the cellar below the kitchen where they stored most of the vegetables, planning to grab some more carrots. She was confused for a moment when she heard movement from deeper in the pantry. She reached over and touched the panel near the door that controlled the magic lights.

48468

The newly illuminated figure startled as the lights came on, whipping around to stare at her with wide eyes.

“Virgil?” she asked.

“Sorry,” he said immediately, taking a step back.

“It’s fine,” she said immediately, “but what are you doing here?”

He considered her for a long moment, but apparently, she passed some sort of mental test, because he relaxed, at least as much as he’d ever relaxed in her presence. “Where are we?” he asked.

Her brow knit together. “The cellar under the kitchen,” she said, “You don’t know that?”

He shook his head.

“The only entrance is from the kitchen.” Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen him go through the kitchen at any point.

48588

“No, it’s not,” Virgil said. “There’s a tunnel.”

“A-a tunnel?” she asked. Actually, taking a closer look at him, he seemed a bit grimy. He had dust all over his front and dirt on his nose. She thought he might even have a couple of cobwebs in his hair.

“Yep,” he said.

“Where’s the tunnel?” she asked.

“It’s right over here,” he said. He took a couple of steps and pointed to the ground. There was an open square hole there that clearly had been made a long time ago but which she had never noticed in all of her time working here.

[scandalousfemale]

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Kelce x Reader, Topper x Reader

“It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you,” the male protagonist in the movie told the female lead. You wanted to throw your laptop on the floor as you laughed, “ha!” As if he can hear you, “what a fool.” As if you can save him.

WC: 12,034

Warnings: Cursing, drinking, CHEATING, slight smut if you squint, hint at a fight (so blood), vomiting, this is a cheating/break up fic., it’s angst

A/N: I’ve been working on this fic for almost a month now and I’m so glad that I’m finally getting this to you all. Thank you for being patient. A special thank you to @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @millyelliot and @rafecameron for listening to me talk about this almost every single day for that long and every single thanks to Chloe, @rafecameron for helping me edit this document 22 pages document. You are a blessing. Without further ado, please, enjoy.

Heartbreak is something you’ve become very accustomed to these past three months. It all started when Kelce, your boyfriend of seven years, had started coming home later than usual. Which, to be fair, you didn’t think much of at first because there are endless possibilities for why he was late for dinners that he had never missed before. Maybe he was talking with his coworkers after work, you offered, or maybe he had extra work to do. Though there were feelings of speculation in the pit of your stomach when he’d come home and not even look at you before rushing into the shower. That was also new. Yet you made excuses for him then, too. Actually, forcing yourself to be grateful that maybe he wanted to clean himself up for you. Even though your armor was cracking, you believed yourself every time.

One morning though, he was in such a rush to leave to work that he had forgotten his phone at home. Being the good fiancée that you were, you had decided that maybe this rut that you’ve hit in this relationship was somehow your fault. You had begun doing a lot less for him so you couldn’t fully put the blame on him, you thought. One of the things you never did anymore was pack his lunch. So, since you’re dropping off his cellphone anyway, you’ve decided that you were going to pack him up lunch and made your way to your father’s company to maybe give Kelce a little of your own company.

On the way to the office, his phone started beeping, signaling the arrival of new messages. You will yourself not to look at them because that’s not you. You had never had to snoop into his private belongings before. You’d also never, ever checked his phone. But...just once maybe it wouldn’t hurt. It could’ve been something important to do with his family that maybe you’d be able to help if you got to the messages first. Yes, that’s exactly it. When you arrived at the parking lot of his workplace, you’d already talked yourself into opening the messages.

Olive Garden (4)

The screen read and your nerves washed away. He must’ve ordered lunch already since you didn’t call the office to tell him that you were coming. This is what you get for trying to surprise him, you thought, with a little laugh. Well, maybe actually you can meet up with the delivery guy and pay for his lunch, that would also be a nice thing to do. When your fingers slide on the screen to reveal the messages, you felt your breath leave your entire body. You didn’t know how long you were staring at the picture or the text, you didn’t even know when you started breathing again.

There were three pictures, they were all of the same girl. In one of them, she was standing in front of a floor to ceiling window, posing in front of it so you could only see her silhouette. The second, she was on her bed with lingerie on and her legs spread. The third, the third made you almost lose your mind— if you could even get it to come back from the shock. It was a picture of her topless in bed with Kelce’s smiling face behind her as his arms wrapped around her chest.

The text saying: This meeting suxx. I miss you, I can’t wait for this weekend xxx

You don’t remember the last time Kelce smiled that big at you. Hell, you don’t remember the last time he even wrapped his arms around you in bed. Oh, wait, no, you did, because it was just three nights ago when he told you that he loved you and that nothing was going to change how he felt. You practically had a meltdown and confronted him about not coming home on time and how he never made time for you anymore so he made sure to be home on time that night and you remember how he held your face and cuddled you after sex, telling you how he couldn’t wait to marry you.

You thought of everything at once, even though you thought of yourself last. Without even processing that you’re sat in front of his office where this woman was sending your fiancé raunchy messages, you thought about how you hoped that your father wouldn’t find out. How horrible this would look for you if your family friends were to catch wind of this. You didn’t even want to imagine your mother’s face when she finds out and she’ll tell you that she had told you so from the very beginning. That 20 was far too young to be engaged, too young to know what you wanted but you were so sure. You were so sure that you wanted Kelce and he wanted you back just as much...just not as much.

The next couple of minutes felt like a movie, where the person was drunk and the camera shot was right under their face, everything was blurry and in slow motion. You might’ve said hi to the security guard on the first floor and maybe you greeted the receptionist on the office level but your head didn’t snap back to reality until you saw Kelce in his office with that girl. Olive Garden. Pathetic, you thought to yourself. She was leaning over his arm, her tits practically in his face as if she couldn’t even act like she was showing him something on a graph instead of trying to tease him.

You forced your feet to walk into the office casually, or what you thought was casual. You could’ve burst in the office looking like a madwoman for all you knew. Once you were there, you cleared your throat, causing Kelce to jump back, flushed against his seat, and the girl to stand up straighter. The look in his eyes was wild for a split second before he composed himself again in front of you. As if you didn’t know him well enough and spend enough time with him to know when he was uncomfortable or how he would brush the palm of his hands against his shirt when he was caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. You walked over to his desk with a fake smile on your lips as you set the meal and his phone on his graph.

“Wha—what is this?” He stuttered as he brushed the palm of his hands against the front of his shirt. You tilted your head at him and looked to the girl beside him.

“You left your phone at home,” you began and you saw the very moment when realization had hit the girl in front of you. An assistant, you were sure, because you knew every single person in your father’s company. How could you not? You were in charge of overseeing payroll. Her face though, you did not recognize, which definitely meant she had just been hired recently. Eyes, coming back to your fiancé, you shrugged, “I thought I’d bring it over and also make some lunch for you. It’s not Olive Garden or anything but it’ll do.”

You only stayed long enough for Kelce’s eyes to go wide as he grasped what you were saying before you gave a curt smile and walked out of his office. Did you walk or rush out of the building? Why were your hands shaking so much? God, you were reacting to this as if you were going to— and then you did. You vomited all over the bushes in front of the building. Somehow convincing your stomach not to embarrass you any further, you pulled out a small napkin from your bag and wiped your mouth before dropping the tissue in the trash and making your way back to the car.

You must not embarrass your family, your mother’s voice rang in your ears, keep personal affairs personal; no one else should be around if you’re going to disagree. Maybe this was an exception though because you weren’t disagreeing. He did the unimaginable to you and you have every right to be upset, so why is your head-turning against you? At this point, you didn’t even believe your eyes anymore. Maybe she had meant to send those pictures to a different person, you bargained with yourself. That does leave the mystery of the picture of his arm around her though…but maybe it’s photoshopped. It could’ve just been a sick and unprofessional joke that they play at the office and that’s why she clamped up when you mentioned having his phone. Then again, that doesn’t explain why her name was changed in his phone contacts. 

With your mind going a hundred miles per second, you almost didn’t hear the sound of hurried footsteps from the entrance of the building getting closer. As you reached your car door, a hand came from beside your head and slammed the door back shut. Without turning around, you knew who it was. His scent from the cologne that you bought him, lingered in the still air between the two of you. Kelce had you trapped between the door and himself, both of his arms on either side of your head. You didn’t want to turn around. You couldn’t face him right now without having a complete and utter meltdown but he wasn’t giving you a choice. You could feel his breath on your shoulder and the back of your neck as he leaned into your body, dropping small kisses as he whispered how much he loves you. His hands dropped to your waist, circling them around you as he hugged you, your back flushed against his front and it dulls the searing pain spreading around your heart.

“I love you. Thank you for lunch,” his words jumbled together as if he couldn’t decide which line he wanted to use first. 

“Okay,” you said, as the words burned your throat on the way out. It meant a lot more to you than he could’ve known. It meant, okay, I’m going to forget about this. Okay, I love you. Okay, please don’t go back in there with her. But you didn’t utter a single word other than just…okay. You allowed Kelce to turn you around in his arms and kiss your forehead before saying he had to get back to work and that he’d see you at home. You weren’t known for causing a scene in a public place and neither was Kelce, so maybe that meant that you’d talk about this at home. Or maybe there was nothing to discuss when it came to the photos so he actually meant he’d just ‘see you at home’. So, if that’s the case, why did the picture of Kelce smiling wide behind his girl bother you so much? His girl. You wanted to scream.

The drive was long and before you even realized where you were going, you found yourself at Topper’s house. It’s kind of a sad story but because you’ve been with Kelce for so long and he’d always only hung out with his friends, they’ve kind of just become yours too. Meaning you didn’t have a lot of girlfriends or friends of your own. Though you are sure that Rafe and Topper love you equally, as you do them, you found Topper a little less intense and easier to talk to.

After knocking on his door, you found yourself feeling a little silly. You didn’t even call to see if he was home and what if he wasn’t? Would you cry to his mom instead? Would you even cry? You felt like you almost couldn’t breathe, standing there waiting for him. The shortness of your breath had now turned into you sobbing as you grabbed onto your chest, willing your heart to please stop hurting. The door had opened and you were so embarrassed to even be seen like this that you curled up with your knees on the ground, hugging your arms around your stomach as your head bowed to try and hide your face.

Strong arms quickly wrapped around you, pushing your hair back from your tear-stained face. You know this wasn’t a pretty cry, you probably had snot running down your nose and saliva coming down your mouth but you couldn’t help it. It felt like the ultimate betrayal. As if you spent years building this beautiful sandcastle and right as you’re about to present it to a judge, someone on your team had come around and knocked it down until it was just particles of sand again. The image of what it once was is the only thing you’re left within your mind. 

Calm down, you tried to tell yourself but the blurred vision of the worried blonde didn’t help either. After trying to talk to you and getting no responses because honestly, you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own hiccups, he carried you into his house, across the hall into his room, and took off your shoes before sitting you on his bed. His arms still around you until your sobs turned into sniffles.

“Please tell me what I can do to fix it or who I can hurt back,” Topper almost whispered as he placed his chin on your head, basically cradling you. Your response was just a shake of your head because he couldn’t fix it. Not unless he could go back in time and change what Kelce had done to her, and another thought had popped into your head, you didn’t want anyone else to stop Kelce but Kelce himself. You had wanted him to love you enough to not get in bed with her.

“Do I need to call Kelce?” He offered and though you know that Topper knows nothing of the situation, your body still tensed and you found yourself moving away from his lap, scooting up next to the headboard as you brought your knees in against your chest and shook your head.

Your puffy red eyes and tears stained face was enough for him to shoot a quick text for Rafe to come over instead. At this point, Topper thought the worst and he wasn’t sure he was ready to hear it but he had to ask.

“Did Kelce hurt you?”

You nodded because he did but you were coherent enough to process the words and hear an intake of Topper’s breath to look up at him and shook your head.

“Not physically,” you quickly corrected, “but I think he’s cheating on me,” you whimpered, trying not to fall apart again. You didn’t want to tell him that you were sure because technically you weren’t, you didn’t trust your eyes but a part of you knew that it was true. That was the part that was putting together all the pieces in your puzzle for the past couple of months, filling in the empty spaces where Kelce was supposed to be with that damn photo. Topper didn’t react at first, then almost looked uncomfortable as he shifted his body from the end of the bed so that he could take a look at you.

“How do you know for sure?”

And so, you told him. You told him about how Kelce was acting weird for the past couple of months and how you couldn’t place it. You told him about the texts, the pictures, and what you saw in the office. You sobbed on Topper’s bed until the tears had dried on your face and you felt like there was nothing left to give. In the midst of all your sobbing, you had somehow tangled yourself up with him. Your body was against his as he rubbed circles on your hips until you fell asleep.

Falling asleep on Topper’s bed wasn’t something that usually happened. Actually, it was never something that happened because Mrs. Thornton would’ve killed you if she saw it happened.

“A lady should never be caught lounging nor in a questionable scenario, you’d do well to remember that,” she scolded once when she caught you hanging out with the boys in her backyard with your legs draped across Kelce’s knees.

Oh, Kelce, the familiar squeeze around your heart appeared again. You felt so pathetic as you pushed the blanket off of you and planted your feet against the floor.

You shuffled your way to the kitchen, noticing that the sun had gone down so you must’ve slept the day away. You saw the fire flicker by the glass doors to the backyard and saw Topper and Rafe talking to each other, holding on to their beers loosely around the bottlenecks. You took a deep breath in and pushed open the door, the boys immediately stopped whispering to each other as you walked towards them.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Rafe said, eyeing you as you walked over to them. The way that they both tensed up, gave you the answer to a question you’ve yet to ask.

“How long have you known?” you asked as you sat down on the outdoor sofa across from them, tucking your legs underneath you. You haven’t felt this small, this insignificant in a while.

You watched as the boys spluttered, Topper in a coughing fit from swallowing the beer down the wrong way. They looked to each other as color rushed to both of their cheeks and honestly, you would’ve found it funny if it was any other situation but you could see their lies forming and you hated it.

“Please, just tell me. We’ve known each other since we were ten, I know when you’re lying, please. Don’t make me beg you,” your voice hoarse from crying before, and having just woken up is making it sound even worse.

Rafe sighed as he looked at Topper and then back at you, “Listen, I--,” he was cut off by a booming voice you’re way too familiar with.

Kelce’s voice was shouting your name from the front door but you knew he was making his way to the back since his cussing and mumbling became more audible. This made both boys shut up and you knew that your chance to hear their side of the story was over for tonight. You moved in your seat to bring your knees up to your chest, resting your chin at the top of your knees as you kept your eyes on the fire in front of you even as a body moved to block your view.

“You’re too good to answer your phone now?” Kelce asked. The anger in his voice is apparent, “do you know what time it is? I’ve been at home worried sick and you’ve just been here? You couldn’t send a text?” he bombarded you with questions and though you know his concern is valid and that he just cares, all you could do was shrug because you knew the moment you opened your mouth, nothing good was going to come out.

“Come on, man,” Topper tried to butt in but stopped when it fell on deaf ears. Kelce had knelt down in front of you, making eye contact as he reached out to grab your hands that were wrapped around your legs.

“I was worried,” Kelce began but then he looked behind him and asked if the other boys could give you two some space, in which Rafe impolitely declined.

“Must be hard, huh?” You finally spoke, “to be home alone and not know where I was or who I was with…just waiting for a phone call or a text,” you couldn’t help the anger that bubbled inside of you and though you didn’t actually mean to do it, you were glad that Kelce got a taste of his own medicine.

“Is that what this is? You’re teaching me a lesson?” Kelce asked but his voice stayed soft, his thumbs making circles on your hands and you were so angry. You were so angry that he betrayed you and even worse because looking at him now, knowing that he understands you, that he loves you—yeah, that hurt.

“I shouldn’t have to teach you how to be a good fiance, Kelce. I shouldn’t have to teach you how to be considerate to me,” you said, physically and mentally exhausted.

“Hey man,” Rafe came around to put his hand on Kelce’s shoulder, “how about you stay with us tonight? Topper can take her back to your guys’ apartment.”

Without even looking back to the boy standing next to him, Kelce kept his voice low and his eyes and hands on you, “You want that, baby? You want me to stay away from you for tonight? We haven’t gone to bed angry at each other for seven years, baby. You want that?” and even as your heart broke even more because it was true, you nodded. You needed the space and you knew it was because the moment Kelce got you alone, you’d forgive him. You’d crawl back to him and ask him how you could be better for him, even if you knew that it wasn’t really your fault, you’d ask him how you could be more like her. 

Topper offered to stay on the sofa at your apartment and you allowed him to, only because you knew if you didn’t, Rafe would come knocking at your door demanding that he’d stay here instead, all the while not giving anything up to you about Kelce and his other girls.

You took a brisk shower before pulling on your pajamas and then numbly staring at your bedroom. You couldn’t help it but you started checking drawers in the nightstands and the dresser. You checked his jacket pockets and his sacred little organizer with all different kinds of numbers on here, some written fast with tacky lipstick kisses on the napkins and others were business cards. Your heart was pounding in your chest when you reached into his shoes and felt something in there. You pulled out two photobooth strips and if you had it in you, you’d cry again. Unfolding the strips, it was Kelce and that girl from his job. The pictures were taken at the carnival that comes to town once every year and these two pictures looked like they must’ve been a couple of years apart. One of them, Kelce was wearing the gold chain necklace that you got him for his 17th birthday and the second photo set looked like it was taken last year. So, if your calculations were correct, he’s been seeing this girl for almost three to four years.

People usually said that they blackout when they destroy rooms and furniture, but you? You were hyper-aware of pulling Kelce’s jackets that cost hundreds if not thousands of dollars and dumping them in the bathroom as you poured a toilet cleanser all over them. No, you were definitely aware when you opened the window to your bedroom and threw out his shoes. Maybe you blacked out when you tried to put his collection of million-dollar watches down the kitchen disposal but that’s honestly just because you forgot that Topper was staying over. You didn’t even want to know what it looked like to him coming out of the guest bathroom to the noise of a watch in the sink disposal, others lined up to take its place. As you reared around the corner of the kitchen and beelined to the living room before you jumped on Kelce’s game console. 

“Stop!” Topper ran towards you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you up, over his shoulder as you scratched and screamed in an attempt to escape and destroy everything that belonged to Kelce. He dragged you with him to go turn off the disposal but he didn’t attempt to pull the watch out. Topper dropped you on the sofa and grabbed your face in his hands, “stop! Please, stop. Do you think this is going to hurt him? Do you think he’ll care? He has the money to replace all of this.” Topper tried to put sense into your head but you couldn’t see anything that made sense. Your whole life, this man you were supposed to marry and have children with, was nothing true? Pushing the photo strips that you still clutched in your palm against Topper’s chest you grit through your teeth, “how long?”

Topper shook his head and sighed, sitting on the floor in front of you, “Rafe and I only found out this week, we’ve been trying to find a way to tell you, I promise. I just—I didn’t know if it was my place and Kelce said he’d tell you first, he said it just began but then he said it’s been a while. I’m sorry,”

“Get out, Topper.”

“No.”

“Get out. I can’t deal with this, everyone around me is a liar,” you began crying again.

“I love you. I’d do anything for you but right now I’m not leaving you alone,” and he didn’t. No matter how much you cried against his arm and felt like you were self-destructing, all Topper did was hold you to him and apologize. He apologized for everyone even if it wasn’t his place.

The morning after felt eerily calm, probably because you knew that the storm hadn't hit. You’ve yet to have a conversation with Kelce since you’ve found the pictures last night and basically destroyed everything he owned. He’s texted you about five times though, reminding you that he loves you and how he hoped you slept well. You didn’t. Then again, you haven’t slept well for a while. Topper had untangled his arms from you sometime last night and you both just laid on the floor of your living room, staring at the ceiling until you dozed off for a couple of minutes.

Sitting up and looking around your apartment with fresh eyes, you cringed at the sight. Mostly because you knew that you had to clean up the mess and secondly because you knew that Kelce was on his way home this morning to change for work and you had doused his suits with a toilet cleanser. As if the devil was listening to your every thought, your phone beeped with a message from Kelce that he was doing just that and that you both had plenty to talk about. 

The picture of Kelce and the other girl was found on the floor next to the kitchen and you tried to walk by it as you went to grab a cup of water but you couldn’t. There’s just something so hypnotic about his smile, his almost laugh. Though through the years he has changed, in those two pictures, his smile hasn’t. You held the pictures in your hand as your engagement ring mockingly shines from the sunlight peeking through the balcony. Topper had gotten up and nodded his head at you before he made his way into the bathroom and then to the kitchen to shove a piece of bread into his mouth before chugging a glass of orange juice.

“I need to eat something before I deal with today’s bullshit,” he had explained and when the door handle turned, you wish that you had done the same thing.

You were sitting on the sofa against the wall of the living room, perfectly in line with the front door, and Topper is in the chair next to you, with his forearms on his knees as if he was already over whatever was going to happen.

Kelce walked through the doors with a dozen roses and a red gift-wrapped box in one hand and you want to feel guilty. You almost did, until you looked down at your palm to the pictures you were holding and all you felt was rage and pain.

“What did you?!” Kelce’s voice shouted from the apartment door as he looked at the mess in front of him.  His eyes were trained on the gaming system at the bottom of the TV, clearly damaged. He walked with a purpose to the console but then stopped as he was passing the kitchen. You know he saw the watches and with a deep inhale, his eyes squeezed shut and his hands ball up into fists. You can see Topper put his shaking head in his hands, preparing for the worst, you bet. Kelce exhaled, his feet taking him to his million-dollar collection, sticking his hand down the sink and pulling out a watch you got him for Christmas four years ago. You couldn’t see the damage but the look on his face annoyed you. He looked pissed that his precious gift was ruined, he had thrown (what you assumed) was your flowers and gift on the floor as he looked around the living room and the kitchen for more damages. You could tell that he was angry but so were you. You looked down at the pictures in your hands again.

“What did you do,” he came charging at you and you couldn’t help jumping up to your feet, not noticing Topper follow suit.

“Me? What did you do?” You yelled back, your voice scratching your throat. “You did this to us!” You pushed against his chest and you kept pushing him until you were lifted and pulled away. You threw the picture at his face, “three years, mother fucker? You wasted three years of my life, of me being in love with you and for what?”

Kelce grit his teeth, his eyes lingered on Topper’s arms as he held you back but all you knew is that Topper was holding you together. Keeping you from falling apart again.

“I was going to tell you but why the fuck am I explaining myself to you? What did you two do here last night?” He accused and you knew that this was a deflection tactic but it didn’t help the fact that you wanted to scratch his eyes out for insinuating that you’d sleep with Topper.

“Listen, man, don’t even go there,” you felt Topper’s chest vibrate with his voice.

“Oh, so you speak for her now?” Kelce took a step forward and maybe he meant to be threatening but you’ve seen these boys go toe to toe countless times before. Before you choked on the testosterone building in the atmosphere, you moved between them. Placing your hand against both their chest and it would be a lie if you said that touching Kelce’s chest didn’t erupt pain and longing within yours.

“He was here last night to make sure I didn’t burn this place down and trust me, I would’ve. I should’ve burned everything I’ve ever given you, everything that belongs to you,” you said and you intended it to come out maybe a bit calmer than the harsh tone that it was laced with. Kelce reached up to grab your hand and press it harder against his chest, right over his heart. You felt his heart beating underneath your palm and you remember the nights you’d fall asleep listening to that. You saw his eyes leave yours and to your other hand that was still on Topper’s chest, too, and you could’ve sworn Kelce snarled.

“You can’t burn your virginity, I took that. And as far as I’m concerned, you’re still mine,” Kelce spoke and you yanked your hand back as if he’d electrocuted you. That was not the Kelce you knew. He would have never spoken to you like that. Fully facing him now, you folded your arms across your chest, feeling Topper’s hand lingering on your back, as if he’s ready to pull you back if you lunged at your cheating ex-boyfriend again.

“Like. Hell.” You grit through your teeth. There was a time where you would’ve wanted to die than to be without Kelce and now you couldn’t even picture the two of you together again. Okay, no, you could but you cannot see yourself forgiving him any time soon.

“We’re getting married. The wedding date is set,” he reminded you and with that, Topper did step away. He mumbled something about getting your stuff as he disappeared into your bedroom and if you were thinking, you’d warn him about the mess he’d be walking into but you couldn’t take your eyes off of the cold brown ones staring at you. It was unfair how much you loved Kelce and how you’d probably take him back if he had gotten down on his knees in front of you and begged for you back, but he wasn’t even doing that. He stood upright, his hands at his sides. His eyes were not sorry.

“Are you crazy? The wedding is canceled. The wedding was over the minute I found out. The second you cheated-,” you couldn’t even believe what he was saying, what you were saying. It was getting harder to think because, with every step back, he took a step forward, unconsciously playing a game of cat and mouse.

“Y/n, the wedding will seal the deal with your father, okay. I need this,” his tone low and desperate.

Then it clicked. Of course. Your father owned a couple of casinos down the east coast and all the way to Vegas. It was a running joke that he looked at Kelce like his own son and once you two were married, he’d sign a couple off to him. Of course, the joke turned into a serious discussion once Kelce’s father’s business got hit hard by the stock market crash. His family had changed a bit after that, they made budget cuts that Kelce was too embarrassed to tell his precious little friends about but had no problem throwing it in your face when he needed you to cover payment on his car or the apartment. You didn’t mind, of course, you knew he’d get back up on his feet again. You would’ve spent every last dime on him without him even asking.

With a staggering step back, you brought your hand to your chest because you swore that you could catch the shattering pieces in your hands. “So, it was a marriage of convenience,” you said, almost to yourself. In which Kelce’s eyes widened in response, trying to shove the words back into his mouth and you couldn’t tell if it was because he had said too much or he had worded his phrase incorrectly. Either way, the words were there, laying between the two of you. Both of whom didn’t really know what to do with it.

“You know I love you,” Kelce’s voice tried breaking down the walls that you were quickly building up and it was like you could see the bricks shutting him out. The words in the present tense did not escape you but neither did the fact that he had been seeing someone else for the past three years behind your back.

“I believe that you believe that, Kelce, I do but I don’t think you even know what love is,” you searched his eyes, his hands reaching for yours but you kept stepping back, “or maybe this is the way you love and if this is it, I don’t want any part of it.”

Kelce shook his head and tears were filling up his eyes, the first time during this whole situation where he was showing you any type of emotion. Anything real. “I do. I love you and I’ll make it right. I’ll- I’ll leave her. If that’s what you want, I’ll leave her,” his voice cracked and as if it was really clicking in that you were going to leave him, he dropped to his knees in front of you. The sight reminded you of a happier time when he was down on one knee in front of the Cinderella castle at Disney World and you thought it was a joke. Now, you wish that this whole situation was a horrible elongated joke. 

“I don’t want it to be what I want. I want you to not want anyone else,” tears silently ran down your cheeks as his arms wrapped around you. You tried to push him off but your strength failed you when he buried his face into your stomach, his tears staining your shirt. 

“We’ve been dating since we were 12. You’re going to throw that away?” He looked up at you, begging you not to give up on him and you knew better. Your intuition was telling you that he had been lying, the walls you built up screamed that they weren’t coming down so easily but looking at him, feeling him…you couldn’t help yourself.

“I’m not going to forget this, you know. I’m not going to just pretend like it never happened,” you explained but at this point, he knew that he had you.

“Just give me one more chance. Please. Just one more. And then you can walk away forever if it doesn’t work. Please.”

Finally, you nodded. You said yes to one more chance and Kelce finally got up off his knees to tower over you again as he engulfed you in his arms. He kissed your forehead even as you explained that you couldn’t live with him again, just yet—though you’d continue to pay the bills and you even gave him your credit card to pay for the suits you destroyed. 

-------

One month has passed since that day. You’ve been shacked up in Topper’s guest house, which means that you roomed with Rafe from time to time but only when his dad was being a jerk. Both of the boys disagreed with you giving Kelce a second chance, saying something about the player’s handbook and how that was just an excuse to get you back but you blocked out their advice. Stupidly. 

It took you less than a week to find some other lie, a tagged picture on his social media with two girls sitting on his lap at the club. His location on his phone would always pin him at a point when he said he was at another. A part of you grew resentful at the man for being such a horrible liar and the other part grew resentful towards yourself for believing that he’d change. 

Kelce would blame the strain on your relationship on your constant paranoia that he was texting or talking to another girl but you couldn’t help yourself. Everywhere you looked, there was a clue that he was lying until one day he just told you not to look. He said that you hurt yourself by checking his phone and that at this point, you were doing it on purpose to try and find reasons to end your guys’ relationship. He said it so often that you started to believe that it was true. Were you just looking for reasons to be angry at him? So, you stopped checking. You stopped snooping. Luckily, you didn’t move back in with him because that would be a hell of a lot harder if he wasn’t coming home. To be fair, it was easier to lie to yourself that things were doing a lot better when you couldn’t see the truth.

After making a hefty dent in your wallet to replace everything that you’ve damaged, he began working for your father and you finally got your credit card back. Things were looking up; he was a lot happier and actually spent more time with you. Granted, it was also because your parent’s 50th anniversary was approaching so they were doing a week-long celebration of their love. Kelce attended every single party on your arm but after the parties were over, he’d always slip out and disappear. 

One night, he asked you to come to the wreck to hang out, just the two of you. No one to dress up for and no one to impress. He convinced you that it would be a lot more fun if you had a real proper date at a fancy restaurant instead. So, you agreed. You made reservations two weeks in advance and wore a long fitted green satin dress. You’ve both agreed to arrive in separate cars since he said that he was coming straight from work so you didn’t mind when he ran late. Work must’ve been keeping him from arriving on time and you understood that, so you waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

If the pitying look from the waiters weren’t embarrassing enough, it was even worse when you found out that the chef was a family friend who came out to personally recommend something off the menu that she promised that you’d like, just so you could order. To be polite, you did order—to go. While waiting for your meal, two hours late, you were checking people’s stories on an app and found out that there was actually a kegger at the Boneyard tonight and you wished that you were surprised but there was Kelce in the background.

Sending a quick text to the group chat you have going on with Topper and Rafe, labeled Golden Girls, you had informed them that you’d be attending the kegger, in which they replied that they were also on their way. Leaving a hefty tip for wasting their time and probably taking a table from multiple people who would’ve tipped them well, you left the restaurant fighting the urge to put a paper bag of shame over your head.

You didn’t think about the fact that you were severely overdressed for the Boneyard at this point, when you were getting out of your car and taking off your heels to throw them into the backseat, you were too late to do anything about it. Walking to the beach, a couple of pogues laughed at your dress as it flowed in the wind. Some shouted that you were on the wrong side of the island while others offered to take the dress off of you but you didn’t pay attention to any of them. You were a woman on a mission: alcohol first and then find Kelce.

“Damn, you know we don’t actually have a dress code, right?” JJ teased you as he filled the red cup with beer before handing it to you.

“Oh man, I must’ve missed the memo,” you played along as you laughed, seeing as he’s basically harmless. You see him hanging out with Rafe’s little sister, Sarah, all the time since she started dating John B a year ago.

Tipping your cup and giving the blonde a wink, you continued your search on the beach. To be fair, it’s not a big enough place for Kelce to hide. This whole island is not big enough for Kelce to hide his lies from you. You found him by a bonfire, his arm wrapped around her. You were disgusted by the sight yet intrigued at the same time. You’ve always wondered what it was about her that had bewitched him, so you found a tree to lean on and watched the two of them as they laughed. You memorized her curves and her face. Her smile as she places careless kisses on him. 

You found yourself comparing yourself to her. Your hair fell the same way. She even kind of had your smile but what is it that you’re missing? If she kind of looks a bit like you then why were you not enough? You were shaken out of your thoughts when someone threw their arm around your shoulder.

“How is it that you always manage to stand out even when you’re hiding in the shadows?” a gruff voice whispers in your ear. You looked up at Rafe with a sad smile and shrugged, taking another sip of your drink.

“It’s a curse more than a gift, Mr. Cameron,” you replied in a somber tone as you kept your eyes trained on the couple. He followed your gaze to Kelce and his body tensed before he snapped out of it and his head turning to you again.

“Are you fucking serious?” Rafe said and you weren’t sure if he was directing the question at you or at Kelce. Rafe had gauged your reaction, probably wondering what you were doing here staring at the two of them instead of storming up to them and claiming your man but as you stood here, you realized that that man on the beach was no longer yours. He might’ve been yours at one point and he did a damn good job at pretending to be yours for the past few years but now that you’re watching him blissfully happy with some other girl, that illusion has definitely been cracked.

Rafe pulled his arm back from around your shoulder and made his way to Kelce. You should’ve stopped him but you also knew that once Rafe had his mind set on something, it was almost impossible to get in his way. You weren’t close enough to hear what was said but Rafe had probably notified Kelce of your whereabouts since he pointed right at you. You expected your boyfriend to yank his hand back from the girl next to him and come and apologize to you like he did before, back at your apartment but he didn’t. As you stepped out of the shadows of the tree, not really seeing a reason to hide anymore, Kelce shrugged.

You wanted to be hurt and to be angry but all you could do was shrug back at him while rolling your eyes. Keeping your eyes trained at the starry night as if looking up would keep the tears in. What else could you say? You didn’t want to cause a scene, you didn’t want confrontation, and honestly, you were tired of always having to fight for his love that you clearly did not have anymore. If you had it in you, you’d be embarrassed. Seeing the stunt that he’s pulling in front of both sides of the island when the two of you were aware that everyone knew you were together. As if hearing your thoughts, Rafe began arguing with Kelce about how disrespectful he was to your relationship.

You gulped the remainder of your beer, feeling a little spill off the side of your mouth. You wiped it with the back of your hand. You needed to get away from the scene, from watching Rafe and Kelce argue while your look-alike stood by Kelce’s side as if she already was his girlfriend...was she already his girlfriend? Was she the one he brought to parties while he kept you at home? The pounding in your head was getting too much, mixed in with the murmur that now sounds like a roar of people talking but not loud enough to drown the fact that your name was being yelled back and forth between the two men. You watched as Topper ran in the middle of them and you turned on your heel before you could see anything else. At this point your mind was focused on an exit, you needed an exit but the sand was weighing your legs down, or was it the alcohol? Or was it this unbearable sadness that’s crushing your heart and making it feel heavy on your chest.

You didn’t know if you took two steps or walked a mile before someone grabbed your arm and that was all it took for the dams to burst. It sounded almost like a wail but the person had muffled it in their chest. If you had the energy and if you weren’t so drunk, you’d be angry enough to fight but right now all you wanted to do was mourn. That’s usually what breaking up was all about anyway, it was literally called breaking and that’s what it felt like you were doing. Breaking down into anonymous’ arms that had now swooped you up with their arm behind your knees and the other still pressing your head to their chest as if to protect your face from onlookers but anyone could tell that you’re crying by the way that your body was jolting. You wanted the ground to just open and swallow you up.

You didn’t ask a lot of questions as you felt the body get in the back seat with you and heard someone else get into the driver’s side. You didn’t even look up as you felt the car start moving. The two in the car had left the radio off on the drive to wherever as you cried yourself drowsy. Not once did either of them tell you to stop crying or even give you any type of advice and though it didn’t make you feel all that better, it guaranteed that you wouldn’t feel any worse.

After one episode of crying was over, you calmed yourself down enough to try and push off the next episode as long as possible. With your head still on the person’s chest, you looked over to see a bloody Rafe driving, his lips in a thin straight line. Rafe’s eyes flickered to yours from the review and you can feel the wave of sorrow through them. Your group was broken forever and each of you knew it but you also knew you’d never ask the guys to take your side when Kelce was their friend first. Speaking of him, the arms that were trailing circles on your back started to burn as acid felt like it was coming back up your throat.

“Pull over,” you said, your voice hoarse as you pushed Kelce’s hands off your body that he has no right to anymore. When no one said anything or made any moves, you unlocked the door and opened it, causing Rafe to bring the car to a screeching stop.

“Are you fucking crazy?!” You heard them yell as you all about ran out of the car and began releasing your half-eaten dinner onto the poor grass on the side of the road.

A car behind you has also pulled off to the side of the road, your car. Topper had stepped out of the vehicle and it was just three angry men, watching you dry heave until you were ready to get back into the car again.

When you were back in the car, Kelce’s eyes wouldn’t leave your face and you knew it because you felt the stare but you didn’t give him the satisfaction.

“Please take me home,” you requested as if you had just jumped into the back of a taxi cab, making Rafe shake his head.

“I’m not taking you home and leaving you alone when you’re drunk. We’re going to Topper’s and Kelce can go start packing his stuff from your apartment before you’ve sobered up tomorrow,” he said sternly but with that, the wave of sadness came over you again as you buried your face in your hands, sobbing the whole ride back.

When the car reached Topper’s house, yours pulling up beside you, the two boys stepped out. Topper going to unlock his door and Rafe standing right outside the driver’s door. Is it possible to cry the alcohol out of your system because you felt like you’re suddenly a whole lot soberer now than you were when you asked them to stop the car. You sat there in silence with Kelce beside you.

“You don’t love me anymore,” you stated, finally looking at him. He had a cut on his lip that looked pretty gnarly. Good, you hoped it hurt.

“No, at least not like before,” Kelce explained unnecessarily. You dug your nails into your legs to keep you from crying again.

“You love her,” another statement but this time it was met with a shake of his head.

“I don’t know how I feel about her yet,” he admitted and it almost felt disgusting. As if your parents had just described their sex life to you. You didn’t want to hear it, it made your skin crawl.

“We’re not going to be friends after this, you know,” you began and he opened his mouth to say something but you brought your hand up to stop him, “we’re not. The respect that you’ve shown me is little to none and that means you didn’t even love me as a person to treat me better than an enemy. I don’t even know where I went wrong and what I did to deserve to be treated like this but it is borderline inhumane. The past few months you’ve been cruel and I’ve loved you through it. I loved you and lost myself in the midst of it,” you said, the words spilling out of your mouth and you hoped that it made sense.

“One day we’ll be friends again, you’re just emotional about it right now,” he said with a roll of his eyes, the same tone he always uses when he thought that you were being dramatic. With that, Rafe had come around your side of the car and all but pulled you out of the car, throwing the keys to Kelce’s car at him. But after Kelce stepped out of the backseat and began getting in the front seat, you yelled back at the car.

“Hey!” You twisted in Rafe’s arms and Kelce sighed before looking at you, “I don’t love you anymore either,” you lied hoping that it’ll sting but the bored look he had in his eyes made you want to scream. What did you do to deserve this?

After crying while shoving the cold pizza that Topper offered to warm up in your mouth and the bath that Rafe had put on for you and insisted you looked like a beach cat, you were looking at yourself in the mirror. You were given some clean clothes. Basketball shorts, that were basically capris for you and a school t-shirt that looked like a dress and maybe you were reaching delirium but you couldn’t help but laugh. You looked like a 12-year-old boy with puffy red eyes and you felt like someone had ripped out your heart with their bare hands but you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself.

After giving yourself the worst pep talk ever in the mirror, you shrugged at your reflection as you walked into the bedroom. You felt bad that you had kicked Topper out of his room for the night, causing him to share the bed with Rafe but you told them that you needed to be alone. Plus, they were sharing a king-size bed so it wasn’t like they truly had a reason to complain. You checked your phone and not a single notification appeared and now that you were laying in this bed, you were restless. You walked to the window and cursed the powers that be that made heartache hurt this bad. Nothing else had hurt you as much as Kelce did before and you placed some of the blame to yourself mostly, for filling your head with possibilities instead of reality. You knew what he was doing, you knew that he was seeing other girls and you were naive enough to say well, at least he’s lying but he’s also lying in your bed at the end of the night. Deciding that your thoughts were too consuming, you pulled the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around yourself, your legs making their way to the guest room.

Hearing the tapping of controllers and muffled commands, you pushed the door in softly just to see Rafe and Topper illuminated by the TV light. Both of them, leaning over with their arms resting on their knees, controllers in their hands as they were whisper-yelling to each other.

Topper was the first to notice you but his head turned to you for less than a second before turning back to the tv, cussing at...well, you couldn’t tell if it was Rafe or the TV.

“Hey,” he rushed out, “couldn’t sleep?” He asked and at this point, he definitely had to be doing it out of niceties because in the same breath he also said, “that fucker— Rafe! Where are you? Are you just staring at the wall, huh? The flowers pretty enough for you? You wanna help me out here?” Which only landed him a side kick from Rafe.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” sarcasm draped Rafe’s voice as he banged on the buttons in his hand, “I didn’t realize I had to carry both of us during the game.”

You couldn’t help but laugh and shook your head at both of them. You climbed up onto the bed behind them, keeping the blanket wrapped around your shoulders, listening to them helped drown out the thoughts you were having for sure. So you tucked yourself in between them and hugged your knees as you watched them play and insult each other. It must be well past two in the morning now and all you can think about is the phone that hasn’t lit up with notifications and if he brought that girl into your bed. He had to have at least brought one in there once and the thought made your skin feel so dirty that you wanted to shower again. Before you even sniffled, you crawled up the bed and laid down right in the middle, wiping your tears away and knowing full well that if Kelce were to walk in through those doors and tell you he’s changed and that he’d love you again, you’d take him back...again. Because you knew his heart.

Two hours had passed since the boys turned in for the night, climbing in beside you. Rafe was sprawled out on the bed, lightly snoring. As Topper laid still, his arms stretched back behind his head, looking up at the ceiling. You nudged your friend lightly and without even moving, his eyes found yours.

“Can’t sleep?” He whispered, already knowing the answer.

You shook your head and then motioning to Rafe, “never thought I’d be jealous of Cameron over there,” you murmured.

It wasn’t long until Topper lured you out of bed, claiming that he had the perfect remedy for a broken heart. Trailing behind him as you both descended down the stairs, you found yourself nursing a glass of bourbon in the basement of his house. Walking around as you took tiny sips, you read each plaque on the trophies on the wall. There was a lot. Topper sat on the makeshift day bed in the corner of the room with his legs outstretched and ankles crossed in front of him. He kept his eyes on you as you walked around his room of achievements. You two didn’t really say much at first. He allowed you to use this moment as a distraction and he was probably afraid of saying the wrong thing to trigger the wrong memory, so he let you be. He took a sip straight from the bottle of liquor before offering you more once your glass was empty. After two and a half glasses, you were sat by him, trying to make sense of your head. To give credit to the boy, he was saying all the right things. He wanted you to know that you had done nothing wrong, that it was Kelce and his own choice.

“Honestly, you wouldn’t want to keep someone around who’d treat you like that anyway,” Topper offered.

“I know, I just,” you chewed your lower lip trying to find the right words, “I don’t think I know how to be without him. I don’t know how to start dating again, I don’t think I’ve ever really done it. We just met each other and it just flowed…you know? Everything about Kelce and I just flowed and now I feel like it’s totally unfair that he’s left me without any type of warning when I was still off in Happily Ever After Land, planning weddings, thinking that nothing was wrong. I started naming our kids. I just feel so dumb.” Exasperated, you shook your head at Topper who was still giving you his undivided attention. You downed the rest of your drink before you continued.

“Everything around me is him. Everything I’ve touched, he’s touched. Everything I’ve owned, he’s seen. Hell, some of my personality is him. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with and I just wish I could wash him off of me like he’s done so easily to me. I don’t know, I just wish I could fuck him out of my system.” You said with a small laugh, feeling the buzz and finally putting the glass down and cutting yourself off for the night.

Topper had laughed along with you and as you were looking at the man in front of you, an idea had popped into your head.

“Would you do it?” You suddenly asked him.

“Do what?”

“Would you help fuck him out of my system?” And you saw the wheels in his head turning as he took another sip from the bottle before placing it on the floor beside your glass.

“I don’t think you know what you’re asking of me,” Topper explained but something else was laced in his tone, “we’re friends and I don’t really want other feelings to get involved, you know what I mean? I love you but just…that’s not us.” It was quite painful actually, watching Topper turn you down as if you offered him up a relationship.

“No feelings,” you assured the blonde man in front of you, “just sex. I mean, it doesn’t have to be you, I guess. Please don’t think I’m like trying to make you do anything you don’t want to do. I just trust you and I know you’d treat me right during it and we’re friends so like it won’t be awkward but I guess I could also just ask Rafe or like I can go over to the cut and I’m sure one of them might, like, maybe--,” and though you knew you were rambling in front of Topper and your cheeks had gone red, you hadn’t imagined he’d shut you up with a kiss.

The kiss was hard as his lips crashed on yours and his lips were so completely different from Kelce. No, you weren’t going to do that. You weren’t going to compare this experience to Kelce just because he had been the only guy that you’ve ever kissed.

“I’ll be damned before you fuck a pogue,” Topper mumbled on your lips before he took your face in his hands, leaning back to look at your eyes for a moment. Making sure that you had the chance to tell him to get off and change your mind but you didn’t. You put your hands on his waist, using them as an anchor when you threw one of your legs over him, straddling him. Closing the space between the two of you, you kissed him. Unlike the first time, your lips didn’t collide, they pressed against each other gently. Your tongue is the first to slip in between his lips, your hands the first to remove his shirt, allowing him to follow suit with yours. He was letting you guide him and though you appreciated it, you wanted him to take control of the situation as well. You wanted him to want you as much as you wanted to get a new experience and yes, that was incredibly selfish but you couldn’t help it. A part of you wanted reassurance that other guys wanted you as well…that the best part of your life wasn’t Kelce.

So, you wrapped your arms around Topper’s shoulders, your hand getting lost in his hair as you deepened the kiss. You rolled onto your back, pulling him on top of you, wrapping your legs around his waist. He sits up between your legs for a moment, taking off his shirt and you follow suit. As awful as it sounded, you needed the skin contact. You needed the body heat. 

Pulling Topper down by the back of his neck, you kissed him again, tracing his skin with your lips and leaving marks on his neck and chest. Instead of stopping you and telling you that he didn’t want to look claimed, he allowed you to do as you wish to his body. So when you pushed down your pants, and then Topper’s shoulders, he didn’t hesitate. He settled between your thighs and moaned at the sight of your glistening pussy which only turned you on even more. You sunk your nails into Topper’s hair and tugged him closer to your entrance because the look that Topper was giving you almost made it look like he wanted more than you were offering and you didn’t want to think about it. This was just friends helping friends, and he did help you. Multiple times that night on multiple surfaces of his furniture and occasionally the floor and the walls.

-------

You don’t even remember falling asleep but the next morning, you woke up with your back to Rafe’s front as his arm was draped across your middle. Your arms and your leg rest on top of Topper’s body. You wondered how cold it had to have been in the house to make you not overheat with two bodies beside you and a heavy blanket on top of you. Then again, Topper’s family believes it should always be less than 65 degrees in the summer and you weren’t sure if it was just to prove that they had the money to pay for the electric bill and impress their friends or because they truly loved the cold.

You heard the door click and you pulled the blanket over your head, sinking in just a smidge lower between the boys in case Mrs. Thornton is checking in on them. The movements caused the boys to stir and you heard the door click.

“Hey,” you heard, and your body immediately tense, clinging onto Topper tighter than you already were.

“Hey, man,” Rafe was the first to speak, untangling himself from you. Sleep laced his groggy voice as he stretched and yawned, waking Topper up in the process who was following suit.

“Is she still here?” Kelce asked and you wished that you could take the guilt in his tone away but remembering all the details from the night before, never mind.

“Who?” Topper asked, still half asleep before the answer clicking in his head, “oh yeah, yeah, she is. What do you want with her?” His tone suddenly changes into a suspicious one and you couldn’t help but squeeze his side tighter. Not really realizing why you didn’t just pop up from underneath the blanket...well, probably because it might give Kelce a terrible idea about what happened last night.

“If you wait outside, we can go wake her and have her meet you,” Rafe said before Kelce could even respond and you figured that it must’ve worked because the door clicked shut again and the blanket was being pulled off of you.

“Hey!” You pouted, removing yourself from Topper as you tried to pull the blanket back on yourself.

“Do you want me to go out there with you?” Rafe offered seriously and as much as you hated the idea and did not want to speak to Kelce, you knew you had to.

“No, I’ll be okay,” You said, annoyed at the situation as you crawled over Topper to get off the bed.

“If you need us, we’re just a shout away,” Topper said as he sat up in bed, marks along with evidence of what you both did last night peaked through his T-shirt as you quickly nodded and looked away.

You found yourself in front of Kelce on Topper’s front lawn, dressed in Topper’s clothes and a part of you felt guilty. Almost as if you’d cheated on Kelce with his best friend.

Kelce took a look at your outfit before his eyes landed on your face.

“I’m sorry,” he all but blurted.

“Out of everything, I wasn’t expecting that,” you answered, honestly.

“I know. I was mean, I’m sorry. I forgot that I had told you I’d be coming to dinner. I was drunk and upset that I had to leave her to take care of you even though you are my girlfriend or was my girlfriend...but you’re right. I’ve been cruel to you and I never meant to be. You were a good girlfriend and a great friend and you didn’t deserve what I did to you. I didn’t know how to handle the situation and it just never felt like the right time to tell you and then after the first year, it just felt like it would’ve never been the right time,” and even as he said it, he shrugged. “I wasn’t prepared to handle the situation or to figure out how to tell you what’s been going on and then you wanted to say that I disrespected you, which—okay, I deserved that. So, I had all my things moved out of your apartment last night and one day I hope you can forgive me. I’m sorry.”

The silence between the two of you was deafening and though you had so much to tell him, this boy who grew up to be the man who broke your heart, you couldn’t.

“Okay,” was all that you mustered yourself up to say and with that, he turned and walked away.

—

Two weeks after Kelce had moved out of your apartment, you found yourself at the Boneyard again. Rafe with his new girlfriend, Chloe, and Topper and you. You didn’t really know what was going on with you and Topper because you didn’t want to jump into something right after your relationship with Kelce but you couldn’t deny that something was definitely there.

The boys were still friends and you had learned to accept that. There wasn’t much animosity between Kelce and you but the two of you didn’t really speak to each other anymore either. Except, for tonight of course. When Kelce had pulled you away from the group and towards the girl whose face you’ve committed to memory.

“Ashley, this is an old friend,” he introduced you to the girl. “Y/n, this is my girlfriend, Ashley.”

That stung a lot less than you thought it would, raising a glass at her to give a silent acknowledgment before turning on your heels to go find your friends. He didn’t even have the nerve to call you an ex-girlfriend and at this point if seven years of your life were wasted to just be an old friend then so be it.

You found Topper, Rafe, and Chloe standing around a bonfire before squeezing in between the boys.

“Are you pulling any girls tonight?” You teased Topper before wrapping your arms around his middle. 

“No,” Topper replied, looking at Rafe to make sure that he was right before continuing, “Yeah, no.”

“Unless...” Rafe looked at you with his eyebrows raised, joking as he nudged your side with his elbow. 

“Luckily, I don’t think I have to,” you said as you laughed.

“Come on,” Topper said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and started walking you towards the car, “I bet I can beat all of you in COD.”

You can hear Rafe snort at the statement as he trailed behind with his girlfriend, whispering in her ear and kissing the top of her head. As you passed the partygoers on the beach, you looked at Kelce one last time. His smile was as wide as when you’d first met and you’ve finally accepted that he’s happier with her now. At least happier than he was when he was with you for the last couple of months and even if it hurt, you were going to be okay.

taglist: @letsgofullkook @downbytheouterbanks @jiaraendgame @diverdcwn

[farfromtommy]

world’s best surprise PART 2 // dad!Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: part 2 bc lots of you asked for it. dad!tom makes me soft. hope you all enjoy reading this, I loved writing it :))))) I did not proof read/ edit it bc its 3am and I have to be up in 3 hrs and really need to sleep oops

A/N 2: THIS VERSION IS A REWRITE PLS ENJOY <3

summary: y/n goes into labor 

warning: swearing, childbirth, fluff 

word count: 3,330

requests are open!!!!!

masterlist

add yourself to my taglist <3

PART 1 

not my gif

Everyone you talked to and everything you read always said pregnancy was the most beautiful thing that could happen. That it was magical and amazing. You felt that way after the morning sickness had subsided and you felt the “pregnancy glow” everyone talked about. But now at 36 almost 37 weeks, you were absolutely over it. 

It was a Friday night and instead of going out and enjoying the last few weeks before the baby arrived, you were on the couch eating ice cream and watching tv. You put your feet up on the coffee table and rested your bowl on your stomach looking for something to watch.

You started your maternity leave when you hit 32 weeks. Nobody told you how boring it was going to be just sitting around waiting for your baby to come. Most days were spent lounging around your new house. 

You and Tom had finally moved into your new house and you spent most of your day unpacking and getting the nursery ready for the baby who could make an appearance any day. You finished organizing all of his clothes and basic necessities. Although your baby would be spending time in your bedroom for a little while, you still wanted his nursery to be perfect. 

You laid back, still using the top of your stomach as a table, and began watching a movie that had piqued your interest. You were about 15 minutes into it when you heard keys jingle and the lock turning. You looked over just as Tom walked in, looking beat and exhausted. He had been trying to finish the last few things he needed to do before the baby arrived so he could take time off to care for you and his newborn. 

He set his things down and kicked off his shoes. He walked over to where you were sitting and as soon as he saw you, everything negative in his body seemed to melt away. 

“I want to take you out somewhere. You can pick the place. I just need to take you out somewhere and show you off.” Tom smiled at you as he leaned over the back of the couch. You twisted your head to look at him and saw the wide grin he had on his face. 

“Is that so? Well you’re pulling me away from my ice cream and a movie, so it better be worth it.” You smiled back. He walked around to the front of the couch to stand in front of you. He leaned down and placed a sweet kiss to your lips. He moved your ice cream bowl, and grabbed your hands to help you stand up. You moved your legs from the coffee table and placed them on the ground, allowing Tom to help you up. 

~

You both sat there in the restaurant taking in the wonderful time you were both having. You were talking about everything and anything that came to your mind. Tom seemed fidgety and nervous towards the end of dessert. You finished your cheesecake and wiped the corner of your mouth. 

You took a deep breath and leaned back in your chair, you were absolutely stuffed to the brim with the decadent meal you just had. There was honestly not that much room left in your stomach but you always managed to throw down some cheesecake. Tom took the bill and you two were heading out the door when he suggested taking a little walk to the park about a block from the restaurant. 

“It’s a beautiful night, it would be a shame if we didn’t take advantage of it.” He grabbed your hand and led you towards the park. A few minutes later you made it to the park and saw a bench that overlooked the whole thing. Tom saw your gaze fall on the bench and chuckled to himself. 

He sat down next to you and let one of his arms fall behind your shoulders and the other rested on your stomach. He moved it around until he felt what he was waiting for. The baby seemed to know whenever it was Tom touching your stomach and almost immediately would respond by kicking as hard as they possibly could. 

“I don’t think that’s ever going to get old.” He said, looking at your bump lovingly. You rested your head on his shoulder and just watched the interaction he was having with your baby. 

“Seeing how excited you get when they kick makes the tiny feet in my ribs worth it.” You said to him. He snorted and pressed a kiss to your hairline. He shifted on the bench a little, allowing you to lean into his body more. As sneakily as he could, Tom reached into the pocket of the jean jacket he was wearing and pulled out what he had been holding onto all night. 

He kept it closed in his fist and moved it out in front of you. He kissed your cheek to get your attention and moved it closer to you. You turned over his fist and he opened up his fingers to reveal a diamond ring resting in his palm. A gasp left your mouth and you turned around and looked him in the eye. 

“I’ve been thinking about what I want to say to you when I propose for years, probably since we got together. I never want to leave your side for as long as I’m alive. I look at you and all I can think about is the family we’re about to start and how badly I want to keep making babies with you. This is the life I’ve dreamed of having, and it’s not a dream anymore. I love you so much, Y/N. I want to marry the shit out of you. So, will you marry me?” He said in a quiet voice, his eyes darting across your face. 

The only word you managed to get out was ‘Yes’ before the tears fell down your face and you wrapped your arms around Tom. You felt him sigh a breath of relief and embraced you as close as he could. You sobbed into his shoulders as he placed kisses into your neck. He pulled back and grabbed your left hand so he could slide the ring onto your finger. The second it was on he brought it to his lips and kissed your knuckles. 

~ 

When you got home neither of you were ready to turn in for the night, opting to get comfortable on the couch.  You and Tom were cuddled up on the couch watching some action movie when you both started to fall asleep. Tessa was sitting at the other end of the couch, loving the company. 

He had you wrapped in his arms and laid between his legs with your back against his chest, your hands resting on your bump, you used his biceps as a pillow and just let your eyes close. You loved falling asleep wrapped in his arms, it’s where you felt safest. 

You were woken up from your deep slumber by a sharp pain radiating from your stomach. Your doctor said it was normal to feel cramping, as your body was getting ready for birth, but this was different. It was worse than anything you had felt. Refusing to let the panic set in, you just sat there trying to calm down. 

You stayed awake for a little bit, wanting to see if it happened again. You and Tom were still tangled on the couch and Tessa still asleep at your feet. You gasped quietly as you felt another sharp pain in the same spot about 10 minutes later, waking up Tessa in the process. She looked at you and started whining. You shushed her as you felt Tom stir from behind you.

“Tess shh ‘m tryin’ to sleep.” Tom mumbled from behind you and shifted a little, trying to go back to sleep. He tightened his grip on your body as he started to fall asleep. 

“Tom, s-something’s wrong. I’m h-having these pains in my stomach. I haven’t felt this b-before.” You stuttered out. Tom’s eyes shot open and he saw the panic spread across your face. He helped you sit up and kneeled in front of you. 

“Let’s just try and stay calm, yeah? Doctor said to get you in a tub with warm water to relax your body. Wanna try that before we call her?” He said in a low voice, trying to keep you calm. You nodded frantically before he stood up and helped you to the master bathroom. 

He helped you out of your clothes and into the tub. You sat there for a while, letting the warm water wrap around your body. Tom sat there next to you, running his hand up and down your back to help you relax. He whispered words of encouragement as you gripped the sides of the tub. 

After about 20 minutes in the tub you hadn’t felt any pains again. You drained the tub and with Tom’s help you started to stand up. When you were out of the tub and wrapped in your fluffy robe, you felt a huge amount of pressure in your stomach drop, and then a gush of liquid come out from between your legs. You gasped and grabbed the nearest surface to try and steady yourself. Tom looked over to you in panic and just stood there, waiting for you to say something.

“I think that was my water, we should probably go to the hospital.” You squeaked and looked up at Tom. He just stared at you with wide eyes until he processed what you had said. 

You were waiting in the living room as Tom frantically ran around your house, trying to get everything you had gotten ready to take to the hospital. The carseat was installed last week, your bags were in the trunk, Tom’s mom was on her way to pick up Tessa and take her back to her house, and your doctor had been called and was going to meet you at the hospital. You were standing by the door with your hand on the wall, trying to steady yourself as your contractions started to come in. 

“Tom can we PLEASE go, we need to go!” You said to him as you saw his whip down the stairs and into the living room. “Yes, love! Let’s go, I have everything.” He said as he ran to the door. He helped you into the car and made sure you were as comfortable as you could be and you made your way to the hospital in record time. You were in your hospital room getting checked by your doctor within 30 minutes of your water breaking. 

The epidural was working wonders after what felt like the millionth hour of being in labor. Only at 6 centimeters dilated, you and Tom were in for a treat for the next couple of hours. He had asked if the lights could be dimmed in your room so you could try and relax as much as possible. His hands were pressing into your lower back as you laid on your side to try and release some of the tension you were holding there. 

“You’re being awfully quiet, Tom. What’s going on in that head of yours?” You whispered, turning your head to look behind you. 

“‘m sorry lovey. I’m feeling a bit scared and overwhelmed but this is about you and the little one, so don’t worry about me.” He spoke truthfully. You motioned for him to help you turn to your other side. He quickly stood and maneuvered your body to a new position. He sat in his chair again and you placed your hand against his cheek. He immediately leaned into your touch and shut his eyes. 

“It’s okay to be scared right now, Tommy. I’m terrified, if I’m being honest. But we’re going to meet our baby today, just try and think about how excited we’ve been. Everything is going to be okay.” He smiled at your words. You always knew how to talk him down when he was feeling anxious about something. 

“We’re about to become parents. How crazy is that?” You chuckled. He opened his eyes and let a grin take over his face. 

“The craziest.” He whispered, moving closer to you. He planted kisses all over your face and hugged you as best 

~

“One more push Y/N and they’ll be out!” The doctor said as you started to push again. A few seconds later you felt an immense amount of pressure shoot out of your body and as you looked down you saw your baby in the hands of your doctor. They were placed onto your bare chest as they wailed out. 

You were there in disbelief as your baby was just placed onto your chest. You couldn’t believe They were here. They were being cleaned up as you just stared in wonder. Not even realizing you were crying, Tom wiped more tears off your face and planted a kiss on your forehead. 

“Go ahead and check and see what it is.” A nurse said as they continued to wipe the baby down. You looked at Tom as you looked to see what gender your baby is. 

“It’s a boy! Tommy, we have a son.” You cried out, tears still streaming down your face. 

“He’s perfect Y/N, oh my god. Just absolutely perfect.” Tom said with amazement in his eyes. You looked at the way he admired his son and how nothing else seemed to matter anymore. 

“We gotta have more Tom, we have to.” You sobbed out, running your hands along your son’s body. All the nurses and your doctor laughed at what you said. The nurse cleaning him up said it’s not the first thing mom’s say after going through labor. Tom just agreed with you and kept wiping the tears off your face. 

You three were the only people in the world. It was perfect. Tom cut the umbilical cord and just watched in pure shock as the nurses did all his measurements and wrapped him in a blanket. They handed him to Tom and you could see how tense he was as they placed your son into his arms, but almost immediately relaxed. 

He walked over to your bed and sat on the edge of it. You moved over as much as you could and watched your son in the arms of your fiancé. You ran your finger along his cheek and couldn’t take your eyes off of him. 

“Hey mate, happy birthday.” Tom whispered when your son opened his eyes. You looked up at Tom and saw the tears forming on his lash line. Tom brought him closer to his face and placed his forehead against the baby’s. It took everything in you to not lose your shit. 

~

“My goodness, Y/N. He is so beautiful.” Nikki whispered as she held her grandson. Dom was standing right behind her looking at the new addition. 

“He looks a bit like Tom did, don’t he?” Dom asked. All Nikki could do was nod and continue staring at him. Tom had left the room to get his brothers and Harrison from the waiting room so they could have their introduction.

Tom knocked on the door lightly before pushing it open with a herd of people behind him. Harrison was the first to lay his eyes on the baby and all the air seemed to leave his body. Tom’s brothers all walked in and had the same reaction to seeing their nephew.

“Bloody hell, he looks exactly like Tom.” Sam managed to get out, moving to get a proper look at him. Nikki turned a bit to move to the center of the group of the boys. Harrison was the first to reach out to hold him. He looked up to you to make sure it was okay and after you gave him a nod, he carefully took the baby.

“I’m going to implode if you don’t tell us what his name is already.” Harry looked up at you and Tom waiting for one of you to say something. You looked over at Tom motioned for him to get on with it. He walked over to Harrison and rubbed his hand along the top of the baby’s head. 

“This is Oliver Thomas Holland.” Tom announced to the room. You smiled as everyone looked over at him. Oliver began to fuss a little bit in Harrison’s arms and he started to panic, looking to Tom for help. Tom laughed at his friend not knowing what to do with the squirming baby. 

“He’s probably hungry. I’ll take him, just hand me that blanket. You guys can stay in here, if you want.” You stretched your arms out and had the baby passed to you. Adjusting your hospital gown, the baby and the blanket, you managed to get Oliver eating without flashing anyone. 

Everyone found a spot in the room and just started conversations with each other. Tom looked under the blanket a couple times just to admire the love of his life feeding his son. Nikki had asked about the IV in your left hand and you lifted it up to show her, forgetting about the extra piece of jewelry you had on your finger. 

“Is that an engagement ring?!” She slapped her hand over her mouth, realizing she may have been a little too loud. Everyone stopped and looked at you. You sheepishly smiled and looked over at Tom. 

Harry walked over to Tom and slapped a hand on his back, congratulating him. Of course he had told Sam, Harry, and Harrison that he was planning on proposing. Nikki started crying and continued looking at your ring. She hugged you as best as she could with the baby in your arms. 

~

Adjusting to life as parents wasn’t easy. Ollie had decided against sleeping and was up every 2 hours screaming, needing attention from his parents. You wouldn’t trade it for anything, though. The middle of the night feedings and diaper changes made the time you spent with him during the day worth it. 

Watching your son start to get a grasp on life and exploring this new world he was in was amazing. Most of your day was spent on the couch with your little one in your arms, or watching Tom interact with him. Tom was super excited when the labor and delivery nurses had encouraged him to continue doing skin to skin at home. 

Breaking the news to Tom’s fans about the new member of your family was almost as scary as him announcing he was dating you. Tom’s instagram feed was filled with pictures of you, so the fans were very aware of your relationship. You had gone to all his premieres and were always spotted in public with him. Luckily, you managed to avoid the public finding out about your pregnancy. 

Tom had agreed with you about keeping Ollie out of the public eye, not wanting his pictures being exploited. You agreed to one instagram post. Tom’s fans were so important to him, and he wanted to include them in the excitement of having a new addition. 

He had Harry come over to your house to take a few pictures. The one you had approved for instagram was of you, Tom and Ollie on the couch. You held Ollie close to your chest, turning his head so it wasn’t visible. Tessa was sitting right next to you looking into the camera and Tom next to Tessa, looking over at you and Ollie. 

Harry had found a shirt for Tessa online that said ‘World’s Best Big Sister’ and decided it was very appropriate for the occasion. Tom posted the photo to his instagram with the caption --

Tessa is very excited to tell the world about her baby brother. Y/N and I welcomed a baby boy into our lives a few weeks ago. We’re both so overwhelmed with love and joy and are loving this new chapter of our lives. I will be taking time off from filming to be with my son and fiancée, but you will see some more from me in the not so distant future. Thank you everyone for your love and support. #BabyHolland 

---

For everyone who wanted a part 2!!!

@ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @crazy12cinemas @xoluvx @afictionaladventure16 @fab-notfat @tomscuddle 

[connordavidscamera]

Falling in Love | Connor Brashier

A/n: this is a repost from my Shawn account!! This is my piece and is not stolen.

Summary: you just can’t believe how in love you are with your fiancé.

Warnings: fluff

Word count: 1.8k

***

Staring at my fiancé from across the room, I still can’t help but think I’m dreaming. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to keep this man interested long enough for him to even want to marry me. But here we are a month into our engagement, at our party with all our friends and family, and I still think I should wake up any second now.

I knew I was a goner the first time he kissed me - when the whole world stopped existing until we pulled away for the much needed oxygen to find its way back to our lungs. It was almost too perfect, the way his lips curved against mine, the way his hands cradled my face like that was its rightful place - since that day, it has been. I’d never understood what people meant when they said sparks flew when they kissed someone. But I understood that day.

Our relationship was never rushed. We took everything slow and steady (even though people had their opinions about how long it took us to go public on his insta, or how long it took for us to say I love you. Except, hi, that’s no one’s goddamn business, but go off, I guess.) And I’ll admit, it did take longer than expected for either of us to say those three words to each other - eight months, actually. But you could feel the love in the relationship even without them. It was in the way he always picked up the phone when I called, no matter the timezone. It showed when he would come back from tour and he’d come to my apartment just to fall asleep on my chest because my heart beat lulled him to sleep. And how his hands always found their way to lock with mine whether we’re walking to the car, or dancing in a crowded club, or eating dinner and we’re sitting on opposite ends of the table, so he reaches over and it’s like that cutesy couple thing you see in all the movies. We didn’t need the words to feel them.

And just looking at him and his nonchalant attitude, no one would think that he had a romantic side. And they definitely wouldn’t guess that for our first six dates, before he finally asked me to be his girlfriend, he sent me flowers the next day. And then when we started actually dating, little love notes would just pop up everywhere. Like when he slept over and would wake up before me, I’d find a sticky note on my bathroom mirror that would say something like “Your smile is the best part of my day.” And there have been a few instances where I wasn’t feeling my greatest and he just showed up hours later - seeing as these moments only seemed to happen when he was off on tour - and he’d cuddle me on the couch while we watched shitty rom-coms until I felt better. And it may not be a big deal to anyone else, but when he talks to me, or listens to me talk, his eyes are always trained on me, and I think it’s kinda cute.

And he’s the most caring person. Not just with me, either. He looks after his own. His brother got in a fight one time and Connor was there instantly to patch up his wounds and give him a place to stay so he wouldn’t have to face their mom. Another time Alessia fell coming off the stage and he sprinted to get her ice for her swollen ankle. He made sure to check on her every thirty minutes or so, even though he was working and couldn’t do much for her then. And he is always, always there when I’m sick to my stomach, or sick of life. He’s there drawing hearts and smiley faces over the problem area with his finger, whether it be my stomach, or back, or my mind. He takes care of his own and that to me says everything about our future.

And this boy, Jesus Christ, he is so creative. I’ve never known anyone whose mind works like his. He can see a plain brick wall and immediately his brain clicks and it’s suddenly turned into an aesthetic Shawn’s next shoot. And he doesn’t just focus on faces, he goes and he gets the beads of sweat on Shawn’s hairline, and the rings on his fingers. And he edits his videos in such a way that you can’t possibly watch it only once and feel like you’ve seen everything. It’s fast paced and beautiful and I could watch him edit for hours on end and never get bored. The way he layers photos on top of videos and how he knows just  the right time to make the music swell in a scene. He’s talented and I hope he knows I think so.

He’s so random too. I never know what to expect with him. We can lay in bed while he’s stroking my hair, pulling me to sleep when he asks, “What if cows screamed when you milked them?” Or, “You know, Popeye ate a lot of spinach, but I don’t think that’s the real reason he was so strong. He had to be taking steroids.” One time he came into the room at 3 in the morning, woke me up and asked, “When you were a kid, did you have those suction cup ball things that you would throw at a wall or a window and they’d just stay there?”

“Connor, I’m trying to sleep.”

“I know, but this is important.”

“Why?”

“Because I just bought a dozen of those and a dozen of those sticky slappy hand things.”

And he’s spontaneous (not just in the things he buys off Amazon at 3 AM). There have been many occasions where he has called me up and told me to pack an overnight bag because he wanted to go to the beach or Disney or because he found this bookshop in Nevada that he thinks I’ll enjoy. And then of course there are the more “extravagant” trips he likes to take at random points in the year. We spent last Christmas in the Bahamas because he wanted to wear shorts on Christmas day and he couldn’t do that if we were going to a family Christmas party apparently. Another time we flew to New York because I said I was craving something from this one restaurant we went to last time we were there. He doesn’t wait a second. If I mention wanting something, we’re gone in hours, or it’s already ordered and on it’s way. There is no way to fully know what his next move is gonna be and that keeps the relationship exciting.

And he sees things so vividly, remembering them in soft light, sometimes though in overexposure. He tells stories- AMAZING stories - through the lens of his camera. He puts everything into perspective in such a way that you can’t picture it any other way. You can’t see Shawn on stage and not immediately think of the thousands of girls and women crying because they’re in the same room as him and he’s there and he’s beautiful. And you can’t see him running to hug his fans without seeing the pure elation from the ones he touches. Connor gives you the pieces to make one whole and leaves nothing out, not even once. He never strays from the real story he’s telling, although he might go into a few others while doing so,he always finds his way back.

And despite his resting scowl, he’s not a fighter. He puts off this “I dont give a fuck” type of vibe, but he’s a softy. Until someone says something they shouldn’t. It’s only happened twice. When we were out with friends and I was getting us a couple waters from the bar. This man, who was way too close to me, tried to buy me a drink, his hand playing with the straps of my dress. I was uncomfortable, but I couldn’t find Connor in the crowded space and I had nowhere to escape to when he started getting even more touchy. And then I heard it, the unmistakable sound of skin hitting skin. “Come on, we’re going home.” He said roughly into my ear and he pulled me away, out of the club. Only for him to be Connor again, my Connor. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you? God, I oughta kill him. Can I get you something?” I just shook my head and wrapped my arms around him. He let me. Of course he did.

The other time was early on in the relationship. We were hanging out with his brother and some of his friends from school. I don’t really know what happened, but one of Dylan’s friends said something about me. Connor told me later it had to do with him having me in his bed while he did awfully dirty things to me. Con went off on the younger boy, his face red with anger. He looked like he would blow steam out of his ears at any second. Dylan and I had to pull him out of the room, and let’s just say, he and I don’t go anywhere near that guy anymore.

“You’ve been staring at me for a while now, sweetheart.” Connor said, suddenly at my side, his voice low in my ear. “You’re giving me bedroom eyes. Can’t take care of you with all these people here.”

I hum, finding his fingers to lace mine through. “Hmm… that’s never stopped you before.”

“No,” he presses a gentle kiss to the side of my neck. “But we are kind of hosting this party. So it would be rude to just disappear for 20 minutes.”

“Who said it would take that long?” I giggle, connecting our lips in a quick peck.

He hums into my skin, “Later, kid. When I have you all to myself and we can be as loud as we need to be.”

I nod, biting my lip. “We could always kick them out early.”

“Patience, y/n. Want me to take care of you?”

I nod desperately. “Please.”

“Then you gotta be good for me. Because the guys are staring at us right now and neither of us will hear the end of it if I take you right now.”

I whine. “Okay… but I want everyone out in an hour.”

He kisses my lips one more time before pulling away from me. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I love you,” I say just loud enough for him to hear. 

“I love you, sweetheart.” He throws me a wink before disappearing in the sea of people that fill our home.

***

I hope you enjoyed (again)! Please like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

[naruto--imagines]

Naruto x Reader [Baby]

[A/N] I do not own any of the characters present in this story, nor do I own the GIF that is featured. I do hold ownership over the story itself, please do not re-post it anywhere. Thanks! <3

WARNINGS: female reader, angst

Reflecting back, it’s not the life you wanted at twenty years old. But you wouldn’t change anything either.

You and Naruto had started dating your senior year of high school, and that relationship was easily continued through your first years of college when you found out you were attending the same school. Your relationship went on smoothly. Until you hit a crossroad.

“I was offered a position on the national soccer team,” Naruto confessed to you one night while you were eating dinner at your place. This didn’t surprise you, he was a sensational soccer player. In fact, one of the reasons for attending the school you did was their amazing soccer program.

“What’d you say?” You questioned picking at your plate some more.

“That I needed time to think about it. They only gave me a day.” Naruto explained.

“I guess this is a good time to tell you, I was offered an apprenticeship at a studio. They liked my portfolio and want me to work with a design team to produce patterns for designers and work on art for magazines.” You explained to your boyfriend of three years. “Unfortunately that’s gonna take up the rest of my free time.” With this apprenticeship you would have more money in your pocket, Your current job and scholarships were enough to pay for school and average living expenses, but this was a chance to break into the graphic design business and gain some recognition. You were majoring in English currently, too scared of the possibilities of not having a job after graduation. Even though designing was something you enjoyed and were lucky to have the opportunity to continue doing it.

“So what now?” Naruto asked setting his fork down and looking at you.

“Maybe.” You started hesitantly, not really wanting to finish the thought. “Maybe we should… break up?” You ended with an upward tilt to your voice, clearly showing your hesitation. After saying that you stared at your plate. Not wanting to see his reaction.

“Yeah. I- I think that may be for the best.” Naruto responded with reservation.

So the two of you made the hardest decision possible. After discussing it for a few hours you both realized that neither of you would have time to invest in a relationship, which wasn’t fair to either of you. But you both wanted to stay friends. It was still a commitment to each other, but not one that would be drastically strained due to distance.

With that conclusion reached, the two of you went to bed and spent one last night together as a couple. Desperately, you clutched to each other through your passion filled night. The both of you aware that when the morning came, it would be over and you would each walk separate paths.

And separately you walked. Naruto left the city to join his new team and start his training, and you started your new job. For the first three weeks, you talked regularly. Neither of you had it in your schedules to talk during the day, but at night as you were winding down you would message one another for an hour. Periodically sprinkled in between were some brief phone calls about things that were hard to convey over text or simply from being too excited to text. Then around the fourth week, the messages were less and less. One night as you were scrolling through Instagram you came across pictures he posted from a night out. Surrounded by booze and immaculately beautiful models. Even though the two of you were broken up … that stung. The next day you tried to send him a picture of a new pattern you had been working on. He always enjoyed seeing your art and you had been sending him all of your designs and always received positive feedback. Until now.

Naruto had never left you on ‘read’, this may have stung more than seeing the models. You two had been so close, even if you were no longer dating you thought you would at least be friends. The entire week went on like that. You tried to reach out at least once every day. A few texts, some of your designs, and even a picture of your dinner from his favorite ramen shop. Nothing worked.

After a week of trying, you gave up. The stress over the situation was literally making you sick. To the point where you weren’t keeping down anything after eating. Then you were getting sick in the morning too. A stomach bug you said when you called into work and your internship.

“I don’t know. It’s almost been a week, I think you should go to the hospital.” Sakura said. The two of you had gone out the night before and now you were laying out on your couch clutching your trashcan.

“Well, this might just be the flu or something.” You said pushing your hair back. Sakura sat down next to you and placed her hand on your forehead.

“No. That’s it, I’m taking you to the hospital.” She said standing you up and moving you along with her.

The two of you walked down the street to the train, you leaning against her the entire time and her supporting you in return. Sitting there you felt miserable. Each bump and jostle left your stomach lurching again. The 15-minute ride felt like it went on for 15 hours until you arrived at your stop and stumbled off the train. Glad to be on solid ground again, the two of you walked to the hospital.

“Sakura! I thought you were off today?” One of the nurses asked.

“Yeah, but I had to force my friend to come into the hospital. She’s not feeling too great right now.” Sakura explained to her after she placed you in a chair.

That’s where you sat filling out paperwork until it was time to see the doctor. You waited an hour before you were called back. With your symptoms, they decided to do a blood test to figure it out. And the results weren’t what you expected.

“Congratulations miss. You are pregnant.” The doctor said after looking at the paperwork in hand.

“Wh - What!?” You questioned.

“Yup, the sickness and the fatigue is not from the flu but because you are with a child my dear.”

You heard the words but didn’t process them. In fact, you were currently clutching to Sakura. Knowing she would be able to reiterate the information the doctor was currently rattling off now to you later.

“Hey.” Sakura nearly shouted your name to gain your attention. “Are you okay?” She asked with a concerned look on her face. It was at this point you realized you were no longer in the hospital.

“Uhm, yeah, I think so.” You said looking at the pamphlets you had acquired at some point.  “Or at least I will be.” This changed everything. Literally everything. “I just need some time to think.”

“Hmm, let’s get you home then,” Sakura said wrapping her arm around your shoulder and walking down the street with you.

When you got back to your place Sakura made you soup for lunch. Then the two of you sat on the couch. Honestly, you were glad to have her as your best friend, you weren’t sure how this would have gone without her.

But it’s been a few months since then, and now you were nearing the end of your second trimester. You had to give up quite a bit. You switched to taking online classes and quit your internship after you had enough money to pay for all that you needed in your nursery. You changed jobs from the high-end cafe you were working into an editing job. Granted you were low man on the totem pole so all you really did was review and edit and edit and review. But it was a job you could do from home, and being a single mother that was perfect for you.

“Does he know about the baby?” Sakura asked. She had tagged along with you to your ultrasound today. And now you were getting ice cream.

“Nope.” You said licking at your cone.

“Sweetie why not? He should know.” Sakura said eating her own frozen dessert.

“No, he went off and is living his life, and honestly” you stopped and sat in thought for a moment. “We broke up to follow our dreams. My dreams changed.” You explained rubbing your stomach. “I don’t want to force him to change his.”

“But you should give him a chance to decide.” Sakura chided.

“He hasn’t returned any of my messages in months. I’m done trying to get him to listen.” You stated.

“Okay. Okay. I didn’t mean to stress you out.” She back peddled.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”  You sighed resting your head on her shoulder. “I’m stressed, I didn’t mean to snap at you. Thank you for coming with me today, and every other time.”

“Haha, no problem. I’m glad to go with you. And I am so excited to see my god-son every chance I get!” She exclaimed leaning in close to you and placing her hands on your stomach and leaning in to nuzzle it as well. “Now, let’s get your mama home.” She said standing up and helping you up to walk home.

Sakura had been your largest support pillar. From day one she had been by your side. Every doctor’s appointment, the mornings you spent curled on the floor, and even your first ultrasound (which you cried at). She was even there when you went into labor. And through the twenty-two-hour process.

“OH! No, no no no. Sakura, Ah-I I can’t!” You said struggling through the next contraction.

“Yes, yes you can. You can do it, you HAVE to do it. Your son needs you right now.” She said wiping the sweat and tears from your face.

And you did, you brought your son Asahi into the world. Your beautiful son with your eyes and nose and bright blonde hair. And you loved him.

So that’s where you found yourself a year later.

You were now 20-years old, Asahi had recently turned one, marking almost two years without talking to Naruto. And you were fine. You had your son and that was your sole focus. You had a year and a half left until you graduated and your classes were going really well. Not only that, but you moved up in your job. Being a top editor meant you made more money with more leadership opportunities and could work on larger projects.

Presently, you had finally laid your one-year-old down for bed and now it was time to clean. You started on laundry, no one told you how dirty the clothes of a one-year-old could get. Asahi had three wardrobe changes today, and now that he was walking he managed to find messes all over the place. Once the washing machine was running you went into the living room and began to pick up Asahi's toys that were strewn across the floor. When those were put away you shook out the rug in the middle of the room before grabbing your broom to sweep up all the dirt and cracker crumbs. By the time the living room was cleaned up, it was time to rotate laundry. You placed the clean clothes into the dryer then started on the dishes. When those were washed and put away it was 9:00pm (2 hours after you put Asahi down), and now time for you to get to work.

You pulled out your laptop and began to diligently comb through the newest manuscript you had been sent. You did this for about an hour before you got up to stretch and get a cup of tea. Then it was back to work.

Soon the clock rolled around to 11:00pm and you had managed to breeze through 8 chapters before a loud pounding came to your door. Your apartment was in a decent part of town, although that didn't mean you were eager to open the door this late at night. The pounding came again and you decided to check it before the person woke your son up. Looking through the peep-hole you saw bright blond hair. Then the blond hair moved back and revealed familiar features. You threw open your door and stared in disbelief.

"Naruto?" You sternly questioned the man in front of you.

"HEY!” He yelled stumbling towards you. “You still live here! And you are looking good! Oh, It’s been so long.” He said leaning against your door frame.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him attempting to keep him upright.

“Hehe, I’m drunk and I forgot where my hotel was. And I need a place to stay, so I came here! Do you have any ramen?” He slurred stumbling around you, into your apartment and straight to your kitchen.

“Ah, Naruto I don’t think-” You started, closing and locking your door behind you.

“Hey! I found it!” He yelled.

“Okay, okay, I will make it for you. Just please, go sit on the couch and be quiet.” You said placing your hand on his arm and guiding towards the living room.

“Mmm. Okay,” Naruto said placing a kiss to your cheek and stumbling off to the couch. You fixed up a bowl of instant ramen for him, you still remembered how he liked it, and brought it out to him. The blond quickly sucked it down and handed the bowl back to you. “Thank you. It was really tasty.” He softly murmured leaning against you.

Soon enough he fell asleep pressed against you. You cautiously slipped out from under him and positioned one of the throw pillows in your place. Staring at your ex you shook your head and sighed before turning off the lights and going to your own bed.

“Mama!” That is what woke you up. At 6 o’clock in the morning. Even on Saturdays, you couldn’t get a break. Giving a groan you rolled out of your bed and walked down the hall to your son’s room.

“Morning my love.” You said picking up Asahi and pressing a kiss to his face, smiling when he returned the action effectively smearing slobber all over your cheek. You were still working on “nice kisses”, but he was improving. After that, you placed him on his changing table and got him into a fresh diaper. “There, all better. Are you ready for some breakfast?” You asked the toddler.

“Mm-Mm-Mm!” He excitedly responded while bouncing in your arms. “Bah- Bah!!” Asahi loudly demanded as soon as you walked into the kitchen.

“Okay, mama will get your bottle in a moment.” You told him placing him in his high-chair. You got started on his breakfast of toddler porridge and blueberries, along with making his bottle. “Alright big boy, time to eat!” You said as you placed his breakfast on his tray then pulled off his PJ shirt leaving him in his diaper. Breakfast was his messiest meal of the day and you learned it was easier to put him in the bath after he ate than washing his clothes every day.

“‘Ank ‘ou mama,” Asahi said diving into his bowl of food.

“Mmm, you’re welcome baby.” You said pressing a kiss to his head before going back to the kitchen to make your own breakfast and coffee. You were leaning against the counter sipping on your coffee and eating your toast with eggs when another noise caught your attention.

“Ooft, that was some night! Huh? How’d I get here?” You hear Naruto question before you also hear the springs of the couch creak.

“Morning,” You said as Naruto peeked into the kitchen

“Uh, hey.” He awkwardly responded, scratching the back of his head.

“Sleep well?” You questioned.

“Y-yeah, thanks for letting me crash here.” He said keeping his distance.

“No problem, not like I was gonna make you sleep outside on the ground.” You responded with a small smile and handed him a cup of coffee and a plate of toast and eggs. “How are you feeling?”

“A little hungover but no worse for wear,” Naruto replied taking the mug from you before falling into a silence. Though it didn’t last long.

“Mama!” Asahi screamed from the other room indicating he was done with his food. You placed your cup down and walked over to your dining area. Grabbing a wet wipe you quickly wiped his face and hands before picking him up and carrying him back to the kitchen. You leaned back up against the counter with your son now in your arms and fell back into silence.

“You, uh, you have a kid?” Naruto questioned in disbelief his food and drink now forgotten.

“Yeah, about that, we need to talk.” You said hesitantly. At that moment Asahi turned around and yelled.

“Dada!” before attempting to lunge from your arms. Asahi knew who his father was, you had shown him pictures and talked about Naruto with him (Leaving out the negatives). Lucky enough, you wrangled him in before he fell.

“S-surprise.” You stuttered out, hugging your son closer to you.

“He. He’s mine?” Naruto questioned in disbelief.

“Yeah,” You quietly replied. “Uh, Naruto. Meet Asahi Uzumaki.” You said almost using your son as a shield.

For the first time since you had known him, Naruto was stock still and deathly quiet. His arms were crossed and you could tell the gears were turning in his head.

“Why. Didn’t you. Tell me?” He practically growled. It was a tone you hadn’t heard before.

“I. I tried -”

“You tried! How!?” He yelled startling you and Asahi.

“I sent you a message! You didn’t respond!” You yelled back.

“A text! That was it! You said ‘I need to tell you something’ then didn’t say anything.”

“You! Didn’t! Respond! What was I supposed to think?” It was at this point that Asahi was getting fussy with all of the yelling and there was a knock at the door. “Ugh!” You exclaimed storming over to the door and throwing it open.

“Hey! There’s my handsome man!” Sakura exclaimed as she swooped in and plucked her godson from your arms and placing kisses all his exposed belly. “Why are you still in your pajamas? I thought we were going to the park today?” She asked looking at you and noticing the frown on your face. Then seeing the twenty-one-year-old  behind you. “Oh, Naruto, what are you doing here?” She tenderly questioned unaware of the situation.

“Sakura knew too?” Naruto questioned from behind you. You took a deep breath pressing your fingers to mouth before speaking again.

“Asahi, do you wanna go to the park with aunty Sakura?” You cooed to the little man.

“Yeah!” He cried wiggling to get down. Sakura placed him on the ground and held his hand assisting him to walk back towards his room. You watched the two of them leave before turning to your ex.

“I’m gonna go get him ready, then we can talk.” You said before turning and following after Sakura and Asahi. You quickly got him dressed and packed the diaper bag up before leading Asahi and Sakura outside. Sakura placed her hand on your shoulder giving a gentle squeeze.

“I’ll talk to you later.” She said before grabbing the diaper bag and picking up Asahi. You gently closed the door before facing Naruto. You gesture to the couch and follow him to the furniture. The two of you sat there as the minutes passed. Not saying anything.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Naruto finally asked hunched over with his face in his hands.

“I tried to. But you hadn’t responded to any of my messages in so long. So I sent one last message.” You tried to explain.

“I was trying to get over you,” Naruto said turning his attention to you. “We broke up. We both decided on going our separate ways, and it didn’t feel like it if we kept messaging.” With him looking at you, you could see the tears in his eyes.

“I was so tired of trying, and trying, and trying, and not going anywhere. So I quit. And I know. Goodness I know I should have told you. But you were off living your life. And you finally reached your dreams, and how could I ruin that?” You asked tears streaming down your face now too.

“I would have dropped out, I didn’t have to go off a play.” Naruto pleaded with you.

“That is my point.” You responded taking a hold of his hands. “You worked so hard to get there, and I couldn’t take that from you.”

“But it was my choice to make.” He said back grabbing your hands in his and holding tight “You should have let me make it.”

“I know, and I’m sorry about it.” You said falling into another silence.

That’s how you two sat for twenty minutes. Just looking at each other.

“I want to be involved in his life,” Naruto said. “My season is almost over. Then we have a three-month break. And I will be in town for the next two weeks.” He explained.

“I’d like for you to be involved. And for you to officially meet your son.” You said with a smile.

“And I want to get back to where we used to be. I’ve missed you.” Naruto confessed leaning in.

“I’ve missed you too.” You replied with a smile. It was then that Naruto wrapped you up in a bone crushing hug. Things were looking better. Sakura came back with Asahi and you promised to talk to her later. After that, you officially introduced Naruto to his son. And he was a natural! Playing with Asahi brought the brightest smile to your face. Naruto happily sat on the floor and played with Asahi while you got dressed. It was only when you came out from your room when you were greeted with Naruto holding Asahi out in front of him.

“What?” You questioned.

“He- uh- he stinks,” Naruto said while pulling a face, causing you to laugh.

“Your first dirty diaper! C’mon ‘papa’ I’ll show you.” You said dragging him into Asahi’s room. “Welcome to fatherhood, better get used to it.” You said once the poopy diaper had been changed.

That was the start of your family forming again. With more discussing and negotiating, you were able to convince Naruto to keep playing. With Asahi being a year old it would be easy to travel with him to visit Naruto while he was out of town. Not only that, it was easy with your job.

After a few months of dating again, you asked Naruto to move in. He said yes, he was either traveling for soccer or over at your place anyways, so it didn’t make sense to either of you to keep paying rent on a place he was never at. Then, shortly after Asahi’s second birthday, Naruto proposed. You said yes, obviously, and your family was complete.

Now you were twenty-two years old, You finally graduated and got a promotion at work along with your degree. You had a rambunctious two-year-old and a loving husband. It wasn’t the ideal start, but it was the perfect finish.

[thewritewolf]

Inseparable Chapter 14: Sick Day

With Marinette sick at home, it's up to Adrien to make sure his friend is doing okay.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

@ladynoirjuly2019

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Adrien grabbed his bag on his way out, sparing only a yearning glance at Marinette’s empty spot. Apparently she’d gotten sick with something and had to stay home, which would be bad enough on a normal day. What sucks even more is that today Ms. Bustier gave them free time to work on their project. With Nino and Alya pairing off to do research in the library, Adrien was left alone again, naturally.

As he stepped out of the classroom, Nino collided with him and wrapped an arm around Adrien’s shoulder. “Hey, dude! So I’ve got some good news…”

Adrien grinned, his friend’s enthusiasm proving contagious. “Yeah? Lay it on me.”

“I know you were super bummed Marinette didn’t show today, but my girl Alya was just telling me that you could head over there to visit, no problems! It wasn’t anything serious and the worst is gone, so you’re in the clear.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to bother her. She probably wants some time to herself.” He fiddled with his ring, uncertain as they walked through the school’s doors. “Right?”

Instead of an answer, Nino laughed knowingly and patted his back. He sighed when Adrien kept staring blankly at him.

“Listen, dude. Just trust me on this, okay? Marinette will be thrilled that you visited. If you can get some work done while you’re at it, double win, right?”

“Well… If you’re sure she won’t mind…”

Nino lightly punched his shoulder. “That’s the spirit, dude!” He backed away from Adrien, finger gunning all the while. “Good luck, man. I wanna hear all about it later.”

Adrien gave an awkward smile and waved, not sure about what Nino expected to happen. He reached the bottom of the stairs and stood in front of the Gorilla, who was holding open the door to the car.

“My schedule is clear for today, so… I was thinking of visiting a friend? If that’s alright?” He gripped the strap of his bag nervously. Knowing his bodyguard would have to report this to his father he added an excuse that Gabriel would approve of, “We have a project that we need to work on.”

The Gorilla grunted.

“Oh, that won’t be necessary. She just lives over there.” He pointed across the street to the bakery. “I can call when I’m done.”

The Gorilla turned to look at the bakery for a few long moments before nodding and grunting again.

“Thank you! You won’t regret this!” Adrien dashed across the street and ducked into the bakery before the Gorilla changed his mind. Immediately he was immersed in the delicious smell of fresh bread and pastries.

“Oh, hello dear!” Sabine smiled at him as he approached the counter. “Alya mentioned you’d be stopping over. Study partners, hm? I’m sure you two get to spend a lot of time together. Do you remember where her room is?” He nodded as the bell over the door ran behind him. “Good, just make sure you knock first.”

As she greeted her newest customers, Adrien slipped into the back and headed up the stairs.

----------------------------

Marinette was feeling better - admittedly not at her best, but certainly better. In all honesty, she had gone to school in worse shape before, but if she thought this was just a mundane illness then she wouldn’t have stayed home. But waking up to stomach cramps right after something as weird as a power swap with her partner? That left a lot of unanswered questions, questions she had hoped to get answers to today.

And she would have gotten those answers if she hadn’t somehow forgotten that her parents could be overbearing even at the best of times. While them rushing up to make sure she was alright every time they got a break in the bakery was endearing, it made transforming and finding Master Fu impossible. Instead, she just had to while away the day doing some work on different projects she had laying around. At least the day hadn’t been wasted and she could relax a little as she ignored the fading stomach pain.

...Or at least she could until Alya texted her, asking questions about designs. Some prodding later and Marinette discovered that Ms Bustier had given them hours of extra time to work on their projects. Time that she could have spent with Adrien. Time that he ended up spending working alone.

She vented about it to Alya, who started asking her wildly irrelevant questions like, ‘are you contagious’ or ‘are you feeling better.’ The conversation ended with a cryptic, ‘You’re welcome.’ After that, Alya stubbornly refused to respond - Marinette was sure she was probably canoodling with Nino somewhere.

Marinette had to adjust her assumptions when she heard a knock at the trapdoor leading into her bedroom. Maybe her best friend had decided to pay her a visit after all. It was only after she shouted for the person to come in did she remember that Alya almost never knocked.

Adrien rose into her room, his eyes glancing around the handful of posters on the walls. She’d taken many of them down already, but even so she winced a little. Not that he didn’t already know about them, but it still felt private. Those thoughts were quieted when his eyes landed on her and he smiled, bright as the sun. Despite her shock and lingering worry, she found herself smiling dumbly back.

“Hey, boss,” he said with a wink that caused her heart to flutter. “You look like you’re doing better. Well, not that I saw you being sick or anything, but you don’t look sick. Not that I’m calling you a liar! But, uh, you look… uh, nice,” he finished lamely, rubbing the back of his neck.

She looked down at her old pajamas and big T-shirt, felt her hair still up in a messy bun. It didn’t feel like she looked nice. “Th-thanks? So, um… did you want to work on the project or something?”

“Oh, that reminds me!” The lingering awkwardness vanished as he became consumed with excitement. He took a seat on the chaise next to her and pulled his tablet out from his backpack. “Look what I found today!”

She gingerly took the tablet that he shoved toward her and skimmed what was on the screen. It was a scanned newspaper article from about ten years ago. Her eyes widened as she realized it was about a pair of vigilantes in Paris that ran across rooftops and seemed to have superhuman abilities. As she read on, she was a little disappointed that they were apparently more known for just… running around and having fun rather than fighting crime. No wonder she was only hearing about them now - they didn’t do anything!

“Do you not like it?” She looked up to see Adrien looking like a kicked puppy. She rushed to console him.

“No, no, it’s fine, really! I’m just disappointed they weren’t more, well… heroic. That’s all.”

He nodded along. “Yeah, I get that. It’s the most concrete proof of French superheroes, though. And in Paris, no less!”

“Do you want to see if you can find out more about them? I have a few leads I wanted to follow on some people from history that I can look up.”

“Sure!”

He looked down at his tablet, eager to get to work. Marinette allowed herself a few moments to watch him and enjoy the situation before reluctantly turning her attention to the project.

-------------------------

Adrien looked up when he heard Marinette hit her head softly against her table. “Um… are you okay, boss…?”

“None of them!”

“Huh?”

“I had five leads and I can’t say with any certainty that any of them could have been superheroes. The hero part, sure. But I can’t prove they have super powers. The closest I can get is that Joan of Arc is similar to Ladybug, but even that is more of a gut feeling than anything else.”

“Oh.” He frowned. “Well, I’m kinda the same boat too since I haven’t found anything else about this mysterious duo.” Shaking his head, he added, “Not even a picture. Apparently there had been a good one, but some private collector bought it or something.”

Marinette reached past the platter of goodies her parents had brought them half an hour ago, and grabbed her glass of water. “Do you think we’ll be able to do this project?”

“Of course!” He gave her his best winning smile as she raised the glass to her lips. “I know it looks bad, but I believe in you, Marinette. You’re awesome!”

The praise didn’t have the effect he was aiming for since, in her surprise, she spat out the water and ended up with a soaked shirt.

“Gah!” She stared down at herself in a panic before wrapped her arms around her. “Uh, Adrien, could you go downstairs for a minute while I change?”

There was such misery in her voice that his surprise was quickly swapped out for sympathy and understanding.

“Sure. I’ll just… be downstairs then.”

With an iron will, he avoided looking at her soiled shirt as he left and closed the trapdoor beside him. He took a seat on the stairs and pulled out his phone to pass the time. Nino had sent him some texts over the past couple hours that he’d been ignoring in favor of studying. He didn’t feel very motivated to answer him since they were just questions clearly authored by Alya, snooping into what Marinette and him were doing. He’d be glad to tell him if anything besides working had happened, but…

He heard Marinette’s voice from above him. “Okay, you can come back in now!” The trapdoor opened and Adrien started walking through as Marinette continued. “So we aren’t having much luck with our project so I thought we could maybe do some movies. How does that sound?”

“That sounds grea-” Adrien trailed off when he saw what she had changed into, much to Marinette’s confusion. After all, it was only a too-large Jagged Stone t-shirt.

A limited edition shirt that Adrien had gotten months early.

For Ladybug.

[find-the-eyes]

I’ll Try Anything Once: Chapter 20

Written by: Sol, Allegra Edited by: ss

Nick was immediately blinded by the bright Mediterranean sun when he stepped off of the plane in Athens. “It’s warm here,” he laughed anxiously as he slipped off his jacket.

“Yeah,” Alex responded as they walked through the airport. “If anyone comes up to you, don’t say anything.”

“... What?”

“It’s just something you have to learn, Nick. There are certain things you have to do when you’re the child of a diplomat. You’re a public figure.”

“Well-”

“No one will know that you’re not one of my brothers. At least, not here.”

Nick nodded. He felt uncomfortable abandoning his usually secretive life, but went along with what Alex was saying anyway.

“And… you’re going to have your own room when we get to my place. And you’re going to have to sleep there by yourself.”

“That’s…” Nick tensed up as they waited by the automatic doors for their driver. “That’s fine. I guess.”

“I know you’re nervous, but...” Alex trailed off as he spotted the car. “Let’s go.”

Nick sat in the back as Alex made friendly conversation with the driver. He watched the fluffy white clouds against the blue sky as they passed by the dry mountains on either side of the highway.

“Really is beautiful, yeah?” Alex turned around to ask Nick. Nick nodded and returned to his silent observing. He couldn’t help but smile as Alex talked to the driver in a language he couldn’t understand. Nick felt extremely out of place, but in some way, it felt right. More right than it did in Glasgow, at least. As they approached the large gates in front of Alex’s house, Nick realized that maybe this whole diplomatic family thing was more of a big deal than he thought.

“This must be your flatmate?” Alex’s mother asked when she saw Nick trailing a few feet behind Alex.

“Yes. This is Nick.” Alex nudged him to introduce himself. Nick just gave a shy wave.

“It's so nice to meet you,” Alex's mother said with a smile. “Can I get you something to drink?”

Nick shook his head. Alex's mother frowned. “Ah, let me get you some water!” She turned and headed to the kitchen.

Nick looked after her, only managing to choke out a response after she had disappeared from sight. He sighed and put his face in his hands. Alex gave him a strange look.

Alex's mom returned after a few moments with two large glasses of water, handing one to both Nick and Alex. “Thanks,” Nick mumbled, taking a small sip.

“Come sit,” she said with a smile, leading Alex and Nick into the main living room. She turned her attention to Nick as he sat down awkwardly next to Alex on a barely-used loveseat  “So, how did you and Alex meet?”

Nick looked over at Alex instinctively, opening his mouth to speak but not making a sound. Alex stopped himself from rolling his eyes as he looked up at his mother. “We met in one of our classes,” he said, purposely leaving out the fact that they had only formally met when Nick had run off with his guitar.

“I see,” she nodded. “I was very surprised when Alex told me that he was bringing you. I never expected him to be living with anyone else. He's not...you know…” She paused, waving her hands and trying to find the right words. “...Not really accustomed to living with other people,” she finally managed.

Nick nodded, wincing internally. He had no idea how to respond to such a statement, so instead he attempted to speak up. “It's beautiful here.”

Alex’s mom smiled at the response, “Yes, I’m glad you find it nice here. If only Alex would’ve felt the same...” Her gaze turned to her son, a tinge of disappointment hinted at the corners of her mouth.

Alex didn’t seem to be fazed as he waved a hand of dismissal. “It’s not that I don’t think it isn’t nice here, I’m just not suited for your lifestyle.”

Nick had a clue that Alex might not like it that much in Greece, but to be in the middle of a soon to be family argument wasn’t ideal either. He tugged at Alex’s sleeve, hoping he would take the hint that he was in the presence of a guest in his spacious living room.

“Anyway, we’re tired. I should see Nick to his room. Please excuse us, mother," Alex said all too formally, though Nick guessed it was more of a move to mock rather than to actually give respect. Alex's mom didn't even try to hide her annoyance as she bid them goodnight.

Alex and Nick grabbed their suitcases and made their way upstairs. They walked down the hall in silence until they reached a set of doors opposite one another at the end of the hallway. Alex gestured to the door on the left. “This was my old bedroom. The guest room is right here across the hall.”

“Okay,” Nick said, feeling his stomach turn. He hadn't slept without Alex or Steckrübe in so long that the thought of having to spend the night alone was too much to bear. “A-Are you sure...I can't stay with you?”

Alex looked at Nick with sad eyes. “You can't. I'm sorry. They can't find out about us. They'd never let me hear the end of it.”

Nick sighed. He looked into Alex's eyes and quickly pulled him into an embrace. Alex hugged back tentatively, his eyes darting down the hall to make sure nobody was coming.

Nick let go after a few moments. He pushed the door open and grabbed his suitcase, turning and giving Alex a small wave before shutting the door. Alex smiled faintly and headed into his childhood bedroom.

---

A few hours later, Alex was settling into his bed, ready to rest after a long day of traveling and nostalgia for his childhood. Nick, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling the same sweet sleepiness that Alex was. He climbed into the soft, warm bed in the guest room, but couldn’t let it accept him. He tried to fall asleep, but only got as far as closing his eyes. He clutched his panda plushie close to his chest, but it did nothing compared to the comfort provided by Alex or Steckrübe. Nick tried to fall asleep, hoping that a good night’s rest would be provided by the quiet room and beautiful view of the Mediterranean landscape. He stared up at the ceiling, thinking about how it wasn’t too different from the ceiling in the flat, and he could pretend he was home, if… Eventually, Nick fell asleep clutching his panda plushie with white knuckles and a sick stomach.

Alex woke up when he heard noises coming from the guest room that sounded alarmingly similar to some sort of distressed animal outside. He hesitated, but decided to get up to investigate, because if there was anyone in that house who was going to see Nick in a state of panic, it was Alex.

“Nick?” Alex whispered, opening the door to find Nick huddled in the corner of the bed, trying to melt into the wall. “Oh, Nick…” he gave him a sad smile. “Is everything alright?”

Nick nodded and motioned for Alex to come over. Alex reluctantly stepped towards him. “Do you want some water or something?”

Nick shook his head.

“Aw, come on, I think you need something in your system… maybe a snack?”

“N-No, Alex, it’s fine—”

“Water and crackers it is, then.” Alex disappeared to the kitchen for a few minutes and came back with the late night snack. Nick accepted it and started munching on the crackers.

“Are you tired at all?” Alex asked.

“... I was…can’t sleep...”

“I have an idea!” Alex ran across the hall to his room and picked up a children’s mythology book from the shelf. “I’ll read to you.”

Nick smiled and made room for Alex next to him on the bed. Alex sat down and started reading one of the stories. Nick nibbled on his crackers, half paying attention, half just happy to be there with Alex. After finishing his snack, he slid one of his arms behind Alex’s back and rested his head on his shoulder.

“Do you like the story, Nick?” Alex asked, only to find that Nick was fast asleep. Alex’s heart fluttered at the sight of Nick snuggled against him, eyes closed, lips parted, breath calm and quiet. He placed the book on the nightstand beside him, then ran his hand gently through the hair at the base of Nick’s scalp and shut his eyes, inadvertently letting out a long sigh.

Alex cared very deeply about Nick, that much was certain. He thought back on their relationship - how in just a few short weeks they had gone from enemies, to flatmates, to - Alex could hardly believe it - friends. They spent so much time together that Alex could barely remember the beginning of his life in Glasgow, when he had been so alone. He liked his arrangement with Nick, and although he had never come right out and said it, he sensed that Nick felt the same way. At least, I hope he does.

Nick shifted in his sleep, laying his other arm across Alex’s stomach. Alex smiled to himself. This part was pretty nice, too. Alex had never been the type of person who wanted to settle down and be in a relationship, and he certainly hadn’t gone to Glasgow looking for a girlfriend - or a boyfriend, for that matter. But he felt comfortable with Nick. Safe. Do I want him to be my boyfriend? Alex didn’t know. But spending time with Nick felt good, and Alex was nothing if not a hedonist.

Alex’s mind wandered back to the dinner they’d had with Bob and Paul a few nights prior, and he suddenly felt sick remembering his thoughts as he’d held Nick while he cried. Alex still didn’t know Nick, really. Paul’s approach to learning about Nick’s past had been all wrong, but Alex found himself wondering the same things. Why was Nick like this? What could possibly have happened to him in Germany that had nearly destroyed his ability to speak, or to read, or had made him unable to sleep without Alex by his side? Alex didn’t know, but he resolved to get to the bottom of it soon.

Alex looked down at Nick sleeping peacefully beside him, then carefully slipped out of his embrace and tiptoed over to the door. He desperately wanted to stay, but he couldn’t risk getting caught. He blew Nick a kiss and shut the door softly behind him.

[emybain]

After Archenemies 3/?

In honor of not getting on Tumblr tomorrow, here is part 3 of whatever this is to anyone who liked the first two parts. In all honesty idk what this part is, and it might be a little soon for what follows, but I wasn't planning on making this fic long anyways so...yeah. Here is part 1 and here is part 2 if you care. feel free to check out my other works also! enjoy! warning: I dont really edit these that much, so please be kind if you see errors! this is also shorter than what I usually write, just fyi.

Edit: heck i forgot to post the links to the previous parts...ill do it later lmao

Nova’s communicator band had gone off three times in the past hour. She had taken it off and set it on her mattress after it first went off. She didn't need the distraction, especially if that distraction was Adrian Everhart.

“Why are you still staring at that thing?” Nova looked up to see Honey in the doorway of their shared room, leaning against the cracked door frame. She was examining her polished nails. “If you look at it any longer, the filthy Renegade will be able to turn back to normal.”

Nova pushed back the chair she was sitting on in front of Honey’s vanity where Danna’s butterfly was currently trapped. It remained immobile for the most part. When Nova would start to worry if it had died, it would crawl around its little prison. “Just thinking.” About her uncle. About how they would be able to free him from the Renegades. About Nightmare. About a certain Renegade boy.

She closed her eyes, feeling a headache forming at the base of her neck.

“Well, you can think and answer your little Renegade buddies.” Honey gestured towards the communicator band resting on top of a jewelry box. “That ringing is driving me nuts. I can hear it all the way downstairs.”

Nova rolled her eyes, but picked up the band nonetheless. “It’s only gone off three times, Honey. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Me? Not dramatic?” Honey laughed, the sound like bells. “In your dreams, sweet girl.” She strutted into the room, reached over Nova, grabbed a magazine that was open on her vanity, and sauntered back out. Her perfume lingered, stronger than ever. Nova waved her hand in front of her face. Vintage fumes were the last thing she needed for her aching head.

Her communicator band went off again, and she heard Honey yelling from the first floor to shut it off before she did. Nova looked down at the device, scrolling through her notifications. The first one, nearly an hour ago, was from Adrian.

This is last minute, but we’re meeting in the HQ library in about 30 minutes, Let me know when you get here. It’s about Nightmare.

Nova froze. That couldn’t be good. This was it, she thought. They figured her out, and this was Adrian trying to lure her into a trap to arrest her.

Taking a deep breath, she checked the next message, which was sent twenty minutes after the first.

Nova? Are you busy? If not, please respond.

The third one was five minutes after the first.

Of course you’re busy. You would’ve responded by now. Ignore my last message.

The most recent text was sent two minutes ago.

Nova? We’re all here. You’re not dead or something, are you? Please tell me you aren’t because I would be really upset.

Nova snorted, shoulders relaxing in relief. She believed she was safe, for the time being. She bit her lip, thinking of a response.

Hey. Sorry. Turns out I’m pretty sick, and my uncle took anything that could distract me so I could rest.

Nova thought back to a few days before, when she had pretended to feel under the weather in order to have an excuse to leave the visit to Max. She couldn’t stand to be there any longer without being weighed down by the guilt. It was a believable lie. Besides, she didn’t have time to do detective work with Adrian on her secret identity, nor did she have the patience for it. The quicker she and the rest of the Anarchists figured out a way to free Ace, the sooner she could drop the ridiculous Renegade charade.

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want me to come by later to give you some company?

The smile that grew on Nova’s face was inevitable, along with the giddy spark in her stomach. She suppressed it though, and denied his offer, pushing away all thoughts of being able to curl up against Adrian while they did something as mundane as watching a movie.

No, thank you though. My uncle is pretty strict whenever I get sick and doesn’t like visitors. Maybe another time?

She received a response almost immediately.

Definitely! I hope you get to feeling better, Nova.

It was so sweet. Nova’s heart ached. Even though she wasn’t sick, she had a feeling she would feel better soon anyways.    

Thanks, Adrian.

Nova sent the text. She debated on whether or not to send something else. Something came to mind, and she immediately cringed. Then Ace’s words floated through her mind. Earn his affection.

Well.

With a defeated sigh, Nova reluctantly sent a text with a heart.

Sweet rot, her IQ just dropped by 20.

Downstairs, Honey started singing. Nova suspected she was cleaning; she tended to sing when fixing up the old house. Nova groaned. Honey wasn’t a terrible singer, but it did not mix well with Nova’s pounding head. Maybe she was actually getting sick.

Standing from the vanity, Nova brushed off her leggings. The butterfly was moving in its prison, crawling lazily along the side of the glass. Nova bent down to eye level with it. She could’ve sworn it made eye contact with her.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way,” she murmured. “Maybe in a different reality we’d be friends.” She meant it, much as she hated to admit it to herself. Danna was a lot like her; it was a shame they were too alike, for that’s what got Danna trapped in the first place.

Nova sighed and rose back up. She took off her communicator band, then reached for her coat lying on the bed and headed downstairs. Honey’s trilling voice grew louder. She was singing some song about the beauty of the southern countryside.

Leroy was seated in the dimly lit kitchen, surrounded by lab equipment. Nova saw the samples of Agent N she had snatched in the past few weeks. He nodded in Nova’s direction as form of greeting, too engulfed in his work. As Nova suspected, Honey was cleaning. She was standing on a towel on top of the counter, wiping a wet rag across the higher cabinets.

Nova cleared her throat. “I’m going for a walk. You guys need anything while I’m out?”

They both chorused a “No.” Nova nodded.

“I’ll be back, then.”

“Hey, Adrian...um… come check this out,” Ruby whispered hesitantly from the computer across his. Adrien looked up from his communicator band, the faint trace of a smile on his lips from Nova’s last text. The heart was unexpected, and frankly, not like Nova at all, but it radiated Adrien’s body in warmth. The concentrated set in Ruby’s eyes made the smile fade, however.

They were in the Renegade library and archives, doing research on Nightmare. Adrian had about five open tabs about her most recent sightings and activity. One of the tabs was an article discussing the identity of the Anarchist, but the information was of no use to Adrian.

He got out of his chair and walked around the table to stand behind Ruby. Next to her, Oscar leaned over, craning his neck to see the screen. There was an unopened file in front of Ruby.

“So I was thinking about what you told us, about Nightmare being Ace Anarchy’s niece?” Adrian nodded, and Ruby continued. “Well, his last name is Artino, correct?” Adrian nodded again. “I looked up the name, and well, I guess you should see for yourself.” She clicked on the file. It was a report from about ten years ago filed by his own dad, Hugh Everhart.

Four people found dead. David Artino: age 31. Tala Artino: age 30. Evie Artino: age 11 months. One unnamed man: age unknown. Suspected Anarchist or Roach affiliation.

Forensics confirm all deaths were a result of direct trauma from bullet wounds, without prodigy interference. Prints found on the gun matched both those of the unnamed man and also those of Alec Artino (alias: Ace Anarchy).

There is reason to suspect the deaths of the three family members were done as a killing for hire. The motive for the homicide remain under investigation. See the full report as filed by Hugh Everhart (Captain Chromium) here.

Additional notes: The eldest child, a six year old girl, was not found at the scene. Neighbors have reported no knowledge of her whereabouts. A report has been made to the Renegades missing persons unit.

Oscar whistled lowly. Ruby had highlighted the last paragraph. She was watching the two boys, lips pursed. Adrian read the report, over and over again. Something about it wasn’t right.

“Was the girl ever found?” Oscar asked. Ruby answered his question by opening another file. This one was a missing persons form, dated ten years ago. 

Name: Nova Jean Artino

Age: Six (6) years old

Height: Unknown

Weight: Unknown

Description: Black hair, blue eyes, parents were Italian and Filipino.

Status: Not found

If any information is known, contact the Renegades Missing Persons Unit.

Below the information was a fuzzy picture of a girl, taken by an outdated camera probably. She grinned at the person behind the camera, a wide gap below her upper lip where two front teeth should have been. In her arms was a newborn baby, fast asleep in her sister’s arms. Adrian let out a small gasp. He took the mouse from Ruby and zoomed in on the girl’s face. Her features were chubby, but the hard set of her jaw was unmistakable.

“Great skies,” Oscar breathed. “That’s not...it can’t be..”

“It is,” Ruby confirmed, disbelief in her voice. “That’s our Nova.”