#fixing incredibly basic stuff for them

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

Monday work gripe of the week: my reasonably intelligent coworker who is the same age as me could not successfully copy/paste data from one excel sheet to another

[izzy-b-hands]

I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs

(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)

That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)

[racke7]

Purchases that I (as an adult) am very happy with

Title says it all, let's go:

A silent vacuum-cleaner

An extra-thick exercise-mat

A big table-fan

A shower-brush

A computer-mouse with two extra-buttons

Ball-point pen

Needle-and-thread

An external harddrive

A dedicated mp3-player

An electric shaver

Gameboy Color

Bicycle-oil

[genericpuff]

Tbh at this point you should just make your own webcomic app/website because it would probably be 100 times better than whatever going on with webtoon right now.

hahaha it wouldn't tho, sorry 💀

Here's the fundamental issue with webcomic platforms that a lot of people just don't realize (and why they're so difficult to run successfully):

Storage costs are incredibly expensive, it's why so many sites have limitations on file sizes / page sizes / etc. because all of those images and site info have to be stored somewhere, which costs $$$.

Maintenance costs are expensive and get more so as you grow, you need people who are capable of fixing bugs ASAP and managing the servers and site itself

Financially speaking, webcomics are in a state of high supply, low demand. Loads of artists are willing to create their passion projects, but getting people to read them and pay for them is a whole other issue. Demand is high in the general sense that once people get attached to a webtoon they'll demand more, but many people aren't actually willing to go looking for new stuff to read and depend more on what sites feed them (and what they already like). There are a lot of comics to go around and thus a lot of competition with a limited audience of people willing to actually pay for them.

Trying to build a new platform from the ground up is incredibly difficult and a majority of sites fail within their first year. Not only do you have to convince artists to take a chance on your platform, you have to convince readers to come. Readers won't come if there isn't work on the platform to read, but artists won't come if they don't think the site will be worth it due to low traffic numbers. This is why the artists with large followings who are willing to take chances on the smaller sites are crucial, but that's only if you can convince them to use the site in favor of (or alongside) whatever platform they're using already where the majority of their audience lies. For many creators it's just not worth the time, energy, or risk.

Even if you find short-term success, in the long-term there are always going to be profit margins to maintain. The more users you pull in, the more storage is used by incoming artists, the more you have to spend on storage and server maintenance costs, and that means either taking the risk at crowdfunding (ex. ComicFury) or having to resort to outsider investments (ex. Tapas). Look at SmackJeeves, it used to be a titan in the independent webcomic hosting community, until it folded over to a buyout by NHN and then was pretty much immediately shuttered due to NHN basically turning it into a manwha scanlation site and driving away its entire userbase. And if you don't get bought out and try your hand at crowdfunding, you may just wind up living on a lifeline that could cut out at any moment, like what happened to Inkblazers (fun fact, the death of Inkblazers was what kicked off the cultural shift in Tapas around 2015-16 when all of IB's users migrated over and brought their work with them which was more aimed towards the BL and romancee drama community, rather than the comedy / gag-a-day culture that Tapas had made itself known for... now you deadass can't tell Tapas apart from a lot of scanlation sites because it got bought out by Kakao and kept putting all of its eggs into the isekai/romance drama basket.)

Right now the mindset in which artists and readers are operating is that they're trying way, way too hard to find a "one size fits all" site. Readers want a place where they can find all their favorite webtoons without much effort, artists wants a place where they can post to an audience of thousands, and both sides want a community that will feel tight-knit. But the reality is that you can't really have all three of those things, not on one site. Something always winds up having to be sacrificed - if a site grows big enough, it'll have to start seeking more funding while also cutting costs which will result in features becoming paywall'd, intrusive ads, creators losing their freedom, and/or outsider support which often results in the platform losing its core identity and alienating its tight-knit community.

If I had to describe what I'm talking about in a "pick one" graphic, it would look something like this:

(*note: this is mostly based on my own observations from using all of these sites at some point or another, they're not necessarily entirely accurate to the statistical performance of each site, I can only glean so much from experience and traffic trackers LMAO that said I did ask some comic pals for input and they were very helpful in helping me adjust it with their own takes <3).

The homogenization of the Internet has really whipped people into submission for the "big sites" that offer "everything", but that's never been the Internet, it relies on being multi-faceted and offering different spaces for different purposes. And we're seeing that ideology falter through the enshittification of sites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. where users are at odds with the platforms because the platforms are gutting features in an attempt to satisfy shareholders whom without the platforms would not exist. Like, most of us aren't paying money to use social media sites / comic platform sites, so where else are they gonna make the necessary funds to keep these sites running? Selling ad space and locking features behind paywalls.

And this is especially true for a lot of budding sites that don't have the audience to support them via crowdfunding but also don't have the leverage to ask for investments - so unless they get really REALLY lucky in EITHER of those departments, they're gonna be operating at a loss, and even once they do achieve either of those things there are gonna be issues in the site's longevity, whether it be dying from lack of growing crowdfunding support or dying from shareholder meddling.

So what can we do?

We can learn how to take our independence back. We don't have to stop using these big platforms altogether as they do have things to offer in their own way, particularly their large audience sizes and dipping into other demographics that might not be reachable from certain sites - but we gotta learn that no single site is going to satisfy every wish we have and we have to be willing to learn the skills necessary to running our own spaces again. Pick up HTML/CSS, get to know other people who know HTML/CSS if you can't grasp it (it's me, I can't grasp it LOL), be willing to take a chance on those "smaller sites" and don't write them off entirely as spaces that can be beneficial to you just because they don't have large numbers or because they don't offer rewards programs. And if you have a really polished piece of work in your hands, look into agencies and publishing houses that specialize in indie comics / graphic novels, don't settle for the first Originals contract that gets sent your way.

For the last decade corporations have been convincing us that our worth is tied to the eyes we can bring to them. Instead of serving ourselves, we've begun serving the big guys, insisting that it has to be worth something eventually and that it'll "payoff" simply by the virtue of gambler's fallacy. Ask yourself what site is right for you and your work rather than asking yourself if your work is good enough for them. Most of us are broke trying to make it work on these sites anyways, may as well be broke and fulfilled by posting in places that actually suit us and our work if we can. Don't define your success by what sites like Webtoons are enforcing - that definition only benefits them, not you.

[oduvnix-ts4]

⭐️MAKEUP OVERHAUL MOD⭐️

   I finally updated my vanity table overhaul mod! This mod now includes 4 modules, each working on their own, but I recommend downloading them all together!

 1. VANITY TABLE OVERHAUL

   I took into account all the problems with past makeup looks (some makeup looks were not as in the title, and also not suitable for darker skin tones).

   I used incredibly beautiful makeups from TwistedCat and Miiko, which you should MUST DOWNLOAD from the links below (about 10MB total):

♡ Stalker Eyeshadow&Eyeliner ♡ Spiceberry Lipstick ♡ Soft Glam Lipstick&Glitter Overlay ♡ Slayer Eyeliner Low ♡ Prism Lipstick&Eyeshadow ♡ Date Night Eyeshadow&Eyeliner (03) ♡ Dark Hour Eyeshadow ♡ Basic Please EyeLid Eyeshadow ♡ Wing It Eyeliner

   Examples of some overrides:

   I've tested each makeup on different appearance types and skin tones, so everything should look great this time around! But if something suddenly goes wrong - be sure to write!

   Also, all these makeups are applied on the stylist station from the «Get Famous» add-on. Now you can organize a real beauty salon, for this I even made a small fix, allowing you to ask to do hair or makeup of any sim, even strangers!

 2. APPLY MAKEUP MOD

   All these ready-made game makeup, of course, are good, but there are times when we don't need a full makeup, but still want to put on lipstick or eyeliner!

   For this, I made a mod that allows you to choose any makeup, be it eyeliner, lipstick, blush, eyeshadows or highlighter, and apply it individually!

   Now, a new 'Choose and Apply Makeup' menu will appear on your vanity table, clicking on which you can choose the makeup you want:

    I made a large number of different makeup options, from casual to evening. Here we also use makeup from TwistedCat and Miiko (I wrote about them above), which you need to download for this mod to work.

   There will be a corresponding animation for each type of makeup! I also added a new action 'Apply Perfume', which will give a confidence buff to your sim.

This is what applying makeup and perfume looks like:

 3. MAKEUP OBJECTS RETEXTURE

   Various objects are used during the application of makeup:

    I changed some of the objects a bit, making them smaller, and also repainted all the textures:

4. NEW OBJECTS for APPLYING MAKEUP

   As you know, makeup in the game can only be applied with the help of a vanity table, which takes up a lot of space, and costs a lot of money! But in real life, we only need one cosmetic bag and a mirror.

   With my mod, you can apply makeup using the following objects:

    IMPORTANT! Place any of these objects on the table (it doesn't matter how, as long as it is on the surface of the table) and place a chair. Now you can apply makeup anywhere, because you can take the cosmetic bag with you!

   If you download the 2nd module, then with these objects you can also apply perfume and makeup separately!

   Here's how you can now apply makeup by placing a small mirror on your desktop:

✧ DOWNLOAD ✧ 

➀ Vanity Table Overhaul (!!!be sure to delete my past mod if you downloaded it) ➁ Apply Makeup Mod (!!!required Lot51 Core Library) ➂ Makeup Objects Retexture ➃ New Objects for Applying Makeup (!!!download only one file)

❗One of the following DLCs is required for this mod to work:  

✧ «Vintage Glamour» stuff pack

✧ «Modern Luxe» kit

✧ «Secret sanctuary» kit

I really hope you enjoy this mod and improve the routine of your beautiful characters!!! I'll be glad for any reaction you have 🥺🤍

If you can't download from SFS: MediaFire

[birdsareblooming]

bc of the alcohol scene people are FINALLY clocking that Toriel is also kinda shitty. for people who didn't pick up on it this is not new to Deltarune:

Toriel is incredibly stubborn especially about her beliefs and therefore she states very blatently that she is good and Asgore is bad and evil and horrible, meanwhile Asgore himself is a pushover and takes it like a pussy. Because she states it with such confidence people just kinda.. believed her.

Toriel's the one who left and decided to stew instead of actually solving any problems. it took six kids for Toriel to actually try to hold one back. When she comes back like. yeah a lot of this is Asgore's fault but what she says to him then could've been said six dead kids ago instead of basically ghosting him. Even after all of her worry she still doesn't come with you because despite herself and what she thinks, she's just as much of a coward delaying the inevitable as Asgore is.

These themes really continue in Deltarune. While Asgore is definitely too pushy, Toriel refuses to talk to him in any way at all, throwing away his flowers and trash talking him behind his back while also not talking to him at all. Similarly to Undertale she'd much rather avoid and trash talk him than make moves to fix anything.

Even though Toriel kinda does, it's not an argument of who was worse in the situation of either Undertale or Deltarune, if you start counting "sin points" to decide who was worse than you're loosing your media literacy. As far as I can tell at least in Undertale Toriel is just as at fault as Asgore is, even IF she tried and failed years ago and gave up, shutting herself off from the world and pretending it doesn't exist is no solution, and it's almost the same solution Asgore took, even right before he kills you.

We don't know the situation in Delatrune other than Asgore seems to have something he's involved with that Toriel doesn't want to talk about that Carol is "financing", very well could be an addiction of his own.

But I think the blatant alcoholism (that's in Undertale btw, in the alarm clock event she also got plastered) that people who know what alcoholism looks like noticed how Kris (and Susie) act in that scene has made it more apparent than ever that Toriel is an incredibly flawed character and one of her flaws is not being able to see that, something that Asgore does the opposite of where he's always wallowing in self-pity.

Toriel is really good at general mom-isms like making breakfast, taking the kids out, supporting interests, giving hugs, etc. However when actually worrying about Kris' safety and wellbeing she ends up falling short, as people have pointed out when we come home in chapter 4 she doesn't ask why either of them were out so late. Even a controlled state Kris has enough embarrassment and shame about the scene that they hide their face, meaning Kris has shown obvious signs of disapproval before that Toriel has not seen or ignored.

I think that's why her and Sans mesh so well together in an actually horrible way. Sans also likes to pretend stuff doesn't exist and brush stuff off with a joke instead of doing anything until literally the last minute. With how he acts in the scene he may not know, but weather he knows or not he is absolutely enabling her, which weather Toriel knows it or not is why she likes him and keeps him around. Finally a succinct way of saying why I believe their relationship, whatever you believe it is, is a toxic one.

TLDR: the only parent doing a good job here is Rudy unless we learn info later that changes that

[rainrot4me]

Eyeless Jack General Headcannons

Summary: Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jack as a character.

TW: NSFW below the cut, minors dni! Above the cut is sfw! Mentions of gore

Words: 2.3k

A/N: NSFW is reader with female anatomy.

Basic:

- The definition of nonchalant, doesn’t convey his emotions very well at all so he lets his actions do the talking.

- Even though he may put on a front of being calculated and detailed, everything he does is purely instinctual or off the top of his head. He’s never made great plans or thought further on a problem than he had to, relying solely on time or for everything to work itself out. Ben calls it ‘thuggin it out’. He may seem all cool, calm, and collected- but really, he just doesn’t care.

- Drives a brown 1989 Ford F-250. Found it discarded on some old hunting grounds and spent the next 3 years learning about truck parts just to fix it up. It’s nothing pretty and the A/C doesn’t work half the time, but that doesn't stop the proxies from either stealing it for missions or Jeff cruising it to gas stations.

- Loves his alone time. If ‘Do Not Disturb’ was a living being.

- Incredible sense of smell, a blessing and a curse.

- Even though he doesn’t really feel emotionally tied to anyone or reliant on anyone's attention, he would never pass up a good conversation with Jeff or Toby. Finds their problems interesting (and funny).

- Even though he doesn’t have any eyes, he can still see. How? Who even knows? The demon would describe it as more of a viewing like he can detail everything that’s happening, but he can’t physically see it. Cryptic stuff even he’s too dumb to figure out.

- Despite everything, probably the most upkeep and clean member of the mansion. While eating organs and harvesting them can be messy, he doesn’t like the grime and prefers to clean off as soon as he can. The same goes for his clothes and room/office. Surprisingly tidy.

- Not as smart as he likes to present himself. Sure, he’s a medical student with more experience than anyone in a 50-mile radius, but that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing all of the time. Whenever the proxies roll in with serious injuries, the demon shoots them full of antibiotics, cauterizes the wound, and prays it doesn’t get worse from there. He knows what he’s doing, but that doesn’t mean he knows it’ll work 100% of the time.

- A silent panicker. Will absolutely tear his brain to shreds worrying or fighting with himself, but keep a stone look on his face the entire time. Gauging his emotions is like conversing with a brick wall.

- Dry humor. Absolutely will answer your long, emotional paragraph with a thumbs-up emoji.

- In some sick way, slightly prefers the life he’s living now. It may be grotesque and depressing, but his knowledge of the medical field and human bodies is infinitely more broad than it would’ve been. He quite enjoys the freedom he has now.

- Never happier than when winter is fizzling out and the first signs of spring show up. The warmth, the colors, the vibrancy coming back. He can’t get enough of it. Absolutely will get lost just studying the snow melting from the new flower beds.

- Locked in the basement of the mansion at all times. Only comes out to eat or on the rare occasion he’s assigned a mission. The only place he truly feels comfortable.

- Will get oddly emotional when light reflects on the lake just right or the fog settles on the ridge just perfectly. You’d never guess, but he’s a big poetic bum.

- Purrs. Like a cat. Ears flick around like one too.

- With music, he’s a big lyric listener. The song could sound absolutely terrible, but as long as he resonates with the words, will enjoy it anyway.

- Unorganized organization freak. Everything has a place, even if you don’t know where that place is.

- Seriously underestimates just how overtowering he is. He’s nowhere near Slender’s height, but the demon easily doubles in the average human’s vertical. When he was human he was taller, but never like this. He’s still getting used to it.

- Lanky but quick. Limbs and features are longer, but the muscle index makes up for it. He’s seriously fit, but everything is evenly distributed. Serious muscle definition in his arms and back, though. What he lacks in strength, he makes up in speed and agility.

- Enjoys Radiohead, Cigarettes After Sex, Paramore, and Three Days Grace. Will also never admit it, but really enjoy the Twilight soundtracks.

Dating Him/SFW:

“My pet…” “Little thing…” “Pretty thing…”

- Gift-giving love language. Loves to make you things unexpectedly and watch the surprise on your face. Steals jewelry or clothing from his victims to gift to you.

- It takes a lot for the demon to even consider you a friend let alone a potential love interest. But you best believe once he’s decided he wants you, that’s it. You take precedent, anything and everything else in his life takes a step back and you become the focal point. Heaven help if you ever change your mind about him.

- “My pretty thing… my lovely little pet… all mine…”

- Physically can not get enough of your smell. Whether it be sweet or sour, whatever emotion you dwell in, this demon will bury his nose into the crook of your neck and waste away there. It’s intoxicating to him, like an emotional tie he’s bound to.

- Like to study you. Your movements, your voice, the way you react to certain stimuli. Everything about you and your personality just intrigues him to no end.

- Possessive in the, ‘If they look at you, I’ll kill them’ way, but also is sure enough in himself and you to know he doesn’t need to go that far. Would rather lock you away for only him to see, but respects you too much.

- Has a deep-rooted fear of hurting you, so any fight or disagreement turns him distant. He’ll come back eventually, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be comfortable enough to get all touchy-feely again just yet.

- A lot like Edward from Twilight, he wants to taste you the most. It’s seriously a bad habit to nip at your skin or get lost in your scent because he knows how easy it would be just to take a chunk out of you. Has to be very aware and cautious of himself.

- Even though it took a long time for him to be comfortable enough to take his mask off around you, he still gets wildly conscious about it whenever you’re around. Loves nothing more than when you’re caressing his face or kissing his skin because he knows it's genuine.

- For a cannibal, he’s an insanely good cook. Will only cook for you, however. He says it's out of love, but really he knows deep down he wants to control what you eat so you have good organ health. You best believe he’ll have you hitting those core diet needs.

- Doesn’t sleep often, but when he does it's for long periods. The problem is, he likes to completely swallow you with his body and wrap around you, keeping you there until he eventually wakes up. Really enjoys the body heat you provide. Lowkey a small spoon.

- Slouches to your height.

- His favorite time is after a long day, curling up in a big chair with a book and you in his lap. You cocoon in his arms as he leans back, a blanket draped over the two of you. He’s naturally cold-blooded so he would stay there forever if he could.

- “You smell so good, pet… So good…”

- Talks in short, mumbled sentences. The mansion residents started using you as a translator because he would only say more than 3 words at a time around you.

- Absolutely never cared about how he looked before you. You taught him decent clothing styles and now he rocks the ‘dark academia/soft boy’ aesthetic like a champ.

- Made you your own special corner in his lab just because he couldn’t deal with having to be away while working.

- An intense kisser. It’s never soft pecks but full-on mouth-consuming makeouts. He’s a hungry guy who can only be satisfied if he feels like he’s swallowed enough of your tongue and lips with his own. Your lips and chin are absolutely soaked with slobber afterward.

- Firm believer in carrying you. No matter where or how far, he likes to bridal-style haul you around or have you latch onto his back.

- “I could eat you up. Just kidding… yeah…”

- Goes ridiculously insane when he can see the chubbiness on your thighs or stomach. You sitting down or lying out, you best believe he is fighting every demon internally not to take a massive bite on your skin.

Dating Him/NSFW:

- Again, skin. No better than a man during the dark times when you flash just a little too much leg or abdomen. He’s on you in seconds and clawing your clothes off to see more.

- You will never leave an encounter without cum dripping out of you. Refuses to get off anywhere else but deep inside of one of your holes. Call it a breeding kink but his animalistic tendencies just won’t let him pull out. Grunting and panting against your nape as he slams inside as far as he can to keep you from squirming away

- “You can take it, I know you can… Need you full of me… All of me…”

- A greedy kisser. Grabbing your jaw and fucking his tongues into the warm wetness of your mouth, teasing to just push them further past the tightness of your throat. Even when you squirm and gag, he just pushes them deeper, testing your resolve.

- You reach your breaking point longggg before he does. A couple of orgasms deep and he hasn’t even put his cock in yet, just milking your body for all it’s worth. It may be because he has a high sex drive, but it’s mainly because he gets off best when you’re pliable and numb to his touch. It’s a domination thing.

- A pussy worshiper. Much like his adoration for any organ, he really appreciates all of his knowledge of the female anatomy and how good he is at eating you out. If he can, or if you can take it, he’ll press all three of his tongues deep inside and spread your plush walls to his content. Likes to swap between focusing on your cunt and your clit, but mainly both at once.

- Bite marks galore. Has to be careful with how much blood he draws, but you’ll never get by without at least one good bite mark on your shoulder. Likes to possessively mark you all over just for others to see. Same feeling with claw marks.

- There’s some cognitive switch in his brain that flips when he gets to a certain point of desperation, like after not seeing you for a long period or after a particularly difficult day. It’s like a starved creature hungry and desperate for anything. He’ll ravage your body and mind, fucking you both to pure exhaustion or until he physically can’t cum anymore.

- On that note, ruts. They’re seasonal, usually coming around the first two weeks of spring and fall. He can’t control when they show up, but once started, they usually last 3 to 4 days, each day getting less intense. Since it’s such an animalistic ordeal, he loses all restraint or moral compass on how to treat you. Bites, blood, wounds, and injury are all possible. They’re not intentional, but he physically cannot control his mental or physical, blinded completely by lust. Thank god his sperm isn’t compatible with human anatomy, because that’s the only place he’ll cum.

- “I’m sorry- sorry, pet- Just one more time- just one more- Fuck- I promise-”

- Both ankles wrapped in one claw. Two claws overlapping around your waist. Yeah…

- Starts slow, so achingly slow you want to rut your hips and get him deeper. He likes the feeling of entering you, of spreading your plush cunt around his cock and finding its home deep inside. He’ll get faster eventually, but for now, he just wants to drink up the sights and smells of your desperation. That first gasp gets him every time.

- Mating press or nothing else. If you want to try something new, he’ll happily oblige, but the only way he’s truly happy is if your legs are pushed back to your shoulders and his hips are slamming down into yours. He’ll take the occasional doggy style, but only if his teeth are latched on to the back of your neck and holding you docile.

- Could watch your face come undone all day. Loves to see your eyes roll when you come, or the sweat and tears dripping off your cheeks. The dark flush of your skin gets him so hungry he has to physically restrain himself.

- “You’re so gorgeous- so fuckin’ pretty- Ah- Look at me. C’mon, don’t get shy now…”

- One time, after a particularly messy organ harvest, he couldn’t wait to get to you. He was so livid, body practically shaking with excitement when he snuck into your room that he didn’t even have time to clean himself off. Blood (not yours) stained your sheets and skin, messy claws dragging across your stomach and chest to coat you in dark red, his tongues quick to shoot out and lap at the stuff. You, covered in blood and his mess, sent him spinning. That was the fastest he’s ever came.

- Growling, panting, snarling, huffing, chittering, teeth gnashing, LOUD ASF

- Has a size thing. Comparing your hand to his makes him so horny and eager to just pick you up and fuck you. Admires how small and easy you are to just throw around like a doll.

- Absolutely has had sick fantasies of fucking your organs like a fleshlight. He’d never tell you, but the thought of cutting a slit in your abdomen to push his cock into the tangle of intestines and muscles makes him drool. He can almost imagine how warm it would be.

- Gets a high when you squirt. Feels accomplished to be covered in your juices and having you completely ruined for anyone but him.

- “You can take it for me, yeah? Go ahead and make a mess… It’s alright…”

Thanks for reading!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated! 𐚁₊⊹

[milkingtonthethird]

BATBOYS’ reaction to you asking to paint their nails

WARNINGS: fluff, gn!reader, but you wear nail polish

NOTE: DUKE IS HERE. EVERYONE SAY HI DUKE

Bruce Wayne:

- You’re doing your own nails when he walks in.

- Clearly you’re bored, or something, because he can easily pay to get them done professionally.

- He approaches you, gently lifting your hand to inspect.

- “Pretty,” he murmurs, followed by a kiss to your knuckle.

- You grin. “Can I do yours?”

- He considers, even though there’s already a denial on the tip of his tongue. But, it doesn’t come out, because you look really excited at the thought.

- He agrees. And it’s lame.

- A clear top coat. That’s all he’ll let you do.

- Bruce Wayne can’t be seen with sparkles on his hands, even if he doesn’t care what the media thinks.

- He believes it’s too feminine for him.

- They’d probably be chipped immediately given how handsy his nighttime life is, anyway.

- Still, it’s something—you’ll take what you can get.

- He actually comes to you every few days so he’s able to keep it on.

- He does try on black at some point. It looks odd on his large, calloused hands. That’s just him, though.

- The top coat is too unnoticeable for anyone to comment, but his kids are smart, observant.

- “Why are your nails shiny?”

- “Because it makes them happy.”

Dick Grayson:

- He really likes watching you do your nails and is very satisfied when you do a color he recommends.

- Said color most of the time is blue.

- You’re waiting for the polish to dry when you ask, “You want me to do yours?”

- Grayson is open-minded, but he’s also utterly in love with you, so obviously he agrees.

- You’d both have black on your thumbs and pinkies, with that iconic vivid blue on the rest.

- Unfortunately, colliding his fist into jaws and his training does get in the way of keeping them nice.

- Which means he gets spoiled with your attention even more as you fix them. Yay!

- He’s lowkey cocky when he takes down criminals with it on.

- “LOL I just kicked your ass with nail polish my partner put on” ahh mf.

- He’s incredibly defensive if anyone teases him.

- They’re basically insulting you, too.

- They eventually stop because he’s dead serious.

Jason Todd:

- “You look better with it,” he would say upon the offer.

- But he’s equally bored. He’ll agree.

- Black. Pure black. Black hole black.

- He’d make an edgy comment about how it’s his “soul” or whatever.

- He actually kind of likes it. It fits his aesthetic.

- Beats people a little harder if they happen to chip it.

- He’ll let you add a small, red matching heart on a finger.

- Preferably middle. It’s his favorite one.

- He would make snide comments when he’s fighting.

- “They did my nails so pretty, don’t you think?” (Morseo his “fingerless gloves” era.)

- Not that they’d notice. His knuckles are being too personal with their face.

- He’d be like Dick. Why is simple nail polish just so fuckin’ funny?

Tim Drake:

- He won’t necessarily be interested in polish, but rather small designs.

- Like a little flower, or a heart.

- Super simplistic stuff that has him smile when he looks at it.

- You did, as cheesy as it is, a Red Robin one time.

- May or may not have taken forever.

- He’s genuinely sad if they get ruined. You worked hard on them.

- He’d probably apologize because clearly it’s his fault—heavy sarcasm, by the way.

- You remind him that it gives you an opportunity to do more.

- He probably would ignore whomever made comments that weren’t compliments until they apologize.

- He hasn’t talked to Jason in a while.

Damian Wayne:

- “Don’t you have your own nails?”

- You’ll offer to bathe Titus for the rest of the year, and suddenly he’s sitting on your floor while you put a tacky hot pink on him.

- He lets you do whatever, because he doesn’t keep it long. He’s just not into it.

- But if he isn’t doing anything, he won’t take it off until he has to.

- Him texting Jon about how stupid he is with cunty ass nails.

- No one finds out. It’s his little secret.

- And then Bruce forgets to knock one time during a session.

- “Father,” he greets flatly, not looking up.

- You’ve never seen the Batman so…confused.

Duke Thomas:

- He’d be in the same boat as Tim—simple designs.

- Ones that make something with both of your nails together. Like a heart.

- He let you do acrylics one time for shits and giggles.

- “How do people…do things?”

- He’s been trying to open a can of soda for the past ten minutes.

- He keeps the designs absolutely pristine, somehow.

- He’d avoid doing certain things, but he also has crazy luck.

- He’ll bring you new ideas.

- He wears it with pride in public.

- If anyone brings it up in a mocking manner, he’d say, “I think you’re mad because you’re single and I’m not.”

- The time Jason did it, he’d sulk, because Duke’s right. He is mad.

doing their makeup

[antiterf]

Its kind of ridiculous how difficult it is to find critical intersex literature if you don't know where to look.

That said, here are frequently cited things I've found. For the one's that are behind paywalls, I have a Google Drive folder set up to hold them for access. The only things I leave behind a paywall are books by individual authors. They are not organized at all, I'm sorry.

Intersex Variations Glossary by InterACT

Narrative Symposium: Intersex—Narrative Inquiry in Bioethics (NIB) Volume 5, Number 2, Summer 2015.— Trigger warning for intersex genital mutilation (IGM), sexual assault, and medical trauma—it's honestly a lot but incredibly important. (Drive)

A human rights investigation into the medical "normalization" of intersex people - A report of a public hearing by the Human Rights Commission of the City & County of San Francisco

Surgical Progress Is Not the Answer to Intersexuality - Cheryl Chase. - TW for IGM and images of genitalia (Drive)

The Intersex Roadshow, a blog of Dr. Cary Gabriel Costello - Costello is an intersex trans man and tries to bridge the gap between trans and intersex issues

Beyond Binary Sex and Gender Ideology - Cary Grabriel Costello - Chapter 12 of The Oxford Handbook of the Sociology of Body and Embodiment (Drive)

Transgender and intersex: theoretical, practical, and artistic perspectives (book/textbook) (Drive)

Intersex: Stories and Statistics from Australia (Book) (Open Access)

Fixing sex: intersex, medical authority, and lived experience (Book)

The harms of medicalisation: intersex, loneliness and abandonment (Open Access Article)

Intersex: cultural and social perspectives (Open Access Article)

Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR) - Technical Note on the Human Rights of Intersex People. Basically, if you want an easy way to say that doctors are going against human rights by performing IGM.

An experimental philosophical bioethical study of how human rights are applied to clitorectomy on infants identified as female and as intersex (Open Access Article) - People were more likely to support the same surgery on infants labeled as intersex than they were on infants labeled as female.

Caught in the Gender Binary Blind Spot: Intersex Erasure in Cisgender Rhetoric by Hida Viloria - About how cisgender often doesn't accurately express the experiences intersex people have. Costello, mentioned earlier with Intersex Roadshow, coined Ipsogender for this reason.

Introduction for Intersex Activism - A guide for allies

Sex, Science, and Society: Reckonings and Responsibilities for Biologists (Open Access Article)

Contesting Intersex: The Dubious Diagnosis by Georgiann Davis - TW for medical trauma

Spectacles and Scholarship: Caster Semenya, Intersex Studies, and the Problem of Race in Feminist Theory by Zine Magubane (Drive)

Owning Endosex Privilege and Supporting the Intersex Community: WPATH, Intersex Genital Mutilation (IGM), and Sex Variant Bodies by Margo Schulter

The Spectrum of Sex by Hida Viloria and Dr. Maria Nieto

A long way to go for LGBTI equality from the European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights - Before the UK left the EU

If anyone wants to add, feel free! This was the non-medicalized stuff I had saved in Zotero, and definitely not all that's out there.

[midnight-shadow-cafe]

Blurred Lines

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley X Female!Reader

AU: Roommate! Simon x Roommate Reader

Warnings: fluff, reader is lowkey oblivious

Authors Note: I hope you enjoy, i wrote this based off of @machveil’s Roommate Simon (I love their Roommate Simon fics sm pls check them out)

Word Count: 3.2k

Masterlist

MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+

Living with Simon Riley wasn’t something you had planned. It was supposed to be temporary—an arrangement until you found something more permanent. But weeks turned into months, and now, living with Simon felt as natural as breathing. The man was quiet, incredibly organized, and a walking fortress of dependability. What more could you ask for in a roommate?

But Simon wasn’t just a regular roommate. He had a way of taking care of you that blurred every line between platonic and something more. Your friends were the first to point it out.

“Simon does everything for you,” Rachel had said during a game night, chips in hand and a teasing grin on her face. “He’s basically your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you’d said reflexively.

But Rachel wasn’t convinced. “Oh, hun, he pays for your stuff, cooks for you, and even carries your wallet when you’re out. If that’s not boyfriend behavior, what is?”

You’d brushed it off then, but deep down, you couldn’t deny how much Simon did for you. It wasn’t just about groceries or fixing things around the house—it was in the small moments, the quiet gestures that showed just how much he cared.

The grocery store was bustling with life, a chaotic symphony of carts rolling, cash registers beeping, and the low hum of chatter filling the air. The smell of fresh bread from the bakery mixed with the faint tang of cleaning products, a strange but familiar comfort.

You walked ahead of Simon, pushing the cart with an unhurried pace. The wheels squeaked faintly as you stopped in the snack aisle, eyes scanning the shelves for your favorite brand of chips. Simon followed close behind, his large frame an unmistakable presence, almost daring anyone to step too close.

“Stay close, sweet’eart,” Simon’s deep voice drawled from behind you, his tone casual but carrying an edge of authority.

“I’m literally right here,” you said, rolling your eyes but smiling despite yourself.

Simon didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he shifted his stance slightly, his dark eyes flickering to the side as if tracking the movements of a passerby. His protective instincts were always on high alert, even in mundane situations like this.

You reached up, fingers brushing against a bag of chips on the top shelf. It was just out of reach, and you huffed in frustration. Before you could even think to ask, Simon stepped forward, his long arm easily grabbing the bag for you.

“Here,” he said, handing it over without fanfare.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, adding the bag to the cart.

Simon didn’t respond, already busy adjusting the cart’s contents. He moved items around with precision, making sure nothing was crushed or precariously balanced. You noticed the way his brows furrowed slightly, his focus so intense it almost made you laugh.

“Are you always this meticulous?” you teased, leaning on the handle of the cart.

Simon glanced at you, one brow arching. “Someone’s gotta keep things in order, luv.”

You grinned, pushing the cart forward as he fell back into step beside you.

The trip continued like this, an easy rhythm between the two of you. Simon reached for items you pointed out, his broad shoulders brushing yours whenever the aisle narrowed. Occasionally, he’d toss something into the cart without asking—usually something he knew you liked but wouldn’t think to grab for yourself.

When you made it to the refrigerated section, you grabbed a bottle of iced coffee, holding it up for Simon’s inspection. “This one okay?”

He tilted his head, pretending to scrutinize it before nodding. “If it makes you happy, sure.”

You snorted at his mock seriousness but placed the bottle in the cart anyway.

As you neared the checkout lanes, you instinctively reached for your wallet, but Simon was already ahead of you.

“Don’t even think about it,” he said, pulling out his own card.

“Simon,” you protested, “I can pay for the groceries on my own.”

He fixed you with a pointed look, his tone leaving no room for argument. “I’ve got it, luv. Put your wallet away.”

You huffed but obeyed, watching as he tapped his card against the reader with a practiced motion. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this, and you knew it wouldn’t be the last.

On the way back to the car, Simon carried all the bags, his muscles flexing effortlessly as he balanced the weight. He didn’t let you carry a single thing, brushing off your offers with a simple, “Don’t worry about it.”

As you climbed into the passenger seat, you glanced over at him as he loaded the trunk. The way he moved—efficient, steady, and always attentive—was just so him.

When he finally slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine, you couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks for, you know… everything.”

Simon glanced at you, his dark eyes softening just a fraction. “Always, sweet’eart.”

And with that, he pulled out of the parking lot, the quiet hum of the car settling into the comfortable silence between you.

The cool evening air wrapped around you both as you strolled toward the corner store, the quiet hum of crickets filling the silence. The sun had long since dipped below the horizon, leaving the streets bathed in the pale glow of streetlights. You walked ahead slightly, hands stuffed into your jacket pockets, the faint chill nipping at your fingers. Simon trailed just a step behind, his presence a constant, reassuring shadow.

It wasn’t unusual for Simon to insist on walking you anywhere at night, even for something as mundane as grabbing snacks. He always said it was just to “make sure you’re safe,” but the protective way his eyes scanned the empty streets told you it was more than that.

Halfway to the store, Simon suddenly stopped. His boots scuffed against the concrete as he paused, his hand reaching into his jacket pocket.

You turned to face him, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “What’s up?”

Without a word, Simon pulled out a thin chain, the metal catching the light as it dangled from his fingers. The dog tag attached to it swung gently, the stamped letters gleaming faintly under the streetlight.

“What’s this for?” you asked, tilting your head as he stepped closer.

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, Simon raised the chain over your head with deliberate care, his fingers brushing against your neck as he adjusted the tag so it rested flat against your chest. The cold metal sent a shiver down your spine.

“There,” he said gruffly, taking a step back to admire his work.

You stared down at the dog tag, your fingers brushing over the cool surface. It felt heavier than you expected, the weight of it pressing against your skin.

“Okay, seriously, what’s this about?” you asked, looking up at him.

Simon’s expression was calm, but his jaw tightened slightly, like he was choosing his words carefully. “So people know you’re not alone.”

His words hung in the air between you, heavy with unspoken meaning.

You blinked, the realization of what he was implying slowly dawning on you. “You mean… like a claim?”

Simon shifted slightly, his hands finding their way into his pockets as he held your gaze. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

Your cheeks heated, and you looked away, unsure of what to say. The weight of the dog tag was suddenly very noticeable, a tangible reminder of Simon’s quiet protectiveness.

“Simon, this is… I don’t know, kind of intense,” you said, though your voice lacked conviction.

He shrugged, his broad shoulders moving in a way that was both casual and calculated. “Just want people to know you’ve got someone lookin’ out for you. That’s all.”

There was no teasing in his tone, no hint of humor. It was just Simon being Simon—blunt, straightforward, and unapologetically protective.

You touched the tag again, your fingers tracing the etched letters. “Thanks, I guess,” you mumbled, your voice softer now.

Simon nodded once, satisfied, and motioned for you to keep walking. “Come on, luv. Let’s get your snacks before the store closes.”

The rest of the walk was quiet, but the weight of the dog tag on your chest felt oddly comforting. Every so often, Simon’s hand would brush against your arm as he kept close, his presence steady and unyielding.

By the time you reached the store, the initial awkwardness had faded, replaced by a warmth you couldn’t quite place. As you browsed the aisles, the dog tag jingled faintly with each step, a constant reminder of Simon’s silent promise: you weren’t alone, not with him around.

The living room was alive with laughter, the sound of a shuffled deck of cards, and the occasional crinkle of a snack bag being passed around. Your friends, Rachel and Amy, were perched on the couch with their legs tucked underneath them, their eyes sparkling with mischief. Simon sat in his usual spot on the armchair, one leg stretched out, the other bent at an angle, his posture relaxed but commanding as always.

You were sprawled on the floor, leaning against the coffee table with a plate of chips and salsa within reach. The game cards were scattered in front of you, and you were in the middle of a round of some ridiculous party game that Rachel had insisted on bringing over.

“Okay, your turn, babe,” Rachel said, gesturing at you with a grin.

“I swear to God, if you keep calling me that, I’m skipping my turn,” you replied, narrowing your eyes at her.

“Oh, please,” Amy chimed in, her smirk widening. “We all know you’re taken anyway. Right, Simon?”

You froze mid-reach for a chip, your head snapping up to look at Simon. His expression was unreadable, his dark eyes fixed on the game cards in his hand. He didn’t even flinch at the question, though you swore you saw the faintest twitch at the corner of his lips.

“What?” you asked, your voice laced with exasperation.

Rachel and Amy exchanged knowing looks, the kind that only spelled trouble.

“Come on, hun,” Rachel teased, leaning forward. “You two practically act like an old married couple. I mean, look at him—he even came out here tonight just to babysit us.”

Simon, still unreadable, finally glanced up from his cards. “Someone’s gotta make sure you lot don’t burn the place down,” he said dryly, though the faintest hint of a smirk tugged at his lips.

Rachel wasn’t deterred. “See? That. That’s boyfriend behavior.”

You groaned, dragging a hand down your face. “For the last time, Simon and I are not dating.”

Amy raised an eyebrow, reaching for her drink. “Could’ve fooled me. He carries your wallet when you go out, pays for everything, even cooks for you.” She pointed her glass in Simon’s direction. “And don’t even get me started on the dog tag thing.”

“Oh my God,” you muttered, burying your face in your hands.

Simon’s low chuckle rumbled from the armchair, drawing all eyes to him. He leaned back, his posture impossibly casual, as if the entire conversation didn’t faze him in the slightest.

“Can’t help it if I look after her,” he said, his voice smooth but carrying a playful undertone. “Someone’s gotta make sure she doesn’t get herself into trouble.”

Rachel gasped, dramatically clutching her chest. “See? That’s boyfriend talk!”

Amy nodded sagely. “If it looks like a relationship, and it quacks like a relationship…”

You shot them both a glare. “It’s not a relationship. Simon’s just… Simon. He’s like this with everyone.”

At that, Simon raised an eyebrow, giving you a look that made your stomach flip. “Am I now?” he asked, his tone dripping with dry amusement.

“Well, no,” you admitted, stumbling over your words. “I just mean you’re—you’re protective, and…”

“And what?” Rachel interjected, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Protective, attentive, devoted—sounds like a boyfriend to me.”

You grabbed a chip and threw it at her, which only made her and Amy burst into laughter.

Simon let out another low chuckle, leaning forward to set his cards on the table. “You’re fightin’ a losin’ battle, sweet’eart,” he said, his voice a little softer now, a little more serious.

You looked at him, your heart doing that annoying fluttery thing it always did when he gave you that look—the one that felt like he could see straight through you.

“They’re wrong,” you said stubbornly, though your voice wavered slightly.

“Whatever you say,” Simon replied, leaning back again, but there was something in his expression that made you wonder if he thought they were wrong, too.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of laughter and teasing, but their words stayed with you long after Rachel and Amy left. When you glanced at Simon, still seated in his armchair with that calm, steady presence, you couldn’t help but wonder if there was more truth to their jokes than you were willing to admit.

The night had settled in around you both like a soft blanket, the city’s noises muffled by the thick walls of your apartment. The quiet was comforting, but it also felt heavy, as if something was pressing on your chest. You sat cross-legged on the couch, flipping absentmindedly through the pages of a book, but your mind wasn’t really on it. You kept stealing glances at Simon, who was sprawled out on the opposite couch, eyes glued to the TV as he absentmindedly fiddled with the edge of his dog tag.

The air between you two had shifted recently, not in any obvious way, but in the way things felt too comfortable to be strictly platonic anymore. There was an unspoken tension, thick and lingering, like a string pulled too tight, just waiting to snap. Simon’s protective gestures, his little acts of care, had started to feel different. More… intimate.

You cleared your throat, your fingers trembling slightly as you set your book aside. “Simon,” you called softly, unsure of what you were going to say but knowing you couldn’t keep pretending it didn’t bother you.

He didn’t look up from the TV, but his voice was still warm and steady. “Yeah, hun?”

The pet name made your heart skip a beat, and you swallowed. This was it. You couldn’t dance around it anymore.

You hesitated, unsure how to frame the words in your head. “Can we talk?”

Finally, Simon turned his head to look at you, his eyes softening just a fraction. “Sure.” He reached for the remote, pausing the show with a click before placing it on the coffee table.

You took a breath and shifted, sitting up straighter, the weight of the moment sinking in. You had to ask, even though the question terrified you. “Are you… are you doing all this because we’re just friends, or because you like me?”

Simon’s expression didn’t change at first. His eyes didn’t narrow, his lips didn’t twitch with a smirk. He simply looked at you, his gaze steady, like he was weighing your words, understanding their weight.

You felt your face flush, the uncertainty creeping in. You knew you sounded ridiculous, asking this out of nowhere. It wasn’t like Simon hadn’t been there for you in ways that felt like more than friendship—he always carried your wallet, always made sure you were safe, and damn it, he even wore his dog tag around you. But you didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

The silence between you two stretched on for a heartbeat too long. Then, slowly, Simon leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “You really don’t know, do you?” he asked, his voice low and almost contemplative, but there was something in his eyes now—a flicker of something softer than the usual guardedness.

You stared at him, mouth dry. “What do you mean?”

Simon didn’t respond right away. He simply took off his dog tag, the cool metal clinking as he held it between his fingers. You watched as he slipped it off and stood, crossing the short distance between you two with a confidence you couldn’t ignore. Your breath hitched as he stopped in front of you.

“Simon—”

“Luv,” he interrupted, crouching down in front of you. His hands moved gently, taking yours in his with surprising tenderness. “I do this for you because I care about you. More than you think. More than I probably should.”

Your heart raced, and you opened your mouth to speak, but he raised a hand to stop you.

“You’re right, I’m not doing this just as your ‘friend,’” Simon continued, his voice thick with something unspoken, something raw. “I’m doing it because I want to, because I need to.” His thumb brushed over your knuckles, the touch soft, but firm—like a promise.

Your pulse quickened as the realization settled over you like a wave. He *did* care about you. More than you’d ever let yourself believe.

“Simon…” you whispered, your voice trembling.

He gave you a small, almost apologetic smile, leaning in just a little closer. “You’ve been driving me crazy, sweetheart,” he confessed, his breath warm against your skin. “Every time you smile at me, every time I see you taking care of yourself and others, it just… I don’t know how to explain it, but I *need* to be there for you. I need you to know that you don’t have to do anything alone. And… I want more than just this. More than just us hanging out and pretending this is nothing.”

Your breath caught in your throat. The words were all there—sincere, raw, real—but you couldn’t quite wrap your head around them. This was Simon. Your Simon. The one who took care of you, the one who wouldn’t let you pay for anything, the one who wore that dog tag just for you. He wasn’t just your protective roommate. He wasn’t just your friend.

“Do you want this?” he asked, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. It was the first time you had heard any uncertainty from him, and it made your heart ache.

“I… I think I do,” you whispered, your fingers curling around his in return. “I think I’ve wanted this for a while now.”

Simon let out a breath you hadn’t realized he’d been holding, his shoulders relaxing. He leaned in, his lips brushing softly against your forehead, a tender, lingering kiss that left your skin warm.

“Good,” he murmured, his hand finding its way to your cheek, lifting your face toward his. His gaze locked with yours, soft but full of a quiet intensity. “Because I don’t plan on letting you go.”

Before you could say anything else, Simon closed the gap between you, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was nothing like the playful teasing or the friendly pats on the back you were used to. This was slow, deliberate, and full of promise. It was the start of something new, something real.

When you finally pulled away, breathless, Simon’s forehead rested against yours.

“I’ve wanted this for a while too, sweet’eart,” he murmured. “For a long time.”

And in that moment, everything in the world felt right, as though the weight of all the unspoken words, the unsaid feelings, had finally been lifted. You weren’t just Simon’s roommate anymore. You were his. And he was yours.

Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜

[gingersnappish]

A Big Collection of Art Tutorials

I find art tutorials really useful and also, sometimes quite far-flung. I'll come across one cool resource here and another incredibly helpful post in a totally different place, months later. I've been collecting bits and pieces of art advice that ease my way for a long time now, and I wanted to make a post to share some of the good art resources I've come found all in one place! GENERAL RESOURCES The Etherington Bros. have an enormous repertoire of drawing advice on their blog and I find almost all of it spot on! Griz and Norm have an incredible tumblr chock full of tutorials!

Drawing Den is a great tumblr that collects how-to-draw resources! Zephy.fr has some lovely free tutorials on their Insta (their main site is paid, but I've found the free resources to be quite helpful all on their own)

Sycra has a truly wonderful YT channel comprising a zillion vids on practically every topic - he's been going a long time and it's all excellent (his stuff on human anatomy and figure really fixed some difficulties for me)! DRAWING PEOPLE THIS is my favorite basic breakdown on expressions! A HELPFUL WAY to conceptualize drawing hair! People are complex - simplifying with CLEAR SILHOUETTE helps!

Aging or de-aging characters can be rough- THIS HELPS imo! WHEELCHAIRS are easy to get wrong if you don't have one/haven't studied how to draw them - and this is a very helpful remedy!

CLOTHES Hats are difficult to get sitting right and THIS POST helps a lot!

Suits and formal clothing can be A Lot: THIS LAYS IT OUT helpfully!

Historical Menswear is tricky: TRY THIS LINK by Shoomlah

And as always.... DON'T FORGET TO STRETCH YOUR HANDS!!!

(this makes a big difference in the long run, I can't emphasize enough that you oughta try a little stretching on the regular!)

[heartyluv]

Hii I wanted to make a request!! I love your work. I’ve been following it the past few days, and you’ve practically been my distraction during finals. As I’m going through finals right now, I’d like to make a request that is vaguely connecter to exams.

As someone who has been struggling with ADHD her entire life, I find it extremely taxing to focus. These past few days, I’ve studied for hours only to recieve the most average results due to my inability to focus. I end up fiddling with random items on my desk, playing with water from a faucet, zoning out without even realising it, etc, and I’ve had full on mental breakdowns because of it. Thus, I was thinking, is it okay for me to request a Sylus and Caleb fic where reader, overwhelmed by her inability to focus, flops down into their arms and bursts into tears? It doesn’t have to be about studying for an exam— it can be about anything. And additionally (if I may), what if reader mentions to them (especially Sylus) “Now I understand why you don’t want me to get involved in your affairs. I can’t even focus.”

Thank you for your time!

Note: Oh my luv, I’m more than glad to write this for you. I hope this makes you feel better, even if it’s just a little. Know that you’re absolutely amazing and that beautiful mind of yours is just as perfect. Thank you so much for being here. I luv you and I’m incredibly proud of you! I believe in you so much.

Creds to @/cafekitsune for the dividers!

Warning: A little bit of self deprecation, but Sylus and Caleb make it all better.

Caleb

You were supposed to be packed and ready to move out a week ago. Instead, your important items were unpacked and in disarray, your miscellaneous items are all over the place, and you didn’t have it in you to fix any of it.

Every time you picked up a box to start filling it up, you found yourself opting for your phone instead, saying that you just needed a small break. Five minutes of scrolling turned to an hour and an hour turned into you not touching anything else for the rest of the day. You felt defeated, incapable of finding a solution. It made you feel weak.

You and your boyfriend made the decision to move in together and Caleb was handling everything. Being the loving man he was, he didn’t care that you needed more time. He wanted you to make sure you were absolutely ready. He was ready to pay to get your stuff over to him and to send you food everyday so that you could focus on packing instead of trying to feed yourself. All you had to do was put your shit in boxes and you couldn’t even do that.

It was another repeat of this behavior today, but this time, it was so overwhelming that you couldn’t stop crying. It really struck your emotions when you were trying to see what you were keeping and what you were throwing out, but then you got to the point where you wanted to get rid of it all. You wanted to throw out your things, all the plushies Caleb ever won for you, the hoodies he gave you—basically anything that you didn’t already have ready to go, you wanted it gone completely. That was how frustrated you were with yourself and your lack of focus.

When the reality of what you were thinking settled in after you gave yourself a millisecond to calm down, your body legitimately shut down. You fell on your bed in a heap of tears, sobs racking your body.

You were so out of it that you didn’t hear your door being unlocked and open. You didn’t hear Caleb walk into your apartment calling for you. It was only when he called your name in worry when he found you in your room, that the realization of his presence washed over you.

“Baby?” he exclaimed with concern, stepping over the empty and half filled boxes.

You looked up in exhaustion, your eyes red and nose stuffy. Warm tears fell down your cheeks when he sat down next to you, scooping you up. You threw yourself into his strong arms, crying into his neck while he soothed you. His gentle cologne and natural scent calmed your brain in a way you haven’t had in what felt like a long time.

“Talk to me, pretty,” he cooed, kissing your head. “You weren’t answering my calls all day, so I got worried and came to you. What’s going on?”

“I’m so overwhelmed, Caleb,” you choked out, shaking your head from both embarrassment and vulnerability. “I can’t focus, I can’t finish one thing…All I do is leave everything incomplete. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know why it’s so hard…”

“You lean on me, that’s what you do,” he said firmly, his tone laced with love and determination. “You never have to do a thing on your own when you have me.”

“You’ve been doing everything already, and I can’t even do this?” you scoff, your chest tight with emotion. “How can I move in with you, be a good, supporting, and dependable girlfriend when I can’t even pack a fucking box without zoning out..?”

He pulls back to look at you, genuine distress and pain on his face. He hates that you’re talking about yourself like this, that you view yourself like this. He doesn’t care what you struggle with, would never care how much you felt like you had to figure anything out without his help. He would always be your rock, ready to take on all your burdens if you needed him to.

“Then we’ll get it done together.” He holds your face in his hands and you brace one of yours on his wrist, biting your lip from nervousness. “There is nothing that you can’t bring to me, pretty girl. Stop belittling and undermining yourself, because you will always be stronger than you think. I’ll forever be by your side to enforce that mindset, do you understand?”

You nod, your lip quivering because you feel the need to cry again. He brings you close, letting you rest your head on his shoulder.

“Right now,” he whispers, rubbing your back. “I want you to rest and we’ll start handling everything over the next few days. Is that okay?”

“It’s perfect,” you mumble. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this..”

“Don’t even. You have nothing to apologize for.” You close your eyes, feeling the weight of your sadness settle on your bones, making you sleepy.

“I just need you to remember that I am here. I will always be here. Whenever it gets hard, look to me and I’ll show you how easy it can be when we do it together.”

Sylus

You pinched the bridge between your nose when you heard your laptop ping with a new notification.

Another email?

Your job had been more demanding than usual lately and you were finding it hard to keep up. Typically, your workload was fair, but you had times where it would get like this—where no matter how you planned to complete something in a certain amount of time, the expectations kept piling and piling.

When it got stressful, you found it incredibly difficult to focus on the important tasks at hand. You’d respond to emails later than intended, you couldn’t retain the information you were reading even if you looked it over more than three times, and you couldn’t stick with the work at all in the first place.

Instead of doing what you needed to, you found yourself just staring at the screen for long periods of time or trying to find something to give your mind a break, only to never return to what you were supposed to.

You’d click your pen over and over and start to waste your post-it notes by doodling random things. You couldn’t do it anymore and the longer you waited, your work only grew.

As you sat at on the floor, the coffee table covered in incomplete paperwork, another message came through. In fact, it was three. And what were you doing instead of keeping up? You were watching the damn TV. And at this point, you couldn’t do it anymore.

Your head fell in your hands, wet tears gliding down your arms as you felt a headache bloom in your temples. Your inability to focus was costing you, but you couldn’t correct it, no matter how hard you tried.

As your heavy heart beat rapidly in your body, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked up to see Sylus looking down at you with his perfect brows furrowed in confusion. He must’ve just finished his work call. At least he was getting things done, you thought briefly.

“Are you overworking yourself again, sweetie?” He gently grips you and the small amount of pressure grounds you, just a little.

“The opposite,” you push out past your tears. “I can’t focus on anything. I haven’t been able to get one thing completed…It all just keeps coming, Sy…”

His ruby red eyes look over you like he’s scanning your body for all the things that are troubling his kitten so that he can eradicate it. He holds his hand out, tilting his head to tell you to stand and come to him.

When your soft hand glides against his large one, he helps you stand.

“I wish you didn’t punish yourself for being human,” he says softly, bringing you close to his hard body. “Perhaps you need to focus on yourself for a little while before you try to give your all to something that can wait.”

He sits on the couch, gesturing for you to climb into his lap. You inhale deeply, feeling the desire to cry spark in you again and can’t control the sob that juts out as you straddle him. He holds your jaw in his hand, using his thumb to brush away your tears.

“I envy and loathe that brain of yours sometimes.” He smiles at you, simply admiring the woman before him.

You press yourself against him, wrapping your arms around his neck. The more you think of what you need to do, the more the tears flow. He wraps you tightly in his arms, knowing that his weight and strength are one of the only things that can make you feel like you’re still you.

“All the times I wanted to help you with your business and your work,” you sniffle. “Now I understand why you tell me no. I get why you always hesitate. If I can’t focus on my own work, how could you ever be able to depend on me? I’d be a liability instead of an efficient addition…”

“Stop.” He leaves no room for argument. “Your value to me will never be based on anything related to something as unimportant and trivial as work. I don’t tell you no because I believe you’re incapable. I tell you no because your safety, peace of mind, and happiness, will never be compromised for the things that I need to do or the things I need handled.”

When you squeeze him tighter, he reciprocates, kissing your neck as you melt into him.

“I just want to do my best.” The salty tears that linger fall onto his shirt, but he’d catch every single one in his hands if it meant he could absorb the things that bring you distress.

You continue. “But how can I when I can’t bring myself to stay on task, Sy? Why do I have to be in my own way?”

“Your best is always delivered because it is being done by you. Nothing you do is mediocre. It never could be.” It’s quiet for a few seconds as he gathers the right words to say.

“You treat yourself as if you’re a superhero instead of a person who needs to make sure that she’s just as catered to as the work she’s doing. Remove yourself from the confines of these unrealistic expectations and lean into the reality. That you are significantly more important than any email,” he kisses your jaw. “Than any task. Than anything that does not serve you in the moment.”

Your breath settles as you digest his words, letting his affirmations seep into your very being. You know he’s right, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling like you’ve failed yourself. But if you listen to him, perhaps you can dig yourself out that hole and keep yourself out of it.

“Let me help you come back to who you are, kitten.” His deep voice rumbles, making you shiver. “You were never intended to do it by yourself.”

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Forgot to say, Childhood Epilogue is over!~

The Patreon demo is now 160k+, and im currently just polishing it up before it goes to the public. When it releases is still unknown, and dependent on how well the final two patches play nice lol

Patreon <- If you can't wait, it's there! I'd love and appreciate the support!

As of right now, I'm fixing up the Relationship tab and the Character Search Function, so that you can search up a character's name or as specific detail to find them in case you wanna learn more about them or need a reminder on who tf they are lol. Basically, Character Profiles will be in here.

It's just... incredibly fussy...

After that, I needa include the new Codex (a much more compact and leaner version of the old one that doesnt overwhelm readers) so that you all have the complete package.

Following the Childhood Arc, we'll get the Upbringing Arc in which we choose whether to begin an education focused on being a warrior (Squire Route), or to continue our royal education (Princess/Princess).

The Upbringing Arc is where we'll start seeing alot of the old 300k content but in new form, with new characters. And I must reiterate, we begin the Upbringing Arc at 14!

(I dunno, at 14 I can see way more stuff being plausible, specifically fights and stuff ;D so it helps me as a writer BIG TIME)

You'll have three different casts of characters for the Upbringing Arc.

(Here's Prince/Princess)

(Squire)

And with the three different routes, you get three different conflicts to resolve!

That's all for now, dont wanna share too much in one post or itll get super long.

I'm positive that i've posted about this before though, on both Discord and the free Progress Reports on Patreon! So if you wanna learn more, search around, ask around, in both!

That's all, thank you guys!

[cececat]

STH FanStory Recommendations:

As well as writing, I have found myself also reading an awful amount of Sonic-related fanfiction and comics recently… So, I thought I’d share a few of my favourites in case anyone else has found themselves hyper-fixating over this fandom like I have recently 🦔

I’ll try to put them in sections but please note that quite a few of the topics tend to overlap. Oh and also, there happens to be an awful lot of Sonadow shipping too, because even if it’s not always the key focus in the story, it always seems to make its way into the things I consume now apparently 😅 So I’ll be sure to tag with 💙🖤❤️ if that’s relevant.

I hope you like this list (it took quite a while to put together) and be sure to show all of these stories and creators some love! 👇👇 👇

And obviously I had to start this list by plugging my own fanfiction stories, because I've been putting so much work into them and they will be updated regularly, while also making lots of other stuff as well... So please follow and/or subscribe for that... 😉 archiveofourown.org/users/cececatcreates

Live Action Universe:

Concord by EvieNyx (@evienyx) - [Complete] 💙🖤❤️ Focuses on Shadow after the third SCU movie. It’s really cute, and I feel like it accurately portrays movie-Shadow’s thoughts and memories, mixing together elements of the films with fan theories and other STH media canon.

Project Guardian by AealZX @aealzx - [Ongoing] Again, after the third SCU movie (there’s quite a few of them 😅) but Shadow is taken in as a fourth Wachowski sibling, who has to recover from severe injuries. Some art is included, and it’s just really sweet all-in-all.

Secrets In Our Quills by @nebrasska-alasska - [Ongoing] 💙🖤❤️ I’m sure many of you are already aware of their amazing stories, but this one is the longest so far, and also the closest to being completed. But if you like Sonadow slowburn and plenty of gay fluff, you should definitely read all of their incredible fanfics.

A Junk Yard Of Possibilities by CrazyForClones (@crazyforclones) - [Complete] This story looks at what happened to Agent Stone after Dr Robotnik’s death and focuses on the potentially adorable friendship that could blossom between him and Tails.

Family Loading… Please Wait by Humanities_Handbag ( @humanityinahandbag) & Invader_Sam (@smerfols) - [Ongoing] This quickly became a favourite, as it did with many others. 💕 It starts all the way back with the Wachowski’s adopting Sonic and then Tails and Knuckles and eventually Stone and Shadow, and it’s just the biggest, cutest family dynamic.

What Makes Us Who We Are by EmmaSmoke ( @emmasmoke8) - This is about the Mobians doing certain things their Earth animal counterparts would naturally do. My favourite parts are definitely Tails doing adorable fox things and Tom and Maddie trying to figure out what the heck all their anthropomorphic alien children are doing. 😅

Suspended by CheetahBoy (@90sfr3sh) - This looks at what could have happened if Sonic and Tails didn't get rescued by Maddie and Rachel during the second film. It's such a cool concept, I'm very excited to see what happens next! 😁

General / Alternate Universes:

Sonic Wave by Sharp_Silver (@sharp-silver-fanfic) - [Ongoing] I really love this story! 💕 It’s basically a full retelling of the STH universe lore, taking elements from all different bits of media. It’s been crazy good so far, so please give them your support!

Weird Science by satan_official - [Ongoing] 💙🖤❤️ This one is really interesting and it sort of makes me think of Equestria Girls (for any MLP fans out there!) but instead it’s Sonic and Shadow who are stuck in human bodies on the human world. It’s a bit different but really great so far 😁

Fixing Fractured Worlds We Briefly Broke by TheLittleStar_tm - [Ongoing] 💙🖤❤️ This is a fellow Prime fanstory, focusing on the trauma of all the Green Hills characters we already all know and love in the aftermath of season 3. 💔

Boom To Another Dimension by Gamerblade - [Ongoing] Explores what could happen if the SCU Live Action film characters were sent to the Sonic Boom universe, with pretty regular updates being uploaded so far. 😊

Into The Tailsverse by TheCatCacoon - [Ongoing] This one has a bunch of my favourite little two-tailed foxes, and, as someone who is also exploring bringing different Miles Prowers together, it’s intriguing to see how someone else writes these characters 🦊

Culture Shock by foggystarrs (@foggystarrs) - [Ongoing] 💙🖤❤️ Purely a Sonadow fanfiction, but it looks at hedgehog / Mobian courting behaviour and is just really cute 🥰 If you are a fan of oblivious gay and alien hedgehogs, you’ll probably love this one.

Others / Comics:

Sonic Desolation by Wren Rivers (@sonicdesolation by TrenchCoatGecko) - [Ongoing] This is a crazy detailed comic set around the events of the Sonic Forces game where Sonic is struggling with PTSD from what Infinite did to him during his imprisonment.

Heart Of A Monster by SuperEmeralds (@the-heart-of-a-monster by @superemerarts) - [Ongoing] Another insanely detailed comic, which is a retelling of Sonic Unleashed. Its so well done, plus there's a gentle sprinkling of platonic Sonadow.

Team Dark Supernova Odyssey by @sharpedgedfool (@teamdarksupernovaodyssey) - [Ongoing] This is a space opera comic revolving around found family and adventure themes, set as a hypothetical spin-off to the Shadow the Hedgehog video game.

Sonic Boom Revisited by @multiisketch , @mama-qwerty. & @star-stages (@sonicboomrevisited) - [Ongoing] This comic is amazing. A bit darker than the original series, but has just been so gripping so far. Regular updates too! Definitely recommended! 👍

Second Chance by @sumju - 💙🖤❤️ - Who doesn’t love a Sonadow comic?? Plus Tails is adorable as usual (and reminding Shadow of Maria 😭) so that’s an added bonus 🧡

Infested by @flightyalrighty - [Ongoing] Viewer discretion advised for this one, it seems pretty dark...

Ask the Sonic Verse by @verizzafai (@asksonicverse) 💙🖤❤️ - [Ongoing] This is a fun, silly ongoing series which focuses on different versions of Sonadow all being stuck in the same room and getting sent questions from the audience.

Low Light by @verizzafai (@soniclowlightau) 💙🖤❤️ - Only a few pages so far, but looks very promising!

Broken Future by @teamchillidogs 💙🖤❤️ - [Ongoing] A tragic re-telling of an alternate ending of Sonic Adventure 2.

Silver's Parent Trap by @evilgenius-prower 💙🖤❤️ - A silly AU where Silver is actually the adopted future child of Sonadow and goes back in time to try and save his dads lives.

Eggsperiments by @prince-less - This is a new concept so there's not much content about it yet, but I really hope it becomes either a proper comic or fanfic or something similar, because I'm such a sucker for alternate stories of Sonic and Tails being the best brothers, and this a really cool idea 🥺

Sonadow Future by @torusonicpilled 💙🖤❤️- [Ongoing] Another newer one, with a few fanfic chapters and a few comic pages, but they've already got me interested from the idea that Tails can be resurrected, so I'm excited to see where it goes next ☺️

Sonic & The Olympus Heroes by @miitarion - Not sure if this will be continued as it was only shared quite recently, so might just be a one-off, but the art is incredible; Definitely worth a read! ✨

@mercurio-shadowz - They've not been following a particular storyline, but their art and short comics (especially about Shadow being a closeted gay disaster) are awesome. 🤩

Incomplete / Unfinished:

These are a bunch of stories that I really grew to love but they either stopped too long ago and so are presumably forgotten about, or may have been abandoned entirely and will likely never receive any conclusions. I’ve included when they were last updated, but only read these at your own discretion! ⚠️

• Can’t Defeat A Genius Without Taking His Brain by xenoon [4 months] • Deepest Desire by Tirainy [5 years] 💙🖤❤️ • Mad About You by Cherivide [1 year] 💙🖤❤️ • Sonic The Second Speedster by ItsZaira [1 year] • Sonic the Vagabond Hedgehog by @trekkerac (@tatck) [1 year] - This quickly became a favourite; Sonic and Tails' relationship is so adorable 😭 But you might only want to read the first issue and think of it as complete, since the second issue isn't complete and hasn't been touched for a year or so... 😔

I've tagged as many people as I can and might come back to this list later if I find more that I enjoy, but for now I think (hope!) it's mostly up to date 💖

[acstation206]

I messed up. /j

Introducing...

THE AMAZING DIGITAL ARCADE PARTY!

Yeah, that's right, I caved in.

Basically the exact same show except its established lore and setting is more largely inspired by archive compilations of popular vintage arcade games of the 80s and 90s such as Pac-Man’s Arcade Party, as well as the different takes within the sci-fi / fantasy genre by the likes of Wreck-It Ralph, Tron: Legacy, and Infinity Train. 

==

= BACKGROUND (in a nutshell) 💿 =

In an attempt to save their dying business, C&A developed and manufactured the first hybrid arcade game of its own kind that combined other popular arcade games and home console games with virtual reality. However, just as the company’s luck was turning around, numerous lawsuits from game companies by the likes of Nintendo and families were filed against the company for their product, from apparently “ripping-off” Super Mario Bros. in its entirety to causing many children to either inexplicably fall unconscious or suffer from amnesia after the cabinet’s headset was put on. Just then, as C&A announced they’ll be temporarily recalling the product to fix its issues, a shocking discovery was already made by investigators that would soon bring the company to its demise: the game’s AI had gone rogue, and once a human mind dies from losing one of the games in any way, they are either permanently reincarnated as a personified cartoon character of themselves or just straight up die in real-life depending on the outcome.

==

= ART N’ STUFF 🎨 =

(might wanna make a separate masterpost for that in the future but oh well)

NES Ragatha

Pomni and Caine redesigns

==

= Q&As and BOUNDARIES (sort of) 🎙️ =

"Are there any plans to make a full webcomic out of this?" - Uhhhh, mayyybe? I'm not entirely sure, honestly. While there may be a few side comics and artwork from my head I want to get out sometime, I don't really have much plans for this AU that'll be worth telling a full story right now since I feel there is plenty of things that I've yet to figure out and develop in a matter of time, particularly the setting and characters (especially considering the OG show itself has only 2 episodes out as of writing and I only have mobile apps like ibisPaint X to make this all possible at the moment).

"Can I make fanfics and OCs for this AU?" - Of course! I've seen a lot of incredible things from the community, especially in regards to alternate universes, so you're absolutely more than welcome to share whatever's on your mind as long as your heart's in the right place. I can't really guarantee I'll see every bit of it since I do have some personal biz of mine to take care of at any moment, but I'll be happy to reblog them whenever I get the chance. Just tag me and we all good. :)

"Are there any canon ships in this AU?" - Yes. Yes, there are. Well, only BunnyDoll (Jax x Ragatha) to be specific. HOWEVER, you are free to ship whoever you want here! Showtime (Caine x Pomni), ButtonBlossom (Pomni x Ragatha), it's all okay. The choice is yours, a romantic buffet! (Plus, depending on the quality of my writing, I'm not even planning to dwell too much into it for now, aside from the side comics that will.)

==

That's all for right now. Enjoy! :)

[scoutofmymind]

hey loved your fics you are incredibly talented. i have a scene picture some angst reader is kinda like jo march if u watched little women and luigi is laurie in that one hill scene. basically reader prioritizes acads because of her upbringing - high achiever, academic validations, the whole package and luigi somehow is the same but he compels the reader in a magnetic way because luigi gets to be so carefree and awesome about it and turns out luigi and reader have a common thread and it's turning out rlly good but then reader is slightly scared of commitment in a relationship dare i say? because it was all acads for reader even though there were dreams of having a relationship, it all seemed abstract and unreal!! and the angst comes when luigi confesses to reader and reader reacts very defensive i suppose spitting out word vomit enumerating reasons why luigi shouldnt like her and how he's too good for her and luigi just shuts reader up by pinching their cheeks and holding them steady saying i want you all of you all that sweet stuff...this is just a thought i want to say i admire you heavily your writing is pivotal

Without Me — { Luigi x Reader}

Content: SFW, angst, yearning, pining, best friends, purest love, summer, unrequited, lowkey gut-wrenching (sorry)

Wc: 6,843 (I could not stop writing)

Notes; Before we begin, I have to say, anon, I very much enjoyed writing this!! And thank you so much for sending me this request! ✨ there are only a couple bits of dialogue that match the hill scene, but I wanted to throw them in there!

This is lowkey a mini-fic, so enjoy!

Side note: If anything is badly edited, I will likely come back to do some cleaning up. But maybe not. Also I’ve started picking songs to include in requests wherever they may fit in. I want to mention too that backstory is something I just simply can’t leave out when it comes to angsty or emotional scenes, so I’m sorry I literally can’t shut up.

The cicadas weave their summer hymn through the gentle lap of water against stone, your body stretched across whisper-soft grass beside the reservoir.

This spot holds years of you both — echoes of skinned knees and bruised elbows soothed by cool spring water, of childhood dares and teenage secrets.

"You never swim with me anymore." Luigi's voice carries no accusation, just a quiet observation that somehow makes it worse. You can picture his expression without looking —that gentle, knowing thing that always sees too much. "All you do now is torch yourself in the sun."

Your back peels away from the grass, elbows bent to prop you up. Through his borrowed sunglasses — because of course you forgot yours back at the house, and of course he had a spare —you study him.

He's summer personified: water-darkened hair curling at his temples, shoulders golden in the early evening light, wearing a smile easy as breathing.

"I just don't want to get my hair wet, Lu." You say it with the comfortable certainty of someone who's had this exact argument a hundred times before.

"Well, don't then." His retort is quick, familiar. He moves through the water with an easy grace that somehow makes the old reservoir look more inviting than it ever has, though you'd never admit it.

Your shoulders are painted with freckles from all these summer days — chasing chickens in the fields, racing bikes into the city with him riding at your back, his presence as constant as the seasons.

"But then when I get out, I'll be cold." The words float between you like lazy dragonflies, and Luigi just shakes his head, spattering droplets that catch the light.

He pouts, but not like you do.

Where your pouts are theatrical productions, his is a quiet thing — eyebrows drawn together in thought, bottom lip pulled inward instead of jutted out dramatically. His gaze fixes downward at his feet beneath the crystal-clear water, methodically toeing one stone over, then another, like the placement of each pebble might solve some grand puzzle.

You watch him wage his silent war of reorganization, using nothing but his ten toes as construction equipment. It's such a Luigi thing to do — finding the smallest tasks to occupy himself instead of splashing around like he usually does, trying to tempt you in.

"Bet the water feels incredible," he murmurs, more to the stones than to you. His toes have created a perfect semicircle now, a tiny amphitheater beneath the surface. "Like that lemonade your mom makes — you know, the one with mint?"

You do know.

The kind she only makes when the temperature crawls past ninety, when the air feels thick enough to chew. Like today. You can almost taste it — tart and cool and perfect — which is exactly what Luigi intended with that particular comparison, the sneak.

"You're not as subtle as you think you are," you inform him, but you're already sitting up straighter, your legs beginning to tingle from staying still too long in the sun.

The grass has left impressions on your skin, tiny crosshatched patterns that Luigi always says look like secret maps, his fingers drawing lines upon them.

He doesn't look up from his underwater construction project, but one corner of his mouth quirks upward. "Never claimed to be subtle. That's your department, avoiding the water like it's personally offended you."

"The water hasn't offended me," you say, though you draw your knees up to your chest, putting another inch between you and the shoreline. "We have a mutual understanding. It stays there, and I stay here."

"Mhm." Luigi abandons his stone circle, wading a few steps deeper until the water laps at his knees, stood there in his trunks, the cobalt blue ones that hit just above his mid-thigh. "And how's that working out for you? Enjoying your dusty patch of grass while I'm out here living like a king?"

The problem is, he does look a bit regal out there, all long limbs and easy grace, like he was born for summer days and spring water.

You've known Lu since you were both gap-toothed and gangly, but sometimes — like now — he seems to have grown into himself while you weren't looking.

Yet, your own limbs still feel too long, too awkward, like you're wearing a costume that doesn't quite fit.

Meanwhile, Luigi wears summer like a second skin, all easy movements and natural grace, as if the universe decided to polish him up while leaving you in your perpetual state of stumbling through doorways.

"A king of minnows, maybe," you counter, but you're already uncurling, letting your feet stretch toward the water's edge. Not to join him, obviously. Just to... test the temperature.

"Ah," he says softly, watching your toes creep closer, his voice taking on a funny narrators tone, an accent thrown in that sounded similar to his fathers. "The snail emerges from her shell."

"Shell-less snails are just slugs," you inform him primly, but dip one toe in anyway. The water isn't as cold as you expected — it never is, but that doesn't stop you from putting on this show every single time. "And I'm neither."

"No," Luigi agrees, dropping the accent but keeping that amused lilt in his voice. "You're more like- like one of those hermit crabs. The ones that think really hard about switching shells but then just stick with the same one anyway."

You splash water at him with your foot, and he doesn't even try to dodge. "Fuck, Lu —That's the worst analogy I've ever heard."

"Is it?" He takes a few steps backward, deeper into the water, like he's laying out a trail for you to follow. "Because you're still sitting there, thinking about coming in, just like you do every time.“

Luigi could easily remember all the days spent here, in this very body of water together — the secret collection of precious gems that were really just polished river rocks, the fossil that turned out to be an old bottle cap, and that infamous river snake from an overturned stone that had you shrieking and refusing to dive under for weeks.

"Can't be thinking about doing it if I'm already doing it, Lu." You roll your eyes, your shins now lapping gently with clean, cool water. The trees droop overhead like nature's own parasol, their leaves casting dappled shadows that dance across your shoulders.

He's quiet for a moment, watching you with an expression you can't quite read. And then. “Remember when we thought we found actual dinosaur bones here?"

"You mean the plastic fork?"

"A very convincing plastic fork."

The water feels like silk against your skin now, and you find yourself wading deeper without really meaning to. It's muscle memory, maybe — your body remembering what your mind keeps second-guessing.

"At least I wasn't the one who tried to sell it to the museum.” you remind him, the water now swirling around your waist. Each step stirs up tiny clouds of silt that disappear into the clear water.

He splashes in your direction, grinning. "We were tweleve! And Mrs. Henderson at the museum was very nice about it."

"She gave you a cookie and a lecture about scientific integrity."

"Exactly. A win-win."

You're deep enough now that you have to lift your arms to keep them dry, though you're not sure why you're bothering. Your bikini is already clinging to you, and that familiar weightless feeling is starting to take over — the one that always made you feel brave before.

"You know what your real problem is?" Luigi quips, but this time his voice is gentler. "You forgot how to play."

The words hit harder than you expect, maybe because there's no teasing in them now.

Just truth, floating there on the surface like a leaf.

"I didn't forget," you say quietly. "I just- I put it away somewhere."

The look in his eyes tells you exactly what's coming, but muscle memory kicks in before you can retreat, your arms already up in defense position as he sends a massive splash your way, the arc of water catching sunlight like scattered diamonds before it hits you full in the face.

"Luigi!" you shriek, but you're already laughing, already moving. Your soul remembers this dance even if your mind's been trying to forget it, and the water parts easily as you lunge toward him, years of practice making your movements swift and sure.

He tries to dodge, but you know all his tricks — the way he always feints left before going right, how he can't resist staying just within splashing range.

The water battle that ensues is immediate and fierce, both of you laughing and gasping, sending waves in every direction, limbs smacking into each other at times, your body trailing away from his while he charged closer.

"See?" he manages between splashes. "The Queen of minnows!”

You're about to respond when your foot slips on a smooth stone, and suddenly you're going under.

For a split second, panic flares — but then the tranquility and silence envelops you, and it feels like greeting an old friend, your eyes open underwater, seeing the filtered sunlight create shifting patterns all around you, and suddenly you remember why you used to love this so much.

When you surface, pushing wet hair from your face, Luigi is watching you with a grin, his sunglasses pushed away from his face and atop his head instead, nestled in his damp black curls. “You got your hair wet.” He gives you one last gentle splash, his grin so carved into his features it may as well be everlasting.

Luigi, the son of Marco Mangione, whose genius lay in transforming his grandfather's modest Milan carpentry shop into Mangione Artisan Living — now a name whispered in the same breath as Fendi Casa and Bottega Veneta's home collection.

When Marco married Sofia Bernardi in the 80’s, a celebrated interior designer, they moved to America, the local papers painting it as another wealthy foreigner's passing fancy — this modernist villa rising among cornfields and weathered barns.

But Marco had seen something in these hills that reminded him of Tuscany, in the calloused hands of local woodworkers that echoed his grandfather's.

The Mangione Mansion stands like a slice of northern Italy transplanted to American soil, with its stark geometries softened by groves of imported olive trees and terraced gardens.

It's a world away from your family's farmhouse, where the paint peels in honest patches and the screen door creaks a familiar welcome, yet Marco moves between these worlds with effortless grace, discussing the merits of different wood grains with your father across the fence line, or clearing out your mother's farmer's market stall of preserves, declaring each jar Perfetto, just like my Nonna's! with the same genuine warmth he uses to greet European royalty.

Luigi, who could have been pressed into private academies and dinner jackets, groomed for Ivy League legacies and country club memberships, had instead grown up alongside you in public school — though his future was cushioned by both financial security and natural brilliance.

You can't remember a time when academic excellence wasn't your north star — every assignment a stepping stone, every grade a battle in the war for your future.

Being a veterinarian wasn't just a dream, it was your escape route from the endless cycle of farm life that had worn your father's hands to calluses and bent your mother's back.

Perfect attendance since kindergarten, straight A's through AP Biology, even showing up on Senior Skip Day — just you and Lacey Williams, the would-be neurosurgeon, bent over your textbooks in an empty classroom.

Now here you both are in the water — you with your scholarship letters and student loan applications waiting at home, him with acceptance letters from Harvard and Yale gathering dust on his desk.

Two lives that should never have intersected, meeting in the middle of sun-warmed water, your shared freckles catching golden light, limbs tangling as Luigi feints another playful attack.

•

Summer buzzes by your eyeshot like a cicada in a hurry, the season winding down with cooler, longer nights and shorter, blazing hot days.

August comes barreling through like it always does, hot and sticky air clinging to your skin as you sit with Luigi upon the sloped side of the barn, a Birds Eye view of the farm, this very spot the first place the two of you had tried smoking weed, the very first time you ogled at a traumatizing porn everyone at school was talking about — this spot, worn from years of shared moments together is the very place you create some distance.

For the first time.

“I think I want my own party this year.”

The words land like a stone in still water, ripples of hurt crossing Luigi's face before he can master his expression.

For a moment, he looks eight years old again, standing in the tall grass with his first American birthday cake — the one your mom made because his parents were still learning that birthdays here meant homemade frosting, not elegant catered affairs and grand garden parties.

"Oh," he says, and it's the smallest you've ever heard his voice. "Yeah, of course. That makes sense. We’re turning twenty-two. Not eight anymore.” His smile doesn't reach his eyes, hands fidgeting with the bracelet you’d made him years and years ago — the same nervous tell he's had since childhood. "Actually, Ma’s been saying I should do something more — you know, formal this year anyway."

The lie sits between you like a third person.

Luigi, who once convinced his parents to move his elaborate garden party to your barn because you had the flu has never cared for formal anything.

You can see him rebuilding his walls, brick by careful brick, protecting himself the way he never had to with you before.

"Send me pictures though?" he adds lightly, but there's at least fifteen years of shared candles and off-key, bi-lingual singing wrapped in that request, fifteen years of your mom's chocolate cake and his ma’s tiramisu side by side on the same table.

"Luigi, it's not-" you start, then pause, because it is exactly what he thinks it is. A separation. A gentle fracture. "I just need to figure out who I am without- without being part of a matched set. Does that make sense?"

The words feel clumsy in your mouth, inadequate to explain this need that's been growing since your acceptance letter arrived.

You watch him nod too quickly, the way he does when he's processing something that hurts.

The same way he looked when Benny, one of the milking cows had passed three summers ago, or the way he looked when you told him you couldn’t go on the Mangione trip to Italy, desperately needing the vet clinic hours.

"My party's probably just going to be pizza with my study group anyway," you continue, trying to make it sound smaller than it is, even though you've already planned every detail — your first real birthday party that isn't shaped around accommodating both your worlds. "And you should do something spectacular. Twenty-two is a weird number, but you could make it your thing.“

He laughs, but it's his polite laugh, the one he uses at his father's business dinners. "Maybe I'll rent out that new rooftop place in the city," he says, playing along with this sudden pretense that the two of you haven't spent months quietly planning your joint party like every year before. "Very grown-up."

The space between you fills with unspoken memories — dual parties with increasingly ridiculous themes, the year you both got chicken pox and celebrated in quarantine together, or the year his mother hired a magician who pulled you both on stage as assistants.

Fifteen years of wishes and synchronized candle-blowing, and you’ve put an abrupt end to it, with not so much as a warning.

"You're not mad?" you ask, even though you can see he is — not angry-mad, but hurt-mad, the kind that makes his shoulders tight and his smile too careful.

He stands abruptly, brushing invisible dirt from his shorts. "Mad? Nah, come on. We're not kids anymore." The words come out just a touch too fast, too light. "Actually, I should head back. Papa wanted to discuss something about the company tonight."

It's barely seven, and Marco's in New York City until Thursday — you both know this. But Luigi's already stepping back, that practiced social smile firmly in place, the one he uses when he needs to retreat but is too polite to say so.

"Night," he calls over his shoulder once he scales the side of the barn down to the grass again, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

You watch him walk away, his usual easy stride now stiff and measured, leaving you alone with just the sound of the bullfrogs near the pond, and the chickens settling in their coops for the night.

The sunset feels colder somehow, and you wrap your arms around your knees, trying to convince yourself this is what growing up looks like as you sit there until the mosquitoes start biting, watching the space where Luigi disappeared and wondering if this is what independence is supposed to feel like — this hollow victory that tastes nothing like freedom and everything like loss.

•

The late August evening slowly begins to melt into night, the air carrying whispers of autumn though summer still reigns.

You breathe in deep — catching hints of hay being baled in distant fields, leaves just beginning their subtle shift from green to gold, and lake water evaporating off sun-warmed skin. The pontoon boat hums steadily beneath you, loaded with friends sprawled across every available surface, their laughter echoing across the darkening water.

You'd done your best to prepare them all, carefully explaining the separate celebrations to avoid awkward questions.

But Luigi's absence feels like a shadow you can't shake — in the pause after every joke, in the empty space at the boat's stern where he always sat, in the way conversations drift and fade without his easy charm to bridge them.

You're learning that some people leave gaps too precisely shaped to fill, and you catch yourself waiting for sounds that aren't coming —the full-bodied laughter that usually ricochets across the lake, the constant stream of Luigi's commentary that made even silence feel alive.

No one's standing at the boat's edge, goading others into increasingly ridiculous diving contests. The absence of these things sits heavy in your chest, like missing the last step on a familiar staircase.

"Good for you for doing your own thing this year," Mia offers, wine sloshing in her solo cup as she gestures vaguely. "Must be nice not having to compromise on everything for once."

Not really, you think.

The evening settles into dinner in the back garden, strings of lights casting warm halos over familiar faces — relatives, neighbors, friends who'd trickled in as the day aged and as if on cue, the peaceful scene splinters at the sound of tires on gravel and a booming voice that makes your stomach drop.

"Where's Luigi?!"

Cousin Tony's borrowed truck sits askew on the path, driver's door still swinging open like an afterthought.

He bounds toward you, one arm clutching what's clearly a wine bottle wrapped in what looks like yesterday's newspaper, his face bright with the anticipation of seeing his favorite duo.

The sight makes something in your chest twist.

He’s always treated you both as his own blood, never drawing lines between family and chosen family.

You're crushed into a bear hug before you can dodge it, his familiar cologne mixing with engine grease as you try to breathe through compressed lungs, but he’s still calling for Luigi over your head, each shout making the other guests shift uncomfortably in their seats.

"He's somewhere in the city, Tone," you manage to wheeze out.

Your phone burns in your pocket, where Luigi's latest Instagram story sits unopened — some rooftop view you're deliberately not thinking about.

"What'da ya mean?" His grip loosens just enough for you to see his face fall, confusion creeping into his features like a slowly spreading stain.

"We're... trying something different this year," you say, words feeling clumsy as you glance over your shoulder at the laden table — a spread that still unconsciously includes all of Luigi's favorites alongside your own. The sight of his mother's recipe for stuffed shells sitting next to your grandmother's pierogies makes your throat tight.

"Well, is he at least comin' later?"

"No." The word falls between you like a stone. "He couldn't cancel his reservation without losing the booking fee, so I just told him it was fi-"

"No, no, mia cara," Tony drags his hands through his hair, face crumpling like you've just told him the world is ending. "Potrebbe essere l'ultimo!" The words tumble out in his rushed native tongue, his distress making him forget himself.

"You just said that in Italian." Your voice sounds far away, even to your own ears, like it's coming from the bottom of a well.

"Shit — It could be your last time, cuginetta." Tony's sigh seems to come from his bones as he pulls out his phone, cursing when he sees the no-service icon.

"My last time?"

Tony lifts his head slowly from his phone screen, eyes finding yours with a weight that makes your stomach drop. "What — oh, Dio — do you mean to say he has not told you?"

"Told me...?” You brace yourself, chest aching with a sudden, sharp regret for all those breakfast lessons with Luigi's nonna, her patient voice guiding you through pronunciations you'd carelessly let slip away between coffee and lunch.

"He got big'a job in the big city," Tony's hands sweep upward, as if trying to encompass the vastness of a metropolis that stretches far beyond any gesture could capture. "Saying bye-bye forever to smelly farm." His hands fall, and his expression softens into something dangerously close to pity. "Sorry.”

"Leaving? Like — he's moving there?" The words feel strange in your mouth.

You're standing in the same garden where you and Luigi once buried treasure maps at age eight, where you learned to cartwheel together at twelve, where you shared your first illegal beer at sixteen — and suddenly it all feels like archaeological evidence of something that's already gone.

"That's where zio Marco is now, making sure Princess Luigi has all the things he need there for — uh—" Tony lapses into rapid Italian, but you've already stopped listening, the rest of his words fading into white noise.

You're hung up on the present tense of it all — Luigi’s father is there now, apartment hunting, setting up a brand new life while you stand here in your shared history, surrounded by people who apparently knew more about Luigi's future than you did.

The realization hits very suddenly.

Luigi was moving away, and he spoke not a word of it to you.

Tony manages a plate of food before borrowing your landline, desperate to track down Luigi in the sprawling city and when his truck finally crunches back down the gravel path, you feel it like a physical wound — as if he's taking a piece of you with him, torn straight from your core, yet, you maintain your composure with award-winning precision, a smile fixed firmly in place as guests filter away into the darkness.

You go through the motions, accepting kisses on cheeks, graciously receiving gifts labeled with just your name - no more Dynamic Duo or Thing 1 and 2 scrawled in familiar handwriting.

You help clear the garden, stack chairs, wash dishes that held food Luigi would have fought you for the leftovers of. You kiss your father's cheek goodnight, and tell your still-bustling mother you're heading out for some stargazing.

It's not entirely a lie.

You do end up beneath the stars, though you hadn't exactly planned to collapse here by the waterfront, where the distant dock creaks its lonely song, the splash of jumping fish and the bold croaking of nearby bullfrogs barely register — sounds that would normally make you jump now feel as distant as satellite signals.

You're lost in the undertow of your thoughts, barely noticing the warm tears tracking down your neck until your t-shirt is damp with evidence of a grief you didn't know you needed to prepare for — the silence holds you, envelopes you, and you’re almost convinced you can disappear here until-

"Hey, stranger."

His voice cuts through the cricket symphony like a knife, and you freeze, tears still wet on your face.

You don't turn around — can't turn around — because you know exactly what he'll look like: silhouetted against the moons full and distant glow, wearing that stupid designer jacket he bought last month that suddenly makes too much sense.

Big City boy.

The grass whispers beneath his feet as he approaches, each step measured like he's greeting a spooked animal.

It's funny — he used to just crash down beside you, all elbows and laughter.

When did you become something he had to be careful with?

"Tone called me," he says softly, still standing. "Said he found you but couldn't find me." There's a pause, heavy with unspoken words. "Told me other things, too."

The lake laps at the shore, a steady rhythm that used to calm you both on countless nights like this.

Now it just sounds like a countdown.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Your voice sounds small against the vastness of the lake, broken and confused, betrayed and disbelieving.

"Would it have changed anything?" His words come sharp, defensive. "Would you have suddenly decided to stay?"

"That's not fair."

"Fair?" The laugh that escapes him is bitter and unfamiliar. "You want to talk about fair? I watched you apply to every college more than fifty miles away. Watched you light up talking about leaving, about getting out. Never once asking—" He cuts himself off, his gaze turning up instead at the trees that sway and rustle in the midnight air, a chill taking your spine.

"Asking what, Lu?”

"If I wanted to come with you." The words hang in the darkness between you. "If maybe I had dreams too, ones that didn't involve watching you disappear."

"I never said you couldn't-“

"What do you think I was going to do, wait around forever?" His voice cracks at the end, brittle and broken. "God, I've spent my whole life orbiting you like a personal Pluto. I don't even remember my life before you." He paces now like an agitated zoo animal behind a sheath of thin glass, just out of reach. “And yet, you expect me to stay here without you? While you go to college, make your own dreams come true?"

The moonlight catches his face as he turns, and you see something break in his expression. "I would have waited. I would have always waited, but fuck—" His hands tremble as they rake through his hair. "You've pushed and pushed and pushed me away. Every college application, every excited story about your future somewhere else, the party -“ he watches as you stand, your posture ridged and nervous, but attentive.

"Lu, please -“

"So what do I do?" His voice drops lower, trembling. "I have to think of myself too. I have to accept that we won't always be this way." He watches as you scrub your hands over your face, your unsteady legs carrying you off the dock.

The cool, damp grass beneath your feet becomes an anchor, something real in a moment that feels anything but.

He follows, his body angled toward yours like a compass finding north. "But it didn't have to be like this." His voice softens to barely above a whisper, his dress shoes crushing the grass with each step.

"Well, what exactly did you expect?" You whirl around, wiping furiously beneath your eyes, moonlight catching the tears on your cheeks that refuse to be unseen. "We were going to play in the river forever? Did you think we'd just find our way without ever trying?" The words come out harder than you mean them, sharp with the kind of anger that's really just fear in disguise.

"I- you-" Luigi's voice breaks.

His eyes are bloodshot, the bridge of his nose red from earlier tears hastily wiped away in the party bathroom. In the half-light, he looks both younger and older than your shared twenty-two years — a boy trying to hold onto something slipping through his fingers, a man facing his first real loss.

"You know, maybe it might have been that easy for you, Lu." Your eyes drift to the Mangione Mansion, its windows gleaming like jewels against the dark hills, an anomaly among the endless cornfields. "You never had to lift a finger — it always just..." You gesture vaguely, bitterly. "Fell into place."

The words taste like copper in your mouth, sharper for how unfair they feel.

Because he's always shared everything.

Those lavish family dinners where his mother insisted you sit next to her, those delicate necklaces from Rome that he'd drape around your neck with careful fingers, those shopping trips where his nonna would press dresses into your arms with a conspirator's wink.

He's never once made you feel like charity.

But there are some things that can't be shared, some advantages that run deeper than generosity.

While you pieced together credits between evening classes and online courses, fighting for every inch of progress, he'd come home rolling his eyes at another Harvard letter, another Yale recruiter calling.

You take a deep breath, feeling the summer air fill your lungs, and air that smells like it always has, like corn silk and cut grass and the all-consuming night. "Did you think we'd just stay here in our bubble, Lu?" Your voice softens despite yourself. "The only place we've ever known?"

All he can do is stand there, helpless, caught between a nod and denial.

His expression crumples into something raw and pleading — such a far cry from the boy who, just last week, had painted patterns across your skin with river mud, both of you laughing until your sides hurt.

The same boy whom you could communicate with without even speaking to, who knew exactly how you took your coffee, who was born the day before you, and who could read your silences like a book he'd memorized; yet now he's looking at you like you're written in a language he never learned to speak.

"No." The word propels you forward, feet moving before your brain catches up.

His face softens into something unbearable — like watching a star collapse in slow motion, finally understanding that this isn't just another one of your theoretical late-night talks about the future.

His carefully constructed composure crumbles, leaving behind something young and scared and achingly real.

"I love you." The words fall from his lips like muscle memory, like breathing, like the thousands of times before — whispered against your hair during movies, shouted across parking lots, mumbled sleepily during long car rides. But now they land heavy between you, a weight pressing against your chest until it hurts to breathe. "I always have, and I always will—"

"No. No, Lu." Your voice cracks on his name, and your pace quickens, bare feet crushing grass beneath desperate steps.

But he matches you stride for stride.

“My life has been so intertwined with yours, when you began to pull away - I- I panicked,” He was rambling now, quick and out of breath but keeping up with you nonetheless, the two of you navigating the vast property, moon and starlight the only thing guiding your path. “I settled on what I knew would be easiest,”

“That’s the problem.” You stop again to look at him, your chest heaving. “You don’t need to settle, Lu — you’re brilliant, you’re so fucking brilliant-“ he grabs your wrists gently, taking several steps to close the gap between you.

"I have never settled on you." Luigi's voice goes rigid, cracking in the middle like ice breaking over deep water. Each word carries the weight of years — shared secrets, dreams whispered under blanket forts, and promises made in tree houses. "You have always been my first option."

You catch your breath, the familiar warmth of his hands on your wrists suddenly feeling like shackles.

Your head shakes, slow and deliberate, as you try to pull back — but his grip steadfast remains. "How would you know of the other options?" The question comes out softer than you mean it to, weighted with everything you've both been too scared to say. "Do you know yourself without me?”

"I don't want to know myself without you."

"Luigi. Please stop-“ You wrench your wrists from his loosened grip, your feet carrying you forward through the night but he follows, like an echo you can't shake, like a shadow that refuses to fade with distance.

His words tumble out faster now, chasing the shrinking space between you and home, visible through the wavering corn stalks like a lighthouse warning of rough water ahead. "I know I'm not — I know I'm not Matthew Williams, or that guy that works the stables near the Bradshaws. And I know I’m not a perfect man, but—"

You stop once again, so abruptly this time he nearly collides with you, turning to face this strange new version of Luigi — one you've never seen before, one who wears his insecurities like an ill-fitting suit.

He's brave, you'll give him that, but he's also terrified in a way that makes your chest ache.

This boy who's never had to compete for anything in his life, suddenly listing off names like entries in a contest he thinks he's losing.

"You stop that." Your finger jabs at his chest, connecting with the expensive fabric of his jacket. "You are the most-the most magnificent person I have ever met, Luigi. And you're not perfect, no-“ You swallow against the rising bile, against the irony of having to defend him to himself when you're the one walking away. "But you're honest, and you're good — a goddamn great deal too good for me."

The last part comes out like a confession, like something you've carried so long it's carved itself into your bones — the real reason you're running, the fear that someday he'll wake up and realize it too.

The night holds its breath around you, your ragged exhales mixing with his in the space between heartbeats, and the trees shiver their leaves like witnesses to your undoing, crickets falling silent as if they too understand the gravity of this moment — this closing act.

"But-“ You step into his warmth, drawn forward like a moth to flame, even now, knowing it would burn. You’re close enough to catch the familiar scent of his cologne mixing with fresh-cut grass and summer sweat. Close enough to see the moonlight catching in his eyelashes. Close enough to break both your hearts properly. "I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved."

The words tear themselves from your throat like barbed wire, each syllable drawing blood.

Your stomach twists inside out, acid creeping up your throat again, "I can't love you like that. I’m - I’m so, so sorry, Luigi — I just - I can’t,

His hands find your face with the reverence of a prayer, thumbs brushing across your cheekbones like he's trying to memorize the geography of your skin. "Listen to me," he whispers, his voice thick with desperation. "Listen."

The tenderness in his touch nearly breaks you — the way his fingers tremble against your jaw, the gentle circles he traces beneath your ears, the familiar callous on his right thumb from his tree-climbing habit.

His forehead drops to rest against yours, and you can feel his breath hitching, unsteady and warm against your lips.

"You've already loved me better than anyone else ever could," Luigi's voice cracks, splintering like ice in early spring. "You love me exactly as I am — not the heir, not the prodigy, not the Mangione name." His hands slide into your hair, “You have loved me even though I can’t remember to help feed the hens, but I can recite every constellation. And you’ve loved me even though I name every cull cow — even though you think it’s cruel.”

He pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, and the raw hope in his gaze is almost unbearable. "Please," he breathes, the word more air than sound. "Please don't decide for both of us what kind of love I deserve." His thumbs catch the tears you didn't realize were falling, smearing them across your cheeks like war paint. "Let me choose.”

“Then choose someone else!” You shake your hands at him, helpless and wishing to disappear. “I - I’m so unsure of myself - every goddamn thing I do, Luigi. I break everything, I’m useless at being a homemaker. I’m awkward, I’m a black sheep, even all the way out here.”

You aren’t made for the big city like he is.

The moonlight catches in his dark eyes, turning them to liquid as they search yours. "I don't need perfect love. I don't need textbook romance or fairy tale." His voice breaks, raw with honesty. "I just need you. But - but I can’t live like this forever" He’s speaking faster than you’ve ever heard the smooth-talking, easy going Luigi say anything.

You try to turn away, to escape the weight of his words, but his touch holds you steady — gentle but unwavering. "Luigi — let me the fuck-“

"No," he breathes, the word ghosting across your lips. "No, don't push me away because you think you're protecting me. Don't make decisions about what I can handle." His fingers thread through your hair, cradling the back of your head. "I choose this. I choose the messy parts, the broken parts, the parts you think are unlovable. I choose all of it."

I am stopping this here. Love you 💕