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freedomfireflies · 1 year

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Bite Me*

Summary: Part of Halloween Kinktober, Freaky Fun

The one where your boyfriend, Harry, is a vampire.

And you wish you could feel what he felt.

Word Count: 3.2k

*Contains Mature and Explicit content! Please only consume what you feel comfortable with!💞You are so much more important!*

“Easy…easy, sweet dove. Need to relax for me. Can smell how nervous you are. Take a deep breath, hm?”

Shaky fingers gather in front of your stomach as you nod nervously. Staring up at your boyfriend with anticipation and remorse. “Sorry, I just…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothing,” he says quickly, reaching up to brush some hair behind your ear. “There is nothing wrong with you, darling. It’s chemical. You’re meant to feel nervous around me. It’s nature’s design. To keep you safe.”

You nod again, catching a glimmer of light from the sharp tooth peeking out from behind his lip. “I know, I just…I wish it would stop. I wish we could just be, you know? Without me being so…”

He studies you for a moment, a look of adoration on his face as he hums again and cups your cheek. “I know.”

You nestle into his touch rather contently before he begins to smile, now dipping down to nudge his nose with yours.

“If you want…I can make the bad feeling go away,” he whispers with a slight purr. “Can make it all better again.”

Hopeful, your lashes flutter. “Really?”

He nods once. “Mhm. Just wanna help you, dove. Want you to feel good.”

And now you understand what he means, the thought sending a spark down to your toes. It’s rare he feeds from you. After all, he considers the act to be degrading and disrespectful. He only ever feeds from animals or blood bags unless you’ve specifically asked.

But the truth is, you love when he feeds from you. For a plethora of reasons, one of which being the overwhelming sense of need and dependance on him that follows. Or the way his eyes grow darker and his entire demeanor changes. How much stronger he becomes feeding on human blood, specifically the blood of someone he loves.

But another reason lies with his fangs. The venom that becomes injected into your bloodstream, forcing you to feel whatever emotion or desire he feels.

It’s a trick used to lure and calm his prey into submission while he feeds, but you find another use for it. Because if he’s filled with serenity or anger or lust…you feel it, too. You feel him. Only him.

And it’s your absolute favorite feeling in the world.

His other hand now reaches for your neck, fingers gently tapping the sides of your throat. “Just say the word, darling. And I’ll give you anything you want.”

You feel your chest deflate, all the air evaporating from your lungs as he slowly urges you back against the wall. Bracing you there as he awaits your decision.

He knows what you want. And he knows that you’d tell him otherwise.

Your fingers tangle in the dark shirt on his chest, desperate to keep him near you. “Do it. Please.”

He tilts your head back, letting his lip curl up until his fang is revealed. “Are you sure, my dove?”

Another fervent nod. “Yes. Please, Har…please, need to feel it. Need to feel you.”

He leans closer, letting the tips of his sharp teeth graze over the sensitive skin of your throat. Right above your pulse point. “Gotta be really sure, darling. Don’t want to hurt you. Or lose control.”

“You won’t,” you exhale, feeling more confident than you sound. “Know you won’t.”

Truth be told, you wouldn’t mind if he did. Even in his darkest moments, he remains your fiercest protector. Never allowing anyone to hurt you.

Not even himself.

You feel him breathe against your neck, perhaps preparing himself for what he’s about to do. Or maybe he’s indulging in your smell. Reveling in the realization of what he’s about to do. What he’s about to taste.

Then, almost as if overcome with a surge of confidence, he bites down – hard. Enough to break the skin and allow his venom to travel into your system.

It’s instantaneous, the feeling. The way your muscles dissolve into jelly, the way your mind fills with a certain haze, and the way your stomach begins to coil.

It’s overwhelming, but it’s him. And you whimper as his other hand falls to your hip to keep you steady, making sure you remain upright and in his arms.

He waits a moment or two to make sure the venom has taken effect before he slowly retracts his fangs and pulls away. You know if he’d punctured you any deeper or kept the sharp teeth inside of you any longer, the taste of your blood would have driven him mad. Tempting him beyond reason until he began to lose control.

But he knows his limits by now. Knows exactly how far he can push himself around you, and you admire him for it.

Your legs shake as you slump against the wall, held up by his grip as he studies you carefully. Looking for signs of remorse or panic.

He’s learned a trick for sucking a majority of the poison out of your system – if it were to come to that. And while it’s tricky and tedious, you know he’d do it in a heartbeat if he felt you were in danger or if you regretted your choice.

Instead, you simply smile at him, and nod languidly. “M’good, Har,” you assure him. “M’so good.”

He seems to exhale a grateful breath, thumb stroking your cheek gently as he now glances over your wound. “I need to clean it—"

“No,” you whimper, keeping him close. “Not yet. Don’t go yet.”

He chuckles, the corner of his mouth curling into a smirk. “All right, dove. I’m here. How do you feel, hm? You feel calm yet?”

You nod again before your lashes flutter. “Yeah. Calm, and…and happy, I think?”

He hums. “I imagine. You do make me happy.”

“It’s strange, though,” you admit, brows furrowing in thought. “Feels…heightened. Or more potent. There’s this…this yearning. This need for something.”

He regards you for a moment more. Curious and seemingly amused by your confusion before suddenly, your eyes snap to his.

You suck in a sharp inhale – something akin to a gasp. “Are you…are you horny?”

You expect his surprise, but all you find is smug fascination. “Well,” he begins slowly, letting his knuckles graze delicately beneath your jaw, “the term horny is a little juvenile. And it could never even begin to describe what I feel for you.”

He steps closer, lips ghosting just above yours while you feel your breath hitch.

“But…yes,” he whispers, glancing down at your mouth with a smile. “I suppose I am. Can’t exactly help it, darling, can I? When you look…and taste…and smell so goddamn divine.”

Another whimper bleeds from your throat as he begins to guide you away from the wall and toward the bed just to the left of you.

“Tell me…how does it feel, dove, hm?” he murmurs, touch strong yet determined. “Do you feel me? Feel how much I need you?”

This nod is quick and zealous. Because you do. It’s all you feel. This desire to have – to take and ruin. In the best possible way. It’s a similar sensation to the lust you already feel for him. Your hunger to explore the dangerous but loving man you call your own.

“Yeah?” He’s grinning like a mad man at the way you so quickly fall apart. “Can I tell you a secret, darling?”

You whimper pitfully as you gaze up at him.

Lowering his voice, he tightens his grip. “When I’m with you…I always feel like this.”

With that, he nudges you down to sit on the mattress before surging forward to press his lips to yours. Kissing you so hard, you feel dizzy. It’s perfection. Like quenching a burning flame. Like taking that first drink of water on a hot day. Fixing a desperate need – succumbing to a craving.

And it feels as though this kiss fixes every one of your problems. Because it does – he does. Breaks you and puts you back together again all in the same moment. It’s almost addicting. You feel insatiable, hands disappearing into his curls as you yank him down until his chest is flush with yours.

The two of you roll and writhe around on the bed for a minute or two before he leans back to offer you air. He knows you won’t take a moment to breathe otherwise, and his smug smirk merely worsens the ache between your thighs.

“Not so nervous now, hm?” he muses.

You hook your leg around his hip and attempt to grind yourself against his thigh. “Please…”

“Please what, dove?” He presses his lips to the base of your throat, trailing them down your sternum and toward your chest. “What’s it feel like, what do you need?”

But you don’t have any answer for him. Instead, all you can do is stare at the stunningly generous man as he works his way down your body. As he unbuttons your shirt and kisses over the swell of your breast.

The stain of your blood from his lips smears across your nipple before he takes it into his mouth. Sucking and licking at the tender skin while he kneads the other one in his palm.

You arch from the mattress, desperate to disappear into his strong frame while he chuckles darkly and allows his fangs to reemerge.

He uses them sparingly – not as a weapon but as a toy. A tool in the game of your lust.

The sharp edge pricks your skin, enough to make you gasp his name and tug on him harder. He smiles a bit bigger and carries on with his quest. Moving down your stomach and toward the waistband of your pants.

Cold, nimble fingers pop the buttons free and tug the fabric down your legs. Revealing your trembling thighs to his hungry gaze. He looks at you like you’ve been served to him on a platter. But not in the way another vampire might.

No, Harry’s look of mesmeric adoration lies in the idea of your body. In the warmth of your cunt and the soft skin of your legs. In the way you draw him in, the way you hold him, clench around him.

It’s hard for him to feel most things these days.

But he always feels you.

He settles his body near your ankles, providing him the right angle and amount of space to spread you open and study you.

His thumb reaches for you. Pushes into your clit before dragging down between your folds as you gasp.

His expression reveals nothing. No inkling as to what he’s thinking but you know his mind is running wild with ideas.

He finds your soaked little hole, circling it once before dragging the wet substance back up and through.

“Shh,” he coos, taming your desolate cries. “It’s okay, dove. I’ve got you.”

“Har,” you whimper, fingers itching to reach for him as he settles onto his stomach. “Please…”

You can see the reflection of light on his fangs. The way they extend past his red, swollen lips and ghost above your skin.

He nips at your hip a time or two – a slight sting that dissolves into something excruciatingly pleasurable – before he dances his mouth down. Torturing you with what’s to come instead of simply giving it to you.

“You smell divine, darling,” he purrs, groaning deep within the back of his throat. “Just might kill me again.”

You’d laugh if you had the strength, instead peering down your body at him with a desperate need. “H, I need…need—”

“Need me, hm?” He exhales a gentle breath across your clit and it’s so very cold. But it makes you jump, a new wave of arousal seeming to soak the sheets beneath. “Need me to make it better, yeah?”

You nod swiftly. “Yes…yeah. Hurts, Har.”

“Hurts?” he repeats with faux sympathy. “Oh, dove. Bet it does. Bet it’s all achy.”

Your head moves on its own accord, and you feel your stomach quiver when his cool hands curl around your thighs, keeping them spread.

“I imagine,” he whispers, returning his eyes to your pussy. “Cause I know how much it aches for me.”

He dives in, tongue lapping at your warmth and wetness without mercy as you cling to the sheets and arch from the bed.

His arms fold over your hips, keeping you pressed down and pliable to his intentions as he begins. Licking, sucking, and nibbling at certain spots – but never the spot you need him most.

The tantalizing edge of his fang grazes your soft, sensitive cunt. Sometimes harder, sometimes softer. But always impatient, desperate to feel you anyway he can.

Truth be told, you suppose he enjoys feeding on you this way just as much. In fact, this is what he claims is his nourishment whenever he’s feeling weak and unwell. One taste of your pussy and he’s a changed man.

He has you every day. Makes sure you’re at his beck and call – which you already are, anyway.

If he’s working, if he’s cooking, if he’s reading. He merely gives you a look and calls you by that familiarly loving nickname, and next thing you know, you’re sitting on his face.

The stretch of your muscles is almost distracting, but not nearly as distracting as his groans of pleasure. The way he curses to himself as he swallows you down. Nudging at your cunt with his mouth like you’re the best meal he’s ever had.

And then…those perfect lips find your clit. He sucks, and moans, and you cry out his name. Grasping onto his hair in a futile attempt at stability and more.

He lets you tug him closer. You imagine – if he were still alive – he’d be suffocated by your pussy. Which…he’d probably enjoy.

As it is, he continues his ministrations almost mercilessly while you squirm beneath him and attempt to buck up against his tongue.

“I know,” he whispers, almost soothingly, and it feels like a vast contrast to the way he forces you into so much pleasure. “Know, darling. Can hear your pretty, little heart racing. Try to breathe, yeah? While you still can.”

You suck in a greedy gasp, eager to obey, as you focus on the sounds coming from between your thighs. It’s sinful and sensual and it echoes around the room until it’s all you hear.

“Doing so good, babydove,” he murmurs, glancing up just long enough to see the first tear slip from your eye. “It’s a lot right now, I know. I know, but you can take it. Always do so good for me. Let me see you cum, yeah? Let me see this pretty pussy cum for me.”

And you want to more than anything. Chasing the need in your own belly along with the need from his venom. The combined rush of ecstasy that makes stars explode across your eyelids as more destitute sounds fall from your tongue.

His hands suddenly slip beneath your back, forcing you from the bed as he repositions you and nearly pulls you right through him.

Large fingers grope the tender flesh of your ass as he holds you against his mouth and sucks the sensitive nerves between puckered lips.

“Tell me,” he ushers softly, a golden hue to those vivid eyes watching you closely. “Tell me how bad I need you. Tell me how much I love you—”

“Har,” you gasp, trembling in his touch. “Can’t…can’t…m’gonna cum, I…please—”

“Try. Tell me. Tell me that you feel me—”

“I do,” you whine. “I do, I feel you. Feel you, Har. So good. It’s so good, please—”

“All right, darling. You gonna let me taste you? Need to taste you, darling. Can’t live without it—”

“Harry—”

He pulls away just enough to raise his hand and smack it down your cunt. The cold metal of his ring catching your clit before two more spanks are laid in succession.

You moan loudly – almost undone by the eroticism itself – before he dips back down, and grazes the delicate bud with the edge of his fang.

You feel him slip a finger inside. Pumping you once – twice – before he adds a second. Wanting to fill you and finger-fuck you to the edge as quickly as possible.

It hits you then. Overpowers you and knocks the wind from your lungs.

You fall apart in his hands, against his tongue. Moaning and whimpering as your toes curl and your eyes roll to the back of your head. It feels as though you cum twice as hard – perhaps a result of the venom or the symbolism of his need for you. The way your taste has satisfied his thirst.

“Yes, yes…there you go, that’s my fucking girl.” His tone is rough but riddled with lust. He groans like he’s never been filled with so much devotion. An anxious almost obsessed sound that drags your orgasm on at least a few seconds longer. “Give it to me, dove…fucking give it to me—”

“Harry—” You gasp his name like it’s the last sound you’ll ever make. Tears building in your eyes before they cascade down your warm cheeks.

Ever the sadist, Harry works you through until your cunt is throbbing and far too sensitive to the touch. Despite your cries and whimpers for mercy, he carries on. Thrusting, licking, and sucking until you can hardly breathe.

Eventually he releases you and leans back. Perhaps able to hear the erratic racing of your pulse beneath your chest as he now works to hush your anxious mewling.

Crawling up your body with care, his fangs retract, and he buries his face in your neck to keep you still. Pressing his chest to yours in an effort to help calm you.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, lips grazing your skin as he speaks. “It’s okay, dove. You’re okay. God, did so fucking good for me, darling. Always taste so good, make me so happy.”

You tiredly grasp onto his arms, needing to hold onto him just as tightly as he’s holding onto you. Wanting to share in this moment as he smirks against your throat.

“You okay?” he asks you now. “You’re nervous again.”

“No, I’m…I’m okay,” you assure him through a pant. “I just…it feels so good. So…heavy, you know? Overwhelming.”

He chuckles softly and pushes up onto his elbows to get a good look at you. Thumb finding your cheekbone as he traces the delicate curve of your face with great adoration. “Are you saying I overwhelm you?”

You nod, smiling giddily as you tug your bottom lip between your teeth. “In the best possible way.”

Grinning himself, he leans down to capture your lips with his. And it’s soft and slow and an oddly angelic end to such a devilish evening.

“Har?” you whisper, lashes fluttering shut as you nose your way under his jaw.

“Yes, dove?”

Your kisses trail below his ear, making his fingers flex. “You know what I think?”

“What's that, darling?”

You begin to smirk wickedly as you slip your hand around the back of his neck and tug him closer. Allowing the edge of your teeth to finally make contact with his skin.

He stills.

“I think it’s my turn now.”

Just wanna put in a quick note and clarify that even though she was feeling a bit of his horniness and desire, she was still very much horny all on her own HAHAHA this was 1000000% consented to from beginning to end from both parties!

Also vampire!harry is so fun?? And I loved this?? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME??

~ Freaky Fun Masterlist

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Amazing divider by @firefly-graphics! 💞

Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @straightontilmornin @justlemmeadoreyou @harrysdaydreams @tiaamberxx @peterparker1sgf @myfavfanficsever @littlenatilda @vamprry @fdl305 @tchalametishot @ssaama @indierockgirrl @likeapplejuicenpeach @vane28282 @lukesaprince @closureesny @lc-fics @0nlythrowharrybeaux @hannahdressedasabanana @scndsofsummer @theofficialprongs

#harry #harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry edward styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #smut #harry styles concept #vampire!harry #freaky fun #harry and dove #concept #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing

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a-small-safe-place · 10 months

Text

His Haven Pt. 3

Part 1 Part 2

Homelander x Psychiatrist!Reader

Homelander had arrived at your office earlier than your usual meeting time. You had asked him to be there around an hour earlier than your scheduled session. He was putting on a fake smile; he was always good at that. Homelander thought he knew what was happening. You were dropping him as a client. You had to be. You had all but threatened it the last time he came to your house when he was desperate for someone to talk to or even just be around. When his reflection was saying things that were beyond harsh and his penthouse felt a little too empty. Even if you did drop him as a client, he didn’t plan on going anywhere, but it bothered him that you would have even tried.

Homelander stepped into the office without knocking, like he always did. He knew that bothered you, but he didn’t need to knock. It was obvious to him when someone else was in the room, and you would not be dumb enough to book someone over his time with you. He immediately noticed your heart beating faster and the stink of adrenaline all over your body. You were afraid. The smell of adrenaline was fresh, so that meant one thing: you were afraid of him.

Homelander took his seat across from you. You smiled a fake smile before asking, “How are you today?” He wanted to gripe about you, tell you that you had no reason to be afraid of him right now, tell you that even if you tried to drop him as a client, he wasn’t leaving. “Fine,” is all he says with an irritated tone. “What’s so important that I had to be here an hour before our meeting? You know I’m a busy man,” he scolds. Your heart rate spikes.

“Well, we’ve been having some issues with boundaries. Usually, I discuss these things in our first meeting, but since my contract with The Seven was a unique experience, I hadn’t bothered to have a boundaries talk with any of you, at least not an in-depth one.” After you finish talking, Homelander relaxes a bit. You weren’t trying to get rid of him. It was a relief. He figured since you were human; you probably didn’t notice the change in his demeanor, but in reality, it was a very noticeable change. He was like a feral cat finally calming down enough to eat or drink.

“Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries,” Homelander mocks a bit. “Is that all you doctors want to talk about? I thought you wanted to talk about me?”

“This is about you. It’s about both of us,” you counter. He stands back up and begins pacing a bit with his hands behind his back. “Look, we need to have boundaries. They are important. In our first session, I said that I am here for you, and I cannot be here for you if we have no boundaries. If these boundaries continue to be pressed, then I will recommend you to another psychiatrist, one that will be better suited to your needs.” It’s obvious this pisses him off enough that his mask drops. Homelander’s already thin lips flatten into a line of a scowl. At first, his eyes widen a bit, clearly shocked at your sudden assertiveness, but then narrowing somewhat out of anger. He is not looking at you. He’s looking in your direction but pointedly avoiding you or maybe looking through you. Homelander seems to be lost in thought or as if he has suddenly begun to disassociate.

“So you are dropping me?” he finally says. His voice is flat, and his eyes are somewhat glassy. “No. I am still your psychiatrist. We will just be working on our boundaries. It’s my fault. I should have discussed this with you the minute I realized we would be meeting regularly, and I should not have been so indulgent, but that stops now. We will both be good, okay? And you can continue to be my patient. But there will be no time for us outside of this office, and you will quit showing up at my house or following me home. I know you are lonely, but I cannot fill that loneliness as your psychiatrist. I can help you understand why you are having those feelings, but I cannot fix them.” You speak with a confidence that Homelander has never seen from you. He likes this attitude you have.

He ponders it for a moment before sitting back down. Homelander thinks he can make this work, for now. He will still get to see you and visit your house while you’re out. You’re still his. “Okay, I’ll behave,” Homelander says in a way that borders on pride and flirting. He feels somewhat proud of you for being so assertive with you, even if he’s not a huge fan of the outcome.

He knows you will come around eventually, and when you do, he will be waiting with a dinner reservation and the mirror on the ceiling of his bedroom freshly cleaned.

Tag list: @demodemo909 @misadventures0fdes

#the boys #homelander #homelander x reader #the seven #the boys fanfic #homelander fanfiction #reader x homelander #homelander x psychiatrist #psychiatrist!reader #male reader #fem!reader #gender neutral reader #homelander is so bbg #homelander x you #slow burn?#slow burn

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4everhyucks · 2 years

Text

— 6:08PM

cw. dubcon, sacrilegious themes, manipulation, loss of virginity, creampie.

it is just another sunday morning of you going to church, secretly glancing the cute boy standing at the front row while the priest reads from the gospel. it’s been a couple months since you found out that you developed a tiny crush on him despite not knowing a single thing about him, only overhearing some of his conversations with his friends on accident. that was how you got to know his name as well. you decided today will be the day to confess your love to him. you don’t really expect anything out of it when you do, just wanting to be honest with your own feelings.

when the church starts to clear out, you hurry over to him before he could leave, softly tapping on his shoulder, “mark.”

he turns around to meet your eyes, you’ve never once stood so close to him, suddenly noticing all his beautiful facial features.

“hey,” mark is giving off an awkward energy, barely noticeable, considering you both have certainly not interacted before. he adds, “do we know each other..?”

“no,” you’re quick to respond, “no we don’t, but i have something to uh tell you.”

“i’m all ears.”

you gathered up your courage and told him that you have a thing for him, you didn’t get to say much as he cut you off halfway, “so you like me?” he says, voice sounding cocky for no reason.

“yes- no- wait, i mean yeah! i do but i don’t uhm want anything from this, i’m just telling you, you know? you can forget about it, it’s not really that important.. it’s not like i wanted us to be together or anything,” you feel so tense, like every hair on your skin is standing up straight, you laugh lightly after you realise you have been rambling a whole lot. this is your first time confessing to someone, you’re not quite sure how to do it but you’re sure that you probably messed this one up.

mark didn’t give you a reply of any sort as he pulls you by your wrist into the confessional. you’re stunned by his actions, wondering why he brought you in here. you’re even more stunned when he stepped in too, tugging the curtains closed.

“what are we doing in here?” you nervously question him, standing together in such a close proximity is making you lose your mind. you can feel the warmth of his body on your cold skin.

“baby,” the word rolling off his tongue so smoothly like he’s used to calling you that. he places both his hands on your waist gently, slotting his knee in between your legs. you’ve never had someone touch you before, but it felt nice, it felt good.

“mark,” you whimper when he lifts his knee up higher until it hits your core. from the moment you opened your mouth to initiate a conversation, he knew you weren’t the type to go for parties, to go get laid and come for church to accommodate your sins. you’re actually as innocent as you look, and mark loves girls like you.

“yeah?” his replies, voice so gentle while moving your hips for you to grind on his thigh.

“feels- weird..” you mutter, fingers gripping onto his arm for balance.

“weird? how?” he asks, honestly not caring about what your response would be. before you could give him an answer, he adds, “want me to stop?”

you hastily shake your head. mark’s smirking when he sees your mouth dropping open. the sounds that leaves your lips made mark extremely aroused as he dips his head in your neck, the smell of your perfume intoxicating him, making his mind go hazy.

as if mark never noticed you every single time he showed up for church, the prettiest girl in the room, wearing the skimpiest sundresses known to humankind. he keeps finding himself jerking off to the thought about you whenever the hem of your dress flies up a little too high, giving him a whole view of your cute panty. on some days it’s baby blue, on some days it’s light pink with polka dots on it. all so innocent.

god must be on his side, for making his dream a whole fucking reality. he didn’t even need to try and here you are, handing yourself to him on a silver platter.

mark stops his movements when he feels your wetness soaking through his jeans. you are pushed up against the uncomfortable wooden prickly wall in the confessional as mark pulls your dress up, mouth salivating at the sight of your panty, white with a little pink bow on it. holy shit, you’re just so pure, way too pure for someone so dirty and corrupted like him.

“mark wait—” you softly hold his hands when he was about to touch your private part, snapping him out of his thoughts for just a moment but he’s already thinking of ways to let you let him have it his way.

“you like me right?” he tugs a strand of hair behind your ear when you nod, “this is what people do when they like someone.”

“does that mean you like me too?” you ask, gazing up at him with the most innocent looking eyes ever

mark hums, ignoring your question, “you’re so pretty, so so pretty.” and when he feels your hand leaving his, he wastes no time at all, shoving his fingers through your folds. you’re so wet, pussy dripping with arousal. you have both palms over your mouth, trying to stop the weird noises that were coming out on their own.

“does this feel weird?” he wants you to talk regardless of your hands blocking your mouth. “answer me baby.”

you slowly retreat your hands, “n-no, feels good..” accidentally letting out a moan when mark curls his fingers in you. shit you sound so angelic, and he wants to hear more.

“want me to make you feel even better?” he suggests. being the easily trusting person you are, you nod again with no hesitation. he slips his fingers out of you, placing them on your lips, “open up baby.” and you did so obediently, tasting your liquid with your tongue when he pushes his fingers through your lips.

mark unbuttons his jeans quickly, pulling his cock out of his briefs, lazily pumping it with his tip on your clit. you gag when his fingertips hit the back of your throat, tears welling up in your eyes. he retrieves his wet fingers, grabbing the bottom of your thigh, pushing it up to your chest. he glances down at your dripping soft cunt as he lines his painfully hard cock at your entrance, unable to hold out any longer.

“mark im scared,” your voice is shaking, you don’t think something that big could ever fit inside of you. you’re afraid that you might break, but mark wants to break you.

“don’t be scared baby, i promise it’ll feel real good.” already pushing the tip in, the stretch is unbearable, but you wanted to do your best, you didn’t want to disappoint him, you wanted him to feel good.

“so tight- taking me in so well,” mark huffs as he sinks his length into you all the way to the base, “see, wasn’t so bad right?” he lifts his eyes to meet yours, tears threatening to fall out of your eyes. mark didn’t think it was possible for his dick to get any harder than it already was, but it did.

“fuck- try to stay quiet baby,” he immediately starts moving after rushing his words.

“ahh i-i can’t,” despite trying so hard, gasps and whines kept slipping through your lips.

mark leans in close as he hungrily plants his lips on yours, swallowing down your pretty moans while he’s sucking on your tongue, groaning whenever your walls tighten up around his cock. while one of his hands are on the back of your thighs, his other is found wrapped around your throat, squeezing tighter and tighter by the second. oxygen is getting cut out of your lungs and with the way mark is pounding into you, it’s impossible for you to get a word out, much less a sentence. you can feel your knees starting to give out. you place your hands on either sides of marks’ shoulder, hoping he’ll go slower on you.

when mark parts away from your lips to let you breathe, you cough a little, “mark, i’m feeling weird again..”

“just relax,” he says, picking up his pace, he’s so close to finishing too.

with just a few more thrusts, you moan his name out loud as your body trembled, unable to control the volume of your voice. mark grunts at the feeling of your walls convulsing around him, letting out strings of curses as he came inside of you, filling you up to the brim.

“at least there’s something for me to look forward to during church sundays now,” you hear him say, feeling on cloud nine, mistaking his lust for love. never realising that mark did not once called you by your name.

#vv writes #mark smut #mark lee smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #mark hard hours #mark lee hard hours #nct hard hours #nct 127 hard hours #nct dream hard hours

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onlymingyus · 1 year

Text

Do Re Mi (70;teen Collab)

pairing; wen junhui x f reader

genre; smut (minors dni), fluff

warnings; unprotected sex, breeding kink, wife!reader, husband!jun, talk about having a baby, fingering, crying, mild dacryphilia, marking, scratching, cumplay, jun is able to lift the reader, there is a possibility i have missed some warnings

w/c; 4k and some change

70s;teen Collab Masterlist

a/n; hope you enjoy. this is my fic for the 70s:teen collab, please make sure you read all the other amazing fics on the masterlist! thank you to @onlyhuis and @wonwussy for proofreading.

before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here

Jun lets out a tired breath as he uses his heel to push the front door shut before leaning against it. It had been a long day and he had been longing for this moment at least half of the day. After countless hours of answering students’ questions and being at the beck and call of the professor, Jun was relieved to finally be safe in the home he shared with you.

It didn’t matter to him that it was small or that the sinks leaked. It didn’t matter that the walls were thin and that the windows shook when the train went by. Because you didn’t have to travel for work, not when the apartment was right above the little record store you ran. The most important part was that no matter how many problems this place gave Jun, its biggest selling point was that you lived there with him.

The sound of The Monkees causes Jun to smile a bit as he pushes off the wooden door stepping into the living room towards the sound. You were different from him and that was what made you so special in Jun’s eyes. Where he tried hard to be responsible, frugal, sensible. It oftentimes made him seem, to those on the outside, boring and reserved.

You on the other hand were every bit a child of the times, a free spirit. A small breath of a laugh escapes Jun’s lips when he finally finds you in the kitchen. Your bare feet skate across the linoleum, a wooden spoon in your hand as you dance along with the music. The smell of the soup you were working so hard on filled the man’s nose and Jun finds himself falling even more in love with you.

There was no way that anyone could look at you and ever find you boring. To those who didn’t know you and Jun well, you two seemed like an impossible pair, but in truth, you were the reason he felt like he could breathe. You were the reason he knew how to dance. He was the reason you were stable. You were each other's balance.

“Babe, you know how to make me smile. You know that?”

Jun’s voice draws you out of your moment, but you don’t seem to mind. Instead, you find yourself unable to hide your enthusiasm. You could tell how tired he was, but the fact that he did this every day and still managed to make you feel like you were on top of the world every day showed how great of a man he was.

Moving into his arms, you let the hand holding the spoon rest over his shoulder as you grip his loose tie resting under his sweater vest with the other to pull him down to your lips. Jun chuckles against your lips, his own hands finding your hips, fingers pressing into your flesh through your thin dress as he returns your kiss.

“I missed you. Don’t leave me again. Quit your job, we can live off the land.”

Laughing again, Jun gives you one last kiss having heard the same words from you every day for the past year. He wished he could tell you yes. As much as he’d love to spend everyday with you on some farm away from the city, he knew he didn’t want his studies to go to waste.

“So tempting, but I have to take care of my pretty little wife. Start a family with her. You understand don’t you, my little bird?”

Leaning back you just smile because it was almost the same conversation you shared every day and yet you never grew tired of it. You weren’t sure how you’d ever get tired of hearing Jun call you his wife or hearing how much he wanted to start a family with you. It seemed no matter how tight money was, that was still the most important thing to him in the world.

“Mm, I do. Tell me about your day. The soup is almost done.”

Jun lets you slip from his fingers though it feels like the most difficult thing he has done all day. Watching you move back to the stove, he leans against the counter with a small sigh before reaching up to undo his tie completely. His eyes never leave you though they move up and down your body as you still sway to the music.

“It smells great. It was just another day at the university, honestly. I’m too pooped to pop. I’m sure some food and rest will do me some good.”

You laugh at Jun’s words, shaking your head as you push the spoon through the mixture in front of you as it bubbles steadily.

“You work too hard. You are a real catch, Jun. I got lucky, I know I should do more than the record store.”

Shaking his head, Jun frowns a bit at your words. Pulling the tie from his neck, he wraps it around his hand as he speaks looking down at the red material.

“Absolutely not. It makes you happy, I like you happy. We do alright. I won’t be an assistant forever. I’ll finish up this degree and I’ll be the professor. I’ll make bread. We’ll be more than comfortable. Don’t you worry about that. Promise?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you let your eyes fall to Jun’s hands before you find his eyes so you can offer him a smile and a nod. You believed in him more than anyone in the world.

“Yeah, of course. Go get changed. Not that I don’t like seeing you all decked out, but maybe being comfortable might help you relax.”

Jun can’t help but grin at your suggestion. He knew you were right. Pushing away from the counter, he nods, stepping in behind you. You are the one smiling when you feel his lips brush against your neck and his fingers against your stomach pulling your ass back against his hips.

“Mmkay. I’ll be right back. I love you.”

A smile stays on his lips as he hears you repeat the words back to him even as he trudges toward the bedroom leaving you to do what you were doing. It doesn’t take long before he is back in the kitchen with you. Instead of trousers, a button-up, a sweater vest, and a tie you smile as your husband sets the table wearing loose pants and a sweater you had bought for him. The day’s stress already seemed to melt from him with each passing moment.

Dinner conversation passes with ease as always. Jun talks about his day but is always more interested in yours. His smile never ceases to make you feel warm and a bit shy at times no matter how long you have been with him.

“That sounds like a great day, babe. Business is good then.”

You laugh into a final bite of your food allowing Jun to take your dishes. The man never seemed to allow you to both cook and clean. Biting your lip, you tilt your head watching as he pushes his sleeves up moving towards the sink to go about his task as he still stays attentive to your words.

“Yeah, it’s bitchin’. I love the store. Just music all day long, Jun. It’s like heaven on earth.”

Jun grins, his hands covered in soap as he carefully washes the bowls knowing he has broken more than one in the past by accident.

“Well, you own it. How can it not be heaven?”

Rolling your eyes, you move from your seat to push in the chairs before making your way over to your husband. Wrapping your arms around his waist from behind, you can almost hear the smile on his breath when you lay your cheek against his back.

“You are really certified. You know that right? Nobody talks like that. You’re cheesy.”

Laughing, Jun washes the soap from his hands and dries them before lifting his arms and turning in his embrace to face you. With a smirk on his face, he goes as far as to bite on his bottom lip and shrug his shoulders.

He was your ground in this chaotic world and right now this was all that mattered. Shaking your head you take a step back towards the living room causing him to laugh as you sway your hips to the music playing low on the record player. It was different from before. This was music for slow dancing, music for lovers.

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

Jun smiles brightly when a smile spreads across your pretty face. It didn’t matter how tired he was. Your smile was like a shot of vitamin c injected right into his veins.

“Maybe. I got good vibes about things lately. I’m thinking you should take me to bed,..”

His smile only falters for a moment as Jun licks his lips, his brows furrowing at your words. You made it hard for him to keep his cool around you. It didn’t matter if you two had been married for two years or twenty…Jun felt it in his soul you were going to keep him on his toes.

“You sayin’...”

It’s when you nod, your footstep still walking the two of you backwards closer to the bedroom that Jun’s breath hitches in his throat. The two of you had talked about starting a family a hundred times but the financial situation was never right. It still wasn’t in Jun’s mind… but you saying what you had, Jun couldn’t think about anything else.

A gasping laugh finds your lips when Jun moves quickly picking you up in his arms. Your hands on his shoulders, you kick your legs only to stop when you feel his lips press against the rising fabric of your shirt. A short huff of breath escapes him and you find yourself suddenly furrowing your brows. Your fingers running through his hair as he takes the last few steps through the door to your shared bedroom to lay you on the bed.

Your fingers still threading through your husband’s soft locks, you find your eyes closing to the feeling of his lips finding purchase on your skin as his fingers gently work the button of your jeans loose in the dimly lit room. The only sounds are that of your soft moans, panting breaths, and his strategic kisses that seem to mesh with the music from the living room.

Lifting your hips to the feeling of Jun’s fingers pushing against your hips, you smile finally looking down at him in the low light to find his eyes on you. He had a way about making you feel shy by doing something so simple. Just his eyes on your face as he worked your jeans over your thighs, his breath fanning over your abdomen was enough to cause your cheeks to feel like you were standing too close to an open flame.

“Jun…”

Now he was smiling at your tiny whimper of his name. God, you were like a dream. How had he landed you, Jun would never understand, but he counted his blessings each and every day and especially any chance he had the privilege to between your thighs.

“What is it, little bird? You sound so pretty tonight.”

A soft happy sigh on your lips causes Jun’s eyes to close momentarily as he drops your jeans onto the floor and his hands slide along your legs towards your hips once again. You were better than music. He knew that you’d argue with him on that. There was little that you enjoyed more than your records, but there was nothing he enjoyed more than the little sounds that slipped out of your lips when he was touching you.

“I want you to make love to me Jun. Wanna have a baby…”

The last sentence is spoken much quieter than the first. It’s almost as if you are afraid to say it too loudly. Either out of embarrassment or more that if you say it too loud it might not happen. His hands begin to shake, Jun presses his fingers into the top of your panties as his eyes finally move over your face once again. You watch him take in a steading breath, his eyes somewhat darker even noticeable in the dim light.

“That’s what you want? Me to make love to you in our bed?”

Jun watches you nod, your fingers moving to your lip as you smile shyly at his words as if they are dirty. He could talk dirty when he wanted to and he hadn’t even started. Biting at his bottom lip, Jun’s eyes fall on your hips as you rock them back and forth while his hands work your panties downwards. You were still dancing for him, even in the bed.

“You want me to put a baby in you?”

Your cheeks burn as you nod quickly, your fingers finding the comforter under your body to hold onto tightly as Jun’s nails scratch along your legs, your panties ending up at your ankles. Your husband grins to himself at how you are acting, how desperate you have become even as he feels his cock pulsing with need in his jeans.

“Then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll fuck you slow and sweet.”

Jun’s name is whispered on your lips and he smiles into his words once your bottom half is completely exposed to him. Raising his eyebrows, Jun slides his arm around your waist, lifting you up to sit on the bed so he can shimmy your shirt over your head. You whine, your fingers pulling at his shirt once you are naked in front of him, wanting him to join you.

“I’m working on it, baby. I said slow and sweet. Did you want something different?”

Jun watches you smile, your fingers trailing after his own as he finally loses his sweater among the clothes on the floor.

“Maybe…what if slow and sweet doesn’t win the race, Jun.”

Laughing, Jun lets your fingers play with the top of his pants before he uses your hands to push them down along with his underwear, making you suck in a breath. It didn’t matter how many times you saw your husband naked it always felt like the first time. His body was perfect. The way his hips led in a perfect v to his cock.

“I think it does, but I promise you…my pace won’t matter, little bird. What is going to matter is that I’m going to fill you full of me.”

Jun meant that in every meaning of the phrase. He knew that he was just the right size to fill your pussy completely. He couldn’t wait to feel you around him. He could also already feel his mind going crazy at the idea of his cum inside of you. The idea of it dripping out of you so that he could push it back in, keeping you full of him.

His hand sliding along your side, Jun rests his knee between your thighs on the bed as he hovers over you. The man’s eyes move over your face before he brings his hand to your face, letting his thumb trace your soft bottom lip lightly.

Your body vibrates with desire. Your back arches as you feel the heat of his body radiating towards your own wanting more contact with him, and yet Jun takes his time. You watch your husband smile as his thumb strums along your jaw, his fingers sliding along the side of your head when he finally leans down to press his lips to yours in a breathtaking kiss.

No thoughts, only your mind repeating the same name over and over again as your nails rake along his sides.

‘Jun, Jun, Jun…’

The thoughts are so loud it surprises you that his name doesn’t slip out between moans that Jun claims as his own. Smiling against your lips briefly, Jun’s brows furrow, feeling his abdomen tighten with want when your tongue begs for entrance into his mouth and glides along his own. Between the passion of your kiss and the way you were pressing against his leg now nestled between your thighs, Jun’s brain felt like it was spinning.

“Fuck–you are so good, baby. I love you so much.”

You can’t help but whimper to Jun’s words that are spoken against your lips and jaw as his kisses dance along your skin to your neck. You were clinging to your husband, soft whispered begs falling from your lips as his leg slides from your thighs leaving you feeling too empty.

“Pl–lease…Jun. I need you. I love you. I can’t wait anymore.”

Jun grins against the column of your neck hearing your words against the shell of his ear. Your breath was hot and your words made his body shiver. You needed him. He needed you. Always and forever. That had been the promise made at an altar in front of family and friends. He had promised to love and take care of you for always and forever…

“Mm, so beautiful. My pretty wife. You need me?”

Tears on the rims of your eyes, you nod firmly to Jun’s question knowing he already knew the answer. His fingers brush under your eye, a small cooing sound slipping from his lips as he nods in return.

Your eyes are so beautiful, he thought causing him to move slower than he would have on a normal night. Jun watches your lips fall open to the feeling of his fingers sliding between your wet folds. He relishes in the soft whimpered moans that meet his ears as he circles his middle finger around your wanting entrance.

“You are so wet… You want me that bad?”

The tears that had been on the rim of your eyes now trail along your cheeks as you nod and mutter yes to answer Jun’s question, feeling just his finger to the first knuckle teasing you. No matter how much you moved your hips trying to feel more, it managed to only tease you and praise you for your patience.

Placing a kiss on your cheek, Jun smiles against your skin as he brushes away your tears with his fingers. He knew you weren’t sad. You just needed him that much and he wouldn’t make you wait any longer. With his breath warm against your jaw, Jun listens to your moans changing pitch when he lines himself up with you and pushes in slowly. His eyes close and goosebumps spread along his skin not only to the feeling of your warm walls clenching every inch of him but also to the way the rest of your body molds to him.

Your right knee slides to Jun’s hip as your left foot rests over his hip allowing him to thrust into you deep and hard. He was keeping his promise of going slow. You could feel every ridge of his cock as he slid from you only to be swallowed back by you inch by inch.

“Perfect… you’re perfect, baby. God, you are holding me so tight. Wanna fill you up, little bird.”

Jun’s lips find yours though he keeps speaking against them between kisses. His words made your head spin with more desire. It was exactly what you wanted. You wanted him to fill you up. That was his promise.

“Do it, Jun… please? Know what I said, remember? Know what I want, what we want.”

Moving his head down, Jun can’t help but groan low and deep against the crook of your neck at your words. His pace picks up speed as he feels his climax quickening in his abdomen like a glass about to shatter.

“I–I… fuck, I know, babe. I know… I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you a baby.”

Your nails scratch at Jun’s shoulder when his thrusts become more intense. Your eyes closed tightly, you can’t hide the soft happy sound that leaves your lips when Jun says he will give you a baby. You knew he would. You had a good feeling about tonight.

Hand flat against his shoulder, you arch hard off the bed, feeling your orgasm rip through you like waves against the rocks during a storm. Jun groans your name, sweat rolling from his temples as he feels your walls clench and flutter around him as you cum.

There was no way he could keep himself from following you as your body seemed to want him to do so. His mouth latching to your soft skin, Jun hisses against your neck as he leaves a small mark that will bloom darker by the morning as he spills into you.

With each thrust towards your hips, Jun’s groans fill your ears as his cum begins to drip from you only to be pushed back in by the next thrust. Meeting your eyes, Jun sucks on his bottom lip before letting it fall from between his teeth as he mutters your name and his hips come to a stop between your thighs.

Your fingers slide along his back and down his arms as Jun’s nose nuzzles against your jaw pushing your head back against the pillows. A laugh slips from your lips, and he smiles against your neck between tender kisses. He gently slips his softening length from you and leans back to look between your legs.

Shaking his head, Jun mutters a curse under his breath at the sight of you, at how perfect you are with his cum slowly dripping from between your folds. The feeling of his fingers sliding over your swollen folds causes you to jump, but the soft sound of his calming voice keeps you grounded as Jun pushes his cum back into you making sure not a drop is wasted.

“All of it baby… mmm, make my head go crazy looking like this. I could almost go again.”

Biting on your lips, you stifle a laugh. Your thighs shake as the heel of Jun’s hand rocks over your clit. A sly grin spreads over his face as you try to keep the moan at bay when he knows your body almost as well as you do.

“But I’ll be good…”

Kissing your shoulder, Jun lazily pushes his fingers into you as he thinks about what you had said that had led the two of you to bed in the first place. His smile softens as he feels your hand wrap around his wrist and your cheek resting against his forehead.

“You can’t keep it inside me forever, Jun…”

He disagreed but he was also a smart enough man to know it wouldn’t change the outcome, no matter how much enjoyed the feeling or the sight of it.

“Mm, I could. You are just so pretty, but you are right. We need to get cleaned up. I can make love to you again tomorrow and the next day… and the next…”

Your giddy laugh causes Jun to laugh along with you, his fingers slipping from between your legs so he can pull you into his arms. You find yourself smiling against his kiss before melting into it as his hand glides along your back holding you as closely as he can manage.

“You want a baby that bad, Jun?”

Smiling against your lips, Jun nods. He listens to your soft whines that he swallows with his kiss as his nails scratch along your hip. He wanted a family with you more than anything. He wanted to make you happier than you were today. Tomorrow he would want to make you happier the next day and the next. He’d never stop, and if he was lucky enough to be a dad he’d work even harder to make you and that baby happy.

Turning on his back, Jun lets you rest your chin on his chest as he looks up at the ceiling. His fingers trailing along your back as the record player plays the last song. You can’t help but run your fingers over your lower stomach as you feel your heart tighten at the sight of your husband happy and content. You really did have a good feeling about today.

#jun smut #seventeen smut #svthub #svthub.collab #svt smut #junhui smut #jun fluff #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #junhui fluff #jun x reader #junhui x reader #seventeen x reader

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totheblood · 1 year

Text

superposition. (four)

pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader

summary: a flashback to when ellie and petal first met...they hang out in a bathroom for some reason?

warnings: 18+, no smut! (i'm sorry it's just necessary for the plot) cursing, drug/alcohol mention and use, cheating if u squint

a/n: i am so sorry but this chapter has no smut and yes that was a decision i made on purpose, it will be back and i am already working on it so don't be mad at me.. this chapter is important for the plot and is mainly from ellie's point of view. also there are ai audios but they are not ... nasty... cause no smut! also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses

wc: 2.9k

masterlist for previous chapters

"why don't we rely on chemistry?"

It was decided, Ellie wanted to crawl inside your chest and live there forever.

She can’t remember a time she’s felt this involved with someone, this desperate for another person’s touch. Any free space of her mind was taken up by you, by your smell, the way your skin felt under her fingertips. There was only you.

Ellie had always fantasized about this being a reality. About you leaning into her, delicately murmuring her name onto her flesh, coming undone on top of her several nights in a row, but she never expected it would hurt as much as it did. Every time you rushed out the door, fixing your hair in the mirror before you went, or she checked your location and saw that you were at some new restaurant or bar, her heart sank to her chest.

She was unsure of what she expected when she first kissed you. She knew it was a bad idea, that nothing could come from it that would stop the swirling in her stomach when it came to you. The pit in her stomach could only be filled by you, by being on, around, or inside you.

Ellie had met you during her junior year in high school when she was just starting to discover herself. She always knew she liked girls but before she turned 16 she had never kissed one. Everything about her was more chaotic at 16, her freckles seeming more scattered and auburn hair always slightly messy. She had been falling behind in most of her classes, except physics, and found herself not sleeping. She was an overly anxious kid with a mind that never stopped turning until she met you.

Jackson was a small town with an even smaller high school; everyone had some connection to someone. So when you sauntered into class, with shaking hands gripping the straps of your backpack unsure of where to sit, Ellie had offered you Dina’s seat. She told herself she was just being kind and it wasn’t because Ellie’s brain came to a halt when she saw you, which was wildly untrue. Dina cursed her out for giving you her seat, but when she grew to know you she understood.

Ellie was soccer captain, the one sport that the high school had for girls. When her body was moving she wasn’t thinking, all she could think was: ball, net, don’t trip, you? You slipped into her mind when she was on the field, looking up and seeing you perched on the bleachers, a book in your hand. Upon seeing you, she smiled to herself, but that smile was quickly wiped off her face as another girl on the team bumped into her, shaking her from her thoughts.

She approached you after practice, wiping the sweat from her forehead and briefly smelling her pits before getting too close. Your legs crossed over each other as you hummed, flipping the pages in the worn-down book and not noticing Ellie’s presence.

“Hey,” she grinned, hands coming forward to lean on the rail of the bleachers as she looked up at you, “came to watch me practice?”

“You wish,” you giggled, tucking your book into your backpack, “needed to find a quiet place to read. Not much action on the field.”

Ellie faked a gasp and rolled her eyes, hoping her face wouldn’t betray her but it did. The sweet blush crept up on her face as her eyes blinked at you, what a tease, she thought.

“Talking a lot of shit for someone who probably can’t make a goal,” she replied, making the playfulness in her voice evident. It was your turn to fake a gasp as your hand came over your chest.

“Excuse me, I’ll have you know I was goal champion back in New York,” you added a bit of cockiness to your voice, fully knowing you were faking it.

“Goal champion?”

“Yup.”

“Never heard of it.” Ellie laughed, shaking her head before turning back and seeing the field empty. The sun was going to set soon, nighttime just around the corner. She usually hated walking home in the dark, but decided she wanted more time with you. Any amount would do. “Wanna show me your moves, goal champion?”

“I don’t think you could handle it,” you giggled, picking your bag up and walking down the steps to the field.

“Try me,” Ellie looked back at you, a shit-eating grin on her face as she ran onto the field. The night was spent with you trying, and failing, to make one goal against Ellie. She giggled as you made one goal and threw your hands up in the air chanting ‘goal champion’. She decided to never tell you that she let you make that goal. Her smile never left her face and for a brief moment in time she wasn’t thinking about all the work she had to do, or how she was going to do it, or how Joel would react when he found out she failed her Algebra test, she was just happy. She slept like a baby that night thinking of the sound of your laugh.

She kept her crush on you secret, letting it fizzle out slowly. Every sleepover the two of you had, the fear that if you found out about her crush on you that you would think she was a creep crept up the back of Ellie’s neck. It was a fear that wasn’t exclusive to you, but the rest of her feelings were. The way you sat posed for her, smiling with your teeth on display as she painted a portrait of you for art class created a new feeling she had for you, and only you. She couldn’t name it but she believed it was love.

When you came around to look at the finished product, you gasped. Ellie had painted you with flowers coming out of your hair, tulips, lilies, and roses surrounding you. You never believed you could look that beautiful, but it was how Ellie saw you. Your mouth hung open as you gasped, eyes taking in the artwork and glossing over with tears. The pink, orange, and red hues adorning your pictured face.

“Ellie, this is-” Your mouth fell open again, eyes too shy to meet her.

“You like it?” Ellie asked nervously, eyes darting between you and the painting.

“I, I love it, Ellie,” then a smile was on your face from ear to ear, “I didn’t know I could look so beautiful… and the flowers I mean?”

“The flowers are meant to represent you,” Ellie’s voice was small as she looked up at you, “beautiful and delicate.”

When you beamed at her and brought a finger to trace the lines of her art she was sure she melted. It was over for her. Every waking moment would be now spent trying to get that reaction out of you. That was the day she began calling you ‘Petal’, her own face blushing at the memory.

Her plan had always been you, even when she wasn’t sure she was making a plan. So when you and Malia had become ‘Instagram official’ she couldn’t stop herself from keeling over and throwing up into the trash can she kept beside her bed. She didn’t feel like she was going to be sick, she was just sick.

There was jealousy, and then there was whatever Ellie was feeling right now. It was almost a blind rage. She knew she didn’t have any claim to you, but didn’t she? It was her fingers, her lap, and her mouth that you came onto, not your ‘girlfriend’s’ and Ellie made sure of that.

She didn’t feel the need to call you for two days after seeing the post. She texted you to let you know she was sick, which wasn’t technically untrue, and you texted her back a sad face paired with a message to get better before the formal on Saturday insisting that you couldn’t do it alone. She wanted to reply with some snarky comment about why your girlfriend couldn’t take you, but she refrained.

The upcoming formal was something you attended for Dina and Jesse’s sake. It provided an excuse for you to wear a fancy dress while also providing a large and willing customer base for Ellie. These things were boring, and at most became fun when the music got slightly more uptempo. The point was to raise money for the fraternities, not shake your ass in front of your classmates.

Despite how excruciating these things felt, you and Ellie had gone together for the past two years. She always wore a suit and tucked your pink flask into the pocket inside her jacket, spiking your drink whenever you flashed her the signal. What started out as a boring night always ended with you and Ellie in a fit of giggles on the bench outside the venue. It was one of those traditions that you continued to look forward to.

Ellie showed up that night, a tequila-filled flask pressed tightly against her shirt. She even felt bold enough to wear a bowtie. She waited in the lobby of the venue, occasionally staring at her feet as she waited for you to arrive. She expected to drive you but you told her that you would come on your own. That alone should have raised some flags.

You showed up with Malia, her arm linked with yours. Ellie's green eyes widened but she had to maintain her composure as you approached her with a giant smile plastered on your face and arms open for a hug. She took you in, breathing in your scent which now felt unfamiliar to her. You smelt like pink pepper, Malia was rubbing off on you. Ellie shivered at the thought.

“Malia,” your voice was sweet and sing-songy, “this is Ellie, my best friend.” You gestured to Ellie who reached out her hand to Malia, a smile on her face that said ‘I’ve fucked your girlfriend, in fact, I took her virginity and I felt good doing it’ but only she knew that.

“Nice to meet you, Ellie,” Malia said as she shook Ellie’s hand, her own warm smile on her face, “this one’s told me so much about you.” Internally, Ellie scoffed.

Ellie wanted to hate Malia, and for the most part, she did. She was objectively beautiful and had this aura around her that made things in the room glow. Everyone who knew her always raved about how kind and caring she was, you being one of them. Ellie wanted to hate her, but more than that she wanted you to be happy. Malia made you happy. She had to like her.

“Same here,” Ellie shook her hand before pulling it back. Her eyes glanced to the door of the room the event was being hosted in, classical music seeping from the walls. “Should we go in?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you smiled as you took Malia’s hand in your own and walked towards the room. Ellie followed after, feeling like a third wheel. This was the night that your tradition would die.

Ellie had to make some quick exchanges and so she had to reluctantly leave you. She didn’t want you to get too comfortable without her, but she had a job to do. When she returned she found you and Malia on the dance floor and had to actively ignore how much she wanted to throw up again.

Ellie leaned back against the cold metal backing of the chair as she watched you and Malia dance in the center of the room. You looked like you were having fun, laughing and throwing your head back as Malia whispered something in your ear. Malia’s hand was on the small of your back, mine, Ellie thought. Her lips grazed the shell of your ear, mine, Ellie’s mind rang again. Her hand moved down to rest at the top of your ass, min-

Fuck it, Ellie thought, as she got up and stormed out of the room. She found herself in the ladies' room, eating the mints that were in a bowl by the sink and taking swigs of the liquor she bought for you. The bathroom surprisingly smelt nice and some lady handed Ellie a five, thinking she was the bathroom attendant, and tipping her. She didn’t even try to correct her, she just thanked her by nodding her head and opening the door for the woman. Easy five bucks.

Then you were pushing through the door, looking underneath the stalls, and locking the bathroom door behind you. Ellie was so flustered she didn’t even know what to do. She just stood up straight as she watched your movements carefully.

“Hi?” she questioned, eyeing you with a confused look on her face.

“You brought the tequila?” You questioned, your eyes wide and frantic, glancing down to her chest where you knew the flask was.

“Oh, um-” Ellie’s fingers pulled the flask out and handed it to you. She watched you intently as you took a giant swig, attempting to pretend she couldn’t read you like a book. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m a shitty fucking girlfriend.”

“No, you-”

“Yes, I am,” you sighed, leaning your head back against the wall, hitting it with a cold thud. You were about to groan in pain when someone tried opening the door. “It’s fucking occupied!”

“Jesus, Petal,” Ellie cursed under her breath as she watched you take another swig from the flask.

“I just, I can’t do it,” your eyes looked glossed over, Ellie had to stop herself from pulling you into her arms, “She’s just so nice, and every time she tries to… you know, I just can’t.”

“Is she pressuring you?” Ellie’s voice had a bite to it as she crossed her arms across her face. Her eyebrows knit together and her mouth was in a permanent frown.

“No!” you quickly assured her, “not at all. She’s actually been really nice about it and I have no idea why I can’t just go all the way with her.”

“You’re not ready,” Ellie’s voice was softer now, “that’s okay. You don’t have to be.”

“Then why…” you took another deep breath, avoiding eye contact with her, “why am I ready to do it with you?”

Ellie’s breath caught in her throat, the words getting lost on her. She wanted to speak or to lean forward and kiss you, but she couldn’t. She was a lot of things, crass, rude, occasionally a bitch but the area that was once grey was now so clearly black. You had a girlfriend, and if she kissed you, she would be a homewrecker. She couldn’t speak, but she could whisper your name. It sounded like an apology.

“Ellie, I know you were just being a good friend but I think you ruined me.”

“What?”

“You’ve ruined me for anyone else. Every time I kiss her, it’s just…” Your hand came up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “It’s not you, and I can’t understand why that’s so disappointing.”

“I’m not,” Ellie breathed out the words, eyes staring at the floor, “I’m not a homewrecker, Petal. I can’t keep doing this.”

“I know,” you took a step closer to her, causing her eyes to look back up at you. She looked so sad, or conflicted, you were having trouble reading her, “I know you’re not, I’m sorry.”

“Do you like me?”

“Of course, I like you.”

“You know what I mean.”

“What does it matter?”

“It matters to me.” Her voice was louder now as she attempted not to choke. She knew the liquor was giving her the confidence to do this, but also knew that it would give you the push you needed to be honest.

“Do you like me?”

“Yes,” Ellie answered quickly, too quickly. You took a step back from her causing her to shrink almost immediately. This was the first time in her life she felt like she couldn’t read what was going on inside your head, “I like you, not as friends or any of that crap. I like you more than I like myself, more than I like anyone, and now that I know what it’s like to kiss you… I can’t go back to being your friend.”

“Ellie-”

“And you know this has been really shitty for me. This was supposed to be our night and you bought your girlfriend?” She took her own step back, leaning against the counter of the sink. “And I know this is my fault, I shouldn’t have kissed you or,” she made a weird gesture with her hand, “done any of that. I know but, it’s you, Petal. I would do anything for you. I will do anything for you, except for this.”

“Ellie, I-” your voice was cut off by the sound of your name being called from the other side of the door. It was like reality had hit the both of you and immediately you were both sober, “I have to go.”

“Of course you do.” Ellie rolled her eyes, moving back to sit on the bathroom counter. She watched as your nervous eyes scanned her and you turned around to open the door, hand stilling over the lock. Quickly, you turned around and hurried over to her and pressing a kiss at the side of her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed at the feel of your lips so close to her again. She was fucking losing it.

“We’ll talk about it?” You whispered, mouth still close to hers, “I have to go but can we please talk about it later?”

Ellie nodded, eyes still closed. She heard you breathe a sigh of relief before opening the door and leaving. She only opened her eyes when she knew you were gone, letting the tear slip down her cheek.

ai audios:

#mine #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fan fic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams oneshot #modern!ellie williams #college!ellie williams #ellie williams one shot

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denial-permanente · 4 months

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I love your page and that the two of you share so much of your lifestyle on here. I’m not sure if this is a statement or a question. I’ve read your answers about realistic feeling of this strap on you have and the technique of warming it up first. I just can’t wrap my head around your preference for it compared to the real thing. There has to be some give and take here like, it doesn’t feel as good but Tom’s technique with it is better than the real thing? Something along those lines. Stamina maybe? Either way thank you both for sharing so freely and so often!

😅 Oh boy, this is a hard one for some people... both women and men... to understand.

A lot of, women say that they don't like the feel of dildos, that they are unnatural, or they feel off, or they're too cold, or they just don't like the idea. I was kind of like that myself, and honestly I never even thought about using them with my husband. He was... very satisfying in bed and I honestly didn't feel the need to bring anything else in.

So, when my husband discovered the Vixskin company, he researched them carefully and bought a model that had a size and shape that was very close to his own. There was something about the feel of it that felt more normal to me. It wasn't quite him, but it felt okay and it was attached to him... so it was him close to me, his smell, his muscles, his arms holding me. I decided that I could live with it.

But here is the important part. After a while his wearing it began to feel totally normal. Just like having him locked all the time felt totally normal. I loved him being horny and affectionate all the time, I loved having all the control over our love life, and I loved how passionate he was making love to me while wearing the Tex.

When I missed feeling him come inside me I would unlock him... but those times became less and less often. We often went for months at a time without me wanting to unlock him... which meant that his wearing the Tex felt more and more natural to me.

Eventually he figured out the trick of warming it up before we made love, and that made things go from feeling natural to feeling... better. Like, I don't know why he didn't think of it sooner, it's so simple. But because I could feel the heat inside me it made our lovemaking more intense.

And now here the part that you men always ask about: unless your wife is a porn star, do not assume that she really wants a foot long monster inside her.

After 4 years of using only the Tex my husband asked if I wanted to try something bigger. While I honestly did not feel the need to I went along out of curiosity. We ended up with the Ranger X for several reasons. One is that it was supposed to have been made with a different process that made it more lifelike. Another is that when looking at the dimensions it was only a little bit bigger... maybe an inch longer and a half inch thicker. But when we first opened the package that little bit bigger on the website looked huge!

I have written before about what it was like getting used to it. But to the point of the question, I found that it made my husband feel the same to me but different... and in a good way.

Remember... when we make love I am feeling my husband holding me close, whispering in my ear, his weight on top of me, his hot cage pressing into my ass. All of those things are him... how he feels and smells and sounds. And because he is totally focused on me, he moves the way I want him to move to give me pleasure depending on my mood.

I guess what you were looking for was for me to say "I love the Ranger, but I miss my husband because..." except that there really isn't anything because I don't think of it that way. I do not think of him as wearing a strapon... I just think of it as doing what was very natural for us... just with something that feels even better than the Tex.

#chastity question #foxing

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sanjoongie · 7 months

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𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 𝕊𝕖𝕩: 𝕋𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕝𝕖𝕤

🥀Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Reader (f)

🥀Genre: Smut

🥀Rating: 18+, Minors Do not Interact

🥀Au: incubus au, Victorian au, witch au, historical au, demon au, supernatural au

🥀Trope: s2l

🥀Summary: an incubus thinks you're a tasty witch snack as a widow, and it's about to turn your day around

🥀Kinks: tentacles, triple penetration, breast and nipple play, fingering (f), anal (f), oral (m), penetrative sex with no barrier, colored cum, erotic electroshock, headspace, squirting

🥀Word Count: 1,715

🥀Betas: n/a

🥀Day Twenty Five: Free use/ Spit Play 🥀Mini Masterlist 🥀Day Twenty Seven: cuckolding

A crash in your dead husband’s study pulled you from a nap in your boudoir, not bothering with even a robe to cover your white chemise. No one had been in that room for years, and that got your heart pumping in your throat. Was there a burglar? A monster didn’t seem likely in the dead of day. Either way, you scampered in, curling your hands, preparing to weave a spell.

A handsome man, with his boots up, was sitting behind your dead husband’s desk. His arms were crossed behind his head, casual, as if he had every right to be in here. “Now, what do we have here?” He said in a melodic, low voice.

“Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing?!” You demanded.

“I knew something was drawing me to this house but I wasn’t sure who. You’re a sight for sore eyes, sweetheart,” The man proclaimed.

You put both of your hands on your hips. “Listen, there are no magical artifacts in this house. There’s no reason for you to be here. Leave.”

“The name's Yunho,” Yunho introduced himself, ignoring your command. He stood up from the desk and began to walk around.

“I don’t care who you are or what your name is. You should leave. Now.”

“Now why would I leave when I could provide you with a very important service that I believe you’ve been lacking for quite some time.” Yunho smirked.

You felt heat move up your face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Yunho circled you, like a predator after his prey. His words seemed to wind about you like a spell, curling something inside of your stomach that had lied dormant for many years. “I bet I could have you whimpering for me the minute I bend you over this desk, sweetheart.”

“How do you know?” You demanded.

“Your skin practically screams touch-starved,” Yunho whispered against your skin.

“I--I haven't been touched since my husband died,” You admitted barely above a whisper.

Yunho’s hands skimmed your curves over your white nightdress. “That's too bad. Your body is made for a lover.” He squeezed your breasts, your thighs, your ass. Anything he could get his hands on, he appreciated.

You whined in the back of your throat. “I…I can't!”

“What's stopping you, Sweetheart?” Yunho said in a deep voice.

“It's unbecoming of a lady witch,” You replied as Yunho’s hands slowly began to pull up your skirt.

“No one has to know,” Yunho tempted you, tongue hot on your neck, sucking and licking.

“They'll know!” You lamented. “They'll whisper behind their hands. They'll smell it on me.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Yunho chuckled, “the only people that will know that I fucked you good will be me and your pussy.”

“I… I want this so badly,” You whimpered.

“I can give you unlimited pleasure that you’ll never experience with a human. I just need your go ahead, lovely.” Yunho stood in front of you, flowing shirt and tight pants a temptation itself. You were thrown off by the human comment, however.

“What are you?” You demanded.

Yunho’s form wavered for a moment, like his body was emanating enough heat to mimic a heat wave. And then he gained certain features the bespoke of what exactly he was. He had horns that curled around the top of his skull. He had a tail that ended in a spade. His eyes had a ring of yellow around his iris. He screamed ‘incubus’ to you and you shivered.

“There is more.” Yunho’s eyes tightened in worry. “You can say no but I promise you, they will only give you pleasure.”

“More?” You said in awe that he had more hiding away that could give you pleasure. Your eyes immediately moved down towards his nether region.

Yunho couldn't help but laugh. “No, that one is obvious. Although you’re not exactly cold either.”

“Show me,” You said, some thrill-seeking nerve in you speaking out.

From behind his lower back came two long, black tethers. They moved of their own accord, one on each side of Yunho. “These are my tentacles. Succubus’s chose to receive wings as their extra feature, but us incubus's have these. They secrete their own viscous fluid, so you needn’t worry in that area. They provide me with some pleasure as well. If you must know.” Was Yunho… nervous about revealing his tentacles?

“Will you have me?” Yunho asked again. “Your body is drawing me in. Your magic is flirting with mine. I can’t stay here a moment longer if I can’t have you.”

If the allure of the demon himself hadn't been enough, that sentence sure was. Who could say no to an incubus that proclaimed that he would die without your touch?

“Oh-okay, Yunho. You have my permission. Take me as you will,” You stuttered.

Yunho smiled endearingly at you. “Okay, you asked for it.”

Yunho swiped everything off the desk and made you sit on it. He informed you that all you had to do was tap his arm, once ‘okay and twice ‘stop’. You might have wondered why you needed nonverbal communication until Yunho stuck one of his tentacles into your mouth. He moaned as your tongue naturally curled around it. He shallowly fucked your cheek and cursed.

“For someone so out of practice…” He gasped. He pulled out his tentacle, and you flicked the straps of your nightgown like you were both of the same mind. His two wet tentacles went straight for your nipples, swirling around the areola until your nipples pebbled, and then they wound around your breasts, squeezing them, the tips of the tentacles casually flicking your nipples.

You smiled wickedly. “How do you think I kept from pushing out brats for the old Warlock I was married to?”

You moaned as Yunho leaned in, cupping your cunt under the skirt of your chemise. “Oh, you’re wet and trembling, lovely.”

“This feels so gloriously good,” You admitted.

Yunho played with you with his fingers while his tentacles continued to play with your breasts. You pouted and panted at being stimulated so much. “I know… I need to… be spoiled… but! Don’t--oh god, right there!” You grabbed Yunho’s wrist and pressed his fingers in you further. “Fuck yes! Don’t forget--hnnnnnn--about yourself!”

Yunho was surprised for a moment before lifting an eyebrow at you. “Did you really enjoy my tentacle in your mouth that much?”

The heavy weight on your tongue had been one of your only pleasures in life. Yes, you did miss it. “Please put your nice tentacle in my mouth, Yunho?”

Yunho released one of your breasts to maneuver his tentacle into your mouth again. He was taken by surprise again when you wrapped both your hands around it and moaned. You added a sharp little zap with your magic and Yunho was the one moaning.

Your orgasm was approaching but Yunho didn’t want your first one to be with his fingers. He slowed his fingers inside of you and you whined.

“Gonna fuck you, sweetheart, don’t worry,” Yunho assured you.

Yunho yanked you by your thighs and brought you flush with the end of the desk. He easily squeezed into your wet cunt and you let out a choked cry. It had been so long, too long. The one tentacle that had been playing with your breast left your boobs slick with the liquid that kept the tentacles wet. It teased your puckered hole and you gasped around Yunho’s tentacle.

Yunho tilted his head cutely. “I told you that I’d give you more pleasure than a human ever could. My tentacles are perfect for your little virgin hole.”

You nodded your head and Yunho moved his tentacle like it was a tongue playing with your hole. He played with the sensitive nerves on the outside first until your muscles untensed. Meanwhile, your mouth and cunt were getting stuffed and you couldn't be happier. However, when Yunho pushed his tentacle in your puckered hole, you were driven to the ultimate pleasure, just like Yunho promised.

You squealed as you were fucked so throughly. Yunho looked wicked above you, his horns curving around his head and his tail curled around one of your ankles. His hands replaced the tentacles around your breasts. His nimble fingers played with your nipples, still slick with the tentacle's wetness. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head. You slipped into a place where only pleasure existed.

Yunho moved his mouth close to your ear to whisper, “When you come, it will be the most delicious feeding I’ll have ever had. Will you do that for me? Will you come hard for me? Let me feel pleasure in all of your holes with all my appendages?”

You weren’t sure if it was the fucking in your ass that you had never experienced but was nontheless a pleasurable expereince, or the way that Yunho’s curved dick stroked a place inside of you that you never even knew could be reached, but either way your climax was hard, just like Yunho wanted. You screamed around his tentacle and blacked out for a few minutes. Yunho squirted inside all of your holes, excreting a black, viscous liquid down your throat and in both of your lower holes. He came with a long, drawn-out moan, that honestly, if you had been able to focus on, just might have made you come a second time with how lovely it sounded.

Yunho removed all of his appendages from you quietly while you slowly but surely came back to earth. “Yu-yunho,” You gasped.

Yunho smiled brightly. “Good, right?”

You frowned when you saw a clear fluid on your thighs. “Did I?”

“You gave me the greatest honor. I made you squirt. It was glorious,” Yunho said with a boyish grin.

You pulled your straps up over your shoulders and summoned your robe with a flick of your wrist. It made it as far as the door before collapsing. Had Yunho fed from you so deeply that he had drained your magic reservoirs as well?

“You’re my new favorite snack, sweetheart, that’s for sure,” Yunho winked at you. And with a poof of sparkly smoke, he was gone. Well, he knew where you lived. You were sure he’d be back for more.

🥀Day Twenty Five: Free use/ Spit Play 🥀Mini Masterlist 🥀Day Twenty Seven: cuckolding

#joongfryefff24 #kvanity #kwritersworldnet #pirateeznet #cultofdionysusnet #mfu-net #ateez smut #jeong yunho smut #yunho smut #atz smut #jeong yunho x reader #topaz's work #ღatz

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blushcoloreddreams · 1 month

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Perfume IS an essencial: Here’s 4 reasons why

Good Afternoon Dear Reader! Happy Saturday directly from Argentina

Before we dive into today's topic, I wanted to talk briefly about why these "practical" and lighter and style blog posts are JUST as important as the heart-felt blogs on heavier topics and more practical ones like organization, cooking and cleaning tips

This blog is a place where I am trying to gather useful information to help us grow as feminine women, whether that is in our hearts, our homes, our lives, or even in our own skin. I believe in a well-rounded growth perspective: I am trying to improve many areas of my life, even if they are just practical and simple.

So today I wanted to talk about one of these more "practical and simple" topics: perfume.

At first glance this topic can seem kind of boring, like "yeah, no one likes smelling bad, so wear perfume, DUH." But I think perfume is so much more than that!

I believe that a spritz of perfume can actually improve your day, your confidence, and your overall aura as a feminine woman.

***DISCLAIMER: I know that smells can trigger allergic reactions in people, and there are actually fragrance-free zones such as certain churches or work environments. Do not break those rules just to follow my advice LOL!

The women jn my life were always had a passion from perfumery and I remember using it even as a child, but I only started being interested in it during my teenage years and in the past my interest and collection only grew. But I remember that during times of intense sadness in my life, I understand that something simple as even filling in your eyebrows can be a completely exhausting task! So much personal care falls off your daily routine when you can't handle what life is throwing at you and I think that adding perfume to your routine can be an easy way to elevate your grooming.

In order to really stick to this habit, I decided to focus on WHY I should wear perfume. So here we go! This may convince you too.

1. Perfume Adds LUXURY To Life

I know what some of you may be thinking: "I'm just at home, and deodorant is good enough for me!" or "I'm just in an office chair, why do I need to smell amazing?" and finally, "I'm just going to work out later so it doesn't matter!"

You know what I say to all those reasons?

You are an amazing woman and you deserve to have a little extra luxury in your day, even if you are behind a vacuum, a computer, or a treadmill.

Most of us aren't going to be lounging on a velvet chaise with champagne and a cashmere blanket wrapped around us tonight anyways! We're not living that lux life, so why not add extra luxury into our days?

When you're vacuuming the house or reading through spreadsheets, it can be easy to feel like cinderella BEFORE she went to the ball. A fragrance reminds you that you are an elegant, feminine WOMAN, and that you are WORTHY of a little luxury.

So pick up a fragrance you love, (doesn't have to be costly,) and indulge! You are WORTHY of that extra 10 seconds on yourself.

2. Perfume Can Make You HAPPIER!

So today I was spritzing on some body spray when I realized that I had a soft smile on my face. Seriously: I was just smiling to myself! Sol de Janeiro cheirosa 71 (my newest obsession! ) evokes a reaction of pleasure: it makes me smile.

Do you remember learning about the senses in school? They can evoke emotion, thoughts, feelings, and action. Touch can make you take action when you feel pain. Taste evokes pleasure when you encounter delicious food. Likewise, smell can evoke pleasant emotion or distaste.

If there was a little life hack that could have you smiling 2 more times a day than you already do, wouldn't you do it? Fragrance is SUCH simple way to accomplish this!

And a bonus? When you smell good, other people notice! I LOVE when my husband tells me I smell good, or when a friend goes in for a hug and comments that she loves the smell I'm wearing. Smelling good feels GOOD!

3. Perfume Helps You Get in Touch With FEMININITY

When I was a kid, Id watch every morning my mom and grandma get ready and wear their favorite perfumes ( that I have the smell in my memory to this day). I made a promise to myself that when I became a woman at the age of I would begin doing 3 things EVERY DAY: wearing lipstick, carrying a stylish purse, and wearing perfume.

I think I knew, even as a child, that perfume was for women. Full grown, feminine, gracious, beautiful women. Adding fragrance to your routine is a way of stepping into that feminine womanhood and embracing yourself.

Perfume can also be especially helpful for women who are kind of uncomfortable with their femininity. You can begin exploring the possibilities with just a small change. Add a bit of mystery, femininity, sweetness, or glamour to ANY outfit. Elevate your look and tip toe into femininity with a fragrance. Pair a ponytail and sneakers with some vanilla body spray: you might be surprised at how it makes you smile!

4. Perfume Helps You EXPRESS Yourself

I truly believe that the sense of smell is neglected in our modern culture. We are MUCH more focused on the visuals of our beauty routine: hair, fashion, makeup, etc. And why? Well, you can't smell a picture on Instagram! Why invest in something so small when no one can really experience it? Who cares about smell?

Well, maybe we SHOULD care! When you meet someone, you are taking them in through a lot of the senses: a firm handshake, the visuals of their face, the way their voice sounds, and yes, THEIR SMELL!

When you go out into the world, think about the entire picture of you as a person: your smell, your style, your "vibe." What is your overall aura? Perfume can help you add a dimension of creative expression to your overall vibe and style. Express yourself!

***Bonus tip: Hydration is essential for perfume performance and it starts from the inside by drinking enough water and continues with applying lotion before your perfume. (Even better if you can do it post shower when your skin is still a bit damp). Some people also apply a small bit of vaseline or petroleum jelly to your wrists and neck (the pulse regions) before you spray. It helps your scent last longer!

And closing, perfume can add luxury to our day, help us feel happy, help us get in touch with femininity, and allow us to express ourselves! What's not to love?

xoxo

Júlia

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the-californicationist · 9 months

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Guile & Guilt (Ch. 09)

Soap/Reader - MDNI/18+ AO3 Link

WEDNESDAY — Evening: 2 days until the wedding

The worst part was the pretending. You thought that you’d be in the most pain when you were alone, sobbing in your room, clutching Marlowe like a comfort stuffie, but that wasn’t it. The hardest thing, actually, was smiling when you should be smiling.

No, the hardest thing was staring down at his bed and knowing you had to sleep in it because why shouldn’t you sleep in it? What reason could you tell her that you weren’t able to climb into his sheets and smell his scent in your nose again?

You couldn’t tell her that the softness of his Rangers jersey felt like thorns to you now. You couldn’t tell her why you’d prefer to sleep on the couch, the floor, outside — anywhere but his bed. No. You had to smile, and it needed to be believable. It couldn’t be a masked grimace through tears like you’d been using to get back and forth from the coffee shop and your bed, unable to even make yourself a boiled egg.

You’d come down, as planned, for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night, and the real kicker — the stake that just twisted right into your heart — was that Johnny and his whole team would be down, too. Of course all the hotels (of which there were one) and the bed and breakfasts were booked solid. So, they’d all just crash here, as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing except for you.

You were anything but ordinary. You were desperate for some sort of relief from the pain in your chest. Every time you looked down at your phone, you felt it. You ignored the 47 missed calls and the countless text messages, keeping it on silent no matter what. You’d gotten calls from him, from all of his friends, even one from Ghost. You didn’t return them. You thought he had even come to your door one night, but you didn’t answer it. You couldn’t. All you could do was tell yourself to breathe, to eat, to shower, and to make it to the next hour in one piece so you could get through this wedding without falling the fuck apart.

“You all set in here, babe?” Pidge asked behind you, watching you stare down at the empty bed, “Johnny’ll be here in just a bit so be sure to claim the good side before he does.”

She laughed. You laughed. You sounded crazy.

“Makin’ your favorite tonight. Chicken tikka,” she was talking to you like a parent talks to a child when they know something is wrong but are determined not to pry.

“Thanks, Pidge. I’ll come help in a moment.”

“Alright,” she smiled again and shut the door.

You dropped your bag and waited what you assumed was a normal amount of time before heading out into the kitchen, a brave mask on in place of your face.

She set you to work after you washed your hands, and you were grateful for it. Pidge was talking for you, retracing her steps from her hen do, telling you the parts she couldn’t remember. It was as if everything she’d said to Johnny had just disappeared into thin air, and you wondered how much of that was by choice or by accident. She didn’t even remember you getting a cab.

Now, she was gushing about how amazing her photographer was, and how he was coming down for the walkthrough. You nodded when you needed to nod; you smiled when you needed to smile.

“...told him you’d stand in for me at the altar.”

“What?” You’d missed something important.

“The photographer needs to shoot Hamish and I, but we cannae be at the altar until our wedding, obvi, so I told him you and Lachlan would be the stag and hen for that practice shoot. Is that alright?” She was looking at you like she’d made a mistake.

You shook your head,

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. No problem. Whatever you need me to do.”

The front door creaked open and you almost dropped the saucepan onto the floor.

“Pidge?” His voice called through the house.

“In the kitchen!” She called back.

You stirred the sauce.

He must have been staring at you because Pidge made a comment,

“We’re doing chicken tikka. It’s her fav, and I thought she deserved it after what I put her through last weekend.”

“Aye,” his tone was odd, “I’ll go drop my bag. The lads are on their way in.”

You could tell he left the room. It was as if your body could sense it somehow. You wondered if he was staring at the bed. You wondered if it would feel like thorns for him, too.

Why would it?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You screamed inside of your mind. Get it together.

You stirred the sauce. It was the only thing you could do. If someone had tried to take the pan from you, you might have smacked them with it.

Hamish came up beside you with the cream,

“Ready for me?”

“Sure,” you held your spoon away so he could pour it in.

“Smells great. Go sit, lass. I poured you a wine. I’ll make your wee plate.”

You smiled at Hamish and marched yourself over to the table. Price came in and saw you sitting there, and after he said hello to Ham and Pidge, he sat next to you in some sort of act of mercy. Hamish poured him a wine as well and they caught up. Small talk. Just the weather. You performed your vanishing act, becoming invisible.

Until you weren’t.

His eyes bored into you from the hallway as he made his way into the kitchen. He was forced to sit all the way at the other end of the table, as far from you as he could be, next to Gaz and Ghost.

Everyone was chatting, drinking, eating. And you worked hard to be unseen. But, he just kept staring. You felt his eyes when you took a bite, when you dropped your fork, when you wiped your mouth… he may as well have been pinning you down with his huge hands; you were so scrutinized. You felt like you were being dissected, a frog on a student’s desk, your heart plucked out for examination.

What was he looking for? Forgiveness? Wrath? You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to guess. You wanted to melt into the carpet like a fallen ice cube, to evaporate into nothingness so you didn’t have to feel his eyes on you anymore.

Suddenly, you looked up at him, catching him. Only then did he look away. He must have seen something inside of you that answered his question.

You cleaned up the plates, making an excuse to do the dishes while everyone else lounged in the den.

Then, disaster. Hamish cut himself while putting away his knives. Blood rushed out of the cut and down his elbow, dripping onto the counter and the tile. You rushed over with a towel,

“Here, put some pressure.”

Pidge took over for you, and she told you,

“Go check Johnny’s bag. He’s got a wee first aid kit in there, I know he does.”

You looked around for Johnny to make him do it instead, but he’d gone outside to smoke with Price, so you jogged off to his room alone. His bag was on the bed, and you took a deep breath before unzipping it, staying tight to your mission. Then, you spotted the little red kit near the bottom. You pulled it out in a hurry, and the rucksack dropped to the floor, spilling its contents.

“Shit,” you muttered, bending to clean it up.

You tossed all the clothes back in, but you noticed a journal that had fallen out. It was splayed open, its spine facing you. Your hands shook a bit as you went to pick it up. Then, you saw the one thing you hadn’t expected to see: you.

Your face was sketched out in careful detail. There were little scratches of pen for the shadows, and negative space for the highlights. Your eyes were looking off in the distance, and your smile was soft, almost like it wasn’t even there. You looked beautiful.

You couldn’t help yourself. You flipped the page. You found a map, and a sketch with some attack dogs, but in the margin you saw Sonnet 91. You turned the page again. Your face was everywhere. Your body, your eyes, your hands… you were scattered across the paper in bright blue ink. Then, Sonnet 145. Coffee stains and what may have been blood marred the masterpieces he had left behind. You flipped again, and it was you. Pieces of Sonnet 29. Then you. You were on every page. All of the images of war and maps and guns disappeared and now it was just you, you, you.

Your heart slammed into your mouth and you couldn’t breathe. You thought of golden sunrises across the Urzikstani desert half a world away, imagining him sitting on the open tailgate of a Humvee with this book open in front of him. You thought of how closely he had watched you for months; how his hands had traced the curves of your body so beautifully sketched before you. How he had noticed the three freckles on the side of your eye, the ones you thought no one could see.

You shoved the book back in the bag and ran back into the kitchen, first aid kit in hand.

Pidge noticed something was wrong.

“You alright, hen?”

“Just squeamish,” you feigned nausea, pointing to Hamish’s blood.

Johnny came back in from the porch, looking at you, distress creasing his brow,

“What’s happened?”

“Hamish…” You gestured at the injured man, pointedly avoiding looking at Johnny.

“Don’t like the sight of blood, thief?” Price asked, using your nickname. In your periphery you could see Johnny stiffen at the comment, but no one else seemed to notice. Price continued, suggesting, “Why don’t we go for a walk.”

“Thanks, John,” Pidge smiled at him, glad that he could tend to you as she was tending to her fiance.

You let yourself be led out of the house through the front door. Price had you by the arm, none too gently, you thought, and walked you into the cool night air, wrapping his jacket around you and shutting the door.

He was relighting a fat cigar, letting the smoke linger in his mouth, walking slowly, aimlessly down the path, without a destination in mind, leading you nowhere.

“Are you alright?” He asked, knowing the answer.

“No.”

You weren’t sure why you told him the truth. He was just going to run back and report to Johnny. But, there was something in his eyes that made you think he genuinely cared, and you so desperately needed someone to care.

“Have you listened to his side of it?”

“No.”

“Do you want to?”

You didn’t answer. You wanted to say no, but something stopped you.

Price stopped walking, his boots scraping in the gravel of the path, his bright blue eyes icy and a little sad.

“Listen,” he frowned, “I’ve known Johnny a lot longer than you. I’ve seen him broken. I’ve seen him scared. I’ve seen him mad, and drunk, and happy, and beaten�� but I’ve never seen him like this.”

You crossed your arms in his jacket, trying to find some warmth. Suddenly, you felt Price’s finger dig inside of the neckline of your shirt. You almost knocked his hand away, but he put up his other in a sign of peace. And when he found what he was looking for, he smiled.

He’d pulled out Johnny’s dog tag from beneath your shirt, and you knew you’d been caught. Price held the coin up to you like the sacrament, discovering your shame, bringing your sin out into the open. In that moment, you wanted to bend down on both knees and take it into your mouth, and you wanted him to make you whole again with it.

“This isn’t like him,” he said, the porch light made the silver gleam, and it blinded you for a moment, “He’s generous enough with his smiles and compliments, but he doesn’t give freely of himself. Not like this. Would’ve thought you’d known. He’s kept himself hidden all this time. But, not from you.”

You cried. You didn’t want to. You bit your lip and furrowed your brow. You swallowed your spit and tried to breathe through the tears, but they came anyway. He held you to his chest, and you knew his tee shirt would be wet from your weakness, but he kept a steady hand on your back, regardless.

He tucked the tag back into your shirt and it lay cold against that spot between your breasts; the same spot Johnny had kissed you when he’d taken your guilt from you the first night you’d been together, there, in his bed. You thought Price would make some sort of face, some judgment. But, he didn’t. He simply walked you back inside and held the door for you.

You went through it on your own accord, and Johnny’s eyes were the first thing to greet you. He raked them over you like a forest fire, burning you from roots to boughs, seeing Price’s jacket over your shoulders and lingering on it for a while until you handed it back to his captain.

“All covered!” Hamish chuckled, holding up his bandaged finger to you, “Sorry, babes.”

You smiled,

“No worries. I think I’m just tired from the ride in. Gonna lay down early.”

Pidge caught your attention,

“Don’t forget, you and Johnny have to make it before two. Pictures are at two.”

You nodded, retreating to what used to be a sanctuary. Now, it felt more like a cell.

Your goal was to get to sleep before he could join you. You knew it would be too suspicious for him to follow you into his room, so you had the advantage of time. How strange it was to avoid what you had been craving.

You climbed into the sheets, and you did your best to ignore all of the memories that kept rushing back. The smear of her purple lipstick across his soft earlobe haunted you like a ghost.

THURSDAY — Midnight: 1 day until the wedding

He came in as quietly as he could, but you woke up anyway. You tried your best to pretend to be asleep, keeping your breathing heavy and long. It was pitch black, and when he sat on the bed, you heard the familiar creak of the coils.

He pulled the covers back, he fluffed the pillow, he took off his watch, and then he just… laid there.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting he would do. Wake you up? Demand your attention? You’d shut him out completely. He knew his company was unwanted.

The dark voice laughed at you in your head. It knew the truth. It wanted him to fight for you. It wanted him to beg for your mercy. It wanted him to take you in his arms anyway, despite your protests. It wanted him to ignore your wishes. It wanted the animal in him to claim the animal in you, to remind you that you were his woman and that he could do with you as he wished.

But, he wasn’t an animal. He was a man, and he respected you enough to stay on his side of the line.

It was only when he thought you were well and truly asleep that you felt his finger graze the metal chain of his dog tags on the back of your neck, not heavily enough to wake you, but enough to feel that they were real. You wondered if Price had ratted you out or if Johnny had noticed himself. You thought it was the latter, knowing him.

You passed out eventually, listening to the sound of his quiet snoring, your pillow soaked from tears that had spilled out across the bridge of your nose. Tears he wouldn’t be able to touch.

THURSDAY — 2:00PM: 1 day until the wedding

Saint Patrick’s church was quaint, and the interior was minimalistic compared to other Catholic churches you’d visited before. There was something sort of liminal about the space, as if it were unfinished. You wondered what it would look like when it was full of people.

You were standing at the altar, fake bouquet in hand, pretending to be a blushing bride. The photographer was very much in charge of this ordeal, and he was as outspoken as he was confident.

“Okay, perfect. See? She’s perfect. Can you be perfect, too, Mr….?”

“It’s Lachlan. Lachlan Black,” he reminded him for the third time.

“Ugh, okay. Lachlan. If only you were a little more memorable, but my brain just — whoosh!” The photographer, Gary, made a little noise and a motion with his hand like a bird flying through a window.

“And you’re just too damn tall, you know that?” Gary sighed.

He looked around the room, appraising all of the bridal party like a dealer at an auction, looking for the solution amongst the chaff. Then, he waved Hamish up from the front pew, getting him to stand. Gary looked him up and down, and motioned for him to sit again. With a snap of his fingers, he said,

“Hey! You. Mohawk. What’s your name again? You know what — that’s enough names actually. Mohawk will be groom instead. Nice and tall, but not too tall. Yes, yes… okay, thank you, Lachlan… buh-bye.”

You were face to face with Johnny at the altar.

You felt the panic make your blood rush into your cheeks. It was hard to catch your breath.

Of all the times you’d imagine being at the altar with Johnny, this was certainly not it.

You stared at your fake, paper bouquet and prayed in your mind, loudly, for a sudden plague. Toads, rivers of blood — whatever you’ve got, Heaven! Throw it down here, please. You begged for a miracle or a smiting. Either would do.

The Lord did not oblige you.

“Okay… better! Yes, this is much better. Cute. Can you scooch in a bit, mohawk? She doesn’t bite, I don’t think.” Gary winked.

Mohawk scooched in. You dared to look up into his eyes, and when you did, you knew you made a mistake. You were trapped in him and he was trapped in you. You felt like you were frozen in place, unable to breathe or speak or scream, no matter how badly you wanted to.

You had a whole conversation with him in the span of those few seconds. You asked him why he’d been covered in someone else at the bar. You begged him to give you some evidence that you hadn’t seen what you saw. You told him about all the nights you’d lay awake, about all the times you’d thrown his tag into the corner of your room, only to crawl on your hands and knees to retrieve it, clutching it to you and feeling sorry that you’d done so.

He was telling you something as well, but you couldn’t hear him. He was screaming it, you knew that much, but it wasn’t loud enough.

Gary interrupted you,

“Okay, hold hands around the bouquet, pretty please…”

He grasped your hands, and it was so familiar, you almost melted into him. By some magical power, you held yourself together, but as the camera clicked and flashed, with every moment you lost a little more control.

“...annnnnnnd now the kiss? C’mon. We’re all adults here. This lighting is shit — forgive me, Father — and I can’t deal with the actual money shot being trash. Today, people!”

You hesitated. But, Johnny didn’t. He seemed to set himself, his mouth in a tight, resigned line, and then he held your face in his hands, just as gently as he always did. When he kissed you, he really kissed you. He didn’t fake it for the cameras, and he didn’t hide his passion from Pidge or any of the others. You couldn’t help but kiss him back, letting him guide you as he liked, his big jaw shaking a bit as he let go.

“Perfect! Okay, and now the happy couple is smiling at the crowd…”

Gary took a step back into the aisle, and Johnny held up your hand in the air in mock triumph, posing for a gleeful moment that didn’t exist. You looked right at Pidge, but she was laughing at something Hamish had said, fully oblivious to the war raging right in front of her face.

“Alright… well, I don’t know if I’d call that smiling, necessarily, but here we are. Okay. Mohawk, you’re done.”

The way Johnny dropped your hand made you feel like you were on fire, as if he could no longer stand to hold you, or like he had been burned. It was sharp, and you weren’t sure what you were expecting. Did you want him to linger? To profess his undying love in front of his sister and ruin her one special day? You didn’t. So you let his absence cut you like a blade, severing you like a limb from a tree.

THURSDAY — 7:00PM: 1 day until the wedding

The rehearsal dinner venue, the Auchentoshan Distillery, was gorgeous. Johnny had spared no expense on the stylings, and there was food everywhere you looked. The cakes were elegantly plated, the roast hung shining, its drippings making the shank glitter, and even the boiled potatoes made your mouth water.

Johnny had obviously arranged the table settings a few weeks ago, because you were sat right next to him and Price, across from Gaz and Ghost. Pidge was two seats down, and the rest of the girls were across from her and Hamish. Lachlan and the other groomsmen were on the opposite side. But, other than for the initial dinner, you hadn’t been made to sit by him much at all. He mingled around the room, talking to everyone except for you, making sure all of the cups were filled and all of the faces were smiling.

He was an impeccable host. His charisma was electric. And he looked upsettingly handsome. He wore a kilt tonight, one of his hunting tartans, with a sharp button down embellished with gleaming pearl buttons. His shoulders were bursting through the fabric, pulling it taut against his wide back. If you looked carefully enough, you could imagine where his tattoo peeked through.

Gaz cleared his throat, whispering low,

“Have you talked to him, then?”

Your eyes tore themselves away from Johnny to stare at Gaz. You checked over your shoulder to see if Pidge had heard him, and he glanced at her, too.

“No.”

Ghost spoke at full volume, not caring who heard him,

“Are you going to?”

Price dropped his fork so that it clattered on the plate, giving Ghost a chastising glare.

“She’ll talk to him when she’s ready to talk to him, and it’s none of our bloody business.”

You didn’t hear much else out of Gaz or Ghost, but as they chewed their food, you could tell that they didn’t believe Price for one damn second. It very much was their bloody business.

And maybe it was. Price had certainly made it his business on your walk last night, and it seemed like your relationship with Johnny was slowly becoming everyone’s business. You had tried your best to return to that same old invisibility you were used to, but it wasn’t enough now. You felt like you were on full display.

“Excuse me,” you got up and fled to the bathroom.

When you opened the door, you saw Bekah and Anjali inside, freshening up their makeup.

“Hey!” They said in high-pitched unison.

“Hey,” you replied, inching by them to get into the stall.

“Where’d you disappear to the other night, babe?” Anjali called out to you through the door.

“Just got too drunk. Took a cab,” you told her, hoping that would end the conversation.

“Fuck,” Bekah laughed, “That was me, too. Did Cherise tell you about that bloke at Max’s?”

“No,” you said, captivated like a prisoner.

“Arsehole thought he could put something in my drink. Soap saw him and beat him within an inch of his fuckin’ life! You should’ve seen the man. Needed a damn doctor, so he did,” Bekah confessed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you said, genuinely. Bekah was not your friend, but she didn’t deserve to be assaulted.

Anjali laughed,

“Soap had to carry her out! She was stumblin’ all over the road.”

“Wasnae my fault!” Bekah protested, “But, he was a gentleman. Drove me home. Him and Gaz.”

“Oh, that Gaz is fine, no?” Anjali interrupted.

“Aye. I thought Johnny might kiss me back, just this once, but he still didn’t. That lad is harder to wear down than the goddamn Pope, I swear. I’ve given up.”

“Didn’t you sleep together?” You asked, torturing yourself.

“God, no! He won’t have any of us. Pidge thinks he has, but I’ve never slept with him. Definitely would though,” Bekah gushed.

“Hasn’t Cherise?” Anjali asked.

“No! Cannae believe it. All this talk for being a big slut and he’s a choir boy,” you could hear Bekah’s voice get louder with her disbelief.

“Shame,” Anjali lamented.

“Aye, a shame,” Bekah agreed, “Was he a good kisser? He looked it. You were quite a pair up at the altar. Maybe he’d go for you, hen.”

You pulled open the stall door and joined them at the sink. Your hands were trembling.

“Babes,” Bekah noticed, “Are you alright? You havnae seemed well since the hen do. You’re working too hard for this wedding.”

“I’m alright. I think I just need some fresh air,” you smiled, pushing your way out of the door.

When you walked back into the main hall, everyone was standing. A waitress with a tray found you and handed you a glass of champagne. You moved to the side around the crowd to see what all the commotion was, and it was Johnny. He was standing next to Pidge with his glass raised high, clinking it delicately with the side of his fork.

“Alright, alright. Settle down,” he smiled at his sister, “I know Lachlan is the one supposed to be up here haverin’ about Hamish, but he was kind enough to give me his go because I needed to talk to my sister.”

His eyes found you and settled there, no longer scanning the crowd. You watched him take a breath before he continued,

“If you dinnae ken me, I am Johnny MacTavish, Sergeant of His Majesty’s Special Air Service —” he was interrupted by proud applause, “Uh, thank you. And I am the younger brother of our darling Brigette here. While I was away, Pidge has taken care of my life for me. She took care of our ma when she was ill, and she buried our da without me. She managed to keep the wee house from fallin’ into the river, and still she has time to volunteer at Saint Mary’s children’s ward on the odd weekend.”

More applause. He paused and went on,

“All that to say, my sister doesnae need anyone. But, love isnae about need. It’s about choosin’ to be with a person who makes you feel like you can be yourself, that you can confess to all the desires and the wants and the hopes and the fears that you have inside of you, and you know that they understand you. They see you for who you are, and they love you for it anyway.

Love isnae patient, and it certainly isnae bloody kind. It loves to boast! And it falls prey to envy. Love is in a rush, and it eats you alive from the inside out. Love isnae about needing. It’s want, pure and simple. To Hammie and Pidge, may you live a hundred years, and may you want each other endlessly in each of them. Slàinte mhath.”

“Slàinte mhath!”

You drank your champagne, numb and panicking.

Someone shoved a small microphone onto the strap of your dress, clicking it in place, and you stared down at it while everyone else stared at you, waiting.

You breathed into the mic, listening to your breath come through the speakers. You wanted to talk to him, to tell him you’d learned the truth. But, you were surrounded, literally, by all of his friends and family. There was no worse time for your truth-telling. So, you tried to lean on the speech you remember preparing, mashing it together with words that kept pouring from your heart.

“Hello,” you tried out a smile, “I’ve known Brigette for years, and she is the only real family I have. I’m not Scottish. I know the accent gives it away,” some polite laughter, “But, I’m wearing the MacTavish boar around my neck because Pidge welcomed me here with open arms and took me in as if I had been here the whole time. Like it was the most natural thing to do. She’s selfless in all the ways you should be, and she always promised that I would have a home with her. And I love her dearly for that.”

You spoke directly to Johnny, just as he did to you,

“I’ve been thinking about selflessness, and about making promises. I’ve been thinking about the type of man who does the right thing, even when it’s hard. I’ve been thinking about the type of man who breaks a promise when he needs to break one, and I’ve been thinking about the consequences of our actions. But, when you love someone, the consequence is just… more love. There’s really nothing else, is there? You could get a shovel and dig until you reach the bottom of the earth looking for them, but there are no real consequences when you’re in love. It trumps… everything.”

You paused for a long time. Johnny was captivated by your eyes, hanging on every word, and you’d been silent for too long. You said, directly to Pidge,

“So, I hope, when you’re wondering if you’ve done the right thing or not, and you’re digging around for the consequences of that, I hope you just keep pulling out more and more love. Just love all the way down. Forever. Cheers, to Hamish and Pidge.”

“Cheers!”

You finished your champagne and walked over to Pidge. Everyone was applauding and talking loudly again, laughing and sharing their own joys about the happy couple. You were overwhelmed, but you wanted to see her.

Pidge held out her arms and folded them around you, clutching you tightly to her chest, whispering I love yous and thank yous into your skin. You kissed her on the cheek, whispering to her,

“I’m gonna step outside for a moment, are you alright for now?”

“Yes! Go. Take Johnny with you. When he gets sappy, he starts to hover,” she swatted Johnny away as he leaned in to kiss her, fighting through her protests.

She gave in, melting into him and smiling as he planted a kiss to her cheek.

“I love you, Pidge,” he said to her, not letting her go.

“I love you, too, Johnny-boy. And I’m sorry for all the mean things I’ve said. You’ve changed. I dinnae ken what’s gotten into you, but all this…” She looked around at the reception hall, “All this has made me realize that you finally see me, you finally see what I’ve been going through, and I’ve been unfair. Thank you, brother.”

He kissed her forehead, trying to blink away tears as he did so, lingering with his lips on her skin before removing himself from her embrace.

“C’mon,” he nodded at you and took you by the hand, right in front of her, leading you out to the back courtyard.

The distillery was situated right next to its water source, north of the River Clyde, and the waters churned from a pump run by the whisky makers. The flow of the water was invigorating and challenging, but the calmness of the lake itself was still and quiet; a dichotomy. It was the same within you, a roiling, tumbling sea of glass, ready to shatter.

Johnny turned and looked at you like he knew what you would say. As he approached you, slowly, he held up his hands, trying to hide that they were shaking, offering peace, carrying no weapon, for once. You unfolded your arms, still clutching yourself around your waist, waiting for him to prove you wrong, for him to confirm the truth you’d overheard from Bekah.

“Are you willing to hear me now, thief?”

“I already heard,” you said, “From Bekah. And I saw your journal.”

He was speechless. All of the things he’d planned to say to you had dried up, and now he was left chewing on their remains. He put his hands on his hips and looked out at the water,

“I’m so goddamn in love with you, it hurts.”

He pinned you with his gaze, then. Watching you take in his confession. He continued,

“It hurts when I wake up, and it hurts when I go to bed. I dinnae ken how to stop it from hurtin’ like this. Feels like I’m burnin’ up, like I’m on fire inside of me. And when you left me, I…” he had trouble forming the words, “I wasnae… I couldnae ken how bad it would be. It was worse, somehow, and I was prayin’ to whatever god that would hear me for some sort of mercy. And I had none. Until I saw, or I thought I saw…”

He came closer to you, reaching around your neck and pulling out his tags just like Price had done. His eyes shone with unshed tears.

“You made me hope.”

He took your hand in his and held it tightly, as tightly as he dared, and looked you right in the face,

“I didnae sleep with Bekah, nor Cherise, nor Anjali.”

“I know.”

“I didnae want to, either.”

“I know.”

“I’m in love with you, mèirleach.”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

Johnny used his tags around your neck to pull you into him, kissing you harshly, not allowing you to let go. You kissed him back, pressing at him with your tongue, tasting the champagne in his mouth, feeling his shaven face bristle against your smooth cheek. He moaned into you, speaking to you in a low whisper,

“Please, mèirleach, forgive me.”

“Johnny, there’s nothing to forgive.”

He hugged you to him and you rested your head against his neck, finally able to relax into him after days of being on a knife’s edge.

But, you were distracted by the sound of a loud knocking against glass. You turned back toward the distillery and saw Ghost tapping on the huge floor to ceiling window and pointing to a microphone in his hand. You looked down and realized you never handed them back the mic from your speech. You were still wearing it, and the red light was on.

You showed it to Johnny, stunned by your own idiocy. He spun to see Ghost waving slightly, and the rest of the wedding party — hell, the whole distillery — standing behind him in shock

+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Chapter 10 (Ending)

#call of duty fanfic #cod mw2 #cod mwii #john soap mactavish #soap call of duty #johnny mactavish #call of duty #cod #soap x you #soap x reader #soap smut #soap mw2 #soap mctavish #soap cod #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mctavish x reader #cod soap #guile and guilt

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withacapitalp · 8 months

Text

Reasons

I wrote this for the STWG daily prompt today which was "Joyce" and uhhhhh I'm sorry haha thank you for @stevethehairington and @hairstevington for beta and encouragement and generally being the best of the best!

Read it on ao3 here

The thing Steve had always loved most about the Byers home was the clutter.

There wasn’t a single surface that was bare. The tv stand was filled to the bursting with scratched up VHS tapes, the bookshelves crammed with dimestore paperbacks. There were always dishes on the kitchen table, magnets holding up dozens of drawings on the fridge, even the hallway was littered with picture frames. It was a complete contrast to the house he had grown up in, with bare cream colored walls and perfectly immaculate rooms.

It was a mess, and none of the things in the Byers home were worth much, but every item in the home was treasured, important, valued. Everything in their home mattered.

Now there was nothing left in the house. Nothing but boxes and empty air.

Boxes.

And Steve.

And Joyce.

“Where’d Jonathan and the kids go?” Steve asked when the silence had finally grown to be too much, looking around the barren space that used to be the living room.

Joyce had always apologized for how uncomfortable the couch was. Every single time he had ended up on her doorstep late at night, after every midnight mug of hot cocoa, every midnight conversation where Steve finally finally let some of his anxieties slip out, she had led him over to that couch and wrapped him in a hand me down quilt that smelled old and worn and loved and apologized to him about how lumpy the couch was.

Steve had never known what she was talking about. He had never slept anywhere that felt more comfortable.

But the couch was gone now. Probably tucked away in the big box truck outside, or sold at the garage sale they had held last week. Or maybe Joyce had just thrown away like the trash it had always been, finally getting rid of the dead weight of a couch she didn’t really like all that much.

She probably wanted a new couch for their new house. Something better.

“They’re all at the Wheelers. Jonathan snuck out around three in the morning to go stay with Nancy tonight, and all of the kids slept over in the basement,” Joyce explained, a wry little smile falling on her lips as she fondly rolled her eyes at her children’s antics, “One last campaign before we hit the road.”

Steve hummed, acting like this was fresh news to him when he already knew. He was the one that had driven Dustin, Lucas, and Max there. Hell, he had stayed to watch part of the campaign, and to give El and Will one last hug when it was just him and them.

He wasn’t exactly sure why he was playing along, why he was continuing to pretend, but it was easier than just staring at the place where the couch used to live in complete silence. Better than Joyce knowing exactly how little she knew about Steve’s life these days.

“I’ve missed seeing you around,” She tried, creeping just a little bit closer to where he was standing, “We haven’t really talked much since…”

Joyce trailed off but they both knew what she was talking about.

Since the realtor's sign had appeared at the end of the Byers driveway.

Since Joyce had finally had to admit that she was taking Jonathan, Will, and El away.

Since their big fight.

“I’ve been busy,” Steve said shortly, turning away from the living room and towards the kitchen, hoping that would take the spike out of his heart.

No, now the pain was worse, because the kitchen table was gone too, whisked away like it had never existed in the first place. Like Joyce had never sat him down there and patched him up after Billy’s fight, both of their eyes drooping with exhaustion but her fingers still sure and steady. Like Steve had never leaned against it, trying to understand his homework while Joyce did her best to explain why the color of curtains in a story mattered. Like there had never been breakfasts, or dinners, or midnight cups of hot chocolate that were only ever for the two of them.

Like Steve had never had a place here at all.

“What do you need from me? You said you needed something,” Steve asked in a rush, turning away from the kitchen as nausea began to bubble over in his stomach. He wanted to run, to break free, to escape Joyce and the house and all of the feelings that came along with it. He just wanted to give her whatever last thing she wanted to take and get away before too much of him broke.

“I did. I mean is there something else you’re doing today?” Joyce asked, startled by Steve’s sudden shift, “I thought you might want to be here when-”

“Robin and I are going to an interview,” Steve said, interrupting her in a flash. He definitely did not want to be here when they left, and he did not want to be here to say goodbye. He had already done that. He had already said his piece to Jonathan and Will and El.

Steve had nothing left to give to Joyce.

So why was he here? What could she want from him?

“It’s a big interview for a job for both of us.” He continued, laying it on thick when they both knew how thin the excuse really was. He and Robin could have done this any day, at any time. Now that the mall was gone, they had their pick of the litter for shitty jobs in town.

But Steve had purposefully asked Robin to plan the interview for today. He had done it the second Jonathan had told him their moving date. And Robin, saint that she was, had done it without asking why.

He made his bed, just like Joyce had made hers, and now they both had to lie in it.

“That’s…that’s great,” Joyce said, crossing her arms over her chest, her fingers twitching like she wanted to go for a cigarette.

“Besides it doesn’t look like you need me,” Steve said, unable to help himself. He looked around, a bitter smile on his lips, “You’ve got it pretty well handled.”

“Steve, honey…”

“Don’t,” He said immediately, stepping back when she tried to come forward to console him. That wasn’t her job anymore, it had never been her job in the first place, and Steve wasn’t going to fall for it again.

He was stupid, but he learned. Eventually, he learned.

“You already know what I think, and I don’t want to argue.” He said woodenly, the words coming out short and full of static.

He didn’t want to argue again. Not like last time.

Steve and Joyce had at least waited until Jonathan and Nancy had ushered all of the kids out of the house before exploding, but once it was just the two of them, it had been a supernova. Steve could barely remember what they had said, but he knew it was bad. That he had claimed she never cared about him at all, and she had told him that he wasn’t her responsibility.

Steve knew she had called him an entitled brat at some point.

Steve knew that he had called her a selfish bitch too.

And he had no way of knowing if Joyce actually thought he was an entitled brat, but he didn’t want to hear it. Not again. It had been hard enough to forget the way it made him feel the first time.

“It’s not an argument.” Joyce said softly, her voice as fragile as glass as she slowly lowered her hand down from where it had been reaching out to bring him into a familiar, warm, hug, “I just need you to know that it’s over now. I don’t want you looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life, trying to find monsters that aren’t there.”

“Do you really believe that?” Steve asked, finally looking Joyce in the eye, “Really?”

“Yes,” She said immediately. Steve could see it in her eyes, in her voice, in the way she held herself.

She did believe it. Joyce really thought it was over. Or, at the very least, she had made herself believe that she believed it.

“Then stay,” Steve whispered, loathing himself for saying it. He had promised himself he would never again beg for someone not to leave, but now he had done it twice in just a month. Twice. Because the first time apparently hadn’t been humiliating enough.

But Steve’s hope had always been more powerful than his shame, and he couldn’t help but pray that she would listen this time. Joyce would see what leaving was doing to all of them and change her mind. It didn’t matter that the house had already been sold and the truck was already stuffed to the bursting with their belongings, it could all be undone.

Steve would carry it all back in himself, even. The couch, the kitchen table, the hand me down quilt, everything that had made this house the first place he had actually felt at home.

She could undo it all. She could put their lives back together, back to the way they had been before, and Steve wouldn’t have to think about it ever again. He wouldn’t have to agonize over how Will and El would adjust to high school without the rest of their friends, or worry about Jonathan being alone in his senior year. He wouldn’t have to think about his own empty house and the bare cream walls that hated him just for existing.

He wouldn’t have to wonder why he wasn’t enough to care about. Why everyone eventually always left him.

“If it’s gone, then there’s no reason to leave,” Steve muttered, his eyes burning as he turned them downward to the floor between them, feeling like he was eight instead of eighteen. A child instead of the adult they both knew him to be.

An adult. Soon to be the last adult left in Hawkins that knew about the Upside Down. The last adult the rest of them had to rely on.

“There’s a thousand reasons,” Joyce sighed, pulling out her most beloved weapon, “And I have to protect my kids,”

Her kids. Her kids. Not her boys anymore, now her kids, because of El.

But what about Steve’s kids? What about Max and Dustin and Lucas and Mike and Erica? How was he alone supposed to protect them when the monsters came?

What about Nancy? What about Robin? They were older, but they were still kids, weren’t they? They still needed someone to be the adult.

And a quiet, almost silent part of him, couldn’t help asking

What about me?

“From what? If it’s really over, then what are you protecting them from?” Steve asked, a question he had already pressed her to answer in their last argument.

Joyce didn’t have an answer, because they both knew the truth. This wasn’t about the kids. Not Jonathan. Not Will. Not El.

It was about Joyce. What she wanted, what she felt like she had to protect herself from.

And the worst part was Steve understood. He got why she had to leave, why she couldn’t bear to stay here any longer than she had to, but what he couldn’t understand, what he would never understand, was the need to hide behind a shadow.

“You don’t have to say the truth, but, please, don’t tell me a lie,” Steve said quietly, Joyce sucking in a sharp breath as he carefully threw her own words back in her face.

She had said it to him dozens of times over the last year, and dozens of times he had caved and told her the truth.

But Joyce was not Steve.

“Steve, it's too late to go back on this.” Joyce said firmly, as if her tone would be enough to spontaneously change Steve’s mind. He scoffed, shaking his head and turning away from her to stare out the front window. He welded his lips together, planning to keep his mouth shut and ice her out until Joyce finally got annoyed enough to cut him loose.

It wouldn’t take long.

It had only taken her six weeks to pack up their whole lives and completely tear apart Steve’s.

“I want you to come with us.”

“What?” Steve said, the shock of Joyce’s words enough to make him speak without meaning to.

“That’s why I wanted you to come here before everyone else,” Joyce said, trying to walk towards Steve again. This time he was too startled to stop her and she entered into his space, a soft smile on her face. The same smile she used to give him when she would push his hair away from his face at night, and tell him that he didn’t need to stay awake.

That she would be there, and nothing was going to get between her and her boys.

She had always said it, and they had always both known that she meant more than just Jonathan and Will.

“I wanted to ask you to come with us,” Joyce repeated, laying a soft hand on his arm.

“I don’t understand,” Steve said helplessly, his heart starting to race, the bare walls beginning to close in.

“The house we bought has a little condo next to it that’s free, and I’m sure that Doctor Owens would be able to get it put in your name the way he got mine,” Joyce explained, a plan laid out neatly, too neatly, “There’s lots of jobs out in Lenora, or you could even go to the community college there. Take some classes while you figure out what you want to do?”

This was not a spur of the moment offer. Joyce had to have thought about it before this morning. More than once.

“You want me to move to Lenora with you guys?” Steve heard himself ask, a spring blossom blooming in his chest without his permission. A little seed of hope that had no reason to exist at all.

Joyce nodded, her smile growing, and for a second Steve let himself think about it. Truly and honestly think about it.

He let himself imagine a world where he didn’t go to his interview with Robin this afternoon, and instead stayed here. Packed up the rest of the boxes, hopped in the van with Joyce, and went out to California. Where there was never any snow to shovel, no Mother and Father to disappoint, no dead end job to hate.

No monsters waiting to jump out of the shadows.

A life that was only about what he wanted, what Steve thought would be best for him. A life that came with a family that wanted him.

“It’s over and done and nothing is holding you here anymore,” Joyce pressed, looking around the empty house, “There’s no reason for you to stay.”

And the dream was gone.

Crushed into bits, shattered like a plate against a skull.

Steve had reasons, seven of them. Seven people. Seven people who had gone through hell three times for a town that didn’t care and didn’t notice. Seven people who

Seven people who deserved someone to protect them. Someone who would put them first.

Steve had never been enough of a reason for anyone to stay, never been enough to put first. Not enough for his parents, not enough for Nancy, and now not enough for Joyce.

But he would never let his kids think the same about themselves.

“No, there’s no reason for you to stay,” Steve spat out, hating how bitter he sounded, but hating even more that he had let himself fall for the same trap again. Somewhere along the way he had let those walls down, let another person in, and let her put herself where she didn’t belong.

That was the truth wasn’t it? They both knew Joyce didn’t fit where they had put her. She was never going to be his mother, and Steve had never fit into her life, but he had played pretend anyway. Ignored all the signs, ignored all the little whispers in his head that told him he was getting too close, trusting too much. He had let her brush his hair, and help him with his homework, and say the words her boys like she meant to include him.

And now Joyce was just reminding him exactly how much he meant in the grand scheme of things.

And, really, Steve only had himself to blame for the way his heart was starting to break into tiny impossible to put back together pieces. His mistake. His stupidity.

He just never fucking learned.

“At least there no reason to stay that actually ever mattered to you,” He added with a laugh that did not sound at all funny, walking out the door before he could hear another one of her lies.

#Joyce byers #Steve harrington #hurt no comfort #stranger things #st #st drabble #st3 #post s 3 #yeah this one hurts #Steve has so many issues #stwgdailyprompt

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leclercsredhelmet · 2 months

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Everything Has Changed ♡ Oscar Piastri

A/N: Hi I'm back (again) with a new blurb. This is an Oscar x Sargeant reader blurb with a childhood friends-to-lovers vibe! I hope you all enjoy it

“Cause all I know is we said “Hello” and your eyes look like coming home”

Excitement can be felt all around, everywhere you go you hear chatters of excitement and the advertisements are everywhere. There are still a few days for the main event to start, but everyone is thrilled that Formula One is back in The Magic City. Oscar had decided to fly down to Miami earlier and enjoy some downtime, his decision might’ve been partially influenced by the Sargeant siblings. The twins have persuaded the young driver to fly with them earlier and stay at their place.

Turning down an offer made by the twins always proved to be an impossible feat throughout the years, so Oscar has no choice but to accept it gladly. Being childhood friends with Logan also means having a friendship with his sister. Sometimes the “what if” floats around Oscar’s brain and he wonders about the different nature his relationship with Y/N could take. Sure the young driver is best friends with the girl and over time he has been developing feelings for the girl but never acted on them for two specific reasons. The first one is that she’s his best friend’s sister and the second is his fear of ruining a great and meaningful friendship.

Over time his feelings for the American girl have developed into more and he simply chalks it to being a fleeting childhood crush but as they grow Oscar begins to realize his assessment is entirely wrong. He still likes her and lately the “what if” keeps turning into a more permanent thought. Her voice breaks him out of his thoughts, “Earth to Osc,” she says a little loudly and he looks at her. “What is it Mione?” he asks, using the nickname only reserved for her. She smiles at the use of the nickname, he still refers to her as Hermoine Granger and she can’t deny that she loves it. “Where did your brain run off to, you were zoned out,” she says looking at him. “Just thinking,” he replies but she arches her brow and he knows she doesn’t buy that answer.

“About what exactly?” she counters, poking his side and he chuckles. “Nothing important,” he lies, “What do you need?” he asks her. “Do you want to get burgers?” she asks. There’s a familiar glint of happiness in her eyes and Oscar smiles. “Great, let me get Logan,” she says and Oscar laughs. “I didn’t say yes, Mione,” at this the girl laughs, “I don’t need you to say yes, I know you Osc, and that smile says it all,” she says. “Logan hurry up or we’re leaving you here!” she shouts. Oscar laughs and Logan’s reply comes through. “Don’t you dare leave me here!” he yells back and she quietly laughs. “Then hurry up, we don’t have all day Sarge!” she shouts, and Logan rushes into the room.

The girl beats her brother to the driver’s seat and he groans in frustration, Oscar laughs and climbs in the car. Most of the car ride is spent with the twins bickering over little things and putting Oscar in the position of picking sides in every argument.

“Now that she’s not here, what’s up with you?” Logan asks him. Oscar sighs, “Nothing,” he answers. “C’mon man, something’s bothering you and I think I know,” Logan says. “It’s Y/N,” he says and Logan looks at him intently before grinning. “You like her,” he says. “N-no I don’t she’s your sister and my best friend,” Oscar answers. “So, you like her,” Logan says matter-of-factly.

“Hold on, you’re not mad?” Oscar asks. “Man, why would I be mad? It’s you we’re talking about,” Logan answers. Oscar lets out a relieved breath, “How long have you known?” Oscar asks him. “Always, none of you have had the guts to admit it to each other but I’ve always known, and you gotta change that Osc,” Logan says. He looks up and quickly changes the topic. The smell of your perfume indicates your presence and Oscar looks over at you as you talk.

He has no idea what you’re saying because all he can focus on is the way some strands of hair have fallen out of your low bun. Everything about you is an indicator that you’re home, it’s as if your Europe persona has retreated to make space for the home persona. Your skin is tanned and the floral dress fits you perfectly and makes perfect contrast with your tan.

Logan catches him looking at you and nudges him under the table. He laughs at the joke and tries his best to focus on the conversation.

Reader’s Point of View

“All I know is a simple name and everything has changed”

Oscar has been a little out of it today and I can’t help but wonder why. Part of me hopes that the possibility of him thinking and feeling the same as me is there. Now that I’ve been to more races with Logan thanks to my last semester of uni ending I get to be around more and can spend more time with him and Oscar whenever the three of us are free.

We convinced Oscar to join us in flying down earlier to Miami to enjoy some downtime before the race week starts and the “what if” has been a more constant thought. I haven’t told Logan but I know he knows, maybe it’s the twin thing but I’m certain that Logan is aware of my feelings towards our best friend.

I bump into Logan on my way out of my room, “Lo I need to tell you something,” I say. Logan flashes a knowing smile, “It’s about Oscar,” he says. I nod, “Is it okay?” I ask and Logan hugs me. “Of course, you’ve always liked him, go and tell him because I’m sure he might have something to say,” he says. Smiling I hug my brother and he kisses my cheek, “Go on and say what you’ve been feeling for years,” he says and I laugh.

Oscar is in the backyard playing with Coco and I smile, “Hey Osc, I’m gonna take a walk around with Coco do you want to join us?” I ask him. Oscar scoops her up and walks over to me, “Yeah let’s do it,” he says. “Great,” I say smiling while clipping the leash on her collar.

Closing the front door I walk down the steps and he sets Coco down. “It’s been really lovely out today,” he says. “Yeah, it’s so sunny. I missed this,” I say. “Of course you did,” he says with a laugh.”What’s that supposed to mean Osc?” I ask teasing him. Oscar shoves me lightly and laughs, “We’ve spent almost every waking hour in the water thanks to you, you’ve put on a tan already and there’s a happiness around you that wasn’t here before,” he says. “The home kind,” he adds and I smile. “Never stop nailing things so perfectly,” I say and he laughs.

“Let me get my metaphorical hammer then,” he says and I let out a giggle. “Are you excited?” I ask him. “Yeah, the atmosphere for this race week is different than others and there’s a lot of fans here,” he says. “Would be better if you were added to the list of fans,” he says. I gasp, “You make it sound like I’m not,” I say and he flushes. “Well, we both know your loyalties are elsewhere,” he says and I laugh. “Finish that sentence because you’re purposely leaving things out, you jerk,” I say bumping his hip with mine.

Oscar laughs, “It’s so amusing to tease you about this,” he says. “Just because I don’t like the team you drive for it doesn’t mean I’m not rooting for you,” I say.

“I know that Mione, your team loyalties might be with Ferrari and Williams but I’m well aware you root for me always,” he says and I press a kiss to his cheek. There’s a faint blush on his cheeks and I pretend to not notice it.

The breeze makes the leaves of the palm trees sway and other people walk their dogs around the neighborhood. “I have to tell you something,” we both say at the same time. “You should go first,” Oscar says. “No, no it’s fine you can go,” I say. “Okay well uhm,” Oscar starts.

“What I’m about to say might change things for the best or the worst… but I have to say it so hear me out please,” Oscar says. Nerves fill the pit of my stomach and I nod. “Ever since I met you it’s been nothing but great and chaotic at times,” he says with a small laugh and I smile. “You’ve been here through the highs and lows. Sunlight just follows wherever you go and having you as a friend has been like having the sun,” he says and I’m fighting the urge to burst out crying.

“Mione, you know me like the palm of your hand, and ever since you walked into my life I’ve wanted to share everything with you; and we have.” “A thought always lingered and I never acted on it because I was afraid it would change things between us and maybe I was also scared of Logan’s reaction,” he says with a small smile and I chuckle.

This is finally it, this finally the day in which the Australian boy I fell for says the words I have been wanting to hear. “Y/N I have loved you ever since I knew what the concept of love was, I have loved you since the first time we fought and you gave me the silent treatment for two days,” he says and I laugh. “I have loved you since the first summer you and Logan spent with us when we were fifteen and I still do. You don’t have to say anything and if what you have to say is different from my expectation then-” Oscar is speaking but I cut him off.

“Osc, hear me out,” I say. His face drops, “Oh, it’s okay if you don’t-” he starts to say. “For heaven's sake Piastri, let me finish!” I say and he laughs. “I feel the same way, I’ve loved you from the moment you brought me and Logan the fairy bread on our first birthday spent in the UK,” I say and he smiles. “You do?” he asks me, “How could I not love you, Oscar?” I reply.

Laughing he grabs my waist and pulls me in for a sweet kiss, Coco’s leash is securely around my wrist, and one of my hand's thread through his hair. His lips are soft and inviting, kissing him feels like a million fireworks have erupted and sparks fly around us. Pulling apart I hug him, “This went way better than what I expected,” he says and I laugh.

“I would have never turned you down, Oscar you know that,” I say. “Are you my girlfriend and papaya fan now?” he asks with a grin. Playfully I roll my eyes, “If you want me to be the first thing, that’s a yes. As for the second, I’m your fan and not the team’s that won’t change I’m sorry,” I say with a laugh. “I could never have it any other way,” he says.

“I’m a firm believer of doing this properly which is why I have a question,” he says. “Y/N Y/MN Sargeant, will you be my girlfriend?” he asks smiling widely. Throwing my head back I laugh at his smile, “I’d love to be your girlfriend Oscar Jack Piastri,” I say. Oscar pulls me in for a sweet kiss and laces his hands with mine as we walk back home.

(all photo credits go to the respective owners)

#oscar piastri #f1 imagine #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x sargeant reader #formula 1

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orshii · 4 months

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Will I Ever See You Again? (series)

CHAPTER 6: Will I Ever See You Again? (FINALE)

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x reader

Word count: 3,2 k

Summary: You were left alone with your brother, Yunho, and his best friend Hongjoong, after your parents' death. Yunho had someone to grieve with, but you? You had no one as your brother and his best friend pushed you away, singing becoming your only savior. There was one rule that Yunho made inside his friend group: “Don’t touch my sister”. And for this reason, Hongjoong had always kept his distance. But one night, you find yourself in danger. And from then on, Hongjoong does not leave your side. He is suddenly overprotective of you, and your relationship shifts and becomes fraught with tension and unspoken feelings, with secrets lurking beneath the surface and a painful past haunting you. Will you find out the secrets your brother and best friend have been keeping away from you? Will you be able to finally free yourself from your cruel past?

Will you fall in love amidst the chaos around you?

A/N: Well, here we are the last chapter is done. I have too many words but still, I'm speechless lol. Thank you to those who read this series. It was so fun to write I hope you enjoyed it as well... See you at the end! -orshii

(Please, listen to RV's song and Oasis's Wonderwall as well hihi. These are important songs in this chapter.)

(SERIES MASTERLIST)

Taglist: @bvidzsoo @vixensss @deltamoon666 @scarfac3 @chatsgotmytongue

@xiang-zalea @cookiesandcreammy @e3ellie <3

I woke to darkness outside and an empty, cold bed beside me.

Was it a dream? Was all of this a dream? Did those bad things really happen? Or was it just a nightmare?

I felt weird as I sat up on my bed, my limbs were numb and my mind was empty like a black hole. I needed a cold shower to wake up and feel like a human again.

After I finished, I went downstairs, to the kitchen as my stomach was grumbling, I hadn't eaten in a day, no wonder I was as hungry as a wolf. The smell of food, hit my nose as it made my stomach grumble more. When I arrived at the kitchen, I found Hongjoong at the stove, his back to me, cooking something in a pan. I just stood in the doorframe, leaning against it and looking at him smiling. I could get used to this view.

He turned around and jumped a bit as he saw me. "Oh, you're awake,” he said, smiling sweetly at me.

"Yeah, what are you up to?” I asked, moving from the doorframe to hug him from behind as he turned back to the pan.

"I'm making some food for my pretty sugar." He said cutely, his voice sounding like a child.

"Mhmm, you are so nice. I could get used to this." I pecked his nape and sat at the table, which was already set.

"I bet you could." He chuckled, coming to the table and serving the meat he finished.

While we ate, we laughed a lot and talked about some random things. It felt so good, talking to him casually, as slowly we were ready to let go of the hurtful past and move forward. It was going to be a bumpy road, processing all the emotions that almost killed me. But as Hongjoong was by my side, I felt like nothing could stop me. Even though the past wasn’t yet closed, I could leave a piece of it behind.

When we finished eating, I thanked him for the food and looked at him seriously.

"We should talk," I said, feeling a bit nervous.

Hongjoong nodded, moving his lips into a thin line. His bruises made his face more beautiful. It was the bruises of pride; I was so proud of him.

"Can I take you somewhere?" He asked, looking at me sweetly.

I nodded. "Is it a date?" I asked suddenly, smiling at him teasingly.

"It could be." He smiled at me taking my hands, kissing my knuckles, and leading me to the front door as we stood up.

We sat into his Mustang, I watched his side profile while he was driving, his jawline sharp as a knife, the blonde side of his hair facing me, I adored this man so much. I didn’t know where he wanted to take me, but I trusted him enough to give him the red string that connected us by our hearts.

After a few minutes of driving, I couldn’t see anything as it was already dark outside, the landscape went by us like a blur. Then we arrived at the destination where Hongjoong wanted to take me.

It was the same cliff where we had once leaped into the crashing waves. I gazed at him questioningly. "You really did take me where we almost died." I wanted to sound serious but it came out a little teasing. I think we both knew, this place changed something in both of us. It was a special place.

"Yes, I did, now come." He left the car, bringing a blanket out from the backseat and a bottle of champagne.

He spread out a blanket on the ground, close to the edge, and we sat down on it. Some flashbacks jumped into my mind, as we stood there, holding each other's hands, and jumped into nothingness. I was staring into the dark the moon still shining above us, as it was its last day to shine fully. My thoughts started to bombard me, I felt nervous, the feelings I felt last night coming back to life. The awful things I said to him, the emotions I felt. It was a lot, so I needed to let it all out.

I felt Hongjoong's gaze on me.

I turned towards him, looking into his eyes, which told me so many things, that my heart started to race. " ‘I want to apologize, Joong. I said things I didn't mean. I was upset and overwhelmed..." I ran my fingers through my hair stressed. "…it was a lot, and I'm so fucking stupid, the things I said to you…I didn’t mean it, it wasn't your fault, Hongjoong. Please, don't ever think it was your fault." My voice cracked, as tears filled my eyes. "Please, forgive me," I whispered, looking down at my hands. I couldn't look into his eyes anymore, as tears rolled down my cheeks.

He slid closer to me, taking my cold hands into his warm hands. He reached his right hand to my cheek, caressing it like I could break anytime. "Sugar…my beautiful, girl. Please, look at me!" His voice got weaker and quieter. I looked into his eyes and it was sparkling like the stars above us. He leaned his forehead against mine. " I understand why you said those things. It was our fault for shutting you out. I'm so sorry, sugar, I should've been there for you." He cupped my face, caringly, forcing me to look into his eyes. Tears rolled down my face unstoppably, but Hongjoong immediately wiped them away. "I want to be by your side, from now on." He whispered it onto my lips like a promise. My heart fluttered.

I held his hands, that cupped my face. "Me too, Hongjoong, I want to be with you, I want to support you for the rest of my life," I whispered weakly, my heart thumping like crazy.

Hongjoong smiled, his forehead still against mine, I never wanted to separate from him. He slowly leaned closer to my lips, hovering over them like a phantom, and then he finally captured my lips into a chaste kiss, I suddenly felt heartless, because I gave all my heart into his hands, and as he kissed me passionately, like I was the only thing that mattered on earth, I felt as he gave his heart into my hands, trusting me in keeping it safe. I buried it deep into my soul and locked it with a key, a key that was his lips against mine. Our lips moved together as I slowly straddled his lap. He held my waist strongly like was scared I might disappear. After a while we needed to separate, otherwise I would've collapsed from the lack of air. I leaned my forehead against his. Looking into his eyes, that the moon lighted up, I could see the moon in his eyes. We both breathed heavily into each other's lips. "You have no idea, how I wanted you, how I wanted you to be mine." He whispered against my lips, closing his eyes.

I cupped his face. "I'm here, I'm yours." I kissed him again slowly, our lips moving together like it was destined for each other.

We separated again, hardly, but we did. "I need to go after them, in a few days." He whispered, holding me closer to him, his eyes full of worry, like he didn’t want to leave me here, alone.

"I know." I caressed his cheek.

"Will you wait for me?" His voice was now full of fear. Afraid of losing me.

"I will, I will wait forever, if that's the case," I said smiling at him sadly.

He closed his eyes, looking like he wanted to stay here forever. "I love you, sugar." He whispered those words, that grounded me, then sent me up from the ground and took me up to the cotton candy-like clouds until the words found their place, in my heart. I never felt this grateful for someone, it almost hurt. "I love you, Hongjoong." It almost hurt; how much I loved him.

We stayed there for a while, embracing each other, taking in the other fully, not wanting to let go. I felt free, I felt like I finally had a reason to stay.

It was a usual Friday night, we were at Mist, and the usual friend group of ours gathered before Yunho and Hongjoong went to catch those bastards and close this case for good. We were drinking and laughing, the atmosphere was so calming, I felt happy seeing my friends laugh and feel good. My eyes searched for someone, who I always searched whenever he wasn’t in my sight. I didn’t even see him today, he told me he had business with the man they caught and told me we were going to meet at the pub. But Hongjoong was nowhere to be seen.

The pub suddenly went quiet as the lights turned off, darkness enveloping the patrons, hinting that something significant was about to happen. A really bad feeling caught me off-guard. A picture popped up in my mind, I was walking on a beach, alone; it could’ve showed me the past or even the future, who knew these things…

All of a sudden, the lights turned on at the stage and a figure was standing there with a guitar in their hands. As a light illuminated his face, my heart raced at the sight of his familiar features.

Hongjoong was standing on the stage with a guitar in his hands, the microphone standing in front of him, and his hair…the black side of his hair disappeared and it was now only blonde. With the lights on his face, he looked like a fallen angel his shadows formulating his invisible wings. He was wearing all black clothes, black skinny jeans around his legs, a black tank top, and a black leather jacket on top with white stars on it. He looked like a real star, on the stage.

Then he stepped closer to the microphone and started to play the guitar. It was a beautiful melody, that spoke to my soul, and as he started to sing my eyes immediately watered.

♪ And by now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do,

I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now ♪

He looked deep into my eyes, searching for my soul, so he could heal it, lighting up the darkness inside. He sounded like an angel; I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and seeing.

♪ There are many things that

I would like to say to you

But I don’t know how ♪

He was leaning close to the microphone, singing passionately, the veins on his neck tightening.

♪ I said maybe

You’re gonna be the one that saves me ♪

His gaze was so intense like he addressed this song to me, like he wrote it, just for me.

♪ And after all

You’re my wonderwall ♪

Tears immediately flew down my face from all the emotions that he made me feel. He made me feel loved and like I belonged somewhere, to someone.

As soon as he finished the high note at the end I quickly stood up and struggled a bit to run between the tables to the stage where he was still standing. When he saw me, I looked up at him with a proud smile, he put down the guitar and crouched down with a sweet smile on his face.

“Did you like it?” He reached his hand to my face, to wipe my tears away.

“Of course I liked it. It was so wonderful, Hongjoong, thank you.” I whispered to him, and as the words barely came out, I felt so overwhelmed.

“I should thank you for inspiring me, for being my muse.” He jumped down from the stage and grabbed me by my waist.

I blushed at that, not being used to this Hongjoong, “Yeah, whatever.” I chuckled as he pulled me even closer to him, his lips hovering over mine.

“I love you, sugar.” He whispered those sweet words and didn’t even wait for me to say it back, his lips were already on mine. It tasted sweet and passionate, like the last puzzle of my life was finally in its place after it shattered into pieces. Hongjoong slowly rebuilt the pieces that were lost in my past, my past that I thought was going to hunt me until I was alive. But Hongjoong cured me and painted my black life full of colors, I couldn’t be thankful enough for him. He was in my life almost from the beginning and I was blind enough to not see him, that he was my guardian angel my whole life.

The day of the farewell came, Hongjoong and Yunho managed to pull out some information from the captured man. The location of the said gang is somewhere overseas, they just need to surprise them so it’ll end. They needed to close this case for good. I felt like my heart was anchored into the depth of the ocean, tying me down there, not letting me go with Hongjoong.

We were standing in the driveway of our house, and they were packing some things into Hongjoong's Mustang, I was just standing there still, my legs were chained there, I wanted to cry, but I needed to stay strong for them.

Once they finished packing, Yunho closed the rear door and dusted off his hands. Hongjoong leaned against the car, giving us space for our goodbyes

Yunho stood in front of me, embracing me into a tight hug, and kissing the top of my head. "Please, stay safe, if anything happens back here, please call us." He caressed my back.

I nodded, burying my face deeper into his chest. "Okay. I will. Please be careful, and take care of each other." I blinked a few times, as tears wanted to escape my eyes.

Yunho now faced me, cupping my face. "We will, bye, Y/N. I’m proud of you!" He kissed my cheek gently, and stepped away from me, quickly sitting in the car, giving us space with Hongjoong. I looked at him, tears blurring my eyes. How do I say goodbye?

He pushed himself away from the car, and walked towards me slowly, his eyes taking me into his memory for eternity.

"Will I ever see you again?" I asked him, with a sad tone, as he stood in front of me.

He stepped closer to me and leaned his forehead against mine. "I will come back to you, I promise." He whispered against my lips, the promise lingering in the warm air. "I'm doing all of this to protect you. For us."

My heart was aching, I hated this, I hated that I needed to say goodbye, but it was not much time, he will come back to me.

I nodded, tears rolling down my face as I closed my eyes, wanting to keep him here forever. He slowly leaned towards my cheek, kissing away sweetly the tears from my face. "I love you, dangerously Y/N. Please wait for me." He slowly pecked my lips, sealing the words he said.

"I will wait for you. I love you, Joong, and come back to me." I said looking up into his eyes, taking him in, craving him into my memories forever.

He smiled at me happily and closed the distance between our lips, collapsing it against mine like he wanted to keep it in him as a treasure, that he wanted to protect his whole life. Tears rolled down both of our faces while kissing, taking in the other's tears, tasting them, giving the power to the other to keep going, to have the strength to live without the other. He slowly separated from me, his forehead against mine. "I have to go." He whispered weekly. I just nodded; words couldn't leave my lips.

"Goodbye." He looked at me, for the last time and turned around to sit into the driving seat without looking back just to drive away with Yunho.

I was standing there, watching as they drove away, until they disappeared into the world.

"Goodbye," I whispered quietly as they were long gone. My heart felt empty, as I felt them being farther and farther away. But our future floated in front of my eyes giving me the strength to keep going, I was full of hope because they were going to come back.

≫ You left me here, alone

But we gave each other our hearts

So, we can stay with each other forever ≪

5 years later

Yunho and Hongjoong never returned.

Familiar darkness enveloped me as I stepped onto the much larger stage, the crowd gathered just for us. And it was because they wanted to see us.

I stepped in front of the microphone as the blinding light welcomed me, as it became my addiction, not wanting to step off the stage, because the only thing that helped me in my life was only this. I wanted to stay here forever in the dim light, as strange eyes watched me curious, waiting for me to sing so they could feel the same hurtful things I felt.

♪ An unfinished greeting

And the last empty compartment

It's like a midsummer night dream ♪

I started to sing slowly, as my bandmates were following me, Yeosang standing there next to me giving me the power I needed. Everything felt like a dream and I never wanted to wake up.

♪ Time with all one's heart

A word that is filled with emotion

You were my dream and a miracle ♪

The lyrics came out from my lips, as my heart ached singing this song, that I wrote, that helped me get up from the dark, giving me hope. I song that I wrote about him, he was my miracle that got me out of the dark. Just to get back there.

♪ Like the last scene

I don't want to stay ♪

Flashbacks appeared in my mind, of his face, which was blurry now from the years, but I still kept it deep in my heart, his face when I last saw him, when he last promised me, he’ll come back to me.

♪ I open those closed eyes endlessly clear if you remember

Will I ever see you again? ♪

Tears appeared in my eyes, I remembered when I asked those words to him, scared I might not see him again…

♪ Nothing lasts forever,

The words of the world

Let's get back on track

It's not the end of our story ♪

I was singing, while hurtful tears rolled down my face, as I closed my eyes, singing my heart out. Nothing lasts forever, just as the times I was happy. I was happy beside him, but now as he was gone? What was I?

♪ A small voice that haunts me,

Endless Melody - Call us back

Will I ever see you again? ♪

I let my voice out, which echoed in the big field we were in. Leaning forward with my michrophone so I could raise my voice higher as the song slowly reached the end. Making my heart flat, as I let my feelings out, into the world, hoping that Hongjoong hears it somewhere in the world. Hoping that it’s not the end of our story.

♪ Remember us now

You and I will never end.

Will I ever see you again? See you again. ♪

A/N: Soo...this happened. First of all my apologies. When I was writing the plot I already knew I wanted a tragic ending. But I couldn't be that merciless to kill both of them lol *hides*. So as I randomly listened to Red Velvet's song I immediately got inspired as to how this could end. It's kind of an open ending, you can take guesses of what will happen in the future, what happened to Hongjoong? Will he ever come back? Soo yeah, let me know your opinion I'm curious what you think hehe. Now I need to let go of this story :'(( Until the next one. *salutes and runs away* -orshii

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n-e-t-t · 2 months

Text

Hogwarts, 5th of February, 1977, 22:20.

Young! Remus Lupin x Fem! Gryffindor! Self-made character! Pre established plot! Smut! NSFW! Fluff! Friends to Lovers! Lovesick! One shot!

Summary: It’s a cold and bleak winter night at Hogwarts, as two friends strike up their usual idle conversations. But for some reason, this cold winters day becomes just as important as any holiday.

Warnings!: Swearing, mentions of food, scars(not self inflicted), angst, sex and nudity, unprotected sex (wrap it up), virginity, kissing, hurt/comfort, smoking, drug mention, teenage problems, mentions of violence

All of these warnings are included for authenticity, not to be romanticised or abused. ALL CHARACTERS INVOLVED ARE 18 OR OVER - NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS

A/N: 13.5k words. Oh no. I guess I babble? I hope I don’t talk that much in real life. This is my first ever fic, ever!! Please be patient, and caring. Any thoughts and suggestions on my writing would be appreciated. I don’t even know if anyone will read this, but you’ve got to try and put yourself out there!

“Oi-“

Juno stirred, groaning in protest, her brows furrowed in her state of confusion. The warmth of the large hand that squeezed her shoulder was gentle. Only then did she jolt awake, whipping her head upwards from its place on her books, ginger hair flying around from the sudden movement.

“What time is it?-“

She asked quickly, roughly, after her light slumber. Her Irish accent flowed off the tip of her tongue, golden orbs dancing around the empty library and its ornate decorations.

Hells, she really needed to get her priorities straight. Hungover and grumpy.

Remus chuckled, looking at her with a slight smirk as she started to wake. He leaned against the table, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s 20 over, and you look like shite.”

He said with a soft chuckle, amused by the sight of her messy hair and tired face.

“I’ve been sitting here for the last half an hour trying to wake you up.”

Remus continued, watching her head whipping around, looking around the empty library.

“You were out cold, sleeping like a little baby.”

Juno groaned again, rubbing her temples before running an idle hand through her messy hair, long and disheveled. Only then did she realise the darkness that had creeped upon the castle, the only light illuminating the room casting from the fire goblets that adorned the stone walls.

“Why didn’t you shake me harder, Moony?-“

She asked, allowing the corners of her lips to twitch upwards in a lopsided fashion, in that signature smile of hers. She finally looked up at him, Remus, her best friend, fellow Marauder, his warm hazel eyes and signature knitted sweater that smelled like chocolate and coffee.

Remus smiled back at her, a lopsided grin growing on his thin face. He loved the way she spoke his nickname, even if he pretended otherwise.

“Oh, I was going to, but it was too funny watching you being completely out of it.”

He said, crossing one ankle over the other as he leaned more against the table, raising his eyebrow and tilting his head to the side.

“And look at you, grumpy and hungover. I can smell the alcohol from here.”

He said, chuckling again, teasing her. It was obvious how comfortable he felt around her, as he let little insults and jokes slide from his tongue like normal conversation.

The mention of alcohol in any capacity made her stomach churn and bubble like the cauldrons in the potions classroom, bitter bile threatening to burn its way up her throat. Juno grimaced, scoffing with a flick of her hand as she leaned back in her chair, ancient and wooden.

“Padfoot knows how to party-“

She replied, grumbling and muttering the words.

“It’s a shame, we missed you there-“

She added, reaching up to brush off some stray crumbs off Remus’ sweater.

Remus rolled his eyes, and let a small scoff escape his lips.

“Oh, obviously,”

He said, referring to Sirius, and all the parties he hosted in the Gryffindor Common Room or the Astronomy tower.

“I was studying.”

He said in response. He felt her fingers brush against his sweater, he chuckled, raising his eyebrow.

“You trying to touch me, McLean?”

Something in the way Remus spoke those syllables made Juno’s chest tighten, though she always prided herself in masking her emotions, at least the ones she didn’t dare want anyone else to see. She hummed, rolling her amber orbs that glistened in the reflection of the fire sconces.

“Shut it, Lupin-”

She giggled, rubbing the tip of her freckled nose with the pads of her fingers.

“You and your books, and your smarty pants glasses and knowledge-”

She continued. Remus laughed, a wide grin plastered on his face.

”You’re just mad that I’m smarter than you.”

He said, a teasing tone to his voice, sticking the tip of his tongue out, like a child.

“You’re smarter than everyone-”

Juno retorted, allowing her honeyed irises to dance across the details of his face. Warm and gentle. Sweet and kind.

She let out another quiet chuckle, reaching forward to close over her leather bound books. It was a double edged sword, loving him. Loving him like a best friend, like a dog or something sweet, like apple tarts. Loving him like dreaming of how he would kiss.

But she couldn’t tell him. She’d never dare. To lose their bond, their friendship. What a waste-

Remus chuckled slightly, looking her over as she closed her books. He felt the same way about her. The way his heart beat a little faster when she smiled, or how his eyes always searched for hers in a room. The way he wanted to do anything to make sure she was comfortable, and happy. He loved her, probably a bit too much. But they were just friends. Even if he sometimes did think about what it would feel like, to kiss her.

”Only you would get mad because I’m smarter,”

He said.

“Maybe you should try reading one of these books sometime.”

He continued, a cheeky smirk on his lips.

”You might actually learn something.”

He loved pushing her buttons. But he also knew that he could, and she wouldn’t mind. They had gotten used to each other over the years, to the light insults, and sarcastic comments.

‘What more is there to learn when the only thing I’m interested in is you?’

The thought ran through Juno’s mind, like a summer storm battering against the confines of her skull. Or maybe it was the alcohol, who’s to tell?

“Maybe,”

Juno hummed, tapping her fingernails against the hardback book.

“Or maybe I should learn to refuse wine from Padfoot-”

Remus chuckled, running a hand through his already messy dark hair. That was already a first step in the right direction. Refusing the alcohol from the party animals. He thought it was a miracle she was even still awake.

“Maybe you should. You’re gonna end up face down unconscious in the middle of potions one of these days-”

He said with a laugh, raising his eyebrows and giving her another smirk.

He couldn’t stop his eyes from dancing over her face, taking her beauty in. He had already memorized all the details on her face. The small beauty mark she had on her left cheek, or the way her lips were naturally pouting in a cute way.

“How many cups did you even have last night?”

“More than enough, clearly-“

Juno grumbled. In some ways, it was amusing to think about their teenage antics, to wash away every responsibility that fell at her feet. To be defiant, to refuse a smile to anyone that asked. But it was futile, and everything moves with time.

“Kind of wish I was just burning my skin off by the fireplace, studying with you-”

She spoke the words quietly, softly, genuinely.

Remus chuckled, shaking his head. He remembered his younger years at Hogwarts, the many nights he spent with his friends, talking in the common room until late, drinking firewhiskey and sneaking off to do dumb little pranks. He found himself missing that sometimes, before all the responsibilities.

He looked at her, his eyebrows raising slightly.

“Then why don’t you study with me?”

Juno smiled, warmly, the dimples on her cheeks decorating her face like Christmas ornaments on a mantlepiece. She looked at him, unable to wrap her head around how someone with his condition could be so warm. So kind.

“I will-“

She replied.

“Solemnly swear-“

She added, watching him roll up his sleeves.

Remus chuckled softly, his eyes fixated on her smile, the way her dimples adorned her freckled face. He could feel the heat in his cheeks as she smiled at him, his heart beat picking up a pace.

“Is that your best attempt at a serious tone?”

He smirked, teasing her and her lighthearted ways. He could probably count the amount of times she had been serious on one hand. It was part of her charm, in a way. She never took life too seriously, and didn’t waste time on being sad or upset. She always had a small grin on her lips, a cheeky tone in her voice, and a playful eye-roll on the horizon.

She groaned once more, head pounding, most likely from dehydration.

She pushed herself out the wooden chair as its legs screeched against the floorboards, smoothing out the fabric of her skirt with her palms before tilting her head to look upon Remus’ full height.

“Can’t help how I talk, Moons-”

She quipped, heart clenching as she breathed in the scent of him.

Remus chuckled again, rolling his eyes. That was typical Juno, not being able to stay serious for more than two minutes at a time. Though he couldn’t really mind it. It was what made her who she was, the thing that had made him notice her in the first place.

He watched as she stood up, smoothing down the fabric of her skirt. His eyes involuntarily danced over her body, taking in every inch of her.

“I know. That’s what makes you Juno. Pretty sure I could tell if someone had replaced you, like a shapeshifter or something-”

His eyes locked with hers, his heart beating in his ear. It was getting harder to control himself, to not push her up against a wall, and do all the things he’d wanted to do for months. Months? Years? He’d lost track of time.

“You’re gonna have the worst headache in the morning. And no one to blame but yourself-”

He teased, his thin lips pulling into an amused smirk.

She never had anyone else to blame apart from herself with anything. She was always her own demise, self destructive and selfish.

Maybe she was too harsh on herself.

Then she spotted it, the bright red packet of cigarettes hanging loose in Remus’ bag, peeking out menacingly.

“Come outside with me-”

She spoke, for once, sincerely. Her honeyed irises darted from Remus’ handsome face, to the cigarettes and back again.

Remus’ eyebrows raised, as he grabbed the cigarettes from his bag, taking two from the pack, lighting them both with his wand.

“Of course.”

Juno gasped and waved her hands about in front of Remus’ face, before grasping him by the sweater and pulling him towards the door.

“Not in here! Christ Moony!-”

She exclaimed, voice dropping to a whisper as her brown leather shoes scrapped against the old wooden floors.

“You boys will keep me in detention forever!-”

She could smell it already, the musky smoke staining her uniform. Luckily the library was near the courtyard, once they climbed the stairs, of course, the chill of the night nipping her kneecaps and kissing her cheeks once they had finally emerged.

Remus chuckled sheepishly, rolling his eyes. As she pulled him towards the entrance of the courtyard, he had to fight off a grin. He felt her hand grip tighter in the fabric of his sweater, as she yanked him out into the cold night. He took a long drag, letting the smoke roll off his tongue over his thin lips.

“You’re a bit overdramatic-”

He commented, a cheeky smirk on his lips as he watched her struggle to not shiver in the cold of the February night. He took another drag of the cigarette, before moving closer to her, to try and warm her up.

“You’re gonna get yourself sick-”

“I’m always sick-“

She replied, giggling softly as they gathered themselves underneath the large weeping willow tree. She could see the stars peaking through the vines, the constellations clear as day as Remus’ warmth hummed against her skin through her blouse.

If this was the end of the world, or the collapse of time, Juno would be satisfied. Joyful at his side.

“Stars are pretty tonight-”

She commented.

Remus chuckled, shaking his head at her comment. It was true that she was always sick. The girl was a disaster when it came to taking care of herself. Snotty nose and cranky attitude. He knew he’d have to get on her about it eventually.

“Yeah,”

He said, his eyes still fixed on her lips.

“They really are.”

He felt the cool night air stinging against his face, blowing back his messy, dark locks of hair and nipping at his neck. Despite the cold, he felt strangely warmed. He wrapped his arm around her, to pull her close against his side. He felt her shiver slightly, and he rubbed his hand gently up and down her arm, the sleeves of his sweater covering her skin. He had the urge to just bury his face against her hair.

Juno smiled at the action, effortlessly affectionate and endearing. Something friends do. He was so sweet, damn it-

Her shoulder pressed into Remus’ chest as she crossed her ankles, shifting her weight between each foot.

“Have you and Prongs made up yet?-“

She asked, taking a sharp inhale from Remus’ cigarette that lingered between his fingers as she looked up at him from the corner of her eye.

Remus’ eyes darkened slightly, frowning at the mention of James. It felt like ages since they had last tried to talk to one another. He took a drag after her, letting the smoke roll out through his nose as he exhaled it, and looked at her.

“No. But it’s not like it matters anymore-“

He said, his tone sharp and cold.

“I don’t know if we will for a while-“

He added. He didn’t know if they would be able to fix whatever mess this was, but he certainly wasn’t happy about the whole thing. Losing one of his best friends wasn’t on his list of things to do this year.

Juno hated it. Absolutely raging at the turmoil within her group of close friends. It was ride or die, it was special, irreplaceable.

“Yes, you will-“

Juno spoke, Irish accent flowing through the crisp air, breath visible.

“You have to-”

It made her heart hurt, watching Remus try and lock eyes with James across the breakfast table, yearning for a white flag of surrender.

“Its us. All of us. The Marauders, Moony-”

Remus sighed. He knew she was right. The Mauraders were inseparable, they always had been. But this fight was severe, one of the biggest arguments they’d ever had. He didn’t know if he could just forget it all and go back to how things were before. The thought of it tugged at his heart painfully.

“I’ll try, as soon as he makes an effort. But I don’t know, Juno… this isn’t like our regular squabbles.”

He leaned his head down slightly, so his forehead was almost resting against hers. He couldn’t help but take in a deep inhale of her scent, the smell of parma violets and warm sugar so sweet around him.

Fuck personal space.

“I want to fix things… I don’t want to cause the entire group to fall apart-.”

The look in Remus’ warm gaze was jarring, like he was swallowing his pain until he couldn’t help but vomit it back up again.

“It’s not your fault-“

She replied, snubbing the cigarette out against the bark of the tree.

“James is sensitive right now. Him and Lily are trying to figure out their relationship, he’ll come around. I swear it-”

She explained, suddenly feeling like the weight of the topic had drowned out her hangover.

Remus chuckled bitterly, and pulled her even closer. He knew she was right, of course. His issues with James really weren’t his fault, he’d done nothing wrong.

But he couldn’t help but feel responsible. After all, none of his friends were exactly stable right now. Everyone had an issue of their own to deal with, and the one who usually put everything and everyone before himself, was himself falling apart.

“I just want everything to go back to normal… I miss my friends-“

He muttered, burying his head against the crook of her neck. He hated himself for feeling vulnerable and lost. That wasn’t the role he was supposed to be playing. But he wanted to let himself be weak. Just once. Just a few moments with her alone.

Her heart shattered, and regardless of her easy going nature, she was serious. Genuine. Unmasked.

“Moons-”

She whispered, trying not to slip into the void from a simple moment of intimacy between them.

She cradled the back of his head, fingers delving into the dark chestnut strands in an attempt to comfort him. The one that always had his shit together.

“I know you do. It’s- it’s going to be okay, I promise-“

He could feel her fingers gently twisting around the strands of his messy hair, and he couldn’t help the way he closed his eyes and slightly melted into her touch. He couldn’t fight the way his heart thumped hard against his rib cage, and the butterflies that were fluttering around in his stomach.

Juno, his best friend, his partner in crime, the one who always laughed at his dumb jokes, who never once failed to light up a room when she entered.

The girl he’d fallen head over heels in love with.

“How do you know?-“

He mumbled, his lips almost touching the silky soft skin of her neck. He pushed himself even closer against her, his need to be close to her overwhelming him. It was almost an addiction.

How did she know? How could she know? Remus was the smart one, the clever one. Juno wasn’t any of those things, in her mind at least.

She swallowed, the heat of Remus’ breath wafting over her neck.

“Because Prongs is stupid. But he’s loyal, like a dog-“

She replied, hushed and quiet.

“And Padfoot said that he didn’t know how to say sorry to you-“

He let out a deep sigh, his shoulders slumping at her words. That was just like them. They didn’t know how to communicate. Of course they didn’t know how to deal with things like this.

His fingers pressed against her skin, fingers tracing mindless shapes into her waist. As if he was afraid she’d disappear if he let go.

“How do you and Padfoot always know these things.. you two always know everything-“

“Sources. We have our sources, I guess.”

“Bloody gossip hounds, you two-“

Remus replied, grumbling. Juno sniggered, pulling away just enough to look up at him with those golden eyes. He was so pretty she thought she could cry, or at least slit the throats of all those other girls that wanted him, as selfish as that was. She didn’t even have the right to think that way.

“Anyways, enough with the depressing shite, huh?-“

This was Scotland, in February. Depressing was an understatement.

Remus let out a soft chuckle, his fingers still tracing his mindless patterns.

“I hate it when you get smart on me-“

He teased, though there was a hint of seriousness to it. It was like she could always read his thoughts and feelings, she just knew who he was. The things he didn’t like people to know about him.

He was quiet for a moment. He took in her features, the way her eyes gleamed in the dark, the way her lips looked rosy in the cold. He sighed out, a tiny smile twitching on his lips. He glanced up at the night sky, the stars and moon shining above them.

“You know the night sky pretty well, don’t you?-“

Juniper McLean. Astronomy extraordinaire. Record holder for how many times a telescope lens could be broken.

Remus’ syllables reminded her of something she had done last night at that party, whilst Sirius was too busy snogging blonde girls to pay any attention. She smiled toothily, before pulling away from Remus’ grasp.

“Can I show you something?-”

She asked, not even waiting for an answer before butting in again.

“Mary did it last night-”

She added, remembering the taste of red berry wine and firecracker whiskey on her tongue.

Remus quirked an eyebrow at her question, watching as she pulled away to stand in front of him. He studied her face as she spoke, noting the way her eyes gleamed and a small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips. She was up to something. He didn’t know what, but he wasn’t sure if he liked the look on her face.

“Mary did what last night?”

He asked, his voice filled with a hint of wariness.

Juno chuckled, amused by the curiosity in Remus’ hazel orbs that always lit up at the sound of something new.

“Just look-“

She chirped, before turning around to face in the other direction, her back to him. She was lucky it was the dead of night, or else there was absolutely no way in hell she would be this daring.

Juno swiftly pulled her blouse over her head, cursing at the chill of the air on her newly exposed skin. Her other hand came to pull her hair out of the way, revealing Mary’s handiwork. Ink from a quill, connecting the freckles on her back to one another, mapping out in constellations across her bare back.

Remus felt his eyes widen as she turned away from him, his heart thumped wildly against his chest as she slipped off her blouse, leaving her bare back completely exposed. His eyes instantly darted to the smooth skin of her back, tracing the constellations drawn on her skin. He hadn’t even realized he was moving his feet until he was standing right behind her, his eyes drinking in the sight in front of him.

"Merlin…”

His voice was low and hoarse, eyes tracing every little tiny mark on her skin. His fingers itched to reach out and touch the skin of her back. They ached to touch her, to feel the warmth of her body under his fingers. She was so close, and everything inside him screamed to just reach out, but instead he stood frozen in place, completely mesmerized by the girl in front of him.

He forced himself to breathe, his fingers clenching into a tight fist. He couldn’t allow himself to touch her. He knew he’d just want more.

Remus’ lack of words wasn’t unusual to her, knowing he was taking in the sight before him. It was enough to blossom her cheeks like a garden in spring, something she could easily blame on the winter air.

“Crazy, huh?-“

She spoke, giggling as her shoulders lightly bounced.

“She showed it to me in the mirror when she was done-“

She added, kicking her feet against the grass idly, holding the fabric of her blouse against her chest.

It took Remus a few moments to be able to speak coherently again. The sight of her bare back, the way the stars were drawn across her skin, the tiny little freckles that covered her.

"Yeah… yeah, it’s..”

He swallowed, his eyes fixed on her skin.

“Can I touch it?”

Juno’s honeyed gaze was locked upon a tree in the distance, watching the way it swayed back and forth. So simple, making oxygen for them both to breathe. Something that had a clear purpose in life.

She snapped herself out of her own chaotic mind, tongue darting out to wet her lips before nodding.

“Yeah,”

She murmured, thankful that he couldn’t see her face right now. Always a gentleman.

“You didn’t need to ask, Moons-”

His breath hitched at her words, as his heart throbbed painfully hard. He took a moment to compose himself, his throat dry as he slowly allowed his hand to reach out towards her. His fingers shook faintly as they hovered over her skin, as if he was almost scared to touch her. When his hand came into contact with her skin it was impossibly light, his fingers so gentle it was almost as if feathers were brushing against her back. Though his touch was soft as a caress, his hands trembled ever so slightly.

Juno’s breathing hitched in her throat, lungs constricting at his touch. Light and gentle like a leaf in the wind.

“That tickles-“

She spoke, giggling innocently. Never in a million years would she have let anyone else touch her like that, let alone have showed them like this.

But this was Remus. She could be herself with him, utterly and completely. She could remember it now, all those years ago when they took the piss out of people on the Hogwarts Express for the first time.

Remus was silent, his heart beating wildly in his chest as she giggled at his touch. The sound of her laughter made his hands shake and his mind scream like a mandrake.

The memory of them sitting on the train, laughing and making fun of people came to his mind, and his heart ached at the thought of how much things had changed, yet the two of them were still the same.

“…Can I ask you something?”

He breathed out, his voice hoarse and strained.

At that, Juno pulled her blouse back over her torso, adjusting it accordingly before turning back around to face him.

“Anything-“

She replied, flashing him her signature smile, lopsided and cheeky. She had to pretend she didn’t feel anything, that her stomach didn’t clench at his touch, or that her mind didn’t swim with what it could possibly feel like for Remus to touch her everywhere.

His gaze was fixed on her smile as she turned around to look at him, his eyes tracing her lips, and down her neck. He swallowed before speaking.

“Are you.. Are you dating anyone right now?”

He instantly regretted the question as soon as the words left his mouth. What if she was dating someone? Worse, what if she was in love with someone? He felt his heart clench at the thought, as he looked into her golden eyes, praying that she would say no.

Juno scrunched her brows, but her smile didn’t falter. She looked up at him inquisitively, head tilted to the side as she examined the features that had grown so familiar to her, the details that never left her mind. Remus’ glasses, black framed and old. She could picture him nose deep in a book right now, stuffing his mouth with chocolate to stave off his impending werewolf transformation.

“If I was, don’t you think you’d know about it?-“

She replied, Irish accent light and airy, breath visible in the cold night.

Remus felt himself take a deep breath and relax slightly at her words. The idea of her dating someone sent pangs of jealousy through his heart, though he pushed those thoughts out of his head rather quickly. He let the corners of his mouth tug up into a tiny smile at her words. Trust her to say something snarky as a reply.

“Fair point. I suppose I’d know if you had some idiot trailing after you.-“

He teased, his voice soft and low. Gods, he was that idiot, wasn’t he?

He mentally cursed himself for a moment, but was able to push the negative thoughts away. He just wanted to be able to look at her, to hear her voice, to touch her and talk to her.

“Are you.. seeing anyone then?“

He inquired, shoving his hands into his pockets, trying to seem as casual as possible, even though he was anything but casual on the inside. He was pretty sure he could physically feel his heart beating in his chest, thrumming against his ribcage.

Juno began wondering what the hell had been in his porridge when he ate it this morning, or if someone had cursed him as a prank.

She chuckled, shaking her head in response.

“Are you asking me if I’m having sex with anyone, Moons?-“

She asked, point blank. She was never one to beat around the bush, especially around her best friends.

But Merlin’s beard, why was he even asking?

Remus felt his face heat up at her question, a flush of pink spreading across his cheeks. He tried to keep his composure, he really tried, but her blunt question caught him completely off guard. He felt the words get stuck in his throat, stuttering like an idiot for a few seconds, before finally being able to reply.

”I- No-“

He said, a strangled squeak in his words. He was a mess, and he knew it.

“No! I didn’t mean-“

He paused, his hands clenching and unclenching in his pockets. His heart was racing a million miles a second, his ears pink with embarrassment. He knew he should just stop speaking and move on, but the need to get his point across forced more words out of his mouth.

“I wasn’t- I swear I wasn’t asking that! I wouldn’t even want to know, that’s none of my business-“

He was babbling now. His face was red, this was definitely the worst outcome possible. For someone so clever, he felt like an idiot.

She wanted to stop him, to grab him by the broad shoulders and stuff his mouth with a rag. But in all honesty, the thought only made her giggle more. The sound vibrated through her chest, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth.

“No, Moony, I’m not shagging anyone-“

She replied through her laughter, leaning back against the willow tree.

“Are you shagging anyone?-“

Gods, is she still drunk?

She asked the question like she had asked him if he wanted a cup of tea, simple and nonchalant.

Remus’ mouth opened and closed, his mind completely malfunctioning. She looked so casual as she leaned against the tree, her eyes sparkling with laughter. He could feel his face heat up with embarrassment, and he mentally cursed himself for not being able to speak.

He was supposed to be eloquent. He was supposed to be suave. He was supposed to be sophisticated. This was a complete disaster.

“No-“ He said, still as flustered as he was before.

He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts and find his words. The idea of himself in Sirius’ or James’ shoes, the endless charm pouring from his lips, being fucking cool. It made his stomach twist into a thousand knots. He didn’t feel like he was the same as them. They chose to embrace their Animagus abilities, he didn’t.

‘You’re so fucking selfish. They do it for you.’

He ran a hand through his hair, fingers tugging at the soft locks in agitation.

”I don’t.. that’s not something I..“

He couldn’t even finish that sentence, it was all just word vomit. He was stumbling over every word he spoke, and he felt like burying his face in his palms.

Juno felt her heart swell in her chest, the night breeze dancing through her long ginger hair as she looked at him sweetly. Like she always did.

He looked so pretty with flushed cheeks.

“Take a breath, Lupin-“

She replied, her voice close to a whisper.

“Where’s my friend gone? Is he in there? My witty, sarcastic Moony?-“

She asked, eyeing his ruffled chestnut hair.

He closed his eyes as she spoke, the sound of her voice a breath of fresh air over the smoke inside him. He took a slow breath, taking a moment to compose himself even just slightly. He felt her eyes on him, the way she looked at him, the way she called him Moony.

That last bit forced a tiny smile onto the edge of his mouth. He opened his eyes to look at her, letting his gaze fix upon her golden eyes and her glowing face.

“He’s.. in there somewhere.”

He murmured back.

His eyes fell onto her face, looking at her soft features, her smooth skin. His breath was a bit less labored, his heart still racing but at a less erratic tempo. She was so beautiful, and she stood here in front of him, close enough that he could reach out and touch her.

‘Red is my favourite colour now. Didn’t realise it before.’

“And what about you, McLean? Juno, Is she still there?-“

He asked quietly, his voice barely a whisper.

Juno stood silently for a moment, pondering the question herself. It really shouldn’t be that complicated, a simple yes would suffice. But she smiled, pushing her tongue against the backs of her teeth as she stared back at him.

Finally, she nodded, hair falling across her freckled cheeks as her fingers pulled and toyed with the cotton of her blouse.

“You bring her out, you know. From behind the curtain-“

She spoke, beginning to sound like one of Remus’ handwritten stories. Like she was covered in his ink.

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. It was only a tiny smile, a fleeting moment, but it was there all the same, and it was genuine.

“I do? What am I, the magician then?”

He chuckled, a light twinge in his voice. He wanted to laugh, really laugh at her theatrics.

Remus’ laughter was contagious, like a deadly disease she would never want to be cured from. Juno laughed too, mirroring the twitch of his lips.

“Yeah, something like that-“

She replied.

“You’d look good in the top hat-“

She raised her hand a little, pointing to the top of his head, at the little tufts of hair that pointed in different directions.

He felt the grin that was growing on his lips, his head tilting forward as she pointed at his messy hair. He let out another chuckle, a real one this time. It rumbled through his chest, a deep and somewhat hoarse sound, but a sincere one all the same. He ran a hand through his hair self-consciously, the strands sticking up in an even more messy fashion.

“I’d look good in one of those capes too, I think.-“

He joked, his voice rough and low.

His eyes flicked back up to her at his own words, the tone of his voice coming as a surprise even to himself. He hadn’t meant the words to sound like that, that low and husky, but it had slipped out before he could stop himself. He looked at her, her wild copper hair, her freckles, those golden eyes that seemed to see right through him.

He wondered if she could see the desire that burned inside his chest. The need to touch her, to pull her into his arms and hold her and keep her there.

She nodded once more, lightly nibbling her plump bottom lip between her teeth as she stifled the bubble of laughter that inflated in her chest like a balloon. Remus’ hair, now messier than before, spoke volumes in itself. He could look worse and Juno would still look at him the way she looked at him now.

“We could do a traveling show, you could saw me in half or something, we can laugh at getting booed because we’re shite-“

Juno replied, rubbing a knuckle over her eye and accidentally smudging her periwinkle blue eyeshadow, glittery and messy.

Remus felt a small laugh tear its way out of his throat at her idea, leaning back against the tree trunk beside her. He gave her a side-eyed glance, his eyes flicking over her face and around her eye, noticing the smudged blue tint.

“Perhaps not the sawing in half. A bit too gruesome for my taste. I quite like you in one piece.-“

He said, his voice quiet but filled with mirth.

His eyes fell onto her makeup mishap, and he tilted his head curiously. He hesitated for half a second, then he found himself moving towards her. He felt like he was acting on instinct, no logic behind why he was suddenly standing in front of her. His fingers found their way to her cheek, his calloused thumb gently rubbing over the smudged makeup on her skin. If anyone saw them, there was probably a million different conclusions jumping into their heads, but Remus couldn’t be bothered with any of it.

It was one of the most intimate things anyone had ever done to her, despite it all. The simplicity, the innocence of it. It forced her to look him in the eyes, to soak in the warmth of his thumb and melt into it.

“You’re too good to me, Moons-“

She whispered, dancing her honeyed orbs between each of his earthy pools.

“You couldn’t even saw me in half?-“

She spoke again, unable to stop herself from spilling.

Remus’ entire being seemed to be hyper-focused on the feeling of her skin against his fingers.

“Maybe if you asked nice-“

He murmured in reply, his voice rough and raspy but dripping with genuine affection.

“Nah. Not even for money.-“

He added. He hadn’t really meant to do any more than fix her makeup, but the thought of pulling back now made his heart ache. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, staring down into her eyes, his thumb gently rubbing over her skin.

“Perhaps you have some kind of voodoo over me, you’ve put a spell on me or something.-“

He joked, his words only half true.

“And change the way you think? Never-“

Juno quipped, far too in love with his mind to even consider the option.

That’s how she knew she couldn’t be that selfish, or desperate. There was nothing more terrifying than losing him. Than losing this.

The night only became colder, nipping her nose and slicing her lungs with every inhale.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?-“

His eyes flickered over her face, taking in every small twitch of eyebrow and corner of the mouth, every tiny detail that made her who she was.

He felt as she shivered. He let his hand drop slowly from her face, grabbing her hand instead, his fingers intertwining with hers and almost recoiling from the frostbite.

“You’re freezing.”

He started to walk slowly, hand in hers, the warmth of his grip probably the only thing keeping her from turning into a popsicle.

He had a clear destination in mind. The Astronomy tower. He would take her up there, and they could sit under the stars, next to the muggle space heater Juno had managed to knick from her parents and enchant to ensure no electricity was needed.

‘Smart girl.’

Perhaps it was a cliche, in fact it definitely was. He loved the stars, and he didn’t fear the moon when she was around.

Juno’s leather shoes clipped against the marble floors leading to the Astronomy tower, her fingers clenching and unclenching in Remus’ large hand.

“Gods, so predictable, Moony-“

She teased, ducking her head down to slip herself through the small doorway. It was empty, dead as summer. The telescopes unused and rusted during the winter season.

Remus let go of her hand, and instead took a seat on the cold floor, his back leaned against the wall as he looked out over the breathtaking view. The night was clear, the sky full of endless stars. It was mesmerizing.

He patted the floor beside him, looking over at her, the smile still on his face, an encouraging look in his eyes. He wanted her closer, wanted to have her next to him, as close as space would allow.

“Turn that thing on, would you?-“

He said softly, his voice low in the dark of the tower.

Remus didn’t have to tell her twice.

Juno manoeuvred herself closer, swallowing her heightened heartbeat hoping to muffle the ache. She slid down the wall until her backside touched the floor, pulling her knees close to her chest before letting the leg closest to Remus flop down, resting against his thigh as she swished her wand, igniting the radiated heat.

“It’s nice,”

She started to speak, allowing the rough wool of his sweater to itch against her skin happily. What was nice? Gods, so many things about this were nice.

Remus felt her settle down beside him, her body heat seeping into him through their close proximity, and he had to force down a shiver before he spoke again, humming in agreement.

“It is. It’s very nice-“

He agreed, his voice almost a whisper.

He took his eyes away from the stars, slowly turning his head to look at her instead. She was so close. He could see the way her freckles were sprinkled over her face like glitter, and the way copper strands of hair fell across her forehead. Her eyelashes were like little brushstrokes, dark against her skin, creating shadows on her pale skin. Her eyes, those golden eyes…

He felt the ache in his chest return, more insistently than last time.

Remus’ gaze was felt before it was seen, burning into the skin of her right cheekbone, slowly flowing down the expanse of her neck and collarbone. He could burn her all he liked. He had been burning her for years.

“Thanks for waking me, in the library-“

Juno whispered, digits idly fiddling with the flesh of Remus’ knuckles, like it was a normal thing for friends to do. God, what was normal? Anything? Really?

Remus felt himself shiver, just a slight one, when she started fiddling with his hand, her fingertips gently tracing the skin. Why did he let her do this? Why was he letting her toy with his heart the way she did? Why was he enjoying it so much? Why did he want her closer until he couldn’t breathe anymore?

Why couldn’t he get her out of his damn nightmares?

“I- Uhm… It was getting late, I just- I-“

He mumbled, his voice catching in his throat.

He stumbled over his words, something he hadn’t done in years until this night. He was always cool and collected, he never stuttered, he always knew what to say. Not with fucking pretty girls, but- Why was he stumbling over himself now? Stuttering and mumbling like he was fifteen and had just discovered that the girl he liked existed. So stupid. He felt like he was fifteen. He felt like he was fifteen and utterly lovestruck and scared to death.

Juno knew him. She knew him like she knew how Butterbeer was far too sweet and how loud Sirius shrieked when he seen a spider. But surely, the heavens above would have told her what was chewing him up.

Either that or she was just plain blind. In denial. Maybe both.

“Moons?-“

She spoke, unbeknownst to her until she heard her own voice. She was looking at him now, drinking in the sight of him.

“Is the moon making you queasy?-“

Remus let himself look at her, taking in her freckled face and her wild hair and her lips, the way her lips moved around those words, around the nickname.

He chuckled lightly at her question, though it was quiet and forced, a weak attempt at normalcy.

“I feel like I’m going crazy...”

He mumbled without thinking. He cursed under his breath, his eyes widening a little as the confession slipped out. It wasn’t meant for her to hear, yet it had. He didn’t think before he spoke, his brain was just a big jumbled mess at this point. It was all her fault.

The air went still, like every gust of wind ceased to exist in the moonlight. Juno’s digits ceased their actions alongside it, her brows being the only thing to move, furrowing in response to Remus’ confession. But what exactly was he confessing to? Feeling mental? Everyone feels a little mental sometimes.

“Crazy?-“

Juno queried, leaving the moon behind to look at Remus. The money she would pay to sneak a peek into his mind was abysmal. Maybe she felt crazy, too.

“It’s not even half full-“

She spoke, pointing at the crescent moon.

He let out a soft chuckle, feeling how the air was thick between them, a heavy burden on his chest. He looked up at the moon, trying to look away from her, looking at the stars and the night sky instead.

His voice was quiet, barely a whisper as he spoke again. He had already slipped up, he wasn’t sure that he could handle it again.

“It’s not the moon-“

He mumbled, his eyes tracing endless constellations in the night sky. Visions of her back flooded his mind, taunting him.

He let out a slow, shaky breath, before finally turning to look at her again. He swallowed hard, his jaw clenched shut as he slowly spoke, his voice low and rough, and just above a whisper.

“I can’t even describe it-“

He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut and letting his head fall back against the stone wall behind him, his fingers clenching into fists in his lap, the knuckles white from exertion.

Why could he never say what he wanted? Why couldn’t he talk to her? He was a poet, for merlin’s sake, he should be able to find the words.

Remus was so full of life. So human. Not even his affliction could take that out of him. Or the ivory fangs, the large talons.

Juno wanted to write a book about him, or a song. She wanted to drink from his glass and leave a cherry red lipstick mark on the rim, and maybe then he’d kiss her when he was thirsty.

“If you don’t describe it, it’s lost to the void-“

She whispered, nudging his broad shoulder with her upper arm.

A shiver went down Remus’ spine at the touch, a breath being forced from his lungs as he felt the touch through his sweater. God, her touch was intoxicating.

He let out a dry, humorless chuckle at her words, tilting his head down a little so that his eyes met hers again. There was something in his gaze, something desperate, something panicked, something vulnerable.

“You’ll hate me for it-“

He mumbled, the words falling from his lips before he had a chance to stop himself. His voice was rough as he spoke, his eyes flickering over her face, watching her reaction, searching for a trace of something in the golden depths of her. Anything, a sign, anything that he could cling to that could tell him what she was thinking, feeling, how she would react when he told her.

The longer Juno stared back, the less she thought she knew him. He was carefree, light and focused, a stark difference to what she was looking at now. Nothing ever bothered him. Nothing was ever too serious, too hard. He stitched his own wounds with a steady hand every full moon, biting on a cloth so he wouldn’t wake the other boys.

She returned to the surface of her mind, shaking her head as she kicked off her shoes, letting them clatter to the side.

“Well, you know that’s not true, Lupin-“

He couldn’t focus on her words, every sound being swallowed by the roar of his own heart in his ears. He could only look at her. Look at the way she tilted her head, the way her hair moved with the slight action, the way her eyes bore into his with so much conviction.

His eyes followed her as she kicked off her shoes, taking in the way her skirt rode up a little in the process, and the glimpse of skin that was revealed.

“You don’t know that-“

He mumbled, his voice cracking.

“I know that, so uncomfortably well-“

Juno almost cut him off on his last syllables, injecting her words into the atmosphere.

“Something is eating you and I want to hear about it,”

She encouraged, stomach clenching at the puppy dog expression Remus seemed to sport on his face like it would cost too much to use it again. Getting his moneys worth.

Remus swallowed hard, looking down at his hands in his lap, watching how they trembled involuntarily, a nervous tick of his. He couldn’t see her eyes on him, feel the way she was watching him so intently, looking right through him, right into the darkest parts of him.

He knew he should stop while he could. Stop now and there was a chance that they could still be something that resembled friends. He needed to stop.

‘Stop. Now.’

He drew in a shaky breath, his shoulders hunch and tense as he looked up at her again, his eyes meeting hers, almost immediately regretting the move, like a shitty game of chess. She looked so open, so vulnerable, in a way that he’d never really seen her before.

Maybe he could try. Maybe he could be completely honest with her, and just tell her how he felt, confess everything, tell her what she did to him, how she made him feel. His heart was thudding so fast now it felt like a small bird trying to break free from a prison made of ribs. His hands were sweating. He forced in another shaky breath.

It hit him in that moment. That sudden realization. The cold, hard truth. It felt like a bucket of ice cold water, like he had been doused by it completely.

He was in love with her. All the way, 100%, helplessly in love with her.

At this point, Juno was on edge. Remus had pulled her all the way to the edge, far enough to see the waves below the cliff side, at least.

‘Gods, give me your pain, I’ll take it. Nothing hurts that much, right?’

She thought, running her tongue against her molars.

She didn’t say anything, this wasn’t about her. She didn’t need to make it about her. She lifted her pointer finger, circling the space on her chest where her heart lay underneath, watching Remus’ pupils on their travels. A silent voice, something that said ‘Say it, I dare you.’

Remus’ watched the movement, slow and graceful like the wave of a wand, yet powerful in its simplicity, in its silent message. He felt a shiver go down his spine, his eyes fixated on her hand, moving in slow circles on her chest.

‘I’ll carry it for you.’

The mere thought of speaking made him want to break down, run away and never look back. Fall sleep in the Shrieking Shack. Yet her eyes, her eyes were pulling him in, looking at him with so much earnest, telling him that he could. That she wanted him to.

And who was he to deny her what she asked for?

“I’m so fucking in love with you-“

Silence, ominous. Comical.

Suddenly, Juno’s head felt like a microwave oven. She wasn’t sure if her heart was even working. Maybe she had passed out from dehydration, or Sirius’ iconic parties have slowly turned her eardrums to mush.

She knew she was alive and breathing when she swallowed the saliva that had pooled in her mouth, amber irises focusing on Remus’ face.

“You’re so fucking what?-“

She asked, almost breathlessly, attempting to avoid her own expression in Remus’ glasses, focusing on the scar indented into his jaw instead.

Remus couldn’t help the breathless, almost humorless chuckle that escaped past his lips at her question, or the nervous smirk that spread across his face.

He had done it. He’d said it out loud. He should throw himself a party.

“I said, I’m so fucking in love with you-“

He repeated it again, each word spoken with a newfound confidence.

Now that the words had finally left his lips, he found that he didn’t want to stop saying them. He wanted to repeat the words, over and over, again and again, until they had burned a permanent mark on her heart, on her mind, on her soul, so that she would never forget, never doubt it.

If Amortentia was a feeling, this was it. Like the weeds had been plucked from Juno’s guts.

“Like, as friends?-“

She spoke, wide eyed and innocent.

She wasn’t bloody stupid, of course it wasn’t as friends. Well, it was, at some point. But not now. She had never felt more alive, like she was enough for somebody. For him.

Remus held her gaze, a flicker of amusement in his eyes at her question, the barest hint of a smirk on his thin lips. He wasn’t buying her innocent act. He let out a low, breathless chuckle, letting his head fall back against the wall, a soft thud sounding in the silence, as if to say ’really?’

“Like friends? You wanna play that game?”

He asked, a hint of a challenge in his voice. It was fun, trying to read each other.

“I’m so fucking kidding-“

Juno rushed the words out, orbs becoming half lidded as she quickly tilted her head the right way, capturing his lips between her own before she had a chance to hesitate, to question herself.

Suddenly, it was a rainy Sunday that kissed her lips, the taste of him like coffee after a large meal. The feeling went straight to her brain, dopamine in a nostalgic sense suffocating their friendship.

Screw it. They could call it something else now.

Remus’ eyes fluttered shut immediately at the touch, his breath hitching in his chest, his heart stuttering for a beat. Her lips were as soft as they looked, and he felt as if he were drowning in the feeling, as if he was sinking deeper and deeper into it, and he would willingly let it happen. He was quick to respond, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer, one hand burying itself in her hair.

It was a messy kiss, not really well thought out, but it was perfect, she was perfect.

She should have been gentler, graceful like a lady. How could she be soft when her emotions were so loud? Juno pulled away, just enough to breathe in Remus’ velvet breath, saliva mixed like a dangerous cocktail. She rested her freckled nose against Remus’ cheekbone, face flushed and heated.

“Did that feel right? For you?-“

She asked, an Irish whisper ghosting over Remus’ skin.

Remus let out a low, soft noise, a sound somewhere between a moan and a scoff when she pulled away.

“God, yes-“

He muttered, his voice coming out as a hoarse whisper. He tilted his head to the side, his nose brushing against her jaw. He was practically clinging to her now, like she was an anchor, and he was a wrecked ship bobbing around in the open sea.

Juno wondered if he had ever been kissed like that, or even kissed at all. Remus was never one to brag like the other Marauders, like James and his plum coloured love bites or Lily’s sheepish grin.

She ceased her thinking, Remus’ proximity like white noise radiating through her body.

“I love you, too-“

She whispered, talking into his messy, mahogany hair, fingers fisting his charity shop sweater.

“Not like a friend-“

She added, for the mere purpose of clarification.

Remus’ hold on her tightened, his grip firm and secure. He was holding on with everything he had, as if he was scared she’d disappear if he loosened it. The feeling of her breath against his hair, the sound of her voice, the words that had escaped her lips in that quiet, soft tone. It was everything he had ever wanted to hear, and more.

He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the skin of her neck, his eyes fluttering shut again as the words left his lips in a low whisper.

“I’m all yours."

Juno moaned, shamelessly.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time-“

She muttered, the cold air haunting the moistened skin of her throat from Remus’ kiss as she dipped her head to meet him once more.

He tasted like a firework, like cinnamon and coffee creamer.

The way her tongue slipped into his mouth would put a Slytherin to shame, her wet serpent scraping the inside of his cheek. Maybe it was too dirty, or filthy, the way she slipped her milky thighs on either side of Remus’ lap, resting against him completely as her ginger hair tickled his face. Let the gods strike her down if it was.

Remus groaned at the sound of her moan, low and guttural, desperate and needy. He wanted to fuck her right then and there, the sound alone sending a wave of burning desire through him. Her weight in his lap made it hard to think, to focus, all his senses screaming for her.

He gripped her thighs, holding her against him, his hands slipping under her skirt. His fingers dug into her soft skin, a possessive move that he knew he would have to apologize for later. But right now, all he could focus on was her, the feeling of her skin, the heat that was radiating from her body, the way her lips felt against his and her tongue in his mouth, hot and wet and messy.

If Juno’s arousal hadn’t peaked hours ago by simply looking at him, it damn sure had now. Her abdomen clenched, lust driven by pure infatuation. Raw emotion. She knew it from the way her pussy had slicked, moist and sensitive against her underwear and Remus’ tented groin.

She whined involuntarily, digits twitching against the hem of Remus’ sweater. She didn’t even recognise herself. It was like she was someone else, living her perfect reality from the outside.

“Bloody hell, Moons-“

She muttered, not giving a single damn about their surroundings.

Remus’ breathing was picking up in speed, his hands roaming over her skin, mapping it like charting the stars, committing the feeling of her to memory. No words left his lips, only ragged breaths and soft moans and a litany of sweet, sweet curses that fell like prayer from his lips.

“F-fuck, Juno-“

He growled, lips finding purchase against her neck. He knew they were outside, and that anyone could find them any second. The thought of getting caught like this, with her in his lap, on display for anyone to see, was only fueling his fire.

His hands gripped her harder, almost painfully tight, as he left a trail of dark, purple marks down her neck and collarbones, marking his territory like a wild animal would claim their mate.

Never in Juno’s entire existence did she believe love could feel this good. This rich. She felt like putty in his large hands, or the quill she had bought him for his birthday that lived between his fingers.

She shuddered, shoulders slumping as she returned the favour, reddened lips assaulting Remus’ throat, fingers tilting his jaw back to lick around his Adam’s apple.

“Tell me-“

She swallowed, slipping her hands up his sweater to rest upon the toned surface of his stomach.

“Tell me what you like-“

In other words, ‘I want to please you. Help me do that.’

Remus was losing himself, drowning in the sensations that came from her touch. His head fell back, baring his neck for her, the sound of her voice in his ear driving him near insane, like Azkaban was as close as the corner shop to his home back in Wales.

He couldn’t formulate words, not like this. And she hadn’t even really been doing anything yet, and still he was already drowning in her, like a man on the brink of death in the desert.

“I.. F-fuck, I like a lot of things-“

He said between breaths. His words cut off by a shaky moan, his eyes rolling back for a quick moment at the feeling of her hands against his stomach. It was too much, and yet not enough at all.

He gripped her hips, pulling her down against his lap, forcing her to press against the growing bulge in his trousers, his hips rolling up into hers in a desperate attempt to get friction. The action caused him to let out a low hiss, his head rolling back against the wall again.

Juno could make an endless list of all the things he liked, in a normal sense. Christmas shopping, French fancies, chocolate. Gods, anything sweet. Such a big fucking kid.

Her thoughts were struck by lightning as her arousal ground against Remus’, the contact shooting pleasure into her veins like a junkie. The moan she choked out was ragged, far from anything innocent.

“S-Shit, Remus-“

She stammered, suddenly a virgin all over again.

Remus couldn’t think straight. The thoughts in his mind had dissolved into a haze, overwhelmed by the ecstasy that her body was sending through him. She was going to be the death of him, he swore it.

The sound of her voice calling his name was enough to make his blood run hot, and he pulled her harder against him, grinding his hips up against hers again, the heat between them burning like a forest fire.

“F-fuck-“

He muttered, his teeth finding her shoulder again. He needed her. Now.

He didn’t know how much longer he could hold back, being with her like this. He was so desperate, like if he didn’t have all of her, he’d die. The wolf in him would starve.

“Tell me-“

His voice was low and raspy, filled with desire.

“Tell me I can have you-“

Remus’ words only served to completely ruin Juno’s favourite pair of underwear, turquoise and lacy. The fabric most certainly darkened and damp. He was ruining her, scarring her soul for eternity. Hells, all those shitty books were right-

She nodded almost violently, breathing harsh and unsteady.

“Have it a-all,”

She whined, wanton and parched, digits tugging at his sweater.

“Take it off-“

She whispered incoherently.

Remus’ pulled his sweater off in a quick, desperate motion, tossing it to the floor carelessly, his glasses getting lost in the battle, not even bothering to think about where they landed. They were for distance, anyways. Nothing distant about this. He just needed them off.

His hands were on her again immediately, tracing the skin of her back, finding the zipper of her skirt and pulling it down, before his hands moved to the buttons of her blouse. His fingers had no trouble working the buttons, and he all but tore the fabric off of her when they were all opened, his eyes going dark at the sight of her in just her bra and panties.

His hands traced the skin of her stomach, slowly moving up to her chest, finding the lace fabric of her bra and fumbling with it before managing to get it unclasped. He took a moment just to admire her, his gaze roaming over her body, taking her all in, every inch of her.

“You’re so beautiful. God, you’re so beautiful..”

He whispered, his eyes roaming up to her face, his hands tracing a path over her thighs.

Juno didn’t even care that she was almost naked, that Remus’ warm eyes baked her bare skin in what felt like sunlight beneath the stars. Not when her own eyes, dilated and blown, admired every single silver scar etched into his torso like traumatic artwork.

Her breathing slowed, the chill of the February air caressing her breasts. If she was beautiful, Remus was magnificent. Magic.

Goosebumps formed on her thighs underneath Remus’ large hands, as she finally uncorked her mouth.

“Have you ever done this before, Moons?-“

Remus swallowed, shaking his head slightly as his hands continued tracing her skin. She was so soft, so warm. And her eyes roamed over his body like he was something special, like she truly found him enchanting.

Her question made the heat he was feeling turn into a blush that spread from his neck to his face, his breathing coming out in shaky exhales. He tried to speak, but all that left his lips was a shaky, low,

“No.”

He’d been with girls before. A few snogs here and there, and one or two of them had come close to going further, hand in the trousers, but it hadn’t happened. It had never gone that far.

“I’ve never…”

He started, his voice rough, almost hoarse.

“I’ve never done this before..”

He finally managed to get the words out, the confession leaving his lips in a shaky breath.

Gods above, if they even existed-

Juno had to refrain from smiling, padlocking the corners of her lips and maintaining the look of awe that she currently possessed.

Of course he hadn’t. He’s too good. Such a god damn gentlemen, was she even worthy of it?

“You’re killing me-“

She whispered, shaking her head all the while. It was an unconscious action, the way her hand lightly grasped his own and placed it around her right breast.

Remus’ breath hitched again as he felt the weight of her breast in his palm, his thumb starting to move slowly on its own, running over her breast, against her rose bud nipple, before repeating the movement.

“You’re perfect.”

He muttered, his voice almost cracking at the sound. No words could describe how she made him feel, how her very existence left him speechless. His other hand moved to caress her other breast, gently squeezing them in his palms. He was trying to keep himself from going wild, from letting the last bit of self control he had left drop completely, all while trying to not act as inexperienced as he truly was.

He had to stop talking to her like she had been the first to put petals on flowers, like he was threatening to inflate her ego that had been smooshed into the dirt for so long.

Juno’s mind silenced, distracting herself with the gentle moans that tumbled past her open mouth, before muffling the sound against Remus’ throat, tasting his salty skin.

“I’ve had d-dreams about this-“

She whispered, cursing herself for her futile words. This wasn’t the time for talking, but his voice was her favourite song. She wanted him to keep fucking singing-

Remus had to hold back an outright moan at her words, her confession, the thought that she had been thinking about him like this making his hard cock twitch in his pants. He let his hand move once more, down her stomach, finding the lace of her turquoise panties and gently pushing down on them, a silent question.

“You have?”

He asked, trying to push the words out through the haze that was making him dizzy. His hand went to the waistband of her panties, his fingers slipping under the lace, playing with the hem, his whole body screaming at him to just take them off and be done with it, yet he waited, holding himself back from doing it until he was absolutely sure she wanted it to.

His other hand went up to her hair, tangling his fingers in her ginger locks, gently gripping them in frustration, trying to keep his desires at bay.

“Show me. Show me how you dreamed about me.”

He muttered, his voice low and hoarse.

The sound that left Juno’s throat was more than unholy, it was down right sinful. She felt his fingers tickling her pubic bone, mere inches away from her blazing, throbbing flesh. She wanted him to notice the mess she had made of herself, the mess that he had made of her.

She swallowed, inhaling sharply through her nose, allowing her fingers to explore the wilderness of Remus’ tense stomach, kissing his scars with her fingertips until her nails clinked against the metal buckle of his belt.

“C-Could never say no to you-“

Juno whimpered, unsure if she had ever felt this desperate for anything.

Remus bit down on her shoulder to keep himself from letting out a moan. His hips bucked at the sound of her voice as she spoke, a shaky breath leaving his mouth. He felt like he was losing his mind, like the last bit of self control he had left was about to disappear completely.

“Take it, take it off-”

He muttered between breaths. He couldn’t wait any longer. The sight of her sitting in his lap, half naked, the sound of her voice saying his name, it was too much.

He fumbled with the buckle of his belt impatiently, struggling to unclasp it as his hands shook, before finally managing to get the damn thing open and pushing his trousers down his legs, lifting his hips. The feeling of his own clothes against his leaking cock was unbearable, only making his desperation grow even more.

He let out a low hiss at the feeling of his aching hardness against the heat of her, his head immediately falling back to rest against the wall again, his eyes closing for a brief moment to try and regain some control.

Tell another joke.

Nothing could have prepared Juno for the sight, throbbing and raw and red-

Huge. Like a fucking candy apple.

Her breath hitched in her throat, seeing him like this. She could only imagine the look on her face, unfiltered and genuine.

“Bloody h-hell Remus-“

She spoke as her voice cracked, digits slipping into the soaked material of her underwear as she manoeuvred her thighs accordingly to slip out of them, the fabric stinging against her sensitive flesh.

Remus was already gone. She was all he could think about, all he could feel. He felt her body move against him, and he opened his eyes again to look at her, watching her as her slender fingers moved against her skin, tossing her panties to the side like they were the only thing in the world that was keeping her from him.

“God, Juno…”

He mumbled, his voice almost shaking as he looked at her, his hands gripping her hips tightly as his blown pupils zeroed in on her slick flesh. Fucking delicious.

His eyes were roaming over her body as she sat there in his lap, her bare skin against his, and he once more felt like cursing God for making her the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful. You have no idea how good you look right now.”

He muttered, not even caring about the words coming out of his mouth.

To be the light in Remus’ eyes was more than a pleasure in itself, dopamine flooding her belly and swishing around for the fun of it. Like a high, a better high than any sort of spliff. There they were, as bare as the day they were born, just like nature had intended.

“I-“

Juno stuttered, enveloping her fingers into Remus’ messy brown hair, watching the way his throat bobbed.

“I think I’ll die if you don’t touch me-“

She confessed, dangerous and needy.

“I got you, I got you-“

He mumbled, repeating the words as he reached down between them, wrapping his fingers around his own veiny length as he tried to steady himself enough to guide himself to her.

“I’m gonna touch you, don’t you worry-”

Juno wasn’t fucking worried.

The words were barely out of his mouth before his hands were on her again, caressing her thighs, holding her in place as he pushed his hips up a bit, trying to find the right angle.

“Please, please-“

He was shaking, so damn nervous and yet desperate for her, needing her so badly he was about to lose his mind completely. He tried to steady his breathing, his words shaking a bit as he spoke.

“Just- just tell me you’re ready.”

Juno couldn’t let him go on like this any longer, second guessing and pushing away his own needs like he did every single second of his life. Everyday, giving up his seat and letting his coffee go cold for someone else.

She just wanted him to look after himself. To value himself. God, they were fucking perfect for each other in that way.

Words were futile, Juno had decided, as she let herself sink down slowly onto him, stretching herself out for him until she had made it halfway.

Foreplay was overrated.

“F-Fuck!-“

She cursed, fingernails painting Remus’ broad shoulders with crescent moons.

He was not prepared, at all. His eyes slammed shut as soon as he felt her around him, sinking on him so damn slowly, the feeling as she wrapped around him like a vice driving him mad in the most wonderful way. A moan escaped his lips, low and shaky as her nails scratched across his skin.

He couldn’t keep his hips still, a curse leaving his lips as he tried and failed to just stay motionless. As if by magic, it felt like her body was made for him, molded just to fit him, and him alone.

He opened his eyes after a few seconds, forcing himself to just look at her, to see her, the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. Her head was thrown back, eyes shut, pink in the cheeks and a string of curses leaving her lips as she adjusted to the feeling of him inside her. The sight almost made him cum on the spot, a ragged breath leaving his mouth.

“Look at me, look at me-”

He mumbled, trying to bring back his voice long enough to speak. His hand came up again, grabbing her chin and pulling her face back down so their eyes could lock back together.

Soulmates are a bunch of hogwash, right? Just something people believe in to feel better, more at peace when they’ve felt empty for too long. Juno was being converted at the speed of light.

Her eyes met his, with a depth she wouldn’t have dared to swim to before. And by the gods, was he the most magical thing she had ever seen.

“W-Whatever you want-“

She choked out, accent muted in the bliss as the scent of their combined arousals filled her senses.

“Just say it, Moons-“

Her hips jerked, untethered to the bounds of anxiety and fear, as she slowly started riding him. Slick. Soaked.

Remus’ eyes darkened as he looked at her, watching her ride him in desperate, shaky movements. He was trying hard to keep his composure, to hold back and not lose control of himself completely, but goddamn it was hard, when all he wanted to do was give her everything he had to give.

“God, I need-“

He tried to say, but the rest slipped right out of his head as he felt her walls clenching around him, his head once more falling back against the wall with a thunk.

Words weren’t coming anymore, or at least ones that made sense, so instead Remus wrapped an arm around her, grabbing her hips and keeping her in place, holding her firmly in his lap, her body flush his chest. He couldn’t look away from her as he planted his feet flat onto the concrete floor, finding the leverage he needed to begin meeting her movements with his own, his hips thrusting up into her as he moved.

He was falling apart, losing control, the only thing he could think about being how good she felt around him, how tight she was. Every sound coming out of her mouth making him push himself to give her even more, to drive even deeper, to just try and give her everything he could, anything she wanted.

“You like that, sweetheart?”

He managed to ask, his voice sounding absolutely wrecked, almost not even recognising himself.

The pang of ecstasy and pleasure almost pierced Juno’s guts at the sound of him, the innocence of his words, groundbreaking and oh so Remus.

She cried out, choking into Remus’ cheekbone.

“Love it-“

She whined, not a care in the world at this point as the sound of skin meeting skin was her new favourite tempo. She could feel the sting of her kneecaps scraping against the harsh flooring, her juices sticking to her reddened skin.

“Don’t stop- please don’t stop-“

She sounded like she was about to burst into tears at the weight of it.

Remus didn’t think he could stop if he wanted to. Her words were driving him completely insane, the sound of her voice filling his ears, the need to hear more, to hear her fall apart just for him.

“God, don’t cry, please, I got you-”

He muttered, holding her even tighter, one of his hands coming up to cup her face, his thumb gently wiping away the tears running down her cheeks.

“I’m not gonna stop, I promise, I’m not gonna stop-”

Juno was so blissed out she didn’t even realise the tears had fell until Remus wiped them away, smudging her makeup like he always did. Even now. She didn’t even have time to feel pathetic, as every stuttered thrust from him hit that gooey spot inside of her, causing her stomach to clench and her thighs to tremble.

“Y-You’re making me cum-“

She spoke the words urgently, like she couldn’t get there quickly enough.

“Remus!-“

She cried out, strained and broken as she fell apart in his lap, in his large hands. Her safe place, clinging to him like a childhood teddy bear.

He could feel her clenching around him tightly, her body shaking and trembling, trying to keep itself together, and he had to bite back a cry of his own, feeling her fall apart in his arms, around his length, driving him to the very edge.

“F-Fuck yes-“

He choked out, his hold tightening as he tried to hold back, his hips still working, driving into her.

“God, yes-“

He breathed out, struggling to form the words.

“So- so beautiful-”

He could feel her body trembling against his own, the way her walls clenched around him, bringing him ever closer. His breathing was getting faster, more intense, and he knew that he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Gods, I’m gonna-”

He gritted out the words, his hands gripping her hips so hard they would probably leave imprints of his thumb prints. He couldn’t stop moving, his body moving on autopilot, chasing his release.

“Do it-“

Juno begged, point blank and purposeful. Careful wasn’t in her deck of cards tonight, she could think about that later.

She rode out the aftershocks, chest catching with labouring breaths as she grasped Remus’ by the jaw, anchoring him to look at her like she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Look at me and finish, Moons-“

Juno whispered, whining at the overstimulation of her fluttering flesh.

Remus’ entire body felt tense, like a string being pulled taunt, pulled to the breaking point but not yet snapping. The sight of her face, still flush from her release, her voice pleading, and the words that left her mouth sent him over the edge, his hips stuttering one final time as he buried himself as deep inside her as he could, coming apart and shooting ropes with a shaking moan that bordered on a soft cry.

His body immediately went slack afterward, the strength leaving his body completely as he leaned back against the wall, taking her with him. He slowly let go of her hips, not sure if his hands could be trusted not to hurt her, bringing them up to run through her hair instead as he tried and failed to slow his racing heart.

What was there to say? What was there to say when Juno could feel his release trickling out of her like a leaking tap, hot and wet against her reddened inner thighs? Juno didn’t know.

She slumped against him, freckled cheek indenting into Remus’ shoulder like it had many times before. His fingers in her hair, enough to remind her that he was still him, and nothing had changed.

“Hey, Moony.”

She whispered, amber eyes shut.

He hummed softly in response to her call, letting his hands run gently over her back, tracing the bumps of her spine and the shape of her shoulders as he focused on her.

“Hi, Juno.”

He mumbled into her hair, tilting his head slightly to bury his nose into the locks, inhaling her scent and letting it fill his head, like a drug that didn’t wear off, like a sweet fix that he didn’t want to let go of.

‘Thanks for waking me, in the library.’

#the mauraders #remus lupin #mauraders #maurauders era #harry potter #sirius black #james potter #remus x reader #hogwarts au #fiction #fanfic #70s #smut #fluff #angst

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