#fucking UH forgot to post this one . hides

[losercxre]

(He can't flirt)

[deadsetobsessions]

He could overlook a lot of things, but this was getting ridiculous. You’d think seasoned vigilantes would have better excuses prepared, but Danny had caught that flash of panic that crossed Tim’s face as Danny came face to face with Tim dragging an unconscious Steph to her designated room in the manor.

“Uh.”

“Danny! Uh, Stephanie brained herself- uh, sliding down the bannisters and- pleasedon’ttellBruce.”

Danny blinks, staring at Tim and then very pointedly, very slowly, turned his head back towards the direction he came from: the main hall… where the bannisters were. He wonders what vigilante hijinks they were trying to hide from B this time.

Tim coughs, trying to inch Stephanie away. “Uh. She was doing… cartwheels?”

Danny let his eyes slowly take in the bruises that were clearly not from “cartwheeling in the mansion” on the both of them. There’s a huge bandaged cut on Steph’s forearm and a giant bruise on the edge of Tim’s jaw. Tim’s face twitches nervously, not that anyone else would have noticed- except Danny has enhanced ghost senses and could feel the panic coming off of his adopted brother.

“You know…” Shit, what does he do? Not knowing would be so much easier if these idiots gave him good excuses! “I don’t think I want to know what you two have been up to… but should I be worried for your, uh, physical health?”

“Nope!”

“… Okay.” He says. Tim opens his mouth to make further excuses but Danny adds quickly, “But don’t tell me, because if Bruce asks, I want plausible deniability.”

Cartwheels, Danny’s ghostly ass. Luckily, this show of doubt reaffirms Tim’s belief that Danny believes them all of the other times. Danny grins inwardly, planning capitalizing on the guilt that flashed over Tim’s face.

“Deal.”

“Want help?” The halfa points at Steph, who’s still being dragged over the carpet by a noodle armed Tim. Danny knows Tim’s strong, he’s a vigilante, but it’s funny watching him pretend to struggle.

“Please. I’m so tired right now.” He looks it too. Danny’s brows furrow with genuine concern when he takes in Tim’s drowned raccoon look. He picks up Steph, firmly removing her from Tim’s suddenly weak grip. Being careful to avoid her injuries, Danny nods at the door to her room. Tim cracks it open and does a little showy gesture towards the inside.

“C’mon, we’ll tuck her in and then I’ll tuck you in.”

“What, you don’t have to do that.”

“If you don’t let me tuck you in and make sure you sleep, I’ll tell Alfred who really accidentally poured boiling hot coffee on his azaleas last week. And I’ll sic Dick on you and tell him you haven’t been sleeping enough.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Tim grumbles. “But fine. It’s really not my fault I’m this tired. A missing spleen is hard to handle, you know.”

“Yeah, missing an organ sucks,” Danny says, shit eating grin hidden long enough to catch the contemplative bloodhound look that passes over Tim’s face.

“Which- uh, which one of your organs is missing?”

“Liver.” Danny says, remembering the flashes of pain. He tilts his head away to hide the grin at Tim’s panicked face.

When he tucks Tim in, he pretends to believe Tim’s sleeping act and left his room while mumbling about the Wayne’s clumsiness and bruises and stocking up on bruise cream. He couldn’t even enjoy Tim’s floundering, this time, worried as he is.

——

“Brother.” Danny half turns his head, just to beam a sunny smile at Cass. He signs an exuberant hello. The halfa hangs up his coat as he addresses his adopted sister.

“Cass! What’s up?”

“Dinner.” She smiles back, signing that Alfred wanted them to the dinning room post haste. The main dining room, because rich people were fruit loops and Batman is totally included. Cassandra looks down and gasps.

What…?

Oh. Fuck. Danny glances down. He genuinely forgot about that.

“Huh.”

“Okay?” Suddenly, Cass is right next to him, hand reached out and hovering over the actual knife Danny forgot was sticking out of him. At least it’s where his liver should be, so he won’t have to pretend.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m good. Don’t have a liver.” Danny decides on the spot that he’s not gonna mess with Cass. She smiled the same as him. “Got mugged on the way back but I think they said I could keep the knife, right?”

“Danny.” She’s frowning at him. He feels like he just kicked tiny Cujo. But he doesn’t feel bad enough to blurt everything out.

“Here. You can have it if you want?” Danny casually pulls out the knife and holds the wound together with his bare hands. Cass looks more alarmed. She bodily picks up Danny and starts running.

“Woah!”

Cass throws him at Alfred, gently.

“Miss Cassandra! Why, I never-!” Alfred pauses in surprise.

“Uh. Wow, Cass. You’re really strong.” Danny pipes up, hand still over his gushing wound.

She ignores him, pointing at Danny and telling Alfred, “Hurt. Got mugged. Dumb.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Gothamites are ready to jump people at any moment. Besides, it’s daytime. It’s not like the vigilante furries are out to save my butt. I think I did really well coming back safe, you know?”

“Hurt. Forgot the knife. Was in him.”

“Master Danny!”

Danny pouts. He also knows there’s a discreet camera in the corners of the sitting room, so he’s definitely hoping he could phase into the cave when Barbara eventually tells the group that he called them “vigilante furries.”

Alfred clucks his tongue and set to work patching him up. Danny tries not to bask in the careful way Alfred tended to his wounds. It reminds him too much of Jazz, if Jazz was British and a man with greying hair.

But because they were watching him and he was watching them in return, Danny noticed the moment Alfred’s hands stalled and Cass’ gaze got intense. What now…?

Oh, fuck, his vivisection scar. Oops. Danny smiled, channeling Dani (his lovely clone sister) at her most innocent.

Cass smiled back, just as sunnily, fists tightening at her side in repressed fury.

——

“Cass? Why’d you call us?”

“Yeah, baby bat. I got a couple o’ smugglers to talk to.”

Cass paces.

“What is it, Cassandra?” Damian tuts impatiently.

“Danny. Has… scars. Autopsy. But was struggling. When cut.”

“What.”

“A vivisection, Master Jason.” Alfred’s voice was crisp and eerily cold. His hands are folded, rage only held back by his sheer will and a well practiced sense of propriety.

“We find. Who hurt him,” Cass snarls. “We. End.”

Jason’s eyes glint green, hands going to his guns. “Fine. By. Me.”

“It does tie in with the dead comment. I wonder what happened to him.” Tim clacks away at the bat computer, furiously looking into the matter already. Bruce has taken to prowling, stressed out at the prospect of one more of his children- not a vigilante at that- getting hurt the way Jason had. Worse, even. A vivisection. He was alive, dissected. Aware enough to struggle. Dick looked like he was torn about hunting down and lunging at whoever hurt Danny to rip their throats out with his bare teeth versus the urge to go back up to the manor and wrap Danny in bubble wrap.

In the corner, Danny was having a quiet breakdown because he came here to watch them react to vigilante furries, not offering to murder the people who vivisected him. What the fuck?? He ran his hands through his hair, invisible.

——

“Oh, by the way, we should consider more daytime shifts.”

“Why?” Spoiler asks Barbara.

“Danny got mugged. And called us the nightly furries.”

“The fuckin’ what-?” Jason chokes out, laughing. Bruce stops his pacing, body language becoming slightly offended.

Danny muffles a laugh only Alfred would have heard.

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 390: Cat n Mouse, p1

He looked like a baby deer, standing there in my bedroom, wide eyed and haha anything but innocent the little gremlin. 

“Have you been snooping?” I scolded, watching the power in my voice basically blowing my bra right off his face and make him take a step or two backwards, letting it fall to the floor. I was trying to sound funny, casual, playful but I’d felt my energy building building building all through my workout and tho it was sposed to relax me now haha I was like ready to nnngh blow up. And then seeing him with my bra on his face? Fucking adorable. It made me swell up even more. The poor little man needed my perfumes to keep himself from getting sick - woops! I forgot all about that, how he needs me -  and I guess there’d been enough of me in that white underwire I’d worn a couple days ago. So, he’d put it on his face to breathe, just so he could have a hint of my scent. S’okay. Now you get the real thing little boy. 

He took a step back, seeing me, his eyes huge and confused. 

“M-M-Melissa…oh my g-god…” he stammered, seeming to forget for the moment what I’d just caught him doing. Instead, he was worried about how I looked. “Y-y-you’re huge.”

I love when he stutters like that, trying to speak to me. “Oh, you noticed,” I smiled, stepping now into the bedroom…and watching him take another step back. He bumped into the shelf. A candle toppled over, and he panicked quickly trying to catch it, but it fell to the ground and knocked over one of the pictures of him I’d framed. Clumsy little monkey. I mean, I guess I can’t blame him. After my workouts I tend to bulge up, like a lot. My muscles swell up like crazy, making me look enormous. And as I came closer to him, I felt them all growing bigger still, vibrating, urging me to just reach out and grab him. 

And I did. 

I reached out my arms, to take him into a hug, but the stinker ducked and got underneath them. He quickly darted to the side, away from me.

“Jay-yyyyyy..?” I sang, turning towards him again, “What are you doinggg?” I sounded crazy like a crazy lady but haha who cares. 

“I, uhhh…” he sputtered, looking this way and that. Guhh it was so cute! Suddenly he darted to his right, but  I was quicker. I cut him off with a single step. He hesitated, backing away again. 

“I’m uh…”

You’re trying to get away from me you little scamp. “C’mere I just want to hold you,” I said, crouching down for to snatch the bra off of the ground that he’d had over his face. I took another step towards him but nnn hahaha he just kept running away. “What is up with uuuu hahahaha? Are u afraiiid of me? Afraid of what you did?”

“I-I ummmm-” he began. 

“You were snooping,” I repeated, finishing his answer for him, “You were looking through my stuff and snoopity-snoop-snooping.” At that I lunged towards him but urrrr he snuck under my arms again and scampered towards the door, running out into the hallway.

I turned, bra still in hand, and stepped after him. By the time I got out of the bedroom he was already scooting down the stairs. 

“Why are you running away from meeeee..?” I called after him as he hit the bottom floor and disappeared around the corner. I giggled. Of course I could just boom out, use my bossy voice, and make him turn right around. I could make him crawl back up the stairs to me til he got to my size 15s, but where's the fun in that hahaha? Well, that actually does sound fun too haha…but I have a better idea.

I  walked to the top of the stairs. “Hide and seek? Is that what you want to play, honey?” I spoke. I made certain he would hear me. My voice, I knew, could carry through the house. In fact it could shatter all the windows, if I wanted. “Cat and mouse?” I continued, as I took my first step down towards the bottom floor. I was still in my workout clothes, this tight white top and black leggings, but my muscles were so pumped up from even just the tiny little weights my mom had downstairs that they were nearly bursting out of my clothes. Maybe I’ll do that, when I catch you, make you watch me burst out of my clothing. 

“So, where is little mousy?” I asked, when I got to the bottom of the stairs, “ Big big kitty wants to playyyyy…” In all honesty I felt less like a kitty and more like a giant mama she-lion stalking for dinner, but I was willing to go with it. I glanced down at the table, this narrow thing that my mom kept in the atrium. My eyes narrowed.  I’d dropped a bunch of ‘Lean In’ and ‘Movement’ pamphlets here last week, and he’d obviously been looking through them. I could smell him on them. 

“I see you found my pamphlets,” I called out to the house, holding back a laugh, “Interesting reading, hm?” I knew I shouldn’t leave these laying around; they're supposed to be for girl-eyes only. Whatever. “And you were looking at that picture of me from the fitness competition? I was big for a twe- …nineteen yr old…” I said, “I’m so much bigger now.”

Come back here and I’ll show you.

---

Oh my god, oh my god! What the fuck is happening?? I thought to myself, having moments ago ducked behind the couch, my heart racing with the panic of a hunted animal. What do I think I’m doing?? Seeing her like she was, being caught in her bedroom after finding all the things I’d found - those pamphlets, her notes and ravings, my instinctual reaction was ‘get away from this giant crazy lunatic’.

Deep breath. I know I know I know…this was Melissa. My girlfriend. Of all the people I’d ever met she was one of the most sweet and tender. The perfect girlfriend. At times. 

But it was more than fair to say she could - at other times - be rather unbalanced, and this was clearly one of them. I could see it in her eyes, as soon as I saw her upstairs. She was manic. She was possessed by this need to get bigger, stronger. She claimed it was to protect me, but why did I  suddenly feel so endangered? Why? Was I just confused? She wouldn’t actually hurt me, right? No….no. But I…I needed time to think, to process. What did her having all that propaganda imply, what did all that stuff I found on the shelf mean for us? For me?

“Come out come out wherever you are…!” I heard her tease, giggling. Urk! She was close, walking just on the other side of the couch I was hiding behind. I had to crouch down, shrink down even smaller not to be seen, almost crawling under the couch. I could feel her passing by, and I watched as her long, long legs came into view walking away. Her big thighs bulged through spandex leggings, thick, hip-width muscle lapping at the base of her tapered, heroic torso. The twin planets of her ass rocked back and forth rhythmically swaying as she made her way towards the enclosed indoor pool to look for me. She was carrying the big white bra I’d been breathing from; it dangled from her right hand. Is she using that as bait?

I refused to fall for it. Now was my chance. 

Behind her back, just as she was stepping through the sliding doors, I darted away. Trying my best to stay quiet, I scooted towards the kitchen, and through the back hallway. There was a door there that led outside. If I made it outside, maybe I could-

I could what? As I got to the back door, and my hand met the handle, I froze. I was suddenly assaulted. Assaulted by doubt, apprehension and a new wave of nausea. 

Ugh. Ugh ugh- I- can’t. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t open the door. Something in my rat brain was stopping me. Somehow I knew, as the taste of bile hit the back of my throat, that things would only get worse out there than they were in here. I had a flash, a mental image, a picture of it. I would be cold, weak and alone, and the reality of it made me shiver. I couldn't do it. I’ve got to think of something else…

-----

I knew he wasn’t in here. I knew he wouldn’t dare go into the pool area. It was too frightening for him now that he was afraid to go near the water by himself. He might fall in again, drown without me.

Yeah, the pool room would be off-limits, even if it was  just to hide from me.. Plus, I knew where he was anyway haha. I could hear him. His heavy breathing, his little steps as he scampered from the great room.  He was trying to be sneaky but to me they were clear as day. I came out here anyway just to give him some time to try to get away, maybe find a really good hiding spot. I wasn’t worried that he’d go outside. If he did, then he’d be really scared, and he’d feel even sicker. So no. I wasn’t worried. He would need me soon.

But I wanted to hold him so bad. Like, now. 

So, after just a little bit - I counted to ten in my head - I turned around, came back into the main living area, and closed the slider to the pool behind me. “I guess you’re not in there,” I called out, knowing he could hear me. I peeled off my workout sneakers - one, two - and dropped them on the floor. Socks too. I liked the feeling of the house shaking under my bare feet, but first I listened. I could so easily sense him and everything about him now. So cool. 

“Oh are you starting to feel sick? Does you're tummy hurt? Hm hun?” I announced, “Being away from me is just so hard, huh?” Slowly I started to walk and yeah haha - <boom boom boom> went my feet. “Take a deep breath hun. There should be enough of my perfumes around so you can handle it - I’m really sweaty haha - but still. You don’t feel so good, do you?” It was like I could feel his stomach turn. “Come to mama. You can sniff her bra again, and make it all better <giggle!>”

This is like playing hide and seek with a toddler. I glanced around the great room, making a show of looking under the couch cushions and behind the big potted plant that I really needed to water, but I knew he wasn’t in here. He was like a little kid, so predictable so I kinda already knew where he was.It was so obvious. Plus haha I can hear his heartbeat. 

He was scared. Was he really trying to resist me?

“Hiding in the kitchen, hm?” I called out, as I casually made my way towards him. I’d turned off my perfumes, completely, a little while ago.  I didn’t really know I could do that, but I guess I can. I giggled to myself. If you're not going to play nice sweetie, then I'm not going to either. I can withhold from you. Let’s see how much you like that.

“Get ready, hun,” I said, “Here I come…”

---

Oh no! How the hell?!? I could hear her coming closer, the house - and everything around me - shaking under her feet. She couldn't possibly know!  

My heart raced anew. I thought I’d found a spot, the perfect place. Here, in the dark, I could be quiet. I could try to deal with this building nausea. She’d never think I could actually fit in here, right? I’d just had to push a few cleaning products out of the way and curl up a little. Suddenly my height is an advantage, I thought ruefully, but if she knew I was in the kitchen, it wouldn’t be long until-

<boom boom boom!> her footsteps were coming closer. 

How are they so loud??

She continued to talk to me, teasing me as she approached. “Haha I bet you’re wondering: ‘How does she know, huh? How does she know I was looking at the pamphlets? Her picture?’ Are you wondering that, sweetie? Are you wondering how I know?” 

She was in the kitchen, now. I heard her opening some of the upper cabinets. “I was downstairs working out with my mom’s little baby weights, lifting them all and I felt it. Haha I felt you, what you were doing,” she continued. A cabinet door <slammed>, making me flinch. “How does it feel to have a girlfriend that can read your mind, honey??”

Oh my god she’s crazy, I thought to myself but, for a second, I couldn't help but consider the horrifying possibility. I shivered in some dark mix of fear and arousal. What if she could?

I heard a loud <THUD> as she looked through a garbage can, followed by the clinking of utensils as she opened - a silverware drawer? How small does she think I am??

“Wanna know what else I can do?” she asked as her heavy footfalls - <boom, boom, boom> - approached even closer. What small bit of light came into my hiding space, the little sliver through the door, was eclipsed by the shadow of her legs as she passed in front. She’d stopped. She was now a foot away from me, if that. 

I knew, I knew it right then and there. She was waiting for me. She was standing there on purpose, blithely talking to me and indulging my little game of hiding from her. She totally knew where I was.

“You know, don’t you? That I know exactly where you are?” she began, “I can feel it, but that's not all. I can also tell you’re shaking. You’re quivering. You’re afraid.”

My eyes went wide. How? How was this all possible? I knew I needed to hide. I needed to get away, but all I managed to do was get myself trapped, and now she was coming to get me.

 “Awwww, honey, sweetie…don’t be too afraid…”

<BOOM!>

An enormous footfall, inches away, rattling the cabinets, glassware and indeed the entire house around us. I covered my head and went into a fetal position I heard her begin to laugh. All my nerve endings were screaming and I’d tucked away, backing deeper into my little hole as far as I could.

“You like that?” she chuckled, as <BOOM!> she slammed her foot again into the kitchen floor, to shake the house even more violently and causing me to nearly jump out of my own skin. I heard something crash and shatter in another room. “I can make my feet really heavy. I can make earthquakes for you,” she said, from where she stood right outside my hiding spot, “That’s kinda sexy, right?”

I tried to keep myself from moaning, whining, whimpering - I was so scared! - I didn't want her to hear me. She knew I was here but…but…

“Come on out, sweetie, come on out and I can show you what else I can do,” she continued, “I can use my breath, I can use my eyes, I can use everything that’s super about me and we can have so much fun…”

I couldn’t help it, I let out a noise. It was a groan? A moan? A little whine? Whatever it was it sounded pathetic, and I’m sure she heard it…

“Ohhhhh, sweetie..!” I heard her exclaim, “That little noise! Are you feeling okay? All hidden away from me, away from my perfumes?” I saw her shadow shift outside. “It hurts your tummy, doesn’t it? Being without them? Makes your head all ucky?”

Nnngh. Oh my god. Yes. I wanted it. I needed it, now more than ever. I needed to smell her, to breathe her in. I just need a little.

“Just a little? That’s all you need?” she cooed, torturing me with the promise and an infuriating little giggle, “Come on out, then. I have something that might help.”

I reached my hand out toward the door. I shivered, I shook. My bones rattled like a junkie, my mind desperate.

Wh-What is it?

“‘What is it?’ Hmm, here’s a hint,” she began, frightening me with her evident ability to know what I was thinking,  “it's smooth, and silky and white and it’s reeeeeally big. I think it'll make you feel allll better. You just have to ask nice.”

My breath rattled in my lungs as I pictured her caressing it in her hands. Oh Christ.

  “p-p-please..?” I peeped out, from my dark little spot, giving into my weakness and perversion as I finally revealed myself.

I heard her giggle. 

“Please what?”

“p-please may I come out..?” I asked.

“‘Please may I come out and..’? What else, honey?”

She was going to tease me, punish me, show me the folly of ever trying to get away from her.

“please may I come out,” I began again, my voice timid and meek. Just as weak as I was. I didn't even really know what I was saying anymore. “A-and…” oh my god oh christ what am I saying “...c-can you put your bra on my face?” 

What the hell’s become of me??

 I really need to get out of here!

“Oh, of course sweetie,” she giggled, apparently amused and tickled pink by the candidness of my pathetic request. “I would love to do that, but where are you?” she teased.

“I-I’m down here…” I said, from inside my lair, as I lightly pushed open the cabinet door.

---

“Oh good boy!” I sang, laughing. Omigod this was too much hahahaha! He asked! I got him to actually ask for it! “Good boy, good boy,” I said, immediately crouching down and opening the under-sink cabinet where he’d been hiding from me. “Oooo you look so cute, so little and curled-up and scared under there, like a little boy hiding from his - nnngh - mommy.” 

Did I just say that out loud haha??

He still had on his wrinkled little work shirt, his wrinkled little work pants. His brow was all wrinkled up too, he was so nervous, embarrassed. He looked up at me. “Aww, sweetie! It’s okay! Come on out!”

I knew I could have helped him, reached in and lifted him right out of there, but I wanted to stand and watch him crawl out toward me, Which was exactly what he started to do. 

Awkwardly, so awkward, he started coming on out, unfolding himself from the little ball he’d curled himself into. He got partway out, from the cabinet, before he stumbled and fell into a little heap at my feet. I giggled at his clumsiness, and looked down at him.

He started to try to get his hands under himself, maybe trying to stand - but I could tell he really wanted to scamper away.

“Nuh-uh,” I immediately said with a frown, placing a big, bare foot of mine onto his chest. I gently (well, maybe not so gently haha)  pushed him down, until he was laying on the floor. With his scared little eyes looking up at me as I had him pinned on his back, it was priceless! 

 Oh, haha, poor baby. Are you afraid that I saw through your little escape attempt? Afraid I read your mind? This was just too much fun!

“Stay there for a minute,” I told him, my foot now pushing him into the polished hardwood floor of the kitchen. Nnnngh omigod is that a boner? Is he…haha omigoddd…liking having my foot on him, being stepped on? Little man don’t you know I could crush your ribcage like celery sticks?

I considered pushing my foot up, rubbing it in his face. I could make him lick and kiss my toes to make it up to me, for all this running away and hiding. Kiss my feet. The boys in the basement ask to do it. Maybe you should learn to do it too. 

“h-how did you know I was in there?” he finally asked, from down on the ground. There were so many questions in his scared little eyes, but he was really just having trouble accepting the truth about what I could do. I figured I should keep it simple.

“Let’s just call it women’s intuition,” I said, smiling my biggest warmest smile at him as I took my foot off him, leaned down, and picked him right up from under his arms. My bra still dangled from my right hand but I had no trouble; he weighed practically nothing. I could hold him off the ground like this for as long as I wanted, watch him squirm. I looked him right in the eye as I slowly started to pull him in-

Oh ho the little noodge! He put his hands up to my chest, trying to push off, push me away. 

‘Still afraid of me huh? Even with that big boner in your pants?’ He pushed, the little twerp. “Oh like that’s going to help!” Nnngh! That’s only going to make it worse haha! ‘Now, come to mama…’

 I arched my back, pressing my big breasts just further into his small hands. I couldn't keep from moaning. "OOoooOOoooo I like the feeling of your little hands on me, Jay,” I said, “It makes me feel even bigger!” 

It’s true. Maybe I’m a bit mean sometimes, maybe I’m a bad girlfriend but comparing his shrunken body to mine was like my favorite thing to do. “You’re so small, so little and weak,” I said to him, “and when we’re together I feel huge. I love feeling huge.” I giggled. His hands were mushed right into my boobs, basically disappearing. “Do you promise you’ll keep getting smaller for me?”

His jaw was quivering, his eyes big and wide. He was staring at his hands, seeing for himself just how smsll they were compared to my breasts. He was just so powerless. Shocked, he looked up into my face... His brain was slowing down. He was having trouble talking. I had let go just a little of my pheram- uh, perfumes - I didn’t like when he felt sick to his tummy! - but it’s not like he was babbling, or salivating all over the floor. I could just tell he was lost in me. And not just in my size, he was lost in all of me. Sure he was paying attention to  the swell of my shoulders and traps  which, nnngh, were still all pumped up and enormous and maybe haha a little intimidating. But his eyes also traveled into my eyes, my smile, my big thick hair. I just loved how he was looking at me. It's quite nice, sometimes, to be such a bombshell haha.

He was like a baby deer, and now that he’d been caught by the hungry mama bear - haha me -  with his big wide eyes, all his trembling? He might as well have been drizzling himself in honey. “Sweetie I need a kiss, a nice big one,” I told him, unable to help myself as I pulled him in. 

He could tell as soon as my my lips pressed against his: I just wanted to eat him up! He could feel how wonderfully full my lips were and just how easily they engulfed his. He felt their softness and warmth overtake him, and, nnngh, I wanted him to imagine them pressing up against his entire body, being sucked into my mouth, me eating him up! My lips needed no help pulling him into them and haha as we kissed he could feel his breath being drawn from his lungs by my own stronger ones. I held his breath from him and when I finally released him he found himself panting.

“M-Melissa, oh my god…” he managed, his head swimming from lack of air. 

My cheeks warmed up and my excitement built even more. I opened my mouth to respond, but instead a moan came out and once again I pressed my lips against his. Now I really began to suck him in, a huge kiss.

It’s like…I didn’t mean to kiss him again. I should really be punishing him, for snooping, for running away from me and hiding. There were other things I should be doing, I knew, to show him his place, but I wanted him inside me so badly and as I kissed him my mouth opened wider and worked against his, overpowering his smaller lips with my own while again drawing the breath from inside him. I sucked in, and in, and in. He struggled a little, then a lot, in my hands. Squirming around, the little cutie.

I thought maybe I should break the kiss but - haha no -  I didn’t wanna, even as his chest began to strain and I began to get concerned I might collapse his skinny chest. He’d stopped moving. So instead I breathed into him, filling his lungs. I’d taken the breath from him so I could give him my own. Don’t worry, I can give you what you need to breathe. What I breathed into him was better than regular air. It was my air, my oxygen, it was all me me me.

Stil, he began to squirm again, like he was trying to get away from me. 

“You are being such a stinker!” I laughed, breaking our kiss and holding him so our faces were just inches apart. I cocked my head and regarded him, falling into thought as he gasped. “I’m beginning to think that your email friend and this ‘resistance’ are a little problem for us. Are they making you think this way, act up like this, all naughty? I don't want them infecting my perfect little man with bad ideas.”

He shook his head, still recovering. “N-no, Melissa, I just w-wanted to…f-find out more…” 

“Oh, Jay, I know,” I said, trying to stay calm. Think, Missy, think. Be patient with him. “Well, as long as you stop reading those emails, it's no problem.” At least for now. 

He didn’t have a phone, at this point, no one could text him either. We looked through all his mail, made sure he only got stuff we’d want him to read. In fact, is there any reason he needs to read at all? God haha mmmph! That would be amazing! Emptying that little head of his until he can't remember how to read. I could just picture it: I imagined myself looking into his eyes and draining him of all his big-boy smarts until he was like a simple little child, watching all his brains just dribble out. That way I could read to him at night, help him along with books at bedtime. Books like - what’s it called? One Fish, Two Fish? Red Fish, Blue Fish? Or haha One Boob, Two Boobs, White Boobs, Brown Boobs. That should keep him focused on what's important. Haha Boobs Boobs Boobs hahahahaha. 

Sometimes I sound crazy, I know. But everyone is a little crazy when they're in love, right?

“So, though, is that why you were sneaking around snooping? Reading those pamphlets and looking through my stuff?” I asked as gentle as I could be when every inch of me just wanted to, nnngh haha toss his little man body onto the counter and climb on top of him. “You trying to figure me out?” I continued.

At that, I lifted him a bit and <plopped> him on his butt, right onto the granite of the kitchen counter, next to the sink. His little legs dangled off the side. I put my hands down - I was still holding my bra - on either side of his knees, resting the weight of my upper body on the stone and leaning in towards him. Instinctively, he leaned back a bit. People get like that, these days. They have trouble handling me when I get close.

“I should punish you but, well, here. Let me tell you a little about what’s happening…”

===================================

thank you to @artaibyanuartoraigyrov for the base image in the first pic, and to RiF for help in editing.

As always, more on Patreon:

[fictionalmenxyn]

Incorrect Quotes

—

Y/n: Hey can I tell you a joke?

Ghost: go on..

Y/n: what’s a dj’s favourite sauce?

Ghost: What is it?

Y/n: *giggles* mera nera (Marinara)

Ghost: *proud of Y/n*

—

*Soap and Gaz casually watching Tv*

*Y/n walking through the hallway while watching TikTok’s*

Y/n: *with headphones on* I’m gunna kill my mom.. I’m gunna kill my dad

Soap: what I’m god name..

Y/n: I’m gunna my grandma

Soap: what is she up to??

Gaz: it’s a TikTok sound don’t worry

Soap: a what?

Gaz: it’s a sound thing.. uh just don’t worry it’s fake

Soap: *drops eyebrow raise* right..

Soap&Gaz: …

Soap: I’m old right

Gaz: *quickly responds* yeah

—

Y/n: two bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart cuz they aren’t gay

Soap: Ghost is my boyfriend??

Ghost:.. you forgot didn’t you?

Y/n: pff noo.. maybe.. ok yeah fine just for a second..

Soap: *laughs*

(Saw something like this off of Pinterest I didn’t copy them I did change it so it was different I just used this vine and also thought it had fitted well for these three)

—

Y/n: *whispers* ok Alejandro we need to place these *suggests hand grenades* with the rope so it will set it off when he opens his door

Alejandro: *whispers back* sound like a plan amiga (friend)

*Y/n and Alejandro grab a piece of rope and a grenade each*

*hears door open*

Graves: uhh what are you doing

Y/n: *hides rope and grenade* nothing that may concern you, Graves

Graves: *raises eyebrow*

*hears some saucy TikTok edit sound*

Y/n: what you watching in there Graves??

Alejandro: sounds a bit odd if you ask me

Y/n: agreed

Graves: uh.. uh nothing leave me alone

Y/n: your on my sus radar

Graves: WHAT WHY

Y/n: Run!

*Y/n and Alejandro runs off most likely to Ghost or Price for protection*

—

Y/n: I have a question..

Ghost: Go on..

Y/n: if an animal were to speak what one would be the most scary?

Soap: a chihuahua

Ghost: what?

Soap: how you ever been with one they are vicious little things

Ghost: I would’ve said a goblin shark

Y/n: well at least one of us gave a decent answer..

Soap: THEY ARE VICIOUS OK?! *gets flashbacks from getting chased by one*

—

Gaz: hey Price do you know updog?

Price: updog?

Y/n: yeah do you know updog?

Price: what’s updog?

Gaz: nothing much? You?

Gaz&Y/n: *bursts out laughing*

Price: *confused* kids today..

—

Y/n: Gaz let’s fight!

Gaz: why? Is there a reason?

Y/n: idk? What’s your favourite animal?

Gaz: uhh probably a chameleon?

Y/n: fuck chameleons!

Gaz: WATCH IT YOU!

—

Hi! I will be double posting today as I may or may not post tomorrow as it will be my birthday! I have had some requests which I’m currently working on. Still feel free to request anything you would like to see or anything that comes to mind. Have a good day/night! :D

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 3

♡ Summary: Carmy actually has allowed himself FRIENDS?? Also- he gets to have like.. a normal day with Syd somewhat, outside of work, hanging out with people who aren't in any way involved w/ the restaurant.

♡ W/C: 6,919

♡ Posted Date: 04/08/2024

♡ A/N: Hayo ;D Here is C3 of Blue Lotus!!! I am v much like Carmy & got a alot of amusement AND enjoyment writing this chapter, so that makes my brain tell me I took it too OOC & I haaate writing these 2 OOC. So if its OOC I'm sorry, but at least it's funny LOL. The story Shayna tells is lightly based on Euphoria But the college version - so if you've seen it that's why it feels a little familiar - if you haven't seen it its a same vibe except high school so the father is much, much more disgusting. But I looove writing Shayna so much, I have friends like her & they are always the personalities to make you laugh until youre sore the next day - & Syd & Carmy deserves a friend like that so I gave them one! Without further ado, I hope you enjoy <3 As per usual this fic is inspired by Tucson that can be read here It was written by my lovely friend @gingergofastboatsmojito please be sure to read that one before you read Blue Lotus, also do give Ginger a follow!!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Talks of ; a near physical assault, blood, sex, transphobia/outing, self inflicted wounds, actually contains; smoking cigarettes/weed, drinking alcohol, vomiting, swearing

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

“Hey! Im Sydney- sure! We were uh…we were gonna cook- do you wanna join? I just got back from the store” she got up, shaking her hand. 

“Totally -  my god this necklace! Where did you get it?” Shayna asked, leaning in and looking at the pendant “and you smell so good, lavender?” She said. 

“I thrifted it! I love thrifting. Carm does too- does it so much he has to keep extra jeans in his oven.. oh! And yeah this perfume it’s inside. I’ll show it to you” Syd replied happily. 

“Your oven?” Jesse asked Carm 

“Yeah uh.. not enough space- um Syd these are my…” he trails off 

“Friends. Were his friends- therapy friends I guess. I mean I hope he holds his word and texts me when we get out of here” Shayna nudged Carm’s shoulder gently. 

He cleared his throat “yeah- uh-my friends. Shayna and Jesse.” He said shyly. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you guys, have you ever had deer? They sell it at the grocery store here, harder to get in Chicago. I figured we’d try this recipe I thought up a while ago” she opened the door to the cabin and Jesse and Shana went inside making themselves at home right away. 

This wasn’t the first time they’d hung out, they would do this a few times a week before dinner and then sit and eat together before going back to their respective cabins for the night. 

“Never had deer before - aren’t you guys like super chefs or-“ Jesse is interrupted by Shayna’s whining 

“Carmen you still haven’t asked for a wifi box?!” She asked annoyed, putting her phone back in the pocket of her cargo jeans.  

“No I haven’t because I don’t need one I’m not addicted to Instagram or whatever the fuck” Carmy said, taking the door for Syd and she headed in, him following suit. 

“Oh yeah I forgot Carmy the little old man who likes to hide away from the online world- you look like you take fire Instagram pictures, how do you deal with that loser all the time?” She asked Syd jokingly, leaning against the counter and watching as she pulled various ingredients from the fridge. 

Syd laughed a bit, a big smile on her face as she moved around looking through various cabinets. “I do…um- Chef-“ she said and he sat up from where he was leaning against the kitchen doorframe 

“Where do you need me?” He asked her 

“Onions medium dice if you can manage the knives here suck” she took out one of the small knives they kept for him in the drawer and set it on the cutting board as she began to pick the rosemary, putting the sprigs in a bowl. 

“What the fuck is that” Shayna picked up a mortar with a deep black goop at the bottom. 

“Juniper berries…found a juniper tree when I was hanging outside. Made sure it’s the right kind so don’t be worried” Syd said and Carmen couldn’t help the small smile that curled his lips. 

“You found a juniper, and you just.. remembered this recipe?” Carmen asked, chopping the onions as skillfully as if he hadn’t been out of the kitchen a single day. 

“Thats hot” Shayna says “you’re hot as hell bitch! Oh my god! You just saw a tree and were like ‘let me make up this super cute berry deer coquette dish’ ” she said, causing Syd, her, and Jesse to crack up, but Carmen was lost. 

“The fuck is a coquette?” He asked, causing Syd to laugh harder when Shayna said between giggles 

“I told you! He’s so old!!!” She squeaked, leaning against the counter and wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. 

“Coquette is like… Marina and the Diamonds on Vinyl, pink bow, fairy princess, Sydney in the woods picking juniper berries aesthetic it’s like..a vibe.” Shayna explained.

“Oh my god- it’s a girl thing carm it’s like. I dunno- like pink frilly shit and like- Lacy shit?” Jesse tried to explain. 

Carm raised his brows, scraping the now cut onions into a bowl. “So Syd picking berries what does that have to do with- what did you say- pink bows?” Carm questioned and Shayna rolls her eyes. 

“It’s the vibe Carmen, the vibe. Ugh you are no fun I can already tell Sydney is the fun one. What music do you listen to?” Shayna sat up next to Syd on the counter as she dusted the board with flour and started to cut the meat into chunks. 

“I listen to…well- a lot. My mom loved R&B so I still listen to that but mostly 90s stuff that makes me think of her, I love SZA, HER, Jhené Aiko, oh Kali Uchis! Khelani of course… frank ocean is so fire I really like his stuff too..yeah just a lot of stuff.” She explained. 

Carm sat there digesting every word she said, it wasn’t unusual for him to do that. He tried tucking the unfamiliar names in the back of his mind so he could look them up or ask Shayna what she knew about them later. 

“Oh my god- we have to chill sometime!! Do you smoke?” Shay asked hopefully and Syd looked at Carm for a moment before her eyes flickered back to Shayna. 

“I do. But…not when I’m working. Because it fucks up my taste and smell..but I am on vacation so…” she said with a small shrug and a smile. 

“Dude! Oh my god Jesse cmon I need to go back to my cabin” she got down off the counter “I’ll be right back” she said and they headed out being sure to close the door behind them. 

“They’re fucking?” Syd asked and Carmen laughed a bit 

“No- no. Where’d you get that?” He asked, beginning to peel the carrots over the garbage can. 

“Why did he go with her? Aren’t the cabins all right here?” She asked. 

Carmen looked up at her for a moment “oh- yeah. They are. Shay has somethin about being alone. Somethin about her childhood- she came here because she said it’s like…the good version of where her dad sent her. Whatever that means. But she can’t be out and about alone it freaks her out. I guess she went to some… wilderness camp? She went on about it in one of our sessions. They were…they were fucked up.” He said, putting the now peeled carrot down on the cutting board and starting on the next. 

“Shit.” She said, putting the cast iron on the burner, starting the flame with the lighter that she’d found on the counter. “Like…so they left her in the middle of nowhere or something?” She asked and Carmy shrugged. 

“Kinda like that. She said that they like…would hike all day. And then at night they’d have to pitch their own tents. They took their shoes at night so they wouldn’t try and run. They’d like- send pictures back to their family- and if they didn’t smile they’d get in trouble. Pretty fuckin…sadistic shit t’do to a kid. Dunno how her dad thought it would change her ways - she said she went because their views on religion didn’t align…” he explained 

“Wow…” she said, after a long beat of silence “she’s like..I wouldn’t have expected her to be so friendly after that. I wouldn’t be” she said, salting down the meat. 

“Yeah Shayna is…a character. For sure. But she’s really sweet, and has a huge heart even though she loves to bitch people out. She’d cut someone if they tried to fuck with me, though. One of the newcomers showed me that” he chuckled, shaking his head a bit. 

“What happened?” She asked

“So we were at lunch, and before that day we just..sat at the same table but didn’t really talk. She talked, but I would mostly listen. And um, this new dude. Justin? I think? Total fuckhead. Guys a tank too, like fuckin’ 6’2? No joke. But uh he was like basically screaming at his table, talkin’ so fuckin’ loud, so I looked over- and he met my eyes and just went off hes like ‘you got a problem little man? What the fuck is up with you, you got a staring problem?’ And Shayna- you should have seen her!” He laughs at the memory. 

“What’d she do?” Syd asks curiously. 

“Oh, she picked up her mashed potatoes- like - a fist full of mashed potatoes Syd- bare handed- and screeeamed at him ‘YOU WANNA FUCK WITH HIM COCKSUCKER?! WHY DON’T YOU COME FUCK WITH A BITCH THAT CAN ACTUALLY LOOK YOU IN THE EYE, SCAREDY MOTHERFUCKER!’  then whipped it at the dude. It hit him right in the face- eeeeveryone was dying we were all cracking the fuck up. I haven't seen him again after that, thankfully, but then she just looked at me and asked me for my plastic knife so she could get the potatoes from under those huge nails she wears and went to wash her hands like nothing happened.” He explained. 

Syd laughs and Carm follows suit. “Wow. Well I guess I shouldn’t worry about you after all- you found a temporary big sister, you should keep her around. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who would pelt another in the face with mashed potatoes for me” she snorts a laugh, setting the meat in the pan. 

“I would. Without a shadow of a doubt, when Marcus was yelling at you I wanted to fuckin knock him out with a pan-“ he stopped himself and she looked over at him, the only sound now filling the room being the sizzling of venison on cast iron and the tick of the wall clock. 

She blinked a few times, unsure what to say before the memory of the drawing came back to her. 

Just say it now. Why else would he want to hit one of his employees with a pan if not for feelings he hasn’t made me aware of?

She’d thought to herself. 

But Carmen on the other hand was thanking god that Shayna and Jesse came back, boisterous as ever- 

“Pookiesss We come bearing gifts” Shayna drops a bag on the table, as well as a pink speaker that was playing some Spanish music Carmen hadn’t ever heard before. 

“You listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd asks as she turns around. 

“YOU Listen to bad bunny?” Jesse asks and Syd smiles big 

“Who doesn’t listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd laughed “he’s like- literally I think the most listened to Spotify artist or something? Top 3?!” 

“Who is bad bunny?” Carmen asks as he cut the carrots into matchsticks. 

“You need to train your dogs better, Sydney” Shayna teased, taking shooters of grey goose out of her tote bag and putting them in the freezer. 

Syd laughs so hard she snorts, covering up her mouth with her hand and shaking her head. “You are fucking insane” she said 

Carmen smiled big, looking over at Syd. “Chef, did you just snort?” He teased smugly and set his knife down, leaning against the counter next to her, smirking. 

“I did- because your friend thinks you’re my bitch” she teased, turning back to the meat and flipping each cube carefully with the metal tongs that were next to her on the counter. 

Carmen’s mouth drops and his cheeks go scarlett, Shayna snorts a laugh, sitting at the table casually, legs crossed as she picked the stems and seeds off buds of weed, while Jesse howls with laughter. “Fuuuck-“ he shakes his head with amusement “wow. I uh…” he snorts a laugh “I get you Carmen. Get you better now” he said. 

“Okay- fuck you shayna” Carmen shook his head, unable to contain his smile. He’d never heard Syd laugh so hard before and witnessing it made him feel on fire. 

“Sorry I can tell who wears the pants it’s a natural talent of mine” she shrugged, “Jess come do this” she slid the little container of picked apart buds over to the spot next to her and he sits next to her at the table. 

“So you guys aren’t..like you’ve not known eachother before this?” Syd asks them. 

“Oh! No we did actually. Jess and I met at this program when we were 14, restart. It was a pure chance though that we come here at the same time.” She said and got up, washing her hands in the kitchen sink of the sticky resin. 

“That’s so cool - where are you from?” Syd asked her as she takes the bowl of onions from next to Carm at the island, their hands brushing for a moment which caused Carmen to nearly cut himself because his focus was completely lost at her touch. 

“Were from LA. Aren’t you from Chicago? Why are you here? I mean- like it’s great you’re great I’m glad to have a sane member of society around, it’s refreshing when you’re only around only psychos, you know? But uh..” she laughed a bit when Syd got started “you must be…pretty close friends” she looked at Carm for a moment before looking back at her. 

Carmen suddenly felt something akin to anger sitting low in his chest. And it had to do with Shayna. He likes Shayna, so he wasn’t sure what was going on. But, Jesse saw the switch in Carmen- and read it right away as jealousy. 

“Uh…” Syd clears her throat nervously, suddenly not knowing what to say. 

“Like what is it? Jess? We went to restart in Wisconsin so Chicago? How far is that?” She asks. 

Jesse gave her the cut it out eyes, but Shayna hadn’t been able to play matchmaker in weeks, she was gonna push these two together the same way she made her Barbie’s kiss when she was a kid. 

“I’ll guess like - 1800 miles. Soooo- oh! And don’t you have that restaurant?” She asked and Syd nods. 

“Mmhmm we run it together. It’s fine though it’s being held down, I finally got my new Sous trained and his sister is working a lot lately she wants to get everything all together before she has her baby so…” she rambled on, trying to pull out any reason that made it sound like she was unneeded there - even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“Right. I’m gonna go smoke would you like to come? I’m sure your…” she looks back at Carmen for a moment before looking back at Sydney “partner can hold this down until we get back?” She asked and looked at Carmen again, raising her brows. 

“Yeah- yeah Syd go. Go ahead go relax - got this chef.” He nods and went over to the stove, squeezing past her in the tight space, his hand brushing her waist momentarily as he did so. 

“Okay- okay sure” Syd nodded, following Shayna outside. She walked quietly for a few moments, lighting the joint and taking a drag before handing it over to Syd. 

They were about 30 feet from the house, Syd was taking a deep drag of the joint - savoring the taste since she couldn’t do it often, when Shayna said 

“You need to fuck eachothers brains out so he can go the fuck home. That- or tell him it’ll never happen so he can stay here for however long it takes him to break down and move on” 

Sydney choked on the smoke in her throat, quickly handing the burning joint back to Shayna and coughing into her arm. 

Shayna laughs before taking another drag, patting Sydney’s back sympathetically. “Sorry- people have told me I’m too blunt but I’d rather hear the truth so I give it to people straight” she said simply. 

“Dude! What if he heard you! Shhh!” Sydney said once she caught her breath. 

“Oh please! No! He didn’t! And if he did- he’d be leaned halfway out the door trying to hear the answer because he’s dying to know! You know he has the hots for you- please- don’t play stupid, girl” She rolled her eyes, handing the joint back over. 

“What - no- he’s- we’re business partners” Syd replied, shaking her head and taking a short drag. “He doesn’t. He’s just sick and clinging to me he’s - he’s depressed and I’m violating HIPAA or whatever by saying that but it’s honest! I’m not his type” She passed it back over to Shayna. 

She took it, laughing at her HIPAA comment “Chefs aren’t bound to HIPAA regulations, but nonetheless- I’ll be honest for you, since you can’t be honest with yourself. You flew here because you want to fuck him. There’s no other explanation- no not even just fuck- you love the guy. Why else would you fly across the country to be with him? Especially when he’s due home in 11 days. No dick is that great, especially attached to a guy on that many psych meds.” She said and took a long drag. 

Sydney’s heart began racing 100 miles an hour. She stopped walking, leaning against the fence, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She imagined this is how Carmy felt when Stardust threw him off. 

“Are you- what in the Hozier Adele ass fuck. You didn’t know? Or - realize- the L word? That you love him?” Shayna said, taking another drag of the joint. 

Sydney stared at the forest ahead, resting her hand on her forehead, shaking her head. “Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.” She swallowed hard. “Um-uh I- I feel sick? I feel- I’m gonna throw up.” Syd said, standing up and quickly walking over to the large oak tree at the end of the rows of cabins, hurling up the remainders of her lunch which was just a McDonald’s burger she’d gotten on her way back from the grocery store. 

“Jesus Christ. It’s you too? What are you waiting for?” Shay followed after her, rubbing her back gently  

“What do you mean-“ She’s interrupted by a gag she couldn’t hold back. “Fuck. What do you mean what’s me too?” She asked, coughing and spitting the bile taste in her mouth on the ground before leaning against the tree to catch her breath. 

“Like- you and him both don’t even realize you’re in love. It’s weird as fuck. It’s usually one person chasing - but you guys are secretly chasing eachother? But also at the same time trying I dunno. One of you has to make a move though” she said, leaning on the tree next to Syd. 

“What if he’s just sick? What if he’s clinging to me because he’s sick and…and I’m like manipulating him” she asked nervously 

“Ahh yes because you are manipulating a grown man into not breathing when he sees you? You can do that? Can you teach me? Except I’ll use it to kill creeps” she nudged Syds shoulder, finally earning a smile back out of her. 

“He doesn’t do that…” she looked at the ground sheepishly

“When we get back, I’m gonna count out loud because the oblivious fuck hears no one when you’re around, and watch he won’t be breathing. I swear it’s like the first thing I noticed looks like a fuckin fish out of water.” She said and finished the joint, stomping it out with her shoe. “Shall we put my experiment to the test?” She asks and Syd rolls her eyes. 

“I wanna see what’s going on with the food let’s go” she smiled a bit, heading back with Shayna to the cabin.  

It only took them 4 minutes back, Shayna walks in first and Carm’s head pops up from his conversation with Jesse at the counter, and as soon as Syd pops in behind her- Shayna quietly starts whispering “one…two…three…four..-OW!” She squeaks as Syd kicks her ankle just enough to hurt. 

That was enough to break Carm out of his trance “hey- hey- how was your walk, y’okay? You look…I dunno” he came up to her, feeling Syds cheek with the back of his hand “y’flushed…” he said and she pulled away from his touch, feeling embarrassed. 

“I’m fine” she said, walking back to the stove and making sure the meat was okay. “What did you do with the beef stock?” She asked, looking over the counter. 

Carmy swallowed thickly “uh- sorry, sorry. Here” he went to where he put it in the cabinet and handed it to her. “We…we good?” he asked quietly. 

“We’re good. Get the juniper berries please.” She said without meeting his gaze and opened the stock, pouring some in the pan. 

Shayna giggles and Carm looks back at where she and Jesse were sat at the table, Jesse making a circle with his thumb and forefinger and thrusting his other finger in and out of it, alluding to their sexual tension lacing the room. 

“Oh you are children.” Carmen grumbles, grabbing a beer from the fridge and rolling his eyes “want one- dipshit? Cabin check is tomorrow they all need to be gone” he said and Jesse nodded with a smug smile. 

“You love your crazy camp besties pookie!!! Don’t play games cause your cool chef friend is around” Shayna said, getting up and going to the freezer, taking out 2 shots. 

“Syd?” She asked and Sydney turns around, looking at the shots in her hand. 

“Uh- why not. Sure. Just one” she said, taking one of them and cracking it open. 

“Cheers” Shayna says, clinking her shooter with Syds 

“To?” Syd asked. 

“New beginnings” Shayna said simply before tilting her head back and swallowing the shot in one gulp.

“That was the best fucking food I’ve ever eaten. Have you guys ever been told you should open a restaurant?” Jesse teased, helping Carmen clear the empty dishes from table. 

“Wow you really should pursue stand up, Jess” Carmy said with a small smile, collecting the 4 disposable cups they used for wine and throwing them away. 

“You know who would fuckin love her Carm?” Syd motions to Shayna 

“Who?” He mused, rolling up his sleeves and starting the hot water on the sink. 

“Richie. They’d be menaces together but they’d be best friends!” Syd laughs a bit and Carmen gasps 

“Richie!!! Yes! They would- but- Oh my god how is he? I literally- fuck. I’m so shitty I haven’t even really…like been thinkin about everyone back home other then like you and I- I guess sugar” Carmen said. 

Jesse and Shayna gave eachother a ‘we’ll discuss this romcom fuckshow later’ look, before giggling amongst themselves. 

“He’s- he’s Richie. He’s never gonna let me stabbing him go. Every time I tell him to do something he’s like ‘right away chef wouldn’t wanna get stabbed’ - he’s scaring the new hires, carm!” She giggled in the way that made his heart flutter like butterflies were smacking it with their wings. “And he keeps calling me cousin by mistake!! It’s getting ..really weird” she shook her head, sitting down at the table. 

“You stabbed a motherfucker?” Shayna asked impressed. 

Carmen laughed a bit “on accident” he told her 

“Doesn’t mean it didn’t feel good he was grating my last nerve that day. But I mean…he’s okay so I’m not that bad for thinking it” she smiled and Carmen laughed, scrubbing the plates with the sponge. 

“I would have stabbed this motherfucker but I just did one better and made everyone afraid to fuck with me. Everyone thinks this was a result of my attempt but it’s not.” Shayna showed off a long scar on her forearm, partially covered by a large dragon tattoo. 

“You did that to yourself?” Syd asked, slightly impressed but mostly a little scared, her finger gently rubbing up the raised scar. 

“Mmhmm. In college. I went to this party, this guy-“ she shook her head with a small, mischievous smile. “So he comes in the kitchen, he’s acting like a fucking bull so of course I’m staring at the weirdo, right? He looks at me- and he goes what the fuck are you looking at, bitch. And I was new, so I didn’t know it was his house. So I was like I’m looking at some meathead loosing his temper like a toddler, what the fuck are you looking at. And he just asks me who I am- and…” she sits back “I didn’t know anyone? Like…I went there to meet people. So I was like oh I’m Shayna and he just starts screaming ‘who the fuck is Shayna, does anyone at this party know a fucking Shayna?’ And he was like in my face. So I told him I was like I’m not trying to start anything here I’m minding my business back up and he goes ‘no one that looks like you is minding their own business’ and then he- he told me he knew what I was.” She said and shrugged.

 “ And that I just wanted attention. And that he would give me the attention I was looking for. And then? He told everyone in the kitchen that someone better speak for me or he was gonna fuck me up.- so, I grabbed a knife from the counter, and he backed up like a pussy and was like ‘I’m kidding! I’m kidding it’s a joke I’m fucking with you!’ And I asked him if he wanted to hurt me, and he kept saying no - even though I knew he was getting ready to kick the shit out of me, probably worse. So I slit my arm, and bled on him. Then I left. And no one ever tried to out me there again.” She said and sipped her beer. 

“You’re gay?” Sydney asked curiously. 

“Yeah but that’s- Jesus Christ these Chicagoans” she said, and her and Jesse started laughing. 

“What? What’s funny?” Syd sat up. 

“she’s-“ Carmen starts

“AHT!” Shayna tisks “no, Carmen, we got to make fun of you for a month now we get to make fun of her until she figures it out. I think you’re smarter though, socially speaking” She said and Carmen gives her the finger, causing her to laugh. 

“Oh- ohhhh! Wow! I wonder how he thought he could tell” Syd said and Carmen looks back at her. 

“Really?! How did you figure it out so fast?!” He asked her 

Syd laughs “oh because it’s the 2020’s and if someone says they were outed and it’s not about being gay, there’s only one other thing to out” she said and Carm huffs, annoyed with his own pitfalls of refusing to make friends his first 30 years. 

“Yeah how would he know? I didn’t know” Carm asked her and she smiled big, looking at Jesse. 

“It was fucked. Up. What you did. But if you wanna tell them? Gooo ahead.” He said with a smile, drying the dishes as Carm washed and rinsed them. 

Shayna laughs excitedly, sitting up and pushing her long blonde hair back. “Okay, so. I end up finding out who this guy is, right? And apparently…his dad who was the football coach was like- DL- into trans girls- “ Carm interrupts 

“What does that mean?” He asked her 

“DL? Down low, like- they fuck us in private” she explained and Carmen scrunched his brows in confusion 

“Why?” He asked and Shayna looked at him confused. 

“Because…they think it’s gay?” She said like it was obvious, but to Carmen, it wasn’t. 

“But… Y’re a girl. So how would it be gay?” He asked 

“I’ll give you a ‘how humans interact with eachother’ lesson later, Carmen, for now it’s story time” she teased.

 “Anyway-“ she continued “so I find this out, because I look up his name on Facebook - see his dad tagged, and I fly to Grindr- because I swore I literally saw him there. Turns out I had. So I send him a chat, we hit it off, I go fuck him-“ she said, Syd starts laughing, Carm turns around with wide jaw eyes and a dropped jaw. 

“Like- oh I fuuuuucked that man. Multiple times. He didn’t fuck me- let me say that again for your cis ears to have it sink in, I fucked- this man’s father” she said - Carmen’s jaw drops further, and Jesse was howling with laughter at Syd and Carmys shocked expressions. 

“No- no- Shayna- hold on I need a cigarette - Jesse take this shit over” Carmen pulls open the front door, pushing up the glass on the screen door, grabbed his beer and cigarettes from the counter, and sat next to Syd at the table. “Okay keep goin- I’ve never heard this much-“ he shook his head in amusement 

“Tea? I know- it gets better!” Shayna laughs. 

Carmen smirked, shaking his head and taking out a cigarette lighting it between his lips and taking a drag. “So you fucked this man’s dad.” Carmen couldn’t help but laugh at how insane the words sounded coming from his mouth- and Sydney followed suit, head falling back and eyes squeezing shut, Carmen’s heart quickened at the adorable sight, having the urge to reach out and grab her soft, delicate hand that was just a few inches from his own on the tabletop. 

“Oh my god- were taking them with us back to chicago- I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this” Syd said, stealing his beer from next to him and taking a sip. 

The action made Carmen’s heart skip a beat. The fact that she was comfortable drinking out of something his lips had already touched, it drove him wild. They had tried food off of the same spoon at work just so they didn’t have to go through the hassle of washing two, but this felt…different. More intimate. 

“Did you- I’m sorry- did you want one?” He asked “I didn’t think you liked beer - I thought you said you like wine more” he said and she shook her head. 

“We can share…right?” She asked, a bit shyly. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, maybe it was because her white claw had been long forgotten and now was luke warm on the kitchen counter, or maybe it was the few extra shots she’d been convinced into taking earlier that was causing her to take the chat with Shayna to heart. 

“Yeah- course, always.” He nodded a bit. Unnoticed by Syd and Carmy, Jesse and Shayna give eachother another ‘we’re gonna talk about this romcom shit later’ look before Shayna clears her throat. 

“So- yes Carmen, I fucked this man’s father. And multiple times. He was married- I didn’t fully know that though before you both look at me shitty- he didn’t say that -“ Jesse cuts her off 

“Ohhhh- oh! No!!” He laughs “no- the real story- is that she saw a ring but didn’t ask about it - you may now continue” he said, turning back to the sink and rinsing the last of the dishes. 

Carm snorts a laugh “evil. That is evil the man’s marriage! Shayna!” He took a drag of his cigarette and she rolled her eyes. 

“It was already on the rocks- let me finish! You fucks! So then- I recorded it, and I held onto it- just in case. But. Get this- one of my girlfriends on campus? Guess who she ran into on Grindr?” She asks and Carm and Syd both lean in slightly, and Shayna can’t help but notice the way they were already so in sync. 

“The fucking guy from the party” she said and Syd gasps, Carmen cracks up. 

“He’s his fathers spitting image. Thats it. That’s why- that’s why he said that to you. He knows about you or whatever? Because he loves girls like you and is also a pussy.” Syd said and Carm hums in agreement. 

“Exactly! Exactly. So…I had her tell him to meet her in the park- but…” she smirks and Sydney covers her mouth preemptively, knowing whatever was going to say next was going to be off the wall. 

“I was there too- fucking his dad! And oops! he saw us! And I asked him if we should check and see who’s bigger- he dropped out of school the same week- and the dad resigned” she said and took another casual sip of her beer with a proud smirk.

Carmen sits there, dumbfounded, looking to Sydney who when she saw the look on his face cracked up. “Your face-“ she said, causing him to start laughing as well. 

“Shay-“ he looks at her, wiping tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. “Shayna what the fuck” he managed to get out before laughing again, shaking his head. “You are a person that I won’t ever, ever get on your shit list if I can help it” he said, looking over quickly when Syd coughs from laughing so hard 

“Woah- arms up, arms up” he tells her and goes to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and coming back quickly, opening the cap and handing it to her. She took a large sip. 

“Thank you- sorry- fuck you Shayna you’re gonna kill us both I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh this hard” she said and Shayna smiled 

“Well, that’s a good thing. this guys got a problem with having the dead inside look- at least before you got here” she nudged Carm with her elbow. 

He realized he was still stood, hand protectively on the back of Syds chair looking down at her as if she was the only one in the room. 

“Isn’t that why we’re all here?” Jesse countered, sitting in the empty chair next to Shayna 

“I’m very alive inside- I just get too manic and start destroying my life because it’s something to do” she said and finished off her beer. “I’m already on probation cmon I need to go to my cabin and you aren’t allowed to have fun without me” she told Jesse, standing up and grabbing her bag and speaker. “Nice to meet you, Sydney. And Remember our chat hot stuff” she said as she put her bag on her shoulder. 

“Yeah- we’ll probably run into each other again, I leave Sunday night.” She said, and Carmen’s heart soars. 

He wasn’t sure why, he just thought maybe she’d just fly in for one night to see how he was and then leave the next day, but the fact she was staying a whole other day and a half- and they would be alone. 

“Sick! Okay well we’ll link up tomorrow then, have a goodnight guys - and remember wrap it before you tap it, shortstack!” Shayna said as her and Jesse shut the door behind them and head off. 

Carmen blushed pink, shaking his head. “She’s a hack, but she’s a very nice hack” Carm said, rubbing over his face embarrassedly. 

“They’re super cool Carm. She’s..really fuckin out there but-“ she shrugged looking at the clock. “Oh- shit. Fuck- it is late, I don’t want you to get in trouble” she said, standing up and grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. 

“You- you aren’t um…staying?” He asked and got up, grabbing her backpack she’d brought with her from the kitchen table and bringing it over. 

“Oh well all of my- stuff..” she trailed off, eyes locked on his. They stayed there silent for a moment, and his heart started pounding in his chest so hard he could feel it in his stomach. 

“Uh-“ he started and nervously bit the inside of his lip, he’d been doing that a lot tonight. He was holding his tongue, he always did around her. He didn’t understand it, because unless she was around it was like a part of his brain switched off, and he didn’t have access to speech in the same capacity as when she was near. 

“I- so…I think um- I-“ he stops himself, grabbing his shoulder nervously and averting her gaze. His throat suddenly felt tight, this was it. He either said something, or he let her leave and he stayed up all night thinking about what he should have said when she leaves. 

“Did you draw me?” Sydney asks suddenly. 

Carmen feels his stomach doing flips, his palms got sweaty and all of the color drained from his face. “I-“ he crossed his arm over his chest, tightly gripping his hoodie. He suddenly felt as if he could be sick, “I’m sorry?” It came out sounding like a question. 

Sydney felt insane “you- when-“ she smiled nervously “oh god- Jesus- I- it must be the-“

Carmen cut her off before she could say what would shut his entire course of action that he was trying to lay out down fully before he could attempt to put it into motion. “I meant- I meant I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. Syd. That’s how I meant it. I - you remind me of home.” He said, not breaking her gaze. “And I need a little bit of that, here.” He said softly. 

Syd just nods, holding on to the chair for stability. She wasn’t sure if this conversation was really happening or if she was in some insane dream. She could hardly believe Carmen was expressing himself to her, in a way other then anger or fear. 

“I..I draw you a lot.” He admits, running a nervous hand through his hair. “We do uh- art..art therapy. A few hours every day” 

“Can I…see them? If…if that’s okay?” She questioned. 

The color came back to Carmen’s face full force, he had to be sure whichever sketchbooks he would show her had none of the explicit themed drawings. “Uh- sure. Sure…gimme a sec- I’ll um” he headed to the bedroom, opening the desk drawer and grabbing the bigger sketchbook he usually took to art therapy, the safest one since the therapist would come and look at whatever the patients were working on.  

He quickly flicked through it to make sure, before heading back out to the living room where Syd had sat on the couch when he went to retrieve the sketchbook. “I’m- sorry…sorry if this is like. Weird-“ he said, feeling suddenly Insecure about his hobby that was the reprieve that got him through any of the sleepless nights he had here. 

“No- no its..it’s sweet Carm, can I?” She asked, grabbing the sketchbook in his lap, their hands brushing lightly. He felt that familiar fire in his chest, and nods with a hum of agreement. 

She opened it, eyebrows raising in surprise “they aren’t like-“ he started 

“This is incredible-“ she cut him off and leaned over him, turning on the lamp at his side to get a better look at the portrait he had committed to memory of her smiling. He nearly shivered when her curls brushed his cheek, the smell of the perfume on her neck mixed with the familiar scent of her causing goosebumps to appear over his flesh. 

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you remember the gap in my teeth so well. Because I know for a fact you aren’t on Instagram” she said. He smiled, rolling his eyes slightly 

“It’s one of your nicest qualities” he shrugged a bit. 

“Oh one of them? Are there many?” She smiled, flipping the page.

���I think the question should be if you have any flaws” he said, and her eyes flicked back to his. 

They were now sitting so close that their faces were less then a foot apart. “I think we both know that’s bullshit.” She said 

“To you maybe” his eyes flickered to her lips momentarily. 

“I always catch you doing that” she teased, smiling a bit. 

“Doing what?” He asked, his eyes meeting hers again. 

“I dunno…staring at me..like..” she looks at his lips for a long moment before meeting his gaze once again. 

“Why do you think?” He asked quietly. 

“There are alot of things I can’t seem to figure out about you…Carmy” she said just above a whisper. 

“Well what do you want to know. I’m uh…trying to be more open.” He said equally as soft. 

“Do you know why I really came here?” She asked 

“Because you saw the fuckin drawing, somehow.” He smiled a bit. 

“Yes” she chuckled “but- it just..it kinda confirmed something for me I dunno- I just wanted to come check if maybe-“ 

She’s interrupted by his lips on hers, she was surprised at first, but of course didn’t pull away. He cupped her cheek gently, his thumb rubbing over her supple skin. 

The way their lips moved together was natural, like they’d done this already a thousand times in a hundred lives. His nose gently nudges hers and she wraps her fingers in his dirty blonde curls, tugging gently how she’d fantasized so many times. 

He slid his tongue over her plump bottom lip, humming softly when she opened her mouth at the contact. His hands were nearly shaking. His entire body felt like it was exploding with tiny fireworks underneath his skin. 

The air between them both felt as if it was crackling with electricity. As if the universe was humming in approval that they had finally accepted their bond. 

Sydney had never felt anything so right. She felt as if every stress in her life evaporated, as if her and Carmy were the only 2 people in the world. She felt like she was glowing from the inside out.  “T’make sure I wanted t’do that…right?” He said softly when she pulled away. 

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋘ 𝐖𝐈𝐏 ♡♡♡ ⋙

[ablupen]

I Completed Lessons 1-10. Here's what happened, and the ending I got.

Alright! After about 15 hr 23 min total of F2P playing, I've completed all 10 lessons with all main stories/episodes watched. Granted, anything past lesson 4 isn't full S completed anymore, and I am very broke, but eh.

Anyways, here's some pictures of how it's going:

And now some more thoughts and summaries, including stuff I didn't say in my last post.

The boss levels are basically beating up the boys... Well, uh, if you're mad at one of the seven, go play their boss level, ig?

Solomon's cooking is so bad it caused Henry 1.0 to rapidly polymorph temporarily into random things

Henry 1.0 was originally huge. Levi befriended the snake when both of them were hiding from Satan

Henry 1.0 became regular snake sized bc Sol shrank him 😐 This means the shrink spell wore off, apparently.

The building that you and Sol share is called Cocytus Hall. I wonder where this building would be present day..? Did it get recycled?

Newly-demon brothers are being discriminated

Cerberus was obtained bc of a rumor that anyone who tames it becomes Ruler of the Underworld.

Mammon rallies everyone behind Luci's back to find and tame Cerberus

On the way there, we discover that we can still summon the brothers (We summon Beel to eat a magically growing pile of apples)

Apprehension attempt on Cerberus did not succeed. Luci saves everyone and tames Cerberus. Someone leaks these news and this is how the seven brothers become the seven rulers.

We become one of the three core founding members of RAD lmao

Somehow we get caught in a dream(?) with Levi in the TSL world. Levi does not know TSL at this point in time. Anyways, he summons Lotan at the end of it, who apparently actually appeared in real life, flooded the room, and then left.

Fuck i forgot when this happened so I'll just leave it here, but: Satan turned everyone except you and Lucifer into Chihuahuas. Including himself. Thankfully, the spell had a limit so it didn't last long

Angels enter the scene! For RAD consultation.

Apparently at some point the bottom of Asmo's bathtub becomes a portal.

Solomon is a fucking bastard and pushes everyone into the bathtub. You choose if you go in by your own will or if he also pushes you.

It leads to the Celestial Realm??? No lol jk, it's actually inside a very familiar looking labyrinth and y'all are being chased by a giant spider, fuck.

Solomon remakes pact with Asmo to distract spider.

Solomon then summons Barbatos

Unfortunately at some point he pissed Barbs off so he's ticked off by this summon. Barbs teleports the spider away and Sol uses his pact to force him to make a portal back home, but Barbs gets mad and later TELEPORTS HIM TO A DRAGON'S DEN LMAO

dw he's alright! He returns next lesson with a dragon egg.

Bad news! Diavolo and Barbatos realize you're human and not a demon after... What/when is this? 6-7 lessons? Yeah. Anyways, Dia tells you that you should pack up bc he's sending you back to the human world. You're another distraction, so to eliminate some stress, you're being deported, sorry. This is not a good thing.

Mammon and crew - except Luci obviously take on a ghost hunting job at the tome place idk I forgot the spelling

Mammon gets fucking possessed by a human ghost named Adam after you read his name off of a tomestone bc it was written in a human language.

Adam says that a demon killed him with consent many years ago bc Adam was trying to look for his lover but their dead

In case it wasn't obvious, that you.

Also, the demon knew you'd have the Ring of Light on you still. Anyways, Adam tells you that the demon's name/alias was Nightbringer. Guys, it's a fucking name drop!!!

You manage to open the gates for Adam by slurping up some of the brothers' powers and by the powers of the ring

Next day, you get a letter telling you to meet Dia concerning your expulsion, which Sol comes with you to try and change Dia's mind.

Suddenly, Belphegor basically kicks open the doors to demand that Beel be released. Apparently, he's been jailed. Shit, isn't that a parallel or what, huh?

Apparently, he suddenly got out of control and rampaged. Dia manages to pin him down and get him into a cell with sheer strength alone, but later escapes in the next lesson after you confront Luci and Belphegor who had a spat.

You, Luci, and Belphie get blamed for causing all of this 🥴 Especially by Barbs. Anyways, using your magic siphoning ability from your future pacts and the Ring of Light, you knock Beel out. Lesson 10 ends with you revealing that you're human and Dia and everyone wondering who tf you are to have this kind of power.

That was a lie. The very last scene was actually Satan and Simeon watching a cat that you introduced to Satan before you left with Luci and Belphie and discover the rampaging Beel. "Do you think MC will come back before the cat wakes up?" "I hope so."

Context for the quotes on the Nightbringer site:

Lucifer; "My pride hurt my brothers": I actually don't remember this one. I don't even know if my choices led up to this one. Will maybe revisit everything tomorrow or sum

Mammon; "We chose to follow Lucifer here. We all had reasons for doin' what we did.": This is from when Mammon is trying to convince the other brothers to join him in his search for Cerberus. He's tired of being discriminated, and doesn't regret his choice.

Leviathan; "I never wanted to come to this awful place, to begin with!": When Diavolo meets with the brothers concerning plans for RAD and about possibly making an announcement to show the brothers'presence, Levi is against this. He doesn't want the attention.

Satan; "I can barely stand being around them. It's torture.": Obviously, "them" are his "brothers". I can assume when he says this, but I think I can guess when it is. It was probably after he stormed off once the others discuss what the Celestial Realm was like. He's never seen that place, and he can't relate to the other brothers.

Asmodeus; "I want to return to the Celestial Realm...! I want to be an angel again! The way I used to be... White wings and all!": This is during the weird portal in the bathtub scene. He had tried to move on from the fall, but Simeon's appearance reminds him of what he lost again. He's scared of the fact that he's getting used to his demon self and that he's forgetting what it was like to be an angel.

Beelzebub; "I have a big secret that I've never been able to tell... Not even to Belphie.": I've actually never encountered this one bc I didn't get close to Beel. Has anyone seen this one?

Belphegor; "Who deserves to be punished the most?": After Lucifer temporarily admits defeat and doesn't stand up to Diavolo to let Beel go, Belphegor gets angry. He's scared that he'll lose another sibling. After telling you about Lilith and how stubborn she was, he admits that he doesn't know who to blame: Lilith for breaking the rules, the angels for directly killing her (or was this second one the other brothers for not doing more? I forgot damn), or himself for not protecting Lilith.

Anyways, that's all I can think of rn. Do note though that in Nightbringer, choices apparently actually matter so you may have gotten different results!

[t0ast-ghost]

okay get ready, strap in, we got a two parter. Time for my notes on episodes 12&13 (The Menagerie):

- I wonder if they’re really gonna put the men into menagerie

- I got whammied. They all appeared at once. Together.

- OMG PIKE

- the kuleshov effect doesn’t work to well in this situation

- Spock’s gonna betray them? Kirk believes that Spock can literally do no wrong

- Spock sneaking around is hilarious but again hiding in plain sight should not be an effective strategy

- UHURA! Yes!

- SPOCK! No!

- He’s so stressed, look MORE EMOTION

- where has Bones puttered off to- oh there he is

- Kirk devastated that his boyfriend could lie to him so he confides in his other boyfriend about it

- Bones sitting on surfaces compilation (12:35)

- “there’s a false entry that doesn’t jibe with the facts” jibe…

- Bones defending Spock my heart ughhhggg

- Why is Spock trying to get Doctor McCoy back on the enterprise??

- he yoinked the ship- he fuckin yoinked it

- uh oh McCoy is suspicious. “Follow Spock’s instructions to the letter” like hell he will

- Spock listening to “shuttlecraft is past point of safe return” and you can see him look like ‘god fucking dammit Jim’

- “I keep thinking who would be coming at us in a shuttle craft, and I keep coming up with the same answers” yeah it’s your idiot boyfriend, McCoy

- “for mutiny, doctor. I never received orders to take command” and that’s your second idiot boyfriend

- Bones is so worried, he doesn’t want Spock confined, he also doesn’t want to believe he’s been deceived by his friend

- Spock looks so ashamed and sad. He’s sad.

- “whatever he’s up to, he’s planned it well” no he hasn’t. I see his fear and panic. (Edit: this turned out to be somewhat untrue)

- wow that’s a good angle on those tapes. That’s so cool that they’re bringing back the pilot tho

- forgot this was how he chose to lay down to wait for his doctor

- wait wait wait so you expect me to believe aliens filmed this episode?

- so is Spock trying to send Pike to this planet so that he can live with Vina?

- *close up on Spock from episode one. Cut to the meeting room present day* Kirk: I’m so glad Bones bought you that eyeshadow, Mr. Spock

SECOND PART STARTS HERE - checkpoint

- considering how blue Pike’s eyes are it’s so funny how Chris Pine ended up playing Kirk and not a guy called Chris Pike…

- that’s kind of amazing how it almost seems like this is just apart of the episode (especially considering the fact that all the stuff in the original episode had so much world building. Like it really seemed like all the adventures were already normal.) like they made this past storyline as just another part of the episode.

- forgot how awesome number one was, kinda excited to watch strange new worlds now

- get sent to hell, dipshit

- I FORGOT ABOUT THE ‘bouinngg’ NOISE

- since they get to replay a whole damn episode I get to put in my favourite notes I made from watching this the first time

- WHAT THE COMMODORE WAS FAKE?!?

- the nod from the beings at the end is so like “yeah that sounded so good.”

- and they lived happily ever after

The end

Master post

(note to self: Pls draw Bones doing Spock’s makeup but like that one pic)

[patxhwrk]

Guys look i said id write stardew valley for sebastian but i have too much shane thoughts

he may be mentally ill but i am too

Also didnt have an jncorrect quote last night so have this instead

-ˋˏ✄— Uncoincidental

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ Shane x Reader

Pronouns: they/them

"Look in the mirror say, "What's up you useless fuck?""

.navigation. // .stardew valley masterlist.

CW!!

—past alcohol addiction

Shane felt so useless, staring at his reflection in his dark bedroom. The television screen was dark and so was his reflection. His eyebags were heavier, but at lease his stubble was shaved, right?

This was pathetic, he thought.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic—

He shook off his thoughts and instinctively reached for something on his desk. His hand made contact with the cold wood and he sighed. Bringing back his hand to his face, he dragged it down as if it would wake him.

Right, he thought and scoffed. No more drinking, dumbass.

He sat on his mattress with his thoughts. Laying down on the soft plush did not help them ease. He raised both hands to his head and covered his eyes as he groaned.

Sunday mornings were so lame. It had barely been ten am but his room was still so dark. At least this was better than Joja, maybe.

Shane was left alone with his thoughts racing and running and loud and loud and if he could only drink one beer—

A knock echoed from outside his room. A knock?

He groggily and hesitantly stood up, fighting the urge to stop by the kitchen for the single beer can that was left in the fridge. Maybe he should just grab it, not let it go to waste. It was just one, and it was so close. It wouldn't be too bad if—

He opened the front door of the ranch empty handed.

"Hullo," the farmer up the hill greeted him with a bright smile. And Shane smiled back. Because he would smile for the farmer any day that he found them standing in front of him. He'll smile for them whenever they showed up to lighten his mood.

"Y/n." He smiled and his shoulders slacked. His thoughts were moved on, the beer in the fridge a past afterthought. And then he realized. "What are you doing here so early?"

They stared at him confused. "Shane. It's five in the afternoon."

Shane glanced at the outside behind them where the sun slowly set and the sky started dimming. Maybe his room was dark because it was five. "Oh."

They shook their head and heartily laughed. "Anyways, I saw the sign you posted yesterday about needing a shad for something, so I decided to get you one since I was fishing anyways. I—uh—got distracted and forgot to give it to you yesterday and—"

Shane cut them off. "Hold on, did you go fishing out in the rain without a cover? Again?"

Mouth stretching across their face in a line, they looked away. "...Maybe."

Shane couldn't stop the soft smile growing in his face, but he sighed to cover it. He knew Y/n wouldn't be able to miss it, though. "Dumbass. Get in here."

They entered the warm ranch and sighed in relief, taking a seat in the kitchen and placing the basket—one which Shane only noticed now—on the table. There was a piece of cloth covering something inside, the fish atop it. "Thanks, it's so fucking cold outside."

"It's fall, Y/n."

"I know that!"

"And you're not wearing a coat."

"...I know that."

He sighed and shook his head. How could someone be so stupid and so—

He paused his thoughts to look for the right word, glancing towards the farmer smiling down at their basket of goods.

—cute.

He blushed red and moved towards the kitchen counter to hide it from them. "Want anything? Tea, coffee?"

"Oh, no need really! I just wanted to stop by and give these to you."

They passed him the basket and he gently moved the fish somewhere else. Lifting the cloth to peek underneath, his eyes widened at the sight. The basket was filled with hot peppers, plenty good quality he assumed.

"A lot grew last summer, so I decided to save some for you," they stated with a scratch to their warming cheek. "And I thought, since it's fall, why not restock your supply?"

Shane could marry them then and there, if he was more confident in himself.

"You are a fucking deity." He grinned bright and joyous and genuine. He then shook his head. "And no, you're not going out without at least warming up. Tea or coffee? Or maybe hot cocoa?"

Y/n sighed, smiling softly at Shane's back before choosing their drink. "Thank you, Shane."

He paused. The look over his shoulder towards them and a soft smile was enough to tell Y/n that he wasn't just talking about the shad on the counter, or the peppers in the basket, or for stopping by just as his thoughts were so near to bringing him a can of beer to his hand. "I should be thanking you, y'know?"

Y/n smiled. "I know."

—PATCHWRK !

[sandinthemachine]

Can I get the "I'm not scared but if you are you can hold my hand" with könig I need more of this ball of anxiety. Maybe watching a scary movie or everyone going through a haunted trail? Maybe he's scared of the anamatronic shows that are in the malls and doesn't wanna walk past them cause he saw 1 (one) FNAF video and thought it was real. Idk what one you use but I just need him being a big baby lmaoo

I have been trying to write this for a month so I kinda decided fuck it let's polish it best I can and post it now

The camel idea came from a farmer I know (sorry, buddy, it was too good not to steal), and the jello idea...uhh, congratulations, you know one (1) weird fact about me :/

enjoy!

Words: 1159ish

-

“I don’t get it, it’s just a ton of water.”

You gasp melodramatically, shaking your head. “König, you did not just call the ocean ‘a ton of water.’” You hold your fingers up to make exaggerated air quotes.

“That is what it is.”

You make a frustrated sound, flinging your arms up, only to be met by a chuckle. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

He bursts into a full-on laugh. “You should see your face when you get frustrated, it gets so cute and scrunchy.”

You squeeze your shoulders up, glowering, but he sees right through it, swinging an arm around them and pulling you into his side to kiss your hair. You bite your lips, trying to hide the growing smile, but he knows it’s there.

“Alright them,” he straightens up, clearing his throat and trying to school his face into something serious. “Let us go see what is so special about your ocean in particular.”

You smile. “Trust me, your mind will be blown. But you have to wait a bit. I need to swing by the barn first, I promised I’d check in on the calves this morning while the farm hands are busy with planting.”

You were overjoyed that König was finally getting to visit your hometown, but with his busy schedule the only time he could come see you was smack dab in the middle of planting season. Luckily you did mostly barn work, so with a healthy amount of convincing and only a little promised overtime your manager had decided to let you have your afternoons off. It was still early in the season, so there weren’t too many calves yet, and it shouldn’t take long at all before you could enjoy your first day of adventures with your partner.

“I could come help, you know. It would go much faster.”

“You would do that?”

He snorts. “Of course I would.”

You beam at him, wrapping him into a tight hug. “You’re the best,” you mumble into his chest.

“I know.”

You scoff, shoving him away with a laugh.

-

As you swing the barn door open, you’re greeted by a rumbling bellow that has you leaping backwards. “Holy shit, I completely forgot.” You turn to König, blushing a bit. “So it turns out we’re babysitting a camel right now for the next farm over. He’s really loud but he’s not that bad, I promise.”

König freezes. “No. No way.”

“What?”

“I don’t do camels.”

“What do you mean you don’t-”

“They are tall and weird.”

“So you two should get along perfectly.”

“This is no time for jokes!” König throws his forearms over his head and turns around.

You snort. “Is it the neck thing? Are you afraid of alpacas, too?”

“I am…” he pauses, letting out a rushed breath. “I am not afraid of camels.”

“Of course, of course. You’re not afraid of anything, big guy. But…you know, we could get this done faster if we split up, I’ll muck out the camel while you do the calves next door.”

“Uh-uh, no way I’m leaving you alone with a camel.”

You shake your head at him, breathing an exasperated sigh. “So what, then? You think you can go near him without having a heart attack?”

He glares at you, and you throw your hands up in surrender before turning and heading back into the barn. You hear his stomping footsteps follow you, but as soon as you go up to the camel’s stall, they freeze.

You pause, turning around to take in the sight of König. Tall and broad, a soldier through and through, easily one of the scariest people you know. And here he stands, arms crossed tightly over his chest, bottom lip puffed out. Pouting like a teenager.

You can’t help but giggle at that. “Come on, then.” You hold out your hand. “I’ll guard you with my life, I promise.”

He scoffs, turning to glare at the wall. “I don’t get scared,” he grumbles. “But…if you are, I’ll hold your hand.”

“Oh, I’m terrified.”

“Fine, then.”

-

Luckily it’s a day where the camel decides to be well-behaved. So an hour later the two of you recline on the beach, sweaty and smelling like the barn, laughing over ice cream. Well, you are. König finished his in two bites.

You glance up, eyes finding his. “So what gave you such strong feelings about camels anyway?”

He sighs, leaning back on his forearms. “It was a…what’s the word, those places where you go to touch all the animals and…”

“Oh! Petting zoo.”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Sooo…what happened at the petting zoo?”

He chews his lip, glancing down. “I was small…well, smaller, and I was feeding the animals. And I kept holding out the food to the camel, and then…” he chuckles, swiping a hand over his mouth, “every time it would try to eat I would jump back and laugh at it, and it made the silliest sounds.” He trails off, face going deadly serious. “And then it…spat…all over me, and my entire family laughed.”

You nod, chewing on your tongue. “Yeah, that’s…” you swallow, staring at your ice cream, “that sucks.” Your voice cracks and you bite your tongue, trying not to smile. “How old were you?”

“12.”

“WHAT?!” You cackle, slapping your palm over your mouth and falling back into the sand, shaking. “You…when you...when you said really little I thought you meant,” you guffaw, burying your face in your hands, “I thought you meant actually…”

“It’s not funny,” he says flatly, staring out to the ocean. “I am traumatized for life.”

You snort. “That’s what you get for being an asshole.”

His head snaps back towards you, but the side of his mouth is curling up slightly.

“Hey, it’s okay.” You sit up, patting his shoulder in mock camaraderie. “I’m afraid of jello.”

“The…food?” His eyebrows scrunch as you nod and he gives you a weird look.

“I mean it!” You grin. “When I was a kid I’d always have nightmares about drowning in jello, my mom couldn’t even take me through the jello aisle at the grocery store because I’d start crying.”

He stares at his knees, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

“I know you’re smiling.”

“I’m not.” He shakes his head emphatically, only for his shoulders to immediately shake with laughter.

You chuckle, joining him.

“You know,” he leans back again, grinning. “I’m gonna make you jello someday.”

“Please don’t.”

“I will.”

“I’ll bring a camel into the house if you do.”

He giggles. “Yes, go to the grocery store and buy a camel.”

“I have my ways.”

“I’m sure you do,” he scoffs, pulling you into his side. “I’ll make sure to watch out for stray camels.”

You snuggle into his shoulder. “Yeah, you’d better,” you yawn. “Better watch your back.”

“Always do.” He kisses your forehead, smiling as your eyes start to drift closed.

[ponyosmom35]

I remember you (Elliot x OC)

Elliot Alderson x Original Character

Synopsis: The reader was dating Elliot before he forgot who he was, she never left his side. and months later he remembers.

He clutches his head as memories flash through his eyes. 

There she was, standing in a dress, her hair was curled and she had a smile on her face as she opened the door to see who’d knocked. This woman, the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen in his life. All of the air is stolen from his lungs as he meets her eyes. Her aqua-colored eyes. After seeing the note she posted in the mail room about needing help with her computer, Elliot was curious. He surprised himself by responding to the ad and emailing her. Two days later he stood in front of her door, his heart beating out of his chest. His palms sweating. He’d never felt this way before.

“Hi, Elliot I assume?” she asks  

“Uh yeah” he responds awkwardly 

“I’m Willow, and I cannot thank you enough for answering! I tried taking it to a shop but they wanted to charge me $200, this was kinda my last resort” she explains 

“I’m happy to help”

“I hope you’re good, because I don’t know the first thing about computers” she says “come on in” 

Elliot follows her into her apartment, the layout the exact same as his. She’d decorated the place well, it looked like a home. She had tons of plants brightening up the space, as well as wall art covering every inch of space. A lot of color. He noticed her large bookshelf, a gorgeous color-coded collection. Her windows had sheer multicolored curtains which kept her entire apartment incredibly visible from onlookers. She had no tv and a large cat lying in the center of her bed. Her desk sat in front of the window just like his own, giving her a view of the apartments across the street. He wondered if they could see into her space just as well. The thought made him sick to his stomach. 

“Here it is” she says leading him over to the desk, her MacBook sits in the middle of the desk, perfectly aligned with the planner next to it. As soon as he laid eyes on it, he could tell that it was a simple fix. Five minutes max. A part of him felt disappointed that it wasn’t a large project to keep him in her apartment for hours. 

“I see what’s going on, its no problem” he says as he begins typing in a code

“Oh my gosh you are literally a lifesaver, I need this for work like seriously my entire life is on this dumb computer” 

“Fuck me” he curses 

“Elliot what’s wrong?” she asks 

“No I told you, dinner is on me as a thank you” she smiles as she sits across from him in the diner. “What sounds good?” she asks 

“I’m not sure” 

“Well I can recommend their garden burger, it’s one of the best I’ve ever had” 

“Garden burger?” he asks 

“Oh I’m a vegetarian by choice. I watched an animal cruelty doc in high school and now I’m scared for life”

“Okay, I’ll try it” he nods 

“Really? Nobody has ever actually listened to my recommendations before” she laughs 

“If I hate it then that means you’ll just have to take me out again” he says, smiling at her

“Deal” she smirks 

“you’re scaring me”

“How did you get into coding? It seems like such a niche skill” she asks as they walk down the street side by side. His jacket slid over her shoulders. 

“My dad taught me my first code, I taught myself the rest” he shrugs 

“Why?”

“I always found it to be interesting, the power of hacking into something and being able to see all of the secrets someone’s hiding. You can see exactly who someone is, no sugar coating no lies. You can always trust a code” he admits, shocked that he felt comfortable enough to actually say any of this out loud. 

“Have you ever hacked me?” she asks quietly 

“No” 

“Why not?”

“You’re different, not like the rest. You don’t rely on technology to survive. I wanted to know you” he says 

“I’m glad you responded to my ad Elliot” she smiles 

“Me too”

“Do you want me to call Darlene?” she asks 

Elliot stands to his feet and scrambles to his door to see who would be knocking at 9 pm. He looks through the peephole and there she was. He rips the door open and stares at her in concern. Before he could say a word she drops her head as her lips tremble. Tears fall down her cheeks and Elliot panics. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks

“My boss, he asked me to dinner tonight to discuss our big meeting on Friday. But he never even brought it up,  he told me that If I didn’t sleep with him then I would lose my job. I can’t afford to lose my job, Elliot! I love what I do, fuck I don’t know what I’m gonna do” she responds. His body is filled with rage as he takes in her words. 

“What did you say?” he asks 

“I told him I had to go and I ran straight here” she sniffles 

Elliot pulls her into his arms, holding her body close to his as he lets her cry. He clutches onto her hair, smoothing it gently. He’d never been comfortable with touch before, yet at the moment he’d met this girl he wanted to touch her skin, feel how soft it would be. He craved her like nothing before. 

“I’m gonna fix this, don’t worry” he promises as he places a kiss on her head. 

“Please say something!” she pleads 

Elliot had just gotten off of work. He hated his new job. A simple programmer, protecting Allsafe from any potential hacks. The simplicity of it was nice, yet he craved more. He was capable of so much more. He sets his bag down and sits on his couch. He was tired, after he’d spent the night talking to Willow’s boss, he hacked him and exposed him to the police for money laundering. He’d stolen millions. He closes his eyes to attempt to get some rest when a hand slams on the door, pounding angrily. He gets up and opens it to see WIllow. 

She pushes past him and walks into the center of his apartment and crosses her arms. “Did you hack my boss?” 

“Yes” he shrugs 

“He got arrested at work today, they said he was stealing money” she snaps, he does not respond and stares at her blankly. “You can’t just do things like this Elliot!”

“I was protecting you” he says, causing her to stare at him with an unknown emotion in her eyes. 

“Its not your job to protect me, you put yourself at risk” 

“I don’t make mistakes, and I don’t leave evidence behind” he says moving closer to her

“I can take care of myself” she says in a small voice as he stands mere inches from her. 

“I know you can”

“So why do this?”

“He made you upset, he tried to hurt you. He doesn’t t get to go free after that” 

“Why does that matter to you?” she asks

“Because you - you’re everything to me Will” 

“I - what?” she asks 

“I refuse to let anyone hurt you ever again” 

Elliot places a hand on her cheek and kisses her gently. She gasps in shock and melts into his hold. The touch of her skin against his makes him feel alive. This is what he’d been searching for his entire life. Peace washes over his anxious brain. All of the loneliness that consumed his nights melted away. This was it, this was everything. 

His eyes finally focus on her own, noticing the panic in her eyes as her tears threaten to spill. Two years’ worth of memories flooded him. All of the unconditional love and support she’d given him. The hours she held him while his body fought his anxiety. The way she would curl into his chest at night, tucking herself into him. Her loud laugh bounced off the walls of the apartment as she forced him to dance. He was happy, he was loved. And he’d forgotten her. Treated her horribly. She’d never said a word about who she was to him. Despite all of his words she stayed by his side. 

“I remember” he says simply 

“What?”

“I remember us” 

“Don’t fuck with me like that Elliot” she warns, stepping back. He reaches out and grips her arm out of instinct. 

“Your real name is Margaret, after your grandmother, but you go by your middle name” he says, watching as her tears fall. “You’re a Taurus and your favorite flowers are roses even though you’re allergic. You are my girlfriend, the woman I love. You are real”

“El?” she asks  

Elliot pulls her into a hug, holding her as though she may disappear any second. Willow breaks down into tears and cries into his shoulder. Her entire body shakes as she sobs. 

“Fuck I’m so sorry - I can’t even begin to apologize for what I’ve done” 

“It’s not your fault” 

“I left you”

“I knew something was wrong, it wasn’t you. I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me” she says as he wipes her tears 

“You knew?” 

“I wasn’t sure, but I knew that he wasn’t you. I’m just so glad that your back” she smiles

[multi-lefaiye]

the birth of a son - short story

oh my god i forgot to post this here. anyway this is the short story i wrote recently about my boy eden <3 this is a lil thing all about the first time he summons/creates his homunculus, eddie!

eddie is a physical manifestation of part of eden's soul, in the form of a little imp with sharp lil teeth. he's cute <3

this is based in the original campaign eden was created for and specifically mentions the other players towards the end!

anyway. uh. i feel a bit awkward tagging the whole art taglist for this one oops, so i'm just gonna tag some folks i think would be interested :'> (no pressure to any of you to read this <3) (if you'd rather i not tag you in stuff like this, pls let me know!)

@skitzo-kero @anexor @moonflowerrss @paradoxspir1t @albatris @invaderskoodge @vacantgodling @jezifster @kk7-rbs @corvus-rose

--

After slipping away from the rest of his ragtag little group at breakfast, it takes Eden around twenty minutes of searching before he finds a spot in the fairgrounds to practice his magic.

He’d thought it would be easier, but it seems that everywhere he turns, someone on the staff is there, taking up valuable space while they mingle and chatter. They all seem nice enough, sure, but the consistent lack of privacy has Eden’s skin prickling with unease.

Of course, in the back of Eden’s mind, he knows he hasn’t had true privacy in some time now. Perhaps he never will again.

(He absently flexes the fingers of his right hand at the thought, feeling white-hot sparks of energy crackle between them.)

But now is not the time to dwell on that.

Soon enough, Eden finds a place to hide, a small nook behind one of the larger tents. Separated from the outside by a thin, beaded curtain, it’s hardly much at first glance: just a low bench with red cushions, a single table, and a lantern bathing the space in a warm, flickering light.

This must be a place for performers to wait for their turn to go onstage. It’s decently comfortable-looking, after all, and just out of sight. Or perhaps it’s somewhere for crew members to take a break, sipping a drink away from the hot sun. Maybe it’s-

He’s getting off-track. Who fucking cares what it’s normally used for? It’ll do for his purposes, and that’s what matters.

Eden lets the curtain fall closed behind him and takes a seat on the bench, ignoring the twinge of pain in his knees as he sinks down. The cushion is thick and comfortable, sinking only slightly under his weight as he gets settled. It almost makes him uneasy for reasons he doesn’t know how to articulate, but he chooses to put that out of his mind. That’s not important.

What’s important is the gem hidden in his pocket, a glimmering black opal. It’s small, only a little bigger than a marble, but it’s worth more than its weight in gold. If he were so inclined, he could sell this marble and, presumably, live comfortably for decades to come.

(At least, that was what that ringmaster fuck had told him when Eden had explained what he needs for this spell. He isn’t sure how much he trusts that fucking freak’s assurances on anything, but that’s not the point. Like the room and the strangely disquieting bench, the marble will work for what Eden needs.)

Eden takes the marble out, staring down at it as he rubs it lightly with one clawed finger. At first glance, the gem’s surface is smooth and inky black, but as he stares closer he sees flecks of other colors hidden in the darkness. Shining yellows, vibrant greens, burning reds, icy blues, and dozens more all swirling together. It’s beautiful, Eden supposes, but he’s never been a particularly good judge of that sort of thing. It almost reminds him of-

The thought dies a swift death before it can finish forming. He needs to stop stalling and letting his mind wander. He has work to do.

With that in mind, Eden holds up the opal, allowing it to catch the light from the lantern, and closes his eyes. Then, in a low voice, he begins to speak, the long-forgotten words falling off his tongue with practiced ease.

“Ex hac gemmā, nāscere, homuncule.”

As he speaks, he feels the gem grow warm between his fingers, vibrating as each word washes over it. All at once, the air in the alcove seems to warm by several degrees, the air around Eden’s head swirling and churning with potential. Eden’s breath slows, and he opens his hand, allowing the opal to float slowly upward. He says the words again.

“Ex hac gemmā, nāscere, homuncule.”

There’s a loud crackle in the air, deafening in the otherwise silent space, and something deep inside Eden’s chest aches. His heart is pounding behind his ribs, a trapped bird desperately trying to escape its cage, and for one brief, hysterical moment, he fears it’s going to burst. But rather than frighten him, the knowledge only sends a thrill through him. And he says the words again, one more time.

“Ex hac gemmā, nāscere, homuncule!”

As he says the words one final time, his eyes fly open, glowing white, and watches as the gem pops. He feels a burst of agonizing, searing pain in his gut, strong enough to make him double over and bite back a shout, as the opal shatters in a shower of white and gold sparks. The flame in the lantern snuffs itself out, plunging the little nook in darkness, and all at once the air is still, silent, and cold.

Eden lets out a shaky breath. The pain is beginning to fade, but he rubs his abdomen for a moment nonetheless. It’s never hurt that much to perform this spell before, but he chalks that up to how long it’s been. After all, he last summoned the creature when he was still in university, finishing his doctorate.

“Doc?”

Eden lifts his head, eyes wide as he stares at the little creature sitting on the table before him. It’s small, just enough to fit in the palm of his hand, and looking up at him with its head tilted to the side. He can’t discern its features in the darkness, though, and that just won’t do. Almost unconsciously, Eden lifts a hand and snaps his fingers at the lantern, willing it to light again as he casts produce flame. It does so with a flash of gold, and once again the room is bathed in low, warm light. Despite that, it feels strangely cold.

He hardly notices, though, instead turning his attention to fully regard the creature looking up at him--his homunculus.

The homunculus looks different from how he remembers him, but at first it takes a moment for Eden to figure out what’s wrong. He looks mostly the same. Small, bipedal, with hind legs like a rat. Two nubby horns. Pointed ears. Mop of curly golden hair, hanging just past his tiny shoulders. Bat-like wings, connected to his forelimbs the same way. Sharp claws. Round, humanoid facial features. Short tail. Fluffy-

It’s then that it strikes Eden what’s wrong. The homunculus is covered in a fine layer of lavender fur, only broken up by patches of scales on his face and legs. That’s new.

The homunculus blinks at him, then smirks wryly as he tilts his head to the other side, like a puppy. “What’s wrong, Doc?” he asks, his voice just as high-pitched as Eden remembers. “You forget how to talk?”

He’s just as rude as Eden remembers, at least, and the realization is such a relief that he laughs, a wide grin spreading across his face.

“No,” he says, “I was just making sure you didn’t come out dangerously deformed this time. You’re no use to me if you die after five minutes.” The homunculus scoffs, offended.

“I’ll have you know, any problems in my physical form are your fault, as the alchemist in this situation,” he says matter-of-factly. “You should know that, Doc. That’s the first thing they teach you at that stupid magic college. Or did you lose your fuckin’ brain cells when you graduated?”

“I can send you right back,” Eden reminds him, reaching out to flick the little creature. “Don’t sass me, brat.” It’s an empty threat, and it seems they both know it, if the way the homunculus’ eyes light up are any indication.

“Yes, yes, go ahead!” he squeaks, flapping his wings as he swats at Eden’s hand. He seems to be balancing well, not swaying even slightly as he bats at Eden. “Waste the precious resources you used to summon me!” Eden reaches around to poke at the homunculus’ back, grinning at the indignant squeal he receives in response.

“Motor skills look good so far,” Eden hums thoughtfully. “And, clearly, not existing for 634 years hasn’t done anything to your cognitive ability.”

“Why would it have?” the homunculus drawls. “You look like you’re doing fine.” If he’s surprised to hear how long it’s been since he was last summoned, it doesn’t show on his face.

“Fair point,” Eden agrees. He knows the homunculus is created from the essence of his very soul, so perhaps it isn’t too surprising that the little freak is doing just fine. After all, occasional aches and pains aside, Eden’s been remarkably unaffected by his own resurrection. Though… if the creature came from his soul, is that why it’s covered in fur this time?

Perhaps the curse has more of a grip on me than I thought.

It’s a disquieting realization, but Eden puts it to the side for now. He has more pressing concerns, like catching up with the homunculus.

“Things have changed since you were last here,” he begins, reaching out one hand. The homunculus has the audacity to look offended, rolling his eyes as he climbs onto Eden’s outstretched palm.

“No shit,” he says. “For one thing, you look--and smell--a lot more like a corpse than usual. When’s the last time you took a shower?” Despite his grumbling, the homunculus gladly clambers up Eden’s arm, digging in his tiny claws to keep his balance, before settling on the tiefling’s shoulder. “And when’s the last time you got a good night’s sleep?”

“Fuck you, I’m perfectly fine.” Eden flicks the creature’s nose, smiling as the homunculus nips his fingers in response. The creature’s teeth are sharp, but far too small to cause any more pain than a slight prickling sensation. It reminds Eden of a teething puppy.

“Anyway,” Eden continues, “that’s not the point. I’ve been… traveling, let’s say, so you’re gonna have to get used to that while you’re sticking around.” He can’t imagine that’s going to be a problem--the homunculus is a notoriously adaptable creature. Really, all the creature needs is food to eat, a place to sleep, the chance to relieve himself on occasion, and the presence of his creator.

“Eh,” the homunculus says, “that’s okay. Didn’t think you were the adventuring type, but whatever.” He’s making himself comfortable on Eden’s shoulder, curling his tail around himself. “That why you smell bad?”

“I don’t smell bad,” Eden says. He moves on before the creature can protest, shifting his stature automatically to account for the additional weight on his shoulder. His joints ache at the movement, but he ignores them. “Anyway, I’ve also been doing a lot of fighting. There’s a lot of things that want me dead, turns out, and we both know that you aren’t built to handle a situation like that.”

“I could be,” the homunculus offers. “I could bite the shit out of someone. I could kill them. I could disembowel them with my powerful fangs-”

“You couldn’t bite through the skin of an apple without help,” Eden tells him. “Stop lying.” In response, the homunculus bites his neck, only serving to prove Eden’s point as the action prompts nothing more than a snort. “You’re not helping your case here.”

“I hate you,” the homunculus grumbles. “You’re the meanest alchemist alive, Doc.” He settles down on Eden’s shoulder, curling up like a little kitten. “You’re so mean to me, your only son.”

“That I am,” Eden agrees, ignoring the way something in his chest flutters at the homunculus referring to himself as Eden’s son. He’ll have to remind him not to do that. “Anyway, we’ll have to figure out a plan to keep you out of the fray the next time a fight happens, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” The homunculus hums in agreement. It seems the creature’s initial burst of energy is waning, and now it seems to be growing tired.

“Anything else, Doc?” the homunculus asks. “Or can I take a nap? Being born is very tiring, you know.” Eden hesitates briefly before he answers.

“Well,” he says, “I’m traveling with some new… friends. I should give you a primer on them before you meet them, so you don’t embarrass both of us.” The homunculus lifts his head to shoot Eden a dirty glare. Before the creature can protest, though, Eden continues. “Look, I can already tell some of them are going to adore you, you annoying shithead, but the other ones would probably gladly swat you like a fly if you get too close.” At that, the homunculus’ eyes widen in unease.

“You have bad taste in friends, if they’d kill a piece of you that quickly,” the homunculus tells him gravely. It’s Eden’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Stop being dramatic,” he warns the creature. “I just mean that you’re an annoying little gnat. If any of them wanted to smack you for it, I probably wouldn’t be able to stop them.” That doesn’t seem to offer the creature any comfort, but he nods.

“Okay,” the homunculus says. “Alright. Tell me about them. I need to know which ones to avoid.”

And so he does. He starts from the beginning, telling the homunculus about each new ally in order of meeting them.

Pevier, the gentle aasimar. Naive at times, sometimes frustratingly so, but full of a genuine desire to help and do good that Eden can’t help but admire. At times, Eden believes Pevier doesn’t deserve to be here, but he supposes that just speaks to the cruelty of the world they’re in. It may be impossible to do forever, considering the threats they face, but Eden wants to protect that naivete, if he can.

Hyndrol, the sharp-witted elf. Clever and quick on her feet and with her words, trading barbs with Eden with an ease that makes him feel remarkably at home just as much as it drives him up the wall. He can tell she has her secrets, but he can’t exactly begrudge her that, all things considered (after all, they’re all hiding one thing or another). She’s loyal to the end when it matters, for better or for worse, and he respects that.

Barley, the cursed tabaxi. Unlike anything Eden has ever seen in his life, with a charming smile and a ferocity boiling just beneath the surface that has him deeply curious. Eden genuinely cares about what Barley thinks of him, much more than he has with anyone in a long time, and the realization makes him deeply uncomfortable. He can’t quite escape the feeling that he’s not measuring up, no matter how hard he tries.

Strata, the powerful dragonborn. Tall and brutal, overwhelming in her strength and awe-inspiring to see in action, and remarkably intimidating even when relaxed. Eden normally wouldn’t put much thought into the feelings of someone he’s known for such a short amount of time, but he can only imagine how strange this all is for her, a literal fish out of water in a world that thinks her kind is extinct. He admires her strength, physically and otherwise, but he’s sure the feeling isn’t mutual. No matter. As long as Strata stays with the group, Eden can accept her disdain.

And, finally, James, the mysterious elf, the newcomer. Dark and intriguing, cloaked in shadow despite his generally friendly demeanor. Eden still isn’t completely sure what possessed him to approach the stranger with the offer of joining them at the circus, aside from sheer impulsiveness and a need for someone to want him around, but here he is nonetheless. He seems decent enough, but… well. Time will tell how poor that decision turns out to be, Eden supposes, but if nothing else, he seems like a good ally for now.

Predictably, most of the nuances of Eden’s relationships with his new friends go over the homunculus’ head. All the creature cares about, of course, is how easily he’ll be able to convince each of them to pat his head and give him apple slices.

“You’ll get to meet them soon enough,” Eden sighs. Absently, he lifts one hand to stroke the creature’s back, smiling despite himself at the ragged little purr he receives in response. “And you can get started on your diabolical scheming to kill me in my sleep and take my place.”

“Sounds like a plan!” the homunculus chirps, nuzzling his hand. “Give it a week! They’ll like me better in no time.” He then yawns. “But… wanna sleep right now. We can meet ‘em later.” He closes his eyes, making himself cozy, and then reconsiders after a moment, opening one eye to look at Eden curiously. “... No. Sleep now. Then food. Then friends. I haven’t eaten in 600 years.”

“You haven’t existed in 600 years,” Eden points out. “You haven’t had a stomach to feed.” The only response he receives is a quiet little snore, and he huffs a sigh, rolling his eyes fondly. Still, he settles back into the bench, letting the creature snooze on his shoulder.

He can find everyone again later. For now, he can just enjoy some peace and quiet with his creation.

[the-royal-bat-snake]

Oh yeah I guess I kinda forgot to make this announcement ever.

I'm not really gonna be on tumblr anymore? I know that looks unsure and it's because I am.

I've been here, in mcytblr, since 2019. I was here for all the major dramas, I survived all of our mass extinction events, so it's weird to me to just leave. And I'm not really, tumblr sends me emails when people @ me and I always check those, so if people need me I'll be available. Also a lot of you have my Discord, and if you want it for some reason you can just message me I'm not really hiding.

But I'm leaving because genuinely I was stressing myself out. I am very big about managing notifications and looking at every single one, which was fine when I only followed 20 blogs. I follow 100 blogs and I have notifications on for over half of them. That is not sustainable and every time I got behind I was worried I was missing something. I got so caught up in being one of the last blogs remaining from several burned corpses of fandom spaces that I lost the fact that that Doesn't Fucking Matter. I'm just a guy. I don't need to know what’s happening all the time here. It's not important.

I got a new phone recently and it didn't automatically log into tumblr for me. I didn't realize for a few days honestly, which really proves I was getting worked up over nothing. So I just. Never logged in. I planned to make a post on my laptop. Never did that either. Only logged in because Elvie said they were deleting art from a blog and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything in the past few months. Only opened today because tumblr sent me an email about someone following me and decided to check Elvie's blog to see how they were doing.

I mean this in the nicest way possible to myself: I don't matter here. Nothing is going to implode because I decided not to log on unless someone needs me for something, or they just wanna show me a cool bat.

I think making posts about leaving websites is a bit dramatic, especially since I'm not really leaving and I might try and come back in like 2 months knowing me. But I have made friends here, and even if we don't talk often or at all I do want it to be clear what happened and that y'all can contact me for anything.

Feel free to @ me for anything or dm me for anything (also would have to @ me on a random post because I don't get emails for that and I turned off all notifications otherwise)

Uh. All that being said I still love Don't stop the party compilations so @ me on any of those you see

Not a goodbye but a see you around

[bruggle]

More drabbles as my brain works on everything except chapter 2 lmfao

"Oh yeah, Axl mentioned something about you picking up a kid in America," Marino mused. "How'd that happen?" X gave a wry smile. "You would not believe me," he sighed. Marino quirked a brow at that. "Try me," she smirked. "We've met before," Brook interrupted. "Marino, right? And Cinnamon?" Both female reploids turned to her. "Wait, what?" Marino exclaimed. "I don't... what?" Cinnamon, on the other hand, gave Brook a scrutinizing look before her face lit up. "Minnow?" she squeaked excitedly. Brook let out an awkward chuckle as she nodded. "You're kidding," Marino deadpanned. "Afriad not," X exasperated. "No shit," the green haired reploid chuckled. "How'd you manage to pull that off, kid?"

"Very carefully," Brook grinned. Marino let out a laugh at that. "Oh, Massimo is going to be so pissed," she jeered. X quirked a brow. "And why is that?" he asked. "He bet good zenny on Minnow being a Maverick," she said, causing X to roll his eyes. "But damn, her being human? That never even crossed my mind."

"I told you she wasn't a Maverick," Cinnamon boasted as Marino shook her head.

And an elf war blurb because I forgot to post it a while back

There wasn't any way to hide her hand from sight. At least, no way that wouldn't immediately raise suspicions. Gloves were out of the question. She didn't normally wear them; so if she came in with a pair, Brook knew she would be bombarded with questions. No, her only option was to try and keep it in her pocket. And if that didn't work, then she would have to come up with a lie. Luckily, she had already decided on one. She just hoped she wouldn't have to use it.

"Brook, what happened to your hand?"

Fuck.

Brook turned around to see X making his way towards her, a worried look on his face. How had he noticed it so quickly?! She almost wished she hadn't turned back. She could have used the excuse that she hadn't heard him. As X reached her, he gently grabbed her right hand. "Seriously, Brook, what happened?" he demanded. "I uh... I accidentally slammed it in a drawer," Brook sheepishly answered. "What?" X exclaimed. "Yeah, I was trying to grab some silverware out of the drawer," she explained. "Forgot where my hand was when I closed it." X gave her a disbelieving look. "You... forgot," he echoed. Brook shrugged. "I've done dumber things," she argued.

Sighing, X started to take a closer look at the bruise. Panicking, Brook tried pulling her hand out of his grasp. "It's fine, X," she insisted. "Just a little sore." X gave her a hard look, holding steady onto her wrist. "Brook, that's not just some little accident," he argued. "How did you manage to bruise it this badly?" He was right. It was a really nasty bruise. Almost entirely black with edges of purple and yellow in the shape of a hand, it was definitely not a pretty sight. "I was really mad at the toaster," Brook deadpanned. That was only a half lie. She had indeed been really mad at Omega. X sighed yet again but released his hold on her hand. "Please be more careful," he told her, a look of concern on his face. Guilt tore at Brook. She hated lying to him about this, but she didn't know what else to do.

"I will," she promised. And she would. Brook was going to stay as far as humanly possible from Omega. She wanted nothing to do with the prick. The sooner Weil showed his cards, the better. Then, they could actually start fixing all of this mess.

[thateldribitch]

A Red Sky's Interlude

Chapter Two: Local Lure

TW: Horror, Yandere (and everything that comes with it), mostly implied gore and murder. (For once lol.)

Totally forgot to post this chapter here; here's the link to the AO3!

Truth be told, Floyd hates towns like these.

Kitschy little tourist traps with a thousand neon items and a thousand different stores with those same items. Houses in absurdly tropical colors that look good nowhere else —lime green and tangerine orange, cyan and banana yellow. Ugh. Beaches and bitches and weirdly rude, weirdly… entertaining magicians. Scammers. Tourists. But Shrimpy took them to a hole-in-the-wall, local little place. Ugh, taking Shrimpy on land is anxiety-inducing enough. They have a safe cove, good food, strong mates. What more could they ask for? Cold. Fries. Yeah, of course it’d be cold ass french fries—but then again, he craves stuff from home sometimes. And he can’t judge them too much. Dive bars always have the best fries; they’re not just stopping for carnival food or something. This shit’s actually good. 

Not as great as they could be, of course. He pops one in his mouth, rolls it around on his tongue. Mashing it between the points of his teeth, he nods after a moment. Yeah, he should make them french fries. Doesn’t fit Azul’s ‘adjustment to the water’ plan , but clearly that shit isn’t working. He can make better french fries, obviously.

Floyd’s claws dance to the tune of his trepidation. Shrimpy’s taking too damn long. He needs to check. Are they okay? Were the fries bad? He’ll fucking kill the line cook if they were bad…. But there’s a clatter in the bathroom. A distinct click.

His eyes slither to Jade’s, finding his mirror looking right back at him. Gold-olive eyes hood in amusement, a sharp flash of a smirk. Such a sneaky little shrimp. Should they let them wander a little? Get it out of their system? Aw, but what would they do for, like, twenty minutes? Well, he did see their eyes linger on a few of the colorful stalls on the way in…. 

So what does Floyd get out of this little runaway act? A few brightly colored, stupid little knick knacks. He hates the little snowglobes and the best knit ‘save the turtle’ he found in each store is horrifically mutated. But the idea of his Shrimpy smiling at these makes him grin like an idiot. He even has to pull a Jade and hide his teeth behind his hand. He’s already distinct enough. He doesn’t need people getting wind of merfolk in the area. 

“You look like me with bad posture,” Jade rolls his eyes, hiding his smirk behind a hand.

“You look like me with a resting bitch face,” Floyd smacks at Jade’s shoulder with a goofily colorful sign. It’s wooden; a solid knock off. The brothers lock eyes, a brief spark of a potential tousle. But they both decide to save it for later. That being said, Jade steps just centimeters in Floyd’s way; Floyd keeps bumping their shoulders too close as they walk. The little spites make up for the fact that they both know a straight-up brawl would bother their Shrimpy. 

He’ll just hog Azul later. That’ll teach his preppy ass of a brother. 

“No it won’t.”

“Bitch—”

He kicks his ankle. Jade dodges and does his weird polite giggle. Fuckin’ weirdo. Same face, different brain— yeah bitch, get insulted. His brother’s annoyed brow twitch makes him snicker, feeling a slight rush of joy as he sees a human jolt at the sight. Then his joy turns a little more genuine as he looks at the souvenirs again. Just little silly island things. Shrimpy will like it.

“You are such a dork,” Jade sighs.

“Uh, I can’t hear you over the mushrooms in your ears,” Floyd sneers.

“We’ve probably spent enough time away for them to calm down—”

“Don’t change the conversation, Prick.” And yet he falls into step anyway. Much as he’d like to dick-kick his brother, Shrimpy’s the most important. That cute little smile. When their cheeks get all pink and dimply. Hehe, so cute. His smile turns a touch more intense, the whites of his teeth contrasting with the pleased heat of his blush.

Twenty minutes are up.

Ready or not.

“...They’re not as close as I thought they’d be,” Jade’s voice cuts through the pretty picture of Shrimpy’s smile. Floyd feels the hairs rise on the back of his neck. 

“Shit, I didn’t think they’d be that bold,”  Floyd’s lips tug down into a panicked frown. “We miscalculated.”

“You think, brother fucking dearest?” Jade lands a kick on his ass. That’s fair. Vengeance later, shrimp hunt now. Being on land is no different from when they’re underwater. They move as one. Drifting apart, but always within eye shot. Less suspicious if two big guys aren’t seen together in the water. Easier to approach prey. Carefully zipping through crowds, looking for any fond trace of their newest. Smallest. Cutest. Floyd won’t even be mad. He hopes he catches their smile. A sneaky little grin, at having evaded them. They haven’t done that in a while. He wants to see it again. 

Please let them be okay.

Please please please let them be okay.

But then, if they get hurt…. No, that’s unacceptable. Not on their watch. Never on their watch . Jade nods shortly. Floyd follows after him. Can’t be that hard. Just harder than expected. What a good, sneaky shrimp, that’s a good undersea skill, he’ll have to tell them later. His heart pounds.

Fuck, fuck, fuck , where are they?

Floyd’s eyes dart through the streets, teeth gritting a bit tighter every time he doesn’t catch a familiar flash of their Shrimpy. A bead necklace they liked from Azul. A particular birthmark on their neck. Nope, nope, nope— none of these are his shrimpy, none of them have that sweet smell, that blend of him and Azul and Jade and it’s too weak anyway. They’re not even marked.

Not that they’d even consider asking them yet.

But his teeth itch.

A red scarf. A set of cracked glasses. The limp of one woman, the strut of a man, the gait of a person loping their way into a bakery to order a sweet. Not his shrimp, not his shrimp, not our shrimp . He clicks his teeth together. Jade clicks his. Okay. No sight of them. Shit. Jade taps his elbow; Floyd lightly checks his shoulder into his. They’ll find them. They’re good hunters. Shrimpy’s fine; they’re stretching their legs, they’re fine, they’re fine. What if they’re not?

The thought burrows into his skin like a bobbit worm. Spines claw through his veins, scratching at them and setting an itch to his skin. The teeth snap at his ankles, driving him to walk faster, look harder— a scent. Sweet. Jade-Floyd-Azul-Shrimpy. The musk of their cave. A tiny hint of perfume. Shrimpy . His mirror pauses, catches the scent as well. Oh thank fuck, they’re close by. That’s fresh. A very, very fresh scent. Okay, okay, okay. Shrimpy’s not in the best part of town. Shit, he wished they’d gone into the thousand-replica stores. Bright colors and a goofy smile. Not this. But Shrimpy’s fine. They’re fine, they’re fine. Shrimpy. The unspoken nickname catches in his throat, chokes him as he hurries along the trail. Get the Shrimp, protect our Shrimp, my Shrimp, my Shrimp.

They’re close and he’ll get them and hold them and who the fuck is that?

Doesn’t matter. He’s going for Shrimpy; Jade’s got the bastard. One, two—Jade yanks the guy away; Floyd steps in to hold their little mate. A relieved, dry sob escapes him, more akin to a wheeze after a punch. He needs to make them better. They’re scared, so scared. Small in his arms. Small. Small sobs…. His heart aches and he squeezes them closer, face burying over their throat. Floyd’s only half aware that he’s flipping between babbling reassurances and trying to see how aware they are.

He gets closer and takes a big whiff near their mouth—and he can taste it. Big sparks of pleasure-pain-panic spike through their sweet scent, bursting into an intoxicating ichor that burns like bile in his throat. Something in their drink . They said someone put something in their drink. The worst kind of thing in their drink. Poison isn’t as cruel, and no other drug can be quite so painful as the panic in his littlest lover’s eyes. 

His teeth part before he clicks them shut, and he squeezes Shrimpy closer. Jade’s got that asshole’s… remains; he’s got their Shrimp. Their poor, hot little shrimp. Squirming in such pathetic terror in his arms, as he achingly clutches them close. 

If things were simpler, he’d take them home and curl them into a soft bed. They’d all take care of their smallest, their newest, their cutest. Reassure their Shrimp in all the best and proper ways. Show them that he’ll keep them safe; that all their mates would. But they don’t ask. All he can do is hold them tight and get them home. He buries them in his arms as they swim, still tasting it. Still tasting that awful, bitter alcohol— fuck, they let this happen. He can’t make up for the fact they let this happen. His heart hurts. And he wants to tear someone’s throat out.

Things aren’t simple.

And it fucking sucks .

Fun fact, based a lot of the locale on a vacation to Florida I took.

[americas1suiteheart]

Heres a little year old pilot chapter from my wattpad to give some writing content while I finish some of the other stuff. It has a few chapters done as well so I'll post those after too.

<?>Obsessed With You

[Riddler 2022 x Cop! Reader]

[Summary; The reader is a GCPD officer who became infatuated with Edward after getting assigned to investigate and try to find out who the riddler was.]

[Notes; Really short, the reader is gender neutral though so anyone can read it.]

[Warnings; none really, unless you're gonna be bothered by the fact that the reader is a cop and other cops are mentioned.]

Next chapter>

I watched him from my window sitting in that little diner, having a cup of coffee and a slice of pumpkin pie. Oh how I wanted to approach him and talk to him, only if it was a simple hello, or just eye contact. I just wanted him to acknowledge my existence. To know who I was.

I only knew who he was under the mask due to the fact that I had watched him in his own apartment, I was desperate to know what he looked like. He really didn't look like the type of person to be the Riddler.

Dirty blonde hair, clear frame glasses, round face and green eyes. To any normal person, he looked like another ordinary person trying to make it through life in Gotham.

I worked with the GCPD and after the Mayor's and Commissioner's murder and was told to try and look for him. But after my Co-workers had seen how deeply I was looking into this guy, they told me to put the case aside and have a break because I had gotten little to no sleep. But I didn't want to take a break. Everyone was telling me I was getting obsessive about the case, it's not like that though. I'm only doing my job, right

If I were doing my job I would've already turned him in. I didn't want to turn him in though. I wanted to keep watching him.

Maybe I had become somewhat obsessed but whats so wrong about that?

"Fuck it." I say to no one in particular other than myself. Why not? Your only going there to talk, get a name, and then do a little more research for GCPD. You knew that wouldn't be the case but you didn't care. Why should you?

You walk into the almost empty diner, only two other people apart from him are in there. You take a seat two seats way from him and place the book that was in your hands on the table and begin reading while you wait for someone to take your order. He didn't seem to acknowledge you, he seemed focused on something else. He was writing paragraphs into a small journal.

"Hello, what can I get'cha?" The waitress asks.

"Oh um, just a black coffee and slice of pumpkin pie please." You see the waitress scribble in the little notepad.

"Oh yeah, also the coffee is free for you." she says walking away. 'Free coffee? Why?' I think to myself.

"Cops get free coffee if your wondering. Have you never gone to a Cafe and gotten free coffee?" A voice says. You turn your head to see that the one who spoke to you, was in fact him.

"Pardon?" You say, confusion laced in your voice.

"You are with GCPD right? I mean unless you stole that jacket from someone." He says, touching your jacket.

You look down to see where his finger was and it indeed was where the patch that had the letters GCPD on it is. 'Shit...', You had apparently forgotten to take your jacket off before leaving.

"O-oh. Uh, sorry that's quite embarrassing. I guess I forgot to take it off after shift." You say with a small chuckle, trying to hide your embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it, tends to happen to someone when they're tired. Speaking of which, you look as if you haven't slept in a few days. Case got you staying up?" He asks, going back to writing inside his notebook.

"Oh yeah definitely. That riddler guy is making me overwork myself, I haven't been getting much sleep at all." I say.

"Oh, I know how that feels. I used to work in forensics so I know just how hard some cases can be. You see things that'll keep you up for days sometimes." He says.

After that small conversation, he finished up what he was doing and left. You were there because you wanted to approach and talk to him, so after he left, you had nothing else to do so you finished up what you ordered, paid, and left the diner.

Once you arrived at your apartment you thought about the conversation you had with Edward and smiled to yourself, excited over the fact that he noticed and even talked to you.

'He's mine, he just doesn't know it yet...'

---------------------------------------

Did I forget to mention the fact that this is really bad? Yeah kinda, but this is basically me filling in the large writing gap that will happen until I'm able to finish one of the requests.

Send in your requests for stories! Look at my introduction to see if anything you like is something I'll write, and DM me for further questions!

[sillylittlejesterman]

Making a Cake

I FORGOT TO POST THIS FOR SIRIUS' BIRTHDAY BUT HERE IT IS (its also on ao3) Just a little silly story that was written very quickly for my favorite wet dog homosexual man's birthday. I love him.

“Uh Remus? I don’t think it’s supposed to look like that,” Peter said, eyeing the gloopy, sludge-like thing in the baking dish. 

“Is–... Is it moving?” James asked. The three boys standing over the tray with what was supposed to be Sirius’ birthday cake in the center. They all startled away when a bubble in the dish popped, making a loud noise. Remus plopped the tray down on the stove top and took his red and white oven mitts off, slapping them on the table while frowning. 

“This makes no sense. We did everything, didn’t we?” He pushed a bunch of empty pans and dirty rags around until he found the badly scribbled out recipe on a now batter-stained piece of parchment. 

“You know, it would probably help if we could actually read the recipe,” James pointed out, snatching the parchment out of Remus’ hands and dangling it in front of his face. Remus frowned in response. “This whole thing is in French. Can’t you find it in English or something?” James continued. 

“Maybe we should just ask Regulus,” Peter mumbled, not really planning for anyone to hear him. He knew Sirius and Regulus’ relationship was complicated to say the least, but he was the only other person that Peter knew who spoke French. 

“No! No it’s fine, it’s not that hard to understand!” 

“Remus you keep saying that but look at the cake– I don’t even know if we can even call it a cake anymore,” James’ voice trailed off as he covered his mouth with his hand, standing to stare at the last six attempts at the cake - each looked worse than the last. 

“French is a romance language with Latin roots and I know latin.” Remus insisted. 

“Latin and French are not the same language, Remus!” 

“They have the same roots!” 

“Guys, the cake is moving,” Peter interrupted, pointing to where the cake had started to form a rather large bubble. The three boys leaned in close to examine it, and like it had before, the cake popped, startling the three and spraying runny batter all over their faces. 

Remus, whose face was contorted by disgust and cake batter, stood shocked, staring at the cake tin before wiping his eyes and flung the batter to the ground with a frustrated groan. 

“Okay, I think it’s time to find a different cake,” James said, wiping his hands on one of the many dirty towels in the kitchen.

“No, his birthday is tomorrow! This is the only recipe we have and we can’t give him a fucking cookie for his birthday” 

“But Moony we’ve been at this for hours! I’m hungry and tired,” Peter whined. 

Remus took a breath and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.“Fine! Fine, I’ll just do it myself,” He grumbled, growing increasingly frustrated with this recipe. “Why does Sirius have to have such posh taste all the time?” Remus grumbled under his breath, snatching the recipe from James’ hands and reading it over again, muttering to himself. 

James and Peter shared a look before sighing, knowing they weren’t exactly excused from the kitchen just yet. Remus would slave over this cake for days if it meant making Sirius’ birthday a happy one, so James and Peter had to stay too. 

—

Frost covered the window of the Gryffindor boys’ dormitory. Almost every year the first snow fell on Sirius' birthday, and Remus knew this because every year he was up. He tucked himself away in the reading nook in the window, the light from his wand illuminating the page he was reading. But when a small beeping noise was heard from his bed he sprang up and quickly turned it off before digging to find the parchment wrapped box he had been hiding for months. 

“Psst, hey,” Remus whispered as he made his way over to Sirius’ bed, careful to avoid the floorboard that creaked so loud it woke Peter up. He tiptoed and drew back the curtain to his bed, snickering at the sight he found. 

Sirius was splayed out and curled in his sheets, wearing an oversized and threadbare Beatles shirt that Remus had given him for his twelfth birthday. It was too big on him then, and still hung just below his red and gold boxers. A copy of the Rolling Stone with Bowie on the cover was open over his face, and the slight sound of his snores  made Remus chuckle, his lips curling into a fond smile.

“Hey, wake up, idiot.” He said, smacking Sirius’ foot. Sirius made a sound and stirred, causing the magazine to roll off of his face and onto the floor with a thump.

“Fuck, I’m awake,” He grumbled, sitting up on his elbows and smiling when he noticed Remus. “You never make it to midnight” Remus teased, crawling onto the mattress and letting the curtains fall closed as he settled across from Sirius. “Oh shut up,” he groaned again, rubbing his eyes as he reached onto the floor to grab the magazine,placing it on the bedside table. 

Remus fidgeted with a small package in his hands as he smiled at the other boy, admiring the way his grey-blue eyes shone in the dim yellow light of the lamp that hung from the canopy above the bed. Sirius smiled back, pushing his hair out of his face while sitting up properly. He scooted slightly closer to Remus.

“Happy birthday,” Remus smiled, finally breaking the comfortable silence the two of them sat in. 

He placed the package on the bed, sliding it towards Sirius.

Sirius’ brows knit together in confusion as he slid his gaze between the gift and the boy opposite him.

“This is different,” Sirius said, starting to unwrap the brown parchment that Remus had shabbily used to conceal the box. 

“Well yeah, cause– this year is different.” 

It was a tradition they’d started their very first year at Hogwarts. Or really, Remus started it. He’d stayed up, wanting to be the first person to wish Sirius a “happy birthday” - he’d had too much energy, and the second the clock turned past twelve, Remus pounced on his friend. Sirius was of course startled at first, but the second he spotted Remus, looking like an easily excited puppy, he couldn’t be mad. Remus gave him a David Bowie vinyl that year along with the giant Beatles shirt and Sirius still had them, still considered them the best gifts he’d ever received. Remus had a weird thing with gifts. He was usually dreadful at gift-giving, but when it came to Sirius he somehow nailed it every time.

“Why, cause I snogged you on Halloween?” Sirius smirked, always playing a joke. It was true, Remus and Sirius had snogged on Halloween. Both of them consumed a little too much fire whiskey that night, leading to a long, painstaking game of spin-the-bottle. Sirius had finally had enough after three rounds, and dragged Remus away to the broom closet. Remus remembered it vividly. The feeling of his heart beating fast in his chest and the taste of cigarettes, whiskey and strawberries on Sirius’ lips– 

“Because you asked me to be your boyfriend on Halloween.” 

That was true as well. After hiding in the broom closet for what felt like hours, Sirius finally dragged Remus upstairs where the kissing continued in a more horizontal position. Alone with only the muffled sound of drunk teenagers downstairs, it became much more intimate as they laid together on the bed, curtains drawn and lips pressed together. Their kissing was less hungry, less filled with need. Remus had pulled away for just a moment when Sirius said it. 

“Remus, I want to be with you,” He’d whispered, his hand tangling in Remus’ hair, gently playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. His voice was quiet, like he was whispering a secret and all Remus thought to do was kiss him in response. 

Sirius turned red, his pale complexion never failing to betray when he felt embarrassed or flustered. Remus found it quite cute.

“Okay, yeah but–” 

“Stop arguing and just open your present, okay?”

Remus cut Sirius off and pushed the half-opened package against his chest, scooting closer to Sirius to get a better look, despite the lack of space on the bed.

Sirius raised his eyebrows at him and laughed. 

“Okay, okay, pushy” He teased, carefully taking the package and unwrapping the brown parchment that was crumpled around it. Inside was a simple black velvet box only about the size of his palm, and Sirius looked back up at Remus. 

“What is this?” He said, holding back a smile. 

“Just open it,” Remus urged, his cheeks turning red. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, a ball of excitement and nerves sat in his throat as he waited for Sirius to open the box. 

Inside the little velvet box was a silver plated ring, with shimmering moonstone embedded in the center, engraved crescent moons sitting curled around either side of the stone. Remus saw it in a shop back home and it reminded him too much of Sirius not to buy it. 

Sirius stared at the ring for a long while, which didn’t at all help Remus’ nerves. 

“It’s not a proposal ring or anything. Sorry if it looks like that,” Remus finally blurted out

He gently placed the box on his covers, smiling at Remus, his heart fluttering excitedly in his chest.

 “I love it,” He whispered, reaching for Remus’ hands, pulling him close - “I love it,” He said again, gently pressing their lips together. Remus melted into the kiss, sighing softly, relieved that Sirius liked his gift. 

—

“Surprise!” The sound of party poppers was loud and confetti sprayed everywhere as Sirius entered the common room. It was all lavishly decorated, or as lavishly as a group of teens could get it.

The common room was full of Gryffindors, though most noticeably James and Peter who stood in the middle of the room, holding a large cake. Or at least it looked like it was supposed to be a cake. The layers were wobbly and the icing was everywhere and it looked as though half the candles on top of it were trying to run away down its side. For whatever reason, James and Peter had thought it would be a phenomenal idea to adorn the cake with sparklers as well. 

Sirius found himself silently thankful for Lily standing close by, seemingly ready with a spell to take care of things, in case it caught fire.

With a struggle, James and Peter put down the cake, fetching a slice for Sirius before placing two sparklers and a candle in it. Looking at the slice, Sirius wasn’t even sure the cake was edible. Still, he took the slice. 

“Oi, what’s that?” James asked, motioning to the small silver ring on Sirius’ finger. James had spotted it when the ring caught the light from the sparklers, causing the stone to shimmer, showing off the elegant moon designed carved into it in the process. 

Sirius glanced at the ring with fondness, his eyes briefly meeting Remus’, before he turned his attention back to James. “Eh, just a little something. Back to the important stuff, hm? If this cake kills me I need to know who to hold responsible,” he joked. Remus smiled. There was nothing that made him happier than seeing Sirius so happy, surrounded by the people he loved.