#geez this is depressing
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I swear to god people, can we stop fearmongering about DIY HRT. I see so many people just willingly gobble up misinformation about DIY being 'dangerous' and shit.
No, it's not dangerous. You won't die from DIYing. You're more likely to die from getting HRT through official means.
When people DIY, they're almost always doing injections. When trans women get their HRT from an endocrinologist, they're almost always taking pills.
Pills can fuck up your liver. Injections won't. The risk for a blood clot is universal between them.
Its not dangerous. Its not illegal.
You're just cowards gobbling up misinformation.
Stop spreading DIY misinformation.
Stop fearmongering about DIY.
If you don't live in a big coastal city in the US, there's like an 80% chance you're the first trans person your endocrinologist has ever interacted with. Chances are, they're gonna be transphobic and low-dose you to oblivion.
I know so many trans women who are taking 1mg EV a day with no anti-androgens (or an equally low dose of like, spiro), which at that point you might as well not be on HRT at all — you might as well be burning money over a trashcan. Horse urine would be a more effective HRT regimen than that. Your doctor is trying to kill you; your doctor wants you to suffer.
I know so many trans men who are injecting are like 10-20mg of testosterone a week or every few weeks and wondering why they aren't getting much masculinization. Your doctor is trying to kill you; your doctor wants you to suffer.
#trans#hrt#diy#lgbt#transgender#queer#its so fucking depressing y'all#so many of you would rather spread harmful misinfo instead of thinking for yourselves#at the VERY least#learn what the average dose is for whatever you're taking#so you can know when your doctor is trying to fuck you over#and btw#starting on a 'low-dose' is bullshit#i started with 9mg Estradiol Enanthate injected weekly (high dose) and I'm fine#never had health issues related to HRT#Didn't feel sick#didn't feel weird#Started seeing results in my first month on HRT#Stop gobbling misinformation like y'all gobble cock geez louize
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Man, i actually surprised Grey didn't cry at some point
The first time kid woken up, he was in a room that filled with dead bodies
The first alive "person" that greeted him, casually admited that she was here to kill him
His first time outside was to fight a gigantic guard and then proceed to get thrown into an abyss
His second encounter with an alive person is nice at least and then they "ask" him to become a Hunter, yeah, Grey agree but like, he doesn't have anything else to do.
Get called Defectives left and right, even by his own supposed-father and brother/sister and multiples people keep belittle him for not knowing everything while being vague as hell
#mmzx#No wonder Grey always look so angry or just sad neutral#Aile after getting to know Grey more#“Geez. I beat up a tube baby"#Model Z: “correctly. You got beat up by a tube baby”#Model X: “...while he is depressed”
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AUUUGH
#vent#drugs tw#i've been on a tolerance break and it's been going pretty okay#but the DAY i get hit with a depression/anxiety mambo combo too intense to handle by myself i'm all out of weeeeed 😭#I'm this || close to just walking down to the smoke shop and spending my emergency change on a pre-roll or something#GEEZ this is suffocating#the issue with that though is that i can put my binder ON by myself but I can't take it OFF#and i'm stealth to owen's coworkers but i need to drop by the cafe to pick up the change from owen#and i'm too boobacious to get away with just a sports bra#GODDDD
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i’ve come to conclusion that december & january indeed depress me
#i mean#yeah#trauma coded i guess#idk if i have seasonal depression as much as it it#is being fuckef up LOLOLO GEEZ MAN#dunno but i’ve become aware of this#and i like. i like christmas though..#cheer up emo kid!
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Having a Saturday like "most people I've dated have only really liked me for my body and/or a fake personality I've presented, so when they know the true me it's not enough to keep them around. Anyways let's have some ramen for my 2 pm breakfast."
#speculation nation#negative/#mayhaps. i am not feeling too great this morning.#this came from me thinkin about my recent ex again and how she said she never actually loved me#(im sick of thinking about it. but i think im gonna be thinking about that for a long long time.)#but i thought about how excited she'd get about my looks n body and i just thought to myself like#'maybe she didnt love me but at least That couldnt have been faked.'#n then i just paused like '...Geeze.' at how depressing a thought it was lmfao#like sorry my personality is ass and my hot bod's the only good thing about me (relationship-wise)#xoxoxo cant help bein a hot mess i guess !#... i dont know if she even realizes the blow she dealt to me by saying that.#i Told her i had trust issues and felt unlovable. i Told her this.#and yet she tells me that she never actually loved me and every time she said it was a 'mistake'. a MISTAKE.#she didnt need to say that. she literally didnt need to say that. even if it was true there are just some things that dont need said.#in the end. she's not the first person who's dealt this kind of blow to me. and she might not be the last.#i'll keep going. i'll keep trying. i know im not actually unlovable. there's gotta be Someone who likes me for more than just my body#who is also a good fit for me. they Gotta exist out there. somewhere.#and for now. i continue on with full confidence in my attractiveness but Zero confidence in my personality.#might try a nice n slow romance next. make them actually work for it b4 they get to sleep with me.#make it a reward or smth. or rather. make sure theyre not here for Just that lol.#sure would be nice if i had someone interested in me for more than just my body. we'll see if i can find that lol.
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me bc I’m sad and friend jealous and overworked but $0 earned 😃
#kyleescreamsintothevoid#I’m sinking into a depressive episode n trying to write through it#but geez I’m getting so lonely and bored and miserable at my COMISSION ONLY job#fuck#but I’m disabled so I have to work from home#and don’t have any degrees so YAY!!!#and now I’m my brothers guardian 🙈#perfect#love#doing so great
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I wish shows were made like how they used to be, not in a "BACK IN MY DAY, SHOWS USED TO BE CHOC FULL OF STEREOTYPES AND NOW THEY'RE ALL WOKE!!" way, but in a way where I want old game shoes to come back.
I want to be able to host a game show. Something akin to this is Game Changer, which is really cool, but I want Super Market Sweep to come back, or Bruce's Price is Right.
I want a slightly orange-yellow tint over the film, I want to have the title be Seriffed, I want something original, I want something to be passionate about and I would love for it to be triva based.
Because if I am not a Man of Trivia, then I am not a man at all
#supermarket sweep#bruce's price is right#game shows#old game shows#and before anyone says#supermarket sweep came back#i mean like 1990s game shows#i want crystal maze#I want early 2000s#whatever takeshi's castle was about ( i only remeber one episode)#i want the charm#i yearn to go back for that#i think I just miss them#but I want to make something theyd be proud of#if they knew they had a grandson#who is me.#sorry for the depressing stuff geez#listening to#kiss me#son of god#really makes a guy sad#its those freaking violins#theyre so EUUUGH#in a good way
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i feel like i need a break from all social activities whatsoever for at least a month
#minor rant up ahead because i need to vaguely get stuff off my chest#like i don't even want to talk to my friends#i'm just tired#but at the same time i'm full of energy that i can't do anything about and the tiredness isn't in an “i'm depressed!” kind of way#february is draining me and i don't know what to do anymore :(#there's too much stuff going on yet i have nothing to do but i feel like i should be doing more#i don't know how else to explain that#geeze anyway#i hope you have a good day to whoever made it this far down :)
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god i need to move away from my parents' house like i cant take this shit anymore
#its fucking HELL#grateful for all the good things yadda yadda but also its impossible to live with them in peace and harmony#never have depression around them cause they go so angry about it geez#honestly i dont get why they get so worked up when i tell them i dont want anyone to talk to me atm (im clearly tired. upset and stressed)
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oooh my parents are arguing about me again. aha
#my moms sticking up for me for once.#my dads like “she has ups and downs she will be fine” in response to my mom expressing concern about my well being#aha#i have diagnosed depression u fucker. its not just ups and downs#dont get me wrong the meds help. but geez#cant wait to move out !#love my family and theyve given me so many opprotunities and worked hard so i can have these chances#i appreciate them a lot. i really do. and i get where theyre coming from#however. i do not need to be living in the same house with them . im going crazy and insane#also my parents arguments make me want to fukcing. break something#atlas screams into the abyss#vent
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Dipper sighed as he felt another pen crack between his molars. Great, Mabel was definitely going to make fun of him for the ink stains on his mouth when she got home. He could hear it now, Wow Dipper, I knew you were a nerd, but I didn't know if I left you alone you'd start kissing your homework.
Dipper sighed and threw the pen into the trash with the other three he'd already snapped. It wasn't fair - he spent the whole summer fighting monsters and saving the world, why did he have to learn the stupid Great Depression's effect on American Literature or whatever. He glanced at the calendar. Only a little over a month until winter break. Grunkle Stan and Great Uncle Ford had promised to try and make it back to Gravity Falls so they could host the twins for the holidays. Sure, they had only been on the open ocean for a couple of months, but the two of them decided it would probably be best to start with a shorter trip then build up from there. After all, despite their age, they were still rookies. Besides, there was nothing on the sea that would help jog Stan's memory other than Great Uncle Ford's questioning. Being on home soil would hopefully bring back some more of Stan's forgotten past.
Dipper's phone pinged. He frowned. That shouldn't happen. He had his phone on Do Not Disturb so he could finish studying. The only alerts that would still pass through were texts from Mabel, Grunkle Stan, or Great Uncle Ford. Mabel never texted when she was out with her friends, and it's not like there was a lot of cell reception out at sea. Curiosity peaked, Dipper unlocked his phone.
It was Stan. More specifically, Stan's boots on the deck of the boat. It was a video, and before Dipper could press play, three little dots appeared indicating Stan was typing. Dipper sat back and waited. It usually took Grunkle Stan awhile to type out his messages. He always blamed the too small phone screen, saying it wasn't designed for fat fingers and cataracts.
What does this mean?
Dipper frowned at the message. Was he asking Dipper to decode a message? Why wouldn't he just ask Great Uncle Ford? Unless...oh gosh was Great Uncle Ford in danger? Did they need help? Why wouldn't he call? Dipper turned his volume up as high as he could, pressing play with a sweaty thumb.
The video started on Stan's boots, but quickly shifted as Stan started pointing his phone at something on the...oh. The wooden planks Dipper had seen Stan standing on weren't the planks of the boat deck, they were floorboards for an outdoor patio. A patio that was full of people speaking...some sort of language. Something Nordic maybe. Geez, weren't they freezing? Maybe not because...Nordic.
The camera was pointed at the door separating the bar from the patio, specifically, the top right corner where a set of speakers had been hung. Oh, Dipper realized. He's trying to record the music. Dipper held the phone to his ear. Maybe Stan was trying to figure out a secret code in the lyrics? He was pretty sure he had told Stan all about that day when they saved Wendy from Robbie's horrible music. This sounded a lot different than Robbie's music though. It was way more upbeat and -
...comin' through, that girl is youuuu...
"Oh my God," Dipper groaned, letting his head fall to his desk. Of course. Of course that's what would be playing. Of course a Nordic bar would be blasting Icelandic Pop Sensation BABBA.
Now Stan's message made sense. He had heard the song and felt "The Itching". That's what Stan had taken to calling it when he could feel himself starting to remember something, but needed a little extra help making it make sense. Stan said it was because it felt like an itching in the back of his brain. Dipper was pretty sure he called it that because if he announced he had "an itch that needs scratching" it was always a fifty-fifty toss up as to whether he needed help with a memory or literally wanted someone to help him scratch himself. Sometimes it was both. Either away, Stan got a kick out of how many times he could trick Ford.
Dipper grimaced. Maybe he could get out of this one. After all, Stan doesn't need all of his memories...right? He could forget some of the more embarrassing ones.
It's a song by BABBA. He typed. It's called "Disco Girl." There. The fact Stan's going to know that Dipper can identify the song is embarrassing enough, he doesn't need to remember The Incident.
The three dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then appeared again.
Oh. OK.
Dipper sat his phone down. There. That was that. He didn't need to feel guilty about how Stan somehow managed to sound disappointed with two words. Besides, he had homework to do. He was a busy guy. Yep, not gonna think about it.
His phone pinged.
Made me think of you.
Okay. Starting to feel guilty now. Dipper sighed. Even over text message, he could hear the tone of voice Stan would say it in. That tone where he would say something like it was just a careless aside so that you wouldn't think he was taking something seriously, so then you wouldn't take it seriously, so that he could tell himself you didn't take it seriously because you thought he wasn't taking it seriously and not because you don't take him seriously or care about him seriously or -
Dipper frowned. Maybe these English classes were doing something after all. Apparently all of that fictional character analysis made him better at analyzing his uncle.
He could picture Stan now, having already sat his phone face-down on the table, wondering why there was some memory of Dipper that Dipper didn't want to share with him. Oh man, he probably thinks Dipper's tired of helping out with his memories or something.
That's because you heard me sing it once. Dipper wrote. That should be enough to jog Stan's memory a bit.
The three dots. Heard or saw?
Dipper groaned. Maybe Stan was just messing with him. He probably remembered the whole thing and was just trying to get Dipper to regale him with the story again so he could laugh at him.
Whatever. Dipper would be the bigger man.
Both. You walked in on me after I got out of the shower. You really need to learn how to knock, man.
There. That should be enough. Hopefully Stan and Ford will get back on the boat and see a giant Kraken or something equally as awesome so Stan forgets all about this conversation.
He exited out of their message thread and opened up his thread with Great Uncle Ford. Whatever "clever" joke Stan wanted to make at his expense would probably take forever to write. Might as well take advantage of the good cell service while he knows they have it.
Hey! Are you with Grunkle Stan?
Three bubbled appeared. Dipper didn't have to wait long. Ford was a surprisingly quick texter.
Yes, we're exploring the town together. I take it you're the one he's been texting?
Yeah. He had an itch. Nothing crazy, just a song he heard this summer he couldn't remember the name of. Okay, he probably could have told Ford. Especially after learning about the whole Kiss-Bot incident, Dipper's BABBA incident definitely didn't come close. But c'mon, wasn't Dipper allowed to have at least one family member who thought he had a shred of dignity left?
He smiled. Probably not. After all, he was a Pines.
Ah, that explains his behavior then.
Dipper frowned. Behavior? Is he okay?
Oh yes, of course. My apologies if my language was alarming, Stanley says I tend to word things "dramatically". He's simply trying to ask the table next to us if there are any music stores nearby. I didn't realize children still used physical CDs.
Wait. Stan is looking for a music store? Why specifically mention children? Dipper typed slowly, wording his questions as discretely as he could.
Oh? Is Stan looking for a CD?
The bubbles appeared. Then disappeared. Dipper frowned. They reappeared.
Disregard my earlier message.
Oh they were definitely up to something. Two could play at that game. You don't live with a professional con man all summer and not learn how to get what you want out of someone.
Okay. Hey, Grunkle Stan showed me a bit of the patio. Can you send a video too? Would be interested in seeing where you are.
Of course. One moment, please.
Dipper sat his phone on his desk while he waited. Realistically, he should be working on his homework while he waits. It's not like he'll be able to focus on anything when Mabel gets home. But, it's not like he can focus on anything now, mind buzzing as much as it is.
After three minutes and fifty-three seconds, Dipper's phone pinged. He grinned and pressed play.
The video started pointing toward the other side of the patio. Made sense, Ford was probably sitting across from Stan at their table. Stan was nowhere to be seen though. He must have stood up to speak to the table next to him. Dipper could see townsfolk sat at their tables in heavy winter coats, hats, scarves, and gloves. Everyone was wrapped up in their own conversations, and while Ford panned slowly across the porch, Dipper recognized another BABBA song playing faintly in the background. The owner must have had a playlist going. There were fairy lights strung up across the porch, street lamps helping illuminate the night. Wherever they were must have been in the middle of some small town, probably no bigger than Gravity Falls.
"Ford!" Grunkle Stan's voice rang out. Dipper quickly held the phone up to his ear again. There was a loud metallic grating sound - probably Grunkle Stan pulling out his chair to sit down again.
"You're never gonna believe it!" Stan sounded excited about something.
"A moment, please, Stan," Ford murmured.
"We don't have to go to the music store! Those people didn't speak English but the guy who runs this place does a little. That internet translator did the rest."
"Google, Stanley."
"Whatever. Anyway, he said he'd sell me the CD he's playing right now when he closes up for the night."
"That's great Stan. Hold on a moment I'm just trying to film this for -"
"Dipper's gonna love this! I think. It's sort of coming back to me. I think that memory he helped me with, I think..."
Stan trailed off. Dipper pulled the phone away from his ear to see if the video had ended, but Ford was still dutifully scanning their surroundings with the camera. It looked like Ford had stood up, holding the phone high above his head to show Dipper the coastline beyond the porch railings.
"I think I told him I was proud of him that day." Stan's confession was quiet. But Stan quiet. Which meant loud enough to be picked up on Ford's camera.
Ford's movement stopped. "You did? Why?"
"Well. I sorta did. I think. He was tryna prove he was 'a man' or whatever, so I told him he was. He stood up for what was right even though no one else agreed with him. And then I think I uh...ripped my shirt off and showed him my chest hair. Maybe I should get him to fill in some of those blanks there."
Ford laughed. "I don't remember it taking much to get you to take your shirt off."
"I'm a gross, old man now, Ford. We'd all prefer if it stayed on."
Ford hummed. "So how much is the CD?"
"Eh, he wants like 500 Kroner."
"Seems overpriced."
"Well it's gonna be free."
Ford sighed. "Stanley..."
"What?" Stan cried indignantly. "He's obviously tryna scam me anyway! Besides, it's worth it. Dipper will love it! It's a CD of a band he likes from Iceland stolen from Iceland. Trust me it'll be worth the -"
All sound stopped. The video had ended. Dipper sat at his desk, a small smile on his face. He had been so worried about Stan remembering one of his more embarrassing moments but...Stan remembered it as a day that Dipper made him proud. Huh.
He exited the video and saw that Ford had sent him another message only a minute after sending the video.
Please disregard that video. Terrible audio quality, I have to retake it.
As Dipper began to type a reply, he saw three bubbles appear. He waited.
I'm going to infer that the delay in your response is because you didn't see my message in time and already viewed the video. My apologies, I forget how strong the audio quality of phone cameras are.
Three more bubbles.
Please act surprised.
Ah well. Dipper had omitted the truth a couple of times tonight. What was one more? He started to type.
Sorry, I was working on my homework while I waited for an answer. Guess I got distracted. Should I not watch the video?
Three bubbles. Ah, I see. Yes, that would be for the best. I'll take another video for you now. In the meantime, keep up the good work!
Dipper sat his phone back down on the table and picked up another pen. Might as well do a little more homework so he wasn't totally lying. But first...
He opened his message thread with Stan.
Need help with anything else?
Nope. Go to bed.
Dipper laughed. There it was. The curmudgeon was back, trying to hide the fact he was a big softie underneath.
It's earlier here you know. If anyone should be in bed, it should be you.
I'm old. I do what I want.
Okay old man. Love you!
Sap.
Dipper snorted and sat down his phone. A moment later, it pinged again. He glanced at the screen and saw it was another message from Stan. It was only two words, but they knocked together like flint and steel, lighting something warm in Dipper's chest.
You too.
AN: A continuation of this! I kind of just want to write a bunch of one shots going with this. Some ideas are brewing!
#i love them being silly okay#when stan gave dipper the cd he definitely was making jokes the whole time#'hey dipper some teen girl dropped this so i picked it up for you before the trash man could'#and dipper will roll his eyes but hug him anyway#and stan will stand there stunned but return the hug anyway#and if he smiles a bit when he hears dipper blasting the music in the shack next summer#whatever#no one's there to see#gravity falls#stanley pines#grunkle stan#stanford pines#grunkle ford#dipper pines#schedule the following#stanuary#stan twins#sea grunks#gravity falls fic#my writing
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Cologne.
જ⁀➴ Matthew Sturniolo



“Am I attractive? Tell me am I good enough?”
SUMMARY: you’ve been feeling insecure as of lately, not really knowing why since you’re known for your burst of confidence. But when your.. “fuck buddy” Matt finds out theres a sudden shift between the relationship.
You were and could proudly claim, the baddest bitch everyone knew. Always confident, sexy, seductive, a bitch, a sweetheart, everything in the book at this point. You always had on the most cuntiest outfits never ashamed to show off the body you were blessed with. But as of recently a sudden shift in your perspective changed. It was one of those days where you get hit with sudden depression and go through a whole crisis of anxiety, grief, and anger.
You were unhappy with how you looked for the first time which was a shock because hello? You’re stunning! But even people who seem to be absolutely flawless can still have some insecurities about themselves.
Your phone goes off, a message from Matt.
Matt 🤓: can I come over?
Matt and you were.. an interesting pair. Both constantly yelling at each other at the top of your lungs. You wouldn’t label Matt as your enemy because that was just corny to you. You both were just the same person in a different font and hated how similar you both acted. But over 6 months ago what started as a heated argument about some stupid movie turned into a night of raw, rough passionate sex. And since then you both agreed to be not so much as friends but definitely with benefits, fuck benefits if you will.
Something about him being so angry and pounding inside of you made your organs rearrange. Hate sex was definitely a new favorite for you. And Matt could definitely say the same. You both promised to keep this sex secret to yourselves because people were too nosy. And if ANYONE even found out about you and Matt secretly having sex the world would probably stop spinning.
You were hesitant to say yes to Matt’s message but you said yes regardless which you immediately regretted but he had already read the message so there was no doubt he was on his way. With a soft sigh you toss your phone to the side. You really weren’t in the mood for sex but you convinced yourself it was what you needed and definitely NOT someone to talk to.. yeah.
Roughly 20 minutes go by there’s a knock already knowing who you stand up from the couch opening the door to see Matt in a black hoodie and some jeans, “you look rough” he commented playfully like he always did but you weren’t in the mood to hit him with a comeback, “thanks.” You responded nonchalantly as you moved aside to let him in.
The blank response catches him off guard, “are you okay?” He asked slightly worried but tried to make it seem like he didn’t care, “I’m fine.” You said stuffing your hands into your black sweatpants.
“That doesn’t sound like you’re ‘fine’” he says with an eyebrow arched. “I said I’m fine okay?” You responded sharply, God, you really were a bitch huh?
“Okay sorry then geez.. what’s up your ass lately?” The last sentence he mumbled under his breath but you were able to pick up on it “you don’t have to be here you know?” You snapped at him.
“First off chill the fuck out. Second you said I could come if you didn’t want me here you could have said no.”
“Well.. I change my mind then get the fuck out.”
“What?”
“Get out Matt!”
“Y/n what is wrong with you?! Why are you crashing out like this?”
“I said I’m fucking fine! Are you stupid?!”
Matt strides towards you pinning you against the front door, “why the fuck are you being so aggressive for?” He asks roughly, not tolerating your bitchy attitude.
“Get off of me Matt!” You replied trying to squirm out of his grasp, his grip tightens on your hips not too hard but good enough to keep you from slipping away. “What’s wrong with you, you’re not being yourself” he asks again firmly
“Why do you even care.” You say desperately trying to stop yourself from crying in front of him.
“I’m asking you. What. Is. Wrong.” He repeats looking directly into your soul.
“I- I don’t know okay? I feel gross. I feel unhappy about everything, about myself.” Your words were choppy, barely able to speak as you managed to choke up a sort response.
Matt stands there holding you firmly looking at you like he was examining your emotions that were clearly visible, “what do you mean..” he says softly
“You don’t understand.”
“I want to, y/n. Talk to me.”
“It’s not so easy for me to just open up. I don’t even know how to explain what I’ve gone through.” You explained with tears that you refused to let run down your cheeks, but Matt was no idiot. He knew you were trying to act tough like nothing was bothering you but he could see it through your downturned eyes that used to stare up at him with lust now filled with tears and a calling to be cared for.
“Shhh” he coos, “you can let it out, I’m here.”
His hand gently wipes across your cheek and suddenly you’re balling your eyes out in his arms, you were definitely mentally kicking yourself for showing such a weak side to someone you’re not even supposed to be emotionally connected to but the feeling of Matt’s arms wrapped around you like he actually cared had you refusing to even push him away.
The smell of his cologne, an earthy soft wood fragrance filled your nostrils. The familiar scent you grew to secretly love brought a sense of comfort.
“Listen, kid” he begins softly whispering just above your ear, “I know we’re not on the same page most of the time, but I promise you you’re going to get through this. You’re enough, you matter, not just to me but to everyone who admires you. I’ll always be here for you even when you can’t force yourself to seek for help.” His words sink into your mind, the slight flutter in your stomach makes you almost sick but you can’t push him away nor did you really want to. He was the only one who showed a bit of affection rather than saying some crappy ‘aww I’m sorry’ and then leaving you alone.
You gently pull away from his embrace, “thanks Matt..” you say softly barely even putting any effort to talk but he’s able to hear you perfectly fine. He wipes the tear rolling down your cheek with his thumb. Leaning in to press his lips against yours gently rather than roughly like he always did.
He pulls away after a few seconds holding your pretty face in his hand, “God even when you’re upset you’re still so beautiful.”
Chat I love love LOVE cologne so fucking much it’s my most repeated song. It’s such a fucking banger I literally cannot. And I get to see beabadoobee this month I’m so excited :33
ALSO! This post isn’t made to offend anyone, if this topic came off as triggering I do apologize!! The fanfic is based off on what the song is about but again I apologize!!
Besos a mis amores!
↳ @chrisspirategirl 💘
Dividers —> @bernardsbendystraws
#°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🍒ྀིྀི works#sturniolo triplets#the sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfiction#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets fanfic
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camgirl reader x viewer/watcher sevika?
"Do As I Say."
Personally am not a fan of this idea, but let's see what I can do for y'all
Contains smut, dildo, pornography, r!pornstar, fingering, cliffhanger ending, mentions of self harm, sado-maso conversation, masterbating

Nervous as you were, despite having done this several times before, you opened the laptop and logged into the website.
Instantly, you started getting comments for you to do this or that, mainly just people sending disgusting comments. But there was one woman who always came online whenever you did.
Sevika.
You didn't know her. Atleast, that's the name she used on her profile. But whatever the case was, you never started touching yourself until she came online.
It started ever since you were only starting out in the porn industry, she'd been possessive over you.
Now, slowly it had become a tradition that you wouldn't touch yourself until she joined your live chat, no matter how many times the other people would comment or tell you to do so.
Yeah, you did lose a few viewers over it but you didn't really care. You made enough money off of this Sevika person.
A long few minutes passed and there was no sign of this woman until suddenly you saw the little message at the corner of your screen that said that she joined.
“Hey, bunny.” The first text she sent was vague but did something to you. “Hi.” You said, stretching the vowel a little.
“Feeling lonely tonight again? Or are we desperate for money this time?” Sevika's words popped into the screen.
“A little bit of both. I like masterbating. And I like money so… I could just earn money while masterbating, no?” You replied, a sly smirk playing on your red painted lips as you tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear.
“You like pleasure, I get it.” The text showed up, “But you think you get off on pain, too?”
“I suppose, I never attempted to inflict pain on myself, that sounds depressing.” You said with a little laugh making Sevika on the other end of the screen laugh too.
“I meant sexual pain, love.” She typed out for you to read. “Want a little demonstration?”
“Sure…” although the words were unsure it just escaped your lips because deep down you knew you wanted Sevika to reduce you to a whining, pathetic state even though she couldn't really touch you in real life. At least not right then.
“Bring the pretty glass dildo you have.” Sevika's words shone on the screen. You blushed but nodded, bringing the glass, transparent dildo.
“Now?” You questioned in a soft voice.
“Strip for me, bunny.”
You slowly slipped your lingerie off, smiling at the webcam, a slow seductive smile.
“Such a tease.” Sevika's words popped up.
“Only for you, daddy.”
“Now I want you to kneel facing away, put the dildo on the ground and take it in your ass.” The command was sharp and there was no mistaking that she wasn't playing around.
“W-without lube?” You asked, voice shuddering a little. “Yes, bunny, come on.” You flushed reading the comment, that would sting a little.
But you came so far so you might as well do it. You turned around and knelt down, ass facing the camera as you slowly placed the transparent toy on the ground.
As you slowly lowered yourself on the silicone dick you winced because you knew it wouldn't go in without a long and excruciating stretch.
You sucked in a breath before slowly pushing down causing the toy to slip deeper inside your ass making your eyes close tightly.
“Oh, fuck, Sevika, that hurts.” You whispered as you continued slipping the dildo inside inch by painful inch. The stretch was a burning pain searing through your butt.
That would make a few days of sitting down painful even. As all of the dildo disappeared into your ass, you let out a little sigh of relief. “It's inside, ‘Vika, what do you want me to do now?”
You turned around so you could read the comment section on the screen.
“Geez that's a beautiful ass.” Someone said.
“Sexy as always.” Someone else said but you really didn't care what they thought.
“Check your cunt, slut.” Sevika's comment said to make you look down and use a finger to rub the soft pad of skin down your pussy to feel and goodness were you soaked down there. “I'm so wet…” you confessed aloud.
“That's a good slut.” Sevika said followed by, “Now finger your cunt. Lay down on your lower back, legs up, and show me how much of a whore you are, won't you, bunny?”
You nodded, blushing as you laid back and fingers rubbed your own heat, eliciting a soft moan from you. “S-So good, daddy.” Two fingers spread your pussy out as one of your fingers disappeared into your slit, rubbing against the inner walls making you whimper and moan.
“Wish you were here, “ ‘Vika, o-oh, g-g-gosh…” you stuttered and whined as your fingers worked to pleasure you.
Your clit throbbed as you slipped two more fingers inside and gasped, “Fuck.” You cursed as your fingers moved fast, burying knuckles deep inside your own pussy.
The dildo in your ass was lodged inside dry and the pain mixed with the pleasure was a delicious combination.
Your mind was going hazy and legs a little tired from hovering up, fingers moved faster and faster until you cried out and your body jolted, squirting all over the place.
“Daddy… fuck, that was so good.” You got up, wincing as the dildo pushed deeper due to you sitting up.
“Take the dildo out now, bunny.” You complied letting the dildo slip out of your asshole which gaped for a little after the thick toy moved out.
“You're so hot, bunny.” Sevika's words shone, making you blush and giggle a little. “You're such a fucking tease. Wanna come over and ruin both your holes.”
“You could if you want to…” You said as you fidgeted with your fingers suddenly feeling shy which was ironic considering you were naked in front of a bunch of unknown people.
Just then you received a private message from Sevika that said, “Next time, use a VPN. Open your door now.”
#arcane#sevika#sevika arcane#sevika my love#sevika i love you#sevika is my wife#sevika is so much more then a henchman#wlw#arcane sevika#sevika x reader#sevika league of legends#sevika lol#sevika my wife#sevika x you#sevika x y/n#sevika save me#sevika smut#sevika supremacy#sevika sevika sevika#arcane smut#wlw smut#smut
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a fic where the batfam travels through multiple universes, aus, random stuff like that.
they end up in batman beyond’s universe, where they first meet Bruce, and only Bruce.
Tim: So you’re just Bruce but way older? Nothing else is different?
BB!Bruce: Well not quite. I never adopted so many kids in this universe. I only “adopted” Richard, and Timothy, but neither currently accompany me.
Jason: Damn, so no me, Steph, Cass, Duke, or Damian huh?
BB!Bruce, like the liar he is: I cant say I recognize those names, no.
Dick: Wait, so you’re all alone?
Steph: That’s kinda depressing, no?
Bruce: Hes not all alone.
Jason: How do you know?
Damian just silently points his sword to a dark corner, where a Terry McGinnis walks out, holding popcorn and a cup of tea.
Terry: Yo, how’s it going- oh hey new people wow
Almost everyone groans at the sight of him
Damian: Seriously Father? Another boy you’ve adopted?
Terry: Woah hey, i’m not adopted? Bruce is more of a boss if anything
Jason: Oh god, he hasn’t even realized he’s a wayne now.
Dick: So, what’s your name? And how’d ya get adopted?
Terry: I’m-
Tim: I’m guessing he got adopted Jason style
Terry, starting to feel his eye twitch: Wait-
Steph: No, i’m gonna say he joined in Tim style!
Dick, ignoring the spluttering boy: Nah, this Bruce dropped out of Batman for a while now. No way he could have figured out his identity.
Cass: let him talk
Everyone goes quiet as they turn to Terry
Terry: geez, you’re my favorite. Anyways, my name is Terry, and im NOT a Wayne. That’s it. Now if you will, i’m going on patrol. Bye!
Silence.
Jason: He’s not adopted? talk about self control.
Damian. Wait. Who is he going on patrol as.
More silence.
…
Duke: Was it just me or did he not look a bit familiar.
#terry mcginnis#batfam#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#batman#duke thomas#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#alternate universe#batman beyond#future batman
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Thank-you sentences for quietellen behind the cut; "Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good!" (( chrono || non-chrono ))
“Hey, Lynn!” he greets cheerfully, and Lynn keeps staring–well, not-blankly at him, for whatever reason he’s doing that. But like, he guesses that’s Lynn’s business, really? “You ready? We picked out some good books, if you wanna take a–” look, he doesn’t finish saying, because Lynn crosses the living room really abruptly and then stops really abruptly right next to him, and Billy blinks at him and isn’t sure if–
Lynn stares at him for a second, just kinda standing there, and then sort of–jolts, a little, and shifts back half a step. His expression still looks a little weird, but–well, okay, it’s probably only “weird” to him, Billy thinks, so that’s maybe not really a fair thought? Although then again, for all he knows it is weird for Lynn? It might even be an expression he’s never even worn before and wouldn’t even think was normal himself. Which, well, there’s a lot of things Lynn’s never done before, so maybe it’s just–
Billy is definitely overthinking things again, yeah.
“Um,” he says, and Lynn keeps just kinda staring at him and looking . . . complicated, Billy’s gonna go with. “Do you wanna take a look at the books we picked? It’s okay if you changed your mind about it. We can figure out something else for, like, winding-down time. You said Kid Flash played music for you, right, did you like any of–?”
Lynn all of a sudden just snatches Tawky off the coffee table and hugs him really tight against his stomach. He’s still staring at Billy, and Billy wonders if that means he’s worried he’s doing it wrong or something? Like . . . maybe?
Technically nobody can really hug somebody wrong as long as the somebody they’re hugging doesn’t mind the way they’re doing it, Billy thinks? And Lynn is still kinda doing the more-like-a-chokehold thing, but Tawky obviously doesn’t mind, and he’s tough enough to take getting hugged a lot harder than Lynn’s hugging him anyway. So like, Billy figures it’s fine, probably? Like–probably it’s fine, he thinks?
“I’m really glad you and Tawky are getting along!” he says cheerfully, figuring that either way it can’t hurt to say something nice to his own kid, and wonders if maybe Lynn’s kinda a hugger after all? Because this is already like the third time Lynn’s hugged Tawky since he met him and he’s carried him around a lot already, so like . . . maybe he is kinda the hugging type, actually?
Which–well, that makes sense, Billy figures, because Tawky’s a lot smaller than Lynn is right now and also super soft and fluffy and also really polite and patient, so he’s always a really good choice for a hug anyway. And maybe to Lynn it kinda feels like–well, like as close as he knows how to get to getting carried around like babies and little kids like to be, even if it’s, like, subconscious or whatever. Or maybe he’s just carrying Tawky around so much because he wants carried around, so he’s just assuming Tawky would like that too and doesn’t know how else to make friends with him. That’s a thing Billy’s heard about really little kids before–that like, they don’t really get that other people are different people who might want or like different stuff from the kind of stuff they want or like themselves? So that might make sense, if Lynn’s trying to be nice but doesn’t really know how yet?
That idea is really cute, actually, geez. Like really, really cute.
Though maybe Lynn’s just kinda touch-starved in general, Billy thinks, which is less “cute” and more “majorly, majorly depressing” as a thought. But like, he’s not really sure how to ask “hey, do you maybe want me to pick you up again and maybe carry you around some, because I could definitely do that, I’m dad-sized for a REASON, you know,” in, like . . . any less dumb-sounding way, or at least any way that a teenager would not think was incredibly lame, so like . . . maybe he’ll have to figure something out there, he guesses.
He doesn’t know, like . . . he'll workshop it, maybe? Flash and Green Lantern both say “we’ll workshop it” a lot when things get too weird or complicated.
Usually, like, before stuff starts blowing up? But like, it’s almost always on purpose, so Billy figures it’s still applicable.
#billy batson#conner kent#tawky tawny#captain marvel#shazam#superboy#young justice animated#young justice#wip: billy adopts conner and it actually goes pretty good!#quietellen
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Hi! Can I please request a poly!Marauders x reader where the reader has a secret admirer? The reader is receiving anonymous gifts and letters, making the boys anxious and jealous. If not, it's okay! Thank you, author-san!
omg i love this! thank you so much, baby, hope this is okay! gn!reader x poly!marauders
cw: jealousy and possessiveness, borderline harassment and stalking, hickey
1.1k words
You groaned loudly when you opened the front door only to be greeted by yet another bouquet of flowers. You begrudgingly brought the arrangement into the house, setting it on the countertop.
"Again? That’s like the third this week, and it’s only Wednesday." Sirius said, exasperated and (almost) as annoyed as you.
"Fifth, actually." You hated that you were complaining, you knew you were technically very lucky to receive all these gifts, it was just distressing. And to be frank, getting very old.
"Christ, this person is thirsty." Sirius’ voice was strained, clearly more anxious than he was wanting to let on.
"At least it seems they don’t have much of a chance, anyone worth their salt knows that you hate roses, angel." James said, between mouthfuls of his sandwich.
"I know," You cringed. "Who should I give these to this time? Lily has enough flowers to open a shop" You rolled your eyes. "Speaking of," You reached into your work bag and pulled out two boxes. "There were chocolates at my work when I got there yesterday, and a pair of earrings on monday." You walked over to where Remus and Sirius were cuddled on the couch.
“Geez, dove. Are we gonna have to step up our game?” Remus said, voice tinged with jealousy.
"No, this person needs to step down. Or at least give me a return address or something. All the notes say is ‘from someone who appreciates you, xx.’ It’s actually kind of distressing." You handed the smaller box of earrings to Sirius, "Are these your style, honey?"
"What? You don’t want them?" He sounded surprised. Of course you didn’t! Why would you need presents from a random person when you have three boys who give you all the love you could ever need? (and in the way you like it)
"No, I would feel weird wearing them." You cringed, handing the larger box to Remus. "You can have these, I don’t even like cherry chocolate." Remus took the box like it was filled with poison, a disgusted tilt to his lips, just as Sirius dramatically dropped the jewelry box onto the coffee table.
"I don’t know whose grubby paws have been on this box." He sneered. You rolled your eyes at his dramatics, looking over to James who was still in the kitchen. He had set his sandwich down and was looking like a kicked puppy. It made your heart crack.
"Jamie, what’s wrong baby? Come here." You beckoned him over. He rushed to your side, placing his hand protectively on your shoulder and gripping you tight. You looked at your other two boyfriends, Remus’ jaw was clenched tight and Srius was still looking at the box and scowling.
"I jus’ don’t like it." James said from your side, his voice was small like a child's.
"Wait, hold on," You said, "Are you all actually worried about this?"
"Define ‘worried’ lovely," Remus said, his voice an awful mix of venomous and depressed. “I don’t think any of us like knowing there’s someone out there fighting for your affections.” His eyes had an angry glint to them.
“Guys,” You said, your heart only breaking further. “You have nothing to be worried about, okay?” James’ grip tightened on you. “There is absolutely no competition here, I’m not even giving these the time of day. I don’t want anything to do with the gifts or the person sending them.”
“But you would if we weren’t in the picture.” Sirius said quietly, all too insecure for your liking. You wormed your way out of James’ grasp, resulting in a whine being pulled from his throat, to crouch in front of Sirius. You grabbed his pretty face in your hands, looking into his sad eyes.
“No, I wouldn’t. I’m not impressed by these gifts.” You took a deep breath, not wanting to confess the next part and worry your boyfriends worse. “They actually kind of scare me.” You admitted, making all their eyes snap to you.
“Scared? Of what, darlin’?” James piped up.
“I just,” You cringed. “I don’t like knowing that there is someone this obsessed with me and I don’t know who they are. And that they know where I live and where I work. I mean, who knows how much they know?”
“Well now I feel like an arse.” Sirius grabbed you from the floor and hauled you onto the couch with him and Remus, wrapping himself tightly around you. “Here I was thinking this person was gonna get you away from us, not knowing they were worrying you.”
“You’re not, I promise!” You reassured. “Honestly, if there was someone doing all this for you three I would be really jealous too.” You placed a hand on two of your boyfriends’ thighs, looking over at James, who was still sulking, now sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “But I can assure you, even if I found out who this person was, they, and no one else, would be able to take me from you three. You aren’t getting rid of me that easy. Besides, I don’t like stalkers.” You joked.
Remus pulled you closer to him, gentle but still much more aggressive than usual. Your other two boyfriends had settled, but he was still heated.
“Remmy,” You turned to face him. “I promise, you have nothing to worry about.”
“I know,” He grunted, burying his face into your neck. You wanted to shrink at the ticklish feeling but you allowed him to stay there, knowing he needed it. Remus had a jealous streak, perhaps the most of all your boyfriends. James and Sirius were more subtle in their protectiveness, but Remus started marking you all like a wolf anytime someone let their gaze linger too long. You buried your fingers in his hair and scratched his scalp, trying to relax him.
“As soon as I find out who this is I will get them to stop, I promise.” You said vehemently. You looked guiltily at all your boyfriends, “I’m sorry this is happening, it isn’t fair to you all.”
“It’s not your fault, dolly.” Sirius placed his hand on your back. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, you aren’t asking for this.” You were about to hug him, but Remus held fast around your waist, you started to protest, but you felt Remus’ lips latch to a spot on your neck, nibbling and sucking hard enough to sting, but not hurt. The sound you let out was half giggle and half moan.
“Christ, Moons!” James barked, “You trying to brand them or something?” The three of you started giggling like children. Remus released your skin from his teeth, observing the red and purple splotch that was left in his wake.
“Gotta make sure they know what’s mine.” He said, possessively. “Don’t worry," His eyes glinted furiously at your two other boyfriends, "you two are next.”
#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders x reader#marauders#marauders fanfiction#drabble#fluff#marauders fandom#james potter x reader#marauders era#james potter#remus lupin#sirius black x reader#sirius black one shot#sirius black#jealousy#lily’s asks#anon ask#anon request
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