#harry potter shitposting

[erinsintra]

absolutely obssessed with how good the urban planning of hallownest is. the stag can take you absolutely anywhere. there are trams to access dangerous locations they can't get across, and everything is absolutely free. walkable neighbourhoods are a must, even in a setting where some people can fly.

more than that, the kingdom fell long ago, and everything is only like a tenth of what it used to be. which means things were actually EVEN BETTER at some point

[hearts4dorlene]

Remus: Hey fellas, good night?

Peter *grumbles*: Not as good as yours apparently

Remus: What-?

Peter: Yours and Sirius' Muffliato charm broke

Remus: Oh shit did you guys hear?

*Enter James*

James: Oh god your faces, what have I missed Wormy?

Peter: Did you not hear them both last night James? Were you out or something? They were going at it-

Peter:

Peter: Why are you wearing a Slytherin tie James?

*Enter Sirius*

Sirius: Just been to get some breakfast and saw my little brother wearing a Gryffindor tie?

Remus: James?

James: Funny story lads, so you see-

[siriuslemonmuffin]

regulus: what do you look for in a partner?

remus: someone who can challenge me intellectually

regulus: so how did you end up with someone who’s intellectually challenged?

[moonlightdancer26]

Snape haters: How do people even like Snape?

Also Snape:

“Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.”

*****

“Would you like me to do it now?” asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. “Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

*****

“I was just showing Harry my grindylow,” said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank.

“Fascinating,” said Snape, without looking at it.

*****

As Harry raised himself into a sitting position, his head still swimming from its last contact with the ground, he saw Snape running as hard as he could, the enormous beast [Buckbeak] flapping behind him and screeching as Harry had never heard him screech —

. . . Snape had managed to Disapparate just beyond the school’s boundaries.

*****

Snape gave her [Umbridge] an ironic bow and turned to leave.

*****

“The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter — or at least, most minds are.” He smirked.

*****

“Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.”

[troythecatfish]

[perciver4ever]

Fred: I don't get how Wood likes you-

George: Yeah, you suck.

Percy: Real good too.

Bill, Charlie, Fred, George, Ron & Ginny:*chokes*

[starman-waitinginthesky81]

if Wolfstar raised Harry:

someone: WHOA did You Know Who give you that scar when he killed your parents?

Harry [deadpan]: No, i’m just a really dedicated Bowie cosplayer.

[jrhostile]

James: I think you’re pretty

Regulus: you are hiding behind the door, you obviously find me terrifying

James: you are many things

[madame-helen]

[charmedimsure]

real photo of sebastian convincing ominis why the relic will help anne

[hearts4dorlene]

*after a Quidditch game*

James: We won!! Wasn't I fabulous darling??

Regulus: You were okay, can't criticise much

Remus: Wrong answer

Regulus: Huh?

James *sobbing his little heart out*: YOU DONT THINK IM FABULOUS????

[stylesandpottertoo]

"my father didn't strut" james potter would be screaming at the top of his lungs from heaven in support of his boy

'oh but he did strut don't you think he'd laugh about it?' yes WE KNOW but do you think he would see harry being tortured by severus fucking snape and NOT side with harry? darling he wouldnt even THINK of how he walked, all he knows right now is that harry is in pain, and that's all he cares about

[moonlightdancer26]

James Potter:

Actually saved Harry’s life ❌

Outran a hippogriff ❌

Choked someone with soap and exposed them against their will ✅

Is batman ❌

Spied on Voldemort and saved the Wizarding World ❌

Severus Snape:

Actually saved Harry’s life ✅

Outran a hippogriff ✅

Choked someone with soap and exposed them against their will ❌

Is batman ✅

Spied on Voldemort and saved the Wizarding World ✅

[oxydiane]

sirius is so funny because he was so gay the author couldn’t think of a single random woman to pair him off with and beat the allegations so she had to kill him

[peachesfuzz]

I want to kill myself. MY P U S S Y IN BIO

[nevermindigotthis]

If you know, you know.