#he's gonna rise again like jesus. real

[sunfudge]

Call me nuts but the more time passes the more I think Fyodor will live somehow

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 10

part 1 | part 9 | ao3

cw: recreational drinking

When they get to Eddie’s trailer, Steve’s mom is sitting on the couch, eyes unblinking as she watches the TV.

There’s just static on the screen.

“Steve?” she slurs when she finally realizes they’re there. Sways a little when she stands. There’s a dreamy quality to her voice, a blank look on her tired face: agreeable but distant, a smudge of campfire smoke curling far over the trees.

Double-dosed her pills again. Jesus Christ.

“Oh, Stevie, baby, it was just awful.” She reaches out for him, and he wishes he could find comfort in the way she cups his elbows with delicate hands. Wishes he could lean into her touch and offer comfort in return, but her tone is so dull and mild that bile rises in his throat. Chemical calm bullshit, and Steve has had enough.

“Ma, just…” he sighs, shrugging her off. Scrubs a hand over his face. Too young and too old for this. “Just go home, okay?” The street is quiet again, all the neighbors tucked back in their houses now that the show has run its course. He doesn’t think anyone will notice her stumbling across the road. “Get some rest. I’ll be over in a bit.”

“Sure, baby.” He leads her to the door, and she turns there on the threshold, eyes glassy and unfocused; looks through him like he’s a ghost. Then her gaze shifts around the room — the hats, the mugs, the clutter; the lived-in explosion of color that Steve’s annoyed he likes so much — like she’s just seeing it all for the first time, and absently, she murmurs, “This place is dreadful, isn’t it?”

“Mom.”

“Hmm?” she asks, but she’s already drifting out the door.

Steve’s face is on fire. He stands there for a moment, just staring dumbly out into the dark. What the hell is wrong with her??

Behind him, Eddie snorts. "Oh, she’s on the good shit, huh?”

Steve whips his head around. Eddie’s eyes are full of mirth, his dimple peeking out, and it startles a laugh out of Steve. He thinks maybe he’d take offense if he weren't so busy being mortified.

But also, like.

It is a little funny.

Or maybe it’s so unfunny that it circles back around.

“Jesus, man,” he huffs, “Sorry. I don’t— I don’t know why she…”

“S’fine,” Eddie says with a casual flick of his wrist. Seems like he means it. He rocks back on his heels, hands in his back pockets, just sort of eyeing Steve up. Assessing. Running his tongue over his lips. They're big, for a guy's. “…You want a beer?”

“Fuck.” That sounds so nice. “Yeah. Please.”

“Have a seat.”

Steve takes the offer when Eddie nods at the couch, too tired to do the whole song and dance of ‘oh heavens no, I couldn’t possibly impose.’ Who’s got the energy for that?

The couch is old. His skull thuds against the un-cushioned back when he sinks down into it, but he’s too tired to care. Worn out as the lumpy springs under his ass, the frayed fabric beneath his arm. A wave of exhaustion rattles his bones, reverberates in his teeth. He thinks he could sleep for sixteen years.

Eddie clears his throat when he comes back with the beers, a sudden cautiousness about him as he hands Steve an unopened can like Steve might claw him in return.

"Sit down," Steve rolls his eyes. "I'm not gonna bite."

Eddie makes a strangled noise. The springs bounce as he plops onto the seat beside Steve, sitting sideways with one leg up on the couch between them, his arm resting on the back. "So, ah...." He gives a wavering chuckle; pulls a lock of hair across his face to hide himself. "Is this the part where I formally apologize for trying to knife you?"

Ugh. No the fuck it isn't. Steve’s too drained for it, absolutely at capacity for more serious shit this evening, thanks; and besides that, it was...

Whatever. It's old news.

Instead of giving a real answer he reaches into his pocket, snicks his own knife open and pretends to brandish it at Eddie, asking, "Eye for an eye?"

Eddie's eyes go huge. "Dude, what the fuck??"

"Just fucking with you," Steve laughs, lifting the can up to his mouth. "But there; now we're even. Shoulda seen your face."

“Ah—!” Eddie’s jaw drops in offense. “Ex-cuse you!”

God, of course he’s more dramatic than all the kids combined.

Steve jabs the knife into his beer, pops the top and starts to chug, throat working as he gulps the whole thing down in four big sips. It tastes like frothy, bitter piss, but it's cold and it soothes the scratch in his throat.

Eddie lets out a low whistle. "Well, goddamn, Harrington."

"Is that supposed to impress me?" "You're not?"

Steve grins and wipes his mouth.

—

They get drunk pretty fast (Eddie refused to be upstaged in his own house, so one shot-gunned beer became two became four), and somewhere along the line the conversations get weird; hilarious and dumb. Saying shit just to say it, chipping away at the ice wall between them with bare fingernails.

Eddie hollers some shit like: "What are you even talking about?" and his arms fling out wide, almost spilling his beer. "The deep sea is so much scarier than the mountains!"

"Are you joking?" Steve throws back. "The mountains have, like, giant cats and shit! Birds of prey with wingspans the size of your van."

"Yeah, and the deep sea has eldritch monsters that live in volcano vents and hunt with no eyes and eat their young for fun or whatever the fuck. You ever heard of an anglerfish? Or a phantom anglerfish? Tell me that shit isn't right out of a Lovecraft story."

"A what story?"

"How am I the one who hasn’t graduated yet?"

Then later:

“Dude, Batman? Seriously?”

“He’s the world’s greatest detective!”

“He’s a greasy little weirdo. You only like him because of your whole…” Steve gestures at his tattoos.

“Whatever, Spiderfan.”

And later still:

"Okay, okay, okay. Fuck, marry, kill... Shit. Y’know this would really be easier in a town where so many people hadn’t died."

Steve grimaces at himself; expects Eddie to call him out. It’s too insensitive, too soon.

Eddie just cracks a grin and suggests, "Fuck, marry, revive?"

—

They talk for a long time. Eddie's kind of charming when he's not being a dick. A nice smile, deep laugh lines. Steve can almost see why the kids are so obsessed with him. He's never met someone so animated; feels like he's talking to a Saturday morning cartoon. The conversation mellows out after a while, and he doesn't realize he's dozed off until Eddie shakes him awake.

"Hey, man," he says, voice just above a whisper. "I'm going to bed. You're welcome to crash on the couch, but, uh,” he scratches the back of his neck, “I mean, your back is probably gonna hate you for it."

Steve rubs his fists against his eyelids and blinks himself awake. Feels jittery and weird, yanked out of the start of a bad dream. When he looks up he sees that he’s got his shoes up on the couch; and there’s dried drool on his chin, and all at once he feels embarrassed, off-balance and panicked like he missed the last step down a steep flight of stairs. Of course he's overstayed his welcome. He's being fucking rude. "My bad," he mutters as he jumps up off the couch. Stands up way too fast, makes his vision tilt and swirl. "I'll get out of your hair."

Eddie reaches for his arm. "Dude,” he says, “you're fine. You can stay if you want.”

Steve moves out of his hold. “Nah, get some sleep; I’ll see ya around.”

Eddie frowns at him, a little furrow between his brows, and somehow Steve feels like he’s in the wrong, like Eddie isn’t the one who just kicked him out.

Like maybe Steve’s just running away for a second time in one night. Always back and away, this guy.

Who's the fucking coward now?

—

part 11

y'all know the drill, tagging whoever commented on yesterday's installment provided your tumblr settings let me <;3 @thealwithnoname @violetsteve @manda-panda-monium @stuftzombie @bronwenmarie @aliea82 @slowandsteddie @acedorerryn @anne-bennett-cosplayer @ahsokatanoss @steveshairspray @hallucinatedjosten @estrellami-1 @ppunkpuppyy @stevesbipanic @silver-snaffles @yourmom-isgay @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple @zombiecreatures @im-a-disgrace-to-humanity @faery-god @hotluncheddie @runninriot @a-little-unsteddie @teatimeeverybody @newtstabber @pearynice @hellion-child @cuips-not-cute @steddieas-shegoes @steves-strapcollection @loguine-linguine @griefabyss69

[ramshackledtrickster]

Thoughts on the tyranny of king Washington dlc?

Not good.

I believe I’ve talked about this before on my blog but I can’t find the posts to link back to rn unfortunately.,,

But uhh I’ll just. Lightning round it real fast

“it’s all a dream” dumbassery

Racism behind the scenes (exclusion of indigenous talent and consultants that were present in the main game, very little care or no usage of the Kanienkehá:ka language, etc)

P much non of the indigenous cast returned except for Noah as Ratonhnhaké:ton. Ziio, Kanen’tó:kon, Oiá:ner… all different people (and all white or non indigenous if memory serves me right. I heard a story where Tiio Horn didn’t even know the dlc was being made until Noah told her at a con)

Killing ziio again for no god damn reason. And Kanen’tó:kon. Oh how about we kill Oiá:ner this time too. All of em died shamefully.

Writing Ratonhnhaké:ton pretty badly,,?? Idc if it’s bc of the weird tea he drank he shouldn’t be an asshole to Kanen’tó:kon and have that go unaddressed

Making him more animalistic and a jerk in general. Like the animal spirit dream segments keep making him run around on all fours n snarling n shit STOP IT

THEY WROTE ZIIO SO BADLY????? She only appears as this big floating head after her death shaming him for drinking the tea and she finally says “you’re no son of mine” JESUS CHRIST???????? This is not my Kaniehtí:io who are you and what did you do to her. No amount of girlbossism is gonna fix this for me

The spirit animals powers and plot … self explanatory (I love how ac3 took efforts to avoid harmful stereotypes and then just mega beamed it into the dlc)

His outfit,,, most of the game is in winter why aren’t u dressed more practically omg. Also I get.. weird vibes from it idk. It low key feels like an excuse to just make him scantily clad eye candy (also they debuffed him a lil which makes me sad. You are dehydrated !!!!)

“Wouldn’t it be wild if George Washington was genocidal good thing he never had the apple irl” hate to break it to you but— (I’m sorry I just. The framing in the game irks me where they treat him being racist as being the result of the apple and that he’s just a misunderstood guy that wants a vineyard or whatever tf he said in the game)

Thomas Jefferson being here and being a good guy. Idk I just. I don’t like it.

It has a salvageable premise,, a reimagined history timeline of a largely indigenous cast rising against a maniacal George Washington that shoots lasers. In the hands of a better crew and artist i think it would have been great and fun but as is.,,

I also like bad end alternate universe stories where someone gets dropped into a world where everything they know is wrong!! Call me silly but. Phineas and Ferb across the second dimension. But no yeah this is awful awful awful despite using a trope I like.

The only good thing I can say about tokw is that it has a great score. Lorne Balfe knocks it out of the park again but no yeah this kinda sucks ass imo. Also Noah’s voice performance really went off here but that’s it.

If I find the posts I talked abt this before in I’ll link it here but yeah. Lucky me that my favorite ac game also has the worst dlc of the entire franchise. And so the monkey paw curled.

Also heads up I’m not indigenous so when I talk abt the more racial stuff here, I’m not speaking from experience but rather what I’ve learned from other people who discuss stereotypes in media and what should be done to allow better representation

Anyways that’s abt it will edit if I find my old posts

[kneelmylucille]

On Your Knees - Chapter 1

Abstract: “Sweetheart,” Negan’s raspy voice growls above you, as he places the bat in your face once again, carnage dripping and hanging from the barbed wire. He opens his mouth with a shit-eating grin as if to speak, but as you look up and meet his eyes just as before, he falls deafeningly silent.

Characters: Negan x Female Reader

Warnings: violence and gore, eventual smut, nsfw, 18+

Words: 1,391

“Alright. We’ve got a full boat. Let’s meet the man.”

Your knees dig into the cool gravel below, leaving deep imprints in your already torn skin. Suspecting what was to come, you had dissociated from the world around you, only hearing your own sharp breaths and the pounding of your heart. Meaning, you had missed the command to get on your knees and were shoved forcefully to the ground, your already torn jeans finally giving up and ripping the rest of the way open.

“Pissin’ our pants yet?”

Keeping your grey eyes placed firmly on the ground in front of you, you refuse to accept the situation. You are relatively new to Rick’s group, having only arrived at Alexandria a few weeks prior after Daryl and Rick had happened upon you while on a supply run. You had been with other groups before, formed lifelong bonds with people whom you would have called family, but you always seemed to be the last man standing.

Of course, you should have known that it would have only been a matter of time before history repeated itself and landed you here, breath caught in your throat and ears ringing as blood began to seep from your scathed knees and slowly fill in the cracks of the gravel.

“Boy, do I have a feeling we’re gettin’ close.”

You take a deep breath, beginning to feel grateful for the distraction of your stinging legs.

“Yep. It’s gonna be pee pee pants city here real soon.”

This could not be any wor- Did this man just say pee pee pants city?

Lifting your gaze, you start at his boots and begin to take him in. His long legs, his leather jacket hiding a red scarf wrapped tightly around his neck, his salt and pepper beard surrounding a wide predatory smile, and a barbwire-wrapped baseball bat resting firmly yet carelessly on his shoulder. An unfamiliar feeling rises deep in your abdomen, which you tell yourself to be a mixture of both fear and disgust, but you know yourself better than that.

“-but swallow it you most certainly will,” Negan drawls in a voice that reminds you of the aforementioned gravel, as he points his bat in Rick’s face.

Nope. You close your eyes momentarily as you attempt to disappear into the comfort of your own headspace but find yourself defiantly stuck in reality as Negan continues with his speech.

“So now … I’m gonna beat the holy hell outta one of you.”

You draw in a sharp breath, instinctually reaching out to grab Michonne’s arm as you first take in the deadly gaze of Negan, and finding no comfort when you turn to find Michonne with an equally terrified look on her face.

Negan turns slowly in your direction, his face remaining dangerous as he takes two long strides and stops directly in front of you.

Your eyes fall on one another’s as he takes you in, running a gloved hand over his long face “Jesus.” He takes a step closer, his boots falling only an inch from where you kneel.

“You still with us darlin’? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” His lip twitches and gives way to a wolfish grin, as he leans in close and loudly whispers, “And not the friendly one.”

Choosing to ignore his illy timed joke, you opt for continuing to stare into his eyes, looking for any shred of hope that this night isn’t going to go as you anticipate. Grievously, you come up short as he stands to full height and raises the bat over his shoulder half-heartedly, “Maybe I should just put you out of your misery right now.”

“No!” Your heart drops as Daryl screams and jumps out of line towards Negan, before being thrown to the ground by a heavily scarred man and struck repeatedly.

“Stop it!” The words leave your mouth without thought at the sight of Daryl’s bleeding and defenseless position. Your whole body shakes in terror, certain that you’re going to see Daryl die before you meet your own brutal end.

Negan turns with a disappointed gaze and a bored sigh, “Nope. Nope, get him back in line.”

As Daryl is harshly placed, kneeling in his former position, Negan turns back toward the group. “Alright, listen. Don’t any of you do that again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions. First one’s free. It’s an emotional moment,” he smirks and points dejectedly at Daryl, “I get it.”

A brief moment of silence follows as you peer over at Daryl, tears pooling in your eyes. Negan continues prating down to Rick, but you permit your eyes to remain focused on Daryl for a long while, trying to wordlessly convey to him that everything would be just fine.

Negan appears in front of you, calculatingly pointing his bat an inch from your nose, but you focus on his face, not allowing yourself to ponder too long on the weapon that could bash your head in at any moment.

“Eenie.”

He continues determinedly down the line, passively acquainting the bat with each of your companions.

“And you-“

You grind your knees into the ground.

“Are-“

You will yourself to wake up, thinking this surely cannot be real.

“It.”

To your horror, he stops directly to your left, and you turn to see Abraham straighten his form in firm defiance.

“Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy’s other eye out and feed it to his father and then we’ll start.”

The pools of tears finally fall from your eyes, cascading down your paled cheeks.

“You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry.” He glances toward you so quickly that you almost miss it. “Hell, you’re all gonna be doing that.”

He raises the bat high in the air, and you squeeze your eyes shut, hearing a sickening crack, and seemingly feeling the reverberation of the blow rattle your own skull. Terrorized screams erupt from every direction, as a second blow lands, and then a third, and then a fourth, as the blunt thuds morph into a stomach-turning squelch. Warmth splatters across your face, which you can only assume to be gore, but still you refuse to open your eyes.

You grind your raw knees deeper into the gravel.

It feels like an eternity before the sound finally stops, and you wrench your eyes open, immediately feeling as if your own head would explode upon seeing the pile of brain matter, which was Abraham only moments prior, splayed less than a foot away.

“Oh, my goodness! Look at this!” Negan swings Lucille towards the group, splattering Abraham’s blood carelessly, before giving a knowing and drawn-out chuckle. “You guys, look at my dirty girl!”

You fall forward on your hands, tightly grasping the gore covered dirt and gravel in your shaking hands.

“Sweetheart,” Negan’s raspy voice growls above you, as he places the bat in your face once again, carnage dripping and hanging from the barbed wire. He opens his mouth with a shit-eating grin as if to speak, but as you look up and meet his eyes just as before, he falls deafeningly silent. His eyes squint ever so slightly, and you can tell that he’s pondering over something, perhaps over if you would be next to become familiarized with the end of his bat. You squeeze the gravel encased in your hands until you know that you’ve drawn blood, as you continue staring despairingly into his eyes.

He leisurely lowers the bat, grin having never left his face, and speaks over his shoulder, “Dwight. Gently load this one up.” The scarred man, whom you now know to be Dwight, springs into action toward you. You release a worried breath, dropping the earth from your hands, and wondering for a moment if attempting to run would be your best option. “Gently.”

Dwight takes you by the forearm and pulls you from the ground, guiding you to one of the savior’s vans.

They’re taking me, your legs go numb at this realization as you’re placed into the back of the van. The last thing you see before the doors shut and you’re plunged into an uncertain darkness, is Rick’s slouched form and his blood-covered face, staring back at you with a look of utter defeat.

[naavispider]

OR, ORRR, ok what if that who drabble was a memory he relive in a dream turned nightmare 🫢 the moment Quaritch comes back, ready to bring Spider into a world of pain, he wakes up with a jolt in the forest, maybe a month or two after that incident, hyperventilating as some squad members stir.

Miles was the watchman and catches Spider having a bit of a panic attack. (Yes I’m asking for a bit of comfort it it’s possible, maybe Spider even being all reluctant and going “you’re not gonna…hurt me again, right?” 😭)

This response is about a follow up I wrote to Noodle, imagining that the whole finding-a-dissected-Na'vi-in-the-Bridgehead-labs thing was a nightmare 💅🏻 Sorry it's taken me so long babe 💞

"Please!" Spider yelled as the door slammed shut behind Quaritch, leaving Spider, achingly, desperately alone again, on the cold hard floor of the Bridgehead cell. "Don't leave!"

He couldn't do it. He couldn't be left like this, not again. His mind mulled and churned and thoughts became fears until he couldn't think straight. His hands were clammy, his chest heaved with agonised breaths of air that simply weren't enough. "I'm sorry!"

He cried out, and then hands were on him. Large, strong hands. Hands he knew to be Quaritch's - but Quaritch had just left. He was alone. He was hurting. He was terrified.

"PLEASE!" he called out again, grasping for the touch in the dark. Distant noises floated towards him, but it was hard to hear anything past the sound of his sobs and the hissing of his exopack.

But wait... He was in a cell, inside... why was he wearing an exopack?

He flung his eyes open, drenched in sweat and clinging onto Quaritch's protective arms. His head span as he tried to figure out what happened, through the haze that his brain had become. Quaritch was there, shushing him. He was sat on the mossy floor of the forest, plants and bugs glowing around them.

It was bewildering - it had felt so real. All he could do was try to get his breathing back under control as relief flooded through him. He was safe, he was with Quaritch, the squad were nearby, and they were in the forest.

"It's okay... you just had a bad dream," came Quaritch's voice from above him. His face was pressed into Quaritch's chest, though Spider didn't remember getting there consciously. The sound of the recom's voice was steady, authoritative, yet laced with worry. Not yet capable of saying anything, Spider focused on the words. "It's alright kid, you're fine."

His fingers gripped Quaritch's arm as a headrush overcame him. He had become dizzy from hyperventilating. He tried to match the steady rise and fall of Quaritch's chest to regulate his breaths.

Eywa, he'd never had a nightmare this bad.

Slowly, his grip on the recom's oversized limbs relinquished, and Quaritch moved his arm to stroke Spider's back firmly. "Jesus, kid. That was one Hell of a night terror..."

Spider's head had finally begun to clear. "Sorry..." he mumbled. This was just pure embarrassing, really. "That was... I've never..."

Quaritch waited him out, but it was difficult to put into words how real it had felt. The dead Na'vi, laying face up on a table with his insides spewn out. Rotten. Decaying. Blackened flesh. A cavity of a torso.

Quaritch would never do that. Of course it wasn't real.

"That was shit," he settled on.

He was still under Quaritch's protective hold, so he gently released the man's forearm and pushed himself away slightly, finally bringing Quaritch's concerned face into view. The Colonel noticed the change in the boy's demeanour, tilting his head as if to encourage Spider to continue speaking. Spider noticed the furrow of his brow, the worried creases surrounding his golden eyes, and most tellingly, the way his ears were alert, pricked up and scanning for even the smallest sounds, utterly focused on Spider.

"You wanna talk about it?" Quaritch asked slowly.

No, he definitely did not. Spider shook his head.

"Was..." Quaritch seemed to steel himself for what he was about to say. It looked like the words weighed heavily on his heart. "Was I in it?"

Spider pushed himself back further, allowing him a sturdier position on the soft, luminesent moss beneath him. It also meant he could support himself fully without having Quaritch's hands on him. He looked deep into the recom's eyes, almost scared for what he would find there. "Yes," he said eventually.

Quaritch nodded. "Tell me."

Spider took a breath, unsure if revealing the truth would help either of them. But Quaritch was staring at him so intently, he couldn't help it. "I... we were in Bridgehead. I sneaked off and found..." Spider took a deep breath and forced away the images of the warrior on the dissecting table. "A Na'vi warrior... in the labs. He was..." He stared hard at the teal coloured glow of the moss beneath him to stop the images. "He was gutted... experimented on. And... and you knew about it"

Quaritch seemed to expect what was coming next.

"You... you took me back to the cell. You were going to leave me there. Again."

Neither of them had forgotten the days of confinement Spider had been subjected to in that place. Neither of them wanted to relive it.

"Spider..." Quaritch whispered.

It was strange hearing him talk so softly. Quaritch had almost always spoken to him in his strong, squad leader's tone of voice. Even when Spider had messed around, Quaritch never really deviated. He didn't shout, and he certainly didn't whisper.

"You know that - back then - those were different times. You weren't ready to talk. You couldn't be reasoned with." Spider hissed at that, but Quaritch ploughed on. "Not like now. You and I, we're good together. I'm sorry for the way it went down... at the beginning. But I ain't making no apologies for what it led to. You and me, kid. That's all. That's the only thing that matters."

Spider raised his eyes to look at Quaritch once more, uncertain of the man's words. If that's how Quaritch felt, great.

Spider wanted to feel the same, he really did. But he could not forget his trauma.

He nodded, if only to pacify the recom.

"It's late. You should go back to sleep."

"Can I have a tablet?" Can I lay next to you?

Quaritch exhaled, nodding seriously as he reached into his pack for the spare holopad that Spider was becoming increasingly dependent on to fall asleep. Spider took it gratefully, watching as Quaritch got up to return to his own resting spot against a tree trunk.

Somehow, the knowledge that Quaritch was on watch duty for the camp provided a reassurance that Spider didn't know he was missing. As he laid back on the soft ground, he felt comforted knowing that if he did slip into another night terror, Quaritch would be there to bring him back, with gentle hands and a strong embrace.

[wanderingcas]

wrote something today, genuinely did not mean to write so much angsty breakup dean/benny in this fic but here we are

Dean sits in steeped silence, frowning at his hands laced on the table. Benny talks first. “Dean—”

“Just—” Dean holds up a hand and closes his eyes. “You don’t get to do that.”

Benny’s shoulders slump. Quietly: “Yeah. I know.”

“Just because we get along, doesn’t mean—”

“I know.”

“So then what the fuck gives?”

Benny sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face. “It may not necessarily mean it. But I have eyes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I see the way you look at him.”

Dean lets out an incredulous laugh. He tilts back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. “Jesus.”

“What? You want me to just not say anything?”

“Actually, yeah,” Dean says, pitching his voice lower so that Cas can’t hear this ridiculous conversation. “I want you to keep your mouth shut so you don’t drive out the one good thing I finally got going.”

Benny rises from the table, fingers encircling Dean’s wrist. "I worry about you. That's all I'm saying."

Anger swells again, the crest of a wave. Dean pulls out of Benny’s grasp. “I’m getting real tired of people saying that.”

“Can you blame them? Your dad died not even a year ago, Dean. You can’t keep an assistant keeper here. Those men died on your watch. Sam wants to leave—”

“He can leave!” Dean snaps.

“But he can’t leave, because he’s worried about you.”

“Okay. Fine. I’m fucked up, I’m—I’m broken. Is that what you want to hear? But the thing is with Cas, he doesn’t handle me with kid gloves. Unlike the rest of you, he’s not acting like I’m made of glass and I’m gonna break and shatter if you drop me.”

Benny’s face twists into something pained. “Oh, cher,” he says.

“Don’t—don’t do that,” Dean says, jabbing a finger at Benny. “Don’t you pity me. I don’t want that shit.”

Crossing his arms, Benny stares at Dean with wide, sad eyes. “Dean…”

“I know it was my fault, okay?” Dean says. “I know that what we had—losing that—it’s my fault. I came back from the war, just…” he takes a sharp breath, “fucked up and you tried to wait for me to get better, I—I get that.”

They sent letters to each other, while they were both at war. I’ll come home for you, Benny promised. I’ll come back too, Dean replied.

Little did they know, there wouldn’t be much of the old Dean coming back at all.

[enchxanting]

our love is god [ethan landry x reader] pt. 10

read part 9 here || all parts

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: slight violence, blood, murderous fantasies, and obsessive behavior

a/n: that awkward moment when you go to college and forget how to write fic. lol <3. here you go, im getting back into it so just a short chapter.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!

How the hell could I let this happen? What the fuck?

How does fighting with your best friend turn into triple homicide? How does getting a boyfriend make you an accomplice? A few weeks ago I was a girl with a crush, and now my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

I didn’t sleep last night. Ethan dragged me out of the house into his car. I was shaking the whole time. It didn’t feel real. We were speeding back to my house, swinging wildly around corners, and I remembered the way Mindy’s sliced throat bubbled with blood. I threw up all over myself and the passenger seat of Ethan’s car. That only scared me more. I thought he’d pull over and kill me right then, he seemed so manic, but he only glanced over and laughed. Fucking laughed. 

That wasn’t even the sickest thing, though. He finally got to my house and I went to get out of the car, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back so hard I thought he’d dislocate it. He didn’t say anything, but his expression was so terrifying I got the message: don’t say shit. 

My parents barely noticed when I came home. They didn’t even realize I’d been out. Typical. My boyfriend killed the only people who cared if I lived or died. Except him, of course. 

The sick thing is that I can’t forget that sweet, shy boy from the cafeteria. Whenever I see him it’s like I shut down. Like a deer in headlights. I’ve got no control over myself when I’m with Ethan. He brought me to his place, again. Just showed up in his car. I thought it was better to do what he wanted.

Thank god no school tomorrow.

Y/N

As soon as I close my diary, I feel a familiar presence behind my shoulders. I tense as he wraps his arms around my neck. 

“Relax, Y/N,” Ethan says. “It’s like you saw a ghost.”

I’m still scared shitless by him, but his comment makes me so mad that I push him off and rise from the living-room couch. “What the fuck, Ethan?”

His mouth widens into a toothy grin. “A little dark humor, sorry. Just trying to lighten your mood.”

I don’t give him the satisfaction of a response. He rolls his eyes and flops onto the couch. “So, who’s next? Should we kill Anika? Could be another suicide thing– not much to live for after your girlfriend and her brother and his kinda-girlfriend bite it. Or maybe Sam? She’s the reason you were even at Tara’s place that morning, after all.”

My blood runs cold. I open my mouth to say something, but the door slams. “Jesus, kids, you’re sure making a lot of fucking noise.” 

Ethan’s dad waltzes in, smiling ear to ear. His shirt is partially unbuttoned and his hair and tie are askew. Sergeant Bailey smells like cigars, and I wrinkle my nose before I can stop myself. 

Ethan rolls his eyes. “Celebrating, dad?”

The sarge pretends not to notice Ethan’s tone. “As a matter of fact, yes. We investigated and intercepted a pretty high-level bomb threat today. The captain took us out to celebrate. Still an asshole, though. I should be doing his job.”

“Bomb threat?”

“Yeah. A gnarly one, too. Some office building in the east of town. They put a Norwegian in the boiler room and a bunch of thermals upstairs that were gonna be set off after. Luckily the bomb squad got there before the clock reached zero. The captain…”

He keeps chattering about the details of his day and his “fucking idiot” of a boss, but it all fades out when Ethan gets that look in his eye again. I know this one: it’s the same look from the funeral. His eyes are stony. He’s forming a plan. 

I can’t be in this house any more. I feel myself run out the door, and I almost make it to the street before a tight grip fastens itself around my waist. I kick and yell but to no avail. Ethan tightens his grip around me and kisses me, muffling my screams. I’m so claustrophobic, I can hardly breathe.

As he deepens this kiss, I do the only thing I can think of: I bite his lip, hard. He yelps and lets me go, and we both fall back onto the grass. He brings his hand down from his mouth, and I can see a trickle of blood on his fingers. “Cute, Y/N. Very fucking cute.”

“Leave me alone. We’re done. Whatever this thing is, it’s over.”

He grins, and there’s blood in his teeth. “You can’t bring them back. You’ve got to know that.”

I feel hot tears welling up. “I’m not trying to bring back anything, you psycho, except maybe myself.”

His face hardens. “I love you, Y/N. I love you a whole fucking lot. I’ve made that pretty clear. And you know what I can do. To anyone. For you. To you. So you’ll be back.”

His threat makes my head spin. I scramble back towards the road. For a second, I think he’s going to follow me, but he makes no move to get up.

When I hit cement, I turn on my heels and run. The sting of the wind burns my tear-tracked cheeks, but I don’t stop or slow until I’m safely upstairs in my bedroom with the door locked. 

Dear Diary,

Am I going to homecoming, or hell?

taglist: @miawastakens dm or reply to be added!

[simpliao]

i know u wrote ‘let you break my heart again’ quite a while ago but it would b so cool if u wrote a part two where schlatt wonders why y/n had stopped attempting to hang out with him and ect and it ends in fluff maybe?

good person at heart ; (irl) schlatt x reader

summary : we do bad things even if at heart we're good people.

info : angst hehe, (kinda) cheating, semi-fluff (not really), smoking, disordered eating, hospital, depressive inner monologue,

a/n : I don't know if I'm gonna post after this but I hope this feeds you guys for the next handful of months ! I know the request was for it to be more fluffy... and sweet. but because of what this is based off of I couldn't do that. Thank you so much for 200+ followers even if I literally have not posted since last year. I love you guys, pro-tip, never fall in love.

"So, next week same time?"

"Yeah, sure. See you then."

Routine, as it's become. Another woman to pass through his life, momentarily fulfil selfish desires, to have nameless faces leave to come again like clockwork. Distantly he could make out her footsteps, and the almost silent opening and shutting of his front door. Letting eyelids fall and leaning back to rest against the bed frame, a heavy sigh left his lips. When did it get this bad? When was the last time he'd felt... Whole.

Since Y/n, likely. Taking in another inhale of heavy smoke, lips clenched between the cigarette twitched at the thought of her. So... Damn sweet. Thinking about her, knowing how she'd react to seeing him like this, a mess, had him practically spit out the smoke. Putting it out carelessly at the ashtray that sat by his side.

So real. Unbelievable how real she felt, unlike any of the other women he's kept around him. Kept for a night, if kept is an appropriate word at all. They were blurs that served as gaps in his memory, hours if them amounted to no more than a handful of fuzzy colours and lights. That woman, no, who once was his woman he couldn't for the life of him forget a second in her arms, of her in his life.

So vividly he could make out hazy mornings of watching her chest rise and fall as her relaxed features radiated in the warm luster from early rays. Almost as serene as the specs of dust that wafted the air only visible by yellow dawn. Time with her was so eventful, so easy to find yourself in the present moment and just feel... In love.

But that was the fear wasn't it? Breaking out of thoughts his eyes fell to his illuminated phone, a notification. Curious, it was Ted. He was in town at the moment, but as far as he was concerned he was out with Shae... Shit, had he forgotten more plans today? This wouldn't be the first time.

'Jeremiah Schlatt call me back as soon as possible.'

That, accompanied with an hour's worth of missed calls, had his back straighten and rush of energy flood his body. Wasting no time dealing back, it couldn't have been more than three rings before the phone was picked up.

"Where the hell are you? I've been calling you for an hour– this is..!" His voice gruff and loud enough to resonate in his ears, consequently contributing to the growing of a dull pain within his frontal lobe. "I'm at home, sorry. Did we have plans today?" There was murmuring following his question, two voices discussing in a much softer, uneasy tone from what he could make out.

"Jesus, you sound out of it. Get some sleep I'll call you back tomorrow morning." There was the overly worrisome Ted he was more accustomed to, his voice returning to the phone with a complete one-eighty of tones. It practically sent him into whiplash, a twinge in his gut telling him something wasn't quite right. "Ted, what the fuck is going on? You don't just call people like that, where are you?" Hesitation highlighted the silence, he could practically hear him gulp as a reassuring female voice was at his side.

"I'm with Shae and..." His voice caught up in his chest, his girlfriend's murmurings being heard from the other end of the line even if unintelligible. "...We're at the hospital on 51st Street." I could feel my heart sink in my chest, "I'm on my way."

"Wait, wait, wait..!" He cleared his throat and halted in his steps, half naked and feeling the chill of the room after throwing himself out of bed. "...neither me or Shae are sick. I, I figured you had the right to know what's going on, but it's a delicate situation. I don't think it's smart for you to just show up out of the blue–" "Ted, what the fuck is going on?"

A breath was drawn, and the following words made it seem like his whole world had fallen apart. "It's Y/n. She just... Collapsed. She hasn't been eating I just... I didn't know who to call she's still stubborn but I don't think–" "I'm on my way." Before any protests could have been made the phone was hung up and the previously languid Schlatt was dashing round the place for his misplaced articles of clothing and his car keys.

The rest was a blur, with a conscious heavy with worry and thoughts centred around only her there were only flashes of memory of driving to the previously mentioned hospital (how he remembered he didn't know in that state); his brain was on autopilot.

And yet someway, somehow, he blinked and before him was the woman he once (and likely still) adored. Her skin paler than her usual tone, sunken and sullen. Her head tilted to the side, gaze pivoted towards the window. Her monotonous heart rate was barely audible, it was like he was underwater. Throat dry, neither said a word, his palms sweaty and pulse feeling as if it could burst his veins open.

"Y/n..." His voice low, knowing he had no place here, not after everything. He stood closer to the door than her, she seemed tense with him being there and he wasn't exactly relaxed either. Just as he spoke those words, he could visibly see her grip at her arms slightly tighter, her body at a slight tremble he recognized she would do before she cried. He hesitated to say anything else if his voice alone had already done so much.

"..what are you doing here..?" Her head slowly spun towards him, fully in view he could see just how worn down and tired she appeared. She was frail, eyes once filled with so much life now dreary with eyelids relaxed and harsh shadows under them; tears brimming and threatening to fall. Chapped lips with every lethargic movement seemed as if they were so heavy, as if she struggled to even open them. "...I heard. You..." Schlatt hesitated on his words, a little lost to find them.

"Save it." Whatever force she had left she used it to spit out those words, "I'm alright..." "Obviously not." He let out softly, carefully making his way over to sit at the chair by the foot of the hospital bed. "I just..." "Why did you come here?" Her voice strained asked with such desperation, confusion evident with tears ever present. He took a breath, "I came because I still care." And that was what it took to cause the surface tension to break and tears fully roll down her cheeks, unable to even manage reaching to wipe them away. "You came to lie to me." She choked out between broken sobs, he held such a gentle, caring look while she fought to not completely break down into ugly crying.

"No, no I didn't–" "cause if you cared I wouldn't be feeling this way." Her words spoke such conviction, eyes once saddened had an edge of power. The wrath and justified venom dripping from her words was enough to have the air catch in Schlatt's chest.

"You're right." He wouldn't deny it, everything that's happened up till now was a result of his own selfishness, never having the slightest thought about her. "I'm not here to make things right between us."

"...then..?"

"Y/n, I'm sorry." His head quickly dipped downwards, a prolonged pause was taken before a sharp inhale could be heard. "I'm not worth destroying yourself over." He didn't dare raise his gaze, knowing he'd be heartbroken at the sight that would lay before him.

"...why wasn't I enough for you..?" Hiccups between cries tearing at his heart, he clenched his teeth and shut his eyes tight. "You were more than I could have ever imagined." "I'm not... I couldn't be... I've seen the women you're around now..."

"And yet you're more beautiful then all of them." "...then why have you been so... cold?"

Cold, and cold was what he meant to be; pushing her away to save himself. Yes, she was too real; just like every other person he kept too close. One by one, they all did what he did to her: disappear.

He wanted so desperately to explain himself. Tell her stories of how other lovers had done a similarly cruel trick, family issues, people that were supposed to be there for him to rely on... But he couldn't. He was as bad as them, he hurt her tooth's extent because he couldn't handle commitment or trust.

She was the victim, no doubt in anyone's mind. Who was he to make this all about himself?

"I'm just not a relationship kind of guy, I... I should of said something, and for that I'm sorry. But please, please don't beat yourself up about this. If what we were is what's causing this."

She deserved to thrive, not to be weighed down by him.

At heart he was a good person, even if his actions didn't show as much. She didn't need to know, and he wasn't ready to get better.

[cherrylimeadebabe]

hi!! i've got a lil request for a oneshot: fake dating steve???

he's tired of robin & the kids laughing about his dating life and also wants to make clear he's over nancy so he asks reader (the cute girl who used to go to school with him and now works there as a TA) to be his fake girlfriend. she's all in bc how fun!! (and she's not shy so doesn't care about pda, iykwim) and is great at 'pretending' because she is actually into him. finally steve falls hard for her and asks her out for real.

❤️‍🔥

Just For Show: Steve Harrington X Reader

Word Count: 3.8K

Warnings: Underage Drinking

A/N: Hi love! Sorry this took me a little while, I really hope you enjoy it, any feedback is appreciated. <3

Steve pulls into the Hawkins High School parking lot, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel in time with the music lightly humming through his radio. He waits outside of the school entrance as droves of students emerge from the double doors, and after a few moments he can see Dustin coming out towards his idling car. 

“What’s new Henderson?” Steve questions, looking at Dustin through the rearview as he slings his backpack into the car and situates himself in the back seat.

 “Well, I’ve got a Geometry test this Friday, so aside from Hellfire I can look forward to inevitably bombing that! unless Suzy can coach me through my study guide.” Dustin shoots back in an ironically chipper tone.

 Steve lets out a breathless laugh as he turns around  “Hey man, at least you have a smart girl in your life to help you with stuff like that,” 

Dustin playfully raises his eyebrows at him, “Oh…You mean someone like Nancy?”

“Cut it out Henderson, I just meant that you’re lucky is all. Nancy and I barely-”

Steve is abruptly cut off by Robin poking her head into the open passenger window,

“Oh, we’re talking about Nancy again?”

“-Jesus Robin, maybe a hello or something first?!” Steve scolds, startled by her abrupt appearance.

“Oh, I’m Sorry! it just seems like every time I see you the first thing I hear about is Nancy this, Nancy that-“ Robin teases, knowing how easy it is to get a rise out of him.

Steve quickly shuts down Robin’s heckling, starting to get irritated and slightly raising his voice, “seriously? you’re gonna join in on this with him now? I’ve moved past it. Are we clear on that? Now get in, I don’t want to be late for work.”

Robin looks over at Dustin, the both of them grimacing, silently communicating that they both knew they set Steve off for real this time.

The drive to Dustin’s house is uncharacteristically silent. Steve hits the brakes just in front of Dustin's driveway, saying nothing, but promptly unlocking the car.

Dustin tries to cut through the tension, “Thanks for the ride man, I’m-uh sorry for bringing her up...just joking around y’know…” Letting out an awkward laugh as he opens the car door.

“Don’t worry about it, I know you and Robin aren’t being serious, and I’m sorry for kind of acting like a dick about it.”

Steve pursed his lips, pulling them into a half smile. He felt obligated to apologize despite the fact that his friends' constant teasing was starting to take a blow at his confidence. The second Dustin enters his house, Steve hits the gas, eager to get to Family Video. Robin looks over at him to notice he now has a concentrated expression. Although curious, she decides it’s best to save any conversation for when they get to work, when things have simmered down.

It’s a fairly slow shift for both Robin and Steve, having very few customers to attend to. The only responsibility left for them to focus on is stocking the shelves with new inventory. Steve hovers over the horror movie section, mindlessly holding a tape as his thoughts wander. Robin and the kids making his love life a punchline had him considering all sorts of ridiculous schemes, literally anything to prove to them that he was over Nancy and still in fact, had game. He already had his sights set on someone, but he would keep that to himself until he knew he could convince her to agree to his heinous plan under the guise of a “joke”. His contemplations are cut short by the chime of the store entrance, looking up to see (Y/N) walk right in, as if he manifested her presence at this exact moment.

Steve’s eyes light up the second he sees her, quickly stepping over to the register, “(Y/N)! Long time no see! In the market for some movies?!”

She was startled by Steve’s intense greeting, although happy to see him outside of the school parking lot for once.

“Well, people come here to rent movies, right Harrington?” She chuckled, looking at him with a bright smile.

“Uh-yeah, usually. You know I was hoping I’d run into you actually.” Steve admits, looking down, rubbing the back of his neck. (Y/N) didn’t think anything of what he had just said, assuming it was a typical favor a distant acquaintance might ask.

“Oh yeah? You looking for a new job or something? I mean I could put in a good word for you at the high school-“

“No, I’m not asking for any favors like that! Well, it kind of is a favor but-oh geez, this is going to sound extremely idiotic at best….” 

Steve leans over the counter lowering his voice, so Robin won’t overhear his outlandish proposition, “I was thinking that maybe you could help me out with this sort of…prank I have planned out. I would need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for it to make sense...” Steve trails off, looking up at her, brows scrunched as he chews on his lip. He thinks he’s already blew his shot, but before he can dwell on his nervousness, (Y/N) leans into the counter, inches from Steve’s ear,

“Really? Well tell me, what’s in it for me if I play along with this so-called prank of yours?” 

Steve’s face grew hot from the closeness and playful tinge in her voice.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with really, I mean I’d take you out of course, buy you dinner…you name it.” He held his breath, waiting for some sort of response. (Y/N) straightens back up, arms crossed, looking him up and down. a few moments of silence floating past. 

“Eh, what the hell, you’ve got yourself a deal Steve Harrington!”

Steve’s eyes widened in shock at the lack of convincing it took for her to oblige him.

“Wait, you’re actually agreeing to this?”

She shrugged at him, trying to hold back the grin forming on her face.

“Why not? Sounds like free entertainment to me. You and I would look pretty good together I think. Also while I’m here can you like, actually help me find a movie?”

She motions him to follow her over to the horror section, and he trails closely behind. Robin peers over from the edge of the sci-fi aisle, confused as ever after eavesdropping on the entire interaction the two of them had just had. Biting her tongue, she continued to organize the tapes, not sure whether to be embarrassed or impressed at Steve’s boldness. He sends (Y/N) off with a copy of Body Double, feeling giddy that his stupid plan went over so well. As the night came to a close and he was finally home, Steve found himself tossing and turning in bed. His head is filled with potential scenarios between (Y/N) and him. He pondered over how much she would be willing to commit to this act…How much would be allowed. Eventually he is able to silence his somewhat salacious fantasizing, and knocks out for the night.

Friday rolls around in a flash, and yet again Steve is driving Robin and Dustin home from school. He has to contain his excitement for the “date” he has planned with (Y/N) as well as the satisfaction of finally telling the gang he’s won the affection of someone new, or so it would appear.

“A girlfriend?! No way! Well good for you man.” Dustin commends Steve, Robin side-eyeing both of them.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that yet Dustin, if my guess is right I think this would be their first date.” She smirks, knowing Steve will inevitably clap back.

“No! We’ve been talking for like, weeks. I even met her parents already! This is a sure thing, I’m telling you.” 

Steve cringes at his own haphazard defense but figures Dustin is trusting enough not to question it, and he knew Robin would hyper analyze him no matter how solid of a story he had. After dropping them off, he starts heading toward (Y/N)’s neighborhood, the anticipation making his heart skip. Steve pulls into the driveway, quickly getting out and marching to the front door, ringing the doorbell right away. He steps back in awe as (Y/N) opens the door, wearing a white three quarter sleeve scoop neck top that hugged her figure, tucked into a black silk skirt. Her hair cascaded around her face that was adorned in a bright blush and cherry stain on her lips. Steve doesn’t bother hiding his blatant ogling, 

“Wow…you look amazing.” His compliment earning a smile from her.

“You’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself, Harrington. ” (Y/N) closes the door behind her and grabs Steve’s hand, leading him back to the car. 

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” He hints, backing out of the driveway.

(Y/N) is quite surprised when Steve ends up taking her to a little dive bar just outside of town, the brick building looking aged but brightened by the neon signs surrounding the entrance. She turns to Steve, eyebrows raised and curious,

“Although this is a fun idea, you know I don’t have a fake, right?” Steve chuckles, “What? You nervous? Look, I’ve been here before and they don’t card, you’ll be fine! Besides, I brought you here to dance, not just for drinks.”

 (Y/N) gives Steve a skeptical look, but figures there’s no harm in trying. 

“Whatever you say, baby,” she says in a saccharine tone, Steve taken aback by the pet name. The two of them exit the car and (Y/N) grasps Steve by the hand as they enter the bar. From the looks of the rather youthful clientele, it seemed like no one would bat an eye at the two of them up by the bar. Still, (Y/N) decided to look for a less populated corner for them to sit. She finds a small round table to situate herself and a few moments later Steve sits down, two cans of Miller Lite in hand. Although she wasn’t much of a beer drinker, she went with the flow. She scoots her chair closer to Steve, grabbing the beer. 

“So what made you decide to work at the high school? It feels like we were students there just yesterday.” 

Steve asks, leaning back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other. (Y/N) puts an elbow on the table and rests her face in her palm, sipping her drink with the other hand, “Well, you don’t need a degree and the pay is a little better than most of the work we have around here. I like it a lot actually! The days go by pretty fast since I’m always running errands. I will say though, it is a little weird being on the other side of it after just graduating.”

Steve chuckles at her confession, “Well I think it’s admirable, definitely a step up from scooping ice cream or working at a video store!”

 His self deprecation striking a chord with (Y/N),

 “Cut yourself some slack Steve, you’re doing just fine. I mean, you’ve been through so much more than most people our age and…” 

She stops, worrying that bringing up what happened last summer at the mall would make things tense. Steve looks up at her with vulnerable eyes, feeling a sudden wave of emotion. He was surprised that she was willing to hear about that side of him, the parts of his life that most people brushed off. It was strangely disarming.

“Hey, it’s okay. I appreciate that you don’t pretend it never happened like everybody else. Even my parents act like nothing has changed, but…I’ve moved on from it for the most part.”

He reassures her, trying to put on a brave face and hoping things segue back into something more lighthearted.

The conversation starts flowing more easily as the night goes on, a few drinks in. They discuss movies, (Y/N) being very well versed in the subject, Steve a more casual movie goer despite the fact he worked at the video store. Although their tastes differed, Steve would be more than eager to watch some obscure giallo film or grindhouse shlok if it meant he could spend more time with her. He felt his stomach flutter every time his ludicrous movie theories got a laugh out of her. Suddenly, (Y/N)’s eyes go wide as “Drive” by The Cars comes on, other patrons making their way to the dance floor.

“I love this song! You are gonna dance with me right now, Harrington.”

She gleefully rises from her seat, a hand outstretched to Steve. He obliges, fingers intertwining as she raises their joined hands in the air, leading the way. She playfully twirls around to face him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Steve’s breathing hitches at the contact, slowly lowering his arms to her waist. They gently sway back and forth to the music, their faces inches from each other. Steve’s eyes trail down to her lips, desperately wanting to bridge the gap between them, but his thoughts are halted at the sound of a familiar voice. He looks over to see Eddie Munson, third time senior, strolling into the bar with a few of his goons. (Y/N) turns to look at them, a lightbulb going off in her head. She looks back up at Steve with a smile on her face, ”Hey, Steve?”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to get distracted, I can be a terrible dance partner sometimes-”

He’s cut off by (Y/N) grabbing his face and pulling him into an intense kiss, making sure there were plenty of eyes on the two of them. It was an electric shock to his senses, something he had wanted to do himself all night. His grip on her waist tightened as she pulled away. He had to remind himself it was simply for show now that they had a familiar audience, but he couldn't help wanting her to do it again.

“That’ll get them talking, huh?” 

(Y/N) laughed, her eyes glistening and reflecting the glow of the green and purple colored lights above the dance floor. They kept on dancing, Steve absolutely mesmerized by her face in the dim lighting. Perhaps it was his slight drunkenness, but he couldn’t stop thinking of kissing her all over right then and there on the dance floor.

He thought about that kiss for the rest of the night. Once the bar died down and he had sobered up, they began the drive back to Hawkins. The ride was rather quiet aside from the sound of the radio and engine. (Y/N) had her head leaned against the window, visibly tired after an exciting but long venture. She smiled to herself, thinking that she could get used to sitting pretty in Steve’s car all of the time, even if it was just to keep up his act. Steve had thoughts of his own, feeling foolish as ever for finding himself under her spell. It felt irresponsible, he told himself that he only wanted to get everybody off of his back, that he didn’t actually want to get this close to someone again, and that despite her playing the part perfectly, there was no way that (Y/N) would be interested in actually dating him. He turns up the radio, trying to drown out his self doubt. A few miles later, they pull into her driveway, Steve making sure to shut off his headlights so he doesn’t disturb her family inside. They both look over to each other, Steve still gripping the steering wheel with one hand. (Y/N) can see the thoughts racing through his head from the look on his face alone. She leans in to give him a light peck on the cheek, quietly opening the car door and whispering,

“I had a wonderful time tonight. Drive safe, okay?”

Steve watches her unlock the front door of her house, pulling out of the driveway once she was inside. He kept replaying the moment in his head on the way home. Was she just being polite? She didn’t have to kiss him goodnight, but she did, even when there was no one to see. Was she just fully committed to playing the role? If only (Y/N) knew how oblivious he truly was, perhaps the coming weeks would have been a lot less confusing for both of them.

As the weeks went by, almost everyone in Steve’s social circle was convinced that the relationship was legitimate, and he had no plans of telling his friends the truth. He took (Y/N) on movie dates, roller skating, and even attempted to make dinner for her. He may have been a subpar cook, but (Y/N) was very flattered by his efforts. Their public displays of affection weren’t slowing down either, (Y/N) finding any reason she could to steal a kiss or have his hand in hers. Every time she was around Steve, she could feel herself wanting to get even closer to him. She felt like their “relationship” was becoming something real, and tangible, but she wondered why he hadn’t made a move yet….surely her hints were coming through? She knew that she wasn’t imagining the new level of intimacy between them. The way their kisses lingered, how he looked at her with longing eyes, listening to every word she said when she spoke of her passions and fears. She desperately wanted to know that he felt it too, but something was pulling at her within, telling her to wait it out. It all came crashing to a head later that week.

Another Friday, another date night. This one more casual than the usual, Steve renting a tape of After Hours and ordering a pizza. As he’s tidying up the living room, the doorbell rings and he drops everything to answer it, knowing it’s (Y/N). He was practically vibrating from his nerves, but he tried his best to mask it when he opened the door.

“(Y/N)! I think you’re really gonna like the movie I picked for tonight,”

She flashes a soft smile at him as she enters his home, the two of them heading over to the living room. (Y/N) makes herself comfortable on the couch, Steve going into the kitchen to grab two plates and dimming the lights in the living room when he returns.

The faint glow of the television lit their faces as Steve popped the tape in, taking a close seat next to (Y/N) on the couch.

“Have I influenced your taste in movies, Steve? Or did you just happen to know this is one of my favorites?” She questions playfully, knowing that it probably wasn’t a coincidence.

“I may have asked around for this particular occasion aha, I-uh I actually did wanna see this one though,” Steve confesses, shuffling around on the couch, trying to get comfortable. He felt a lump forming in his throat as he tried to contain what he wanted to say, stalling for the moment to feel right. His plans to wait it out would be quickly thwarted by (Y/N), as she could sense that he was on the cusp of finally saying what they were both thinking, if she could work it out of him. She could admit to herself that she was just as, if not more stubborn than Steve, but she was going to get it out of him first, regardless. She turns to face him,

“What does this particular occasion happen to be?”

Steve Freezes. She puts him on the spot, and he realizes he’s already been caught. There’s a few beats of silence between them, Steve taking a deep breath before letting everything spill out.

“(Y/N)....There’s been something on my mind a lot lately….I um, I just don’t want to freak you out or anything, but it’s been driving me crazy hiding it from you. I know that this whole thing we’ve been doing is just for show, and maybe you just agreed to it purely for entertainment, or maybe to have a crazy story to tell later on, but-”

(Y/N) grips him by the shoulders, looking him dead in the eyes,

“Steve! Please, for the love of god, just say what you really want to say! You can tell me anything, really.”

“I don’t want to pretend anymore!” He blurts out, looking away for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb.

“I just-I don’t want it to be pretend anymore, okay? The time we’ve spent together has been so wonderful, I can’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun with someone. I know at first it was just to make me look good to my friends, but somewhere along the way I let myself get so caught up in it….so obsessed with you, that I forgot you aren’t actually my girlfriend.” Steve drops his hands to his thighs, lowering his head in embarrassment. (Y/N)’s hands trail down from his shoulders to clasp his hands,

“Steve….I stopped pretending a while ago.”

He looks up at her, mouth half open. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that I’m not crazy?! You feel it too?”

“Yes, Steve. I thought it was obvious. I was just waiting for you to say something!”

Steve’s hands release from hers to dramatically smack his forehead,

“Why didn’t YOU say something?! I was over here thinking you had no interest in actually pursuing me!”

(Y/N) laughs at Steve’s revelation, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

“Oh, come on! Was making out with you every chance I got not clear enough? Or, you know, hanging out with you….ALONE! The whole point of your “prank” was for people to see us! I just wanted to hear you admit it first.”

Steve can’t help but laugh and shake his head at his own cluelessness.

“Wow, and I thought I was hard headed! You are something else (Y/N).”

(Y/N) smiles, suddenly pushing Steve down on the couch to hover over him,

“And that’s exactly why you’re….what was it you said? Obsessed with me?”

The two of them laugh into each other as Steve cups his hands around her face to kiss her. They were all over each other for what seemed like the rest of the night into dawn. Any doubt Steve had of (Y/N)’s feelings towards him melted away, and (Y/N) herself was ecstatic that they were finally on the same page. Everything seemed to fall into place, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, Steve wasn’t afraid to give himself to someone again, to let someone see every part of him. He wanted that someone to be (Y/N), always.

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Clone high season 3!!!!!! Let’s goooooo!!!!!

Episode 1

Joan is being exulted from the group :( also Jesus is here!!! I miss him..

Omg roll call song!!! Joan pls let them sing. Jackie the ripper….. Grell Sutcliff vibes. Ohg Vincent!!!!! The blorbo…

Oh yeah, the new teacher is definitely suspicious, and that new guy and Harriet are totally gonna be a thing. For some reason Abe and JFK feel a bit off? Also the husbands…I love them.

His I forgot what it’s like to laugh at jokes in a show…

😔 rip to jfgosh….maybe…

Honest to god I too would also try to pick a color before graffiti it…I now love the bench creatures

The eyeball scene….gross.

Random person in the hat, I love you.

Why do people think Joan try to kill them? Like yeah, she throw everyone in a pit, but then they were led to a room to be brainwashed??? I can understand them think the pit would kill them or something but???? Murder?????

Episode 2

Cinnamon being a rising star of snorkeling but flailing, Mr b a sex worker who ran away from home…….the elements for a hurt/comfort fanfic are here…..👀👀

Maybe it’s just me, but this painting reminds me of Saint Sebastian. It might be the arrows?….

Marie….NooOOOOOOOO. (I literally screamed seeing her knees) tho it make me wonder, marries can fully speak with her head off. Can clone just, not die? Is this just silly cartoon logic, or can clone can lose body parts and keep going? If that’s the case then thats a major reason why Joan’s mom want to clones to be leaders, they could be physically be un-killable.

Everyone wanting to get out of their small rural/supern town….Mood. Pls pls pls let there be an indie type coming of age romance or friendship episode!!! Pls pls.

Abe going a sport team!! Again!!! JFK doing more sports!!! It’s cool to see Abe, JFK, and Confusious as a trio. And to see Abe not being romance focused, JFK too.

Vince trying out for cheerleading, Genghis too <3

It’s kind of weird to see Harriet as the cheer leader captain? I thought it would be Cleo since that more of a mean girl/popular stereotype? Harriet taking the mean girl role feels weird? Like last season she was a nervous theater kid who wants friends? Now she the cheer captain??? But also snappy. She the mean smart girl??

Cleo charter moment!!!!!!! Her caring about Frieda’s art and respect it!!!!

I love this episode

Episode 3

:( did JFK not have an accent anymore? It goes and goes..

Catherine the great x Anna Boleyn 👀 👀 oh that a cute ship!!! Also LGBT background characters let’s gooo!!!!!!

“I’ll happy let you take my virginity” Abe…ABE.

JFK not like the label “slut” :(

Oh my god is bi/pan jfk going be canon??? Also hella Abe x jfk vibes, nice

Christian rock…..do you think Jesus clone would be weird out by this music or like it?

Side note, Vincent isn’t an active Blecher Creature. So if he’s not that, not popular, is he middle ground? Are all the background characters just….middle ground?? (I’m thinking to much of the logic here)

Abe x JFK…:..boyfriends/QPR real <3

The whole “jfk didn’t want to do sex/be seen as a slut/want to do more things in life” is like, a good premise but the execution on this episode???? :/ idk.

Clone Cleo x 2 and cloe Frida x 3. 👀 👀

Oh neat, my thoughts about how other schools/people outside of Exclamation Point don’t know that clones exist!!!!

Abe did you puke that ring out or something else???

Episode 4

Oh neato, that how Harriet texts!!! It’s always cool to find out how fictional characters text and talk to people!! (That and it makes chat fic more realistic if you cope the canon way characters text)

The husbands have sex dolls of each other….👀👀

HE IS NOT THAT BUFF I REFUSE to believe that’s canon

Confucius breaking up with Harriet. I mean, I don’t think looking at another man is cheating? But it’s nice to know that is isn’t in the wrong or did anything bad, well beside the whole bear thing.

Episode 5

Oh, so Confucius and Jain are fake dating…

Oh my god there doing a manic pixie dream girl…

JFK and Abe nothing seeing and hearing the shoulder angels and demons…..👀👀

Mr B acting more human <3

SKUNKY POO IS A GIRL?????

Harriet’s dance outfit is cute.

Ok, Joan and Confusious talking by the water, then then dancing was super cute. Also Abe and Mary? They seems like a cute couple. Also skinny poo and cinnamon dancing in the rain was nice (wish it was Mr b tho… :( )

Oh nice, Harriet and what’s his name ended on good terms! I was afraid they were going to fight.

Ennui = a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction. 👀 JFK having these feelings because the shoulder angel and devil aren’t there, representing inner conflict. 👀 👀

I really like Confusious’s character growth, he’s not into technology to find praise and company. He’s friends with Abe and JFK and him and Joan dating seems….healthy? Tho I do wish Joan stay single, 2 out of 3 seasons she’s been dating someone and it would be cool to see her be herself and do things she likes to do.

[emeraldties]

Are you Happy? Cour 2 Review:

This is fine. We're fine.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR TIGER AND BUNNY COUR 2 BEWARE.

I'm a changed man after all this I'll tell you that. This is gonna be kinda long so... read at your own peril lol

Chronologically, this is a mess but whatever. I need to get this out there before I explode and accidentally spoil this for my friend.

We're starting off positive because we're making a sandwich right now and I really did enjoy this season. It definitely took a turn that I did NOT expect in a million years.

Fire Emblem. I loved their characterization in the Rising and this season in particular. That scene where they are talking to Keith about their suits was *chef's kiss*. How, despite amassing a successful company, when they became a hero they worried about what it took to be a hero. To have people look to you for protection, to feel safe in your company. It lends credence to the eventual conclusion Kotetsu comes to at the end of the season about what being a hero is. I loved every conversation between FireSky.

I want to know the source of Barnaby's new disability. I just wanna know. Phantom pain? Hundred power putting stain on a weakened knee. I MUST KNOW.

Oh, how the tables have turned. It's Kotetsu's turn to bridal carry Bunny.

Mattia... really had me going there was a second. Jesus Christ. I was sweating. Not again. Not again, please.

Blue Rose. I also really enjoyed her characterization this season especially. We meet her in season one as a hot-headed kid who just wanted to be a pop star, and now, we get to see her become an amazing hero. My little girl has grown up brooooo I'm so proud.

She's become so mature and her outlook on life has broadened in a lot of ways, specifically regarding her crush on Kotetsu (which I think we all, as kids, have had crushes on adults. It's up to those adults to not take advantage of those feelings if they do notice... which Kotetsu doesn't, not that he would ever do anything if he did). She let her feelings wash over her, and made healthy friendships with the other heroes to the point where her feelings for Kotetsu became something in the background. She didn't stop liking Kotetsu, she just accepted that it wouldn't happen. And I don't think season 1 Karina would have accepted that conclusion... you know with the whole "how to bag single dads" thing lol.

Golden Ryan? I'll kiss your boots any day

Kid. I love her. She's my child. It's whatever. Adoption papers signed. Shion hairclip is given. Been my kid for 7 years.

Origami and Bison's relationship is just so funny to me. I don't know why. It just is. They're stupid. They're too smart for their own good. They're buddy heroes.

Me and the homies know the real villains of this season were the Mayor and the police. Ouroboros just played their cards right.

Fuck you Mayor whatever and your approval ratings. Your son's a NEXT but I bet he didn't get shoved into a dingy little camp now did he? Segregation? I can't believe I'm saying this, but if Maverick were here this would have never happened. He had that man's balls in a chokehold. Sorry. Rant over.

I love you Doc Saito and your crowded little coffin of a lab.

Bunny, Tiger, and Lunatic teaming up? When I tell you I screamed. I fucking SCREAMED.

Okay. Now for the... NEGATIVES. Sorry. BIG SPOILER MASSIVE SPOILER TIME.

Yuri Petrov deserved better. I don't know what else to say. But also I knew that his arc would either end in death or reformation. I just wish it was the latter. I probably have more to say, but I haven't fully articulated it yet. But I'm sad.

The Nemochild's (I forgot her name) motive was a bit... lackluster. Hotness can't make up for everything I suppose.

I wish we had more work put into her in Cour 1, like Mugan and Fugan and Brahe, then maybe I wouldn't have felt nothing when she died.

Now, this is the Taibani nitpicker within me, so it's not a genuine criticism, more of a wish than anything else. I wish Kotetsu had gotten his hands on Mattia's drug in the middle of the fight and injected himself with it to save Barnaby. I think that would have been more dramatic and it would have made more sense why he lost his powers in the end. Because the drug would have unforeseen consequences, instead of the All Might "I used up all my reserves of power" moment.

Also, I'm gonna need some answers on this segregation thing. Conclusion? Please?

No drinks? No dinner? I've been robbed. And so has Kotetsu.

Not enough Ben. That's the real fatal flaw of this season. 0/10.

I said this was a sandwich so back to the POSITIVES:

I'm really interested in the way Tiger and Bunny depict abusive parents.

I think we see that with Yuri, Barnaby, and Cat. There is a bittersweetness. A soft underbelly to these incredibly strong characters. Despite all that their respective parents have put them through, there is still the ghost of fondness there. A refusal to treat their parents with the same flippancy toward their feelings their parents had all their lives.

Barnaby still keeps a picture of Maverick on his table, he got what he wanted. His parents' killer is dead. But that doesn't change the fact that Maverick had been his only pillar of support for so many years. Even if it was all fake. It's a trophy of a pyrrhic victory that he can't bear to give up or look at.

I was struck by how gently Yuri treated his mother. In season one, there is love there, but also betrayal in both parts. She blames her son for protecting her, and he blames her for not protecting him or herself. He regards her with coldness and resentment.

In this season, he seemed to have lost his fight. He brushes her hair, he doesn't argue, he agrees with whatever she says, he's attentive. In a lot of ways, he's forgiven her in a way she will never forgive him. But he hasn't forgotten. But he's gentle.

His relationship with his father is different. It's tainted. There's guilt. Grief. Sadness. Relief. Resentment. Love. It's a lot. I'm sure my heartbroken Yuri stans can articulate this better than I can.

Cat, she's the only one with an abusive parent who is alive, but she has shown tremendous strength. For the most part, she talks to a brick wall. Her mom doesn't take no for an answer. She pushed her daughter into a job that is made for adults but continuously treats her like an infant. She is a weird amalgamation of a helicopter parent and a negligent one... she's a beauty pageant mom. except with more guns and life-threatening situations.

Cat exerts her autonomy, she branches away from her mother and rebels against the very ideals that she had tried to instill in her. at the end of the day, your child is not a mini you, don't treat them like they are. And Cat's arc wasn't about admitting her mom was wrong for treating her that way, it was about telling her, putting her foot down, and standing up for herself. No take-backs, no backpedaling. Which is sometimes the hardest thing you can do, especially as a kid.

(still, her mom had every right to insist that she come along with her child to a CAMP filled with random people. She's still 13.)

Tiger found out about Mr. Legend. TIGER FOUND OUT ABOUT MR. LEGEND. And got a bit pissy about the fact that Yuri insinuated that he was anything like his father, and honestly, I think that was a really in-character response from both of them. Kotetsu wasn't tactful, and Yuri was accusatory. I really liked that conversation because it wasn't perfect, in a lot of ways they didn't say the "right" thing. And that made it all the more well-written.

THEY WENT ROGUE. BROOOOOOOOOO. AGHHHHH. TOGETHERRRRR. I'm not crying.

Barnaby is. That goes in positives. I just wish they animated Barnaby's tears because we've established that Kotetsu can really discern Barnaby's emotions with his eyes. It isn't a season end without a few blubbery tears and a bridal carry.

WHEW. I'm done. Holy shit. I feel like I haven't scratched the surface of what I think but I guess that's what ao3 is for.

There are a lot of loose ends, and I don't know if they will be tied. Crossing my fingers for a season 3 or a movie because I think they really have introduced a lot of cool concepts that I would like to see explored.

At the end of the day, I've just got a genuine love for all these characters, and I've loved this show since I was 13. Now I'm older, and a little nostalgia addled. And maybe that makes me see things through some rose-tinted cat frame glasses. But I gotta ask you guys;

Are you happy?

[carpenoctemnyx]

Every single little moment in NPMD in order that just scratches my brain in the best way. I mean tbh the whole show does, but these moments are what the tism is grasping onto.

(WARNING: Its a LOT of moments, so theyre all under the cut since the post is so fuckin long)

"And I can survive it for only so long"(all of them)

The "im so fucking dead" from the ensemble during steph and pete's convo

"'CHEATER!!' 'OH GOD BUTT OUT CHASITY!!'"

"My melody! My melody! My melody"

"AWOOO! AWOOO! RAWR!"

"Grace just be cool! NEVER!"

"Im so fucking dead! YEAH!!"

"No! I wanna be invisible! Then why do you come to a public school dressed in suspenders and a fuckin bow tie?"

"Sycamore? I'd rather starve to death."

"Oh my god!! YOU'RE Micro-Peter! Oh, god."

"This outfit it the tapestry of my trauma!"

"Anyone every do this? *snap* Every damn day. My titties are tenderized!"

"It's polish."

"Spankoffski! Who are you running from? Ehh."

"He's straight ahead!"

"You wont defeat his kind. Never look in the eye. He's a literal monster!"

"Everyone knows how he BANGS!"

"He roars, and we cry, hes the reason with no why. He's a literal monster! A damn literal monster!"

"It's 3rd period, Shit-lips. I gotta get to remedial algebra."

"I never intended to walk through your hallway. Ohhh well theres a difference between intent and impact."

"FUCKNUGGET!!"

"Haha YEAH! NO dumbass!"

"Ohhh sorry! Fresh out of your favorite food! I guess im just gonna have to flick it!"

"Ohhhh a two bagger? Hahahaha! Whats a two bagger?"

"Oh!! That's so sick bro! Thats so fuckin funny! PYAHHH *punch sound*"

"Get him up!! Get this fucker up!!"

"Now deposit this trash in the nearest receptacle."

"Haha haha hahaha! Spunk! You're funny."

"*appalled* carry my books!?"

"Chasity, come on! You're breakin my balls."

"You dont know me very well, do you??"

"Watch some p0rn! You'll see! Tell me im wrong dirty girl. Dont call me that!"

"My little dirty girl *that one audience member OHHH*"

"And his name is Jesus Christ!"

"Forbidden fruit, dick hole!"

"You can leave, but you wont, stay in your seat!"

max's lil dance when hes singing "better leave your hopes behind no ones gonna stop me" that leads into that lil airplane arms move

also including the dance move with kyle "you wont defeat his kind, never look in the eye"

"You can watch as i rise! I will claim what is mine!"

"Learn to multi-task!"

"Well, well. If its not my october surprise."

"Stephanie, please, I'd like to have an intelligent conversation with you. In other words, shut up."

"Hooow ominous"

"Hey that looks like my... phone. It is."

"Please daddy?"

"NOO!! *dives forward and shoves hand in the way* Did you just put your hand BETWEEN the hammer and the phone??? ...yeah..."

How... am i supposed to study withOUT LISTENING TO SPOTIFY!?!? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?? YOU'RE KILLING ME WITH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! If only, Stephanie. If only."

"This project's on thermo-dynamics. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"God! I just want someone to touch me! Anyone, PLEASE! Jesus! Calm down Ruth."

"Somebody walks to the office with Stephanie LauTer and suddenly he's Stefan Urquelle."

The way Richie Says peTe and uuusing you

"What was it like when she touched your arm? DID YOU CUM??? Ruth! Quit it!"

The way Richie says peTeR

"I'll never hold the real Rei and Asuka in my arms"

The way Pete says "Sorry!" To Ruth when his phone is ringing

The way Richie says TelemArkeTer

"NANI!?!?" *Ruth and Richie creeping towards Pete*

"What is she saying? What the FUCK is she saying!?"

"Oh my god!! Oh my god!! What's the matter with you guys!?"

"WEEOO WEEOO!!"

"I'm actually the smart one in the group, if you can believe that."

"Really Ruth? A star wars analogy? Need i go into why Attack On Titan is superior in EVERY possible way!?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Excuse me? Uh, not you. Just these two FUCKING nerds that wont leave me alone."

"They dont call it a cram session for nothing! Watch some p0rn! You'll see!"

"You're telling me I gotta be funny, AGAIN? I didnt do it on purpose the FIRST time!"

The way Richie says opportunity. It sounds like opportudidy

"Thats your perspective"

"Oh whoa whoa oh"

Then again im deranged"

"What if people see me as someone other than who I am"

"If i can finally be cool i will know that im not a loser!"

"I'm the ruler!"

"OHHHH! *crowd cheers* SHUT UP!"

"EUGH!! So you're a POOR piece of shit then?"

"Well im sick of your sh-sh-shit"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP JASON!!"

"I dont give a fuck what she said! I did not consent to this rendez-voos!"

"I decide if Kyle can date Brenda. *turns to Jason* The answer's still no... by the way!"

"I willed it into existence"

"Im your God. Now on your knees, bitch. It's time to say your fuckin prayers! *cuts to the Chasitys* Amen!"

"Mmm, that house. What's wrong with it? Its haunted. Everyone says so."

"DAD GROSS!!"

"Mom will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? Eheh I just want some head and butter. BREAD! BREAD! Bread and butt sex to go with this big shaft of meat im gonna choke down. Ohhhh boy. Oh criminy!"

"And theyre flyin reaaal low today"

"Some big, dumb, sexy, sweaty, hooot, football star"

The way Grace says "Hello??" When fantasy Max is calling her name

"Im hungry, and here you are brewing up a big ol' pot of dirty girl soup *siffs aggressively* ahhhh! My favorite!"

"You call my bath water dirty girl soup? This is wrong! This is sooo wrong"

"I know!" *max rips off his jacket and the crowd screams*

"I love... to FUCK!"

The entirety of Dirty Girl Soup song but extra extra emphasis on certain parts

"Hey boo, daddy needs a little of that dirty soup"

"You're lookin all filthy like, you know its wrong i know its right"

"I'll never ever tell ya to behave i am expecting you to be-betray me"

"Ima love you all night long" including Max's lil hip thing

"Oh! Dirty dirty girl wont you sing for me wont you love me like you dont care. (all of these esp the ones with Grace)

"Hey brute"

"Its clear you never stepped in a classroom" including Grace's lil dance move here

The way Grace says School

"For shame. I am expecting you to be-behave" including Grace's lil dance move here too

"On your knees pray along, if you wanna last until dawn"

And then the dirty dirty girl section including the dance

"RAH-AHH" *hand wave thing* and the second one of this too

"Got me hungry for more. Hungry for more."

"Im a im a im a good girl x4 WHO ON OCCASSION GETS DIRTY!!"

Again cue the dirty dirty girl bit + dance

Grace's lil shaky moan thing after "poisons the air"

"Damn these wandering hands! Damn these sinful loins!"

"This is a no-moan household!"

".....I'll get the plunger...."

"Girl! That must be so embarrassing for you."

"Standing up the mayor's daughter like he's got no fucks to give? Not gonna lie. Thats really sexy."

"Oh my god! The fucking bowtie kid??"

"Hey uh... dweeb! *both Richie and Ruth respond* yeah?"

"Oh shes touching meee! Luckyyyy!"

"Its better than i even imagined" *cute lil twirl*

"And what, pray tell, may that be, Stephanie?"

"God, you suck, Grace."

"Isn't this like breaking and entering? Im not breaking anything. My dad's the realtor!" *jingles keys*

"Hacked em to bloody bits!"

"PottyPants? How about PissyPants? Im not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language."

"Im not comfortable with this place. Its not structurally sound."

"Don't bully me!"

The whole Bully the Bully song but extra extra emphasis on specific parts

Grace's lil snap and spin moment

"Petey gonna jump on out" *Pete's lil move here*

Ruth saying "we're gonna cut off his nips!" And then Richie's lil shimmy move

"Ahhhhahhhh"

"Richie the whole point is that its in the dark! Well then im gonna have to shoot the whole thing in a wide, and its gonna look like shit!"

"No! We're gonna be cool beans. We're gonna keep the beans cool. We're gonna gonna keep the beans, beans the cool, keep the beans, the cool, keep the beans, bean school. Beans school? Excellent!"

"I still wanna talk.... Hello...? Hello....? Hello? Who was that? My boyfriend! Sounded like a telemarketer. Okay, my EX boyfriend."

"You're the best friend ive ever had. Oh thats sad. I think im in love with you. Okay..." *walks away*

"Am i reading as ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?"

"You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown. Ohhh. But that could still work, he gets pretty scary sometimes."

Ruth's lil butt wiggle

"I mean you could just hit it and quit it, bro! Yeah... I dont want to though... You're fuckin useless pete!"

When Max walks up and burps and says "i gott piss" and this does a cute lil bouncy move

"Oh shiiiit. Wheres that creepy music comin from?"

"do it alfuckinready"

"Who's there? Maaaaax Jagermannn. WHAT!?"

"Oh shit! Oh fuck! Its a fuckin ghost!"

"Its time to stop running!" *chugs bear and smashes the can on his head and yeets it, then puts up his fists* "float over here ghost,* starts punching the air* im gonna kick your fucking ass!"

"Uhhh you cant fight me im an etheral being soooo... we'll see about that. Ima make you say boo-hoo, bitch! *charges at pete and pete runs away screaming* YESSSS I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR!!! I AM JAGERMAAAAAN!!! I AM GOOOOD!!!! GOOO NIGHTHAWKS!!!"

*skele-ruth runs ins and does her lil scream thingy* "oh shit! Oh fuck! I didnt think there'd be a skele'en here! Im so fucking scared of skele'ens! Maybe i should just run! Where, Max?? Back home so Dad can call you a little cuck?? Can't even fight off one lousy skele'en?? No! I got not choice! Hey, Skele'en! I got a bone to pick with you, bitch!"

"It's working for me! He's sooo violent!"

Ruth's lil yelp after steph tells max to stop

"Steph we cant have a party here! This place is hella haunted!"

"It's all a prank. A trick to scare the shit out of you cuz you deserve it. What??? You're telling me you nerds put this whole thing together just for me? Wow. I though you guys hated me. But thanks. This was really great. You're not pissed? Oh! Are you kidding?? Nonono this is like THE nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"Ohhhh! And the skele'en. Oh. That was really special" *Max bows to Ruth*

"Look what you fuckin nerds made me do! I pissed my fucking pants! ....mission accomplished???" *Pete signaling to cut it out and Ruth and Grace behind him like wtf Richie*

"This wasnt murder! And it wasnt an accident! It was an act of God!"

"Oh yeah! Like thats gonna hold up in court! He was smote!"

Grace's snap and spin again and Richie groaning "oh nooo shes snapping again!!"

"We're gonna hack all his limbs off! Did you say hack all his limbs off?? Yeah! We're gonna hack all his limbs off!"

"You want me to films this!?!?!?!"

"Aaahhhahhhh"

"Thank god Max is gone. Wasnt he your friends?? YEAAAAHHHH but he forbade me from dating, AND he wrecked my dad's Ski-Doo. FUCK that guy."

"Good news! You passed the test?? With flying colors! Oh-ho! Aaaaaa C+"

"Ya know, this is really your C+. Oh... Steph... you can keep it. It'd really bring down my GPA."

"No, Jagerman doesnt let nerds go to footba-... huh... you know maybe i will."

"Go, go Nighthawks! We'll take the fight unto the victors go the spoils! Go, go Nighthawks! We're taking flight we are the leaders and the royals! AHH-AHH!" Including the lil bird wing flappy thing

"N! I-G! H-T! AHH-AHH! KS!"

And the dudes in the background goin "Night! Hawks! Night! Hawks! Fly!"

"Fuuuck you Clivesdale go get fucked! You're fuckin losers, and we'll kill you! Kill your ass!"

They're my bros for life!"

Richie struggling to take off the mascot costume

"Ohhh. I remember what /I/ said. Do you? You FUCKIN NERD?"

"That aint good news for you, ya bitch"

"You shouldve joined the smoke club, you nerdy prude! NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE! *cue Jon bein fuckin goated at imitating a levitation* Nerdy prudes must diiiie!"

"I want you to repeat after me. Okay... Who will pray for me? Who will pray for me? When im gone? When im gone? Until another Richie, comes along. Can you repeat that one? WHO WILL PRAY FOR MEEE WHEN IM GONNNE OR IS THIIIIS THE ETERNAL DARK WITHOUT A DAWN! Who will pray for you? Who will pray for me? When your body's gone? When my body's gone? This is the consequence for what you've done! I'M NOT A LOSER! WHAT DID YOU SAY!?! ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵏᶦˡˡ ᵐᵉ. Im not a nerdy prude. Im not a loser! Of course nooot, Richiiie."

“He wasn’t sexy at all… MAMA IM CURED!!!”

“Shoot n shinola!”

“Mornin Daaaaadddy!”

“You don’t say? You don’t say! Welllll I’ll be down there in a jiffy! What did they find dad? They didn’t say!”

“Gosh! I hope it’s not termites! Haha”

“Ohhhh heck. I’m so heckin fudged!”

When the gang is getting called to the principals office and Pete just says “oh no” in like a monotone-y way

“Dont look at me! Get your hands out of your pockets! ….sorry sir….”

The reluctant “go nighthawks”

“Shut the fuck up Ruth!”

“We lost to CLIVESDALE!! FUCKIN *kicks chair* CLIVESDALE!!!”

“Yeahhh… thanks for NOTHIN!!!”

“Yes Ruth! We are fucked!”

“People tell me to die everyday!”

“Someone spilled the beans! All our cool beans!”

Again Ruth’s “Don’t bully me!!”

Pete’s lil “no” when Grace accuses him

“I’m gonna get those pigs off our backs!”

“Shock! Despair! Tragedy!"

“I’ve never known darker times, and I covered the protest live at the Hatchetfield Kennel! I am Dan Reynolds! With action news, week days at 10pm.”

And down down down down, who’s swinging the hatchet now in hatchet town! Someone’s got their hands on the hatchet handle. Swingin on the youth it’s a hatchet scandal. Careful or your folks will end up a cannibals plate. It ain’t great! You’re better on the run than you are hiding, suddenly this quiet town’s exciting.”

“I heard that their brains were soup, their intestines cut in two. So it’s gotta be Donna! What??? Yeah it’s gotta be Donna! DAAAAN!?!?!”

“I certainly don’t LOVE killing”

“Barry’s on the loose and he’s got a gun, and he’s got a motive to kill. IM IN A HURRY!!!”

“Get your hands off me!!!”

“Careful or your kids will end up on Charlie’s plate. Excuse me?? He just ate! How dare you!”

“Singing all these songs gives him greater windows to kill, but we’re singing still!!”

And now THIS PART. The ENTIRETY OF BRYCE CHARLES’ SOLO. It’s fucking transcendent!!!

“Until GERALD! went on his murder spreeeee! I KNEW IT WAS GERALD!! Linda, call my lawyer. Let’s kill him!!”

“Can I shit or will I drown??”

“Ohhhh barbecue monologues, eh? I saw that in New York. Really? How was it? Fuckin ✨transcendent✨”

Joey's whole monologue thing here but extra emphasis on “Every Kah-bob”

“I wanna remember who I am….”

Trevor’s “My barbecue!”

*ruth throws hands up* “I guess!”

“Betcha I could do it! Betcha I could!”

“in my dream, it’s MY barbecue!” *ruth’s little arm wave thing*

“How can something be medium AND well?”

“All of the trappings of the well to-do!”

“And life is fine, if only it were mine.”

“Judge me!”

“And the world’s a stage, when you’re middle of age.”

“It’s well done on the outside, not within! OOOH!”

“Oh ohhh just for once! Just for once! Just for oooooonce!”

Ruth’s cute lil tap dance move

“I used to dance. I used to dance”

“Oh nooo my anxiety *gags* I’m gonna hurl!”

“I believe your next line is AAAAHHHH”

“Project Ruth! They can’t hear you in the back row! Ow, my butt! You’re splitting me in two!”

Max slowly putting the “underwear” over Ruth’s head and then petting her

“Take a bow, bitch!”

The theater director’s dramatic screaming

“No nonono! You can’t do this to me okay?? This isn’t my fault! This isn’t my plan! Woah woah woah who’s place was it Grace? IT WAS GODS PLAN!! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! DO SOMETHING YOU SON OF A BITCH!!”

“Don’t! FOLLOW ME!”

“And he gives me his numberrrr! Very smooth!”

“EXCUSE ME! *audience screaming* I have been waiting for what feels like five fucking years and I STILL have not received my goddamn hot chocolate! Sorryy sir *deadpans fake spitting* here you go. …thank you….”

“MY dad sells women’s shoes!”

“Don’t spin this back on meee”

“Because you’re crazy about me. …..WHAT!?”

“On the first date, Steph? Have some respect for yourself!”

“If I loved you, you would know it. If I loved you, I would show it. If I love you like you should be loved. If I loved you like I’m capable of. If you were the one I’m thinking of, woah ohhh, oh babe I’d let you know”

“Wake me up when you turn eighteeeeen”

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!” *shove*

“Did they buy it? Ha!”

“Gimme a cup of hot water, and make it strong!”

“Does your phone plan cover calls to hell?”

“She’s bisexual and dead! Where else would she be??”

*whips out gun* “JUST COOL YOUR BEANS, STEPH! Just cool em right the heck down!”

“Shut the front door, spankoffski!”

“SIR! DOOOO NOT APPROACH ME! GET YOU HANDS OUTTA YOUR POCKETS! PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN! HE’S GOING FOR A GUN!! *runs at paul*”

Pete’s “HOLY SHIT!!” When officer bailey rushes at Paul

“STOP RESISTING! STOP RESISTING!” *cue Emma screaming*

“You ruined our lives Grace!! I knowwww *sobbing* I just haven’t been thinking clearly lately. All I wanted was to be a regular girl, with no sexual desire, until she was safely married. I never asked for this tickle in my mommy spot. I’ve done so many terrible things, like touching myself and lying to the police. …..and dismembering a body….. well… we all did that, so…. But I called god a son of a b-word. Who am I!?!? *more sobbing* ohh.. it’s alright Grace. Don’t comfort her. She’s fuckin weird.”

“Stephanie, please. I’ve been bugging your phone since you were 12.”

“I don’t give a shit who you kill, but you just HAD to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?”

“A book??”

“You mean… satan? Oh no… they’re much worse.”

“K-yuck, k-yuck, k-fuck!”

*head gets thrown on stage* *collective screams* “Damn you miss tessburger! You were worthless!”

“Nerdy Prudes must die. That’s not me! I’m an elected official!”

“I can buy you beer!”

“I hate politics! It’s for NERDS!”

“Pete get behind me! I’ve got a gun! Steph, it’s a ghost… I don’t think that’s gonna do any good…. On the ground, bitch! I’m a cop!”

“Heck! Heck no!”

“Are you a woman of faith? Catholic. I’ll take that as a no.”

“He’s right there! WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“Pete, is she okay? Can you feel a pulse? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

The entirety of the summoning scene. It’s my favoritest part of the whole show.

Extra extra emphasis on “we don’t give a shit about your phone!”

Max’s slow mo run beat boxing to stop the bullet

“So you do know the Bible”

Grace taking her hair down and shaking it out

“Grace what are you doing?? SHUT YOUR FUCKING FART HOLE SPANKOFFSKI!! I wanna hear this! As you were saying Grace….”

“Brewin a pot of dirty girl soup, just for you! What?? Uhh, It’s what you call my bath water in my sexual fantasies. *GASP* that’s nastyyy….. I like it.”

“What… the fuck… is happening right now!?!?”

“GRRRR! I’ll be right back!”

The background dialogue of Grace and Max and then Peter saying “holy cow they’re doin it! Grace is having sex with a fucking ghost!”

Grace sauntering out and smoking a cigarette and saying “wooow I needed that” and then max being baby girl and swinging his legs in the air and saying “where you goin? Don’t you wanna cuddle a little bit?”

“I paid the price, now fuck off” *Grace twirl*

“Nonooooooowwwhatever! It was fuckin worth it!”

“What the fuck you just say to me!?!?”

“Mom said it would help me make friends. Boy was she wrong.”

“Liek eye dew”

“That was… absolutely disgusting!!”

Graces evil laugh “the souls of the pervs make me strong” more evil laughter

“DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE! DIRTY DUDES MUST DIIIIEEE!!”

“RUN YOU LITTLE BITCH”

“Darkness will spare my soul”

“Run dudes. RUN”

[arcplaysgames]

Literally the best character in the game. I would be friends with Kanji IRL. I like that he's very hotheaded about everything, including defending ladybugs.

Also I very belatedly realized that the summer vacation days had no music and instead have the bug sounds. Which, maybe I am stupid but is Inaba in, like, the Kansai area? Is it meant to evoke that? I don't know enough on this topic, I know a few of the signifiers but not enough to be certain.

I remember the Tim Rogers video on Boku no Natsuyasumi (which is my favorite film of all time) and there's multiple points of meditation on the idea of cultural signifiers of childhood that feel universal to you but are completely unknown to others. The horned beetle thing is to me so deeply strange, and I remember when I was younger, playing Animal Crossing New Leaf, I was sort of going "why are all these games obsessed with beetles, this isn't real" but it is, it's just a deep-set, obvious part of someone else's childhood, a signifier I don't share. My summertime dogwood snow would probably be very strange to other people. But they all have the same tang of nostalgia.

Anywayyyyy.

Oh fun Rise can now shout out a weakness in battle. She will not specific which enemy, and her info will not be added the enemies' card, but. Cool.

Like, for real, I miss Fuuka so fucking much. Fuuka's scans took a random amount of time, usually 2 to 3 turns to happen, but they ACTUALLY TOLD YOU SHIT ABOUT THE ENEMY so it was a good trade off. The way Rise and Teddie both function as in-game notebooks of all the shit you already trial-and-errored is my least favorite thing about the battles in this game. I am sooooo bored of starting EVERY fucking fight with mabufu/magura/maragi/mazio just to fucking catalog shit. It sucks.

Fuuka was the best.

The kind who are boys. Sorry, Rise.

I'm working on Marie's SLink again bc I was told I have to max it out and I dunno if there's a deadline on that, and she literally called me out for not hanging out with her. SORRY, I was maxing out Magician and (soon to be) Emperor and Priestess!

Meanwhile, Chie is very focused on Yukiko which is very cute but also I know from Yukiko's SLink that it's.... not as reciprocated? As you would hope? Like, has Yukiko even mentioned to Chie her plan to skip down the day of graduation and leave? Jesus christ. I feel kind of bad for Chie honestly? She.... feels like the spare to a lot of people? 8C

lmao kanji that's--

>It's very elaborate.

KANJIIIIIIIII

why isn't he a romance option honest to god. why is atlus this cruel to me specifically. kanji would be GREAT at wooing someone lemme tell you. fucking lightning bruisers, you cannot contain their power.

Final notes, I did some running around to gather materials and YOSUKE AND TEDDIE HAVE A JOINT ATTACK. GOD THIS MAKES ME EVEN MORE ANGRY THAT RISE CUT OFF WHAT YOSUKE WAS GONNA SAY. smushes them

also when Teddie is in a dungeon and you give him an outfit that makes him appear human, he does the exact bouncy animations as if he were still a bear and its adorable

Impeccable.

[three--rings]

Okay so I was listening to Placebo's album Black Market Music today while driving, and...this whole fucking album is like Vegaspete the Album.

I mean there's already so much Placebo on my Vegaspete playlist, but now I need to rethink my choices.

And because I feel like it, a self-ingulgent exercise.

Track 1 - Taste in Men - Already on my VP playlist, very Kinnporsche feeling in general. "Come back to me a while; Change your taste in men"

Track 2 - Days Before You Came

"Days before you came It always seemed enticing To be naked and profane There is no denying Days before you came Thunderbolts and lightning Each day a brand new vein Each tourniquet colliding"

'nuf said.

Track 3 - Special K - already on my VP playlist

"No hesitation, no delay You come on just like Special K"

"I'll describe the way I feel You're my new Achilles' heel Can the savior be for real"

Track 4 - Spite & Malice

"Soft and wet, scarf tied to the bed Jack is all tragic when he stands alone Feeling demonic, harmonic, and in a no-go-zone You look well suited like you came to win Lust, spite and malice your degrees of sin Cruising for pity and looking pretty as fuck Ace take your chance, queen wish you luck"

(Honestly one of the lesser VP songs on the album to me but, see lyrics. Still pretty much The Mood.)

Track 5 - Passive Aggressive

"Every time I rise I see you Falling Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart It falls apart"

Eh not that specific but still a harmonious vibe.

Track 6 - Black Eyed (This is where I started being like oh, this is a Vegas song and then the rest of the album was like oh yeah no the whole thing.)

"I was never loyal Except to my own pleasure zone I'm forever black-eyed A product of a broken home

I was never faithful And I was never one to trust Borderline bipolar Forever biting on your nuts"

Track 7 - Blue American - let's ignore this song I hate it. it's the song that keeps this album from being 100% perfect to me

Track 8 - Slave to the Wage

"Runaway from all your boredom Runaway from all your whoredom And wave your worries and cares goodbye"

Eh again, not super relevant. But not NOT appropriate.

Track 9 - Commercial for Levi

"You're the one who's always choking Trojan You're the one who's always bruised and broken Drunk on immorality Valium and cherry wine Coke and ecstasy You're gonna blow your mind"

Vaguely a Vegas song, though his self-destruction isn't exactly drugs. But I have a lot of personal feelings tied into this song, so it's difficult to associate it with characters.

Track 10 - Haemoglobin - Okay ignoring the actual context of the song, which is racist lynchings, I, uh, get Pete vibes from it.

"I was hanging from a tree Unaccustomed to such violence Jesus looking down on me I'm prepared for one big silence. . .

At the time they cut me free I was brimming with defiance"

Track 11 - Narcoleptic - Pete to Vegas, especially when he's in the hospital.

You'd better keep it in check Or you'll end up a wreck And you'll never wake up Wake up, wake up Wake up, wake up It seemed a place for us to dream

Track 12 - Peeping Tom -Mostly Pete POV but general VP also

"I'm weightless, I'm bare I'm faithless, I'm scared The face that fills the hole that stole my broken soul The one that makes me seem to feel much taller than you are"

Track 13 - Black Market Blood - This one is hard to relate because of all the she/her pronouns. But about impending doom and destruction.

And I HONESTLY don't know what to do about my VP playlist. Definitely adding at LEAST Black-eyed. Might remove one or two other placebo songs in favor of Days Before You Came and Narcoleptic or Peeping Tom? IDK Or just add them all and be damned? It's already SO placebo heavy. Look placebo was the reason I decided I needed to make a VP playlist tho.

[almost-a-class-act]

Hilldane anon again (hiiiii)

If you’re into this ship its because you are insane. Facts. I cant believe uve never dabbled in pre-relationship hilldane its PERFECT for “for the good of the company we can’t” pining and like you said “this is terrible but its less terrible with you” coping by just fantasising about the other in tropical hell. Andy casually snuggling with him in his hammock because that’s normal is such a him thing becoz he has no concept of personal space (on your rewatch just seriously notice how they are never more than 3inches apart, like, save some room for Jesus. If I were Jones i’d be swooning), and eddie is fucking dying inside because 8+ years in the corps kills any chance of romance and he’s so touch starved and in denial because “andys like that with Everybody” and theres no way its reciprocated. (Don’t get me wrong, I also love head over heels andy who is absolutely fucking infatuated but this man loves his company more than himself he barely has time for his own thoughts)

And YO burgie and snaf???? I take up way too much of your time screaming about hilldane (its a topic that my therapist has said she’ll section me for so I cant really speak about it to anyone else + I have a million fucking ideas) but honestly Eddie and Burgie drunk on Banika bitching about Pavuvu, the war, other officers, their tragic love lives. Please, enlighten me with the snaf/burgie agenda before i get held for 72 hours

Hilldane anon I am so sorry for the delay. I was planning on being hungover yesterday and binging the entirety of the Pacific and then screaming about hilldane into the couch for 2,800 hours, but alas I was not hungover so I felt the need to be productive instead.

But no you're so right about oblivious Andy, it's extra special delicious because like. He does love Eddie??? He just doesn't know???? He's gotta get these orders changed and keep all these kids alive and keep morale up and he loves Eddie but when the fuck would he have had the time to figure that last part out. One of my favourite parts of hilldane fic is when we get past this, like. Image of Andy as the show perceives him (which is largely as Sledge perceives him) as the heroic figure up on this wildly high pedestal. Because it is accurate! In many respects! But he's also a real person who is fucking tired and frightened and has a lot on his plate.

And sometimes he is an idiot who doesn't know he's in love.

Snaf/Burgie nation rise! Okay so like. They started out at the same time in the Marines and you can't tell me that Snafu didn't pull the same I'm a fucking weirdo, what are you gonna do about it shit with the other guys in his unit as he did with Sledge and the other boots. If you know you're not someone who is easily liked, might as well give them a reason not to - might as well give them all the hard edges right off the hop. And I just think Burgie had his number immediately? The other guys are side-eyeing Snafu and Burgie is like, well it's not up to me to tell these dipshits that he's yanking their chain. He knew he could trust Snafu to have this back and that was all he needed.

And Snafu, unaccustomed to having his bullshit seen through, actually listened when Burgie occasionally gave him hell, got used to looking for him in tough situations, knew that Burgie was on his side, too. So I picture them together as kind of like, each other's steady place while they go through some honest to god horrors, a bond forged in fire. Does it last when the war ends? Maybe not. But thirty years from now, Snafu knows he can call in the middle of the night and Burgie will pick up.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

dead, to begin with

A few weeks after the loss of Stephanie Brown and the return of Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne is visited by the ghosts of Robins past, present, and future.

____

@amonthofwhump‘s 12 Days of Whumpmas Prompt: Holiday Haunting

You can find resources related to the current Roe crisis on my sideblog here.

(tw blood, gore, unreality, past child death, past child abuse, past malnutrition, animal death, forced feeding, strangulation)

Also posted on Ao3 here.

_______________________________________________

There’s a body squirming against him, warm breath stirring across his cheek. For a heartbeat Bruce wonders if it’s another date whose name he’ll have to pretend not to remember, but no, even before he cracks his eyes open he can tell that the body is far too small.

He turns his head slightly, blinking against the low light in his bedroom. There’s a tangle of black curls snuggled up under his arm, chin resting on his chest. Blue eyes blink up at him, tiny lashes fluttering.

For a heartbeat he thinks Dick, but then the boy speaks: “Hiya, B.” His voice is Crime Alley rough, with none of the Romani accent Dick had as a child. 

Bruce lets out a long, slow breath. Jason never slept in his bed before...before. He tried once, but he woke up screaming and clawing at Bruce, begging him to get away, get the fuck away, before recognizing Bruce enough to break down sobbing and apologizing, and then avoiding him for the rest of the day. They never tried again.

But Jason’s here now, young and calm and whole and all the things he isn’t anymore. He smiles up at Bruce, and his grin is a perfect reflection of the cocksure smile Jason had given him while standing there with blood on his hands just a few weeks ago, rain glinting against his leather jacket.

“What’s wrong, B?” he asks. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Bruce swallows hard, forcing his racing thoughts to calm. “This isn’t real,” he says, trying to pitch his voice into a proper growl. But Jason is so warm against him, his little chest rising up and down, and Bruce’s voice breaks off into a trembling warble.

“Oh?” Jason sits up and he--he’s wearing his Robin uniform, smoke curling off his shoulders like dark wings. “Christmas is a time of miracles, isn’t it, B-man? Maybe you just need to expand your mind.”

Bruce coughs, throat aching with the memory of fire. “Jason--” he forces out, fighting the urge to scream or cry. 

His son smiles, a tiny hand reaching to press gently against his cheek. “Bruce.” There’s a bruise spilling down his cheek like a flower, black and purple shimmering before Bruce’s eyes. He smiles and his mouth is full of blood and missing teeth.

“Bruce, Bruce, Bruce.” Each word grows deeper, Jason’s voice sliding down the vocal register as his shoulders broaden before Bruce’s eyes, bones cracking and shifting in a sickening chorus. His forelock lightens to a jarring white and his eyes harden, something cracked and hungry crawling in behind them.

Bruce tries to lunge upright, but Jason’s faster, one knee slamming into Bruce’s stomach and knocking him flat to the bed, the hand on his cheek growing larger and more callused as it shifts to Bruce’s throat. Jason squeezes and Bruce rasps for air, choking on the aftermath of an explosion.

Fight, he tells himself, but Jason’s eyes are twin spots of green ice freezing him stiff. His son’s breath is warm on his face, impossibly alive and tight with the kind of fury Bruce has seen in himself so many times.

“You can’t keep your ghosts out, Bruce baby,” Jason croons, bearing down with his full weight. He’s gotten so big, so strong, pushing down with the weight of a fallen star. There’s black creeping in at the corners of Bruce’s vision and Jason’s features ripple and blur, distorted to monstrous proportions.

“That’s it.” Jason’s forehead rests against his, impossibly tender. “Let it out, let it go. Stop fighting, Bruce, you knew from the start that you weren’t gonna win. We were all dead from the beginning, remember?”

“Jesus Christ,” someone calls from the corner of the room. A girl’s voice, young and agonizingly familiar as Jason’s. “They weren’t kidding when they called you a drama queen, Jay.”

Jason’s fingers relax and he settles back on his knees with a huff, letting Bruce draw in great, desperate lungfuls of air. The smell of smoke still hangs around him, but at least it’s no longer suffering.

“Seriously, Blondie?” Jason calls over his shoulder. “You couldn’t let me have my moment?”

“You had your moment, honeybunch,” Stephanie Brown shoots back, sashaying out of the shadows of Bruce’s bedroom. She’s wearing her Robin costume, but it’s stained with blood in the same patterns Bruce remembers from her Spoiler uniform, the same patterns he had stared at for hour after hour. “You’ve had oodles of moments. Let some of us take a turn.”

Jason crosses his arms over his chest with a pout, his face darkening and features shifting as he shrinks back to his Robin self. “Whatever,” he huffs.

“Attaboy.” Stephanie’s eyes flick back to Bruce--she’s got bruises of her own, pushing out from under her mask. “And you, boss, you’ve gotta get up. We’ve got work to do.”

Bruce blinks at her; he wants to say I’m sorry or forgive me, but the first words to come out of his twisted, aching throat are “What work?”

Stephanie chuckles. “What work, he says.” She leans closer, and he can see that her headband is really a bloody bandage. “What work? Gotham-work, silly. Isn’t that what this was all about?”

Bruce’s eyes flick between the dead girl and the undead boy. “I don’t--”

But Steph’s already turned to scoop Jason up and toss him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, ignoring his kicks and cruses. She grabs Bruce’s hand with her free one and yanks, pulling him out of bed with impossible strength. “Come on, boss,” she says, and her smile has wolf-sharp teeth now.

Bruce wants to protest, but he’s already being dragged across the room, stumbling past a tangle of children’s toys and glinting weaponry that definitely wasn’t there before. Steph tugs him out the door and down the hall, past the images of blood-soaked family members smirking at him from behind filthy glass frames. He jerks to a halt before one painting of Thomas and Martha Wayne kneeling in an alley, one on either side of a corpse charged beyond recognition. “What--”

“Come on, boss!” Steph snaps, yanking hard enough that Bruce almost face plants on the carpet. He barely manages to keep his balance as they round a corner and hustle down the stairs, the dining room door swinging open to welcome them with a wash of bright light.

Bruce staggers to a halt, blinking and rubbing his eyes as they try to adjust. Stephanie dumps Jason on the shoulder and he turns back into an adult as his feet rug, glaring down at her.

“You’re so mean,” he whines, exactly the way he used to do as a child. “I had a whole speech planned--”

Someone lets out a contemptuous little tutting noise from down the table. Bruce turns to see a small figure, smaller than either Steph or Jason, sitting at the head. Their features are obscured by a hood, but he can see that they’re wearing a version of the Robin costume--and that there’s blood shining on their chest like a flower.

“Who’s that?” Bruce asks, and he can’t quite blame the strangulation for how small his voice is.

“Him?” Steph says breezily, flopping into a chair. “Oh, he’s not important--” A dining knife comes whizzing through the air and she ducks, letting it slam into the wall behind her head. “I was going to say not yet, gremlin!” she yells, seemingly unbothered by the murder attempt.

The boy in the hood crosses his arms and slumps back in his chair with a huff that feels impossibly familiar. A cat pokes its head up from his lap, giving Bruce an unimpressed look that reminds him, oddly enough, of Alfred.

“Little psycho,” Jason says, plopping down in a chair and putting up his boots up on the table, taking a gun out of his pocket to stop cleaning it. He shoots Bruce a defiant look, like he’s daring him to say something about it, only there’s a bloody mass where his eye used to be.

“Don’t just stand there, boss,” Steph chides, gesturing at a pulled-back chair. “Take a seat! You’re the guest of honor, remember?”

Bruce takes a breath and carefully sits down, feeling the wood creak under him just the way that the old dining chairs used to. He makes himself look from child to child, forcing him to look at each one without flinching.

“This is not real,” he says, calm and steady, like a man in charge (like a mentor, a fa--) “None of this is happening. It’s a--illusion, of some kind.”

“You keep harping on about that,” Jason complains. “Who give a flying fuck if it’s real?” He smiles, and for a second his face is bone-white and twisted, tinged with sickly green. Bruce jolts at the sight before he can help himself, hand flying towards a Batarang that isn’t there.

“Don’t worry, boss,” Steph chides. “You’ve got nothing to fear, honest. There’s more than gravy than grave about us!” She laughs at her own joke, mouth opening wide enough that he can see blood down her throat. “And speaking of gravy, I’m friggin’ starving.”

She claps her hands and Bruce very nearly falls out off his chair, but suddenly his family’s finest dinnerware is laid out in front of them, candles blazing with Christmas cheer. On each plate, he can see...

“Like it?” Steph asks. “We were going to go with geese, but they all froze to death. Turkey’s more Thanksgiving-ish, and besides, Jerry’s off the menu. And lamb was kind of too on the nose, so...” She waves her hands, broken fingers swinging awkwardly. “Ta-dah!”

They’re birds. Neat, plucked, stuffed little birds, all arranged prettily with feathers spread out behind them. Bright red feathers, like spilled blood and rosy cheeks and...

“Mmm,” Steph says, taking a bit of her robin, cheeks bulging like a little chipmunk. “Alfie’s really outdone himself this year.”

Bruce can’t breathe. He can’t breathe. He can’t tell if the weight pressing down on his chest is guilt or horror or some twisted cocktail, but it’s heavier than Jason was.

“Rich boy feeling like a picky eater, huh?” Jason says, rough and sardonic. “So goddamn spoiled.” His skin presses tight against his bones, a mirror of the malnourished child who almost killed himself trying to jack Bruce’s tires. “There were days I woulda killed for a spread like this.”

The boy at the end of the table tuts against and lifts a glass to his lips. You’re too young to be drinking, Bruce wants to say, but no, the boy isn’t drinking. He’s spitting into the glass, red blood dribbling out of the darkness beneath his hood.

Steph swallows and says, “You need to eat, boss.” There’s a piece of her cheek missing now, ragged with the memories of teeth. “It’s how you get big and strong enough to keep Gotham safe.!

“I...” Bruce coughs. His ribs feel like they’ve been smashed in and his ears are ringing and the candles are burning far, far too hot. “I can’t eat this.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Come on, Bruce. You liked it perfectly fine the week before and the week before that and the week before that. It didn’t bother you in the slightest to chew us up and feed us to that city of yours, did it?”

His stomach roils and Bruce shakes his head wildly. “I didn’t, I didn’t--”

“Tt,” the hooded boy says, and this one is as sharp and dismissive as a gunshot in the alley.

“Come on, old man,” Jason says. His eyes are white now, glinting like bloody domino lenses. “It’s us. If you can’t be honest with your goddamn ghosts, who can you be honest with?”

I didn't know, Bruce wants to say, but the truth claws its way out of his throat instead: “I’m sorry,” he whispers, a broken, aching rasp. “I’m sorry.”

“We know you are, boss,” Stephanie says, and her eyes are soft and tired, her voice stained like an old woman’s. “But it doesn’t really make it better, y’know?”

“I’m sorry,” Bruce repeats stupidly, helplessly. He wants to get up and run--where? Towards them, away from them, out into the night where the bats will keep him safe or down into the shadows of his cave? It doesn’t matter, because his limbs aren’t working anyway, frozen like rigor mortis.

“You know what’s funny?” Jason asks. “I think I might have kept loving you even if you weren’t. But you are, just not enough.” The candles flicker and crackle like laughing clowns, sneering gangsters, the roar of something unnamable. “And that makes it so much worse.”

The Robin at the end of the table jumps up, high green boots clunking against wood. Now that he’s standing, Bruce can see the sword sprouting from his chest, hilt emerging from his back to open into limp, dripping wings, dark red like an omen. The sight hurts more than it possibly could for a child he’s never seen before.

“I love you,” Bruce whispers, voice shaking. “I loved--I loved all of you, I--”

“Hush,” Stephanie says, voice trailing like a dying sigh. “It’s okay, boss. We’ve got it. We’ve got you. We’ll do whatever you need us to do.”

Robin crosses the table in the space between heartbeats and drops to one knee in front of him, hand shooting out to grab Bruce’s face and squeeze. Bruce gags, mouth forced out, and he can’t fight, can’t move, his training reduced to nothing just like it always is--

“Here comes the airplane,” Stephanie sings in his ear--when did she get behind him, her hair tickling his cheek? And that’s Jason hands resting on his shoulders, holding him down. His boy’s fingers are so large now, but the indexes still tap in time the way Jason’s used to do.

The Robin on the table cuts a slice of meat and holds it up to his face. It smells good, like Mother’s perfume and Father’s cologne and all the things that Bruce lost before he knew how enough to hold them tight. He can see hear the meat sizzling against metal, tines blackening before his eyes.

“No,” Bruce forces out, but it’s garbled, smothered, like a baby bird’s last few cheeps. The kneeling Robin reaches for him and the meat presses against his mouth and it cuts--

“Master Bruce!”

His eyes open and he’s on his back in his father’s study. Alfred’s got him pinned down, kneeling over him with wide eyes, wrestling shards of glass from Bruce’s hands.

Behind Alfred’s head Bruce can see the same window that broke all those nights ago, shattered yet again to let in swirls of freezing air. Bruce’s mouth is stinging and there’s blood dripping from his hands, painting the floor dark and ugly.

“Alfred, let me up,” he grits out. “I’m all right, I’m all right, I promise.”

“You were about to eat glass, sir,” Alfred huffs, eyes a little wild. “Forgive me if I’m a little doubtful--”

“Alfred!”

Alfred lets go and pulls away, shifting back onto his knees with a grunt. “Hold still,” he says, reaching for Bruce’s hands. “I’m going to wrap these up and then we are calling Miss Zatanna.” His tone of voice brooks no argument.

Bruce closes his eyes, too tired to argue. He swears he can still smoke in his mouth, heavy and bitter.

“I fought a witch last week,” he says. A small-time crook, really, but the blast she’d caught him with...he’d been foolish enough to think it had just made his head swim. Perhaps she hadn’t even known the real impact of the spell, but still. He should have called Zatanna (he hasn’t talked to her since she stood with him next to a defunct Lazarus Pit, talking about ghosts).

“Yes, you did,” Alfred replies carefully. “And you...you saw something, didn’t you? What did you see?”

Bruce takes a slow, deep breath, thinking of shadows and blood and feathers and--and that’s it. His mind is a blank, a swirl of ugly flickers and whispers he can’t quite make out.

“Nothing,” he says, and he almost, almost believes it.