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#holy dear god what have i done
wild-raven-and-crow · 4 months
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My Pepper Screamed At Me
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I am vegetarian, so I found it incredibly disconcerting when I cut open my peeper and it screamed.
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art-of-wackylurker · 11 months
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I guess it's my turn to contribute something to the @starwars-arttrade-2023
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A lesson on meditation for @stealingpotatoes because world needs more of Luke's New Jedi Academy, it's a pleasant night, the burning wood crackles nicely and the Force fills them with good vibes (✿◡‿◡) So yea I've decided to do the 'Make them comfy' prompt a liiiiitttleeee differently and, well, that's what came out!
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snailfen · 2 years
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the gourmand experience thus far: rotundness
#rain world downpour spoilers#rain world spoilers#FINALLY MADE A DENT OF PROGRESS IN DIRECTION. holy shit#but um most of my grocery list is done! a lot of stuff i needed was in shoreline. i also ran into an orange lizard in shaded citadel..???#im guessing it was a lineage step. cus i killed and ate a mole lizard for the list a cycle earlier. iirc orange lizards dont normally spawn#in shaded#ALSO MIRAHEZE UPDATED. thankfully you dont HAVE to kill a red centipede for the list! its either that or an aquapede. whew#so anyways i just went for that in shoreline#got a cyan in industrial#decided to make a quick stop at sky islands before heading to fp??? for some reason. took forever to find an eggbug jesus#its so funny what pebs says to gourmand. Gluttonous Beast..... rotundness. hehe#anyways i unlocked slugpups early through the cheats menu but never found any on survivor/monk. i ran into one at a karma gate shelter help#ITS FUNNY CUS I SAW PIPE LIGHTS INDICATING THAT SOMETHING LEFT WHEN I ENTERED THE SHELTER. IM AT THE TOP OF CANOPY#fucking NOTHING gets up there. so i popped back out. saw nothing. figured it was just a batfly. went back in. boom. baby jumpscare#so um. i have a baby now!!! im on my way to subterranean and i have two items left. so smooth sailing from here#still need to come up with a name for the little guy.... i wanna do a title like the campaign slugcats? theyre a white slugpup#oh god i have to be responsible for them the entire way. if i run into another one ill cry cus i wont be able to leave it there#but dear god the difficulty will Not be Fun. why am i like this.#mossball.txt#nebi gaming moment#the gourmand
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silverskyeline · 19 days
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'messy' 18+
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oneshot (request) - logan learns that you can squirt, he indulges in that information (1.8k words) pairing - logan howlett (xmen) x f!reader tags - established relationship, fingering, petnames: babygirl, baby, good girl, praising, kind of overstimulation, squirting, lots of squirting, a little rough, he talks reader through it, wet mentions, reader orgasm, dirty talk, fingers in mouth, logan makes reader taste themselves.
.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.
you're splayed out on his lap on the sofa just how he likes you to be, nestled on top of his plush, firm thighs. your knees are bent with your ankles resting over either side of his legs, your back flush with his warm chest, your whole body exposed, open, for him.
logan's thick, calloused fingers lazily stroke your clit, earning soft mewls from your lips as your head tilts back over his shoulder. his other hand is ensuring his middle finger pumps in and out of you at a slow pace, your body craving those broad digits stretching your tight walls.
.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.
you're moaning, gripping his arm for dear life as you squirm in his lap, rolling your hips instinctively. it was beautiful, the way he could make you sing for him, the way he could make your body move for him with just a few simple strokes, almost like a puppet, pulling your strings. he would never consider himself your 'master', but god, you'd let him control you whenever he liked.
he smirks, nuzzling his fuzzy beard into the side of your cheek, his lips finding their place at your ear, "that feel good, baby girl?" logan asks, his voice a deep purr. he already knows the answer.
you gasp at his low-toned voice, gruff like gravel but sweet like honey, "yes. . ."
"mh, that's what i thought. . . think you can take a little more though." he huffs, slipping another finger inside.
your walls clench around the sudden new presence and you moan, loudly, craving the feeling of being filled by him in whatever capacity he's willing to give.
"that's it," he coos, picking up the pace, "good girl, gooood girl. . ." logan loves how easily he can slip inside of you, how he'd always find you dripping, cunt aching, core throbbing for him. his sensitive ears perk up at the sweet sounds of your wet pussy taking his fingers in, the wet schlick sounds filling the room.
your cheeks flush, looking down at the way his fingers are making light work of you, your shirt hiked up to expose your breasts. with the pace increasing, and the way he's so sweetly purring filthy words into your ear. . . you feel a sensation start to build.
it's. . . new, almost uncomfortable but not quite. not the same as an orgasm but almost. it pools low in your belly, just a little out of reach.
but his fingers pick up again, slamming deep inside of you, curling just enough. his fingers circling your clit remain slow in contrast, creating a dizzying combination of sensations that have you clenching around him and calling out his name over and over in some desperate plea. desperation for him to continue, for the building feeling, for him, full stop.
the feeling returns. fuck, it almost feels like you need to piss. your cheeks flush, eyes rolling back as you fight back the feeling, but he's rubbing you and touching you and fucking you too good for you to hold anything back.
"logan," you gasp, arching your back, "l-logan wait-"
but it's too late, before he even has the chance to slow down, you squirt. your juices coat his hands, his fingers, dripping down along his arm and onto the sofa below earning a gasp from both of you.
his eyes widen, stopping his movements immediately causing you to whine at the sudden lack of friction.
then there's silence, save for the lewd wet dripping from the sofa onto the hardwood floor.
your head is reeling, did. . . did you just squirt? fuck, you'd never done that before. heart pounding, you swallow hard, instinctively wanting to apologise for the mess, "shit, sorry i-"
"holy fuck. . ." he whispers shakily before you even have the chance to finish your sentence, "where were you hidin' that from me?" you can hear the smirk in his voice clear as day as he talks into your ear.
"what?" you whisper.
he smirks, kissing your ear, "you didn't tell me you could make cute little messes like that, baby."
"i didn't know i could. . ." you admit, biting your lip as you feel the cool air of the room brush against your dripping sensitive core.
logan's eyes widen, the implication of your words nestling deep in his brain, and groin. he was the first ever to make you squirt, the first to make you feel so good that you couldn't help but make a mess for him. pride swells in his chest, manifesting in a low rumbling smug chuckle at the back of his throat.
". . .think you could make another mess for me?" he hums, his fingers on your clit slowly resuming their movements.
you whimper, the new sensation you experienced was foreign but surprisingly welcomed. you had no idea it felt that good, that you could ever do that. but logan has a way of coaxing everything out of you, cock and fingers playing you like an instrument he's mastered.
"don't know. . ." you mumble, suddenly feeling skittish.
it's then that his fingers start fucking you again, gliding in and out easily, your fluttering hole welcoming the movement. "you can, i know you can." he encourages, nibbling at your ear, "you'll be a good girl, you'll make another mess for me, won't you?"
fuck, his words. his fucking words. every single time they had you acting crazy, letting out sounds you didn't know you could make. and he drinks them in, drinks up all those sweet little sounds from that pretty little mouth of yours that he loves so much.
you simply nod, feeling his digits pumping rougher, curling to find that sweet sweet spot once more. you're not sure if you can even do it again, but logan seems pretty fucking set on making him gush for you at least once more.
he scissors his fingers slightly, stretching you, the motion making you whine with pleasure. but when he pushes in a third finger? that's when you really start screaming for him.
"that's more like it, huh?" he grins, breathing deeply through his nose from how hard he's working you, "just needed a bit more, cus' i know you like it thick baby, don't you? like it thick like my cock?"
you want to gasp, to react to his words, but your eyes are rolling back again, mouth stuck open in an 'o' shape as you feel that sensation build once more. your body is tensing, thighs clenching, back arching, eyes squeezing shut. subconsciously you hold your breath as if that'll help. he's got you right where he wants you, right where he knows you want to be.
seconds later you're gushing, more this time - it lands on the hardwood below with a crude splash and coats his hands nicely. logan laughs, a deep dirty laugh as you writhe. he gives a gentle slap to your clit, then a firmer one, causing more to spill from you along with some squeaks.
"there we go, good girl, what a good girl. . ." you can hear the smirk in his voice, the wide grin he's wearing, the smugness lacing every word that leaves his lips, "feels good to make a mess for me, doesn't it?"
you're breathless, panting, overwhelmed in the best way. and then he speaks again.
". . . i think you can handle one more." logan purrs, movements suddenly fast and hard. his fingers fuck deep into you, curling to hit your g-spot with each calculated thrust. the fingers on your clit speed up, rubbing in practiced circles sending sparks of electricity throughout your body.
you want it too, you'd give it to him over and over again, create messes all night long if your body let you.
god you'd do anything for him, especially in that moment, and how could you not? the way his fingers play with you, toy with you, slide into you. . .
"d-don't know if i can!" you admit, huffing, trying to get more air.
but he shakes his head, "yes you can." is all he says, firmly.
and he's right. moments later you feel it pooling in your belly once more, the accompanying orgasm approaching that threatens to throw you overboard. you're lost in a sea of sensations, stars in your vision, his voice in your ear the only anchor you have to reality. you let it guide you, until you're drenching his fingers and jeans once more, voice ringing out within his bedroom as his voice coaxes and praises you softly.
his fingers on your clit come together to slap down against you, each smack against your sensitive bundle of nerves causing more to spray. you're making such a big mess, his jeans are damp. he doesn't care. this is what he wants, and fuck, if you don't feel the best you've ever felt in your entire life. . .
he keeps going, his fingers steadily pumping into you roughly, desperate to get every last drop as he feels you clamp down around his fingers. you're moaning, gasping, gripping onto his arm for dear life as you ride out your orgasm. it's too much, but it's also perfect. logan watches on in deep satisfaction as you writhe on his lap, his bulge pressing against you above him, cock twitching and rock hard just from touching you.
as your body relaxes, so do his movements, slowing down. he glides his fingers in a few times, enjoying the slick sounds they make before pulling them from your still-fluttering hole. he lazily drifts his damp digits along your tummy, leaving a trail of wetness up to your chest until it finds your mouth.
you part your lips gladly, turning your head to look up at him through hooded lids as you take his fingers in your mouth. diligently, your tongue laps at his fingers, reeling at the taste of yourself on him, dripping from him.
"good girl, you're always so fuckin' good for me. . ." he smiles, kissing your forehead as he watches you, his free hand resting on your tummy. you enjoy the feeling of his large palm against you, making you feel comforted whilst also grounding you after that whirlwind of release.
you pull his fingers from your mouth with a wet pop, instead kissing along his fingers and down across the sensitive skin of his knuckles. a silent thank you, for making you feel so good.
logan watches keenly, growling quietly at the stirring in his groin. his eyes flash with something. you'd call it mischief.
your eyes flit up to his, knowing what he's thinking before he's even said it.
"wonder what else you can do. . ." he smirks, "keeping any other secrets from me?" logan asks as he rolls his hips against you, prompting you to feel how hard he is for you and you exhale, relaxing back against him.
it was funny, how he could always push you right to the edge when you think you're spent.
and yet have you craving more. . .
you grin, biting your lip, "wanna find out?"
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suiana · 1 month
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yandere! priest and gn! succubus/incubus guys... omg...
he's a devoted little thing, so passionate to his religion and his god. his mind and heart are pure, never straying from his faith even when the most beautiful of people had thrown themselves at him.
and then you came stumbling right into his life.
you, a sex demon. all skimpy clothes, flirty and giving him bedroom eyes in a church. it was even worse that you had thrown yourself at him on your first meeting, clinging to his arm like some clingy lover.
"hey pretty boy~ wanna show me a good time?"
"the only good time i have is when I'm thinking of my god. do you want to join a sermon?"
maybe it was because he was so holy but he wasn't repulsed by you. flashing you a gentle smile as he allowed you to cling to him. oh, a sinner. how pitiful. it's no matter, if you repent enough and ask for forgiveness, he's sure that even god will accept you. he'll help you find the right path that is god. you've fallen right into his arms after all. it must be fate and perhaps he was meant to help you.
you don't quite share the same sentiment though.
you just wanna fuck that priest. his cute face, sweet little laughter... devil below you want that man. plus you hadn't fed in days... you're practically starving over here!
"come on... just some head? i bet your pretty mouth could be out to better use than some sermons."
"yes, a better use would be when I'm holding your hand and bringing you to the light of salvation."
he's always so calm and composed. all smiles and a calm demeanour that never exposes what he's feeling. even his eyes are smiling, damn. it's a bit scary that you can't accurately tell what he's feeling. the only thing you have is the slightly obsessive and unsettling darkness his eyes seem to contain. nah, can't be anything much. he's just a priest who wants to play hard to get.
it's infuriating, you think.
you continue to hold on a little longer. maybe he'll crack sooner or later? he's just a man after all... and you're a gorgeous thing meant for temptation... he'll give in right? right? you continue pestering him, clinging to his side as you ignore the horrified looks the other clerics and church goers give you as you beg for the monstrous dick you know he's packing.
but he doesn't show any signs of budging and you eventually try leaving because you're so starved that it hurts. like damn! you still need to feed! and if he's not gonna give it to you, you'll just find someone else!
however...
"where do you think you're doing?"
"huh? priesty boy? you following me?"
"yes."
"???"
you're confused as he practically rips you off of the random guy you picked off the street, dragging you back to the church with him. and all while he continued to smile at you like he always has. only this time, this smile harboured some... ill intent.
"oi at least tell me what you're doing-"
"i am going to punish you."
"punish?"
he stops in his tracks, turning to smile at you as hus grip around your wrist tightens painfully. you wince at the force he's using, desperately trying to tug your hand away. what the hell?
the priest doesn't let you. if anything, his grip only tightened even more. what's worse is that he's now punning you to the wall, caging you in as he stares down deep into your soul with his deep and unnerving eyes.
"yes, punish."
he continues to smile at you, simply caging you against the wall before his voice drops.
"it's the job of a priest to guide newcomers to repentance and i intend to do that with you. yet, you've almost committed an act of sin. i cannot allow that to pass, my dear."
what the- what is he doing?!
"you'll understand once I'm done with you. after all, the god above has personally given you to me as a mission and a gift."
he mumbles, leaning into your lips before his smile lowers into a creepy and unsettling smirk. bruh you might be a demon but this guy right here has got to be the devil's spawn or something. what is he yapping about? gift? mission? you just want some dick!
"hey I don't understand-"
"of course you don't. you're confused."
he cuts you off before you can say anything. his face way too close for comfort as you try sinking into the wall. um... you don't think you wanna play anymore...
"it's okay. I'll help you understand. I'll help you understand your true purpose and that is to repent and be born anew."
he pauses, tilting his head before his smile widens unnaturally.
"that way we can actually be together under the eyes of god. you want to copulate, yeah?"
huh? what's sex gotta do with this?
"after you've finally repented, I'll give you what you want. sex is an intimate and special thing between two people in love. don't worry, there'll be plenty of time for you to fall for me."
wait what?!
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carmenberzattosgf · 2 months
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okay but imagine carmy’s first time without the condom☝️😊 how he’d ask you if you’re sure so many times beforehand and when he’s finally inside he has to hold you still because damn! that feels almost too good! and it’s even worse if it’s the first time he cums inside too -💫
Carmy has you stripped naked within ten minutes of knocking your apartment door. You fall back on the mattress and watch as he quickly takes off his shirt and pants.
He crawls over top of you next, meeting your lips for a series of hot, messy kisses. He’s still wearing his boxers, so you take it upon yourself to push down his waistband so he can kick them off. He groans into your mouth when you grip his cock and lightly stroke him, spreading precum down his length.
“Need you to fuck me, Carm. Please—don’t wanna be teased. Just need you.” Carmy usually insists on eating you out first, but you want him inside of you.
“Y-yeah—I’ll take care of you.” He pauses for a moment, realization hitting him. “Shit! I don’t have a condom.”
“I wasn’t expecting you, or I would have bought some,” you giggle. He showed up tonight completely unannounced. He kissed you with hunger when you opened the door, making it clear what he needed from you.
“Sorry, I uh—just had to see you. Couldn’t stop thinking about you all day at work—shit—“ his voice falters as you stroke his dick again. More precum forms at his tip. “I can eat you out?” He offers.
“Want you, Carmy. I’m on birth control, it’ll be fine.”
You feel his cock pulse in your hand from your words.
“Are you—are you saying—“
“Please, Carm. I want you to fuck me.”
“Fuck—are you sure? Shit, I can run down the block to the corner store if you want me to.”
By hooking a leg around his waist, you press Carmy in closer to you, lining him up with your entrance.
“M‘positive. Want you to fuck me. Please,” you beg. Carmy doesn’t take much convincing, though. He sinks into you slowly. A broken gasp leaves his mouth as the head of his cock slips into you.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’ve never—never done this without a condom—holy fuck, baby.”
“S’good, Carmen. Filling me up so, so good—shit,” you whine as he completely bottoms out inside of you. He’s pulsing inside of you, and panting into your ear. You can’t help but move you hips to feel his cock nudge against your walls.
“Fuck. Stop. Stop moving,” he says through clenched teeth, gripping your hips to keep you still. “Just—just give me a second.”
You know better than to press your luck, so you run your fingers through his hair as he rests his forehead on your shoulder.
“Shit—so—so wet—fuck,” he murmurs. “Didn’t know it could feel like this. M’not going to last long. God—“
“Carmen—please move. Please—“ you beg. “Don’t care if you don’t last—want you to fill me up.”
“Holy shit, baby.” You watch Carmy’s eyes go dark. He was planning on pulling out and cumming on your stomach, but now that option is off the table. You want him to pump you full of his cum, and that thought alone makes his cock twitch.
Once he starts fucking into you, Carmy’s pace is relentless. He’s holding onto you for dear life, arms wrapped around your frame. He’s not hiding his face in your neck, though. He’s resting his forehead on yours so he can watch your face as you take his cock. Whenever he’s not kissing you, he has his bottom lip inbetween his teeth to contain the sounds of his moaning.
“So tight—so fucking warm, baby. Perfect for me. God, you’re perfect.”
“Carmy, Carmy—I can’t—m’gonna—“
“Soak my cock. Let me feel it,” he commands. He moves one of his hands to circle your clit with his thumb, and that sends you over the edge. Carmy’s pace grows sloppy and erratic. His forehead moves to rest on your shoulder, so he can look down and watch his cock thrust in and out of you.
The pulsing of your cunt around him with zero separation pulls a broken groan out of his lips, but he’s still trying to hang on for you. His hips fuck into you roughly, pounding into you hard and deep.
“Carm—cum in me. Fill me up—wanna feel you spill out of me—“ you cry. He lets himself go at your words, biting into your shoulder as his hips press as far into you as possible. You feel him throb inside of you, filling you up with cum.
You both lay in bed for who knows how long to catch your breath. Carmy’s still inside of you, keeping you plugged up with his load. He’s the first one to break the silence.
“Baby, I don’t think I can go back to using a condom again after that— I’ll pay for you to get an IUD, or an implant, or whatever you want.”
“Deal.”
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thyme-in-a-bubble · 25 days
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pop that cherry
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a/n: woop woop! here's the little slutty story that you guys voted for when i asked what you wanted to see happen next in this au ৎ୭
summary: “hey, I get it,” he flashed you a comforting smile, “I’m a complete stranger. You just shook my hand two seconds ago and now we’re expected to bang in front of a bunch of other people you also don’t know,” his broad thumb swept over your knuckles, “you just have to decide if you wanna pack up your things, go home and chalk this up to just a fun experience, a lesson learned about what corners your sexuality and such does and does not stretch to,” he uttered with sincerity, “or you can come back inside and we can make some magic happen. It’s up to you.” 
warnings: camgirl!reader x various, pornstar!ari levinson, roommate!bucky barnes, porn director!bruce banner, smut, porn au, college au, reader’s porn name is cherry blossom (UrLittleCherry), filming pornography, reader's first time doing professional porn, kissing, masturbation, toys, oral, fingering, voyeurism, exhibitionism, dirty talk, size kink (pornstar!ari is famous for his monster cock, you're welcome), belly bulge, manhandling, multiple orgasms, squirting, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, facial
word count: 3832
∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽
sugar & spice au masterlist | 101, intro to the au
masterlist | join my taglist 
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Curled up and melted on your mattress, you absentmindedly scrolled through your phone. Your puffy pussy, hidden between your still trembling thighs, clenched in dull soreness from the fuck machine frozen by your feet and still glistening from the show you’d put on only moments earlier. 
“Hey, pretty girl,” a familiar voice emanated from your doorway, “I didn’t know you were done streaming.”
Lazily blinking up at Bucky as he leaned against the frame, “yeah, just signed off a few minutes ago,” you exhaled, “did you just get home?” the question flowed from your lips and he swiftly nodded in confirmation, “how was class?” 
“Oh my god, don’t get me started,” your roommate let out a groan and pushed himself off the wall, his stride swiftly carrying him the short distance to where you laid and plopped himself down beside you.
A soft smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you felt him press a slow peck to your exposed shoulder. 
“Do you need help lifting the toy back in the closet or–,” Bucky’s kind offer was then cut short by the shuttering gasp that suddenly crawled out of your lungs. 
“Oh my god,” your eyes grew to the size of saucers as you stared down at the message you’d opened on your phone, “oh my god!”
“What? What is it?” he propped himself up on a forearm to peek over your shoulder. 
“I–…” your eyes scanned the email wildly, “this can’t be real, right?” you cast a glance back at your friend. 
“Let me have a look,” and you swiftly handed him your phone before hearing him skim through it, “dear miss Cherry Blossom, bla, bla, bla… we here at Smash Studios really love your vibe and were wondering if you would ever consider doing professional pornography, because if so, then we would love to work with you,” his blue eyes flickered a moment longer over the screen before they fluttered up to meet yours, “no, I think it’s legit.”
“Holy shit…” you breathed, an airy giggle then bubbled out of you as this was quite the news to take in, even when one wasn’t still hazy from haven fucked one silly in front of hundreds of people. 
“You think you wanna do it?”
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“Beautiful, gorgeous! And look right here, up there, yeah, that’s it…” 
Sharp clicks shuttered the camera and shot throughout the massive house as a photographer snapped the last of the stills for the shoot. You were posed perched and kneeling on a bed with your right hand buried in the already tiny crop top, you’d brought as one of the outfit options, and held up high to reveal your tits. 
The groan of floorboards creaking then found your ears and your gaze swiftly fluttered towards the door where the salt-and-pepper-haired man, who you’d come to learn was the head of the little porn studio, crossed over the threshold. 
“How are we doing in here?” Bruce adjusted his glasses before stepping further into the room. 
“I think we’re about done,” the photographer lowered the camera from his eye and cast a glance to his boss, “think we got the shot.”
“Great,” Bruce clapped his shoulder as the other man passed by and exited the room. As you tugged the short t-shirt back down into place, you met Bruce’s gaze before he asked you, “how are you doing? You ready?”
Though your mind was way too preoccupied to offer him an answer and instead blurted, “has he arrived?” as you scooted off the bed and felt the tiny shorts you wore ride up enough for your grasp to float down to adjust. 
“Not yet, I’m sorry,” he tilted his head, “trust me when I say that he isn’t usually this late. He wouldn’t have the stellar reputation he does if he was. But we can still begin without him and just fix it in post if you’re–”
Someone then poked their head and announced, “hey Banner? He’s here. I just spotted his bike roll up the driveway.”
Feeling your heart thump in your chest, you heard Bruce clap his palms together, “great!” before you followed him out of the bedroom and through the pristine halls of the rented modern mansion. 
Just before your bare feet began to conquer the long staircase, your absentminded grip tightened on the glass railing as you looked down at the open living room, clearly visible from the wide balcony, and spotted the figure that then sauntered in. 
“So sorry I’m late, traffic was literal hell.”
Ari Levinson. 
With sun-kissed brunette locks flowing from his head and a motorcycle helmet nuzzled under his burly arm, the infamous pornstar was not only blessed with a smile that could make anyone swoon, but also a dick so huge that any sane person would be downright terrified by the idea of having it split them apart. 
Though that wasn’t what had stopped you in your tracks, what had made your palms embarrassingly clammy when he soon shook one of them once you’d somehow made your way down the stairs. 
Why did your very first partner have to be someone you’d obsessively been getting off to for years? 
You were barely listening to what the people around you were saying as you couldn’t rip yourself out of the trance you’d snapped into. 
“I’m sorry, what?” you soon blinked, trying to avert your gaze. 
“I asked if you were ready,” Bruce patiently repeated. 
“…for?” you breathed, feeling as if you were inside of a giant ethereal cheese bell, making the entire world around you seem blurry. 
“For the shoot,” Bruce’s words still flew straight over your head, “I said that I was thinking that I’d do the filming myself, if that could make you more comfortable since you’ve already met me. That way it’ll just be me, the two of you and then Sam in the corner doing audio.”
“O-okay…” you said quietly, feeling your cheeks heat up as Ari let his gaze linger over you, an observant brow soon twitching as he spoke up. 
“Wait, actually,” he placed a palm on Bruce’s forearm, halting him as he reached for the bulky camera resting on the white couch, “do you mind if I grab a quick smoke break first?”
“Yeah, sure,” he nodded, “let’s just all take five before we begin.”
It caught you completely off guard when the object of your distraction walked by you and paused to murmur in your ear, “come with me outside for a second, will you?”
Shadowing him all the way out of the tall glass door and onto the terrace, you watched him lean his frame against the fence and tilt his body for you to slot in beside him. 
“I don’t actually smoke,” you uttered softly as you let your fingers ghost over the railing. 
“Oh, neither do I–, or well, that’s not completely true, I do, just didn’t need one right now.” 
“So then why did you ask for a smoke break?” you cocked a brow. 
Blowing out a swift breath, Ari then twisted to face you more and gazed directly down at you. 
“You mind if I hold your hand?” he held out his own palm.
“Oh, uhm,” your glance flickered down to his upturned hand before you carefully placed your own atop of it, “okay.”
His warm fingers swiftly engulfed your own as his stare stayed fast upon you.
“So, this is your first time, huh?”
“Oh, no, I'm not a virgin, I–” 
“I meant porn, sweetheart,” he tilted his head to be more at your level. 
“Right,” you averted your gaze as butterflies soared in your stomach, “yeah, I haven’t really done this before… I mean, I’ve some stuff, I’ve cammed for a pretty long time now and even recorded custom videos for some people, but no, I haven’t really taken this step before…” 
You were staring down at his large hand engulfing yours as he then said, “you know, it’s okay if you don’t wanna go through with it. This field isn’t for everyone, in fact, only very few thrive in this environment, and if it’s not for you, then it’s okay.”
“Oh, no,” your eyes flickered up to find his as you urged, “I wanna do this, I really do. I’m sorry, I guess I just kinda got a bit more nervous than I expected.” 
“Hey, I get it,” he flashed you a comforting smile, “I’m a complete stranger. You just shook my hand two seconds ago and now we’re expected to bang in front of a bunch of other people you also don’t know,” his broad thumb swept over your knuckles, “you just have to decide if you wanna pack up your things, go home and chalk this up to just a fun experience, a lesson learned about what corners your sexuality and such does and does not stretch to,” he uttered with sincerity, “or you can come back inside and we can make some magic happen. It’s up to you.” 
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“So, Cherry,” Bruce purred behind the camera as he knelt on the floor beside where you sat at the foot of the bed, “I can’t believe we finally convinced you to come have some fun with us. I gotta tell you, you are just a fucking dream come true…”
“Oh, thank you,” you smiled, kicking your feet slightly as they dangled over the edge. 
“But you must get that all the time, I mean, look at you.”
“It has been known to happen on occasion,” you chuckled, thinking back to all of the lewd compliments the viewers of your streams generously tossed at you. 
“So, a little birdy told me that this is your very first time fucking on camera. Is that true?”
“Yeah, it is,” you bit down on your bottom lip, “I’m so ready to pop that cherry.”
“Oh, you are, are you?” he smirked, panning the bulky camera over your frame as you tilted your head in a nod, “you’re just ready to show the whole world what a perfect slut you are?”
“Think it’s about time,” you giggled in response. 
“Well, then why don’t you do something for me and stand up?” he shifted back a bit as you got up from the bed, “and now, I’ve already seen it, but can you please turn around and show everyone how fucking perfect your ass is?” a grin stayed fast on your face as you slowly spun around. Your butt was barely covered in the tiny shorts that clung around your hips, so when you twisted and let the camera catch that part of you, Bruce quietly groaned, “wow…” and he shifted his grip to let one of his hands float up towards you, “can I touch you?” 
“Sure,” you arched your back a bit to make his palm’s journey that much shorter. 
“Damn… this has got to be one of the greatest booties I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” he offered your softness a brief squeeze. His fingers first dented one cheek, then the next, before his grip caught your waistband and tugged your shorts up just a tad bit more, making the fabric momentarily rub against your covered pussy.
His flat palm then scooped around your hips and guided you back to face the camera.
“Do you wanna see my boobs?” you smiled as you blinked down at him with big doe eyes, your hands gently grazing over the hem of your crop top.
“Oh, yes, please,” he virtually begged as he let his warm palm stay glued to your waist. 
Peeking down, you slowly lifted the shirt up and let your tits quite literally spill out as they jiggled slightly from the release of how fiercely you let the cotton graze over your skin. 
“Jesus christ…” you heard him utter as your palms fluttered down to play with them, squeezing the soft peaks gently before Bruce’s fingers sneaked up to pinch one of your nipples.
Once you’d put on a show and pushed the tiny shorts down your legs, the crotch of which had been slightly soaked since you weren’t wearing any panties underneath, you rested back down on the bed and spread your legs wide for the camera, grinning as the older man asked you to play with yourself. 
“Oh my god… I gotta tell you, I am so hard right now,” you watched how intently he stared at the small monitor, getting a closeup of how your fingers rubbed your little clit, “you have no idea how tough it is not to just fuck you right now, it’s crazy…”
“Oh yeah?” you giggled, the melody of your want echoing throughout the room at every teasing touch you offered yourself, “how bad do you wanna fuck me?”
“So fucking bad…” he uttered in a nearly hypnotise tone. 
Continuing to circle your puffy pearl, your fingers briefly dipped down to tease your entrance, only shyly slipping inside before you swept back up. 
“You know what?” Bruce said as he then began to twist a bit to get the open door to the room into frame, “I have a little surprise for you,” and perfectly on queue, Ari appeared at the threshold, burly chest on show with just a pair of jeans hanging low on his hips. 
His stride was slow as he only stayed in the doorway a moment before sauntering over to where you sat, melted back and resting against the one forearm that propped you up. 
“Hey,” he smiled and plucked up your face as soon as it was within reach. 
“Hi,” you managed to utter just before he bent down and pressed his lips to yours in an unhurried and gentle kiss. 
He kissed you as if he had all the time in the world, like some dude wasn’t pressing a bulky camera closer to the intimate act, but like he was the lead in a PG romcom. 
When Ari withdrew, he let himself linger in your warmth, ever so slightly nuzzling his nose against your own as your fingers kept up the dizzying pattern you drew between your parted thighs. Tilting his head, his touch traced the length of your arm till his reach came down to aid your efforts, making you gasp from the way he caressed you. 
“You,” he nudged his nose gently against your own, “look like you’re in need of some cock in that little mouth of yours.”
Letting out a soft chuckle, you said, “you read my mind,” before popping the button of his jeans and tugging the zipper down. Even though you’d seen his famed cock numerous times on screen before, it truly was something else to witness it in person. A breathy, “holy shit,” left your lips as you tried to wrap your fingers around his girth, though he only let out a soft laugh at the way your eyes grew wide. 
Ceasing the caress he drew between your thighs, he instead grabbed the base of his heavy length with his fingers still glossy from your arousal. As you stuck out your flat tongue, he tapped the weight against you for a second before you tilted your chin and wrapped your lips around the bulbous head.  
As you disappeared into the meditative motion of slobbering all over his cock, gradually taking more and more of his intimidating length, your frame twisted to lay on your side and face him more. 
Blinking up into his hooded eyes as the corners of your lips burned from the severe stretch, you felt his hips begin to move, rolling to meet your every bob, till his fingers tangled in your hair and he got to take over completely, fucking your face till slobber dribbled down your chest and rained down on your crop top, still tugged up and framing your tits. 
His free hand then snaked its way back down your body and cracked your legs open wide for the camera to see as he plugged your pussy up with two of his fingers, making you moan around his girth as the tip of him bruised your throat. 
When he yanked your mouth off of his cock, he did so with a gravelly growl, like he could have lived in your silky warmth and it pained him to say goodbye so soon. 
“Come here,” he grabbed you and flipped you around for your frame to face him as his feet stayed planted on the side of the bed. Kicking his jeans the rest of the way off, you panted up at him as you scooted even closer, nearly letting your butt hang off the mattress’ edge as you laid already crumbled and folded before him, utterly bewitched by the anticipation of what his legendary size must feel like stretching your poor pussy out. 
Shimmery spiderwebs of your nectar clung to him as he then let you feel the weight of him tap against your puffy pearl, briefly skimming through your folds before he found your eyes and tipped down, nudging to catch your weeping entrance. 
“Oh my g-god…” you gasped, all of the air escaping your body to accommodate as he slowly pressed just the tip inside. Your cunt clung around his dick as he gave you a second to catch your breath. Your pulse throbbed in your pussy as your silky walls moulded around him and your thighs gently trembled from the intensity of it all. 
“Fuck,” he groaned as he gave you another inch, “you feel so good,” gently stuffing more of his length inside. 
His grip dented your trembling thighs as he held you open for the camera to see how you struggled to take his cock. Even when the tip of him kissed your cervix and made you feel as if he was all the way up in your fucking throat, when you hazily gazed down to see where he split you apart, there was still a generous inch of him that your little pussy just couldn’t take. 
As your eyes lingered a little longer, you too caught sight of how a dull bulge formed in the lower part of your belly, perfectly timed with each of his mind-numbing thrusts. 
When you then tumbled over the edge, nearly blind from the overwhelming pleasure, your pussy couldn’t help but accidentally gush around Ari’s girth, simply because of how mind-boggling he felt. 
“Oh, shit,” you panted. Still in your orgasmic daze, you swiftly cast a worried glance up at Bruce steady behind the camera, “I’m sorry,” you briefly broke the scene as Ari too paused his movements as you breathlessly spoke, “I really tried not to squirt, I know that wasn’t part of today’s plan, but–, fuck…” your eyes fluttered up to find Ari’s, “your dick’s just so goddamn big,” you hazily giggled. 
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Bruce’s voice washed over you as you watched a smile tug at Ari’s lips, “that was just an unplanned bonus.”
“Wait, so you’re not mad?” your neck twisted to cast a glance at the director. 
“No,” he swiftly shook his head and flashed you a reassuring smile to calm the obvious anxiety that had bubbled up inside of you. 
“Oh, good,” you let out a sigh, “sorry, I just got nervous for a second. Okay, alright, we can keep going.”
“You good?” Ari checked before he cracked out of his frozen form. 
“Yep, yep, I’m okay, I’m wonderful,” you chuckled and let the last bit of nerves wash away. 
“Alright,” he dipped down to press a soft kiss to your lips, before his hands guided your arms around his neck, slinking them around him. 
His grasp then scooped down under you and he effortlessly plucked you up off the bed, a shy yelp bubbling up from your lungs as he picked your frame up to cradle you in his arms, his massive cock still lodged inside of you, though when he settled you in his strong hold, it felt as if he found a mystical way to slide even deeper. 
Moans flowed from your lips and vibrated against his skin as your neck soon gave up and lent your cheek to smoosh against his fuzzy chest. 
“There you go,” he stood up tall and bounced you in his arms like you were a toy, just a cocksleeve for him to get off with, “there you fucking go…”
As he picked up the pace and truly gave you a taste of how a real pornstar pounded a pussy for the camera, your eyes screwed shut tight and you felt yourself float away on a cloud, curled up in Ari’s burly arms and surrounded in a storm of your collective moans. The existence of the video camera even faded from your reality as you peeled your eyes open and peeked up at Ari from the pillow of his pec, knowing full well that he too could feel how you began to clench around his cock once more. 
“You gonna cum again?” he repeatedly lifted you up and down on his fat girth, “you gonna be a good girl and cream all over my cock, huh?”
Blinking up at him, your brows crinkled in pleasure as you nodded, “uh-huh.”
“You think you can squirt again for me?” his grip dug into the plush of your ass hard enough for it to leave marks. 
“I-I don’t know–”
“Oh, I think you can,” he switched up his pattern, slowing down slightly and dragging you all the way up till his cock nearly slipped out of you, only to sink you back down in such a rough, yet intensely slow manner, that it made your eyes roll in your skull, “just listen to that,” he smirked at the soft sloshing sound that sinfully echoed as his fat girth repeatedly slid against your g-spot, virtually bullying it till you surrendered, “it’s like she’s begging me to just spend the rest of the day making her gush over and over again until you fucking pass out…”
A shrill cry escaped your form as you let go once more, shaking in Ari’s grasp as Bruce knelt down to capture your sinful drizzle.  
You nearly felt drunk, like you were hours into the best party of your life, when you eventually found yourself planted on the floor, quaking legs unsteady beneath you as you blinked up at Ari, looming above you and furiously fucking his fist. 
“You want me to cum all over that pretty little face?” he grunted as you hazily stuck out your tongue. 
“Yes,” the corners of your lips blissfully curled up into a grin, “please–”
Even though your bones had turned into jelly and your pussy clenched in soreness, the drawn-out moan that rumbled in Ari’s chest as hot ropes of his cum then shot out and painted your features sent tingles throughout your body and filled you with a desire to just wrestle him back down onto the mattress, hit rewind and do it all over again. 
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© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 
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desperately wanna write a childhood friends to lovers au w chloe and red in the timeline where bridget never goes evil and is still besties w ella
like imagine all the hangouts and sleepovers they have, crying and whining when they have to be separated because red, dear, we really must return home or chloe, love, we've been in wonderland for a week already
imagine little chloe bursting into her parents' bedroom declaring that she'll always be red's knight in shining armour, because every princess, especially a crown princess, needs a knight to protect her and ella and christopher just KNOWING that chloe is gonna stay by red's side forever and ever
so they start planning the wedding with bridget, thrilled to have the opportunity to bring their families even closer together. they're gonna be in laws! a family, just like they've always dreamed.
imagine little red telling her mum that chloe has a really pretty smile and really pretty eyes, and it makes her happy to see chloe happy, and that chloe is the bestest friend in the whole wide world and bridget has to stop herself from squealing and pinching red's adorably flushed cheeks, because her daughter was so in love already, even if it was just puppy love. that doesn't stop her from screaming gleefully into her pillow later that night tho
imagine them growing up together, attached at the hip, never straying from the other's side. imagine them going to auradon together, everyone already knowing that red and chloe, chloe and red, are a package deal. you can't get one without the other, a known fact since the duo were old enough to travel through the rabbit hole on their own
imagine chad walking in on them cuddling, watching a movie and cooing at them, snapping pictures on his phone before they notice him, yelling at him to leave them alone. alright, alright, I'll leave you lovebirds alone and red flushes in mortification and shut the fuck up chad, we're completely platonic and you know this because little miss goody-goody would definitely be rougher around the edges, growing up with red, and she'd definitely cuss up a storm at chad, but she loves him, she swears, just maybe not as much as she loves red
imagine them going through all the motions of a romantic relationship, cuddles, cheek kisses, hand holding, cute dates and all that, but insisting that it's just platonic, and that's how they've always been because they're best friends and their parents are so very done with them, just praying for them to get together, and chad has even started a betting pool for when they'll realise they love each other. he thinks it'll take them until at least their second year at auradon prep - at least, it'll take chloe that long
imagine chloe and red having matching lock screens, and having each other set as their home screens as well. imagine red baking chloe anything she asks for, like peppermint cookies and flamingo feather cupcakes and blueberry muffins, because chloe, her princess, her knight, has a raging sweet tooth that red can't help but indulge every time. imagine chloe taking red on ice cream dates, because red LOVES ice cream, and refusing to let her pay for it because red was a princess and deserved only the best treatment, thank you very much and red has to point out that chloe, you're a princess too. but, red, you're the crown princess and im your loyal knight <3
imagine red finally realising her feelings and ranting at the council of parents because holy shit aunt ella, your daughter is so dense?? and christopher can't help but cringe because he knows exactly who chloe got that trait from and he's like I'm sorry but while we charmings are quite, charming, we're also quite oblivious, especially to matters of the heart and bridget can't stop laughing because darling, you may need to hit her with glass shoes for her to figure it out, which makes ella blush because that's exactly what she had to do that night at castlecoming
god I have so many feels about this I am totally normal about glassheart. final part absolutely inspired by @strugglingsapphic's recent post bc I love the idea of oblivious chloe not knowing shit
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cryptidghostgirl · 7 months
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Make You Wish Chapter Three -- A Reunion
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Previous Part: Chapter Two -- Where Is She
Warnings: Another pretty tame chapter ngl. Mild mention of murder I guess??
Word Count: 1,195
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List 
Make You Wish Master List
A/N just a reminder that my requests are open :)
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"Blitzo, can't you just deal with whatever it is on your own?" Y/n groaned, rubbing her temples in irritation as she stepped out of the office, "I swear to god, if this is some joke? I'm gonna kill you."
There was the quiet, indiscernible drone of the TV. Other than that, the room was silent. Y/n looked up, her eyes falling on the wall beside the office's door and the people who stood before it.
Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo in a quiet, tense line. She raised her eyebrows, nearly smiled.
"What the fuck is going on?"
Blitzo uncharacteristically said nothing, simply raising his hand and pointing to the entry way. Y/n's eyes narrowed, her muscles tensed and ready for a fight as she followed the path indicated by his gesture. The hand on the knife at her side fell slack as her gaze landed on an achingly familiar face.
"Holy shit." she mumbled, her mouth falling open a little.
"Yeah, uh, he's been asking for you?" Moxxie nervously explained, "You didn't... I mean, he's the Radio Demon. He hasn't been seen in years, you didn't fuck with him... did you?"
Y/n felt tears press behind her eyes again as she took a tentative step forwards. Then another one. Slowly, she crossed the room to the taller demon who just stood there with a smile, watching her all the while with his arms folded behind his back. Y/n peered up at him, her eyes narrowed as they met his own.
The one person in the whole world she'd been practically dying to see. There was a pain, he was the cause and the cure of it. Hesitantly, she raised a hand and poked his nose.
"Shit." Blitzo muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly as Millie let out a subtle gasp.
"Are you done?" Alastor asked, his voice crackling with irritation as he looked down at Y/n, whose arms were now crossed over her chest.
"I had to make sure you weren't a dream." she shrugged, turning her head away, "Mox was right, you've been gone seven years."
"Are you mad?" he teased, leaning down towards her ear.
Y/n rolled her eyes, turning to face him once again. She scowled at the man for a moment before a smile broke out across her face.
"I never could stay mad at you." she admitted, wrapping her arms around his waist.
"I..." Moxxie trailed off in confusion.
Alastor slowly wrapped his arms around Y/n's waist.
"Mills, start planning a funeral." Blitzo scoffed.
Before any of the trio could say another word, he had lifted her off her feet and was spinning her in the air.
"Al!" Y/n shrieked through her laughter, "Stop it! You'll mess up my hair!"
He set her down again and the pair released each other.
"You menace." Y/n shook her head, still laughing, "It's like you knew I was thinking of you."
"You were, were you?" he teased, leaning down to her level.
"Y/n, do you know the Radio Demon?" Millie interrupted, taking a step forward.
Both Alastor and Y/n turned to face her.
"What, this old freak?" she asked, elbowing him gently.
"I resent that." Alastor hummed and Y/n laughed again, her joy unbridaled.
"Yeah, we're friends." Y/n confirmed, catching the genuine concern in her friend's eyes, "Known each other for about as long as I've been down here."
Alastor nodded as Y/n looked back up at him.
"Speaking of the old days," he hummed, looking her up and down, "what's this new look you've got?"
"Huh?" Y/n looked down at her clothes before turning and meeting his eyes once again, "Oh, I'm an assassin now."
"No no no, my dear." he shook his head, "This simply wont do. I can't have you wandering around looking like some ragamuffin."
Alastor snapped his fingers and Y/n looked down to see she was wearing a dress now. She almost yelled at him, almost tore him a new one and called him a dick. Then she realized what dress it was she was wearing. Y/n looked up at Alastor with wide eyes.
"This is..."
"The dress you murdered your husband in, yes."
Y/n squealed, throwing her arms around Alastor's neck and pulling him in for another tight hug that he reluctantly accepted. Letting him go, she spun around, watching the way the skit splayed out from her legs.
"You remembered! Oh, Alastor! Thank you."
"The fuck." Blitzo muttered to himself, watching the scene playing out before him.
Y/n beamed up at him as Alastor raised a claw, looping it through the circle on the collar Y/n still wore. All of her other accessories and clothing had vanished, as he had intended, except for this. He hummed thoughtfully and Y/n's cheeks grew hot with shame. She looked away.
"What's this then?" he asked, letting the ring fall from his finger.
It hit the leather of the collar with a quiet thud.
"Look, I... made some bad choices." Y/n sighed, refusing to meet his eyes, "A physical sign of a very real metaphysical decision I had to make."
"Quite possessive, to cast a spell like that." Alastor mused, "You always had a thing for that though, didn't you."
Y/n raised her arms, wrapping them tightly around her body at the harsh remark. She made to move away from him but, as she did, Alastor grabbed Y/n's chin, forcing her to look at him. He watched her expression carefully.
"You could have come to me. You know I would have taken that delectable little soul off your hands in a moment."
"Yeah well, you weren't here." Y/n firmly stated, taking a step back so he no longer held her, "I did what I had to do to survive."
Alastor raised his eyebrows.
"And who exactly did you make this... bad decision with?"
"Al, can we please talk about this later?"
"They don't know, do they."
"They do." Y/n insisted, "I just... please, not now."
"Fine." Alastor relented after a moment.
The pair fell silent, Alastor's critical gaze interlocked with Y/n's indignant one.
"Sooo," Blitzo began, breaking the awkward silence and drawing the attention of the room off the pair and onto him as he took a step forward, coming to a stop beside Millie, "you two fucking?"
"Jesus, Sir!?" Moxxie exclaimed in shock.
"You can't be serious, right?" Y/n laughed in surprise, "No, Blitzo, we're not fucking. The day Alastor has a sex drive is the day Heaven is overrun by... I don't know, giant killer bees?"
"It's more likely than you think, dear."
"What's that-"
Alastor cut her off mid sentence, placing a hand over her mouth as he caught the images flashing across the TV on the other side of the room.
"Hey, rude." Y/n scoffed, pulling herself from his grip.
Alastor ignored her. With a flick of his finger, he raised the volume on the TV. At the sight of his narrowed eyes and tight smile, Y/n turned to see what exactly was bothering him so much.
----
Next Chapter --> Chapter Four -- Vox
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doki-doki-imagines · 8 months
Note
Hey can I request the lin keui trio +earthrealm defenders reaction to y/n asking them to eat pineapple to make their cum taste better
author note: the snort I snorted. I suppose this is a sequel to this request. No actions are described. I'm dying this request killed me LMAOOO.
Johnny Cage: -Why is his smile getting so big? Why does it look so wicked? -"Oh, dear-" Johnny purrs out, walking towards you with open arms "I already have the perfect diet to taste delicious." -He doesn't hug you but gets dangerously close, his figure imposing in front of yours. -"Your memory must be playing trick to you-" His lips close to your ear, hot breath sending shivers down your spine, making you arch your body towards his chest. "Let's try it again? Just to remind you how delicious I am."
Kenshi Takahashi: -If he was drinking, he spits. If he wasn't, he coughs, choking on his saliva. -Kenshi knows that he doesn't taste like peaches and everything nice, but… is he that bad? -Nobody ever complained. -Kenshi will act annoyed, dropping the topic the second you bring it up. -Doesn't mean he won't start drinking the juice at any occasion he isn't with you. Kenshi cares about his partner.
Raiden: -His face gets so pale when you tell him that. You were worried he was going to pass out. -If only Raiden likes pineapple… -He gags every time he tastes it. -Raiden wouldn't mind trying different ways, but please no pineapples. -Or he'll just go down on you forever. -One of the few cases where your partner wouldn't mind if you never go down on him.
Kung Lao: -"Dunno what you are talking about. When I kissed you, I tasted fine." -1HKO. -Lao is a teasing shit, but he doesn't mind changing diet to make you happy. -You are lucky this guy eats everything. Ask Raiden. He had to pay for shit that he didn't even think could be cooked.
Liu Kang: -"Don't joke, dear one." "What do you mean? I'm not joking." "With Godhood you get many pros, you know?" "So what? They gave you amazing tasting semen?" "I'd say holy and delicious." "Oh God, Liu Kang!" "You don't need to call me twice." -You lost. Accept it. -Liu Kang will kiss your forehead to sweeten your loss.
Geras: -He knows about this stuff, but Geras thought he already had a good and balanced diet. -He accepts without making a fuss about it. -And maybe go even further, looking in the future to see if there are ways to make it taste even better to you.
Bi-Han: -You told him during breakfast, he choke on his tea. -His brain barely works and you start talking about his cum??? -"You seemed to enjoy it very much both yesterday night and the times before." "But-" "Don't you say another word." -But the damage is done, a woodworm penetrating his head and not leaving Bi-Han alone. -Maybe, for you, he'll do it.
Kuai Liang: -He looks at you, cheeks red and mouth opening and closing like a fish out of the water. -Okay?? Liang will do it because he loves you. -But also, did you have to ask for lunch? With the risk of Tomas and Harumi hearing! -For sure he's gonna ask if something changed the next time you go at it. -The next morning btw.
Tomas Vrbada: -Flat line, he has a poker face but it doesn't seem like he is breathing? You are more worried about his health now. -Tomas just didn't expect this? But he doesn't mind drinking it to make your experience more enjoyable. -Now since you complained once, Tomas has something to say too… -A good relationship includes talking after all, right?
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holybibly · 6 months
Note
girl i really dunno how to ask but ummm i...i mean WE need more preacher/saint/priest content....oh i just thought priest yunho with some cnc and bdsm........and maybe some watersports....oh. my. god. i died. my eyes are only seeing some whips, punishment and a lot of sin. bye.
Hi, honey, how are you? I really spoiled you, didn't I? But it seems that everyone is just as crazy about hot priests/pasors,preachers, and nuns as I am. Woo was hotter than hell when he was a priest, don't you think, bunnies?
I've already mentioned that I'll be doing a sequel for each member, but I'll tell you more so you can look forward to my updates.
Below I mention religious, hierophilia and church related topics. Bunnies, please refrain from reading if such content makes you uncomfortable. You have been warned!
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Beware of False Prophets Demon San x Reader
Everyone in your town has been talking about the arrival of a new priest. The parishioners have been on their knees in praise of Pastor Choi San ever since he walked through the doors of your little church. He was devout, quiet, and, for a priest, incredibly handsome. He quickly became the object of admiration and wet dreams.
And you were not left out. The way his cat-like eyes would sometimes linger on you during Mass, or the way your name would roll off his tongue when he addressed you, made you blush with shame, not only at the dirty thoughts in your head but also at the fact that your panties were getting too wet just by looking at San.
But little did you know that Pastor Choi San had much more forbidden and depraved intentions towards you than that. Not all that glitters is gold, and not everyone is a saint who wears a holy robe.
It is said that one should beware of false prophets, for good intentions lead to hell. Or maybe the demon San will disguise himself as the new pastor of your church and try to tempt you into committing a sin.
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Are you callin' me a sinner? Priest Yunho x Widow Reader
It was never in your wildest dreams that you'd be a widow at such a young age. Less than three months had passed since you got married when your husband tragically died, and this became the talk of your small town.
People walked past you, looked at you with disgust, closed their doors in front of you, and pointedly ignored you as if you had committed some mortal sin, which is probably what they thought you had done. You were so young and too beautiful, and your husband... Your husband was a man much older than you. You loved him; you really did, and losing him destroyed you. Your husband left you a huge fortune to inherit, and people whispered that you killed him to get money and to take a lover. Some even said you made a pact with the devil by killing your husband in return for your unearthly beauty and money. They said that you were a sinful brat.
Your only comfort at that time was faith, and you spent all your evenings in prayer and penance. One day, your housekeeper advised you to contact the priest, Jeong Yunho, describing him as a pious, compassionate, and gentle person who always showed mercy to everyone and granted the desired forgiveness of sins to all the troubled hearts. But she neglected to mention that Yunho was also an incredibly handsome young man who was more likely to tempt you to sin than to help you atone for it.
"I will help you get rid of your sins, my child." His hoarse voice whispered in your ear as he let the dress fall from your shoulders and down your back.
"I am going to cleanse you of the sin and the impurity of this world." Yunho said as he put a blindfold over your eyes and tied your hands behind your back.
"The only way you will be able to atone for your sins is through pain, and I will help you with that, my dear." He said this, accompanying his words with a lash of his whip across your bare skin.
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Say yes to Heaven Pastor Yeosang x Libertine Reader
You never wanted to have anything as much as you wanted to have Kang Yeosang. He was handsome. He looked like an angel. He was everything that you ever wanted to sink your teeth into. He was your church's pastor. And that was what drove the hell out of you.
Yeosang was a simple man—an incredibly sweet and gentle man—who always helped his parishioners find the right path and to find God in their hearts. You, however, could brag about an endless list of sins and vices that you proudly displayed, like your favourite red lipstick. If given the chance, you would paint the whole town red, but mostly you wanted to see it smeared around Pastor Yeosang's handsome cock while you deepthroated him. The two of you came from completely different worlds—a saint and a sinner—but you had always believed that opposites attract.
Every mass was a game of seduction for you, and you wondered how far you could go before the angelic halo over Yeosang's head would crack and he would fuck you senseless. Although you had doubts that he could do it, you had a feeling that he was a virgin and would probably faint at the sight of a pink, wet pussy in front of his pretty angelic face. God, the boy was so holy and inexperienced about sex.
But how wrong you were about him! There are always two sides to every coin, and you will learn from experience that there are some desires that are better left as fantasies. Or the one where Pastor Yeosang fucks you to the last inch of your life and teaches you the concept of out-of-body experiences through orgasm.
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Me and the Devil Lucifer Seonghwa x Reader Nun
From the day your parents took you to church for the first time, you knew that your life would be one of devotion to God. Of course, this was not the destiny your family wanted for you, but they still supported you on your way to becoming a virgin bride.
The convent where you lived to prepare for your vows was far from home and did not have the best reputation. But the priest of your parish convinced you that it was there, and nowhere else, that you could know God. And he was right; you did know God, but it was not the God to whom you prayed every night of your life.
It all began with dreams. Dark and unholy dreams came to you more and more often. The cold hands of a stranger sliding over your skin, a hot tongue exploring your body and lips as if sin itself were branding you with kisses, all ending with the first rays of dawn. Then this strange cat appeared and would not leave your side for a minute. But what frightened you most was the disappearance of the other nuns. One after the other, they vanished without a trace, until there were only a few novices left in the convent.
The night you took your vows was dark and moonless. So were the eyes of the dark-winged angel who appeared before you. It was as if he were woven of pure sin, depravity, and rage, oozing from his skin like ichor, and the rustle of his wings was the very sound you would hear before your death. But Angel, Lucifer, Seonghwa—call him what you like—came here with one goal: to finally get his bride.
"Do you have faith that your God will be the answer to your prayers, my beautiful bride? Do you believe that he is going to save you?" Seonghwa's lips touched your cheek, and his burning breath flowed across your skin. "You belong to me. Your soul, your faith, your body—all of it belongs to me. And you will accept me as your husband, dear child. Or you will say goodbye to your life at dawn."
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There will be a separate post for Mingi, Jongho and Hongjoong. I am going to leave you in suspense, my little bunnies.
There's no harm in a bit of intrigue, is there?
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jyoongim · 7 months
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Hi! Do you only do romantic pairings for Alastor? I was hoping to request something platonic so if that's not your things please ignore me!
I just wanted a fic to see Alastor confessing to reader that they are in fact a very dear friend to him (with the same energy of a sweaty palmed anxious school boy confessing to his crush) I just think it'd be adorable.
(I also just like imagining his fluffy wittle ears going flat against his head due to nerves without him even noticing) (god if evil why so fluffy)
Answer: I haven’t written many platonic (only one) but i am not against trying to do so. This is VERY short, but i still think it was cute
If you laughed, he was going to kill you was your thought as you watched Alastor clumsily stumble over his words.
What had gotten into him?
The Overlord was usually calm and confident. 
But now he has the aura of a sinner sitting in the holiest of holies.
Alastor was nervous; anxious and jittery, All that charm and wit out the window now that he is trying to tell you something.
From anyone else’s point of view, this would like that the sinner is about to proclaim his love for you and run off, but it was not that at all.
Alastor had invited you to dinner and hoped that he could show you how much he appreciated you being his…friend.
Yes. Friend. Like Mimzy girl tried to use pookie and Rosie.
Alastor considered you a dear friend and he wanted to tell you that.
But here he was, hot and sweaty like a boy telling his sweetheart she was beautiful,  it almost made him want to disappear.
But Alastor was not a coward.
”My dear, I arranged for us to have dinner to show you how much I appreciate you” ok so far so good.
You smiled, tilting your head ”oh? But I haven’t done anything special to raise such an occasion”
Your eyes swept over him, concern building on your face. You have been around Alastor long enough that you know when he’s feeling a bit uneasy. Sign #1? his ears.
The tuffs of red, which usually stood proud, are now flat to his head.   They’ve been that way since he started talking.
“Now now you don’t have to have done something special to be appreciated…let’s call it more like a ‘thank you’ ”
”Thank you? For what?”
He cleared his throat, eyes darting away from you, taking a deep breath “For being a friend to me” he said lowly, radio filter gone.
Your eyes widened. A soft smile cracked your face as Alastor looked away,  frustrated and blushing.
You giggled causing him to look at you, ears perked 
“Oh Alastor! Is that what you’ve been nervous about? Haha”. You beamed at him, reaching across the table to grab his sweaty hand to smooth him.
”We have always been friends. I know YOU like to decide such things, but we’ve been friends since you killed that creep”
Alastor blinked, and before your very eyes his charm was back,
He gave a toothy smile at your touch. You were one of the few people allowed to do so and it didn’t repulse him.
He found your touch to be quite soothing. He doesn’t remember when he started considering you a close friend, but he know that you don’t care if you ramble about different topics. He find it endearing that you are very jumpy, but don’t quiver at the sight of him, you’re stubborn and always give him a piece of your mind.
He first thought you were insufferable, but somehow you were always right by his side.
His favorite thorn.
He felt a soft hand petting his ears, and glared at you
You laughed “For someone in control, your ears sure do tell alot”
Oh he was sooo going to kill you.
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mechanicalpiper · 6 months
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Spiciest one I've done yet, I think! Enjoy :3
Hero beats Villain in a fight, and the latter can't hide their fluster over Hero being in control.
CW: VERY suggestive.
Snippet #7
It was the most tense fight the two ever had.
Hero and Villain continued to trade blows, weaving around one another's strikes and staying on their feet despite the pain.
What made it tense wasn't the fight itself, necessarily- it was the stakes. It wasn't simply Hero foiling a plan or Villain trying to capture them- there was no destructive machine to destroy, information to gather, person to save, nothing.
There were no stakes. That's what made it so tense.
The two had just... stumbled across each other. It was late at night, and both were simply taking walks through the city. There wasn't anything to accomplish- they just knew they couldn't just ignore one another.
Since there wasn't anything to formally accomplish, the winner would simply... win the fight.
The winner would just have the loser physically defeated. Anything could be done to them in a weakened state like that, and knowing one another, it almost certainly wouldn't be good.
So here they were, scrapping in an alleyway with the same ferocity as fighting for their life.
Hero landed a clean blow, staggering Villain back a little. Hero generally looked much less beat up- Villain knew they were going to lose. The pressure was on them as Hero continued to strike, putting Villain on the defensive without enough breathing room to make a strike back... they just had to weave around or block enough strikes to get their opportunity.
Hero feinted an overhead attack. Villain, in a panic, held their arms together and in the way of the strike to block it... giving Hero the perfect opportunity.
Villain noticed just barely too late. They shut their eyes to brace for impact, but... no strike came.
Instead, they felt Hero grab their wrists, pressing them back into the wall of the alleyway.
They cautiously opened an eye to process what exactly was happening. Hero was in front of them, leaned in slightly with a smug lil grin, holding Villain's wrists against the wall above them.
"Checkmate! I win~" Hero taunted.
Oh, dear god.
Villain squirmed slightly. Wow, this position was evoking some feelings. Pinned against the wall by Hero, of all people?? A mild blush formed on their face. Hero noticed.
"D-Don't sound so cocky!" Villain snapped. "We're not fighting over anything, t-this doesn't have meaning!"
Hero gave a teasing little grin in response. "Oh? Really now?"
Villain glared back. "Obviously!! There's no plan to meddle with!"
They struggled angrily, but they knew they were far too weakened to resist Hero's grasp. Weakened because t-they were beat up, of course. Nothing else. Nada. Zip.
Hero grinned. They found it so cute how badly Villain was hiding a bit of enjoyment here. That blush was glowing bright, some of those squirms were of flustered embarrassment, and they'd never stuttered like that before. They'd never seen Villain in such a helpless state like this- it was absolutely precious.
"Hmmm? Oh, all the Agency ever wants me to do is fuck up your plans, but they're not involved right now, are they~?"
Villain's entire expression showed flustered surprise for a moment. That completely took them off guard... the thoughts rushing through their head only got more frequent and detailed. They knew there was absolutely no way this would play out like that, though. No way.
"W-Well, no, but what else IS there to do?? I can't think of a damn thing this gets you besides throwing me back in that barely-qualifying prison to escape overnight!" They shot back, hiding their embarrassment under anger.
"Oh, honey, don't lie~♫"
Villain completely froze for a moment.
Their expression became complete surprise as they looked at Hero, their blush covering their entire face.
holy shit.
Did they hear that right? Was Hero just mocking them? Did they misinterpret it? They scrambled for an explanation- ANY explanation. Because surely, SURELY this wasn't actually happening.
Hero let out a giggle watching Villain helplessly squirm under them at a complete loss for words. It was so, so fucking cute to see such an intimidating, notorious rival just fall apart in their arms like this.
"Well~? Anything you'd like to say?"
Villain couldn't find the words. They squirmed, stuttered, grit their teeth in frustration... a pathetic display the Hero couldn't get enough of. The glare they shot back at Hero was filled with the most precious little mix of frustration, uncontrollable fluster, and embarrassment they'd ever seen.
"Awww, having trouble speaking, Villain~?" Hero taunted back. "What's wrong~? Where's all that dauntless charisma, hmmm~? You're not hiding a damn thing, sweetheart~"
Villain was practically falling apart at the seams.
Their thoughts were less coherent, just filled with so, so much fluster. They couldn't believe this was actually happening. They couldn't have been happier.
"I'm not surprised you're so subby, really~! It fits you quite well~"
Their struggles were long gone by now, replaced with desperate squirms. Not desperate for escape. They'd never been such an absolute mess before
"So... why don't you be good for me and come on along as I head back home~? I've got time to kill."
Villain's response was almost subconscious. "...P-Please..."
There was a long night ahead of them.
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thrashkink-coven · 2 months
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Genuine Red Flags in Spiritual Books, Grimoires, Occult Teachers or Mentors
Very often I see folks talking about things they consider to be red flags for beginners when entering witchy or occult spaces. Here are a few of the things that I’ve noticed over the years that will immediately make me put down a book or step away from a practitioner.
1. Claiming they know every thing about every sect of spirituality / occultism or witchcraft
Simply put, there is no one person who knows the deep inner workings of every craft, of every philosophy, of every practice. The guru that claims to know everything from Reiki to Jewish Mysticism to Native American Spirituality to Voodoo to Acupuncture to Chakra Healing, Tarot, Herb Wizardy, Alchemy, etc etc etc. No. They are lying. Even the most dedicated and wise practitioners devote years into understanding a philosophy or spiritual practice. And especially in regards to closed practices, it is impossible for one person to have read and done it all. Either they are straight up lying or presenting brief skimming over texts or conversation as “years of experience and practice”. No.
2. Constantly trying to convince the reader that they are a God, deity or some inhuman creature like a cosmic elf, mermaid, or angel
Now I don’t mean to confuse this with the idea that some Luciferian or Satanic spaces may adopt that all humans are gods in their own right, or you are the god of your own existence. I’m talking specifically about books that try to convince you that you’re actually a lost race of alien who has been trapped in a human body, or has been mistaken into believing they are human. I’m not going to get into my opinions on star seeds or deity ancestry, what I will say is that very often, and I mean uncomfortably often, these ideas are intrinsically tied to supremacist or xenophobic rhetoric You do not have to be an angel to be special and cosmically significant. You don’t have to be an elf to explore herbal magic, people who push these ideas are very frequently praying on those with delusions of grandeur or other dissociative mental disorders and that’s not cool.
3. Using pseudoscience to push miracle remedies. This includes denying things that are provable to push a narrative, like the fact medication can help the mentally ill.
My dears, please fact check what you read. Please see what educated people have to say about these authors before you take everything they say at face value. As many problems and rightful distrust as there is in the medical industry, usually, if a concoction is commonly dismissed by 99% of medical professionals, it’s usually not because they’re trying to cover up the holy grail, it’s because they know it’s… probably not that good for you or simply doesn’t do what it claims.
4. Trying to convince the reader that with enough practice, willpower, and a donation of $9.99 per month, you too can obtain some incredible power that will allow you to airbend, waterbend, firebend, and basically defy all the laws of physics in general!
The point of most occultism, spirituality and witchcraft is not to defy the laws of physics or to obtain some godly power. There most certainly exists the belief in many sects of spirituality that one can influence their reality through training, but I promise you, anybody that is promoting that they can walk on water is trying to make a fool out of you
5. Inability to disagree, contest, or dissent from the opinions of the mentor, teacher, high priest(ess) or leader
This is how cults form, guys. Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug. If the presentation of different ideas or even questions are met with harsh backlash and censorship, you need to get the fuck out of there.
6. Them automatically making the assumption within a very short time of meeting you, usually presented as psychic intuition, that you are suffering and have a “deep sadness” or energy blockage in your soul that only they can fix.
I understand that damaged people often seek mediums and whatnot for help, and sometimes it genuinely brings them ease, that’s fine and good. But so often I have been approached by people online that claim that “the angels have a really important message for me that they can only give after they’ve received an epayment of just a few dollars”. These are obviously scams, but often people who have been trusted for a reading or service in the past will fabricate these stories to trap a costumer in a loop of service. Some of these claims may be genuine but I guarantee you most are not.
7. Sprinkles of Fascism
No you are not superior to other people because you’re spiritually “enlightened”. No you should not separate groups of people or decide who should and shouldn’t procreate. No mainstream society is not being being deceived by the devil, and the devil is not more prevalent in any one group of people, sex, sexuality, gender, or race. You are not the only enlightened one in a world full of lost people. Mentally ill folks are not demons and trans people aren’t energetically unaligned. You will not inherit the Earth while everyone else dies. Uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shut the fuck up.
8. The claim that ancient societies of people were aliens. Presenting hoaxes and proven scams as evidence of a conspiracy.
This includes things like using documented hoaxes as evidence that aliens built the pyramids. I’m going to be so for real with you guys rn. This is just racism. It’s insane to think the Egyptians were smart enough to build the society they literally lived in, but nobody doubts the validity of the Roman Empire. Crazy concept but maybe Indigenous people of color aren’t savage idiots. And maybe white people aren’t the only ones capable of having societies and interesting architecture. The thing about this that annoys me the most is that… Egyptians still exist today, and the ancestry that dates back to ancient Mesopotamia and Canaan still exist today too. These were human beings, just like us. The alienation of black and brown people proves how little some people see us as normal people.
9. The promotion of practices that are directly harmful. Self mutilation, disorderly eating, or rituals that can induce psychosis or states of mania.
Guess what you actually don’t have to sit on a mountain naked and eat nothing but sunlight to be enlightened. You can definitely do religious or devotional things like fasting within a healthy degree, but I so so often see people promoting things that will very obviously lead to mania and hallucinations just by design. Starving yourself for two weeks while constantly blasting mantras and doing a bunch of psychedelics isn’t enlightenment… it’s a manic episode. While some devotees may feel comfortable offering blood to deities, this should always be in very small ways, a needle poke, not self mutilation.
10. Trying to do business with minors or promote occult topics to children specifically
Just no. I really dislike the idea of selling spells or promoting deity communication to kids still in grade school. They’re trying to manipulate a young mind into believing their dogma or spending their parent’s money. If a parent wants to share their craft with their child, that’s cool, but people who specifically target a younger audience are suspect to me. This isn’t to say spirituality isn’t for kids, it’s just that content that is created for kids is often created to be surface level and profitable in the algorithm.
11. Shitting on New Age Spirituality
Yeah I said it. This to me feels very much like a let’s hate on anything women, especially young women enjoy. Let’s delegitimize their experiences and paint them all as ditzy girls just clanging their crystals together.
There are some things that New Age Spiritualists do that I’m not a fan of, all of the things in this list. However, that doesn’t make this form of spirituality and witchcraft any less legitimate just because it’s somewhat trendy right now. Go fucking howl at the moon and have bon fires with your besties while you do tarot and talk about angel numbers, I don’t give a fuck.
New Age spiritualists aren’t inherently doing anything wrong or different than what ancient cultures have been doing for centuries, it’s just trendy and profitable now. But anything that young women enjoy will inevitably be exploited by the capitalist machine and that is not their fault. Wicca is still a legitimate form of spirituality and witches are not inherently doing anything wrong by being young women. So much of the criticism against NAS is literally just misogyny.
“I’m not into new age spirituality I’m a REAL witch”
omg please shut up
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herdreamywasteland · 7 months
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a letter to Nex Benedict
Dear Nex,
you were a child. and we failed you. our children are the future, and we couldn’t even give you a future. it has been 16 days since you died, one for each year of your life, and nothing has been done. This is a horrible injustice, but the worst injustice of all, is the loss of your life.
I am so sorry, and I pray that God has embraced you in his loving arms, and assured you that you were made in his perfect, holy, image. I am so sorry for what happened, and what didn’t happen.
I did not know you. I did not know your name, or what you were like. I did not know your favorite food, or television show, or book. I did not know if you liked coffee, or if you sat strangely in chairs. I did not know if you had ever been to a Dennys, or if your dinners were always homemade. I did not know your name until February 8th, 2024. I did not know you, and now I never will. But I do understand.
I understand what it is like to be hated. I understand what it is like to be told you are worthless. I know what it is like to have nothing done about an injustice.
and I know what it is like to feel scared.
I am so sorry. I cried for you last night. I cried for the beautiful person you were, and the beautiful adult you will never be.
I hope you are in heaven, or whatever afterlife you believed in. I hope that you are respected and loved, for eternity and beyond.
I am so sorry. You didn’t deserve this. It was not your fault.
I am praying for you. I am praying for your family, and your friend. I am praying that justice is served.
most of all, I am praying that you are finally safe.
I cried for you last night. I think about you a lot. 16 days, 16 years, an entire lifetime.
I hope you forgive those girls, though they don’t deserve it. Even if you don’t, you are still better than they ever will be.
I don’t know you. I never will get to. I think, in a different universe, at a different time and place, I would have been your friend.
I am so sorry.
I hope you are safe.
I hope you are happy.
I hope you know you are loved.
Nex Benedict, thank you. Thank you for teaching me something, for opening my eyes.
Nex Benedict, I pray that God gives you another chance, in a world better than this one.
Nex Benedict, I didn’t know you. But, in a way, I love you.
Sincerely,
Another trans teenager
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yakumtsaki · 1 month
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Dear readers, we've been through so much together and you know at this point it takes a lot for me to describe a situation as 'out of control'.. yet here we are. So Kea moves in and the following happens in the span of like 2 hours:
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Barth beats up Felina.
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Kea beats up Spice.
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Barth beats up Cyan.
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Felina beats up Barth. Like seriously, ENOUGH. I've decided that next generation when we're at the third cousin tier relation I'm just gonna let whoever wants to date a cousin do it because holy hell, breaking them up has been a disaster. Everyone is near aspiration failure, everyone has shit grades, we're BROKE, and to top it all off..
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-HELLO AGAIN
Why. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WE DON'T OWE ANY BILLS LIKE THIS IS LITERAL THEFT. I also love how everyone is already so miserable so the repoman just comes and takes all the fun objects we can't afford to replace, FML
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Barth's aspiration meter is absolutely pathetic as a result of everyone viciously assaulting him and desperate times call for desperate measures..
-Well well.. If it isn't Glitched Butler #9.. How's it hanging? ;)
-Same as always, I'm here to not cook and to open the doors we no longer have thanks to Baby.
-You know what, I'm too depressed to seduce you so will you just sleep with me?
-As you well know my butler programming prohibits me from doing anything helpful!
FFS. It's ok Barth, I will fulfill your throw a party want, I don't see how anything could go wrong with the situation in this house being what it is!
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-Hey there! Join our party! Sleep with me! I COMMAND YOU
Barth please get it together.
-I CAN'T FUNCTION ROMANTICALLY BECAUSE I'M SO SAD BUT I REFUSE TO THROW ANY WANTS THAT DON'T INVOLVE ME SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE
OK DO YOU MAYBE SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THAT APPROACH
-NO
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-Ugh, Spice is so hot when he's crying after I beat him up.
Ok Kea, I'm only gonna ask this once: are you fucking kidding me????
-What? It's only natural to be attracted to your girlfriend's ex who is her cousin and your enemy.
I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see this shit and move on.
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So I have invited several of Barth's existing and potential lovers to this party and my goal is to figure out who, if anyone, I'm gonna marry him to. Now please enjoy this sequence of events:
a) Barth is flirting with my current top spouse pick, Stella Terrano, and it's going great!
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b) Barth leaves Stella Terrano to go sleep with GODDAMN GUNNAR. Since I can't seem to shake this fucker off, the only option remaining is to give him a ridiculous fake accent to make him bearable.
-Oi luvs you, Barth!
-Why are you talking like a servant from Downton Abbey? Also who the hell caught me cheating now?
Who knows or cares? Let's continue:
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c) Barth goes downstairs to beat up Cyan.
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d) Klara aka my former top spouse pick attempts to leap into Barth's arms and HE LETS HER DROP
-Äääääh mein arsch!
-Sorry Klara but I refuse to get caught cheating by Gunnar..
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-..unless it's with Stella Terrano!
LOL OMG, I really thought I'd have to marry him to fucking Gunnar due to THIS SHIT:
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But God's mercy finally shines upon me!!!
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Oh man I'm so upset by this >:)
-Ha culd youse do 'is, ya broke ma 'eart!!!
-What?
-Oh my, turtles are considered the sexiest animal in my planet👽
Stella ffs. Oh well, so sad, goodbye Gunnar, I was really hoping to add your freakish lack of chin into our gene pool but looks like I won't have the chance huhu!
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e) Barth flirts with Stella again and is caught cheating AGAIN..
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f) ..by Sarah Love who I keep forgetting exists but man that's a HARDCORE slap, she legit got her fingers in his eyeball(s)
-SORRY WHATSYOURNAME BUT I THINK BLINDING ME IS A BIT OF AN OVERREACTION
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Yay! See Barth, our amazing party did the trick and now everything is gonna be ok!
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-IM BLIND IM BLINDDDD I CAN'T SEE
Excuse me?! You know what Barth I'm done helping you, nothing is ever good enough for you!
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