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cepheusgalaxy · 5 months

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"So, you wanna make them ace?"

Asexuality 101: Making your characters asexual

Indroduction: Ok, so, from what I've seen in fandom and in general, most people don't really know how to write an asexual character. Many just quit it and make them allosexual, others just struggle their way without having much of a guide. Prime example is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, whom many people want to involve in sexual scenarios so they go with the "asexuality is a spectrum" route. Problem is, they don't understand how asexuality is a spectrum exactly and then they just end up writing their characters as allo. Now, how to avoid this? Teaching them!

If you're looking for a good way to get started with your own asexual oc, an ace headcanon or a media charater, I've got you! (i mention sex briefly here in some parts)

My credentials: I'm ace.

The basics

What is asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is generally defined by the lack of sexual attraction, or a very little amount of it. Sexual attraction is many times confused with libido, which is the sexual desire. Sexual attraction is more accurately, "the desire of having sex with this specific person." Therefore, some ace people do have a libido, and do want to have sex, but mostly are just not attracted to a person.

Myths and misconceptions

Asexuals can't have sex - as many shippers say, "asexuality is a spectrum", and while some aces don't have sex indeed, they can want it and have it as well. Person to person scenario

Asexuals don't know nothing about sex - unless the ace in question is a child, they probably may know, in fact, a lot. Many ace people like reading, watching or consuming smut, and by this and other means, even if they don't have sex themselves, they pretty much know how it is and how it works. Sex is everywhere, after all. Hard to miss

Asexuality is caused by trauma - it can be! Just not always, and most aces are simply born this way

Asexuality is a medical condition - much like homosexuality, asexuality is frequently treated as an illnes and many ace people are forced into conversion therapy. Some people also hold the belief that asexuality is caused by an anormality in a person's hormones, a mental illness, etc. But it is not true! Asexual people can obviously also be mentally ill in some way, but these are different things. It is just a sexual orientation like any other!

Asexuality is caused by HRT - hormone replacement therapy, ie. taking testosterone or estrogen, is one of the most common type of medical transition for trans people. Some hold the belief that taking hormones like those can "break" your sexuality (estrogen does sometimes decrease a person's libido, but it depends on the person's organism and it doesn't take your sexual attraction away from you), and turn you asexual

Asexuality is caused by autism - this myth may be originated from the fact that many autistic people are in fact asexual, or by the fact that both asexuals and autistic people tend to be infantilized a lot. However, as much as autistic people are very commonly also ace, asexuality is not, in fact, a symptom of autism

Basic terminology

Ace - short for "asexual".

Aro - short for "aromantic"; someone who experiences little to no romantic attraction, aka typically "doesn't fall in love".

Allo - somebody who does experience attraction. "Allosexual" is someone who is not asexual, and "alloromantic" is someone who is not aromantic.

Aspec - short for "a-spectrum". The a-spectrum is an umbrella term for anyone who is in any way ace, aro, aplatonic, afamilial, or other identities that fit here.

Acespec - short for "asexual spectrum/ace spectrum". It's a part of the a-spectrum and contemplates all asexuality.

Aesthetic attraction - finding someone pretty or beatiful, without necessarily wanting to have sex with them. Many ace people who didn't know they were ace report to having used to mistake it with sexual attraction.

Sensual attraction - similar to sexual attraction; the desire to touch someone, but without wanting to actuall have sex with them. Many ace people also confused this with sexual attraction.

Aphobia - discrimination against aspec people.

Amatonormativity- the belief that everybody is happier in a relationship, wether they want it or not, and should want and seek to be in one, and the general root of aphobia.

The Split Attraction Model

If you are looking on the ace community for a while, you might have heard of the split attraction model--if you haven't, here it is:

Image description: The Split Attraction Model, a cross chart inside a square, with four ends. The first end of the cross is labelled "ace", its opposite is labelled as "alloce", the third end is labelled as "alloro" and it's opposite is labelled as "aro". The section on the "alloro" and "ace" square is labelled "alloromantic asexual", the section in the "ace" and "aro" part is labelled "aromantic asexual", the section on the "alloro" and "alloce" square is labelled as "alloromantic allosexual" and the section on the "aro" and "alloce" section is labelled "aromantic allosexual". /end ID.

The split attraction model divides all orientations in four groups: The aroaces, the aroallos, the alloaces and the alloallos. It is usually shortened to "SAM".

Many people find this model useful, because it sorts your attraction into two groups: allo- and a-, and yes and no. It's simple and easy.

Many aces do not use this model to explain their attraction/lack thereof though! Hence the first distinction of aces we have here: SAM-aces and non-SAM-aces. Basically aces who use the Split Attraction Model and aces who prefer not to!

A non-SAM ace may define their asexuality as their romantic orientation as well, or label themselves differently altogether. While a SAM ace could call themselves an "asexual aromantic" or an "asexual alloromantic", a non-SAM ace could call themselves just "an asexual". In this case, they can be neither "alloro" nor "aro".

If your character is aware of their sexuality and identifies as ace, it's good to know wether they use the Split Attraction Model for themselves or not.

The spectrum

You may have heard that "asexuality is a spectrum" a thousand times, but what does it mean?

Just like "non-binary", "asexual" can be an identity on its own, but it is actually an umbrella term for a bunch of orientations. When we say that it is a spectrum, we are saying that there is Nuance. "Ace who doesn't date", "ace who dates", "ace who experiences just a little bit of sexual attraction", "aces who like sex" and so on. 'But Angel', you ask me, 'didn't you say that asexuality is when people don't have sexual attraction?' It can be! But there IS nuance, and that's what I am here to tell you.

There are two more factors beyond the SAM that you can consider:

"Are they sex repulsed, sex favorable, or sex neutral?"

Here is the "aces can still have sex" thing. A sex repulsed ace is probably what the majority of people think when they hear "asexual". It is an ace person who doesn't like sex. Doesn't want to have it, is disgusted by it, despises sexual intimacy, etc. They are the aces who tipically just don't want to have sex, and are very happy without it.

A sex favorable asexual is someone who likes it. Sure, they don't feel sexual attraction, but who's letting it stop them, right? They like sexual acts, they are fine and happy with having sex in general, and that's what the "aces can still have sex" point means. Yes, they can, if they want to! Maybe your character themself doesn't define themselves as neither repulsed nor favorable, but it's good to know what their instance on sex is.

Sex neutral asexuals are aces who are not repulsed by it, but are not really into it either. They may have sex, they may be fine with it, they may like it even, but they generally don't have a desire or strong feelings regarding it. It's just sex, after all.

Sex ambivalent asexuals are another thing I want to touch on. They are tipically aces whose instance on sex changes! Sometimes they may feel repulsed by it, sometimes they may want it, sometimes they may not care. They are neither strictly one, nor another. Their feelings change!

It's good to see where in this categorization your character or blorbo would be.

Inside the asexual spectrum, where do they stand?

If I were to represent the ace spectrum as a linear thing, I'd do it like this:

Image description: A linear representation of the asexual spectrum, in the shape of an arch. In one end, it is written "asexual", on the other, it is written "allosexual" and on the very middle, at the top of the arch, it is written "gray-asexual". /end ID.

or like this:

Image description: Another linear representation of the asexual spectrum. One of the ends is a black circle and the other is a white circle. Between them, a gradient goes from one circle to another, passing through different shades of gray. The black end is labelled as "asexual", the white end is labelled as "allosexual", and the gradient with shades of gray is labelled "different kinds of Gray-As". /end ID.

What is graysexual, you ask me? We all know that the world is not black-and-white, and as so, sexuality is also not. Grayace is a term for a person that is also asexual, but not strictly: that is, they are the "feels a little of sexual attraction" part of the spectrum. It is called like that because when we put asexual and allosexual in two ends of a spectrum, graysexuality stands in this gray area.

Gray sexuals may:

Experience sexual attraction only sometimes

Experience light sexual attraction

Experience sexual attraction under certain conditions in certain scenarios, for example, when they are already very intimate with a certain person

And many more! Graysexuality is on itself a spectrum, but having an idea of allosexual -> graysexual -> strictly asexual is already a good guide. Graysexuality can also be described as "having partial sexual attraction".

Fun fact about gray-aces: The asexual flag has four stripes; purple, white, gray and black. The purple stripe is meant to be a color signifier of the community, the white means allosexual, the gray means the gray aces and the black stripe represents people with strictly no sexual attraction. Hence the term "black stripe asexual" (which is not very popular but I personally like).

Micro-labels

You already have a basic understanding of the asexual spectrum and how it works, so you can think on where exactly in the spectrum your character/blorbo is. To help you out further, I present you the microlabels! Much like non binary is an umbrella term with many microlabels like genderqueer, xenogender and demigender, that help one explain their identity with more and more specific explanations, asexuals also have a lot of microlabels! Here are some:

Cupiosexual - asexual person that wishes to have a sexual relationship (example: i am cupioromantic person and i am basically a hopeless romantic and a yearner. cupiosexuality is similar, but with sex)

Gray sexual - asexual person with partial sexual attraction

Demisexual - asexual person who can only be attracted to people they already have a bond with

Abrosexual - person whose sexuality is fluid, and may be asexual at one time, bisexual at another, gay at another, etc.

Aceflux - asexual person whose sexuality changes, like abrosexual, but only between asexual identities

Aegosexual - asexual person who likes the idea of sex or fantasises about it, as long as it doesn't envolve them

Lythosexual - asexual person who is only sexually attracted to people they are not close with, and their sexual attraction fades out once the become closer

Myrsexual - asexual person that uses multiple asexual identities to describe their sexuality

Aroace - aromantic asexual person

Alloace - alloromantic asexual person

Apothisexual - sex-repulsed asexual person

These are not all micro labels in the asexual spectrum, but they are quite a lot. Maybe even if your charater is not sure if they are in a certain label or not, you may find them in some of these descriptions.

Links to resources with more microlabels: Tumblr post by @aroacesafeplaceforall (no images) /

/ A slightly longer list on asexuals.net (undescribed flags) /

/ Another guide for microlabels on lgbtqia.fandom.com (undescribed flags)

Bonus questions

Is it okay if I make my asexual character autistic? Is it not stereotyping? Yes, it's okay. There are actual asexual autistic people, and I'm sure they'd love to get represented as well!

Is it okay if I make my asexual character have sex? Is it not erasure? Yes, you can do that too! As long as it is where they stand in the spectrum (as explained in the topics above), you are doing a good thing by representing sex-favorable asexuals.

Do I have to make a romantic orientation for them too? No. Your character may be a non-sam ace, and identify as ace alone!

I heard that it is erasure if I make smut fanfic of ace character X. I don't get it how! While it is true many ace people have sex, many people when writing that just ignore their sexuality when writing/drawing smut of them! The spectrum is wide, so when you are doing that, remember where they stand on it.

Why can't I headcanon this ace character as allosexual? I headcanon straight characters as gay/bi/pan all the time and nobody says it's wrong! If people don't like my headcanon why can't they just look away? Because asexual people are a marginalized group, unlike straight people, so it is as okay to make them allo as it is to take an asian or black or jewish character and make them white. Because it is not just an individual headcanon; it's a part of a much bigger problem, and by avoiding headcanoning ace characters as allo, you are confronting your own internalized aphobia, which is a good thing! If you still want to make them have sex, well, that's what I made this guide for! So you can make them have sex as you wish without erasing their identity.

I am ace and am basing myself or my own experiences here. Is it okay if I...? The answer is generally yes. If you wanna write about a different ace experience than your own, a little bit of research won't hurt, though!

Is this enough for me to write my ace character? It is a start. This is a general guide, and there are some things I haven't touched on this guide (like aphobia) so I'd advice you to do more in-depth research on topics you want to focus more on, but this should get you pretty far.

Extra

"Is Alastor from Hazbin Hotel canonically ace or aroace?" (slightly related, because some people looking for this guide to write this guy might want to know this too)

Answer: link to a post clearing this up this with some sources. Short answer though, is that he is confirmed to be ace, not aroace.

"If I didn't understand something here, or I have more questions, can I ask you?"

Answer: Yes! You can reblog this post with questions, and my inbox is also open, and I make sure to always let anon on. I will be happy to help if I can.

"One of the image descriptions on this post was off or confusing, can you change it to X so it is better to understand it?"

Answer: Of course! I will need you to signal me in either the notes or in the inbox what I need to change, though.

"Are asexual people queer?"

Answer: Yes! Because the queer community, as the name suggests, is for people who are different, odd, and are not considered "normal" because of that. Asexual people are not a part of "the norm", because we don't feel sexual attraction, and therefore, we, and by extension your ace characters too, are queer.

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washedoutwings · 2 months

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hey guys!! just want to clear some stuff up when it comes to being aspec :)

recently we’ve been seeing some veeeeerrryyyyy incorrect takes, such as the following screenshot (no i didn’t blur the name, think of this as a blocklist for you)

as an arospec ace collective, we feel like we’re in a pretty good position to address this. this also isn’t the only person we’ve seen say stuff like this, but we don’t feel like hunting down other harmful takes :)

firstly, if we’re being loud it’s because we aren’t being heard.

[this is literally just how activism works, but go off ig?? -💖🐘]

secondly, who are you to comment on our struggles? we’re white, and as such we don’t pretend to understand the discrimination and struggles that poc face. we know that we have very different experiences and aren’t in a position to say what is and isn’t a struggle for them.

as for these struggles, parents maybe wanting grandkids is nothing. we are excluded from queer spaces for being too straight and not queer enough. we’re discriminated against by allo cishet people because we’re too gay and weird and immoral. when we create our own spaces we are told that we don’t deserve them. our only community is each other, and even then it’s filled with infighting because we’re all being told that we don’t belong anywhere.

we are told that we are fucked in the head, belong in a psych ward, are just trying to get attention, shouldn’t be allowed around people, are sociopaths/psychopaths (which is also ableist), are just naive/immature/ugly, just need an excuse for not getting laid, and are predators. these are literally all things that we (this collective) have been called personally.

we can’t talk about it in therapy or to doctors because now that’s the problem that needs to be fixed and we need to unpack the trauma that caused it. they are literally trying to tell us that our orientation is not real and is actually a problem or disorder that needs to be solved and changed. that is literal fucking conversion therapy

and we sincerely doubt that many aspec people would struggle with dealing with even worse aphobes because we do anyways. daily. from our family, our community, our healthcare, coworkers, classmates, and just about everyone else we interact with.

userboxes by @/inhumanliquid i think

#tw aphobia #tw ableism #aroace #arospec #aromantism #aromantic #aspec #aro pride #acespec #ace pride #asexuality #rook’s rambles #fuck aphobes

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gabessquishytum · 3 months

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Hob thinking Dream is asexual because he never dates or shows interest in anyone, meanwhile Dream has been in love with Hob for 20 years. 😭😭

- 🚒

I love this because like. Hob could totally not be wrong! Maybe Dream IS ace. But he's still been in love with Hob for 20 years... and Hob is a himbo who may have completely understood how asexuality works.

Look, when he first learned about ace people, he didn't really get it. Hob is very much allo and finds it a little difficult to understand. But he had a friend in his university's pride group who was ace, and they explained it to him. The thing is, they were very much asexual in a sex repulsed, only interested in platonic relationship kind of way. And Hob never got the memo that not all ace people feel like that.

And Hob really really cares about Dream, who has been his best friend since high school, so he wants to respect and be fully supportive of any way that Dream may feel or identify. Having applied his own form of logic and decided that Dream must be ace, he does everything he can to respect his friend. And that means... not bringing up the fact that Hob loves him and really really wants to have a lot of nasty sex with him. Cause Dream would obviously not want that. Right?

Now. Hob is not entirely wrong. Dream does identify somewhere within the spectrum of asexuality. He thinks he might be demisexual, but he's never actually talked about it. What he does know is that there is only one person in the world that he wants to date and do sex things with, and that's Hob. Unfortunately he assumes that Hob (who screws pretty much anything with a pulse but has never tried to screw Dream) must not be attracted to him.

They're both their own brand of stupid, basically.

How does this ultimately resolve? They end up going to a local Pride event together. Hob sees a tent with the ace flag and heads over - he is a Supportive Friend. He's hoping they might be selling pins or flags or something. Instead, he ends up seeing a poster which briefly highlights a number of identifies which fall under the umbrella of asexuality. By the time Dream finds him, Hob is having a small crisis, being comforted by one of the volunteers, who is also gently explaining to him that yes, some ace people like relationships and sex.

All of this means that after 20 years of knowing each other, Hob and Dream finally have to have a conversation about what they both want. The volunteer hands them some condoms, just in case, but both silly boys are more interested in gazing into each other's eyes adoringly!

And they may be using the condoms later... But Hob doesn't really mind. He'll take Dream any way he can get him, forever. No taking it back <333

#🚒 anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft

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twigstarpikachutroll22 · 2 years

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The thing about how when I tell people offline that I'm aroace they usually go "Oh, I didn't know that was a thing!" is like. It’s a good response, it’s good that the response I get generally isn’t outright aphobic, but it reminds me just how much they don't know. Like. The sheer range of the aro and ace spectrums and the experiences relating to attraction that I see people in those communities talk about, the amount of breaking down of attraction and relationships, the amount of discussion about ALLLLLLLLL the hecking nuance both of those can have, and like. So many people literally Do Not Know that even the words "aromantic" and "asexual" exist. And just "doesn't feel attraction" is the easiest and most basic thing here to understand. It’s the tip of the iceberg. It’s the tip of a really really freaking huge iceberg. And plenty of allos have a hard time wrapping their heads around even that, let alone all the many more identities and many many more kinds of experiences on these spectrums. So many people literally do not know that not feeling attraction the way they do is a thing. So many people, like, the VAST majority of the population, are entirely confined to this incredibly freaking limited ONE standard concept of how attraction and relationships can work that seems mandated for everycreature. So many people don't even know that anything outside of that exists. And SO MUCH outside of that can exist. It's some straight-up allegory of the cave junk.

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is-the-character-aroacespec · 2 days

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Is he aroace?

🧡 �� 🤍 🩵 💙

Reasoning under the cut due to lenght, same reason as Yor's poll:

The entire premise of the show kicks off because Yor didn't realize that dating was something she was expected to do and had to get into a fake relationship to cover her ass. Many fans run along with this and act like the use of that trope means that she and the other guy must Fall In Love For Real eventually, but Loid/Twilight literally thinks that at one point and brings it up in the show, asking if she's attracted to him and wants to legit become a couple, and Yor's response is to freak out at his misinterpretation and kick him in the head. She cares deeply for the Forger family, as does Twilight, but it's never shown in a romantic/sexual light for either of them. (Funnily enough, the same goes for Anya, who doesn't understand her peers' interest in romance and/or why Damian acts the way he does around her because of his crush. Aroace family baby.)

There's so much sincerity in how their relationship is written and it feels so reductive that people are like "oh yeah, it's because they're Totally Dating :TM:" in a way that goes blatantly against the text just because they care more about shipping than the story. Yor has so many worries about the ways she doesn't fit society's idea of "normal", trying her best to live up to what she sees as her role in the family - and her family isn't normal! It isn't! They're a spy and an assassin and a psychic, who all have identities that the rest of the world can't know. But it's never considered a negative thing by the narrative, and in fact much of the theme of Spy x Family relates to how they make it work and have something precious between themselves anyway. She's a wonderful character, and I just. Have FEELINGS about this cast. Argh. We stan the silly aspecs forever.

#loid forger #spy x family #poll #aroace

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vidavalor · 3 months

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Hello! I brought leek and potato soup this time! Hope you like something hearty 😊

Not a question but an observation: in the pub in s2, when Aziraphale admits heaven is sending someone to check on the 25 Lazarii miracle, and that he told them he made Nina & Maggie fall in love because that’s the first thing he could think of, Crowley says: “Do a little miracle, wiggle your fingers about, Nina falls for Maggie, problem solved.” And Aziraphale replies: “Ah, miracles don’t work like that.”

So. I guess this means that he tried, and found out the hard way that it doesn’t work, because heaven clearly doesn’t seem to be aware that miracles don’t work like that 😬

Who do you think he tried to cupid into being together? And also, I don’t think Crowley has such a huge knowledge gap about miracles that he wouldn’t know this already, so do you think he’s saying something else in ineffable husband speak here, too?

Allo @procrastiel 💕 Thanks for the soup! It sounds amazing. Coffee? Banana bread? *shares* It's fantastic, if I do say so myself. 😊

I think the scene you're talking about is saying something a little different if you look at two words the show is messing around with in this and other scenes-- passion and miracles-- so, let's do that for a bit...

In the pub scene, Crowley and Aziraphale actually don't have a gap in their understanding of "how miracles work" when it comes to love. They're actually just, initially, speaking of two different types of emotions: a pash versus a passion.

Because of Aziraphale's use of the word pash to describe his impression of Maggie's feelings for Nina-- and his tone when he does so-- Crowley mistakenly believes at the start of the scene that Aziraphale isn't very invested in Maggie and Nina having an actual relationship. Because of this, Crowley correctly states that doing a miracle would solve their issue. Miracles, in this case, do actually work like this. They can influence-miracle someone to replicate infatuation if they wanted to, which is what Crowley is suggesting, only because his impression from how Aziraphale has phrased Maggie's feelings versus the direness of them keeping Gabriel hidden for everyone's sake has led Crowley to think that such a miracle, while not really advisable, would solve their problem.

Crowley was not present for the scenes Aziraphale had with Maggie prior to the pub scene so he doesn't know how Maggie and Nina came to be roped into this whole 'miracle to protect Gabriel' mess. Crowley, in that moment in the pub, doesn't yet understand that Aziraphale wants to do more about this than just solve the issue when the angels show up to verify the miracle.

He doesn't know that Aziraphale has this other problem happening where he unintentionally hurt Maggie and now he is trying to fix it so he really does ship the shop lesbians now and he wants them to get real deal love.

Aziraphale isn't eager to tell Crowley the details about this at this point because, in doing so, he would have to talk more about his own emotions that led him to say the wrong thing here and he's not ready for that. Instead, he clues Crowley into the fact that he wants to see if they can help the women to fall in actual love without telling Crowley at this point the whole saga of how he messed up with Maggie by rejecting the influence miracle idea with:

"Miracles don't work like that."

By this, Aziraphale means what they both know to be true-- that love doesn't work like that.

Love isn't something they can miracle into existence. They can make someone appear infatuated with someone-- that is within their powers-- but they cannot make anyone actually fall in love. They can miracle up something of a manufactured pash but they cannot miracle up a true passion.

Once Crowley understands that Aziraphale is more invested in this relationship and how it plays out, he is then immediately into playing Cupid-- and also into using coming up with ideas as a way to seduce Aziraphale, romantically suggesting that they try to create a scenario like their own first kiss for Maggie and Nina.

To which Aziraphale, who was just not long ago listening to Maggie-- who barely knows Nina-- sob about a failed attempt at giving Nina, who already has a partner, a record, replies: "Doesn't seem likely," which he means as if to say: there is no way these mortal young ladies who barely know each other and who don't have the slightest idea about romance could ever vavoom the way we did and do and which Crowley playfully takes as Aziraphale jokingly rejecting Crowley's narrative of their romance that has them both dead set, made-for-each-other gone on each other ever since that moment. He grumbles and insists that it's true that if you get humans (them lol) wet and staring into each other's eyes, that it's vavoom, sordid/sorted, and pretends he "saw it in a Richard Curtis film" when they both know exactly what he's talking about.

There is some wordplay in "doesn't seem likely" itself. Seem is homophonic for seam-- part of seamstressing as sexual euphemism-- and likely is of the word like, which can refer to the body (as in, someone's "likeness" and, uh, the like.) Both words are in other scenes as well--("O, Flour of Ssss' Cot Land/When will we see/sea your likes again" 😂)-- but the word choice is mainly just underscoring Aziraphale's whole tone of: um, I wouldn't get your hopes up, dear, I know you love your rainstorms but I'm not sure they are capable of vavooming like us-- it might actually kill them. Please don't break my shop lesbians.

Their initial confusion over this comes from Aziraphale using pash-- British English for an infatuation, or what we in the U.S. refer to as a crush. It's first blush of attraction and not really fully developed. It's puppy love or just thinking someone is attractive without a lot of substance or developed emotion or intimacy. The word comes from passion but, bizarrely, means kind of the opposite of it in many ways, which is part of the wordplay around the word in GO.

Passion was originally a word developed as a result of high up members of Christian theocracy specifically to describe one thing and one thing only: the crucification of Jesus Christ.

It comes from the Old Latin root pati and the Old Latin passio, which mean to suffer and to endure. This word that was originally quite literally created by humans specifically and intentionally to describe the martyrdom of the pivotal figure in Christianity? It is the Grand Dame of Crowley & Aziraphale words because, as we know, it has then been further evolved by humans to also become the foremost word to describe erotic love.

Passion in the erotic, sexual love sense is also in the scene with talk of pash and miracles-- just in synonym form:

Vavoom: Alternatively, va-va-voom: Voluptuously sexy; of, or pertaining to, sensual pleasure; passionate.

It is primarily these definitions-- the erotic and the religious-- that Good Omens is contrasting but the other meaning of passion is part of the wordplay as well. For instance, as we know, there is a non-religious, non-erotic definition of passion and it is just to have a strong emotion for-- or interest in-- something.

If you are reading this post, it could be said that you are a passionate fan of Good Omens. In S2, Mr. Arnold and Mutt are both convinced by Aziraphale to come to The Meeting Ball based on their passions in life-- Mr. Arnold's love of Doctor Who and Mutt's love of the history of magic. Passion, in this definition, can refer just to things about which we are wild but that are not necessarily an erotic pursuit or that have any religious connection.

It's the erotic love definition, though, that is being most directly contrasted on Good Omens with the religious definition. It began in S1 in the 1.03 Cold Open with the Golgotha scene. Here, we had Crowley and Aziraphale in discussion as they watched the beginning of what would become called The Passion-- the suffering and death of Jesus.

As Jesus is being nailed to the cross, Crowley and Aziraphale discuss him and, in the process, the subject of Crowley's name comes up. It remains the most significant thing in the scene and on where the scene ends because the reveal of it-- something we do not fully understand until S2-- is the other definition of passion in the scene.

What we can see in S1 is that Crowley has gone by many names and Aziraphale is well-aware of the reputations associated with those personas that Crowley has been adopting. He sounds a bit jealous over Asmodeus, in particular, whom he-- and we-- know to be the Demonic Prince of Lust. While further story indicates that this is largely something that Crowley is play-acting to make everyone think that he's something that he's really not, it is a thing and Aziraphale is pretending to sound like he's not envious of the idea of Crowley's attentions being elsewhere.

It's off of that pretty terribly disguised jealousy lol that Crowley tells Aziraphale what name he's chosen for himself and it's the one we recognize that he has still in the present. We see that the name seems significant to Aziraphale in some way but we don't yet understand why. As a result, we don't fully understand this S1 scene until after 2.02, because we hadn't yet seen the Job minisode that came chronologically before Golgotha:

As a result of the Job minisode, we now more fully understand that Crowley's confession of sorts was really here, back in 33 A.D.. He changed his name to something with meaning to only himself and Aziraphale and we know now the circumstances that led to why. In doing this and telling Aziraphale, Crowley is admitting to Aziraphale that he's mad about him. The scene is visual wordplay around passion-- The Passion of the Christ and the passion of the Crowley.

So, there's the religious Passion that might become ever more important in a potentially Jesus-oriented S3; there are the passions-- the interests and hobbies of all of the characters; and there's the new pash of Maggie and Nina and its contrasting parallel-- the very old, romantic passion of Crowley and Aziraphale.

So, if Crowley and Aziraphale's language around pash got them mixed about miracles at the start of the pub scene...

...what are miracles to them, exactly?

We've already seen evidence that Aziraphale used the word basically interchangeably with "love" in his "miracles don't work like that." The two of them can perform supernatural miracles so there's always that level of it and there's the human understanding of and definition of miracles in play as well.

To us humans, a miracle may or may not be a word with a religious connotation. Either way, it is an event that is seen as supernatural or divine in its lack of a concrete explanation and its likely inability to be achieved through understood human means. It is always a welcome, positive event. It inspires a sense of joy and wonder in people. It is something magical.

Additionally, if you take apart the word a bit, as remains our strongest wordplay suggestion in the series from its opening war-in-warning shot, you have two other words of note: mir and acle.

Mir is a Russian word meaning peace and also a commune. In the West, it is most familiar to people as the name of the Russian space station in the 1980s and 1990s, which Crowley and Aziraphale probably liked. An acle is a kind of tree... which we could then add to the 'words related to the vavoomy canopy' list.

In true Good Omens form, it's actually the scene after the one in the pub that underlines the fact that the word miracle is part of their vocabulary-- and it makes not only the pub scene make more sense retrospectively but also some moments in S1 (the "real miracle" bit in 1941, Part 1, in particular.) The scene that shows them being a bit arch about the fact that they mess around with the word miracle is The Clue:

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As Aziraphale explains the whole "Everyday" record thing happening with the jukebox at the pub in Edinburgh, he says to Crowley with dramatic flourish that is intentionally over-the-top-- even by Aziraphale standards-- that the mystery: "...is, as you might say, 'a miracle'" to which Crowley replies a dry: "Ooh."

Part of the wordplay is that the more usual way to say what Aziraphale says to Crowley here-- even if flirting with someone-- would be to say that the record mystery "is, as one might say, 'a miracle'". Aziraphale said "as you might say...," a joke on Crowley himself and both of them using miracle to mean more than the supernatural actions they were once assigned to perform.

The amusing thing is that we will learn that The Resurrectionist jukebox mystery actually really is a miracle, in all of Crowley and Aziraphale definitions of the word. It's a romantic action-- Gabriel's miracle for Beez-- that parallels the miracles Crowley and Aziraphale do to romance one another.

So, what's magical to the magical Crowley and Aziraphale? What's miraculous to these two who can perform literal, supernatural miracles?

Love.

Miracles are a kind of magic that inspires wonder and brings about feelings of communion, joy and peace. That definition is, arguably, what a lot of people would call the positive emotions associated with being in love.

To Crowley and Aziraphale then, miracles and the miraculous do not just refer to the supernatural but to the romantic.

If love is miraculous, then talk of miracles can also be talk of love.

If love is miraculous, then talk of performing miracles can also be talk, on one level, of making love.

You know what was a 25 Lazarii miracle? You and I the other night. We raised the damn dead, old serpent...

If love is miraculous-- and if talk of performing miracles can be talk of making love-- then performing supernatural miracles can be a form of flirtation and romance.

If love is miraculous, then expressing how precious the peace you find with your partner is to you is reiterating how much you love them-- especially poignant when spoken in the middle of a disagreement.

If love is miraculous, then to use supernatural miracles to alter your partner's space-- really: your shared space-- can be a way to tease or a way to comfort.

If love is miraculous, then performing a joint supernatural miracle together to protect each other and the contentious family that is currently staying in the guest room is basically getting engaged.

If love is miraculous, then all phrases people have that are related to miracles of any kind can also be phrases related to love.

For instance: Real miracle.

A "real miracle" in the human world is a subjective thing, based upon an individual's level of belief in magical thinking but, to humans open to it, something considered a "real miracle" is something both wondrous and true and, if love is miraculous in Ineffable Husbands Speak, a real miracle would be a way to describe true love.

Since Crowley and Aziraphale can perform literal miracles, though, and since they have a wordplay thing... there's also that real is homophonic for reel.

A reel, in this case, being the part of the fishing rod used to reel in caught fish.

A real/reel miracle (in Ineffable Husbands Speak): A supernatural miracle performed by one of them only for the purpose of romancing the other; an action the equivalent of expressing love for each other.

If love is miraculous, though? A miracle does not have to be a supernatural one. Aziraphale, in particular, is especially good at miracles-- acts of love-- performed only with human magic.

Finally, if love is miraculous, then:

"How about The Ritz? I believe a table for two has just *miraculously* come free."

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#ineffable husbands #good omens #aziracrow #good omens meta #crowley x aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands speak #etymology

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rat-rambles · 6 months

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Ok Alastor shippers of all sorts, I'm going to put in my two cents and before I get into I'm a pro shipper all around just don't be mean to each other and tags are there for a reason.

My credentials: I'm an gray ace, aro person who's been around Fandom a very long time. Personally I've been initiated with the “but al is ace aro so you can't ship him” discourse and first off that's not true both because we can date -I Have a long term Partner- and because I've explored a lot of my queer identity through Fandom and fanfics and I think others should get the chance to do the same. I'm sure a lot of people will learn they’re ace aro because of alastor. That being said ik a lot of you writers out there aren't ace aro and are new to the topic so I'm going to go over some of my personal suggestions of how you could make Canon compliant works. (And if you do any or find any please send to me I'd love to see it)

Oblivious Alastor

Canonically this man doesn't know he's an ace in the hole. And I don't believe an egomaniac like him would assume that there's anything “different” about himself. ik when I was a baby ace I thought everyone was just being dramatic basically before realizing I was the exception. I can see this going 2 ways.

Radiostatic (pre show): vox is obviously completely smitten with al and al sees dating a more powerful overlord as an advantage(which vox in the past was the more powerful of the two). And Al starts getting slowly more and more uncomfortable and vox gets pushy in a very manipulative way.

Radioapple: enemies to friends to lovers? After Al and Luci become close friends, Luci starts to catch feelings for Al and Al agrees to date him seeing as he is fond of him and he's a very powerful ally so why wouldn't Al date him? As the relationship progresses they’re both confused by Alastor's behavior. Luci tries to be respectful. You know maybe he's just very against pda. And al doesnt understand why he's not feeling the things he's meant to.

I can see Al reverse heteronormativity- ing his way into assuming he's gay because he's NOT straight.

Malicious intent

Same as the last one except Al knows he doesn't have feelings for them like that and is trying to be toxic and uses them. IE what if Al was a gold digger actually.

Maybe I am in love?

Al actually thinks that he MUST be feeling a romantic connection because this is the closest he's ever been to someone and once again, gets steadily more confused as he realizes what he and his partner are experiencing is different.

All of these can end in nice queer platonic bliss and I think any story where Al and his partner discover he's ace after establishing the relationship is inherently interesting.

Last note some ace vocabulary

Ace and aro are a spectrum. Typically with ace people they will self identify as either sex positive, sex negative, or sex neutral. With Al it's generally head cannoned that he's sex negative but that's not explicitly Cannon and sex positive and neutral aces are valid.

Sex negative: is self explanatory it's what everyone thinks aces are; I don't want sex ever the idea grosses me out ect.

Sex neutral: is when someone doesn't have the desire for sex but isn't repulsed by it either. If they are in a relationship and their partner wants to have sex they’re open to it but don't expect initiation on their part.

Sex positive: people have a hard time understanding this because it's the seperating of the need for sex from the want. Typically if a sex positive ace were to never have sex again they'd die happy but if they have a willing partner they are happy to participate. It builds intimacy. It feels good, it's nice but it's not the same as being allo and having that cardinal lust.

note: please know what type your head cannoning Al as in your works when writing it, although people of course can change which they feel they align with, it's important to know how he's feeling about it.

I'm not as familiar with aro terminology but like with ace it's more about the drive the need the anguish. Al wouldn’t in cannon crave romantic connection.

Like with ace it's not actually cannon what type of aro he is some aro people are completely repulsed by the idea of romantic relationships or they only like it in theory (which playing around with the idea of Al liking a relationship in theory but not in practice could be a lot of fun.)

The gray romantic umbrella are aro people who can have romantic attraction to some degree. They’re still aro you can head cannon Al as it but please do a little research into which one you think your version of Al would identify with there quite a few so I'll spare the list here.

Demi romantic is when someone can develop romantic attraction for very specific people, very rarely. These people won't be on Bumble but might fall for someone after knowing them for a few years (or an indeterminate amount of time, my timeline was a year and a half I shit you not) a lot of you are looking for that.

As for kink. Lots of queer people especially are into kink because it's intimate, it's physical, it requires trust but it's not actually inherently sexual a lot of the time. And we do know that Al likes torturing and being dominant so yeah he'd be kinky that's completely canon compliant.

At the end of the day Al is ace aro in the show and that's what counts. Have fun be creative, explore the depths of your queer little minds and please be nice to each other.

(and if any of you make works related to this please please please send them to me thanks)

#hazbin alastor #alastor #radiostatic #radioapple #radio silence #acespec #ace #aro #arospec #aro pride #hazbin hotel #ace alastor #aro alastor

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archivomeow · 1 month

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can we talk about the fact that even when a character is canonically/confirmed aroace there will still be allo romance and allo sex/smut written by them? *rant below*

yes aros can date and aces can have sex, but have it ever occurred to the allos that maybe repulsed aroaces or those who don’t want to date or fuck or even allos who don’t want to do those activities deserve to be represented and respected in media?

It will always be „it’s not confirmed!” „comics/og piece of media isn’t the new piece of media!”, but the moment it is confirmed it’s always „they could be *insert any aro/ace spec identity that feels romantic/sexual attraction.” or „but aros can date!” „aces can have sex!” „qprs exists!”

The point is people who say that mainly like 99% of them are allos, straight, bi, gay, lesbian, they’re still allos, they’re allos and they don’t understand how it works, so they write aroaces in romantic and/or sexual relationships where they portray them as allo, they write qprs, as a romantic/sexual relationship, while not fully understanding what a qpr or how such relationships are navigated, they don’t understand that a repulsed aromantic wouldn’t date, because dating implies romance and how does one that’s uncomfortable with it would engage in it? same thing goes for repulsed asexuals.

it hurts that people will always find a way to excuse ship an aro/ace character, to erase my sexuality, it feels like that one time i talked with my mother and she told me that whatever i choose to do when it comes to dating is up to me, that she will accept me no matter if i date men or women and i felt a spark od hope so i asked what if i won’t date anyone? to which she said i will, cause everyone eventually does.

they don’t care that by saying all those things they’re hurting actual people, aros who don’t want to date, aces who don’t want to have sex, allos who don’t want to have those relationships as well or even those who don’t want qprs, as no qprs are not to replace romance for aros or sexual relationships for aces.

#aro #aromantic #asexual #ace #aroace #aromantic asexual #romance repulsed #sex repulsed #repulsed aroace

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redysetdare · 1 year

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Ig the part that gets me about crushes and dating is that so many allos skip the part where you become acquaintances and then friends and instead jump straight into being partners. For how much important they put on the strength of romantic partners it's wild to be that they basically jump right into dating someone and get to know them AFTER they start dating instead of like...before.

like...i cannot wrap my brain around that. How do you do the get to know you step after you get together? that seems like prime reason to breakup? why go through that if you can get to know the person first? I get that so many ppl say "Thats what dates are for" but how many dates until you know someone? there are people out there who go on one date and get together. the fact you only talk to someone with the reason being that you want to date them is weird in of itself to me.

I just cannot understand it. i cannot figure allos out and at this rate i don't know if i want to. they are working on completely different logic.

#text #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #dating mention #romance mention #aspec

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bloggingboutburgers · 6 days

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Something that really ought to be said more... it's ok not to understand. To never understand even. (In the case of the reblog, understanding sex / peoples' fixation on both it and romance, but it can apply to anything.)

People can give all myriad of reasons they do or like something, but that doesn't have to change your mind about how you personally engage with it.

I think the only case where understanding matters is insofar having a greater understanding helps limit how much people hate something out of ignorance, but that isn't foolproof (people can understand and still double down, which I've seen happen a lot towards every hated group under the sun).

Aspec or not, your cultural upbringing and how you physically perceive intimacy of all kinds is going to affect both if you enjoy it and how you understand it.

For many, sex and romance isn't an important goal but a thing that just happens. The uniquity of it with "life" is worth questioning, especially in cases where people feel pressured to perform and participate in sex and romance. But for many it isn't something they plan for at all. They may include it in fanfiction or fanart (and yeah it absolutely is prevalent in that space the same way edgy ms paint furry art was prevalent in the early 2010s) but that inclusion is not a message to onlookers that they must themselves aspire to a relationship like the one depicted.

Thank you so much for this, it feels sincerely validating and... Yeah, like you said, it ought to be said more.

I gotta admit it's hard sometimes not to want to understand, when (as an aro/ace person, that is) you're pretty much incentivized to do so at every turn. Even if you're lucky enough to not have been treated as a prudish freak for expressing you're aro or ace, and finger-pointed with a "You should try to understand people's point of view better" (sic: very few people try to do the same for you)... Society is portrayed as just working that way, putting romance and sex as #1 priority is portrayed as "the normal thing to do", and in my own experience and a fair amount of aros and aces around me, it seems, it's not just "included" in fanfiction or fanart, it's... Aggressively prevalent. Like, 95% to be generous, possibly more. And it's not just fanwork either. Fiction and art in general are loaded with it. So... Yeah, it's kinda hard sometimes NOT to take all of this as a message that this is what we should aspire to and the way we are isn't valid.

But then even if you're lucky enough, like I am, to FEEL valid despite all that, it's still... Lonely. I wanna understand because some days, a lot of days, it seems it's the only thing people actually connect over, and even if I'll never feel the appeal, I wanna understand the logic behind it, at least that much, so I'm not made to feel like such an alien for wanting to focus on other things. I wanna know the reasons.

Another more personal thing is that when I was growing up as an aro-ace, before I figured myself out, I thought everyone else was blowing things out of proportion to an abnormal degree without realizing I was the "abnormal" one, and that lead me to see breakups with a very "well, duh, that's what people do, they break up" outlook and not understanding the devastation behind it. I've gotten better at it, but there's still a lot I just find myself smiling and nodding to without really getting it, and that hurt too, to a degree. I feel cold to my friends and to other people.

I know I shouldn't, because I am who I am and I don't love them any less or am any more unfeeling than them, and I know I guess I shouldn't feel too guilty for not understanding allo people because allo people in general, exceptions aside, will make little to no effort to understand me back, but... Yeah, it's hard not to, a lot of the time. So being told it's OK is definitely valuable and a relief, even if it won't make that feeling go away in me, it's still a relief. Thank you.

#vilevexedvixen #aroace #asexual #aromantic #aspec

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