#i always say in my mind that 'this update ill keep it short'

[calekinnieplus]

Would you look at that? I've read 5 hours today. Not too shabby. Also reached chapter 550, noice

Anyway, Klein just Loves involving himself in matters concerning gods, huh? Not that I'm complaining, it's very entertaining

This time it was a goddamn Sea God, Kalvetua (I had to double check how to spell that name).

Poor Danitz, he is now tied to Gehrman Sparrow for a while. He is definitely fine with that hahaha. (He kinda reminds me of Emlyn, with his reluctant cooperation with Klein lmao)

Edwina Edwards is so cool tho. Imagine havimg the authority to convince a bunch of pirates to attend classes. Badass.

Just Elland is a cool guy, too. I appreciate his fairness. He is great for that (He's like Detective Isengard Stanton: the Sea version heh)

Alger is such a crafty fox lmao. His eye for the perfect opportunity is impeccable, very admirable. o7 to you, Mr Hanged Man. Here's to your future advancement to Sequence 6 🥂 love seeing you more in this volume, Mr Wilson

Audrey and Fors advanced to Sequence 7 and 8 respectively! Good for them! They're so lovely, but they have less of a focus this arc, it seems. That's alright, each character brings something interesting to the table when it's time.

And of course! I can't go to sleep before I mention how much of an absolute BADASS Klein - or should I say, Gehrman Sparrow - has been in these chapters!! HE'S SO EPIC AND SMART AND RESOURCEFUL AND CAREFUL AND STRATEGIC AND RUTHLESS AND- kind. At his core, it's still Klein Moretti. And Klein Moretti is kind. Even in this world, which seems to desire madness and chaos. Kudos to Klein. Keep it up, dear boy

Until next time :)

[gelus-ugs]

When he sees your scars~ Xavier Thorpe x Reader

—————————————————————

TW - Self harm

Gender neutral reader (pronouns not specified)

Established relationship

In no way am I romanticizing self harm, suicidal ideation, or mental illnesses, this is a way for me to cope w my problems

Update: I haven’t heard anything about the Percy Hynes White situation, so I’m opening back up requests for Xavier Thorpe!

—————————————————————

It had been a stressful past few weeks

It was test, upon test, upon test - not to mention there was also homework and extra curricular activities

You were raised as the star gifted kid, so no matter what, you had to keep your grades up and be on top of everything

This resulted in unhealthy habits

Little to no sleep, reducing basic hygiene, neglecting food and water, pushing away friends..

And unfortunately, self harm

It was a stress reliever - and a punishment at times

No one knew you did it - you always managed to hide it under your blazer or leggings

This time was no different - you went through the school day in a long sleeved button up and dark tights despite it being the middle of summer

Once the school day ended, you found yourself having time to relax for once

Xavier took the opportunity to invite you to paint in his shed with him

You couldn’t deny the request - especially since you missed your significant other. So there you were, dressed in a casual T-shirt and shorts on your way to your boyfriend’s art shed

He immediately greeted you with a hug once you arrived

He already had two canvases set up side by side, a stool in front of each of them as a supply of paint and brushes sat in the middle

Xavier put on some music as the two of you began to paint away, talking about whatever came to mind and occasionally singing along to the songs that played in the background

As you were humming a song while painting, Xavier glanced over at you to see what you were painting

However, he halted when he noticed the scars on your body - and they were obviously recent

Xavier was unsure on how to react, he just sat still as he heavily gulped

When did you do that? Why did you do that? Had you been struggling this entire time and he hadn’t noticed? Were you not comfortable enough to talk about your problems with him?

So many questions swirled in his mind as he couldn’t help but stare

“Hey, Xavi. Which color do you think-”

You cut yourself off when you noticed him staring at you with a troubled look on his face

You looked down, following his gaze - and that’s when you realized

Oh

“Xavier, I’m s-”

He pulled you into a hug, almost knocking you off your stool in the process

You hugged him back, confused but not saying anything

As you sat in each other’s embrace, you noticed his body shaking and his breath quivering

“How long?”

“Huh?”

“How long have…you been doing that?”

Xavier’s voice was shaking, as if he was holding back tears

You hesitated, letting out a sigh

“Well..I hadn’t done it for a while but I had relapsed a few weeks ago”

Xavier pulled back from the hug, placing one of his hands on your shoulder as the other caressed your face.

His touch was go gentle, as if he was worried you were going to disappear or crack at any second

His gaze was worried - terrified, even - and filled with tears that he was obviously trying to hold in.

“W-why? Is it a-anything I could help with? I don’t want to lose you, you mean so much to me..”

Xavier’s voice was small, cracking and stuttering every so often as the tears finally rolled down his face

You felt so guilty, knowing this was one of the reasons you hid your problems from everyone. You hated confrontation and you hated worrying people

You avoided eye contact, feeling your emotions begin to build up inside of you

“I’m sorry..I’ve just been really stressed lately and it’s been by go-to. I didn’t want to bother you or anyone else with my problems, so..”

You trailed off, feeling the tears begin to build as your breath began to stagger

Xavier pulled you into - yet another - hug, one of his hands gently rubbing your back while the other gently rested on the back of your head

“Oh, baby. You could never bother me with your problems. I love you so, so much and I know I can’t solve your problems, but I want to help you with them the best I can. I just..I don’t want to lose you or have you suffer alone”

You felt yourself begin to cry as Xavier spoke. You never had much validation for your mental health, figuring that your academic performances were more important. You genuinely felt supported and heard, which was more than enough to cause your emotions to finally tip over

Xavier held you as you cried, whispering sweet nothings and occasionally placing kisses on your cheek or head

You - somehow - ended up falling asleep in Xavier’s embrace, the fatigue catching up to you

Xavier carried you to a corner of the shed, gently placing you down on some of the bean bags and pillows

Yes, I’m convinced he has a corner in the shed that has bean bags, pillows, and blankets for whenever he wants to chill in his shed overnight or if you two wanna get away from others

He tucked you in, placing a blanket over you, before beginning to walk away

To his surprise, you grabbed the fabric of his pants (Since you’re laying down, his pants are the highest you can reach)

He turned around, seeing you sleepily and sadly looking up at him

“Don’t go”

His heart immediately ached at the sight. You were so vulnerable and tired, it was adorable yet sad

Xavier immediately snuggled under the blanket with you, gently holding you close to him as he occasionally placed kisses on the top of your head

You both fell asleep not too long afterwards <3

—————————————————————

If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or some sort of mental illness, it’s alright to experience that and your feelings are valid. Please seek out help, it’ll be worth it in the future - even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. Someone out there loves you. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it ❤️

[andromedaexists]

WUPDATE: Desecrate

𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝟷𝟹𝚝𝚑 || 𝚂𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝙱𝙱

This week has been interesting to say the least! I'm leaving at 5am tomorrow for Seattle, which means that I had to fit a full 45 hour work week into Sunday-Wednesday. Needless to say, not much else got done lmao

But that's okay! I'm planning on getting the QBD back up and running this weekend (I wake up early so I figured I'd work on it while waiting for Lilloon to wake up). I also really want to hit 10k in Desecrate re-writes this weekend, and we're already really close!! We're sitting at 7,160 words as of right now! I think hitting 10k this weekend is feasible!

Next week is also going to be rough, I'm arriving back home at 12:30 AM on Tuesday, then I have to fit a 50 hour work week in before the end of Saturday!

Lots of work right now to accommodate my travel, but also lots of progress on my projects! I'm also anticipating having some big announcements on Easter Sunday and I'm participating in the Trans Rights Readathon from March 22nd-29th! Oh!! And I started recording my family recipes and uploading them on YouTube in preparation for a secret project!

Lots of updates, lots of updates! But without further ado, some snippies!

Snippit one:

Kit takes in a deep breath, trying to ground himself. What was that dream? Was it a dream? Fuck, he needs to write it down. He swings his arm up over his head, mindlessly grappling the sheet to find his phone where he left it plugged in last night only to realize it wasn’t there. Fuck. He wrestles his way out of the blanket and rolls onto his stomach to see where the phone could have gone only to find the cord holding it as it dangled over the edge of the bed. He needs to hurry before he forgets the dream, his fingers quickly swiping the pattern on the lock screen and opening his voice notes.

Snippet Two:

He’s back in the country, right? No reason why he couldn’t do what his mom always did to blow off bad feelings. He gets off the bed, grabbing the shorts he discarded earlier that night and sliding them back on before walking to the box of clothes he found while looking for his bedding and grabbing a pair of socks. He throws on his converse, knowing that he’s going to regret wearing them but he doesn’t have it in him to search through boxes for more substantial shoes right now. Stepping out into the brisk night air under the full moon is like stepping through into a different world. Kit can feel each and every step that pounds into the asphalt, but he keeps moving. Just a quick jog down the road to really work out all the anxiety from the dream, careful to stick to the center of the road instead of wondering too close to the woods that hold God knows what. This is what his mom would always do when she was feeling under the weather, whether from mental or physical illness. She always said that it would make her sweat out the bad and leave her with a clear mind, hopefully it does the same for him. Kit’s never been a runner, and he knows that he will not be able to run the full mile that Mom used to, turning back as soon as his knees started to ache just a bit too much for his comfort.

I also have a special art piece that I got in! (CW: sexual acts and full nudity)

TAGLIST

@lockejhaven @mr-writes @eleanordaze @flowerprose @starlitpage @dogmomwrites @annetilney @ceph-the-ghost-writer @inkspellangel @outpost51

Please fill out this form to be added or ask to be removed!

[therealpontius]

Are you mad at me?

Plot: chris is mad but mad at what or who you dont know

Warnings: angst/inappropriate subjects/ upsetting themes

"Hey baby welcome home!" You welcomed chis, arms open wide waiting for a cuddle "Yeah..." instead he just took off his shoes and gave you a small hug “whats wrong babe?” “Nothing, nothing” he twaddled upstairs leaving you confused and scared incase you had done something “oh well he would never keep anything from me, probably just in a weird mood” you whispered to yourself, walking to the kitchen to continue making the tacos you where serving for dinner.

An hour later the tacos were almost done and you hadnt seen chris, maybe he just needed some alone time, you thought. “Chris baby! Tacos!” You waited with a smile expecting chris to gallop down the stairs with a smile on his face. Slowly he appeared with no expression, his eyes caught yours and he gave you a loose, sarcastic smile.

You two sat down on the table in silence, the fear of him being upset killing you “so um, hows your day been?” He looked up at you from his food “alright” he mumbled, stuffing his taco in his mouth. You couldnt help but smile at how cute he looked “yours?” He asked quitley “yeah good babe thanks! Work wasnt that busy today. I got alot of…” he looked up at you like he was bored so you decided to stop “sorry i got side tracked”

The rest of dinner was silent and you couldnt push the lump in your throat aside, chris only got weird like this rarely but it never got better. “Ill get the dishes” he mumbled once you finished eating “thanks baby”. You watched him wash them slowly “baby?” “Hm?” His eyes met yours in the window reflection “are you okay?” He just nodded and continued washing, you walk over to him at wrap your arms around his waist, cuddling into his back “i love you” you spoke into his back so that it could vibrate the skin, it always made him giggle but this time he never did, still just washing the dishes “love you too” “clearly” this was the first time you really spoke back to him and you kinda got embarrassed afterward, walking up to your shared room to isolate yourself from him.

Another two hours had gone by and he sat in the living room watching the tv while you watched the tv in the bedroom on the phone to your best friend pam “has he got any female co workers?” “Not that i know of…” you thought, mind racing “when was the last time you had sex?” “Like two days ago and he was just how he usually is” “good?” “PAM.. yes” you both giggled like he wasnt your long term boyfriend “i say you seduce him, wear something skimpy and tease him untill hes begging for you to fuck him” your face soured at her speaking so dirty but at the same time she mightve been right “pam i hate to admit it, i think i might do that” she giggled “honestly girl DO IT, call me tommorow and update me” “okay love you bye” you flipped your phone shut and instantly go to your drawers.

You slipped on a black lacy two peace he got you for your two year anniversary and over it you put on a white, short crop top, light brown, short denim skirt and to finish off white thigh high socks.

“Deep breaths” you told your self walking down the wooden stairs, flirting and being sexy wasnt your strong point. You entered the living room to chris lying back watching terminator, his head darted to you instantly but he tried to act like he couldnt care less. “Going out?” “No just felt like dressing up” you say quietly snuggling up to his arm that rested behind his head. You smiled against him, he may be pissed but he never failed to make you smile. 30 minutes passed and you made yourself cosy on him, facing him lying against his chest, his legs sat between yours yet he still kept his arms behind his head like he would be poisoned if he hugged you back.

You let out a yawn against his chest and he looked down at you, a small smile creeping up on his face thinking of how cute you looked “tired?” He said in a monotone voice “a little” “you can go to be-“ “no i wanna stay with you” at this point you gave up on trying to seduce him, you didnt even try you just wanted to cuddle him. Lightly he flumped his arms around you like he was against the idea of cuddling but was warming up, you were never sure why he got like this sometimes but you didnt really care it was still him.

You woke up to chris turning the tv off, he noticed you blinked your eyes open “bed time” voice much softer than it has been. He lifted you up with ease and carried you in a cuddle to your shared room, your eyes still blinking to try wake up. He placed you on the bed and sat opposite from you taking off his shirt before laying in bed facing away from you. Softly you tap his shoulder and he turns his body to face you “yeah?” “Are you mad at me?” You felt like a little kid, “no? Baby im not mad why?” “Well youve been really quite, you made me feel really shitty tonight” you didnt sound mad and you werent you were just sad, his face dropped and he looked so upset with him self . Instantly he pulled you into a tight hug “chris?” You ask in worry, he just starts kissing your cheek “im sorry honey” you giggled alittle at his kisses starting to tickle “i had a really shit day at work i didnt mean to take it out on you” “you wanna know why im dressed up?” “Why?” He says, still holding you into his chest “i was going to try seduce you” you both started giggling, it was a ongoing joke between you two bc you couldnt flirt or seduce or anything because you were too akward, that was his job. “Well if you get a good nights rest i have the day off tommorow, maybe you could try some of that seducing in the morning?” He let out a devious giggle making you laugh along “sure thing solider” he turned you round so he was spooning you “now get to bed honey” he demanded “yes monkey”…

[lost-soul-in-time-archives]

𝚃𝚆𝙾 𝙳𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙿𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚁.

“Why would he be doing this now, of all times? Mark hasn’t been in contact with any of us since—”

“Since the incident, I’m aware. I have my own questions as well.”

Oliver leans back in the seat, rubbing his temple to relieve the throbbing reaching his forehead down to his neck. “I don’t know what to make of this. Doesn’t it feel.. sudden?”

Damien sighs, arms rested on his immaculately organized desk as he thinks. This is one of the only times he’s seen it this tidy that not even his cup of coffee is positioned wrongly. “He wouldn’t ignore us forever; far too much time has been squandered holding onto grudges of the past. I’m just glad he’s willing to cooperate and work things out, better late than never.”

“Who else has been invited?”

“Aside from ourselves, William and my District Attorney have been added to the guest list. Abe has yet to write back to me and let me know if he’ll be attending as well.”

The Colonel’s name is one he hadn’t been expecting. Oliver can remember when he had come to him, fuming as he yelled and ranted about Mark’s incessant, rude remarks.

“He swore an oath of silence to never speak to me again.” William finished, stoic and prideful as always.

As much as he had hated it, his contact with William had drifted from letters and meetings at least once a week to the occasional update about their lives once a month or later after that. William would always be a dear friend, someone he cherished like the brother he never had. And while Mark may have taken a few things too far, he can understand what heartbreak feels like. He knew that Celine and Mark were more of a short fling than a love made for marriage. Perhaps Celine fell out of love, and Mark refused to see it. It pained him to be the only one who did see.

“Will you be going?”

Damien’s question alerts him that he’s drifting off into his mind too soon. He’ll have time to ponder over the past. “I cannot, unfortunately. I’m going to be leaving to have another kind of reunion that same day. I wouldn’t want to disappoint my mother.”

“And your father?”

“Who the hell cares what he thinks.”

Damien shifts his attention up at him, and Oliver knows that look. He’s received the same look of pity or sympathy his whole life, but Damien isn’t some rich, pompous, self-centered man wanting to be a part of his family’s fortune or steal it completely. He knows he wants to ask further about his trip, maybe offer his help if it’s needed at some point in the future. Fact is, he already knows he’d received his help if he asked for it, and he knows what these trips mean. Another argument, another picture-perfect scenery, and chaos behind closed doors. What else is there to say?”

“When will you be back?”

“April 24th. I’m giving you time to choose your gift for me wisely.” As much as he hated celebrating his birthday, since they always seemed to result in grand gestures, Damien was always kind enough to respect his wishes. Nothing too big or expensive was given to him, and he was grateful for that. He grins as Damien clicks his tongue in half-hearted annoyance.

“I might just have my DA make sure you receive nothing from me.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. How are they, now that you mention them?”

“They’re alright, just a bit on edge as of late. They keep telling me of these horrible dreams they’ve been having.”

Dreams.

Is it coincidence that he’s been having the same issue? Flashes of blood, pale bodies, a cold prison. It’s always the same. He wakes up trembling, sometimes falling out of bed in a frenzy at the feeling of rapid breaths against his skin and words that he can almost make out. They always sound menacing, with ill intent. When he closes his eyes, he sees the figures flying at him too quickly to be normal, latching onto him and trying to drag him towards a sea of lost souls.

His mother did always say he had a wide imagination. But they’re just his mind playing tricks on him.

What could go wrong?

[livingroombeat]

Living room beat progress update 12\16\23

Hi gang, are you ready for your scheduled progress update? I sure am the worlds most consistent writer. well anyway ive been doing some planning for a4 and im gonna kinda explain my current roadmap here.

-do end of a3 animation

Yeah i havent done it yet, ive just been procrastinating. Anyway though its gonna be a short one and it wont take long so this isnt like a major deal or anything.

-do a4

I have the events of a4 planned in detail already in a text file so all i have to do is write the dialogue and turn it into comics. Ive said it before and ill say it again: a3 was WAY too many comics. There were so many comics that were just a couple of words and thats just completely stupid. A3 couldve been like 100 comics but instead ended up at 300+ because i did it like an idiot. But im not gonna do that with a4, it will be pretty short in comic number but each one will have loads of dialogue. It will be super efficient.

-post

I might actually post a3 before finishing a4, but again a4 is going to be super short in page count so it probably wont take TOO long to actually make, so waiting til after its done isnt completely unreasonable.

-do new website

Blogger sucks, its a terrible platform, so im gonna make a new website and host it on github pages. It will be made so that it is super easy for me to bulk upload LOADS of new pages at once so that i wont keep putting it off like ive been doing with the rest of a3. It will be all automatic and everything so i dont have to spend multiple hours on it lol. I will also be able to do bulk changes to the page format so i dont have to go individually through each post and change it. Maybe even a back button????

-do a lot of the story

This is a super vague bullet point but i just kinda want to make my way a fair chunk through the story before doing the next point because it would be kinda annoying to just be halted after a4 for ages.

-go back and redo a0 through a3 (and maybe a4, well see how that turns out)

Ive already said it in this post but a0 through a3 kinda just suck, theres loads of changes i would make now if i made them, so i plan to go back and change them. This would also make lrb more accessible for new readers because they dont have through over 100 pages for it to get 'ok'. I also plan to have a summary page to catch people up on the story of a0 through a4 quickly so that they can get into a5 and beyond. I will probably only keep that summary page until ive finished remaking a0 through a3, but i will post it after a4 as a4 is a good break off point in the story (youll see).

-do rest of the story

This is pretty self explanatory. Theres loads of story to go.

Among all of these points is also planning a5 and beyond as what i said before isnt true. I originally wasnt going to change the actual story i had planned but i changed my mind on that, the main story is being changed quite a bit.

The thing is i noticed the problems with the structure but didnt notice the ROOT cause of those problems, the fact that the characters act as too much of a conglomerate and have literally 0 independence.

Ok what do i mean by that. Well basically all of the alternate reality versions of streve and brian, and even streve and brian themselves, could be compressed into 1 character reasoning their decisions out with themself. They have 'disagreements' but they dont have any REAL disagreements, they always come around and end up acting as a group in the end.

Now is this because im a bad writer? Probably but i can (try to) fix it in future parts of the story. So im gonna do that.

I also plan to make more social media for the comic rather than just tumblr and reddit. Like a twitter even though that site is dying.

I also also need to come up with a name to sign these posts with. All webcomic authors have some name they go by, i dont. So ill come up with one. Anyway thats all i have to say for this progress update. This one ended up being super long so hopefully that makes up for me missing so many. See you next saturday.

[thinkpink212]

I live away from family too! Gosh, its been so hard, and with little to no friends I feel like I am loosing it! Any advice on how to deal and stuff? <3

Aww boo I hear you!

Keep in touch, but not too much Knowing how your loved ones are and communicating how you are, seem to always help me a great deal. But remember that a little distance is good when its healthy distance. What I mean is, make sure you are still doing your thing; working, cultivating your hobbies, staying on top of chores etc. Keep in touch with your family and friends, but also keep busy so that your mind doesn't constantly fixate on their absence. What ill do... ♡ Facetime my fav cousin from time to time. ♡ Call (or voice message) with my mom whenever were free ♡ Evening and morning texts with my closest friend (and try not to reply in the middle of the day unless it is urgent or I truly have time) ♡ Schedule meetups/trips in advance, especially with friends! Now a month like May is a little more special because you get to see your people for a few days! ♡ Randomly messaging "Hi, how are you" to my younger cousins who I don't think know how to really talk to me fully but have expressed their wish for more communication. Even if it is short interactions', I always ask for cool pictures from their week, updates etc.

Remind yourself why you aren't there but here It is important to always remember where you came from, why you are here and why you must stay! Sure, sometimes the justifications don't seem worth the loneliness, but trust me, at the end you will see how much you've achieved! Find people where you are, a temporary (with potential of permanence) family This could be via groups on facebook, sports classes, church, cool events happening around town. Get out there and meet people. But also remind yourself that being in a cowed or even a small gather, cannot fix the loneliness - but at least you could be distracted and having fun for a few hours! You are not alone!

Be prepared to ask for help, accept help but also the opposite Being alone means no one to lean on how you may have been able to before. Hard decisions, adulting and all of that is in your hands. You have to make the calls, schedule the appointments, make sure you're fed, clothed and good! But also, when it gets hard, ask for help; Need advice for your studies? ask your Guidance councilor(s), fellow students, professors etc. Confused about insurance? Call and ask all your 'stupid questions' (which, there is no such thing as a stupid question) Don't run from things and people trying to help. Of course have discernment, know when to say No Thank you, Ive Got it vs Thank you, Yes please. But (as said, the opposite can/will happen) Also know that you will ask for help, guidance, support and so on, and you will be given a No, here there and everywhere. Take those No's and place them next to the others and go on till you figure it out. You have to keep going!

Have savings This is always good to have, but having no family or people to truly rely on like that, its good to have a few $ in case something happens and you need to fly out, fly someone over or just cannot work (and there's no one to financially directly support you).

Have a Will This is a bit morbid, but in case anything happens to you, having a drawn up paper (can be made alongside a lawyer or just you writing it on paper, and signing) where you declare what you want done in case of your death, debilitation, accidents etc. You can also delegate your things! It lowkey helps me sleep a bit better knowing all of that is sorted. I have mine send to my email and as a file on my computer - but some people keep it with their passport etc.

Lastly, take care of yourself. Don't let nostalgia trick you into remembering times as being better due to loneliness (this is how you end up with toxic people from your past and attracting them to your presence). Your time is valuable, treat is like so! xo

[rinskirt]

does ami still know how to use tumblr?

i figured i could start journaling again. tbh i always liked long-form journaling a lot more than short-form blurbs and updates. twitter is more for memers, or people who like to make big, bold statements. i like to flesh things out, or think in pointless circles, which usually means 10-tweet threads no one asked for cluttering up their timelines. my posts aren't funny, or entertaining. i feel like i come off as really annoying on twitter. which for a long time has sucked and made me use of the site unpleasant. especially since it seemed like the last one left. but with twitter falling, where else is there to go?

i wish we could just bring back livejournal. i feel like the way hey separated things into communities--so you weren't forced to get annoyed over memes that aren't even for you in the first place, or diatribes about ships that are only logical and enjoyable to the people who ship them--was sincerely superior. i miss it. sadly, i don't know if it will ever come back since social media prioritizing engagement means the more people who see something, the better--even more so if it starts a fight because that will mean even MORE engagement, and even MORE clicks, and the cycle just keeps going.

tbh, for a couple years now i've been thinking it would, mentally, be so much better for me if i just quit social media. then i wouldn't have to see my friends' super exciting lives while i'm sitting home alone for the nth weekend in a row. it would mean less comparing myself to other people. more time to spend on doing things that would actually better my life. but it's a scary thought. because i'm so used to social media, so used to relying on the constant presence of others, would i still reach out to people? do i even know how to reach out to people anymore, without just screaming into the void that is twitter and hoping someone hears? will everyone forget i ever existed if they no longer see my tweets? or, worse, will they actually be glad i'm not on their feed anymore? would leaving social media just mean i'm alone from here on out?

idk. this is the dumb shit that haunts me. i grew up on the internet and on social media--was a part of the first generation to do so--so it's hard to envision my life without it. (really, social media is probably why my ability to reach out to others is so stunted...) plus, as an otaku, you kind of need social media to connect to others who share your interest. at least, you do if you're not an intensely outgoing extrovert. which i am most definitely not.

going to the genshin concert made me long so much for at least one actual flesh-and-blood friend who would want to go with me to stuff like that. i had so many feelings and thoughts that i just stewed over the entire walk back to the station, and then the hour and a half train ride home. all around me were people discussing it excitedly during every intermission, but i just kinda sat there and stared into space, listening to everyone around me talk, taking in all their thoughts and feelings and not being able to share any of my own.

i'm not someone who minds doing things alone. i think because of who i am, and the life i live, and the illness i've been dealt, i couldn't survive if i wasn't willing to do things alone. i feel like maybe that's a very lonely thing to say, and a very lonely way to think, but it's just my reality. i decided to abandon my entire life in the states where i already didn't have a ton of friends, and i came to a place where most of the people are just as shy and unwilling to reach out to strangers as i am. plus i continue in this limbo of moderately-okay-but-not-great japanese, at the level where you plateau if you don't speak much. and i don't speak much. i have a lot of trauma around speaking. it takes a very safe atmosphere to coax it out of me.

i was considering starting a journaling style that i saw recommended, where rather than writing, you record yourself speaking your thoughts and feelings. and while i know that would probably be very therapeutic and helpful for me in the long run, i haven't been able to bring myself to do it. in a book i've been reading lately, "the body keeps the score" by bessel van der kolk, he discusses how trauma freezes the part of the brain that processes language, and makes it hard to actually discuss what you're feeling. that's always been a problem for me. i don't want to talk about things. i don't want to put certain feelings and thoughts into the world. i don't even know how. not even to my phone in the privacy of my home.

but i do want to try it, if i can get myself to that point. i really do want to get better. i want so badly to stop being afraid of everyone in my life, of being abandoned by them, or being hated by them if i open up and show them the worst of me. if i admit how lost and sad and trapped i feel a lot of the time. i feel like i look like such a negative person, such a bitchy and whiny sadsack of a human, but it's because i'm afraid of everything. i'm like that annoying small dog that's so afraid you're going to kick it and so it makes itself as unpleasant to be around as possible so you just leave it be. if no one likes me, if everyone just leaves me alone, i'm safe. i can't be hurt anymore.

for how sad this journal entry comes off, though, i feel like i've been in an okay place mentally lately. the fact that i've been going out and doing stuff again is a sign of that. for a long while i remembered the first year i was in japan, how excited i was to go out and just do things, even if i had no one to do them with. but sometime around covid, that started slipping away--i stopped leaving my apartment until i was invited out, and stopped going to restaurants and shops and events unless someone would hold my hand. but i'm finally in a place where i feel like i've started to rebuild a bit.

i've been thinking a lot lately about what my priorities are, and what i can do to achieve those things, so i can have some semblance of peace and stability in my life. and right now, i feel like i want to just prioritize the idea of feeling good about myself and good about my life. i worked so hard to get to where i am now, and it feels like such a waste to be living it miserably. and while part of me can't help but feel like being miserable is just the hand i was dealt with my anxious, weird brain, i want to try to do something about it. i don't want to just continue to be sad about things and let those things fester even if they're things that can be changed.

so for now, i'll change the things that are in my power to change--my diet, my sleeping habits, getting enough exercise, doing more of the things i enjoy, cutting out more of the things that make me miserable (no matter how fun and addictive they seem in the moment...), and just being kinder to myself if i fail in any of those at any given moment. i want to feel like i am some power over my life again, however little.

anyway. now that i've made myself cry writing this, i need to run to the store. but it truly is therapeutic to actually type all this out. i enjoyed it. i missed journaling. i'll have to do this more often.

[moonlitmeeks]

the same lad i see 👁👁👁👁 no but seriously thats so wonderful! dates are always so fun, especially if u really like the person, like in this case wink wink ;) id love to hear about them !

and id be terrifically happy to tell you about this crush, because boy is he sweet. i have so many things to say, but ill keep it short and share one anecdote.

so like, we were on a call and playing valorant, and he warned me that his friends were over and i hear one of them shout in the background, “HI (CRUSH)’S GIRLFRIEND!” and it was hilarious i cant stop thinking about it AGAGSGA

oh and i had a question if u dont mind me asking ! where are u from? originally i was thinking the states but the use of lad is giving me brit vibes ⁉️

if uve already mentioned that then please pardon my ignorance 🙏

oh my god where would i even start? he’s just. wow. he’s in a band for starters!! plus we have the same taste in music/films/books which. made me fall so hard. plus he’s so funny n nice?? and. fit. so. thats a bonus DJSKKS

but i would love to hear all about him omgosh!!!! on a call together??!? and u got called his girlfriend?!?! he so likes you omgosh… i need updates if you dont mind

and i am british! northern to be precise,, heheh>:) i realise im unsure where you’re from,, if you dont mind my asking!

all the love<333

[suratan-zir]

personal life update, because I know some of you guys have been worrying due to me not posting anything in a while (this is not sims content again, I'm sorry)

in short: I'm fine, I'm alive, just depressed

very long pathetic rant about rats. Seriously, it's about rats and pretty much nothing else.

So…a month ago, my boy Kamysh died unexpectedly. This is the last video of him.

When I say unexpectedly - I really mean it. He was 2 years old, which is the average life expectancy for a fancy rat, but he was very active, energetic and happy little guy, stealing my food and trashing my clothes until his last day. I had some suspicions of a brain tumor, because his vision has deteriorated significantly, but I wanted to believe it was only due to him getting older. Other than that, he showed no signs of illness. Besides, he was neutered, which reduces the risk of pituitary tumor that older rats are prone to. Then one morning I saw him "sleeping" in a hammock, I didn't disturb him for a while, but he slept for a suspiciously long time, so I touched him and he was cold. He probably passed away in his sleep without waking up. His little hands weren't clenched into fists, he was in a typical sleeping position. So at least he wasn't in pain when it happened.

But this is the third rat death since February. Since the invasion started. Moreover, Kamysh was the last rat I was really attached to. The last thing I had left from my Bambook (my heart rat, it's a term rat keepers have for the one rat from the group that you have the closest connection with), because I got Kamysh specifically to be Bambook's companion (it's a really long story that nobody's got time for). Of course, I love my two remaining boys, Izyum and Bergamot. Just as I would love any other rat. But we don't have a very strong bond with them, they have always been more reserved and independent, they don't actively seek out my company and I respect their space.

After this third death, I finally snapped. In a way, I was left alone and empty, without that one thing that keeps me going and cheers me up even in these difficult war times. I know it sounds pathetic, many people have lost their homes or entire families. I know that objectively I'm fine. I'm the lucky one. But alas, my depression doesn't care, it doesn't listen to the voice of reason.

I swore to myself for the thousandth time to never get another rat again. Losing them doesn't get easier, in fact, it feels harder every time. After loosing Bambook this spring, I tried to get more into my hobbies. I started crocheting again. I learned to ride a bike and got a few new scars on my knees. I tried playing new games, which I honestly never do. But it all results the same, with me laying in bed facing the wall for hours on end. My husband was also against new rats because he can't see me grieving again and again. But then, after seeing me in a broken state for several weeks, suddenly he changed his mind and began to beg me to take new rats, the more the better. I resisted this temptation, I tried to be reasonable. And guess what? This evening, we are getting 5 new rat boys. We bought a nice huge cage, which I have long wanted, I really hope that Bergamot won't be too big of an asshole to the little ones (as he tends to be...), and they will get along. I'm very nervous and excited. I guess you can't expect any new sims content from me for a while.

About the war: it's been quiet for the last few weeks, at least where I live. Very few air raids until yesterday (now it's worse). A few downed missiles here and there. But in the Donbas, in Kharkiv and Mykolaiv, it's hell every day. I don't post about it not because I have nothing to say, quite the opposite. There are so many things I want to say that it's better not to start or I won't be able to stop. Nothing matters anyway.

Thank you for listening. Hope you are all well and safe 💛

[kellyvela]

THE WINDS OF WINTER UPDATE

A Winter Garden

JULY 8, 2022

I have done a lot of interviews over the years, more than even I can possibly keep track of.   Inevitably, a lot of them touch on the same subjects.   One of the things I have been asked about most is my writing process.   If you have seen any of those interviews, you have probably heard me talking about the two types of writers, the architects and the gardeners.   I have given that same spiel numerous times.  Here’s one of the most thorough explanations.

Another question that I get a lot, especially since the end of GAME OF THRONES on HBO, is whether A SONG OF ICE & FIRE, will end the same way.  An architect would be able to give a short, concise, simple answer to that, but I am much more of a gardener.   My stories grow and evolve and change as I write them.  I generally know where I am going, sure… the final destinations, the big set pieces, they have been my head for years… for decades, in the case of A SONG OF ICE & FIRE.   There are lots of devils in the details, though, and sometimes the ground changes under my feet as the words pour forth.

(Another question fans and interviewers alike ask a lot if “Where do you get your ideas?”   Honestly, I wish I knew.   When confronted with the same question, Harlan Ellison used to say, “Schenectady.”   The ancient Greeks spoke of the muses.   Freud talked of the conscious and subconscious minds, the id, the ego, the superego.  More recently, we hear about the right brain and the left brain, one analytic and rational, the other imaginative and creative.   I am pretty sure the answer is not Schenectady, but aside from that… hell, I don’t know.   Yes, there are some instances where I know the seed from which something in my garden sprang.  The Wall sprang from my visit to Hadrian’s Wall in 1981.   The Wars of the Roses inspired much of GAME OF THRONES.   The Red Wedding was a mash up of the Glencoe Massacre and the Black Dinner from Scottish history, turned up way past eleven.   But for every instance like that, there are a hundred for which I have to say, “I don’t know.   One day the thought just came to me.   It wasn’t there, and then it was.”   If that was the work of a muse, may she keep on musing).

Which brings me to THE WINDS OF WINTER.

Most of you know by now that I do not like to give detailed updates on WINDS.   I am working on it, I have been working on it, I will continue to work on it.   (Yes, I work on other things as well).   I love nothing more than to surprise my readers with twists and turns they did not see coming, and I risk losing those moments if I go into too much detail.   Spoilers, you know.   Even saying that I am working on a Tyrion chapter, as I did last week, gives away the fact that Tyrion is not dead.   Reading sample chapters at cons, or posting them on line, which I did for years, gives away even more.   I actually quite enjoyed doing that, until the day came that I realized I had read and/or posted the first couple of hundred pages of WINDS, or thereabouts.  If I had kept on with the readings, half the book might be out by now.

So I am not going to give you all any kind of detailed report on the book, but…

I will say this.

I have been at work in my winter garden.   Things are growing… and changing, as does happen with us gardeners.   Things twist, things change, new ideas come to me (thank you, muse), old ideas prove unworkable, I write, I rewrite, I restructure, I rip everything apart and rewrite again, I go through doors that lead nowhere, and doors that open on marvels.

Sounds mad, I know.   But it’s how I write.   Always has been.   Always will be.   For good or ill.

What I have noticed more and more of late, however, is my gardening is taking me further and further away from the television series.   Yes, some of the things you saw on HBO in GAME OF THRONES you will also see in THE WINDS OF WINTER (though maybe not in quite the same ways)… but much of the rest will be quite different.

And really, when you think about it, this was inevitable.   The novels are much bigger and much much more complex than the series.   Certain things that happened on HBO will not happen in the books.   And vice versa.   I have viewpoint characters in the books never seen on the show: Victarion Greyjoy, Arianne Martell, Areo Hotah, Jon Connington, Aeron Damphair   They will all have chapters, and the things they do and say will impact the story and the major characters who were on the show.   I have legions of secondary characters, not POVs but nonetheless important to the plot, who also figure in the story: Lady Stoneheart, Young Griff,  the Tattered Prince, Penny, Brown Ben Plumm, the Shavepate, Marwyn the Mage, Darkstar, Jeyne Westerling.  Some characters you saw in the show are quite different than the versions in the novels.   Yarra Greyjoy is not Asha Greyjoy, and HBO’s Euron Greyjoy is way, way, way, way different from mine.   Quaithe still has a part to play.  So does Rickon Stark.   And poor Jeyne Poole.   And… well, the list is long.    (And all this is part of why WINDS is taking so long.   This is hard, guys).

Oh, and there will be new characters as well.   No new viewpoints, I promise you that, but with all these journeys and battles and scheming to come, inevitably our major players will be encountering new people in lands far and near.

One thing I can say,  in general enough terms that I will not be spoiling anything:  not all of the characters who survived until the end of GAME OF THRONES will survive until the end of A SONG OF ICE & FIRE, and not all of the characters who died on GAME OF THRONES will die in A SONG OF ICE & FIRE.   (Some will, sure.  Of course.   Maybe most.   But definitely not all)   ((Of course, I could change my mind again next week, with the next chapter I write.   That’s gardening)).

And the ending?   You will need to wait until I get there.   Some things will be the same.   A lot will not.

No doubt, once I am done, there will be huge debate about which version of the story is better.   Some people will like my book, others will prefer the television show.   And that’s fine, you pays your money and your make your choice.   (I do fear that a certain proportion of fans are so angry about how long WINDS has taken me that they are prepared to hate the book, unread.   That saddens me, but there nothing I can do about it, but write the best book that I can, and hope that when it comes out most fans will read it with clean hands and an open mind).

That’s all I can tell you right now.  I need to get back to the garden.   Tyrion is waiting for me.

[vvienne]

RANWAN FIC RECS

Absolute Zero by jitterati

Pathologically solitary academic Chu Wanning left behind a life of research to enlist with the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps Jaeger team when giant monsters began to emerge from the Pacific ocean, eager to leave his personal entanglements behind him and join humanity's collective battle against the threat of extinction.

His goal is to build an artificial intelligence that will allow a pilot to operate a Jaeger mech solo - eliminating the need for pilot compatibility and the mortifying ordeal of being totally known by another person, a "neurological handshake" known colloquially as the drift.

He didn't expect his former students to follow him all the way to front line of the war against the kaiju.

Featuring lots of side character interaction, pining, yearning, questions on the nature of personhood, friendship between jerks, people coping badly with loss, snarky AI, and giant robots. Illustrations by Saika & Daru

Husky and his White Kitten Disciple by JustAMoon123

Within a lonely heart, the seeds of hatred start to grow.

-A 2ha Age and Role-Reversal AU.-

NOTE: This Story is Now E Rated!

[Before meeting Chu Wanning, Mo Ran had drawn his power exclusively from the Wood side of his dual Spiritual Root, and his Qi had always glowed green.

Now, only when in battle did it do so, with Bugui’s blade encased in a tyrannical green light.

Outside of battle, like when he set barriers of warmth; or made Crystal Butterflies to tease golden flowers; or cast a small array to keep a box of food warm, his Qi manifested with a gentle red glow.

Mo Ran’s Wood was destructive, while his Fire was protective.

Ah, Mo Weiyu, Mo Weiyu. Even your power betrays you.]

Burn, Pine, and Perish by moonqueenmaia

It’s been two days since Taxian-Jun’s last visit, and Mo Ran hasn’t touched Chu Wanning at all, beyond gentle and fleeting caresses. Chu Wanning decides to take matters into his own hands by surprising Mo Ran when he comes back to their home after a trip down the mountain.

it's no coincidence (it's a kitty-incidence) by lanzhan (gothguk)

There’s a white cat lounging in the middle of Mo Ran's bed.

to touch you with bare hands (even if it burns) by moonqueenmaia

Chu Wanning is a renowned professor of mechanical engineering at Sisheng Peak University. Beautiful, lonely, and talented beyond belief, he has spent his 32 years mostly by himself, silently and secretly yearning for affection and companionship. Yet Chu Wanning has resolved to himself that he will spend the rest of his life alone, no matter his hidden fantasies.

Enter Taxian-jun, an unruly, arrogant, and struggling student, fiery and domineering, who comes in and shatters the calm of Chu Wanning's life. They enter into an agreement, both burying their feelings underneath a storm of lust and lies. Yet amidst it all, something deeper may be helplessly and slowly blooming.

It is up to them to cultivate it, or destroy it for good.

cursed by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning and his disciples are sent to investigate an abandoned village, and Chu Wanning is hit with a curse.

Mo Ran was determined to treat his shizun respectfully in this life, but what choice does he have?

liar liar cock on fire by lofikv

I (32M) walked in on my roommate (23M) masturbating in our living room. Ever since then I couldn't erase the image of his penis in my mind but I found a sex toy online that is almost as big as him, so I bought it and tried it on myself so that I can imagine how he would feel inside me. I have also been romantically attracted to him ever since we started living together. How can I cope with this?

UPDATE: He caught me in the middle of an emergency.

(Absolute) Unit 311 by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning doesn't have a soulmark.

Neither does Mo Ran.

ducks entering highway by Sectionladvivi

Mo Ran finds out his well-respected, MILF-coded, tears-of-angels-tight-ass robotics professor moonlights as an erotic novelist. He immediately leverages this knowledge for an opportunity to play tonsil hockey.

to yearn by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning starts to cough up flowers. Taxian-Jun is angry. Chu Wanning is not allowed to die pining for someone else.

When it starts happening again in his second life, Mo Ran knows enough to worry.

from blossom to blossom to impossible blossom by Wildehack (tyleet)

Taxian Jun is the victim of a flower curse.

sticky fingers by fakeplasticlily

The man tosses the towel unceremoniously back at Mo Ran’s chest, like he’s personally offended by it. And the fact that his hands had just been all over said chest barely minutes earlier, maybe. “Please pack a box of egg tarts with extra custard filling, a box of red bean paste buns with extra syrup, a rice pudding with extra candied fruit garnish, and a box of osmanthus cakes with extra sweet pear jam.” Mo Ran’s eyes grow progressively wider as he lists the items. It’s him. Not the suburban mother of four, not the elderly guy dealing with a midlife crisis, but quite possibly the hottest guy he’s ever seen. Who also happens to have the highest sugar tolerance Mo Ran has seen in a human being in his two years of running this bakery. 

Hard to Love The Lonely Night by bloodsongs

Chu Wanning glares up at him, adjusting his women’s robes. “Still, why couldn’t you have been the wife instead?”

Coughing politely, Mo Ran looks to the side, avoiding his gaze. “Shizun’s skills with the illusion barrier far surpass this humble disciple’s, and, well…”

He doesn’t need to complete his sentence—it’s infuriating, but Mo Ran is now taller than him, broader than him, larger than him. Very much so. The young sapling he raised in Sisheng Peak is now a full-fledged tree, a man built like the mountains Chu Wanning has seen in his travels.

Chu Wanning and Mo Ran pretend to be a married couple visiting a small mountain town to investigate some suspicious disappearances. Mini Canon AU casefic. Contains spoilers up to Chapter 130 or so of the novel.

Purple Ink by jeejaschocolate

Chu Wanning is a robotics engineer who lives a life of isolation and loneliness, only partially due to his chronic illness. Eventually he gets so sick that he requires the help of a full-time medical assistant.

Of course, these days, all those jobs are given to CyberLife androids.

Chu Wanning resents the android they give him. From his fiery eyes to his long black hair, to his incomparable tenderness and consideration for Wanning’s feelings.

He resents him. All the way until he falls in love with him.

Fallen Flowers in Swallows' Nests by bloodsongs

You deserve better—I refuse to disrespect you ever again. I want to be better. I must be better.

But I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know where Taxian-Jun ends and Mo-Zongshi begins.

I only know now that I cannot lie to myself: I want you so fiercely that I burn with it, I am consumed with the desire to make you mine and mine alone. To become one with you, feeling your fire twine with mine.

Or, Chu Wanning finds letters from Mo-Zongshi that were never shared with him.

These hitherto undiscovered letters cover a range of emotions that weren't present in the book he gifted his Shizun: contrition, yearning, and desire.

Counterpoint by senchafloat

Five years ago, Mo Ran was just a boy who loved playing piano—there were many things he didn't know. He didn't know how capricious and unforgiving the world of classical music could be. He didn't know just how lucky he was to have Chu Wanning as his teacher.

Five years later, Chu Wanning is now a renowned concert pianist, and Mo Ran is an upstart conducting student. When Chu Wanning shows up unannounced at his alma mater, Mo Ran has plenty of questions, along with a desire to prove his worth to his old teacher. But as it turns out, Chu Wanning isn't as invincible as he once seemed. As old secrets come up to the surface, the two of them are forced to reinvent the ways they'll make music together.

impatient to adore you by riverdanceeee

At some heartbreaking point in his life, Mo Ran accepted that Chu Wanning would never reciprocate his feelings, so he dealt with it as any other person would. He'd rid himself of his affection, respect their friendship, and learn to move on. But Mo Ran's affection runs too deep, and when any opportunity to spend time with Chu Wanning knocks on his door, he goes running to answer and accept. Even if it means he has to break up a potentially dangerous dog fighting ring.

To Bow Before A Willow Vine by bloodsongs

“I…” Mo Ran hadn’t thought that far. He shakes his head, lowering his head in deference, resting his forehead against Chu Wanning’s knuckles. "I'll do anything you want of me."

The silence stretches on for a beat too long.

"Anything?" Chu Wanning says eventually, tilting his head.

Written for 2Ha Week, Day 4: Reverse AU for the 0.5 timeline. When Chu Wanning storms Sisheng Peak and crowns himself the cultivation world's new emperor, Mo Ran trades his life for Xue Meng's. Contains spoilers for up to the end of the novel.

Call me by my name by rinsled05

When the man called Taxian-Jun arrives, years later, it’s the coming of a storm.

He sweeps into a dinner appointment between Chu Wanning and a client, clad in black, a smirk tugging at his mouth. Over the spark of irritation, Chu Wanning can’t help but admire his lean frame, the way his hair, cut rebelliously short, falls over smoldering, dark eyes. The way he towers over him, even when Chu Wanning rises to full height.

Chu Wanning’s heart races as Taxian-Jun leans in close, ignoring the shouts and gasps around them.

“Sakaki of Ran,” he purrs in their native tongue. “You’re mine.”

Chu Wanning lifts his chin. “I don’t know you.”

“You will,” Taxian-Jun says, and leaves.

In which Chu Wanning is a courtesan serving Chinese merchants in Nagasaki, Japan, and Taxian-Jun decides to make him his.

荷官牌型 ♠️ The Croupier's Hand by bloodsongs

In deep financial straits after losing his job as a teacher, a desperate Chu Wanning becomes a croupier at Sisheng's new casino.

The once sleepy town of Sisheng Peak grows busier by the day as the casino draws more and more tourists to their mountains. Consumed by his lingering regrets over the worst mistake of his life that destroyed his teaching career, Chu Wanning is too distracted to worry about anything else but his next shift, his next paycheck.

Except that's when Mo Ran, the reason Chu Wanning lost everything, returns to Sisheng Peak.

As the heir to the casino.

White Rabbit Club by minkit

Desperate to rid himself of a few pesky things called virginity and desire, Chu Wanning waltzes into a world he knows little about and right into the embrace of a mysterious stranger who reminds him of the student he's been dreaming about all year. The lust fueled dreams his student stars in are the very reason Chu Wanning applied to the sex club in the first place, and now he's desperate to get rid of these filthy impulses once and for all.

Congratulations, Chu Wanning, on your acceptance into the White Rabbit Club. We hope you enjoy your stay.

Risk and Restraint by purloinedinpetrograd

There is nobody Mo Ran works with who does not love him. He’s worked hard to cultivate this image while he climbs the corporate ladder at Sisheng, and it’s paid off in dividends. He’s in every WeChat group. He can call in favors with any division of any department. He can make even the tightest of deadlines relax their stranglehold on his team.

That is, there is nobody except, of course, Chu Wanning.

A Lingering Sweetness by theherocomplex

Chu Wanning is now all too aware of what he looks like: a dry stick of a man, never handsome, angular and cold and pale. A drab, short-tempered creature, as appealing as a splinter in one's foot. But Mo Ran looks at him as if he will never get his fill, and part of Chu Wanning thinks, What if —?

At the end of the line by PearlAquaBlue 

“So … I reckon someone thought you needed to loosen up a little bit. Now that you’re here, want to try it?”

Chu Wanning hangs up. Throws her phone on her pillow with a disgusted glare after it. Stands up and paces to the kitchen in long, angry strides. Her cheeks are burning. With trembling fingers, she grabs a glass and pours herself some water, gulping it down in one go. It doesn’t help much. She grips the kitchen counter tightly, then marches back into the bedroom to glare at the phone again. Her fingertips itch, and it’s as if some kind of magnetic force draws her closer and closer to her bed until her fingertips are but an inch away from that tempting black mirror. Before she knows it, she’s unlocked it unsteadily and pressed “repeat” on the last call.

“Welcome to Sisheng Peak – ”

“And what would that entail?” she asks, a little too breathless.

Let's Fall in Love for the Night by purloinedinpetrograd

Chu Wanning could only stare in horror as a large cloud of sickeningly yellow pollen rose from the field, blanketing the place where Mo Ran stood in a heavy fog. “Um,” he said lamely.

“Fuck,” Mo Ran cursed, and Chu Wanning didn’t even have the heart to chastise him for his coarse language, because he was too preoccupied wrestling the surge of fear at seeing his disciple disappear behind the haze of that indeterminately threatening dust.

A million terrible possibilities raced through his mind, each one more dramatic and gruesome than the last. His heart hammered against his ribcage, threatening to crack the bones. “Mo Ran,” he said slowly, “I think you should tell me what that does, now.”

Xue Zhengyong sends Chu Wanning and Mo Ran on a mission to find a specific ingredient for some concoction of his wife’s. Chu Wanning is torn between rejoicing at the chance to spend time alone with Mo Ran... and grieving over the very same thing.

But, well, it’s just flowers. What could go wrong, right? (Spoiler alert: it’s sex pollen.)

the day dawns in your hues by localshabba

2ha Week 2020 Day 1 prompt - Haitang

---

Schoolteacher Mo Ran is having an ordinary day until he has an awkward encounter with the notoriously rigid school librarian, which leads to the start of something new.

Also features: flowers, dinosaurs and lots of tenderness and pining.

helping hands by verity

When Mo Ran was but a young, innocent, virtuous grad student—well, one of those things—she built that couch from a flatpack box with her own two hands. Over the years, the smell of polyester and cheap foam padding has given way to an equally aromatic blend of Chu Wanning's haitang blossom perfume, spilled coffee, and white lithium grease. Chu Wanning herself is always perfectly dressed without a stain in sight. Even right now, her head tucked onto one folded arm, the other loosely gripping her tablet, she looks so formal.

Mo Ran gently rests a hand on Chu Wanning's socked ankle where it peeks out of those tailored white trousers. She really should behave herself.

She really should... behave herself...

in plain sight by localshabba

Written for a prompt fill in the 2ha Kink Meme.

---

"I have a surprise," Mo Ran breathed, coming to stand so close behind him that his breath landed on Chu Wanning's nape. Not touching Chu Wanning any other way, because he likes to make Chu Wanning lean back just a little bit, to seek out that contact himself.

"I think Chu-laoshi will enjoy it."

Chu Wanning is sure he agreed to the whole idea; he's just unclear on when. Things got hazy around the point when Mo Ran turned him around by the shoulders, got down on his knees and...well. Apparently he'd skipped breakfast that morning.

When he returned to his senses, his clothes were all neatly tucked into place, not a stain on them, and a charmingly pink sexual aid was nestled comfortably up his--ahem, inside him.

---

Now available in Spanish!

casually acquainted by tagteamme

Chu Wanning knows what he is and what he isn’t. And where he lacks in pleasantries and outward appeal, he makes up for in untouchable grace and dignity.

It threatens to unravel once he meets a familiar face in an unfamiliar city.

“So quick to run away from me, Chu-laoshi,” Mo Ran says, voice gently teasing as Chu Wanning refuses to make eye contact with him. “After you came all the way from…”

He trails off, waiting for Chu Wanning to let him know, but he sees the map open on Chu Wanning’s phone and grins wider. “You want directions?”

Chu Wanning clears his throat, and shakes his head. He should say something— instead, he stays silent as he looks down at his phone and punches in the hotel name again.

Happily, his phone tells him to try again when he has signal.

The Right Hand of Light by gedsparrowhawk (FaceChanger)

Chu Wanning is asleep on the bed, clutching his hands tightly to his chest and curled in on himself. He’s still wearing the same robes he was in in the water prison. On the writing desk, a bowl of water and clean linen for bandages sit untouched, and a tub of bathwater has cooled without being used. Mo Ran sighs to himself. Wanning is truly hopeless.

He sits on the side of the bed and touches Chu Wanning’s shoulder. “Wanning,” he says. “Wanning, wake up.”

---

Rare 0.5 tenderness, after the water prison.

nothing can consume you by tagteamme

Mo Ran’s violent history has never had to catch up to him.

It’s already embedded itself into him as scars on his body, as a tattoo on his forearm, as the lingering taste of blood in his sleep and finally, as the searing brand pressed against his chest before he’s thrown into the sea as punishment. He knows that this is where all his chances come to an end.

But as the deep fathom of the water swallows him up, something else saves him and pulls him to a tiny cove tucked away off the coast of an overlooked port town. When he wakes up under the care of a mythical creature wearing a familiar face, an even older and more distant past finally finds him.

[shepherds-of-haven]

I hope you’re having a great day Lena! I was just wondering if we could have any fluff facts about the shepherds as a whole! Like fun tidbits of how they interact with each other, what some of them do if they have the same day off, does anyone host weekly game nights?? I hope that makes sense! Reading the recent short story on Patreon I love seeing how the characters interact with one another and now I need moreeeeeee🙏

Ooh, great question! I’m feeling curiously tapped dry at the moment, so I’ll probably have to reblog this as more ideas come to me; I’m so happy you’re enjoying the short story, btw!! 💖

Some group dynamic headcanons:

Many of them steal clothes from each other. Briony wears a cute sweater of Shery's (she asked), Ayla gets cold so she just takes one of Red's jackets from a chair (she didn't ask), Chase gives Tallys his scarf one day and Riel corders Trouble a pair of gloves from a fashion line he favors because his old ones are holey and they get into an argument about it... This leads to some recruits mistakenly thinking that the captains are all involved in some sort of mass relationship because they keep walking out of each other's rooms wearing each other's clothes. (The recruits believe a lot of really dumb stuff, if you couldn't tell. They LOVE gossip. It's like a competitive sport in the compound)

There is a weekly card game night, initiated and organized first by Chase, but it grows bigger over time, with snacks, cakes, drinks, and new games being procured! I'd actually say it's more like every ten-fourteen days or so than on any set weekday, and is typically proposed by anyone who senses that they or others need to blow off some steam. They all tend to meet in a private common room and either just chill and play some card games and casually drink and listen to music, or they get LOUD and raucous and play more risque non-card games (like Question or Command/Truth or Dare). The loud nights are more like once a month or bi-monthly, though! They take place in the captains' lounge so dumb recruits don't get to join! It's rare that they're in there all doing the same thing, though: maybe half will be at the table playing card games while others will be broken up into smaller groups, say arm-wrestling in the corner or playing chess at the smaller table or reading, but they're all there! Game nights are almost never held unless everyone is there, which is extraordinarily difficult to schedule, but they all make an effort to make it happen--even those who first had to be dragged into it, like Blade or Riel!

Speaking of chess games, Red and Riel have a standing game where they complete at least four more moves every night that they're around and able to meet up after dinner. Planning their next move helps them both break up the monotony of the day, and it's something they enjoy immensely. However, whenever he gets called away on a mission, Red gets sick with worry that Riel's been cooking up all sorts of schemes while he's been gone, so sometimes on the road he has, like, a schematic that he doodles on trying to anticipate Riel's next move, and it's very nerdy and ramps up in joking Anxiety. Riel, graciously, goes easier on him on nights after he comes back from long trips, though he denies it

Similarly, Blade and Trouble have a standing training session once a week where they just beat the crap out of each other. This is generally where they do the majority of their talking

Briony and Ayla first had an agreement that they would get the other one up if they overslept (Briony tends to be the one who oversleeps while Ayla is better about being up at dawn, but Ayla is really grouchy if she went to bed late and Briony is the only one who can handle her), which morphed into doing runs and sparring together at dawn and having breakfast frequently!

The girls have a standing spa night once a month where they all get together in a room (usually Shery’s) and basically do sleepover stuff and relax and chat and catch up for a few hours. This also sometimes involves showing each other new outfits that they bought that month! Sometimes there are even group baths in the big common bath, but these are rarer because Shery is shy and Tallys doesn’t like sitting in hot water getting pruny

Chase and Trouble drag Red and Halek to go drinking with them around once a month; sometimes Blade is persuaded to go if Trouble can get the drop on him and punch him hard enough to wind him. It’s complicated

Riel and Shery, of course, have tea together once a week! You’re not allowed if you can’t bring a chill vibe (Riel’s rules). Tallys, Lavinet, Halek, and Red are occasional visitors; Briony is allowed on a good day. Blade would be allowed but he has 0 interest

Similarly, Lavinet hosts a weekly brunch, either in a courtyard or at some restaurant in town! Typically it’s a girl thing and Ayla, Briony, and Shery are the most consistent attendees, but Chase has snuck his way in there often, and Riel, Halek, or Red pop up occasionally!

Tallys and Halek cook together! It’s not all that often and doesn’t seem to have any set way of materializing--it just happens somehow--but they both very much enjoy it! Sometimes they cook dinner for the whole group and have a little dinner party that they both secretly get excited for! Sometimes Shery bakes the dessert!

Riel noticed that Tallys has a little garden that she spends time weeding, so he sends gardening tools or special seeds when he thinks she needs them and she leaves baskets of vegetables or vases of flowers in his office. All of this is done without exchanging a word

Chase sporadically teaches Briony acrobatics and things like tightrope walking, just randomly whenever they’re both idle. She teaches him how to gut people with bare fists and also sometimes they paint! 

Caine caught Red grazing in the pantry late one night and now it’s like a Thing where they pass each other in the kitchen and Red sort of just looks the other way re: Caine’s bedtime and what on earth he’s doing up so late and Caine doesn’t tell anybody that Red is just absent-mindedly eating a loaf of bread at 2 AM because he was too busy working to remember to eat dinner. It’ll be like, “there’s some turkey leftover from dinner in the cold box” “oh hey, Caine. thanks. ...so, what’s the news from the midnight watch tonight?” “i’m going to go hunt ghosts on the seventh floor with my friends!” “...okay! have fun!”

Lavinet has a monthly shopping trip where she updates her wardrobe, and it is very common for others to accompany her around the city and just shop while they drop! Common partners are Shery, Briony, Riel, Chase, and once memorably Blade, who didn’t know what he was in for!

Trouble and Ayla are wildly competitive and keep arm-wrestling each other for money; this becomes a bi-weekly sporting event that is eagerly attended and bet upon by third parties

There was ONE group karaoke night. ONE. Most of them got so blackout drunk that they swore to never do it again. Even now, several of them go green whenever they hear a popular bar song (“Don’t Piss Where You Plant Your Flowers”) being sung, especially badly

The game of "telephone" gets really bad in their group. It's like, Shery will say to Briony that she's worried because she thought Riel looked a bit peaky and feverish. Briony will say in passing to Trouble that Riel is getting sick and Shery is worried. Trouble will say to Tallys that Shery is worried sick because Riel is bedridden. Tallys will be mixing herbs and Chase will ask what for and Tallys will reply that Riel is sick, but because she's mixing herbs, Chase will surmise that the sickness must be quite advanced, and will later say, "Damn, have you seen Riel? Seems like he's really sick." Red will interpret this as "I have seen Riel for myself and have determined that he's extremely ill." At least four people will bust into Riel's room, expecting him to be on the verge of death, despite the fact that they saw Riel that morning. Riel will be fine and very annoyed at the intrusion.

They rarely go out as a group to bars and establishments outside of the compound (too chaotic as well as risky, for one thing, and also, recruits don't need to see their superiors like hanging out of bushes and dancing on tabletops drunk out of their minds, and also, "Mages can't drink" (lol)), but when they do deem it a worthy occasion (Trouble's birthday, say), the girls are very punctual when getting ready, and the boys are almost always extremely late due to various shenanigans (Chase forgot that he put a booby trap on Red’s door, covering Red with flour, or a cat somehow slips into Trouble’s room and steals, like, a detonator or an important key, and they have to go chasing it across the city). This has led to the girls coming late on purpose in order to even out their arrival, but mysteriously, this has only led to even later start times, meaning they often don’t get started until like 10 or 11 PM when the most well-intentioned souls meant to be in bed by midnight... that never happens, either!

One such night once led to them ending up on a ridge in the Sun’s Embrace, like a mile outside of the city, in order to watch the sun rise together, because hiking in the dark while blasted out of their minds sounded like a really good idea. They all made it, and the dawn was spectacular, but the moment was ruined when Tallys said softly, “It’s the beginning of a beautiful new day--” punctuated by Trouble abruptly throwing up in a bush and Riel just flat-out passing out

[technowoah]

Taunt

It only takes one time to realize you fucked up.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- WILBUR X FEM! READER BLURB

PROMPTS!

50) "Fuck off... I mean it"

24) "Get in the car" "..." "please get in the car"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, based on the song Taunt by Lovejoy ❤🐈 its short btw yall

[Updated 3 hours after upload I messed up the prompts sorry yall now it fixed]

She was always asking if he was alright. He always lied to her just to get her off his back for the night, but it was his fault that he wanted her to move in. He has to deal with that all of the time, it was her fault anyways. She made him upset, she made him not alright. She didn't know that. She constantly complained about things that didn't even concern her, she dodged their relationship making it more about her than them.

It was tiring to him. Constantly providing, trying to tie a broken knot, but he didnt let that get in the way of his career, or his friends. There's another issue, he never talked to his friends about her. She accused him of not being proud of their relationship and that became a problem that never got resolved.

Did anyone ever say "no" to her? Well if no one did, he would be the first one to do so. Fuck that.

He listened, and listened, but nothing kept this relationship together.

Wilbur talked to the three people chatting on his discord through his headphones as a soft LED lights flowed through the room. These nights were simple because she didnt have to see him when he decides to stream, he basically has his time set out for himself without trouble. He wasn't ecstatic, he felt horrible, but the facadè was there.

Her on the other hand wasnt happy either. She never got attention from him, and of course she could get moody from time to time like every other human being, but she always took it out on him. Who else was gonna be there for her? He acted like her cared, she knew he was lying. His "caring" consisted of humming and him responding like a default character in a video game. He didn't care, he acted like he never did. She needed that attention and he knew damn well she did.

She wasnt asking for much, at least to her it did feel like it. She knew when she was wrong, but she didn't want to admit it when they were both in the wrong too. They dont get each other, she didnt know why he asked her to move in when he didn't want anything to do with her. Ever since he moved her in he kept her in check like a child, she hated and loved that at the same time. Its true that she wanted her own way, she did what she wanted and gave her attention to whoever she wanted her attention to be. She thought that was fine, but apparently she dosent give any effort to the relationship.

Rolling her eyes at the thought she decided to leave the dishes in the sink dirty. She thought about leaving and finding someone who will get her, yes Wilbur listened to her, but there was no effort. When he's drunk and tries to "figure out what makes her brain tick" ends up in more distaster.

Lying in the couch her mind began to wonder, he always said that she could get away with anything. She always took it as a taunt. Everytime it was brought up. He called it "pretty privilege" and he always taunts her saying she abuses that power.

Her jaw clenched as she recalled those memories. Summoning the courage she brought herself up onto her feet and rushed to their shared bedroom. Taking a deep breath she opened their closet and started pulling her things off of hangers, not caring if she made a mess. She tossed her clothes onto the messy bed that they didn't bother to make this morning.

Bringing a small backpack out from underneath the bed she tried shoving most of her clothes into a bag for a night. In total frustration she emptied the bag and only backed necessities that she would need for the night.

She was tired of him and he was tired of her so she was doing both of them a favor. She made her way out of the door grabbing a coat and sliding on some simple shoes. Shooting a quick text to a close friend letting them know she's coming over. Her friend wasn't that close, but she decided to walk. As she locked the door to their shared apartment she debated texting Wilbur. She didnt want to, but she didnt want him to freak the fuck out because she wasnt home.

( Wilbur )

Me: Ill be back for the rest of my stuff tmrw.

[Read]

She closed her phone and started on her night time journey down the street trying to let everything from the past few weeks go with the cool wind.

Him on the other hand stayed silent. He had just finished his stream and had gotten a text saying that she'll be back for the rest of her things. This was inevitable, one of them had to leave, but to him it didnt seem right. He didn't want her to leave. Something in his heart was making him chase her back, the same thing in his heart that moved her into his apartment in the first place. Maybe it was love, maybe he wanted to persevere and have someone in his life. Something in his mind was telling him that he let go of something special.

Wilbue thought about it as he shut everything off and went to go grab his belongings, before rushing out the door to try and find her. Sadly to his discovery, she turned off her location. He finally made it to his car and started driving towards his house to see if she was around there.

He couldn't call a friend because she never introduced her friends to him. She did that on purpose because of him not doing the same. As he drove down the not so busy streets of Brighton he thought if he could get to know her, pull emotions and feelings out of her and see the real her. And if he cant do that? Who knows what will happen.

He remembers this face she always pulled when he always said "Im alright." She scrunched up her nose in annoyance and he always took it as a taunt because he couldn't figure out the real meaning. They were both going at this the wrong way, he dosent know anything about her and maybe thats the problem, but she needs to calm down as well. She needs to start paying attention to both of them instead of herself.

He was seated at a stoplight until he saw a figure on the sidewalk walking past him. The person looked shocked then kept walking, but even faster this time. He rolled down the window to see it was Y/n walking. Wilbur ran the red light and found a place to turn the car around to follow her. He drove a couple of feet in front of her before putting his hazard lights on and stepping out of the car to confront her.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Wilbur said while getting our of his car.

"Im getting away from you. And what are you doing here?" She said.

"Well I could ask you the same thing. Its not safe out here alone." He calmed down a little. Wilbur's main goal was to get her back home so they can have a civilized talk. He didn't want to be out here.

"Oh? Ive been fine for the past fifteen minutes." She sasser back.

"That dosent mean its not safe!" He exclaimed.

She stayed quiet so that gave Wilbur an opportunity to speak.

"See, I want us to go home so we can have a civilized talk without feeling defensive. I want to get to know you, I know you're my girlfriend and yes, it was my mistake rushing things. Im not putting the blame all on myself either." He finished and she stayed quiet with her arms crossed infront of her chest.

"Are you cold-?"

"Fuck off...I mean it." She said while trying to pass hin on the street.

He stood in her way and he kept doing that every time she tried to get around him. Wilbur saw that she was getting annoyed at his actions. Wilbur held her by both of her biceps trying to hold her still so he could talk.

"You're being childish!"

"Fucking listen to me! You cant just keep walking away from us! From me! This is not healthy!" Wilbur yelled. He let go if her and surprisingly she stayed there.

"Get in the car." He ordered but she stayed silent. "Please get in the car."

She turns around gets in the passenger seat if Wilbur's car. He sighed a sigh if relief and followed her lead. They both got settled into the car and he didn't move. He wasn't going to drive unless she talked to him. After a minute if silence she spoke up.

"I know its- its both of our faults. And i have some things I need to work on. I cant just run away. Also your thoughts of me need to be rearranged, but I need to give you all of me. At leat 50 percent so we can start somewhere. But Im sorry." She said while she looked down at her lap maybe in embarrassment.

In the end they both wanted to fix themselves. In the end they wanted eachother. And they can both see that.

He leaned over the armrest and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She turned to him with a surprise look on her face, like this was the most affection he gave her, because it was true. She grabbed his hand that rested on the armrest too as he started to drive towards their home together.

As the nightly drive continues on and now shes drifting off in the passenger seat as In Love With An E-girl plays softly. She's left too tired to talk with Wilbur and be in touch with her emotions right now, but she'll do it for the both of them this time.

[ldss-interactive]

At Alter’s End: A CYOA Novel

Overview:

Trentworth, Maine. A town of ten thousand southeast of Ellsworth and North of Bayside. Its only bragging point since its conception in 1867 was being a shoreline city and cheaper than any of the other big tourist towns. Nothing ever happened here, besides the occasional drowning or fishing trip accident, until the killings started. They lasted five years in total and 48 people were lost to the killer’s sick desires. Robert Hall terrorized this small town, slipping under the radar by focusing on those considered “undesirable”; sex workers, orphans, drug addicts, and the like. Now ten years later, ten years after the killer has been put behind bars, murders have begun again. A copycat killer has come to Trentworth. And they seem to be targeting the ones left behind, still trying to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives…

You take the role of a highschool senior; your parents having died in a home fire shortly before the killer was put behind bars and now under the care of your workaholic aunt. Make allies of your classmates or attempt to go it alone, clear your parents’ name from their believed involvement with the killer or fight to put the past behind you, deal with the skeletons in your closet and mind or bury them deeper... Oh, and make sure your history project is turned in on time. With two young siblings depending on you and a whole host of problems a highschool student should never have to deal with, can you survive this nightmare made real?

Trigger Warnings: This game will go into very heavy topics including the following; murder, death, various mental health issues (such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety), abandonment, gambling, various types of drug addiction, self harm mentions (not happening to the MC or shown in graphic detail), suicide, sex work, child abuse (mental, emotional, and physical), and dangerous situations. This is a murder mystery/thriller, it is NOT intended for audiences below 18.

Hello! Thank you for showing interest in At Alter’s End. This is a Choose Your Own Adventure style novel in the Thriller and Murder Mystery genres. It would also fit nicely in the Drama genre as well, but Drama is not the focus. This will be a rather lengthy project, with fifteen chapters plus a prologue and epilogue planned.

You take on the role of a senior at Trentworth High. Join an after-school activity, take care of your younger siblings, prepare for finals, get a part time job, find a date to homecoming, and survive your worst nightmare come to life. The copycat killer is targeting the students of your school and no one is safe. With the police dragging their feet, no help coming any time soon from any higher up law enforcement, and the locals refusing to acknowledge the possibility of a copycat killer, it’s up to you and your classmates to find the person responsible...before it’s too late.

- You can play as female, male, nonbinary, or trans!

- You can be straight, gay, or bisexual!

- A highly customizable MC including hair color, eye color, skin color, hair length, height, and personality and interests!

- The ability to choose which mental illness the MC suffers from due to the trauma of their past from the following:

Anxiety, Depression, or PTSD.

- The MC is deaf in their right ear ear due to the way in which their parents died; this is not something that can be changed.

- Choose from 7 different official after-school activities! Trentworth Volunteers, Up and Coming Artists, National Debate Society, National Honors Society, Co-Ed Varsity Basketball, Creative Writing, and Trentworth Gardeners!

- Bond with your classmates, explore your town, and help raise your younger siblings!

- Rescue your parents’ bakery from corporate clutches or let it go!

- Find the killer, stop the murders, and put a stop to the rumors that have plagued your every step for 10 years!

Vanya: Oldest adoptive twin sibling to MC’s adoptive siblings, 6 years younger than MC. Strong-headed, intelligent, and always getting into trouble. She looks after her brother and MC in the ways she can.

Ajay: Youngest adoptive twin sibling to MC’s adoptive sibling, 6 years younger than MC. Nearly completely blind since birth, he enjoys painting and other artistic endeavors. Obedient yet opinionated.

Aunt Emma: The workaholic aunt that takes custody of MC and their younger siblings after the death of their parents. Well meaning but absent most of the time on business trips or at the office.

Kwan Hall: An adoptive relative to Robert Hall; aloof, intelligent, and completely ostracized by Trentworth as a whole. When the killings start again the town’s attention is immediately turned on Kwan. He’s the first to begin investigating the killings when the police prove their incompetence. He is of Korean descent, standing at 5’6” with dark hair and dark eyes. His most notable feature is the long scar that stretches from his forehead’s hairline, down his left temple, and ends just below his jawline and the constant disinterest on his face. He is asexual in that he doesn’t experience sexual attraction at all. He is also bisexual.

Alessia D’Agostina: Trentworth High’s school president. She’s clawed her way tooth and nail up to earn the respect of both the school faculty and her fellow classmates; she’s strong-willed, dependable, and always looks at things through a logical lens. When she sees her classmates dying, she takes it upon herself to try and stop this once and for all. With dark skin, deep brown eyes, long braided hair, and standing at 5’8” her confidence and sense of self always make sure she stands out from the crowd. Alessia is bisexual.

Georgiy Kuzmin: Twin brother to Anastasiya Kuzmin; he is, in the kindest way possible, not the brightest bulb in the box. Yet he always means well and is more than willing to offer a helping hand. As the co-captain of the basketball team, captain of the baseball team, and the star of the swim team, Georgiy is one of the most popular and well beloved students at Trentworth High. When he realizes his friends are in danger, he willingly throws himself into the investigation to do all he can to help. With fair skin, dirty blond hair, bubbly green eyes, and standing at 6’1” he cuts an approachable figure to anyone who knows him. Georgiy is gay.

Anastasiya Kuzmin: Twin sister to Georgiy Kuzmin: she and her brother are alike in so many ways apart from just appearance. Anastasiya, who goes by Ana more often than not, is head of the Co-Ed Varsity Basketball team, the Girls’ softball team, and the Tennis team. Just as popular and loved as her brother, Ana may not be the smartest but she makes up for it with passion and dedication. Like her brother, she has fairer skin, dirty blond hair, and bright green eyes. Also like her brother, she felt she couldn’t just sit around while her friends were put in danger and agreed to join the investigation. Ana is gay and demiromantic, meaning she only gains feelings for someone after having a strong relationship with them.

Lillian Triano: A quiet, withdrawn girl who mainly keeps to herself. Due to the fact that Trentworth High demands for every senior to be apart of an elective, she is mainly seen in afterschool reading club run by Ms. Habeeb. She’s MC’s closest friend, having been one of the only people who didn’t believe the rumors that MC’s parents were assisting Robert Hall in his murders. She has an olive complexion, brown eyes, a heavy dose of freckles, and stands at 5’1”. Lillian is gay.

Jasmine Abernathy: Jasmine is Trentworth High’s self proclaimed “Best news source!” After the school newspaper was disbanded, Jasmine took it upon herself to keep freedom of the press alive. She’s fierce in her pursuit of the truth and never one to back down from a fight, though her rash attitude can get her into some sticky situations on occasion. With vibrant red hair, dark brown eyes, and standing at 5’3” she puts the term “fire” in Fire Signs. (She’s an Aries in astrology!) When the copycat killings began, it was no surprise when she took the case head on. Jasmine is bisexual.

Asa San Nicholas: Asa is the oldest of a set of triplets; they’re the type to march to the beat of their own drum, often not listening to what anyone has to say about themselves or their interests. Asa is a firm believer in the paranormal and it isn’t uncommon to find them indulging in their interest in various ways. “The spirits are distrubed. These deaths aren’t meant to happen.” Asa’s reason for getting involved seems to tie directly back to their “connection” with the spirits of the town. Asa has black hair, most often tied in a ponytail, hazel eyes, and an olive skin tone. At 6’4” they tower over most everyone...something they seem to enjoy a great deal. Asa doesn’t see gender and is interested in people regardless of how they present.

Leo San Nicholas: The middle of the triplets. They are genderfluid, okay with any pronouns. Leo is, for lack of a better word, eccentric. A bit of an adrenaline junkie, you can often find them cliff diving or giving their siblings heart attacks by playing russian roulette with a chocolate gun. To them, it isn’t fun if there isn’t a little danger involved; naturally, an investigation into a serial killer scratches that itch quite nicely. Their black hair is clipped short, multiple piercings visible on each ear, and their heterochromatic hazel and green eyes are often stated to stare through a person. Although Leo is genderfluid, they are only interested in people who present as female.

The demo is upcoming! When it is available I will make a post announcing it! I will also update this post with the link! This game is written in choicescript; the demo will be published on Dashingdon and the final game will be published for free on itch.io. I am open for questions regarding this game/novel and once the demo is published I will also be publishing a link to my Ko-fi! Until then, please don’t hesitate to ask if you have any questions!

[voidic3ntity]

so it's been around 6 months since I first set up this blog, & truly, I cannot stress enough just how grateful I am for anyone who's taken any amount of time out of their day to read anything I've ever written or to show me even an ounce of supportive energy.

I mentioned this in one of my previous update posts over the last 6 months but I honestly just never thought that anybody would resonate with anything I'd ever write, with maybe the exception of myself in the future or some unlucky therapist or my parents or friends if things got really dark, so the fact that within such a short space of time, around 176 days, I have managed to amass my own little community of people who enjoy & benefit from the continued posting of my art, it really just means more to me than I think I'll ever be able to express with these silly little characters we call letters, I am just so fucking grateful for everything, again, I appreciate every single last one of you, truly, thankyou so much.

but beyond the truly heartfelt message of overdrawn appreciate; I feel like there's a few things I must address, some of which you might've been able to notice through various pieces of writings over the recent period, others which, unless we speak privately, which I try to avoid for the most part, many of you will not know.

firstly, honestly, lately I really haven't been doing well mentally, this is the main one which I assume people have been noticing, being in my early 20s, having past trauma resurface, trying to come to terms with that situation, along with various trauma related situations from my childhood too, & sometimes it just becomes too much & overwhelms me, & over the past winter period there's been many instances where I've thought about checking myself into some kind of impatient program until I learn how to better navigate the things in my mind, this isn't something I wish for, but sometimes it just feels like necessity, whether or not that will become my reality, at this current time,   I am unable to say, but just know that if something like that does happen, I will try my hardest to keep this blog updated & let you know that given enough time I will be back, at least with updates, & I will not stop writing, it's my only healthy coping mechanism.

another thing I wanted to address, which most of you won't be aware of, a week ago today I tested positive for covid, I've been trying to post regardless of it since the past week has consisted mostly of being bed bound & eating lots of cheese on toast lmao! currently on my 7th day, still feeling under the weather, but have had two negative tests back meaning I'm no longer infectious & hopefully I should start to feel a lot better over the next few days.

the last thing I wanted to address is how I actually run this blog: I want to make it clear that I have been writing seriously since I was around 18/19, meaning I have an extensive back catalogue which spans the last 4/5 years, I still write pretty often & due to necessity I often do post the more recent pieces because they're easier to access in my notes, however, I don't want people to get the impression that the things I post are always current, some days I'll post pieces I wrote the day before, other days I'll post pieces I wrote years ago, to me, the timestamp of when it was written doesn't really matter, it's all about art, & yes sometimes    I do use this blog as a kind of diary & I want to feel free to do so, however I don't ever want to feel chained by that, & honestly, specifically over the past week, I have felt very chained by it, sometimes I find myself feeling chained by habit, & honestly,        I think that's natural, & we always find ourselves somewhere between the ebb & the flow of habit & of novelty, sometimes    the tide will come in & sometimes the tide will go out, it's our ability to balance that which matters so much, & at the minute, maybe heightened by finding myself habitually ill, I am craving some kind of change, some kind of novelty, & although I enjoy the stability the current era of this blog brings, I think I want to branch out & grow again, I have plans to make a pinned post so my blog is easier to navigate, I know there's a lot of new eyes on this page & I love that, but I'm also so aware of just how difficult it is to find some of my older pieces, especially the few poetry readings I have done, I plan on doing more of them again soon, probably moreso during the summer because those late nights seem to be best for them, there's a lot more to come, thankyou.