#i am barty. barty is me

[elysianymph]

to make up for the angst i tormented you all with the other day: regulus having a crisis ft. barty having the time of his life

“She asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with them and I replied ‘I love swimming’,” Regulus says in a quiet, horrified tone. He grabs his pillow and tries to smother himself with it, all while screaming: “Who says that!?”

Regulus doesn't even need to look up to see the smirk Barty is wearing on his face. “Hey, look at the bright side,” Barty begins and Regulus already knows he will make the situation worse with whatever he’ll say next. “At least you didn't grab your crush by the arm while you were drunk and, when you felt how strong his arm was, ask him ‘are you flexing or are you just hard?’”

Regulus lets out another scream of anger, agony, rage, disbelief, betrayal. He can't believe he is still friends with this traitor.

Reluctantly, Regulus raises his head away from the pillow just enough to see the smirk growing on Barty’s face. He pays no attention to the darkening of Regulus’ glare. And then, barely containing his laughter, Barty says: “Oh wait, that was you too.”

“Shut up, Bartemius!” Regulus yells out, throwing his pillow at Barty. He tries and fails to catch the pillow and is hit in the face, the force of the impact sending him toppling onto the floor. None of that stops his cackling laughter as Regulus sulks in his own embarrassment, face probably as red as the Gryffindor uniform.

[courfee]

“Regulus would be proud of us,” James whispered quietly to no one in particular, still gripping onto the painting like a life raft. 

— Tender Curiosities, Baby!  @otrtbs

[onehundredflamingos]

1 / wait / 262 words

@stag-microfic

“Wait!” James called, running after the absolutely breathtaking man he had just cashed out at the supermarket.

The man turned around, biting into the apple he had just bought. He looked bored, but unhurried as he chewed, long tan fingers wrapped around the fruit.

James swallowed thickly.

“You — you forgot your receipt,” he said, handing it to him with an outstretched arm. He was embarrassed at how hard he was breathing from the fifteen foot jog from his cash register to where they were now standing, and he tried to slow it. He took a deep, steadying breath. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted it.”

The man took it out of James’ hand and looked it over, nothing but one single apple listed on the strip of paper — the apple that was now half-eaten and fully non-refundable.

He bit into the apple once more with his perfect teeth, and held it there, only halfway bitten through. Digging through his pocket, he fished out a pen and scribbled on the receipt before handing it back to James and fully biting off the chunk of apple.

“I don’t want this,” he said around the mouth full of food. He pushed the receipt back into James’ hand with a devastating smirk that nearly made James’ knees buckle.

He turned and walked away, and James finally looked down at the crumpled paper in his hands.

“Barty,” James read aloud, grinning like a fool. He walked back into the supermarket, vowing to call Barty at the handwritten number just as soon as he was off work.

[itsjaywalkers]

luck came (and died 'round here), ch 2

bartylily | explicit | 2/4

“Always an honour to ruin your day,” he replies, lighthearted, as if all this is just a big joke to him. It probably is. Lily doesn’t think Crouch has ever taken something seriously in his life. “You really not gonna tell me what’s up?” “I don’t understand why I should—” “C’mon, we’ve gotten closer since I saw you sobbing your eyes out outside of the library—” “Shut it,” she hisses, fear gripping at her heart while she resists the urge to take a quick look around, check that no one they know is near, that no one has heard him. “We don’t talk about that. In fact, I’d like to pretend it never happened.” “And why is that? Are you embarrassed by any chance, princess?” “Of being seen with you? Incredibly so.”

[emmypotter7]

barty who never figures out what sexuality he actually is. Barty who is attracted to girls and guys and everything in between and does care to put a label on it. Barty who responds with “idk i just am” whenever someone asks what is sexuality is. Barty who gets pissed off when people keep asking “have you figured out your sexuality yet?” because he has in fact figured out his sexuality, he just doesn’t feel like conforming under one specific label.

[addsalwayssick]

platonic cuddly moonwater

Regulus walking into the Gryffindor common room and laying his head on Remus’s lap.

Regulus jumping on Remus

Remus resting his head on Regulus’s shoulder when he’s reading

Regulus and Remus cuddling on the floor when watching a movie

James and Sirius really confused at it but happy nonetheless

Sirius joking about Regulus stealing his boyfriend

Regulus falling asleep on Remus after a long day

Regulus plopping himself in Remus’s lap after getting made fun of for being trans

Remus hugging regulus from behind and resting his head on regulus’s head

[floralembarrassment]

But I’m your Boyfriend (1/1) (jegulus)

"And what makes you think that I would be willing to help you?"

"Because I’m your boyfriend!" James said incredulously. 

"So that makes you special?" Regulus continued to look at him blankly, eyes hovering just above his book. 

James’ jaw dropped, eyes bulging. Shock before upset. Except he never got to upset because Barty of all people came up from behind and smacked Regulus’ on the back of the head. 

"What the hell was that for?" Regulus snarled. 

Barty flopped himself on the couch, falling easily into Evan’s opens arms and laying his head in Evan’s lap. “You can’t leave me for this sun cloud and then steal his spirit Black,” Barty smirked. 

The room went completely silent. Everyone staring at Barty, including Evan but not in the way that Barty wanted Evan to stare at him. Well okay, he wanted and would accept any look, glance, just-so-happened-peripheral catch of the eye from Evan, but this was not about Barty. 

Barty propped himself up on his elbows, looking around the room. “What?” he said sharply. 

“Did you just defend James?” Remus asked, always the bravest of them all when it came to Evan and Barty, mostly because they wanted Lupin, and Remus liked feeling like he was a god. 

“What? No!” Barty said quickly. 

Evan pulled Barty back down to his lap. “You kind of did...” Evan said tentatively. The room falling back into silence, everyone waiting for Barty to argue. 

But then Regulus laughed. 

He laughed and laughed, actually couldn’t stop one he started. And everyone watched him. His laughter was so contagious that eventually everyone was laughing along with him, except Barty was pouting slightly annoyed. 

James who had been standing this entire time, watching everyone go back and forth about Barty “protecting his light,” and daring to try and claim Regulus left Barty for James. 

James finally decided to cross the room to Regulus, crouching in front of him as Regulus’ laugh faded. There wasn’t any sound that warmed James’ bones more than Regulus’ laughter. Regulus tried to contain himself as James snaked his hands up his thighs and around Regulus’ waist. 

“Jamesssss” Regulus attempted at warning, but his laughter had loosened his grip on his emotional mask and it came out a whine. 

“Regulus,” James said back, tilting his head. He hadn’t forgotten how this conversation had started. 

“Don’t make me,” Regulus continued to pout. James just looked at him imploringly. 

“Fine, I will go to the ball with you,” Regulus conceded. 

“And?” James raised an eyebrow. 

“And its because you are my boyfriend,” Regulus huffed. 

“And?” Everyone else said in unison. 

“And you are special,” Regulus rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t keep his lips from turning up when James smiled brightly at him, finally standing and kissing Regulus’ head. 

[foursaints]

hi <3

first of all, i wanted to tell you i'm always stalking your blog (in a non creepy way) because i love everything about it. mostly i love how you use your big brain™️ to share some insanely detailed headcanons about some silly dead gay wizards (i mean that in the nicest way possible. i'm a little bit in love with you actually . anyway i'm digressing)

second of all, i wanted to know if you could share some of your thoughts about bartylily🤲🏻 because i'm fairly sure you're the main reason i'm hooked on them

much love <333

ANYTHING for bartylily... lately i've been attached to the idea of a college au where they're Rival Campus Radio Station Hosts.

barty is a spectacularly unmotivated senior who dropped out of a prestigious engineering degree to study practical SFX for horror movies instead. everyone has vague, peripheral knowledge of him after an incident where he was found passed out naked in the campus fountain. his apartment with the slytherins isn't technically a frat house but there's a structure in the kitchen affectionately referred to as the "Leaning Tower of Miller Lite" & barty has a nearly imperceptible crescent-shaped chip in his front tooth from a keg-standing mishap. he wears a lot of chains and has several john carpenter themed tattoos and he REEKS like cigarettes. so many pairs of mystery panties turn up in his laundry hamper that his housemates have started calling it the Lost And Found.

he has a deeply beloved & charmingly unpolished radio show in the primetime spot which mostly consists of him having his friends on, spotlighting terrible underground bands, and making drily ironical, beautifully mean jabs.

lily is an overzealous sophomore who's triple-majoring in three equally unmarketable degrees (it's, like, polisci & international affairs & communications) who's blessed with the gift of taking every single thing that happens on campus WAY too serious. she runs their Model UN like it's the navy. she's the RA who is always marching around her floor in a spaghetti-strap tanktop & bunny slippers with a scrunchie on her wrist, shaking her fist at people. there was a period following her breakup with james where she was literally reading Machiavelli for inspiration. she's right on the precipice of the cool-girl academic meltdown that will lead to Serious Character Growth, but she isn't quite there yet.

her well-made and well-researched radio show is relegated to the midnight timeslot, and even though all her friends listen to it she probably got into a spat with them for saying something along the lines of "obviously i dont care if its just YOU listening to it, remus!!!". she hate-listens to barty's show which she considers (lily voice) An Affront To Collegiate Journalism

they trade barbs at every function and absolutely nobody but the two of them takes their insane imaginary Radio Beef even remotely serious whatsoever. but it's dead serious TO THEM!!! lily is probably camping out in actual bushes with actual binoculars to sabotage his show, and the worst part is that it's actually working. she ISN'T obsessed with him (shut up!!!!!), and barty is mostly just aggravated on principle that the Uptight Lowerclassman Ruining His Life has such nice legs.

and they absolutely bone like crazy about it

[moonyswarmsweaters]

smart but idiotic Barty agenda

That one time Regulus and Dorcas didn’t come to Potions

Evan: Barty can you help us with the questions?

Pandora: Pleaseeeee

Barty: Why the fuck you want my help?

Pandora: You are smart at this!

Barty: I am an Idiot

Evan: We know but You get top marks!

Barty: that doesn’t mean I know how I do it! You can copy but that’s on you!

[malarki]

Harry: (running into an idea with only a half thought out plan) 😎👍👍

A crumb of context: after Harry gets to this new universe he brings Tom back with the help of Barty Crouch Jr. For security though, both Tom and Barty are under unbreakable vows (Tom’s being more strict) that keep them relatively harmless and make them help Harry ‘achieve his goals’ so Tom has to Figure It Out or he will perish 😔

We will get into more deets later, honestly I think it’s just more fun to explain the plot with mini comics then to just write it all out so that’s prolly what I’ll end up doing

Also!! This was the first art I did for this au, little fun fact

[mars-shifts]

evan is me, i am evan.

[03junkie]

i see your evan rosier fancast and raise you: ross lynch

[morsmortish]

“we must not let our passions destroy our dreams.” | bartylily

a bartylily as lancelot and guinevere study

as tensions heat in the court of camelot between the king, his wife, and his favourite knight, arthur cautions: “we must not let our passions destroy our dreams.” he speaks of the bond between lancelot and guinevere that threatens to uproot everything they have all worked so hard to build. and yet, the pair can’t stifle all the feelings that seep through the cracks in the facades they’ve both built up. it was never meant to be like this. they were never meant to be together. guinevere is the queen: she has the responsibility of a kingdom of people upon her shoulders. lancelot is a knight: he exists to serve someone else. he lives his life in the capacity of how he can be useful to arthur. they are not a pair written in the stars. and yet. and. yet. they find whatever it is that they’ve been missing in each other. maybe it is the way they are able to see each other, in a way no one else can. through all the layers of expectations and facades of morality. they each see the souls beneath the armour or pretty dresses. and perhaps that is more powerful, more important, than what they’ve been living for until now. barty and lily are similar, in that they both see the other for who they are. behind lily’s “little miss perfect” facade is a real human being, with a soul made up of the same stuff as the soul that hides behind barty’s pretense of the ‘honourable son’ he is named for. they’ve both spent their entire lives pretending, living for other peoples expectations of them, and the freedom they find with each other is unexplainably special. the passions they experience much outweigh the dreams of other people that they’ve been living as thus far. “we must not let our passions outweigh our dreams.” but what if one’s passions become one’s dreams? what then? are the sacrifices worth it? for lancelot and guinevere, and indeed barty and lily, the answer will always be yes.

[loserboyfriendrjl]

since people are asking for them, here are my unpopular marauders opinions

(note, and i mean this in the most serious way: please, for the love of god, if you don't agree, just scroll. there is no reason to cause drama over some unpopular opinions of some random tumblr user just because you don't agree with me.)

remus is my least favorite character. don't get me wrong, i love him to bits, he's just the least intriguing to me. he's the character we've been given most of; not only that, i find sirius and james' character, as well as peter's (and his betrayal), as far more interesting

i don't really like jegulus for the same reason as remus; the dynamic is interesting, there is a lot to work with there, including the death eater and order member dynamic, but i just find some ships as more interesting

most of the characters are written as super one-dimensional and therefore i do not like most fandom characterizations which is a crucial point, to me, in whether i read the fic. i like fics in which the characters are written as real people, with human emotions and flaws, and not some qualities thrown together

some wolfstar shippers are pretty much the most annoying people in fandom (coming from a wolfstar shipper). shipping the only consistent ship in this fandom does not make you inherently better than everyone else, and just because someone else splits wolfstar for other ships dynamics does not mean anything

the black sisters and the evans sisters, if written well, can be more interesting than the black brothers and i don't think we talk enough about them (i also find the black brothers are really interesting, and i need more fics in which the intensity of these dynamics are explored)

i dislike the main characterization of regulus in fandom, being a huge fan of morally grey regulus. however, each with their own characterization, and i'm no one to judge next. i find him to be a very interesting character, however, and i like fics that dive deeper into his character

people who ship jegulus and hate lily for no reason need to chill; furthermore, people who hate mary and lily for "getting in the way" of their mlm ships are... i'm not going to comment on this, but you probably know what i mean

"stan bambi" comments on snape videos are really annoying because the very same way we don't like (and sometimes get aggressive) over snape lovers attacking the characters we like, why are we doing that to other people?

i need more peter-centered fics, and i do not like him only being a sidekick or ignored. also, mary is also a very interesting character, and i don't think we credit her enough for it

dorlene > wolfstar

the girls are far more interesting than people make them out to be and i NEED an atyd-like fic (long canon compliant etc) from their povs. it's not a want, it's a need, and i might just write it myself, because i think that a fic like that has a lot of potential

dorcas is morally grey and i need more fics in which that is a thing

this might be my most unpopular opinion but i prefer lily to regulus; i find them both to be very interesting characters, but i find myself more drawn to lily

pretty privilege is REAL in this fandom. bet that if peter and snape were conventionally attractive, they would be as loved as evan, barty, and regulus

i do not see sirius as transfem but why do people have to be so pressed about this hc. lif you don't see it, shut up, move on with your day, and let people who see it do their thing; this fandom is TOO pressed about other people's hcs

i kind of dislike fanon james because they strip him of all humanity and emotions, and make him a ray of walking sunshine with no issues (hence my essay on it, which you can read here)

james would choose sirius over regulus any day

[all-too-unwell-13]

what i think marauders characters would think about taylor swift

(part 2 - includes the emeralds/slytherin skittles + emmeline vance, emma vanity, & amelia bones)

the emeralds:

regulus - he'd love taylor swift!! regulus' favourite albums would be ttpd, midnights & red tv. i don't make the rules (yes i do) 🤷‍♀️ his favourite songs from each album would be 'loml,' 'question...?' and 'treacherous' (which he'd never admit, but it's true)

barty - i can see barty saying he hates taylor just to piss of reg, but if 'king of my heart' came on, he'd vibe and def wouldn't turn it off (he associates it with evan 👀) (wanna unpack why that is, barty?)

evan - loves her. period. his fav album is reputation and his favourite songs are 'gorgeous,' 'don't blame me' & 'delicate' !! (he associates them with barty 😙😙)

pandora - her number one song on spotify wrapped EVERY YEAR, without fail, is 'i hate it here' by taylor. second top song is 'never grow up (taylor's version)'. she's a speak now tv girl!!

dorcas - also pretends to hate taylor, but 'the man' by taylor is on almost all of her "favourite song" playlists so 😋😋 she's a lover girl at heart, but she tells pandora (she's the only one who knows she likes taylor) that her favourite is evermore

the others <3 (what is their group name?):

emmeline vance - genuinely doesn't listen to taylor swift much, but would never hate on her or say anything against her. she just doesn't know much of her music or much about her, so she doesn't judge 🤷‍♀️ will listen to fearless tv with mary if asked though!!

emma vanity - she's a huge swiftie and she's LOUD about it. everyone knows she loves taylor; her favourite album is lover & fav song is 'cruel summer' (emma liked it before it blew up, and she makes sure to add that whenever she tells someone)!! emma is alsooo a huge red tv girl, but more the lover girl side of red, yk?? like she LOVES 'begin again,' 'run,' as well as 'forever winter'

amelia bones - her and emma bond at first bc of their love for taylor and just music in general !! amelia doesn't seem like it, but she's an evermore and, strangely enough, debut type of person. her favourite all-time taylor song is 'a place in this world' !! a close second for her is 'dorothea'

[ernestnott]

MARAUDERS&CO SNACKING HABIT

Sirius : They have a sweet tooth. Sirius often crave sugary snacks like candy, the fruity one hehe. They’re not against chocolate but don’t like caramel.

Remus : He loves chocolate obviously. But if there is no chocolate he prefers salty snacks.

James : He loves to cook big meals and enjoy eating them ! If he wants a snack he will choose crips over biscuits.

Peter : Everyone think he is team sugar snack because he bakes a lot (chocolate cake for Remus mostly). But he just loves to snack, no discrimination here. Although he will have salty snacks more often than sugar ones.

Dorcas : They love salty snacks !! Barty and her bicker a lot about there different taste. They’re favorite are wasabi peanut and she often trick Barty so he ends up eating it too (he hates it).

Pandora : She always have some food with her. But it’s vegetables and fruits. Like, she can be seen eating an entire tomato or cucumber, out of nowhere. Evan always need to reminds her to eat a proper meal because otherwise she will forget that raw fruits and vegetables are not consistant enough.

Lily : She loves all kind of sugary snacks. She steals out of Remus’ chocolate stack a lot (he thinks it’s Sirius) and Dora often gifts her some fruits.

Regulus : Wants everyone to think he is team salt but he is not fooling anyone with him caring around chocolate candy and biscuits in his bag.

Barty : Always has a gum in his mouth. He needs to occupies his tongue and if he is out of gum he suck on some caramel candy instead. This guy has a lot of cavity on his tooth…

Evan : He doesn’t really like to snack. Prefers meal that satisfy his hunger fully. He doesn’t like sugar very much and often say that Barty’s mouth as enough sugar for the both of them. If he eats sugar it’s because it’s a charlotte (cake with fromage blanc and fruits and biscuits like boudoirs).

Mary : She likes crips a lot. This is a problem. She likes potatoes, really. Anything made out of them and she is happy.

Marlene : She almost always have a can of monster or other drink like that with her. But she hates coca (she boycott it). And she likes to have some tête brûlée (candy that are very spicy) with it.