#i had to have a panic attack and wanna kill myself over it

[slasher-jaxshitposts]

TW: vent

I hate not having any control over my own life. I hate not being allowed to choose what I wear, what I do, and what I control. I hate being told to do the dishes everytime the sink is full, I hate being the family therapist, I hate not being allowed to relax without being shamed for it.

I tell my sisters no to something that will make a mess if I don't watch them closely, then being forced to give it to them anyways by THEIR father and still have to clean up THEIR mess.

I hate having to do the dishes when their are other people in the house who can do it, then being told the way I do it is wrong.

I hate being threatened to have my hair ripped out of my skull if I don't do what I'm told.

I hate being told I look TOO good in something by my mother and then those pants or that shirt get taken from me and put in my moms drawer.

I hate being told that only skanks wear cropped tops and not to walk around in only a bra and some shorts when I'm hot because my dad (step-dad) is in the house, or he has friends over that he could bring them in, but my mom wears crop tops, and she walks around in the store, at other peoples houses and other PUBLIC places in just a bra.

^But when I walk around OUR house, I'm asking for it

I hate wanting my hair cut, and eventually getting to the point where I want to cut it myself, but I can't. Wanna know why? Cause I'll get my ass beat for doing something I've been BEGGING my mom to do for the past year or so.

i hate being told the hair cut I want is too short, or too boy like, or it doesn't match my face, that it'll make me look ugly.

I hate being expected to let my mother rant to me, but get scolded if I try talking about my feeling with her.

I hate telling my mom things I wanna do, then her tell me no and that I have to do something because she had to.

I hate being told not to let people see me cry, not to let people see me weak, not to let them think I'm weak, then being told I should cry more, and let my feelings out when my dog gets killed.

I hate having to fake my tears so that my mom thinks I'm alright.

I hate that every time I sit down I'm automatically not doing anything, that I'm always so lazy, that I don't do anything.

I hate being the one who has to talk myself out of panic attacks, then when I tell my mom, she just tells me not to let myself.

"Why are you putting yourself the panic attack? Why are you letting it beat you?" She says

But god forbid if one of my sisters start having a panic attack. And I get it, their 5 and 7, yes worry about them, but I'm 15, I want my mom to about me like that.

I hate feeling like I have to fight my feelings.

I hate wanting to be a man just so I can feel some kind of control, and I still don't feel like I can control anything.

I hate the way my step-father has made me hate men, but I still want their love.

I hate feeling like I need to fight for love.

I hate the empty "I love you"'s that come out of my mom, and stepdads mouths.

I hate the fact that I still love my mom, despite the things she's put me through.

I hate feeling like I'm never enough, like if I'm of no use to anyone, then why should they love or care about me?

I hate feeling like everyone expects so highly of me, and then are significantly disappointed when they actually get to know me.

I hate not feeling much of anything besides anxiety, fear, and anger.

I hate feeling smaller than everyone else.

I hate having to create different personas for every person I meet, just so I can be liked.

I hate not being allowed to be myself.

I hate feeling like crap everytime I'm not comfortable with doing something, because if I'm of no use to you, why should you care for/about me?

I hate not being able to focus on one project, and then feeling terrible because I never finished something.

I hate feeling sorry for others more than I do myself.

I hate not knowing when my next meal will be.

I hate being shamed for not eating because "we have plenty of food."

I hate having issues with certain textures of food, and having to go hungry because I don't like what my mom fixed.

I hate not liking certain tastes, then being forced to eat it, because I'm tired of starving myself.

I hate feeling like I'm bothering everyone else because of my feelings.

I hate feeling bad for snapping at my sisters, when they didn't even do anything wrong.

I hate being shamed for how little I eat, and how much I sleep.

I hate how I never get a break.

I hate getting shamed for taking a break.

I hate how my mom and step dad don't care about my hobbies unless it makes money that they can emotionally manipulate me into giving them.

I hate feeling like I can't trust anyone.

I hate losing weight, but still looking fat.

I hate wishing I had more things wrong with me, just so I feel like I have a reason to complain.

But most importantly...

I hate myself

And I'm sorry if you actually read all of this. You shouldn't have to listen to some stranger that you don't even truly know on the internet. Because you don't know me, no one knows me. They know a carefully designed version of me that was made just for them.

@puppet200 @purpleeggyboi @th3-r4t-48 @zeroisreallygood @im-a-simp898 @luciluck2046 @evry1h8s-me @aflairforthemelodramaticc @caretaleandotherstuff

[contraryasichoose]

fuck the fact i’m three years past it, my APUSH teacher should be hunted for sport

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

whenever dan and phil say words i remember misha collins coming out as straight and think, maybe if we’re really good, that could be dnp too 🙏

[jadeneppy]

,

[verstappen-cult]

# THE BOYS MEETING YOUR PARENTS

INTRODUCING THE BOYS. lando norris. charles leclerc. oscar piastri. max verstappen. alex albon. daniel ricciardo. mick schumacher. logan sargeant.

Gwen’s radio message. . . 💬. you don’t know how much i missed doing these f1 grid headcanons! thanks to the anon who sent the request in the first place. i use a few different prompts for this, if you wanna check them out: one, two and three. <333

★ — LANDO NORRIS (4)

You’re waiting for your parents at the restaurant, Lando by your side looking like he’s about to meet his death. You notice that his leg is jumping anxiously beneath the table. In another situation you’d make fun of him but not this time, so you grab his hand and squeeze slightly, pulling him out of his head. You reassure him that everything will be okay, that “you’re going to be fine. They will love you just like I love you.” and Lando tries to smile, he really tries but he’s nervous. He’s meeting your parents, the most important people in your life, and he wants to make a good impression. You make small talk, trying to give him a few tips, what he can say to your father or how to compliment your mother’s dress. In the end, he didn’t have any reason to worry. Because after the initial greeting Lando is already in a deep conversation with your father about cars while your mother looks softly between you two. They leave with the promise of having dinner at their house next week. Lando can’t stop ranting about how interesting your father is and “do you think they would like to go to the next race? I can arrange that immediately. I’m sure your dad would love it.”

★ — CHARLES LECLERC (16)

Charles is about to have a panic attack or at least that’s what you think as you watch him pace around the living room. “You don’t understand. Like I need them to love me because you love them, and if they don’t love me I’ll just, I don’t know, kill myself.” And you can’t help but laugh because you’ve never seen him that nervous, not even on your first date he acted like this. He is a complete gentleman when your parents arrive at your house. Your father hasn’t even parked yet but he’s already waiting at the door with the most bright smile you’ve ever seen. Your mother loves him immediately, but your dad makes things a little hard, teasing him and making him so flustered you think Charles will pass out from how embarrassed he is. However, your mother has your back because she teases him back, engaging in some playful banter. Your heart starts hammering in your chest when Charles leans in and whispers “that will be us one day.”

★ — OSCAR PIASTRI (81)

You were nervous when, in reality, you shouldn’t have been. Oscar was natural, he was the one reassuring you that everything was going to be fine while you tried very hard to make him turn around and go back home. He had to park somewhere halfway to your parent’s house to calm you. If his kisses had anything to do with you finally relaxing nobody doesn’t need to know that. But he was right, as always, because dinner went smoothly. You have finished eating, your parents are laughing at something Oscar has said and you feel like you couldn’t be more in love. You are wrong because when your mother stands up to clean the table, Oscar is up in a second telling her to “sit down, I’ll take care of that. Anyone want coffee?” and you fall a little more in love. Oscar disappears into the kitchen and you get up to help him when your mother grabs your hand and softly whispers “He’s a keeper.”

★ — MAX VERSTAPPEN (33/1)

Max insisted on buying the most grand bouquet of flowers, the most expensive wine and taking the Ferrari once you revealed just how much your dad loves cars and, especially, Ferrari. You couldn’t laugh even though you found it funny and over the top, but no one has ever done something like that for you. It shows how important you are to him. Your parents love him immediately, your mother is more than happy when she sees her favorite flowers while your dad looks like a fish out of water, unable to close his mouth as he admires the Ferrari parked outside their house. Max makes the mistake of asking him if he would like to take a ride and they leave for thirty minutes. He makes conversation with your parents during dinner, they humiliate you a bit and bond over how spoiled you are. When it’s time to go, your mother hugs him so tightly and says “thank you for taking such good care of her.” 

★ — ALEX ALBON (23)

You’re coming out of a store when you see your mother across the street and before you can turn around and pretend you didn’t see them, she’s calling your name. Alex is surprised and doesn’t know what to do, choosing to stay a few feet behind because “I’m not ready! I need to mentally prepare myself to meet her and I’m wearing fucking shorts and a shirt, I can’t meet her like this.” but your mother sees him and her face lights up. “Is this the young man you’ve been hiding from us?” and Alex can do nothing more than accept your mother’s hug and the kiss on the cheek. When you laugh he sends you a death glare and you know you’ll be hearing about it all the way home. She invites you to have dinner because “dad misses you and he will be so happy to meet Alex.” and you were gonna decline her offer, really. But Alex beats you and accepts instead, telling her that “we would love to! But come to our house, we will cook for you.” 

★ — DANIEL RICCIARDO (3)

The first thing your mom says when she opens the door is “have you eaten? I made this delicious tiramisu, come on!” as she grabs Daniel’s arm and drags him to the kitchen, leaving you behind with your bags and the bottle of wine you insisted on buying. You don’t take too long closing the door and following them, but once you enter the kitchen Daniel is already sitting on a stool with a big plate of tiramisu in front of him. He sees you and smiles with his mouth full, and it would’ve made you laugh if you weren’t so offended. Your mother washes the dishes and makes small talk with Daniel, asking him random things about himself to get to know him better and he’s more than happy to answer all of them. When ten minutes go by without your own mother acknowledging you, you decide to speak because “you’re not gonna ask if I want a plate too, mother? Your own daughter?” which she takes as a good opportunity to tell a story about your childhood and humiliate you in front of your boyfriend. 

★ — MICK SCHUMACHER (47)

You weren’t supposed to find them, that’s what Mick tells you when you ask him “baby, are these… flashcards?” surprised when you start reading them and is all the information you gave him about your family during the week. He is embarrassed and it takes a lot of convincing and kisses to make him look at you. “I want to be prepared, okay? I want to make a good impression and this is my way to achieve that.” And, well, he is right. Because when the day comes, Mick fits so well. He asks your little brother about university and gives him a few tips, he asks your mother about work and your dad about horses, he even sits down with your little sister to play with her dolls. Everyone loves him. If you have to listen to your family tell embarrassing stories about you, you will endure it if it means you’ll keep seeing Mick’s bright smile. 

★ — LOGAN SARGEANT (2)

Logan wants to run. Yes, it was his idea to invite your family to a baseball game but “I still can get out of here and you can tell them that I’m sick. Or you can tell them that you don’t want me to meet them and we can run away to the Maldives or som—” you cup his face and shut him up with a kiss before he can keep talking nonsense. “You need to breathe.” It takes a while but he regulates his breathing eventually and doesn’t feel like passing out anymore. Logan still thinks that is best if he doesn’t attend the game and is actually about to make his escape when your brother yells your name. Before you can join them at the entrance, you hold Logan’s hand and whisper how much you love him. Logan forgets all about his anxiety once you are inside the stadium and he has a beer on his hand. Your dad makes sure to make him feel welcomed, including him in his and your brother's conversation. When you are home that night, getting ready for bed, Logan tells you that “I’m going fishing with your dad tomorrow.” And honestly, what the hell?

© VERSTAPPEN-CULT ⎯ do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[fertilize-my-eggs]

Love at first sight ❤️

Shigaraki x quirkless fem chubby reader smut.

A/N: I know this was fast but I miss writing fanfics and miss posting content, I know this fanfic isn't proofread but I hope y'all enjoy some nasty time with shiggy and reader being horny and in love🤣🤤🤤

Waring: creampie + unprotected sex + smut with no plot + possessive creepy reader and shigaraki + size difference 🤭💕

The first time you fall in love was when you first saw him.. on a news where villains attacking UA and you shouldn't fallen in love with the league leader tomura shigaraki.

It's starting off little things like getting screenshots of him saved in your phone to you masturbating over the thought of you wanted him to have his way with you.

You mewl and moan out his name and stare at his face for hours. Your wet fingers sliding in and out fast, heavy sighs. Fill with heart eyes over a criminal who could easily destroy you within seconds.

But you didn't care, you didn't care how anyone reacted to this and your strange behavior. To the point you found out the location, after many months of tracking where they at. It's was pretty easy to find tomura at a sketchy broken down bar.

It's the middle of the night, you carefully pic lock the door trying to sneak in.

You felt a large staple hand on the back of your neck as you freeze up, how the fuck did someone already found you?!? you're were silence.

" what the hell are you doing here pretty little thing? " your eyes turn to the left to meet with bright blue eyes staring at you.

The man forcefully push you up against the door.

" I ask you a question… you don't wanna get burn to crisp now you gotta speak doll. " you start to panic, breathing heavily as the man sigh with disappointed.

" alright… since you don't wanna speak how about I just.. " no warning, he remove you from the door, his long arm wrapped around your body as you try to escape but it's no used.

He open the door and you were greeted by all the villains and your eyes were fill of love the moments you caught eyes with your lover.

He's was sitting on the stool with a nice cold drink with him. But you soon realized this is a mistake you can easily get murdered by the villains.

" awww dabi, I didn't know you had girlfriend. " a blonde haired girl skip to you as she show her pointy fangs. 

" can I drink your blood? " Dabi roll his eyes at her and said.

" shut up crazy, we're have other one trying to break in.. " now everyone stare at you with confused and it's was harder to read since they had blank stare.

Shigaraki was puzzle by this as he slowly gets up come towards you as dabi removed his arms.

" why did you break in? Are you dumb?? " his eyes narrow at you harshly, he grabbed you by the neck as you were lifting up from the ground.

" or are you a spy hero trying to break in? " you grab his wrist as you quickly shake your head no. Shigaraki's grip was loosen up but he still didn't want you to ran away.

" I'm in love with you tomura shigaraki, I love how beautiful you look and I always finger myself to your photos for hours. " you started to babbling and rambling on and on in details you are loved with him.

Everything went silent the moment you were talking as you finish your rambling, dabi started to laugh like a mad man, holding his belly while a other man was mocking you.

You started to feel uneasy and having doubts.

Tomura rise his other hand up to silent everyone once it's was quiet tomua look at you with a wide smirk, your knees melts in seconds, it's the first time you seen him smile.

"I'm taking you to my room." it's surprised everyone and yourself, you're more surprised that he's didn't kill you off after you say some unsettling things that anyone would ran away from you.

"kurogiri don't let's anyone disturb us." You saw dabi's reaction to this and it was so priceless, you wish you had camera to take it.

Tomura had you in his arms as he walk to his room, he open the door and slammed it shutted as he stare at you.

" are you saying all of that true my little pet? " tomura carass your face, you can see him fill with lust, you could bearly see his crimson eyes. Pure black hue.

Your smile match with his." Yes my love!! I mean everything and I want you to myself.. I-... " You start to get jealous that there women in the bar. 

" I don't want anyone touching what mine! " you pouting angry but tomura coo at you softly as he gently caress your lips with his thumb.

" aww you're so fucking cute. " your eyes follow his hands as it travels south, you watch his hand slid in your pants while he grabbed your hand to his pants too.

" go on touch it, it's yours and this is my pussy right? " you nodded your head fast, you know anyone would be screaming, scared and just calling out for help but not you.

You let's a strange man carass your cunt while you grabbed his hard manhood.

" please I wanna taste it, I want you to fuck me already shigaraki~!! " tomura groan at your begging such an obedience girl.

"mhmm fuck… I can't take this." You got confused when he remove both his hands from you, you felt relieve quickly when he started pull your clothes off fast.

You help out too by removing his clothes, he push you down, face down ass up.

You felt his hands being very touchy by grabbing and pinching your juicy butt.

" holy fuck.. " you turn your head to see him in total awe, he looks so starstruck by your beauty, it's was boosting your ego.

You cry out, feeling a sharp pain in your lower abdomen, tomura towers over your small curvy body as he start to bite your shoulder harsh.

His hips wouldn't stop, your eyes rolled back and drooling falling down. His thick cock hitting your cervix harder and faster, you can feel yourself melting and holding the sheets for dear life.

You didn't want this to stop, it's feel amazing, losing your virginity to your first love is the best feeling you ever felt.

" kiss me baby please~.. " you turn to him, the kissing was soft and tender, his lips were a bit chappie but you really enjoyed it.

It's like lovers finally meeting as one.

Tomura pull away, quickly grab you and throw you on the bed.

Shigaraki didn't waste time as he slides inside your tight walls, he wanted to see your fucked out expression.

It's working, your face was the most beautiful thing he ever seen, he love to destroy everything and anyone but at this moment he felt peaceful, he felt calm.

He groan out fast realized he was reaching his end, he was pulling out until you wrapped your legs around his hips. Pulling him closer to you.

" please…. Cum inside me shigaraki!! Ahh I'm yours, I-.. " you put your hands on his cheek as you sigh softly.

" I want a family with you and stay together ahh fuck please~!! " that what broke him, he reach his end, his thick heavy semen hits your walls, filling you up.

You coo at him, pulling him closer, your arms around his neck as you giving him extra love by kiss him all over. You can feel his juice slowly sliding down your other hole.

You sigh heavy, you're going to be sore in the morning but you didn't care, you want more.

Tomura coo at you, pulling you close as he whispered in your ear.

" you want a family? Don't worry about it princess. "

Tomura move away to look at you.

" gotta go for rounds to get you pregnant. " he give you a cheeky wink, pulling your legs to chest, you can't wait to be a mom.

[cassedyevihtt]

Solitaire and Radiosilence

I have been listening to these audio books again. About how these characters pour their hearts out online. And how people go through trying times but have friends thats there for them.

Examples of this is Tori she suffers alot alone and has to be there for charlie "i am the one thats suppost to be there when these things happen"

She cant bear the thought of someone being concerned and caring for her. But at the end of the day she feels safe with a person and lets him in. This is extraordinary.

Another thing that are common in fiction in general is that these emotional issues get to a high point where shit has got to go down. Like there starts a fire at Tori's school that makes her properly freak out and thats how she and people around her find out abt exactly how depressed she's been feeling.

Or when Tori sees micheal lose that scating competition. And he rages.

That sort of thing never happens in real life. Most of us suffer in silence. And it never gets this high point. It might gradually go over or it stays for a loooong time.

And if it does get a high point, people are never there to see it. Not the people you care abt most anyway.

Cuz u shield the people u care abt. U dont want them to go around concerned.

I freak out over things. It can get hard for me to stand or breathe sometimes and i can get a bit manic. This is all in my head. I can get easily overwhelmed bc i naturally think alot. And notice alot of things. Especially when doing something new. And not fun. Like work. This is just a basic truth for me. Something i need to live with and be patient with.

And when i get like that, sometimes I just want a hug. And other times i want people to fuck off and I just need a break and a snack. And some sleep. And to make a list.

How nice would it be for someone to know and understand that? I dont want people to be like "oh no will she be alr doing these big things she wanna do in her life?" I dont want them to make me doupt myself. I want them to stand by, see me suffer and see me pull through anyway. Like the push and pull. Both "u got this come on one more step!!" And "now u just chill, tomorrow u work"

Radiosilence has a sequence where Francis goes and finds his sister, tracks her down, fools aled's toxic af mother and finds his sister. Aled's sister and Francis and Daniel and Rain all drive 6 hours in the middle of a schoolday to find Aled.

And i feel like this also only happens in fiction. People truly caring for one another and seeing when other people are hurting and DOING something abt it. Solitaire had it realistic "i saw it comming and yet I did nothing" both charlie and tori said this to one another.

I wish someone would do that for me if they knew i was not feeling well. And i wish people would do that without it needing to be "i think she might kill herself" it could just be "mate, i think she's having a stressy day, so lets bake something nice for her and do something fun together" I mean, it doesnt have to get so serious before friends just contact each other or appear without warning and just hang out or talk.

I think, the friends that i have now, i probably wouldnt have taken that roadtrip for them in the middle of my schoolday. I'd think for them to sort it out by themself. Now, with Aled, the character's got a houndred hints that he was not okay. But in real life u cant tell. People just go around lying and maybe stop texting if they even did much in the first place.

I knew one friend was hurting herself. So i asked abt it. This was before i grew up. She talked abt it and i said for her to talk to me abt it from that moment onward. I also showed concern for another friend who had 'issues at home' I said for her to meet me after school one day where she could let it all out, and I would listen. So i did.

Another friend had panic attacks and I tried to show that i was there for them aswell. I tried to ask how they were, if they were getting help (which they were)

But then i went through shit. And i didn't feel anyone was there. I later told a friend myself, but before that no one really noticed.

I am pretty sure my main friend group knew shit was bad for me at some point. I said i'd done something stupid and they'd all ask what and i couldnt tell them.

Now later we dont really talk. My friend that had panic attacks isnt on the same wavelength as me anymore. We dont have the same interests and they have this other friend that is better. And i pissed of their little sister.

Its just. I think I chose the wrong friends. Friends who just wants to use me and discard me when i have nothing more for them to use, when i don't want to listen to their sob stories anymore. There is no genuine "how are u though?" Bc they do ask just to be nice but in reality everyone knows that they wouldnt be able to take the answer. They wouldn't want to hear the real answer. They just want to feel guilty. They want reassurance. They dont want to be there.

I am ready to move away from this place. I want fresh air. New friends that will take initiative. That wont just wait for me to make a move. But actually come around to my house and check up on me, not bc i seem sad but bc thats just a nice thing to do.

That they will call me instead of me just calling them. (For example one friend I called alot but he never called first)

And this is not me wanting pity. I dont do pity. What i want is understanding. And to be seen. Like micheal and Tori. For someone to stop and invest in the energy to get to know me, slowly. Quality time. Pick up cues and pieces of who i am. Not just the rough tough exterior i have (which I love) but the person inside too.

Maybe I'd like it to be more than one person so that I dont enter some Co-dependant relationship/friendship again. Still a bit hard to trust myself or anyone else after something like that. It has always been hard for me to trust others though.

In reality the only one that can save u is urself. It would be nice to have team players though. Real and actual team players.

[beautifuldisaster88]

Don't Blame Me

A/N: I just randomly came up with this whole listening to Taylor Swift's song Don't Blame Me. I feel like that would so be Unhinged!Rafe and InnocentTurnedUnhinged!Girlfriend. Like they would do whatever it takes to protect each other. Sorry in advance if it sucks. I didn't proofread or anything. Simply wrote it and posted right after.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

She ran as fast as her legs would take her the moment that she found out Barry planned on betraying Rafe, and turning him in. After trying over and over again to call Rafe, having no luck, she panicked, throwing her phone as she kept running. Her chest tightened and breathing became more difficult, but a panic attack wasn't going to stop her from getting to Rafe.

Drenched in sweat and out of breath, she spotted the Kildare County Sheriff's department boats, making her worst nightmare come true. It was too late. They'd found him. No, fuck that! Nobody was taking her love away, not even the fucking law. That's when she spotted him, face smashed into the mud and a large deputy on top of his. From what she could see, they already had her man in handcuffs. Wrong move, assholes.

Removing her gun, well Ward's gun, from the waistband of her shorts, she quickly turned off the safety, and stepped out from behind a tree and pointing it straight at Shoupe's head. All eyes were on her, including Rafe's. An eerie silence washed over those who were meant to serve and protect.

"You've got two options here, Shoupe. One, you let Rafe go and forget any of this happened. You destroy every file, every piece of evidence, anything that pertains to Rafe. Option number two." She cocked the gun, the click echoing from the dead silence. "I don't think you're going to like option two. Two, I pull the trigger and put a bullet in your fucking skull. Then you can reunite with Peterkin. Sure, I might not be fast enough to shoot all of you, but you can bet your asses, I'm taking most of you down with me. Your choice, Shoupe."

She took a step closer, more than ready to shoot. The look in her eyes was unlike any they'd ever seen. The once sweet and innocent girl was gone, replaced with a stone cold killer. After all, she was just a girl in love, and that meant protecting the man she loved at all costs. Consequences be damned.

"You don't wanna do that. You're not like him. You're not a killer." Shoupe tried to plead with her, but his words were useless. He might as well have been a baby babbling.

"That's where you're wrong. Now, I'm going to count to three and if your buddy still doesn't back the fuck away from Rafe, he'll be the first to reunite with Peterkin. One."

"Think this through. Is he really worth losing your life over? I know you, you're a good girl. You've got a clean record. Can't you see what he's doing to you? He's poisoned you."

"Yes. Yes, he is worth losing my life over, and he's not fucking poisoning me! He just helped me realize who I truly am. Also, you don't know shit about me. None of you fucking do! Whatever blood is on his hands, I've got the same on mine. Two. Don't make me get to three, Shoupe. I'm warning you."

The deputy that had Rafe on the ground, dug his knee deeper into the Cameron boys back. "Get the fuck off me! Don't you dare fucking hurt her, Shoupe! I'll fucking kill you myself if anything happens to her!" Rafe yelled, trying his damnedest to fight off the deputy. Having his hands cuffed behind his back wasn't helping. He panicked, picturing the worst. He had to get free, had to save his angel.

"Three. Don't say I didn't warn you."

In the blink of an eye, she had the gun pointed at the deputy's head, finger on the trigger and ready to shoot.

"Don't blame me, love made me crazy. If it doesn't you ain't doing it right."

"WAIT! WAIT! DON'T SHOOT!" Shoupe screamed, looking between her and the deputy, his hands up in surrender. The look in her eyes said everything, she was going to kill the deputy. Love really had made her crazy. The other deputy's shot hesitant looks at one another, but slowly began to lower their weapons.

"Let the boy go." Shoupe instructed him, earning a look as though he'd lost his mind.

"He killed Peterkin! This bastard is going to rot behind bars." The deputy spat, digging his knee deeper into Rafe's back.

"I SAID LET HIM GO DAMNIT! OR THE GIRL WILL SHOOT! WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE BLOOD SPILLED!"

Doing as he was told, the deputy uncuffed Rafe, releasing his weight off the Cameron boys back, making Rafe smirk... That was until he saw the deputy reaching for his gun in his holster, eyes glued on the only girl that Rafe has ever loved. Oh no he didn't, nobody was shooting his girl.

In one swift motion, Rafe wrestled the deputy to the ground, grabbing his gun and hitting him in the head with it, hard enough to knock the big guy on his ass. With both of them still pointing their guns at the officer's, Rafe quickly made his way to her side.

Taking her hand, they laced their fingers together, both glancing over at each other.

"Together until the end, yeah?" Rafe whispered to her.

She nodded, squeezing his hand. "Together until the end, baby. I love you, Rafe."

"I love you too, angel. If we make it outta here, 'm taking you far away and we're gonna start that life we always talked about, yeah? Yeah. I promise."

Shots rang as the couple began shooting at the deputy's, trying their hardest to dodge the bullets as they shot back.

"Shit. Motherfucker shot me!" She hissed, grabbing her side as she put a bullet into the deputy's skull. Her side hurt like a motherfucker, the pain worse than anything she'd ever experienced. Still, she wasn't about to just lay down and die. No, they'd come this far, and this was not how her and Rafe's story ended.

"angel, you okay!? Talk to me, baby!" Rafe yelled out from behind a tree, trying to avoid the flying bullets that hit the bark above his head. The panic evident in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah, m'fine. Don't worry 'bout me."

Rafe could tell by the sound of her voice that she was lying. He knew her inside and out, and knew when she was lying. She wasn't fucking okay. He couldn't lose her. No, not her. Without thinking twice, he ran out from behind the tree, staying crouched down as he ran towards her, dodging bullets as he shot at the remaining officer's along the way. Shoupe was nowhere to be seen, meaning the pussy ran and left his deputy's to die. Not surprising.

As soon as Rafe reached her, he wrapped an arm around her, using his strength to keep her on her feet. The color in her face was fading, white tank top now soaked in crimson.

"We gotta go, baby. Gotta get you outta here and patched up. You're fucking crazy, you know that?"

He chuckled, shaking his head as he quickly planted a kiss on the side of her head, before scooping her up in his arms.

"Like I said, don't blame me love made me crazy."

[frecklystars]

i still feel absolutely fucking nothing for my f/os and im so depressed and i wanna die and my birthday is friday and i hate my birthday and i just. rahh. i wanna self ship again. thats it!! i just wanna self ship again thats literally all i want to do!! but instead ive been in and out of the hospital every couple of weeks bc i'm having so many panic attacks that make me feel like im going to die

i am so fucked up from all the bullshit i was put through these last 2 years that i cannot fucking function, i am so paranoid all the time that anyone who interacts with me is out to get me because they [redacted reasons i cannot publicly state]. it doesnt matter if ive known someone for 1 day or 10 years, i dont trust anyone online anymore. i dont trust anyone who's nice to me because so many times it was people with malicious intentions. i dont fucking trust any TF blogs, ive been blocking any TF blog who interacts with me On Sight from all the shit that ppl from that fandom put me through.

there's 600 new inbox messages now and i havent opened any of them. people are sending me dms every single day and i havent opened any of them. i hate that my distrust towards irl people has bled into self shipping and now i am just Too Depressed to self ship. it is my anniversary w/ a character who's supposed to be such a comfort to me today and i feel Nothing. driver used to be Everything to me. driver used to make me feel so comfortable and safe. i feel so numb when i look at my f/os, there is just nothing there. it is my birthday soon and i should be so proud of myself for fighting through all the bullshit my abuser has thrown at me but i feel Nothing. self shipping used to help me at least cope with the depression. i just want to have my comfort characters again. thats it. i wouldnt care how many people are trying to kill me or stalk me or attack me if i just had my f/os to help me cope thru all of it

i genuinely think i'd feel better if i tried to be online and make edits and draw more and interact with the sweet people in my inbox. i used to feel so so so much better when people would send me nice asks, F/O reassurance, fics, fanart, etc etc but at the same time i will see a nice ask and immediately believe "oh. this is a trap. this person is going to pretend to be nice to me, try to get closer, but it's a trap" based off of MULTIPLE traumatic events my abuser put me through the last 2 years. this is such an unhealthy mindset to have, to not trust anyone kind to me, and i wish i knew how to turn it off. ive never been paranoid like this, ever, until a series of events happened this entire last 2 years and i just. i cannot fucking trust anyone on this stupid website, my god, someone sends me "hi keri! how is your day?" and my brain is like "oh hey look out, that person is pretending to be nice to you but they're actually trying to harm you!!" i will look at a group of online friends i've had for OVER a DECADE and that paranoid voice in the back of my head who worries from experience "oh cool this person is after me now. this person is out to betray me. this person wants to hurt me. it doesnt matter if we've been best friends since childhood, this person absolutely is out to get me now"

i hate everything i was put through these last 2 years and especially these last few months, one day im gonna spill my guts and tell everyone what has been happening to me bc its so goddamn unfair what ive been put through day after day, and i am sick of letting all of it fester in me without being able to tell anyone whats going on. i dont even know if its still ongoing rn bc every time i think "oh, maybe it's over" it just fires back up again. the stalking, the harassing, dude dont even get me started on the fucking stalking, do you know how fucking Not Normal these people are who have been trying to physically harm me irl and online? do you know how fucking psychotic someone has to be to spend YEARS of their life trying to make me miserable when i dont even know these ppl, im just fucking sitting here? the stupidest goddamn shit possible. i have never met these ppl in my life but they're following the orders of someone else and just. being fucking insane. if you knew what someone was putting me through, what a large group of toxic disgusting people have been putting me through these last 2 years, you wouldn't even fathom how dangerous it's been and how shitty it's been. ive had to call the police on a few of these people. you have no fucking clue what i've been going through and how exhausting it is to feel so unsafe every single second that you're alive. this shit eats at me constantly. i don't get any peace of mind. i think one day this really will kill me but at least i won't have to deal with it anymore if i'm dead. and!! i hate that i have that mindset! i hate that every time i drive to work, i hope beyond hope that a car is going to obliterate me. that isnt normal!! i should not be hoping to die!! but genuinely i dont think im ever going to be safe ever again and im so tired of dealing with this fear every single second every single day for years. years!!!! every second!!! every single second im awake i am fucking stressed out of my goddamn mind!!!!

months ago, i queued so much driver stuff for today, and i almost want to delete all of it bc its so. useless. dude i feel Nothing for my f/os. i feel unsafe with my f/os because i feel so unsafe with 99% of the people i interact with online because of all the horrible things ive been put through all this time. it's all pointless. i dont know if im ever really going to come back to blogging regularly. i just wake up, i go to work, i have panic attacks and i throw up, and then i go to sleep. sometimes i come here to vent and then refill my queue, but what is the point of refilling my queue anymore tbh. i keep trying to go through the motions to see if i can reclaim self shipping one day and then i can just bounce back, but god its been several months and ijust cant do it. i cant wait for this to kill me, ic ant wait for this to finally make me snap bc im so so sick of going through this every day. im tired

whatever ill delete this later and it wont even matter lol what else is new. keri makes another vent post about feeling depressed and unsafe. fork found in kitchen or whatever

[blackstar5078]

EggCartonSMP Day 32!

(This happened during July 9th).

Summary under the cut!

Wither was immediately received by Bluebell when she woke up.

They recruited everyone who was around at the moment for the mission and prepared themselves before travelling to the Stronghold.

They found the place, along with a blood trail...

That led them to a cell, where Rox was imprisoned.

And said and done, they went back home.

Wither got to read a book that was next to Rox's bed.

Unfortunately, Wither had to go early that day, so she put Sky in charge of taking care of both Bluebell and Rox before saying goodbye to them.

Rox and Bluebell kept talking while she was gone, however.

(Next conversation was provided by Blue <3).

Bluebell: Maybe in a few days... we could prepare and all. Go together, safety in numbers, yeah?

Rox: Yeah, I dunno tho, I'm very tired.

Bluebell: Well, if you can't, it's okay, I can always lead the charge :3

Rox: I gotta catchup on whatever happened when I was gone, which by the looks of it, seems like a lot considering... but later.

Bluebell: You could say that, yeah... Vee again...

Rox: I thought things were sort of okay when I left? What happened?

Bluebell: Well, Vee and Magma played a ''prank'' on me... Um, they were invisible, with pumpkins on and they hovered over my bed... In a panic I attacked, not knowing who it was.

Rox: They did that even though u told everyone 'bout the recent guys over your bed sometimes?

Bluebell: Yeah... I know, right?

Rox: Are you okay?

Bluebell: No... Not really, Sky said Vee was looking for a ''blue creature'', I think I'm in danger.

Rox: They won't get you, I'll kill them if they do.

Bluebell: Even if they don't, I know you'll kill them anyway ;v;

Rox: What about the thing we found?

Bluebell: Magma told me it was broken?

Rox: I guess I'll have to look at it another day.

Bluebell: Vee's missing, so soon is a pretty good time, though... Wither did catch her spying on us yesterday...

Rox: You said before that Vee was invisible with the pumpkin, so that means they have access to invisibility.

Bluebell: Hmm... maybe. Oh, also that pumpkin at the front. I'm pretty sure she put it there when she went... weird.

Rox: What's the deal with the pumpkins anyway?

Bluebell: I don't really know everything... but I did see something odd when I was sneaking notes to Magma. She was using orange signs... and I saw Magma say ''why are you slowly turning to me when you placed that sign.'' She was getting dangerous even for Magma, so we helped him get away...

Rox: I never thought Vee would like, get Magma involved and stuff since, well, caretakers are supposed to be caring not the opposite?

Bluebell: Yeah, exactly! It's ridiculous.

Rox: Speaking of caretakers... Wither seemed like tired and very, uh, stressed. More than usual.

(Conversation was cut a bit here).

Rox: The endermen spies showed up a bit at the library when I was reading there...

Bluebell: We also saw one on the way there...

Rox: It's starting to make me uncomfortable, like... They knew where I was exactly, and kept their eyes on me.

(Conversation was cut a bit here again).

Rox: Right, so Vee is completely off the rails. What about everyone else?

Azura: I mean, I know I appeared around that time frame.

Rox: Okay, so I'm not hallucinating then, right?

Bluebell: No xD Meet the ghost that haunted my couch.

Rox: Ooh, that ghost. Today was a lot... I should probably clean myself, since, yeah.

Bluebell: That's a good idea, don't want an infection...

Rox: Thank you all for coming to help me. Though, I am worried, since all those monsters appeared out of nowhere, and the library was burnt down.

Bluebell: That is odd, yeah... Well, if you need a quiet place to sleep, you know where it's very quiet there.

Rox: Alright.

Bluebell: When you're feeling a bit better you should see what Sky taught me :3 He did a Create class the other day.

Rox: I MISSED IT??? D: Well, oh well xD I do wanna see what you've done with that knowledge,

Bluebell: Whenever you'd like, you should wash up first, though. Also, Wither met a wither for the first time.

Rox: Oh, how'd uh, that go...?

Bluebell: I don't think she took it well, it was around then she started looking tired...

Rox: Yeah, I noticed that... she looks very tired. More tired than when the village thing happened.

Bluebell: Yeah... Frick, did the 2nd time happen while you were gone?

Rox: SECOND TIME?

Bluebell: So, we went with Sky and Karl to the safe Spooky City Sky has been working on. I forgot that blue fire was everywhere down there...

Rox: Did something similar to last time happen? Did... anyone die?

Bluebell: No no no, not this time. Lillian and I found her hidden under her village, knocked out...

Rox: Okay, so it wasn't as big as a reaction as the first time... Phew. Though, I guess it makes sense since it was triggered by the Soulfire instead of an accident. Well, that's a lot I missed, jeez... I'm guessing there's more, but I'll ask you another day, I'm very tired and sore...

Bluebell: Yeah, good idea. Get some rest and we'll check out my thing, I'll probably just toss my journal for the rest xD

---

Slowly but surely catching up with posts kdjsndks.

Creeedits:

Bluebell: @bluefoxproductions

Rox: @iglooshoe

Sky: @sky-bee42

Azura: @azurainthegrave

Karl: @itskarlhere

o/

[angie-long-legs]

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄!

whether it be melodies that give you inspiration for your muse or songs that get you into the writing mood — pick 10 songs you find to give you the urge, the drive, or the creativity to write for your muse!

Kill V. Maim by Grimes

I got in a fight, I was indisposed, I was in despite all the wicked prose, but I'm only a man, and I do what I can [...] B-E-H-A-V-E, arrest us! Italiana mobster looking so precious, B-E-H-A-V-E, never more, you gave up being good when you declared a state of war! I don't behave, I don't behave, oh eh, are you going to the party? Are you going to the show? [...] Oh, the fire hurts alright... the people touch it, I can't touch it, even though it's mine

Butterflies... by Slayyyter

Crystal blue in my head, butterflies, now all dead. Tears for you, crack the whip, heart in two (heart in two), in your bed... Candy hearts in my eyes, you brought me back to life, star crossed love in the nighttime, then you pushed me aside again (Ow!)... I feel sick 'bout the things you put me through, once again I'm not holdin' out for you, I won't watch, now your life is invisible, what the fuck ever made you so miserable?

Born Slippy (Nuxx) by Underworld

Drive boy, dive boy, dirty numb angel boy, in the doorway boy, she was a lipstick boy, she was a beautiful boy, and tears boy, and all in your inner space boy, you had hand girls boy and steel boy, you had chemicals boy, I've grown so close to you [...] Let your feelings slip boy, but never your mask boy

Circus by Britney Spears

There's only two types of people in the world, the ones that entertain and the ones that observe... well, I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl [...] I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins, spotlight on me and I'm ready to break, I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage, better be ready, hope that you feel the same, all eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus

Celebrity Skin by Hole

Oh, make me over, I'm all I wanna be, a walking study in demonology [...] No second billing 'cause you're a star now, oh, Cinderella, they aren't sluts like you... Beautiful garbage, beautiful dresses, can you stand up or will you just fall down? [...] When I wake up in my makeup, have you ever felt so used up as this? It's all so sugarless, hooker, waitress, model, actress, oh, just go nameless! Honeysuckle, she's full of poison, she obliterated everything she kissed, now she's fading somewhere in Hollywood, I'm glad I came here with your pound of flesh... You want a part of me? Well, I'm not selling cheap

Drunk Walk Home by Mitski

I will retire to the Salton Sea at the age of 23, for I'm starting to learn I may never be free, but though I may never be free, fuck you and your money, I'm tired of your money... And I sit on the curb 'cause it's the prettiest night, with no one else in sight... You know I wore this dress for you, these killer heels for you... See the dark, it moves with every breath of the breeze

Panic Attacks in Paradise by Ashnikko

Panic attacks in paradise, piña coladas, I'm terrified, I swear I'm not cryin', the sun's just bright, I'm havin' the best time of my life! Panic attacks in paradise, hyperventilating under candy skies, tellin' myself that this is fine, I'm havin' the best time of my life... It's a big joke, ha ha, I love laughin', it's a big hoax, your self-help happy, 'cause I'm okay, I'm pure propane on an open flame, watch me blow up

Addiction by Doja Cat

I am addicted (a little), under the influence (a little), and it makes me want to dance (a little), an itch I just can't scratch, addiction... I've got such a pretty body, looks prettier when I'm a mess, and I just like to call him daddy 'cause the first one he up and left, and you can relate to broken girls, I've been a day without it, I'm proud of myself, baby can you break the curse? I'm so gone I believe in magic

Judas by Lady Gaga

When he calls to me, I am ready, I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs, forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain, even after three times, he betrays me [...] I couldn't love a man so purely, even prophets forgave his goofy way, I've learned love is like a brick, you can build a house or sink a dead body [...] Ew! In the most Biblical sense, I am beyond repentance; fame hooker, prostitute, wench vomits her mind!

Bag of Bones by Mitski

I'm all used up, pretty boy, over and over again, my nail colors are wearing off... See my hands, pretty boy, what do they tell you? 'Cause I've looked down at them not knowing why, and after everything's done and I'm all undone, you can hear my high heels walking on, clickity-clacking through the night; I'm carrying my bag of bones [...] I know my room is a mess, over and over again I tell myself I'll clean tomorrow; just move the stuff up off the bed and do what you came here to do, but first open up a window for me and let the cool air in, feel the night slip in as it softly glides along your back, and I hope you leave right before the sun comes up so I can watch it alone

tagged by: @hazbinned tyty this was so much fun!!

tagging: @top-shelf-tender @arcanepactguile @sirserpentine

[slut4menig]

care for you || C Leclerc

Summary: Charles finds out about your mental health almost a year into dating

Charles X fem! Reader

Warnings: Bulimia, self harm, body dysmorphia, mentions of medication, panic attacks

Genre: angst, fluff

If you are dealing with this you are not alone, contact someone, a therapist, your legal guardian, teachers, friends, you don’t have to suffer in silence, you’re loved. This fic is purely to comfort others struggling. If you’re triggered do NOT read

“Mon amour, do you want to come out tonight with max and I for dinner? Kelly might be there” your boyfriend of 8 months had looked at you

“I’m okay, I had a big lunch go have fun” I whispered, kissing Charles on his cheek smiling as he put on his cologne.

“You sure? Make sure to treat yourself whilst I’m gone” he kissed me on the lips and clutched my face as he walked out.

I looked down at a notification on my phone, it was from Instagram, a post of Charles and I together. I scanned the post as I looked at the comments.

“She’s such a slut she doesn’t deserve Charles”

“can she kill herself already”

“She’s so fat”

The last comment made me feel Ill, I’ve been trying so hard to get the perfect body. I cant do this anymore, I don’t want to do it anymore.

CHARLES POV

As I walked into the restaurant and spotted max I also spotted Kelly placed down in a seat next to him the couple smiling at me

“Hi guys! Sorry y/n couldn’t make it she said she’s had massive lunch, she went out with you right Kelly?” I questioned

“Oh um she didn’t eat lunch? She said she’d had a big breakfast” I raised and eye brow, she was at mine for breakfast, she didn’t want to eat cause she was running late for a meeting

Suddenly I felt ill, had she been starving herself? No, she can’t be, she ate lunch with me yesterday. I felt my breath hitch.

Max Kelly and I had dinner together and it took like what seemed forever. I said my goodbyes and hopped in my car. My mind was racing. I couldn’t think straight.

Was y/n okay? I don’t know maybe she just wasn’t hungry.

I opened the door to our apartment, she wasn’t in the living room, food wrappers and containers were left around the kitchen, loads of them. I opened the bedroom door, still empty. That’s when I saw it, the most perfect girl doing something so horrible it made my stomach drop.

Y/N POV

After reading those comments something inside me just broke, I kept scrolling, it was addicting but it was all people just telling me what a horrible girl I am.

I am trying, i am trying to be perfect but it’s so hard, it really is.

Out of nowhere I find myself raiding my fridge eating everything in sight I can, I found myself indulging in cake, biscuits, pasta, cookies, everything. It lasted for hours too. The worst part is I wasn’t even thinking about the consequences

Tears welling up in my eyes, my throat close up as I sank down onto the kitchen floor, cookie in hand, sobbing.

I took a walk of shame to the bathroom. I stuck my fingers down my throat and sobbed, the burning throat in the back of my feeling. Feeling worthless until my stomach felt empty.

“Y/n? Mon Chérie? Where are -“ I saw Charles, mouth agape at the sight he was looking at. My bloodied wrists, vomit in the toilet, chocolate around my face, crying my eyes out

“Ay”, he ran over rushing to the floor, I grabbed his shirt as my mascara stained it.

“Y/n you cannot do this to yourself it is not healthy” he whispered hugging me tight as I let out a sniff in response

“I’m sorry” I quivered “no you’re not, why would you be sorry y/n. Don’t be sorry” he pulled me even closer

“Let’s talk about this, go sit on the bed.” My heartbeat rose, I don’t really know if I wanna talk about it

“I’ll be back” is he planning our breakup? Does he think I’m too mentally Ill for him, oh my god, he’s going to leave me

He came back with a self aid kit in hand, sitting down on the bed with me grabbing my wrists

“Is it okay if I lift up the jumper?” He asked softly as I nodded

He grabbed disinfectant, cleaned them and wrapped a bandage around it.

“Mon amour, why are you doing this to yourself? Please be honest with me, have you eaten today?” He held my hand staring directly into my eyes.

“Yes…” I bit my lip waiting for his response, “throwing it up doesn’t count as eating” he looked down at my wrists

“Then no but I promise I’ll get better “ i lied

“No, not without help, you’re so perfect mon chèrie, I love you so much, you’re so pretty and kind” he cuddled into me

“It needs to stop, please promise me, I will pay for your therapist and you can tell me when you’re dealing with this stuff.” He looked at me and pleaded, a lot

I let out a laugh and nodded my head.

“I love you, I thought you would leave me” I kissed him

“Never, not in my life would I even think about that, 8 months in and I can already see what our kids will look like” we both had a laugh

“Why, can I ask what triggered it? If you don’t mind” he looked at me

“Well um Fans of yours have been making comments and I just-“

“Mon amour, who am I dating?” He raised an eyebrow

“Me…”

“Right, so those fake fans can fuck themselves, I’m not dating them am I? I picked you cause you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever seen” he said so calmly

“I love you so so much” I made out with him my hands lost in his soft brown hair

“I’m glad, cause I care for you”

[winchester-girl67]

Don’t Say A Word (Part 13)

Summary: Y/N quickly realizes the very real severity of her choices when she comes face-to-face with Auburn’s biggest fan, Dick Roman.

Masterlist

Pairing: Bodyguard!Dean x reader

Square: Kissed to keep quiet @spnfluffbingo​

Word Count: 1,794

Warnings: language, angst, mistaken identity, kidnapping, mature themes, scary situation, Dick being a super creep, talks of him wanting to keep her against her will indefinitely, brief mention of breeding (having a family together), manhandling, mention of a knife, minor panic attack, arguing, pining, jealousy, slow burn, kissing, some fluff at the end

A/N: Uh-oh. Written for @spnfluffbingo​.

_____

You worried, wondering why Sam hadn't stopped them from taking you. Though, you supposed if he had, his cover would've been blown and there'd be a whole other set of problems on your hands. You just hoped that he made it out of there and called for backup. Meanwhile, you took comfort in knowing that Dean still had a tracker on you.

It was dark when Dick finally put the car in park and ripped off your blindfold. He escorted you out of the car and towards a modern house, in the middle of nowhere, that could only be described as a physical endowment of wealth in architectural form; probably compensating for something, you were sure. There wasn't much for gardens but the grass was flawless, almost like the lawn had been carpeted.

He walked you up the path to the twin front doors, unlocking them and dragging you inside. The house almost looked bigger on the inside, if that was possible. Dick took you by the arm and led you up the floating staircase to the second floor.

"What exactly are you planning on doing with me?" You asked, struggling against his hold on you.

"Showing you how a woman of your beauty and talent should be treated... like a princess." He whispered the last part in your ear and you shuddered at his stale breath meeting the skin of your neck.

You just couldn't escape that term. You didn't even find it endearing, Dean certainly never used it as such. And you didn't feel any different about it now when Dick said it. Except for the fact that it creeped you out more.

"And what if I want to leave?" You questioned, Dick leading you down a long tile hallway.

"I'd advise against it."

"I have a boyfriend," you lied, seeming how he wasn't actually your boyfriend.

"Yes. I know. However, a better term for him would be leech." He wasn't entirely wrong.

"I love him."

"You'll learn to love me too." He stated without a doubt in his voice.

"Never gonna fucking happen." You seethed through your teeth.

"Then you'll be my trophy and I'll keep you on display. Just know that the choice is yours and that I can give you anything you want. If you choose correctly. Choose me." He explained, pulling you into one of the many rooms.

You were surprised to see that it was a bedroom, with what appeared to be a large ensuite and a walk-in closet, stocked full from what you could see. Probably all clothes in Auburn's size too, from what you were gathering from the situation you found yourself in.

"I take it, this isn't about the ransom for you."

"Did you ever think it was?" He laughed, snapping the zip ties around your wrists with a pocket knife. "I have more than enough money, I want someone to share my life with. That's where you come in. And maybe in the future we can talk about having a family of our own."

"Touch me and I'll kill you." You threatened, rubbing your sore wrists and stepping away from him.

"I like that fire," he chuckled and smiled. "This will be your bedroom, for now. I may be holding you against your will, but I won't force myself on you, if that's what you're thinking. You will come around on your own... eventually."

"And if I don't?"

"You will," he nodded.

"Wanna bet? Creep." You squinted up at him and crossed your arms over your chest as an attempt to cover yourself from his view.

"I am not a creep!" He hissed, grabbing your face and smushing your cheeks between his fingers. You fisted his shirt and scratched at his chest. "Now wipe that shit off your face and change into the outfit I left on your bed. Then come downstairs. We're having chicken for dinner."

With that, Dick left you alone in the bedroom, but not without noting that he'd come looking for you if you weren't downstairs in twenty minutes. Your breathing picked up as things started to sink in and you felt dizzy. You backed into the corner of the room between the bed and wall, ignoring the silky red dress laid out on the end of the bed. You sat on the ground and curled up into a ball, hugging your knees to your chest. Ignoring the world around you, not noticing the tears streaming from your eyes; until a hand reached out and touched your cheek.

"Sh-h-h..." Dean hushed, placing his palm over your mouth when you started and whipped your head up. "You're alright, Y/N."

"No. No, I'm not alright." You whisper shouted back, shoving away his hand. You noted the open window behind him which he probably climbed up to and crawled through. "He wants to keep me here like a fucking trophy on a shelf. Either that or breed me. Would you be alright if someone gave you that ultimatum?"

"I won't let that happen." Dean promised, brushing your hair back from your face and wiping the smudged mascara from under your left eye with his thumb. "This wasn't such a bright idea after all. Huh, sweetheart?"

"I'm sorry," you apologized sarcastically and stood up, Dean following your queue and towering over you. But you glared up at him with fire in your eyes as your fear shifted to anger. "I was trying to take charge of my life in a situation where I had zero control, until Sam came along. I was trying to do something to help, not just myself, but him and whoever else falls onto this guy's radar in the future."

"Yeah, well, while you've been trying to save the world, I've been trying to save you. Shit, I still am even after I said I was done. What does that tell you?"

"I don't know, you're a sucker for pain and rejection?" You shrugged, throwing up your hands to stress your annoyance.

"There's the Y/N I know. I'll give you one thing, you bounce back fast. Feisty and stubborn as hell. Don't ever change." Dean smirked and you couldn't tell if he was being genuine, it seemed out of character if he was.

"That's because I remembered the main reason I agreed to this was to get away from you. That, and Sam doesn't treat me like a baby, he makes me feel strong." You argued, brushing your hair back over your shoulders and puffing out an irritated breath. "I may be stuck in a room of an obsessive multi-millionaire's mansion, but at least it beats sitting in a tiny cabin with four walls and you, waiting for someone else to do the heavy lifting."

"I bet you feel really strong right about now. So, what's the plan, princess?" Dean asked dryly, furrowing his brow. A look you matched. "That's why you kissed him, isn't it? To get some sort of power trip."

"Screw you."

"You're not my type," he quipped and grinned.

"You are so fucking frustrating, do you know that?"

"Right back at ya, sweetheart."

"Why do you always do this?" You growled, trying to keep your voice down and feeling like you wanted to start ripping your hair out. "I do something you don't like and you throw up your shields and deflect it back at me."

"I only treat you like a child, because you act like one." Dean explained with a pointed tone.

"See, right there. Deflecting again." You accused, pointing your finger at him. "Can't you be open with me for once. Tell me why that kiss really bothered you. Or, why you're here when you don't want to be, you could've just told Sam where I was."

"I guess it's a good thing lover boy's right outside then, getting into position with a shit ton of backup. He tasked me with keeping you out of harm's way. So you guys can continue your little make-out session when he gives us the all clear. Until then, you're stuck with me." Dean ordered, crossing his arms over his chest like you were about to fight him on it.

"Oh my god. When are you going to get over it? I kissed him, big fucking deal. I thought for a minute I might like Sam but I felt nothing, no spark, no connection, no fucking point in continuing this conversation." You said, having had enough of his jealousy when he didn't even fucking like you to begin with. "There is no, me and Sam."

"Good for you," he glared.

"Such an asshole," you breathed angrily to yourself, clenching your fists at your sides.

The both of you nearly at the ends of your ropes now. Dean was staring at you like he was either going to kill you or kiss you and you scrunched up your face, unsure of how to read him for the first time.

You huffed and looked deep into his eyes, "Tell me something true for once. You owe me that much..." You got frustrated after a moment of his silent staring, "You're just so fucking closed off-"

Dean kissed you. He was fucking kissing you. And you wanted him to.

It was different than with Sam. You couldn't think straight for one, and you were actively pulling Dean closer by the collar of his shirt. His lips electrified yours and he cradled your cheek with his palm, your heart fluttering every time he brushed your cheek with his thumb. It all happened so fast, a shiver coursing through your veins when you broke the kiss to catch your breath.

"This isn't really the place or time for this, De-"

Cocky bastard kissed you again, chastely pecking your lips before you pushed him away.

"Shouldn't we-” He cut you off. His nose smushed into your cheek when he attacked your lips once more. You pushed him away again, only a fraction of an inch, "-run?" You panted.

"Sam said, to keep you here-" He paused to capture your mouth with his, pulling away and wetting his lips just as you were starting to melt into him. You were pretty sure his hand on your waist was the only reason you were still standing at the moment. "-keep you safe."

Dean pressed his forehead to yours, staring deep into your Y/E/C eyes. He wasn't judging you this time, you could tell, he was searching your eyes for answers just like you were with his. You didn't know what the hell just happened or why you wanted it to happen again and again, until you were laying on his chest naked and satiated. It was primal almost how he made you forget about everything else and you had to admit, it felt amazing.

_________________________

A/N: Read part 14 here

_________________________ 


Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278 @laycblack @thoughts-and-funnies @mrsjenniferwinchester @crustycheeks @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @lyarr24 @suckitands33  @eliwinchester99 @yvonneeeee @igotmajordaddyissues @djs8891

Forever SPN: @hobby27

Don't Say A Word: @lacilou @mlovesstories @spn730015 @hunni-bunny @ria132love @fmstafford  @spideysimpossiblegirl @houseforwhores @siospins2 @globetrotter28 @nt-multi-fandom @maggiegirl17 @iprobablyshipit91 @tigergirllolipop @stoneyggirl2 @mimaria420 @muhahaha303

[realpontchartrain]

Just wanted to say yeah I'm not voting either. There's too many nuances with things and I am very stupid and struggle to understand unless it is written out plainly. And the intense morals surrounding voting and stuff with this election has me just shutting down mentally. Especially since I don't know any politics in my state either. I get voting is important and stuff. But America is also so fucked as is. And everything is complicated and I can't even figure out how to take care of myself or cook. I don't trust myself at all especially with state politics in my area. And there's so many different things different people say and what's okay and what's not okay. It confuses me and stresses me out and I just shut down. And I can't ever tell when someone is intentionally being a bitch about voting stuff or not so it also triggers my ocd.

So like. You're not alone in not voting. And the intense moral debate over it as some black and white thing is exhausting and just triggering for someone like me. It's genuinely nice not to see someone so up in arms over it. Cause everything with it has been giving my panic attacks and autistic shut downs. I am stupid and do not understand and cannot tell when someone has good intentions or is knowledgeable or not so I get confused easily.

This has been sitting on my conscience and bugging my ocd for so long so seeing you not voting made me wanna just vent. I feel incoherent so that's my rant. Woo. Voting is confusing and stressful and I hate this country. I'm just tired.

Something else I never got around to answering, but yeah. I mean hey, i’m all for people voting. I only just found out earlier that felons can technically vote in Texas so long as we’re not on parole/probation, and I’m still not because I have my personal beliefs and reasons for not even wanting to bother. I wholeheartedly support Kamala Harris, because of course I do, and I know she’s going to win and that’s a good thing. But I also understand you here somewhat. I never liked the purity culture and shit surrounding politics and voting. You saw how people jumped on my ass when I said that I wasn’t going to, even if I technically can to my new knowledge, as if me not voting is THE most problematic shit about me. Absolutely fucking ridiculous how downright stupid some people can be when it comes to having to choose between voting for the same two candidates just in two different colors.

People scream and cry and bemoan about how important it is to vote… but only if you’re voting for who THEY want you to vote for. I joked around and said that i’d vote for Trump because me (and several others i know) said that it’s about time we had a felon president to shine some light on the rights and shit of people with criminal records, and suddenly my vote doesn’t mean shit anymore, even if it was just a joke. If this is a free country, then I’m free to not vote for anyone. And if I did vote, I would also be free to vote for Trump’s left testicle if I wanted to. This is why I don’t engage in politics or want shit to do with voting. I frankly do not care who ends up in office because this country STILL let Trump run it despite the popular vote for Hillary, and the fact that this man didn’t have any prior experience in politics whatsoever before he even ran. And this was right after we elected our first black president. And then, this same country turned around and shuffled the rules right in front of our FACES to see to it that Trump would be immune from any sort of legal consequences for what he did as an “official act”.

You can also add on the fact that i’m a psychopath who doesn’t care about nobody but myself, therefore i’m doing everyone a fucking favor by keeping my vote to myself, and anyone who has a problem with that can simply kill themselves, like i don’t care. Vote if y’all want, I got better shit to do and think about in my life now lmfao

[study-coffee-chicago]

Trifecta from Hell (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)

A/N: I’m finally posting this here because I got my laptop back! And, it’s unedited because at the time I posted it on Wattpad, my laptop was still being fixed and I hate writing/editing on my phone.

Anyway, sorry it's taken me so long to update! I haven't been watching PD since Jay left, so I didn't really have any ideas for a bit!

But, I have some now and have an idea for a fluffy Thanksgiving and Christmas imagine, so keep an eye out for that in the coming weeks!

Anyway, please remember to reblog and comment!

Enjoy!

Today had been fine...at least it had been until you got out of work and were stopped by one of your coworkers practically screaming at you. And, this wasn't where you typically worked, they were just really short staffed, so you were constantly pulled over here. But, you didn't have access to things that their normal staff did—you worked in mental health, so the most important thing you needed access to were updates on clients...which you didn't since you weren't this places full time staff—and since you were here so much, they were starting to think of you as their normal staff.

But, without access to everything, mistakes were bound to be made and you were the one getting blamed.

And this was what you had ranted to Jay about on your way home.

You were still crying after you hung up the phone and knew you were on the verge of a panic attack. But, you were on the highway and you couldn't easily just pull over.

So, you used a coping skill that you hadn't used since middle school: you dug your fingernails into the skin on the inner part of your wrist. Hard.

You removed your right hand from your left wrist—your left hand still being the one holding the steering wheel during this—and put it wheel and once again drove with both hands. But, you kept crying. So, you continued the process until you were just short of making your wrist bleed.

***

When you got home, you told Jay about your wrist and assured him you hadn't cut yourself, just dug your nails into your skin. And then, well, you broke down.

"Everyone fucking leaves!" you yelled. "What's the point of being here anymore? All I do is work! I have no friends, except for like two, Emma texted and told me she didn't want to be friends anymore! Everyone fucking leaves, Jay! And—" Your voice cracked. "Maybe it's me! Maybe I'm the fucking problem! Maybe it would be better if I was dead!"

Jay stood up. "You know you don't mean that. And, all the stuff with Emma, something else had to have been going on. You just have to get out more, make some friends. The pandemic definitely hasn't helped because you didn't get a full college experience, but—"

"What's the point, Jay? If everyone just leaves, why am I wasting my fucking time? I don't wanna be here anymore!" you cried as hot tears rolled down your face.

Jay opened his arms. "C'mere."

"No." You turned. "I'm going to bed."

Hopefully I won't wake up you thought to yourself.

"Y/N—"

"I said I'm going to bed!" you yelled and grabbed your backpack and made your way to your room.

Then, you cried yourself to sleep.

***

That was how you found yourself sitting next to Jay in his truck as he drove to the district the next morning.

"I'm 22, Jay. Just let me stay home," you pleaded for the billionth time that morning.

"After yesterday, me and Will feel it's safer if you're not by yourself."

"C'mon, I'm not gonna kill myself," you told him.

"After yesterday, well, me and Will aren't so sure."

"I just wanna sleep."

"And you can," Jay told you. "On the couch in the break room."

"Ugh." You leaned your head back in your seat in frustration.

When you pulled into the district, you figured it was better for you to walk inside because right now, you wouldn't put it past Jay to physically force you out of the truck and carry you inside.

"Chuckles Jr," Trudy said from the desk as she put the phone back in her cradle when you and Jay entered. "What brings you here?"

"I'm here against my will," you told her and Jay just rolled his eyes.

"She's here because it's safer for her," Jay said.

At this, Trudy's eyes widened. "Safer how? What's going on Halstead? You know between me and your sergeant upstairs, we have eyes everywhere."

"It's nothing like that," Jay said, assuming Trudy meant that an old case or collar was coming back to bite him in the ass. "She's just got some personal stuff going on, so I brought her here to keep an eye on her." And with that, Jay started walking towards the stairs, and you started following, still sulking.

"Sensitive case, Halstead. Y/N can't be up there. Intelligence and yours truly only," Trudy said, causing Jay to turn and look at her and you to throw your head back in frustration.

"Sarge, can you watch her for the day?" Jay asked.

"She's an adult, Halstead. Can't she look after herself?" Trudy asked, throwing him some of her signature sass.

"Thank you!" you said and pointed a hand towards Trudy. Finally, someone was on your side. It was like a breath of fresh air after arguing with Jay all morning.

"Can I talk to you?" Jay asked Trudy. He looked around at all the officers milling about. "Privately?" She nodded and the two moved to the door of the office. Jay gave you a pointed look and nodded to the bench before him. "You move from this bench, I will put you on a psych hold."

You went and sat down on the bench and Jay heard you mutter something about how fear tactics don't help in these kinds of situations, but, for once, he figured it was best to ignore you.

***

Ten minutes later, Trudy and your brother came out of the office.

"C'mon, kiddo. I'm bringing you to 51. Figured it would be much more fun for you to hang out with them than to sit behind that desk with me all day."

"Lucky me," you replied sarcastically.

"Hey, watch the--"

"Halstead, go upstairs and do your job. I'll take it from here," Trudy said, effectively cutting him off.

"Don't do anything stupid, Y/N," he told you. You huffed and rolled your eyes and then he shook his and turned around and jogged upstairs and into Intelligence.

"Ever ridden in a patrol car?" Trudy asked. You shook your head. "Then today's your lucky day because me and you are gonna go grab the best on from the CPD lot and we might even stop for donuts, give you the full beat cop experience."

"Lucky me," you said sarcastically and shrugged.

Trudy just looked at you and pursed her lips, trying to figure out what had you so down.

***

"Listen kid," Trudy said when the two of you got back in the patrol car with a box of two dozen donuts and coffee for you and her. "I'm not giving you a donut until you tell me your side of the story. I've heard your brother's, but I wanna hear yours. What happened at work that made you feel this way?"

You sighed. "It's not just work. It's everything."

"Work was just the tip of the iceberg then, huh?"

"Yeah," you said feeling yourself get choked up. "It's just- everyone leaves, so what's the point of trying to make friends, you know?"

"Kid, when you're as old I am, I can tell you one thing, if people aren't meant to stay in your life, they won't. But, maybe try hanging out with Ritter and Gallo and Violet at 51. They're close to your age, right?"

"A few years older," you answered. "They'll probably just look at me like Jay's little sister like everyone in Intelligence does."

"Hey, you'll never know unless you try."

"I guess," you shrugged. "Can I have a donut now?"

***

When you walked into the firehouse, you appeared fine, maybe a little sad, but fine nonetheless.

But, when you saw the number of firefighters in the common room, you started to become hyper aware of your surroundings and your breath caught in your throat.

"Hey, mini Halstead!" Kelly exclaimed from where he was grabbing breakfast. "What brings you here? C'mon, come get some breakfast, kid!"

You just looked him and then quickly shook your head.

"Gotta go to the bathroom," you said quickly and then turned around and calmly walked out of the common room and then speed walked down the hallway and into the bathrooms.

You could do this...there weren't that many people...there were, what? Four on squad, two paramedics, which made six. Then there was Chief Boden which made seven. Then there was Stella, which made eight...then there was—

Fuck! Who were you kidding? This was way too many people! And Jay thought this was a good idea?

You rested your head against the bathroom stall that you had locked yourself in and then pulled out your phone and sent a text to Jay with shaking hands.

There's too many people here. I hate you

He responded within thirty seconds.

Love you, too. Just making sure you're safe.

If your phone was indestructible, you would've thrown it on the ground.

You pocketed your phone and leaned your head back on the stall door.

Fuck.

This was going to be a long day.

***

You didn't know how much time had passed, but it hadn't been a lot, probably only five or ten minutes, when you heard footsteps coming towards the stall you were currently standing in.

"Y/N? It's just me," you heard Stella say. "Trudy told me, Kelly, and Boden what's going on. Can you please come out?" You didn't. "Can you at least say something? So I know you're okay?"

You sighed as frustration bubbled up in your body. That's what they all wanted to know: that you were okay, that you were safe.

You flung the door open. "I'm okay! I'm alive, aren't I? That's all you guys want, isn't it? Just to make sure I'm alive even though I'm fucking miserable?!"

Stella quickly backtracked and slammed the door to the bathrooms closed and then stood in front of it, effectively blocking your path to get out of here.

"Hey, I know feelings are something you Halsteads have a hard time expressing--at least your brothers do--, but I know you're hiding something under all that anger, Y/N," Stella said gently but firmly.

"You- you do?" You definitely weren't expecting that.

"I do. Now, I'll stay here while you calm down, and then how about we go kick Kelly out of his office so that I can braid your hair? Does that sound okay?"

"Really?" you asked. "Don't you have Lieutenant stuff to do?"

Stella waved her hand. "That stuff can wait a few hours. Plus, I'm still waiting on my office to get finished, so I can always use that as an excuse if I need to. Now, take some deep breaths, splash some water on your face, and I am going to give you the best damn braids in the whole CFD."

***

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" Stella asked when she was halfway through braiding your hair. The feeling of her fingers in your hair made you relax. It reminded you of when Erin used to do your hair for school picture day when you still didn't know your way around a straightener yet.

"I dunno," you answered truthfully.

"You don't know if you wanna tell me or you don't know what's going on?" Stella asked as she continued braiding.

"A little bit of both, I guess."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Doubt it. Unless you can make some friends for me appear out of thin air."

"You'd be surprised at what I can do, Y/N."

***

"Violet!" Stella yelled fifteen minutes later when she told you she needed to go dig some more hair ties out of her locker...which was a lie.

"Yeah?" Violet asked and looked up from where she and Brett were watching an episode of House Hunters: International on her phone.

"Do you and Brett mind making a supply run to Med or something in like half an hour? It's just that when I was braiding Y/N's hair, she said something about wanting more friends. And, I figured going on an ambulance ride with you two would be more friendly that taking her in one of the trucks, so—"

"We'll take her," Sylvie chimed in. "Maybe even stop for some food on the way back. Everyone needs a friend once in awhile."

"As long as the place has better coffee than here," Violet said.

"Thanks, you guys. You're the best."

Stella started to walk off to go finish your hair, when Gallo and Ritter turned around from where they were making sandwiches at the counter.

"Everything okay with Y/N? Anything we can do to help?" Ritter asked.

"I think she just needs some friends," Stella said.

"Well, lucky for her, me and Ritter are some of the friendliest people you know," Gallo chimed in, causing Ritter to roll his eyes.

"What he means is, we'll figure something out. We all know how it feels go be lonely sometimes."

"Just don't do anything too crazy," Stella warned. "I'm looking at you, Gallo."

Then, Stella left the common room and went to her locker to retrieve some more hair ties and then went back into Severide's office to finish braiding your hair.

***

"Want some coffee?" Gallo asked when you walked back into the common room after Stella braided your hair.

"Gallo, this stuff tastes like tar. Nobody likes this. Don't poison the poor girl!" Ritter exclaimed, which caused a ghost of a smile to appear on your lips. But, it disappeared as quickly as it came.

"Well, lucky for her, we are going to grab some supplies from Med and she is just the person we want for a ride along," Violet said cheerfully.

"And we're stopping for food and coffee on the way back," Brett said. "61 is officially out of service for the next two hours."

"You really want me to go?" you asked. "Because I get carsick easily."

Brett waved her hand in dismissal. "We won't be turning on any lights and sirens...and we'll make Violet sit in the back."

"Rude!" Violet exclaimed. "But, let's get going. We're only out of service for a couple hours."

When you left the paramedics, Gallo turned to Ritter.

"I have the perfect idea," he said.

"Oh, no," Ritter groaned.

"What oh no? My ideas are great, thank you very much."

"Yeah? Says who?" Gallo said nothing. "My point exactly."

"Do you want to hear my idea or not?"

"Fine. What's your idea, Gallo?"

"Instead of going to Molly's tomorrow night, maybe you, me, and Violet can meet up at my apartment and drink and play some poker or something? And we can invite Y/N? I just know that when that guy jumped off that ledge when I thought I had a save, that I needed some friends. Sounds like she does, too."

Ritter smiled. "That's actually a great idea, Gallo."

***

A few hours later

It was around 7pm and everyone had gone out on a call. You were just sitting in the common room on the couch reading.

Then, you went to the bathroom and planned on coming straight back to the couch and your book, but your body had other plans.

You looked down and immediately relief washed over you.

You had gotten your period.

Sure, you had been diagnosed with depression and it was the beginning of winter in Chicago, which meant some seasonal depression sprinkled in there, but now you had a reason. An in-your-face reason that you were feeling this way: you had been PMS-ing.

You made your way out of the bathroom to grab a pad or tampon that you had thrown in your bag for emergencies and then went back in the bathroom and finished up.

When you came back out, you saw that 81 was back from the call.

"Pssst, Stella," you hissed.

She turned and walked over to you. "What's up?"

"Do you by any chance have some tampons?" you whispered.

"I do. Follow me."

***

Jay picked you up half an hour later.

"Have fun?" he asked.

"A bit," you answered. "Me and Sylvie and Violet went and got lunch and coffee. We went to this really good sandwich place."

Jay smiled. "Good. I'm glad you're doing better."

"Yeah, I got my period so it all makes sense now."

Jay had learned long ago that you did not care if he and Will knew you were on your period. And, while Jay was weirded out by it at first, he quickly realized that he couldn't be because he was the one responsible for buying you pads and tampons.

"Do we need to stop at the store?" Jay asked.

"No. But it all makes sense now! That's why I was depressed. Or it was the trifecta from hell."

"The what from hell?" Jay asked.

"Trifecta," you answered. "Clinical depression, seasonal depression, and PMS all at once."

Jay laughed. "Guess so."

"It helps when I have a reason for it. Don't know why, but it helps."

Jay nodded. "You're not too tired, are you?"

You shook your head. "No...why?"

Jay smiled. "You'll see."

"What is it?" you asked excitedly.

"You'll see when we get home."

"Jay," you whined. "C'mon! At least give me a hint!"

"You used to do this in school."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "What? That doesn't make any sense!"

"Exactly."

***

"So, what are we doing?" you asked as you got up to the door of your apartment. Jay knocked on the door. "It's your apartment! Why are you—"

"All set up in there?" Jay yelled.

"All set!" Hailey yelled back.

"All set with what?" you asked.

"You'll see when I open the door," Jay told you. "Patience, young grasshopper."

You rolled you eyes as Jay unlocked the door and followed him in.

Inside, the lights were dimmed and there were were four mugs on the bar and also four wine glasses next to a bottle of wine.

On the kitchen table was a spread of your favorite snacks including Oreos, Tim Tams, and Goldfish. There was also a tin of tamales with all the toppings with all the fixings and chips and homemade salsa from Mama Garcia's.

Then, in the living area, there were books stacked on the coffee table and blankets laid out on the couch and even a few pillows on the floor.

There was a pumpkin scented candle sitting on one of the end tables.

Finally, propped up against the TV, sat a mini white board reading Reading Day 2022.

You broke out into a giant smile. "How did you guys even come up with this?"

"Me and Will remembered you'd get so excited when you'd have that one reading day in March in elementary school when you'd just read and eat snacks all day, so we figured we'd recreate it," he answered.

"And we made the adult version," Will added. "Which is why there's wine...and I may or may not have put some Bailey's in the hot chocolate."

"Will!" Jay exclaimed.

Will put up his hands in a sign of surrender. "In my defense, I was unsupervised."

"Y/N, if you want hot chocolate without the alcohol, I'll make you some," Jay said.

"Nah, I think I'll take the spiked version," you answered.

"And, I brought over some books that were on your TBR that I grabbed from the library," Hailey added.

"Wait," you began as you furrowed your eyebrows, trying to put the pieces together. "I thought all three of you were at work?"

"I worked an eight hour shift instead of a twelve today," Will explained. "That was planned anyway since we're short staffed."

You nodded. "And, what about you two?" you asked and looked towards Jay and Hailey. "I thought you had a super sensitive case or something?"

"Turns out criminals are really stupid," Jay answered.

"We caught the guy at like three in the afternoon," Hailey explained. "And Voight said we could just do the paperwork tomorrow so Jay started thinking—"

"Oh no!" Will said dramatically and threw himself down on the couch. "He's gotta be so tired from thinking!"

Jay scrunched up his face and quickly flipped Will off, hoping that you wouldn't notice, but you had.

"Anyway," Hailey continued, annoying Will's antics even though everyone could see how she smiled when Will made that joke...she just didn't feel like laughing at her boyfriend. She figured three against one wasn't the fairest ratio. "Jay said he had this idea and told me about it, so I said I'd go on your TBR on Goodreads and try and find some books for you and that we'd need two cars so I could get the food while he picked you up."

"And then Jay called me and told me I was in charge of the alcohol," Will said.

Jay gave him a pointed look. "He really wasn't," Jay said. "He just put himself in charge of it."

You hadn't stopped smiling throughout the entire explanation of how this all came together. "Either way, thank you guys. So much."

"Pick a book and I'll grab you some food," Jay said.

"Everything on the tamales. Cheese, sour cream, sal—"

"I know what you like, Y/N. But, wine or the spiked hot chocolate?"

"I'll start with wine," you answered and the wandered over to go pick out on of the many books Hailey had brought over.

For the rest of the night, you, your brothers, and Hailey read books and ate good food and drank. The four of you also may or may not have built a blanket fort. And, you may or may not have cried when Violet texted you and asked if you wanted to meet up with her, Gallo, and Ritter tomorrow night and play poker. And, when you said you didn't know how, she said that they'd teach you.

This is what it felt like: to have people in your corner. And, even though Jay was being dramatic and overprotective when he made you go to 51 earlier to have people keep an eye on you, you knew it was just because he and Will cared about you so much that they couldn't bear to lose you.

And they wouldn't lose you. They had proven that they'd make damn sure of that.

A/N: Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote and comment!

taglist:  @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @actlikesummerr @lcothr523 @star-wars-lover

[dakiddowndastreet]

GAAP (Demon 79) x reeder

Warning:blood, panic attack, strong language

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello there” the voice rang through the peace. It was a low voice with a very thick English accent northern to be exact. “sorry I didn’t mean startle you”.

“Huh” I said in a confused tone. What the fuck is going on right now? I thought to myself, confused. “ yeah so basically you’ve got the whole world in your hands right now. If you don’t like kill three people in like three days, the whole world is going to go to shit”. A black figure appeared in front of me. I had a monstrous like Face that was the score of the deer and a weird black foggy like Buddy that was shaped like some sort of animal, but I can’t put my finger on what type of animal. I fell to the ground I was terrified. They started to roll down my face.

“ what the fuck are you?” I yelled loudly. “Oh yeah, I forgot about humans don’t like this appearance or too much” I was huddled down in the corner of the kitchen I was terrified.

I close my eyes tightly, wishing that this could all just be a dream. Something weird happened now. All of a sudden all the lights turned on again. “ how about this? Does this look better to you? my last human thought it was quite interesting…” I stayed up at the … Man? What was going on? I swear he didn’t look like that a couple of seconds ago he was wearing 70s disco outfit. That was why were they white fluffy coat resembling a sort of polar bear and platform shoes, and I can’t forget about the flares.

“anyway like I said before you need to kill three people and yeah ummmmm that saves the world” he Crouch down to me and grabbed my shoulder. ” what the fuck are you?” I said to the tall black man. “ well I’m gaap spell like GAAP. Most people get the wrong you would be surprised. So I’m like a Demon, and this is like my job is hard to explain” the Demon explained enthusiastically to me.

I folded into myself once more.” why does she always happened to me? Why can’t it up and someone else for once?” I whispered to myself. “Awwwwww be like that, plus you wanna save the world .who doesn’t like a good superhero” he replied trying to be positive.

I got up and just walked away. “ where are you going?” he asked I didn’t listen to him and I just started walking away. I thought to myself if I just walked away everything with Stop. I left my apartment and started to walk through the streets. Everywhere I looked he was there following me, he kept asking me to turn around talk to him and just answer him and do as he asks if not, “the world will go to shit.” he said. “ oh so fucking what it’s not my fucking problem is it” “ well actually is to be honest with you, you’re the only one that can save us well us humans and I guess animals”

“You’re not real” I yelled at him “ oh really am I not well I hate to break it to you I am I’m just gonna have to get used to it. Oh you know don’t under the world yeah that’s gonna be gone.” “ shut up!”

“ are you alright love?” a man walked around the corner, staring at me. “ no I’m not. Can you please tell this man to leave me alone” “ what man love I don’t see anyone else it for you” fear run through my body, as I heard those words.

I looked up at the Demon for the first time. I will speak to myself. “ holy shit, I’m not dreaming” the man in front of us, just stared at me “ show me to call the police, someone following you” I just did the frozen I didn’t know what to say how was I meant to explain to someone and got a Demon from a domino is following me and telling me to kill three people, so I get sent to a loony hospital “N-no it’s fine I’m fine really thank you though”

“ come on love he’s an easy killing in he?” the Demon whispered into my ear. “ how about you use that button next to you on the floor ? just one little here and he’s out”

my body was being taken over . I bent down to grab the bat as the man slowly walked closer to me. He put his arm on my shoulder. “ Are you sure you don’t want to call the police love?” I turned around quickly and hit him with the bat guilt run over me. blood was oozing from his head. “ holy shit what have I done?” I will speak to myself as panic took over me. I started crying furiously. I kept swearing to myself.

“ well done see isn’t that hard. One down 2 to go.” the Demon said trying to make a joke out of it. I fell to the ground with the bat of my hand covered in blood. He knelt down next to me. We just sat there.

Should I do a part two?