#i hate these intrusive thoughts

[qumiiiquinnquin]

why do I have really detrimental thoughts

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[loupy-mongoose]

WHEEZE

im dYING

thE FLOOF BEANS

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

me when the. m. me when t

[sleepyminty]

Whenever sth happen in the City

[bumblingbabooshka]

Context: Transporter Accident Species Swap Kathryn. C'mon. Patreon | Ko-fi

Episode where Janeway and Tuvok have their species swapped by an accident or entity and while everyone's figuring out how to undo it they expect Tuvok to be the one acting different but he's generally the same* meanwhile Janeway's newly Vulcan brain is terrorizing her with nightmares and violence 24/7. *He has trouble with his human body more than any emotions. Like, he keeps burning himself on things he'd normally touch without thinking. He can't stay up and stay focused as long as he normally would (two days straight) and he isn't as strong as he was before. Anyway, Janeway's sort of suffering with both. She has telepathic abilities that would be normal for a Vulcan of her age and this along with the intrusive thoughts and overwhelming emotion are...a lot. Tuvok: Have you tried meditating? Janeway: I'll rip your throat out. Sorry. Sorry. I've tried. Tuvok: Allow me to assist you. Janeway and Tuvok have a conversation about how she's not a bad person and Tuvok has to struggle with and control these sorts of intrusive, violent thoughts all the time. What makes someone a bad person? To what extent are someone's thoughts 'them'? What does a 'true self' mean? Basically Tuvok's like "These Human emotions have literally nothing on me" meanwhile Janeway's getting the shit kicked out of her - DAMN! These Vulcan emotions have hands! They also retain their personalities because they're still the same people. Janeway doesn't suddenly become stoic & logical and Tuvok doesn't suddenly become more outgoing. Tuvok also does not immediately turn into 100-year-old dust because it's a star trek episode and certain things are handwaved. In the end Janeway's like "Well that was absolute hell but in some ways it was interesting to get an up close and personal look into the Vulcan mind and I feel closer to my good friend Tuvok!" whereas Tuvok learned that he actually likes rum raisin ice cream. The B plot of this episode is that there's a certain light that keeps flickering in sickbay and everyone keeps passing off the task of fixing it so eventually the doc tries to fix it himself but he ends up causing a black out (which effects the A plot) and at the very end of the episode Harry's like "THERE. It's fixed."

[ghostlightfic]

me: guys im going to write a post-canon loop recovery fic where they get to spend time with people who love them and heal and also there's romance

me after writing some fucking crazy gore:

[damian-lil-babybat]

Damian al Ghul Wayne

"I'm going to choose my own colors."

[starrynightarchive]

you know what's so disappointing? the way people keep saying 'don't be afraid to portray mental illness and disability in media!! in your art and writing!!! normalise it and don't shun it!!!' and then the MOMENT you bring up a symptom that's too messy and uncomfortable to handle, they take a fuckin u-turn and go "UM no that's bad. like. you're a bad person if you do that. that's weird and it makes me uncomfortable so it's wrong."

here's the thing!!!!!!! it's not convenient!!!!! it's not simple!!!! i can't be honest and keep writing about how depression paints your whole world blue and all that shit!!!!!! because guess what!!!! depression and disabilities and borderline personality disorder and SO many other things are just. not neat and clean or easily consumable. they WILL make you uncomfortable and sad. they WILL make you feel bad. honesty is not easy. it's not meant to be.

and dehumanisation of sociopaths and psychopaths is genuinely distressing. not all of them!!! are!!!! bad people!!! it's a medical condition!!!! a mental illness!!! a person's illness doesn't make them bad. their actions and the decisions they take decide that and I am SO sick and tired of people watering down every complex human trait and toxic behaviour as good and bad and right and wrong. don't you see!!! some things are simply just. human. that's all. people fuck up. badly, sometimes. but that doesn't mean they are not people. I'm not saying you should forgive everyone and become a full time saint. you are entitled to your anger. i'm just asking you: don't take away a person's right to err and still be considered human. not all actions fall in the neat divisions of right and wrong. some things just are. grow some balls if you want to see true suffering in media. because it is Not easy or pretty. not even close. you will be conflicted and uncomfortable and troubled. make peace with that fact.

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

ocd is great :) so quirky and fun! you’ll just be minding your own business and then your brain goes “oh btw if you use that particular mug, your neighbour will die a terrible terrible death and it will all be your fault”. and now you’re filled with unspeakable dread so you just have to go “hm. cant disagree with that logic” and choose a different mug. and then the process repeats. over and over and over and over again until you die :)

[whumpster-dumpster]

Caretaker gets intrusive thoughts about hurting Whumpee. They're horrified by the idea, they know that hurting them is the last thing they'd ever want, but the intensity of these thoughts make it hard to trust themself around Whumpee

[ghostfacetheballfondler]

you can't destigmatize mental illness by playing into respectability politics

[fossys]

love seeing a mental health and disability advocate immediately turn around and go "haha im so delusional <3" in the same moment

[hunter-125]

Idk how long I can keep choosing coffee

[sorchathered]

Ok genuine question for our fandom community, I feel like I had so much more engagement from mutuals when I first started, and now I rarely hear from anyone but my small group. Did I do something? Do I need to put more effort in? Just want to make sure I didn’t offend anyone, my anxiety riddled brain has been thinking about this for a while.

[dd-writes]

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