I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! YOU ARE PRACTICALLY IN MY IMAGE!
I RAISED YOU LIKE THE SON I DIDN'T WANT!
Just a small headcanon. Mammon jr. Our little abounded jester with daddy issues <3
I was too lazy to draw the second pic better... But ok
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"I want to eat you" is their love language and you can't change my mind
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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.
Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.
He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.
He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.
Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"
"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.
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I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.
If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.
Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.
Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.
Tim :
Dick :
Tim : My room is normal sized…
Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-
Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.
Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.
Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.
Jason :
Dick :
Jason : Do you want to-
Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.
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Y'know sometimes I wonder what Ras reaction was to the Justice League. Like he practically offered Bruce the chance to be one of his generals, straight up offered for him to be his heir, and was turned down.
Do you think he's offended. Because oh, so his organization isn't good enough, but that merry band of idiots is?!
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I remember discussing Tintin casting choices with a friend from Germany and remarked how it was odd he often has an English accent in adaptations rather than a Belgian one, and my friend just replied "that's because Tintin gives incredibly strong English boy energy (derogatory)"
Here in the UK there's a lot of weird classism tied into accents. Today accent diversity and representation in broadcasting is actively pursued but in Tintin's time there certainly was a preferred accent to have.
imagine this exchange happens between pages 28-29 in The Crab with the Golden Claws
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i lowkey forget that percy's full name is perseus. and like. that name goes so hard. because it just sounds like this mf could kick your ass. like imagine you're a junior in high school and your teacher introduces a new student by the name of 'perseus jackson'. and before you even raise your head to look at the guy. you just know this mf could clock you.
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More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:
Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep
Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet
Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out
After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.
Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.
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forever obsessed with percy being weird. off-putting. strange even. a cryptid maybe. an urban legend if I may. my boy is the son of one of the oldest, most powerful gods, has been in FBI's records since the age of twelve, fought and won two wars against immortal beings, went to hell and back. I think he's allowed to be a little odd.
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Since Percy can talk to sea creatures, I'd like to think that one day he passed a pet shop with all these fish screaming at him in agony. Since then there has been a giant aquarium in cabin 3 with fish. He converses with them daily when he's at camp. He gave them all names (they were delighted to hear his suggestions).
There is one grumpy grouch that always tries to eat as much food before all the other fish. He has to keep him forcibly apart in a tiny water ball during dinner. He named him Zeus. Percy doesn't give a shit. Poseidon knows and thinks it is hilarious.
Chiron, who takes care of them when Percy's gone, cannot understand them but he doesn't like the way they look so judgemental. They are very much gossiping about him to his face.
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Cass, pointing at Jason: we're twins
Tim:
Jason: *6'3" 200 lbs of Latino rage and muscle*
Cass: *5'1" 120 lbs of Chinese murder and love*
Tim:
Tim: you're just not
Cass, patting his shoulder: it's okay. easy mistake. we're fraternal twins
Jason, holding up a gun: yep. twins.
Tim: ... good for you
Cass: :D
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my scary and twisted headcanons
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