#i have no idea how poetry works but i keep going and listening to the poetry jams in town

[wolpatinga]

[cyborg-hydra-girl-thing]

Monster

My grandma had a vision from god the night was born

“this child is the antichrist, and will destroy your entire clan from within”

antichrist, demon, monster

this was my name growing up.

I was named after my grandpa

“what’re you doing with MY name?” he’d say

never my own.

My father was an artist

he painted these massive gorgeous oil landscapes

My flesh was his favorite canvas

my blood makes the perfect shade of red

he’d scream monster, demon, why can’t you behave

bruises broken ribs and bullet wounds were ever present reminders of my sin of being being born wrong

My mother was an ER nurse

when I was too broken to do it myself she’d sew me back together

she’d ask “what did the monster do to deserve it this time?”

the first time i thought about killing myself i was 8

i thought about blinding myself at 10, just so somebody would notice “i’m not okay!!!!!”

existing as myself was monstrous, and monsters get round the clock beatings and hard labor, and chlorine gassed

that was when my mom finally decided this is too much

but the divorce, of course was my fault

look what you did to our family she said

look how your siblings weep, from the beatings you no longer shelter them from

look what the monster did

i was 14

the first time i attempted suicide i was 17

Mom asked if i needed more attention

then She kicked me out at 18

at 22 i kissed a boy

She said, “maybe you shouldn’t come home anymore”

at 23 i came out as nonbinary

at 25 I decided to get HRT

at 26 I did it

I survived 26 years of constant suicidal thoughts, and debates, and the ever present maybe it’s not really worth it

i have been on earth for 27 years

i have been alive for 6 months

and it turns out they were right

I am a monster

I’m the only monster CAPABLE of killing their little boy

and now his corpse is the fertile ground in which I’m growing into myself

loving myself, for the first time in my life

i can look in a mirror, shower with the lights on, wear clothes that show off my body, and i can do it all thanks to that little boy

my friends tell me i’m strong. but these cracks, fissures, gaping crevasses run so deep, they penetrate and poison my very marrow, and now I love myself, maybe, just maybe I can find enough love to start to mend those wounds too, like only a monster knows how

[fcthots]

Happy New Year!! I wish you the best of luck and prosperity in the New Year!

Have you thought about teasing Jason? Maybe making him read one of his favorite books out loud as you tease him til he can’t remember the words?

happy new year!!

Anon, you genius. I am a Jason loves teasing you truther, but I hadn't even considered the possibilities of you teasing Jason. And now that I am, he would not be able to take it for long. He would get so whiny and xhibedcd i have so many ideas for this, it's hard to pick one.

I'll proofread this later. <3.

It's not that Jason doesn't pay you enough attention, you take up 75% of his thoughts, but when Jason starts reading, it takes up all of his focus. It's damn near impossible to get his attention. Good thing you love a challenge.

When you walk into the living room, he's seated comfortably on the couch. A well worn book rests in his hands. He is so engrossed in it that he doesn't seem to notice your presence. You'll have to fix that.

"What are you reading?" He doesn't quite jump, but his eyes shoot up. There's something to be said about how he's so comfortable around you that his guards is completely let down. That does something to your insides.

"Just some poetry." It's such a vague answer that it piques your interest.

"What kind?" You step closer to him. His eyes track you.

"Some love letters. It's Letters to Milena by Franz Kafka." He'd spoken of the book before you think.

"Thinking about me while you read?" You climb onto the couch and straddle him. One of his hands moves to your waist on instinct.

His face dusts with a light blush. He doesn't respond, seemingly at a loss for words. You wrap your arms around his neck. He stutters for a moment, but never quite makes a full word. You smile. He's getting so riled up and you've barely done anything.

"Read it to me." His brows furrow and he fumbles with the pages. You dip your face into the crook of his neck and softly bite down. His breathing grows deeper and faster.

He stutters at first, struggling to find his place in the book. Eventually he finds it. "Yesterday, I advised you not to write me every day," You feel him grow hard beneath you, "I still hold the same opinion today and-"

You grind down onto him. His head tilts back, moving your face away from his neck, as he makes a sound between a whine and a moan. You lift your hips away from his and he opens his mouth to say something, but you speak first. "Keep going."

He nods obediently. His movements are shaky, pent up and nervous. "it would be very good for both of us," You drop your hips back onto his and he gasps, but doesn't stop, "and so I repeat my advice today even more-..." His voice trails off as your hand drops from his shoulder to down into your pants. He watches you with something akin to reverence as you slip the pants and underwear off together (with some difficulty). You drop them to the floor. Jason shudders beneath you. "Wait." His voice is whiny as he pants beneath you. "Please," one of his hands moves to the hem of your shirt and tugs, "take this off. Need to see you, please."

You start tugging it over your head. "Only if you keep reading." He nods vigorously and you unclasp your bra.

"Emphatically- only please," his voice hitches when display your tits in his face, you bring one hand to your chest and roll a nipple between your fingers, making a show of throwing your head back and pushing your chest towards his face with a breathy moan. "Milena," you grind against him and he stutters for a moment. You move the other hand back between your legs and begin to work yourself open, starting with two fingers, in and out. He continues and his hooded eyes watch your every move. He doesn't need to look at the book to know the words. "Don't listen to me, and write me every day anyway," you add another finger to your rhythmic motions that brush against his length, "it can even be very brief," you add in your pinky finger and Jason makes a pathetic little whiny sound that is music to your ears.

You undo the drawstring of his sweatpants and push them further down his thighs. Putting his book down, he shimmies his hips to help you get the pants down, as impatient as ever. As soon as he cock springs free, you urge him, "Keep going."

He watches, trying his best to keep talking, as you lift your hips and bring his tip to your folds. Your other hand staying occupied on your chest. His hands anchor themselves on your waist, "briefer than today's letters," he moans out as you begin to slightly push yourself down. He soldiers on, "just 2 lines," you slide down even more. You do your best to keep your own moans under control, you want to be able to watch him. You've worked yourself enough so he slides in easily, the stretch not painful. He feels good.

He can't form words while you take your time bottoming out on his cock. Once, you've sat your full weight on him, he can't tear his eyes away from where your bodies join. One of his hands slides down until his thumb reaches your clit. He's distracted, entranced, by you. You struggle to keep your composure. "Keep reading."

His eyes stay focused on his thumb as it circles your clit. "Just one," you move your hips up and snap them down. Pleasure blooms in your chest and you hear Jason curse and breathe faster. "Just one word," you find a rhythm moving up and down on his dick. His voice constantly wavers and he moans between words. "But if I had to go ah without them," the length between each word gets longer and longer as you move faster and faster and he gets closer and closer. He struggles to get even one word out.

"Finish it and I'll let you finish." You're getting close now too, his demeanor clearly having an effect on you. His thumb speeds up.

He nods, unable to hold himself back for much longer. "I would suffer terribly." He says the words fast, all in one breath as he begins to thrust up into you. You clench around him as he lets out a loud moan. You cum together as he spills out of you. His head tosses back and his thumb stills and he twitches through the last waves of his orgasm. You drop your head onto his shoulder and slouch against his chest. His arms curl around you and he kisses whatever skin he can reach. You legs burn and your knees ache, but you have nothing to be worried about. Jason will take care of you.

Also disclaimer! I have not read the book yet! I plan on getting it soon bc I've been wanting to read it for years, but have yet to read the full thing full so that's why it's undetailed.

[marvelouslizzie]

Why Are You Doing This To Me?

summary: Your ex-boyfriend Bucky Barnes wrote two songs about (for) you and you don’t know what to do.

pairing: Ex!Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

warnings: Angst, a past failed relationship, pettiness, jealousy, anger, a lot of emotions, no mention of y/n.

word count: 2.3K

A/N: I have been away for a while because I was busy learning another language aka Dutch. I still am but at least I am done with my big exam. As soon as I was done with it, I found myself writing again.

This is a random idea that just popped into my head while listening to music and taking a walk. Pure angst for some reason. Usually, I go for smutty ideas but bear with me.

>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.

Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing this so fast ❤️

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Keep reading tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.

>> Hey! I know you don’t want to hear anything about Bucky, but I think you should check these out. I think he wrote these songs for you.

Two links from Spotify follow the text you received from one of your best friends, and you stare for a while, trying to decide what to do. You really don’t want to hear his voice. Not because you don’t like his singing or his songs, but you wanted to get back on your feet. It would be impossible if you kept listening to his songs. Besides, hearing his voice has always softened you. And your best friend knows this. She knows a lot about your relationship, how everything went down, and how you two eventually broke up. If she didn't think you should listen to these songs, she wouldn't be sending you these links, right?

You take a deep breath and click on the first link. The song starts to play, and you notice the soft vibe right away. It’s not particularly Bucky’s style. He sounds like he’s in pain but he's singing with such clarity that surprises you.

He talks about how much he regrets the things he didn’t do when he was with you. How he misses you so much every day. How much he wants to call you, but he’s afraid that you won’t pick up the phone or worse, you will talk to him like a stranger. He says he always knew how precious you were, yet he took you for granted.

The lyrics flow flawlessly. It sounds like poetry to your ears. The way he expressed himself so beautifully… You can’t believe he wrote such a heartfelt song about you, and it’s not even his style. He’s a freaking rockstar. He usually writes about sex, rock and roll, and drugs. Not feelings. Then the song finally reaches the chorus and his words make you freeze. 

“You are the love of my love.”

Did he really just say that? Did he just call you the love of his life? You feel this rush of emotions, and it’s hard to distinguish what you are actually feeling. It makes it harder to think, harder to focus on anything else other than the fact that this song is for you. That’s when you notice the name of the song. It’s the Love of My Life.

Suddenly, you start to feel angry. Every other emotion just takes a backseat. You hate him. So fucking much! Why is he always like this? Saying everything a little too late. Was it so hard for him to tell you this when you wanted to find just one reason to stay with him? You begged him to communicate with you maybe a million times. He always said it was not easy for him to put his feelings into words. Good or bad. It didn’t matter. He always struggled with his emotions. You tried your best. You tried to show him that he could trust you, that you would always be there for him, but it didn’t matter in the end. You felt like you were the only one trying to make this relationship work.

That’s when you decided to give up. It felt like he just didn’t care enough. He didn’t put any effort into changing things or making you feel like you weren’t just beating a dead horse.

You hoisted the white flag and moved on with your life. That’s when he decides to put whatever he feels into words. Instead of talking to you, he makes a song about it. Then he puts it out into the world. 

What a fucking asshole!

It takes you a while to realize the song is over as the silence fills the room. As much as you hate how he chose to do this, the silence disturbs you. It might be a little too late, but you still want to hear what he has to say. Your own rules about not listening to any of his songs instantly go out the window.

You open the messaging app and click on the second link. This one sounds a little bit more like his usual style. The name of the song though, instantly catches your attention this time. It’s one of the nicknames he used often for you. 

He starts the song by saying that he knows how selfish he is. That he has no right to feel this way, but he just saw you with someone else and he hated how it made him feel. He talks about how jealous he is. How he can’t help but imagine you in that guy’s arms. Then he realized you might call him baby, just like you used to call him. Then he continues by begging you not to call him baby, how he wants you to save that pet name for him even though he’s not in your life anymore.

There are so many details throughout the song that indicate he’s talking about you, there is no mistaking. He calls you by your nickname, saying how he loves the way you talk passionately about your interests, how compassionate you are, and how much effort you put into maintaining your relationship but he was too stupid and pathetic to appreciate them.

Every word that comes out of his mouth makes you even angrier. How dare he? How dare he write a song like this for you? After everything you have been through, after all the effort you put into your relationship, after every heartbreak… He realizes how much he values you just because he saw you with someone else.

Selfish bastard!

He has no right to put these words out there. He has no right to feel jealous. You are not his anymore. You can call someone else baby if that’s what you want. How dare he try to dictate to you like this? It makes you wanna call someone up and go out on another date and call him baby, just in spite.

The problem is, it’s just your stubborn nature talking. Before this song, you didn’t even think about calling someone else baby. You didn’t feel like it. Subconsciously, you were reserving that pet name for him. And that fucker knew it. He just knew it!

You exhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down. The song is over, but you can still hear him singing in your head. The song is so beautiful. Petty but so fucking beautiful. He sounds like he poured his heart out without caring how vulnerable it makes him look. 

Another deep breath, you try to understand which date he is talking about. You have been on a couple of dates since you two broke up. You were so dedicated to moving on. You didn’t care if it would hurt him. Because he didn’t care about how much he hurt you all those times you tried your hardest to make things work. So you went out with a couple of gentlemen. Some of them were decent, and some of them were downright horrible. Dating is just as tedious as you remembered. A lot of assholes out there who don’t care who they are hurting. You didn’t get hurt, though. You didn't care enough about any of them to give them the power to hurt you.

Then it finally hits you. He’s talking about your date with that motherfucking movie star! That one was big news for a while. You got photographed two, maybe three times together.

You really looked like you were having fun in those photos. Truthfully, you were, he was such a funny guy. He knew how to make fun of himself. You were just so tired of pretentious asses. It was refreshing. That’s why you said yes to a second and a third date. Then he was off to a European country to shoot his next movie. You had a fun and it was more than enough for you. 

You precisely remember that tabloids started to talk about how perfect you two were for each other. God, that must have gotten under his skin. You can’t help but laugh. He’s so predictable. He just couldn’t bear to see you with someone else, but can you blame him?

You remember seeing something similar about him, but in that case, he wasn’t on a date with the girl. They were just working together for some lame-ass project he would normally despise. Maybe he was trying to keep himself busy, who knows? You remember so vividly how she was looking at him like she wanted to eat him up. As if that wasn’t enough, she kept praising him, calling him the best rockstar of the century just to get in his pants. You have no idea if it worked or not, but it was enough to make you feel jealous. So can you blame him for feeling the same?

It just makes you realize you want to listen to those songs again. It’s maybe too little too late but you still want to hear him. You wanted him to talk about his feelings for such a long time and he’s finally doing it. Through a song but still, he’s doing it. It isn’t exactly communicating because communication must be two-sided, right? That’s what was missing in your relationship. You were talking, pleading, trying while he was keeping everything in. You feel like the roles are reversed. Now he’s the one talking, pleading, and trying, and you just don’t know what to do. How the tables have turned.

The second time around, you notice other details you missed the first time. Like peaceful walks you took together whenever you had the time or how you always used fake names when you two traveled together. You can’t help but miss those days. Even though you had problems, being with him always felt so safe and peaceful. You have no idea how he managed to make you feel that way. Maybe that’s why it took you so long to end the relationship. You still miss the way you felt back then. As if you two could overcome anything together, yet you couldn’t. Because you didn’t work together. You were alone, struggling to make him talk.

Then he talks about how he still speaks to your friends, and that makes him miss you even more. That part surprises you because none of your friends mentioned that they were still seeing Bucky. Is that because you didn’t let them ever talk about him? You feared if you let yourself talk or think about him, you would go back to the point zero.

He ends the song saying he doesn't want you to be a distant memory, and this sticks with you. Do you want him to be a distant memory?

The second time you listen, you notice how desperate he sounds. The way he pleads doesn’t anger you anymore. You find something you feel in his words. Your own fears, your own selfishness and oh, how much you miss him. You didn’t let yourself admit that you miss him. You thought acting like he never existed, he was never a part of your life would make everything easier and it did. Just for a while. Lately, it was just a burden. You tried so hard to keep everything inside. Just like he did. You are still trying to do it… to act logically, not emotionally. Does it mean you are making the same mistake he did? Shutting yourself down, not talking about your feelings. Is it the solution or is it a part of the mistake? You can’t tell anymore. You just know that your heart is aching. The sound of his voice makes you want to cry.

God, you hate him so much!

How could he do this to you after all this time?

Is it that easy to get under your skin or was he always there?

You feel like you are about to explode because of all the emotions you are going through. On one hand, Bucky communicating with you is everything you wanted. On the other hand, isn’t it too late? And why did he write not one but two songs about you? Declaring his love to the world…

You repeat that last bit in your head. He’s declaring his love to the world.

He’s no longer afraid to talk about his emotions. He wants you to hear them, millions of other people are just the bonus. He’s not afraid to show how fucking miserable he feels. He just wants you back.

He’s doing his bit in communicating, but unless you don’t do something about it, it won’t matter. It will be another attempt in vain. You aren’t sure if you want to repeat the same pattern. You notice the song is over when your phone chimes. It’s your best friend again.

>> Did you listen?

<< Yeah.

>> How are you feeling?

<< Confused.

<< Are you still talking to him?

>> Yeah we all are.

<< Why didn’t you tell me that?

>> You said you didn’t wanna hear anything about him and we just respected your decision.

Just like you thought. You can’t blame them. Anytime someone mentioned anything remotely related to Bucky, you either changed the subject or found a reason to leave. So you can’t help but wonder…

<< How is he doing?

>> Not great. He misses you.

<< I miss him too.

>> Are you gonna call him?

You look at the message for a long minute. Are you gonna call him? That’s the question. Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn’t. Both of the options sound equally wrong. You have no idea what to do.

<< I don’t know what to do.

>> Just give him a call. He’s the love of your life.

You have no idea how long you have looked at that text. Maybe for a couple of minutes, maybe for an hour. 

He’s the love of your life.

He’s a bastard, but he really is the love of your life.

And you are the love of his life.

Where do you go from here? You look at your phone once again. You finally know what to do.

[moodymisty]

I mean you got anything sweet for Blood Angels...

Though my brain keeps jumping to Flesh Tearers but I feel like that's just me trying to get myself to write for Flesh Tearers (and Lamenters)

(Rambling idea below)

I mean lets be honest Blood Angels are ultimate predators for humans... being so handsome I mean Sanguinius was often called ethereal and other worldly with his beauty. So of course his sons are handsome and all so well bred for the arts... easy to lure in many humans to just listen to their prose or see their paintings.

Just don't show up during your period because suddenly a lot of the poetry is about blood or blood adjacent... they can't seem to find the right red paint... and why do so many of them look at you like they are dying of thirst?

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author’s note: Do I have something for Blood Angels- BOY DO I! Enjoy! I didn't exactly do your idea but I've had this plot in my head for weeks and wanted to use it and you're ask was the only one that let me /sob Not my best work by far, but I hope you enjoy.

Relationships: Unnamed Blood Angel/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Oral, Period blood kink/menstrual kink that type of stuff, Is this too weird? maybe I dunno you guys all seem like freaks so hopefully this will go over well? If not I can just return to my dungeon

"Why are we going this way?"

This is a long way around, though some of the Red Tear's maintenance areas. He doesn't answer you however, and with disgruntlement you let the question lie as you return to more civilized parts of the Red Tear.

This whole interaction has been odd, since he had picked you up to escort you back from your duties. Normally he doesn’t act like this; He's stoic and lacks a good bit of emotion yes, but you almost feel as if now he’s taking you to your execution.

"I thought you were missing,"

You had jokingly said, walking closer to him. This planet had been pleasant enough after the Blood Angels brought it under the Imperium, but you're quite eager to return to Terra. Or at least the Red Tear.

He ignored your little comment and stepped closer, but you noticed his face change when he got close enough to touch you. His body became more rigid, and you furrowed your brow as you looked up at him.

"Are you ok?" You say as he clears his throat and nods stiffly. "Yes. We should return to the Red Tear. Our work here is done."

You look up at him again try and get any sort of hint as to how he's feeling, but he only has that same, stiff expression; Though slightly more irritated than usual.

You round yet another corner to see a group of freshly armored Blood Angels leaving one of the armoring rooms. They all perk up at the sight of you, staring at you like something fierce. You get more than a bit uncomfortable under their gaze, until your supposed guardian grabs your arm and swiftly pulls you down the hall past them. He glares at them to keep their distance, and you grab at his gauntlet to try and relieve some of the pressure. You're arm is in pain from how tight he's pulling you along, until you stop in front of a room he opens.

It's not your own, so you presume it's his. He shoves you inside.

"Stay here."

As a diplomat you technically reside outside the command structure of the Blood Angels, but no one in their right mind would disobey an astartes. Especially one that is looking at you with such fire in his eyes. He turns to leave, but your sudden question makes him turn towards you again.

"What is all this? Why are you-" He grabs you tight at the shoulder, and you gasp in pain as the force of it pins you to the wall.

"Why do you smell like blood?"

You pull at his hand and grimace in pain, and at his oddly specific question.

"What? It's just normal, It's that time of the-" He lightly shakes your shoulder and despite speaking relatively quiet, his voice still hits you in the chest with out seething it sounds.

"Every one of my brothers on this ship can smell you. You're lucky I got to you before one of them did."

Even if they did, why does he speak of it like something would happen? Like he avoided it for a reason? He's talking as if you would be in danger if they found you, for something seemingly so simple.

“What would happen if they did?”

You quietly question, watching the expression on his face instantly change. He looks conflicted, like he’s nearly lost in thought. For awhile you think you may not even get an answer from him, until you finally see his lips shift.

“I, assume you’ve heard mutterings of a curse in your time here.”

You have vaguely- even he had cursed it once. At the time you'd assumed it some sort of unfamiliar swear or perhaps just an odd phase adopted by Blood Angels, and so you'd paid it little mind other than the initial confusion. When you hesitantly nod, he continues.

“The curse is real. It has changed our legion. And,” You figure he’s about to speak a secret he shouldn’t to someone like you, so you stay quiet.

“It makes the smell of blood, tempting.” He continues. “It sates a hunger only we Blood Angels possess, and keeps us from going raving mad.”

He quiets, and you feels his gauntlets shift on your shoulders. He changes the subject to something adjacent; You assume he probably feels guilt for confessing a chapter secret to you.

“You’re not hurt?” He says confusedly. You aren’t particularly surprised he knows little about such things, though explaining it to him in this state would take far too long and be far too unfruitful.

“No. I'm fine.” He hums. You think you hear him mumble about hearing such a thing from somewhere, a woman's illness, and the comment would make you laugh if he wasn't looming down on you so intensely.

“Very well.” He shifts his jaw a bit, the scars along it shifting. He seems to have run out of things to say, though it also seems like he can't pull himself away from you. His throat and jaw are tightly wound, like he's holding something back.

“You want some… Don’t you?”

He seems surprised oddly enough; Perhaps by your bluntness and stupidity. Many legions would not take kindly to you assuming things about them, but Blood Angels are remarkably kinder. He is remarkably kinder.

“I," He grimaces. "I would owe you a great deal. Our superiors look at those with the Red Thirst as little more than a danger.”

The Blood Angels have been nothing but kind to you, in their own way. To even just be on the Red Tear is a safety and security you couldn’t repay.

It helps that it's him; You haven't ventured far around the Blood Angels ship alone, and you shamefully feel yourself beginning to get attached. If this curse can be sated by something so seemingly menial to you, then you have no reason to refuse.

“Ok.”

You move to take off your pants hands shaking just barely in nervousness, as he drops to his knee with one heavy thud. The sound startles you, just as your pants fall to the floor.

Once they’re off, and just your underwear remains, you hesitate for a moment. His stare is so intense, and you don't know how to describe it other than hungry. Given what he's told you, it makes perfect sense.

After what feels like and eternity of you being frozen, you finally manage to regain enough control to peel your underwear away. He viscerally reacts to the presumably iron filled scent, and the sight of blood against your now bare skin.

You see the way the knot in his throat bobs just above the black skinsuit beneath his armor.

With a speed that has you almost letting out a scream he grips your hips pulls them forward enough that the angle feels precarious, but he has a solid enough grip that leaves no chance of you falling. He throws your right leg over his shoulder next to open your thighs, your foot pressing against the front of his jetpack.

He hesitates for a moment, and you look away from the sheer intensity of his expression before you feel his hot breath on your skin.

You feel the moment he finally takes a taste and you can barely hold in a whimper, it coming out a tiny squeak as you feel the way his hands shift and tighten against your hips. Any hesitation he had is gone near instantly, as he presses his mouth against your cunt.

His armored hands grip at your hips with a strength that makes you ache and fear bruises, easily keeping your legs spread with minimal effort as his tongue laps at your folds. You can see the blood smear across his face, though he pays no mind. He acts as if this is the first meal he's had in ages, or the last he'll ever have.

But while perhaps your pleasure might not be at the forefront of his mind in his quite literal bloodlust, the way his tongue slips between your folds and teases you still makes shivers go up your spine. Your hands grip his hair and attempt to steady yourself, as his strength pushes you around. It's impossible to stop the way your hips push forward trying to get closer to him, gasping as he briefly brushes around your clit.

Suddenly however he pulls himself away, mouth stained much the same as your cunt and upper thighs are. You can see his eyes are glassy his throat bobs.

"I should stop."

He mumbles something to himself about loosing himself further to the Thirst, as if he's treading a line between sating his hunger or falling victim to it. You, perhaps stupidly, encourage him to do the exact opposite.

"No, no just, just a bit more,"

You breathlessly whisper and attempt to pull him closer. He silently resists for a moment, before the knot in his throat bobs and he returns his mouth to between your legs. You can't stop the loud moan you let out into the barren room, damning the consequences of anyone hearing you.

You're so close to that peak you only need a bit more, and the way his teeth scrape against your skin and nose presses against your clit gets you there. Your hands tighter in his hair and you inhale, trying not to cry out. But even after you start to come down he continues, his mouth overstimulating so many little nerves you feel on the edge of tears. Your face is hot as your fingers grip at his armor, desperately whining for him to simultaneously stop, and never stop.

He pulls away again, and gently emoves your leg from his shoulder to let you stand and wobbly attempt to yourself. Your knees feel weak and so many of your muscles are sore, even though he was exceedingly gentle with you.

Realizing his face is a mess, he uses the fabric of his cape to wipe it; How fortuitous the fabric is red.

"You should still keep clear of my brothers until this, passes. You never know how close one of them is to loosing themselves and hurting you." You'll heed the warning. If they're anything more than what gusto he already displayed, you wouldn't be surprised angels more lost to the thirst would be dangerous to you. He displayed a remarkable degree of restraint, you could tell.

Though, a curious part of your mind wonders what he'd be like if he hadn't.

"Do you at least feel better? I don't know how the Thirst works but," He nods.

"Yes. It is nice to not have my head so clouded. I... Thank you."

You smile, before accidentally letting more words tumble out of your lips that you should've allowed. It seems his presence always seems to makes you accidentally forget how to not act a fool.

"Always happy to help." He takes your phase at face value, though you suppose you wouldn't refuse him if he asked again. It wasn't as if this ended badly for you.

"You are kind, offering yourself to a Blood Angel. Not many would."

Beyond their sophisticated veneer they are still dangerous predators more than capable of killing you with the slightest motion, you understand why any few who learn about their supposed defect would fear them.

Maybe something is clouding your judgement, but you don't fear him; At least not yet.

Adjusting your clothing you watch as he rises to his full height, his cape flowing behind him. You grip your own fingers nervously and look around.

"But, would you mind bringing my back to my own quarters? I'll admit I have no idea where on the ship you brought me, and I'm still a bit woozy." He offers a gentle but stoic smile.

"Of course."

[ariseur]

Hmmm…Cloud with a s/o thats the EXACT opposite of him? How do you think he’d act?🧐

cloud n his polar opposite 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

cloud strife x reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

guys don’t mention the fact that i have to literally add esoteric angsty poetry in some of my works, it’s a habit i’m trying to break, okay?? 😭

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

none that i know of except intended lowercase (?), lmk if i missed anything though!! 💕

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

❥ cloud with someone who’s entirely different than him would def be an amusing sight.

❥ now we all know cloud. awkward, pretty stoic, his social skills all go into his sword basically. now, imagine him with this happy go lucky, sociable, sweetheart. it’s definitely a contrast.

❥ i think at the first meeting, it would take him some time to get used to you. especially if you’re chatty, then he might tell you to shut up a few times 😭 but once he gets used to you, he’ll somewhat stay quiet. if you flirt with him, he’ll literally combust. he has no idea what to do. leave him alone okay???

❥ once he’s around you enough, he might even start mimicking your behavior with certain traits. if you tease him, he’ll quip right back. he’ll even give you a close mouthed chuckle as your humor rubs off on him.

❥ it’s entertaining watching you follow cloud around like an excited puppy as you circle around him and ask all these questions while he’s just answering nonverbally. or imagine cloud just linking pinkies with you as he looks so determined on making sure you don’t get hurt in the streets while you’re just rambling on with no care in the world.

❥ if you’re the exact opposite of cloud, i assume you’re more extroverted or lively in a public setting. definitely more of a people person than cloud. but there are times where cloud will just drive you out to a quiet place and sit with you, watching over midgar or whatever sector you’re in. he’ll let you ramble on and on to him, listening for however long you want him to.

❥ ugh for some reason i can just imagine this scenario where youre just begging him to dance with you and he says no and then you keep going and pull him up to which he “begrudgingly” agrees and then UGH

❥ DO YOU GUYS SEE THIS VISION??????1??22?3?:?

❥ if you don’t know how to fight, cloud will gladly teach you. hes actually a really good teacher!! he’ll correct your form frankly and will give you a ‘good job’ if you perform correctly. he doesn’t know it, and he definitely won’t admit that he does if he knows it, but he’s a great teacher and he knows exactly what to say. cloud’s 50/50, he’ll either crack a smile or roll his eyes at you when he sees you pat yourself on the back for the simplest success, depending on how long you’ve known him.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

“c’mon, CLOUD—! just this one time!”

“no, i told you.” he huffs, “i don’t dance.” his eyes stay closed with furrowed brows, arms crossed while he leaned back in the small garden chair.

you decided to invite him to a family party, which ended up with you practically pleading on your knees for him to dance with you. you two were outside in a small clearing behind the small house as the music blared in the distance. only the whoops of family members and giggles of little kids running around were in the air, making you smile as you extended a hand out to cloud.

“just one?” you tilted your head, narrowing your eyes as you watched cloud exhale through his nose before he finally lifted his gaze to your hand. he observed it warily, almost as if it was a trick. cloud finally lifted his head and looked up at you, pressing his lips together as he considered his choices. he sighed, mumbled something under his breath, and took your hand in his own leather clad one.

you squealed and rushed to hug him, “thank you, cloudd—!” you drew out the ‘d’ as you squeezed him tight. he patted your back awkwardly before you pulled away and grinned at him, lifting a finger signaling for him to listen.

his gaze shifted elsewhere in thought, ears picking up the song blasting in the distance changing from a swing tune to a slow dancing rhythm.

you squeezed cloud’s hand in yours as you leaned your head on his shoulder, trying to ease him out of his stiffness. he closed his eyes, focusing on the music as you coaxed him into a small shuffle. the melody melded you into one being as you swayed with the music, cloud even being confident enough to eventually twirl you a bit.

you give him a sly grin, “y’sure you haven’t done this before, cloud?” you teased. he made a small noise of surprise before he looked away, still shuffling with you. the music was drowned out by the sound of each other’s heartbeats, cloud shaky sighs every time you’d giggle when you tripped over his feet. he reveled in the moments where you two were alone, only your bodies present accompanied with your minds and your hearts, full of love. where you’d persuade cloud to come out of his hideout and remind him that it’s okay to defrost, to accept that he is human and that he has feelings as well. he didn’t have to listen to everybody who’d recognize that he was cool or feel the pressure of their words where they’d only recognize him from a surface exterior. because truth be told, even the coolest of people try their damndest to be alright.

[randoimago]

I’ve had this idea floating around in my head for a bit, but what about a githyanki tav attempting to woo some of the companions with normal non-githyanki tactics they totally didn’t learn from a cheesy romance novel they found?

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Character(s): Gale, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Wyll

Note(s): I love this idea so much (need more githyanki love tbh). Decided to add Lae'zel because I just find it very funny to imagine her reaction and how often she'd roll her eyes.

Gale

Was reading his own books when you approach and begin your attempt with reciting some cheesy line. Gale can't help but cut in and help you by correcting your pronunciation. He asks you to keep going though, you're doing great.

As smart as he is, it takes him a little bit to realize that you were flirting with him. When Gale does piece it together, he recites his own line from some book he read. The metaphor probably doesn't completely translate to you and he has to explain it a little, but his words are sweet even if the reaction is delayed.

Gale will compile a list of romance books where you both can read from and pick out very romantic lines in. And he can explain some of it to you as well to help you learn more too. He views teaching you and sharing knowledge as the most romantic of dates.

Lae'zel

She is unbelievably unamused when you approach her and start talking like one of the noms on this land (you try to correct her that it's "Gnome" but she doesn't listen).

You tried to explain that you found a book and thought it'd be helpful to learn the mating rituals of the people on of this land and she thought you hit your head. Will not stand for any of the name calling you do. It is insulting to be called "pretty like a rose" when she should be as strong as a dragon.

If you wish to really inspire her for a night of passion then she'll show you how to actually accomplish that. Her determination to take charge and show you how it's done isn't quite what you had in mind, but it worked.

Shadowheart

She's very wary when you approach her. And then you start spewing some poetry? Shadowheart is confused and doesn't know if this is some kind of manipulation tactic you have or what. But then she sees your own confusion over some of the lines and now she's a bit amused.

Each time you approach, she's crossing her arms and listening to you very obviously recite lines you rehearsed. She'll wait until the end and comment that she never heard of a gith enjoying poetry. When you bluntly tell her you read from a book in hopes of wooing her, well that completely surprises her. And she feels a bit bad at being so on guard at first when you were trying to flirt.

Shadowheart will tell you that poetry isn't always the way to her heart, some compliments would be nice. But really, if you want to romance her than join her for some alcohol instead and your lips can be used in other ways than speaking.

Wyll

Wyll is definitely a hopeless romantic and to see you come up to him and begin saying some rather cheesy lines, well he can't deny how flustered it starts to make him. A soft smile is on his face as he listens to you attempting to flirt.

Finds it so adorable that you do have a bit of confusion on your face as you recite some lines. Probably because you don't quite understand the meaning due to the cultural difference, but he stays quiet and lets you continue without correcting.

There's a good chance that Wyll has already read the cheesy romance that you stole the lines from. He can't help but bring it up and ask. When he hears your confirmation, it makes him happy and he recommends other cheesy romances that you could read together and he can explain the meanings to some of the flowery language (as well as use his own cheesy lines as well).

Taglists: @reo-the-leo @unhelpfulnpc

[islandofsages]

Pomefiore boys with a friend (male reader), how is a hopeless romantic, where they help him (the reader) to win over his crush or comfort him when he is rejected.

characters: the pomefiore boys x male reader

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, comfort, imagines format

warnings: mentions of beating people up LMAO, some physical contact in epel's

author's notes: ngl i was kinda debating writing this bc i was like hmmmm crush but yknow what? it's not romance with the main cast so i'll let it slide plus im excited to get a request after so long sorry if this isnt as good! pretty rusty from not writing imagines in so long ahaha

Vil Schoenheit

You went to the right person - who else has better rizz charm than Vil Schoenheit himself?

Of course, his first word of advice would be to just be yourself but just in case “yourself” isn’t enough, Vil has extended two generous offers to you: he will personally tutor you on how to steal your crush’s heart and if somehow they still reject you, he’ll have a uh… nice little talk with them. Totally. He has a reputation to hold up you know

Jokes aside, he truly believes you can catch your crush’s attention. He may be a little tough on you at times but he’s only trying to push you in the right direction

“Remember. If they do not give you the time of day, then they are not worth any of your precious time.”

If you get rejected, he’ll admit he feels a bit guilty - mostly disappointed in the crush (unless they have a good reason to reject), but still

Of course you insist that he doesn’t have to be sorry but he takes it upon himself to make up to you somehow

Whatever you need to recover from the rejection, he’ll try his best to fulfill your wishes

He’ll make time in his busy schedule to go out and treat you to something to cheer you up

In all the love in the world, maybe your crush isn’t yours to keep. But at least Vil’s is.

Epel Felmier

He may not have much experience with confessions or being a wingman but he’ll try his best for you!

He might search up how to impress a crush online and have you genuinely try the ideas he found and let’s just say that some of them are… interesting alright

You know he means well so you just follow along. At least the embarrassing times make for good memories to look back on and laugh over

“Maybe this’ll work…? How are we gonna find these though…”

He also offers to beat your crush up if they reject you but you quickly shut him down.

He’s there somewhere, hiding in a nearby bush (or whatever is nearby), when you confess to your crush, face scrunches up as if watching an intense Spelldrive match

If you get rejected, he’ll be a shoulder to cry on. Literally - he’ll sit beside you and offer to let you rest your head on his shoulder if you want

He may end up not saying much but he can listen to you for as long as you need him to

The tears of rejection may be salty, but the memories you made with your friend could sweeten any taste.

Rook Hunt

He’s delighted that you trust him enough to go to him for support

You think that you’d like to be more charming like him, what with his way of speaking and how he carries himself

Tears prick the corner of his eyes already; you have to ask him if he’s alright

“To think you saw me in such a light… it would stir any soul.”

He would even offer to teach you the delicate art of poetry if you so desire to win your crush’s heart through prose

If you get rejected, he’ll empathize with you, wearing a frown that you almost feel worse about than your actual rejection

He’ll let you say whatever you need to say or let out whatever’s weighing on you

When you’re done, he tells you that even such heartbreaking events could bloom into a beautiful flower one day - that you need not be concerned and see it as a learning experience

You laugh; how could you forget? There are many types of people out there. Just like how there could only be one copy of your crush, there could only be one of Rook.

[siblingskissing]

Ronance headcanons?

Ronance Headcanons

I have had the BIGGEST brain rot about these two, you guys don't even know, so please excuse my rambling session in this post. As always- feel free to share your headcanons, opinions, thoughts ideas, just be kind <3

-Robin is the biggest simp to ever exist. Nancy mentions liking a color? Guess who's suddenly adding it all over their wardrobe! A favourite food? She's already learned how to cook it. Allergic to something? Robin will destroy it with her bare hands and make it go extinct to protect her girl.

-Likewise, Nancy would and will kill for Robin (come on Robin tell her to kill for you she wants to)

-Their favourite dates include them sitting in one of their rooms, a movie or music playing as they discuss conspiracy theories or whatever story Nancy is working on

"There's been a ton of missing items from farms in the areas. Animals, tools, bales of hay-"

"could it be aliens?"

"Alie- Robin it's not aliens!"

"What? Interdimensional monsters are real but aliens aren't?"

-Many people assume Nancy would get annoyed by Robins carefree joke centered attitude but actually she calms down whenever Robin tries making jokes.

-She doesn't like when people don't take things seriously, but she knows Robin is taking it serious, but using humour to make sure they don't spiral with the problem

-their relationship definitely started off rocky but with some time, understanding and surprisingly really deep conversations they learn to appreciate the little things about one another.

-Robin loves Nancy's drive and her leadership skills. She makes sure that everyone takes her seriously and if the kids complain about Nancy being a hard ass she brings them back to listen.

"Nancy's not our boss!"

"No, but she's the one keeping you dipshits safe- she knows what she's doing so listen up and quit complaining"

-They kids listen to Robin more and so when she follows Nancy with no complaints, the kids unconsciously follow suit.

-When Nancy gets stressed/aggravated Robin will be there to lend her a shoulder. They're very much leader/Right Hand man coded to me.

-Nancy doesn't know much about queer culture so when she does eventually come out Robin is happy to talk to her about it and share what she knows.

"So we use Blue violets because Sappho used to describe women wearing garlands of them,"

"Sappho?"

"... Do you have a spar 3 hours so I can explain Sappho and Greek poetry to you?"

-They take all kinds of cute little Polaroids that they keep at Robins place

(examples of said Polaroids)

-Robins family is more supportive so often Nancy goes over there to spend the night

-when college comes up in discussions Robin mentions that she enjoyed investigating with Nancy, the research was fun when they didn't have death looming over them.

"Yeah, learning Russian to break the code was awesome- the torture kind of ruined it though-"

"The WHAT?"

-Nancy asks Robin 1000X if Robin is sure she wants to go to the same college/same field and Robin promises her that she isn't only going because of her.

"I'd follow you anywhere, but this is also for me- if I have to do one more customer service job I might kill someone."

-They love movie nights, curled up under a blanket watching whatever film they can find. Robin always finds the oddest ones and sometimes some really deep indie films. Nancy also enjoys the foreign films she can find and let's her choose.

-on nights Nancy chooses- she likes care free fun films. Nothing too heavy because she likes the simplicity

-Theyre a gross matching couple- but in a new fun way.

-Mat hing colors in their respective styles, using each other's clothes and making it go with their personal choices, matching patterns/designs.

-They also shared shoes sometimes

-On the 90s Nancy gets a more "Rachel from friends" style like this

-Robin eats it up like no one is watching and often has to hold back from just kissing her 24/7

(also I badly wanna do a look book of the characters so Please someone ask for that because I love fashion)

I definitely probably have more but here you are!!

[kingofbodyrolls]

Hello! 🌸

My name is Lissa and I’m a 93 liner, I'm a graphic designer and photographer. I have been writing for many years, but only recently got back to it. I only write for BTS, and please look at my masterlist for all my writings 🥰 I enjoy reading as much as I do writing, and I love spreading joy and happiness, and you can check out all my fic recs [here] 💞

I’m also on ao3 → kingofbodyrolls. I also write poetry sometimes, and you can check that out on my subblog @lissa-does-poems Newest work (11/09/24) (dd/mm/yy)  → Deep Dive [knj]

Genre + emoji meaning/key: Angst = 🌩️ || Smut = 🥵 || Fluff = 🥰 || Comedy = 😂 || Yandere = 😈 || Thriller/dark = 👻 || Personal favorite = 💯 || Completed = ✅ || Ongoing/writing = ✍️

Sprout [mini series ✅💯] 21k - 🥵😂 You love your plants, you love your garden, you do not love your new neighbor. You hate him with all your might— he wrecks everything you hold dear so you do the only reasonable thing: retaliate.

→ Series masterlist

Deep Dive [one-shot ✅💯] 19.8k - 🥵🪄🥰😂 You’ve been searching for gemstones deep on the seabed— having found a broken piece of blue aquamarine. Searching for the missing piece and your new rival, you find it and much more with the blue tailed merman Namjoon while on a quest for crystals.

→  Deep Dive (part of the '7 Summers at the Sea' series)

When it Sinks In [one-shot ✅💯] 13.1k - 🥵🪄🥰🌩️ Life as a mermaid is wonderful, especially when your merman boyfriend, Seokjin, treats you just right. But you’re beginning to recall memories that you don’t think are yours from life on land— from a past life maybe? When you do realize that the memories are in fact your own, the world comes tumbling down around you, questioning your very existence. Are you even a real mermaid?

→  When it Sinks In (part of the '7 Summers at the Sea' series)

Friendcation [series ✅💯] 131.6k - 🥵🥰😂 Going camping with your best friends seemed like a brilliant idea when you initially made the plans. But when you harbor secret feelings for one of them, what will become of you being close confined for three months? Trouble, that’s what.

→ Series masterlist

Learn to Love Again [one-shot ✅] 19.4k -🌩️👻🥵🥰 People always leave. They become beautiful stars shining bright in the night sky. When life hands you lemons, you’ve been told to make lemonade, but that is hard when your soul and heart is breaking apart. When you rescue a tiny cat and meet a handsome stranger in the cafe, you finally feel yourself healing – but when they too leave, how are you going to learn to love again?

→ Learn to Love Again

End of the World [series ✅] 27.7k -🌩️👻🥵 Your government has been telling you to prepare for war, just as a precaution given the recent political changes around your country. Did you listen and prepare? No. Are you paying the price now, friends all but gone, and your city burned to pieces? Yes. Survival instincts kicking in, you search for a place to rest, nourish your battered and hungry body, only to find yourself at the porch of a stranger. Will he help you, or leave you to your own demise? 

→ End of the World // A Flickering Hope // Shower drabble // Epilogue

... yet to come!

Coming Home [series ✅💯] 44k - 🌩️🥵🥰😂👻😈 When your best friend, Park Jimin, who you’ve had a crush on since forever, suggests you stay at his house to heal and find yourself again after a series of traumatizing events had haunted you for years, you don’t hesitate to accept. Within those walls, a safe haven is woven, where wounds can heal and memories find release. As he nurtures your shattered spirit, an unexpected intimacy unfurls, leaving the fragile barrier between friendship and deeper emotions in question - can you keep your feelings hidden?

→  Series masterlist

39,5°C (Fever) [one-shot ✅] 6.2k - 🥵 When you get sick you want three things; rest all day, eat your comfort food and have as many orgasms as you can.

→  39,5°C (Fever)

Stuck in a Snowstorm [one-shot ✅💯] 6.1k - 🥵😂 You don’t know how you ended up here. Stuck with your mortal enemy, Park Jimin, in you car – in a fucking snowstorm.

→  Stuck in a Snowstorm (part of 'the winter collection')

Stuck at a Christmas party [one-shot ✅💯] 5.1k - 🥵😂 It’s Seokjin’s Christmas party and you’re trying your best to be social with your friends, but it’s really hard when you feel the burning stare of your nemesis, Park Jimin, lighting your skin on fire. It doesn’t help when you feel his hand between your legs under the dinner table.

→  Stuck at a Christmas party (part of 'the winter collection')

Stuck in a Cabin [one-shot ✅💯] 5.5k - 🥵😂 Cute and innocent looking Park Jimin is your lifetime nemesis that you’ve already fallen into bed with not once, but twice. Will a snowy weekend trip with your friends to a cabin in the woods make it the third time you get with your enemy? 

→  Stuck in a Cabin (part of 'the winter collection')

My Heart's Home [series ✅💯] 237.6k - 🌩️🥵🥰😂 You’d never thought you’d step foot back at the ranch– a place you used to call home a long time ago. When you are forced to go back, reconcile with your sister and a certain childhood friend that you had long forgotten, will sparks reunite?

→  Series masterlist (ft. Jungkook)

Last Night in Magic Shop [one-shot ✅] 12.5k - 🥵🪄 You find yourself down at the local club, Magic Shop, because your best friend feels like your lovelife is dry as ice. You did not plan on meeting a handsome stranger, who moves his body like an angel, but speaks like the devil. Feeling like he might match your nasty needs, you take him home, enjoying an unforgettable night filled with pleasure.

→  Last Night in Magic Shop

Whalien52 [one-shot ✅] 10.6k - 🌩️🥵👻 You’ve been working for the New World Order as an assassin for years, guarding secrets without batting an eye or asking questions. But when a striking pink haired man shows up at the headquarters stealing information, he makes you question everything. With all of humanity at stake, what will you do? 

→  Whalien52 (part of end of the world series)

Skinny-dipping [drabble ✅] 1.7k - 🥵🥰 → Skinny-dipping

Say that Again (I Dare You) [one-shot ✅💯] 13.1k - 🥵 You moan in your sleep, and your boyfriend knows this, but when you keep moaning another man’s name in your sleep - and that man just happens to be one of your friends? What will Jungkook do?

→  Say that Again (I Dare You) (ft. Jimin)

Say I Do [one-shot ✅] 5.2k - 🥵 You and Jungkook tease each other at your wedding reception.

→  Say I Do

Till We Meet Again [one-shot ✅💯] 11.4k - 🥵🪄🥰😂 When your childhood friend that you had a crush on, moved away out of the blue— you never thought you’d see him again. A night swim in the ocean will have you feeling delusional, but the voice that fills your ears— sweet like cotton candy, you’d recognize that voice anywhere, it’s Jungkook.

→  Till We Meet Again (part of the '7 Summers at the Sea' series)

Please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. doing so will be considered as plagiarism and appropriate action will be taken. 

You are more than welcome to reblog, like and comment my work 🥰

[narcissosbythepool]

PriceGaz Week - Day 1 (and 4, arguably)

Poetry prompt: "& how many times have you loved me without my asking? how often have i loved a thing because you loved it? including me"

Rosie AU

Tags: Established pricegaz, past trans pregnancy, non-sexual intimacy, showering together, scars (incl. caesarean section), mild body image issues, fluff, kissing

//

Kyle has always been handsome to John. 

From the very first moment they met, John could vaguely estimate that Kyle was a good-looking guy, though at the time he didn't think much of it, busy with the whole gas operation and helping Farah. After he recruited Kyle for 141 and they began to work closer together, it kept slowly creeping up on him, the attraction, the affection. And then one day he looked at Kyle and his eyes truly opened to his beauty, the depth of his eyes, his full lips, how his brown skin glowed in sunlight. Toned body and a wicked smile, add his charming personality on top, and John found himself inevitably, inescapably falling deeper into an infatuation that then became something more.

The man who met Kyle in Piccadilly had no idea where he would end up.

The man who first noticed Kyle months later had no idea that Kyle could become, somehow, inexplicably even more alluring.

John knew the changes to Kyle's body from the pregnancy, and even postpartum, were not the easiest for Kyle to process. John knew that no matter how much and thoroughly he convinced that Kyle was still gorgeous to him, it did not really matter as long as it bothered Kyle. Now, nearly 18 months later, Kyle is almost back to the shape he was before the pregnancy, and he seems more comfortable in his skin than he has in ages.

Fatherhood also suits him well. He's become irresistible. John doesn't know how he's able to keep his hands off at any time. And he doesn't – whenever he's back home he finds himself touching Kyle constantly. Pressing a hand to the small of his back at every chance, caressing his face and hair, giving him hundreds and then thousands of kisses so that they lose count by the time he has to go.

He had already thought he had found the love of his life, that this was the extent of how much a human heart could handle affection – and then came their little Rosanna and grew his heart at least three sizes just to contain all of his devotion for her. With all the hard work that comes with parenthood, she's truly his everything. Not a day goes by that he doesn't miss her, want to hold her and watch her grow, become a person in this frightening world. Her smile is the reason he keeps going, her laugh and little arms around his neck life's greatest gift. 

So naturally watching Kyle interact with her makes his brain break. 

Kyle is so comfortable with her – it's no wonder, they've spent 18 months together, a criminal amount of it alone as John's been gone. Kyle's attentive to her every need and when they look at each other it's clear that they're each other's world. John is merely grateful he's allowed within this galaxy of parental wonder. He'll make it up, he tries each time he comes back, but he also finds it sweet that the two people he loves the most in this world adore each other like this. Kyle handles her with ease, taking everything in stride, be it tearful meltdowns or Rosie’s boundless energy. She is such a happy little child and John could not be more grateful that his absence doesn’t seem to have affected her sense of safety in the world.

He’s watching now as Kyle puts Rosie to bed (he insisted on doing it tonight, claiming that ‘you’re hogging her all to yourself, let me have a moment’, which isn’t untrue). 

“Say ‘good night’ to Da,” Kyle tells Rosie, to which Rosie replies “Night-night!” and they both turn to wave at John, who waves back, clearly being chased out – fine, he can take the hint, and he blows a kiss to the pieces of his heart and then closes the door behind him. He listens by the door as Kyle starts reading a story to Rosie.

“Now that Da has stopped eavesdropping,” he begins and John rolls his eyes, finally tearing himself from the door. He takes a look at the flat and then sets himself to cleaning up the day’s activities. He gathers Rosie’s toys and arranges them in their respective boxes, puts all the pillows back on the sofa, and then turns to the kitchen, filling up the dishwasher as quietly as he can, resolving to get to the frying pan tomorrow, and then wipes the counters, the table and the tray of Rosie’s high chair.

With all that done, he looks around and there’s just… nothing else to do. He should welcome the quiet, and he does on some level – life with a toddler isn’t the easiest thing in the world, no matter how adorable and sweet Rosanna is, but he still doesn’t feel the pull of sleep like he usually does at the end of the day. 

No can do – he’s restless. Leaves have always been tough for him, his mind constantly in mission-mode. It was worse, before, he would pace around like a restless dog yearning for a run, and he would do that too. Run for miles, try to distract his mind from the emptiness around him. Now it’s different, with Kyle and Rosie, and he’s happy that he can channel all of his restless energy into spending time with his daughter. Give some alone-time and well-earned rest to Kyle and make sure that he bonds with his daughter properly before he has to go again. 

Rosie still cries when he leaves. It tears him apart every time.

He glances at the clock. It’s only 7pm, normal bedtime for Rosie, perhaps even a bit early, but she was getting cranky and getting her to sleep before a meltdown is always better. She’ll most likely fall asleep mid-story again, which is always very cute, but it will take some time and John now has to figure out what to do in the meantime. 

He ends up scrolling on his phone on the sofa and bothering Nikolai, trying his best not to ask about work things. These days he really tries to disengage from work, try out the whole work-and-life balance thing that’s all the rage these days. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year and a half already, of living this new life of his – being a father (the thought still makes him feel a bit dizzy), returning home to his family, being the kind of person who gets to leave work to his workplace and then just… be done. Be home.

He’s still really bad with alone time, though. Waiting for Kyle to re-emerge from Rosie’s room feels like it takes forever, and John can’t help but be reminded of a dog again.

He looks up when he hears the door and Kyle smiles at him.

“She fell asleep fast,” John lies and Kyle yawns. 

“I almost fell asleep first,” he admits and then joins John on the sofa. John opens his arms and Kyle settles sideways on his lap, practised by now in the fine art of cuddling. 

“No TV tonight?” John asks and Kyle presses his face against John’s neck, and then nods.

“Can’t concentrate,” Kyle admits. “I don’t understand how I’m this tired…”

A thought occurs to John. “How about,” he suggests, “we take a shower?”

“In that case,” Kyle concurs and then leans in to kiss John’s cheek. “What are we waiting for?”

Kyle slowly raises his head. “Too tired for sex, too.”

“That’s why I suggested showering,” John raises a brow at him and Kyle flushes a little. 

“For you to get off my lap,” John replies cheekily and gets a light tug on his beard.

“Piss off,” Kyle chuckles and then blesses John with another kiss. 

John gets them the softest towels he can find and takes the baby monitor to the bathroom just in case. Kyle waits for him there already, still clothed, helping him out of his shirt and pants and dropping them to the laundry bin (which seem to have multiplied ever since they had their baby). When it’s Kyle’s turn, they both halt.

“How are you feeling today?” John asks. “Clothes on or off?”

Kyle swallows. This is always a bit of a difficult thing for them – they enjoy the intimacy of being skin-to-skin, but recently Kyle has had days when he’s just not feeling like feeling or looking at his body. Be it the sensory overload of parenting a tactile toddler or dysphoria, the reasons differ or intertwine, some days being touched and seen is overwhelming for him. John’s tried to make it clear that he never expects anything, is willing to go by Kyle’s wishes no matter what, but he knows Kyle worries about this.

Still John asks every time.

“Off,” Kyle says then. John resists the urge to ask if he’s certain – he’s learned that Kyle does not enjoy fussing, and would rather John take him at his word. 

John lets Kyle take off his own clothes, as much as he longs to touch, but then Kyle plasters himself against John’s body and John’s arms come around to pull him closer into the embrace.

“Hi,” Kyle mumbles against his skin and John is met with such a rush of fondness that he has to close his eyes for a moment.

“Hello there. Ready?”

Kyle nods and then pulls back just to slide his hands from behind John’s back over his sides, all the way to his pecs, lovingly caressing his chest and the hair there. John enjoys the petting, lifting his hand to cup the back of Kyle’s head and press a kiss on his forehead. Kyle chuckles, until his gaze falls on John’s arm – specifically the tattoo there.

A simple rose, with Rosanna’s birth date on it. There are many marks of life on John’s body and this one he’s the proudest of. He got it not that long after Rosie’s birth. Kyle follows the shape of it, the series of numbers, with his fingers, and then presses a gentle kiss on John’s shoulder, then his neck, a trail of soft kisses all the way up to his jaw.

“Yeah,” Kyle sighs in his ear and John feels heady with Kyle’s undivided attention. His hand travels to Kyle’s ribs, to the tattoo commemorating their daughter right under his top surgery scar on the left. A stylized bee design, mimicking their nickname for Rosie, and her birth date next to it. He knows the lines of it by heart, doesn’t even need to look. The symbols of their daughter permanently etched in their skin feels appropriate – she turned their lives upside down, and it would not be fair if the inner workings of their souls were not reflected externally. 

Close to the heart, always.

They step in the shower hand in hand and John makes sure the water temperature is warm enough before they step under the spray. He pulls Kyle close again and for a moment they just stand there under the water, brows pressed together and eyes closed, taking in the skin contact and closeness.

He lets Kyle take charge, as much as he yearns to touch and pamper him – but Kyle seems determined to be the active participant today, and John’s still not sure where they stand on the whole touching thing today. So he lets Kyle soap him, lets the touch ground him as Kyle washes his body, hands roaming gentle, stopping every now and then to appreciate a detail – a gnarly old scar by his shoulder; the expanse of his chest; another wide, deep scar from a knife wound across his waist (almost spilled his guts in Latvia); and throughout John watches him with soft eyes, feeling loved and cherished. 

“My turn?” he asks finally, and Kyle returns to him with yet another sweet kiss.

“Sure.”

John repeats the same process: soaps Kyle thoroughly, washes him clean of sweat and the day’s grime, and presses kisses to his shoulders and neck whenever he can reach. His hands follow the lines of Kyle’s body – the toned muscles, the softness of his dark skin, stalling by the stretch marks he adores. He knows Kyle isn’t the biggest fan of them, but John loves them. He runs his fingers over them.

“Gorgeous,” he murmurs and Kyle cups his cheek, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb.

“So you’ve told me.”

“It’s true. Every time.”

Kyle answers with a smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling with delight, and John has to keep going to keep himself from crumbling on the spot.

He traces Kyle’s scars with reverence, as always. He knows them all by heart: that’s from when he ordered Gaz to rescue the hostages; this one’s from when he told Gaz to leave them. That’s from a gunshot wound from a sniper John didn’t notice; there’s a stab wound from Gaz covering for Soap. All these marks of life on him, and yet—

“I love this one the most,” John says, tracing the C-section scar across Kyle’s abdomen. It’s healed by now, but still clear – he knows it occasionally bothers Kyle, but John himself is positively obsessed with it.

“Yeah?” Kyle chuckles. “How so?”

“It feels like I put it there,” John says, transfixed on the darker line contrasting against Kyle’s beautiful brown skin. The truth is – he thinks most of Kyle’s scars, received after he joined John’s task force, as his. Both with the occasional guilt, but also with a sense of devotion. Kyle got these scars because of his orders.

This one, though. This one he knows he’s responsible  for.

Kyle knows this, and throws his head back with a rich laugh. “You’re deranged.”

“Yup,” John replies and then leans in to chase Kyle’s laugh with his lips, pulling him into a deep kiss once again. Kyle hums in his mouth and then pulls back with a sweet little peck.

“You know what I like about you?” Kyle asks, hooking his arms around John’s shoulders.

“Mmhm?”

“You always make me feel better about myself.”

“Really now?”

“Swear. You compliment me and say nice things.”

“Of course. You’ll always be gorgeous to me,” he says and Kyle grins.

“Yep, that’s what I mean,” he chuckles, bringing them nose to nose, nearly touching. “You’ve made me like many things. Including myself.”

It’s suddenly hard to speak. He parts his mouth but nothing comes out, and Kyle closes the distance, kissing him right on his stupefied face, the tip of his nose, then his cheek and finally his lips – by then John’s brain has caught on and he returns the kiss with a gentle kind of cupidity.

“The least I can do,” he murmurs. Kyle laughs again, the sweetest sound.

“And that’s why I love you,” Kyle says to that, sincere and heavy, and John doesn’t know how to verbalise the depth of emotion he feels – love just isn’t enough, with his entire being yearning to merge their very souls into one spinning spiral of light. Who else could he stand with in the water, like this, just exist together like the entire world revolves around them? Who else would he spend the rest of his life with? It feels impossible to even think that this could ever end, and he does not even dare to imagine such an impossibility.

“You alright there?” Kyle wipes a thumb over his cheek and John can’t tell if he’s wiping away a stray droplet of water or tears, and he doesn’t really care. 

“Yeah,” he says weakly. “I love you too.”

“Wow, for a moment I was worried you wouldn’t say it back,” Kyle teases – as if John could ever deny him the confession. He replies by brushing the tip of his nose against Kyle’s.

“Like I could resist.”

They enjoy the hot water, holding each other close, until the tips of their fingertips are all pruny.

John dries Kyle with the soft towel, takes his time with it, and Kyle lets him, understanding that John needs this moment to wind down from the emotional intensity. He gets on his knees to dry Kyle’s legs and when he looks up, it’s a sight from his dreams: Kyle looking down at him with a benevolent smile, like some saint, and John can’t resist but press a reverent kiss on the scar on his abdomen.

You’ve given me everything, he wants to say, you’re like a painting by the renaissance masters; I’d build a cathedral to your worship if you gave me the word; you’re the father of my child and I can never thank you enough.

But perhaps Kyle understands – he lifts John’s chin with two of his fingers and pulls him up to his feet as if tethered to his touch. 

“Let’s get to bed,” he says. 

Kyle’s word is law, so John dries them both as carefully and hastily as he can. 

They change into their pyjamas (a matching set – a gift joke from Dotty, but in frequent use nonetheless) and climb under the covers, Kyle settling in John’s arms as easy as breathing, like their bodies were made to be moulded together like this. 

On their way to bed, he lingers for a moment by Rosie’s nursery, eager to peek in and see if everything’s alright. He feels a touch to his elbow and it’s Kyle, gesturing with the baby monitor in his hand.

“She’s fine,” he says and tugs John by the arm. “Come to bed.”

He’s gorgeous. He’s everything John could ever have wished for and was convinced for so long that he didn’t deserve, couldn’t even dream of this reality. And yet here he is – sleeping in the same bed with his partner, their toddler dozing away in the next room, and it really can’t get better than this. And he owes it all to this man in his arms, the man of his dreams, the man—

“Stop thinking and go to sleep.”

He’s barely able to stop the audible laugh bubbling in his chest. Best not to wake their little one behind the wall.

“Yes, sir.”

END.

[honeytonedhottie]

so you're my only hope and i really wish for your advice. it's humiliating to say my story but i really need help. so i was misdiagnosed with schizofrenia (i 100% know i'm healthy) i need to lie that i have schizofrenia because my mother needs money. and here comes my desires : revision and desired age/grade level and maaany more. i have no responsibilities literally zero! the way i manifest is i walk around my room and viseualise, affirm and overall manifest which is fun but the thing is do you think i should build healthy day routine instead of just pacing around my room all day long? could you provide me a routine? thank you for help because yall are saving me for real. it could be even self care habits to do every day anything to avoid pacing around

thank you for coming to me 💗 and im so sorry about ur story. im so happy that you know the law because you deserve all of ur desires and more!! 💗

so to build a healthy routine and schedule for urself. doing so builds discipline. im gonna give u some healthy habits, a morning and evening routine, and resources for those things. a good place to start tho is making a weekly agenda that changes with the week, something to switch things up every week. just make one 💗💗💗

—healthy habits🩰⊹ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ♡̴ ⋆⁺₊⋆

♡ moving ur body/pilates - i personally do pilates and i recommend it to literally everybody. but the basic idea is to move around (and that does not mean pacing in ur bedroom) i mean get ur blood flowing and get moving. it doesn’t have to be pilates it can be running, a sport, dancing, yoga etc

here’s a link to one of the pilates workouts that i recommend if ur a beginner : 

♡ get a hobby - some hobby recommendations: if u are good at writing try poetry, try teaching urself how to draw or paint or sculpt, learn how to dance, learn how to play an instrument, learn a sport, learn languages, become a good cook, write stories, start a blog, learn to sew or crotchet, learn tech, read lots of books, watch/listen to lots of podcasts. literally just get busy 

♡ meditating and journaling - this is so good not only for ur mental health but it can also improve focus and keep u grounded. keep a journal or start meditating every day

here’s a link to a guided meditation for self love : 

♡ self care - i LOVE self care. literally practice self care every single day. take care of ur nails, skin, hair, lashes EVERYTHING. be super intentional with ur self care bcuz it tells our brains that we are worthy of effort and it’ll LITERALLY make u feel like a princess. 

♡ manifesting - you mentioned that u wanted to do some revision so something that i recommend for revising is using SATS. or state akin to sleep. once ur in state akin to sleep go back in ur mind and revise whatever u want. or just do SATS before bed every night. this is such a powerful manifesting tool

♡ sleep - aim to get between eight to ten hours of sleep a night. you’ll look better, feel better, and your physical and mental health will just skyrocket 

—morning🌸⊹ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ♡̴ ⋆⁺₊⋆

♡̴ first thing in the morning, fix ur bed 

♡ open the blinds/windows if the sun is out, this all depends on what time u wake up but if the sun isn’t out just skip this step 

♡ stretch for a couple minutes 

♡ write down at least three things that ur grateful for (don’t write down what u aren’t grateful for AT THAT MOMENT, literally just write down three things that ur grateful for right then and there) 

♡ brush ur teeth and use a tongue scraper 

♡ have a glass of water with some lemon slices 

♡ take a warm shower and moisturize 

♡ skincare routine 

♡ put on an outfit that makes u feel pretty 

♡ if u get nauseous when u eat breakfast then try eating something light, but if that doesn’t work then listen to ur body and just skip breakfast. if that’s not the case tho eat a balanced breakfast 

THEN GET TO WORK ON YOUR AGENDA THAT I MENTIONED IN THE BEGINNING<3 

—evening🍥⊹ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ♡̴ ⋆⁺₊⋆

♡ take a warm shower and moisturize 

♡ 30-60 minutes of self care and pampering 

♡ make a yummy dinner that’s nourishing 

♡ read for 20 minutes or watch something that enriches u 

♡ evening yoga 

♡ drink water 15 minutes before bed 

THEN GO TO SLEEP AND HAVE SWEET DREAMS <3 

this is just an idea, or a basic guideline to follow if u need it. customize it to ur specific needs and day-to-day life. im so excited for all ur desires to manifest cuz u deserve it! mwah 💗💗💗

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-Read: The Remington Comic [PART 1]

(but only the bits with Joris)

While I usually try to go about this blog in an in-universe chronological way, I have to jump forward to Wakfu era here — because the next stop in this blog's plan is the actual, released games of the franchise. Which will take around... a million years, I assume?

TOME 10

Worlds most mentally stable demigod. This excerpt from Otakia is included for my Ush-loving readers, and also to give some context: this guy is keeping some of Remington's besties captive, besides turning his brother into a cat.

"Wait… you're taking me to a… bazaar? am I dreaming?" "Pff… wait till you see what's inside."

In the past tome of this comic, Remington and Grany received a tip, that there exists a magical item that can help them, and an address to a shop, as well as the name "Beating Heart".

ALSO. The store has door chimes. Cute.

"Anyone?" "Yeah, I've seen enough." "They have potions, at least." "Grrr..." "What is that thing?" "??"

They don't seem to really like the place, lol.

"Let's see… "The Treasures of Kerubim"… O.K… We're looking for someone called "Beating Heart."" "Is he the owner of this store?" "Anyone home?" "If we can't find this clown, we could compensate ourselves for the trip." "Hello, sir."

SDGJSAHGUISREHGVDSFHGHHAFGSDFKJGDKSFGSDFGSFDHJS

If you think this is awkward, don't worry. It gets worse from here. Also — apparently, the name of the series is officially the name of the store. The more you know!

Well done little fella… You managed to surprise us.

AND YES. They use tu/toi for the., the 600yo ambassador of Bonta. who is also the owner of the store. who also just overheard them discussing shoplifting.

We're looking for a guy named… sir Beating Heart. Y'know him? Maybe that's your father? It is not my father… It is an object. And… the owner of this store, then? Where is he? In front of you. ... So… uh… you say "beating heart" is an object. Sure. And... could we perhaps see it, that beating heart?

HE'S SO FUCKING DONE ALREADY. he HATES them. also him saying he is the owner is so funny, even if it ISN'T a lie. Like. The store is named and themed after a whole different guy.

Insane.

Beating heart... beating heart... Listen to the rhythm of the heart, replace the rhythm of the body. Beating heart, beating heart... Out of sight… Out of mind… Will you give your soul the time?

Very cool poetry, Joris. I do wonder if this is him talking to himself to remember where it is, him liking this rhythm, or him fucking with Remington for his own amusement.

Please wait here. Careful, Mr. Curious. Small chests can contain big trouble Let's have a closer look. Yeah, bring it quick. Here it is, Beating Heart.

He's so used to shitty rude customers. The fact that he keeps vous/vous'ing them is funny. The fact he only calls Remi "mr. curious" is pretty emblematic of his saintly patience.

Say hello to Beating Heart first. Huh? Say hello to a watch? You have to be kind to objects… each one has its own story to tell. Say hello to Beating Heart… you too, funny talking bow meow. Hello? Hello, Beating Heart… delighted to meet your needle. And how does it work? No idea… Objects do whatever they want. I already have a hard time putting them away. One day, a set of table knives wouldn't stand next to an old sword… a real headache, those two.

I refuse to believe that this scene is not Joris deciding to simply fuck with Remington and Grany, by saying insane things for his own amusement, and making them talk to a clock.

That or he's more mentally ill than I thought. Oh well.

You talk to objects and they talk back! better and better… I know how to listen to them, but that doesn't mean they talk to me. But how can this watch help me? Listen, little guy, my brother suffered a kind of curse. An ecaflip named Ush cast a spell on him that turned him into a bow meow. Ush? The bontarian nobleman?

Either Joris sensed he was being taken way too seriously and backed down, or he decided to go "nah they don't talk to me i just listen to them" route because he knew it'd be a way to confuse the two further and he finds that amusing, or he didn't want to come across as crazy.

But in the end, his reign of making them confused as fuck ends with their mention of Ush — with whom Joris has history, and yet, all Joris says is "bontarian nobleman"... He's hiding that history. Because now he's interested.

And it seems that this Beating Heart could help me become a rogue again. Beating Heart has the ability to give its wearer what they desire most. But to use Beating heart, you need the proficiency in magic that you don't have. It's not for sale, sorry. But for your time, I've got a magic hat that curls your hair. Do you know where you can stick that hat? You little piece of…. brat! Come on, come on… excuse him… he's having a bit of a bad hair day right now.

Notice how fast Joris switches gears: he brought these two this amulet, and was showing it off, before, immediately after Ush's mention, rapidly going "you won't be able to use it, I will not sell it, also your hair sucks ass".

As we will see later, you don't need deep magical skill to use it — you need some self-control, so I really doubt Joris was genuine here.

I have multiple theories:

Joris doesn't want beating heart, a powerful magic item, anywhere near Ush's schemes.

Joris wants them to steal it so that he has an excuse to involve himself in Ush's schemes like the noisy curtain twitcher he is. If this transaction is legitimate, he has no excuse like "UMMM YOUR VICTIMS BROKE INTO MY STORE REPLY TO ME IMMEDIATELY ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING???"

Considering the fact that he puts it away under a glass dome, as Remington and Grany, rogues, watch (and they HAVE talked about robbing him) — I am leaning more strongly towards theory #2.

Thank you for everything, dear friend. No, no, you're not going to tip him on top of it! Hey bro? what's not for sale is up for grabs… As we rogues say. That's right… tonight, beating heart will be mine… he he he.

If my theory of this being a honeypot by Joris is right — then hook, line, and sinker.

On one hand, he doesn't exactly look like he's scheming, on other — he doesn't look too worried.

I think at this moment, his main concern is Ush.

(side note, he's drawn really well in this panel...)

[captainofthedauntless]

S/O's Hobbies HCs

This wasn't requested, but I wrote down the first little idea and then it snowballed wildly out of my control. Have some Bay Boys and how they engage with their partner's hobbies.

Like their namesakes suggest, these are Renaissance men, okay? They do a bit of everything (partially because they've always had a lot of time to fill), and they absolutely want to learn about whatever you do.

Donnie is naturally curious across the board. He wants to know a bit about everything all the time- and you happen to be his favorite subject to study! Even if your hobbies aren't his thing, he absolutely wants to learn about them.

He also loves to apply his own knowledge to them! If he knows something about it that you might not, he loves to offer it up- exchange of knowledge is this guy's love language. He's careful not to sound condescending, he's just excited!

If you're into woodwork, he's over the moon- he hates doing it himself. He'd much rather weld for three days straight than have to work with wood for any significant period of time. However, he does love dropping tree facts on you ("You know, this tree is actually considered invasive in parts of Europe.").

If you're into anything with a chemistry element, like cooking or baking (or makeup or traditional art), he's all about it. He views it all from a very chemistry-heavy angle, so he adores hearing and seeing your thought process and perspective. He knows how the ingredients you're using (or were used in your supplies) work together to create the end product, but he loves to learn about how you use them.

If you're any kind of performer, he loves seeing you practice! Please show him videos of your performances, he'll love every single second. He is your biggest cheerleader. He'll notice little details in your work ("I love how you said that line! Quick and angry but still speaking so clearly- that's so impressive, love." or "Oh!! That spin! Look at you go!" or "That note was perfect, sweetheart- I could listen to this all day.") and will absolutely study up on your art of choice so that he can better appreciate what you do!

Same with sports! He loves to watch any clips you have, even if they're from your friend's shitty eight year old camera that has about 12 pixels to offer. Don would absolutely do drills with you if you asked- pitch a ball, guard a goal, swing a bat, whatever. He likes trading warm up and cool down routines, too!

You're into mechanics? Machinery? He's so excited to compare notes. You love driving- or even better, being driven? Dates on the road. All the time.

If you write, he would love to read anything you'll give him! If you write nonfiction, he loves to see your thoughts and findings and keeps a little notepad of questions and observations to talk to you about. If you're a fiction person, he loves to find your voice in the descriptions and characters! He gets absorbed in the story- right up until he sees a phrase you use a lot around him, and he has to take a second to be all smiley because he loves you before he keeps reading. Poetry? He somehow admires you even more than he already did. Will absolutely ask you if he can print a copy of one of your poems to keep by his computers- it doesn't take long at all before he could recite your work from memory.

Please tell him all about your creative choices, no matter what your hobby is. Painting? Tell him why you chose those colors, that angle, that medium. Dance? Talk about why you chose that song and did that wave with your arm. Music? Explain why you switched up the notes in that cover you did, or why you chose the chords you did in that song you wrote. Writing? He wants to hear about every single scrapped concept.

If you have a performance or a game or a display of any kind, he's absolutely either sneaking his way to watch- even if it's through a window or skylight- or hacking into whatever camera he can.

If you give him something you've made- be it a painting, something you wrote, a sculpture, a bowl, a stuffed animal, whatever- it's going where he'll see it every single day. It's his prized possession. It makes him smile even when he feels like shit.

Leo's a big believer in the value of mindful hobbies. He uses his to relax (something that does not come naturally to him, especially these days), but also to keep his mind as sharp as his swords.

He's an even big believer in the value of you. He loves sharing his life with you, and cherishes any time you share yours with him- including your hobbies!

This acts of service bitch will do anything he can to help you out with your hobbies. If you're an artist with traditional mediums or makeup, he's offering to wash your brushes. If you paint on wood or canvas, he's happy to prep them for you. If you work with watercolor, he's emptying and refilling your paint water as often as you want. You're building something and need supplies or equipment held or moved? You mean, an excuse to show off help his partner? He's in heaven.

Any gear or equipment you use that needs to be cleaned, he's there and ready to help. However, he's careful to only help with permission- the boys all have a lot of respect for people's possessions and space. There weren't many ways to separate their things growing up, and even fewer things to separate, so (with some siblings-gonna-sib exceptions) they're all very, very good about not touching your shit. Leo specifically makes the comparison to his katana- if someone cleaned them without his permission, he'd be royally pissed. He's not about to do that to you. Just know that all you have to do is ask, and it's as good as done! (And it's done well, too. He'll pay intense attention to your instructions and follow them to the letter, taking his time and moving very carefully.)

He's a bit intense in general, actually. When you're showing him your work or your process, you have his entire focus. Nothing else matters. It's sweet, but it probably makes you trip over a few words while you're explaining.

He puts the constructive in constructive criticism. Critique is the key to improvement in his opinion, so he's definitely offering his thoughts unless you specifically ask him not to. A big part of Leonardo's life is wanting to be the best he can possibly be, and he does everything he can to help his loved ones do the same, including you! You whip up a meal? "This is delicious, baby. I think a little char would make it legitimately perfect." You're practicing choreography? "Looking good! Swing that leg just a little higher!" Writing? He's the perfect beta reader, if you really want to catch errors. He has a flawless eye for misplaced commas.

He loves anything to do with words, so if you're a writer, songwriter, poet, actor, whatever? He's delighted. He soaks up your work like a tree soaks up sunshine. Words have power, and you have power, and putting the two together means he's in awe. Will read and reread your work as many times as he can if you write. If you're a speaker- actor, spoken poet, whatever- he's front and center for every practice session you let him witness. Will take notes on his favorite moments and shower you in praise after.

He also loves music. Loves it. You play an instrument? The moment you're willing to share, he LIVES to hear you play. You sing? He's pretty sure he's actually falling more in love, and he didn't know that was possible. You're an avid listener? Please, please, please share your favorite tracks and albums and artists with him. Please have him over to your place- away from the noise of Don's work and Raph's weights and Mikey's Mikeying- and put on your favorite record and cuddle up to listen. Listening dates are one of his favorites- one of his favorite activities with one of his favorite people? Bliss. Add in some snacks and he's pretty sure it's what perfection feels like. (If you really, really want to make him happy? Listen to his music with him, too. Talk about it with him after. Tell him which songs you loved and how you noticed the beat in Song A matched the beat in Song B, and they felt like they belonged together.)

If you're an athlete, he's all about learning everything there is to know about your sport and your personal routine. He's a big fan of learning from as many different disciplines as possible, so he loves to hear about all of the little details. What stretches you do, what exercises you rely on, how you practice- all of it! He'll incorporate parts of it into his own routines if he sees benefits for his own body and abilities.

Honor Boy will also sneak his way into whatever events you have, be it a gallery or a performance or a competition. If there's a shadowy spot to hide, he's there! If not, he's finding a secluded window. Failing that, he's not above asking Don for help with cameras. (It will be on the down low, though. He doesn't need Raph and Mikey making fun of him for the next six years for being too impatient to wait for the photos and video you'll share later.)

Give him something you've made? It's getting put in the safest spot he can possibly come up with, and he looks at it every morning. It becomes a part of his routine- brush teeth, stretch, look at wonderful gift from wonderful partner and think about how lucky he is. It's instant stress relief. You cared enough about him to make something, you trusted him enough to give him the result of your time and energy. He loves it and he loves you and he loves having another reminder of you in his space.

Mikey has the strangest, most eclectic bunch of information tucked away in his mind. He goes on YouTube journeys bouncing from one suggested video to another and has learned a little bit about all sorts of obscure topics, so there's a decent chance he'll surprise you with prior knowledge of your interests! Into history? He saw this crazy video about agriculture in India in the 1500s- he should totally pull it up for you! You're a welder? He's picked up some of the basics by hanging around Donnie, just enough to know how damn impressive your work is, and follow along with what you're saying. He knows an almost unsettling amount about the arts in general, too.

Dance, cooking, baking, music, painting, drawing, sculpting- hell, origami? He's done a little bit of all of it, and would love to learn all about your methods. He wants to see (or hear!) everything you create. He eats that shit up.

He's the loudest, happiest, most extra cheerleader you could ever possibly hope for. He will offer critique if you ask, but it's always always sandwiched by compliments- not because he wants to soften the critique, but because he genuinely thinks you're the shit. You're the next great master, his name be damned. Anything you do has notes of you in it, and he adores you more than he will ever be able to put into words (not for lack of trying), so obviously he adores your work.

You're a performer? He's the best audience ever, baby! He's fully focused on you, cheering as much as you can tolerate, straight up whooping when you do something particularly impressive. "Lookin' good, baby cakes!" and "Go off, cutiepie!" and "You're the next Shakespeare, sweets."

You make something? He's in awe. He's admiring every little aspect of it. Every stitch, stroke, flavor, whatever.

You make him something? He's is literally protecting it with his life. Anyone even looks at it wrong and he's ready to get rude. (Now, nobody's safe from him making them look at it. He shows it off every chance he gets. You're very lucky you make Mikey so happy, because otherwise Raph might start to dislike you a little for how often he has to look at it. Raph does make comments, though. "No more gifts until the holidays. I can't take any more show'n'tell sessions from this nitwit." Subtext? Mikey loves it, you make him happy, good job.)

Please let Mikey join in your hobbies. Out of all four, he's by far the most excited to get hands-on. Teach him to make your favorite recipes, teach him choreography, challenge him to matches in your sport of choice. Have painting dates. Trade mediums with him and teach him what you know- and let him teach you his! Have him help you build a table! Have jam sessions with your respective instruments! Whatever you're into, try and find a way to include him. He's gonna love you forever anyway, but that will really be the cherry on top.

Like Leo, he loves a listening date, so if you're into music please share it with him! His are much noisier, though. It's damn near a karaoke night, and he's probably dancing around like a dumbass and asking you to join him. (Please join him.)

You're performing, competing, showing off your work? He is there. He actually does not give a shit what Leo says about it, either. You'll see him, too. He'll be sure of it. He's sneaky and subtle and will be hidden from your audience, but you'll know he's there to support you, even if he has to text you a selfie from his hiding spot with a fuckton of emojis and words of encouragement.

You say you're "just" anything, and this guy is ready to go off. "Just" a beginner? Bitch, please. That's how everyone starts- and look what you're doing already! "Just" an extra? That's where movies get their depth! That's how plays feel alive! Extras give the story dimension, baby! "Just" backup vocals? First of all, you're upstaging the lead by miles in his book. Secondly, without you, none of that sweet harmonizing would be there! He's relentless and will convince you of your own amazingness or die trying.

Raph's quality time ass is a SUCKER for learning about your hobbies. He wants to hear you talk about them for hours. He wants you to sit in his lap and show him something you made and explain every little detail. He wants to watch you practice.

He's pretty private about his hobbies beyond martial arts and lifting, so he sees you sharing yours as trusting him with part of you. It means more to him than he's ever going to say unless you express a similar opinion- he feels too corny trying to articulate it himself. He's worried you wouldn't see it as being that deep, and he'd sound cheesy. But if you say it, he's agreeing wholeheartedly.

If you really want to make him feel loved, tell him about what goes into whatever you do. What inspires you? What does it make you feel? Why do you do it? Why that specifically? How'd you start? All the fine print details that make the hobby personal to you- share them with him. He wants to know, and he knows how personal his hobbies are to him, so you sharing that information makes him feel extremely special. He loves to connect with you like that. It's doubly important if you create from emotion- Big Red has big ass emotions and channels a lot of them into things he does, so if you do the same, he feels like you're got that much more in common. Like you get him even more than he thought.

He's the most subtle and relaxed about your hobbies outwardly, but never to the point of looking disinterested. You know him well enough to know exactly what that look in his eyes means- he's invested as hell and is downright studying whatever you're doing. He reads up on your hobbies on his own time, because he doesn't want to make a fool of himself by not knowing something "obvious", and tries to subtly slip that knowledge into his questions and comments. ("Why'd you go for the ladder stitch, babe?"). It's sweet- especially because he soaks up any information you give him like a damn sponge. He remembers more than you remember even telling him.

If you're into something he has some history with- mechanics, woodwork, knitting, athletics- he's constantly absorbing your methods. If you're observant, you'll start to notice little details done the same way you'd do them. Some of it is a conscious recognition of your knowledge and competency, and some of it is his subconscious absorption of you into every possible aspect of his life. Your metaphorical fingerprints are on everything.

If you're an athlete, he wants to work out together. He'll incorporate exercises that you do into his routines just so you can do them together. He loves it- not just because you're hot, or because it's when he feels the most attractive, but because he loves what you can do. He loves seeing your body at work. There's a level of attraction there, obviously, because he finds you exceptionally hot (even if you don't feel that way about yourself!), but a lot of it is very innocent love for what your body allows you to do. He loves movement, loves working out, loves being physical, and getting to share that with you is very special to him.

Your number one supporter. I don't care what you do. He may not get it, but he'll be damned if you doubt that he loves it, loves that you do it, and supports you with every ounce of his being. Anything he can do to help you do what you love, he's doing.

He loves to hang out while you do your thing. He just likes being in your space.

And, yeah, he's gonna be there for any exhibit, competition, performance, whatever. Consequences be damned, he's going. He'll only tell you beforehand if he thinks it would help you to know, though, and he probably doubts it. If you don't tell him straight up that you wish he could be there, he probably assumes it wouldn't help. He'll tell you after, though, pulling you in with his hands on your hips and "You were amazing out there, y'know that? I'm proud of you." and squeezing you gently.

If you make him something, he's going to try and play it cool, but he's like, massively impacted by it. Externally, he's "Thanks, baby," and slipping an arm over your shoulders and pulling you close. The only indication that he's a gooey mess on the inside is the way he holds what you made (like it's made of glass, of diamonds, like it's his actual heart in his hands and one wrong move would have devastating consequences) and the way his eyes don't drift from it for long (studying it, eyes all soft and fond and in awe, a lot like how he looks at you).

He'll rearrange everything he owns to give it a place of honor. It's treated with care and respect, and he stares at it at night and when he's having a rough time and it takes the edge off. It's like micro-dosing on you, on the love and joy you bring to his life, and it makes everything significantly less shitty.

[mossy-petrichor]

Mossy Petrichor's healthy coping 101

Do you always dissociate from distressing situations, repress strong emotions or deal with stress by self harming? Do you have 0 idea what it means when people talk about "coping"? This post is for you!

I usually see this happen a lot in people who were emotionally neglected (like yours truly), which is unfortunately really common, but no less traumatizing

Psa: all of this is based off my own experience, as someone who also had no idea how to cope and learned it by themselves. This isn't medical advice!

So, what does coping mean?

When you go through a stressful situation, you can feel your emotions at a 10/10. To cope is to bring this down so you don't lose your mind. This can apply to anger, sadness, hopelessness, fear

I like to separate coping into two ways:

Expressing the emotions in a healthy way

Calming yourself and bringing the emotions down (when you can't express them, or when those emotions do more harm than good)

I usually go by 1, but 2 can be used for when, for example, feeling angry at someone who can't change. So you keep feeling this anger that you can't do anything about, and it'll just make you feel worse to keep feeling it whenever you look at this person

Here's some things to make sure to do if you're feeling shitty:

Drink water

Eat a meal

Shower/bathe

Take a nap

Move your body (go outside if you can)

Socialize, talk to friends

(think of yourself as an animal in the zoo. If you noticed them feeling bad, what would you do to make them feel better?)

Here's some examples of how to express emotions healthily:

Singing loudly, screaming, humming, stimming verbally, talking to yourself out loud about what made you feel bad

Acting, drawing, painting (it doesn't have to be perfect! Just express whatever those emotions feel like, in whichever way feels right)

Writing poetry, visual poetry, making playlists, writing (like projecting into a character, make them do the things you wish you could do to cope)

Writing about how you feel, crying, venting (can be counterproductive, so if you feel like venting is just making things worse, try something else!)

Dancing, jumping, running/walking, exercising, cleaning, stimming physically

Ripping paper, chewing on something

Baking or cooking, going outside, playing with animals, gardening, taking pictures

Here's some examples of how to calm your emotions when you can't express them:

Watch something that makes you laugh

Consume comfort media (make a list! Videos, series, movies, books, songs)

Play a chill game

Make a list of things that make you happy and read it

Listening to music

Taking deep breaths, tensing and relaxing your muscles

Engage with things that make you happy (a hobby, art, an interest)

Meditation, sitting and thinking about your emotions

This isn't an extensive list! Coping is a very personal thing, and all of these are suggestions if you don't know where to start! In the beginning, it can (and will) feel like it doesn't do anything, because you're used to immediate solutions to make you stop feeling unpleasant emotions, and healthy coping mechanisms don't work immediately - it's a long term thing

Some of these can make you feel worse, in which case you should just try something else. As I said, they won't immediately make you feel better until you're more used to coping healthily

Eventually, you'll reach a point where it feels more intuitive and less forceful and uncomfortable, but you have to get past this first phase! It's like building a muscle, and it takes work. With practice, you'll figure out what works best for you and what doesn't

I promise it gets easier :•)

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Clarity of Creativity

I was thinking, perhaps what if one of the others like, actually took time to listen to Roman explain, or just, showed him patience, Logan, maybe, but you don't have to, of course – 🇵🇱

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: none

Pairings: also none

Word Count: none--no I'm kidding it's 1270

Remus is the one to give him the idea.

They’re in the Imagination, Roman on his knees in a small tidal pool, hands gently resettling the rocks where a large wave had disturbed them. Remus sits next to him on one of the sun-warmed rocks, swinging one leg back and forth. The clear water splashes up around Roman’s arm. A crab scuttles over the sand nearby and disappears over the crest of a small dune.

“I think it would help,” Remus says, as quiet as the setting sun, “especially for the assholes that don’t give you the time of day.”

“They’d have to read it.” A fish nibbles at the tip of Roman’s finger. “Would they?”

“Would they read it? I’d fucking hope they would.”

Roman sighs. He lets the fish dart around his hand for another moment before he gets up and goes to sit on the rock next to Remus. He leans his head on his brother’s shoulder and closes his eyes. After a moment, he feels Remus’s head come to rest on top.

The waves grow a little louder as clouds begin to spread over the horizon. Roman turns his face into his brother’s shoulder. Remus takes one of his hands tightly in his and squeezes as the red sunlight effortlessly pierces the clouds. The waves crash against the shore to a cry of seagulls as Roman’s eyes squeeze shut. Remus kisses his forehead as the win blows warmly across the sand.

“…okay.”

“And you’ll always have me to kick their asses if they don’t listen to you.”

Roman smiles. “Thanks, Re.”

It isn’t a bad idea, truly. He’s always been better at expressing himself through the strange abstract of prose than the fumblings of verbal communication, especially when it comes to things he’s liable to get…emotional over. Even as he works, his mouth tightens at the thought of it.

Like trying to drink through a straw with holes, he writes, when you’re dying of thirst and you just can‘t get your mouth around it.

Already, he can see the reactions of some of them. The bemused and indulgent half-smile of someone who really doesn’t understand but wants to keep up appearances. The furrowed brow and the pursed lips of someone who is compiling a list of how this is incorrect. The vacant stare of someone who is reading this as a favor and has no intention of actually digesting any of it.

Perhaps he’s just jaded from how they’ve reacted to him attempting to speak in the past. Perhaps he’d be better off writing two versions of this, one where he can be as vindictive and angry as he wants, and the other to actually further the conversation.

He’ll have Remus and Remus alone read the first one.

(He does, and the two of them have to spend an afternoon in the Imagination doing nothing but smashing rocks.)

It’s the most honest thing he’s ever written, and he stares at his computer with muted horror once he’s finished. This isn’t just writing an explanation, this is…flaying himself and letting them come examine his bones. Is this too much? What will they think of him? How much does he want them to understand if it comes at the expense of his own soul?

“You’re overthinking it,” Remus says to him one night when he’s curled up under the light of the full moon, his head in his brother’s lap, “you know they won’t abandon you over it.”

“How?”

“We won’t let them. Hey, hey,” he soothes when a distraught noise leaves Roman’s throat, “I mean it. We’ll tell them it’s an exercise to get Thomathy’s poetry brain going, or something, you don’t just have to sit there and be hurt by them not understanding.”

“Janus.”

“Janny can piss off for a thousand years. He knows better than to be a hemipene about shit like this.”

Roman snickers despite himself. Remus ruffles his hair.

“I know I’m not one to talk about brains doing awful shit and running with it, but I really think they’ll listen.”

Roman shifts enough to peer up at his brother. “Promise?”

“I promise, Roro.”

So, he does what he thinks is best, and he goes to find Logan.

Logan, to his credit, simply nods and holds out a hand when Roman tells him he’s got something he wants him to read. It takes him a moment longer than normal to hand it over. Logan notices.

“Is everything alright, Roman?”

“Yes.”

Logan raises an eyebrow, but no hissing comes from the dark corners of the room. “You seem distressed.”

“It’s…just read it, please.”

Logan gives him another concerned look, but goes to begin reading. And suddenly Roman can’t be here while Logan’s looking at his bones so he sinks out and grabs a canvas and just does something. Just to keep his hands busy and not think too much about the thing that’s being read downstairs.

He’s just putting some dots of white paint along a dark blue swatch when the knock at his door comes. He opens it with a flick of his less-messy hand and Logan steps through, his eyes shining.

“Roman,” he says, his voice soft with something that Roman wouldn’t dare describe as wonder, “is…this is you, isn’t it?”

With his hands covered in paint, Roman nods. Logan’s face splits into such a wide grin that for a moment, a hysterical part of him thinks it must hurt.

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” he says in a rush, “this is—this is a truly excellent display of writing skill, first of all, your use of extended metaphor and pathetic fallacy is commendable. Secondly, I thank you for being willing to explain it to me, have you—are you familiar with the term ‘cluttering?’”

Roman blinks. “Like when you have too much stuff on your desk?”

“Well, yes, but it’s also a speech condition variant to stuttering.” Logan indicates the paper. “From what it sounds like, it may be an accurate term to describe your speech patterns.”

“There’s…a word?”

At this, Logan stops. Some of the excitement goes out of his expression and he looks at Roman almost…sorrowfully.

“I noticed that you spent a fair amount of this saying how difficult it was when you attempted to talk to people and they would dismiss you for not ‘speaking properly.” He adjusts his glasses. “I apologize for the part I have played in that. It was—well. It was not my intention to dismiss you.”

”Still hurt, though.”

“Of course, and I’m sorry for it. What I meant to say was that I…are there things I should be doing instead? To help?”

Roman’s eyes widen. Even after all the words and work he’d put into making sure it was just coherent, he never expected this.

“I…”

“Take your time,” Logan says quietly, “I’m happy to wait.”

The little air-purifying plant in the window sways gently in the warm breeze. Roman smiles and stands up from the canvas to wash his hands.

“That’s wonderful, by the way,” Logan says, indicating the painting, “your use of color is inspired.”

Roman glances at it over his shoulder. Random splashes of vivid colors, dots and strokes and splotches alike. Harmonious chaos, beautiful noise.

“It just makes sense to me.”

“It’s beautiful, Roman.”

Somewhere in the back of his head, he hears stick out his tongue and say I told you so.

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