#i refuse to see this
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he's so crazy we can't take him anywhere šš¤£
#how atlus felt making the black mask design by far the most visually disturbing horrific thing witnessed by human eyes#what the FUCK is he wearing. what is that fucking OIL SPILL#didnt even BOTHER looking up a reference bc it was so hideous i didnt want to see it again.#āa persona users outfit reflects their desires and the manifestation of their personaā IS LOKI SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING ZEBRA??????????????#I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#ONLY GOOD THING ABT HIS OUTFIT IS THE SEXY SERRATED SWORD THAT COMES WITH IT#anyway i genuinely dont give a fuck if this isnt the canon design i refuse to draw that one#there is no way this bitch was the one behind all the mental shutdowns he looks like he cant even hold a sword šš stupid femboy twinkšš#anyway i digress i loved watching his sanity rapidly deteriorate as he got the deer in headlights stare when he looked at you#anyway akechi flopped with this one 0/10 don't come back like this again#imagine dying in this fit not even the flames of hell would burn hotter than my unadultered rage šš#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#akechi goro#lotus draws
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Elizabeth Afton bets on losing dogs in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#elizabeth afton#circus baby#william afton#fnaf sister location#William WHEN I GET YOU#I know I focus on Michael a lot but let it be known#I feel bad for all the Afton children#Elizabeth has such a sad story to her#all she wanted was her father to acknowledge her#but instead he made circus baby which I think he was more proud of then her#and refused to let Elizabeth see it the one thing she assumes her father made for her#and she dies because of it cause he didnāt watch her#even as baby he isnāt interested in her#he more so focuses on his hate for Michael#Elizabeth has always been an after thought#she deserved so much better#tell your baby that im your baby
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if i see a single one of you pissed that your faves canceled an event or a con appearance because they're striking for fair wages then imma come for you in your sleep šŖšŖšŖ
(direct that fury where it belongs: AMPTP and the execs)
#sag aftra#sagaftra#sag aftra strong#sag aftra strike#union strong#wga strike#PAY THE FUCKING ACTORS AND WRITERS#i hope the execs lose EVERYTHING#sag strike#sag-aftra#(BY THE WAY I'VE MADE A MINOR EDIT ON THE ORIGINAL POST)#in case you're confused: BE PISSED OFF. BUT DIRECT IT AT AMPTP AND THE EXECS.#if you don't get to see your fave at an event or a con? IT IS NOT THE UNION'S FAULT. IT IS THE FAULT OF THE EXECS#AMPTP AND THE EXECS ARE REFUSINGS TO NEGOTIATE IN GOOD FAITH AND ARE REFUSING TO PAY ACTORS AND WRITERS FAIRLY#SUPPORT THE WGA AND SAG STRIKE#if that means you can't see them at a con? then take the money you were gonna spend on that con and donate it#to the entertainment community fund#DIRECT YOUR ANGER WHERE IT BELONGS#WHICH IS AT AMPTP AND THE GREEDY PIECE OF SHIT EXECS#another edit: i forgot to add alt text which is my bad. I HAVE CORRECTED THAT.
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you know what boils my blood.
over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."
i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.
but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.
today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.
the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.
so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.
#zee rambles#this isn't to guilt trip anyone#but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever#and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too??#we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it#now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people#but that doesn't mean its gone#that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it#honestly i just needed a lil rant#and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it#also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd
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my neverending quest to draw one single Idia that I don't immediately hate
#art#twisted wonderland#we'll see how i feel about this one later ( į )#(look. if i waited to post i would never post anything)#oh well this is why we practice i guess#the solution is obviously to just draw more idia#anyway gimmie a bit to catch up with everything as holiday stuff sinks its claws ever deeper into me#sometimes i'm just like...yeah idia has the right idea locking himself in his room forever and refusing to engage in social interaction#(it's fine just a lot going on at once)#(y'all have a good one and stay warm š§£)
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesnāt mean anything. Itās just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point
#I joined tumblr for the aesthetics and now Iām here bc itās the most low pressure social media to be on#Instagram is pplās highlight reel but Tumblr is where u see their pure thoughts unobstructed and I adore that#Itās very nice to have people to relate to and is def the main appeal to me but I donāt think thereās much more to it than that genuinely#Monetization on tumblr isnāt a thing and probably wonāt be so it feels stupid to put more stake than necessary in it. Like youāre in the#Trenches over tumblr of all things. Embarrassing#I know chronically online people exist bc I have seen them in my or somebody elseās inbox but imagine waking up at 70 one day and the#Realization hitting u like a freight time that u wasted all ur time thinking tumblr. TUMBLR. This dying website. Has enough weight for u to#be sending anon hate or reviewing pplās blogs like theyāre some kind of product. Brother this is licherally tumblr#I choose to laugh at this behavior than take it seriously bc absolutely no one is driving me crazy on my OWN blog. On tumblr dot com.#I refuse#I will do whatever I want forever etc
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"If the original novel had given this thing more than ten words of description, there was no way he wouldnāt have remembered!"
#svsss#shen qingqiu#zhuzhi lang#sqq#zzl#is this a ship? do they have a ship tag?#anyway i'm just feeling slightly obsessed with the dynamic of:#ZZL: i am a strange hideous creature [derogatory] vs SQQ: that's a strange hideous creature [affectionate]#@mikkeneko thank you! i'm glad you like his design! bc man am i ever having fun drawing this snake boy#expect more in the future#my art#you know when it comes to mdzs/tgcf i'm pretty solidly ''yes i like the main ship no i refuse to entertain any variations on it''#whereas so far in svsss i'm team ''throw 'em all in a blender hit puree and see what comes flying out''#specifically i think sqq deserves an unwitting harem and i will rotate every bizarre dynamic that spins off that in my head#zhushen
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my brain is saying 141 with a reader that sees dead people. like they notice how respectful she is to the dead. when she kills she moves the bodies, sometimes says a small prayer to herself. they see her looking at things that arenāt there. āDid you see that? Never mind.ā or she mentions she feels something weird in the air, or something wrong. talks to the team about the sleep paralysis she gets, always leaving out the grayish dark figure that accompanies her on those nights.
Sheās never told anyone until she got drunk enough to were sheās literally laughing saying
āoh yea i see dead people.ā And the guys obv think sheās joking and egg her on about said dead people she sees. but then she tells them about the entities that follow them, the people theyāve killed, always following them around. some are very angry, she feels their malicious intentions. ends up describing them in grave detail, they way they looked, what they wore, the last words they spoke before her teammates pulled the trigger. Something that only THEY would know.
āoh man, let me tell you about Gilbert my sleep paralysis demon. I swear heās been visiting me more and more recently.ā
#I really love the idea of a reader that sees the dead#That sees the dead that surrounds their teammates#one time she asked Ghost about why thereās always a child following him around#didnāt talk to her for a week š#price still refused to believe that she sees dead people even though she described a close friend of his that died in battle#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#john soap mactavish#cod#call of duty#cod mw2
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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This wine tastes like pigs blood!
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jin zixun#wei wuxian#su she#(Su She needs to have his carrie moment before he can have his Carrie Moment.#Which means he needs to exist as a punching bag before he can hit 'em with the rebound).#My first draft of this comic had WWX slurping LWJ's wine per actual scene canon#As it really is a great scene of how WWX is willing to absorb the scandal and harm that befalls others.#It had a lot less to do with it being LWJ and more so that WWX just happens to be the kind of person who refuses to turn a blind eye.#It could have been any Lan who was being pressured (inappropriately) to drink (do not pressure anyone to drink irl PLEASE).#Because this is a romance plot it of course *is* LWJ. But don't forget that in this moment they aren't on great terms.#It's not a knight in shining armor moment - it's a 'you were being treated unjustly and I have the power to absolve you from that.'#And as we are very soon about to see - WWX certainly cannot turn away from those who need aid he can provide.#And like Jin Guangyao; that kindness is also his downfall.#By the way - that you all for the amazing community commentary on the last comic. I really loved reading everyone's thoughts!#Suyao shippers...I get it now. You had me at 'wen ning and WWX parallels'. I'll be back with a treat for you soon.#And yes 'everyone' does include the ironically named tumblr user jin zixun.#Who blocked me right before the character makes his pd-mdzs debut.#I hope you are well. You seem like you were having a real bad time yesterday.
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the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical
#i love akechi but i sometimes i wish you could bully him like no matter which dialogue u pick it sounds like ur flirting back w him#āi'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated youā why can't u say smt unserious back#like āsorry i have a snatched waist and correct opinions on everything.ā or like āur loss lmaoā#hate playing darts with this bitch bc i play on a steamdeck and i don't have a fucking gyroscope so like#it's trying to replicate how the joycons or pro controller would throw AND ITS SUCKS SO BAD#like i just see akechi get a hat trick every single fucking time with three bulls in a row and meanwhile im struggling to line the thing up#and then after u finish he's like āhmm i see. that's an interesting way to play itā WHAT THE FUCK THERES LITERALLY NO STRATEGY HERE SMARTAS#I JUST MISSED. IM NOT STRATEGIZING. THERES NOTHING āINTERESTINGā ABOUT IT.#i hate going to penguin snipers so much i hope i can get this stupid game on switch so i can actually rank up akechi's baton pass#and not waste like 1000 yen every night bc i refuse to not let a party member be on rank 3#akechi fuck yourself why can't we play 501 like we do with everyone else. why do u have to make everything abt this stupid rivalry#im gonna kms i hate akeci and i hate darts#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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I love Michael Afton's story in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#william afton#fnaf pizzeria simulator#fnaf 4#undertale#shout out to that one undertale line that destroys us all#call me corny call me simple BUT#I genuinely love Michaelās story in fnaf#and Iāll stand by it forever#Michaelās story is told to use indirectly so we have to infer a lot#and I do think thatās cool#just based off actions a few words spoken written and said#through mini games etc#you learn so much about him his whole life#Michael did not start in a hopeful place#heās William Aftonās son his life was always gonna be torture#but thereās something almost beautiful#after heās scooped after he literally cuts the poison out and he realizes his father is awful#heās renewed he grows back he keeps going#he refused to die just to get rid of his father#I know people sees Michael story as tragic but thereās such hope in it#Michael kept going
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the theme is same faces
(ID in alt text)
bonus + design notes:
sparknotes:
tridentarii: the building block was "lions" (corona's mane of hair and king vibes + ianthe's scar lionking swagger) but i think i lost that plot at some point. regardless peep the earrings for symbols of their twisted mutualism. also they have dimples <3 bc on corona they're perfect and on ianthe (when she smiles wide enough) they're sickeningly dissonant
the nonas: harrow has curls bc i think the only thing funnier than saddling a nun who's been shaving her head since infancy with fast-growing hair is for that hair to be horrible messy springy curls that are barely spared from frizz by the sheer grease #bathingisn'tsafeformern. please also applaud my restraint in adhering to canon and not giving nona dimples. she deserved them
the sixth: came to me fully formed honestly. palamedes calls camilla beautiful enough for the alexandrites so i just let my heart and sapphism take the wheel here. for pal when i first read gtn i visualized him very differently but other artists made such a compelling case for scruffy pal that now i can't see him any other way
the second: also let my heart take the wheel here. wanted to draw a man carved out of hardwood so i did <3 at the caliber of necromancer that g1d is i know he probably wouldn't have so much scarring but the heart wants what it wants (cool factor). in my head and in my heart they're from wake
naberius: i don't have anything to say in my defense. i rewatched teen beach movie, found the perfect face claim and set the wheels of fate in motion. i think babs is hot the way a ken doll is hot, y'know? it takes yanny piloting his flesh mecha for him to be gender (<- testimonial from my masc nb friend)
#the locked tomb#nona the ninth#ianthe tridentarius#coronabeth tridentarius#nona tlt#harrowhark nonagesimus#camilla hect#palamedes sextus#gideon the first#pyrrha dve#naberius tern#the whole point of this post is me wanting to see if i can make the same face express different characters distinctly. had fun#i had to do pal okay pal had to be there. i had to cleanse from drawing babs#YES IM A CURLY GIRLY which means i will give curls to anybody i can get away with. i refuse to make corona settle for measly beach waves#i coulda never been a boe soldier the amount of product i go through..... sorry i'm shilling for that house haircare#i was going to do gideon-in-harrow and pal-in-babs too but i couldn't stand to see babs's face contorting into pal's smile so i stopped#i might still do it but not now#doodles#mine
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I kind of don't like how a lot of people forget that despite all the angst and the drama around Dean and Cas they are fundamentaly best friends.
How many times did Dean say it throught the entire show? Bobby in season 6 saying "Well, you just lost the best friend you ever had."
For Bobby to say that, knowing Dean better than even Sam in some regards, how many times had Dean been sitting with Castiel on the couch in his living room?
Cas doesn't sleep, and rarely does Dean, with the Apocalypse looming right behind him.
So all they had left, in those quiet nights were each other. And they were okay with it, because they liked each other's company.
#your honor they are in love#destiel rant#destiel#castiel#cas and dean#dean winchester#spn#supernatural#deancas#castiel novak#dean and castiel's profound bond#they are besties#we could get into detail about how their entire relationship fundamentally changed the second cas took on the leviathans#how castiel believed he could ever become something he was happy with and destroyed himself and murdered most of the other angels#and lost all form of self reflection and actualization in order to hate himself#and yes he magically got better after taking on sams memories but he was never alright ever again#and dean tried to go along with it#refused to see that there was anything wrong#ugh anyway#i digress
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snap! š«° snap! š«° and it's birthing time already
#everybody told him to change out his pajamas but he is too focused on worrying he refuses to do anything but pacing back and forth#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#lilia vanrouge#twst yuu#twst mc#twst baby#i just want to see dad still in pajamas while holding their baby#fanart#it's not like the baby will straight away born so yeah he could have changed but no i won't let him ( ą¹ā¾Ģā”ā¾Ģ)(ā¾Ģā”ā¾Ģ ą¹)
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