#i said 'no one should have to prove they're trans'

[jedi-enthusiast]

Honestly I’m so confused why people are so upset that Israel was included in Eurovision, like…my dude it’s literally a music contest for a bunch of countries---that Israel has already been included in before---not an actual political statement.

It’s literally insane to me, especially with how people were treating the Israeli contestant---protesting her, forcing her to change her song, other contestants saying shit like “talking to her doesn’t mean I support Israel,” etc. etc.

And I feel like that’s a reoccurring thing with all this mainstream pro-Palestine bullshit: y’all don’t actually care about Palestine or want to help anyone, you just want “good person points” socially, but don’t actually care about your impact.

You'll post shit like "stan Hamas" and ignore the fact that they're literally a terrorist organization dedicated to killing Jews, and that they're literally hurting Palestinians too, as well as the fact that the conflict between Israel and Palestine is only ongoing because Hamas keeps breaking the ceasefire and won't give back hostages.

But you'll ignore all of the organizations that actually help Palestine because they're run by Jews/Israelis, or even just supported by Jews and Israelis.

(And how much do you want to bet that the same people who cry- "Hamas is only doing this because of Israel's actions regarding Palestine, so it's justified/reasonable/understandable, etc." -would never say that if it was a group like, say, ISIS that was kidnapping/killing/waging war on Americans because of the US's actions in the Middle East?)

You'll harass random people on college campuses just because they're Jewish, even though they clearly have no fucking say in what a country on the other side of the world does, and barricade yourselves inside a building and be shocked when you're suspended or expelled for property damage/harassment/etc.

But you won't volunteer at any organizations that are dedicated to helping Palestine, or donate money to those organizations, or donate food/clothes/etc., or actually do anything besides whine and cry because you helped destroy a campus building and your college doesn't want you there anymore.

(Hell, 99% of y'all don't even bother volunteering for your own communities, so I know you're sure as hell not volunteering to help anyone else's---again, you just want the "good person points")

Everyone that was so gung-ho about "oh yeah, let's punch Nazis!" a few years ago are now spouting Nazi rhetoric.

Everyone that preached that bigotry is never ok, even if someone from a minority does something bad, are now the same people chanting- "Jews are shit!" -and spreading blood libel.

Everyone that was calling for solidarity between minorities and oppressed groups are now the same people ostracizing Jews because they won't condemn the only country that will actually protect them- (or rather, they'll condemn the Israeli governments actions, but won't stand side-by-side with antisemites or say that Israel should be destroyed).

Everyone that said that it wasn't okay for people to be racist towards poc because some of the BLM protests were getting out of hand/violent are now the same ones going- "oh, it's fine to be antisemitic because these disgusting Jews Zionists aren't agreeing with me on everything."

Everyone that was posting shit about being aware of misinformation and doing your research before posting something are now the ones that have no idea what Zionism actually is, don't even know which river and sea their chant means, has no clue what Israel has actually done to Palestine and is just calling it a "genocide" as a buzzword despite all the evidence stating otherwise, etc.

Like...you guys are really just proving that you don't actually have morals beyond what's socially acceptable.

"Never harass random Muslim/gay/trans/black/etc. people just for a cause or because they did something you didn't like...unless they're Jewish, then you can stalk them on campus and be physically violent towards them."

"Bigotry is never okay, even if someone from a minority does something you don't agree with or something awful...unless they're Jewish, then spread blood libel and call for the "final solution" all you want."

"Not everyone from the US/Republican states/Christian churches/etc. agrees with what their government/state/religious leaders are doing, so it's not fair to blame and ostracize them for it...unless it's Jewish people or Israelis or, G-d forbid, Jewish Israelis, then you can hate them and blame them for everything!"

Like, genuinely, fuck off.

You aren't good people, you aren't "making a difference" or "on the right side of history," you don't give a shit about morality or justice or doing any good for anyone---all you care about is your fucking popularity and the social norm.

So keep your stupid, hateful, misinformed hands off of the I/P conflict---you've proven that y'all clearly can't handle having opinions on it.

[aintgonnatakethis]

Trans man who shall remain nameless: Men don't get periods.

Me: ??? Some trans men do.

Him: They don't. If they were actually men they'd get the medical care needed to stop getting them.

Me: ...So you weren't a real man until your periods stopped?

Him: Yeah.

[0w0tsuki]

It's always telling that the only time when transandro bros even dain to recognize intracommunity transmisogyny, it's only when they're forced to distance themselves from the rampant transmisogynists in their community whose transmisogyny is so cartoonish it becomes undeniable. And it's only to preserve image and position themselves as the non-reactionary alternative.

They did it when one of their own sent out rapey sexual harassment copypasta anons to trans lesbians. They did this when already infamous "transmisogyny group chat"/"The TMRA Radfems warned you about" faggotwithopinions/transmascpeterwenz treated becoming mutuals with the CEO who permabanned a trans woman for no reason and followed her off-site to violate privacy data protections in order to paint her as a sex pest as Huge Get. They did this when TERFs felt comfortable with their communities transmisogyny to openly talk about how they plan to use transandro bros specifically to drive a wedge in the trans community, something trans andro bros accuse transfeminists of all the time.

And when I say it's only in these cases it is ONLY in these wildly cartoonish scenarios. Back when the "transmisogyny group chat" was still fresh news, something that usually happens when a queer transmisogynist shows their full ass happened. A bunch of TERFs who stalk these discourses because they're obsessed with trans women went into his anons to send the most vile hate they could summon while pretending to be trans women so our abusers have something they can point to to play victim. And all the transandro bros took these ANONYMOUS HATE MESSAGES sending gendered slurs/sexual harassment at FACE VALUE when they said they were coming from trans women. It got so bad that prominent transandro bro GenderKoolaid when "dissecting and analyzing" a cropped screenshot of a post by Predstrogen (you know the trans woman who was later outsted by the CEO himself) made some wild speculation about how an offhand comment about "transfems taking the piss" was a direct joke reveling in this harassment.

And there are still plenty of blatant transmisogynists that are propped up as prominent members of the transandro community because they haven't had their own "Me and CarExplosionsHammer Photomatt are besties!" moment. There's the aforementioned GenderKoolaid who routinely engaged with "critiquing" transfeminists posts out of context behind their back and alongside spacelazarwolf has promoted the kiwifarms style blog transandrophobia-archive.

They harbor loads of ex TERFs. ftmtftm who left a 31 paragraph college dissertation with proper citations carefully explaining why I'm either purposely unintellectual or actually stupid and what I was saying was radfeminism aktually when I was looking through his blog before blocking him I saw 1) him lamenting about feeling abandoned by the radfem community he was apparently raised by and 2) him sighing with fucking "transmisoginy group chat" faggotwithopinions of all people about how "these Actual Transmisogynists™ make it so hard for us Actually Nice TMRAs and we need to put an effort to come across as considerate to their experiences with them when we engage with transfems" acting like they they aren't the very problem they are complaining about.

An out Ex-TERF nothorses is responsible for cultivating the current transandro echo chamber tried to use his influence in the community he helped create to try and redefine TERF to try to allow for the label to paradoxically include trans women. After that he wrote an anti-transfeminist manifesto that "defined" Beaddelism and cited open TERF sources. And this manifesto is still constantly linked by transandro bros whenever someone outside the discourse asks what a beaddel is.

The transmisogyny is so bad in their community but simultaneously is explicitly an outlier and not representative of them. Every prominent member is transmisogynists Georg and should not be counted but only when you can prove he is unequivocally, beyond the shadow of a doubt, transmisogynist. Up until then everything he does is fine until it's not.

To transandro bros "transmisogynistic trans men" is this Mystical Other problem that can only be solved with better PR and is completely unaddressable and says nothing about their community at all. Something that they've wholly separated from themselves that's only addressed in the theoretical until they're forced to confront it because they've fostered it so much it's become too big to ignore.

Like if your truly "one of the good ones" whose "only trying to talk about specific issues trans men face" then ask yourself why you've aligned with an ideology founded directly in opposition to transfeminis?. Why do you stand with a community whose mest well regarded members are also some of the most rampant transmisogynists on this site? Why you are constantly having to do PR work to not be instantly regarded as on the transmisogynists that you're community has become known for?Why you refuse to address the transmisogyny problem so much that out and proud TERFs feel comfortable enough to walk right in and start proposing "AMAB supremacy" theory?

Like I've said before. The disgusting actions and behaviors from the community alone are enough to not regard any "theory" they put forth to excuse it.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Just a photo of me with my lovely new girlfriend, Nikki! We met on Tinder and she was soooo eager to date a trans girl like me! I asked her if she loved girls with huge boobs like me and she asked if I'm trans. I was surprised she could tell and said that I was. She told me it was obvious I was born a boy, that I didn't pass very well. But she really wanted to hook up still, saying she loved how boys who transition into girls like me wind up with such big boobs that they're kind of a give away. Because cis girls would get a reduction and hate being so busty, but trans girls keep them and let them grow to bovine proportions. Since we have boy libidos and get turned on by monster tits and other perverted stuff. But she said she's a bit of a pervert, too.

I told her I was flattered but I'm not especially kinky. She promised me if we got together she'd make me kinkier than I ever could've dreamed. Sooooo I just had to say yes. We've been together three months, but I'm still not sure what she meant exactly..... We have sex and she encourages me to use my cock, although she tops, she likes me to stroke my cock and edge for her. She likes to tell me when I can or can't cum, which is pretty fun, although a bit frustrating since I swear I've been getting hornier since I met her! And my cock has actually grown, weirdly enough! That happen to any other trans girls at nineteen? I haven't missed any of my meds. But I've gone from four inches fully erect to almost ten! It's embarrassing having a big dick but at least Nikki seems to like it, joking how it just proves I'm really a boy deep down. It's weird but my heart flutters when she calls me a boy, especially in public. It actually makes my cock hard..... Oh, and suddenly my stubble and beard are coming in! Is that normal? I've been on blockers since ten and hormones at twelve. Should I see my doctor or do you girls think I should just let it come in? I'm OK at covering it with makeup but I feel like it's coming in really fast. Oh well, hope you all have a lovely day! ❤️"

"Fuck..... It's been two years since my last post because, well, as everyone was commenting, yes Nikki was a TERF, and yes.... she was sneaking me testosterone. You all called it and I totally ignored it. Now I'm seeing what she meant by kinky.... It was one thing to control when I cum, but now my life revolves around Nikki's fetishes. It started with her detransitioning me, training me to edge and not cum unless she allowed it. Soon my voice dropped, my body hair and beard grew thick. I couldn't hide that I was a guy at all. And fuck it made me so damn hard! I feel disgusting, thinking of how I threw my beautiful body away for Nikki. But my cock is so big now! It aches to be stroked and played with all day, but instead every time I get an erection I have to eat or chug weight gain shakes until Nikki gets home and lets me cum.

Nikki apparently loves extremely fat men and loves turning beautiful trans girls into fat men even more. I'm definitely not the first or last trans girl she's done this to. I even had to watch as she made me get my boobs chopped off. Reduced to a flat, boy's chest, as I was only numbed, kept awake as the surgeon destroyed my perfect breasts. Nikki was in the corner, controlling a set of vibrating toys, one in my ass, the other inserted into my fat cock. I was still thin and pretty that day, and it's one of the few videos Nikki actually lets me jerk off to when I'm allowed to cum. That, and videos of other trans girls she's dated enduring the same thing. Always still slim and beautiful, breasts at least a HH-Cup or bigger. Stubble starting to show on their faces, voices just beginning to crack as they're forced to watch a surgeon dismantle and ruin their beautiful, estrogen-fattened breasts.

Now my whole life is sitting home eating. Sometimes Nikki goes days without coming home and letting me cum, since she has so many other former trans girls to keep fed and growing, making sure none of us are breaking our rules, being naughty, and gooning on our own. Although, as a boy the temptation to edge and stroke and goon all day is always at the forefront of my brain. Eating is the only thing that quiets my urges..... temporarily. So I eat more and more, gorging myself, becoming a hairy tub of lard for Nikki, knowing I'll never, ever pass as a girl again. Not that I was ever very convincing.... I can't wait to get as fat as possible to show Nikki what a devoted, pathetic hog I've become! Although it is fun to watch her get mad when I can't help myself and I jerk off for hours on end to girls getting forcibly detransitioned....."

[punkeropercyjackson]

Why Percy Jackson is a transfem character and always has been

So!!Obligatory 'i'm a trans man,not a trans woman' disclaimer but this analysis is based purely off 1.Percy's canon personality,relathionships and story and 2.Irl transfeminine experiences that i know a lot about thanks to having a lot of transfem friends.Said friends have also listened to my reasoning behind tgirl Percy and agreed with me if not having the hc for her already and every other transfem Pjo fan i've seen i don't personally know also say her narrative is trans woman's one too and they always understand Percy's characterization better than anyone else in the fandom(certainly better than 'himbo/malewife/babygirl-coded/slutty bisexual Percy' believers)and as a Percy kinnie it's been the take that's felt most correct to me ever since i first read Pjo,10 years ago much,MUCH before i even realized i'm queer.So with that,let's dive into why Percy is a girl quasi-canonically,including that Rick Riordan has refered to her as straight but never cis!

Trigger warnings:Misogyny,child abuse,ableism,Luke's canon pedophillia and grooming with an alluding to how it applies to Percy being female(that is not dived into!),a slang word for pedophile that's used as an insult to P*rcicos potrayal of her and internalized transmisogyny

Percy's personality

Now,as i've said before,Percy's not all that actually gendered as male-Meaning,none of her attitude or behavior or interests are masculine and are misenterpreted as such due to misogyny and gender essentialism.Percy has poor social skills,anger issues,merciless tendencies,a strong sense of justice,self-worth problems,a very odd sense of humor that always lands and respects women to the point of thinking they're better than men and none of these are gendered traits but a mix of audhd-dyslexia and trauma.The last one is arguably actually a girl thing even if there's an in-universe reason for it(good mom,deadbeat birth dad,abusive stepdad,most antagonists being older men in power and the first older person she thought she could trust was just manipulating her)

Percy also frequently complains about having to act like a stereotypical guy to have to fit into society's standards because naturally,she's just not-She's completely unconvential even amongst 'other male' demigods and this is reguarly commented on.In fact,there's a whole plot in Titan's Curse of her proving to the Hunters that she's NOT a normal 'man' and it's a huge thing that's reinforced as true the whole franchise!Zoe was right about cis men being ass and that's not 'r*dical feminism' and ngl a lot of y'all are telling on yourselves because she never talked about biology in her misandry,especially because Zoe appears to be around the same age as Thalia physically and mentally so it's super icky to throw t*rf accusations at her because she's traumatized by ancient greek men,one of the worst kinds of men ever!And Percy's totally unlike them despite being amab and identifying male not because 'not all men' but because she's actually a woman

This is a direct contrast to how she talks about and interacts with other girls-Almost every female character earns her worship on first meeting,even if she dosen't like them as people.She puts a heavy emphasis on them being girls in her narration and some dialogue too and her descriptions of them are so admirative they come as envious with her own insecurities in her looks.Percy is severely lacking in any kind of masculinity and Piper even pointed this out based on her vibes alone after hearing all about her at camp and thinking she'd be a macho man based off how people talk about her and i'm unsure if this is a common phenomenom but i frequently see and hear people say daughters tend to look like girl versions of their dad's and Percy is said to be identical to Poseidon but with softer features and the idea Percy should tie herself to masculinity due to it being expected of amabs is contradictory to canon's messages in addition to it's irl sexist implications and the sea is frequently associated with femininity(mermaids and sirens,calling ships 'she',pearl jewelry,the term 'Beach Bunny',the moon controlling the tides,etc)

And small final note:The rock music scene is filled with transfemmes and has been for a long time and while blue things are usually associated with boys,it was Percy's mom who got her to love them

Percy's relathionships

Almost all of Percy's friends growing up were girls-Annabeth,Silena,Thalia,Bianca,Zoe,Clarisse and Rachel vs just Grover,Beckendorf and Nico.She thinks The Stolls are annoying as shit with their 'boys will be boys' beat and she hates male gods on sight and implies she finds them being super conventionally attractive to be offputting instead of appealing.Nico had a crush on her until they got closer and realized she's not an ideal man like he thought she was and therefore 'cute but not his type'(I have no opinion on Solangelo but i got beef with the shippers for making this about blonde hair and blue eyes instead of transfem Percy,especially the trope of Percy acting like a kiddy fiddler over what Nico said as a joke)and she takes responsibility of him post Bianca's death and Nico exclusively wishes for older sister figures,never old brother ones

Percy and Rachel is a classic irl dynamic between transfems and their afab friends:Dating to exes to even closer friends.Rachel is a pretty typical lesbian if we're applying irl wlw things too and Annabeth is clearly a huge lesbian-Like seriously,she only ever showed attraction to Luke and Percy and Luke was comphet in her words('You were like a brother to me but i never loved you')and lesbians experiencing attraction to uncracked eggs is semi-common and she's got tons of subtext with Piper and Reyna and shows a strong distaste for the expectations of cisheterosexual womanhood,mainly femininity.Reyna is yet another comphet lesbian-coded who was into Percy.Clarisse,textually butch,calls her 'Prissy' and Piper,canon unlabeled sapphic and gnc,described her as not masc enough for her taste

Percy's relathionships to older male characters combined with her transfemininity,youth and constantly being described as 'other' from ordinary half-bloods by them function with no need for change as a potrayal to how corrupted men in power treat girls-Not women,underaged girls as Percy is 12 at the start and 18 now and we've yet to get interactions with her and male gods in the current canon timeline so all their abuse of her and innapropriate undertones in their behavior towards her were when she was underaged.This includes but is not limited to:Ares' condesension and (non-sexual) assaults,Apollo's very possible constant flirting that would definitely be textual if Percy was intended as a girl by Rick seeing as Apollo had no problem hitting on the Hunters and Reyna and her entire relathionship with Luke.Luke is canonically a serial pedophile,implied to sleep with Kelli and a raging misogynist and Percy was one of the first victim's of his gaslighting and he tried to kill her after framing her his crime against the gods in an isolated area they'd been alone in together a lot and widely noted to have accidentally been writen flirting with her throught the series by the fandom so i can't help but take Luke.rcy as a male explotation and grooming narrative

Artemis,an archaic symbol of lesbians,loves Percy and considers her above any man.Aphrodite gave Percy advice on her looks by saying everyone deserves to feel perfect in their skin to achive true perfect beauty.Persephone,one of the og csa narratives,said she likes Percy because she's 'brave' with the implication being that again,she can tell Percy is different from usual 'male' half-bloods.Hera is the goddess of traditional marriage and holds a violent resentment towards Percy for disrupting the system.Percy at her core is meant to come across as like a male god but not actually being one and actively not wanting to become one out of hate for authority and traditionality

And another small final note to a section:Frank is trans man-coded(his arc is about being emasculated and saying 'fuck you!' by making his own manhood and Mars' blessing is explicitly compared to testosterone and gives him a huge confidence boost)and they're paralleled as fundamentally similar yet also fundamentally different,Nico and her act like an eldest daughter and a middle brother where she's a pseudo-mom to him and queer siblings and Jason falls under transmasc norms(the ex-wolfkid thing,positive and healthy masculinity,creating a new self after loosing his old idealized one and Team Dad)and instantly became Percy's best friend and is her complimentary foil and 'counterpart' so transmasc4transfem realness

Percy's story(and how it all comes together and would've been improved by canonizing her as a trans woman)

Percy Jackson means 'Outcast who looks out for other outcasts'.She's so unique as a character because she was and is still genuinely a huge weirdo,not just nonhuman,she is human even if it's only half-That's only half of who she is(She's totally a Gwen Stacy variant btw).Being a trans girl would do nothing but enchance her core aspects but also work as a fixit to various canon writing problems!

Percy is femme so that'd give us positive girly girl rep to make up for all the pick me feminism.Annabeth'd have no reason to lash out and give her mixed signals since she's not a boy so their dynamic is improved.Nico's crush fades upon finding out she's a girl so they become best friends and found siblings like they were always meant and wanted to.It causes shifts in the plot that bring a bigger focus on the girlhood aspects of Greek Mythology seperate from romance retellings and a much needed change too:Percy as the hero of the Great Prophecy.Luke was a raging misogynist,a racist,a child groomer,a fucking pedophile and an entire fascist who lied about revolution to ruin society instead of fixing the system.Percy is a lifelong punk,an anarchist and a proffessional instigator and was trying to stop Luke's fuckery from 12 to 16-She's the greatest greco-roman hero ever.TGP was operating on Ancient Greek logic but Pjo isn't Ancient Greece,it's Percy's story-How she forced the gods to change with no choice by SHOWING how much stronger and more etheral she is than them

BUT WAIT,THERE'S ONE MORE FINAL NOTE!!!!!Percy would be a million times happier as a trans femme than as a cis man.She gets to transition and not have to be an ordinary male she's NOT so she starts loving and accepting herself way more as she changes into who she wants and deserves to be and we should all want that for her too.The truth is she's nothing like Hercules,she's unimpressive as a man,Nico believed she was a real male hero but she failed at being a performance of it based off what he knew of men and now they're cool and he thinks Percy's cute but not like that,she thinks aggressively male men are wicked and not all that handsome,Rachel made her feel normal because she's not a normal girl (either),Annabeth has princess hair and had a makeover at a magic spa and she strikes fear into hearts in a way only girls and she wants all that too,she also wanted to be treated like Thalia so bad,Jason is the Superman she's been waiting for her whole life

She's the mom to Nico and Hazel Sally was to her,she's a rocker chick,she was on the swim team in high school and went to protests and did charity events with that frizzy neurotic girl she's attached to the hip with,she loves burgers and desserts,she's got streaked hair,she uses 2000s and 90s slang completely unironically and she just wants people to think she's normal but still get to be herself.The sea does not like to be restrained

[genderkoolaid]

the idea that transandromisia only targets transmascs and not most if not all trans/nonbinary people who were afab is wrong and literally exorsexist. i don't have to identify with masculinity for my oppression to be real. but only people aligned with the binary can be really oppressed, ikr

The fact that this whole discourse excludes non-transmasc nonbinary people just proves that you all only care when it happens to transmascs, but when they do the same shit to us it doesn't matter. You want us dead because we don't fit your little masc fem binary. Somehow in your view nonbinary people who aren't masc or fem are entirely incapable of experiencing transandromisia or transmisogyny, which is incorrect. excluding us from any of this discourse is complicit in our deaths. you all really think that only transmascs and transfems are oppressed. literally just a way to create a new binary and silencing anyone who is trans but not transmasc or transfem despite the fact that we all experience one of these if not both. but we have to misgender ourselves in order to be listened to at all or else is just "transneutrals stfu on transmasc issues" when they're not exclusive to transmascs ag all and not all of us are "neutral".

Did you mean to send this to me, specifically? Because I have never said that non-aligned people aren't capable of experiencing transandrophobia. I've said the opposite, actually, that literally anyone can experience transandrophobia and that anyone who has experiences with it should be a part of this discussion. There are definitely issues of binary language when discussing this, I won't deny that. Most people use "transmasc" as a general term because we are talking about transphobia that targets transmasculinity, but that doesn't mean that we think only transmascs can be effected, and I try to talk about exorsexism specifically a decent amount. Again, I don't deny there are language issues, but I feel like saying that I or other people want unaligned nonbinary people dead is. A bit extreme? Perhaps?

[hyperlexichypatia]

You don't have to be "happy" to deserve the freedom to control your own life.

It's easy to justify people's right to live their lives as they choose with "Let them do whatever makes them happy!" or "As long as they're happy, who cares?"

I've said this! But it's not a very effective argument. Because how can you prove that you're "happy" -- a subjective emotional state?

Queer people, disabled people, fat people, Mad/neurodivergent people, people in stigmatized relationships, are constantly told that we're wrong about our own happiness. That we think we're happy, but this false belief is part of our Mental Illness(TM). No one Like That could ever really be happy!

And this prejudice is fundamentally unfalsifiable. We can't prove our subjective feelings. If we could, people would somehow redefine "happiness" to exclude what they don't approve of.

I made the mistake of reading the comments on this article about age differences in relationships which literally has the headline "They say they're happy. Why is it so hard to believe them?" Of course, the commenters were all too eager to answer the rhetorical question. "If they were really happy, they wouldn't need to say so" (maybe they're sick of being asked). "People in situations like that don't know what's really going on, they think they're happy!" (what, exactly, is the difference between thinking oneself to be happy and actual happiness?).

(Side note for the relationship-specific version of this: I also see a lot of "They think they're in love!" and I have to ask: If people in relatively new relationships are told that "You only think you're in love, you're actually in lust/ a crush/ new relationship energy," and people in established long-term relationships are told that "You only think you're in love, but it's actually complacency/ not knowing any better/ helplessness," is there a magical medium-term relationship duration at which people can actually love their partners?)

You can never prove that you're "really happy," because if someone has already decided that your identity/lifestyle is incompatible with happiness, they will never believe you.

Arguing "I should be free to make my own choices or be myself, because I'm happy this way" will only prompt the response "The fact that you so mistakenly believe that you're happy is proof that you're mentally incompetent, and you should not, in fact, be free to make your own choices or be That Way."

Being constantly "happy" at all times is, also, just a completely unreasonable expectation. Humans have a range of emotions! Experiencing the full range of positive and negative human emotions is not a reason to deny us our rights.

In Jesse Singal's anti-trans hit piece, which I'm not linking to, Singal cites parents of a trans man who oppose their son's right to transition because, according to them, he was depressed after his transition. Now, notably, the son was not interviewed (and he was misgendered throughout), so we have absolutely no idea what his actual emotional state actually was (I don't know if the son ever went on the record anywhere with his own version of his story). But let's assume, for the sake of discussion, that his parents were correct, and he was depressed. So what? Trans people have the right to be depressed! Trans people have the right to the same emotional range as cis people! People's rights should not be dependent on what emotions they do or don't experience.

Additionally, this insistence on "happiness" as a prerequisite for rights, autonomy, and acceptance (willfully) ignores that the denial of rights, autonomy, and acceptance tends to make people unhappy.

Authoritarians think they have a real gotcha with "If you're happy this way, then why are you complaining?" as if people can't be profoundly happy with their identities and profoundly unhappy with how society treats them for those identities.

I am, for the most part, reasonably happy with being a fat, Mad, autistic, queer woman. At least I generally feel no pressing desire to change any of those things about myself. And I am extremely unhappy with the way I am treated for being a fat, Mad, autistic, queer woman.

But there are certainly times when I might think to myself "If I were taller, I could reach that top shelf" or "If I were thinner, I could maneuver into this tight space" or "If I weren't autistic, I could travel more." And at those times, I still deserve autonomy and basic human rights. I might be happy, sad, angry, anxious, excited, blase, or in a state of perfect Zen, and I would still deserve autonomy and basic human rights.

[raavenb2619]

Does coming out lead to too much focus on labels?

(I don't really have a main thesis I'm trying to convince anyone of, I just had a thought and wondered what other people thought.)

When I had recently figured out I was ace/aro/nonbinary, I really cared about finding the right labels for me. And the aspec community in particular has so many unique perspectives and labels that you can apply to yourself. What kinds of attraction do you feel, how do you label your orientations and attractions, what model do you use to think about attraction, how do you think about relationships, how do you feel about sex/romance/relationships, etc. It was super eye opening to learn about lots of different terms, and different ways of thinking about things, and things I'd never even thought about or thought I even could think about, and I ended up applying lots of labels to myself.

But, it's been many years since then, and over time I've grown less interested in applying specific labels to myself. I'm still queer/ace/aro/trans/nonbinary/polyam, but I don't really use other labels. (And depending on the situation, I might end up omitting labels when vagaries work fine.) That's not to say that I don't have affinity with other labels, whether that's "I'm similar to what this label describes" or "this label provides an interesting perspective that I like", I just...don't use other labels to define my identity. If I'm comfortable enough talking about something that I could use a label for, I'll just describe my experiences directly, instead of saying "I'm [blank]".

And, I wonder if that shift from specificity to vagary has to do with coming out. For a young aroace like me, part of why coming out was so nerve-racking was that I felt like I had to prove that my identity was real, and having specific labels I could point to and say "look, this is real, I'm not making this up, other people are like this too" was super helpful. But, it's been many years since I've come out, and I'm more confident and know who I am, and that insecurity that I fought back with fistfuls of labels and well-rehearsed explanations is gone. (With the potential exception of QPR-related discussions, which feel kind of like coming out again; I might make a post about that some time if people are interested.)

Every time I've ever come out, or seen someone come out in real life or in media, it's always been "I'm [blank]", but I've never seen someone come out as "I'm not cis/straight". It's always a declaration that you are a specific thing, never a statement that you aren't something someone thought you were. I remember really wanting to make sure I knew exactly what I was and didn't come out as one thing and then change my labels later, because it would mean I'd have to come out again and it would be embarrassing that I got things wrong and maybe people would start to doubt me and not believe me when I said I was something in the future. But, people don't have to be a fixed, immutable set of labels forever; I'm comfortable with using vague labels for myself and letting myself be vague and nebulous and fluid without frantically trying to label every single part of myself. (And, in fact, I did technically get my labels slightly wrong the very first time I came out, and everything turned out okay in the end.)

So, maybe coming out puts an undue pressure on finding specific labels and making sure they're exactly right; maybe coming out should also be able to be "I'm not cis/straight". What do people think?

(This is not to say that specific labels are bad, because they can often be very helpful! Specific labels were helpful for me when I used them, and their existence can spark conversations and lead to new perspectives and learning. Even as I'm finding vagueness and nebulousness to be better for me right now than specific detailed labels, other people can be finding that specific detailed labels give them a sense of belonging and community and identity. But, I still wonder if coming out placed an undue burden on younger me to find all the right labels when vagueness could have worked just as well.)

[jewish-sideblog]

I am sick and fucking tired of the fandomsphere's obsession with explicit canon. A character can be coded to hell and back and people will still refuse to acknowledge it unless the character looks directly into the camera and says "I'm [marginalized identity]."

The Spider-Verse movies made Peter B Parker Jewish and made Gwen Stacy trans. I don't give a shit if it's never said outright. It's canon. Peter B Parker has a Jewish wedding on-screen and shows off Hannukah bling in promotional material. He's Jewish. Gwen has a trans flag in her room and a trans-coded coming-out story that peaks with being cast in clear and intentional trans flag lighting. She's trans. Good on Spider-Verse for giving us solid representation without sacrificing time that should be spent on the characters' stories to bring explicit attention to their identities! The consequence is that you can't say he's Jewish or say she's trans in a public forum without having to pull out screenshots to prove your case.

Those are just two irksome examples from the same franchise, but this happens all the time across all fandom media. If you refuse to accept evidence and coding as proof, then you're perpetuating the idea that privileged identities are more normal and default than marginalized ones. Gwen shouldn't need to say "I'm trans" and Peter B shouldn't need to say "I'm Jewish" on-screen. No character should ever have to do that, because we never expect a character to reveal that they're canonically cisgender or goyishe.

[indianchindian]

JKR stooped to a new low by literally denying that the holocaust had a detrimental effect on trans people and saying that she won't consider Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe's apologies as if they even apologized to her lol (and why should they?)

Literally Daniel, Emma and the rest of the Harry Potter cast don't owe her anything. She made the books but Tom Felton said that she was very less involved in the making of the films if I remember correctly. How is she standing up for women if she spends five years belittling transwomen and transmen?! She has a huge platform and she's putting it to good use by making a marginalized community feel even more unsafe. Please don't prove me that she isn't a transphobe because there is ample amount of evidence that she is a huge one and she's not even a feminist lol.

Literally feminism started with gender being performative by Simone de Beauvoir saying that no one is born a woman, but they become women. Yet JKR and other trans exclusionist claiming to be feminists stress on "biological sex" as a way to exclude transgender people! Why?? Thank God I don't use X anymore, or stopped following JKR after her "people who menstruate" tweet, or have never been a crazy Potterhead and only was interested in Harry Potter through the movies. But I really admired her when I was younger! Why JKR WHY??!!

In all honesty I can't stand terfs! I don't want them or even hear of them because they're so dumb and unbearable! Do they even know that transgender people KNOW about their biological sex and they don't transition out of a whim! Transitioning is a very lengthy and difficult process for fuck's sake! And there are even many transgender people who don't transition medically, maybe because they don't have the money or their bodies aren't suited for it. Still terfs love to misgender them and put on their dumb logic of "biological sex" on them. There was one proud terf who called a content creator who was a transwoman a "man" and constantly misgendered her on her YT channel! I'm not gonna name that terf or that transwoman because I don't want to promote that terf's content and her comment-section seems culty because there are hardly any people (or no people) disagreeing with her or even calling her out! Maybe because she deletes comments? It's fucking scary! And she basically boot-licks JKR and Posie Parker (urgh this woman!)

Plus there WERE fans who were transgender that connected to the Harry Potter books on such a personal level and admired JKR so much, only to find out that she's such a big transphobe and would stick to it! Can't imagine what they went through or are going through!

Anyways, thanks for reading through my rant if you did. If a transphobe is reading it, please back off.

[olderthannetfic]

The anti in your inbox arguing that some stuff Japanese people write is illegal somewhere, therefore it is bad made me chuckle. It's illegal in my home state of Kentucky (the most cursed US state except Florida) to speak, hum, sing, skip, jog or dance if trans, because that is, legally speaking, grooming.

So if legality determines morality, does that mean speaking to you as I'm doing right now is bad? The anon said to check your local laws, after all. Not to think about them, not to ask if the law is based in logic, not to question what the reason behind the law is, not to ever go, "does fiction cause people to suddenly lose control of themselves and rape a child or is a grown ass adult to blame for the rape they committed?" or "does a trans person humming near a child turn them trans or is someone's gender unaffected by humming, given cis people hum near children regularly without turning them cis?"

Are you queer, anon? It's illegal in my dad's home country for queers to speak in the presence of unaccompanied minors, since that's a form of sexually soliciting the child there. That would include this blog. As we are to assume laws are always just and correct, then either you should adhere to that law if you were not a pedophile, which you didn't, or speak and thus prove you are one, which you did.

I fucking hate antis. They're so married to this idea that in the civilized world all the right things are banned that even though there's 491 proposed anti-queer laws in the US and that doesn't include ones that passed, they just keep repeating, "Legal good. Illegal bad."

It's legal to marry and fuck a child in many US states. It is illegal in many US states to own sex toys or have anal sex. By this logic, fucking a child is better than being queer, as it's more legal in some places.

I'm so tired. Antis, does it ever occur to you even once that jackasses can make laws and therefore laws shouldn't be trusted without hesitation or thought?

Each day I find new reasons to want Hobie Brown from Across The Spider-Verse to be real and this is one of them. Antis won't listen to "old" people like my 22 year old ass but Hobie is cis, young and hot. He could get through to them. Wherefore art thou, Spider-Punk?

--

[transexualpirate]

Hi! Saw your post on redberryterf and racism.

I'm not PoC(nebulous USA spicy white but I come from immigrants) but I've been eyeing that user specifically for a fucking minute tbh. Her posts always seemed too edgy and evocative of the alt-right to me, in a way I couldn't quite describe much less prove something wrong with. Lo and behold LOL.

The truth is racism is everywhere there's white people and especially there's racism where there's Not Supposed To Be, like radical leftist organizing.

Queer AND radical feminist spaces host plenty of racism cloaked in whatever politically correct language, because both Queer and Radical Feminist discourse spaces on the English-speaking internet are predominantly white, western, upper middle class and college-educated.

I've seen some women on here try to claim Radical Feminism is *thee* feminism of the rest of the world, but I find that disingenuous. Most American and British radical feminists are nothing like Korean or Chinese radical feminists, and who knows what would happen if we were all in the same conference as those in Mexico, Romania, Greece. A responsible feminist would not try to separate herself from racism in her own movement by claiming The PoC Agree and would instead acknowledge and address it.

Climbed in your inbox because I think it will do us all a service to discuss how racism is enabled in leftist spaces regardless of the rest of our political alignments x have a good day.

hello!! i really appreciate this, so thank you. i agree with what you said wholeheartedly (ill have to look up the poc agree, though, not very familiar with that). i think people assume that just because a space is far left it is automatically exempt from racism, which is just. factually incorrect.

i mean, to begin with, there is no community in the whole world that is fully exempt from any sort of bigotry. that just doesn't happen. there is no community like that. not the trans community, not the queer community, not the radfem community, that's just not real. the thing is that bigots are everywhere. sometimes they do it out of malice, "infiltrating" those spaces aware that what they're parroting is harmful but uncaring, but more likely it's just ignorance, completely unaware that what they're saying is Actually Bad because they've been trained to not question their own thoughts ever.

so whether it's malice or ignorance, it is a lie to say that (x) community is completely free of all bigotry, which is a feeling that i have seen, whether implicitly or explicitly, in a lot of rad-whatever spaces. i mean, have you fucking browsed the "radqueer" tag over here on tumblr? that shit has more intolerance than fucking fox news and it's all completely masked under "radical acceptance", "positivity" and "equality". that is not what you'll find in their communities, though. and though not as extreme or as obvious, the radfem community is like that in many ways.

the fact that your community has a common goal of equality does not mean that your methods are sensible or justified, and it definitely doesn't mean the members of your community are somehow magically exempt from being the sort of people that actively goes against equality.

my problem with the radfem community specifically goes a bit further than just the general lack of awareness and accountability about and to the occasional bigot hiding in plain sight. i believe the entire community is built on a narrative that ends up being a type of "slippery slope" that very often leads to bigotry. so more than the occasional bigot, i think a lot of what is in the radfem community actively leads people to be less tolerant and accepting of others, in many ways.

one of them is the fact that a lot of classic and even some modern radfem writers and activists were and are incredibly racist (and sometimes homophobic as well), which is a fact that is rarely acknowledged in radfem spaces, if at all. and it shouldn't be just acknowledged, there should be some sort of active work to push the ideas influenced by that hate out of the community.

i also believe that when put in practice, a lot of radfem beliefs make people assume that women are the most oppressed group there is, automatically putting them as winners in the oppression olympics and completely disregarding how being negatively affected by one axis of oppression doesn't erase the fact that you can still be privileged in other ways. if women are the True Oppressed Class, then they can't oppress anyone else in any other way. maybe they can acknowledge that certain women can oppress other women, but anyone outside of their class? unfathomable. and this perpetuates many harmful rethorics.

another big problem i have is, naturally, the transphobia, leading radfems to more often than not become terfs. the unwillingness to accept that someone that wasn't Born A Woman(tm) can find genuine joy and comfort in womanhood - it must be a lie to hurt women, or a mental illness acquired through degeneracy, or a mockery, because women are the True Oppressed Class, after all, that's the opposite of joy and comfort. or the unwillingness to accept that someone that was Born A Woman(tm) might not find womanhood suit for them for many reasons, not all of them born from misogyny. but i know that we're talking specifically about the racism in that community and that is fine. im just making a link to how hate is often "intertwined", and one will feed the other.

regarding racism specifically, i do think the radfem community needs to do better in acknowledging and fighting it, more than most communities considering the aforementioned points. unfortunately, the only radfems ive seen on tumblr actively work for that were menalez and another one who's url i cant remember right now.

regarding bigotry in general, i think most radfems need to rethink a lot of stuff and see where their priorities lay. i think all communities would benefit from that, truly, specially left leaning and far left ones that believe themselves to be Truly Good And Pure (free from hate) - including the trans community, for the record.

and i think people of color aren't listened enough in society, which results in us being shut down when speaking about how that reflects in our respective communities, which results in people like redberryterf feeling comfortable enough to share her horribly racist opinions freely and without a care. i personally had already gotten into a debate with her before in which i told her she had to rethink some stuff but naturally i was ignored. which is why i referred to her as a well known person in the community: i don't interact that often but i had already stumbled across her posts multiple times and a lot of them have a LOT of likes. she isn't as big as menalez or that pineapple blog, but she was definitely influential in some way. and yet no one called her out on her bigotry until it was as obvious as it can be. i mean, it doesn't get any clearer than "i don't care that im being racist". she was spoonfed so much hatred that her perception of reality was altered to the point where being racist was probably a bad thing, but it was fine as long as it was towards men. then it's warranted. she's a woman, after all, the supreme oppressed class, she could never oppress anyone else.

anyways, this was a long fucking way of saying To Fight Bigotry You Have To Study Your Roots, Acknowledge Nuance And Different Points Of View, Listen To And Spread Awareness About Marginalized People and Never Ever Assume That You Are Exempt From Bigotry. That's A Sign That You Are Parroting Bigotry.

thank you for your ask. i think it's super important to find common ground with people you disagree with, and fighting racism is always important. im sorry for the long fucking reply, i hope it was at least a little bit coherent. sorry for occasional grammar mistakes or poor english in general, it isn't my first language. and have a good day!

[demonic-shadowlucifer]

Let's talk about Exclusionists and how they harm the community they claim to protect: A collection of hate.

Welp! Pride Month is just around the corner, and with it, exclusionist and TERF rhetoric. A few disclaimers before we get into this: -While this is about the harmful things Exclusionists have done, I would like to add that the Inclusionist Community can be *just* as guilty of doing the things I'm about to mention. -Furthermore, I believe that both the "Inclusionist" and "Exclusionist" labels are kind of pointless tbh, since being inclusive is just the bare minimum, y'know? -TERFs and their variants will also be mentioned since TERF Rhetoric is a frequent thing in Exclusionist communities, especially in Longsword Lesbian communities. -This is not intended to be a discourse post at all, this is mostly for educational purposes and awareness. Furthermore, I don't think being queer should be controversial at all.

-And of course, HEAVY trigger warning for the following: Exclusionism, TERF Rhetoric, Ableism, Suicide Bait, Encouragement of Violence and more. For this post, I have collected screenshots of many hurtful things exclusionists have said, and evidence to prove links to rhetoric from non-queer homophobes. These are screenshots from Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram as well. I give credit to @/animefacialreconitionsoftware01 on Tumblr, Exclusionist Struggle Tweets on Twitter, exclusmoment on Instagram and many others for these screenshots.

So, hang on, what even is an exclusionist?

An exclusionist is a group of mostly queer individuals who attempt to gatekeep the LGBTQ+ Community by claiming certain groups aren't truly queer or "not queer enough".

Exclusionist can be used on it's own, but also as an umbrella term for other groups, such as: Mspec Exclusionists (Battleaxe Bis) - A group of exclusionists that believe that other Multisexual labels outside of "Bi" are harmful, or that they're the same as bisexual. Their primary targets tend to be pansexuals and panromantics. Transmedicalists - A group of mostly exclusionists (Mostly trans people, but occasionally cis people), who believe that you must meet a certain number of requirements in order to be Transgender. While every transmedicalist has different views, the most common opinion is that dysphoria is required to be trans. One well known Transmedicalist is Kalvin Garrah. Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists (TERF) - One of the most recognizable Exclusionist groups. While TERFs aren't inherently queer, their rhetoric can overlap with many other groups (Especially Longsword Lesbians and Transmedicalists on some occasions), so they get a mention here. There's not really much to say about them, outside of the fact that they're simply transmisic feminists. Their primary targets include trans women, but they may also target trans men, nonbinary folks, bisexuals and other mspec groups, intersex folks and sometimes ace/aro folks. The group also has *several* links to white supremacy. Longsword Lesbians - Speaking of Longsword Lesbians, this is a group that intends to fight lesbian erasure. This one might have had good intentions at first, but then started excluding other lesbians, becoming an exclusionist group, though I can't get much information on it's origins. Their primary targets include Nonbinary Lesbians, Mspec Lesbians and PNC Lesbians. They may also exclude GNC lesbians and trans lesbians, though not all of them do. Gravity Knife Gays - Exclusionists that target other gay men, primary nonbinary gays, Mspec Gays and PNC Gays. They may also target GNC gay men and trans gay men, though not all of them do. Aspec Exclusionists - I don't think I need to explain this one. So, why are they bad?

Well, there's evidence on how it's bad. Outside of erasure and gatekeeping harmless identities, a lot of exclusionists have a straight up habit of harassing other queer folks or calling for harassment. And there's plenty of evidence to prove it as well. I'm going to warn you, some of these contain suicide bait and slurs. Please proceed with caution if that sort of thing stresses you out. Some words are censored to avoid getting banned (and for my own comfort as well). Obviously, you have the ones that are simple gatekeeping, which is almost always bad.

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "alpinestag". The text reads "REAL lesbians don't date or sleep with men in their past lives! Let's be real, if your soul married a man 1000 years ago, you're bisexual"). I *was* originally going to give this person the benefit of the doubt and assume they were joking, but when I looked they had a *lot* of TERFy shit on their blog, so they were definitely serious.

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "didcourze". The text reads "on asexuals having sex, why would u want to have sex with someone if not attracted to them? i get it u still have a sex drive even if ure not attracted to people sexually but how could you justify using someone that u clearly have no interest in solely for sex, ur own pleasure, like that's so fucked??") And then, there's folks that will take it to more extreme levels, like these fellas. This one might not be calling for harassment, but it is *heavily* implied.

(Image ID: A screenshot from a Twitter post in dark mode that shows another screenshot of a Twitter user's bio, also in dark mode. Some information is blacked out in red. The primary tweet has the text "Fucking trenders. Excluse do your thing 💖" The screenshot of the twitter bio below the text contains many plant emojis and heart emojis, and shows the text "I genuinely want to be nice to you all", "hy/him/hers", "transmasch butch boi. OMNIGAY", "'TRENDER" on T" and other information about their location, age, followers and following and the join date. End ID). This one on the other hand... this is blatant harassment.

(Image ID: A screenshot of a Tumblr ask from an anonymous user. The message reads "transwomen are men and if they were really women you wouldnt have to be screaming it 100 times. also k yourself.". A word that starts with k is also blocked out in red. End ID). "Asexuals don't experience oppression" ....Are you sure about that?

(Image ID: A screenshot of a Tumblr dm by a user named "aphobickaito". Some words are blacked out in red. The messages read "D bitch.". Did your daddy r you so hard that your brain got fucked too and you think this dragon cake shit is funny? Because that's some shit". End ID) For those wondering, the last censored word is the r-slur. Some posts will also advocate for straight up violence, like these ones below.

(Image ID: A screenshot of a Tumblr post from a user named "aletheius". The text reads "I love being aphobic. if you don't want to bed the love of your life you should be beaten up and stuffed in a locker".)

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter message/post from user "gowonstiara". The text reads "asexuals deserve to d*3". End ID).

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter user's bio in dark mode. Some information and words are blocked out in either red or blue. A scribble of blue has the words "Irrelevant stuff here". The rest of the bio reads "k all bi/pan lesbians". End ID).

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter post from user "brontydownunder" in dark mode. The text reads "'They're putting asexuals in concentration camps in China' good. Put more". End ID).

(Image ID: An screenshot of a post containing an image of a cropped Asexual flag. The text on the flag is slightly edited, and reads "START KILLING US". End ID) A lot of exclusionist posts also have a *lot* of suicide bait in them as well, such as these ones shown below. Again, scroll with caution if you are sensitive to these sorts of things. There is also an f-slur being used with malicious intent in one of these.

(Image ID: A twitter post from user "beebies" in dark mode, with the two e's replaced by 3. Part of the text has been blocked out with red. The text reads "if u go by they/them go k ll urself no offense lol 😍". End ID). I was going to censor the slur in this one, but decided not to just to show how malicious exclusionists really can be.

(Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr notification. Part of the text is blacked out in red. The text reads "net-angel reblogged your post: asexual faggots sh t yourself challenge". End ID) And then there's some that will just straight up admit to hating certain groups and even harassing them. Others will admit to being fucking proud of their bigotry.

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter post from "sinboundhaibane" in dark mode. The text reads "i hate trans men, yes. if you understood the material realities of the situation, you would hate them too".)

(Image ID: A screenshot of a twitter post from an unknown Twitter user. The text reads "does anyone have edits they want views on i'm about to bully a bi/pan lesbian supporter 🏃‍♀️". End ID)

(Image ID: Two tweets from Twitter users "pipcrgrace" and "ssapphrodite". The text on the first tweet reads "just say you hate he him lesbians and move on...", the text on the second tweet has four variations of "i hate he/him lesbians" and "i ha" at the end. End ID).

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "jwjdhdjsksks". The text reads "The panphobes are out in full force today and I'm so proud". End ID). It should be obvious on why this is bad. Advocating for harassment or straight up violence, or telling someone to hurt themselves over their identity is NEVER a good thing no matter how you look at it. No buts, whats or ifs. And that's not even the end of this either. There's also some exclusionists who will restate the *same exact* rhetoric that Anti-LGBTQ+ people spew around. Here's a look.

TERF rhetoric (And invalidation of nonbinary identities)

(Image ID: Three tweets from three users with their names blocked by red, yellow and teal respectively. The screenshot is taken in light mode. The first tweet reads "I've spoken to many girls on here who did transition due to bullying/pressure. Lesbians are also attracted to girls." The second reads The two aren't mutually exclusive, either. Some trans men and trans women identify as lesbians, too.". The third tweet reads "Lesbians are female only.". End ID). Hmmm, I wonder where I've heard THIS before.

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from an individual who's username is pixeled out. The text reads "I really hate the Blue's Clues pride video. They are literally forcing their mogai shit on to little kids. Why do they have to feed kids bs like "nonbinary gender identities" and "pansexuality" on to children!? Why? (Just to clarify: I am not against teaching children about LGBT stuff, I am against teaching children bs)." End ID). Some will admit to straight up misgendering people as well. Again, seems familiar?

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "feminismnightmare". The text reads "Hi if you claim to be trans and tell me you're not dysphoric I'm going to use your biological pronouns". End ID). *More* TERF rhetoric (I would also like to point out that the saying "men are trash" is almost always a red flag, no matter the intent, due to it's high usage with TERFs).

(Image ID: A screenshot from an unknown Twitter user. The text reads "Lesbianism is understandable because men are trash. Gayness is fair because trash like trash. Bisexual = greedy. Trans = mental illness. All the others.. nonsense". End ID)

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, a *LOT* of Exclusionists I've seen are also incredibly ableist and racist as well.

Many Exclusionists claim that some queer groups harm neurodivergent folks and POC, but... are we *really* sure about that?

(Image ID: A Twitter post from user "annadoescare". The screenshot is taken in dark mode. The text reads "i don't care about your mental illness. it's not my problem. stop making up these genders that embarrass the lgbt". End ID)

(Image ID: Two tweets from two users with usernames blocked out in red and yellow respectively. The screenshot is taken in dark mode. The first tweet reads "There are lesbians who like men. There are lesbians who are men. There are lesbians who are straight. There are lesbians who are bisexual. There are all this and more". The second tweet reads "This is why I hate autistics". End ID). ...Excuse me but what the actual FUCK. /neg

(Image ID: A Tumblr comment from user "trans-wojak". The text reads "being racist towards whites won't change slavery" with an analog winking emoji at the end. End ID). Straight up eugenics, TERFism or both? You decide! (I'm also slightly convinced this person has internalized ableism as well, but that's not really my say).

(Image ID: A Tumblr post from user "posttraumaticspacelesbian-blog". Part of text has been blocked out with red. The text reads "as a disabled womon i would like to point out that all disabled men should b k ed" End ID.)

Some will also compare some queer groups to arguably worse shit. Exhibit A:

(Image ID: A post from Twitter user "sinboundhaibane" in dark mode. The text reads "new poem: bi lesbianism is a fascist dogwhistle eat my shit". End ID). Exhibit B:

(Image ID: A post from Tumblr user "postmodern-baseball". The text reads "cops aren't class traitors, nonbinary lesbians are." End ID) And there's a SHITTON more too. But I could never do it justice in this post, especially with TERFs. Now, before you exclusionists come at me with "But NOT ALL OF US ARE LIKE THAT!" or "Inclusionists do this too!" First off, I am fully aware that inclusionists are guilty of some of these as well, which is why I don't use the inclusionist label. But that's besides the point, I don't care if you're not like the folks in this post. I don't care if not every exclusionist is like this. THIS is what Exclusionism promotes. THIS is what Exclusionism encourages. Exclusionism is always going to encourage harassment and infighting. No matter how civil you are, no matter how "chill" you are, no matter how "nice you are, it doesn't matter in the end. By excluding other queer folks from queer spaces, you are actively condoning harassment. No, I don't want to hear any excuses. Exclusionism has and always will be harmful to other queer communities. Still don't believe me? Here's some videos that show and explain the exact same thing, as well as some other educational videos thrown into the mix. Transmedicalism: An Investigation. Breaking my Silence on Kalvin Garrah: Part One, Part Two , Part Three. Inside a Cult: A Series about Gender Criticals. Why is Queer Discourse so Toxic?

Addressing my "Lesbophobia" - A Rant about Mspec Lesbian Exclusionism.

What are TERFs?

The problem with Radical Feminism.

And of course, here's my Mspec Lesbian Exclusionism analysis post.

[dee-the-red-witch]

The Monthly Roundup

Okay, normally, this is just a free monthly post over on my Patreon, but I figured I should push this out into the wild as well, because this kind of stuff's always needed. Want this, and a bunch of weekly readings from a cursed tarot deck, media reviews, and other content including fiction and the occasional build post? Maybe consider adding me over there as well. Anyways, like I said, it's a monthly roundup- in this case a bigass collection of links and resources for folks interested in pursuing gender transition one way or another. And while a bunch of it is transfem specific and sometimes medical transition specific, because it's stuff I dug up while hunting down things for myself, there's also things in there good for anyone of any gender, and resources for legal/social transition as well. And this is long enough to deserve a cut for once, so...

Hey! What If *I'M* trans?

The Gender Dysphoria Bible- https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en Wondering if you're experiencing Gender Dysphoria? This may be a good place to start. Realize the GDB is slanted largely towards transfem folks, so it doesn't necessarily apply evenly to everyone, but it does cover a lot of ground that folks may identify with.

Trans Medical Resources

DIY HRT- https://diyhrt.cafe/index.php/Main_Page (for legal reasons, I'm going to tell you to at least try to see a licensed physician or endocrinologist before starting to DIY your own hormones, but keep in mind, I'm not your responsible adult, and if you don't choose to listen, that's on you) This is the main, best hub for sourcing and getting info on doing your own hormone therapy. Keep in mind, it's once again slanted towards feminizing methods, because testosterone is still a controlled substance in most of the world (which is bloody fucking stupid, but that's a rant for another time).

GALAP- The Gender Affirming Letter Access Project- https://thegalap.org/ While we may have new WPATH guidelines with the Soc 8 updates that dropped a little bit ago, most providers and insurers are still on outdated requirements that insist on letters from mental health providers for transgender-related care. Which can affect access to surgeries, HRT, and more. GALAP exists to connect folks with providers who'll give those letters,m in some cases free of charge even.

Gynecologist List- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview This one's more for uterus-owners in general and less trans-specific, but giventhe number of folks with uteri who'd can end up with a hard time finding a willing doctor for some procedures, it's important for everyone. This is a Google database of hundreds of gynecologists, listed by location, willing to perform sterilization procedures with informed consent, without secondary authorization from anyone else. The list is patient-vetted, so your mileage may vary, but for those seeking sterilization and/or hysterectomies as part of their transition it may prove to be invaluable as a resource, because doctors willing to do this work can be few and rare in some areas.

Transfeminine Science- https://transfemscience.org/ Articles, journals and all sorts of researching into, well, just what the name says, transfeminizing science. A lot of medical professionals simply don't have knowledge in the field and are acting on what they learned in med school, which may be way out of date. If they're willing to listen, there's stuff in there to help bring them up to speed. Better yet, it;'s also a great resource to educate yourself so you can advocate for your own care a bit better.

Other Transition resources (legal, social, etc)

NCTE's ID GUIDE- https://transequality.org/documents The National Transgender Center for Equality's guide to changing your legal identity, in a handy format that lets you break it down by state or territory, or even federal documents (United States only, sorry.) and links to the right paperwork to use. Rainbow Passage- https://rainbowpassage.org/ It sucks that we need organizations like this in these times, but I'm glad to see there's people already stepping up to the task. Rainbow Passage is an organization dedicated to helping trans youth get out of trans-hostile states and relocate to safer areas. And if you can, volunteering for them is a great way to help improve safety for trans folk in general.

Seattle Voice Lab- https://www.seattlevoicelab.com/ if you've seen me on social media much lately, then you've seen me talking about this place. This is who I'm (through February and March at least) taking voice lessons through to feminize my own voice more. They also have a bunch of online resources, a discord server, and other help if you need to figure your own vocal chords out a bit better.

Strands For Trans- https://strandsfortrans.org/ Need a haircut, or color or other beauty services you're using for the first time ever as an out trans person and you're not sure where's going to be safe to go? Strands For Trans is the first comprehensive database of Aesthetics businesses for hair and everything, AND THEY VET THE BUSINESSES, to ensure your safety and comfort.

TLC's Life-Planning Guide- http://transgenderlawcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/TLC_Life-Planning-Documents-Transgender.pdf The Transgender Law Center put this guide together specifically for planning end-of-life details. Yes, it's a depressing and tragic thing, but protecting and making sure our identities are still properly preserved after we die is still just as an important part of what we're fighting as anything else is. This guide will help you with establishing a Living Will, controlling hospital visits, and setting up proper Powers of Attorney, so that nothing potentially falls back into the hands of people who might refuse to recognize who you truly are. (In many states, you can designate someone other than your next of kin to take charge of your body when you die (next of kin is defined by law, not by preference). If you need to do that, go to nolo.com and look up article on "[your state] funeral law" to get a rundown on if and how to do this.

Trans Media

The Digital Transgender Archive- https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net "The purpose of the Digital Transgender Archive (DTA) is to increase the accessibility of transgender history by providing an online hub for digitized historical materials, born-digital materials, and information on archival holdings throughout the world." (In short, this is one of several free libraries of trans history.)

Totally Trans- https://www.patreon.com/totallytrans/posts Hey, look at that, it's another Patreon! Except, no, wait, it's a podcast! Totally Trans looks at media both historical and modern with a transgendered lens. Sometimes it's silly fun, other times, it's great insights into queer and trans history, and all around it's a great show to add on whatever service you're already getting podcasts through- or you can hit the link above to help support them at the same time for early access.

Trans News, Blogs, and Notes

Erin In The Morning: https://www.erininthemorning.com/ Erin's newsletter runs almost daily these days, mostly with updates regarding trans legislation all around the US. It's a good way to stay up to date, but it can also be a drag these days, largely because it's practically just a constantly expanding list of bad news thanks to the GOP right now.

Stained Glass Woman: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/ aka Doc Impossible/Zoe. I first discovered her work and writing when WPATH released their new SOC 8 guidelines, because she was one of the few people that could make the thing actually make sense in non-legalese. But I subscribed andkeep following here for regular updates both because she presents a trans coming out narrative that was just a joy to read, and also covers interesting  news in the field of trans medicine from time to time. Definitely worth adding to your feed.

A Self Defense Study Guide for Trans Women and Gender Non-Conforming / Nonbinary AMAB Folks: https://www.silversprocket.net/2021/09/13/a-self-defense-study-guide-for-trans-women-and-gender-non-conforming-nonbinary-amab-folks/

This is, quite honestly, one of the best self-defense guides I've seen for gender-nonconforming folks (and one of the few, to be honest), short of private defense instruction. AND it's available to read in full for free at that link, or in print for just a 5$ donation. Go check it out.

Other general roundups

Grassroots GAC Resources- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19kSzBLo_hjpiBjHN8tvK73sVHU25NKWjMau2vNl8uuM/edit#gid=778305468 Google spreadsheet of links in general, from therapy help and hrt assistance, to all sorts of other info, some of which are repeats from here, but there's also a bunch of others I haven't had time or opportunity to vet yet.

[foolschancey]

Who are you, no really?

I love that so many services are built for the socially awkward Millennial these days. Get odds and ends or just a needed meal delivered to my door? Don't mind if I do! Groceries that I can just pickup and don't have to walk across a parking lot sized store to find and then purchase? I'm right there!

It's also great because it works so well with my trans journey. Lets me avoid awkward stares and weird looks that drain my batteries and daily spoon budget with. It helps me keep my space feeling safe and comfy.

The part that's not so great about it is how much work I need to do to be seen as myself. All of the apps and services do so much to verify who you are. Even when checking in with a location based app that should already be verifying my identity. this morning I had a nice person ask for my name and I said Amelia like usual but then she asked for the last name for verification. I then smiled to avoid gritting my teeth and provided my name.

This might seem like a small thing that maybe Cis peeps may not pickup on but I get that extra small verification question often enough that I've realized what it is. "You don't match what I think this name is. Who are you, really?". For reference I was the only car at the pickup corral and had just checked in with the app. I don't know how I could have been some random pulling up and guessing my first name randomly for free groceries. That small extra verification could be nice because they're trying to make sure I'm in fact picking up my own groceries but I'm most certainly Amelia and continually proving that to the world when my voice doesn't match is soo tiresome.

Tiresome because I just woke up and decided to skip my mandatory daily shave and makeup routine so I could make the pickup window on time. Because I am so clearly me and the apps go through so much work to already prove to you who I am already.

I know this is a frustration that will pass. I know that I'm still early in my journey. I know that laser hair removal (once I can afford it) will eventually remove the daily shave requirement. That once that part is gone throwing on makeup will take less than 5 minutes to get out the door so doing it before going to pickup groceries wont feel like a chore. I know that my voice is good and once I'm warmed up and ready for the day people will say ma'am and young lady (both of which happened to me last night!!!)

One day it wont feel like I have to be a warmed up actor/voice actor in makeup and "costume" to just be seen as the name that shows up on the app. People will always genuinely see me as Amelia. No secondary or followup verification needed. Obligatory selfie! Sure I look rough, sure I haven't had coffee, meds or done shave and makeup yet but I am definitely me and I'm definitely cute af!

Stay silly :)

[hyperlexichypatia]

I was going to make a post about urscourse* but I got tired.

*Ursine discourse a/k/a "Would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods?"

A bunch of women said they'd be more afraid of running into a strange man in the woods than running into a bear, a bunch of men got Big Mad, and then a bunch of progressive feminists galaxy-brained themselves into the take that this is all very wrong because misandry is a real problem.

Y'all... we do not have to take bad-faith antifeminist arguments as sincere.

No one, ever, is denying civil rights or human rights to men because they are men. No one is proposing denying civil rights or human rights to men because they are men.

The question is not "Should men be banned from going into the woods?" or "Should you call the police if you see a man in the woods?" or "Should men be discriminated against because of the bad actions of a few?"

Those things are not and never have been on the table.

"Most men aren't murderers." Correct. But the vast majority of murderers are men.

"What about Good Men?" What about them?

"What about queer or otherwise marginalized men?" Again, what about them?

"Women do bad things too!" They do. It's just that stranger murder and stranger sexual assault are very, very rarely among them.

"Stranger violence is vanishingly rare already! Most assaults and murders are committed by someone the victim knows!" Yep. They're rare. And when they do happen, they're almost always perpetrated by men.

"Gender is a social construct." Yes, it is! And the way gender is socially constructed is that people of one gender are allowed and encouraged to commit violence against people of other genders.

"Saying that men are more dangerous than women is validating gender essentialism or the gender binary!" No. Men teaching other men that the way to prove their manhood is by physically and/or sexually overpowering women, children, queer people, people outside the gender binary, other non-men, and gender-non-conforming men are attempting to reinforce gender essentialism and the gender binary. Women and non-men and GNC men who point this out are not the problem.

"But how is feminists saying that men are statistically dangerous different from bigots saying that [minority group] is statistically dangerous?" Sigh. Okay. It's not just that the power differential is different. It's not just that the statistical accuracy of the claim is different. It is, more importantly, more fundamentally, that the solution being proposed is different.

When bigots say "Well, [oppressed group] might be DANGEROUS, look at these (doctored, decontextualized) crime statistics!" they are using that claim to advocate denying people's basic human rights. The conclusion (stated or unstated) is "...and that's why we should leave refugees to die" or "...and that's why police brutality against people of color is okay" or "...and that's why trans people shouldn't be allowed to use the bathroom" or "...and that's why neurodivergent people should be forcibly drugged."

If the question were "Should men be banned from walking in the woods because they're dangerous?" or "Should women call the police on men walking in the woods?" or "Should all men everywhere be locked up?" ...Then "Not all men" or "Most men aren't violent" or "Women can be violent too" would be relevant responses. But those aren't the questions -- those aren't the proposed solutions -- so those responses aren't relevant.

"What about oppressed men?" isn't relevant not only because oppressed men aren't oppressed for being men, but also because no one is advocating oppressing men for being men. The man is not being in any way, even hypothetically, harmed in this scenario.

The solution being proposed isn't even "Women should avoid strange men in the woods" -- the point is that most women already do avoid strange men in the woods.

The solution being proposed is "Men should stop culturally normalizing physical and sexual violence as part of masculinity."

We don't need to add additional nuance to that, because "Not all men are violent" and "Some women are violent" and "Gender is a false binary" are all true, but are irrelevant to the solution being proposed.

"Gender shouldn't matter." I agree! Gender shouldn't matter! I would love to live in a world where gender doesn't matter! I would love to live in a world where I could run into a stranger in the woods without even thinking about what gender they are!

But in order to get to that world, men -- not "people," not "all of us," but specifically MEN -- have to stop basing their identity on physical and sexual violence against other people (especially non-men).