wtf did you do to have that many people after you lmfao
i resent the implication that i did something to deserve being treated like shit on the heel of people's shoes for literal years, but if you must know i made a few too many cringe posts and liked problematic media (dream smp) back when that was a big deal. looking back i recognise that i was a bit annoying and that i could have been more reasonable in how i behaved, particularly in response to legitimate criticism, but i want to stress that none of the merciless unthinking cruelty i endured made me want to change or even think i could. i had to rebuild from the ground up after literally falling apart under the stress people were putting on me for their own entertainment because the alternative was fucking killing myself, which i genuinely thought was the answer because i'd been convinced by my bullies that i was a threat to everyone around me and would be doing the world a favour by letting "better" people take my place.
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Okay!!! Finally (Finally, this has been months in the making and redone several times) I made a lineup of my Iterator designs!!! They're done and I'm really happy with them.
Misc headcanons under the cut
All: Asexual, Trans
Looks To The Moon: She/Her, Demiromantic Lesbian
Five Pebbles: He/Him, Greyromantic MLM
No Significant Harassment: They/Sometimes He, Aromantic
Seven Red Suns: They/Them, Demiromantic Bi
Moon and NSH are both Gen 1. NSH was Moon’s first junior and friend, and they are extremely close because of it.
Suns is early Gen 2 and was created by a particularly aesthetically inclined group, resulting in their slightly more ornate clothing.
Pebbles is put off by NSH’s humor, thinking that if they’re a Gen 1, then shouldn’t they act like it?
NSH’s humor is actually sourced from their life experience. They’re relatively comfortable with themself and know how to see the bright side in most situations. (Moon’s collapse not being one of them. They were completely devastated; even moreso once assigned Senior in her stead.)
Moon loves Pebbles and wants him to be happy and healthy. He thinks she’s too overbearing, but loves her too deep down.
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thinking about the undersea again. can't wait for gillion "don't practice what you preach" tidestrider to see the elders again ESPECIALLY after being factory reset in the navy stronghold. can't wait for chip and jay, who KNOW what they did to him to some extent, to bring up everything he's told them (about being good enough for yourself, about standing up to authority figures, about doing what YOU think is right) only for him to keep making excuses for the elders. to keep defending them when they really, truly do not deserve it. can't wait for jay and chip to finally see him acting like the soldier the elders raised in full. to see him stonefaced and rigid, always at attention, hesitant to speak to the elders unless spoken to. to look in his eyes when the elders address him, and seeing only fear. can't wait fo-- *gets shot*
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My favourite character type: Metaphorically Tortured and Literally Covered in Blood
Jang Uk from Alchemy of Souls counts, even though I don't think he's ever simultaneously tortured and covered in blood, but that is only because that series doesn't use a lot of blood. Dude was mentally tortured and literally killed 86 people in one go, there should be blood.
In order: Jang Uk & Naksu/Mu-deok/Cho Yeong Alchemy of Souls, Han Ri-ta & Kim Do-ha Moon in the Day, Kang Cheol W: Two Worlds, Myul Mang/Kim Sa-ram Doom at Your Service, Lee Chang & Seo-bi Kingdom, Lee In Captivating the King, Lee Rang Tale of the Nine Tailed/1938, Jang Man-wol Hotel Del Luna, Moo-yeon/Yoon Seok-ha 100 Days My Prince
Each time I asked myself, "Are they actually covered in blood or did they just get a little on them? Are they sufficiently tortured or do they only have minor mental turmoil?" These are very strict, scientific criteria.
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did nobody ask you for red letter day? absurd! *I* wanna know about red letter day!
hello captain and friend anon!!! I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN SIX MILLION YEARS SO THANK YOU FOR THESE ASKS <333
okay SO the first thing is, you have to understand, my list of documents for this fic looks like this:
anyway i do love this fic even though it FIGHTS ME; it's supposed to have both Fights and Mysteries and both are hard to write 😅
anyway hmmm i'm going to cheat by including a Dick POV section that I am probably gonna end up cutting, because i like it but i also worry that it slows down the dialogue?
excerpt below the cut! the only context that you need is that Dick and Tim have been having the "should Tim call if there's danger in Gotham" argument again (Tim's position is "no"), partly because they both have genuine positions on this argument, but also because it enables them to sublimate an emotional conflict into a work conflict and thus avoid talking or thinking about their feelings, which is a shared pathology goal:
Dick would bet Tim never mouthed off to Bruce like this. One of the many things that suck about being the knock-off Batman is that none of Dick’s orders really stick. All of the responsibility without the authority to back it up. At least when Dick was leading the Titans, they did what he freaking told them.
…Mostly.
…Okay, sometimes.
The awful truth is—and he tries not to dwell on it because it’s pointless and doesn’t achieve anything, but—everything with Tim, sometimes it reminds him of the worst times with the Titans. The same uneasy feeling of dread, like he’s grabbing for someone who’s slipping through his fingers. Roy’s crossed arms. The clock creeping toward midnight, staring at the champagne, knowing in his heart that Kory wasn’t coming. After Tartarus: watching Roy walk out of the room, watching Donna follow him, staring at Vic’s back, Kory’s back, all of them walking out, and no one left but the newcomers. When the personal is so fucked up that all you can do is double-down on the professional, and even that doesn’t help, and then—
(Get a grip, Grayson.)
And anyway, this isn’t like the Titans, is it? Dick was out-of-line, there, in retrospect. He’s never been good at losing people gracefully. Pushing Kory for marriage when she was already pulling away, trying to cling to her instead of letting her go. Giving ultimatums after Tartarus, when he knew the team already resented his orders. Making decisions behind Vic’s back, trying to force him to stay. It’s an ugly bad habit, picked up from Bruce: things are slipping, and your people are mad at you, so you get scared, and then you get authoritative and controlling so you can hang onto them, except you can’t control them, so then they get even angrier and you lose them anyway.
It’s easy to see in Bruce, hard to see in himself, but he knows it’s there. He barely managed to catch himself in time, with the Titans.
Is he doing the same thing to Tim? Does he need to back off?
But Gotham is risky. Tim’s always been capable, obviously, but…it’s okay to be a bit authoritative, isn’t it? Tim should call if there’s someone who looks unusually dangerous. That’s just common sense. Dick’s not asking for miracles, here.
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