#i'm so socially awkward that its off putting i think

[emotionalsupportvape]

PLEASE SEND GOOD VIBES YALL

i have an interview in an hour at my old job and i am DESPERATE to get it 😭

been unemployed since august and have $13 to my name with over $10k credit card debt from paying bills. cards are maxed out now and i've been so so depressed.

pls pls pls guys if you pray, pray for me!!

[sanemisstalker]

N/SFW. Minors DNI

CW: GN reader / Men's Mental Health IG ???

KNY characters that I think are more prone to cumming in their pants / NSFW

Giyu

-He's inexperienced.

-I admire the almost fandom consensus of him being either resident, sexy, black haired, quiet anime boy, and/or 'nobody likes this friendless loser, he definitely has a tumblr'

-Any attention, platonic or not, from someone he's attracted to is enough to make Giyu get an apparent boner. He's prone to them when the people he admires say genuinely nice things to him.

-He doesn't get to hear nice things a lot, nor does he take compliments easily, so when he believes them, his body can't help but believe them too.

-He'd rather it not be that way, but due to his floundering mental health, and general isolation, Giyu isn't jerking off very often, nor is he able to get it up when he wants to, so he just goes... months without thinking about it sometimes.

-Could definitely cum from kissing too hard. Not just kissing, but particularly the rough treatment.

-Giyu must be incredibly touch starved, I imagine. I can't fiction the last time he's hugged someone. That scene where he's holding Shinobu, perhaps?

-So when he's getting so much attention, especially so much positive, romantic attention, even if it's a little rough, I'm sure his dick would be at full mast.

-he doesn't think he's predisposed to masochism or anything. He'd hope he wasn't, but it feels better when he's kissing, and maybe his hair is being pulled on, just a little.

-he'd be very embarassed. He wouldn't cry or anything, but I think he'd get up and leave the room. He knows you knew what happened, he didn't moan, but he flinched because the build up was so immediate, and he just couldn't stop.

-How pathetic. He can't show his face infront of you ever again. All he does is ruin good things. You're definitely disgusted by him.

-Even if he didn't realize how pretty his face looked during his orgasm.

Gyutaro

-Everyday I fight the gyutaro incel allegations, and everyday I fail.

-Gyutaro is socially inept, to put it blatantly. He spends an incredible amount of time locked away in his sister, and rarely chooses to come out unless eating for the two, or-

-if he needs to jerk off. A rarity, nowadays. Looking the way he looks can do a real number on one's ability to self-pleasure. He also isn't able to seek out assistance from any brothels- He still looks the way he looks. He's no Muzan- blessed with the ability to change his appearance at will.

-So when you're on top of Gyutaro, and he feels the curve of your ass in his palm, and your sex is positioned right on top of his, just barely grazing his clothed cock, as you try and teach him how to kiss (he's doing his best, but he knows he's not good-)

-He cums, and he cums hard. He grips down on your hips, and goes wide eyed, unable to stop the moan that rips its way from his throat... and then quickly moves you off of him.

-He isn't even finished when he moves you, he's shakey armed, and he nearly drops you.

-he's mortified. After all this time, he finally gets someone willing to touch him, and he blows it. He's borderline inconsolable- switching between begging you not to look at him and begging you not to hate him-

-but the noise he made was just so... pathetic.

Haganezuka

-Men dedicated to their craft don't have time to cum? Silly of you to assume he's ever even seen another person naked. That would imply he looked away from a sword for long enough to register it.

-On a completely serious note (as serious as I can be writing this), It'd be quite awkward interacting with Haganezuka sexually. His mind has been so consumed by perfection that, even if he wasn't dedicated to the blade, he's almost prevented himself from ever being able to cum in a social setting.

-He's developed a phobia of new situations he can't control. Especially sexual ones. Swords are easy and gratifying. Why would he ever need to cum when he can just make a sword and have it be respected and revered. Wouldn't that be nice-

-So when you started rubbing him over his pants, he was, admittedly, panicking. It's not like he went nearly 4 decades without using his dick... He'd just... gone 2 and a half decades without using his dick. Nowhere near the same.

-You'd barely even touched it, barely even pressed your lips to his neck, and Haganezuka was panting.

-The fear coursing through his veins, and the attention his forgotten cock was receiving- He grew more unsightly by the second...

-and then you pressed a particularly soft kiss to the corner of his lips and he was done for. That was his first kiss-

-Though shocked, you'd pump Haganezuka through his orgasm. It'd be enough to go through his pants, and spill over your hand.

-He'd grip your robes, and will you closer to him. His heels would slam into the floorboard, and he'd try to bury his face in your neck, attempting to muffle the groan he'd loose, only to fail tremendously.

-He'd be huffy after. Mad at himself and disguising it as being mad at you.

-'Well, maybe you shouldn't touch me anymore, if you found it so gross! Did you consider that? Just not touching me- ever?'

-but you saw how sad he looked when you said you'd do whatever he wanted. What a simple man.

[michelle-is-writing]

Doubt, Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1k~

I've noticed Spencer avoiding me lately and looking rather sad. He doesn't reject me when I give him attention, but its almost as if he never returns the favor. I commonly see him reading a book for a few minutes before losing focus or interest in the work of literature and putting it down with a sigh. It's unusual for Spencer to lose interest in something so quickly, and it's strange for Spencer to not talk to me as much as he usually would.

After returning from a day of work at the BAU, Spencer does what he usually does and places his bag beside the door along with his shoes before stripping off his coat and hanging it up. Walking over to me, he plops down on the couch beside me and plops his head beside my legs. Happy to see him, I smile at down him, moving my hand to lightly drag my finger across his cheek. He doesn't smile at this, but he doesn't pull away from my touch either. This is my moment to ask him.

"Spence, baby," I say his name, causing him to glance up at me. "Are you okay?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "You haven't been your usual self, and I'm kind of worried."

Staring up at me, Spencer stays quiet for several seconds before sighing and answering me. "I'm okay, yes," he answers, sitting up. "I've just... I've just had a few things on my mind lately," With his back facing me, I move closer to him before wrapping my arms around him and pulling him into me, his head laying back on my shoulder.

"Then tell me," I say to him, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Spencer shakes his head in a way that says he doesn't think it's a big deal; we've been dating for so long that we know what each other's movements mean. I know when he purses his lips and shakes his head that he doesn't think something is a big deal. I also know that when Spencer's eyes stare straight ahead instead of meeting mine that he's afraid to tell me something, or he's a bit hesitant in what he's about to say. Even though he's doing all of these, I don't stop asking him until he finally sighs and begins to speak, his voice low.

"I'm not good enough for you," Spencer tells me, making me a little confused. "I can't do a lot of things with you like travel or take you on planned dates without stupid work cutting in," he sighs, closing his eyes. "Besides, I'm never home with you for more than two or three days. Not to mention I'm socially awkward and I sometimes don't know what to say... sometimes, all I can think about is how you're too good for me, and you deserve someone so, so much better."

After hearing his confession, I don't know what to say. I wait a few moments to respond as I slowly process through everything Spence just admitted. I never knew he thought this way, but now it all makes sense. The way he's avoided me for the past few days... the way he constantly apologizes for silly mistakes even though it's not that big of a deal... it all pieces together now.

"I wish you wouldn't say such lies," I finally answer him, placing my hand on the side of his face. Turning him toward me, I push my lips against his, smiling as he kisses back before pulling me into his lap and close to his chest. It's moments like these that I live for, that I dream about. I crave these moments day and night, and when they happen, nothing around me matters. All that matters is my lips on Spencer's, and his heart beating against my own.

Pulling away from the kiss, I rub my thumb against his cheek before finishing my sentence. "But you're all that I've ever wanted in my life," I continue, sighing blissfully while tears come to my eyes. "And if I'm being honest, you're perfect for me. I know that sounds selfish, but-"

Before I can keep on, Spencer's lips reattach themselves to mine again before his hands find their way into my hair. With Spencer finally making the move to kiss me after what feels like forever, I tearfully smile and wrap my arms around his neck, linking my hands together. Soon, we're both lying down on the couch with my body beneath Spencer's own perfect body.

Pulling away to breathe, Spencer smiles softly and sweetly at me, the entire room lighting up as he does so. "You're perfect for me too," He confesses, his voice gentle and calm. "I can't live without you. If you'll have me, I-I'd like to marry you one day," Spencer further concludes, making my eyes widen as everything around me comes to a halt.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" I ask, staring up at him with wide eyes. In response, Spencer gently smiles and nods.

"I don't want it to seem like this is a split-second decision I'll regret later because it isn't, and I know I'll never regret this," He begins, taking my hand in his. "But this feels so right. When thinking about being with you for the rest of my life, I thought maybe you wouldn't want me, but now... it just seems like the perfect moment to do this,"

Leaning back down, Spencer's lips hover over mine as he continues, my full name falling from his lips as I smile with tears in my eyes once again. "If you'll let me, I'd like to make you (Y/n) (M/n) Reid instead," he confesses, smiling. "The only thing I'd ever want to change about you is your last name," his comment makes me giggle before leaning up and attaching my lips to his, holding him closer once more.

"Yes, Spencer," I answer him, pulling back to stare into his beautiful hazelnut orbs. "A million times yes," I add, placing my hands on the sides of his face before kissing him again, my fingers running against the light stubble of his cheeks as his hands find their way to my waist. Once again, my lips are on Spencer's, and our hearts are beating against each other's, although this time, it feels as if our heartbeats are one in the same.

[patricia-taxxon]

Inspired by your last Rambley video, what's a good heuristic for realizing you're in too deep with a hyperfixation? I get pretty obsessed over some stuff but it sorta falls off after a couple of years or so, for the most part.

But, that means I've never (at least not recently, I had that obsession with bats when I was 11-12ish) manually pried myself off of an escapist hyperfixation out of a recognition it's gone too far. I fear that means I'm already years past Too Far and don't realize it.

The complicating part here is imagining myself as a nonhumanthing has been a very pro-social force in my life. Pro-social, anti-reality, maybe. Is escapism okay if it's a group activity?

I think I'm failing to word this correctly but you might get the idea of what I mean.

in this case its cus i was actually dissociating and in pain over the story i made up for him, and i had a bit of an identity crisis after i realized that nothing i feel about myself is real and id actually just deluded myself into thinking i could ever transition into dog in the way i wanted, i played myself. i can't be out here giving myself genuine heartbreak over someone that isn't real. although i still love the tragedy i laid out for us as a story and hope to engage with it in a more healthy way in the future.

I think the reason I got konked out of reality so hard by this little guy is partially cus he feels a lot like me, they put an autism creature in the game. the awkward wordiness, the vies for attention, the self conscious childishness, the fur and cute little ears, he's just like me. The love story just makes too much narrative sense with me, the real person, playing it out. I have real friends though, and Rambley isn't actually going to give me what I need in life. Such is autism.

[yuyanwrites]

Hello, how are you?

Could I request BSD headcannons with Sigma, Poe, Dazai or Chuuya about someone proposing to the reader in front of them!

No pressure with this, if you don't want to do it!

Betrothed to another (fluff ver.)

Dazai, Chuuya, Poe, and sigma x gn!reader (separate)

A/n: I'm indecisive so I'm doing an angsty and fluff ver. ^^

Tags: Established relationship (with character), a child has an innocent crush on reader (and "proposes" to them)

Dazai

He's so childish omg

Argues with the kid

Probably snatched the two-dollar ring the child gave to you

The child would be like "(Name)! Will you marry me?" while holding up a cheap silver ring.

Meanwhile Dazai let out a loud gasp while putting his hand on his forehead like a damsel in distress. "No way! (Name) is marrying me!"

Cue their arguing

Its a back and forth really and you tried to stop their fight but you ended up giving up

You didn't want to break the kid's keart but at the same time you didn't want to deal with an overdramatic dazai

Eventually, the two come to an agreement

The agreement being whoever gets you to agree to marry them first, keeps you

Its silly and you laughed a little at this but dazai is already thinking about what ring to get you in the next week

Chuuya

They're just a kid he told himself

They don't even know about what love actually is

They probably just copied their parents or the disney movies they watched

But then said kid waved the ring in front of your face for the millionth time, still on one knee and was doing a whole speech about how much better than him they are

He couldn't take it

Argues with the kid #2

He really tried to reason with the kids patiently

Explained the kid's crush and how that doesn't equate to marriage and how marriage is a huge commitment and responsibility and everything

However, we all know he has anger issues so after an hour he's arguing with the kid

No agreement, the kid's parents came to pick them up and asked how their last lesson went (You're their tutor) and left

Please comfort Chuuya he's all sulky and grumpy now :(

Poe

The only mature one tbh

Socially awkward

He kind of just stands there

Watching you two with a little frown

He wants to intervene and calmly explain to the child why that's not possible but he gets tongue tied

He tries to write a little scenario to explain love and everythig hfdsakhfjdiksaj hes so sweet <3

Got completely ignored

Got a little upset because of that but stays calm and collected

Instead he lets you handle it while he makes all three of you something to eat

Karl is there to comfort him dw <3

Give him lots of kisses and cuddles after, he deserves it after all he did try

Sigma

Bro is basically a kid in a man's body anyways

Omg does anyone ever think of him of like a man-child ok off topic sorry

I think he'd be a mix of sulky and understanding

At first he'd be a little sad, yeah like just sad, not upset or frustrated like the first two

Just sad

But then he realises its fine because its a kid and he knows you love him <3

It was probably a random kid you babysat spotting you in public

They ran up to you in the mall with a ring in hand and proposed

The parents scolded the kid and apologised to the both of you so there wasn't much to do

Sigma is still understanding the concept of love so he's very understanding after his mini-sadness-phase

Probably smiled at the kid and walked away completely unphased after tbh

Very chill

[slasherscream]

I don't normally like make requests from people if it's obvious I'm sorry for my awkwardness.

Anyway you were saying how you were really into Jordan li recently so am I and I've read every single fanfiction or every rant there is about them and I crave more. I have been in a angst/fluff mood and I haven't seen anyone do this idea either. I was thinking thinking maybe Jordan and reader gets into an argument (not really picky about what) and the argument gets really heated (you know how jordan shifts into their male form to Intimidate or get their point across) Jordan shifts into their male form which scares reader (I'm thinking reader doesn't have a good past with angry men) and reader backs away from them in fear Jordan notices and tries to comfort them but reader flinched when Jordan touches them. Reader then asks them to leave so they do but Jordan spends like a week trying to make the situation better.

(I would also like to put reader isn't scared of Jordan more so the action of the blatant Intimidation tactic they tried to use against reader. Reader is angry that jordan would try to scare them even if it wasn't on purpose it still hurt)

Jordan sorta just spends a week following reader around Like a lost puppy trying to treat reader like a absolute queen even if reader won't really acknowledge them until Jordan has an breakdown while drunk coming to readers dorm begging for forgiveness.

Again if its obvious I don't know how to make requests I'm sorry this has just been on my mind for so long.

A/N: this request is absolutely perfect, and exactly to my tastes. thank you for sending it, doll!

WORD COUNT: 4k+ under cut | hurt/comfort and angst/fluff

It’s hard sometimes, knowing when to push and when to just let Jordan be. Not at all a skill you learned over night. You’d gotten good at the push and pull of bringing them out of their shell back when the two of you had just been friends. Better at it than anyone else, at least. It was a slow process, but every second was worth it.

Now on the good days you don’t have to push at all. A hand on their arm. A coaxing smile or two. Any act of connection, no matter how small, enough to make them tell you what’s on their mind. Even if they scowl the entire time they let it out. It’s the letting it out at all that counts. Progress!

Today you miscalculated. It’s been a bad week. Jordan hadn’t dropped in the rankings, but their points took a small dip. They hadn’t been very active on their socials, busy doing work as Brink’s TA. But the point gap between where Jordan sits at #2 in the rankings, and where Andre sits at #3 is still a wide open chasm. 

It’d take something truly disastrous to knock Jordan from the spot they’ve held for three years now. But the rankings are more important than anything to Jordan. No matter how gently you try to bring logic into the situation, Jordan gets irritated quickly, accusing you of not taking it seriously. You often wonder how that could be, considering you’re in the top eight yourself, but you bite your tongue and don’t bring it up.

The group had tried to go out for lunch. It was okay at first, everyone making an effort to ignore the storm cloud Jordan cast over the table as they picked at their food. Then Andre had made some type of stupid joke. Not even about the rankings, but enough to make Jordan snap at him. The situation escalated so quickly that Cate had threatened to take off her glove and make everyone shut up. You paid your portion of the bill and dragged Jordan out before anyone could start up again. 

And now you’re here, somehow also on the shit list for not being supportive enough. As if being supportive isn't everything you do. Day in and day out.

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side. You don’t honestly think it was an innocent comment, do you?” Jordan snaps, standing up from your couch to pace the length of your dorm room. 

“You know how Andre is. He gets sarcastic when he’s hungover, and he was packing a double whammy. He did coke and got drunk last night. He was just a little off. He wasn’t making a real dig at you.” You defend your friend, knowing Jordan will regret what she said at lunch once she’s calmed down. 

“Oh, so we’re all just supposed to tiptoe around his highness? If he was gonna be a dick during the entire thing he should have just skipped coming out with us.” Jordan’s eyes narrow in on your expression, the sudden pursing to your lips and looking away. “What?” She snaps.

You take a deep breath at the tone, “Well, Jordie, if you want me to be honest Andre wasn’t the only one who wasn’t on their best behavior today.” 

A beat of silence.

You look up and there goes Jordan rolling her shoulders back, eyebrows practically in her hairline and you sigh. You definitely should have brought up her attitude later. 

“You really are taking his side!” She scoffs in disbelief. 

“Nope. No, I am not, there are no sides. We’re all friends. Friends fight. I’m just trying to remind you that you actually are friends. You can’t just…” You trail off, uncertain. 

“I can’t just what?” She throws up her hands, volume raising. 

“You can’t act like this every time the rankings do something that isn’t spectacular for you. I know they mean a lot to you but you can’t take the numbers out on the people who care about you.”

“You just don’t get it-”

“But I do get it! We talk about it all the time. Your feelings are completely valid, the way you react to them isn’t. You’ve been giving Andre looks that could kill all week and he didn’t even do anything. If he was a little snappy at lunch, maybe he’s upset that his friend has been treating him like shit over something he barely cares about.” 

“Well if I’m so-” Jordan shifts, pitch of his voice deepening, on the verge of yelling, “-fucking awful why don’t you go run to Andre and cry about it together?” 

He only takes two steps towards the couch before you use your powers. It’s instinct, the way the forcefield bubbles up around you. 

Whatever Jordan was going to say next shrivels up and dies on his tongue. The only sounds in the room are the quiet hum your powers make when you use them, and the scared, panicked gasp you make from inside the forcefield you put up to protect yourself from him.

There’s a second where the two of you just stare at each other. Both in shock. 

“Baby-” Jordan tries taking another step forward, a small, barely there shuffle of his foot. His face falls when the forcefield gets a little louder, glows a little brighter. 

Jordan looks close to tears. It’s that expression that pulls you out of the animal state of fear you’d fallen into. You look away from them. Take a few heaving breaths. Do your best to not mix up faces of the past with your present and future.

Your forcefield flickers out slowly. A concentrated effort. 

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to- I would never ever-'' Jordan shifts again. She rushes too fast into your space to kneel on the ground in front of you, her hands reaching for yours, desperate and clumsy.

When you flinch away, moving so you’re perched on the armrest of the couch, still trying to calm yourself down, she’s left with her hands grasping at air. “Baby, look at me. Please? Look at me, I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry that I… I’m sorry. I would never hurt you. I fucking swear I wasn’t-”

“I know, Jordan.” You shake your head, trying to stay calm. “Could you please….leave? I… I can’t calm down right now. I’m trying. I know you didn’t mean to… to scare me, but I need you to go.” 

“Baby, wait, fuck. Fuck, wait! I’m sorry. Let’s just talk. I can’t leave you alone like this. I’m sorry.” She’s panicking now, throat feeling like it’s closing up. 

She doesn’t try to reach for you again, but her hands feel like they’re burning from the effort it takes to keep them away from you. It’s instinct to hold you, to make it better, to pull you closer. She’s always been the place you run to when you’re scared, the shield you step behind when you need to feel safe. She doesn’t know what to do when you don’t even want to be near her.

“We’ll talk later. I’ll… I’ll have Cate come over so I’m not alone. Just.. leave.” Your voice breaks on a sob, and you’re begging her to leave, and that’s what makes Jordan head to the door, legs shaking. She’s never made you cry before. 

She’s glued to her phone the rest of the day, waiting for you to call. You don’t. 

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

You’ve been best friends since you were freshman. You haven’t gone longer than two days without talking in all that time since. No matter how busy you are. No matter how shitty either of you feels. Jordan doesn’t know what to do with the hours of the day that you usually fill. 

She breaks on the second day when you show up to class and move to sit by Luke on the other side of the room instead of with her. You don’t even look at her as you walk by. 

Class doesn’t start for another five minutes. The teacher isn’t even here yet, and she’s always late. Jordan moves to get up, already feeling like she’s choking on all the words she needs to say to you to fix this, but is stopped by a firm grip around her wrist. She’s about to snap when she realizes it’s Cate, taking up your usual spot in the seat that isn’t up for grabs because it’s Your Seat. 

“Don’t make the situation worse. She just wants to go to class. Don’t hound her, Jordan.”

“Hound her?” Jordan’s voice raises, incredulous. “She’s my girlfriend. I need to talk to her.” 

“You need to apologize.” Cate bites. “Dick.” 

“That’s what I was trying to do before you stopped me.” Jordan speaks through gritted teeth.

“How about you try apologizing after she’s done all her classes? That way, when you inevitably upset her, she doesn’t hole herself up in her room all day crying. And feel bad about missing class on top of it. You know… the way she spent all of yesterday?” 

“She cried all day?” Jordan’s shoulders sag, voice getting smaller. 

Cate softens, patting Jordan’s hand.  “It’s not just about you, and you know that. Triggers like this really fuck with people. And she’s also pissed that she’s triggered in the first place. Let her cool off.”

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

He makes it a few hours before he’s trailing after you. 

He can tell by the tension in the line of your spine that you know he’s there. But you don’t outright tell him to get lost, so Jordan can’t stop himself from following you around. Even if you don’t want him there. 

He sits across from you as you study in the library. Makes puppy dog eyes at you the entire time. He can’t be bothered to unpack his bag. It’d be useless to pretend he’ll do anything besides watching you.  

Two hours in, he gets up and leaves, hating the way your shoulders relax as he turns to go. 

He comes back twenty minutes later with your favorite foods and drink from the best local coffee shop. You don’t reach for any of it. He’s always loved how stubborn you are, how you stick to your ideas. Your principles. How steadfastly you make up your mind. Right now he’s just a little terrified of that same stubbornness. Remembers when you’d only been friends, that first year of peeling one another open, feeling each other out. 

(“I’ll never do it, Jordan.” You’d whispered vehemently, drunk and mad and beautiful. 

“Do what?” 

“Be with anyone who tries to fucking cow me into submission. It’s fucked. I won’t do it. I’ve had enough of it.” 

You’d passed the bottle you’d just had pressed to your lips and Jordan had tried not to think too hard about it, even when he tasted the remnants of your sticky, sweet lip gloss beneath the vodka.) 

He doesn’t get up to leave again until you do. 

Jordan walks you to your dorm, but trails a few steps behind you. He tried walking directly beside you at first, but your hands brushed together and the look you gave him was cold enough to freeze blood. 

So-

-behind it is. 

Jordan doesn’t get the chance to say goodnight before you slam the door in his face as loudly as possible.

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

Jordan doesn’t push her luck by trying to walk you to your classes the next morning. She does wake up extra early to buy you the biggest bouquet of your favorite flowers she could find. She leaves them outside your door and goes to class, hoping you’ll at least acknowledge her, the next time you see her.

During your first shared class of the day you walk in holding the bouquet of flowers. Jordan perks up in her seat, holding her breath. You do finally look at her. You make direct eye contact as you throw the flowers into the trash can at the teacher’s desk.

Jordan does not break her pen in half when Andre whispers “yikes” under his breath.

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

Two more days and Jordan feels like he’s going insane. He knows you feel worse. One glance at the carefully nonchalant expression you’ve worn all week tells him that. Putting on a mask is nothing for you. That look is the first thing you learned how to do in the top ten. 

You’d never hidden the way you felt around him before. Not like this. His skin keeps buzzing with the urge to corner you. Jordan needs the two of you to talk about what happened. But he’s already walking the world’s thinnest line. 

And he knows he can’t force you, if you’re not ready. 

Another thing he knows: when you’re this upset you don’t clean. Simultaneously, when your room gets messy your depression gets worse. He skips one of your mutual classes of the day and lets himself into your dorm with the key you gave him during first year. 

Jordan looks around, wincing at the chaos. You never let it get this bad. Not even during your most soul crushing finals. He starts by throwing away the trash. The tissues you wiped your tears with. The takeout containers. Pages of your notebooks you ripped out, carelessly thrown around the room. You take awful notes in class when you’re distracted. He hates that he’s distracting you.

He wipes down every surface with your favorite scented cleaner. Dusts your books. Sweeps and mops. Changes your sheets and grabs the brightest, happiest color comforter you have stashed in your closet to put on the bed. As he adjusts the pillows he thinks about how often you spend the night at each other’s dorms. Jordan wonders if you’ve been struggling to sleep like he has. 

He hesitates, but goes to his room down the hall to grab his cologne. He spritzes it lightly over the bed and hopes you still find the way he smells comforting. 

Next is your laundry. He starts up a few loads, irons and puts away the clothes that were sitting in a wrinkled heap on your couch. You’ve always hated doing your laundry. 

He’s heading back to your room, a full laundry basket of clean clothes under each arm when you run into each other.

“Are those my clothes?” You ask, forgetting that you aren’t exactly speaking to him in your moment of confusion. 

“Yeah… I’m… I was cleaning my room. Doing some stuff. Figured I’d do a few of your loads too, while I’m already at it.” He shoots for casualness, knows he fails miserably.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You say, words stiff and uncomfortable. 

“I know I just…” Jordan shrugs, relieved to be standing within a few feet of you after days of silence, and feeling pathetic over how happy something so small makes him. “Why don’t you go get something to eat with Cate while I finish up here?” 

“Finish up what?” You ask.

“I still gotta put these away.” 

You sigh, wanting the conversation to end, “You don’t have to put my clothes away, Jordan. Or wash them. I’m quite capable of doing it myself.”

Jordan takes a step back when you make a reach for one of the baskets under his arms. “I know that! Just let me do it. Doing your laundry always pisses you off. I’ve got it.” 

A battle of wills ignited. You, staring him down. Jordan, trying not to squirm. He wants to try apologizing again but doesn’t know if he’ll only make it worse.

“Please, baby? Go somewhere nice with Cate. My treat.” He puts down a laundry basket (behind him, so you can’t take it) to grab his phone from his pocket, and does something you can’t see. 

When you hear the particular chime your banking app makes when you get a Zelle deposit you roll your eyes. You don’t bother checking your phone and seeing how much he sent. You know it’s too much. But if you say anything he’ll just say you and Cate have expensive tastes (which…true.)

“Maybe you can catch a movie too? I still gotta finish up with your bathroom.” 

“Jordan.” 

“Just,” Jordan shifts, putting down the other laundry basket and slowly reaching out to grab your hand with hers. She could almost cry when you let her touch you. “I know you’re fucking pissed at me. And I know you’re still too upset to talk about it. But…. fuck, please just let me take care of you. Please. I have to do something. I can’t just sit around, after I made you feel like this. It’s driving me nuts. I’m supposed to-” 

You stop her, putting a hand on her cheek and sighing, “Okay, Jordan. I’ll go hang out with Cate while you finish.” 

“Don’t ‘hang out’, go get dinner. You haven’t eaten all day.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you.” She says, sullen and staring up at you, playing with your fingers while you’re still letting her touch you, the first time in days. 

“I’ll head to Cate’s.” 

“Nah, head to Luke’s. They’re studying together right now.” Jordan takes a risk, stepping into your space slowly, giving you the time to move away. She leans in and kisses your cheek, gentle. When you don’t move away she can’t help herself, kisses the edge of your lips too. 

You don’t kiss her back, but you give her hand a squeeze as you pull away. You stop halfway down the hall before you turn back to look at Jordan. “Call Cate and tell her she better not be fucking Luke by the time I get to his dorm.” 

Jordan laughs. Your face is a little more relaxed as you turn away this time.

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

On Friday the group goes out to the club. They chose one of your favorite haunts, hoping it would entice you enough to join. You still declined the invitation. Everyone knew you would. They still wanted to try. 

You claimed you had a lot of work to catch up on. 

“She hates me. She fucking hates me.” Jordan groans into his hands, already three drinks and two shots in. 

“Well, let’s not panic.” Luke says. 

“Or be dramatic.” Andre snorts, taking a shot of his own. “You two are obsessed with each other. Relax.” 

“Relax?!” Jordan tenses, “My girl won’t fucking talk to me. How am I supposed to relax?” 

“She talked to you yesterday.” Andre drawls. 

“That wasn’t anything. We usually-”

“-Spend every free second of the day together? We know.” Luke teases. When Jordan doesn’t even smile he winces and slides him another shot. 

“She’s not even that mad. She’s more upset than anything.” Cate says, cuddling into Luke’s side. 

Jordan’s eyes follow the movement and he swallows at the distinct lack of your own weight leaning into him. You always get touchy when you’re tipsy. Climbing on top of him, clinging to him like glue. It’s his favorite part of nights out together. That and the playful booing you guys get from the group. 

Andre cuts back in, “I’m serious, dude. Relax! You guys have been together for how long now-”

“Three years.”

“-yeah, exactly. Since the fucking building of the pyramids. You two will be fine. She knows you didn’t mean anything by it. One fight won’t kill you.” 

“This wasn’t a fight, though. I fucked up! You didn’t see the look on her face. When she used her powers… I mean, fuck! You know? She was scared of me.”

“You know that’s not true, Jordan.” Luke protests. 

Jordan runs his hands through his hair, ruining the carefully slicked back style.

“Let’s just get you another drink. Come on, dude.” Andre wraps an arm around Jordan, hauling him to his feet and pulling him towards the bar. 

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

You get woken up by the sound of knocking on your door. Loud knocking. You keep your eyes closed, hoping whoever it is will go away. You don’t even want to be awake. Let alone socializing. 

The knocking gets louder. Exhausted, you drag yourself out of bed. You glance at your phone on the bedside table as you get up. It’s three in the morning. Now you’re exhausted and pissed. 

You stomp over to the door, wrenching it open, prepared to cuss someone out. You deflate when you see who it is. “Oh, hey.”

Jordan is leaning heavily on the door frame, staring at you with watery, red eyes. She looks like the walking dead. “Baby. Fuck, did I wake you up? I thought you’d still be awake. You said you were pulling an all-nighter.”

“I was tired. Just wanted to sleep.” You shrug. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Still at the club, took an uber back. Too fucked up for anything else.” She mutters.

“That’s good, Jordan.” You say. 

“You haven’t called me Jordan since freshman year. What happened to Jordie?” She sighs. 

Your face softens. “Baby…”

“No, wait, just let me…” Jordan leans her forehead against the door-frame, closing her eyes tight. “I’m sorry. I fucked up big time. I’m sorry that when I get pissed I take it out on everyone around me. I’m sorry that I don’t fucking listen when you’re just trying to make me feel better. I’m sorry I yelled… I’m sorry I shift-”

“Whoa, hey.” You cut her off, shocked. “You shifting isn’t the problem, Jordan. Fuck, come inside, honey.” You say, taking her hand and pulling her inside. 

You sit the two of you on the couch, clicking on the light so you can see each other. You move so you’re facing each other, pulling her hands into your lap. “First off let’s set one thing straight. You shifting is never the problem, okay?” 

“You got so fucking scared.” Jordan looks away, hair falling into her face.

“Not of you.. Just the fucking… optics of it! I don’t ever want you to be something you’re not. And you’ve got the incredible gift of being able to be whatever you feel like being any time you want to.” You reach out and touch her cheek, guiding her to look at you, “I don’t want you to not do that. I wouldn’t ever want you not to do that, okay?”

“Okay.” She says. There’s a moment of silence, then Jordan shifts. He looks for any sign of fear or hesitation, holding his breath. When he doesn’t see any he relaxes. “But I scared you so bad you used your powers.” 

“Yeah, that did happen.” You nod, caressing his cheek with your thumb, “Maybe it’s just a little scary when someone bigger and stronger than me starts yelling like that. Also, invulnerable. Let’s not forget that. Food for thought.” 

He closes his eyes, “I’m an idiot.” 

“For yelling at me? Yeah, just a little. Don’t yell at me like that no matter what form you’re in. That's always scary. Couples talk. They don’t yell. Most of the time. We can’t be the couple that does that.”

“I’ll never yell like that again. Either form. I promise.” Jordan says, “Can I hold you? It’s been a fucking week. I’m losing my mind.” 

You laugh, climbing into his lap and Jordan sighs, wrapping his arms around you as tightly as he can. He tucks your head into his neck. “I missed you like fucking crazy.” 

“Missed you too.” You sigh, “Stay the night?” 

“You’re not leaving my sight for the next two months.” He laughs, pulling you closer.

“Only two months? That’s fucked up, I thought you missed me.” You tease. 

“Shut up.” He scoffs, kissing the side of your head. 

You snuggle closer, letting the tension of the week drift away.

“You yell at me like that again and your only hope is being invulnerable, actually. I’ll put you through a wall.” You kiss his shoulder cheerfully. 

“I’d do it before you got the chance.”

You burst into laughter and he pulls your head away from his shoulder so he can see you the way you’re supposed to look around him. Happy. Content. He can’t stop himself from kissing you. You can’t stop yourself from kissing back. 

[dirtybitfic]

Lets get horny

chris x y/n

Contains- talking about sexual topics, smutt, kinks, dom-chris, bondage, blindfolds, choking, slapping, rough, orgasm control, dirty talk, degradation, breeding kink, daddy kink.

y/n pov-

The guys decided to make a r-rated video and see how it goes and naturally they asked me to join them they said it was a "comfort" thing having me there when they talk about such topics.

I obviously said yes so right now we're parked in a spot and getting the camera ready.

i'm sitting in the back with nicks as he's going through the list of questions and topics well be talking about.

i've never been one to share my personal life on social media so i'm a bit stand offish with the video i'm about to be in but id do anything for them so here I am.

okay cameras set but y/n scoot closer to the middle so the camera can see you. matt says and I scoot closer touching legs with nick . I feel bad im so much in his space but it is what it is.

okay everyone ready nick asks and we all say yes.

Okay hey guys today were doing a rated r video since you all seemed to really want one nick says and we all nod along.

as you can see we have y/n here with us matt says looking back at me and I give an awkward smile and nod .

okay nick what's the first topic chris asks as he smiles a devious look on his face as he rubs his hands together.

okay umm first kiss stories well start if off a little chill he says

ill go first . okay I think I was like 15 and I was hanging out at the. park with some friends and I kissed a girl that was there and yeah thats it matt says as he smiles and looks at chris to go next

okay It was like 8th grade and I kissed a girl at our dance win the hallway and yeah that was my first kiss he says and then looks back at us .

I look at nick brows raised

I role my eyes as he smiles

okay fine ill go . I was a freshman in highschool and I went on a movie date with a kid who was literally 5'2 I shiver from the memory but yeah he kissed me

I look at nick waiting for him to answer

umm I think I was 17 and I went on my first date with a guy and he kissed me when he dropped me back off at home and yep thats it ... okay next topic .Ummm loosing our virginity

oh god I sigh as I lean my head back in embarrassment

ill go first I guess . It was senior year for me . it was very awkward chris says

I lost mine junior year also very awkward

I lost mine senior year

I internally scream as I know I have to answer now

I lost mine sophomore year

damn youngest out of all of us chris says smiling back at me and I cut my eyes and mouth "turn around" making him put his hands up in surrender and turn back around chuckling.

okay now well get into the juicy stuff , most embarrassing thing thats happened during sex he says with a laugh .

well there was one time a girl was riding me and I leaned forward at the same time as her and we but heads really hard and she started crying he says laughing

ooh awkward I say laughing a bit too.

there was one time a girl asked me to choke her and I gripped to tight and she choked cause I was pressing on her wind pipe

come on chris everyone knows you squeeze the sides not the middle I say rolling my eyes and smiling

okay ms choking expert he says looking back at me narrowing his eyes.

I shrug my shoulders

since you have so much to say lets hear yours he says tilting his head.

okay fine... there was one time a guy tried to talk dirty to me and I laughed right in his face

poor guy matt says and we all laugh

okay there was one time as guy hadn't uhh cleaned up the area well and I literally left cause I just couldn't do it nick says shaking his head.

I laugh damn nick

yeah yeah anyways next one this ones mostly for y/n cause its how many times has someone made you cum during sex and obviously its easier for guys then girls

I sigh as my face Gets red .

I look down at my hands as I mumble zero

sorry what I didnt hear you

I said zero

wait what ... never matt asks shocked

nope never I say as I get embarrassed

damn thats embarrassing for the guys you've been with chris says laughing .

okay now lets ask how many times have you two made someone cum

matt and Chris look at each other smiling

4 times I think matt answers shrugging

wait all in the same day I ask shocked .

yeah why he asks looking back at me smiling

oh nothing just wish it was that easy for me I say as I look out the window .

he nods his head in understanding as we all look in chris's direction

oh uhm I think 6 he says smirking after .

damn okay then well now we have some questions y/n wanna find a good one he asks and I say sure as I take the phone scrolling through trying to find a good one.

okay this one is bold but what's your kinks I read off as I look up .

I have a couple but ill say two ... chocking and... bondage but not like ropes just like belts and shit matt says turning a little red as he sighs and looks at chris .

ummm ill say a couple of mine , slapping, chocking uhhh breeding and daddy kink he answers confidently before looking back at us .

I try and hide the blush that creeps up o my face. I have a little crush on chris so hearing these things about him have me flustered and a little turned on.

nick you go first I say as I think through all my crazy ass kinks trying to think of the ones that won't be to crazy to admit.

okay uuh chocking, slapping and like dom and sub type thing he answers then looks at me .

hold up let me look through my list real quick .I say as I open my notes app

damn you got a whole list Chris asks a little shocked

yeah why is that a bad thing I ask a little nervous

no just didnt know people keep lists

well ... shit I don't know if I wanna out myself like this I say as I read through my list realizing most of them are a bit out there compared to theirs

nick looks over my shoulder whispering a damn making me smack him

girl you freaky the last one is crazyyy nick says as he chuckles.

now we have too know just read the chill ones matt says as he looks back at me

okay ummm... humiliation, impact play which is like slapping and whips and stuff , umm fuck thats the most chill one

they cant be that crazy chris says with raised brows as he looks back at me

oh don't be too sure about that nicks says and I smack his arm again.

okay fine ill say three more , choking , dom and sub and uhh cnc

wait what's cnc

umm consensual non consensual

hold up matt says as he looks up the definition

oh wow he says as he reads it and hands it to chris too read

oh ... so its like a submission type of thing

yeah I guess so idk I think its more liking the idea of playing out being forced even though its fully consensual

hmm okay I understand it better after you explained it like that

okayyy next one I say getting embarrassed . I look through the questions finding one I know will be juicy .

okay biggest sexual fantasy you have I read off as I look up waiting for one of them to answer

how about you go first this time matt says smiling back at me cocking his head to the side

nah last tike I checked this is you guys channel not mine y'all go first I sass back . I need to get a feel for how crazy there's are so I can narrow mine down to the best one to say out loud.

okay fine whatever i'll go nick says as he talks about his fantasy of someone overstimulation him which is very tame compared to all of mine.

okay mine would be like role playing as like a teacher or student or something like that Matt says as he looks at Chris waiting for him to answer.

okay mine is to have complete control over a girl like tying her up and going for hours until she's crying and begging me to stop chris says as he smirks .

my legs clench and I can feel a pulse start in between my thighs .

I gulp as they all turn to me waiting for me to answer

i... ummm I have a fantasy of being fucked by a guy in a ghost face mask I say as I get red and embarrassed

oh come on you have to have one more freaky than that chris says as he looks at me with a smirk

I mean I do but some of them I don't want to share to 6 million people I bite back making it obvious I don't want to share the other ones.

I know one of hers nicks says smiling and I slap his chest harder than I meant too

shut the fuck uuuup nick I say in a sing song voice showing my annoyance.

nah nick tell us chris says as he narrows his eyes at me like hes challenging me.

I sigh as I cover my face and sink lower in the seat

she has one of being tied down and blindfolded and being over stimulated and also..

I cu them off by slapping my hand over his mouth as he still says it into my hand but its muffled .

okay okay well stop chris says as he laughs and turns back around .

I take my hand off oh nicks mouth and he smiles wide before opening his mouth and the words fall out

being forced to crawl to a guy by a collar and chain he rushes out before scooting further away from me knowing im gonna beat his ass

both matt and chris eyes pop out of their head as they turn to me mouth open and brows raised

I read it in a book okay now turn the fuck around I say as I grab nicks arm and mouth "im gonna kill you"

he just smiles and goes to do the outro to the video.

once we finish we headed back to their house since I was sleeping over .

nick tells me hes gonna be in his room editing for a bit and I know that means he needs space and quiet so I decide to chill on the couch.

as im zoned out on my phone a hand grabs my shoulder making me jump .

I look back and see chris

he smiles at me and I return it

come with me he says as he holds out his hand

what why I say as I get up and take his hand

you'll see he says with a expression I cant place .

I gulp as I follow him to down the stairs and into his room.

he shuts the door and locks it making me even more nervous

so he says as he tilts his head and smirks

soo i question back as I stumble back as he steps closer

what did you think about the video he says as his hand comes up and traces my jaw

I gulp which makes him smile harder

it was fun I guess I-i don't know I stumble back again as he gets even closer .

mmm I know you liked it ... you wanna know why he asks as I smirk grows onto his face and his eyes sparkle with lust.

wh-why I question as my heartbeat accelerates

I saw the way you got red and your thighs clenched when I talked about all the things ive done

mm I hum as he closes the space between us so his front is flush with mine

his hand slides into my hair at the back as he pulls it tight making me look up at him

do I turn you on y/n he asks as he leans in closer our faces so close if I moved forward just an inch our lips would touch.

my face heats up as my knees buckle

I- uh I don't ... I cant even finish my sentence before he interrupts me

I think I do ...I think you want me just as much as I want you he says as he presses a soft kiss right under my ear making me whimper

am I right he whispers into my ear making me gulp.

I- y-yes I whisper . His hands moves to my neck squeezing a bit causing me to whimper .

He smiles as he walks me back until my legs hit the bed and I flop down on the edge .

He stands above me as I look up at him through my lashes.

here's what's gonna happen your gonna be a good girl and strip for me ... and then im gonna tie you up and use you . does that sound good ma

I whimper as I nod my head and start slipping my sweat shirt over my head then my shorts and underwear .

good now lay down he orders and I scoot myself further onto the bed and lay down.

He grabs my wrist as he ties my right arm to another one connected to something behind his bed frame then he switches to the other one doing the same thing.

I tug a bit too see how much movement I have which is little to none.

He moves to my legs and ties them so im spread out for him .

I whine from the way my limbs are tightening from the stretch which only makes him smile and chuckle.

fuck you look so hot tied up for me he groans as his hands roam my naked body until his hands move to my tits and he pinches and pulls my hard nipples making me gasp and arch off the bed. He continues groaning and adding a couple light slaps to my tits as he starts sucking on my neck leaving marks as he goes along.

Im a whimpering mess for him and ive never felt so alive. I never thought that video would lead to this but ive always wanted a man to do this too me and the man being chris makes me ten times wetter.

chris p-please I whine out in a begging tone wanting him to touch me where I need him most . I know I sound pathetic judging by the way he smirks into my neck .

what do you want baby he asks as he looks down at me .

a-anything just please I whimper as I look into his eyes.

he smiles before he moves to be in-between my thighs

fuck so wet for me he groans as he runs his fingers through my wetness making me gasp and buck into him .

his mouth all the sudden latched around my clit and he licks and sucks at the perfect pace that has me whining . He slips one finger into me and pumps it in and out making my legs tense and shake.

F-fuck chris I whine as I try and close my legs but remember they are tied and I physically cant close them.

he adds another finger and starts sucking on my clit sending my body into overdrive with how much pleasure im in.

f-fuck fuck oh-my I cry out as I shaking and gasping for air . Im so close and he can obviously tell by the way my body is trembling .

Come on slut cum all over my face he says before going right back to sucking and licking.

I scream his name as I reach my orgasm and my body goes tense in the restraints army legs shake .

thats it such a good girl he praises as I come down from the high . His fingers are still pumping in and out .

Im trying to catch my breathe as he comes back up and hovers over me placing kisses and bites on my neck and chest . He curls his fingers to perfectly hit the spot that drives me crazy.

C-chris wait I he cuts me off

You're gonna take it. I know you can he says in a deep gravely voice that makes me even more wet.

im whimpering and breathing heavy as I feel pressure build and squelching sounds can be heard signaling i'm going to squirt.

f-fuck oh-my god chris I cry out as I feel my juices spray out of me all over the bed, his hand and my legs.

he pulls out his fingers and grabs my throat as he brings me into a deep needy kiss.

I knew you'd look pretty when you cum and before I even have the chance to comprehend what he just said my legs are untied and i'm flipped over onto my knees and back arched. My arms are uncomfortably crossed over each other pulled tightly by the restraints.

I hear clothes rustling and it only takes a second before the bed behind me dips and I feel his body right behind me.

His hand comes down on my ass making me gasp .

you like that don't you he says in a dark tone with a bit of amusement mixed in.

he slaps harder

I said don't you he waits for me to answer

y-yes I l-like it in stutter out

good girl using your words he whispers in my ear before I feel him rub his tip along my folds making me whimper .

My breathe is taken away as he slides into me so deep that all I can do is cry out .

He stays still for a second stoking my back sweetly before his hand grabs my hair tightly and he starts slamming into me relentlessly.

C-CHRIS OH MY

I scream out as he somehow thrusts more rough than before.

I’m moaning and shaking as he continues slamming into me with such force my wrist burn from the restrains and how they continue tightening with each movement.

Just a good girl taking my dick so deep

He says to me as he lets go of my head and it drops on-top of my arms

Fuck fuck IM GONNA CUM I cry out as my legs start to shake and my arms tense

Not until you beg me for it

He says as he grabs my hips and angles my back so he hits even deeper making me to struggle to get any words out.

p- fuck please can I cum please I whine out holding my orgasm back painfully.

mmm no I think you can do better than that he says as he continues his rough deep thrusts

my legs are shaking and im gasping trying do get the words out

PLEASE FUCK PLEASE DADDY CAN I CUM PLEASE I scream out praying to god he'll finally let me.

fuck yeah you can cum he groans out and I immediately break as I cum harder than I ever have before . I scream out as i'm coming down and legs continue shaking .

such a good girl for me he groans as he slows his pace down giving me a moment to rest.

He pulls out and flips me onto my back as he stares down at me .

god you're beautiful he says as he slides back in .

I blush as I continue looking into his eyes.

he comes down to kiss me and he starts pounding into me again . I try my best to continue the kiss but fail when he lefts my legs onto his shoulders and hits my spot repeatedly .

f-fuck oh my god I moan as his hand comes down to my lower stomach where he's bulging inside me .

yeah you feel how deep I am he groans as he smirks down at my face morphed into full pleasure.

mhm fu-fuck im gonna I cry out but cit myself off as my juices squirt out all over him and the bed below.

fu-fuck he groans in pleasure as he watches me squirm and whimper.

my legs shake on his shoulders as I start to become very overstimulated.

c-chris I c-cant I whine as I try and move my arms to push him away but fail.

come on baby you can give me one more I know you can he says in a deep sweet tone as he strokes my hair.

mmm o-okay I whimper out as he does my legs and lowers his body flush with mine and his arms wrap around and under me lifting my lower half up just a little .

he starts pounding into me rough again and his thrusts get sloppier telling me hes close too.

fuck your gonna be a good girl and cum with me he groans into my ear and I whimper and shake my head in response .

my legs start trembling around his waist and my whole body starts twitching the closer I get to my final orgasm .

All that can be heard is skin slapping and my heavy breathing mixed with his deep groans.

he groans loudly into my ear bringing me even closer to my orgasm.

fuck come on ma cum for me he groans and I do just that .

he thrusts a couple more times before he fills me up and his body drops onto mine as we breathe heavy .

Jesus I say as im still catching my breathe and he comes up and invites my arms and I sigh in relief and I stretch them .

he goes to the bathroom to grab a towel and then cleans me off .

that was... the best sex ive ever had he says smiling down at me

yeah same I say as I laugh a little .

can I tell you something he asks as he looks at me with a slightly worried expression.

yeah of course I say as I sit up and give him my full attention.

ive wanted to that for so long like ... ive liked you for a while I just was to scared to tell you he says as his face gets a bit red from embarrassment .

chris... i've liked you for a while too I just didn't want to scare you away I say as my face gets red and I cant help but smile.

he brings me into a tight hug making me laugh and he laughs too .

you free Saturday he ask and I look at him

yes why

cause we're going on a date he says with a big smile on his face.

we lay down and get comfortable and drift off to sleep.

[cher-rei]

afterglow- pt.1 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x femreader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

[wc: 2.6k] [part 2] [part 3 ] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8]

genre(s): friends?? to lovers, work romance, fluff

notes: I've had this idea on my mind for months but I had no idea how to execute it at all. also instead of using the y/n insert, I gave the character a name even though it is read from your pov. It just made it easier to write lmao

"ms carter?"

your heart dropped at the sound of your name being called by an unfamiliar voice, which was something you were going to have to get used to. nonetheless, you turned around to see an older man approaching you with a warm smile and something in his hand.

when he got close enough he put out his hand and you politely shook it as a greeting, still not sure who you were talking to. before you could speak up however, you were interrupted by something being put in your hand.

"this is your staff id," the older man said and you took a closer look at the lanyard in your hand. the picture you had taken less than a few weeks ago was set neatly inside with your name, and position.

carter, jaime

[public relations manager- social media and marketing department]

public relations manager. those three words were enough to make you feel light headed.

you liked to think that your employment on liverpool fc's marketing team was nothing but pure luck. from the moment you handed in your resume for your university final year internship out of pure whim, then to you getting accepted for whatever reason until you got the email no less than a month after graduation asking you to come in for an interview.

all that lead up to the moment you were currently in. standing in the middle of the empty anfield stadium that you had visited for nearly every home game since you were a child. it was nothing but pure luck.

you were broken out of your daze by the older man chuckling about something, which showed that you hadn't heard a single word he said during the past five minutes. you mustered up a smile regardless to play it off and proceeded to follow him for what you thought was a building tour.

"I just realised that I never properly introduced myself," he laughed dryly and gestured for you to step into the tunnel before him. "I'm billy hogan- chief executive officer and I'm ever so sorry for being in a rush right now but I'd like you to be at the training center within the next 30 minutes."

your eyes widened in shock, your feet absentmindedly picking up its pace while hogan continued to speed through the building tour, leaving no room for questions but you decided to make a mental note to ask someone else when you got the chance.

you were escorted to the black s.u.v along with hogan immediately, running through the hundreds of questions you had at the moment. you know you only had room for one though before he was on another phone call.

"uhm sir-"

"yes ms carter?" the older man addressed without trailing his gaze from his cellphone screen or the pile of documents in front of him.

oh gosh.

you managed to clear your throat. "I'm not too sure why I'll be needed at the training center. shouldn't I be in the office or..."

when he heard you start to trail off, hogan shut the folder in his lap and turned to look at you with an expression you couldn't quite read. there was a moment of awkward silence that passed between the two of you in the backseat of the s.u.v, the driver not paying any mind to the conversation.

"our last marketing manager had to be fired because we found out that he was leaking information out to reporters and news broadcasters along with four other employees."

oh shit.

you shuffled in your seat as you tried to think of a response to the news but whenever you parted your lips to say something hogan would raise his finger as a sign that he wasn't done talking. so you swallowed the bitter taste in your mouth along with any comments and listened intently.

did it sound like he was targeting you and bordelined threatening you? yes, yes it did. but you were sure he meant well and was only trying to bring his point across.

"we're low on staff and that's why you were handed two very crucial roles and are expected to make up for the losses. you'll be working alongside the team as you read in the contract," he began once again with a knowing look which made your stomach drop.

because you didn't read the contract. not fully at least. your older sister was the one who urged you to sign it the second it was sent to your house. hell, it could've stated that you were required to donate an organ and you wouldn't have known all because your were too excited and didn't spare anything a second glance.

"but why didn't you just promote people that were already in the department instead of giving me the position straight away?"

hogan let out a dry chuckle and tended to his phone once again, not looking back at you. "because nobody else wanted the position. it's dangerous up there ms carter. so you may feel important right now, but if you can't handle the workload and expectations it's going to get messy."

well this is news to me.

to sum up hogan's lecture and recital of the contract off by heart, you were in fact set up to be working alongside the team as a higher ranking media representative because there needed to be more field work done. no pun intended.

but the fact that nobody else was up for the position didn't sit right with you.

"just make sure they look good for the camera and keep everyone entertained. you're an influencer yourself, so I'm entrusting you to keep everything in order. you were hired because you are young and are in the game already. so keep yourself level-headed and do your best."

no pressure I guess??

deciding to wear sneakers instead of heels today was by the far the best decision you've made in weeks. the weather in liverpool during september was nothing short of horrid. when you stepped out of the car your face was immediately hit with the harsh and crisp air that reminded you why you spent majority of your time indoors.

"welcome to our axa training center," hogan gestured to the building in front of you, it's ceiling to floor windows having you gawking in awe. "this is where you'll be spending a good amount of your time, but it's not as bad as it seems I promise."

what's so bad about watching a bunch of professional football players train half naked?

unlike your last building tour, hogan actually took his time showing you around this time. from the lobby, breakroom, staff rooms, gym and finally to the field where the team was out practicing-- or at least that's what you thought was happening judging by all the screaming.

the second you stepped foot out onto the field, klopp turned to look at you with a welcoming smile.

did he just sense my presence??

you felt frozen in your spot, the world had practically stopped spinning the second he called you and hogan over. when you made it over he halted his conversation with the person beside him to shake your hand.

"it's lovely to finally meet you ms carter," the team's manager politely greeted and it took every single nerve in your body for you to not do something stupid.

you bashfully laughed and brushed his comment off, "if anything, the pleasure is mine. I am extremely honoured to be working in this position."

after a few moments of getting to know each other and klopp giving you a bit of an idea of what he expected media-wise, you realised that you had work cut out for you, judging by klopp saying, "think of this as your second family. the team needs something different, and you ms carter, are exactly the home improvement that we need."

you felt like the weight of the world had just been put on your shoulders again, and his tone of utter sincerity wasn't making it any less pressurising. of course you wanted to do well and give your all into this role but it was going to take a bit of time getting used to.

I should have read that damn contract.

"would you like to meet the team?" klopp asked with a smile and lightly patted your shoulder.

the gesture alone was enough to render you speechless, and you weren't quite sure if you heard him correctly. "would I like to do what?"

"boys!"

your eyes widened in shock as he called the team over. you didn't know what to do or say, your fight or flight mode had nearly been activated and you swore you were about to sprint out of the training center, all the way back home.

you anxiously fiddled with your fingers, not knowing what to do with your hands as you watched the group of soccer players head your way with little to no care to which klopp gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "don't worry, they won't bite."

you mustered up an awkward laugh, muttering under your breath as you mentally prepared yourself for the moment. you obviously hadn't met any of them before, the closest you had gotten was going to the stadium to watch their matches.

the closest you had gotten to any interaction with any professional soccer player in general however, would be at the beginning of the year when jude bellingham followed you back on Instagram. which was still the best day of your life up to date.

you were awestruck, words unable to form as they all huddled up in front of you. you could see the sweat beading on their foreheads which caused a shiver to travel down your spine.

"boys this is ms jaime carter." klopp gestured to you and you managed a small wave, trying to ignore the sound of your heart beating in your ears. "she'll be working with us from now on, as manager of the pr manager for both the marketing and social media departments."

you were greeted with a choir of 'hello's' and listened to klopp give everyone the run-down and a little enlightenment into the situation regarding the last bundle of staff that had to be cut off so abruptly.

"pfft, snitches."

you head turned to look in the direction of the comment, that was immediately reprimanded.

"curtis," klopp started and the soccer player pursed his lips apologetically.

"sorry boss."

"aren't you a little too young to be the manager of two departments?"

your eyebrows raised at the question from harvey. klopp and hogan had to attend to a last minute call from the clubs directors so you were left with the team to "get to know each other", but most of them got back to training which left you with harvey, curtis and trent.

you shifted your weight to your right leg, your head tilting to the side challengingly as you eyed the boy. "well you're younger than i am and playing professional football. what does me being a pr manager make any difference?"

trent and curtis couldn't help but snicker at your counter, jokingly mocking their younger teammate until he got visibly irritated.

"you can't deny us the right to laugh at you," trent said jokingly and kicked the ball to harvey, who passed it to cutis again.

their banter went on for a few minutes as you watched the ball pass between the three of them until harvey spoke up again.

"you're straight out of university though so--"

his sentence was cut off by someone yelling, "ball!", to which you all instinctively looked up only to realise a little to late that it was headed in your direction.

shit.

you backed away just in time to get the ball before it hit the ground. the second it came into contact with your foot, you sent it back virgil's way to which he gave you a smile.

a familiar feeling stired up in your stomach after, but you pushed it aside and for back to your train of thought. "and you're straight out of high-school. so i rest my case."

a moment of silence took over, trent and curtis both shifting their gazes from you and all the way over to virgil who was over at the goal post.

harvey was taking the moment to recollect your high school comment. it was because he was short wasn't it? that's all people had to throw at him these days.

it was trent's turn to speak up, his eyebrows raised while curtis muttered to himself about the distance or something like that. "have you played before?"

before you could answer, your name was being called by hogan since it was time to get back to the office building. you huffed out a breath and sent the three boys a smile.

"looks like today's 'q and a' was cut short." you took a few steps back, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your puffer jacket. "you might as well stock them up for next time. I'll be more than happy to feed your curious minds."

[kel-lance]

JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 4

(quick chapter//moving plot)

Warnings:

- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.

Premise:

Reader lives in a city where the two biggest gangs keep things line until the third gang showed up. That had nothing to do with you though, until dumb luck just happened to favor you one day. Basically You’re picked up and used by every dangerous criminal within the clans due to some alliances they had to create due to some members messing up the previous alliances. ((Almost everyone’s gonna have a turn 🤗)) ( i have 12 chapters planned out right now meaning after i write those ill still be writing more.)

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AN: Sorry for the long update i'm trying not to get evicted bc i was fired a while ago bc of a protest (surprise surprise big companies don't like or care about palestine or other places like it.) but i had to give away my cats and am still struggling i have my socials in my masterpost if you could help if not its okay ily, I hope you like it

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After the three took a break from you, Sukuna pushed Yuuji towards you. Todo just follows along, trying to make sure Sukuna doesn't kill Yuuji as they just don't know what Sukuna could be thinking at times like these.

You lay a top the bed, sheets strayed, your hair messy, your whole body sweaty and broken, you entirely were weak, and Yuuji couldn't stop saying sorry to your fucked out face. "Let's see what you got."

You didn't feel anything for a few minutes until Todo broke the silence. "You've got to do something, brother, you know I'll back you up."

Yuuji just continued to stand there. If he were to fight Sukuna with Todo on his back, he wouldn't know who else would fight with them. Todo would lose everything he already has and would blindly die for him, which he would never ask for. But if he were to go through with fucking you again for Sukuna's enjoyment, Todo would also have to add himself into the situation. This double edged sword was going to stab him either way, but which would hurt you less?

"Don't take too long..." The leader made motion that he was going to start walking towards you two. "NO." Yuuji covered you on the bed, staring off back at his older brother. Todo comes behind Yuuji, putting a hand on his shoulder before giving him a look, and sighing understandingly as he stripped off his shirt.

Todo and Yuuji's was almost awfully awkward at first. They just felt bad, not being able to tell if you were even conscious anymore and continuing to do to you what they were doing.

Really they weren’t allowed to stop until Sukuna was satisfied. Until Yuuji was sobbing, begging him to give you and everyone else a rest. He was asking what would it take to stop this?

The older brother taunts, “Maybe we’ll keep her til she births one of our children, or multiple if she can create sufficient and strong offspring. I don’t know, Yuuji, should I start a farm because of you? I heard the Zenin clan is somewhat similar…”

“Please, please, Sukuna what do you want?” He was breathless. “This has to stop, you can’t-.”

He stops his younger brother, “I have, I did, and I can continue this for as long as you both live. I think that may be the conclusion I’ll come to, don’t you think it would be fun to be an uncle?” His big hands caress your stomach, feigning tenderness to his soon to be child or “sibling’s” child.

- You go back to your room where you stay in for a week.

- A random night, someone breaks in and tries to kidnap you and you didn’t know who it was, obviously you weren’t going with them without an explanation.

-That caused you to fight back as your dealing with everything so far, you were getting pissed being treated like a doll. The person who broke in gets captured, just before he says “Yuuji’s waiting outside, trust me.”

- Sukuna's family come in trying to make sense of the situation and the others had captured the mystery guy

- That's not before he throws you to two female ninjas. They secure you quickly and run back to their master Toji.

- their clan/gang is super powerful, the twins you can guess are Maki and Mai, and Sukuna (the new head of one of the three big families that control the large part of the area, the head of the Kamo gang) had just kidnapped their son, even if he did happen to barge in.

- Megumi’s been friends w Yuuji since they were kids but they never shared that.

- they met bc they were fighting bc yuuji was taught to fight ppl who give them looks (Sukuna wanted him to protect the family name no matter what, and megumi just had that face… and when they realized that they were part of the other side they had to come to extremes before realizing they were different from their families.

- they knocked each other out senseless and somehow one was still alive, megumi sat with yuuji while he regained consciousness and they started to talk more. Battered and bloodied but Yuuji finding the humor in it while Megumi thinks enough to like his character and realizes he’s just a big strong idiot.

- Maki and Mai are close, as sisters should be and they both have their loves (nobara and momo) and we all have to go team up with the gojo clan in order to make sure this trade off is safe and megumi and yuuji aren’t dead

- because now yuuji is with you at the toji clan too, it was supposed to be just you getting captured and then yuuji leaves to live his own life but now he’s in front of toji saying it was his fault that megumi’s now with his brother (sukuna)

- Yuuji explains that he and his son were friends since childhood, he says everything and everyone's on edge bc toji does what he wants, whenever, whatever, really anything for money.

- He says he knows he doesn’t have money, but the only thing he does have was something they both risked their lives for, so toji gets curious and wants to try you out.

- Toji fucks you senseless, making you think the train ran on you were more merciful. He was trying every hole, every position, just dressing you up and doing whatever he could with you, you were actually at your limit with him, enough to bring you back enough to start fighting again. You were getting sick of it, actually you think you were getting sick.

His inconsideration was on par with Sukuna's, though Sukuna cared more about his new objects while Toji wants them to know their place and to leave when he tells them to. He had to know why they would do all that for you//how did you survive so long in that clan he just has to see how durable you are and he’s LOVING IT.

- He asks you what you’ve been through and you don’t respond so he hits you again and again but you don’t cry so he does it AGAIN and you flinch enough to stop him, and start taking off his pants. His only response was "e’s like "Oh so they already trained you."

- You suck his dick and he pulls you up to kiss him, by your neck and places you on his dick and fucks you in the air, using gravity to its full advantage, that was the start of it all before the days of relentless attention and use, you were more sore than any of them have put you in. The hitting, cuts, just the amount of violence he's integrated into your sessions felt like training again, but worse.

- He’s wondering if he could keep you as his slut but remembered that it would be stupid to start a war when his kid couldn’t keep it in his pants. He blames Megumi for having a cold heart compared to his father's icy one.

- Toji makes up his mind to help and plans to betray/kill the sukuna clan when they get megumi back bc he doesn’t care but doesn’t say that.

-He plans a meeting with the other clan the top three have been fighting over the position of this location for years and now and ofc they’re all on edge.

- Gojo comes to the meeting with his clan, they’re not worried bc they know some of their clan can befriend some of the others involved. No ones been dead so they have some sort of unspoken treaty to leave each other alone but they never asked much from the other ever.

- Gojo settles down with his group, smug and tired bc everyone needs them to fix other peoples' problems for them. The community relied on the Gojo Clan to protect them when they also work with the Kamo and Zenin gangs, the people outside are just as gullible. He sits down and asks what could big ol Toji need from him,

- “It’s Megumi”

- Gojo drops his smile. Their other unspoken alliance was when Megumi was beaten up at a really young age bc of his status and itadori happened to be there too (same elementary school). Gojo beats the fuck out of the people who targeted the kids/second to heir the clans, and left, but Megumi finds him and asks why would he help them.

- Gojo said he can’t have his competition get angry, his people are at stake. (referencing to the shifting power in-between the gangs that they didn't know about yet, and that his person was leaving his clan to join the other, he didn't know why he was doing anything anymore at that point but he couldn't let more powerless powerful children get hated on.) Megumi says thank you and takes Itadori back near his gang before disappearing back to his clan.

- Gojo actually has been in contact with his friend who's joined the other clan. That's how he knows what's usually going on with them to keep them rangled up and behaving as much as they could to not cause trouble or cause attention to groups like theirs.

Gojo and Geto were very young when they met, and since their lives were everything but normal, they were given the chance to take in more young bodies to add to their clan. They raised them together, but geto left.

Gojo begged for days for him to reconsider, they day he left he was inconsolable, especially since he took the twins too. Geto couldn't separate the girls, but he could separate himself from Gojo, in his head it's to help Gojo in the future because of the power he'll have.

Gojo didn't care about that, he didn't want help he just wanted Geto. That was all he needed, he had decided. He could have ruled the world and done it confidently if he had Geto by his side, but things don't go through when you're young, and now you're about to catch as many years he hadn't been able to get out.

- He's not nice at all when you're under his care. With Geto leaving at a critical age in learning, his feelings had been all over the place. He was completely disordered, his goals and morals and everything went awry, with the years he couldn't get himself out of the timestamp of when he knew happiness.

- So he asks you about Geto, his best friend, the only one that could make him feel real again. The one person who didn't do things for him because of his name and status, and yet left with the excuse of protecting Gojo from future evil. It was enough to drive the strongest insane.

- He asks you everything by torture, not too physical that anyone can see. WHen trading you back you should at least look and act like you're in the same condition, if not better than what you were when they traded you off. Just anything that Toji didn't already give you, Gojo would have mindless enjoyment from digging his fingers into the fatter parts of your belly, legs, and forearms.

- He’s only doing this to see Geto again. He just wants to pass the time until he can finally feel good again. He's strong, he's smart, he's beautiful, when would life be good to him instead of him making everyone else's lives better just by being there. It made him coky, it made him secretly weak willed to his own desires, so his processing was different than most.

- He asks u what he looked like and everything about him while fucking you. it was the closest he’s got rn. "I don't know's" made him reel back more, his strikes becoming almost boneshaking and shattering. He was making Toji seem gentle. Now that something he cares about is just a memory away, he just couldn't stop himself.

-You were so close to him, even if you never spoke to him, even if you never saw him in the maybe month you were staying at the Pink haired clan. But his aura seemed to have darkened when you mentioned twins. There were just so many either of you could have known but it just seemed to rile him up more. Seriously you would need a doctor and healing time after this. You couldn't let that happen again.

-There was nothing else to take from it, it was a hell you would only wish for the person already committing it. It made you miss the tenderness of Sukuna and the warmth of Toji, it didn't matter what they did or how you got there, anything sounded better than Gojo being without his favorite things. And you were barely part of it.

[rad-batson]

THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS

(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)

Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.

As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.

I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.

There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.

SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS

Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)

If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)

Writing Cass

(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)

Has some sass, has a lot actually

Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip

Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE

Mostly just relies on body language though

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)

also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho

Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)

Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)

Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)

Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge— Cass: Metal books.

Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing

I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE

Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act

Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*

She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out

She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*

Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis

Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing

Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s

Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists

Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp

Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.

Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)

Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)

Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)

(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)

That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part

OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE

[bubbles-lounge]

!Their Younger Sibling!

Summary: You had successfully escaped you're older brothers and you one and only friend Azul(Or how reader calls him Zuzu). You had were texting Yuu about meeting him with his friends, the ones you met before heading for you're brothers, and Azul. What will their reactions be?

A/N: Part 1 There's mention of a bag, you pick how the bag looks and what type of bag it is. Debating on making a series of the octavillene trio having reader keep running off and befriending the main cast. Remember to look after yourself and get rest!! Enjoy.

You put you're phone in you're bag as you looked around you making sure you're brothers nor Azul were near. You weren't worried about the other students too much since you have similar speed and strength to you're brothers, although abit weaker than them. Once you were sure they weren't near you stood up and ran for the botanical gardens, keeping an eye out for any of the first years you saw with Yuu or Yuu himself.

You eventually reached the botanical gardens, looking around for Yuu and the rest of his friends. Spotting them not to far you walk up to them.

"Hey, Yuu!"

Yuu turned around to see you smiling at him as he waved at you.

"(Name), You got here fast!"

You chuckled abit as the other first years saw and recognised you from earlier that day. You remembered each of their names roughly, the one you think was juice?? No, Deuce!

"Hey There, Your (Name), the leech twins younger sibling, right? We met you earlier on today!" Deuce smiled at you and extended a hand for a handshake.

"Yes, that would be me! You're Deuce if I'm correct." You shook his hand as he nods confirming you was right. It was bit awkward for you, not because of the people but because of the socializing. The only friend you'd ever had was Zuzu, so it felt awkward but they all seemed pretty laidback.

They all introduced themselves, Sebek seems to be loud constantly, though you were used to Floyds random yelling so it wasn't too bad. They are a lively bunch, it was quite enjoyable, your awkwardness and anxiety went quickly as you hangout with them.

"Hey (Name)."

You look over at Jack as he approaches you, you've noticed he is quite sensible probably the most sensible here.

"Yea? What's wrong?" You stare at him confused as he scratches the back of his neck and looks away.

"Don't take this badly towards you're brothers but, you're not really like them, you know? I mean it in the sense you not as terrifying as you're brothers make themselves nor do you try and make you're self unsettling like them."

Jack was now looking at me in an almost confused manner as you laugh abit at the statement Jack made. You weren't offended to be honest, you just found it funny how right he was. Epel had joined the conversation and agreed with Jack, you replied to them.

"Well, I try not to appear unsettling or anything of the sort. I'm here for abit and my brothers are protective of me. I've never actually had a friend that wasn't Azul. Its only been us four basically my entire life..."

You look at Jack and Epel sheepishly, it felt weird to tell others about you're brothers way of looking after you. It almost felt wrong to be talking to these guys, but you pushed those feelings away and looked at them. The others had at some point had joined the conversation as they looked at you with pity.

"You've never had anybody out of those three??! That must be tough...We're your friends now! Therefore you now have people out of those three!" Deuce wrapped an arm around you're shoulders as the others seemed to agree.

"Yeah, you don't seem so bad, what harm could it do?" Yuu smiled at you confidently.

You smiled at them all, this was nice. Having a group of friends like this was nice...Your phone buzzed ruining the moment of happiness you felt, you only had 5 contacts outside of the people currently around you, 2 of those contacts were your parents but they had already told you they wouldn't text you until you did a week at NRC, the other 3 were you're brothers and Zuzu. You got caught, shit.

The others look at your panicked face as you run over to your bag, they question what's wrong.

"My brothers and Azul know I left the monstro lounge. They said I wasn't to leave due to the people at this school not being trustworthy enough for me to even talk to."

The others looked at you with concern, until Ace spoke up.

"They do that?! They stop you from interacting with people like at all?!"

I nod my head as I search my bag for my phone, you grab it quickly and look at their texts.

After you had read their texts and you felt sick to you're stomach you shoved you're phone into you're bag and threw the bag onto you're shoulder as Sebek yelled.

"THATS UTERLLY WRONG. YOU'RE STRENGTH OUT DOES THE NORMAL HUMANS STREGTH. THERES NO REASON FOR THEM TO DO THAT!!"

You don't stay around much longer as you bolt for monstro lounge. You slam open the door but make sure not to scare any customers, you dint need those three anymore angry than they already are.

You think back to what Sebek said about being inhumanly strong like you brothers, it does make sense why they d-, you're thoughts were stopped by the tap on you shoulder looking at the person to see you brothers. Floyd grabs you and drags you into the V.I.P room and puts you on the couch as he starts going on about how you weren't meant to leave this place and you could have gotten hurt. Jade interrupted Floyd and looked at you.

"Elver. Did you speak to anyone?"

Jades voice was stern, you knew damn well that you couldn't avoid answer him. Not with Floyd and Azul right by.

"Yes..."

You watched there faces morph into disbelief. Now Azul and Floyd were yelling about how you're meant to stay by their side and not run off to talk with others. That's all they could yell about, not only did you leave monstro lounge like a normal human but you talked with others. Jade just let them go off at you, you don't think you've see him so angry. You knew this was the punishment, you knew they would tighten security on you.

You decide that, they aren't gonna stop you. You were 16 for fucks sake! a year younger than them. You not gonna sit idle by their side and alone, not when you now have friends. Of course you weren't gonna tell them that you just looked at the floor and listened to their yelling.

This will be an interesting time at NRC...

[island-in-the-shadows]

My Hannibal and Will Adopted Oliver AU HCs

Because the Thomas Harris books have a different timeline than NBC Hannibal I'm gonna make the executive decision to split the baby. TWOTL happens +- in 1990.

Because it happens in 1990 it allows Hannibal and Will more anonymity because it precedes the online boom and fucking no one had a smart phone. And since they have more anonymity they are more fluid in where they go.

They're in Northern England in 1992 when they see these awful people who are also shit to their kids. One of those kids is a young, quiet boy who (like Matilda) gets books out of the library that are more advance than his age level. Hannibal in particular is parentally enamoured with the little boy and, in a way, reminds him of both Will and Mischa (though in different ways).

As happens to people who are unspeakably rude, the horrible parents...go missing. And Hannibal and Will adopt the little 5yo boy named Oliver. They do not involve him in their diet at this time. They also move to a different country.

Because god help us the shit environment for LGBTQIA+ people in the 90s was worse, only Will is listed as Oliver's parent when they enroll him in a school in New Zealand. They both think it's more believable because Will and Oliver both have pretty blue eyes and brown hair and have a similar demeanour.

Hannibal absolutely dotes on Oliver. Because he wants to give him a choice when he's older, he doesn't feed Oliver long pig in his childhood. He does, however, still cook the most insane Michelin star versions of childhood classics (because at first its all Oliver will eat) and eventually gets him to eat better.

Will teaches Oliver to fish. Like Will, Oliver is particularly good at knowing how to lure. He does tend to be impatient however.

Hannibal teaches Oliver how to play the piano, appreciate classical music & opera, and how to speak Italian (I think Hannibal can still be scarred about things re: his homeland so Oliver would know some phrases. However, Hannibal is half Italian and def has better memories of Italy, so...).

They keep him in school (in various countries) until he's 14 because by that time they know other kids find him off putting and that Oliver doesn't really like being there. It makes more sense for Hannibal to homeschool him.

Especially because around his teens, Oliver learns what his adopted fathers are doing. He doesn't actively participate but he knows. At around 16/17 he does help them lure sometimes and they teach him how to deal with the meat.

It's also clear to them from when Oliver is a child but more so as a teen that he's kind of like Will. Will can assume other POVs and Oliver always knows what other people want. It can make him a bit of a terror sometimes.

Oliver decides he wants to go to Oxford to get a degree. He has a bit of a guise so that his background is not questioned. They have false papers for him, dress him differently, have him on scholarship--the whole thing. The only thing that doesn't change is his name.

Oliver actually is socially awkward and immediately into Felix at first sight.

He lies about his parents because 1- he knows what Felix wants, and 2- what is he supposed to say? My parents are two queer cannibalistic serial killers? Lol, no.

He does love both his fathers as much as they love him. They keep in contact but, for obvious reasons, the names that pop up in his phone are decoys and never say anything like dad.

Oliver is impressed with Saltburn when he sees it even though, given Hannibal is a wealthy blue blood himself, he has seen his fair share of beautiful and truly expensive homes.

Oliver doesn't say anything but thinks the cooks at Saltburn are shit. He sends Hannibal a message about it though admits the food at Oxford was far worse. He is absolutely spoiled with this.

More on this AU as it develops...

[rebuke-me]

actually sorry i'm making this a separate post too so i can put it in the tag and itll show up. if u read my reblog on my previous post its literally just the same material sorry.

long post of my analysis of gender, tropes, and the musical be more chill ahead

so. i'm going to start with the wider overarching ideas of teen romcoms. im mostly thinking the mean girls/princess diaries/that sort of movie. early 2000s kind of cheesy kind of problematic at points but still having that nostalgia.

in most of these sort of movies, theres a very structured plot. the lead girl is an outcast, a weirdo. she's either childish or unattractive or a nerd or a loner. she frequently has a best friend (or a few) who are somehow more of insert "undesirable" trait here. usually, this best friend is also more eccentric, more outwardly strange, rejects the idea of the popularity.

the lead girl also has a crush on a guy who's unattainable, he's interesting to her, she's never talked to him a day in her life but she swoons over him. she's in love with the idea of A Boy. (and frequently, the guy has caught the attention of a popular girl who functions as her rival, whos prettier, and better liked, and has more of the traits the main girl desires.) she sees her male crush with the popular girl and loses hope.

the lead girl gets a chance to change her life- maybe she's noticed by a popular girl- who offers her a chance to be something else for seemingly arbitrary reasons. through this, she gets a makeover, a way to be as pretty as the girl shes a rival of. she also lies or embellishes herself to be attractive to people around her, especially the guy she likes.

the girl climbs the social ladder, she gains the attention of the popular boys and the romance she's been craving. she's desirable now. (and sometimes shes desirable in ways that aren't good for her, sometimes shes used as a way to show off or make people jealous, not for her, but for what she's become). she goes to a party that goes horribly wrong. her quirky weird best friend blows up at her.

the main girl also sees the intricacies of people she's never thought to have flaws, to have issues. even the girl who she's competing over a guy with. she realizes that idealizing people who are just like her, deep down, doesn't work. she hits rock bottom, loses everything, and then has to forcefully gain it back, make things right, and then she gets the guy at the end.

every single one of those plot points happens in be more chill, but everything is genderflipped. the main girl becomes jeremy, an insecure guy, making the narrative more about toxic masculinity than toxic femininity. the insults are about jeremy's looks, yes, but more prominently about his sexuality- something that men are traditionally a lot more insecure about than women, in most cases. he's a hopeless romantic. he's insecure. he's awkward and anxious. he's all the traits of a traditional teen movie romcom protagonist, but male.

the quirky girl best friend becomes michael, whos the outgoing, exuberant, eccentric friend. he's at a different place in his life than jeremy, whos fixated on popularity. he gets upset when his friend changes and leaves him behind.

the Male Love Interest becomes christine- unattainable but excitable. she's more than just a hunk for the main lead to be attracted to, but she serves the purpose of getting jeremy out of his comfort zone.

the popular girls become two separate archetypes of maleness, with jake and rich. jake takes on the romantic lead- popular, cool, athletic, effortlessly attractive, and the rival of the lead for the romantic attraction of the love interest. he's still operating under toxic masculinity. he lashes out with anger, he's not kind at times, he's seen as unintelligent.

rich takes on the almost gretchen-weiners-esque "popular girl" role. he's still popular and cool, but he's almost trying too hard. he's just as angry and aggressive, he's trying hard to be something he's not. he's also the one whos an analog for queerness, which is an interesting flip- think the "its like you're in love with me or something" bit from mean girls. he's the one who offers jeremy a chance for something different, a do-over.

the squip, while not a direct analog for anything in traditional romcom movies (since its kind of a nebulous. scifi concept) stands in for the literal themes of these sorts of stories. its toxic masculinity, its popularity, its the voice in your head telling you to tear others down, to pry out information, to push your way to the top.

the popular girls are particularly interesting, because as individuals, they kind of mess around with everything a bit. while everything else has been pretty cut and dry, they're all a mix of a bunch of things. they serve the roles of the popular guys in these sorts of scenarios while being very stereotypically feminine.

chloe is the mean girl, the leader of the pack. in teen movies, she'd be the star quarterback, the ex of the romantic rival, the one who is the peak of toxic masculinity- which the musical flips to make about toxic femininity with her (and brooke.)

the next paragraph is going to talk about Do You Wanna Hang and touch on SA, if you don't want to read it, skip to the next italicized section.

chloe also functions as something all too common in teen movies. she pushes jeremy into a sexual encounter he doesn't want to be in. she's not even interesting in him, as a person, but him as an object, something usually reserved for women in fiction. she does it as a power play, a way to get back at other people. she attacks his looks, his attitude, and this is when the downsides of "being popular" start to reveal themselves. (side note, this is an INCREDIBLY problematic trope to me, especially in its original form, because it enhances the idea of "if youre attractive you want this" type deal. a what were you wearing sort of attitude towards sexual assault. instead of treating it like a tragedy, its almost a status symbol.) and because the main character is a male- its never addressed further. its brought up in a singular line between the popular "guy" stand-ins.

i am done talking about this topic you're safe now

brooke is also intriguing, because shes one of the only characters in this concept that doesn't seem to have a direct parallel. if i'd have to give her something, i'd probably mark her down as the male sidekick to the popular guy, the one who doesn't get anything other than being the best friend. but she does get something, by virtue of her being a girl now. she's a viable love interest, or at least a status symbol.

jenna falls into a similar category to me- a character who only serves to bolster the reputation of the main character. she takes on the role of information spreader, which is a traditionally feminine role.

i could also talk about how i think that its interesting that while most of the actions in be more chill that are given to people of opposite genders (e.g. romantic rival, call to popularity, quirky best friend, the Do You Wanna Hang problem) the MOTIVATIONS for the actions are still aligning with the gender of the characters. like, rather than the gender of the original trope. if that makes sense.

anyways i scrolled back and realized i had like 10 paragraphs im gonna stop now but. yeah. gender in bmc is fascinating to me

[a-random-weeb]

Hiii love ur account! Idk if I can request cause it says it’s closed, so sorry if I’m wrong!

Can I please request a yandere who looks very dominant; tall and buff with muscles. Literally everyone is scared of him because of how frightening he looks. Everyone other than Reader: Yandere is actually scared of reader and is very submissive around them. He actively seeks Reader’s approval and will do anything for her. Kind of like a guard dog? He’s really just a big puppy who craves Readers affection. Thank youuuu

Awww I love this idea!! Let's name him... Austyn, idk it just fits lol. I couldn't think of what age to make him, so I said screw it and put yall in high-school because that's the easiest

Also I know you requested this months ago, and everyone else requested their things months ago, guys I've been so tired recently, I'm so sorry I haven't been able to write what you've been wanting me to. I'm so sorry if you're still waiting on your request, and I'm hoping I'll get more chances to write soon. Thank you for your patience :)

Warnings: Yandere (obv), clingy and obsessive behavior, a little more than just mentions of murder, slight mentions of rape (not to reader or anything i just noticed it was brought up so I figured I'd put it in just incase), reader gets forcefully drugged, kidnapping

This fic is not meant to romanticize unhealthy and toxic relationships, it's hot af in fanfictions but is never ok irl

°•.♡▪︎*~°•.♡▪︎*~°•.♡▪︎*~°•.♡▪︎*~°•.♡▪︎*~°•.♡▪︎*~°•.♡▪︎*~

A huge man towers over you, his shadow engulfing your entire figure, his huge muscles and rough exterior making him appear as if he could kill. He stares down at your petite and fragile body in an intimidating manner as you jolt up in a sitting position. Clutching the desk beneath your upper body, you recognize him almost immediately.

"Where am I?! What do you want?!" You scream dramatically, almost tipping backwards in your chair.

"You fell asleep in class." His eyes narrow. "I had to poke you a bunch so you would wake up. The bell just rang, its lunch time." Your whole face burns a cherry color.

"Um- thanks..." Your eyes wander anywhere but his face. The corners of his mouth ever so slighty elevate as he leans on your desk.

"Would you like to eat lunch together?" He tilts his head slightly in an almost cute way. Your brows furrow in confusion, but nod regardless out of pure fear. He could probably kill you in one hit. No, simply him blowing on you would be enough to knock you 8 miles. You pack your school supplies and walk to your locker, Austyn almost breathing down your back as he watches you grab your stuff.

Entering the cafeteria, you both take a seat in one of the only spots left in the overcrowded area, its a bit shocking when kids start scooting away from you both, even the kids across from you want nothing to do with your new 'friend'. Or thats at least what you hope he wants with you...

Your prayers were answered, but in the worst way possible. It's almost physically painful watching Austyn attempt to make conversation with you. Stuttering over every second word, obviously embarrassed and anxious, fumbling with his hands. It was... cute. You'd never thought he would be like this while talking to him, you've seen him be rude and cold to everyone, maybe he's just shy and comes off as rude? Guess you'll find out. You, having not as many friends as you'd like to have, appreciate the attention from him regardless. But he desperately needed help with this whole social thing, so you give him a hand.

"If you're not busy, maybe you could help me with homework after we finish eating?" You smile, hoping he's not busy before you die of embarrassment. Thankfully, he nods, and the two of you finish your meal in silence.

You were hoping he'd be a little more outgoing and not as awkward in the library, but boy were you wrong. More stuttering, more avoidance of eye contact, more hand fidgeting. He wasnt even helping, just sitting there and watching you, almost too intently. You almost scream of joy when your best and only friend, Abby, joins you.

"Hi!" She beams excitedly, taking a seat next to you, "need help?"

"You're my savior!" You giggle, hugging her. Austyns aura immediately chances from a shy puppy to one that could kill. He glares daggers into Abby as she speaks a bit too friendly to you, gets a little too close to you, helps you instead of him. He knows he needs to up his game, but your stupid friend might ruin his chances.

Abby was your friend since elementary school, you've never been great at giving anyone a smile, but she always brings out your biggest one. She's helped you through so much, you owe her your life!

The rest of lunch Austyn stays silent and in the background, you assume he's shy... God, you hope that he was not hurt. You continued the rest of your classes like normal, overjoyed when the day comes to an end.

You and Abby walk home together, teasing and laughing with eachother. Austyn trails behind you both, not talking too much. Neither of you know where Austyn lives, and forget to ask. They drop you off at your house, and Abby lives just across the street so you guess Austyn walks her home. The long between your houses and the school is 30 minutes. You could take the bus, and you do in the mornings, but the walk is too beautiful to miss, so fun laughing with your best friend through the sunset in the city, too fun running through the long field of grass, racing down the streets, seeing who can reach your house the fastest, rubbing it in your face as you both either collapse on your porch or Abby goes home. Sometimes, you dance outside together, sharing secrets, giggling over whatever crush the other one has... Abbys friends with almost everyone, but the two of you are inseparable. Tonight though, you only talked with Abby, not wanting to make Austyn feel left out, and not wanting to seem awkward infront of your new friend. You run inside, jumping into your bed, thinking Austyn is just a little cute. Maybe a tiny crush? You don't think on it too much, as you pass out.

The next day, Austyn starts hanging out with you and Abby, which neither of you mind. He's a bit less shy and a bit more friendly. He's in your homeroom, science, and math class, so you sat next to him in all of those. You guys talked and exchanged answers from time to time, overall getting along very well. You guys hang out at lunch, and sure, you give a slight bit more attention to Abby, but thats it, and overall, the three of you get along like three peas in a pod. The next four days go similarly, your crush for him grows.

One lunch time the three of you meet up, eat, and head to the library. You weren't sure what was wrong, but Austyn didn't seem to be a huge fan of Abby, only hanging out and attempting to make conversation with you, almost cutting Abby out. You, of course, refuse to let that happen, and keep adding your friend the the conversation. You and Abby exchange a confused look, Austyn normally loves you and Abby.

After school the same day, you run over to Abbys locker, waiting for her to grab her stuff. You wait for 5 minutes... 10 minutes... 20 minutes... she doesn't show up. Thinking it's a bit strange, you still wait, assuming she was held back in class or something, as the teachers often like to praise her work or offer her opportunities for an upcoming math competition or something. She appears, after awhile, running towards you. The two of you begin to walk home together. When you ask her what she was doing, she awkwardly dodges the question. You leave her alone about it.

The next day when you arrive at school, Abby still didn't show up. How strange, you think to yourself. Abby hasn't missed a single day this year, not even when she was sick, you have no clue how she does it. Straight As, no days missed, friends with everyone she talks to, yet she's not here. You couldn't help but feel a pit in your stomach, not wanting to assume the worst. You would've thought she'd at least text you right? The more you thought about it the worse it got. What if she was raped by a creepy teacher?? What if she was kidnapped?! Maybe she got a deadly sickness and has three days to live! There's so many possibilities you weren't sure, what if-

"Hey!" Your new 'friend' from yesterday appears before you, looking like he's accomplished something great.

"Hi...?" You look up at him, calming yourself immediately. You knew you shouldn't overthink this, she probably just missed her bus or something. Austyn obviously picks up on your torn face as he asks,

"Hey, are you ok? You look offput..." he does his signature, puppy-like head tilt. you quickly nod your head, laughing to yourself silently of the stupidity of your overdramatic thoughts. You weren't normally so anxious, this over worried about your friend not being at school immediately, but for some reason, your gut was screaming at you that something bad happened. And then... The overwhelming feeling to run hits you. Looking at Austyns smile fills you with a strange sense of dread. White noise echos in your ears.

"Woah, woah, calm down!" He panics, "Hey what happened? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Hes acting way too friendly today... you shake your head.

"I-I don't know what's wrong with me today? I guess it's just a weird day....?" Austyn rushes to wipe some tears you didn't notice were were falling from your eyes.

"Hey, you don't have to talk about it...." he sighs "I don't know what happened, but stop worrying."

Abby was murdered.

You don't know how you know, last night was such a haze... what happened...? Pictures of her dead body flash in your mind, the killer standing there with a knife and sadistic smile. You swear it was a dream... you remember beginning your walk home, but can't remember anything passed the midway point, not even what you did last night, did you even eat dinner? You didn't wear pajamas last night, you assumed you were just tired when you woke up. But did you really see Abbys murder or is this just the most dramatic you've ever been on a Wensday morning?

You continued your day like normal, the sinking feeling never leaving you. Austyn was acting strange, outgoing and sweet to you. And yet his face was making you want to throw up for some reason... to go as far as to flee the country. Well, maybe not that far, but you certainly didn't want him near you for some reason.

The end of the days comes, and your dumbass told Austyn he could walk you home. It was probably fine, you'd go to sleep tonight and tomorrow everything would be normal, Abby would be at school and Austyn wouldn't be as creepy to you. You're sure of it.

You wait for him near the entrance of the school, and of course, when he comes out, he's almost stumbling over his own feet to run towards you.

"Hey!" He gives a huge innocent smile as he begins walking with you, clutching the arms of his backpack in a shy manner. You smile up at him, not sure if it's a real smile or not. No words are exchanged as you both watch little cracks of the sunset through all the large buildings of the city. It wasn't cold, but it definitely wasn't hot, the perfect night for a first kiss. Stars beginning to appear as you make your way out of downtown, you've only been walking for 15 minutes... almost the midway point... you have a much better view of the now gone sun, there's still a bit of red. There's no one around, it's a gorgeous night, you're walking home with a guy... everything should be perfect, it should be romantic. You recognize this, Deja vu, but different.... memories from what you think to be the dream, or a cruel reality you weren't sure yet start to appear. Abbys lifeless body in the long grass, the moonlight to the killers back, you know who it was, but you can't remember.... all these events took place just upahead and-

It wasn't a dream.

Blood stains lay in the grass and you point to Austyn, not in control of your body or the words that spill from your mouth, or the tears that spill from your mouth, or the puke that's about to spill from your mouth.

"You did this... didn't you...?"

Austyns eyes darken, "and you remember. I knew the sedatives wouldn't work as well as I wanted them to..." he sighs "I did this for you, don't you see?! I killed her for you. I've loved you for so long and you've never even looked at me. So I stalked you, learned about you, you're so cute yknow! You never laughed the same way around me as you did with Abby, ramble to me as you did with her.... So now our problem is gone, and we can be the cutest couple!" He spits delusionally. You back away from him, the moon to his back, the same spot as last night. He grabs your wrist harshly, overpowering you easily.

"You can't run darling, now let's go to my house!" He beams, "I'll even bring you home the head of someone you don't like!" You thrash around, screaming for help, but Austyn just giggles and hugs you to him, holding one hand around your arms and torso and the other over your mouth. "Shhhhh, it'll be ok!" He puts a chloroform filled cloth to your mouth, and everything goes dark.

Maybe I'll write a part 2, maybe I'll do headcannons, maybe I'll leave you guys to imagine the rest, we'll see :3

[polyamorousmood]

Hi! I'm rather new to poly and have found your blog to be a source of reassurance. I was wondering if I could ask for some advice-- no worries if you can't respond!

My partner and I opened our relationship about half a year ago. I don't really like my meta as a person; there isn't anything particularly wrong with her, our personalities are just too different and her energy stresses me out a little. Think grumpy cat and hyper puppy.

We share a friend group and this friend group does a lot of events together so we often share the same space. For context, she's known some of them for longer than I have, but I have become more enmeshed into the group since I joined. Hinge and I also live together (with two of said friends). Because of that, I always let her spend time with hinge whenever we have a gathering because I get to see hinge more often than her. In fact I almost actively avoid hinge and hang out with other people to give them space. Afterwards, I sleep on the couch so she can sleep in the (hinge and my) bed with hinge.

I feel like I'm doing my best to give her/them space but I can tell she isn't happy. The group went out to a restaurant for my birthday and when I walked into the lobby where she was waiting with some of the others, she started crying at the sight of me and had to excuse herself. I'm not sure what I did wrong. I had just had a date with hinge and we walked in together so maybe I forgot to stop holding hands with hinge (?) Maybe she saw my phone screen which was a picture of me and hinge (?) (A normal picture of us hugging not anything too intimate)

I feel awkward now and like I have to watch myself to make sure I don't "slip up" again. I don't think I should need to hold myself to such strict standards but perhaps I'm wrong. It feels like walking on eggshells around her and if I show hinge any affection then she'll be upset. The other day hinge sent a picture of us to the group chat and I think she's unfriended me on socials since then.

What should I do in a situation like this? Can I even do anything? Was my mistake really that bad?

😬😬😬

I'm just going to put the read more here

TL;DR: yeah, you should do something. I don't think its all on you for not adhering to 0 affection in front of the girlfriend ever though.

This brings up a lot of personal struggles for me. I am going to present as best I can a good faith reading of all parties here, but know that my bias favors you, dear asker.

For clarity, the asker will be called you, the partner will be called Hinge, and the meta of the asker will be called gf/Girlfriend.

I think Girlfriend is not actually 100% okay with polyamory, and is doing her best to smother those feelings because she's so fond of Hinge.

In fairness to gf, I am making a lot of assumptions (limitations of tumblr asks and limited information), its still fairly new, and its a really complicated place to be in for her. You're all friends so god only knows what would happen to the dynamic of the friend group if she couldn't make this work. If she breaks up, that makes things really awkward, if she enforces a stricter thing about keeping your lives separate, that makes things really awkward. Basically every move she makes here risks ramifications for her whole (or at least a lot of) her social life, not just her relationship with Hinge (and you).

Based on what you've said, I would be surprised if gf's done the work to confront the reality of what polyamory will look like for y'all and make peace with it. Or renegotiate that reality until its something she can make peace with. I say this because in most healthy dynamics I have seen, it should be expected for a partner to give you attention on your birthday. Girlfriend not being able to handle whatever it was that set her off, to me is proof she wasn't preparing. Now once she was at that junction, gf did the right thing by excusing herself, but I can only imagine how much that killed the vibe. On your birthday 🎂🫤.

So to your questions: "What should I do in a situation like this? Can I even do anything?" I do have some things you could do, but not a lot. The first of which is to ask her wtf that was about (but very gently) assuming its recent enough to do that. I would come at this from a place of confused concern a la "I just wanted to check in with you after the dinner. You seemed really upset and I wasn't sure why. I really wanted you to have a nice time for my birthday".

And then the paths diverge. Maybe she says "it was fun, sorry, it was just hard seeing you laughing with Hinge" but maybe she says "My Aunt just died and I was trying to keep it together and I couldn't". I'm operating off assumptions because I have to. But you don't have to. Confirm that shit one way or another. Then, you have three options

You can ignore it (not recommended).

You can go for a heart-to-heart.

You can ask Hinge to work with gf on this.

For both 2 and 3, you're going to have to have an idea of what's acceptable to you and what isn't. How much (more) are you willing to compromise and realistically able to do? If you're making Hinge the go-between (which might be the good move if you and gf don't really get along!) you will have to lay it all out. Make a whole speech about why you're concerned, what a better for you set-up would look like, how you'd like Hinge to help facilitate that, and how long shit like this is something you're able to handle. Go into it as a problem solving endeavor seeking Hinge's input and support, with the understanding this is for gf's sake too. Talk about a how things would look in a few months. If you do ask Hinge to handle this, you two need to agree on what is reasonable, on what timeframe, and that Hinge will present it to gf as something they're concerned about too so as not to paint you as a snake in Hinge's and gf's garden

Because I only see a few things that can happen

Nothing changes. It goes on like this forever. Its always kinda weird, you probably start dreading inviting her to things for fear of a repeat of your birthday, but you all just kinda grin and bear it and its not ideal but its good enough.

You can separate more. Like, all three of you are never in the same room together. This will likely make things really weird with the friend group! Every group activity will require people to choose whether its you who gets the invite or gf. Friends also have to be on board with not talking about shit you did with Hinge. Hinge will probably have to kind of "live two separate lives." How does that work given that you live with Hinge? haha, good question! It will necessary limit how much time gf has with Hinge, how much time you have with Hinge, and how much free time outside of you two for the rest of his life Hinge has. All this is workable, but it will probably be difficult and kinda weird for a good while.

Girlfriend can pony up. She can go through the gut-wrenching process of desensitizing herself to seeing you two show affection and accept that you are always going to be there, too. I expect you and especially Hinge would do what you can to help her, and there will be benefits, too! but its still just going to be really hard on her for awhile. This can put Hinge in a pinch if your expectations and Girlfriend's aren't lining up, and since this is mostly on her, you don't have as much control.

Someone breaks up with someone. This doesn't need further explanation.

I will now show my ✨ biases✨. I don't know how long Hinge and Girlfriend have been together, but assuming its the full 6 months, and assuming the issue IS she's just not okay seeing you two like each other, ever... personally, that's "push comes to shove" time for me. Are you in or are you out? Is she actually okay with polyamory, or is she forcing herself into something that's making her miserable for love? Y'all's timeframe might look different, but if you don't address this soon, this sounds like shit that could force one of you to a point of ultimatums. Most people need good time to acclimate to polyamory! but if its six months and she is indeed crying about you two briefly holding hands... that's not acclimatization. And maybe you're Built Different💪, but I could not handle a those restrictions with those consequences long term. Personally, I'd sooner die than not be able to hold my partner's hand, so I think you're being very accommodating, and if gf can't handle human slip-ups, that's not on you.

[edenfenixblogs]

This is just terminology but regarding asking goyim to ID ourselves as such, may I ask if there's a specific reason you prefer that phrasing? Asking because I've previously heard that hearing someone self-describe as goyische can be a bit jarring due to Connotations from white supremacists "reclaiming" the term (scarequotes bc that's obviously not how reclamation works) so I'm wondering if you have an alternate perspective I should be taking into account or if it's just like, personal preference/not that deep.

Ah! @faggotry-enjoyer, My friend! I did not see this message from you until today! My deepest apologies!

I didn’t mean that every goy had to specifically call themselves goy. I’m just descended from Hungarian, Russian, French, and Mongolian Yiddish speakers and that’s more familiar a term to me than “gentiles.”

Personally, I’ve always found “gentiles” a little awkward as a term anyway. As I’ve stated repeatedly, goy is a fully neutral word with no positive or negative connotations. But the word “gentile” seems to have a weirdly positive connotation that I find off-putting. It seems far too close to the word “gentility” for me.

It feels like “gentile” is a person of “the gentility,” thus inherently socially, behaviorally, and aesthetically superior to non-gentiles (aka Jews). Perhaps this is just because of my relationship to Hebrew (and its use of root constructions that convey connotations in the base structure of the word) that this seems to be a term that is inherently critical of Jews in a pretty blatant way. But it always seems just…idk. Uncomfortable for me to use I guess. It feels like I’m putting myself down to elevate someone else and acknowledging their inherent superiority over me.

That said, I am in no way suggesting that this is how all Jews relate to this word. I have studied Hebrew since I was very young (I’m not a fluent speaker anymore, but I was once), and I’m a writer and love words and etymologies. It is extremely likely that I am thinking more about this than someone else would or does.

So, I say goy because it is the most neutral to me. It doesn’t convey that I’m better than a goy or that a goy is better than me.

When I said “goyim identify yourself as such,” I meant more generally, “if you’re not Jewish, please indicate that in your reblog or tags when reblogging from a Jewish person.”

And to anyone who is new to my blog, the reason I asked goyim to do this is because Jews feel very alone and hated right now and a very easy way to help us feel better is to just let us know that someone outside of our community sees and hears us. It so very often feels like we are shouting from inside a soundproof room and we can only hear and be heard by each other.

There are so very few Jews left in the world. It is simply impossible for us to survive if we advocate for ourselves alone. We need goyische voices alongside our own if we hope to be heard at all amongst those who outnumber us.

One thing about Jewish culture though, we all disagree a lot about a lot of things. Someone probably does find it offensive to self-label as a goy. Someone else probably finds it offensive to reject the idea of self-labeling as a goy.

However, by and large, I think most Jews won’t be concerned that you’re appropriating our language and culture if you are using our language to identify yourself as someone who supports our culture. Yiddish isn’t a religious language, but a cultural one. While Judaism is a closed-practice religion, Yiddish is the language of our culture in exile. It is the language we used while existing in a goyische world that was and remains hostile toward Jews.

I think, personally, that if you’re not using our language to demean us, it’s not off limits. Like, call yourself a goy! You are one! It’s not a bad thing! But, like, don’t call Jews you disagree with schmucks or something like that. And, obviously, if someone is antisemitic then I do not want them using Yiddish at all.

If someone wants to condemn our culture, then I loathe the idea of them picking out the parts they can use for their own purposes. If you reject an entire culture, you do not get access to the parts of that culture you like, imho.

So, I guess (in answer to your question) it is personal preference but is also that deep. Jewish culture is old, deep, and complex. I'd never speak for other Jews, and I'm sure plenty disagree with me on this. But I have personally never heard of a Jewish person offended that a goy calls themselves a goy. Personally, I find it endearing.