#i'm such a failure and it's so clear just looking at my sister be successful in everything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lythea-creation · 4 months

Text

Expectations - Shams x fem reader (Chapter 5)

Chapter 1

Previous Chapter

warnings: mentions of emotional abuse

word count: 842

-----------------

It had been over a week since I had started living with Shams and Omar.

I had not heard a word from my dad. Maybe he was too busy to show up or did not care enough to do so. After all I did not have my phone to get any messages or calls from him.

By now everyone at school knew that I was hanging out with Shams. To my surprise it did not bother them too much. After the initiate shock they just pretended that nothing had changed and treated me like usually.

“I know what I want to do now”, I declared to Shams and Omar while we were eating dinner together.

“About what?”, Omar wondered.

“Everything basically. But I need a phone for that. Can I borrow one of yours?”, I requested.

“Sure”, my girlfriend agreed immediately. “Just take it. You know the code.”

I thanked her and followed her offer right after finishing my food.

“What are you planning?”, Shams questioned.

“Posting a new video”, I enlightened them. “It's been a while after all.”

“You revealed that like it was a big deal”, Omar noted.

“It is. Just sit down and listen”, I instructed them.

I placed the phone in a way I was fully filmed.

Then I took a deep breath and tapped onto the live stream button and sat down on the couch in front of the camera.

“Hey everyone! Before you start wondering I'm not at home. And I know I haven't posted in a while. That is because my phone has been confiscated by my dad. You're probably asking yourself what all of this is about. Well … sit back and listen because I'm going to tell you my true story now. You heard me right. Everything I showed you before was pretty much a facade. I wanted to be famous and popular. I wanted everyone to believe that my life is perfect. That I'm perfect. But that's simply not true.”

I sent Shams a soft smile, which was encountered by an encouraging nod from her side.

“I tried to be perfect, pretty much my whole life. You all know my successful dad. I had to take after him. He expected that, too. So I tried my best. I studied for most of the hours of my day. Straight A's and nothing less, otherwise I was failing. I built up this social media life. Everyone wanted to be with or like me. It was addicting. The fear of failure and rejection even led me to hide one of my most important relationships.”

I sent Shams a questioning look. She understood and sat down next to me.

“Shams and I have always been close. For those of you who don't know her, she's Omar's sister. I hid her because I couldn't hurt my image, because people call her a weirdo. But I love that she's different. That she's herself in a world full of fake people and wannabes like me.

Isn't that what we all want? To be accepted as the person we truly are? So why are we always judging so quickly instead of really getting to know somebody first?

What I wanna say is … I'm sick of living up to everyones expectations and I'm refusing to continue playing this game. As long as I have Shams and Omar, people who love me, the real me, I'm gonna be alright. I don't have to care about everyone else. And you should be, too. Let's change the rules ourselves! We have the power to do so.

It's all so clear in front of me right now. You know … a few days ago I was sick of it all. The pretending, the endless struggle to be perfect. I understood what was important to me when my dad basically locked me up at home to improve my grades after I got a B. He made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Like my total worth was tied to my accomplishments, my status. But that's just not true.

It was time for me to take my life into my own hands. And honestly … my life may not be picture perfect right now. But it's never been better.

People call me an influencer and my new principal once asked what kind of influence we wanna have on people. I want to inspire you to enjoy your life instead of making it look like you're enjoying it online. If you can achieve that, put your phone aside and create your imperfect and yet perfect life off-screen, then you're so much more successful than anyone you paint to be perfect.

Well … that's all I wanted to say. I hope you're all doing good. I finally am. I'm not sure if I'll post anything else and when. Just know I'm still around. Bye!”

Omar stopped the live stream for me and put Shams' phone aside.

Never in my life have I ever felt this free.

--------------------

Next Chapter

Well ... why do i always have to write spontaneous speeches? However I hope you like the new chapter. Please tell me your opinion. And btw i truly mean every word of that speech. So that's kinda my message to you as well.

I haven't posted a new chapter for this for a long time. So I thought I keep you guys updated.

Tag List: @sunwoniie

#al rawabi school for girls #shams x reader #female reader #romance #lgbtqia #fem reader #social media

2 notes · View notes

apocalypticavolition · 1 year

Text

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 2: The Welcome

Spoiler alert: I forgot to discuss chapter icons last time. It's terrible, breaking such a successful streak. I have toh. If you don't know what that is, be aware, because I'm perfectly happy to spoil everything about this whole damn series if you're not careful. Look away if that bothers you.

Anyway, chapter icons. Last time was another wheel and serpent, which probably reflects both how Rand is being pulled by the Pattern to stay put despite his desires and how the Dark One's touch is beginning to corrupt it more blatantly with the proto-bubble. This time we get the Flame of Tar Valon, because the Amyrlin Seat is visiting.

“Ho, southlander! The Amyrlin’s here. Come for you and your friends, I suppose. Peace, what honor for you! She seldom leaves Tar Valon, and she’s never come to the Borderlands in my memory.”

A) This and several other bits of dialogue is a delightful way for the denizens of the fortress to be tormenting Rand about the trap that he's found himself caught in without realizing it (one of my favorite kinds of dialogue).

B) I can't help but feel that this is another bit of failure on the part of the Tower. An Amyrlin who tours the continent regularly and brings a retinue with her would be yet another way to be building positive relations with the populace, helping them and encouraging them not to see the Aes Sedai as wicked witches. Hopefully it's something they pick up on as the Fourth Age goes on.

The women barely glanced at him, and went right on clearing his clothes—and Mat’s and Perrin’s—out of the wardrobe and replacing them with new. Anything found in the pockets was put atop the chests, and the old clothes were bundled up carelessly, like rags.

I don't know if this is Moiraine's outright shittiest act as mentor, but damn if it's not up there. You know who else pulls this crap in this series? Tylin, because it's abusive as all hell. Moiraine had a fucking month to get the boys fancier clothes in less coercive ways and if she'd done it shortly after the Eye it wouldn't have even been a hard sell because Rand and Perrin would have been happy to wear comfy new clothes after the hell month they went through (Mat would have been an easy sell regardless once he saw something with lace; would have been harder to get him not to empty Moiraine's purse at that point).

It could be a scullion or the Lady Amalisa, Lord Agelmar’s sister herself—the baths were one place in Shienar where there was no rank—expecting him to scrub her back in return for the same favor, asking him why his face was so red, had he taken too much sun? They had soon learned to recognize his blushes for what they were, and not a woman in the keep but seemed fascinated by them.

We're supposed to laugh at the provincial bumpkin for not understanding how awesome it is that he's getting to bathe with regulation hotties, but really between this and the maids expecting him to change out of his underwear in front of him (and making a point to look) is just way too skeevy.

His boots, at least, were certainly still good, made by Alwyn al’Van, the cobbler back in Emond’s Field, and well broken in and comfortable. But if giving up his boots would make the shatayan leave him alone so he could go, he would give her the boots, and anything else she wanted. He had no time.

It is way too early in these books for me to feel this bad for Rand.

Light help me! Was it Amalisa had this made, or Moiraine? How many saw it? How many know what it is, what it means? Even one is too many. Burn me, she’s trying to get me killed. Bloody Moiraine won’t even talk to me, but now she’s given me bloody fine new clothes to die in!

It's absolutely incredible how badly Moiraine is handling this. Is she just conceptualizing this as being the same as how she had to wear novice robes as a girl? Did Elaida's personal tutoring before Moiraine's becoming an Aes Sedai get a nice cycle of abuse going for her to perpetuate?

Muttering under his breath, he dressed hurriedly. He would not put it past any of them to find some excuse to come bulling in anyway.

Just like Donald Trump.

He had seen women picking out embroidery when they had made a mistake or changed their mind on the pattern, and it did not look very hard.

Rand, you spent your entire childhood including your most significant growth spurts living in the backwoods of the ass end of nowhere with no one except your dad. I can understand embroidery not being your thing because it's not utilitarian, but you should damn well know that there's a difference between fixing your work before it's done and ripping out embroidery after the fact.

Thom Merrilin had taught him to play that flute, before the gleeman died. Rand could never touch it without remembering Thom, with his sharp blue eyes and his long white mustaches, shoving the bundled cloak into his hands and shouting for him to run. And then Thom had run himself, knives appearing magically in his hands as if he were performing, to face the Myrddraal that was coming to kill them.

Dammit Rand, Moiraine told you that the odds of Thom being dead were literally zero in infinity, stop thinking he's dead.

His unstrung bow stood propped in the corner with Mat’s and Perrin’s, the stave two hands taller than he was. He had made it himself since coming to Fal Dara, and besides him, only Lan and Perrin could draw it. Stuffing his blanketroll and his new cloak through the loops on his bundles, he slung the pair from his left shoulder, tossed his saddlebags atop the cords, and grabbed the bow. Leave the sword-arm free, he thought. Make them think I’m dangerous. Maybe somebody will.

The funny part is, Rand actually does look dangerous now. Lan told him that bullies would leave him alone. He never believes anything anyone tells him, it's no wonder no one tries to communicate with him later on.

He would never see legendary Tar Valon—he could not afford that risk, now or ever—but he might catch a glimpse of the Amyrlin Seat before he left. That would be as much as seeing a queen.

Rand's getting pulled around by the Pattern again, since he's already met a queen in person and you'd think he'd have learned his lesson from that.

He could easily see over the heads of most of them, enough to make out clearly what was going on in the courtyard. Just inside the main gate, a line of men stood beside their horses, fourteen of them. ... A dozen paces in front of the Warders, a row of women stood by their horses’ heads, the cowls of their cloaks thrown back. He could count them, now. Fourteen. Fourteen Aes Sedai.

Funny that there's an equal number of Warders to Aes Sedai, since that isn't a guarantee. We don't know all the Aes Sedai among the ranks, but we do know that at least two (Liandrin and Carlinya) didn't have Warders, possibly three (Serafelle's never clarified either way). Alanna is the only green we know about and she has two Warders, which covers for one of the gaps. Possibly Siuan's Warder is in the ranks here as well, which covers the other gap for certain. Also note that Leane is not one of these fourteen Aes Sedai, which means that sixteen came altogether counting her and Siuan. Regardless, I'm not tagging anyone except those mentioned individually.

Suddenly Ronan rapped his staff loudly three times on the broad paving stones, calling into the silence, “Who comes here? Who comes here? Who comes here?” The woman beside the palanquin tapped her staff three times in reply. “The Watcher of the Seals. The Flame of Tar Valon. The Amyrlin Seat.” “Why should we watch?” Ronan demanded. “For the hope of humankind,” the tall woman replied. “Against what do we guard?” “The shadow at noon.” “How long shall we guard?” “From rising sun to rising sun, so long as the Wheel of Time turns.”

We see so little of pomp and circumstance in these books despite humanity's love of silly rituals that I gotta quote in full the stuff that does show up. Also note how the ritual emphasizes the shadow as something wrong and fundamentally against the natural order. It's understandable why Rand came to the conclusion he had to kill the Dark One.

The tall woman drew back the curtain of the palanquin, and the Amyrlin Seat stepped out. Dark-haired, ageless as all Aes Sedai were ageless, she ran her eyes over the assembled watchers as she straightened. Rand flinched when her gaze crossed him; he felt as if he had been touched. But her eyes passed on and came to rest on Lord Agelmar.

Rand honey, you're the only Aielman in two hundred miles and you're the tallest man in the room. Of course she saw you.

He did not want to think of what would have happened if she knew who he was, what he was. What would happen when she finally found out. He wondered if she had had anything to do with the wind atop the tower; Aes Sedai could do things like that.

Rand is so completely wrong about Siuan on every level that it wraps around from stupid to adorable to stupid again. No Rand, the Amyrlin Seat didn't try to assassinate you from a distance through her magic scrying mirror. That's not even a thing.

It was his name that caused the problem, and a similarity. Rand al’Thor. Al’Lan Mandragoran. For Lan, according to the custom of Malkier, the royal “al” named him King, though he never used it himself. For Rand, “al” was just a part of his name, though he had heard that once, long ago, before the Two Rivers was called the Two Rivers, it had meant “son of.” Some of the servants in Fal Dara keep, though, had taken it to mean he was a king, too, or at least a prince.

No doubt in Manetheren "al" did mean royalty and only transferred to "son of" once the interbreeding led to it being so common a name.

“Yes, my Lord. The order came down only a short time ago. Only moments.” Tema’s voice picked up strength. “All the gates are closed as well, my Lord. None may enter or leave without permission. Not even the city patrol, so Tema has been told.”

Poor Rand, if he'd only controlled himself he would have arrived before the order and could have escaped. What a horribly unlikely coincidence!

Rand broke into a run. He just had time to see the surprise on Tema’s face, and then he was gone. He did not care what Tema thought. She will be sending for me now.

Rand, you know what would really make Tema think you were normal, unremarkable, and definitely not the Dragon Reborn? If you spent some time muttering to yourself or maybe burst into tears for no reason. Not a single male channeler in the world does that.

Ah well. Next time, we'll watch Rand try and fail to escape his date with destiny.

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #rand al'thor #leane sharif #agelmar jagad #siuan sanche

8 notes · View notes

eternally-tired-muffin · 1 year

Note

Is there demon slayer fate reverse AU where the younger siblings get the oldest sibling's fate, and older siblings get younger sibling's fate.

For example: Instead of Tsutako died, Giyuu died and when she tried to tell the village, they thought she was mad. When someone try to send her to mental hospital, she run away and then meet Urokudaki & Sabito.

Tsutako is still the oldest siblings, it just the fate reverse.

Hello!!! Firstly thank you for the ask and secondly SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG AH

This sounds like a really fun concept!! Demon slayer has so many siblings (which is part of why I love it) so you could change quite a lot with this.

I am personally really interested in how the butterfly sisters would work. Let's ignore Kanao for a second (sorry I love you I promise) and just flip Shinobu and Kanae. Instead of Kanae facing Douma and dying, Shinobu does instead. Similarly, Kanae would face Douma in the infinity castle arc, but how this fight would go down is interesting.

It's very clear that success in canon is due to Shinobu's plan as opposed to sword skills in the fight, so I wonder how Kanae would defeat Douma. Would she also turn to poisons, perhaps with Tamayo's help? I doubt she would replicate Shinobu's plan herself, though, so that doesn't seem like enough of an explanation.

I'm also not sure how to incorporate Kanao. As the ages have not been swapped, it doesn't make sense to me for Kanao to rescue Shinobu and Kanae instead. Hmmmm...

With the Tomioka siblings, I think Tsutako would be really interesting as a demon slayer! In my hashira surplus au, where both siblings live, I like to characterise her as someone who tolerates that Giyu wants to be a slayer but wishes he chose something safer/normal because that's what's safe and also what she wants. So I wonder how she would process Giyu's death (and her failure to save him). She runs away to avoid being put in a mental hopsital but maybe her fiance follows her. Maybe he believes her, but it's not enough. Would she be unable to accept a normal life in the fall out? Would the wounds be too fresh to get married, and she freaks out and runs again at the last moment? Is that how Urokodaki finds her later, a teenager sobbing in some corner in the woods?

As time passes, I think she would gradually heal and be conflicted. She wants a simple life and it would be so easy for her to leave, but she also feels a sense of duty. Through her training and experiences in the field, I think she realises that the demons are everywhere and she can't hide from them. Her normal life is unachievable now because even though her fiance is still out there, her brother is not and she can never go back to the ignorant bliss of being unaware of demons. Like canon!Shinobu, I think she works hard but carries a bitterness.

I also wonder what the pillar ranks would look like!

Does Senjuro take Rengoku's place, swapping the fate of who is blessed with talent? How does that impact Rengoku, as a failure of an older son, unable to protect his brother? How does that impact their father, who (while a terrible person who does not deserve forgiveness) has fallen the way he has because he loves his family and cannot bear for them to die?

Did Genya kill their mother and vanish to the corps? Does he still seek Sanemi out to apologise (perhaps for killing their mother? perhaps for abandoning him?) but is he limited by pillar duties?

Do the swaps not affect the ranks in the first place? Perhaps the only role swaps are the deaths - in which case, what happens in the Mugen train arc?

Other potentially interesting sibling pairs: gyutaro & daki, the spider siblings, yorrichi & his brother

Anon this is such an interesting concept!!! Ty for sharing it and I hope the ramblings are interesting:D

#kny #kny au #anon #ask

7 notes · View notes

finelinevogue · 3 years

Note

the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚

P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable

anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children

so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;

tw: vomiting, ppd and od

oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks

Motherhood was really fucking hard.

The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.

It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.

“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”

As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.

“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.

“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.

But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.

“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.

You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.

Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.

There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.

“You two boys okay?”

You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.

“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.

“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.

“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.

His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.

“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”

Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.

“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”

“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.

“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.

“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.

“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.

“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.

The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.

Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.

You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.

You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.

There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.

Last night had been that night.

Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.

You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.

It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.

“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.

You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.

“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.

Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.

“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.

“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.

“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”

“She’s really tired all of the times.”

“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.

Hell, was he so wrong.

“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”

“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.

Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.

“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.

He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.

Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.

“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.

999

“What’s your emergency?”

“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”

The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.

Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.

It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.

Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.

You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’

“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.

“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.

“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”

“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”

“Stop yes I do I—”

“Harry please you don’t owe—”

“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.

“Harry, you don’t mean—”

“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”

“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.

“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.

“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”

“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”

“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”

“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”

“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.

Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.

“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.

“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.

“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”

You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”

“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”

“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”

Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.

“I’m proud of you.”

698 notes · View notes

fictionadventurer · 3 years

Note

Supergirl (CW tv show) and The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes (Hunger Games prequel)

Supergirl: I like the sunshine-y atmosphere--both literal and metaphorical--of the show. I like that Kara gets to be a female superhero without the show going too obnoxious on the idea of "girl power". I was fascinated by Kara's backstory--the fact that she could remember Krypton and had to adjust to a whole new world--and as a result, loved the dynamic with her sister. I appreciate Jeremy Jordan getting cast in things. Cat Grant is a fun character. The crossovers with The Flash were some of my favorite episodes of the show.

But unfair as it is, my favorite thing about the show is that it introduced us to the Superman who's probably my favorite on-screen superhero. Tyler Hoechlin is amazing as an unapologetically wholesome and good Superman. He's a guy you want as humanity's hero. It's because he's 100% himself as Clark Kent and channels all that into being Superman, rather than using either identity as a disguise. He is the single greatest example I've ever seen of what true humility looks like. It's a characterization we only got because he was a guest star on another hero's show. He didn't have to have the inner struggles or moral conflicts that he'd have needed to be the central character of his own show; he could be comfortable and well-adjusted in his life and just step in when the story needs him. I'm very grateful that Supergirl provided the opportunity to present him this way, and I'm grateful that the spinoff show has held onto that core of decency and goodness that made him such an incandescent presence in this show.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: It all comes down to this one exchange.

"Trust is important."

"I think it's more important than love."

That's it. Right there. The core of the book and the core of humanity's struggle. All sin starts there--not trusting that the other person has your best interest at heart, so you'd better put your own interests first. It's in St. Faustina's message of Divine Mercy. It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve, who fell because they didn't trust God to do what what best for them. Love is the antidote to that mistrust--choosing to serve the other person despite the risk to yourself.

This book, for all its messiness as a story, is so, so important because Snow and Lucy Gray are a crystal-clear picture of the concept. They're a dark version of Katniss and Peeta. That future couple destroyed the Hunger Games because they trusted each other completely, willing to die rather than hurt the other person. Snow and Lucy Gray can't do that; they are too world-weary and wise for such holy foolishness. Just when it seems like they might be able to escape the violence of the system, they fall back on mistrust and decide to protect themselves rather than risk anything for the other person. That final battle in the forest is so dramatic, so cinematic, and so painful because it was avoidable, if only they'd stepped just a little bit outside their own fear. Their failure makes the heroism of Katniss and Peeta's success shine all the brighter, making us realize just how truly radical their choice was, how difficult and dangerous and yet how necessary it is to choose love. That alone justifies the existence of this prequel.

#answered asks #talking about stories i like #supergirl #superman #superman and lois #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #suzanne collins #thanks for asking about both of these #gives me a chance to talk about two topics close to my heart

23 notes · View notes

jokertrap-ran · 3 years

Photo

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Main Story Chapter 2-5: 时间针脚 The Patchwork of Time Translation

“What are you standing around in a stupor for? See a ghost?”

*Light and Night Master-list *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *Main story tag will be #For Light and Night

Behind the glass wall were several blurry figures busying around.

MC: This should be Team A's area.

Mya had suddenly called a few minutes ago to give me directions to the place I was supposed to report to.

I ran what I was going to say to everyone, in the form of an introduction, through my head once more before gently clearing my throat and opening the door.

❖☆———————————★❖

MC: Hello everyone, I'm—

Thunk!

The sound of metal heavily hitting the floor cut my words short as the handle of the door completely fell off.

MC: !?

Did I break it? No way! I broke the office's door on my first day here!?

I didn't quite know what to do for a while. One of the figures closest to the door turned slightly around at the noise.

He had a head full of spiky hair, like that of a hedgehog. He didn't spare even a glance at the door handle; instead, his gaze fell directly upon my person. He shot up from the seat of his workstation.

??: Yoooooou!!

MC: Sorry! It wasn't on purpose, I swear!

??: You're the newcomer that's supposed to be coming in today, right? Sister Zheng Lin, we've got an extra hand!

He excitedly yelled at the other end of the office.

This isn't quite turning out like how I imagined it to be...

Summoned by his yell, a plump woman speed-walked towards us. Her smile was friendly, but there was a sort of unconcealable exhaustion marring her features.

Zheng Lin: Hello. Welcome to Team A. I'm the leader, Zheng Lin.

MC: Hello. Um… I accidentally broke your door handle just now… Sorry…

??: Aw, that thing's been dead half a month ago. We just didn't have time to call someone down to fix it. Don't mind it, yeah?

??: C'mere. I'll bring you to your workstation. Your stuff looks pretty heavy. I'll take it for you, yeah?

He enthusiastically takes the office appliances I'd brought in from my hands and continues walking straight ahead.

Zheng Lin: That works too. I'll leave you to bring her around to meet the others then, Brother Mao. I'll come over once I'm finished up here.

I nodded, following after "Brother Mao".

Brother Mao: I'm Mao Ge, but you can call me Brother Mao! The best rock singer among all Designers here!

He grinned, pulling out a chair and gesturing for me to sit. He then magicked out a rag from god-knows-where and quickly gave the table a wipedown.

Brother Mao: You were 2nd place in the contest, right? We all watched the broadcast; it was absolutely brilliant.

Brother Mao: Especially when you chose Director Qi of all people. Boy, that was a killer! How did you dare to pick him?

Brother Mao: Forget his face, even his breath alone is an icy sub-zero.

Brother Mao: Ever seen an iron tree bloom? I'd say even that's slightly more common than seeing Director Qi smile.

Brother Mao: I'm not talking about his cold smiles, of course. We see that way too often.

MC: Eh? … I just thought getting him to review my work was a rare chance that I couldn't pass up on.

Brother Mao: You go, girl! Looks like we've finally got a competent person in Team A! Feel free to ask me anything if you face any problems in the future! I've gotcha covered!

He grinned, patting himself on the chest to further emphasize his point. He'd already assembled and laid out all of my office appliances on the table at some point in our conversation.

Brother Mao: Alright, everyone! Put everything down. Let me introduce to you our new buddy, (Y/n)!

All the people around me nodded in greeting as Brother Mao introduced them to me one-by-one.

Brother Mao: The one dressed in a Cheongsam is Li Man'man. She came here a minute earlier than you and braved through 3 interviews just to enter Warson.

Li Man'man: Hi, nice to meet you.

Brother Mao: And that's Chen Che, our team's tailoring genius. He's been here for nearly 4 years and has just been promoted to a Senior Designer.

The guy named Chen Che raised his head from the multitude of fabric surrounding him. He adjusted his glasses and gave me a wary look.

Chen Che: Hello.

It was at this moment in time that a guy sporting a quiff hairdo walked past us. His head was haughtily raised and his expression was one of utter disdain.

Man With Quiff Hairstyle: Hmph.

MC: And he is…?

Brother Mao: Don't mind him. He's an annoyance. He just failed the promotion test and is being the green-eyed monster to everyone right now.

I only nodded, not knowing what to say.

Brother Mao: That one over there's Hao Shuai, the trendsetter of Team A and also the King of Werewolf games.

Hao Shuai: Wanna play Werewolf? I'll host one next time, but not now...

Hao Shuai buried his face with a sullen expression as Brother Mao quietly pulled me aside to a corner.

Brother Mao: He's not been in too jolly of a mood these few days. He didn't manage to get promoted to Senior Designer, so he's been pretty depressed about it.

MC: Sounds like it's very hard to get promoted up a rank...

Brother Mao: Precisely! Although Warson has a rank promotion system in place, the way things are being assessed in them makes it scarily hard! People normally have to do it five or six times before they manage to get themselves promoted.

Brother Mao: And, you might even get demoted a rank if the work you turn in doesn't make the cut!

MC: That strict!?

Brother Mao: I'm a Junior Designer like you. I've already taken the assessment around…

Zheng Lin: 10 times.

Brother Mao: You remember all so well, Sister Zheng Lin.

He gallantly retrieved another chair for Zheng Lin to sit on, seemingly paying no heed to the embarrassing number of tries he'd gone through.

Brother Mao: Don't they say that failure's the mother of success? I just have to get a couple more of those and it'll net me a great success!

I laughed at his joke along with Zheng Lin.

Zheng Lin: Our assessment system is just stricter than others.

Zheng Lin: Even though everyone is free to design whatever they like with their creativity as the limit, becoming an actual Fashion Designer is some serious business.

Zheng Lin: Those capable of joining us here in Warson are all talented individuals. Hence, what's really being tested in those assessments are your passion and perseverance.

Zheng Lin: I've welcomed hundreds upon hundreds of rookies during my 10 years here in Team A, but most of them drop out after failing the assessment 3-4 times.

MC: Eh?

Zheng Lin: Firstly, everyone who first comes here holds high self-esteem, so they're a bit more sensitive to criticism. And it is only natural for people to find it unbearable, especially after having been criticized a lot.

Zheng Lin: Secondly, there's a limit to the type of jobs that can be given to Assistants and Junior Designers, so things often end up being boring and repetitive

Zheng Lin: It's hard to go on like that if you don't have the right sort of determination.

MC: ……

Zheng Lin was about to say more when the door slammed open with a "bang!". Several people stood at the entrance, worry written all over their anxious faces.

Colleague A: Can someone consolidate all of Sliver's Autumn-Winter fabrics into a document?

Colleague A: I still have to go down to the mall and conduct surveys and research so I won't be able to do that in time!

Colleague B: Some trouble cropped up regarding the visas of the foreign models who're slated for a shoot next week, so we need another 18 new ones!

Colleague B: What should I do, Sister Zheng Lin!?

Zheng Lin gave a helpless sigh.

Zheng Lin: I'd originally wanted you to let you get used to things around here, but we have our hands full… Do you mind helping us?

MC: … Sure thing!

Zheng Lin: Then, could you first help us by going to the warehouse and picking up Silver's Autumn-Winter fabrics and consolidating them into a sample book after?

Zheng Lin: You can get Brother Mao to help you check it through once you're done.

I nodded and joined the fray.

Time went by. And finally, I finished my very first task after an hour. Brother Mao told me to take it up to the Team A representative who was in the meeting after checking through it.

❖☆———————————★❖

It was clearly noon soon, yet the doors of the meeting rooms on both sides of the corridor were still tightly shut, I could occasionally hear the sound of loud discussions coming from within.

❖☆———————————★❖

MC: Excuse me, I'm here to deliver the fabric samples.

Pushing the door open, I saw a Designer who was in the middle of loudly explaining his idea while Sariel held a pen, looking down at the document in his hand.

All the other Designers were either listening intently or hurriedly sketching out their new ideas, having been struck by a sudden wave of inspiration. It was almost as if the very air itself was crackling with ideas, going head to head with each other, gathering and merging into a brand new storm of ideas.

I’m going to be taking part in meetings with everyone in the future too… I couldn’t help but jump for joy at the exciting notion.

Placing the fabric catalogue book down, I couldn’t stop myself from taking one last glance at the meeting room before I left.

❖☆———————————★❖

Brother Mao: Oh, right. Don't forget to retrieve the catalogue book once the meeting upstairs is done.

MC: Okay.

❖☆———————————★❖

Everyone left after the meeting ended. I picked up the scattered pieces of fabric, stacking them neatly into a pile. It was only then that I noticed a pen lying on the ground.

The pitch-black pen was see-through, slender, and sturdy, with three gold-stamped petals at the very end.

MC: This is...

An image of Sariel wielding this pen with his head bowed in thought appeared in my mind.

MC: Is this pen his? It certainly suits that icy countenance of his...

❖☆———————————★❖

I bent down to pick it up, but the moment my fingers brushed against it… I suddenly felt an inexplicable sharp jolt of pain piercing my head.

My heart clenched violently, almost as if a nightmare that had been buried deep within its depths was about to be awakened. The stifling feeling of sadness and despair washed over me together with the odd feeling of my heart having been impaled by something.

What’s going on?

I pressed against my chest, trying to get through this sudden bout of pain that came out of seemingly nowhere.

Sariel: What's going on here?

There seems to be a faint voice ringing through my ears. The pen was taken away from me the next moment. Gone with it were the odd sensations.

I blearily looked at Sariel who had suddenly popped up from nowhere, still slightly woozy in the head.

Sariel: What are you standing around in a stupor for? See a ghost?

MC: I don't know what happened to me earlier…

Sariel: That's what I'd like to ask you.

☆Light Choice: Explain what you felt earlier

I shook my head, trying to recall that odd sensation you felt earlier.

MC: I… My chest and head just suddenly started hurting.

MC: I know I’m in the meeting room right now, but it kind of felt as if I wasn’t here at the same time…

MC: Like a nightmare, you can never wake up from…

Sariel’s expression changed minuscule bit upon hearing the word “nightmare”.

Sariel: How about now?

MC: I'm fine now, and the uncomfortable feeling's also gone.

Sariel: Has this happened before?

MC: Once…?

★Night Choice: Conceal what you felt earlier

MC: I just felt a little light-headed… I'm okay now.

MC: Oh, right. I picked up your pen.

I pointed towards the pen that he'd already reclaimed, which was now in his hand. Sariel only frowned.

Sariel: You felt light-headed after picking up this pen?

It was only when he mentioned it that I realized that that seemed to be the case. But what would a pen have anything to do with a bout of dizziness?

Sariel coldly grabs my hand, making my heart stop cold in my chest. However, all he did was stare at it in silence for a few seconds before releasing me just as quickly.

MC: What are you looking at? Is there something wrong with my hand?

Sariel: Nothing. It's well and fine.

What's up with Sariel? Grabbing my hand out of nowhere like that and not even telling me the reason why...

So, I ended up giving my hand a thorough check as well. There was nothing off about it, but I couldn't help feeling a little worried.

I'd also experienced some "auditory hallucinations" back then at the rooftop…

MC: Maybe I should go get myself a check-up at the hospital just in case…

Sariel: You look pretty peppy on your feet to me. Doesn't seem like there's anything physically wrong about you.

His gaze smoothly slides up from my face to the top of my head as he spoke.

Sariel: Though, I can't say the same about the other parts of you.

MC: ……!

I was fuming, yet I didn't dare to express it with a vehement glare. Seeing how riled up I was at it, yet unable to do anything about it, a flicker of a smirk made its way up to a corner of his mouth.

This was my second time seeing him smile today… The iron tree has bloomed…

Sariel: Are there flowers growing on my face?

I shook my head.

Sariel: A ghost then?

I shook my head again.

Sariel: Then why are you looking at me as if you've just seen a monster?

MC: You just smiled. It's too rare of a sight.

Sariel: … How stupid.

He put on a straight face as he pocketed his pen and turned to head out.

Suddenly remembering something, I hurriedly pushed the door open and ran after him.

MC: Wait a minute, Director Qi! Are you free right now?

❖☆————— ⊹ For Light & Night⊹ —————★❖

Previous Part: (Chapter 2-3) | Next Part: (Chapter 2-8)

#光与夜之恋 #Light and Night #Otome #Translations #Tencent #萧逸 #Osborn #齐司礼 #Sariel #陆沉 #Evan #查理苏 #Charlie #夏鸣星 #Jesse #For Light and Night

27 notes · View notes

spikeface · 4 years

Note

(consider this more of a writing prompt than a request) I tried to read Theo Raeken's fandom wiki but couldn't get a sense of him. Can you sell him qua OC? Who is he? What does he want? What does he fear? What are the worst things he's done and what internal logic did that run on? In what ways has he been heroic, even if it may have been unrecognizable to others as such? (Concretely I'm hoping to read any answer and launch into reading fic about him)

This is still a sketch. Canon leaves a lot of lacunae around Theo, so I play with them, but this is one version:

Theo’s childhood leaves him a twisted shell of a person. He’s pushed by the evil scientists who kidnap him and make him their servant (for convoluted plot reasons) to commit horrible acts, beginning with the death of his sister when he’s ten years old. His exact involvement in her death is not clear from the canon. He stands over her, very still, and watches her die, but it’s not clear if he coldly killed her or was simply a drugged victim of the scientists, who mess with people’s perception of reality. My headcanon, based on other canon references, is that the scientists, who are obsessed with creating “the perfect evil,” also push him to kill his parents and eat human flesh, and do lots of other awful things that he pretends don’t haunt him so he doesn’t go mad. Theo is very good at pretending, and learns to stifle his feelings to the point that he can really only be honest about them when he’s actively lying about something else. When he lies to the sheriff about witnessing a murder, for instance, he indirectly acts out his grief over the death of his sister as he chokes out, “I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything.”

After eight years with the evil scientists, he’s a wicked little gremlin. He’s a practiced liar and manipulator, whose speciality is to push people to embrace their darkest urges. When we meet him, he’s trying to turn Scott’s pack as dark as he is, to retroactively justify his own acts to himself, and to make it more certain that the pack will accept him for who he truly is. Theo wants very, very badly to be accepted. Part of it is personal, after a lonely life of being the scientists’ Igor, filled with self-loathing for the things he’s done. Part of it is also pragmatic; as the scientists grow closer to success (resurrecting an evil monster, don’t ask) they have less and less use for him. The scientists kill things they have no use for--failures. Theo isn’t a failure, but he’s not quite a success either, in the scientists’ eyes. Theo is petrified of failure, and the scientists. He wants the safety a powerful pack will provide. The stark difference in power between him and the scientists has led him to equate power and safety.

He works on corrupting all of Scott’s pack members, but focuses his efforts on Malia, Stiles, and Liam. He pushes Malia to try to kill her mother. If she does, no one could judge him for killing his own parents. He pushes Stiles to destroy his friendship with Scott. Stiles looks out for Scott the same way Theo’s sister looked out for him—if he’s actually terrible, deep down, then maybe his sister was too. Then no one could judge him for watching her die. With Liam, his goal is more cathartic. He wants Liam to lash out furiously at Scott for refusing to bite someone, especially when refusing means someone’s death.

Though Theo can pass for a werewolf, he’s actually a weak mockery of one, the result of the scientists’ surgeries rather than being bitten. It’s why his sister needed to die, her heart a necessary organ transplant before the scientists could begin their surgeries (show logic, don’t ask). Theo hates them for it, though he’s suppressed that emotion as a survival tactic while living under their cruel thumb. He tells himself he’s embraced their philosophy of experiments with the supernatural, but deep down is the plaintive question he had as a small, confused child: why didn’t they just make him a real werewolf? He would have been stronger, faster, better in every way than this half-thing they made him. He could have just been bitten, instead of all that surgery.

They wouldn’t have had to kill his sister, if they’d just made him a real werewolf.

Scott is the only one whom Theo can’t corrupt. He’s everything Theo isn’t: powerful, honest, accepted, not only a real werewolf but a special one. Unlike every other Alpha in existence—and Theo—he got his werewolf powers without anyone needing to die for it. Theo is obsessed with him. He needs to destroy him. He does.

Scott uses his dying breath to tell Theo that his pack will never accept him. Infuriatingly, he’s right.

He also comes back from the dead, which complicates Theo’s plans even further.

Theo makes his own pack of people he brings back from the dead. They’re all experiments the scientists no longer had any use for, which Theo hates as a potential reflection of himself, but they seem easy to control. He tries to make them embrace their darkest urges. He’s not quite successful. It doesn’t help that, in a bid for more power, Theo captures an Alpha named Deucalion, who is working to sabotage Theo as a favor to Scott. Deucalion drives some of Theo’s pack away, and shows Theo how to consume others for power. Faced with the choice between a pack and power, Theo chooses power. In the end, he consumes even Tracy, the one person who does actually accept Theo, for who he truly is, lovingly and unconditionally.

Theo is now very powerful. He’s also completely alone, having broken even with the scientists. He’s wretched. He hates Scott more than ever. He tries to kill him and his pack again—and finds himself promptly sent to a hellscape by one of Scott’s pack, where he wakes up to find his sister waiting for him, ready to rip his heart out, again and again and again.

Things get interesting when Liam brings him back from hell, hoping some of the powers he consumed will help them with their current crisis. Over the course of months in hell, however, Theo’s extra powers have been stripped away, along with his smug artifice and his will to live. When Malia starts to beat him to death in a fit of rage, he simply lets her, the same way he eventually simply let his sister take his heart over and over. He recovers from his hell-induced despair enough to try to manipulate and negotiate and generally gremlin his way to safety, but it’s clear he has no idea what to do beyond that. As the one who brought him back from hell, Liam feels responsible for him, which to him means making sure Theo isn’t a threat, bullying him into being helpful, hitting him when he’s being annoying, and offering genuine friendship to Theo if he does actually help. Theo alternates between coldly telling Liam that he’ll leave him for dead the first chance he gets, and almost compulsively saving Liam’s life. He also hits Liam, when he thinks he can get away with it. He’s never had a friend before.

After that crisis is over, Theo languishes. For the first time in his life, no one is telling him what to do. There’s nothing to prompt him to try to find power or a pack, or anything else he once failed at completely. He’s also homeless. And alone. When something creepy and supernatural happens to him in the middle of the night, the only person he can think to call is Scott—but he doesn’t, held back by shame. He remains, in my humble opinion, quite obsessed with Scott. I’m tipping my shipper hand here, but I think what was once the desire to destroy Scott has become the desire to have… something else from him. Not just forgiveness. Theo’s not sure what. It’s been a long time since he was honest with himself about what he feels. He’s working on it.

He chooses to stay in Beacon Hills. Mostly, he continues to lie and push, but he does it to help the pack--particularly Liam, who needs a lot of help with the same anger Theo once exploited. His most redemptive moment is when he chooses to ease a dying enemy’s pain, one of his first completely unselfish acts of kindness. The show ends with him as an “ally.”

#long post #theo raeken #teen wolf headcanon #teen wolf

35 notes · View notes

taechaos · 3 years

Note

Idea series oc sneaking Tae in the house after he had big fight with his father about something (your choice if it's smutty or fluff or angsty) with a peek of a vurberable Tae? Honestly i think he would change the topic as soon as he started it and prob with sex.

Anyway I'm really interest in their family dynamic since I remember don't know if it was in part one or two that you mention they have really religious parents? And seeing how harsh their dad is with Taehyung it have me wondering how is his relationship with the mother and ocs with both parents, despite everything the seem really distant from their kids, maybe thats why Tae and YN find comfort in each other. OC is the first real bond Tae made with someone so maybe that's the reason of his fear of being replaced and his obsession with her, and ocs mother probably don't pay that much attention to her so that's why even after the incident she still want him to be there. At this point I'm just rambling I'm sorry. And this ask is all over the place, started with a request and ended questioning characters life 💀💀. Sorry hehe.

when i read this yesterday i was literally blown away by this like hOLY shit your analysis is so in-depth at first i was like damn do my characters have more than oNE DIMENSION?? WHICH IS RLY FLATTERING BUT I THINK ITS JUST UR WORDS THAT MADE ME SOUND SMART 💀💀💀 the ending is chef's kiss tho made me bust a lung SHFJJD thank you so much for taking the time to write this its honestly so fucking amazing. hopefully u can see more of their family dynamic in this drabble :)

Rays of sunlight slither through the cracks in the blinds of the living room, allowing Taehyung's father enough light to scan the newspaper he holds in his hand, with the musical, happy chirping of mockingbirds filling in the silence. All of these beautiful signs of nature and peaceful rotation of the earth makes Taehyung tense up even more.

The moment he got back home from buying drugs, his father greeted him in monotone with a, "would you sit with me for a moment?" and he hasn't spoken since. The zipperbag in his pocket crinkles every time he shifts in his seat, making him cringe momentarily before he starts nervously fidgeting again.

This is so awkward and yet equivalent to hearing: we need to talk. God, why is he so silent?

Clearing his throat, Taehyung stands just as his father flips a page with a lick of his thumb. "I'm going to my room really quick."

"No."

"Oh." When will his step-mother return? She's his only hope as he sits down while avoiding looking at his father, whose gaze is set on the black and white printed pages.

It's only a minute later when he talks without diverting his gaze.

"Your sister is in her room, researching her major to get a headstart on a typical syllabus."

"Smart," he comments with disinterest and nibbles on his upper lip.

"Taehyung, how was your attendance in college?" he folds the newspaper and curiously peeks at his son, who is doing a poor job at hiding his nerves.

"It was alright–"

"Lying is a sin, son," his movements are aristocratic when he leans his chin on his fist. "Don't lie."

"I'm not," he stammers and his eyes flicker, "it was bad at the beginning of the year, but I fixed it."

His father pinches the bridge of nose where his frames lie. "I love your sister, Taehyung," he sighs and takes off his glasses, "I want her to do well. I've given up on you, but her? She can accomplish great things if you're not there to influence her. You're a bad influence. Are you following me?"

Taehyung nods dumbly with a racing heart before registering his words and shaking his head. "What?" he blurts. "I used to help her with her homework all the time–"

"You were home once every month."

"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I didn't see her," he coldly says. That's not entirely accurate, but it is true that he saw you more than he saw his parents before he started living here again. For you.

His father is taken aback, offended as he scoffs, "You avoided me and your mother, and yet have the face to stay in our home?" He stands up and passes the coffee table that was Taehyung's only barrier to hover over him with distance. "I expected so much more from you, but you can't even do the bare minimum. An adult without a stable job, respectable girlfriend, and embarrassing grades. I'm ashamed to have raised such a boy, for I can't even call you a man."

Taehyung abruptly stands but he continues, "If you can't even pay rent, go back to that landfill you came from."

"I have to pay rent to live with my family?" He's livid and his hands shake by his sides; they're taking you away from him because what? He isn't the son they wanted him to be?

"You've made it clear that the only thing keeping you here is my daughter," he blindly points at the closed door of your room, "and you will have to try much harder to see her again. Get your life together, and you can come back."

Taehyung's face is heated with anger from the injustice. "What the fuck?! This is such bullshit; you're kicking me out?"

His father frowns at his language, growling, "Taehyung! I will not let you drag her down that path with you. When you stop destroying everything you touch, I'll gladly let you live here."

Destroy? He hasn't done any harm to anyone—especially not you. He knows he's self-destructive, but it doesn't extend to his environment. If he fails, it's his failure, but his father takes it personally instead of encouraging him to do better.

The importance of reputation and success in this family enrages him; he's aware that he's not much of an affectionate person either, but a little love wouldn't hurt to witness in the household.

Instead of defending himself or speaking his mind, he obliges bitterly.

"You need to get laid," are his last words before he slams the door and opens the zipper bag to pop a pill. Ecstasy isn't so fun when you're not around, but he can use the distraction. It's been a bad day.

He flips off a stray cat idling around the garden before casually leaving the property.

—————

Studying isn't fun for you, never has been, never will be. Though you hate every second of it, it does give you something to do to make time pass faster. You've been tutoring yourself about things you'll learn sooner or later anyway, but you guess it doesn't hurt to have to study less when the time comes.

You check the time. It's approaching night at 9 PM, and your father wouldn't protest against a break now, hopefully. He only suggested that you should start studying, but you know what his suggestions really mean.

Do it, or get shamed into doing it with subtle glances.

As if that isn't enough, he constantly checked up on you throughout the day. He wasn't exactly giving you a choice, which irks you.

But that's done and over with, and there's a more pressing matter at hand: where is Taehyung? You heard bits and pieces of the argument, but you couldn't get the whole scoop. You worry he's going to go back to his old habits of never being here, rarely seeing you. He would've been hanging out with you six hours ago out of routine... It can't just be you being clingy. Something happened.

You: are you coming home tonight?

The response takes a few minutes.

taehyung: nop

taehyung: but i am coming to ur room

taehyung: cuz ik u cant sleep without me 😖

You: actually the opposite but ok lol

You: when are you coming

taehyung: whenever u want uwu

You: uwu...?

You: just come before it gets too late

—————

So that was a lie. It's 1 AM and still no word from Taehyung. Okay, maybe you're just being clingy now, but it's unlike him not to be clingy. Maybe he wanted to cool off for a long time after his tak with your step-dad, or simply wanted to hang out with his friends after spending all of his time with you.

That makes sense. What doesn't is the slide of your window and shuffling of your curtains. You instantly sit up in your bed and clutch your blanket closer. You watch a silhouette enter your room as you pick up your limp, your tense muscles relaxing only when you recognize the intruder. You put down the lamp with a click of your tongue, ignoring the relief in your pounding heart.

"Hey," he stupidly grins at you. He looks disheveled, clothes untucked and wrinkled, and from the little light you have, you can see his redshot eyes.

"There's also the door," you remark sassily. "Are you um... high?"

He shrugs and crawls in your bed, dismissive as usual. You both make an effort to keep your voices quiet.

"I talked to mom earlier," you ease into the discussion until he butts in.

"That's great."

You roll your eyes and prop an elbow to look down at him. His head lies on his hands while staring at you, mood strangely upbeat. He's definitely high.

"She was a little sad about something, and I know it involves you. I heard you talking to–" You're interrupted with a lingering peck, a little rough in its force but not unwelcomed.

"I've missed kissing you. Shouldn't you be asleep, by the way?"

Recovering from the unexpected attack, you reply, "It's not that late. I don't have to wake up early."

"You shouldn't ruin your sleep schedule," he tucks a hair strand behind your ear without taking his eyes off of you. "Staying up is hard to stop once you start."

"Yeah, you're a great example," you joke with a quiet giggle. Whispering with him feels intimate in a heart fluttering way. His heart pangs with a feeling he can't put a finger on. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hm?"

"Don't play dumb, I'm really curious. What happened with dad?"

"A lot of things happen with dad," he shrugs, "sometimes we play catch–"

"Taehyung," you give him a pointed look, and he giggles.

"You're right, he'd never play catch with me." He groans as he stretches in your bed before trapping you with his arms on either side of you in one motion. You don't know what he's trying to do, but you watch him above you in amusement. "No offence, but when is your mom not sad when my dad is around?" he laughs with a huff.

"That's rude, Tae," you remark seriously, "she's happy when you're around."

Taehyung's smile falters like yours, his happy guise crumbling when he says, "Are you?"

"Pfft," you roll your eyes, "What do you think? I was up waiting for you."

Ah. That's not a very good influence.

"I'm here now," he whispers, "go to sleep. It's okay, I won't do anything, I know you worked hard today."

You agree with a yawn and nod. But even in your sleepy state, you can read the room—Taehyung is especially attentive of his tone and volume aside from being so tense. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in and on ecstasy," he falls back on his former spot, "I can't not be alright."

"Taehyung, I haven't seen you all day–"

"Yeah, because I didn't want to be here," he looks at you dead in the eye, "and I don't want you to be here."

You blink rapidly, slightly shaking your head in confusion, "What are you saying?"

"Move in with me."

He's met with cold silence, so he persuades persistently, "Don't you want to get away from here? You'll have so much more freedom with me, and I can help you with your assignments and everything. It'll be perfect."

"I— do you... Where?" Taehyung is high and he doesn't know what he's saying is what you believe because this is so out of the blue, so irrational, but he describes it like it's utopia; you are not completely against the idea.

"I have enough money from drug dealing to rent an apartment, and you can tell dad that you want to move out to be like an adult or whatever, that you have a stable job, without mentioning me," he rambles, and his dilated pupils are more noticeable up close; it slightly puts you off.

"Wh-what about mom?"

He scoffs, "If she wants out, she can get her second divorce. Don't worry about them; after all, they're apparently the only real adults here," he relates back to not being worthy of being called a man. You shift away from him little by little. "Just trust me."

The phrase is triggering for you, a reminder of the time you were tricked into trusting him moments before your trauma. "We'll talk about this when you're sober," you meekly say, avoiding eye contact.

A wicked smile grows on his face, "I can't wait, princess."

#idea tae #*cue big time rush theme*#just gotta say this one last time #the analysis was so well written #its honestly a sight for sore eyes 😫

7 notes · View notes

brennenscolby · 4 years

Text

Father Todd, Mother (Y/n) (One Shot)

Word count: 2,288

A/N: Contains Fluff/Comfort. Nothing explicit, but, if you feel like this may offend you in some way,-since it regards religion-, feel free to exit and read something a little more suitable for you;)

✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎

They were fucked.

Unbelievably fucked.

At least that's what Tim thought.

He was the one who created the earth-traveling device anyways. After working day and night, and going through a few dozen cups of black coffee or so, he created something he believed had the power to transport him to a different planet, -or dimension-, if he pleased. Bruce had been the one to reprimand him about using it, but, he later reluctantly accepted it after seeing Tim's test pass with complete success. Right now, the bat-fam was on a mission. A few heroes were stranded on Earth-15, and Bruce had sent Tim, Damian, and Dick to save them and bring them back. However, as easy as it seemed, things didn't go as planned.

The device had managed to go through some technological failure after sending the stranded heroes back to Earth-51, leaving Tim and the rest behind.

And there they were, stranded on Earth-15. The fact that none of them had any useful knowledge about the planet further put them on edge. They all hid a for a few minutes, clearly anxious about their situation.

Dick was the first to stand from his crouching position.

It seemed they had been transported to a random area, located behind an abandoned cathedral.

Or one that seemed abandoned.

He scanned his surroundings, checking every corner on high alert, before relaxing his shoulders and nodding towards his younger brothers,

"It's clear"

Tim and Damian stood from their positions, the youngest brother clearly not trusting his siblings as he stayed on guard, slowly trailing behind. As soon as they made in front of the cathedral, they stopped, opting to discuss a new plan. Dick watched as his brother in red and black attire went through his gadgets, eyes narrowed in concentration,

"So, What do we do? Just stand here like a bunch of imbeciles?", Damian questioned, emerald eyes gleaming with a small hint of desperation. Dick sighed, acknowledging the brave face he put on. He didn't know if anyone would ever spot the hint of vulnerability in Damian, but he sure as hell could being the brother, -and detective-, he was,

"Well, First we help Tim fix his device."

A sudden voice spoke up, a sweet very familiar timbre caressing their ears,

"I may be able to provide some assistance",

Instantly, they all turned their heads, eyes locking with a pair of gleaming (e/c) ones. Dick tilted his head in pure confusion, sharing a look with Tim as Damian sported a mild expression. It was you they were staring at. Except, you were wearing white and black, resembling that of a nun. Of course, each of the brothers were aware that doppelgängers were on every planet, but, they couldn't help but feel very surprised to find you. If they were being honest, being a nun kinda suited your sweet, considerate personality. You flashed a sweet smile, brows softening with empathy,

"Hello, excuse me for suddenly interfering. I couldn't help but notice you children."

Tim gave a weary smile, crossing his arms. Of course, they found it a bit humiliating to be called children, but, nonetheless, they allowed it to slide. Because it was your doppelgänger saying it, and because you were a nun. It would only be expected from the knowledge they had about that,

"I am Mother (Y/n), this is my cathedral. You must be from another earth I am guessing, yes? Follow me. I must provide you with as much as I can in the name of the lord"

They all gawked are each other, silently following your flowy, almost glowing form. Damian stomped his feet into place, his eyes narrowed his annoyance at the two elders ahead of him,

"Are you two insane? Why are you following? We don't know anything about her. She may prove to be dangerous",

Dick walked over, settling his hand on his brother's shoulder, before quickly having it slapped off by the young brat,

"Hands off, Richard"

He chuckled, face quickly growing serious,

"C'mon Damian. You have any better ideas? Plus, don't you like (y/n)?"

"Tt", he uttered, crossing his arms before begrudgingly following along. Tim examined his utility belt, a few lights going off to signal something,

"My gadget is picking up on two human presences. Whoever the other is, they're probably in the cathedral."

Dick looked down at his escrima sticks, which happened to glow a faint blue,

"Same here. From what I'm getting, it doesn't seem like they're evil."

After trailing behind you for what seemed like a few minutes, Tim was the first to speak up, hoping to ease the unnerving tension around them,

"Thanks for helping us. My name is Tim, and these are my brothers Dick and Damian"

Damian scowled as his identity was revealed. You glanced at them from your peripheral, chuckling at the way they began to bicker,

"It is alright children. Don't worry, I won't reveal your identities"

You opened the cathedral doors. They watched as your eyes aimlessly looked around,

"Father Todd! Father Todd?", you bellowed, hearing nothing but the echo of your voice. You turned back to the boys, watching as their expressions became hysterical once more. Tim and dick could barely believe it. Jason was here too? and he was a priest?! Settling your hands on your hips you arched a brow, crossing your arms,

"Are you children really Alright? You're looking at me like I've lost my mind." Before you could continue, two slender hands settled on each of your shoulders, spooking you to the core,

"I would look at you the same if I were them, Mother (Y/n). After all, you do have a unique way of being", you felt your cheeks burn as you craned your neck up, eyes meeting with amused cerulean ones. Black messy hair, a few strands of white, there stood Jason. Damian refused to believe at first, but, actually seeing Jason dressed as a priest with a cross around his neck was very, very perplexing. What the hell was going on here?? Fully spinning around, you looked up at Father Todd, eyes displaying adoration,

"F-father Todd! U-uh I was just looking for you. I wanted to introduce you to these children.", you pointed at each of them, presenting them to the priest, who seemed just a bit more interested in you than them. Dick and Tim watched your interaction with the Jason, amusement on their faces. It seemed even on another Earth, you both were still completely infatuated with each other.

However, Damian was quick to cut the interaction off, grumbling as a scowl crossed his face,

"Cmon you too. We do not have all day. Especially you, Father Todd", he spat, fuming with impatience and irritation by simply seeing Jason, -or what looked like-, Jason. The priest simply turned to him with a slightly baffled expression before releasing a slight chuckle, smiling brightly nonetheless,

"I see you have a...rather eager one. Please, settle down with me. It would be rude of me not to welcome you in the house of God"

Damian frowned in confusion. How was it possible that Jason could actually be somewhat nice to him?? Even if it was just his doppelgänger, it made his head hurt when he thought about it. They all followed, teasing and clearly enjoying Damian's reaction as you walked ahead with Jason. He pulled out a few chairs from the table next to the alter, gesturing for each to sit,

"May I ask how you children arrived on this planet? Mother (y/n) and I may be able to help"

"We meant to transport to Earth-51, but, it seems like my gadget wasn't working as well as I thought ", Tim scratched the side of his head, smiling bashfully. Father Todd nodded in understanding, hands folding on the table,

"I may just have the thing for this", he winked, standing up and walking over to the other side of the room. Upon pushing some buttons on a keyboard, everything lit up, displaying technological equipment of all sorts. Jason smiled upon seeing Tim's look of atonishment. He quickly walked over to the other side, immediately asking the priest questions and whether or not he had some coffee somewhere. You chuckled at them, steering your gaze over to Dick and Damian who sat directly infront of you,

"Now that I understand the circumstances you've been put under, you may stay as long as you'd like", you announced, handing Dick a cup of tea since he asked for it. He watched you with a neutral expression, clearly curious,

"Wait, you're actually okay with this?"

Jason, who had been helping Tim set up his gadget on the other side, came back, settling to stand behind you. He nodded with you after hearing his statement, offering another smile,

"Of course. I am a Gotham priest and she is a Gotham nun after all"

You grinned, features relaxing,

"We've seen stranger things"

——————————————————————————

With the help of his brothers and father todd, Tim had managed to fix his gadget. Dick smiled in triumph, watching everything quickly fall into place.

Your reassurance and kindness surely brought his heart to ease. He understood that all doppelgängers weren't exactly the same, but something about you, on this planet, clearly radiated your vibe and personality.

Nonetheless, the more time he spent seeing you, the more he was starting to feel homesick. The others couldn't really feel it, but, he missed his baby sister. His confident, blunt but kind adoptive-sibling, who had always managed to offer him solace. You turned back to Damian and Dick, a look of sympathy crossing your face as you met eyes with Dick,

"Are you alright, Dick? The gadget will be ready for use in just a little longer"

He smiled softly, nodding his head,

"Im fine. It's just, you remind us of someone we know on our Earth", you nodded, a flash of sadness in your eyes. You didn't know why, but you just sympathized deeply with them. Must've been your connection to your other counterpart. Standing up, you placed a hand on Dick's, offering comfort as his azure orbs met yours,

"Whoever this person may be, I am determined to get you home to them. I really hope you get the chance to greet them"

Dick smiled softly, placing his hand over yours,

"I hope so too"

———————————————————————————

After a few hours of preparing and installing some new pieces, the gadget was fully ready. Tim, Damian, and Tim waved goodbye to you and Jason before pressing the device and going through a portal.

——————————————————————————

Tim took his hands off the device, looking around with his brothers in hopes of finally achieving the bat-cave. All they saw was your figure alongside Jason's, standing next each other as you faced the bat computers. Upon hearing one of them take a step, you and Jason turned, your eyes sparkling as you smiled at your brothers. When you saw your oldest brother you jumped, running directly into his arms, "Dick! I missed you". He smiled, leaning his chin down on your head, "I missed you too, sis. So much." You were quickly interrupted by the rest, the voice of Damian making its way to your ears,

"Hmpf. I cannot believe you forgot about us for this ass." You chuckled, making your way over Tim and Damian as you opened your arms, hugging them tightly into a group hug,

"How could I forget the most phenomenal robin of all", he smiled as the rest rolled their eyes, clearly disagreeing with your statement. You released a sigh of relief after pulling away, jogging back to your position and punching a rather distressed Jason,

"See! I told you they'd make it home just fine",

You stuck your hand out in front of him, a cocky smirk on your face,

"Now pay me what you owe me"

"God dammit", the tall male grunted, sighing as he pulled his wallet out, placing a crumpled $20 dollar bill in your hand. You smiled in triumph, feeling even better at seeing Jason's defeated expression.

You both crossed your arms, examining your brothers in anticipation,

"So, did you still finish the mission even tho you got kinda stuck somewhere?"

You and Jason had known about the incident regarding the three, receiving the signal through your communicators. They all nodded, a bit perplexed as they had just seen you a few moments ago,

"Stop staring at me. It's unnerving as hell", Jason spoke, running a hand through his hair to get the strands out of his eyes,

"It's just, when we were stranded in Earth-15, we saw both of you guys... but, you were a priest and (Y/n) was a nun"

You both turned and looked at each other, clearly not believing a single word. Jason chuckled as you laughed hard, clutching your stomach. After what seemed like a few minutes, you calmed down, wiping your eyes,

"What a knee slapper. That was funny. Ok, now stop fucking around and go out there and help Bruce. Jay and I have to take care of some thugs"

"We're not lying!"

"Sure you're not you clowns", Jason rolled his eyes, walking away as you chuckled lightly. Tim and Dick looked at each other, shrugging their shoulders before parting ways. Damian turned, walking in the direction of the stairs that led back to the mansion,

"Seeing Todd again, makes me wish he actually was a Priest."

✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝�� ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎ ✞ ✟ ✝︎

#jasontodd #batman #gotham #selfinsert #robin #self insert #nightwing #jason todd x reader #jason todd #fathertodd #father todd #priest! jason #red hood x reader #dick grayson #tim drake #Jason Todd x reader #red robin #red hood

145 notes · View notes

zachsgamejournal · 3 years

Text

PLAYING: Breath of Fire IV

I'm not sure my son is as invested in this game as he was III. He may have point, but he also may need a break...

So, a dragon flooded the dam then said hello at the coast as a mysterious musician hinted at Ryu's dragon lineage.

Afterwards, the group arrives at a town filled with traps. I can't remember 100% why. I think the intent was to keep "monsters" away so that travelers would feel safe to come by. It's kind of silly how the whole town is filled with traps and every villager is obsessed with the efficacy of their own traps.

We need to leave by a pass that is guarded by a soldier. We need the mayor's permission to pass. The mayor has guarded their front door with a cage a la Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. So you have to willing drop into a pit-trap to get into the mayor's basement. But he's not there. It's assumed he's in the nearby woods.

In the woods is an interesting minigame. There's a particular monster the Mayor has been trying to trap. When you see it, you have to track its footprints. But there's a time limit and traps everywhere.

Success means finding the mayor who proudly injures a creature with a trap. A giant boss monster appears to take revenge, which our heroes have to kill. We're then allowed to use the pass (like the guard could have stopped us).

Gonna break plot summarizing to acknowledge how this game doesn't seem as concerned about moral ambiguity and duality. It seems far more focused on war, war-minded nations, and how war hurts the populace.

After the pass we get to Synesta. I have no idea what we're doing here or what to look for. It's said that this town had previously been contaminated by the Hex, but it's been cleared...on the surface. Turns out the nuns of the local orphanage need help catching a rather escapee young boy. After a less-than-fun mini game, you catch the boy and go talk to the nuns.

The nuns remember Nina's sister, Elina, having stopped by on a special mission. But they don't know what happened next. The young boy says he knows, but won't tell until you finish a game of hide-n-seek.

No thank you.

But I have no choice.

After finding all but the escapee kid, it's said he may be hiding out in the city's underbelly, which is still infested with monsters from the Hex. Still, some random dude that Ryu could one-hit kill prevents us from going downstairs. But he's thirsty.

I'm not sure how much the player has an effect on this, but there's a lady with water for sale. She doesn't sell it to you. Just says she's selling it. Then she walks over to the basement guard and the guy gets distracted by water. Less than exciting.

Down in the basement, we find the boy. He admits that Elina was confronted by a Local "merchant" and Imperial officials. So we need to speak to this "merchant": Marlock. But Marlock's front door is guarded by a muscle guy--whose ass we kick. Marlock is intrigued by our violence and agrees to see us.

Marlock, with his French accent, says he didn't do anything bad to Elina (sure). He expects you to do a deed to get his help. He wants you to track down a theif and leave Nina behind...to help out around the house.

I got confused about where the thief was, cause we found his empty hide out. Turns out you have to stop at one the questions marks on the way. The thief makes a run for it. Now at his hideout, we use a mini-game to catch him. He reveals that he was in-debt to Marlock and the stuff he stole was first stolen from him. Cray thinks this is BS and we go back empty handed to confront Marlock.

All the while, Marlock is slowly trying to get Nina to put her hands on him, cause he's a fucking creeper.

Marlock is not excited by our "failure" and says the stuff was his, whether or not he obtained it by fair means. He offers another job, go help out on a sandflier wharf. Once again, we leave Nina to be objectified and sexually harassed by Marlock.

At the wharf, we're tasked with a mini-game of using cray to push barrels and vases into the correct places. Afterward, we have to load a sandflier with a mildly entertaining mini-game. You use a crane to load boxes. It's not very user friendly, but ah-well.

Just as we're about to throw our hands up about the BS, Nina apepars, followed by Marlock. I fear what they implied happen. Anyway, Marlock offers us the "best cabin" to get to...the next place. Which is where he took Elina. This "best Cabin" is a crate. Makes sense, but Cray isn't having it.

We arrive at a large tower the transports things via magic across the sea. After wandering around, fighting monsters (my son doesn't enjoy the fighting: BORING), we get to the top. BUT the imperial soldier that Nina and Ryu confronted at the beginning of the game stops us. He's not gonna let us leave.

After a boss battle, we jump through the portal. The imperial solider can't believe that he's seen a dragon.

This was good, cause I kept thinking about how in BoF3, everyone is obsessed with the fact that Ryu is a dragon. While other dragons are important to the plot in BoF4, it seems no one really cares that Ryu is a dragon.

FLASHBACK

Or...Flash over...no sure.

Fou Lu is recovering from his injuries. Bunyan is helping him (good ole Bunyan). Once healed, Bunyan asks, sadly, if another war is coming. He was a soldier and didn't like the war. Fou Lu heads down the mountain but is confronted by clown-nose, leading imperial troopes. (I can't remember clown-nose's name, but he's the guy that attacked Fou Lu at the beginning.)

Fout Lu fights off the boss, then turns into a dragon to flee. Clown-nose sends another boss, and Fou Lu is injured in his escape.

Back to Ryu and Friends, they've made it to the Imperial side and go to the next town. This town has a large gun, a la Junon (FF7). it's what they used to shoot the Hex at towns across the see. It requires water to cool down, so they needed an aqueduct. I wandered about, talking to everyone, trying to figure out what to do. Apparently I just needed to leave, cause the next area appeared on the map.

it's the aqueduct. It's short, but requires some camera shifting to figure out. It's kind of interesting, because the game warps you to special battle rooms instead of having monsters appear on the screen, it allows the designers to make more interesting dungeons that don't necessarily have to accommodate the appearance of monsters. But also, the towns are waaaaaay too claustrophobic, making it hard to move around and find things.

The aqueduct takes us to the place the team dreamed about. They're sure they'll find Elina hear. We're caught by an official and he tells use Elina WAS there, but is there no longer. I'm sure this is a play on words given what I know about Elina's fate.

So that's it for now.

The world map is interesting. You don't roam freely like in BoF3, but it also takes less work to get to new locals. I'm a little torn, but it's fine. It also allows the world map to just be a map, offering more realistic looking landscapes...in a sense.

I'm enjoying the graphics. Clearly the team better understood the PS1 hardware. It's still fairly block, but the textures are great and look amazing even for a 20+ year old game!

#Zach's Game Journal #PLAYING #Breath of Fire IV #PlayStation 1 #DuckStation #Kishi Controller #Video Games #Portal for three

2 notes · View notes

tanoraqui · 5 years

Note

i know this is super old, but for the crit role/lotr crossover you wrote, what was your plan for percy? (my instant thought on who he might be was saruman, but more reasonably i'm guessing he would have been eowyn?)

[the AU in question]

I was going to give Cassandra half a break, actually, and let her be Eowyn.

It’d go a lot like this:

…

It’s difficult to travel incognito across open plains with a bear, so they didn’t try. They stopped before the Riders could get to them and let themselves be circled, and when Vex put her hand on her bow and Vax fingered a dagger hilt, Keyleth put her hands on both their shoulders and stepped forward. “Riders of Rohan! What news?”

The blond young man at the head of the company kept his hand on his sword, and leaned forward over his horse’s neck only warily. “I should ask the same of you. What brings two elves, a bear, and a woman to the Western mark of Rohan?”

“Hunting orcs,” said Keyleth, unflinching despite the warlike stares of the riders. “They’ve taken a couple of our friends. We want them back.”

“And who are you, to hunt orcs on our lands?”

“I am called Minxie,” she said, “and I am from the North. My companions hail from Mirkwood.” Her eyes sharpened upon a brooch on his shoulder, and armor that would be white, were it cleaner. “What brings a warrior of the Paleguard to the Western mark? Should you not be tending upon King Fredrick?”

“Fredrick is dead,” the captain said bluntly. “Percival now sits the throne, and-”

He swallowed some speech, and continued roughly, “I am Kynan. Lady Cassandra bid us here. To hunt orcs, in fact, which we have done.”

…

Whitestone was beautiful in the afternoon light. In the morning, once could suppose the pale stone that gave the city its name would sparkle with dew; in the afternoon, the sun turned them to gold and fire, so that the whole king’s palace of Rohan seemed alight.

The guards at the door held strange weapons, stocks of wood attached to cylinders of dark metal, triggers as though for crossbows where they joined. They were much like the weapons the orcs had carried, which shot pellets of metal and sounded like thunder.

“What are those damn devices of Isengard doing here?” Vex murmured to her friends.

“Maybe they’re allied after all, and we’re all about to die,” Vax murmured back. Keyleth just grimaced.

The guard they were passing, it turned out, had sharp ears. “Percival invented these weapons,” he said sharply, “who is now king. The Lady of Isengard is an ally, but how the orcs began making them, we do not know.”

“Is that the word, in Whitestone,” Gilmore said darkly. The guard blanched, but Gilmore still looked grimmest of all.

…

The Lady Cassandra was pale; the darkest thing about her the dark hair that fell in ringlets around her shoulders, and even that seemed faded, and streaked with white. She did not move upon the bed; she barely seemed to breathe.

“As I said, it was her own foolish fault,” said Percival. He was less frenetic, staring at his sleeping sister rather than the inventions of his laboratory, yet it did nothing to ease the wanness of his own face. “She raced out to the Westfold, even though I bid her stay here, and a Black Rider fell upon them. They brought her home four days ago, and she has not woken since.”

“Another grave loss,” murmured Anders. “All the more reason to keep our forces-”

“Nonsense,” Keyleth said briskly, and pushed him to the side. “Percy - that is, sire, do you have any athelas? Or kingsfoil, or-”

…

“Percival son of Fredrick, esteemed King of Rohan,” called the wizard, and her speech was proud but respectful, melodious and warm. “Why do you attack me? I have only created great works - and you have done the same! In this we are matched, and I consider it with pride, for I have only ever admired and supported the ingenuity of man. The other races, Percival, and you know thisin your heart, they lack your dynamic ability to adapt, to build upon failure so quickly that success becomes an inevitability.”

Vex and Vax rolled their eyes in mirrored motions; Keyleth pursed her lips; Kima shifted her axe with a growl and might have drawn it were it not for Allura’s hand on her shoulder. All seemed to wait on Percival, who did not speak.

Ripley continued, a hand outstretched. “If you leave this place in peace - or better, if you will come and discuss your plans with me, your thoughts for the future - I have faith that you will all succeed in your mission. And I am glad - for I have no interest in the tyranny of Mordor.”

Her words were reasonable - a mentor to a promising but wayward student, a queen to a beloved ally. Forgiving of the past and burning with passion for the future. To those who fell under its spell, it seemed inevitable that Percival would nod and ascend the steps of the tower; to those who hadn’t, it seemed equally inevitable. Gilmore watched without a word.

Percival scoffed, and looked past Ripley to where Anders crouched on the roof. “You really follow her? Are you an idiot?”

…

Get up, Vex whispered to herself, in the silence of her own mind. Quiet seemed to have fallen over the battlefield as well, or at least her small corner of it. The terrible black beast and its dark Rider demanded it. Get up, daughter of Mirkwood. Daughter of Imladris. Get up, or the idiot king you promised to protect is going to die, and so will everyone else. Vax is in that city somewhere; get up.

But it was not her hand that drew a ringing sword; it was not her voice that declared, “Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, queen of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!”

A voice as cold as a night on Weathertop hissed back, “Come not between the Nazgûl and her prey! No mortal man may hinder me, and any who try shall be borne away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.”

And then Vex did look up, for what answered the Nazgûl was a laugh, bright and clear and nearly as cold, and yet bearing in it the echo of sunlight. What she saw was a young woman, standing between the Witch-Queen and the fallen steed and body of the young king of Rohan, and her sword was steady as she removed her helm to reveal dark hair streaked with white.

“But I am no man! I am Cassandra, de Rolo and shieldmaiden. I have looked on your kind before and I fear you not - but I do swear, you shall not touch my brother, for living or dark undead, I shall smite you where you stand!”

#lotr #lord of the rings #critical role #vox machina #percival de rolo #cassandra de rolo #anna ripley #quartus saeculum ascendans #quartus saeculum irruens #nivis saxi sol #hunter's hex #a bit #the hellbound gunship #fanfiction #my fic #random anon asks

70 notes · View notes