#identity development

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hello

I’m a potentially a newly discovered system

Idk how to transition into this question, so I’m just gonna get into it:

So, there are two other presences that I can feel in my head that are kind of separate people, but they don’t front or anything.

Is there a way to help them fully develop or something like that?

Hi! It’s totally fine for headmates or system members to not front, we have alters in our own system who front very rarely, if ever! As far as helping these system members develop more, the biggest thing we think you could do to help them is just to spend a lot of time with them! Talk with them, ask questions, let them know what’s been going on in your life and ask for their opinions. Building a headspace together, if you don’t already have one, may be a good way for them to each learn more about their preferences and who they are as individuals 💖

Learning about different types of plurality may in turn help you learn more about these potential headmates and more about your own potential multiplicity! So we’ll go ahead and link our resource post for questioning systems for you, just in case something listed could be helpful:

Genuinely though, we think it’s possible that the more time you spend with these headmates, the more they’ll be able to develop into their own multifaceted, complex individuals! So don’t rush yourself and try to have fun with this process! It may be good to keep an open mind and allow them to experiment and be fluid with their identity and sense of self as they’re still finding their way in life.

It very well could be possible for them to develop without ever fronting! Our partner system has a member who never front who is quite well rounded and complex! Fronting isn’t a requirement for developing, changing, and becoming your own unique individual ✨

Not sure how much these posts might help, but we’ll go ahead and link a little headmate form one of our parts made a while back along with our other post on individuality and self discovery!

Some of the tips in our “Finding Ourselves” post do involve fronting, but we hope that something in it could be helpful anyways! You could always conduct interviews, ask them questions, and talk to them to help them round out their identities a bit more.

We hope something we’ve said here works for you! Feel free to update us in the future on how it’s been going with these headmates gaining some form of identity for themselves!

P.S. one of my parts wanted me to mention Build a Headmate blogs! These are blogs which put together “packs” with names, genders, likes, aesthetics, and other identifying info to help created systems find inspiration for their own headmates or for established headmates to come into their own a bit more. It may be worth looking into!

[noodles-and-tea]

For the twins in time AU, I genuinely wonder what kind of people the young twins grow up into because of Stan’s/Ford’s influence. Especially if it takes years for the portal to get fixed.

(Sorry if it seems like I already sent this question, I don’t know if it got sent the first time I asked)

I haven’t fully fleshed out how Ford grows up in the past but I do have thoughts on Stan presently

[ilions-end]

ahh elizabeth vandiver's lectures pointing out a heartbreaking moment in the odyssey i wasn't even aware of:

telemachus addresses eumaeus the swineherd as atta (ἄττα). in my fagles edition it's translated as "old friend", but as vandiver points out, atta has two meanings: it can be used as a familiar-but-respectful form of address to an older man (which is how telemachus uses it), but significantly it's also baby-talk for "father", parallel to papa/dada. it's what telemachus WOULD have called odysseus growing up, but now telemachus refers to him as xenos, a visiting stranger/foreigner.

like imagine. odysseus is in disguise as a beggar, it's the first time he's seen his son since infancy, and one of the first things he hears telemachus say, to another man, is "daddy, who is this stranger?"

[justiceforplutoo]

I feel like steddies are always going for bi steve/gay eddie but consider: comphet gay steve/bi eddie. I'm so sure someone's said this before but...consider with me, ok?

consider a young child steve whose father still works in hawkins but is never with the family, leaving steve with his mother and his mother's girl-friends. they talk all about their husbands and their families and one day steve, all innocent, asks his mom, "when will I get a husband?"

his mother clutches her chest and says, "oh no, stephen, that isn't how that works."

steve who confusedly nods along and goes with it.

steve who chastises himself every time he catches himself staring in the locker room, or in gym, or at swim meets.

steve who finds himself, years later, confused as to why he can't find himself feeling for the girls he dates the way they do for him.

steve who convinces himself that he'll find the right girl one day.

consider steve sitting on the floor of the starcourt bathrooms with robin, covered head to toe in vomit and blood. and this is it, right? this is the part where he gets the girl. and something in him cringes at the thought. something in him says, no, you don't want her.

he brushes it off as king steve telling him who he should and shouldn't date.

and then robin starts panicking and talking about tammy thompson (oh.) and suddenly they're singing muppets and steve has this paradigm shift because he doesn't have to get the girl.

it takes him a couple months and one "don't ya, big boy?" to make him realize that he doesn't have to get the girl.

and it's funny - honestly, it is - because robin comes out and so does will and eddie is...himself, but steve thinks to himself, well, that's good for them, but it could never be me.

and he keeps saying that it could never be him until the split second before he realizes it is him.

it could never be him, he thinks, but rocky horror picture show is playing in the background and eddie leans into his space and talks all about how sexy rocky's body is and somehow that leads to jocks and somehow that leads to, "so what do you like, steve?"

and somehow that leads to a strained and breathless, "I think I like you, eddie."

and then they're kissing, and steve is desperately pawing at eddie's collar, unsure where to put his hands. it's a blur, and all steve really registers is that they're kissing, and then-

and then steve starts crying. silently, at first, and in the heat of the moment, unnoticeable, except then steve is pushing eddie away and eddie looks hurt.

"I read that wrong, didn't I?" says eddie.

steve gulps in air, face red, and barely manages out a "no".

"...no?"

"I don't think I like girls, eddie. but I like you."

"you know you can like both, right? I mean, I do."

steve nods, then shakes his head. "I think I just like boys, eddie."

"oh, okay."

eddie leans in for another kiss.

[teophan]

a fantastic commission from @themetalhiro of my Dungeons & Devil Fruits 5e Sniper Marksman, Vinsmoke “Starfall Gunner” Beretta!

it was an absolute treat to work with you, looking forward to the next opportunity to do so!

[oc-loving]

which oc does not go by their birth name? do they still use it for some occasions or not at all? how do they feel when they hear their birth name?

[agirlwithglam]

creating a new identity:

aka; how to build an alter ego / how to create the new you / creating your higher self / create a new version of yourself

this is a guide for people who want to change their life around, and most importantly, change themselves (because obvi to change your life, you must first change yourself first). oki lets get started!!

3 reasons why you want to change:

first of all name at least 3 reasons WHY you want to create a new identity. some reasons could include:

wanting to get better at school/ higher grades

becoming more social

more stronger

more disciplined

becoming better at something (ex a language, instrument)

if you don't have your 3 reasons on why you want to create a new you, then your desire is probably not strong enough and you won't be able to stay consistent in it.

create the new you:

give it a name! (you can do this at any point tbh so not really important atm)

choose and decide the aspects of your new identity: (how they think, act, behave, feel. what their hobbies are, their habits, what type of person they are, how they treat others and themselves, etc etc)

write down these aspects in your notes app, notion, blog, docs, (wherever you want to). you don't have to go in full detail but just write everything that you need for this new identity so that if you forget or need to be reminded, you can just check that.* *reminder that you can create more than 1 identity/ alter ego! so for example you may have one thats for workouts/ sports, one thats for studying, one thats for socialising, etc. this means that you don't necessarily need to write other hobbies for an alter ego that is made for working out. you just need to write whats important to that specific identity.

once you've done all this, theres nothing left but to just BECOME. stop over planning and procrastinating, step into the energy of this new version of yourself. channel the energy and enjoy your life!

tips:

take inspiration from people in real life! this can be celebrities, anyone you've met and admired, movie/ tv show characters (for me; rory gilmore, elle woods, gina linetti), book characters, etc. you don't have to create a new alter ego from scratch, you can just adopt energy of a person that has already been created/ exists.

a signature something. give this new identity a signature scent, outfit, accessory, etc. anything just to give it a bit of a touch/ cherry on top <3

Xoxo, Vanilla

[arcanewebs]

personal take on fem tsukasa

[dukeofthomas]

Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.

[cali]

when ur zone of duty spans wider than a hundred ears can ear...SIGH

[stargazingdustbunny]

I see your "Jason Todd adopts infant Damian AUs" and I see your "Stephanie keep her child AUs" and I offer you: Jason Todd and Stephanie meet at a parenting class at the community college. They don't realize who the other person is, but they bond over their experience of being a young single parent.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hey i have a question, how do i develop my own identity as a headmate? i was the host when we figured out we're plural, so i never really did as much self discovery as other headmates did, and i'm now realizing i don't have much of an identity. like i don't have any hobbies or interests outside of out collective ones.

Hi! There’s lots of things you can do to develop your own identity as a headmate outside of your system’s collective interests and identities.

Ralsei (hiya!) put together a template for getting to know other system members a while back. Maybe you could use it to try and get to know yourself?

We’d also recommend doing stuff like:

Answering plural, headmate, and alter ask games! You can find a bunch by searching for the “#plural ask game” and “#system ask game” tags on Tumblr!

Doing self-reflection! Spend some time thinking about yourself and who you are. What do you want in life? What are your aspirations? Does anything stand out to you or sound interesting that may not be exciting for the rest of your system?

And most importantly…

Try! New! Things!

Experiment with everything! Try all sorts of new foods, listen to different kinds of music, try and learn a new skill or hobby that has even passively caught your interest! Play with your gender identity and expression! Question your sexuality and how you experience attraction! Learn about alterhumanity, kintypes, and what it means to be nonhuman! Read all kinds of books and watch lots of different movies and shows! Spend time learning about different religious, philosophies, values, and schools of thought! And through all of this, don’t be afraid if the things that draw your interest vary vastly from what the rest of your system is into. It’s okay to be different, and this process can help you develop into your own headmate with different tastes from the rest of your system!

As you go on this journey of self-discovery, not everything you try is going to click with you. And that’s okay! Just keep trying new things, and as you discover more about who you are, don’t be afraid to express this and be yourself! Of course, this is a process that will likely take some time, so please don’t be too discouraged if you’re having trouble figuring yourself out after a few weeks of experimentation! With time and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone, we really think you may find it gets easier for you to develop your own identity!

Good luck with this! We hope the process of developing your identity goes smoothly for you, and that you can have a lot of fun along the way!

🌷 Corrie and 💚 Ralsei

[allaboutthemoonlight]

How to Master Motivation

Hi friends,

Today I want to talk about motivation and finding ways to maintain it in our daily lives. Motivation is a crucial factor that drives us to achieve our goals, overcome challenges, and stay committed to our development.

Understand the locus of control

Our locus of control, internal or external, is the degree to which we believe we have control over what happens to us in our lives. It influences how we respond to circumstances that impact us and how motivated we feel to take action.

An external locus of control is when we believe that our life and the outcomes we experience are a result of external forces beyond our power. We think everything that happens to us occurs because of chance or luck—two things we can’t control.

The key to staying motivated is to develop an internal locus of control. This is when we believe that we’re responsible for the things happening to us and understand that we have control over the outcome. It’s a level of self-determination where we realize our efforts, decisions, and habits create the life we live.

So, how do we adopt an internal locus of control?

The first point I want to emphasize is that, regardless of your perception of how much control you have over your life, the amount of work you put into something is always within your control. The first step is to abandon the mindset that everything is left up to chance and, because of this, you should stop trying. You need to understand that you always have some level of power over your circumstances, even if you’ve been told otherwise:

Be more aware of the choices you make and realize there is always a choice to be made.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or guidance from those around you.

Spend time self-reflecting and trying to understand yourself better. Reflect on previous instances where you’ve felt a lack of control and write down what could have been done instead.

Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s an opportunity to learn.

Know the different types of motivation

Next, I want to talk about the different types of motivation and how they impact you.

There are 4 different types of motivation, each with their own distinctions:

Intrinsic motivation: This is where you do something because it aligns with your values or just because it’s fun. Although it’s good to have intrinsic motivation, this type is fragile and can be undermined when we start feeling like we’re losing autonomy over our choices.

Extrinsic motivation: This is what most people think of when they imagine motivation. It’s when our motivation comes from outside of us—we’re doing something for a reward or to avoid a punishment. It’s the opposite type of motivation that you should seek if you want to be self-driven.

Introjected: This type of motivation can create resentment or tension. We do something because if we don’t, we’ll feel shameful or guilty. For example, you might go to the gym not because you enjoy it or care about the health benefits, but because you feel guilty if you don’t work out.

Identified: The reason you’re doing something is because it aligns with your idealized self. It’s something that you’ve internalized to be important and allows you to behave in accordance with your self-concept and identity. This is the most important type because it creates habitual behaviors are no longer choices. We understand our identity and that certain habits and behaviors need to be done so that we’re constantly aligned with our higher selves. For example, you might regularly volunteer at a local shelter or organization because you’re someone who values compassion and community service.

So, how can we implement identified motivation more into our lives?

Really try and understand the reasoning behind a goal you want to achieve. Ask yourself “why do you actually want this thing?”. This is also a good time to review your values and whether or not your goal aligns with them.

Constantly remind yourself about why the outcome matters to you because we often forget the reason that we started in the first place. —ex.

Like James Clear said, make your goal, system, habit, or whatever you’re wanting to accomplish more motivating or fun. Beyond that, start associating the reward with the challenge itself. If you’re training for a marathon, instead of seeing the finish line as the only reward, find or fulfillment in the training process and the discipline you developed along the way.

Adopt a positive mindset. Rather than complaining about having to workout in the morning or studying for an exam, start saying “I get to study for this exam and further my education” or “I’m blessed to have a body that works for me and allows me to exercise”. It’s all about perspective and embracing gratitude. If you put half the energy that you use from complaining into figuring out how to take the next step, you’ll accomplish a lot more.

Don’t neglect your emotional and mental health

Slumps are very real, and mental health can impact every aspect of motivation. Self-improvement and changing your life aren’t easy journeys by any means, and there will be times when stress and feelings of being overwhelmed can paralyze you. In these moments, it’s critical to take a break, a breather, or anything that can help reset your mental health. Remember to engage in activities that support your emotional needs. Not every second of the day needs to be spent doing something productive or working toward your goals. It’s okay to take breaks and have rest days; in fact, I think it’s crucial.

Reward yourself often, even for the smallest achievements. It’s not about what you completed, but the fact that you completed something at all. Spend time acknowledging your accomplishments.

Take it one step at a time and remember no action is too small. Starting small is what helps us build consistency in the long run.

Embrace positive self-talk. Avoid talking yourself into a negative spiral, as it will only make you lose motivation and put you in a slump.

Get an accountability partner. Having someone in your corner who will cheer for you and keep you accountable is a game changer.

Stay motivated, stay grateful, stay resilient.

Love,

Luna<3

[worblewobble]

don't even know who you are who are you now? who are you now?

[soleminisanction]

So a while back I ran the numbers to confirm a suspicion that fandom trends towards a trans Tim Drake, and there's a lot of bits and pieces around his canon material that I think contributes to that interest. But there's a particular, subtle one that's been poking at my mind a lot because I think it might actually be a pretty significant factor that nobody really notices:

His costumes.

The original Robin costume, the one Dick and Jason wore, is childish but exposing. It's innocent enough when they're being drawn as spunky children, but during the period when Dick's still wearing it into his late teens and early 20s, it's practically as revealing as a lot of the women's costumes (and, in retrospect, almost certainly laid some of the groundwork for him sometimes being sexualized by the art and writing the way female characters normally are -- George Pérez, at least, absolutely put him on display every bit as much as he did Starfire and Donna).

Damian's costumes, meanwhile, lean more into archaic/fantasy armor designs and are thus largely genderless outside some vague allusions to the codename's Robin Hood roots. And Steph's is, well, a minidress, and one designed to show off her figure, drawing explicit attention to her femininity.

But then you have Tim's most iconic costume, his original one, which is not only fully covering in a way the original look isn't, it also, by virtue of being designed in the 90s, sports a very specific feature: molded body armor shaped to look like pectoral and abdominal muscles. In other words -- an idealized male body.

Not every artist always included that detail, but it was an explicit part of the design that you don't see as much these days, at least not for teen heroes. Which means it's inadvertently the perfect costume for a trans masculine Boy Wonder. It's got built-in body shaping. The cape and tunic layers even help to make his shoulders look wider.

Tim's second costume, the OYL later suit, doesn't explicitly have this body shaping element, but some artists still hint at it in the same way that Dick's Nightwing suits do (ie, we assume they're not showing off their real muscles with skintight suits for safety reasons, but who knows). Plus it comes with the bonus gay longing of changing the colors to mourn the dead crush he's too deep in the closet to recognize.

And then you've got his modern Robin look which has the same kind of shaping going on in a sleaker, more subtle way, though it can vary from artist to artist how much the red part of his suit is drawn as a breast plate vs. a part of the bodysuit.

As a bonus, the design also has a tendency to make him look lean and lithe, in an interesting contrast to Damian who, despite being physically smaller than Tim, tends to have a presence that makes him come across as stockier and more solid, possibly because he's more heavily armored.

You even see this with some of Tim'snon-Robin looks. I've mentioned this elsewhere but, the original Red Robin look making him look older when the cowl was up honestly makes a lot of sense. That suit was originally designed for a Dick Grayson who was pushing 60 to conceal the extent of his age while still communicating his maturity and development. It makes sense that it'd work the other way, to make 17 year old Tim look like he's in his late 20s/early 30s.

It's tunic over a body suit design is also just aesthetically pleasing in terms of forming an elegant male body type, the same way a well-cut suit can be. Again, it does especially nice things for the shoulders, which is why I personally prefer it to the fully bodysuit redesign they give him in the latter part of the series. Although as we can see from the details in Marcus To's art, even that body suit has seams strategically placed to suggest muscles.

And then of course there's the 2016 Rebirth era Red Robin costume, which is just a more heavily-armored version of his classic Robin look that's trying really hard to make him look masculine and mature, which means... exaggerated muscles.

And the thing is, it's not that this doesn't happen with other characters' costumes. But for various reasons it specifically didn't happen with the other Robin costumes, like I described at the start.

Which is not something I think people consciously notice. But I do know that, when I was writing my transmasc Tim fanfic a few years before realizing that I myself was also transmasc, one of the images that solidified the story for me was how good it would've felt the first time a transmasc Tim put on his new Robin costume and saw the Boy Wonder looking back at him. And I remember specifically thinking about how nice the shaped armor would be for that sort of thing.

It's kinda funny how an obvious attempt to enforce gender norms wound up, for lack of a better term, backfiring, at least in my opinion. There's just something about exaggerating the masculinity of Robin, a role designed to contrast and foil the already exaggerated masculine ideal of Batman, that makes it feel like a performance.

[aroaessidhe]

2025 reads / storygraph

Something Extraordinary

historical platonic-romcom

an aromantic woman tired of feeling unworthy when the people closest to her leave her behind for romance, and a gay man in unrequited love who is planning on giving up and marrying a woman in misery and drunkenness

she kidnaps him the day before the marriage to stop him ruining his life, suggesting that they get platonically married instead - and on the ridiculous journey to scotland to elope, they have to convince each other if it’s what is best for them, and what they want out of life/love/and friendship