#im too. devastated i can not process it

[my-thirteenth-reason]

nvm. hikarunara in the shower coulr fix me mr loverman by ricky montgomery also

[nerdie-faerie]

I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

[girlscience]

boy howdy, I am working myself into a full panic over this. if I get an hour of sleep tonight it will be a miracle.

[weirdlizard26]

im so genuinely devastated by the fact that i go back to class tomorrow its embarrassing dfkgjdd ive been completely out of it for. weeks????? i couldnt enjoy the second half of my break bc i never stopped thinking about having to go back to uni im just aughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ii-zi]

My heads a little odd it's like it was filled w water and it had a marble or something and everything I disturbe the water with sound or movement the marble thing goes crazy

[sparring-spirals]

normally i can process these big moments and sad moments by churning out like fifteen incoherent metas but im uh. not sure i have much. knowledge. or right to do that right now lmfao. HOWEVER. SORRY. bc i.

i really. i just. fcg with all their fears about going wrong, about being made wrong and never escaping that. an internal switch that means they always run the risk of hurting those they love.

they chose a god of choice, of chance, or change. They were so scared of things they couldnt control. so worried they'd never be anything more than what they were made for.

Made for destruction. Made for rage.

But they flip a coin one last time- made for destruction. Made for damage. Made for devastating damage from where you least expect it.

Maybe so. Maybe so.

So much of them that was made for destruction. So they grip a coin and choose, to make that a form of love too.

(Im mad they wanted so badly to martyr. im mad that it worked. im mad about clerics and suffering as value and i think there's so much to untangle- about being made and running from it, about striving for purpose, about bigger causes and about hopeless fights and about. if you have one last thing. if all options are bad.

if you love your friends, so much-

ooh im mad about it. mad at this fucking tin can full of magic and love and who might have had a ticking time bomb in their core, and chose to detonate whatever was in him anyway, because it would give everyone else a chance.

god. dammit.)

[exhaustedbunnytm]

I thought this doctor would be different…but no…

“have you tried anti-depressants?” - yes all of them. I have treatment resistant depression I have literally done almost fucking everything.

“are you sure you eat healthy? You don’t have too much sugar?” - no processed foods, i occasionally allow myself to indulge, i eat a diet planned by a nutritionist.

“are you sure it is not psychosomatic?” - my mental health is struggling because my body is declining and I am fucking exhausted all the time. I am struggling mentally because of my physical illness.

“have you tried a multi-vitamin?” - yes, and they make me feel like shit more. I still take other vitamins.

“Im not referring you, just so you can get opioids.” - i just want to see a rheumatologist and a pain and spine specialist…for my fucking pain, that I am in every day. I want a diagnosis and no pain.

*googles cfs and reads from the same document I have read* “have you tried meditation or yoga?” - go fuck yourself, you list yourself as a chronic illness specialist and you’re googling this shit. Meditation and yoga have never and will never work for me, I have tried so many times.

“you are completely healthy, you’ve been seen by everyone” - no I have not seen everyone, i need to see a rheumatologist, and a pain and spine specialist, and someone that will actually help me try to have a quality of life.

I have been striped of everything I enjoy, i am a shell of what I once was because my hands are always in pain, my joints are swollen. I am a fucking artist who hasn’t made art in 8 months because my hands hurt so much I can’t make work. I went from being in 8+ shows a year to not even being able to make work. This has been devastating to me, I have never not been able to make art in some form. I have lost a core part of me that I thought I would never lose.

Just because I look healthy on paper does not mean I am. It does not mean it is psychosomatic, my pain is real. This is real. It is not in my head…

[wen-kexing-apologist]

What are your top 5 “oh” moments. Like the moment that a character realizes that they are in love or that they realize another character is in love with them. ❤️

Ooo I love this question, and naturally the second I am presented with it I forget every single ‘oh’ moment that exists in all of media. And also I have watched too much of media so I forget a lot of things. I’m going to stick to BL because I didn’t really watch a lot of romance stuff before I found this genre and it’s fresher in my memory. 

Pat in Bad Buddy 

gif by @nick-nellson

My absolute favorite thing about the ‘oh’ moment in Bad Buddy for Pat is that Pat is someone that must act immediately. Pat does not sit on his feelings, he doesn’t mull them over, he doesn’t spend any time reflecting. He figures out that he likes Pran and then immediately seeks him out, immediately talks to him about how lonely he was without Pran when Pran transferred schools, immediately tells Pran his feelings. Pat and Pran are such good balances to each other. Pat’s family has always won, Ming has always won, Pat is not punished for interacting with Pran the way that Pran is. So Pran learned to quiet down, to hide, to keep things close to the chest. And he’s been harboring these feelings for Pat for so long without slipping up about it. But because Pat has never really experienced the severe consequences Pran has, he’s open, and honest, and expressive. 

I love love love love LOVE the sigh of relief, the utter bliss and joy that we see on Pat’s face when they pull away from their kiss, and you can tell that to Pat everything makes sense! It’s a relief, he understands his feelings, he’s let Pran know, Pran has responded in kind. And I love love love love LOVE Pran’s reaction to realizing Pat liked him back, the way he sets his jaw before he goes in for the second kiss, the way he can’t let himself have it, the way he knows he essentially signing a death warrant if he allows this for himself and his mother finds out. So he is devastated, he has to walk away from the moment. It’s such a phenomenal execution of an ‘oh’ moment. 

Im Han Tae in Sing My Crush 

gif by @smileytharn

Sing My Crush is probably my favorite offering I’ve seen out of Korea, I love it so much and for so many reasons. I love the level of comfortability and platonic intimacy that we get between Han Ba Ram and Im Han Tae from the jump. Those boys are so comfortable with each other, and though Han Ba Ram is a perpetually suffering homo being cuddled by his unrequited crush, the love and care they have for eachother is so palpable. What I love about the “oh” moment in Sing My Crush is that it really is simultaneously short and sweet and prolonged. In Episode 5, Han Ba Ram confesses his feelings to Im Han Tae, and we get Han Tae’s initial “huh?” reaction, that includes them dropping their held hands, and Han Tae has zero processing time before Ba Ram is telling him he is leaving and then running away. And I love that the second that Ba Ram is out of site and Han Tae has a moment to contemplate, he sits down, and he just stares at his hands. 

AND THEN WE GET THIS BEAUTIFUL MONTAGE THAT JUST REPLAYS ALL OF THESE MOMENTS OF INTIMACY BETWEEN BA RAM AND HAN TAE BUT HAN TAE IS RECONTEXTUALIZING THEM IN REAL TIME TO PROCESS HIS OWN FEELINGS FOR BA RAM. 

And then right after that we just a scene where Han Tae is just dissociating about it until he reaches a point of understanding and comfortabilty with it. And then…

Nothing. 

Han Tae and Ba Ram go right back to interacting like they usually do, and the confession just sits, and Han Tae is touching Ba Ram, is letting Ba Ram wrap his arms around him, is telling Ba Ram to lean on him. Han Tae is showing Ba Ram it is okay, he’s okay with this, at least with knowing that Ba Ram likes him. But Ba Ram is depressed, and he’s been hurt before, and I love the way Han Ba Ram and Im Han Tae are able to work through some of their own feelings in the boxing ring. And Han Ba Ram gets to devastate us all with the:  “Why is it so tiring to like someone? What did I do wrong?” 

Like, we know that Han Tae likes Ba Ram, but then he sits on it for an entire episode, until Ba Ram takes back his confession because of all the shit with that dickhead music teacher. And we get Ba Ram’s “oh, he likes me’ moment an entire episode later. I don’t know, I think it’s lovely. 

Nozue in Old Fashion Cupcake 

gif by @itachis

All I have to say is: Togawa, you poor fucker, I am so sorry for the agonizing torture Nozue unintentionally put you through by calling you hot, offering his body, and going out on dates with him when Nozue didn’t know you had a crush on him. Old Fashion Cupcake is nearly untouchable in it’s ‘oh’ moment. It’s handled so brilliantly, the rise in tension between them, the anxiety just radiating off of Nozue, the way all pretense from Nozue just falls away, the four minute continuous shot! 

Like, truly you when Togawa starts waxing poetic about how he’s got the spark for life because of Nozue and things start to click in to place for Nozue, and I love love love love love the build-up to the kiss, it’s peaceful and they are getting somewhere and then Togoawa gets the phone call and Nozue panics. Nozue starts making increasingly ridiculous, half-hearted, and obvious excuses to get the fuck out of Togawa’s apartment. The way Togawa grabs him? Incredible. But the response from Nozue throughout the kiss? It takes an incredibly strong actor to handle it the way that Nozue did. The utter confusion at the beginning, the gears turning in his head, trying to figure out how he fucking got here, while at the same time kissing back. GOD! So good! So so good!

Kiyoi in Utsukushii Kare, Season 2

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

This is a non-traditional ‘oh’ moment, because it isn’t a “oh i’m in love” or “oh I love him” moment at all. What it is is a “oh I’ve been mistaken” moment that is just absolutely brutal and heartbreaking. There is no doubt whatsoever that Kiyoi is in love with Hira, every fiber of Kiyoi’s being, every cell in that boy’s body loves Hira. But Hira has not loved Kiyoi, he’s been obsessed with Kiyoi, he’s glorified Kiyoi, he’s looked at Kiyoi as a god Hira should worship and serve. The way Yagi Yusei plays the moment that Kiyoi realizes that his understanding of his relationship with Hira is horrifically flawed. The way Kiyoi looks like he’s been slapped the second that Hira admits he isn't sure he wants to understand Kiyoi? It’s brilliant. “I’m sorry I like you” like???????? hello????????? 

Shiro, What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Again not a strictly traditional “oh” moment, because Kenji and Shiro have been in a relationship for eight years at this point, they love each other, even if Shiro is not the kind of person to say it. But man, I just…nothing brought me to tears faster than Shiro’s “oh, he really loves me and I really love him” moment in Season 2 when Kenji runs out to get onions because he threw the old ones out and Shiro needed one to make dinner. The contrast we have had throughout the episode with the flashbacks to Shiro’s last relationship that was extremely one sided and cold, to the bright, colorful, warmth of the current day, with Kenji. I will never recover from the line “I think I’ll use two chicken breasts tonight” while Shiro stands there with tears in his eyes, overwhelmed at the realization that he truly loved and cared for. 

Bonus: Invisible Oh Moment

Uea in Bed Friend

gif by @ueasking

I want to talk about Uea’s “oh” moment in Bed Friend because I don’t think there is any clear “oh” moment. The boy doesn’t run, he doesn’t confess, but there are a couple of points that stood out to me as Uea shifting how he thinks of King, Episode 4 is really the point of change. There are a ton of little moments throughout the episode where you can really see Uea start to soften towards King. We have the first chip in the armor when King [tells Uea he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way after Pock’s assault in the garage], the second chip when King treats his bruises so gently, the third when King brings the birthday cake. You can tell the morning after that Uea is no longer thinking of King as a bed friend, and even more over you get this incredible moment in Episode 6 right after their sex scene where it is so disgustingly obvious that King wants to ask Uea to be his boyfriend and that Uea would say yes without a moment’s hesitation. And that is why I didn’t want to leave it out of the list. Because honestly, I have not seen many shows in 2023 that used sex better than Bed Friend. Every single sexual encounter we got out of KingUea was followed by a shift in their relationship, and in a space where kink is rarely used or used poorly, I think it was vitally important that the kinky sex is what solidified Uea’s feelings for King. 

Bonus Bonus: Uh Oh moment 

Teh in I Told Sunset About You

gif by @mickeysarmyguy

I go absolutely feral for moments where characters finally give in to a desire and then are able to just like, pull the leash back, clamp their feelings down, and walk away. I cannot overstate the level to which I was impacted by the final scene in Episode 3 of ITSAY where Teh is scratching Oh’s back and smelling him. I do not think I breathed through that scene because of how oppressive the tension was between them. But the second that Teh grabbed Oh’s pecs and realized there weren’t breasts there and he just locks all his feelings behind bars is just…I don’t even have words. 

[bunglegaydogs]

i have just had a fucking devastating thought

it was just the thought that if dazai and chuuya were ever falling from a building or something, or say if something moriarty the patriot style happened, the only two options (once it was too late) for chuuya would be to save himself, or to save neither. there is literally no option to save dazai. in a mtp style situation, yeah, thats different.

but if they were both falling from a building/high place and were just falling?

chuuya literally only has two options.

on a surface level, only two.

save himself, or save nobody.

its like... symbolism for the two of them and this is devastating for two reasons: one, it means that chuuya is so selfless and loyal to a fault that his fight or flight responses are "me or everyone/nobody" like... does that make sense? he can die with dazai, or let dazai die alone. i dont know. I DONT KNOW. theres so much to unpack. and two: for dazai, it means that hes going to drag everyone down with him. nobody can even try to save him because its impossible to. its a reminder of how much of a "burden" dazai and his ability are (hes not lmao just what he probably thinks is what im saying) your only options are to fall with him, or leave him be, and dazais thought process would ofc be thinking that everyone would choose the latter, conflicting with chuuyas loyalty and compassionate nature to choose the former.

its such a dumb thought i know and i cant articulate it very well but i just thought about it and i got so sad lmao

its a bit incoherent, and oh boy do i have so much more to say on this topic now that its in my brain

[yourpsicodelicbitch]

astro observations that i founded in my notes

*birth chart placements

Picture from Pinterest

taurus moon: they’re so CALM and so comforting. my histrionic energy 🤪 at first didn’t understand but just accept it. Sometimes I have the urge to smack them or shake their shoulders so they can “wake up”. They seem high, in a way they seem to accept things as how they come -but I really doubt it- (it’ll resonate more on the ones with mercury 12H at pisces degree) -I only know them for like 2 weeks-. THEY LOOK SO FUCKING COMFORTABLE OR CALM. When they’re panicking they don’t rise their voice BUT I’ve seen another taurus moon with a lot of cancer and Leo placements that’s the total opposite - I wanted to point it out bc it surprised me how tf they look so in tune with everything but at the same time their expression say otherwise-. UPDATE: she left. And that makes me wanna point out another thing. (she also has a pisces rising) —->

Pisces risings ALWAYS -idk how to bring this up- make their actions seem irresponsable or the situations they go trough are really unexpected. The other day, out of nowhere, a friend disappeared and told me she wasn’t going to stay. She didn’t specified anything. Too suden. They act or -I want to believe- their life makes them take decisions that can seem irresponsable, impulsive or egoist. I knew her for fourth weeks and then she disappeared, not specifying what was the situation. Everyone was asking me what happened and she left me the weight? the responsibility of telling everyone something I couldn’t tell (bc she told me it was a secret and I didn’t told them exactly). My ex best friend is a pisces rising and he always made decisions that affected not only him but their loved ones in a devastating way. He always passed the barrier of limits only bc he wanted and he could. He knew how much weight the situations held and even knowing that he minimized them. I’m not saying every pisces rising is like that. BC THEYRE NOT. Don’t generalize or take my observation as a way of justifying others actions. It’s complex. That’s based on what I observed, it’s completely subjective. So pls don’t take advantage of this and benefit yourself to hate on others. UPDATE: She changed careers, to major in communication to medicine. THAT’S A WHOLE CHANGE. SHE JUST TOLD ME. (with majority of air elements)

I’ve noticed that pisces risings are always questioning if they look good physically. They ask “Do I look good?” and if you say yes, they’ll be like “What do you mean that I look good? Specify. Do I look good meh or do I look good good?”

If you order an Aquarius and Capricorn prominent person, they will not do what you ordered them. They don’t like to be told what to do, to not be able to process and question that order and simply bc you’re telling them what to do, you’re demanding them. They only can do THAT -order people-, if you’re not informed 🙄

oN tHE otHeR hAnD, if you order a Sagittarius prominent person to do something, they will not do it but not bc they’re mad at you, like the case of Saturn rulers. No, they’ll not do it. They’ll joke about it and ignore it bc they don’t feel free, to not be allowed or able to choose. And the most important thing: bc they can.

The life of people with Venus 7H turns around relationships, romantic relationships? A really lovely friend I have always suffer bc he gives too much of his energy on relationships, friendship, every type/aspect. He came out of his almost 2 years relationship -he was very mature about it, also he was really broken when it happened obviously but he knew how to overcome it and im proud of him 😭-, now, time have passed but not too much -I’m not judging him. I didn’t thought about it till now, 3-2 months😟🤪😚- and he already told me he is starting to like someone and that he kissed her and I’m proud of him BUT HOW TF YOU LIKE SOMEONE SO EASILY AND START SOMETHING WITH SOMEONE IN A ROMANTIC PURE WAY. IM LITERALLY SAYING ROMANTIC BC HES REALLY LEAL, ALWAYS THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT THEIR PARTNER/LOVED ONES ETC. I FUCKING BLOCK ALL MY FEELINGS LIKE HOW DO YOU ENTER A SOMETHING SMOOTHLY WITHOUT KILLING YOURSELF THINKING THAT YOU CANT HAVE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION OR AAAAAAA

I think I know why my friend with scorpio moon don’t like my other friend with moon and mercury 12H. Scorpio always likes to control the situation, what’s happening, to know everything and to everyone to know nothing but what they want others to know -except for their loved ones?no-. 12H is synonym of “hidden”, they always hide something…-traumatic- that a scorpio may find it often uncomfortable. Why? They don’t know what’s happening easily, they know the other is hiding something. They can’t control it. They have to make an effort. They don’t like when people on purpose hide something. Scorpio moons are intuitive ASF. They don’t like your fake smile. My scorpio moon friend told me “I don’t like her. She hides something” and yes, my mercury/moon 12H friend does. She is always smiling and daydreaming, she’s not direct. She told me about her past situations that were certainly traumatic, there were a lot of changes in her life and my scorpio moon friend knows she hides THAT something.

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❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer, I just love astrology and I’m willing to learn.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[shadebloopnik]

"The only thing more painful than watching you fall, is watching you lose hope."

Lets all pretend that I drew these consistently for a second. This is the first time I actually seriously made some sort pf a comic strip and am honestly a bit happy with it lmao (even tho that last Alastor leaves much to be desired, i cannot with the angle i chose). Angelic Alastor AU details and better taken pics of each scene under the cuttt

Man im actually taking this AU sht seriously huh- here we goooo

So AU summary, Alastor's an angel, though he's always been an odd sort and looked different from the other angels. His name is still Alastor, though he is also known by his title, Altruist. As time went on, it was the name nearly everyone knew him by.

He was close with Lucifer, who both admired each other's fantastical ideas, and oddity from the others. He was closely involved with Lucifer and Lilith, helping keep their relationship a secret. He was devastated when they both fell, having managed to keep his own involvement hidden(after countless pleading from the two to keep himself safe). Im a radioapple addict by heart lmao, but this is gearing more towards a poly between the three of them. Alastor was quite slow in processing his feelings for the two, even with Lucifer having already harbored feelings for him for ages, and Lilith being pretty forward.

After a couple events and other drama and detailsss, Alastor arrives at the Hazbin Hotel after he heard about Charlie. He sees her like a daughter, and it hurt him to know that Lucifer and Lilith left her behind in such a manner. He still doesn't believe in redemption(he's an angel, he knows those fuckers), but he still supports Charlie anyway he could. He still acts super creepy and all, but has good intentions. He lives a somewhat double life, juggling his appearance between being Altruist in Heaven and Alastor in Hell.

Lucifer, Lilith and Alastor, though initially had a rather stable relationship(as stable as you can get with one of them constantly smuggling himself into hell), had a bit of a falling out. Lucifer lost hope and motivation for everything, something that broke all their hearts. Lilith was a bit more fierce, wanting to take more action. Alastor was a sort of a mix between the two. He was cautious, and preferred to lie in wait, but wasn't as far gone as Lucifer.

Its why when Lucifer found out about his involvement with the hotel, he was absolutely furious. He didn't want Alastor to give their daughter false hope, didn't want her to reach for the stars only to fall back down, burned. He's too broken, and the idea that Alastor, someone who should KNOW how dangerous hoping was, setting Charlie up for pain, it hurt.

Basically sad old men lol

[tempvstas]

Hello! Can I request Malleus breaking up with his s/o for their own safety? (He's scared he'll hurt them after putting them under a sleeping curse during his over blot and risking their life)

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Content Warning(s): angst

Character(s): GN!Reader(no pronouns mentioned), Malleus Draconia

Authors Notes: I AM NOT DEAD I SWEAR YOU GUYS, I HAVE MORE FREE TIME NOW SO IM GONNA TRY AND CLEAR UP REQUESTS SO I CAN REOPEN THE ASK BOX

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Things Are Better Off This Way

"From this day forward, I believe the best course of action for the two of us would be to break off our relationship. It's better this way."

Your mouth is agape as you stare at him, completely at a loss for words. You stand there in silence, your eyes wide as you try to process his words. You search his face for any hints but find none, seeing as his face is devoid of any emotions. It scares you with how blank his face seems. "Malleus, I don't understand, what brought this on. You can't just say that without giving a reason." You reach out to him wanting to feel him against you, but Malleus pulls away from you, almost as if he was frightened of you getting too close to him.

"Malleus...?" your voice trails off and you feel your heart ache. Feeling hurt you withdraw your hands back in placing them by your sides. "Why...? What brought this on?" you whisper softly, feeling tears threaten to spill out, and you find yourself, looking away from him. A flicker of emotion flashes across Malleus' face but it's gone as quickly as it came.

Malleus inhales sharply before letting out a long sigh, trying to formulate the correct wording. "...During the duration of my overblot, I sent everyone into a forced slumber to ensure that Lilia would not leave, and in doing so hurt many in the process....you included. Seeing as how my actions had such a devastating effect on everyone, I won't risk hurting you or anyone else anymore."

Hearing his words, your gaze softens, "Malleus-" you take a step towards him but again he moves away from you, further this time to establish distance between the two of you. You felt as though a knife was being driven into your chest where your heart is, pushing it in and twisting it, making this exchange all the more painful.

"It would be best if you stayed away from me." You wanted to speak up, to yell at him, to tell him he was out of his mind, to tell him that what he was saying was completely crazy. You tried to speak but you couldn't, no words would form. All you could do was stand there, rooted to the floor. There's a moment of silence, the two of you standing there neither of you saying a word.

It's only broken by Malleus clearing his throat to alleviate the sudden tension in the air. "That is all I had to say, so I should be off. And as should you..." You don't look up from the spot your gaze is fixed, refusing to look at him, lest the tears make their way down your face.

You turn away from him, taking a few shaky steps forward. Your legs wobble as you collapse, your hands scraping painfully as they made contact with the floor. You hear Malleus make his way over to you quickly and you sense his hand reaching out to help you up, but you quickly shoot your hand up effectively stopping him in his tracks. You bite your lip to stem the flow of tears steadily making their way down your face as you get up and make your way to the entrance of Ramshackle. With one final look behind you at the somewhat dumbstruck Malleus, you slam the door shut behind you not wanting to see him.

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[iluvpinkkk]

I’m sorry my beautiful boy…

Scaramouche x fem!reader angst

(I was reading angst stories so i decided to write one too😊)

He should have know… he should have noticed it sooner… but he’s now to late.. now he has to see his first love being buried, he can’t take this pain anymore so he walked away from the funeral, he hated himself, even disgusted with himself for ever cheating on his first love.. if only she had told him sooner he would have helped instead of making her live through hell…

“Jeez can’t you even do anything properly” he said in a annoyed tone, as he looks down at you while you try to clean up the food you had accidentally spilled due to your hand shaking. “Sorry scara” you said in a soft tone

“Whatever I’m going out don’t wait for me oh and don’t call or text” he said as he got ready to leave. “Where are you going?” You asked. “Mind your own business” he said in a annoyed tone as he walked out

After a few months your condition as gotten worse.

Scaramouche looked at you in disgust as he saw you on the ground with food spilled on you. “I’m s-sorry scara I tried to hold on it tight but I-“ you get cut off by scara. “Fucking save it, jeez you really are pathetic, no wonder you were single for a while and for being known as the weird girl” he said in a disgusted tone.

“Anyways I been wanting to tell you I found someone new so I wanna break up with you,I’ll be moving out of this place in a week” he said and walked out of the place. You just stayed there on the floor processing the word he just told you

After a week he moved out and fully started dating the girl he cheated on you with and moved in with her, you just smiled after you waved goodbye to him as you thought it was for the best as you would be gone… unfortunately you had to go to the hospital but you had no one to call as your friends are out of town and your parents live in another country so you had to call your ex boyfriend. He eventually accepted so he told yuki that he was going somewhere, yuki tried to ask where but he just told her it was a family emergency

At the hospital you were getting your stuff ready to leave as the doctor told you that it was best for you to do the things you love as you only had a few months left. Scaramouche was devastated to find out the truth… he refused to believe it… but unfortunately he can’t do anything but to watch you slowly leave this world. He made it his mission to try and give you the best memories during these few months left

“Scara you don’t have to come with me I can go alone” you said with a smile. “Yuki will get mad if she found out you’re still hanging out with your ex” you said while looking at the cherry blossom you loved. He hates how you said ex. But he knew it was the truth your not his girlfriend anymore your not his anymore still he refused to believe it. “I told her I was at a family only dinner don’t worry about anything” he said with a soft tone a tone he never use with you as he kiss the top of your head

He should have let you take those pictures you wanted to take the moment you started dating, he should have let you record your guys dates. So he decided to take videos and pictures on his own to have something to remember you. He thought to himself how beautiful you looked while the wind blew….

Now it was your last day.. he was devastated he refused to let you go. “Y/n pls don’t leave me!! Come on love you have to stay strong what- what about the dream we both had!!” He cried out as he hold onto your hand. “I’m s-sorry scara I tried but now I have to go, p-plus you have yuki you can have to dreams with her” you said as you tried your best to stay awake

“No no no I don’t want yuki to fulfill those dreams I want us to fulfill it pls don’t leave me!!” He sobbed and and lay on the the bed with you to hold you close.

“Im tired but pls don’t forget us…pls fulfill our dream for me..don’t forget i love you scara. I’ll only be a dream now” you said in a low tone as your eyes slowly start closing

“I’m sorry my beautiful boy,I’m sorry for having to leave you but now I have to go, pls don’t forget our promise…” you said in a tired tone as now your eyes close. “I will my sweet girl, I’ll fulfill our dream even if I have to fulfill it with another girl, now rest my love I won’t forget you…” he said as he closes his eyes and cries silently as he hold you close

[fortuneravine]

Tell me about each of your PMD teams!

OH BOY ok okok

starting off with team obsidian (explorers of sky)

Mistral is. complicated. for starters i have played as her in rescue team, explorers, And super because at the time they were kinda just. me. less of an oc and more just my self insert (i actually changed their name because her old name is. just my name now)

but lately i've wanted her to be her own character and not me in totodile form so i'm kinda in the process of redoing everything about them.

Cinder i can say more about! they are a disaster. an absolute mess. sopping wet kitten born in a cardboard box all alone. she's wanted to be an explorer since she was little, but being a huge coward kinda got in the way of that. they got that scar on their chest when they went into a dungeon alone and it scared them away from exploring for a long time. it wasn't until she met mistral that she started to get her confidence back and they're much calmer and less afraid of everything nowadays!

now rescue team. i played as mistral again in my first pmddx playthough along with a cubone partner but. i have kinda replaced them as my Main pmd1 team with these guys. oops.

campfire are much more developed characters anyways so im gonna talk about them!

fig (she/any) is very quiet, as are basically all of my heroes because my selectively mute ass keeps latching onto silent protagonists. she's definitely the one i've given the not talking trait to the most though. chive is extremely extroverted and chatty so she handles all the talking. others tend to see them as closed off or mysterious because they can't get a good read on her. they're really sweet though

chive's main gimmick is she likes cooking! will probably settle down and open a little cafe once she's done with the rescue team business. likes to experiment with random berries and nuts she finds (fig keeps joking she's going to poison herself, but she owns like 3 different foraging guides, she knows what she's doing.)

next is team hydra! their ref is old and i need to redo it so here's one of my heropartnerweek pieces badly cropped. their names are Ceru (she/xe) and Olivine (he/they)

it turns out i lied when i said all my heroes are quiet ceru is actually pretty outgoing. still the more introverted of the duo but mainly because olivine is a people pleaser extraordinaire. she actually had a pretty boring life as a human and is a lot happier as a pokemon. she was Devastated about returning to the human world, mostly because xe didn't want to leave xyr friends, partially because oh come on it's so much cooler here i don't wanna go back to working retail

olivine, as i said, is a people pleaser, often to his detriment. he's always prioritizing other pokemon's happiness, even when it's at the cost of his own. they get better at this over time (ceru helps him a lot with learning to say No). he and ceru are inseparable besties. they're like a comedy duo. 2 things have olivine's undying commitment, his friends and The Bit

finally. super. again i already talked about mistral so here is Basil.

honestly? i feel like they don't have much of my own spin. pmsd partner is already a perfect character. they are so full of love. they love making others smile and they're maybe a little too enthusiastic about it. they tend to come off as overly friendly at best or annoying at worst. before meeting mistral they were pretty lonely despite trying so hard to make friends. they're very happy to finally have a real close friend who likes them how they are

this ended up a little rambly!! oops!! but there's my guys hope you like em :)

[doumadono]

EMERGENCY REQUEST

(i put this in when your tumblr was banned so idk if you saw it)

i have a friend who recently took his life. he was very close to me and none of us were expecting it. could you do bf!bakugo comforting f!reader? i wont go into specifics about our friend, but he was 16. :( (im 19, a mentor of his.)

A/N: hiya, dear Anonnie. I did receive your request earlier, but I couldn't fulfill it immediately due to the ban. I want to apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. I'm truly sorry to hear about your friend. Losing someone in such a way can be incredibly challenging and painful. It's important to allow yourself the time to grieve and process your emotions. Remember that it's okay to feel a wide range of emotions, from shock and anger to sadness and confusion. Please know that I'm here for you, and I'm willing to listen or offer support in any way you need

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

The news had hit like a thunderbolt, leaving Katsuki Bakugo and his girlfriend in a state of shock. Their close friend had taken his own life, leaving behind a gaping void in their lives. Katsuki knew he had to be there for her, to offer solace in the face of the devastating storm of emotions that had engulfed her.

Katsuki watched as his girlfriend sat on the edge of their bed, her tears falling freely. Her sobs echoed through the room, a painful reminder of the anguish she was experiencing. Slowly, he approached her, his heart aching at the sight of her pain.

He reached out to touch her shoulder, but she flinched away. Her sorrow and anger were like a wall, blocking out any attempts at comfort. "Leave me alone, Kats!"

Katsuki's temper flared, and he briefly turned away, his own emotions a tumultuous mix of anger, frustration, and sadness. But then he paused, understanding that his anger wouldn't help. He knew this wasn't about him. It was about her inner pain and the unbearable loss she was grappling with, just as he was. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, and turned back to her. "Look, I get it," Katsuki began, his voice softer, more tender. "I know you're hurting, and you have every right to be angry and upset. But I'm here, and I'm not leaving you alone in this mess, princess."

His words seemed to cut through the haze of her pain, and she glanced up at him, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. "I don't know what to do, Katsuki," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I can't stop the pain, and I can't make sense of any of this."

Katsuki took her hand, his touch gentle but firm. "You don't have to do this alone," he said. "We'll figure it out together. Let me in, and let me help you."

She nodded, and slowly, hesitantly, she allowed him to pull her into his arms after he took seat by her side. Katsuki held her tightly, his warmth and strength a balm for her raw emotions. They sat there in silence for a while, the only sound being her occasional sniffles and his steady heartbeat.

"Get it all out," he encouraged. "Scream if you need to."

As her cries and screams echoed through the room, she finally found the words to express the turmoil within her. "I feel lost, Katsuki," she choked out between sobs. "I feel angry, and I feel guilty. I don't understand why he did this, and it's tearing me apart. Why didn't he talk to me? Why couldn't I help him?!"

Katsuki listened, his heart breaking for her. He held her even tighter, allowing her to let it all out. "You did nothing wrong," he said. "You couldn't have known. It's not your fault, none of this is."

Her screams turned into desperate cries, and she clung to Katsuki as if he were her lifeline. "It hurts so much!!!"

Katsuki let a single tear stream down his cheek, his voice deep and heavy with emotion. "I feel it too," he admitted, his voice trembling. "I feel responsible for not doing enough, for not seeing it coming. But dammit, it won't change a goddamn thing, princess. I want you to know something. Time will help you heal. The wound may never fully close, but it'll scab over, and it'll hurt a little less with each passing day. And no one is ever truly gone as long as we keep them in our hearts and minds."

Bakugo held her at arm's length, locking his gaze with hers. "Our friend will always be a part of us, a part of our memories, and in the way we live our lives. We'll keep him alive in our hearts, and that way, he'll never truly be gone."

Tears welled up in her eyes once more, but this time, they were not tears of despair. They were tears of acceptance, of understanding, and of the beginning of the healing process.

Katsuki wiped them away gently. "I promise, we'll get through this together." Katsuki kissed her forehead, his lips warm and reassuring. "You don't have to do it alone. I'm right here, with you, every step of the way."

As the night wore on, Katsuki continued to hold her, whispering words of comfort and reassurance. He was her rock in the storm, unwavering and unyielding, providing the support she so desperately needed. And as the hours passed, she finally cried herself to sleep, cradled in his secure embrace.

In the midst of their shared grief, Katsuki had found a way to offer her the comfort she needed, understanding that her emotions were a turbulent sea that he couldn't control but was determined to navigate with her. Together, they would find their way through the darkness, one step at a time.

[sparring-spirals]

I got to say I really liked the episode (despite only having watched exu calamity of the exu series) and I think maybe Matt needed a breather after so many fast paced, lore filled episodes.

however, I am kinda bummed that the fcg processing has been put on hold for (at least) two weeks now and that means that, despite them being great actors that truly merge with their characters at the table, their reactions will be much less raw and there’s a chance some of them will forget tidbits of information, emotions they felt when it happened because they (as role players) will have had time to process it out of the game and it might create a dissonance in the game. tbf I kind of felt the difference even between the end of ep 91 and the beginning of 92 but it made sense because technically they were still running and couldn’t afford to process. idk. I have hope that we’ll still see that raw emotion, but I fear it won’t be as impactful as it could’ve been, especially if they’ll have to put the “reporting for duty” hat on immediately when they get to the camp

I think being a little bummed about the sort of unexpected hiatus on the Bell's Hells/Post F.C.G processing is super understandable! As someone who also really did enjoy the Crownskeepers return (hello im still yelling about Opal internally), I'm kind of in the same camp of being kind of thrown/disappointed about not getting to really dig into/sit with the Bell's Hells post-F.C.G loss. Like, LOVED the Crownkeepers, fascinating second half, kind of meh on the specific timing.

I'm holding my reservations about whether they're going to have to keep running/moving once we return to their portion of the story, since hey, until it happens (or doesn't!), we don't know, so I don't feel like getting too in my head about it until then.

That said! I do think that in general the cast puts characterization and staying true to the emotions of the character/story as a very high priority within the campaign. I think you're right that it won't be the exact same as if they had done a big emotional blowup/goodbye/processing scene in the same ep where they lost F.C.G, or immediately after. I don't think that means it has to be less impactful, just that- yeah, they'll have had more time to actually think/process it.

But they're also all professional voice actors who have, IMO, thus far shown how much they think about the inner lives of their characters and enjoy really digging deep into the emotional/interpersonal aspects of roleplay.

My assumption (my hope?) is that with additional time to think about + process a devastating/deeply emotional loss for their character(s), they'd choose to lean into that more, and not less. It wont be the same as the immediate raw reactions, thats true! But i dont think that means it has to be less impactful, even if they (as people) have had more time to process, and will be choosing how their characters, fresh off the loss, react. I dont think thats a guarantee it will be less impactful/emotional (maybe the additional thinking would actually enhance the reactions being true/insightful to the characters vs gut reactions from cast), but it will be different.

But if the cast chooses to lean into the heartbreak/emotions, and the circumstances of the BH in the upcoming ep enable it, I'm sure they can still kick my ass (emotionally), timeskip or not.

In general, I'm cautiously optimistic about what could happen next! Even if I don't love the timing thus far. I think there's still plenty of ways for me to get what I'm hoping for wrt F.C.G/BH. :] There are plenty of ways for me to get let down too, probably, but until it happens, or doesn't, I'm opting to not get too doomery about it. We'll see.

I uh. Hope that helps? A bit? Being bummed about specific things you were hoping for being off the table is totally reasonable. just hoping to lend an alternate way of viewing it, if desired.

(i wrote the sentence: "don't be lamenting your chickens before they hatch" and then went "what the fuck" out loud. i spent 4 hours at work today just doing systems diagramming and my brain is fried. clearly. keeping this here for my own entertainment.)