#incorrect cdd

[incorrectcooldojidanshi]

[shun and souma, sitting in jail] souma: so, who should we call? shun: i'd call big sis, but i feel safer in jail

[ecos-syscourse]

we find the idea that nondisordered = endogenic and CDD = traumagenic rlly stupid and close Tumblr in pure disappointment every single time we see it

[bone-fanfiction]

literally watching a discussion in a discord server just sobbing and going “you people are so fucking stupid” ohhh my god

[interstellarsystem]

We're obviously pro-endo and have a lot of headmates who are endogenic, but we do have DID and a lot of trauma worked its way into our formation of our system. Which leaves us in a pretty weird spot in syscourse!

But one of the weirdest things we've noticed is... A lot of the anti endo mindset is completely anti recovery for CDD systems entirely, while claiming to protect them. Often there's the sort of ableist rhetoric that's all about "if you're not suffering, you're not disordered and therefore mocking us or fake".. Which is ridiculous to say the least!

We've seen claims of:

Systems are fake if they're happy they're a system, because if you're happy you're a system then you can't have been traumatised enough to get there.

Systems are fake if they love their headmates in any way, because plurality is a disorder.

Systems are fake if they post "too much" about being happy online, because being plural is a disorder and therefore suffering.

Systems are fake if they never show signs of suffering online.

Systems are fake if they're open about being a system IRL or sometimes at all, because it's a deeply shameful thing.

Systems are fake if they have less amnesia than full-on blackout amnesia, because it's in the DSM.

Systems are fake if they don't dissociate much, because it's in the name of the disorder and the DSM.

And we're here to say that's all plainly incorrect at best. It's also incredibly ableist, anti-recovery and downright harmful to CDD systems who learn they have this disorder, go online for support, and just see discourse and people getting fakeclaimed if they don't show of how much they're suffering online.

Systems can be happy that they're plural. Even if it came from trauma. Why? Well you can be happy that you're any way you are, regardless of how you got there, obviously. But there's also a crucial point here that CDDs and headmates often develop to protect people from trauma. Of course some systems would be glad that they're plural, in a lot of cases it's what literally saved their lives. This goes for the "systems can't love their headmates" thing too--plenty of systems are full of love for their headmates! Not only because they were there for them when it was needed, but because these are--depending on your view--entire people you live with, or parts of yourself. Why are you implying you have to hate that so viscerally to be real?

It's also a pretty well known thing that people tend to post their happier moments online, leading to this perception that they don't suffer. One, because that's how a lot of people work--their personal pages are public after all, and they don't want to be seen as constistently struggling. Two, it's downright dangerous to post in so much detail about your triggers, your trauma and abuse you're currently facing on the internet--even ignoring the fact that you need to be wary of your digital footprint, people can read these posts and use information against you. It's a choice many people make to not hand random people ammo on a silver plate.

Claiming that systems are fake if they're open about being plural in any space is simply ablesim. We've seen this take quite a few times, actually, and it never fails to be some of the most ridiculous ableism we've seen--it comes with a puritan "sweep it under the rug" mindset and the expectation that systems are ashamed of their plurality by default, or that it's simply too dangerous to share. While for a lot of people it is very dangerous to talk about their system so they simply keep that information to themselves, claiming every system should hide it for their entire lives and not expect to be received with kindness, compassion or accommodation is horrible.

As for the amnesia and dissociation... Therapy can help with these! You can actively go to therapy and get strategies to deal with the symptoms that come with a CDD without even going down the final fusion route! You can get it to a point where you have communication with your headmates, where you can switch on command, where you don't dissociate much at all.... You can work toward these goals with the right tools! Why does a system like us who's worked through years of therapy and years of working with ourselves within our own system suddenly get called fake once we start healing?

CDD systems should not have to fit what YOU think a true system should look like. They shouldn't have to suffer on show for you to believe them. They shouldn't have to hide all of themselves away in shame and never have their true selves known. They shouldn't have to pretend they're not recovering to be treated as real. They shouldn't have to feel like they'll be persecuted for simply being happy with who they are as people, or happy with how far they've come.

"Being a system isn't all fun and games" and I'm sure it's not for plenty of people. But do you think it's ok when a CDD system says they love themselves and think their system is fun? Or do you group them in with the endogenics who are "mocking [your] trauma"? Do you really care about people with CDDs at all in that case?

You can say "anti endos aren't ableist because endogenic plurality isn't a disorder" all you like--you're wrong about endogenics not being able to have CDDs by the way, but that's another post--but when you display so much ableist rhetoric toward your fellow CDD systems, I don't know how anyone can see you as "protecting" those with the disorders at all. You can't hide your hatred behind the guise of "protection" when you're harming your own community. You're not protecting us from anyone, you're trying to make us fit into a box full of spikes. It was never about protecting trauma survivors, it was about your personal hatred for others. We shouldn't have to suffer for you.

[sovereignsystem]

non disorder systems aren’t going into cdd spaces. We have shared spaces. Also we’re going to use the terms that describe our experience. We’re systems, and we have alters.

(EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER)

Try again, mate. You and your ntg buddies are ableist. If you can't handle being labeled as that, don't label yourselves as something you're not.

You are not systems, you do not have alters because those are medical terms used to describe disorders caused by trauma. Which you claim you don't have.

You ARE invading our spaces, otherwise we wouldn't have to deal with the headache of seeing your uneducated, toxic-positivity, misinformation bullshit. We never consented to shared spaces!!!! You just keep coming back!!!

But unfortunately for all of us, you lot can't have the common sense and decency to respect the boundaries of literal trauma survivors, so yeah.

"We're going to use the terms that describe our experience" I'm going to dislocate your wrist when I say this; make new fucking terms! Literally no would would care if you used non-medical terms as long as you stayed in your own spaces and didn't constantly imply that your experiences and ours are the same.

- 🧟‍♂️ (he/him)

- 🐙 (he/krak/voi)

[scarlet97531]

I just saw this on reddit and wanted to share

Anyone claiming that endogenic and pro endogenic systems are spreading misinformation more than other people have not spent enough time around inclusive plural communities. I see posts like this a lot in the plural subreddit, it’s pretty common for new people to come in with misinformation or just being uninformed, and when they ask about it or say something incorrect they get friendly corrections. I genuinely see way less misinformation in inclusive communities than exclusive communities.

I’ve literally had anti endos claiming that learning to control switches is a bad thing, that different alters can’t have different disorders (like depression or personality disorders), and a lot of internalized plural phobia, believing that being a system is inherently a horrible thing and has only ever hurt them, which is just so unhealthy.

Every community is capable of spreading misinformation and you will see examples of that happening no matter where you go. Endogenic systems and their supporters are not a uniquely horrible source of misinformation, most of the community is well educated and happy to give information about CDDs without invalidating people that have different experiences.

[system-of-a-feather]

Thoughts on Anti-Endo Rhetoric and Pro-Functional Multiplicity Values

This isn't meant to be a callout post or a "gotcha" or anything hostile at all; it's really meant to be me pointing out a logical inconsistency I don't really get within the anti-endo perspective of things, because as someone who was once anti-endo and is now pro-endo (in the definition of "Endos are fine and I support them existing without harassment")

But I don't understand how you can both be anti-endo and support the practice and idea of Functional Multiplicity?

The idea of anti-endos is that one can't choose to be Plural, that someone can't become Plural, and that to be Plural you have to have dissociation and thus also have trauma.

But with that line of thought, what happens when a system with DID recovers to the point of having no dissociation?

If dissociation is required for plurality, under that logic, then can anyone who reaches functional multiplicity with a CDD truly call themselves healed? If so, are we really comfortable saying that functional multiplicity isn't a real or true form of healing?

Or alternatively, if we say that it is still a valid form of recovery / healing because PTSD symptoms are gone and the dissociation is still their albeit non-disruptive, are we going to just ignore the people who have recovered, gained functional multiplicity and claim to not have dissociation?

In that case, are we comfortable saying that people who have spent years in therapy working with their CDD don't know what dissociation is and what they feel and are incorrect in understanding their experiences?

If dissociation is required for plurality, under that logic, would recovery and the remission of dissociation require fusion into one whole? Because if plurality and dissociation are inherently tied and required, then should it not be possible to have plural experiences without dissociation? Thus if dissociation goes, then shouldn't everyone automatically fuse and cease to experience plurality?

I'm not asking this to play "gotcha" games with anti-endos, I'm asking it genuinely because honestly, these were things I really had to question as I recovered, hit functional multiplicity, final fusion, and then decided to choose to operate as plural whenever I felt like it and as a single fused whole at other times.

These questions are unironically a large reason I became heavily pro-endo (again in the "let them be, theyre not harming anyone and I think they should be allowed to be themselves" way, I still dont know much about endos as a community or subculture or whatever you want to label it). I've had these questions and thoughts for at least two or three years now, but I've never mentioned them on the account I didn't feel like I knew how to word it in a way that wasn't inflammatory in nature until now.

I could not rationalize how the trajectory of my recovery, my eventual reaching of functional multiplicity, my achieving of final fusion, and then my decision to still be plural could live side by side with my anti-endo then syscourse-neutral stance. I could not rationalize or find a genuinely good way to make both my experiences and my own actions to stay consistent with any real gripes or doubts I had about endogenic systems and created systemhood.

I guess one could say that people who had a CDD and recovered can do that because "system" is a CDD term and they have a right to that term, which to that I guess we can agree to disagree. I don't think system is a word people with CDDs own, even more so for the word "plural" and that disagreement hinges on that. If that's your stance, then feel free to just ignore this post because I'm not really interested in discussing semantics and word ownership right now, this post is just about opening discussion for people that do make the claim that dissociation is inherent to plurality and how their stance with that aligns with their views of Functional Multiplicity.

Also this is a judgement free and respectful space for BOTH opinion sides. If you are going to be mean or nasty to people in this conversation, also please leave this post alone.

I'd like anyone who would like to argue and debate and prove their point right to DNI with this post.

[chaos-in-one]

Sometimes I think about talking more about the spiritual aspect of my system/plurality (because quite frankly it feels a lot more enjoyable and less potentially endangering than talking about system stuff related to my CDD, because of the fact that with that, my trauma heavily influences every part of my system as a CDD system, so sharing much on it just feels like giving too much away about my trauma. Which, you know, gives way too much room for people to figure out how to hurt me with it.)

Then I am reminded over and over how many people can't even be normal about many of my experiences as a CDD system that do fit into strictly medical and/or already studied aspects of the disorder

(Examples for reference: People trying to tell me the way I handle or work on managing symptoms of my CDD is incorrect, or that I'm being "anti recovery" for seeing/working on it a different way from then even though I've been in therapy for years and have discussed the topic with my therapist already explicitly to make sure I'm NOT hurting my own ability to recover. People trying to debate the validity of my symptoms and how they present even when it fits into experiences that have been studied already.)

[chompy-jester]

Another weird thing I hear used against those in CDD spaces is "you can tell these people don't know anything because they would all use the word 'parts' not 'alters' or 'fictives' cuz therapists don't let you use terms like that". Not only is this false, but psychologists are not required to exclusively use clinical terms accepted in strict medical literature. If you call your identity states "inner people" or something because that's what you've always understood them to be, therapists will often use that term as well and allow you to self describe your experiences.

Similarly, a common misconception and assumption is "You can't act like alters are people, a therapist wouldn't let you do that" because again, yes they would. In fact treatment involves treating a patient's alternate identities individually as "real" people the way that they likely never experienced. A practitioner qualified to treat a CDD is not going to tell you not to call another alter a person because they don't meet their definition of personhood, they are going to talk to them in accordance with how they understand their own identity because they exist as they do for a reason. A psychologist isn't going to go "hey, cut that out I'm not gonna pretend you're 4 year old 'Sally'. You're John so I'm treating you as the 44 year old man you are. 'Sally' isn't a real person". Sounds like a malpractice case waiting to happen. There is nothing constructive, helpful, or healthy about this denial approach that people assume that any "sane" therapist would use. It is not a treatment modality, it's just what some people want to happen because they can't comprehend why a medical professional would "humor" these alternate identities. But it's counterproductive when you're dealing with a patient so traumatized that they've dissociated to develop multiple identities. Hell even if the person were truly only pretending to have DID, that wouldn't be a helpful approach.

I think a lot of it comes from the discomfort around and inherent strangeness of the concept that one person can somehow be five "people". They're "parts" at most but the parts vs people thing is so nuanced. Someone with DID is human, there is no "real" them. Perception of self, identity, and personhood are so complicated and personal. The thing with DID is that you truly do not have a singular sense of personhood or identity. So how that feeling is defined, depends on who you ask.

Some people even with DID frame it as "it's not the existence of multiple people but less than one whole person being fragmented" which is not inherently incorrect for someone to describe themselves. But both can be true, you are the fragments of what would have been one cohesive identity, and exist with different perceptions of identity and personhood. Really saying someone with DID is less than a whole person feels dehumanizing but at the same time that is genuinely how some people feel about living with it. Like a bunch of pieces of a person, especially if these parts aren't very complex. So I wouldn't tell these people "no you have to see all your parts as whole PEOPLE" because their sense of personhood is not mine to dictate. For some, these identities feel so distinctly different and complex due to the extent of dissociation. I just don't see myself being able to tell someone they can't consider themselves a person. Sure socially, the "outside world" won't see you as 15 people or care that you have DID but you can still perceive yourself as you do, and as a person. It's part of the survival mechanism to do so, regardless of how uncomfortable that is for someone else. Fuck's sake, I doubt the people who feel so strongly about denying personhood to those with CDDs truly have had strangers irl with DID asking to be treated individually as different people but I'm fairly certain that most of them have unknowingly interacted with someone that has DID. But I've seen some people get so pissed at the mere idea of how someone with it perceives themselves internally. It's a covert condition, most people with it don't want strangers treating them differently but people act like they're all just going to Olive Garden or some shit asking the servers to call them Naruto and screaming ableism if they don't. If anyone, typically people close to those with DID are the only ones that they wish to know different alters on a personal basis, with a few exceptions like with any disorder. Chances are your coworker isn't gonna aggressively demand that you regard them as 25 individual people but it's like the people passionate about this invent people to get mad at based on some kid they saw using Pluralkit or some TikToks reposted to a cringe comp on Youtube.

Like personally, I don't care what people think of me but to say I'm less than a person is objectively pretty fucked up and to think I should have a therapist condition me to perceive myself otherwise when that has the potential to compromise the safety of someone dissociating to survive, is just as well.

[clover-cdd-confessions]

Welcome! This blog is for those with CDDs (complex dissociative disorders) and other disorders to talk about their experiences, vent, etc! While the blog is focused on DID/OSDD-1/P-DID/UDD, you can talk about other disorders or just chat! Those who are questioning or singlets who are curious about these disorders may ask questions, though I'm not a professional and I encourage everyone to do their own research. Please let me know if you wouldn't like a response, if you're looking for advice, resources, etc

This is my first time running a blog like this, so please let me know if I say something incorrect or unintentionally rude. I have RSD and autism along with other things, so please be nice! You can use they/them for the owner of this account 🍀 I'd prefer you not interact if: - You claim to be/support "non-traumagenic systems". This is impossible according to all current science on the matter. Systems are caused by trauma, and saying otherwise is insulting and ableist - You're a queer exclusionist - You don't support BLM, Free Palestine, etc - You demonize personality disorders/use the term "narc abuse" - You're a radqueer/transID People with personality disorders, psychosis, anti-contact/pro-recovery paraphiles, and proshippers are welcome. Antishippers are allowed as long as they are respectful. I don't care what your stance is on shipcourse, just be nice :) 🍀 When sending in asks, please warn for: selfharm, suicide, homicide, child/animal death (especially if caused by people/manmade objects), incest, & sexual abuse (feel free to warn for other common triggers, or specific ones - the only thing I ask is to not warn for things like disabilities, scars, or food; ty!) 🍀 SIGNOFF LIST

[incorrectcooldojidanshi]

mima, walking into his place: hello, people who don't live here shun: what's up? hayate: hello souma: hi! mima: i gave you guys a key for emergencies only shun: we were out of chips

[indigochromatic]

From @rayssyscourse (this post), two questions for general conversation: 1- Does your experience of plurality feel inherently disordered to you or not, independent of whether or not you have a CDD? 2- How do you think about personhood and identity, collectively and individually? (our answers under the cut)

Plurality and Disorderedness: We actually sort of have two different answers to this! The distinction between the two of us (e.g. me/L vs S), to us, doesn't feel inherently disordered at all. Sure, it's complicated, and there are aspects of the situation we'd change if we could (it would really be nice if S could have his own body back, for example), but the mere fact of us-being-two-of-us, of having two senses of self in one head instead of just one, feels no more or less disordered than being a singlet. It doesn't feel like the only reason we're separate is lingering trauma/emotional baggage pushing us apart, and there's no sense of wrongness in the feeling of each other being different--we're just different, and that's actually really neat in a lot of ways. However, for S's median facet subsystem thing, the answer is a little different. (Trying to paraphrase his emotions/wording for it secondhand here) To some extent, some of the ways in which his facets can get pushed apart/lose "collective cohesion" does feel inherently disordered to him. It's less that "having facets" feels inherently disordered, exactly, and more that the degree of estrangement and conflict between his facets (which fluctuates!) feels directly related to his mental health at the time, and whatever issues he's wrestling with. Being able to go in and single out and work with a facet that's having a hard time feels like a useful processing strategy, but needing to do it a lot, or having a facet get stuck 'out in the cold for too long' feels bad, and reflective of something Wrong. Personhood and Identity: Again, two different answers for our two different 'versions' of plurality! S and I feel like two different, closely connected people. Either of us could be a singlet alone, without the other--and in fact I was a singlet for a long time, at least as far as we know--although we do like each other a lot (<3) and like being able to be a team together. Calling either of us just "a part of the other" feels reductive and even a little demeaning--not to mention just...incorrect, at the base of it? One of the metaphors we like to use is "it's not that he has half the box of crayons and I have the other half; we each get to use the whole box of crayons, we just draw different things with them". With S's median facets, though, he/(they) very persistently and vehemently feel like they're all...part of the same overarching identity? They're all him even when they disagree or have differences (there's a line from a song he likes that he often points to for it: "We are the warriors who learned to love the pain/We come from different places but have the same name"), there's a core, unifying sense of self they all share even when their 'cohesion' gets disrupted by something difficult to process that he can't quite seamlessly internally reconcile. We have some internal nicknames for some facets/'themes' that show up a lot (because the number and nature of his facets isn't static, too), and internal headspace appearances can vary, but they don't have different names because, in his words, "I'm still me, there's just....sometimes a lot of me, who don't all agree".

(Several of our friends have joked that we're the actual IRL version of the system joke "I don't have DID, but my headmate does!", and honestly that's not a bad way to describe it X'D)

[sysmedsaresexist]

As someone with OSDD (if I’m right) what’s the worst misinfo about DID that us endos discuss in our spaces? /genq

JCYDJFCYS I love this question, I want my mods to jump in, too, but I'm going to spice it up with the worst misinformation from both sides.

For me, Dude, the worst I've seen in endo circles... is that DID is the same thing as mediumship. This is going to seem like I'm vagueing one of two people, but it's not you two (you'll know who you are). There's actually someone from before them that gave me the worst taste for that discourse, and probably made me a lot more angry about it.

In anti circles, it's got to be that dissociation is solely trauma-based. It's the most fundamental misunderstanding that leaks into everything else

I think those are my two biggest peeves.

-

Mod Quill here to say FFFFFF I HATE MISINFO. Gosh it really is in all the communities, too.

In endogenic spaces, it’s hard for me to decide, but I think it’s the idea that the ToSD is ableist because “it supports final fusion” (which is its own can of worms, which I think Mod Robo might touch on, if my guess is correct). The ToSD doesn’t even fucking mention final fusion get off it. I hear about the ToSD being ableist constantly, and genuinely, it seems like just being medical at all in any way is considered ableist…

Meanwhile, anti-endos? Good lord. The worst misinfo I see is the gatekeeping of trauma. “You can’t develop DID from XYZ” — congrats! You’re a fakeclaimer who doesn’t understand how trauma works. I pray no newly discovered systems find you.

-

Mod Robo here! Oh gosh, what misinfo haven't I seen? I swear I've seen the wildest shit!

Some of the worst stuff from pro-endos was them claiming or implying that CDDs are just the "broken" versions of endogenic plurality. I've seen people claim that DID doesn't require trauma, that the DID diagnosis only exists to stigmatize endogenic plurals, and that CDD systems who use terms like "parts" or "alters" just want to dehumanize ourselves and others.

Around 2019, a pro-endo started spreading a rumor that MPD was renamed to DID in order to stigmatize plurals which is just so horribly incorrect. Multiple dissociative disorders were renamed at the same time to have the word 'dissociation' in them, and it was done by a team of researchers. The pro-endo used the previous DSM chairman's ableism to spread lies and drag innocent DID systems into discourse.

Like mod Quill said, there's been a ton of misinfo from pro-endos over ToSD (theory of structural dissociation). I've seen people claim that it's completely bunk because one of the researchers who worked on it (there were multiple) lost his medical license for abusing a patient. I've also seen pro-endos try to apply ToSD to endogenic plurality and conclude that ToSD must be bunk because it doesn't fit? It just makes no sense to me because the theory was created to explain trauma-related dissociation caused by disorders like PTSD and DID, etc... It has nothing to do with plurality.

I've also seen tooons of horrible shit from pro-endos AND anti-endos about final fusion and fused alters/systems. I've seen people say it's comparable to grooming or suicide, or that these systems are just secretly "pluralphobic" and trying to become singlets. Honestly, the hatred and misinfo I've seen people say about fused systems is some of the worst.

As for anti-endos, I've seen lots of bad misinfo too... One of the worst things is gatekeeping common CDD things based on trauma type. For example, saying that nonhuman alters are only possible in systems who experienced ritual abuse. Other common CDD things I've seen anti-endos say can only happen due to ritual abuse: gatekeeper alters, subsystems, polyfragmentation, alters with number names or color names, switching due to triggers, alters who feel loyal to their abusers, alters that other alters can front through, certain headspace stuff like checkered floor tiles, having a headspace in general, etc.

I could say more but my reply is already longer than both Dude's and Quill's combined. I'll just leave it off here!

-

Mod Signal: I like this ask a lot lol. It shows genuine curiosity and a desire to improve spaces. Misinfo collects like dirt around syscourse. We all have to sweep regularly to make sure that shit gets thrown out.

On the pro-endo side, the worst I've seen is endo systems attempting to lean into the fantasy model of CDDs to support their own plurality. That model has been debunked for quite a while, and it has hurt so many goddamn people. CDDs are trauma-based, we don't have to reverse scientific progress or fakeclaim some of the first cases of recorded CDDs to support endo systems.

On the anti-endo side, my least favorite bit of misinformation is the idea that the TOSD shows how different people's trauma ranks in the trauma Olympics. The idea that someone with polyfragmented DID must have had things worse than an OSDD 1B system who must have had things worse than someone with BPD, etc. The level of dissociation required for each label in the DSM relies on so many more factors than just "who had it worse". There are biological dispositions to dissociation to take into account, there's the reminder that what's traumatic to a child isn't always considered traumatic to an adult, there's attachment styles to take into play. There is so much more to the science than "I had it worse than you and I have the diagnosis to prove it".

--

Everyone is welcome to reblog and add their own. This could be a good learning opportunity for people to go, "wait, that's not true??"

[justanothersyscourse]

I think this blog is blocked by fewer people that have heard the rumors and lies going around. I hope you'll read this. There are three sides to every story-- yours, theirs, and the truth.

I deserve to get my side out there so people can make informed decisions about who to follow or block, or whatever it is you need to do. It's okay not to support me, but do it for the right reasons.

I also run sysmedsaresexist, and I'm currently being accused of harassing a minor and sending random ass asks left, right and center.

Listen, if you got an ask where the person didn't say, "this is SAS," it's not from me. I HATE asks. On the rare occasion that I send them, I always tell people who I am. I am well aware that I'm a controversial figure. I want people to know who they're interacting with when I talk to them. I am old. It's important that I'm honest with the people I interact with. A lot of people really stepped up to support me, but I would like people to stop. Unfortunately, it's doing more harm than good.

With every one of these messages people send in support of me, the rumors get worse.

I want to defend myself, but I don't know how.

Send a vent to a vent blog that just actively lied about me? They won't post it. (They didn't, I just checked)

So I'll post it myself. You can make your own decision. All posts I've made on the topic are linked here (it's 5, compared to the DOZENS AEV has posted)

This will be my last post on the topic, and I hope that the people spreading these rumors will leave me alone. You've done more damage and harm to me than you know, and without any remorse or apology.

Ask sent to @anti-endo-haven :

I'm SAS and I'm so hurt.

I have not sent ANY anons to AEV, at all, at any point. I have not ASKED anyone to help me in this,

I made 5 posts. They have made about 50 at this point, all cruel.

The first was to AEV on their first post, which was NOT as rude as people say. I said, look webmd and mayo clinic isn't going to hold up to some of the articles that endos are throwing at us. Try some of these. I said, look, you're going to get really tired of hearing the same endo arguments. Here's some points you can throw back at them.

NOT TO MENTION THE MISINFORMATION IN THE POST. Dissociation is only trauma based? Incorrect. Maybe you should reconsider whether you're ready to be in these conversations.

That response was hidden.

The second post, I was correcting an endo that DID wasn't a trauma disorder. I tagged AEV and said, "see, you can be nice about corrections, and these are the kind of sources you should use."

I was blocked.

THIS IS WHEN I CHANGED LABELS. I was so disappointed in the community that I said fuck that, that's not what I want to be, I don't support this behavior. That's another person that AEV turned pro endo. Good job.

Then I saw the anon saying I was an endo. I used my other blog to POLITELY say, "This isn't true, please stop posting about me like this." This post is still on JAS, I didn't delete it like people are claiming

The fourth post was me making my own public post saying, "this child is throwing a tantrum over corrections. Now l'm pissed and I have to make my own public post so people don't believe those lies." This was the first rude post. I called AEV a blemish, and here's why.

I just made a MASSIVE post about dissociation that is actively being spread within the endo community now. All because I changed my label. I don't care if you all want to block me, but don't pretend that you're all doing anything to help by making bad resources for an audience that already believes the same stuff (all these new antis). Now all the new ones are spreading the same bad sources that don't hold up, and we all (yes, you, me, them, the next CDD system in line) look bad for it.

AEV couldn't provide a single source that said DID WAS trauma based, only "usually" trauma based. AEV actually made antis TURN PRO ENDO, because they used so many sources that said "usually". I offered him sources that said it WAS trauma based.

I'm not kidding, you can find the people that changed sides on sophieinwonderland's blog. This is what happened. I don't need to be polite as pie to people inadvertently harming the CDD community, but I certainly wasn't rude about it

My final post, the fifth post, on the subject was the sad one. "My main was leaked." There are people that stalk my blogs. They send me threats and long asks about the things they'd do to me if they found me. When sophie first came to tumblr, I'd get asks about what people wanted ghost to do to me. In the past, every time a new doxxer comes out of their gross hole, I start getting doxxing threats. l've had people get close to my area.

My main being released means those people are one step closer to actually finding me. It means I'm now getting these kinds of messages in my only safe space.

And the anon who sent my main admitted it was done maliciously. We had a falling out like two years ago, because their asks were getting creepy. When I APOLOGIZED TO THEM for ever hurting them because of my own avoidance issues, and told them that on this post, their response was, "well I enjoyed sending them so fuck you." If I ever find that post deleted, I've got a screenshot. You were NOT a minor at the time, you're an adult.

... Nice, really mature. You're definitely safe for minors.

Hey, also, minors, if an adult you just met online calls you "my kiddo", don't respond with an ovo face. Run.

Adults, if you call a minor your kiddo and they're like, owo really, I'm your kiddo? Fucking run.

Anyways.

I haven't said anything since. What can say. My main is out and I'm getting threats on it. Currently. Not "in the future," like the person said. It's happening NOW.

What do all you people want from me? I AM trying to leave you all alone. Stop saying such terrible things about me, godDAMN. I am not harassing minors. I don't want to harass anyone.

WHAT DID I ACTUALLY DO WRONG? I don't understand.

You're not the good guys you think you all are.

Not anymore.

I don't know that you ever were.

[seasidewanderers]

something about CDDs that I don't see talked about much is how you can just flip your opinion about something in moments and can hold it true for yourself at that moment. like, one of our frequent fronters likes pastel pink. they really really like it.

I absolutely fucking despise it. when asked their favourite colour they go pastel pink and yellow, I'd say it's cornflower blue or gold.

now this is overexemplified but it's what up with us at any given moment. I'm eating something, suddenly I can't stand it anymore, I hate it and I'd rather starve to death than eat it; oh that hobby I like so much! *loud incorrect buzzer* wrong! hate; etc

like our most accurate way of telling if we switched is asking ourselves if something is still true to us. I guess this is what the "people say you're lying when you're actually telling the truth" is about. what I'm saying IS true, but what I said before was also true in that moment, etc

[quoigenic-anon]

Follow up on my first ask, I am definitely open to learning about others experiences, I have just never heard someone explain it in a way that I am able to understand how it works without trauma before.

I am also mixed origin I have headmates who are spiritual headmates but I am traumagenic originally

Just wanted to ask about the headmate you’re talking about who existed before the traumatic experience you guys had. (I’m not trying to be mean or fake claim you or anything I’m just very autistic and my brain doesn’t understand things that I don’t see as facts 😭) My understanding of DID/OSDD is that before the ages of 7-10 ish everyone has multiplicity and that trauma around that age prevents the original multiplicity from naturally merging and that’s what creates systems. If that’s true that would mean it would definitely make sense for your headmate to have existed before the trauma but to my understanding it would be the trauma that caused them to still exist now

If that’s incorrect feel free to correct me, that’s just why I struggle to understand endogenics bc in my view every person used to be plural and naturally merged at age 7-10, and the trauma is the only thing that prevents that natural merger. That’s what my physiologist told me at least is that there is no original personality because everyone started off with multiple

We're not good in explaining stuff scientifically. Our basis for argument is always rather a living experience. So we can't really educate you on CDD matter, my apologies.

We don't have DID or OSDD or any other dissociative disorder. But it's just... Not the only way plurality can form.

Pixel was 12-13 when the first headmate was created through tulpamancy. And he was gone by the time she turned 14. You can check stuff about tulpamancy to try to understand this process. It's written for singlets, so, yes, it's a form of created plurality. There is also research about tulpamancy and its influence. Somewhere on Tumblr. I'm sure someone can reblog with a link.

Disorders are caused by trauma, yes, it's out of the debate. But plurality is not always caused by trauma. It can be caused from stress, from neurodivergency, from other disorders, from daydreaming. Also, who can tell for sure if there's no people who never merged for no reason? And people who spontaneously became plural?

We don't know much about origins. My formation is caused by different factors, such as stress, daydreaming, previous creation experience. For everyone it probably feels different.

Plurality itself is barely studied. We don't know everything human brain can do.

You can try asking other syscoursers about their endogenic plurality, if you want more perspectives.