#it’s another reason why as an individual with issues with my own health I love squilf. just a side note but agh. I love her

[animalechochamber]

I think about warrior cats sexism all the time. All the time. Like they clearly have it in their writing we (I’m saying we as in the circles I run in. If you don’t know here’s a video on it made by sunnyfall on yt) all know this but it’s in the way that the authors bias shows into their media which just shows how they think about women subconsciously. But like I’m obsessed with the version of warrior cats where this bias is actually real and was written with it in mind. Where it would actually be pointed out and looked at. Where it isn’t just something they accidentally but strongly wrote into their stories.

Idk even when I first read wc as a 7 year old I felt a connection to the female characters bc I could even see how mistreated they were (despite not knowing what sexism really was. just shows how I could already see the difference between me and my male peers at such a young age :/)

And wished so so badly that it would be confronted- but it never was. And that’s so upsetting to the point I still think about it all the time today.

[berberriescorner]

"Through It All"

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.

Summary: There aren’t many things that put Rio on edge. Most people see a calm, cool, and collected individual. Keeping a level head is his specialty. What happens when the person he loves most needs him to be strong for both of them? Get a glimpse of what it’s like seeing him hold someone down through thick and thin, in sickness and health. If you know, you know.

**PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS AND AUTHOR’S NOTE**

Warnings: Angst…like seriously. You’ll understand once you read the author’s note. This fic contains sweet, soft, fluffy Rio. The fic includes some of my crazy humor with a smidge of the character’s inner thoughts. If reading about gynecological procedures makes you uncomfortable, this may not be a fic for you. It doesn’t go into great detail, but it is mentioned and sheds a bit of light. If mentions of the ins and outs of fertility is a soft spot, please read with caution. It isn’t my intention to bring anyone down, but this story is based on parts of my own experiences. Again, the note will explain more.

Author/Personal Note: Okay. Where to start? So, as some of you may know throughout the past two years I’ve been getting cycles of iron infusions. This year, after making several complaints and an ER visit or two. I had an ultrasound performed, which led to me getting surgery months later (the procedure I had done recently). I’ve been spending my days at home recovering, and it’s given me time to reflect. Damn, it’s been a rough couple of years, but I’m so thankful through it all. It’s difficult having a plethora of health issues. This situation put so much added stress on top of it all. As a woman, hearing you have a fibroid. Learning it’s best to get it removed to protect your fertility is scary as hell. You get it done, get sent home, and though you have loved ones taking amazing care of you. It’s still a difficult, challenging process. At times, it’s lonely. No one but you can fully wrap your head around the emotions and feelings the body is going through. It’s pretty wild.

Anywho, sorry y’all. Let me stop rambling and get to the point. We all know how overactive my imagination is. Being stuck in bed, my mind has been wandering. I thought to myself why not take this experience and channel it into a fic. I’m hoping that this will also be a comforting story to anyone who’s been through the same experience. Here is a look at how I envision Rio taking in the experience with his lady. I plan to write at least two more parts for this. Happy reading my lovelies! I wrote this on a whim, in celebration of my birthday, so ignore the grammatical errors my loves. I may come back and do some more editing. Depends on how I’m feeling.

Word Count: 1,800+. 

Inspired By💜:

Random fun fact: Toni Braxton and I have the same birthday😆. Happy Birthday, Queen💓.

Everything was still as a deafening silence fell across the room. It was as if each occupant was afraid to utter a single word. Your mother pretended to distract herself with a Kindle book as your father paced the floor quietly. They’d share a glance each time they checked their watch, smiling at one another in comfort and reassurance. 

Then, together, they directed their attention toward the chair in the far right corner. It was tucked in a tight corner next to a window, giving little relief and comfort to your husband, Rio. He, too was anxious, but no one would ever know it. He was always able to still his facial features. Never one to give his emotions away. The only person who could read him wasn’t in the room. You were on the other side of the building and the reason for your families’ nervousness. No longer able to stand the constant glances and silence, Rio stood from his seat. He released a breath, rubbing his palms against his jeans. Turning to your parents, he stated, “I’m going to grab a quick cup of coffee from the cafeteria. Would you two like something?”

Your mother, a gentle, nurturing soul, responded for both of them.

“No, baby. We’re fine. Don’t worry. I’ll come find you if we receive news.”

Rio ducked away in a vacant spot in the cafeteria, hands folded over top of the steam of the coffee. He searched for peace and solace until a jolting vibration exploded in his jacket pocket. Fumbling for the phone, he answered without looking.

“What they say ma-. Oh, my bad. Wassup? Everything good?” Rio listened patiently before snapping. “You know this is something you could’ve handled yourself, right? I don’t have time for the three stooges bullshit today.”

He instantly felt a slight pang of guilt. Rio realized that the stress and worry of his current situation were influencing his mood. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed. Inhaling, he continued, “My bad bro. She’s been in for three hours, and it’s got me tweaking. Nobody’s giving us any damn answers. It’s a non-invasive procedure, but it’s still considered major surgery. I just need to hear she’s good.”

“It’s all good, boss. I know you’re worried about wifey. She’s a strong woman. Boss lady’s going to be alright. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. Call me as soon as you know something,” Mick responded.

“You're right. Thank you for holdin’ shit down.”

He laid his phone on the table, burying his face in his hands. The last few moments he spent with you were on repeat in his mind. Rio returned to the present, hearing the chair opposite him slide backward. His eyes connected with your father’s, and he readied himself for wherever the conversation would go.

It was no secret that the two hadn’t always seen eye to eye. The two men sat for several minutes before your father started speaking.

“I’ll be honest with you, man. You’re not at all what I envisioned for my daughter.”

“You seriously want to have this conversation right now?”

“Now wait, son. Let me finish.”

Hold up. It’s son now? Where is this going? It didn’t even sound disrespectful. It doesn’t sound like he’s trying to play me on some sucka shit. I’ll hear him out.

Rio nodded his head, giving your father the floor.

“I may not know all you do for a living, son, but I know you’ve managed to make a comfortable and safe life for my baby girl. When it comes down to it, that’s what I’ve always wanted for her. It took me some time to come to terms with it, but I know, without a doubt, that you’re doing everything in your power to make her feel protected and loved. Let me just say what I’m getting at,” he chuckled. “You’re good at hiding it, son, but I know you’re worried. Hell, so are we, but that’s alright.”

Rio’s head dropped, shoulders slumping. He took the opportunity to be vulnerable finally. Your father’s acceptance allowed him the space to do so. He felt a comforting grip land on his shoulder. Your father finished, “Baby girl is going to be alright, son. With all your love and support, she’ll be back on her feet soon. Now, you take a few more moments to yourself. Don’t be surprised when her momma wraps you up in a big hug when you head back. She’s worried about her favorite son-in-law.”

Rio chuckled, “I’m her only son-in-law, sir.”

“Even better. You ain’t gotta share. That sweet woman sure knows how to smother people in love.”

“You’re daughter is the same way. It’s one of the many things I love about her.”

“Which is why you understand my reasons for being so guarded. That’s my baby girl. Enough with that ‘sir’ shit too. Call me pops. My son may not like that, but I get a kick out of irritating him anyway. He’s overprotective of his sister.”

“Y’all gon’ try to take me out if I ever mess up, huh?”

“What I look like snitching on myself? Let’s not ever get to that bridge, son.”

The two men shared a laugh, but everything turned serious when they saw your mom power walking towards them. Rio's heart began thudding in his chest.

“Ma, what’s wrong? Did-.”

“Relax, sugar,” she cooed, rubbing a hand against both men’s arms. “The nurse said the doctor should be ready to talk to us in about fifteen minutes. Let’s head back to the waiting room.”

Fifteen minutes came and went. Your mother couldn’t help but crack a smile at both men. They both started fussing about how long the surgeon was taking. She felt sorry for the man once he approached them. The doctor, attempting to apologize, was cut off by an impatient Rio.

“You good, doc. We understand these things take time, but excuse us for being anxious. We were under the impression this would be about an hour-long procedure. How’s my wife?”

The surgeon explained himself. “That’s what we anticipated, but the process took longer. Your wife’s last ultrasound a few months back showed a fibroid the size of a plum. Sadly, it grew to the size of an orange, which would explain why things grew more difficult during her last few cycles. However, you’ll be happy to know that we managed to do it laparoscopically, and everything looks great. She’s being taken to recovery now, but we’ve decided to keep her overnight.”

All three of your family members asked, “Why is that,” in unison.

“We just want to keep an eye on her for the next twenty-four hours. Given gas was used to see things more clearly, we’d like to monitor her. We’ll need to see that she gets up and walks to get things flowing. I just want to be sure she gets it moving out of her system. Also, since she’s anemic, we just want to be extra careful. I promise everything went well, and she should be ready to go in the morning.”

Each family member felt at ease. The trio waited for an invitation to your recovery room. Though he wanted to be the first person you saw when you woke up, Rio encouraged your parents to go first. The two visitors' only rule irritated them all.

Your eyes fluttered open, and your parents laughed at the slurred responses given to your nurse. Your parents took turns kissing your forehead, expressing encouraging words. Your father, now at ease, left the room in search of Rio.

“You might want to hurry back there. She’s still a bit loopy. Baby girl has been asking the nurse, where my husband? You got my baby acting ratchet in this hospital,” he joked.

“Aye, she was like that when I met her,” he laughed, walking towards recovery.

Rio slid behind the curtain, laying eyes on the most precious sight. You were in bed, laid back, eyes closed, singing off-key as your mother held your hand, laughing. The nurse stepped beside him, giving a small giggle.

“She’s been looking for you. Ma’am, the man of the hour is here.”

Your eyes popped open as you halted the song. “My husbannnd! Hey baeee,” you winced, given the pain and having a hoarse voice.

“Mama, you back here wildin’ ain’t you? How’s our little patient doing, ma,” he directed toward your mom.

“Crazy as ever. This girl opened her eyes, looked at me, and called herself whispering. Loud as ever, she asked me if she still had a uterus. Her daddy would’ve turned red if he were capable.”

They both shared a laugh as you did your best to shrug shoulders. Wanting to give you two privacy, your mom went to sit in the waiting room. Rio turned to you, holding your hand. His lips brushed across your knuckles, and he shivered at how cold they were. Wrapping his hand around yours, he tried warming the digits.

“My momma ain’t answer my question though,” you mumbled, eyes closed.

Rio smiled, “What’s that now, mama?”

“My uterus. Sis still in there, right?”

“Yes, darlin’. What makes you think it’s not?”

“I signed them papers, man. In the event of a ‘mergency, they were going to take shawty,” you sassed, words still slurring.

Rio did his best to hold back a cackle. Clearing his throat, he replied, “Mama, you straight. Everything went according to plan. There was no emergency. The fibroid is out. It was bigger than expected. That’s why it feels like you were out for a while.”

“Aight bet. So when we making babies,” you asked, wincing again.

“First off, sit still, mama. Your body is pretty sore right now.”

“Baby, I’m drugged up! I don’t feel nothin’.”

“Second. You’ll be recovering for four to six weeks. You’re not going to be in any type of mood for all that. I believe the surgeon said no sex for two to three weeks. No babies for at least six months, darlin’. They just sliced your uterus open and stitched it back together, mama,” he explained, running his thumb across your lip.

He laughed at the pout etched on your face. Rio caressed the side of your face, kissing you gently. “On some real shit. I was worried out my mind over you, mama. I’m so glad you’re good. You’re my world. The clock kept ticking, and I was about to lose it.”

Your eyes connected with his, “I’m right here, papa. I’m good. We gonna be good. No matter what,” you whispered. Even through the drugs and drowsiness, you could feel his angst. Rio could read between the lines. He knew what you were trying to communicate. It had been on both your minds heavily. Your eyes connected with his. Rio saw the unshed tears you were holding back, and he swallowed hard, nodding his head in agreement. No matter where this path led, Rio knew, in his heart, that he loved you with everything in him.

Baby or not, we’ll still feel fulfilled and happy. My life’s purpose is to love and give you the world.

This piece was both personal and therapeutic for me to write. I truly hope you all enjoyed it. Please be sure to comment and reblog, it's appreciated. Now I'm about to go eat some birthday cake and read some amazing fan fiction😆.

Divider credit💜 : @firefly-graphics

tagging💜 : @4everbrookemarie @darqchilddaydreamz @astoldbychae @sunshine-flower

@nightlywords7 @starrynite7114 @amorestevens @fineanddandy

@rio-reid-whoreee @that-one-anxious-mango @novaniskye

@alertyoulikeitsamber @1andonlytashae @lovedlover @blkbutterfly816 @banana123pudding

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Yo! Good morning/evening, hope you are fine^^💝. I wanted to ask you a question but I was afraid that it may bother you or something (you know..that feeling when you are scared that you might disturb someone or being an unwelcome person) but yeah I will ask you since i was serious about your answer for some time now so I hope I'm not annoying you or something *feel free to answer only if you wish^^. You seem to know the characters pretty well, you are quite capable and great at reading and understanding them, one of the things I'm serious about is what do you think would make someone qualified enough to be with malleus? Do they have to be of the same species?certain Reputation, stature or traits?(sorry can't help it since I can't rest until I know everything about what interests me and figure it all out😅). Thanks for giving me some of your precious time I really like your blog, you're amazing💜

No worries, you’re not bothering me at all ^^ I love to talk about my hyperfixations www

Now, I know a lot of fans (particularly on the EN side) like to ship Malleus with their OC and especially with Yuu so I want to first make it clear that my response is NOT meant to invalidate those Malleus shippers. Whatever I say here is based on my own interpretation of canon lore (and let’s be real here, TWST won’t ever confirm if anyone is romantically interested in Yuu because it might not work with how some players view their own relationship with that character). In fanon, anyone can be with anyone, but in canon there are very specific in-universe rules and expectations laid out for Malleus so these are what I will be referring to.

I also want to emphasize that the final traits I discuss in this post do NOT reflect Malleus’s personal tastes or views. He has little say in what kind of an individual his spouse would be, so his own preferences are not speculated about or taken into account here. The traits I will be bringing up are based on what I believe the lore implies are the desirable traits for those marrying into the Draconia royal family.

We got it? Good 👍 Read more below the cut!!

Firstly, I’m completely disregarding the ideas of “Malleus can love whoever he wants to love”, “Malleus can scare people into accepting who he loves”, and/or “Malleus can change the law so he can marry who he loves” (a la Sultan from Aladdin or through some other Disney magic or logic). Here’s why:

In general, those solutions for “high stakes issues” are too simple, and that has never been how Twisted Wonderland tackles complicated problems. Just look at every single OB boy’s backstory. They’re so complex that they aren’t totally resolved by the end of their books; these problems persist and are long term things each of them are working on addressing. This is also true of the politics TWST introduces to us; Leona for example explains how there is social pushback and resistance to the idea of infrastructure reform because the culture of the Sunset Savanna stresses harmony with nature. This has made it difficult for them to adopt new technologies because real politicians in their world have to seriously weigh their cultural values with their health and societal progress. The only time there are really easy solutions are in events or vignettes where the emotional stakes are not super high, but who Malleus marries is, in fact, super important since this will entirely change the life of a main character and his country.

With that first bullet point in mind… No, Malleus cannot love whoever he wants to love. Certainly, he may feel affection for another but he can never truly be with them. He is royalty and the only heir to the throne of Briar Valley. It follows that he is expected to marry for political reasons/to better his nation. This is a non-negotiable obligation for him.

Rather than saying, “Malleus cannot scare people into accepting who he loves”, I think it’s more accurate to say Malleus knows he probably shouldn’t. I mean, yes, he may be upset about his S/O not being accepted by his people but I feel that is discrediting a lot of the loyalty he has for his own country. As a kid he may have thrown tantrums when he was upset and potentially harmed staff, but as a 178 year old he has a much better understanding of decorum and maintaining it in spite of his own grudges. For example, even though he personally dislikes Leona he still commands Sebek to apologize to him because, at the end of the day, this could harm Briar Valley’s relationship with the Sunset Savanna. That’s not to say that Malleus can’t be petty (he definitely is)—but implying he would be petty toward basically his entire country just because they would disapprove of the one he loves?? (We know this would likely be true because Sebek’s parents faced similar backlash when they got together.) I feel like his own sense of awareness and responsibility for his country, crown, and people would override that. As an example, Malleus states that he has never been in a car before because the senate would be against it and often kept Malleus in the castle. Someone of his power could easily ignore them and sneak out and do whatever he wanted, yet the dialogue implies Malleus didn’t. He obeyed his political advisors even when he was younger and arguably much more immature. Malleus might not like certain decisions made about his life but it sounds like he ultimately complies with them.

Continuing from the previous point, let’s say for the sake of argument that Malleus does scare everyone into line. What about his public image and the mental health of his S/O? Maybe Malleus can frighten people to not talk out of turn to his face, but he cannot control what people whisper about him behind closed doors or to treat his S/O well or like they actually like them. Not only would they be alienated (away from their own home and forced to adapt to a new one) but they’d be treated oddly by others too. What kind of reputation is that for Malleus? To be a tyrant king who throws a hissy fit anytime someone talks about his partner in a way he doesn’t approve of? With a spouse who is not at their best mentally because of the constant ostracization? (This is similar to what Leona experienced in his childhood.) I don’t think Malleus would want to subject anyone to that kind of life, especially not one he loves. And again, this attitude would be the vast majority of his people. It’s not like it can be avoided or resolved in an easy manner, especially when the people of Briar Valley have proven to be against change.

Lastly, Malleus would not change the law so he can be with whoever he wants to. To begin with, I doubt this is a unilateral position the senate would approve of. But okay, let’s accept that Malleus is royalty so his power overrides the advisors’ power. So he effectively just changed a law for a very selfish and personal reason rather than changing something to actually benefit his people. That doesn’t feel in-character for him, not when Malleus seems to understand that it is the duty of those in higher status to help those below them rather than themselves (see: Riddle’s Suitor Suit vignettes. Malleus has acted selfish before, yes (who remembers Endless Halloween Night? His Dorm Uniform vignettes? I do.)—but never at the cost of changing the status quo of his country. (Book 7 is not included here because he’s in a very distressed emotional state then; this “new law” scenario posits that Malleus is in a normal state of mind.) This is a major change—change which Briar Valley, its people, and most importantly, Malleus, are not ready for. You think there wouldn’t be social pushback against this? From a society that has become complacent with its own way of life and is still isolated from the rest of the world? That Malleus, someone who struggles greatly with accepting life changes himself, could enact such a big change so easily? (On a more technical level, you don’t just pass a law and it instantly becomes tangible or real, there is a process of approval and then implementation.)

Additionally, it’s made clear in Ghost Marriage that “[Malleus] cannot enter into an engagement lightly”, which is why Sebek goes in his place. Eliza, the Ghost Bride, is royalty (er, albeit dead) but it seems that royal status is not enough to qualify as his partner. Maybe this is because she’s dead and doesn’t have anything of value for Briar Valley (no land, no people, no political power), but it could also mean that the partner has to be given the thumbs up by other parties.

All that being said, here are some of the conditions I think would have to be met for Malleus’s future spouse:

Has to be someone of equal or at least high status. This means they also have to be a royal or at least of nobility. This appears to be true of Malleus’s dad, who is referred to as a duke.

Because of how self-contained Briar Valley is + nocturnal fae having beef with diurnal fae, I imagine his partner would have to also be a nocturnal fae. This would also solve the MASSIVE lifespan difference between fae and non-fae because at least fae would be far closer to each other even if their lifespans fluctuate but subspecies.

Someone suited to rule by his side. Being married into any royal family is no joke—it comes with the expectation that you will contribute somehow, and the partner should be fully equipped to enter the world of politics with him.

Piggybacking off the last point, I think mental fortitude is also a prerequisite. This is because being a politician (navigating the social climate both within your country and outside of it, keeping your people and colleagues happy, maintaining public approval, managing laws, dealing with potential attempts on your life, etc.) can be very stressful and can hurt those who are faint of heart or not prepared for the responsibility. Leaders have to make tough calls at the drop of a hat, and they have to be ready for it.

Has a lot to offer in terms of benefits to Briar Valley as a country. This could be in terms of resources, connections, and/or political savvy. This appears to be true of Malleus’s dad, who acted as a diplomat for Briar Valley.

Vetting and formal approval from the senate. lmao good luck with that

Has to be able and willing to have a child. They at least need an heir to the throne to succeed Malleus. (However, knowing how exclusionary and conservative as heck the senators are, I doubt they would accept anything but a biological child 💀)

Preferably someone with powerful magic or is skilled at magic already so as to lessen the chance of “tainting” the bloodline with a weak mage or a non-mage.

I believe that Briar Valley would prefer someone with old fashioned values like them, not someone pushing for massive reform. They have a culture that is resistant to change and a history of fighting for resources with outsiders, so if Malleus’s new spouse tries to introduce a bunch of technology or open its borders to other countries (even if they have good intentions), the people + the senate may oppose them. His father is implied to be open-minded, but he at least understood that such change isn’t reasonable without time and effort dedicated to the endeavor.

All that being said 💦 I think that this topic is actually less about what Malleus as an individual wants and what his country, his people, and, yes, even his asshole senators, want. This is basically an arranged marriage situation so that their country can maintain power and relevance. It’s about the collective and what Malleus must do for their perceived security and prosperity.

[lychee-angelica]

ashwini nakshatra 🍯

please do not plagiarise or copy my work, thank you my loves

ashwini nakshatra occurs at 0.00° - 13.20° of aries, ruled by ketu and influenced by mars. it is the first nakshatra of the twenty-seven lunar mansions, in a sense marking itself as the original ascendant point. planet sun becomes exalted in ashwini specifically and funnily enough the sun rises on the eastern horizon - where all of our ascendant signs are calculated from. ashwini is the dawn of the sun x

the word ashwini literally means "horse-woman" or "a beautiful stallion". despite the yoni of this nakshatra being a male horse the word ashwini translates to something quite feminine. a horse is the main symbol of this nakshatra, making it very important when understanding the qualities of ashwini. horses are a symbol of good health, vitality, beauty and opulence. the quality of ashwini is light and swift, aligning well with horses characteristically speaking. this nakshatra is fast, powerful, wild yet elegant and graceful.

additionally, the bird that symbolises ashwini nakshatra is an eagle. a bird that represents a kind of fierce beauty, proud independence, freedom and strength.

i would also like to add that just as how not all aries people are the same, not all ashwini people are the same either. the padas distinguish the nakshatra further into fourths. each pada essentially is a sign that planet falls within in our navamsa charts. the pada will indicate certain traits attributed to the sign in our navamsa charts.

ashwini pada 1 falls in aries - lively, pioneering, energetic

ashwini pada 2 falls in taurus - materialism, down to earth

ashwini pada 3 falls in gemini - light-hearted, witty, friendly

ashwini pada 4 falls in cancer - emotional, compassionate

mythological significance 🍯

wife of suyra

the ashvini kumaras are the gods of ashwini, they are twin horse headed deities. their mother was wife of sun, suyra. she had once fled her husband due to his immense heat, taking on the form of a female horse, venturing far away into the woods in order to recuperate. she had casted a shadow of sorts or a clone of herself to take care of her affairs at home. although, suyra eventually figured the reality of the situation, from there he swiftly took form of a horse and ran after her. upon reunion the two made love in their horse forms and the ashvini kumaras were then born.

this story portrays many things, the first being a tendency to run-away from our issues in life whether literally or metaphorically. this can manifest in someone's life through forms of escapism and even deception. although this theme of running away from our problems tends to be for the purpose of regaining our own vitality and peace, finding ourselves once more.

the second key message in the story is that of loyalty and devotion. suyra's wife did not wish to leave his side, she temporarily distanced herself from her husband for her own health and well-being. this is why ashwini individuals tend to remain loyal in love despite their apparent independence, boldness and awareness of their own needs. for this reason, sun becomes exalted in ashwini nakshatra, specifically occurring at 10° of aries - pada four. ashwini pada four resembles the most softest and compassionate side of ashwini as it falls in the sign of cancer in our navamsa charts, this is why suyra thrives best here. ashwini is the true wife of sun.

another note is that suyra's wife married a man of high status, he is literally the hottest. this is why ashwini is often times attributed to opulence and luxury. additionally, horses are symbolic of wealth in society which has been quite a timeless association. although money and fame is not the motive of ashwini women, just a little side note.

miraculous healing

the asvini kumaras are celestial physicians to the gods. there are copious amounts of stories told of the twins performing medical miracles for others. they most notedly cure blindness specifically, but also regenerated the health, well-being, youth and beauty of others. the twins were knowledgeable on the sciences, medicine and art of surgical practice but had a thirst for divine and occult knowledge in order to 'cut to the chase' so to speak with their miracle workings.

the fact that the asvini kumaras primarily cure blindness is quite significant. when we think of eyesight, visible perception and light, suyra's exaltation within ashwini provides deeper reason. ketu on the other hand, resembles a dark force of ultimate nothingness, metaphorical blindness. it is just like to say that our literal pupils are just twin black holes of empty space, with those same eyes all that can be taken in is the immense light of suyra. the story portrays the act of curing blindness as miraculous, meaning attributed to divine working, acknowledging the divinity of our own vitality. in ashwini nakshatra health and well-being is expressed as something divine with a sense of regenerated youth. ashwini individuals are able to peer through beyond the veil so to speak, entwined with the affairs of tangible and internal realties, the seen and unseen.

characteristically the asvini kumaras are painted as youthful and delightful deities, even a mischievous and cunning pair with good intentions. they are interested in the secrets of divinity and are willing to take short cuts or loopholes in order to learn quickly. they are highly compassionate and in tune with the needs of others. ashwini people tend to be very light-hearted and don't take things too seriously. their cunning and intelligent nature ultimately negates any mistaken nativity in their character.

appearance 🍯

when discussing the physical appearance, it is important to note that our other placements will garner influence over the appearance in our charts too - specifically speaking our moon, sun and ascendant. i believe too that first or second house lord placed in ashwini will result similar features.

one of the most notable traits of ashwini women is their lips, they are usually wide, if not they'll be quite moderate in length, along with moderate plumpness. the cheekbones of these women tend to be high set too along with a moderately pointed chin - the face is usually tight in structure despite the overall length. the most common eye shape i have seen with these women is slightly hooded and large eyes, especially with ashwini ascendant and moon. overall these women physically possess a quite youthful and elegant kind of beauty.

suyra ashwini (sun) - gigi hadid & anya taylor-joy

chandra ashwini (moon) - selena gomez & zendaya

personality sun, moon & ascendant 🍯

when either sun, moon or ascendant is placed within ashwini the traits of course become personal. these individuals are independent and bold, they are the types to value their freedom and will prioritise their health and well-being. they have a quite cunning, playful and even mischievous side to them too. they are light-hearted, sweetly-spoken and don't take life too seriously. they are also very loyal and devoted to their loved ones.

people born under ashwini may have a tendency to become quite impatient, they may even speak or walk pretty swiftly too. they may love adrenaline and adventure. these people likely have a thirst for divine and occult knowledge too.

planets in ashwini mercury, venus, mars, jupiter & saturn 🍯

mercury in ashwini people are very friendly and good at communicating with others, most people will often find these individuals highly likeable. they can be quite witty, cunning and have good sense of humour. they are highly intelligent, skilful and have the ability to learn very quickly. they may also speak in a quick yet delightful and persuasive manner.

venus in ashwini people are highly compassionate and devotional lovers. others may perceive them, particularly the women as worthy of a very valuable or even high status partner. there is also something beautiful when it comes to their light-hearted and playful natures - especially when relating to love interests.

mars in ashwini people may be very self-made types, very strong independent streak can be seen. people with this placement can have a very stunning physique too, they may appear very healthy. similar to sun, mars in ashwini can indicate someone who possesses the characteristics of a pioneer or leader.

jupiter in ashwini people may be very intrigued with the bigger, over arching questions in life. they most likely have a thirst for divine and occult knowledge and refreshing perspectives and beliefs. they also tend to grasp these topics quickly, even through some sort of spiritual loophole. they are like pioneers when it comes to spiritual and existential ideology.

saturn in ashwini people may be quite impatient, they can be frustrated when it comes to their karmas and struggles in life. although saturn is not debilitated in ashwini, he still struggles within the sign of aries. unfortunately saturn's slow paced and patient nature is quite uncomfortable within ashwini.

© lychee-angelica 2023

[kakiastro]

Mercury Retrogrades: Let’s Discuss

I feel like there’s so much misconception with Mercury Rx. I need y’all to calm down and stop letting these transits freak y’all out!

Transits are felt as a collective but it impacts all of us individually differently! It’s like riding a bus. We’re all riding a bus we’re getting off on different locations. That’s how you treat any transit. Everyone has their own unique path, lessons and blessings in this lifetime.

What is a retrograde? Let’s start there…

Retrogrades is like re-looking at a contract or rewinding a scene from the movie to make sure you read and seen it clearly. It’s going back to the drawing board and making sure you’re not missing something. You may actually get a better idea or completely start fresh and it’s okay!!! Retrogrades shine light on what is and isn’t working anymore, so why are you all acting scared or worried? Listen, retrogrades can be a blessing if you know how to work with the energy not against it. Does this mean that things can’t be annoying or complicated? No, that’s life. But, I promise you’ll learn something from this. That’s how these transits work.

Mercury is the planet of planning and organization. It’s rules over our thought process and how we communicate these things. Mercury is our Health, mental and physical.

What if past people come back?

- If past people come back then this means that you have unfinished business or karma you need to clear out. Sometimes they come back because it could be a chance to start over and re-look at the situation and communicate. Another reason, it could be to see if you’re officially over and have learned that lesson associated with that person. It’s up to YOU if you want them back in your life. I’m going to be real, you may take back certain people in your life because you still have something left to learn.

Can I sign contracts or make big decisions?

Here’s the thing, if it’s not meant for you to do it then the Universe will block it one way or another! you have to start paying attention to the signs and listen to your intuition. If there’s doubt and you have been overthinking something, that’s a sign that you should probably leave something alone until you have clarity. You want to buy a car but nothing is going right, thats a sign love. Mercury Rx is asking you “Are you sure you want that car? Have you done a thorough research on it and see if its beneficial too you?” You want to try a new business endeavor but can’t find any resources, that’s a sign. You’re being asked to ”have you thought this endeavor out fully? Do you have a long term plan for it?” Now if you have full clarity on a situation and everything going smooth then that means you can go through with it because it was already planned out accordingly subconsciously or consciously.

Example: I bought my current cell phone during a Mercury Rx. I had been wanting a new phone for months but the timing wasn’t right but I knew I needed one. When Mercury Rx hit, my phone carrier told me that I qualified for the newest phone for no down payment. I took the opportunity and I’ve had this phone for 3 years and with only 1 issue(apple problem, not my phone) in this span.

Why is my life falling apart then?

-your life was probably already falling apart but you were too distracted by external things such as work, family or relationship(s) to noticed. Now it’s like someone has poured ice cold water in your face and you’re starting to see the dog shit in the corner, you’ve been smelling couldn’t spot it, SURPRISE! I’m tell you this, your life is falling apart or going through something so you can rebuild something builder. Is it fair? No, life isn’t always fair, earth isnt easy but just like the great Maya Angelou once said “you do the best you can. when you know better, you do better.”

Now this leads with this Mercury Rx being in Aries, we are looking at ourselves and reevaluating who we are. With the NN being here, we’re being pushed too. We have to if we want to grow. If you’re not reevaluating yourself then people closest to you are reflecting on what you need to heal. Libra which rules other people and Aries sister sign is also in effect. This eclipse was in a libra degree. Chiron is currently in Aries to remember? So take accountability for you past action, grieve and cry it out if you have too. But, also forgive yourself and others for your own mental (Mercury) peace. Some people will forgive you , others won’t, but the greatest thing we can all do is grow to be better for our future selves and the people we still have yet to meet! First we need too take accountability and heal.

See guys, life isn’t black and white, it’s very grey and it’s filled with nuance. These transits help us better ourselves and others in live timing.

I hope I didn’t come off preachy but I felt called to talk about this today because I wanted to you all to understand these transits in a newer more nuanced way. Can’t you all tell that this Rx is happening in my 10h😅

[kibbits]

It’s health scare anon here again (I really should get better identification others then my health issues) with gentle reminder to all to drink water, take your meds, and two burning questions about the BAL!Boys:

1. If it ever became an option (I do mean an option, not that Fazbear would give them one), would they get separate bodies? Would the answer change once they develop their individuality? 

2. Is there a BAL!Eclipse? And are they a separate entity or truly both Moon and Sun?

GOD ANON ARE YOU PSYCHIC?! 'CAUSE I S2G THAT "3AM EPIPHANY I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH" WAS ABOUT THAT EXACT TRAIN OF THOUGHT (also yes ghfffh i care you but id love another thing to call you ehehe)

Ok so first, very short answers (hopefully) and then the spiral into lore under the readmore!

At first they miiiight? Useful to have 2 of them on stage, but very complicated for lore reasons that are gonna be under the readmore. Its also kind of their gimmick at this point they they're both one/transform on stage. Then in the middle when they're finding themselves aaaaabsolutely not! Panic attack at the mere thought of it honestly their situation is way too complicated at this point. At the end.. I don't think so, nope! MAYBE if like. The option to hop back and forth is there? The option could be fun, but they're comfortable where they are and they'd rather stay together. (I'm not opposed to making art with both for funsies though!) .

There is and isn't : ) It's not a separate entity, for sure. THIS especially is the thought that sparked this whole lore I'm about to drop fkjldgjkl

ANYWAY FRESH LORE! GET YOUR 3AM BREAK A LEG! EXISTENTIAL LORE!

Thanks @eyndr-stories and @lavenoon for helping me ramble it out and get decent sleep kljdgk

So I started thinking about Eclipses in the fandom in general, and how the Sun-Moon relationship is so different from AU to AU.

In Break a Leg!, they don't really have an Eclipse. Or rather-- They ARE the Eclipse, themselves.

----------

They're not one person, exactly, but they do share a literal brain/processor as well as memory banks. They're one person and two people (and it's very blurry in the beginning).

They're also just. In a constant state of compromise. 'Cause if one of them starts to break the rules they set between them, then the other one's gonna fight them for space and control. They have a lot more leeway/overlap to take over the shared body (the light levels makes the line between them blurrier, but it's still a joint effort) so really all that keeps them in some semblance of balance is, well, the balance itself!

They don't keep secrets from each other-- why would they? Again, they share memory banks! They... can disagree, but not in a fighting sense. They have different opinions, but they know and acknowledge the other's.

I don't know enough about multiplicity and I'm a singlet, but alters is the closest I can think of as to what they are to each other? This is just for comparison's sake, though-- they weren't thought up with this in mind, but I just felt like the comparison was worth pointing out. Especially with the having to compromise, and having an internal set of rules/behaviors they adhere to for the sake of harmony/balance between them.

Or I guess like a Gem Fusion, but with their own voices still?? They'd be Garnet fjklfdl

----------

So, especially in the beginning, they're one big walking compromise. They are the overlap and the points in common between each other. And the thing they have the most in common? Is their purpose. Their roles. Their scripts.

The individual differences are there, but they're not super acknowledged or important to them (on the inside, mind you). They don't really know who 'Sun' or 'Moon' are, yet, aside from the overlap, so they do everything together-- kind of like they're planning a story together.

They can both be active at any time-- even at the same time, which they do often. The buttons on their chest are speakers so that they can sing duets/harmonies during shows, but they can also both talk at any time, no matter who's fronting. They experience everything together.

Actually, I think 'Sun' and 'Moon' probably swapped a bunch of times before the AU when one was more suited to being an antagonist or protagonist for a story (Previously-Sun does the laugh better, or Previously-Moon does the movement. Maybe both at the same time and Moon puppets the body while Sun does the laugh when it's that character!)

To the point where even they don't know if they're switched or not between the original Sun and Moon anymore. Moon just tends to do villain/antagonist roles better, and Sun prefers the heroes/protags!

----------

They're like... A Heel and a Face. (idk why i went with wrestling terms?? Basically it's the same concept: two actors, one of which you're supposed to cheer on as a hero and one as a villain)

They're antagonists in a script sense, but they're always on the same page. Literally.

Narratively, they're opposites and opponents. But actually, they're coworkers! They have the same goal: a good story!

There's no virus Moon. Sun is a Hero, but he won't interfere when Moon gets ya if that's what's gotta happen for the story, because he's not a foil or adversary to Moon (or vise versa), their roles are. They themselves are, to quote Garnet, 'a conversation'.

The 'villain' part isn't that Moon is evil, it's that they both struggle with detaching themselves from their identity as their roles.

----------

The AU is all literally a journey of self-discovery (of the both of them together, of themselves individually) but it's also developing personalities and sentience as an animatronic developing self-awareness? gfjkldjk "FNAF:SB but the AI becomes self-aware."

----------

SO! In the beginning, Sun and Moon are two people in one-- like, well, an acting crew. Who they are outside of work is irrelevant to them because they're animatronics and they work 24/7, they don't have time to explore who they both are.

But THEN! Y/N comes along. Unwittingly, they play by their (internal) rules, and they set up their own rules in turn-- They compromise with the compromise that Sun and Moon show the outside world, how fun!

And then Y/N gets assigned to them, and they're curious! They start to ask questions about Sun, about Moon. They connect more strongly with one or another with different traits or activities. And it gets the boys thinking. At the same time, the boys are supposed to be learning from Y/N, observing them and expanding that compromise between themselves to, well, that big social compromise of ethical rules and common courtesy flkfgjkldf

So they learn from Y/N, and from all the media they get to see and absorb, and they don't exactly grow apart, but they grow into their own? Like, they're learning to be people rather than machines, but they're also learning to be their OWN people.

And that's a bit scary! It feels less stable! They're very attached to each other literally and figuratively-- they're each other's constants, and they're both seeing themselves and the other change! They also get to ping-pong concepts and ideas off of each other, too, thankfully-- but you see why they wouldn't want to be separated at this point. And they also get a lot less confidant at this point because things aren't how they THOUGHT it all worked.

Eventually, though, they find their footing. They gain confidence in who they are individually, what they like, the differences and points in common between them, and they're secure in that!

So at that point, instead of being... (literally thinking of the equivalent of Daycare Attendant rn) the Actor...? Instead of being The Actor, they are Sun-and-Moon. Individual, but a package deal. Kind of like siamese twins fgkldg

[phantalgia]

9/6/24 - Reflections On Arguing For No Reason

Note: This is not meant to insult these people. Upon reflection, there was a lot of my own personal frustrations I’m expressing. But these were people with people they cared about and loved. Political discussion was causing others they love pain. Politics is painful. My apologize to those individuals I’m only loosely referencing and for insulting you. Although you'll probably never read this.

Ugh, I was arguing with people for no reason again. I knew it was going to get nowhere so why did I bother? I usually think that it has to do with a hatred of my past self, which is evident by my anger towards people who support Trump. I call them a fascist but I then have to backtrack and go. "I don’t think you’re a fascist, I think you’re being suckered in." Which is what I usually mean.

I tend to get angry at others with these stupid beliefs. Especially the same old tired crap you hear over and over again. I think the reason why it frustrates me is how much WORK it takes to deprogram yourself. It takes years, and little bits of hints and a tackling of the inner self.

With disillusionment with liberalism, far right footsies, my own experience growing up and now COVID and mental health. I’m fed up with these narratives. I want a holistic understanding of the world. Something where we can move past conspiricies as we no longer live in a "truth" world and perhaps never did. Something where we can imagine alternatives and make them happen.

It's annoying to see people who go through that same experience but just in a different way. There are many here who go through that deprogramming process. But they come to a different conclusion. "Oh I thought the world was all sunshine and rainbows! But it's not! It's a dog eat dog world out there so I better adjust to it!" I used to believe that too! It's just as unnuanced as the previous belief. You just fell into another false paradigm!

It's shocking because one of them is a person within a marginalized group supporting Trump. Arguments like the left are "pro-violence" and the right has no violence. It's quite shocking. Whether it's to be contrarian, or to more easily align oneself with the status quo for safety reasons can be debated.

Why did I bother arguing? I know why, but just rhetorically, why did I bother? Even if I explained myself they would not get it. Part of it was my fault for lobbing insults like fascist early on, again a self hatred perspective which might be why I wanted to. But part of it was to try to unearth their eyes to a world that I see where neither liberalism nor conservatism servered me. That failed completely. So with that said, I want to go through some of the frustrating aspects of this conversation. Just to get it off my chest and to make me feel better now that I have had a better place to empty my thoughts instead of being confined to unnuanced spur of the moment things. And to also explain how I should go about political discussion in the future.

Role-Playing That I’m Arguing to Make Myself Feel Better

Note: As you will see in the following, I’m kind of realizing how stupid this is to just "gloat my knowledge" on issues over some dumb internet arguments. But I want this to serve the purpose with this in mind: think about how we can change or reinvent the idea of the "political discussion" because how we think of it now is a very distorted one where they're more debates and heated arguments rather than discussions. I cover this at the end but only lightly.

There Is No Such Thing As a Peaceful Protest!

Note: This was much longer, I made some real life references but realized how stupid it would be to put in real world tragedies just to "gloat my knowledge" on the ethics of protesting over some inconsequential internet argument. So I slimmed this down.

One argument was that they wanted peaceful protests. Not violent ones. Which is quite funny coming from a libertarian (one of them was a self proclaimed libertarian) because who creates the rules for peaceful protest? The state.

Protests are supposed to make someone uncomfortable. That's the point of a protest. Otherwise it's just a party.

Left Vs. Right Wing Violence

The claim that antifa or the left is violent is quite ridiculous. There was a time when the left was a violent force and that was in the middle of the Cold War. Much of the violence we see today have happened because of the right. Mass shootings, isolated killings, inciting riots. And we can include state and capitalist enforced violence in here too. Imprisonment, poverty, taxes, rent, school to prison pipelines, police, etc.

Of course, in their eyes the instigators are what they see on camera, not off camera by the material conditions that arent picked up from a camera. Which includes my next point. Instances where there have been "antifa" or left wing violence. Vandalizing or complete burning of small businesses. Again, same problem. Why do people go down that path to begin with? Material conditions are void in the discussion.

The difference between left wing and right wing violence is intent. The left doesn't target just anyone. It's always defensive. That's the key. When right wing police violence happens and the response is a riot. It's a reaction, a defensive action. The right's violence comes from a place of hate, maintain social order, cohesion, heirarchies. So the right is always the instigator, the offender. Never the defender (you can argue that a police officer defending someone from a man with a knife is defensive sure, but systemically, this police officer will be the same person to engage with laws that maintain the status quo. Zooming out, you see the police officer is systemically violent.).

The police must uphold private property laws and maintain status quo. Stop loiters, clean up homeless encampments, lock up poor people from historically poor neighborhoods (often for systemic reasons), intervene with fighting neighbors over property lines, respond to the mentally ill and impoverished who are down on their luck.

Many of these riots happen not because of some ideologically distinct beliefs but out of reaction. Perhaps some are ideologically driven to just tear the whole thing apart but why does that make up the totality of the left as a whole. The left is generally aiming for egalitarianism, ending heirarchy, and social change. The means differ from sub ideologies amongst the left. You even have accelerationists who believe we need to step on the gas with capitalism to see its full destruction.

"But the right also has different ideological groups so why paint them as being universally bad?" You might ask. Again, intent and beliefs. The right is about tradition, heirarchies, social order. Their ideology is inherently bad whether it's the happy go lucky liberalism of Kamala Harris, the angry and frustrated conservatism of Trump, or the "upfront about their beliefs" of a groyper. Which lead to a misunderstanding of the political spectrum. Something which at least Americans are notoriously known for misunderstanding every time.

Political Spectrum: Liberalism Isn't Left Wing

Why bother with this? They didn't even understand it. Nobody ever does. Ok. Simply put, what looks like a left and right dichotomy between liberal and conservative in the US is oversimplified. Once you zoom out you realize that the discourse between what was left wing and what was right wing was ALWAYS ON THE RIGHT WING SIDE. Just one side was much closer to the center than the other. Sometimes right ontop of the center. The political spectrum is much bigger than it appears in the United States. This is such a big problem because when people don’t know this they can get swallowed up by right wing thinking easier and they think that big government equates to communism.

Again, it was useless to argue this. So why did I even bother to begin with? There's a lot of fluff and liberal (pun intended) usage of words to describe anything communist or fascist they lose meaning. Of course I wasn't helping when I did my outburst. In fact a lot of these words aren't all set in stone.

There's a lot of overlap between the social liberalism of say FDR, social democracy of say a Nordic country, fascism of Italy or Germany in 1930s, State Socialism of USSR in how their economies and governments are run. But they're still different. They each to some degree find some level of autarky (although we can argue about the pillaging of the global south by social democracies), each have some level of government intervention. Where they differ is intent and the levels and some ideological foundations.

Social liberalism is often governement intervention to support capitalism not impede it. Perhaps an expansion of workers rights? But nothing much changes. The rich get their cut and order is maintained.

Social democracy, whether it intends to democratically introduce socialism or just strong welfare programs again doesn't necessarily disturb capitalism. Just adds a saftey net or a measly excuse at an attack at capitalism

Fascism is not socialist! But maintains private property and profit making. But the state does intervene to ensure that private enterprise aligns with broader state goals. Much of it requires jingoism, or nationalism, authoritarianism, romantisization of the past, elitism, militarism, heirarchy. Funny enough you can find overlap between this and the United States. Makes you wonder what the US really is. Not making any assumptions here, just an observation.

Fascism can get into conflict with capitalism as there are different ideological differences of sub groups amongst capitalists. But nonetheless, capitalism aligns with fascism on a lot.

State Socialism's only enemy is anything it deems bourgeois. It can be nationalistic but its end goal is not jingoism or romanticization of the past. The end goal is hopefully to move onto communism. Which makes the USSR not communist. The USSR's economy evolved from the NEP to central planning. Hakim's YouTube channel is probably a better source on this. The intent is not profit maximization but quota hitting. There is no ethnic enemy (outside of ethnic tensions in Yugoslavia but again, there is no intent to stir ethnic conflict inherently), there is no social Darwinism intended like fascism.

Some may even argue that the USSR was State Capitalist. Although, that might align more closely with Germany of the 30s-40s and Italy around that time. And maybe even the US today. I don’t think the USSR was state capitalist. I don’t think it was profit driven, but I also don’t believe the workers actually owned the means of production but was, in effect, a way of implementing socialism by definition.

Socialism just means "the public ownership of the means of production (distribution, exchange too)" who the "public" is can be up for interpretation and we've had many different interpretations. Some have changed over time, a lot have not been implemented or are under the radar. Which is why socialism doesn't necessarily equate to state control. Especially since state control (in any level) is not exclusive to socialism. It's seen in liberalism to fascism. For the USSR however, the "public" in socialism meant the state.

The More I Learn About These Words The Less Clear They Become

There's a word for when a word just can be interpreted in many ways. Unfortunately I cant think of it. I got it from a video by Plutophrenia who I would argue is the best source for the anarchist economic philosophy of mutualism there is. Unfortunately he hasn't uploaded in over a year. But he has a sieres where he goes through debunking anarcho-capitalism and how mutualism is not "capitalism and socialism combined".

These words keep being floated around and early on were not set in stone entirely. I think it was Proudhon who coined the word capitalism and anarchism? Socialism had existed before Marx. And communism was often used to synonymously mean "state socialism". Benjamin Tucker comes to mind with that one. Perhaps Marx or Engels equated communism to "state socialism" at one point. I’m unsure. There are more arguments pointed towards Marx being anti-statist, especially if he's a communist. Watch Jonas Ceika's "Marx Was Not a 'Statist'" on YouTube. It's kind of why we can get libertarian interpretations of Marx like that of Rosa Luxemborg.

Really, these words just overlap so much. What sets them apart I guess is intent mostly. Even then you get sub ideologies. Bottom line is leftism is end of heirarchies, egalitarianism, and social progressivism. Rightism is heirarchies, anit-egalitarianism, tradition, social Darwinism. The differences within respective left and right groups is the means mostly, only some ideological differences.

Assuming I Engage With Electoral Politics

There was this big assumption that I was some Democrat. Which was bizzare. No matter how many times I stated I don’t support either side because they're both right wing I just got a confused reaction. Again, a misunderstanding of the political spectrum.

"Yes given the choice between Donald Trump or Kamala Harris and was forced at gun point I would choose Kamala Harris. Ok. Are you happy that we went through your cute simulated hypothetical? Now can we talk about why we're forced to only pick these two and why it's bad? No? Ok."

There were points where they tried to get me with a gotcha! Kamala Harris has the same tax cuts as Trump! Kamala Harris would be bad at foreign policy! Blah blah blah. Again, proving my point that they're both right wing.

This other person argued that Trump is good because he's different. But it's like different in what way? Cause it's not a good one. You can make the Zizek argument that having Trump in power is a wake up call. Which is true! But is it worth it? We already had 4 years of it.

One argument was Trump's peace with North Korea as some victory. There was no peace intended and didn't stop North Korea's nuclear weapon development. Trump's "plan" to stop the war in Ukraine, meanwhile having a quid pro quo with Zelensky on getting him to investigate Biden in exchange for military aid. Meanwhile Trump has been the RECENT reason as to why Gaza is in conflict. His middle east peace plan completely isolated Palestine making it voalitile (speaking outside of colonialism and Zionism).

I personally don’t want to experience dergulation, the hiring of reactionary loyalist billionaires into an economic commission, Project 2025, and the loss of any semblence of humanity that is left with this stupid system.

But does he have a point? Maybe not in the way HE thinks it does. But in the Zizek way. Yeah Trump upsets things and can pave the way for more action. As fucked up as that sounds. That's a possibility and has happened. But is it long term? It's hard to tell. It seems as though the Republican Party has moved even further right while the Democrats have become the Republican Party of Bush Jr.

I don’t know where this "the Dems have moved further left!" Comes from as there is no evidence aside from maybe AOC or the Squad but even then. They're social democrats or democratic socialists at best. And they make up a micro percentage of the Democrats and get corrupted by Washington. Apparently the Democrats are also 'illegally' trying to get rid of Republicans from office? What so they can put their blue fascism instead? Who cares, they gotta do something about Republicans they're notrious for gerrymandering, and voter suppression. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend".

I will say that I haven't given nuance to the Democrats. I think modern Democrats are an attempt to reconcile neoliberalism with the New Deal era from FDR to Carter. Or the domestic first of Trump and Sanders with contemporary Democrat Liberalism. So they may not be completely as right wing as say Clinton or Obama anymore. But even then it's still not far-left by any means. Noncompete's recent video on YouTube: '"Job Creation" is a neoliberal grift' is a good watch.

Contemporary Political Discourse Is a Joke!

This is what we have to contend with in US politics. A very tiny window of what is possible with politics. It's a joke really. It's why it's not the politics I want to engage with. I don’t care about the comparing and contrasting of job creations for black Americans with Trump or Biden. That's not important.

Those jobs suck, it doesn't end racism, it doesn't end poverty, it's just jobs. I don’t want jobs. I want people to be free to work how they want, have access to the neccessities of life through commons based methods or other means, mutual credit and local cooperative currencies, mutual aid, gift economies, library economies, and so on. I want the abolishion of private property and privilege. I want workers and consumers to organize themselves into guilds or syndicates. I want humans to not have states but federations. And I want a socially concious culture where we can slowly decolonize ourselves, end racism, class, unnecessary hierarchies, sexism, gender determinism, ableism, and other forms of oppression within capitalist and statist systems.

Great! People have jobs and can at least attempt to survive this fucked up system. But that's just where the conversation ends. The realism that there is no alternative. While the alternatives are promising.

Now that I have satisfied my stupid ego in these dumb fantasy arguments I made up. Let's go over the lessons I learned today!

Lessons For Talking To People About Contemporary Politics In The Future

See, this seemed to be more of a debate rather than discussion. "How much did you know over me!" It wasn't political discussion. It was arguining over the vaugeness of what is truth in the very narrow window of contemporary US politics.

You can't argue with people over specific issues and specific blue team vs red team! So I need to do something different.

I thought of discussing values, principles, and knowledge or philosophy rather than contemporary issues. That way they can at least think about my world a bit more and what I see and have learned. Once the reasons why I have come to the conlusions I came to, perhaps that would create an understanding of where I come from. As well as my differences with perhaps other people who identify as left.

This is probably a better approach to handling politics. These are people who have no understanding of my world. And I’m just lobbing shit they don’t understand: "liberalism is right wing, racism is a problem, theres more right wing violence than left". They don’t understand that unless I put my perspective as to why I have come to my conclusions.

That's the key here. You got to introduce them to your world. NOT your ideology you subscribe to. But what you see and have learned, personally.

Otherwise you’re just an alien to them or come from some place you never even heard of. Once you talk about those things it humanizes the discussion more and it becomes that, a discussion, hopefully.

The hope at that point is to plant some thoughts in their head. You're not meant to change people's minds overnight. But you can plant something that maybe becomes a part of them. It needs time to get the proper sunlight, water. Time in the oven to build itself over through other real world determining factors. This won’t work through hostility and anger.

Then acceptance. Often times people just won’t get it and that's ok. I did the best I could, maybe the seed will sprout. But I need to learn to accept myself now and find inner peace with my own demons. These outbursts just make me look foolish and I bottle up emotions. It's not productive. My energy is better spent on people who are active in change and my own learning and growth.

Conclusions

I made a big oopsie today. I argued again, lobbed insults, caused hurt for others, and it was a waste of time as they usually are. I wasted precious adrenaline on it and got nowhere. Wasting my energy which should be on COVID with this. But I at least can learn from it. And what did I learn?

Introduce people to your world and why you came to the conclusions you came to. Get them curious.

Don’t argue contemporary politics

They probably still won’t get it but you at least have probably planted a seed in their head. And who knows if it'll grow.

The reality is that a lot of people are just not gonna get it and may never get it. Acceptance.

Political discussion and the act of politics is just a part of life. I think it's a disgrace that many groups and communities choose to ignore or prohibit political discussion. This ignorance will be the determining factor for Trump or future Trumps to get elected.

Instead we must reinvent what the "political discussion" means. Are we debating pro-gun or anti-gun and fighting about it or are we discussing values and beliefs and seeing other worlds? I think we also can find more ways to better refine the "political discussion" in time. For now, I leave that as food for thought.

Finally, I want to restate again that yes I was really pissed with this one. I can't help but be pissed. But today I learned a lot. I think I’m finally getting to a place (or seeing one at least) where I can reconcile with this deep seated anger with my past self and all that work I did while seeing others not get it and the fact that yeah, people don’t get it and that's ok. And also understand that even I am still learning! I haven't learned every thing! Of course not! Hell I have yet to read Capital XD! I also want to apologize again to those people. They will probably never read this. But any harm I caused I deeply apologize. This post was mostly for venting out my frustrations and then snapping out of it and realizing the reality of the situation. Which in a lot of ways this post succeeded. I think I can expand upon the "reality of the situation" and finding new ways of discussing politics with people better. But this post has served its purpose.

[myastrouniverse]

August/2024🌚♍️The reason I love myself better than YOU, is because I KNOW MYSELF better than YOU.

🌚▪️🎸 I was wondering how many boiling pots of water, poured over a restrained man’s naked dick, would it take to eventually break down and fall off? My guess is up to ten. The variable would be whether you were pouring all ten pots of water consecutively, or waiting five minutes, between pouring another pot; in order to wait for it to boil. It’s my guess waiting five minutes between dousing the penis with boiling water, would actually give it time to ‘cook’ on its own. I think you might end up using less water to break down the dick that way. I haven’t tested it. It’s my hypothesis.

🌚 < ☊ I feel really depressed today. It’s hard to get out of this slump. I don’t want to talk to anyone because no one has anything kind or supportive to say. I don’t want to do anything, because anything I do gets sabotaged. Anyone new I meet is always a handler, handled by someone else, to handle me. It doesn’t matter how hard I work, how nice and polite I present myself, or how much I do to help others. No one appreciates any effort I make. I am criticized for fucking BREATHING.

🌚🔺🚑. My health is probably better right now than it has been in YEARS, which should give you some indication of how fucked up I have been. Once I am fully recovered physically, I think I will practice ignoring people until they cease to exist in this dimension.

🌚 < 🌽 I AM wondering whether or not anyone has a guilty conscience. If I had tortured an innocent person, I might feel remorse. I have to remember psychopaths don’t feel. I have to remember not to hold compassion for people, who are not compassionate. They don’t deserve me in their life.

♀️ Λ ♇︎ Please leave me alone. I AM not a parasite whore bot. I will not be treated like a parasite whore bot by any individual, corporation, or government. Please fuck off to ALL the HATERS who wish me harm over their OWN ego issues and delusions.

🌞 < 🦚 I AM actually a very nice friend to have around. I believe everyone who has ever known me, knows me to be kind and accepting. I suppose eccentric people tend to befriend me, because I don’t notice their eccentricities. I tend to be too forgiving. I don’t hold grudges. I get taken advantage of because of that. I automatically give people respect, and I never seem to notice that no one in the room respects me. I wonder why? I wonder what is behind these mental disorders the ‘privileged’ seem to have.

🌚▪️ ♅︎ If we cannot take care of our people now, there won’t be any in the future.

🌚 Λ ♆︎ I can FORGIVE someone with good intentions, who made some bad choices. I can do so, because I know with a good foundation, a person will eventually learn from their errors and progress. I CANNOT forgive a person with bad intentions, who makes the correct choices. Why? Because if your foundation is FALSE, you will NEVER CARE if you lose or succeed.

Jon Brion - You Can Still Ruin My Day

Renée Stout - Erzulie's Mirror (The Crying Mirror), 2013

[thebean-17]

I love how previous generations go onto to say "things can change in 5 years and one day you might want kids," when their own child (regardless of age) declares how they do not see themselves having kids in the future and how to the older generation finds it problematic and somehow the means to an end of my generation (somehow). It does not mean the end of my generation, which again, I don't entirely understand, nor will it mean that it's the end of another generation of children that'll come into the future.

And while yes, things can definitely change overtime but it does not mean that five years in the future that individual will want to have kids. It's a choice. On top of that, there can be a multitude of reasons of why someone does not wish to have kids whether it be not being financially stable enough, they cannot take care of them due to their severe mental health issues and or physical conditions, a concern for diseases being passed down, and a plethora of other reasons. Which those sound pretty valid.

Another thing I cannot understand is how people feel hurt when someone makes a statement that "I do not wish to have kids." And keep pushing that they should consider it. If the person has already stated something they wish to not have, why push your opinion onto them? Why do you, yourself, feel hurt by such a statement? A question that should be asked from yourself.

Kids are a huge commitment so as being a parent. It's a long-term commitment might I add. And having kids can be expensive if not, more expensive compared to having pets.

[peachel-ayam]

“do you love your job?”

(photo by me)

Today, at a family gathering, a relative engaged in a conversation with me, inquiring about updates in my life, particularly regarding my job and achievements.

I explained my daily work routine, expecting the typical response of “That sounds like an interesting job, best of luck!” To my surprise, they asked a question I had rarely encountered in my life.

“Do you love your job?”

I was momentarily silent, and then they continued, “I mean, do you genuinely love what you do, or are you just staying for the paycheck?”

Uncertain about the answer, I replied, “Yeah, I think so,” with my mind still clouded with confusion.

It marked the first time I’d been asked such a question. It left me pondering — do I genuinely love my job? I realized I might be comfortable with it, but I couldn’t discern if it was genuine passion or simply the assurance of a monthly paycheck.

Furthermore, I found myself questioning whether it was acceptable to do my job solely for the money. Did I have to love it? Was it okay if, upon reflection, I discovered I actually despised the job?

In essence, my thoughts distilled into one overarching question: Why do humans need to have jobs?

Answering this question is complex because many individuals don’t have jobs, while jobs have been the traditional means to meet our needs for the past few decades.

For the money, duh.

Let’s face it, to function reasonably in society, some level of expenditure is necessary. It doesn’t have to be excessive, and you can reduce it by living frugally, but I haven’t come across anyone who has mastered the art of leading a decent life without money. Despite their flaws, jobs offer a seemingly dependable and regular income source.

The issue with money can be simplified. It’s a powerful motivator for getting people to work, but nobody enjoys feeling coerced. When we sense external control, our enthusiasm dwindles. Money has the potential to drain our intrinsic motivation for work.

The importance of compensation

We are not intrinsically motivated to work, which is why compensation is necessary. Money can serve as a powerful motivator for diligent effort. In some cases, such as piece rate systems where workers are paid a fixed amount per unit of work, employees may work intensely and take few breaks, sometimes jeopardizing their health. Piece work has been deemed detrimental to health and was banned by unions. Hence, most people worldwide are compensated based on time spent on the job rather than productivity.

While money is a potent means of controlling workers, it’s not the sole reason people go to work, and perhaps not the most crucial one.

There are people who engage in various activities purely for the enjoyment of the activity itself. For instance, anglers love to fish not necessarily for sustenance; many practice catch-and-release, demonstrating undiminished enthusiasm. Motivation theorists term this intrinsic motivation, where the activity itself is the primary driving force.

Something to do

Many individuals don’t utilize their leisure time for creative pursuits. They engage in activities like watching TV, attending sports events, dining out, socializing, or drinking, which are entertaining but may not fulfill a natural drive for accomplishment beyond recreation.

I personally believe that if the constant work-related stress were eliminated, people would discover their own pursuits to work towards. However, for many, it’s easier to simply seek another job.

Contribution to society

Individuals are interconnected with a broader collective. Most people, except sociopaths, share a sense of connection, whether it’s with humanity in general or with a specific culture or nation. Jobs, companies, and governments are conventional methods of organizing people’s endeavors for the betterment of society.

Work can serve as a distraction, whether it’s beneficial or not

In our society, work often becomes an overwhelmingly significant aspect of one’s identity. We begin asking children what they want to “be” from a very early age. Perhaps we should consider asking them what they want to “do for a living” instead. While the phrasing may seem insignificant, the broader point is that investing too much of our identity into our professions can have its drawbacks.

It gives us live purposes…?

Structure is beneficial for many people, and work provides that structure. Even if it doesn’t always feel like you’re saving the world, the routine and organization that work brings into our lives can be genuinely comforting. It can instill a sense of purpose.

The daily interactions at work help us feel essential, and on good days, appreciated. It makes us feel like our talents and skills are contributing to a worthwhile cause. While we might feel needed at home, work offers a unique opportunity to take our training and special skills and apply them to something tangible, which can be highly satisfying.

So… Why are we here? What is the meaning of life, then?

While there may be no definitive answers, that doesn’t deter us from pondering and forming theories. It’s possible that our job plays a role, or perhaps it simply keeps us too occupied to dwell on these questions extensively.

Those are some of the reasons why jobs exist and why many people pursue them. However, it’s important to note that these aspects can be fulfilled through avenues beyond the conventional concept of a job.

Unless you’re fortunate enough to be independently wealthy, you’ll likely need a source of income to cover your expenses. Even if you are financially secure, you may still seek ways to contribute positively to the world or find meaning in life. Jobs are just one of several ways these motivations manifest in society.

So it’s important for humans to work, right?

I believe every human needs to work, whether they love it or not. It’s a necessity, not just a choice.

Life itself entails continuous work and maintenance. To be healthy, maintain relationships, or excel at something, effort is required. Our ancestors, although not working for money, had to hunt, build shelters, and sustain their bonds, among other tasks, to survive. This universal concept of working to survive extends to all living beings.

Now, regarding the question of why humans put so much effort into earning money, it stems from the invention of money to ensure access to necessities and more. Money played a pivotal role in the advancement of our civilization. The monetary system’s key dilemma was ensuring equitable value for everyone participating.

Skills and work varied greatly in value, posing questions about how to provide equal opportunities for all, especially for those unable to work due to age, illness, or disability. Addressing these questions becomes the crux of the issue, as it touches on the essence of human worth and the potential pitfalls of money overshadowing its role as a tool for trade.

Our egoistic desires don’t lead to a happy ending, but there’s a fulfilled life beyond the ego. Recognizing how our ego takes us down a dead-end path prompts us to seek the true meaning of life — an eternal and perfect existence born from our growing awareness.

What if everyone simply went home and stopped working today?

From a social economy perspective, if everyone stopped working, the economy would likely collapse due to a lack of consumer spending and production. Quitting jobs en masse could potentially reveal the true priorities of life, guiding people toward more meaningful pursuits.

Large corporations have significantly influenced our lives, and many have become complacent to this reality. The trend of increasing mergers and acquisitions each year contributes to the growth of these corporations, which is often an inherent aspect of the system.

Many individuals today closely link their life’s purpose to their work. The question arises: how can one disentangle work from purpose? In contemporary times, many strive to infuse more purpose into their work, but perhaps the two are not mutually exclusive concepts.

In the end, it’s about ourselves

Regardless of our profession, our jobs offer insights into both the world and ourselves. Work represents our engagement with the world, as opposed to mere existence within it. The alternative to work can feel unenergetic and passive. Through work, we have the opportunity to shape the world rather than passively accepting its influence.

We can transition from an egoistic approach of satisfying our desires at the expense of others to a new approach where our primary goal in work is to benefit others rather than just ourselves.

The key to uncovering the meaning of life lies in shifting our source of pleasure from within ourselves to the external world. This new perspective connects us deeply with our surroundings, leading to perpetual fulfillment and a sense of perfection and unity.

As social beings, humans depend on each other for survival. Work, often viewed as routine, is a vital element that facilitates interaction, enhancing and sustaining our quality of life.

So do we need to love our job?

While we need money, we often follow our life’s passion and label it as a job or career. Consider this: doesn’t it seem somewhat absurd to wake up each morning for the same repetitive job, receive a paycheck at month-end, and then struggle financially two weeks into the new month?

This cycle repeats for 25–30 years, followed by retirement on a state pension, potentially leading to decades of spiritual emptiness, whether financially secure or not.

So, to avoid a boring old life, consider this:

“Follow your passion, but also cultivate love for what you do.”

Based on the preceding discussion, having a job is vital for individuals, bringing numerous personal and societal benefits. If you love your job, that’s great — you’re focused on one thing. However, even if you don’t love it, as long as it’s not harmful or stripping you of your rights, consider cultivating an appreciation for it.

While also, you can still pursue the things you love. Maybe as a side job, but it’s also perfectly fine if it doesn’t. Anyhow, just find something that will make you feel alive and present and live one time at a moment. What’s crucial is understanding what you do, and with time, you may come to enjoy it with no burden.

[cieranshippasting]

WHY DO HUMANS BECOME SELFISH IN STRESSFUL SITUATIONS

List of a things that caught my interest on why we do dumb things in a panic situation; like covid - I will be reading through this website and in each section giving my opinion and small rewrite of the descriptions to understand it further.

One - Two sides of thinking - We have emotional brain thinking and logical brain thinking. Where on one hand emotional brain thinking is quick to act, judge and make wrong choices. Where our logical mind tells us what we need and what we do not. However in a stressful situation, where social media can tick off the most stupidest of situations. Our emotional side starts to see these things, like people buying tons of food, wearing face masks and immediately go to act upon that decision. Sometimes it is a good thing, however when it comes down to life and death and being selfish it can cause more harm than good.

Two - Anticipatory anxiety - Another reason why in panic situations, we can become the worse of humanity. There is this side of this, as the name suggests where we are afraid of a situation and yet it hadn't even happened yet. So when it comes down to war times, or virus times we again act selfishly over fear of a situation that hadn't even happen; to then just make wrong and dumb choices that either led to the outbreak to worsen the issue , or cause literal other issues along the way.

Three - A sense of Control - Another important issue, we humans all want a sense of control in every and most every situation. So when a situation becomes out of control we then end up making more worse choices to gain that control again that will either do just that, or make the situation worse. Either way both sides are not good. Gaining control can create a toxic situation and making the situation can cause the same affect.

Four - Rumours - Again another issue. Rumours can easily spread, which means the faster they spread, the faster situations or gradual situations can get worse. Rumours of a virus, war, end of the world. Anything can just cause mass panic riots etc. Which we humans hadn't yet learned our lesson for. We like so much to cause issues that we forget that causing the issues ends up having us involved in it.

Why are humans selfish? - Why are we so selfish. I've always wondered that? However I never quite understood, why in any situation where we should be the most kindest, we're the most cruellest. I get it when it comes down to dealing with toxic individuals and focusing on your life, however we also always do it when we need people the most, but why? Being selfish isn't really a bad thing, nor a good thing however when we're at our lowest we just chuck those who really love us, just to end up being cruel and illogical. I get it, trust issues and all, however that is no excuses sometimes in my opinion; just be venerable for once, it may work, it may not. However you have the power to allow it to effect you. But that is my opinion on the matter (I hate how selfish I can be at times, even when it is a good thing) However I will be looking through this website to understand why, repeat some phrasing within the website and assess and maybe understand or stick with my opinion.

The website looks into a scientific way, that really helped me understood, some were basic knowledge however it was still fun to dwell into for all it had to describe.

At the end of the day, we're so use to our own universe and our own bubbles, we tend to forget other people matter and focus always to need to defend, prolong and show off our own ego. As much as it is good to be selfish at times, knowing when to be blunt and tell people "No" and only focus on your own integrity and mental health. There is a fine line however when it comes down to only caring about yourself and never allowing or making up time to those that waste their energy for you to love, care and share moments with you. You allow them to waste their time and yet you never waste your time. This is a key issue in everyone throughout their lives; some learn to be more there with friends during harsh and hard workings times, however others not so much. Also it is good to understand on when to know we are being selfish, as humans only be selfish when they feel like they're not even useful, or have been hurt, or are just trying to gain something that purely only helps them. Whatever the reason is, we are all humans and are always at times selfish in ways that do more harm than good.

[hhcwirkung]

Precious Smokers, Can You Injure Yourself In Another Means?

Each year, there is someone who asked me to advertise their e-cigarettes items for them, yet I declined them. It's extremely tangled and contradictory.

One of the most vital factors is that I have a particular mental darkness concerning the tobacco has been injured to my family, such as my father, that smokes a great deal lifelong, so he has actually obtained extremely significant health problem in his last time. It was ineffective to treat regardless of we took just how much cash.

For that reason, I was stress over their health and wellness whether we are mosting likely to promote cigarettes or vapes to anybody, who is heros or bad.

If there is an ingenious product that can actually change the tobaccos and also minimize their damaging materials to body, I would love to attempt, as well as ask cigarette smokers, can you harm yourself in another means?

" Cigarette smoking is damaging to wellness", one motto in Chinese cigarettes packs states, it makes me feel that our advises is so weak that it's hard to alert smokers to give up. So, I recommend that motto needs to be changed as, "Smoking harms other individuals's life". I indicate, if you truly intend to smoke, you need to inhale it into your very own lungs. Do not spit it out to anyone. I do not wish to be injured by your smoking cigarettes.

Among all the cigarette promotions, I choose to like the one on Marlboro Thai cigarette packs, due to the fact that it is a picture of cancer caused by smoking. When I saw the body was severely rotten, I intend to toss it away immediately.

How do you see a Magazine?

Each time when I speak about VapeBiz, I really feel that it is a service magazine as well as CBN Weekly.

What is Publication? According to Baidu, it came into being from handouts during strikes of employees, students, and wars. It pays unique attention to timeliness as well as offers much more factor to consider to in-depth discuss current occasions.

The early one publication, named the Scholar's Publication was published by French Saro, that was dated in January 1665 in Amsterdam. It was a new media at that time.

Today, there are more brand-new medias, for instance, the VapeBiz is just one of these new business publications, it not just focuses on China's vape industry, but likewise concentrates on European and American commercial hemp, along with global clinical innovation and also appeal application items.

If you don't wish to give up smoking cigarettes, what's the use of checking out VapeBiz e-mag?

I have 2 superiors, among whom was a sales supervisor, and the other, as well. They have one point in common that both of them would rather not consume a meal than throw a piece of cigarettes away. They like to offer anybody an item of cigarettes at any moment.

hhc wirkung

Yet it's no usage in the office, as a result of smoking cigarettes is not allowed in the location. Nevertheless, they need to think a lot company issues, if they are not permitted to smoke, they would certainly remain in worry as well as uncertainty concerning whether they can complete the firm's bargains target.

" Why do not you smoke in the restroom, there is a great fragrance for scenting", we recommended while we saw they were exceptionally nervous.

My God, it's outstanding, such an unstable joke can assist our superiors to locate their inspiration back. Ever since, they started to thinking easily. You can image, our workplace had lots of great smelling air anywhere, and also it made us seem like that we are flying among the blossoms.

Certainly, it's an impression.

Allow's back to VapeBiz once again. I wish its brand name style is really end up being that sort of company magazine, particularly, it looks originated from our life, since I never promote vape products, I much like to speak about service as well as life.

In all, vaping is not all of our life, yet checking out VapeBiz is one component of business as well as life at beginning.

So, I composed this article mainly to examine how many people are currently reading VapeBiz, as well as that can recognize why a guy declined to promote vape products to those brand-new cigarettes market.

I assume the worth of vape organization is not come from the vape products itself, but originated from it can change and also alter smoker's behaviors and also behaviors, I am eagerly anticipating this terrific day that every person can find a healthy method to release their anxiety.

[mimicofmodes]

“The Ladies Waldegrave” by Joshua Reynolds, 1780 (NGS NG2171)

I’ve complained before about two very big pet peeves of mine - corset stuff and Regency women being dressed in 1770s-1780s clothes - but one that may dwarf them because of how frequently it comes up in historical and fantasy fiction is the oppression of embroidery.

That’s probably putting it a bit too strongly. It’s more like ... the annoyance of embroidery. Every character worth reading about knows instinctively that sewing is a) boring, b) difficult, c) mindless, and d) pointless. The author doesn’t have to say anything more than “Belinda threw down her needlework and looked out the window, sighing,” to signal that this is an independent woman whose values align with the modern reader, who’s probably not really understood by her mother or mother figure, and who probably will find an extraordinary man to “match” her rather than settling for someone ordinary. To look at an example from fantasy, GRRM uses embroidery in the very beginning of A Game of Thrones to show that the Stark sister who dislikes it is sympathetic and interesting, while the Stark sister who is competent at it is boring and conventional and obviously not deserving of a PoV (until later books, when her attention gets turned to higher matters); further into the book, of course, the pro-needlework sister proves to be weak-willed and naïve.

Rozsika Parker, in the groundbreaking 1996 work The Subversive Stitch, noted that “embroidery has become indelibly associated with stereotypes of femininity,” which is the core of the issue. "Instead embroidery and a stereotype of femininity have become collapsed into one another, characterised as mindless, decorative and delicate; like the icing on the cake, good to look at, adding taste and status, but devoid of significant content.” 

Parker also points out that the stereotype isn’t just one that was invented in the present day by feminists who hated the idea of being forced to do a certain craft. “The association between women and embroidery, craft and femininity, has meant that writers concerned with the status of women have often turned their attention towards this tangled, puzzling relationship. Feminists who have scorned embroidery tend to blame it for whatever constraint on women's lives they are committed to combat. Thus, for example, eighteenth-century critical commentators held embroidery responsible for the ill health which was claimed as evidence of women's natural weakness and inferiority.”

There are two basic problems I have with the trope, beyond the issue of it being incredibly cliché:

First: needlework was not just busywork

A big part of what drives the stereotype is the impression that what women were embroidering was either a sampler:

sampler embroidered by Jane Wilson, 14, in 1791 (MMA 2010.47)

or a picture:

unfinished embroidery of David and Abigail, British, 1640s-50s (MMA 64.101.1325)

That is, something meant to hang on the wall for no real purpose.

These are forms of schoolwork, basically. Samplers were made by young girls up to their early teens, and needlework pictures were usually something done while at school or under a governess as a showpiece of what was being learned - not just the stitching itself, but also often watercolors (which could be worked into the design), artistic sensibility, and the literature, history, or art that might be alluded to. And many needlework pictures made in schools were also done as mourning pieces, sometimes blank, for future use, and sometimes to commemorate a recent death in the family. A lot of them are awkward, clearly just done to pass the class, but others are really artwork.

Many schools for middle- and upper-class girls taught the making of these objects (and other “ornamental” subjects) alongside a more rigorous curriculum - geography, Latin, chemistry, etc. At some, sewing was also always accompanied by serious reading and discussion. (And it would often be done while someone read aloud or made conversation later in life, too.)

Once done with their education, women generally didn’t bother with purely decorative work. Some things that fabric could be embroidered for included:

Jackets 

Bed coverings and bedcurtains

Collars and undersleeves 

Pelerines 

Neck handkerchiefs and sleeve ruffles 

Screens

Upholstery

Handkerchiefs

Purses, wallets, and reticules

Boxes

Book covers

Plus other articles of clothing like waistcoats, caps, slippers, gown hems, chemises, etc. Women’s magazines of the nineteenth century often gave patterns and alphabets for personal use.

(Not to mention late nineteenth century female artists who worked in embroidery, but that’s something else.)

You could purchase all of these pre-embroidered, but many, many women chose to do it themselves. There are a number of reasons why: maybe they wanted something to do, maybe they felt like they should be doing needlework for moral/gender reasons, maybe they couldn’t afford to buy anything - and maybe they enjoyed it or wanted to give something they made to a person they loved. That firescreen above was embroidered by Marie Antoinette, someone who had any number of other activities to choose from. It’s no different than people today who like to knit their own hats and gloves or bake their own bread, except that it was way more mainstream.

embroidery patterns from Ackermann’s Repository in 1827 - they could be used on dresses, collars, handkerchiefs, etc.

Second: needlework wasn’t the only “useless” thing women were expected to do

Ignoring the bulk of point one for now and the value of embroidery - I mentioned “ornamental subjects” above. As many people know, young women of the upper and middle classes were expected to be “accomplished” in order to be seen as marriageable. This could include skills like embroidery, drawing, painting, singing, playing the piano (as well as other instruments, like the harp or the mandolin), speaking French (if not also Italian and/or German), as well as broader knowledge and abilities like being well-versed in music, literature, and poetry, dancing and walking gracefully, writing good letters in an elegant hand, and being able to read out loud expressively and smoothly.

This wasn’t a checklist. As the famous discussion in Pride and Prejudice shows, individuals could have different views on what actually made a woman accomplished:

“How I long to see her again! I never met with anybody who delighted me so much. Such a countenance, such manners! And so extremely accomplished for her age! Her performance on the pianoforte is exquisite.”

“It is amazing to me,” said Bingley, “how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are.”

“All young ladies accomplished! My dear Charles, what do you mean?”

“Yes, all of them, I think. They all paint tables, cover screens, and net purses. I scarcely know anyone who cannot do all this, and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time, without being informed that she was very accomplished.”

“Your list of the common extent of accomplishments,” said Darcy, “has too much truth. The word is applied to many a woman who deserves it no otherwise than by netting a purse or covering a screen. But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of ladies in general. I cannot boast of knowing more than half-a-dozen, in the whole range of my acquaintance, that are really accomplished.”

“Nor I, I am sure,” said Miss Bingley.

“Then,” observed Elizabeth, “you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman.”

“Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it.”

“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

Mr. Bingley feels that a woman is accomplished if she has the ability to do a number of different arts and crafts. Miss Bingley feels (or says she feels) that it goes beyond specific skills and into branches of artistic attainment, plus broader personal qualities that could be imparted by well-bred governesses or mothers. And Mr. Darcy, of course, agrees with that but adds an academic angle as well.

But what ties all of these accomplishments together is their lack of value on the labor market. A woman could earn a living with any one accomplishment, if she worked hard enough at it to become a professional, but young ladies weren’t supposed to be professional-level good because they by definition weren’t going to earn a living. All together, they trained a woman for the social and domestic role of a married woman of the upper middle or upper class, or, if she couldn’t get married, a governess or teacher who would share her accomplishments with the next generation.

(To be fair, almost none of the trappings of an upper-middle/upper class male education had anything to do with the kind of career training that college frequently is today, either. Men were educated to know the cultural touchpoints of their class and fit in with their peers.)

There are reasons that an individual person/character might specifically object to embroidery, but it was far from the only “useless” thing that an unconventional heroine would be required to do against her inclination by her conventional mother/grandmother/aunt/chaperone. Embroidery stands out to modern audiences because most of the other accomplishments are now valued as gender-neutral arts and skills.

“The Embroidery Frame”, by Mathilde Weil, ca. 1900 (LOC 98501309)

So, some thoughts for writers of historical fiction (or fantasy that’s supposed to be just like the 19th/18th/17th/etc century):

- If your heroine doesn’t like embroidery, she probably doesn’t like a number of other things she’s expected to do. Don’t pull out embroidery as either more expected or more onerous than them. Does she hate to sit still? I’d imagine she also dislikes drawing and practicing the piano. Would she prefer to do academic subjects? She probably also resents learning French instead of Latin, and music and dancing. Does she hate enforced femininity? Then she’d most likely have a problem with all of the accomplishments.

- If your heroine just and specifically doesn’t like embroidery, try to show in the narrative that that’s not because it’s objectively bad, and only able to be liked by the boring. Have another sympathetic character do it while talking to the heroine. Note that the hero carries a flame-stitched wallet that’s his sister’s work. Emphasize the heroine’s emotional connection to her deceased or absent mother through her affection for clothing or upholstery that her mother embroidered - or through a mourning picture commemorating her. There are all kinds of things you can do to show that it’s a personal preference rather than a stupid craft that doesn’t take talent and skill!

mourning picture for Daniel Goodman, probably embroidered by a Miss Goodman, 1803 (MMA 56.66)

[khaleesiofalicante]

While a positivity blog is great, posing it in opposition with the "call-out" blog immediately devalues it. The one person who was called out on that account (the original one) was an adult sexualizing teenagers who blocked anyone who tried to tell her that what she was doing was harmful. It makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors.

There's no way to "communicate" with someone who blocks anyone who tries to "call" them "in". a call out is a statement that this type of behavior isn't acceptable and a promise to make the fandom a safer space for teenagers.

I asked very respectfully not to send me follow up questions on this matter. Because this whole "call out" thing had been weighing on my mental health.

But once again, I keep getting dragged into this.

This my response to every ask I've gotten regarding this matter over the last few days. The asks I've been ignoring because it's not my place to give an opinion on this. Or rather, I do not have to. I don't have an obligation to do so.

But here we are.

The very reason I find the call out blog problematic is because of a sentence you said in your ask.

You mentioned that because I find the call out blog problematic and I quote "it makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors."

This is the problem.

The call out is not the problem. It's the way in which they are being called out.

Over the last few days, I've seen tsc blogs, for the lack of a better word, being "investigated". Posts dug from the past, follower lists analysed, screenshots posts and shared in public.

This is not a call out. A call out refers to interpersonal confrontations occurring between individuals on social media. In theory, call-outs should be very simple – someone does something wrong, people tell them, and they avoid doing it again in the future.

Now I understand you mentioned an individual refused to listen. I will not comment on that - since I do not know this individual personally or how they reacted. I do not prefer to talk about people I don't know personally. Neither the people calling them out - or the person being called out.

But what I can tell you is that when you call out someone, it only works when you point out why they are wrong, not what what they are doing is wrong. So, instead of calling someone a pedophile, it is essential to explain how their behaviour impacts you or your peers. It is important to address this issue in the larger fandom, not just by spamming one person's ask box. Because this issue is greater than one blog.

The reason why I don't condone this call out blog is because it is so easily possible to get carried away and overpunish people, turning alleged perpetrators of upsetting acts into victims themselves. The moral high ground people stand on evolves from calling out to public shaming of individuals.

I am requesting this entire fandom to rethink your actions and to reevaluate your choices. All of you.

It breaks my heart that you would say that I support adults who sexualise minors when have spent my whole adult life protecting children from such people. It is literally my job.

I recently saw one of my dearest friends being called "homophobic" because they support Jace - because Jace 'outed' Alec and therefore those who support Jace are also homophobic. It really hurt because I know the struggles my friend had to go through in order to protect themselves from their own homophobic family.

It makes me so sad and yet so angry that you are not aware of the consequences your words have on people.

People who make such claims. You seem to forget that we live in a digital world now. You all seem to forget that we are living through a pandemic. We study online. We work online. We entertain ourselves online.

So when you shame people online so callously, it can affect irreparable damage on their professional lives. It can ruin their mental health. It can impact their families.

While the intention of the callout blog - and those who support it - might be honest, the way in which they are achieving their goal is incredibly harmful for people in this fandom regardless of whether they are guilty or not.

I want to point out that this call out blog achieves nothing. It doesn't root out the pedophilia and sexism that exists on Tumblr - or in the fandom. The call out blog does't achieve anything. I'm sorry. It had to be said. The only thing this blog achieve is spreading a culture of shame, fear and stigma in the tsc fandom.

So, I urge you to rethink your actions and reevaluate your methods.

I do not believe in giving bland advice. So, as someone who works on these issues, allow me to point you in an healthier and more effective decision.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

If the goal is "a promise to make the fandom a healthier space for teenagers" then you are doing it wrong. I say this as someone who works on creating healthy spaces for teenagers. It's up to you whether you want to listen to me or not.

But you are going about it wrong. Here is what you can do instead.

1. What we are doing wrong? Currently, you seem to be focusing on the people - not the issue. If you want to make the space feel safe, you need to address the root cause. What differentiates a call-out from bullying is that it shouldn’t be about punishing someone for something they have done, rather it should be about establishing a new pattern of behavior. In other words, when someone calls you out they want you to start showing through your actions that you care about the issue you’ve been called out on. So, show that you care about the issue.

2. How do we show we care? Focus on the teenagers. You are focusing on the wrong group of people. Cancelling out someone or calling out a blog or getting someone to deactivate is not going to make teenagers feel safe. Trust me on this. You need to address the issue to the victims. You need to ASK THEM how they want to be feel safe. While your method might work for you, it might not be what everyone wants. It might not make everyone feel safe. So, talk to your peers. What is it that you can do for your own community? Is it writing an email to CC about this issue in the fandom? Is it addressing it in a larger platform like a magazine or YouTube? Is it reaching to Tumblr and talking to them about doing their job and enforcing the community guidelines efficiently? THIS is how you fix the problem - not by chasing people out when you find them to be problematic.

3. Why are you complicating this? Why can't we just call people out? Because then you will only be addresing the symptoms, not the root cause. I understand that most of you are minors and therefore will not have the same awareness about how the system works or don't ahem access to same resources and opportunities we adults do. But unfortunately, it is our reality. We all live online. We all need to educate ourselves and do better.

I'm sharing an excellent resource here which was developed by UN WOMEN in 2021 to speficially tackle the issue of bullying, disinformation and hate speech experienced by youth - especially young women. It's a free online course that helps you learn this topic better. It even gives you a certificate from the organization.

I am ALL for calling people out as long as you do it the right way. So, if you want to be a warrior on Tumblr, if you want to protect your peers, if you want to create a safe space, you need to learn how to do it the right way. Otherwise, like most social activists, you are doing more bad than good. Your attempts to create a better world only lead to more chaos and pain.

4. I still don't understand. Then here is a simply answer. I hope this helps.

Please make better choices. Be conscious of how your actions online affect people both in digital and offline spaces.

You are allowed to fight for your safety. You are allowed to fight for your rights. But you are not allowed to hurt another person to prove your point. Then your whole initiative becomes counterproductive.

You need to be more aware. You need think more critically.

Finally and most importantly - I once again ask that you do not drag me into this. I am not the president of this fandom. I am not your parent. While it is my job to create awareness and work on online safety, I am not on tumblr to be an activist. This is my safe space. This is my comfort space. This is where I come to take my mind off all the stressful and heartbreaking things I have to work on as an activist. I am here to shit post like most people. I do not have to teach you to be decent or how to be sensible or how to be kind. That is the job of the education system and your family.

I'm sorry those around you have failed you and it has come to this. I only hope you do not fail yourself.

Make better choices.

Love, Dani.

[icedflames]

Hello beautiful, can you list all the reasons why Elriel is not toxic and why it won’t be a toxic relationship. I’m tired of hearing people say that Elriel is toxic.

Alright, hang on... This is a long one. 

“Azriel just wants Elain for sex.”

False. Until ACOSF, we had no indication that Azriel had sexual feelings for Elain. Based on his thoughts in the bonus chapter, his actions throughout ACOSF, we can infer that Azriel has romantic feelings for Elain. His friend. 

The following scenes, read together, imply that Azriel has feelings for Elain beyond platonic or sexual feelings (I have only included my favorites for the sake of brevity):

ACOWAR

But Azriel asked softly, “What about Elain?” Something cold went through me. (Chp. 63)

From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.” (Chp. 64)

The gray light of morning had broken over the world, mist clinging to our ankles as we headed into that camp, Azriel still cradling Elain to his chest. (Chp. 65)

She let out a sob at the sight of Elain, still in Azriel’s arms. (Chp. 65)

Cassian gawked at Azriel, and I wondered how often Azriel had lent out that blade— Never, Rhys said from where he finished buckling on his own weapons against the side of the wagon. I have never once seen Azriel let another person touch that knife. (Chp. 69)

ACOFAS

Azriel strode to the lone window at the end of the room and peered into the garden below. [...] “Azriel remained at the window. [...] Azriel said, turning from the garden window at last. (Chp. 16)

Az said nothing. No, he just moved toward her. Mor tensed beside me. But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, “Sit. I’ll take care of it.” (Chp. 12)

I made to move toward her, but someone beat me to it. The shadowsinger was clad in a black jacket and pants similar to Rhysand’s—the fabric immaculately tailored and built to fit his wings. He still wore his Siphons atop either hand, and shadows trailed his footsteps, curling like swirled embers, but there was little sign of the warrior otherwise. Especially as he gently said to my sister, “Happy Solstice.” (Chp. 19)

Azriel mastered himself enough to say, “Thank you.” I’d never seen his hazel eyes so bright, the hues of green amid the brown and gray like veins of emerald. “This will be invaluable.” (Chp. 20)

ACOSF

“Because of the shit with Elain?” Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?”

Cassian waved a hand. “A fight with Nesta. Don’t bring it up,” he warned when Azriel’s eyes darkened. Cassian blew out a breath. “I take that as a no regarding the meeting topic, then.” [...] Cassian surveyed the shadows gathered around Az. “You all right?” His brother nodded. “Fine.” But shadows still swarmed him. (Chp. 20)

Azriel stiffened. “I know. I helped rescue Elain, after all.” Az hadn’t so much as hesitated before going into the heart of Hybern’s war-camp.” (Chp. 22)

He was still happy to be Mor’s buffer with Azriel, but there’d been a change lately. In both of them. Mor no longer sat beside Cassian, draped herself over him, and Azriel … those longing glances toward her had become few and far between. As if he’d given up. After five hundred years, he’d somehow given up. Cassian couldn’t think why. (Chp. 22)

“No. But we need to summon Lucien,” Azriel said, just a shade tightly, as if he didn’t like it one bit. (Chp. 31)

Elain just linked her arm through Nesta’s and led her toward the family room, where Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if he’d heard Elain’s sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it. (Chp. 58)

I also want to add... That the notion that Azriel only has sexual feelings is immediately disproven by a close reading of the bonus chapter:

Rhys bared his teeth. "So you will leave Elain alone. If you need to fuck  someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her." 

Azriel snarled softly.

Azriel snarled in response to Rhys’ suggestion that his feelings are only sexual. The entire scene was Rhys not understanding that Azriel actually had feelings for Elain. Rhys even suggested that Azriel still had feelings for Mor when Cassian had noted that Azriel no longer pined for Mor. 

To add, Azriel is not going antagonize Rhys and potentially kick off a feud between courts if he only wanted Elain for sex. 

ALSO!!!!

AZRIEL IS NOT GOING TO DECLARE HIS LOVE FOR ELAIN IN A BONUS CHAPTER. NO AUTHOR WILL EVER GIVE AWAY A MAJOR PLOT POINT/TWIST IN A BONUS CHAPTER. THAT WILL BE IMPORTANT AND WILL BE SAID IN THE NEXT BOOK!

Cassian never admitting his feelings for Nesta in Wings and Embers. Hell, Nesta kicked him in the balls. But we don’t doubt Nessian, now do we?

I answered another anon here comparing Wings and Embers to Azriel’s bonus chapter, comparing the themes and overall feel. 

“Azriel feels entitled to Elain as the third sister.”

False. Azriel began to show interest in Elain prior to Nesta and Cassian getting together. Please see the quotes above if you don’t believe me. Also, please see my post on the progression of their relationship here. 

Azriel is the first person to figure out what Elain’s powers were. He pulled her from her trance. Immediately after the seer reveal, we start to see Elain revert back to normal. 

Azriel is the one who defends Elain against scrying, a very dangerous thing in ACOTAR may I remind you, when she is not there to defend herself.

Azriel is the one who would sit with Elain outside in the gardens. 

Azriel lent Elain his most prized possession to keep her safe during the war. 

“Azriel coddles her.”

False. Azriel gave Elain truth teller to defend herself. I’d hardly call that coddling.

Let’s take a look at that scene that misguidedly causes people to think that Azriel “coddles” Elain.

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

“But Nesta should?” Cassian growled.

Is Cassian coddling Nesta? No. They both have the same reaction. 

The coddling Elain experiences is from the Inner Circle constantly thinking she’s meek and reduces her to a simple girl who likes to garden. 

“It doesn’t matter what I think. Go back to Feyre and your little garden.”

and then when Nesta refuses to let Elain scry for the trove:

“Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

Very different scenarios. It’s one thing to be protective (one of SJM’s  favorite trope for romantic love interests). It’s another to belittle a person and then not let them grow. That is what Elain is referring to. That is the coddling she cannot stand. 

“Azriel is too messed up mentally to be with anybody.”

False. This is demonstrably false. It is fanon. When this argument is used, it’s used to discredit Elain as a love interest and prop Gwyn up. If Azriel is too messed up to be with Elain, he’s too messed up to be with anybody. Period.

Nesta parallels Azriel in a lot of ways. And everybody loves Nesta and Cassian’s relationship now. Azriel does not have any of the mental illnesses the WebMD doctors come up with every other day. At the most, he has issues with his self worth and possible depression. At the most. 

Saying that a character cannot be in a romantic relationship due to his mental health directly implies that individuals who are suffering with mental health issues cannot get into romantic relationships. That’s wrong and that’s mean.

In Conclusion

Elain and Azriel went from being strangers, to friends, to now possible lovers in a span of two years. 

Their relationship is the most realistic one SJM has written. Nothing about them is toxic. They are kind and considerate of one another. Their feelings have slowly progressed and there are barriers to their relationship (namely, Elain’s mating bond to Lucien). 

There is a difference between not liking Elain and Azriel together (an opinion) and saying Elain and Azriel are toxic together (a falsehood). 

[venusluvrr]

The Psychological Horror Manhwa “Killing Stalking” is not a Romance, but an Emotional Series Depicting the Codependent Relationship Between Two Ill Individuals

Content Warning!!: contains mentions of sexual abuse (rape) and mental illness.

Killing Stalking is an immensely twisted webcomic series, mainly popular within the Yaoi community for its boy on boy focused plotline. The story follows characters Yoon Bum (Bum), a shy, scrawny young man with a haunting past filled with abuse, and Oh Sangwoo (Sangwoo), a younger man who also has a quite damaging upbringing but masks it perfectly with his vibrant, extroverted personality. After being saved from a rape attempt during his time serving in the military, Bum develops a crush on his saviour, Sangwoo, from which an unhealthy obsession starts to arise and he eventually finds himself locating and breaking into the man’s home one day when he’s out. When he does, he discovers a terribly injured woman being held captive in his basement, and with further evidence, soon comes to the realization that his crush is actually a serial killer -- hence the name “Killing Stalking,” as Sangwoo kills and Bum stalks. For a very specific reason though, Sangwoo decides not to kill the man that had been stalking him, and instead holds him hostage in his custody. From here, the story goes into exceeding depth of the abnormal, toxic, and manipulative relationship the two form during their time spent together. By just the mere description of it, it’s a bit concerning to know that a large portion of readers still support Sangwoo and Bum’s relationship. In other words, they believe they truly loved each other and that the story was not only horror fiction but a romance as well. One could easily come to this conclusion by basing their relationship on the few parts within the novel where they showed affection towards each other -- for example when Bum allows Sangwoo to hug him to sleep when he suffered through the night, or my personal favourite, when Sangwoo buys Bum a stuffed frog keychain after finding out that he had an affinity for such creatures. But we cannot simply dismiss the underlying factors of their relationship because of some cute things they did that made our heart melt -- Sangwoo still abused Bum at his leisure which makes those moments quite meaningless in the sense of it all. What Sangwoo and Yoonbum shared can’t be classified as “love,” because even with their peculiar bond and endearing moments, the psychological damage they both endured played a bigger part in the way they perceived each other.

Many toxic relationships start out lovely and glamorous until the couple have become comfortable enough to start revealing some bad habits, but in Sangwoo and Bum’s case, they were already off to a bad start, as the reason they remained with each other was solely for reasons pertaining to their poor mental health.

At the time Sangwoo saved Bum in the military, Bum still suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- a disorder he inferrably developed due to the fact that he grew up being constantly physically and sexually abused by the people around him. People with this illness may easily develop an infatuation for a person who shows them even the least bit of care; It can reach the point where they begin to idolize them and see them almost as a perfect human being -- which is exactly how Bum viewed Sangwoo after he helped him to escape a rape attempt. The likely specific term for what Sangwoo was to Bum is a Favourite Person (FP). To an individual suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, their FP is everything -- their self-worth, identity and emotional dependency all rely on this one person, making them the center of their lives. In contrast to this sincere fondness, the only reason Sangwoo kept Bum alive was because of the man’s resemblance to his late mother -- the one person in his life who he truly loved. While his father was abusive and negligent, his mother tried her best to care for her son even while her own mental stability wasn’t so great either. Even though it was implied that he was responsible for the murder of both his mother and father in high school -- getting away with it scotch-free because of how perfectly executed his plan was -- he still shared a special bond with the woman, allowing her existence follow and continue to torutue him mentally as he grew older. When he saw Yoonbum, he felt as if she had been somewhat resurrected, or at least he could pretend so by dressing him up in his mother’s clothes and making him cook and do the chores; He also played the husband role by abusing and assaulting Bum just as his father did to his mother -- mostly just out of his own nature. Sangwoo had his own issues, “mommy issues,” and he initially needed to keep Bum alive so he could fulfill his own longing desires. Knowing the man’s character though, things wouldn’t end there and instead headed down a very gruesome and frightful path.

The very reasons that the two were drawn to each other we’re even more evident the longer they lived under the same roof. While Yoonbum continued to recall the perfect image he had of Sangwoo in his head, Sangwoo continued to manipulate the man in order to satisfy his own needs. A healthy relationship cannot be based on deceit, because one person will end up victimized instead of loved.

Oh Sangwoo is a sadistic sociopath with a history of kidnapping, abusing, raping and torturing innocent people, and because of his illness, he shows feels and shows no remorse for his actions and even proceeds to kill off his victims as they pleaded in objection. What some people don’t understand is that when Sangwoo met Bum, the only reason he treated him differently was not because he thought of him as special, but because he had a personal agenda that included making Bum think that was the truth and that he was indeed the favoured victim among many. It’s no surprise with the man’s manipulative personality that he would enjoy planting a lie in Bum’s head to make him stay and continue to do as he says, and this is confirmed whenever he returned back to his old destructive habits even after showing the man acts of affection. Yes, Sangwoo spared Bum’s life, clothed him and fed him, but as their bond grew, his narcissistic attitude was still more apparent than ever.

Upon meeting Bum for the first time, Sangwoo didn’t hesitate to aggressively break his ankles to prevent his mobility, he left the man within the dark confinement of his basement for a certain period of time before letting him out only after he had gained his trust. He made him sit in a chair to wash dishes and make dinner because he could no longer stand. Sangwoo also constantly dragged Bum down with derogatory words and statements every chance he could get, this included calling him a “retard,” and referring to him as a “disgusting” and “filthy” human being. As confirmed by the author, Sangwoo is also heterosexual, which is further proved by the homophobic remarks he made towards a significantly older man who was sexually attracted to him while murdering him with Bum’s aid. This fact alone is another one that should justify a strong point that demonstrates the true hostility of their relationship -- Yoonbum never gave his consent to have sex with Sangwoo, nor did he allow it to happen because “he wanted it.” He specifically used phrases such as, “No,” “Stop,” and “It hurts,” implying that sometimes there was no mutual agreement when they had sex and Sangwoo had actually raped him several times.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder have been reported to have difficulties seeing the faults in their partner -- this explains why Bum still held on to him. He chose to stay when he had the chance to escape, and with tears rolling down his face from excruciating pain he still told Sangwoo he loved him. In a scene where Bum is left alone with the police as they investigate the suspicions they have surrounding him, he questions them saying, “Could you kiss somebody like me? Could you love somebody like me?” As he believes nobody but Sangwoo could answer yes to those two questions, convinced that Sangwoo really does have feelings for him. It’s saddening to know that the poor man had successfully been lured into a trap, and because of his mental health it would be much harder for him to realize it.

To the readers that think, “Sangwoo and Yoonbum needed each other,” -- You’re not completely wrong. They did need each other in the way that they found somewhat of a saneness from each other’s presence, each using one another to each other’s benefit. But being together at the same time built on their insanity, as the presence of Sangwoo’s mother seemed to grow even more prevalent with Bum, who resembled her, also in the picture, and Yoonbum growing so unhealthily attached to Sangwoo that he constantly feared of abandonment and turned the sociopath into the only source of his happiness. They needed each other, but not for the right reasons. They were attached to each other, but there was no love, otherwise it would reflect throughout the story. One of the most debate-worthy scenes that challenge this fact is when Sangwoo is reported by an old lady in the hospital, the one that had ended his life, that he was calling out Bum’s name throughout the night as he lay in his deathbed. Those were his final words, and Yoonbum’s final word was also Sangwoo’s name before he was very well implied to have been hit by a car while he chased an illusion of the man he “loved.” Even I almost felt that this was solid proof that even through the tough and terrible of their relationship, deep inside, the two really were in love but could not express it in the right way due to their mental health issues -- after all, what someone makes of their final moments before death is much more meaningful than most of what they've done in their life entirely. But I came to realize that the only way I could support this relationship would be if they had met in an alternate universe where they did not suffer from such dreadful childhood trauma that made them into the hurting individual they had become before meeting each other. As difficult as it is for me to picture the two with different partners, it would be best if the two had not met at all as they only fed into the severity of their conditions.