#it's good to try and educate yourself but some people are just not willing to listen

[mysticsapphicsblog]

why must people bicker over whether your existence is more valid than another - don't we have enough shit to be dealing with in the world that we don't need to argue online with people we've never met???

[creatingblackcharacters]

Do you have any advice/suggestions/requests for non-black members of fandom as far as how to respond to racism in fandom spaces? Obviously we shouldn't be speaking over black voices, but it doesn't seem fair for black members of fandom to have to do all the work of making a fandom space safe and welcoming for themselves.

You are correct! Tbh, these are tips for being a good ally in general:

Amplify Black Voices!

Odds are, whatever manifesto you have in your mind about the injustice of antiblackness in your fandom, a Black fan has already said it multiple times. While I appreciate the sentiment, I must admit I'm salty when I see that people are more supportive of (usually white) voices that discuss my lived experience, over my own voice and my lived experience. What does that really solve? You need to be following Black fans too, that way you're actually in the know when these things are happening.

Don't be a Bystander!

If I'm getting jumped and you (who had the power to help) show up afterwards to say "I really empathized with your pain", I'm not going to think "wow they cared, I'm so grateful". I'm going to think "WOW they really let me get my ass beat!" Same idea with this. That's honestly the most painful part for me; it's not the lone racist themselves, but the hordes of people who back them up, and the rest (some of whom you may even consider a friend) who might disagree but say absolutely nothing.

When you see that a Black peer is being railroaded and you KNOW it's wrong, step tf up! Be willing to say "you're out of pocket for behaving this way, and I will not be supporting you now that I know you're a racist". I will never know you're an ally if you're only an ally in your head! It's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!!

It's going to be uncomfortable! Stand on it!

If you share that you're against antiblackness in fandom spaces, but next you're reblogging whitewashed art, or an artist known for whitewashed/racist pieces, or still following someone who's made covert/overt antiblack statements, etc. just bc you "enjoy their stuff"... You're not being an ally. Be willing to hold those creators accountable, and when they disappoint you, unfollow them. Be willing to tell your friends, "hey, that person did/said this thing that was anti-black and were unapologetic about it". And if your friends don't care? Now you know who's around you. I'm not saying it's easy, but... Do you stand on business, or would you rather allow racism so that you can stay comfortable? Because your Black peers have to live under this discomfort you're only momentarily experiencing. It's far harder for me to approach these people and hold them accountable. And if I see that you're still kicking it with known antiblack racists... I'm probably not going to assume highly of you, either.

Educate yourself on what these aggressions look like!

You might not know what to look for, and if you don't, you're gonna miss a lot. What is actually antiblackness will often be posited as "drama" or "fandom wank". Or, if they're really trying to sound progressive, it'll reveal itself as dogwhistles in other important topics like queer representation or misogyny (e.g. how white women often claim misogyny when confronted with their racism, or TERFs). That's how it gets swept under the rug. Learn to recognize microaggressions, learn to recognize the signs. It requires work! Listen to and believe your Black peers when they explain what they saw! Bc trust, once you see it... You'll realize there's a lot of it lmao. And that's what many fans are afraid of confronting.

That's what I have for now, if anyone else has anything to offer. 👍🏾 Thanks for asking!

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get

Lee says:

When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.

Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.

If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.

You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.

You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.

When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.

These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.

So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.

Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.

If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.

Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.

Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.

You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.

If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.

If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!

If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.

When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.

I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.

I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.

Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.

I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.

Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!

Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!

[universalitgirlsblog2]

💖💋🥂IT GIRL ERA 2024💖💋🥂

💋1) Start putting yourself first . Choose yourself Put your own needs and wants first. What do they advice in flight ? First put your oxygen mask and then try to put others oxygen masks. It is not about oxygen masks.

💖2) Get a social media detox. Social media can be very toxic. We often get into fights with strangers or see toxic people in the comment section or compare ourselves with others. Get off Tumblr , Instagram , Facebook etc. It will help you alot.

🥂3)Get rid of victim mentality. Victim mentality can make things worse for you. You aren't a victim of your reality , you are the creator of your reality. Start taking responsibility and control of your life .

💋4) Believe in yourself . Like Elle Woods said , " most importantly you must have faith in yourself." You must have unwavering faith in yourself . It doesn't matter if others perceive you as less , make sure you don't perceive yourself as less. Your opinion of yourself matters the most.

🥂5) Start taking care of yourself. Self care will save you . Always put your self care first. Go to gym or workout at home. Do skincare. Take care of your hair. Get a mini hair spa. Self care will increase your energy and lower your stress levels. It will boost your self-esteem too.

💖6) Create a vision board. You can make vision board on Pinterest or make one in real life. Just make sure it inspires you and reminds you of your goals. Vision boards are very powerful tool.

💋7) Stop focusing on others. Focus on you. Don't think good or bad about anyone . Be focused on how you can make yourself better. If you don't get time to think about others , good ! Focus on yourself. Except the ones who are close to you , you shouldn't think about others or compare yourself . Just focus on how you can get ahead and make yourself better. I hope this made sense.

🥂8) Love yourself. Self love will save you. Listen , write or speak affirmations. Adopt the IDAF mindset , stop caring about others opinions. Don't compare yourself with others. Let go of toxic cycles and people. Be kind to yourself.

💖9) Remember what Jang Wonyoung said ? I DON'T CARE. YOU ARE YOU , I AM ME . ADOPT THIS MENTALITY. Enter your wonyoungism era !! Wonyoung said that if it's something she didn't do , then she doesn't care. That's where her iconic statement " you are you I am me " came from . Start being okay with people misunderstanding you. Don't try to explain yourself and waste your energy.

💋10) Give importance to your education . Education is the most powerful weapon. Read books. Watch documentaries. Study to learn , not just for good grades.

🥂11) Value your time. Realize how important your present moment is. Don't waste time on unproductive things. Do things that your future self will thank you for . Don't do things that your future self will curse you for.

💖12) Have different role models for different things. Let's say for developing a strong mindset , you can look upto Song Jia , Wonyoung or The wizard liz and for academics , you can look upto Hermione Granger , Elle Woods or Rory Gilmore .

💋13) Stop fighting with stupid people. Even strangers online ! Honestly , strangers online can be very toxic , annoying and stupid. Don't waste your energy arguing with stupid people or people who aren't willing to understand or listen .

💖14) Stop looking yourself through the lens of your past self. It's okay if you made some mistakes . Mistakes are the proof that you are trying. Forgive yourself and learn from them. Stop putting yourself down and keep those mistakes as a lesson. Yes you made some mistakes but after those mistakes , you learnt and made yourself better.

🥂15) No more self- depreciating humor. Your mind doesn't know the difference between reality , fiction or a joke.

💖💋🥂This advice is very basic and simple. But this advice will help you alot. Don't just read this post , make sure you follow this. Happy new year !!! 💖💋🥂

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE THOMAS SHELBY HEADCANONS

There is a REASON he is known as the Devil of Small Heath around Birmingham. Pretty much all the men who come for a drink at the Garrison have the common sense not to mess with Thomas Shelby, just by hearing his mere name sends shivers up people's spines and for a reason too because of his dark deeds against people who stand against him. If there's one thing he values the most, it's family. He's willing to kill anyone who dares to prove to be a danger to his family

You were new to the city of Birmingham after completing your education overseas at a reputed university and you had a dream and passion for becoming a writer, to make a name for yourself in the literary world. You were supposed to meet your childhood friend Russell whom you've known ever since the two of you were in your school days as you opened the door to the Garrison and took a shaky breath as you entered the pub and sat down on a stool. You fidgeted with the sleeves of your dress nervously as you'd never had the habit of consuming alcohol much less even stepping foot inside a pub. The bartender Harry Fenton's eyes landed on you, as he had a polite smile on his face. "Where are you from miss, haven't seen you around here'' he said in a friendly tone as you told him about you visiting Birmingham for the first time and how you were supposed to meet your friend Russell. The bartender offered you a drink on the house but you politely declined as his lips curved into an amused smile at your refusal, finding it amusing that even though you were in a bar, you'd refused a drink of alcohol. Little did you know, there were 3 pairs of eyes watching you without your knowledge from a nearby booth

"Oh, she's new. Haven't seen her around'' said Ada to her brothers as she sipped her drink and looked at you with an interested expression on her face. "I know...she looks like a goody two shoes, bein' in a pub an all and not drinkin'' said Arthur as he smirked to himself as he gulped down his beer. "I know...real beauty ain't she?" said John as he grinned and took a swig of his drink as the three of them started discussing about you. Just then, they went quiet when Thomas entered wearing his glasses, his smart black suit along with Polly by his side as the two of them sat down at the booth with the rest of them. "Alfie's men are causing trouble again...need to get rid of that bloody dolt for good'' grumbled Tommy as he fished in his pocket for a cigar and lit it as he took a puff of smoke and sighed. His eyes fell on John who was still staring at you as his gaze landed on you as well and he surveyed you with his calculating piercing gaze. "Whos' she?" he asked the others with a stoic expression on his face as they told him about you and how you were waiting for someone

He couldn't help but feel slightly amused when he heard you wanted to become a writer at Birmingham of all places which was definitely NOT the place for you in his opinion. Yet his eyes never left you, as he kept observing you from a distance. "Oh, looks like you fancy her now don't you?" asked Ada in a teasing voice. "Shut up Ada'' he retorted as he continued to look at you. However a few seconds later he spotted some lousy drunk sleazebag trying to make you uncomfortable as he kept getting too close to you and you had an uncomfortable expression on your face. You tried to keep politely declining his offer to join him for the night but the man finally had enough as he grabbed your wrist. "I'll show you what happens to wenches like you who think they're too good for the world...little brat'' he drawled as his eyes traveled down your body hungrily. Within a matter of a few seconds, the man let out a sharp scream of pain as the whole pub fell silent and the chatter around you ceased at once

"She said no...'' said Thomas in a cold voice as he glared at the man who tried to have his way with you and twisted his hand till the man fell on his knees, writhing and groaning in pain. "Pathetic...next time you do something like that, I'll be sure to actually cut your bloody hand off and feed it to the dogs'' said Thomas as he looked down at the man in contempt as the man whimpered and got up and left. Thomas looked at you as you thanked him and he waved his hand dismissively telling you it was nothing, Deep down, secretly, there was a part of him that was glad he could just help you in time. Your friend Russell arrived into the pub a few seconds later as he looked at Thomas with a slightly pale expression on his face. "How about you be punctual on time and not make a lady wait...'' said Thomas as he glared at Russell before he went back to join the others at the booth and continued to stare at you and Russell talking with each other. He hated the feeling that was rising in his chest when he saw you talking to someone else, it was a bitter feeling bubbling inside him

Russell and you talked about your old school memories and how things were back in your childhood days as the two of you caught up with each other on what was going on in each other's lives. Thomas couldn't stand the way you were laughing at that moron's dull jokes, as he scoffed slightly to himself. He saw Russell hugging you which made him clench his fists till his knuckles turned white and he couldn't understand why the hell he was behaving like this for someone he'd just met. Yet, he didn't like the feeling of seeing you with that dimwit. Congratulations, you've managed to spike his curiosity regarding you so you now have the most dangerous mobster in all of Birmingham at your back. He's determined to find out more about you when he's determined to do something, he takes his task at hand very seriously

He'll have Arthur and John dig up information regarding you for him, everything from your history to your daily activities and your likes and dislikes. He's a complete stalker and blends really well in the shadows, his family don't even call him out for his behavior, they're just glad he's finally found someone to love and don't see anything wrong with his obsessive and possessive behavior towards you. Polly is looking forward to making you a part of the family as soon as possible. He'll start off slow, getting to actually know you personally and talking to you. He likes your company and likes hearing your voice. It soothes him and whenever you tell him something about yourself, he'll just smirk slightly to himself since he already knows everything about you, nothing he hasn't heard of before but he'll still play along for your sake

He'll start leaving little gifts at your doorstep like your favorite chocolates or a pretty dress for you to wear or something like that or some of your favorite flowers. You have a feeling like you're being stalked and when you rush to him for protection, his eyes glint with amusement, oh you sweet child, you truly had no idea. But all the same, he's glad and pleased he was the first one to come to your mind when you felt like you needed protection and he's more than willing and pleased to protect you and keep you safe. Rivals? What rivals? He's Thomas FOOKIN Shelby of the Peaky Blinders, when he wants something, he gets it. It's best if you don't know how many people's he's killed for daring to get too close to you. He'll either send John and Arthur to abduct the schmuck in the middle of the night and take the person to a deserted secluded location where Thomas will just use a single bullet to put the lousy scumbag who dared to lay his filthy eyes on you to put them to sleep permanently

He WANTS you to rely on him, it just feeds into that god complex ego of his, but also because he loves you, in his own twisted manner of course. He hates it when you show interest in someone else who's not him, it's like you're insulting him to his face and telling him that he's not good enough for you. Deep down he's just insecure and he doesn't want to lose you, he's already lost plenty of important people in his life and the last thing he wants is to lose you too

He's a control freak, he wants to know EVERY thing that happens in your life and his men are ALWAYS watching your every move. He finally decides to take things to the next step and approaches your parents to ask them for permission to marry you while you aren't in the house. Your father is slightly surprised to see Thomas standing outside his house as he invites him in and after the usual small talk and serving tea, Thomas clears his throat and decides to speak. "Sir...I would like to marry your daughter'' he said as the atmosphere became slightly tense. "Mr. Shelby, with all due respect, I am a father who wishes the best for his daughter. I know what kind of man you are Mr. Shelby, my daughter shall not marry a man as dangerous as you where her life would be at stake constantly or get thrown into the madness of the underworld. Please refrain from seeing my daughter again'' said your father in a firm tone as your mother agreed with his words. Thomas had to hand it to your dad, he was a gutsy courageous man who could actually stand up to him which would make things far more interesting

Seeing your parents and asking them for their permission was merely a formality, he already made preparations to being you to Arrow House which even your parents could not stop. "Mr. L/N, you are a smart man, a father who's willing to protect his darling daughter and I admire that to a certain extent. Your daughter WILL be mine one way or another, coming to see you was just a mere formality. Good day'' said Thomas as he put on his hat and enjoyed the way your father's expression turned pale at his words

That night after you returned back home from your publishing office and you set your books down, during dinner, you saw your parents looking slightly tense and nervous than usual. "Mom, dad...what's the matter'' you asked them gently as they stared at you with mournful looks on their faces. Your mother took a shaky breath before she spoke "Darling...your father and I love you very much, but you...you need to leave Birmingham immediately. It's for your own good'' You stared at them in shock, what were they saying? "Mom, dad... have I...have I become a burden to you both?'' you whispered as your eyes welled up with tears. "Shush child. Don't say such nonsense. You are the light of our lives but that man Thomas Shelby is a dangerous man...he's a relentless monster who wants to make you his and I'll be damned to let my darling daughter get married to a monster like him...you are to leave Birmingham immediately. We've already packed your trunk, you'll be taking the next train to Istanbul where you'll be staying with your aunt and uncle there for a while...it's just temporary my dear...hopefully'' said your father in a gentle tone as he sighed heavily and his eyes welled with tears too

"Mom...dad...I don't want to go, please...'' you said as you sniffed sadly. "It is not up for argument pumpkin, it's for your safety'' said your mother as she said as her voice cracked with emotion and she gulped down a glass of water. After dinner was over, you sat in the carriage with Russell who helped you with your trunk and you hugged your parents as tears streamed down your cheeks, you didn't know how long it would be before you'd get to see them again. You made it to the railway station and got out of the carriage as Russell helped you with your trunk. "It's for your own good you know, Thomas Shelby is a dangerous man...your parents are right. I'll miss you, don't worry, we'll keep in touch with letters'' said Russell as he placed a comforting arm around your shoulder. There weren't any people at the station since it was midnight but you thought it might work in your favor, unaware of what the universe had in store for you

"Step away from my future wife before I shoot you'' said a familiar voice nearby as you saw Thomas and the rest of the men from his Peaky Blinders gang head towards you. Your eyes widened in horror as you tried to back away from them when Russell stood in front of you to protect you from them. "Leave her alone Shelby'' he said. "Tch...how annoying, you know, I'm not a man with regrets but I regret not killing you that day at the Garrison. Not to worry, that can be arranged today'' said Thomas as he brought out a revolver and after a loud bang, your dear friend Russell was now on the ground dead, his eyes looking lifeless as the blood oozed out from his wound and you let out a scream of horror as tears streamed down your eyes. The train to Istanbul was approaching as you saw the train from a distance and your heart almost leapt from relief, this was your chance to escape and leave

John and Arthur held you by your arms and prevented you from escaping as you flailed and screeched on top of your lungs. "Shhh... don't worry, you'll be happy with me. Just be a good girl for me...I'll keep you safe'' he said and those were the last words you heard from him before a rag was placed on your face and you passed out. His passion for your love is beautiful and terrifying at the same time, laced with extreme obsessiveness and devotion to keep you safe. Love truly was the most powerful force of all...

[herballwitch]

Spirit Work Basics

Hello, My name is Alva Tauri! I am an herbalist, spirit worker, tarot and oracle reader, and lunar and herbal witch dedicated to closing the education gap when it comes to herbalism and witch practices!

Today I thought I would get online and compile my own personal journal entries and rituals about spirit work here for anyone interested in getting into spirit work, soest how you can begin to understand the basics behind working with spirits.

Below you will find everything you need to begin your journey...

with that being said, let's begin~

꩜ "How do I start speaking with spirits?"

The answer to this is simple: meditation and intention.

Meditation is the perfect way to open up to the spirits and say to them, "I am interested in talking to you." It also is a fantastic way to get in touch with yourself and your own energy, which can be extremely helpful when it comes to spirit work,as it can help you gauge when something has changed or shifted in energy around you.

How do you feel your own energy? This can be done in many different ways. For example, you can listen to your own heartbeat, you can listen to the calming sounds around you (water, nature, birds, etc.), or you can do visualization practices (you can find some examples in my post here).

Once you've connected with your energy, try visualizing a door opening and imagine your hand reaching out through the doorway. This is to signify to the spirit around you that you are willing to speak with them.

NOTE: You may not get a response. This does not mean you are failing or doing anything wrong. Keep trying. Sometimes spirits are simply unwilling to speak at the moment, just like we often times need a break away from people. Do not take it personally and remember to remain respectful of them in these moments.

Struggling with meditation? This is a common problem for anyone who is new to the practice, especially those of us who live with mental or physical illness. Remember this: A) meditation takes practice and practice shows dedication to the craft. having to try multiple times before grasping a concept does not mean you have failed, it means you care. B) the literal definition of meditation is "to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness." No where in that definition does it say you have to be sitting, with your legs cross, and your hands on your knees. You can mediate in a chair, on the couch...hell you can even meditate laying down in your bed.

Before you give up on meditation remember why you are doing it and ask yourself "have I tried every method or position that I can?" you can meditate. anyone can. I believe in you and so do the spirits!

꩜ "How do I know if spirits are attempting to communicate with me?"

Some signs are common and will make it relatively easy to tell, while others may be a bit harder to decern. Here are some of the more common signs you may hear people discuss when it comes to spirit work:

hearing voices or echoes (possibly thinking you heard someone say your name when no one is around)

hearing random knocks and bangs that seemingly came from nothing

random works or phrases popping up in your head (especially common when doing some sort of divination work with spirits)

having strange dreams or strange visions while meditating

phantom touches

experiencing the feeling of being watched

These answer may seem a bit vague and, if you think so, that is because they are, unfortunately, vague. This is where the real challenge of spirit work comes in. Your ability to decern whether or not something was a spirit or simply your house settling or you having a rough day that causes rough dreams is paramount in being a good spirit worker and is a skill that comes with time.

Having trouble learning how to decern between the two worlds? Keep practicing meditation, keep doing visualization practices, get to know your own spiritual energy, and be honest with yourself. Once you understand yourself and your environment it will be easy to decipher, but you have to give yourself time, patience, and honesty. This will help you in your journey.

꩜ "Should I use any tools? If so, what should I use?"

While ensuring your energy is in a good place and making attempts to reach out to the spirits via meditation is important, you do not have to use energies exclusively. A great way to help you better connect to spirits in spirit work is the use of tools.

Naturally, the tools I list below are not the only ones to exist. There are hundreds of great spirit work tools out there. However, I am only going to discuss the ones I have used and have experience with today. If you don't see anything below that catches your eye, feel free to do your own research to learn more about spirit works tools!

Let's talk about the tools I use:

Tarot Cards: 78 cards with different meanings you can use to ask the spirits questions and connect with them

Pendulum: a crystal tied to a sting or chain you use by swinging over a board with a variety of different text options, so that when you speak to the spirits they can swing the pendulum in the direction of the word they'd like to say.

Cartomancy: a regular deck of playing cards used to talk to the spirits

In addition to these methods that I use, you may also want to look into:

Ouija Boards

Crystal Balls

Mirror/Water Scrying

Remember, what tools work for me or your friend or someone you know online may not work for you. Find what speaks to you and test it out and, if you don't like it, it's okay to move on a try something else. You need to feel connected to your form of divination for the spirits to feel connected to you.

Remember, it's also okay to get creative, too. I have heard some people say they do divination practices with food or different elements of nature, or runes, or even music (which I usually have on while i'm working). Reach out to what calls to you, whatever that may be.

꩜ "How do I talk to the spirits once they've connected with me?"

That's easy. Just talk to them.

You can do this in a multitude of different ways. You can write letters and burn them, you can sing, you can pray, or you can just talk outloud.

Remember, different places may call for different etiquette. For example, if you are at a graveyard visiting a love one and are attempting to connect with them, you may not want to communicate in any way that is going to be loud or is going to cause harm to the grave or the grave site (take a look at my post about graveyard etiquette here for more information on that). Simply be aware of your surroundings and use common sense. Remember, if you have to question whether or not something is appropriate to do then it probably isn't.

꩜ THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND

Ward Yourself and/or Use Protection Magic Beforehand: it would be nice to believe that all spirits are friendly and have good intentions. however, that is not always the case. be safe and take care of yourself. you may even consider bringing a knife.

Practice Patience and Respect: as I said, not even spirit is friendly and not every spirit is open to speaking. be patient and wait for them and if you do not get the response you want, don't be disrespectful unless you feel that a spirit is threatening you.

You Aren't Weak For Using Tools: don't let anyone tell you that the use of tools means you are weak in your craft. this is not something I have personally experienced, but I have heard some witches, spirit workers, and pagans say that they have experienced this from others in the community. if you do experience this, ignore it. tools are meant to help strengthen your connection. they are not a sign of weakness.

You Do Not Have to Communicate Alone: if you are nervous or feeling uncomfortable, feel free to bring a friend or family member in to help you out and comfort you! and, if you don't have someone IRL to help you, remember there is a wonderful community here on tumblr that would love to help you in your journey!

That's all for spirit work basics! I hope that you found this helpful in your spiritual journey and I hope that you are able to apply this information to your practice.

if you have any questions regarding anything discussed here or if you'd like to make a request to be added to the list, please send an ask to my ask box! I appreciate all comments and questions!

For more information on my practice, witchcraft, herbalism, spirit work, and divination please check out the guide on my page (linked here)! Everything I have ever posted can be found there!

I wish you all a blessed day filled with peace, endless wealth, and eternal health! Until the next time we meet!

[divinefeminine-card]

What requires your immediate attention right now?

Today, in this general reading we shall know what requires your immediate attention right now. Please, take what resonates. Choose the card or cards which appeals to you the most or jumps out to you the most, or any other method if you do one.

Please like and reblog if this pac resonated with you in any way!

Good Luck 🤞🏻🍀

Pile goes from left to right.

1-2

3-4

5-6

Pile 1

Hello Pile 1!

Let's get into your reading~

Cards: The Lovers, 10 of Cups, 10 of Pentacles.

I believe your immediate attention is required by your personal life. Your relationships. I am not even saying any specific one. It's for all. Your romantic relationship, your friendships and your family relations and every relationship which you adore. This needs your immediate attention. Maybe you have been ignoring this due to workload, stress, anxiety and what not. Please try to refocus on your personal life. You will get some clarity for good. And some much needed rest from all the chaos. Your people are there for you pile 1. No matter the actual relation, your people are your family. There are two 10s, so I believe your personal life sort of completes you~ (whatever you perceive it to be 💕)

All the very best 👍🏻

Pile 2

Now onto my pile 2!

~~

Cards: 9 of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles, 10 of Wands, King of Pentacles.

My pile 2, the energy I got from you guys was a scattered one, a stuck one. I feel like, you guys are badly out of touch with yourself. You might need to seriously reconnect with yourself. Even with nature. Do you like animals? Perhaps. You might get significant joy from being in blissful solitude with yourself. Take some time out. Go somewhere, anywhere, even a simple walk will help you. I am getting this again. Do you guys have pets? If yes go with them. Pet, animal energy is very strong with this pile. I believe your spirit guides are looking out for you. Trust in them and have trust in yourself love! You are good, you are gonna do good.

Have faith in yourself 💕

Pile 3

Hello my lovely pile 3~~

Cards: 2 of Pentacles, Page of Wands, 9 of Pentacles

What I am getting is, your immediate attention is required by your work life I believe. You might have several tasks at hand. You might be juggling between them so much so that there is a great disbalance in your life because of that. Your mind is so occupied with all the work you have in your hands that you might not be even giving as much as you want to, to your work and even life circumstantially. The thing you need to do is, clear out your mind. Try to organise anything you can. Take small steps and start from there. Then, maybe the daunting and never ending may not be so horrifying. Balancing is the key here. Take only how much you can do. Might have to say no to a few offers.

You can do it pile 3! 💕

Pile 4

Hello my pile 4 🤗

Cards: 8 of Pentacles, 8 of Wands, 7 of Cups, Death ♾️ Rebirth.

This pile is giving me high school, college, any educational or vocational institutions vibe, AND anyone in a transition phase of their life regarding their career.

So as I said, your immediate attention is required by your studies, decisions and skills. For most of you I sense, you all are working hard and burning the midnight oil lamp. And I am so proud of you for that. I also, sense you might have many options on which way to go. It's just all too confusing. I connect with you deeply on this. What I suggest is, you can and will be awesome at whatever you are passionate about. Like listen, if you like something you are willing to work damn hard for it, you know passion ignites the flames so high and beyond in you all!! This transition phase will prove crucial to you. Think and think thoroughly, calmly.

Wishing for the best 🤞🏻

Pile 5

Hello my pile 5 :D

Cards: 6 of Cups, Ace of Cups, Ace of Swords, 8 of Swords.

My pile 5, you guys might be feeling, very much out of control I think. Might as well be feeling very very much suffocated with everything going around you. You know when the present comes to bite you, sometimes retreating back to older times, to where your heart lies is the best deal you can do/choose. And that's what you need to do. People from past, from whom you haven't talked to in months, years. Seeing photo albums, physical, online. Reminiscing about the past and thinking about the good times might be what you just need to do. Go deep in your mind and unlock the golden memories, who knows you might be in more in tune and control than you think.

Your heart is supposed to be in tune with you ❤️

Pile 6

Hello my lovely pile 6~~

Cards: 7 of Pentacles, Page of Swords, 3 of Wands, 8 of Swords.

My pile 6, have you been getting distracted from your path? I understand, it can get difficult and lonely while carving your path with patience meticulously. But, no one knows better than you on how much this all means to you. No one knows better than you on how hard you have worked for this, and how far you have come with so much resilience. I saw 11:11 right now, this might be the confirmation. Your brain, mind and intelligence will take you far and wide. Have trust in them and in yourself. You are a warrior. Like really, I am getting the vibes. The one who knows all the tactics and looks at the obstacles with eyes of determination. This is what you are. Keep working and going ahead, rest once in a while. You will do good, you will get better. Nothing can stop you now.

I believe in you ❤️

Thank you everyone who saw and participated in this pac reading! Mind you, this was my first pac. Please, any kind of feedback is always very very appreciated!! Whatever resonated, didn't resonate or anything you might want to say with this. My ask box is open.

[princesssascha]

Summer Glow Up Action Plan (1/3 - Health)

As I mentioned in my previous post, we are going to have the best summer of our lives.

I was depressed for years, but during the summer, in just 2 months I became truly unrecognisable.

I did it unintentionally, but I believe I cracked the code to glowing up insanely fast. That is, if you're willing to get out of your comfort zone for a few weeks. But what's worse? Being uncomfortable for 2 months doing something that is good for you OR suffering for years? I'll let you answer that for yourself.

Thanks to my experience I made an action plan to make this summer even better and I'd love to do it together with YOU.

1. Mental Health

If your soul is shattered, your body will reflect that. By taking care of your mind you will automatically want to take care of yourself in every other way. Not because you think you're not pretty enough or smart enough, but because you deserve to be healthy and educated.

Get out of your comfort zone

Whatever that is. Last year I went abroad all by myself. I was so insecure about my English and I was soo socially awkward, but I did it. And when I tell you it was the most special feeling in the world. It was stressful at first, but I came back as a new person. I think it was the main factor that contributed to my mental glow up.

Obviously, you don't have to travel to a different country to glow up, but think about what's something you'd like to try that you're afraid to do. Maybe it's bungee jumping, going out to a restaurant alone, coming up to someone on the street. It is supposed to make you uncomfortable, it's called exposure therapy and it is really one of the best things that I have ever stumbled across.

Meditate

It's popular for a reason. Quiet your mind, control your breathing. You can also do yoga, as it requires the same things as meditation, however you also get physical exercise! Start with 5-10 minutes a day and work your way up to whatevers comfortable for you. You can try guided meditation/yoga for beginners.

Go outside

There's a reason why people tell you it's so important.

First, you get physical exercise, you get fit, you get healthy and everyone's happy.

Like actually happy. Physical exercise (the kind you enjoy ofc!) and being outdoors is proven to be good for your mental health. So go out. You can go somewhere crowded or somewhere isolated like a forest. You can take your pet on a walk if you have one.

Self development content

Especially YouTube, I get that some people can't get themselves to read books, but nowadays there are so many ways to educate ourselves. I will mention this topic again in this post, but I love watching YouTubers that post self development & mindset videos.

My favourite YouTubers are:

TheWizardLiz,

Mae Alice Suzuki,

Tam Kaur

If you like reading I recommend Brianna West, she's incredible.

Affirmations

I am such a fan of affirmations! If you feel bad about yourself start affirming the opposite? You feel insecure? "I am confident" etc. You don't want to affirm out loud. You can do it in your mind or listen to affirmation tapes. Even if you don't feel like it's doing anything KEEP PERSISTING! Your mind will conform.

2. Physical Health

This chapter focuses on health, not beauty, although they are connected. If you're unhealthy you won't be that attractive, because we find health attractive. So here I'll share more advice on being healthier rather than getting a sexier body. Healthy>sexy because HEALTH is SEXY!!

Vitamins and supplements

You can't be healthy if you have a vitamin deficiency. Get a blood test and start taking supplements for what you need.

Here's a little cheat sheet, although please do your own research to be safe and be mindful of what dosage you can ingest!!

Visit a doctor regularly!

If you are getting a disease it's important to diagnose it as soon as possible. In some cases it could save your life!

You need to go to your doctor at least once a year, but you should visit them at least twice a year and whenever you have any concerns. That includes a dentist, gynecologist, dermatologist etc. Although I understand not everyone has free healthcare and there are many reasons why it could be difficult for you to get there, at least go to one doctor once a year or when you suspect something is wrong.

Check up on yourself every month

Of course, you're not gonna go to the doctor every month, so it's important to do a little check up yourself every month. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

- what does your skin look like?

Are there any new moles? Maybe some spots? Just because you have a mole doesn't mean it's dangerous, but a mole could turn into skin cancer, so please be careful! Here are a few tips for recognising if a mole is actually a melanoma:

Melanoma is more likely the paler you are, but no matter what your skin color is you should always wear at least SPF30, although the higher the better. If sunscreens are too greasy for you or leave a whitecast I recommend Missha All-around safe block

Look at your skin, did anything strange appear? Something that wasn't there before? Don't forget about the inside of your mouth or between your toes. Although not very common, melanoma can also appear in your eye, in which case you need to contact a doctor ASAP!!

oral health

I don't think I need to tell you to wash your teeth, but I will still share some tips for those pretty teeth:

Oil pulling: get a spoonful of coconut oil and oil pull for 10-20 minutes. After that rinse your mouth thoroughly.

Wash your teeth for at least 2 minutes after every meal and after waking up, HOWEVER if you eat something acidic wait for at least 30 minutes until you wash your teeth. If you can't wash them rinse your mouth with water, but you should still wash them when you get home.

Use a tongue scraper! Like one of those steel/metal ones and scrape that bad boy. It is honestly disgusting how much bacteria sits on your tongue. There are also 2in1 tongue scrapers and flosses but it won't scrape anything off, so save your money. Also, only use flosses when necessary.

CHECK FOR CAVITIES!!

Seriously! I don't think it needs any explanation. Open your mouth and show your teeth. Look at how they look. If there's anything concerning contact your dentist.

skincare

Although it also suits the beauty part, what we find beautiful is just healthy. No skin conditions, clear glowy skin. What skin concerns do you have? Acne, hyperpigmentation, redness etc. Visit a dermatologist or find some skincare yourself, although do it carefully. Just because something is trendy doesn't mean it's good. Everyone's skin is different, so be mindful.

Also, there are different kinds of pimples, so check which types you have and how you can heal them. You can have just one or multiple kinds.

One universal thing: SPF! CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!

haircare

Just like with skincare, healthy hair is what we find beautiful. That's why I emphasize health so much. If you're healthy you are beautiful.

I won't talk about styling right now as it has nothing to do with health, but haircare is 80% of the job.

Is your hair greasy or dry? Keep in mind it can be both, your scalp could be greasy but your ends could be dry. Do you have thick hair or thin hair? Curly or straight? If you bleached your hair it means your hair is damaged (because it's dead), but your hair can be damaged nonetheless, so think about what you need and find products that were made for your concerns.

Learn how to wash your hair correctly. A lot of you guys don't know how to do it. Just because you rub shampoo on your head doesn't mean you're doing it right. And when you're not it could do more harm than good. I recommend theblowoutprofessor on YouTube, he explains it well.

Healthy eating

This is a pretty obvious one so I won't get into details, however if you guys want me to make a post dedicated to healthy eating lemme know in the comments!

Eat veggies and fruits, limit Ur sugar intake. Don't starve yourself, you'll have uncontrollable cravings and you'll get it all back.

move your body

Although good for you both mentally and physically, it's important to choose something you like. Here are my favourite forms of physical activity:

Dancing,

Yoga,

Pilates,

Walking,

Horse riding.

If you don't have a favourite right now, experiment. It doesn't have to be expensive, there are many sports that you can do at home with no equipment.

Try to move for at least 30 minutes/day.

[nocturnowlette]

Did you teach yourself hypnotism? How would one learn?

I did teach myself, but to claim I started from nothing would be inaccurate.

I had been a subject for around 8 years before I started trying to be a hypnotist, I have a lot of experience writing (and specifically writing and altering tone and text towards a target audience), I had a lifelong fascination with perception and human behavior due to being autistic (this is my special interest), and similarly had an interest in communication which has ironically given me a better understanding of communication than most neurotypical people.

I essentially had every relevant skill before I even began.

That being said, I most certainly took the scenic route for learning hypnosis.

This is the most okay learning resource I have personally found for hypnosis. DO NOT read Mind Play, that book sucks and teaches a deeply limited system. Do not use almost any hypnosis book, because they all just give you training wheels then give no further tools to advance yourself.

This resource gives a somewhat more wholesale depiction of things, but you need to keep in mind that even for the things this guide states in an absolutist manner, there are zero absolutes in hypnosis. It's a vague conceptual goop that is always changing forms for each new person by the second, hour, day, month, and year.

We draw imaginary lines to make it more traversible and understandible, but they are exactly that. Imaginary. Only drawing inside those lines cuts out a lot of potency and possibility.

You learn the guiding structures, but then you need to get good enough to shed that limiting skin. Try new things, experiment, question every single claim you've heard about hypnosis, and build an intuitive learning over time.

And for the love of god, do not use breathing exercises, key elman inductions, or PMR inductions. I will slap you.

Don't be quick to trust scientific claims about hypnosis, as many were made in like the 1970s by some random person called Kim Blorbo (not actually) and everyone just assumed it was correct. I'm not saying to not trust science, but it draws many imaginary lines due to some of the flaws with the scientific process in an inherently vague and line-less place. It's a pseudoscience for a reason.

Don't trust anyone who calls themselves a hypnotherapist.

Don't trust anyone who talks about NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming).

Don't trust anyone who seems to really like hypnospirals (spirals themselves look cool though).

Don't trust anyone who exclusively talks about hypnosis in kink terminology.

Don't trust anyone who never stops talking about how hot it is.

Don't work with subjects that don't have preferences or tastes and only want their self-destructive needs met.

Don't use scripts or named inductions past the first few times you do hypnosis, if you use them at all.

Keep your ears perked and be observant.

Be willing to go out of your comfort zone and introspect.

Be willing and happy to fail, and to learn from those failures, and you will learn quickly.

[justalittlesolarpunk]

I've been feeling climate anxiety lately. I think it's really necessary to change everything and progress towards a postcapitalist future that doesn't endanger our planet, our Pachamama. But I don't see how that will be possible. What do you think about this?

Hiya, thanks for getting in touch and sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. I get a lot of asks like this so I think I might make this another masterpost. Here’s climate anxiety solutions according to me:

1) Accept your feelings. Recognise that fear, grief, rage and despair are all normal, healthy, human reactions to paying actual attention to what is being done to our planet right now. You aren’t wrong or sick or overreacting by feeling them. Sit with the emotions, allow them to wash over you, cry, smash plates, punch a pillow, journal, write poetry, yell at the news, scream in the woods! Trying to repress these feelings will just make them harder to deal with.

2) Recognise that the paralysis of climate anxiety is not a good place from which to make a difference. Try to let horror, guilt and self-blame go, and lean into the love for people and planet that motivates all eco-anxiety. Start consuming good news stories and keying into activist spaces so that you can learn how others are claiming agency to fight this problem, and how you can emulate that. Remember that despair absolves you of responsibility and that true solidarity with the most affected means letting your emotions drive you towards action.

4) Educate yourself through reading, listening to podcasts, attending talks, seeking advice from elders, and more - whatever works for your particular life and circumstances. The more informed you are about these issues the more you’ll feel able to address them.

3) Make as many changes as you can in your personal life. Are you eating a high-carbon diet? Try to reduce that. Are you consuming a lot of water or energy resources? Look for green and low-intensity alternatives. Examine your transport habits and prioritise walking, cycling, trains, low or zero emission buses, sailing, and replacing longer-haul journeys with remote options. If you live in a throwaway culture, try to prioritise reuse and repair over consumption. Consider how your livelihood impacts the planet, and if it’s negatively and making change is possible for you, start the process of moving towards an occupation that lets you make a more positive difference.

4) Fight! Join a campaign group, write to your elected officials, attend a protest, donate money to causes if you can, commit civil disobedience if you feel willing and able. Put pressure on governments, businesses and the public to change their ways.

5) Prioritise joy and connection. Spend time in nature, watching animals or foraging for plants or swimming or walking or just letting it all wash over you. Link up with other people to talk through your worries, go hiking, lobby for climate justice, safeguard ecosystems and pass down your local heritage. Sometimes, take a day or two to check out of all these issues and problems and just spend time drawing, cooking, playing games with loved ones, or whatever it is that relaxes you. There are enough of us that you can take the time to avoid burnout.

I hope some of this was helpful, and do please get back in touch if you have any other questions or queries. You’re part of a huge global community of people who love and revere the earth and want to build a better future for all life upon her. Hold onto that.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Coming Out! As Plural!

[ Acknowledgements: Thank you so much to everyone who shared their experiences, tips, and advice regarding coming out as a system! We read all of your responses and incorporated much of the info shared into this post. Again, thanks for all your help! ]

Sharing awareness of your system with others can be a deeply beneficial, freeing, and rewarding experience. However, it can also be risky, heart-wrenching, and potentially dangerous! Remember, you do not owe anyone any private or personal information about yourself, including your system or experience with plurality! That said, if there’s someone in your life you want to tell about your system, here are some DO’s and DON’T’s on how to do it safely!

DO plenty of research!

Regardless of your system origins, it will likely be a good idea to research all sorts of different forms of plurality before coming out to loved ones. Many singlets have likely never heard of plurality, or have only heard of dissociative identity disorder through media that portrays this illness as something to be feared. So understanding dissociative disorders along with non-trauma-formed plurality could really help when it comes to talking to someone else about your system - especially if your system is endogenic in nature!

We recommend checking out our resource post for questioning systems, which has lots of links to helpful articles on many different forms of plurality.

DON’T come unprepared!

It shouldn’t be all on you to explain every aspect of plurality to your loved ones. It can be a huge burden trying to completely educate someone who isn’t fully aware of plurality and how it manifests! We recommend finding a few articles that help explain plurality that have helped you in the past, and sharing them with the folks you’re coming out to. As a DID system, here are the articles we brought with us every time we’ve come out about our system:

A Definition of Plurality and Overview of the Community by Plurality Resource

DID Myths and Misconceptions by Beauty After Bruises

Supporting a Person Who Lives with Dissociative Identities by the ISSTD

It may be necessary to be ready and willing to stand up for other forms of plurality, debunk misinformation and misconceptions, and set the record straight when it comes to any ableism the person you’re coming out to may have picked up consciously or unconsciously. There are no wrong systems, and society often paints us in a negative light, so be prepared to contradict misconceptions as soon as you hear or suspect them!

DO know your audience!

If the person/people you’re hoping to come out to are close-minded, unkind to those who are different from them, or unwilling to learn about or try to understand the worldviews of different people, coming out to them may cause more harm than good. You don’t want to come out to someone who will only judge you for your system and disrespect you while not accepting you for who you are! Similarly, if you are an endogenic system or a system who did not form from trauma, knowing your audience and their views on nontraumagenic plurality before coming out could potentially save you a world of heartache.

DON’T assume the worst in others!

Just because someone doesn’t know anything about plurality doesn’t mean they’ll always be quick to judge you for being a system! When coming out, you set the pace and control what information you share and when. It’s important to try and understand the difference between willful or bigoted ignorance, and ignorance simply because someone hasn’t been exposed to an experience like yours yet. If you’re attempting to come out to someone close to you, and they’ve expressed kindness and understanding towards, say, people who are very different from them, people who are neurodivergent, and other sorts of diversity in other folks, they may be more willing to learn about and accept your plurality!

DO take your time and avoid distractions!

Try to make sure that your moment of coming out is not rushed or spent in a busy environment. While you certainly don’t owe anyone any explanations about your plurality, if you’re coming out to a singlet, it’s normal to expect that they might be confused and have lots of questions! Allowing yourself time to slow down, explain your plurality in your own terms, and answer some questions that your loved one may have could certainly help them reach a better understanding of your system.

DON’T be too hasty or rush to come out to everyone!

When first learning about your system, it may seem all so new and exciting, and you might feel the urge to quickly come out to everyone in your life about your system. We don’t recommend doing this! Rather, it’s probably best to start with one person who you trust fully, and work your way up slowly from there. In fact, you may decide in the future that there’s only a small circle of folks who you want to know about your system. Avoiding haste, using your own discretion, and being hesitant and cautious when coming out to new people may save your system a lot of pain in the long run.

Take it from us: we came out to a few people in our life as soon as we received our DID diagnosis, and we really wish we hadn’t! We had folks who either didn’t believe us, feigned acceptance while going on to ignore our plurality, or downright cut us off as a person in their lives. If we had been a bit more cautious when choosing who to come out to, we wouldn’t have lost so many members of our support system.

DO manage your expectations!

We’re only human, and the same goes for our loved ones! So it’s best to manage expectations when you’re coming out to someone else. People may struggle to understand or come to terms with plurality. They may struggle with using your system’s name or any new pronouns you provide. They may have difficulties telling who’s fronting, or they may go on to treat your system the same as they did before you came out. We’d recommend having patience and understanding for your loved ones in the weeks and months following coming out. You can gently remind them about your system or help them when they’re having trouble figuríng out who’s fronting. Remember, they might not always have malicious intentions if they forget about your plurality or struggle to keep your system straight. And hopefully, with time and practice, they can grow to become great allies to your system and plural folks everywhere!

DON’T come out without testing the waters first!

No matter how well you’re expecting someone to take the news of your plurality, it may be a good idea to test the waters first before fully coming out. This may include a number of different things you can do, such as:

- Off handedly mention plurality or system experiences

- Mention a plural influencer or creative you admire such as Aimkid or Left at London

- Bring up unique or interesting forms of plurality like paromancy or the plurality of writers

- Talk about “a friend you know” who’s plural (can be real or imagined, but keep it anonymous if you talk about someone you actually know!)

By discussing plurality without explicitly outing yourself as a system, you may be able to get a feel for your loved ones’ attitudes towards systemhood and plural experience. If they react negatively, it may be best to play it safe and avoid coming out to them in order to better protect your system!

DO consult the rest of your system before coming out!

It’s always a good idea to check in with the rest of your headmates before coming out to anyone about your system. Your headmates deserve the right to have input on who knows about them! Some headmates may feel nervous or uncomfortable about coming out, or may have some reservations that need to be worked out before they’d feel comfortable with others knowing about them. And that’s okay! It’s so important to respect your headmates, and respect often means listening to them and not breaking their boundaries if they don’t want others to know about your system for any reason. Show your headmates that you value their opinions and care about their worries or concerns by discussing coming out with them before you actually tell anyone else about your system!

In Conclusion

While coming out as a system can be an incredibly beneficial experience, it’s best to take proper precautions before and during your coming out to ensure the safety of your whole system.

Not all of these tips will be useful for all systems of all sorts! Please use your best judgement and your own discretion when deciding when and how to come out as plural to your loved ones.

We’re wishing each and every one of you a safe, comfortable, and peaceful experience coming out to other folks in your life! Please remember that, even if you are scorned or invalidated for coming out, that is in no way reflective of your system, how real it is, or how you function. You have the right to let others know about your plurality, or to keep it a secret! Whatever your system decides to do, know that we’re rooting for you and we want to support and uplift you however we can. Please take care of each other, and thanks so much for reading!

[creatingblackcharacters]

how can I as a 13 year old combat things like racism? I'm not white btw, not black either

13 🤣 wow. Been a long time. Tbh, the rules of being a good ally are practically the same as an adult. But I'll try to modify. I assume you're asking about anti-Black racism.

When you hear your friends joke about something racist, be willing to call it out. "Hey y'all, that's not funny." Be unwilling to go along with the joke, and if they don't stop, find somewhere else to be. Dismiss yourself from that space. Otherwise, you're choosing to cavort with racists, and the people around you will recognize you as one also. I'm sure that's not what you want to be!

Show solidarity with your Black classmates! I know my school had a Black Students Club; while idk if you'll be allowed to attend the meetings, if they share information, hold events, and discuss important topics (maybe a teacher is being racist), listen to them! Be willing to get vulnerable and uncomfortable and hear what they're saying. You shouldn't walk in thinking "oh by being here, I'm surely not racist". That's not true. But by listening and learning, you'll (hopefully) start actually internalize what it means to be antiracist. And if you're a person of color, you might build some more solidarity over shared experiences and history!

Get educated about the world around you! If the 13 year old Black kids around you are old enough to experience the full, violent brunt of racism (Black kids young as 6 have experienced police brutality), you are old enough to learn about how to help! There are books and podcasts and YouTube videos that discuss these things. Stamped and How To Be A (Young) Antiracist by Ibram X Kendi come highly suggested (the first is a book and a Netflix doc, the second is a simplified version of the original. I enjoyed both).

I recognize every kid isn't safe enough to fight their parents about beliefs. But if you can do nothing at all, start paying attention to how that antiblackness permeates your space at home. In what they say, in how they act. If you do feel safe enough to start those conversations, do so! Say "hey Dad, I learned this today while reading and I think-" It doesn't have to be a fight! And if you feel like it's turning into one, be safe and pull back. But hold strong to what you've learned- just bc it's not the status quo to be antiracist doesn't mean it's wrong.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

I just saw the arcade post and pleaaasee can we get more? Something like arcade reacting to couriers that can speak Latin/or all of the companions reacting to someone that can speak Latin. Ty!

FNV Companions Reacting to a Courier That Speaks Latin

➼ Word Count » 0.7k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Platonic/Romantic

Boone will actually pull a gun on you when you say something within his earshot. Even if it was some off-comment thing that some scholar said years ago. He associates the language with the Legion, so you'll have to very quickly explain yourself before he pulls the trigger on you. He'll hesitantly put the gun back down when you do, muttering an apology as he does so. He does feel bad about jumping the gun on you so fast, but you have to understand that it's a knee-jerk reaction from all his years working with the NCR and fighting Legionaries. He doesn't think he'll ever see the language the same way again. It only brings back bad memories, and he'll probably ask if you didn't speak it as much around him. If nothing else, then for his own sanity.

Arcade is... caught off guard? You're either from some sort of Legion territory or, you're a Follower he's never heard about, and he's terrified of it being the latter. He'll be very interested in talking to you further despite his lingering concerns. If you've learned Latin, you probably know many other things, and he'd love to find out how far your knowledge truly goes. He wants to pick your brain apart and see what's hiding underneath and would be glad, ecstatic even, to follow along with you, just to see where it'd take him. It's not every day he meets someone else who has similar interests to his own.

Raul doesn't really care, he just thinks it's neat. Not many wastelanders he meets are educated enough to be able to speak another language, and he's impressed that you managed to accomplish such a feat. Although, he does wish it could've been Spanish instead of a dead language only the slavers speak. He'll give you shit for it, but he's impressed nonetheless.

Lily doesn't understand a word you're saying and just assumes her schizophrenia is acting up again. That being said, she mostly just shrugs her shoulders and nods. She might not know what's happening, but she's sure that she'd probably agree with whatever you're saying.

Cass just rolls her eyes when she first hears you talking. Of course, she's traveling with a nerd. Don't take it the wrong way, she's not trying to be mean, but what is knowing Latin going to do you in the Mojave? Anyone who still speaks it also speaks English, so it's pretty much useless. All that time you spent studying the language could've been spent doing... well, anything else, and she thinks you're a little stupid for not considering that beforehand. It's not a deal breaker for her, she'll still travel with you, but she's definitely not as impressed as some of the others would be.

Veronica's more confused than anything. They don't speak that back at Hidden Valley, and she hasn't exactly heard the best things about the people familiar with the language. That's not to say she isn't interested in learning more about you or where you even learned to speak it. She's out here specifically to learn more about others, and you seem to be a good start. She'd even be willing to learn a few phrases from you. She's caught off guard but not entirely turned off by the idea.

ED-E will just beep back. You can't fully understand him, and he can't fully understand you. He sees this as a perfectly balanced relationship. Although a few others in the Divide also speak that language, and lucky for you, he remembers where they are. So, he has no issues guiding you straight toward them. Maybe you could be friends!

Rex is more attentive to your orders. His memories from before being The King's dog are a bit foggy but, when he hears you speak Latin, there's a part of him that remembers those words. Or, at least, the tone. Ceasar spoke a lot of Latin to him when he was under his care, and he may inadvertently associate you with the image he formerly had of him: powerful and demanding. He'll be sure to follow your orders thoroughly.

[spacelazarwolf]

Seeing how you're responding to a lot of insensitive asks from Christians, I was wondering if I could ask a good faith question as a change of pace?

I am religiously a liberal quaker, so one of the most important things to me spiritually is learning about how other people engage with god/their higher power. By listening to their experiences and making a strong effort to understand their perspective, I feel more connected with God and my community. Specifically, I want to learn how individuals engage in their faith and not just the "by the book, this is what x religion believes" you find online.

I've always had a deep respect for Judaism, and I want to approach the people in my circle and try to have those good faith learning experiences if they are willing, especially since the Jewish faith is so rare where I live.

Unfortunately, with a lot of my ethos and language being derived from Christ (even if I'm not a christian), it makes it feel like a minefield to even start the conversation. I'm queer, and the man who raised me was native American. I'm very aware of how being connected to Christianity, even only tangentially, will immediately raise red flags for people. And for good reason.

So, how do I disarm myself? I want to hear people's stories, I want to know the Light in them because I truly wish to love and understand them as they are. How do I approach and ask for consent for such a thing without it feeling like I'm waving a torch in their face?

i would start with gauging your level of awareness and education when it comes to general jewish stuff like history and practices and holidays. if you want to get more into the nitty gritty with hearing people's stories you'll need that foundation first if you really want to understand them. there's tons of books, websites like myjewishlearning, and you could even try contacting a rabbi and asking for an in person or phone appointment with them to ask some questions and get some suggestions for what resources to use. once you have that foundational level of understanding of judaism and the jewish people, it'll be much easier to talk to jews about more personal things.

in terms of actually approaching people, if they're your friends, then hopefully they already have a good idea of what kind of person you are and if they're comfortable sharing with you. if you don't know them as well, make sure you're not just going into the encounter with the goal of "learn jew stuff" and that's it. they're whole people, and you don't want to treat them like a jewish encyclopedia.

we can usually tell when someone is being genuine and when someone has weird or bad motives, so as long as you're respectful and honest about what you want from the conversation, and maybe share a bit of yourself as well, most of us are happy to talk about it.

also quakerism and quakers have always seemed very cool to me. i heard it's much more about a way of life instead of a set faith, which feels a lot like judaism to me. also y'all have the public universal friend so u r winning.

[wannaeatramyeon]

i have a silly little (very angsty) idea but im not sure if its what you would be comfortable writing so please ignore this if youre not up for it!

im thinking of gun, goo, samuel, vasco, and eli (seperately + remove anyone u want if its too many) with a recovering addict reader who they thought was clean but had actually relapsed awhile ago and they find out (whether its bc reader ODs, they catch reader high, they find readers stash, whatever reason)

sorry if this is a sensitive subject, they j tend to help me a lot, thank you in advance whether you write it or not.

TW: Substance recovery

Hi Anon, I hope you are doing ok. Stay strong, you can do this. Please ping me if you ever want to talk or vent. I really wasn't sure about writing this because my experience is sorta limited. But hopefully this helps.

Lookism Boys helping with Recovery

Gun, Goo, Samuel, Vasco, Eli

You've felt the symptoms of withdrawal before; the cold sweat, the nausea, the shaking. This isn't the first time you tried to quit but you hoped it was the last.

However, all this was caused by your boyfriend standing in front of you. Your body violently registers what is in their hand before your brain can. Your stash, your just-in-case, and you want to throw up.

You slump to the floor, head hanging in shame. Too ashamed and guilty to meet their eyes, to find disappoint and anger at the promises you've broken.

Gun has seen a lot of things in his life so far. A lot of people addicted to a lot of things, and himself is no different. He thinks about the cigarettes in his pocket, and his own unhealthy obsession with fighting - that he is very willing to give his life up for.

With you, he understands the struggle, the pull. The battle everyday.

"Y/N," he says, crouching down next to you and taking your hand in his.

Your name is soft on his lips, and finally you meet his jet-black eyes. To your surprise you see no judgement.

Gun places a tender kiss on your forehead, "What can I do?"

"Princess-" Goo starts, and he can see you flinching. He can be unrelenting with his sharp words but he would never- Never with you, and never when you're so vulnerable.

His voice softens, "Have you been-"

He doesn't need to finish your sentence and you're already vehemently shake your head. You need to let Goo know that it's not what he thinks. You haven't been using, you've just been keeping that around.

And now you think about the words to explain yourself, you realise how stupid that sounds.

The silence stretches.

"Hey," and Goo is next to you, an arm around your shoulder, "I want you around for a long time and a good time, ok?" He wipes the tears from your cheeks. "Your Goo-bear is here for you."

Samuel crouches down next to you, but you still can't bring yourself to look at him.

With careful hands, he tilts your face up to meet him and thumbs away your tears.

"You haven't?" he asks, and you say no, leaning into the comfort of his palm.

Samuel thinks about what he can do, and after a beat, announces that he's going to take some time off work. Your immediate thought is he's trying to keep an eye on you, he needs to babysit you, he doesn't trust-

"Y/N." And that stop your brain from spiralling. He knows you too well. "You're not alone."

Samuel presses a kiss to each of your eyelid, kissing the tears away, "I think we both deserve a break. Why don't we go away somewhere together?"

Old Vasco would react with anger and disbelief. Now, after talking to you, after educating himself, he tries. He really tries.

Something he had to do without Jace, or any of the Burn Knuckles because he wouldn't betray your trust like that.

And the more he reads, the more he understands. Sort of. Vasco still sees the world in black and white, but more and more shades of grey are entering.

"Is there more?" he asks, and you shake your head. "I'm just going to..." he trails off, binning everything he found before he seeks you out again.

It kills him to see you struggling, to struggle everyday. he wants to support you anyway he can.

"I'll never fully understand but. Y/N. I want to help."

Eli has made many mistakes in his life. He thinks about Heather, he thinks about Hostel, he thinks about Olly and his own drug use.

But you and him, that's not a mistake. That's so far from a mistake.

"I didn't know you were still using," and you hear the question in his voice. His desperation to prove him wrong

"I'm not!" You deny, and it's the absolute truth.

Not since Eli and not since Yenna. And with Eli, the unfortunate reality is that his love for you is contingent on this.

That he won't allow anything like this around his daughter, and you can't blame him.

"Y/N," and his eyes soften when you meet them, "I'm really proud of you."

[sixpennydame]

The Better Man | Epilogue

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Read in AO3 here

“Levi…”

You stretch your arms out to his side of the bed, expecting to feel his warm body. The late fall mornings were getting colder and you were yearning to cuddle beside him. But then you remembered: it’s nearly impossible for that man to sleep more than four hours a night, yet alone get him to sleep in the bed, even when he’s here in the comfort of home.

Our home, you think to yourself.

_____

After the Female Titan attack on Stohess, Levi insisted that he move you inside Wall Sina, on the outskirts of Mitras. It was safer, he’d argued, and less likely to have a large-scale titan attack, as protecting you was always first and foremost in his mind. Outside the capital, on two acres of land, you’d found a small, cozy cottage, the perfect size for the two of you (“Smaller houses are easier to clean,” Levi had noted). It was just far enough away that people wouldn’t pry into your business; a place where Levi could be at peace. 

But in the months following Stohess, there would be no peace for Levi; in fact, you’d barely seen him. You kept yourself busy with making pastries for the local market and making the cottage a home for Levi to come home to. It had been three months with no word, but you knew he’d come back. He’d promised you.

And that promise was kept when he rode up to the picket fence surrounding your home a few months later. He was weather-worn and exhausted, and he held you in his arms like your very presence was bringing him back to life. He told you of Kenny and the MP’s, of the military coup, and Historia's upcoming coronation. His eyes cast downward when he spoke of Kenny, but there was a hope there too; something you hadn’t seen on his face in a long time, maybe ever.

You also had news for him: you were pregnant.

Your tiny bump was unnoticeable under the layers of your late-summer dress, and at first, he’d just looked at you, as if he was trying to process what you were telling him. You thought he was unhappy at first, but then his face softened and he held you tightly, whispering in your ear that this was the happiest he’d ever felt. 

(So there was more than one reason why Levi was smiling so broadly at Historia’s coronation ceremony.)

Finally, it seemed like there was some good in the world.

For the next two months, Levi and the Survey Corps stayed in Mitras, where he became involved in Queen Historia’s efforts to bring all the orphans out of the Underground. He invited you to be a consultant with him, but you’d refused; you didn’t feel educated enough to be in a room full of government and military officials, but at home Levi would ask your opinion on matters. Working together towards making the world a better place, having the man you love beside you, it felt like a dream. And every evening Levi’s hands would rest gently on your belly as you slept.

But no good thing lasts forever.

“Re-taking Shiganshina and filling the hole in the wall should only take a few days”, he’d said. “I’ll be back in a week.”

“We’ll be here waiting for you.” Your belly had grown in the months Levi had been home, and his hands always gravitated toward it, as if willing his protection to the baby inside.  

A week came and went, but Levi didn’t return. When another week passed with no word, you started to worry.

News finally reached the village of the massacre of the Survey Corps and the nine survivors who were awarded a medal of valor by the queen. Levi’s name was listed among the nine. You breathed a sigh of relief.

He’ll be home soon.

When he did return, there was a change, like a dark cloud hanging over him. You understood - he’d lost Erwin, who’d been his guiding light for so many years. And he was angry - angry that he wasn’t able to defeat the Beast Titan, that he wasn’t able to keep his promise. You were happy and relieved to have him home, but he wasn’t fully here.

The cold floors creak as you softly walk to the room that will soon be your child’s nursery and there is Levi, sitting in the wingback chair next to the window. Ever the light sleeper, it only takes a few steps of your walking into the room before his eyes flit open.

“Another rough night?” you ask as you walk towards the chair. 

“I just didn’t want to wake you. You should rest as much as possible.”

You knew Levi felt guilty for not being with you during much of the pregnancy, and so he made up for it by being extra protective when he was around. He’d barely let you lift a finger, which you’d tried to tell him was unnecessary, but did love being doted over. 

He pulls you towards him and you stand in between his legs as he starts gently caressing your belly. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Fine, but I feel huge,” you sigh. “I still have three months to go… how am I already this big?” you ask, hoping that Levi will reply with, “You’re not that big,” or “You look beautiful,” but he’s silent, his forehead resting on your stomach.

“Levi…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” is his reply, but you know that’s not true. He hasn’t been fine since he returned, but what bothers you most is that he’s closing off his feelings.

“Hey,” you lift his head up to look at you, “don’t shut me out. I can tell you’re hurting. Just talk to me.”

You won’t be shut off from the man you love again. You won’t watch him being eaten away from the inside.

It takes him a few moments to respond, seemingly struggling to say the words out loud. “It’s just that everything I’ve known about the world has been wrong. Titans are humans. Kenny was my uncle. There are people - hell, a whole entire rest of the world - beyond these walls. Our duty as Scouts was to find out the truth, and we did that. But without Erwin, I’m not sure any of us know what to do with that truth.”

You sit on Levi’s lap as his heavy heart slowly begins to open up to you. “It’s only a matter of time now before we kill all the titans trapped in Wall Maria. Once spring comes, Hange plans for the Scouts to explore beyond the walls.” His arm, wrapped around your waist, pulls you in tighter. “My life has always been full of unknowns, but this..” he pauses and as you run your hands through his hair. “I don’t know what kind of world we’re about to open ourselves up to…and if I’m strong enough to protect humanity anymore.”

“You’re worried about the world you’re bringing your child into,” you add, your hands caressing his freshly shaven undercut. 

“I’ll protect you and our child with every inch of my being, but I hate that I don’t know what’s coming next.”

Levi has always been so sure of himself and his abilities. Erwin gave him a bigger reason to focus that brute strength. Now, Levi is like an unmanned ship careening into dangerous waters. 

And he needs you to be his anchor.

“The future is scary right now, no doubt about that. There are times when I’m so terrified of being a mother. But when I feel that way, the one thing that keeps me sane through it all, Levi, is knowing that I’m not doing this alone.”

“And you’re right, the world is changing - there’s nothing any of us can do about that. But think about where we came from, and how far we’ve come. Through it all, there’s been one constant,” your hand gently turns his face towards yours.

“Us.”

You lean your forehead against his. “We have each other. No matter what the future holds for you, me, and Paradis, I will be by your side.”

Levi’s shoulders drop as he lays his head on your chest. You love this man deeply and you know he loves you too. 

And whatever happens, you’ll face it together.

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