#it's not a psychological issue

[gefuehlsgelaehmt]

being with someone that heals your inner child >>

[agoddamnrayofsunshine]

Hey just to ruin your day I want you guys to remember that before Drake in the second book Andrew had been making genuine steps towards recovery even if we didn’t get to see it very closely

Andrew being on his meds for the first and second book make it hard to see, especially since we didn’t meet him before he was on his meds but it can be inferred that he was making real progress on reclaiming his autonomy

He went to therapy regularly in which he actually talked to and got along with his therapist. He was able to have an ongoing relationship with Roland, and even though he insisted on using handcuffs that’s actually a healthy coping mechanism (he was able to recognise a problem which caused him distress aka people touching him without permission and applied a non-harmful solution which allowed him to continue without running away that’s the definition of learning to cope), he was not actively self-harming which we know by the fact that he has scars, not wounds, scratches or anything else, just healed scars. He was also able to accept and embrace his sexuality despite his history. He still has suicidal ideation but he is no longer practicing suicidal tendencies, which is genuinely huge progress

His biggest issues during the book are his meds (which seem to make it harder for him to regulate his emotions and his reactions and therefore causes him to the extreme measures which are familiar to him aka violence) and his relationship with Aaron/Kevin caused by an unhealthy desire to protect people. He was making an actual recovery, albeit a slow one, which just makes what happens to him all the more horrible

During the second book it had been seven years since he experienced that kind of abuse, seven years in which he clearly was slowly getting better only to be retraumatised again

Just

I think about this all the time I need to inflict this onto someone else

[hussyknee]

DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.

An abuser denies the abuse ever took place, attacks the person that was abused (often the victim) for attempting to hold the abuser accountable for their actions, and claims that they are actually the victim in the situation, thus reversing what may be a reality of victim and offender. It often involves not just "playing the victim" but also victim blaming.

TL;Dr: Stop pathologizing neurodivergent people and individualizing abuse, and start treating abusers and bullies as a social failing that are products of privilege.

Unless you want to insist that every bitchass who's ever plagued marginalized people has NPD.

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

gee i wonder if the issue could be at all related to the fact that the current treatment plan for his chronic pain consists solely of FUCKING IBUPROFEN

[imaybe5tupid]

Touden observations

(I hc them as fantasy Norwegian)

[murk888]

Aro 👉👈

I DIDN'T HAVE MY TWILIGHT STAGE IN TIME, OKAY?!? Now I watch the films while dying from laughter most of the time, their faces I can't-

MICHAEL SHEEN >>>>> 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

[equill]

Another Otsutsuki?!

we’re messing up the timeline for this one. (I lost this crack idea but then it came back… the abyss stare back and I jumped in.)

anyways, now some kids meeting the new kid

Panel 1: There’s something wrong here.

Comic 1: Attention.

they’re both in the same boat

Comic 2: Day Off (with confusion.)

he just a little insecure,, (kakashi still told him to get it together)

back to the future now

Comic 3: What. (huh?)

Panel 2: very tiny.

[rorah]

The mentally stable Dimitri Fire emblem 3 hopes.

It surprises me that there's still ppl claiming so, but then I remember we're talking about 3h interpretations and I have to make peace with it.

But that doesn't stop me from venting a little bit in this little space I have lol. Actually, it dries me and makes me feel bad to bring this up because I will have to talk bad about Dedue, and I don't want to talk Bad about Dedue. He's a genuinely good boy. But "Human" nonetheless, which means Flaws. I like Felix too but he's become some sort of a clown that doesn't make me feel too bad. I like Felix tho, In a different way.

Mostly talking about these two because the take that "Dimitri has better support system" baffles me because, technically, these two are his support system in HopesVerse. The persons who Dimitri relays on and seek solace/advice/support. The rest doesn't really tackle any of his personal struggles (aside from the Mage!Mitri frustrated dream, but that's out of the bad equation in our 'mentally unwell' set of pixels, and Shez only has a glimpse). Contrary, to Houses verse where the whole blue lions cast knew about his shit, didn't know what to do, but didn't leave either.

I tackled this topic with other person on Twitter who was (or still is) on board with this take and the phrase they used was They contained him better, which of course I agree and remarked that was exactly the problem. Contain him is gonna be contra productive. I used a water dam analogy, where the structure of such dam is damaged, and the pressure of water keeps accumulating. Causing a foreseeable damage for the dam itself and the surroundings. You don't need to be a genius to understand it, you need experience or knowledge for mental ill topics tho.

I really don't want to extend so much on here because it's mostly just, rant format more than a proper analysis so I just want to point out these two things in their support conversations.

First, Dedue. Encourage him to keep on the vengeful path. Which we know was the final goal of Azure Moon and if you payed attention to 3 houses message. The whole Vengeful argument was something Bad, to keep it simple. Despite Dimitri actively looking for answers/guidance for something that, in a rational state he can see clearly like vengeance will consume his life (also Shez and Felix called out this behavior). Dedue answer only encourage him to keep on that path, because he would do that 💔. Presenting 2 oposite views is a great formula for confusion and disorientation. Now, Dedue's role is primary SUPPORT, not guidance nor orientation. He will support his shit no matter what, and we are quite aware of that if played Houses.

Second, Felix. Felix is a special case. He is smart but also an idiot lacks A LOT of soft skills to actually be of help. He's the only one who knows in this verse about Dimitri having a mental issue. In their A support to say the least, so they don't close or solve anything. What makes it more worrisome is the fact that Felix conceals the issue as a secret.

"So try to keep that whole "removing their heads" thing in check, yeah? We can just call it our little secret."

this extract here makes me feel so unwell 😭help

The whole burden falls over him and his lack of skills and wisdom on the matter will be too much for him later on. He at least, will be able to recognize that the problem is beyond of his capabilities and will look for help. Felix himself has his own issues and journey where he needs to learn. He's forced to get pass beyond some of his angry teen behavior but hasn't completely get over it.

There is a lot more to tackle, but that requires more work and time. What are the topics some of you think is important to cover around understanding the Hopes verse resolution? Dimitri's route? something? Do you think the route without Byleth is better? With that being said, I would like to delve deeper into character analysis, and the role each played for the Lords too. That also requires to talk about the Byleth and needs a whole analysis on their own, which requires time (which i don't have much lol) To end this vent, I would like to encourage people to do a little research for the terminology they're using like "Support System". Who makes it up and how it operates successfully. The fact that ppl saying "he has better support system" only because he didn't go feral on the run alone is not entirely valid. A reminder that people can feel alone with or without people around them. And containing the issue within doesn't solve any problem. At best, it's presented later. At worse, it gets worse.

[cubedmango]

mr. down horrendous 💘

[skaldish]

...Can we talk more about how the US economy basically relies on the psychology of resource scarcity to function as an economic model?

"Resource scarcity" is a situation where we lack sufficient, reliable, and/or consistent access to one or multiple things critical for human development and livelihoods, whether it's food, housing, money, community love, sleep, comfort, bodily autonomy and freedom, the freedom of expression, the freedom to authentically engage with the world, or something else.

Chronic resource scarcity does something very fucky with our psychology. We stop operating from a place of curiosity and start operating from the desire to acquire, to pursue, and to win. Our focus narrows. We stop thinking of things in terms of interrelationships, and start thinking of things in terms of "how do I get from point A to point B?"

USAmerican culture tends to paint a "competitive nature" as a noble characteristic. But I'm starting to wonder if the kind of thrill-seeking behavior we see associated with competition is not just the behavior of a starving persistence hunter.

(Even the rich experience scarcity, in the form of the fact they constantly have to earn and maintain their worth in order to stay in their communities.)

When people have resource security, they are at ease. They are open, relaxed, inviting of silliness and playfulness, and their priorities turn to activities of personal development, innovation, and life-enrichment.

Operating from resource scarcity makes people less discerning, less considerate, more emotionally volatile, more one-track-minded, and far more spendthrifty. It's not a moral or intellectual failing on our part either. It's literally instincts kicking in because we're regularly lacking something we need to maintain our human condition.

I think the reason why many people defend keeping a competition-based society is because they want to secure their ability to gather resources, not realizing that social animals aren't interested in being competitive with members of their own species unless resource scarcity is involved.

I already figured "We can't afford to have universal basic income" didn't actually mean "Universal basic income costs too much."

But now I'm beginning to think it means "Universal basic income would change US consumer behavior patterns, which would change the mechanics we've developed around money-making, and this would render our current profit-making strategies obsolete."

And I think we should be talking about this psychological fuckery 24/7.

[tornado1992]

Tails getting separation anxiety after Sonic Forces (beacuse what the hell do you mean his big brother that he thought DIED because of him was actually being held prisoner and tortured for six months in which he couldn’t do anything to help him because he didn’t know) but won’t ever tell Sonic beacuse he knows his brother doesn’t want to be stated in one place now more than ever, he wants to go around, see the world he missed for six months, he needs to run, and even though he offered him to come along he “doesn’t want to be clingy”.

Tails won’t ever hold him back or slow him down, he never has. even if it’s killing him inside.

[emimii]

i luv drawing over things and making shit posts

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

[ Source: EPATH Conference 2019. ]

Apparently being a regular teenager is a disorder requiring medical treatment and the removal of body parts. Not only are you "trans" if you don't fit a 1950s Barbie/G.I. Joe stereotype, you're "trans" if you don't fit a 1950s "golly, gee" soda shoppe "Leave It To Beaver" stereotype.

This is the same tactic psychics use to tell you your fortune, and astrologers use to convince you that distant stars reflect your personality. It's called the Forer Effect, or Barnum Effect.

To really drive home the cult programming, any time you're feeling better, that's how you know you've gotten worse.

For political and ideological reasons - for example, one presenter actually claims that children are being "misdiagnosed" as autistic when they're actually trans - they've flipped the symptom and the cause.

This is more accurate:

[vesora]

dealing with fear of abandonment through LOA + general tips

personal backstory / long post ahead

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” ― Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune

as a child, my needs were not met and therefore, i developed a schema that people were meant to disappoint me and leave me and my relationships, both platonic and romantic reflected EXACTLY that.

countless times, i was ‘left’ without any reason, always strengthening the notion i had always felt that people were meant to abandon me. even if i was close to someone, i would still engage in self-sabotaging behaviours when i felt disappointed by the expectations i had set for them. feeling this lack of control when it came to relationships because i was so deathly afraid of being left alone; of disappointing the other. not putting myself first because i felt the only sense of worth i had was through whether another found me worthy. this is all very hard for me to say of course, im a private person but i felt maybe someone at least needed to hear this. my parent would be nice at one point and disinterested in the other, i felt i had to work to gain their approval and for them to be nice to me all the time. i needed them to view me as perfect, so they wouldn’t leave me. but guess what guys? thats stupid, bcos fuck perfection.

in my abandonment activation strategies/self-sabotaging behaviours, my body would go into a state of desperation, in dire need of any sort of relief and safety, crying my heart out because i was so scared, leaving people because i was scared of being left first. being scared i was being clingy by asking for reassurance which in turn sends me into another frenzy, isolating myself from people so i have no chances to be hurt, feeling resentment when someone doesnt meet my expectations/needs through no fault of their own. my inner child would just take over my body, repeating the same distress i experienced as a kid. 

but i am not a kid anymore. i am a well-functioning adult and i cannot continue this abandonment schema. so what do i do?

i use loa. 

how to use loa + general tips for this:

recognise that everything and everyone is you pushed out. your relationships play out the way you assume they will. this is not to say at all what happened when you were a child was your fault. we are not to blame. our needs were simply not met.

change the way you view relationships, no matter how hard it may be. if everyone is just us, how can anyone else abandon us? not even that, why would anyone leave us? we are amazing and fun and good people

be someone YOU are proud of, irrespective of what other people think. all is mind, so why do you think you need to impress someone who’s just another part of you? a part that can easily be molded

you are not clingy. you are not desperate. you are not unworthy. you are not unlovable. repeat affirmations that you are lovable. that you deserve to have your needs met. that everyone meets your needs. that you never feel abandoned. that you love yourself unconditionally. YOU are on the pedestal, NOT anyone else.

if someone is emotionally unavailable, this DOES NOT mean they do not love or care about you! they might be busy, not be well-versed with showing emotions in a healthy way, express their love in a different way than yours or they may simply be going through something in their lives right now. 

when this happens, you can talk to the person about it and usually in my experience, the person understands and reassures me that they still love me and that we are okay. if a person is not willing to make sure you are okay, maybe rethink their position in your lives. you are the pedestal, not them. now just because someone reassures you doesn’t mean you don’t work on yourself. you do work on yourself through LOA and useful strategies.

take deep belly breaths when you feel yourself get triggered. it is okay. you are going to be okay, i promise. the next day im sure you will feel fine. it is not the end of the world, i promise you. the world IS you. just change it.

reassure your inner child and your adult self that you are okay now. you are the best version of yourself right now. you are safe. you are secure. you are not in danger. your life is in YOUR hands. YOU are in control. YOU created this life. the only way to change it is within.

if you feel impatient and you want things to change IMMEDIATELY, i.e. when youre having a panic attack, take deep breaths and remember this is temporary. remember you are in control of what happens but also do not be attached to any outcome, just have faith that everything works out in your favour.

if you feel resentment when someone doesn’t meet your expectations, do NOT use strategies to hurt them or leave them. just calm down and view them with a gaze of love. transmute this feeling of resentment and abandonment to love and understanding, you can even visualise it. they still love you, you can manifest them to love you the way you want to idk but still they love you! don’t try to make them jealous, don’t distance yourself, don’t do whatever you do to get ‘revenge’ idk, it is NOT healthy. it only hurts YOU in the end. plus, LOA dictates the way people act with you is a reflection of yourself, so all you need to do is change self.

no matter what, KNOW you are loved. even if your body is freaking out and wants to flee, tell yourself in the moment it will pass. it has to. your trauma trigger reactions are NOT you. 

it may be hard to believe that someone loves you. for me, i felt like i was delusional. that i was kidding myself, because how dare i assume someone loves me? that’s why i kept seeking external reassurance for any semblance of love because i was not giving that reassurance to myself internally. and when someone didn’t give me that reassurance in the 3d, i’d freak out, even though i had manifested it unknowingly. how can i go to the 3d and ask for love when everything, good and bad, is within me? as the creator, how can i not tell myself i am worthy of love and that people close to me love me? how can i not believe that when all is me? it is a bit stupid to think like that, no? well i did, and to an extent i still do. but i’m recovering. i deserve to live a life where i am not constantly afraid. i deserve to live a life where i can speak with confidence that someone loves me. it is hard for me, even now, but i know i will get through it, as will you. 

let’s be brazenly impudent together, shall we?

“Dare to believe in the reality of your assumption and watch the world play its part relative to to its fulfillment.” ― Neville Goddard

[zzzzzestforlife]

Done is Better than Perfect ✅

I never considered myself a perfectionist until I started coding. I'd obsess over pixels and be frustrated when my vision didn't align with what was within my ability to create. And I started to hear this phrase a lot:

"Done is better than perfect."

Of course, some things will always require precision, but one thing I'm slowly learning as I transition from university student to working professional (and back and forth between those two) is that for most things we do in life, there is a wide range for success.

The coolest people I know aren't the ones with the most money, fame, beauty, intelligence, or any other positive quality. Even if it's a mess and inelegant and nobody seems to care, they're the ones who show up everyday and keep doing.

Today was a success because it was done, not because it was perfect. 💚

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Childhood neglect and abandonment may show up in different ways in us. We may realize we find it hard to watch movies in which caregivers show up for their child in ways we couldn't experience; we try to overwork for others and show how good and worthy and helpful we are so that they won't leave us (we feel unlovable or unworthy in first place); we have troubles setting boundaries, even s3xual ones, cause we fear disappointing the other (we second guess our own feelings and voice); we overshare very soon in our relationships about our tough experiences (and rarely exaggerate them too) in order to have the other feel sorry about what happened to us and care for us; we label ourselves as too needy, too much, too damaged cause we believe nobody will ever love us, and what many people experience in their romantic life will never happen to us; to cope with our pain, we may start fantasizing about being saved from danger or just be surrounded by people that care for us the way we want them to.

We may end up believing these past painful experiences are the only possible life for us and become disconnected and emotionally unstable, even if the truth is that we're worthy of healthy relationships and love, and what we had to go through wasn't our fault. We're so much more than what we were made to believe, we're deserving of people staying and showing up for us (and we should allow ourselves to experience that too, without trying to -unwillingly- manipulate others into doing that).

(source - morganptherapy on instagram)