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leighsartworks216 · 8 months

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In Your Silence (I Hear You)

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Requested by @ghulehh666:

"Just had this idea for so long in my head, basically astarion x tav(gn). Tav is really antisocial, never visits tavern or such, and prefers to stay somewhere quiet and alone or with Astarion. When they have to talk, their ability to speak sometimes randomly locks out and doesn’t know what to say."

I know you said antisocial but I kinda went further and made it more social anxiety or autism-coded

Also I still have not played the game or seen much gameplay so some things may be inaccurate and stuff

Warnings: going through a busy crowd, brief mention of nails digging into skin, some sensory issues (touch, sound)

Word Count: 1,287

Masterlist

AO3

You were holding on for dear life. Your arms curled tightly around Astarion’s, eyes scanning every which-a-way. Unfortunately, this was a rather common occurrence.

Before all this, you kept to yourself. Perhaps to an extreme. You avoided going outside, you didn’t speak to anyone for as long as you could help it, and you were quite happy like this. Dealing with other people was always a headache, and never near worth it, but staying alone? The only person you could be irritated with was yourself.

And then you got kidnapped. And somehow, somehow everyone chose you as the one to save the world. You couldn’t stay alone anymore. Too much was at stake. But sometimes it was all too much. Too loud, too demanding, too… everything.

Astarion didn’t know what to make of you upon first meeting. He’d assumed you were working with the damn Illithid, but when he insisted you just kept shaking your head. Truly, he’d have thought you were mute, if he’d not seen you talking with the damned creatures. Now that it’s been weeks, he knew you better than the rest. After all, it was his tent you ran to when you needed quiet, and, even more than that, it was him you trusted to find your voice when you couldn’t.

That’s how you ended up in this bustling market street, clinging to him as he smoothly guided you through swaths of people. He was used to navigating crowds. His eyes sought out slightly-more-open gaps and he’d be able to slip through with no issues. Alone, that is. With you, the strategy was a little different. Not only did he have to get himself through, but you as well. He could only imagine what the weaving pattern he took to find even-more-open gaps in the sea of people looked like from above.

The street never seemed to end. More and more people entered from either end. Stall owners barked out calls to potential customers. Everyone was shoving to get where they needed to go. Astarion was tired of it. The only reason you’d turned down here was to find one specific stall for some spices Gale wanted. He’d stopped looking for the stall long ago, leaving that task to you.

Toward the end of the street, though still quite far from any freedom, you squeezed his arm and planted your feet. He stopped immediately. Your eyes were set on one of the stalls - a table filled with handfuls of herbs, small bundles of them tied together with string. He sighed through his nose. Gale better damn well be happy for all the trouble this is.

Astarion placed a hand over yours on his arm, searching for any opening in the river of people going around you both. He could feel the anxiety radiating from you the longer it took. As soon as there was even a hint of a gap, he pulled you through.

Trying to walk through the hoard rather than with it was a nightmare. You were jostled and bumped into by everyone. Astarion wanted to switch you to his other side to act as a human shield, but doing so risked losing you to the flood. And when you finally got through, finally standing in front of the one stall you came here for, you felt it. Like a switch, your throat felt leaden. Your vocal chords were heavy. It seems preserving your voice for this moment did not help at all.

“Hi! Welcome, welcome! What can I get for you today?” the stall-keeper beckoned. Astarion had to fight to keep his eyes from rolling. All traders were always too cheery, overacting as they tried to play nice to convince you to buy more.

The vampire turned his focus to you. You still held onto his arm, but it was a little more relaxed. Your nails weren’t digging into his arm, at least. (You always apologized profusely when your voice came back, even when he brushed off your concerns of hurting him or, worse, being a nuisance.) You searched the table, eyes roaming stacks of small spices and bundles of large herbs. Astarion had no idea exactly what Gale’d asked for. He trusted you remembered.

A moment passed, and then you were pointing at a small cloth bag, round and full. The attendant lit up. “That’s our special blend! It contains all you need for any meal! Just one pinch and your mouth will thank you for it!” When they said the price, Astarion saw you retreating in on yourself. It was a lot to ask for one small sachet, though it looked like it would last several weeks if conserved properly.

Before you could even formulate an apology to Gale for his damn herbs and spices being too gods damned expensive, Astarion was pulling out his coin purse and counting out the gold. “We’ll take one.”

The attendant picked up the sachet by its drawstrings and plopped it into your hesitant hand. You squeezed his arm - you didn’t like that he was paying for it. He handed over the money, and pulled you back into the throng of people.

It wasn’t long before you were at the end of the street and being tugged along to a quiet side-road as there was no longer a need to slow down to glance at each stall. As soon as the people thinned out to a manageable level, you let go of his arm and reached for your own coin purse.

“Please, love, you don’t need to pay me back.” He covered your hand holding the purse, preventing you from opening it. “Besides, I will be more than happy to discuss repayment with the Wizard.”

You gave him a disapproving look. He just rolled his eyes.

“Was acting quickly to get you out of that mess as soon as possible not what you wanted?”

You glared harder. “Don’t twist it,” you muttered. The weight was still there, but being out of the crowd had helped enough. Though, it seemed heavier now that you have spoken… Damn.

He chuckled airily. “Hate to admit I was working outside of my own self-interests for once?” You raised a brow at him. “Well, aside from having Gale in my pocket, until he compensates me for the loss.”

You huffed and put your coin purse away, tucking the sachet away in the process. Your hand found his arm immediately after. He didn’t even react as you gripped onto the fabric of his sleeve. At first, he’d been a bit scandalized, complaining that you’d wrinkle it or pull at the embroidery. He almost… enjoyed it. The simple act of keeping each other close, relying on him to act as an anchor. It felt nice to be needed.

He noticed before you that your feet were beginning to drag. The sole of your boots scraped on the street every couple steps, not to mention how you slowed down ever so slightly. He smiled knowingly, resting his hand over yours on his arm once more. It was reminiscent of nobles strolling along, prim and proper.

“Come on, dear,” he encouraged smoothly. “Once we return I can read that mystery novel to you.”

You grabbed onto his arm with your other hand, pulling yourself closer to rest your head against him. You had a tired little smile on your face. How unfortunate such outings were so much on their leader. He’d probably get two lines in before you passed out in his mess of pillows.

“Though, it is rather obvious who the culprit is.”

You pinched his arm.

“No, my being a magistrate has nothing to do with it,” he chastised. “It’s hardly my fault I’m more observant than you, dear.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate astarion #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 astarion #fluff #social anxiety #gn reader #x gn reader #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #pov second person

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m1d-45 · 1 year

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Hello! It's a new anon here!

My name is Baby Cat/Out of pocket anon!

If I may, a SAGAU Aether x GN! Reader who has a mortal form that is has similarities to the divine creator but not enough to be confused as an imposter.

I'll clarify a bit, Aether dosent know that his beloved is actually the divine one, but instead thinks that they have simply been blessed with part of their beauty. Tevyat dosent know the creator has descended and is waiting, meanwhile Aether has the creator in mortal form as his darling partner.

-Baby Cat anon

P.S! My cat Duckie has recently warmed up to a new person!

a new tomorrow

a/n: ignore my dogwater schedule i have not written like at all for the past 2-3 weeks ahahah (also this is isn’t very romantic coded but i already hate this piece so my bad g)

word count: ~3k

-> warnings: canon-typical violence, microscopic spoilers for liyue story quest ig

-> gn reader (you/yours)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24

< masterlist > || next part >>

when you’d first arrived in teyvat, you had fully expected to die, in honesty.

you were up on the top of starsnatch cliff, and had nearly fallen off in your initial panic if not for a sharp wind and a lucky break. you were much more mindful of where you walked after that, but mondstat was littered with impossible cliffs, and your memory of the area was sharply diminished when you didn’t have a little circle in the corner of your screen to remind you where you were.

you grabbed a few low-hanging sunsettias as you walked, making your way across a nondescript patch of grass. your plan was to just eat them as-is, but after a moments more thought into the idea, perhaps washing them first would be wiser. according to your memory, there were four main bodies of water: a lake and waterfall further north, the ocean to the east, cider lake to the west, and the state of the seven… somewhere.

the lake was surrounded by hilichurls and was a bit too close to the anemo hypostasis for your liking, the ocean was a no for obvious reasons, and cider lake didn’t seem like a particularly good idea, not to mention the only closest access to it you could think of was surrounded by hilichurls.

so, the statue of the seven it is. the only problem, of course, was that you had no idea where you were.

you tried to keep track at first, but then you had to climb down from one too many cliffs and had to take one too many detours around impossible ones, and now you were blindly walking. you could tell by the dense forest and the small lamp grass that you were somewhere in the whispering woods, but the thin path you were following have no indication of your direction. you hoped, of course, that you were headed north, but you didn’t know how to tell. the three sunsettias in your arms looked more tempting by the minute, but you were determined to clean them first. not only would that help you get your bearings again, but you’d lower the risk of whatever diseases were native to teyvat.

…which was something to consider further, in truth. your body wasn’t native, and hadn’t grown up with and developed an immunity to the bacteria here. would you get sick? had you already, and just had to wait until the symptoms developed? should you be more worried than you were?

the path around you was opening up, but you were too busy worrying to bother look up. what were the long-term effects of staying in teyvat? would you be intolerant or allergic to the foods here, because your body wasn’t used to processing them? what were the long term effects of-

“watch out!”

would you find out at all?

you looked over your right shoulder, at the voice that had called, and barely get a glimpse of bright gold before something white covers your vision, tiny hands pulling at your shirt.

“come on,” a high voice says, “follow paimon! let’s get away from the trouble.”

paimon-?

you stumble along with her, letting her take you further into what you now recognize as windrise. damn, wrong way.

“ooh, are those sunsettias?” you notice she’s blocking my your view of whatever’s behind her, likely the traveller and some enemies if you had to guess, judging by her presence and the sounds of metal on wood. “they look really fresh, too..”

you decide against trying to lean around her. best not to traumatize yourself on your first day. “uh, yeah, they are. would- do you want one?” you hold out one of the fruits. “i haven’t washed them yet, but…”

“oh, that’s okay!” she takes it eagerly, giving it a cursory wipe with her sleeve before taking a bite. “you don’t really need to wash em, in paimon’s experience! just a quick clean of any dirt and you’re all good to go!”

…that was stellar to hear.

you patiently wait, pretending the grunts and roars and sounds of clashing weaponry don’t exist. you try to offer paimon another sunsettia, since you know in-lore she’s almost always hungry, but she shakes her head.

“one for paimon, one for you, and one for the traveller! that way, everyone gets the same amount, and nobody’s upset!”

you don’t know how to feel about the fact that she addresses him as ‘the traveller’. on one hand, it makes sense she wouldn’t throw his name around like that. on the other, it feels… wrong. not in a way you can put a name to, but something about it is unsettling.

“did they offend you, or something?”

you startle, looking up, and see aether standing right in front of you, flipping through some hilichurl masks in his hands before passing two off to paimon, who puts them in a cloud of stars.

he looks at you expectantly, and you realize you had been frowning at the food in your hands. “o-oh! no, they.. sorry, i was lost in thought.”

he dismisses the rest of the masks into gold sparks with a nod. “are you alright?”

paimon gasps, hands over her mouth as she flies back a little. “oh, paimon forgot to ask! are you hurt at all? you don’t look like you’re from here…”

you flash her a smile you hope covers the change in topic. “i’m fine. and thank you,” you turn to aether, “your help is greatly appreciated-…” what do you address him as? you’ve technically never met, but to call him an honorary knight is probably unwise…

“the traveller is fine,” he says. “and you didn’t answer paimon’s question.” rats. “are you from teyvat?”

you hesitate, but eventually shake your head. “i’m not.”

he frowns. “how’d you get here?”

“i don’t know.”

“..you don’t have anywhere to stay, do you?”

oh no. you recognize that voice. “it’s fine, you don’t have to worry about me.” you glance around, eventually pointing at mondstat. it’s stunning in person, even from a distance, but you push past its beauty to talk. “there’s a city there, right? i’ll make do.”

“now’s a tense time, even mondstat isn’t as welcoming as usual.”

‘tense’? you don’t remember mondstat being involved in any scandals, and the skies seem clear, so you must be past the mondstat part of the story… “is something wrong? wait, don’t answer that; if it’s tense, then you surely have somewhere more important to be, right?”

paimon huffs. “paimon bets you’re broker than the tone-deaf bard!” wow, okay. “and a single sunsettia doesn’t get you far!”

aether raises a brow. “‘single’?”

“right!” you hurriedly pick the larger of the two, holding it out to him. “as thanks. she’s right, i don’t have any mor- uh, any more to give you, but it’s the least i can do.”

he shakes his head. “keep them. now, regarding your housing-“

“i can stay in mondstat-“

“the entirety of teyvat is on edge right now. the chances of an outlander being welcomed without hassle is low, even for mond.” he thinks about it, paimon mirroring the hand on his chin.

you try to think over the lore, attempting to remember something that could affect the entirety of teyvat. maybe you’re in the middle of the liyue quest? but why would he be in mond… unless you’re beyond the known lore, but in that case he has even less of a reason to be here, and not wherever the crisis is. not that that’s his obligation, of course, but given the trend-

“what’s your name, by the way?” you give it, and he frowns. “ah, that won’t do.” what. “i.. i don’t know about where you’re from, but where i’m from and here in teyvat, there’s a prominent religion that spans nearly the entire world here. this faith is the cause of the conflict i was talking about earlier.”

your heart picks up, and you pray it’s just some weird quirk of the lore you haven’t gotten to yet. maybe something with the heavenly principles? celestia? you regret not reading up on more of the lore now that you’re face to face with potentially a large part of it. “and?”

“you share the name with the primary god.” please don’t be what i’m thinking of, please don’t be- “the people of teyvat are rather protective of their creator, and doubly so now that their presence has gone missing.”

shit.

your mind flashes to all the sagau you’ve indulged in, to the break you’d taken a few days ago because your game had been acting up and you didn’t want to make whatever glitch it was worse in fear of losing your progress.

“oh,” is all you can say.

living with aether is easier than you thought it would be.

by the time you wake, he’s out working for the guild, leaving you and most of the realm within to yourself. you try and be useful by tidying up, but tubby keeps most of the realm clean, so there’s little for you to really do. there’s rooms that weren’t in the game—likely because this is his personal realm—such as a massive library and big sunroom, and you pick through the former on occasion. there’s books about everything, from encyclopedias on flowers in sumeru to the types of silk used in inazuman clothing. everything you don’t understand or want clarification on is bookmarked, and after he’s come home and rested, you both talk about them over dinner.

sometimes he knows the answers to your questions. other times you write them down on a slip of paper, and he takes a detour that day to ask. even if it’s something from a nation he hasn’t visited yet, he somehow finds the answers, returning to you with a longer sheet as he explains. you don’t ask where he got it, nor why he’s so willing to entertain your surely silly questions, but it probably has something to do with the fact that you didn’t fish up a companion that could answer all of your questions about a world you didn’t know deeper than surface level.

similarly, the transition in your relationship was also smooth, so quiet you almost didn’t notice it was happening. it was just so easy to be around him, your familiarity with him outside of the game and implicit reliance on him as an outlander during the mess of teyvat making him easy to talk to.

you didn’t notice when you started greeting him with hugs more often, nor when you started eating side by side at the table, talking about more than just the books. you told him about your world, and he spoke of his, telling you beautiful stories of his sister and their travels.

(“every world i’ve been to has worshipped the creator in one way or another,” he says, pushing his empty plate to the side. “does yours really not?”)

(you make the choice to set aside the many religions on earth. “we don’t,” you say simply, and he frowns, resting his chin in his hand.)

(“how interesting…”)

once he was confident that you knew enough of teyvat and it’s people, he began to take you on his commissions. the realm within was nice, and tubby held good conversation, but cabin fever began to set in after a month or so. he held your hand as you walked, steering you out of the way of monster camps or other adventurers. he didn’t dare bring you on the ones requiring fighting, but you’d helped find lost keys or fallen boards, paimon always certain to pull you away from battle, distracting you with a chat about whatever meal aether would make later.

(“do you guys always cook? doesn’t adventuring pay well?” you asked once, trying to remember how much commissions earned in terms of mora. you never really kept track, nor did you try and figure out how much it was to buy food from places, but surely…)

(“mostly! mora typically goes to either ingredients or first aid supplies. paimon’s thankful he’s a good cook, it’d be impossible to survive otherwise.” she said it so simply, as if it was an easy fact and not awful that they couldn’t afford to eat out even after everything they’ve done.)

(“that’s terrible…”)

(“its not that bad! you’ve tasted his cooking before, it’s great!” that’s true, but- “besides, it’s been getting better recently. with the creator absent, he’s able to take the commissions himself. though it is nice, it’s still worrying they haven’t come back..”)

(the idea that you’ve been indirectly contributing to their situation makes you a bit sick.)

the three of you were walking through liyue, heading for the last commission of the day. shitou, the jade betting guy, needed more ores for his business, and aether was leading you through the city. he’d chosen the waypoint on the western side of the harbor so you could walk through the city, and you were happy he did.

it was so beautiful in person, the buildings and bridges so much more ornate than their models could do justice. the streets were crowded, but you weren’t overwhelmed when aether was beside you, pointing out a jewelry store or a traveling merchant showing off bright balloons to children. you passed one man holding a conversation with a millelith soldier, who was his brother judging by the informal way they spoke and the mentions of shared relatives. you crossed the bridge leading to the eastern half of the harbor, the smell of something sweet and flowery drifting in the air.

“is there a flower shop around here?” you ask, and aether shakes his head, pointing at a building you vaguely recognize.

“there’s a tea house there, and they specialize in rose tea. we could pick up some if you wanted to try it?”

“that’s fine, i was just wondering. i wouldn’t want you to buy something for me if i didn’t like it.”

he stayed quiet, but you could tell he was still thinking about it. “what’s the appropriate way to brew it… wait, do we even have a teapot?”

“i’d hope so, otherwise you’ll have a lot to explain to the adepti.”

he bumps your shoulder as you both begin to turn toward shitou, but you see he’s smiling. “you know what i mean, not that kind of-“

“teapot?”

your steps stopped suddenly, the new voice one you regrettably recognized.

aether turned, greeting zhongli with a smile and a small wave. “not the realm within, don’t worry.”

“that’s good to hear. i’d hate for it to be causing problems.” his eyes flicked to you, seeming to search for something. “and your friend?”

it was weird, the way he looked at you, and aether seemed to pick up on it, stepping forward a bit to block you while also making it seem like he was just turning to face zhongli better. “just someone helping me out. what are you doing out here, don’t you have a shift at the parlor?”

bless aether and his ability to direct conversations, bless him and the speed with which he reminds zhongli of the necessary urgency when working at the funeral parlor, successfully sending the man on his way, even if he gives you another searching look as he does.

“sorry,” aether said, giving your had a squeeze as he approached shitou’s table. “he’s probably cautious because you look like the creator.”

you return it, staying quiet as he hands over the jade and only speaking up once the two of you turn around towards the closer waypoint. “it’s alright. thank you for talking to him.”

he flashed you a smile, putting one hand on the waypoint. “of course. it’s the least i could do.”

liyue fell away in a flash of white, the familiar music of the realm within washing away any lingering feaf or unease from talking to zhongli.

maybe one day you’d come clean, stop lying about reading information from his library. maybe you’d tell him, maybe you’d confess to how crystalflies always seemed to follow you, the wind always at your back.

“what would you like for lunch?” aether called, pulling down ingredients from various cabinets before you even answer because he knows what you’ll say.

“surprise me,” you reply, and he chuckles. the same answer, every time, and every time he manages to find something new to make you.

today you would keep quiet again, as you had every other day. today you would root through the pantry when he forgot the flour, today you would set the table and pull out some paper, asking him about whether or not they had silkworm farms if silk flowers were so common, at least in liyue.

today he would smile, and today he would answer, and maybe tomorrow you’d tell him something he couldn’t reply to.

but that was tomorrow. and this was today.

#baby cat anon #WELCOME BTW HELLO HI SORRY IM SO LATE #genshin #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #self aware genshin #sagau aether #aether #aether x reader #sagau x reader #fluff #sagau fluff #genshin fluff #aether fluff #genshin x reader #gender neutral reader #sorry besties ✌️ math and anxiety over my ap class has been kickin my ASS lowkey #only thing in my head is a specific flavor of hurt comfort (oh god could i adapt that into a reverse isekai) and on occasion zhongli #head empty. no juice only hatred for my statistics class #BUT. I ONLY HAVE A CHAPTER LEFT. WHICH SHOULDNT TAKE LONG I HOPE TO GOD #oh GOSH i missed writing for genshin actually wtf #oh man i was so lost in the statistics sauce i forgot how nice it is to be soft sometimes. shit.#anyway play nice with this piece or rip it to shreds idc i know it’s not my best work by a LOOONG shot

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astronomical-bagel · 3 months

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I gotta say, I do love a guy who prioritizes survival over anything else. Who absolutely will just leave if the current situation isn’t great. Whose morals get thrown out the window the second they’re in real danger. I love that shit, keep it up losers 👍👍👍 I’m kissing all cowards on the lips rn

#Nothing more attractive than a guy who is terrified!!!#this is all gender neutral by the way I love all cowards #SHOUTOUT TO PEOPLE WITH WEAK MORALS 💞💞#astronomically random #oh this was inspired by chilchuck but also applies to Grian and several other characters #oh btw! Being cowardly is different from being a scared anxious mess (e.g. Luigi or Mumbo)#THOSE fellas are terrified but they’ll probably stay #(out of the anxiety that people would judge them if they leave. Or yk morals or whatever idk)#But 💞COWARDS💞 are tough until they know they won’t win and then they book it #shoutout 💞#Astro liveblogs

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onyanjune · 5 months

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Thinking of men who wear muscle tees underneath oversized hoodies or sweaters. The duality of “the comfiest lover who gives the best hugs” and “the guy who will absolutely demolish his foes on the battlefield and his s/o in bed”.

isagi yoichi ┊͙ itoshi rin ┊͙ itoshi sae ┊͙ michael kaiser ┊͙ nagi seishiro ┊͙ kunigami rensuke ┊͙ lilia vanrouge ┊͙ sebek zigvolt ┊͙ jack howl ┊͙ lee jeno (the man who started it all) ┊͙tartaglia ajax childe ┊͙ al-haitham ┊͙ wriothesley ┊͙ jing yuan ┊͙ dan heng ┊͙ stark ┊͙ gojo satoru ┊͙ fushiguro toji ┊͙ getou suguru ┊͙ your faves ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ (i only listed down the first few dudes i could think of)

#headcanon #anime and manga #hsr x reader #blue lock x reader #genshin x reader #twst x reader #jjk x reader #gender neutral reader #lee jeno #jeno x reader #stark frieren #i’m lazy to tag… so yeah #might delete #because of my anxiety #shower thoughts #only wrote this because of the brainrot that jeanjaem gave me #the fact that i put this on queue due to my fears of hitting the publish button #嗯嗯

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 9 months

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Abstract This study reports follow-up data on the largest sample to date of boys clinic-referred for gender dysphoria (n = 139) with regard to gender identity and sexual orientation. In childhood, the boys were assessed at a mean age of 7.49 years (range, 3.33–12.99) at a mean year of 1989 and followed-up at a mean age of 20.58 years (range, 13.07–39.15) at a mean year of 2002. In childhood, 88 (63.3%) of the boys met the DSM-III, III-R, or IV criteria for gender identity disorder; the remaining 51 (36.7%) boys were subthreshold for the criteria. At follow-up, gender identity/dysphoria was assessed via multiple methods and the participants were classified as either persisters or desisters. Sexual orientation was ascertained for both fantasy and behavior and then dichotomized as either biphilic/androphilic or gynephilic. Of the 139 participants, 17 (12.2%) were classified as persisters and the remaining 122 (87.8%) were classified as desisters. Data on sexual orientation in fantasy were available for 129 participants: 82 (63.6%) were classified as biphilic/androphilic, 43 (33.3%) were classified as gynephilic, and 4 (3.1%) reported no sexual fantasies. For sexual orientation in behavior, data were available for 108 participants: 51 (47.2%) were classified as biphilic/androphilic, 29 (26.9%) were classified as gynephilic, and 28 (25.9%) reported no sexual behaviors. Multinomial logistic regression examined predictors of outcome for the biphilic/androphilic persisters and the gynephilic desisters, with the biphilic/androphilic desisters as the reference group. Compared to the reference group, the biphilic/androphilic persisters tended to be older at the time of the assessment in childhood, were from a lower social class background, and, on a dimensional composite of sex-typed behavior in childhood were more gender-variant. The biphilic/androphilic desisters were more gender-variant compared to the gynephilic desisters. Boys clinic-referred for gender identity concerns in childhood had a high rate of desistance and a high rate of a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation. The implications of the data for current models of care for the treatment of gender dysphoria in children are discussed.

[..] Summary of Key Findings

The present study provided follow-up data with regard to gender identity and sexual orientation in boys referred clinically for gender dysphoria. There were three key findings: (1) the persistence of gender dysphoria was relatively low (at 12%), but obviously higher than what one would expect from base rates in the general population; (2) the percentage who had a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation was very high (in fantasy: 65.6% after excluding those who did not report any sexual fantasies; in behavior: 63.7% after excluding those who did not have any interpersonal sexual experiences), markedly higher than what one would expect from base rates in the general population; (3) we identified some predictors (from childhood) of long-term outcome when contrasting the persisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation with the desisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation and when contrasting the desisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation and the desisters with a gynephilic sexual orientation.

The 12% persistence rate was somewhat lower than the overall persistence rate of 17.4% from the prior follow-up studies of boys combined. When compared to the three most methodologically sound follow-up studies, the persistence rate was higher than the 2.2% rate found by Green (47), but lower than the 20.3% rate found by Wallien and Cohen-Kettenis (52) and the 29.1% rate found by Steensma et al. (51). There is one methodological caveat regarding the Steensma et al. study that is worth noting. In their study, the mean interval between assessment and follow-up was relatively short (7.21 years). The patients were eligible for follow-up if they were at least 15 years of age. Given the relatively short interval between the assessment in childhood and the follow-up assessment in adolescence, this meant that patients who had been assessed at younger ages in childhood would not have been old enough to participate in the follow-up assessment. Given that Steensma et al. found that (older) age at the time of the assessment in childhood was a significant predictor of persistence, it is conceivable that their persistence rate was an overestimate. Nonetheless, in the broadest sense, our data were quite consistent with the general finding from the prior follow-up studies that desistance from gender dysphoria is by far the more common outcome.

In our study, we did not find that persistence was more common among boys who were threshold for the diagnosis of GID when compared to the boys who were subthreshold (13.6% vs. 9.8%) although the pattern was in the same direction as that found by Wallien and Cohen-Kettenis (52) and Steensma et al. (51). We would, therefore, argue that the threshold-subthreshold distinction should not be abandoned in future follow-up studies although such studies might profit from using a symptom count of DSM indicators in addition to the dichotomous coding of the diagnosis as threshold vs. subthreshold. Consistent with both Wallien and Cohen-Kettenis and Steensma et al., our composite measure of sex-typed behavior in childhood was a significant predictor of outcome in that the patients classified as persisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation had more severe gender-variant behavior than the patients classified as desisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation; in addition, desisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation had more gender-variant behavior than the desisters with a gynephilic sexual orientation. Thus, dimensional measurement of gender identity and gender role behaviors from childhood provides added nuance in characterizing longer term trajectories with regard to both gender identity and sexual orientation.

With regard to sexual orientation at follow-up, the percentage of patients with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation in either fantasy or behavior was reasonably similar to those reported on in the prior follow-up studies which included standardized assessment measures (47, 51, 52). This finding also converges with three representative, general population prospective studies (118–120) and many retrospective studies (43) which document a significant association between patterns of gender-typed behavior in childhood and later sexual orientation.

The multinomial logistic regression analysis (Table 4) also showed a trend for the persisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation to be older at the time of the assessment in childhood compared to the desisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation; however, when the composite measure of sex-typed behavior in childhood was added to the equation (Table 5), age at assessment in childhood no longer showed such a trend [cf. Steensma et al. (51)]. In our smaller study of girls with GID (46), the persisters were, on average, 2.5 years older than the desisters at the time of the assessment in childhood (11.08 vs. 8.59 years) although the difference was not significant. It is our view that age at the time of a childhood assessment in relation to long-term outcome should continue to be examined in future follow-up studies.

Social class was a significant predictor of outcome: the persisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation were from a lower social class background compared to the desisters with a biphilic/androphilic sexual orientation (even after controlling for the other demographic variables). Why might this be the case? Because we had not made formal a priori predictions of outcome regarding any of our demographic variables, it is, of course, important to see whether or not it will be replicated in new follow-up studies. At present, our interpretation of the social class effect reflects on its relationship to other literatures.

One possibility pertains to the notion that acceptance of a gay or homosexual sexual identity is less in “working class” subculture (121). If this is, in fact, the case, it has been argued that transitioning from male to female—the so-called “homophobic” hypothesis with regard to gender dysphoria in adults (122)–would allow an androphilic sexual orientation to be more acceptable. Future studies would need to systematically examine whether boys with persistent GID first attempt to live as gay men before transitioning to the female gender role and whether or not this temporal sequence, when it occurs, is related to social class background.

In the present study, it could be hypothesized that the parents of persisters held less favorable views of androphilia (homosexuality) compared to the desisters and thus predisposed to persistence in order to “normalize” one's sexual orientation. However, this is simply a conjecture as parental attitudes toward homosexuality were not measured in the study sample. Indeed, none of the follow-up studies to date on boys with gender dysphoria have specifically examined attitudes toward homosexuality as a predictor of outcome.

Social class could also be a proxy for other explanatory factors. For example, in the present study, a lower social class background was significantly correlated with age at assessment in childhood (r = 0.44) and families where there had been a separation/divorce, etc. (r = 0.58). If one wanted to make the case that a later age at assessment might be associated with persistence (for a variety of reasons), perhaps social class is associated with a “delay” in seeking out an assessment and possible treatment (e.g., family stress, various other mental health challenges in the child and/or the family, etc.). In one study comparing the demographic characteristics of children vs. adolescents clinic-referred for gender dysphoria, it was found that the adolescents were more likely than the children to come from a lower social class background and from families in which there had been a separation/divorce, etc. (123).

tl;dr Don't mutilate kids who will just grow up to be gay.

#gender ideology #genderwang #desistance #queer theory #gender anxiety #gender dysphoria #gay conversion #gay conversion therapy #woke homophobia #homophobia 2.0 #religion is a mental illness

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sparklemaia · 1 year

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if you’re kaiser and you’re reading this, DON’T YOU DARE RESCHEDULE ME AGAIN my lungs can’t take it, thanks

#cw: anti-trans news #cw: transphobia #mental health #top surgery #trans rights #gender affirming health care #gender #transmasc #nonbinary #genderqueer #lgbtq #queer #trans #anxiety #journal comic #autobio comic #personal

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mx-darling-1 · 1 year

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Hello, I can ask for a request.. I could make a fanfic where all the Welcome characters appear in the real world, mainly in the reader's house. Now they and the reader have to share a house and try to find some way to send them back to their world... I think it would be cool for a story

(Bonus: maybe while changing channels on TV, they come across another puppet show)

That could be really interesting! I'll see what I can do! Tw: Wally has seperation anxiety and a minor panic attack

Wally Darling x GN reader Real World Jealousy

Its been a couple weeks since the characters from your favorite childhood tv show suddenly appeared in your house. Youve slowly been getting used to it, although its been hard hiding them from the public eye. Well, Barnaby is 8ft tall after all. Its much easier to sneak Wally around, so you often spend more time with him and Julie. Although, and you would never tell the others this, you definitely preferred spending time with Wally. He was always your favorite character and you guessed that just bled into adult hood.

Over these past couple of weeks Wally had begun to cling to you. As soon as he appeared in your home it was like he already knew you. And, little did you know that he did know you, he's watched you since you were little, and you were always his favorite watcher. The longer he got to be by your side, the more he craved your attention. It was the most important thing to him now. And he almost felt guilty, all his friends were trying to figure out how to get home, but he never wanted to leave. He would even get irritated at his friends whenever they got to close to you or took to much of your attention, overall he seemed very snappy to everyone but you. You didnt seem to notice at all, until the day you were just flipping through some TV channels.

You didnt think it was a big deal, flipping some channels just to find something to watch. Wally was getting some beauty sleep and you were on the couch with Julie and Barnaby. They usually enjoyed more childish shows so you were scrolling through one of the kids channels when you came across Sesame Street, without really thinking about it, you put it on the TV to watch. You notice the tone in the room shift and suddenly a door from somewhere behind you slams open hitting a wall. Your head slams back as you look for whoever slammed the door, only to see Wally staring at the screen in absolute disdain, and you couldn't get over how terrifying it was. Wally never stopped smiling, but it was obvious that he was pissed as he walked over to the couch.

Wally just grabbed the remote, turning the TV off before turning back to look at you. "Sesame Street? Are you trying to replace us neighbor? Why would you want to replace us? We are supposed to be your favorite! I'M supposed to be your favorite!!" His voice was becoming more frantic, and you didnt even notice all the other puppets leaving the room as Wallys actions became desperate, walking closer and closer to you. He grabbed your hands, staring eye level with you although you were seated on the couch and he was standing.

"Wally...hey now..." He became even more desperate, pleading with you. "Please [Name], please dont leave us. Please dont abandon us. Dont abandon me..please please plea-" As tears streamed down your face you pulled Wally closer to you, causing him to go limp in your arms. You couldnt help this overwhelming sadness that took over you as you became desperate to help him, your favorite Wally Darling. "Hey, Wally. I'm never going to leave you, I will never replace you. For you and your neighbors, Welcome home will always be my favorite. No silly puppet show is going to change that. And you will always be my favorite, my Darling. So please Wally, never think like that again." Gently you grabbed Wallys face and placed kisses across it. You could feel Wally melting in your arms as he smiled up at you. "You really mean it neighbor?" You nod softly, smiling at him as you see his lovesick relieved expression. "Of course, and I'll always mean it Wally, even when you guys find your way back home."

Im not too sure how I feel about this one, but hopefully it lived up to expectations! Its a bit short since i wrote more but tumbler deleted it😭

#wally darling #welcome home #wally darling x reader #oneshot #x reader #human reader #gn reader #gender nuetral reader #wally darling has seperation anxiety #wally darling really needs a hug #time to comfort the puppet man #jealous wally darling

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