#it's one of my dad's favorite songs and i want to send him a link :)

[monstermoviedean]

hello fob friends if anyone has a good video of i am my own muse from last night could you please send me the link?

[volturiprincess]

I Will Always be Able to Find You

Demetri x Fem reader

Warnings: Mentions of death, angst, friends to lovers, fluff A/N: This takes place before Demetri was turned but it takes place in the 15th century (I know thats not when he was turned). I made reader from a Latin heritage, its not exactly specified but the word tito and tita are mention (Its a nickname for grandpa and grandma in Spanish). Also the instrument that Demetri plays is called a Vihuela, it is said it was mostly used in Spain and Italy and develop mid 15th century but in this case it somehow got to Greece 🤷‍♀️. Also the song I used in this is called "I love you too much" from Book of Life. Here are the links if you want to hear it English or Spanish. Enjoy💙

Word Count: 2k+

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(These are just some reference pictures on what i was picturing during some scenes)

Flashback

Age 5

“You can't catch me metri!”

He is almost as fast as my brother Orion but I believe Orion is fast because he has long legs and is rather tall. Maybe if I were taller I could run fast. I kept running as fast as my little legs could carry but I felt a touch on my back. I stop running and see a blur of blonde hair run off into the distance. 

“Not fair your taller than me”

He’s only a head taller than me but he is the fastest boy in town. I chased after him as our laughter fills the atmosphere of my tita’s backyard. I love my tita’s house, there is so much space to run around, enough room to play with my best friend Demetri. He happened to be my neighbor. One day when I was sitting in the doorsteps of my house I saw another child sitting on his doorsteps like me. He looked at me and gave me a silly look, it made me giggle. I in return did a silly face and from that our friendship blossomed. We would play for hours, from fighting with sticks we found on our walk to my tita’s house, to him being a type of monster chasing after me. 

We would stay at my tita’s house while she made us her famous “chocolate caliente”, it was always freshly made. Just the scent would send me and Metri running to her little kitchen.

Age 10

Holding my breath is harder than it should be. I ran a good distance from my tita’s house to get a good hiding spot. Metri was always a good seeker, but he is also a really good hider, it would take me a while to find him. It was not until I was in tears and begging Demitri to come out of his hiding spot that I was able to find him, he would tease me saying what a baby I am. 

“How do you even find me, I thought for sure I had you”

With his sweet smile he would reply “I will always be able to find you”

He would go hunting with his dad and my older brother sometimes throughout the year, they would be gone for as long as 2 weeks. In that time I would miss him, I had no one to play with but my tita would distract me with stories and we would carve animal figures out of wood. My tito and I would do that along with Metri until he passed away. I never knew how he passed away, even as I got older my brother never told me and tita didn't tell me either. I just remember having to wear a black rebozo my brother got me from one of his trips to the other lands. Demetri was with me the whole time, he even pulled me away and we went to go play in the nearby woods.

Age 15

As me and Demitri got older we started to have more interest in other stuff. We stopped playing hide and seek but instead we would read books. My brother got us a book on constellations, he always brought us a different book each time he returned from his trips. My favorite being about flowers, actually when I got that book Demetri started calling me tulip. I ask him why once 

“Because your one in a million”

I thought he was being romantic but he said he only views me as his best friend. Since we got that book on constellations me and him would spend hours at night outside my tita’s house. My mission is to locate the Lupus constellation while Demetri wants to locate the Draco constellation. We have been searching each night for the past months, it's a bit difficult because we have no idea how to do this and we are not exactly experts. Demetri has managed to locate other constellations which I envy a bit but I can see in his eyes that he is passionate about the stars. 

The particular night of my brothers funeral, me and Demetri were as always laying in the grass but I wasn't really paying attention to the sky until Demetri exclaimed with excitement 

“Tulip look, I found the Lupus constellation, and look it's even near the Orion constellation”

I saw where he was pointing and small tears started to fall, he’s right, near the Orion constellation. It's like If my brother wanted me to find it. 

I think I might be falling for my best friend...

Age 18

Since that night I started to develop small feelings for him, feelings of wanting to be more than best friends with him. He knows me better than anyone, and with that sweet smile of his he makes me feel warm inside. But the way his voice sounds makes me want to create a bubble so only I can hear it. It's husky but sweet at the same time but what if he only sees me as a friend and just a friend? When we would go to town to buy some items for my tita I would see how the other girls our age look at him, of course he’s gorgeous, Apollo himself should envy him.

I have heard those said girls say that he is the reincarnation of the Greek god Apollo himself. I of course cannot disagree. He really is a handsome man, he is like sunshine in human form, his eyes when the sun hits them would sparkle an olive green. 

The way the ocean needs the moon, Demetri needs the sun, that's when he truly shines. His pearly white teeth are as white as the seashells we would pick at the beach. His hair almost looks made of gold, and his physique has been built nicely recently for the months of working with his dad either by the dock or how he would carry the latest kill from his hunting trip on his well built shoulders. A truly beautiful man, handcrafted by the gods indeed.

As I was getting ready for bed I heard a soft strum of a Vihuela. Music has always been a part of my life thanks to my tita, but who is playing it at such an hour? As if on cue I heard the sweet voice of my childhood best friend singing from the heart.

“I love you too much To live without you loving me back I love you too much Heaven's my witness and this is a fact”

I walk to my opened window to see him there strumming the Vihuela expertly, he looks perfect with the moonlight shining on him. I didn't even know he knew how to play it.

“I know I belong

When I sing this song

There's love above love and it's ours

'Cause I love you too much”

“I live for your touch

I whisper your name night after night

I love you too much

There's only one feeling and I know is right”

“I know I belong

When I sing this song

There's love above love and it's ours

'Cause I love you too much”

As he finished his song I wiped some small tears I didn't even realize were released, he smiled lovenly at me. I ran out of my room to where he stood and he pulled me into a soft tender kiss. His arms that were wrapped around me felt like they were meant to be there, they snapped into place like two puzzle pieces. His lips even fit perfectly against mine. When we pulled away I said to him in a soft voice

“I love you too much Demetri”

But like any fairy tale, they must end. We only got to spend one night together as one united soul because the next day he was off with his father on a grand voyage to some far out land. He tried to convince me to go with him but I said I had to watch over my tita who is already old and not in a state to be left alone. If only I went with him…

Present

Age 20

It’s been two years since I last saw Demetri, my heart has not stopped calling out to him. I catch myself humming an all too familiar tune from that night. But the words have been slowly slipping, the only phrase I can remember the rhythm to is “I love you too much”. The tears that have escaped me would be enough to create a water canal that can save the drying garden of my tita. The two of us have even moved to another town, thinking that would help me get out of this heavy cloud of sorrow but how can one forget their true love? How can someone move on when their heart calls to one person and only them?

I even have had suitors sent my way but none of them can even compare to him. He was in my life for 13 years, if only I had confessed sooner about my love for him. Maybe he would have not taken that trip and he would have stayed with me. We could have gotten married, had children, grown old, seen our children have children and then one day be buried side by side along with our other loved ones. But no, life took away the only person I truly loved, life first took my parents, then my tito, then my brother and now Demetri.

Oh Demetri…It hurts to say his name sometimes. Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of the man who has my heart. Nobody knew what happened, there were speculations that maybe everyone on that ship was killed at sea. But can someone explain to me, what do I take for the sorrow? My body walks alone, my soul went with him the minute he left but it's not his fault why I feel like this, I just never got used to the feeling of being separated from him. 

I would sit at my balcony every night hoping for some miracle that he would be there on the pavement smiling up at me like that night. At night is when that song plays in my head the most, how his voice felt like a spell. Sometimes I think that he never existed, that he was a figment of my imagination. I like to believe I'm still dreaming and when I wake up he will be there with the sun hitting him, making his irises basically glow a lighter shade of olive green. But that only hurts more when I wake up and I'm faced with the hard reality. 

Even if he somehow came back, how will he find me? I moved to another town, it took about three days to get here. I missed my old town, the memories I have built there with Demetri is everything I have of him. As of now I am getting ready for bed in slow manner, it's not my favorite part of the day because that is when I am truly alone with my own thoughts and feelings. And once again I am humming to the line of our song. I try to remember the rest to it when suddenly I hear once again the voice of an angel with the Vihuela accompanying said voice

“I know I belong When I sing this song There's love above love and it's ours 'Cause I love you too much”

Can it be? Do my ears deceive me? I run to my balcony but don't see him yet until I hear our song change chorus a bit.

“Heaven knows your name, I've been praying To have you come here by my side Without you, a part of me is missing Just to make you my own, I will fight”

My eyes widen at the sight of him, dressed in foreign robes with the moonlight hitting him perfectly as always. My true love is there singing once again.

“I know I belong When I sing this song There's love above love and it's ours 'Cause I love you too much”

He walks up my little steps to my balcony as he’s still singing, up close I can see the face I've been dreaming of for the past two years. His eyes still sparkle but wait they aren't that olive green I love so much, no they're red instead. 

“I love you too much I love you too much Heaven's my witness and this is a fact You live in my soul Your heart is my goal There's love above love and it's mine 'cause I love you There's love above love and it's yours 'cause I love you There's love above love and it's ours if you love me As much”

As he finished the song he was already in front of me with his sweet smile he would give me since we were children. He wiped away my tears and he pulled me into an all too familiar kiss, full of love and tenderness. But it's slightly different. His lips are cold this time, nevertheless his lips feel like home, I know I belong to him.

We pull away, instead of asking where he was or what happened to him I ask 

“How did you find me?”

“I will always be able to find you my love”

Just with that we are now able to spend forever as it was always meant to be. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, this one is hands down my favorite one, the song I used is so sweet, well I think the Spanish version is better in my opinion.

[queenofallimagines]

Meguru Bachira with a black s/o

LISTEN!! I picked up the 2 volume of the manga on accident when I went to target and I’m in love w him the man of my dreams!! Not taking blue lock right now bc besides Isagi and kunigami i don’t remember any other characters name or anything about them😅 feel free to talk to me about him tho I have SO many thoughts👀

** can you tell this is just me rambling 💀

Megaru💕:

- this pic gives me butterflies holy shit

- WHEW this man has huge unhinged sunshine energy

- Like giggling and kicking my feet how he’s the happy go lucky character trope (I.e hinata) but they make sure you remember he’s not “soft”

- Like the way y’all be uwuing hinata that is a grown man😐 he was throwing fists the WHOLE SERIES but he don’t know about sex? Bffr

- Anyway he’s definitely a switch but kinda leaning more top? he definitely just wants to fuck he don’t care who’s on top

- He’s so cuddly it’s adorable

- Getting neon yellow nails to match his hair>>>

- Definitely would like to match fits w you when y’all step out

- WOULD GET YOU AN ANKLE BRACELET W HIS INITIALS ON IT SO HE CAN KISS YOUR ANKLE WHEN HE PUTS YOUR LEGS OVER HIS SHOULDERS!!

- Most fashionable couple FR

- Always has to be touching you in some way

- Holding your hand, arm around you, hand in your pockets

- Wants to make sure you’re there and won’t slip away from him

- Imagining him going to meet your family and he’s SWEATING like he knows he’s not everyone’s cup of tea and really doesn’t want to start anything

- “You are good at soccer so you have like + 100 points right now”(watching Latino people watch the football on the Olympics is so scary 😫)

- Imagine your family watching his games😭 embarrassing bc now I’m imagining a room full of dads and uncles glued to the tv and cheering him on like he can hear it💀💀

- “You so skinny you need to eat more!”

- He’s charming your aunties to steal plates from your house

- You get in the car and he has like 3 Tupperwares full of left overs

- Great with kids because they think he’s cool

- he’s breaking they ankles in soccer tho he’s not gunna play nice w kids

- If “play where it’s safe cuz it’s NOT over here” was a person

- Like he can go 0-100 in a millisecond so if someone tries him

- Very “who’s gon beat my ass about it??” Type beat

- People think y’all are so cute bc he’s so smiley and sweet to you

- DEFINITELY says filthy shit in your ear too

- Like he’s cuddly w everyone he likes so you’d be no different but he’s slipping his hands up your shirt

- Number one hype man when you get your hair done

- So extra

- “My baby so cute🥹🥹”

- Box braids are his favorite bc he can put charms and stuff in your hair

- also medium long locs bc imagining him walking up to you and pushing them out your face to see your eyes🥺

- Freak

- Probably sends you links to sex toys and is like

- “👀👀??”

-“I’m a visual learner btw”

- The MOST unserious character in this whole series so far

- His song is rodeo but just the flo Milli verse i WILL NOT ELABORATE!!

- Once he get to doing that thing where he lower his voice just call in sick bc you probably not walking

- Not that he doesn’t care about your pleasure it’s more he’s fucking until HE taps out so your brains can be soup but he’s not done so,,,,hold on?

- If you like me and a few inches shorter than him will be smug about it

- His personality is big enough to count as a size kink but being a little taller makes him get a big head

- Talks you through it the whole time

- Switching back and fourth between degrading and praise so fast it makes your head spin

- “Hm? Don’t tell me my little slut is tapping out? You were begging me so nicely earlier”

- only one who can say babygirl and it not be cringe 🤭

- “be a good boy and spread your legs for me, hm?”

- Really sloppy kisser during sex too

- Will tell you to stick your tongue out for him

- On the rougher side of kinky stuff

- Fucks you like it’s the last time he ever will every time

- Don’t care about getting caught bc either way he’s not stopping

- Probably how you’d end up sleeping w him and Isagi I fear

- Isagi is so sweet and megaru is MEAN

- Isagi trying to go slow and be gentle and Megaru over here pulling your hair calling you a pretty whore

- this man In grey sweatpants would end me

- APART OF THE SHORT KING BIG DICK CREW

- he’s tall by Japanese standards but juuuuust 3cm above average in American height

- he already walks out the shower naked w NO care in the world

- probably walks around the house like that too Ngl

- “I am returning to the natural state of my birth” I will glue your clothes to your body sir :/

- feel like he’s more girth than length like don’t get me wrong he def has a third leg but he’s gunna have to work you open

- “ Oh don’t worry, I’ll make sure it fits”

- Act right dick™️ so don’t push him too far in public

- Definitely a bad influence!! You’re trying to be normal in public and he gives you a look

- Next thing you know he’s on his knees for you in a bathroom or an empty hallway🙄

- In the locker room so many times the rest of his friends already know, and when you two disappear they not stepping foot in there

- Buys you lingerie because he’s your biggest hype man

- When you feel confident you’re the most sexy

- “Mmm you look so good in that cute outfit, you won’t be too mad if I tear it off right?”

- Spreads your legs wide and will make you look in the mirror and watch as he fingers you open

- The type of man who fucks you so good you would get his name tatted on your ass

- Your family actually is probably like “don’t you go corrupting that sweet boy”

- And behind closed doors he’s got his hand holding your hair in a tight fist as he makes himself comfy in your throat

- “Let me hold your hair up for you💕”

- L$D- asap Rocky is also his song

[illogicallyx]

okay im doing a gojo version to this ask i got this morning bc my darling @satocidal wanted a gojo ver too so im making it happen <333

okay so i will project on this a lot bc he is an entp and im an entp and my bae @satocidal is also an entp so ik how we are so this is like Christmas LMFAO okay lets GAURRRRR

this man will deffo become even crazier when you come in his life bc you are just like him and it encourages his behavior by a LOT!!! you guys wreck havoc on school grounds its such a headache for yaga and omg dont even ask utahime abt her blood pressure levels

i feel like utahime first tried to warn you abt gojo when u came to the school (she was in the tokyo school for those every 6 months meeting she has) and she had been there with yaga while you gave ur interview and you looked so calm and serene and she fell for the facade u had created and when she had told u abt gojo it made u excited instead of deterring you

and yeah when she came back again she was in for a shock seeing you and gojo bond together bc "WAS ONE GOJO NOT ENOUGH??? NOW THERE ARE TWO OH GOD WHY U TEST ME" shoko has to come sweep her to her clinic to get her blood pressure pills

okay this dynamic is like big brother. like with nanami it was like dad daughter this ones big brother and younger sister dynamic

i can imagine this man will deffo listen to hit kpop songs with you which you introduced to him!!! his favourites would be boy groups!! like skz and nct and exo for sure

(am i projecting my kpop addiction on him? yes yes i am) he will deffo be delulu with u when u tell him abt ur bias or when u send him compilations of ur fav group being funny he will deffo watch it with u and like this may reach to a point that he will send you a link to the newest variety show of ur fav group before u can get to it

i have a sweet tooth so like imagine his delight when he finds that out IWNDKDKDK he will make u try all of his favorite sweet treats <333 i feel like he will buy like an expensive chocolate to try for shits and giggles to share with u and it ends up being so delicious that now u both are stuck buying it over and over and yeah....one of you is bound to have a cavity or two

he tried to pull pranks on u like he did with yuji but its like karma has come to bite him in the ass for all the times he roped poor yuji into his pranks at his expense bc u dont fall for him bc u are smarter than him in this department (dont tell gojo u said that he will deffo pout)

u often bond with toge over plans on how to prank gojo and u even get nanami's help in these bc he will take any chance he can get to get back at that paint brush looking —

even doe sometimes its hard to tell who is the adult of this dynamic since he gets even crazier with u under his wing bc u get him but this does not mean he neglects his teacher duties

he will deffo come to save ur ass when u are dangling by ur foot by a giant curse bc u allowed it a break of a few seconds but that doesnt mean he will shut up abt it. if u climb on him and flick on his forehead he will be shocked bc w-what???? he thought he was ur fav???? how could you? but he deserves it sometimes and he knows that and he lets you

u are megumi's fav doe bc u put gojo in his place when he teases the boy too much. yeah its like you have two brothers <333

i can imagine him getting you and him kicked out bc he was making funny faces behind yaga during the meeting he dragged u along with him with the higher ups bc he gets bored and his way of beating that boredom is to make faces at u which always without a fail makes you laugh and before u can stop it u have all the eyes on you and ur beetroot face in return rips out a laughter from him and yeah <3 this happens often <3 its a strategy he secretly applies to avoid these meetings bc he hates them

OH im indulging in these so hard but like when he sees u with different types of braids u do on urself when u come to training he's always so fascinated with them and he insists that you braid his hair too and if u complain abt his hair being too short to grip he will threaten to cut off ur monthly supply of chocolates that u love oh so much and yeah it does the trick lmfao this may be a lil sad but its bc it reminds him of the times geto used to braid his hair for him and he never got to experience that again bc he had to do it for tsumiki and well tsumiki couldnt do her own how would she do it for gojo yk?

he will proudly flaunt the braids whenever u do them for him!! its always a hassle for u doe bc his hair is so damn silky but u keep ur mouth shut bc he may stop his money flow for ur chocolate and u dont wanna take no chances

oh also omg imagine introducing tiktoks to this manchild?????? yeahhh its hell on earth if u do esp for nanami omggg he is gonna eat his brain by constantly asking nanami to make tiktoks with him KSKDKDKDK yuji would indulge him doe lmfao and megumi oh he's making a run for it he heard the rumors he's not gonna risk it lol this is reminding of those fortnite dances that were all over tiktok when gojo and yuji skins were introduced LOL

a/n: this thing is such an indulgent piece of shit but i love it so whatever <3

[washipink]

A Beginner’s Guide to Tokusatsu

Hey, I know some of you are probably wondering about all these hero shows I’m constantly posting about. Maybe you want to try watching them too, but don’t know where to start? Well, look no further. I’m here to go over some accessible, and legal, means of checking out some of my favorite things!

for the OTHER means, you’ll have to DM me or send me an ask. I’m not getting my favorite sites shut down. You know the drill.

This guide will mainly focus on the big 3 Toku franchises, Toei’s Kamen Rider and Super Sentai as well as Tsuburaya’s Ultraman.

What Is Tokusatsu?

Tokusatsu is a genre of Japanese shows and movies that literally translates to “Special Effects”. Usually using a combination of monster or hero suits, practical effects like explosions, and light CGI.

That’s a REALLY wide net, so we’re just gonna focus on 3 shows today.

Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, and Ultraman. Thanks to @urotandersentai​ for drawing this neat little guide to the Visual Design of each of these 3 shows.

With that out of the way, let’s look at some individual seasons of these shows. Each one has a link to where you can watch it!

Please remember that at the end of the day, the best way to pick a show to watch is “Whatever looks coolest to you”. As such, I’ve included pictures!!!

Super Sentai

You might be saying, “This looks like Power Rangers!” And you’d be right!

Super Sentai, created by Shotaro Ishinomori and produced by Toei Productions, is kinda like Power Rangers’ Dad. PR has been using suits and even fight footage from Super Sentai to tell its own stories for 30 years. All this time, though, Sentai has been creating lovable and memorable casts of colorful heroes.

Generally, Super Sentai is about a team of heroes in colorful costumes that fight monsters every week to protect people.

There’s tons of shows in this series that are available FOR FREE.

CHOUJIN SENTAI JETMAN (1991)

The Earth is under siege from the Dimensional War Party Vyram. A special squadron is selected for an experiment to turn them into Super Humans with the powers of Birds, the Birdman Squadron Jetman. Vyram interferes with the experiment and kills all but one of the Jetman recruits. Instead, civilians are transformed and tasked with defending the Earth. The surviving recruit, Ryu Tendo, must convince 4 normal people with drastically different backgrounds to fight with him.

Jetman has the typical monster of the week format for Super Sentai, but when the team isn’t battling monsters, there’s some serious drama going on. The five of them are all drastically different individuals. It can make it hard to work as a team. Especially when it comes Black Condor. Dude’s a loose canon and an absolute bastard of a man.

KYORYU SENTAI ZYURANGER (1992)

“From hundreds of millions of years ago, in the age of the dinosaurs, five warriors revive in the present time!”

When the Evil Witch Bandora awakens from her slumber, intent on terrorizing the Children of Earth, Five warriors from Dinosaur Times are unsealed to undo her schemes!

This one is where the suits for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers came from, which might tempt you to watch it first. I kinda recommend against that, though. It’s a fine show but I personally found it a bit boring. The characterization of the main cast didn’t stick out as much compared to other Sentai.

GOSEI SENTAI DAIRANGER (1993)

I haven’t seen this one, but it’s focused on martial arts and one of their mechs is a cool dragon? so uhhh? Check them out? Their theme song fucks

NINJA SENTAI KAKURANGER (1994)

Ok listen I didn’t watch this one either. HOWEVER, I know that it’s about the descendants of 5 legendary ninja who have been fighting yokai for 400 years.

CHOURIKI SENTAI OHRANGER (1995)

This is the last sentai in the “I didn’t watch it” category. uhhh, watch it if the suits look cool. Sorry.

GEKISOU SENTAI CARRANGER (1996)

Five Mechanics use the power of Car Magic to protect the earth from the Universal Reckless Driving Tribe and teach children about Traffic Safety. This one’s a tad bit goofier compared to some of the others, but it’s a good time.

Also There’s a Yoda.

DENJI SENTAI MEGARANGER (1997)

Five High School Students are friends and pals! Together they investigate the mysterious goings on of a technologically advanced evil empire. They literally surf the net in order to bring peace to their city and the world!

SEIJUU SENTAI GINGAMAN (1998)

The warriors of Ginga Forest, the Gingamen, have protected nature for 132 Generations. This series follows the 133rd Generation of Gingamen, who battle alongside Starbeasts to stop the resurrection of the Demon Beast Ditanix!

KYUKYU SENTAI GOGOFIVE (1999)

This time, the rangers are an experienced team of rescue workers given super human power! They fight back Literal Demons From Hell that endanger the public. There’s a lot of focus specifically on rescuing civilians in this one, so if you’re an especially big fan of watching heroes... SAVE people, this is a great choice.

MIRAI SENTAI TIMERANGER (2000)

In the 30th Century, a gang of super criminals escapes to the year 2000. They are tracked down by the Future Sentai Timeranger, agents of the Time Defense Force. There, they encounter the Great(s) Grandfather of their departed leader and must convince him to fight alongside them for the sake of humanity.

HYAKUJU SENTAI GAORANGER (2001)

Veterinarian Kakeru Shishi can hear the hearts of every animal! He swiftly becomes enraptured in the adventures of the Gaorangers, who battle living embodiment of pollution. Also they live on a flying turtle! How cool is that?

NINPUU SENTAI HURRICANNEGER (2002)

What if there was a polycule of ninjas SO BAD at being Ninjas, they showed up to Ninja Class Late and were the only survivors of an attack on their school? These guys are the silliest little slackers, but they’ve got hearts of gold. Check them out? For me? :)

KAMEN RIDER

If Super Sentai is Power Rangers’ Dad, Kamen Rider is Power Rangers’ Uncle.

Kamen Rider was ALSO created by Shotaro Ishinomori.

Usually focused in on a smaller cast of heroes. A common theme in Rider is that the heroes are created by their villains and choose to rebel against them for the greater good, or will use the villain’s own powers against them.

Most Riders have a signature attack where they leap into the air and do a flying kick. These get INCREDIBLY flashy over the years.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot less Kamen Rider legally available than there are of the other two shows here. Don’t fret, it’s Easy Enough To Find Anyway.

As for the shows I can link you to, there’s

KAMEN RIDER (1971)

This is the original series.

Takeshi Hongo is an augmented human being created by the evil organization Shocker. Escaping before his brainwashing can be completed, battles for humanity’s freedom as Kamen Rider.

Being such an old show, the effects can be dated and cheesy. It’s a bit of an acquired taste, but if you stick with it, I’m sure you’ll love it. You can watch most of the show in almost any order. The only really confusing part is that eventually, Hongo tags out with fellow escaped cyborg Ichimonji Hayato as Kamen Rider. (This was due to a real world injury to Hongo’s actor during filming. Don’t worry, he’s still kicking and he comes back later in the show!)

It’s also the longest Kamen Rider show, so I don’t fault you if you decide not to watch ALL of it. Even I haven’t yet.

If reading is more your thing, it’s based on a manga that you can find a DELIGHTFULLY well crafted omnibus of here

KAMEN RIDER KUUGA (2000)

Kuuga was the first season of Rider after about a 5 year break on TV. It’s something of a return to form.

It follows Yusuke Godai, a world traveler with 2000 skills, visiting his home town for the first time in years. He finds himself in the middle of an ancient civilization’s ritualistic murder game. Donning the mantle of Kuuga, Godai fights to protect the smiles of the city. He has a wonderful supporting cast around him including Detective Ichijou, who he goes on to share a rather homoerotic bond with.

Kuuga was my first Rider Series and to this day, it represents the Bread and Butter of Kamen Rider to me. This one’s a bit of a slow-paced Drama, but its focus is on what it means to help others. Every episode, I felt like I was actively being encouraged to be a better person. Godai’s got this infectious positivity that can’t help but make you grin.

KAMEN RIDER RYUKI (2002)

Ryuki takes a rather different direction from the other shows on this list. Instead of being about a single hero battling monsters, it’s about Plucky Young Journalist Shinji Kido being wrapped up in an all-out war between Kamen Riders. Donning the mask of Ryuki, he seeks to put an end to the bloodshed. The other Kamen Riders aren’t nearly as cooperative, though.

Don’t think that this plot means these characters don’t get tons of humanizing moments though. They’re all delightful to watch in action and you’ll end up truly questioning who will win? Is it possible to end the Riders’ battle? Will Shinji have to take a life after all?

I cannot recommend Ryuki enough. A lot of the Rider series from the early 2000s are Dramas that feature super heroes and Ryuki takes that drama up to a 10. (Plus, if you wanna ask where to find it, there’s plentiful side content for this show.)

KAMEN RIDER ZERO-ONE (2019)

In the far-flung year of 2019, Hiden Intelligence has revolutionized AI technology. The company manufactures Robot Assistants called Humagears. People in all walks of life and profession benefit from their aid. Unfortunately, something is causing Humagears to go berserk and attack humans.

With the death of Hiden Intelligence’s president, Failed Comedian Aruto Hiden inherits the company. He’s given the Zero-One Driver, which allows him to fight the corrupted Humagears as Kamen Rider Zero-One. With this new power in hand, Aruto seeks a way forward where Humankind and AI can exist in harmony.

Come to think of it, this one’s kinda topical. “AI” is a subject we really aren’t gonna be getting rid of any time soon. This show is one of the more recent rider productions you can find legally and it SHOWS. Every suit is sleek and clean, the visuals are striking and flashy. If nothing else, Zero-One LOOKS incredible.

KAMEN RIDER GEATS (2022)

Kamen Riders compete in a game called the Desire Grand Prix. By fighting monsters and saving people for points, the winner can have their greatest desire granted. Ukiyo Ace, the titular Kamen Rider Geats, looks to unravel the mysteries behind the Grand Prix and reunite with his long-lost mother.

Things get a bit more complicated than that, but I think you should see it for yourself. I can’t recommend Geats enough. its visual style is a direct evolution of Zero One’s sleekness and flashiness. It’s main 4 characters are some of my favorites in recent years.

SHIN KAMEN RIDER (2023) (Paid)

Takeshi Hongo is an augmented human being created by the evil organization Shocker. Escaping before his brainwashing can be completed, battles for humanity’s freedom as Kamen Rider. 

Wait, that sounds really familiar. That’s because this is the latest in a series of Tokusatsu Reimaginings by Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi. This is a new take on the story of Kamen Rider 1971, modernized complete with sleeker suits and stunning music all wrapped up in a 2-hour movie. It also has plenty of Easter Eggs for those of us who are fans of the 1971 series or the Manga it’s based on!

Be warned, this one’s gorier than the other stuff on the list. It’s mostly exaggerated blood splatters, though. I hate that kind of stuff and I’m able to rewatch this movie.

KAMEN RIDER AMAZONS (2016) (Paid)

Amazons is another adult reimagining of a classic Kamen Rider show, but it’s so far removed you don’t really need to know much about the original to enjoy it.

Amazons follows a group of exterminators who have been tasked with eradicating escaped cannibalistic experiments called, well, Amazons. The catch is that they work together with 2 Amazons, Momoru the Mole Amazon, and Haruka, the titular Kamen Rider Amazons. Both of them are tasked with asking themselves ethical questions. Is it so wrong for Amazons to exist? Is it possible to avoid eating people? If it isn’t, then is it WRONG to eat people to survive?

ULTRAMAN

Ok, look, I’m gonna have to make a separate post covering all the free Ultraman stuff there is. Theres SO MUCH OF IT available that I don’t know where to start. We’re about to hit the image limit. If that post is done, it will be linked HERE.

But for a basic idea, there’s tons of stuff on Tubi and the official Ultraman Youtube Channel posts new episodes of the currently airing show.

[luna-writes-stuff]

Day 18: Seven, Dean Winchester

Song link

Fanfic, gn!reader

Fluff, angst in flashbacks

Word count: 3058

Tw: Flashbacks. I am not a John Winchester apologist, oops. Mentions/description of violence and gore, but none too graphic. Losing of consciousness, waking up in a hospital. Dealing with the loss of a loved one (John). You have two parents for the sake of the story. Slight domestic problems; Dean keeps running from John, John gets mad at your parents.

Summary: Throughout your life, you had learned to love Dean Winchester. And though it was complicated, he kept running back to you one way or another. These are short moments throughout your life where you realised you loved him, and where he realised he loved you.

“Please picture me In the trees.”

The swing was your favorite spot. Located underneath a willow, swinging above a tiny lake; it had a natural, calming ambiance. You had spent many mornings sitting there in the cold autumn air, reading a book, or simply staring at the foxes that would occasionally pass on the other side of the creek. As the sun slowly rose to its height, green lights would reflect through the leaves that still decorated the trees, sending you perfect luminance to focus.

After breakfast, you would always rush there, though no one would ever sit on the swing. There weren’t many people in the park - never were, but you kept your spot. As a child, what else do you have to worry about?

“I hit my peak at seven feet In the swing Over the creek I was too scared to jump in.”

But you were not alone these past days. For even now, when the sun hadn’t even set yet, the water in front of you moved in irregular waves.

“Will you ever join me?” A voice sounded from the pond, causing you to look down at the boy with a smile.

“You’re insane.” You joked, referring to his rather stupid idea to jump into the lake at 7 in the morning, your breath still fogging up the freezing air. The boy, however, scoffed, dumping his head underwater as if to make a statement, before resurfacing, sticking his tongue out to you.

“You’re stupid.” He retorted, splashing water towards you, though it did nothing but clean your shoes.

You looked down at the droplets with a teasing smirk, kicking a pile of leaves in front of the swing into the water, dirt dying the water temporarily. The boy stuck his tongue out, swimming towards the shore. Leaning his arms on the grass, he stared up at you, a stupid grin on his face.

“Dad said you could come over today,” He started. “It’s Sammy’s birthday.”

“I remember,” You pointed out. “We bought him a gift three days ago.”

Dean simply formed his lips in a thin line, as if he forgot. You shook your head at the notion, looking back in front of you as you dangled over the creek. All was well that morning.

“But I, I was high in the sky With Pennsylvania under me.”

The walk to your home seemed even longer that particular morning. Something lay heavy on your friend’s mind and you could see it. As you reached your porch, your mother already stood outside, a towel in hand for Dean. The boy ran up to her, offering her a short hug, simultaneously soaking her jeans in water. Grabbing the towel he ran back to you.

“You’re leaving again, aren’t you?” You spoke aloud, referring to his earlier departure months ago. After that, you figured you’d never see Dean again. But he had returned. Apparently not for long.

His face fell upon your words, looking down at his feet. “Was it that obvious?”

“You looked the same as you did last winter.” You informed, turning on the balls of your feet. “That is why I am invited to Sammy’s birthday, right?”

“Well, dad didn’t want to celebrate anything,” The boy admitted sadly. “But I convinced him. He was going to leave tonight, but I wanted to say goodbye.”

You smiled at him, though disappointed, you were glad he stalled. Leading him inside the living room, you grabbed the two cups of tea from the kitchen counter. You knew Dean already drank coffee, but your parents had discouraged it. Even if they weren’t Dean’s real parents, they tended to act like them at certain moments. But the boy eventually grew to love the tea, and knew to not ask anything different.

Dean’s father had always been rougher around the edges. You had met him a handful of times when you and Dean just started your friendship, but he was entirely different than your parents. Dean seemed to love them, though.

“Are there still beautiful things?”

The tv was playing silly cartoons as you and Dean sat on the couch, mindlessly watching them. A laugh would occasionally tear from your throat, pulling the boy with you. He had yet to change out of his wet clothes, but at least he had covered his seat with two other towels. Your mother had lectured him about that last time.

These mornings were always spent like that. The tv would be playing Looney Tunes, your mother would have made you tea, a tray of biscuits on the table. It was cozy, and comfortable. Dean seemed less tense than he usually did. And he was able to look really tense for an eight-year-old.

Your parents had offered to talk with Dean’s father often, but he kept shaking them off, claiming he was fine. You knew better, but you also knew better than to intervene. Your parents loved Dean, and you knew the feeling was mutual, but Dean had another family.

“Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you.”

You wouldn’t see him for a year after that. He promised to visit through the winter, but through letters, you had to figure out he wouldn’t be stopping by for Christmas break. He was kind enough to send you a leather bracelet, its strings braided together. But you did not know where he was. He would never tell you, and so the notebook hidden behind your plushies would remain untouched, slowly gathering dust.

Winter turned into spring, which turned into warm summer nights. Since May, you hadn’t heard anything from him, and he wasn’t one to forget his monthly letters. September had been just around the corner. Three months, a long time for someone so young.

Your parents told you that was simply the way it went. You were only seven, how were you to disagree? Unbeknownst to you, you’d meet him again soon. Simply not in the way you would have hoped.

“Your braids like a pattern Love you to the moon and to Saturn.”

It had been the second week of September when everything happened. When children began to disappear from your area. Your hometown. Three classmates had gone missing within a week. No one was allowed to cross the streets without supervision, so it took you by surprise when there was a knock on your door that Wednesday afternoon.

Your mother had opened the door, allowing Dean and his little brother in. A look of sadness crossed her face, rather than an angry one. You weren’t angry. You were relieved. He was okay.

His father was working a job, he told you. He and his brother needed a place to stay, since motels were full. You didn’t believe him. No one had crossed this town since the news, but you did not tell him. You were glad he was there. And that night, he had told you everything. About his mother, about his father, and about his father’s actual job.

The two of you passed out on the couch to Looney Tunes that night, Sam having occupied your bed. And that was the first time you realized you were in love with Dean Winchester.

“Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long.”

The second time you realized you were indeed deeply, and truly in love with him, was that same November. He had only been gone for a month, and his dad had left for the other side of the country without a note. The Winchesters had arrived in town by bus, and you were there to await him.

You had grabbed Sam’s hand, making sure he wouldn’t run off, as you walked the familiar streets to your house. Even Dean knew them by now. You showed Sammy the park you used to visit, and you finally shared that dive, even as the water was freezing.

Coming home again, it was sweet tea and Looney Tunes. His head had fallen against your shoulder, his eyes slowly closing. Their journey must have been tiring; Sam had fallen asleep on the chair only minutes prior.

Your hands wrapped around his arm, keeping him close, and making sure he wouldn’t fall over. He was out like a light after that. You had never seen him sleeping before. At sleepovers, he used to fall asleep after you, and wake up before you could. But now you could properly see his relaxed features. The freckles dusting his cheeks, or his hair that fell over his eyes just a little bit. He had told you he was thinking about shaving it, but you decided against it. He seemed to value your opinion, for it was the same as it had been last December.

The peace that radiated from him seemed to calm you down as well. Yes, perhaps you had fallen for him. And you had no idea that, even at the age of seven, you would never get over him.

“And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why.”

The third time you realized it came unfortunate. It had been a year later, and Dean’s visits became more frequent. And John, his father, had noticed. There were nights he’d stand on your doorstep, exchanging heated words with your father about Dean. Your father seemed to love Dean more than John did. Yet John was always the one who would take the boy home that night.

That is when you grew to call him John. You used to refer to him as Dean’s father, but after that first fight, you had lost your respect for him. But regardless of how often the man would yell, Dean would always run back. And he was always welcomed.

After one specifically heated argument, your father had broken down in the kitchen, muttering something about the police. He hadn’t wanted you to hear, but he couldn’t have known you were still on that staircase.

You heard John’s car depart from your driveway, and you took your chance. Slipping through the backdoor, you left the house. You knew where they were staying. There was only one motel in the neighborhood.

“And I think you should come live with me And we can be pirates.”

It wasn’t difficult to find their room. John seemed at the end of his screaming match. Before you could get to the door, it flung open, and the man stormed out, walking back to his car. He hadn’t spotted you yet, and there were no boys trailing behind him. He was going for a drink.

Opening the door, you found Sam on the couch, staring at the Looney Tunes on the tv screen, his eyes slightly glossy. You greeted him silently, offering him a wave and a sympathetic smile. He merely ran over to you, engulfing you in a hug. A short sob escaped him before he escaped from your arms, running back to the couch and grabbing his chips.

“Dean?” You called through the small room. How three people would fit in there, you couldn’t comprehend. Not even for one night.

Sam gestured towards the closet, but said nothing, trying to occupy himself.

“Then you won't have to cry Or hide in the closet.”

Reaching towards the knob, you opened the closet gently, finding Dean at the bottom of it. As he spotted you, he quickly wiped his eyes, croaking out one word, hushed under his breath.

“Sammy.”

You understood him immediately, stepping into the closet as well and closing the door, before sitting down on the other side of him. And that’s when he broke down. Instinctively, you moved your body closer to his, opening your arms to him. He crawled into them swiftly, grasping both ends of your cardigan as he silently cried. And cried. Until he ran out of breath.

You stayed there with him until his eyes were no longer red. Until his breath was no longer shaky, and his nose was no longer running. He could almost swear his headache had disappeared.

For you, that was the third time.

For Dean, it was the first.

“And just like a folk song Our love will be passed on.”

Now, years later, you sat there on the hospital floor with him. His body still stitched and bandaged up. Your leg had been three kinds of broken, but still, you sat there with him, as you had done seventeen years earlier. Your back against the wall, your arms opened, Dean tucked within them.

The man that had often been the reason for his secret crying, would cause him pain one last time. Sam had collapsed beside you, his head leaning against yours. Though younger, he had grown up to be much taller than you were, but he was not afraid to utter his true emotions to you. Nor had Dean ever. And, almost ironically, this was the first time the two had seen each other this vulnerable. In the eyes that you always held.

The funeral was silent, almost deafening. Dean’s hand had been clasped in yours as his eyes kept staring at the flames in front of him. Sam had found himself against the hood of the Impala, removed a reasonable distance. He needed time. They both did.

Even after the years of misery, and having to clean the mess up John left behind, you could not help but mourn the man. Not for his actions, nor his words, but for the hurt the Winchesters had to go through now. What Dean had to go through now.

Your head fell against Dean’s shoulder, following his gaze to the fire. Dean, however, began to look at you. You had been there with him through everything. All those years ago, deciding to leave with him when you went to get Sam from college, following the two brothers into their search for their father; you had been there. And he hadn’t asked you to. You simply did.

That is when Dean realized, this wasn’t lust. This was love.

“Please picture me In the weeds Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously Any time I wanted.”

It took one faithful night for you to say the words out loud. Hunting one werewolf seemed a terrible idea. Especially when he had planned an ambush with four of his brothers. You weren’t alone, it wouldn’t be an issue.

But Sam got knocked out, and Dean was busy warding off two on his own. It was up to you to make sure none would get Sam. You had stood over his unconscious form, your knife swinging in your hand dangerously, almost taunting the two others. And then one of the brothers Dean was fighting, escaped, and made way for you. From your back.

Before you could process anything, your face hit the floor, a sharp sensation flowing from your nose to your head. That would leave its mark.

Turning around on your back, you managed to pierce the wolf, but his brothers had reached for your legs. Pulling you from underneath the body, one slashed your arm, forcing you to drop the blade. That’s when the second one took a bite from your leg, whilst aiming for your stomach. Both a hit.

Dean had gotten there quickly after that, ending both of them. Adrenaline forced you upright, but it left as soon as it came, and you fell forward almost instantly.

“Y/N? Hey!” Dean’s voice rang, his arms grasping your shoulders as he forced you to sit up. You remembered seeing his panicked face, even though it was all hazy. Almost like a puzzle.

You remembered him asking you something. You remembered him carrying you to the passenger seat of the Impala, quickly binding your arm and leg with two towels in the trunk, and your stomach with his jacket. You remembered the searing pain, and Dean’s pleas and apologies. You remembered Sam’s still unconscious form on the backseats. And that’s where you lost it.

“Sweet tea in the summer Cross my heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you.”

You woke up in a white room, almost blinding your eyes. The beeping of machines and rushing of nurses had forced you awake. The warm hand covering yours was what kept you.

“Jesus, Y/N. You scared the shit out of me.” Were the first sentences you heard.

Your head turned to your left, your eyes still narrowing to adjust to the light, but you recognized Dean’s face. And his voice.

“Sorry,” You whispered, a smile on your face.

“Asshole,” Dean mumbled, though he couldn’t help the grin making its way on his face. You were awake. You were okay. His hand made way to your face, brushing your hair out of your line of sight. Even half conscious, the notion sent sparks up your spine. You found yourself leaning into it subconsciously. And Dean left it there.

“I couldn’t leave yet,” You continued, your voice broken, but still audible. “I had to profess my undying love and fidelity to you.”

Dean chuckled at your words, muttering something close to a ‘you haven’t lost your sense of humor, thankfully’. But you ignored his statement, offering him a serious look.

“It’s not a joke.”

And that’s where he froze. His arm appeared rigid underneath yours, and the hand covering yours clenched tightly. ‘It’s not a joke’ echoed through his head.

“Pack your dolls and a sweater We'll move to India forever Passed down like folk songs.”

“Well,” He began hesitantly. “I wouldn’t have allowed you to leave yet. Still had to utter a couple chick flic words here and there. Perhaps some dates.”

Your smile grew at his words, growing almost lightheaded at the sudden burst of happiness. You had almost forgotten you had just woken up.

“Some?” You tested, turning your hand in his hold so you could intertwine your fingers together.

“We can decide on the number when you are walking again.” He decided, retrieving his hand from your face. “And you are not bound to these things.” Tugging on the intravenous drip running from your free hand gently.

“But first; recovery.”

“Our love lasts so long.”

[typhoid-moi]

Peoplewatching

Chapter 1/3

(Gen, teenage Matt Murdock)

In O & M, Ms. Lucero taught Matt to hold his cane like a pencil, directing it with his index finger to give him control. He swings the cane to the right when he steps forward with his left foot, then swings it left when he steps with his right foot. The counterintuitive rhythm took a while to master. But he mastered it.

There’s no one else to take care of him, not unless you count Stick. And Matt’s not sure if he does.

He pulls open the heavy bodega door and carefully finds his way to the deli counter and grill at the back. Today is the first day of the month. The church gets to keep Matt’s Social Security Disability payments, but Sister Mary Ignacia always slips him some cash; he has four fives folded lengthwise in his pocket and he plans to spend one on a sandwich and a Snapple from the cold case.

The bodega is crowded. Whoever is on the grill today is talking loudly in Spanish with some other guys. Matt hears a clutter of overlapping heartbeats and starts to get overwhelmed. Who’s on line to order and who is waiting for their food and who is just here hanging out? Where should he stand? Do they see him already?

Stick gave him a breathing exercise to calm him down at times like this, but Matt can’t remember it. There is no reason for him to be here; they’ve got peanut butter back at St. Agnes’s. He turns around, reorients himself to the aisle, and taps himself back to the front of the store.

“Hey, kid,” a voice calls. “Blind kid. Hold up. I got you next!” But Matt is already pushing his way out the jangling door like a weirdo. Right foot, tap. Left foot, tap. Half-running. He trips over something he should have found with his cane, and goes sprawling. His palms sting.

No matter how fast he is, he can’t get away from himself.

::::

When he first got discharged from the hospital, different neighbors would take turns coming to sit with him while his dad was at work. “What do my eyes look like?” Matt asked Trang from 4D. One year older than him, raspberry-scented body wash, playing her GameBoy Pocket on the other end of the couch.

“They’re brown,” she said without pausing her game.

“Yeah, duh. But do they look weird? Or normal.

“Normal.”

“Do they look different at all? If you didn’t know me, would you think I could see?”

“I guess.” Trang’s breathing maintained its steady in and out. Link’s ocarina played a song. “Maybe if I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“What if you were paying attention?”

“Then I’d probably know. Because you don’t really look at things, do you?”

“Oh. Right,” Matt said.

::::

His life should feel so different now from what it used to be. But a lot of things are still the same. He still goes to City Knoll Middle School in the P.S. 111 building on West 53rd. He confesses his sins to the same priests and attends catechism class with the same kids from the neighborhood. He's known Nico Persiani by sight for years – he's the kid with the white cane and the extra-thick but mostly useless glasses. But the two of them never really talked until Matt moved to St. Agnes’s.

Now that they live in the same dorm, Nico wants to be friends. And he never shuts up. He tells Matt all kinds of personal stuff. That he’s twelve, too, and his corrected vision is 20/300 in his better eye. That his dead mom was from St. Thomas, in the Caribbean, that his white dad surrendered parental rights, but sends guilty letters when he’s drunk that the nuns love to read out loud. That the new Star Wars movie sucked, but Ewan MacGregor is actually a better Obi-Wan than Sir Alec Guiness was. That his favorite food is sushi and his favorite color is yellow.

Then, he stops himself. “Oh, man. Sorry. I’m not trying to be a jerk about it.”

“It’s cool. You’re allowed to have a favorite color.”

Matt listens to Nico’s heartbeat and the squeak of thin-soled sneakers on the linoleum as the other boy awkwardly shifts his weight. It is garbage day and the smell drifting in through the cracked window is terrible. The ceiling fan stirs the hot air, but the pressure tells Matt it’ll rain tonight. The A uptown express is passing through the tunnel under their feet and some of the older girls are in the rectory, playing Janet Jackson’s “Together Again” on repeat while they practice their routine for the dance team.

Matt’s head hurts, like it always does now, and every inch of his skin hurts. His heart hurts, too, a pain that feels real and grounded in the body. And Nico feels bad for him because he can’t see colors.

“I heard what happened to you,” says Nico.

“I know,” says Matt. Everyone has.

::::

He used to get comped tickets for Battlin’ Jack Murdock’s boxing matches. He’d sit alone in the front row and watch the fight, but in between rounds, he’d turn around and watch the crowd. Old people. Young people. Mostly men, but some women mixed in. Rich and poor, shoulder to shoulder. He’d watch their faces and body language, notice the clothes they wore, make up stories about them. Who was from out of town. Who didn’t like violence. Who had bet on the loser.

He can’t do that anymore. Now, people watch him.

::::

He notices the different ways Stick uses his cane against different surfaces. One minute, his teacher might let it skim delicately over the sidewalk, then the next, he’ll slam it against the side of a newspaper box or drag it skittering over a subway grate. Sometimes there’s a long, long wait between taps, as if Stick has actually forgotten this tool that Ms. Lucero says should function as an extension of the arm. Other times, Stick holds the cane in his fist, perpendicular to the concrete, and he brings the tip down with a hard rap, like he’s trying to poke a hole in the street. BANG. It makes Matt jump.

Maybe Stick is listening for the echoes. Maybe he’s just trying to get people’s attention so they’ll get out of his way. Matt’s not stupid enough to think that Stick doesn’t always know exactly what he���s doing. But he can’t help thinking about how it must look to anyone watching. He remembers how he used to stare at Nico, before. He knows that when he and Stick are out in public, eyes are always on them. And Stick doesn’t look very respectable. Yes, that’s why the unusual cane technique bothers him so much. Because it seems sloppy. Inconsistent.

"You get around so good,” Matt says, clothing his concern in a compliment. “Do people ever think you’re faking it?”

“Nope,” Stick says shortly. “My eyes look funny. Cataracts. You know what that is?”

“Um. Not really.”

Stick grunts. That’s his version of a shrug, a noise Matt knows means that he’s not interested in explaining further.

He grunts a lot.

::::

Matt is still painfully slow at Grade 2 contracted Braille. It takes him a long time to get through anything, so he also checks out textbooks on tape from the National Library for the Blind – each book is dozens of cassette tapes – and stays up late with his headphones, reading them both ways, over and over. His fingers tingle and his muscles are sore from training, but he is slowly getting better at everything, even if there is no one to notice or care. Matt’s IEP specifies that he should always be seated in the front of the classroom. So he can hear the teacher better? So he can find his seat easier? So someone in charge can always be watching him? He’s not really sure what the rationale is. He feels exposed.

Today, when he gets to pre-algebra, someone is sitting in his reserved seat. Matt knows it’s Brett Mahoney, one of the popular kids. He can smell the wintergreen Altoids Brett is always chewing on. He lets his cane knock into Brett’s foot and the other boy jumps up quickly.

“Oh! Sorry, man. I honestly forgot.” Then, after a pause, “Um, you know you have, like, a nasty cut? On your face?”

“Yeah,” Matt says. “Believe it or not, you are not the first person who has mentioned it. Also, I can feel it. I’m not stupid.”

“OK,” says Brett. “You know it’s bleeding, though, right?”

“It’s bleeding now?” Matt lifts his hand to his brow to check and to his surprise, his fingers come away sticky.

So that’s how Brett ends up escorting him to the nurse’s office.

“What happened, anyway?” Brett asks on the way back. Matt hates having to depend on another middle school boy for sighted lead. He doesn’t want anyone to tease Brett, so he keeps as much space between them as possible, his fingers barely touching Brett’s bicep, but Brett doesn't seem too worried about it. And it’s nice that he isn’t assuming Matt walked into something or fell down, the way the nurse just did.

Obviously he can’t explain about Stick, though. “I was fighting,” he says. It is true.

“Did you win?”

No.”

::::

Is Stick good-looking? It's really hard to guess. He’s old and crotchety, but he could be handsome in a rugged way, Matt thinks. Anything is possible. Clearly some women like him, like Sister Dora, whose pulse picks up when Stick comes to fetch him.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Matt asks him.

Stick ignores the question. “Time for you to get outta here, kid. I got another student coming in 10 minutes.”

Matt feels obscurely jealous. “He’s blind, too?”

“She,” Stick corrects. “No.”

“Huh.” Matt puts the escrima sticks back in their case. “Can she do all the things I can do?”

“She’s much better than you.”

“Does she work harder than me?”

“No. No one does. She’s just better.” He knocks his hand into Matt’s shoulder, a soft blow or a rough pat. “Haven’t I taught you yet that life isn’t fair?”

He didn’t need Stick for that lesson.

::::

Sometimes Matt just walks. He walks east into the anonymous scrum of Times Square and finds his way to Broadway, following it down through Midtown, through Union Square, into the Village and Soho and then Chinatown. It feels good to stretch his legs and the smell of the egg doughnuts from the famous cart makes his mouth water, but all the knockoff perfume shops on Canal exacerbate his perpetual headache. He passes by the arch he remembers and begins to cross the Manhattan Bridge on the footpath. Trains pass on the left with a metal rattle so deep he can feel it in the roots of his teeth.

He doesn’t have a watch, but a subtle drop in temperature tells him that the sun is going down now, the river far below darkening in a way he remembers from outings with his dad when he was a little kid. Halfway across the bridge, he pulls up his hood and stows his folded cane in his backpack. No one here will know he’s supposed to need it.

Downtown Brooklyn roars around him. Cars are getting on and off the BQE. Matt finds his way to the steps that wind down to street level, but he is afraid to stray too far; he doesn’t know these streets at all, and he has no way to reorient himself if he screws up. The river and Manhattan are behind him, he remembers, at his 6:00.

Matt promises he’ll just walk to the next block, recite the Nicene Creed, then turn around, retrace his steps, go back across the bridge the way he came. Return to the orphanage, his neighborhood, his whole life. His blood is beating in his ears. Strangers shove past, taking no notice of him. He’s just a white kid in a hoodie, wearing sunglasses at night. His footsteps are silent without the echoing tap he’s gotten used to.

Turn around, he tells himself. Turn around.

But he keeps walking. He could disappear completely.

Notes:

It's strongly suggested in that Season 3 flashback that that Sister Dora teaches at St. Agnes's and Matt goes to school there, but I think it makes more sense for him and Nico to go to public school, given their accessibility needs.

I love Father Lantom, but I am confused about whether he was around when Matt was a kid, or if they just meet in Season 1, so I left him out.

I'm visually impaired/low vision. If anyone blind reads this, please please please tell me what you think.

[tonysslut]

I like the idea of having a small private wedding, just with the parents and close friends

I had so much fun planning this out, I'm not huge on weddings but I think this is so cute! I'm not very good at endings so it kinda sucks lol. Also I pictured Tony from IM2 while writing this.

There are a few links in this so let me know if any of them don't work.

Summary: The day you marry Tony

Warnings: Mainly fluff, implied smut towards the end.

W/C: 1.1k

If someone would’ve told you a few years ago that you would be marrying Tony Stark, you would’ve laughed in their face. But that’s exactly what was happening today, you couldn’t wait to be Mrs. Stark. 

Nat helped you slip on your dress, it was everything you wanted in a dress. It hugged your curves in all the right places, the thigh slit was your favorite part, and you knew Tony would love it just as much. 

Wanda finished your makeup and smoothed out your hair before slipping your veil on. Nat stood beside Wana as they both admired you, tears filling their eyes at how beautiful you looked. You extended your arms out and hugged your friends, making sure you all touched foreheads. These girls meant the world to you, having them here was so special to you. 

“Please don’t cry! You’ll make me cry!” you said, attempting to fan your tears away. You all broke into laughter, squeezing each other one last time before pulling away. 

Wanda and Nat left the room to meet with Bruce and Vision, making their way down the aisle before standing in their designated places. Your mother came in, leading you into a tear-filled hug before walking you to your father, who waited at the start of the aisle. 

“You look beautiful, Y/N.” Your dad whispered, kissing the top of your head and bending his elbow for you to take. “Ready?” 

You gently nod your head, squeezing his arm as the doors open. In most cases, classical music would play while the bride walks down the aisle, but Tony decided to change that, letting Back in Black play as you walked down. The song brings a smile to your lips, shaking your head at his choice of music. 

You admire the venue as you walked down, it was a private wedding, just your closest friends and family. Your eyes land on Tony and you can feel your eyes starting to water, he looks so handsome. The green suit fits him perfectly, the color matching the scenery that decorated the venue. 

Reaching the end of the aisle, your dad gives you one last kiss before heading back to his seat. You look up and Tony and see him wiping his eyes, a giant smile plastered on his lips. He takes you in, eyes stalling a bit on the slit that showcases your thigh before reaching your eyes. You send him a quick wink and look over at the officiant. 

The officiant introduces the two of you, giving everyone a brief rundown on your relationship. They then address you, letting you know you’re responsibilities of marriage before allowing you to say your vows. Tony decides to go first. 

“Well I’m sure nobody thought we’d ever get to where we are now, but I’m so damn happy it happened. Y/N, from the first moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were my person. Now, I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with, but you’ve never failed to show me your raw and honest love.” His words are filled with love, tugging on your heartstrings. 

“You have taught me that two people joined together with respect, trust, and open communication can be far stronger and happier than each could ever be alone. You are the strength I didn't know I needed and the joy that I didn't know I lacked.” He stops and lets out a small laugh, you smile, knowing he’s about to throw in some of his personality into the moment. “I promise to never keep score, even when I'm clearly winning.” Everyone laughs at his words, knowing he couldn’t stay serious for too long. 

“But most importantly, I promise to love you for eternity, my love.” He maintains eyes contact as he says the last few words. 

The officiant looks over at you and nods, letting you know it’s your turn. You take a deep breath and speak. 

“You were my reason back then, my reason now, my reason every day. You make me feel happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible.” You look up and smile at Tony. 

“You know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow still you manage to love me. You are my best friend and one true love. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I’m the one who gets to marry you. I promise to love you on your good and bad days, I promise to be everything you need me to be as your partner.” 

“I know they say it’s till death do us part, but whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same. We’ll be together forever, darling.” You say, feeling butterflies in your stomach as Tony smiles up at you with teary eyes. 

Rhodey hands the both of you the rings. Extending your hand so Tony could slide your ring on, he does the same with his hand as you put his ring on. The officiant says their last words, letting you and Tony finally kiss. 

Tony pulls you in by your waist as you grab his face, pouring all your love into the kiss. You pull away and press your forehead onto his, both of you smiling like idiots. He leans in and kisses you again, tipping you back as everyone cheers. You laugh into the kiss and wrap your arms around your husband. He intertwines your fingers together as you two walk down the aisle to the car that waits for you. Happy opens the door as he congratulates you. 

“We’re married baby!” Tony says, the realization just hitting him. You laugh at his words, watching how his eyes lit up. “You’re officially Mrs. Stark,” biting his lips, loving how the last name suits you. 

He leans forwards and slots his lips with yours, leading you into a lust-filled kiss. His hands make their way to your thighs, taking advantage of the slit to touch your bare skin. You thread your fingers through his hair to bring him impossibly closer. 

The car suddenly stops as he starts to kiss down your jaw, you hear Happy exit the car and start to make his way around to open the door for you. 

“As much as I want you right now, we’re gonna have to wait a little bit longer, baby.” You say, pulling him away from your next and kissing his exaggerated pout. 

You turn around and grab Happys’ hand to get out of the car, Tony following close behind you. Entering the room, everyone cheers, bringing a smile to your face. You feel your husband places his hand on your ass, squeezing as he leans down towards your ear. 

“Bathroom in 15 minutes,” he whispers as he walks toward Rhodey and Bruce. 

You laugh and shake your head, you couldn’t wait to see what marriage had in store for the two of you. 

[iboatedhere]

His mother sends him home with enough leftovers to last the week, and Carlos leaves her with a promise to come visit during the week and two tickets for Thursday nights game. 

He drives back to Round Rock with the radio on low and the windows rolled down, decompressing. 

The first time he checks his phone isn’t until he’s back in the loft, about to text his mom to tell her he made it home. 

The screen is filled with a string of notifications from Twitter, all DMs from TK12Strand. 

The first one is a link back to the Express’ twitter account, to the post with TK’s introduction video. 

Carlos watches it still standing in the entryway to the loft, the stack of Tupperware in his hand. 

TK looks good in his fresh uniform, smiling for the camera as he poses with the bat over his shoulder while lights flash and music plays. The scene cuts to TK sitting in a director’s chair, playfully fixing his hair in the reflection of the camera lense before questions begin to scroll across the screen. What’s your favorite color? Who was your childhood hero? Favorite movie? Favorite food? Why did you choose your walk up song? What does TK stand for?

In the video TK laughs and points a finger at the camera. “That’s only for my mom when she gets mad.”

TK is charming and funny and when the video ends and Carlos scrolls through the replies, he’s not surprised to see people asking if he’s single. 

I think Marjan did a good job, TK writes. I think I look okay, right?

It was actually really fun. 

Some of the alternate uniforms you guys have are sick 

Do you even use this twitter account? I found your insta too but it’s even more boring than this one, no offense 

Shit, sorry for basically quadruple texting you while you’re enjoying time with your family. Can you tell I’m bored as I track the FedEx truck around the neighborhood? 

Carlos laughs and puts the leftovers in the fridge so he can focus fully on replying. 

He DMs TK his personal Instagram account along with his phone number.

That insta is private but I’ll add you, he writes, and that’s my number in case you want it. 

TK is quick to request a follow and after Carlos approves it there’s a minute of silence before another notification comes through. 

TK has liked a mirror selfie of Carlos in the gym from years back. Almost immediately, a text comes through from an unknown number.

Fuck, TK texts, please ignore that I liked your post from 3 years ago.

Nope.

Fine, if you’re going to keep me honest then….

TK comments on the photo with a dozen fire emojis followed by a few hot face emojis and the water droplet emoji. 

Carlos snorts then hits the call button. TK picks up on the first ring.

“You know my mom and sisters follow that account, right?”

“Your mom and sisters follow your thirst trap account?”

“That is not what it is.”

“C’mon, man, have you seen the photos on here?”

Carlos rolls his eyes, puts the call on speaker, and scrolls through his account. He’ll admit that there are a fair share of gym selfies, but there are also photos of downtown Austin, sunsets on the ranch, and Eli’s little league games. 

“Who exactly would I be trying to trap?” Carlos asks. “I only have twenty followers.”

“Twenty one now,” TK points out. “Does Marjan know about this? One man-crush-Monday post with one of these pics and you’d easily be the most popular Triple-A player on Instagram.”

“I don’t want to be the most popular,” Carlos says, “and Marjan does know about it. She keeps trying to follow me but I keep blocking her.”

“I bet she loves that.”

“It makes her so mad,” Carlos says with a laugh. 

“Wait, no one on the team does either. What is this account even for?”

“Myself, mostly.”

“Well, I promise your photos are safe with me. You didn’t take any photos tonight?”

“Didn’t have time.”

“Too busy talking to your dad and uncles about the game and to your aunts about your lack of a social life?”

“Something like that,” Carlos says. “My Tia Lucy got a dig in but besides that….the kids kept me pretty busy.”

“Are there a lot of them?”

“Between my sister’s and cousin’s kids there’s enough to form a baseball team.”

“I bet they think you’re so cool,” TK says. 

“It’s nice that someone does,” Carlos tells him and TK laughs. “Did your boxes get delivered?”

“They did,” TK says, “but I might have messed up. For some reason I didn’t think Texas would have the same climate as the sun so I don’t think I’ll be wearing ninety percent of the hoodies I brought. I’m down to gym shorts and t-shirts.”

“It can get cool at night.”

TK hums. “I’m not buying it. I’m glad you have fun tonight.”

Carlos nods, but thinks about how the night ended and how alone he felt even though he was surrounded by loved ones. 

“Thanks,” he tells TK before he clears his throat, working the emotion out. “I should probably get to bed.’

“Oh yeah,” TK says, “me too. First home game tomorrow, at least for me anyway.” 

“It’ll be fun,” Carlos tells him. “I know it’s a lot different from what you’re used to, but I think you’re really going to like it here.”

“I hope so,” TK tells him, “have a goodnight, Carlos. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

[huntertherapyeras]

all the things i don't talk about

anne voice: aster said it's my turn to have the breakdown.

but first, t4t4tsashannarcy's h/c tag club! (lmk if you want off the tag club, i'm mostly just tagging people who asked but also people i really want to see this!!! also feel free to ask to join the tag club also <3)

@mothicalspoken @useless-space-rock-lesbians @arcadiii @starryemeralds @oraclecoven @sweetstrangersearthquake @abyssalzones @insulationsun

title taken from "a pearl" by mitski!

Blurb: "Anne tosses and turns in bed that night. She can’t get comfortable. First, there are too many shadows in her room, so she plugs in her old night light. And then there’s the storm. Anne used to love the way rain sounded against her window, but ever since that first week in Amphibia, it’s only brought a sense of vague discomfort. Makes her feel like any moment she’ll be back in that cave, hiding from the predators outside alongside the worms.

And usually, she can ignore it. But tonight she feels raw, like the exposed nerves of a nail bitten to the quick. Like anything and everything can hurt her.

It’s a scary feeling."

AO3 Link

Word Count: 2,305 words

Content Warning: There is an explicit breakdown, implications of death, implications of harm to children, and an intense depiction of PTSD triggers!

It’s a normal night in the Boonchuy household. Or at least, as normal as a house hosting a family of extradimensional talking frogs can be. Anne is sitting on the couch, browsing through Tweeter, a Thai drama acting as background music to her scrolling. It’s Polly’s turn to use the TV, evidenced by the painstakingly organized schedule pinned to the wall next to it in plain view for the entire house to see – Anne had to write it out a couple of weeks into coming back home because the Plantars kept fighting over who got remote privileges. The quick murmur of Thai is a balm on Anne’s soul, soothing after months of not hearing the language at all.

That’s the thing about being home – Anne finds that things she used to take for granted are somehow more meaningful than before. As it turns out, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

“This is so boring!” complains Sprig. He wilts into the couch dramatically, sending a glare in Polly’s direction.

Polly gleefully ignores him, transfixed by her show. Anne is still surprised by how well she understands it – it took Anne herself years to get the level of fluency she has now. Which is to say, none whatsoever.

Anne’s neck prickles. She can feel Sprig’s eyes staring holes into her. She sighs.

“What’s up, dude?” Anne asks, giving him the side eye.

“I was wondering something…” he replies.

“Okay. Shoot.”

“So… are you going to tell your parents about Sasha and M–”

“No.” Anne interrupts before he can finish the thought.

“Why not? It seems like it’s bothering you a lot.” Sprig asks. Anne hates how his large eyes sparkle with concern. Even without looking at him, she knows the exact face he’s making right now.

“They don’t need to know. You saw how they reacted to finding out about the robots.”

“But isn’t it important? I mean, Marcy–”

The door opens with a bang. In strolls Anne’s mother, arms full of groceries.

“Anne,” she orders, “Go get the rest of the groceries from the car.”

After helping put the groceries away, Anne assists in preparing for dinner. She can’t help but smile fondly as her Mom sings a gushy love song under her breath while she chops the shallots. Tonight they are making ลาบ, or larb, which is one of her Dad’s favorite foods. Anne is excited to have it again – it’s the first time they’ve made it since she got back from Amphibia. She’d tried to make larb with maggots at Stumpy’s, but it just wasn’t the same as the real deal.

“Got it!” Anne says eagerly, hopping up off the couch. Now that Mom’s home, she can avoid talking about it for the remainder of the night. That’s good enough for now. With any luck, Sprig will forget about the conversation by tomorrow.

“Cut the spring onions, will you?” her Mom asks. Anne dutifully does so.

“Good girl. Now go ahead and sit down. You know I don’t like cooking with other people in the room, ที่รัก. (Dear.)”

Anne sits down on the couch with a sigh. Polly is still watching her show, but Sprig is nowhere to be found. That’s probably for the best anyway. She doesn’t particularly want to be questioned right now and Sprig is full of those.

And Anne isn’t sure why she feels this way, but it still puts her on edge.

“Look, Anne!!! สมชาย (Somchai) is about to ask มาลัย (Malai) to marry him!” Anne looks up from her phone to watch. Despite her lack of fluency in the language, she quickly gets sucked into the proposal.

All is well until the smell wafts in from the kitchen. And it’s kind of weird, because normally the scent of cooked pork would make her mouth water. But here, right now, it’s making her feel… uncomfortable. Grossed out. Anxious, even.

“Dinner’s ready,” Calls Mom a few minutes later. Consumed by her discomfort, the yell makes Anne startle and drop her phone. When she picks it up, she notices that her hands are shaking. Weird.

The tremors continue as she sets the table. Anne has to work hard to not place the plates down too hard. The cutlery rattles in her hands loudly, but she tries her best to quiet it. It’s fine, everything is fine. Anne doesn’t even know why she’s feeling this way. It’s like there’s a ticking bomb in her chest, set to explode at a hair trigger.

It doesn’t matter, though. All that matters right now is getting through dinner.

Anne tries her best to act as Normal As Possible as they all sit down to eat. She moves on autopilot, smiling whenever someone looks at her and making casual conversation. And she thinks she’s doing okay, until –

“Anne, are you going to eat your ลาบ (larb)? It’s usually your favorite…”

She decidedly ignores the call of her name that follows.

Anne forces a smile. It feels as fake as plastic, pulling against her tense jaw, “It’s good! But I’m actually not very hungry right now, haha. Must’ve eaten too many snacks this afternoon, you know me,” she lets out a nervous laugh, energy like electricity dancing up her back as she runs a hand through her tangled curls, “Actually, I think I’m gonna go get started on that unit five book report and go to bed early. Goodnight!”

Anne tosses and turns in bed that night. She can’t get comfortable. First, there are too many shadows in her room, so she plugs in her old night light. And then there’s the storm. Anne used to love the way rain pounded against her window, but ever since that first week in Amphibia it’s only brought a sense of vague discomfort. Makes her feel like any moment she’ll be back in that cave, hiding from the predators outside alongside the worms.

And usually, she can ignore it. But tonight she feels raw, like the exposed nerves of a nail bitten to the quick. Like anything and everything can hurt her.

It’s a scary feeling.

Eventually, though, she does doze off. But even then, her dreams are anything but peaceful.

It starts with her running through a forest. There is Something coming, something big, and it’s after her. She runs and runs. Her lungs feel like they are going to burst. Black dots spot her vision. She accidentally stumbles into quicksand. It takes a second for her to get her foot out. She continues running, barely noticing her lost shoe until she gets her sock wet crossing a rocky stream. She keeps going anyway, terror traveling through her veins like the blood keeping her alive. She’s got to go, got to go, got to go, got to get away –

She’s on top of toad tower, shoulder aching as she holds onto Sasha for dear life. Her hand is sweaty. She can feel Sasha slipping. Her recently crushed forearm is filled with a searing pain. But it doesn’t matter. Without Anne’s hand, Sasha will fall to her death.

“Hey, Anne? Maybe you’re better off without me.” Sasha says before she lets go–

They’re in the throne room. Anne feels a mixture of exhaustion and adrenaline. They’re so close, so close to home, they’re going to escape, all three of them, they’re going to be okay…

Before she can breathe out a sigh of relief, though, Marcy looks up at her, “I just need to–” she’s cut off mid sentence, a flaming sword through her gut.

Anne startles awake with a barely muffled shout. Her heart beats a heavy staccato against her chest. This isn’t the first time she’s had this dream. Normally, she’d get up. Pace around a bit like her cat does when she’s feeling boxed in. But right now, the fear is too great for her to even move. It’s like there’s something coming, like someone’s gonna fall, like there’s a sword against her back. But there isn’t. She’s at home, in bed. Domino stares at Anne curiously from the foot of her bed.

She needs to calm down, Anne knows she does. But her heart is beating like she’s running for her life and her head is spinning and it feels like all the air’s been sucked out of the room and she is so, so afraid. So instead she begins to cry.

And she tries to stay quiet, she does. But frogs have very good hearing. And the guest room shares a wall with her own.

“Anne?” says a tentative voice. Anne looks up. She didn’t even notice the door open, lost in her own mind as she was. Sprig is looking at her with his big, innocent eyes. He looks worried.

“Anne, are you okay?”

Beside herself, Anne simply lets out a keening cry, burying her face in her hands as though that will somehow make the tears go away. She hates it when people see her cry, hasn’t showed weakness like this in front of someone since she was six years old, and yet–

And yet.

“Now see here, what’s going on?” Comes Hop Pop’s stern grumble.

“Anne’s upset.” murmurs Sprig, sounding small and scared, “I don’t know what to do.”

Anne wraps her arms around her legs, burying her face in her knees. She doesn’t deserve their kindness, doesn’t deserve a lick of it–not when Sasha is stuck in a terrifying world full of talking amphibians, not when Marcy is–

“Anne? Do you need me to get your parents?” Hop Pop asks in a soft tone, putting his webbed hand on her knee. She flinches at his touch, then shakes her head desperately. Nonono, they can’t see this. Can’t see her break down. What will they think of her, if they know how scared she is? Will they even let her go back if they find out? She is strong, she is brave, she can handle this and anything the world throws at her.

If only she could just breathe.

But the thing is, the moment Anne tries to focus on her breathing, she becomes all too aware of the rest of her body–the beating of her too-fast heart, the way her hair feels like spiderwebs on her neck, the way her lungs burn from all the running–the way that she’s breathing. It’s a never-ending cycle of try to breathe, realize you can’t, get scared because you can’t breathe and everything is uncomfortable and scary and you can’t feel your hands and the rain is going to drown you like a tidal wave. Rinse and repeat.

And of course, concerned as they are at her obvious and embarrassing breakdown, the Plantars get her parents anyway.

“Anne? Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Anne curls up tighter. Even if she could begin to explain all the things wrong right now, she wouldn’t. There’s too much at stake. Maybe, in an ideal world, she would be a perfect person. Maybe, in an ideal world, Anne would be known as her parent’s responsible daughter. Maybe, in an ideal world, Marcy and Sasha would be home, and safe, and they would all be spending their days making mischief in the park and drinking their weight in boba.

But this isn’t an ideal world. And Anne is not an ideal person. Anne is not her parent’s responsible daughter.

She’s just a scared kid, and she is so tired.

“Oh, Annie,” Mom says softly, sitting down on Anne’s bed. She reaches out a smooth hand out, grabbing one of Anne’s callused ones and rubbing her fingers along the ridges soothingly. The action is so comforting, so familiar, that Anne has to bite back a wail. It’s like she’s three years old again and crying over a skinned knee. God, she would do anything for a small surface wound to be her biggest problem. Slowly, as though telegraphing her movements, Anne’s mom scoots in close to her daughter, enveloping her in a hug. Only then does Anne realize how cold she is, how her entire body feels like she’s soaked to the bone in ice water.

“Anne. Can you breathe for me?”

Anne tries again to breathe, but it just won’t come. She shakes her head.

“Mmm, let’s try something else,” Mom says, situating Anne so that her ear is placed directly against her heart, “Can you hear my heart beating?”

Anne nods. But she isn’t sure Mom can feel that, so she makes a little sound instead.

“Listen to my heartbeat, Annie. Do you hear it?”

Anne makes another sound to say yes.

“Good girl. Can you copy my breathing now? Listen.”

Anne tries. It takes a few minutes of concentration, but eventually her own heart begins to mimic the calmer thrum of Mom’s slow and steady one.

“Just like when you were a baby, hm? You used to love my hugs,” Mom says wistfully, “When did you grow up?”

Anne frowns, burying her face in her mother’s chest. As much as she tries to act like it nowadays, she feels as far from “grown up” as she can get. And she’s tired of trying, if she’s being honest.

“I’m proud of you, you know,” Mom continues, “You work so hard to help the Plantars. But you have to work hard to help yourself, too.”

Anne deflates. Mom’s right. But it’s just so hard to take care of yourself when all you can think about is someone else. It’s a heavy burden, but one she has to bear. Maybe though, just maybe, she doesn’t have to bear it on her own.

“Mom?” she says. Her voice is hoarse. Her throat feels dry and scratchy like sandpaper.

“Yes, ที่รัก (dear)?”

“I need to talk to you about something. Dad too. But I’m… I’m not sure how to.”

“Take your time. We’ll be here when you are ready.”

“Promise?” Anne asks.

“I promise.”

[bloodycassian]

A FEAST - Azriel x readder. Prompt - Reader is injured and knocked out for days. Cassian gets him to finally leave your side for one meal and Nyx brings a guest with him...

"The Dragons Song is the best one, hands down." Nesta argued, hacking through the brush.  "That one is full of the same scenes every time." You judged, pushing a branch out of the way. The jungle was a mess of twists and turns to work through, but thankfully one of the fishermen on the dock had sold you a compass at a descent price. "A little more right for a few more miles and we'll be there." You steered her on course.  "At least it dosent say 'honeydew' every scene." She made a fake gagging noise and you laughed. The sound was muffled in the crowded forest. She hacked her way through the brush, one vine at a time. Until you finally reached the clearing. It was hot in the direct sun, a few degrees different than what the shade of the forest had been. You paced the perimiter, meeting her at the other side. "You mean Cassian dosen't like honeydew?" You wiggled your eyebrows at her.  "Az does?" She challenged, earning a laugh from you. "The ones that you like are predictable beyond measure." You countered, earning a quick smile before your attention snapped across the meadow. To a giant hog serpent with venomous tusks that gleamed with their clear liquid. You swore and you and Nesta both drew swords at the same time.  + Nesta ended the hog, but not before it had the chance for those razor sharp tusks to marr your legs with deep wounds. The venom stung, flowing into your bloodstream and paralyzing you slowly. You gasped at the sheer blinding pain it brought. "Nes-" You choked out between sobs. "Tell Az... Tell Az I love him." You smiled to her, putting a hand on her cheek. "No, no way. You're gonna tell him yourself. Stay awake. We're on the way." She reached deep to that bond to Cassian, and a flare of alertness greeted her. Then, a thrill of fire. "On the way. Rhys will be there in a few. Are you okay?" "Fine, she's delirious. She needs a healer and a detox for the venom." She thought back, sighing when she felt Rhys' presence. "Wheres Az?" You managed out of your chattering teeth. You were losing the fight against the venom quickly. It would have you under in a few minutes if Rhys didn't hurry to a healer. He placed a hand on you and darkness surrounded.  "Cassian will-" He started to Nesta, "I know, get her safe." She rushed, urging him to winnow you already. When Cassian saw the amount of blood spilled, he cursed.  "Most of it was the beast." Nesta cleaned her sword on an overgrown leaf that jutted down into the meadow.  Her hands shook when she sheathed it. "Nes." He stopped her when she turned. "Nes..." He repeated, giving her a long look. She tried to hide her face, the terror there. "Lets go." He pulled her to his side and took off, holding her close to him. He said nothing about the tears that flowed to his shoulder. He just gripped her tighter.   + Azriel had nearly broken the door when he stormed in. And he hadn't left your side since. Nesta stayed when she could, letting Azriel relax enough to sleep now and again. He trusted her to wake him if anything changed in your status.  When he woke, he heard his brother's voice first. Quiet an hurried in tone, him and Nesta argued by the door. "He wont leave. You've already tried, just leave him alone." Nesta was scolding. Cassian gripped her hands, then whipped his head over to his brother when he saw him stretching on the bench.  "Hey Az-" Cassian smiled, bounding over to his brother like a puppy. "You remmeber Madja saying it may take up to a week, right? How about you come to dinner up at the house with us."  "I dont want to miss if she-" "Come on, Nyx will be there. Mor's coming back from the continent tonight too." Cassian tempted, poking at the old flame Azriel carried for the female. She was still incredible, and one of Azriels best friends, but he no longer felt that flame towards her. You had come along and crushed it with a bat of your eyelashes and a few quick witted insults at Cas. Nesta started pulling him away, giving you an apologetic smile. "It would be nice for you to be there is all he means." She began pushing him out the door, despite his protests.  "Think about it! She wouldn't want you to be mourning while she's alive!" Cassian shouted, earning a smack from Nesta. Azriel smiled despite the dark nature of the situation. He pulled a chair up beside your resting body. It had been three days. How would he know if you were awake or not? He tugged on that dark link you shared together, and came up with the same unresponsiveness as before. He sighed, but took your hand anyway, falling asleep again to the sound of your soft breathing. + He decided to stay for just an hour. He would spare his family that much. He kissed you goodbye and tried his best to ignore the guilt he felt for leaving you behind. But Cassian was right. He knew that when you woke up you'd be upset about him not going. So he put on his brave face and flew up to the house of wind, to the joy of everyone. They clapped upon his arrival, making his cheeks burn. Mor gave him a hug and promised to catch up. But she hovered around a fae you hadn't met yet. A female that she watched with wide sparkling eyes. Azriel's chest bloomed with pride at the sight of them being so close, so full of life for each other.  He looked away from the two, and sent his shadows out to Rhys. And found what he was seeking. He darted over to the end of the table where the high lord and lady sat across from each other. The head table was empty, and filthy. "That's a small monster if I've ever seen one." He bent and scooped Nyx up from under the table. He wriggled and laughed.  "No monster Azzy." Nyx babbled, pulling on his uncle's hair.  "No pulling hair!" Rhys scolded, making Nyx laugh even more. Feyre sighed. "You're just having fun. How about we go for a fly down to-" "Don't say it, Az." Rhy's tone went from scolding to pleading. Even though the baby couldn't fly yet, it was one of his favorite things to do. He could see how Rhys' son would be skilled at flying with just the way he angled his head when accompanying. Az poked at Nyx's belly and they fought like that for a few moments, Nyx eventually winnowing away with the joy only a child could have.  Azriel froze, looking to the high lord and lady for comfort. Having a baby disappear in your arms was strange, even for Fae babies. "When'd he start doing that?" "Four days ago." Feyre sighed. She looked utterly exhausted. "We've been having to take turns staying up with him." Rhys held her hand across the table, they shared a sweet look together then they both whipped their heads to Nyx in unison. "Dont-" Feyre warned, giving her son a stern look as he pulled at the tablecloth. Amren gave the boy a look of discouragement as well when he looked around for someone to be laughing with him. He stopped after those silver eyes met his.  Nesta gave Az a smile from across the room where she and Cassian welcomed the toddoling boy. "Let's start training, Nyxie. Come on, show me what you got." Cassian got on his knees to the floor and the two began wrestling together. Azriel took a seat beside Rhys, picking at the crackers and cheese platter before him.  "When were we planning on going back to the Island?" Rhys asked, voice low. Cassian rolled with Nyx on the ground, making Nesta laugh when the boy pulled at Cas' hair. "I'm not going until my mate is healed. Maybe you should send them, see how much trouble they can get in."  Az asked, trying to keep the hinting out of his voice. He wanted to go take care of it on his own. The mission on the Island was not complete and he didn't want to risk anyone again. He'd rather do it and make sure it was a finished job. He couldn't bare to see you be hurt over a fellow Valkyrie getting hurt either. "You know they would kill each other.... or themselves trying to protect the other." Feyre smiled despite herself. She knew it was the truth. Her sister being happy for once was a joy like no other.  "Mom and Dad need to eat, Az you too." Cassian ordered. He bounced the boy on his legs, making him pretend fly. Azriel picked at the plate that appeared before him. The warm meat and stew looked incredible, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. The guilt was the only thing that weighed in his stomach. "I should go check on-" He began to say, folding his napkin back on the table. "How is she?" Cassian interrupted from the floor. Nesta was playing with Nyx now, rattling a toy around for him. Azriel kept his calm mask on, trying to fight the urge to check on you. The black haired boy looked to her with upset eyes. "Auntie?" He said, voice a bit whiny.  "Auntie is napping, she'll be back in a little while." Nes assured. Azriel's heart squeezed at the love Nyx showed. Then, the boy was gone.  The parents were digging into their plates. It was likely the only meal they'd shared together in the four days of taking turns watching Nyx. "Rhys-" Az began, terror sweeping his gut. Nyx was no where in sight. Nesta and Cassian both shot to their feet when they didn't spot him.  Then, the plates in front of Azriel clattered and shot food everywhere. Mor and her date yelped and fled their chairs, mor pushing the other female behind her. Azriel's shadows coiled, siphons glared ready to fight.  And Rhys didnt move as he observed the waking fae before him. The tug on Azriel's bond went taut. "Auntie here!" Nyx celebrated, patting your chest. You groaned and cracked open your eyes to see Azriel's shadows swirling about you. "Are you okay?!" Azriel gripped your shoulders,  his warm hands seeping into your thin shirt. The sweats you wore were now stained with whatever food had been on the table. Rhys put down his fork slowly. "I wasn't expecting to be this kind of snack Az..." You said softly. Rhy's cheeks went red. Mor laughed first, her date looked to her with bewilderment and worry. Cassian rushed over and picked Nyx up from your stomach. "I think there's a fork in my back." You said, voice gruff.  A hysterical laugh bubbled from Azriel, then the rest of them were cracking up. "Nyx... Thanks." Azriel breathed, and the boy began clapping.  + Once you were back on your feet and Madja had given you the go ahead to take it easy, you asked Azriel to go on a walk with you. The stretch of your legs was sore, but the good kind of sore that left you feeling better and better with each step. The cool wind from the Sidra whipped around you. He wrapped a wing around both of you as you reached the apex of a bridge.  "I owe that baby everything." He laughed, squeezing your hand tighter. The city was quiet, only soft music coming from the Rainbow and the calm trickle of the Sidra sounding out. "Nyx the Valkyrie deliverer."  You laughed together, leaning against the railing on the bridge. The streetlights above cast a wonderful color over you, illuminating you both in a silvery shade that matched the moonlight. "I love you." You said, resting your head against his shoulder. It had been a long night, and who knew how long of sleeping... but you were tired.  "Love you." He nudged you away so he could hook his finger under your chin and angle you up to kiss him. You wrapped your arms around him and compiled, letting the bond hum through you like a song.

[glowingbadger]

Okay folks, get ready for a Modern Au Fluffy Megapost~

Firstly, Sylvain and Dimitri have gotten a fluff post already that you can see here if you like! I'll think about whether I have anything to add that would be relevant to a Modern AU for them, but their sections are gonna be shorter as a result.

Yuri, Felix, Ashe x GN Reader

Fluffy relationship headcanons - SFW

Yuri:

- At first, it's not really in Yuri's base nature to be soft and gentle towards a lover. "Delicate" in the cunning, teasing sense, perhaps- but vulnerable and kind? Less so. Which is why it's a bizarre feeling for him when he finds himself wanting to be softer to you- wanting to comfort you and hold you and protect you. He doesn't really know what to do with this new-found tenderness at first, but it will start to manifest in how he treats you despite himself. His tone is completely different with you, he smiles to himself whenever he checks his phone to see you've messaged him, he starts saving songs you mention to listen to later- he simply can't help it.

- He won't let on that he's got quite a lovely singing voice for some time (he intentionally doesn't audition for musicals)- but one night, as your head rests on his lap as he reviews a script for the next play on campus that he's performing in, he starts quietly humming to himself. He stops as soon as he realizes you've noticed, but you carefully say, "I'm... pretty sure I recognize that song- how does the rest go?" He indulges you, humming the rest, even peppering in some of the lyrics. But by the end, he smiles with a quirked eyebrow and pokes your cheek playfully, "Don't think you fooled me with that line earlier- you couldn't repeat a single note of that song, you were just goading me into singing it."

- After this though, he does treat you to a song or two whenever you're upset or not feeling well. He knows that, with all of the complex and duplicitous relationships he's left behind him, it's a relief to finally have something he can give you that he's never willingly given to a partner before. So when you're sick or stressed or dealing with a mental health issue, he'll stroke your hair and sing softly to you, the quiet smile you wear tugging sweetly at his heart.

Dimitri:

(most of my thoughts are in the link above)

- Dimitri loves doing boyfriend tasks for you, like carrying heavy things (really any things) for you, reaching the top shelf, opening jars (he has broken one or two), and so on. He's the type to make sure to hold the umbrella over you even if it means he gets rained on.

- He's a clumsy texter, and his messages to you are always full of type-o's and ridiculous auto-corrects. He also has every voicemail you've ever left him saved on his phone and will listen to them when he hasn't seen you for a while.

Sylvain:

(once again, he's in the link up there)

- He sends you stupid memes of animals with "this is us" typed below. Most of his signs of affection are dumb and cute but goofy like that, and getting him to actually level with you and express his genuine love and care for you can be pretty rare.

- Sylvain secretly likes romcoms, like, a lot. He tries to brush it off, saying, "Oh you know, I've just seen a lot of them on dates." but his encyclopedic knowledge of their plots and cast suggest otherwise. Once he fesses up to you though, he refuses to meet your gaze and mutters, "it's just.. nice sometimes to think that a relationship can actually be like that, y'know?"

Felix:

- He's so bad at being soft, but he wants to be for you, but also doesn't want to be because ew feelings. Which he has a lot of. This is why the main way he expresses his affection is through physical contact. It's mostly in private, where he can be super cuddly with you- but in public, he'll still find times to lightly brush his hand against yours, or an excuse to "fix" your hair, mumbling, "It's flying all over the place, hold still-" even though it's really not that out of place, he just wants a reason to touch you.

- Felix is a funny one to bring your problems to. He's actually a surprisingly good listener for someone he cares about, so he's happy to just hold onto your hand and listen to you vent about whatever's bothering you. If it's an interpersonal problem, he'll probably offer to confront or straight up fight whoever is giving you trouble, which might at least get you to laugh, even though he fully means it. But for a more serious problem, he'll quietly wipe away your tears and remind you, "Hey, listen- you just... keep living your life as you, okay? You can't be anyone else, and I don't want you to be."

- He secretly loves it when you play with his hair. While he's studying or gaming, he likes to lean back against the edge of his bed or a couch and have you sitting behind him brushing out his hair, or even braiding or pulling it up for him if you like. He finds your touch incredibly soothing, and there have even been times when he's spaced out a bit and completely forgotten what he was doing because he was just enjoying your nails along his scalp and your fingers through his hair. Honestly, it's a bit like scratching a cat's ears- he'll even subconsciously lean against you if he's not careful.

Ashe:

- 'soft' is Ashe's default state in a relationship, and it is just the cutest. He wears his affections openly on his sleeve, and if you're upset or unwell, his concern is completely obvious. When you're sick, he'll immediately start looking up your symptoms and any possible solutions, and he's always got extra pillows and blankets to lend you. He knows your favorite snacks and movies by heart, and always has them on hand for off-days.

- He loves cooking for you, and cooking with you, if you're into it. There's something so intimate and domestic about making and enjoying meals together, and he has an uncanny way of making the best of even a crappy little college dorm/apartment kitchenette. Though, you're going to have to set some strict boundaries with your friends about date nights, because if you let them, your friends and his will swarm to his cooking and mooch off of the fruits of your labor- and we all know Ashe is too nice to say no.

- Ashe absolutely wants to own a pet with you. Perhaps even before moving in together, he'll help you select a small, low maintenance pet, and he'll always be delighted to come visit it and help you take care of it. If you're living together, he definitely wants a cat or a small dog, and he's a total pet-dad about it. He'll give them cute little bandanas to wear, experiment with which brand of food they seem to like best and so on. He gets a bit shy if you tease him about his doting, but ultimately, he'll just kiss your cheek or forehead and say, "I just want to take care of you both as best I can, that's all."

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recommendations 2021: Week 1 & 2 | January 1-9

Welcome to my first ever list of recommendations! In this week's list, you’ll find links to my favorite stories I've read in the past week. Eventually, I would like to also share some of my other favorite things on this site, but for now, it's just stories. If you would like your story featured in a future post just use #ktkvcbreadinglist

Be aware most of the stories and writers on this list are 18+ over writers and my blog is an 18+ blog.

Week 3 »

Chris Evans

Sealed with an Accident by @coolemmasulivan • Chris Evans x Reader — Fluffy and sweet, we need it after the week we just had.

Steve Rogers

Fill Me Up by @jtargaryen18 • Steve Rogers x Reader — Sweet, but hot.

Ransom Drysdale

The Highest Bidder by pagesoflauren • Ransom Drysdale x Reader – Graduate school is expensive, especially when you’ve moved out of state and going to school in Boston. Bills pile up, and soon your bank account is looking grim, with no choice left but to auction off what you deem your most valuable asset: your virginity. | Sequel: Money’s Worth

her cherry lips on his whiskey flavoured kiss by @cloudystevie • Love Drunk Ransom x Reader – Ransom was never a one for till he met you. (The smut in this is just beautiful.)

Andy Barber

Blackmail by @stargazingfangirl18 • Darkish!Andy Barber x Reader – Mob!Andy Barber? YES, please! I didn't know I was missing out till I was reading this. The writing is great and it leaves you wanting more. Kudos to the writer and thank you for the filthy smut.

Bucky Barnes

Golden by @rebeccccccaaa • King!Bucky x Knight!Reader – King Bucky loses his wife after she falls sick, his kingdom demands he remarries, preferably to a nearby kingdom to form an alliance. The problem is the isn't the one, but her knight, however, well she was a pleasant surprise for the King.

'Tis The Damn Season by @sweeterthanthis & @msmarvelwrites • Bucky Barnes x Reader – Angst/Smut/Man Whore Bucky and Taylor Swift what more could I ask for? There is now Taylor Swift in this, it’s just named after the song but it’s just as angsty as the song and perfect. *EDIT: Before I just had Lau as the writer, but Brontë was a co-writer on it and it makes me enjoy it even more!*

Rule Number Four by @buckyswinterbaby • softdom!Bucky Barnes x Reader – Can I just say this is just perfect? Like if I had to picture Bucky as a dom, this is how I would see him. Also, this one-shot isn't too graphic, so if you are looking for a little something but nothing too heavy this is the one for you.

Exile by @sweeterthanthis • Bucky Barnes x Reader – Get yourself some tissues, because I needed them, but again this last week had my hormones on haywire. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Lau uses Grey's Anatomy quotes in this and of course, it’s based on Taylor Swift's song Exile so it’s got some Major Angst, this isn’t a happy one-shot but it does have smut. I love it so much. Thank you for blessing us with your creativity Lau!

Alcoholic Juice Box by @ayybtch • Bucky x Reader – Best Boyfriend ever meets adulting sucks significant other, but he’ll do whatever he can to make them happy.

Cold Body by @sergeant-bonky • Bucky x Reader – Pure Fluff and cuddles, everything I needed after last week.

Santa Baby by @shield-agent78 • Bucky x Darcy Lewis Friends/Bucky x Reader – Steve needs some super-soldier Advil to put up with Bucky but knows Darcy can help him! This is just so fluffy and perfect! I ship Bucky and Darcy but also seeing them as friends is great!

Cookie Monster by @bugsbucky • Dad!Bucky & Daughter – STRAIGHT UP FLUFF THAT FEEDS YOUR SOUL

Stucky

Secrets by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor • Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader x Dark! King Steve Rogers – A buried family secret comes to light thrusting you to the forefront of an old alliance. (Sorry there is no Masterlist and I know Roo has 7 Chapters as of right now.)

The Concubine by cherinenymphe • DARK!Stucky x Concubine!Reader — Reader is favorite Concubine of the King Steve Rogers, and when he joins forces with King James Barnes, she soon finds herself the favorite of both kings. How long can reader satisfy the kings before jealousy arises risking both kingdoms alliances?

Not Red Riding Hood by @angrythingstarlight • A/B/O Dynamics Dark Stucky x Reader – Sometimes you just need to read about some wolfs chasing after you to claim and what do you know it’s good in a dark sort of way. *winks*

Misc.

This Mission by @quietmyfearswith • Captain Syverson x Stucky x Reader – Is it getting hot in here? Because I sure needed to be doused in a bucket of ice water after reading this! It’s got EVERYTHING!

treat you well | stackie by @sexyxseabassx • Stackie x Reader – SMUT/Threesome ~ I didn't know I needed Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, and Reader inserts in my life or anything of the sorts really till I read this, and I loved it. All I can say is that I hope Shreya brings us more. Thank you for blessing us with this one-shot.

Writers

@pagesoflauren – Let me tell you about my friend Lauren... Lauren is a fantastic writer, she is always blowing me away with her talents. I’m also in awe of how she always makes time to give us chapters even though she has a hectic life schedule. If you take the time to read Lauren’s writing I promise you won't be let down, it's some of the most amazing pieces I’ve ever read. She's constantly coming up with new stuff.

@sweeterthanthis – I binged Lau’s masterlist and let me just say, they are are a freaking amazing writer. Lau made me cry, laugh, and get angry with the reader inserts! Lau’s talents know no bounds. I look forward to see what 2021 has in store for Lau.

@literate-lamb – I binged their small yet so good masterlist as well. They are a really good writer of dark!fics and they have a way of pulling you in and making you feel as if you are in it.

@cherienymphe – Don’t know how I slept so long on her blog, but her writing is dark and beautiful. It sends chills down your spine and it also makes you weep for the characters. Truly beautiful! *chefs kiss*

[staticscreenwriting]

Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes

One - When Harry met Sally 

Synopsis: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. Growing  up, Bucky had not a doubt in his mind that his undeniable charm and his gorgeous smile would one day help him find the one. Now he realizes there’s so much more to romancing women, especially those from the 21st century. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is not a love story. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for EP1 of TFATWS)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

“ Now in the movies they make it look so perfect And in the background they're always playing the right song And in the ending there's always a resolution But real life is more than just two hours long “

Some Avett Brothers song sounds from the little radio that sits on the corner of the counter. Thick drops of rain pearl against the window, racing each other down the glass before meeting up eventually and becoming one with each other. 

(Y/N) refills the last of the mustard bottles, setting it on the counter next to the others. It’s a quiet night at the diner. The kitchen’s been closed for an hour now and usually, that’s when people stop coming in. While the Little Blue Diner is known for their hot dogs and burgers, neither their coffee nor their cold sandwiches are gonna win any prizes any time soon. 

And yet …

Sure enough, as her eyes lift towards the figure slouched down in the corner booth, his gloved hand is already outstretched, signaling his desire for yet another refill.

A mixture between a chuckle and a scoff tumbles from her lips at the thought of him wanting more of the slightly burned liquid. If there’s one thing (Y/N) can admit to being bad at, it’s brewing coffee. Where there should be a rich brown color, hers usually ends up with an inky black hue and instead of leaving a hint of warm caramelization on your tongue hers just tastes bitter. It doesn’t seem to face the man in the corner though. Not even a little bit. To say this worries her is a bit of an understatement. No one in their right mind would take 7 refills of her witch's brew.

“ You okay, my dude ? “ (Y/N) inquires as she steps up to his table, coffee pot in hand. 

The man doesn’t look up at her. He doesn’t have to. She’s acutely aware of the character currently occupying the corner booth. It’s a face she knows like the back of her hand. One that’s been staring at her from books and documentaries, one she’s been greeted by every time her dad took her with him to the Smithsonian. Though they do not dare look up at her, she’s so awfully familiar with the bright blue shade of his eyes, he might as well be a long-time friend. 

“ I’m fine. “ 

Of all the lies in the world, “I’m fine” must be the most unbelievable one and yet the one told most often. No one who’s actually fine ever says those words. Those two words are reserved for the lonely and broken only. It’s like getting “I’m not fine at all” tattooed across your goddamn forehead. 

“ Sure you are, that’s why you’re having the 7th refill of my god awful coffee. “ 

“ ‘s not that bad. “ 

“ Sure, if you’re into licking charcoal it’s probably not that bad. “

It’s just a split of a second, a fraction of a moment, but (Y/N) is sure she can see the corner of his lips lifting slightly. It falls back into the stoic scowl immediately but it was there. For a teeny tiny moment, there was the shadow of a smirk on his face and that’s a success in her book. 

“ Either way, here’s how we’re gonna do this. I’ll give you one last refill, after that, I’m cutting you off, my friend. I know I’m a waitress and it’s my job to bring you what you want but I do not fancy watching you suffer a caffeine-induced heart attack in this very diner. I am not equipped to handle a situation like that and quite honestly they don’t pay me enough to deal with that either. “ 

His eyes are still trained on the scratched-up white linoleum table but ever so faintly he nods his head in silent agreement. 

As promised, she pours him one last cup of coffee. A brew so dark it could rival the bubbling goo of a tar pit. 

“ Enjoy your last cup of the night, Mr. Barnes. “ 

It’s then, as she’s just about to walk back behind the counter, as those words leave her lips, that he looks up for the first time since he’s walked in. 

His eyes are the exact shade of blue she’s so familiar with but there’s something else about them. An infinite sadness haunts every spec of blue. Where she thought there would be a sparkle of adventure, a hint of mischief, there is just loneliness. This is not the man she’s read about in museums, heard about in stories. This man right here is completely and utterly lost.

“ I - I uh — “ 

He clears his throat, once, twice, then nervously brushes his hand across his face. 

“ I can go if you don’t want me here. “ 

“ Huh? “ 

“ I asked if you want me to leave. “ 

As those words escape him, his eyes seem to grow even more devastated. They glimmer with memories of a time long gone and a future uncertain. Shine with hurt and fear. 

“ Why would I ask you to leave? “ 

Bucky shrugs his shoulders in a way to make it look nonchalantly. It’s hard to seem casual though when you seem to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders. 

“ People who recognize me usually aren’t so keen on having me around. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m uh — I’m not people’s favorite person. “ 

It’s a sad thought, (Y/N) realizes, to be constantly bound to a past that is yours but never really belongs to you. To be forever linked with the horrible actions of a version of yourself you had no control over. And no matter how hard you try to set it all right and to repent for your wrongdoings, to some people it will never be enough.

“ No, you don’t have to leave, “ (Y/N) reassures before sliding into the booth opposite him. “ I don’t know you because of — because of what happened. I know you first and foremost as Sergeant Barnes, former officer of the 107th Infantry Regiment, part of the Howling Commandos, and best friend and brother to Steve Rogers. Everything else that’s — none of my business really. “ 

Bucky lifts his eyes off of the table again and while the sadness is still there, something else lingers for a moment. Curiosity, intrigue maybe, or just relief. 

“ Wow. Didn’t think I’d run into someone reciting my life to me. Huh. “ 

“ My dad used to be a curator at the Smithsonian. He was in charge of the Captain America exhibition. I’ve seen your face a million times, visiting him at work. I gotta say though, you look way more approachable and friendly on the picture they put up. “ 

This time, it’s more than a fleeting moment, this time she’s sure about it, this time he lets out an actual chuckle. 

“ I was a lot younger then, okay? Cut an old man some slack. “ 

“ Oh, you pulling the old man card now? “ 

“ Is it working? “ he asks, eyebrows raised in question. 

“ Not really. “ 

“ Ah, what a shame.” 

Silence settles upon them again like a thick duvet filled with feathers, it’s not uncomfortable but it’s smothering anyway.

“ Do you wanna talk about it? Your sour mood, I mean.” 

Bucky shrugs again “I have a therapist.” 

“ Does she make you draw your feelings? “ 

He smiles again at that question. His smile, (Y/N) thinks, ain’t the worst thing she’s ever seen. She wouldn’t mind seeing it more often.

“ No. Why? “ 

“ Mine did. She stopped pretty quickly though, I guess my drawings were too detailed and gory for her.” 

“ Huh. “ 

“ Mmmh.” 

After another sip of coffee, one he takes without grimacing, without showing any sign of disgust for the burnt brew, Bucky speaks up again.

“ Mine thinks I’m lying to her. “ 

“ Are you ?” 

“ Well yeah, but she doesn’t need to know that.” 

“ Maybe telling her the truth would help you. “ (Y/N) suggests only to be met with a determined head shake No from Bucky. 

The notification sound of a phone pulls them from their conversation and at the sight of the name on the display, Bucky lets an “oh shit” slip from his lips.

“ Don’t you sound excited about getting texts from your friends, “ (Y/N) jokes

“ I had a date last night. That’s her. “ 

“ Since she’s texting you I assume it went well. “ 

Bucky grimaces at her words, slightly shaking his head in disagreement.

“ No? “ 

“ I mean, I had fun and it went well — at first. She’s really sweet. But then we started talking and I may have run. “ 

“ Ran where? “ 

“ Away. “ 

“ Away as in you left. “ 

“ Mm-mmh” 

“ Just like that? “ 

“ Yup. “ 

“ Why? “ 

He throws up his arms in frustration and shakes his head again as if to gather all his thoughts and rattle them neatly back into place. 

“ I don’t know, okay? I haven’t been on a date since the 1940s. Everything I know about women and dating and romance seems antiquated. I’m overwhelmed and confused and I just don’t wanna do anything wrong.” 

“ Dude, you ran from your date without any explanation. How much worse could you have handled it? “ 

“ Yeah well, hindsight is 20/20. “ 

While his words try to sound light and nonchalant, his shoulders tense and his whole demeanor seems to shift back into the gloomy state he’s been in since he entered the diner. Like a big cloud that’s following him around, casting shadows at all times and hardly allowing any light to shine through.

“ Look, I don’t think any of us know what the heck we’re doing half the time. Like, trust me I know what I’m talking about. Online dating means I have to choose between men who think posing with a dead fish will make me want to sleep with them, men who think knowing obscure Star Wars facts can replace having an actual personality, and men who send me pictures of their … privates without me ever giving any indication of wanting to see those. So yeah — dating can really s - be frustrating. “ 

Bucky regards her for a second, the right corner of his lips pulled into a lazy lopsided smirk.

“ Did you just censor yourself because you don’t wanna swear around me ?” 

“ Maybe, but that’s beside the point. The point is, we’re all just human and in the end, we’re all just looking for someone to like us the way we are, all quirks and issues and baggage included. I know women might seem intimidating but really all we want is to be loved and appreciated. And not the over-the-top build-you-a-house, the notebook kind of love. More like the Harry and Sally kind.“ 

(Y/N) can almost see the gears working inside Bucky’s brain, the desperate attempt to make any sense of all the words and phrases she’s just thrown at him. A jumbled mess of pop culture references swirls through his head like a swarm of bees, chaotic and messy. 

“ I have no idea what you just said. “ 

“ When Harry met Sally? “

Bucky just shrugs and shakes his head.

“ You’ve never seen it? “ 

“ I’ve been a bit preoccupied with being blipped away into oblivion for the last 5 years. So I haven’t really had the time to get into movies yet. “ 

This time it’s the gears in her own head that start turning. 

“ What are you doing Friday night ? “ she asks, biting her lip in nervous anticipation.

“ I — I don’t know. “ 

That’s a bit of a lie, really. He does know. It’s the same thing he does pretty much every other day. He gets some takeout, brings it home, sits down in front of the tv, tries to get lost in whatever show they put on, fails at doing so, reads a few pages of a book, lays down to sleep, and then wakes up a little while later to yet another nightmare, tangled up in sweaty sheets, heart racing. 

(Y/N) doesn’t need to know any of that though. He doesn’t tell his therapist so why would he tell a random stranger.

“ Well, don’t make any plans. We’re gonna kill 2 birds with 1 stone. “ 

“ We are? “ 

“ Yeah. Trust me on this one. “ 

“ I don’t even know you. “ 

“ Sure you do. “ (Y/N) says and taps the tag pinned to her baby blue polo shirt with the diner’s logo on the back.  “ I’m the one who serves you just enough coffee to keep you happy but not have you die a painful and honestly mildly embarrassing death. “ 

Every part of him screams at him to say no. To stay away from her the way he does from most other people, even Sam. To get up and get out and not cause any more damage than he already has in other people’s life. But then he remembers his therapist's words, he remembers Leah’s face full of confusion and disappointment, he remembers the empty feeling in his chest. That feeling of pure and utter loneliness. 

“ Alright, Friday works for me, (Y/N). “ 

“ Perfect, Bucky. “ 

“ Bring a jacket. “ 

The address and “Bring a jacket” that’s all she’s texted him. No explanation, no plan, nothing. 

Bucks leans against the streetlamp, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his leather jacket. Anxiety is washing through his system like tidal waves on a stormy ocean. This whole being spontaneous thing was much easier back in the 40s. When his shoulders weren’t so heavy with guilt. When he didn’t have to constantly face the consequences of his actions. Consequences of a past he can never quite outrun no matter how far he goes and how hard he tries. 

Maybe this is good, he has to remind himself. Getting out of his comfort zone, if that even exists for him. Opening himself up to new opportunities. Maybe even make a friend. (Y/N) seem nice enough, if a bit peculiar. 

His shrink would be proud of him. Getting out there, talking to people, being approachable. This must for sure earn him some kind of gold star equivalent in her notebook. 

“ Hey there, Mr. Grumpyface. “ 

(Y/N)'s voice cuts through the chilly New York night like headlights through thick fog. She strolls towards him, lips pulled into a big bright smile. Leading up to tonight he’s spent quite a lot of time wondering if this is some kind of project for her, if maybe she sees him as a sort of charity case. Something to earn her karma points. It wouldn’t be the first time. But the genuine joy radiating from her face lets those worries melt away instantly. 

Maybe, Bucky thinks, she really just thinks he’ll make a good friend. And maybe he can. 

“ Hi, (Y/N). “

“ You brought a jacket” she points out, pinching the black leather between her fingers. Her nails are painted in various shades of red, each finger a different hue. 

“ I did. You told me to. “

“ And you listened! “ 

“ Why wouldn’t I ? “ Bucky inquires, a look of confusion settling on his face.

“ You wouldn’t believe how many men think wearing a jacket when it’s cold out somehow clashes with their need to demonstrate their masculinity. “ 

“ Wow. “ he exclaims.

“ Yeah. So anyway, you ready to go up? “ 

She nods her head towards the house across the street. It’s a slim multiple-story brick building with rusty fire escapes. It looks like a residential lot, not much else that could give away (Y/N)’s plan for the rest of the night.

“ Up? “ 

“ Mm-mh. “ (Y/N) nods and motions towards the top of the building. “ to the roof. “ 

“ The roof? You’re not planning to push me off or anything, right? I don’t usually spend time with strangers on rooftops. “ he tells her, a smirk lifting the sides of his lips.

She grants him a smile in return. One of those that you try so hard to suppress but despite your best efforts they find their way onto your face anyway. Because some smiles demand to be smiled. And her smile is pretty cute, he thinks, it deserves to be seen. 

“ Foiled again, damn Bucky. I’m a waitress with a useless degree in literature and creative writing but assassinating you was exactly what I had planned for tonight. Couldn’t let me have that one, huh? “ 

“ Sorry to spoil all the fun. “ 

She softly bumps her shoulder against his right side as she passes him and crosses the street. Her red skirt flutters around her knees like a ribbon of fire, bright and warm and —

“ You coming, grumpy ?” 

“ Yeah uh — yeah sure. “ 

The walk upstairs is filled with chatter from her and nodding from Bucky. It’s been like this most of the time since — well since he’s really back. Other people usually do the talking and Bucky listens. It works most of the time. Works with Yori. Sometimes though, sometimes it doesn’t. He can see people getting frustrated with him. Hell his own therapist does and she knows the baggage he has to carry around. 

This is different though, (Y/N) doesn’t seem to mind much. She’s a waterfall of words and topics and doesn’t seem to get bored or annoyed with him. It’s nice. 

A heavy iron door swings open as they reach the top of the building and as soon as they step out onto the rooftop balcony they get engulfed in an ocean of lights. They’re strung from one end of the roof to the other and back again. Next to the door, a little makeshift bar is set up, and a guy in a Star Wars shirt hands out beers to people. 

Multicolored deck chairs and beanbags are haphazardly placed across the entire roof, all pointing towards the corner furthest away from the door where a big white sheet hangs spanned between two poles. 

“ Sooo you gonna tell me what we’re doing here? “ Bucky asks again as (Y/N) steers him towards a cluster of chairs in the back. 

“ Some peeps I went to university with, set up movie screenings here every once in a while. I could pull some strings and got to choose the movie. “ 

“ We’re gonna watch a movie? “ 

“ Not just any movie, “ she exclaims and drops down onto one of the plastic deck chairs that looks like it used to be bright pink once but is now but a bleached blush colour from being exposed to the sun too much. “ We’re watching when Harry met Sally. “ 

Bucky slumps down on the chair next to her, a blue one with white daisy patterns. 

“ Me not knowing this movie really does bother you, huh? “ 

“ It’s a classic, might as well start with this one. And anyway, maybe this can help you get back into the dating game. Ya know, help you understand modern romance. “

“ You think so? “ 

She shrugs and starts fumbling around in her bag, “ I dunno. It might. And if it doesn’t at least you’ll spend your time watching a good movie and get to experience the blessing of my company. Ah-ha! There you go “ 

Her hand reaches out holding a bag of M&Ms.

“ I brought snacks. “ 

More and more people start occupying the chairs and bean bags and a few minutes later a guy steps up in front of the sheet. He’s wearing a shirt with a black and white bird pattern, huge glasses with a brown frame, and jeans that don’t cover his ankles. He’s tall and lanky and his hair is so messy, Bucky wonders if it’s intentional or if he just hasn’t brushed it in a while. 

“ Hi guys, I’m Andrew. For those of you who don’t know me, I live in apartment 2B and I just wanna say thank you for showing up and welcome you to our movie night under the stars. A few days ago we received a special request from one of our good friends and because she let me stay on her couch for several months back during our college days and I still owe her for that I couldn’t reject her request. So thanks to Miss (Y/N) over there in the pink chair you now get to spend the next 90 minutes watching Meg Ryan fall in love with Mike Wazowski. Enjoy. “ 

As he steps away from the sheet, the lights are turned off and the MGM logo pops up on the screen. 

“ Trust me, Bucky. This one’s so good.” (Y/N) assures before throwing some M&Ms into her mouth, now entirely focused on the movie.

It takes a while for Bucky to relax. Being around so many people and not having any fear of what’s lurking around the corner is still very new. Letting go is never as easy as it sounds. Eventually though, his nerves settle down a little and as the movie progresses, he finds himself relaxing more and more. Something he hasn’t done in a long time. Not since Wakanda.

Exactly 46 minutes into the movie, (Y/N) lets her eyes wander to her left where Bucky, until now, sat slumped into his seat. Still perpetually grumpy but more chilled out and relaxed than she’s seen him before. Until now. A moaning Meg Ryan visible making him uncomfortable.

“ You okay, grumpy? “ 

He doesn’t grant her a real answer, just scoffs and rolls his eyes. There’s a smile though, she’s sure. Somewhere hidden there is another smile. 

“ So, what did we learn today? “ 

Bucky looks at (Y/N) who has her arms wrapped tightly around her middle shielding herself from the chilly night air. The movie night has ended a while ago and the two of them are slowly strolling along the New York City streets on the way back to (Y/N)’s apartment. 

“ To take your own advice and dress warmer for a movie night? “ 

(Y/N) chuckles. “ No, grumpy. I meant the movie. “ 

He shrugs at her question. Quite honestly he hasn’t learned anything new. Nothing about the movie seemed in any way revolutionary to him nor does he see any benefit for himself and his dating life going forward. But the way she looks at him right now, expecting something grand not from him really but some beautiful consequences to her ideas, that makes him reconsider. Sure he could tell her that it was just a silly little movie about people falling in love but that would no doubt hurt her, even a tiny little bit. And if there’s anything Bucky has enough of, it’s hurting others. 

“ I guess that men and women really can not be friends. “ 

“ Noooo! No. Is that really what you took from this movie? “ 

“ That’s literally what happened. “ 

“ Okay first of all it works, look at us! We’re friends! Second of all, that’s not what the movie is really about. It’s about love and vulnerability. It’s about overcoming all the tiny things that can work against you and your relationship. Like distance and timing and egotism. It’s about hiding who you are because really opening up to someone, being your authentic true self with all your faults and imperfections, that makes you vulnerable. And being vulnerable is fucking scary. But love is worth it anyway. That’s what the movie is about. “

As Bucky noticed before, some smiles demand to be smiled. They need to be smiled because they’re important and they mean something. The one gracing his face now, that’s one of those. One of those you remember because you feel them all the way in your heart.

“ You think we’re friends? “ 

“ Oh, are we — are we not? “ 

“ No. I — no, we are! I’d like to be friends. “ 

(Y/N) abruptly stops in her tracks, turns towards him, and holds out her hand. “ To friendship.” 

“ We’re shaking hands on it? What is this, a business deal? “ 

“ You know what, yeah now that you mention it that’s pretty lame. “ (Y/N) agrees, balling her hand into a fist “ how about a fist bump, bro? “ 

Bucky reluctantly knocks his right hand against hers before continuing his walk down the street. “You call me bro again I’m canceling the friendship. “ 

“ Alright. Noted. “ 

“ So have you talked to the girl again? “ 

“ Hmm? “ 

“ The one you went on a date with? “ 

“ Oh, Leah. Uh — no.” 

“ Why not? “ 

Bucky throws her a look. One that says “are you kidding me?”. One that says “ you know why.” 

“ Cause I ran out. That’s embarrassing. She’s gonna think I’m insane. She’s never gonna wanna see me again. “ 

“ I sincerely doubt that. You just gotta say sorry. I know in Love Story — that’s a novel and also a movie from the 70s — they say that ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry but that’s a load of bull. Just say sorry and ask her for a do-over. “ 

“ And then what? We play a rematch of battleships and talk about my trauma? “ 

“ Well, what did you do on dates in the 40s? “ 

That time, his youth, that seems like a different life altogether now. So much happened between then and now and the man he is now, has no relation to the boy he was then. Sometimes looking back hurts, makes it painfully obvious what he’s lost. But sometimes, like tonight, he can feel a hint of fondness coursing through him at the thought of times long gone.

“ Dancing, mostly.” 

“ Like, ballroom dancing? “ 

“ Swing. “ 

“ You swing dance? “ 

“ I did. “ 

(Y/N) regards him through squinted eyes “ really? “ 

“ You don’t believe me? “

“ I don’t know. You don’t strike me as a dancer. “ 

Not a second later, Bucky’s gloved hand grabs onto her’s and twirls her towards him then away from him and back in. 

“ You twirled me! “ 

“ Mm-mh.”

“ I’ve never been twirled. That’s so fun. “ 

It’s like autopilot taking over as Bucky holds onto her, twirling her again then pulling her in and swaying them in a circle. It’s not swing dancing, not even close but there’s no music either, and anyway, his dancing days are over. But sometimes you gotta make a point and if that means slow dancing in the middle of an empty street then that’s that. 

The night wraps them in a blanket of comfort and intimacy as the stars and the New York skyline try to outshine each other. It’s a moment so peaceful, Bucky can’t remember the last time his heart felt so light, his mind felt so at ease, his entire being got to let go and just be alive and in the moment.

And then the shine of headlights rips them from their moment and makes them jump back onto the sidewalk. 

“ Get off the road you fucking morons! “ 

“ Gotta love the big city folk. “ 

“ Yup. “ 

“ Hey, Bucky.” 

“ What? “ 

“ You really can dance.” 

“ Told you. “ 

“ Can I tell you a secret? “ 

“ Sure. “ 

“ I can’t dance for shit. “ 

“ That so? “

“ Yup. Which means you gotta teach me. “ 

“ Absolutely not.” 

“ Oh, 100%! “ 

“ We’ll see about that.” 

There are nights you try to forget. Nights that you wish to never ever remember. Ones that break you. That beat you down and leave you bruised and battered.

Then there are nights like this one that you want to hold onto for just a little bit longer. Those that fill you with joy and an immeasurable thirst for life. The ones that make you feel grateful to be alive right here and now. 

The inevitable end of the night creeps closer as they arrive at (Y/N)’s front door. Neither of them really want to say goodnight but both know there’s no use in delaying it.

“ I hope you didn’t hate the movie too much, “ (Y/N) speaks up, leaning against the front door of her apartment complex.

“ No. It was fun! Although I still don’t know who Mike Wazulsky is. “ 

“ Mike Wazowski, he’s — you know what? That’s a conversation for another time. “ 

“ Alright, if you say so. “ 

“ Thanks for walking me home. “ 

“ Oh, yeah no need to thank me. It’s the right thing to do. “ 

For a moment they just stand and smile, trying to cherish the last few moments of this night. 

“ We should do this more often. “ Bucky suggests, surprising even himself.

“ For sure. I still have so many movies to show you. “ 

“ Can’t wait. “ 

A slight sense of awkwardness falls over them as neither of them knows what to do. Go for a hug? Shakes hands? Wave goodbye? 

“ I uh — I should go. “ 

“ Yeah, of course. Have a good night, Bucky.” 

“ You too, (Y/N).” 

“ Oh and Bucky? “ 

“ Yes? “ 

“ Give Leah a call. “ 

Bucky nods his head before turning around and walking back into the night.

As he takes the way back to his own home, there are only two things on Bucky’s mind: the vulnerability of falling in love and the question of who the hell Mike Wazowski was. 

[sleeping-lilies]

robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part IV. (Harry Styles)

hello loves!! thank you so much for the feedbacks on the previous part, i love to see your thoughts at reactions so please keep them coming for the upcoming parts as well! i was informed that the posts weren’t showing up under the hashtags bc i had an extrernal link to the spotify playlist, so that won’t be available in the next parts, but you’ll always be able to find it in the masterpost if you’d like to give it a listen! those were the songs i listened to while writing the story! now, i dont want to keep you up any longer, here is part 4, one of my personal favs, and im excitedly waiting for your feedbacks on the post! have a wonderful reading!

word count: 4.5k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Valerie is curiously watching her dad work on the portable bed they’ve brought over for the night, her little hands clutching onto Rosa’s shirt as she is telling you all about the list she has made for you. It’s not a long one, but you try to focus on every word she says, making sure you won’t mess anything up.

“I put an X behind the important ones,” she explains pointing at the paper and you nod, eyes roaming down on the few X’s on the list. “The other ones are just suggestions, things I thought you should know.

“Got it,” you nod again, biting into your bottom lip. Bath time, feeding, sleep time, everything is covered in the list and you’re happy she even mentioned the smallest details. Some things might be natural for her as she’s been doing it for months, but it’s your first time completely alone with a baby. You surely don’t want to mess this up, especially because you want her to trust you and let you look after Valerie more often. They deserve a break now and then.

Steven finishes the bed and backs out a few stuffed animals along with two blankets into it, making it look cozy and familiar for Val.

“But most importantly,” Rosa starts and you look her in the eyes. “Call us anytime if you need help or want us to take her home, and I mean it.”

“Not gonna happen,” you shake your head, earning a sigh from your sister.

“Y/N, I’m serious. We are thankful for the help, but it’s not your duty, alright? Just call us anytime, really.”

Nodding your head you flash a smile at her, knowing well nothing on Earth is gonna make you call them tonight. Okay, maybe there are some cases when you would call, but those are quite unlikely to happen.

She hands Valerie over who curiously eyes you before grabbing a handful of your shirt and making herself busy with the fabric.

“It’s gonna be fine. Have a great night, you deserve it,” you smile at them. Steven straightens up and curls an arm around Rosa’s waist as they watch Val in awe, clearly a little worried they are gonna spend an entire night without her, but you can tell they also can’t wait for some alone time.

“Alright, we should get going,” Rosa sighs and stepping closer she kisses Valerie’s head and then your cheek as well. “Have fun with your aunty! We’ll be back for you in the morning, Sweetie.”

She runs her hand over her little head and Valerie smiles at her happily, completely oblivious to what’s really happening. The joys of being just a baby!

Steven says goodbye to her as well and you all head to the door. 

“So, we’ll be here around eight, she is usually up by six. Do you want us to pick her up sooner?” Rosa asks standing at the front door.

“Sooner? I was about to tell you to sleep a little longer, you don’t have to come so early.”

“But we don’t want to take away your whole day, you need to rest too,” Steven explains, worry all over his face.

“Stop worrying about me, I’ll be fine. Just enjoy your night off! Come on, I’m throwing you guys out, time for the sleepover to start,” you tell them, shushing them out the door. 

It takes some time to finally get them to leave, but they eventually do. Then it’s just the two of you, alone for the first time.

“Ready for your first sleepover, Val?” you ask her, standing in the hallway of your apartment. She just stares back at you, saliva drooling from her mouth but even that looks cute on her. “Alright, let’s do this.”

You braced yourself for the worst. Thought about all the possibilities how the evening would go, but you hoped they wouldn't become reality. Unfortunately, baby Valerie had different plans for the two of you.

The first hour goes by fine. You feed her, have a little play time, reading her favorite book to her, but slowly, you notice her losing interest in anything and everything. Soon enough, you see her face distort into a grimace and a few moments later she starts crying and it’s straight downhill from there. 

Nothing can get her to stop. No food, no toy, absolutely nothing. You clown around, trying everything that pops into your mind that would calm her down, but it doesn’t seem like she is about to stop anytime soon. 

You start to panic. Rosa told you how fussy she is because of her teeth coming, but you didn’t think it would be this bad. When she’s been crying for an entire hour straight, for a split second, you think about calling Rosa. 

“No, not gonna do that,” you say, while Val is still screaming in your arms. “Valerie, what do you want? Tell me and I’ll give it to you, I promise! Just please stop crying!” you whine desperately, but, no surprise, no answer comes from the screaming babe in your arms, just more tears, puffy eyes and red cheeks from all the crying she’s been doing.

Trying to rock her into calmness you are moving around in the apartment when you hear your phone ringing. You instantly think it’s gonna be Rosa, wanting to check in on you, but how are you gonna answer the call when Valeries is screaming from the top of her lungs? She’ll come to pick her up straight away, no doubt about that.

Rushing into the kitchen you are relieved to see that it’s just Harry calling you.

“It’s not the best of times, Styles,” you sigh as you answer the call and put him on the speaker, leaving the phone on the countertop, so you have both your hands free for Valerie.

“Hey, I was just-- what the fuck is happening?” he asks hearing the deadly cries of Val through the line. “Is that Valerie?”

“It is! I’m looking after her so Rosa and Steven can celebrate their anniversary, but she just wouldn’t stop crying! I don’t know what to do!” 

You’re absolutely desperate. It’s so bad you can feel your throat closing up, nearing the edge of your patience, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, but you tell yourself only one of you can cry at a time and Val has taken that spot quite some time ago, not even giving you a moment to let loose.

“Text me your address, I’m leaving now,” he orders and you snap your head towards the phone.

“What? No, Harry--”

“Just text me the damn address, Y/N!” he barks and the line cuts off right away. 

Your desperation pairs with shock now, not knowing what to think about this short, but quite eventful conversation you just had with him. It takes you a few moments to collect your thoughts, but you end up sending him your address. 

Nothing changes in the twenty minutes while you are waiting to hear anything from Harry following your text to him. Valerie keeps crying with three seconds of pauses when she takes a few deep breaths only to start screaming once again. Aside from the headache she is causing you, it’s becoming pretty impressive how long she’s been doing it. You probably would have fainted by now, but it seems like Valerie is running on an endless battery.

“You are really making it hard for me to be a cool aunt, Val,” you mumble, the baby still in your arms as the tears keep rolling down her face. Your light grey shirt is now soaking wet, both from her tears and your sweat from the anxiety she is giving you, mixed with some other things you choose to ignore where they came from.

The doorbell makes you jump, but Valerie doesn’t even bat an eye at the sound, she just keeps going.

“You need to teach me how to have this much energy,” you mumble under your breath as you walk over to the door. 

Opening it you find yourself staring up at Harry who is wearing a brown coat, dark jeans and a black hoodie. If you had to guess what he was doing on this weekend evening you would have said he was out with friends somewhere, picking up girls, but he surely doesn’t look like he was anywhere else than his home, the clothes are hanging messily on his frame, like he just threw them on in a rush.

His green eyes look straight at you at first before moving over to the crying child in your arms. You fully expect him to say something along the lines of “this is the kind of effect you have on others” comment, but it seems like he notices the fear and despair in your eyes and he keeps his mouth shut.

“I honestly have no idea what to do,” you choke out and the tears start flowing from your eyes as well, making Harry have to deal with now two crying human beings.

“Oh my, please don’t cry, I can’t take two crying women at once,” Harry begs as he steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Turning to face you he reaches for Valerie, you hand her over to him, hoping she would magically stop the crying, but she clearly couldn’t care less.

“Why, can you take one?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you wipe your cheeks.

“Not really,” he admits, making you smile. “So what have you tried?” he asks as he starts swaying and rocking Valerie in hopes of getting her to stop, but not even Harry’s charm stands a chance with her right now. Deep down you’re happy you weren’t the reason she got so fussy and upset, would have been pretty awkward if she stopped the moment Harry took her into his arms. 

“Literally everything,” you huff, shoulders falling forward. “I went over the list Rosa gave me, tried everything, but she wouldn’t stop. She’s teething, but this is… It seems like there might be something else maybe?” you tell him worried that something serious might be behind her behavior. You really don’t want to call and bother Rosa, but you are nearing the point where you’ll give up and ask for help.

“Maybe she needs to be changed?” Harry suggests holding her up, giving her butt a sniff, but you roll your eyes at him.

“You don’t think that was one of the first things I did? She is as clean as she could be. Maybe I should just call Rosa,” you sigh in defeat reaching for your phone but Harry snaps at you.

“No! Don’t, we can figure this out. Steven has been so excited to have a night off, we can’t ruin this for them. Come on, we have to have the slightest parenting skills and solve this without them.”

Nodding you agree with him, but you’ve completely run out of ideas.

“So what do you suggest?”

You can see the gears turning in Harry’s head as he is trying to come up with a plan, but it’s not like either of you have any experience with babies. The idea of calling Rosa is starting to burn in the back of your head, fear of failing this challenge taking over your thoughts.

Then Harry looks at you with a look that screams that he has an idea. You’re just about to ask what came into his mind when all of a sudden he starts to sing.

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water, and I think of all the things what you’re doing and in my head I paint a picture…”

You instantly recognize Amy Whinehouse’s iconic song, the one that’s also behind Valerie’s name, you know that for sure. Rosa was obsessed with the song growing up, she would sing it on the way to school, in the shower or while making dinner. You weren’t surprised she chose this name for her first daughter.

What surprises you that Harry sings like a literal angel. He hits the notes perfectly, nailing the lines like not many can and you listen to him with parted lips, eyebrows raised. This was the last thing you expected from him, but then again, it’s not the first time Harry has surprised you through the years of knowing him.

Valerie stops for a moment, her hiccups shaking through her body as her tear-filled eyes look up to Harry, and you both think this is gonna be the moment when she finally calms down, but he doesn’t even reach the chorus before she starts crying again, a defeated sigh erupting from him.

“Maybe she wants it instrumental,” you suggest and Harry gives you one of those ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ looks as you leave to run down the hallway, right into your bedroom.

“How am I supposed to make it instru-- what the hell, Y/N?!” He gives you a weirded out look when you return with a guitar in your hands. “Since when do you play the guitar?” 

“Since like… eighth grade,” you tell him as you sit on the couch and holding the guitar on your lap you try to find the right accords. “I told you, you know nothing about me.”

Harry nods with a surprised but amazed look on his face as your fingers strum against the chords. It takes a few minutes but you figure it out and glancing up you give a questioning look to Harry.

“From the start?” you ask and he nods his head, continuously bouncing up and down to try to calm Val down.

You start playing the song and soon enough Harry joins you with the singing, the two of you perfectly nailing it even without any practice.

“Stop makin’ a fool out of me, why don’t you come on over, Valerie?”

Maybe it’s the guitar, maybe it’s the singing or maybe the fact that the song has her name in it, but by the time you reach the halfway point in the song Valerie’s crying slowly starts to fade. You instantly share a look with Harry, but don’t stop, fearing that she might start again if the music stops. 

Her tear soaked cheeks smooth out as she is not screaming anymore and you can actually see her irises finally, her long lashes are sticking together from the salty tears and you know it’s gonna take some time for her to regain her normal state, but at least the crying has stopped. 

“‘Cause since I’ve come on home, well, my body’s been a mess. And I’ve missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress…”

You tear your eyes off Valerie for a second, letting yourself wander over Harry’s features as he sings. He slightly furrows his eyebrows focusing on the lines, so his forehead has a few creases on it. His lips form the words so clearly and elegantly, you wonder how often he sings. Is it something he only does when he is on his own or he likes to perform as well? 

The only time when you heard him sing was at the bar when the two of you slayed the karaoke machine with that Avril Lavigne song. You were smashed by then, you remember that he had a nice voice but it was the last thing you paid attention to. Besides, he was kind of equally drunk as you, it was all for just fun, but now is a completely different situation. 

It’s no surprise Valerie finds his voice soothing, you’d probably stop whatever you were doing if you heard him sing. There are people with a good voice and then there are the ones that not just have a good voice but also that small something, that extra magic in them that makes you melt as their voice caress your ears. Harry is definitely the second case, for a moment you forget where you are or why he is there singing. It’s just his voice and the gentle strumming of your fingers on the chords. 

At the end of the song he starts repeating Valerie as the song slowly fades into nothing and you both stare at the little girl in his arms, clearly afraid she might start crying again. Unfortunately, your reservations become valid when you see the corners of her mouth curls down and you and Harry share a shocked look immediately.

“What else can you play?” he urges as Val whimpers in his arms, letting you know she does not appreciate that the singing has stopped. 

“Shit, shit! Um, something from ABBA?” you propose and Harry nods quickly, not even asking which song you know, so you take it as a sign that he probably knows all of them.

The first song that comes to your mind is Andante, Andante and you don’t hesitate to start playing again, just in time. Valerie was just about to start crying again, but as soon as the melody hit her little ears she calmed down and listened to it with tired looking eyes.

“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze…” Harry sings the words and you can’t hold a smile back as he, once again, hits the notes just perfectly without missing a beat.

You’re convinced there’s not one person on Earth who has never heard a single Abba song, most of the population knows them by heart, but somehow you couldn’t really imagine Harry to be a person who knows the lyrics to the songs as well. But he does and sings it without messing it up even just once. It’s hard to imagine a younger version of Harry singing ABBA songs when they come on the radio, but the more you think about it the more the picture paints itself in your mind.

Valerie lays her head to Harry’s chest, stuffing her thumb into her mouth as she listens to the performance. She is probably enjoying the vibrance of his voice shaking through his chest and maybe this is what brings her the peace she’s been looking for all this time. Your heart skips a beat at the sight of them.

Harry glances at you, eyes so soft you melt under his gaze. However nerve wrecking it was to have Valerie scream for hours, she is still the cutest little thing ever as she rests her head on his chest, her long blinks giving it away she has definitely lost most of her energy. 

You don’t dare to stop the singing and playing. When you near the end of a song you quickly think of something else and whisper it over to Harry, who then gives his feedback on it with either a nod or a shake of his head. Most of the time he knows the songs you suggest so the show continues without a stop. 

Half an hour passes by when you see her eyes slowly closing. You still don’t stop though, only when Harry tries to listen to her breathing and he realizes that it was completely slowed down. She is out.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out quietly, your fingers feeling numb from the playing. You haven’t had a guitar in your hands for this long in a while, probably for years. Harry shares your relief, his throat has completely dried out and he is happy to finally breathe evenly, not just sneak a few breaths in between lines. 

“And now what?” he mouths as he is still gently swaying around with the sleeping Valerie in his arms. You put the guitar aside and check if she is for real asleep. Her long lashes are spread out on her puffy cheeks, gently snoozing into Harry’s chest as if she weren’t screaming for dear life just an hour ago. 

“Let’s put her down,” you whisper and nod at him to follow you. 

Reaching your bedroom you only switch your bedside lamp on so the light doesn’t wake her up. Pushing the stuffed animals to the side you grab the blankets and let Harry do the critical job. Leaning down he oh so slowly starts to pull her away from his chest, careful not to move too suddenly, it all feels like in those action movies when they are trying to get through the lasers without triggering the alarm. One bad move and the screaming threatens to start again and that’s the last thing you want, after all you’ve done to calm her down. 

You don’t even realize it but as you watch her little head reach the mattress you hold your breath, almost wincing upon seeing Harry’s hands slide out from under her sleeping frame. As if you wait for something to go wrong, both of you freeze for a moment, expecting her to start moving around and wake up, but she stays still. 

Eyes snapping up to Harry, you exchange a look and then you both head to the door, careful not to make any noise that can possibly shake Valerie up from her dreams.

“This was more tiring than running a marathon,” he huffs, throwing himself to the couch and you do the same next to him. 

“Have you ever run a marathon?”

“No,” he confidently answers and you look over at him with a puzzled look. “But I can imagine how tiring it is.”

You let out a chuckle, letting your eyes close for just a little bit. You haven’t even had the chance to realize how much this whole struggle with Val sucked the energy out of you, but now that you’re half lying on the couch it hits you all at once.

“I should get going,” you hear Harry mumble, clearly just as tired as you are, but he doesn’t move. 

“Mhm,” you hum, feeling yourself drift to sleep.

Neither of you moves and it doesn’t take a whole five minutes for the both of you to completely doze off.

The next time you wake up you feel an arm curled around your waist and someone is definitely pressed up against you while your back is against the back of the couch. It takes you a couple of moments and some blinking to realize it’s Harry you are all snuggled up to and the reason why you woke up is because Valerie is crying again. 

“Shit,” you mumble to yourself, mind still groggy from the sleep as you push yourself up on the couch. Just moments later Harry’s eyes flush open and you’re not sure it’s because of the crying or because you moved next to him. His arm slides off you as he looks around a little confused about his surroundings.

You don’t have the chance to think about how the two of you ended up cuddling on the couch, though it lingers in the back of your mind. Basically crawling over Harry you rush into your bedroom where Valerie is lying in her bed crying. It’s a different kind of cry, not like the one you were stuck with for hours before and you know she must be hungry.

“Ah, come on, little girl. It’s alright,” you coo at her scooping her into your arms. She immediately cuddles to your chest hiccupping against it, her little hands fisting your shirt. You leave to go to the kitchen and feed her, but just as you’re about to step out of the room you bump into Harry.

You bounce back from his chest, but his hand immediately reaches for you and grabs your arm, holding you in case you might fall back.

“Sorry,” you breathe out, thoughts still foggy a little. “She’s… hungry,” you explain, but he is standing so close to you, you can feel his body’s warmth and it instantly ignites the memory of being pressed against his side on the couch just moments ago and you can’t stop yourself from inhaling a shaky breath. 

“Let me help,” he croaks out and the two of you walk into the kitchen. Putting on her bib you hand her over to Harry who sits with her on his lap on a stoop as you get the baby food, warm it a little before joining the two of them and you slowly start feeding her.

“What time is it?” you ask realizing you have no idea how long you two have been asleep on the couch.

“It’s three am,” Harry answers before smiling down at Val. “Good job, Val!” he hums watching her take the spoon into her mouth.

You finish up feeding her, then give a try at burping her even though Rosa said it’s not necessary anymore. She just hums to herself so you head back to the bedroom, her eyes already threatening to close. By the time you put her back to the bed she is out again, so no private show is needed this time.

Walking out of the room you see Harry putting on his shoes and coat. For a split second you feel disappointed that he is leaving, but then your rational side puts you to your place. Of course he is leaving! Val is fine now, there’s no other reason for him to stay, right?

“Harry,” you softly say and he looks at you. “Can you please not tell Rosa and Steven that I needed help with Val?” you quietly ask, though there’s no doubt your eyes are practically begging him.

“No way I’ll ever admit to Steven that I sang ABBA to his child, so don’t worry about it,” he chuckles making you smile as well. 

“Thank you. And for helping me as well. I was really close to giving it up,” you admit folding your arms on your chest as Harry stands at the front door, hand on the door knob as he is looking back at you.

“No problem. Now you owe me one,” he smirks and you can’t hold yourself back from rolling your eyes.

“Sure,” you say with an airy chuckle. “Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he smiles at you sweetly before opening the door and walking out. 

You take his place at the door and watch him walk down the eerily quiet hallway. He turns back to you one last time waving in your way and you nod back smiling before he disappears around the corner.

Closing the door you lean your back against it, taking a deep breath. Your eyes wander over to the couch where you and Harry were sleeping not so long ago. The feeling of his arm around you is still burned into your mind and you breathe in shakily as a memory snaps into your head of the exact same thing, only years earlier.

You lied almost exactly like that in his hotel room that night. His strong arms wrapped around you as you had your head laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was slightly faster than the normal. Though you were still quite drunk, this feeling imprinted into your memories, because you felt so safe with him. Like nothing could ever hurt you if he was there with you.

Unfortunately, that feeling faded into nothing when you woke up in the morning quite fast. But this time, instead of disappointment and disgust, the only thing you still feel is the emptiness at the lack of his touch. 

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