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#james is such a bitch
sharlinefreire · 2 months
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canon mlm rep be like "i like a boy..but im!?!? also a boy!? >-<??" meanwhile queerbaiting "if you die i'm alone".
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fiasco95 · 3 months
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Barty, barging into the Gryffindor common room: What’s up losers!
Sirius: Wh—
Barty: I actually don’t care, don’t answer that!
Remus: That—
Barty: Anywhoo! Am just here to collect my bitches!
James: Hey—!
Barty, looking at Pandora & Dorcas: Respectfully.
Barty, turning to Regulus: Disrespectfully.
Marauders & Friends:
Barty: Alright, great talk! Let’s go bitches!
Pandora, Regulus & Dorcas kissing their respective partners and following Barty out of the common room.
Marlene: …What the fuck just happened?
Lily: No fucking clue.
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boltlightning · 1 year
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james norrington + being a royal bitch (inspiration)
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aithusarosekiller · 2 months
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Starchaser where James is the snobby popular guy who could date anyone he wanted bc everyone trails after him all the time
People are expecting him to go for someone like Emmeline (most popular girl in the school) or Lily (an actual genius obviously) or maybe just mess around with as many people as possible just because he can and there would be nearly no repercussions
So when Sirius finds out that he is dating Regulus- who'd always had trouble with social cues, especially when so many people expected him to be a perfect pureblodo son, and was always a bit mean and proud when he was talking to people because he was never taught otherwise, and didn't really stick out at school because he was a bit more of a recluse than many other Slytherin purebloods and was 'very good' at school but not a Barty, Severus, or Lily level genius- he can't help but be so happy
Because despite James having so many people he could date, he fell for the one person everybody else would be disappointed about when they heard. And Sirius KNOWS it was NEVER a matter of James pulling out the name of an adoring fan from a hat. He knew he'd have had to connect to Regulus, see past the bitter cruelty of his mask, break down his walls, and earn his trust unwaveringly before he was able to ask him out
He knew that his best friend had settled for who he wanted instead of who everybody else wanted him to want, and he knew that his brother got to know what true care and understanding felt like from somebody who had so much to give
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melandrops · 1 year
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the key to enjoying the magnus archives is understanding that every single person is a bitch. name a character and i can tell you right now they have the most petty bitchy tendencies. you have to understand that all of these characters are absolutely insufferable bitches and there's nothing any of us can do except say slay king live your truth. they served cunt and if innocents died along the way that's none of my business thank you
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╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all the fanfics i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3
ᡣ𐭩 how you can help palestine . fic recs m.list
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@gutsby
⭒ Wedded Bliss
The marriage was arranged, and the sex is deranged. Bucky is so obsessed with your pussy that he almost forgets he’s meant to be faking this whole thing—and hating it, like sworn enemies are supposed to do.
@samthemarvelfan
⭒ Bad Romance
In Brooklyn, everyone knows the unwritten rule: you don’t cross James Barnes. When you return after nearly half a decade, things are anything but the same. After the murder of your Uncle, you begin to learn that no one is who they say they are, and that you may have accidentally given your heart to a mobster; The White Wolf of Brooklyn. More dangerous than that, he’s given you his.
@anonymityisfunwriter
⭒ Two Sides of the Same Coin
⭒ You're Losing Me
Your fairytale ending is crumbling before your eyes. You don't know how to love someone who can't tell you're dying. You fear you're fading away, begging him to do someone, say something, choose something. You fear he won't be able to resuscitate you this time. This time, he's losing you.
⭒ Alone Together
It was always been you and Bucky, alone together, you'd say. But suddenly, you're just alone.
⭒ Uptown Girl and the Brooklyn Boy
Everyone knows that all any Uptown Girl needs is a Greaser from Brooklyn to make her forget all about her uptown world.
@pellucid-constellations
⭒ For the Love of the Game
Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it. 
@barnesafterglow
⭒ Friday (I'm In Love)
every day you love bucky. every friday he pretends to love you too
@sinner-as-saint
⭒ Tempestuous
With his kingdom flourishing in peace, and no threats from enemies; recently crowned King - James Buchanan Barnes sets out at sea. With his finest ship, the best crew ever recruited, and a deep desire to see whether the edge of the world truly exists; the King sets sail. Hoping to find the marvels of the ocean, to find beauty and magic even; however he ends up finding a fiery soul – one he cannot get enough of. But then again, no love story is ever perfect, is it? 
⭒ Ruin
You work at a café owned by your family, close to your uni. And most of your days are pretty laid back and calm, but that is until you catch the eye of the mob boss. Your cute skirts and soft sweaters make him weak. Your innocence captivates him. And he wants you, badly. He wants you in his bed, wants his hand under those cute little skirts… he wants to ruin you. 
⭒ A Sweeter Place
Years after a messy break-up, and now seeking stability, infamous mob boss James Buchanan Barnes finds himself reunited with an old flame of his. Instant guilt and regret wash over him when he finds out that his reckless ways back then, changed an innocent girl’s life forever. 
⭒ You're No Saint
Steve and Bucky have been friends since they were young boys. They are inseparable, so naturally when you married Steve you were aware that Bucky came along with him. Every event, every vacation, even as the best man at your wedding - Bucky was always there, alongside you and Steve. He was one of your best friends as well, so you’ve never thought of him in a sexual way, ever. That is until one certain night, when you see something you’re not supposed to and you like it a little too much. You deny your desire towards Bucky, but Steve knows you better than anyone. He knows what you want and need, and he’s determined to fulfil your fantasy; because what his wife wants, she gets. 
⭒ Run For Your Life
He was away from the city for a while, chasing after some bastards who betrayed him. But the traitors were no longer breathing now and Bucky Barnes was finally able to come home to the city he ruled. Mostly, he was excited to come back and see his girl again. However when he got to the strip club where you worked as a waitress, he didn’t find you there. They told him you didn’t work there anymore. No one knew where you went, or why you left. Nobody even knew your real name. Now it was up to him to search the whole wide world to find a nameless girl – one he was obsessively, mindlessly in love with. 
⭒ All Yours
One of your students confess their feelings for you and things get interesting... 
@mellowsaturns  
⭒ In Losing Grip, on Sinking Ships
when the avengers pick up unusual activity, they realize that not all of hydra was destroyed. one unidentifiable face sends the team into a frenzy but bucky knows it. he could recognize those eyes anywhere.
⭒ All to Myself
after bucky finds out why you've been acting up ever since his company's party, he teaches you a lesson and remind you that you're the only one for him
@renxzs
⭒ Redemancy
Maybe it was a bit naive to think moving in with your best friend and long-time crush, Bucky Barnes, was going to be some smooth road that led to an admittance of mutual feelings for one another and a happily-ever-after ending, wrapped up nicely in a bow. Naive indeed; especially when you have to consider the fact that Bucky is the biggest womanizer you know.
@cryptidcasanova
⭒ My Devotion
The one where Bucky doesn’t take your breakup well.
⭒ Loverboy
It's the Bridgerton carriage scene, but make it mob!Bucky.
@subwaysurf45
⭒ She's Not Mad
Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways. 
@adrinktostopyourthirst
⭒ Sniper
Reluctantly, you get thrown into an assignment with Bucky and Yelena, but Bucky doesn't trust you as far as he can throw you. When he's proven to be correct, it turns out you're still a hell of a good team.
⭒ Three Hundred
Bucky always makes sure his best friend is okay, because that is what you need. He's caring, but very passive and nonchalant, because you need it. Not him. He doesn't need that. He doesn't need you. Does he?
Variant
The chaos of the multiverse is quite literally holding up a mirror to Bucky. Turns out, it's very easy to get under someone's skin when you have a universal connection to them.
⭒ Underground
The Underground is the last way for you to survive whatever is left of the world after the Blip. Natasha introduces you to the Winter Soldier whose wing you're under until you find your way around. He's a stoic Underground fighter and you're... useless.
⭒ One Shot
Bucky and you have a hard time staying away from each other. And though you try to push him away, every time he finds you again, the universe finds a new way to pull you apart.
⭒ Satisfied
Drunk sex with Bucky.
@thenhewaswrongaboutme
⭒ Your Hands Have Made Some Good Mistakes
Bucky has to spend six months locked up with a stranger.
⭒ Time Out
Need me a boy who is so needy and whiny when he cums inside for who knows how many times, and yet he still begs as soon as he's done "please, please again? I'll be good, I-I swear, I just need it so bad, just one more baby I promise–"
@bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky
⭒ After All This Time
impending danger puts you and your ex, Bucky, in close quarters.
⭒ Why Are You At The Wake?
Bucky sits by your hospital bed, anxious for you to finally open your eyes. He’s got to set the record straight, and apologize for what he said before you got hurt.
⭒ The Rain Is Always Gonna Come If You're Standing With Me
A hurtful article in a low-budget gossip magazine throws your relationship with Bucky for a loop.
⭒ I Can Go Anywhere I Want, Just Not Home
Bucky doesn't talk to you anymore, and he's less than enthusiastic when he runs into you out of the blue. But when he calls from a strange phone number, the puzzle pieces fall together.
@noceurous
⭒ Get You Back
You hated that you loved Bucky Barnes, and he loved that you could not hate him.
@violentdelightsandviolentends
⭒ Honey Girl
The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.
@notafunkiller
⭒ You Were Just Mine Yesterday
It's been a while since your break up with Bucky happened, but you're still not over him. You try to move on, go out, and have fun with your friend, Steve, but you end up in the same bar you two went to often. It also just happens that Bucky is there too, with Natasha by his side. It doesn't take long for you two to end up getting into old habits.
⭒ Out Of Style
A year after your divorce, you and Bucky come face to face at your closest friends' wedding. Emotions run high, leading to a fiery confrontation that takes a detour to Bucky's hotel room, where the old flame might just reignite.
@queers-gambit
⭒ Curiousity Killed The Cat
after rescuing you from kidnappers, you overhear your boyfriend-turned-savior complain about how clingy you've become.
@cherryblossom-heart
⭒ I Loved You Once
Loving Bucky Barnes was never easy but breaking your heart seemed to come naturally to him. A love story about your heartbreak,his betrayal and a chance at redemption.
@rookthorne
⭒ Purity
Softness was a trait you unwittingly carried - the wings of a dove taking you higher and higher, elevating you in the eyes of the devil. And that devil did not want to wait any longer. It was time to collect.
⭒ His Girls
Cars were all the same to you — classics, imports, you name it, they were all the same. Well, they were, until you were nonetheless forced to visit your local mechanic and saw the man that would pique your interest in not only every single make and model of classic car, but his charming smile; the air of righteous arrogance that flowed from his tattoos, and that damned cheeky glint in his bright eyes.
⭒ Hollywood Boulevard
All it took was one night, one song - hell, one note - and you were gone for him, hook, line, and sinker. Turbulent times lay ahead, but in the afterglow of ecstasy, forced to feel emotions in such intensity for someone you’d never expect, you couldn't help but follow him anyway - he was irresistible, after all.
@boxofbonesfic
⭒ You're Gonna Give Me Six
@gogolucky13
⭒ Mean It
You and Bucky get trapped overnight in the safe house after a mission. Everything should be okay, except he's your ex and thanks to his carelessness, the situation gets a little more complicated.
@intrepidacious
⭒ Almost Believing
You and Bucky aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment. That doesn't mean you're getting out of having to pretend to be married for a mission.
@buckybarnesdiaries
⭒ Please
Bucky needed to be spoiled.
@buckys-darling
⭒ Face The Sun
To ensure the prosperity of their two kingdoms, a determined Princess and reluctant King are to be wed. She is willing to commit, but he can’t seem to let his lover go. 
⭒ Will You Love Me Tomorrow?
You and Bucky are friends who fuck and nothing more. That’s what you’ll keep telling yourself, at least.
⭒ Electric
Flirtation has a different meaning with Bucky, and his patience doesn't last long when it comes to you.
@straywords
⭒ Kiss It Better
You’re not entirely sure your boss with the staring problem even likes you, but you’re determined to do your job either way.
@little-miss-dilf-lover
⭒ Fifteen Minutes
@bucksfucks
⭒ The Feeling's Mutual
the amount of times you and bucky have seen each other masturbating is alarmingly high. might as well do it together.
@ellemj
⭒ Bigger Than He Was
Bucky pretends to be your new man when you run into your ex in public. However, the little act of pretending sparks something inside of him that he didn't know was there.
⭒ Strawberries
Bucky, the man with a long list of girls on his roster, gets exposed to a sex pollen in the field. Will he fuck the first girl he calls or the girl he's wanted for the last two months?
⭒ Breathe
Bucky hates the way you take unnecessary risks in the field, the way you're so mesmerizing and yet so hard to work with, and he especially hates the way you get on your knees for him during a dangerous mission. Finding out how pretty you look on your knees is the last thing he needs.
⭒ Flustered, part 2
Bucky seems to thoroughly appreciate all women...except for you. When he finds out one of your weaknesses, he can't help but use it against you, which only makes you hate him more.
⭒ Inevitable
While on a mission with Sam, John Walker, and Bucky, you're the only person exposed to a sex pollen. Bucky sure as hell isn't going to let anyone else take care of you.
⭒ Blurred Lines
When choosing a female agent to send back in time to gain young Sergeant Barnes's trust, everyone's in agreement that it should be Sharon. Until Bucky, the man that you barely get along with, speaks up and lets everyone know that it could only be you.
@viixenvi
⭒ Red
You work at a strip club and Bucky is a regular. Tonight he specifically asks for you in a private room. You never thought he'd love the color red on you so much.
@ro-is-struggling
⭒ Self Care
Bucky always seemed interested in your skin care routine, so when one day he arrives tired and drained from a mission, you take the opportunity to show him the importance and benefits of self-care.
@kinanabinks
⭒ Silent Girl
After a traumatizing event, you aren’t the friendliest or most talkative of people. Bucky understands, and in turn becomes the one person you soften your hard exterior for.
@angrythingstarlight
⭒ Roommate Bucky
@wkemeup
⭒ Cold, Cold Water
While on a stakeout in the heart of Russia, Bucky learns that touch can bring something more than pain and he will willingly give himself over to the ice if it means keeping you alive.
⭒ Drunk On You
Bucky has always been nervous around you. When he’s tasked with caring for you after a night of heavy drinking and suddenly you’re kissing him, Bucky doesn’t know what to do. You couldn’t possibly want him sober, right?
⭒ Honey and Chamomile
Four cups of tea, four distinct moments in time, and each pulls you in closer beyond the walls surrounding Bucky’s heart.
⭒ Suburbia
Posing as husband and wife, you and Bucky infiltrate a quaint suburban neighborhood in search of a Hydra hacker. Perhaps if you weren’t so in love with him and he hadn’t broken your heart, the act of pretending wouldn’t hurt so much.
⭒ Eclipse
When a mission leaves you empty and broken, Bucky is determined to heal the wounds that linger deeper than the cuts on the surface. 
⭒ Back to Bourbon Street
When you’re badly injured on a mission, Bucky works desperately to keep you alive. Only, it might not be enough. 
@espinosaurusrexex
⭒ Bad Boys Don't Buy Flowers
Bucky would have never thought, he’d be chasing after a girl. Not when all of them usually fell at his feet. But when he finds himself entangled in a deal born out of a desperate argument with his assistant, he realizes there is nothing he wouldn't do for you: The independent florist who is adamantly dragging him to the homeless shelter every chance she gets. There is just one problem: Bucky doesn't know how to tell you. And the teasing from his friends is certainly not making things easier for him...
@navybrat817
⭒ Reconnect
Bucky Barnes is your best friend. You're also in love with him. After his recent breakup, the two of you get a chance to reconnect during a weeklong vacation together. Is it long enough to get your happy ending?
@dyspneagrime (wattpad & ao3)
⭒ No Privacy
You're stuck on a mission that never seems to end, in a completely destroyed studio apartment, with absolutely no privacy. And no privacy means- you haven't cum the whole time. Thing is, neither has the ancient, half-cyborg, psychopathic, hobo-lookin' asshole that you've been partnered up with.
⭒ Little Wing
The year is 1973. All Dove Rogers wanted was a relaxing summer. Just one last hoorah before being thrust into the adult life. Yet everything shifts when her new houseguest and long standing enemy- Bucky Barnes, arrives. In the thick of sun-kissed relaxation, the two of them are forced to face the awakening and burning desire growing between them.
⭒ Possessed
Margaret Everlee is a meek little thing. Living her life as a struggling artist in New York, trying to find her place in the world. That is until the formidable CEO with a dark past, James Barnes sets his sights on her. His infatuation is instantaneous, becoming a man obsessed with making her his own little doll.
@stardustdreams-andcaffeine
⭒ The Thin Line
Of one thing you were certain—Bucky Barnes hated you, and you hated him. How could you not, considering the super soldier had made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell after you had been assigned to protect him? But there was someone after Bucky from his past, and now he was forced to work alongside you to stop them. And in the process, you would find out just how thin that line was between love and hate.
@buckybabesonly
⭒ Wanna Be Yours
You are afraid to believe that someone like Bucky might actually love you back.
@lovelybucky1
⭒ Flirting and Football
@kurogxrix
⭒ Drunkenly In Love
you and Bucky ‘accidentally’ get married after a drunken game of truth or dare with the avengers.
@stxrvel
⭒ Hate Is A Strong Word
you hated Bucky and you were convinced that he hated you back. until one time he was talking to you and it started to sound... lovely? what was happening?
@kikixreverie
⭒ Its Called: Freefall
Things get heated between you and your closest friend Bucky, when you're made to play a married couple on an important mission. Neither of you can help yourselves when you end up stuck in a hotel room together, with sexual tension you could cut with a knife.
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james potter’s OG Hoes™️ (some of them ain’t loyal)
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close ups and the sketch bc i like it a lot:
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orangemernium · 1 month
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watching Star Trek for the first time
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thechy-fychannel · 6 months
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"House isn't my— we're not gay."
"if you die, I'm alone."
"probably because of my secret, very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."
"you were thinking about Wilson while we were having sex? That's so cool, me too!"
"I thought your Wilson fetish was over?"
"I need you to tell me that you love me."
"you have everything you need right here. We both do."
"I just want to enjoy my last five months with family and friends." "Friends or friend?"
"what does that mean? You're done with Wilson? As long as Wilson is alive, you're not done with Wilson."
"I want a threesome." "Shouldn't we try a twosome first?"
"I'm dead, Wilson. How do you want to spend your last five months?"
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11 years old Regulus: I hate you.
12 years old James: You're cute.
*6 YEARS LATER*
Regulus: I hate you.
James: Love you too.
That's it.
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regeditt · 8 months
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James: i'm so tired of listening to sirius and moony hooking up
Peter: i'm so tired of listening to you and regulus hooking up
James: don't talk about my regulus like that
Peter: no, i meant, in the sense that-
James: it's awfully quiet over on your bed, isn't it?
Peter: ...
Peter: now that was just cruel
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propertyofjameswilson · 2 months
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Way to the pain
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lacking-rodents · 1 month
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Bitches be like: I watch Deadpool 3 for the plot!
Meanwhile the plot:
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aithusarosekiller · 4 months
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Imagine how mad everyone would be when 'school sweetheart, funny, sassy, modern Adonis, gryffindor prince James potter' had almost the entire school in love with him and chose to go for 'nasty, angry, Victorian looking Slytherin seeker Regulus Black, who pretends to hate him all the time'
And James doesn't even care he's just head over fucking heels for his boy
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shipspainfulships · 2 months
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You can like ships without hating on other ships. Like ffs the jegulus hate is so mind boggling. What the fuck? God if you don't like it DON'T COMMENT ON IT MAYBE? Why is the hate necessary.
Jegulus is as beautiful as Jily. Both are really good ships. Most good jegulus ships don't hate on Lily. We all love Lily ok?
I am a multishipper; I ship jegulus, jily and when I can't decide which one I like more I go with jegulily. It's just very fucking weird to hate on something that brings people joy.
Go get a life.
Reminder: hating does not make you cool.
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theo-notts-doll · 8 months
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regulus is a short little man but when he and sirius both stop growing he is a singular inch taller than sirius and they'll fight about it for the rest of their lives that is my truth
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