#kept me up till 6am some nights;

[volosdarling]

WHENEVER THE VOLO BOT ON TWITTER POSTS THIS I GET SO SAD BC I WISH I COULD BE BY HIS SIDE BUT THIS IS BEFORE HE MEETS MY SONA ANYWAY :-(

[goblinontour]

To The First Girl Who Lit Him A Flame (Part 2)

alex returns the favour with your help

part 1 | part 3

warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), it gets sticky, nothing crazy there’s quite a lot of fluff too

word count: 4.2k

your head was pounding by the time you got home, who would’ve thought the night would end up with you sucking off alex turner in the bathroom? you were smiling to yourself thinking back to it as you threw yourself on the soft bed in your room. your eyes were closing and as you were about to fall asleep your phone chimed and all the tiredness dissipated when you saw it was alex texting you.

you two made sure to exchange phone numbers by the time you had to go home, and even though it was already late you ended up texting till the morning, both equally excited for later that day.

you said your ‘good nights’ somewhere around 6am and you immediately fell asleep.

things couldn’t be more different for alex on the other hand. he was lying in his bed with his arms crossed behind his head and he kept staring at the ceiling, overthinking and already panicking. why did he invite you over? well, because he liked you of course, but he didn’t know how any of this worked, didn’t know what he was supposed to do. he thought about telling one of the guys and asking for some advice but they weren’t any better, they were still virgins as well and didn’t have any experience with girls, as far as he knew.

he was about to embarrass himself in front of the girl he liked and ruin all of his chances of this going anywhere, he thought. at some point he rolled over and straight up screamed into his pillow. this was happening regardless, no way to back out now. it wasn’t like he didn’t want it, he was just stressing out. and so he forced himself to at least get a couple of hours of sleep so he wouldn’t be completely knackered by the time you came around.

when he woke up he popped out to the store to get some snacks and drinks or whatever. on his way back home though he passed a pharmacy and stopped in his way. should he buy condoms? would he need them? how far did you think tonight would go? was he ready for that? he decided to get some just in case, better prepared than not.

he started pacing around the house, stressing once more, but he busied himself by cleaning up and tidying his room so it would look nice. he was snapped out of his little bubble by one of your texts.

“you never gave me your address al”

“yeah sorry i forgot i guess, but don’t worry about it, i’m picking you up, you live near royal on columbia right?”

“yes xx see you there?”

“definitely, 5?

“perfect”

by picking you up he meant see you there and walk together to his house. he didn’t have a car yet, still shared it with his mum and his parents were away with it.

he just waited for the time to pass, had a shower and tried to make himself look as good as possible.

in the meantime, you were bursting with excitement. you didn’t think you’d ever end up going to his house and for that reason out of everything, but you liked him, he was really nice and sweet and you didn’t see how anything could go bad. you did your makeup and all that and decided to wear your matching black lingerie set for him, to make it all the more special. you popped on a little miniskirt and sweater number, it was still quite cold and you wanted to be comfy at the same time.

it was about 10 to 5 when you spotted him outside. he was pacing on the spot, hoping he was in the right place. so you didn’t leave him waiting for any longer, grabbed your bag and went to meet him.

you grabbed him by the shoulders from behind but he was wearing his earphones so he didn’t hear you coming up behind him and you scared the shit out of his already hyper self, making him jump.

“sorry alex didn’t mean to scare ya”

“it’s alright” he giggled while wrapping the wires around his phone and stuffing them in his pocket “you look really nice y/n. very pretty indeed” that last part wasn’t supposed to be said out loud, it was more him thinking to himself but the words came out anyway.

“thank you” you murmured, hugging his side and squeezing his waist a tiny bit as you two started walking to his.

it didn’t take that long, he lived just a few blocks away and you were too into the conversation to even notice how time slipped and you were already at his front door.

“make yourself at home” he told you, but he felt anxious again “what are we uhm…what do you wanna do?”

“why don’t we just watch a film for now?” you suggested, thinking it would be easier to just hang out and get him more relaxed first.

“drink?”

“yes please, thank youuu” getting louder towards the end for him to hear you as he was walking towards the kitchen behind you.

he stayed in there for quite a while, you were starting to get a bit worried honestly. you went in to check on him and he was just standing there, leaning over the edge of the counter holding it by the edge and staring at the drinks in front of him.

“you alright al?” he didn’t say anything so you messed with the hair at the back of his head “hey”

“yeah i’m fine just…popcorn?” he was panicking.

“yes” you agreed, kissing him on the cheek. he couldn’t help but smile and he got all blushy, but you let him do his thing, staying close by.

when he raised his arms to get the bowl and everything else from the cupboard his fitted long sleeve climbed up as well, exposing his waist and his hips where his jeans didn’t quite cover his underwear, leaving the waistband visible. you bit your lip thinking about how you’d get to touch that later.

the two of you settled on the sofa and fought over what movie to put on until you came to an agreement. he was sitting close to you, but not close enough, and he didn’t know how or when to initiate anything so you took the first step and cuddled up closer to him, which encouraged him to wrap his arm around your shoulder, followed by you resting your head in the crook of his neck. in his mind he was going crazy and he hoped you couldn’t feel his heart beating to the point he felt it was going to burst out from his chest. of course you did, but you weren’t going to mention it.

you just couldn’t wait any longer. feeling him so close, right there within your reach, you couldn’t help yourself. you pressed a kiss to his neck, immediately feeling him tense up as he straightened his back. but as you kept leaving little kisses to his soft skin he started to melt into you, and even though you could hardly hear it due to how quiet it was, you felt a moan vibrating in his throat against your lips. He turned slightly to face you better, and he looked at you for a few seconds before asking

“can i kiss you?”

“how could i say no silly?” you replied, forcing yourself to not just grab him already, leaving him to do it. and he did, he leaned down and your lips were together again, and it was just as perfect as it had been that first time. your hands quickly found their way into his hair, making a mess of it, again, pulling on some pieces to get him to make all those pretty sounds that were like music to your ears. he got some more confidence and nudged you to get on his lap, and you happily complied, moving to sit on him. you pulled his head back by his hair to expose that big neck with so much space, just ready to be adorned with marks. although it took all the strength he had in him, he pulled you away.

“i said i would return the favour, let me.”

he followed in your steps, doing just as you had been doing to him, kissing your neck, leaving little bites all the way from behind your ear, down to your collarbone, holding the neck of your sweater pulled down with one of his fingers, so he could have proper access. you were so turned on, like you’ve never ever been in your life. you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was exactly, he wasn’t giving you anything you haven’t received before. maybe it was just him.

“wanna take it to your room then?”

“yes…mhmmm” he trailed off, mumbling something else you couldn’t make out, his face was still buried between your sweater and your neck, getting covered by your hair falling over it. he picked you up as his lips connected back to yours and started walking backwards to the staircase. he wasn’t quite so shy anymore, his hands finding their place on your ass, grabbing at it and going under your skirt, touching you directly over your skin. you’d decided to not wear any tights, despite it being cool out, you knew they’d be painfully in the way of your activities.

the moment got cut off however when alex fell on his ass on the stairs, bringing you down with him, of course. you both burst out laughing and it was addicting, the way his whole face lit up and that little scrunch of his nose ugh.

it didn’t stop you for long. his lips found yours once more, picking you back up and getting you two, safely, to his room, where he laid you down on his bed and crawled over you, both adjusting more to the middle so you could sit comfortably. he kept kissing your neck, feeling your body carefully, stopping when his hand was almost touching your breast to ask “is this okay?”. you nodded, aching for him. you could feel the arousal pooling in between your legs already as he started kneading one of your breasts over your top, if you weren’t wearing black there’d for sure be a wet patch visible.

“please alex” you said in a breathy tone, the air feeling heavy around you from how worked up you got. “can i?” you asked, fingers hooking at the bottom of his shirt, pulling on it slightly to show him you wanted it off, now.

“yeah” with his approval, you didn’t waste anymore time, bringing the top over his head and taking a second to admire his bare torso. so delicate. “can i take yours off?”

“thought you would never ask” you joked “please.”

he took off your sweater, leaving you in just your bra and your skirt that’s been riding up, resting all bunched up at the top of your thighs. his eyes trailed over your body, flicking between both breasts, he couldn’t believe his luck, that this was happening and it was real. he started kissing you again, slowly going down your body, caressing the sides with his big hands, his fingers dragging across your skin making it break out in goosebumps and tingles.

“i need you, touch me, please” you were getting desperate, would start begging if he didn’t attend to you soon enough.

he didn’t stop in his way this time. he sneaked his hands under your waist to raise you up so he could pull down your skirt. he continued by placing kisses to the newly exposed skin, down the insides of your thighs, getting closer to where you needed him the most. he hovered over your clothed pussy for a second, his breaths hitting it, making your need for him grow, until he finally left a kiss over it, his nose accidentally nudging just the perfect spot.

“please alex”

“uh…okay, okay” he said nervously now that he would actually have to get on with it. he pulled down your panties and you pushed them off from where they bunched up at your ankles, landing somewhere on the floor but you paid no mind to it now, too focused on him. his breath hitched in his throat and his dick twitched in his pants when he laid his eyes on the sight in front of him. “just a second” he pleaded, getting up to take off his jeans that had his growing erection strained. he just couldn’t stand them anymore. you took that as your queue to also take off your bra, leaving you completely bare under his watch. he sat on his knees, in between your parted ones, inviting and begging him to touch you. he snaked his arm around one of your legs and rested his face against it. he was just stalling, not knowing how exactly to start, what he should do, and he didn’t want to embarrass himself.

“what should i, you know…could you guide me through it so it’s good for you?”

you brought your own hand in between your legs and started touching yourself, running your fingers through your lips, gathering some of the wetness and bringing it to your clit, stopping to give him some pointers.

“right here. see?” moaning quietly from how needy you felt, and to rile him up more.

“yeah” his response barely audible from how entranced he was while watching you touch yourself.

“alex” you called out, to get him to focus properly.

“mhm?”

“your turn now.”

“oh. uhm…okay, alright”

he lowered his hand where yours just was and he used two of his fingers to spread your pussy lips apart, exploring all of this carefully, as it was his first time ever experiencing it. he started by playing around with your clit, just like you showed him, and he got the hang of it, applying the perfect amount of pressure, slowly getting you there, the tension of it all making you hornier and you knew it wouldn’t take that long, even with his inexperience. you tried not to watch him too intensely, so he could relax, but those little glances you’d catch of him all focused were delightful.

he pleasantly surprised you when you noticed him scooting down on the bed so his mouth could reach your pussy, attaching his lips to your clit, where he previously played with his fingers, and you gasped as you felt his tongue poking out to lick it. he went lower to lap at all the wetness that kept pooling down there.

“you taste so good. fucking delightful” you couldn’t help but get a bit amused by his dirty talk, not that it was bad, you just weren’t used to it. the guy that wouldn’t risk getting too close to you on the sofa earlier was now complimenting how your pussy tasted. you could get used to it though.

your thoughts were interrupted when a loud moan, almost a cry, escaped your lips as you felt one of his fingers enter you, while he kept teasing your clit with his tongue. god his fingers were so long. You could feel every ridge of his knuckles as he pumped it in and out of your dripping cunt, so wet, just for him.

“more” and he obliged, instantly adding another finger and you already felt full, full of him.

“does that feel good?” he was enjoying it as well, by now he started subconsciously rutting his hips into the mattress, dying for some friction, anything to fix the aching hard on he had.

“yes, oh my god, how are you this good” you asked, more to yourself, not really expecting an answer, but this was all too good. maybe you were just too horny, but you didn’t think so. he was doing a really good job. and that was because while he kept going at it, he watched out for how your body responded to each one of his moves, keeping in mind what seemed to make you feel the best, like when he curled his fingers and you tightened your grip on the sheets, or when he touched your clit just right with his tongue and he could feel your thighs closing around his head.

you were so close, just needed a little bit more, so you started playing with your nipples, pinching them lightly, but he quickly noticed and took over one of them with his free hand, rolling it between his fingers just like he would do to himself when he was wanking, he loved how the double stimulation felt, and it was particularly pleasurable for him, so he thought the same would work for you. and it did. he kept hitting that perfect spot inside you, and his mouth. god. he switched between sucking that little sensitive bud between his lips and licking it and he found a delicious rhythm and position that made you bring your legs over his shoulders, wrapping around him and trapping him in there so he wouldn’t dare move, your hand flying to his hair, getting all tangled up, pushing him deeper into your heat. he was also moaning and making little whimper sounds. although muffled by his face being all up in your pussy, doing god’s work, you could feel them against your skin, the vibrations giving you all the more pleasure.

everything was just too much, you came apart beneath alex, saying his name over and over, mumbling praises for how amazing he was and how fucking good he was making you feel. it was one of the best orgarms you’d ever had, not even joking. no one had been able to make you cum like that, that good, except yourself, but that was different. was he sure he didn’t do this before because goddamn. you came all over his face and fingers until you pulled him away, becoming way too much. he pulled his fingers out and before he could do anything else you leaned over and grabbed him by the wrist, taking them in your mouth, cleaning them up, humming in pleasure as you tasted yourself and his jaw was on the floor as he was watching you. you did taste good, he wasn’t wrong. you then grabbed his jaw and pulled him into a kiss, pulling his body back up over yours and you felt him hard against you, his erection rubbing over the inside of your thighs through his tight boxers. you brought your hand down to feel him and he bit his lip to suppress the moan he was about to let out as you squeezed his hard cock.

“do you wanna, you know…?” you asked him.

“fuck” he let out as you kept touching him, the pressure feeling delicious.

“yeah, that” you giggled, you knew that wasn’t what he was trying to say by ‘fuck’, but once you realised how it came out right after your question, you couldn’t help yourself.

“no i meant-” you cut him off before he would start overexplaining and getting all stressed again.

“i know baby”

‘baby’, he liked how that sounded from you.

“i don’t think uhmm…if you don’t mind, i just, i don’t think i’m quite ready for that yet, if that’s okay? ‘m sorry”

“don’t apologise al, it’s more than okay, do you wanna maybe try something else, so you can…so we can fix this” squeezing him a bit tighter as you said that.

“like what?”

you flipped the pair of you over so you were on top of him now, sitting on top of his thighs.

“can i take these off?” referring to his underwear, your fingers toying with the waistband.

“mhm…yeah, yes.”

you pushed them down, not bothering to pull them all the way off, they wouldn’t be in the way. his cock was painfully hard, resting on top of his lower tummy now. you went to sit a bit higher up, your pussy rubbing over his length for a split second, making you shiver, still sensitive, as you positioned yourself over him. he was getting nervous as to what you were planning on doing. you rested your body over his, your chests pressing together. his hips automatically bucked up as you left a wet kiss to his neck, and his cock rubbed in between your bodies. and it felt so good. it wasn’t that far from actually fucking, but to him it was different, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it right now, he was still a bit scared. but this was good. you could hear him grunting quietly as he kept moving to get that friction.

“i was thinking of finishing you with my hand.” you said before nipping his earlobe with your teeth, making him moan louder now.

“mmno, this is…good, so good…”

“keep going baby, make yourself feel good”

this was something new to you, and it was so fucking hot. you weren’t getting much stimulation from this, if any, but that didn’t mean it didn’t bring you pleasure, seeing him under you, his face all scrunched and his eyes squeezed shut as he was desperately working to get his release. and also you being the reason he’s this worked up in the first place, eating you out making him get this weak.

you pushed more of your weight down on him, and to help him get there you started rolling your hips slightly, in sync with his moves.

the added pressure, and everything else, from your rocking over him, to the lingering touches and breaths on his neck, and your praises and encouragements, did the trick.

he stalled his movements and you could feel his warm release as he came in between your bodies, coating his belly and yours.

you rolled off from him when he was done so he could get some space to breathe, watching his blissed expression as he was panting and his chest was rising up and down rapidly. as soon as he came down from that lovely high he pulled you back to his side and kissed your temple, grabbing your waist to pull you closer but he winced as you accidentally touched his now soft cock with your leg.

“sorry”

“‘s all good” he assured you. one of his hands went to rest on his stomach but he was reminded of the dirty mess he made when he felt his sticky cum on his palm.

“we should clean up, i’ll just be a sec”

he got up and pulled his boxers back on, going to grab some wipes for the both of you. he insisted on cleaning you up as well, saying it’s his mess to clean. adorable. he gave you one of his tshirts and once you were all done he disappeared into the bathroom for a moment. the truth was he just needed a moment alone to freak out now. was this real? did that just happen? he was the happiest boy in the world in his mind, except for one thing. he hoped you wouldn’t blow him off completely because you didn’t fuck.

that wasn’t even a concern for you, it wouldn’t make you change your mind about him at all.

when he got back he had a shirt on as well, and a new pair of boxers. he jumped over you on the bed and hugged you close to him, peppering your face in the kisses you were now accustomed to, and you could get used to then happening more often, you were weak for him, completely whipped at this point. even though you’d only known each other for basically two days, you couldn’t think of just forgetting about this and pretending none of it happened.

“thank you” he hummed, his face now buried in the crook of your neck as he stayed on top of you like a little fluffy bear. “and ‘m sorry we didn’t, you know…”

“you don’t have anything to apologise for alex” you reassured, your hands playing with his hair. “that was honestly so fucking hot” making him laugh against you.

“okay”

you were happy that he agreed. and it wasn’t a lie just to get him to feel better. that was truly so hot to you and you didn’t mind it at all, he’d already given you a great orgasm. you guessed playing guitar does have its advantages, cause those fingers did a spectacular job for being his first time ever doing that to a girl.

you stayed like that for a while, cuddled up with him on top of you. he even fell asleep not short after you’d ended talking about that film you were watching earlier. the weight was comfortable. he was like a cat of some sorts, you could barely feel him but it was bringing you that comforting warm feel, his breathing like a kitten’s purring.

a/n: IT’S HEREEE, i really wasn’t expecting so many people to like the first one, i hope you’ll like this too, and i’m sorry they didn’t fuck for real but i had this in mind and i just needed to get it out there. it’s 5am as i’m posting, i tried to check it but the words started to look like a big blob from how long i’ve been staring at it, so i’m sorry if there are any mistakes. also i decided to keep the same title so it would be easier to find, in case i end up doing a part 3 if you really want it. AND if anyone cares, the title is a play off one of the lyrics from the song ‘From Me, the Moon’ by Lav (apple music / spotify)

tags: @4chaos @picturezonthewall @st7rnioioss @theonlyoneswhoknowsblog @whitepontiac

[vaesbst]

Malevolence || S.C

╰┈➤ Synopsis; In high school, a student is relentlessly tormented by a popular classmate who takes pleasure in her suffering. Despite the cruelty, she secretly finds a disturbing pleasure in his torment. One early morning, as she sits alone in an empty classroom, the bully arrives unexpectedly, intensifying the tension and leading to a chilling encounter where their hidden desires come to light.

╰┈➤ Paring; Changbin x Reader

╰┈➤ Genre; school au, bully trope, degradation, smut

╰┈➤ Warnings; explicit language, mentions of sadism and masochism, degradation, rough sex, no condom, slight nipple play, mentions of masturbation, implied sexual assault.

Notes; I’ve never written smut before so this was a bit different. Just wanted to remind y’all that english isn’t my first language so I do apologise to any mistakes. Changbin is over 18 in this story so don’t worry. Please do leave me some feedback as they help me improve.

Neither school nor home life had ever been easy for you. Between the constant bullying you were subjected to at school and the unhealthy relationship you had with your dysfunctional family, sometimes you wondered whether there was truly a place out there where you could feel at ease and “normal” for once.

As you sat at your home room’s desk engraved with various swear words and deaths threats that kept accumulating day by day, you trembled in fear due to the impending doom that was going to be making its appearance within the next few hours.There were moments when you found yourself questioning whether you’ve angered some strange supernatural force that was now exacting it’s vengeance by asserting that your life is miserable after being involved with mentioned pending doom, as everything began going down hill for you the second you became Seo Changbin’s prime target.

It was early in the morning so you knew he was not going to be making his appearance anytime soon, but the thought of what new torture mechanism he had come up with for you that day, designed to satisfy his sadistic tendencies, terrified you.

Though lately you’ve had very strange thoughts. At the beginning, when he had just began tormenting you, there was nothing you despised more than seeing his face and his callous smirk staring you down whilst you were licking the boys toilets urinals like he made you to. Or like when he had asked you to stand in rain while he sat in the shade, as he gazed at you intensely with his hand gripping his crotch.

At first you pondered why he had forced you to stand in the rainfall for seemingly no reason, but once you noticed that he wasn’t looking at your face but somewhere slightly below your chin, you had followed his gaze and landed on your chest, therefore realising the true intent behind his strange request leaving you disgusted, attempting to cover yourself with your arms as much as you possibly could but with no avail.

But now, 9 nights out of 10 you’d wake up hyperventilating with your panties drenched in your core’s juices as you’d try stabilising your breath after the very intense dreams you’d have about him and the things he’d make you do at school.

As you were still immersed in your lewd thoughts, the door swung open, the loud bang startling you and bringing an end to your fantasies.

“I knew I’d find you here” said a very familiar voice. Your head snapped towards the entrance to confirm your suspicions about the origins of the voice, and unfortunately there stood the last person you wanted to see right now.

“W-what are you doing here?” your voice wavering in terror, “it’s 6am. School doesn’t start till 8”

Your trembling voice had definitely triggered something within him as his sadistic smirk had made an appearance again “I just thought I’d come in early today to play with my favourite toy before everyone else get here” he says, closing the door in a swift motion and locking it behind him.

You gripped onto your sit in anticipation and slight fear. In a sense, you had become desensitised to his actions due to how often they were happening but the idea that this time there was nobody else around scared you and intrigued you at the same time.

You looked down at your feet, waiting for him to approach you, but strangely that never happened. You were wondering what was taking him so long so you looked back to where he initially had been standing being surprised when you found him sitting on a chair in front of the door, facing you with his legs slightly spread. He was staring at you very intensely.

Noticing your confused expression, he leaned towards you and rested his forearms against his thighs, “you look very appetising right now” he admitted, subtly scanning your body and licking his lips,“shall we play a little game?”

You were dumbfounded. His typical aggressive demeanour seemed to have evaporated today, but you were still on edge nonetheless as you had no idea when or whether it was going to emerge again.

Being that you didn’t want to trigger his anger, you slowly nodded your head and waited for his next move.

He smiled at your shy nod and sat himself back in his original slouched position, legs still spread looking at you suggestively, “crawl to me like the little bitch you are”

Your eyes widen at the sudden request, being slightly taken aback by his tone,but you do what he says regardless. You reluctantly slid off your chair and got down on all fours, and as you began to gradually crawl towards him, you looked at him with hooded eyes as you felt your panties dampening.

Though you’d never admit it out loud, despite the fact that Changbin had dedicated his life towards making you as feel miserable as possible, you did recognise that he was a relatively attractive guy. Maybe you were speaking from a biased position since the recent vulgar dreams you’ve been having about him, or maybe you were just deeply troubled, but you’d be lying if you said that right now he didn’t look sexy, sitting seductively in front of you with his ruffled brunette hair staring you down with his intimidating dark eyes and his tight white short-sleeved shirt accentuating his biceps.

“Fuck~” he hissed, his hand now gravitating towards his clothed bulge squeezing it lightly. You bit your lip to stifle a moan after witnessing his erotic motion. You may have been somewhat enjoying this moment but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he was doing something to you.

You finally reached him and you positioned yourself between his spreaded legs. He grabbed your chin and tilted your head upwards towards his face, “you’re such a pathetic little slut” he sneered and placed his thumb in your mouth “suck on it”

Looking up at him innocently, you took his thumb into your mouth and began sucking messily, saliva coating it. Watching you so intently, Changbin lost all composure, hastily unbuckling his trousers and pulling out his throbbing, red member.

“Get off my thumb you disgusting whore” he venomously spat between pants as he was vigorously jerking his member. The aggressiveness in his tone made you whimper as you began humping the air in search of some friction to relieve the pleasurable tight tension you felt in your core but with no success.

“You’re so needy. I barely touched you yet your moaning like I’ve been fucking you for hours” he chuckled grabbing your throat and squeezing it tightly. “What should I make you do today…”

Changbin’s grip was so tight that you started feeling lightheaded. You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness though, for some strange reason, this restricting yet euphoric feeling made you squeeze your legs together, your sensitive throbbing bud finally feeling some sort of relief.

You needed him to fuck you. You were so overwhelmed and horny that you felt like you were going to combust within any seconds. You were still squeezing your legs together very tightly as you began tearing up and attempted to plead to him “Ch…changbin p…please~”

“Please what? You’re gonna have to elaborate” the grip he had on your throat began to loosen as if to give you a chance to speak. He slowed down his jerking movements and began smearing his excessive amount of precum around his reddened tip, hissing at the ecstatic feeling.

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that you wanted him to fuck you senseless and you were unsure whether it was out of shame or the pure anger you still money harboured against him for the past humiliating actions he imposed onto you.

But you didn’t want this moment to end (not like you had a say in the matter) so you chose to let your actions speak for yourself as you grabbed his member and slowly started stroking it.

Changbin gasped both in pleasure and utter surprise as he did not expect such bold movements from you.

He let you stroke his cock for a while as he sat back and observed your little hands struggling grasp his thick member amused, but when you unexpectedly put his entire member in your mouth, Changbin let out a loud moan, bucking his hips further and rubbing and twisting his nipples underneath his white school shirt in search of more pleasure.

“Oh fuck~ Y/N just like that…” he groaned as he grabbed the back of your head and started moving his hips faster. “Y…your mouth is so warm”

Your eyes were tearing up as Changbin was roughly fucking your mouth, his tip reaching your uvula. You choked a couple of times, the vibrations from your coughs sending Changbin into a state of pure bliss as he began thrusting faster “I think i…i’m g- gonna cum soon…” but before he could release his hot creamy load into your mouth he stopped his movements and forcefully pulled your head off of his member.

You looked at him confused at the sudden interruption, especially when he seemed to have been really close to release.

“W-why did you…” but you didn’t have enough time to finish your sentence as he grabbed your arm and pulled you up onto his lap, making you straddle his thighs.

“Sit on it” he firmly stated as he grabbed his throbbing member that was resting against his abdomen, coating it in precum and began lightly stroking it. You did exactly as he said as you aligned his member with your entrance and slowly started lowering your self onto it, your tight moist core engulfing his thick veiny cock until it fully disappeared.

You exhaled as he grabbed your hips and began thrusting up against you in a fast motion. “F-fuck C…changbin” you moaned as you buried your face in his neck, trying your best to meet his thrust but with no avail as your legs felt numb.

“You like that yeah? You fucking slut, I knew you liked everything I used to do to you, you thought I didn’t notice how you’d look at me huh? With want in your eyes you pathetic whore” he grabbed your hair and pulled you off his neck, glaring at you with malice with his signature smirk still plastered on his face.

“Now look at you, bouncing on my cock and screaming my name. Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? I bet you’re gonna recall this moment again tonight when you touch yourself whilst thinking about me you fucking wench” his harsh words stirred something within you, as a familiar warmth began forming in your core and you finished all over his member screaming his name in utter ecstasy.

The grip your folds had against his cock tightens as you came, causing Changbin to release his load shortly after with a low groan.

You both looked at each other panting deeply as you attempted to regain composure. You weren’t sure about what was going to happen next, whether he was going to shout more abuse at you or just nonchalantly push you off of him and leave, so you chose to take the initiative and reluctantly stand up, grimacing at the slimy feeling in your pussy.

Changbin, who was still looking at you in awe decided to stand too, readjusting his trousers and grabbing your wrist, pulling you towards the door

“Where are you taking me?” you asked, attempting to snatch your arm away from his tight grip but failing miserably due to your weakened state and his inhumane strength “I thought that was my punishment for today, what else do you want from me!?” you shouted exasperated, tears forming in your eyes due to frustration by his lack of response and also a sudden feeling of emptiness.

You knew that Changbin would probably keep humiliating and torturing you like he always had, with little to no regards to your feelings or wellbeing, but in a strange way, you wanted something more. After your little session today, you felt closer to him, and the thought of never experiencing that connection with him again made you feel angry and frustrated.

Changbin turned around, noticing the tears in your eyes and stopped dead in his tracks. His features softened as he started caressing your cheeks, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry” he softly cooed “I just wanted to take you to the toilet so I could clean you up, plus it’s still 7 in the morning and class won’t start till 9. I thought that maybe we could grab something to eat together” he smiled, anxiously waiting for your response.

“Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?” he shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his feet “are you coming or not?Because I could just leave you here and go if you don’t want to” he mumbled.

He looked up at you, wondering why it was taking you so long to decide. Since you weren’t in the mood to protest you nodded, deciding to follow him. He smiled at you, grabbed your hand gently and you led you outside of the classroom with your fingers intertwined, both grinning like fools about the occurrences that happened just a few minutes ago.

[dumplingsjinson]

Okay so a lot happened this date lmfao, but lemme just summarise:

1. Met some of his friends. Initially was supposed to be 6pm-10pm, but we ended up drinking the night away. They were all dudes and I was initially uncomfy until I got them drinks in. Ended up at one of his friend’s house until 6am, drunk as fuck, drinking more and trauma bonding, and got back to his (cat guy’s) house at 7:30am. Basically pulled an all nighter for the first time and not even for a fucking assignment lmfao. Added 3/4 of them on Instagram because one of them left too early for me to be drunk enough to have the courage to ask for their instas LMFAO. Also ended up peeing in a bush (they all encouraged me then walked away lmfao) because I couldn’t wait till we got to his friend’s house and I think some passer by MIGHT have seen me skdksks. Also didn’t end up ice skating because my fuckass foot hurts. I ended up skipping my first day of uni because of the fucking all nighter I pulled due to the drinks and stayed at his house for the rest of the day 💀

2. His friend kept calling me a “secret” and saying cat guy was hiding me LMAO. Turns out cat guy never name dropped me and only told them he was dating someone, so I don’t think they knew who I was exactly until very recently (probably as recently as just two days before). There is only one friend who he’s talked to about me in a more extensive manner.

3. Found out he might be moving to another state in one or two years for a contractor job. Most likely for 6 months, and most likely not a permanent position, and might be coming back to our state anyway, so it’s probably temporary from the sounds of things. Nothing’s confirmed or offical, but I’m a bit worried as he can’t seem to do long distance but maybe that will change in the future lol, but we should probably focus on whether we’ll even make it for another 1-2 years LMAO. But yeah. I did think “What if I get hurt and we break up when that happens? That means all the time I’ve invested would have gone to waste. Maybe I should end things now and cut my losses?” BUT HEAR ME OUT, I also realise that would be very premature and a little stupid to do as again, nothing is set in stone yet and plans could very well change. At first when I asked him if we’d be okay if that happens, he didn’t really have an answer, but we talked a bit more about it and ended up agreeing we could probably work something out in order for us to manage if it ever happens. It could work, so I wouldn’t want to break things off early for no reason. So yeAH. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

4. Hopped on a Discord call with his friends for like 10 minutes then hopped off. He’s currently gaming right now as we speak lolol, I’m here laying in his bed on my phone typing this post skikdkd

[hailieshapedbox]

ohhhh i just realized why i have no desire to sleep even though i in fact am getting tired🤪 my cousin was in psychosis for two weeks on coke off meds and two days ago he took a turn and directed all of his pain and anger at me n was talking shit about me saying vile things (mostly about being lesbian) till 4 am two days ago and till 6am last night. walking in the living room where i was juggling a knife and scraping it on our roomates doors, throwing n stabbing oranges around the house till he got 5250’d in the morning. i hope hes having an alright time in there he really needs help and hopefully rehab and hopefully he finally wants the change that he might not know he needs and actually does want. ya had to vent it out guys thx for reading my run on sentence, im actually tryna lead into a better, personal topic and this plays a part on it so i started there. i uh started recovery in AA 3 days ago and im so fucking happy to finally want to take my life back fully into my own hands and have the drive and ambition that i got easily with alcohol (fucking cop out). ik how this sounds to some people, i went to AA and NA for fun when i was in a grouphome at 17 bc it was another way for us to get off the campus and hangout with the other houses (they called them cottages🏡🕯️🎍☺️). so im very comfortable in that environment, it wasn’t an entirely new concept or energy to me, its been about ten years, but this is my first time coming with a severe desire to change and take back my life into my own hands. ya i had drank in highschool (fuckinn middle school too) but i dont think i ever had to drink and drink and drink till i passout and not be able to stop until im blacked out. that didnt happen till i was 23 in such a chaotic livlihood i couldnt stand any part of my reality, work, home, abusive relationship, i couldnt breathe but i could drink. to the point i was delivering weed from the dispensary drunk. it happened again over the summer for all of the same reasons but this time i had come back to my cousins house to get on my feet and ultimately ended up helping everyone else and their businesses and livlihood more than my own and i was drained out, favor not returned gang. i thought i was gonna stop drinking at the end of summer and i did a few times, a week, two a month but the binges were bad and i was in a lot of dangerous situations recently. everytime i thought i was ready, someone would give me a reason to catch a nice break from the chaos circus life, n who would say no to what sounds like bliss? the last time i drank i didnt even want to, i didnt even wanna go out shit, friend called me crying for help, by the end of the night i needed a relief drink joined got physically hurt (7 minor injuries but some are mid😭), stranded they took off w my phone and wallet in my bag, no sweater at 4am upset in a parking lot not tryna take three hour walk home. a ride from a nice lady w a sketchy guy judging me. how the fuck did it happen again, how easy couldve i prevented this. i had already reached out to a well versed friend that i need to get sober, she said she’d be around in a couple days n we would go. i told her again the next day i needed it even more now and we went that night, which she was wanting to bc she liked that specific meeting. well gang that specific meeting is always gonna be the story to the start of my meeting. i immediately got picked to lead and read through out the meeting on a little stage in front of everyone with the key speaker. as i expected haha, never heard of a lottery meeting like that. i made a home that night, i kept eveyones lottery ticket from the raffle that i picked (and the three left over), i hadnt felt so much support in years, and all at once and a whole room full of people.

i know im only three days in but ive been waiting my whole life to be here.

[alba8688]

Love hurts

Word count :3524

This morning I woke earlier than usual leaving Eddie asleep in the bed. I left him a note saying I had some stuff to do before heading to work .

But in reality I wasn’t going to do anything work related .i was actually headed to the only bakery here in Hawkins. Hopefully they will be able to make me a cake for Eddie for tonight .I was also hoping I wasn’t too late to order him a cake .

I open the door to the bakery and I walk in crossing my fingers praying that they would be able to make it .for today.

"Good morning ." A cheerful old lady greets me

I was barely functioning right now and the lady was so cheerful so early in the morning it was 6am .

"Good Morning I needed a cake for tonight ,I needed this design." I show the picture of the kind of cake I want ,I had taken a picture of Eddie's hellfire shirt before coming over today .

I was really hoping he would like it,and not throw it in my face ,but Eddie wouldn't do that. He might look mean but he is nothing but a big teddy bear .

Plus I Wasn't gonna do anything big, just something small for him and me in my apartment .

I talk to Dustin Yesterday night before going to bed about Eddie's birthday ,Eddie was showering so I had the chance to talk to Dustin for him to give me some ideas .But instead of getting any ideas I found  out Eddie doesn't like celebrating his birthday .Dustin told me Eddie doesn't like to celebrate his birthday and know-one is allowed to give him a gift because he feels that his birth shouldn't be celebrated because of him being born his mother died and his father blame it on him all his life until his father was sent to jail for some drug related things and that's how he ended with Wayne.

Dustin also told me that Eddie told him all of this one night he got really drunk during the summer when he had first met Dustin.So Dustin trusted on me by telling me all of this and I wasn’t planning to tell Eddie but I also wanted to make him a small dinner just at home him and me nothing big I mean that wasn’t nothing bad was it ?

The nice old lady at the bakery said she was able to do the cake today mostly because she had finished all the orders for the day and it would be ready after I got out of work  .And for that I was grateful I even told her I pay her extra for doing the cake for today .She said no but I was still paying her a little bit more .

So After the bakery I headed to the guitar store that was nearby the bakery shop . They open at 7am and I decided to wait in my car till they open .

"Ding "I heard my phone ring and like I had the phone in my hand already I saw that it was Eddie .

Shit why is he awake so early ??

I open the message to write back but I was nervous so damn nervous .

E:"Sweetheart where are you ?"

What the fuck do I respond ?

D:"I had to run some errands baby see you at school okay love you ."

.......💭

E:"I miss You ,you weren't in bed when I woke up  🥲now I'm sad😔"

D:"Ed's I gave you a kiss before I left ,but you were asleep and snoring loudly jejeje ."

......💭

E:"I DON'T SNORE!!!! 😮"

D:"I should récord you one of these days, baby ."

......💭

E:"You fart when you’re asleep and I don't say anything 🤨😷"

D:" what ?!?!  Liar !!! ."

.....💭

E:"But I still love you princess stinky 😷."

D:"Goodbye Edward 😡 and I don’t fart "

.....💭

E:"ok Danielle !!!"

D:"I'm sweetheart to you, not DANIELLE !!!"

.....💭

E:"Well I'm Ed's or baby to you !!! "

D:"ahhhh I hate you !!"

....💭

E:"no ,you don't hahaha,you can't live without me and you know it ."

D:"Fuck you."

......💭

E:"I did last night 😉 "

Cocky bastard I'm not answering him back. He thinks I can't be without him. Well that's true I don't know what I'll do without him but I'm not telling him that because he is gonna get all cocky about it and it's gonna get all over his head .

So I will not be answering his texts anymore even when they kept coming I ignore him and just waited for the guitar store to open .Even when he started calling me I ignore it and put my phone on silence .

As soon as they opened I went in and bought some guitar picks of different colors for Eddie .Then I headed to a different store to get him one of his  birthday presents and I was hoping he would like it as much as I did .

I hurried back to school before my first period started so I could leave Eddie's gift on his desk without him knowing I put it there .

When I arrived i try my best not to stop and chit chat to any of my students who would usually stop me to say hi to me on the halls I wasn’t trying to be rude ,But I needed to be the first one in class before Eddie .So first I headed to the office to clock in and like always Mrs.Lopez the secretary in the front office always compliments my outfits she is a nice old lady,I think she is the only one that I talk to here in school I don't really talk to anyone else but her.

After clocking in I got out of the office and The halls were already full of Students and on the far end I spotted Eddie in his locker talking to Gareth. I try to blend in with the rest of the students so he wouldn't see me .

But trying to walk with these heels was hard ,I can already hear Eddie "babe why do you wear those  shoes !!!" "Wear something more comfortable." "You know you're clumsy as it is."

"Good-morning Miss.Henderson." Someone behind me says I turn around to see Jason with the biggest smile from ear to ear .

Jesus Christ what does he want?

Act polite Danielle just act polite .

I put a fake smile on my face and did my best polite voice .

"Good-morning Jasón ." I say politely 

"Hi." Was all he says and turns around and walks away

What a Weird boy.

I continued on my way to my classroom and the closer I got the faster I walked passing everyone .

"Mission accomplished." I whisper when I got to my classroom and hurry to open the door to my class before anyone else got here .I place the small gift box with the picks inside wrapped in black wrapping paper  and set it on  top of Eddie's desk with a bottle of Yoo-hoo with a small happy birthday card.

When I was satisfied with how I arranged the gift I went back to my desk to get my papers out for today's lesson. As the time went by I lost track of time writing down in the board today's lesson which was "The Great Depression ."

As soon as the tardy bell rang I put down my marker and faced the class and noticed that Eddie still wasn't here .

"Good-morning everyone " I smile at the class then the door to the classroom opens and Eddie walks in with a big toothy grin giving me a flower .

"Sorry I was late Miss.Henderson I was handpicking this flower for you from the school garden ." He says handing me the rose .

Jesus Christ he is so cheesy….

"Thank you Edward ,you can take your seat ." I smile looking down at the flower .I looked down feeling my cheeks turn red as a damn tomato.But was taken out of my trance by someone saying.”Freak ."and the whole class starts laughing like idiots.

"Hey, it is not nice calling people that." I snap at whoever said that .No matter who it was I didn’t like people bringing other people down .

"Teacher's pet freak." I heard Jason whisper.

"Jason!" I raised my voice and Jason panic.I have never raised my voice at my students before but one thing I hate is bullying "I'm sorry ." He says softly blushing slouching back in his seat.

I tried my best to control

Myself and try to calm down so I close my eyes and turn around to face the board and started with the lesson.

"Ok class today we will be talking about the Great Depression,what can anybody tell me about it ." I ask turning around to face the class and looking around to see who would answer and I notice Eddie opening the gift then he lifts up his head and looks at me giving me a smile .

Fucking smile I love that smile and those damn dimples ..

But I need to have self control and control myself because I’m supposed to be a teacher not another student here I need to act professional but with Eddie is so hard sometimes.

"So Knowone then ,ok then, "I went back to the white board where I had written some facts about the Great Depression that the class needed to write as soon as they walked in but I didn't notice anyone take out their paper and pen, only Eddie and Robin ."so I'm guessing everyone finish writing the notes." I say erasing everything from the white board I hated being a mean teacher but I hated more that they didn't take the class seriously .They tend to ignore thinking because I’m a young teacher I’m going to be nice to them and passed them but that’s not how it is .

I turned to face the class and sat on my desk and started giving them some facts about the Great Depression "The Great Depression (1929–1939) was an economic shock that impacted most countries across the world. It was a period of economic depression that became evident after a major fall in stock prices in the United States.The economic contagion began around September and led to the Wall Street stock market crash of October 24 (Black Thursday). It was the longest, deepest, and most widespread depression of the 20th century.."

I started teaching my class but kept my eyes on Eddie whose eyes were glued to me and wouldn’t look anywhere else .Even when I wasn't looking at him I could feel him staring at me .And that’s how it went the whole class with Eddies eyes on me .It was hard not to stared at him but I try my best and survived that class.

During my lunch period I decided to go to the mall. I didn't tell Eddie because I knew he would want to come with me so instead I took Dustin with me.I convinced him by telling him that I was buying him a burger ,fries and a milkshake.

"So what are we doing here ?" He asks with his mouth full of food .

I could literally see the food he was chewing. I know he was doing it on purpose.

"I'm buying Eddie a birthday gift ,you know how he has that pick necklace ." I tell Dustin and he nods "well I saw this really nice necklace at the jewelry store for his guitar pick ."

Dustin's eyes widened when I said to the jewelry store"how much is the necklace ?" He ask

"It doesn't matter how much it is but I need you to tell me if he would like it ." I ask nervously

"Ok let's go ." He stands up throwing his trash away only bringing his milkshake with him.I look at him and hated that he was able to eat without feeling nauseous or without puking because lately that’s all I’ve been doing except for Today.

Today was the first time since I came back from New York I was able to eat something without puking it and I was proud  maybe I did have some kind of bug .

But then I felt as I was realizing that I was able to take in the food ,my stomach started to feel weird .I shouldn't have thought anything, maybe it would just go away while we walk.

Maybe I ate too much.

So I ignore that feeling and headed to the to the jewelry store to look at all of the necklaces until I found the one I had like it was a silver one. It was beautiful. It was white gold .

"HOLY SHIT!!! That's expensive !!!" Dustin shouts making a  bunch of people turn our way "Dustin language ?!" I whispered, "That's expensive Eddie is not gonna accept that ." He tells me by pointing at the necklace behind the glass counter  "why not?" I ask nervously "I mean he is gonna love it but he doesn't like expensive gifts ."

"But we won't tell him are we ?" I turn to look at Dustin "Or I won't take you on a vacation on spring break ." I leaned in closer to  him threatening him "fine I won't say anything ." He finally says slurping on his milkshake .

So I ended up buying the necklace for Eddie and headed to the food court to buy Eddie something to eat.Hopefully we make it on time before his lunch is over.

Well now that I remember he has a free period after lunch so he will be able to eat.

I decided to buy him a double cheeseburger with Fries and Dr.pepper cause I know how that man loves his Dr.pepper but not as much as he loves his Yoo-hoo.

So Right before we were gonna leave, Dustin decided that we should buy milk shakes for Lucas ,Mike and Will, which I can't deny to my little brother even though he was annoying as hell. I would do anything for him .

When we arrived at school we got just time before lunch ended and I headed to the cafeteria with Dustin to help him with the milkshakes and Eddie's food ,we ended up buying milkshakes for Gareth and Jeff as well.

So our hands were full ,when we walked in the cafeteria Eddie turned and saw us walk in and got up running our way to help with the milk shakes .

My man always the gentleman..

"Let me help you ." He says softly, taking the tray of milkshakes "Thank you Eddie ." I tell him nicely"Thank You Eddie ." My little brother says in a high voice mocking me .

"Shut up you dingus ." I smack the back of his head slightly

"Ouch!!" He winced walking away from us flipping me off.

"Hey ,Miss.Henderson "one of my students said while I passed their table.

"Hi." I wave back at them .

"Hi ,Miss.Henderson ." Jason stops in-front of me, giving me a Hershey chocolate.

"Thank you Jasón ." I smile politely

"I heard that's your favorite chocolate and I thought it would be nice to get it for you ." He says blushing ,Jesus Christ don't  tell me he has a crush on me !!!

Someone clears their throat next to me and guess who it was ? If you Guess Eddie yeah indeed it was

"Well shit someone has a crush ." Eddie lets out a sarcastic chuckle

"What?" Jason stood there standing looking like a tomato, his cheeks blushing pink .

"Just messing with you Carver ." Eddie laughs in Jason's face making him flinch.

For the first time ever Jason didn't say anything back. I was actually surprised thinking a fight was gonna start but it didn't .Eddie just walked away and headed to the Hellfire Table with the rest of the boys handing them their milkshakes .

I excuse myself from Jason and walk to the table handing Eddie the bag of Food ."Dustin made me buy you this ."I lied he didn't I was the one who bought it for Eddie cause I know how much he loves those burgers but I wasn't gonna say that in front of the whole cafeteria .

"We'll have a nice lunch guys ." I turn around to walk away but someone grabs my hand and spins me around .

"Eddie !!" I said softly, catching me off guard.

"Thank you for the guitar picks and the Yoo-hoo." He tells me giving me a smirk

"No problem,j-just a-a little "gulp" something ." I stutter with my words. I don't even know why I was stuttering if it was Eddie or it was probably the way he was looking at me right now with those brown chocolate eyes that were making me weak on my knees.

Or the fact that we were in school and he was holding my hand in the cafeteria.Which brought me back to reality janking  my hand out of his grasp .

"I'm sorry ." I mouthed and he just nodded and went back to his table .

As soon as school was over I didn't even bother staying today. I grabbed all my stuff and headed to my car to go pick up the cake for Eddie .

Before leaving I asked Dustin if he needed a ride but he said he was going to Mike's house and Nancy was giving him a ride .

So I guess that left me to go to pick up the cake and head home to decorate for when Eddie gets home .

On my way home I protected the cake with my life and even put the seatbelt on it so I wouldn't  tilt or something I know myself .

I really hope he did like the cake and hoping he didn't get mad at me for surprising him like this .

My nerves were killing me honestly .

I was prepared for the worse

When I arrived home I noticed my door was unlocked even though Eddie had told me he had locked it before leaving this morning .

Or was he here already ..

"Please don't be Here .please don't be Here "i said on my head

I grabbed the doorknob and turned it to open the door and to my surprise it wasn't Eddie but in fact Dustin and Gareth.They had decorated with red and black balloons they were everywhere in the apartment .

Everything looked so beautiful .

"Guys these is so beautiful." I tell them my eyes scanning all round the apartment .

"Well ,we wanted to surprise Eddie if that's ok with you ." Dustin tells me battling his eyelashes

"Well I don't mind, I had actually gotten him a cake for you guys to celebrate with him ." I placed the cake on the table and opened the white box to show it to them .

"Holy shit Dani!!" Dustin gasped "language Dustin." I said sternly

"That's the hellfire logo ." Gareth said

"Yup ,I had it done today ." I tell them

Looking at the cake proudly ..

“Eddie is going to love it!!” Dustin jumped up and down excitedly..

I was hoping Eddie had the same reaction well

At least for him to be as happy Dustin was .

"Thank you so much guys I really appreciate you helping out. I was in a hurry to get here on time before Eddie got here ."

"No problem sis ,but you owe me big time ." Dustin picks up his Thinking cap putting it on his head on his way out grabbing  his backpack .

"We also left some gifts for Eddie ."Gareth points to the stack of gifts in the corner

"Thank you so much guys, you guys are the best ." I went to hug Dustin goodbye and he  hugged me back "love you sis ,tell us if he gets mad ."

Jesus Christ I really was hoping he doesn't .

"Bye we leave before he gets here !!" Gareth shouted from the door and both of them left, leaving me here with nothing to do .

"I'll guess I'll order Chinese to eat ." I tell myself

After ordering our food I went to take a shower ,I still had some time. I guess Eddie usually gets here around 4 but today he said he was stopping at Wayne's after school but he didn't tell me why .

But I kind of figured out why.I didn't bother asking him, I just told him I'll wait till he got home .

....:

2hrs later

So here I was just In my towel looking through my closet I didn't know what to wear ,I didn't want to scare Eddie either dressing all fancy .

"Hmmm." I scanned around until I found one of Eddie's hellfire shirts and put it on without panties and no bra for easier access for Eddie .

I was gonna blow dry my hair but I decided to let it dry by itself.

"Baby I'm ....Holy shit !!" I heard Eddie's voice from the living room .

"Shit ,shit ,shit !!" I ran to open the door to my room and outside to the living room where Eddie was standing looking at the balloons with wide eyes .

"Happy birthday baby ." I got on my tiptoes and pecked his lips ......

Next chapter

[dimpledpran]

8 Shows to Get to Know Me

I was tagged by the lovely @talays-portkey and @i-got-the-feels​ !

1. Ghost Whisperer (2005-2010) I think this was the first show that i actually tried to watch as it was airing. I still remember waiting for 10pm every Friday, whether everyone else was awake or not. I think I watched all the way from Season 1-4, until it stopped airing on our local channel. 

2. Glee (2009-2015)  Honestly this was my introduction to the English music scene. I did not grow up listening to English songs, so my initial playlist was basically Disney Channel artists and Glee covers. As a music lover, I just enjoyed listening to their takes of the songs. I think I stopped watching somewhere during Season 3, and only did the Cory tribute episode after that.

3. Teen Wolf (2011-2017)  This was the first show that I started reading fanfics for. Well I started reading before I watched it, but Sterek stole my heart. I was very into the series, to the point that I watched Season 3B in one night because I had to find out what happened. Dumb me thought it was a good idea to start a new season at 8pm at night. I stayed up through the night, and texted my friend at 6am to yell about the whole thing. And they replied that it is too early to be awake to scream about it. “What do you mean wake up and watch it. I haven’t slept yet” So yeah. Stiles is my baby, and I will protect him with my life.

4. The Untamed (2019)  My friend recommended this to a few of us during covid lockdown, and I am very glad she did. It really opened me up to a whole new world. This show had such a grip on me. To the point that I started a new side blog for it, and learnt how to make edits for it. I got to know so many incredible people through the network cos of this show. It was such a brilliant show! The plot is so intricate! It has angst and heartache and amazing costumes and stunning sets and a cast who honestly killed it. Definitely a show that I would recommend to everyone. 

5. Bad Buddy (2021-2022)  Obviously I can’t go without talking about BB here. Have you seen my blog URL? Till BB, I never watched a show as it was airing. I usually wait for it to end and then binge, or start watching it just in time for the finale. But I kept seeing gifs on tumblr and it made me want to check it out. And boy am I glad I did it. It was such a fun experience to watch it live and scream on a weekly basis. For some reason the hold that this show has on me seems to be lifelong? I have no complaints though. I am still enjoying all the BB brainrot. Pran is my baby. I have never related to a character as much as I relate to him. He is so precious to me. And this show just blends angst with humour and a touch of reality so well. I am making it my personal mission to read through every Patpran fic on AO3. This show made me want to try writing. I cannot explain how much this show means to me. A definite must-watch as well!

6. Arivaan (2019-2020)  So my sister told me that this is my kind of show and made me watch it. I started it while she was halfway through, and finished it way before her. It was right up my alley. The whole premise is about trying to identify a serial killer who has been murdering women, and leaves an origami paper crane behind. There is a police officer who manages to find these clues and tries to identify him, but the killer disappears and due to personal issues he end up leaving the force. Years later the killer is back and he somehow gets roped into it again, but his partner is now leading the case, and is finding out things that he doesn’t really want to. And I really enjoyed the way it was taken, and the I am really hoping that there will be a Season 2 for this. 

7. Paava Kadhaigal (2020)  Honestly no show has made me as mad as this has, and that is totally the point. (Although I am totally gonna be ignoring the second episode. That does not exist to me) It is an anthrological series, with 4 3 episodes touching on different hard topics/issues prevalent in society. The way it was taken , the music, THE CAST, EVERYTHING WAS BRILLIANT!! I had to pause it and just scream on twitter to release all the frustration that this brought up. Which means it really did its job well. I have not watched this series  since the first time, but trust me when I say I remember every detail because it has such a lasting impact. Especially the first and the last. I was bawling.  NOTE: This can be very highly triggering, so please do check out the synopsis before you watch it. Or feel free to hit me up with any questions, or just scream about it if you do check it out. 

8. 3 Will Be Free (2019)  Insane plot with amazing characters with so much depth. Loved that each character was so complex. There is no character that is purely good or bad, like it was so real, and you feel for them all equally. This really set a standard that no other show has reached so far. I need another series like this. And of course anyone who put Tay Tawan in funky suits gets a plus from me. Also more female characters need to have guns!!

Honorary Mentions: Mindhunter: This would have been number 8, if it wasnt cancelled!! The casting directors for this deserve all the bonuses for how creepily identical the actors look to the actual serial killers! It was so interesting to try and get into the head of the serial killers and understand why they did what they did. LOVED IT!!! Until We Meet Again: This used to be my favourite BL series until Bad Buddy took over. I loved Fluke’s effortless acting. He is brilliant. And I love the whole concept of reincarnation and finding you soulmate. And this did it so well with the angst and touch of humour and romance. And of course TeamWin stole my heart. 

Theory Of Love: Honestly, wasn’t that much of a fan the first time I watched it. But the redemption arc is so goood, that I felt so much for Khai the second time I watched it. That train station scene just lives in my head. So for rewatch factor, this deserves a honorary mention.

The Good Place, Word Of Honor, We Best Love, Stranger Things, RE:Mind

Tagging: @highwarlockkareena , @eohachu , @markpakin , @fangrui , @fuujiikaze , @gege @seawherethesunsets @gaiamochi (no pressure)

[blueempty]

Let's pretend it isnt 6am on the 21st when I'm posting this okay the date is 11/20/23

I been gettin home at 3am hehe. But my executive didn't disfunction as much at work today and I felt really productive for the first time in a while. I had to do the same two tests that kept me there till 2am last night but they were in more obnoxious containers this time. But it was kinda nice to do something different. Plus like, for this test I have to run the samples through a sonicator for 10 minutes, which is exactly what it sounds like it blasts sound through a bucket of water to vibrate the samples and it does something, but the point is the sound it makes is crazy high pitched and painful. And it has a lid but the jars we usually use are slightly too tall so the lid just barely doesn't fit. But today I was doing the test with big plastic bags so they all smushed in there real good and the lid went on correctly and you almost couldn't hear it. It was great

I alsooooo finished my succubus conjurer run of Barony on switch and I had the full set of legendary gear and almost every spell in the game it felt like, so I basically steamrolled the final bosses. I did a little experimenting during that run and now I've seen every part of the game except the alternate boss in the middle which I would rather go into with other people cuz it's a lot. Im having a conundrum now though because I really love Arcane Mark, which is a spell Incubus starts with, but I just dont really like Incubus. I love skeleton, vampire, succubus, and insectoid. Even goblin is a lot of fun. But I just dont really vibe with the look or sound of the incubus idk. I may just have to deal with it in the future

Lastly I backed out of plans with some friends earlier which was really sucky to have to do, but I wasn't too scared cuz my friend who invited me is a psych person so I knew she would understand, and I basically just told her straight up my brain has been a disaster and I dont think I can drive 3 hours and be social with people I dont know right now. Especially with me not having the new covid vaccine yet which I need to take care of. But yeah my Thanksgiving plans are now sit at home alone and maybe try to work on hiragana and guitar perhaps

Peace and Long Life

[footygirl114]

Abogada (Ona Batlle x Reader)

For everyone wanting Ona, this one was based off this prompt “Its okay to cry, you know” but it took a life of its own. Easily the longest thing I have written yet. 

You were known as the Ice Queen to your peers. You knew it was a persona you adopted in order to ensure you were taken seriously as a women in a mans world. It sucked though, to keep up that persona also affected your personal life. Moving to Manchester for work and where you had no friends or family was hard enough. 

You spent most days at the office putting in work to ensure you were the best attorney in your firm. Working weekends and late night was hard, but you kept telling your self it would be worth it in the end. The satisfaction of being the only female partner at the firm would be enough to make the life you're living worth it. 

It was a lonely existence but you figured you were destined to be alone and embraced it. You grew up in a wild house hold with 4 older brothers, and then when they started having kids you became the favourite aunt. You visited home less often than you liked, but you kept up with your family regularly. It made your nights at home less lonely. 

The one bright spot of your days was when you would be coming back from an early morning run along the river, you would always run into your cute neighbour on her way out for her run. The first few times you’d run into her she’d always give you a bright smile and a wave. She had so much energy for 6am but it always brightened your mornings. 

It took you weeks to work up the courage to have an actual conversation with her. You may be able to be the Ice Queen at work, but when it came to a cute girl you were always a blubbering mess. When you finally managed to speak to her in the mornings you would learn little things about her every day. 

The first day you learnt she was from Spain and was here to play Football. You never even got her name till the fourth morning of small talk. You couldn’t believe how not cool you were. You also learned that she lived right next door to you, but your schedules were so different you never saw her other than in the mornings. 

The first time you saw her outside of your morning runs she was heading out on the town and you were just coming home from a long tiring day at the office. You had walked into the lobby and stopped dead in your tracks. You knew she saw you staring but you couldn’t help it, she was gorgeous in a little black dress with her hair down and flowing. 

“Y/N! Hola, cómo estás?” she asked you as she approached you, or the exit door you weren’t sure a women who looks like that was actually talking to you. 

“Hi Ona, Long day, looking forward to a beer and my pjs” you tell her with a blush on your cheeks. 

She shakes her head and says “You could come out with me and my friends?”

At this you shake your head “thanks for the offer, but I have to be at the office early again tomorrow” 

“Saturdays, shouldn’t be for work Y/N” she tells you with a small smile, “anyway my friends are here, I should go. Hope your evening is better than the day” she tells you as she runs off to the waiting car. 

You shake your head at how adorable she was. You know you have the biggest crush on her but it was never going to go anywhere as she was way out of your league. 

Little did you know when Ona got into the waiting cab she was interrogated by her friends 

“who was the smoking hot boss babe in that suit?” asks Ivana. 

Ona blushes and responds “My neighbour”

“Wait you mean the neighbour you have been flirting with for months?” asks Lucy with a shake of her head “who knew she was such a babe! You never told us she was smoking hot”

Ona blushes deeper at this but before she can respond Ivana jumps in and says “have you seriously not asked her out yet?” 

“she’s shy, it's like she’s always second guessing her self. I think she almost combusted when she saw me in this dress, I need to give her some time before asking her out” Ona tells them with a blush. She hasn’t been able to get the thought of you in that power suit out of her head. She knew you were fit and gorgeous in your running gear, but seeing you in a suit made Ona even more into you. 

“Im working on it okay” she tells her friends with an air of finality. 

***

You spend the next few weeks in the same routines, only saying hi to Ona in the mornings. You did notice her strike up more conversations in the mornings but sometimes before coffee you just aren’t very receptive to her flirting. 

Its a Sunday afternoon, you had left work early and stopped at the market on your way home. You are carrying a few bags of fresh fruit and veggies making your walk home when you feel someone fall into step beside you. You look over and notice Ona in her Man United tracksuit walking beside you. 

“Hola Y/N, let me help you” she says as she grabs a couple bags off your hands. 

You blush but say “thanks, where are you coming from?”

“Just got back from and away game in London” she tells you as you both continue to walk back to your building. “I saw you walking and thought we could walk back together” 

You look over at her and ask “How did the game go?” 

She smiles at this and says “We won! We finally beat Arsenal 2-1” you can tell she’s excited as she’s practically vibrating. 

“Congratulations” you tell her, at this point you both have reached your building. She steps forwards and makes a show of opening the door for you. You blush at this and quietly say “thank you” 

“Were you at work today?” she asks you as you wait for the elevator. 

You look over at her and tell her “Yes”

She shakes her head and says “Do you ever take a break?” 

You start to feel your defences go up as you know she wouldn’t understand, before you can say anything the elevator doors open and you both step in. 

“You know, I think this look on you is my favourite, the casual dressed down on a Sunday look” she tells you as the elevator doors open and she steps off towards your doors. 

You blush at the compliment and walk up to your door, you unlock it and realise she’s still standing at your door. She looks at you with a smirk and a raise of her eyebrow when you remember she’s carrying some of your bags. 

“Im sorry, thank you for the help” you say as you reach for the bags. 

She steps towards you and presses a kiss to your reddened cheeks and says “Anytime, by the way my team looks good on you” as she touches the brim of your ball cap and spins towards her door. 

You stand there remembering you had bought a United hat when you moved here and tended to wear it out. You just blush and can feel your cheek tingling where she kissed it. 

***

Over the course of the next few weeks, Ona turns the flirting up a notch and you are left a blushing mess after many of your interactions. You started to feel lighter during the days too, it was like she was causing some of your iciness to thaw. 

It was during one of those days where things went south for you. You had started the day in great mood, Ona was waiting for you when you rounded the corner from your run, but instead of being in running gear she was in her warm ups with 2 coffee cups in her hands. She told you she had to go an early morning session but she wanted to bring you a coffee first. 

She was adorable, and you left that interaction with a spring in your step and a tingling cheek as she kissed your cheek when she left. You walked into the office in a good mood when you were called into a meeting with your peers. 

You hoped this was the chance you have been waiting for. There was a Partner position open and you really hoped your hard work paid off for it. 

It didn’t. You were devastated, the partner spot was given to one of the other partners nephews who barley had any experience and never put in any extra hours. You felt defeated but you wanted to know why, you demanded a meeting with your boss. 

You were in his office, where you were supposed that he was there and the managing partner who handled all the hires and promotions, but also all the firings. You knew this wasn’t a good thing. 

“Y/N, we know you think you're ready for the partnership but we do not think you are.” Your boss tells you. 

You are floored at this and ask “how am I not ready? I put in the most hours, and have the highest winning percentage of all your attorneys?” 

He takes a minute and respond “We just don’t think you are management material.” 

You know exactly where this is going, you channel your inner ice queen and respond “No its because Im a women, isn’t it?”

“No we have nothing against women at this company” he tells you. 

“Oh you value all the women you have as secretaries. Or is it because Im gay and won’t sleep with you I won’t make it as a partner at this company” you ask them. 

You can tell you’ve pissed him off “I don’t know where you get off saying that but you need to understand that you will never be better than the men at this company” 

You stand at that and say “No, you will never have the same winning percentage you have now, because you will never find another LAWYER as good as me” you emphasise the lawyer part. “We are all lawyers, here we are not our genders. On that note, if you cant tell I quit. Also you will be hearing from my lawyers for the compensation from the sexist and homophobic atmosphere in this office” you turn and walk out his office slamming the door behind you. 

 You stop briefly at your desk and grab your few personal belongings, since they didn’t approve of families you had no pictures or knickknacks here. You grab your stuff and head out back to your apartment. 

You get there and go to grab your keys only to realise you don’t have them. You cant remember if you brought them this morning, or if you left them on your desk. Either way you text your landlord to see where he is and he’s a few hours away before he can let you in. You slide down on to the floor leaning on your door, and place the box with your stuff beside you. You let her head hang between your knees and think about what you just did. 

***

Its about an hour later you think as you lost track of time, when you hear footsteps coming down the hallway. You don’t bother to look up as you're not sure you can face anyone right now. You hear a bag drop then feel a body settle beside you. You can tell immediately its Ona, her smell being so uniquely her. 

You both sit there in silence for a few minutes when you finally say “I locked myself out” 

She chuckles and says “I figured, but I also thought you just wanted to hang out in the hallway” 

You slightly laugh but it turns into a small sob, you suck the sob back not wanting her to see you cry. 

“Hey hey, Its okay to cry you know” she says as she scoots towards you and places her hand on your back. 

Its at feeling her comfort that you break down, you feel the tears running down your cheeks, and you turn and lay your head on her shoulder for comfort. 

She spends the next while rubbing your back and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. 

When you finally calm down you remain in the same position not able to meet her eyes. She reaches over with her other hand and grabs yours and squeezes and says “Come on, let's go into my place, it’ll be more comfortable than the floor. And I have wine” she says with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

You crack a smile at her silliness but allow her to pull you to your feet, she grabs your box of things, and her bag and leads you into her apartment. You follow her numbly as you don’t know how you ended up here today. 

She forces you to sit on her couch, she then pours you a glass of wine and places it on the coffee table in front of you. She settles on the couch beside you, close enough to touch but not too close to you, you hate the space after the comfort of he hug. 

You look over at her and go to start talking. 

She reaches over places her hand on your arm and shakes her head “You don’t have to tell me, we can sit here and watch a movie, or I can tell you stories to distract you.” 

You look into her eyes and decide you want to open up to her. “I quit my job today” 

She grabs both your hands at this and squeezes and says “I’m sorry”

You shake your head and respond “It was the best thing for me. They didn’t appreciate me, they also were sexist and homophobic. Why did I ever think that I could change the way the men think about women by working more and harder than them” 

She looks over at you and says “Well then Im proud of you for standing up to them” 

“I should have done it along time ago” you tell her with a shake of your head. 

“Hey, there’s no point in dwelling in the past, we all have regrets. Why worry about what we could or should have done. We have where we are right now and the future to change those” she tells you honestly. 

You stare at her as she says this and you say “I don’t want to have another regret today, so I am going to be brave and tell you something I should have a long time ago.” 

She looks at you confused but nods her head letting you continue. 

You place your hand on her cheek, and guide her head towards you. You place a kiss on her cheek and pull back slightly and say “every time you kiss my cheek you leave it tingling, and I wanted to know if you felt it to” 

She places her hand on your cheek that she always kisses and caresses it softly as she says “That’s why I kept kissing it, I could feel the tingles too” 

At this you pull her towards you and press your lips to hers. She responds eagerly and deepens the kiss immediately. You can now feel the tingles all over your body. 

After a few moments you both pull back, she places her hand on the back of your neck and places her forehead on yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for awhile” she tells you with a blush. 

“Me too, but Im glad it waited till I got out of that toxic environment. Im not sure I would have given in to you before then” you tell her honestly. 

She looks deep into your eyes and says “Im glad you waited then, but let's not wait that long again.” as she pulls you into another deep kiss. 

Your phone ringing breaks the kiss, and you see your landlord calling. You pick up and he’s here with the key to open your door. You meet him and get that settled, thanking god that your keys are on your counter and you don’t have to go back to the office for them. 

You poke your head back in Ona’s apartment when you're done to grab your stuff. You notice her packing up a travel bag. You walk up and ask “did I freak you out so much you are running away already?”

She turns and smiles and says “no hermosa, Im off to Spain early tomorrow for training camp”

You blush at the term of endearment, but say “How did I not know how good of a player you are, you play for your national team too?” 

She blushes and answers “Si, but Im going to miss you”

“We can text and FaceTime, some space will keep me from jumping your bones while Im still figuring out my work stuff” you tell her with a blush. 

She steps closer and places her hands on your hips “You know you can call me at anytime to talk, Im here for you even when I'm not physically here for you”

You lean in and place a light kiss on her lips and say “thank you, I really like you”

“Me too, can I take you out on a date when I get back?” she asks you. 

You blush and say “I cant wait” you press another deep kiss on her lips and tell her “good night and travel safe” 

“buenas noches, hermosa” she tells you with a wink. 

You head back to your apartment with a smile and the same spring in your step you had that morning, but you are even more sure of your decisions throughout the day, since you now have Ona on your team. 

***

During Ona’s 3 weeks away you have been busy. You reached out to a former mentor of yours who gave you the name of a lawyer in Manchester who would be able to help you. When you go in to meet her to get her thoughts on the employment issue she is on your side 100%. She also offers you a position at her firm, since she had heard of your reputation and she wants you to become a partner at her firm. You are speechless but accept the offer and you have a feeling this firm might be the better option for you. 

You were so excited to tell Ona the news you faceTimed her that night, when you had both decided you’d have time to talk to each other. 

Your phone is ringing waiting for her to pick up, and when it does you not only see the face of the girl in your dreams, but also 3 other faces of her teammates. 

You are surprised but react quickly “Hello Ona and teammates” 

“Hola hermosa, sorry about them, they want to meet the women I wouldn’t shut up about” she blushes as she tells you. 

“Hola, Im Jenni” the one with the dark hair and tattoos tells you. 

The other dark haired one pushes her way in-front and says “Im Leila, you cant be the one our Ona is talking about, you are way better looking then she described” 

You blush at this but before you can respond the last one, the one with the blonde hair speaks up and says “Hi Y/N, Im Mapi and I agree you are way out of Ona’s league” 

Your blush deepens and you hear another voice off screen says “Oi, you perdedoras, Leave Ona alone to speak to her girlfriend” as she says this she comes on screen and whacks all their heads. 

They all blush and say their goodbyes, the new girl introduces her self next “Hola, Im Alexia. If you hurt our Ona here you will have to answer to me” with a stern look. 

“I have no intentions of hurting Ona, she’s been the bright spot in my days for months” You say with a small smile. 

“I like you Y/N, Im sure we will meet soon.” she tells you and turns to Ona and says “I can only occupy them for 20 minutes before they will be back in here, so be quick” she leaves with a wave and you are left with just Ona on your screen. 

“Okay spill it, how did the meeting go today?” Ona asks you. 

You smile at her and say “It was good, You are looking at the newest partner at her firm”

She squeals at this and says with the biggest smile “I am so happy for you Y/N. You deserve to be praised for your work, I cant wait to celebrate you.” 

You blush at her words and ask “Are you planning a second date before we’ve had our first?”

“Who says I can’t celebrate you on our first date” she flirts right back. “I have plans for the Friday when I get back to take you out, so don’t make plans.” 

“I cant wait, but I'll let you get back to your team now” you tell her with a smile. 

You both bid your goodnights and you have trouble sleeping that night in anticipation of your date. 

***

Its Date night, you spend the day organising your following week, as you would be starting at your new firm on Monday. Your new boss has already informed you multiple times that they do not work weekends. You will have to find ways to occupy your weekends, you have a feeling you won’t have trouble with that as Ona will keep you busy. 

Your dressed and waiting for her, she told you that you’d be outside so to dress for the weather. Its supposed to be a warm night so your in dark jeans and a light blouse, with a jacket to throw on  if it gets cold. 

She knocks on the door and you open it to a bouquet of roses hiding her face, she peeks out from behind them and says “Hola hermosa, these are for you” she hand them to you and steps forward placing a kiss on your cheek and whispers in your ear “You look amazing” 

You blush but grab the flowers and turn to the kitchen to put them in a vase, you turn to ask her a question and catch her eyes on your ass. “Hey babe, My eyes are up here” you tell her with a smirk. 

She blushes and responds “What Im just appreciating how well you wear those jeans” 

Now its your turn to blush, and you know you’ll have to get you both out of the apartment before you both decide not to leave. 

You head towards her kiss her cheek, and grab her hand to pull her out the door. You both get to the street and find a cab to take you into the city, she’s being secretive and whispers where to go to the driver. You spend the ride in a comfortable silence. 

You realise the cab has stopped and she has taken you to an outdoor show, there’s a band stand set up in the park, and food trucks surrounding it. It is not too busy but she leads you right over to a specific food truck. She steps right up and talks to the owner who hands her a picnic basket. She takes your hand and lead you to an empty spot off to the side of the stage. 

“One of my teammates told me about this place. The food truck is a Spanish cook I met, he makes the best food that reminds me of home. I had him cook up some Tapas for us to eat while we listen to the bands and watch the stars.” she tells you with a blush. 

You step towards her and place your hands on her hips, you lean in to kiss her lips lightly, then lean towards her ear and say “This is perfect, thank you”

The night is perfect, you spend the night on the picnic blanket. You learn all about her home country through the food and stories of her family. She in turns learns all about your family and how you much you love your brothers and their kids. 

You tell her all about your upbringing, and how you ended up in Manchester. You learn all about her and how she fell in love with football. When the band starts up your food is long gone and you are half way through the wine she brought. She pulls you towards her and you spend the rest of the night cuddled into her side. 

When the night ends and your back at your apartment you invite her in for a drink, you both know where the night is heading and neither of you are wanting to rush it. You settle on your couch with glasses of wine each and continue your conversations. She tells you stories of her United and Spanish teammates. You in turn tell her about your glory days in uni and how crazy law students can party. 

You’ve both finished your glasses when you lean into her and say “I think it's time to make sure neither of us has any more regrets” and you crush your lips to hers. You guide her to lay back on the couch and you get lost in the feelings she ignites in you. 

What might have started because you were desperate for human interaction outside of the misogynistic workplace you were in. Has now turned into the best thing in your life, and you know that she is going to be forever. 

[tutuandscoot]

Hellooooo love, haven't heard from you in a few days, how are you? How is recovery life treating you? ❤️‍🩹 Which vm hug did help you most with feeling better? 😁

Helloooo right back to you lovely

Again thank you so much guys for checking in it means the world 💙

Sorry I’m a few days late on answering this but I’m finally doing it now.

So last Friday I had my second surgery. They came and woke me up at 6am. I had a pretty good nights sleep and probably the least amount of pain I’d had so far. I had to wait in my room in a dodgy hospital gown for about an hour which was super awkward but eventually they came and got me ready. I met the anaesthetist (it was a different one to the first time) and they took me to the waiting bay in the op theatre. The nurses that came to see me (anaesthetist nurses) both times were so lovely. The first surgery I was really nervous and I think they could tell so were super comforting but for this second surgery I wasn’t nervous at all. I was making conversation with everyone which is weird for me coz I tend to be very quiet around new people (I’m a bit anti social). I heard them keep saying that the surgeon wasn’t ready or there yet.. I made some joke to one of the anaesthetic nurses ‘so who wants to have a go with the knife if he doesn’t turn up’.. they thought that was funny. They asked if I wanted to go into the op theatre even tho they weren’t gonna start right away and I said yeh that was fine- they said some people can freak out being awake and alert on the table with everything going on- but since I had just been there a week ago I actually thought it would be cool so see everything going on while still pretty conscious (I may be a freak who knows)..

There weren’t any complications with this second surgery. It took about 5 hours- most of it I was on my side then they flipped me on my tummy to do an anchor screw. So I have 2x 5cm diagonal stitches on my left side. There is a strong tether rope screwed into my L1 and L4 vertebrae that is pulling my curve upright.

(The two white tapes are where the scars are and there is an anchor screw at the base of my spine)

I woke up in recovery this time and just remember feeling super positive. Then they took me to icu and when my mum came in I shouted out “WASSUP” (I was very high) the next few hours I was apparently talking about random af things, I was super fascinated with the nurse bell which was like a light up squishy orb button. Mum said I baciaclly just spoke in one sentence for 3 hours straight. The head of ICU at one point was handing off to my nurse for the night and he said “this is April. She’s very high and very happy” 🤣🫣 I swear I wasn’t that high and I knew what was going on but… idk.. I think my mum took footage of it. Eventually I crashed and my mum left for the night and I just remember repeating ‘I love you mummy’ about 20 times till she finally left 🤦‍♀️

That was the fun bit but in the middle of the night I woke up and was certain I was having a seizure. I had this horrible pain in my rib and it soon started spasming and causing the whole left side of my body to contract and seizure. The nurses kept saying to get me heat packs but I said it feels like I was being electrocuted. There was all these wire sensors stuck to me and there was one right where the pain was starting so I kept trying to rip it off. This lasted like 10 mins straight and I swear I thought my heart was gonna stop beating. I had like 10 people all around me, they went and got the doctor and then a portable X-ray machine. I think maybe they just thought I had woken up after not pressing my morphine button in a while, so anyway I think they injected me with a sedative drug coz eventually I calmed down once they brought in the X-ray machine. After that I just cried and cried. It was really scary and I didn’t know what was happening. Eventually I either fell asleep myself or the drug they gave me put me to sleep.

In the morning i asked what had happened and honestly I don’t think I ever got an answer. It obviously wasn’t anything serious tho. I’m gonna ask the surgeon when I see him for a follow up next week tho because there’s no way that was just ‘nothing’. The day was hard as are most post op days- Off the anaesthetic and having to press the button every 5 mins to keep the pain manageable. This day I had my favourite nurse. She was so lovely and stayed with me a lot of the day coz I was still so rattled by the previous nights episode. I think it made me so scared because of the complications with the first surgery, they said the second went well but then this happened.

I had a nap and when I woke up I was in so much pain I started panicing again. It was just that I hadn’t pressed the button in a while so my nurse came and coached me through breathing and managing the pain till I could administer more again. This surgery was far less invasive than the fusion surgery but caused a lot of pain in a different way. I was very swollen and bloated around my left side so I couldn’t sleep on that side and I also had a lot of stitch kind of pain. At some point this day I managed to go for a walk with the frame tho which they were very impressed with- less that 24 hours post op to be walking.

I think they were discussing whether to take me to the ward or not but I said that if I got a say in the matter I’d rather stay in icu given the incident the night before. I ended up staying in icu but hardly slept at all that night.

The next day I was walking on my own. Showered then later they moved me to the ward.

One of the effects of this surgery (part of which the surgeon warned me about) was pain in my left leg. But I was also getting a lot of pain in both my quads and hip flexors. Being an ex dancer, I’m very aware of my body and the cause and effects of muscles. They were hurting really badly I think because I couldn’t use any of my abs or back muscles to move around- especially sitting and standing. I had to constantly have heat packs on my hips just to take my mind off it coz the pain in that area was almost worse than my back.

That night in the ward was maybe my worst night of this whole thing. I was just in so much pain, I got maybe half an hour sleep. I was constantly ringing my buzzer for more drugs and hotter heat packs. One time at about 3 am I just burst into tears and said I wanted to rip my legs off coz off the nerve pain radiating down, i could also start to feel all the metal in my back.. it was just the worst night of my life (yes maybe worse than the seizure coz at least I slept after that).

Monday was just a really shit day. I didn’t move in bed at all, hardly ate. The physio came in at one point to see if I wanted to go for a walk and tell me I was doing great and I just didn’t even respond coz I clearly was not doing great. They came to get me for an x ray- they didn’t even bother asking if I want to go down in a wheelchair coz I looked so ill. They took me down in the bed and I think I was semi unconscious the whole time, except for the X-ray I jumped up to get it over and done with then got back in the bed and zoned out while they took me back up. That day was so bad that at one point mum asked if I wanted to just sit in the wheel chair and go to the cafe to get out of my room and we got to the elevators and I said nope I want to go back.

They (the nurses) in general had been super onto me about using my bowels coz I hadn’t in a while and I knew they wouldn’t let me out of hospital until that was sorted so Monday night I finally got that out of the way and once I didn’t have to worry about that I think in general I started to feel heaps better about everything.

Tuesday i started feeling a lot better. I got my new X-rays:

It doesn’t show up on the X-ray but there is a thick tether rope between those peg- shaped screws down the bottom on the right (left side of my back- this is taken from the front). That pulled my bottom curve from about 90 degrees to maybe 35 (I don’t know the exact degree). So while my spine is definitely not straight, it is a HUGE improvement compared to what I use to have.

My nurses on tuesday said I might be able to get out of hospital in the next day or two which made me so excited coz it had been nearly 2 weeks, 2 surgeries, some big complications but I was so ready to get out. Tuesday was in comparison to the others a great day. I walked a lot and faster and easier than I had before, I did stairs and even got down into all my splits!!

(Pls excuse my bed hair and my chipmunk voice 🫠).

I asked the doctor about a release date and he said let’s aim for Thursday, so that just made me even more eager to improve so I could get out Wednesday.

I eventually crashed and had to get into bed at about 3 but I was still feeling good and was managing pain a lot better.

That night I slept so well! In a few 3 and 4 hour blocks and slept till 9 am! The nurse actually had to wake me up. I asked again about discharge and they said all my ops were looking good so as long as the doctor clears me I could go. He came in at about 10 and said I was free to go!!!!!

My mum had booked an air bnb across the street so she had been staying there and it was nice I had a big bed and, just homier sort of place to go to rather than a hotel. When I got back I had some lunch but then went and had a nap coz just packing up my hospital room was very exhausting. I had such a deep sleep when I woke up I randomly started crying. It was just very emotional and learning now how to walk and get around a sort of house was alot.

Thursday was a really good day- hardly any pain, sat up all morning watching tv, then went for a walk down the street. I have a walking stick just to help with balance but its also good just as kind of a signal to others that I’m a bit fragile at the moment- coz u wouldn’t know just looking at me.

Friday I spent most of the day in bed but was still feeling good.

Today (Saturday) we had to change accommodation, we’re now in a hotel for a week until (hopefully) the surgeon gives me the all good to fly next Saturday.

As for VM hugs…

So these ones have been my go-to help me breathe and stay calm (for this surgery they had to deflate my lungs so breathing exercises have been part of my rehab) but of course they also bring me a lot of happiness:

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

Undercover - Chapter 1

Story Warnings: Smut, rape, mention of suicide, murder, domestic abuse, sexual assault, mention of abortion, addiction, torture, kidnapping.

Just a mention that these are serious topics and are not promoting anything and those topics are specifically for character development....

Chapter Selection

______________________________

I walk into the building and feel a rush of cool air. Dammit I wish I brought a sweater. When I walk into the office I get called by a man wearing a black suit with a red tie, 

"Agent y/l?" I turned my head and walk over to the man that called my name; my Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner. "Yes?" 

"Can I see you in my office." He asked in a clam stern voice. I walked up to his door and walked inside.

He gestured for me to take a seat. "I see that you have a degree in criminology and criminal psychology."

"Yes sir." I started to rub my thump over my fingers. "Why the BAU", I couldn't read the emotions on his face. He was like stone. "I've always been interested in criminals and their behavior the why was the question I constantly asked myself when I'd see or read a story of a crime." 

He doesn't say anything he just looks. His brows furrowed with his eyes focused on my body language.

"Okay", Hotch stands up and holds out his hand. I follow his movements and shook his hand. He walks out from behind his desk and walks to the railing outside. "I'd like to introduce you to Agent y/n y/l."

A crowd of 6 people came around from all over the bullpen. Hotch pointed to all the people; "This is Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid, David Rossi, and Penelope Garcia,"

We all made conversation about how it was at the BAU and the types of cases they had gotten in the past. They were quick to disperse having paperwork to do. Hotch showed me to my desk and Garcia helped me get familiar with the system. 

"Hey you need some help." Morgan approached me. "I'm already in the system and I have nothing to work on." He looks a me. 

"I can show you around the building if you want; I'm already done my paperwork and I don't get off till 5 so." I shrug I've got nothing better to do. 

JJ walked into the bullpen with a file at hand, "We've got a case." Everyone files to the round table taking a seat. Emily looks around taking notice at y/n and Morgan's absence, "Where's y/n and Morgan." 

"He took her on a tour of the building, he was done his work." Reid says. 

Me and Morgan were walking back into the bullpen when we notice everyone at the round table.

Hotch gave Morgan a disappointing look and showed me no emotion. "Don't be late. Garica." He wanted her to start. 

Garcia starts ,"16 yr old Julia Martin went missing in Georgetown, Delaware Tuesday night at 10:32pm. She goes to Sussex Central High School, she is a sophomore and keeps to herself, she has a few close friends. She doesn't go out very often." 

Now it's common knowledge that with cases like these it's time sensitive. "Wheels up in 30", We all head out to get our go bags, getting into the SUVs and heading to the jet.

We start to go over the case again. Hotch starts, "Prentiss, Morgan and I will go to the police station to set up, Reid and JJ go talk to the family. 

Y/N you're with Rossi I want you guys to go to the school and talk to her teachers and friends."

The plane lands and we all get into the cars.

Rossi gets into the driver's seat. "So how do you like it so far." He continues to look at the road. 

"It's great I've always wanted to be in the BAU since I was a kid." I look at Rossi, "Is Hotch always so serious?" He glances at me, "Most of the time but he'll warm up to you."

The rest of the car ride is filled with small conversation. 

We get to the school and walk and start talking to her teachers. I asked "What was Julia like in class? Did she talk to anybody that she usually didn't and how were her grades?"

"She didn't really talk to anyone other than a few of her friends. I would try and help her to talk but she would end up doing the work independently even with a group and she would do all the work and as for her grades they were great. She was an A, B student for the most part."

The rest of the teachers said the same thing as the first. 

"Okay so if nothing was going on at school and there were no suspicious people hanging around then they must have grabbed her at home."

 I told Rossi as we walked back to the car. Someone caught our attention. There was a boy leaning against our car. 

"Can we help you", Rossi asked. "I might know what happened to Julia, she was talking to this guy online... she might have mentioned that she was gonna meet up with him." 

"Can you come by the station later we're gonna need to talk to you", I said and he agreed. 

We drive back to the police station and the rest of the team is there. "So apparently Julia was talking to someone online and her friend thinks that's who might have taken her." Rossi says. 

"And she's never met this guy. He doesn't even go to the same school according to her friend" I continue, "The friend's name is Kevin Philips and he's coming by tomorrow."

"Okay everyone we have a long day tomorrow let's get some rest." Hotch tells the team.

We go outside to the cars and drive over to the hotel. "There were only four rooms left so we're gonna need to share.

 JJ and Emily I'm assuming you two are gonna share, Morgan and I will share so that leaves Hotch and y/n." Hotch stares at Rossi

"So you just get a room to yourself?" "Exactly." He walked off going to his room. 

Of course.. "Are you ok with that, you can just share a room with JJ and I." 

"No really it's fine." It wasn't fine. It was my first case and I sharing a room with my boss. Not just my boss but someone I found attractive. 

Hotch grabs the key and we walk to the room. He walks in, drops his stuff on the chair and I just look at him then the bed. "What is it?"

"Um there's only one bed."

He looks at the bed and then the floor. "If it bothers you I can sleep on the floor I dont mind." 

"No, it's ok, it's a large bed." He then turns around, grabs a towel and hops into the shower. I heat up our leftovers from lunch; I know he hasn’t eaten since this afternoon. 

I put on some music and I start to change into a black crop top and grey sweatpants when he walks out of the bathroom. 

I don't notice him at first but I can feel his eyes traveling up my body. I turned around and he's looking at me and I was staring at him. 

He was buff, not ripped, but perfectly toned. You could clearly tell he had abs and a V line that went straight to..... I hadn't put on my clothes yet I was only in a black lace bra and some matching underwear.

He kept staring and I was too lost in thought to do anything about it. "I'm sorry", and he turned around and walked back into the bathroom out of embarrassment. "It's ok Hotch really." 

"You sure." "Yes I'm sure." He walked back out with just the towel when I finished changing. While I was eating at one of the desks. 

There was a mirror in front of me and I could see him perfectly. While I was chewing I could hear a faint voice. "y/n...y/n" I snapped to look up at his eyes through the mirror. 

"Uhh you were staring." I didn't answer but I didn't have too. The brush rose to my cheeks and he could tell.

"You made my food?", "Yeah i knew you hadn't eaten so I figured."

Once I finished I turned off most of the lights as Hotch was still awake; I crawled under the covers and drifted off to sleep.

Aaron POV

I finished up eating the food she made me. I noticed the music she had on was still playing, the song was Brian Crain - Earth. 

She was already sleeping...she looked so beautiful and peaceful. I turned off the music and crawled into bed. She didn't move and I went to sleep. 

I woke up at 2am and her arms wrapped around my torso. Her head was laying on my chest; I slowly got up and went to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and saw the sweat through my shirt so I took it off.

I went back into bed and right as I put one foot in she grabs my hand and pulls me toward her.

I'm now laying next to her with my arm wrapped around her back with my hand on her waist. She pulls me closer to her, puts her head back on my chest, and put a hand at the base of my neck. 

"Where'd you go", she whispered into my ear. I got chills that ran up and down my spine.

"I had to go for a second but I'm back now", my voice was soft and low almost a whisper as I didn't wanna wake her even more. It was nice, I did like her. 

She nestles her head in the crook of my neck. I felt her breath on my body. We both just drift in each other's arms.

She's just so beautiful... everything about her. The dips and curves of her body to the sound of her voice.

I notice something though, the scars running down her back. Like someone had dragged a knife down it.

-----------------------------------

I woke up first again this time; it was 6am. I didn't wanna wake y/n so I just stayed in bed laying down looking at her. 

This time she wasn't holding me, she was almost on top of me; I could feel her heart beat at a steady pace. Her legs were on mine, her face nestled into my chest and her arms around my body. 

I put my hands on her holding her close. After about 10min she started to open her eyes. "Hey", I said with a soft tone. Surprisingly she looked at me and didn't visibly freak out but her heart rate was picking up, she closed her eyes and tightened her grip. 

"How'd you sleep", I asked her and she looked down at my chest. "It was good", She said lazily. Y/N let out a loud sigh and got up into the bathroom. 

The heat that was next to me started to fade away as her side of the bed got cold. I heard the shower turn on when I went to get some food. 

When I came back she was out of the shower and dressed. "I got you some coffee." She took it from my hand and waited for me to get ready for work.

Y/N POV

Oh my god, I was sleeping on my boss....all night. I enjoyed it- he didn't get up when he saw me. Did he enjoy it too?

I get out of the shower and Hotch is gone. I started to get changed; I put on a white dress shirt and a black slacks with black heels. I hear someone knock at the door. 

It was Hotch holding some coffee and two muffins. "I got you some coffee." He said holding it out.

I start eating my food and he started asking me questions. "So what made you wanna join the FBI?", that was one question I didn't really wanna answer right now. 

"It was my sister for the most part but also the fact that basically my whole family was involved in the government."

"Why your sister?", He looked at me studying seeing how I was reacting. When he asked that question my heart sank into my stomach. "She-", I was trying not to cry; I took a big gulp. 

"She was murdered when I was teenager, I was the one who found the body...It was a long time ago but it still hurts", tears started to fill my eyes and my face was getting red. I looked up for a moment trying to blink the tears away. 

There was a flash of regret in his eyes, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get upset." 

"No it's okay you didn't know." I was trying to hold it together clearly it wasn't working when he walked over to me, he put his arms around my waist and back and hugged me. 

I was caught off guard by the sign of affection but I put my arms around him and hugged him tight. 

"it's okay, I'm sorry." A few tears managed to escape from my eyes; they rolled down my face they were absorbed by his shirt. He cupped my face and wanted me to look at him. 

He didn't say anything, he used his thumb to wipe the tears that were still falling from my face and hugged me again.

I started to calm down in his arms listening to his breathing. I felt protected, secure, and warm. Being in his embrace was like a shield; nothing else mattered. 

Time skip

While waiting for Kevin to get here we all are gathered around talking. I walked over to Reid; he has his nose buried in a book, "Hey." He looked up at me. "Hey", "How's it going." I was getting a little nervous running my thumb along my other fingers. 

He seemed to notice when his face softened a bit. "Good"

"Look I'm sorry in advance I'm not really good with conversation." I said as he stood up from the chair. "It's okay neither am I, I always worry if I'm saying too much or saying the wrong thing." 

Knowing there was someone else on the team that was also awkward it was comforting. "Well since we'll be working together a lot how about when we finish this we go get a cup of coffee." 

His shoulders eased and his eyes lit up. "Yeah I'd like that." I can tell the corners of his mouth were turning up and his cheeks were slightly pink. 

Reid sat back down when I walked away he looked slightly disappointed but resumed reading. I was about to talk to Morgan but Kevin walked into the station. 

JJ walked up to him, "Kevin?" He nodded. "Follow me", JJ brought him to a back office and sat him down. "Before Julia left did she say anything to you."

Kevin started, "I might be her best friend but she didn't tell me much only that she'd been talking to him for a few months and that he wanted to meet up with her. She said his name was Danny. He went to another high school but she didn't say which one, he was 17, and lived near Middletown or New Castle; I don't remember which. If it were up to her she wouldn't have told me at all, I was bugging her about it and she finally let it out." 

Morgan called Garcia, "Hey baby girl, Do you think you can trace her phone?", then Garcia started talking "Honey if you don't think I can do that then your in for a surprise on what I can do." Morgan laughed. He's obviously the flirty one. 

"Her phone is off best I can do is get the last known location....and that is in...New Castle Glasgow Park, its roughly an hour and 30 away." "Alright thanks babygirl"

"I'll call you back if it goes online." She ended the phone call and told the team.

Reid looked at Hotch, Morgan and I. "Either that's where they took her or she really didn't wanna get caught", I stated. 

"Y/N and I will drive up there." Hotch glances at me and nodded his head towards the door. 

The drive with Hotch was nice. We talked and I learned he had a brother in New York that works as a chef. His dad was a lawyer and his mom was a nurse. He likes dogs, Bon Jovi, and the beatles. 

I told him more about my sister, how my mom was a Marine and my dad was a detective. I told him I liked the beatles, cold weather, and Elvis. 

When we got to the park we noticed there was no one there, it was silent and secluded. "Walk with me", I tugged his hand gesturing to follow me. "Were on a case", "I know were just looking around." 

His eyes looked down at my hand on his, I let go and my cheeks blushed, he took notice; the corners of his mouth turning upwards. There was no one else on the trail.

Trees surrounding the majority of the area. "What did you do.. ya know before this." As we were walking he averted his gaze from the ground to me. "Before the FBI?" I turned slightly. "Yeah", "I was a prosecutor." 

I slowed my steps, "Why'd you stop, you were still putting the criminals away. Why'd you lose interest." He smiled a bit when he looked to the side to see me already looking at him. 

"I don't know, I guess it was because I was tried of it. When those cases came to me they had already committed the crime. I guess I thought I wasn't doing enough. I wanted to get them before those cases reached my desk." 

We were approaching some of the wooded pathways that broke of in two directions.

That's when we stopped, I walked in front of him and kept my eyes of the ground before looking up. 

"Well sir congrats you were successful. I mean think of how many lives you've saved based on that one decision you made." His eyes softened and his face eased his shoulders dropped, he was relaxed. 

"What's that", he points to the ground in front of one of the gates by the woods. I bend down and grabbed it, "It's a phone. Still has power, no password." 

Hotch calls Garcia, "Hello sir what can I do you for." "Can you run a number for me...302-555-4276." After a few seconds and the sound of typing she speaks. 

"The number is registered to a.. Julia Martin. Sir, that's her phone" Hotch ends the call. 

"The phone was in front of the woods if you were taking someone to a public park to meet with them the woods would be an easy exit", He states. 

Hotch gestures me to continue walking into the woods I look at him then the woods. "No you're going first", I put my hands up and he stares down and chuckles. "You scared?", I shrug and grin, "Maybe."

"Think about it in the movies where do the people go missing" I pause before continuing, "the woods and I'm not gonna be one of those people." 

While he's stiffing a laugh I follow behind him. It's starting to get dark so we pick up the pace. We go on for 2 miles before I stop him, "Right there", I point to a broken house at a clearing.

I remove my gun, he takes the back while I stay in the front with my gun raised. 

I hear Hotchs footsteps through the house, I walk in the front door; seeing nothing but broken chairs, torn wallpaper, and rotting wood. He signals me to go upstairs. 

The floor creaking below me feeling like it's going to fall any second. I get to the top and check the rooms. There's a chair in the middle of the room, blood on the walls and clothes covering the floor but they are worn and discolored. They've been for awhile. 

As I go back downstairs I fall through into the basement, "Fuck!". "Y/N what happened, are you okay." "I'm fine", I say strained. I slammed my back on the concrete knocking the wind out of me. 

I hear something moving in the room with me. "Hotch there's something down here." I call out to him yelling in a whisper. 

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 12/?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best friend’s name)

God idk what i’m doing with this but i’m liking it lmao

next one might honestly be smut idk

Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Description of Blood, Gets heated, hints at trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N walked through the streets of Gotham, which were once bustling with people, but now were quiet with the occasional hooker, she had caught the city as an unlively hour, where it seemed to sleep the night away while the vigilantes of the area watched it like their lives depended on it. In some ways it did, the stories they would tell when being interviewed were horrific sometimes, but Y/N figured a decent amount of it was for dramatization, to keep the people of Gotham off of the streets to protect them all from it.

The question was always protect them from what, and they never answered. So, it never kept the people of Gotham at bay from the streets at night, and had Y/N’s car not been towed, she would have been driving home in the safe, secluded area of her car, not the vast wilderness of the streets of Gotham.

She looked up at the sky to see one of the virgate boys using a grappling hook to fly to the other building, which was such a sight to behold for someone who never witnessed a superhero beyond Superman at home. She wished and longed to know more about the vigilante, but didn’t dwell or dote on that man, because she didn’t need to.

Something told her that he was watching though, tracing every step she made to make sure she got home in one piece. She thought she was crazy, her life didnt matter more than anyone else in Gotham. He’s not following me, why would he? she thought, Even though I’m dating Jason Todd, they probably don’t know Jason, so my life doesn’t mean much more to them than any one of the hookers along this street. I’m overthinking it.

The walk home took two hours, she left Jason’s at 4am just to find herself back home at 6am, bright and early as the sun rose, ready to greet the day and all it had in store for everyone. But the things it had in store for Y/N was a class and if she was lucky, cuddling with Jason. Nothing more, nothing less.

She would open her front door, unscathed from the journey home, except maybe for a few callouses on her feet, it was the last time she wouldn't pay for more than a day of parking, that’s for sure. Heels were not the shoes you wanted for a two-hour walk home in the Autumn cold, but they were what she had.

She thought about what she was going to do next, and the first thought she had was to shower. Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to nurse the terrible headache she had and to think some things through. What she normally did in the shower.

She wanted so much more from so much of her life. the main offender of seemingly not being enough for her was Jason. Not because she didn’t want more, but because she craved more from him. He was injured, so she wouldn’t get much more rom him for the time being, and it stung a little for her. She just wanted him, maybe sexually, maybe in a more romantic setting or maybe just on her couch on a Thursday afternoon. It was all three of those options and she knew it.

She pulled out of the shower and looked at the time, 6:50am. Okay, she thought, little more time than I wanted to spend in the shower, but I guess the universe had different plans for me today. What else do you have for me, universe? And how much of you plan involves Jason?

She would open her phone after quickly getting dressed. While she still cared for her appearance, she didn’t want to dress like she owned a law firm every day, so she didn’t. Just black jeans and a black top and she felt like a million bucks. 

Just some quick outfit inspo. I like doing these a lot. I think fashion is funky :))

Artemis had sent her a message asking where she was at around 4am, she wondered why the time, but she then remembered that Artemis’ boyfriend worked with Dick Grayson, who was Jason’s brother, who worked most nights until radical hours of the night. The chances that he saw her on her two-hour walk home was high, but the chances that that had also made it back to Jason was higher. She knew she was in for it.

Hey sorry, I was at Jason’s. Fell asleep in his arms the whole shebang. And yeah, that was me who screamed the yo momma joke at the press. It was super childish, I know, but I don’t care. Those fucks are sucking my life force out of me and harassing my boyfriend, even your boyfriend.

She would then look at the articles calling her a gold digger and worth-nothing childish insulter of the press. She laughed. If the press wanted a fight from her, she was more than willing to oblige and load the canons. 

She didn’t know how to fight back that well, since it was a mainly verbal fight, and she barely even knew how to  fight physically, hence all the running and non-confrontational arguments she had had to the press.

And like fucking clockwork, Jason texted her.

Did you walk home alone or are my brothers lying bastards?

I walked. I knew someone saw me, fuck.

Why did you walk home? I thought you drove here?

I did, but we spent more than 12 hours together Jason. I didn’t buy enough hours, suddenly my car was being towed.

You could have asked for a ride home from Alfred! He would have in a heartbeat.

I was going to! But  I got distracted and it all became a blur and suddenly I was part of the way home in the dark by myself!

What if you had gotten hurt?

Well, I saw one of the vigilantes of the city on the rooftops, I’m sure if I screamed they would have seen me. They always do see that stuff.

So, your car got towed huh?

Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay it off. It’s not exactly like money my parents give me should go to my car getting towed because I got fucked over by seeing my boyfriend. 

You’ll figure it out. Sorry about the car, that’s got to suck fucking ass.

You think? I’m stuck taking the fuckin’ subway till I get my car back. I hate the subway, too many people. Far too many people. Too many eyes. It gets stressful really quickly. Might just walk every where honestly, I can’t deal with the eyes of strangers.

But you’re a C-list celebrity.

Internet is different. I can just block the bad eyes and move on with my life, you should see my block list now that some people are connecting my name to the girl who flipped off the press, thank god Twitter has a fuckin block feature.

You should really just meet my family so you don’t have to run away before they get home, would probably cause you a lot less financial stress, Y/N.

I’ll think about it.

You should think a little harder about it. I don’t want you to get your car impounded ‘cause you’re seeing me, why did you even park in pay-to-park?

Did you not see the massive mob trying to get to you? It was impossible for me to even try to pull into the driveway. Hence why I’m being insulted, you know, ‘cause I yelled at the press to get them to leave me alone. I fucking hate the press, you’re stabbed, severely injured last time they got information, and they’re harassing me, asking me what I like to do on the weekends.

Fucking vultures. Yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve read the articles. But that’s the press for you, absolute trash and spitting bullshit in everyway.

Fucking hate the press, that’s for damn sure. Despise them. I won’t ever change that, even if, knock on wood, we break up.

Praying we don’t break up so I can see you lose your shit at the press when you’re bored.

She would get up to go make some coffee, since it was closer to 7:20am and if her roommate woke up, she could just tell her to get up anyway.

The press can suck my dick. she said.

You have a dick?

Oh yeah. Massive. 20ft long. It probably won’t even fit all the vultures.

Oh my god, that’s not as big as mine.

lmfao is it now?

Oh yeah.

Nice.

Anyway, my brothers are staying home from school today,  I think they’re making me play Resident Evil 8 with them? You know that game?

Of course. Everyone in that game is infinitely hot.

Are you bi? 

I don’t know. Haven't thought that far ahead to actually label myself. I just like people. Sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s women. But you have to agree when you see them all. That game came out when I was still in  high school, so I’ve played the entire thing. My phone background is actually one of the characters.

Which one?

I’ll show you if I come over tonight.

My brothers might be in my room, though.

Okay, but, RE8 is an amazing game. So, worth it.

You won’t meet them normally but I pull out a game you love and you’re down?

I’m very easy to convince.

You still have notes to write when you come over though.

Oh yeah, I was probably going to have to come over both ways, just because I need those notes and you do too.

Do you not own a printer?

I barely even own a laptop, I’m waiting for my old one to come in the mail. 

How do you even manage?

With a whole lot of will and spite, anything is possible.

And that’s when her discord group chat @’ed her. She was on Do Not Disturb because she was Jason, and apparently they missed her.

Y/N! C’mere. One said.

Yes? Whatduhya want nerds?

We’ve decided to hold a fake internet wedding between you and Christopher. Another said.

A what.

We’re getting married!

Sometimes I wish I never left Metropolis and then I remember you fucks live there. Why are we doing this? You do know I have a boyfriend right? She asked them.

I don’t know, we’re bored and we miss you. We can have a bachelorette party in Gotham, if you want.

I’m this close to going back on DND.

The group chat was made way back when they had all first met in grade 9 and had been active ever since. They all had stayed in the city when they graduated though, but since Y/N received a scholarship, fully paid for, she took the opportunity and jumped.

They were some of her closest friends, even if they lived in a different city to her now, even if they were all busy with school, even if she was busy with school and a boyfriend, A lot of her life wouldn’t be complete without her crack friends in her hometown.

They had all ben partying like crazy while she was gone, and if she wasn’t so hung up in her own life, she’d probably be down there with them. 

Before you do, can you please explain why you’re screaming at the press, lmao.

Because fuck the press, dude. Why else? 

What did they do to you?

Have you seen the recent articles?

That’s true.

She laughed and finished her coffee. Jason had not responded yet, she assumed his brothers were either checking on him or they had started the game. It was around 8am when A/N finally left her room.

“I thought you were staying with Jason?”

“I was, but then I remembered he has like 9 siblings and I’m not about to meet them all. Then I walked home.”

“You walked?”

“Car got towed.”

“Fuck, can you afford the bill? I can’t.”

“Nope.”

“Guess we’re going to take the subway for a while, huh.”

She sighed and put her cup in the sink, “At least you don’t have school to go to and your lover comes to meet you, I have shit to do and places to be,” she frowned, “Inconvenient.”

“Could you borrow money from Jason’s dad?”

“I don’t borrow money from family, it’s hard enough for me to accept the money my parents send me.”

“I know it is, when’s your class?”

“3pm, I’ll be leaving at 12pm though, because the subway is unreliable.”

“This is going to be a hard hit for us.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s fucking your credit. Mine’s tanking.”

“You’ll pull through it.”

-------------------------------------------

She got onto the subway at 12:30pm. She really hated the way it was running. The people, the faces, the staring eyes of unwanted attention. People knew who she was and she hated it. She didn’t like the attention, she just liked the fucking with people. She wanted to get off the subway the minute she got on.

She eventually couldn’t take it and got off a few stops away, there was still a substantial walk towards the college, but she knew it would be. She even brought a leather jacket with her so that she could walk if she couldn’t take it anymore.

And there she was, in the busy streets of Gotham, walking to her college. Barely aware of the people who did stare at her, because she just kept walking, lost in her thought but aware of the people in her trail, the cross walks and the lights she was waiting for occasionally. She just kept walking until Artemis met up with her,

“Hey! I didn’t know you were walking to school today,” Artemis said.

“Oh! I didn’t want to, my car got towed though.”

“Your car got towed? That sucks so much. Well, we’re going the same way, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk with you, you get no say.”

“Of course. I was going to ask if you wanted to,” she laughed, “It’s more fun with a friend anyway, Art.”

“So, how are things with you and Jason, I’m legally obliged to ask as one of his friends.”

“Well, we made it official if that’s the kind of thing you want to hear,” she laughed again, “I’m sure it’s the answer Dick will eat up.”

“You’re right about that one. Dick’s a sucker for a romantic story, you should write one, since you write. He’d probably read it all.”

“Well, that would be fun, but I still don’t have my laptop.”

“You could use Jason’s?” Artemis suggested..

“Nah. It’ll be fine,” she said, “I’ll manage.”

“Aren’t you collecting notes for him for your psychology class?”

“I am, it’s not like he can go anywhere. I actually told him he’d need to walk eventually so that it’s not a learning curve when he’s healed.”

“That’s what all of us are telling him too, he’s a stubborn man, good luck with that one,” Artemis laughed, “He’s always been the stubborn friend. Worse than Will, actually, and Will is really bad with being stubborn.”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “If you asked any of my Metropolis friends they’d say the same about me.”

“I bet you were quite the wild child in your heyday back in your city,” Artemis laughed, “I hate Metropolis.”

“Who doesn’t? It’s so crowded.”

“Uh, Clark doesn’t. He thrives there, no idea why, he grew up in Smallville. If anyone should be uncomfortable with Metropolis it should be the small-city country boy, but I guess it’s his thing.”

“I forget you know everyone.”

“We know a lot of people, are you’re slowly being let into our massive circle of very well-known people. Welcome to the group, I guess,” she laughed, “You'll either hate or love the fame that comes from this.”

“Well, if its paparazzi and press, I think I’ll hate it.”

“I can promise you right now that it’s not all paparazzi and press, we haven’t been bothered today, probably because we are on the move.”

“You shouldn’t say that, you’ll jinx it.”

“I know a lot about not jinxing it, but that’s a story for another time,” Y/N noticed that when Artemis said this her eyes glazed over and she looked upset.

“You don’t ever have to talk to me about something you’re not ready to talk about,” Y/N reassured her.

“Hey, the trauma makes me funny.”

“Two can play that game.”

They would ramble on for the rest of the walk to their college. Nothing really of substance, just getting to know each other further. She was glad she found a friend in Artemis, it would have sucked if the two of them didn’t get along, but with each word they exchanged, they had so much fun.

She even told Artemis about that time she played Katherine Howard in her school’s budget play of Six - The Musical. She was proud of the riffs she was able to do, but she didn’t talk about it often. She was never the type of brag about her achievements, no matter how amazing they were.

But Artemis and Y/N parted ways and Y/N went to her class and wrote the same, boring, scribbly and barely legible notes. She figured eventually she’d need nicer handwriting, but did she want to work on it? No.

When she finished, she saw Artemis and who she could only assume to be Wally, at Artemis’ class doors. She waved to Artemis, before Artemis called her over.

“Y/N! Hey, I would ask how class is, but this is Wally,” she gestured to the red-head boy beside her, and Y/N held out her hand to shake Wally’s.

“Hi, Wally.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you since Jason can’t shut up about you and my girlfriend likes you a lot.”

“Well that's sweet of you Artemis. You’re just so in love with me,” Y/N joked.

“Girl. You know it,” Artemis joked back.

“You two already have a close bond? That’s impressive,” Wally said, “Never seen anyone win over any of my friends this quickly,” he muttered.

They joked for a little while longer, just getting to know Wally before she had to go, she had to get to Jason’s.

The walk was a while away, so she went and sat on a park bench for a minute to check her phone, Jason had texted her.

Hey baby, are you coming over?

I am, yes. I actually just met Wally.

You met Wally and I wasn’t there to see it? C’mon.

Artemis introduced us! Go yell at her.

Oh. Never mind. I won’t do that.

Ha! Scared of her?

Maybe a little, she can be scary, okay?

You can’t tell but I’m laughing at you.

Dhmu.

That’s fine, I’ll just go hang out with Alfred and not you. He seems like he would be spiteful like me.

That’s unfair.

I thought you said don’t hit me up?

Fuck.

Checkmate.

I am upset.

No you’re not.

No I’m not.

She would walk down the street further, maybe within a couple steps to reach the Manor, when a man dragged her into an alleyway. She yelped.

“Uh, hello? Can I help you?” she asked, pretending she wasn’t terrified.

“How much would Bruce give me for you?” the attacker mumbled before he tried to knock her to the ground, but she had another plan.

He grabbed her, put his face close to hers, and she head-butted him, he would stumble back, and she started running to the Manor.

“Come here you fucking bitch!” he screamed. She could feel her nose bleeding as she ran and ran, the security saw her and pulled her into the gateway before drawing their guns and urging her to run to the steps of the Manor.

And she ran. The security at the door saw her and let her in, and yelled for Alfred.

“What is this nonsense, oh,” Alfred paused when he saw the blood running out of Y/N’s nose, “Miss Y/N, what happened to you?” he asked before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the entry-way bathroom and opening a first-aid kit.

“Okay so, what happened was I was walking to the Manor because my car got towed right? And this fucking bastard dude pops out from an alleyway and pulls me into it, asks some bullshit about how much Bruce would pay for me, when he grabbed me and tried to knock me down, when I head-butted him and started running,” she said, completely unphased.

Alfred didn’t respond to her and started to stop the bleeding when Bruce called for him, “In the entry-way bathroom, Master Wayne!” he answered.

Bruce came around the corner and saw Alfred was already tending to Y/N, “Well, this is the event where I meet my son’s girlfriend, when she is bleeding and running from a strange man in an alleyway.”

“Heh, sorry,” she said and outstretched her hand to shake his, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.”

“I can tell you’re going to be quite the addition to this household,” he said as he took her hand and shook it, “As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good. I guess you can’t get mad at Jase for being a reckless man now.”

“I really can’t.”

“Alright, you should be good, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you, Alfred. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I’ve been taking care of 5 boys and 3 girls since most of them were little, Miss Y/N. A little blood is really no big deal for me to handle.”

“That’s obvious.”

“You can go see the boys now, they’re going to ask you though,” Bruce said.

“I know.”

She walked to Jason’s room, hoping that he wouldn’t have all of his siblings in the room, he did though.

“Hey, Y/N- what the fuck happened to you?” Jason exclaimed when she opened the door.

“Oh great, all your siblings are here. Anyway, I guess,” she paused, taking in a big breath so she could run through the events quickly, “So I was walking here ‘cause my car got towed, right? When some fucking bastard man grabs me and yanks me into an alleyway and starts going off about how much Bruce will pay him to get me back or something,” she paused again, “And when he tried to knock me down by getting really close and personal to my face, like an idiot I should add, I head-butted him.”

“You did what?’

“I’m not done yet, met your dad when I actually had blood running out of my nose because that's just my fucking luck. Okay, now you can be disappointed in me,” she joked.

“I will say again, you did what?”

“Something stupid?” she said.

“You could say that again, my god, what went through your head?”

“Uh, nothing. Just survival. Fight or flight but I head-butted a man, and hi, everyone.”

“Hi, Y/N, I’m Dick,” Dick said, “You clearly are meant for Jason,” he joked, “That's something he would do.”

“Don’t encourage her, Dick!”

Stephanie got up and greeted her, “You know, Y/N, I always wanted a crazy sister,” she joked, “I’m Stephanie, the black-haired girl is Cass, and the red-head is Barbara.”

“Me too,” Cass hopped onto the joke.

“It’s something else when you meet the girl your brother is dating after she head-butted a man, apparently,” Y/N laughed, “I know it’s far-fetched-”

“Not really,” Tim cut her off, “You know Jason protected Will when they were attacked?”

“That’s Tim, by the way,” Dick said.

“So you can’t yell at me for head-butting a man!” Y/N joked at Jason while going to sit beside him, he slinged an arm around her shoulder and leant his head into her head.

“Well, you seem like a nice enough girl,” Barbara said, “Take away the reckless behavior, and you are lovely.”

“That is valid, to be honest. Not exactly the way you want to meet your brother’s girlfriend.”

“You think?” Jason asked, sarcastically.

“Ha ha.”

“See, she thinks I’m funny, why can’t you fucks?”

Y/N laughed and then asked Dick, who was playing RE8 at the time, staring at the photo of Donna Bentiveno, “She’s cute, isn’t she, Dick?”

“Have I been staring?”

“Let’s just say Angie is probably very pissed at you.”

“Oh! Whoops. There’s a point to this, I forgot.”

“I don’t blame you, I remember forgetting there was a point and the little bitch devil doll would attack you.”

“Language.”

“Oh no, you’re lame. Gross.”

“Excuse me?” Dick asked as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.

“Do you guys see why I like her now?” Jason asked.

“Uh no, she’s mean,” Dick said.

“You’re going to die if you don’t start paying attention, Dick,” Y/N said.

“Oh!” and he died.

“And that kids, is why we listen to the person who’s 100%’ed the game.”

------------------------------

Y/N and Jason would spend hours with his brothers and sisters until the sun started to set and they all scattered to their own rooms to  do their own things. you can’t keep a lot of kids in one room for so long.

Once everyone left, Y/N placed her hands on Jason and kissed him, she was actually able to be laid on his pillow, he was able to pin her to the bed. And they did just that. He was on top of her, using his one arm to prop himself up and using his other hand to touch her face.

Her hands found their way into his hair like they always did, she found a lot of joy in playing with his hair. Their tongues danced together, they never fought or anything, they just enjoyed each other when Jason let out a small moan and she let out a small laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, Tiger,” she joked, “You’re not fully healed.”

“You literally smashed your face into another man but I can’t moan when I kiss you?”

“Because I know you want more.”

“Hell yeah I do,” he said as he went back for more, actually using his strength to keep her to the bed, but she didn’t protest this time.

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 5)

Previous / Next (6)

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N:  I hope the chapters are not too long with no action. Lets see how it goes from now on. I have no idea how long this might end up being, presumably not past 20 chapters. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Tag list: @vicmc624  @yasminwashere​​

Word count:  4,076

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name                            

Y/L/N- Your Last Name                  

                                  ----------------------------

  Three moons shined over your new room one after the other, observing its slow but sure change. A white canvas starting to turn into a personal expression of ownership and personality. Working with Dr. Banner was quite enjoyable. It was you two at first till Tony joined in, showing you little tricks that increased your productivity by 50%. Amazing what one could do with an experienced teacher. You got used to the gym, going on your own at this point. Anxiety now a part of the past. The first week in the compound felt like more than a month. Cups and mugs, kitchen and rooms, you memorized it all by heart – a surprise even to some of the Avengers still struggling with it. Your brain but a sponge for all important information.

  Peeking inside your room, the sun gently warmed up your skin, awaking you to a missed call from Nea. Your fingers lazily, based on touch memory, rung her phone back.

“Why don’t you pick up when I call you?” she lectured you in the mic

“Because unlike your grand majesty vampire Nea, we mortals need sleep to function.” You murmured in a groggy tone “Maybe share your ambrosia with me next time.”

“They don’t offer super soldier serum energy drinks there?”

“No.” your voice sounded like two stones being grinded together. Palm rubbed over your eyes, leaning your body on that exact elbow seconds later “What do you want? It’s 6 fucking AM.”

“To have breakfast together grumpy.” Nea had a devilish tone, who knew what she was thinking in that pretty head of hers again.

“Now!?”

“No, no. At 9 maybe. Same place we usually go to.” It took a bit of convincing, but you ended up saying yes “See ya later sugar.” The beep following her voice made you throw the phone to the side and puff out, body falling back on the mattress. Your eyes shot open again a few cloud movements later, when you jumped off the bed and into the bathroom. Your gaze landed on the reflection, hair looking like you had an exciting night – wrong by a mile.

  6AM or not, you couldn’t fall asleep anymore, so what was the next best thing? Getting training over while everyone was hopefully still sleeping. Less embarrassment when you miss the punching bag and face plant in it – again.

  Workout clothes on your back, bag in hand and a big chug of water – off to the elevator for your exhausted self. Numbers appearing into the little screen one after the other, counting down the floors till you smelled that familiar cleaner. At this point it did the same job as a preworkout powder. Throwing the duffle bag on a bench, you dragged yourself around the gym - thrilled by the emptiness.

“Lovely.” Your voice rung out breathy with relieve. Some cardio later you began your usual workout program designed by yours truly the trio of demons - Nat, Steve and Bucky who in more than one way was the father of the shittiest things you had to do. What normal human being does upside-down crunches? 

  White chalk enveloped your fist in a cloud, as it made contact with the punching bag. The sheer force pushing back farther with each powerful blow. You huffed and puffed bearing the exhaustion starting to slowly drop and pile in your system. The little trickster in your head began hypnotizing you, making giving up or stopping now such a sweet idea, only one choice away. Yet if you didn’t finish up the daily routine you knew they would catch you and the penalty one was far from pleasant. Better the lesser evil than Satan himself.

“Glad to see you are not training your face for once.” The voice vibrated with an amused bass, conducted by the heavy boots shacking up the room with the same depth.

“Ha, ha.” Your skin made contact with the leather at the last word, taking the object off the chains in one clean swoop “Funny Sergeant. So much so I didn’t even laugh.” Fingers wrapped around your wrists as the punching-bag rested on the floor after its ceremonial thump, making sure there was no damage you could have missed with the lack of pain.

  His eyes enveloped your arm, running over your shoulder and to your face, no thought behind his blue eyes. Almost like a force of habit to check for something. Even if his body frame was big you could never noticed him moving, which was scary at first. Bucky could be anywhere at anytime with no sign at all.

“What got you up this early?” he grabbed a second punching bag and threw it on the hook, filling the huge gym hall with the sound of metal hitting metal “Night…terrors?” the sentence came out like a small whisper, hoping you didn’t catch it.

“Nope si-“

“Do I make you uncomfortable?” your words stuck on top of your tongue, just shaking your head “ Then why don’t you use my name the same way you call Steve and Natasha?” your eyes looked at him for a moment, before grabbing the weights from the side and tying them up to your waistline. His head turned to the side, somehow making him feel stupid for letting such a thing leave his lips. A coldblooded soldier, scared of a request.

“I actually had a goodnight sleep, that is until my best friend called me at 6am.” Your body pushed off the floor, chains singing out, tapping on your thighs.

“I see.”

  Palms firm on the bar, your neck crooked a bit to catch a glimpse of his sagging posture before refocusing in front.

“How did you sleep…- Bucky?” the blue color in his eyes twinkled with delight, maybe a hint of pleasure at how his name sounded coming out from your lips, with that sweet tone he seemed drawn to the past days. It felt almost like he longed to hear it again from decades ago.

“I slept.” His voice was colored with need to cover his lie with a coat of truth

“Doesn’t look-“ you pulled yourself up the bar “- like you did much of that. Trouble sleeping too?”

  Bucky’s fist kept hitting the bag at the same speed you were doing pull ups close by. Two sounds, hand in had married to a familiar rhythm intertwined by silence. His grunts sending a chill down your neck, convulsing it back a bit. It felt almost like his fingers were inches from touching you skin, the area blazing.

“Ugh.” You whined out, his ear twitching in your direction. The thud followed your body walking past him to your bag “I will go take a shower seeing how it is 8 already. Time sure passes fast with you Bucky.” A giggle rung out tugging on a smile. His lips parted, but he gave himself an unaffected façade, even if his heart was doing leaps.

“I don’t talk much.”

“Well maybe if you actually slept more, you would.” Scolding and serious about health issues with this man child, had become a daily occurrence. Seeing how he didn’t even try to lay down. “See ya later.” You waved the back of your hand at him, walking away.

  The showers in the compound were amazing. Everyone in the Avengers had their own one. Your shampoo and products were already resting inside waiting for you to jump in. It was a co-ed bathroom, but usually most of you guys had a different schedule so no encounters. Well maybe once or twice with Natasha, but it was fun aside from her teasing. The warm skin on your heel cooled down immediately after it made contact with the light navy tiles.

“Ohhh.” Your muscles made you spasm for a minute before adjusting to the temperature. Water running over your body, relaxing every bit of your strained figure, droplets gently massaging the pain from the inside out rhythmically. The stream pulled your hair down, elongating it with each pass over. You felt your arm lean onto the wall in front, just to enjoy the full effect of the radiating warmth, opening up your sinuses. Eyes slowly closing, taking you to a safe space, almost away from this world and back into another.

  After what felt like an eternity of alone time in the gym, Bucky had stopped working out just standing there. He had no more motivation. Fist draped with the soft material of the towel, he made his way to the shared showers before his body froze. Running water caught him off guard, but what laid the finishing blow was the delicious smell of flowers and fruits filling up his senses. Usually faint to people, but he was enhanced – a gift on missions, a knife to his chest when it came to things like these. He took a deep breath, trying to swallow the forming lump in his throat. Bucky didn’t know why this was so difficult for him. He had been in here with others before, but nothing made his blood flow faster than right now.

“Bucky?” your voice shook him out of his daze, nowhere to run anymore.

“Yeah. Sorry I didn’t know you were still here.” Your face flushed red upon hearing him actually answer, for a second you thought it was just a random sound. His heavy footsteps echoed on purpose, almost like he wanted you to know where he was exactly, so you would feel less uncomfortable or frightened. Eyes shooting in the direction of your door, where he seemed to have stopped.

“Something wrong?” your voice pitched with his presence so close to your naked body

“My shower is next to Sam and Steve on the other end, but-“ he stopped opening the door to the one positioned right next to you. “ My name is right here.” It took you a minute to register what could have happened, before a forced laugh pushed out your throat

“Tony got bored I guess.” He always pulled stunts like this from what you saw and were told by others. Pepper made sure to warn you, but you didn’t think he would go this far. Then again, why were you nervous in the first place anyways? Who cares, right? You knew Bucky wouldn’t do anything, he was just a puppy with a scary outer shell. Or maybe you wanted something - a thought turning your eyes a bit dark, glazed over almost.

“I swear, he needs his ass beat.” Bucky growled which didn’t help your situation or thoughts “I will wait for you outside.” Pressing your lips together you held in a thought, that just couldn’t sit still. Its metaphorical fingers pried an escape open.

“It’s ok. I trust you, plus we are team mates Bucky. I don’t think it will always be a nice encounter for us if I started going on missions soon.”  

  Tense air, steam filling not only the room but also your mind. Damn it! You cursed at yourself, but that soon dissolved the moment you heard the click and water hitting the tiles. For a moment air couldn’t come out of you, only the humidity in the room running over both your bodies.

  Gathering yourself together, the memory of your breakfast plans harnessed you into action. Your finger flicked the lid of the bottle open, pouring some onto your sponge. Cutting the water flow, you began rubbing it all over your body, bubbles forming a thin fabric like veil over your figure. Taking in the ambiance of the situation, you could smell that familiar scent that usually came off Bucky – almost relaxing you out of instinct.

“That is a nice shampoo you have there.” You spoke up. Bucky wasn’t a stranger, plus small talk could ease your nerves more. In your mind you were the only one feeling weird – far from the truth.

“It’s a body wash.” He said “I use it for both.”

“You can’t do that!” and just like that anxiety flew out of the window like it wasn’t here, in your chest at all “ That will dry your hair out!”

“It does the job. I don’t mind.”

“Well you should. I know it’s probably too much work for you, but you gotta put some care in yourself too Bucky. This is a terrorist attack to your scalp!”

“You seem very enthusiastic about this subject.” He laughed out, catching you of guard. He was having too much fun and you weren’t having any of it. Bucky should be taking you seriously. Pursing out your lips, the little devil on your shoulder crawled to your ear and whispered with an alluring voice. The corners of your lips curled up in the same evil smirk, as your fingers silently grabbed your mango ice cream with essential oils, shampoo. Tiptoeing over to the wall dividing you, you reached over pouring some on top of his head, while Bucky was busy explaining how it is a waste of time for him. Palm over your lips grasping your jaw, you tried to not let out even the smallest peep, no matter how much you wanted to bust out laughing – he would find out. The sergeant’s big hands rubbed the product into his long hair, before bringing his fingers to his nose and catching your snickering from the other side. A new found confidence started filling your blood circulation with adrenalin.

  Bucky didn’t say anything, he used your lack of concentration to do exactly the same. It took you faster to figure it out, his shampoo already soaked up into your hair, roots and scalp.

“Barnes!” a hostile hiss parting your mouth, mad at his childish behavior even thought you were the one that started it in the first place.

“An eye for an eye doll.” You could practically feel him smirking. Switching the game on you, it wasn’t fun being on the receiving end.

“Did you peep on me!” he laughed out and denied , seeing how riled up you were – feeding his inner self 

“Don’t let yourself fall prey to your primal instincts James.” This was the first time you used his first, real name. You wanted to tease him, he always acted like a kid so pushing his buttons wouldn’t be something too difficult to achieve. On the other side, fire lit up in his chest, flowing like lava all over his body, skin radiating waves off heat. Bucky’s eyes shot up almost over the wall, dark.

“Oh trust me doll, this wall isn’t high enough or strong enough if I truly wanted to take your figure in.” His palm hit the top of the only barrier between you two, proving his point. The tiles almost cracked under his pressure “If I wanted to I easily could.” Showing just how tall and massive he actually was. The water almost not hitting the floor could give you a good idea about his posture. The image of his back flexing in that pose intoxicated your mind, but you weren’t ready to give up the crown now.

“Don’t be ashamed Bucky. You lack a few years of experience sleeping through them. Happens, no one will put it against you.” Hitting him right in the manhood, low blow even if he was 100+ years.

“Say that after you have experienced me doll. 40s James couldn’t do to you the things super soldier me can.” Your voice hitched upon that whole sentence, the confidence in this man. You heard Steve joking about this from time to time, but coming directly from Bucky was a whole other thing. The shower felt like ages, when you stepped out wrapping the towel around yourself as tight as possible. Not taking your chance with meeting him you dashed towards the door, almost slipping.

“Careful doll face.” his right hand holding you by the waist, chest pressed into you. He had only one towel around his hips dangerously close to sliding off his hips and thick thighs. The water from his hair dripping onto your chest, fixed hungry gaze onto you. “Cat got your tongue? You were so talkative with that wall between us.” A light push and you found yourself back onto your feet and scrambling to get out to the lockers and to your room.

  You didn’t want to give yourself a moment to process what happened, so you got dressed and ran off to your destination. Flying through the crowds almost, leaving the situation streets behind.

“Wow wow!” Nea’s hands flew up when your body jumped into the booth she saved for you two “What got you all riled up?”

“I am NOT!” strenuous notes hitting her right in the face.

“Ok…so not the case then. I already ordered your usual. Mind?” you shook your head, leaving your light green bag close to you, trying to calm down. “So.” Leaning onto the soft pads on her palms, Nea eyed you up and down feeling embarrassment oozing out “ Did you break something or someone?”

“No, No. Can you just, drop it?” mimicking her posture you threw your face in your hands, wishing to A) go back in time or B) just disappear from the face of the Earth.

“I was going to but...” pulling her body back, letting it lean on the chair, she scanned “Let me guess. You dressed up in less than 10min, ran here for the same amount of time AND.” Her nose found its way to your hair, making you jump back protectively “You smell like a man, not a boy. A man. Not to mention your red face.” Nea paused, letting you take in her wave of words “Grab a glass of water and let’s see if it will evaporate. Tssssss burning.”

“Your order.” A waitress rolled up with your food. Thanking her, you flashed a forced smile watching her walk away.

“Spill it! Who was it?” arrows were being shot at you. Nea was your best friend. If you didn’t tell her, who would you? After a lot of consideration you sighed, giving her the sign she needed to get ready for this.

An explanation later 

“You got cocky.” Her arm taking in her weight on the table minutes after the whole story “ What does the agent even look like? Is he taller? I mean do you have an upper hand or something.”

“It was….Bucky.” you hid your face, waiting for the explosion. Not hearing anything pulled your eyes to her wide ones, mouth hanging almost to the table. With a light motion you closed it back up for her.

“The….the…WINTER SOLDIER!?”

“SHHHHH!” your body flung up, pressing both your hands to her mouth, almost stopping her air. Nea pushed you off, oxygen meeting her lungs before silence again. “Don’t yell!”

“Well I mean WHO WOULDN’T .” She noticed how uncomfortable you were about explaining “At least he smells really good. Is he as beefy as they say? Who is thicker him or Steve? What about Thor, heard he had a nice body too!”

“Calm down. I don’t wanna talk about other people like that.”

“Fine! Keep it to yourself then….” She eyed you, her posture sideways “How is the tower treating you? ” The topic changed to your daily lives and some tea about mutual friends. Breakfast was nice, quite refreshing to meet the city bustle compared to the Zen state of the compound. Nea knew exactly how to calm you down and get you back into your natural rhythm. After paying, you two made your way out the restaurant and back into the ensemble of random sounds.

“Any plan?”

“Hm?” Nea was throwing you a worried stare “About?”

“The situation with the sergeant. You will meet him at some point in there. Gym, hall, common room. You can’t evade him forever. What if you end up being paired up on a mission? Y/N, you are not the type to let stuff like these effect your job.” She was right. There was no way to hide forever. Being bold was what got you in this situation and it could be the answer to it again.

“You are right. If we end up being in a place alone, I will talk it out with him. Probs apologies for making him uncomfortable.” Rubbing the back of your neck you paired the motion with an uneasy, maybe slightly painful laugh.

“ There you go again!” Nea crossed her arms in front of her chest scoffing, letting them fall forcefully. “Going in your head. To me it sounded like he liked it AND teased you back. Don’t force people away like you usually do just because you THINK they don’t like you.” Her smile was soft, sweet like that of a mother giving advice to her hurt child.

“OK!” balling your fingers in a fist you rose them to the level of your chin – aura filled with enthusiasm “I got this!”

“You do!” this girl could hype a crocodile to fly and actually do it.

“What is wrong?” you waved your hand in front of her concentrated face behind you, seeing as how your words weren’t registering anymore

“Better do what you promised me ok?” her hand pushed you back slightly, before you felt an arm as strong as a bolder grab onto you, lifting you off in one swift move.

“TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER!” your best friend’s voice being left further and further away. The disruptive winds were pulling your hair back with the speed the car was drifting with, drying out even the smallest water droplet left. In a moment’s notice you got smuggled in through the big window, finding yourself sitting in someone’s lap.

“Congratulations on your first mission kid.” Steve was holding onto the car’s wheel like there was no tomorrow, driving with speed close to seeing God.

“What is going on!?”you began moving around, confused, catching the city and your freetime in the distance. Bucky’s hands pushed you down onto his lap, trying to stop you from falling out the window

“Tony called. Something out of nowhere popped up and he needs us.”

“Us?” you gasped at the blonde man, trying to calm your heart from the contact with Bucky

“Yup.” His thumb pointed at the back seat “Bruce made sure to pack the stuff we need so just sit down and enjoy the ride. Bucky is pretty comfy.” He threw you a wink.

“Can I go to the back at least?”

“No can do doll. We can’t stop the car.” Your now seat explained

  Rage, confusion and who knows what else was stirring up in you, wanting to jab a punch in both the faces of the super soldiers. Tony too, he has been messing around a bit too much lately. Your back hit Bucky’s muscles when you leaned aggressively, pushing your arms to your chest as you blew a strand of hair out of your face. The whole situation pulled a light groan out of him, that didn’t go unnoticed to your shivering thighs.

“We will be there in a bit.” Steve grabbed the gearstick with the same aggression projected on the wheel, his knuckle turning white under the drip. There was no running away from this, first mission or not you at least wanted to know before hand, get briefed maybe. Your knee began jumping nervously. How bad could this actually be - sending 2 super soldiers and a bag of who knows what. If your metal dust was in there, shit was going to go down. Could you do it? Could you trust yourself enough to finish the job, not get yelled at….or die?

  Bucky’s vibranium arm ran over your uneasy leg and gently rubbed circles into the fabric of the pants. Head leaning down to your ear, fingers moving the hair to expose the shell.

“It’s ok, just relax. Nothing will happen promise baby girl.” Warm air over your skin, yet calming in a weird way “I have been told that my lap is pretty comfortable by ladies. Just enjoy it.”

“James! Buchanan! Barnes! How! Can! You! Be! Pervery! Right! NOW!!!” a hit to his chest between each word, send a vibration through his body, the laugh coming out distorted. Steve threw a look your way, but didn’t say anything, keeping his thoughts behind those serious eyes of his. As he let his best friend get beat up. Whatever it was, this mission was not just a field trip and Cap knew.

[begitalarcos]

Hey guys

Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet lately, had a pretty rough weekend and am still processing everything.

I’ll give you a little backstory, as you guys may know I’ve been working on our basement with my husband, we were desperately trying to get our entertainment room functional for Saturday because we were having a small party for my husbands birthday.

We got the room finished, with quite a few things we are going to have to fix in it (mostly mudding and sanding) but it’s functional.

The party started about 4PM and it went pretty good, it was nice to see everyone and catch up with people, one of our friends is expecting and another brought her 1 year old. We talked about my in laws finally getting married and I got to see my brother and his girlfriend, everything was going good.

By about 10 there were only three of our friends here who continued drinking and were going to spend the night or take time to sober up.

Here’s where things got out of hand

I’ll use fake names for them. So it was me, my husband, Ace, Seth and Zed. My husband was getting tired, we had played a few switch games and stuff and he figured he’d go to bed. Ace said he was probably gonna head home soon, my husband said only if he was taking a cab cause he was still obviously way too drunk to drive. Ace disagreed, my husband reminded him that his dad had drinking problems and he knew this, so he should either sober up or take a cab.

You could see right away that Ace was not happy to be compared to his dad but he didn’t say much of anything, I said I’d stay up to make sure everyone sobered up or made the right choices and my husband went to bed.

The four of us watched random YouTube videos on our projector screen for a bit but Ace was steadily becoming more and more irritated. Seth and I tried to defuse anything and changed the subject a lot but Ace kept trying to make points about things that didn’t even make sense. I kept bringing him water but he kept going back for more alcohol even though he said he was gonna sober up.

Eventually he decided he was going home, Seth and I protested but Ace went upstairs, my husband stopped him as he was putting his shoes on and again reminded him why it was a bad idea to leave drunk and that he shouldn’t drive. Things started to get heated with Ace arguing with my husband, Seth and Zed so I took it upon myself to pull Ace outside to the back deck in the hopes that the less testosterone the better.

He started crying and repeating things like “They all think they’re better than me, how dare they, I just came here to have a good time, they’re not my friends.” All while I was trying to calm him down, and he was swaying, I had to keep my hands on him so he wouldn’t fall off the deck, at one point he stepped back and almost did fall off the deck so I pulled him forward and… he cracked me hard across the face.

Now anyone who knows my history knows that I’ve been on the receiving end of drunken violence before, but it’s been a long fucking time since something like that has happened. I just kind of stood there shocked, of course started crying and Ace just fell apart in my arms sobbing.

My initial thought was I had just scared him by pulling him forward quickly and he just reacted. I dunno what the truth is though, a few minutes later my husband came out and tried again to calm Ace down but it didn’t work and eventually I had to let him go, he stumbled off the deck and declared he was going to walk home.

I went inside to see where Seth and Zed went and my husband went to the front deck to make sure Ace was in fact walking home. But he only got as far as the curb before he made a B line for his truck. My husband, Seth and Zed ran to try and stop Ace from leaving but he was already in his truck, he pulled out fast almost running my husband over and dragged Seth for a couple feet, who had grabbed onto the passenger door. He then drove over the median in our close and sped away.

Sigh 😞

We called the police but they were unable to find him and when I revealed that he’d actually hit me everyone lost their shit and I had a panic attack. So… yea

Sunday my husband and I basically just laid around trying to recover from the night before, Zed was sober and left at about 6AM and Seth had some kind of pop up tent he pitched in our backyard and stayed there till nearly 5PM the next day.

We haven’t heard from Ace at all, and I dunno if or when we will. But our friendship with him is pretty much over now. My husband had been helping him out a lot, he had a messy divorce, we helped him stop drinking once already and talked him down from a suicide attempt. We care about him a lot, I’m just not sure that’s enough. I think no matter what he had decided he was going home, drunk or not, and nothing we said or did was gonna change that.

I’m sorry this was really long winded. I could’ve paraphrased and made it short but I actually feel a little better now getting it all out.

I’m alright, still in a bit of a weird headspace but otherwise okay, my husband is about the same.

Just gotta take some time to decompress now I think…

Hope you guys are all doing well

Much love

- B

[rustycottoncandy]

Tonight was wild.

Okay so for those who don't know, yesterday I decided to stay up 'till 6am doing different things with only a flashlight as a light source.

2:49am

Unfortunately, this idea came to me as I finished cooking some microwave-made cookies, so it wasn't really an entire night... but something is something.

So I took this time to eat the microwave-made cookies and think about what I was going to do for the rest of the night.

3:07am

I finished eating the cookies and decided to take a walk by my house with only a flashlight to prepare myself for what was coming.

3:22

I took this time to read for a while and kill the time before 3:30am came.

3:30am

Hell yeah baby time to spice things up a bit! Okay maybe not so exciting but when you're me everything is exciting. I decided to spend this time in the spot of my house I felt the less safe in. In my case, it was the entrance. It wasn't as scary as I wanted it to be though but eh, it was fun. Also it felt like I was on a videogame, and since everyone was sleeping, so it was like I was alone and I had to do as little noise as possible.

4:00am

Here I just drew for a while on my bedroom to mentally prepare myself for the next 90 minutes.

4:30am

Half an hour locked in my bathroom with only a flashlight. What made this scary though was that my flashlight started struggeling to work, which made me have to shake it if I wanted more light, kinda like in Tattletail. It didn't make noise when I shook it, luckily, since it's a small flashlight. Though what really pissed me off is that at some points the flashlight didn't even turn on, and that uh, was a problem.

5:00am

Intense hour! I decided to set up some rules for this part:

1. I couldn't get into my room, which is the safest room for me and the only one that had a bit more of light.

2. I couldn't stay in one spot. I had to move want it or not.

3. I could not look at any mirror. (To make things harder).

I followed a path during all night, wandering from the living room to the kitchen, from the kitchen to the entrance, from the entrance to my brother's room (he wasn't there, so I could get in) and from my brother's room to the living room. I just kept following that path until 5:50, where I broke a rule and stayed in the living room until 6:00am, since I didn't feel I had the energy to keep moving around the house.

6:00am

I finally entered my bedroom and oh gosh it felt like a reward! I slept until like 2-3pm after that night lol. I'll probably do this all agan next year and turn it a tradition of mine.

[a-pretty-nerd]

Run (Jasper Jordan x Reader College!Au)

Request: “Hoi I wanna request a story sadly I don’t have Patreon though so u prob won’t make it hehe. It’s a Jasper Jordan x reader fan fic also I would love if it a High school/college Au and the readers parents don’t approve Jasper so she has to sneak out every time she wants to meet him but soon she finds out she’s pregnant so she runs away with him? Also your work is amazing!” ~ @deadqueeen 

A/N: I was just about to say, “I’ve never done a college au before, uwu!” but I forgot about that entire self indulgent smut I wrote…big Oof. Anyways, love this idea, I love some good ol’ fashioned angst. Just a warning though, I did end up leaning heavily into the relationship reader has with their parents so just be prepared for some upsetting interactions. 

If you like my work, don’t be afraid to interact! Gimme a like, comment, message, send a request my way if you like! And if you’d like to support me further, go ahead and check out my Patreon!  I’d love to see you there!

Trigger Warnings: Mild Smut, Parental abuse, petting crime, and Pregnancy. 

College was stressful as it is, but as the months passed, things were getting harder and harder to manage. Come your freshman year, a little thing called Covid-19 hit the world, sending it into a whirlwind of stress and unease.You sat in the shower, letting the warm water fall over your aching body as you stared blankly at your knees. After your panic attack you were left void of emotion and thought, sitting there wondering what to do and how to move. The water was a calming reminder that you were still present and very much alive.

Things had changed very quickly and yet it felt like that change took forever to get to you. Covid hit right before the end of your freshman year, forcing you to move back in with your parents until it “passed.” But it wasn’t passing and now you were starting your sophomore year at home.As stressful as it was, you missed school. You missed your friends, your dorm room, even your part-time job. But most of all, your freedom. You missed the carefree way in which you lived in the dorms. You had a taste or real life and you craved more.

You were trapped, for lack of a better word, imprisoned in your childhood home. You spent days without leaving the confines of it’s walls in a failed attempt to keep you safe and focused on school. Your parents weren’t always so strict, but they made it clear that school should be your top priority and anything else was an unwelcome distraction. Things like your boyfriend, were merely a hindrance to your education.You met Jasper your first day in the dorms. He was bright and smiling like an excited puppy, eager and willing to make new friends and new experiences. You quickly became friends, and then a little more. Before you knew it, the two of you were inseparable. He made you feel so wild and free. He nurtured the fun, carefree side of you that you didn’t even know existed. He cared for you in ways no one ever had before. He was so funny and kind and genuine. He gave you the tools to grow, and with his, you bloomed.

When the pandemic hit, it devastated the two of you. Being isolated and kept from one another proved too much to bare. You remember the first night you snuck out with him, terrified of alerting your parents. They hated Jasper, they forbade you from seeing him. Told you he’d do nothing but keep you down and stifle your potential. If only they could see how happy he made you. If only, they cared.Jasper would creep around to your backyard and gently tap at your bedroom window. 12 am, they’d always be asleep, the perfect time to make a quick get away and then 6am, you’d sneak back through your window.

The adrenaline of misbehaving always drove you crazy. Sneaking around in the dark of the night, stealing chased kisses from one another until it was too much to handle. You fell into each other’s arms almost every night, desperate kisses and moans in between the sound of skin slapping against skin. He made your hair curl.You were his first. He was awkward and silly at times but you whipped him into shape real quick. And now, he was a well trained boy toy ready and willing at any moment you desired. He was always so desperate for you, so needy and greedy for your body. But his kisses, no matter how passionate and crazed, were always so loving. He adored you in every way.

These secret rendezvous went on for months, all summer, it was routine, you couldn’t stay away from him. But, maybe you should have. With more classes fast approaching, you began to think about your future. If only you had the money to move out, you and Jasper could finally have a sense of normalcy. You could move in together, start a life together. But the pandemic and school sucked your savings dry and without the conditioned help from your parents, you were penniless. You finally stood on your shaky legs and lifted yourself out of the show. You dried yourself off, shuffled over to your room, dressing yourself, and waiting till the coast was clear. When all was quiet, you texted Jasper and soon he was at your window. Lucky for you, he wasn’t a far drive away. He gently tapped on the glass and leaned down to flash a big goofy grin from behind your curtains. You opened the window and let him in, shushing him as he fell into the room.

“Hey sweetness.” He whispered, loudly. He planted a soft kiss on your cheek as he held you by your hips.“Please be quiet, you’re making me nervous.” You hushed. His smile disappeared slowly as he examined your face. Your red eyes and puffy cheeks gave away your emotions. He was never good at reading a room, but there was little you could hide from him. He made you transparent.

“Have you been crying?” Worry washed over him as he placed his hands to hold your head and slide his thumbs over the soft skin on your cheeks. You tried to avoid his gaze but failed miserably.“Yeah…” You admitted, wiggling out of his grasp so you could sit on the edge of your bed. Your heart started to race, the anxiety and fear wrenching its was through your body. Even the thoughts made you want to cry again.

“Whats wrong? Did something happen with your parents?” You’d been having fights with them for some time now, and he knew it was taking a tole on you. Jasper offered to being you home to his folks, but his relationship with them was on the rocks as it was. Your small group of close friends were your only support. All things considered, the two of you were left on your own. “No…” You muttered, unable to bring yourself to say it out loud. The tears quickly came back up and started falling again. Your emotions, your fears, your pain took over you. You couldn’t get out a single word before your body jerked uncontrollably as you sobbed. It left a slew of incomplete words spewing from your mouth. “I-I….I-I I’m ….. Mmmm …. I’m …..” gasp, sob “Mmmmmha….” and the sobbing continued.

“Hey…Hey…It’s okay.” He cooed softly to you as he rubbed soft, slow circles on your back. It helped, but not much.“N-No…” you shook as you cried, “I’m-m-m-”

“It’s alright, take deep breaths, you don’t have to say anything until you’re ready.” He whispered to you. You clung to him desperately. It took time, but soon you felt good enough to speak again.“Jasper…”

“What sweetness?” He flashed you his kind and loving smile.“I’m pregnant.” You uttered softly. You watched the color drain from his face. His sweet smile faded away to a scowl and the fear rushed back to you. The sobbing started again as you chanted apology after apology, begging for him to stay with you. He didn’t move, he only held you where you were. Finally spoke.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. This isn’t your fault. We tried, we were safe, it’s not your fault. Shhhhh. It’s okay.” Suddenly a bright light interrupted him. Your bedroom door swing open to reveal the large, looming figure of your mother. “What the hell is going on here!” She screamed. You watched in horror as your mother wrenched Jasper from your arms and threw him out into the living room. You followed her, pleading and begging her to stop as she hurled whatever was in reach at him. Shoes, pillows, plates, before your father reached around his collar to throw him out of the house. 

The yelling and screaming continued through the night until the sun came up. Your father nailed your bedroom window shut. Your mother locked your door by pushing furniture in front of it to keep you inside. Your phone, your computer, every form of communication was taken from you. Every mistreatment and punishment being underlined by some iteration of, “this is for your own good” or “this is because we love you.” 

You felt stuck in an emotional limbo for days on end as they kept you prisoner. You didn’t have the energy to cry or argue, there was nothing you could do or say. You had sit and stay, like a good girl. 

One night you were woken by a soft tapping at your bedroom window. You jolted out of bed to see a pair of familiar eyes pear back. Monty stood on the other outside, a face mask and baseball cap hiding his features. He held up a notebook with writing on it and pressed it against the glass. 

“Are you okay?” It read. You rushed to find paper and write back. 

“I’m fine. Wheres Jasper?” 

“Your Dad threatened to shoot him if he saw him again. So he sent me.” He wrote back. 

“Is he okay?” 

“He’s fine. We’re busting you out of here.” 

“How? They’re getting security cameras installed tomorrow.” Monty looked visibly concerned and thought for a moment before responding. 

“Then we’ll have to do it tonight. Pack what you can. We’ll be back to get you in an hour.” 

“How are you going to get me out? The window is nailed shut, I can’t get out.” 

“Don’t worry. Just be prepare to run.” And with that, he left. You packed what you could. A few items of clothing, necessities, and water. You thought about leaving a note. Maybe telling your parents about your pregnancy, they had missed that part of your conversation, thank god. You decided against it, you still didn’t know what to do. Regardless, it was safe to say you could kiss your funding for school goodbye. You’d be on your own from now on. Well, not entirely. 

You heard shuffling outside your bedroom window and looked outside to see two dark figures racing past. You watched as Bellamy peered in, face also obscured by a mask, and waved at you. Jasper’s mask covered face popped into view and planted his palm on the window before holding up a notebook. 

“Get away from the window, and be prepared to run.” It read. As soon as you nodded in agreement, Jasper disappeared from view. You watched Bellamy swing his arms back with a crow bar in hand. The window shattered with a loud crash, glass flying all over your bedroom. He reached a hand out to you, his grasp firm as you clung to his forearm. You were pulled through to the outside and fell to the ground below. 

“Go, go, go, run!” Bellamy whispered, loudly. You looked up at your parent’s house as the sound of dogs barking rang in your ears. Lights flew on from the house as well as neighbor’s lights. You felt so stiff and ridged. The urge to run suppressed by your fear. Jasper reached down and took your hand in his. You looked up at him, his eyes wide with urgency. He tugged at your arm, begging you to get up and run with him. 

Suddenly, you felt free. You felt the strength to get up and push forward. Running with him to a car parked outside the house. The three of you bolted, tripping over yourselves as you raced against the clock. As soon as you were in the car, Octavia greeted you with a big toothy grin. 

“Drive! Drive!Drive!” Jasper shouted at her. Her smile disappeared as she looked back at Jasper with you before her attention went back to the car. The engined roared as she adjusted the gears and soon you were off. Still panting, you looked back at your childhood home and saw your parents tumble out of the front door to try and chase after the car. Your dad tried to chase after the car, but stopped when he realized it was no use. Their figures soon disappeared. 

Octavia cheered triumphantly as you turned back to catch your breath. A great big smile stretched across your face. You’d never felt so free before. You looked over to see Jasper still panting but sporting a bright smile as he looked at you. He reached a hand around the back of your head and pulled you in for a passionate kiss. You laughed and basked in the blissful feeling the adrenaline gave you. 

Soon the moment passed and you were left holding one another’s hand as Octavia drove you to Bellamy’s apartment. You stayed the night, planned your escape. Apparently Jasper’s parents didn’t know he was leaving either, meaning the two of you were officially on the run. You had to leave town, like, now. 

You pooled what money the two of you had, quick to take cash out of your account before your parents could freeze your debit card. Enough to get you out of town and settled in a hotel for a few nights, maybe even a few meals. But you couldn’t afford much without work after that. Lucky for the two of you, a friend from the dorms lived just a town over. You could stay with her a few days while you looked for work. 

“What are you going to do?” Bellamy asked with a dark expression as he stared at you. 

“What?” You were confused, hadn’t you just laid out your plan? 

“Jasper told me you were...you have another problem.” His eyes flashed between the two of you before resting on you again, he was careful to not say anything too pointed. 

“Oh...I...I don’t know.” You said under a whisper. Jasper rested a firm hand on your knee. 

“How long have you known?” Octavia asked. 

“Like a few days. Theres still time to think about it, I just...I just wanna get out right now.” Bellamy nodded his head. 

“If you guys need anything, don’t be afraid to call okay?” He handed you a prepaid phone. You thanked them for your help, packed up, and left the next night. You hid under masks and baseball hats as you sat at the bus station. The cool night air brushed against you skin as you admired the bright lights of the street lamps above. Jasper squeezed your hand in his to get your attention. You looked at one another and smiled under your mask. 

You’d never tell him this, but during the coarse of your relationship you had always worried about Jasper. Worried that maybe you weren’t as serious as you felt. Maybe you were just a little fun to him, the rush of a forbidden romance being what drove him to you. But now, with him so willing run. So willing to leave his comfortable life just for you. Regardless of the responsibilities that came with it. He chose you, without a second thought, he chose you. 

The dark street road was empty and serene. You watched as bats flew down to catch bugs that swarmed the lights above you. Despite your situation, you felt safe and warm there beside him. For the first time, you felt confident that everything is going to be okay.