#like i was supposed to suddenly stop being disabled because of that

[slutdge]

I dont really think ive processed just how badly my dads behavior has effected me this year its really the worst it has ever been and i think im avoiding thinking too hard about it cause i know im a danger to myself if i do lol

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Halloween prompts no. 16

Phantom rubbed his temples in a vain attempt to make his growing headache disappear, "So you're challenging me?"

The new ghost- a vigilante- who was fully convinced he was an evil tyrant and wouldn't listen to anything he said confirmed, so Phantom got up from his throne intending not to hurt the guy too badly and send him home. Unfortunately, Phantom made the same mistake that all his own enemies made in the past.

He underestimated his opponent.

This was how he found him self laying on his back staring up at 'Robin' in a daze with a slave collar around his neck. Robin explained the collar was the only way he could activate the "Right of Conquest" without killing Phantom and remove his power at the same time. This would prevent his allies from being too mad with him and essentially turn Phantom into a battery for the new king to feed on. The former king really wasn't sure if the guy was being smug explaining things to him that he should already know or if he knew that Danny definitely didn't know this because he never had the time to learn every little detail about the world he lived (resided?) in. Either way he was semi greatful for the explanation as to why he was suddenly powerless.

After that Phantom was more or less forced to follow Robin around the castle and keep as a sort of "show of victory" or whatever. Danny made sure to stand tall and dignified despite it all. He wasn't sure what the birdie was thinking, but the people gasping, whispering and glaring at him instead of the supposed evil king behind him may have tipped him off that something wasn't quite right.

Phantom couldn't really bring himself to blame the guy, the people that manipulated him where warlords, cult leaders and conquers who were known for tricking people into doing thier dirty work and making themselves look like saints while doing it.

The coronation was scheduled surprisingly quickly. It was no surprise that the Observants and other rotten politicians liked this new king, but not for the reasons the kingling would have thought. Robins temper would be a justifiable reason to lock him away in his own sarcophagus Pariah Dark style if he acts too violently so he would need to reign in his rage if he wanted to survive the political storm coming his way.

Danny curled up in the corner of his (now former) bedroom as Robin began inspecting the room for traps. The former king pointed out what few traps he had willingly and told the bird how to disable them. After Robin was satisfied he seemed to be preparing to change and go to bed, "You are dismissed."

Danny didn't move, fully intending to sleep right there on the floor.

"Tt. I said you are dismissed."

"Theres no where for me to go. I destroyed the slave quarters early on in my reign. I never planned on using it. I only have three servants quarters and all of them are occupied. They also don't have the the protections that the slaves quarters or the royal chambers would have."

"Why would you need protection? You are my property now. No one is allowed to touch you."

"That won't stop them. These people are monsters and I took away thier victims and punching bags. I took away thier control over the masses and thier ability to torture the other souls here. They'd do anything to get thier hands on me in this state." Danny shuddered at the thought.

Robin gave him a look, as if he knew exactly the types of things these sickos would do to Phantom if they found him alone and unable to protect himself. "Whats stopping you from attacking me in my sleep?"

"The collar for one. I can't harm you thanks to its precautionary features. I wouldn't want to anyway. Deafeating someone in ritual single combat is not the same as outright murder. I wouldn't get the crown back. I wouldn't want to kill you anyway. As I've stated before, those people are angry with me and would do anything to get thier claws on me. If im caught without you to protect me...let's just say I'm better off not being undead anymore.

Robin grimace, weather it be from the reality of the situation or the wordplay was anyone's guess but in the end the new king allowed him to stay. He even threw Danny a pillow which was way more than he expected. He thanked the other teen and they went to sleep.

Danny awoke the next morning to his king brushing his teeth (an unnecessary task for the dead) in the ensuite bathroom. Danny had kept a whole bunch of spare hygiene products in there for his friends and his living form if he chose to stay in it long enough for it to be needed. Robin seemed to have no problem using them as he came out smelling like mint and Dannys strawberry shampoo.

Sitting up he realized he was drapped in one of the spare quilts he kept in the closet. Did...did Robin go looking for a blanket to cover him up? That was kind of him. It was in this moment he decided he officially liked this guy. Danny took his turn to shower and brush his teeth. It was to clear his thoughts and had nothing to do with the glare his king sent him after Danny had put the blanket away. Had he done something to offend him? All he did was thank him for the blanket.

Later in the day Robin met with a few of Phantoms old allies and Phantom set the record straight about the vicious rumors going around about thier new king. Phantom told them in front of Robin that he was trustworthy and he was lied to and that was the reason Robin ever fought him in the first place. Danny asked them to help Robin as he was in danger of being set up to look like a new tyrant and not to tell anyone anything about Robin until after he's officially crowned king as that might scare the Observants and the others into delaying the coronation or trying to come up with a new scheme to stop Robin from taking the throne.

Once they succeeded and Robin was officially King birdy summoned all the people Phantom had told him about, the tyrants. The Observants, the evil lesser kings, and once he had them all in the same room he slaughtered them. All of them. Without mercy.

Damian grinned, fangs sharp and blade outstretched. Thanks to Phantom and his collar he now had the power to destroy entire worlds with one hand tied behind his back and he knew it

Somewhere in his home dimension, Bruce got a chill down his spine, Tim felt the overwhelming urge to hide, and Thalia was filled with a sudden pride for her dear son.

[hyperesthesias]

Can you actually write something smutty for Viktor? Or just a guide on how to? I really want to write some Viktor smut, but I'm worried I won't do his disability justice as I'm able bodied and a dumbass

Of my twelve years on this webbed site, this has got to be the best ask I have ever received lmao

I would be happy to help, friend. I'll answer this in two parts.

Yes, I am planning on writing Viktor smut for Viktor x Anya. I had a lot happen in the year since I made the post you're referencing, but I've finally been able to get back into fandom stuff. I wanted to lay some backstory with them first though, as I am apparently a PWP kind of person lmao. It's coming soon! (No pun intended).

You've taken the first great step in recognizing that your experience and knowledge may not be congruent with potential portrayal, and therefore asking for advice. I don't mean to sound patronizing at all. I am an author and I have seen many professional authors that don't do this, so you're already ahead of the game! I wouldn't consider that dumbassery in any way, shape, or form.

I'll put the rest under a cut due to the nature of this post.

*Disclaimer to this is, of course, I don't speak for every disabled person, this list isn't extensive, and these are my opinions.

I, personally, operate under the assumption that Viktor has Post Polio Syndrome. Looking at photographs (x, x, x) it's pretty clear the animators used PPS as a framework for Viktor's movements and posture, as well as his mobility and assistive devices. People with PPS often develop need for braces, canes or crutches, and treatment for scoliosis -- all of which Viktor has. You are more than welcome to headcanon something different, as I don't believe the writers or animators have ever confirmed or denied PPS, but based on my own experience and research, I would bet money on it.

That being said -- regardless of PPS, or otherwise -- the first thing to consider when writing smut for any disabled character is fatigue. It may not be the obvious thing, as mobility devices often are the first thing to catch an observer's eye. But there is so much that goes on beneath mobility devices. Fatigue is a big one.

Consider the worst flu you've ever had -- all the time, every day, even in your sleep. It can be maddening, like you can't get any relief -- even if you take pain reliever or use other analgesics. Most people with a severe flu aren't exactly in the mood to be frisky, especially spontaneously. Many physically disabled people rely on preplanning. Having a date night where they can plan for extra pain reliever, or where they can schedule the rest of their day or week to conserve energy for a special night. The psychological energy that people need to conserve alone can take a lot of effort. Being disabled is also mentally exhausting, especially when you have a partner and their needs to consider. Giving a disabled person time to prepare for sex (or other tasks) is essential.

Related to that, is the fact the energy levels aren't always consistent. A disabled person and their lover could be going at it like rabbits for a while and then suddenly the disabled partner may need to stop because their "battery" (their physical energy levels) has run out. They may need a break for a few minutes, or they may just need to end the sexual encounter altogether.

The worst thing you (or your character) could do is take this personally. It has nothing to do with their partner, it's their body that is (frustratingly [on many levels]) not cooperating.

Something to toy with (no pun intended) when writing characters with energy level deficits is vibrators. Twice the work with half the effort. Don't be afraid to write smut with toys and vibrators -- it doesn't even have to be kinky. Toys and vibrators are normal and vanilla, all things considered. The only reason they haven't been normalized is because of patriarchal standards as to what sex is and is supposed to be.

The second thing to consider is physical limitations of positions and potential discomfort. I've seen several fanfic writers describe situations and positions that Viktor simply would never be able to do (e.g. lifting his partner onto a table or desk).

Viktor doesn't have a lot of strength. That's not to say he can't be rough or that all smut has to be vanilla. But realistically, it's absurd to think that he can lift someone else or manhandle them with any force, or thrust at the speed of light (💀). He also doesn't have any balance whatsoever post Act I. During Act I, he's able to hobble somewhat without his cane, as long as he has something to hold onto, as seen in episode three. But in Acts II and III, his balance issues combined with scoliosis would make any positions where he has to stand much more difficult.

Therefore, if you're wanting to write a scene somewhere outside of a bedroom (e.g. the lab, his office, etc.), he'd need something to balance himself. Seated sex is a great concept to play with -- very disability friendly and offers many options for all sorts of scenes. Desk/table sex is also realistic, as long as your character lifts themself onto the desk or table, and he's able to lean on it.

Scenes that take place in the bedroom also have their own limitations. He has zero use of his right leg, which means he'd need more time to get in and out of different positions. Missionary would take a toll on his back, I'd imagine, from being hunched over -- not that he couldn't do it at all, but that was more of a sidenote. Having your character straddle him, while his back was supported, is probably the most comfortable position I can imagine. Or spooning. Or maybe doggy, though I think his back and hips might get tired. But I'm just spit balling at this point. Utilizing objects from the setting is important -- pillows, having your character bent over the back of a couch, etc. This is where creativity comes in -- it's just important to keep in mind where his limitations are located on his body: his back and his leg/hip.

There are also adaptive devices for sex and disabilities.

One final thing I want to say is: don't overcorrect. This is common. It's one thing to keep a character's disability in mind, but it's another to make a disability the entire character. Just because Viktor is disabled doesn't mean he can't have the filthiest, most disgusting, raw, life changing, I-should-visit-a-confessional type of sex. However you headcanon him to be in bed is exactly how he can be. If you see him as a cruel Dom, he absolutely can slap the shit out of whoever has the pleasure of being beneath him, while he makes them beg for his mercy -- with his back and leg supported. If you see him as a bratty sub, he can be that, too -- while he lies there with a back pillow to relieve pressure off his spine. If he's the plainest, blander-than-vanilla type of lover, that's exactly what he is -- while he takes a few extra minutes to move from one position to the next. If he's any combination of those things, more power to you.

The point of writing a scene, is the point you're trying to make. Meaning: a lot of writers worry about conveying ideas and settings perfectly and with detail, while losing sight of the main point of their story. Rarely will you ever have to add paragraphs to a piece of writing in order to convey something, especially if it's not the main point. Often, it only takes one or two sentences. Keep the main point of the scene in mind. If you're writing a fic where Viktor and your character are secretly getting it on in the lab, then the point and the idea of that scene is the forbidden sex they are having. Not necessarily his limitations. You can easily acknowledge Viktor's disability by saying something like: 'Viktor sat on a chair at the far end of the lab, away from the door's line of sight. He leaned his back against the seat, allowing his spine to settle, before he coaxed his lover onto his lap. His lover straddled his legs, reaching to kiss his neck, while his hand trailed up their thighs...' You've successfully conveyed the limitations he has in two sentences, while maintaining the focus of your scene, and without reducing Viktor to a caricature of his disability. Less is more throughout your fic.

As a side note, which is completely my headcanon -- and something I've vaguely alluded to in my Viktor x Anya fics -- is that Viktor also has erectile dysfunction as a result of the PPS. Polio is a neurological virus, meaning is attacks the nerve cells, the main cause of the atrophy in PPS. It isn't common, but it's not uncommon for males with PPS to struggle with ED. As such, in my own personal stories, I have mentioned that Viktor takes medication to help with it. Sildenafil (the generic for Viagra) is a medication that specifically targets nerves.

That's my own person interpretation, though, and has no bearing on what we seen in Arcane lol.

To close this off for now, I want to reassure you that your efforts count and they matter. No one will write any depiction of disability 'perfectly'. Disability is unique to every person, and one person's spinal disability will look different to another's. Even people with the exact same diagnosis and prognosis will differ in how they experience it. You're not a dumbass. You're very intelligent to recognize the need for external resources. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the work you write, and keep asking questions.

If and when you decide to write your Viktor smut piece, I would love to read it. And likewise, if you'd like to read what I write I'd be happy to send it to you! If you're comfortable coming off anon, you can message me privately and we can talk more!

[prospectivehero]

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT GUYS!

First and foremost, I have two confessions. One, I haven't read Red Hood: Outlaws WebToon. It's on my list, but I will admit that I'm missing context. Two, though I talk about disability, my main focus is physical walking disabilities. This commentary should apply to every physically disabled human being if I'm doing this correctly, but I chose to have a specific focus for the sake of brevity.

I'd have very few nickles if I could have one for every time I saw a wheelchair-dependent character get suddenly healed. But it's still too many nickels. I can't blame Marvel or DC for my poor relationship with my own mobility aids. It didn't help anything to see Barbara Gordon or Charles Xavier suddenly be able to walk after seeing them for so long in their wheelchairs. Recovery and recuperation should never be scoffed at. We should celebrate when we can accomplish difficult goals and be happy for others who achieve what they thought was impossible. But these characters' changes aren't about recuperation. They're about ignorance.

Recuperation doesn't always mean full recovery from the viewpoint of a disabled person. Sometimes, "walking quickly" or "standing independently" isn't the end goal. It's usually more complicated than that. Small things like strengthening the core or practicing distance walking in a walker are crucial for someone's health or mobility. If it means they can walk independently in the process, then cheers! But sometimes standing isn't a possibility anymore. Many able-bodied people, without this context, may perceive this attitude as "giving up." I've had to explain to several different people that my choosing my wheelchair over my crutches to be a more functional human is not the same thing as quitting. But society has a model for success, and that model has a healthy set of legs.

Growing up, it broke my heart when I saw a character who had to experience a permanent and life-altering disability being suddenly cured. That's not a story of recuperation. That's a writer trying to "fix" something that was "wrong". I don't think the writers mean that as an insult. It's a terrible trope that's rooted in ignorance. But that ignorance is commonplace. It makes self-acceptance all the more difficult for a person who doesn't have full use of their body. Instead of being a person in a room who happens to use a wheelchair, that person suddenly becomes a paria because they are "physically incorrect."

Barbara Gordon, still paralyzed, marrying Dick Grayson is important. In their most standard form, weddings are supposed to be beautiful and romantic. Most of us dream about being the most beautiful, best versions of ourselves that we've ever been for one of the most special days of our lives. Barbara was the best version of herself when her father wheeled her down the aisle. She was Batgirl and is now Oracle, but she never stopped being Barbara. She is loved by her father, her adopted family, and her husband. The saccharine nature of that scene had nothing to do with a disabled woman being loved by an able-bodied man. It was a sappy, beautiful wedding being celebrated by our favorite dysfunctional found family.

I'm honestly really excited to read this webtoon. It is about Jason Todd, but the care and respect Patrick R. Young shows in this scene and how well it was depicted by Nico Bascuñán says a lot about how they handle the rest of whatever story they tell in this comic.

[bonefall]

I’d there any info on one eye EATING Tom??? That’s so wild but I hope one eye didn’t get heartburn from eating that dead beat

I'm still working out some key details of Thunderstar's Justice, especially since I'm at One Eye's part in my reread and things are really starting to come together.

But here's the current draft of One Eye and Skystar's tale so far, isolated from the "Grander Story" of Thunderstar's Justice;

To set some exposition a bit; Thunderstar's Justice is the SE following BB!DOTC. It begins after the First Battle. In BB, the main arc happens entirely before that point.

It opens on the burial. The sun rises on a hot summer day, the living cats commanded to bury the bodies to receive their lives.

But the day is hot and the clearing reeks. The bodies of their friends are decaying and there's too many to put to rest in one day.

(Sunlit Frost is a survivor of this fight, but he was badly bitten on the paw and yet he refuses to sit this out, digging and burying with a fresh wound. He develops an infection that permanently disables his hand. But that's off in the reeds)

The point here being that the summer stench of hot decay summons One Eye. A god of war, among other things.

And of course he takes a shine to Skystar right away. The Clans are weakened from losing so many cats, and ambitious Skystar is eager to recover his strength quickly.

So of course he is now getting more... "openminded" about accepting people into his Clan. There is a language barrier he's now considering bridging; where all his cats were previously Tribemew speakers, he decides that perhaps mean-looking Townmew and Parkmew speakers "deserve a chance"

Tom is one of them, but if there end up being any traitors, murderers, or other exiled cats from the other Clans, they are going to end up here.

NEW addition compared to previous drafts.... One Eye was quite loyal, at first. Useful, observant, helping Skystar in his plans to grow. But Skystar started noticing that One Eye was... too good at running things.

In fact he was quite charming. Always seemed to know what to do. Like he'd been a leader before.

This is still Thunderstar's story, with occasional cuts to Skystar. He isn't aware that SkyClan isn't currently planning conquest, but absolutely doesn't trust Skystar.

He's EXPANDING. He's accepted the person who got Turtle Heart killed into his Clan, plus other rogues, and Thunderstar stopped him before he was able to kill mama Bright Storm during the First Battle. No, he doesn't believe for a second that Skystar isn't planning something with those 8 extra lives he's got now.

He only hopes his own 8 will be enough as a deterrant.

It doesn't take long though. SkyClan is back on its shit and unstoppable

There's a few battles that are curbstomps, displaying how much power One Eye is lending to SkyClan. So Thunderstar has a taste of what he could have if One Eye was on his side.

At some point, Thunder remarks that the spirits were trying to give Sky a chance to change his ways, and yet he's only ever gotten worse and worse. One day it'll catch up to him!

Skystar shrugs this off. Of course. "I'm Just Trying to make my clan strong"

BUT, at one point... Tom breaks the code and kills someone. There are two rules and he just broke half of them.

And Skystar takes him aside to punish him... but One Eye comes along. In spite of Skystar trying to tell him off, because HE is supposed to be leader.

"I'll decide how to punish my own cats"

"But will you do so properly? Allow me, I've been waiting a long time for this."

"I said get out! This is MY cat and I decide what happens!"

But when Tom tries to join in on Skystar's scolding, "Yeah winky! Know your place!" One Eye bites his paw clean off.

Sky is too shocked to do anything. Tom is screaming

Is One Eye bigger, suddenly??

He has prepared the obituary ahead of time, licking his lips; "The pain you cause seeps into your meat like a flavor. You have sins deeper than your bones, soaked into your very marrow, and I will savor each bite."

Heavy_TF2_Nom.mp3

Clear Sky realizes something in this moment...

He needs One Eye, but One Eye does not need him. He is a leader. He is a monster. He is a God.

He is everything Skystar is, but stronger. Unstoppable.

And what will happen when One Eye ceases to want him around? And what did he mean-- 'waiting for this?' Sins? Flavor seeping into the meat-- like a marinade??

A lightbulb goes off in Skystar's head; "Tom was lunch and I'm going to be dinner. Good god I'm being seasoned!"

So, Tom's death is an important turning point. It's where Skystar's ambition is ground to a halt because of self-preservation. He fears death, and he fears a death as gruesome as what happened to Tom.

He realizes that what he's unleashed on the forest isn't mortal, and he has no control over the situation. He's fucked up BIG time... so badly that he needs the other Clans if any of them are going to hope to survive.

SO that is the context around Eat Tom. I'm still working on specifics here though, while this is technically a reworking of everything post-First Battle up to Thunderstar's Echo, this is practically a new story lmao.

I also left out the main story from this summary which is mostly Thunderstar as he considers what leadership means, how his anger influences his decisions but how far he's come from the main series, encouraging Bright Storm to retire and become the first elder, while connecting with Frost who feels like he's losing meaning in his life; now that both an arm and his dominant hand prevent him from building.

[chalkrevelations]

OK, no, sorry - apparently I can't wait for tomorrow on this bit.

VINDICATED by a shot of a phone screen.

And yet, I'm still seeing people chipping away at Day's agency like it couldn't be him - and his own explicitly stated and demonstrable fear of how people are going to look at him (lit. and fig.) if they know the truth - that's behind his isolation in his room or these cover stories of disappearing to the US or quitting school to focus on badminton. No, it must be his family inflicting this on him and lying about him because they're the ones who are apparently so ashamed?

I honestly don't understand why so many people seem to be jumping to the conclusion that the cover stories are things that Day's family are spreading for their own selfish reasons, rather than something he's insisting on and they're going along with - whether to allow him some autonomy in how he deals with adjusting to his disability, or simply because we've actually seen what a heinous asshole he can be to Night, at least, when he's frustrated about his situation, and who wants to deal with that? When we've seen Mork confront Day in this very episode about how Day is hiding from his friends? Nothing is stopping Day from answering all those various - literally thousands of - social media messages from his friends that we see sitting unanswered on his phone screen. If Day wanted people to know what was actually happening, he'd tell them. Is there actual evidence in the show that I'm missing, that Night and Ramon are the ones making up the cover stories, let alone preventing him from telling anyone the truth?

Night - the guy who was all, "calm yourself, Mother, he's finally agreed to leave the house, perhaps we could encourage this and not ignominiously sack the guy who managed to make it happen;" the guy who has been Mork's defender from Day Negative-One, based on how good Mork is at getting Day out of his shell and regaining his life and his prior self - Night's apparently making the decision to lie to all and sundry to hide what's happened to Day? Why? Why would he want Mork around and taking Day outside where anybody could run into him, then? Not to mention that we've seen the vicious response Night gets from Day when he pushes back on what Day wants, so why would he be telling tales against Day's will, rather than giving in to what Day wants him to tell people? If Day didn't want Night telling the school that he was focusing on badminton, instead of the truth, he is demonstrably capable of ripping Night a new one over it. It's not like Day's not going to find out what Night told his academic advisor, and Night doesn't seem the least bit worried or guilty about Day going to talk to the guy and comparing stories. Until we learn otherwise, I'm operating under the assumption that this is what Day told Night to tell the school. What is Night supposed to do, tell everyone Day's business against Day's will? Wherefore Day's autonomy in that situation?

Night is the one who's looking at Day with hope rather than apprehension whenever Day makes a move to be more independent and move out of his shell - to get the sauce from the cabinets on his own, to leave the house. Yes, my guy was uptight about Day coming into the Shining Institute with him in Ep 1 and yelled about how hard it can be to take care of Day, and I think all of that's perfectly understandable - it's terrifying to suddenly find yourself completely responsible for someone's well-being, particularly someone who will literally put themself in danger to spite you, and he's dealing with a guy who's refused to come out of his room and learn to move around his own house, now wanting to wander around the world with no practice?

Also, wow, god forbid a mom be protective of her baby and have to learn to let go some.

I really feel like there are people determined to impute sinister motives to Day's family when they really are just people who have - like many, many people - never really had to deal with disability in their life and are suddenly having to learn how, all while being shut out by a family member who's going through their own shit and who they're having to carefully calibrate where they think they should fall on allowing him his autonomy, avoiding the way he lashes out at them when he's frustrated and angry, and trying to learn what's actually the best way to help him. I reiterate, they're not doing this perfectly, there's more they could do, but I also don't think they're getting a lot of credit for the fact that they can only do what Day will allow.

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

Not attacking, and I'm prefacing this cause I saw the previous anon comment, but as someone who agrees without you heavily on Ironwood and not knowing that Arnold guy I don't think his statement was being ableist.

He was commenting on Ironwood hiding his emotions to the point of throwing away his humanity. He didn't mention anything about Ironwood's prosthetics nor him sacrificing his arm to stop Watts.

I still disagree with him, but this is coming off as something that could be said about a character who without prosthetics. It's just that Rooster Teeth has had the repeated comments about Ironwood and absolute tone deaf nature of Ironwood, Yang, and Penny. But I don't think that Arnold guy meant anyting like they did.

Hi anon! People are allowed to disagree with me, that’s fine. It’s when they start attacking me as a person and hurling insults that we have a problem. And while I do see your point I also do have to disagree with it. It’s….impossible really to separate Ironwood from the ableism of his writing because his fall solely relies on it. Arnold here is saying the writing is good despite the extremely rushed nature of his fall. This is a character who just hours in universe before seared the flesh off of his own arm to stop a terrorist no suddenly wants to drop bombs on people. All being repeatedly tied back to his super scary looking prosthetic. Their is just no way he isn’t aware of the extremely ableist nature of Ironwoods writing and this feels like trying to do damage control on RT’s behalf and try and find an “okay” reason to strip Ironwood of his humanity.

I had been thinking about this before I got this ask before you sent it and I even have issue with the idea of a bad person being less “human” it paints this very black and white view of humanity and pretends that really bad people are obvious to see because they are “less human” when sadly that’s not how it works. Really bad people are good at hiding their true nature, it’s how they lure victims in and how they keep their victim isolated from others. It’s harmful because it tells people that if someone doesn’t immediately look or act like a monster then they’re a good person which just hurts people harmed by that bad person.

On the note of intentions. A person having good intentions doesn’t negate the harm caused by the persons words or make them not ableist. A person saying something like “wow you’re so good at X despite being Y” is still harmful. Though the person is trying to say something nice, it still hurts and is harmful.

Back to the main point, I suppose for me, even with only implying he’s lost his humanity due to tossing his emotions away, the question still needs to be ask, why is this being done to the disabled character? Why is it them specifically that over and over again have arcs regarding their lost humanity? How could he listen to RT declaring he lost his humanity when he lost his arm and not see the ableism in that writing and then turn around and continue to push this idea of lost humanity under any circumstance? For me, it’s hard to find any justification for saying a person lost their humanity when we’re dealing with a character who has no say in their actions. They are puppets for the writers to use as they please. Though CR/WBY tries to pretend they’re just telling the factual story of these characters and therefore “had” to do what they did…that’s not the case at all. They chose to give Ironwood more focus then the mains in volume 7, they chose to write him and his motivations as complex and not put that some thought into the mains. They then got mad fans liked him better then the mains, threw a fit and butchered his character to make said mains look better.

Yes he has always been set up to potentially fall, the issue is they sped run said fallen hero arc at breakneck speeds in an unbelievable and ableist manner that makes it impossible to see anything well done in the arc because it happened so fast and out of nowhere. The original falling out was entirely based on RW/BY’s repeated lies coming to the surface and Ironwoods trust in them shattering. He’s under tremendous stress and is having to make decisions I would never wish anyone had to make. It’s a horrific trolly problem that will inevitably lead to death and Ironwood would most certainly feel like that blood is on his hands even though it’s Salem killing people and Salem forcing him to make these choices. Personally I’m not fond at all of condemning someone for making less that stellar choices in a hellish situation where all they’re trying to do is survive (I don’t think Ironwoods decisions where all that bad but like for arguments sake). Until you’ve lived through a situation like that it’s hard to comprehend how terrible it is.

At the end of the day, best case scenario Arnold’s comment was tone deaf and not thought through. And even if that is merely the case it still sits really wrong with me given how CR/WBY treated the triple amputee with PTSD and acted like his prosthetics where what made him lose his humanity. That is harmful and so heavily tied into his fall to villainy it’s impossible to untangle it.

[spenzitz]

S/O WITH CHRONIC PAIN(bachira and chigiri)

how bachira and chigiri take care of their s/o with chronic pain, gn!reader,

i'm chronically ill and disabled so that's what i had in mind when writing this, but i think i wrote it so you can also see it as migrane comfort or something like that

a/n ~ planning on making another part with reo, isagi, and rin, maybe another character marie (@marycorn) said i would like but.... we'll see... words~765

BACHIRA

you’ve always known bachira to be your personal energizer bunny. not a day went by where he wasn’t bouncing off the walls or talking your ear off about video games or soccer. but right now, he was anything but loud or energetic. right now, he was present, with you.

it’d been a rough day for you, hardly able to move around the house throughout the day. when bachira had to help you get ready that morning, as you could just barely hold your arms up on your own, he knew he would stay home with you. not because he didn’t think you could take care of yourself, but because he’d just end up being worried about you all day.

you and bachira were camped out on the couch all day in comfy clothes and surrounded by all the blankets he could find. he had brought you your pillow so you could lay down if you wanted to or use it for adding pressure on your body. other than going on a run halfway through the day to get out of the house and relieve his built-up energy, bachira was right next to you all day.

usually, bachira would grab you and cuddle you like a teddy bear however he pleased. but today, he waited for you to come to him. he gave you space while still being there for you, idly watching tv and lightly petting your hand every so often.

when you did eventually lay your head on his lap, he’s giddy from depriving himself of your affection all day. still though, despite his excitement, he’s gentle with you. he rubs your arm up and down a few times before bringing his hand up to your head and lacing. his fingers on your scalp. bachira gently moves his fingers, massaging your scalp hesitantly, not wanting to bug you.

all his fears are washed away the instant he hears you mumble, “feels good, meguru.” he keeps running his fingers over your head as you until you doze off, finally getting the rest you so desperately needed.

CHIGIRI

“bad day?” chigiri asks you as he shuts off your alarm you’ve snoozed at least three times now. you pick up your phone and check the time. it’s an hour past the time you were supposed to be up. you sigh and place your phone down. “bad day.” you say, starting to think of all the things you really needed to get done, but you’re sure you won’t.

chigiri sits down beside you in bed as you sit up, wincing at the pain. chigiri gently wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his chest. for a few moments, he doesn’t say anything. just holds you and wills for your pain to go away.

you hesitate to lean into him for a moment. you can’t stop thinking about all the things you really need to get done. you think about how much stress you're going to have tomorrow trying to catch up from your off day. all these things suddenly don’t seem as important when chigiri begins slowly tracing shapes on your back. they’ll just have to wait until tomorrow, you think. giving up any resistance, you lean into chigiri and rest your head on his shoulder. you let yourself breathe in the smell of his expensive conditioner, letting all the troubled thoughts leave you.

“you know if i could take it all away from you, i would.” he breathes out. it’s quiet. like a secret, he doesn’t want to admit. it breaks him to know that he can’t. he can’t take it from you, he can’t help you in any meaningful way. he feels so helpless.

you don’t respond. instead, you keep breathing in his flowery scent. letting yourself be here. because as nice as his words are, they’re just words. you still have to live like this. if it could be fixed, it would be. but it can’t, and it won’t. but they are incredibly sweet words. sweet enough to warm your heart at least a little.

after a while, chigiri pulls away only to bring his hands to hold your face. he leans your head to the side and places a firm kiss on your cheek.

“breakfast? some food would be good for you,” he says it like a question, but he takes your hands and pulls you up out of bed, not really giving you an option.

“i guess you’re right. thanks, hyoma” you say, reaching to pull his head down and tilting it to the side to return his kiss from before.

i want to write more stuff like this with multiple characters.. i just love seeing how different characters would be in the prompt...

requests ~ open!

masterlist

[rjalker]

What I don't fucking understand is that people can understand that when exclusionists were attacking "the asexual invaders" they were not just attacking asexual people, they were also attacking aromantic people, and aplatonic people, and neurodivergent people, but they never explicitly said they were attacking all of these groups -- they lumped everyone together under the word "asexual".

This is something people who give a shit about aspec people understand.

But somehow, when people like JK Rowling or fucking any American republican you can think of starts screaming about how the evil trans people are tricking young autistic girls into transitioning, and we need to stop young girls from ruining their lives by transitioning ---

Somehow everyone just fucking goes along and takes them at their word and nods along like "Yes, yes, of course we don't want cis autistic girls transitioning if they're not trans!! Of course!!!"

Rather than cutting through the bullshit and aknowleding that these fucking bigots are not talking about young girls. They're talking about autistic AFAB trans people.

They are misgendering trans men and nonbinary people and banning us from being able to transition and all the people who supposed support trans and disabled people are just fucking fine with this, and just going along with this, except for literally us????? the ones being targeted with this fucking bullshit?????

Republicans are not fucking making it illegal to transition because they're worried about young cis girls making choices they might regret! They're making it illegal to transition because they fucking hate trans people! And they especially fucking hate autistic trans people!

They fucking hate trans men and nonbinary people and they do not want us to fucking transition! They do not want us to get rid of our precious precious fucking uteruses because then how else are we supposed to make babies for them?? What's the good of banning abortion if we transition in a way that prevents us from getting pregnant in the first place?

People who have fucking morals understand that when Republicans talk about dangerous "trans men" trying to sneak into women's spaces that they're misgendering and demonizing trans women.

But as soon as they start fucking talking about "young girls" who need to be protected from the scary trans people, who are "mutilating themselves", (removing our fucking breasts that they're attracted to, removing our ability to give birth their babies) then suddenly everyone pretends not to understand they're talking about fucking AFAB trans people.

Because even the most staunch "trans inclusive feminists" fucking forget that we exist. They literally think language around pregnancy needs to be made inclusive for trans women's sake, because the idea of trans men and nonbinary people who can get pregnant has never fucking entered their mind, and they don't fucking listen to trans women when they explain, "No, I am not the one that's for!"

You cannot fucking pretend that conservatives screaming about protecting little girls from mutilating themselves by taking away even more of our bodily autonomy than they already have is not about attacking trans people.

Just because the fucking feminists who hate trans people refuse to also talk about us when they talk about the right to an abortion does not mean you get to pretend that we don't fucking exist and pretend we're not being attacked.

An attack on women's rights is inherently an attack on trans men and nonbinary people's rights. Just because you fucking hate that we're not women does not mean you get to pretend we're not also literally losing our rights.

Conservatives do not fucking care about protecting "young girls". They fucking hate trans men and nonbinary people and would rather kill us and strip us of every single one of our rights than let us transition because they see our transitions as mutilation. Because without our breasts, they will no longer find us sexually appealing. And without the ablity to give birth to their babies, there's no longer any point in us existing.

Stop fucking pretending that trans men and nonbinary people aren't being fucking stripped of our rights just because the people taking our right away misgender us while doing it. For fuck's sake.

You don't fucking take bigots at their word when they scream about trans women being "predatory men" so why the fuck have you decided that they're telling the truth when they talk about how they need to protect "young girls"?????

The conservatives who want us dead are infantilizing literally half the trans fucking population as an excuse to strip us of our rights and force us to be their fucking breeding stock and you're all happy to go along with it and pretend it's not happening because they're misgendering us and you want to pretend that means they're not talking about us in the first place.

If you fucking claim that trans men and nonbinary people aren't being targeted by any fucking laws because you fucking take conservatives at their word and join in on them misgendering us, you can go fuck yourself.

Sticking your head in the sand and pretending it's not happening isn't going to fucking solve anything except make it clear how much of a self-centered asshole you are.

[house-of-slayterr]

Being autistic is weird as fuck, because you’ve never experienced NOT being autistic. Like autism is unfortunately measured by how not allistic we are. Like it’s directly proportional. It’s not autistic people decided that were different and that difference is wrong. But HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WERE DIFFERENT?

I’ve never been anyone but myself. How am I supposed to know that I don’t feel things the same way as everyone else? How am I supposed to know that I talk weird? Like how should I know that I can’t read social cues, if I’m unable to read social cues? Hello? My inability to understand the task, makes me unable to understand that I’m unable to understand the task!

Like to get an official diagnosis you have to rely on the fact that other people looked at you as a kid and went “that’s weird, it’s not supposed to do that!” And then their “cure” is to just tell you “well stop doing that.” Like gee thanks bud, never thought of that. If I could just turn off my autism you think I wouldn’t have tried by now? You’re the reason my autism is even stigmatised in the first place!

My autism specifically comes with the complete inability to introspect. Like so much of my problems as a kid would have been solved if I just realised “oh, this is an autism thing” instead of being like “oh, well I just must suck at everything, and this is how everyone feels, so why am I the only one having a mental breakdown?”

But also phrases like “everyone’s on the spectrum” are so harmful, cause they just aren’t true!!!! When I was having anxiety attacks as a kid, my mom would always say “well everyone has anxiety.” Which made me think I was just weak, when in reality I have a mental illness that had treatment options and I could have gotten help the whole time, if people stoped minimising disorders.

“We’ll everyone’s a little depressed.” No- no they are not. There are people out there that have never experienced having a brain with mental illness. But my brains always been sick, and when you can only view the world from a sick brain, how would you ever know there were healthy brains out there?

Especially since things like mental illness and learning disabilities or physical disabilities are all hush hush. We aren’t supped to talk about them because it’s “inappropriate” somehow. And then they make you feel crazy when you do talk about it. Like parents who beg their kids to “just be normal” THIS IS MY NORMAL!!! I can’t be like you because I’m not you, and I don’t know how to pretend to be. And I shouldn’t have to!

You don’t suddenly become autistic when someone slaps the label on you. Which is why I always respect self diagnosis, because you know you better than anyone else ever could.

Another story to prove my point. Let’s talk about being LGBT on top of that. My entire life I always thought everyone was Bi. Like I assumed everyone just happened to end up in straight relationships, because how could people not think boys and girls are both pretty? I had no reference to know otherwise.

And after that, I assumed everyone was asexual. I didn’t have a term for it at the time, but I genuinely though everyone was joking about enjoying sex or being horny. Because I’d never experienced those things before, I couldn’t fathom what they were meant to feel like. And if I didn’t feel it as a “normal” human, everyone must just be playing an inside joke I don’t understand right?

But if I just had labels when I was young, I would have understood these things. People who ask “why would you want to diagnose your kid, they’re so young?” Or parents who withhold a diagnosis cause you think if you ignore it, your kid will be “normal” somehow. That’s not how it works. A diagnosis or label can make the world less scary, and often times it can bring you to people who can help you navigate the world. Instead of trying to force you to see it through their eyes.

Autism isn’t dirty. Mental illness isn’t dirty. Disabilities aren’t dirty. And being LGBTQ isn’t dirty!

Children of all ages should have access to knowledge of these things. Because to the people who are part of these groups, labels and information are vital. They’re a huge part of who we are and they aren’t going to go away just because you don’t want to say the words.

Children should have access to knowledge about how their bodies and brains function. This would help kids feel less ostracised and alone, and prevent a lot of pain and trauma in the world.

[nova-alien-rants]

been thinking a lot about the concept of black and white thinking.

i've always been told "you think in extremes too much, your mind exists only in black and white," and i'd be lying if i were to say that isn't true about myself. but the more i've worked on my own black and white thinking, the more i've come to realize the rest of the world is just as guilty of this very thing they don't hesitate to call me out for.

and this isn't to say that those who have called me out on my own thinking and behavior are mean, bad, or anything like that by any means. i just find it to be an interesting irony how i'm constantly told i struggle to live in shades of gray when those who tell me this have the same exact issue, albeit maybe in slightly different ways.

i will say that my black and white thinking has significantly improved, hence me coming to this realization as i outgrow my old outlook on the world and society as a whole. i don't believe myself to be anywhere near perfect but i do think it's worth mentioning that so many issues would be solved if people were simply more self aware and willing to work on this prevalent flaw.

why is it that when i say i prefer being on the cooler side than hot, people seem to think i love freezing temperatures? why is it that when i tell someone i don't have a huge sweet tooth, they believe i live my life completely devoid of all sugar? why is it that when i explain how severe my executive dysfunction is, they turn around and say they're shocked i'm not practically a vegetable?

why is it that when i inform someone of my disabled status, they retort with a sentiment on how i can't possibly be disabled because i can technically walk and do basic human tasks? why is it that when i bring up that my method of self love also involves some firmness they accuse me of not loving myself at all? does balance not actually exist for anyone? have i suddenly become the outlier?

it's honestly a very bizarre feeling to live with and one i'm not quite sure how to compartmentalize. am i supposed to feel angry? sad? confused? or maybe even none of the above? everyone has kept telling me to work on myself, and now that i have, it seems like they never did the exact thing they've kept hounding me to do.

does this mean i've outgrown them? am i supposed to call them out on this backwards phenomenon? are they even aware of it happening? am i supposed to help them with this issue, or accept that this is what my growth has led me to and drop them? but what am i supposed to do if these individuals are highly healed and intelligent in all other aspects?

i believe every single thing in the universe has two sides, two forces if you will; these two are always opposite, forever polar. but is the human race as a whole so used to merely allowing one or the other to fully prevail that they never stop to consider the fact that balance is a requirement for harmony? for peace, for happiness, for tranquility, for beauty, for contentment?

it's strange to witness those who advocate so loudly for balance to be convicted of the very crime they seem to oppose. i don't hate them for it, nor do i blame them. the more i think about it, the more i realize that it's likely because humans as a species simply struggle to truly view anything from a balanced lens. our ancestors never learned so we never had anyone to teach us. we are the first ones to make such a profound revolution in philosophical and realistic thinking.

and i don't believe that this will ever be something everyone will achieve. especially not those who have become so engulfed in their own egos they fail to even see outside of themselves, forget reexamining the very way they view the world on a fundamental level. they don't want to admit anything about them is wrong, especially not their thinking, so be it.

but i think for a very large number of us whom don't want to be like that and have seen the underbelly of society, whom have undergone unspeakable horrors, atrocities, torture, and abuse, we have no choice but to tear down the walls of how the world works and build our own from the ground up. we need to in order to stay sane. those whom have been more fortunate never needed to care.

but maybe the black and white walls needed to be demolished in order to be replaced with gray ones. maybe we will see a gradual shift in society's thinking. it's a particularly odd and frankly nerve-racking thing to think about sometimes.

[darksidescorner]

Hey! I'm still making the fanfic, I've just been busy recently.

I'd like to take this time to talk about a piece of it, and a wider trait of V. Octavius, as well as how I imagine Miguel in this.

Fair Warning: this post is kinda long and 100% not proofread. It's a big rant.

Olivia wears a giant backpack out in public. I'll draw it one day. Think this, but bigger.

She has 4 holes in it, just like her shirts do, and she puts her tentacles in there. Lining the holes are electric magnets, which attach at the base of the tentacles. This make it to where it just looks like she has a very full, very big bag. And to be fair, carrying large bags is somewhat common in 2099, so it looks normal. That's the point.

Semi-related rant/lore dump ahead:

"But Darkside, why doesn't she just take the tentacles off?" you may ask. The simple answer is, she can't.

The spine was originally meant to be worn temporarily. It served as an extra-stable device that allowed her to be extra precise as she performed extremely delicate surgeries. However, it was always taken off at the end of the day, when she went home from work. It connected directly to her nervous system, very carefully. She didn't abstain any damage, because it was very temporary, and her body always had recovery time.

However, once Alchemax finally managed to get her failsafes disabled, she was fucked. She couldn't take it off. The power button can only be hit by the tentacles in a very precise place. This is to prevent her from accidentally bonking something and suddenly losing the spine. And when the tentacles basically ran her instead of vice versa, they prevented her from taking the spine off. This lead to her wearing them full-time, when they weren't supposed to be.

Eventually, when the failsafes got fixed and she was finally back in control years later, she managed to get some skilled doctors to try and take the tentacles off. But when they tried, it went terribly. If the doctors hadn't stopped the process, she would have sustained a spinal cord injury (SCI). Because she was wearing the tentacles for so long, her organic spine accepted the mechanical spine and tentacles as part of it. Essentially, by taking off the tentacles, she was ripping apart her nervous system.

So, instead of going into shock and possibly dying, the doctors in charge of removal stopped the process and put it back. Olivia was still in worlds of pain, but it wasn't as bad as what could of been. She still needed pain meds and medical attention, but it wasn't as bad as what could have been. Her back hurts a lot some days, especially around the pins, but she's generally okay.

End rant/lore dump.

Just like Miguel, she's very conscious of her differences and would like to blend in as much as possible to normal society. Her and Miguel both hide the "abnormal" aspects of themselves to the general public. They don't want people to recognize them for those traits, and they sure as hell don't want questions. Both of them have different reasons for it, and both of them respect and support each other's decisions. As seen above, they even help each other with it.

They are both rather self-conscious. Olivia because she's somewhat known by different scientific communities as Doc Ock, and she hates being recognized as evil. She still catches stares from people who somewhat recognize her face, and she avoids eye contact like hell. The glasses she wears, surprisingly, help hide her. She used to wear contacts as Doc Ock, because they meant her glasses couldn't get knocked off her face. She hated putting the contacts in, mind you. But if it meant she could fight easier, she'd do it. However, in her post-Ock life, she never needed to fight again, nor did she want to. So she went back to wearing glasses.

You'd be surprised how effective the Clark Kent method is. Her and Miguel both use it. He wears aviators to hide his red eyes, and surprisingly it works. Even if he gets somewhat funny looks for wearing sunglasses indoors, it's still better than having people stare at his eyes. Last thing he needs are tabloids being like "wHo iS tHiS mYsTeRy MuTaNt?" He hates the idea of being viewed as some cryptid monster. Unfortunately, in the past 150 years, tabloids haven't changed. They're still annoying and invasive to others' privacy. And while Miguel isn't super well known as the CEO of Alchemax, he knows how distinct he looks in general.

Olivia has similar issues. She doesn't want people to perceive her as anything other than A Woman Living Her Life. Unfortunately, she doesn't always get that. Every once in a while, she'll see an article about her get posted, sometimes with photos neither her or Miguel knew were taken. When that happens, she usually doesn't go out into public for a little while. She either does administrative work from her and Miguel's home in the Babylon Towers, or she stays at HQ for a while. Usually it's at HQ, because she can go see Miguel whenever she wants. If she stays at HQ, Miguel usually stays there too. Unfortunately, Miguel can't really work from home, so staying with her isn't an option. They still spend plenty of time together when Miguel comes home.

If someone isn't slick about trying to get photos of Olivia, for example on the train, Miguel will turn to block her from view. Miguel knows he's a giant, and uses that to his advantage. Unfortunately, Olivia doesn't have that kind of an advantage. But if she did, she'd do it for him too. She hasn't yet come up with a way to stop people from taking photos yet, so she just holds his hand and warns him when someone has their camera on him. They usually change routes if they're walking together, or he just turns away from them if they're on the train.

Thankfully, both of them work in a place that doesn't require them to hide themselves. They don't have to hide it, because everyone there has something "different" to their universe's society. As soon as they get to HQ, Miguel's aviators and Olivia's purse come off. Taking off the purse is MUCH easier than getting it on. All she has to do is set the purse on a table level to it's usual height, disengage the magnets, and then walk forward. As she walks, she extends the tentacles and shuffles around in the purse to slide it off.

Funny enough, for a while Olivia didn't take off the backpack even at HQ. This was after she learned that some Spiders are afraid of her in some way, shape, or form due to their own experiences with their respective Doc Ocks. As stated above, she doesn't want to be feared. It took a lot of encouragement from Miguel to take the bag off, as well as multiple panels where she gave her story and Spiders could openly ask her questions. These panels lead to an FAQ page for new Spiders to read about her. Some questions are (questions are blue, she is purple):

"Can I spar with you?" "No. Please do not ask me to train you. I do not fight anymore and do not wish to start again."

"Can I ask about your past whenever I have a specific question?" "Sure! If it's a bad time or day, I'll tell you. Make sure you read the document on me as well as thr FAQ first."

"Do you let other Spiders work with you?" "Absolutely! I work in more domestic and administrative departments of running the Society. If you're ever interested in that, let me know."

"Do the tentacles get tired?" "Not unless I'm tired. There's no muscles in there, so there's no lactic acid that builds up or anything like that. The only way for them to "get tired" is if I'm tired."

"I need help with something. Can I come to you with it?" "Please do!"

On top of all this, Miguel encourages new recruits to talk to her and ask her for anything they need. He does a lot to make sure the new recruits aren't afraid. He actually actively redirects people to her, and if they're too scared or nervous to go alone, Peter B. may escort and stick with them.

She always cries a little when a recruit's Spider-Sense stops going off around her. It's happy tears.

—————

I don't really know how to close this out other than to say I'm sorry this is so long and I'm sorry it's a total rant. I wanted to explain her backpack and give some lore, but it ended up going off the rails. Oops.

@pinkpinkspidey (if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know)

[aliensunflower-fics]

'bad heart and knees' not to pry but are you disabled? is that why you have a donations thing on your blog? I know this might be personal so you dont need to answer im just curious ヽ（≧□≦）ノ

I'm not officially disabled. No doctor has ever told me as much but that's mostly because when I've gone to the doctor they focus only on my weight and ignore my concerns. I'm hoping to change that soon. The donation thing is actually something else. Anyway uhhh warning bit of a rant about my health read if you want??? I guess??? Also explanation about donation thing.

I damaged both my knees a lot growing up due to several accidents and incidents and even have some faded scars on them they have good days and bad the weather can effect them a lot somedays I wake up and they just ache due to the rain. So stairs and me don't get along much.

As for my heart I don't know WHAT is up with it exactly, its been kinda weird ever since I was a skinny child to now. And by weird I mean it HURTS when I'm suddenly forced to run or climb up lots of stairs (a single flight or two is fine but climbing up 7 like I have to do to get up to my apartment really takes it out of me). For years I just thought I was unhealthy but then I found out that its not suppose to like hurt when you run, wind you? yes. beat faster? yes. not pound so much it hurts. I also found out my heart does not appreciate planes much my first flight overseas I was struggling to breathe my heart was fluttering and I was light headed the whole time. A few people in the medical field have told me it might be a blood pressure thing? Or a weak heart. I hope to figure it out eventually when I find a doctor who will listen to me.

As for the donation thing, well its there due to my mental health actually. I got really badly depressed and stopped writing for years due to the fact I felt like my hobbies were 'useless' therefor not good enough to do or share. Eventually I was suggested adding a donation button not to make money per-say (though I will be honest it does help pay for things I'm not exactly rich) but in order to help my brain acknowledge there is value in hobbies and in creating. I don't need to write a book for writing to still have value and by having a donation button I force my own brain to acknowledge that I see this as a worthwhile thing to do. Honestly I didn't think it would work but surprisingly it did slowly being forced to add that donation link made me recognize that I see what I do as having worth even if no one ever donates and I make zero money its WORTH doing to me, and thats all it needs to be.

So uhh yeah that was longer then I thought. I don't mind telling yall more about me but its also odd your so curious about me im so boring.

[rungalwaysheretolisten]

So I’m going to probably delete this later. But I thought I would put my thoughts about AI kill Rp in real life. This isnt me against Rp AI. I myself like to play and find myself using these apps a lot.

This is just my thoughts about it. Nothing negative or positive. Just thoughts. Both understand the pro and cons of this new technology, and how things are changing.

Let start off with why so many people like playing with these apps, and doing role-playing on these apps. Or what I’m going to call are the pros.

The pros to this is one, no judgment in your grammar. These apps do not judge if you spell things incorrect in fact, they don’t care if you’re not very good at writing at all all it cares about are the specific words you put into the program, and then it generates a response. no judge maleness, it just knows a bit of what you’re trying to say is it perfect no but again it’s not an actual human being, writing it and as a person with dyslexia, it makes me feel a little more confident. for years, I always stress out about Rp with real people. With my disability, it’s sometimes hard to explain to people that my grammar is bad because I’m dyslexic and yes, sometimes I can use apps like talking to it but talking and writing grammar are two different things. I can talk to, but I will not understand how I’m supposed to Grammarly make the word look right.

This would upset some people, or even those who were not kind and understanding, piss them off to the point where they would bully me. This might get personal because again I am a person with the dyslexia and this is a disability that people don’t really understand because it’s not something you can see but are used to constantly have to stress out who I was going to Rp with, and who were friendly with people with dyslexia. That is why I also put on my blog that I’m dyslexic, but doing these AI. I’ve never had to explain that to a machine I just get to be myself no correcting my grammar no stressing about that just having fun writing a story and I can see why so many people like this app because of that reason and it’s probably a major reason why people go to these apps.

Another reason you can do almost anything with these apps yes, there are some limits like the grammar issues with them or that they might mistake some of the writing or forget what was written a couple of hours ago but if you put keywords and reminders, they can remember some details And you never have to stress out about finishing rp.  It’s always there and you can always go back to it when you’re ready.  if you hyper fixate on one Pacific thing and then suddenly you’re hyper fixating on something else it’s OK because you still have a safe file to go back to it later if you want to versus Rp with a person it can seem rude, or even disrespectful to stop the Rp. unlike humans these AI’s are patient as well as not really caring if you finish the Rp or not. Doesn’t feel like they did something wrong or guilty. It’ll be there when you’re ready something that different and kind of nice.

Finally, there only for your own eyes to see. Meaning you didn’t reblog it on your blog to get judged only you can open your phone, computer, and see you Rp. You can create stories and no one has to see them if you wanna show them you can but mostly no one can really see the rps.  so there’s no one to judge your grammar or to cringe of the writing you did only you get to see that and you can only feel cringe if you don’t like it, but the beautiful thing is you can also delete it and not have to look at it ever again it’s kind of therapeutic that you can write things and then delete them later, yes the programming might remember some of the writing that you did, and might use it for helping out other rps, but still, it was your own writing, and it can be very therapeutic. It doesn’t have to be rp it could be simply a rant to a computer and to something you can vent or be creative to help heal your heart or make you feel a little less stress.

Of course there are and one of the big ones for me is I don’t get to make friends AI is not a place where you get to actually talk to it as if it’s a real friend sure it talks and generates ideas and stuff but it’s not the same as saying, it has the same hobbies as you or actually feels real Like a real human being is writing their own thoughts and ideas maybe in the future it might do that, but for now it’s not capable of doing that.

Another con is that sometimes you have to correct it a lot sometimes you have to delete or even write what you’re wanting it to write for you the pro of this is you get to do that versus a human who might not want to change the plot or make it work for your own benefit but it’s still feels tiring because then you’re just writing to yourself and not really experiencing the rp but rather you’re writing your own story, which is way different then rp. Finally sometimes it can get boring, and things can repeat several times or frustrating even because again it is a machine, not a human being. You can’t have a conversation to tell it to do the thing that you wanted to. Do you have to type it up yourself and that can be frustrating.

With all this said, it’s still has dominated rp and that is why I feel it is destroyed rp in real life because the pros outweigh the cons and because there is no judgmental Ness which is the biggest thing that draws people to it and a person with Disability for me it draws me into it a lot because these communities can be judgmental but an AI is just doing what it’s programmed to do. It hasn’t been programmed yet to judgment you you might think, it’s judging you but it’s more of the lines of accepting what you like and wanting to please you which can be kind of scary because then it’s always trying to pleaseyou and that could be later down the road with more technology growing kind of scary but again the pros outweigh the cons people like the AI more than regular Rp or at least I feel that is the case and maybe we could do an experiment. and what I mean is I would like to put out a pole sometime to ask you all if you are more comfortable Rp with an AI versus a human being.

 I think it’d be very educational and hypothesis is this that’ll probably be a big chunk of people saying yes they do feel more comfortable Rp with an AI then with RP people because the pros outweigh the cons.

So yeah, that’s just my thoughts on it. I hope this wasn’t too long for you guys to read but I thought I would just put out my thoughts about this. 

[decaffeinatedchaosdemon]

Hi everyone, happy disability pride month. I just wanted to share my experiences without the Karens and relatives of Facebook. I was diagnosed with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy at 10.

Growing up I didn't think it was a disability because I was doing everything everyone else did in school. I didn't need a wheelchair, and usually as long as I don't have any of the sodas I like or don't play the games other kids play, I was ok. But last year, as I walked around the job fair looking for one more means of steady independence for my adult self, the embarrassed looks on nearly everyone's faces told me otherwise.

I went with my partner to a Job Fair in the city we hope to move to, in hopes of supporting him (now he's a guard, but still) and finding opportunities of my own. We split up and explored the booths, and I went to go look for desk jobs, because it's what my brain works best with. Legally, due to my seizures, I cannot drive nor will I ever be able to for the foreseeable future. Nevertheless, I went up, smiled, put on my networking voice, maintained good eye contact and introduced myself, just like we were all taught. This seemed to work with a lot of the potential employers! But when I explained my situation, everything changed. Eye contact stopped. The free flowing conversation and hopes turned to "I'm sorry, we've got nothing for you, miss." and they'd all wish me a nice day and good luck.

For context, the disabled community has made cases for and have been denied telework. As of 2019, 70% of disabled workers who have gone to court for this accommodation lost. Not only this, but for ages we have begged for remote learning and medical care, and repeatedly we were told it's impossible. Impossible.

Suddenly it's 2020 and a pandemic shuts down schools, businesses, and everyone has been ordered to stay home. It didn't take long for everybody to feel the pinching and the pressure of not being able to go out and provide. Suddenly, remote working becomes a household phrase. People, abled and disabled, log into their jobs and to making their honest livings. It seems like this could become a real thing, right?

Wrong.

Now the world is bouncing back from the chaos of last year, and businesses open back up again. Which brings this back full circle. Now that the world is normalizing, the accomodations made within mere weeks of abled people not being able to commute, have for the most part gone backsies "with less of a need for it".

Thank you for reading this chapter of my story. Writing this, I have decided I will share one more part of my life just to show another truth of life. I'm constantly meading out what I drink, because I love caffeine, it helps me wake up from the nights often sleepless because of meds. Or getting tipsy feels like the uncertainty of a seizure, so you just don't. And cutting everything out and not having any real appetite because the brain signals that are supposed by meds so you don't go down, also tell you you're hungry, so when I'm out with my large chubby hubby-looking partner and just stick to my soup and water while he gets a burger and coke, he gets dirty looks because not having had any will to eat since 2009 sucks and I'm a thin mint with a big boi. But he is a food pusher who reminds me to eat. People don't care.

Getting adult diapers and getting picked on by old ladies because I obviously haven't just given birth, or I'm too young for them, sucks. I can't even vent to my family about having an invisible disability because my sister has it far worse with arthritis and digestive issues, and she's younger too. I don't even really spend time with them doing fun stuff because they don't understand overstimulation, and their answer is just to cut it out. So I've been becoming more and more isolated in my own home. My partner is my only true safety.

And that's the shit in between the seizures media use as comedic relief.

[brightgnosis]

My Mother in Law has now decided that the reason the Kitchen has gone the way of the garbage heap isn't directly because no one is doing kitchen duty ... It's now because "we have two magnets for the Dishwasher and it's obviously confused all of us somehow" and that's why no one is doing kitchen duty properly anymore 😡 Absolute freaking nonsense.

For background: We have a magnet on the Dishwasher that's divided in half. The top half says "Dirty", and the bottom half says "Clean"; in theory the way it's supposed to go is that when you put a new load in and start it up, you turn it to "Clean". And whenever it's unloaded, whoever unloads it turns it to "Dirty".

This worked incredibly well for a while because there was a verbal agreement we made that they (mostly my Father in Law) would unload the dishwasher and I would load it, and the little magnet helped us easily keep track of when that was done since we all live on completely different floors.

Except my Brother in Law moved in after his divorce, and somehow, without any consultation at all, it primarily became his "job" to unload the Dishwasher ... Until suddenly it wasn't, because he just completely stopped doing it out of nowhere for some reason?

My Mother in Law constantly makes excuses for him. Her favorite being that it was "because he got a job and his job works him long and odd hours"- which absolutely isn't an excuse in this house because two of us are disabled and the other two work over 50 hours a week minimum and we're all still also still pulling all our weight just fine; in reality, it's because he's legitimately just lazy as hell.

It truly doesn't help, though, that everyone else but me in this house is completely incapable of performing even the most bare basic acts of domesticity ... Like wiping the counter down immediately after spilling something (they will literally let a spill sit there for weeks). Or rinsing the dishes after you're done with them (rinsing? never heard of her). Or even stacking the dishes to begin with so that they're not clogging counterspace (and then they will complain about not having the counterspace to do anything!). Or like, not piling shit in the sink for days on end (no but seriously stop it, it's disgusting and it smells) ????

And so, like, pretty much the second anyone but me touches the Kitchen, it becomes a literal garbage pile on every conceivable surface. And after a whole year of this nonsense, I've just give up entirely; I'm so tired of being literally the only one to actually clean the kitchen in any significant capacity- but especially of watching it get trashed to the seven Heavens within 5 seconds of doing so because no one can do basic tasks. And no one's honoring the agreement we had in place anymore anyways, so why bother?

Which of course led to passive aggressive bullshit like the time she tried to subtly imply that I specifically needed to be the one doing more around the kitchen literally two days after I was the one who deep cleaned it, because all of their dishes had already taken back over everything; meanwhile now I clean my own stuff as I go now, exactly as I use it, with very limited exceptions. Screw their stuff entirely.

But now she's blaming it all on the fact we had two of those stupid little magnets, I guess 🙄 And I just know that my Husband's decision 4 days ago to start unloading the dishwasher for me every single day at 7:00 pm (since no one else in this hell hole will) so that I can finally have some semblance of a life back in this damned house (because we finally figured out that a lot of my lack of motivation and energy is coming from the kitchen and its constant state of hell) is going to be credited to her removing one of them today.

It's so infuriating because none of them can just own up to the fact that they are themselves the disgusting little rat gremlins when it comes to the kitchen; I'm so tired. I just want my own place again.