#like literally what difference does it make to your life if someone wants to identify as a sledgehammer or laptop charger

[alpaca-clouds]

BG3 fans, we gotta talk CPTSD

Okay, I have spend about a week considering writing this blog, but I really gotta say, that it is something people really need to understand. See, I mostly see this issue with Astarion and his depiction in fandom. However, I would argue that it is a thing that affects literally all characters that play some sort of bigger in this entire game. Including many NPCs.

But let me start with Astarion. See, I wrote the blog two weeks ago about people being judgy on people, who do not want to have graveyard sex with him. Mostly people will argue how Astarion should be allowed to have his agency in that moment - while I argued that whoever the player is playing should have also agency in that scene. Including the agency to say "no" for whatever reason. I also included that my Tav absolutely denied Astarion, because he was not trusting that Astarion in the scene really was ready for it, for a variety of reasons. Which is very much a valid reason for someone not to want to sleep with someone else. (Literally every reason is a good reason for that, mind you.)

And obviously there came the comment, that went basically: "As someone who was raped I am very appalled by you saying that raped people cannot consent." Which is very much not what I said.

What I said was, that my Tav did not consent. Yes, he did not consent because he thought Astarion was not ready for it - but he is the one not consenting. It does not matter for this whether his assumption about Astarion is true or not. Tav does not feel comfortable in the scene, so Tav does not want sex right there.

However... If you consider the drow orgy scene, Tav is also very much right. If you do that scene after defeating Cazador, Astarion is enthusiastically consenting to that orgy, but he still ends up dissociating during the scene. (And in that scene, even if your character notices it, you cannot go "Stop!" Which I hate.)

Here is the thing. If you are in the BDSM scene, you might actually have encountered a scenario in real life where someone was enthusiastically consenting to something - only to them realize, that they were not into it at all. And people can withdraw their consent IRL at this point. Only that in this game, obviously you can't. So within the game choices I will just start out with "no" for this character.

Still, that is actually not what I mainly wanted to talk about. No.

What I wanted to talk about is the other thing. I absolutely know that for a variety of reasons a lot of SA survivors do identify with Astarion, and I do not want to take that from anyone. I think it is amazing that we got a character with whom we see this issue portrayed seriously. And let's face it. Especially in tumblr fandom circles, we will have a lot of SA survivors, because the userbase of this website is majority afab, and many are queer. And we know from statistics that queer afab people are even more likely than non-queer afab people to experience SA at some point in there life. So, yes, Astarion is going to be embraced by this community makes sense - even without his dashing looks.

But here we get to the actual meat of the issue: Astarion was not just raped. Astarion was abused in a variety of ways - some of them sexual - over the course of 200 years. He went not through a single traumatic event, but an ongoing trauma that, again, lasted for 200 years.

Or to put different: Astarion does not have PTSD. He has C-PTSD. Complex trauma. The kind of trauma that develops when the trauma lasts over a long, long time, without the survivor getting a chance to ever really properly ever relax. Something that was very true for Astarion's time under Cazador. He was under constant threat of rape, torture, and other forms of violence.

While CPTSD is a form of PTSD, it has some differing symptoms - and additional symptoms from plain old PTSD.

I found this graphic on this blog here, and found it fairly good in the depictions. (If you google CPTSD you will find several graphics like this.) It shows very well the additional symptoms, compared to normal trauma.

Generally speaking, CPTSD brings a lot stronger issues with self-worth, interpersonal problems, and emotional regulation. CPTSD folks are often prone to emotional outbursts (this graphic names anger, but technically it can be all other kinds of emotional outbursts - which is why at times CPTSD gets confused with BPD).

And Astarion is written like this. He shows very much all the symptoms of CPTSD. And let's be honest: That is an issue he will have to deal with for a long, long while.

But... As I said, the same is actually true for pretty much all the characters.

If you look at the companions, it is obvious.

Gale spent at least a year in constant fear of blowing up. While Mystra's abusiveness towards him within the relationship prior the orb is more fanon than canon (though the relationship was defnitely not an easy one), the "one year in constant fear of death" is very likely going to instill some form of CPTSD in him.

Karlach was a slave for 10 years, forced to fight in the hells. While she will also probably suffer from certain forms of PTSD more common in soldiers. Additionally I would argue that she also has some CPTSD from tiefling-racism. While she does not bring it up often... She does seem to have a thing there.

With Wyll it is a bit more complicated. Yes, for him I would see the kind of CPTSD I have - parental abuse related. Ulder was not openly abusive, but neither was my mother, and guess what fucked me most up in my childhood, despite experiencing some really bad violence elsewhere.

Shadowheart was abused by Viconia and midwashed and tortured and was forced to kill her fucking pet mouse. Bonus points that a lot of it happened during her childhood. She very much is gonna suffer the consequences.

Lae'zel... Do I really need to say something about her upbringing among the Gith?

Then we have Halsin. We know fairly little about his background, given that he is very coy in talking about it. But his "three years as a drow slave" definitely make it likely that he has developed some form of CPTSD.

And then we have Jaheira and Minsc. For whom just the... Well, look folks, the adventuring lifestyle would logically also leave you with CPTSD of some sort.

Even if you play a Tav who entered the game after having a very untraumatic life... They will spent what has to be at least two months with a tadpole in their head threatening to kill them - while half of Baldur's Gate is trying to do the same. They'll have PTSD after this at the very least, if not CPTSD. (Even though, let's face it, chances are we all gave our Tavs more than enough background trauma to go along with it, right?)

And same goes for so many other characters. The tiefling refugees. Our main villains (especially Gortash and Orin). Cazador. The other vampire spawn (duh). The list goes on.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, for once I just want to make sure folks understand that CPTSD is a thing that exists and while being similar to normal PTSD differs in some points. Including the fact that people with CPTSD have a high likelihood to make very rash decisions driven by instable emotional states, that might be harmful to them on the long run.

And mind you. In real life most people with CPTSD have it because either they were bullied for a long time, or were in an abusive relationship of some sort. (Abusive parents, abusive partners, abusive friends/roommates.) But even in those heightened scenarios the game represents for the most part - the issues are gonna be still mainly the same.

[stellarremnant]

will never understand people who care more about others' gender identity than billionaires actively destroying the economy

[keyotosprompts]

not easy to please ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

alternatives to popular tropes

⇴ siblings's worst enemy

they're your sibling's enemy, so of course they're yours too. they're despicable and you seriously want them dead. luckily for you, the feeling's mutual.

⇴ struggling ceo and their know-it-all office worker

how did this mf become the ceo of one of the most progressive countries in the world?? they're clueless and you're the one that has to fix all their mistakes. you seriously don't get paid enough for this (unless they can come up with another way to pay you).

⇴ marriage of inconvenience

what happens in vegas stays in vegas. except when you've signed an official marriage contract, and everything is so much more complicated before. now this person is stuck with you until you can divorce! (or will you?)

⇴ forbidden hate

your parents absolutely adore the idea of the two of you together. they have wedding pinterest boards, future plans, and baby names for the two of you. only one thing: you two kinda hate each other, and hell would have to freeze over before you'd ever get with them.

⇴ no more second chances

sorry dude! f'ed up really bad the first time, and now you're not giving anymore chances, and your ex has to deal with the consequences. one problem: they can't deal with the consequences bc they're literally in love with you. hm. just what will this person do to get you back?

⇴ not so secret identity

everyone knows who they are. not even the old mask and hat trick could prevent people from identifying them. and it's fine–they absolutely bask in the fame. one problem though: they're a constant target to the entire world. perfect!

⇴ separated from each other

they never get any alone time. alone together in an elevator? too bad, a party of ten just showed up, pushing the two of you on the opposite side of the elevator. finally alone at home? nope! unfortunately, your friends make a surprise visit! oh how will you two ever get past this?

⇴ "you deserved it."

a normal person would've asked "who did this to you?" except your bond is not normal. not in the slightest. i mean seriously, what does this person want from you?

⇴ "i can't have you, so i'll let someone else take my place."

they know that they're not good enough for you, and that you deserve someone better than them. so, they choose to let you go, and hope that someone else can make your world light up like they used to

⇴ the one that is still here

everywhere you go, this person is there. whether it's physically, mentally, or spiritually, everything ties back to them. everything reminds you of them. you couldn't even escape if you tried.

⇴ playboy but he's actually a nerd that cannot get play

he's gorgeous–he's the most attractive man you think you've ever seen in your life. you think he's probably got it all–girls or boys coming up to him nonstop. only, that's not true in the slightest. somehow, he's managed to fumble every single time.

⇴ nobody wants the bad boy

he's troubled. there are rumors of him starting fights 24/7, and he lives in a bad area. he could really fuck someone up. nobody wants him.

⇴ "you must be delusional"

lovers that know that they're in love with each other, but when admitting it to their friends, they shut down their feelings.

⇴ loving someone to save them

none of that breaking up nonsense. love is power. their love and support causes you to be stronger than ever. knowing that there's love out there gives you a reason to keep on going. love saves you.

⇴ too smart to live

you've outdone yourself this time. bypassed every guard, rule, and law without anyone catching you. so, of course, there's only one solution here: to eliminate you.

⇴ different worlds (revised)

you grew up poor while they grew up rich. now, in the present, you are the more successful one, while they are struggling to get their life together. now, you must help the one who used to be in your current position, and fix things together.

⇴ one-sided blind date

rule one of having a blind date: you should not know who you're meeting. well, too late! you sneaked a peek at your friend's phone and found out who you'll be seeing soon. now, you're scrambling to get out of this date because you know exactly who it is.

[skyward-floored]

Dawn part 4 analysis, here we go! At it again with my ramblings.

Starting off with THE GLORIOUS RETURN OF THE MAILMAN! The moment I saw the flag I was like :O HE’S BACK!!!

(I also got the blue’s clues mail song stuck in my head)

Hey look, it’s Warriors’ money! And the inkeeper who’s happily admiring the ridiculous amount of rupees Warriors now does not own!

Rip Warriors’ money. It will be dearly missed.

Also no vacancy?? I mean, it’s possible there’s other people staying there, or it’s just a small inn, but... it kinda looks like Warriors literally bought every available room there was. Mad lad.

I (like everybody else lol) took a crack at figuring out who’s signature was who’s, based on their respective game’s Hylian texts/scripts, order of when they got there, and the OG tags on the comic. So here’s my best guesses—

1. Time is first, which makes sense based on him being the one to take Twilight to the inn

2. Hyrule appears to be next— his games don’t have a written script, but the hylian here is close to Legend’s, so I’m assuming it’s his, based on the fact that he was part of the next group to get to the inn.

3. Four is who I’m least sure about I’ll admit, but seeing as how he came with Hyrule, (and he’s the only Link left I couldn’t identify at all), I’m assuming it’s his.

4. Warriors we know for sure, since the tags say this signature is his. He gets a shout out for being the only Link who can actually write in the lines.

5. Wind seems to be next, as his hylian is very close to what’s here (his signature partially obscures Warriors’ XD)

6. Legend is who I’m going with for this one, but I’ll admit it could be Wild’s since their script is pretty darn close. But once again, based on when they all got to the inn, Legend would make the most sense to be here.

7. Sky is definitely here. His hylian is very unique compared to the others (I think it’s my favorite)

8. Wild is probably next, but same case as Legend, they could be swapped. But once again, probably not, since Wild was the last to get inside.

9. Twilight bringing up the rear! His hylian is unmistakable, and it makes sense that he’d mark his name last. I don’t think he could handle it until he woke up that morning, though I do wonder which arm he wrote it with...

(Rip Mr. Mailman in trying to figure all this out)

Moving on!

It’s gotta be close to mid-morning by now based on the light, but Sky obviously does not handle waking up at dawn well. It’ll be interesting to see if he stays sleepy during the rest of this arc, or if he'll wake up a bit.

(Side note, Sky looks so soft and fluffy here, I want to hug him)

Sky is so relatable in this update, he’s got some serious “I have no idea what’s going on” vibes. That first one he's got such a deer in the headlights look XD

The mailman is just like “you! I’ve been looking for you! Great to see you!” and Sky’s just “I have never met this man in my life” (probably forgot he actually did see him once (because he’s sleepy))

Four letters, all different languages and dialects... I’m guessing at least one Zelda based on the seal on that blue letter (it seems fancier to me), but I don’t know about the rest. I would guess Malon for one, and maybe another Zelda? Warriors or Wild or Four’s Zelda maybe? Maybe Twilight got a letter from someone in Ordon, or the Resistance!

Only thing I do know is that there’s probably not one for Sky, since he wasn’t immediately like “letter for me! :D”

Four trying to do something nice and fix Wild’s sword and this guy just laughs at him, rude 😤 At least he didn’t make a short joke, which was honestly what I was expecting. I mean I get knowing that your equipment won’t be enough for the job, but sheesh.

(Also the blacksmith’s goggles look a bit like Gondo’s in skyward sword’s, plus the ones the rescue knights wear, thought that was interesting).

(Cool pose mode: engaged)

I love this panel!! They all decided to follow Four and help him out just like they did last time, fix the sword and get Wild a good, reliable weapon.

I’ve also never noticed how similar these guy’s hair looks before, especially Warriors and Hyrule’s— if Rulie’s hair was a little shorter and blonde, it would be pretty near identical. Very interesting...

(Plus Wind has the funniest expression, he's so cute)

We interrupt this rambly analysis to bring you a brief moment of me yelling about Warriors' smile ABHDGFSFKHSBBG LOOK AT HIM that stupid cocky grin and the way he's rolling up his sleeve I'm *swoon*

Four absolutely losing it over Warriors’ jab about teamwork is SO funny, Captain you have no idea how good your joke was. (also Four, bud, you good? Little hysterical there pal)

Also he looks so happy!!! Compare that to any of the faces he was making the night before, he's doing so much better. I’m so glad he’s happy and smiling now, even if it was just at a dumb joke :)

I don’t even have anything to say about this panel. Just look at it. Glorious.

And one last thing...

MULTILINGUAL WARRIORS HOLY CROW that's such a cool trait to give him, I am in love with it now that's awesome.

An amazing update as always, it was fantastic all around <3

[cucumberteapot]

I feel like people aren't as open to discussing E-42 Prowle because there is so much about the character we don't know or the films haven't explicitly told us yet. However, I'd like to think writers have presented us with enough information that we can make a strong assessment as to not to what kind of role they'll serve (I think it's fair to say Miles G is going to be an antagonist later-turned hero or anti-hero in BSTV), but what kind of character this is and how they challenge Miles as the main character.

I'd like to discuss one crucial aspect of piece of body language and physical characterisation. This right here:

This is our first proper shot of E-42 Prowler and it closely parallels Aaron Davis in then first movie when he's watching Miles run away.

Now I want to pay mind that in deliberately holding off the plot twist of Aaron being the Prowler, the audience is given no key identifiers as to the Prowler's true identity. He doesn't even have any lines of dialogue until Miles is hiding in his apartment and we after we get the reveal. In every sense of the term, Prowler is a gun for hire. Except he doesn't use guns. The point is he is a hitman. He consistently does what he's told by Kingpin - "You can count on me, sir. I don't ever quit." But then when he's confront with the reveal of the kid he's been hunting is his own nephew and he must choose between his identities as Aaron and as Prowler, that loyalty is severed and it costs him his life.

Which leads us to this specific visual of E-42 Prowler dangling from the rafter before dropping down to face Miles. The camera doesn't cut away from how he drops. Instead we're put entirely in Miles' perspective as to this guy's every move. Between us and Miles, the crew don't want us to miss anything. So what are we seeing here?

Well firstly I think it's clear this is something the Prowler we know wouldn't do because this is a merge of personas of Miles as the Prowler and as a 15-year old. This reads to us as something a lanky kid would do on a jungle-gym, and the fact E-42 Prowler doesn't take his eyes off Miles not only demonstrates curiosity but almost an invitation to play. Not literally, but I believe this Prowler is someone who likes to toy with their victims (which he see a bit of towards the end). And in this case, Prowler is definitely testing Miles from the moment he starts talking about ideas counteractive to his reality - That Aaron Davis could be a "good guy" and that the Prowler identity is something detrimental to the E-42 dimensions' existence. Granted, Miles is speaking from the experience of someone who's Prowler didn't provide income for their family and represent a symbol of strength like the Spiderman identity, so it's a no brainer E-42 Prowler views Miles as antithetical to his state of being. Another thing is that this is how Miles hangs from his webs throughout the movie (under the clocktower, before going through the portal to mumbattan, etc.), so it's a nice consistent characterisation between the two.

But that only leads us into what separates them. After keeping their focus directly on the other, they have their first exchange:

Prowler: Your dad is still alive? Miles: What? Prowler: Your father... You said he's still alive. Miles: Yeah. Prowler: Oh.

Okay, let's dissect this. Specifically Miles' confusion at to why Prowler's asking this because the audience is in the same boat but for very different reasons.

Now I don't want to make assumptions but even before Prowler unmasks, Miles already knows it's his counterpart and his question isn't so much as not knowing but a request for confirmation. However the reason why Miles is confused here is because he expected that same curiousity about identity from his counterpart - not about relatives. Prowler doesn't ask who Miles is even though he doesn't really know, and when he gets his answer that, yes, Jefferson is alive in the other universe, his reaction is played off as dismissive, separating his identity and priorities from Miles. Whatever it is, considering it's the first thing he's asks, this is a vital piece of information for Prowler but his reaction removes any possibility he can be negotiated with... which Miles continuously fails at.

Miles: Who are you? Prowler: My name is Miles Morales. But you... You can call me the Prowler. Miles: If I don't get home, our dad is going to die. Prowler: Your dad. Miles: Please... You have to let me go. Prowler: And why would I do that?

That then leads us on to Miles' question because he's not only asking for his kidnapper's name, he's asking for who this person is. And in turn who we see isn't particularly angry or vindictive - we'll get to that. Instead, Prowler's expression is complete desolation.

It's only when Miles further insinuates they are the same by referring to Jefferson as "our dad", does he shoot back with "your dad". It's quick because this Prowler is still separating himself from this version of himself and the idea he could or would've been or had anything like his life. Finally Miles accepts that they are separate and ask Prowler to let him go, but Prowler has another rhetorical question which implies although he considers this Miles separate to himself, he still has use for him somehow. Which honestly if you had this strength-is-all mindset, it might feel rewarding to have captured this part of yourself that you considered weak - which for all Prowler knows, Miles is just this inferior version of himself who got decked in one hit.

And then lastly we have these two shots here where Prowler raises his "claw" beside Miles' head and sizes him up.

If Aaron can scare Miles by punching the sand out of a boxing bag while Prowler only has to put his fist on it, you tell me who's more terrifying?

But truthfully this last non-conversational exchange before Miles stares Prowler back down is evident that not only is Prowler going to beat the shit out of Miles, but that Miles' "flippy, little sassy jokes" as Spot puts it, is not going to help him here. Because if he wants to survive, he's going to have to match Prowler's energy. This film has a bittersweet ending not because Miles is captured but because Miles has internalised what he's been fighting against the whole movie - The emotional desolation of being Spider-man that lets them deal with or appear indifferent to the harm or death of people around them and it's exemplified when he applies Peter's first lesson of being Spider-man:

"Don't watch the mouth. Watch the hands."

[jenosbliss]

hii there!! can i req different tropes with the dreamies please?

🩶⌇ nct dream ! as different love tropes

pairing. gn!reader x nctdream | genre. fluff | wc. 1.5k | warnings. none

a/n. happy new year guys!! went a little personal on Jaemin's one, also if you want a bigger fic for any of the members with these tropes pls let me know 💖

MARK. childhood friends to lovers

Mark was the constant in your life just as you were in his. He was the one to pull you in when you experienced your first heartbreak or needed a shoulder to weep on, to rely on, to seek warmth and comfort in. He was the one to cheer you on for exams, to celebrate your achievements and your first relationship. He had been there all along. Hence, when he unexpectedly blurted out, "Do you think we would make a good couple?" while snuggling inside the cover with you one quiet night. You weren't too shocked by it because, in all honesty, you both knew—hell, everyone knew—that you loved one another more than simply as friends. In fact, your friends called you both ‘goners.’ “Is this your subtle way of asking me out?” he giggled trying to hide his oh not so obvious blush. “I mean like you know what I mean c’mon dude… will you be my girlfriend?” "Have I ever said no to you?" you drew nearer to him beneath the cover. “Sure.”

RENJUN. secret admirer

It started recently when small notes began to appear inside your locker and on your desk. At first you ignored them thinking it was some sort of a sick prank because who in their right mind will secretly admire you? Well, Renjun does, and ever since the day he saw you having your own little concert in the classroom after everyone had left, he has never been as certain about someone as he was about you. At first he left notes on a weekly basis afraid you might not like them but when he saw you smiling and saving all his notes he started leaving a dozen of them on a daily basis. He was going crazy because he had so much he wanted to tell you, but there was not enough room on a piece of paper. However, you were driving yourself crazy trying to identify this admirer of yours. This madness continued for a month until one day Renjun himself stood in front of your locker holding a piece of paper, "Here's your note, love.”

JENO. fake dating

You didn’t consider Jeno a total stranger, you have run into him quite a handful of times in the campus cafe and have your fair share of shy glances, very small talks and fleeting smiles. One day your ex followed you to the cafe, at first, he was begging for forgiveness but soon turned hostile, demanding a reason why you don’t want to be with him. Fearing he might do something bad; your eyes fell upon Jeno who just entered the cafe, a sweet smile playing on his lips when he noticed you. Could you have come up with a better response? Maybe but at that moment you couldn’t think of anything else. You approached him begging “Hi, I’m really sorry to put you in this mess but can you please, please pretend to be my boyfriend? My ex there-” at an instant Jeno stood up, grabbing your hand softly in his “Where is that jerk? Did he hurt you?” And with this incident you both started fake dating which soon turned real without either of you realizing.

HAECHAN. sunshine x grumpy

Everyone around you referred to you and Haechan as the opposite attracts couple, well to be very honest you didn’t consider yourself grumpy or mean, you just didn’t prefer the human race and any interaction with them of course except him. He was the literal definition of sunshine for you, the one who lightened you up, the one with whom you can leave your so-called grumpy side aside and be a little ray of his sunshine. Haechan found you in the darkest phase of your life when everyone you knew or had trusted turned their back on you, leaving you to cry alone in a dark corner. It was then when he pulled you into his embrace, radiating a warmth that felt safe and something like home, he became that last ray of hope and light that brightened you up once again. “How can you be this happy this early in the morning?” you grumbled seeing him dance while cooking in the kitchen. Ignoring your comment, he walked around the counter and extended his hand “Will you dance with me? Please, sunshine please!” rolling your eyes at his silly actions you still took his hand as he pulled you in for a little silly dance.

JAEMIN. first love

Love was a scary word for you, the reason you never experienced it before was because you wanted it to be perfect. You wanted to remember your first love with a smile on your face and not an experience which you would want to forget. You have had crushes and a few situationships and an experience of a boy you thought was definitely the one to not reciprocate your feelings when you confessed to him before. But that was it, after the last incident years ago you gave up on the idea of love, thinking it was for the pinterest girlies, those perfect ones who deserved a perfect love. But the day Jaemin came to you on that bus ride asking if can take the empty seat next to yours, the perception of love you had changed. He became your first and perfect love, he showed you everyone is worthy of love, he accepted all your flaws, he cared for you like no one has ever done –babying you included– he never shied away from confessing his love and gratitude for you, he cherished you with every breath he took. You could cry to him, with him, you could laugh with him until your stomach hurts, you could gossip with him, and you could cherish the quietness with him. He was perfect and he was yours, your first love. “OMG y/n I saw this flower growing out of the sidewalk, it reminded me of you princess.”

CHENLE. academic rivals

Chenle didn’t give a shit about studies or grades, if you ask his parents or friends, they haven’t seen so many ‘A+’ on his tests till now. It’s not like he was poor in his studies, it's just that he didn't have a reason to study. Why study if he could just get a scholarship through basketball? It was useless according to him until he met you in high school, the top student in the class if not the school. Was it love at first sight? Nah it was love at first fight for him when he accidentally hit you with the basketball during gym class and you poured a bottle of water on him as revenge (it was freezing cold that day). After that, the more he tried to approach you the more you avoided him. It was the first time when he wanted something, but he couldn't have it right away, and this ignited a fire in him. So, the only way to reach you now was through academics, and boy, he loved pushing your buttons, so he decided to compete with you… fiercely and that’s how after a few months of this rivalry you found yourself pinned against the bookshelf by him in a corner of the library. “Everything is just a competition for you… isn’t it?” you felt his breath on your face “Isn’t it for you, too?” you spat back, not breaking eye contact. “No, I did this because I am in fucking love with you.”

JISUNG. brother's best friend

You met Jisung when you were five and he was seven, he brought Sungchan back home after he sprained his ankle during the game of soccer. You remember watching him from afar, while he was talking to your mother about Sungchan’s injury when he looked at you and passed a smile. Since then, not a day passes by when you don’t think of him. At seven you had childishly asked him to marry you which he laughed at first but agreed later, promising to do so when you grow older. At fifteen he scared off a boy who kissed you on the cheek in school, saying things like you are too young for dating and you can’t date just any boy. That day, instead of crying that your first relationship ended before it could even start, you were happy, it was the day you started liking Jisung. At seventeen you confessed your feelings to him when he said the words that broke your small, fragile heart in pieces, he said you were like a little sister to him. At twenty-two he saw you going out with a man when he arrived at your apartment to celebrate your birthday. He felt something he shouldn’t have, he felt jealous, a burning rage and it was that moment that he knew he had fallen head over heels for you. “Don’t date him.” you scoffed hearing his authoritative tone. “And who are you to say that? I’m not fifteen anymore. It’s my life I can date whoever I want… you’re not my real brother.” he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him “Yes I’m not your brother… so date me instead.”

navigation.

masterlist. nct dream | nct 127 | wayv

[bairdthereader]

Ben is an evil genius, and I don't mean that in a good way.

(Heads up, this is quite a long post. I hope you'll find it a worthwhile read!)

[Caveat: I do think Ben is a much more complex character than is generally acknowledged, and he brings a lot of important issues to the surface throughout the comics and show. I’ll be writing on that soon. But for today, I’m focusing on one very specific way that Ben interacts with the people around him, so it’s a necessarily narrow view.]

Ben’s brand of evil genius lies in a particularly pernicious variety of emotional intelligence: the ability to identify people’s unique pressure points and hammer them with merciless accuracy. We see this first with Charlie, whose mental and emotional complexities Ben picks out and exploits to manipulate and break Charlie down, keeping himself in a position of control.

Ben insists on secrecy, which we all know is due to his own fear of discovery. But instead of owning up to that fear and discussing it with Charlie (a la Nick and his wish to take time to figure things out), Ben takes Charlie's very specific insecurities and leans on them to ensure Charlie's compliance.

We know from the flashback to their first conversation that Ben is aware of all the bullying Charlie experienced when he was outed, so he likely knows the intricacies of Charlie's pain--being called disgusting, being made to hate himself, being made to feel less than human. Ben barrages Charlie with these messages, just with slightly different language:

"I don't even know who you are." This preys on Charlie's sense of worthlessness, and it's a pressure point that Ben leans on again and again over the course of many public slights. It keeps Charlie feeling small and invisible, which in turn protects Ben from pushback or discovery.

"It's not like anyone else is going to want to go out with you, is it?" Ben knows Charlie was made to feel disgusting in the past, and this comment--which Ben also repeats--triggers those deeply painful, cyclical emotions of self-hatred, and is an attempt to make Charlie feel grateful for Ben's unreliable attention.

"As if anyone would ever want to go out with someone as desperate as you." Ben knows Charlie wants more, that he wants a relationship that means something. Here, he's twisting Charlie's desire for a loving relationship into something repulsive and off-putting, essentially ensuring that Charlie won't attempt to find anyone else.

"You were just there like some tragic loser with barely any friends who ate lunch alone and let bullies walk all over you . . . I just felt really sorry for you." Ben's exploiting Charlie's past feelings of weakness and lack of control by reminding him of the times he felt lowest. Not only this, but he spins his interest in Charlie into a charity case, trying to make Charlie feel as if he only wanted to go out with him out of pity (which we know after the finale of S2 is the thing Charlie worries about most).

But once Charlie starts consistently pushing back—saying he doesn't want to see Ben anymore, literally pushing him away at Harry’s party, the post-race conversation at sports day— and once there’s a watchful guardian in Charlie’s life (Nick) who sees Ben for what he is, Ben switches his attention to Nick. He knows that the worst way he could hurt Charlie, to take away his newfound confidence and power and reinstate Ben’s position of dominance in the relationship (such as it was), is to push Nick away from Charlie.

Ben uses his own experiences of being closeted to identify Nick’s insecurities and poke at them viciously. He knows how emotionally exhausting it can be to hide your true self, and even if he’d never admit at this point in the story that he’s hiding at all, he still recognizes that weariness in Nick and does all he can to increase it.

"Am I not allowed to like girls as well as boys?" This is Ben accusing Nick of being a hypocrite, which is something Nick has been struggling with for months now, though it’s never named as such in the show. He’s been trying to shed his rugby lad persona in favor of his authentic self, but it’s been a challenging and frightening journey during which Nick probably does often feel like a hypocrite, and here’s Ben, blatantly calling it out.

"Does Charlie know you don’t want to come out?" (Which, we have to remember, comes shortly after Ben telling Nick he needs to "stop acting so gay for" Charlie if they're trying to keep their relationship quiet.) I’d argue that this is Ben’s most effective method of attack against Nick, because it encompasses all of Nick’s challenges in one statement: the pressure he’s put on himself to come out, his niggling doubt that Charlie really believes him when he says he wants to come out, the sense that he's harming Charlie with the secrecy.

"You’re just the same as me." Ben knows that Nick is a truly decent person with almost faultless integrity—something for which Ben has no respect but perhaps a bit of deeply buried envy—so he knows he can antagonize Nick with this comparison. He also knows he can do it without fear of significant public retribution, since Nick would never intentionally out Ben, or even retaliate physically since Ben carefully avoids, mostly, directing any significant insults at Charlie himself in these confrontations, which would have been the only thing that might inspire someone as intrinsically good as Nick to lash out.

"What if I said I want Charlie back?" This is a particularly sly attack. Yes, you could argue that Ben is just lashing out in anger or desperation and that this is him grasping at straws, but this is actually the culmination of weeks of mental assault. Ben has gradually upped the ante in each conversation with Nick, chipping away at Nick’s confidence in his bond with Charlie and trying to make himself look like the better option for Charlie. He even finishes up by saying he'd never give Charlie a hickey, something for which Nick already feels intense guilt. Ben knows exactly what he's doing here.

Nick overcomes Ben's strategic attacks partly through personal fortitude, partly through a real understanding of how Ben operates, and partly through the open communication he and Charlie share that builds them both back up again.

Imogen deserves a mention here, too, as Ben exploits her pressure points with cruel ease. Once he’s secured her by being “lovely” to her, he promptly tries to exert the same power dynamics he had with Charlie, breaking her down pressure point by pressure point.

He only shows her affection when the "right" people are looking--mainly people he wants to impress, or people he wants to hurt, like Nick and Charlie. This is just as damaging, in its own way, as the secrecy he insisted on with Charlie, especially for someone as starved for affection as Imogen often seems to be (her pressure point).

Imogen desperately wants to be loved and accepted. In almost every interaction she has on screen, she’s trying to find her place, something Ben certainly sees (especially since there’s a deeply buried part of him that wants the same thing), and then exploits. Ben is openly neglectful of Imogen several times, especially on the Paris trip, showing her how little he cares while simultaneously attempting to make her feel grateful for the moments of attention she does get from him. Then, when he tells her that her desire to get a lock for the bridge is lame (just one example of this behavior), he’s casting himself as the ultimate judge and jury of her wants and needs, another power play.

As we know, this backfires pretty epically when Imogen throws all of his manipulations back in his face in one of the best breakup monologues on film. Ah, the satisfaction.

As Tao so succinctly and accurately described it, Ben has stinky energy. It’s the evil genius oozing out.

[skumhuu]

not at all the other anon (and very VERY much proship leaning) but the "proship means you're against harrassment" definition has always seemed flawed to me because... i was an anti once. And from my direct experiences there are so many antis who have horrible opinions of proshippers but are also very firmly against harrassment—they're still antis and still hate us, viscerally even, they just keep it to themselves and to their friend circles. That doesn't make it harrassment and also doesn't make them less of an anti, they still believe awful things about us and would likely be hostile if we ever interacted.

The definition i typically use for myself to determine whether or not someone is a proshipper or not is if they believe someone's taste in fiction has any bearing on their real-life moral compass or not. If you believe it does, you're an anti. if it doesn't, you're proship.

(This isn't to step over your opinion at all—just sharing mine! I really apologise if this comes off as disrespectful in any way haha.)

No no you’re fine! 💚

This kinda goes back to the unfortunately widespread idea that proship=pedo/problematic. Because like, those people just sound like they identify with being an anti because all of their friends are antis, they have the wrong info, or are too scared to speak up.

Also please remember that my aggressiveness lately isn’t due to hate, I am more than okay with former antis and people who don’t know better, but at this point I’ve dealt with so much harassment and hurt that I’ve lost my patience.

Aligning oneself with the face eating leopards to stay safe doesn’t mean they’re going out to eat faces themselves, but they are enabling that behavior. Even if they aren’t hurting people, by displaying “proship dni” they’re okay with isolating particular kinds of people out of the fandom. They’re okay with inciting harassment, or standing by while others do it for them. And like, they can say they’re against harassment all they like, but they’re still siding with the face eating leopards, hoping they don’t eat their faces next.

Adding proship to my bio wasn’t what I wanted, but I keep getting people acting betrayed when they discover that I’m proship and attacking me that I felt forced to add it. I simplify proship down to ‘proship means you are against harassment’ because I keep having to have this same song and dance where people show up in my askbox demanding I explain myself, when in reality I’m a random sanscest artist like 😂😂😂 the situation is very nuanced! But y’all I’m just trying to make the skeletons kiss

I keep linking studies, and info about the situation, and the way you explained being proship is exactly what I keep saying over and over but in different words :0 I’m too tired to be sympathetic with the people who call me an unsafe pedophile over fiction, who fill my ship tags with hate/disgust while I’m trying to vibe, and I’m not going to tolerate the people who side with that anymore. Like I don’t care if they aren’t harassing others themselves anymore.

Literally look at the tmnt fandom, they ended up turning on “neutrals” and bullied the ever loving shit out of everyone, even those who didn’t care. If we tolerate that here, eventually it might get that bad too. I refuse to let that happen. I will NOT let the face eating leopards in

[stoopid-turtle]

the art of being a skeptical turtle

So this is a personal post more about my experience as a turtle. If you just want to get to the fun list of candies I totally buy into regardless of evidence, just skip down to where the asterisks are. (Consider this like a recipe attached to a blog post)

For those interested in the whole nerdery going on here, let me share that I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with bjyxszd. I wrote a whole series of posts about it to get my thoughts in order. Now I'm fully on the turtle train, but I find myself skeptical of some candies.

This is gonna get super-nerdy so hold on to your butts.

I'm a generally skeptical person. I come by it honestly. My parents literally subscribed to Skeptical Inquirer and Skeptics magazines. They (well, my dad mainly) were capital-S Skeptics. My family talked about logical fallacies, perceptual oddness, and the fallibility of memory over the dinner table.

Please don't back away. I know self-identified Skeptics are typically insufferable. I didn't know this as a kiddo, though, so the whole "thinking about things skeptically" became just my default way of processing stuff. Nowadays, I wouldn't call myself a Skeptic in the way that some in a particularly obnoxious subculture do. But I do tend to be a skeptical sort. I just don't...you know...think it makes me smarter/better/cooler than other folks.

(Actually, it makes me way less cool bc I can single-handedly ruin a fun party by expressing skepticism about something. Nobody likes a wet blanket. I know this)

My bestie in high school always called me Scully to his Mulder. He would believe anything he saw or read, whereas I didn't. Usually, I was right. Like when he totally thought that the Blair Witch Project was real found footage (It's not. Nobody thinks it is now, I know, but it was part of the promo at the time). On occasion, he was right. Like when he told me that some gray clouds we had overheard were from wildfires in Mexico. I scoffed bc, really, we weren't that close to Mexico. But he was right and I learned a valuable lesson on large-scale weather phenomenon. (He's still wrong about there being a picture of a light bulb in the pyramids though)

So, yeah, that's just how I process things. It's second-nature for me. But I reached a point with my generally skeptical outlook where I considered 2 things to see whether I really cared if people were buying into something I thought was false.

The stakes. If a person believes X, what does that lead to? If I don't believe Y, even though it's true, what does that lead to?

There's a whole bunch of political stuff that heightens the stakes. To take a ridiculous (and outdated one), when I was growing up, there was a common story that AIDS hopped from apes to humans because a gay man had sex with an ape and then had sex with other humans. Thus, the AIDS epidemic.

The stakes of other people buying into that homophobic nonsense were (and are) life and death. (If you believe that...uh...bye?) It's something that's worth me being the obnoxious Scully if I hear someone buying into it.

The stakes of, say, my high school bestie believing that The Blair Witch Project was real found footage was...nothing. It just made him want to see the movie more. Nobody was hurt. It didn't matter.

I argued with him at the time, but I probably wouldn't anymore.

The stakes for believing that bjyxszd, here in international fandom, are perhaps higher than the Blair Witch thing. But only barely. If somebody believes in a particular rumor/candy that I don't think is real, it affects literally nothing. We're both still turtles. We have a lot more in common than we do difference with regards to YiZhan. Likewise, the effect of me not believing a candy that may be true is nil. Gg and dd are not impacted in any way.

(I think things may be different for c-fans, but that's not at all a thing I'm qualified to delve into. I can only account for myself in my context)

2. The other thing I consider is the context. That is, how likely are we to know the actual truth?

Scientific claims have a method to test them (and claims that can't be tested are just...not something science addresses). Claims about current events can be researched using journalism methods or whatever. For that homophobic AIDS story, there's ways to prove that it's not true. For the Blair Witch thing...well, the actors went on the talk show circuit for promo so, you know, the real footage myth was quickly lifted.

Celebrities exist in a different context. Like most people, they have a private life that is not accessible to people on the outside. If they choose to open up about that life, then cool. But if they don't or can't do so (like is the case with YiZhan), then they'll try to keep their private life out of sight of fans.

It really hit home to me when I was doing the bts thing how little of dd and gg we saw in the Untamed bts. We see even less of them now. I'm at peace with the fact that I just will never know much about these guys (I wrote a whole post about it). But the fact that there's a big mass of the unknown means that the possibilities are endless. We don't know and we'll never know.

So I don't have any more authority on anything gg or dd related than anybody else does. So why would I attempt to question or dismiss candies that other people find compelling? At the end of the day, there is a truth, but it's not accessible to us, so anything we come up with is just extrapolation.

Which is fine. It's fun. I think there's real stuff going on. (If I didn't, I wouldn't be here) But it means there's no real point arguing about the specific candies.

(and to be clear, I don't see turtles doing this, really. so this is all just me reiterating my own approach to things bc I'm a person who processes thoughts through long tumblr posts apparently) (and it's not a reaction to any particular candy. this post has been in my drafts for ages)

I think I'm a hard sell on a lot of candies, and I'm definitely the fuddy-duddy who just squints and asks a bunch of obnoxious questions about things.

But I ask those questions of myself and don't feel the need to annoy other turtles with them because, honestly, we're all in this boat together. Some candies appeal to particular turtles more than others, and I think we all kinda have our personal preferences for which ones resonate with us. I'm not here to rain on anybody's parade, especially as we all have way more in common just bc we all believe in bjyxszd.

This is all a long-winded way to explain how I think about candies, honestly. Or more, how I assess candies that are new-to-me and figure out whether to buy into it or not. With anything involving bjyx, I also leave a lot of room for there just being an unknown and unknowable. Again, the stakes are low, and if I'm wrong about any particular candy (in either direction), then...oh well? It affects literally nothing.

************************************************************************************************************************************************

So here's the fun part! The list of candies that I fully admit don't have a whole lot going for them (by my stupidly exacting standards) but that I totally buy into just because I like them.

Basically all lip-readings, but especially this one

(if you don't want to click thru, this is the moment from the Nanjing farewell concert where dd and gg seem to flirt about photos while on-stage)

Okay, I know, rationally, that lip-readings are always gonna be shaky. I mean, I've seen Medieval Land Fun-Time World. If I'm honest with myself, I know that the lip-readings are basically fluffy candy.

But whatever. I choose to believe them. This moment, especially, I adore (and it does come with dd posting a bare-faced photo after!). I think their big grins while openly flirting with each other on stage just jazzes me enough to pretend.

It's all true. I totally believe it.

Related to this is:

2. Any and all CPN about dd and/or gg seeing turtle signs and smiling or otherwise reacting positively.

I've seen such CSI-worthy analysis of sight-lines to try to establish with precision where dd or gg is looking at the moment they smile/look happy. I have no idea how much any of it holds up, and it's not worth the bother to try to confirm any of it.

But whatever. I like it. I believe it. I'll probably believe it everytime it happens.

3. Advanced Bombology.

So there's some things that aren't in dispute here. We definitely know that gg suddenly cut an Olay commercial ad from a 2 day shoot to a 1 day shoot, and it's a reasonable assumption that he did so to be at the DDU anniversary episode with GG.

The rest is a little fuzzy. The video details dd being kinda grouchy in interviews before the DDU shoot, and it also shares an anon rumor from a person who claimed to overhear dd in a studio restroom arguing on the phone with gg. This rumor came out a year after the event.

The rest of the video is some interpretation of the boys' behavior/mood in the DDU anniversary ep.

So, like, I get that anon rumors a year on maybe aren't the most solid evidence for anything. But whatever, I buy it.

And the interpretation of the boys' mood seems true to me, especially the moment where the interviewer asks gg if they'd discussed his visit ahead of time. Gg def does a sweatdrop, panic pause, look at dd moment and waits for dd's lead to answer. I find a lot of mood interpretation from videos a bit much, but this feels real.

In fact, the whole thing just feels real. Maybe that's why it's easy for me to buy. It feels like a real argument a couple would have.

4. The 5/22 fight during CQL shooting.

I talked about this back when I was doing the bts in order.

In tl;dr, dd gives gg a bit of a brush-off response to something. gg responds by cold shouldering him and then doing some passive aggressive sniping about how dd doesn't want gg to care about him. dd gets upset, then he apologizes, then they go on to watch something on one of their phones.

The basis of this one is some gossip plus a video shot from a distance that requires reading lips. So we know that's already fuzzy, and I know I approached this with some skepticism in my earlier post. That was just to be rational about things so as to be honest with myself.

In truth, I buy it. I buy the argument. I buy the lip-reading. Again, it feels real.

5. GG's card to turtles

This is one of those frustrating ones I'm having trouble refinding. Darn.

The upshot, and I'm going from memory, is that there's a CPN about a card written to turtles ostensibly from gg. This came with some handwriting comparison to try to match the signature to gg's known signature.

This isn't something I'd place bets on, because...seriously, it's so fuzzy.

But in my heart, I believe it for no reason other than that I want to.

6. DD as gg's mystery driver

Okay, there's a couple such incidents. One quite recently. Where gg's driver is mysteriously masked such that you can't see their face.

And, truth, it could be literally anybody under there. But for me, it's dd. No need to give me painstaking comparisons of hands or whatever. I'm fully in on this one.

7. The bone necklace.

Ack, don't hate me for this one!

When I was doing my posts about stuff that had convinced me that gg and dd were still together, I stumbled with the bone necklace. To me, it's the main thing that convinces me, but if I'm honest, it really is kinda a leap of faith thing.

With the ox-head necklace, we have the fancam footage to back it up as being from gg. All we have for the bone necklace is the timing and the precedent of dd having already worn a necklace from gg. That's shaky, really.

In fact, I think I saw some other dd CP claiming the bone necklace as theirs (I saw them also claiming the Leica camera). I think they're wrong, but I don't have any solid proof to say so.

I think the most I can say is that there are much harder evidences that gg and dd are still together. But these typically involve massive privacy violations so I'm not eager to spread them around (I kinda hate that I stumble upon them, tbh). But in any case, it has me convinced, so if I already know gg and dd are a couple, then of course the bone necklace is related.

But on its own, the bone necklace is a leap.

Okay, that all said, since I (finally) had a photo of dd last time I posted, I'm dropping a random gg photo here. Not my favorite, cause pls don't make me choose, but one that hangs out my head throughout the days.

[exoticabl4]

Where to start ?

Such a basic question and yet so many answers. At the beginning of your journey, you'll find yourself with a whole lot of motivation, goals and dreams, so you may feel kinda lost as to where you're supposed to start.

1. Know what you want.

It may sound kind of cliche, and stupid, but really, what do you want ? Yes you wanna be successful, but doesn't everyone want the same thing ? Be precise and give the details. What does success mean to you ? How does the highest version of you look like ? What's her self-concept like ? How does she dress ? Is she more classy or street wear ? Mysterious or a ray of sunshine ? Avoid following the trends. For example, lately the "dark feminine aesthetic" has been taking over tiktok and pinterest, and no matter how cool it might seem, it might not be your cup of tea at the end of the day. Do not to strive to become someone you won't enjoy being. Don't try to be liked by everyone or try to be the heart of the parties when you genuinely enjoy being alone more and have very few friends and acquaintances. And don't try to be "mysterious and dark" when you're actually someone who laughs a lot and who's socially attractive. You can also make pinterest boards with specific facial features you want, with the body type you want, the vibe you want in general. Or, you can keep a journal and divide your life into different aspects (physical attractiveness, intelligence, mindset...), and go into details in each aspect.

2. Create a base routine.

What's a base routine ? That's basically a simple, yet achievable and productive routine you're going to follow, and prioritize over any habit you want to add to your life. So for example, I don't have much time in the morning, so my base routine mainly focuses on after school (your base routine could be about all day, you do you), and it looks like this :

45 min of maths

1 hour of other school work

15 minutes on Duolingo

Learning one new page of spanish vocabulary

Listening to my beauty subliminal playlist 2x

Listening to my specific feature subliminal playlist 3x

Brush my teeths

Affirm and meditate

Go to sleep

As you can see, my base routine is literally SO simple. Every two months, i may add more stuff to my base routine. The goal is to prioritize this routine over any other new habit you wanna add. For example, let's say i wanna start working out every day for 1 hour, and the first day i started, i found myself with no time to work out, which is normal, since I'm still discovering about what works and what doesn't for me, but I'm not going to ruin my base routine or not do one of the habits in it, just for the sake of a newly formed one.

3. Create an alter-ego.

Really basic, but you're going to create a sort of character in your mind, give it a name (mine's name is Abla 😉). This alter-ego is everything you wanna be, so everything you wrote about in step 1, and you're going to start acting like her. Everytime you're feeling lazy, or confused, ask yourself "What would she do ?" (she being your alter-ego). Slowly, you're going to morph into her, and don't hesitate to go for it and exaggerate.

4. Find out about what you're supposed to do.

Divide your life into aspects. I personally, have divided mine into 6 aspects :

Physical attractiveness (face, body, hair, voice, scent, style)

Intellectual development (knowledge (psychology, body language, science...), language learning, chess)

Mindset (confidence, self-love, self-concept, self-worth, discipline)

Skills (cooking, endurance, baking....)

Spiritual life (religion, meditation, mindfulness, healing)

Personal achievements (writing a book, best at my promotion, become president of a club)

That's how i divided my life, now take the time to divide yours, and identify what habits you're supposed to follow in order to improve in each aspect. For example, to improve your appearance, you may have to start a skincare routine, so that's one of the habits.

5. Declutter your space.

Your phone, your room, your desk, your locker, your wardrobe everything. Change your phone theme, block people, delete unnecessary pics and screenshots, donate clothe you don't need, clean your locker. Have a rebirth in a clean and organized space.

So that's it for this post, hope it was helpful, bye my loves.

[tavyliasin]

Disability Pride Essays - Shadowheart, Memory Loss, Depression, and Invisible Chronic Pain

We’re at our last Origin Character for the Disability Month Essays, so it’s time to dive into the most mysterious of the starting companions. Shadowheart has quite a complex story as it relates to physical and mental health, as well as how the two can be inextricably linked to one another too. There’s a lot to look at in how she progresses through the game, from how her story can follow different paths, to her own relationship to her sense of self and memories. So let’s start off once again with our warnings for the content that will follow, and you can then choose if you are in the right headspace to proceed with the discussion or if it’s best skipped or saved for another day. I’ll be taking a look at the difficulties of memory loss through a variety of causes, from PTSD to degenerative conditions. I’m also going to mention some of the deeper aspects of depression and potentially a few of the less helpful coping mechanisms for that. Shall we?

What is Shadowheart’s Disability?

Shadowheart’s main issues are quite clear from the beginning of the game, with her lack of most memories and a very casual attitude to how it is affecting her. We also catch glimpses at times of the pain, which might be something that people who experience fluctuating pain conditions - and particularly nerve pain issues - may well identify as they look on screen. Once we get deeper though, we see more aspects akin to depression and trauma - her lack of care for whatever it is she’s missing in here memory with the adamant denial that “it must be so terrible there was a reason I don’t want to remember” or simply that Shar knows best. There’s also a potential thought further on her mental health, as she pins her entire identity and life goals on what someone else has decided for her.

How Do We See The Disability In The Game?

We have quite a clear progression in Shadowheart’s story, with the big twist in the middle of whether she can be convinced to take the harder path to healing (and the fun “reinvent yourself by changing your hair/look” is quite common in those struggling with mental health) or whether she leans in to the nihilism and darker thoughts. The early sections also show more of the pain coming out of nowhere, as she grips her hand, looks to be in obvious distress, yet soon minimises her own suffering because there are more important things that she needs to do and worry about. The impact really comes from how the lack of memories impacts her decision making and even her interactions with others. Once she regains her memories, realises what she has been made to give up, there’s a marked difference in how Shadowheart relates to both those around her and herself as well. A lot of it is shown through her relationship to the very-real-in-Faerun gods Shar and Selune, though you could easily think of these instead as literal representations of Loss and Depression vs Hope and Healing. 

How Does This Reflect Real Life?

In real life, we don’t have spiteful deities and cult-like church leaders physically stripping memories from our minds, or an angelic being helping us to restore them, but there are plenty of conditions that can cause temporary and permanent memory loss. One that is sometimes controversial in the field of psychology is full memory repression - which is where a person’s mind, upon encountering a deeply traumatic incident, will completely repress the traumatic memories in an attempt to protect the individual from the impact of them. It’s one of those automatic and not consciously decided coping strategies that the mind will utilise for self preservation - if you don’t remember the terrible thing, it can be as if it never happened to you. I’ll go into this in more detail in its own section later, but it is one of the ways we can interpret Shadowheart’s memory loss and probably the closest to her experience in real world terms. Other causes of memory loss can be literal physical injuries disrupting nerve pathways in the brain either losing the memory completely or temporarily blocking the ability to access it. Medication and other treatments can also cause temporary or permanent memory problems, as can a number of conditions such as dementia, stroke, seizures, and similar brain-related incidents.  Aside from this, we have the physical pain that Shadowheart shows in her hand. When I saw this, I immediately felt that connection to my experience of chronic pain and particularly nerve conditions. These can cause a sudden flare up of pain with no cause - out of nowhere it can feel like someone has grabbed hold of your bones and crushed them, or that somehow there must be a wound in your shoulder because it hurts so suddenly and acutely… Similar to how Shadowheart doesn’t understand her own pain’s cause at first, it can be deeply frustrating and also terrifying to not know when you’re going to feel as if you’re being actively hurt by something.

But let’s take a deeper look at each of these, and how we can relate Shadowheart’s story to our own lives and better understand those around us too.

Sudden Onset Pain

I’m going to start with the simplest here - the pain. Most peoples’ experience of pain is that it is a cause and effect equation: There’s something making it hurt, and there is also something that will stop it from hurting (eg, medication, rest, heat packs, etc). Some disabilities, however, are marked by pain that does not have a cause or a cure. Something can hurt with no warning, no reason, and there will be nothing that can stop it from hurting. It’s unfair, it’s scary, and it can also be confusing and frustrating to those around us. That’s where we need patience, for our friends and loved ones to take a moment to realise this pain was not a choice and there’s not much we can do about it. There’s no healing potion, no spell or cleric or herb or simple prayer that will just make it go away, and it may hit at very inconvenient times for all of us. Do try to avoid the temptation to suggest treatments, and be aware that one very good way to make us feel better is for anyone telling us that diet or yoga will make it all better to be immediately removed from the vicinity - preferably by trebuchet, but the nearest door will do! Which is to say, well meaning concern and offers to help and advise aren’t what we need. We need companions who will stay with us, listen, understand that whilst we might be able to go adventuring one day we may not be able to manage the same thing the next day.

And, of course, that we are probably more frustrated than anyone else by having sudden onset and unpredictable symptoms prevent us from living our lives.

Trauma and PTSD

Let’s go a little deeper now, because it really is impossible to discuss Shadowheart’s story without looking at PTSD and the marked impact it has on her life and ability to function in the ways that she wants to. The biggest thing for her for a long time is around wolves - similar to how someone in real life might be chased or even bitten by a dog in childhood and develop a fear of them, Shadowheart similarly finds her nightmares filled by the phobia of wolves. We see this in how she reacts even to just a sound, but when faced by more we have those game stats showing the just how strong that fear reaction is. Connecting by tadpole, we catch glimpses of the tiny scraps of memory that it brings back out, but it doesn’t make sense to her. There isn’t enough there to put all the pieces together. That’s something that may well feel familiar to those who have experienced memory loss from PTSD - tiny shards of that fractured memory can linger in dreams, or rush to the surface in flashbacks when exposed to a triggering stimulus. A sound, a smell, a word, a phrase, a sight, a texture, a taste - any of the senses can be the key to reopening memories that have been repressed. What I mentioned above, flashbacks, those are arguably the most severe symptoms of PTSD. In these moments, a sufferer who has encountered the triggering stimulus will find their mind can begin to recreate the entire traumatic scenario. This could even include hallucinations, but is often marked by very strong emotions and a more dream/daydream/nightmare-like rush of memories and images and sensations. “Feeling like you’re back in that moment” is the key, whether it’s limited to the emotions of feeling everything that was felt at that time, or a far more direct reliving of the memories and experiences. In the game, Shadowheart is able to confront the source of her trauma incredibly directly, and in doing so to overcome that. Real life, unfortunately, rarely affords such simple solutions. Instead there’s a lot more work with the help and support of both trained professionals and loved ones, but it is still possible to recover. Just as we see Shadowheart in her Selunite ending - finding peace with herself, her family, and even learning to bond with animals again over time - so can we in real life take the time to do the hard work (and therapy really is work) to uncover the causes of the trauma and deal with them until they no longer impact our lives so severely. Which really is to say that even though it might seem impossible, like there are just too many mages in a battle casting darkness and unfair spells constantly, it’s a fight you can still win with the right party, training, and inventory.

Memory, Identity, and Depression

Now let’s focus in on the memories. Shadowheart presents us with a very distinct and severe memory loss, it’s quite clear cut at first as she can tell you what she remembers and that the rest is just not there. As we move forward into act 3, and also bringing her back to her home city surrounded by familiar things, that’s where we see her memories returning and stabilising again. She starts to identify things, talk about them, telling stories as they come back to her about her youth and the things she still recalls. This can be quite a strong parallel to a variety of memory issues, but particularly I feel this connecting to degenerative memory conditions like Dementia. This might sound odd, but there’s some strong suggestions that being around the familiar and stimulating the sufferer by talking with them often and encouraging them to talk about themselves can retain more memory. Whilst it might still fluctuate, inconsistent and changing from day to day, there can be more “good days” when that stimulus is there to bring up more positive memories.  But aside from the basic mechanics of being able to remember, there’s also a core part of our identity that’s formed by our experiences. For Shadowheart, she has lost her name, her family, her past, and anything that Shar and Viconia decided she didn’t need to be able to fill the role they made for her. She pins everything for her future on a single goal, following orders and aiming to gain what she believes to be a prestigious position that she has always wanted. Becoming “Shadowheart”, hardening herself, ensuring she doesn’t allow herself to be “weak” or to fail the task assigned to her… It becomes an entire identity. There’s nothing beyond that at first, and her arc if she regains her memories becomes about regaining her identity and working out how to reconcile everything she strived so hard for with the full reality and what her new goals have become.

And there are parts of this that can mirror depression, too. Leaning on darker thoughts, going through the motions to complete tasks without much thought beyond that one goal, and also becoming very closed off to those around you. It’s very easy to see that if Shadowheart had remained on this path, isolated from all positive influences, she would’ve continued along it easily.

It is simply easier to go along with the day to day, to sink into the comfortable and not put in that work to change, and I realise as I’m writing this that it might sound as if I am blaming those struggling with depression for not fixing it, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I know very well that easy path, how it’s simpler to push people away than to let them in, how it can be far more comfortable to avoid unpleasant thoughts and memories than to face them head on.

There really is a common theme for a lot of us to try to dye our hair and change our look as we’re pulling out of that low place, to have that strong physical difference that reminds us we are moving forwards, but it does come with a risk. We need to reconcile our entire selves, rather than simply rejecting who we were or pretending that our struggle is gone completely. Similarly, Shadowheart finds her whole look changing, a very striking and physical difference that marks her turning away from Shar and the comfort of forgetting, to the far harder path of trying to heal and face her fears.

Looking back on the essay with Astarion, there’s another moment here where we can see a parallel to addiction and former friends turning against us. This might not be so common with depression, but there may still be friends and loved ones who see a change in how a person is when recovering from an extended depressive episode and finding that they no longer fit in any more, or that the relationship is not as compatible as it used to be. That can be painful, to lose friends or even have them turning against you, but it is something we see both in the game and in real life at times.

Depression and mental illness are tough, and the recovery is arguably even tougher, but it is still very much worthwhile. Do try to ensure you have the proper and full support both from your friends and family as well as mental health professionals if at all possible.

And remember - it may well feel worse before it feels better. It might not be as simple and clear cut as a battle against physical foes, but to get out of that darkness there will be a fight and often some shadows of fears and memories that need to be brought into the light and fully understood before they can fade and shrink away. Recovery is rarely such a straight and smooth line, too, but one bad day does not erase the progress.

What We Can Learn From Shadowheart’s Story

Perhaps some opinions may differ, but one of the main things I take away from Shadowheart’s story is how patience, understanding, and letting someone work through things at their own pace as much as possible can be far more effective than trying to deny their reality or force them to change all at once. Whether we can identify and sympathise with the experiences of mental health struggles and memory difficulties, or the more direct suffering of chronic conditions and pain that doesn’t have a simple cause, there’s the common thread that we do not need to fully understand what’s going on to show kindness and care. It might be a tough concept to really empathise with from an outside perspective, but these experiences can be quite simply terrifying. It’s said that a lot of fear comes from the unknown, and that’s a common theme here too. From not knowing the real cause of visceral physical pain, to a literal lack of memories, to the absolute peak of fear in the form of PTSD and phobias when we may not know what triggered it or when it will subside - all of them stem from that unknown. That’s why it will always be important to talk about these topics, to gain understanding not only of those around us but of ourselves too - even if you have been fortunate enough to never identify directly with anything covered in today’s topics, you might just understand a little more about yourself in other ways. So I’m going to leave today with a slight apology for the delay between pieces, and also if this one feels less coherent - I’m feeling a little foggy myself from the impact of some stresses and medications, and an all-too-common lack of quality sleep on this side of the screen! But I hope you have found some of this to be interesting as we’ve looked through Shadowheart’s journey through her story, and how this can mirror real world experiences of disability and chronic health symptoms. As always, I’d love to open the floor to any of you in the comments or reblogs to talk about how you’ve connected to the story of Shar’s disciple and her journey to recover what she lost. I’ll see you next time as we go over Halsin’s character and how he can relate to disability, followed by a couple of bonus rounds from NPCs if I have time and energy before the month is out.

Be kind to yourselves and those around you, there’s no way to know what pains someone might be keeping quiet about. Patience and compassion can go a long way to helping us all find the light in the dark~

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi! My friend recommended your blog as a nice place for some research about Autism.

I've started to notice a few things and question if I could be autistic, but I wasn't able to find enough information about it while researching.

Do you have any info about how to identify autism in adults? It would help a lot 😊

Hi there,

I’ve found some resources. I’ll leave excerpts below. They are a bit long.

Common signs of autism in adults include:

* finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling

* getting very anxious about social situations

* finding it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own

* seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to

* finding it hard to say how you feel

* taking things very literally – for example, you may not understand sarcasm or phrases like "break a leg"

* having the same routine every day and getting very anxious if it changes

Other signs of autism

You may also have other signs, like:

* not understanding social "rules", such as not talking over people

* avoiding eye contact

* getting too close to other people, or getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close to you

* noticing small details, patterns, smells or sounds that others do not

* having a very keen interest in certain subjects or activities

* liking to plan things carefully before doing them

Autism in women and men

Autism can sometimes be different in women and men.

Autistic women may:

* have learned to hide signs of autism to ‘fit in’ - by copying people who don’t have autism

* be quieter and hide their feelings

* appear to cope better with social situations

* show fewer signs of repetitive behaviours

This means it can be harder to tell you're autistic if you're a woman.

Common symptoms of autism in adults include:

* Difficulty interpreting what others are thinking or feeling

* Trouble interpreting facial expressions, body language, or social cues

* Difficulty regulating emotion

* Trouble keeping up a conversation

* Inflection that does not reflect feelings

* Difficulty maintaining the natural give-and-take of a conversation; prone to monologues on a favorite subject

* Tendency to engage in repetitive or routine behaviors

* Only participates in a restricted range of activities

* Strict consistency to daily routines; outbursts when changes occur

* Exhibiting strong, special interests

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is typically a life-long condition, though early diagnosis and treatment can make a tremendous difference.

Autism Symptoms in Adults at Home

Other peoples’ feelings baffle you. You have a collection of figurines on your desk that must be in the same order at all times. These, and other common manifestations of ASD, may be apparent in adults at home:

* Your family members lovingly refer to you as the “eccentric professor” of the family, even though you don’t work in academia.

* You’ve always wanted a best friend, but never found one.

* You often invent your own words and expressions to describe things.

* Even when you’re in a quiet place, like the library, you find yourself making involuntary noises like clearing your throat over and over.

* You follow the same schedule every day of the week, and don’t like unexpected events.

* Expressions like, “Curiosity killed the cat” or “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch” are confusing to you.

* You are always bumping into things and tripping over your own feet.

* In your leisure time, you prefer to play individual games and sports, like golf, where everyone works for themselves instead of working toward a common goal on a team.

Symptoms of ASD vary greatly from person to person based on the severity of the condition. These or similar manifestations of ASD may be apparent at work:

* When you’re having a conversation with your boss, you prefer to look at the wall, her shoes, or anywhere but directly into her eyes.

* Your co-workers say that you speak like a robot.

* Each item on your desk has a special place, and you don’t like when the cleaning company rearranges it to dust.

* You are really good at math, or software coding, but struggle to succeed in other areas.

* You talk to your co-workers the same way you talk with your family and friends.

* During meetings, you find yourself making involuntary noises, like clearing your throat over and over.

* When talking with your boss, you have difficulty telling if he is happy with your performance or mad at you.

In addition, autistic individuals may exhibit extraordinary talents in visual skills, music, math, and art. And roughly 40 percent of autistic individuals have average or above-average intelligence.

Some of the characteristics that adults with an autism diagnosis commonly report, include:

Communication

You may:

* Find joining in conversation difficult.

* Speak in a flat, monotone voice, or not speak.

* Have trouble relating to other people’s thoughts or emotions.

* Use repetitive language.

* Find it hard to read someone’s body language and emotions.

* Find that others don’t understand how you are feeling and say that “it is hard to know what you are thinking”.

* Dominate conversations and provide excessive information on the specific topics you are interested in.

* Find it easier to talk ‘at’ people, rather than engaging in a two-way conversation.

* Have trouble reading social cues.

* Find ‘small talk’ such as talking about the weather and what others are doing difficult.

* Take things literally. For example, if someone says ‘oh that’s a piece of cake’ or ‘you’re barking up the wrong tree’ you find it difficult to know what they mean.

* Be blunt in your assessment of people and things.

* Find it difficult to maintain eye contact when you are talking to someone.

* Have your own unique phrases and descriptive words.

* Find building and maintaining close friendships and relationships difficult.

* You may make faces that others find unusual.

* You may make gestures when speaking with people.

Behaviour

* You enjoy consistent routine and schedules and get upset or anxious should that routine or schedule be changed.

* You find it upsetting when something happens that you did not expect to happen.

* Have trouble regulating your emotional responses.

* Are bothered if your things are moved or rearranged by someone.

* Have a series of repetitive rituals or behaviours that you follow on a daily basis.

* You make noises in places where you are expected to be quiet.

* Preference for highly specific interests or hobbies that you spend a lot of time on.

* Have difficulty multi-tasking.

* Have a very strong reaction or no reaction at all to sensory stimuli, such as textures, sounds, smells and taste.

* Like operating solo – both at work and play.

I hope these sources help you. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[moonshynecybin]

I remember many years ago, someone (and for the life of me I cannot remember who, but I think it was a commentator) called Vale "the man with the golden mask", basically saying that the Vale we see on TV and in interviews is only the person he wants us to see and that only a few people know the real Vale, and for me this has always explained why he is the way he is with Marc and why it went way from the ranch.

Unlike with people like Biaggi, Stoner, Jlo etc, he clearly genuinely liked Marc (I think possibly because Marc reminded him of himself lol but that's a whole different topic) and I always got the impression he let Marc see a bit of the real Vale behind the mask bc he trusted him, then when Marc rocked up at his ranch with his whole team, he saw it as Marc trying to outdo him and broke that trust. Vale then sees trusting Marc as a mistake, overanalyses everything Marc does on and off track from that point on (rightly or wrongly), sees a lot of it as Marc deliberately sabotaging him, even though it's just his usual demon behaviour, and then 2015 cements his view that he's made a huge mistake in ever trusting Marc with the real Vale. And that's why still now, even though he's had fights and crashes with a lot of other riders, he can't let 2015 go, not just because of the 10th, but because the others were just battles on track; Marc hurt him on a personal level and he blames Marc as much as himself for allowing that to happen. I think the "the mask" went back into place the day Marc left that ranch and has stayed very firmly there ever since, and had it not, maybe things would be different today. Or at least, that is how I've always seen it (sorry for the essay!)

i COMPLETELY agree.... ive already talked like. truly so much about how i think that marc bringing his mechanics to the ranch was seen as the first shot in their little war by vale... like marc transgressing on vale's territory and bringing the smoke to a fun friendly ranch day was spun in vale's brain as MARC being the one to throw the first stone here... like yeah vale has a pattern of icing people out once they become real rivals but i actually think he came into being competitive with marc still open to being friends (or at least thinking that lol) !! and then marc shows up at his house like remember i want to destroy you on track! :3 which for marc's insane brain (mechanics are my familyyy and what happens on track stays there) is fine ! but not for vale lol. and then there's insecurity and ego and marc being an annoying crazy person et cetera blah blah blah so it goes = divorce

i also think ummmm. literally every day about when marc had to introduce valentino to the audience in his documentary, and the first thing he said was "to me, valentino is SHOW." and then also literally immediately identified ranch day as definitively when vale started icing him out... like even if he was in denial during the 2015 season, i think in hindsight he is PAINFULLYYYY aware of exactly when that mask went back up AND when he was unceremoniously removed from the small circle of people who ever get to see vale without it. like there was a shift. and it hurts his feelings lol.

and youre so right! marc IS different than those other guys bc they had a really good relationship before... vale's ability to show the press only what he wants them to see is one of his most effective mechanisms of self protection. (SO effective that he apparently does it in his real life relationships, like with his dad)... if no one sees the real you, then you never have to be vulnerable. if youre never vulnerable, its a lot harder to get hurt. unfortunately for vale it also makes it a lot harder to build meaningful connections ! so i think when he let marc in and then was "betrayed" by him, it was a) a rare occurrence for him to get that close with another racer (academy boys are a lil different obvs. like he thought marc was his equal, which i think compelled him AND freaked him out) and b) deeply effecting when he felt like that trust got betrayed... so even though hes the aggressor in the sepang drama i think he felt pretty victimized at that point. which like yeah is delusional ! but is also just sometimes how emotions work. especially when you have trust ego and vulnerability issues lol

[finniestoncrane]

Yanno what id love to ask this purely for self indulgent reasons. What do you think of arkham eddie with an SO who's also autistic since we all are pretty damn sure he is? Like does the connection between them happen faster due to similar communication styles, how does he feel about parallel play, etc

YOU ARE JUST PREACHING TO ME THIS IS URGH and it made me feel so soft and warm. i'm going to try and NOT make this about my self-insert oc, but this is literally her and eddie, they are autistic 4 autistic/bisexual 4 bisexual love

but yeah, this is my daydreams literally written out 💚

i figure eddie would never have been diagnosed. he's old enough to not have been identified as anything other than "gifted" at school and i think his parents seem like the type who would avoid diagnosis out of ~shame~ so he'd be misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all (until batman comes along with his non-degree and decides eddie is an obsessive compulsive narcissist. which yeah, fair. but also hello pot, this is the kettle speaking????)

anyway i think he would avoid all long-term relationships out of trust and a need to prove himself as above human needs and completely elf-sufficient, but it'd be easiest for him to get on with someone who is also autistic, even if they had very different communication styles. and i bet that would confuse him at first like "why does this idiot not bother me as much as all the other idiots"

a lot of the "bonding" would be done in silence, and would probably come from a place of blunt honesty, where eddie realised he could trust his new friend because they're either not afraid enough to lie to him or are too honest to know better. and he'd relish the ability to turn to someone and say "you are making my space crowded with your existance and i need you to leave" without them getting all moody, because they'd understand immediately

there might be a point where he picks up on things that make his new buddy a lil bit different, but i think he'd recognise them as brilliance before he thought of them as something "wrong" with them. mostly, because he'd see himself reflected back. hyperfixations and obsessions with certain acts/scenarios/things, an either intense focus or a complete lack of it, prone to sensory overload (which eddie doesn't know the name of before he meets his friend, he just assumes he has anger issues and is bad for going into tantrums), and there's bound to be a point where they both come to the realisation that neither of them understands other people's emotions or morals (cue a shared conversation about how people think batman is acceptable but not eddie)

going back to the bonding in silence thing, he's 100% given the key to life when he realises parralell play works for him. like you're telling him that you can be in the same room with someone and do your own thing completely, but they're there if you think of a stupid pun or you want to walk over to them to say "look what i made" have them go "wow!" and then turn around and go back to work???? where has this BEEN all his life (although now that he thinks about it, he did enjoy quietly reading amongst the other inmates at arkham)

anyway, i think at a certain point he'd find the bravery to tell his new friend that he thinks they're soulmates. maybe he'd follow that up with a confusion about romantic intent or interest, maybe he'd request a formal recognition of their friendship. and no doubt his lil buddy would be confused until eddie says "we're soulmates because we are literally the same person. we do all the same things. we think the same way." and his friend is like "that's sweet, eddie. and yeah, we might be soulmates. but i think a lot of that is because we're both autistic"

and eddie is like

"we're both what? so you're? and i'm? OH!!!!!!!"

and then everything falls into place, like he's just solved a complex riddle he didn't even know he was working through and he's stuck standing there for a while like:

[redditreceipts]

i hope that whatever you write on here makes your life easier in some way. i don't know how, i just hope it does some good to someone somewhere. a lot of people are struggling right now, a lot of people are angry, and i know you're trying your best to make the world a better, safer place

it's strange how much kinship i feel with GCs on here. you're all screaming for safety, support for the next generation, an end to the oppression, an end to the patriarchy

we might be fighting on opposite sides- we've probably both seen some very different, very hard things. we've both a lot to the ways we have to live. i wish we could get along. i wish it didn't have to be this way

i won't argue that i'm a man despite my biology- not here anyway, there's no point, it won't achieve anything- but i hope you can find more friends like me and understand us better. we're not liars. we don't want to cause danger. i would beg you to listen to us but i understand that you can't.

i understand that you only hate trans women because a lot of men are total pieces of shit and don't care about anyone else. there's no point telling you that most trans women aren't bad. they're not good either. people just do what they do, both good and bad. nobody's perfect, and there are bad people in every area of society. Not all women are good. Goodness and womanhood are two different things.

i hope that your life gets better, and that your world gets bigger, and friendlier, and easier to be in.

-a trans brother

Hey :) thanks for the kind words, but don't you see how you sound kinda like one of these performatively compassionate preachers talking to atheists? something like "hey. I know that you've had it hard. Now it's difficult for you to let Jesus into your heart. You've turned your back to God because people have hurt you. I understand that. But some day, I hope, you will return to Him, because He has nothing but love for you."

And I also don't know where you get the notion that I don't have any trans friends or that I don't know trans people. I interact with trans people about four times a week. Half of the women I've dated have identified as something other than women. I also use preferred pronouns, as long as the person in question is not a total piece of shit.

It would actually kinda funny if we knew each other in real life, and you think that I'm some kind of super progressive person lmao.

And also, why do you think that saying that manhood or womanhood isn't determined by some nebulous non-falsifiable spiritual bullshit means that I hate trans women? Or that I think that all trans women are bad? Or that all biological females are good? I've literally never said that I think that all trans women are bad people. I just say that they are not women.

I also don't know where you get the notion that I think that trans people are lying. I actually think that the majority of trans-identified people actually believe that they are literally the opposite sex, just as the majority of catholics believe that they are literally recieving the body and the blood of Christ in their sermons. The only problem arises when people start to push their beliefs onto others. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, but nobody is entitled to affirmation from the world around them.

[etherealspacejelly]

Neopronouns are not even real pronouns. A pronoun is a noun used to describe a living being. They/Them is fine, they are real pronouns used in the English language. And yes, while I think there is no possible way for someone who has boy or girl genes to actually be non-binary, I will respect them as a person. But, neopronouns, however, are way over the top. I’ve seen people online who identify as like, xe/xem. That’s ridiculous, they’re not even a part of the English language. I’ve seen one person who identified as shark/sharkself. That is so annoying. I’m not gonna call you “shark” bro. Nobody is gonna call you that, except for maybe people as delusional as you. So, I’m conclusion, yes, neopronouns are ridiculous and stupid and unnecessary. Whoever uses them certainly needs mental help, but instead we are celebrating and giving them parades and telling them it’s fine and not stupid at all to identify as a fucking shark.

That being said, if we Normalize these outrageous neopronouns, I don't think I'll be able to handle meeting another three or more person with unique neopronouns, I don’t think I'll care about memorizing them if we don’t get along. I can only imagine that inside their head they are going like “Why can’t everyone understand me? why can’t anyone respect me? why can’t anyone get along with me? me… me…me…”. This is just starting to become a narcissistic play.  It’s just sad that you yourself are intentionally creating a situation that excludes you from other people. You are making yourself too different, you eventually get depressed, commit die and well, will anybody care about you in the end?

Pronouns replace nouns and they are a part of a language. Not something we just make up because we think we are more special than anyone else.

Also, this stuff only appeals to children, or adults with some sort of arrested development. No mature human being would want to go by “cupcakeself”.

We all have names. If you want to rebel against pronouns why can’t you just use your name? Be “Johnself” or “Sallyself” or something people can remember. We aren’t going to trouble ourselves to memorize some made up nounself words.

You’re lucky if we can remember your name let alone some made up ridiculousness.

I hope everyone with neopronouns die.

hey anon. anon. just a question for you. does that Actually Genuinely affect you? like at all? do you know anyone in real life who uses neopronouns? or is it just people online who are literally just minding their business. hmm?

also. all words are made up dingus it came free with your fucking language. we make up words all the time. selfie is in the dictionary now. it wasnt 50 years ago. does that make it not a real word? no. it does not. because language is a tool used by human beings to describe ourselves and the world around us, and to communicate ideas and knowledge. do you think we just. found a dictionary under a rock one day?

if neopronouns bother you that much, just block people who use them. block the neopronoun tag. or perhaps just get off tumblr. touch some grass. focus on a real problem instead of people online using words you dont like. there are people dying right now anon. the planet is on fire. sharkself pronouns arent hurting you.

also. you said that neopronouns only appeal to children, then said that all neopronoun users should die. so... you think children should die? you want children to kill themselves anon? is that what you want? you seem like a lovely person /s

and seeing as you mentioned nonbinary people. you know that there are more sexes than just male and female right? like biologically. they taught you male and female in school to simplify things for your developing brain, like how they tell you that electrons are particles and you cant square root -1. but once you start studying these things at a more in depth level, you realise that they arent that simple at all. biological sex exists on a spectrum. it is a collection of attributes that can behave any number of ways. including hormones, genitalia, chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics, and more.

furthermore, gender and sex are not the same thing. but i cant be bothered to explain that to you because you will refuse to understand it anyway, and ive wasted enough time talking to you as it is.

if you send me anything like this again im just going to delete it, but i wanted to at least try and talk some sense into you first.