#like oh I absolutely know this boy has no idea what romance is. no fucking clue about it or sex or ANYTHING

[what-the-fuck-khr]

absolutely enamoured and obsessed now with the way someone drew Luffy with huge as fuck canines that he just shows off bc he has a big as fuck grin and likes to stretch his cheek to show em off. fucking so into that actually. what a design feature that could’ve been on him. I’m never gonna shut up about this

edit: here is the fanart in question

[lexirosewrites]

Hey happy slick sundays! This is inspired by a Drabble by wheatnoodle and your fics, hope you like it.

*in this universe the upside down never happened but Steve still became pack mom to all of the kids and saved them from various situations*

The Corroded Coffin boys have just had about enough of it. Every session it was “Steve this” and “Steve that”, the pups could not seem to shut up about Harrington and they had all about had it. They didn’ t care that he was an omega and they didn’t wanna hear about how the King had supposedly changed. According to the kids rainbows shot out his ass and everything he touched turned to gold.

It was with these thoughts in his head, intensified by just having finished their weekly dnd session, that Gareth got thinking. The four older boys kicked back and within minutes he couldn’t hold back the vitriol from pouring out his mouth. “There’s no way I can take much longer of that guys” Gareth said while running his hand over his face. The others already knew what he meant as this wasn’t the first time they had sat back and complained about the ever present Steve shaped stain in their lives. Jeff sitting forward gets a contemplative look on his face, “there has to be some kind of way to deter him from hanging around, I mean the pups need a wake up call on who they idolize”. This thought would then spur them all into trying to figure out how to get back at Steve while showing the pups who he truly was on the inside. A spoiled, stuck up, and rotten omega.

You see even during his reign, there had been rumors. No one really took them seriously at first because being the most popular omega in school meant stories true or false circulated daily. But there had been one rumor, one that at the time, they had all laughed at and joked around about. One that they could maybe use to their advantage; that King Steve had a crush on Eddie the Freak Munson and that’s why he avoided him at all costs. The rumor was started by Tommy of course and while the boys weren’t sure it was true (it was) there were signs present day that it might just be. (Steve blushes like crazy around him, compliments him, bakes something for every dnd session, the list goes on)

All that to say Gareth gets the brilliant idea that Eddie should just try and romance Steve. I mean he dated just about anything that moves, and the pups were joking about a dry spell lately (coincidentally lining up with when Eddie and him started interacting more), so this could be their golden opportunity. Get all the dirt they can on sir highness to prove to the pups to drop him, make him fall in love, and then leave him in the dust when it’s all said and done. It was a genius plan.

Well that is until Eddie is 3 months in and Steve still hasn’t wanted to have sex because he doesn’t want this to be like all the other times. And they’re 4 months in and him and Wayne are watching the game while Steve cooks them all dinner in the kitchen. And then they’re 5 months in and Eddie realizes that Steve is maybe one of the best people he will ever be privileged to know, and oh god fuck he’s in love, he wants to mate him and pup him and spend everyday just watching the sunshine that is Steve Harrington. But the guilt sits heavy in his stomach, like he swallowed too much lake water and he’s waiting to finally throw it back up.

And Steve finds out of course. While the other boys had come around to Steve, finally seeing that he wasn’t the bad villain they had always thought him to be, Gareth had also been struggling. Realizing what a horrible suggestion it had been to begin with, learning about Steve’s home life and past relationships, he felt they had to tell him the truth. Unanimously they decide to tell Steve, all of them together. And it goes just about how you’d expect it. Steve left absolutely gutted, his omega weeps because the instincts that he followed that led him to Eddie hurt him just like everyone else had in the past. Trying to hold it together through his shame and embarrassment Steve tells them that he’s sorry. He’s sorry that he was ever the kind of person they thought deserved this. Sorry that he had hung around so much. Sorry that he was there at all. Still putting others before himself Steve tells them not to tell the pups about any of it, that he won’t be mentioning it either and they can all just move on with their lives. He won’t come around anymore, he won’t show his face when he drops off the pups, and he’ll even ask them not to mention him to them if they want him to. He even ends it with saying that maybe one day they could be friends, just friends, but that’s not right now and he needs time to even speak to any of them again after this.

After that life goes on. Steve isn’t quite the same after though. He doesn’t date at all, or mention his dreams for the future like he used to to Robin. There is no talk about his dream Alpha, (who had always sounded like a description of Eddie) or details about his fictional hoard of pups. Eventually he leaves Hawkins in tow of Robin when she leaves for Chicago; he works retail until finding his calling volunteering at an animal shelter to which he then gets his certifications as a vet tech.

It isn’t until years later that Steve comes back to Hawkins. Mrs. Henderson started developing some health issues, and there is no way he wasn’t gonna be there for her and Dustin. Dustin who still doesn’t know what happened all those years ago, none of them do. Eddie’s still in town, working as the head mechanic for thatcher tires, and he still talks to all of the pups.

Of course they end up running into each other, what else did Steve even expect. It’s hurts at first to know his heart still flutters when he sees Eddie. That even after all this time, and what he did, the omega still couldn’t help but feel that pull. They’re both in their late 20s now, Eddie a little closer to 30 every day. Both of them maturing in different ways while being apart. It doesn’t take long for them to start a tentative friendship.

A year later and Steve has settled back down into Hawkins. He works at Hawkins Animal Hospital, has a little one bedroom apartment, and he spends an unreasonable amount of time with Eddie when he isn’t at the Hendersons.

Ultimately it’s Eddie who breaks, he can’t stand them talking around the elephant in the room that is their feelings for each other. He professes that he never stopped loving Steve, that he was the first person he opened his heart to and how he would never forgive himself for hurting him the way that he did. He wants another chance and will jump through whatever hoops set out for him if it means that they can be together. Steve is floored by this confession, fully believing that he was the only one that had ever harbored any romantic feelings to begin with.

Steve despite his disbelief takes what Eddie says seriously. If he claims he will jump through hoops to prove himself, then let him. If Eddie is prepared to marry, mate, and move in with Steve right away then they will. But if not they can forget all about it and just go back to normal. Of course not even thinking about it Eddie grabs Steve, and to his surprise, immediately drives them to the courthouse.

my chest fucking hurts and i’m gonna cry about this. i love the angst and hurt so much😭 steve’s heartbreak and feeling worthless and eddie being in love but ruining it from the beginning!!!!!! delicious!!!!

also you guys know i appreciate a good “dating someone as a prank” fic since i wrote one two years ago just to hurt my own feelings😅

[arc-misadventures]

Would You Care To Join Us? 2

Jaune: Nora, I need your… advice.

Nora: Oh?! Fearless Leder needs my help?! This is a glorious day!

Jaune: I’m already starting to regret this…

Nora: So tell me gloriously leader! What can I help you with?

Jaune: How does one… get a girl…? How does one make a girl your girlfriend?

Nora: Why are you asking me that; Couldn’t you ask, Rin, or Pyrrha?

Jaune: Pyrrha’s only been on publicity dates, meant to show off something, or someone. No romance in those at all. And has, Rin ever been on anything close to a date?

Nora: Ahh, good points. But, I’ve never dated before, why are you asking me?

Jaune: Cause it’s you, Nora.

Nora: Ahh! That’s why you’re the leader! Always coming up with the smart plans there!

Jaune: So… any ideas?

Nora: Who’s the girl you’re trying to win over?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Ms. Goodwitch…

Nora: Triple G?!

Jaune: Don’t call her that!

Nora: Sorry…

Jaune: Haa… Okay, so can you help me?

Nora: I can!

Jaune: Awesome!

Jaune: How…?

Nora: Hmmm… Oh I know! You should have sex with, Blake in her classroom!

Jaune: …

Jaune: The fuck?!

Nora: I know it’s crazy, but hear me out. So, you sleep with, Blake in, Ms. Goodwitch’s classroom, then she stumbles upon you, and then you ask her to join in! Simple as that!

Jaune: …

Jaune: That’s the craziest plan I ever heard…

Nora: But, it could work~?

Jaune: Even if I agree to this plan, answer me one thing: Why, Blake?

Nora: She’s kinky, she’d totally do it.

Jaune: …

Jaune: She probably would.

Jaune: Haaa… Fine I’ll do it… But, if this back fires, and I wind up in detention, you’re banned from having pancakes for a week.

Nora: You wouldn’t dare!

Jaune: Pray that you don’t find out.

~~~

Blake: Oh fuck~?!

Jaune: Honestly, I thought you slap me in the face for even suggesting we do this. But, you’re really getting into this, Blake.

Blake: Oh~! Can you blame me? You have no idea how many boxes this ticks off, and me on~!

Jaune: Really? Care to tell me? Maybe I can check off another item on that list for you~?

Blake: Doing it in a classroom. Ooph~! The possibility of being caught. Doing a human. Actually getting off~!

Jaune: Ouch, how many bad lovers have you had?

Blake: Too many! Oh! We should film this, and send it to them!

Jaune: Beg pardon?

Blake: Those losers would absolutely… Ohhh~! Would absolutely lose it if they saw me actually getting off, to a human no less! Oh gods~! We should have done this sooner~!

Jaune: I-I’m not really sure about…?!

Ruby: Blake, are you here? I want the next volume of… Ninjas in… love…?

Jaune: Uhh… hi, Ruby…?

Ruby: H-Hi…

Jaune: Uhh… Blake, and I are kinda busy right now… you can ask her for that book later.

Ruby: O-Okay… whoa that’s massive…

Jaune: But, in the meantime… w-would you care to join us?

Ruby: Yes!

Blake: A threesome?! Fuck yeah, another item off my checklist!

~~~

Nora: Ruby?

Jaune: Yeah…

Nora: How did it go?

Jaune: Blake got… kinky so I didn’t really do it a lot with her.

Nora: Makes sense.

Jaune: So, Ruby asked me to join her in the classroom again.

Nora: Oh cool! Treat her nicely!

Jaune: Don’t worry, I will!

~~~

Ruby: H-How are you… Ohh~! How are you so good with knots? Mmmm~!

Jaune: Boy scout, easiest badge I ever got

Ruby: I knew it! You’re a total boy scout!

Jaune: And, you’re loving it~!

Ruby: Hell yeah~! Ohhh~!

Jaune: Tell me; You like being tied up, how about being gagged?

Ruby: Oh fuck yeah!

Jaune: Alright then, let’s…?!

Weiss: Ruby, did you take my binder… A-Again…?

Ruby: N-No…

Jaune: Hmmm… That didn’t sound so sincere. Did it, Weiss?

Weiss: N-No it didn’t…

Jaune: Would you care to join us, Weiss? Maybe then we can get her to talk.

Weiss: …?!

~~~

Nora: Did, Weiss join in?

Jaune: Yeah… yeah she did…

Nora: Was it bad?

Jaune: Oddly specifically kinky…

Nora: Eh?

~~~

Weiss: Grrk! Grrk! Grrk!

Jaune: Oh, are you enjoying yourself, bitch?

Weiss: Mmmph~?!

Jaune: D-Did you just…? Who said you could do that?

Weiss: Mmm-mmrrry!

Jaune: Looks like I’m going to to have to puni…

Yang: Did someone say, ‘Pun?!’

Jaune: Uhhh…?

Weiss: …?!

Jaune: No… no they did not…

Yang: Oh… Uhh…? What’s going on here…?

Jaune: Exploring, Weiss’s kink…

Yang: Kink?

Jaune: Domination…

Yang: Oh… that’s unexpected…

Jaune: Yeah…

Yang: …

Jaune: Are you just going to stand there, or would you care to join us, Yang?

Yang: Oh~?

~~~

Nora: Yang? You got the wrong blonde, Fearless Leader.

Jaune: Yeah…

Nora: So… Are you going to try again with, Yang?

Jaune: Yeah, she asked me to help her explore her kink.

Nora: What’s her kink?

Jaune: Beats me.

~~~

Yang: Ohh~! Big bro! We can’t do this here~!

Jaune: I am so conflicted right now! I have seven sisters, and you look like all of them! And, you want to do this?!

Yang: Because, its so god damn hot~!

Jaune: That’s what makes it worse!

Yang: Forget about it, just focus on me, and the moment, big bro~!

Jaune: Gods… Why is my little sister such a…?!

Emerald: Shit, where did I place that…?! That…?

Jaune: Uhhh… Hi… Emerald…

Emerald: Hi…

Yang: Yo~!

Emerald: Hi… Uhhh… A-Are you two related…?

Jaune: N-No…

Emerald: B-But… L-Lil sis…?

Jaune: It’s… its her kink… So…

Emerald: Oh…

Jaune: So… so are you going to do whatever it is you were going to do, or would you like to join us instead?

Emerald: J-Join…?

~~~

Nora: A brother complex?

Jaune: Yeah, I thought only girls with brothers would develop a brother complex like my sisters. But, apparently not.

Nora: Yeah…

Nora: So, Emerald… How was that?

Jaune: Also into the brother complex thing too.

Nora: Okay…

Jaune: She asked for a second run.

Nora: She did?

Jaune: She said she wanted to play something out.

Nora: Oh really? What does she want to play out?

~~~

Emerald: I’m sorry!

Jaune: For what?!

Emerald: I’m sorry for stealing!

Jaune: No you’re not! You’re sorry you got caught!

Emerald: OHH~!

Jaune: Oh? You like that? You wanted to get caught didn’t you! So you could be punished you naughty butch!

Emerald: N-N-NooooOoh~?!

Jaune: You do~! Well, guess I’ll have to try harder to punish you, you slu…?!

Cinder: Emerald?! Are you here, we need to… to…?!

Jaune: Uhh…?!

Emerald: C-Cinder?! W-What are you doing here?!

Cinder: I was… I was looking… L-Looking for you…

Emerald: F-For what…?

Cinder: I… I don’t remember… oh gods… its so big…

Jaune: Oh… well would you like to join us maybe we can jog your memory?

Cinder: J-Join…?

~~~

Nora: So, Cinder joined in, eh?

Jaune: Yeah, Emerald really enjoyed it when, Cinder joined in on the action.

Nora: Must have a crush on her.

Jaune: I’d bet money on that.

Nora: So, did, Cinder ask you for a spin too~?

~~~

Cinder: AhhHhh~!

Jaune: I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?

Cinder: No. It’s just to so~!

Jaune: I’ll go slow… be nice, and gentle, just like you asked.

Cinder: Oh dear~! Hold me!

Jaune: I’m here honey, I’m here… eh?!

Cinder: Huw?

Neo: 🙂

Jaune: H-Hi…?

Neo: 😁👋

Cinder: N-Neo?! What are you doing here?!

Neo: 😍🍆💦

Cinder: You want to join us?

Neo: 🤩

Jaune: Whoa hey?! I didn’t say the line!

~~~

Nora: So, Cinder is into softcore?

Jaune: I think she’s more into the feeling of being loved, because she hasn’t ever experienced genuine live in all her life. In the afterglow she delved into to some… heavy stuff… she’s been through a lot…

Nora: Oh… I’m sorry to hear that… so… What does, Neo want?

Jaune: She’s mute, so she didn’t tell me.

Nora: So she’ll show you then?

Jaune: Probably.

~~~

Ruby: 🥴

Jaune: Okay… This is unexpected…

Ruby: 🚫❤️❔

Jaune: I didn’t say that. I will say, you certainly are tighter than her!

Ruby: 😏

Jaune: What’s that smile about?

Weiss: 😍

Jaune: Okay, now this is a semblance I would like to play with!

Nora: 🥰

Jaune: Okay, I haven’t done it with her, so this is kinda…??

Nora: Jaune! We ran out of…?!

Jaune: Uhh…?!

Nora: N-Neo…?

Nora: 😘

Nora: You’re fucking me… but, not me…?

Jaune: Uhh… yeah…? I-It was her idea!

Nora: 😇

Nora: I’m a little offended really… I mean, you’re fucking me, but not the real me? Why?

Jaune: Oh… Well, we can fix that… So, would you care to join us?

Nora: …

Nora: Fuck me… Literally~!

~~~

Nora: That was awesome!

Jaune: Glad you like it. I thought you would be unnerved with doing yourself… like that…

Nora: Naww it was fucking hot! You should do it again, but this time with, Blake! She’d really get into it!

Jaune: It worries me that she would…

Nora: So, up for another round fearless leader~?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Sure.

~~~

Nora: Ahhh~Haa~! H-Harder~!

Jaune: Oh? Of course you like it hard, and rough.

Nora: Hell yeah I do! Ohh~! What do you take me for, some pillow… Ahhh~! Pillow princess?!

Jaune: Like hell I would, I just expected you’d like things little… HARDER!

Nora: AHHHH~HHHHH~!

Jaune: That’s more like it~! Scream for me bitch!

Velvet: Yeah, scream for him you slut!

Jaune: AHHH?! What the?! Velvet, what the hell are you doing here?

Velvet: Waiting for my turn.

Jaune: Your turn?!

Velvet: Yeah, you fucked, Blake, then, Ruby showed up, and then you had a threesome with her. Now, I’m here, and I’m waiting for you two to finish so I can have my turn.

Jaune: Well,I’s happily ask if you would care to join is, but how the hell did you know we were doing this?

Velvet: Blake told me.

Jaune: Son’a bitch!

~~~

Nora: Blake blabbed?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: Of course she did… I’ll go teach her a lesson. You go tame the rabbit. She’s going to lose it if she doesn’t get her fix.

Jaune: Should I bring a spare change of clothes with me?

Nora: Wouldn’t hurt.

~~~

Velvet: Ghack?! J-Jaune?!! Y-You’re… Oh fuck~?! C-Chocking me! Oh~?!

Jaune: That’s because I need to hold you in place you in heat bunny slut!

Velvet: Oh gods~?!

Jaune: Besides, you can deny it all you want, you got tighter the moment I squeezed~!

Velvet: OH-OHHHH~!

Jaune: He… squirter… that’s a first…

Coco: Holy fuck…

Jaune: Coco?!

Velvet: Co-co~? Heyyyy~! Would you care to join us, Coco~? I need help taming the big fella~!

Coco: Join you?

~~~

Jaune: Evidently, Velvet was in heat…

Nora: That’s a thing?! I thought that was some racist stereotype?

Jaune: According to, Velvet it only happens to females, and certain types of faunas.

Nora: Bunnies being one of them?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: So did, Coco join you?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: Really? I thought she was gay.

Jaune: Me too. But, she asked for another go so…

Nora: Maybe she’s curious?

Jaune: Maybe. I’ll do it, I just hope what happened with my sister-in-law doesn’t happen again…

Nora: Sister-in-what now?

~~~

Coco: Fuck!Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK~!

Jaune: Enjoying yourself?

Coco: Oh gods?! Why the fuck did I use those worthless dildos?! Ahhh~fuck~?!

Jaune: Ahh, crap. Looks like I did it again.

Coco: Did… Ahh! Did what aga-ahhhh~!

Jaune: Make a lesbian question her sexuality.

Coco: You’ve turned a lesbian straight?!

Jaune: Bisexual, but does that really matter?

Coco: You gotta… Oh fuck~?! You gotta tell me how that went down! Cause that sounds so hoOOOOOOT~!

Jaune: Maybe next time, for now lets just enjoy the…?!

Reese: Hey, guys do you know where the cafeteria… is…?

Jaune: Oh, hi Reese… The cafeteria is down here hall to your right.

Reese: Oh cool, thanks… But, uhh… I’m not that hungry anymore… Maybe you can help me gain a appetite~?

Jaune: Oh? In that case, would you care to join us?

Reese: Mmmm~! Please take care of me~!

Coco: Oh he will~! He will~!

~~~

Nora: Reese? That punk, scatter girl?

Jaune: Yep, that’s her.

Nora: So, did you help her get an appetite?

Jaune: She’s still hungry, so…?

Nora: So~?

~~~

Reese: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m…?! Ohh~?! I’m sorry sir!

Jaune: Sorry for what?! That you were cheating, or that you were caught?!

Reese: Ohhh~?!

Jaune: There… I believe you have learned your lesson, Ms. Chloris.

Reese: W-What was the lesson, Professor Arc~?

Jaune: …

(SMACK!)

Reese: OHhhh~!

Jaune: Kids these days… they never learn…?!

Arslan: Reese! Where are you? We got some… training… to do…

Jaune: Oh… Hello, Ms. Altan. Ms. Chloris is currently in the midst of some supplementary lessons. Perhaps you could come by later. Unless, you would care to join us for some extra credit?

Reese: Extra credit~! Hehehehe…

Arslan: Your name is, Jaune Arc right? You’re Pyrrha Nioks team leader, and partner.

Jaune: That’s right I am.

Arslan: Interesting~!

~~~

Nora: What was interesting?

Jaune: I don’t know, and I’m scared to find out…

Nora: You sure, cause your friend says otherwise?

Jaune: I said I was scared, not that I don’t find this hot!

~~~

Arslan: Fuck you, Nikos!

Jaune: Oh, so is sleeping with me your way of one upping, Pyrrha?

Arslan: At first… Ohh~! But, this cock is something a girl can’t deny she wants~!

Jaune: Really? Then how would you feel if I said I haven’t slept with, Pyrrha?

Arslan: Seriously?!

Jaune: OH FUCK?! You just got so much tighter?!

Arslan: Ha! Take that bitch! I got your man first! And, I’m going to make him mine~!

Pyrrha: Not if I have anything to say about it.

Jaune: Huw?! P-Pyrrha?!

Arslan: Hey bitch~! Guess who just stole your man from you!

Pyrrha: Bitch please… Let me show you how a real woman pleases a man~!

Jaune: P-Please be gentle…?

~~~

Jaune: Oh gods… My body hurts all over…

Nora: Didn’t your aura protect you? It did when we went at it.

Jaune: They broke my aura! I’m just one man, do you expect me to handle a pair of Amazonian’s all on my own?!

Nora: Oh shit really? Why did they go so hard on you?

Jaune: Evidently the pair have some history back in, Mistrial. The number one, and two always competing for top place. I just so happened to be the ‘top place’ at the moment…

Nora: The top place being your dick right~?

Jaune: …

Jaune: I wasn’t going to say it, but yeah… it was the, ‘top place’ this time…

Nora: So, who won?

Jaune: Actually they both asked for a rematch…

Nora: They, what?

~~~

Pyrrha: Oh fuuuuuck~!

Jaune: Oh gods!

Pyrrha: How does it feel, Jaune~! I’m better than that cheap slut~!

Arslan: Oh you whore! Come here you bitch!

Pyrrha: Hey?! Hands of my man you cunt!

Arslan: Bring it whore!

Pyrrha: Oh~! You bitch~!

Arslan: Mmmmph~! Make be whore~!

Pyrrha: Mmmm~! You slut~!

Arslan: Ahhh~!

Jaune: Uhh…?

Arslan: Ohh fucck~! Right there~! Use your tongue right there you slut~!

Pyrrha: Mmmmmm~!

Arslan: I’m cumming~! AHHHHHooooh fuuuuuck~!

Pyrrha: Ha, beat that bitch~!

Arslan: With pleasure~!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Should I just go? Because it seems that, I’ve become the third wheel here so…?

PA: Come here you!

Jaune: Whaaa?!

~~~

Nora: So, do you think they worked out their relationship?

Jaune: I think so? The pair may not be competing on who the better fighter is anymore, but they’re still competing with one another.

Nora: The sexual tension between the pair is rather intense. I guess you just pushed the pair over the edge.

Jaune: Define edge?

Nora: Ehhh~! Nice!

Jaune: Thank you, I’m here all week~!

Neon: Oh, there you are, Jaune~!

Jaune: Ahh?! Neon, what are you doing here?

Neon: I was told that you are considered, ‘safe.’ I’m curious how, ‘safe’ you really are, if you catch my drift.

Jaune: Drift? No, no I don’t.

Neon: I’ll see you again at your… usual hunting ground. Till later~!

Jaune: Uhh… Okay?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Did you find it weird that someone wanted to do it with me without first catching me, and another person in the act?

Nora: Yeah, that was pretty weird.

Jaune: Yeah, weird. So, any idea who snitched on us?

Nora: Blake, or Velvet, possibly both of them.

Jaune: Damn their loose lips… Nora!

Nora: Yes, Fearless Leader!

Jaune: Teach those two a lesson! I will deal with the stray cat!

Nora: At once, Fearless Leader!

~~~

Neon: Never miss a beat! Never miss a beat! Never miss a beeeeeeAaat!

Jaune: How was that, Neo? Dis a miss a beat?

Neon: You his every beat right know yhe mark handsome~!

Jaune: Good, now then, let’s try things at a different… eh? May?

May: Uhh… H-Hey, Jaune?

Jaune: Oh hey, May. Need something, or would you care to join us?

Neon: Yeah! Join us~! You won’t regret it~!

May: Uhhh… M-Maybe… But, I have a word with you later, Jaune? I want to have a word with you.

Jaune: Uhh… sure. But, what did you want to talk about?

~~~

Nora: So, how was, Neon?

Jaune: I like it when a girl does her hair in pigtails.

Nora: Why?

Jaune: Handle bars.

Nora: Nice~! So, what does, May want to talk to you about?

Jaune: Beats me, probably wants to thank me for protecting her from that grenade you almost hit her with.

Nora: Yeah… she wants to, ‘thank you~!’

~~~

Jaune: Oh gods… They’re so soft~!

May: (Slurrr-Pop~!) And, you’re so hard, and big~!

Jaune: You’re one to talk? I thought you were a B-Cup, what are those, H-Cup? How the hell did you manage to hide those?

May: Lots of binding… (Slurp~!) Otherwise they get in the way… But, now they’re right where I want them~!

Jaune: I’ll admit, I’ve always wanted to a girl with a big chest to do this to me. Done side if be a hormonal teenager with seven sisters as big as you.

May: Mmmm~! Day ar?

Jaune: Mmmm~! Much bigger… I’ll show you a place later where you can get some proper restraining bras. Those binding’s will hurt your chest in the long wrong.

May: (Pop~!) Really?! Oh, thanks, Jaune! That means a lot!

Jaune: My pleasure.

May: But, in the meantime, your ‘little’ friend here owes me a make over~!

Jaune: Then get back to work, There’s a lot more I want to do with you than just give you a makeover~!

May: I’m looking forward to it the…?!

Penny: Amazing! Are most male reproduction organs so big?!

Jaune: Penny?! W-What are you doing here?

Penny: Friend Ruby recounted the tale of your sexual escapades, I was interested the validity of her words , so I described to authentic her tale for myself.

Jaune: So…? Would you care to join us then?

Penny: Sensational!

~~~

Nora: Ruby blabbed?

Jaune: Yep…

Nora: Shall I take care of her.

Jaune: You may.

Nora: So how was, Penny?

Jaune: She just watched us, she wanted to know what to expect before she did anything.

Nora: So you’re gonna pop her cherry then~?

Jaune: Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.

Nora: With that bitchbreaker? Yeah right!

~~~

Penny: S-S-Sen… Sensa-sa-sation-a-aalllll~!

Jaune: Penny?! P-Penny are you okay…?

Ciel: I think you short circuited her… And, it only took you: Twelve minutes, and thirty seven seconds.

Jaune: Uhh… Is she okay? I saw literal sparks fly off of her.

Ciel: She is in the midst of a reboot. She will be fine in ten to fifteen minutes.

Jaune: Are you sure?

Ciel: I am. Now, you have not ejaculated yet despite, Penny’s best efforts. So I shall offer you a fellatio to bring you to ejaculation. This should take no more than five minutes.

Jaune: Wait, what?!

~~~

Jaune: It did in fact take no longer than five minutes…

Nora: You sound disappointed by that.

Jaune: I couldn’t really enjoy it. Sure she went after me like a vacuum, but I couldn’t enjoy it. Besides, it feels weird to time how long you can bring someone to come.

Nora: That makes sense. It’s not a contest to see who can eat the most pancakes the fastest.

Jaune: According to, Penny, Ciel is very punctual. Basically everything she does is done to a schedule, and I mean everything, down to the last second is marked on one of her schedules.

Nora: Yikes, major control freak right there. Hmm… You two having another scheduled interaction together?

Jaune: Yeah, why?

Nora: It would be a shame if things didn’t go to schedule, if you catch my drift~!

Jaune: Oh really~?

~~~

Ciel: OH FUCK~?!!

Jaune: What was that~? Barely even a few minutes? Doesn’t it take you five minutes to have a orgasm?

Ciel: Y-Y-You…?! Oh fuck?! You disrupting mu p-p-pla-Ahhhh~!

Jaune: And, you’re absolutely loving it~!

Ciel: N-No! I’m not! I-I… Ohhh~! I hate…?! Oh gods~!

Jaune: You love it~!

Ciel: Oh~!

Jaune: Admit it, Ciel. You love it when I disrupt your precious little timetable~!

Ciel: I don’t! I-I-Ahhh~! i ha… Ha… I LOVE IT~! I fucking love it! I love not know when I’ll cum, when you’ll come! Oh gods~! This feels amazing~!

Jaune: Good girl~! You deserve a reward… I know, how about another one of these!

Ciel: Oh gods~?! It’s so warm! S-S-So warm~!

Jaune: Good girl~! Let’s spend… two minutes for you to catch your breath before we… Rin?!

Rin: H-Hey, Jaune… You looking… big…

Jaune: Oh uhh… Thanks. So… Ciel seems a bit out of it… Would you care to join us? Give, Ciel a chance to get her legs back?

Rin: J-Join you…?

Rin: …

Rin: Later.

Jaune: Later?

Rin: Yeah, later… I meed to prepare myself… mentally… and physically…

Jaune: Oh, okay. Let me know when you’re ready to do it.

Rin: Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait too long. Till then, Jaune~!

Jaune: Till then…?

~~~

Jaune: I’m… worried…

Nora: About, Rin?

Jaune: Yeah… the way she stared at me… there was something in her eyes that seemed… wanting, lusting, and… and, unhinged…

Nora: Hmmm… Yeah, I asked her about the two of you going at it. The way she rubbed her thighs, and bit her lip… There was something… there was something in her eyes that unnerves me…

Jaune: We won’t know until we do it… But, until then keep an eye on, Rin. Something’s fishy, and I want to know what’s going on.

Nora: Will do, Fearless Leader!

Jaune: Let’s hope nothing bad happens…

~~~

Rin: That’s it you magnificent stud!

Jaune: Whoa, Rin?! What’s gotten into you?!

Rin: Come on! Come on! Comeonecomeonconeobcomeone!

Jaune: Ahh, Rin?! What the hells gotten into you?!

Rin: Come inside! Come inside, and knock me up!

Jaune: Wait, what?!

Rin: Get me pregnant! Give me your babies! Make me a mommmMMMMMY~!!!

Jaune: Ahh fuck… Are you try to…?! What the fuck, Rin?!

Rin: Ahh~! I’m gonna be a mother~! Ahhhhhhh…

Jaune: Rin? Oi, Rin, what the hell was that?!

Glynda: A violation of several school codes, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Ahhh?! M-M-Ms. Goodwitch… H-Hi…?

Glynda: I see you are having… fun…

Jaune: Yeah… fun…

Glynda: Fun…

Jaune: Uhhh…

Glynda: Clean up your teammate, Mr. Arc, then clean the spot where you… Where you had your fun…

Jaune: I’ll get right on that, Ms. Goodwitch!

Glynda: Good… I will see you tomorrow at detention, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Detention? That seems… appropriate…

~~~

Jaune: So… Rin wants me to impregnate her…

Nora: Yeah… that’s… yeah…

Jaune: Yeah…

Nora: I made her take some, ‘morning after’ pills.

Jaune: Oh? Oh that’s good! That’s good…

Nora: Something wrong?

Jaune: I’m just confused on all of… that!

Nora: Are you against having a kid… a kid with, Rin…?

Jaune: …

Jaune: I’m not against it… It’s just… I never expected that, Rin wants such a thing… from me no less… But… I don’t know… We’ll need to talk with, Rin about this later… I just… I need more time to process all of this…

Nora: Okay… I’ll let, Pyrrha know what happened so we can all talk about this.

Jaune: Good idea. It’s best if she also keeps an eye on, Rin as well. Haa… Okay, I have to get going… detention, Ms. Goodwitch…

Nora: Good luck, Jaune.

Jaune: I’ll need it…

~~~

Glynda: So… Let me get this straight… In an attempt to whoo me, you had sexual intercourse in my classroom, hoping that I would catch you in the midst of the act where you would ask me: “Would you care to join us?” Is that correct, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Y-Yes…

Glynda: Good. Let’s continue; You started this little plot with, Ms. Belladonna, where instead of me catching you in the act, you were caught by, Ms. Rose, then you tried it again with, Ms. Rose. Then you tried it again with, Ms. Schnee. And, again with, Ms. Xiao Long. And then with, Ms. Sustari. And, then with, Ms. Fall. And, then with her teammate, Ms. Politan. And, then with your teammate, Ms. Valkyrie. And, then with, Ms. Scarlatina. And, then with her partner, Ms. Adel. And, then with, Ms. Chloris. And, then it was, Ms. Arslan, which involved, Ms. Nikos in a competition of some sorts. Then, Ms. Katt asked you to join your… harem. And, then Miss Zedong ask to join you. And, then it was, Ms. Polendina, who was with, Ms. Soleil, and lastly it was your teammate, Lie Rin before I, Glynda Goodwitch finally caught you in the act…

Jaune: Y-Y-Yeah… That’s p-pretty much it…

Glynda: And, tell me, Mr. Arc… Why… Why didn’t you just ask me out on a date, instead of this convoluted plan where you started a harem after sleeping with seventeen different woman? If you just asked me out back then, I would be enjoying your massive cock between my breasts long ago!

Jaune: I-I’m sorry! I thought you would say no!

Glynda: Mr… No… Jaune… You promised to marry me when you were six… I waited twelve years for you to make your move, and instead of making your move on me, you slept with secenteen other woman! What the hell, Jaune!

Jaune: Uhh… E-Eighteen woman actually…

Glynda: Eighteen?! You’ve slept with eighteen woman before me?! That it! You may have slept with sixteen woman before me, but I’ll be the first to have your child!

Jaune: Y-Yeah… about that…

Glynda: What!! You’re already a father?! Who the hell did you…?! Adrian… You’re, Adrian’s father, aren’t you?!

Jaune: Surprise…?

Glynda: You slept with your sister’s wife to conceive a child?!

Jaune: It was consensual! They wanted an, Arc, so I gave them an, Arc baby!

Glynda: And, Saphron just sat there, and watched as you knocked up her wife, Terra?!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Nineteen…

Glynda: Motherfucker?!

Jaune: Technically true…

Glynda: That’s it! I don’t care about your harem, or the fact I’m number twenty! But, I’ll be damned if someone else has your child before me! I’m number two! Rin can become number three after me! So get ready, Jaune, you’re going to become a father again~!

Jaune: H-Help…?

Ozlyn: Ara-Ara~! Do you really think that I will allow that to happen, Glynda?

Jaune: Headmistress Ozlyn?!

Glynda: Ozlyn?! What are you doing here?

Ozlyn: Me? Why I was planning to get the number two spot, but I don’t mind being number three~!

Glynda: The number two spot is mine bitch!

Ozlyn: We’ll see honey~! But, before we begin, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Yes…?

Ozlyn: Please say, ‘The Lline.’

Jaune: The line…?

Ozlyn: Yes, ‘The Line~!’

Jaune: Uhhh… H-Hello, Headmistress Ozlyn… would you care to join us…?

Ozlyn: Fufufu~! With extreme pleasure~!

~~~

Nora: Glynda Goodwitch, and Headmistress Ozlyn?!

Jaune: Yeah… both of them…

Nora: Whoa… How was it?

Jaune: Starved, to say the least…

Nora: Oh gods… So… Now what…? You started a harem with twentyone different woman, and all of us are ready, and waiting for a second run! So, what are you going to do, Fearless Leader?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Pancakes…

Nora: Pancakes?

Jaune: Yeah, pancakes. I’m hungry.

Nora: Whoo! Pancakes! Can we have sex afterwards?

Jaune: Sure.

Nora: Fuck yeah!

Jaune: No syrup in the bedroom though.

Nora: Dammit!

///

Haaa… Days of work… And it’s finally over!

Doing the bloody colour coding took forever…

Do enjoy~!

[hummingbird-games]

2023 In Review (Indie Games)

Last year's! | 2021

I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!

DEMOS

Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)

Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.

The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.

Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!

Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.

Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)

Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.

OTOME/JOSEI JAM

Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...

Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)

Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!

Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁

Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!

Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.

Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.

Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!

The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!

A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???

The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!

Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧

Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)

Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.

Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.

Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.

A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭

The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????

Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!

Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:  

I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.

A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.

Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*

Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!

Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.

Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!

Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.

...

Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.

Let me know if we share any favorites!

- Gemini 💛

[gabessquishytum]

OK, sorry for blowing up your Asks, but I canNOT smother the ideas that these posts spark! And, ok, so I love & respect gushy pussy Dream as much as the next besotted Dreamling fan, but like what if it were the opposite? Like Dream’s body is just…kind of hesitant? He’s been called frigid and dry before, and other unkind names, too, and sex has often been painful. But it’s just that he take a little bit to warm up! Or he would, theoretically, if anybody was patient enough to find out.

And guess who has the patience of a— well, nothing about Hob is like a saint, but perhaps he has the patience of a saint whose patience he stole on the road in his days as a highwayman — and oh boy is he up for the challenge!

Because Hob is just so into getting Dream warmed up. Like, he will spend all day getting him hot and bothered, teasing him and whispering in his ear about the filthy things Hob wants to do to him. And their life is now like full-day foreplay that builds into mind-blowing sex.

Dream will be at the counter making toast, and Hob brushes up against his back, one strong hand sliding in between Dream’s thighs from behind.

“Morning, love,” is all he whispers before he’s away, just whistling as he reaches up for the plates in the cupboard on the other side of the kitchen as if everything’s normal.

And as they eat together, Hob just lets his hand rest on Dream’s leg right above the knee, just sitting there, eating his toast one handed, smiling normally at Dream. And Dream is trying to breathe normally and not choke on his toast while the smoldering coals spark slightly to life inside him.

And when Hob kisses him goodbye, there’s a quick squeeze on Dream’s ass and one strong finger massaging into his cleft for a second — and then Hob’s off to work.

Halfway through the day, Dream gets a text of the impressive tent in Hob’s jeans, half-unzipped, calloused fingers just poking into the waistband. “Thinking of you,” it says. And Dream has to squeeze his thighs together because he can feel the juices beginning to flow — Hob knows what these vague tantalizing photos do to him!

He also knows that Hob will often jerk off in the day to take the edge off and so he can last longer later — which Dream loves because 1) he loves Hob’s pleasure no matter how he gets it and 2) he knows Hob is doing this for him and Hob’s devotion to turning Dream on is just like the biggest fucking aphrodisiac. And just the thought of Hob stroking himself & thinking about Dream just absolutely fans the smoldering coals like nothing else.

And so does the fact that Dream trusts Hob. Despite the day-long lead up, there’s never any pressure. Hob is creative and he is 100% ok with coming off on Dream’s thigh or against his ass while they use toys and hands and tongues to pleasure each other. If Dream isn’t ready for penetration now or ever he can work with that!

This knowledge alone is almost always enough to get Dream slick. No one else has had that kind of care for him. And, the thing is, after a while of this, it’s basically like Hob is (consensually) conditioning Dream to be aroused by every little thing he does.

Almost every day, by the time Hob gets home, Dream has to work to keep his mind clear enough to make dinner. This is made more difficult by the way Hob will appear at his shoulder, his breath warm against Dream’s ear or his lips soft against Dream’s pulse. And by the time they sit down to eat, Dream’s practically whining with need and Hob is hard again.

And Hob is so fucking patient and careful, which just drives Dream even wilder, and sometimes he will break down and beg Hob to bend him over the table and have him right there.

And, well, Hob will do anything for Dream.

Gosh, patient and careful Hob is certainly a turn on! And it seems like another anon had a quite similar train of thought!

It's never too much trouble for Hob to take his time. He wants desperately to spend the day with his lover, touching him, kissing him, talking to him. The sheer romance of flirting and playing with his partner appeals to Hob intensely. He's just so happy when they're together, or when he looks at Dream and just knows that they're thinking about each other. Hob would orbit Dream like a planet around the sun if he had to, but being able to touch, caress, tease, feel... its the greatest privilege of his life.

Dream can't quite believe that it's actually working. That Hob’s time and effort are paying off and helping his body to respond as he wants it to. There's almost an extra thrill in having to work for his arousal, too. The orgasm is all the more intense because hours have passed since Hob began playing with him. Maybe he doesn't get wet just from the act of sitting on Hob’s lap anymore, but he enjoys sitting on Hob’s lap for hours anyway, having his thighs massaged, his stomach gently caressed, his nipples flicked. Maybe it's more difficult to just sink down on Hob’s cock and get the job done, but maybe it's also nice to cuddle up and have his clit played with.

Hob just wants Dream to be happy, and Dream wants the same in return. That's what matters.

[stevethehairington]

okay so. overall review:

actually not as bad as i expected it to be! and not as bad as i thought it was going to turn out while i was in the trenches there lol. i still wished it focused a little more on eddie's home life/relationship with his dad and uncle AND his friends, and had way less of the romance stuff (read: none), BUT i will admit that there ended up being a lot less of the romance stuff than i initially expected and a lot less than it seemed like there would be while still in the middle of the book.

the paige stuff still made me uncomfy bc i didn't like the power dynamics there (paige had something eddie wanted desperately, and i don't like the idea that that could have had something to do with his "feelings" for her/why he engaged with them ((esp bc let's be real — he didn't seem super torn up over not getting to be with her in the end)) or that she used that to her advantage bc there was ALSO something in it for her) BUT i will say they did make it slightly less skeezy than i expected bc she was only a couple years older than him instead of like. significantly older like i expected.

i do wish there was more about eddie's friends and their fallout and reconciliation. his friends were super important to him and he just. dropped them. like that. and there was BARELY any blowback. like yeah there was a fight with ronnie, but we never actually got to see the reactions of any of the other hellfire/corroded coffin guys, and i would've liked to see that. same with the reconciliation, it felt very minimal — i would've liked to see more of how that played out too.

I LOVED EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN SECOND OF WAYNE MUNSON CONTENT, THAT MAN IS A GIFT HE IS AN ANGEL I ADORE HIM WITH EVERYTHING IN ME. IF THERE IS ONE THING THIS BOOK HAS DONE IT HAS SOLIDIFIED MY STANCE THAT WAYNE MUNSON IS THE BEST GOD DAMN CHARACTER AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM.

as for eddie — i think the author did an alright job finding his voice. there were times where i thought she really nailed it, but there were also A LOT of times where i thought "he would never say that!!" "he would never do that!!". it wasn't very consistent, but overall it wasn't awful and there were some good parts!

the other characters we know and love that made cameos — VERY fun to see them (gareth, chrissy, jason, hopper, will, jonathan!!!) gareth was ESPECIALLY fun to see because they really embraced that feral chihuahua boy energy we love to assign to him. BUT. i am SO incredibly upset with how badly they massacred my boy tommy h (whOSE LAST NAME THEY COULDNT EVEN GET RIGHT I MEAN W H A T!?) they fucking. got his characterization SO BAD. it was awful. i am. personally offended by it (joking, mostly rhsjsi). (as a tommy lover i am. devastated tho. HE WOULD NOT DO THAT!!!)

OH ALSO — reefer rick. WHAT a fun dude. hes out here in his robe and bunny slippers drinking darjeeling tea, living it up. what a guy.

id like to give a huge FUCK YOU to principal higgins too! they made that dude a straight up MONSTER. he was unnecessarily CRUEL and some of the things he said straight up to eddies face,,,,,,, sir what the FUCK. i know the 80s was a different time but jesus fucking cHRIST was casual cruelty and bullying from grown ass ADULTS commonplace? i sure hope not.

ALSO FUCK AL MUNSON LIVES ALL MY HOMIES HATE AL MUNSON LIVES. that man was AWFUL, TRULY HONESTLY GENUINELY THE WORST. neglectful and cruel and downright AWFUL. NOT ONLY DID HE CONSISTENTLY ABANDON EDDIE THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE BUT THEN HE DREW EDDIE INTO HIS SCHEMES, CONNED HIM, FUCKED UP REAL BIG, AND THEN LEFT EDDIE IN THE ASHES OF THEIR — OF HIS — HOME AS THE ONLY PERSON LEFT WITH THE COP WHO GOT SHOT AND IS LIKE SLOWLY BLEEDING OUT. TALK ABOUT FUCKING TRAUMA WHAT THE FUCK. i hope he got flayed ALIVE by charlie greene lmao it would serve him right that absolute twat waffle.

also, im gonna be real. the end of that book was actually INSANELY depressing. like, it tried to be positive because you gotta end on a positive note right? but it just fell. COMPLETELY flat. bc we all know what happens to eddie in canon. he's sitting there reenrolling in school, peacoking around about how he's GOING to finish high school and he's GOING to graduate and he's GOING to show principal higgins that he CAN do it and that he ISNT the fuckup deliquent he's convinced he is. BUT WE ALL KNOW HE DOESNT FUCKING GET THAT IN CANON. he's taking waynes advice and fully embracing who he is and he's learning to be comfortable in his own skin and to rise above all the noise of people who don't like him and think he's a freak. ONLY WE KNOW HE NEVER TRULY GETS TO DO THAT EITHER BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW IT ENDS IN CANON. so yeah it just ends up being a REALLY fucking BLEAK ending because all of that "positivity" is absolutely tainted. it's fucking soured. and i am once again INSANELY INFURIATED about eddies death. so fuck the duffers, again.

also, eddie munson literally never caught a fucking break. not one fucking break. his ENTIRE life was just one series of tragedies after the other and it truly just continued on that way until he fucking died. honestly, its a goddamn MIRACLE that he has ANY ounce of positivity and optimism and hope left in his life when we get to him in s4. thatd how utter dogshit a hand he has been dealt in life. and it only.got worse from there. and i will NEVER forgive ANYONE involved in his creation for that.

so yeah! that concludes my journey reading flight of icarus. it was a wild ride lol.

[lavender-romancer]

He's So Pretty 

Jim Kirk x Reader  CW: distress, angst, romance 

Kirk had no idea you felt the same way for him as he did for you, as you plan to leave Starfleet. Is it all too little too late for the two of you? 

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

He felt dead inside, Kirk wouldn't show it but he couldn't stand the fact you were leaving and it hurt even more that he'd never gained the courage to be honest with you. His plan was to have a meeting with you as a farewell in his Captain's quarters before you left the enterprise when they docked in Yorktown to refuel in a few weeks. But he didn't know if he could wait that long, he'd been holding this in for so long it felt like it was begging to be let out. You were too good for him and he knew that his feelings were real because he hardly ever bit his tongue but he was terrified you wouldn't feel the same as him. The only person to ever get his tongue tied, the only person who he would always be looking for in a crowd, it was unexplainable how much he cared about you. But now... now you were leaving and fuck, he wished you knew everything going on in his head. 

"You're gonna kill yourself with guilt if you don't say something," Bones said in a matter of a fact way.

"I am aware, Bones." Jim grinned because he knew how dumb and high school it all was.

"Just tell the damn girl!" Bones exclaimed.

"Oooo. What girl is this!" Both the men jumped at the sound of your voice walking into the bar, they both went silent "Awh come on, is this a boys club conversation?" You put your hands on your hips and Kirk laughed. 

"Something like that, dumbass," Kirk looked up at you and you rolled your eyes before punching his arm.

"You love me really, no matter how many times you insult me. You're gonna miss me!" You reached over the bar and grabbed some vodka making yourself a quick mixed drink. 

"More than you know," Bones muttered so only Jim heard and gave him a look. 

"Right, drink up Cap!" You cheers' with Jim and then both downed what was in your glasses. 

"No cheers for the doctor I see," Bones rolled his eyes and you shook your head 

"Absolutely not letting you run free! I'm just pouring another drink my dear doctor." You poured a vodka shot and looked at Bones who was regretting speaking up. 

"Cheers to that I s'pose!" You and Bones clinked glasses before knocking your heads back. Kirk just looked at you in awe, his eyes looking up in adoration. Bones noticed it first and smiled to himself. 

"What's with the puppy eyes, Kirk?" You teased and Jim very slightly blushed. He thought he hid it well but you couldn't help but think about how pretty he looked. 

The following week, Kirk was mentally planning when to have that meeting with you, he had two weeks left till they docked. That wasn't that much pressure but he'd been holding in these feelings for nearly 6 years and didn't really know what to do if you didn't see him the same way. Kirk had absolutely no idea how you thought of him, he knew you were friends and maybe a bit flirty from time to time but nothing that couldn't be explained by being close friends. I mean Jim flirted with everyone, he was an Aries through and through so it didn't surprise him that regardless of gender he was going to be a bit playful. But with you, he had actual physical reactions and it was like being a teenager with a pathetic crush. You gave him butterflies, you made him nervous blush and hide his face and pretend he hadn't noticed your hand on his arm. 

Kirk couldn't help but believe you knew what you were doing but it seemed so unlikely because you were so confident, you were afraid to tell someone how you felt. Why would you keep your feelings towards him hidden if they were there? 

"Y/n, you've been asked to the Captain's quarters," Nyota told you with a friendly smile. 

"Oh lordy, what kind of going away malarkey has been prepared, I wonder." You grinned at your friend and she raised her eyebrow.

"Oi you, get that mind out of the gutter," you rolled your eyes. "I'm sure it's sweet , he's always been very thoughtful when someone leaves the ship." 

"Oh I'm sure it's very personal…" she winked and you covered your mouth so you didn't laugh. 

"What merriment have you two clowns got into then?" Bones asked as he walked past with some new equipment he'd been testing. 

"You have to be nice to me, Bones. Leaving orders say so," you narrowed your eyes at him, he stopped 

"Oh is that so, Sunshine?" He raised an eyebrow "And on whose authority is that?" 

"The Captains of course, I've been summoned to his quarters for what I can only hope is an attempt to celebrate my leaving without sounding too excited," you laughed and Bones said nothing. 

"Cat got your tongue?" Nyota asked Bones, folding her arms with a smile. 

"Oh not at all, I'm just holding it so I don't gossip like some old woman." Bones raised an eyebrow and you looked at him, puzzled. 

"Well what does that mean then?" You paused and he said nothing "Bones? What are you talking about?" 

"I mean if I can get in on some gossip where Bones is involved then I'm all ears." Nyota let one side of her mouth turn up. 

"You two are out for trouble, look it's not my secret to tell so you'll just have to find out eventually yourselves." Bones gave Nyota a knowing look and you looked between the two of them till Bones looked away. 

"Well what the hell was that?" You exclaimed looking at Nyota. 

"Well now I know you have to go and see Kirk right this second," Nyota leant against the corridor wall and had to put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing. 

"You," you pointed at Nyota, "you are a troublemaker." You laughed and headed off in the direction of Kirk's quarters. 

You had no idea what Bones was on about but deep down you hoped. You'd been pining after Jim for so long it felt like an age, you had known each other for so long that you really didn't think there was any way Jim could've gone this long without revealing his feelings. You got drunk together so often and had never even kissed, he'd never revealed any secrets about his feelings whilst inebriated. Being realistic if Kirk hadn't revealed his feelings whilst being drunk it was unlikely he had those thoughts in his head, he was so easy to get secrets out of when drunk. But you couldn't help thinking about the weird interaction between the three of you a minute ago, what did they know that you didn't? 

You knocked three times of Jims door and held the sides of your skirt with your thumbs pressing against your fingers through the fabric. It was so damn frustrating how nervous you were when you could just be walking into a normal and civil meeting. Getting your hopes up was a dangerous activity especially when it came to heartbreakers like Jim Kirk. 

"Y/n!" Jim exclaimed, opening the door with a big smile, he stood back and let you step in. 

 "To what do I owe the pleasure." You looked around the room you'd been in often and considered that you might never see it again. 

"Come sit," he gestured to the sofa with a bottle of wine on the table and two glasses. "Your departure has made me think about a lot of things." As you sat down Jim began pouring. 

"What kind of things Kirk?" You narrowed your eyes. 

"It's hard to determine, I mean definitely thinking of the past" Kirk carried on for a while, talking in what you would call filler but you weren't listening. He looked so fucking pretty, his eyebrows moving every now and then, his hair a bit ruffled after he had got changed. Jim was so so pretty and you didn't know how to focus on anything else, watching his lips move you just wanted to shut him up and kiss him. 

"Y/n?" You snapped out of it "Do you know what I mean?" Kirk asked and you had to think for a moment about what would be a neutral reply so a question you hadn't heard any of. 

"....yes?" You said in a curious tone and Jim laughed. 

"You weren't listening were you," he smiled and you giggled. 

"Not my fault you look so pretty," you mumbled into your glass as you took a drink, you thought it was quiet enough but Jim had heard and he almost choked on the wine in his own mouth. 

"Was that a compliment I just heard?" Jim tried to play it cool but his voice cracked on the last word and you burst out laughing. 

"Okay well now you deserve no explanation if you can't even get through puberty properly." You smiled at him and he raised an eyebrow.

"Well I'm not the one who thinks I'm pretty, am I. Hmm?" Jim teased. 

"Well, I'M not the one who can't speak without sounding like a pre-teen." You shot back, jokingly narrowing your eyes at him. 

"You're a little shit, you know that?" Jim asked, placing his glass down. 

"Well you won't have to put up with it for too much longer will you," you joked and a silence fell between the both of you, joking like this had made Kirk forget about that fact "Are you okay, Kirk?" 

You looked deep into his eyes and it took all his willpower not to take your face in his hands and kiss you. Instead he stood up and walked around the room, hands on his hips he sighed. 

"Well now I know you're not alright," you paused and stood up, there was a distance between you both and you were slowly closing it down "What's wrong?" You asked at almost a whisper.

Kirk turned around and you were only a few steps away from him, his eyes were unreadable but looked deep into yours. He closed off the gap between the two of you and took you into a deep hug, you were caught off guard but didn't stop him. Instead you wrapped your arms around him just as tightly and leant your head on his shoulder. Closing your eyes the moment felt like forever and you didn't want to let go because it would mean you leaving him was something real. Kirk's hand went up to the back of your neck and slowly stroked your hair. The affectionate action could have made you cry if you weren't so determined to not reveal to him how you felt. 

"There's something I need to tell you, Y/n." Kirk said near your ear and you drew apart, still holding onto his arms

"What is it?" You looked into his eyes and tried to read them, glancing down at his lips you bit the inside of his cheek. 

"I've loved you ever since I've known you, Y/n. I can't help it and- and I've tried to show it but fuck, you won't let me. I can't think straight when you're around me and I've been pining after you for so long it doesn't even feel real that you're leaving now," Kirk's eyes held so much emotion you feared you might fall into them. How…how was this real? 

The silence had been considerable now and you didn't know what to do, your mouth slightly open and staring into his eyes. You couldn't find the words so you just hugged him again, closer than before. Jim held the back of your head, scared you'd slip away forever. You mumbled something against his shoulder and he perked up. 

"What was that?" He whispered and you turned your head to lay your cheek on his shoulder. 

"I can't believe this has happened, I- fuck. I wasn't expecting it," You whispered and it made Kirk so anxious that he just held you until you'd eventually slip away. 

"You can leave whenever you want," Kirk told you and you really did feel like you could but you didn't want to. Kirk may have been holding you but only because you allowed it to be so. 

"What if I don't want to?" You asked, slightly pulling away from his shoulder and looking into his eyes with a smile. 

"What?" Jim whispered, not believing what you were saying.

"What if I don't think what you're saying is crazy," you let your hands run down his arms till you were holding his hands "I don't know what you know about how I feel o-or how I…" you trailed off trying to find your words "But my feelings aren't so far from yours."

"You're making me fucking hope for something now," Kirk grinned. 

"Oh shut up, talk like the normal Jim, please. I'm not used to you being all soppy." You teased, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek. 

"You mean say something like how fucking highschool this all is?" Jim gripped your hands before looking down at your lips and back to your eyes. 

"I mean I'm not surprised you come neatly packaged up with some drama." You raised an eyebrow and he just rolled his eyes. 

"Oh do shut up," he let go of your hands and put them on either side of your face before leaning forward and kissing you. 

You rested your hands on his forearms, leaning into the kiss as a warmth spread into your stomach. It was almost unbelievable that this morning neither of you knew how the other really felt and honestly you found it extremely endearing how honest Jim was. 

"All the planets, places and people to see but all I wanted was you," Jim whispered when you drew apart and leant your foreheads together. You smiled and looked at him, he looked so lovely, all happy and pink cheeked. 

"You're so pretty," you paused and he laughed "No I mean it, just so pretty." You trailed off and looked into his eyes, you could only imagine what they would look like in between your thighs…

"Someone's getting distracted by a thought, you've got that glazed over look." Jim narrowed his eyes. 

"Ohhhh, nothing…" you turned around and pulled his hand with you "Just how much prettier you'd look going down on me. You know, nothing that exciting." You sat down on the sofa and held your wine in your hand as you crossed your legs. Bringing the glass to your mouth you raised an eyebrow and Kirk ran his tongue along his top set of teeth, thinking. 

"I mean I can't say what it would look like from your point of view, but seeing you like that would be angelic," he walked towards you and knelt down Infront of you.

"Guess you'll just have to prove it won't you," You were teasing him now but Jim didn't seem to mind. 

Jim was running his hands up your thighs until he met the hem of your dress, moving his hands inwards till they met the crossover of your legs. 

"We could test your theory, you know, for research." He gave you a shit eating grin and you uncrossed your legs, leaning down to be face to face with him. 

"Come on then pretty boy, prove your worth to me." You whispered and he looked so damn excited he could burst, you always suspected Kirk had a submissive streak. 

[cod-dump]

HEY!!! So, I just want to you are an inspiration to writing everywhere and I love your stuff? And if it isn't too much I would like to know, can you rank all the best 141 Ships in one massive list? Personally SoapGhost at top, but I want to see what you think

Ranking the ships? Oh boy--

This is a good opportunity for me to show how I feel about some ships.

Keep in mind I ranked them by how I feel about them personally (also I put down as many as I could think of and if I missed one then I'll happily add on)

Has been edited, ships added

___

Soap/Ghost: Good ship, absolutely love it. Height diverse, canon banter that I can go over all day and not get bored, angst potential-- Have written so much for this ship and I'm not tired of it yet. Good ship, 10/10.

Alejandro/Rudy: Fucking LOVE this. They give off 'married for ten plus years and happily in love'. I want to write more for them because I fucking love them so much. 10/10, good ass ship.

Konig/Horangi: I admit I don't look into this ship as much but I do like what I see people write for them. I like them, good potential for fics, would like to write for at some point. 8/10.

Price/Nik: Yes, married for several years, knows each other better than themselves. I want/need to write more for them because I do like this ship. 10/10.

Price/Graves: Yes, fucking love it. So much potential of what you can do with it. I have written somethings for it and definitely plan on writing so much more. 10/10, fuck yes.

Price/Ghost: Not my favorite. 4/10

Price/Gaz: Not my favorite but I don’t have any problems with it. 5/10

Price/Soap: Not bad but I don’t have any ideas for it. 5/10.

Soap/Konig: Oh yes, I like this. 'Enemies to lovers'. I have so many ideas for this ship but I haven't written any fics on them yet. Definitely on my to do list. 10/10.

Ghost/Konig: Yes, big boy on big boy violence affection. 'Enemies to lovers'. Have a lot of ideas for them but I haven't written anything down yet. 8/10.

Farah/Alex: I like them, I think they're cute. I also think Alex is whipped and does whatever Farah wants to make her happy. Awesome malewife/girlboss relationship. 10/10.

Valeria/Graves: You know she tops. God, I can imagine them being the bitchiest couple on the face of the planet. They're so toxic yet it works for them. Would write for, have some ideas for them. 6/10.

Valeria/Alejandro: I mean, I love scornful ex-lovers just like anybody else. Maybe they were once pretty healthy in the past but they're definitely pretty toxic, too. Would write for if given a prompt (or if I get inspired all the sudden). 7/10.

Valeria/Rudy: GOD-- so many ideas involving past lovers, Valeria aiming to use Rudy to hurt Alejandro, just plan toxic ideas. Would write if requested or if I get randomly inspired. 8/10

Ghost/Rudy: Have written this before, I think it's cute. I haven't seen much for them, sadly. Might write this again (on my own or prompted). 8/10

Soap/Alejandro: Like the ship above, I think it's cute. I would write stuff for it. Bromance turned romance. 8/10

Price/Graves/Nik: FUCK YES. God, the brainrot is strong with this one. Love them so much, have so many ideas for them. Probably will never tire of them, OT3. 10/10.

Nik/Graves: God I have ideas for this one. Fuck yea new ideas to plague me in the middle of the night. 10/10.

Soap/Gaz: Yes, gimme. 'Friends to Lovers', good shit. Lots of fluff, silly shenanigans, all the good stuff. 10/10.

Gaz/Alex: Yes, love this. Cute as fuck. I can see a adorable slow burn romance, bromance to romance, didn't know they were dating-- I got ideas for it. Would love to write for it. 10/10.

Ghost/Gaz: Yes, I actually really like this one. Again, I see no content for it and it makes me sad. Love to write for it and put this ship out there. Some good, angsty slow burn. 10/10.

Farah/Gaz/Alex: I find adorable. I love this so much. Would write for happily. I haven't seen much content for them sadly (maybe it's because I don't look hard enough). Good ship, 10/10.

Alejandro/Valeria/Rudy: Got some pretty good ship ideas for this. Good ass angst with some fluff. The good stuff right here. Definitely could see this being a past relationship that ended badly, leaving two of them (or maybe all three) heartbroken. 8/10

Soap/Gaz/Ghost: Absol-fucking-lutely. Love this shit right here so much. I need to write more for it because it's a shame there's not more content for it. 10/10.

Price/Gaz/Soap/Ghost: I do like this oddly enough. I like them all together for some reason. 7/10

Ghost/Roach: Yes, I love this shit. Good angst potential, good past lovers potential. 'Lovers to friends to lovers' shit right here. 10/10

Soap/Roach: The chaos, the trouble they could get into-- Yes, absolutely. Good shit right there. Love to see it and would definitely write for it. 10/10.

Soap/Roach/Ghost: Yes, god yes. So many ways do make this happen. Angst, fluff, smut-- all that you possibly need in a ship. Fucking beautiful, love to see it, definitely would love to write it at some point. 10/10,

Soap/Gaz/Roach: Yes, yes, and yes. Good shit right here, cute and fluffy (though I could make it angsty if I tried). Silly shenanigans, chaos, all the good stuff. 10/10.

Soap/Gaz/Roach/Ghost: I haven't seen anything for this but I think it's cute and works. 8/10.

Soap/Graves: Good angst potential here, 'friends to lovers to enemies'. Would write for, been thinking of writing for it. 7/10.

Ghost/Graves: Much like the one above, very good. Angst is perfect, many ideas for this ship. Would love to write more for it. 7/10.

Soap/Ghost/Konig: Yes, I like this. Have several spicy ideas for it, a lot of drama. Haven't written anything for it yet but I would like to. 9/10.

Farah/Valeria: Toxic lesbian enemy to lovers? Mhmm yes. 7/10

Makarov/Yuri: Toxic ex lovers. Bad, manipulative situation that Yuri could fall back into because Makarov can read him like an open book. 6/10

Shepherd/Death: 10/10, OTP.

___

Used 10/10 rating because I couldn't even think of how I would rank them. If I missed any you would like to see tell me and I'll rate them.

(no particular order because I rated them as I thought of them)

[bengiyo]

Only Boo! Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Moo and Potae thought it would be a great idea to hide his relationship with Kang after signing the contract. They didn't tell Payos, who felt dejected about things ending with Potae. Eventually, a rival spotted Moo and Kang and outed him. Kang then ended things for real at the urging of Moo's mom and Shone. We did so little with the idol competition, and now Jang is doing BGP with Payos, and might have a real crush on him?

Are we gonna say anything about people shipping the boys together when we won't let them be gay?

Very much not a fan of Moo making Potae his primary friend at this point. It feels off.

Ep 11: We All Try

Oh, so Potae gets to get an explanation about not being told about feelings, but Payos doesn't?

So Kang full on relocated to keep him and Moo apart? Once again, GMMTV shows love to make the poorer boy move mountains.

Oh no, Moo's lips are a mess. #LipWatch2024

This song reminds me of the song Bright sung at the end of 2gether. It's one where I liked the song on its own, but don't know that the show earned it.

Wait, why is Kang jumping in a car with Shone??

Why is Shone suddenly back in the picture after breaking them up??

Girls, we really just had a flashback within a flashback. New Siwaj's influence only grows.

Why is Shone still flirting with Kang after urging him and Moo to break up. That's so fucked up.

I also feel like I've lost the thread on Payos and Potae. They've been essentially avoiding each other for a year without Potae saying anything that needs saying.

Is the show trying to say Kang was right to sever ties with Moo, since Moo still can't maintain distance in public?

Baby boy, that has been in your freezer for a year? It's time to throw it away. Do not eat that.

Didn't Payos and Potae kiss earlier? Why is he encouraging Jang and Payos to do BGP?

Now we're setting up a double misunderstanding? Is this what they wanted from the shift in friendships?

Goddamn, he kicked Moo right in the fucking face.

I'm a bit frustrated that we're focused on Moo being lonely because Kang left and not by the inherent isolation of being a public figure as well.

Mmm, that preview was mid.

Hey, so this show absolutely let me down, and it's a real bummer. I am not inherently opposed to shows in the bubble, but I really don't like them going this route with a idol romance, and it makes me deeply skeptical about the next idol romance GMMTV wants to do. I do not like that Moo hasn't been sharing his gay angst with Payos, the only other person suffering from gay yearning. This show also said that Kang was right to protect Moo by leaving, and now Shone is hitting on him. This is so unpleasant.

[the-cookie-of-doom]

The Birds and the Bees (Gets Kim On His Knees)

Summary: Sex pollen AU Kim is getting POLLINATED. Bee boy Chay thinks he’s the prettiest flower in the bunch and he’s getting all up in his vase. (sober note: Chay is not actually a bee boy)

It starts out perfectly innocently, okay? Chay had a plan, and that plan was to woo Kim, because after his delightfully sweet confusion upon receiving the guitar pick from Chay was any indication, he’s never been romanced before, and Chay is going to romance him so fucking hard. There’s going to be chocolate and dates and flowers. 

The flowers are the important part. Chay went into the florist with a polite request for something special, bc his honey only deserves the best, and he can’t remember the name of the flowers that were neatly wrapped into a big, fluffy bouquet, but it was pretty, and it sounded expensive, and Chay didn’t even bother checking the price tag before his handed over his credit card. Worrying about the price of things? That’s a Before Chay problem. Now Chay has mafia money, and he’s going to spend it on flowers to make his boyfriend blush, and no one is going to stop him. 

The flowers make Chay blush a little bit, too. He gets all shivery and warm under the collar as he carries them out of the shop, little white flecks dusting all over him. 

“Have fun,” the florist tells him on his way out the door, waving and laughing. “Don’t forget plenty of water.”

Duh. Chay knows how to keep flowers alive. Or, keep them from wilting, at least for a few days, bc technically they’re dead now that they’re cut. He’s giving Kim a dead gift. But that’s okay bc Kim gave him a bar fullof dead gifts, and these ones are prettier. They smell better, too, and they may be snowing bits of white fluff everywhere, but they aren’t going to leave so much of a mess. (Poor Yok had to close the bar for a month.) 

Back at the apartment that Chay does not share with Kim, even though hes there more often than he isn’t, because kim hasn’t offered, and chay hasn’t asked, and besires, hia would probably kill him, anyway. Say something rude about a love nest, which is absolutely not what it is. (It’s exactly what it is.) 

Without the use of his hands, given the *massive* bouquet, Chay has to settle for knocking his feet and elbows against the door until Kim gets the hint and opens it for him. 

“Chay?” he asks, peering around the flowers, and oh, right, he probably can’t actually *see* chay like this. He ducks his head around the side and grins, then thrusts the flowers into Kim’s arms. He’s getting tired, and he needs a glass of water. Carrying those things has been making him sweat. Who knows flowers could weight so mich? 

“Hi, honey,” CHay greets cheergully. “I’m home!” 

Kim’s fae goes from confused to preciously warm and soft and chay wants to kiss him, bc he’s *so* cute, he actually can’t take it. Who said his boyfriend could be so cute? Kim is supposed to be hot and sexy and intimidating. Cute is cay’s thing. But Kim, bc he isn’t fair, bc he’s blessed, is everything. He’s so good and sweet and he’s watching chay with eyes so fond and warm they could melt chocolate, and Chay has to kiss him about it. Right? Kim’s his boyfriend now—it’s their 1 month anniversary—which means he gets to do that now. 

The flowers are in the way, though. 

Chay takes them back. Says, “These are for you, by the way,” as he carts them over to the table, and Kim closes the door, and follows after him with an indulgent smile. 

“What’s the occasion?” he asks. 

“You, duh. I just.” Chay puts the flowers down. He arranges them carefully, fluffing out the thick white buds. ROcks back and forth on his teeth. Twists his hands in his sweater. He loves Kim so much and he has no idea how to hake his boyfriend understand. “I’m just—y9ou make me so happy. And I’m really lucky to be with you. So, yeah. Flowers. For you. Bc you deserve nice things.”

“Chay…” 

Kim comes up behind him, because Chay, flushed from the tip of his nose to the tip of his ears, does *not* look at him. He wraps his arms around CHay’s middle and nuzzles into the back of his hot neck, planting a soft kiss there. 

“I love you,” he murmurs into the sensitive space behind Chay’s ear, making him shudder. “Thank you, love, they’re really pretty.”

“You’re pretty.” Chay ducks his head down but he lets Kim spin him and kiss the top of his head. “I need some water.” He’s still burning up, and now he’s certain it’s the embarrassment more than the thirst, but if he doesn’t drink something cold now he’s going to melt into a puddle on the ground. So he darts away and Kim lets him go with a laugh. 

It gives him the opportunity to look at the flowers closer, leaning down to take a deep inhale. The fluff flaking off from the fleshy pink middles must egt vaught in his nose bc he starts sneezing, and chay giggles from the kitchen. 

“SOrry they’re getting pollen, like, everywhere.” Like dandelions, almost. Except these flowers are more than balls of white, tufty seeds. The petals are thick and full, white around the edges, then peachy pink in the middle, and at the very center of them, where the petals are folded together the thickest, they turn a lurid, dusky purple. And those white tufts of pollen drip out from that tight furl of petals. 

Kim straightens back up from his fit, and has pollen all in his hair and dotting his cheeks. Chay coos at him. He looks like he went frolicking in a daisy field. 

[commercial break for porn]

“Chay—Chay, those flowers—”

“I know,” Chay groans, dragging Kim into a fevered kiss. Fuck, what was wrong with those flowers? He should have—he should have realized something was off, as soon as he started getting warm, and they florist—telling him to remember plenty of water for them, him and Kim, not the flowers, of fucking course. God, how could he have been so blind. 

“Chay.”  And Kim—Kim is whining. That was definitely a whine. High and plaintive and pleading, and Chay has to take a deep breath before he comes on the spot. 

This is fine, everything is fine, he’s in control here. He’s barely affected. See? Look, P’Kim, he can walk in a straight line, straight to their bedroom, because he’s fine. Chay isn’t the one that decided to inhale a lungfull of sex pollen. 

Kim looks out of his fucking mind with it, though, little white flecks speckled through his hair, his pupils completely blown. Like a cat when it sees something in wants. Kim is looking at Chay like he’s never wanted anything more in his life, and it’s a heady feeling, to be on the receiving end of that gaze. For all Kim has become a whimpering limpet, he looks like he’s going to each Chay alive as Chay pushes him down onto the bed. 

“Are you okay?” Chay asks, on top of him, kissing his throat, because he’s a gentleman. Porsche raised him to be very considerate of his partners, and dammit, he’s going to make sure Kim is comfortable and taken care of!

“Yes, Chay, yes, I’m so okay, fuck, are you—” Kim tugs at Chay’s shirt, seemingly forgetting how buttons work in his desperation to get it off of CHay. he settles for digging his fingers into the spaces between the buttons and yanking, ripping it apart. 

Once again Chay is taking several deep breaths. 

Do not come. Do NOT come, he tells himself. 

Unfortunately his inhale led to a little tuft of pollen going right up his nose, and he snuffles a few times, trying to get rid of the tickling feeling. Now that he knows what he’s looking for he can feel it as the warmth spreads through him, spreading from his nose to his face and down his neck, and then it reaches his heard and flows through all of him, coalescing at his dick. 

Which Kim is determinedly trying to free from the confines of Chay’s slacks. 

Why did he decide to give up his usual uniform of tshirts and sweatpants, again? Dressing up for his boyfriend is overrated when he could be undressing for his boyfriend instead, and that’s a lot harder to do wrapped up in said boyfriend the way he is when he isn’t wearing something with a forgiving degree of stretch. He tries very hard to wiggle out of the stiff slacks while also palming Kim’s ass, which isn’t helpful at all, but it is nice. 

“Chay,” Kim complains, and there’s that whine again. God, it shouldn’t be as hot as it is. It really shouldn’t. Except for the fact that it means Kim is utterly and relentlessl desperate for him, which means it’s approximately the hottest thing he’s ever heard. 

“I’m trying,” Chay says, except he isn’t actually trying at all. He manages to pull his hands away from Kim long enough that he can open up his pants and kick them down his legs, while also trying to divest Kim of his own clothes, and somehow that ends up with both of them in a tangled the floor. Chay isn’t sure how that happened but there’s a dull ache in his shoulder and hip telling him that gravity was involved. 

Kim, straddling Chay’s thighs in an instant, doesn’t seem to mind the position change. In fact he takes full advantage, throwing himself on top of Chay and kissing him absolutely breathless. CHay isn’t complaining, that’s for damn sure. 

“I need you ti fuck me right now,” Kim demands. 

“Yes. Yes yes yes.”  Chay scrabbles on the floor, hoping for lube to magically appear when he needs it most. Unfortunately it does not. He makes a mental not to hide lube fucking everywhere later, just likekim has guns and knives hidden in all the nooks and crannies around his apartment, that way they can both be prepared for anything. Bc chay wants nothing more than to fuck kim on every available surface, please and thank you. 

Today that apparently includes the floor, and honestly? Chay isn’t hating it.

“Lube, P’Kim, we need lube.” No way he’s going to fuck him dry. Because again. Gentleman. COnsiderate lover. All of that. 

Except Kim makes a noise like—like—chay doesn’t know what it’s like. It’s high pitched and maybe kind of worried? And he’s reaching back between his legs, and his brows are drawn together as he scrunches his nose up in that cute way he does, and lips are parted so sweetly, and—

Before CHy can kiss him about it, Kim pulls his hand back, his fingers glistening with something that looks a hell of a lot like lube, except for the fact that they have no lube, as previously established. 

“I think maybe we don’t?” he says. His voice, normally rough and deep, goes somewhere high and unfamiliar. 

What the fuck, Chay thinks. 

“What the fuck,” he says out loud. Kim’s eyes are wide and wild and is laugh is a little bit hysterical. Chay should probably worry about that. Try to calm him down maybe. Except he’s also read about this? “Let me just—” he wiggles his hand beneath Kim, brushes his fingers against his hole, and—yep, he’s definitely slick with something. 

“What the fuck,” Kim echoes, still staring at his fingers. 

He suddenly remembers the florist telling him, Don’t forget plenty of water. He’s going to die, actually. They’ve been sex pollened. Pollinated? Yeah, that. And fuck, she knew, she had to know, that’swhy she smirked and laughed and told him to drink water, because she knew things were going to get wet and fucking messy. 

God, Chay can’t even be mad about it because—because it’s Kim, and he is wet, and Chay desperately wants to make a mess of both of them. 

Kim shouts when Chay throws him back onto the ground, pinning him on his back. He made sure to pull a blanket down first (Gentleman!!) so Kim wouldn’t be bare on the cold wood floor. Then he grabs Kim’s legs behind his knees and forces his thighs to his chest, he’s vaguely aware of Kim’s hands slapping the ground, but then he’s thoroughly distracted by burying his tongue in the nectar-sweet slick dripping from Kim’s hole. 

“Chay!” Kim cries, equal parts indignant and hopelessly turned on. HIs thighs clamp down around Chay’s head and do absolutely nothing to deter him. In fact, Chay elects to ignore him entirely, digging his fingers into Kim’s thighs and licking into him with fervor. 

Deliriously, he thinks, finally, all those smut fics are good for something. He’s never been more prepared for something in his life. 

“You taste so sweet, P’Kim,” Chay says when he finally comes up for air, what could be minutes or hours later. 

“You’re so fucking weird,” kim pants. His face is flushed, all the way down his chest, and his eyes are glassy. It’s the most beautiful CHay has ever seen him, and all Chay can think is, I did that. 

Well, the flowers—the fucking sex pollen—did that, but Chay helped! 

Chay shoves Kim’s legs open again, because they’re still crushing him a little bit, and crawls his way backup Kim’s body, where he greets him with a deep, wet kiss. Chay is covered in that sweet slick from nose to chin and Kim makes a face at it, mumbling, “Gross,” but does nothing to resist Chay’s kiss. Sucks on his glistening bottom lip, even, and his tongue, chasing the sweet taste of himself. It’s probably just because of the pollen clouding his judgment. Probably. 

“I could eat you out for days, P’Kim,” Chay says, just to be sure, “So sweet for me.”

“Fuck.” That’s all Kim says. No agreement or refusal, absolutely not aligning himself with either side of that spectrum, and refusing to meet Chay’s eyes for fear he’ll see an answer there. That’s okay. Chay knows they’re definitely going to do it again, if only so Kim can have the chance to… properly decide for himself whether he likes it, or not, without the pollen making his brain fuzzy. 

“Can I still fuck you, P’Kim?” Chay asks, sweet as anything. (Gentle. Man.)

“Finally, yes, please, if you’re done teasing me.”

“I’m not.” Not even close. Teasing Kim into a shuddering, pathetic mess is going to become one of the greatest achievements of Chay’s life, up there with Getting His Idol to Tutor Him, and Getting Into University. “I’ll make it good for you, though, promise.” 

Really, it’s more of a threat. Chay makes himself comfortable in their little nest on the floor—he blindly reaches up and pulls a few pillows off the bed, one for him to sit on and another to shove under Kim’s hips, popping him up and putting him on display even more than he already is—and gets to work. Circles his thumb around Kim’s glistening rim, lightly at first, waiting until Kim’s breaths stop hitching and he takes a deep inhale, and then Chay dips the digit into him. Up to the first knuckle, nice and slow, and then deeper, until it’s all the way inside and the rest of his fingers lay flat against his cheek. Chay pulses it in and out a few times, nice and shallow, before he pulls all the way out and replaces it with his foreigner. A minute later he slides in the middle one, as well, and Kim keens sweetly for him. 

[alpaca-clouds]

My Personal Companion Ranking

I saw so many people doing this, and now I kinda feel inclined, because we are going on a full year and the brainworms are still strong.

Halsin: I wrote about this before. I love this man just so much. Again: He does not need to help you. Sure, he comes along to the Shadowcursed lands in the hope to solve the problem that he feels responsible for, but afterwards... He is not responsible for the player character and the origins. Also, he is so big and sweet and gives the cutest kisses. <3

Lae'zel: Toad girl! Ironically I could not stand her originally. But then, on my second playthrough I accidentally romanced her, and I went like: "Oh my god, baby girl, you are so messed up! Let me hug you!" And yeah, now I am obsessed with her. I especially love her development in the game, when you oppose Vlaakith. Even though I like the idea most of all, of her dealing with her feelings towards Shadowheart (and possibly Karlach).

Astarion: Yes, I know, he is surprisingly not my absolute favorite, though I do identify with him a lot. And I just love him with my Tav. I will also say, that the version of Astarion I like so much is especially the one in my head, to whom I gave already so much character development and stuff after the end of the game.

Shadowheart: She is another one, who I originally did not like a whole lot. I was originally so annoyed with her and Lae'zel bickering and with the entire "Shar this! Shar that!" stuff. But while it took the second playthrough for me to warm up to Lae'zel, I got behind Shadowheart after saving Aylin and her becoming a Selûnite. I especially love how she centers herself during Act 3 again. And I love her stupid little jokes and pranks.

Jaheira: No long text. No deep reason. I just love her sarcastic ass.

Karlach: I love Karlach as a character. However, I still do not love what the game does with her. I love how she still finds joy in life after everything. She has such a tragic backstory and all that, but she still has joy, still wants to help people, and still is just good. But oh boy. I hate how much her companion quest is a non-quest. I hate how little interactions you really get with her in act 3, especially if she is not romanced. I just dislike how little care she got in the end of the game.

Wyll: Kinda like Karlach. It is not that I dislike him as a character, but he is just so clearly underwritten and gets shafted by the writers. So... Yeah. Admittedly, I also could not quite get into her whole "Heroism, please recognize my name" stick. But most of all it is just... how little content there is.

Gale: Okay, hear me out. Originally he was among my favorites for the game. But the longer I had him in my team (he does tons of damage in the end), the more annoyed I got with him. No, not because he is a know it all (I can identify with that), but mostly because he won't shut up about fucking Mystra. Yes, partly this is an issue with the dialogue options given to me, less than with Gale. But I just... I reached the point by the half of Act 2 where I was like: Let me shake this man and scream at him. "Mystra is a fucking groomer. Let's just please go and fucking kill her!"

Minsc: I do not dislike him. And my Tav definitely is vibing with him. However... He really feels more like a joke character, and I am not laughing.

My standard party usually still consist of my player character + Astarion + Karlach/Lae'zel (depending on my mood) + Gale. Though with my Durge I currently try a run on Durge + Shadowheart + Lae'zel + Astarion/Halsin.

[nottoofondofgaypeople]

make an unnecessarily long post about vylad :3

Ohhhh boy a Vylad rewrite post, huh?

Vylad is honestly the character I have struggled the most with when conceptualizing when coming up with ideas for this rewrite. In my brain the main timeline MCD Vylad is aro/ace, so I never think about him in the kinds of situations characters are going to end up in.

I think for the sake of this rewrite Vylad is definitely demi both romantic, sexual, and gender. What demi gender? Good question!

Vylad needs an emotional connection with someone in order to feel attraction to them, but forming an emotional bond with Vylad is pretty difficult. In the entirety of this rewrite I think three people end up getting this, and those people are Agnes, Laurance, and Zenix but in a bad way. And two of those people end up dating his brother, and the other one goes a little insane. So Vylad is just not doing great in the dating pool.

Luckily Vylad is a lot more open to talking to people in this rewrite. Once the 15 year gap has passed, they've spent so long without anyone to really talk to that Vylad is a lot more open to communication. Agnes especially gets on his case for this, forcing Vylad to interact with people more because she will not have her baby brother that's older than her and not even her brother be so stand offish.

All my musician head canons I talked about in this post and it's follow up on my main are all canon to this story. Vylad doesn't do conversations the best, but he is able to become total besties with Aaron and Travis around the fire and kind of third wheels as Aaron and Travis are having their homosexual tension, but they don't mind that much. Vylad has always loved just observing people as they exist and do their stupid human shit, watching two dumb dorks fall in love while looking longingly at one another's hands on an instrument is Vylad's soap opera.

If popcorn existed in Ru'aun, Vylad would be addicted to it. I don't know why but this is a headcanon I will fight to the death about now, MCD Vylad would absolutely adore popcorn.

Just thought about MCD Vylad in a dress. Not something too showy, a dress that fully covers their body and is like a dark green maybe, definitely a custom order from Cadenza but one that she is happy to fill. Wait do Vylad and Cadenza even talk in the entirety of mcd?? Well they do in this rewrite because Vylad is way too shy to ask someone else to do it for them. But Cadenza is completely chill about the whole ordeal, asks the standard amount of questions, and when she's getting measurements she checks in with Vylad constantly to make sure he isn't uncomfortable.

And when Cadenza finishes it she just drops it off at Vylad's house. Vylad has a dress now :)

I don't want to ask too much but please if there are any artists that have somehow read this far I need this 🙏🏻

I think Vylad and Cadenza would have a great friendship. She's just so fucking chill despite being wound up as a lord. Vylad may not get it in the sense of being a lord, but he grew up with Garroth as an older brother and literally helped guide Agnes on the path to being a lord, so he understands it's trials and tribulations very well. I want to write a scene of these two getting high and just talking about literally whatever, maybe they make fun of Laurance, or Vylad opens up about what it feels like to be a Shadow Knight because Cadenza has a Shadow Knight as a guard and one as a brother, she fuckin gets it.

I-Is this a new rarepair? I mean, if I take it down that route we do have to acknowledge that Vylad is lowkey rebounding from Laurance to Laurance's sister which... I mean, given Vylad's track record with romance, that completely tracks. Gods even when I let him feel romantic and sexual things they're so bad at it!

Uhh, anyways, I think Vylad's favorite color is a pale green. The color of his mothers eyes because Vylad is such a mama's boy oh my Irene I will never shut up about this! I always headcanon that his scarf was made by his mom, and that's part of why Vylad is so attached to it.

Just had the thought of Vylad and Agnes singing a duet together :)

Vylad is still really shy about their singing voice and panics at the thought of singing in front of others, but they feel calm enough around Agnes that he doesn't mind if it's just the two of them. Don't know what they'd sing. Maybe Wolves of the Revolution as a trio with Garroth. Oh that's eating my brain alive right now.

I think as a teenager Vylad was really unsupervised, so they spent a lot of time just figuring out how to sneak around their estate. He made new secret passages just because he wanted to fuck with Garroth and Zane. I think Vylad was a total prankster, but both of his brothers got sick of it pretty quickly, and their reactions weren't funny anymore.

Give Vylad more chaotic energy when the alliance island is built and operational. Nothing malicious, but sometimes Vylad will just climb in through your window, grab an apple off the counter, give you a wave and then dip out. I want Vylad to disappear for like two and a half months, come back with no explanation and then hand Agnes some ancient artifact that he "just found while exploring." Vylad is the king of not elaborating. He loves hearing people's guesses, but never confirms or denies how accurate they are.

Garroth's guesses are always the closest to being accurate, but he still doesn't entirely understand the person his brother has become. I think Vylad being older than Garroth would be really weird for both of them. Like in Garroth's brain Vylad is younger little small baby brother, but Vylad is a smart ass who always has to correct him and remind Garroth that they're technically older than he is. This is thanks to both Nether time dilation, and Irene Dimension time dilation! The divine really just like fucking with time.

I think I want an entire episode of just Vylad and Hyria talking over tea. I always imagined Hyria being akin to a mother to Vylad as both of them sort of leaned on one another and used each other to cope with the losses in their lives. And Vylad still makes visits every now and then to the enchanted forest to visit Hyria and have a chat with her. I think it'd be neat.

Even funnier if Lucinda shows up to ask Hyria about a witchcraft thing and she just stares at Vylad like "When did you become friends with my mom?" "Before I met you."

One time while Vylad and Travis were practicing a song alone Vylad set down his ocarina, looked Travis in the eye and said "I've explored the entirety of Gal'ruk. No one will ever believe you." The only person who does is Laurance, but he still makes fun of Travis.

Vylad is just a chaotic confusing freak!! I love him!!!

[lollytea]

One idea I kinda love is that while Hunter can get quite flustered and silent in person when Willow speaks to him, he can be an absolute menace on Penstagram or whenever they're not face-to-face.

Like in the moment it can be hard for him to think of responses because he's too busy soaking in her attention and his brain is just a mush of 'omg pretty girl pretty girlpretty girl' . but when it's over messages? And he has time to think about what to say and his responses?? He could be so effortlessly smooth and Willow would literally throw her scroll across the room and scream into her pillow because he just compared her to a beautiful flower he saw on his walk today

THIS IS SO FUNNY

After a day or two when Hunter gets accustomed to the keypad, he's now free to say whatever the fuck he wants and he somehow ends up going ham on this sweet girl he's been talking to. He doesn't really realize that what he's doing is considered flirting and sees it more like friendly banter/compliments but he gets SO excited over the little hearts she sends in response. Makes his stomach flip upside-down. He can't really figure out why that is yet but all he knows is that she really likes it when he talks to her like this and he is getting a good grade in texting pretty girl. This only encourages him and one or two flirty lines becomes a barrage on Hunter's end.

The "masked confidence" definitely plays a factor here. She can't see him so he feels like he can act any way he wants. He's not really all that chill in real life as he is currently sitting on his bed, unable to stay still because he's got a terrible case of the romance zoomies and he STILL can't believe he's found himself talking to such a cool and pretty girl and she seems to like him. But in the texts themselves, he seems nothing but playful and conchalant.

(I wanna say he had some smooth line prepared to follow the Flapjack pic so when he sent it to Luz by mistake, he panicked and snapped at her because he had almost sent her a message intended for the Captain. And though he still hasn't recognized it as flirting, he knows in his gut that those messages are for her eyes only and if anyone else read them he would be mortified.)

And oh my god, poor Willow on the other end. I like the idea that this is the first time anyone has ever seriously flirted with her before and she's giddy and overjoyed but also overwhelmed and scared out of her mind. Which results in a lot of kicking and pillow screaming because this boy is too much!!

He got her blushing which she thinks is SO LAME but there's not a goddamn thing she can do to stop it.

However, this is where Willow's own flirtiness is born. We definitely saw a bit of an inkling of it in ASIAS but it's through texting Hunter that she becomes comfortable with how direct she is in expressing her interest in him. (Babygirl you can be as direct as you want, he still hasn't figured out that you like him.) Which leads to mutual flirting. Mutual freaking out while laying on their beds but neither of them are backing down. They're such nerds about it. It's thrilling to them. They've never done anything like this before.

And can you imagine if this was the case and we got this?

This is the face of a boy who hadn't expected to see this girl for another year and figured that he would have plenty of time to rehearse what he would say when they met again. And now he's being attacked by her presence and he doesn't know what to do with himself. And all of a sudden, how brazenly he acted over texts is extremely embarrassing and he wants to crawl into a hole.

And Willow!!! Willow has been relentlessly flirting with him ever since. And Hunter was initially like "Can she just give me a BREAK? To gather my bearings and figure out what I'm gonna say??" No. No this is your own fault. You gave her an inch and she took a mile. You created a monster. You dug your grave, now lie in it.

Admittedly, Hunter loves this grave. Way better than the literal one he tried to dig once.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Not a Zucest shipper (more into Maiko) but that scene where Azula isn't wearing makeup and she and Zuko are in her bedroom and she's all touchy-feely towards him was honestly more sexual and intimate than the Zvtara cave scene. Honestly I would argue that Azula is a lot more on his mind than Katara, who only comes to mind when she's convenient for tracking down Aang. Heck, I would even argue Zuko has more chemistry and investment with Aang than he does with Katara.

Maiko might not be my OTP but it is still a personal favorite because MY GOD, these two are clingy with each other and it's so fucking cute.

Zuko and Aang's friendship is legitimately one of the best parts of the show, and, ironically enough, their dynamic is the closest the show ever got to the fanon zutara idea of "this hero can tell the bad guy has a heart and wants to offer him the chance of being a better person", only without the romance part - but it could have totally made for a perfectly reasonable endgame if just a few details had been changed.

Plus everything about them meeting the dragons was absolutely iconic, from "I don't care what people said, you're pretty smart", to Zuko suggesting they think about their place in the universe, to AANG ASKING ZUKO TO DANCE WITH HIM, to Zuko looking Aang straight (hehehe) in the face and going "You are source of my fire by the way. No homo."

I just love it whenever these two are on-screen together.

As for the bedroom scene between Zuko and Azula in the awakening... oh boy, did my mind go straight to the gutter the first time I saw it (and every time after that too).

Grey Delisle, iconic voice actor, former stripper, and former narrator of trailers for porno movies, really took a look at this scene of her character's older brother coming to her bedroom in the middle of the night and thought "Wouldn't it be really funny if I added some incest vibes here?" (not that the animation itself made it all that difficult).

And yeah, Azula was definitively in Zuko's mind ALL THE TIME. Like, this boy was trapped in a cave during a snow storm, Aang's soul had literally left his body and, for some fucking reason, he just... starts venting about the sister he has not seen in years. Like, I KNOW they are just setting up Azula as the villain of the second season, but that came out of nowhere!

And him imagining her as the blue dragon that represents temptation and is whispering in his ear stuff like "Just give into it" and asking when he will be going to his bedroom, even after he said he doesn't feel like sleeping... buddy. Buddy. What the hell is this?

Also I can't find that video anymore, but there was some panel Bryke was at in which they were "suggesting" many ships to the audience - and one just happened to be Azula and The Blue Spirit. If someone has a link to it, please send it to me because the audience's outraged reaction was the funniest fucking thing.

In case any of you want to see Grey being chaotic as fuck, and making Dante all embarrassed (and flirting with him) I recommend you check out these videos because they are HILARIOUS!

[thenarwhalgal]

Alright so this is possibly the dumbest idea I’ve ever had. But like somehow it holds together almost too well.

Stranger Things crossing over with The 25th Annual Putnum County Spelling Bee.

Please let me explain, this is a long one I’m sorry:

If you don’t know, the 25th (what I’m going to call it from now on) is about 5 strange kids from mostly broken families (and Chip) competing to win a spelling bee. It’s a great and really funny musical about trauma and innuendos and just how strange both spelling bees and the kids who compete in them are. Also it has 4 randomly chosen audience members come up to actually participate in the spelling bee itself (pretty cool).

Now here’s why the characters line up almost perfectly. (At least in my understanding of them all, if I’m wrong please argue with me lol I invite it.)

Let’s take the two main leads, Olive Ostrovsky and William Barfée. They line up stupidly well with Nancy and Jonathan. Olive is a pattern seeking brainiac whose only friend is the dictionary with incredibly negligent parents and a very strong desire to escape, which mimics Nancy’s need to hide herself in solving mysteries and finding stories to avoid her own trauma and the complete lack of anybody to ever stick up for her. They both bury themselves in gaining as much knowledge as they can because the worst thing that can happen is to be left with their own thoughts, Olive is also the emotional center of the show. Barfée is a pretty witty and weird kid who pushes everybody else away and holes up into his own little world but also has a heart of gold, mimicking Jonathan’s… well everything.

These two in the 25th end up with a really sweet friendship (and maybe romance?) by the end of the show, both finding understanding in each other for their mutual strangeness. Just like Nancy and Jonathan do. (Barfée is usually double-cast as Leaf’s dad).

Okay but what about the other 4 kids? I’m glad you asked!

Robin makes a wonderful Logainne (Schwartzy) SchwartzandGrubenierre. A very self-loathing loudmouth anxious perfectionist who is a constant disappointment to her parents but has really large dreams. Oh yeah, she also runs the gay-straight alliance at her school. She’s mocked by classmates and at one point during the show goes on a two minute (improvised?) rant about something to do with politics because she finds the bee unfair and wants to run for president one day. And she famously is the one who manages to annoy Panch enough to literally break him. Logainne really just wants happiness for the people around her, despite having a panic attack at the thought of losing she doesn’t want anybody else to lose either. I don’t know if I need to explain why Robin fits here lol but I will if pressed. (Double cast as Leaf’s mom usually.)

Steve! This one is somehow the best fit and I love them both for it. Steve makes a hilariously good Chip Tolentino. Athletic Boy Scout and the reigning champion of the spelling bee. He’s the most outgoing and social and least strange kid in the show but loses in the first act because and I’m not joking, he gets a boner. He sings a whole song about it actually. As he says, life is random and unfair. And he has a strong rivalry with Barfée (Jonathan) to the point they almost fight on stage and in most productions I’ve seen, is weirdly cordial with Leaf Coneybear. Again don’t think I need to explain this one, just change the girl he’s into from Leaf’s sister to Olive (Nancy) and we’re golden. Can’t go unmentioned that Chip’s actor is usually double-cast as Jesus fucking Christ.

Speaking of Leaf Coneybear! Who else but Eddie, like really? Who else but Eddie. Leaf is absolutely the one character confident enough in himself to jump up on a table and make a speech, he’s also totally the type to DM Dungeons and Dragons. Wears a cape he made himself, talks with a sock puppet sometimes, is friendly with everybody but also… is seen as a weird and stupid problem child by both his family and presumably everybody else at the Bee (Which I mean doesn’t fit his uncle but it does fit the town). He doesn’t win his hometown spelling bee and is only there because the two who placed above him had to go to a bat mitzvah. He worries he’s stupid and doesn’t belong there but finds peace in himself by the end. This delightfully mimics Eddie’s coward complex despite the fact he isn’t a coward??? And the fact he almost exists above social rules, uncaring of who anybody else is and usually judging them on character alone. Eddie and Leaf thrive in being strange. Leaf is also the sweetest character in the show you just can’t hate him. (Double cast usually as one of Logainne’s Dads).

This is probably the least good fit unfortunately, anybody who could fit Marcy Park fit in better elsewhere (Robin def would sing ‘I speak 6 languages’ and Nancy is very much the ‘best in everything but broken inside finding happiness in not winning’ girl). But Barb fits fine. She’s got that cold exterior somewhat disappointed in you never really happy with the fact she’s forced to fit in a box but does it anyway vibe. And would definitely purposefully lose and then celebrate like Christmas came early. Like it’s not perfect but it does work if you squint. (You could maybe cast Marcy as Chrissy Cunningham instead? They both do cry in bathrooms and feel trapped in their lives, happier letting go of expectations, Barb is just an easier character to characterize).

Now for the adults!

Best fit is definitely Mitch Mahoney and Jim Hopper. Like come on, this is the one where I was like… oh I’ve got something here. Gruff cop with rough exterior but a heart of gold who finds himself through comforting a lost kid and could easily be seen as a father figure? Please god that lines up so well with the ex-convict knows how rough the world is and wants the kids to know this isn’t that big a deal but finds being a comfort counselor actually fits him very well. Genuinely enjoying making sure these kids are alright and have a juice box. They’re both straight-up good people who just take a little bit longer than most to find their footing. Also Mitch being there for community service would line up with Hopper being there because Joyce dragged him into it. (Usually double cast as both Logainne’s other dad and as Olive’s pretend Dad).

Rona Lisa Perretti is the ‘could be seen as a mother figure’ counterpart to Mitch moderator of the Bee who sees herself in all of the kids and finds true joy in all of it. Joyce Byers might not line up perfectly but it’s such an easy placement okay? Like I mean, you can really tell she loves these kids, bending the rules for them even when she’s not supposed to. Also you cannot convince me Joyce isn’t the type of mom to sign up to run the school spelling bee her son goes to. (Usually double cast as Olive’s pretend Mom)

Vice Principle Douglass Panch is the only one I can’t figure out. It could be Murray, Bob, Clarke, Owens, Yuri, or even Ted (but please god no it’d fit but no) but none fit him well enough to make a call. Infatuated with Rona, had an incident as judge five years ago but claims to be in a better place now (he isn’t). Panch is a really fun character but he’s also the least mentally stable one. If I had to pick I think Murray would fit the established relationships in this crossover the most, and Yuri would fit his character the most. But again, I can’t make a good call on this one.

For the 4 audience members who fill in the ranks? Well, any ‘teen/young adult’ members of the show fit. Billy, Chrissy, Heather, Vickie, Argyle… take your pick.

— Additional stuff:

This could be easily played as a love triangle between Nancy (Olive), Jonathan (Barfée), and Steve (Chip) which works way too well for both sets of characters. It could also be played as Ronance (my personal pick lol) because Olive and Logainne I mean - if you don’t put Olive with Barfée that ship is like, right there. Olive helping Logainne through her panic attack it’s so sweet. And Olive x Her Dictionary hilariously lines up with Nancy x Her guns.

Again Chip and Leaf are weirdly friendly with each other and they’re also funfact the biggest ship on AO3 for this show which again is almost a perfect line up with Steve and Eddie. I have no words it’s just a funny coincidence. The gay ship between the weird stoner kid and the popular jock kid is universal I guess.

In other non-romantic funny coincidences:

Rona Lisa and Mitch Mahoney I’ve found usually play the good adults in the kids lives who step in and sometimes go as far as adopting some of the kids in many fanfics. Which I mean… yeah that sounds like Joyce and Hopper in the fandom as well.

Logainne has a very pronounced lisp and a tendency to overcomplicate which mimics Robins perpetual inability to stop rambling in front of pretty girls and in stressful situations.

Chip ends up forced to run the bake sale and complains about his ruined mojo, which again for some reason Chip and Steve just are perfect fits for no good reason. What a Little League champion.

Leaf and Marcy are the only two characters to lose and end up happy about it (Olive is a weird case), which is funny because Barb and Eddie are the only two characters here who die! Yay! ):

Nancy and Olive are both seen by everybody around them as the ‘sweet and lovely girl’, but are both intensely broken on the inside.

Marcy (Barb) is the character who gets to literally see Jesus, and Jesus is played by Chip (Steve). You could not have a funnier casting.

Like I mentioned above but it really needs to be highlighted, Chip and Barfée literally get as close to straight up fighting as possible. Chip at one point throws a bag of peanut M&Ms at him which if you don’t know, Barfée is allergic to, and Olive is the one who steps in. You couldn’t line it up better between these three.

The only relationship I can see that sadly doesn’t make it in here… is Robin and Steve . Chip and Logainne just don’t really talk much? I thought about shoving Robin in as Leaf for this reason and it’d work? But not nearly as well. I mean but like… this is my crossover damnit and if I want Chip and Logainne to somehow become absolute besties despite being complete opposites then I will make it happen. Chip really needs companionship and Logainne desperately needs at least one person in her life who supports her, and it’d be by far somehow the most perfect but completely alien from the outside friendship in the show. Which parallels Steve and Robin nicely (The added benefit that nobody would believe they weren’t dating if Robin wasn’t out as gay in this continuity).

————

So like, here’s the thing. I have spent way too long thinking about this, and I had to get it out there. Maybe it works as well as I’ve made it out to, maybe it doesn’t. The point is I think it’d be really funny, and as far as I know nobody has even brought it up so far. Which I get! Like I said, this is possibly the dumbest idea I’ve ever had. But it works way better than it should and I had to make other people understand my vision.

So thanks for reading all of this and please if you want to and have made it this far, give me your thoughts.

[seradyn]

Ruvik, Karl and the daemon bastard husband Ardyn 😂💙

YES MY BOIS 👏💕👏

Gonna go in the order you listed 😉

Was gonna add video clips of my favorite moments, but you can only do one per post, so the rest are gifs 😭😭

Ruvik

First impression: Woah, who is this guy, and why is he so powerful? Is he a demon? A vengeful spirit? I am very intrigued.

Impression now: Oh god he’s tragic. OH GOD HE’S TRAGIC.

Favorite moment: In the first Kidman DLC, The Assignment, Ruvik has some absolutely spectacular dialogue with her and Leslie at the very end, after cornering them in the church. It gives me chills every time and the delivery is perfect.

“We’re all their pawns, eventual victims.

They killed me! They ripped me apart, and took what they needed.

I will destroy what they wish to control.”

The elevator scene with Sebastian is also great, but man this one is just sublime in every way.

Idea for a story: I’ve been playing with the idea for a x Reader fic with him, one in which they essentially kill him with kindness. He hasn’t experienced kindness or affection since the accident, so I’m excited to explore his character dealing with someone who doesn’t immediately find him repulsive or isn’t intimidated by him. There will also be lots of bumbling on his end, cause even though he’s smart af, he doesn’t know the first thing about relationships 😂

Unpopular opinion: He deserves compassion, and hating him is extremely shortsighted. Yes, he did terrible things, no one is debating that, but choosing to ignore the broken pieces of his humanity left in the game is being deliberately obtuse. Not saying you shouldn’t or can’t hate him, but it shouldn’t be without acknowledging his trauma. And putting others down for not hating him is downright juvenile.

Favorite relationship: I’m all about that self ship, which is probably his best bet at getting any romance, based on being…well, a serial killer. Some of my friends have shown me Ruvik x Stefano though, and that relationship would be interesting to say the least 😆

Favorite head cannon: Touch starved af and craves affection. Although touch starved is basically cannon, I think he also deeply craves some kind of connection with someone. He lost everyone he cared about; his sister died in the fire, his parents locked him in a basement, his research partner betrayed him, which lead to his death (the one he’s discussing in the above quote). I head cannon he longs for someone he can trust, really trust, and anguishes over his loneliness.

Moving on…

Karl Heisenberg

First impression: I hadn’t played the game, but I’d seen pictures of him. For some reason I thought he was the main villain, and was working with Chris to make the main character help him (no fucking clue how I arrived here 🤣🤣). Thought he was some big, gruff man who didn’t talk much and smiled even less. Why does he look like Ardyn?

Impression now: LMAOOO THIS DUDE IS A MASSIVE TROLL AND I AM SO HERE FOR IT 😂😂😂 I could not have been more wrong about him (or the plot, still not sure how I got there). He’s funny and I love his smile, and how much of a tool he is. I must say, I did not expect his voice to sound the way it does, but I’m not complaining 🥰

Favorite moment: Why isn’t there more of him why isn’t there more WHY ISN’T THERE MORE??? Anyway, probably when he tries to convince Ethan to work with him.

“Neither did I! But here we are.

And I’m next in line, right? Kill me, move up the chain!

Well, fuck that!”

He’s so animated here, I love it 🥰

Idea for a story: I’ve already mentioned I got something cookin in the old noggin, but I have more details on what I want to happen now, so I’ll be happy to share them! Surprise surprise, it’s x Reader, where they’re a botanist sent to survey the remote mountains of Romania. Collect data on the plants there for the university they work at, along with two colleagues who are cartographers, going to update outdated maps of the area. They get captured and typical RE shenanigans ensue, but I also want reader to be connected to Umbrella somehow, which I hope you can help me with. I want Miranda to know too, so she starts sending reader to all the Lords to see what happens. Little does she know reader starts to osmose some of all their powers, turning into something far more dangerous than she could’ve imagined.

That’s all I got for now, no more spoilers! Unless you want them 😉

Unpopular opinion: He has more respect for his partners than some of you seem to think. I’ve read plenty of stories where Karl is super hands on with his partner, slapping their ass and manhandling them all the time, sometimes hours after meeting them. Not my fuckin Heisenberg. He keeps his hands to himself, unless he has explicitly gotten permission to do any touching. Honestly wish some of y’all would tag your stories when you make him all grabby, it’s kinda triggering for me.

Favorite relationship: My first answer is going to be x Reader for all of these, I’m a sucker for the stuff. Although Karl x Ethan sounds endlessly amusing to me. Karl would be the puppy bouncing around everywhere while Ethan would brood in a corner 😂

Favorite head cannon: Extremely sensitive to trauma responses, and is good at comforting, due to the things Miranda did to him. He doesn’t want anyone he likes to know what that helplessness or fear feelings like.

Last, but the farthest thing from least…

Ardyn Izunia Lucis Caelum

First impression: I knew he was the villain before I started the game, but that’s all I knew. Thought he was funny as I actually got into the game, and why the hell is he everywhere??

Impression now: GREEK PLAY LEVEL TRAGIC HERO AND MY HEART ETERNALLY ACHES FOR HIM. Seriously, they did NOT need to fuck Ardyn up so much, there’s plenty of shit that happened to him that could make someone a villain by itself. But the gods and Squenix said ‘fuck this guy in particular’. I thought y’all called him ‘trash Jesus’ cause he looks like the guy, but NOOOOO there’s actually fucking parallels between the two. The healer, the betrayal, the crucifixion…not exactly subtle when you take the time to look. Aside from all that, I still love how funny he is, he always makes me laugh (when he’s not making me cry), and he’s super smart. Plus, I will always admire how he made it so he wins no matter what happens in the end. That takes some galaxy brain level planning.

Favorite moment: Imma let it speak for itself;

“You think ten years is a long time? It is nothing to me!

I have lived in darkness for AGES!”

God, the fucking level of emotion absolutely dripping from that last word kills me very time. Darin de Paul did excellently with Ardyn’s lines up until that point, but this one hits differently. The sheer anguish and sorrow you can hear in his voice is breathtaking. Made worse when you realize he’s being literal…he has spent actual ages locked in a dark cell. Words can’t properly give it credit.

Idea for a story: yall chapter 11 of ADCT is gonna be like 10k+ words 😂😂 Not done yet and it’s already at 7k lol. Hope that makes up for the 6 month hiatus 😵‍💫 Aside from that though, I have another idea for a long fic, albeit a shorter one. Where reader gets washed up on Angelgard before Verstael, and is horrified to find Ardyn strung up on the island. After freeing him, they have to work together to try to survive, figuring out how to get food, water, and fight off hypothermia. Verstael eventually arrives, and takes both of them back to Niflehiem.

Unpopular opinion: Most handsome character in FFXV by a long shot. He’s in space.

Favorite relationship: Apart from x Reader, I’m boring for this one. Ardyn x Aera, they’re so sweet and cute together. Forever bitter Ardyn didn’t get to reunite with her at the end. I know some people dig Ardyn x Gilgamesh, but meh, it’s just not for me. Hope y’all who do like it have fun with it though 😁

Favorite head cannon: Absolute teddy bear with his SOs, fucking bastard troll man with everyone else. Dynamic is super fun and amusing to me, I love the thought of him being a bean one moment then turning around and roasting Ravus with political talk the next. Oh, I also love the thought that he has a massive sweet tooth. Since his hair didn’t grow at all during his time on Angelgard, I like to think his body is in some kind of stasis, that it can’t be changed, and Ardyn takes full advantage of that. He’s got at least three different types of cake in his fridge, and several pints of ice cream in the freezer. He also keeps candy bars in his desk.

Thank you so much for this ask, it was a ton of fun to write! 😁😁