#like somebody cared or at least Noticed Me so yeah I’m sorry I’m

[corrodedcoughin]

okay so your trans art binge-reblog spree yesterday kinda synced up with me having Intense Gender Feels so please allow me the liberty of gently knocking at your inbox again bc I feel a mighty need to unleash some trans!Eddie headcanons on you >.>

imagine the sheer emancipation of Eddie growing out his hair again after he had cut it short when first moving in with Wayne but this time long hair feels different and so, so much freeing bc it's no longer a stupid social expectation rooted in sth that isn't even true about him but instead a personal choice, one deeply connected with the music that comforts and inspires him like nothing else

imagine the freedom of him first realizing he's trans and how things — maybe not all things but at least some of them — suddenly fell into place from just knowing who he is, even if back then he had no opportunity and no safe place to as much as think about trying to socially transition. just feeling like his authentic self for once, without the weight of others' preconceptions about all the arbitrary ways he's supposed to be. he might've been unable to tell anyone at that time but simply having that knowledge to himself was liberating from the years of having felt like there's sth wrong with him. liberating bc now he knew for a fact that there wasn't. how can this be wrong if it made him feel like himself for the first time maybe ever?

imagine him hesitantly knocking on his uncle's door in the middle of the night when he had no choice but to run away from home. imagine the surprise on Wayne's face and all the unyielding unquestioning trust and comfort he's got for him, so thorough and genuine that it only takes him a few days to come out despite the fear. and then Wayne's silence breaks into a question of what name his nephew would like to called then. the words startling soon-to-be-Eddie into a impulsive hug, which is returned with utmost care and with quiet thinking-out-loud rambling of whether Wayne's got any clothes that would fit his nephew and that he would feel comfortable in

imagine the joy when Eddie gets a fake ID from Reefer Rick one day

imagine him making friends with the rest of Corroded Coffin guys and, when he gathers the courage and trust to come out, being met with support, ranging from confusion and a promise to eventually get how any of it works and to respect Eddie's pronouns etc, to deep understanding that hardly needs words bc you know you're being seen for who you actually are

imagine Eddie working on his voice and ending up achieving some success partly thanks to singing along to his favorite songs and trying to learn harsh metal vocals and at first scaring everyone around by going over the top with them until he figures out ways to train his voice to be more masculine sounding without resorting to that kind of harshness (and developing multiple fun vocal stims on the way)

imagine Eddie getting together with Steve and as a bonus gaining the perfect person to get advice from when it comes to figuring out a workout routine for his purposes

imagine the relief of knowing there are multiple people who you can be your authentic self with and who love you for this and would never change a single thing about what makes you yourself

oof well, I kinda carried away "a bit" (meanwhile the Feels have only intensified further whoops) and these are in no particular order but I really hope you'll like this humble offering. have a restful fulfilling weekend💜

LIAM!!!! LIAM!!!!! I am always ready for transing the narrative (been in some gender struggles too so let’s be in this together 🤝) I’m going to be running commentary replying so if it’s incoherent or accidentally cover something said later I’m sorry!!

- the hair!! YES!!! I feel like he had long hair before and felt pushed into have short hair in order to be taken seriously in his identity but what he always really wanted to be was ‘just a boy with long hair’ and the more it grows the happier he gets becuase THIS!! THIS!!! Is who he feels like he should have always been!!! This feel RIGHT! When it gets past the length of being ‘acceptable’ for a boy and starts brushing his shoulders he hasn’t never felt more strongly that he is Right. That this is Who He Is, this is Eddie Munson and Eddie Munson is a societal expectation-dodging BOY

- THE ACCEPTANCE AND REALISATION!!! What if he was going around as a child saying kid stuff like ‘when will I grow a beard?’ And being hushed by his elders (before Wayne). Going along with what was given to him, be it toys or clothes because his family didn’t have a lot so he’s not going to ask for more but knowing that they didn’t feel right. That he was performing a character for these people and hoping it would be enough for them, for himself. It’s not, something still feels wrong and he can’t figure out. But then, then he gets the keys to the kingdom, he moves in with Wayne and Wayne gives him some money and sets him loose in the thrift shop. At the start he sifts through the girl’s rails but all of the sizes are wrong for him. So wayne just suggests the boys racks because hey it’s just T-shirts and we need to get you stuff that fits. He guides eddie to the plain T-shirts, not thinking much of it. Not thinking it’ll be a Realisation in the young mind of his nephew. Eddie goes home with 2 boys T-shirts that day and from then on gravitates to exclusively wearing them. Next thrift shop visit eddie makes a beeline to the boys section and doesn’t look back.

- AHHH WAYNE AND COMING OUT I LOVE YOUR VERSION!!! What about Wayne passing a couple of shirts on to Eddie? A hat too? And a belt because god knows Eddie’s buying the jeans that hide his hips and needs something to hold them up. Wayne starts calling eddie ‘son’ and ‘boy’. Every time it’s like Christmas lights have been turned on behind his eyes. He feels dizzy with it, can’t contain himself, has to clench his fists to stop himself from shaking becuase this? This feels right. It fees Correct and knowing Wayne is here with him is the ballast he needs to secure himself on this unpredictable ride.

-CORRODED COFFIN SAYING ITS SO METAL OF HIM. (I personally also hc Gareth as trans so I like to think that Jeff and Freak are always ready to be Boys and show them Boy Stuff. Like alongside band practice they had Boy Practice at the start and now they can burp the alphabet in harmony and can armpit fart guitar solos and play fight and are just GOOFY)

- eddie going to a gig or band practice and then the next morning waking up with a slightly wrecked voice that he /loves/. He surreptitiously tries to maintain it, shouting lyrics in his room and just screaming sometimes but it starts to get painful and he accepts he has to find a different way. He listens to the radio with Wayne, asks to go with him when Wayne’s work friends plan a couple of drinks in one of their yards. Eddie gets to go to a couple, gets to listen to Wayne’s country and rock radio stations. Gets to hear these men talking and tries out phrases he hears when he’s on his own, records them on a tape deck he found in the thrift by luck one day. Records and re-records until he gets it right. Until he can prank call principle Higgins and get shouted at down the phone ‘I’ll find out who your father is boy! He’ll have your hide!’ The peak is when he goes into scoops and gets everything he wanted ‘hey man, how’s it going?’ From the offensively cute sailor with the big hands and strawberry sweet smile

- WORKOUT SUPPORT STEVE. YES. YES ABSOLUTELY!!! Steve showing him that he can’t just hit upper body every day, that he has to get everywhere. That he needs to make his core thicker if he wants that boy look. That working on his quads and calves will help, he promises it won’t leave him a big butt and tiny waist. (Not unless he wants Steve’s routine, that boy is going to work on his ass-ets okay?) eddie doing his first full push up with Proper Form and feeling the muscles in his back move and thinks yes. This is Good. God knows he’s not great at sticking to it but when it serves a purpose and it means he gets to ogle his boyfriend? Kind of a win win

- TBE LAST POINT!!! Yes!!! Eddie living in subconscious fear for so long that he pushes the very notion of being a Boy down. so far Down and Away that he won’t ever let it see the light of day. Or so he thinks. He tells himself that he is fine, that this is fine. But it isn’t and he doesn’t know what feels wrong. Until it slowly starts to change at a glacial speed. He tries different things. Starting only in his room, makes jokes that he thinks he can get away with in front of Wayne. Pushes it further, does more Boy things with corroded coffin. Sees that it’s okay? They are okay with it? With how he is? Sees that Wayne just nods at him and doesn’t make a fuss? That Wayne’s friends don’t bay an eye somehow? (Sure some guys at work do, but Wayne makes sure they know where their opinions aren’t wanted. That Wayne and his group aren’t to be taken lightly on the topic of Wayne’s nephew)

Eddie experiencing so much acceptance and love and there being so venom in it. No ‘waiting’ for it all to pass and Eddie to go back to ‘normal’. Eddies never been normal and that’s a badge he starts to wear with pride. With defiance. Knowing that he has everyone he could ever need how could be not?

[i-magines]

Wildest Dreams: Chapter 3

Pedro Pascal x fem!Reader

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6  | CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 9 | CHAPTER 10

synopsis: You’re an assistant director in an indie movie set and fate makes sure you keep crossing paths with a certain Chilean actor.  

disclaimer: This is my first Pedro Pascal’s fictional work + the first fanfic I write in English, as it isn’t my first language. Unfortunately, I do not own Pedro and this is all a product of my imagination.

rating: M (keep scrolling if your under 18 please)

warnings: age gap, mature content, fem!reader, eventual drinking and drugs, a little smut but nothing crazy (yet), a bit slow burn but not really.  

word count: 1,509

Over the first month, your friendship with Pedro only grew stronger. You were afraid once the production set was moved to the country, he was going to just disappear, as you were no longer roommates. You’d be lying to yourself if you said he didn’t make you feel anything, especially with how charming and flirting he was. You both had shared a lot of personal stuff over smoking joints and you were already used to hanging out together after a day of filming. But today things were going to be different, because the producers had organized a little happy hour for the crew.

Speaking of them, you had asked Pedro to keep your friendship on the low, at least during the job. You knew what everyone would say and think, mostly about you alone, so you were looking after yourself. He understood that and apparently didn’t care to be sneaking out like a teenager to spend some time with you.

“There you are”, Pedro happily greeted you on the corner of the happy hour room, about two hours into the event. “I almost didn’t get the chance to see you today. How’s everything going?”

At this point, you were certain the director hated you, but thank God he was the only one. Everyone else seemed to really like you and your work, which helped a lot with your anxiety.

“He spent the day trying to drive me crazy… Again”, you told Pedro. “You?”

“I would definitely rather be directed by you, if I’m being honest” he said in sympathy. “But yeah, it won’t take long for me to tell him to fuck off. Super nicely, of course.”

You both laughed. You could see he had been drinking and so did everybody in the room. Somebody turned up the music and Pedro dragged you to the improvised dance floor. You danced for about half an hour, until you saw him going to talk to Donna, one of the producers. They seemed friendly— too friendly, if somebody asked your opinion. You noticed it before, how close they acted sometimes, but at the end of the day, it was none of your business. Flo, the make-up artist that got you the job, got your attention and you walked to her.

“What’s up with that face?” She shot you the question. Flo was in her mid 40s and you got to know her in your first gig, since then she was always trying to connect you with people. You really liked her and, most importantly, trusted her. “You looked like you were about to commit murder on the dance floor. I know Dave is giving you a hard time, but honestly he is doing this to every single soul.”

“I was just wondering, is Donna taken?”, you asked as if you had no intention behind it.

“Yeah, I think so”, she told you. “Why? You gay too?”

“Someti— wait, what?” You stared at each other for a few seconds. “Is she?”

“As far as I know”, she said simply. “And by that I mean I’ve known her for about 10 years now. Sorry to disappoint you.”

“No, you didn’t. I mean, good for her, right.”

You decided you need to put your shit together now on. You excused yourself and went to get another drink — you can be a new woman tomorrow. You took some shots and got a drink to hold while you watched everyone dancing and having a good time. You tried to force yourself to stop thinking about your crush on Pedro.

“I need professional help”, you whispered to yourself.

“And why is that?”

“Shit, Pedro!” You jumped, realizing he was right by your side. “You scared the shit out of me, you shithead.”

“Wow, language, sweetheart”, he laughed at your reaction, putting his arm over your shoulder. “What are you up to?”

“Not much, just enjoying the free drinks”, you replied, also enjoying the proximity of his body. “I can see you’re enjoying them yourself.”

“Nah, I’m thinking about getting out of here, people are starting to get too drunk and God forbid I witness anything I can’t unsee”, he was being playful and seemed happy when he got a smile out of you. “Care to join me? Or you already have plans for tonight?”

“Yeah, you know me, Miss Popularity herself”, you both laughed. “Seriously, though. I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Is it okay if we leave together? Considering your privacy policy”, he whispered in your ear. Only if he knew how weak that makes you. You just nodded. “After you, mi princesa.”

Fuck you, Pedro Pascal, you thought as you made the effort to move your shaking legs. Two options: first, he had no idea of his effects on you, or second, he did know that and he just liked to torture you. However it is, you were not willing to make a move to figure it out. 

The location of the shooting was a huge farm, so you walked together through the open field, towards his cabin. You got inside and took your shoes off.

“Hey, mister ‘I’m just a common worker as everybody else’, tell me again why exactly you are the only one with a private hot tube”, you teased him. He laughed. “Is it because you’re such good friends with Donna?”.

“So that’s what it was about back in the happy hour?” Pedro looked deeply into your eyes. “Such a jealous little girl, uh?”

You looked away, embarrassed. You can’t deny your brain formulated that sentence, but the alcohol spilled it out your mouth.

“Answering your question, I’m not really friends with Donna, but her partner is one of my closest colleagues in the industry”, he said in a patient tone. “And you’re welcome to use the hot tube whenever you feel like it.”

You could feel your cheeks burning. Fuck.

“I didn’t mean to— to be honest, I don’t even know what I meant, so don’t mind drunk Y/N”, you breathed out strongly.

“Why don’t we forget about it and instead go chill in the hot tube?” He offered you a smile. Pedro was so easy to deal with, always trying to make you comfortable. “I have more of that nice whisky you like.”

You quickly put on your bikini in your room and head back to Pedro’s cabin. You could hear the happy hour turning into a party on the back, as you joined him inside the tub. You did your best to not stare at his toned, tanned body. He was smoking a cigar and handed you a glass.

“You know what’s funny”, he started, you already knew you wouldn’t find it funny at all. “This is the second time I see you in a tub.”

“Well, fuck you very much sir”, you held a serious face before letting a smile scape. “That was traumatic.”

“Why is that? I would say you made quite an impression”, he laughed, something different sparkling in his eyes. “Would it bother you if I said I still think about it?”

You felt your body hot, as if the water was on boiling point.

“God”, you whispered. He never took his eyes off yours. “I don’t know what to say, Pedro.”

“It’s a simple question, sweetheart”, he replied, coming a little closer. You got chills all over your body. “Honestly, I don’t know if you only see me as this friendly, older, disgusting man—”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” you cut him before he could finish. “Feel free to think about whatever you like.”

“Good”, he said quietly, his body even closer, but still not touching yours. “Tell me what you were doing on the tub that day, sweetheart.”

“I-I was, uh,” you felt like you were about to explode, your brain trying to process if this was really happening. “I was touching myself.”

“Finally, princesa”, he let out a deep breath against your neck. “You don’t know how many times I wanted to hear you say this, to be sure my memory wasn’t fucking with me.”

He touched your waist with his hand, putting the cigar away with the other one. You felt delirious.

“What are you going to do now that you know?” The question popped out of your mouth.

He grabbed your arm to move your body, making you sit on his lap. Face to face. He was hard as fuck.

“I will take you back to your cabin, give you a goodnight kiss…” He made a pause. His stare was deep down your soul. “Come back to mine and think ‘bout you while I mind my own business.”

He was dead serious.

“I’m too horny to go to sleep”, you cried to him, all your blood concentrated between your legs. You moved on his lap, rubbing against his cook.

“Trust me”, he said as his hands firmly held your hips down, making you stop and yet feel him ever harder. “I feel the same way.”

He gave you a little forehead kiss.

“C’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

CHAPTER 4 AVALIABLE NOW

TAGLIST: @kyuupidwrites @omg-its-typical-aesthetics-fan @vivibabiez @ivyohmy @sebastianstansimp @tubble-wubble @28cnn @3zae-zae3 @technicallysassyfox @bellatrixyoass @mandolover86​ (edit: i’m not sure why i wasn’t able to tag everybody i’m trying my best here)

[tinyinvadr]

I’m back with another chapter! Thank you all so much for supporting this fic! It’s cool to know that people like the same stuff as I do, and it motivates me to write more!

Ch. 1/Ch. 2

Hide & Shrink

Chapter 3

I woke up on a plush surface, practically sinking into it. There was a part of me that wanted to still believe my entire experience with the Digital Circus was a dream, but I knew that couldn’t be true.

This wasn’t my bed. Not my real bed, at least. In fact, it didn’t feel like a bed at all, more like a giant pillow.

Right. The last thing that happened before I passed out was when I realized that Caine couldn’t change me back to my normal size. Which meant wherever I was, I was likely still tiny.

I finally opened my eyes, and the bright colors surrounding me were almost blinding. Massive blankets and pillows of every shade stretched as far as I could see.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, the pillows were kind of nice. It reminded me of pillow forts…

Of course. This was Kinger’s pillow fort. That made sense, since he was holding me before I passed out. He probably brought me there so I could rest.

“Oh, Pomni, you’re awake! You really had us scared back there.”

I don’t know how I didn’t notice that Kinger was also in the fort with me right away. Then again, he kind of blended in. His robes almost looked like one of the blankets.

I tried to scoot myself back, but the pillow was too soft and I ended up just sinking into it further.

“Oh, did you need help getting up? I’ve got you!”

Kinger started to reach for me, and I frantically tried to move away faster.

“Nononono! It’s okay! I’m okay!”

He could tell I was panicking and stopped, glancing away in shame.

“Aw, I’m sorry. I must be freaking you out right now. I know I’d be terrified if I was in your place. But there’s nothing to worry about! I won’t grab you again, and it’s perfectly safe in my impenetrable fortress, so we can just wait here until Caine gets this whole thing sorted out.”

Admittedly, I needed the levity, so I gave Kinger a nod of approval and willingly let myself sink into the pillow. I could see why he liked to hide in his fort. It was like a little break room from the overwhelming insanity of the circus.

But it wasn’t as impenetrable as he thought it was.

A pillow on the bottom of the fort suddenly slid out of place, and before either of us could react, a huge assortment of pillows and blankets came crashing down on us.

It was a chain reaction of disaster as Kinger fell onto the pillow I was laying on, and the sudden weight shift sent me flying into the air, only to fall on my face a couple inches away. As I struggled to push myself up, I could hear the voices of the others.

“Jax! What did you do that for?!”

“What? I wanted a pillow.”

“But… Pomni could’ve gotten hurt…”

“These are cartoon physics we’re workin’ with here. She’s fine, look.”

For the third time, I was grabbed without warning and lifted into the air, this time by Jax. The thought of what he might do made me sick. The others at least seemed like they were worried about me, but it was pretty clear that he didn’t care.

In front of me stood Ragatha, Gangle, and Zooble, all looking concerned. Well, at least Ragatha and Gangle. Zooble’s expressions are kind of hard to read.

“She doesn’t look fine…”

“Yeah. I’m sure she LOVES being grabbed like that, Jax. Totally not traumatizing at all.”

Jax simply laughed off their concerns, emoting by moving his hands and arms around a lot in a way that was definitely intentional.

“Hey, come on, you guys, Pomni can speak for herself. If she didn’t like it she’d say something. Isn’t that right, Pom?”

By the time he stopped talking and moving me around, I couldn’t hold back and I threw up. Again.

Jax quickly dropped me and backed up in disgust.

“Ew. Somebody call Bubble.”

Right as he said that, Bubble appeared in front of me, way too close for comfort.

“Cleanup crew at your service!”

I backed up as he started licking up the vomit just as he did the day before. He’s really a freaky little thing. Though he didn’t look so little from my perspective.

Caine appeared shortly afterward, shaking his head(?) at Bubble, but then shifted his attention to me.

“Goodness gracious! You sure are prone to getting sick, aren’t you? Do you need anything? Want me to carry you to your room?”

The last thing I wanted was to be picked up again, so I queasily backed up in protest.

“No, no, it’s fine, I can get there by myself.”

Just as I regained my balance enough to start walking away, Jax walked in front of me, nearly stepping on me.

“You sure about that, shorty?”

Ragatha glared at him again as she made her way over to Caine.

“Anyway, Caine, have you made any progress on finding a way to fix Pomni?”

“Nope! Still working on it! But don’t worry, I’m sure a solution will come to me soon! After all, this is the digital world, and anything is possible!”

Zooble scoffed. “Yeah. Anything except leaving.”

“That’s the spirit, Zooble! Now then, Pomni, I leave the choice up to you if you want any of us to escort you to your room, or anywhere else you might like to go!”

I really would have preferred to be alone, but that wasn’t an option on the off chance that Jax decided to try anything else. I needed someone I could trust. I needed the one person I’d been avoiding.

Keeping my eyes glued to the ground, I approached Ragatha.

“Um… Ragatha? Can I go with you?”

She didn’t say a word, and kneeled down in front of me, her hands resting on the floor. I looked up to meet her eyes, and she gave a reassuring smile as if to say that this would all be on my own terms, and she wasn’t going to grab me.

I was still hesitant to even get near her, but she had a calm patience that the others didn’t. It was like she was willing to wait there for as long as it took until I was ready. In each passing moment I could feel my nerves ease just a little bit more, and finally, I took the first step onto her hand.

Due to her being a rag doll, Ragatha’s hands didn’t feel much different from the pillow I was sitting on earlier. I sat myself down, continuing to look up at her as she watched and waited.

“You okay?” She asked, her voice soft and warm. I simply nodded, and she continued to smile and wait. “Just let me know when you’re ready for me to stand up.”

I gave her another nod of approval, and she slowly stood up, holding me close to her for support, but not too tight to where I felt trapped. As she lifted me up, I could see the others looking on in surprise at how calm I seemed.

“Alright guys, I’ll be back in a bit.” Ragatha said as she turned to walk down the hallways where everyone’s rooms were.

As soon as we were far enough away from the group, I finally worked up the courage to speak again.

“I… thank you…”

She let out a content sigh as she continued walking.

“Hey, I’ve got your back.”

[freedomfireflies]

halsjwkoahejwk i need more mr & mrs hey soul sister!!! maybe some smut?? 😏😏

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

You do your best to ignore the aggravating British man storming after you as you slip your earring into your ear. “I already told you.”

He barrels through the doorway nonetheless, arms crossing as his irritated stare finds your profile. “Did you forget the fact that we’re married?”

“Did you forget the fact that I don’t care?” You turn now, mimicking his stance as you nod your chin at him. “I don’t see why it matters—”

“It matters because if somebody sees you on a fucking date with a man who isn’t your husband, then people are gonna talk,” he retorts, volume rising exponentially as your eyebrow quirks up. “Which is the whole reason we made this fucking arrangement in the first place.”

“Nobody is gonna see us,” you remind him. “I’m going to his apartment and we’re watching a movie, so if you’d please just relax.”

“No.” His head shakes as he straightens up, shoulders squaring as he lowers his eyes at you. “No, I forbid you to go.”

To this, your jaw drops, eyes widening as you lean back. “I’m sorry…what?”

“I forbid you to go. We don’t need to give people more reasons to doubt the marriage and honestly? You’re being reckless.”

“I’m being reckless? I wasn’t the one at The Box all fucking night,” you huff, mirroring his glare. “Doesn’t really say devoted and true, now does it?”

“I was there for a business meeting,” he argues, teeth beginning to grit as you scoff.

“Right.” You turn back to the mirror. “Business. Yeah, okay.”

He takes a step, muscles in his jaw constricting as he eyes your outfit. “The fuck are you wearing?”

“A dress, Sherlock.”

“Why? You’re watching a movie.”

“Yeah, and I wanna look nice.”

“Ew. Seriously?”

Your eyes roll as you lean closer to your reflection and swipe your pinky across your lips to perfect the makeup. “Gee, you always know just what to say.”

“You look like a whore,” he tells you plainly, and you’d be offended if you didn’t kind of agree. “And my wife should only be a whore for me.”

“Yeah, well. Things change.” You turn now, smirking to yourself when you notice the scowl on his face. “Besides, I’ve got a deal to win.”

This time, it’s his turn to roll his eyes and you can’t help but be a bit proud.

He’s right, after all. There’s a particular reason you wore this dress and it’s not for your date.

You’d been doing so well at avoiding the lingering glances at the dinner table. Resisting the temptation as he’d stroll about the house, fresh out of the shower, clad in only a towel as he dripped his way from room to room. Holding your composure even when he’d fuck his fist in the room next to you, groaning just loud enough for you to hear.

But, so far, neither of you have broken any rules. No moves have been made. No touches have been exchanged. No caving has been committed. 

And you have to win.

Mostly because you want, more than anything, to get out of all those events and appearances.

But also because…maybe you wanna reminisce that night.

At least one more time.

Which is why this friendly movie night with your old friend Lucas is the perfect opportunity for you to test his limits.

And maybe it’s wrong…

But maybe you don’t care.

You brush past him now, heading for the front door as you glance around for your purse.

You wait until he’s striding after you to bend over and pick up the bag, slowly and purposefully as you physically hear his breath hitch in his throat.

You don’t have to see his face to know he’s flushed as he stares openly at your ass, and you do your best not to chuckle as you straighten back up.

“Don’t wait up, okay?” you call sweetly, offering a small wave of your fingers in greeting as you reach for the handle.

The door swings open about halfway before a large palm finds the wood and slams it shut just before you can slip through. 

Startled (but secretly pleased), you turn, noticing the rage sitting comfortably behind his eyes.

Your hands find your hips. “The hell are you doi—”

He takes a step forward, forcing your back against the door as your question dies in your throat. You feel breathless, staring up at him expectantly as you feel the turn of the tide approaching. 

For a moment, all he does is look at you. Familiar, hauntingly green eyes flicking across your face before falling to your lips. 

He takes another step. Until his chest can just barely brush your own. Until you feel the way your stomach drops. The way you steel yourself for his touch. The way you realize how pathetically desperate you are.

But still, he makes no move to relieve you of your sinful desires. Perhaps he’s waiting for you to cave first, but your determination is much stronger than he gives you credit for. 

If he wants it…he’ll have to take it.

“What are you doing to me,” he murmurs, tone soft but intentional.

You attempt to appear relaxed, one shoulder bobbing up in response. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“What are you doing?” he whispers, almost pained, and your lips part. “Wearing this…just to hurt me. Walking around my house like you don’t think I’ll ruin you.”  

You exhale a shaky breath, lashes fluttering shut the closer he brings himself. Until all you know is him. His touch, his scent—you’ve never wanted anything more.

His hand finds the door, palm resting beside your head as he leans down, nose grazing yours as he hesitates. “Tell me you want me.”

“No.”

You won’t succumb to the desire. Won’t lose this game when you’re so close. Not when this was all his idea. Not when he’s…when you’re…

He gets closer, hips taut to yours as he practically begs you with his body language alone to give him what he wants. What you both want.

“Tell me,” he repeats as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth. “Tell me you want me to fuck you against this door. Tell me you want me to drag you down to the floor until you’re fucking screaming. Have you…on every fucking surface in this house…until you remember who I am.”

“Yeah? And who are you?”

A moment of silence. Labored breathing and tension thick enough to cut. 

“I’m the only one you fucking come for.”

And maybe you’d have a snippy retort if he wasn’t grabbing your hips and turning you around, pressing you tight to the door as he reaches for the hem of your dress.

And maybe that’s just fine with you.

His nimble fingers find the lacy fabric that you wore just for him in hopes that you’d find yourselves here and rips it down your shaking legs.

You hear the sound of his knees hitting the floor before you even realize what’s happening and next thing you do know is the feel of his nose brushing your inner thigh as he licks his way up your cunt.

You gasp—loudly—palms finding the door as you brace yourself. Your legs are forced apart to make room for the egregious man tugging you onto his face as you’re left to wonder why you kept yourself from him in the first place.

“Har—” Your voice is timid. Quiet. Too overcome with the pleasure of his tongue feeling you out. “What…what are you—”

“What’s it fucking look like, darling?” he sneers from below, grip tightening in remonstration. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

It is. It is, but you can’t let him know. “Wanted…to go on my date—”

“Bullshit.” A bitter laugh. “Think I know my darling wife better than that, hm?”

Your head shakes in disapproval. “You don’t know anything except your own desperation.”

“No?” He pulls back and you almost regret your response until you feel the rough pad of his finger circling inside before curling and forcing your knees to nearly give. “Funny. Cause the way you’re dripping down my knuckles right now suggests otherwise.”

You choke on a whine, forehead finding the door as you take a deep breath. 

“Face it, sweetheart,” he leers now, lips brushing your skin whenever he speaks, only adding to the sensation. “If you’re getting yourself wet for me, you’ve already lost.”

“Who…who said this was for you?” Your determination to resist proves strong as you manage to just hiss the response. “Maybe I’m excited about Lucas.”

“Lucas.” Another bitter hiss as he merely laughs at the name. “S’that his name? That’s who you’re using to try and hurt me? Oh, sweet girl. It’d almost be flattering if it weren’t so fucking pathetic.”

He groans now following the taste of you down his throat before he finds your hips once more and turns you back around.

Your head drops until your eyes find his, your heart racing as you notice the flush in his cheeks. The drip down his chin, glistening under the soft moonlight streaming through the window. The determined expression on his face.

“Don’t have to do that, you know,” he mumbles, dipping his head down to graze his lips over your hip, but keeping his stare on yours the entire time. “Don’t have to play with me like that.”

You can say nothing, so entranced with the beautiful man before you.

“Just say the word,” he whispers, fingers digging deep into your skin as he pulls you closer to his mouth. “Say the word and I’m yours.”

And maybe you know better. Maybe you know that this arrangement should stay what it started as. Purely business. An agreement meant to be taken seriously until it came to its inevitable end.

But maybe you don’t want it to.

“Please.” It comes out before you can stop it, your thighs squirming under his touch as you pant frantically. “Please, Harry.”

“Please what?”

Your nails scratch down the wall as you attempt to resist the urge to run them down his scalp, your eyes softening as you plead, “Please touch me.”

“I am touching you,” he says calmly, and you swallow a whine.

“Fuck me,” you correct, head rolling back against the door. “Please, Har. Fuck me. Ruin me. Make me yours. I just…I need—”

And that’s all he wants to hear, standing to his feet as he presses his lips to yours in a rushed and messy kiss, tongue in your mouth before you quite realize what just happened.

Because if there’s one thing you know about Harry…

He always makes good on his word.

Next Part:

~ Mr. & Mrs. Hey Soul Sister pt. 6*

Previous Part:

~ Mr. & Mrs. Hey Soul Sister pt. 4

~ Other Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

[resident-gay-bitch]

“can you believe it!” eddie exclaimed, his arms swinging out dramatically. his guitar slumped against his hips and made a screeching sound with the movement that made gareth’s ears ring.

“what now?” he said, sitting down behind his drum kit and taking a sip of the soda he just went to get.

“eddie was just wingeing-“ grant started.

“i was not wingeing!” eddie pointed a stern finger at him and continued plugging his guitar into the amp.

“complaining, then…?” jeff asked with a shrug, and when eddie didn’t protest that, he turned to gareth to explain, “eddie was just complaining about that chick at the hideout last night.”

“oh, the goth girl?” gareth asked, swallowing the lump in his throat. he was trying his best to stay calm, keep his composure, but he just can’t help but feel a little (insanely a lot) jealous right now. “cool… uh… what about her? did- was she not good, or-“

“eddie wouldn’t know.” grant snickered, and gareth flicked his eyes over to him cautiously.

“no?” he asked, treading carefully. “i thought you were going to take her home, man?”

yes, add “man” on the end to make it seem like friendly bro conversation and not like you’re trying to figure out how to navigate your jealousy and conceal your super secret sappy feelings for your bestest friend in the whole world.

“i was planning on it.” eddie sighed, stretching his back out, “i thought she was eye fucking me the whole time we were on stage, but she wasn’t, apparently.”

thank fuck, thank fuck, thank fuck, thank fucking fuck!

“oh.” gareth muttered, nodding his head slowly, playing it super cool.

“yeah…” eddie poked his tongue out, popping his hips to the side, “really cool.”

eddie was making a face at him that gareth knows means that eddie has experienced a minor inconvenience and he thinks it’s gareth’s fault. only, gareth doesn’t know why he’s making that face right now.

“super cool, because it was you she was ogling all night.”

oh. whoops?

“oh, erm… sorry?”

eddie burst out laughing and shook his head with a smile, “nah, don’t sweat it, dude. i’m sorry i tried to take your girl. maybe one of us could have lost our virginities after all, if we’d just payed a little more attention.”

yeah, no. that wouldn’t have happened, even if gareth noticed the cool goth girl looking at him. he only has eyes for eddie these days.

super hot fucking eddie, who’s stretching his arms above his head, letting his shirt ride up and show a delicious slither of silver skin that gareth wants to bite.

“i’m no even bothered by that.” eddie sighed, “i don’t care if she’s not into me. i don’t wanna lose my v-card to some random chick who’s not that into me, you know? i want a connection, at least.”

“fair enough.” jeff nodded, tuning up his guitar.

“so why are you wingeing about it then?” grant asked, always so kind he is. not. gareth laughed and double tapped his sticks on the snare as he watched eddie send their friend a mean glare.

“i’m not wingeing!”

“kinda were.” jeff muttered under his breath.

eddie turned his mean glare over to jeff and said, “what was that?”

“okay!” gareth butt in, slamming his foot down on the bass pedal to get their attention, “enough petty squabbling.”

eddie poked his tongue out at gareth and started to tune his guitar too, “whatever you say, gearbear.”

“shut the fuck up.” gareth groaned, rolling his eyes dramatically and hoping no one notices how badly that nickname makes him blush.

every fucking time!

“okay, but the bad part.” eddie tutted, eyeing the room as he listened to the note he was plucking for a moment. once he had it tuned right, he clapped his hands together, “the bad part- she was so mean for no reason, dudes!”

“oh no.” grant said, monotonous. gareth and jeff snickered under their breaths at his sarcasm. “she hurt your feelings. somebody call the waaa-mbulance.”

eddie glared at him for a moment, slowly leant over and picked up his jacket off the floor and chucked it at grant with full force. grant shrieked and jumped back with impact, and they all burst out laughing.

“guys, come on!” jeff said eventually, taking a few breaths to calm down, “we have to practice. eddie, finish your story, hurry up!”

“fine, mom!” he groaned and folded his arms over his chest. he looked over to gareth and broke out into a mischievous grin, and gareth shook his head at him and tried not to giggle. “basically, she just said a bunch of unnecessarily mean shit. like she called my sweetheart ‘kinda average’!”

“what!” gareth shreked, the other two boys joining in.

it was one thing to reject a guy in a dive bar, but it was another to call his most prized possession ‘kinda average’ when it’s clearly a work of art.

maybe gareth’s a little bias… but still. eddie’s axe is clearly fucking cool as shit.

“i know.” eddie fake sobbed, bringing the neck of his guitar up to his face to give it a little kiss as he stroked the strings, “it’s okay sweetheart. that girl was just delusional. you’re so beautiful.”

“wow, we’ve already reached the part in rehersal where eddie has uncomfortable chemistry with his guitar, and we’re only ten minuets in.” grant said, pointing over at eddie, “i think this is a new record. i think eddie and that inanimate object are going to need some privacy guys.”

“i think eddie needs a relationship, actually.” jeff countered with a laugh.

“hey!” eddie pressed a hand to his chest in mock offence.

“i will litteraly pay any of you all the money i have right now to go hold eddie’s hand for three seconds and temporarily cure his touch starvedness.” grant sighed.

“you guys are so mean!” eddie pouted his lip.

“i’ll risk it.” jeff sighed, “for all your money, i’ll risk eddie falling dramatically in love with me-“

“fuck off!” eddie kicked his foot out to knock jeff’s knee, “you’re nothing but a bunch of bullies… gareth, you still love me right?”

more than you know.

“that’s up for debate.” gareth shrugged.

eddie struck his hands over his chest and stumbled backwards into the wall, gasping for air as he slid his back down if and played dead.

“drama queen.” grant muttered.

“dude, get up.” jeff laughed, tossing his pic at eddie’s head, “are you done rambling about your failed attempt to pick up a chick? can we practice now?”

“no.” eddie grinned, jumping to his feet, “you know i need a good half hour of meaningless conversation before we jam.”

“you’re so lame.” jeff muttered, “give me my pick.” he said, starching it back from eddie.

“ooo! fiesty.” he giggled.

“come on, what else?” gareth asked, because he wants to know everything. he knows eddie will give him the full, over detailed recap later, but he’d rather have his conscience fully eased right now, rather than later.

“okay, you wanna know what else she said that just… like, why would she feel the need to say that?”

“what?” grant asked, “did she comment on the obvious chemistry between you and your guitar and not want to get in the way-“

eddie flipped him off and rolled his eyes, looking at gareth with a shake of his head, “no. she said, out of the fucking blue, ‘you’re litteraly like, one of the most unattractive guys i know’.”

oh, what the fuck? that was bullshit!

“and look, i know i’m not a particularly pretty guy-“

bullshit.

“dude.” gareth scoffed, and immediately regretted it. he cleared his throat and composed himself as the other three looked at him weirdly, “ah, mums been on my case about… talking down on myself and stuff so…” not a complete lie.

“oh, right.” eddie nodded and shook that off, “anyway, who cares if i’m good looking or not? you don’t just say that! if i said that to a guy i’d get smacked!”

grant laughed, “that’d be funny, i’d pay to see that.”

“dude!” eddie glared at him, trying not to laugh, “but that was so rude of her, right?”

“you seem very upset about this, munson.” jeff quirked an eyebrow.

“well…” eddie wabbled his head, pulling a wry face.

“come on, guys, it’s obvious what’s going on here.” grant sighed, popping his hip to the side as he leant on his bass, “eddie’s fishing for compliments.”

“oh my god.” he groaned, sinking down into a crouch and pulling his hair over his face, “no.”

jeff snickered, “awwww, you wanna be told she was wrong, eddie?”

“shut up, that’s not what’s happening.”

“kinda sounds like it is.” gareth muttered around a laugh.

“i thought you were on my side, garebear.” eddie peaked an eye out at him.

“i said that’s up for debate.” he shrugged.

“eddie wants to be flirted with.” grant laughed, “let’s go around and tell eddie just how lovely he looks today.”

eddie groaned very loudly.

“if i tell you you’re beautiful, will you shut up and let us practice?”

eddie rolled his eyes, “i guess.”

“okay then.” jeff nodded, turing his attention fully on eddie, “munson, you look very beautiful today.”

eddie groaned and sunk further onto the floor, pulling more hair over his face.

“i think you’re very nice on the eyes.” grant snickered, “a real good looking young man.”

“i want the ground to swallow me whole.” eddie muttered, laying flat on his back like a starfish, his hair a mess over his face and his cheeks visibly bright red through the gaps.

gareth laughed so brightly. everything eddie does makes him laugh, and apart from that, jeff and grant are making this very humorous for gareth.

“go on, g.” grant said with a smirk, “give eddie a compliment. we all know he likes everything you say best.”

gareth’s insides coiled. eddie didn’t even protest that, he just flipped grant the bird again.

what could gareth say without sounding like he was desperately in love with the man?

you’re the most handsome man i’ve ever seen?

the way your hair cascades around your face reminds me of that waterfall we found when we were kids, and that was the first day i ever thought about kissing you.

your so fucking hot i just want to rip your clothes off and lick every inch of your body?

you have the softest looking lips i’ve ever seen, they alone are so fucking beautiful.

okay so they were all useless.

“come on, dude.” jeff tapped his foot, “i want to practice.”

gareth wracked his brain again.

you’re smile is my favourite thing to look at, every time i see it, i feel every worry i have drift away. i wish i could make that smile last eternity.

you’re so devastatingly pretty, it makes me want to cry.

every time i look at you i thank every god known to man, because only the highest diety could have crafted something as perfect as you.

i could stare into your eyes forever, they’re my favourite place to be.

when you look at me with that soft smile of yours, i have to stop myself from kissing you because it’s the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen.

“what?” eddie poked his head up, holding a clump of hair out of his eyes, his whole face red now, along with his neck.

“what?” gareth asked, panic rising. his heart jumped into his throat because… shit. he said that last one out loud, didn’t he?

the room was dead silent.

grant turning to snicker is what started to break the tension. they all turned to him and he burst out laughing.

“uhm…” gareth muttered, licking his dry lips, his brain working on overdrive in an attempt to fix this, but nothing was working, “i was joking.”

“oh.” eddie muttered, and swallowed, and sat up cross legged, staring at gareth.

“dude!” grant groaned, “we all know you’re not joking.”

“what?” both gareth and eddie turned to him with widened eyes.

“come on.” grant scoffed, looking at eddie now, “you seriously don’t notice the way he drools at you? you wonder why he didn’t notice that goth girl looking at him last night, well it was because he was looking at you!”

“thank you so much, grant.” gareth muttered sarcastically under his breath.

“you’re welcome.” he grinned, giggling to himself.

“gare…” eddie muttered.

gareth wanted to cry.

“jesus.” jeff sighed, taking his guitar off his shoulder, “we’re never gonna practice now.”

“i’m sorry.” gareth muttered, his cheeks hot. he felt his eyes starting to sting now.

“g… a word?” eddie mumbled, jumping to his feet.

shit.

“mhm.” he nodded, following eddie out of the garage and into the hallway, where the door was shut behind them, and they were left to their lonesome in the dark, quiet hallway

eddie was standing so close.

“you want to kiss me?” eddie asked with a confused lilt, “wait, no… you think i’m beau- the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”

“i’m sorry!” gareth burst out, “i just, fuck!”

well, it’s now or never, he guessed.

“look, i’m sorry, okay? i know it’s weird, but i’ve liked you for years, dude. so fucking long, and it’s just been a childish crush for a while, it was deal-withable for the most part. but this last year or so… i can’t ignore it anymore!” gareth sighed, swinging his arms out dramatically like eddie often does, “you consume my every waking thought, eddie. i love you.”

he also did not mean to say that last bit.

damn it, what that fuck was in his soda?

“you love me?” eddie muttered, and he sounded almost sad as he said it.

“yeah.” gareth groaned, rubbing his eyes, “this is so embarrassing.”

“it’s not embarrassing.” eddie whispered, pulling his wrists away from his face. gareth looked up at eddie, his skin tingling where eddie’s thumbs were stroking the backs of his wrists as he smiled. that soft one, the one gareth blurted out about loving so much, “it’s not embarrassing, i promise.”

“it is.” gareth whined, tipping his head back and thumping it against the wall behind him.

“it’s not.” eddie laughed softly and stepped a little closer, “i didn’t know you felt that way, garebear.”

“well,” gareth sighed, “i do everything i can to hide my feelings… for obvious, embarrassing reasons.”

eddie probably thinks he’s so gross now. they sleep next to eachother in their underwear at least once a week! what if eddie thinks he’s some perv? shit.

“same.” eddie muttered, giggling to himself as his cheeks tinted pink again, “me too, gareth. it’s okay, i get it.”

huh?

“what do you mean… ‘same’?”

“i’ve done everything in my power, since that time we found that waterfall…” eddie grinned and shrugged, “to hide my feelings for you too.”

gareth’s heart stopped.

he genuinely thinks he might faint.

he must have been silently staring at eddie for an obscene amount of time because eddie’s brow creased (he looks so cute like that) and he grabbed gareth by the shoulders and gave him a little shake.

“earth to garebear?” eddie questioned, his tone nervous, “didn’t lose ya, did i?”

“i’m here…” gareth muttered, “just… processing. uhm… you like me?”

eddie smiled, looking so fucking pretty as he did, “i love you, actually.”

“oh.” was all he could get out, but his insides were screaming.

holy shit eddie loves him.

eddie chuckled softly and smiled, “do you think… do you think it’d be okay if i kissed you?”

“yes please.” he didn’t hesitate to answer then, reaching up to grab eddie by the collar of his shirt and pull him in.

eddie’s lips are just as soft as he thought they’d be. pillowy and perfect. he tastes sweet too, like lemonade and toothpaste and a little hint of cigarettes. eddie held gareth close, as they kissed in his hallway, his hands on his hips and pulling him in closer.

this was everything gareth has wanted for so long, he’s feeling a little giddy from it.

eddie pulled back to catch his breath, but he didn’t pull away far. their noses bumped together and they both laughed at themselves.

“i just kissed my best friend.” eddie muttered, “crazy.”

gareth smiled, “i’m so glad that goth chick was mean to you last night.”

eddie bust out laughing and shook his head at gareth, “you know what? believe it or not, i am too.”

“good.” gareth grinned and wrapped his arms over eddie’s shoulders, “i want to kiss you again.”

“me too.” eddie muttered, and leant back in.

they kissed a while longer, gareth’s fingers reaching up and sifting through eddie’s mane, his curls softer than they usually were. gareth was pressed up against the wall with eddie crouding him in, and they were getting a little desperate with it, pressing further and further into eachother.

kissing eddie was intoxicating. the best fucking thing gareth’s ever done, he thinks. he doesn’t want to ever stop.

but of course he had too, when jeff and grant pried open the door and stepped in with a camera. the bright flash made both eddie and gareth squint and look away, clinging onto eachother with the shock.

“ha ha!” grant giggled, grabbing the polaroid as it printed out, “caught in the act.”

“i wanna shake it.” jeff said, snatching the picture from grant.

gareth and eddie relaxed, awkwardly stepping away from one another with pink cheeks and unwipeable grins.

“ew…” grant muttered, leaning over jeff’s shoulder to look at what was showing up of the picture, “don’t you guys remember that bible retreat we went on in middle school? there’s no room for jesus in there!”

“oh my fucking god.” gareth groaned, walking over and snatching the picture from them. it was only half developed, but it made gareth blush more.

eddie was pressing him up against the wall, one hand on his hip and the other on the wall by gareth’s head. and gareth hadn’t even realised he lifted a leg to hook around one of eddie’s to pull him in closer.

embarrassing.

eddie tried to get a peak, but gareth snatched it away and shoved it deep in his pocket, “i’m burning this.” he’s not, it’s going under his pillow.

“aww, boo!” jeff sneered.

“you suck, gareth.” grant gave him the thumbs down.

eddie leant in very close and muttered, “please can i see?”

“later.” gareth whispered, very very embarrassed.

“okay, now that that’s out of the way-“ jeff started.

“what do you mean, ‘now that that’s out of the way’?” grant asked, very dramatically, “i’d say this is the best day of our lives, jeff.”

“and why’s that?” jeff asked with a heavy, unimpressed sigh.

“because now eddie…” he pointed at eddie, “is now with gareth, and so we don’t have to listen to him wingeing about how mean people reject him anymore.”

“oh, you’re right. horah.” jeff said, barely any excitement in his tone, “can we practice now?”

“yeah.” grant mumbled, already walking back into the garage, “come on.”

jeff followed him out.

gareth looked over to eddie nervously beside him. eddie grinned and wrapped his arm around gareth’s waist to pull him along as he walked.

“you heard em, we’ve got practice.”

gareth grinned and rolled his eyes, “you expect me to be able to concentrate now?”

eddie grinned, a mischievous one that had butterflies erupting in gareth’s stomach, “i’ll make it worth your while…”

gareth grinned and shoved eddie’s face away, “ah huh, says the guy who just had his second make out session ever.”

eddie punched his arm, “not like you’re much better.”

gareth smiled and giggled softly. he stopped at the door way, the door barely open. he turned to eddie with an inquisitive, nervous smile.

“so… does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?”

eddie stuck his hands in his front pockets and bounced on his toes, something he often does when nervous. gareth’s always found it adorable.

“well… do you want me to be your boyfriend?”

gareth furrowed his brow, “obviously.”

eddie chuckled and nodded his head, “then, yeah… yeah, i’m your boyfriend.”

“cool…” gareth tried to play it cool, but he couldn’t contain his giddiness, “boyfriend.”

eddie downright giggled like a lovesick schoolboy.

he leant down and pressed a quick kiss to gareths lips before pushing him back through the door.

“finally!” jeff exclaimed with a huff.

“okay, let’s make this quick, boys.” eddie said, walking over to his guitar with a grin, “i’ve got a boyfriend to make out with and i’ll wait no longer than an hour-“

“no.” grant whined, turning to gareth with a mean glare, “no! now he’s going to be insufferably gross and romantic. what have you done?”

gareth grinned and looked over to eddie, “i got myself the prettiest boyfriend anyone could ever have.”

**

i wrote this between 4.30-6.30 am when i should have been sleeping but couldn’t because am sick and can’t sleep. i had gareth & eddie brainrott and can’t find much about them on tumblr because everyone here sucks and doesn’t adore these two like i do.

anyway, please interact with this if you’re a geddie shipper (idk if that’s what they’re called - there’s not enough people on this train for me to know the common ship name, i just made this up one day) so i know where the cool people are at and so i can stalk your pages for more gareth and eddie content. thanks <3

i hope this is okay, lol, as i said. i was sleep deprived and sick and brainrotting.

don’t forget to reblog! and commentary is always appreciated and i love to respond to it <3

[be-your-coffee-pot]

Hiiii love could you maybe do a Harry one shot where the readers a diabetic and when she’s out one day there’s a toxic fan saying stuff to her like “Harry shouldn’t have to take care of you” and “Harry shouldn’t be dating a disabled person” and stuff like that? I’m a diabetic and I get really insecure sometimes if you don’t want to it’s fine hope you have a good day/night :)

A/N: Alright babe I tried my best and I don't know a lot about the problem so I just winged it with Google I'm sorry if there are any inaccuracies. Also you don't need to get insecure darling, diseases happen they don't define who you are. Besides Harry has asthma doubt he's one to judge

Pairing: Harry Styles x reader

Word Count: Close to 1k

TW: None except curse words and talks about diabetes

My eyes droop as I finish washing my hands in the mall toilet. Even though I’ve just been out shopping for an hour, I feel like I could drop dead any second now. I was in a reasonably good state when I woke up today, so I decided to go out and treat myself to a day of shopping which is turning out to not be such a good idea. Besides the fatigue and weakness, my day has been pretty great. I slightly stumble out of the bathroom with a blurry vision, apologising to the woman I bumped into. 

Fucking diabetes. It's been years since I was diagnosed, but it most definitely hasn’t been easy. The constant tiredness, mood swings and all are just a bit more manageable with Harry, who’s unfortunately not here with me today. My boyfriend of 3 years is in LA and won’t be returning for another week, so here I am trying to occupy myself. 

I’m waiting for my coffee in the food court when I hear them, these two girls pointing and whispering at me like I didn’t notice. I paid them no mind and instead sat down quickly, gulping from my water bottle. 

They’re just a couple of tables back, and somehow, through all the bustle of the floor, I can hear them clearly. 

“Isn’t that Harry’s girlfriend? Jesus, look at her.” “Yeah, like she’s all bones.” They snicker to themselves at that comment as tears sheen over my eyes. 

“I heard she’s a diabetic. Can you believe it? A fucking diabetic, and Harry Styles is with her.” “Proper burden she must be. My gran had diabetes; it was so hard to take care of her. Imagine how much poor Harry must be struggling.” “He’s so perfect. Why the fuck is he even dating a disabled person?” With that, I shakily get up and rush out of the door. Screw the damn coffee. 

Having other people confirm my fears, just how much trouble I was to someone I loved dearly, hurt, to say the least. I knew better than to get caught up in the words of 2 teenage girls who knew jack shit about me, but that, mixed with my rising insecurities, was affecting me badly without Harry. He wouldn’t have let them get to me if he was here. But he wasn’t.

As I sit in my car, tears have started to go down my face. My unsteady hands dial Harry’s number, which rings until it goes to voicemail. I keep trying, but it keeps going to voicemail. Great, he isn't even picking up my phone. Did he suddenly realise how much of a burden I was?

I couldn’t watch a movie with Harry properly because of having to go to the toilet repeatedly, always having to carry a water bottle around, couldn’t go anywhere without insulin, I was constantly losing more weight than I needed to, always weak and tired. What more reason does somebody need to stop tolerating me?

Trying my best to hold myself together until I reach home, I practice everything Harry taught me to reduce my chances of having an anxiety attack. That’ll just tire me out more. 

Once I pull up to the driveway, I race inside, giving no fucks about the bags in the car. My body collapses onto the sofa in the living room, heaving with thick sobs. 

Why do their words hurt so much? They shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be so weak, I should be strong enough to pay them no mind, but I’m not. 

I don’t hear the front door opening or the bags dropping on the floor as I cry. I don’t register him until his tattooed arms are wrapped around my trembling frame, and his smooth voice is whispering in my ears. 

Harry tugs me onto his lap, completely enveloping me with his warmth. 

“Hey mi amore, what’s wrong, hmm? Why’s my sweet girl crying like this? Came home early to surprise you, and you surprised me instead.” 

I giggle softly at him as the waterworks gradually cease.

Harry’s green eyes peer at me fondly but sternly enough to tell me I’m not getting out of this by saying ‘nothing’, but I know he’s not gonna push me too much if I don’t want to talk about it. He understands I have trouble opening up and talking about my feeling. It’s been three years, and I just love him more for it every day.

I sniffle into his sweater, quietly breathing him in. 

“I-I went to the mall today for some shopping. I was bored, so I thought, why not.” He gently smiles at me as an encouragement to continue. “It was good. It was pretty good except a few things, the tiredness and all you know. I went up to the food court to get a coffee, and there were these two girls a couple tables back. They were talking. Said you shouldn’t have to date a disabled person like me and that you shouldn’t be obliged to take care of me and all my burdens-” 

“You didn’t believe them, did you, sunflower?” 

A finger tilts my chin to look him in the eyes when I don’t answer

“Baby it's for me to decide what I should or shouldn’t do and loving you’s my antidote, lovie. Wouldn’t give that for the world.”

“You’re gonna make me cry now.” 

Harry just laughs and tucks me into himself further.

“A disease you have doesn’t define you who are, darling. Besides those are happy tears aren’t they?”

[cookii-moon]

I think the Ice demon is putting ninjago adt in ai and then post that

When I made the post it was 100% just straight up stolen artwork.

Ai can sometimes include chopped up watermarks from the pieces it’s using to “learn”, but if you look at the watermarks in the art they were posting, they weren’t cropped or chopped up at all, and if you followed the watermarks to the user you could find the same exact art piece on the original artists account.

After they were called out for art theft, they tried to delete all the artworks with noticeable watermarks (though some were left). But the consistency at which they were posting and their history of art theft + the consistent art style just makes me think they were still stealing, they just realized they had to be more careful so they shifted focus to artists who don’t have noticeable watermarks, meaning you couldn’t follow it back to the user, so unless somebody knew the artist and recognized their work, they couldn’t get caught.

As for right now, I’m not sure. They blocked me after I refused to take down the post, so I can’t see what they’re doing right now. Could be AI, could just be them stealing from artists who don’t have noticeable watermarks again, I don’t really know since I can’t see the art theft in question.

I don’t think posting AI art goes against any rules, it’s just that a lot of people dislike it due to the ethics involved with AI art. I don’t like AI art myself, but I’d say it’s at least better than blatant art theft.

Though If they wanted to make an art blog, I think they’d be better off just making the art themselves instead of stealing and lying about it or using AI. Even just ignoring the ethics side of things, from what I’ve seen AI isn’t exactly popular here and rarely gets any interaction. Can’t see why. /sarc

But yeah, I can’t say anything on what they’re doing right now or if they’re posting AI since I can’t see the art in question, sorry!

[eleni-cherie]

lonely hearts club ✨ || kth au - chapter 1.2

“lonely hearts club // do you want to be with somebody like me?”

maybe single parents are meant to be members of the lonely hearts club.

»»»

masterlist: here

— genre: single parents au, romcom, humour, fluff, angst, strangers to friends to lovers s2f2l

»»»

"Higher."

"Like this?"

"A bit more."

"Now?"

"A little bit more."

"If I stretch myself more I'm gonna fall," Hoseok whined. Arms already hurting from holding the garland up all this time. "I'm sure it was high enough here," he said then, lowering his hand and steadying himself on the metallic ladder.

Taehyung became sulky, Hoseok could tell, but he eventually nodded. "Okay, hang it there," he agreed with a nod. It wasn't his friend's fault. He simply wanted everything to be as great as possible for Ari's party. He knew perfection could never be reached and some chaos was meant to take place. Especially with his friends attending. But at least when it came to the overall appearance he wanted it to be perfect for her.

It was irrational in a way. She was still a baby and wouldn't remember anything. Let alone understand it. However, considering her actual parents weren't able to prepare this party for her or even be present for their daughter's first birthday, he wanted to at least give her the best party possible. Even when she wouldn't remember it.

Hoseok climbing down the stairs interrupted his train of thoughts. Both inspecting their work of half an hour. "I'd say not bad," the older guy patted his shoulder. Beaming with joy. "I especially like those paper flowers on the curtains. They're cute."

Taehyung nodded in agreement. Satisfied with the result as well. The living room covered in pink and purple garlands, balloons and flowers.

"Let's see if the birthday girl likes it as well," Hoseok said then and went to pick up Ari from where she was crawling around her play yard. "So, what do you think?" he cooed while carrying her to his previous spot. "You like it?"

Ari was just staring at him, grabbing his cheeks then with a giggle. While she seemed to like all his friends, Hoseok had to be her favourite one. Maybe because he was always beaming and smiling widely when holding her. "Not me, the decoration. Look what your dad and I did for you," he laughed. Not noticing Taehyung's expression falling. "I-I forgot something," he quickly mumbled then and left the two in the living room. Once he was in the kitchen, he dragged out the breath he was holding.

In a way, he appreciated his friends seeing him as Ari's dad. But truth was he wasn't. He knew and felt that. And it broke his heart a little when knowing he could love and care for her as much as he could and it would still not be enough. Inhaling deeply, he took a look around. Everything was ready. Only the cake was missing, which Jimin was supposed to pick up.

Sliding his phone out from his pants' pocket, he decided to check on him.

Tae (5:26pm): did you get the cake?

chim (5:28pm): just wanted to call you

chim (5:28pm): i don't think I can make it in time

chim (5:29pm): im running late & traffic is wild

Tae (5:29pm): are you serious now? D:

chim (5:31pm): im sorry :(

chim (5:32pm): maybe one of the others can pick it up??

He ran a hand through his waves, biting down on his lip as he went over to their groupchat, asking if anyone else could take care of it. However, since everyone lived even further away.

"Well, fck," Hoseok yelled from the living room, having read the messages. "Should I quickly go grab it?"

"Not sure if you'd make it in time," he sighed frustrated. Remembering someone else then. Someone who lived close by the conditory. And after quickly dialing the number, he pressed the phone against his ear. Anxiously waiting for her to pick up.

"Yeah, hello?"

"Cassandra? Hey."

"Hey, Tae." She was audibly smiling from the other line.

"Could you do me a huge favour? I know it's too much to ask but no one can pick up Ari's cake an-"

"What's the address?"

He smiled at her interrupting. "It's the conditory in the mall. The cake is under my name and already paid."

"Alright, I'll go get it now." A huge weight left his shoulders when hearing her words.

"You're my savior, Cas. I owe you."

"You really don't," she giggled, "We'll be there soon." And with that she hung up. Relieved, he returned to the living room seeing Hoseok sitting on the carpet with Ari. Building a tower from her wooden bricks with her. Looking up when noticing Taehyung's presence. Anticipation in his eyes. "So? What about the cake?"

"Cassandra is picking it up," he explained. Noticing Hoseok's eyebrows raising in a surprised manner when hearing her name. "Your friend from daycare?" He sounded slightly irritated, however, Taehyung chose to ignore it and simply hummed. "So she's coming, too?"

"Uh, yeah." Letting himself plop down on the couch, Taehyung rubbed his tired eyes. All the preparations had exhausted him. He only hoped everything would go smoothly from now on.

"Huh." He faced the baby in front of him who was about to push and destroy the colourful tower he had built. "You'll get your cake!" he grinned at her.

She obviously didn't understand what was going on, but still clapped her hands happily. Hoseok's cheery voice having that effect on her. And Taehyung observed her with a fond look.

It had been worth it after all. For her.

»»»

"Where do you know each other from?"

Cassandra perked up from the plate with pralines in front of her. She had eaten at least three already and couldn't seem to stop.

To say she had been hiding in the kitchen would be an exaggeration. Because she didn't. At least not intentionally. However, the living room had been quite packed with people. Especially when she felt like an outsider.

Sure, everyone was incredibly nice and welcoming, but it was still too packed and too loud and some seemed equally as socially awkward as her. Which in a way was comforting, but also made things difficult. It wasn't anything uncommon for her though. It hadn't been any different at her own family gatherings. Twelve people in a medium-sized apartment were too much. Whether it was her aunt's birthday last month or Ari's birthday righ now. Much to her surprise, however, the other two 'outsiders' of the group, Seokjin's wife and Yoongi's girlfriend, had joined her in the kitchen. So she wasn't sitting there totally alone, like the loser she sometimes felt like.

"The daycare," Cassandra eventually answered Yongsun's question. "We both take our kids to the same one." She saw the older girl nod to herself, plopping another grape to her mouth.

Yongsun was fascinating to Cassandra. She was probably one of the most beautiful women she had seen in real life. And still, when she laughed she was reminiscent of a cute cartoon character. And considering the way her husband looked like, it was no surprise. The two must've been the best-looking couple she had ever laid eyes on. Even if they didn't actually behave like it or how someone would expect it. Both being rather loud and joking a lot.

The younger woman could still not quite believe they were parents of three-year-old twins since they both looked so young but apparently were over thirty. Cassandra almost choked at that thought. She had a baby face herself, people not believing she'd be a twenty-seven year old mum. However, the genes Yongsun and Seokjin had passed to their children must have been a genetical fountain of youth.

Soyeon was also quite beautiful, Cassandra had noted. She had a cool, almost fierce aura and with her cat-like eyes she could intimidate someone, despite her height. Although that didn't seem to suit her actual personality at all. She was quite cheeky and friendly. Similar to her boyfriend. Cassandra thought they also made a very interesting and good-looking couple.

All of Taehyung's friends were attractive and Cassandra felt so out-of-place. Even if she never had a total low self-esteem and did consider herself somewhat cute, being in a room with so many handsome men -and the two pretty women- made her nervous. Perhaps another reason why she had relocated to the kitchen.

Nevertheless, she did find it nice of Soyeon and Yongsun to keep her company. Even if they themselves seemed to be a little shy and socially awkward just like her. Making the whole situation quite ridiculous. Like the beginning of a joke. "Three introverts sit together in a room.."

Although the two looked quite familiar and comfortable with each other, which was no surprise since they must've known each other for years, adding Cassandra, basically a stranger, brought their own awkward personalities out. And she didn't like that. She didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable.

So she decided to easen the situation for them. "How about you guys? H-how did you two meet?"

Yongsun peeked at Soyeon next to her with a small smile. "We two met at a birthday party. Whose was it again?"

"Wasn't it JK's?"

The older girl nodded. "Yeah, right. It must've been Jungkook's. I remember I was wearing a sweater because of the sudden temperature drop."

Soyeon laughed out at the memory of this. "True. And I found it funny how someone could go to a birthday party with a sweater."

With a shrug, Yongsun leaned over and grabbed another grape from the plate. "I knew the guys wouldn't care. And it wasn't some fancy party anyway."

"Right, right. Rather a chill gathering at a restaurant."

"And weren't you wearing a sweater, too?"

The younger girl gasped, vigorously shaking her head. Her short black waves sliding over her shoulder. "That wasn't a sweater!"

"It looked like one though.."

"It was just a large fit. You know I prefer large fits," Soyeon protested. Flashing a small grin to Cassandra. "I swear it wasn't a sweater." Cassandra giggled at their bickering. Seeing she had been indeed right with them being actually close to each other.

The kitchen door suddenly burst open. None other than Yongsun's husband standing at the frame. Looking at them puzzled. "Why.. why have you all gathered here?" he eventually laughed with furrowed brows, "Are you hiding?"

"Yeah, maybe," Yongsun rolled her eyes playfully, "And has your little game with Jungkookie ended?"

"Woman! You can't just call Mario Kart a 'little game'," he said sulky, "And no it has not. Quick, drop me some grapes before the next round starts."

"Five seconds before I press start!" they heard Jungkook yell from the other room. Making Seokjin seemingly fuzzy. "Grapes, quick!" he demanded and opened his mouth widely. Yongsun groaned. "You could just eat on your own. No need for me to feed you like a baby," she mumbled then half-amused, half-annoyed as she started placing grapes into his mouth. Him munching happily when it was filled. "Tastes much better when you feed me though," he grinned before rushing out at Jungkook's anew warning. She watched him disappear behind the door and shook her head embarrassed.

"When he's with the guys, I feel like taking care of three toddlers, not just two," she giggled awkwardly. Seeing Cassandra and Soyeon giggling along with her. "He and JK surely share a braincell sometimes," Soyeon added.

"It's funny though," Cassandra smiled then, "And you two really look lovely together."

Yongsun pursed her lips, blushing. "Thanks. It's still a little awkward when he does that in front of others though. Thankfully not in public, but still.." An affectionate smile spreading over her red lips then as her gaze fell onto the grapes. "But I've almost got used to this."

They heard Seokjin's outcry then, clearly having lost that round to the younger guy. And Yongsun sighed, knowing she'd have to listen to his rant about their game on their way home later.

"I feel you though," Soyeon spoke up then, "If Yoongs did anything like that in front of others, I'd probably die."

"I think he'd die himself," Yongsun giggled.

"True," Soyeon laughed under her breath. Agreeing with Yongsun. Yoongi would indeed rather die than ever have her feed him in front of anyone. "He does cute things, though," she said then, before taking a sip from her drink, "Just not in public. Except holding hands."

"I'm almost envious of you guys." Cassandra mumbled then. Giving them an apologetic smile before taking another praline and placing it into her mouth.

The two other women exchanged a glance before Soyeon's lips parted. Sensing a shift in mood in her tone. "Why? Aren't you and Izzy's dad -"

"Oh, god, no. We aren't together," she laughed dryly, "We were just.. sleeping with each other."

Both their lips shaping a small 'oh' and Cassandra quickly waved her hands. "No, no. It's alright. I'm sorry for even bringing this up and ruining the mood."

"Don't say that," Yongsun said with an encouraging smile, "And you don't necessarily need a man anyway." Cassandra nodded, thankful for her words. The door opened once again, startling the three. Eyes round when staring at Taehyung who seemed equally startled as them. "W-what are you doing here?"

Soyeon shrugged with a sly grin. "Nothing. Just gossiping about you guys." He nervously laughed under his breath. With Soyeon he could never be entirely sure if she was only messing with someone or if she actually meant it. "Ah, really? Don't wanna disturb you then."

Grabbing a bottle opener when stopping in his tracks. Noticing Cassandra staring at her daughter in his arms with wide eyes. And he realised she must be surprised. "Oh sorry, she was a bit whiny and I figured out she just wanted someone to hold her," he explained, smiling at the baby who was gripping his shirt and looking at him with big eyes.

She nodded slowly, remembering Isavella's new habit of getting attention. And yet, she was stunned. The sight of him carrying her baby so casually in his arms being a sight she could get used to. But before she could even thank him and take her, he had already rushed out. Leaving them alone again.

Soyeon noticed her eyes lingering on the door and giggled. "At least you still got Taehyung if you can't find anyone else." She was expecting to hear a laugh or joking reaction. However, much to her surprise, the curly-haired girl only pursed her lips. Looking away shyly. "Ehm y-yes, right," she laughed out. And for a moment Soyeon bought it. But only for a moment. She had only been joking but it looked like she had hit a nerve. "Cassandra, could it be that you like him?"

The young woman remained silent. Fumbling with her fingers under the table.

She liked him, didn't see?

It was quite obvious she did and that it wasn't just some small, superficial crush like she had thought first. And that right from the beginning, like the fool she was. However, she would surely not admit that to his best friends' partners.

"Maybe I have a tiny crush on him," she quietly said then. Feeling like a teenager all over again. Cheeks burning when speaking it out loud for the first time. "But it's nothing special, really. And he's busy with Ari anyway. And I don't even think I'd be his type.. So it's all good. I'm content with just being friends with him."

"Sounds like lots of excuses to me," Soyeon countered, arching a brow.

"To me it sounds like you're actually head over heels for him," Yongsun grinned widely, leaning over the table. Cassandra's plan of acting casual and not letting them find out obviously having failed. "I get it in a way though. He's a handsome and nice guy." She paused, thinking for a moment. "And sure, I just met you, but you're very pretty, too!" Cassandra mumbled a 'thank you', knowing Yongsun was only trying to be polite. But next to her and Soyeon, she felt like a potato. "I think the main issue might be Taehyungie," Yongsun continued then, "This boy's quite the mystery to me sometimes. I can't even tell you if you're his type or not 'cause I got no clue what he's into. Probably someone like a best friend I guess."

Soyeon nodded agreeing. "He isn't really the flirty type either. Not that Yoongi was but.. I don't know how to explain it. If Yoongi wants something, he doesn't beat around the bush. He's straightforward. Even without flirting. While Taehyung.."

"Yeah, Taehyung never seemed interested in relationships. In all the years I know him, he never seemed crushing on anyone. So honestly, I'm not even sure how he'd show his interest to someone. He's more the buddy type. He likes befriending people instead."

Cassandra sucked in a breath, nodding understanding. So just as she thought. Her chances with Taehyung were zero. Proving again that there wasn't any point in having hope of any type.

"But," Yongsun said then, "This might be the key. Because he isn't friends with any women, as far as I know. Well, except us -" Her index finger wiggling between her and Soyeon. "-but I don't think that counts here. So the fact he calls you a friend and even invited you to the birthday of his daughter, should definitely be a good sign."

"I think so, too," Soyeon agreed, "He's a bit of a strange guy sometimes. Strange in a good way. So maybe.. I don't know.. Maybe he's showing it in a different way."

Cassandra hummed. Taehyung wasn't an ordinary guy, that she agreed with Soyeon. And to her it had always been obvious this was one of the reasons she felt so attracted to him.

The door opened again, interrupting them for the third time. This time Jimin standing there. Eyeing them with a frown. "Here you are!" he exclaimed. His features softening into a smile. "Was wondering where y'all had disappeared to."

"Speaking of flirty," Yongsun giggled then, "Here we got a prime example of flirty attitude."

"You mean me?" The guy looked seemingly taken aback but also flattered. Smiling shyly then, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm not flirty."

"Boy, you look flirty just now."

Yongsun's remark made him burst out laughing. "You're exaggerating a little," he smirked, making Yongsun gasp. Pointing at him frantically. "See, see! Just look at how he smiles now!"

"It's not my fault I got such a cute face," he whined and grabbed a glass from the counter. The initial reason he went to the kitchen for. "Oh, by the way," he faced Cassandra then with a wide smile, "Thanks for picking up the cake for me. I felt awful for not being able to do so, but you saved the party." And Cassandra had to agree with Yongsun.

"Eh, yeah, n-no problem," she quickly said and offered him a smile as well. Watching him disappear into the living room once again.

"You saved Ari's party?" Soyeon smirked then, "If that's not a bonus point-" She was about to say more when she got abruptly interrupted by Seokjin's fretful calling for his wife. "Yong~~! Yong, help! They're trying touching the cake!"

Yongsun dragged a sigh. The twins were obviously acting up again and he had trouble to contain them in bay. So she pushed back the chair and hurried out to help him. Almost bumping into Namjoon who was about to enter the kitchen. He peeked inside, spotting Soyeon and Cassandra there giggling. "We're about to take a photo," he annouced to them, pointing behing him with a dimpled smile. "You coming?"

Soyeon instantly nodded and followed him out. Her boyfriend already pointing to the spot next to him with his chin. Cassandra, however, didn't move. Awkwardly shifting in her seat instead, unsure of whether to follow them or not. They obviously wanted to take a photo with Ari and the cake. And somehow she didn't feel like fitting in there. She might be a friend, but she wasn't one of Taehyung's closest ones like the rest. So being on the photo with them, would probably be weird. A sad sigh escaped her lips.

Why was she always being like this?  Her train of self-pitying thoughts was interrupted when seeing Taehyung standing at the door frame. His prominent brows raising when spotting her there. "Are you coming? We're waiting for you."

»»»

Taehyung closed the door behind the last of his friends. Thankful for the now lasting silence. Even if he loved hanging out with them, it had been quite late by now and he rubbed his tired eyes. Hearing footsteps behind him then.

"We should probably get going, too." He glanced over his shoulder, seeing Cassandra faintly smiling at him. "You're probably drained from the whole evening."

He nodded, yawning. "I'm probably gonna clean the mess in the living room first though." He made his way to the sleeping girls then. Making sure they were covered by the blanket.

"They sleep so peacefully," Cassandra whispered and he sensed her standing beside him.

"Yeah," he whispered back. Glancing at her with a smile as they left the crib behind them. "I-if you want you can stay, you know," he muttered then, scratching the back of his neck. "I mean, it's quite late and not to wake up Izzy now that she sleeps."

Cassandra glanced at him for a moment with narrow eyes. "You just want me to help you clean the mess, don't you?"

He laughed out, biting his lip. "So you noticed," he joked along, "I could use some help after all."

She sighed dramatically, flashing him a smirk then. "Fine. I'm gonna help you, but only 'cause I got a big heart."

"So I owe you again," he chuckled as they went to the living room. Starting picking up empty glasses and dirty napkins. "Why do you think you'd owe me?" she asked, stapling empty plates on one hand. "If anything I owe you for all the times you helped me out."

"I'm glad if I could be of any help," he responded, "But I doubt it was that often."

A soft smile ghosted over her lips as she continued cleaning the coffee table. "It was more than you think."

"I didn't do it for you to owe me though," he frowned and placed the glasses next to the plates.

His voice deep. He almost sounded offended.

"Same goes for me."

"Well then," he said and looked down at her with a soft yet firm expression on his features, "Let's just forget about it. Let's do nice things, without thinking we'd owe the other. Friends do nice things for each other all the time after all."

She gave him a nod, accepting his suggestion. And they returned to tidying up in silence. Slowly cleaning up everything, when Cassandra spoke up again after awhile. "So, any plans for tomorrow?"

"Probably sleep, if Ari let's me," he lightly chuckled, plopping tiredly onto the couch. His gaze laying on the white ceiling above them. "It's kinda weird, you know. How could a year pass already?"

"It sounds so cliché, doesn't it?" Cassandra sighed, understanding exactly what he meant. Taking a seat next to him, she let herself sink into it. "People say time flies and they grow up so fast. But it's the truth." He nodded quietly, not averting his eyes from the ceiling. "I don't want Izzy to grow up," she admitted then and he slightly turned his head, glancing at her. Her eyes held something gloomy in them and he knew instantly why. "It's just.. when she grows older, she'll ask questions. And I don't know if I can answer them."

"You mean about her dad, right?"

She nodded silently. Her expression blank.

His gaze went back to the ceiling. "What am I supposed to tell Ari why her uncle is raising her?"

She looked at him briefly before exhaling deeply. A half-hearted laugh escpaing her lips. "We gotta tell them the truth, don't we? Just in a nice way."

"How am I supposed to make 'your parents died in a car crash' sound nice?" he laughed out sarcastically.

"I don't know. How am I supposed to make 'your dad was a jerk and doesn't even know you exist' sound nice?" They exchanged a glance, breaking into a fit of giggles. "We're quite pathetic."

"But we try our best." He pushed himself off the couch then. Giving her a warm smile. "I can clean the rest alone. Don't worry. You can go home."

"Sounds like you wanna get rid of me," she scoffed jokingly and stood up. Grabbing the bag with torn gift wraps from Ari's birthday presents.

He arched a brow at her as he picked up the plates. "You were the one wanting to go home earlier, weren't you?"

She simply shrugged, dumping the bag next to the entrance door. "Maybe I changed my mind."

He hummed, disappearing in the kitchen. "There's still cake left. You want some?" she heard him ask. Making her blink at his random question. "Really? I thought with so many people nothing but crumbs would be left."

"That's why I ordered an extra big one." He was leaning backwards, peeking his head out from the other room, "So do you want some?"

"Obviously!"

Yeah, maybe being just friends with him was enough.

Even if her heart was telling her otherwise. She wouldn't dare risking it and putting it all at stake. Some day she would surely get over her feelings. And until then she simply had to stay patient and endure it.

»»»

next chapter: 1.3 here

---- small crossover based on my jin and yoongi stories!

[blueeandyellowmakesgreen]

apocalypse byler scenario part 11 but not really byler but heavily implied: mike and nancy talk.

this is a running continuation of my apocalypse scenarios, and this takes place after mike opens up to lucas about getting vecna’d.

after lucas talks in behalf of mike, everyone started to swarm him with worry. in the end, all of them ended up apologizing for not noticing earlier, and even asked about his trauma so they can help.

though mike noticed that nancy wasnt saying anything, and didnt even approach him like the others did. he wanted to think that maybe she was taken aback by the news, not making eye contact with mike or lucas, but mike isnt sure anymore because he doesnt even know his goddamn sister. mike expected this, honestly, he didnt know what their relationship was as siblings anymore.

what? why would i care about you? nancy’s voice in his nightmares start to echo in his head. he felt stupid for wanting to try to open up to her for anything, and the visions served as a good reminder anytime he attempted to. he deserves this.

before everyone’s voices start to clash even more, lucas backed them off and told them to give mike time, much to his appreciation.

so imagine that he received his walkman and started to play his favorite song, he’s asked to be left alone because all the sudden attention and concern was overwhelming to him, even will. he goes and closes the door, and throws himself on his bed, staring at his ceiling as somebody to love by queen plays faintly in the quiet ambience of his dark room. he then hears a loud knock which makes him jump.

‘’goddammit, guys, i said leave me alone!’’

‘’mike, could you please open up? its nancy.’’

that was definitely new for mike. ‘’what do you want?’’

‘’we need to talk.’’

‘’can we please just save this for tomorrow?’’

‘’im serious, mike. just please open up.’’

mike groans loud enough to make sure nancy hears it. he gets up from his bed and lazily opens the door as he gets back to lying down, head buried in his hands. nancy awkwardly stands by. she notices the scattered clothes around his bed and the heaps of trash stacked up on the area of his closet and floor. she wraps her arms around herself and turns to mike. ‘’you okay?’’

‘’yeah, why wouldnt i be?’’ mike says through his hands.

‘’mike, we need to talk about this.’’

‘’there’s nothing to talk about.’’

nancy inhales. ‘’look, i’m just wondering.. why you didnt tell me.’’

‘’there wasnt a right time.’’

‘’mike-‘’

‘’you dont have to pretend to care, alright?’’ mike snaps. ‘’i got my walkman, so you can go.’’ 

nancy was about to leave but stays by the doorand turns her head. 

‘’you think i dont care about you?’’

‘’i dont care about what you think of me.’’

nancy walks back to sit next to mike.

‘’i dont think i told you this, but..he got me too.’’

‘’…he did?’’

‘’yeah.’’

she was fully awake mike wasnt asking but she decides to continue. ‘’i saw barbara…and hawkins. it was torn in half. you, mom, dad, holly, everyone…was suffering. and i couldnt do anything. not for barbara, not for anyone.’’

she inhales before resuming. ‘’i see her face everyday. it reminds me of how i was, and i…hated who i was. who i am. i dont think much has changed. i thought i was doing better, but.. shes always there.’’ 

mike says nothing. 

‘’can i ask what you saw?’’ 

mike continues his streak of staying silent, still not feigning eye contact with nancy.

‘’..yeah. i get it.’’ nancy says, her voice cracking a bit. 

nancy breaks the deafening silence between them as she sighs. ‘’mike, can you at least look at me?’’

it took a while, but mike eventually does as he gets up to meet nancy’s gaze.

‘’’im sorry that i wasnt.. there for you.’’

‘’..you had your own shit, nancy. i dont expect you to babysit me.’’ it was tempted for mike to turn away from her again. he felt way too scrutinized at the moment. 

‘’yeah, but look where that turned out. you clearly had a lot in your mind. and.. we both know mom and dad aren’t the easiest people to talk to.’’ 

mike scoffs at that statement, which makes nancy chuckle.

‘’…and youre my brother,’’ nancy feels herself start to choke up. ‘’youre my little brother, and im supposed to take care of you. god it shouldnt take henry to target you for me to realize that,’’ nancy sniffs and wipes a tear of hers. ‘’im so sorry. but im here now, and i promise you, that ill protect you from him.’’ 

mike opens his mouth to say something, but finds himself at a loss. this really was the last thing he expected, and he finds himself choking up, as much as hes trying to swallow his own tears back. 

‘’and from now on, we’ll tell each other everything.’’

‘’thats what you said last time.’’ mike says, hurt clear on his voice. that was the most vulnerable he’s been that night next to lucas, and he hates himself for opening his goddamn mouth sometimes.

nancy scooches closer to mike’s side and carefully puts her hand on his shoulder. ‘’this time, i mean it.’’ 

before mike could say anything, nancy pulls him for a tight hug. it took a couple of seconds for nancy to quickly pull away, both siblings flustered and taken aback. 

‘’okay, that was of weird.’’ nancy whispers. 

‘’yeah, uh…it was.’’

nancy nods awkwardly, her eyes still glued to the floor and hands fisted on her lap.

‘’i’ll leave you alone.’’ nancy gets up from the bed and reaches for the doorknob. 

‘’nancy.’’

nancy swiftly turns her head to mike with expectant eyes. 

‘’..thanks.’’

she beams at mike, clear relief washing over her, eyes starting to glisten. ‘’get some rest, mike. we’ll talk tomorrow.’’ 

[cyber-dump-171]

Chapter 11: When you come back

Left for Carnage (Twisted Wonderland x Reader)

← Chapter 10 | Masterlist | Chapter 12 →

Word count: 5.1 k.

WARNING: mentions of verbal fight (between the reader and their father), beasts, injuries, blood, scars, cursing, hospital room and IV tube.

Note: I’m really sorry for uploading this late! I started my fourth semester at uni and I had a lot of things to do so this got pushed. I also started publishing this fanfic on Wattpad but I’ll post the link in the afternoon since the Uni Wi-fi blocked the website (I have no idea why xd). Anyways, thank you for your support!

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“(Y/N)! Wake up!”, somebody grasps your shoulders and shakes them harshly. Annoyed, you swat away the hand before turning to your side and snuggling further into your hands that were placed below your head, acting like a pillow.

The atmosphere around you is calm and serene, in the distance, you hear the chirping of birds, and the soft wind that passes through the trees shaking their leaves and branches. The grass you are lying on used to sting and itch you, but now it acts as a comfortable mattress which, together with the warm sunlight, encourages you to continue your deep sleep.

You hear a chuckle come from behind you. "At least sleep under the tree. You'll burn your face if you keep exposing yourself to the sun," you feel the person gently poke your back and take a seat near you. Knowing that he will continue to bother you if you pretend to continue sleeping, you slowly open your eyes and let out a groan as you stretch your limbs.

"Is the party over yet?" a yawn escapes you and you roll onto your side, to find yourself face to face with Sigurd. Your brother shakes his head and points his thumb over his shoulder towards the large garden where you hear the thunderous music and unintelligible cheers of drunk people.

"They've just started. Eline knocked down the whole champagne tower and Uncle Mikaeli got into a fight with Dad. So, things are going great!" you roll your eyes at Sigurd's sarcasm and sit down next to him. "And you? Did you get tired of imagining making out with Émile?", you give him a smirk and watch Sigurd's eyes widen like saucers.

"W-what? N-no, not at all! Svein sent me to tell you that lunch is being served! Also, I don't like Émile!", Sigurd stumbles over his words and crosses his arms with a frown. You let out a laugh, knowing that practically everyone but Sigurd and Émile knew that the two of them had a crush on each other. "Oh yeah, and I'm a vampire," your brother shakes his head with a smirk and gives you a teasing shove, muttering for you to shut up.

The two of you fall back into silence, choosing to observe the nature around you and listen to the ruckus that is happening in the distance. These last few days have been a complete blur for you, a mix of various white dresses, different flavors of the many meals served at the various banquets, greeting relatives whose faces you had never seen before, all while your anxiety and discomfort skyrocketed due to nerves and the number of people that were surrounding you in a very small room.

But you'll be leaving in a few days and even if it's only for a couple of months, you'll be glad you won't see your father's face for a bit. Sigurd turns his head to look at you and you notice he has a somber expression. "Hey... I heard you had a nasty fight with dad today, in the morning... are you okay?" he asks in a soft tone and you cringe as you remember the words that came out of him.

"It was nothing new, just him always blaming me for everything. Only this time, I got fed up and talked back to him and that's why he got mad," you care very little that today was his wedding day to Dorothea. The woman doesn't bring you good vibes after the many dinners you've had with her and you're not exactly excited to have her in the house.

You'll never forgive him for the fact that he also got engaged to her three days after Mom's funeral.

You feel Sigurd lay his head on your shoulder as he lets out a long sigh. The anger you felt previously at the memory of the vile words that came out of your father's mouth fades and you calm down. "...You know, I was so happy when I saw you excited when you got the letter from the guild...what a stupid grin you had on your face, and what was up with your laugh? You sounded like a duck!", rolling your eyes with a smile, you slap him hard on the shoulder and Sigurd lets out a laugh. "Wow, way to ruin the mood, dumbass," you tell him between laughs.

Between laughter and stupid jokes, you forget your anger and sorrows. It's a moment of calm and joy before you must venture back to the garden. Sigurd is the only one who could make your day with just one dumb joke. He is your best friend and brother.

Even though you are only 14 years old, in a few days you will join the guild and participate in the initiation and training program of Herald’s of the Empire together with Yuuken Enma, a childhood friend of yours. Although you have heard terrifying stories about those who are sent to hunt monsters, you are excited since you will dedicate yourself to the observation and documentation of beasts.

A chance to get away from the home that brings only bad memories.

A chance to stop feeling the hateful gaze of your father and the pitying looks of your siblings.

A chance to forget what happened to your mother.

You will miss Sigurd, but you have promised to write to him every week.

You are excited about this new adventure.

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Sigurd, where are you?

I miss you. We miss you.

Please come back home.

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“A parcel arrived for you this morning, (L/N)”, a rectangular-shaped box wrapped in brown manila paper is gently placed in front of you. You move around some of the papers and photos to take a closer look at the address of the package. A smile forms on your face when you recognize the familiar series of numbers and the name of the sender.

You turn to look at the person who has left you the package and give her a small smile. "Thanks for the delivery, Fleurette. Good job today, by the way," the redhead smiles back at you and heads for the door. "Same to you, (L/N)! Don't miss dinner today; the commander decided to be nice to us today and told the cooks to make minestrone!" you let out a quite laugh and say goodbye to the girl, telling her that you'll go eat in a little while.

Fleurette waves goodbye and leaves the cabin, the flimsy wooden door slamming shut and the cabin returns to a calm silence. You watch through the dirty window as the red-haired woman catches up to a group of people and they head towards the mess hall, exchanging laughter and jokes throught the way. You return to your work, typing away at the keyboard and revising your notes as you fill out the long and tedious report.

Afternoon turns to night and with it comes the pouring rain. As thunder rumbles in the distance, you hear your comrades running outside seeking shelter from the rainfall as they scream and curse because they got wet. You even hear a guy laugh out loud when one of his friends falls in the mud and gets his uniform dirty.

And you never went to dinner, too invested in finishing the damn report so you could have some extra time to read before you went to sleep, since the group would be leaving the abandoned village before the sun came up the next day.

You finish typing the last words of the report and let out a happy sigh, taking a quick look to fix any spelling or grammatical mistakes. Satisfied with the final product, you save the file and shut down the computer, tidying up the table and putting everything away into the worn-out satchel that you always carry.

It was handsewed by Svein, who gave it to you the day you got admitted into the guild. He looked really proud.

You walk around the room, stretching your body in hopes of getting rid of the tingling in your extremities. It had been a brutal day, one that started with everyone waking up to a monster raiding the camp and almost killing one of the soldiers since it snuck inside one of the cabins. Thankfully, they managed to avoid the attack and came out with only a few scratches.

The rest of the day was spent trying to take out a massive beast known as an Hodeskalle Knuseren that was terrorising a nearby town. The beast is fast and violent, and they are difficult to kill due to their enormous stature. After hours of battle, the monster was defeated and everyone went back to celebrate, well you didn’t join them, since you went back to your cabin to finish some reports and paperwork.

You finish stretching and let out a yawn as your eyes feel droopy. Yet as you're about to grab the mystery novel that you left half-read, you remember the parcel that was delivered earlier in the afternoon. You take the heavy box and head towards your bed, wanting to be in a more "comfortable" spot. Well, at least the harsh and weathered mattress was way better than the chair full of splinters that every time you move you feel that it was about to break.

You tear at the manila paper to reveal a varnished wooden box. It opens quite easily, since it lacks a latch, and a smile immediately appears on your features once you recognize the items inside.

The dark blue sweater is definitely from Astrid since she was always worried that you could easily catch a cold, the pocket knife is from Svein since you recognize the familiar beautiful carvings on the handle of the weapon, the thriller novel is from Roger since he and you always shared your thoughts on various books, and the dried fruit is from Sigurd since in one of the last letters you wrote to him you mentioned that you wanted to eat some.

Nestled in between all of the items, is an envelope that has the name of each of your siblings written in fancy handwriting that addresses you. But before you can tear it open to read it, the door of your cabin swings open and harshly hits the wall, catching you off guard and in the process, almost dropping the box to the floor.

"Rook? What're you doing here?" you ask as the blonde hunter steps inside and holds up two bowls full of soup to show you, shutting the door behind him. " Bonjour, bel oiseau! I noticed that you missed dinner, so I have brought it to you!" he happily waltzes towards where you are and takes a seat on your bed across from you. He hands you the bowl and you thank him quietly.

The ceramic is warm against your fingers and the delightful smell of the minestrone makes your stomach rumbles in response. You hear him let out a quiet chuckle but don't pay much attention to it, distracted by the hunger you feel at that moment. Taking the spoon you scoop up some of the broth with chopped vegetables and bring it to your mouth, the liquid warming up your body and quieting the noises coming from your stomach.

You and Rook eat in silence but it's not awkward, it's nice and you don't feel the need to start any kind of conversation with him. However, your eyes wander and you find yourself discreetly watching the hunter.

He is an extremely strange guy; his constant praising and calling everyone and everything beautiful weirded out some of your coworkers and as such, he usually ended up working by himself. You were paired up with him for a short mission and working with him is great, as his skills help to avoid any kind of casualties and he has a sharp eye to notice even the smallest of details.

However, after that, he always kept looking for you. He would wait for you outside of a meeting you were in to walk you home, would greet you when you came back from a mission and there was even a rumor that he would look for jobs in which you were participating to be near you. Though you really doubt that last one.

You’re curious as to why he does that but he never tells you the reason. Even when you ask him directly, he’ll either make you blush by showering you with tons of compliments or will quickly change the subject.

Still, his company is never unwanted by you. Setting aside his eccentric personality, you find him to be rather pleasant and interesting to talk to. You snap out of your thoughts once you notice that you've eaten the entire plate of soup. 'I must've been more hungry than I thought’ , you place the ceramic bowl on your bedside table and turn to face the hunter, whose empty dish sits snugly in the center of his folded legs.

"Oh wow, I didn't notice how long your hair got," you vaguely point at his long blonde locks that now pass his shoulders. "Didn't the captain Leandro scold you for that?", Rook chuckles. "Oui , he's quite stubborn about it. But, I've explained to him countless times that I always put my hair up!"

"Although, I'd only cut it shorter if you cut it for me," the bastard winks at you and you feel your cheeks turn red. However, you don't let his compliments get to you and look at him with a slightly amused expression. “I say because the captain will surely pay someone else to cut it off for you while you sleep," unfortunately, it will not be the first time that the captain has done that to one of his underlings.

"Ah well, I’ll be sure to keep an eye out. Anyways! Bel oiseau , I am very curious about the package that you have in front of you”, lowering your eyes towards the box, you explain to the hunter that it is a present from your siblings.

When you finish speaking, your eyes focus on the bag containing the dried fruit. It contains several pieces of fruit, enough to share between two or three people. Without much thought, you grab the bag and hold it out to Rook.

"Do you want to share? There's enough for both of us and it will take me a long time to eat them on my own," the hunter gives you a broad smile and nods excitedly. You open the bag, the smell of various fruits wafting through the air and place it between the two of you, taking a dried orange and popping it into your mouth. The faint citrus taste brings back a series of nostalgic memories.

You spend your 19th birthday eating dried fruit and chatting with the eccentric hunter. In two days, you will return home and see your family again after being away on a year-long expedition.

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I came back to work with the guild and can you believe that the very prince of the Valley of Thorns is the one who gives me the missions?

You had told me several times that you wanted to meet him, that you thought he was an interesting person

...

Astrid has already set a date for her wedding. She will get married at the beginning of winter.

Svein wants to buy a small place near the Coral Sea. He wants to open a restaurant.

And Roger adopted a dog, he named him Pluto.

...

I don't know why I keep writing letters.

I think it has become part of my routine.

But I'll keep doing it, so when you come back you'll know what happened.

Sigurd, where are you? Are you all right?

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It has been five days since (Y/N) was knocked unconscious after using their unique magic and vanquishing the divine beast. The unbirthday party went according to plan, no mistakes were made and nothing out of the ordinary happened during the celebration. However, the host of the event and several of the guests did not look cheerful, nor did they seem eager to participate, only making short conversations and quietly slipping away from the party.

The host, Riddle Rosehearts, the so-called “Red Tyrant”, could not stop thinking about the past day’s events. Even when his mother angrily whispered at him to pay attention, the boy gave a short greeting and went back to thinking.

He remembers waking up amidst the debris of nature, hundreds of leaves, branches, and rocks decorated the ground, as well as huge cracks. Someone shouts his name. He groans, confused and in pain, as he feels as if someone is trying to break his back in two. His head spins, his vision is blurry, and he hears the screams of several people in the distance. His body felt so weak; he could barely lift his head up to look… That's when he notices the figure lying face down just a few feet in front of him.

He recognized the hair color and the different uniform. His heart began to pound even faster when he saw that they didn't move a single muscle.

He felt Cater and Trey's hands gently grasp his arms and began helping the red-haired stand up, but the young man never took his eyes off the figure. He watched as Yuuken ran up to them and place a hand against their pulse, but he couldn't hear what he shouted. To the sides of his vision appear Ace, Deuce, and Epel, who also run towards the figure.

Riddle tries to ask what happened and if they are okay, if they are still alive. But he can't get the words out of his mouth, as if his voice had disappeared.

Panic begins to set in at the bottom of his stomach when Rook gently lifts (Y/N)'s head. Their eyes are closed, but underneath their eyelids are several streaks of blood that seem to represent tears. Their veins are also much more prominent and even appear to be a darker color, they remind him of the cracked skin of a porcelain doll face. They sport a number of scars and bruises, some still bleeding profusely. They also seem to be much paler.

He doesn't know what overcame him, but he suddenly has the desperate need to hold them. To satiate his thoughts that they were still alive. Mustering all his strength, he shakes off his two friends and runs toward (Y/N), hearing behind him the two men shout his name in shock and tell him to stop running. But he doesn’t listen. Riddle collapses in front of them but manages to grab their shoulders and hugs their body closer to his. Tears well up in his eyes as he feels their weak yet warm breath tickle the side of their neck.

Great Seven, they were still okay. You aren't dead.

"Riddle, sir!" he shears the voice of Deuce, who places a hand on his left shoulder. "Ah! Dude, don't do that, you're just gonna hurt yourself and (Y/N) more!”, Ace exclaims in complete surprise. But Riddle ignores their comments and looks directly at Yuuken. He can barely get a word out, but between sobs and trembling, the young lord murmurs if they are all right. His heart beats a mile a minute and he feels the pain in his head grow even stronger, he’s silently begging that you'll recover from this.

Yuuken nods fervently. "They are fine, this is just an effect of their magic. We just need to get them to a hospital. Don't worry, Riddle,” the red-haired slowly and gently lets go of (Y/N)’s body and allows himself to be carried by Trey.

From there, the young lord only recalls certain bits and pieces of that day. The sounds of soldiers running up and down the corridor outside his room, Prince Malleus arriving until nightfall and fixing the mess in the garden, the silence after (Y/N) and other guild members were taken to the hospital, Epel dressing his wounds, Ace bringing him food, Deuce healing some of his wounds and Cater helping him change his clothes and bandages.

However, for the first time, after many days, Riddle felt that an invisible weight had suddenly disappeared. During those five days, he always felt that there was someone watching him, constantly making him say things that he never wanted to say, or forcing him to do things that he absolutely would've refused to do. He felt as if somebody controlled him like a puppet, barely having control of his own body and emotions.

But deep down, he knows that he’s felt like that since he was a child, his mother making almost every decision for him and never letting him think for himself or do things without having somebody constantly watching over his shoulder and criticizing every single move. He finally feels that he’s able to take control of his own emotions and actions.

"Thank you. (Y/N), for everything... and to the rest of my friends too", whispered Riddle to the empty room. He then closes his eyes and falls into a deep slumber.

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Ace walks alone through one of the many bustling streets of the Rose Kingdom. Behind him, the sky has turned orange and visiting hours will end once the sky turns dark and the stars come out. He quickens his steps.

He is wearing his headphones, which are blaring rock music. In his left hand, he holds a bouquet of colorful flowers wrapped in light brown tissue paper. He turns right and stops in front of a crosswalk, waiting for the traffic light to turn red so that the cars will stop.

His destination? Red King Hospital, where his new friend now lies unconscious.

When the cars stop, he starts walking across the street with a group of people who were waiting with him. He holds the flowers a little tighter, being careful not to break the stems, and watches out of the corner of his eye as they gently rise and fall together with his steps.

He spent almost half an hour attempting to buy the flowers. Since he is completely ignorant as to what each flower means, he just picked the colors he liked and if they had a nice shape. It also didn't help that he had to take pictures of each type of flower and wait for Deuce and Epel, who took their sweet time to text him back with their choice of flower.

He enters the large white building and his nose is immediately invaded by the smell of bleach and other cleaning products. The hospital is relatively quiet, with a couple of people sitting in the waiting room and a woman heading down the hallway towards the patient rooms.

Ace heads towards room 413 and unplugs his headphones from his cell phone, cutting off the music. He hears machines beeping in the background and quiet conversations come from other rooms. However, he stops a few rooms before when he recognizes two figures standing outside (Y/N)'s room. "Hey! What are you guys doing here? I thought you had other things to do" at the sound of Ace's voice, Epel and Deuce turn their heads to look at him. They wave at him and the ginger walks over to the two.

"My mother is feeling better from her cold, so I decided to come visit (Y/N). My grandmother said to give them this," Deuce holds up a small book that appears to be a collection of stories. "I managed to escape from Rook and ran into Deuce so we both came together," Ace recalls Hunt taking the apple boy with the intention of "meeting up with an old friend again."

"Oh, got it. Well, since we're here, let's go inside," but before Ace can grab the door handle, the blue-haired man stops him. "Wait, there's someone else in the room with (Y/N). They were awake when we got here but whatever they’re talking about seems to be important" Epel whispers and Ace watches them in confusion. However, curiosity gets the better of him and the three of them put their ears to the door.

Two voices are heard in the room, one from an unknown man and the other is the familiar voice of (Y/N). They seem to be coming to the end of the supposedly “important discussion”, which is probably about their work. "We thank you for your time again, (Y/N)!", a more cheerful voice interjects and the three hear a small chuckle coming from the commander.

"You're welcome. As I told you, the final details will have to be discussed with Yuuken," (Y/N) mentions in a hoarse and somewhat hushed voice. They cough, hearing someone gently pat their back. "W-We want to apologize for coming to discuss work stuff with you when you just woke up, (Y/N)-shii," mentions the other voice, only this one is deeper.

"No need to worry, Idia. I still thank you for coming to visit me. I thank you too, Ortho," the high-pitched voice lets out a small laugh. “It was good to see you again, (Y/N)! I hope that we can see you more often!”, the person named Ortho replies and each of them says their goodbyes.

Quickly, the three of them outside, remove their ears from the door and pretend not to have heard the whole conversation. The blue door opens softly and out of the room come out two boys with fiery blue hair. The taller one ducks his head and avoids the gaze of the other three, while the smaller one happily waves at them before catching up with the other one who hastily walked away.

With the two unknown men gone, Ace, Deuce, and Epel quietly take a peek into the room. (Y/N) sits upright on the bed, an IV tube is connected to their left-hand wrist and a dark blue letter sits on their lap. Ace notices that (Y/N) looks exhausted, their wounds already healed, leaving only behind some scars, and there are dark circles under their eyes. Seeming to notice some new presence, the commander turns their head and comes face to face with the three boys. They give them a small smile.

"H-Hello. It’s nice to see you three. You guys can come in," they say in a hushed voice before coughing once again. First to pass is Epel, who gives (Y/N) a short hug, followed by Deuce who greets them and gives them his gift. Ace is the last to come in, closing the door behind him and placing the flowers near the letter they had left on the table.

"How are you feeling?" asks Deuce. "I feel fine, just a little headache and those annoying coughs. How are you guys doing?" Ace drags a chair over and places it next to the bed, taking a seat and crossing his leg as he lets out a sigh. "We’re fine, only a few scars and bruises that is,” (Y/N) nods before grabbing a glass of water that was placed on a nearby table and taking a sip.

“I see… what about the rest?”, they ask in a hushed tone. “Trey and Cater are also fine. And Riddle, well… he actually seemed a bit lost during the celebration but he after that he looked happier and went back to his normal self,” Epel says and at the mention of the young lord's new change, the commander let out a small sigh, most likely out of relief.

Ace is reminded of the blank stare that Riddle carried throughout the entire celebration. He played the role of a host well and would put on his best expression with the nobles who approached him, but once he was left alone, he swears that Rosehearts looked utterly bored and completely lost.

“He recovered somewhat quickly, although the doctor recommended that he take it easier after the celebration, other than that, he seemed to be fine”, Deuce says and (Y/N) nods, their expression turning serious. “I see. I'm sure Yuuken has informed him that he must report to the guild at least once a month for a health check-up, right?”, Ace nods remembering him being present when the black-haired man gave Trey the instructions.

However, the ginger remembers what happened a few moments ago and curiosity once again takes a hold of him again. "Hey, who were those two that were here a while ago?" (Y/N) directs their gaze towards Ace. "Ah, they were the Shroud brothers. I can't tell you what we talked about because it's confidential," the commander lets out a somewhat quiet laugh, and Ace sulks at the answer.

"Ah, how unfair! If you told us about the beasts, why not about this?" Deuce nods along with ginger, seeming to agree with him. Still, (Y/N) doesn't say a word about the conversation. "It's business with the guild, specifically, between commander and captain of another organization," the commander says with a smile.

Everyone continues to talk about various topics, sharing laughs and anecdotes, until visiting hours are over. The three say goodbye to (Y/N) and each returns to their respective homes on their own. Well, Epel heads back to the hotel where he was staying.

On the way home, Ace thinks about the events that happened last week. It almost doesn't feel real, as if it was a product of his nightmares. The only thing he has to prove that it was real is some cuts and bruises that linger on his skin.

As Ace gets closer and closer to his home, his mind wanders to (Y/N). He remembers when the smoke cleared and the hideous monster disappeared, he saw in between the ruble two bodies. Riddle was the first one to start moving but he went into a panic when the commander did not move a single muscle.

He thought they were dead.

But as Yuuken quickly searched for their pulse and shouted that they were alive,  Ace felt incredibly relieved... happy that they were okay.

He wonders why he worries so much for a person he just met not even a week ago. He accompanied them to investigate an abandoned campsite, when he heard Avery scream he bolted towards where they were worried that something happened to them, he didn't mind fighting a monster with them...

"Why?" he wonders as he arrives at the front gate of his house. "Am I... Am I so desperate for... a friend?"

His thoughts get interrupted when his brother comes out of the house and greets him, ushering him inside to eat dinner.

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Sigurd, I wanted to tell you that I think I finally made some friends.

I met them during a mission.

I really like them, they’re very interesting and funny people.

I hope that one day you get to meet them.

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Translation:

Hodeskalle Knuseren (Norweigan): Skull Crusher.

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Tag list:

@r0texe @hellokittykuroo @d3nz3lm0rn @alureasoley @kirmalight @xxrabbitcultxx @warcelia @lucian-kinnder @maximumphantomlover @hillichurl @keqingsfavbestie @stardustgreydragon​ @raimenshko​ @h0n3ysgh0st​ @valveii 

[lavendermage]

Apocalypse Impact

Characters: Kaeya(Romantic), Amber, benny’s adventure team 

Genre: Apocalypse au, gender neutral reader

TW: Mild Violence, scars

1.4k words

AN: This was sitting in my drafts for a while. I've got a whole series planned out. Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

You advanced, weapon in hand, toward the sounds a few aisles down. Your weapon wasn’t much, just an old baseball bat, but it has held up. It’s efficient too, though it’s not too hard to put the dead back down. Most of them, at least. Some of them were - different.

You poked your head around the edge. It’s not some undead. They’re definitely people, but that doesn’t mean you can trust them. You’ve had a few bad run-ins with other survivors. They didn't seem to be hostile though. They were talking about something, but you were too far away to hear. You decided to creep closer. You crouched one aisle away, listening in.

“Let’s keep looking around. We might find somebody.” A woman’s voice said. 

“Yeah! Let’s go!” Said a young boy’s voice. He seemed very enthusiastic.

“Hmm” The third voice just huffed in agreement. 

“You two stay together, alright? I’ll go on my own. Let’s meet back here if we find anything.” The first voice said. 

The others agreed, and they separated. The two steps walked away but the third walked towards you. You stayed still. A young woman walked into view. Her brown hair was long and held back with a red ribbon. She didn’t look like a threat.

“Hello.” You stepped out of your hiding place.

She startled and drew an arrow, aiming it at you. “Stand back!”

You held up your hands. You miscalculated. “Ok, ok. I don’t want to hurt you, and you don’t seem to want to hurt me either. Please don’t shoot me.”

She considered her option for a few seconds before lowering her bow. “All right.” She called the two boys over. 

One of them was covered in band-aids and the other was scarred. 

“Hi, my name’s Bennett!” Band-aid-boy said eagerly. He poked the kid next to him. “And this is Razor.” The other boy just grunted.

“My name’s [name]. And you?” You turned towards the brunette,

“Sorry, I forgot to tell you! I’m Amber.” She said, flustered, very different from how confident she was earlier.

“No worries, it’s easy to forget formalities in this climate.” You waved off her apology. “Are you guys part of a camp of some sort?” They looked in good condition, at least by post-apocalyptic standards.

“Yes. We have a whole city set up!” Bennett balled his hands into fists excitedly.

“Don’t just tell them that!” Amber chastised.

“Hmm, A city. Do you have room for one more?” You scratched the back of your neck nervously. “I’m really tired of sleep deprivation.” It was unsafe to sleep alone, both because of the undead and other people.

“Well… as long as one of the other captains checks…” Amber trailed off. “It should be fine.”

“Thanks a lot. By the way, can I get my stuff? It’s all packed.” You had been careful to keep all your things together, ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

Amber nodded, and you ran off to get it.

“I’m back.” You carried a backpack filled with gear. 

“Alright, let’s head back.”

Amber sent the two boys to fetch one of the captains to integrate you, while she led you to an abandoned shed on one of the apartment’s roofs. The camp itself was on the roof and top floors of the building. She made small talk with you, or at least tried. “So how were you doing?” She started playing with the hem of her shirt. “Before I… you know… tried to shoot you. Sorry about that.”

You shrugged. “It happens. First time I’ve seen someone with a bow. It’s kind of cool.” You tried your best to calm her nerves. She was very sweet, and you didn’t want her to beat herself up over a reasonable reaction. “Where did you get it?”

She brightened up immediately, rambling about her grandfather. Apparently he trained her to use a bow since she was little. You liked how animated she was. It was – endearing.

There was a knock on the door and you both looked up. “Sorry for my lateness, I was in the middle of a meeting.” A tall, slender man entered the door, closing it behind him. He looked familiar. His hair was longer, but that teasing inflection in his voice was still there. 

“Kaeya?” 

His eyes widened as he recognized you. “[Name].” His voice broke.

Amber decided it was best to leave and darted out the door.

Kaeya rushed in and pulled you to his chest. “I knew you would be alright. I knew it.” He rested his head on yours. 

You wrapped your hands around his back. “I’m glad you’re alive.” You pulled away from him and cupped his face in your hands. 

He startled, but didn’t stop you. 

“Your eye though...” Worry crushed the features of your face. One of his eyes was covered by an eyepatch. 

“Don’t worry.” He brushed your hand from his face. “I see you’ve got some new scars too.” He smirked. “They look badass.”

You laughed, choosing to drop the topic. “You think so? Thanks. So am I approved to enter the camp?” 

“Of course, no friend of mine will be left out there.” He grabbed your hand. “Now let’s introduce you to everyone.” He walked ahead and opened the door for you, still holding your hand. 

He walked you around the camp, introducing you to the people who lived there. A woman with blonde hair and a red tassel was in charge of supplies and rationing. You also met the woman in charge of managing work, a strong willed person named Keqing. Kaeya and Diluc’s friend, Jean, was in charge of the scouts. You didn’t know her very well, but she still greeted you warmly. There were alot of kids too. The two you met earlier, of course, and a strange girl with an eyepatch, among others.

When you asked Kaeya about it he just laughed. “She wears it as a fashion accessory.”

You two continued your tour, meeting a whirlwind of faces. When you finished, the sun was setting. You realized you needed some place to sleep. 

“Hey, Kaeya, where will I stay?”

“In my room.” He opened the door to the top floor. “After you.” He swept his hand out and bowed.

“You’re so dramatic.” You laughed. When you entered you noticed the bed. “Nice!” You sat on it and bounced.

“Haven’t slept in a bed for a while, have you?” You missed the sadness in his voice.

“Yeah. Remember that asshole that would hide razor blades in mattresses?” An unknown survivor would break into houses just to stick blades into any couches and beds. 

“Did you lay in one of them?” This time you didn’t miss the worry in his voice.

“No, just started rigging up a hammock wherever I went.” You realized something. “So where am I sleeping?” 

“The bed of course.” He looked at you, surprised by your question.

“And you?”

“The couch probably.”

“You won’t fit.” He was very tall.

“It’ll be fine.”

You thought for a second, thinking about how to word your feelings. “Can… you sleep with me?”

“With?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Next to! You know what I mean!” You punched his shoulder. 

“Alright, Alright.” He held up his hands in surrender. 

“I’ll go to the bathroom to change.” You grabbed your night clothes and left.

He changed too, undressing and pulling on a pair of boxers. He usually slept shirtless but he pulled on a t-shirt to make you more comfortable. 

“Are you decent?” You called from the bathroom.

“Yes, come in.” 

Your sleep clothes exposed more skin and more scars. They littered your back and arms, including one large one crossing your bicep. He couldn’t help but stare, fixated on them and what must have happened for you to get them. 

You dropped onto the bed and groaned. “Kaeya, turn off the light and sleep!”

“Ok, ok.” He turned off the lights and made his way to the bed, careful not to trip over your stuff in the dark. He reached the side of the bed. You grabbed his wrists and pulled him onto it. He fell. You placed your head on his chest and he panics. His heart was beating hard and fast because he was next to you. You’d hear him.

“Did I scare you?” He could hear the smile in your voice and for a second he was overwhelmed with his love for you. 

The wave passed and he could speak again. “You’re a little trickster, aren’t you?”

You laughed and burrowed into his chest. You were together and you were safe.

Masterlist

[stilemawillow]

MTIJ | Ch.19 Assuming This is a Fairytale (I) Where’s My Knight in Shining Armour?

|mtij masterlist|

pairing: levi ackerman x reader (eren jaeger x reader)

word count: 9.2k

summary: a girl with a variety of hidden complexes has to live with a french asshole for nine months. easy? on the surface. problematic? definitely. romantic? not too much, or at least they’d make it a point to say so everytime when asked. the end? please, their dynamic isn’t as simple as that.

“You have a boyfriend.” He’s sitting across from me. He looks almost… not like a statue. And he’s using the lamest excuse in the history of everything.

“I have a boy who doesn’t care about me.” I’m arguing but the lights are dim and we’re on the floor and my ankle hurts and I just want a kiss – is that too much to ask for? From him maybe. Maybe he’s the wrong guy. Maybe I should stop. I don’t want to stop. I want this as an excuse for comfort. I want a kiss.

“He cares.” He’s fighting me off with his words but they don’t work. They only make my stomach churn painfully at the thought of my boyfriend. I’m actively trying to cheat. And what? Levi will refuse anyway. He’s handsome and he’s out of my league and I hate him and he’ll refuse anyway. So what’s the point? The point is I don’t think Eren loves me anymore. Eren ignores me. Eren avoids me. Eren’s lying to me. Eren makes me want to cry. I love Eren so fucking much.

“Is that why he makes me want to cry? Why he ignores me, avoids me, lies to me?” I’m sneering and he’s clicking his tongue. It sounds hot. It’s weird this is the first time it occurs to me. I haven’t noticed before. Eren doesn’t do that. If Eren was here, I wouldn’t be like this. I wouldn’t be drunk and immensely attracted to this handsome person who’s done nothing but help me. I wish I wasn’t here.

“The point is this is wrong. With me.” I blink at him innocently, not quite getting the sense in which it will be wrong aside from the fact I’ll be cheating on a relationship I might as well write off as dead. I don’t want to. But I’m dumb and I’m drunk and my speciality is jumping to conclusions when those two mix. I don’t see his point.

“We’re young and I want to try new stuff. You stopped me downstairs. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re being overprotective, asshole.” His jaw flexes. It’s hot when he does that. He’s angry. Or maybe not angry. I can’t read him that well yet. Maybe something else. Maybe I’ll never know. Maybe I don’t care.

“You’re drunk. You can’t think straight.” He shoots out defensively, making me choke on the joke that runs across my mind. Yeah, no, I’m thinking pretty straight because I’m not urging a girl into kissing me. Wait. Is this harassment? No, no, no. I’m not exactly restraining him and forcing him into it. Physically at least. God. I’m sorry. I wish I can tell him I’m sorry. I don’t. I say the exact opposite.

“Please. Just a kiss.” My head is spinning and I’m reaching for him. His fingers are sweaty when they grip my wrist. I’m swaying forward, no, I’m trying to lean in. I can’t talk my way out of this one. I don’t want to remember it. “Please.” I’m pleading and I never plead. I don’t think I care anymore. His breath is on my face and his eyes are on mine. Pretty. So fucking pretty. I hate him so fucking much I wanna kiss his face off his mouth. No, that sounds wrong. Oh, fuck it.

He’s taking a breath and he’s staring at me. Pretty. He’s pretty even when he’s tense. I really like his shirt. And I really want it off. But, oh, well, I guess this is it. He’ll pull me up and drag me back home. I don’t know how we’ll climb the rope with me like this. His lips are so close it hurts. Maybe I’ll sleep in the backyard. My ankle hurts. I’m giving him a discount version of what a sober person’s puppy dog eyes would look like and I know it won’t happen. Not now, not ever.

And then, against the laws of Physics, nature, the universe and whatever other cosmic power there might be, he does it.

I genuinely, wholeheartedly would combust if somebody was audacious enough to ask me why I couldn’t sleep. I was lying awake and it was Sunday night or maybe early Monday. I couldn’t tell because I’d been staring at the ceiling for the past few I didn’t even know what, trying to not think about the previous night. Avoiding the thoughts actively didn’t help, because they kept cramming themselves back into my brain, one by one, gradually pumping dread and humiliation into my veins until I no longer needed caffeine to look like I was on cocaine. And here came the conclusion of that little monologue I’d had yesterday – Levi had kissed me, for some unknown to me reason. He’d kissed me. And I’d kissed him, too. And we’d made out. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop remembering it. It was almost like that time back at the restaurant when I’d felt the persistent ghostly presence of his lips on mine. Almost, but amplified tenfold and times as terrifying.

The more I tried to keep my train of thought in check by maybe counting sheep or humming the annoyingly catchy tune of Cotton Eye Joe, the more violent the (hot, hot, hot, unbelievably hot) terrible memories became. I wanted to turn off my brain. I wanted to scream, too, but my parents were quietly snoring down the hallway and me yelling at the top of my lungs like I was getting slaughtered by the Boogeyman would surely be an inconvenience for their beauty sleep. I had two hours till they went to work, so keeping my mouth shut till then shouldn’t be too hard. And, as a mental reminder for myself, I had to call Annie as soon as was an appropriate time for her not to scream my ear off for waking her up. We needed to talk about this because there was no way in hell I could possibly keep this to myself. Lying was my forte – keeping secrets wasn’t. And she could offer insight, not to mention advice on how I could handle this.

The main points were that: arguing with Levi would be quite useless since he’d kept quiet about it for a reason and fighting wouldn’t erase the fact we’d done it, and telling Eren the truth immediately would be… well, not a mistake per se, since honesty was what was most important for the smooth sailing of a relationship, but it wouldn’t be nice or easy or in any way beneficial. Not my proudest moment – preaching about my loyalty and throwing myself at my father’s intern. Ugh. And I’d spent a whole sleepless night on these two simple as fuck conclusions. No shit Annie mocked me for being dumb when mere common sense was the best my straining brain could come up with under such pressure. Somebody smarter would figure a way to smooth the whole situation over in a way that would deal only mild damage to everybody’s feelings. I couldn’t do that. Because I’d made a huge mistake and there was no going back in time to save me from it. Maybe if there was, I could slap myself unconscious before opening my mouth and leave after wishing Levi a good night.

I sat up with a groan – unlike the Princess and the Pea, my thoughts were the only niggling feeling torturing my brain. It was of no use trying to sleep at this point of things. It’d be for the best if I just went downstairs, made myself coffee and spent some time trying to distract myself from the horribly messy predicament by emptying the contents of my brain and consuming copious amounts of TV. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there was an optimistic spark that told me it would work. The remaining 99% of my conscience screamed at it to shut the fuck up because we all knew it wouldn’t. The collective vote that doing something in fluorescent lighting was better than doing nothing in the dark won, I kicked my blanket off and stretched right after getting up. I was stiff and tense all over, dressed in my lucky unicorn sweatpants and a baggy shirt I’d stolen from Eren’s wardrobe years ago. I was tip-toeing down the stairs and into the kitchen, where the boring process of making myself a steaming cup of coffee made my mind stray. In a very very wrong direction.

His lips are hot and soft. I think I’m trying to imagine Eren but it’s different. It’s slower, gentler, weirder in a sense. Not bad. Not intrusive. Not sloppy. It doesn’t feel wrong. Not at all. It’s too nice, too soft, too much. Almost way too much. It’s way too much and way too nice. Feels right. We’re on the bed. He’s muttering something about wrong. I’m speechless. The ceiling is far off. His lips are on my neck and it’s singeing. God, I hope it leaves a mark.

I’m tugging on his shirt. He sits upright and takes it off and I’m gawking. His eyes narrow in the gloom and he doesn’t say anything when my clammy hands settle on his abdomen and trace upwards. Fuck. This feels too nice. My finger hooks into the waistband of his jeans and he’s leaning down again, muttering again. I feel like I’ve heard this voice before.

“I don’t want to have sex. I don’t want you to regret it and it would be taking advantage of you.” Like he already isn’t, by general standards. But I find myself nodding along obediently, I’m nodding so much and his voice sounds so different it’s a shame I won’t remember. I feel a pinch of self-consciousness, like there’s something wrong with me. Like he doesn’t think I’m attractive. But he doesn’t and he shouldn’t. Because we’re not supposed to be doing this but I don’t remember why. I trust him.

“Kiss me again.” I’m pulling him down by the neck and he complies, hard muscles and a pliable heart. He’s too kind to me. And then he goes out of his way to prove he can read minds. My shirt is thrown to the side, almost as if to say “here you go, I think you attractive, too”. His hand is trailing a line over my ribcage. I shudder. He’s too warm. Too soft. Too nice. I think he’s smiling against my lips. I think I hate him for not letting me see it.

I flinched when the coffee machine beeped. My coffee was overflowing and I hurried to stop the machine and wipe the counter before the dark liquid had reached the edge. I glanced up at the clock with a sigh. It was four-thirty in the morning. What torture. My mind felt like an overblown balloon and my body felt like a dried prune. I poured sugar into my coffee and concluded there would be no milk because I needed the bitterness to shake me out of falling asleep every time I took a sip. I headed into the living room and collapsed on the couch, tucking my feet to my chest and turning on the TV. Netflix was sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse. I put on the first cartoon that came to mind – namely, The Powerpuff Girls. Lowering the volume, I settled comfortably on the couch and observed the simple animation and my train of thought derailed contrary to what my optimism hoped for.

I kissed Levi. I can explode from just thinking about it, but it happened. I was drunk and craving attention from somebody. He was closest. Bringing the situation down to its essentials was somewhat comforting. Because I was dumb when I was sober, so who was to say I wouldn’t perform such colossal idiocy when drunk? That was right, nobody. Pause. What about Petra then? Now that was a spin on the situation that struck me into holding my breath. She was either his ex, his crush or… well, those two seemed most plausible. Not to mention, the change in his voice when he’d mistaken us that one morning. It had been too soft for comfort. Oh, shit. It’s the same voice. My eyes narrowed in realisation. That’s why it sounded familiar. And since putting two and two together was something I’d exceeded at back in the first grade, it was relatively easy to do it now. I’m a replacement.

Aaaaand maybe I should stop overthinking. Whatever happens, happens. But the thought of being regarded as somebody’s substitute didn’t sit right with me, which was, under further inspection, a total act of hypocrisy, seeing as I’d also indulged the thought of Eren at the beginning. But I couldn’t keep it up. Because they’re not the same. I couldn’t for a second force myself into thinking it was Eren. Now that one was ironic, wasn’t it? I shook my head with a weak chuckle and went back to watching Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles. Of course, my hand was glued to my neck the whole time. He bit there. And when the TV proved to be an inefficient distraction, my merciful father’s well-timed alarm rang, bringing him and my mother like angles down the stairs, even though they resembled corpses in the mornings. I kept the hickeys hidden and the buzzing of their conversation took my mind off things to the point I even felt appetite. Naturally, when the intern showed up for a cup of black tea and breakfast my one-sided tension spiked and I almost choked on the apple I was eating.

Thankfully, I only had to bear the pressure of acting normally for thirty minutes, after which everybody bid me their respective goodbyes and left, giving me the freedom of calling my best friend, whose first line following my greeting was a “what the fuck do you want?” grumble. Yes, Annie was rude in the mornings. But that rude mouth had stuck with me through thick and thin and I was too numb to take offence at this point in our friendship. Not to mention I was calling for her sake as well as my own. She’d have too much fun listening to me admit that, would you look at that, Levi and I actually seemed to have had some fun the night of the party. And I’d get to talk it out with somebody. So it was a win-win situation, which was exactly why I managed to convince her into meeting me at our favourite café in the centre in an hour. I spent half my time willing her out of bed and she spent it cursing and shuffling with her clothes after she’d found her way away from her temptress of a pillow.

We hung up, I put my empty coffee cup in the sink and rushed to my room to dress appropriately for an early outing in the city. In no time, I was starting the Audi’s engine and driving, and having to park only three blocks away from the centre contrary to the usual seven in order to find a parking space. I paced to the café on foot and she was already waiting for me at our usual table outside with our favourite orders sitting on it. Now that was a best friend. The chilly morning air would do us some good. And, of course, right off the bat, she noted my appearance wasn’t as lively as it usually was. I told her I hadn’t been able to sleep at all and she just quirked a curious brow at me, justifying that much was obvious because I wouldn’t have asked her for a coffee date at seven-thirty under normal circumstances.

“It turns out, Ann, that Levi and I did have fun.” The admittance was stiff and awkward, and her eyes narrowed as I kept talking. “This is going to sound like I’m recovering from Alzheimer but my memories are kind of flooding back. And we made out. He’s probably the mysterious vacuum.” Her brows raised at my rambling, then I grabbed my drink and took a slurping sip to calm my tense shoulders. “And I think I might be a replacement for Petra because he used the same voice from when he mistook us.” She reclined in her seat after realising she’d leaned in in anticipation.

“Expected but still shocking.” Typical Annie. Sometimes she was a medium. Other times she just knew me well. Third times, she was delusional. We’d get to one of those in about two months. “Also the part about you being a replacement, I don’t think so. I mean, yeah, sure, sounds plausible, but like, weren’t you imagining somebody else, too?” My lips pursed and I shook my head, which seemed to surprise her more than the confession that I’d made out with my father’s intern. “You weren’t? Like, you know who I’m talking abou---“

“I couldn’t.” I cut off with a frown. It was annoying to admit it because that had been the initial plan. To feel like Eren was the one kissing me. She opened her mouth and by the consideration nestled between her brows, I knew what she would say, which was exactly why I spoke before she could. “And now I’ve gone and cheated. And don’t use the ‘you were looking for affection’ excuse because I tried and it doesn’t help. It’s still cheating. I don’t know how to tell Eren. I think I’ll be too scared to tell him at all.” My shoulders were slumped in shame and I couldn’t do as much as picture his reaction. I was a coward like that. And, if fessing up scared me that much, then maybe I shouldn’t have cheated in the first place. Go and tell that to my twisted morals.

“Well, those are the only options. You should be quick about it if you don’t want to feel guilty. And there’s no right way about saying it – the act is what hurts, not the words.” Yes, what was done was done. Now it was just a matter of honesty or guilt. Did I want my relationship to end or did I want it to proceed with rotten foundations? Then Annie snorted and her words made my face contort in shame and pain. “Of course, you didn’t say anything about Will so I don’t expect you to say anything now.” Almost like a knife to the back even though I knew she was right. It hurt because she was right. Because I wasn’t just a coward – I was a proven coward. And this was the second time she’d had to help me through something like this. One might think she’d packed up on experience.

“I know I didn’t, but it was almost two years ago and we were in a break and… God, who am I kidding?” Excuses were useless in this situation. Trying to lie to Annie wouldn’t fix anything because she knew the truth already. I threw my hands in the air with a derisive smile. “I’m a shit person and if my love life was a movie, everybody would be rooting for Eren to kick my fucking ass to the curb.” Even my uncle wouldn’t be able to defend a hopeless case like mine. There was no place for sympathy here. I’d fucked up too severely to rely on justifications. And then it hit me like a truck going at two hundred miles per hour – that even I couldn’t sympathise with myself. “I can’t believe I did it again! This is so--- I’m so--- I’m fucking angry at myself.” If anybody needed a disclaimer to log off before things got deep and serious, there would be no better time than now. Because Annie’s expression told me she would hand me a plate of harsh objectivity.

“You know, (Y/N), and now, hear me out before you begin arguing: I like Jaeger a lot and he’s a good boyfriend but…” Always that but. She almost seemed uncomfortable to proceed speaking but she did. Maybe because she was saying this for my sake. “He’s been all you’ve ever had in terms of romance. Isn’t it kind of logical that your hormonal teenage years would be accompanied by such mistakes? I’m not saying you don’t love him because you’ve made them, but it certainly shows you’re looking for experience in others. The five years during which you’ve dated the same guy, somebody else has made their way through like… maybe five or six different relationships and now they know exactly what they’re looking for, whereas you just cling to Eren for fear there will never be anybody else.” It sounded reasonable because Annie was good at being reasonable. It was also something I might say to somebody else with the same issue, but, it seemed, when the issue was mine, I couldn’t be as reasonable.

“But he is exactly what I’m looking for!” Not just because I loved to describe him as perfect – he had good and bad qualities that rested in good balance. It was exactly what made him perfect. There wasn’t a single deal-breaker I could point out in him. We fit well together – we’d fit well together since the beginning. Maybe the deal breaker was in me. But I didn’t want to say that, I didn’t want to think that. “He treats me well, he puts up with me, he makes me laugh, he’s understanding and, sure, we’re both hotheads sometimes but we always talk stuff out and we love each other. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to want.” I was lost and Annie’s expression had melted into that of immense pity. I sounded like I could cry. “I don’t think there’s anything else I might want.” The weak conclusion made her brows furrow before she gestured in my direction and grabbed her glass.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about – you’ve been with him so long you’ve never seen how a relationship with somebody else will play out and you assume Eren is the one you need to spend your life with. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but the cheating shows that you’re way too dependent on his attention to build proper self-esteem for yourself.” Now that made me gape in offence. Well over a decade of friendship and this was the first time I’d heard something like this exit her mouth. What – so I was looking for hot men to prove to me I was attractive?

“Oh, now you’re straight-up bullshitting me. I have self-esteem.” I argued with a scowl, making her snort. My self-esteem was not the issue here. I was comfortable with myself in terms of body – certainly not character but that was a topic I’d become way better acquainted with in the future. If anything, my confidence in arguing should’ve been enough to prove my point. But it wasn’t, because Annie instantly found a way to blow it to pieces – with sarcasm, too.

“Because Eren thinks you’re hot? And when he doesn’t say it or show it, you suddenly think you’re not.” It didn’t sound like a question because it was a statement. And my glare lessened and dipped to my lap because I could easily recount the instances that could support her argument. She sipped on her drink and gave a sigh shortly after. She sounded like (Levi) a preacher when she spoke up again – but where he’d use generalisation, she regarded the specifics. “Not everybody meets the love of their life right off the bat. And you’ve been in love with him since you were a child to the point you don’t even know how to flirt now. You didn’t develop emotionally because you fell in love with him that early. It’s not a bad thing because you were happy but it’s starting to show you don’t know how romantic relationships work with people that aren’t him.” I wanted to object but she was right. I couldn’t picture myself building a relationship with somebody new. Because Eren had handed me that pebble back in elementary school and I’d instantly known. This would be the guy I love. There had been no need for flirting or talking stages – we grew up together and we got to know each other as friends for nearly four years before we dated.

“Ann, you know I hate change. He’s all I’ve had and we’ve had our moments but 90% of the time I can picture the rest of my life with him and I’ll be happy.” Was that the important part here? My eyes were dripping with uncertainly when I tried to imagine the future – I’d thought something bright and bubbly a while ago, where I’d wear that green plastic ring he’d given me as a promise and he’d smile all the time. I just wanted him to be happy, too. And with how I was treating him, it might as well not happen because of me. “With the cheating and all, I’m starting to doubt he’ll want it. Actually, maybe… I don’t deserve him anymore.” The words fell out numbly, a broken little string that felt too foreign to the taste buds on my tongue. Annie was frowning now, but she wasn’t objecting. We agreed on it then. “How am I supposed to live without him?” I asked with a light smile while spinning my ring round my finger and the blonde across from me seemed uncomfortable because she had no practical answer.

“I guess you might learn with time someday. I expect it’ll be shit at the beginning so I’ll be there to distract you. You’ll find yourself some short-lived flings, learn what men you like, what men you don’t like.” I scrunched my nose in half-hearted displeasure, but the smile was still there and I didn’t know why it was there. Annie’s eyes bore into my gaze and her lips pursed in mild reprimand. “You’ll have to not look for Eren in each and every one of them. And at some point, we’ll find you a nice guy that you can fall in love with and… we’ll see where that takes us.” I gave a minimal snort and noted I couldn’t picture myself with somebody else, to which she had an instant retort. “You were with somebody else two days ago.” I wasn’t really. Because he wasn’t with me.

“Yeah, but I don’t like him like that. I can’t picture, let’s say, somebody else just sitting with me, playing video games and eating pizza and fighting over soda. I can’t picture somebody else kissing my forehead or holding my hand when we’re outside or… any of the smaller stuff. Making out is purely physical, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the attachment I have for Eren for somebody else.” I was complaining and my heart was tired of the strain of listening to Annie pour truth into my ears. I wanted things to be easy and nice – I was the only one making them hard for myself. Again, I struggled to sympathise with myself. It would’ve been easier if… if what? What could fix this? What part of me was so set on fucking everything up? I wasn’t sure.

“Well, worst case scenario, your ways will part for a while and if it’s meant to be and he’s really the one, you’ll get back together at some point.” My brows raised and I was staring at the ring in the morning sunlight. It glistened like perfectly normal silver did. But there was something special about it, something calming, something nice. Annie gave a sigh. “It happens. I personally believe in letting go and that if it’s right, it’ll find its way back.” It would find its way back. If Eren and I separated because of this, would he come back? Would I want him to come back if I’d keep messing up every time we were having a hard time? My head hurt from too much pondering. It was useless.

“This got real depressing, Ann. Let’s talk about something else. I’ll just… wait for the right moment to tell Eren, if it ever comes.” We settled down and sipped on our drinks silently, staring blankly at the table and appreciating the sun, even if the city two blocks away was bustling with activity. A flash made my eyes dip to my best friend’s wrist, where a delicate silver bracelet rested. I didn’t remember this one. And she wasn’t too keen on jewellery. And then, just when I’d opened my mouth to say something, I saw a familiar silhouette in the distance. Tall like a pillar, blond, dressed in a relatively boring suit and my lips were sewn shut because we heard his voice, too, booming and authoritative even outside the classroom. Annie flinched at the sound of it.

“Mike, I already told Hanji you can stay over but not if she insists on keeping a cow head in the fridge.” He sounded outraged and he was pacing, talking on the phone and clenching his briefcase, and I honestly wanted to meet the woman who’d keep a cow head anywhere around her, not just in a fridge. “No, I don’t care it’s for her absurd experiments nor that she’s supposedly on the brink of a discovery that’ll change the way we view cells and mammals – she cannot, will not keep a cow head in my fridge if she plans on staying the summer.” Strange acquaintances our Psychology teacher had. And fast as he’d arrived, he was gone, rushing down the street with big strides and more profanities regarding the woman named Hanji and her experiments. My stupor was cut short when I looked at my best friend and saw the redness on her pale face.

“Have anything to tell me?” I inquired slowly, slyly and with utmost suspicion, to which she averted her gaze. In translation: I DON’T WANT TO TELL YOU BECAUSE IT’S EMBARRASSING. Something had happened – that much was obvious because we were best friends and we knew each other and our reactions in and out. Much like she’d had a hunch about the intern and me doing something stupid, I always knew when there was something she’d kept quiet about. “Come on, Ann. At least tell me if it’s good or bad. Like, did you confess or something?” She shot me a deadly glare and proceeded to sip on her drink till her face returned to its normal colour. Then she faked clearing her throat to give herself the time to realise beating around the bush was useless.

“Yesterday, I encountered Mr Smith on my way back home.” My eyes widened at her muttered statement. She tried to keep her voice steady and cold but it almost quivered at the end. I gestured with my hand in a slow circle in order to make her continue because this kind of reaction was definitely not justified by just an encounter. “He gave me a late birthday present.” My eyes flickered down to the silver bracelet and she nodded her head, then I kept gesturing in a more hurried circle because there was more – there was more because she was becoming redder by the second. “And I thanked him and he almost kissed me.” I gaped at the hurried statement, then she rolled her eyes. “Close your mouth, (Y/N). You look ridiculous.” I couldn’t take the stern order seriously when she was the shade of a tomato.

And to imagine there was a love story going on right under my nose. Annie was eighteen and Mr Smith was twenty-six. It wasn’t too little or too big of an age gap considering what some of the modern American girls had as partners. You know, the ones who invented the sugar baby profession as something legitimate that they wouldn’t be ashamed of saying with a straight face. The only stigma in this forbidden romance was the damper it would put on their resumes if they got together before Annie graduated high school since they’d still be teacher and student even if she was of legal age. Legal age, mind you, of having consensual sex and driving a car without supervision but not legal age of drinking and voting, because thank you Mr Whoever Invented The Law. The waiting part wouldn’t be too big a deal since graduation was the day after tomorrow and after this Friday’s prom, she would no longer be able to call herself a high school student. Maybe he’d get the balls to ask her out. Maybe, if he’d gone as far as to buy her jewellery for her birthday.

Honestly, I would read the hell out of the development of this throughout the years, along with all the awkward incidents and the very very obvious way in which their feelings were mutual but whereas Annie was red and hormonal, Mr Smith was diligent in his efforts to hate himself for liking her back. For now, I could only close my mouth and let it stretch into a giant grin. I grabbed my best friend’s hands and shook her excitedly, and she was feeling the thing I was expressing because my exalted squealing made her smile slightly. We stayed there and discussed prom, Hitch, Mr Smith and the universities we’d be applying to till three in the afternoon when the waiter was becoming more and more disturbed by our constant presence. I gave Annie a ride home, then headed back to the house, knowing very well I’d have nothing to do for the rest of the day.

I made myself a snack and went to my room, not forgetting, of course, to check up on my hickeys in the bathroom mirror only to sigh in aggravation because they would probably still hang around at prom. Which meant it was mandatory for me to hide them for the graduation ceremony. I cringed at the mere thought of talking to Eren’s mother with marks from another guy’s mouth on my neck under a ton of concealer. Then I spent a dreadfully boring hour scrolling through my Instagram feed and sending Annie the videos that made me laugh out loud contrary to those that only made me snort. It was around then that Levi got home and I was staring at my ceiling because another annoying memory had decided to visit me.

Everything is hot. Everything is hot and I’m bothered and insecure. I don’t know when he’s begun kissing my neck. The pecks feel like little tingling fingerprints down my pulse. His mouth is so hot it burns. It doesn’t hurt. It’s the alcohol but his kisses feel different, they feel way too good to be true. Almost heavenly.

“Am I pretty? At least a little?” I’ve muttered it and the ceiling is black and far away and his body is pressed against mine and he ignores the question at first. His face is in the crook of my neck and my fingers are tangled in his hair. Fuck him for using my conditioner. He bites. My back arches and I make a sound that surprises only me. I’m sure I’m red. I’m sure it’s not only because of the booze.

“You’re fucking beautiful.” It’s husky and he sounds almost like he chuckles. God, why does he have to sound like that? He’s sucking on the same spot he bit and it doesn’t hurt for a second but it does make me think weird things. Like, do people leave hickeys on people as a mark of ownership? Because, you know, branding them is wrong nowadays. Some people are into it. I don’t know if I’m into it. I can’t say I’m against having a reminder of this. But it’s not ownership. Because I hate him and he’s giving me validation and… why is he doing that?

“Is that why you’re not rejecting me?” Just because my boobs look fine in a bra? Just because my face is average? Just because I’m “fucking beautiful”, which he, in no way, shape or form, means? The kisses halt and he’s facing me in the gloom, hot breaths fanning my face as his lids lifts and for a second, I can’t see the blue specks there. I can’t see them and it almost scares me. Because they’re supposed to be there. They’re supposed to tell me to count.

“No, I…” His expression contorts but I’m too drunk to read it. He looks almost like he’s in pain, like he’s tired, like he’s surprised to see me under him. Maybe he is. The blue specks flicker at me suddenly, right about the time his hand lifts to brush a stray strand from my forehead. “Believe it or not, I care about you, princess.” It’s not the voice. Not exactly. There’s something else. Something sad. Something very very bitter. I want to take a picture of this expression and look at it when I’m sober. My heart skips a beat.

“I think I hate you.” But he cares about me and I’m not smiling. This is something else. He sighs in the dark and leans down to kiss me again. I don’t hate his kisses. His kisses are the only thing I want to remember tomorrow. I want to remember them for a long time. Even if he doesn’t truly care. Even if he’s lying constantly. Even if he doesn’t think I’m beautiful. I want to remember those kisses. Because, in a weird way I can’t comprehend, he makes them feel like they care. Even if they burn. They care. And when he bites down on my collarbone and leaves another hickey, I don’t really care about anything else.

Sure, recounting all that was stressful. It was stressful to remember it when I had dinner on my own and it was stressful when my parents got home at eight in the evening with smiles that looked like they might split their faces in two. It was stressful, but not more stressful than going to the kitchen at nine p.m. for a glass of water only to begin practising a prom-appropriate waltz and getting caught by my father’s intern. It would’ve been less stressful if I were actually good. My pride would live even after I’d been seen in the arms of an invisible partner – it wouldn’t live down the fact I’d face-planted when nobody had been there to step on my toes.

“One, two, three. One, two, three. Back, forth, back. You’re not spinning.” Levi scolded while I held onto my invisible partner. In my mind, I’d named him Ethan back when I’d done my initial curtsy, which might have not been the best name because it reminded me of cousin Ethan. Either way, Ethan was certainly more patient than Levi because it had been only ten minutes since he’d butted in and proposed to overlook my dancing practice and he was already close to blowing a fuse out of exasperation. No matter how tolerant under normal circumstances and how good of a teacher he’d proven to be during the past two months when he’d helped me cram regularly, this was clearly not his forte. Or maybe I was just so incompetent I’d exhausted the stock of the most patient man on this planet.

“There’s a type of waltz that’s done only in one spot!” I angrily dropped my hands to my sides in an act of protest and glared at my so-called teacher. He glared right back and I objected before he could even say anything. “Look, I know how it’s supposed to go. I’m bad at the practical part.” I was good at dancing in theory. My father had gone out of his way to sign me up for that, too, aside from the short-lived piano lessons and the French I later learned in high school either way. Rolland Raven had been most focused on making me into a proper Raven through the years-long acting lessons I actually enjoyed and making me into a proper lady through the dancing ones. I exceeded there when it came to everything besides the physical part. Because “couldn’t dance” and “didn’t know how to dance” were two vastly different statements and only the former applied to me. It applied to me so much I couldn’t perform the easiest dance of all.

“Because you’re a fucking klutz. And you’re forcing a bad ankle.” Levi retorted with a scoff, making me frown. Sure, he wasn’t a good dancing teacher but I wasn’t a good dancing student either. I was clumsy, short-tempered and a bit too feisty. But I was also stubborn, which was why I put my hand back on Ethan’s shoulder and kept trying to accomplish the three-step routine until, of course, the ebony-haired intern gave such a heavy sigh one might’ve thought just the sight of me right now was dealing him internal damage. “You’re hopeless.” He got up from his seat and approached me. “Straighten your posture.” I complied and he grabbed my left hand in his hold. “Hand on my shoulder. I pity your invisible partner. I feel you’re stepping on him even when he’s not there.” I could’ve corrected his name was Ethan and he might feel dejected at being replaced, but kept my mouth shut instead. “I’ll leave if you step on my feet in less than three minutes.” He warned coldly, making me frown.

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t have any practice.” He was too close. There was no breath left in my lungs. I was staring at my feet too hard, doing my best not to step on him. The efforts of that resulted in us almost tripping. The point was for him to lead but I was just entirely inept and it didn’t help that asshole-me was pounding my head with memories of the party. I almost felt like my hickeys stung. “I’m going to need a miracle if I don’t want to fuck up at prom.” He was rhythmically leading me back and forth and I was yet to step on him out of spite – because it didn’t take too long to realise I was slowly becoming accustomed to the rhythm and that was an achievement on its own, even without the added spinning and circling the room. “You don’t need to do this.” My eyes were pinned to our feet and he was too close. Then he huffed and it made stray strand of my hair sway – and I swore I almost flinched.

“I have too much pity for the ghost you were torturing till now to let him suffer.” I would’ve called him out on it but my mind was in another place. My lips pursed in spite because I couldn’t think of a proper comeback. The words weren’t there and this wasn’t like me because the words were always there, always at the ready, always pushing to come out, always witty and confident. His hand was on my waist. If I looked up, it would be game over. If I looked up, I wouldn’t be able to meet his eye even after I’d settled for acting normally. If I looked up, he’d figure it out. In the end, the only thing I could come up with was something a kindergartener might say.  

“You think you’re better than him?” I tossed at him casually, making him snort before he curtly stated he’d at least danced before. Now that provided an opening even a baby wouldn’t be able to miss. “When was the last time – your own prom? And how many years ago was that?” My hand was sweating and we were going back and forth. Maybe the dancing was what prevented me from bickering with him properly. Maybe. And maybe believing that would make me delusional.

“Yes, at my prom, nearly three years ago.” His voice was flat and bored and I caught myself asking in a mutter whether he’d had an actual date. It sounded more curious than it did doubtful which hadn’t been the point. The point had been to poke fun at his love life and maybe lack thereof. But he had lots of aces up his sleeve. “Yes.” The confirmation almost made me trip, almost made me whip my head up so I could look at his face, check if he was lying. I kept my head down but my eyes were bouncing left to right and my hands were growing sweatier. Curse you and the glands you passed down to me, grandma. I felt like fourteen-year-old talking to her crush. I felt like the middle schoolers ogling Levi back at the bookstore months ago. So where was my big-sister-type of girl to encourage me not to swallow my tongue?

“Your girlfriend?” Oh, god, I almost cringed at how that came out. It was a low wheeze and now this was unfiltered intrusive curiosity, not a topic of conversation or the intro to a good comeback. And when his tone increased in terms of gelidity, I couldn’t help but look up. I looked up and I was a pest despite the change I could see. “Wow, what kind of girl would settle for a grump like you? Or rather, what kind of girl would a grump like you grow to like? Was she pretty, smart? What did you like about her?” Little inquiries and his brow twitched. He kept silent. Weird. Usually, he’d snap and try to shut me down. He was still leading me back and forth but his movements were somewhat stiffer.

“Watch your feet. I have to be thankful you’re only wearing socks.” My concentration had been ruined by my curiosity. I muttered something along the lines of an apology. My gaze was now pinned to his face – the clenched jaw and the narrow eyes and the brows that might’ve been begging to show a frown. I might’ve dug my own grave by prodding where I shouldn’t have. “Her name was Petra.” He blurted out coldly, making the air get stuck in my throat at the mention of the name. “She was fucking beautiful and not too smart. Kind. She understood me.” Of course, he’d fall for a damsel in distress who was kind and understanding. And that “fucking beautiful” put me in the dirt for some reason. Yes, I’d been a replacement. And when I looked at his eyes, the blue specks weren’t there. He was elsewhere. And when the only comment I could give was that it sounded nice, he only clicked his tongue. “I guess so.” The lack of music was getting to me. This was the lost look I’d seen before. The look that said he was seeing something else. Somebody.

“You still together?” Even the incessant lessons on proper speech flew out the window. Typically, everybody enjoyed talking about their significant other. Typically, it wasn’t supposed to go like this. Typically, the blue specks would’ve been there to mock me for wanting to know too much about his girlfriend. But this wasn’t typically because he wasn’t seeing me, he hadn’t seen me at the party either, he hadn’t because maybe he’d seen Petra no matter how close I stood. There was no jealousy here. There was something else. And then the switch in him flipped.

“Why don’t you spend your free time fixing your relationship instead of asking about mine?” His tone was sharp and abrasive and the disgust in the undertone I caught made my mouth go dry. No blue specks for me today, it seemed, because he was glaring so hard they were nowhere to be seen and he wasn’t elsewhere anymore, he was looking straight at me and he might’ve hated what he saw. “Learn the rest on your own.” He’d let go of me, I came to realise slowly. He hated me, I came to realise slowly. He left for my father’s office and I was in the kitchen, arms hanging aimlessly at my sides as I tried to process the happening. It was a prick at first. Would you look at that – I might’ve actually cared if he cared. I hadn’t heard a phone ring, but I heard his voice. “Hey, Natalie… yes, it’s about that. It would be a good time.” His voice wasn’t cold when he spoke to her. “I’m coming over.” It was a quarter to ten and I didn’t look up once before the front door slammed behind him. The princess was alone in the high tower.

I pursed my lips in the empty kitchen and gave a derisive snort. Yes, I was in the wrong for poking my nose where I shouldn’t have. Yes, this was my fault. Maybe the truce was done for. Or maybe we’d push through this, he’d live his moment and I’d wait for him to settle down. I made myself coffee and went up to my room, thinking about everything but Levi. Because I was proud and because there was no need for me to concern myself with that. I texted Eren about the prom arrangements and Annie about the dancing. She’d help me practice on Thursday. I was smiling at my phone, thoughtlessly scrolling and typing, and telling my best friend in short that I’d infuriated my father’s intern to the point of him leaving the house to go hang with my father’s man-eater secretary. Good news was, I didn’t feel a thing. Bad thing was, Annie’s opinion on the matter sided with nobody in particular and meant to blow a hole in the analytical aspect of things considering his relationship with Petra.

It was 2 a.m. when the front door closed and made my shoulders jump in surprise. My eyes lifted from the screen that was way too bright in the dark and I listened to the faint sound of shoes coming off feet, which then padded up the stairs. His door opened and closed and then, through my open balcony door, I heard him come out on his own balcony. In the dead of the night, even the sound of beeping coming from his phone was audible. I slowly got up from my bed before tossing my phone aside and neared the balcony door with the intention to close it. His French speech made me freeze in my spot. My brows furrowed and my lips pursed in confusion – I couldn’t follow the conversation well enough. I didn’t want to follow the conversation. But I didn’t exactly care about the contents of it either, because this was a brand new voice. And when he addressed his mother, I knew why.

There was talk of coming back, probably to France. Talk dropping something, probably the internship. That part alarmed me but I couldn’t be sure. There was a “she” and “a girl”, probably Natalie or Petra. The muffled female voice on the other side seemed to scold him. His voice was too soft for comfort. Not the same he used with Petra, not exactly. The foreign language didn’t help but the voice was getting to me. And when he chuckled, my hand reached for my silver ring. A comparison popped up in my brain – a faint memory from when Eren had talked about me to his friends without quite knowing I was there. It had been in the bathroom of a party and he hadn’t been drunk but he’d been preaching like a drunkard and all I’d wanted had been to piss. And when I’d heard him chuckle back then, I’d sworn I’d love him forever. It had been a gentle sound, an attached sound. Not lovesick but rather – caring. And this sound was exactly the same.

The conversation kept going and the difference in his tone startled me when they engaged in something that might’ve been called mild bickering. His voice was cold and pointed but ever so obviously reluctant to sound so. He cussed once or more, I recognised it only once. He sighed a lot when he talked to his mother and I’d give a lot to have been able to watch his expressions during that talk because it would let me read him better. But did I want to read him better? Wasn’t this a dead end? Maybe it was. Maybe there was no use. Maybe I’d see how he approached this tomorrow. The day was always wiser than the night. And still, it didn’t quite concern me. Could I go back to ignoring him? Maybe. I could certainly try and I could certainly bite back my pride in order to do it efficiently. But could he go back to not hating me? Maybe not. Maybe I’d dabbled in forbidden territory and he was mad enough to never talk to me normally again. Did I care?

Against my will and only in the solace of my own empty room and my guilty mind, I should admit I did. I did care because I’d established I hated him but I wanted to spend time with him. Because he wasn’t bad – in fact, too kind for his own good. Maybe he took after his mother. I couldn’t know for sure. But I didn’t mind having him around and I didn’t mind his company, I didn’t mind the races and the fact he sometimes won by cheating and I didn’t mind having somebody to bicker with who sometimes outsmarted me without even having the last word. I didn’t mind having somebody who humoured my pride and still chose to talk to me. I didn’t mind the blue specks and the fact he remembered how I liked my coffee after the first time I told him. I could hate him all I wanted but I didn’t want him to hate me.

Wasn’t that quite the irony? Because if he hated me, who would give me philosophical lectures on relationships when I complained about my distant boyfriend that I didn’t deserve? If he hated me, who would rap on my door in the morning to wake me up? If he hated me, who would I have in this house when my parents were too busy focusing on their careers? If he hated me, who wouldn’t? If he hated me, I would hate me. I think I already did. Life was just too good at throwing good people at me – good people I didn’t deserve and would only use. And then they’d leave. Hitch had once said something similar.

I went back to my bed without closing the door and listened to his footsteps make their way to his bed. I checked my phone and tossed it aside with a frown. My actions had consequences – I’d always known, but this was teaching me the lesson anew. Maybe it was a bad mindset but the conversation with Annie had made me conclude I’d lose Eren at some point – because things couldn’t keep going if I kept secrets and I was too ashamed of myself to share them. Because honesty was important but hurting somebody I loved was too scary. Being honest was terrifying. And being honest with my feelings was even more terrifying. It seems that would be the dragon keeping guard at my high tower. My hair wasn’t long enough to pass as Rapunzel’s. And there was no Prince Charming. No knight in shining armour either.

tag list: @unloved-cadillac​

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “ruby blue”. Back at the palace. Ben’s pacing back and forth in the war room, running his hands over his hair again and again, still trying to think of where Mal could be)

Ben: have the snowlem combed the island?

Elsa: twice.

Ben: could she have landed in Jamestown?

Cogsworth: I don’t think so sir.

Ben: have you been able to contact Uma in Arendelle?

Elsa: I’ve called my sister. From what she said. Uma’s in the palace chapel having a personal crisis. Again.

Ben: goddammit. Could somebody please find out just where the FUCK Evie is? Her sister is missing. She needs to give a shit right now. Her own feelings can go to hell for all I care and oh.

(He notices Mrs Potts silently kneeling next to Chip’s corpse. He approaches and kneels down next to her)

Ben (gently): Mrs Potts. I think it would best, for you, and....and for Chip, if I took you both up to the medical bay.

Mrs Potts (her voice barely audible through her grief): it’s okay sir. My boy and I are fine right here.

Ben (sympathetically): okay. If you’re sure.

(He conjures up a blanket and puts it around her shoulders then goes back to the table. And doubles over in pain)

Ben: Oh CHRIST THAT SMARTS!!!!

Belle (rushing over to him): Ben. Ben what’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened?

Ben: I’m fine. I’m just. Whew. Gotta go to the uh. Gotta go to the library for a minute.

Belle: I’ll go with you.

Ben: ummmm. No. Somehow. I don’t think this is gonna be a good time for a mother son field trip. Personal business. You know how it is.

Belle (not understanding at all whatsoever): yeah. Of course. Go ahead.

Elsa: hey Ben.

Ben: yeah?

Elsa: do whatever it takes to find her okay?

Ben: you know me. Nobody’s going to be safe from me until I find Mal.

(He teleports into the throne room)

Ben: alright. I got your message. It was painful. But I got it. Tell me where Mal please.

Ben’s Ego: hey honey.

Ben (smiling widely and going to hug her): hey. Um. Which one are you again? Fun. Realistic. Or boring?

Ego: realistic. The ego. If I was Superego I’d be wearing one of Evie’s creations. If I was Id I’d be a full sized talking dragon

Ben:....yeah that checks out.

Mal’s Id: you know it does.

Ben (blushing slightly): heheh. Hey.

Id: good news. I’ve found Mal.

Ben (immensely relieved): oh thank god.

Id: bad news. She’s at the bottom of the Mariana’d Trench.

Ego: oh shit.

Ben: so how do I get to he then?

Id: uh. You can’t. It’s like a worse version of what happened last year combined with the mind trap after she exorcised chad. She has to figure it out herself. Sorry hon.

Ben: why is it. That whenever Mal’s being dragged through horseshit I can never do anything to help her?!?!

Ego: Sod’s Law I’m afraid. Bad things happen. Story moves along. Eventually you’re wearing your crown skewwhiff as everyone’s bowing down to you and Mal at the closing of the final number.

Ben: heh?

Ego: oh. Sorry. Forgot to mention.

Id (jovially): we’re the narrators!

Ego: but unfortunately so is Maleficent.

Id: which is why your father showed up a few hours ago. She tried to manipulate the story into her favour.

Ben: oh. Okay.

Id: however. There is something you can do.

Ben: tell me.

Ego: watch over her.

(She conjures a huge mirror in front of Ben’s throne)

Ben: how? How do I do it?

Ego: just watch

(The image in the mirror turns into Mal falling slowly through darkness that gradually changes into a trippy tie dye background. When she wakes up she’s in a beautiful moonlit garden and once again wearing her Aurora inspired wedding dress. She sits up looking a little frazzled and takes note of what she’s wearing)

Mal: oh no. Not again. At least my subconscious knows what I li-

(She notices some movement out of the corner of her eye)

Voices around her: save yourself. Save yourself

Mal: oh this is getting creepy.

Ben: run sweetheart. Run.

(Mal starts running through the nearest corridor. Followed swiftly by similar shapes shadows)

Ben: what happens now? What do we do now? Tell me please. Because I’m completely fucking lost here.

Ego: hope that she realises what’s happening. And pray that she knows what to do.

(Mal’s run into a majestic looking ballroom. This is when “who do you think you are” happens. After the song. Ben flies to the ground and hugs Mal)

Mal: how did you get here?

Ben: mirrors.

Mal: ah.

Id: you two. Piss off.

(Blue and Green disappear)

Mal: what were those two in aid of exactly?

Id: showmanship?

Mal: I hate you sometimes.

Id (cloyingly): awwww. No you don’t.

(Mal sighs grumpily and turns to Ego)

Mal: I’m guessing she’s part of you then huh?

Ben: yup

Mal: is she your version of him or the doormat?

Ben: doormat. If she were my Id she’d be your dragon form.

Mal: hm. Makes sense.

Ben: they’re also the narrators of this story.

Mal: of course.

Ben: and unfortunately, so is Maleficent.

Mal: ah fuck.

Ego: sorry.

Mal: eh don’t worry. Not your fault. So. Since you’re the narrators. I’m guessing you know where I am

Id: it took us a while but yes. You’re unconscious.

Mal: I gathered that much yeah. But where am I?

Ego: at the bottom of the Mariana’s Trench.

Mal: what?

Ego: About 20 miles north of the islands barrier.

Mal: holy shit

(She grips Ben’s hand for support)

Ben: how does she get out-

Mal: how did this happen?

Id: you got cocky.

Mal: huh?

Id: Harry Hook is dead. Uma’s grief washed over the entire kingdom.

Mal: I got very, very happy.

Id: and therefore reckless. So yeah. Ya got cocky.

Mal: how do I get out of here this time?

Id and Ego: I got nothing.

Ben: well that’s helpful(.)

Id: like everything, my dear, the choice must be yours.

Ben: so so helpful(.)

Ego: I’m sorry we can’t be of more assistance. But your story has a fixed pace. And this is part of it. Ben and I have to leave now. But your Id will stay and guide you for as long as possible. Ben. Let’s go.

Ben: no. No way in hell.

Ego: Ben. Please. We need to go

Ben: no! I’m not leaving Mal again.

Mal: Ben. Ben look at me. Look at me Ben. I’ll be fine. Look at me. I’ll be fine.

Ben: we don’t know that.

Id: I’ll take care of her hon.

Ben (threateningly): you had better.

Id: ooooh. I like it when you get fiery. But in all seriousness. I will take care of her.

Ben: in all seriousness if you don’t. Then you’ll have me to answer to.

Id: honey. If I fail. Then you won’t have to worry about killing me. Because Mal will be dead.

Ego: Ben. Please. We need to go now.

Mal: I’ll be fine. It’s okay.

Ben: could you two give us a few minutes please.

Ego: I’ll be back in the throne room.

Id: I’ll be watching from an archway.

(After they’ve gone)

Ben: I’m not leaving you. I can’t. Not again

Mal: I don’t want you to go either. But sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to and-

Ben: it’s not just that.

Mal: hm?

Ben: it’s one thing to team up and help you. But I. I just. I don’t fully trust him to save you on his own.

Mal: are you. Are you jealous of my subconscious?

Ben (hesitantly): mmmmaybe....

(Mal bursts into giggles and glomps Ben)

Mal: awwww. I don’t think you’ve ever been jealous before.

Ben: so you’re not. You’re not mad?

Mal: why would I be mad? You’re so worried about me that you’re jealous of my own subconscious. It’s actually incredibly flattering.

Ben: well that’s kinda confusing.

Mal: wanna talk it out?

Ben: please?

(This is when “lay all your love on me” happens. After the song. Ego all but drags Ben out of the mirror and back into the throne room. All before he can properly say goodbye to Mal)

Ben (indignantly): what was that for?

Ego: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But you can’t be in there right now. She has to do this herself.

Ben: that’s not fair

Ego: I know. I know it’s not fair. Nothing about any of this is fair. But this is how the story has to go.

(Back in side Mal’s subconscious)

Id: come along Mal.

Mal: to where?

Id: I have no idea....

Mal: oh that’s helpful(.)

Id: hallways!

Mal: what?

Id: hallways. Corridors. Such and such and the like.

Mal: you’re making even less sense than before.

Id: come with me.

(He grabs her hand and drags her out of the ballroom and into a corridor lined with handsome oaken doors bedecked in gold filigree with silver doorknobs)

Mal: this all looks way posher than last time.

Id: budget expansion.

Mal: if you say so.

Id: which door first.

Mal: I ain’t going in any of those.

Id: fine. I’ll choose. Let’s see

(He zaps Mal into the first door on her right. She finds herself at a table as the only member in the audience of a cabaret show)

Id: ladies and gentlemen. Nightmares and daydreams. Both corporeal and non-corporeal alike. May I present to you. The Heroes. Of Auradon.

(The stage floodlights boom into life and centre on Lonnie, Jane and Maddy dressed in 1910’s era cabaret girl costumes)

Mal: oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me

(This is when “more, more, more” happens. After the song. Stubbornly pushes Id’s shoulder)

Mal: what the HELL was that for?

Id: pppprrrrbbbb. Fun?

Mal: you said you’d help me get out of here.

Id: yah. But like always. You need to confront yourself first.

Mal: I hate it when that happens.

Id: yeah. So do I. Come with me.

Mal (stepping back a little bit): why?

Id: Mally. Chillax. I would never hurt you.

Mal: yeah. I know. But you’re kind of nuts at the best of times. And that’s when I’m NOT drowning. So just please. Let me deal with this. Okay?

Id: you and I both know that I can’t do that. Now. Let’s see what’s behind Door Number 98!

(The corridor zooms forward and Mal’s at a door with a large “98” emblazoned on it)

Mal: is this another traumatic cabaret what-have-you?

Id (truthfully): nope. Just a little pick me up for ya.

(Mal tentatively opens the door. Inside she finds her friends in a large checkerboard ballroom, dressed in black and white, dancing the quadrille)

Mal: nononono. No. Not again

Id: Mal. Listen to me. You have this massive support network but you trying to do stuff on your own. Now, granted, you actually do have to do this one particular thing on your own. But when you get out of here. You’re going to need everyone.

Mal: I. I. I have to get out of here.

(She heads to the door but Id stops her. This is when “firework” happens. After the song. Mal and Id leave the room)

Mal: that was. Actually not so bad.

Id: I have my way darl. So. Did you get the hidden message?

Mal: what?

Id: you know what to do. Go and do it.

Mal: I. I don’t know what you mean WOAH!!!!

(The corridor give a violent lurch to the left and a deluge of water comes barreling towards them. Mal’s only saved from being washed away by Id pulling her to safety against the wall)

Mal: what the fuck was that?

Id (panicking): nononononoNO!!!! This wasn’t supposed to happen. I thought she had more time. I thought she had more time.

Mal (starting to worry): more time? More time for what?

Id (gulping heavily): I’m so sorry sweetheart. Go right down to the end. You’ll find a giant library. Go through every book you can get your hands on. Get. The hell. Out of here. Please.

Mal: you’re not coming with me?

Id: I I can’t. I can’t. Not right now. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.

(He disappears leaving Mal alone in the sodden corridor. Back in the throne room. Id stumbles out of the mirror)

Ben: what’s happening? What was that water thing that just happened? Is Mal okay?

Id: Ben. Please. Not right now.

Ego: what do we need to do?

Id: you. You you need to get to Arendelle. Get Uma. She might be able to help

Ego: on it.

(She disappears. Leaving Id panicking and Ben even more confused than before)

Ben: what’s. Happening?

Id: she’s drowning. She’s drowning as we speak. And there’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing any of us MMPH!

(Bens walked to Id and kissed him fully on the mouth. And it last for a very revolving two minutes. After which Id is speechless)

Id: whaaaa....?!?!

Ben: sorry. I just needed you to calm down and I would never slap Mal without her permission so. Kissing it is.

Id: that wasn’t a very long like kiss.

Ben (confidently and smugly): why would I kiss Mal like king?

Id: good point. I just wasn’t expecting the uh

Ben: tongue?

Id: yup.

Ben: like I said. I don’t kiss Mal like a king. I kiss her like she’s my fiancée. Which she is.

Id: but I’m not

Ben: you’re Mal’s subconscious. Which makes you part of Mal. Ergo. You are Mal. Now! What is happening? Why did you send Ego to Arendelle?

Id: I think we might need Uma. She’s been in Mal’s subconscious before. She cares about Mal to an extent that doesn’t make her blind like you.

Ben: harsh.

Id: yah. She needs to be. I can’t hold her hand right now. Her Superego can’t do it either because he’ll just let her give in out of altruism. Uma can get her to fight. Her cousin can get her to fight. And that’s what we need right now.

(In Arendelle. Uma’s in the palace chapel trying to sort herself out)

Uma: I wouldn’t have been able to save him. I know that. Jas had me stuck to the wheel. I. I was forced him kill Harry. He just....stabbed him through the heart. And all I could do was watch. Of course then Harry stabbed him in HIS heart. So you know. Fair is fair. But....I can’t shake this feeling that. I could’ve stopped. I know I couldn’t have. But. I just. I feel like shit. And I. I want it to stop.

(In Mal’s subconscious. She’s making her way to the very end of the corridor. To be exact. She’s running at breakneck speed to the end of the corridor because another huge wall of water is making its way towards her. She just barely manages to dive through the final door as the tidal wave rushes past her. She lays there on floor, soaked to the bone and shivering)

Mal: I n-n-n-need to g-g-g-get o-o-o-out of h-h-h-here.

(Having enough of shivering. She lights herself on fire to get herself warm)

Mal: that’s better. You can go now.

(The fire disappears)

Mal: thank you. How the hell am I going to get out of here?

(Her Superego materialises out of thin air)

Superego: you know what needs to be done.

Mal: nope

Superego: you have to. There’s no other way.

Mal: are you stupid? I’m not gonna martyr myself. It’s not gonna happen.

Superego: what other choice is there? You’re already drowning. I don’t like this anymore than you do. Believe me. I don’t. But the fact remains that the only logical step

Mal: is letting myself drown?

Superego: yes. Unfortunately. Yes.

Mal: not happening. You’re part of my subconscious. You work for me. So tell me how to get out of here ALIVE!

Superego: I can’t.

(Mal squeaks and almost dissolves into tears before she steels herself)

Mal: I’m going to get out of here. With or without your help.

(In the chapel at Arendelle place)

Uma: it’s not working. Usually this works. Why isn’t it working? Why don’t I feel better? I just. I need an answer. That’s.

(Unbeknownst to her. Ben’s Ego silently, and invisibly, teleports in and makes an invisible mirror to Mal’s subconscious. Where Mal is trying to gather herself)

Mal: okay I just gotta. Psych myself up. That’s all. I gotta. I gotta. H-hunker down. And persevere. Oh who am I kidding. I have to do it alone.

(The screen splits in two down the middle. Mal on the left. Uma on the right)

Uma: I always do it alone.

Both: fat lot of good you are.

Mal: now what do I have to do....

Uma: I have no idea what to do....

(This is when “head above water” happens. After the song. Ben’s Ego uses magic to gently push Uma through the mirror and into Mal’s subconscious)

Uma: owwww

Mal (quickly drying her eyes): what the-what are you doing here?

Uma (standing up): evidently. Somebody wanted me to help you. Again

Mal: so that’s their plan.

Uma: whose plan?

Mal: my. My Id and Ben’s Ego. They’re um. They’re the ones who’re narrating the story. Along with Maleficent

Uma: oh that’s not good....

Mal: no. No it is not. Let’s go

(They leave the room and head into the sodden corridor, eventually finding a door with a large golden topiary on it)

Mal: hmmm....I wonder....

(She opens the door and they find themselves in a large park in the middle of an upper class Victorian tea party)

Uma: where are we?

Mal: A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. One of my favourite paintings

Uma: I didn’t know you were into paintings?

Mal: I paint in my spare. Granted it’s nudes/still life of Ben. But still. You’ve seen my graffiti.

Uma: good point.

Mal: and besides. I don’t actually like A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte itself. I like the musical that’s based on it. Well. To be specific, I like a revival of the musical that’s based on this painting.

Uma (resigning herself to the inevitable): who was in it?

Mal (giddily): Jake Gyllenhaal. Beard and all.

Uma: what?

Mal: it’s set in the Victorian era. You take what you can get. Watch Downton Abbey. Pay attention to the Irish son in law. You’ll understand what I’m talking about. Now sit down. It’s time for tea.

Uma: I don’t drink tea.

Mal: ya do now. Huh. It’s changed our clothes.

(It’s true. They’re now wearing upper class Victorian dresses in their respective colours)

Mal: your hair looks better when it’s in braids. You don’t look right without em. Now sit.

Uma: thanks. I think. Blech! What the hell is this?

Mal: tea. Earl Grey specifically. It’s what Ben drinks.

Uma: well I prefer rum.

Mal: of course you do. You’re a pirate. Anyway. How’re you going to help me get out of here?

Uma: I really couldn’t tell you. I’ve got my own shit going on right now.

Mal: oh yeah. That’s why I’m here. Your grief wave made me cocky. Which is why I’m currently at the bottom of a trench at the bottom of the ocean.

Uma: ah. Right.

Mal: what can I say? My Id hates you.

Uma: you don’t need to tell me twice. I was there three months ago.

Mal: exactly. You helped me get of here once before. So you can help me do it again.

Uma: I don’t think that I can. But I know that you can.

Mal: whadya mean “you don’t think you can”?

Uma: oh god do I have to spell it out for you?

(This is when “for good” happens. After the song. The two cousins pass through the door. Only for Uma to end up back in Arendelle and Mal still in her own subconscious)

Mal: what the-

(The floor gives a violent lurch again causing Mal to fall on her face and slide backwards into the darkness)

Uma: oh shit.

(She teleports into the central living room)

Uma: I know where Mal is! She’s in a trench. The bottom of the ocean. In a trench.

Eric: the Mariana’s Trench? Isn’t that like. 20 miles south of the island of the lost?

Uma: okay. You’re new

Eric: oh yeah I’m Eric. Ariel’s husband. Melody’s father.

Uma: and that makes us....what exactly?

Eric: oh. Basically nothing. Cousins in law. I guess. But I am the one who ran Ursula through the first time.

Uma: thank you for that. It’s just a shame it didn’t stick.

Eric: well, yes. But if it had then you wouldn’t be here.

Uma: good point. Anyway. How do we get there?

Ariel: we can’t.

Uma: why not?

Ariel: we wouldn’t survive sweetheart. No merperson or cecaelia have been that deep into the ocean in. Millennia. I honestly think they how we got anglerfish

Uma: you’re not getting it. I have fucked up more times than I can even count. I need to help Ben. Otherwise. I’m done. The Vks. Are done.

Ariel: I don’t believe that. And I don’t think you do either.

Melody: and besides. All of us have fucked up one way or another.

Anna: I’m partially responsible for Arendelle being put through a Class Three Killstorm.

Ariel: I got my father turned into a polyp.

Melody: I almost drowned because of my own stupidity.

Uma: and what about you? What did you do?

Eric: I told you. I killed Ursula.

Uma: ah.

Ariel: anyway. There’s nothing we can do right now. So I suggest you get something to eat and then get a good nights sleep.

Uma: I’m not tired.

Melody: that’s how we know you need to go to sleep.

Ned: c’mon captain. I’ll show you the combos that work the best.

(Ned leads Uma away. Back in Auradon’s throne room. Ben’s still unraveling a little bit)

Belle: Ben you need to sleep. It’s been 24 hours.

Ben: I’ll sleep when Mal’s out of the trench

Persey: Mal’s in a trench?

(Something inside Ben snaps. He throws a knife at Persey and it pins them to the wall by their throat)

Belle: BEN!

Elsa: what the hell are you doing?!?!

Ben: you left her. You abandoned her. AND NOW LOOK WHAT’S HAPPENED?!??

(Persey struggles to answer. The only sound coming out of their mouth being blood filled gurgles)

Elsa: Ben. Let them go. This isn’t going to help Mal.

(Ben scowls but flicks the knife sideways out of Persey’s neck, making sure to make it hurt as much as possible, and dematerialises it in a puff of royal blue smoke. Persey breathes heavily and stands back up as the wound closes)

Persey: thanks Elsa.

(Ben rounds on them again and kicks them in the crotch)

Persey: mother....

Belle: BEN! I raised you to treat w-people better than this. Sorry your highness.

Persey: it’s fine belle. It’s fine. And um. Thank you for correcting yourself.

Belle: don’t mention it.

Hades (teleporting in): oh my god Persey are you ok?

Ben (seeing red again): YYYYYAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

(He gives Hades magically powered kick to the crotch causing the god to fall to his knees in pain)

Hades: mother of pearl that hurt.

Persey: are you okay now?

Ben: nope.

(His eyes glow royal blue and he force chokes Persey and Hades)

Belle (going full MomTM mode): BEN! This isn’t going to help anyone. Least of all Mal.

(Ben’s eyes return to normal and he releases the deity’s. But not before he bashes their heads together though)

Ben: can one of you summon Jay please? I’m still incredibly pissed off and there’s a massive chance I might “accidentally” bisect these two at the moment.

Elsa: sure.

(She clicks her fingers and Jay materialises out of thin air. His skin, hair and eyes are completely gold. And he’s holding a severed hyena head)

Elsa: Shenzi, Banzai or Ed?

Jay (returning to his regular form): no idea. But. The western sector of the forest is safe.

Elsa: well done?

Jay: awwww. Thanks. Now whaddya bring me here for and what are Perse and their jackass father doing here?

Elsa: they’re here to help us with something. And don’t bash their heads together. Or slash their throats. Or kick em between the legs. Ben’s already seen to that.

Ben (developing a MASSIVE slasher smile and turning his head Exorcist style to face Jay): I used my beast claws on Hades.

Hades: that explains the bleeding.

Jay: Mal’s missing isn’t she?

Elsa: how’d ya guess?

Jay: Ben’s going full psycho and her jackass father’s injured. Trust me. She’s missing. But you already know where is don’t you? Otherwise I wouldn’t be her?

Persey: damn he’s good.

Ben (his body cartoonishly spinning back to its usual place): of course he is. He’s Jay.

Jay: so. Whaddya need me for?

Elsa: Mal’s at the bottom of the Mariana’s Tremch. And stuck in her own mind. Harry’s death made her cocky. She’s trying to get out of there. But every so often it tilts and a wall of water hits her in the face.

Jay: so she’s drowning.

Elsa: yes.

Ben: I tried to help her but apparently I’m too close to the situation.

Jay: who told you that bullshit?

Ben: my Ego.

Jay: you’re really listening to your subconscious at a time like this?

Ben: she’s one of the narrators.

Jay: is she omniscient?

Ben:....Good point. What do we do?

Jay: Ben. Go through the mirror. Elsa. Grab the jackass and follow Ben. I’ll be there in a minute.

(The three go through the mirror and Jay turns to Persey and kneels down)

Jay: so uh. Why’d ya go?

Persey: my mother threw a coup. She needed our help. Im heir to Olympus now. My father’s king of the gods.

Jay: was it worth it?

Persey: my father controls the skies. Trust me. It was worth it.

Jay: okay. Get patched up. And pray Doug doesn’t get his hands on you. He’s far more ruthless than Ben is. And I mean that as a threat.

(Jay turns heel and jumps through the mirror)

Jay: so. Where is she?

Ben: at the end of the hall. At the door to the library.

Elsa: how can you tell?

Ben: we have the same magic. I can sense her. C’mon.

(He teleports them to Mal’s location. They find her curled up facing the wall. Having a full on panic attack. Ben starts rushing to her, but Elsa holds him)

Elsa: follow my lead. Mal. Sweetheart. It’s okay. We’re here. We’re all here.

Mal: I can’t do. It can’t do this anymore. I want it to stop. Please make it stop.

Elsa: I know it’s bad. But we’re here for you. And we’re not going anywhere.

Ben’s Ego: for now

Ben: what you saying?

Ego: I wasn’t wrong. You can encourage her. But you can’t fix this for her. This is something she has to do herself.

(This is when “you’ll be in my heart” happens. After the song. Everyone, except for Mal, is back in the throne room. Elsa rounds on Ben’s Ego)

Elsa: what the hell was that for?

Ego: I am so, so, so sorry. But you cannot be in there.

Elsa (seething): why?

Hades: she’s dying isn’t she?

Id: that’s usually what happens when someone’s drowning pops.

Hades: right. Goodbye everyone. And good luck.

(He heads off to the highest window)

Ben: and just where do you think you’re going?

Hades: to find my daughter. I’m a full god. I’m the king of the gods. I should be able to survive.

Ben: yeah well you don’t matter. Just make sure she gets out of there alive.

Hades: of course your highness.

Elsa: wait!

Hades: oh Christ Bernson. What is it now?

Elsa: where’s the ember?

Belle: Persey gave it to me. They said it might help.

Elsa: exactly. Find her. Find Mal. Find my daughter.

(She lobs the ember into the mirror and it skitters down to Mal)

Id (whispering in Ben’s ear): I told her to look for the spark inside of her and ignite it.

Ben: GRAB THE EMBER MAL!!!! GRAB THE EMBER AND NEVER LET IT GO!!!!

Jay: I’ve got the same advice. Just like. Half a rung less dramatic.

(Inside the mirror. Mal notices the ember landing in front of her. Still crying, she picks it up and immediately calms down)

Mal: who threw this?

Elsa: I did.

Mal: mom? Where are you?

Elsa: I’m in the throne room.

Mal: of course you are. Wait. Were you just in here?

Elsa: mhmm.

Mal: thank you for trying to help.

Elsa: I’m your mother. It’s what I do. Follow the ember. It’ll take you where you need to go.

Jay: are you sure this is going to work?

Elsa: something similar happened to me years ago. Only this time. I’m not going to let her get turned to ice.

Jay: that isn’t a yes.

Elsa: shush. Now. Everyone. Get out. This is between Mal and myself.

(She teleports everyone away and turns back to the mirror)

Elsa: I don’t know how that stone works exactly. But with luck. I can help you use it to lead you back to the surface. Are you eady?

Mal: yes. Only

Elsa: only what?

Mal: are you really sure this will work?

Elsa: I really. Really hope so.

Mal: then let’s begin.

(This is when “show yourself” happens. After the song. Mal is inches from the mirrors surface. Which is when 1000 gallons of water crashes down upon her and washes her away shattering the mirror in the process)

Elsa: no. Nono. NOOOO!!!!

(The mirror bursts into millions of pieces. Showering her in shards)

Ben (storming in followed by Belle and Jay): WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!

Elsa: I’m so sorry. It didn’t work.

Ben: well that much is obvious you stupid

Belle (sharply): BEN!

Jay: he’s stressed and he’s scared. We all are. Don’t hold it against him. Now. What do we do next?

Elsa: I don’t know. I just don’t know.

(Back in Mal’s subconscious. She’s just washed up in another grand entrance hall)

Id: I’m so sorry hon.

Mal: why didn’t it work?

Id: I don’t know.

Mal: this isn’t going to end happily is it?

Id: I hope so. But again. I don’t know.

Mal: I don’t even care anymore. I just want it to end.

Id: you don’t mean that.

Mal: the hell I don’t. Face it. Every time I try to get out of here I just end up further away from the exit. The mirror is shattered. There’s no. Way. Out. I’m Done. I’m done.

Id: I don’t believe that. Not for a second. You just need. You just need some encouragement.

(He clicks his fingers and they’re on a landing overlooking a grand stage. On it stand Green Mal who’s hunched over, and apparitions of Jay, Carlos and Evie who are made to look like gargoyles)

Mal: what the hell is this supposed to be?

Id: do you remember this?

Mal: another thing for the showcase we did?

Id: yup. Wanna watch?

Mal: do I have a choice?

Id: nope. Let’s watch.

(This is when “made of stone” happens. After the song. Mal lands in Ben’s arms with Jay right next to her)

Mal: how did you two get back in here?

Ben: sheer force of will.

Jay: Ben summoned his Id and she made a new mirror with her dragon fire.

Ben: like I said. Sheer force of will. Now. What do you need us to do?

Mal (getting down from Ben’s arms): I uh. I don’t know. I don’t know. Everything I try just ends up ending me further down and I just don’t know what to do.

Ben: maybe the library can help.

Jay: the what?

Ben: the library. Mal, you love reading.

Mal: yeah. I mean. It’s one of the only places I can actually sleep at. Besides under your arm of course

Ben (brightly): of course! C’mon then.

(What proceeds is a time lapse montage of Ben, Mal and Jay rifling through every single books they can find, looking for a way for Mal to get out of her subconscious. Eventually. Mal finds it)

Mal: no. NonononononoNO!!!!

(She throws the book away, hurls the desk into the door and collapses onto a squatting position. Jay summons the book towards him and searches for the correct page)

Jay (resignedly): ahhhh. Crap.

Ben (hopeful): what is it? What did you guys find? Is there. Is there a way for Mal to get out of here?

Jay: yeah. Except um. It’s not a. It’s not a good way. But it’s basically the only way.

Ben: what?

Mal: I have to um. Drink that potion from the book. Annnnd it’ll kill me. But it will get me out of the Trench.

Ben’s Ego (on the verge of tears): we are so, so sorry

Ben: go. Away.

Jay: Ben. C’mon.

Ben: get. Her. OUT OF HERE!!!!

Jay: I think it’d be best if you did go.

Ego: we did not want this to happen. None of us did.

Jay: I know. We’ll be okay. I just gotta. Take care of these two you know. Go back to your narration. We’ll be fine.

(Ego bows to the three of them and disappears)

Jay: it says here. That the subject, I guess it means you, can choose someone to be with them when they drink. Probably for transport. And you’ve got two of us. So you’ll have to choose.

Mal: I can’t. Don’t make me.

Jay: okay. I get it.

(He walks over to Mal and Ben and crouches down next to them. This is when “demons” happens. After the song. Ben and Mal are making their way to the table)

Mal: wait stop!

Ben: you okay?

Mal: yeah just. Do I have to do this right now? Or do we have some time?

Ben: yeah. Yeah we got time.

(Mal lays down on the floor. This is when “chasing cars” happens. After the song. Mal looks to her right. Only to see that Ben’s disappeared. She gets up and faces her Id)

Mal: it’s time isn’t it?

Id: I’m so sorry sweetheart.

(Back in the war room. Ben’s looking the sanded remains of the mirror)

Jay: what do we do now?

(Ben doesn’t answer)

Jay: Ben! What. Do we do?

(Ben turns and starts pacing around the table)

Ben: Demons run when a good man goes to war.

Jay: oh god seriously. Now? You’re really saying this now?

Belle: what’s he doing?

Jay (completely and utterly unimpressed with Ben’s escapades): quoting doctor who.

Ben: Night will fall and drown the sun. When a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies. Night will fall, and the dark will rise. When a good man goes to war. Demons run, but count the cost. The battle's won, but the child is lost. When a good man goes to war.

Belle: it’s a bit dark isn’t it?

Jay: Belle not now. Ben. Why are you saying this?

Ben: find Carlos. Go to Arendelle. Fetch Uma and Ned. Get back here. You have until midday tomorrow.

Jay: what? Wait. Where are you going?

Ben: to find my fiancé.

(And with that he’s gone. Back in Mal’s subconscious. She’s standing at the table, facing a giant portrait of Hades. In front of her is the book with the potion laying of inside it)

Mal: so I just, uh, drink it and it’ll, um, kill me? Yeah?

Id: yes.

Mal: why is uh. Why is that there?

Id: something to direct your final statement at.

Mal: I get a final statement?

Id: yes.

Mal: oh. Okay. Um. How do I do it?

Id: just say the first thing that pops into your head.

Mal: right. Okay. Um.

(This is when “Gethsemane” happens)

[lilacmoon83]

Lightning in a Bottle

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Regina stood in her apartment, stunned by what she was seeing, which was nothing at the moment. Finally, after staying late at her step-sister's following the news of Leopold's arrest, Regina came home. After her conversation with Vance earlier in the evening, she was sure that they had the upper hand. But as she stared at her empty home lab, she felt like she had been punched in the gut. She quickly dialed his unlisted number.

"It's gone…" she uttered once he answered.

"It seems our cover is blown…the Major figured out you were playing her," Vance said regrettably.

"How? We had her!" Regina insisted.

"She's a seasoned intelligence officer…this was always a possibility," Vance said.

"So what now? That was most of my work!" Regina exclaimed.

"I know…it's a setback, but she'll pop up again, I'm sure of it. And so will your research," Vance said.

"So…now I'm just in standby mode again?" she asked.

"For now…I'm afraid so," he replied, as he hung up. Regina huffed and tossed her phone on the couch. It was a setback…but it wouldn't stop her. She would continue her research to cure them of the Death Date Calling, no matter what it took and when the opportunity to make the Major pay came around again, she wouldn't hesitate to go for the jugular this time…

David sat in his office that morning, between classes, and soon noticed TJ in his doorway.

"Hey…" TJ said.

"Hey…" David said, a little surprised. He honestly thought TJ was never going to speak to him again, let alone come to him.

"So, first, you tell me I have a Death Date, and now some magic compass your sister found in a safe-deposit box is gonna be the way we avoid it?" TJ asked.

"Well, I'm not sure I would say magic, but yeah…it might be a key or at least a clue," David replied.

"Sorry…magic is just kind of a built-in excuse not to look for an explanation, but I still think there is one," he added.

"Well, as long as it can save us, I don't care what we call it," TJ replied, as he sat down.

"Those engravings... They're not part of the original design," David said, as they looked at the compass, which Emma had given him to hang onto.

"The weird star in the peacock?" TJ asked.

"The peacock was part of the Death Date Calling," David replied.

"So, who engraved it, and why?" TJ wondered.

"That's what we need to find out," David answered.

"Have you heard what happened at Samdi's church?" TJ asked. David shook his head.

"No…I haven't," he replied, as TJ turned on the television in David's office.

"If you're just joining us…we have a confirmed attack on a church, run by a flight 828 passenger. There are no leads on the identity of the assailants and there are only minor injuries to one man, but it is clear the tension between the public and these mysterious passengers only continues to escalate," the reporter said. David sighed and muted it.

"You think it's the X'ers again?" TJ asked. He nodded.

"Definitely…and Samdi is only fueling the flames with his church. Some of his followers think we're Gods or something and it's going to get people hurt…or people we love," David lamented. TJ wondered if he should tell David that he had attended a service, but then decided against it, because then he would find out that Olive was attending services at the church. She seemed enthralled by it, but he thought Samdi was a charlatan, though he hadn't told her that yet.

"Save her," David heard in his head and he took a sharp breath.

"You just had one…you just had another Calling," TJ said.

"Save her…" David said, as TJ checked his phone.

"So…according to Twitter there was only one victim from today's attack, but it was a man," TJ said.

"The Calling said, "Save her." David said.

"Who is "her"? You sure it had to do with what happened at the Believers?" TJ asked.

"The only thing I'm sure of is somebody needs my help," David said, as his phone chimed.

"It's Margaret," he said.

"I'll give you some privacy. I'm going to head down to the library," TJ said. David nodded and answered his phone, as the youth left.

"Hi baby," Margaret said. An instant smile came to his face.

"Hey yourself, beautiful," he answered.

"Henry and I were hoping you could pick up pizza on the way home. We've both got a craving," she said playfully. He smiled.

"Consider it done," he replied.

"How's your day?" she asked.

"It's okay…I just had another Calling though," he replied.

"What was it?" she asked.

"Just "Save her". Did you or Henry feel anything?" he asked.

"No, nothing here. Save who?" Margaret wondered.

"I don't know. But I got a bad feeling about this," David replied.

"Did you talk to your Emma?" she asked.

"Not yet…she's working a case, so I haven't been able…" he said, but was cut off when he heard Henry yell.

"Mom!" he called.

"What the...?!" he heard Margaret cry and then scream.

"Margaret!?" he cried.

"Margaret!?" he cried again, as he listened to all the scary noises and waited, though he was already running for his car.

"We're here…" Margaret finally answered.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Someone sideswiped us and we hit a pole. We're okay though I think," she replied.

"Where are you? I'm on my way!" he called, as he jumped in his car and sped off for the location that she gave to him.

Emma resisted the urge to sigh in frustration, as she questioned Isaiah, but pressed on.

"Sorry. I didn't get a good look," Isaiah insisted.

"So, you said that you were in here, and then you heard a noise and went out there to investigate?" Emma asked. He nodded.

"But you didn't get a good look," she continued.

"Were their faces covered?" Emma questioned.

"No," Isaiah said.

"Isaiah, we've met before. Do you remember that?" Emma asked.

"Of course I do. You're one of the Returned. You...you saved me," he answered.

"Look, I know that you're scared, but you are safe now. We will protect you," she insisted.

"I'm not scared. I didn't see them," he claimed.

"These men, they are dangerous, and we can't catch them unless you help us," she implored.

"Who pulled the fire alarm? Did they get a better look?" Emma questioned.

"I don't know," Isaiah answered.

"Don't you want to see the people who did this to you, to your church, punished?" she asked.

"It is not my place to judge. Their eyes will be opened in time," he insisted cryptically.

"I'll be right back," Emma said, as she approached Baron Samdi.

"Mr. Samdi…we need to talk," she said, as he turned to her.

"What did you say to Isaiah? Why won't he talk to us?" Emma questioned.

"Emma, it's not like I have some superpower. These people can speak to you about anything they want," he answered.

"And yet, they won't. You do realize that if we don't catch these people, the attacks are just going to get worse" she asked.

"Have you considered that arresting them may make things worse? Especially if you're the one who does it?" he countered.

"If I do nothing, then I might be next, or my family or you. Today was baseball bats. Tomorrow might be guns. Do you see where that's going?" she questioned.

"I believe in Gandhi's path. The minute we move to the offensive, we become a force to be feared. Then sympathy evaporates," he warned.

"So, this is a PR campaign?" she asked.

"This is about instilling hope," he corrected.

"To what end, though? People are getting hurt" she reminded him.

"To a world that understands and embraces us as a miracle," he preached.

"You mean embraces you and donates to you. That's what you're all about, isn't it?" she questioned. He smirked and turned back to his desk.

"I think we've answered all your questions, Detective," he said, indicating that he was done talking.

"Let me give you a hand," Killian offered, as he helped Greta lift some cartons of liquor onto the counter to be unloaded.

"Way to ruin my workout," she joked.

"You're really not good at casual, are you?" she asked.

"What, so, now I have to apologize for my mama raising me right?" he joked.

"Man, why do I always end up with the mama's boys?" she teased.

"What was she like? Your mother?" Greta asked curiously, but they were interrupted by her obnoxious twin brother.

"Hey, Greta…I'm taking the Buick," Nick said.

"Like hell you are," she protested.

"Last time, it took me a month to get the smell out," she added, as Nick noticed the familiar detective sitting at the bar.

"You're becoming a fixture around here, aren't you?" he asked.

"Best breakfast around," Killian replied, as he continued to eat.

"Breakfast is for regulars," Nick commented.

"Keep it up, and you're gonna find yourself right off the list," he added in an attempt to intimidate him.

"You want a ride, Nick? I could have one of my squad cars come by and pick you up," Killian retorted, as Nick decided to get in his face at that.

"Okay, aren't you, uh, late meeting up with your loser friends?" Greta questioned.

"You're one to talk," Nick spat back, as he stormed out.

"Your brother's a real prince," Killian mentioned.

"He's not a bad kid. He just... fell in with the wrong crowd," she said.

"Kids who fall into the wrong crowd tend to become bad kids," Killian warned.

"What about guys who hang out with sassy bartenders? What do they end up as?" she teased. He smirked.

I don't know. Regulars?" he mused, as she took his plate and put it in the sink.

"It all happened so fast," Margaret said, as the officer took her statement at the scene.

"By the time I got my bearings, they were gone. I'm sorry. It's... It's all kind of a blur," she added, as her husband's car pulled up and he jumped out in a panic.

"Margaret!" he cried, as he rushed to her and Henry.

"We're okay," she promised, as he cupped her face in his hands and put his hand on Henry's shoulder.

"I heard the impact on the phone. What happened?" he asked.

"I-It was a blue truck," she said.

"They didn't even try to stop," Henry added.

"They hit you on purpose?" David asked.

"I don't know. They were speeding. I tried to get out of the way. But.." Margaret answered, trailing off.

"Driver was probably texting. It happens all the time," the officer said flippantly.

"They side-swipe them and just take off?" David questioned with scrutiny.

"Probably uninsured. We'll keep an eye out," the officer replied, still with a flippant attitude.

"There's got to be witnesses or traffic cameras. A truck like that doesn't just disappear into thin air!" David cried.

"Your insurance company can request…" the officer started to say, without looking up from his tablet.

"Hey, buddy, can you just take this a little more seriously? This is my family," he snapped, as Margaret put a hand on his arm. He sighed.

"Look, my sister's a cop in the 28…" he started to say, but Margaret interrupted and he saw that she had a hand on her belly.

"David…I think there's something wrong with the baby…" she said fearfully.

Killian got to the station that morning and found a blank folder on his desk. He sat down and began to look through the contents and what he found was very surprising. He looked around the precinct and wondered who could have given this to him. It was a treasure trove of incriminating evidence against Cora Mills and if any of it was true, then Leopold Blanchard might be innocent. Not completely, of course, but innocent of this crime. Before he took it to the Captain though, he decided to dig and check out all the information for himself. He picked up the phone.

"Yeah…it's Detective Rogers. I have some bank records that seem to have a lot of untraceable dummy accounts where large sums of money are going. I need someone in cyber to trace them," he said and then nodded.

"Thanks…I'll bring them down," he said, before hanging up and grabbing his coat.

Margaret waited impatiently, as the doctor prepared the ultrasound. To be safe, they had taken an ambulance to the hospital and now nervously awaited to see if everything was okay. David clutched her hands and he was the only thing keeping her from bursting into tears at the thought of something being wrong with their baby.

"Okay…there we go," the doctor said, as the machine whirred to life and she smiled at the wonder on their faces.

"That's a strong heartbeat," the doctor added.

"So, everything's okay?" Margaret asked.

"Um, she appears to be fine…" the doctor replied, as they looked stunned and smiled at each other.

"Uh...oh, my goodness. Did I just...were you not finding out?" the doctor asked.

"Not really," Margaret replied.

"It's a girl!" David said, as he kissed her forehead.

"I'm so sorry," the doctor apologized.

"Don't be," Margaret said, as he kissed her forehead.

"Oh…" the doctor said, as she saw something on the monitor.

"Doctor, we're in the clear, right?" David asked.

"I'd like to run some tests and make sure there's no placental abruption," the doctor said.

"Oh my God…" Margaret uttered in fear.

"There's no cause for alarm. We'll just keep you here for a few hours, monitor the baby. Okay?" the doctor asked. They nodded numbly.

"I'll be right back," the doctor said.

"David…" she uttered.

"It's going to be okay…we've been through thick and thin and we'll get through this too," he promised, as he pressed a kiss to her lips.

"Save her," he realized at that moment.

"Your Calling…you think it's about the baby?" she asked.

"I don't know…but you and our baby are my first priority," he promised, as they waited for the doctor to return.

Neal sat in his chair at a meeting and for the first time, was finally volunteering to speak, mostly at Emma's urging. She insisted it would be therapeutic and he was finding out that she was right.

"I was a wreck, you know? I was hopeless and powerless. Alone, which I deserved.

"But now I've found someone who believes in me and who has accepted me with open arms," he confessed.

"That's wonderful," the counselor assured him.

"But I feel like a fraud, you know?" he questioned.

"Cause I'm still tempted. When I was first in recovery, I also struggled with relationships.

I finally realized that I had to feel comfortable with myself before I could be comfortable with someone else. I'm trying. It's just...it's not easy," Neal confessed.

"A big part of that was seeking forgiveness from the people you hurt while you were using," the counselor advised.

"I know, but...how can we start something new with the past hanging over our heads?" Neal asked.

"When you're ready, the next step is to make amends," the counselor said.

"I don't know if the people I hurt will ever forgive me. I don't know if they should. My father has, but then that's not surprising. Others…I'm not sure," Neal said.

"It's not about them. It's about you. And moving on. Taking stock of how far you've come and seeing yourself as someone worthy of being loved," the counselor advised. That was the end of the meeting, as the message was true for everyone in attendance. Neal left and made his way back to Emma's apartment, only to find someone waiting for him…someone he hadn't seen since his days as an addict.

"Hey…" she said.

"Tamara…what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I…I found out that you were back in town. You disappeared for a while and I thought we should talk," she replied. He sighed.

"Yeah…I'm clean now and I'm not into the life we used to be," he said. She smiled.

"Me too…I need to make amends," she replied. He nodded.

"Me too…but you have to know that I've moved on. We…we were really bad for each other," Neal said.

"I know…I get it. I'm not here to rekindle anything between us. I just want to clear the air and make a clean break," she insisted. He nodded and let her into the apartment so they could talk.

"David…" Emma called, as she finally arrived at the hospital.

"Oh, finally…what took you so long?" he asked impatiently, as they hugged.

"Sorry…I got here as quickly as I could. How's MM and Henry?" she asked.

"Henry's okay…shaken, but okay. Dad took him to get ice cream," David replied.

"Margaret is putting on her brave face. They're still running tests on the baby," he lamented, but then smiled.

"It's a girl," he added wistfully.

"She's going to be okay…" Emma implored.

"I can feel it," she added, as they caught a glimpse of the news in the lobby waiting room. It was another fearful person being interviewed about the Church attack. David clenched his teeth in frustration at that.

"Every... every time Samdi does another sermon or some idiot goes on TV and invokes 828, these attacks ramp up. It's just gonna get worse," he lamented.

"There is still a chance that it was an accident," Emma reminded him.

"It wasn't. I had another Calling. "Save her," he said.

"Margaret, Henry, and the baby were targeted because of 828. Now how am I supposed to save the passengers when I can't even protect my own family?" he asked in frustration.

"David… it's not all on you, okay? I'm going after the Xers. Vance is tracking down the Major. Regina...she's going to find a cure for the Death Date," Emma insisted.

"Yeah, I'm starting to worry we're not gonna make it that far," he muttered.

"You can't think that way and more importantly, don't let MM hear that." she chided.

"Em…I need all the reports that the NYPD has on violence against passengers.

"There may be some mention of a blue truck or what…" he said, but she cut him off.

"That is a long shot. There are a lot of incidents," she warned.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing. Em…please," he pleaded.

"Okay, I'll send them your way," she relented, as she gave him a hug.

"I'm going to say hi to MM and then I gotta get back," she replied. He nodded and took her into Margaret's room to see her, for he knew his wife would be happy to see her, while they waited impatiently on the tests the doctor was running on the baby…

[blogevaawrites]

Keeping to the schedule.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, sad, marriage, divorce, smut

Summary: After seven years of being married, two daughters and a difficult divorce, they try to understand what went wrong and why they let that happen. 

Part I

“I’m so sorry to do this but we’re having problems with a few scenes. I won’t be at home until next week.” He said from the other side of the line. Since the divorce we have been being very strict with the custody agreement of our children.

“So, will you come to pick them up the next Friday?” I asked.

“Yes, I will be there. And again, I’m really sorry, I tried to do everything in my hands” I knew that he doesn’t like to change anything about the kids, he says we should try to give them as much stability as we can. I couldn’t agree more.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.” I simply said.

We got married seven years ago, we had a happy marriage, but loneliness and exhaustion made me give up on our marriage. He started to spend more time away, accepting more projects in L.A or any part of the world but home. I guess home wasn’t what it used to be for him and for me because eventually I stopped complaining about his absence.

“I need to talk to you.” I said when I saw him getting out of the shower. I closed the door of the bathroom and l leaned on the sink. “About what? I’m kind of tired, can we leave it for tomorrow?” He said, drying himself with a towel. I was sick of it; I was being left to a side for so long that I didn’t hold it on.  “Not really.” He looked at me then, normally I don’t insist. “I filed for divorce.” His face went from confusion to anger quickly.

We fought, he got really mad. I knew I should have talk to him before doing it, but he was never around, I was mad and sad, I wasn’t thinking properly. He didn’t talk to me for four months after that night, he moved to his mother’s house and did everything in his hands to accelerate the process. I know I didn’t deal very well with all of that and either he did. Our relationship since then got even more complicate.

Our obsession with our kids’ stability grew after that. We both knew they were going suffer the most, at least Anna. She was almost six when all of that happened, she asked a few times, but we never gave her an answer she could understand. Emma was only four, she noticed that something was wrong but was too young to assimilate it.  

“Mom, Lindsay is having a sleepover this Thursday, and we don’t have school on Friday, can I go? Her mom will call you tomorrow to ask you, can I go, please?” Anna asked, taking my attention from the road as I drove us to home.

“Sure honey” I said with my eyes on the road.

“Dad is coming on Friday, right? I will tell her mom to bring me back in the morning” she always gets excited to see him, both do it.

“It’s not necessary honey, he probably will come to pick you up after dinner. I will pick you up to get lunch together at the park, what do you think?” she nodded enthusiastic, eating her sandwich.

Thursday comes quickly and Martha, Lindsay’s mom, picked Anna up. Emma got to sleep very early after a long afternoon at the park. I went down to watch a few minutes a TV show before to go to bed. The doorbell rang, startling me, it wasn’t late, but I wasn’t expecting anybody. When I got close to the door, I recognized the silhouette of the person behind the door.

“Hi, what are you doing here?”

“I wrapped the film early, I’m sorry if it is too late but I knew you wouldn’t mind. You can have the entire day to yourself tomorrow, in this way.”

“It’s fine, but Anna is not here, she’s at Lindsay’s house and Emma is already sleeping.” He looked devastated and it broke my heart. He usually doesn’t spent too long without seeing them. “You can see Emma if you want to.” I offered and he accepted quickly. He got into the house and went upstairs to Emma’s room.

After a few minutes, he came down to the kitchen where I was preparing things for tomorrow. I wouldn’t say our relationship was good, o was getting better. it was confusing. “How have you been? How was everything with the kids?” he asked from the doorframe. I turned around to see him and answered, “It was fine, no incidents.” I simply said. We looked each other for a while, we haven’t talk since we had sex the last time, he came to bring the girls back. He stayed for dinner and a while after, the girls went to sleep, we started to talk about them, about our past together, about us a couple. We kissed and one thing took us to another.

“I want to talk about the last time. I don’t want you to think I…” he started; I knew it didn’t mean anything for him, it was just sex, he has been avoiding me since then but him bringing the subject up made me mad and it hurt me a little.

“I know! Don’t worry! Let’s just forget about it.” I said walking to the front door.

“No, it’s just that we were kind of drunk and got emotional.” He started to say without following me.

“It was just sex. I get it! You made it very clear when you couldn’t wait to leave.” As soon as we were done, he got up from the bed and started to dress up. He told me it was late, and he had a thing to do in the morning, but I knew he was lying. He left me, naked in the bed, the one we shared for several years.  

“I didn’t want the girls to get confused.” He got closer to the door, shaking his head, and rubbing his face roughly with his hands.

“You didn’t want me to get confused.” His eyes got bigger, and I could see the anger growing in his face.

“You couldn’t care less about what I wanted so don’t tell me what my intentions were.”

“You made them very clear.”

He looked confused, but he moved quickly. “You always so understanding. But why don’t you just listen to me? I’m trying to …” He couldn’t say anything more.

“You’re right, it’s kind of late and there isn’t a reason for you to stay.” I interrupted him, he looked mad.

He took a deep breath and kept on “I’m picking the kids tomorrow’s morning” he informed me before walking out.

“They won’t be here until late afternoon.” I said back. He looked at me without saying anything and kept on his walking. I stood at the door, looking how he got in the car. He turned on the engine, and before driving away he looked at me through the window. “Thank God we’re divorced.”

When the topic isn’t our kids, it never goes well. I guess we’re still hurt.

I didn’t fully understand why he got so angry until I saw the pictures.

After he picked the girls the next day, I did some work and later I filled a glass with wine and turned on the television to pick up a film to watch but my phone rang.

“Hey hon! How are you doing?” Lily asked, with a worried voice that I didn’t get.

“Hey! Why are you asking like that? I’m pretty fine.” I said laughing.

“Well! I don’t know, I thought you will be kind of sad o maybe angry, if my ex-husband was dating with somebody after not even a year from our divorce, I would be ready to kill him.”

“What? What are you talking about? I mean he hadn’t told me anything, I don’t think he’s dating again.” I said quite confused.

“Shit! You haven’t seen it, have you?”

Right away, I googled him with the call waiting.

Chris Evans is off market again? The former superhero and the upcoming actress Rachel Welles spotted holding hands and getting affectionate.

He was trying to talk about our night together because he was going to tell me about her. I felt my heart shrinking. I guess I should have been ready for this, he was free to be with whoever he wanted but it hurt me.

“I’m sorry, girl. It must be weird and hurtful. If you need anything you know I’m right here, right?” she asked kindly.

“I’m fine. he’s free to be with anybody but I guess I wasn’t as much ready to see it as I thought.”

“Yeah, knowing something isn’t always mean assimilating it, right?”

“Right”

After the call I refilled my glass and went to sleep with a few tears in my cheeks.

Our relationship began so natural, and it went so fast. We met through common friends, we dated just for tree moths after he asked me to move on with him. We didn’t take long to get married either, we both just knew that it was the right decision. I really loved him, and I know he loved me too. It wasn’t a fantasy, but we were grown-ups when he met, we knew what we wanted for life, in a partner and we found it in each other.

He was a great husband, a great father and a great friend. I single tear fell through my cheek, remembering the beginning of our freefall.

“There’s not a good way to say this. I’m really sorry to tell this but, Mrs. Evans you had a miscarriage.” Doctor Lars said. I felt Chris’s hand in my knee, comforting me. I felt I couldn’t breathe. My heart broke in pieces. “But I’m six months pregnant, this usually happens during the first trimester. This can’t be true.” My mouth slurred. “Well, the actual name is a late-miscarriage, there are several things that may play a part in causing it so we need to do a few tests to find a cause. I know this isn’t easy, but these things can happen, and we can’t do anything to prevent it.” I touched my barely swollen belly, missing the movements of my baby. “What are we doing now?” Chris talked, taking care of the situation. “You will need to go through labour to give birth to you baby. I know this can be a very distressing time and you may be in shock but there’s not other way.” I could hear him breathe hardly before kissing my head.

We went through our worst nightmare. I gave birth to a baby I could take care of. Thankfully, after inducing the labour, the birth came quickly. We decided not to hold the baby. We thought it will be less traumatic in that way.

He went with me through all of that, but we changed. Everything changed.

Five days later, I came into our bedroom to see him packing his suitcase.

“What are you doing? I asked softly.

“I need to go to L.A for a few interviews and shoot a few scenes” I looked at him straightly. Not quite believing he was going to leave so early after everything. “Don’t worry, I asked my mother to come to help you with everything.” he said, seeing my expression. I didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t want his mom here, I wanted him. I caressed his back, calling his attention.

“Don’t go, please.” I muttered. “It will be just a couple days, two weeks max.” he said holding me in his arms.

“Two weeks?” that was so fucking long.

“Listen, I can really do anything. I’m sorry but it’s work. What you want me to do?” he tried to reason with me, in vain.

“Call Meghan and ask her to reschedule it. We have an appointment with Doctor Lars next week.” I didn’t like to complain about his job or ask him to not to do it, but I couldn’t go through that alone.

“Everything will be fine, call me after the appointment and tell me what she says. I will be here as soon as I can.” I pushed him away with my eyes watering.

“Okay” for the first time in our life together he was putting his family in a second place.

The worst thing it was that trip didn’t last 2 weeks, but 3 months. He told me that his next project was being moved forward, and nothing else. He left me alone in the worst moment of my life and I couldn’t forget it.  

After a few more glasses of wine, I took me phone and I called him.

“Hello” he said with a surprised voice. “What’s going on?”

“What was what you wanted to tell me last time? Hey, I know we just fuck but I’m actually in a relationship with some else and you must forget about it.” I slurred, mimicking him.

“You know it.” He said, I could hear him moving to another place. I guess he left the house.

“Of course, I do. Do you think I live under a rock?” I wasn’t jealous I was mad at him, at myself.

“Okay I get it you’re mad, but I wanted to talk…”

“What for? To say sorry for fucking me or to ask me to keep back of your new love.”

“No, it’s not like…”

“Why did you leave me? Why wasn’t I your priority anymore? I asked, removing the tears away from my face. My voice broke a few times, I was unable to keep myself still.

“Where are you? Are you drunk?” he asked hurriedly.

“It wasn’t my blame; I couldn’t have known it.” I kept talking.

“What are you talking about?” his voice was full of curiosity and confusion.

“We didn’t name him, he died without a name.” my face was completely wet, my arms were crossed around my stomach and my heart… I couldn’t feel my heart.

“Are you at home? Pease tell me where you are.” He asked desperately.

“Yes, I’m here.” I muttered before hanging up.

A few minutes later I heard the door opening, and his footsteps. I was in completely darkness, no TV, no lights, nothing but somehow, he knew exactly where I was.

“Hey! What’s going on? What happened?” he asked softly, sitting next to me in the half-furnished nursery.

“Why did you leave me?”

“Well, when you wife files for divorce, it’s actually kind of what you have do” he said with a sad smile in his face.

“You left me way before that.” I said quickly, he left me when we lost our baby. “We never talked about him.”

“I don’t think you are in an appropriate state to talk about him.” He said without looking at me.

“I’m fine. Don’t make excuses! You just don’t want to talk about him with me.”

“I don’t want to talk about him with nobody.”

“I’m not nobody.”

“Why is this so important now? It’s been a year since then, we are not together anymore...” he started to get up from the floor.

“You’re dating again…” I finished the sentence off for him “you told me you weren’t ready. You said you missed me, that you missed us.” I said, remembering what he told me when he was taking me to our bedroom between kisses and caresses.

His face looked confused and tired.

“I don’t get it. Why are so upset? You filed for divorce without telling me why, without giving me a chance to make it better. All I know is you felt neglected, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I thought we were just going through a rough patch, but I thought it was normal after all.” His voice was firmed, he wasn’t yelling me, but I bet he wanted. “I know you don’t think this but I’m not the bad guy here.” His eyes were red and watering. He never told me anything of this. He had been too angry to talk to me about anything.

He walked to the door, ready to leave me.

“You left me.” I said, calling his attention.  

“You already said that.” He barked back.  

“When I asked you to stay you left me for almost four months after I gave birth to my death son. I needed you Chris, and you rather work than be with your wife.” His face kept straight; he knew what I was talking about. I got up when I saw him get closer to me. He looked at me for minutes, as he wasn’t sure about his next words.

“I went to therapy. I didn’t come back home because I wasn’t stable, not because I was working, not because I wanted to leave, it was because I didn’t see another way to deal with everything. You were right when you said holding our baby it would be traumatic, it was.” I didn’t understand what he was talking about, we agreed on not to hold the baby when he was born but he cleared all up “I couldn’t help it, I saw him coming out of you as the same way Emma and Anna did. I needed to see him, and it was the worst thing I could have done, but it was my son.” His eyes never left mine when his body got much closer to me. “I lost my son too, honey. I couldn’t be there for you because I wasn’t handling in the right way.” I saw a single tear going down through his cheek. At least I wasn’t the only one crying.

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Because you gave birth to him! How the fucking hell could I have told you I was the one losing his mind after that? I know I should have stayed with you but believe me, there wasn’t another option, I didn’t find another way.”  

[moemammon]

Hi! I just got my wisdom teeth out yesterday and I was wondering how the brothers would react to a very high and emotional MC~!

Or how would the brothers take care of them?

I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense or not.

I hope you have a good day.

As someone who's also had a wisdom tooth out, I can confirm that it ain't pleasant-

MC's High on Wisdom Tooth-related Pain Meds!

(Feat. The Demon Bros and GN!MC)

Lucifer

Humans???are so weak wtf???

He was vaguely aware that human children's teeth fall out at some point

But aren't you too old for that?? Why did you have to get them removed

Finds the whole thing troublesome, because now he has a loopy MC on his hands who keeps crying and laughing at EVERYTHING.

Luci's pretty good at caretaking though (to an extent), so he makes sure you follow your aftercare instructions to the letter

Lets you hang out in his room if you can manage to be quiet, which is most of the time since those pain meds knock you out

Might even feed you your soup if you ask nicely enough

Definitely comments on your swollen cheeks and stifles a laugh-

Mammon

Imagine growing teeth just to get them removed?????why??

He was nervous as hell when you had to get them pulled, so he's definitely the first one at your side when you get back

"WOAH!! Y-your cheeks... did somebody hit ya?? They're huge!"

When you start crying at that comment he's SO quick to apologize-

And if he's annoying about it, he's actually really attentive? He doesn't know what to do really but he makes sure you've always got a fresh ice pack on hand-

Thinks it's pretty funny how you're acting all loopy and clinging to him, until you start screaming because he's trying to take your gauze out of your mouth-

"Oi, did they take some of your brain while they were yankin' yer teeth out?! This ain't yer tongue! Hold still, damn it!"

Levi

Bruh????

He didn't even question why you needed teeth pulled. You're a weak human, after all!

But he DOES question why you're in his room, laughing loudly while you watch Henry swim around. You're even talking to him??? Wait can you also speak to fish or-

But now he's more worried for his figurines once he catches you making grabbing motions toward his limited edition Ruby Moon Ruri-chan figure and-

Yeah, you get yeeted out of his room faster than your drugged up brain can comprehend

He loves you MC but please go away and don't come back until you're acting normally.

Levi can't deal with this right now... stop trying to make him tend to troublesome stuff...

Satan

He's already well aware that humans get teeth pulled, no matter how bizarre that sounds

But it's still interesting to see it in person, especially with how you're acting.

He's a little wary, but he lets you come into his room for the sole purpose of watching how you behave.

Doesn't trust you with any of his books right now, but he'll gladly read to you! Especially when he notices how quickly it puts you to sleep. That's probably thanks to the meds though-

Can't help but laugh when you INSIST that his room is a forest, because "books come from trees"

Pretty good with your aftercare too, since he's studied up on it. Under his care, your pain is bound to disappear in no time.

High key wants to look into your mouth so he can see your stitches tho-

Asmo

Babe??? You good???

He can't believe how SWOLLEN your cheeks are! He's got just the thing for that, okay??

A little repulsed by all the bloody gauze packed into your mouth, but he still loves you!

You're hella offended that he won't kiss you though, despite asking him a dozen times.

Sorry love, he's not a fan of getting blood and drool on his face, thanks! unless

Does recognize that you need some special care though, so he'll tend to you!

You just have to stay in your own room, so you don't get blood on his sheets. 💕

Beel

You had teeth??? Removed??????

Was it a punishment?? What did you do-

He's high key worried about your ability to eat, especially when he sees you can only have soft foods for a while

And you're so loopy that he's even MORE worried

Starts making you the tastiest soft foods he knows about, so at least what you eat will be good

Constantly checking to see if you're ok. Are you hungry? Do you need something to drink? Flan is a soft food, right? Cheesecake too??

Keeps asking you when your teeth will grow back, and wonders if Lucifer knows a spell to fix you-

Belphie

Somewhat aware that humans have teeth pulled, but not really up to date on the modern procedures

Notices how drowsy your medicine makes you, on top of being completely out of it.

He'll let you lay in his bed and ramble about your weird fever dreams, and honestly finds it funny

Compares you to a little kid and teases you to hell, but he's actually so soft with you??

Like, combing his fingers through your hair, entertaining your weird delusions and conspiracies, making sure you don't put your fingers in your mouth-

And when you eagerly tell him you're pretty sure Lucifer is the devil, he's just chuckling and agreeing with you.

"Yep, he's scary, isn't he? That's why you should stay here with me, and I'll keep you safe."

Not the greatest with your aftercare because he forgets about it himself, but he's pretty sure you should sleep with him a lot.