#love me a man in his 30s

[prettynhot]

though i didnt personally see him today, in an actually very random way i learned he wanted o see me yesterday?? i think??? even maybe he was eager to??

so today me and my not-so-close friend was chatting about our courses and stuff we were up to for the weekend. everything is usual and normal until she told me she went to my tc’s office yesterday, quite early so. as she tells me the door was opened to her from one of the other students there and our teacher was upstairs, AND IMMEDIATELY AS HE HEARD THE DOOR OPENING AND SOMEONE COMING IN, HE CALLS MY NAME. she even asked me if i promised i’d make it there since he asked for me immediately? OMG and i had told him previously i wouldn’t be able to be there on sunday since i had plans. and it doesnt end here, she told me he asked why i wasn’t there, to which she said i probably had plans. but appearently even she felt some type of weirdness and tells me maybe he was waiting for you,i felt that way. i got super shocked because this girl and i nearly never have any conversations and for her to bring this up immediately? she definitely sensed something up.then she even told me he never came downstairs throughout the day because he was incredibly busy. which IS weird because when i was there last sunday,yes he was busy but in every little break of his, he’d be downstairs with us.

may i be making this a bigger deal than it actually is? yes but i will enjoy every second of being the first person he thinks of to be there with him :)

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[hinamie]

I could've been a better man, but I'm not

more lmhs megu bc i love him. he is here fr ur lunch money :>

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[nocreativityfornames]

Not them getting together to take revenge on Mephisto

[tadfools]

I don’t want to say this where this comment was added because while it was rb’ed from me, the root post isn’t mine and I don’t want to drag op in a circus tent. Do we really need to put homophobic on the highest shelf up from the tik tok folks?

This is about Kethric and ????? Homophobic coded??? Statistically and logically speaking, there are going to be queer people that you do not get along with and that you don't like in real life. That's just the way people are. And it's not because we're queer, it's because we're human

Kethric doesn’t hate Aylin because she’s a lesbian. He despises her because she is the child of Selûna, because he believes that she corrupted Isobel - not with queer cooties but with the love of a goddess who he felt betrayed him

If Aylin was a man, the hatred would not be diluted at all

[eli-am-confused]

Guys they’re in love. They love each other so much.

I was originally just gonna draw Duke but then I thought about Miss Holloway and how she looks at him and I was like “he looks at her the exact same way,” so this happened.

[fizzie-frog]

Fizz is honestly such a weird character to remind yourself is a full grown man.

????????

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Michael Sheen playing Aziraphale as cockhungry as possible VS the Good Omens fandom and Neil Gaiman and the Lord himself screaming for Aziraphale to be asexual

[ash-and-starlight]

things i’m going crazay about today: the illustrations in the he who drowned the world illumicrate cover

(artist is glassbearer on ig)

[wikipedie]

The train is late and your family is dead

I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it. ― Jodi Picoult, Leaving Time

Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking | The Mentalist season 1, episode 7: Seeing Red | Linda Pastan, The Five Stages of Grief | The Mentalist season 2, episode 23: Red Sky in the Morning | teashoesandhair, grief | The Mentalist season 1, episode 5: Redwood | Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (for Beatrice) | The Mentalist season 4, episode 23: Red Rover, Red Rover | The Mentalist season 5, episode 2: Devil's Cherry | Anne Carson, Glass, irony and god | Jamie Anderson | Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides | The Mentalist season 7, episode 13: White Orchids | Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior

[princemonday]

It's a little weird, but I really like when the age gap between the batkids is like 1 or 2 years

20 - Dick

19 - Jason

19 - Cass

18 - Tim

18 - Steph

17 - Duke

13 - Damian

my main things are i never want dick to be gen z and i never want tim to be younger than 19. i used to have jay at 19 too but now that i actually am 19 i realize jay is absolutely not my age. plus i feel like tim in uni makes a lot of sense. also cass for me is always at least one year older than jay.

[opikiquu]

aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

Larry the mutant Venus fly trap as a human!

[feline-evil]

Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.

[catboyidia]

the groovy of the newest grim anniv card!!! :) i didn’t know what to expect from it cause they already went through all the students but im so happy that they went for the nrc staff! especially being an nrc staff (minus vargas… ugly bitch) stan that has been living off of tiny crumbs this whole time! too bad crowley and crewel arent kissing though 😔

[andsotheuniverseended]

Orimar Vale sir if you happen to be free any night this week i would love to discuss sensory overload and the pursuit of escaping the limits of humanity to become a story that will never die with you